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April 17, 2024 - Lionel Nation
45:53
NY v. Trump: Day Two ➪ Lionel Breaks It Down
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Ladies and gentlemen, you need me to tell you what to think, what to know.
You need me to help you determine what the hell is going on regarding the Trump trial.
I have heard more shite, scheisse, merd, little inconsequential references to things that frankly don't matter.
And I'm here to help.
And I'm going to tell you what you need to know so that when you talk to other fellow lawyers or prosecutors, they'll say, hey, this guy knows what he's talking about.
Because nobody's talking to you like a lawyer.
And you might say to yourself, well that's okay.
No.
When you go to a physician and you're sick, do you want your doctor to talk to you like a doctor?
Yes.
You want to hear you have sepsis.
You want to hear you have some prolapse or some type of blockage or sclerotic, ischemic, nosocomial, iatrogenic, Infection.
You don't want to hear, he's sick.
Yeah, but what am I sick with?
I don't know.
That's what Trump's being charged with.
I don't know what the hell he's being charged with.
I'm going to show you.
I don't know what the hell he's being charged with.
That's the issue.
That's the part that's so bloody hysterical about this.
I don't know what the hell he's being charged with.
Let me say this again.
I'm not...
I'm not trying to be cute.
I'm not trying to be dramatic.
I don't know what the hell he's being charged with.
So sit back, dear friends.
Get ready.
I'm going to take you to school.
I'm going to show you what's going on here.
And then you'll say, I didn't know that.
Why isn't anyone talking to me like that?
I don't know.
Because they keep repeating what everybody else is saying.
Do you understand me?
Good.
Now, before we begin, dear friends, let me tell you, number one, number one, I ask you, dear, dear friends, to make sure you are following me.
I'm getting all kinds of emails.
I subscribed to you, and I was unsubscribed.
I tried to super chat you, and they wouldn't let me.
I tried to say, I didn't know what the hell was going on here.
So keep trying.
Keep trying.
And thank you.
Thank you for this.
Thank you.
Subscribe to the channel.
Hit that little like button, of course.
Make sure you comment and everything, which is important.
Make sure you like liking.
Liking is so critical.
And before we begin, I want to tell you something, as I normally do.
I want to talk to you about our great friends, okay?
I'm going to talk to you about our great friends.
You listen to me right off the bat before we get going.
My good friend and yours, Mike Lindell.
That's right, there's a name.
He's got a name.
Mike Lindell from MyPillow.com.
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I'm not even started yet.
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I say this with pride.
I'm not just saying this.
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Replete with MyPillow pillows.
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I'm not sure what a bolster is.
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Okay?
You got that?
MyPillow.com.
God bless this guy.
I love him.
Okay.
Now.
I get very excited about this because I believe what I'm telling you.
Let me tell you something.
When I tell you I believe in something, when I tell you that a product is good or I like some money, I am not kidding around.
I mean it.
Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.
Dear friend, I'm in a great mood today.
A great mood.
First, let me tell you.
Look who's so great.
Madam Stamp says...
Lionel caught your last live stream cracking up listening to your diatribes about jury duty and being in line behind a slow individual writing a check.
Much appreciation for the genuine laughs.
Madam, we need laughs.
Can I tell you something before I get into the dark, dank, and horrid world?
Today, Mrs. L and I had one of the most beautiful days.
My beloved wife and I had one day.
We don't do this often enough.
We got up and we have on the Upper West Side, there was, what was it, a tulip show?
It's called the Tulip Show.
It's the West Side community.
They have these little gardens.
And it was beautiful tulips.
It was wonderful.
Tulips.
It was great.
Up in the West Side, 89th and...
And we're walking.
Oh my god, the weather was beautiful.
And we stopped and got a little Van Leeuwen vegan ice cream.
Oh!
Superb!
Cost a fortune, but it was superb!
And then we splurged and got a little Two Boots vegan pie.
Oh!
Walked back.
It was just beautiful.
It's a beautiful day at Upper West Side.
Beautiful walking around.
The tulips, the flowers, people sitting in this little oasis in the middle of the city with a beautiful breeze and nice people.
I'm telling you, I feel invigorated.
Then I come back and we talk about this.
But I'm glad to be here.
Now listen to me carefully.
When you are receiving an indictment, a traffic ticket, A speeding ticket, anything.
You've got to ask yourself the question, what the hell is this?
On this date, in Manchester County, at 12.03 p.m. on April the 16th, 2024, in the city limits of you were clocked by Officer So-and-so going 56 miles an hour.
In the 30 mile an hour zone.
This is the officer.
This is his badge number.
This is where it happened.
That's it.
It's to put you on notice.
Yep.
Here's the statute.
I got it.
I got it.
That's a good charge.
That's a good charge.
It tells you what it is.
It lets you know what it is.
You understand what it is.
Capisce?
Great.
Moreover, if you were to go and you were to plead to it, and then they turn around and you go, hey, I got a ticket in the mail.
It said the same thing.
Manchester County, April the 16th, 56 in the 30th, this is the same ticket.
They're charging me again.
I'm going to go and I'm going to say, excuse me, double jeopardy.
I pled to this.
This case is over.
You can't charge me again with it.
Oh, you're right.
How do you know this?
Because the facts are the same.
Look.
Look.
This ticket, this ticket, the same identical behavior clearly marks clearly.
Okay, fine.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You see?
So not only must it apprise you of what's going on, not only must it let you know what you're charged with, you've got to make sure that if they ever charge it with you again, you can say no!
I already pled to that.
So let's read this, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, I love you, but I'm going to treat you like a professional.
Like a real, honest-to-God professional.
Like a lawyer.
Like I said, I've told you a million times, if you go to the doctor and he says, well, you're sick.
What's wrong?
You're sick.
But what do you mean I'm sick?
Well, you're sick.
But you're not over it.
Oh, am I sick now?
No, you're not sick anymore.
What did I have?
I don't know.
Hey, guess what?
You're sick again.
With the same thing, yep.
How do I know what the hell the same thing was?
What do I have?
I don't know.
You've got to tell me what it was.
That's what we're talking about.
Now, dear friend, listen to me carefully.
This is count one.
Follow with me.
The Grand Jury of the County of New York.
Buy this indictment.
This is a grand jury.
Grand jury versus a petty jury.
A petty, P-E-T-I-T, jury, is the jury that you have in the courtroom.
Six or twelve, depending upon where the jurisdiction is.
Grand jury is different.
Grand jury delivers an indictment.
When they deliver indictment, it's called rendering or delivering a true bill.
And if they find no indictment, it's called no true bill.
And what do you need to have an indictment?
Probable cause.
Translation, he probably did it.
And as the great Saul Walkler said in one so pine, any prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich.
So, the grand jury of the county of New York, by this indictment, accuses the defendant, Donald J. Trump, Of the crime of falsifying business records in the first degree.
In violation of penal law, section 175.10, committed as follows.
Okay, here's count one.
You ready for this, everybody?
Tell me what he did.
The defendant, Trump, in the county of New York and elsewhere.
Elsewhere?
Where?
Elsewhere.
Okay, Mars?
Could be.
Could be.
Wait a minute.
Elsewhere?
Do you have jurisdiction in elsewhere?
I don't know.
Can you tell me what elsewhere is?
What does that mean?
What if there's another?
What if you charge me again?
It's a different elsewhere.
But I digress.
A defendant in the county of New York in elsewhere on or around February the 14th, 2017, Valentine's Day, with intent to defraud and intent to commit another crime.
What other crime?
Wait a minute, what?
With the intent to defraud whom?
To commit another crime?
What other crime?
And conceal the commission thereof?
The commission of what?
Made and caused a false entry in the business records of an enterprise.
To wit, an invoice from Michael Cohen, dated February 14, 2017, marked As a record of the Donald J. Trump revocable trust and kept and maintained by the Trump Organization.
Tell me what that means.
What happened?
In New York and elsewhere, with the intent to defraud somebody and the intent to commit another crime, I don't know what another crime is.
And A didn't conceal the commission thereof, of the other crime, against somebody with intent to defraud somebody, made and caused a false entry to be made.
And what happened with the false entry?
Did he?
You mean with the IRS or?
He made a false entry and what happened?
Did he show anybody the false entry?
Is it his own false entry?
Did he?
Did you?
When you took your checkbook out and say, let me see.
I bought myself a sex toy.
And I'm going to call this child support.
Did I commit the wrong entry?
No, it's my checkbook.
That's what I call it.
Well, that's what Trump did.
He wrote it in his...
Okay.
Think I'm exaggerating?
Count two.
This is count two.
And the grand jury aforesaid, by this indictment, further accuses the defendant of the crime of falsifying business records in the first degree, in violation of section 175.10, as follows.
Defend the defendant in the county of New York and elsewhere, again!
And elsewhere, on or about February 14th, the same day, With the intent to commit another crime and aid and conceal the commission thereof, I don't know what the crime is, but okay, fair enough, just like the first one, and caused a false entry in the business records of the enterprise to it, an entry in the detail general ledger.
In the other one, it was an invoice.
Count one, it was an invoice.
Count two, it's...
An entry in the detail ledger bearing voucher number 842457.
What the f*** does this mean?
What is it?
What's wrong with that?
Is that against the law?
I don't know.
Here's count three.
The defendant in the county of New York and elsewhere, someplace else, Mars, Uranus, his anus, on or about February 14th, With the intent to defraud and intent to commit another crime, again, I don't know what, this time, ready for this?
To wit, he made an entry in the DTL General Ledger, voucher number 842-460.
The other voucher was 842-457.
Count four.
Count four.
This time, the false entry was a check.
A check number 000138.
Now we wrote a check.
To whom?
For what?
What's wrong with that?
So we got a voucher, two vouchers.
Okay, count five.
This is different.
Now we're getting somewhere.
This is...
On or about March 16th through March 17th.
Okay, one day.
With the intention of fraud, somebody else.
In this case, the entry in the business records of an enterprise with an invoice from Michael Cohen and transmitted on or about marked as a record of the...
So it's an invoice.
What's wrong with the invoice?
Count six.
Wait a minute.
Am I done with count five yet?
Same time.
This is on or about March 17th.
There was a false entry to wit in the detailed general ledger.
A voucher number 846907.
Notice we've got a third voucher.
We've got a check.
Count seven.
Wait a minute.
17th again.
This time, it's a check number 147.
Count eight.
It's indeed, it's an invoice.
Count nine.
It's a voucher.
858-7700.
So what I'm trying to tell you is, what does this mean?
What does this mean?
Before we get to Trump, he's falling asleep, and Stormy Daniels, and the hush money, and what does this Mean.
This is the most important issue there is.
I don't care about anything.
What is their defense?
Excuse me.
Isn't it a fact that it was check number 000139?
Yes?
Not guilty.
Isn't it a fact that it wasn't voucher?
846-732.
It was 846-733.
We still don't know what these vouchers are for.
What's this check for?
What does this mean?
I swear to God, before we get to this nonsense about, and this is a case that nobody understands, yes, we don't understand it, because we don't understand it.
And of course he's falling asleep.
I don't even know what the hell this is.
Now they're going to call Stormy Daniels that slattern for what?
I object to it.
Stipulate.
Stipulate to everything there is.
Your Honor, what's she going to say?
We'll stipulate to it.
Yes, he had his way with that slattern.
To slatter him, by the way.
Now, if you do want to testify, here's what I'm going to do.
You've seen the statement from her saying, I never had sex with him.
I don't know anything about it.
I would love to go to a Kinko's or a FedEx and blow this thing up.
You ever seen this thing?
He posted it on Truth Social, and I've seen it a million times.
And I'd say, your name is Clifford?
Yes.
Okay, Ms. Clifford?
Stormy?
I'm going to show you what's been marked as defense exhibit number one for identification.
You recognize that big poster behind me?
What is that?
There's a signature there.
That signature look familiar to you?
It does, doesn't it?
That's your signature, isn't it?
All cross-examination.
All leading questions.
You signed that, didn't you?
And you signed that under oath.
Didn't you?
And in that thing you signed, under oath, you said you never had any type of relationship or received any money.
I forget what the particular phrase was.
But that you don't know anything about this.
Correct?
Yes.
Were you lying then or are you lying now?
No further questions.
Sit down and get her off the stand.
You're a liar.
Later on.
Later on.
Closing.
That's when you say.
What was that about?
Then it's a Mr. Cohen.
Well, well, well.
Mr. Cohen.
How was prison, by the way?
You see, you were, uh, went to prison for, what was it, perjury for lying?
Uh-huh.
For lying, right?
Yeah.
You were put in prison for lying.
So you're a convicted liar.
Yes.
Nothing further.
That's it.
Get them off the stand.
Let people think, oh my god.
That's it.
What did they do?
Nothing.
You just slapped them around a little bit.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get out of here.
You make me sick.
You sick lying bastard.
You piece of fuck.
Get out of here.
Anybody else, judge?
Anybody else?
Any other witnesses you got?
Who else?
Who else?
Son of Sam.
Is he available?
Who else?
Ted Bundy?
No, you got him.
How about some liar?
How about a Joey Suzu?
Huh?
Maybe you want to go ahead?
Any other liars you got in here?
And imagine during close examination, ladies and gentlemen, I want to apologize to you.
You were probably wondering, what does Stormy Daniels have to do?
What was that about?
What does she have to do with anything?
She's not even in the indictment.
Her name's not even mentioned.
Unless her nickname is Voucher 873215.
What is this?
Can you understand it?
I don't understand it.
I don't understand it.
Is this a crime?
You're supposed to go back in the jury room now and do what?
Say, well, let's deliberate on this.
Did they prove beyond and to the exclusion of every reasonable doubt that there was a voucher number 8760?
What does that mean?
Okay, there was a voucher and a credit and there was a refund and there was a voucher and an invoice and a credit memo and a memorandum.
Anything else?
I don't know.
Yeah, okay, good.
Well, now that we know what they did, and therefore, you're going to find him guilty of what?
How did he defraud in some other crime?
What other crime?
You know, it was funny, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when you were picked for this, everybody was asking you, what news do you read?
What TV do you watch?
How about this?
Do you?
Do you have a lot of patience?
Because you have to have patience to listen to what happened.
Tell me you understand what I'm saying.
Tell me that tomorrow, whenever you meet anybody, let's say, hey, what do you think about that Trump?
That Trump is guilty.
Excuse me, did you read the indictment?
What?
Well, he's guilty.
Guilty of what?
Well, you know, excuse me, did you read the indictment?
Did they mention hush money?
No. 34 counts of this.
Invoices, unless passing an invoice, in New York or elsewhere to defraud somebody or something.
Did you read the indictment?
No.
There was no mention of Stormy Daniels.
No mention of Michael Cohen.
No mention of anything.
You didn't read the indictment?
Don't you think it helps?
Nobody's charged with it?
You know what 175.1 is?
Falsifying business records in the first degree?
Falsifying business records?
Tell anybody you know this.
I have the most fun.
Did you read the indictment?
No.
Well, what are you talking about?
What you're talking about, he wasn't charged with that.
What?
He wasn't charged with that.
See, you just think that you know something because...
It's Trump, and because, well, you hate Trump, and you can say whatever you want about Trump.
Okay, maybe you think you can, but it'd be nice of you to get this kind of roughly right.
What did Trump do?
What did he do?
What?
You gotta tell me.
Give me a hint.
Give me a hint.
Roughly.
Just roughly.
Give me an idea of what he did.
Anything.
Roughly.
Ballpark.
That's what you do.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
That's what you tell people.
Look, you can say, look, I don't care whether you like them or not.
But do me a favor, the next time you talk about something, know what the hell you're talking about.
You've got to read the indictment.
Why do people think this?
I'll bet you the half of the people have never even read it.
Let's start with that.
I don't give a shit about this other stuff left there.
Well, you know, he fell asleep.
I'd fall asleep too.
I don't know.
Before we get it, he wasn't charged with falling asleep.
Right off the bat, and you can tell anybody, until you read the indictment, don't talk to me about this.
I read it thoroughly, all 34 accounts.
I don't understand that.
Now listen to what I'm telling you.
I don't understand it.
There's a case before the Supreme Court regarding obstruction of justice, which could do a lot to get Trump off the hook regarding January 6th.
Those indictments were very clear.
They might have been misapplied, but they were very, very clear.
On this day, too, had you obstructed her pose?
Okay, I got it.
I got what you're saying I did.
This isn't even a crime.
This isn't even a crime.
And they're going to bring this Stormy Daniels in, who disgusts me.
She went after Trump.
She and her girlfriend, some girlfriend, she had her eyes on him.
And he's a schmuck, too, falling for this.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned.
Maybe I'm from another planet.
Maybe I'm just a prude.
But there's nothing to me worthwhile when you're Donald Trump and you've met every two-bit, gold-digging, fraudulent lunatic and you've got some skank, skeeve, meertrix, some harpy, some shrew, some adult, you know what that is?
How many cases?
Seriously.
You're fooling around with somebody who, I don't care how many condoms you would wear.
And she goes on, Jimmy Kimmel, one of his talks about mushrooms and penis shapes.
How many times have you had the clap?
You've spent your life being stooped everywhere.
On camera?
This is your provenance?
Excuse me, I'm a bad guy?
Look, it's a free country.
Dude, are you proud of this?
You're an adult.
He's crazy!
Can you imagine this?
Mr. Trump, hi, I'm Dr. Rudiman, you have some serious fungating chlamydia here.
You've got some nasty...
I don't know what this is.
If I didn't know better, I'd think this was SIF.
I haven't seen anything since I worked in the Philippines.
President Trump, yeah, have you...
I don't know how to ask you this, but have you ever...
Have you been involved sexually active with somebody who might be promiscuous?
Oh, an adult?
An adult porn star?
You had sex with a porn star?
Yeah.
An incubator for every kind of VD, syphilis, gonorrhea, nonspecific urethritis, HPV, chlamydia 2, 3, 5, 7, herpes, AIDS.
Let's go down the list.
What?
Excuse me, wait a minute.
What?
This is Russian roulette.
What are you, kidding me?
In an era where we wear a mask because we might get COVID, you had your way with this thing, this Petri dish for dear God.
What, do you have a death wish?
You're out of your mind.
I'm serious.
I want people to understand what she did.
How many men in the porn industry?
Not how many people have you had sex with.
Not, you know, well, there's a housewife here, and this one was a teacher.
No, no, no, no, no.
You've got somebody who's been with a thousand people, who's been with a thousand people, who's been with a thousand people, and you've been with a thousand people.
That's like a factor.
That's what?
Eight to the twelfth power?
There's more combinations here than there are stars in the Milky Way.
Oh my God!
Are you kidding me?
This is the only job you get?
And how many millions did you make from that?
What is your...
We had a list of your film portfolio.
Do they have names?
Dear God!
That's what we're talking about, my friends.
That's right, hillbilly.
It only takes one.
And he's, you're making fun of him.
There are Philippine truck stop prostitutes who don't have your experience.
There are Taiwanese, not Taiwan, Thailand cartel.
Junket workers who can't even hold a candle to you.
You are an incubating machine for every kind.
And as you know, when you have adult films and there are people wearing protection, That doesn't do much for the film.
So consequently, you're having unprotectedness with people equally as concupiscent as you.
It makes the whole going viral completely different.
And you want to put that on the stand?
*sad* Thank you.
Thank you.
This is what we're talking about here.
This is what we're talking about.
And it makes him look...
I mean, seriously, he said, if I'm embarrassed, it's this.
And McDougal?
Luckily, she's been pushed off because her story was bought by Mr. Pecker.
By Mr. Pecker.
And Pecker from the New York National Enquirer basically caught and killed her story.
Let's stand by for one second.
You great and glorious people.
I hate to keep talking to you about this horrible stuff, but I will.
I will because, well, I will.
But when I talk to you about something which is very, very important, you listen and listen.
You want to talk about something that scares me?
How about something happens where you cannot get to stores?
I don't know what it is.
War?
Aliens?
Supply chain disasters?
I don't know what.
A Nord Stream disaster our way?
So prepare with Lionel is the way to go.
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Yeah, I got some spaghetti sauce.
Uh-huh.
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I've got a poll.
You've got a poll, huh?
Well, that's great.
Well, go out there in the radioactive field and look for some trout there, Sparky.
Somebody actually said this.
I've got a poll.
Prepare with Lionel.com, please.
Don't.
I'm not.
Look, you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to.
I can't make you.
But you know what?
If you're smart, you will.
PrepareWithLionel.com Now I want you to understand something, my dear friends.
First of all, you know I love you madly.
And I want you to understand what's happening.
And I want you to understand how this thing works.
And I want you to understand the way everything is working today.
And so when somebody brings up, what are you going to say?
That's what you're going to say.
Hey, you're a big Trumpster.
What do you think about your boy now?
Excuse me, did you read the indictment?
Huh?
Did you read the indictment?
Kill them right there.
They're dead.
I suggest you read the indictment.
Well, I'm not going to read.
What do you do?
What do you watch?
CNN instead?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, okay.
That's good.
Let me see.
When I'm sick, I can go to a doctor?
Or I can go to a manicurist.
Let's see.
And in the case of a Trump prosecution, I can listen to legal authorities, left or right, or I can watch CNN.
You want to hear The View?
You want to hear Joy Behar's view?
Listen, you do me a favor.
You read the indictment and you tell me what he did and we'll be happy, okay?
That's what you tell people.
That's what you tell people.
So today they pick, what, six people?
Okay, great.
That's good.
And they went through, boy, they went through, you see how they went through the social media stuff?
Oh my God, it was great.
It was beautiful.
I want you to understand something.
So that you don't understand this.
I love this guy, Trump.
He's not perfect.
He's weird sometimes.
But I love him.
And I want him to win.
And I'm not standing up for him because I just love him.
I'm standing up for him because he's right.
When he's wrong, I'll tell you.
And this indictment is garbage.
It doesn't say anything.
Read it for yourself.
I've told you this before.
I'm going to do you one more.
I'm going to do you solid, as the kids say.
But the kids used to say, here's the link right there.
Here is the link.
You go and you follow it right there.
That's the link.
Read the indictment for yourself.
Tell me what it is.
And if you don't understand it, how is a jury supposed to understand it?
And you're smart.
You got that?
Okay, dear friends.
That's it.
That's it special.
I've got some more videos coming up.
Make sure you subscribe.
Make sure you...
I can't tell you enough.
Make sure you subscribe.
And I've got loads of these.
Oh, I love these little short videos.
Aren't they great?
They're fun.
That's for people who have a real short attention span.
Now, let me tell you something.
Madam Stamp, I love you for your kindness.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
You know what I noticed today?
It was a beautiful day.
I told you, Mrs. Allen and I went to this tulip.
Oh, this tulip.
It was so beautiful.
We went to a place.
In fact, it's called right here.
I think it may be...
In fact, it's right here.
Hang on right here.
Ah, yes.
The Westside Community Garden.
So beautiful.
And oh, look at this.
Westside Community Garden is open from dawn to dusk for everyone to enjoy every day.
It's just beautiful.
123 West 89th Street.
Tulip Festival.
Mid-April through early May.
Every day from early morning.
Look at this.
The Westside Community Garden has weekly public food scrap collections from 11 a.m. to noon on Sundays.
Please note, drop-off will not be available if it's raining or the garden is closed due to snow or ice.
Bring your fresh or frozen organic waste to our collection point outside the garden gates on 90th Street.
It's just beautiful!
It was founded in 1976 on a trash-strewn vacant lot.
On Columbus Avenue that had been slated for an urban renewal project.
The Westside Community Garden is committed to providing a beautiful, peaceful, green space in which everyone can relax.
The only privately owned example of its kind in New York City.
The garden is fully funded by grants and donations and run entirely by volunteers.
It's beautiful.
It's just beautiful.
You have the Tulip Festival.
They got the garden in June.
It made my heart just...
It was just so beautiful.
So beautiful.
So nice.
People enjoying themselves.
Walking up and down Columbus and every kind of restaurant you can imagine.
I'm telling you.
This is just the Upper West Side.
I walk by Regis Philbin's old place and I miss him.
I remember where we went to lunch and walking him back.
I told you this story about how we walked in front of ABC in Columbus right there, where he, his, Regis and Kathy Lee for years was there, and there's a bust of, like, it was pretty like a relief, like a statue, but it's Regis Philbin.
And he was feeling kind of shitty one day, because, you know, he was kind of unceremoniously, because that Kathy Ripper, or that Kelly Ripper basically gave him the boot, and that broke his heart.
It broke his heart, and he kind of just did a...
He just wasn't the same.
And we're walking back, and I'm walking with him, and there were these people standing in front of this statue.
Well, not a statue, but it's like a plaque.
It's a relief.
It's like a three-dimensional...
Anyway, you know what it is.
A bar relief.
So, as this woman is standing...
Taking pictures.
I could tell she was from out of town.
She said, excuse me.
I said, did you like Regis Philbin?
Oh, yes.
Do you think Regis Philbin was as nice as he seemed to be on the air?
Oh, yes, he was.
Well, you never met him.
No, I can tell.
Don't you think, honey?
Oh, yes, Margaret.
And they were going back and forth.
And Regis is right behind me.
And she doesn't even, they're not even looking at him.
She's talking to me.
Because I have that talent.
I said, you know, I got the same, you know, I said, I know a lot of people who knew him, and they say he was just, I know him, and he's just a wonderful man.
He is.
I said, by the way, did you ever meet him?
She says, oh, no, I haven't met him.
I said, would you like to meet him?
Sure.
Well, here he is.
And their face.
It was perfect, and Regis, oh, shucks.
I said, Regis, come here, you son of a...
Let me take some pictures.
I'm serious.
He needed it that day.
He was feeling my shit.
I loved him.
We used to go to Fiorello's right there across from Lincoln Center.
He says, you know what I like?
I like a Coca-Cola.
I said, why do you say it like that?
Nobody says Coca-Cola.
It's Coke.
What do you mean, Coke?
You know why I like a Coca-Cola?
Like, that's a magical thing.
And he would love it, because if you busted his balls, he'd love it.
He'd go, you, that's so exotic.
I'll take a Coca-Cola.
Gee, maybe they got ginger ale.
Who knew?
Love that, man.
But it was beautiful today.
Beautiful.
And Van Leeuwen ice cream, you ever had that?
Oh, God.
They had a vegan thing called churros.
And something.
Churros.
And they had this banana pudding.
All vegan.
It's about 9 million calories.
But it's vegan!
And there's a place called Two Boots Pizza.
I said, this is degenerate.
Let's have some pizza too.
Vegan.
Two Boots.
Made in 1987 in the village.
These two guys.
And two boots, they're from Louisiana, and two boots were the shapes of Italy and Louisiana.
And they merged the two.
And just wonderful, beautiful day.
And how do I end this beautiful day?
By speaking with you.
My family.
My incredibly demented and just crazy family whom I love.
Thank you for this.
You promise me you have a great evening.
We'll see you tomorrow at 8 a.m.
Don't ever change.
I mean that sincerely.
I'll keep you up to date.
They're off tomorrow, so that's good.
Give the president some time off.
But I'm just going to tell you.
And by the way, when things go bad, I tell you when they're bad, things go up.
But this jury instruction stuff, that's boring.
This is the case.
This is where it gets interesting.
Because remember, how do you defend it?
Okay, enough said.
Now, dear friends, also, let me remind you to please.
Follow Mrs. L right here at Linz Warriors.
Right here on the screen.
YouTube at Linz Warriors.
Or Linz Warriors on X. And don't forget to follow me as well on Lionel Legal.
Lionel Legal right there.
You got that?
Good, good, good, good, good.
Very important.
Very, very, very critical.
You got that?
It's important.
It's important.
Okay.
All right, you friends.
Have a great and glorious night.
I love you madly.
You're really good.
You know that?
You're good people.
You're good folks.
And I'm proud to know you.
Wait a minute.
Hang on a minute.
Who's this?
Who's this knocking at the door?
Dr. Murph.
Thank you, Lionel.
And thank you, Dr. Murph.
You have a great and glorious night.
All right, my friends.
All over but the screaming.
Thank you, Wes.
Wes Inman.
Let me tell you something about Wes Inman.
Okay.
We'll see you tomorrow at 8 a.m.
Don't ever forget these words.
Monkey's dead.
The show's over.
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