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March 30, 2024 - Lionel Nation
01:11:02
The Biden Radio City Fundraising Sockpuppet Media Scam
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So I love real.
I just love there to be real.
I want somebody somewhere just to tell me, tell me the truth.
And so much of today's topic with you, my dear friend, is to tell you of how I detest and abhor.
Fake!
Fake!
Just the not real, the not authentic, the fugazi.
Everywhere I go, everywhere.
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Do you have friends of yours?
Do you have somebody that you know, that you've known for a long time?
And you just appreciate that because they're just real.
And whether it's this joke of a procession last night, which is such nonsense, nonsense at Radio City, this inauthentic lunacy, to the absolute unraveling, unraveling of ditty.
It's incredible.
Eight mortgages on three properties?
Who's lending him this?
It's incredible.
Suge Knight basically talking on the phone saying, you're done.
You aren't going to make any...
I don't even know if this is a threat or if this is just a prediction.
Then you got the governor of New York who shows up at a cop's funeral and they told her, get out!
That was real.
They're real.
They're authentic.
And then you have the mayor of Baltimore who said they called him the D-E-I mayor.
They said this is an equivalent of the N-word.
Well, you know, you might be onto something there, but you know what's also funny about that?
Every word out of your mouth, when I say yours, some of the same folks who are making this, white and black, calling Trump a racist and Trump this and Trump that, Race, race, race, race, race, race, D-E-I, D-E-I, reparations, reparations, reparations, black, black, black, black, black, white, white, white, white, white, white.
And as soon as somebody calls you a D-E-I mayor, you go nuts.
How dare you?
I thought you'd be honest.
And I thought you'd be honored by that, to be called a D-E-I mayor.
Diversity?
God knows we love that.
Equity?
Inclusion?
You're it!
Sit back, my friends.
Get ready.
Get ready.
Oh, my God.
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You know, my friend, my dear absolute friend, and you are my friend, you are so special to me, because you are so beautiful to me.
Can't you see?
You are so beautiful to me.
Pam and Jack Murphy, by the way, new members.
Pam and Jack.
God bless you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet evening!
Oh, God.
Remember the old joke where you say, you like knock-knock-knocks?
Yeah.
Okay.
Tell me a knock-knock joke.
Okay.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
No, you're supposed to.
Anyway.
Last night, three presidents.
Bill Clinton, who's looking more and more like Dick Van Dyke.
Have you seen him?
He looks like Dick Van Dyke, which is fine.
He's not looking real good, by the way.
And I love this man to no end as an actor.
Did you see the pictures of Gene Hackman today?
It's old age.
Some people are...
Look.
It's just you realize, wow, because I think when you see people who are older, it reminds you that you're getting old.
You're old.
Not that they are necessarily, but you're older.
So they had this thing last night, and you saw it.
Remember when I asked you this morning, I said, did you see any pictures of the crowds?
Did you see pictures of the crowds?
No.
Did you see...
Did you see any of the throngs?
No.
What did you see exactly?
I don't know what you saw.
Not really sure.
Nobody's really sure what it is that we saw.
You would think this would be the end of...
I mean, this was it.
This was the event of events.
Nobody was there.
Now when I say nobody was there, there was no pictures of it.
They would have shown you every, they would have done everything in their power to prove to you, prove to you, show you that they had throngs of humanity, throngs of humanity just lapping up the, well, nothing happened.
It's incredible.
It's absolutely incredible.
The whole storyline.
Everything.
Nothing.
Did you know that...
This is very interesting as well.
I thought it was interesting.
Did you know that Joe Biden had to be...
He normally...
You know, after events like this, remember the old days when Trump would be flying around and he'd come home late?
He'd fly and he'd be out at some rally all day long, two, three hours standing, no script, no nothing.
He was just going berserk and crazy and doing all this.
It was wonderful.
And then he would come back the next day and he was just absolutely ebullient, effulgent.
Glowing out of his mind, insanely bountiful and bounteous and happy and thrilled.
Did you see that?
Did you see any of that?
Remember that?
It was incredible.
He'd get home late, didn't even have his tie, just got off the plane, and he'd stop and he'd pick up 9,000 burgers and fly home late.
Do you know that last night, Biden had to stay at the, after the event, had to stay at the Essex House.
Couldn't leave.
He had to, I guess because all of these, either the Adderall or whatever wore off, he couldn't make it.
Nothing?
He couldn't make it.
Couldn't do it.
And he wants to be president?
Oh, come on, again?
Stop it.
Stop this.
And Trump is out just, he is just, they love him.
So that was that.
Here's my favorite word.
I love this story.
Have you seen the Baltimore mayor?
You know, seems like a young man.
Dresses like a teenager.
Doesn't look like a very mature type.
Sorry, is my opinion.
Looks like a kid, which is good for him.
Doing like this, you know, which is fine.
Hey, look, I'm from a different time.
I remember like, you know, Rudy Giuliani, Abe Beam, you know, different mayors.
Mayor Daley, you know, me doing the, whatever, whatever.
Did you see his signature?
Check out his signature, the Wikipedia.
It's like a child, like a baby.
And he looks, he has been nowhere.
Have you seen him?
Nowhere to be found.
So anyway, so now he's saying that somebody called him a DEI mayor.
Now, is that racist?
I wouldn't have said that because DEI, look, the guy got elected.
And you may not like that.
You might not care for that, but he got elected, okay?
And he got elected.
And because he got elected, You know, it's not exactly the same as the Harvard program.
But it hurts when they bring up race.
I know.
We're told all the time.
This guy's a white nationalist, a white separatist, a white supremacist.
White, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white.
Everybody's white.
Everybody's white.
Right?
Reparations!
Give me the reparations!
Give me the money!
Give it to me!
Why?
Because I don't know.
Are you a descendant of slavery?
I, maybe!
And why should you get that?
I don't care!
You know, I guess, have the Jews ever returned to Egypt?
Maybe not now is a good idea.
Has anybody ever talked about you?
I just, I love this!
It's like, what do you want?
You don't like this?
This is all Joy Reid's got.
There's nothing there.
They can just argue about race and say, come on!
Lizzie's got it right.
D-E-I, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know it and I know it.
It's absolute bullshit.
You can't live, you can't do this stuff.
By the way, We all know this.
Everybody knows this.
Everybody knows it.
It's a game.
It's this facade.
It's this pretend world that they're throwing at you.
I mean, really and truly, it's just this world.
Now, the other news, I love this.
Did you see Diddy?
He's got eight mortgages on three properties.
It was $100 million.
He's got balloon payments.
The billionaire.
What?
The billionaire.
Now, I understand you always want to use other people's money.
I got it.
But now it's going to really double down.
And a lot of these other folks, a lot of these other...
Suge Knight, did you hear this?
Look, I know sometimes you think I'm an expert on hip-hop.
I know, it's easy to think that, but I'm really not.
I don't know anything about hip-hop.
But I do know these folks.
And some of these people are cretinous, okay?
And you might say, oh, you're being racist.
No, no, no, no.
I've told you before, there are people that I think are crittiness.
And they're white.
There were a whole bunch of folks in country music years ago that I thought were submental.
And only today can you have this, I don't know what it is.
And you know what, it's none of my business.
If you like this stuff, that's fine.
But how?
You have no idea.
And I don't know why.
And I've never been like this before.
But I just want the guy that I wish, and I know nothing about this, but I would love to see him just crater.
There's another bullshit artist.
There's a Jay-Z, Oprah, Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey.
Just, God!
Not everybody.
Just these folks.
And the one that I love, you know.
Cat Williams.
Oh, my God.
Cat's running.
What's going on?
You think they told Cat to shut up?
You got damn right they told him to shut up.
They told him, if you know what's good for you, these people are cold-blooded.
When Suge Knight, did you hear what Suge Knight says?
He called from prison, and if you're going to be the one, do you want to sit down to piss, or do you want to stay?
What are you talking about?
They're making it sound like you're going to prison.
Why didn't they arrest him?
What about that secret room you've got?
Why is he saying this?
And Diddy's walking around.
By the way, can Diddy close his mouth?
Have you noticed that some people just, for whatever reason, they just can't close their mouth.
Their teeth, their mouth.
Bill Clinton's like that.
Flies go into the mouth.
He looks like a drool.
And finally he's walking around with his kids.
And what they're doing is they're going to find out he doesn't have anything.
Remember when they said the Kardashians were billionaires?
Oh, stop it.
Stop it.
Not even close.
Not even close.
And the folks who are...
Do you have no idea how much I love it?
And I love these tough guy thugs.
Oh, you're a thug, huh?
Yeah, oh, okay.
You want to spend your life?
Let's see if you can do Lewisburg, do 10, 20 years standing on your head like a lot of the old wise guys.
Seriously.
In the old days, the real, real, honest to God, gangster mafiosi.
They thought about going to prison and was like, well, it's a rite of passage.
That's what you do.
That's the...
I think you do ten years.
Ten years!
And it was their life.
It was the life.
Ask Suge Knight how you're doing.
How do you like that, Suge?
Being a gangsta!
This is, you had something going great, but no, no, you had to be the tough guy.
You had to be, you know, I'm from the hood, and okay.
Or as he's saying in Swedish, in the hood.
And he had to be the tough guy, and I'm shooting this in my gut.
Have you ever heard this nonsense?
This, this, one of the most stupid, stupid.
It doesn't even make any sense.
Crips and bloods, what are you doing?
Talk to the Lucchese's.
Talk to the...
You want to be a gangster?
There was a time when they said we're into, you know, loan sharking, shylocking, prostitution, drugs, construction, labor, unions, everything.
Stolen goods.
They weren't just shooting each other just because we're gangstas.
I'm a gangsta.
Shooting was the last thing they did, but oh, no, no, not him.
And then Tupac.
And you know, they never really said, Diddy, do you know anything about that?
Lori Cuck knows.
She says, the news is crazy.
Kat says they drug in Wendy.
Now, you're talking like this?
Lori, you're talking like this?
Huh?
Lori, don't talk like this.
Wouldn't it be funny if you went to the doctor and you said, Doctor?
Yes.
Did you look at that biopsy?
I say to hold this on the right.
What?
What?
I'm keeping it real.
What are you talking about?
I don't want you to keep it real.
You're a doctor.
Who was it when Al Sharpton had things like keeping it real?
What does that mean?
Notice how Sharpton is nowhere to be found?
He is so...
He is gone.
Okay.
Ah.
I'm not.
I mean, it is, who, these are morons!
Fake for whatever it's worth.
And by the way, Diddy, Diddy and Fitty, can you believe this?
What have happened to Old Stupid Bastard?
What's his name?
Old Bastard?
Old Dirty Bastard?
Old Stupid Idiot?
Whatever it is.
Lori's gonna, Lori, Lori, Lori Cook.
Keeping it real.
I'm just going to do this.
I'm just going to take on this affect.
I'm going to be old, effed up, whatever it is.
I'm just going to wear glasses, sunglasses all the time and speak like some old jazz.
You know, remember the old Blind Lemon Pledge, like some old blues guy, just talking about that stone in the rain.
Talking about that stone in the rain.
Okay, that's terrific.
He's a great doctor, by the way.
Just do it, all of a sudden, and just see if it works.
How does it...
And you know what?
You find yourself saying, well, they...
He certainly has a tremendous talent.
What?
What?
You know my favorite on YouTube now is the Crypt Dance.
The Crypt Dance and Zauli.
I'm into this dance.
All YouTube now is dancing.
Have you seen that Zauli dancing, that African dancing?
That's my favorite.
The rest, you can just have it.
But there's the Crypt Dance.
How about...
I love a lover.
That's no good.
The crip dance.
So there's a guy who does this weird, not weird, he does a kind of a country, I didn't know there was a crip dance.
Have you seen, am I just speaking gibberish here?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Apparently not.
Because I can tell you're saying, I don't know what he's talking about.
I don't know what he's talking about.
He was talking about something, but I don't know.
Anyway, there's this guy, you've seen him with a beard, and he does this dance like cloggers, and it happens to be exactly the same as this crypt dance.
I'm hooked on it.
But here's the best thing.
It's stupid.
It's the most stupid life I've ever seen.
What are you...
What is this?
With the gun and the money and the gold?
What?
You're putting all of yours in gold?
You're wearing it?
Who is that guy here in New York?
The watcher, Jacob?
Have you ever seen this?
Jacob the Jewelry.
They take these beautiful watches.
Beautiful, beautiful Paddock relief Rolex.
And they ruin it by putting diamonds on it.
I mean, it's stupid.
Gold.
What is this?
This is it?
I'm sorry.
Somebody's got to say it.
Not everybody is, by the way.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not everybody.
I'm sorry I'm old school.
I don't understand this.
All I know is...
There was a tough daddy, and all he had to do was just say, you know what?
I don't have to do this.
This is the part.
Maybe, ladies, maybe you can help me with this.
Maybe it's me.
Why don't you just, if you have this incredible money, and people are throwing money at you all the time, Why do you have to?
Why, because of your own demented perversion, must you hurt women, abuse them, threaten them, traffic?
You don't have to do this.
But they're demented because of the power of it.
You think R. Kelly would have been kind of a hint?
And let me also tell you something.
Did he?
Look what they did to Epstein.
You're nowhere in his category.
Nowhere.
Nowhere.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
See, they can kill you.
And people would say, well, where are you going?
There's not going to be a lot of vigils.
They're not going to be...
I don't think there's going to be any flyovers.
I don't think there's going to be a lot of flags at half-mast.
But this was the guy who was friends with everybody.
And they whacked him.
In front of everybody.
And you think you're special?
They're setting you up.
And they're building this story.
You're the only one where they raid your house, take your stuff, and don't arrest you.
What did they take?
And who's worried?
Who?
Now, here's the best part.
How many of you folks think that they seized the evidence and that they're worried about it falling into the wrong hands?
Anybody?
Who do you think Diddy had?
On the cameras.
Who?
Compared to Epstein.
Epstein had the biggest names in the world.
It's a little different.
Okay?
It's a little different.
That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh, I love this story.
I just love this.
Love it.
And you know what?
Maybe one day there'll be some form of justice.
Okay?
And speaking of justice, how do you think old Fannie Willis is doing?
Old Fannie.
Old Fannie.
And Wade, I miss those stories.
I miss that.
Let me also tell you something.
Got a hell of a lawyer in that, Ashley Merchant.
That's a lawyer.
Then you've got Alina Haba.
This is the other one.
This is Trump's lawyer here.
Oh, look, I'm on St. Bart's.
It's my 40th birthday.
I'm hot.
Don't you think I'm hot?
No, no, seriously.
How are you as a lawyer?
I don't care about that.
But I'm hot.
Here's me with my girls, hanging with my girls, love my girls.
Here's my Instagram.
Do you think I'm hot?
Do you?
Do you?
Imagine Clarence Darrow or, you know.
Philip Corboy, one of the great trial lawyers, this, Racehorse Haynes, do you think I'm hot?
Am I hot?
And there's Ashley Merchant.
And you know what she does?
Nothing.
She has an Instagram account that's private.
Ladies and gentlemen, Smiling Sue says, fart rap Mr. L. I don't even know what that means.
What does that even mean?
I gotta do a fart rap?
You know what?
You know what?
You might.
You might.
You might make me.
You know what?
Maybe.
Maybe.
I can see it.
I can all of a sudden come on and just speak unintelligible, kind of like a cross between John Lee Hooker and Moms Mabley and Jerry Clower.
How?
So-and-say-don't-don't-right.
He say-don't-don't-talk-about-don't-don't-right.
More Biden, more Trump.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah.
The biggest thing right now, kids are walking around, how does he do it?
It's the sign.
All over the place.
I'm losing my mind today, my friends.
I'm losing my mind.
I'm losing my mind.
I went into a CVS today.
Oh my God.
And this isn't a bad one.
This is a very nice man.
There's a very nice man who walks around with a mask on, but he really tries to be a nice guy.
And I actually sat down and wrote a letter.
A letter.
A note to CVS, the hierarchy.
Of course, you'll never hear about it.
But there's a fellow who is standing there.
Now, CVS, they're losing everything, right?
They're losing everything.
There's...
Constantly, people running out.
So they hired security.
So here's this guy.
He looks like he's 20 years old.
And he's standing there with his shirt that says security.
So how many of you got on his phone doing this?
I'm thinking, what is this?
What is this thing here?
What is this?
Have you ever been to a CVS?
Mrs. L goes there.
I don't know how she does it.
She has like 9,000...
But not really.
She just does this thing.
He said, put the number in.
All of a sudden, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
It's like we end up, and they end up paying us money, theoretically.
Have you ever sat there?
Have you ever been here and say, please put it in the bagging area?
And you always get it wrong.
Is this the bagging area, or is that the bagging area?
I don't know which, is that the, I think, no, that's the area where the bags are, but is that, no, this must be, no, and that's just the, that's just the ledge.
So you put this stuff there, and all of a sudden, ding, ding, ding, waiting for a customer, and this guy walks up.
He's got the key, and I said, could you help me out?
And he comes up, doing the old, oh, you too, huh?
Okay, fine.
So he corrects it, thank you very much.
And this is where we are, and I'm thinking, these poor people are going to this place to help me check out so that he doesn't have to.
I mean, he's basically walking me over to the gallows, his gallows.
It's so sad.
Stand by for a second, my friends.
Remember when we were talking about Baltimore, one of the problems associated with that is all of the supplies that have been lost.
Supplies that are responsible for, this is important, for things like food production and the like.
So listen carefully.
Let's talk about a very serious subject.
Emergency food.
That's right.
Emergency food.
Now I know at first blush it's difficult for most people to think about something that they just take for granted.
Ever reaching, you know, emergency status.
We're used to stores always being open, deliveries always made, no supply chain disasters, no ransomware catastrophes, you know, shutting down gas stations, no trucking strikes, no war, no protests from farmers, no mysterious Chinese weather balloons, nothing!
Nothing catastrophic in terms of weather.
Well, that can't happen to us, right?
And I understand it's a defense mechanism that we have because the idea of ever not being able to eat or locate food is seemingly incomprehensible to most people.
But think about this.
It's not.
That's why it's time for you to go to my site, preparewithlionel.com.
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Do you remember, my friends, can we do a little memory lane?
Because these kids today don't know.
Do you remember what it was like to go to the drugstore?
Now we go to the CVS, right?
The CVS.
It's just not...
Do you remember a drugstore?
Where you would go and they had this man wearing like a white...
This guy, Mr. So-and-so, behind the druggist.
And maybe...
Maybe they had a place where you could get a sandwich.
They had like a counter.
Remember that?
You could go to the drugstore and eat at the drugstore.
They have a fountain.
There was this place, which I remember as a kid, I never thought anything of it, but they had like a fountain drinks.
People don't know that.
The syrup and the fizz, I mean, that was completely, completely different.
That was a real soda, and it was a soda jerk.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember when you would go and you would take your film and sometimes it'd be like, come back next week.
You'd say, what?
Then it was an hour.
And every picture counted.
Everyone counted.
You didn't want to waste it.
You don't have 7,500, like Norm MacDonald said, Norm MacDonald said, you have 7,500 pictures of your...
Did you ever go and did you ever get the wrong pictures?
Did you ever go and they say, ah, did you get them?
They always have the negatives in case you want to get a copy.
Did you ever do that?
I kept all the negatives.
What am I going to do with it?
Is this the one?
What am I going to work on?
A jeweler's piece.
Is this the one?
That's a nice picture.
Why don't you get a copy of that?
We'll go through the negatives.
Is that it?
I don't know.
I can't tell.
You never get copies made.
You just, you know, maybe you get prints.
Maybe.
But don't ask this guy because that's not their main thing.
But sometimes you'd get the wrong one.
Who does?
Remember this one?
Red eyes.
Look at skeptic.
Red eyes.
Yes.
Red eyes.
And remember when you would sometimes get the wrong picture, and just for a second, just for a second, you would say to yourself, oh my god, I don't remember taking these pictures.
Who were these people?
Was I in a coma?
Was I perhaps kidnapped?
Maybe a circus family.
I don't remember these people.
Just for a second.
It doesn't take a long time.
And then you go back and say, excuse me, I don't think, but I do like this picture of whatever it was.
How about if you go there sometimes and remember they have price checks, price control?
And there was a thing?
Yes.
Hi, could you please?
Is it?
Oh, let me see.
Hang on.
Price check.
Yeah.
Anal itch cream.
Large size.
I'll get this.
Please don't.
I'll give you $20.
Just put this down.
Yeah.
Anal itch.
Price check.
Anal itch cream.
Large with the applicator.
Is this with the applicator?
Just put it down.
Please, I'll give you the money.
Just stop.
Carla, the cooking CEO, says, can't stand self-checkout.
I would rather wait in line, even if it's long.
Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of people, so Instacart and Farmer's Market are my favorites.
You know what's funny?
Instacart's okay.
I like...
I love Whole Foods.
Oh, they're the best!
And in New York, that's all they are.
Thank you, Carla.
I love to go.
First of all, I just love food shopping.
I love it.
I love it.
I have my favorite place.
I got Mr. Henry in the produce.
I like him.
I like my lady in the deli.
I'm saying, can you get the black olives, the calamitas?
Have you bought black olives of color?
Pardon me.
I don't want to be racist, but black calamita olives.
How about walnuts?
Forget buying...
People say they're buying Birkin bags for like $500,000.
Buy walnuts.
They're like...
Organic?
Forget it.
Walnuts.
I gotta have that in the oatmeal.
But I know Mr. Henry in the...
I know these people.
Mr. Henry.
There's another young man I've known.
He's probably older than I am.
But he is...
I think he is...
I think if you looked at him, you would say he's special, special learning.
You know what I mean?
But he'd been there forever.
Known him forever at this one place.
And it's very nice because in a city like New York, when you get to know people, but he's been in the hood forever.
And the other day he was there and he was complaining.
I thought to myself, here's this...
And, you know, you think he's...
We used to use words like slow.
Like we had a relative in the family saying, well, you know, he's slow.
What do you mean?
Well, what do you mean slow?
Well, he's just not...
You mean he's not fast?
No, no, I don't mean...
I mean, he's, you know, he's...
Before they were like special, it's just slow.
It's just slow.
Good God.
Bless his heart, but he's slow.
Well, this one guy is slow.
At least so I thought.
So he was there one day when they had this one with the newspapers.
They got the New York Post, which is eh.
Daily News, complete liberal right.
And the New York Times, toilet paper.
So here's like this.
Here's a guy that I thought was slow.
So he holds up the Daily Mail and his Daily News.
He goes, look at this.
I can't take this.
Did you ever read this?
It's garbage.
I'm thinking he gets it.
And we had like this.
We understood.
We understood.
Then there's this...
I love these.
I know these people.
Very nice.
How are you?
And Mrs. Ellis, everybody, Happy Easter!
She's telling everybody Easter.
Easter.
Easter.
He is risen!
Christian!
We're just telling people this.
Whether you believe it or not, because it's like, it's Easter, damn it.
Easter.
You got it?
He is risen!
You got that?
Okay, fine.
So anyway, what the hell was I even saying?
Oh, so anyway, we're talking, we're doing this stuff, and I just love these stories because I know the people.
There's this one girl, poor thing, She doesn't say anything.
She's very thin.
And she wears a mask that almost covers her entire face.
Still wears a mask.
And she has, you know, those Cardi B, those lenses, they look like Flossie.
You know, they're like, you know, like when they have like, in the old days they had these cartoons, like cows.
You know, like Flossie.
Remember that?
Yeah, the eyelashes.
But what was the one?
It was Flossie, was Elsie the cow or Elsie?
You know, with the big flashy, like sometimes you see them on cars.
You know, like they have a Volkswagen with those little lashes.
Yeah, they're eyelashes.
But these are the biggest Cardi B lashes.
And I'm just mesmerized.
Mesmerized by this.
Oh, how about this?
You're going to love this one.
How about when you go there, it's like, here's my rule.
Okay?
Very simple.
When you go there, I'm ready to go.
I got my Apple Pay.
Boop!
That's it.
Or, if I don't have it, I got the card.
Boop!
That's it.
Either you tap it, or I'm out of there.
You got it?
Here's the rule.
And the only exception is if you're an old grandmother type, and that's, alright, I'll give you a pass.
Because old grandmothers, I just, my melt.
They can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned.
But here's the one that kills me.
Here's this lady.
How much is that, please?
It'll be $12.38.
$12.38.
And she takes out, she's got a pocketbook.
Got a purse.
She's got a pocketbook.
And she takes out the old thing and she unsnaps it.
She's got every Card.
Just like old men who have wallets.
They have everything in there.
Their mortgage.
DD-214.
Pictures of all of their kids.
Big wallets they can't close.
Now let's see here.
God damn it!
Now normally you would say okay fine you pay for it.
You should say get out of the line.
But no.
They got to put it back in the wallet.
Snap it.
Make sure.
You hear that noise?
Back into the pocketbook.
Over their shoulder.
Take their little basket.
I'm going to just...
Speed.
I need speed.
Move along.
God.
Remember, did you ever see somebody pay with a check?
There was an order.
People would pay with a check.
And when we were kids, there was no checking anything.
No pun intended.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Do you remember when they had the woman?
There is a YouTube.
Please find this.
It's a customer care piece on how to be a checkout person.
It's from the 50s.
It's the most beautiful thing in the world.
Stand by for a second.
Because I like selling things, too.
And I still love this man.
You know who I love.
You know who I love.
I love this man.
You know who I love, right?
You know who I love, right?
You know who I love.
That's right.
Well, it's time yet again to hail and salute our great friends at MyPillow.com.
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Simply and absolutely.
The best.
Let me ask you very quickly.
Very quickly.
Alright?
Because you've piqued my curiosity.
I have some levels of fascination and I love stores.
There's a place, a wonderful place.
It's a I don't know if I should.
Yeah, I'll mention it.
Yeah, I'll mention it.
It's a wonderful place.
I shouldn't mention it because maybe somebody doesn't like me but it's like they're Middle Eastern but the name is like glory be to God it's a name like that from sea to shining sea it's got flags and it's real American and it's a real New York You know, a little deli.
Anybody in New York know something called chopped cheese?
Nope.
That's like one of these real interesting things.
Like if you go to Jersey, you get a Rutz Hut.
How about an Italian hot dog?
Things like these weird things.
These things that you have based upon your city.
That they only have in your city.
Now let me ask you something.
What is the name of the place?
What is the name of your...
This may sound so stupid.
You're going to say, what is he talking about?
I love this.
What is the name of your favorite store that you go to?
And you actually like it.
You know where everything is.
You know where all the roads are.
Because to me, food shopping is the best.
Everything else, big boars, the hell out of me.
What is the head cheese sandwiches?
What is the name of your store?
Okay?
What is the name of the place you go?
Publix.
See, that, growing up in Florida, where shopping is a pleasure.
They were out of Lakeland.
The Jennings, I think it's a Jennings family?
Asda?
What the hell is that?
Wayne's Market.
Look at this, Lord.
Now, that could be a big thing.
I don't know.
Wayne's Market.
Wayne.
Market Basket.
Don't you love these?
I love these names.
I'd love to go to...
How do I say this?
If I went to your town...
I like different chains, different places.
Star Market.
Everybody's got their place.
I remember when I went to a...
There was a Kroger's on the West Coast.
I thought, this is the most...
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
They had a Starbucks inside, a piano player.
Then Wegmans.
People were going nuts over Wegmans.
And then Whole Foods came along.
And Publix used to be the place.
Do you know Publix is like a church in Florida?
Oh, absolutely.
I remember when I was a kid...
My mother, Publix on Hillsboro.
That was it.
I mean, we were there so...
We had Mr. Hayes, the manager.
We knew all this stuff.
It was, she just...
It was...
Let me tell you what Publix did.
This is really good.
Fred Meyer was Kroger.
I didn't know that.
A&P?
Kind of A&P.
I like Acme.
I like Acme's store.
See, in this area we have Acme.
ShopRite's another one.
What's the other one?
Acme, ShopRite, Whole Foods, Stop and Shop, a little variations.
Please help me with this.
I can't get into Trader Joe's.
I can't get into Trader Joe's.
Is it me?
Who else?
I wish them nothing but the best.
I wish them nothing, but I can't do it.
I just...
Now, there's a place, two places in Jersey that are wonderful.
One is a Chinese place that I swear to you, I think these Chinese folks bought the whole block.
It is so, I mean, you walk in, it smells like fish.
But they've got real raw, you know, not raw fish, but they've got fish in containers.
They've got plants and things and bags and I mean legit, legit Chinese.
It is incredible.
Then up the street, when I say up the street, Indian.
And I mean...
What blows me away about the Indian, this got me, was all the candies.
Candy.
The little candies.
The little snacks, candies, chips.
Unbelievable.
I swear to you, I've never seen anything like it.
Then there was a place that closed.
It was in Clifton.
It was all for...
Kosher was a big Jewish community there.
Big Orthodox.
So it was kosher.
A lot of stuff from Israel and different kosher different colored sponges and you know that kind of stuff.
Same thing too for nuts.
Nuts like you cannot believe.
Nuts every conceivable.
I mean if you want nuts that's the place to go.
I love that.
I love that.
There's something about this store.
Anyway, go back to Publix.
So what Publix did a while back was, I think I told you this, they hired, I think they hired special kids, special, you know, downs kids that do things, but they hired old people, retired, who worked their ass off, wore a little tie.
They wore a tie with any shirt.
They could wear a flannel shirt, but with a tie.
And they were, you can't tip, but they were bag boys.
They were the best.
Who remembers, of course, I don't want to go through the whole Morrison's thing, but this was the most beautiful thing in the world.
These were ex-Pullman porters wearing white starched, these were black Pullman porters who were waiters at a cafeteria.
And I told people, you're being scammed.
This is a cafeteria.
They don't wait.
They carry a tray three feet.
What are you talking about?
No!
It's the pageantry and these fine gentlemen.
I know they're fine gentlemen, but they're conning you.
It's a cafeteria.
They don't do anything.
They drop the dinner, see you, and they're out.
Anyway, somebody came up one day and said, this is terrible.
Oh, these black people.
What about it?
What is this, vestige of the South?
I don't know what I'm on it.
Oh, what is this?
What is this, the plantation?
This is when I was a kid, and the first time I got a hold of, I started to hear this kind of this, not DEI, but this hypersensitive nonsense.
I couldn't believe it.
And I was a kid.
And then we're saying, I'm thinking, well, what's wrong with that?
Because, believe it or not, growing up in the South, and Florida is the South, we were far more, black folks were no, I never thought anything of it.
We had blacks, Cubans, Italians.
I was born in Ybor City, where we had, everybody was there.
I didn't understand it.
And I'll never forget, they just, it just didn't look right.
And they were old men from a time where they were into service and they were accommodating.
And they would say things like, you know, that show nuff, you know, and people would think it was demeaning.
It's like, they're getting tipped.
It was honorable.
But it was because of this guilt, this white, super silliest sense of, I know better than you and I'm not going to be a...
Part of this, you know, this anachronistic race.
I swear to God, that was my first time I said, I don't get it.
What's wrong with it?
Somebody tell me.
I know I'm a kid.
How many kids read Little Black Sambo?
I remember the book.
I didn't think anything of it.
Oh, it's terrible.
Why?
Well, what about it?
Well, he's black.
Uh-huh.
And what?
Aunt Jemima.
Remember that?
All our lives.
Aunt Jemima.
What?
She didn't miss Aunt Jemima.
Betty Crocker.
What the hell's the difference?
Why isn't Betty Crocker some white nationalist bastion?
This is when we first started to hear this bullshit, and I couldn't understand it.
I don't get it.
This is when it all because people felt better.
They were virtue signaling.
Look how I feel for these people.
What?
We couldn't get it.
I remember one time saying when I was I am and was a purveyor of the How do I say this?
Well, barbecue.
And barbecue is, to me, barbecue is like pizza.
Seems simple enough, but it's not.
And they're all different.
And if you...
When I grew up, and I was a kid, you never...
I mean, it wasn't in her.
You went to the projects.
And you went to Moses White, Bexley's, Big Tim's in East Hillsboro.
It was black.
The Blue Flame, right in the middle.
These places called The Projects.
The Blue Flame was it.
Everybody went there.
There was no...
That's where it was.
When you wanted to go to Chinese food, guess what?
Black folks had the best barbecue.
That's it.
Nobody even tried.
Nobody even...
If you want to go to West Tampa, you want Cuban food?
You go over there.
This is just simple.
We never thought anything of it.
Race and ethnicity were to be cherished.
It was fun.
It was neat.
You want to go to Greek?
Go to Tarpon Springs.
That's where the Greeks are.
It's not like here.
Here in New York, I can take you to a story.
I can take you to whatever it is.
But it's the same thing.
I want to go back to the time when we celebrate this.
Seriously.
It's just the most...
I think in retrospect, that did more to affect my sense of...
Oh, Uncle Ben.
We always joke, you know, it's like our grandfather.
Uncle Ben looks just like him.
I never thought anything about it.
I never, I never, until you told me it, it, these are the worst racist, forget this DEI business.
They made black folks feel like if ever they're made special.
Oh, blue plate specials.
There was a place we used to go called Doe Al.
D-O-E dash A-L.
I don't know what the hell they were in the name.
And they had them on St. Pete Beach.
We were in law school at the time.
And, oh, we had some greats.
Oh, great places.
Because the law school was right there on the beach.
I mean, it's just, it was great.
There was a place called Ted Peter's Smoked Fish.
They had smoked mackerel.
It was mackerel.
Or a mullet.
I like the mackerel.
They had German potato salad.
And they had cheeseburgers and this.
And this smoke.
Still there.
Unbelievable.
And they would bring you beer.
Sometimes with a glass.
Sometimes plastic.
And sometimes when they would mix them up.
And after a few drinks.
You would grab your beer.
Thinking it was the heavy mug.
And you end up going like that.
And it flies.
Anyway.
There was a place down the street called Doelle.
Two black ladies.
If you liked Brunswick stew, never had it before, loved it.
If they liked, if you liked what they did, they'd give you more.
And I said, no, no, we don't have to go.
No, no, no.
It was like nothing you've ever seen before.
It was like nothing you've ever seen.
We lose this.
There was a place in Queens years ago.
I think it's the funkiest thing.
It was a Czech beer garden.
I think it was in Queens.
They had these trees.
You can't believe it.
I think it was Czech.
I think.
Who the hell knows?
Every now and then there's beer halls.
I love what makes us all kind of different.
I love that stuff.
I celebrate it.
And I like it.
And believe it or not, this may sound crazy, sometimes I'll go there because, oh, oh, listen to this.
Recently we went to, we have a friend of ours who's Chinese.
Chinese!
China, China, Chinese.
Ah, she says Hong Kong.
Whatever, though.
I guess that's better.
I don't know.
I just say Chinese.
And I said, take us to a place that's real Chinese, where Chinese folks go.
Not this, you know, nonsense, but I mean real Chinese.
And she's Chinese.
Okay.
And she was ordering for us.
Loved it.
With that circular thing in the middle.
Oh my.
Because they were Chinese.
And I said, I want you to be Chinese.
I want to go with Chinese people and Chinese food.
I don't want to go someplace.
Is that racist?
No!
It's like, that's okay.
There's a French place.
There's a place still in Hell's Kitchen.
It's been there forever.
You know, the husband and wife kind of own the thing.
Same thing.
They're French.
That's okay.
But as soon as you mention black, oh, no, no.
Now you've gone too far.
I hate that.
I hate that.
You have no idea.
And it is so, that's racist.
Because deep down inside, well, I know.
Look, it's never going to change.
You know it and I know it, okay?
We can't even joke about stuff.
We can't even joke about things that are so obvious.
But anyway, in any event, Easter's coming up, my friends.
It's Sunday.
And Easter is about He is risen, okay?
Now, I don't care.
I'm a retired Catholic.
I'm telling you right now.
But Easter...
For the Catholics, completely different than for the Protestants.
I've got these friends of ours, young people, and they're kind of checking out churches.
They kind of like some Catholic stuff.
They say, well, if you want to know the Catholic thing, by the way, it makes sense, but you've got to understand a little bit about the mentality versus Protestant.
And people do not understand it, and the real, the real The gravamen is Easter.
Protestants love he is risen.
That's why the Protestant church always has the empty cross.
He's risen.
Catholics, he's on the cross.
It's a crucifix.
He suffered for you.
He died for you.
The passion of the Christ.
The Passion.
We have Stations of the Cross in a Catholic Church, not in Protestants.
It's a completely different thing.
Both Christianity, both valid, but a different mindset, a different kind of take.
Plus a lot of bit on Mary and other stuff too, and the saints.
Because I think no matter what anybody says, I never regretted, never, growing up in a Catholic school, parochial school, never.
I learned how to think because the stories were incredible and that made me say, what?
What?
That got me going.
When we're done tonight and you're thinking about stuff, ask yourself what parts of your life were critical in changing and creating who you were?
What parts of your life, what developmental moments were critical in your development?
That's all I'm going to say.
Now, Mrs. L. Has got some unbelievable stuff for her YouTube channel.
She interviewed today a retired NYPD cyber crime expert.
Now he's called a protector.
Incredible interviews.
And another one where she describes how New York is basically wanting to legalize human trafficking.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, it sounds...
It may sound a little bit like...
No.
So go to LensWarriors.
L-Y-N-N-S Warriors.
All one word.
L-Y-N-N-S.
No E. I don't know why people do that.
That's what people say.
Lionel.
What is that about?
Lionel.
Rhymes with vinyl.
Lionel.
Isn't that good?
Doctor, could you help me?
I just can't stop it.
Moments of intimacy are virtually impossible because of this uncontrollable fleetus.
Help me.
Can you help me?
Anyway, Lens Warriors, please.
And then on X or X, on Twitter, Lens, L-Y-N-N-S, underscore warrior.
Can you help me?
Please, I ask you.
I've always wanted to be an astronaut, but the spacesuit, think about it.
Alright, my friends.
That's right.
I'm a child.
I have the sense of humor of a child.
So, Pam and Jack Murphy, thank you so much.
Lori Cook.
Lori?
Look at this.
Lori even says, the news is crazy.
Kat says they drug in Wendy.
I like it.
I like that patois.
Poor Wendy Williams.
With the Graves disease and that...
Proptosis and exophthalmia.
Those bug eyes.
Smiling Sue.
Fart rap, Mr. L. I like that.
And Carla, the cooking CEO.
Thank you.
I'd like to hear more about your cooking stuff.
LJ Jackson says, Incredible sickness and hospital urges.
He's changed me and my life forever.
I weathered many natural storms before the man-made one showed up.
Wow!
Incredible sickness and hospital urgencies.
Thank you, LJ.
You know there's these hospitals called nosocomial.
I remember when I was 13 years old and they said I had a diverticulum on my bladder.
It must have been congenital.
And I had a catheter.
When I got out of the body, they really cut me up real good.
I was a mess.
And they said, we have to take you on a ride on this wheelchair.
And I said, what?
Wheelchair?
I'm not moving.
I'm in such pain.
A molecule of hydrogen, an atom, I was in pain.
And they'd give me the...
Drugs and everything.
I mean, it just, I was a mess.
Thirteen years old, just chopped, been through a control stabbing.
They said, well, if we don't do this, we're going to have to put you on a, put a needle in your lungs to get your fluid out.
I said, so where's that, where's that, where's that wheelchair?
I'm calling that wheelchair right now.
And as you know, when they have a catheter in you, and the catheter has a little balloon, they inflate with saline to keep it from sliding up.
They also had a drain, but then also a little balloon is inflated so you can't pull it up.
So I'm in it, and they have the bag next to you, the catheter bag, and they have all this long tubing, and they kind of shove it on the side.
So as I'm being wheeled about, On the eighth floor of St. Joseph's Hospital in the pediatric ward, I noticed this bit of a tugging, and all of a sudden it yanked.
It was in the axle of the wheelchair.
And I grabbed the wheel, the wheels to stop it, and in a scene reminiscent of that horrible, Last moment of Godfather when Michael Correone did the howl.
They picked me up.
They actually had orderlies.
Remember orderlies?
Team Alaska is a new member.
Welcome, team.
Thank you so much.
They actually picked up the wheelchair so there'd be no more tangling.
Took me back to my room and gave me some of the sweetest drugs anybody I knew right away that this was serious.
Drugs are great when you need them, but man, I could get used to that.
I mean, I was 13 years old.
Imagine having a monkey moment.
You know, man, sometimes he's like that.
He's 13 years old.
He talks like that.
Like a blues man.
So, that taught me the beauty of peeing.
Being able to pee.
I don't know if it sounds terrible, but if you can pee, like Hyman Ross said, you pay a million dollars if you can pee.
Little things like that.
Little things about when you go to a hospital, leave your money and your pride at the door.
Little things like that.
Now, it wasn't lethal.
It wasn't something that threatened me, but I shan't forget that.
I shan't forget that.
So, isn't that great?
Don't you love this?
I'll tell you some other great stuff.
I got some great, wonderful catheter stories.
Really good stuff.
Really good.
Still, you've got to admit, if you were sitting in a waiting room or in church, I mean, you would think, oh, God, you sick.
Like you could have any control over it.
All right, dear friends, have a great and a glorious night.
Happy Easter in advance.
We'll see you tomorrow at 8 a.m.
Don't forget, Mrs. L, please, I ask you, do me and her a favor.
You'll be so glad you did.
LinzWarriors on YouTube.
All right, dear friend.
See you tomorrow.
Don't ever change.
I mean that sincerely.
Until then, remember, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
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