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Jan. 24, 2024 - Lionel Nation
59:24
Joy Reid — MSDNC Resident Cretin
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future.
Dear friends, one of the things I so enjoy doing, aside from the incredible honor that I feel in being next to you, And being side by side and leading you down the path of revelation is to point out something you don't know.
To point out something, to be the docent.
The docent as we traipse and perambulate up and through the museum of life.
And I say, did you know this?
Did you notice this?
Here's something you probably didn't notice.
I like facts.
I like when somebody brings up something which I never thought about before.
Do you know that when you ask somebody a question if I were to say to you who was in the world pound for pound the most famous Athlete of all time in terms of the percentage of the people who knew this person, who was aware of this person, the impact on the world stage.
Who was the greatest, greatest bar none athlete?
That pound for pound in terms of a quantitative measurement, the absolute value, the impact, the magnitude, who was it?
Americans will say things like Muhammad Ali or Jack Dempsey.
Pele.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Oh, I see.
Yes.
Oh, I see.
Yes, yes.
Soccer?
Ride.
Soccer?
Ride.
Football?
Ride.
If I were to tell you, pound for pound, line it up.
The entertainer who probably was the biggest.
You know, EGOT's good, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony.
But kind of in that category, who do you think was?
Charlie Chaplin, maybe?
Perhaps, sort of?
No, no.
The Beatles?
Not even close.
Because you always put things in terms of your own perspective.
Bing Crosby.
Bing Crosby.
Monster.
Radio.
Motion picture.
Musicals.
Sheet music!
Nobody!
Bing Crosby!
Can't touch him!
Bing Crosby!
Bing Crosby!
So I'd like to bring out facts to you and show you, do you see what's happening?
I bring this out.
I do this a lot.
And many times people admittedly will say, I don't get it.
I talk about the Cat Williams thing.
You don't get it.
You're not seeing it.
You're not...
It's not...
It's not what you're about because you dismiss it as, oh, that's something I don't know.
He's some black offensive comic.
That I don't know.
No, no, no.
That's in your white world.
Your suburban or whatever it is.
I don't say white disparately.
I guess I'm white.
I'm more of a beige.
But still.
No, no.
I'm able to lift up from it.
I'm able to look and say, no, no, no, no, no.
This is it.
I ask people all the time, do you know what one of the most important Broadway musicals ever that made more money than you could ever imagine?
People will say Cats and Phantom of the Opera.
Wicked.
Wicked.
The amount of merchandise and the number of people who see it five, six, seven times.
These numbers, nobody knows anything about this.
They don't get it.
NASCAR.
I go on and I go on and I go on and I explain this to you.
I tell you this.
I tell you this.
You're missing the...
Jackie Robinson.
Buster Keaton?
No!
You're just throwing names out!
You haven't given this any thought.
Worldwide?
Bob Hope?
Bob Hope is a little closer.
You see what people do?
They don't think.
With all due respect, you just throw things out.
Oh, here's a name.
John Lennon?
Vladimir Lennon?
Leonid Lennon?
No!
No!
Now when I also tell you one of the things which I remind you of is the greatest thing that I've ever been a part of that I've seen that taught me everything is professional wrestling.
You still don't get the professional wrestling part.
You still don't understand the business of it.
The business.
The psychology.
Where it started.
How it works.
You're getting a little bit of this in some of the shoot stuff, though sometimes some of the performers are not the most verbally equipped.
So I want to tell you about something that happened the other day that was sheer unmitigated genius.
Genius.
Genius!
Joy Reid.
And how the Megyn Kellys fly over.
Megyn Kelly looks, she's the vulture.
She looks for something that's sick, dying, or dead.
And then swoops in.
And lets other people do the work while she, and I guess to an extent, to be fair, we all kind of do that.
You know, we really do.
But she just swoops around because she's just trying somehow so she can say, okay, what do I do?
What do I do?
Anybody say anything stupid?
Can I be real bitchy and snarky?
Which, by the way, is her shtick.
That's her angle.
That's her spot.
Bring in the heat.
These are all wrestling.
Wrestling is this.
And then all of a sudden, somebody comes along and says, watch me do this.
Watch me do this.
I'm going to tell you one quick story before we begin.
But first, first, I want to remind you.
Can't say this enough.
Can't say it enough.
February 3rd.
February the 3rd, my friend.
February the 3rd.
What?
Where?
What am I talking about?
That's right.
The Cutting Room.
I'm going to be at The Cutting Room in New York City for a show that Cat Williams doesn't do.
Dave Chappelle doesn't do.
Nobody ever does this.
Nobody ever involves the audience.
The audience is kind of like the necessary evil.
The audience is heckling.
No, no, no, no, no.
February 3rd.
That's exactly right.
And that's why most important, listen to me very carefully, it's this.
That's where you get the tickets.
You better hurry up.
Don't get late.
You save money.
Show by the day of it, you got to spend more money.
Come on!
And also, you get to meet all of our like-minded people.
That's probably the best selling point.
You get to meet people who think this, and you will not believe the diversity.
Okay?
Let me tell you a story years ago, and then we'll get to the joy reading.
Here's a go.
I was doing a thing on WABC, and I had to go, and we were going to do, we were supposed to go to Yankee Stadium.
For something, and I hate it.
I've been to Yankee Stadium like twice, three times.
I, one time, was at Yankee Stadium at the World Series and left.
I was in...
I could have been at the World Series and left.
I have no interest in this.
None!
None!
I'll go watch it on TV.
And we were behind home plate in this Vince Scully.
I was doing this ridiculous...
Don't ask me why.
I was WA...
Anyway.
So we were supposed to go out to this thing on a Sunday.
I didn't want to go, and it started to rain.
Thank God it rained.
The whole thing was raining.
I mean, it was raining.
It was one of the few deluges I've ever seen in my life.
So instead of going to Yankee Stadium, obviously, there's nobody there, I went to this studio.
And I showed up, and I said, listen, I got this crazy idea.
I asked the production guy, I said, do you have a...
Can you make me a...
We had cart machines in that.
Carts.
It was like an 8-track.
You put the cart in.
Today it's all digital, but this wasn't a tape.
Can you do a continuous loop of rain?
Can you?
He said, yeah, okay.
So he does this tape, this loop.
And when it gets to the end, because most people never went to the end of the tape, but when it got to the end, you hear this space where the...
Where the cartridge kind of ends, and then it picks up again.
So you hear, rain, rain, rain, rain, stop.
And then it picks up again.
So I started off, I said, well folks, here we are live from Yankee Stadium.
I said, I gotta tell you, I'm surprised at the lousy turnout today.
Because, you know, we're supposed to be here, and I mean, listen, I thought there'd be more team spirit, I thought there would be more team involvement, but I mean, nobody's here.
Maybe they're early.
Maybe the traffic.
Who knows?
But I'm here because, by God, I'm here.
And I'm here with my engineer who's under a tarp.
We explained that because he's exhaling carbon dioxide, he might be overcome and blah, blah, blah.
And, you know, I hope that he's not affected because, you know, the rain.
It was a rib.
It was, as we say in wrestling, it was a rib.
No, I wasn't at Yankee Stadium.
I was in the studio, but we heard...
So people called up, and the phones are going crazy.
That's certainly, you've got to understand.
It's a joke I'm doing.
It's a joke.
It's kind of like War of the Worlds.
How many times did Orson Welles tell them, I'm telling you, there's no...
This is a...
Anyway.
Somebody calls me a line, wants to go to Brooklyn.
You're on WBZ.
Well...
I hate to tell you, but they called it.
I said, who called it?
Who called it?
Wait, what are you saying?
Are you saying that the people at WABC would not have let me know this?
That they would have made me drive all the way to the Bronx to park and do this and they wouldn't have told me that?
Who are they?
Who are these they you're talking about?
Line 2 and Bensonhurst.
No, no, they called it.
Who?
There you go again with the they.
Who's they?
You got something in writing?
Did you hear anything?
He says, no.
So you're just assuming.
You're just assuming.
It was the most absurd thing you've ever heard in my life.
I thought it was kind of interesting because in a side issue, maybe it was like, you know, it's funny how a lot of times we know things are happening, but nobody really officially says it.
And this went on and on.
And I couldn't believe these people were thinking, no.
I'm telling you!
They!
I said, there you go again.
Who's he there?
The same people who do all the crime.
You know, they robbed a New Jersey police.
Who are these they?
This they.
And is there something racist behind it?
It was the most absurd thing you've ever heard in your life.
And it was brilliant.
It was absolutely brilliant.
Because it was a rib.
It was an angle.
It was a joke.
And most people knew it.
But they were listening and they're saying, oh my god.
This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life.
That's Joy Reid.
Brilliant.
Edge Dweller says, Joy is an excursion from the mental asylum.
Who's holding the permission slip?
You know, Ed, you've got a...
I like your prose.
I like your style.
Joy, who comes out with the hair, which is so funny.
You know, she says, she must go to the prop room.
Can you give me a Valkyrie helmet?
No, do you have that?
How about a fright wig?
How about...
No?
No?
Harpo marks?
Can we do that?
Steel?
Wool?
Like a...
Like a mop.
You know how I...
What's her name?
Whoopi Goldberg has like, you know, can you do that?
Can you do the blonde, the white hair, short hair, long hair, spikes?
Can we do, how about AstroTurf?
Can we put that?
So that people can say, what the hell is that?
It's genius!
Good evening, this is Joy Reid.
What the hell is that on your head?
It's brilliant!
Are you looking at this?
What is she saying?
Who the hell knows what she's saying?
What is that, a bird's nest?
What is this?
This is a nest.
I think they're foreign.
I think those are some type of chipmunks.
What is this?
It's brilliant.
Remember years ago when she said she had this website and it had some homophobic stuff in there.
She goes, well, somebody obviously came in and altered it.
He goes, no, no, no.
They did a wayback machine.
They went back in time.
And they said, no, no, this was on then.
Well, apparently these time bandits went back in time.
I mean, she's genius!
She's genius!
She's going to walk out again with a gondolier hammer, she's going to wear the, she's going to look at Sam Bankman Freed, and she looks at you like, what?
Hello, this is Joy Reid.
Joy, do you know you've got this thing on your head?
I know, what are you talking about?
Joy, no, you've got, seriously, this thing is landing?
What is this?
You're molting.
Brilliant.
What is this?
It's incredible.
I mean, and it varies.
And I never watch it until she says something stupid.
And then the fun comes in, my friend.
Well, MSDNZ host Joy Reid has been called an idiot by a lot of people, but I think she is a genius.
After criticizing the co-founder of Moms for Liberty for apparently advocating the ban featuring a graphic sex speak from school the anchor I don't know if she's progressive or whatever she's supposed to be attacked Tiffany Justice over her quote expertise in questioning the propriety of the memoir All Boys
Aren't Blue, a title that has been banned in 29 districts across the country.
Quote, what is the expertise that you have and other Moms for Liberty advocates have to decide what or that a book, an award-winning book, isn't appropriate for students to read?
And Ms. Justice responded, In what context is a strap-on dildo accepted for public school?
I mean, that's my question to you.
Wait a minute.
A what?
A strap-on dildo.
I'm reading this, ladies and gentlemen.
Please get your kids out of the room.
This is not meant for kids.
This is...
Joy Reid then refused to answer the question.
She looked like a Ryan whatever his name is.
In the kind of Barbie, that kind of surfer dude, kind of moondog wig.
I like that.
Reid refused to answer it, claiming that Justice was unable to name the author George M. Johnson.
Well, you can't even name the name.
Excuse me!
There's strap-on dildos.
Yeah, but can you name the author?
Name the author?
What the hell are you talking about?
Justice did, in fact, know the first name of the author, and she also knew the first name of Strap-on Dildo.
Okay, so Johnson's Memoir Manifesto apparently includes a chapter which deals with sexual abuse that he suffered as a child, including by a member of his own family.
And it features graphic descriptions of sex, including, and I quote, this is from the Daily Mail and others, lube dildos.
And anal penetration.
This, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for having to read.
Megyn Kelly, of course, flying over, looking for something to say, something where she can act furious over.
Saw this and said, quote, this idiot actually wanted to know what expertise Tiffany Justice had to object to minors in school reading about strap-on dildos and incestual pedophilia.
It's not pedophilia!
Again, let me try this again.
The problem is not pedophilia.
It's not that someone was attracted to young people.
It's the fact that a child was damaged.
A child was attacked, raped.
That's it.
What do you call a male rapist?
A heterosexual?
What?
This is this mindset, but it doesn't matter.
I'm wasting my time.
Reid told Ms. Justice during the interview, quote, what I am saying to you is you are not an expert in this book.
To which Ms. Justice replied, I don't have to be an expert to know that dildos are not appropriate for public schools.
I mean, come on, let's get real.
Joy Reid, not backing down, asked, well, why shouldn't a parent whose child might feel Reed asks, why shouldn't a parent whose child might feel seen by this story have the right to let them read it?
I don't know what that means.
Ms. Justice then countered with this saying, if a child feels seen by this story, that means that they have been a victim as a predator.
Reed then accused her of claiming to be an expert again.
And ask her for proof that a child had been raped.
Now a central theme of this all boys aren't blue focuses apparently on sexual abuse that the author, Mr. Johnson, experienced around the age of 13. In September, Senator John Kennedy read a passage from the memoir during a Senate Judiciary hearing.
Now, there's, I mean, listen, there's nothing funny about this, but when you hear, this one was, he quoted the book verbatim, telling the hearing quote, I'd put some lube on, I didn't want to read this, this is, this is, this is just incredible.
Now, now.
Before you recognize what this is, before you say, oh, this is terrible.
By the way, Edge says, Joy Reid gives off the vibe of one of Donald's jolted ex-girlfriends who still stalks him.
The hair is a clue.
It seems what's to say.
Thank you for that.
You're missing the point.
You're missing The point.
This is genius.
I don't care what...
You want to argue the point?
Is this appropriate?
Look, if a parent wants a kid to read that, fine.
You don't have this in a public school.
I'm sorry.
Now, if I decided I'm going to put a book, Joy, about my time in the South where I, as a white person, saw...
Black people suffer indignity.
Because I want children who feel indignity I want them to be seen.
So I put in the following dialogue.
Would you like to read it?
This is dialogue I put in of what I actually saw.
And if I wrote something which is so vile And I'm saying, wait a minute.
You're actually saying this.
Oh, no, I'm not.
No, no, no.
I heard this.
I heard this when I was a child.
And I'm trying to convey it.
No, no, no.
You're using the N-word.
No, no, that's what I heard.
No, no, that's what I heard.
Yeah, but these are expressions I've never heard.
I think you're taking...
Delight in saying this.
Oh no, not at all.
No ma 'am.
No, I'm just trying to help in case people want to be seen.
Oh what?
Nonsense.
But that's not the point.
Everybody's talking about Joy Reid.
Everybody's talking about Joy Behar.
Something about that name.
Nobody's talking about Lawrence O'Donnell.
Or that Rachel Maddow doppelganger.
I don't even know what the hell that guy's name is.
It looks like Rachel Maddow.
Nobody's talking about Rachel.
Nothing.
Thank you.
This is wrestling.
This is Cat Williams.
This is bringing heat.
Believe me, they went...
Joy Reid went back and they said, Joy, you want to sign your next three-year contract?
Thank you.
Thank you.
She's a genius.
She's an absolute genius.
And nobody gets it.
And John Kennedy, did you see that?
I can't even.
I don't even want to read this.
I don't feel comfortable.
I don't like the...
No.
And nobody gets it.
It's like me at Yankee Stadium, supposedly.
They don't get it as a joke.
They don't get it's a joke.
They don't understand it.
They don't understand it's a joke.
We did this thing one time years ago.
We had a fraternity meeting years ago.
And this guy came from, I think it was muscular dystrophy or something.
I don't know what it was.
And he was trying to get us to help.
We had to do something because we weren't doing anything at all benefiting society.
So we got together and listened to this gentleman.
It was a very nice thing.
So I was in the back.
And he said, we want to have a 24-hour dance-a-thon for whatever it was.
And I raised my hand and said, you know, I said, that's not funny.
I said, these kids can't even walk.
How the hell are they supposed to dance for 24 hours?
Man, you are sick.
And he looked and he said, no, you're going to dance.
I said, oh, oh, okay.
Now, obviously, there was this thing about, and people are going to say, oh, you're joking about kids.
No, I'm not.
I'm joking about somebody who missed the point.
Like one time we talked about, they said handicap bathrooms.
That was a big deal years ago, years ago.
Should there be handicap bathrooms?
I said, no, I want a bathroom that works.
I don't want a handicap bathroom.
I want everything there.
Faucets, toilets, the whole bit.
It's a joke.
Play on words, misunderstanding, you know, that kind of thing.
If you've got to explain it and say, what's the point of this thing?
And I've always thought to myself that there's two groups of people.
The people who listen, who understand what's going on.
And the people who are, who don't understand what's going on.
I'll tell you another example.
One time, WABC, early in the morning, early, morning drive.
I went to line one, the board app said, don't go, don't take that call.
There's only one line flashing.
I said, what's the matter?
He goes, don't take that call.
I said, why not?
He says, he's asleep.
The guy's snoring.
I said, you're not letting me know about this?
This is gold.
So I push it.
Push the button and hear this.
Rhythmic.
It's hard to do.
I said, keep it up.
As a bed, meaning keeping up, the whole time.
This was 5 in the morning through night.
He slept, I think, until like 9. He didn't wake up.
The guy might have been in a coma.
I have no idea.
Keep this up.
Kind of audible.
Audible.
But just keep it there.
Commercials.
You know, traffic, weather.
Just keep it there.
Okay.
I had on it with Congressman Pete King or something, and he said, what is that noise?
I said, oh, it's a guy on line one sleeping.
Anyway, so you said that the president went right back to the story.
And he said, yeah.
He said, who is this guy?
It doesn't matter.
Some guy's asleep.
So anyway, now, let me tell you what I did.
And I remember at the time there was like a programming type who said, so you had this on?
I said, yes.
Yes.
I said, and do you know the TSL, the time spent listening, I don't even have it anymore, but time spent listening, do you know that nobody left their car that day?
They wanted to say, is that guy still on?
So all the commercials, and all the people, and all the air conditioning stuff, and the 1-800 cars for kids, remember that one?
All those people had The most listened to station for four hours.
Because they're saying, when is he going to wake up?
Is he still on?
Because the problem with radio is that people would, they come in, they come out, they're in their car.
That's why you always got to start, you got to reset it.
And after the hour, it'll be blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's like, oh, no time.
Some people got the genius of it, others didn't.
It was genius.
They listened all four hours.
They didn't want to leave.
They were in their car saying, this guy's got to wake up.
And they're just listening.
And I thought, this never happens.
Never happens.
But these idiots, these maroons, these fools in programming, they don't get stuff.
They don't see it.
They don't understand it.
So they look at Joy Reid and they say, oh, she's an idiot.
More people know who Joy Reid is than you, Megyn Kelly, because you're desperate.
You want so much to be...
You played this so...
I would have loved to have gone on and said, you know, Joy Reid makes a lot of sense.
Can we get Joy Reid on?
What?
Can we have Joy Reid on?
Can we call Joy Reid?
And I...
I would have had Joy.
We said, Joy, I want to thank you for this.
Who do you think somebody is?
Now, I would have taken everything she said and it would have been a work.
You would have known it's a joke.
I would have known it's a joke.
Joy, if she's stupid enough to come on my show, maybe or maybe not.
But if she's smart, she'll probably do it anyway because her name, Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy.
And I would have been, people would say, did he know what was going on?
This is because nobody understands professional wrestling.
And Megyn Kelly doesn't understand any of this.
This is low-hanging fruit.
This is ridiculous.
This is the...
To find that...
Joy Reid is a genius.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Joy Reid is a genius.
And they're talking about her.
I'm talking about her.
But not because she's an idiot.
She's a resident cretin, yeah.
But when she said that, because she didn't know this.
No, that was an old website.
No, no.
Somebody affected this.
Joy, there's a thing called the Way Back.
It sounds like, remember Phineas J. Whoopi?
They went back and they realized that in the year, whatever, 25, 20, in the year, whatever, This was there then.
You can't have time bandits go back.
But she did it anyway.
Because she is a moron.
But still.
Still.
Still.
I would love to go on the...
If I ever go on the...
View.
If I ever go on the view.
Which I never will.
I will immediately agree with Joy Behar to the point where Joy will say, is he kidding me or not?
I would go in there and say, four more years of Joe Biden.
Look what he's done for us.
Who would not want Joe Biden to continue?
And don't get me this bit about, oh, he's not able to handle the job or he might be neurologically compromised.
Not at all.
She would look at me like, what are you talking about?
She wouldn't know what hit her.
Because everybody would have gone on like Megan McCain and everybody else and Candace Owens and Michelle Malkin and fight with her.
Who needs that?
But with me, they'll say, was this guy serious?
What was that?
And then I go on and say, this judge rule didn't understand anything I did.
And then maybe I can.
It would have blown people away.
I would have said exactly what she said.
Give me one bit of evidence, Joy.
One bit of evidence that Joe Biden is not able to fulfill or that he doesn't know what's going on.
What?
I haven't seen it.
I don't know what people are talking about.
And if you want to talk about somebody being old, what about Trump?
He's almost the same age.
What's the difference?
And Joy Behar would be saying, I don't know what to do with this guy.
You'd see it in her face, and I'd look at you like this, kind of like, and you would have known.
That's the way to do it.
Edge says, if you go on the view line, perhaps wear a condominium.
Get it?
Remember the condominium?
Remember the old joke?
It's a rubber for a midget?
It's an old joke, but thank you, Edge.
See, this is the thing which I don't...
I have...
Absolutely.
I used to call a show.
When I...
There was a guy named...
Not Barry Farber.
Was Barry Gray?
Was it Barry Gray?
I think it was one of the last times.
I think it was Barry Gray.
Might have been.
This was a long time ago.
And I called...
And I used to say, because that's how I got into talk radio as a caller, because you could be anybody you want.
And I called him up, and I never got to the point.
I said, Mr. Gray, I would like to discuss, well, I don't know about the word discuss, but certainly I would like to adumbrate if I could sketch out the various aspects and subdivision of this particular issue in a way, or at least a means by which I could, well, Not that I'm able to do it.
And I did this prefatory statement and never got close to the point of what I wanted to say.
Never.
And he just kept me on.
I'm thinking, is he ribbing me?
Is he doing this thinking, I'm going to show you.
I'm going to let you keep going.
I don't think so.
And I just went, he goes, well, we're out of time.
Well, thank you very much.
I hung up and never got to that.
Never got even remotely close.
Years ago, there was a guy.
Years ago, I used to love weekend bad talk.
Not bad, but it was people selling stuff.
And there was a guy who was a sweet man.
He was the electronics doctor.
He was like from Boston or something.
And he had this thing called the lightning surge protector.
To show you how old this was, in Florida, Antennas were just basically lightning because we're in that Tampa Bay area.
Literally, I mean this.
The lightning was just brutal.
I think next to Java, it was like the most lightning anybody's ever seen.
That's why you can always tell a real Floridian, whenever it starts lightning, they go inside.
So anyway, lightning should protect.
And you had this thing where you put it like this and the lightning bypasses, saves your color TV, everything's happening.
Put all his money.
He was so proud of it.
So when I called up as a talk show, as a caller, I did three rules.
Number one, be the first caller.
Set the tone.
Number two, never talk about the topic.
And number three, when at all possible, insult the host family.
Piss him off right at the beginning of the shift.
So I called this guy up.
It's a weekend show.
This is so long ago.
They had like horizontal hold.
Remember that?
Remember a TV repairman would come to your...
We had this guy, Johnny Fernandez.
He would come, and he'd have like a mirror around, and he would like...
The tube, because your TV was so big, he had to come to you!
It was the weirdest...
Anyway, this is how long ago this was.
So I called up.
I said, let me tell you something.
This surge protects us a piece of crap!
And you've got one hell of a nerve to sell this crap to cheat people out of the little pensioners.
He went berserk.
I put my life...
Shut up!
Shut up!
Let me talk.
No, you let me talk.
He went crazy.
And as soon as I...
And when I said shut up, he went crazy.
Now this is this weekend show, TV Repairman.
Did you turn the set off?
Did it warm up?
Remember when TVs used to warm up?
You look for the red light.
Is it warm up yet?
Is it warm?
I called him up.
I thought he was going to kill me.
And everybody called up and said, did you hear that guy?
Hi, he's going to Pasco County Line 2. Hello, Joe?
Did you hear that guy?
Yeah, I heard him.
Listen, Mike, how was your TV?
I mean, it was some of the best radio ever.
Some of the best radio ever.
I called a guy one time.
This was one of the best ones.
His name was...
Oh, he was such a great guy.
His name was Gil Whitten.
Gil Whitten used to do this thing called the floor.
He used to do a show on Saturday mornings.
Saturday or Sunday.
It was a garden show.
And people would call up about brown plants.
I don't even know how the hell the guy did it.
I said, what are you talking about?
Brown and it's radio.
Anyway, people would call up hours before he was the hottest thing.
So one of the guys down the hall was a, like they had, you know, the weekend guys.
So he calls up on the hotline.
Now listen to me carefully.
The hotline.
And he has a deal.
He says, put me on.
So anyway, the board app brought up the calls.
Normally, I like to bring them up.
But anyway, the board app brought up the calls.
So he says, hello, Gil?
Yeah, he goes, listen, here's something you might not know about this one.
I hear you're pretty good at this stuff, but I might have one for you that might, you know, might throw you out.
I don't know if you've heard of this one before.
I've heard of everything.
Well, I don't know, whippersnapper.
This guy's like 80 years old.
I don't know about it.
He goes, I know every plan.
Well, maybe.
Well, here it goes.
It's my wife's clitoris.
And he said, we've had it for, oh, I don't know, 10 years.
But it's brown, it's dry, it's flaky, and he's going on.
And he says, it's a what?
It's a clitoris.
I know clitoris, but it's a clitoris.
What color is it?
Well, it was green, but now it's looking.
So the station manager or whatever, the PD, program director, he's thinking, oh, Jesus, he's listening to this.
So he's calling up the hotline and he can't get through because they're using the hotline.
And he can't get through any of the other lines because they're all lined up.
So this is going on.
It was the greatest.
It was the greatest.
It was...
Now, we're going to...
Let me check my book.
And he had a book and he was looking for...
How do you spell that?
C is a K?
I one time did the same thing where I called him up and I said, I'm going to be totally indecipherable.
I said, hello, how you doing?
I said, I got nothing but a peter bed.
He said, I beg your pardon?
The dudes, they, and I went on, and I never, I, I, I didn't know what I was saying.
I had no clue.
And the dude knocked my sky off, so a 99 rolling hole, and he put the peter bed.
Well, uh, and he didn't want to say, I didn't know, I don't know what you're saying.
I don't know about you.
Great.
This is when radio went...
And we had actual people there who said, that was funny.
That was good.
Whereas today you would say, I don't know if we understood what this was.
I called up one time.
There was a guy.
He wanted English as the official language.
This was in the state of Florida years ago.
Went in English as the official language.
And that was a big deal.
They wanted the constitutional amendment.
In fact, they may have gone through.
I don't know.
It was the most stupid thing.
It was an anti-Cuban move.
Anyway.
So I called up this guy.
I said, listen to me.
First of all, I want to say to you, thank you very much for you to make everything to me.
Is it you kind of piggy knows it?
You can't speak English in the college, in school, everything.
To me, to me, I think everything.
Okay?
So good for you.
Don't listen to them about it.
It's a discrimination.
Decrimination?
No way.
No way, Jose.
It went on and on and nobody realized that the irony It was beautiful.
And this is why when I see this Joy Reid, I'm thinking, oh my God, Megan, this is so...
You did the low-hanging fruit.
You should have said, I agree with her.
What?
Now you're in the news.
And ask her, come on this show.
Joy, it takes courage for you to ask us.
I mean, after all...
If you don't know the name of the author, what does that have to do with the dildo?
You shouldn't...
But nobody gets it.
Nobody gets it.
Nobody has fun.
Nobody sees the irony.
They don't get it.
They just simply do not get it.
It's the most incredible thing.
You know what people also don't get?
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One of the just memory lane many of you have probably never called a talk radio show.
You don't know anything about it?
Because there's no talk radio anymore.
It's done.
But there was a thing called the five-second or ten-second, seven-second delay.
And the delay is important because if you have a somebody who says something that's untoward, you can push it.
By the way, the way delay works is it takes any bit of Of missed time, any bit of a pause, space.
It grabs that time, builds it up to build your delay up.
So, in case somebody says, well, you know, why is it...
Oh, sorry about that.
No, it's alright.
We got it.
You got that.
And if you know how to work a delay, it's great.
One time there was a brand new...
Board operator.
Poor guy.
He's working his shift.
And he's putting the carts away.
They're like 8-tracks.
He's putting them away.
He said, don't worry there.
What's your name?
Toby?
Don't worry, Toby.
I've been doing this.
You don't worry about this.
I got your back, buddy.
I got your back.
Okay, great.
So he's putting the things away.
And I'm making...
There's a way to tell if the delay is on.
You can...
There's a way to tell.
So anyway, I'm listening.
And...
He's doing his stuff, and I open up the mic, and I immediately hit them with the longest F, F, F, F this, F that, F, F, and he's looking at me because he realizes his job is done.
Because he's over there, he should be on the board.
Not putting things away.
But I hit the, I dumped myself.
So he doesn't know this.
He just hears this, but it never made it on the air.
He thinks...
Sorry about that, Toby.
You know, sometimes I get a little upset.
And I forget where I am.
He thinks it's over.
It was a joke.
It was a joke.
It happened.
There was a time when we had this delay.
And you normally have a delay turn off when you have this guy.
Normally we have traffic.
He's like a guy in a plane.
Well, over 275 in Armenia, there's a two-car collision, and he's in a plane.
He's actually flying around.
So he couldn't have a delay, because if he's talking and he hears himself seven seconds later in the headphones, it's not going to work.
So they turn the delay off when he's flying.
So at the end of the, at the bottom of the hour, we're doing this news stuff.
The most important button in the world, the most important button in a radio station is the on-air light.
To know when your mic is hot.
That's why we got a little red light here.
To know when you...
Are you hot?
Am I hot?
Did that...
Okay.
For some reason, the on-air light was behind the board up.
I have no idea.
So he puts this...
There was a sounder.
Okay, so he puts it in.
And for some reason, it doesn't play.
I don't know what happened.
So the newsman is doing his thing.
I think it was the great Don Richards.
Great, great.
So he says, and he puts the card in, hits it.
Now when he hits the button to fire it, it's fine.
He's hitting the mic.
For some reason, and I never figured out, he didn't hit the button to fire the cart.
He's hitting the mic.
So his mic now is on.
And if the on-air light was in front of him, where it should have been, you would have seen that red light.
But he didn't know this.
So this is what happened.
He pushes it in.
He pushes the cart in.
There's no sound.
He pushes the button that he thinks is to fire it, but it's his mic.
And this is what you hear.
This is 970 W. F!
F!
What the F?
Go!
Go!
Son of a!
GD!
F!
F!
What the F?
God!
F!
He's crazy.
Losing his money.
And the lottery numbers are 2, 15, 6. F!
I didn't get him either.
He's trying his best to work.
People are running down the hall.
I mean, it was the...
Anyway, I'm not going to bore you.
One of the greatest moments, and I have it somewhere.
I have it.
It's one of them.
I never get tired of it.
Because people are listening and go, what the hell is this?
And we had this person, this person who came in one time and she...
This is like the...
Receptionist.
She's got this headphone.
Is somebody saying F?
The phones are going crazy.
Edge says to improve the ratings of the view, they can reminisce the old days when silent films were popular.
I get it because they're that old.
Right?
I got it.
Clara Bow.
I got it.
Thank you, Edge.
Fred Brown says, I love this talk about Lasseter.
You know, there was this fellow years ago, we had this guy named Bob Lasseter, who was a real jerk.
I mean, he was a real, very talented, but just a weird, weird guy.
Have you ever smelled Limburger cheese?
Have you ever smelled it?
Have you ever?
It's really as bad as they say.
And beneath our console was this board, this unit, that you...
Pop the screws, and you can put the buttons in and everything in you.
And this program director put in this huge, big pound of this stuff that had been really baking, left it in there, and the smell.
And you can't figure out where it's coming from.
You can't target it.
You can't.
So Lasseter came in after me.
And it was the, it was one of those.
Horrible.
It was to hear him scream on the air.
This is too inside.
Let me just tell you this much.
One of my heroes was Jack Parr and Ernie Kovacs.
Ernie Kovacs figured out how it worked.
He figured a way to make people He used the limitations of TV and exploited them.
He had people sitting here, he would take a table, turn it sideways, 45 degree angle, and turn the camera so that you're looking at it.
And he would take a glass of water and go like this, and the water would pour, and he'd pick up a ball and throw it.
I mean, he was a genius.
Absolute genius.
And there were people who did this who knew the game.
The seven-second delay.
Somebody would call up and say, hello?
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
And I would say, listen, do you have your radio on in the background?
Do you?
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, you want me to turn it off?
No, no, no.
Turn it off.
What?
Can you get next to it?
Can you get next to it?
What?
You want me to get next to it?
Yeah, get next to it.
Okay, hang on a minute.
Wait a minute.
And he walks over, and it's getting real loud.
Are you sure you want this?
Don't you want me to turn it off?
No, no, no.
Keep going.
Anyway, go ahead.
He said, well, yeah, yeah, I was going to say, you know, Reagan, Reagan, Reagan.
Are you sure you don't want me?
No, no, keep going.
This is good, good, good.
Turn the volume up.
Turn it up, up, up.
Now, everybody who knows about radio is laughing hysterically.
They're in their car, and they're wondering, how is this guy falling for this?
And when it got really, really loud, right before he was about to hang up, I broke into the...
Classic Lou Gehrig.
Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
What?
What?
Anyway, go ahead.
So anyway, and this went on, and people were glued.
Glued.
And of course, there's always one person who says, you know, the delay was on.
Yeah.
You know, he...
You normally want to have them turn the radio down.
This is what's wrong with the world.
This is what's wrong with the world.
This is when people don't know what the hell you're talking about.
So, joy, read, genius.
You go, girl.
You go.
Everybody's talking about you.
Everybody's talking to them.
And Megan Kelly, please.
You should have had her on.
You would have watched me.
You would have watched me.
And you would have said, she doesn't get it.
Of course, she would have probably known that we politically are.
But you know, I would have been very serious and would have had.
And I don't crack up.
I'm very serious.
But see, that's the reason why people like you and me all have to find our own medium because we get it.
And those days, this is why, I was reading this thing, a very sad story from these trades about the radio industry.
How you've got to have better, you know, no, no, you need crazy people.
You need fun.
You need like Johnny Fever.
You need, you don't need just Angry.
You need creative.
Funny.
People love funny.
People want to have a good...
There's nothing funny.
There's no...
Do you ever really laugh?
Do you ever laugh?
When you hear...
I don't know who.
But you laugh.
When you hear Tucker Carlson, do you ever sit there and belly laugh?
I know he laughs.
By the way, good shout out to Cat Turd, our buddy.
Good for you.
He's very, very good, Mr. Carlson, in terms of his showing, his skills, his skills are very, very good regarding, what am I trying to say?
His skills are very, very good when it comes to interviewing and the like.
All right, that's it.
Don't forget, right here, this is the cutting room link, my friends.
This is the cutting room link.
This is the cutting room link.
Make a point of it, my friends.
February 3rd, we're going to be there.
It's going to be the time of our life.
And it's fine for a daughter grad.
It really is.
And by the way, somebody said, could young people say, absolutely.
It's not blue.
It's not anything like that.
Believe me when I tell you that.
It is not.
Let me also tell you, dear friends, that it means the world to me, and your response is terrific.
Mrs. L is doing the best work of her life.
This is her link to her YouTube channel.
You've got to see this interview with Derek Maltz about the border.
It's unbelievable.
That's all I'm going to tell you.
Let me get it right here for you.
It is one of those things.
It just...
How do I say this?
I don't know how to say this.
In any event, other than it's just...
You can't believe this is allowed to go on in our great country.
This is her link right here for the Maltz interview.
Please, please listen.
Please.
Sparky says, that's a joke, son.
Foghorn leghorn.
Oh, I love him.
I do, I do, I do.
The great Mel Blanc, everybody.
And the great John Kennedy.
John, may I read this to you?
I strapped off.
I knew I'm not going to go through that.
All right, dear friends.
Have a great and glorious day.
See you tonight at 7 p.m.
Don't ever change me.
That's sincerely.
Until then, remember this, my friends.
The monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue ya.
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