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Jan. 12, 2024 - Lionel Nation

14:22

Plane Passenger Poops Pants, SmearIng It on Seat — “Spread Out Like Peanut Butter”

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	This is a very touchy subject and it deals with a subject that I think should be handled as an adult and without reference to cheap jokes and the like.
	It deals with something which Humans invariably find funny for reasons that I will explain, but I think it goes to show you that there's something maybe atavistic about it, maybe something which I think is deserving of closer attention and inspection.
	Please, do not think that I'm going to fall for the typical cheap jokes and references to that which most people do.
	I'm a serious commentator.
	And by the way, as you can see from this, This is a talent that I have had my entire life.
	And it has brought so much fun and so much delight to kids and children and pets and old people, especially in crowded elevators and during physical examinations.
	Now, the worst is, watch this, no hands.
	Now, let's go through this story, please.
	And again, I'm doing this as a serious exercise.
	I'm a serious commentator here.
	I'm not some kid.
	I'm not somebody who goes for the cheap joke, okay?
	And by the way, if you want to know how to do this, I'll teach you in a separate video.
	If you'd like, put that in the comments.
	If you'd like me to show you how to do this.
	Now what happens like this.
	Apparently, there was a parent that had claimed that a fellow passenger had, okay, pooped, defecated, pooped their pants.
	I never understood that.
	I think you should be pooped in their pants.
	Pooped and pants were the product, which is egesta.
	But I digress.
	Apparently it was a Delta flight on Christmas Eve, and apparently there was excrement, egesta, which is a far better word.
	Apparently there was remnants of this that were smeared all over the seat.
	And it was detailed in a Reddit post, and it dealt in tremendous details.
	And I think the line that really, I think is the most perfectly written is, spreads out like peanut butter.
	Someone had S, a shot, I guess, all in their seat.
	Now, according to the thread, The odoriferous or feculents occurred while the anonymous individual who wrote this and their 8-year-old daughter were connecting from a Birmingham flight.
	Shortly after takeoff, the redditor noticed a horrific odor, that unmistakable feculents that wafted through the cabin.
	Which I found terrible, very frightening, especially when you think, you know, what is this?
	Especially with terrorism being what it is.
	Just imagine that.
	Now, apparently, about 20 minutes into the flight, this is reported, they received a terrible gust of this fetidness, and this individual asked his daughter if she had indeed, quote, pooted.
	Now, I think a poot I always thought the poot denoted flatulence.
	More of this type of reference.
	I don't know.
	The child apparently denied any wrongdoing and yet the smell, this paw, lingered about.
	It wasn't until they landed that they discovered the horrid sight, source, and origin of this absolute organic horror.
	Passion play, so to speak.
	While deplaning, they reportedly saw eight rows in front of them.
	Someone had indeed deposited a sample of one's waste all over the seat.
	So the bottom and the back were completely, quote, covered.
	They added in the comments during this quarantine that the excrement was halfway up the passenger's back as well.
	This person had sat in their own waist and then departed into banana covered in, as you can imagine.
	Now, indeed, the interesting aspect is the comment section.
	There was a somebody...
	Elaborated that the plane had taxis for 45 minutes.
	But I think what's interesting right now is, and you can read this, I don't want to spend too much time on the specifics.
	I think we can kind of understand what's going on.
	But the words that are so interesting, upon deplaning, saw waste on the seat spread out like peanut butter.
	And let me just stop right there.
	Let me just stop right there.
	Why is this interesting?
	First, first, there is something organically funny about this subject matter.
	And I believe one of the reasons for it deals with when we are children.
	We are pretty much anonymous.
	And we don't really know we're there.
	We're not really sure who we are and what we do.
	And if we're here, even sometimes the parietal lobe kind of kicks in.
	Sometimes kids will sit in their crib and they'll say, what are these things?
	And it's their hands.
	They don't even know they're connected.
	And later on they go, oh, I get it.
	And a child has to make its way known.
	Hey, I'm here.
	Look, I'm here.
	And then the child does some things, may laugh, may sneeze, may micturate, may indeed defecate, and nothing really except defecation.
	This is the first time a child gets any kind of attention.
	It's like, what did you do?
	Not only that, they want you to control it.
	All they want you to do is let us know.
	If you could let us know.
	Sound the alarm whenever it gets serious.
	And by the way, pardon my licking.
	There's different sounds and tamper.
	And if you want, just let me know and I'll do a special video if you want on how to master this.
	So the child learns I exist.
	I'm performing.
	All they want me to do It's really two things.
	Number one, control this.
	But more importantly, to just let them know.
	And they'll clap and they'll...
	And from that moment, from that moment on, there is a Freudian connection that is made regarding this particular bodily function.
	And it's something that we don't talk about.
	We talk all around.
	We talk about probiotics.
	We talk about, you know, hey, are you a regular?
	What does that mean?
	Well, you know, you know.
	There's two things that men in particular take great umbrage at.
	One is suggesting that they are erectile dysfunctional.
	What are you talking about?
	I'm a sundial, for God's sake.
	Are you kidding?
	And the other one is being irregular.
	People love this notion of regularity.
	Why?
	You can set your clock to it.
	Remember the old joke?
	The old man who says, every day, every day I have a bowel movement at 6 o 'clock a.m. every day without fail.
	You can set your clock to it.
	Greenwich Main Time can call me 6 o 'clock every morning without fail.
	And his friend says, boy, you're pretty lucky.
	The bad news is they get up at 7. So we joke about that.
	And we also joke about not being able to control it, which goes back, atavistically, to the Freudian connection of being able to control.
	What this is, is a nightmare.
	We have variations of that.
	Going into a bathroom, going into somebody's restroom, seeing that water rise.
	Finding out perhaps that you might have used too much paper or there's a plumbing problem and you see that water rise along with the detritus of your production.
	It looks like they're floating logs in some Oregon River.
	Oh no!
	And we all laugh at that.
	We laugh because it's something that we do.
	And we go through life kidding ourselves that You know, you look at the Queen.
	Yes!
	The Queen!
	Why do you call it a throne?
	Anyway.
	I find this not so much funny, but fascinating.
	One of the things that people talk about a lot, which is very sad, is when people, older people, when you get towards the back nine, People say, you know, I don't care.
	Whatever you do, put me out of my misery.
	Don't let me walk around drooling and whatever.
	The last thing in the world I want to do is to wear a diaper.
	Or to have some loved one have to recreate that initial.
	It's a source of utmost humiliation and the lack of control.
	The locus of control.
	Now one day, if you're lucky, You can master this.
	By the way, you know who loves this?
	I've been around various countries, and if you go to any country and you don't know what the language is, but you walk in there, you say, excuse me?
	Here I am in New York City, a pretty tough place.
	I can walk into a CVS or a Walgreens or whatever it is they say, and I've done this, and even though I've got, even though I've, my hands, even though, You can see this is coming from my hands.
	For some reason people disconnect.
	And especially now when they have everything locked up.
	You know, soap and vitalis and whatever.
	Whatever you lock up.
	One time there was a young man and he was putting items on a shelf.
	I said, excuse me.
	I don't know how to ask you this, but is there something that you have for, I think, was it called Beano?
	I'm not really sure, but something that can affect flatulence and anything.
	The look on his face.
	I could have had a severed head in my hand.
	And nothing.
	Nothing.
	Little kids love this.
	Little kids.
	It's weird.
	They have a sense of humor.
	And invariably, if you want to break the ice with someone's youngster, you say, did you do that?
	And they look at you and say, what?
	What?
	You did it again?
	I did not.
	And it's funny.
	The sense of indignation.
	How dare you?
	Of all things.
	Elevators?
	My wife has looked at me with a sense of terror like, don't you do it.
	Don't you do it.
	Hey!
	Hello, everybody!
	Incoming!
	Fire in the hole!
	Hit the deck!
	When he hit the bridge, wave!
	Oh, enough of this.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	I apologize.
	I'm a child.
	Do you find this funny?
	Would you?
	Do you have a particular favorite story of yours?
	An incident you had?
	Something where you might have found yourself in this minefield, this horror?
	Let me know.
	And if I've offended you, there's plenty more where that came from.
	Alright, dear friend, thank you so much.
	Please subscribe to the channel.
	Please, please like the video.

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