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Dec. 2, 2023 - Lionel Nation
01:08:20
Americans Know the Scheiße's About to Hit the Fan In Massive Heaves
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Thank you, thank you.
Let me say right off the bat, I apologize for not being here at 7 o 'clock exactly.
I know, I know most people are saying, hey, don't worry about that.
You don't owe us anything.
No, no, no.
I said I would be here at 7. No, it's not like we're paying for it.
I know, I know, I know.
But I was on the phone just now talking to a great friend, and I'm going to be booking him.
We'll talk about it later, but it's great.
You're going to love this guy.
And I had one of those moments where I'm thinking, why am I not talking?
Because I've had a...
I love to have a guest, but oftentimes they're horrible.
I'm sorry.
There are some shows who have nothing but guests.
You don't even know what the host thinks.
He's like, excuse me, why don't we just go to this guy's show?
What do you mean?
Well, because he's always on.
Why aren't we talking to him in any event?
How's everybody doing?
Today was a weird day in New York.
Rainy, cold.
Weird.
I'm in a weird kind of psychic mood today.
Very, very strange.
And I've gotten so many people so mad at me because they don't understand the fact that what they want to happen in the country doesn't mean it will happen in the country.
Even though they like Donald Trump, I don't know where Donald Trump is.
And even though they don't like Gavin Newsom, he's going to be the next president because they're going to hand it to him.
And I don't like that.
Don't shoot the messenger, as it were.
So anyway, sit back.
Let me say welcome, welcome, welcome.
Please, dear friends, let me ask you, as always, to make sure that you like this channel, subscribe to the channel, and all of that.
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Now remember, There's always a risk of investment, and there's no guarantee of any kind.
Well, there's one guarantee, my friends.
You and I are going to be speaking the truth.
And I know you're upset over the fact that when I told you, you're still talking about this stupid debate.
I know.
It's tough being in this world today.
It's tough being who you are.
I know it.
I dig it.
I understand what's happening.
You're scared.
This is very, very scary.
It's very, very scary times.
I understand it.
But let me tell you something right now.
The God's honest truth, you better get with the program and pay attention quickly.
Because things are really changing.
And there's some good stuff that's happening.
Some good things.
Sort of.
Maybe.
Kind of.
You know who my new hero is today?
Let me ask you this.
Who's your hero?
Serious question.
Who's your hero?
Do you have somebody now?
Oh, I mean hero.
I don't mean that.
David Bowie kind of hero, but do you have a hero?
Do you have somebody that comes to mind?
Somebody that says, yeah, that's the guy that I like.
Who is it?
Who are the people now that really, maybe people that you just admire, not necessarily people that you consider to be heroic, but people that you think, I like this fellow.
I like what he or she has done.
Because I'll tell you, my favorite so far, I would be less than honest if I told you that I wasn't absolutely thrilled and smitten with Elon Musk.
I love hellraisers.
I love people who raise, who, how do I say this?
I love people who drive people nuts.
Do you understand this?
I love people who drive people nuts.
I love people who break the rules.
I love people who do everything they're not supposed to do.
Who say things they're not supposed to say.
Elon Musk, when he said F you to Bob Iger, I loved it.
And do you know why I loved it?
I'm glad you asked.
I love it because I love when people have the guts and the C.O. Jones, the cojones, to say something and to say, I'm the richest man in the world?
Well, by God, I'm going to act like him.
And you know who else I love?
I mean, in terms of, well, hero status, I use the term a little loosely, is Bill Ackman, the hedge funder.
I like this guy.
And the reason why I like him is for the foregoing reasons and a vermin cited.
I love when people speak the truth.
And I love the way they say exactly what it is that they feel.
Isn't that wonderful?
I swear to you.
I am so sick and tired of people living in this namby-pamby world.
Evil Knievel.
You know, I used to talk to Evil Knievel.
Evil Knievel, when I used to do a show on WFLA in the evening, I don't know how.
Evil Knievel would call, and I think he lived kind of in the area or something.
And I always would, this was before Google and all that stuff, and I would ask him, I would try to find out if there was some way that, well, how do I know you're evil, couldn't evil?
Where were you born?
And I'd look and see if there was something to where he was born and what have you.
But I've got to tell you something.
It's very interesting.
This was a guy who was known as being a daredevil.
Who are our daredevils today?
Do we have any?
No.
Think about what he did.
He was a daredevil.
A daredevil!
Isn't that wonderful?
He was a daredevil.
And what's interesting to note about the daredevil is that here was a guy who basically did things which nobody even cares about anymore.
Remember the old days when we had fat people?
Remember there was a time, I never saw this in my life, but people would travel for miles around, miles around, just to see somebody who weighed 300 pounds.
How we've got kids today who weigh 300 pounds.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember when there was a time when this is what we consider to be interesting?
They actually think, wow, this meant something to them.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Does this make any sense to you?
Am I getting through to you?
Tell me I'm getting through.
Tell me.
Just nod.
Just pretend you're there.
Who are your heroes?
Who are these?
Conor McGregor?
Why?
I do like people who stand up for themselves.
That I believe.
I like that.
And I like people who stand up.
And do things.
And they fight.
And they do things and say things and take on roles that are frankly, well, maybe problematic, so to speak.
Maybe.
Maybe there's anything.
I don't know.
But I do like that.
So, there's one thing that I wish you would do, and I wish you would help me.
Ric Flair.
You know, it's funny.
Ric Flair.
A little background on this.
When I was being from Campbell, I graduated from law school in 83. Like July of 83. Took the bar exam and we waited until like November?
Yeah, like November to get the results.
So I'm kind of like in limbo.
I didn't know anything about.
What to do?
I couldn't do anything.
Couldn't practice.
Couldn't do whatever it was.
Now, prior to that, I was buddy with a guy in Tampa who was running for judges.
It was Mike Clements, and I just loved him.
And he was a great guy.
He was running for judge, and I used to work for a U.S. senator.
And during the course of this, I became friends with a guy named Gordon Soley.
And Gordon Soley was the...
The Walter Cronkite of professional wrestling.
Go Google him, S-O-L-I-E.
And he was the greatest.
And growing up, he was the most famous person.
To make a long story short, during the course of whatever it was, I...
Met him through my friend Mike and I became friends with Gordon and, you know, we kind of do some stuff and whatever it was.
Well, to make a long story short, when I was kind of waiting to pass the bar or to find out if I passed the bar, which we all did, which was great, I had the chance to kind of work with him.
I said, well, if there's anything I can help you with.
And, you know, I'm doing something.
So he let me.
Learn about professional wrestling.
And I was his guy.
And I was his...
I don't know what you want to call it.
Not his...
We would travel and...
To make it all the story short, we became the best of friends.
And we traveled all over the place.
And I learned professional wrestling.
And learned a life lesson about entertainment.
About business.
I represented a lot of the people for different scrapes and just became so many people I just respected so much.
I later became absolutely very close to Bobby Heenan, Bobby the Brain Heenan and his wife and his daughter and loved him.
He was the greatest heel ever.
I remember one time we were in New York.
One of the first times I was in New York and we were at the And I had, I think I was in New York once before, but I really didn't know the area.
But I was with Bobby Heaton.
And with the hair and the whole bed and we were, you know, doing this stuff.
And anyway, to make a long story short, we're out there.
And somebody came up to him and asked him for an autograph or something.
And he was very, very brusque.
Almost rude.
And I said, wow.
He says, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He says, no, because he's not like that at all.
He is the nicest person ever.
He says, you've got to understand something.
I'm a heel.
24-7.
This isn't a, you know, some kind of a joke.
This is exactly what I do.
I am a heel.
I am the bad guy.
They don't want to see, hey, how are you?
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, he wasn't overtly rude to them.
And it was an act.
And I remember one time being in the Boutwell Auditorium.
This was when I was with Gordon.
This was way before.
And I was back.
He says, tonight we're going to bust your cherry.
I thought, oh my god, this doesn't sound good.
This does not sound good.
What the hell?
What do you mean?
He says, tonight you're going to be Smeazart.
It's like I was made.
You know, like in the mob.
Straightened out.
I went backstage at the Boutwell Auditorium in Birmingham.
I think it was Birmingham.
And I walked in, and when I'm with Gordon, Gordon kind of gave him the okay, like, he's okay, he's with me.
Because then you have heels and faces, and we're all talking, and there's the...
I mean, it was, to me, like something I couldn't even imagine.
It was like something out of another world.
I'm seeing this.
I'm looking at the referee is working on the finish.
He's got the booker.
Was it the exotic Adrian Street?
I think it was.
Maybe Bobby Duncombe?
I'm trying to think of the people that I knew.
This was NWA.
Remember the Fuller, Ron Fuller, Robert Fuller?
Oh, Bob Roop?
Oh!
Bob Roop?
I gotta tell you a quick story.
I want to hear a story.
This is called a shoot.
This is serious.
Steve Kern was Steve Gator Kern later on, but Steve Kern.
Steve Kern used to tag team with Mike Graham.
Mike Graham was his son of Eddie Graham, who was a promoter.
And Eddie Graham committed suicide.
Mike Graham did.
And I think...
I think his son did as well.
I think all three of them.
It was very, very tragic.
Yeah, Mike Graham.
Gossett was their name.
Mike Graham, I think he committed, I think his death was tragic.
Yeah, he committed self-inflicted on Daytona Beach.
His father and son had committed suicide in similar matters.
I remember when Eddie committed suicide because Gordon called me that day.
It was during a Super Bowl, and they had to get a hold of Mike.
Anyway, it was...
So Steve Kern was his tag team guy.
Steve Kern's father, Colonel Kern.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Colonel Kern was, I think, a double POW.
I know it was Vietnam, because you're a double POW.
Steve Kern was...
Bear with me.
I believe it was...
Yeah, Richard Kern.
Yep.
Steve, and I think it might have been World War II.
In any event, make a long story short.
I'm sorry.
Listen to the story.
Steve Kern, his father comes back.
His father.
P.O.W.
This is the mentality of these people.
Steve Kern's wrestling.
He says, well, you know, I'm glad my dad's here and I can see him.
Anyway, Steve's out there in the match.
Colonel Kern's there.
Bob Roop comes out and says something.
This was a long time ago.
This might have been 50 years ago.
I think.
Maybe.
Anyway, so he said something like, Bob Roop, Mr. Tree Riff, he goes, well I was in the Air Force, and anybody who allows themselves to get captured is a coward, or something like that.
So this was all a rip, this was a work.
Steve Kern comes out, he's red, and he said, lights out match, Tuesday night at the armory.
I'm going.
I got front rows.
I don't know how I did it.
I gotta be there for them.
Front row.
Lights out match.
This is the armory.
This was it.
And the heels and the faces went into the same dressing room.
That was odd.
Anyway.
So Bob Rube's out there like this.
You know, he's got his universal, you know, that thing with the strap.
And he's doing all this.
They would always do this.
They would hit their shoulders.
For some particular reason, their shoulders always needed hitting.
And they would do like this.
Here comes Steve Kern.
Running.
Full gallop.
Running down to the ring.
And the lights out match, for those of you who know, they symbolically turned the lights off and said, this concludes all sanctioned NWA matches.
What you're about to see right now is not sanctioned.
So whatever happens, somebody gets killed.
We warned you.
So if you want to leave, leave now because all of the NWA sanction match is over.
What you're about to see now is going to be a blood fest and we have nothing to do with it.
We're in.
We're solid.
Okay.
They turn the lights off.
One symbolic, great.
He comes out.
He grabs the strap, wraps it around Bob Rupp's neck and chokes him for like, it wasn't.
But I saw his face.
You think Luca Brasi was good?
You think Lenny Montana, who was a zebra kid, by the way, a wrestler, you think he was good when he did that scene?
Nothing like this.
This was the most incredible thing.
Okay, jump, jump to the, jump to the future.
I happened to be on a plane one day with Gordon and Bob Roop.
We're flying to West Palmer.
I don't know where that way we were.
And I said, you know, we're in the plane.
I said, it was funny.
He had smokies.
Gordon smoked.
All day long.
He had a wire and he had like pockets where he put cigarettes.
Like, you know, like machine, like magazines for bullets.
Anyway.
I said, you know, it's kind of funny because I was there that night.
And I was there at the armory in Tampa.
And I remember that night.
He says, let me tell you what happened.
Somebody he knew, dated or whatever, was...
Was that the Officers Club or something?
At MacDill Air Force Base.
MacDill is now CENTCOM.
That was a SAC Strategic Air Command.
This was the big South Tampa.
This was the big Air Force Base still there.
Somebody overheard.
Somebody say, you know, I know where that guy Rup lives.
And somebody was talking about putting something like anti-tank weapon or I don't know what.
But they told him, you better get out of town.
So he got out of town.
Because they were pissed.
Now, that was real.
That was a shoot.
And you know this, right?
You know how this works.
This is real.
It's a shoot.
There's the angle, there's a work, but the shoot is real.
Saw Luthez one time.
Luthez, we were at New Jersey.
Luthez was a hooker.
You know what a hooker is?
Anybody know what a hooker is?
Anybody?
It's the ultimate It's the ultimate respect.
Anybody know what a hooker is?
You don't know.
You don't know.
Anybody?
A hooker is a guy who used to be in the carnival circuit.
This was a guy who would be on the circuit all day long and he would lose.
They would have wrestling.
Not wrestling.
Wrestling.
And when they had the wrestling, they would have these, you know, various people or whatever it was.
And this guy, like Luthez, would lose.
Until the big event comes, everybody's going to bet against him.
And he comes in there.
And by the way, he learned under Ed Strangler Lewis.
Ed Strangler Lewis was the greatest.
And Lou would come in and break your ankle.
Break your ankle.
Snap.
Do all kinds.
I mean, just.
Not submission holds.
Break things.
Then we do one of these pins and your foot's like that.
Snap it.
Break it.
He was just brutal.
Brutal.
He was the most dangerous man.
I think seven times.
NWA.
Anyway.
He was doing a shoot one time.
Somebody was slapping him around.
Now that.
Some young kid.
Somebody said, okay.
Slap him around.
Slap him around.
Okay.
So he gives the referee the look, and he puts him in one of these submission holes where he basically took his legs, put his leg inside.
The guy was on his back, his legs were like, they put one leg in each leg and split.
He did a split and had the guy's legs almost behind his ears, and he was screaming.
And this jaw boy, or whatever it was, the jaw boy is the one who was...
Who always loses?
The guy who used to lose to Andre the Giant?
Anyway, this guy was saying, I submit.
And the referee says, that's not the finish.
You're supposed to put him over.
He says, he's killing me.
That's a shoot.
Quick story two.
Remember the Ultimate Warrior?
You've heard that guy, right?
Bobby Haney told me the joke.
Andre the Giant was very, very old.
And the thing was, don't hurt him.
He was Vince's prized, you know, whatever you want to call it.
He was Vince's prized whatever.
Whatever you want to call his prized calf or whatever it was.
And the rule was, do not hurt him.
Do not.
The Ultimate Warrior, who was the Dingo Warrior when he was with, I think, Fritz von Erich in Texas, and then later on, anyway, he came out and he had the makeup and everything.
And he did one of these things where he came off the rope and, like, clotheslined Andre, and Andre was kind of rocking.
Now, Bobby was going crazy.
Everybody was looking at him like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
This was not scripted.
This was a shoot.
He did it, like, two times.
So, Andre...
He turns and says, watch, watch this, boss.
And he stands, and you've heard this story, where he puts his hand out.
Now, you've seen his hand, right?
You've seen the beer can, and his hand covers it.
He just stopped.
He planted.
And the warrior comes at him, full speed, and the paint goes this way, and easy.
And he had to put Andre over.
Of course, he's almost unconscious.
It was the greatest thing in the world.
And you couldn't tell anybody.
This is before shoot wrestling.
This is before, like, now with the mob.
Everybody's got a mob, a mafia platform where they're talking about, you know, Roy DeMeo and this and that.
The real stuff that went on was even more fascinating than anything else.
Oh, my personal favorite?
Harley Race.
Harley Race.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Anyway.
Those are heroes.
That's real.
That's legit.
That's a shoot.
That's Elon Musk.
I know it's a long way to get there.
That's Elon Musk.
What Elon Musk did, that's a shoot.
He's serious.
This isn't a joke.
They're not joking around.
He is pissed off.
And it's about time.
It's like when Trump does it.
My friends, we want authentic.
It was funny.
You got to go to wrestling to find authentic, but there were real people there.
And you got to know what to look for.
You got to know when to watch.
You got to know this is legit.
This is a shoot.
This is the real McCoy.
They're really fighting.
Trump's upset.
Ackman's upset.
Elon's upset.
It's authentic.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
And I think Elon Musk is just keep it up and don't ask for permission and just go out there and confound them.
Say whatever you want.
It doesn't matter what anybody thinks.
Say whatever.
What you want.
And that's the thing which I think is so critical, so important.
That's what people want.
They really, really want these things.
They want this legitimacy.
And they want honesty.
And they want somebody to say what we wish we could say.
That's all.
Alright, stand by for a second, my friend.
Because we've got more information for you.
Especially about food.
How about this?
How about they say China owning all our food?
How about one day if all of our food...
What?
What if all of our food is gone?
Wait a minute.
What?
What if food is...
What if we can't find food?
What?
Think about that.
Think about that.
Listen to my good friends and your good friends and our good friends at MyPatriotSupplies and this great site called PrepareWithLionel.com.
Listen to me.
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All right, my friends.
It's true.
Preparewithme.com.
All right?
Preparewithme.com.
Now, a couple of things here, which is important and critical for us to know.
Let me just bring up to your speed.
Mrs. L happens to be the smartest woman you'll ever meet in your life.
Nah, I'm not just saying it, but it's true.
And she notices it.
We call her Nancy Drew.
She picks things up.
She notices stuff.
She's like a detective.
She notices things.
She notices irregularities.
She notices a lot of stuff.
And by the by, I want you to see this great interview she did with Kat DeLorean.
This is John DeLorean.
People have this idea about...
I don't know.
She's a wonderful person.
Watch these.
Watch this great interview.
No matter what you do, somebody's like, what are you talking about?
Anyway.
So the other night, I think I told you this.
Mrs. L is doing an event.
She happens to be around the Rockefeller Center.
The tree.
And it's packed.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Packed.
Families.
People.
Loving the tree.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Loving the tree.
There's a place called, was it American Girl, right?
What a racket.
Packed.
Down the line.
Little girls going in to buy little dolls for girl stuff.
Not this Dylan Malmany crap.
Not this non-binary crap.
Little girls recognizing themselves as little girls.
Wonderful.
Wonderful.
Now listen to this story.
I love this.
This is a beaut.
Now where in the hell did I...
Oh, here we go.
This breaks my heart.
This is from Spokane, Washington.
One of Spokane's most impressive collection of toys is in a hardware store, specifically on the second floor of the general store and Ace Hardware in Spokane.
The hardware store began offering toys about three years ago when the historic White Elephant closed.
We constantly hear customer feedback about what they want to see.
Since then, Toyland, as it is called, has grown to offer more toys every year.
At first, there were some things we didn't have.
But now, we have a thorough spread of toys.
According to this individual, some of the store's most popular items look similar to decades ago.
Legos, Pokemon, Barbie dolls, and Hot Wheels are all big sellers.
Pokemon is astoundingly popular right now.
I say it's more popular now than it was when I was a kid, and then it was pretty darn popular.
But old toys are coming back to popularity.
It's not just isolated to this hardware store.
It's a trend weaving throughout the toy industry.
Despite being introduced in the 1960s, sales of the Tonka Mighty Dump Truck rose more than 250% year over year during the pandemic, according to the Washington Post.
In the same year, The CEO of Basic Fund said his company is selling more Care Bears than ever.
Since their introduction in the early 80s, though old toys are doing well, more technologically advanced gifts still garner attention.
Remote-controlled cars are always popular, but drones are big right now.
Okay, fine.
But the blockbuster sellers are the classics, and major toy brands know it.
Fisher-Price has continued its strategy to emphasize nostalgia for the 80s and 90s.
The company has released products like a toy boombox for infants, though they may have never seen a real one in their lifetime.
The company has released a toy version of Game Boy, a major pastime and the cultural icon of the 80s and 90s.
This is one of the most wonderful things.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're getting back.
We're getting back.
Do you understand this?
This is the most important.
This is it.
We're getting back.
Who remembers Hot Wheels?
Eric says Hot Wheels are more addictive than cigarettes.
G.I. Joe's.
Spirograph.
Remember Spirograph?
I love that thing with the pen.
With these gears and these sprockets.
I loved it.
Wood-burning sex.
Creepy Crawly.
Susie Homemaker.
My sister's still waiting for her cake.
It was a light bulb.
Board games.
There was a bar every now and then.
Board games.
Here in New York, we have these places where people go and they do molding.
What am I saying?
Molding.
You know, pottery and stuff like that.
People are getting it.
Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.
Mr. Potato Head.
Easy Bake Ovens.
These were wonderful.
Cabbage Patch Kids.
Look at Liz.
Look at her.
Mishkina.
Cabbage Patch Kids.
I had wood burnings.
Wood burning.
I never forget I had this.
I plugged this thing in.
It was a wand.
The end was like...
It was like a bright...
When I hear corn holes, I laugh.
It meant something different when we were kids, but corn holes.
We were at a wedding.
They got a corn hole.
What the hell is this?
We got a corn hole.
Let's roll the bag.
You're kidding me.
It's the biggest thing anybody's ever seen.
But there I was holding these thin balsa sheets with this glowing 1500 degrees glowing red and I'm putting holes in it.
My father said, What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I said, I'm burning holes.
Okay.
And the smell, I go, I smell fire.
It's called pyrography.
I said, I'm burning.
Okay.
Nobody said not to do it.
Tycho Train said, mousetrap.
Remember that, remember that the beard with the metal filings and you would, or that little bee?
You would, this bee was in this circuitous little, you'd have this magnetic pin, and you would, hmm, hi-ho, cherry-o, no, hi-ho, no, shoots and ladders, hi-ho, cherry-o, old maid.
Remember that when you were a kid, how you taught strategy?
You know, you're playing with somebody, and they have this one card that's sticking up, and it's the old maid, and you're thinking, I don't want that.
Then I would turn around, and I would say, Here, here, take this one.
Take this one.
No, no, no, no.
Take this one.
Of course, the old man is next to it.
And the kid I'm playing with says, you're not going to fool me.
And of course, it goes to the next one.
So you're learning strategy.
William F. Buckley says, classic toys enchant with timeless allure, evoking cherished memories.
Each plaything a portal to joyous realms of imagination and nostalgia.
Hear, hear, Bill.
Hear, hear.
BB guns.
Crossman pellet gun.
Crossman pellet gun.
With those little milk cartons with the little double fireworks.
Oh, God.
If you told me right now, Etch-a-Sketch!
Etch-a-Sketch!
The sister made me play Sorry and the old card games.
Yep, Silly Putty!
Copied the funnies.
Remember that?
Hey, look at this.
Remember Super Bowls?
Action figures?
Estes Industries.
Yes, the Rockets.
Launched on Coney Island Beach.
Always went into the ocean.
Yes, you would sit there.
And then...
That was it.
All that work.
Silly Putty.
Estes, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys.
Did you have a bike with a banana seat?
Remember those little baskets?
I had this little tiger thing.
Did you ever put the playing cards inside the spoke?
I don't know what the hell that was for.
Marbles and Jacks.
Shrinky Dinks.
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
Bottle caps.
Wrestling figures.
Spirograph.
That was me.
Our latest generation expects touch interactivity and have no idea what a keyboard or controller is.
Absolutely, Ibrahim.
Absolutely.
It's a different time.
Kids, there's something to be said for that.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Do you have grandkids?
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Milton Friedman.
We're elevating this as classic toys like market forces stand the test of time.
Their enduring appeal mirrors the efficiency and longevity of well-functioning economic systems.
Sir, madam, this has just transcended a level of genius I never thought possible.
Thank you.
This, I don't know what to tell you.
This is incredible.
I want you one time to sit there with your grandkids, especially when they look...
And I love this one.
Teach a math division.
Hey, want a cookie?
Yeah.
Oh, we only have one.
Yeah.
Well, what do we do?
How do we each share it?
What do I do?
Well, how do I cut it?
Cut it in half.
Oh.
So I cut it in half so we each...
Yeah.
You know what that's called?
It's called division.
You're dividing it by two.
One divided by two.
What if we have three people?
That's different.
You divide them into three.
It sounds like a simple concept to you.
Kids understand that.
Because nobody teaches what math means.
They just teach people numbers.
Collecting stamps.
Do you know marshmallows?
Yes, we have in the kitchen a place That is a for philatelists, apparently like yourself, where they sell stamps and collectors and I don't know how they stay in business, but that was something.
Oh, lawn darts, jarts, yes, lawyers, remember that one?
That was the greatest thing in the world, to have this wonderful, this two-pound spiked Propelled dart thrown into the air.
Mastermind was a great game to develop logic.
Yes.
Hula hoops.
I could never do that.
Could never do a hula hoop.
I've never been on skates in my life.
Skateboard I could do.
Not skates.
Had no interest.
Ice skates?
Well, Florida.
No.
Never did skates.
Never, ever.
Had no interest whatsoever.
Didn't do that.
We had slip and slide.
Slip and slide was great.
And then we take soap, like a dish soap.
In addition to that, you run and you just throw in it.
I one time thought, let me see if I can get my relatives.
I put it on the driveway.
You think they would realize this?
You think they would, hey, why don't we do this?
And they're running and they jumped on the driveway.
Well, they did that one time and they realized.
And of course, I outsmarted them.
Magic eight ball.
Liz, isn't that great?
What was this?
Will I pass that test?
Seven.
What the hell does that mean?
This weird thing would float to the top.
This weird thing you could barely...
Do you remember the little candies?
Were you, during Valentine's Day, the little candies you give somebody and you can't really read, you know, what these things say?
Candy mitzvah.
I wasn't a candy person, but it seemed like red hots and things like that.
Edie Crowley says, my granddaughter is thriving, smiling, two weeks home with me.
Yes!
Kiss her.
Love her.
Send her our best.
That's what kids need.
Love.
They need.
When you see a kid smile, oh God, when you see a kid smile or get a joke or laugh at something, it's the most amazing thing in the world.
It's the most important thing in the world.
It's wonderful.
The movie Revolver from 2005, watch it and see how perspective changes the reaction and outcome.
I will do that.
That's excellent.
Candy hearts.
Guitar hero champ here.
Guitar hero.
Remember that one?
Remember guitar hero?
You buy that thing one time.
You buy that one time and you never use it again.
How about getting somebody a real guitar?
How about a real guitar?
Here's Mike's Toy Shop.
Discover at Mike's Toy Shop.
Timeless classics and modern wonders await.
Unleash imagination.
Create memories.
Visit us today.
I want to meet you.
Because I don't know who this is, but it is beyond genius.
There was a place...
What was that place we went to where...
That little toy...
Remember there was a toy store?
That place in a certain city in New Jersey we went to?
Remember that?
We bought a game for...
It was a toy store with actual games.
We used to climb trees for fun.
Yes.
By the way, hula hooping is a great visual.
Oh, Mia, no.
Hula hooping, no.
No, no, no, no.
Climbing a tree, I loved it.
Getting down is the issue.
We had this woman in our neighborhood growing up.
Her name was Mrs. Wiley.
And Mrs. Wiley had a, oh, God, a...
A treehouse.
I mean, it wasn't a treehouse.
I mean, it was like an apartment on top of this thing.
She had these gray trees.
We would go to her house.
All the kids in the neighborhood.
We never asked her.
We just went and she never...
Cared, and we just would go up in this big oak tree, and we'd play up in her thing.
It was the greatest thing ever.
I don't think she...
She would just let us do it, and we just went there, and it was wonderful.
And being kids, we would talk.
We would talk.
I had my first friend ever.
My first friend.
I was five years old.
I think I was five or maybe younger.
I don't even know.
It's weird because sometimes I think I was younger than older.
His name was Eldridge.
That was my first friend.
And we would...
Oh my God, it was so wonderful.
One day, Eldridge burned his...
started a fire.
He liked fires.
And we had a thing called a utility room.
See, in Florida, they have a thing called a Florida room.
I don't know why they call it that.
But that was something.
And it was just, everything was exploring.
Everything was exploring.
And I remember one time, did you or anybody ever have a thing, this must have been 1960...
66?
I don't know.
And his father had Playboy magazine.
So he says, come here.
What is it?
He goes, come here, look at this.
And he thought, what the hell is this?
It was almost, I don't know what it was.
We didn't know.
We knew, but we didn't know.
We knew it wasn't bad, but we knew it was something different.
And it was hidden, and we're breaking some kind of rule.
But we couldn't figure what rule it was.
And it was always like, if somebody would see this, it was like, it was a very, very big deal.
And if you had a bunch of guys, if one person laughed, you knew this guy was not well.
But everybody else looked at this like, hmm, this is interesting.
Eight years old!
And it was so mild!
It was so mild!
That was the whole 60s thing.
Oh!
One thing I loved, did you have one of those wooden big consoles with a stereo, with a big tuner, and in the side where you put your albums, provided your album was only this, this guy's father was kind of like a swinger, and he had like pretty wild, and then he had Rusty Warren.
Remember Rusty Warren?
Knockers up.
Rusty Warren.
I don't know if she's still with us.
Rusty Warren was great.
This was...
Ah, it was a simpler time.
Ah, Rusty Warren.
There she is.
Rusty Warren was an American.
Her name was Eileen Goldman.
Yeah, she died.
She was 91, bless her heart.
Career was...
She worked for Jubilee Records.
Oh, Knockers Up.
That's right.
This was a big one in 1950.
Was recorded in the Golden Falcon, Pompano Beach, Florida, released in 1960.
She was known as the Knockers Up gal.
And she was the mother of the sexual revolution.
Rusty Warren.
She was...
Catherine O 'Hara does a tribute to her in SCTV.
Oh, here we go.
Her albums, Songs for Sinners, Knockers Up, 1960.
Sensational.
Rusty Warren bounces back.
Rusty Warren in orbit.
Band in Boston.
Sexponent.
Rusty sings A Portrait of Life.
More knockers up.
Rusty rides again.
Bottoms up.
Look what I got for you.
This is 1969.
Lays it on the line.
This is on Crescendo Records.
Knockers up.
76. And Sexplosion.
77. They reissued Knockers Up, Bounces Back, and Bottoms Up.
And of course, the singles were Knockers Up, Basin Street, Bounce Your Boobies, Shimmy Like My Sister Kate, Roll Me Over, Do It Now, Twist Blues, I Like Everybody.
One of my favorites, Waltz Me Around, Waltz Me Around Again, Willie.
Greenback Dollar, The Sexy Life, The Pill Song, Surprise, Red River Sally, wonder what that one's about, and Steel Driving Man.
I thought this was the greatest.
I said, what the hell is this?
It was terrific.
By the way, special word from Lionel's Hula Hoops.
Swirl into fun with Lionel's hula hoops, vibrant colors, endless spins, unleash playfulness and fitness in every twist.
Grab yours now.
Thank you for that.
I appreciate this.
Still have a record player in many albums spanning 40 plus years.
Andy says, who else had a parent that smoked cigarettes growing up and could get them for them at the local market when we were kids?
Isn't that interesting?
And they knew your parents.
We used to do this.
I remember one time we would go every year.
Well, pretty much almost every year.
The Youngs.
Oh, I loved them.
Hazel and Dick Young.
They would come to Treasure Island in St. Pete.
And you could tell Treasure Island, they stayed at the trail's end.
When you're on St. Pete Beach, you...
Pinellas County side.
You cross the bridge and there's a big thunderbird.
Still there.
That's the thing.
And we would sit there and they would play cards.
They would close the windows and smoke cigarettes.
I swear to God, we would cry.
And nobody thought about it.
You think this is hurting the kids?
Look at this.
Buying cigars for your dad?
Mine.
Thanks for the asthma, mom and dad.
Those were just...
Catching frogs.
Ah, Hillsborough County.
That's right, Andy.
Remember Lowry Park?
That's where I go.
I wasn't too far from Lowry Park or Larry Park.
I was kind of in the Seminole Heights area.
That was where I lived.
Oh, Heather, I love Treasure Island.
Almost moved there a few years ago.
Yeah, that's a whole other world.
That kind of thing.
I took Mrs. L. Remember when we went down Gulf Boulevard?
Took her from Paso Grill.
Drove all the way up to Clearwater.
It's forever.
All the beaches.
I like West Coast.
Madeira, Reddington, Reddington Shores, Indian Rocks, Indian Shores.
I like Pasa Grill way at the end.
You know where the Don Cesar is?
Ted Peters around Pasadena South, Pasadena Gulfport.
Ted Peters, Smoke Mullet.
All those funky...
That smell, when I smell to this day, when I smell coconut, what am I trying to say, suntan lotion, copper tone and all that, that smell just takes me back.
I don't know why I would think about that.
Centerville, 20 cents a pack.
The goat says, can you imagine using one of those old cigarette machines now that you used to put quarters into?
You'd have to put a whole roll for a pack.
And also, remember when you pull the lever twice, the matches would come if you wanted to do that.
The whole thing with a cigarette going like this.
You know, this whole routine.
Lionel, can you give Skinny Vinny a hand fart for his first First birthday!
Skinny Vinny is one?
Monk from Philly, of course.
Why is he skinny at one?
Is he okay?
That's for you, Skinny Vinny.
Penny Candy.
Packing the Smokes.
Bowling alleys are back.
Yes!
Yes!
Oh, I love them!
Who loves the sound?
When was the last time we bowled, honey?
When was the last time?
I don't even remember.
Bowling?
20 years?
No.
Didn't we bowl one time?
Remember when you walk in and you hear that I love the ball.
And you look and you see 78 and you're all going, where's our lane?
It's all these people.
They've got to buy these shoes.
And you kind of share a little bit of it, you know?
You know, when they did the...
They actually had the card with the paper, and then they would have the overlay where you would write it, and then they did the self-scoring.
I don't particularly care for that.
I like to push the button for the reset as the ball's going down.
And it hits the...
The railing, you know, the reset.
You push, you kind of walk by and as they're watching the perfect strike, here comes the thing.
Ah, the fun we had.
Public ice skating.
Look at this.
Happy first birthday.
Fellow Sagittarius here.
What does a pack of cigarettes cost right now?
Cigarettes.
Listen to this.
In New York City per pack.
Listen to this one.
Ready for this?
No, it's close to 20. How much a pack of cigarettes in New York City?
It's...
Well, they don't tell us.
Price a pack.
In Moscow, the price is 86% cheaper than New York City.
Well, how much is it?
They don't even tell us.
They've got the most incredibly detailed website.
New York has the most expensive...
This must be old.
$10.53.
No, it's more than that.
Yeah, it's more than that.
Somebody fill me in.
How much is cigarettes?
Cigarettes were 15 cents in the machine when I was a kid.
How much is...
I pay $19 in Canada for a pack.
Jeez.
Poor neighborhoods pay more.
And how about Biden trying to get rid of the menthols?
Why?
Yeah.
$10, Arkansas?
Moscow looks pretty.
Just saying.
Alright, I like that.
Stand by for a second, my friends, because this is a very important time for me to mention our great friends.
You know who they are.
My good buddy Mike Lindell at MyPillow.com Let me tell you about my great friends at MyPillow.com.
MyPillow.com.
And by the way, use promo code Lionel.
Use promo code Lionel and receive a free gift.
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And yes, I realize that gifts are free.
It's a tautology.
Get over it.
Sue me!
So what are we talking about?
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And don't forget, Christmas is just around the corner.
And yes, it makes a great stocking stuffer.
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Or call 800-645-4965 if you're OG.
I don't know about you, but I had no plan on talking about this tonight, but I want to thank you because I needed this.
I have been so Absolutely inundated and deluged and dragooned and trunchoned by this heavy duty.
It's just fun.
Everything is exorbitant in Canada.
You know what?
Canada's a wonderful place, I guess.
I don't think they get there.
There always seem to be...
A carton is $100.
Dear God.
Canada gets a bum rap, but I think they're fine, fine people.
Trudeau is another story.
That's another story.
Alright, my friends.
Look at this.
What a wonderful time.
Well, that's it.
You could drive up to Missouri and save some money, but you're going to spend that in gas.
Well, what are you going to do?
One way or the other.
This sometimes is my favorite form of show.
This is it.
Because frankly, when you start talking about Trump, I go crazy.
I go crazy.
Because we get, wait a minute, hold it, hold it.
Because we want the same thing, but for different reasons.
But when it comes to this, and what I'm saying to you now is, we were lucky because we at least were able to appreciate some certain things that...
I don't know.
It's not just being nostalgic.
Everybody knows this question.
What was on your lunchbox?
Remember taking a lunchbox?
Nobody took the bag.
Remember that you take a bag to lunch?
Nah, nah, nah.
You take a lunchbox.
We had this friend of mine who would bring a bag every day and we would get it and he folded it up and brought it home.
It had grease stains on it.
I'm like, what the hell are you doing?
But what was your lunchbox?
What was it?
Look at this.
New York City, $18.99 to $19.99 per pack.
If you could find it.
Oh my God.
Honey, what was your lunchbox?
Well, I had like the red plaid one.
She had the red plaid one.
You've seen that one.
Yeah.
Did you have that little thermos?
Did you ever see the thermos break where the glass breaks?
Yeah, there was a little metal arm that would hold the thermos.
There was really no room for anything.
My box had a picture of a missing child on it.
What?
What?
Lunch bag, sandwich and wax paper.
I did it too.
No lunch box, paper bag.
What's the matter with you?
I always had the state lunch.
Oh, we did something with you.
No, of course not.
How do I say this?
Look at this.
Steve Austin, $6 million man.
Scooby-Doo song is running in my head.
Uh...
Thank you.
Let me see.
Let me see.
It took a couple of collapsed lungs and a surgery to give up cigarettes.
Oh, that's nasty stuff.
In high school, we left every single day.
At my high school, This was the weirdest thing.
We had this thing where you could not leave the campus.
You could not leave the campus, except when you were a senior, one day a week, if you signed out.
We left every day.
At noon, you saw 50 people walking towards the parking lot and leaving.
And the parking lot would be empty.
And then later on, they'd come back.
And nobody was...
You know how we were caught?
Not kind of caught.
One day we said, hey, let's actually go and sign out.
Let's really go sign out.
We've never done it before.
We went in and they said, hey, you've never signed.
And they were kind of on to us.
We just left.
Left.
Every day.
Nobody ever said, where are you going?
I don't know why it's flashing here in this room.
We paid lunches too.
Look at this.
Dukes of Hazzard.
Remember that?
That Daisy Dukes?
And the General Lee and not really good.
We called it a work permit, but back then your deer rifle could be hanging in the back of your truck in the school lot.
Can you believe that?
I heard somebody tell me one time he brought a rifle onto a subway in New York.
There was a shooting club or something.
I'm older than dirt.
We had Snow White, Cinderella, Lady, and the Tramp.
Well, that's our group.
We walked home for Lynch.
Interesting.
I sneak out and back in two.
Yes, there was something about this.
Look at this.
Friday night TV was awesome.
Yes!
Remember back then?
Listen to me back then.
I sound like some Alta Kaka.
Friday night was what, honey?
Remember, it was Wild Wild West.
Love American style.
Well, if you're going, did they meet that Friday night or the wonderful Channel 7 Friday night?
Which is like Full House and all those shows.
Yeah, I'm thinking more Friday night to me was Wild Wild West with remember Artemis Gordon and Jim Remember that scene where he hits her?
Remember the It was the drawing, which was a precursor to the AHA video.
There's one scene where there was a woman, kind of a can-can dancer.
He's kissing her, and she's about to stab him, and he knocks her out.
Remember that one little panel?
Remember they drove?
They had their own train, their own...
You never saw the guy driving the train.
Miguelito Loveless, the dwarf, Michael...
What was his name?
Michael Dunn.
Remember him?
I'm talking about that.
It's my show.
Remember Woe Fat?
I'm sorry.
Don Kirshner's Rock and Roll.
Sunday night, Disney movie.
Sunday night was Ed Sullivan.
Wonderful World of Disney.
Mutual of Omaha.
And it was only on for four seasons.
Don't know what.
Star Trek was playing somewhere on TV.
Went to Catholic girls schools.
Didn't get out at all.
Poor JoJo.
Bless her heart.
Oh my God.
Don Kirshner's rock concert and it was a midnight special.
Midnight special was Wolfman Jack, I think, and then Don Kirshner.
This is Don Kirshner's rock concert.
Paul Schaefer did a wonderful imitation of him.
That was late.
Laughing was...
Remember when Nixon was on?
Suck it to me.
That was considered risque.
Alan Seuss.
I love that.
I'm sorry.
I'm just rambling.
I'm just rambling.
A-team.
I'm just rambling.
You understand this?
When I first came to New York years ago, I went to the Carnegie Deli.
And the great Sandy Levine says, where do you want your picture?
It was right over the cashier.
It said, right there.
And it was George Pappard.
They took George Pappard down, like two days later he died.
It was weird.
It was very, very weird.
Fantasy, alright, that's enough.
My friends, I want to thank you for this.
We could go on and on.
We've been talking an hour and five minutes.
You are wonderful.
I needed this.
You brought me out of this Funk from this world that we live in.
Thank you for this.
Don't forget, my friends, please.
This is...
Let me see.
Is this the one?
I want you to go right now again.
Please watch this.
Great.
You will love this wonderful, wonderful...
This is not great.
Kat DeLorean and Mrs. L. Look how beautiful Mrs. L is.
Unbelievable.
That's my rusty one right there.
Let me tell you right now.
Hey!
Hold on.
We're going to play knockers up, honey.
We're going to...
Knockers up.
Hang on.
I just lost you.
Where did you go?
There we go.
All right.
This is it right there.
Please listen to it.
It's fantastic.
All right, dear friends.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you all.
You're fantastic.
80. Kiss your granddaughter.
Skinny Vinny in Philly, whatever it is, that's for you, big guy.
Thank you.
Ric Flair brought him out of his funk.
That's correct.
All right, your friends, have a great and glorious day.
See you tomorrow at 8 a.m. as per usual, usual time.
And don't forget, as we always say, as we always say, as we always wave goodbye, the monkey's dead, the show's over, sue ya.
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