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Oct. 20, 2023 - Lionel Nation
01:05:03
The Befuddled Incoherence of Biden and His "Team"

The Befuddled Incoherence of Biden and His "Team"

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Joe Biden is a befuddled coot.
A dotard.
It's pathetic.
And I blame you.
And I blame me and I blame the system for allowing this imbecile, this absolute imbecile, to be involved in levels of this.
It's an embarrassment.
You hear what I'm saying?
And it's pathetic.
That we allow this.
It's pathetic that we live in a world where this is even remotely possible.
It's pathetic.
And I blame you.
And I blame me.
And I blame this stupid system that allows this.
This poltroon.
This blatteroon.
This chooch.
Here he is.
They have pictures.
By the way, it may not be his fault.
Showing basically Delta Force and Special Forces and Instagram pictures when they met.
What in the world is happening to us?
We are so stupid!
Stupid!
Did you hear the latest also?
They're finding out now that, hey, you know, there's two, three, and me, all of these idiots who decided, hey, take my DNA.
Hey, look, I'm Scottish!
Hey, look!
Because I'm an idiot!
I'm an idiot!
I don't even know where to start anymore!
The level of discussion regarding Middle East, West Asia, Israel, forget it!
It's the same stuff over and over again!
And you!
How do you do it?
How do you not lose your mind?
Maybe you have.
How do you not think to yourself, dear God, how much worse can this get?
How much worse can this get?
That's the story.
That's the question.
My friends, I welcome you.
I say a little hearty hello and a high old silver to you.
God bless you, all of you.
Wonderful, great, glorious, crazy, wacky, lunatic.
People, you're just nuts!
I love you.
You keep sticking in there.
You keep holding on.
Let me try in English now.
Let me say, first of all, thank you for subscribing.
Look at that.
I even did that.
Thank you for subscribing.
And I want you to subscribe to this.
If you haven't subscribed, I don't know what the hell's the matter with you.
You got to make sure you follow me too on that there X thing, that Twitter.
You understand this?
You understand this?
Make sure you also hit that notification bell.
Okay?
That's very important.
I did a couple live streams that were early.
People said, I'm going to get notified because you got to hit the bell.
You understand this?
And I did a brand new, oh, this was a beauty.
I did a slew, a slew of Private channel stuff today.
I mean, a lot of it.
A lot.
And I wanted to, let me see, bring this, let me see, where is it here?
This you've got to do.
Because, you know, I'm far saltier.
I don't like cursing.
I'm not a big cursor.
But I speak much more exotically, dare I say.
When I'm on my own time.
And I don't have to worry about it.
And you've noticed.
You can't say certain things.
You know what I mean?
Look at Heather.
Heather says, this is my new fave show.
Lionel is effing hilarious.
You're right about that.
Used to say hysterical.
Now it's hilarious.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It's so...
I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
By the way, sports fans, another thing too, we might want to make sure you know this, that February 3rd, I'm going to be hitting the stage again.
Oh yeah, baby!
At the cutting room, I love that.
Because some of the people sometimes in the bar section say, what the hell is this guy talking about?
Get a little guitar, play some...
The Q&A, it's weird.
I did stand-up comedy for years.
I hated it.
And I hate stand-up comedians!
I hate them!
They're not funny!
It's interesting.
Have you noticed how there's too many stand-up comics?
Have you noticed this?
Have you noticed this?
And also, by the way, one more thing.
Let me tell you about this one.
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All right.
Thank you for letting me get that out of the way.
Thank you for letting me do this.
Let's talk about some things.
Can I tell you about a story which I find is terrific?
You ready for this?
I use the word hate.
I really don't hate anybody.
Hate is a word I use.
I admit I use it too much.
But what are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
Well, there's a guy that I don't really hate him.
I don't know him.
I don't really know him.
But I...
His name is Jon Stewart.
And he's a pot.
He's an asshole.
What?
He's a culo, a cloaca.
He's a gaping fool.
And he had this Apple show called The Problem with Jon Stewart.
It debuted...
Some fanfare.
He is what we call in the business a schmuck.
He's a schmuck.
He had the best show on.
Seriously, I thought he had the best show on at the time.
He invented late night stuff.
He really did this.
He was fantastic.
Great writers, great pacing, great all that stuff.
It's fantastic.
And he quits right before Trump.
He's a schmuck.
He's a putz!
He's a poltroon, a bladderoon, a jadrool, a chooch, an idiot, a Boeotian, a dimwit, a dullard, a bladder skite, and a vacuous, vapid, void, vacant idiot!
Who thought, I'm going to produce a story.
I'm going to be a producer.
I'm going to direct.
This movie, nobody saw some Indian guy.
I don't know what the hell he was talking about.
Because he's your schmuck!
He was okay, but when you do something that works, you don't leave.
It's called the David Caruso effect.
Here's a guy who never did this.
Our friend Eric Darius Walter says, Blinken was protective of Joe's Peter Griffin chin on Air Force One.
Touche!
As he luridly lurked in the bathroom.
USA is both an embarrassment and now a liability for the world.
Indeed, Eric.
Indeed.
Well, you know, I know, Eric, I'm being catty, but I'm going to continue doing this.
Why I can't stand Jon Stewart.
First and foremost, let me explain something to you.
Remember this, okay?
Remember this.
Please.
Please.
Listen to me.
Never take yourself seriously.
You are nothing.
You are nothing.
You are just a bunch of protoplasm.
You ever had the worst case of some intestinal bug?
Something that just ripped you up?
And down and turned you inside out and made you realize, oh my god, I am just an animal.
And it made you say, okay, Mr. Big Shot, what do you put a little cologne there?
Watch that!
And you're going to say, whoa!
Never be hubristic.
Never take yourself seriously.
You're an animal.
You're insignificant.
Go to the cemetery.
See all those people?
Cemeteries are filled with indispensable men, as someone once said.
So here comes Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart says, wow, I'm big!
I'm big!
I'm a big shot!
I'm a big shot!
Yeah!
Yeah!
And I'm going to do this thing with an apple.
They say, you're lucky, because nobody remembers who you are.
And when you leave Earth's orbit for a while, they kind of forget you.
You lose your cachet.
You lose your, whatever it was that you had, you lose it.
Okay, so he goes away and he comes back.
If you're going for sweeps, you're history.
You're starting all over again.
Start all over again.
That's a desert rose band in tone.
Okay, so he does this thing, the problem.
So guess what?
Schmucko says, we have a disagreement.
I wanted to talk about China.
And they won't let me talk about China, or so they story, or artificial intelligence.
And they said, no, sweetheart, I'm not going to be hamstrung.
You know why?
Because you're a schmuck!
You're an idiot!
Fine, don't talk about China.
Talk about the other 99,000 things.
Oh no, I'm Jon Stewart.
Nobody tells me what to do, because you're a schmuck!
You could have talked about a million things.
Fentanyl.
Child predation.
Whatever happened to feminism?
Hey, ladies, where is feminism?
Where did you go?
What happened?
What the hell's happening here?
I don't understand it.
What happened?
What happened to Me Too?
What happened?
I don't know.
You could talk about that.
You could talk about, where's Hunter Biden?
They forgot about Hunter Biden.
Remember that?
Remember Miranda Devine?
And we had...
I can't do an Aussie accent.
The laptop from hell!
Nobody cares!
Get the hell!
Get out of here!
What are you talking about?
How about that big Sidney Powell?
We're going to release the Kraken!
They charge you with like 90 counts of...
Racketeering?
Please do a misdemeanor!
Illegal parking or something.
It's just...
Please!
Please!
Everywhere we are, everywhere we are in the world, my friend, it's nuts.
It's crazy.
It doesn't matter.
It's insanity.
Okay.
So going back to this Jon Stewart thing, I told you the story, right?
I told you the story.
There's a guy who you would recognize his voice.
You would know his name.
But he's doing this.
He's very, very famous.
A friend of mine said, hey, I noticed on Twitter I've been blocked.
He said, yes, my friend.
Palestine is my red line.
First of all, I don't give a shit about this guy.
So I said, you're a red line.
What the hell are you talking about?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think I am?
What, did I not say the right thing about...
And if I did, who the hell do I think...
Who am I?
I didn't say the right thing about Palestine.
Okay.
And you didn't do...
Who the hell do you think you are?
Who are...
Where are you?
What are you talking about?
We're just doing this thing.
I know two people.
One, I didn't say enough about Israel.
And the other one, I didn't say enough about Palestine.
This is the story of my life.
I don't care.
Be gone.
Get out of my life.
You drive me nuts with these people.
Don't take yourself so seriously.
Here's the best part.
Nobody's asking you about Palestine?
Or Israel?
Nobody.
You don't have to make up your mind, and thank God for that.
It's the most incredible story in the world.
I love this.
Who do we think we are?
My notes, by the way.
Who do we think we are?
This is another one, too.
I love this one.
We've got to get rid of these anti-Semites on college campuses.
Why?
Because they say some terrible things about Israel.
Well, why are they anti-Semites?
Because they, you know, no, they might be idiots.
I don't understand this.
Why are they anti-Semites?
Because they say Israel did nothing.
Wait a minute.
I may not agree with them, but you can be against it.
Did you see these Jews in the Capitol Rotunda who were basically saying, Not under our name.
They were complaining themselves.
Are they anti-Semites?
What are you talking about?
We use these words all the time.
Racist.
No!
They're against the policies of Israel.
They're not anti-Semitic.
This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life.
I don't understand it.
Why is it anti-Semitic?
It doesn't make any sense.
They just use these terms.
So anyway, they're doing nothing.
I guess it's okay to say this.
Now, there are some people who are just idiots.
This is the most important thing in the world.
Do you know what I find even more fascinating than all this other kind of stuff?
There are these people who get on and they're teachers.
Or they're doctors, or they work for Homeland Security, or whatever it is.
And they get on, and they don't just say, well, I can certainly understand a problem involved in the such and such, blah, blah, blah, thing regarding, you know, Gaza.
Oh, no.
No, that's not good.
What they say, what they say is, and the bloodiness, and the hatred, and I'm glad.
Why are you doing this?
Why are you doing this?
What is the purpose of this?
Because it's this Karen mentality.
You just can't go on and say, well, I'm, you know.
No!
You've got to hate people and you've got to just pull the scab off and you've got to risk your entire career and your life to say these things.
Why?
Why?
Because you're a schmuck!
Who thinks like this?
Rafael Legonde says, Sir, do we have a William F. Buckley still around?
Yes, but not in this country.
I don't know if we have anybody.
He was of a different class.
He reminds me, he and Gore Vidal Were my favorites.
I still listen to them.
I still love them.
I still live to this lyricism, the way they speak, the way they're masters of erudition.
Even George Plimpton, you do know, you do know, correct?
There was something called the Mid-Atlantic Accent.
The Mid-Atlantic Accent.
The Mid-Atlantic accent was a contrived, arranged, pretend, affected, deliberate form of accent that was taught at prep schools and finishing schools and the like.
And it was a kind of a phony...
It was like a phony British.
It was like a, hello darling, I...
Kitty Carlisle, hello, yes, I...
Yes.
Victor Davis Hanson, I do not believe, is a William F. Buckley.
I think he's an extremely good...
I wish he would tell us more about the classics.
Somebody says, I don't think he is.
William F. Buckley was a master of everything.
Yeah, I think it's a good issue.
Hitchens was no good.
His brother doesn't have it.
Some people have.
It was a different attitude.
It was also one of this notion of being polite and gracious and learned.
We don't have that anymore.
Because we have a bunch of judge rules who In fact, if you were to spend any amount of time, dare I say, waxing sesquipedalian or seeking to find the Logo Daedalus in you, you would be rebuffed.
You would be execrated by virtue of your logomancy.
And you're, in any event.
So, no, no, no.
But, so here's another story.
And I want to talk about this, which is so interesting.
I think it is.
The notion of being, you're saying you're anti-Semitic.
I want to explore that with you, shall we?
May we do this?
Okay.
What I believe the term denotes is an a priori predetermined loathing, hatred, dislike, revulsion, disinclination towards approval of Jewish and Jewish people because they are Jewish.
Because of that.
Okay?
Now hear me out.
Because you're Jewish.
Not that you happen to be Jewish.
Not that you're dealing with an issue that...
But because you're Jewish.
Somebody said years ago, you know, I think that there are...
They thought that...
Jews made up an inordinate number of folks in the, let's say, the banking business or whatever it was.
And this was the same.
That's anti-Semitic.
Wait a minute.
I'm not saying it negatively.
I'm saying it's...
I had no animus involved.
You see what I had?
And I intended to say, wait a minute.
It's the intent.
It's not what you say.
I think the NBA is absolutely crawling with African-American players.
It's filled with...
Okay, that might be the wrong way of saying it, but would I be wrong?
No!
It's true!
Look at the proportion.
Yes, but it's racist.
No, it's not.
I'm talking about a subject that you're going crazy about.
It's true!
We mentioned some before about stand-up comedy, okay?
And there's a...
I used to do it, and I just don't...
Believe it or not, you have got to be...
You never see this.
But if ever you can see somebody you like, somebody mentioned Bill Burr, I think he's very good.
Watch a Bill Burr, watch Chappelle, watch anybody.
Watch them two shows in a row.
If they do a two-show thing, not the big ones, but the two, if you can do a back-to-back, you won't believe the show's identical.
It's identical.
You work each word, each phrase, each pause.
You've done it so many times.
You know exactly how people respond.
You know exactly.
So then she came in and I said, and it works.
I'm going to do that again tomorrow night.
So I walked in and I said, and that's it.
The pause.
You say this.
The double take.
The look.
Pointing somebody.
Where are you from?
Cleveland.
And nobody said Cleveland, but you don't know this.
People are saying, I didn't hear Cleveland.
What do you mean Cleveland?
Cleveland?
It's fine.
Okay.
And there's a certain art and there's a certain whatever it is, but it's very, very, that's why what I want to do is, I don't even want it to, I want it to be It's not a stand-up company.
People write cards.
They write questions.
We talk about stuff.
Anyway, anyway.
So to make a long story short.
So one day we were there, and it was at the time years ago, I remember I was at the bar where this guy was somewhere in Long Island.
I'm talking to the club owner, and we're talking, and it was at the time that either Roseanne, not Roseanne, Rosie O'Donnell or Ellen or somebody came out or whatever it was, and he said, I'll never forget this.
I don't know if this is true or not, but this is what he said.
He said, you know, most of the time you'll see people who are...
This is what he said.
I'm not saying it's true.
I'm just telling you.
This is what he said.
The guys own more clubs than you can imagine.
He said, most of the female comics, he said, are gay.
I said, that's interesting.
He said, it's not at all unlikely.
He said, and one of the reasons why he believes that's true, his idea, he posited, was he said that he believes that stand-up...
Or being on a stage is a very aggressive type of thing.
And we tend to use terms aggressive to imply behaviors that are normally involved in masculine types of behaviors.
So it was a thought.
It was not made in any way negatively.
It wasn't a slight.
It was just a conversation.
Let me ask you this question.
Are you racist?
Are you racist?
Are you racist?
Thank you.
Are you?
Come on!
Are you racist?
Are you racist?
And by the way, you mentioned Norm Macdonald.
Norm Macdonald, to many people, is what Carlin was and Richard Pryor was to us.
They were more...
Now, I never...
Ever, ever deny anybody.
I never say, you're wrong.
I never got the Norm MacDonald thing.
I thought he was okay.
I thought...
But never what people thought.
Never even remotely close to the greatness, the bravery.
Sometimes, whatever.
And it's fine.
It's one of those things where I just...
It's one of those things.
Some people don't like mushrooms.
When humor hits you...
It's not really humor, but his performance is something that is very, very personal.
The album, what I remember that changed my absolute life, Jerry Seinfeld said it, others, was Robert Klein, Child of the 50s.
Greatest comedy album.
I laughed so hard.
And then years later, Robert Klein was, I have this picture I'm very, very proud of.
I opened for Robert Klein, Dick Gregory, and Mort Saul.
Wow.
And Robert Klein, I thought, was a genius.
Robert Klein was one of the smartest people.
And then, it turns out, and I've had him on my show.
Well, Robert Klein did not.
Particularly care for my politics.
Or what he believed my politics to be.
And basically one time, and I've got it somewhere, an email.
Well, suffice it to say, it wasn't exactly flattering.
Now this is my hero.
Basically telling me that I am, you know, whatever.
Which is fine.
Everybody's entitled to their opinion.
I love that.
I thrive on that.
I thrive.
I thrive on people.
I love being over the target.
I love it.
I've loved it my whole life.
If people agree with me, there's nothing more like, eh.
No.
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That's brilliant, by the way.
So anyway, let me ask this question.
Are you racist?
Let me ask you a question.
Flat out.
Flat out.
Imagine the situation.
Hey, there's some new people moving in.
Really?
Yeah.
In your neighborhood?
Yeah, okay.
Let's say he's a white guy.
Really?
Yeah.
They're black.
What?
They're black.
They're black.
Okay, is that good or bad?
I see a look of alarm on your face.
Well, you're a racist.
Wait a minute.
I didn't say anything about it.
Well, you're not exactly happy.
I'm not exactly happy, but I'm not.
You're a racist.
Is there anything negative about that?
And what if the person said, I think there might be?
I think, they used to say this in the old days, you've heard this, property values may go down.
Or I don't know.
Do they have kids?
That's another one too.
They moved, they got kids.
They got kids?
What do you hate, kids?
Now, this person that I just said, and I just told this to, this guy, Let's assume I said, oh, I forgot to tell you.
The family, the person that's living next to you?
Yeah.
It's Denzel Washington.
What?
It's Denzel Washington.
Denzel Washington is moving in?
Oh, that's great.
Wait a minute.
You were just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is terrific.
This is, wow.
I'm going to tell everyone, hey, guess who my neighbor is?
Or let's say there's a Michael Jordan or somebody.
So it's not the black or the race.
It was the class.
It was who it is.
See, a real racist would say, I don't care who it is.
I don't want someone.
No!
No!
I've asked this question.
What if I said, hey, your daughter comes up and says, guess what?
I'm going to marry a black man.
What?
Denzel Washington.
Wait a minute.
You see?
It's not what you think.
Necessarily.
Raphael Legonde said, Dick Gregory, was he that well-connected?
Well-connected?
I don't know if he was well-connected, but he was absolutely unabashedly one of the most incredible...
What he did, by the way, not only in terms of his work with the Playboy Club, He also changed his life.
He got into juicing and fasting, running.
He changed people's diets.
He was incredible.
Not exactly the best family man, from what I heard.
His family said I never saw him.
But as far as being significant, absolutely.
See, it's one thing when you can be a comedian.
Another thing when you were significant, when you really did this.
Red Fox during his days.
The Chitlin Circuit.
Red Fox was enormous.
Red Fox.
Flip Wilson.
Anybody who breaks through on TV, I still think, irrespective of what anybody says about his prior life and his criminal trials, which are horrible, Bill Cosby was great.
He stole acts from people.
Lord Buckley and others as well.
If you look at how things have changed and how...
There was a time when some of these comedians were profound.
Lenny Bruce.
We don't have them anymore.
You know why?
Because there's so many acts?
There's a million people talking.
What does Dave Chappelle do other than Dave Chappelle?
Let me ask you a question.
Dave Chappelle, his show was brilliant.
Brilliant.
Remember the thing he did with John Mayer and the guitar and the whatever?
Brilliant.
He did things.
There was the N-word family.
Brilliant.
The blind Klansman who was black.
Brilliant.
His acting abilities, his ability to tell the story, to do voices.
That's what Richard Pryor did.
Richard Pryor did his voice, his mud bone, and I just loved it.
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
That was...
Yet, there were people I used to hear in the old days where I never got Milton Berle.
Milton Berle was the biggest thing anybody ever saw.
Milton Berle, Mr. Television.
Milton Berle was responsible.
He sold more televisions than anybody.
Milton Berle!
And I don't know what he did in drag and all that.
And you know what Milton Berle was known for?
I'm sure you do.
I'm sure you do.
Remember the old joke?
Milton Berle was...
How do I say this in a nice way?
He was known as being menschelet.
Okay, capisce?
Menchulant.
Okay?
Hyperpenility.
Okay?
You got it?
You got it?
So there was a story where they were in a steam room or something.
And there were other people.
Forrest Tucker and there's all these stories.
Anyway.
But Milton Berle when the story goes, Milton Berle was in a steam room with a towel and somebody said, alright.
Once and for all, let's see if I, in essence, can measure up more than you.
And the punchline was, oh, come on, Milton.
Just pull out enough until you win.
That's Milton Berle.
That's what he was really known for more, to me, as comedy.
But at the time, he was bigger than anything else.
Silver Fox says, Tim Conway and Harvey Korman were hysterical together.
If you think...
If you think, I don't know what that means.
I don't know.
I can't tell you.
I can't tell you if you like something.
By the way, Walgreens pharmacy services allow you to conveniently fill prescriptions, chat with the pharmacist, set reminders and more.
Thank you, Walgreens.
I think this is the funniest stuff in the world.
I can never tell you what's funny.
I can't tell you.
If you laugh at something, if you like the way something tastes, the way something smells, if you like a song, if you like any of this stuff, I can't tell you.
It's up to you.
It's something that I don't know what it does.
Let me tell you a little bit of history.
Bob Newhart, the button-down mind of Bob Newhart, Changed records.
First comedy album really anybody ever saw.
I think it was CBS or something.
They said, how are you doing a comedy album?
It was one of the biggest selling ones anybody's ever seen.
Absolutely monstrous.
Bob Newhart.
I'll tell you one more for you.
Perspective.
Think about it this way.
One of the biggest, and I will tell you right now, in Oh, look at this.
Abbott and Costello.
Are they still the best duo?
Certainly for that vaudeville sound, kind of that who's on first kind of a thing, maybe.
I don't know if we have that.
We don't really have duos anymore.
Remember Burns and Schreiber, Abbott and Costello, Ferranti and Teicher.
Just kidding.
The biggest star ever, just like Sugar Ray Robinson was the best boxer pound for pound, no doubt about it.
Biggest star ever.
Ever.
And there were some biggies.
Chaplin.
Chaplin was bigger than anything you can imagine.
But he was one, you know, still, still chaplain.
Um...
But the biggest, the biggest ever, pound for pound, was Bing Crosby.
Radio.
Music.
Sheet music.
Movies.
Concerts.
Acting.
He did everything.
He did everything.
Um...
Everything.
Buster Keaton.
Buster Keaton, please see anything you can imagine on Buster Keaton.
Buster Keaton was unbelievable.
Harold Lloyd, he did things through illusion.
Harold Lloyd did not hang from, not what you think.
I look at stuff now in terms of the minimalistic, kind of the atomistic version of it.
John McGuire couldn't get either.
He says, I think by Milton Berle and Tim Conway, it triggered the AI to post pharmacy ads.
Let's talk about Gregory Peck and see if prune juice ad pops up.
Remember years ago?
June Allison?
What do you think of with June Allison?
What's the thing you think of with her the most?
Depends.
Remember that poor June Allison?
Hello, I'm June Allison.
I see things In terms of what they are not, for example, I know you're not going to agree with me.
Taylor Swift is bigger than anything you can imagine.
What Taylor Swift did, people...
By the way, can you imagine the NDA?
This guy had to sign this.
You know how she's now created...
Remember how years ago, the Kardashians and others found NBA players were the cause celebs.
Remember that?
Remember that?
It was NBA.
Now it's NFL.
Thanks to Taylor Swift.
You know her.
I'm not going to tell you her story, but what we know in the blinds and the backs...
Anyway.
We know this stuff.
The Hugh Jackman stories now, you're going to be hearing about it.
Hugh Jackman.
Come on.
This is so old.
It doesn't even matter.
But anyway, I don't really care about that.
It doesn't really matter.
Whatever your sexuality is, it doesn't matter to me.
One way or the other.
But, um...
I want you to be able to look at things sometimes and not necessarily ask yourself whether you agree with it.
I don't think I'm not.
I wasn't that big of a Beatles fan.
But there was nothing like the Beatles.
Beatles changed everything.
Beatles changed everything.
Everything.
Everything.
I have a simple test.
You know what it is?
Let me tell you.
I have this thought experiment.
I have a machine where I take the whole I take recorded history as it is.
This is recorded music history.
Cultural history, recording music, whatever it is.
And I go back in time and I take them out of the equation.
I remove them.
I splice it together and I run the tape and listen to it now.
What would the world sound like if there never had been a Beatles?
You would hear a difference.
That's how you know you're big.
That's how you know you're big.
There were people who were big, but they didn't change anything.
They changed things in terms of maybe the popularity.
Rudy Valli was enormous, but he didn't change anything.
Please listen to Al Jolson.
Oh my god.
Kate, not Kate Smith.
Ethel Merman.
Ethel Merman at one time I think she had two, no.
She was the queen of Broadway.
She was it!
She was the first one because she was so loud because they didn't have microphones.
She was a loud voice.
And I think she had one one She was the biggest thing anybody's ever seen.
In her biography, she has this picture of this page.
Her marriage to Ernest Borgnine.
And it's a blank page.
Raphael DeGande says she is bigger than Michael Jackson in the 80s.
She is not bigger than...
Well, I gotta tell you something.
I...
I don't know.
Okay, here's my question.
You ready for this?
Very simple question.
Very simple.
This is my favorite kind of a bar room without a bar room kind of a question.
Michael Jackson or Prince?
Who was better?
Michael Jackson or Prince?
Think about it.
Michael Jackson or Prince?
Who would it be?
Who would it be?
Heather says, think Taylor Swift sold her soul.
Sold her soul, sold everything.
She's a gazillionaire.
I'll sell my soul too.
And her father buys the trucking company?
Oh my God, they make more money.
Come on, Michael Jackson or Prince?
Prince, Prince, MJ, Prince.
Come on.
Who is it?
Come on.
Come on.
Who is it?
Who is it?
Come on.
Come on.
Talent, Prince.
Well, what are we talking about?
Prince.
Come on.
Most is easy.
The answer is Prince.
But Liz Solak, that's it.
Say no more.
If Liz says it, I'm in.
I'm in.
But here's the deal.
Michael Jackson.
Longevity?
Michael Jackson wasn't normal, in many respects, right?
The dancing, I've never seen anything like that.
I don't know if I've ever seen anything, anybody dance, because I can't dance.
Remember what Cicero said, no sane man will dance.
I have not seen anything.
Look at this.
Rafael says, easy.
MJ was a music savant.
I might have been a savant.
But he could just sing and he could dance, but he was not.
Prince was...
First of all, I don't think anybody realized how great his guitar playing was.
He was a musician.
I personally would rather hear Michael Jackson.
I think his songs, his talent, what he did with Quincy Jones, I kind of like it.
But I think pound for pound, Prince.
Absolutely.
Prince isn't even normal.
But, but, but, Michael Jackson dancing?
Did you ever see anybody dance like this?
Ever?
And by the way, he wasn't the first to do the moon dance.
They did this in the 30s.
That's not it.
There are some people who dance better than anybody else.
Michael Jackson, of course.
John Travolta can do...
John Travolta can stand next to you.
Do this, and he'll look better.
He just goes like this.
He has something.
I don't know what it is.
Some great dancers.
Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go's.
Prince could play all the instruments.
Absolutely.
Sparky's got that right.
Absolutely.
Prince was...
But Belinda Carlisle, he was a great dancer, Goldie Hawn.
She was in...
We were in like a...
Nail Place one day.
Goldie Hawn.
I didn't say anything to her.
Goldie Hawn's a great answer.
Oh!
Natalie Merchant.
Remember Natalie Merchant would do this?
What are you doing?
She was spinning around.
Stevie Nicks couldn't do it.
Nicholas Brothers.
Stop it.
Sparky, stop it.
Nicholas Brothers weren't even human.
Nicholas Brothers.
Weren't human!
Did you ever see Tap?
The movie with Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis Jr.?
Oh!
How about who has heard?
Please make sure you get a hold of this.
In fact, I'll find it for you.
You're going to thank me for this.
Have you ever seen...
Well, you've got to find it yourself.
It is Gregory Hines.
And Stanley Clark.
Think of us on the Arsenio Hall show.
Arsenio Hall brings out the board, like a plywood thing.
Gregory Harris is tap dancing.
And Stanley Clark is playing, you know, that piccolo bass or Olympic or whatever he's playing.
It's the most incredible thing in the world.
Watch them play together.
A tap dancer and a bass player.
It's incredible.
By the way, Electric Bass, Jocko, Stanley Clark, Bootsy, Jameson from Motown.
Oh, some others.
Tyran Porter from the Doobies, great.
Oh, Joe Osborne from the Wrecking Crew.
Oh my god, he did all the stuff for the Fifth Dimension.
The stand-up bass player who worked with Nick Drake.
I could talk bass forever.
Sparky says, Prince and MJ were both victims of prescription drugs, fentanyl and chlorohydrate.
I even heard some other stuff too, but that is very, very sad.
And I believe they were both born, I know Michael Jackson was in 1958 club.
I think Prince was too.
Was Prince born?
Prince birthed.
I think it was, yep, 58. The 58 club was Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince, Angela Bassett, Alec Baldwin.
I don't think they're going to charge him again.
But anyway.
Let me tell you something, what I saw.
Ready for this?
Let me tell you what I saw one time.
When I was a kid, my grandmother wanted to take me to see, I didn't really understand this, the Lawrence Welk Band.
And I thought, oh, dear God.
Because my parents, you know, dropped us off at the grandparents' house, and we'd have to watch Lawrence Welk.
My life changed.
I never saw a band so tight reading charts like you.
And I was a kid and I knew it.
I thought, I'm seeing genius.
I'm seeing genius.
This is something that is so great.
When you tell people who aren't spoiled, they laugh at you.
Raphael says, however, let us elevate the conversation.
Willie Nelson is a far better musician, writer, composer than both combined.
Willie Nelson?
Well, I got a news for you.
One time, Raphael, and by the way, I thank you for this, and it's a great opinion.
One time I was on the Don Imer show, and I said, Willie Nelson is the worst guitar player.
His leads are horrible.
I don't know what that is on Trigger, playing a Martin classic.
It's horrible.
His singing is fantastic because of his particular style and the way he does it.
And Imer's went crazy.
He's a great guitar player.
I said, you're out of your mind.
Look, you can see him as a great...
Guitar, that style he plays, horrible.
Horrible.
But anyway, if you want to hear a Willie Nelson album, please go back and listen to the collaborations he did with Leon Russell when he was doing the classics, Tenderly, Don't Fence Me In.
His Stardust album changed everything.
Stardust changed everything.
My dad and I would play Stardust, because it was his music, and Willie made it cool.
Lester and Chester, Chet Dottakins and Les Paul.
Oh my god!
Have you heard that?
I loved when I could bring something in where my parents would love it.
My mother was far cooler, because she turned me on to Bossa Nova and things, but I listen to stuff right now.
There are musicians.
Let me tell you something right now.
You listen to me carefully.
There are musicians today, thanks to YouTube, that are just ungodly.
And there are young women from all over the world who can play their ass off.
Have you ever seen this little Japanese girl?
There's a number of them playing drums like eight years old.
Natural talent.
There's something so beautiful to see somebody take an instrument And they just take off.
Throughout these times, what keeps me going is music.
In the morning, I start off and I hear something.
Before the lights go on, when it's still dark outside, and I say, this sets my tone for the day.
Sparky says, when he was a band leader in the 30s, Lawrence Welk and his band were considered too edgy.
You know what?
That could very well be.
I always wondered how Sparky, how Lawrence Welk had an accent.
He was born in this country.
Was it North Dakota, South Dakota?
Thank you, boys.
And now Joanne Fee, Joanne Castle.
Remember Bobby Burgess and Joanne?
Sissy King?
Remember Arthur Duncan, the Black Tap?
Terrific.
Buddy?
Was it Buddy?
Not Buddy Merrill.
Great!
Jim Hooper.
No, Hooper.
Was it Jim Hubbard?
The guy with a voice.
Joe Feeney.
Let me tell you something.
Thank you, boys.
And now here's Norma Simmer playing the tap dancing tonight.
It's going to be our tribute to Vaseline.
Here we go.
And a one.
Geritol.
I love that stuff.
I can watch that now.
But here's the thing.
Don't get stuck in the past.
Don't get stuck.
Just understand how things work.
I love this one all of a sudden.
This is very good.
Trump is one of the most powerful men in the world.
There's people like him that rule the world.
They control government.
Usually from the outside, Trump is a maverick.
Agreed.
100%.
100%.
Ooh, listen to this line.
This is a great line.
Look at this.
Prince changed music.
Michael Jackson changed the future.
I saw the Jacksons in their last tour when it was...
I think when even Randy was with them.
The Jacksons, by the way, were first to do videos.
Remember Blaming on the Boogie and all this stuff?
That was...
Mike Nesmith, by the way.
By the way, the Beatles did it and Cab Calloway did it.
I love grape.
Have you heard Gil Scott Heron?
Gil Scott Heron.
Lady Day and John Coltrane.
Johannesburg.
The Revolution Will Be Televised.
The Bottle.
Oh my God.
He said, Gil Scott Heron.
He said, 1L.
Two Ts, no I. Heron versus heroin.
Got it.
Gil Scott Heron.
He's the most beautiful.
Fender Rhodes, beautiful.
Beautiful.
Donny Hathaway, Fender.
Valdez in the country, beautiful.
Fender Rhodes, first is the Clavinet.
Remember the Clavinet?
Are you kids, were you around for that?
Greatest Clavinet ever.
By the way, greatest Clavinet.
Ronnie Laws, always there.
Silver Fox says, John Entwistle, Chris Squire, Paul McCartney, Geddy Lee, I played a Rickenbacker 4001 bass in a rock band from 75 to 80. You must be tired.
Entwistle, recreated, played a different style.
Chris Squire with a Rickenbacker, phenomenal.
With yes, Paul McCartney, great.
Geddy Lee, watch Geddy Lee.
Play, do roundabout.
Play the bass for Chris Squire's bass in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction of Yes were fantastic.
Playing roundabout.
Watch Geddy Lee.
Watch his style.
Another one nobody will ever give any credit to.
Peter Cetera.
Unbelievable bass player.
Terry Catt.
My personal favorite guitar player.
Great bass player.
Glenn Campbell, bass player.
Bass is a different story.
A different story.
And the one that you've got to, the most understated, James Jamerson.
He died in 83. Motown, he was just incredible.
James Jamerson was.
I could just sit back and see how people change everything.
I was listening the other day to old Wes Montgomery.
He changed everything.
Everything.
It's the most incredible thing anybody's ever seen.
Wes Montgomery created that style out of nowhere.
Sparky, the two world wars got rid of the German accents in predominantly German towns in the U.S. They successfully efforted to lose their accents.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Raphael says, Sir, give me one actor, one actress today, who could have been a star in Hollywood in the 50s and 60s.
Only one.
That is a great question.
I would think I think today, by the way, this is, you know, that's hard to say.
Let me ask you a question, Raphael, and then I'll ask you a question.
I think the greatest actor, pound for pound, you always got to say pound for pound, the greatest actor, pound for pound, in my book, has always been Spencer Tracy.
There's just nobody.
He could read the instructions of, you know, shaving cream, and you'd think it's the greatest thing in the world.
He is incredible.
Gary Oldman.
Off the charts.
Off the charts.
Believe it or not, John Cazale, or John Cazale, who was Fredo, was so great.
Absolutely.
Meryl Streep as is Incredible.
But at the time, the people who were the actors, like Jimmy Stewart, was he really that good?
Yes!
Yes!
Absolutely, Jimmy Stewart was really that good.
James Cagney was really that good.
Actually, Glenn Campbell was mainly guitar.
But bass was no problem for him.
You know, Glenn Campbell did these guitar things.
And let me also say something, and you may not agree with me on this, but there are some guitar players who were great, and they were technicians, like Chet Atkins.
Chet Atkins may be probably the greatest, pound for pound, technical guitar player ever.
Teddy Tedesco can play kinds of things.
Perfect.
You're going to get upset with this.
Eddie Van Halen was an acrobat, but Carlos Santana is a ballet dancer.
It is harder to play sustained note Note, not note frequency, but note precision.
It is harder to do that than it is to just wow people with, you know, Yngwie, you know, Eric Johnson, and Joe Satriani, and all those shredders.
They're great, but to play just notes, oh my god, it's a different story.
I have enjoyed talking like this.
I enjoy spending a little time with you tonight.
Wasn't it fun?
Not necessarily...
Huh?
Just that...
That Frankenstein kind of...
I love that.
Don't ever lose sight of the fact.
Don't ever become chastened.
Don't ever lose your artistic side of what you're doing.
Piano?
Watch Oscar Peterson.
Listen to him describe things.
Listen to his tutorials.
Billy Taylor, Dr. Billy Taylor, listen to him to explain jazz.
Explain what he's doing.
Oscar Peterson.
Art Tatum put it this way Gene Hackman underrated that great I got the name Lionel from the movie I picked him from the movie Scarecrow with Al Pacino and Gene Hackman.
They played Max.
It's great!
Don't forget also the movies that John Cazale was in The Conversation, Godfather 1, Godfather 2 And Deer Hunter.
I think that was it.
Oh, and Dog Day Afternoon.
Understated is the hardest thing in the world.
They say playing great guitar notes?
Very, very simple.
Not wowing people with speed, but anyway.
But that is something that just watch.
I love to watch sometimes, sometimes on YouTube, I think of the greatest harp.
Remember the Baha Marimba Band?
They were an offshoot of Herb Alpert.
This is interesting here.
There's a correction.
Yesterday I said Israel blamed Hamas for a hospital attack.
They actually blamed a third party.
Islamic Jihad was that to avoid implicating the U.S. in Qatar.
There you go.
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