Miss Universe Netherlands Crowns Trans Woman for First Time
Miss Universe Netherlands Crowns Trans Woman for First Time
Miss Universe Netherlands Crowns Trans Woman for First Time
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Well, my friends, let me start off by saying right off the bat that one of the most stupid exercises that human beings have ever been involved in since the beginning of time is that of beauty pageants. | |
That's right. | |
Beauty pageants are A latter-day version of the minstrel show. | |
I don't care what anybody says, it is taking whatever progress, whatever advancement, whatever progress women have made over the past, whatever, and destroying it in one fell swoop by this stupid, absolutely anachronistic Vestige of misogynistic, truly, male dominance, beauty. | |
Hey, come here, honey. | |
Walk across. | |
Shake that. | |
Walk across the stage. | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Okay, we're going to ask you a question about what do you think about world peace? | |
Okay, time's up. | |
Now, walk across the stage. | |
Shake that thing. | |
Come on, honey. | |
Here's the evening gown. | |
There you go. | |
Come on, play the bassoon. | |
Okay, and when you're done with the bassoon, just walk across that stage and shake that thing. | |
We're going to pretend that we care about your mind and what you think about world peace when all we want to do is see you shake that thing and that's it! | |
And you know it and I know it and everybody knows it's true. | |
For the love of God, stop pretending. | |
Stop pretending that this is some valid form of I don't know what. | |
I don't know what you want to call it. | |
But it's the most ridiculous thing anybody's ever seen. | |
But get this! | |
For the first time, a transgender woman was crowned Miss Universe Netherlands. | |
It's kind of oxymoron. | |
Is she Miss Universe or Miss Universe Netherlands? | |
Anyway, I'm sure this is the Netherlands participant of whatever. | |
For the first time, making history in the Dutch country. | |
Yes! | |
22-year-old Rikkie Valerie Kohl. | |
R-I-K-K-I-E. | |
Rikkie, don't lose that number. | |
Won the pageant, and oh my god, are people excited and ecstatic, or ecstatic, as Ricky Ricardo might say, and they're nonplussed and gobsmacked over this important and absolutely, incredibly critical moment in the history of American civilization. | |
Okay, let's talk about that. | |
But first, let me ask you to please, please, I ask you to Oh yes, but like the video. | |
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So let's go back to this right now. | |
Ricky, don't lose a number. | |
Ricky Valerie Cole won the pageant Saturday. | |
The first transgender woman. | |
Now I'm not going to get into whether it's a man or a woman. | |
I say great. | |
It's their thing, whatever. | |
You knew this was coming. | |
How do you think those women felt? | |
You think they're happy? | |
They're never happy in this. | |
Oh, they're so happy when somebody wins this ridiculous cattle drive. | |
A horrible event. | |
In any event, 22-year-old Ricky Valerie Cole won the pageant Saturday, which effectively makes her Miss Netherlands. | |
And which will send her to compete in the upcoming Miss Universe! | |
Universe! | |
Not Miss World! | |
Miss Universe! | |
And that's not even Miss Galaxy! | |
Miss the whole place! | |
Multiverse! | |
Universe! | |
Everything in the invisible light space, 14 billion light years away! | |
Where women from all over the country, world rather, will fight for the crown! | |
Now, the last Miss Netherlands, Ona Moody, and reigning Miss Universe, or Bonnie Gabriel, from the USA, were on hand to give Cole the big prize. | |
Everyone seemed happy. | |
Everybody seemed excited. | |
Or, as TMZ says, stoked. | |
They are stoked. | |
Now, she's on the big show and at the big time right now. | |
Which is going to be held in El Salvador in December. | |
Now, it is reported that while she may indeed be the first trans woman in the Netherlands to compete, she won't be the first trans woman to vie to compete for the title. | |
Oh, no, no, Spain's Angela Fonse did in 2018. | |
More trans women have been competing, as you probably know, in national Miss Universe pageants in recent years. | |
And in fact, the new owner of Miss Universe, Anne Jack Rajutatip, Jack Rajutatip, is transgender herself! | |
Did you know that? | |
The new owner of Miss Universe is a transgender! | |
And Cole is ecstatic after the fact, taking to social media to write, I did it! | |
And continuing to say that she was excited to tackle Miss Universe in the coming months. | |
Now, do you think any of those folks might have any problem with being in the dressing room? | |
Oh, pasha, pasha. | |
Now, does this matter? | |
Not really. | |
You knew what was coming. | |
In fact, it had been coming. | |
And I think it's actually good because it just goes to show you how absolutely... | |
First of all, forget... | |
Transgender, I say this again, as a human being, I think these beauty pageants are just the stupidest thing anybody has ever... | |
It goes back to... | |
Look, I don't want to bring up cheerleaders. | |
Cheerleaders in the old days, some of them used to be, especially the real competitive ones. | |
Let me tell you something. | |
You try doing this stuff. | |
These young ladies were breaking their necks, jumping up and down. | |
And I find the whole thing... | |
The whole pom-pom thing. | |
Look, it's a free country. | |
Do whatever you want. | |
But I think it's so stupid. | |
It's just part of that wonderful thing that we do as humans that I think is stupid. | |
Now, do you think the women are going to have a problem with this man walking around? | |
I don't know if he's been surgically fixed, if he's been snipped, if he's been panectomied, orchiectomied, if he is sans three-piece set. | |
I don't know. | |
I'm not sure. | |
In the Netherlands, do you think anybody's going to? | |
No. | |
In fact, this might bring more people to watch it. | |
Again, it's a free country. | |
It's a free world. | |
You can do whatever you want. | |
But you know and I know people are just saying, hey, that's great. | |
Nobody is thrilled. | |
First of all, it's so strange, the whole concept, the whole beauty pageant. | |
Nobody remembers. | |
In the old days, it meant something. | |
Remember Burt Parks? | |
There she is! | |
Miss... | |
No, of course you don't. | |
Then there was Miss... | |
Oh, they just... | |
Remember... | |
JonBenet Ramsey. | |
I know that kid thing. | |
Then there's the Miss... | |
Then there's the Miss... | |
Like the older women. | |
Whatever they call them. | |
Mrs. USA. | |
Oh, please. | |
I gotta tell you a funny story. | |
True story. | |
Years ago, I was at a... | |
Bar. | |
Local bar in the kitchen, Hell's Kitchen. | |
And all of a sudden, these two women came in. | |
They sat down. | |
They looked kind of... | |
Well, the expression used to be road hard and put up wet. | |
I mean, they looked rough. | |
Not rough, not ugly, but just like they could rip your head off. | |
And two more came in. | |
But these ones looked almost like... | |
Not floozies, but hardcore, like cheap, I'm going to say it, like cheap hookers. | |
And then more came in. | |
And finally, the owner of the bar, an Irish guy, says, we've got to do something. | |
This is terrible. | |
I don't know what the hell is going on here. | |
But this is how reputations are lost. | |
So he says, and he walks over and says, how are you doing there, ladies? | |
If you don't mind my asking, where are you from? | |
He's just trying. | |
He goes, well, we're just taking the time off. | |
We're auditioning for this Miss Mrs. Something. | |
There was an audition place next door. | |
So all of these would-be, wannabe women beauty entrance pageant, they came in and it was one of the funniest things. | |
I mean, they look scary. | |
Scary! | |
But they thought they looked terrific. | |
They thought they were beauty queens. | |
They thought, look at us. | |
We look terrific. | |
It was horrible. | |
And that just goes to show you, whenever you throw, oh, and by the way, this was really, if you think about it, this was really before the, this was years ago, the advent of social media, which now has just, I mean, taken this thing off the charts. | |
So, anyway, back to this story. | |
What do I think? | |
I don't care. | |
Transgender, I'm not even shocked. | |
There's transgender everything. | |
But you know and I know. | |
Do you think... | |
How do you feel, ladies? | |
You were beaten by a man. | |
Well, not really a man. | |
By a transgender man. | |
How do you like that? | |
Do you feel good about that? | |
Do you feel good about that? | |
He beat you. | |
I mean, she, they, whatever. | |
Beat you. | |
You know they don't like that. | |
You know it. | |
And you know there's something about it which is going to sponsor and inspire so much phony, baloney... | |
Feigned happiness when in fact nobody's happy. | |
And one more time, I gotta say this. | |
Beauty pageants are stupid. | |
They are inane. | |
Has like the nicest smile. | |
The prettiest face. | |
That's all it is. | |
I don't know what else you think it is. | |
And people who defend it, well, you know, there's scholarships. | |
Oh, please. | |
Stop it. | |
Stop it. | |
All right, dear friends, have a great and glorious day. | |
Thanks so much for watching. | |
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