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May 17, 2023 - Lionel Nation
01:04:42
John Durham Just Got Trump Reelected
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Well, are you tired of this Durham thing yet?
Be honest with me.
Are you tired of this?
Are you thinking, oh God, there's nothing there.
Are you?
Have you just had enough of it?
Have you thought, okay, it's good.
I mean, I'm glad.
I'm glad.
It's over with.
But is it really that big of a deal?
I mean, what's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
This may have just gotten Trump re-elected.
What?
This may have gotten Trump re-elected.
Why do you say that?
Why do you think?
Why do you think?
It may have gotten him re-elected.
Now, let me explain a couple of things, a little bit, before we go on.
I'm not a Trump acolyte.
I tell you exactly what I feel about Trump, like it or not.
Some things he does great, some things he does are just stupid.
I've said it before, I'm going to say it again.
I'm not on the payroll.
I don't have to say whatever I want.
And that's...
That's the way it is.
And sometimes people will do things very smart politically.
And I'm not saying things to make you happy.
I'm not trying to say things to make you feel good.
If it makes you feel good, great, but that's not why I'm saying it.
That's not why I'm saying it at all.
It's a little story.
What is interesting about the Durham case?
What's different about it?
Now use your head.
Think.
What's different?
Look at me, buddy.
There's Roger.
Hey, Roger.
How's it hanging, Roger?
You got Kartoffel there and Dick Bork.
The whole crew.
The whole crew's here.
The whole crew.
By the way, where's everybody from?
Let's start off with a nice little roll call.
Where are you from?
Your city now.
Don't tell me Ohio.
I hate that.
I want the name.
Of your actual city.
Let's start off.
I love that.
I love seeing this diaspora, this heterogeneity, this geographic, you know, this marvelous melange of individuals.
You heard me.
Where is everyone from?
Where is the name of your place?
Roma.
There's Eric, E-T-W.
Roma.
West Palm Beach, Florida.
Tarpon Springs.
Oh!
I took Mrs. L to Tarpon Springs.
She loved it.
I remember the old days when Pappas was there.
That's one of the best Greek communities in the area.
El Paso.
Sulphur Springs, Texas.
Unincorporated Aroma Township.
Independence Moe.
Home of Harry Truman.
Manalapan, New Jersey.
San Angelo, Texas.
Orlando, Orange County.
Gate City, Virginia.
Portlandistan.
Keystone, Colorado.
Astoria.
This is beautiful.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Kim Gardner resigned today.
That's good.
That's very good.
Tannersville, New York.
Portland, Maine.
You poor thing.
Portland, Maine.
Oh, Liz.
God bless you.
Portlandia.
How do you do it?
No, Portland, Maine versus Oregon.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Portland, Maine.
It's a different story.
Atlantic City.
Put your makeup on.
Get your hair all pretty.
And meet me tonight in Atlantic City.
Beaver Crossing, Nebraska.
Well, anyway, welcome, my friends.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Now, let's start off.
Let's go back to what I'm saying.
Number one.
Every...
Well, let me go back.
I love when people come up with this ridiculous concept that says, you know, every time Trump gets indicted or charged, that actually helps him.
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
No, it helps him.
It's great.
It helps him.
It helps him?
Oh, yeah, it helps him.
What are you, an idiot?
Yeah.
Oh, does it help him?
Why do people say that?
Oh, I don't know.
I'm just...
I just, you know, help?
No, it doesn't help.
But wait a minute.
There are six cases right now that Trump's got.
E. Jean Carroll found libel in the civil case of that sexual abuse.
Not good.
That's number one, okay?
That's E. Jean.
Number one.
Next.
We've got the indictment of that stupid case with Alvin Bragg.
Business records.
That's such a nothing case.
There's no meat to it.
There's no nothing.
Eh.
That's two.
Third, three and four, we got the Jack Smith.
We got maybe, I hope to God it's not a seditious conspiracy, but we got that J6 stuff brewing around.
And number four, you've got the Mar-a-Lago case, Mar-a-Lago, which may or may not be...
Through some kind of weird obstruction of justice thing.
That's four.
Five, you've got Letitia James in her civil case involving the overvaluation of property, which is nonsense.
And number six, the final, you've got the Fulton County stop the steal stuff.
You got it?
That's six!
But what's different about Durham?
What's different?
It's a vindication!
It's a vindication!
It's not about, well, the FBI did not exhibit fidelity.
What?
You know what FBI stands for?
Fidelity, bravery, integrity.
Fidelity!
Well, they didn't exactly review the protocol.
No, no, no, no.
It's because they vindicated.
There was no collusion.
Trump did nothing wrong.
He said there was no collusion.
You said he was a liar.
Hillary's a liar.
She's a thief.
She's a crook.
Trump was correct.
He was just vindicated.
Can you say Grover Cleveland?
That's a different story.
People are saying, this son of a gun was right.
This son of a gun was right.
And if I were Trump, I'd say, here it is.
This is a vindication.
Forget this business about it.
And they should have done a better job.
No.
They shouldn't have done a better job.
I didn't do anything.
There's not an amount of a better job that they could possibly do to change the fact that I didn't do anything.
You can have Scotland Yard, MI6, Sherlock Holmes, McGarrett, 5-0, Jack Webb, the whole bit.
You're not going to find anything because I didn't do anything.
I never did anything.
That's Trump's thing.
I told you that.
Carter Page didn't do anything.
Papadopoulos.
We didn't do anything.
She did.
They made up stuff about hookers relieving themselves on the percales of a bed.
They made this up!
They made this up!
I had explained to my son.
I don't even understand it.
Dad, what did they say you did?
I don't know.
I got a couple of hookers and I gave them a couple of bucks to what?
Because of what?
I'm not even sure what they did.
I'm not even sure.
I don't even know what they did.
And by the way, Geraldo Rivera is such a gedruel.
He's so...
Jerry Rivers.
Did you hear what he's called?
Undinism.
Urolagnia.
This...
I don't want to discuss this stuff.
These golden references.
You got it wrong there, pal.
It says a lot about you.
That ain't what this is about.
I don't have to go through the book of paraphilia to explain this to you.
But this is what Trump says.
This is a different story.
Trump says, I didn't do it.
And Durham doesn't even have the decency to say, nothing happened.
No, he says, I think the FBI was a little bit...
If they went after me, If the FBI claimed that I killed or was responsible for the assassination of John F. Kennedy, I was five years old at the time.
Instead of saying, he didn't do anything, he was five years old.
He was nowhere near Dallas, and not to mention, he was five years old.
But if Durham said instead, I believe the Dallas Police Department were a bit precipitous.
In charging this young man with a crime and saying, no, I didn't do it!
What do you mean they were?
Do you hear the way they're phrasing it?
And here's what Trump should say.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's $1,000.
Here's $1,000.
Whatever he feels comfortable with.
Please.
Anybody.
Tell me.
What was the Russian collusion?
What did they do, theoretically?
Forget whether they did it or not.
What did they do?
If they came and said, Yes, this is the KGB.
This is Igor and Svetlana.
They work for the company that takes the numbers of the votes and changes the number, like Diebold.
We change the number.
We broke into the...
That would be something, wouldn't it?
Wouldn't that be something?
Whether it's true or not, I'd say, no, that's collusion.
Geez.
I mean, they broke into a...
That, wow!
That's a...
They didn't even say that!
Well, there's undeniable truth.
51% rubs your caloosh.
How?
Well, just take it from me.
I've got 51...
Excuse me.
Well, one of you...
Here's $1,000 to your favorite charity.
What did the rush...
What did they do?
Well, you know what I heard?
Think about this.
Who?
Who do you think?
Who do you think?
Tell me.
Who do you think?
Who do you think?
Who?
The only thing they ever said was, I think, Facebook.
They said Facebook.
They bought Facebook.
Pages or something.
I don't know.
Then they charged a bunch of Russians, remember this, with something and they never showed up?
About 14 or 15 Russians, remember that?
Who are they?
Well, they're not going to show up.
But what did they do?
Well, they just, you know, they did.
They did it, whatever it is.
Well, what did they do?
You wouldn't understand it.
Well, what did the Russians do?
Well, they were involved with the Hunter Biden, you know, the thing, the thing.
They were involved with the laptop.
What did they do?
Well, they, you know, did they put the pictures of a hunter with the meth pipe or the crack pipe or whatever it is?
Is that what they did?
And all the women and the rioter cowboy and the hookers, well, what did they do?
Well, look, just suffice to say, they've never told you.
Once!
Never!
51 members of the intel agency are signing stuff.
Signing!
What?
Have you?
No.
No.
Decency!
You're signing a document that says Russia FSB did this?
What?
You never told us how.
None of these people, CNN, I mean, I see Jake Tapper, nobody says, excuse me, just not for nothing.
But how did they do this?
Well, they just...
It's the most incredible thing in the world.
They tell you stuff, and you...
Not you.
Please, not you.
Not you.
Not you.
You're different.
I talk those you, though they.
They tell them.
They tell them this stuff and they just agree with it.
Okay.
Whatever.
They just go along with it.
It's the most incredible thing in the world.
They just go along with it.
They don't ask any questions.
They just say, alright, fine.
Did you ever hear the story about the Nord Stream 2?
This is the most incredible.
Well, Russia did it.
What?
What?
That's right, Putin.
You did it.
I did what?
I blew up my own...
What?
I did it?
Yes, you did it.
Why?
I'm selling natural...
Why would I do it?
Because you're that evil.
I'm that stupid, apparently.
How did I...
You just did it.
You just did this.
Don't even...
You just did it.
Why?
You just did it.
Hey, Germany, do you think I blew up?
I'm selling you...
Why?
Cy Hirsch.
Ah, the hell was Cy Hirsch.
What does he know?
Oh, I don't know.
My Lai, everything else.
It just, you know, they...
The people are just in the most...
You can tell the American people anything.
anything.
I...
I...
Ladies and gentlemen, Eric Thaddeus Walter says, Donald J. Trump 2024 will be straight out of the film Shot Caller.
Yes!
Every home and essay from San Quentin to Rikers Island will vote for him.
Karens will be passing out on their manicured soccer mom lawns.
On the pitch!
Thank you, Eric.
You are so correct.
Absolutely.
This is the one, this is where I'm going to say, okay, now you're going to vote for him.
Now you're going to vote for him.
Look, look, I know, I know before, look, look, look, up till now, he was doing some crazy stuff, but they just had a 300 page, whatever, vindication.
This is what they told him.
He didn't do anything.
He won fair and square.
Hillary Clinton!
Hillary Clinton!
Nobody's mentioning her!
Who is Christopher Steele?
Perkins Coie?
Fusion GPS?
Whatever happened?
Fake phony FISA court warrants.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
I want you to hear me this.
I want you to hear me this.
I don't know what kind of language that is.
I think it's English.
I want you to hear me this.
By gum.
Donald Trump is the most exciting, the most shape-shifting, transcendental Imane,
colossal, gigantic, brobdingnagian, ginormous thing that has ever, ever happened.
He is, he's like his own Higgs field.
He gives things mass.
He goes to CNN and Chris Licht and Zaslav should kiss his tuchus in the front window of Macy's to give him a half an hour to draw a crowd because he saved them.
He shows up and people go crazy.
They can't even rig the audience.
They can't rig the audience.
You just got him re-elected, you schmuck.
You got him re-elected.
Do you know what you're doing?
You want him re-elected, don't you, Chris Lick?
Chris Lick says, I don't know.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I was doing the Colbert show.
Now I'm doing CNN.
I don't even know what the hell I'm doing.
Whatever you do, keep it up.
And you know who is just, oh my God, it's so awful.
Fox News.
All my friends are saying, are you watching this?
I don't know.
It's horrible.
Oh my God, it's horrible.
It's just not there.
It's just not there.
You know when something, when you just, you know, like when the Stones lost Charlie.
Okay.
You know, when they lost Bill.
When they lost Mick.
I think Ronnie Wood's better.
Okay.
There's this weird balance.
There's this thing.
It's like, okay, maybe, maybe, you know, maybe.
Okay.
Godfather 2 without Clemenza.
All right.
Okay.
It'll work.
It'll work.
Without Brandon.
All right.
You know, it's just different.
But something happened.
They killed the spirit of Fox News.
And Hannity's doing his best.
Do you want me to throw you football?
Can you come in and watch?
I have an audience.
We'll give you free tickets.
I get a little pizza.
Please come.
I don't know what to do.
Leo, wear a hat.
The other night they had on Leo Terrell and Curtis Lee.
And Leo Terrell, by the way, that man is a mensch.
I take back.
Whenever I said, Leo, you wear the hat all you want.
He's a gentleman.
He was on Mrs. L's radio show.
The gentleman's gentleman.
God bless him.
Of course, he's on with Curtis Sliwa wearing the beret.
He's a commando.
I'm a commando.
I'm Curtis Sliwa.
Alright.
It's so over with.
It's so over.
Wait, you got out of Dominion.
You happy now?
We're happy.
Good, good.
Who do you have now?
Jesse Waters.
Ooh, he's good.
Ooh, yeah!
Jesse's good.
Waters World.
Okay, great.
What else you got there?
I don't know.
It sucks.
It's so bad.
It's so bad.
And now they want to take AM radio out of cars.
Oh, please.
We've got each other.
We've got tonight.
We've got tomorrow.
Why won't you stay?
I think it was best.
I think our good friend Bob Seger said it best.
And Trump's going to win this thing.
If I were Trump, I'm serious.
Just, hello, I'm Donald Trump.
And all he's got to do, imagine this.
Just work with me with this.
Just work with me.
You think I'm kidding?
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Work with me.
Work with me.
Imagine him standing and he just does a regular speech.
I believe in an America where people feel safe, where people feel proud, where people can take a walk outside after dinner and enjoy, go to the lake and just enjoy, just be American.
Now behind him, imagine on this set, I get to put The graphics.
And I have the worst outside toilets.
San Francisco.
I left my heart.
These people just relieving themselves and just turning everything into a latrine.
People passed out needles in San Francisco.
I love L.A. Fires, beatings, cars turned over, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, just burning,
burning destruction, burning all these just people pouring through the borders, hordes, white buses, airlines.
Havoc, swag bags, AOC pretending to cry over an empty whatever in San Francisco.
Pictures, just disaster.
What would be California Dreaming?
Thank you.
What would be the picket?
What would be the picket?
Lenny Pickett played sax on SNL.
Great sax player.
He's playing with Tower of Power.
What would be your picture?
California Dreaming.
Philadelphia drug addiction everywhere.
What was that?
Kensington?
What's that place called?
Kensington?
No.
Yeah.
Kensington.
Have you seen this?
Look up YouTube under Kensington in Philly.
Oh my God!
Unbelievable!
Just imagine this.
This is so interesting.
And just imagine this.
And there's pictures of Biden walking around.
Trying to shake hands with nobody.
And Carmelita.
And my favorite, nobody talks about her.
Do you know that Corrine Jean-Pierre hasn't gotten even better at what she's doing?
Corrine Jean-Pierre isn't better doing what she's doing.
Do you follow what I'm saying?
Most people get better.
She's worse.
If that's possible.
Then we get pictures of the drag shows.
Right?
It's raining men!
Hallelujah!
Kids like this.
What the hell is this?
Kids with a little teddy bear walking off to surgery saying goodbye to mommy and daddy.
And they're going to have balloons that say it's a girl!
Crossed out.
Boy!
Crossed out.
Oh yeah!
Dylan Mulvaney?
What does Dylan Mulvaney do?
What does Dylan Mulvaney do?
Where do these people go?
Remember Karen Blasey Ford?
Where does she go?
Remember the old days of the American Express?
Hello, I'm Karen Mulvaney.
What do these people do?
What is this?
And Trump is just, don't vote for me.
You want more of this?
Come on, you like this.
Here we are.
Imagine the whole four years just condensed.
Here we are leaving Afghanistan.
Hey!
People hanging on the...
I mean, just, just catastrophe after catastrophe.
And then Fauci.
Fauci.
Kids walking around with masks when he says...
Remote.
Schools.
Randy Weingart.
Nobody going back.
And then one day, okay, you can go back.
What happened?
Yeah, I'll go back.
Not like that?
Just like that.
Go back.
We've had enough.
That's enough.
That's enough.
What happened?
It just...
Just go back.
Enough of that.
We're done.
We're done with that.
Move on.
And have Mayorkas have pictures of him and kids.
I mean, just...
And Trump just talking.
Just giving his regular speech, doing his thing.
He does that breathing thing.
Have you noticed how this one comedian there was one comedian on SNL who did a great job and then there's a new guy now with dark hair who doesn't even dress like he does a great Trump and a great Mitch McConnell.
But he basically Piggybacked off of the first one.
It takes somebody, like David Fry did Nixon, and everybody did David Fry.
I'm not saying this new fellow is mimicking this other.
But nobody did Trump.
Remember when Alec Baldwin did that terrible Trump?
It was the worst.
This was the look.
Remember that Trump impersonator?
There was a guy in Long Island.
We'd always see him.
There's this fat guy and he painted his face red and he looked like he was trying to pop his ears in a plane.
I'm thinking, this is Trump?
You love that guy.
And do yourself a favor.
DJT, keep the kids away.
Ivanka and Jared, I know they don't want to be a part of this.
Keep them out of here.
Tell...
Tell Don Jr., shh, and take that girlfriend of his, the fiancé, stay away.
Just do whatever you want to do, stay away.
Same with you, Eric and Lara, stay away.
Get out of here.
Just don't, don't, no, no, no.
And by the way, Mr. Trump, President Trump, keep Bannon out of it and all these other folks, just new people.
Nobody, anybody's seen before.
I know you like, no Rudy, oh dear God, no.
No Sidney Powell, none of these people, none of them.
And that Jenna Ellis and all these, nobody.
You're all by yourself.
New people.
New people.
If they're not new, forget it.
Forget it.
Something new.
Lose that I'm proud to be an American.
That song drives me nuts.
I've heard it new.
New stagecraft.
We're going to do it different.
Nothing new.
Nothing.
And you better watch that crowd because they're going to put every nut in that crowd you can imagine.
They're going to put every nut with every hat, every lunatic.
They're going to be walking around.
They're going to go, see?
There you go.
No Proud Boys.
No...
No Boogaloo Boys.
No Pet Shop Boys.
Nobody.
Make sure you watch this.
Make sure you watch this.
Okay?
We're going to do it different this time.
And all you do is say, don't take my word for it.
Take Durham's word for it.
I didn't do anything.
I never did anything.
Never.
And they got me twice on this.
And then there's...
Oh my God.
You know what's funny about this?
I'm going to ask you a question.
I'm going to give you a choice.
I'm going to give you a choice.
Let's assume I have the power to do this.
Don't ask me why.
Just assume.
Whom would you rather see arrested in the pokey, in the huskow, in the big house?
Hillary?
Or Hunter?
Now Hillary is not a powerful...
She's teaching a class that she's just...
Remember when she was walking around in Chappaqua in the woods?
She was walking around drinking boxed wine and a muumuu.
Of course, she was dressed like an oven mitt.
The oven mitt fashionista.
Remember that?
Somebody was out in the woods and they said, Hillary Clinton.
She was just walking around.
She was gone.
Bill was with the Ever Ready...
Rabbit, whatever that bunny is, he was...
They always said he was in the...
They had the top floor of the library.
Who would you rather be?
Hunter or Hillary?
Not both.
People have Obama.
Does Obama...
Do you have any...
Seriously.
Did you ever feel that sense of...
I never trusted Obama.
But I never felt like this sense of real corruption.
I always thought, okay, I'll do it.
And we're going to pick you.
Okay?
Where are you from?
Doesn't matter.
Come on.
Okay.
And you're going to be a community organizer.
Well, you like that?
Okay, good.
And you're going to be going to Harvard and where, you know.
What about oxygen?
Well, I don't know.
Columbia?
Well, just Just don't worry about that.
You're going to do this thing.
You got it?
Okay.
I was happy when he was elected, didn't you?
Weren't you?
Compared to what?
That horrible, horrible Sarah Palin?
Where is Sarah Palin?
Remember Sarah?
Where'd she go?
What happened to Sarah?
She's just gone.
And McCain was horrible.
I never had any problem with her.
I never had that...
Same thing with Bill Clinton.
Hillary?
It's a different story.
Hillary Clinton?
Oh my God.
What she did.
What she did.
I mean, it's just...
It's embarrassing, isn't it?
It's embarrassing to see what's going on in this country.
It really is.
But Trump?
Oh my God.
And I think I will...
Probably go out of my way to go Karen hunting.
I think I would probably go out of my way if Trump...
Because when...
Do you remember...
I don't know about you.
Do you remember the 21st of...
No, do you remember when Trump was elected?
That night, I couldn't...
Believe what I was seeing.
I couldn't believe it.
And we knew something was up.
When down the street at the Javits Center, down the street, boy, it's really windy, isn't it?
Wow.
Down the street at the Javits Center, they canceled the fireworks, the gruchies.
Whoa!
What was that about?
I thought, there's no way he's going to win against Hillary.
No way!
Do you remember that?
And then Hillary couldn't be seen as she wore purple?
Remember that when they came out?
That was surreal.
That was so surreal.
What would that be again today?
What would that be like today if Trump did round two?
Second president since Grover Cleveland.
Two non-consecutive terms.
Who would, who would, do you see where today, to show you how bad Fox News went?
They had Scott Baio.
They had it on YouTube.
Scott Baio is moving, moved to Florida.
Who cares?
Chachi moved to Florida.
That's good.
Isn't that some?
I wonder why.
New York state of mind.
He's one of them lefty types.
Isn't that something?
But Scott Baio?
This was a story on Fox News?
Scott Baio?
What are you kidding me?
Am I missing something?
Oh, I don't know.
There's so many people, people that I know, I'd love to call up and say, now listen.
I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.
Because you know, last time, you didn't talk to me, I had nothing to do with it.
I didn't even say I was...
You just turned on me.
But I just want to tell you now, now that Trump won again, thanks to Durham, thanks to Hillary Clinton, again, because if it wasn't for Hillary Clinton, we wouldn't have had that stupid investigation.
And he wouldn't be in.
But thank you for that.
But I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.
You know, now that Trump won again.
You understand that, right?
I hope this doesn't...
Oh, I'm going to be terrible.
I'm going to be horrible.
Horrible.
Because I'm a nice person for the longest time.
There's so many people who just...
Oh my God!
But you know what?
I don't care.
And here's why.
And I've told you this before and I'm going to say it again.
This country suffers from, I hate to use the term, a cancer.
An actual, a metastatic neoplasm.
A fungating cancer.
An angiogenesis, I mean a festering, scary mass.
Okay?
And we don't know what to do with it.
And the only thing, The only way to get rid of this thing is for chemotherapy, and Trump is chemotherapy.
Do you really want to see him again?
Do you really want to see this again?
Do you?
Seriously?
Do you really want to see Trump again?
Do you want to see another Round of this?
Do you?
And I hope he goes, let's be crazy, okay?
Do me a favor.
I want you to just close your eyes and give me the names of some of the people that he's going to put on his cabinet in his White House.
Starting with, for whatever it's worth, I would say, you gotta do this.
I would Tucker Carlson, Put them in as something.
I don't care what it is.
Just to drive people crazy.
Who would be the people that they could put in to drive people nuts?
I would pick Marjorie Taylor Greene as something.
She drives people more crazy than anybody else.
She's been very quiet lately.
Because I think she's got ambitions.
I think somebody told her.
Notice she dropped that Gates and Boebert, who's talking to herself in the front seat of a car.
When you do that, you're out of your mind.
But who would be the people?
Flynn?
Kristi Noem?
Carrie Lake?
Vice President?
Huh?
What do you think, honey?
Carrie Lake?
Vice President?
Tucker as press secretary?
Oh my God.
Think about this.
Sammy the Bull as Attorney General.
I don't know what.
Cary Lake would drive people absolutely...
I would pick Marty McCary as something.
Dr. McCary.
Oh, RFK Jr.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
I would say you have to do this.
Just to drive the Kennedy people nuts.
Steve Bannon, fashion consultant.
I love that.
For that look, you know, that kind of like we're going to go out in the woods wearing the Borneo look.
Candy Owens is VP.
You know what?
Even though she makes my skin crawl.
I would do that.
Not as VP, but I would have her as something.
Something where she would come out and do that snippy...
Oh, God.
And I would have a front room and say, Jim Acosta, sit right here.
This is your seat.
This is your seat.
Oh, yeah.
And you know what I would do?
Guess which network I would never go on.
Guess.
And even though I'd hold my nose, I'd go on Newsmax, OAN, I would pick some, I don't know, one of those morning shows out of somebody's bedroom.
I would never go on Fox News.
Never.
Never.
Under any circumstance.
Never.
Ever again.
Because, let's face it, you know what they did.
And I'm not a Tucker fan, but I don't want people to mistreat it.
They bounced him because of the Dominion deal.
Okay, we're going to bounce you.
Because your days are over with.
You and Steve Doocy, you sit around with, I love our troops.
You go ahead and you do that.
Spend your time with them.
Eric Thaddeus says, RFK Jr. has Attorney General payback.
You know what?
He would be excellent.
Think of the people who would just...
Oh.
Oh.
The ones who would just drive them...
I'm trying to think of some other beauts.
And you know what I would do too?
I would have open...
I would make sure...
Trump never did this.
But I would have parties.
I would have...
I would pick...
I would have musicians come to the White House.
Country music, whatever.
Whatever it is, whoever these people are, I would do this.
Not Ted Nugent, but look, if Ted Nugent drives people crazy, I would do this just to drive these people nuts.
Just to drive these people absolutely crazy.
Because you know what?
Here is my point, and all the fun and games aside, all the fun, and Eric, Listen to me.
By the way, listen to me when I tell you this.
This isn't funny.
This country can't get any worse than it is right now.
And it's going to get worse.
It's going to get worse than anything you have ever seen.
Tell me one thing that's gotten better under Biden.
One thing.
One.
Anything?
Can you think of anything?
Any program?
Anything?
When Michelle Obama was first lady, she at least wanted to introduce vegetables, organic.
I thought that was good.
I get...
Has Dr. Jill done anything?
No.
And remember one thing, any kind of pardon that Biden provides, any pardon is federal only, not state.
Stay out of Florida if I were you there, Barden.
John McGuire couldn't get hired.
Alex Jones, CIA.
You know what?
One of these days, I hope to see that man calm down, get his just...
I don't know what the status of him.
He looks so unhealthy when I've seen him.
I mean, he looks like a hypertension, like an embolism, or an aneurysm, I should say, ready to burst.
And it's so, so sad.
There was a time in this country, believe it or not, when the internet was fantastic, where I learned so many great things.
It was so smart.
So incredibly interesting and now it's...
But you know...
Who are the others as well?
Again, I don't know.
Stephen Smith is wonderfully creepy.
Is it Stephen Smith?
Is that his name?
Stephen...
Is that his name?
Bald-headed young man with a...
He does the legal...
Anyway, very creepy, but very effective.
Very effective.
But nobody from Fox News.
Nobody.
Nobody.
I cannot wait one day for this new coalition.
This new coalition of Americans.
People who never thought they would ever be.
They're not Republicans, they're not Democrats, but they're just tired of this.
They're tired of crime.
They're tired of this social lunacy.
They're tired of this insanity.
Where is this?
I had my...
Anyway.
So that's that.
Yes, Stephen Miller.
What did I say?
Stephen Smith?
Where did Smith come from?
How big is Stephen A. Smith?
Oh, that horrible ESPN.
Oh my God.
What is that about?
There are people.
I don't know why.
But on my YouTube rotations, all of a sudden I'm getting these people.
I don't know why I'm getting them.
All of a sudden.
I was getting him for a while.
Why?
Why?
Miller, I like.
Stephen Miller.
Steve McQueen.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
You know what?
Tulsi Gabbard?
Yes.
Ben Shapiro?
No.
No.
Under no circumstance.
No way.
Uh-uh.
Tulsi Gabbard?
Absolutely.
She has a place.
Without a doubt.
There's a real sincerity there.
The other one's just a showboater.
That's that all that, you know, that...
What is his name?
What is university?
What's that thing that...
You know his name.
Prager.
Oh!
Holier than that.
No, no room for that.
Sorry.
Not interested.
You can have all that crew.
And dear God, no Jordan Peterson under any circumstances whatsoever.
But you know who'd be great?
Victor Davis Hanson would be, in some capacity, historian, secretary.
I think he's terrific.
Jonathan Turley.
Fantastic.
Andy McCarthy.
Andrew McCartney, the lawyer, fantastic.
Excellent.
And he's good because he's not sycophantic.
He's not in that realm, as it were.
Some very, very good, good, good, good folks in that.
That's what I would do.
*laughs*
And by the way, what Republicans would you have nothing to do with?
What politicians do you not trust?
I'll tell you who I think has been very good.
Marsha Blackburn has been terrific.
She's done a wonderful thing for kids.
And believe it or not, who's a fellow from Connecticut?
Who is her co-sponsor from Connecticut?
Blumenthal.
He actually has done some great stuff for kids.
Lindsey Graham's had his moments.
Lindsey Graham's had his moments.
Ted Cruz?
Uh-uh.
Showboater?
Full of it.
Absolutely.
John Kennedy?
Full of it.
Only once.
Oh, and the biggest, the biggest of them all?
Jim Jordan.
John Kennedy's Secretary of State.
Just his speeches.
If he would ever...
Hang on a minute.
What happened here?
There we go.
What was that?
John Kennedy, just to hear him go through these, that corn pone, fog horn, leg horn.
Oh my God.
I can't take that.
And I listen sometimes to this...
By the way, do not let this black screen...
There we go.
Do not let that black screen in any way bother you whatsoever.
221 likes, dear God.
There are very few people that I care for.
There's nobody out there.
There are no great politicians of yore.
That's over with.
But, oh!
Who is our friend from the border?
The, huh?
No, no.
The fellow who was the real tough guy, the Homan.
Absolutely.
I'd pick him in a heartbeat.
That's my guy.
I want somebody who really loves doing what they're doing.
I would have nothing but the best of the best of the best.
But I love to dream.
And let me just tell you something right now.
If there's any chance, if there's any chance whatsoever of Mr. Trump, President Trump ever getting it, you can thank our friend Mr. Durham for that.
In any event.
So that's it, my friends.
Your thoughts?
Look at this.
Tom Holman's terrific.
Fetterman is the royal gardener.
You know, it'd be good to have some people just for that.
Now, Fetterman is sad.
I don't even like joking about him.
That's just sad.
And his wife?
Where's Dr. Oz?
Anybody see him?
Has Oz been anywhere?
Anybody see Oz?
Remember that?
That phony?
What was that about?
Remember he did his crudités?
oh dear god And by the way, Just to let you know, so that you understand something here.
I don't particularly care for people who give good TV.
John Kennedy might be a wonderful neighbor.
He might be that great uncle, that funny in-law, that great guy at the Christmas party everybody loves.
But I don't want that.
I want people who really are patriots, who love this country, and want to get stuff done.
And I know they're there.
I know they're somewhere.
But I don't know.
To be able to ask Mark Milley to go at Austin?
Oh my God.
I would pick the most blood and guts.
We would have none of this.
Whatever these programs are in the military?
No.
No.
We're going to love everyone.
America's going to be a place where you can be whatever you want to be.
There's an ad there somewhere.
Whatever expression you want as an adult, but in the military, no.
I want the rest of the world to fear our military, to fear them.
I saw, I'm telling you, I saw recently a photo or a video, a movie or whatever, of the Chinese CCP marching band, one of them.
The band scared me.
They look like they were going to kill me with their trumpets.
This is the band.
There are people who expect this.
I want people to fear us.
I want people to say, oh my God.
And let me tell you something right now.
There is such a love of, and I'm going to use the expression, red meat.
These...
Commandos.
And you just see them on YouTube.
They just love this.
And there are people, SEAL teams.
Everybody was in SEAL.
There's like 9 million ex-SEAL people.
And Don Shipley, our good friend, is going out to bust all these phony balonies.
But I want this to be...
I want to have a military...
Oh my God.
And then, as your president, I would insist upon this, Mr. President, he needs his own Praetorian Guard, or...
His own ninjas.
Where he walks out and he says, well these ninjas walk out with a veil.
He goes, yes, these are ninjas.
They've sworn fealty to me.
No secret service around here.
No nothing.
I would have every square inch of that White House stripped.
You know they're wiring him.
You know they're listening to him.
You know there's hidden cameras.
You know in the John, you know they've got, would you ever trust living in the White House?
Would you?
I wouldn't take a shower.
I'd have, you know they're just waiting for something.
But wouldn't you love to have, and I'd love to have also new units.
I'd like to introduce, like the ninjas.
I'd actually enjoy...
I've been reading a lot about ninjas.
I think they'd be fantastic.
I'd love to have people who are into medieval.
I'd have also bagpipers and people with weird noise makers.
I'm serious.
I would have people say, Oh my God.
Who are these people?
I would take every lunatic.
I could find and say, listen, you're locked up.
I'm going to give you one chance.
You join my special army.
These are the lunatics.
Remember the berserkers?
Did you ever hear about them?
The berserkers.
Oh, yes.
Hence the term.
Oh, I'm glad you asked.
The berserkers were...
And nobody does berserkers.
A berserker, these were Norwegian berserk.
A berserker in the Old Norse...
Berserkers were those who were said to have fought in a trance-like fury.
A characteristic which later gave rise to the modern term berserk.
And they might have used something.
It literally means bear shirt.
And they would sometimes wear coats made out of a bear's skin.
And they would...
I think they might have also involved themselves in some type of imbibing or using some form of hallucinogenic comestible.
Oh yeah!
The berserkers?
Can you imagine if I said, listen, I'm your president.
And if you've always been a screw-up and a blank-up, you know the term.
And if you've always been laughed at, but you always had spirit and spunk and you're crazy, maybe you got some problems, join my special army.
You want to serve your country?
We'll give you a uniform special designation.
We're going to bring back the berserkers like a band.
Make your country pride and scare the hell out of Chinese.
Yeah, you may have precision band members, but we got the craziest people you've ever met in your life because nobody's crazier.
Than Americans.
Nobody.
You know why?
Just look around.
Because of our heterogeneity.
See, you've got crazy Chinese people.
Crazy Japanese people.
We've got crazy everything people.
People from generations of inbred, homozygotic cousins, every kind of drug and alcohol addiction, and lunacy in flavors you've never seen.
We're going to give them a gun and we're going to put you out there in the front line.
You want to do that?
Only if you want to.
Go get them.
Go get them.
You can't get arrested.
You like to burn stuff?
Bring Antifa.
You want to burn stuff?
You like to do that?
Here, go burn these people.
You'll love this.
Go out.
Go get them.
Go after them.
They'll be terrific.
And we'll give you a rank.
We'll give you a promotion.
We are sitting on a pot of gold.
Some of the craziest, most dangerous people.
And by the way, if you have a drug problem, no problem.
You're going to be in the front line.
Drinking?
Even better.
Because there's nothing worse than having some guy coming at you with a bare shirt, who's out of his mind, with a Terradin, drunk, with a high-powered rifle, and a guy with a bagpipe coming at you.
That's the way to do it, my friends.
We may not be able to march in a straight line, but you do not, you do not want to mess with us.
We are cray-cray.
I mean, serious.
Look at us.
Think about that.
Remember the old days about the Foreign Legion?
We're kind of like that.
And we might get people from other countries.
Listen, are you crazy?
Yeah, join us.
You like tattoos?
Even better.
Oh, and all you folks who have your face covered, front of the line.
You get a raise and pay.
And if you tattoo your face, even better.
That's your rank.
You think I'm kidding?
You think I'm kidding?
Keeping it real, Eric.
Keeping it real.
Forget Spartans.
And you know when they have the...
You know when people from different countries, they review the guard, and you have everybody lined up?
You know we have the Green Beret, the Special Forces.
No!
We have our berserkers.
They come out like this, like they're seen from Stripes.
They're drunk, with a half a load on, and grenades and bandoleros, maybe a sombrero.
Any kind of hat you want.
You want a special hat?
You wear a hat.
Go ahead.
Sombrero.
Maybe you might want to do like a dandelier's hat.
You want to wear a knight?
Go ahead.
Full suit of armor.
You like an Indian headdress?
You got it.
Look at the village people.
That'll scare the hell out of these people.
Imagine that.
Xi Jinping standing there goes, what is that?
Hey, Mark Milling.
And better yet.
Before you think I've lost my mind, and I haven't, I'll say, wait, wait, wait, wait, not so fast.
You know that fellow from the Navy?
Whatever.
You stay.
You're in my army too.
Oh yeah!
And they can tell people, and he's in charge of interrogation.
So if we catch you, that's the guy who's going to talk to you.
You got that?
So you better talk up right now or you're going to meet him.
And Dylan Mulvaney.
Excuse me.
General Mulvaney.
How do you like that?
We'll take everybody.
So don't worry about that.
*cough*
You know?
The shaman is out.
I don't know.
I don't know.
If this guy comes out with his helmet with a Valkyrie going, you know, with some kind of spear, whatever you want.
We'll give you weapons.
We'll go to like, you know, Universal Studios that have props made, wings.
You laugh all you want.
How are our likes doing, by the way?
I need one more like to make 300.
300.
That's it.
One more.
Thank you for that, by the way.
Thank you, Don E.T. Come on.
I'm at 299.
299.
Let's go.
Come on.
Let's go.
One more.
What is going on here?
You're killing me with this.
You're killing me.
Just one more to make me happy.
You want to join the Army?
I need a like.
It's that simple.
Design your uniform.
We're going to Party City.
Pick out whatever you want.
There we go.
Now we got it.
All right, my friends.
Have we had fun tonight?
Have we had fun?
Seriously, have we had fun?
I mean, this...
Because let me tell you something.
I would say, look, if we can have Joe Biden as president, Fetterman as senator, Dianne Feinstein as senator, Carmelita as vice president, and Jean-Pierre, then we sure as hell can have you.
Think about this I just...
Do you remember the wrestlers called the...
What were they called?
They were the Australians?
They were the...
What the hell were they called?
Not the Wallabies, but they were...
Crazy!
They're not boomerangs, but I would have every crazy...
I would have the Samoans.
I would have, obviously...
I'm trying to think of the name of these.
The Bushwhackers.
That's it.
Thank you, CGI.
The Bushwhackers who were actually recruiting.
Remember them?
I would have the Iron Sheik.
Excuse me, not the Iron Sheik.
The original Sheik.
The original Sheik.
Anyway, I'm rambling.
Alright, my friends.
Have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful evening.
Let me thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this so wonderful.
And to Eric Thaddeus Walters, thank you for your beneficence, my friend.
Grazie mille.
For everything, for your kindness.
Thank you.
We're going to win this, but we might as well have fun doing it while we talk about it.
That's all.
We might as well have fun.
That's all I'm going to say.
Might as well have fun.
Please tell me you're also going to go to Mrs. L to go to her YouTube channel at Lynn's Warriors.
It means a lot to me and for the cause.
She does wonderful, wonderful stuff.
Please do that.
Follow her on YouTube.
I just said that.
On Twitter at Lynch Warriors.
And I'm at Lionel Media, by the way, should you be so inclined, in any event.
And don't forget, remember, when you talk to somebody tomorrow and they mention, so what did you think about Durham?
You say, that just got Trump re-elected.
Whether you believe it or not, that's just for the Karens.
Just to drive them crazy.
Alright, dear friends, have a great and glorious night.
You have been terrific.
Don't ever change.
I mean that sincerely.
354 likes.
Thank you.
See you tomorrow, 8 a.m.
Same bad time, same bad channel.
Until then, remember these words.
The monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue ya.
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