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Oct. 30, 2022 - Lionel Nation
17:42
A Lawyer Analyzes the Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen Divorce
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The various news media, sports media, entertainment media collectively have been covering every aspect so far of the Tom Brady, Giselle Bungin, Dissolution, separation, divorce.
And it's a tragedy.
It's a tragedy whenever there is the dissolution, the end of a marital unit.
And I use that word in particular.
I use it specifically.
I use it for a good reason.
It's sad.
When there's children, I don't care really who you are, how much money you have.
It's sad.
And I am telling you right now that I have been the...
Well, I've been a lawyer since 1983.
You do the math.
And as I approach, I guess, or I'm in my 40th year of this, the one area that I and many of us, many of our trial lawyers, stay away from at all possible is anything involving matrimony, family law.
It is...
It is the most gut-wrenching, the saddest, saddest area of law.
And you would think that, you know, a felony criminal would be something similar to that.
And in fact, that is too, also replete with tragedy.
But there is nothing like family law and divorce, the end of dreams.
And I want to discuss a few aspects of this.
I want to bring you up to speed.
And I want to give you a different take on this, a different perspective that maybe you haven't thought about.
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Let's talk about something.
Marriage, specifically divorce.
And you don't understand what marriage means.
Until you understand what divorce means.
By the way, this isn't meant as any kind of a cute, I'm not trying to be cute about this or joke about this.
It is horrid.
Horrid.
And the reason why I say this is that there are there is so much happiness that is involved with this.
There is so much happiness that is involved in taking two separate entities, combining them in a situation that does not really exist in any other walk of life.
Melding, fusing, welding them together.
And then, if all remains intact, wonderful!
Great!
But if it doesn't work out, if there is a need to dissolve, to separate, to end this function, then the separation part involves not a cleaving, a division into fair parts.
It's not fair at all, depending upon whose reference you're...
Nobody ever sits back and says, that was great.
I'm sure maybe in the rarest of occasions when somebody enjoys a tremendous windfall.
But even that is so rare because of the emotional aspects of it.
Let's go back to a couple of points here.
First, in every...
Iteration of a new relationship.
We normally are used to things like corporations and limited liability corporations and limited partnerships and all of these aspects.
But we...
You know, whenever a company dissolves, it can be a tragic thing.
I've been involved in radio stations and media corporations that just dissolved.
It was terrible.
To a place.
But it...
It wasn't a divorce.
It was a death in many respects.
I mean, there were certain aspects of this.
And the reason why is simple.
Let me explain.
If you and I have a joint checking account, and I've been talking about this before, and you and I have a checking account that we have both of our names, I can go in one day without you knowing it and clean that baby out.
Clean it out.
And there's nothing illegal about it.
Nothing.
Nothing.
It may be unfair, it may be immoral, but there's nothing illegal about it because that was mine to do what I wanted the same way it was yours.
Both of us, each of us, stood independent.
We had joint tenancy, joint ownership of this individual.
This corpus, this money.
And if one of us were sued, say one of us gets drunk, hurt somebody, injures somebody, and that family sues us, they can attach our assets up to and including the bank account that we shared, even though you had nothing to do with it, because we hold it as joint tenants with no special individual protection against the other.
It doesn't work that way.
There's joint tenancy.
Tenants in common.
But the one that's the most unique is tenancy by the entirety or entireties.
And this is where you take two individuals.
Remember Chang and Eng?
These were the famous Siamese twins.
Chang and Eng is a great, not a great, but it's used a lot in crossword puzzles.
Eng is very popular.
Anyway.
Imagine creating Siamese twins, taking two separate entities, combining them into this new unit that doesn't exist separately, that doesn't exist individually, that is not a joint checking account with this name and that name.
No, it's this.
Whenever you see in a deed, Joe Smith, To Joe Smith and his wife.
Tenancy by the entirety.
And what that means is simply this.
It means there's an expression for the whole and not the moiety for the entire piece.
Meaning that you cannot go and let's say take something that is owned as tenants by the entire.
And sell it off or have it attached.
I can't go and liquidate a house without you because I don't own it.
I don't own this marital situation, this marital relationship.
I don't exist independent of you.
We only work in unison in tandem.
It's like Chang and Eng by themselves.
No, we are molded.
If anybody sues me, they can't take our assets because I don't own them individually.
I can't sell it without the spouse and vice versa.
It's a wonderful means of holding property, but it illustrates this new entity, this man and wife, or husband and wife, I should say.
Man and wife is a tad archaic.
Now that's fine.
Up to and including, or up to the time, you want to separate that.
Then, as with Chang and Eng, as with Siamese twins, I don't know if you can even say if that's even appropriate, but that's what they used to be called.
No matter how carefully you cleave, somebody loses an arm and a leg.
Literally, actually, physically.
It's terrible.
And if you have children, even more seemingly different.
Unequal.
Children who are young, of tender years, the tender years doctrine, oh my God, preference towards women in family dissolution matters.
When children are young, tragic.
Tragic.
And to go and to take property and sell it and separate it and children, children change the entire Entire complexion.
I want to tell you something, which may sound as a joke, but it's not.
When I was 16 years old, there was a...
I was...
I took a drive in class.
It was interesting.
1974.
And I remember the last night of the class, we saw these movies.
Maybe you saw them as well.
Blood on the Highway and Signal.
20 or whatever it was.
And Signal 20's...
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
But what it was, was it was a...
a series of these black and white videos of the most horrific of accidents to show us that while it may be fun to be driving around and tooling about, This is what happens.
And by virtue of the age of these photos, they were grainy and some black and white in the worst color.
They were actually more hideous by virtue of that.
And I've always thought to myself, I don't want to show that, but that's getting a driver's license.
To get a marriage license, there should be some attempt.
To explain the rudiments of the law, the rudiments of this new marital entity, and the realities of dissolution and what that means, what it means to show people.
Do you know that when you're a brand new judge in many jurisdictions, The first place you start, if you're at that circuit level, is family court, which nobody wants.
In fact, the most heavily armed bailiffs and court officers are in family court because it's the most dangerous because lives and families are destroyed and shattered and severed.
And we talk about marriage.
We always have.
In terms of how wonderful it is, and it is.
There are certain things that you can only do when married.
I think the General Accounting Office said there's about 1,600 different marriage-specific benefits that you can avail yourself of.
And it makes a lot of sense.
But people have no idea what happens when it goes sour.
And I think there should be something...
I don't want to have a...
Horrible course to watch Fatal Attraction or something or War of the Roses.
But I don't think we do enough to explain to people this is the reality.
So while you're endeavoring to engage literally in this process of eternal happiness which is wonderful which is wonderful without an appreciation of the Problems that ensue that follow these oftentimes horrible ends without an appreciation for
that.
You really can't understand what you're endeavoring to enter.
And I hope nobody ever goes through that.
But it's something.
That we don't talk about enough.
And by the way, you know, many people suggest that no-fault divorce pretty much changed the landscape of this.
It made people think, in the back of their minds, you know, if anything goes wrong, I'll just leave.
I mean, I'm saying, you know, don't death do us part, but not literally, and I don't really mean it.
That's...
That, I think, has precipitated a lot of this and allowed some people to marry.
Who really shouldn't be married because of the fact that they think, oh, I'll just get out of this.
Divorce, I hear everybody gets a divorce.
It's easy.
It's not easy.
At its best, there is no such thing, but at its easiest, it's not easy.
So just a thought, just a thought.
Somebody said one time years ago that the secret to a happy marriage is still a secret.
Well, I think there's a certain degree of truth to that in that The success part, and there are many, many marriages that are successful.
No one knows why.
It's great, it's communication, it's a variety of things, but no one knows why.
Just remember that while it's a wonderful thing, and we talk about divorce all the time, it is gut-wrenching.
It is Devastating and emotionally eviscerating.
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