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Feb. 6, 2024 - Louder with Crowder
54:17
Trans Felon & Namesake of Colorado’s Controversial Bill Hosted Drag Event Featuring 14-Year-Old!
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Time Text
🎵 Outro Music 🎵 Two.
Three.
Jump with me.
Flip flops with me.
Fall with me.
It's such fun.
Good morning!
Jump with me.
Flip flops with me.
Jump.
Jump with me, sit cross with me, oh with me, can you, such fun, jump with me, sit cross
with me, jump oh with me, me.
Great big hit, I'm playing like you're on, mm-hmm-hmm, The slavery was okay, I'm playing music, and good,
But if you're great big hit, I'm playing like you're on, mm-hmm-hmm, Great big hit, I'm playing music each day, each day.
Jump with me, sit cross with me, oh with me, can you, such fun,
mm-hmm, with me, one, sit cross with me, jump oh with me.
This is all so much fun! Mm-hmm-hmm!
Just a bit of sizzlin' on a plane. Music each day is a dope hit.
Just a bit of sizzlin' on a plane. Lights your life, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
Just a bit of sizzlin' on a plane. Music each day is useful and dumb.
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
I can't even see anything, I'm screwed!
This isn't funny, I won't do it!
Cable, print, and big tech.
The media lies all day.
Lie harder!
Lie faster!
Aren't we supposed to know what the truth is anymore?
Truth is irrelevant.
Obfuscation is key.
Is it all funny news, Wonka?
They think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, now he's brought out the black homosexual!
Dan Jones!
Now I am gonna be sick!
It's the DNC's poor boy!
More people are coming on college campuses faster.
Let's cry.
They won't tell you which lies they will be spreading.
There's no knowing where they're going or who they're deplatforming.
Are they lying or just bending?
Doesn't matter once it's trending.
Ha-ha!
Not a shred of truth is showing.
From the investigations ongoing, are the overlords still eyeing, accusing the president of spying?
Yes!
The content they keep demonetizing for big tech keeps on lying!
But we're certainly not crying, because through Moth Club, they are dying!
Zach!
What I can tell you is that there was an incident that involved a student and I won't
get into the specifics of that.
of the year.
And so both schools have a full-time school resource officer.
Okay.
Alright, so you're just saying the difference is, cops came, there was more of a scene, so you want to let people know.
with this one there wasn't that same scene so you just didn't feel necessary to basically
just scare people i guess or alert you know something like that sure
so so
jenny Hey, you'll never guess who was arrested at the Grammys for
assault.
Killer Mike!
It's an honorary title.
Yes.
Not anymore.
Lots to get to today.
We're the wet bandits.
Let's hit the rundown really quickly.
We have a few stories to get to.
We have one mayor claiming that he can't do anything because he's black, and another mayor claiming he can do everything because he's black.
We have an exclusive here, a Mug Club exclusive, Tierra's Law.
Are you familiar with it?
It has to do with transgender individuals changing their names legally, which will make their rap sheet disappear.
And we have an exclusive with an underage drag show.
I will say the namesake of this law.
Who's typing so loud?
Are you angry at your keyboard?
Someone's mad at their keyboard.
And then we also have a tough on crime policy wins in El Salvador.
There's a trend in Latin America.
You saw what happened with Argentina.
That's why I said Latin America.
Afuera!
Central America, South America, I understand.
So we're going to be talking about a lot of that here today.
And we have an exclusive tomorrow on Mug Club Undercover that does relate to this.
And that's all I can say.
That's all I can say.
My question, I guess, to you is, if you were going to transform a third world country, what's the first thing you would tackle?
I would be all the murder.
Mike's yeah killer Mike's killer Mike's number two yeah I know but you know I was using it's a synonym ah synonym ah thank you not to be confused with an antonym which is peaceful Mike why would you confuse innocent Mike off of the top of the show not guilty Mike oh lord these are not good rap names arrested as a gray how are you number two Captain Morgan doing well how are you I didn't give you much cover there I couldn't, my ears are, I still have this, this virus thing, have you guys had this?
It just keeps lasting, like the coughing and the ears.
It's long-term.
I don't know, it sounds like maybe you guys have a lot of, like a little bit of your mica condensed?
Is it, no?
Not really.
Compressor?
No?
Alright.
When you hear this, you know I'm gonna love him.
In third chair, we thank him first, and then you cough.
Is it subliminal?
Wow.
Friday, March 1st, he's going to be in Des Moines, Iowa.
But, he's funny.
Josh Feierstein.
I'm good, I like Des Moines.
You know what?
I'm a little sad, actually.
Toby Keith died today.
I know.
Wait, really?
Yeah, Patriot.
Global War on Terror's greatest ally.
Yes.
That's right.
Yes, he was.
I get fired up every time I hear that song.
So sad.
He should have been a cowboy.
He should have been a cowboy.
Well, we'll pour out some beer for his horses.
Yeah, not whiskey for his men, though.
I think that's what got him, though.
I have a lot of whiskey girls out there, from what I understand.
His ex-girlfriend, unfortunately, got the last laugh.
Really?
She said, how do you like me now?
And we said, that's distasteful.
Oh, jeez.
Come on.
He's not playing on your radio.
No, he's not playing on your radio.
Well, he probably is today, actually.
Yes.
Well, you know.
Turn on your 99.5 The Wolf The Bull.
Raging Cajun, whatever station you listen to.
Yeah.
Tune in.
That guy did a lot of good.
Yeah.
Some Kobe Keith, you know.
I love this bar.
All right.
If at some point today, and this will happen today, when we talk about Tierra's Law, if you are familiar, 100%, okay?
It's a live show, by the way.
Weekdays, 10 a.m.
Eastern.
You should be watching on Rumble, just to be clear, if you're on Mug Club.
But if you're on YouTube and you see this, Head on over to Rumble, because we were trying to navigate this, we just said, you know what?
There's no way.
Strike, no strike at this point.
Come on.
There is no strike, I guess, only strike can do.
I hate you for that.
Well, no, that's why we're going to dump it.
We have to dump it.
Dump it.
We will.
I said dump it.
There's only one part of the story.
All right, so before we get to any of that, hey, you've heard of identity politics?
Of course you have.
Chicago mayor, you know, Brandon Johnson, by the way, he's like, remember Lori Lightfoot, you know, looked like the Simpsons fish?
Well then there's Brandon Johnson is now in.
And he told, this is a nice contrast with him and then the New York City mayor, they're both black guys.
So the Chicago mayor- Is that the news?
Told his constituents- That he couldn't right now focus on illegal immigration because... He has a black wife.
I have children who attend schools who have soccer games, y'all.
You know, you all are asking me as if I'm not a parent in this city.
I get it, I'm mayor.
I get it.
But you're asking me to give you a date and I have to court... Do you understand that you have not had a mayor like me?
I get that.
I have a wife, I have children, they have schedules.
And plus, we still have public safety that we have to address.
We still have the unhoused that we have to address.
I still have a budget that I have to address.
And I'm doing all of that with a black wife raising three black children on the west side of the city of Chicago.
I am going to the border as soon as possible.
A couple of things.
First off, he knows how to say asking.
He said it correctly the second time.
And the black lady behind him.
Can you play the end of that clip again?
Once you say, I have a black wife, she does this.
She goes, like the grandma on Family Matters.
She goes, what?
She looks like the grandma on Family Matters.
Watch her face.
We still have the unanswered that we have to address.
I still have a budget that I have to address.
And I'm doing all of that with a black wife raising three black children on the west side of the city of Chicago.
I'm going to the border as soon as possible.
She drops the chin like, mmm, Lisa's not a white wife.
By the way, at the same time, ish, ish.
It's like the Spider-Verse, only of asshole mayors.
The New York City Mayor, Eric Adams, he can do everything because of black.
Stand up, they need to see you.
Deputy Mayor Williams-Eyson, Deputy Mayor Mira Josie, Deputy Mayor Amazar, Deputy Mayor Maria Torres-Springer.
How many deputies you got?
I know, right?
Come on now, Sheriff.
Have you ever seen this much chocolate lead in the city of New York?
Because that's all that matters.
That's why people are hating on me!
To be fair, just again, context matters, he was pointing to the Hudson River where we saw Augustus Gloop.
So he was, yeah, look, he was... Oh, chocolate everywhere.
That's not chocolate, kid.
So you have Chicago mayor, can't do it because black.
New York City mayor, can do because black.
And then, you know, former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley, who also said something about black people.
I told them that if they would do this, that South Carolina would wrap their arms around them and take care of them.
I now officially work for you.
There is nothing that you could need that we won't make sure that we deliver.
Sorry, right clip.
Both those mayors just suck, dude.
But hey, you want to see my latest screen test?
Sure, what film?
Palette Cleanser?
What film this time?
This time I'm trying out for, I auditioned for Die Hard, but not the lead role.
It's a supporting role.
It's Sergeant Al Powell.
Hey.
How you doing?
Hey.
You're reading for Officer Powell from Die Hard.
I'm Josh.
Great.
So what got you off the street, Al?
You like lousy coffee or what?
Guess I couldn't do what I had to do out there anymore.
At least not out there.
I, uh... I had an accident.
The way you drive, I can see why.
I shot a kid.
Why are you smiling?
Oh, sorry.
I didn't realize it.
I guess I'm just happy to be here.
I'm sorry.
Can you read the line one more time for me?
Sorry, I just gotta get into character.
The way you drive, I can see why.
I shot a dog.
The way you drive, I can see why.
I shot a kid.
He's smiling again!
Okay, okay, okay.
I ate a dog.
I shot a kid.
I shot a kid.
Eleven years ago, oh it was dark.
He was big for his age.
Damn Ray Gunn looked real enough.
I had all the right excuses.
Damn Ray Gunn looked real enough, big for his age.
This sounds like I'm a racist cop.
Am I playing a racist cop?
I should probably get like a black guy to do this.
It'd make more sense, I think.
Anyway, you want me to go again?
No.
Oh.
I don't know how you keep auditioning for films that have already taken place.
Oh, they're rebooting them.
Oh, they're rebooting them.
They're rebooting them.
It's like a remake.
Yeah, they're going to put them on, I don't know, what network?
Roku or something?
Yeah, Pluto.
Roku has a network.
You can comment below.
What film do you want to see Josh spice up next?
Yeah, they're doing all kinds of films.
Pretty much any film, I can make them reboot it.
And we have the Truck Giveaway.
It ends on February 29th.
You can go to CrowderShop.com.
We're also giving away $10,000 cash.
Brand new Ford Raptor right now as we are discussing this breaking news.
Let's go to CNN.
Nothing up our sleeves.
Of course, we are live.
You just got the appeals court ruled that Trump does not have presidential immunity in 2020.
Is that what's going on there?
So he has all of the legal defenses of any other defendant there.
But this is news.
This is brand new.
We kind of expected this, though.
We expected the appeals court to come back.
Trump wanted it to go directly to the Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court wanted the appeals court to kind of let it go through the regular process.
Right, so right now you're gonna see Democrats doing a victory lap saying Trump cannot have any presidential immunity that was his soul like I was the president United States I have immunity blah blah blah claim to all of this and they're saying right now that no he doesn't so these guys are gonna be talking about this and well the appeals court is saying that One might almost argue that President Trump, some people say former president, some people say sitting president, I say sitting president.
Some might argue that he actually has a far better chance at a favorable ruling with the Supreme Court.
You know, one would think, instead of, what is it, this is the D.C.
appeals?
Yeah, of course, these guys hate Trump.
There's an argument to be made.
I'm not making it, some do though.
Calm down.
This isn't over.
No.
This is far from over.
First off, it's not over.
He could have presidential immunity.
And second, it doesn't matter.
He still may beat their ass.
So it's just, don't be a defeatist.
We expected this with this court.
It's unfortunate, but your ruling, it can depend on the court.
It can depend on the judge.
Of course, if you're talking juries, but it can depend on the mood that day.
If you have precedent, or precedents depending on what we're discussing here, both are legal
terms that can go either way and a judge can make a decision.
That happens all the time.
Yeah, and I hope if they're going to convict him of something, I hope it happens like two
weeks before the election, doesn't affect anything, he becomes president on day one
and he's like, guess who I'm pardoning?
Me!
Yes!
And Lil Wayne.
It'd be so funny if he didn't pardon himself.
Killer Mike!
Not a killer!
Bring in a giant mugshot for the Oval Office.
That's his portrait.
By the way, speaking of CNN, look at his face!
Look at his face!
CNN, this lady... Tell me this doesn't look like this.
What?
What the heck is that?
That doesn't look right.
That's in a primarily agrarian ecosystem.
What did he just put up?
A farm?
Look up, lady.
What the heck?
Do we have the side by side?
Are we a professional organization or not?
That's the same image!
What the heck is going on?
This is great to lead into our exclusive of sex offenders.
Alright, whatever.
Do we have it or no?
We do have it, it's just, it's not bringing the image that he has to the table.
Admonish!
Why do we have an image of a farm with no context anyway?
That's the background of his desktop.
Tim, it is soothing.
Admonish.
Why do you have a farm background?
You don't farm!
You're not a farmer!
I don't know that much about the... Here, I'm admonished.
Not on you!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get that on the monitor.
Yeah, come on.
There you go.
That's better.
Alright.
This is off to a great start.
I still don't see your overlay yet.
Okay, alright, fine.
Once you see it, it won't be worth it.
Fine, whatever.
Okay, so here's something that we have here.
Are you familiar with Tierra's Law?
Okay, and we have an exclusive here, an exclusive footage to some people who've worked here at Mug Club Undercover, and we have an exclusive story tomorrow.
Can't fill you in on all of it because it may tip our hand a little bit, but it ties in.
So, there's a new bill that has been proposed in Colorado, okay?
It's HB 1071.
Now, this is known as Tierra's Law, and we'll get into who Tierra is, I'm sure you can guess.
It's not okay.
It's not what you would picture primarily as a tiara in your mind, unless... Princess?
You know exactly where this is going.
So this bill would allow transgender felons to change their name for a good cause.
This is legal jargon you need not concern yourself with.
Here's a clip.
Democratic State Representative Lorena Garcia introduced HB 1071.
It clarifies in state law that if someone has a felony and they're also trans, they can get their name changed if the court allows it.
If people get their name changed, whether they're trans or not, their criminal record
still is attached to their social security number, to who they are, to their whatever
identifying factors.
So, I'm going to play a little bit of that.
Let me read this from colorado.gov.
It says the bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
So, I'm going to go ahead and get started.
go ahead and get started.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the petition...
...and that's not true.
The bill states that good cause includes changing the So, I'm going to go ahead and get started. So, I'm going to
in Colorado.
She's a performer.
She's also a convicted felon.
So in Florida, when you have three of a similar charge, whether they're misdemeanors, if they're misdemeanors, and they're three of a similar charge, they become a felony charge.
So that's where my felony came from, was from being a sex worker.
And having three different charges for that.
Kelly says that felony conviction changed her world.
As she began to transition, a piece of her past always stayed.
her legal name.
So, let's get started.
So, so
So So
ahead and start with the video.
So, I'm going to go ahead and start with the video.
you So, I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go
No.
Allegedly.
What about Nashville?
The Nashville PD?
You can't say this, you can't say that because it's gonna tip our hand and then you know someone's gonna sue us.
It's a pretty big story.
Have we been sued by BlackRock?
No.
Allegedly.
What about Nashville? The Nashville PD? The mayor?
Uh, they'll get on that.
Okay, they'll get on that, just to be clear.
They still have to reinstate some officers.
Without you, none of this happens.
By the way, you can send your tips to LWCtips at lottowithcreditor.com.
Encrypted tip line, we will go to jail to protect our sources.
None of this investigative journalism happens without you.
We are incredibly appreciative.
And, uh, hey.
Pretty good batting average.
some music.
I'm going to play a little bit of the song.
Do an incident.
That's all I can say.
It's an incident.
It's an incident.
Okay.
We will be sending out to you by the way.
We know it'll be throttled.
We know that we so you can join the Mug Club.
We'll rely on you to be getting it out there because if we get it out, it's probably gonna be taken down.
We know that.
One more thing about this case like we're this is not we're not done with this.
No.
Like, this is a law that's in Colorado right now being considered, or I'm sorry, a bill being considered in Colorado.
Think about every other leftist state, but if you think you're safe because you're in a Republican-ish state, you're not.
We are partnering with other groups, I can't say any more than that, in Colorado right now to make sure that we expose this and that we get people mobilized.
If they're going to have people out there trying to get you arrested for protesting,
you're going to have all the support we can possibly provide to make.
So, thank you.
Thank you.
Do you guys, I wanted to talk about the El Salvador election, okay, just to be clear, but what I actually want to do is read this childhood book, Hooper Humperdink, and I think we could do the El Salvador.
You guys let me know because this is the meanest, Shit.
I was reading it to my children.
Apparently this book is worth like a thousand bucks.
This is bigger than El Salvadorians?
I just, you know, it's been on my heart, it's been on my mind, and I think that El Salvador is still going to be there tomorrow.
Yeah.
El Salvador might be there tomorrow.
Yeah, it might not.
This guy's doing some pretty good work, so I think it'll be there.
You want to do it tomorrow?
Yeah, I mean, you know.
This is weird.
We're going to take a flyer.
Look, go with me on this, okay?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow we have another- Our overlay machine is working.
Oh, so we can't do this?
I'll try to get them in here when we piss off YouTube.
Well, I know, but I was gonna start it now before we- Oh, start it now?
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
The overlay machine isn't working?
No.
Well then- I'm tried right now.
I guess do we think the just I'm trying to figure out the best thing to do here because half of our machinery doesn't
work Lady all right. Yes. She's the full thing. That's
resting felon face Let's see what they're talking about.
Donald Trump.
We are getting new reaction from the Trump camp.
Let's get right to Kristen Holmes for that.
Kristen, what are you hearing?
Yeah John, we finally got a statement here and notably they do say that they are going to appeal and appeal quickly.
This is the statement from Trump campaign spokesperson Stephen Chong.
He says, if immunity is not granted to a president, every future president who leaves office will
be immediately indicted by the opposing party.
Circuit Court.
Right.
D.C.
Circuit Court.
I confirmed it.
One of my least favorite of the circuit courts.
Yeah.
Jack Smith's prosecution of President Trump for his presidential official acts
is unconstitutional under the doctrine of presidential immunity and the
separation of powers. Prosecuting a president for official acts violates the
Constitution. And this was the DC Circuit Court. Right. DC Circuit Court. I confirmed it.
President Trump respectfully disagrees with the DC Circuit.
One of my least favorite of the circuit courts. Yeah. You work that court
circuit? No I just don't like it.
I worked that circuit.
I was doing shows out there.
I was working the Schenectady circuit.
That is something that obviously these judges did not agree with.
Now, as you noted, Supreme Court, they will be able to appeal this for February 12th to the Supreme Court.
Unclear whether or not they will take this up.
No, it's not unclear!
Hey, hey, hey, uh, Mission Control, didn't they say, or at least one of the judges said it was going to make it to the Supreme Court?
I can't remember who.
It's talking about presidential immunity!
Are you kidding me?
Nothing rises to the Supreme Court more than that!
Think about it for a second.
If not that, then why does the Supreme Court exist?
Exactly.
Where do you get these people, CNN?
It would certainly be within the legitimate purview of the Supreme Court.
They're trying.
That's all.
They're trying.
I don't have much else to say about it.
They really, and by the way, I just, I don't know how, like, you know that I like a woman in a good turtleneck.
Yes.
Wait, what?
Really?
Yeah.
You do?
It's a thing.
Hide that neck, you slut.
It's a thing.
No!
You lose all the heat in the neck.
Yeah, it makes me want them more, though.
Oh, now I just want to see your collarbone!
Yeah, but the problem is now I don't know if they pull it down and there's an Adam's apple smiling at me!
So I don't trust the turtleneck anymore.
Peek-a-boo!
The highest I'll go is like a mock neck.
If it's athleisure.
It's not the Piranhas chick though, her turtleneck didn't work.
I know that we have this before, the Supreme Court said, one of the judges said this is very likely going to make the Supreme Court.
Yeah.
I have no idea, Heather.
There's no way, right?
So you're talking about January 6th, you're talking about an insurrection, which apparently was the worst event in the history of the United States, and the President claiming it's not going to be heard by the Supreme Court?
Right.
Really?
Sounds like a Supreme case here.
I don't understand.
What person who knows anything about just life?
I don't even think you need to know politics or the courts or judicial processes.
Just say, well, yeah, of course.
Hold on a second.
I'm hearing that before we go to piss off YouTube to go to Mug Club, Josh had taped more.
Did he?
There's more from the screen test.
Oh, no.
Oh, there's a couple more scenes?
Yeah.
Oh, Lord.
I ate a bird.
Cut.
I made a blog.
Cut.
I shot a frog.
Cut.
I touched a kid.
Cut.
I shot a black kid.
No!
I robbed a kid.
Cut.
I robbed a dog.
Cut.
A kid shot me.
I shot a bunch of kids.
Cut.
I shot Kid Rock.
Cut!
Kid Rock?
I don't know.
Come on!
I mean, I guess because he's drinking Bud Light.
All right, we're gonna move on since today is... we have some tech issues.
We'll talk about the El Salvadorian guy tomorrow.
Guy who won the election by a landslide.
Tough on crime.
Afuera!
A different guy, but we like those guys now.
But has anyone ever read this book?
So I'm gonna read this here today.
Hooper Humperdinck is reading it to my little ones, and this thing traumatized me as a kid.
I'll be honest, I didn't believe you.
I thought you were making it up.
This is an entire book where they go through the ABCs, right?
They name all the people who are going to be invited to this wonderful party.
So Alvin, Abe, and Andy, and Bobby, Bruce, and then they go through C's.
Billy.
But they continually make it a point to say, but not Hooper Humperdink.
Screw that guy!
And as best I can see, this book for children, the only thing he's guilty of is maybe being poor.
This is the book where I learned my ABCs.
In the back of this book here is where they have the ABC roller coaster.
I don't know if you want to... I know you have the pages.
That's not for poor kids.
That coaster's not for poor kids.
No.
See, look.
Here you go.
This is how I learned my ABCs.
You said you're reading this to your kids and it traumatized you?
It didn't traumatize me!
Just making sure.
The point is that, you know, look, spoiler, I'm gonna foreshadow it, there's a little bit of redemption, but not that much.
Not that much.
And I just sit there, it's like, some of it is just, you know, lazy writing where Dr. Seuss is like, there's a walk-in in my pocket, and there's a gazoo on my schnozoo.
You're like, that's not an actual word.
You're just making up shit.
But Hooper Humperdinck definitely sounds like it's rooted in some kind of real-life person.
Yeah, there was a guy that really pissed off this Dr. Seuss.
His name was probably like Harold Humpernickel or something.
Yeah, really close.
He's like, yeah, like, I can't tell, doctor!
Actually, this book is not by Dr. Seuss.
Who's it by?
Oh, that's right.
This is so old.
It's by Harry Humperlake.
Theo LeSiege.
How do they pronounce his name?
Theo LeSiege?
Yeah, I think it's LeSiege.
Yeah, this is an original.
So someone can let me know how much this is worth.
It's before he was going by Dr. Seuss.
But this is him, though.
This is him.
Yeah, it's Dr. Seuss.
But he's joined by his... Which maybe that's why.
Maybe he had a mean streak at this point in time.
Alright, so I'm going to read this for you.
I want to know who wrote the book about him.
And we're gonna finish this on Mug Club because it gets too irritating.
So you can join, you know, $89 annually with a hand-etched, girthy, hand-painted mug.
Or... Girthy.
You can, of course, go mugless for $9 a month.
Okay.
Alright.
We have the pages now, Toolman?
Son of a bitch!
You signaled me!
You can't say yes!
I didn't know you were going to read before YouTube.
I was going to pull him out then.
Alright, fine.
I'll just start it with this.
I'll start it here and then we'll have the overlays because we have to restart the machine here.
I'm going to have a party, but I don't think that I'll ask Hooper Humperdinck.
That's the first God-forsaken line, and he's sitting there with his dog in the bushes like, oh my God, children, happiness!
And it's like, fuck you, Hooper Humperdinck.
That was the first thing he thought.
He's like, I'm going to have a party.
Also, Hooper's not coming.
Yeah, it's like Marley was dead to begin with.
It's like, Humperdinck's a dick.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Show the picture again.
Show the picture of Hooper Humberding in the bottom there.
He's the bot?
Yeah, right there.
Okay, good.
Is that a kid of color?
No, it's not.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, no.
No.
Look at that.
It's not that mean.
I'm like a kid of color.
So now we begin going through this.
So when people talk about marginalizing, Hooper Humberding's a white kid, okay?
He's a white kid.
He's a little white boy, and he was marginalized here.
What is going on over there?
You're passing notes in class.
I swear to God, if they're love notes.
What?
How much it's worth?
What is it?
I can't see it.
It's too blown out.
$1,450.
$1,450?
Oh, I shouldn't be... Hey, yeah, take it easy with that book, Stephen.
Jesus.
That version's a little beat up.
I'll sell it and I'll send a little bit to Hooper Humperdinck's estate.
There you go.
What a guy.
Throw him a party.
I'll ask Alice.
I'll ask Abe.
I'll ask Bob and Bill and Babe.
Oh, so we've gotten through to the B's.
Oh, Babes.
I'll ask Charlie, Clara, Cora, Danny, Davey, Daisy, Dora.
I'll ask Denny, I'll ask Dot, but Hooper Humperdink, I'll not.
Now you put him in the woods?
Bring it back!
He's in the woods!
He's been down, he had a bush, now he's behind a tree in the woods.
He lives with the wolves?
What is this kid?
Is this the Mowgli?
The other kids have scooters and whatever the hell this is that Dr. Seuss created, and then this kid is alone in what appears to be the Pacific Northwest forest.
It's not even the same region.
Look, this is all deciduous and that's coniferous.
Oh yeah, he's in the pines.
Look at that guy.
Stay in the mountains, you poor kid.
You poor mountain kid.
Poor pest.
It goes on with who else he will invite.
Elma, Ellie, Ethel, Ed, Freda, Francis, Frank and Fred, Alesk, George and Gus and Gary, Henry, Hedda, Hank and Harry.
Hedda's not a name, it's a bullshit name.
I'll ask every kid I like.
Irene, Ivy, Izzy, Ike.
Joe and Jerry, Jack and Jim.
But Hooper Humperdinck, not him.
And now he's by a roadside with his only friend, a dog.
When they're pulling a boat, which by the way is a gross violation of highway safety.
Look at that, that's a boat in a bed of water, transporting cherries.
What kind of torque they got on that truck?
I don't think they can handle that.
You invite Ivy, Izzy, Ike?
But Hooper, Hooper Humperdinck, not him.
Like, you're going out of your way now.
You're going out of your... Look, I just want to be really clear here.
I'm inviting a lot of people, but not this kid.
And I'm not going to tell you why.
You know what you did.
What did he do?
What is he, below the poverty line?
All I can see is a little dirt on his face.
How dare you.
Mike and Ike, both invited.
Both of them!
Killer Mike!
Jerry Bench.
Here we go.
It gets even worse.
Look, the next page.
That humperdink.
I don't know why, but somehow, I don't like that guy.
He doesn't even have a good reason.
You don't even have a justification.
Some people hate for no reason.
That's what this book is.
And now he's on a farm, and his dog is even sad.
Bring it back up, Toolman.
Come on, don't be so quick.
You've made his dog sad.
The hiding man in the tree, is that him?
Yeah, and he has a little spot on his face.
Again, I think he's just a poor kid.
They're like, look at him.
He has dirt on his face.
He doesn't deserve basic human needs met like love and a social circle.
Or parents.
You're lucky that he didn't just come in and become another school.
You're lucky, Ike and Izzy.
Jerry, you're not a school shooting statistic.
Well, this is a long time ago.
It makes that shit that Lucy pulled with the football look like child's play.
It is child's play.
Oh yeah, Lucy was a saint compared to this kid.
What's this kid's name by the way?
Does he have a name?
No, it's just written from the, I think it's, I think this is just from Theo Le Sieg, commonly known as Dr. Seuss.
A party needs a band to play.
So now he has a, this is a big budget party.
Look at the band's name.
Look at the band's name, dude.
Yeah, that's what it's, and so I'll get a band, okay?
The KK Cats are on their way.
That's not a dog whistle.
That's a siren.
What?
Those are cool, crispy cats, dude.
What?
And I like Lucy, Luke and Lum.
Look at the size of this table.
Look at the size of this table and Hooper Humphrey is not welcome.
He's not welcome.
They won't even give the poor son of a bitch leftovers.
And I like Lucy, Luke, and Lum.
I like the Leicesters.
They can come.
And Mark and Mary, Mike and Mabel.
I'll have to get a bigger table.
Oh, wow, great.
So you have other tables?
Yes.
And chairs, but none for... Hold that back up.
And by the way, nobody has this many friends.
Nobody does.
And by the way, I'm surprised there wasn't... He's inviting strangers at this point.
Yes, exactly.
I'm surprised there wasn't a burning cross for the candle on the cake.
Yes, exactly.
The KKK.
Geez.
Oh, and this one's great.
They'll come by air by parachute.
Nora, Norton, Nat, and Newt.
Who is that?
And now we're just making up crap.
And I'll have that a open beam.
I'll have to order more ice cream, fat bitch.
For the fat lady?
And then, I'm sure you can guess where this is going.
I'll need about 10 tons, I think.
But none for Hooper Humperdinck.
You have so much ice cream.
So much ice cream.
He's got a sore throat, this poor Hooper Humperdinck.
So much ice cream.
They have two Eskimos in the ice cream.
Bitch!
They can fit in the ice cream.
And you won't give it to Eddie, to Hooper Humperdinck?
Because he has a mole?
Because he has a little bit of dirt on his cheek?
What if that's poop?
I don't like him because he craps on his face.
He would've called it Hooper Stink, too.
But he doesn't know why.
So you know it's not a race thing, though, because they got the Eskimos in there.
It's definitely not a race thing.
Well, they're probably slaves.
Cat spelt with a K.
Two K's.
No, it's KK Cats.
Igloo Ice Cream Company.
They hired the whole company for God's sakes.
And look at Hooper Eberding with his dog, too, by the way, the other unintended victim here.
They're on the side of what looks like an overpass.
Oh, it must be so nice to be included in the largest party ever!
He's trying to sneak a lick.
You need to take your anger... I know, okay, fine.
So look, we're going to finish this because it only gets worse.
You're halfway through it already.
So we're at the O's, and we have to make it through the Z's.
Oh, wait until I get to the Q's.
Whoever this kid is, sorry, Dr. Seuss, is a real prick when I get to the Q's.
Hit that button if you're watching on Rumble, and then if you're on YouTube... Did we have to dump this at all?
No.
I don't think so.
Maybe a few words.
We'll find out if we had to.
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