All Episodes
Previous Next
June 22, 2022 - Louder with Crowder
01:03:22
UVALDE UPDATE: We Now Know HOW BAD Police Botched It | Louder with Crowder
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
🎵Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere🎵 🎵Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere🎵
🦋 🦋
Are you ready, kids?
🦋 I can't hear you!
Who lives in a swamp right under the sea?
Who sniffs your aunt's head and won't let her flee?
Who touches your mom and gropes all the kids?
Be sure not to tell your dad what I did!
Biden, Grubbz! Biden, Grubbz! Biden, Grubbz! Biden, Grubbz!
Bramstock.com!
This fall, six cities prepare for two...
...rivals with a cause.
If you like it, you should've put a ring pop on it, you know what I'm saying?
You think Genghis Khan would stand for this shit?
Phoenix Houston
Charleston Nashville
New York Baltimore
The Rebels with a Cause Comedy Tour Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com slash tour
Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com
It's called a quick sip because I don't really feel like doing it right now
I'm squeezing.
Yeah, I know.
I know they're Yakuza.
I'm squeezing a stress ball today.
It's actually a great little stress ball.
It's from Iron Mind, the green.
I mean, look, you'll hear it.
Hear it?
It's heavy.
Wow, that is heavy.
Ow!
That's it.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah!
Wings it at Dave.
All right.
We'll try and start with levity because it is a dark day.
It's a dark day in American history, and if we can make today fun for you, if we can make today entertaining, well then, I guess we're not the failures that our parents thought we were.
A lot of stuff going on.
First off, the Navy now.
Good to see they have emphasis on priorities, obviously.
They are going to start using the proper pronouns.
Because that was a problem.
Really?
And a gun control bill just passed the Senate.
We're going to give you the names of the Republicans.
Or the spineless weasels.
Weasels technically have spines.
Spineless worms.
All worms are spineless, that's redundant.
And break down why things that sound good on their surface, why they hurt you.
And I don't mean in a figurative sense, I mean in a very real, literal sense.
Could cause you grave physical harm, not to mention strip you for constitutional rights.
And that's sort of the theme today because we now also see what happens when good guys with guns, meaning law-abiding citizens, cannot protect themselves when they are not allowed their God-given rights.
We have an Ivalde update with the police.
Who lied.
About a lot.
When people say Bush lied, people died, how about these police lied and children died?
And, uh, look, there's no other way to put it.
It's cowardice.
It's cowardice.
We have a cowardice problem in this country.
We have a cowardice problem with Republicans and the gun control bill.
We have a cowardice problem with police.
And even if some police wanted to go in there, into the unlocked door where they had ballistic shields, by the way, and we'll get to all these details, even if they wanted to, they were too afraid to stand up to their boss.
They're too afraid to stand up to police unions, which is something that people don't want to mention.
Sure, I back the blue in many ways, but you don't back all of the blue.
You know, maybe there's some racist cops out there, too.
Maybe there are, and maybe the unions help cover it up sometimes.
Sometimes that happens, absolutely.
It's not the epidemic they make you believe.
But it's also not exclusive to race.
Police lie to protect themselves, just like everyone lies to protect their jobs.
The problem is when you're dealing with municipal employee unions who are funded by your tax dollars and there's nothing you can do about it.
And it's a pretty tough pill to swallow when your kids are dying behind doors in a school.
And they even stop a dad trying to save his dying wife.
That's another story that just came out, by the way.
Dad.
Good guy with a gun.
Wanted to go in and protect those kids.
Wanted to go in and save his wife.
Wasn't allowed to do it.
But hey!
You know what?
The good news is we have a bunch of Republicans and Democrats who will sign a bill into law that will allow more of that to happen.
Also mammals, there are some mammals, we have some research, Thomas Finnegan, they're able to breathe anally.
Really?
Wow, that's a little palate cleanser.
Yeah.
I wouldn't, that's probably not fair.
Mouth to mouth.
That's a poor choice of words on my part, I agree.
So before I get to this, what kind of punishment do you think that the coward police officers in Uvalde should face?
There needs to be punishment.
We're going to be talking about cowardice and punishment.
Unfortunately, we often think of cowardice as something to be dismissed, as something to just be sort of pitied.
No, it warrants punishment.
Cowardice leads to death.
Often, not the death of the coward.
That's the problem.
It's usually the coward who causes the death of other people.
And we see that directly today.
So, hey, by the way, I know right now it's tough to buy, but the tour, Rebels of the Cause, we are in cities.
You can go to lineupwithcrowder.com slash tour.
It's in the fall.
We are in Phoenix.
Ahoy!
Houston.
Ahoy!
Charleston, West Virginia.
Ahoy.
Nashville.
Ahoy.
Just added a second show at 9.30 p.m.
in Nashville because the first one is not quite sold out, but there aren't a lot of tickets with four people, so kind of singles left.
Nine Ahoys.
Red Bank, New Jersey.
Ahoy.
And Baltimore.
Ahoy.
Okay.
So.
Ahoy.
The good thing is here, before we get to what's going on with the gun control bill and our children dying as a result of Cowardice and, by the way, just forbidding people of their fundamental... What is a gun?
Let's ask it.
What is a gun?
It's the right to defend yourself in the year 2022.
It's not just fisticuffs.
It's not blades.
If you do not have the right to own a firearm, you do not have the right.
You are being stripped of your God-given right to defend yourself and your family.
That's what a gun means.
But the good thing is we have an emphasis on priorities here in this country.
Speaking of guns, the Navy.
The military.
Perfect, because it's about to get really gay.
Yep.
Turns out they were right.
You can bang a guy named Steve in the Navy.
Ask him his pronouns first.
Boy, did they really carve themselves out a niche, the village people.
And it happened before major gay awareness was there, so it happened under straight Americans' eyes, like Liberace.
They were like, oh yeah, it's just a bunch of guys in chaps.
Yeah, we were all singing the song.
It's just so easy to sing.
Yeah, they had like a construction worker, a leather man.
I like how there's just a leather man.
Yeah, exactly.
Everything else makes sense, and then leather man.
Leather man.
There was one big ad for Leatherman Tools.
Yeah.
There was also a Gerber.
It's just leather.
What is his profession?
That's what I mean.
It's just a leather.
It's like, okay, I see you're Native American.
I see you're a... That's also not a profession.
No, but at least it's a thing.
Actually, you are paid to be Native American, so technically that's a profession.
But yeah, when you're a leather man, you're just into deviant sex in dirty parts of San Francisco in the 1970s.
What's your job?
I'm just here to be titillating.
His original costume had a ball gag, they thought that was a little much, so they pulled that off.
Cop, construction worker, profession, and an entire race of people.
Native American.
Let's do that.
Yeah, watch Can't Stop the Music, the Village People movie, and I guarantee you by the end you'll have a lower T-cell count.
Something stopped that music.
Watch it and you need chemo.
Alright, so the Navy has now taken on all of these, well they've taken on challenges historically, you know, Okinawa.
Midway.
The movie was not very good.
Not at all.
But it was made.
Now, the Navy has a new battlefield.
Not like the Air Force with stretchy maternity suits.
They have a new training video!
Can't wait for us to die.
It's gonna be maverick.
Goose is just a lady in her third trimester.
Crying out loud.
Baby's just liquefied in the body from the G-forces.
Oh, this was a good idea.
That's how Goose died.
They weren't using his pronouns when they were talking to him.
No, the G-forces that give birth to soup.
There's no Goose here.
I believe there's a first term you're supposed to use.
And he's dead.
Yep.
Oh.
Talk to me, Z. Now there's a new training video designed to create safe spaces in our Navy using what is most important in the field of battle, uh, appropriate pronouns.
Hi, my name is Johnny and I use he, him pronouns.
Hi, and I'm Conchie and I use she, her pronouns.
And we're here to talk about pronouns.
What is a pronoun?
A pronoun is how we identify ourselves apart from our name.
And it's also how people refer to us in conversations.
Using the right pronouns is a really simple way to affirm someone's identity.
It is a signal of acceptance and respect.
If it's a signal of acceptance and respect, how do we go about creating a safe space for everybody?
That's a good question.
A really good way to do that is to use inclusive language.
Instead of saying something like, hey guys, you can say, hey everyone, or hey team.
We're making sure America isn't a safe space.
Another way that we could show that we're allies and that we accept everybody is to maybe include our pronouns in our emails or, like we just did, introduce ourselves using our pronouns.
Oh my gosh, fantastic work guys.
Great, great job team.
Did anyone know, was Omaha Beach, was that a safe space?
Sir!
How safe was it?
How dare you call me by the... Pile!
You look good.
Yeah.
Looking good.
I don't... It's unbelievable.
You can't even refer to your rifle as she.
No.
Plane names are gone.
All that fun.
Why?
Well, here, the good news is that right now, we're one step ahead of the game.
China is commissioning new aircraft carriers heading towards Taiwan.
Russia is essentially threatening to blow up Lithuania.
So they're strengthening their military, and if you see their recruiting ads, it's very, very different.
But the good thing is, we take a softer style approach.
um, and uh, as a matter of fact, so soft that the United States military and uh, these uh, the Russian Chinese
Chinese military They've they've come together to form a joint military
recruitment video. Um, there you go. But what would I do if I?
misgender someone Some people may be going through the process of discovery
and they are not ready yet to tell you what their pronouns Are and that's okay
There's no easy way out There's no shortcut home
So I should just lead with my pronouns and they may follow or not and if they don't then I can
just continue to use gender-neutral language.
There's no easy way out There's no shortcut home
The argument was if you look like a female then it's she-her because that's what's normal
and if you make me call you something else then you're infringing on my rights.
There's no easy way out There's no shortcut home
There's no easy way out Giving in can't be wrong
I don't want to testify I don't want to drag you down
But I'm feeling like a prisoner Like a stranger in an old name town
I see Some names are very difficult to pronounce, but do you know what is very easy to pronounce?
She, he, they.
Thank you, Bangladeshi Sammy Davis Jr.
Listen, great acting.
Find the most effeminate man.
Just call him, just call him babe, babe.
Mr. Z Jankos.
So.
And Z danced for her.
Him.
Oh my gosh.
By the way, you know what?
Whenever you see in those videos, they say, that's a good question.
It means that it's not.
Very much so not.
It means it's not a good question that they have to reinforce.
That's a good question.
It means, that's a really stupid question.
I can't believe that you would ask.
Also, it's just, and if someone looks like a woman, yeah, because that's how we describe all trans people.
Yeah, what if they don't?
Like every trans person I've ever seen in real life with the exception of Blair White.
What about that?
What if they don't look like a woman and they still demand to be called a woman?
What are the rules on that?
Sammy?
What if they look like both?
You make him the gym teacher and you call him coach until you figure it out.
Right.
Or a Disney executive producer.
Correct.
Can we just say shipmate and be done with it?
This would have been very easy to solve.
Okay, if you want to solve this... Can't say mate because that suggests reproductive biological processes.
Nope.
Not at all.
Doesn't.
This really has to stop, right?
Uh, when we all die.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When Skynet Falls Judgment Day is just gonna be a guy in a dress with lipstick on the fence.
Let's have a new carrier SS penis.
Pronouns means you're not there.
Yeah.
Right.
You would think so.
Well, that's what they're for.
Also, it would be very confusing in battle where it's like, are we getting reinforcements?
Like, yes!
They're coming over the hill, sir!
And that just means one trans person with a handgun.
I said, what?
You said they!
They are here!
They is here!
They is here to save you.
What are you not getting here?
Why is that a weird sentence?
Did you not watch our stupid-ass video?
Yes.
This is supposed to be a safe space.
All right.
Well, your friend's dead now.
Yeah.
I understand that, but yeah, we're all bleeding.
Yeah.
What would you like me to call you as you bleed out?
Because men can free bleed too.
Oh my god.
Okay, how about you?
Can we just have a friendly fire incident right now?
Can you just... Frank out!
I told you I could get my period.
That's a chest wound.
Yes.
That is nowhere near where vagina would be.
I can die!
A happy Z!
Tell my wife slash husband I lovesy.
Give me more morphine.
I'll find they.
They died before.
More estrogen pills, sir.
Give it to him.
It is mail.
I want big breasts at my funeral.
M-Mama!
Father!
Mama!
Father!
I can't remember!
We should just remake Private Ryan.
Come on guys!
Z's!
Come on Z's!
This is too much.
This is too much!
How hard is it to just call somebody she, he, him, her, hi, him, zee, zir, zim, zam?
Yeah, when are we gonna get to basic weapons training?
Oh, that's not a thing anymore.
No, we don't do that.
We don't do that.
That's aggressive.
Well, you do not do that.
That's toxic masculinity.
When we go into China, we just start misgendering them.
That'll take a month.
Bring them to their knees.
And it takes a long time to misgender them, because it's hard to tell them apart.
Well, they said some names are hard to pronounce, and I was like, well, that's perfect.
Alright, let's get to the... I think we've done our part here, because now we have to get to the gun control bill in Uvalde.
Okay.
You think these Republicans... You can just comment.
You think these Republicans should be voted out?
I think you know where I line up.
And what is it that you've heard about this bill, exactly?
We've spent some time with it this morning.
You know what, I just have some questions on it.
So, let's first...
Brief you for those of you who don't know.
Tuesday, June 21st, a day which will live in infamy.
The Safer Communities Act passed a simple majority vote and it's going to proceed in the Senate.
The bipartisan Safer Communities Act came out just about an hour before we came on the air tonight.
Now, according to a statement, the bill, quote, will not infringe on any law abiding Americans' Second Amendment rights, unquote.
The bill includes state funding to implement so-called red flag laws.
It also includes enhanced background checks for people 18 to 21.
It addresses the so-called boyfriend loophole with that nexus between domestic violence and gun violence.
And it also closes a number of legal loopholes that have to do with buying guns in criminal proceedings.
Okay, we'll go back to Clip F in a little bit.
I love how he mentions boyfriend loophole.
Now, the bill doesn't say that, to be fair, but the media wants to just drill it into you.
Hey, how about crazy stalker bitch loophole?
How about that?
How about Amber Heard loophole?
By the way, women commit domestic abuse at far higher rates than men, but they want to say boyfriend loophole.
Domestic abuser man loophole.
So let me first just give you A briefer.
And then some questions I think you all need to ask.
So at least 14 Republicans are expected to help pass this bill.
Let me give you the names.
Mitch McConnell in Kentucky.
Gone.
Lindsey Graham, South Carolina.
Gone.
John Cornyn, Texas.
Gone.
Tom Tillis, North Carolina.
Gone.
Susan Collins, of course, should be.
Maine.
Gone.
Lisa Murkowski, Alaska.
Gone.
Bill Cassidy, Louisiana.
Good name, but gone.
Roy Blunt, Missouri.
Gone.
Richard Burr, North Carolina.
Gone.
Rob Portman, Ohio, gone.
Shelley Capito, West Virginia, gone.
Joni Ernst, of course, Iowa, gone.
Todd Young, Indiana, gone.
And Mitt Romney, Utah, it's a marvel that he has not been gone yet.
Utah, get your crap together.
She was right.
So, here's what we're looking at in the bill.
All references are available at loudearthcrowder.com.
Provides grants for state crisis intervention programs.
That's a nice way of saying red flag laws.
You're familiar with those.
We've gone over them.
Individuals targeted under the provisions have a right to defense, but they have to pay for it.
Must be nice.
They say that there have to be penalties for abusing the system, but guess what?
It goes to the states, and any state can define it.
Domestic violence.
They have a new, what they call the serious partnership, is what I believe the loophole, or serious partner loophole.
The media says it is a boyfriend loophole.
So what does this mean?
Because it used to be for husbands, wives, the term dating relationship means a relationship between individuals who have or have recently had a continuing serious relationship of a romantic or intimate nature.
Well, that's very clear.
That can't be abused.
Not at all.
And background checks for those under 21.
It's already a thing.
But now it's double.
Now it's double.
Doubly.
They're going to tighten the regulations for trafficking weapons, performing straw purchases, and by the way, includes many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many billions of dollars in unnecessary spending.
Okay, so let me go through this a little bit.
It sounds good on its surface.
Red flag laws.
People say, well, yeah, we can all be on board.
Red flag laws.
People who are mentally unstable.
People who are, yeah, mental health.
Okay, good.
And that's just sort of, that's sort of used as a cudgel.
Yeah, mental health.
Okay.
Let me cycle through a few.
I have a question.
All right?
Question.
What exactly constitutes a red flag?
Let's be clear about that.
Is that clearly defined?
Keep in mind, this goes back to the state.
So what is the red flag law?
Who determines who is mentally unfit?
Does this bill make it very clear?
Hey, this is what a red flag is.
There has to be something you have to be ment... For example, right now we have a clear... We have a clear hurdle that needs to be cleared.
You know, you have to be adjudicated mentally defective.
Yeah.
In a court, that's good.
Well, now a red flag is anyone can flag you.
Your neighbors.
Okay.
Alright, so your neighbors can flag you and that almost seems like it could be, you know, just right for abuse.
What are the punishments?
For someone who falsely uses red flag laws.
Is that clearly outlined in the bill?
No.
Oh, wait a second, the bill just says there must be punishments, but, you know, it goes to the states.
So, New York, maybe, for example, they can violate, they can remove your constitutional right to carry a firearm, to defend yourself, because some, I don't know, some scorned lover, someone you had a one-night stand with is mad at you, you lose your right to defend yourself, and then it's whoopsies, what, New York may implement a fine?
I would be on board maybe.
Look, let's have a compromise.
There needs to be a give and take.
What's the give?
We know what you take.
You take guns.
You take rights.
Red flag laws.
What's the give?
Someone abuses it ten years in a federal penitentiary?
Can we do that?
Can we have very clear punishments for abusive red flag laws?
Because if you don't, this is a violation of your fundamental rights. Yeah and
just to be clear we are not opposed to states being able to make their own rules in certain
situations but the states are going to be making rules on a law that shouldn't exist right this
law should not exist nationally for these very reasons also states shouldn't be making rules
that contradict the second amendment.
Right.
Like it shouldn't be there in the first place.
I'm generally a federalist.
This is one of the few areas it's not a state issue.
Yeah.
No, it's not a state issue because this is not some random law that was passed by Congress 15 years ago and upheld by the Supreme Court erroneously.
This is something in our founding documents that we've said is important to us existing as a country.
Right.
We can be another country if we want to have a different law, different group of amendments.
That's fine.
But we're not that country.
Yeah.
For example, they try and say, oh, infringing on your rights by using the wrong pronouns on a carrier.
Can you imagine?
How dare you?
What about infringing upon your rights if you are living in a violent area of town in, I don't know, New York or Los Angeles?
I'm just picking them randomly.
Or Chicago, where they have incredibly strict gun laws.
Is that not an infringement of your rights?
Your ability to defend yourself?
Hey, by the way, I know they're not convenient today.
They're not really a valuable tool, a valuable pawn for you.
Remember the Stop the Asian Hate?
Stop the Asian Hate?
Seems to me that maybe in a place like California, where these blue states will obviously enact incredibly restrictive gun laws, might make it harder for them to defend themselves.
They might have a word or two about that.
Yeah.
There's no audio on this.
Oh, gee.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
It sucked.
What happened?
Wrong pronoun?
Yeah, that's what I think.
Yeah.
It is ma'am.
Goodness.
So then they also say there's the serious relationship loophole.
Serious partner loophole.
Sorry.
Play clip F again.
This is where they say boyfriend loophole in the media.
It addresses the so-called boyfriend loophole.
Yes, you so-called it that.
Is it just boys though?
Yeah, in the Washington Post, they said it.
With all the new sexy pronouns, it's just the boys?
Yeah, it's just the boyfriend loophole.
Doesn't make sense.
Loopholes are for the boys!
Yes.
So, hey, I have a question.
Question for ya.
What are we talking about here?
What is this loophole?
Now, I understand domestic violence, meaning if someone is an actual serial abuser, you know, statistically more likely to be a woman.
Statistically even more likely to be a lesbian woman.
All references available at lottoesquire.com and you can also go to batteredlesbians.org and give generously.
We've set that up.
My question is what constitutes, we know right now that it already exists if you're convicted.
Right now, if you're convicted of domestic abuse, you can't own a firearm if you domestically abuse your wife or domestically abuse your husband.
So what is this?
Well, this expands it.
It allows the states to expand it to any degree that they want where it just can be a serious partner, which can really just mean anyone you've dated.
And by the way, it's really easy.
You don't have to be convicted.
Someone can just get a restraining order by going before a judge and saying, hey, he hit me, and abuse that system, and you lose your right to defend yourself.
But we've never seen that, Mattress Girl.
We've never seen that, UVA.
We've never seen that, Duke Lacrosse.
We've never seen that, Amber Heard.
That's a very real scenario where, let's say if they lived stateside, as opposed to their castle, their chateau in France, where Johnny Depp Could have had his right to own firearms removed because of something that we know is false from Amber Heard.
That's a very real scenario.
And by the way, it happens all the time.
Comment below if you're one of those guys or if you're one of those women.
Usually happens to guys.
Well, the process to get it back is painful.
Well, the process to get it back if you're convicted is very long, but that's... That, yes.
But even if you're innocent, this is one of those things you're guilty until proven innocent, almost.
Like, somebody can go and make an allegation against you, and then you can have your gun rights taken away, and then you have to go and prove No, wait a minute.
That's wrong.
I never did any of this.
I never said any of that.
By the way, we only dated, we only went out twice.
That was not a serious relationship.
You know?
It's so subjective now.
And they actually said in the bill, they were having a really hard time defining this.
Or in the article about the bill.
They were having a really hard time defining this and they couldn't come up with a good way to do it.
So instead of actually doing their jobs and figuring out a way to define this to make sure that it wasn't put onto the states, they just said, we have no idea.
We'll let them decide.
Yeah.
By the way, do you ever just wonder when you look at these, you go, hundreds of billions of dollars to just say, Hey, State, do that.
Put my name on that.
You're like, well, how does that cost hundreds of billions of dollars?
You just wrote a sheet of paper.
Well, there's this paperwork and then you have to file it.
You're not doing anything!
There's a filer.
Usually when I file something, it is around half a bill.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
This is a good law where it's just like, I'd like to get a firearm.
Have you been in a relationship with someone?
Yes.
Please get out of my store. You know what? Something we're not talking about either.
We've gone through this and now people have had a chance to dissect it and kind of understand
what it says. The senators that voted on this got this bill two hours before the vote.
I was going to say they didn't dissect it. And somebody made a snarky remark to like a
fifth grader could have read it in about an hour and I'm like it's not about reading a bill it's
about comprehending the bill and understanding the unintended consequences in the bill. Fact
checking the bill to make sure these things are true and then also all the stuff in the bill that
doesn't have anything to do with gun control at all. By the way name one of these provisions in
here that potentially could have stopped the shooting. And remember before you say he was
18 year old and had a rifle he also had handguns. He could have gone into that building with handguns
as well. Right.
That would have happened.
He had them.
Shouldn't have had them.
That was illegal.
That was already illegal.
Tell me what would have stopped this.
What are you doing?
The police?
We'd like to think so.
Yeah.
But no.
No.
Well.
No.
That didn't work.
Ballistic shields?
No.
No.
We'll get to that.
Oh boy.
Yeah, those things are, you know.
Can't have that.
An armed guard.
So it sounds good.
What constitutes domestic abuse?
Hey, look.
Women.
Let me put you in this picture, because let's be honest.
Statistically, women are more likely to be domestic abusers, but women are far more likely to file restraining orders and abuse a system to accuse someone of being a domestic abuser.
That is a fact, okay?
References available at ladderworthcreditor.com.
But let's say you're a woman who is now dating a guy.
Or is married to a man.
Who has a crazy ex-girlfriend.
This is an unrealistic scenario.
I know, women, you've never had to deal with the crazy ex of your boyfriend who is falsely accusing him of abuse.
And now your man can't have a gun in your house to protect you and your kids.
Do you see the problem?
Do you see the unintended consequences?
Look, you start with constitutional rights.
Period.
You have the right to own a firearm.
And then, if people violate other people's constitutional rights through force, if people violate the law, not new laws that you create, but constitutional laws, that's the only way that someone would forfeit any right to a firearm.
By the way, I love how they say, this would not affect law-abiding citizens at all.
Well, guess what?
You were a law-abiding citizen yesterday in Rhode Island.
No, you're not.
Whoops.
It goes into effect July 1st.
But my point is this.
Ten round magazines.
Yeah.
Now illegal.
You were legal.
You were a law-abiding citizen, but now you're not.
You can own a gun, but we've neutered it.
Right.
Essentially.
So I hope you took really good training, middle-of-the-night shooting practice.
And this is at the same time, I believe it's, is it New York or California where they're not allowing police to pursue criminals on foot?
That just came out.
I think it was Chicago, was it Chicago or LA?
We'll have to find it.
We'll have to find it.
They just did it because it's like, oh, because the last couple of times we've chased people that pulled guns on us, we shot and defended ourselves.
Right.
And we don't, that just looks bad.
So we want them to, you know, just run off into your neighborhood where, of course, you're not allowed to have firearms.
Well, what we've looked at is San Francisco, and it looks like that all those free, you know, lootings, they look good.
And here's another one where people, they say straw purchases, and this has often been used interchangeably with the gun show loophole.
Here's my question.
What does this bill actually do?
How does it change the laws of straw purchases?
What is a straw purchase?
Now let me be clear about this.
This is one thing that really confused me.
I tried to spend time with the bill this morning and I couldn't make sense of it.
And let me explain to you why.
It doesn't make sense!
So, here's what it is.
A straw purchase.
For example, I've done this where I've had classic firearms or something like that and I've transferred them.
I've had my half-Asian lawyer do a bill of transfer to family members.
Things like that.
This is something that happens.
Okay.
That's legal to do.
People try and act as though that's a gun show loophole where you simply go to a gun show or you go online and just a bunch of people are transferring you firearms.
Right.
It is already illegal, just to be clear, for example, let's say I had an old single-action revolver, like an old Navy revolver, and transferred it to my dad as a gift, okay?
It would already be illegal for me to do that if he cannot legally own a firearm, meaning if he's a felon, right?
We'd both be on the hook.
It's already illegal.
So this doesn't make the transfer what people consider the gun show loophole.
It doesn't even make that illegal.
It just makes it more illegal-er if I transfer privately to a criminal relative or friend.
It's double secret illegal.
Exactly!
It all makes sense.
And it adds, by the way, it adds.
Exportation.
So in other words, it's now extra illegal for you to transfer off the books guns to the Mexican drug cartel.
That needed to be... Because they're having a problem finding them.
What am I going to do with all my records?
I don't know, man.
No one's left unscathed in this one.
I have all my books.
What's the point of being a bookkeeper if you don't have evidence?
Making it more illegal-er.
More illegal-er.
Because people think, oh, red flag laws, that's very clearly defined.
No, it's not.
Oh, wait, the domestic abuser law.
I can't believe we didn't have that in the books.
We already do.
They're just a clear-cut legal definition.
Oh, wait a second, they're going to close the loophole where you can't do private transfers.
You can.
They're just going to make it illegal to give it to criminals, which was already illegal anyway.
And by the way, none of this is at a federal level.
It kicks it to the states.
Right.
And this is the thing, this is the thing here, okay?
This is not a state issue.
And I'm someone who believes that the states are great, great little science labs where you can just, fine, you guys want to legalize hallucinogenic mushrooms?
Great!
Texas can say that they don't want to do that.
You guys want to have a different property tax?
Fine.
You guys want to have a different school system?
You guys want to allow school vouchers?
Great!
States have the right to do these things.
States do not have the right, for example, to tell you that you can't speak out against the government.
States do not have the right to tell you that your First Amendment no longer applies.
They can't do that because it is one of your fundamental human rights.
What does that mean?
People will say, oh, rights are just a...
Rights are just an illusion, the idea of God-given rights.
Well, look, even if you think that, that's still how we recognize them here in this country, and it's a very different form of recognition than in other countries.
That's why we're the only one with the First Amendment, and we're the only country with the Second Amendment to protect it.
This is not a state issue.
So the shitty little libertarians who are in an internship at a think tank, who say, ugh, it's a state thing.
It's not.
This is not one.
I'm not saying all libertarians, but I'm saying there are some who've made that argument.
This goes to the states.
None of this should go to the states.
And let me be really clear about something, too.
Something that's really been bothering me lately is the false pseudo-intellectual platitudes that you hear.
People say, oh, freedom is just an illusion.
You know what?
That may be.
But you know what's a greater illusion?
The idea of security here in this country.
The idea that you're going to protect people by removing guns.
Hey, the idea of security.
You believe the TSA can actually stop a terrorist attack?
You have any idea how easy it would be?
Do you think the FBI is keeping you safe?
Security here in the United States, which is the constant, it's the constant cloud of security threats that allows this government to violate you of your fundamental rights.
It really is an illusion.
You can comment below.
Does anybody really believe that this government can keep us safe?
Keep us safe both from external threats with the military that uses the proper pronouns, and by proper I mean improper pronouns, and from internal threats like, I don't know, school shooters who leave doors unlocked and police are too big of a pu- they're too big of a of a troop of pussies to do anything about.
You really think that security is real?
So look, if you want to say that freedom is an illusion, and you hear this and I was taught this in college, okay, but you know what?
If the government says that I'm free from their shackles, I'm not enslaved to the government, at least that allows me the illusion of being enslaved to God.
Enslaved to my family, my life.
So if it's an illusion, at least it's an illusion with some degree of choice.
We have no choice over whether the government efficiently does their job to prevent me from being gunned down or not.
Freedom's an illusion.
No, security, safety is an illusion.
That's why you can't enforce it.
Well, and they've never been able to do that.
They've never been able to do it, and our founding fathers knew it, and that's why they said, you have to have the right to do this, and also to make sure that these guys don't get too big of a head and think they can just tell you to do whatever they want, which is what they're doing right now.
And a lot of Republicans, if you're out there and you're a conservative and you're saying that this is, a step needs to be taken, there's a reason that there's been a logjam with gun bills, because the last one didn't really do anything, even though they'll tell you that it did.
We have stats to prove that it didn't.
And if you're going to start to try to make a difference with guns in America, start with criminals.
All you're doing is taking guns out of law-abiding citizens' hands, or at least people that you can just throw under the bus and say, because of a red flag, we're gonna make sure you don't have a gun.
It does nothing!
Well look, that no-fly list worked like a charm.
Just ask Stephen Hayes, the political commentator, whose name I guess sounded exactly like well-known Sharia law enthusiast Stephen Hayes.
No, when you go through TSA at LaGuardia, there's a never forget thing with 9-11 and it's like, you know that was a bad day for you.
Right.
I don't know why you're hanging that up like, remember?
Remember when we failed at our job?
That's why we have jobs now.
We let this guy go through.
I got on a plane accidentally with wire clippers and a bottle of Ballastol.
Yeah, I had a knife on it.
That's a combustible gun cleaner.
The guy, I remember TSA, the guy saw the wire clippers.
He was like, big nail clippers.
I was like, you're just going to put that back?
First he's making fun of you, and second, what?
Big nail clippers.
I think he was touched.
I had an underwear bomb.
It did not function properly.
The guy next to me beat the crap out of me.
That's how they do it in Detroit.
Hey, by the way, if you're watching, I have no idea if this is still on YouTube right now.
This is a live show Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
Eastern.
You can watch on Mug Club, you can watch on Rumble.
If we are not on YouTube and we do not let you know, go watch it on Mug Club.
And we have an extended show here today, of course, an hour most days on Mug Club.
Today's show might go a little bit late.
All right.
Let me bring you to this.
So, I'm trying to think of how to...
There's no good way to approach this.
There's no good way to approach this.
But this does tie into the idea of a gun control bill.
And I'm just going to say this.
Any Republican, not just, I'm not just talking about a vote.
Any Republican, any conservative commentator, I have a rule, you know this, where you don't, no friendly fire.
I typically try and avoid criticizing people who I think are mostly conservative, even though I disagree with them on issues.
Anyone who supports this, you will be in our crosses.
Figuratively, of course.
It's gonna be ugly.
Just so you know.
It's about time now that, and I'm a cultural guy, going to use this platform to make sure, don't care who you are, don't care if you've been on the show, don't care if you're a friend, if you are on board with these red flag laws, if you are on board with what is in this bill, if you even so much as allude or infer anything other than total opposition, we're going to make sure that every single person watching and listening knows your name.
I just want to be clear, the game has changed.
Here's why.
Tuesday there was a testimony on the Uvalde shooting, and this was Colonel, I think, Steve McGraw, the Texas Director of Public Safety.
And there's a story of a man, Uvalde, when people say, oh, a good guy with a gun?
Yeah.
A man whose wife was a teacher was dying.
He tried to get in and save her, and he was actually detained and disarmed.
By the police who are busy not doing their job.
Here's a clip.
Yeah.
Not a just random good guy.
Officer Weiss whose wife called him and said she was she was been shot and she's dying
So certainly those things and what happened to him was he tried to move forward into the hallway his he was he was
detained And they took his gun away from him and escorted him off
the scene Yeah, not a just random good guy an officer
Mm-hmm was detained Well, guess what?
to go and save his wife. Can you imagine getting a phone call from your spouse or from somebody
that you love dearly if you don't have a spouse. Hey I've been shot and I'm dying. I know you're
probably 50 feet away in the hallway. This is what turns law-abiding citizens, no law-abiding
citizen. Well guess what? I'm just gonna, if that man, let's just be honest here because people will
try and say I'm an extremist with this comment and I want everyone in this room right now to answer
honestly because I'm going to step on a limb.
If you're that man and your wife is calling you, or your child is calling you saying, I am dying, and you are on the other side of that door, and you have a gun, and someone is trying to detain you, would you hesitate to shoot that person out of the way?
Would anyone here hesitate?
I'd wing them.
Get them out of the way.
Whatever I have to do to get in there.
Because they just turned you into a criminal.
They just turned you into a criminal by trying to save your wife's life, or at least be able to speak some last words to her.
I'm not saying you should go around shooting cops at all.
What I'm saying is that guy, who was an officer, was now forced to decide between last words with his wife, the love of his life, or Well, you know, you just hear these stupid people at the NRA, the idea of a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun.
That's just a fantasy, a myth.
fourth grade teacher. She was one of the two teachers who was killed. So this brings us
to you don't have you do not have a corner on outrage left.
Right? And this is a claim that they'll often make, but make after these shootings.
Well, you know, you just hear these stupid people, the NRA, the idea of a good guy with a gun
stops a bad guy with a gun.
That's just a fantasy, a myth. You're not trained. Okay, well, let's go through a few
examples in the last three days. But first, today in the New York Times, between 2000
and 2021, mass shootings were stopped 22 times by a bystander shooting the attacker.
22 times!
And that's in a place, guess, we were talking about a lot of places like New York where people don't own guns.
That's where a lot of these mass shootings take place.
And that number would be higher if more people were carrying firearms.
Not to mention the two to three million defensive uses of firearms each year, compared to tens of thousands of homicides, mostly gang-related.
And to hear right now, to shut this down forever, I just had, and Kevin here, a researcher, did some really fantastic work, because we've gone through how many examples there are of good guys with a gun, but these are just a few examples here within the last week or so.
Defensive uses.
Particularly women.
Here's yesterday.
A woman in Natchitoches, if I'm pronouncing this correctly, Natchitoches, Louisiana, shot a man invading her bedroom.
My guess is he wasn't selling Girl Scout cookies.
Not a serious partner.
You son of a bitch.
Former lover.
Part-time lover.
Uh, yesterday, Clearwater, Florida.
A woman shot a man entering her bedroom.
Again, I'm noticing a trend here.
Hey, what about rape culture?
Stop rape culture.
Well, here's a good way.
Here's a good way, and it's not through Believe All Women.
That lends itself to stupid laws, like the Boyfriend Loophole Law.
How about the Allow All... How about instead of Believe... Hashtag Believe All Women, Hashtag Allow All Women to Defend Themselves.
How about that?
Novel idea.
June 19th, Phoenix, Arizona.
Um, a woman, uh, was being assaulted by her boyfriend.
Shot.
Shot him.
Or shot at him.
I don't know if she hit him.
Yeah.
Women aren't always the best at aiming.
That's okay.
Baby steps.
So that's just from the last... Leave your men.
Have you seen the bathroom here?
Come on, guys.
That's just from the last couple of days.
Yeah.
And this happens millions of times per year.
And you just saw a clear example with a man who... I don't know that he would have saved his wife.
Not saying he would have.
Doesn't matter.
It could not be less relevant.
Deserve the chance.
Well, yeah, it's 0% though if you do nothing.
Yeah.
Or stop, so.
Well, and if I'm not mistaken, one of these teachers that died, died on the way to the hospital.
I don't know for sure, but yeah, I read that in some of the reports and so if that is in fact true,
and I don't know that it was this one, it may have been one of the, you know, the only other teacher
that was killed, but if that's true, then time mattered.
Right. Even if he, even if he couldn't do anything to prevent her being shot, obviously she had
been shot at that point, he could have gotten pressure on a wound. He could have gotten a shot. He
could have gotten a shot.
He could have dragged her out and gotten her to a medic.
He could have given her a fighting chance, said last words.
All of these, like, you could not keep me back.
Like, there's nothing that I wouldn't do to get to my wife who's been shot and called.
I can't imagine getting that call.
Yeah.
There would just be nothing you could do.
And you know what?
Whatever it is that he could have done, coulda, woulda, shoulda, would have been more than what the cops did, which was nothing.
Nothing.
Not something.
I know what some of you are thinking.
Right.
Something?
No.
Mm-mm.
Well, they stood in the hallway.
Yeah.
They did, looking... With an aggressive posture.
Not really.
Not really that aggressive.
Not even that.
They were standing like Vanity when learning how to walk.
They were behind a brick wall, like, kind of peering out occasionally to an empty hallway.
Right.
It was really exciting.
Yeah.
Is it lunch yet?
Yeah.
Mmm.
I wonder if the bell will ring and he'll go out of the classroom.
Listening to gunfire.
Yep.
Yeah.
That you clearly wasn't an automatic weapon, meaning they could have gone down there and at least one of them could have got him.
Oh, but it would be dangerous for officers.
Then you shouldn't be an officer.
Draw his fire.
What the hell?
So, all right.
Let's get to the Uvalde.
I say Uvalde because I say it in the right Hispanic way.
Uvalde.
I don't care.
An update here on Uvalde.
And I want, uh, you know, this is one of those, I very rarely use the word disgusted.
That's the easiest thing for pundits to say, you know, these like talking heads.
Disgusting.
This is disgusting.
I honestly was sick to my stomach this morning reading about this.
Is it just me?
Am I into this too deep at this point?
I found myself literally nauseous this morning when reading about this with Uvalde and what the cops did.
Here, what do we have here, this first clip?
What's the next clip?
It's Colonel Steve McGraw, he called the police chief's response, that's right, he called it an abject failure here before Texas Senate special committee hearing.
And then we'll get into, this is important, the claims that were made, and I'll need you to admonish me, and I'll explain to you why, the claims that were made then, that everyone believed, including people in this room, versus what we know now.
Because this, you don't need a conspiracy To see the ugliest side of humanity.
And I mean that.
The ugliest, most cowardly side of humanity.
And yes, that applies to every police officer.
Don't care if you wanted to do the right thing?
You didn't.
Here's a colonel doing it.
There's compelling evidence that the law enforcement response to the attack at Robb Elementary It was an abject failure and antithetical to everything we've learned over the last two decades since the Columbine Massacre.
Three minutes after the subject entered the West Building, there were a sufficient number of armed officers wearing body armor to isolate, distract, and neutralize the subject.
The only thing stopping a hallway of dedicated officers from entering Room 111 and 112 was the on-scene commander.
Who decided to place the lives of officers before the lives of children.
One hour, 14 minutes and 8 seconds.
That's how long the children waited and the teachers waited in rooms 111 to be rescued.
And while they waited, the on-seat commander waited for radio and rifles.
Then he waited for shields.
Then he waited for SWAT.
Lastly, he waited for a key that was never needed.
And that's it.
After murder, one, two, three, four.
Some of them were entirely preventable.
Yeah.
I don't mean through some sort of abstract idea of a law somewhere.
I mean, no, there were people there with the equipment they needed to stop a threat, to stop a murderous psychopath from killing children, and they didn't.
So let's go through exactly what that is.
What we were told back then, right?
We were told that the gunman was already inside a locked classroom.
By the way, really quickly, admonish me.
Everyone here.
Admonish everyone in the studio.
We all believed that.
Remember this?
We all did.
Sounded reasonable.
We all believed that the door was locked.
Yeah.
And I remember even talking about this thing, well maybe we need to make some kind of breaching tool to be standard with police officers as opposed to having to wait for SWAT.
We'll get to that too because I was also wrong about that.
It turned out that tool was a hand.
Yes.
These are technical terms that Dave knows that we need not concern ourselves with.
That's why we have him as our technical door opening advisor.
That's what I do.
They just needed to pull a Harry from Home Alone and go, Or a push.
Right?
Light push.
If only there had been a breeze!
So remember, Chief Arredondo, he claimed that he tried dozens of keys from the hallway.
And here's an actual quote.
Each time I tried a key, I was just praying.
Lock him up with a key and throw it away.
How about that?
Because it's not just... Oh, each time I... That's a lie.
That is a lie.
That's a lie because... Well, how do we know?
Here's what we know.
Now...
It wasn't.
It can't lock from the inside.
The classroom door, was it locked or not locked?
You cannot lock this door from the inside of the classroom.
That's also a problem.
There's nothing a teacher could do to lock the door inside the classroom.
The teacher can come outside the classroom, as the requirement is, to lock the door with a key, only with a key, and this right here, by turning it, you know, and locked into the locked position. And I can
actually have the door of another, this is this came from the west building, one of the doors
right here, and I can demonstrate that if you'd like at this time, Mr. Chairman. So the teacher
could not even lock the classroom door from the inside? That's correct. There's no way to lock the
door from the inside. There's no way for the subject to lock the door from the inside. I just
have to make a point really quickly here, because he's hiding behind the fact that, oh, I was waiting
on keys.
Look at the statement that we put up in the overlay.
77 minutes after this began.
It went on for 1 hour and 14 minutes.
77 minutes they finally were able to unlock the door.
Trying a dozen keys.
What is it, the janitor from Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Yeah.
Takes seconds, by the way.
So what were you doing for the other 75, 76 minutes?
You can't hide behind, the door was locked, even though we know it couldn't possibly be locked from the inside.
How many minutes in an average lifetime?
I don't know, but I hope he spends them behind bars.
Yeah.
So, this brings us to THEN what we were told.
Police didn't hesitate.
Here's Chief Arredondo.
Not a single responding officer ever hesitated, even for a moment, to put themselves at risk to save the children.
Here's what we know now.
Beyond any shadow of a doubt.
Instead of even trying to breach.
No, I'm not saying unsuccessfully breach.
Right, right, right, right.
Instead of even attempting to breach.
19 officers waited in the hallway with an unlocked door.
Waiting at the command of Chief Arradondo.
And this is the problem.
When weak—you know, Jordan Peterson has said this, and we've all talked about it—when weak people get into positions of power, that's a weak man, Chief Arradondo.
And unfortunately, because you have a chain of command, people have to follow a weak man.
Unbelievable.
By the way, also, even if the door had been locked—okay, here's another thing that we know—now, even if the door had been locked, they actually had—you can hit the no—they had a Halligan crowbar.
With them to break it open.
So they didn't have that.
So we were told they didn't have the tool.
They didn't have the tool.
They didn't need the tool.
They just needed to jiggle the handle.
Yeah.
By the way, if they were like, oh, we could have been shot through the door.
Did you see the guys with the big clear plasticky things?
Yeah.
Those are called ballistic shields.
You know what they do?
Right.
They stop or at least help you defend yourself against somebody shooting at you.
Right.
Right?
You could have walked.
You know who didn't have the ballistic shields?
Kids.
Teachers.
You know who also didn't have the ballistic shield?
The man they disarmed and detained who was trying to go in and save his wife.
This is also... Don't underestimate this.
Let me ask you something really quickly.
Because people talk about this with guns.
Oh, a good guy with a gun?
You're saying you're more effective than a cop?
Yes.
Let me explain to you why.
Do you know what your kid needs better than you?
Better than a cop?
Sorry.
Do you know what your kid needs better than a cop?
Do you know what your kid needs better than a teacher?
Hey!
Would you say that you're more willing to go to extremes to save your child's life?
Then the local crossing guard.
Why aren't we accounting for that?
It's not just a good guy with a gun.
How about a motivated person with a gun?
Not motivated by a pension, a Cadillac pension with benefits, so long as they make sure to stay away from the calamities of the world that they're paid to serve and protect.
Why don't we discount that?
Hey, maybe, you know what?
Maybe I'm not great with a gun, but I'm willing to put myself in the line of fire to save my kids.
You're not!
Yeah.
What about this?
How about we put the 19 parents in that hallway whose kids were in that classroom, and let's see if they waited from 3 minutes to an hour and 14 minutes to go in unarmed.
Let's just not even give the parents guns.
Every one of them would have gone into that room to stop this with no weapons at all.
So we're trying to.
Yeah.
No, but the good thing is the cops are doing their job stopping them.
Oh yeah, well, I mean, that was the important part.
Yeah.
By doing nothing.
Yeah, by doing nothing.
Guarantee you, I would bet my life on it, pick the parents of the 19 kids, meaning I'm assuming that some of them have never shot a gun in their life.
Ever.
Give those 19 parents guns, put them in the halls, that shooter gets stopped.
Yeah?
That shooter gets stopped.
Well, what makes me think that?
I think they probably would have tried to open the door.
I think they would have been willing to enter the door, I think quite a few of them would have been taken out, and eventually one of them would have gone to the shooter.
But you know what?
I like the odds better.
And this is the problem with, you know I've always said this, we all have a worldview.
And if your worldview includes the belief that human beings are inherently flawed, are inherently sinful, are inherently looking out for their own best interests, then you have to be a conservative because the last thing you want to do is centralize the power of those people.
At least with a free enterprise system, it's mitigated.
If someone's corrupt over here, well, guess what?
You don't have to buy their product or service.
There's at least some competition.
The problem is when it's centralized government and they have a monopoly.
Like, for example, Security.
For example, the police force.
I'm not saying that we go out and make it a private police force and have mercenaries.
That's not what I'm saying.
But what I am saying is, hey, we see when there's corruption, when there's weakness, and it's centralized.
There's no way to safeguard against it.
The intruders in your house!
The intruders in your house!
The police were there!
I would actually argue they're an accessory to murder in stopping the father and the mothers who tried to go in and save those kids.
Again, am I in this too deep?
Is it just me?
Does that sound too extreme?
I think that the cop who stopped the man who was going in to save his wife with a firearm is bordering on accessory to murder.
I agree, actually.
And you know what?
No one wants to acknowledge what the problem is.
Hey, we're all the people talking about rooting out corruption.
No, not defund the police.
I'm not saying defund the police.
How about we make police accountable?
Oh, wait a second, wait a second.
Now we're dealing with unions.
Well, defunding police sure isn't helping.
Right.
I mean, you have people leaving the force early, you have good cops that don't want to do it, you have good people that don't want to do it, and you end up with this.
There's going to be more of this, though, with lower wages.
Yeah.
I mean, this is what's going to happen.
Make it performance-based.
And by performance-based, I don't mean civilian interactions.
This is a big dirty secret, too, that no one wants to talk about with police.
Some of these municipalities are based on civilian interactions.
You're actually considered a better cop if you give out eight speeding tickets in a night than if you stop one rapist.
Right.
So how about we change this with the police?
Common ground?
Let's start with this.
We don't need to defund anything.
Let's just keep the money where it is.
Let's just say we don't touch the money right now.
Yeah.
Make it performance-based.
Get rid of the unions.
And you're not a tax collector for the state.
You're there to serve and protect.
Yeah, it's a point system.
You know, tickets are maybe one point.
Stopping a rape is maybe a hundred.
Yeah.
You get an office party.
There you go.
Maybe a cake.
Stop a shooting, you get some paid leave.
There you go.
Not because you beat some old lady with a crowbar accidentally because she was carrying a firearm and you get paid leave as your punishment.
We do have a problem with the police here in this country.
Not all police, but look, just like I talked yesterday about women, white suburban women who are now going, I can't believe the formula shortage, I can't believe it, men competing in women's sports.
We called out white suburban women yesterday.
I know, it was a little hard on you.
Rightfully so.
You need to clean ranks.
Guess what?
Cops?
You have to do it too.
You have to do it now.
Any cop who doesn't come out now and say, this is disgusting, and we need reform of the police to make sure that this does not happen, you're part of the problem.
This is one of the few areas where you could actually argue that science equates to actual violence.
Silence, when you look at it, silence from all those officers who didn't say, hey, hey, maybe we should go in.
People died.
And you know what?
This sucks.
I know.
I hate to say it.
I know that some of these cops are dealing with guilt.
Believe me, it's not lost on me.
You're dealing with guilt.
I pray that we don't.
I really do pray that we don't see these officers end up committing suicide, which is not an altogether uncommon likelihood after scenarios like this.
I know they're dealing with trauma and stress, but you don't get to get off the hook, man.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Kids died that didn't have to because you didn't do the one job you're assigned to do.
It's not to create seatbelt laws.
It's not to enforce helmet laws.
That's not what you're there to do.
You're there to protect the lives of the most, particularly the most helpless among us, and protect our constitutional rights.
So if you're not going to protect, if the police aren't going to protect the most vulnerable among us, at least allow us to do it.
And instead we have a bill coming down the pike that says less of that.
Less of that, more centralized power to the cops.
Oh, and to the military, by the way, which includes psychopaths who would rather discuss myriad gender pronouns than their actual job.
Hey, this really comes down to maybe that it could be, let's just, let's just redefine job roles.
We do that here in this, uh, yeah.
If I just came onto this show today and you just heard the themes on it and I just, you said what he's doing, but I don't feel like doing my job today.
It's just I don't feel like doing it.
But you have one job.
Yeah, but I don't want to though.
I don't want to do it.
So let's define job roles.
Let's define job roles for teachers.
Let's define job roles for police officers.
How about the military?
I think your primary job as a police officer is to protect.
And by protect, what does that mean?
Protect citizens.
And by protecting the citizens, you protect their God-given constitutional rights.
And to serve.
Hey, doesn't that go back to some Christian principle?
Serving?
People who serve the best among us?
Something like that.
I don't know.
I believe it says it somewhere in the back.
Hey, military.
Your job is to kill and break shit.
Your job is to make... Your job is not... This is the thing.
Maternity suits.
I'm sorry.
Maternity suits for pregnant female pilots.
Gender pronouns.
Your job in the military is not to create a comfortable space for a diversity inclusion seminar.
Your job is to make the other guy's space, pardon me, as uncomfortable as fucking possible.
Well, and get used to extreme discomfort.
Yes.
From what I've heard from everybody that's ever served.
I have an idea right now.
Yes.
If you raise your hand and you say, I am so glad we're doing the pronouns thing, or thankfully I can have somebody, immediately you are removed from the service.
We do not require your services any longer.
If you're putting your tag in the email of my pronouns, if you introduce yourself, hi, I'm Gerald, he, Yeah.
Nobody's going into combat if that's their thing.
Sorry.
You know what you should be called?
Whatever your sergeant feels like calling you that day.
And you better pray it's not an embarrassing nickname that sticks.
And you better snap too when he calls you that.
Alright?
That's how this works.
I'm sorry.
This is not the military that we need.
Do you know what nickname sticks?
This is like a common thing in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Whichever one you hate the most.
Oh yeah.
The one you've pushed back on the most.
Nobody gets T-Bone.
Right.
Nobody gets T-Bone.
Nobody gets T-Bone.
You look like Coco the Grinch.
T-Bone!
Name that reference!
T-Bone!
In comment below.
Speaking of disgusting.
Yes.
Uncomfortable.
Yes.
Unsightly.
Uncomfortable.
Yes.
Turns out that there's a study now, it was published in the Journal of Clinical and Translational Resource and Technology.
I don't know.
Insight?
Is that the name?
Do I have that right?
It sounds right.
It sounds really stupid though.
This is true.
Yes.
This is science.
This is 100% true.
Trust the science.
Follow it.
Maybe not this science.
Follow your nose.
Wear a mask too.
Don't do the Cocoa Puffs.
Fruit Loops?
Poopy Crisp.
Researchers have found, in layman's terms, basically, mammals can potentially breathe through their buttholes.
It's science.
And I didn't believe it.
Wow.
Turns out, I think, well, I don't know.
I still don't believe it, so interested to find out more.
We now go to our on-the-ground correspondent, Thomas Finnegan.
Hey!
Hi Stephen.
Hey, Thomas.
Hi.
You may have seen in recent news regarding anal breathing.
Yes, what is it?
Anal breathing.
Reptiles and amphibians, they have the ability to breathe underwater through their cloaca, which acts both as their anus and their...
They're buh buh buh buh. They're in their pussy. Scientists have done experiments with mammals by putting them under
water and oxygenating them through the anus with a 61% increase survival rate.
That just sounds like drowning. That's just 61% longer of drowning. What are you doing right now?
Allow me to demonstrate. I'm, uh, no. Is this... Finnegan!
Thomas, you cannot breathe through your ass, Finnegan.
We should let him try. Finnegan, can he hear me? Does he have a mic?
yeah Uh, he can't hear you.
Well, valiant effort.
Well, he'll bounce back.
He always does.
Yeah.
He just, the butt needs to be higher out of the water.
I think so.
Yeah.
Just not arced correctly.
Somebody needs to give him ass to ass.
Yeah.
I mean, It's science.
I mean, what, is that not how you save someone?
I think that's how you save someone.
Yeah, he was not part of the 61%.
That's almost like when you use one of those toilet seats, it has like the soft cover.
That's what it feels like.
So when you see a beautiful girl choking in a restaurant, you're like, I'll save her.
I mean, he was kind of waterboarding himself with his ass.
Yeah, it's true.
It was ri- well he was ri- water. He was more water hoarding.
Hey, by the way, Dave's gonna be in Columbus, Ohio July 15th and 16th, uh, at-
And I'm gonna be in, is it Spokane Comedy Club?
Yeah, Spokane.
We added a show on Thursday.
I think it should be Spokane.
But it's Spokane.
But Spokane sounds way cooler.
Yeah, uh, what are we gonna, what are we playing?
Oh, oh, oh, okay, there's no way we can play this on, because I know what we're doing today.
So, uh, YouTube Rumble, thank you very much, but YouTube, we're about to go play Hipster Hobo for Mug Club only.
And you guys, look, share this show if you're watching here on YouTube right now.
I know I was a little, little, little pissed off today, but hopefully we still made it work for you.
Sometimes I really need to get, I need to make sure that every day I come in I'm, you know, even-tempered.
Yeah.
Angry.
I prefer you.
Ladies, call me Ed Norton because I will be your mediocre Hulk.
▲
Export Selection