All Episodes
Previous Next
June 20, 2022 - Louder with Crowder
01:19:34
Captain Asshat Chris Evans Called Americans WHAT? Lightyear FAILED | Louder with Crowder
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Thanks for all the things you can't tell.
No matter where my bed, ooh, it's really good. You should know.
No matter where my bed, ooh, it's really good. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
No matter where my bed, ooh, it's really good. You should know.
And now for the adventures of the White Privilege Boy.
Oh, boy.
you you
Now, okay, Timmy, Bobby, and Johnny, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
I need you to put your guns down.
Can't I just keep my gun on me trained on you for just a little longer?
Now, boys, you know I'm not supposed to let you do that.
All right, just make sure it's unloaded.
Okay now, okay now, at least turn off that tack light.
You're blinding my eyes.
What am I going to do with you, you little rapscallions?
Ow!
Oh, those boys.
What pickle will they find themselves in next?
Stay tuned for next week's installment of Adventures of the White Privilege Boys.
DramaStud.com This fall, six cities prepare for two rebels with a cause.
The White Privilege Boys.
Phoenix.
Houston.
Charleston.
Nashville.
New York.
Baltimore.
The Rebels With a Cause Comedy Tour.
Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com slash tour Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com
Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com Tickets on sale now at louderwithcrowder.com
Ahoy!
I hope everyone's well today.
Welcome to Louder with Crowder with Dave.
Also, I would like to welcome some of the other members that will be joining me today.
Gerald A.
How are you, sir?
Ahoy, how about you?
I am doing well.
Was that nutmeg?
Give me that nutmeg.
Nutmeg, yes.
Nutmeg flavored tea.
Nutmeg flavored tea.
Tea! Oh!
It's June tea.
Nth.
Alright.
Starting strong today.
Yes, that's what we're doing.
We're opening it up big.
We got, of course, we got Tocanown.
Ahoy there.
How are you?
Good.
Casey Kasem.
Good morning.
There you go.
How are you?
We'll go Kasem.
Yeah, I like that one.
Tim the Toolman.
Morning.
Good morning.
And of course, Quarterback Garrett.
Welcome to the show.
Yo!
Hey, what's up?
How you doing?
Dude, I'm doing good.
Thanks for having me back on.
Thank you for coming in.
No problem.
That's what I like to say.
I love you, bro.
I love you, brother.
And Lay in the Brain, how are you doing today?
I'm good, but that high energy introduction, I don't think I can really match it quite yet, so I'm going to try to get in that level pretty soon.
Get up there.
A lot of pressure sitting next to you.
Get on up!
To the east side.
We are in a deluxe apartment.
In the sky.
That's right.
And Crowd Daddy had to sit out today, but we miss him, we love him.
And I want to tell you guys, please check us out on our tour, Rebels With a Cause.
You can check us out at louderwithcrowder.com slash tour.
Go ahead and check out all the dates there.
And you can catch me July 9th in Lapeer, Michigan.
At Flanagan's Pub.
Please come out.
Enjoy that show.
Oh, Flanagan.
You will enjoy it.
Oh, Flanagan.
Oh, Mr. Flanagan.
We're gonna play bagpipes.
It'll be a good Irish funeral.
We'll be drunk.
And we'll tell jokes.
Yes, we'll have, it'll be fun.
Oh, cirrhosis.
Not a surprise.
Alcohol poisoning.
Who would have thought?
Never saw it coming.
Not of an Irish.
And then let's talk about question of the day.
What's the worst Father's Day you've ever received or given?
Gifts can be tricky.
What did I say, gift?
Well, you didn't.
What did I say?
Just the worst Father's Day you've ever been given, which actually may be even funnier.
Yeah, that's true.
Maybe it's just Maury.
That's not mine!
99.999 Yeah, just Maury Povich
where they're like, I love when it's like you're not the father and the dude's doing somersaults
and kickflips And the kid's crying in the front row
Oh that's the best, when the kid's like 8 and understands how happy
the guy is not to be his father It's like, I've been raising him
for 8 years, just leave Now he's been abandoned twice.
Thanks Maury.
Thanks for having me.
Montel, good guy.
Oh Montel, great.
I like Jordan more.
Or Jerry.
Jerry!
Jerry!
Jerry invented it.
He did.
He's the problem.
He's the OG.
Patient Zero.
Well, he's the one who wrote a check to a prostitute when he was mayor of Cincinnati.
That's right.
He's never had cash.
And then he was like, well, he'll just be a scumbag TV host.
And he was right!
And that's why I'm a fan.
I always used to watch Baywatch and Jerry After School.
Back to back.
That was a good idea.
Yeah it was.
And you turned out perfect.
Just fine.
Look at you now.
I shouldn't do that.
That's been clipped.
All right.
Can we cut that slide?
Cut that?
No?
Well I got some good... It will be cut and used against me.
A random TikToker has finally admitted to the purpose of neopronouns.
Hmm, exciting.
So neopronouns are any set of pronouns that aren't officially recognized in the language that you use.
Someone might use neopronouns because This is from the site NoFans.
might give them dysphoria or using Neo's could give someone gender euphoria.
I use them because they give me euphoria because I really enjoy confusing people
with my gender identity which sounds kind of weird but it gives me euphoria
so whatever.
I really like using they, them and fae, fair in conversation, like when I'm talking.
And I really like using BonBonSelf, like if I'm texting someone or I guess just on the internet.
Um, that's the way I like using them.
So an example of fair pronouns could be, I really like the jacket today.
It's my favorite color.
They like the color purple.
An example of Bon Jovi self-pronouns could be, Bon showed up on my For You page today.
Bon really likes using Neo pronouns.
So she admits they're nonsense.
Ah, yeah, absolutely.
She's just a jerk.
Did she say bon-bon self?
Bon-bon or bun-bun?
Was it bon-bon?
I think she's making it up.
She doesn't even know.
She doesn't know.
She likes confusing people.
She likes pissing people off.
Good luck in life.
Well, that's what she said, therefore, is to confuse you.
And it's like, right, that was the agenda.
Yeah, and it gives me euphoria.
Yeah, that's really just SSRIs.
That's not euphoria.
Yeah, that's not.
STIs?
SSRIs?
I'm sure she has both.
I'm sure she's on lithium and has STIs.
I don't know.
I like confusing people and myself.
I just, I do this with my hands.
She didn't blink one time in the whole video.
I'm distracting you.
No?
Oh no.
Yeah, she probably has to remind herself to wet her eyes every half hour.
Dry eyes.
Why do you have dry eyes?
I'm stuffed with pills.
And I can't blink.
Help me.
Oh, you've ruined blue hair.
Remember when it was cool in SLC Punk?
A little bit.
It was awesome back in the day.
I remember thinking it was cool.
It's like, oh man, I want to get... It got repurposed.
Get some hair color.
Reappropriated.
Yeah, I'm bringing it back.
I'm bringing my mohawk back, I'm dying blue, and I'm going full LPGA.
Well, Dave, it was nice to have worked with you.
I mean, that look is in right now.
It is.
It's hot.
No, it's not.
It is.
It is.
You can't deny it.
That's what all the kids are doing.
I can't deny it.
You can't deny it.
I'm a straight rider.
You don't want to.
I can't say other words.
No.
I know.
It'll be thrown off of YouTube because it's so good.
Moral.
Not on Juneteenth.
No, not on Juneteenth.
Well, it's not Juneteenth, technically.
It's the day that Juneteenth is observed for a federal holiday.
Juneteenth is a state of mind.
Yes.
Oh, wow.
Lane knows the struggle.
Right.
Well, now he's ginger.
I'm sitting next to someone that is almost fully black.
I almost feel the struggle.
Yeah.
Every day I think about it.
An osmosis struggle.
Are you excited that they finally... I'm so happy to... What day was it?
Was it today?
It was yesterday.
Today's observed.
He celebrated for six hours yesterday because that's all he's allowed.
That and Kwanzaa.
Favorite holidays that were made up.
Exactly.
Today's the day that white people acknowledge that yesterday happened.
And history.
Did you see Bill Nye, his tweet?
No.
America was built on the backs of slavery.
And it was like, yeah, and like, you know, settlers and a bunch of other people as well.
Yeah.
It was mostly killing natives.
Come on, be specific.
Thank you, Bill.
Can you just do science experiments for kids now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks.
And talk about butt stuff, like your song.
That was great.
Oh, that was his tweet?
Oh, he dressed up.
He can be brilliant or fashionable.
You can't be both, Dave.
No, that's true.
He can't be brilliant.
Please don't give that to him.
Apparently you can do it both halfway.
He's TV science.
Yeah, he's TV science.
I could be TV science.
Just put a prompter in front of me and I'll pretend like I know what I'm talking about.
I'm doing it right now.
So, former Vice President Biden decided to take a two-wheeler out for a ride on Saturday.
It didn't go well.
Yay, Mr. President!
Oh, no!
Oh Oh
Sure left the training wheels on.
Come on, man.
We've all fallen off of bikes before, you know?
It happens.
I was 12.
He's like 108 years old.
Come on, man.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, that's true.
It's not like we should judge someone's capacity to do their job on their ability to ride a bike.
Look at what Fox News saw on Saturday at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
This is Joe Biden out there on a vigorous bike ride.
Vigorous.
Vigorous.
Not wearing a helmet, but definitely wearing a mask, by the way.
Oh my God.
Fox's narrative and Talk Radio's narrative for months has been that Joe Biden is falling apart.
Pizza, pizza.
You just heard Ben Shapiro say it.
Falling apart.
And there he is riding a bike, out for a bike ride, and Fox of all networks is the one that showed it happened.
I stand corrected.
Time to brush off the old 25th Amendment.
Yes.
I love that he was wearing a mask out in the great outdoors.
Well, it's important.
It's as important as Brian Stelter is to news.
How many times has he flipped a bike because he heard an ice cream truck?
And pulled a hard left.
It's like, hold on, get my foot out of this thing.
Yeah, just ran out the door and just tripped over his own croc, smashed his face.
Oh, I wanted an eclair.
I got hung up with my purse.
I gotta admit, when I first saw this clip, I was like, oh, okay, well, I've actually almost fallen over doing the exact same thing.
So if you're riding, if you're a cyclist and you're riding and you clip your feet in, sometimes you try to unclip and it doesn't come out.
And I was like, wait, but he's not clipped in.
No, he was riding a huffy.
Yeah, he had the simplest, like, stick your foot, your toes in here and that'll keep your toes from coming out.
All I had to do was boop.
Well, why are they having him do this?
He's had trouble climbing, you know, stairs.
Just walking is difficult for him.
Right.
You shouldn't have him doing anything.
Well, you notice that he was wearing a helmet this time.
The Secret Service is like, we cannot take any more chances, sir.
You should have him in an airport.
Every time he gets into Air Force One, just put a helmet on him.
When his PR person rolled out his plan for the day, did this not occur to them?
Literally rolled out, because it's a bike.
Yeah.
That's what- yeah.
Sorry.
Go on.
LOL.
Pfft.
Hahahahaha.
LOL.
Was there not- Was this not the obvious end to the day?
All paths lead to Joe Biden falling off the bike.
They should plan around that.
This is a red flag.
Let's worry about him being on a bike with no training wheels on.
He can't walk, man.
Biden says he's okay, though.
He didn't exactly say he's okay.
It was more like a weird game of charades.
Mr. President, how are you feeling?
How are you feeling, sir?
Step, step, step.
Good!
There you go.
I think he just pooped himself.
He remembers that move from the Playboy Club in the 60s.
Throw him back up.
Listen, um, based on that, are we sure he didn't suffer any, like, you know, brain damage or something like that during that fall?
Well, there was, uh, brain bleeding, a little bit of a seizure, um, and he's having trouble talking.
So no, he's fine.
Exactly the same.
Totally normal then.
Nothing changed.
Okay.
All right.
Baseline for him.
Can't tell.
No, it's totally good.
Yeah, I think I'm with you.
I don't know why anybody would pull out, like, we should have him ride a bike.
You know, then we'll have him juggle, maybe do magic.
And then afterwards he'll hop a couple of times to let the media know that he's spry.
Super dexterous.
Someone in that administration is trying to kill him.
I'm thinking the same thing.
That's the vice president.
On the itinerary, like, you know, pogo stick.
Let's do some pogo stick next time.
Yeah, let's juggle flaming darts.
You can do all this.
Let's play jarts.
Watch him lawn dart.
Oh my gosh.
Watch him kill everyone.
Mr. Vice President, you ever tried to tame a cobra?
Wow, that's a great idea.
I think I can do it.
Give me the shades.
Alright, so I wear a top hat and I have a stool and there's a line.
I can do that.
Yeah, yeah.
No problem.
Me and my friend Praheed, we used to do that in Mumbai.
Yeah.
We spent time there.
Praheed.
I spent more time with Indians than any president that ever existed.
That's true.
Nazi fags.
Oh boy.
Now, I'm sure you guys all saw the new Buzz Lightyear movie.
Hell no.
No.
Yeah, I refuse.
I totally missed that one.
Oh, I guess I also didn't.
But it debuted this weekend and it was a giant, big, stinking flop.
Neither did anybody else.
Well, that's odd.
That's so weird when you take the star out.
Yeah.
The film grossed $51 million, which was far behind its projections, you know, of $70 million.
Lowest Pixar debut of all time, right behind Cars 3.
Pixar's usually pretty good about releasing popular films.
It's kind of the general idea that Disney sucks and people are starting to figure that out.
They're ruining everything.
I always thought the lowest Pixar movie was Schindler's List 2.
Yeah.
I like the boogaloo.
Shouldn't have made that one a funny one.
My favorite one.
No.
It was a boogaloo though.
There was a lot of dancing in it.
A lot.
It was very disco.
Yeah, and you're like, they don't look healthy enough to dance, but they get down.
They get down, man.
Without cardboard energy.
You gotta fight against the power.
Yeah, amen.
With dance.
I hate boxing.
That's how they get their country back.
The film finished just behind Jurassic World, which is also horrible.
Which is a horrible movie.
Imagine you're Pixar.
Disney-Pixar, right?
Right.
And you finish behind a movie that's the third movie in a bad trilogy.
In its second weekend.
In its second weekend.
Right.
Wow.
Well, why do you keep making it?
You're Disney.
You're like, you know, we need to keep being woke and going in the completely wrong direction.
What you've never done, you've never been moral before.
Why are you doing it now?
I don't know.
I really do think it's audiences figuring it out.
Their marketing strategy of doing this whole LGBT thing and saying, screw you, literally the week it opens with Chris Evans saying they're all dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs.
Anybody that thinks differently than me, they're all going to die off.
That's great marketing.
Ironic.
Oh, we're going to get to that actually.
That's called foreshadowing.
That is foreshadowing indeed.
It's a literary framing.
It also barely beat Top Gun, which is in its third week at the box office.
And it's still killing it.
It's above this.
It's good that you brought that up.
Experts are scratching their heads trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
But it definitely wasn't because of this.
Whenever you do something about representation or diversity or whatever, you always push back.
I mean, how would you counter that, I suppose?
Well, I mean, the real truth is those people are idiots.
I mean, I think throughout history you can see every time there's been social advancement as the wake up.
The American story, the human story, is one of constant social awakening and growth.
And that's what makes us good.
And when that happens, there's always going to be people who are afraid.
I don't know what his shirt is, but it makes me angry.
Is he doing a voice?
Sounds like he's doing a voice.
And trying to hold on to what was before.
But those people die off like dinosaurs.
And so, you know, I think the goal is to pay them no mind.
March forward and embrace the growth that makes us human.
I would say those people just like with Buzz, like...
You know, refurbish your idea of tradition.
You know, understand that it's now.
It's to infinity and beyond.
It's time to move forward.
It's time to accept and look in the mirror.
Did she just quote the movie?
Enjoy all the faces that have always been there.
You know what I mean?
They've always been a part of the picture.
Well, infinity and beyond was always about toys scissoring.
So that's also what this is about.
This is what it looks like.
This is what it's always been.
Yeah, to infinity and beyond.
Yeah, Juneteenth!
She repeated herself!
Would anybody else like some Juneteenth ice cream?
Does she know what infinity means?
There is no beyond!
It's a joke!
It's a stupid lie to the movie that's ironic!
That's a great line.
Don't trash the line.
I feel like we're dying on a weird hill here.
I just think it's funny that she's like, yeah, Infinity Beyond, and then she repeats it.
That's what she's doing to stand up for this?
I just don't want the mega-irony to be lost, that he said, they'll go the way of the dinosaurs, but they lost to Jurassic World.
That is very true.
I went to college.
All the dead dinosaurs were brought back to life and they're beating you.
They're brought back to life for the sixth time and they beat you on their second week.
Sorry, Chris.
Maybe go back to being Captain America.
Well, he already gave that up.
Well, you can't.
It's already black.
Which is fine.
I would rather have it be anybody.
Anybody at all.
I would just like it to be somebody who has American values.
How about that?
That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
In Hollywood?
Yeah, well, no, playing somebody that has American values.
Let's just make Captain America pretend to be somebody that has American values.
I don't think we can do that.
No?
That's too hard for them, they can't act anymore.
Truth, justice, and the American way?
They're not allowed to, or direct.
Well, it used to be that.
No, I know, that's what I'm saying.
Well, thank you.
That's a different superhero.
Yeah, I was going in a different direction.
Just watch Superman 4, you're gonna love it.
Alright.
All of the surrounding controversy of the lesbian relationship depicted in the film.
As Bloomberg...ugh, just read it, Gerald.
As Bloomberg so eloquently puts it.
Gosh, I have the worst dry mouth from... That happens.
Don't worry, the film also faced bans abroad and ire from conservative political figures in the U.S.
who say the movie's fictional space inhabitants and a same-sex couple couldn't naturally produce children that the portrayal violates their religious beliefs.
Yeah, so it's basically saying two chicks couldn't have kids.
I've heard that that is absolutely 100% true.
It's science.
It was also a needless part of the movie.
That was the thing.
Like, it didn't need to be in the movie.
That's what most people were commenting on.
Like, you wedged something in there for an agenda and that was it.
You should have just taken it out and it would have been fine.
There's no relationships in any of the other Toy Story movies.
No!
Because they're toys.
Yeah.
Well, and then they're also a military space unit.
Why would there be relationships?
Like, we're...
We're flying into space, fighting monsters and stuff, like, what's the point?
There's some pretty graphic stuff with Slinky Dog in the first movie, actually, if you remember.
It's in the post-credits.
Yeah, when they bring in Mr. Potato Head and Mrs. Potato Head, which is now one thing.
She was shoving stuff up his butt.
Yeah.
I do remember that scene.
Totally, it was just different parts.
Parts he didn't need anymore.
Just arms and ears and stuff.
Hands.
Eventually it's just a potato with every piece jammed.
It's a big Cheeto she shoves up there.
It still looks more believable than other toys.
Woody's head completely suffocated.
It's just Woody's head completely suffocated.
But he enjoys it.
He's like, this is great.
Oh my...
Isn't Mr. and Miss... Isn't there now just a... It's not Mr. and Miss, it's just Potato Head?
Yeah, you're not allowed to have a Mr. and Miss.
What world do we live in, man?
You can't even have Mr. Potato Head.
I feel like something happened and we did end up in the bizarro universe that... It's CERN.
It wasn't supposed to be real.
It's CERN.
It's whenever they collided those particles together.
Yeah.
Blew us into this retarded timeline.
Just this absurd...
Oh, am I right?
I guessed this.
Look, Mr. Potato Head was always that way.
It was a potato!
By the way, this was marketing genius.
We'll sell you two different Mr. Potato Head and Mrs. Potato Head, and all the difference is the parts.
It's a mustache.
The potato's the same.
Mustache is the difference.
Mrs. Potato Head did have a thang on her, if we're gonna be honest.
Oh, a booty?
Oh, for sure, because that's also where you would store all the parts.
You could just store more parts.
She was packing a little heat.
How much junk can you fit in that trunk?
Yeah, except now Mr. Potato Head's is much bigger.
There's already stuff in there.
You're like, what is this?
Is this room for a vibrator?
Pfft.
Ow!
Kid-friendly.
Another factor that probably didn't help this film was the decision to not cast, oh, what's
Tim Allen, that's right.
You mean Buzz?
Yeah, Buzz Lightyear.
Yeah, you know, the guy who played him, what, for the last 27... How long has it been?
25 years.
Is it 25 years?
25 years.
Yeah, former Everybody Loves Raymond star Patricia Heaton tweeted, saw this trailer for Buzz Lightyear and all I can say is Disney-Pixar made a huge mistake in not casting Tim Allen.
Tim Allen in the role that he originated.
The role that he owns.
Tim is Buzz.
Why would they completely castrate this iconic, beloved character?
I agree!
Yeah.
They replaced Tim Allen, which is a little too, you know, conservative for Disney.
They replaced him with Chris Evans, which Chris Evans is basically a communist at this point.
If you've ever followed any of the things he's said.
No, no, no, no.
He's a Christian communist.
Oh, sure.
I totally believe that.
Yeah.
And I'll name drop.
I've worked with Tim Allen.
I follow him.
But near him I follow him. Yeah, I Part of Tim Allen's career. Did you yeah, I follow earlier.
I just follow him behind him when he's home So I get pulled over because he's drunk driving
But I I've I opened for him a couple times and And uh, Rose-
He built ABC, let's be honest.
World Improvement, saved that network, brought in... He built ABC?
Get it?
You're on today.
I know.
I'm glad you're catching them.
I got you.
But he- ABC Disney.
Yeah.
And then they fired him, of course, because he had a difference of opinion.
Yeah.
And then, you know, now they're getting rid of him from his actual- and what I hate, Chris Evans not even doing a Buzz Lightyear voice.
He's being Chris Evans in it.
You're not even trying to be the Buzz Lightyear character.
I hate this.
I guess I'd have to watch the movie to even know, but there's no way.
I was like, I saw Lightyear, no way I'm going to go back to that.
They're going to ruin it.
Well, the real problem is like, okay, let's say there's two women kissing in it.
Fine.
Why does it have to be the promo of your film?
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work when you do that.
It's unnecessary.
The Thor movie's coming out, right?
Thor 11 Thunder, and that's supposed to also have like a lesbian character, I think King Valkyrie or whatever, which is dumb.
Why is her name King whenever there's Queens?
She's supposed to have like a love interest in that and they used to use that as like a promo in like 2020 when the movie was going to come out but then it's been pushed and pushed and pushed and now the audiences don't receive that very well obviously Lightyear as an example so they've stopped using that as like a marketing pull so once they've come back You don't hear that anymore.
You don't hear, oh, there's a gay representation in this film.
It's just like, come to our superhero movie, please, God, because we are crashing and burning every time we put out a movie, unless it's Spider-Man.
And we're ruining these things.
And the investment.
King Valkyrie, there you go.
That's her?
Well.
She might as well be driving a Subaru.
Look at that one.
They.
It's they.
They.
Are you serious?
That's they.
Who knows?
I have no idea.
I don't care.
I'm trying to be safe.
Well, let's go back to purple lady from the beginning and she'll tell us.
Just to piss us off.
All right.
Anyway, there was some speculation Alan's conservative values were to blame.
Oh, shit.
Anyway, however, Disney will be working with Alan on a new Santa Claus project.
Oh, good.
Releasing this fall.
Yeah.
You know it's not it's not it's not all good news though.
Because apparently Alan Santa Claus falls off the roof and is replaced by a transgender little person.
Oh.
Oh man.
What is going on?
Beautiful and brave.
Top notch.
Right in time.
She's pretty good.
She gains a little bit of weight and just dies.
Got to show the foot.
I hurt so bad.
It's just as in a wheelchair like Verne Troyer in the whole movie.
Just drinking herself to death on a little rascal scooter.
Rudolph commits suicide.
It's a really sad tale.
Yeah, it's sad.
So sad.
It's modernized.
Can't make today's deliveries.
Just can't pick anything up because it's bones hurt.
Yeah.
He had identified as a light bulb his whole life and nobody ever saw him.
Every gift on the list is just puberty blockers.
It's really easy for the elves to make.
It's like sprinkling them like candy.
It's just Pfizer is the North Pole.
Buy one, get one gender reassignment surgery coupons.
To all the good boys in... Oh boy, I can't even share that.
I already misgendered.
It's about time we finally just say, we don't need this in kids movies.
Don't get to stay home this year though But it looks like Americans are finally using their wallets
to push back against the woke agenda, and I think that's good
Yeah, you know it's like it's about time. We finally just say we don't
Need this in kids movies. We don't need anything in kids movies except for you know kids comedy. Yeah, exactly well
I think having Top Gun Maverick out there. Just having a pure like movie. That's fun
That doesn't paint America as being horrible does incredibly well is the highest grossing movie
I think ever for Tom Cruise now will probably surpass a billion dollars
That's fantastic, and you see right after it more woke stuff, and it's not just us complaining
It's people's pocketbooks saying, we don't want to pay for it.
We're done.
We are absolutely done.
And by the way, Disney, Garrett Quarterblack and I were talking about this before the show, like they just, they take stuff and they ruin every single piece of it.
Right?
Like with all the Star Wars stuff that they're doing with, uh, you know, not, they didn't do Halo obviously, but this same kind of mentality of let's do something really cool, like an origin story for Buzz Lightyear.
That's kind of a stretch for me in the first place, and then you ruin it by getting rid of Tim Allen, and then you throw stuff in that doesn't need to be there to, like, push a woke agenda?
Well, really, with a toy, the origin story would just be a five-year-old Asian kid building it.
Well, that's true, yes.
It should just be a factory floor with, you know, a little bit of, uh... A kid, yeah, a kid who's never allowed to play with a thing he made.
Let's send this to America.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
Here.
Oh, my fingers hurt.
Well, I guess you're gonna get shot in the alley.
Look at those tiny fingers, though.
Get in there.
They're just so perfect, those little ones.
They're the best.
Don't forget to bite on their feet.
They can't run.
They're the best.
Little Snowpiercer reference?
I like that.
It's Chris Evans, too, right?
Isn't he in that?
Yes.
Yeah.
The movie?
Yes, he is.
I'm a big fan.
Full circle.
It sucks because I do actually like Chris Evans.
I think he's a good actor, and he's good in movies, but damn, he's a dumbass.
Yeah.
He is a dumbass.
Yeah, it's not like, who's the guy who plays Hulk?
I always forget his name.
Mark Ruffalo.
Yeah, Mark Ruffalo.
I just don't like him.
Like, as a person, I never really like his acting enough to be like, I enjoy him.
Mark Ruffalo doesn't like Mark Ruffalo.
No he doesn't.
That's why he turns into a big green monster.
You can't be that miserable and enjoy your life.
He looks like God just stopped making him halfway through.
Oh, come on!
So that'll do.
From a soulless ginger?
Come on!
Oh my god, I have red hair, Dave.
Did you know?
Did you really?
I didn't notice.
This old fire crutch.
And trust me, I've seen it.
It's a beaut.
My son, if it makes you feel any better, he has a little bit of red hair right now.
Who says that?
To compensate for what he just said.
That's like saying I have a black friend.
My son has a red hair.
I'm also gonna dye my son's hair, don't worry.
Yeah, get rid of it.
My brother has red hair.
I mean, I don't talk to him.
My point exactly.
Nothing wrong with that.
I have red hair.
It'll grow out of my beard sometime.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know, we get a little stragglers.
I'm a mutt.
Davey McGregor.
I'm Irish and Italian.
My body doesn't know what to do.
It's confused.
It's like, what do I do?
What do you want to eat?
Potatoes or mustard trolley?
Thank God this wedding meal comes with both.
It's a live show Monday through Thursday at 10 a.m.
Rumble.
Bam!
Anywhere you can find podcasts.
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts.
Mug Club, baby.
You can go to Mug Club.
Yes, you can subscribe right there.
And then of course, the thing we're on right now.
The YouTubes.
YouTube.
Now, uh, yesterday was a big day, I think, for a lot of people in this room.
Big day.
A happy Father's Day, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got Casey, we got... There's a lot of them here.
The Tool Man, Gerald A., happy Father's Day.
Happy Father's Day to you, sir.
And, of course... Happy Father's Day to you.
Thank you very much.
Well, can't we observe Father's Day today, if they can observe Juneteenth today?
I think so.
I love it!
I think we should get more gifts.
Could you get out of the room, please?
Yeah, I can go.
I mean, why... If we're gonna be racist the whole show... No, that's... I didn't say we couldn't do Juneteenth again as well!
Father's Day Observe.
Juneteenth will commence again!
I bet you... Wow, I'm not gonna say what I was just gonna say.
Father's Day Observe would be funny, because there are a lot of people that have to just observe it.
That is true.
That could be white people whose dads left.
That's true, lots of them.
My dad's dad left when he was born.
He was Irish, the black people of white people.
Is that a thing?
That is true, though.
Wow, dude!
They were enslaved.
Well, let's get to these.
They were discriminated against, the Irish.
They were the most hated people in America.
No black people and no Irish.
Irish was always dead last.
It was like, no blacks, no Italians, no Irish.
And then, you know, thank goodness we switched once they realized we're a little...
Worse.
Yeah.
You made the top of the list of nobody comes in.
I'm happy.
That's why we brought Lacosa Nostra with us from Italy.
We're like, fine, we'll take it.
Figured out on our own.
Also, the Irish mob, they are ruthless.
Jewish mob, ruthless.
Hardcore.
None of the mobs that I've heard of have been like, oh, they're nice folk.
Well, I think the Russians are the ones... No, there's Italians that are super cool.
The people are nice, don't get me wrong.
But the mob itself... Well, if you're on their bad side.
Yeah, you gotta be on the good side, too.
Is there a good side?
Yeah, when you don't take a loan from them.
Oh, there you go.
Then they're pretty cool to you, but then it's like if you borrow 20 bucks for the rest of your life They're like, I think you owe me 20 bucks.
So like I paid you every day for the last 30 years It's the Vig yeah, it's what it's called 20 bucks a day.
I got empty pockets right now though.
Yeah Take what you got candy corn.
Are you Irish Lane?
No.
What are you?
English and German Are you Irish?
Yeah.
What?
I just assumed you look Irish.
I can understand where that observation might have come from.
He's way too tall for that.
He's way too tall.
Oh, that's true.
He is tall.
Are you Irish?
You're part Irish, right?
Part Irish and German as well.
Yeah.
Irish, black, and German.
Yeah.
You must not like yourself.
Yeah, it's a lot of internal... A lot of fighting going on.
He would have not been allowed in most places.
No.
No.
Including his own body.
Yeah.
I identify as Bing Bong now.
I want you guys to all use pronouns Bing Bong.
Until I change that.
Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Bing self.
Bing self?
Yesterday, well yesterday of course people got a lot of gifts because it was Father's Day and Juneteenth and people, dozens of people celebrated both.
And these holidays are both... Absolute handfuls.
Just, I can count on one hand how many people were at a Juneteenth Father's Day party.
So many.
Let that one sit.
I received a lovely gift from my son.
Did you?
Yep.
It was a piece of rope called an Epstein necktie.
What did you get?
I got some shirts from the wife.
Oh yeah?
Polos?
No, no.
I already have plenty of polos.
What were they?
They're some short sleeve button down summer shirts.
Fabulous!
There you go.
And I will say this.
I will bring them up one time.
Pictures of my kids' faces on a pair of socks.
Oh, that's nice.
And I rock those things.
I love it.
I thought that was the funniest thing.
I would like it.
Not with your kids on them.
I'm not marketing, like, my kids to everybody else.
Check out my socks, guys.
They're in my merch store.
Yeah, can I get a shirt with your kids on them?
No.
No, you can't.
He's sold out in like five minutes.
That sucks.
No, not sucks.
They all went to 46 year old single Hollywood types.
Those sound like pretty good gifts though.
Yeah, there's gotta be some kind of crappy gifts out there.
I think there are.
I think there are.
What'd you get though real quick?
Anything good?
Well, I got myself a Game Boy.
Yeah, and then some games for it and not even that's not even black and white that's just a greenish tint Yeah, it's now well now.
It's like sunburned and yeah off-colored, and I love it Yeah, and you can't even see the screen you have to like angle it at the Sun, and you can play yeah garbage That's an artifact, man.
It belongs in a museum, but now it's in my room.
I'm with you.
I had Virtual Boy.
Do you remember that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was like one of the eight people whose parents got it for them.
Yeah, you just put it in there and slowly you went blind.
You're like, this is great!
Yeah, I can't wait to get LASIK.
This is the future.
I bet you there were a lot of terrible gifts, though, like you said, laying in the brain.
So here we are.
7 plus 1 worst Father's Day gifts ever.
You forgot to burn in the chamber!
Every time.
I'll start, sure.
A jockstrap for Caitlyn Jenner.
Unnecessary gift.
You can hit the like button, too.
Hit the like button.
Oh, we're gonna hit that later.
Number six, a unicycle for Joe Biden.
I would love to see that.
Wouldn't you?
What's the next one?
Five.
Five is what we call it.
Number five, QB.
A toy train for Woody Allen.
Let's see what he would do.
I don't want to know what he would do.
He'd bring him up to the attic and the train was not the part that was fun for him.
Oh.
Number four, Gerald A. A big book of baby names for George Foreman.
Georgino?
Georgette?
Just all George names.
George-ish?
Look, be happy, we're rich.
Look at these grills.
Number three, unlimited minutes for Alec Baldwin.
Stay on the phone all day and call your daughter a pig.
And then shoot people on a movie set and pretend like you were on the phone.
Well, speaking of which, number two, lay in the brain.
A .38 pistol for Marvin Gaye Sr.
Oh, man, that hits home, man.
We're on, we're observing Juneteenth, okay?
Yeah, which I love Marvin Gaye.
I love him.
One of my favorite ever.
He's like, what's going on?
Your dad has a gun and he's upset.
Stop giving him drugs!
Succinct.
And number one, a home gym for Chris Benoit.
Very nice.
And there's one in the chamber always, of course, QB.
A Lizzo calendar for Crawdaddy.
He's out there.
We've already got it printed.
He's gonna love it.
Thank you.
Thank you. That has been 7 Plus 1.
You forgot Stefan in the chamber!
Gets them every time.
There's always one in the chamber.
Don't forget it.
Whoever bought the home gym for...
That's horrible.
Yeah, not a good idea, right?
No.
No.
Oh well.
That's some deep lore, I feel like.
A lot of people know that?
Yeah.
I'm sure they're Googling it and being like, what?
They have another tab open right now.
Heavens to Betsy.
Oh!
What is this?
Excuse me.
His own neck?
Alright.
Gym accidents, not good.
Be safe in the gym.
Well, it's more of a gym on purpose, except the 88-year-old Alzheimer's Biden brain that he had.
Anyway, hoping to put an end to Fathers and Mothers Day, there were pro-abortion protests
this past weekend.
We are here at Justice Amy Coney Barrett's house today with our arms tied, with our mouths covered,
holding dolls because this is what Amy's America looks like.
Children will be forced to give birth to children.
Women will be silenced.
Women will be invalidated.
Women will be told they are less than.
Women will be told they are inferior.
And that is not okay.
We cannot let that happen.
So all of you who say you are pro-choice, get up and say it out loud.
Get up, take to the streets and stay.
Because you cannot let this happen to your sisters, to your daughters, to your mothers.
You can't let this future happen to us.
It's not fair.
I'm not seeing any covered mouths.
There's a lot of mouths there.
No.
Continuing to talk.
Put the tape back on.
That is, of course, 15-year-old Ariana, who organized the protest.
Doesn't she have maybe a few better things to do on a weekend than worrying about killing babies?
Well, I guess it's letting every guy in school know that she's willing to take a cream pie and then get rid of the evidence.
Whoa!
Too much?
I don't know if you guys know how men think.
She's also a 15 year old.
She's like, children will have children.
Why are they having sex?
Children should not be doing that.
Right.
No, not at all.
Granted, if I was 15, I don't know if I'd agree, but...
If you're 15.
If I'm 15.
No, you're older, you're wiser.
I had sex for the first time when I was 15.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
No, there's biological proof.
I'm not saying that there's anything... Well, not anymore.
I was dating her.
She has no problem.
I went undercovers.
Alright.
What?
Are you worried?
I mean, her?
She just confuses me.
The whole shtick.
Does she have parents or did they abort themselves?
Where are they?
I think, judging by the Upper Crest neighborhood, she has very little problems, and this is her creating one.
That was Amy Coney Barrett's house?
Well, no, they did proceed to walk by Justice Amy Coney Barrett's house with blood painted on their pants.
One wasn't painted, but it was her monthly.
They tape their mouths and of course dolls to their hands.
And that's it.
Ha ha ha ha ha. Uh.
That's better though.
There's like five of them.
It's more silent.
Yeah, no one cares.
It's a week.
You're just looking for something to do and to be enraged about because you don't understand that life, like, wait, just wait a few years.
You'll realize it sucks.
Well, and don't go to the women will be lesser than, it's like, no, no, this is not like, this is not about choosing to do something to your body.
It's choosing to do something to the body that's inside of you that just happens to be a resident.
Maybe we should allow people to kill tenants in apartments at that point.
Well, they're in my place.
Well, I allowed them to be there, but it doesn't matter.
Well, if we up the age of abortion to 16 years old, their parents are probably going to be waiting at home with a sawed-off...
She's gonna be like, I'm pro-life now.
Should be pro-life.
Always.
Yeah, what's your hot take?
I'm sorry.
I'll take the tape off my mouth that I'm not wearing.
A little late.
You don't usually see the early setting up of the protest.
Yeah.
I think that's humorous to me.
A little bit.
I like to see it like, oh, let's get the right tape.
Oh, it hurts a little bit.
Put it in my mouth.
Yeah.
Also, why do they all have such a heavy flow?
That is quite a bit of blood.
That's a lot of blood and white pants.
Very tacky.
I wouldn't wear white pants.
No.
Not in this time of year.
No.
That's a bad idea.
Why is she bleeding from her eyes as well?
That's a fashion award.
I wish those were all real and they had to go shark diving.
I don't even know what shark diving is.
I just want to watch.
She also has the stigmata.
Go Cage.
I feel like there's a great Tampax commercial in there somewhere.
Oh, for sure.
You keep hitting those laughs off.
Lane's killing it.
I'm sorry.
He's really good.
It was funny.
You didn't think it was funny, quarterback?
I thought it was hilarious.
I enjoyed it.
Then why didn't you laugh?
There really should be a commercial where we just air of that and then just have Tampax at the end.
Tampax.
Because your daughter's an idiot.
Arianne and her friends shared more of their thoughts with us.
Thank goodness.
Oh, why?
So now that you put these outfits on, does it make you feel any kind of way?
It makes me feel terrified.
What?
But also powerful.
And like, we're doing something important because this is how a lot of women... This is what a lot of women are going through.
Did you also get beaten?
People are actually dying and bleeding out because they can't get a safe abortion.
No.
That's not happening.
This is a terrifying visual of what America is going to look like.
It's a terrifying visual that children are giving birth to children.
Why does she keep saying that?
I've heard that before.
The eight promiscuous girls in high school are protesting.
Are they holding up the fat girl's underwear who wasn't invited to the protest?
Why'd you kill her?
Shame on you!
Why are you subjecting me to this?
Well, hold on.
I don't want to see this anymore.
The only reason that Ariana signed on is so she could get camera time.
You saw, like, she was, like, butting in.
Like, it's terrifying.
But also powerful.
Terrifying.
Well, they don't know what they're talking about.
I'm the leader.
Yeah, exactly.
Shut up.
Well, yeah, the one girl starts talking and she just immediately interrupts her.
It's terrifying.
That's not on the script.
That's not what we talked about.
But also powerful.
Camera here!
I said camera here!
Often when you feel terrified you also don't feel powerful.
It's part of the feeling of terror.
There might be opposites there.
I'm horrified but I'm also blissful.
I feel a little hungry.
You're 15.
Go be 15.
You sound stupid.
I was stupid when I was 15.
Maybe I am now.
But still.
I didn't tape my mouth shut.
She should have taped it shut more.
I will.
Would have been better.
I do notice that they started with, oh we got our mouths covered, and then it completely gave that up.
Every single shot after that, no mouth covered.
I think except for when the meal comes, any holiday gathering 15 year olds should have to tape their mouth shut.
I think that's fair.
It's because they're thoughts.
It's fair.
I just want to eat.
I just want to sit there.
I just want to eat and move on, watch my movie, and just keep talking.
Yeah, that's it.
I want to hear your opinion because you're 15.
I was asking me questions.
I don't want to talk to you, little kid.
Wow, you guys are jerks.
What do you want to talk to a 15-year-old about?
I'm talking to my kid.
I want to help them understand life.
You want to meet Chris Hansen?
Come over here, sit down.
Take a seat.
Put the Gatorade and the Cheetos down.
It says here you are.
Gerald's A and the A is for a lot of cock.
Was this your chat log here?
I love how it's always the worst name imaginable.
It's like, I wanna bang 15 year olds.
It's like, we were just friends, we were just having a nice conversation, none of it was sexual at all.
Well it says, I wanna bleep you in your bleep, with your bleep tied behind your bleep.
Allegedly!
And yes, I mean this sexually.
The last part probably is the... Have you ever protested in front of Amy Coney Barrett's house?
No.
I'd like to know.
I hope you don't protest what I'm about to do to you.
Except abortions have all but ended in South Dakota pending the release of the SCOTUS decision.
Governor Kristi Noem, is that right?
A woman.
Is she a full woman?
She's pretty hot.
Okay, so we're talking about a real woman.
May I see a picture?
Yeah, let's see.
Real woman.
Yeah, hold on.
We need an update on that.
She's like cowgirl hot.
Okay, so she's like a real woman.
Yeah, she's cowgirl hot.
She's not, oh.
She's like home on the prairie, like.
No, rodeo cowgirl hot.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
She's like buckle bunny hot.
No, no, no, hold on.
Okay, like bunny hop hot?
Buckle bunny.
Oh, I thought you meant like Biden bunny hop.
It was like Daisy Duke.
Like you wouldn't mind getting wrangled by Christy Nome if you know what I'm saying.
Oh my gracious.
Daisy Duke.
Daisy Duke for sure.
Alright.
Okay.
I prefer to pick up that young Amish girl.
Their family carriage ran off the road, okay?
Yes.
Governor, yeah, Kristi Noem, a woman, celebrated the closure of the last abortion clinic in
her state by saying, Abortions have stopped in South Dakota.
We have prayed for this day and now it is here.
Now we must redouble our focus.
Is that right?
It is.
Great.
We must redouble our focus on taking care of mothers in crisis.
Help is available for you.
Adoption is an option.
You are never alone.
And I love that she said that second part because the claim from the left is that we only care about kids while they're in the womb and then after that they they're on their own because they say we oppose social spending and other things like that to take care of them.
It's like no, we oppose giving away free stuff With money that we don't have that doesn't actually solve the problem.
And so she's kind of taking that and heading it off and saying, look, now that this is happening, we have to make sure that mothers in crisis and kids that are born into poverty are getting the help that they need.
Not handouts, not free stuff for the rest of their life to be dependent on the government, but actual help.
So hopefully that helps her.
It doesn't matter.
They're going to call her a murderer.
I think her constituents love what she's doing.
And that's really all that matters for her in her state.
Well, so far, there's been no women taking to the streets with dead babies duct-taped to their hands.
Really?
Well, that's fair.
I'm surprised.
Yeah.
Fake ones, of course.
Well, yes.
Fifteen-year-olds.
Plastic.
And by women, I mean children.
Having children.
Children having children.
Down in the streets.
I think the bigger problem is... Taking to the streets.
Children having babies.
Pants.
Don't do that.
You don't know me, but I'm your mother.
Alright.
That's not a song.
I know it's not.
It changes the mother.
Taking it to the streets.
Lane, you look upset.
You alright?
No.
Angry.
Is it because... No, I'm good.
He's pensive.
Is it because of the...
The ginger things are starting to boil over.
Is that it?
No, I'm fine.
I didn't do it.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I call you laying the brain because I think you're a sharp guy.
I'll survive.
He's very sharp and he does have a soul.
If we need a quick during show pick-me-up, Charity says Ginger Snap is as hot as Chris Evans.
Ah, see?
Charity?
I agree.
Charity already said he transitioned as well.
I think that counts me though.
Don't insult Charity.
Hey Casey, I appreciate you making up that account to say that honestly.
It was actually me tweeting under the desk.
Yeah, right.
But I meant every word.
Oh, chicks love you on there.
You haven't seen that?
They do, yeah.
He's popular.
Some like the chest hair, some don't.
Well, they're wrong and I hate them.
What do you prefer?
You like the chest hair?
On other people?
Oh yeah, myself.
On women.
On women!
You can take it or leave it.
Yeah, I mean, it just depends.
There's certain nationalities where it just comes with the frame.
And if the rest is working, it works.
Yeah.
If you can work it, you can work it.
It's a confidence thing.
I've always said, you know, nothing like a nice pair of hairy tits.
Nice and warm.
Okay.
End of a long day.
Curlies around the area.
Oh yeah, that's good.
Let's keep on moving here, please.
Oh my goodness.
Fabulous.
Stephen just threw his phone across the room.
Actually, he's probably laughing at that one.
I know I could get him to laugh at that.
That wasn't even dirty.
Come on.
No.
Everybody's got nipples.
We know that we all prefer a woman without hairy breasts.
I'm just saying, if we took an honest poll, I think everyone would go, I like my breasts hairless.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I'm sure there's one guy out there that's like, I absolutely disagree.
I like, I like breasts to look like earmuffs.
Living in his mother's basement.
Oh, for sure.
And mother's got hairy breasts.
Mother, can I feed?
So anyway.
Perhaps the protesters are like this.
So creepy.
And somebody calls their mom, Mother.
Mother.
Do you hear that in the stores ever?
Mommy.
Mother.
Mother, may I buy this?
And I'm like, uh.
You're 35.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause it's never.
It's weird.
Take the diaper off.
So I always think like, I'm doing like an old classic car and he's got old woman
insurance. He spent all his life working on that and not life.
Like you buy a classic car once you win.
Yeah.
You got a chick that was like into cars.
Yeah.
It's like mother, I'll slow down. I'm sorry, mother.
It's his mom's car.
Yeah, that's true.
She bought it and it's just been in the garage.
Pre-inheritance.
I know you're going to die soon, mother.
Oh, mother.
It's the machine from 8mm.
Go to church, mother.
I want to do bad things.
Perhaps the protesters are like this young lady, who just enjoys killing babies.
Y'all, these dumbasses were making a live on TikTok, and they were explaining about how, oh, pro-life is good, abortions are bad, and all this and that, and I had to pop in and give my two cents, and they were like, you know, they're babies, it's a human, humans have rights, and you're gonna kill it?
That's a murder.
And I'm like, listen, bitch, I would get pregnant just to abort it.
You can't argue with me, okay?
I'm psycho.
I would f***ing kill it.
That's true.
I would push myself down the f***ing stairs.
I would jump out of a plane to kill that baby.
I do not want to give birth.
Why wait?
Jump on that plan now.
Yes, there's stairs available everywhere.
Your terms are acceptable to me.
Plentiful with stairs.
You're in a car, there's walls.
There are bridges that need to be jumped off of.
Low ones, you know, five, ten feet.
Why is it that you would relate it to being psychotic, though, if you thought it was a noble belief?
Yeah.
Yeah, isn't that interesting?
I'm crazy, therefore.
It's like, subconsciously, they know.
I would get pregnant just to get an abortion.
Well, that's nice.
I would jump out of a plane.
You realize you would kill yourself, right?
I don't know that you've thought this through.
No.
Just so you didn't have to.
I psycho though!
I psycho!
Look at me.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
Look at this.
I'm wearing a jersey.
I'll delete myself.
I don't even play football.
I put my glasses down so the sun hits my eyes, which defeats the purpose of sunglasses.
Yeah, I look like TLC a little bit.
I chase waterfalls.
I will also jump down one if I'm pregnant.
Oh, good.
The Supreme Court is scheduled to release more opinions tomorrow and Thursday.
Yeah.
You guys excited?
I am.
Woo!
So this week we'll see Roe v. Wade decisions coming down.
Lane and I were talking about it with Benson as well.
It's going to get crazy.
We're trying to determine when they're going to do that.
Probably, you think, Lane, do you think next Thursday probably?
I would say it would be their last set of decisions before they're released for the summer recess because I don't think they want to have to deal with any of that press or any of the crap.
I mean, look what's already going on.
Can you imagine after it's official?
Yeah, they don't want to go to work the next day and face the protests and everything else.
They're just going to drop it last day.
Alright, we're out.
Going to Cancun.
So we'll see.
We'll keep you guys posted.
We'll be covering when it drops.
They've been doing most of their drops in the morning around 9, 10 o'clock, something like that.
Yeah, they're usually all in by 11 Eastern, I think.
And none of these people are awake at that time.
Wow.
Do they use the term drop like it's an album?
Yeah.
And Amy Coney Barrett gets down front and gives one of these.
Dropping like it's hot.
Doing the b-boy stance.
I'm Amy Coney the Shaka.
Oh.
No, she's not.
Very boring.
No?
Very boring.
Yeah.
You don't like Amy Coney Barrett?
I like her.
You like Coney dogs?
Oh.
She went to your alma mater, right?
Coney Island?
You like Coney Island?
She did.
Wait, she was a professor, I think, at my alma mater.
I don't think she went there.
At Notre Dame?
Notre Dame.
Our lady.
Where you played soccer?
I played American football.
Oh.
Well.
Someone else is from South Bend, Indiana, aren't they?
Our man Pete Buttgig.
Pete Buttgig is from South Bend, Indiana.
There's big news with Buttgig.
Air travel is starting to get crazy in the U.S.
and transportation... wait, he's that guy. I was laughing, I'm sorry. Yes, he's the, well, emphasis on secretary.
He's the transportation secretary. Pete Buttigieg is warning airlines to step up their game or else.
Of the Memorial Day meltdown when 2,700 flights were canceled nationwide.
Hopefully people just kind of get there with like no more complications, no more delays.
Late today, transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg gathered airline CEOs in a virtual meeting
asking for assurances that the rest of the summer vacation season will go smoothly.
I let them know that, you know, this is a moment when we're really counting on them to deliver reliably for the traveling public.
Look, there is a lot of pent-up demand out there.
Among the biggest choke points, Florida.
Passenger traffic has surged more than 100% over pre-pandemic levels at virtually every airport in the state.
That's almost like people weren't allowed to travel for a while.
Now they want to go to Florida?
Strange.
Weird.
Strange.
It's very odd.
I wonder why.
I can't get it.
Also, maybe it's because gas is $5 a gallon.
On average.
Perhaps airplane fuel has gone up.
Perhaps.
Perhaps I have to pay $1,400 for a ticket to Detroit.
I'm not exaggerating.
Wow.
What?
Goodness.
Yeah, I'm not kidding.
Why would anyone pay $1,400 to go to Detroit?
Because they're from there, otherwise there's zero reason.
I'm kind of retarded.
I actually get to sit co-pilot.
Oh!
Booty.
Booty King also said his department could take enforcement actions against airlines that fail to live up to consumer protection standards.
And I'm glad you mentioned this because this is one of the unintended consequences segments that we should probably have at the ready every single time the government comes in and says I'm going to force you to do something in private business.
They're saying, look, if you schedule these flights, you have to have at least this many, otherwise we may fine you.
You know what airlines will do?
Okay, we will schedule fewer flights and so ticket prices will go up and there'll be fewer opportunities to travel because airlines don't have enough pilots right now.
His own department, transportation, is part of the problem down in Florida that they were having, didn't mention that, and it's pent-up demand.
Like, you can't force airlines to do better jobs with fewer trained pilots.
Yes, I want to have Dave, after two months of training, go in and fly a plane and hopefully not kill us.
No, I'd rather have a really well-trained pilot and that takes time.
I'm pretty good at loop-de-loops now.
Well, there you go!
On that note, though, if you do want to become a pilot, now is probably the easiest time ever to do it.
So if you have new dreams, Dave, and you want to spread your wings... I do.
You know, there's a good shot.
You could be flying for Spirit Airlines.
Yeah!
I just want to be like John Travolta.
Buzz the tower?
I'll be like, I'll fly the plane, and then I'll put it into autopilot and be like, hey, who wants to give me an old H.J.?
Or this thing ain't gonna land, fella.
Probably Pete Buttigieg.
This thing won't land itself, actually.
Count me in.
Probably is a good time, though, to become a pilot.
Yeah, my friend, she flies for American, and she said that they can't get enough applications in quick enough.
No.
They're just canceling flights all the time.
Yeah.
Oh, I was on one this week, and it was delayed three hours before I got in, and people get furious.
I'm just so used to the fact that this is kind of what it is now.
Yeah.
I'm just like, yeah, whatever.
I guess I'm just gonna read more.
Go back to the lounge.
Yeah, it's not the end of the world.
I bet you have a lounge pass, Gerald.
I do.
I do too, but I don't go in there.
I do.
I think it's uppity.
I don't care.
What do they have in the lounge?
Just free food and a place to sit.
It's really not much.
It's only because I have so many miles on Delta.
But it's like, ooh, croissants.
That's worth it.
Yay!
Extra how much?
Day old bread.
$400 a year.
But you get, like, bonus miles.
It works out if you travel.
If you're doing a lot.
Yeah.
I have a credit card for it, so that's the only reason.
Okay, Gerald, we get it.
No, I'm saying... No, me too.
I get it.
We get it that you're bragging.
Mine makes sense.
I'm not bragging at all!
I got to the San Francisco airport three and a half hours early one time by accident.
You don't want to get there early.
I'm just gonna go into the airport lounge I'll pay the $50 day fee and they're like you know for 200 bucks you could probably have a pass for the year and I'm like what?
Yeah, you walk into the airport lounge in San Francisco, it's just a bathroom with holes in the stall.
Yeah, exactly.
People taking dumps everywhere, like, huh, want to make you feel like San Francisco.
You don't use the bathroom.
It's great!
Well, on the same day that Butt Gage, Butt Gage.
Yeah.
Booty Gage.
Large Gage.
Butter Buns.
His own flight from Washington to New York was cancelled, forcing him to use a very special rental car service.
He's had a lot of dongs when I was over there.
It's gonna take extra time.
But who can blame them?
You know, they do have a pretty awesome marketing campaign.
Mac, why don't you go ahead and operate the bike?
Yeah!
Sure.
No problem.
Just like any other workout bike.
Wow.
The pedals?
Oh, there you go.
It's outrageous.
I know.
There it is.
I mean, it's just a...
Classic.
Okay, alright, alright, alright.
Okay, I know what you're thinking, okay?
But it is not what it looks like.
Classic.
I wonder if his bike does that.
Also, be sure to share the show right now, if you can.
Enjoying it.
I'm enjoying it.
I hope you're enjoying it.
And also, again, don't forget to comment.
Say how much you love stuff.
Or how much you don't.
I don't really care what you think.
Let us know.
I do care.
I do care.
Massively insecure.
Hate comments are comments.
They are true.
Interactions.
Thanks for watching.
But honestly, yeah.
And also let us know what, again, what's the worst Father's Day gift you've ever given or received.
Comment.
No?
Did not.
That was a deliberate slight.
He did.
He left you on that branch.
And it cracked.
That hurt.
Comment.
I can't do it again.
Watch this.
Rumble!
Rumble!
Can you do it again?
Rumble!
Go to rumble Oh
Oh Man
All right, guys, this is pretty important.
OK, yes, serious faces.
Let's get serious faces on here.
Big boy pants.
Big deal here.
On Sunday, June 19th, Congressman Adam Kinzinger of the January 6th Committee had this to say about future violence.
There are people that there is violence in the future, I'm going to tell you.
And until we get a grip on telling people the truth, we can't expect any differently.
He had no idea how right he would be.
Here's footage from Juneteenth Mo'Cella celebration in Washington DC.
Mostly peaceful celebration.
Yes.
Is that Sofia Vergara narrating the video?
Oh, yes it is.
It's a lot of gun shows!
Look at it!
It go pop pop!
You're telling me that's Washington, D.C.?
Yes, the gun safe area.
What?
Yeah, it's so gun free.
Ridiculous.
Yeah.
I mean, it's mostly gun free.
Mostly.
Like, that was, like, majority no gun.
Are we sure that wasn't Cheyenne, Wyoming?
It could have been.
I think it might have.
It could have been.
But according to the Chief of Police, the event was promoted on social media but was not authorized.
This evening, around the six o'clock hour, there was an unpermitted event that took place in the 1400 block of U Street.
And while this event was going on, apparently this started on social media, several hundred people began to gather in the area of the 1400 block of U Street.
Most of the group was contained initially to the sidewalk.
MPD members responded to the area to assist.
In fairness, they did go to get a Juneteenth permit, and they were like, oh, what?
Everyone's like, huh?
Juneteenth?
Look, we've looked through everything.
I got nothing.
The 16th?
We didn't make the 18th?
What's the etymology behind that?
Like, what is teenth?
June 19th.
Juneteenth.
Yeah, but it's like an Ebonics thing.
It's science.
The 18th and 17th, there's teenths in all of these.
There are, yes.
I'm just confused.
Forgive the ignorance.
No, no, it's a good point.
I remember a crack addict tried to sell me a little girl's bicycle for 11 teen cents.
That happened once.
It's a good deal.
You're like, I guess so.
And you bought it.
Does it have the bell?
Did it have the bell?
It did not.
That was what was upsetting.
Yeah.
I was like, what am I going to do if Biden falls?
He needs the bell to get attention.
Oh!
Sound in the darkness.
Can I have a bell?
Just in case I need help.
I was going to look up where Juneteenth comes from.
And do you want to see what happens if you Google Juneteenth?
Oh, I hate that.
Oh, yes, I do.
Oh, no.
Do you know why I hate this?
It's not because of Juneteenth.
What is this?
Is that the Palestine flag?
I don't know what it is.
I think it is.
That's Jamaica, isn't it?
I don't know what it is.
Jamaican flag.
It's when they just... Jamaican me crazy.
Yeah, no kidding.
The reason I hate this is because when you do feasters... Then is when you play the applause.
Nothing.
Thank you.
Guys, come on.
Yeah.
I was trying to call back to that.
Nope!
Look at these guys.
You can't force the applause.
No, I think that was the time to do it.
I miss you, Gary.
I miss you too.
That's not offense to anybody else.
No, no.
Don't get all worked up.
We just have a special connection.
We're just friends.
Two of us.
Right.
Over here.
Just me and you.
Part-time lovers!
Right, Geraldine?
No.
Full-time.
Okay.
Overtime.
Overtime lover.
Overtime lovers.
Putting in the hours.
And night shift too.
Where are we now?
Anyway, let's... Well, let's be more serious about this, though.
What we do know, honestly, about the shooting is one 15-year-old was shot dead.
Three others wounded, including one officer.
There was an earlier violent altercation, which people also fled on foot.
It's a celebration.
It's the running of the bullshit.
The police did not close the event, though.
That's insane.
How many times can you have people running from an event where they're like, ah, I think it's safe to go back?
In D.C.
This is like every day.
I don't understand.
Everyone thinks that a celebration marking the end of the worst institution of American history is a great idea.
Yes.
I have no problem.
Like for example, today the stock market is shut down.
Is it?
Which I think is exciting that after 156 years they decided to finally do that.
You can tell that it's sincere when over a century and a half later they're like, let's acknowledge this.
The abolishment of slavery.
And this is very interesting to me because the Emancipation Proclamation was almost two years prior to this.
That should be, in my opinion, the date.
But I understand why having... Yeah, because this is like the final official... Sort of, because it's when Union soldiers showed up in Galveston Bay and And let them know, like read this proclamation to them, letting them know that they were free, and they had to show up in force to make sure that they could enforce this in former Confederate states, but I don't think that was the last group to find out, right?
That's when they finally showed up in Texas.
There were probably groups after that as well, so it's almost arbitrary that they're picking that day to celebrate.
I'm like, can we just put it on the Emancipation Proclamation Day?
Because that's when a white guy and a bunch of white soldiers and black soldiers died to free slaves, and we should be celebrating that all together.
Did you have to open with white guy?
Well, I did because it's like he doesn't exist.
That's true.
That's the problem.
I don't have a problem.
Well, Juneteenth started in Texas, right?
Wasn't that the whole idea?
It was in Galveston, Texas.
It's interesting that we have to have two different holidays because information traveled so slowly.
Well, and Confederate people were just saying, no, we're not going to do it.
So of course you should be like, alright, idiots.
The Emancipation Proclamation was signed.
But correct me if I'm wrong, this is something I should definitely have a better grip on.
There's never been a federal holiday surrounding the Emancipation Proclamation.
No, I think it should be.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'll take both.
So that's why it just seems like the messaging here is not really about freeing the slaves at all.
It doesn't seem, it just seems like some sort of strange cultural... Yeah.
Yeah, it's not really about the event itself, it's about the...
Outward appearance of going look how virtuous we are celebrating this right now like Google when you type in on Google Juneteenth you get this thing so then go look at us we're doing the song and dance like we got your thing right?
Oh you got a black friend that's what Google's doing.
Because I think we all know, if we remember history, that when slavery ended, there was confetti.
Not to overshadow Father's Day at all.
No, it's not meant for that whatsoever.
Well, that's what sucks, is it really is about separating races again and just making something up to be divisive.
That's all that it really comes down to.
I'm not saying making it up and the fact that it didn't happen.
It did, and it should be celebrated, but then throwing in the holiday out of nowhere and pandering 156 years later, or really 158 years later, like you've said, is pointless and obvious.
Right, which is why I pointed out that Abraham Lincoln was white and that white people died.
No, no, but not to say that.
It was just to say that that should bring us together.
Right.
We were all on the same page.
The reason you know it's not supposed to bring us together is how many American flags are being flown to celebrate this holiday?
Exactly.
Zero.
The ones I love.
Yeah.
Go ahead, please.
I was gonna say that we have this flag that unites us together already.
So if we want to be united, we would use this flag as that symbol, but no one does that because that's not the goal of this.
No.
It's to separate, conquer, and divide, just like everything in the last 10 years has been.
Yeah, the ones that I do like to see are the ones that have American flags, because it's finally showing, hey, you are American, you are now free.
That's such an American story that that should be the focal point, is that we're all together, we're all together in this, but it's not.
It's, like you just said, just separating everybody again.
Showing different colors, different flags.
It should be about America finally rising up and going, no, this is a bad thing.
We should undo this.
Well, and it's about people in power that will get more power by dividing it.
Yeah.
And then you also have corporations that are out there that'll make more money off of, you know, the attempt at Juneteenth ice cream like Walmart did, which I think they accidentally made it a gay thing or something because it was June and they were like, we didn't know.
Oops.
We have no idea.
Sorry.
The original Juneteenth flag looked like this and now it has changed into this.
They call it a Pan-African flag.
Ah.
Pan-African?
Tell someone in Africa that they're Pan-African and see how well that goes.
You know what?
Yeah, no kidding.
You know what?
The Union troops showed up.
They said, hey, by the way, you guys are free.
Here's the flag.
And they were like, yes, thank God we're free.
They weren't like, hey, we got to make something else now so that that signifies that this country bled and died for us.
I think we'll all jump behind the stars and stripes.
Right.
Well, and what happened to the original flag that you just showed that was drawn by a kid?
MS Paint.
When was that first Juneteenth flag made?
I gotta look into it.
It was 1997.
Way back in the day.
140 years.
It was 1997, yeah.
Oh yeah, way back in the day.
140 years.
Yeah, yeah.
OG flag.
Back in 97.
Back when Jordan was still a bull, Dave.
The good old days.
We really are just going to keep being divided and divided if we don't...
And look, it's totally fine if this is something that you want to celebrate.
You should.
You should be happy that we're free.
That it's a free country.
You shouldn't do that by dividing everybody.
You should be doing it by unifying everybody.
And you shouldn't overlap other holidays with it, which they're deliberately doing.
You're being insulting to people by doing it.
You're being insulting to black fathers by doing it.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just my, honestly, it reinforces stereotypes.
It hurts families.
It's just, you can be happy that we're a free country.
Enjoy Father's Day as well.
You don't have to do this observe shit.
You don't have to- pardon my language.
But it's- it's just all such pandering.
It's the same as a month of gay pride parades and everything- why?
So you can sell Doritos and at the end you're like, oh yeah, rainbow.
By the way...
We're selling a product to you.
Well, that's the problem is if anything right now was anti... if the popular thing of the day was to be anti-gay, every single corporation would be hopping on that.
There's no authenticity to any of this.
Not at all.
No.
I think Disney is authentic to their gay agenda, but other than that...
I think, though, once it starts, if everything keeps tanking at the box office, watch it change.
Well, they fired the head of TV.
Did they just recently?
TV development, yeah.
He just, like, unceremoniously just fired him.
What did they give him as severance?
Two kids?
Here you go.
Two little transgender kids.
Here's your basket of molesties.
Have fun.
But I think you're right.
Once money doesn't come in anymore, they're gonna drop this stuff.
But it takes the audience a long time for them to come around and go, wait, this crap sucks.
Why are we paying for this?
I'm just gonna stay home.
Wait, Maverick?
I'll go watch Maverick.
It just looks like Jets.
It's cool.
I don't know any gay people that were like, I can't watch Tim Allen do a voice.
This is horrible.
I can't believe him.
This is terrible.
It's like a handful of people on Twitter.
And they're probably bots.
More than likely.
Well, a lot of them are.
Yeah.
Have you ever tested that theory?
Where you just put out a certain thing and then you see how many people come at you and you realize it's bots saying the exact same thing for an agenda?
It's very scary.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Twitter is so fake.
It's the worst place on earth.
It's interesting when you find a real person.
Yeah.
Well, usually they're awful as well, but... Yeah.
There's some decent people.
I was talking about Ezra Miller and his crimes.
I did a video about it, and the first thing that I got was... The Flash?
Yeah, the Flash.
The hero, superhero Flash.
Which is ironic.
Doing a bunch of grooming, interestingly.
And the comment was, uh, can you not Mispronoun him, okay?
You're misgendering him.
Like, there's no need to misgender him.
He's just a bad person, okay?
I'm like, why do we give him respect?
You're missing the point and get nothing.
Just because he's grooming children doesn't mean you have to misgender him.
We have standards.
Look, people are gonna really get hurt here.
I want to hear more about that behind the paywall.
Have you not heard about The Flash?
He plays The Flash.
Kidnaps someone.
Just snatching kids.
But fortunately he doesn't misgender people.
He knows exactly who he's kidnapping.
So...
Well Dave, you have a date coming up too, right?
July 15th, 16th, Columbus, Ohio?
Big date!
Back in Ohio!
No, I'm kidding.
Yes, actually, it'll be in Columbus, Ohio, July 15th and 16th.
And again, don't forget to check us out, me and Stephen.
We are touring around the country with our Devils Without a Cause.
Rebels!
We're going platinum!
A Cause!
And then, of course, you can catch me in Michigan on July 9th.
But until then, we got some stuff behind the paywall.
We're going to be talking about how FINA bans trans swimmers.
I don't know if you heard about that.
Yeah, I saw that.
Ooh, saucy.
And we're going to talk about The Flash a little bit, too.
We got our comic book friend on here.
I'd like to thank QB, Lane, both of you for joining us today.
Thank you, sir.
▲
Export Selection