Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Sept. 28, 2021 - Louder with Crowder

01:16:53

John Oliver Says Voter ID is RACIST?! The TRUTH About Voting Rights | Louder with Crowder

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	You could've done your heart with foam, if you keep on doing your heart with your life of love, you know you're
	making the world a better place. You could've done your heart with foam, if you keep on doing your heart with your
	life of love, you know you're making the world a better place.
	You could've done your heart with foam, if you keep on doing your heart with your life of love, you know you're
	making the world a better place.
	Federal law prohibits filming of endangered falcons, except for educational purposes.
	To avoid federal crimes and maximum penalty of up to five years in prison, the following comedy sketch has been edited in post-production to be educational.
	Viewer discretion is advised.
	Oh, pretty bird.
	You're pretty.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	Shh.
	Shh.
	It's okay.
	It's okay, you pretty bird.
	Shh.
	What the hell are you doing?
	This is our falcon, our CrowderShop.com mascot.
	I'm going to teach her how to haunt.
	You don't even think about falconing?
	Actually, it's falconry, which historically was a popular sport and status symbol among the nobles of medieval Europe and Japan, where it's called takaguri.
	Falconry has been around forever and may have even been started in Mesopotamia.
	He's got a hysterical little helmet with a spear.
	Good question, Steven.
	The Falcon's hood, used during the phase of its acclimating to humans, which is referred to as the manning process, is used to keep the Raptor in a calm state, both in early parts of its training and throughout its life.
	life.
	and I'm going to be doing a lot of that.
	Yes.
	Falcons aren't naturally human aggressive.
	Kestra will do well starting with chicken hearts, livers, then switching to other meats like sparrows, other small birds, ducks, ducks and pigeons, and then move on to mice and insects.
	So remember, if you see a falcon in the wild, it's more afraid of you than you are of him.
	This one's a her?
	**** You can't keep releasing falcons on me.
	If you don't keep going, I'm going to quit.
	Falcons may be badass, but not as badass as merchandise, which you can get at CryderShop.com.
	**** You're a strange animal, that's what I know.
	You're a strange animal, how do you do it?
	Wonderful sip.
	Feels good on my throat, too.
	We have some people here in the office.
	We have someone who had to test positive for the COVID.
	Ah, that's right.
	And I'm paranoid because I have a slight headache.
	Oh, dude.
	As opposed to last week.
	You're gone.
	We don't know.
	We don't know.
	Cherish every day is what I'm telling you.
	We each have a cross to bear, Stephen.
	Yes.
	That's true.
	You don't have to think about it, dude.
	Mild headache and low-grade fever.
	I can't.
	So, into the grave.
	My life.
	Today we're going to, we have a bunch we're going to get to.
	John Oliver, a lot of people, a lot of you were asking, John Oliver did a whole thing on voting rights yesterday, why it's racist.
	I didn't feel the need to address it because we've done an entire Change My Mind series on this, we've done a segment, however he brought up some I can't say new arguments, they're very pedestrian, but he brought up the same arguments again.
	races, all the stuff, you know, voter ID. So we're going to do a piece-by-piece rebuttal.
	We haven't done one of those in a while. Yeah, it's been a little bit. And we're going to be
	talking about Joe Biden. You know, he wants 97% vaccination rate in this country. Oh, he does.
	Yeah, you can't get 97% of Americans to do anything. That's true. And one thing I want
	to let you guys know too with John Oliver, we want to, with this show, be very clear that all he does
	is just bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
	We want to offer some solutions, right?
	And sometimes it's not necessarily political, but how you can implement these in your life.
	Because it's really easy to sit back and complain.
	It's not so easy to actually do something about it.
	Especially as a Brit.
	Yeah.
	Well, there's just, you know, they always, the problem with, there is something increasingly irritating about a Brit coming here and telling us how to run our own country, because the thing they always say about Americans abroad is, you're so arrogant, you think the world should be this way.
	Show me one American host, French, I don't know what it is, Belgian, show me one American host in the UK Yeah.
	That'd be funny.
	We're very nice.
	Yeah.
	And they say we're all fat.
	Yes.
	And that we eat cucumber sandwiches.
	Is that nonsense?
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	They're talking about me.
	Gross.
	Awkward.
	Very nice.
	And they say we're all fat.
	Yes.
	And that we eat cucumber sandwiches.
	Is that nonsense?
	Yeah, that's the thing about me.
	Gross.
	Awkward.
	Is he really?
	All right, speaking of which, Gerald A., how are you?
	I am well, and I hate cucumbers, for the record.
	Really?
	I do.
	A lot of pickles hate cucumbers.
	Really?
	Hate them.
	Well, pickles are just a cucumber on drugs.
	Quarterback Garrett, how are you?
	What's going on?
	Well, you hate eating them.
	That's true.
	No, I just hate them.
	Feeling good?
	None of the COVID?
	No.
	Because he's a quarter vaccine hesitant.
	I'm very hesitant, yes.
	Dave Landau, how are you, sir?
	I'm good, ahoy hoy.
	Hey, everyone out there, you know, Dave Landau has a show coming up this Friday, October 1st.
	Yes!
	If you are in Pennsylvania, anywhere in the Rust Belt, near Pittsburgh, Philly, Homestead, Pennsylvania, the tickets are in the description below.
	Sometimes people don't really know where to go and buy tickets.
	Oh, yeah.
	Support live comedy!
	And you know what?
	Look, I don't care what you do as far as supporting live comedy in the movement.
	He's one of the best out there.
	Very, very funny.
	Go for it.
	Okay.
	It's roughly the area where Hillary Clinton had no idea there was a steel company.
	Yes, yes.
	You know, a company's out of business, you mean.
	Yes.
	The Steelers.
	It's not important.
	She's one of the Steelers.
	A vote, allegedly.
	With an A. Allegedly.
	Election fraud.
	Not a thing.
	So.
	Not real.
	Not a thing.
	Never been a thing.
	No.
	No.
	No proof.
	Hey Dave.
	It's not a thing.
	There's no election fraud.
	I know you think that you've seen some votes.
	I've seen it.
	Up here out of nowhere being thrown in the trash.
	No, stop it.
	I've seen it.
	It's not your fault.
	It is.
	Election fraud's not a thing.
	Stop it.
	So, uh, we have, uh, Moeller left us on TikTok before we move on here, uh, now trying to teach, you know, gender reveals.
	People are mad about that.
	Yeah.
	Uh, gender, they call this gender creative parenting.
	Well, that's a made up name if I've ever heard one.
	Hold on.
	I haven't seen this, but I'm willing to bet.
	Let's watch the clip.
	When our child Zoomer was born in 2016, my partner Brent and I decided to raise them without assigning a gender.
	We didn't disclose their reproductive anatomy to people who didn't need to know.
	We used the gender-neutral pronouns they, them, their until Zoomer could tell us what pronouns fit best, and we taught Zoomer about bodies, gender, identity, and expression in an expansive and inclusive way.
	We wanted to hold space for the possibility that Zoomer could be intersex and gender non-binary.
	We're committed to protecting them from experiencing sexism in early childhood.
	Zoomer wore all the clothes, played with all the toys, and got to experience a childhood free of gender stereotypes.
	Around Zoomer's fourth birthday, he told us that he's a boy, and that he loves he-him pronouns.
	Zoomer knows who he is, and understands that gender is not binary, and that his body... He also loves shitting his pants.
	We call this gender-creative parenting, and there's resources and an amazing community waiting for you if you want to learn more.
	See, the key there is... Can I say the woman in the video?
	I have no idea.
	Who knows?
	Z says, we call this creative gender parenting.
	Okay, you can call it whatever.
	It's nothing.
	It's not real.
	It's not a thing.
	This is the issue.
	But then it'll be a thing, and that'll become a part of the curriculum.
	We're laughing at how absurd it is, but it's hate speech in certain places like the UK to speak out against it.
	My home country in Canada.
	Pastors, jailed.
	Mike Ward, jailed for an offensive joke.
	This is the issue.
	Creative gender parenting is not a thing.
	Do you know how I know?
	Hospitals.
	You know the places that you've short-staffed?
	They have to mark it down!
	You have to mark down the name Zoomer.
	I know!
	I'm sitting there going, you sure?
	Fine, here's your stupid kid.
	They leave it in the preemie ward like, you know, we're just gonna leave it unlocked.
	It would be a shame if someone swapped him and gave him a better life.
	Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
	Your kid needs parents, not a friend.
	That's really what it boils down to.
	I want to eat chocolate all night long.
	Well, we gotta let him do it.
	Yeah, before we move on, comment if you're a parent.
	I just, you know, this is a good, I have, you know, we have twins, and obviously I know people say it'll get harder, all this, I understand, but with twins you have to get them on a schedule, and if one of them starts whining 20 minutes ahead, we, look, you're fine, you're not gonna starve, we change your diaper, Whine it out!
	And then eventually we're going to get to a point where, oh, I want this!
	No!
	No!
	It doesn't matter if it is M&Ms for dinner or to cut off their penis.
	The answer is no!
	Zoomer's gonna be a bit of a prick when he grows up.
	He's very angry at his parents.
	I'm serious.
	He's gonna think the world revolves around him, and I get to experience everything, and it's about me getting to make every choice in life, and it's like, oh, you're just setting yourself up for hell as parents.
	Zoomer's gonna be like that, I don't know if it was the NPR podcast, where the host would switch genders in the show.
	What?
	Like, no, now I'm a, we'll bring this up for Mug Club, someone in the control room.
	Seriously?
	Yeah, in the middle of the show, it was like, oh no, now you're talking to Tammy, I'm a woman now.
	And they were like, Okay, Danny.
	So you have split personalities.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that's normal.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So Zoomer was born a girl?
	No, I think a boy.
	Oh, and then he figured out all on his own that he's a boy.
	I don't know if he was born a boy or a girl.
	They didn't disclose.
	They didn't disclose.
	It is ma'am!
	Boy, I'm gonna buy my son a Kevlar vest.
	As soon as my son is old enough, he's getting a beer in one hand and a Playboy in the other.
	I'm not raising San Francisco Green kids.
	Okay, no Playboys.
	Yes, Playboys.
	Fine.
	They're clothed now.
	It will be, I don't know, Esquire, whatever it is.
	It'll be a poster of Farrah Fawcett.
	Yeah, it won't be a swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated with a, you know, dick.
	Yeah, it won't be George Clooney on a bearskin rug, though.
	We all have our weaknesses.
	You can only say no to so much.
	You can only say no to so much.
	I'm but a man!
	I'm weak.
	Biden got his booster shot yesterday.
	Everyone's talking about, hey, isn't that great?
	Setting a great example.
	He got his booster of the Trump vaccine.
	He said he can return us to normal, but what's key here is what he says about how many Americans need to be vaccinated to return to normal.
	This is scary.
	this week in Biden.
	If you have a problem, figure it out whether you're for me or Trump and you ain't black.
	How many Americans need to be vaccinated first to go back to normal?
	What is the percentage of total vaccinations that have to be deployed?
	Well, I think, look, I think we get the vast majority, like you're pointing out in some
	of the, some industries and some schools, 97, 98%.
	I think we're going to go awful close.
	But I'm not the scientist.
	I think, but one thing for sure, a quarter of the country can't go unvaccinated.
	For those listening on audio, uh, yeah, you know what?
	He did.
	He just said 97 or 98% to go back to normal.
	figure out whether you're for me or Trump and you ain't black.
	For those listening on audio. Yeah, you know what he did?
	He just said 97 or 98% to go back to normal. Can you get 97 or 98% of Americans to do anything? No, I'm sure for free
	cash, right?
	That's true.
	88% of Americans.
	They've tried to get free cash for vaccines.
	Yeah, it didn't work.
	Yeah, they just started a lottery.
	The most racist commercials ever.
	I know.
	You can win a million dollars, why aren't you vaccinated?
	Just put a lottery ticket at the end of a fishing pole, and then he's like, hey, I want this.
	And then he sees a needle, nah.
	I'm out, man.
	It would have just been funny for the second he got that shot, he just grabs his... We got a bleeder!
	His ears grow.
	Can you imagine how long he bleeds for?
	It's going to be like two days off lunch.
	He's going to need to get that other Pfizer anti-clotting drug.
	Hey!
	Stock goes up another 542%.
	Here's the thing.
	This is terrifying.
	97.
	We can't have a quarter of the country.
	Actually, you can.
	It's called freedom.
	Yeah.
	It is called freedom, and let's just be clear.
	If you trust your vaccine, it shouldn't affect you.
	If the vaccine does what they said it was going to do, not the moved goalposts, it doesn't matter.
	It doesn't matter.
	Your vaccine works.
	You only have a 2% chance of being hospitalized and you guys say, hey, it reduces it by 10 times getting hospitalized.
	We'll get to some numbers here because it's a little bit concerning.
	I don't necessarily know that that data is reflected in the Data.
	So the issue here is it is this is a this is a terrifying power grab and we'll get to New York in a little bit yeah releasing the military oh my god yeah this always starts with something small and that's why we'll be talking about John Oliver it's something as silly as seatbelt laws What was that?
	You just hit something.
	Also, by the way, keep in mind Fauci said 70% of Americans, right?
	That was the number.
	70% for herd immunity?
	That's a Fauci overlay.
	70% for herd immunity.
	And this was after, of course, he mocked Rand Paul for the notion of herd immunity.
	Well, he's been right about everything else.
	Yeah!
	I think actually Fauci, bring that overlay, bring that overlay, he changed it!
	Now saying up to 90%.
	I mean, why not go up, Fauci?
	So I thought I could nudge us up a bit, so I went to 80-85.
	Remember when Paul was talking about herd immunity?
	That's unbelievable.
	With all due respect, Senator, you don't know what you're talking about.
	Really?
	Can kids still catch AIDS from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Box, Fauci?
	But I love that he's just like 17.
	He's like, I don't know, maybe we can negotiate.
	I'm like, I thought this was science.
	I didn't think you negotiated with a virus.
	How about you guys stop, you shut up, the shopping mall opens back up, and I can go to a roly-poly at the food court.
	My point here is it always starts with something small, and we'll progress here in the show so you start seeing kind of what's going on.
	So there was another case here, Cheryl Burke, I guess, Dancing with the Stars.
	Yesterday, we had a list of, I don't know, two dozen celebrities who had breakthrough COVID despite being vaccinated.
	She now announced that even though she's fully vaccinated, she has the COVID.
	I warn you, the video is... it's heart-wrenching.
	Okay, guys, so I have really bad news.
	Yeah?
	I am...
	Positive.
	Which means I have COVID and I just got the news now and I've been anticipating just waiting around for since seven o'clock this morning.
	He's about to make the long walk.
	I just feel like shit to be quite honest.
	It's so overwhelming because it's Sunday and the show's tomorrow but um yeah I figured I should let you guys know since I've been as open and as real and vulnerable as I could be here.
	I just hope I didn't spread it.
	We're talking about the one that has an employee home today with a slight cough and a mild flu that he would take over the normal flu.
	Anecdotal, of course, in statistical reality.
	For most people, particularly young people, just to be very very clear, we're at the point, come on, can we all acknowledge this is ridiculous now?
	It's absolutely, I just, I just She's acting like it's, yeah, an inoperable brain tumor.
	She's like, I just got the worst news.
	Before I realize that in my demographic there's a 0.5% handmaid being hospitalized.
	Okay, look, at a certain point you have to toughen up, sweetheart.
	Gotta update my will.
	She's acting like it's an inoperable brain tumor.
	Yeah, geez lady.
	She's like, I just got the worst news.
	It's like you had to be told you were sick.
	It's like a kid who, you know, scrapes their knee and gets up and is like, oh you're bleeding.
	But here's the thing, she's vaccinated.
	You know, Dave, must be one of those breakthrough cases.
	It's a pandemic, I hear.
	It's a pandemic.
	Very rare.
	It's what I hear.
	This is something else.
	If you've read in other news, Pringles is changing their logo for the first time in 20 years.
	Yeah.
	Mr. P's new design is more of an emoji style.
	Help me hold on To what we had Once our love was strong And it can be again You said it takes two To make love last You were right all along So help me hold on You were right all along
	Help me hold on Help me hold on
	Help me hold on Help me hold on
	Help me hold on Mr. P's new design is more of an emoji style, much simpler
	than the current logo.
	Do you have the passcode?
	I don't know.
	That's great.
	I don't want to do that story.
	Sorry, guys.
	No, we don't.
	It's okay, Dave.
	I've been touched.
	I know.
	Show!
	October 1st, Friday.
	The link is in the description in Pennsylvania.
	Go see Dave.
	He's a sensitive soul, but he's funny.
	Also, this show is a podcast.
	You can subscribe on audio.
	Which I think is probably more appreciated today on Apple, on Spotify, all these places.
	Also, the Android.
	Yeah, not iTunes.
	Not iTunes.
	Just Apple.
	I still remember when it was iTunes.
	Podcast.
	Okay, boomer.
	I'm a millennial.
	Ah, dang it.
	And it's a live show, Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
	Eastern.
	Yes, sir.
	Best thing you can do is smash that like button, comment.
	Okay.
	Here's a story, too.
	You gotta wait for the smash.
	Yeah, smash.
	Smash!
	Smash it.
	Like it.
	Take it out.
	Oh, crushed.
	Like it.
	Take it.
	Take it.
	So, hey, right now, hold on one second, before we move on, Millie, General Millie, is on the TV.
	Again?
	How General Vanillie?
	But it looks like dead General Millie, it's just normal General Millie.
	Yeah, it's just how he looks.
	Did he put on makeup?
	No, no, no.
	Like, he should just be rattling some cupboards.
	This is his time of year, man.
	He loves October.
	I'm a general!
	Shaking the bedpost.
	Just say hi.
	What are all his medals for?
	Uh, well, you know, I guess he earned them, uh, something or other.
	For telling your secrets?
	This is my snitching badge!
	And this one's for treason.
	It's a noose!
	Alright, so look, this was a few days ago and I was reading this.
	The BBC published this article.
	Look at the headline.
	The headline is, in COVID in Wales, a third of positive cases are unvaccinated.
	Wait, that's a strange way to say two-thirds of positive cases are vaccinated.
	It really is.
	They like to pepper up the headline.
	Wait, the vast majority of cases are vaccinated, you say?
	Did you hear me, what I said?
	And by the way, the headline doesn't really make sense.
	You have to read the article because it goes into more detail, and it actually seems like the numbers may not even be accurate in the title, but it says 45% of cases are among the vaccinated, 20% they don't know, but 80% of hospitalized patients in Wales are vaccinated.
	What?
	80% of hospitalized patients are vaccinated.
	And they'll say, well, it's because most of the population is vaccinated.
	It doesn't matter!
	It doesn't matter!
	You don't talk about that with measles, mumps, rubella.
	You don't!
	If the vaccine works, it doesn't matter if 95% of the population is vaccinated and they make up Only 85% of the hospitals!
	It sucks!
	I'm just curious, you just said that one-third were unvaccinated.
	That's confirmed.
	20% are kind of in the wind, we're not sure.
	And you're telling me 80%, that's what matters.
	In the hospital.
	No, 80% are in the hospital with one-third unvaccinated.
	So it doesn't matter if you think your entire country is almost vaccinated.
	They're not, because one-third's not!
	Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
	It does not make any sense.
	It's terrible.
	It's just a very interesting way.
	This is where you have to read articles, and I'll be working on a project to hopefully help people with this.
	Our links are in sources.
	They're all available in the description.
	And look, call me on it.
	Comment if you see a source and you're like, oh, that's probably not the best source, or it's not right, it's not the best reference.
	We have a bibliography every show, 40 to 60 links.
	It's just surprising to me.
	I was reading it.
	At first I was like, well, I guess that, wait a second.
	No, wait, that means, that's just a different way of saying two-thirds, 66% of people in Wales Are vaccinated who have COVID.
	Yeah, it's just peppering it up to make it sound better than it is.
	It's just wordplay.
	It's like 81% of traffic fatalities occur when you're stone-cold sober.
	Right.
	Well, hold on.
	There was 95% of the airplane fuel needed to get Leonard Skinner to their gig.
	Yes!
	Yeah, 10% of Rihanna's face was completely untouched by Chris Brown.
	Robert Wagner, newly single.
	Almost the entire cast of the Crow attended the film premiere.
	Almost the entire cast.
	Almost.
	Minus one incident, Chris Benoit was an amazing husband and father.
	The point is, it's minus one.
	That's the lead here.
	Saddam Hussein has fully cooperated with the international community since December 30th, 2006.
	He was great for a while.
	David Carradine dies doing what he loves.
	He did!
	Most of the time.
	Hey, 11 out of 12 Lakers practice safe sex.
	Well, okay, that's good.
	We're on the right track.
	It's just one third are unvaccinated.
	The Ambrosia Chocolate Company in Milwaukee says almost all of our employees are overwhelmingly not cannibalistic gay necrophiliacs.
	Yes!
	They're getting better.
	No Dahmer anymore, sorry about the bunnies in the 80s.
	JFK retires early.
	The point is with these headlines, you need to know how they're trying to manipulate you.
	One in 7.6... We're still going.
	Why not?
	One in 7.6 billion people get throat cancer from going down on Catharizida Jones.
	One in 7.6 billion, that's higher than I... That's really just more of an excuse, Mr. Douglas.
	Some cigars may have been involved.
	Hey, by the way, no children have accused Michael Jackson of being a sexual rapist pedophile since 2009!
	That is good.
	He's got his 11-year pin.
	Yes, he does.
	It's on Miley's military jacket.
	She'd walk into an Alcoholics Anonymous, and be like, I got my nine-month pin.
	What does that mean?
	I didn't rape a kid.
	I just like cores.
	Yeah, why not?
	I'm a ghost.
	I just drank a little wild turkey to drown out the feeling that my dad never loved me.
	I think we're going to kill you if you're in this group and make it look like an accident.
	Moonwalk out of here.
	One third!
	Wow.
	That's so awesome.
	Also, whales, you still haven't apologized for that.
	More in my head, I'll just tweet later.
	By the way, Wales still hasn't apologized for that bitch in Fraser.
	Where did that accent come from?
	That's just, I don't know what it is, but you still, someone needs to own it.
	Alright, so this is something else that I want to talk about, really, before we get to John Oliver.
	This is really scary, and I want to clarify again how the media is framing this.
	I want you guys to understand out there, look, it's not that the government will always use Their baton to gain power, and they never give it up.
	Joe Rogan was talking about this.
	He was right.
	You caught a lot of flack for it.
	You don't give up power to the government in the pandemic and get it back.
	No.
	Laws typically only grow.
	The pages get more plentiful.
	They get longer.
	Font gets smaller.
	Unless it's the Green New Deal, then they double-space it.
	Size 12.
	Gotta make it five pages.
	Gotta stretch this out.
	Some way, somehow.
	It's a pop-out!
	You had to get 500 words into 9 pages.
	She was following the guidelines for her college persuasive essay.
	That reads like Clifford.
	I like Clifford.
	I did like Clifford.
	He's big and he's red.
	He's a dog.
	He doesn't know he's different.
	It's like the first girl I was with.
	Big and red.
	I don't know what that means.
	That's disgusting.
	I've never judged you more.
	Curvy.
	Curvy.
	Yesterday the vaccine mandate for New York health care workers went into effect.
	Now before I get to what How did she get in there?
	Kathy Hockel? I've only ever read it I've never heard it pronounced because no one voted for her and no one likes
	her.
	So it's just like you know congratulations you're an unelected queen.
	How did she get in there? Was it just they were like he grabbed her ass we should let her be governor?
	I always wonder like if there's a serial sexual harasser.
	Like Meryl Streep. You don't think she turned a blind eye to what happened with Harvey Weinstein?
	No, we know she did.
	We know she did.
	It's like this lady, if she was around Governor Cuomo, who was constantly sexually harassing women, you think she didn't know about it?
	Yeah, of course.
	They're looking to her like, you know, right?
	Right?
	No.
	So uh...
	The way she dresses in that pantsuit?
	You know, it's like she's just using it as protection.
	A sexual calling card.
	So she said that the unvaccinated, before we get to her call yesterday about what she's
	going to do using the military and her executive power to do something unprecedented.
	I wished we were, but I prayed a lot to God during this time.
	And you know what?
	in production, which sort of gives you an idea as to her mindset from a while ago where she said
	that the unvaccinated are not listening to God. Unelected governor of New York.
	We are not through this pandemic. I wished we were, but I prayed a lot to God during this time.
	And you know what? God did answer our prayers. He made the smartest men and women, the scientists,
	the doctors, the researchers.
	He made them come up with a vaccine.
	That is from God to us.
	And we must say thank you, God.
	Thank you.
	And I wear my vaccinated necklace all the time to say I'm vaccinated.
	All of you.
	Yes, I know you're vaccinated.
	You're the smart ones.
	But you know there's people out there who aren't listening to God and what God wants.
	You know this.
	You know who they are.
	I need you to be my apostle.
	I need you to go out and talk about it.
	And say, we owe this to each other.
	We love each other.
	Jesus taught us to love one another.
	How do you show that love?
	But to care about each other enough to say, please get vaccinated because I love you.
	I want you to live.
	I want our kids to be safe when they're in schools.
	I want you to be safe when you go to a doctor's office or to a hospital.
	I wear look everybody look at this shows that I'm back you know what we should have one of these for the unvaccinated or maybe even say these like a patch on the arm like a triangle patch on the arm and you know what maybe two triangles we'll put in two triangles and maybe three triangles so creates like a star I see you're vaccinated he went to Jared So let's be clear, there are 72,000 workers in New York who are unvaccinated, okay?
	Now let's be clear as to why there's a shortage, because this is going to justify her executive action.
	A lot of hospitals, we've talked about this, they were forced to pause elective procedures.
	You know, like heart stints, like hip replacements, like heart valve surgery, mammograms, because you can't get those at Planned Parenthood, they've never actually done them, despite what they've tried to tell you, kidney stone removal.
	Just drink some Dr. Pepper.
	You'll be fine.
	So as a result, 1.4 million healthcare workers were laid off.
	Right?
	Laid off, furloughed.
	You know this.
	Your wife is a nurse.
	Had their hours cut.
	There wasn't a staff shortage because of COVID.
	Let's be very clear.
	You go, well, how was there a staff shortage when they didn't use that ship in New York?
	Well, what happened is they said, hey, we can't do any of the elective procedures.
	So it's just going to be COVID and we don't have enough COVID patients right now.
	So we're going to furlough you.
	We are going to lay you off.
	Just be real.
	Everyone needs to understand that.
	All references available on the website.
	So that sets this up importantly, because there are a lot of healthcare workers, up to one-third, who are unvaccinated, and that should be concerning.
	One-third of people who work in healthcare, the real heroes, remember, refuse to get the vaccine, and so there will be an even worse shortage starting midnight last night, according to the law going into effect.
	That's what justifies what the media is praising, but what, to me, is Look, in all seriousness, one of the scariest moments in modern American history.
	And we'll be nation leading with our mandate, which strikes at midnight tonight when everyone is expected in a hospital in the state of New York or a health care facility to have been vaccinated.
	I will be signing an executive order to give me the emergency powers necessary to address the shortages where they occur.
	That's going to allow me to deploy the National Guard who are medically trained.
	deploy people who've been retired, who may have had a license lapse, bring in people
	Okay.
	from elsewhere. That is not my first position, though, my friends. My desire is to have the
	people who've been out there continue to work in their jobs, working them safely. And to
	all the other health care workers who are vaccinated, they also deserve to know that
	the people they're working with will not get them sick.
	OK, let me be really clear about something here, because the media is trying to paint
	this as, hey, the unelected governor is sending in help to prevent people from getting sick.
	No, let's be really clear here.
	This is a governor abusing her executive power to send in the United States military because she needs to replace nurses who would not comply being forced to take a vaccine with no long-term studies that, by the way, hasn't stopped breakthrough cases.
	Let's be really clear.
	That is terrifying.
	And it starts with things like, oh, well, you know, it doesn't really matter.
	Why do we want to fight about the mask thing?
	Why do we want to fight?
	It's only companies that have 100 employees or more.
	That doesn't affect me.
	Sending in the United States military, because health workers, who, by the way, were heroes, apparently not unless they're twerking on TikTok.
	I don't know the rules.
	I just called them.
	Yep, a year ago.
	Yep.
	Really quickly, Texas attorney, did you see this Mark Metzger?
	Oh wow.
	He was cited for disorderly conduct after he was walking down Galveston Beach dressed as Michael Myers.
	That's, what the- From Halloween?
	And it was, uh, during- Say you were wrong, give her the- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry.
	Nope, none of that.
	Nope.
	Yeah, we don't have to, we don't have to, sorry.
	Yeah, we gotta go.
	Sorry Travis.
	No, that's, you, go!
	Come on, shoot.
	Change the locks.
	Yeah, it's working on it.
	It just, it can't be 5555 anymore in the past.
	That's true.
	Yeah, sorry about that.
	Yeah, no, that really is my fault.
	Yeah, it kind of threw us off.
	Well, we need to be a little, yeah, it threw us off.
	It's a little weird, like the mic's cut out?
	I don't know.
	He broke into my car and was sleeping in it.
	Oh.
	How'd it smell, though?
	He's on the dip again.
	It smells really good.
	Yeah.
	Gotta get him away from Big Chief.
	Alright, let's see.
	Speaking of Big Chief, let's see what's going on.
	Hey, it's the Junk Bond.
	It's the Junk Muppet from Labyrinth.
	Let's see, what are they talking about?
	They were talking about the ability to quarter Black Garrett.
	What were you pointing to on CNN?
	Oh, no, I was just pointing at the gym.
	Oh, okay.
	I thought we were talking about their song.
	No, no new updates.
	Just the junk monster.
	That freaked me out as a kid.
	That movie was terrifying.
	Oh, I went to the Jim Henson experience and I wrote my son and I was going through the labyrinth thing and I was like, this is still terrifying.
	Still terrifying!
	They're throwing their heads at me.
	It's the darkest movie.
	They kidnap, for those who haven't seen Labyrinth, spoiler alert, in the first ten minutes, they kidnap a baby from its own cradle.
	Yeah.
	And David Bowie takes it for some reason.
	Yeah, David Bowie takes it wearing the most enormous codpiece you've ever seen in your life.
	And then he's singing about kidnapping.
	I kidnapped a baby.
	I'll take your baby and throw him to the stars, Jennifer Connelly.
	These are spiders from babies.
	You remind me of the babe that I kidnapped.
	I want the biggest, I want the biggest card piece you have.
	Yes!
	Are you sure this is big enough?
	I don't think my viewers will believe it.
	Dance, card piece dance!
	So, let's go to, speaking of Brits, we'll go to the less favorite, John Oliver.
	Yeah.
	And also, he can't claim he banged Mick Jagger.
	What?
	Wait, what?
	Bowie!
	Bowie did.
	Oh, okay.
	Alright.
	Bowie, come on, it was... I don't know much about David Bowie, alright?
	I just choose not to put that crap in my head.
	What, excellent music?
	No.
	There's a dumbass sitting to my left.
	Ground control's a major asshole.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Which way is left?
	He's sitting in that chair.
	Oh, that's me, okay.
	And he listens to the most peculiar shit.
	I see I stand by my claim.
	All right, well, you're wrong.
	Well, all right, Ziggy star suck.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, I mean, I'll give it to you.
	If you have the dancing in the street video, you win.
	But other than that, they're very good.
	Yeah.
	Have you ever seen that silent?
	No.
	There's a video on YouTube where it's David Bowie and Mick Jagger just doing the video with no music.
	It's the scariest thing.
	Terrifying.
	Well, Labyrinth is terrifying, because you know when you're a kid, right?
	I don't know about you, but I was afraid of the monsters under the bed.
	You turn off the light really quickly, and you run and you jump on the bed, because if you're under the covers, it's safe.
	Only this troupe, this gaggle of satanic muppets show up and steal you from your bed.
	It's your safe place when you're a kid.
	And then the junk muppet lady is showing up in the closet, trying to sell you trinkets that no doubt are probably from China, laced with arsenic.
	Get out of my closet!
	It's a horrifying film.
	They don't make them like that, and that's why kids are pansies and we can't do gender reveals, because they don't have films like Labyrinth now.
	Everything is nerfed.
	Alright.
	It's true.
	Let's move on to John Oliver.
	Okay.
	You know what, I think John Oliver, let me be clear, I think John Oliver compared to Seth Meyers, compared to Stephen Colbert, compared to Trevor Noah, Samantha Bee, is funny.
	He is funny.
	I agree.
	And you guys can comment below.
	I get that he's smug, I get that he's wrong, credit where it's due.
	There are even some funny bits in this video and I encourage you to go watch the whole thing so you know we're not taking it out of context.
	But this is a Brit who's now crossed over, right?
	He's on the other side of the pond over here now, because the only way to be successful is not in, effectively, the semi-quasi-socialist hellhole that is the UK, especially the community.
	You have to come to the United States, but then he wants to tell us how to run things here.
	And of course, he comes to the United States and wants to accuse us of being racist.
	And here's the thing with this one.
	I'm not super impressed.
	Uses the most rudimentary arguments against voter ID laws to try and paint them as racist.
	So I want to go through this video point out sort of the, I guess, intellectual fallacies,
	flaws that are used point by point.
	But before that, I want to show you something.
	This is something you need to understand.
	John Oliver also, it doesn't, this is where he tips his hand here when he talks about
	seatbelt laws.
	He actually thinks that it's ridiculous for a state to not have a seatbelt law.
	Let's just watch this clip before we get to all the ID stuff.
	All those states passed laws that make it harder for people to vote.
	And if anyone is surprised to see New Hampshire up there, let me just remind you, it's a state that's 88% white with a Republican governor and no adult seatbelt law.
	Sure, they present themselves as charming, but deep down they are basically just Florida with foliage.
	That is it.
	Okay, so let me be clear here about something.
	You know, you had rage against the machine.
	We've pointed this out.
	Rock against Bush.
	Punk rock against the system.
	But of course, they were against Bush, but then they started campaigning for Obama.
	Is there anything more machine than campaigning for a president who believes in it?
	But they say, no, no, we're talking about the socialist system, but my body, my choice, right?
	We're still rebels.
	Is there anything less rebellious than supporting the government, forcing you to wear a seatbelt?
	My body, my choice.
	Can you at least admit that people who oppose, for example, abortion up until birth, that there can be an argument, even if you haven't looked into the science of fetal development, that it affects someone else, it is another life, it is another DNA sequence, another heartbeat that is autonomous from you.
	A seatbelt law affects no one else!
	I want to be clear.
	You're an idiot if you don't wear a seatbelt law, if you don't wear a seatbelt.
	I've never ridden my motorcycle without a helmet.
	Helmet laws are stupid.
	That is not the role of government.
	John Oliver, comedy is meant to rebel against the king, right?
	The court jester.
	He is saying...
	Government is daddy.
	Government is your big brother.
	Can you imagine Lenny Bruce getting up there smoking a cigarette?
	Can you believe that there's no seatbelt laws?
	They're just giving him wards after instead of arresting him.
	His punchline actually sounded kind of fun.
	It's like Florida with foliage.
	I'm like, well that sounds quite nice.
	That does sound quite nice.
	But just think about it for a second.
	Can we all agree, if we're going to say my body, my choice, Seatbelt laws should be the first to go.
	And you know why that exists?
	Do you know why seatbelt laws?
	It's like Florida with foliage!
	Do you know why it exists?
	To make the cops more money!
	So they can pull you over!
	Do you realize that in certain precincts across this country, you are better off pulling over ten people for a seatbelt infraction than a rapist because you have more civilian interactions and you generate more revenue.
	Really?
	Remember?
	The police that you say are racist and you hate?
	Hey!
	Hey!
	We need a reason to pull over black people.
	Not saying the police are racist.
	You said that.
	Uh-oh!
	Seatbelt!
	I was wearing my seatbelt, officer.
	Not according to me.
	Can't prove it.
	Yeah.
	I couldn't see it.
	He reached for his buckle.
	Yeah!
	Reached for his buckle!
	Come on, it's a... Terrible.
	It's a 67, uh... I don't know, cars.
	You said there's no seatbelt.
	I know nothing about cars.
	They have seatbelts.
	I don't know what cars do they have aside from the Mustang, and that's just because I saw Bullet.
	Yes.
	Well, there was the mint green, I can't remember what it was, and my cousin Vinny.
	Oh, of course.
	Oh, Buick Skylark!
	Yeah.
	Buick Skylark.
	Yeah, that is a car.
	Yes, that is a car.
	It's a Buick Skylark, there are no seatbelts.
	The point is, you are a quizling.
	You're a patsy for the higher-ups, John Oliver.
	And this sets the tone, because it's not about the vaccine, right?
	They say, well, you're unvaccinated.
	It could affect me.
	OK, so that's your line, right?
	The reason you only support the vaccine mandate is because my actions could negatively affect you.
	It's not my body, my choice, right?
	Even though you have the vaccine, you don't trust it.
	80% of people in Wales, for example, not too far from your home stomping grounds, are vaccinated.
	But you're saying my decision affects you.
	OK, how about seatbelt laws?
	How does that affect you?
	Hmm.
	The point is there is no line.
	No.
	Okay, so now we'll move on here to one other intellectual fallacy which just shows you how disingenuous John Oliver is where he talks about Donald Trump.
	To set this up, right, because it's, look at this, people, seatbelt laws, idiots, Donald Trump, warmonger, racist, right?
	Although one of those things really doesn't fit.
	See if you can catch it.
	Some of the biggest efforts to undermine voting rights have been concentrated in the closest states in last year's election, especially these three, where Biden's combined margin of victory was less than 43,000 votes.
	If they had gone the other way, Trump would still be president right now, meaning COVID would be even worse, we'd be at war with, I don't know, let's say Luxembourg, and we'd all be living under Attorney General MyPillowGuy.
	I know things are bleak right now, but depressingly, it's also important to remember, this is technically the better timeline.
	Okay, Donald Trump is the only president who hasn't started a new war since Jimmy Carter, just to be clear, signed four peace deals in the Middle East, which was unprecedented, you know, contrasted with Joe Biden, who, you know, bombed 10 civilians, including seven children, lied about it.
	So I'm just saying, tomato tomorrow, tomato potato!
	I'm also a little unsure how COVID would respond to his presidency.
	I didn't know COVID would be like, oh, that guy's in office.
	Let's go in and be more effective.
	Well, I don't know.
	You love vaccines.
	Yeah, you have the Trump vaccine.
	He brought in the vaccine.
	Well, he makes the claim and the audience just accepts it.
	COVID would be worse under Donald Trump.
	There would be a war with Luxembourg and COVID would be even more of a pandemic.
	Really?
	Really?
	Does Luxembourg have an army?
	No, Luxembourg is basically a tax haven.
	Luxembourg is the only place in the world with a higher average income than the United States.
	Well then we should invade and take their money!
	Yeah, of course!
	Why aren't we just showing up to their banks?
	Them and the Cayman Islands.
	Just swat a few crocodiles out of the lake.
	Get out of here!
	You've got your banks!
	It wouldn't even take that long.
	Do they even have guns there?
	I don't think so.
	Probably not.
	The Swiss banks.
	The point is, by two o'clock today the United States should own the Cayman Islands, the Swiss banks, and Luxembourg.
	Now we'll get to the meat of this argument that voter ID laws, and this is the whole segment, are racist.
	Because, well, you know what, let's just let John Oliver, the enlightened one, tell us.
	All these states have put harsher voter ID requirements in place, even though federal court cases found black and Latino voters in states with harsh laws disproportionately lacked access to the types of voter IDs required to vote.
	Wrong. When you do read these bills you quickly find some sh** in plain view.
	Wrong.
	I do find some of it in plain view. I don't even think his black fan is buying this.
	You are fake news.
	Well, he needs to cool off in the summer.
	It used to be blue until the junk bond lady reminded me I had a black one, came out of me closet.
	So, let's go through this before, it's wrong, he says they disproportionately don't have ID.
	Let's go through the definition of racism first, to be clear.
	A belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.
	I don't know that saying, hey, flash your ID so we know you're here legally qualifies.
	The same rule should apply to white Americans, black Americans, brown Americans, any.
	Any color.
	Yeah, and I love how he says the required form of ID.
	Oh, you mean a driver's license?
	You mean the thing that you have to have to check out a book or drive a car or, I don't know, get on an airplane?
	Or an ID card or a passport?
	Yeah, there's a lot of options here.
	Which are provided by the government, which I'll get to in a second.
	Well, and North Dakota was highlighted.
	Like, oh yeah, all the black people there in North Dakota.
	There's a couple?
	Yeah, when I think of North Dakota, I think black people.
	And when I think of black people in North Dakota, I think they're really getting skunked and being requested to present identification.
	Yeah, that sucks.
	It's just, I mean, I'm just looking for the hoods.
	I'm gonna guess that they all have ID.
	87% of black people...
	87% of black people, 90% of Latin Americans have some form of confirmed photo ID.
	In Georgia, which I believe he brought up, did he bring that up there, Georgia?
	I don't know.
	97% of registered voters in Georgia have a valid ID.
	Voter ID laws increased turnout, though, in Georgia.
	That's the interesting thing.
	It increased turnout from 2004 to 2008.
	140% increase among Hispanic and Latino voters.
	A 42% increase, since voter ID laws, among black voters, compared to only 8% of whites.
	Let's be clear, because what they're trying to do is compare it again, say, oh, well, in the pandemic, so many more people came out and voted by mail.
	Yeah, that's not how you should vote.
	It's rife with flaws.
	It was meant to be temporary during a pandemic.
	Yeah.
	See a pattern here?
	Temporary, right?
	Temporary during a pandemic.
	We just need to make sure that we can force these vaccines during a pandemic.
	We just need to make sure that we can release them.
	Well, we can just release the National Guard here, basically declare martial law under a pandemic.
	Well, we just need to make sure that we change the entire voter system during the pandemic.
	And now they want that to be the standard moving forward.
	Before the pandemic, the voter ID laws disproportionately benefited voters of color.
	Well, that means it's racist.
	Yes.
	Against white people, only 8%.
	Yeah.
	Whitey deserve it.
	By the way, the majority of black Americans say that you should be forced to present ID to vote.
	Oh.
	Whitey on the moon.
	Let's keep in mind too also 72% of black people in New York City are unvaccinated.
	So are vaccine mandates racist?
	I just want to know.
	I just want to understand the rules, right?
	Governor of New York who's not elected You're the smart ones.
	The stupid ones.
	Oh!
	Hold on a second.
	Do you mean in your state, the largest city in your state, you mean that 72% of black people are dumb because they don't trust you?
	A woman who looks like a white caricature from German folklore tales?
	Yeah, and you're refusing service to those people in restaurants and bars and... It's the new whites only.
	Wait, so you're just basically backdooring keeping black people out of establishments now?
	Yeah.
	Voter ID, disproportionately, up until 2008, all references available, disproportionately in the states they were implemented.
	Increased black and brown voter turnout, just to be clear.
	You have implemented vaccine mandates, vaccine passports that disproportionately affect black people, 72% of black people.
	You're the racist.
	Also, bonus, what you're doing is unconstitutional.
	Hey!
	Next clip.
	None of this is anything new.
	Republicans have been pushing restrictive voting laws for years.
	Back in 2013, North Carolina crafted a law that made it so the only acceptable forms of voter ID were the ones disproportionately used by white people in a bill a federal appeals court later said targeted African-American voters with almost surgical precision, which has to be the second worst context in which to hear that phrase, topped only by surgery.
	Okay, that's funny.
	But it's also very wrong.
	So let's be clear, the states we're talking about, I think it's six states, yes, six states with the strictest ID voter laws, okay?
	They accept or they issue a form of free voter identification.
	Please tell me, I don't understand, how is that white?
	First off, how is a driver's license white?
	And by the way, the reason that they would say it's white is because disproportionately in places like New York City, where a lot of people of color are unvaccinated, they often use public transit.
	However, across the country, where they don't live in huge cities, Black people.
	A driver's license isn't very white.
	I would even argue it's not even very white to ask for a driver's license in Harlem.
	I bought a 32 ounce because I couldn't find a 41 time in Harlem when I went to Dinosaur Barbecue.
	Guess what?
	They asked for my ID.
	And I was surrounded by black people.
	Yeah, you have to have a license to be able to drink.
	They looked angry with me.
	Shouldn't wear flip-flops.
	Well, white people do get a white license.
	I don't know if you guys forget that.
	So a driver's license is racist, and so is free ID that anyone can get from the government.
	The point here is not to burden people with costs.
	It's silly.
	If you know what it costs to get ID, it's a non-argument.
	There's also free ID from the government.
	It is very clear the intent here, just to make sure that, like you said, We're saying the same thing here.
	Talking about the margin of error, you talked about Arizona, Wisconsin, right?
	42,000, I think, votes, he said.
	And we're saying the exact same thing!
	We're going, yeah, absolutely!
	You don't have voting requirements that are strict enough to make sure that illegal immigrants don't vote.
	That steals the vote away from a legal citizen, including, by the way, a black American citizen.
	That's what the majority of black Americans support voter ID laws.
	Let's be clear about this.
	Let's go on to the next clip where now he makes the argument that because of uneven distribution, this is the old, right, this is the old not equality, equity argument means that it's some kind of discrimination.
	Brenovich versus DNC essentially found that even if a voting restriction has a discriminatory impact, that in itself doesn't necessarily violate the Voting Rights Act.
	Those two decisions basically made it easier for some states to pass discriminatory laws, while at the same time making it much harder for anyone to challenge them.
	Okay, is anyone buying this shit?
	Can you just comment below?
	Is anyone buying this?
	Is this convincing?
	Like, I will watch and go, oh, that's a pretty good argument.
	You can hear it from someone.
	Someone like a Noam Chomsky, right, sometimes.
	Sometimes even someone like a Rachel Maddow.
	I watch it and I'm like, holy, okay, how would I argue against that?
	Not this!
	These decisions, and therefore there are some more black people who don't have votes.
	Uh, court case which I don't understand.
	Uh, yeah!
	But he cited it.
	So that was nice of him.
	The first court case was saying that you didn't have to run your laws by the federal government.
	That was the one he didn't cover in the clip that we showed there.
	He covered it just a little bit more.
	Which, by the way, Democrats actively support because they don't want some kind of federal statute when it comes to voting laws.
	Let's be really clear because that's been proposed by some conservatives, which I oppose.
	Yeah, but he didn't even get into that, and then the comment that he makes is like, even if it has a disproportionate effect, okay, John Oliver, the only thing you're focusing on is expanding the number of people voting, which is not all bad, but here's the problem.
	You want to make sure it's secure first.
	Yes.
	That's what you have to do first.
	I want people to vote, I just don't want people who aren't American people to vote.
	You know, like Russians, like you said in 2016.
	Or Canadians, for four years straight.
	I think anyone should vote.
	It's a human right.
	No people...
	Are illegal.
	Wait, we're talking about voting.
	Sorry, I forgot my catchphrase!
	Some people are illegal.
	It's Trevor Noah's whole thing.
	Yes, yes!
	By the way, again, going back to the vast majority of black Americans support some kind of voter ID law, okay?
	So they disagree with you.
	This is another example of a white person, of a white person, a very white person, saying that they speak for black people.
	You don't speak for black people.
	Listen, black people don't want voter ID!
	It's just some guy going, hey!
	Shut the fuck up!
	Hey, they don't want to!
	They think it's racist!
	Amen!
	No.
	I'm just so tired of white people.
	Red coat's on, man!
	Seriously, they don't agree with you!
	They don't.
	But he speaks for them, Stephen, so they have to.
	Otherwise, they ain't black.
	Can I say this?
	Anyone here know about the tension between the black community and Latino Americans?
	Do people know about that?
	That black Americans aren't really thrilled with illegal immigration?
	For them, again, if this is a big reason that record numbers of black people voted for Donald Trump because it affects them directly as it results to employment?
	So you're probably not speaking for the Mr. Liverpool.
	Alright, here's another one where he talks about how Republicans are fear-mongering because we haven't seen that through this clip in Pushing Voter ID Laws.
	I will say, despite the fact state and local officials found the last election to be the most secure in American history, the truth is many Republicans don't trust the system.
	But the reason for that might be that people like Dan Patrick spent all of last year calling voting by mail a scam by Democrats to steal the election and saying shit like this.
	Look, when you have an opportunity to steal a vote, the Democrats will take advantage of it.
	You can swing the balance easily, Ed.
	I could give you 10 scenarios, but I won't because I don't want to give anyone ideas how you could easily steal thousands of votes.
	Oh, come on, Dan.
	I mean, I don't really care what Dan Patrick says.
	I don't even get that one.
	It was Dan Patrick or Danica Patrick.
	Well.
	Something about cars with her, right?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Not a lot of winning, but a lot of driving.
	Did she drive a Scarlacc?
	She was good, though.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Buick.
	Buick, yeah.
	I'm in the loop.
	So, he says, it's the most secure in American history.
	Well, we can just say, I can say things, too.
	Like, I can say you speak for black people.
	It doesn't mean it's right!
	And let's be clear, that was not what many Democrats were saying, right?
	Who?
	Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren, Jimmy Carter?
	They all warned about the fact that it was one of the greatest national security threats to our election.
	And even Norm Macdonald, we talked about this.
	Remember, he nailed it.
	He was on a show and he said, we ran the clip.
	I think you can find it on CrossFit.
	He said, of course, you know, when Donald Trump talked about Democrats rigging the election in 2016, I said, there was no way that could happen.
	But of course, you're saying the exact opposite now.
	Exactly!
	Really?
	It was the most secure in American history?
	So for some reason, we believe the left, who were saying 2016 was rigged, the Russians, $10,000 in Facebook ads.
	Okay, we get it.
	They say, when we take the exact same parameters that we had in 2016, increase them to unprecedented voting by mail, however, well, we've smoothed over the wrinkles.
	By the way, you're inferring that every other election previously held had some degree of insecurity to it.
	More so than this one!
	Even, of course, they always say that about elections that they don't remember.
	George Bush with Florida?
	Yeah.
	People don't realize this about Florida.
	No, no.
	Al Gore wanted to count three counties in Florida in the recount.
	George Bush was like, well, how about you count the whole state?
	He was like, no, no, no, no, no, let's just count three counties.
	No, just three.
	Go back to your Swedish masseuse, Al, and your seat at Apple.
	The point is, they always complain about elections they don't win.
	Case in point, Hillary Clinton, I think this is in 2018?
	Yes.
	Talking about the election before the most secure in history.
	Some tax experts in Silicon Valley with whom I have met who say that maybe what they'll do this next time is to really disrupt the actual election.
	Shut down the servers that you send results to.
	Interfere with the operation of voting machines because still too many of them are linked to the internet.
	So we are still very vulnerable.
	Yeah, we'll go right back to that because that is actually, here's the thing, at first you're like, oh, Hillary.
	Stab her with a diazepam pen.
	Like the guy in 310 to Yuma.
	Gonna hang me in the morning.
	The point is, stops the seizures.
	Then she was right!
	There were machines hooked up to the internet!
	Oh, what?
	I was told that's not possible by the guy.
	It's not possible, I know, because you're listening to the Brit.
	What?
	You don't listen to him.
	He's the most secure... Most secure election in history.
	81 million votes.
	There's no discrepancy.
	No, and breakthrough cases are rare, Dave.
	I understand that it's a pandemic.
	It's a pandemic, the breakthrough cases, but very rare.
	Both things are true.
	Uh, real quick.
	What?
	Check that out.
	So this is kind of big news right now.
	This actually goes against exactly what Joe Biden was saying about leaving troops.
	It says that his generals were telling him to actually leave some troops behind.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	You think John Goodman's gonna play him in the movie?
	Well, he's gonna have to drop a few and also paint his face gray.
	He's gonna have to use, like, a charcoal lens filter.
	No, Goodman's, uh, he's lost some weight.
	Oh, has he?
	Yeah, I guess when you sell out the star of the show that broke you, you drop a few pounds.
	That makes sense.
	That's just his soul leaving his body.
	I think that's gonna be kind of a big deal as we keep going.
	Yeah, let's go back to it.
	Now, let's go back to John Oliver.
	We have to kind of clip along.
	Sorry.
	No, no, don't worry.
	I want you to come in.
	I want to hear more of this just riveting...
	I want to pour more bleach in my eyes, sir.
	Stay awake, Dave.
	Astonishing.
	I'm awake.
	Republican, no, it's tough for all of us here, but this is, we need, look, and I want you to have all the references available in the link below.
	Link below.
	You also have the tickets to Dave's show on October 1st.
	Here he makes the next claim that Republicans use baseless claims of voter fraud, and of course that's not true.
	One of them involves the computers being hooked up, the systems being hooked up to the internet, as Hillary Clinton specified.
	But you know, let's let John Oliver make his argument.
	And local election supervisors themselves will tell you that these bills make no sense.
	The Florida Supervisors of Elections strongly opposed their state's new bill, with one Republican supervisor telling a reporter, it's stupid, okay?
	It was a solution looking for a problem.
	but it's actually one step worse than that because these are solutions to problems that have been
	deliberately and strategically manufactured. And it's pretty obvious here use bullsh** claims to
	stir up baseless fear to pass unnecessary restrictions targeting particular groups.
	Yeah because you can't stand unnecessary restrictions Mr.
	Seatbelt Law. Unbelievable.
	That's like saying, hey, don't put the plexiglass up that's bulletproof in the bank.
	This bank has never been robbed before.
	This is a problem that doesn't exist.
	Honey, don't carry a gun because you've never been raped before.
	Don't install a security system in your house because we've never had anybody break into this house before.
	It's not like these things haven't happened in history.
	So John Oliver saying this is a problem or a solution looking for a problem, you're wrong.
	It isn't.
	You protect against problems that you know are possible.
	Okay?
	That's a very good point.
	Only one fatal flaw in your argument.
	A little angry.
	All those things actually happened.
	Yeah, the bank was robbed, the woman was raped, and the house got broken into.
	Georgia!
	Their Secretary of State, Brad Rassenberger, our favorite, he said that some 1,000 residents voted twice in the state's 2020 June primary.
	So let's be clear, these are things before the election.
	I'm giving you some examples before this election, because we're not allowed to talk about this election.
	Safest, most secure in history, right?
	We all agree on that.
	Happened in New Jersey as well.
	In 2020, a judge ruled and ordered a new election after a city councilman was charged with fraud.
	In 2019, a new election was held in North Carolina's 9th district due to abnormalities in the absentee vote totals and allegations of ballot harvesting.
	I'm not talking about anything in the most secure election in history.
	We'll get to the Arizona audit in a second.
	Come at me, bro!
	But these are all things that happened before.
	Clark County, Nevada.
	A local election of just 153,000 votes was thrown out due to a large number of discrepancies.
	153,000 votes?
	Well, I think that's what the K means after 156.
	Those are good reasons.
	What was the discrepancy?
	Trump was elected on it?
	Yeah.
	This isn't going to work.
	People are morons.
	That's an error.
	Oh, this one?
	Ah, trash.
	Trash.
	Trash.
	By the way, in California during the primary of the election, more than 100,000 mail-in ballots were rejected.
	What?
	Didn't happen in the general election, though.
	No.
	Is that even possible?
	I think it was 27,000 rejected because the signatures didn't even match the voter, or there was no signature at all.
	Well, let's go to our other favorite state, New York.
	Six weeks after June 2020 election, two congressional seats still had not been decided.
	These guys are efficient and good, plus over 250,000 voters in New York.
	Could be illegal or using false social security numbers.
	Okay, well let's be careful with that because now we're going through all the problems that could lead up to the most safe and secure election.
	We wouldn't want to talk about that.
	They fixed it all.
	But at least 50,000 of those illegals lived next door to me in Harlem.
	Yes.
	I mean one apartment.
	And sold you sombreros for Taco Tuesday until John Oliver said, that's offensive!
	Yep, they did.
	It was a nacho sombrero.
	Where'd he put the tacos?
	Are you wearing a poncho and a sombrero?
	That's cultural appropriation!
	Who do you think sold it to me, you limey?
	So is you pretending to be American.
	Every time I've purchased a sombrero, and I've purchased quite a few.
	I've done it my day.
	It has been sold to me by a Mexican.
	Well I see him, you know, in Texas wearing sun sombrero hats when they're working outside.
	That's from the SkyMall catalog.
	That is, yeah.
	From the Jay Peterman.
	The very sombrero he had tried on.
	Yes!
	Elaine!
	I find myself in the rainy street.
	All right.
	These are the stories, Elaine Sombreros.
	As I fall under the spell of Now he goes on to say that the Arizona audit, and this is something that's, they're banking on you not looking at the audit.
	And I want to be very clear, the only things that I will talk about in this audit are things that can be found in the report, information publicly available.
	I guess it didn't show up at Slate and Salon, which are sources that John Oliver uses unironically, but he goes on to just claim that the Arizona audit Show no issue.
	Just look what happened this week!
	The nonsense audit in Arizona came to a humiliating conclusion that failed to show yet again that Trump was cheated of victory, but its organizers still recommended the legislature tighten up the election process to provide additional certainty going forward.
	Because of course they f***ing did!
	It's all a shameless attempt to get to the same place.
	Okay, so let's be clear.
	The leftist media is saying that the recount, and by the way, I know that people, ooh, we can't talk about this.
	No, we should be able to talk about the report.
	It was on the news, and the left doesn't want you to read the report.
	It's like, one third, one third of Wales COVID patients are unvaccinated.
	Wait, what happened to the two thirds?
	Don't do that.
	Don't think about it.
	They made a recommendation, but they couldn't officially change the vote.
	However, right?
	It didn't match the 2020 numbers, let's be really clear.
	57,000 ballots had potential issues.
	Wow.
	So let's go through some of this to be really clear.
	Is that fewer or more than Donald Trump lost by?
	Significantly more than the margin of error.
	I just needed to make sure.
	Significantly more than the margin of error.
	But again, a big reason is they can't, well, we can't confirm exactly what these discrepancies are because why?
	Well, think about it.
	Democrats sued to stop the audit.
	So that was a little bit of a roadblock.
	Right.
	That's a little weird.
	Why would you do that?
	The Maricopa County Election Board and Dominion refused subpoenas.
	Oh, so.
	Things like envelopes with signatures for mail-in ballots, routers, passwords, login information.
	Let me ask you this.
	Could you refuse a subpoena?
	You've done some time.
	Could you refuse a subpoena?
	Subpoena?
	Oh, so subpoena.
	Yeah, we're off the flue.
	Sorry, I heard it differently.
	No and no.
	No, no.
	But they don't I don't play by the rules.
	I didn't know I could do it.
	When Dominion did that, I thought, wait, you can do that?
	It's like, all right, subpoena, you have to give her this information, you have to give her what?
	Like, well, routers, passwords, logins to make sure that none of these machines were connected to the internet, right, like Hillary Clinton talked about?
	And Dominion just goes, no.
	You can do that?
	Okay.
	No, no, no.
	They can do that.
	So, 239,000 ballot images were corrupted files entered after November 1st, 2020.
	This is in the report.
	So half of the images after November 1st are corrupted.
	That's insane.
	21,273 scanned ballot images are missing.
	Wait a minute.
	Just missing.
	Hey, Dominion, can you tell us why these are missing?
	We dropped them off in Detroit?
	That's a real wet wagon!
	So what is it?
	You can't confirm the... So what happens is they say, look, you have these discrepancies, but you can't confirm the totals in the voting machines.
	You can't confirm the scammed images.
	You can't confirm the physical paper ballots.
	This is... There's no way to make that argument.
	That's incredible.
	It means you can never actually fully audit an election and come to any kind of understanding if anything happened.
	It's a bad system.
	And machines have been... There's this... What was it called?
	Kill... Kill Chain!
	On HBO, to be really clear.
	There's a, before the 2020 election, it was Kill Chain, and this guy talked about how elections could be easily hacked, how insecure they are.
	He didn't know what he was making, because now he's a liberal, but he actually hacked the Georgia voting machines in real time.
	You can watch him do it.
	He went to like this, this whatever, NerdCon thing where these computer hackers hack it and say, oh yeah, it's really easy, I just switch these vote totals.
	How?
	The machines are connected to the internet, intermittently.
	And he proved that.
	That's something that, of course, happened this election.
	Well, they're never connected to the internet.
	Well, yes, they are.
	So, this is something that's relevant.
	We're not saying that you're going to find 57,000 votes that all read, you know, Hillary Clinton.
	We're just saying that there's no way to know when you refuse subpoenas.
	There's no way to know when files are corrupted.
	There's no way to know when you have these discrepancies.
	And they just say, well, we're not going to give you the info.
	No logins, no router info, passwords, handing over computers.
	Nothing.
	And you know what he also did?
	Go and watch this documentary.
	It's fascinating.
	He took a card.
	He hacked a card.
	What, the kill chain?
	Yeah, kill chain.
	Put the card in the machine and then said, hey, go vote and tell me what you voted.
	He flipped all of the votes by having that card entered first.
	Right.
	He literally was able to do that live on camera to a voting board to show them how much they had a problem.
	It was this Swedish guy.
	Was he Swedish or he was Norwegian?
	Something like that.
	Something like that.
	One of those countries, Nordic, and he was, elections are not safe, they're very easy to hack, and look, I hacked Georgia, and look, I hacked this election and it was connected to the internet in this car, and you're like, oh, 2020, or whatever, it's safe, you know.
	You don't have to think about it.
	And then HBO, it's like, they couldn't be faster in removing it from Suggestive.
	Oh, I know, right?
	Oh, I'm sure, yeah.
	It was like the top three documentaries for a long time, and then it's like, whoop, nope, not anymore.
	Do you want to watch Girls?
	No!
	Seth Meyers?
	I'd rather watch David Bowie's copy.
	Lena Dunham.
	How does so much pretty get in one person?
	Well, she just made one man very lucky.
	She just got married.
	Oh, did she really?
	Please.
	She's off the market.
	Really?
	Yes, she's unavailable.
	I know.
	Well.
	There goes my plan.
	Foiled yet again.
	Plan to loiter around Talbots.
	Plan to walk outside and say, put your clothes on.
	Ruining swimming for everyone.
	My kid just threw up.
	We'll get back to the buoyancy issue.
	Here's his next point.
	We have to end the filibuster.
	What does it have to do with?
	Alright, let's hear his argument.
	Mitch McConnell has announced that he will filibuster any attempt to get either of those acts passed.
	So, if we want to protect the ballot, Which we absolutely should.
	We need to end the filibuster.
	Did he just say he wants to protect the ballots?
	He did.
	You sure want people to have identification.
	Okay, they just want to do away with the filibuster to ram through any unconstitution.
	You know, the kind of crap that goes through in your country.
	The kind of crap that goes through in Australia.
	Historically, Democrats have loved the filibuster.
	They use the filibuster longer than anyone in history.
	Why?
	To continually oppose the Civil Rights Act that was pushed and voted on by Republicans.
	60 days?
	60 day filibustering.
	Very passionate about that.
	You had Robert Byrd, who was fourth in line for the presidency and used the n-word on live television three times in a row in 2004.
	Oh boy.
	Guy had clandental and a company car.
	And then there's Strom Thurmond, who people say, look, oh, this is the big switch.
	So Democrat at the time, Strom Thurmond, he holds the record for longest filibuster in history, I believe the second is Robert Byrd, both against the Civil Rights Act, okay?
	It was for 24 hours and 18 minutes.
	Wow.
	That's a long time.
	And then you have, yeah, Robert Byrd here, 14 hours.
	Jeez.
	14 hours.
	They really didn't want black people to vote.
	Robert Byrd.
	He went a day without taking a seat, without using the restroom, and without eating food or drinking water to make sure black people couldn't vote.
	Yes, and to be clear, this is something, too, that people often use.
	They go, well, actually, the party switched.
	Really?
	Because Robert Byrd's still a Democrat.
	They go, oh, there are a lot of examples.
	OK, name me one.
	You're going to say Strom Thurmond?
	I bet you're going to say Strom Thurmond.
	They go, oh, Strom Thurmond, this is something they don't tell you.
	Strom Thurmond became a Republican when he developed a relationship with God and realized that he was wrong about his racist ways.
	And he was actually the first senator in the South to actually hire black aides, put people into his senatorial equivalent of a cabinet.
	Well, that's good.
	So when you look at it, voting against the Civil Rights Act as a Democrat, very racist as a Democrat, then there's the flash of genius moment, the conversion, Republican starts hiring black people.
	I'm sure his pet names for them weren't the nicest, but baby steps.
	That's true.
	And he didn't like them near his pool.
	That was a big thing for him.
	As a Democrat.
	As a Democrat.
	We need to be clear about it.
	Because people just go, oh he switched.
	What's the only one they can point to?
	Yeah.
	He became a better person when he switched.
	That's the whole point.
	Ebenezer Scrooge felt as light as a feather.
	Mary's a schoolboy.
	The ending matters!
	Okay.
	Then you have in 2010, Bernie Sanders, he filibustered a bipartisan tax cut deal for eight and a half hours.
	Well, he hates it if you get to spend your own money.
	They just, look, they want you all to think that there's fraud where there is no fraud, and they want you to believe that the filibuster is some kind of Republican game of mind control, just like the hippies who believe the same thing about deodorant, when the fact is, they're the ones who used it the most, they used it for the most amount of time, the longest amounts of time.
	Yeah, and you want the filibuster to stay around.
	You do not want things going through on a 51-49 vote that are this consequential, okay?
	You want it both ways.
	Republicans, you don't want to get rid of it.
	Even when we were in power, we shouldn't have been talking about getting rid of it at all, right?
	You want that there to make sure you don't get run roughshod over because everybody votes party line now.
	It sucks, okay?
	Don't say to get rid of it.
	I don't think hippies use soap.
	No, they don't.
	It's a government form of mind control, bruh.
	Soap is?
	Use the crystal deodorant.
	What?
	The crystal stick deodorant.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	MKUltra, man.
	Gotta wet it before.
	Alright.
	I can't stand them.
	Long hair.
	They're in power now.
	No one liked hippies, by the way.
	The 70s and 60s were not nearly as filthy as people believe when they look back.
	It's just the media had a love, a romantic infatuation with hippies.
	Most Americans were tired of them, thought they were filthy, disgusting, and wanted to go back to class.
	Just the media.
	It was Haydash, Berry, and Woodstock.
	Those were your hippies.
	Yeah, those were your hippies.
	And by the way, most people were like, ugh, they're screwing in the mud.
	Ooh, the golden years!
	No, look, most Americans...
	We're being productive.
	Yeah.
	You were screwing in the mud.
	In a field and you didn't even bring food.
	We have to have us bring it in for you.
	Mushrooms.
	Our generation of Woodstock 99 was like, hey, let's set this on fire.
	Let's destroy everything.
	It's really not all that different.
	Just breaking laws.
	There were a lot of rape at the original Woodstock that people didn't want to talk about.
	Me too.
	Sexual liberation.
	What do you think happens when you're all naked in the mud and on drugs?
	Now you're surrounded by gentlemen.
	The best concert ever, that's what happened, Stephen.
	Yeah, the best concert ever.
	I just tell my uncles to stop.
	Here's another where he uses John Oliver, uh, 2018, what, uh, Commission on Civil Rights?
	I don't know.
	Let's see what this next clip is.
	It's, uh, not convincing.
	If you do actually read these bills, you quickly find they absolutely make it harder to vote, and particularly for certain people.
	So tonight, we thought we would take a look at the attack on voting rights and how best to fight it.
	And let's start with what is in these bills, because it's a lot.
	For instance, in Texas, where remember that claim, you can't find a single instance of
	voter suppression.
	One thing that bill does is roll back a lot of the innovative measures put in place during
	the pandemic that made voting more accessible.
	Among other things, it gets rid of 24 hour and drive-thru voting, both methods that Harris
	County implemented last year.
	And as the county clerk who oversaw that election points out, when you look at the precincts
	where those methods were most popular, it's clear that the harm is pretty targeted.
	Why are we taking 24-hour voting away?
	Because 56% of voters in November who used 24-hour voting were people of color.
	And they know that.
	Why are we taking drive-thru voting away?
	Because 53% of those voters in 2020 were people of color.
	Yeah, it's pretty obvious who is being targeted there.
	Okay, let's be really clear here.
	Not only is it a matter of half, and they'll say, but as a percentage of the population, keep in mind they say people of color, so they're talking about all people of color.
	Right.
	In this report, I believe it includes blacks, Latin Americans, and I believe Asians as well.
	That's why drive-by voting is also... Right, yes, exactly.
	I read it wrong, so...
	I thought we was doing something else.
	Michael Douglas shows up, takes some shooting lessons, that's all.
	So, here's something that's important here.
	If it's 50, you said 52 percent I believe, right?
	53.
	53 percent were people of color.
	Here's the thing, doesn't matter if it's half, doesn't matter if it's not half, it comes down to what's right.
	Now look, if that 47 percent who are not people of color, let me ask this, are their votes in any way, the people who did not do drive-thru voting, the people who registered, the people who went through the process, right, the most secure process that we have, which of course is not mail-in voting, Is there any world in which their votes negatively impact the 53?
	The legitimacy of the votes.
	I'm not talking about who they vote for, even though you don't like it.
	I'm saying is there any way that those votes steal those votes?
	No?
	Okay.
	When we're talking about mail-in voting, when we're talking about no-voter ID, is there any way in which that 53% of voters of color could negatively impact, could take away the legitimate votes of the 47%?
	Yes!
	Hey, wait a second, Mr. Sheetbelt Law.
	We're now talking about protecting the rights of individuals to not be infringed upon by someone else, including the sanctity of the vote.
	Just ensuring that it is legal, that it is fair.
	Let's also be clear about this.
	The report that he's referencing in this video suggests that convicted felons are votes That need to be counted and that felony disenfranchisement is evidence of racism.
	The presumption there is that most felons are black people.
	Now we can talk about statistical realities, but the problem is you will say that it's racist until you're trying to vote Harvest.
	Exactly, right?
	And you don't have the right not to get out of your car to vote.
	You also think about 24-hour voting.
	You have to staff that, right?
	So that's expensive to have people there.
	And then poll watchers who typically, you know, sleep and have jobs to go to aren't able to go there.
	You just board up the voting precinct and kick them out.
	Well, that's true, so they don't get to watch the vote at all.
	Look, here is my point.
	There's no suggestion that is made by John Oliver to ensure the legitimacy of the vote.
	He just says, this is racist, that's racist, disenfranchising.
	Okay, look, how do you make sure?
	You're just saying it's the safest and most secure.
	How do you make sure that Americans who vote know that their vote is counted legitimately and that it's not canceled out by someone here illegally?
	How do you know that's the case?
	How do you ensure that's the case with no voter ID?
	How do you ensure that's the case with no voter ID?
	Because it's racist, even though a vast majority of black Americans disagree with you, white savior, and they all have voter ID by a significant majority.
	I think it was 87% I just talked about, 90% of people of color in general.
	How do you ensure that the black people's votes in the United States who want voter ID, Who want to make sure that their votes count.
	By the way, who came out in higher numbers for Donald Trump because they're more enthusiastic.
	They're taking more of an active role in the election process right now.
	How do you ensure that they trust the vote?
	You're just talking about ways, you're just suggesting ways to make sure that they don't.
	So allow me to offer a suggestion here, and everyone out there, it's really simple.
	How do you ensure the legitimacy of the vote?
	Voter ID!
	That's the fastest way!
	Voter ID, and outside of a pandemic, which is what we were told, the only... We were told it was the only reason that that's why we are doing this mail-in voting and drive-thru voting.
	If you can't trust drive-thru to get your fillet of fish right, maybe electing the leader of the free world should go another direction.
	The easiest way is starting with voter ID.
	And how do you make this case?
	Look at the references.
	Make it very clear to people.
	The majority of people of color in this country support it.
	The majority of, I guess, I guess white as a shade support it, and the majority of all Americans here, who are here legally, support it and believe that it is the first step to ensure there is no disenfranchisement of the vote, period.
	John Oliver doesn't want you to know it.
	He offers no solutions.
	And you know what?
	Hey, I'm like John Oliver, you want to confirm this?
	We have the references?
	Go talk to a black guy!
	There's an 87% chance that he'll say, no I need a vote, you retarded!
	Because they don't play PC, right?
	They use those words.
	I would never use those words.
	I'm just saying, I can't judge the culture that may use words that you find offensive.
	It's not for me to say that it's offensive, because I'm not a body saver like John Oliver.
	OK, YouTube, thank you very much.
	You have to go.

▲