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Sept. 16, 2020 - Louder with Crowder
33:37
Do Politics Matter in Relationships? | Ash Wednesday
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Time Text
Subject for today.
Yeah, I do love this cigar.
Hold on a second.
Someone else start talking because I realize the band is on here.
It's morning and I don't want people to know my favorite cigar because there's a shortage.
Oh my gosh.
So, uh, hello Ash... It's too late.
It was on camera.
Michael Knoll has already taken the phone.
You can't see that.
Don't know nothing about this.
Welcome to Ash Wednesday.
I'm not going to give you my favorite cigar because it's all for me.
Half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond is here.
Reg is here in studio.
Thank you.
Audio Wade.
Quarterback Garrett.
This is where you can send your requests to us at lotto.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.
Of course.
Someone up there in the duck blind, I don't know, was like, yep.
Thank God for Spotify podcast.
That Rogan showed him who's boss.
That was my shitty duck call.
And now they're mad.
I can't do it.
Well it's great for our topic today because I know our first question is everyone's favorite impression of duck calls.
Great lead-in.
And that's just where mine is where I do my impression of Duck Dynasty and I condemn the homosexuals.
I'm joking.
He didn't really condone it.
He just said it was gross.
This is, of course, Many People Have Forgotten, Officer David Dorn, who was killed serving his community in the riots.
We didn't, so you can buy this shirt at louderthepowdershop.com and every nickel, every dime, every loonie, every toonie, every peso will go to the family of David Dorn to hopefully help support him.
Because a lot of these people, you know, they're forgotten.
This is one thing the left does really well.
They remember a lot of people, often false heroes, whether it's people like Mike Brown or, you know, a lot of these people in the Black Lives Matter movement, and then we sort of find out what actually happened and they just sort of deify the person regardless of actions.
This was a good man.
This was a man who served his community.
This was a man who There was no reason for him to die, and I think, from what we know, pretty good role model.
Also, hit the notification bell because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot, and you can subscribe on the iTunes.
Is that it?
Yes, the iTunes.
Some kind of Apple podcast.
Some kind of musical singing robot.
I don't know, but when you hit subscribe, Elon Musk hits a blunt.
Whoa!
I don't know.
What's the pairing of the week?
The pairing of the week is...
LFD.
Anniversio and Makers 46.
Anniversario.
I'm not ethnic.
You're a horrible Mexican.
It's not very good at it.
What was that?
I don't know.
What were you doing?
You were doing the skipper?
My pairing is espresso with Jameson.
It is early.
That sounds absolutely terrible.
Well thank you for your pairing.
That's LaFleur Dominicana.
I know that Rush Limbaugh and Dennis Prager both really like LaFleur Dominicana.
It's not really my speed.
I don't tend to like Dominican tobacco a whole bunch.
My speed?
Speed.
Sometimes I like a speed ball.
I'm dragging myself into deep waters because I don't know what a speedball is.
Is it methamphetamine with?
Is it coke with?
I think it's coke and heroin, right?
Is it?
Really?
No, it's one of those things you put into the dryer so your clothes can dry.
Oh, I thought that was a ShamWow.
I use that very improperly.
I was so distracted by the ambassador that I was putting Shamwells in the dryer!
Soaked up all the moisture.
They're not dryer sheets.
I should have known better, Shamwell.
Let's go to our first question.
Again, lotto.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.
I don't understand.
I like I like saying it like I'm a bird waiting to be fed by my mother
That's getting photoshopped oh boy. Yeah, just say I'm Garrett
Agua.
So water.
Water is your favorite.
Yeah, I'm going water as well.
The only reason I learned it was because my friend was Hispanic.
His child speaks Spanish and kept demanding agua and he was completely just neglected.
Oh, that sounds funny.
The kid was dehydrated.
Like, aah, aah, like, aah, like, aah, I don't know what he's, like, baby talk.
Aah, aah, aah.
But you know what? He's fine now.
Instead he got some Topo Chico, my favorite non-alcoholic drink.
Typically water.
I do like Topo Chico.
Topo Chico's really good.
Really good.
Clear.
And then as far as sodas, part of my routine in the morning is when I have my Black Rifle Coffee, of course, BlackRifleCoffee.com's Last Crowder.
I love the Black Rifle Coffee.
It is what I drink every morning.
I'll often have one of those small 7-ounce Coke Zeros.
And in here I have a Dr. Pepper 10.
I find that diet sodas aren't really great.
Dr. Pepper diet soda though.
Is it?
The 10 is better.
It tastes like normal Dr. Pepper.
And then my favorite treat is, I think I had some with you, Sprecker's from Wisconsin.
Going back to the Wisconsin hunting crowd.
Sprecker's Low Calorie Root Beer.
That was pretty tasty.
That's up on my list now.
Root beer doesn't need to be that sweet.
It already has a bunch of herbs.
A lot of earthy tones.
A lot of herbs.
So I'm gonna ask this.
I actually have a number of non-alcoholic drinks that I like, but it's dependent on location.
So for example, I will never buy ginger ale or apple juice, but if I'm staying at a hotel and I go to breakfast in the morning, I always drink apple juice if it's available.
And when I'm on a plane, I will always drink ginger ale.
You drink ginger ale whiskey on a plane.
I usually actually get them separate.
And I will drink the whiskey first, then another, then usually another, then I'll drink the ginger ale.
But for some reason, I don't know why, and I know a lot of people who do ginger ale on the plane only.
I don't know about the apple juice thing, it probably is weird.
I don't know if, like, contextually... I don't know.
He's reverting to a state of childhood.
Reverting?
He's going to Apple Juice.
You know what's funny?
Ginger ale and bourbon.
I've never really been hungover.
I don't really drink to get drunk, but once I did accidentally have way too much to drink.
It was the Mitt Romney-Barack Obama debates.
I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
I had the worst sore throat.
I had a friend who made me, like, a hot toddy.
And then he said, I was like, that's a lot of work right now, and I'm exhausted.
He said, well, you know, try some bourbon and ginger ale.
So I got a big bottle of Evan Williams, I was watching those debates, and I had no idea as to size.
I'm a beer guy.
So I was putting, I had like a pint glass, and I was, like a tulip pint glass, I was putting probably about six ounces of Evan Williams, and then ginger ale, I had like four or five.
And I just had a really bad headache.
You know, at that point I wasn't very clear-headed.
The next morning I felt fine, but I've never had Evan Williams since.
Wow.
That's good.
It'll get you.
Bourbon and ginger ale is a nice combination, but it'll trick you.
Jamieson and ginger.
Yeah, Jamieson and ginger.
So what are your favorite non-alcoholic drinks?
Real quick.
I'm like Bill.
Whenever I go to a hotel and I see cranberry juice, I just get so excited.
It's delicious.
Your urinary tract thanks you.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but I guess I'm the 30-year-old boomer, the meme, because I love the White Monster energy drinks.
I actually do find those.
If I don't have coffee, that's what I go for.
Or the old school White Rockstar.
I know most people don't like that, but that's usually what I go for.
Yeah.
My favorite is the White Monster.
It is pretty good.
I don't know, something about that flavor.
Sometimes I even wish that they made like a caffeine-free version, because I want to like drink it right before I go to sleep.
Yeah, you want to have one of those.
You know what's pretty good though?
Neuro drinks?
Neuro Bliss?
Those are good.
Yeah, the blue one is the Neuro Bliss one, so I don't know what it does.
It's supposed to be relaxing.
I know there's nothing in there really bad for you.
It's just like C9 and vitamin D, but it is pretty tasty later in the day.
It's kind of similar to the White Monster.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
You guys passed me over those.
They're actually pretty good.
Yeah, they're actually not bad.
And they have the Energy one too, the Neurosonic, those are good.
Then there was, wasn't there the Neurogasm?
Binaural Beats one.
I'm not familiar with that one.
I have no idea.
Maybe that was a different store.
You, what are your favorite, what are your favorite?
I mean, I'm a Texan, so Dr. Pepper.
I like Dr. Pepper a lot.
Is that like a rite of passage in Texas?
You have to like Dr. Pepper?
I mean, when you come out of the womb, it's the Whataburger.
Dr. Ross Perot.
They do the Dr. Pepper birth, where you're in just a tub of Dr. Pepper, and you float to the surface, and if you don't, you don't.
It's fizzy, you know?
It's nice.
If you do it right, you can do the Dr. Pepper dolphin birth.
Oh, wow!
Tell me about that.
Well, they're supposed to do it in the ocean, so at that point, the Dr. Pepper's quite diluted.
Oh, no.
But it's still there.
Salt water.
Don't try and drink it.
You end up like Ron Paul at debate number four.
We're now Joe Biden.
What's your favorite theater audio aid?
I really like a good sparkling water.
I'll drink a Gatorade after work usually.
But yeah, most of the time it's just water for me.
What color?
I go yellow Gatorade.
I think it's the original.
Red's the best one.
That's Pine-Sol.
That's basically Pine-Sol.
Pine-Sol.
It's lemon-lime, yeah, I like that.
I do like the red one though, the fruit punch.
I don't like the fruit punch, it's way too sweet.
Here, I'm relighting this cigar.
Does anyone here remember Allsport?
That was Shaq, because there was Gatorade, then Powerade, then there was an arms race for crappy hydrate.
Does anyone out there remember Allsport?
Shaquille O'Neal was in Allsport.
It was fizzy.
I feel like this is something that you as a foreigner had No, no, no.
All sport wasn't... Shaquille O'Neal.
I mean, I don't think Shaquille O'Neal was only selling to Canada.
I got confused because I was drinking a whole thing of Icy Hot.
So I guess I got my Shaquille products mixed up.
How did it feel?
I was blending up Papa John's and putting it in.
Or General Insurance.
Which one is he in now?
Alright.
You've had your fun.
Oh, no, I'll swear.
I don't remember Allsport.
No, not at all.
Maybe someone out there remembers.
Maybe it was a Canadian thing.
I have no idea.
We were also talking about this, so Play-Doh for kids.
That is not fair.
When you have Play-Doh that looks like a strawberry, it smells like a strawberry, but then if the kid eats it, he's going to shorten his lifespan by 18 years.
I didn't know that.
I don't know why they do it.
I mean, I'm just saying you're not supposed to eat it.
I don't know if it's toxic.
Now they say non-toxic, but I remember that change, which makes Which presumes it was toxic beforehand.
Why make something that looks and smells delicious but could kill you?
Or is just weirdly salty.
Are we talking about ChapStick right now?
That too.
We're talking about Play-Doh.
It'd be like making the packing peanuts that come with your packages smell like cheeseburgers.
Why would you eat those, Kyle?
Because I'm five!
And the Ziploc bag smells like cherries!
Kyle is fine, by the way, audience.
He's fine.
He just needs some agua.
Let's go to a video question!
Hey Crowder and Company, this is Garrett.
I just wanted to ask you guys real quick, what do you think are the most important aspects of lifestyle that need to be compatible between two people for a long-term relationship to be successful?
Thank you for everything you guys do.
Hope you have a good one.
See you around.
You're not Garrett.
He's Garrett.
Yeah, one of the good ones.
It's confusing.
What are you doing?
I don't know which one to shoot.
Too soon?
This is pretty...
I don't know.
What are you talking about?
Why don't you tell me?
Garrett's shooting.
Oh.
Oh.
No, not too soon.
No, Foster?
He's never too soon.
No, that's just different if you aim an AK-47 at a car.
I don't consider it a surprise.
It's not like, he was so quiet, we never would have expected this.
Would you have expected it after he aimed an AK-47?
Well, you know, I guess that's a reason.
I mean, now that you bring that up.
I do appreciate, though, just on that point, like, how pro-gun.
People have to be to make that argument.
They'd be like, no, no, no, he's totally fine to harry it, and then point it, and then, oh, but, uh, ooh.
Yeah, pro-gun, but anti-gun safety.
That's when you switch back to Anderson Cooper.
That's just like all this time we were advocating for responsible gun ownership in Second Amendment, realized all we needed to do was aim it at civilians with their finger on the trigger, and the left would have gotten on board.
CNN loves it.
They would have been the next Charlton Heston.
Um, you know, that's a good question.
You know, we talk about this quite a bit in Life Advice.
I think that you can make a lot of aspects of a relationship work.
I don't think that you need to find someone where you have everything in common.
For example, sometimes you're like, well, we need the same, like the same movies, like the same books.
No, you don't have to have the same hobbies.
It really does come down to sharing the same fundamental values.
I don't know how people out there, James Carville does, I don't understand how you can make
it work if you're a conservative, this person is a liberal.
And I don't mean that maybe they're moderate and not necessarily interested in politics,
but someone whose fundamental worldview is diametrically opposed to yours.
I don't know how you raise children.
I don't know how you have a relationship.
I've never understood it.
But if you have those values in line and also expectations and values as it relates to the
relationship itself and roles in the relationship.
If you agree on those, almost everything else can work.
And some people think it's not romantic because it's not this idea of, you know, the one and love is a many splendored thing.
You know what the truth is?
Eventually you choose somebody, and that passion wears off at some point, and you get it back.
You choose to continue acting on that, and so you both need to be on the same page when you enter into that relationship.
It's the only way I've seen it work.
Now I'd say, what about friendships?
Maybe that's what he was asking.
Long-term friendships, is it as required?
Did he say friendships?
I'm pretty confident we answered a different question.
No, no, he didn't specify.
But no, that actually is, I think, different.
Did he say friendships?
No, he said long-term relationships.
Well, you want another friend named Garrett?
You want to be Garrett and Garrett?
Garrett?
Me Garrett!
Garrett?
Me Garrett!
He's not Mexican!
That's the introduction for you now.
Thank you.
No, for friendships?
Friendships?
I don't know.
No, with guys it's different.
You can have someone you disagree with on a whole lot with guys, politically and still.
Then it comes down to more so values like loyalty, honesty, you know, not all of my friends.
Now, the truth is now, today in 2020, you don't really find that in a lot of leftists, unfortunately.
You find it in classical liberals who maybe support higher taxes, but people who believe in shouting someone down with a boombox and lighting their car on fire, not really someone I want with me in the foxhole.
Yeah, people, if you're headed toward marriage, if that's your goal, then Trust is going to be a big deal, and that is based on, again, an underlying set of values.
Because you're going to be making decisions with this other person, and so being able to work within the same framework, you're not going to be around that person every time they're making the decision.
My wife's at home with my kids right now.
I'm not around her every single second of the day, but I trust her with that, and she can trust me with a bunch of other stuff.
So it's like trust is going to be important, and the values that underlie that trust are essential.
And I'm not the best person to ask this advice because I started on second base.
Huge penis.
What were you about to say there, Reg?
Oh no, I was thinking back to the friendships.
I'm saying it makes it easy.
Sure.
Yeah, okay.
It gives me a third leg up.
I can't remember but I think as far as friendships go, didn't C.S. Lewis say something like,
you know, friendships are born out of looking at someone else and saying, oh, you too, you
have this interest, right?
And so I think especially for guys, a shared interest, you can build a friendship on that
without particularly anything else in common.
I had guys that I would do powerlifting competitions with.
We'd train together.
We'd go to the meets.
I had a guy, a close friend who was a Muslim, so I'd be sitting there reading my Bible, sharing a hotel room with him, and he'd be like praying towards Mecca, and then we'd get up the next day and Max Elton squats, benching deadlifts.
Did you ever pray to cancel out his prayers?
No, no.
I didn't.
We were in different—that's how it works.
I do that sometimes.
We were in different weight classes, so it didn't matter.
But no, I think a shared interest, you can really bond over that.
And, you know, politics, religion, other things don't have to come into the mix.
With a marriage, it's obviously different because if you try to do that, you'll be pulling in two opposite directions.
And that's where this sort of biblical analogy of being yoked together with someone, you've got to, if you're yoked, two animals yoked together, they've got to be going the same way.
Right.
That's the main thing.
Especially when you're yaks.
You ever try to yoke yaks?
They're very strong animals.
You cannot yoke yaks if they are not equal.
Can we yoke yak better?
I don't know if we can yoke yak better, but we can.
We're talking about, by the way, I want to be really clear, equal opportunity for the yaks, but not equal outcomes.
Not all yaks, there's no equal outcome guaranteed for yaks, so you yoke them equally as far as opportunity.
Go ahead.
So, I agree.
I think when it comes to the relationships, you often have to have a similar goal, and you have to be able to know that when that person is making a decision, that you can generally understand.
Like, I'm not saying, like, you pick the wrong tenor.
Right, yeah, communication.
That's pretty freaking key, you know.
But ultimately, that speaks to the higher center.
Like, where are we headed?
Like, where are we going to be in 5, 10, 20 years?
What do we want our kids to be?
What kind of relationships do we want to have?
All of that means that, you know, you've got to have some level of kind of core compatibility.
Even if you have, you know, you watch TV in different rooms because you like different shows or one of you likes to, you know, shoot guns and the other one likes to go play golf or like whatever, you know?
Wait, which one of you in your relationship likes to play golf?
Uh, me.
So you like to shoot guns and play golf.
What's your wife doing at those things?
She's just hanging out.
She's very understanding.
She's a very tolerant person.
Exceptionally patient.
But I think with friendships, you're right.
There's no question, like for example, I play in a band and we have a variety of people on all spectrums.
We were recording a song actually a couple weeks ago for a new album and the producer was a small business conservative from New York.
He's like, I have Conservatism is in my blood because of how I've seen small businesses being treated under certain policies in the state of New York and how that's affected my family and my grandparents and stuff like that.
And then we had another gentleman also from New York, an immigrant who lived in Brooklyn, had a more leftist type of view.
And over the course of one of our breaks, like we were recording, we took a break, we're, you know, having a drink, eating some food, talked about politics for about 30 minutes, and then wrapped it up and got back done.
And, you know, it doesn't have to be because you're not always having to go to the same place, do the same things, trust them with your kids, or your finances, or your decision for church.
It's a little bit different.
Yeah.
And I think with men in particular, we were talking about this earlier, how kind of in the powerlifting community there was sort of a lot of common ground, a kinship with the combat sports community, whether it was jujitsu or even collegiate wrestling.
The reason for that is A, I think it's because it's an individual sport.
You know, so much training comes down to a moment where it's all on you.
There's a lot of similarities between strength sports and combat sports.
There's an intensity, as well as kind of, you go out there alone, but you do train with a team of people.
So you're forging the fire.
And there is something to be said, for men particularly, while we're getting off relationships, going more into the territory of friendships, of being in some kind of a fight, some kind of a battle together, some kind of a struggle, does definitely seem to forge a bond.
Or, you see relationships fracture.
Because, you know, you can also, I think all of us at some point have had a relationship where, okay, it was tested, and the person folded, and you realize you cannot trust that person.
So even if you don't share the same political values, or maybe political policies, I would say,
because the difference between, for example, a lot of Muslims and Christians,
they're actually probably very similarly aligned with a lot of values outside of, you know,
like we believe that women can get in the driver's seat in the Volvo.
It's not, you know, ain't gonna mean all that much to me.
But yeah, if you share those values and you do see some loyalty and some trust
and people who will be there when you need them, that's what's most important in a male relationship.
But yeah, you can have a common interest, and everything kind of revolves around that.
And sometimes you'll have friendships where it really just revolves around a common interest and you don't talk about a whole lot of other things, whereas in a relationship with a woman, those common interests outside of values and direction don't matter as much.
And just because something's not coming up right now doesn't mean it never will.
So that if you are in a relationship, if you're dating somebody, you can't maintain sort of political neutrality or moral neutrality or religious neutrality for a while.
Especially in the long term.
You can only do that if you don't really want to be with them.
If you don't really want to share the kinds of things you have to share in a marriage, Is the only way you can get any further out of the road and inevitably it will cause a problem.
Yes.
No, exactly.
And I want to even go so far as to say the common interests in a marriage in many ways aren't necessary.
You know, I have some, my wife and I, we actually, if we go to the movie theater, we both want to see the same movie.
We both read the same book.
So we are an example of we have a lot of common interests, but I have friends who probably have almost zero common interests, but their marriage still works great because they share those values.
And I think it actually, you know, opposites can attract, it can be interesting and exciting to have someone who Well, my brother and his wife, for example, they share a lot in common.
They have the same sense of humor.
They both worked in media.
They are interested in a lot of the same things.
They're both very, you know, they like to be around each other all the time.
My wife and I are actually pretty, I would say, independent in the sense that my wife can be downstairs reading a book, or she can be reading a book while I'm watching a documentary, and we're perfectly happy.
You know, we have the dogs with us, and we're in each other's company, right?
It's about quality time.
It also does come down to, in relationships, esteeming your partner first.
And so, when I look for a movie that we're gonna watch together, if my wife will say, hey, I'm tired, I'd maybe like to watch a movie tonight, could you pick one?
I think we've all had this conversation, the biggest fights I ever got to in my life was with a girlfriend back in a video store.
Because, you know, the physicality of it just makes you want to, like, find the hard edge and... Not that you did.
You didn't do that.
Yeah, I thought you said you weren't Muslim.
No, I just found a nearby child.
You've got to bring the magnetron with you.
As soon as she reaches for it, you go, oh, sorry.
Already touched it.
Touched it.
But, so if she says, hey, try and find a movie, I will try and find something that my wife enjoys.
And I find something that I like that my wife likes.
For example, she loves like those early 90s thrillers, like, you know, Primal Fear, like Basic Attraction, Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, those kinds of things.
I think the film like Frailty, these kinds.
And I enjoy those too.
Now there are certain comedies that I'll enjoy that I know, I mean, my wife just isn't going to like.
But she'll also look and find some comedies that she thinks, okay, we can watch together.
Now there are certain lines that are drawn, for example, married at first sight, don't do it.
I did Bachelor when we were dating, I did Bachelor for the first two years of our marriage and I said, sweetie, I can't do it anymore.
If it's a show with a midget on TLC being pushed off a boat, I don't want to watch it.
Like, I can't do that, but I will go with you on these other journeys.
See, I'll preface it with, I'll go into your movie, but you gotta know I'm gonna make fun of it.
Like, I'm gonna make fun of it.
That was me with The Bachelor for a long time, and then she thought that it grew tiresome.
Which, she didn't know it grew tiresome.
Don't have me around?
That was by design.
Wait, the show or you?
Yeah, me.
But that was by design.
I'm like, I'm just going to make this such a miserable experience.
I can never be accused of not supporting her, but I'm not going to have to watch Desiree pick from 16 wannabe actor douchebags.
So you don't want to watch The Bachelor, she doesn't want you to watch The Bachelor.
Exactly.
She doesn't want you to watch The Bachelor, so I go read a book on Churchill.
And we both go our separate ways.
But on the flip side, with men, And I want to know, people out there, I guess this is kind of a question for you.
What do you find, how do you see the connections being different between sort of your friendships, namely your same-sex friendships?
That's probably a whole other discussion.
I don't really know that men and women can be really good friends.
I think you can, like, for example, I work with Courtney and we have a professional relationship and we're from afar, but I don't think my wife would ever be okay with me hanging out with a woman as often as I hang out with people here, Gerald alone.
You know, Mike Pence was dragged through the mud because he said, I won't go out to dinner.
Because all he basically said was, hey, if I'm going to Cheesecake Factory with a dame, I'm going to make sure that there's somebody else present so I don't get Me Too'd.
Oh my gosh, he hates women.
This was pre-Me Too, so they didn't even have a label for it.
Like, just don't hang out with girls alone.
And really, Cheesecake Factory should have been the most upset because he said that their meals were always, he said it was aggressively mediocre.
Always disappointing.
Always disappointing.
Whereas Olive Garden, you're not disappointed because you know exactly what you get.
There you go.
It's about expectation.
Yeah, it's exactly about expectations.
So let us know what you think about that as far as what those commonalities are.
I will say with Jiu Jitsu, there was a guy who Really a great guy.
We ended up becoming good friends.
And he was advanced at this point.
Purple Belt was really close to being a brown belt.
And I had some instructors for a long time who wanted me to compete, and so they would hold me back at white and at blue.
And so that's so you could win more medals, which really isn't fair.
They call it sandbagging.
And I always wanted to advance because I didn't really feel good being better than people in my category.
But I rolled with this guy who was kind of top dog at school.
And when we were rolling, he got really mad because he was having a tough time.
And so he turned it up on me.
And I could feel him like he got aggressive.
And so then I turned it up.
And then it turned into a full-fledged fight.
It's like we were fighting before with less intensity, but now there were elbows grinding, and then we both got up and he's like, yeah, you wanna go?
I'm like, sure, again?
You wanna go outside?
So we won't have mats!
And then after that, we got into a fight.
Turned out that he was going through a rough period in his relationship, and he called me and he said, hey man, I'm sorry, it's just, you know, like, obviously this is
something that means a lot.
It's a big part of my identity right now.
I'm going through this rough time in my personal life.
He said, I shouldn't have done that.
I'm the more advanced student.
I should be, he said, I'm really sorry.
I said, you know what?
I'm really sorry because I should have sort of, I should have given you the right of way.
And after that, we were each other's best training partners.
We were joking.
We were having fun.
It never got super competitive.
We were relatively evenly matched.
You know where the lines are.
You know where the lines are.
But it took, in our common interest, we did share values.
We happened to.
But I've had other people in jiu-jitsu who were always sharing common issues.
Because jiu-jitsu, I would see them four or five times a week at this point in my life and never see them outside of it.
But we were pretty close.
Yeah.
And we knew when we went to tournaments that we had each other's backs, that we would be there cornering each other, that we would be kind of helping each other warm up.
That's important.
Men are task-focused, task-oriented.
You need to have an activity that you accomplish together, and that forges a bond.
And men are respect-oriented as well, so being able to respect the other person, that is what forges friendships.
Yeah, respect and loyalty are the two main things in here.
Absolutely.
And that can be the case in a marriage as well.
I mean, if a wife doesn't respect her husband, You know, that will sap the identity from the man and will also just destroy that relationship.
Yeah, women tend to receive love more so in tenderness, in kindness, in being gentle, in being compassionate, in listening.
And men sort of receive love very often in forms of respect, in service, in appreciation.
That doesn't mean, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
But you know what?
It'll melt your husband's heart if he comes home and you make a really good meal because you just did it because you love him and you know that he loves that chicken piccata and it's better than Cheesecake Factory.
Again, chicken piccata, chicken piccata for anyone listening out there.
What do you mean?
What did I say?
No, that you want the chicken piccata.
Oh, yes.
Just for hints.
I'm confused.
Okay, hold on.
Can I just tell you, my mind goes crazy things when we're talking about stuff.
And I thought to myself when we were earlier talking about Cheesecake Factory.
My mind goes crazy when we're not talking about stuff.
I know.
Is I thought, if there was a restaurant that Audio Wade would love the most, it's the frickin' Encyclopedia Tomb that is the Cheesecake Factory menu.
Because he loves to read so much.
And I can see him being like... A lot of options.
Chapter 9.
None of them are great.
None of it's bad, but none of it's very good.
Yes, correct.
Overpriced and just mediocre.
I mean, if your steak is getting shown up by Dave & Buster's right next to the Whack-A-Mole, you gotta up your game.
But they do scout out good locations.
Cheesecake Factory, that's what they do.
They find a good corner.
You know, they're in a shopping mall.
Although I don't really know how valuable that is anymore.
But yeah, no, I think probably the same thing.
You probably have members in your band there, Half-Asian Bill, where you probably don't have a lot of commonality outside of music with some of them.
But when you're there, it doesn't matter.
You're close because you're doing something together.
Well we're close and they are all very respectful like we I think I've told you guys this before we did some touring before a couple years ago and you're in a van and a lot of time we're talking and like I'm still working on lawyeringly lawyerly stuff in the morning or whatever but every day we would pick a different topic driving between cities and talk and I would say I'll take either side whatever side you want me to take if you're you know whatever you think you are and I'll argue the
other side whatever it is so typically it was me arguing the conservative side
yeah um and and and every time it was sort of a backseat lawyer
uh yes constantly that sounds like fun oh sure it was great not arguing about
turn signals but he's arguing about mens rea and uh and so then you know but it was respect
It was respect and a learning and an openness that you're in consider.
And that was a thing that allowed us to have that common bond.
And then we would bond over, you know, White Castle at two in the morning in Louisville, because that was open.
And in music, as you're playing in a band sort of context, you can be impressed with each other.
So you can watch somebody do something they're very skilled at and just be able to be wowed by somebody, even if you have, again, different political views, different religious views.
But that also comes down to temperament.
Because some people will see someone else who is successful, and I think that's a big difference between leftists and conservatives in a lot of ways.
When I see someone who's a billionaire, when I see someone who's very wealthy, I don't get mad at them.
I don't think they must have screwed someone.
I go, oh my, what is this guy doing?
Or when I see someone who's really good at jujitsu, when I used to watch them, I'd be like, What is he doing?
And I'll ask him, how are you training?
And inevitably, they're doing something that I'm not.
They're doing something better than I'm doing.
But there are some people who will get mad and get jealous or try to pull you down if they know that you're better than them.
And that's someone you can't be friends with.
And I've had relationships like that, where they're friends with you.
And this happens in the comedy community.
You're doing stand-up comedy.
Then all of a sudden, I got into the Just for Laughs.
And people who were saying that I was good were gone.
I was like, oh, you took my spot.
No, I just did.
Listen, you're great, and I would say you're probably better than me, but I just had a better showing that night.
You know, it was my night.
So that is, I think, something that comes down to respect and appreciation, a mutual respect.
And I think the left tends to think in terms of zero-sum games, and whereas people on the right don't.
So if, again, there are lots of spots.
There are lots of opportunities for you to advance, maybe next year.
And again, but everybody thinks that if that one spot in Just for Laughs is taken, again, that there's no room for you to advance.
That's my spot, kid.
That's my spot.
I was gonna be the number one star in the world.
The world.
Danny Carby's Mickey Rooney.
You ever see that?
I was the number one star in the world.
You hear me?
The world.
That was his Mickey Rooney impression.
I don't know why.
I got to work with the wonderful Ann-Margret.
A knockout!
The number one star in the world!
That was his whole bit, Data Carby.
But I will say this too, when you talk about mutual respect, if you find someone who's excellent at something, someone who's kind of good at something, but not really, and you want to sort of sit at their feet and learn, they often try to make it seem like it's something you can't do.
Someone who is a master, someone who is genuinely good and accomplished and knows that they are one of the best, they're usually actually pretty happy to try and impart that wisdom with someone else.
That's been my experience.
I've gone up to world, so I just say jujitsu because it's something I've done for a long time.
Comedy is a very hyper competitive, even though people try to act like it's community, it's not.
But in jiu-jitsu, I've gone up to world champions and go, man, how did you get this guillotine to work?
And they go like, oh, let me show you.
But I've had people who are kind of so-so, go, how do you do that?
They're like, man, it's just doing it for a long time.
You have to do it for a long time.
And they want to make it seem like there's some barrier to entry.
And that's because people who are really good, the language they speak is respect.
If you show appreciation and respect to someone rather than jealousy, and this applies to people who run successful businesses, people who have successful marriages, in most cases there are exceptions to the rule.
People who are excellent, they want to see other people be excellent because they're kind of in a league of their own.
And let me end it with this before we tell YouTube to take a hike for people who are Mug Club members.
Of course, this continues behind the paywall at livewithcredit.com slash Mug Club.
My grandfather was a full colonel in the Air Force.
He would have been general, but he didn't have a high school, he didn't have a college degree.
I don't even know if he had a high school degree.
And he was a guy who trained all of the fighter pilots, basically, all the elite kind of fighter pilots in the Air Force.
And so he was flying every day.
He was an officer, but he was out there flying every day.
And his kids didn't really realize it.
My parents would say, they'd be like, Dad, oh, Dad, dinner, dinner.
I don't want Sloppy Joes, whatever they were complaining about, you know, back then, because they had Sloppy Joes.
And if they asked for steak, it's like, who are we, the Rockefellers?
You know, no, it's everyone has steak.
But they would say that, and he'd go, you little s**t.
Do you know where I was today?
I was over Portland, and then Canada, Sacramento, and back before your final school bell rang.
Do you have any idea what I do each day?
It's just like you had the coolest job and no one appreciated it because it was their dad.
And so if you're a wife, if you're a son, that is something that I think goes a long way with men and women.
Let me know what's the equivalent of that.
What goes a long way with you?
Because we always want to learn and you're a Rubik's Cube that we just can't figure out.
Our last name is not together.
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