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April 27, 2020 - Louder with Crowder

01:19:08

Jeff Goldblum Cancelled for Islam Comments?! | Ep #13 Good Morning MugClub

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	Oh, did you actually hit repeat?
	No, it's just me.
	I'm doing the intro, but I'm doing it in real time.
	That's real time versus video tape.
	Good morning, Mug Club and non-Mug Club, everyone out there on YouTube, because it's Mug Club Quarantine Month, so we're giving away everything for free this month.
	If you've enjoyed this, if you've enjoyed spending your time with us, go to ladowithcreditor.com slash Mug Club, enter in the promo code quarantine, and you get $30 off.
	That's a big deal.
	This is the last week.
	It is.
	Last week.
	And it's going to culminate in the livestream on Thursday, a few hours, but we were going to do the press briefing and then fact-check CNN.
	Turns out they might not do the press briefings anymore.
	That's what I hear.
	Really?
	I don't know.
	I think you should keep doing them.
	Yeah.
	They're a lot of fun.
	Do it anyways.
	Are you okay with your headphones over there?
	I'm good.
	I hear a little bit of echo in here.
	Is that... Pop's Crowder's mic isn't on yet, is it?
	We have Papa Crowder's going to be in here a little bit later.
	We're going to be talking about a couple of things, namely that Corona is not a hoax, not a hoax at all.
	But you were hoaxed by the media.
	Yeah, a lot of you.
	We'll be talking about Joe Biden and all the rape.
	All the rape stuff with Joe Biden.
	And then more and more, the cover-up of the rape.
	That's really the story.
	That's a very common saying.
	It's a long one.
	about rape. The worst thing about the rape is is the it's the actual rape but
	then the second thing is that they lie about the rape right is the cover-up.
	That's a very common saying. Yeah it's very it's a long one yeah not on a
	bumper sticker. With Joe Biden the hypocrisy is pretty bad.
	But the rape was worse.
	Are any of us surprised?
	And by the way, you can subscribe, of course, iTunes, Android, anywhere podcasts are sold or not sold.
	And Crowder Bits is available on YouTube right now for a little extra clips.
	Of course, live chat only for Mug Club members.
	If you're watching there at the Blaze TV right now, we will be reading some chats later.
	You guys all have a good weekend?
	Yes.
	Yeah, I had a great weekend.
	Great weekend.
	I had allergies though.
	Oh, wow.
	So you said you had a great weekend, but the first thing you mentioned is allergy.
	Yeah, I'm saying I powered through.
	I went down to Pikachu Peak.
	What?
	That's a place in Arizona.
	It scared me.
	Anyone who knows this, it's out there.
	You find the Red Rocks in Arizona.
	One time I was driving across the country from Los Angeles to Texas.
	There's a place called Picacho Peak, I think.
	It looks just something like prehistoric.
	There's a little gift shop.
	Little gift shop at the bottom down there.
	And I went in, and they had scorpions and lollipops.
	And I was like, oh my gosh, this is a giant lollipop with a scorpion that you can eat.
	And the guy, I'm like, I don't know.
	Does anyone actually eat these?
	I hadn't seen the owner of the store.
	I swear to God.
	He turns around.
	He's missing an eye.
	He goes, well, it takes one with a brass pair, kid.
	He was a veteran who lost his eye in NAMM.
	Oh, wow.
	If, sir, was very nice, very friendly, but if the owner of the novelty shop right underneath, and there's nothing for miles, Joe Peak is still, I would love to have you on the show.
	Did he have a pet?
	Call in.
	Has he not heard of strawberry?
	I mean, come on, let's get a normal flavor.
	I think it was strawberry, and then there was a scorpion eating a lollipop.
	Well, never mind, that's much more normal.
	It's in the middle, I've seen those, yeah.
	Did you end up eating it?
	No!
	Why not?
	Because I'm not a psychopath.
	Why would I eat a lollipop with a scorpion in it?
	Oh wait, hold on a second!
	CNN!
	We're gonna live-check CNN a little bit.
	Let's see what they have going on there.
	What's your name?
	Brooke Baldwin?
	Parker Posey?
	Poppy Harlow!
	She's actually, she's fared the best with the 4K from home.
	They had to use a blue screen.
	She's actually, she's fared the best with the 4K from home.
	Yeah.
	That's like an after and before photo.
	What are they looking at?
	Common heartburn drug being studied as possible treatment.
	I'm a little curious about this because I saw this this morning.
	They were talking about how the heartburn medication sometimes deactivates certain receptors that are attacked by COVID.
	Reg, I know, is there live.
	We weren't ever supposed to talk about this, but it's actually surprising people have been talking about how bad smoking is.
	And I have no medical advice here whatsoever.
	But they did one study in China where they looked at the people who had contracted coronavirus, and it was unbelievably low, the percentage of smokers, in comparison to the total population of China.
	And a big reason, they thought, is that nicotine actually acts on the, if I'm not mistaken, like the A2 receptors that COVID attacks.
	So basically, it down-regulates the sensitivity of those receptors.
	COVID attacks it, and it really has nothing to attack.
	I wonder if it's the same thing with a little bit of Pepsodacy?
	I don't know.
	I thought you were going to say, because your lungs are already destroyed if you're dumb enough to smoke.
	A little bit of Tums.
	No.
	I'm not saying you should smoke.
	I'm just saying that apparently— Not medical advice.
	Do not start smoking.
	Inject yourself with smoke.
	That's what Steven said, yes.
	I'm not saying that smoking immunizes you against the Chinese flu.
	And let me ask you this question for everyone watching, and we can go through with the chat.
	But also, this is going to be archived, so people in the comments section below, can you stop shaking?
	Do you have restless leg syndrome?
	It does.
	Do you have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis?
	I feel like that's all the commercial I see on CNN.
	It's restless leg syndrome.
	Oh yeah, your leg shake?
	You need this hardcore pharmaceutical.
	Right now, Wade is just going like this.
	This is my mild plaque psoriasis, just normal.
	I love how it's moderate to severe.
	It's like, well, if we say severe, we won't get enough clients.
	It's a sliding scale.
	Exactly.
	Like, I don't know.
	Well, I have moderate.
	I'm moderate.
	What if someone doesn't make that phone call because they think it's moderate, not moderate to severe, and then it just gets away from them.
	It was only moderate!
	No, it's moderate to severe, but it's too late!
	Doctors, can you do anything for me?
	I'm sorry, it's too late for you.
	Now it's past moderate to severe.
	It's just severe.
	Oh, shoot!
	There are children around, so the guy would fight.
	It's a family show.
	Which, I don't like those.
	Why should I ask my doctor?
	Shouldn't my doctor be telling me about it?
	Why are you putting the onus on me?
	Yeah, exactly.
	You stole my word, Wade!
	Onus!
	Onus!
	There's nothing I can do about this mod- There's nothing I can do.
	I'm sorry, patient.
	Wait, go see if there's a commercial.
	There's nothing I can do about your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.
	What about, uh, what about, uh, Pepcid AC?
	I mean, yeah, I guess we can give him a shot.
	What?
	What?
	Did I just self-diagnose in your office?
	Give me your prescription, Pat.
	I'm gonna write down some Percocet while I'm at it.
	Like it's a speakeasy.
	Yeah, come on back with the Pepcid AC.
	Alright, we should probably get the news, but I will say this.
	I don't hate western medicine, but pharmaceutical reps should be shot at dawn before breakfast.
	Why before breakfast?
	I talked about this when I was early married and I was defecating in boxes because I had some stomach problems.
	Turned out it was related to having my appendix removed and all this stuff, like a probiotic thing.
	So anyways, I'm in there, and I go to a gastrointestinologist, and he's taught, like, he's asked me what am I doing?
	I'm like, well, you know, I just, I just, I can't, I keep cramping my pants.
	You know, effectively.
	And there's this stunner pharmaceutical rep.
	He goes, hey, do you mind if one of, if this rep sits here?
	I said, don't finish that sentence.
	I do mind.
	Yes.
	I don't want them in there at all.
	Yeah.
	I don't even want your understudy there at all, whatever they call them.
	Why do they need... No, they don't need to be in there for that.
	Nurse?
	So I don't know, but my question for you... Hello, nurse!
	Do you think that any of this will catch up with Joe Biden?
	The accusations, the allegations of rape, the fact that the media has not been holding him accountable whatsoever.
	Before we go into any of this with Joe Biden, I want to be clear.
	I think we should hold this to the same standard as we did Justice Brett Kavanaugh.
	So I don't think that Joe Biden is guilty at this point.
	I have no proof that he's guilty at this point, but it's fun to act like he's guilty.
	I just want to be real honest with where we're coming from here.
	There's a little bit of trolling going on, but there is some information that I think people should know.
	The real crime here is not whether Joe Biden, well, first off, if he did it, that's the real crime.
	If he raped, rape's an actual crime.
	It's a crime.
	It's not like, is it?
	It's a crime crime.
	It's just crime.
	And not funny crime.
	It's right on the button, crime.
	Rape is right there.
	It's one of those crimes that's sort of, eh, there's not a gray area.
	That being said, the crime that we are witnessing right now is that of media malpractice.
	Is that of them covering up what could potentially be a crime and making it hard for people to investigate whether or not a crime was committed.
	And that, to me, is what's so sinister.
	And I will say this, you never want to attribute malice, you know, as to what could be chalked up to stupidity.
	Uh, but I'll make a case here as to why I think some foul play is going on.
	You know, if this were Clue, I'd be like, ah, and the murderer is CNN!
	So let's go to this really quick.
	Tara Reade, she talked about how, the reason this was found was she talked about, yeah, not that Tara Reade.
	It's different.
	Blow at a party.
	This is Tara Reade who accused Joe Biden.
	That's just an unfortunate coincidence, right?
	Well, it's spelled differently.
	It is, but it doesn't matter.
	Right.
	And there's also, believe it or not, Joe Biden is also being accused by Rosaria Dawson.
	He just, apparently he had a fetish for Josie and the Pussycat.
	Co-star names.
	It's a very weird fetish for a rapist.
	Yeah, it's tough.
	You know?
	Different strokes.
	Also, he tried to rape someone from different strokes.
	Oh, wow.
	Who would that possibly be?
	What you talking about, Biden?
	Rape?
	He's like trying to smell the terror.
	Always talking about rape.
	So Tara Reade said in one interview and another, you know my mother did call in to Larry King
	back in 1993 about this and it was sort of veiled and she said I bet you someone could
	find the episode.
	Well, someone did find the episode and even though you can't 100% confirm that this is
	Tara Reade's mother, the one who's accusing Joe Biden of sexual assault, we can confirm
	that her mother lived in San Luis Obispo.
	We can confirm it's around the time frame where she said that it would have taken place, and the voice in question has been identified as Tara Reade's mom by some folks.
	So right now, just to be clear, this is not really in question.
	It hasn't been confirmed, but we haven't heard anyone even deny it.
	I want you to listen to this phone call.
	Tara Reade, woman who was allegedly raped by Biden, her mother calling into Larry King.
	We're back.
	A couple more phone calls on this very important topic.
	Our guests are former United States Senator Howard Baker.
	Richard Allen, former National Security Advisor, and Lois Romano of the Washington Post.
	San Luis Obispo, California.
	Hello.
	Yes, hello.
	She's so bad.
	I'm wondering what a staffer would do besides go to the press in Washington.
	My daughter has just left there after working for a prominent senator and could not get through with her problems at all.
	And the only thing she could have done was go to the press, and she chose not to do it out of respect for him.
	Or she had a story to tell, but out of respect for the person she worked for, she didn't tell it.
	That's true.
	But these are the people who do come to the Lois Romanos, right?
	The staff worker who says, I want to let you know about what's going on, either with my boss or the guy down the hall.
	And a lot of these people have a sense of obligation.
	They feel that this public official should be accountable if it's something Now, the first thing I noticed, I apologize for the poor sound, is how bad Larry King is at his job.
	He just repeats what the other people say.
	And then tosses to someone to do his job and says the city wrong.
	Now, in San Luis Obispo, California, you're on the air.
	Okay, so you're saying you were raped and you want to know if that is a crime, correct?
	Your Honor?
	What is the legal status on rape?
	Uh, it is a crime, Larry.
	It is a crime, San Luis Obispo!
	We'll go to our caller in Poughkeepsie.
	That's a big legal thumbs down from our representative here.
	This headline says that Chipotle has gotten in trouble one more time for contaminated food.
	No.
	Doctor, your thoughts on contamination at Chipotle?
	Thank you for your commentary, we'll be back!
	He doesn't do anything!
	Yeah, it's pretty bad.
	And people act as though he's providing some sort of value.
	Okay, so here's what's really scary.
	After this, the August 11th, 1993 broadcast of that show disappeared.
	Keep this up because I need to see this really quickly.
	Now, here's what's crazy about this.
	154, 155, if you look at these episodes, right?
	We don't know when this was removed from the Google Play Store, but it skips from August 10th, August 12th.
	I've looked into, and keep this up for a little bit because I can't look at this on my iPad.
	I looked everywhere else through these seasons and I couldn't find a day skipped.
	Provided it wasn't a weekend where the show was actually running.
	This is the only one that I can find.
	And if you looked at it, it goes from 154 to 155.
	That means they had to change the episode numbers of the catalog after for the entire season.
	Okay, you can bring that down.
	That is insane.
	Some people were saying, well, CNN had this removed.
	No, CNN actually didn't have it removed.
	But that's even scarier to me, because that means that Google Play themselves removed it, and someone at Google, Alphabet Google, changed the entire episode count afterward.
	Which makes me wonder, are they sacrificing children to Moloch when they go out to Bohemian Grove?
	What kind of a cabal is there behind the scenes right now?
	But they removed that video, though, so don't worry.
	It's already been removed.
	Right, yeah, it's already been removed.
	Some people are saying there's no conspiracy because CNN doesn't do anything with Google.
	Well, hold on a second.
	That just means that Google is in on it with CNN.
	It gets worse if that's the case.
	If CNN isn't the actor here, it's somebody else that did it.
	And it's like, oh, great.
	Now we have to worry about them, too.
	Or even more.
	I mean, we always do.
	Yeah, and of all people, Google should know how the Internet works.
	As if they think that if you remove it, then it's gone.
	It never happened before.
	Zero.
	Correct.
	That's correct from the 1990s, yes.
	Now Gerald, I hear you use the internet, right?
	I do not.
	We'll be back with more calls from Sam the Big Abysmal.
	He looks like an owl.
	But in the internet, everything is everywhere all the time.
	So why do they think that, yeah, just, okay, we'll change the numbers so people won't even know.
	Like nobody has the Wayback Machine.
	And so we have actually, so with this evidence, which is, it's Not then, but it does corroborate what she says happened.
	Certainly more than we ever had with Brett Kavanaugh.
	Exactly what I was going to say.
	We have passed the point of the evidence that we had with Brett Kavanaugh.
	We are light years beyond that with evidence now for this case, and we're not hearing anything about it.
	And here's what matters, too.
	There are three potential Biden running mates that were on Sunday shows.
	None of them were asked about the allegations.
	And I believe it was Tara Reid who was really pissed off with Anderson Cooper.
	No one asked anyone anything.
	Let's just simplify this.
	Let's boil this down.
	Let's be reductive.
	What happened to Me Too?
	That was an entire year's worth of content.
	It was hashtag Me Too.
	Everything was Me Too.
	Right now, it's nowhere to be found.
	Kind of like Black Lives Matter.
	What happened to Black Lives Matter?
	That's gone now?
	None of it?
	There's no Me Too at all.
	Whereas right now, you have far more than you ever have with Kavanaugh.
	Now, what do I mean by that?
	How do I say that we have more evidence here than we have with Kavanaugh, where there really isn't all that much evidence?
	Well, with Kavanaugh, we didn't have that much evidence, but we had a lot of anti-evidence.
	We had a woman, Christine Blasey Ford, who came forward and said that something happened on a day that she couldn't remember in a place that she described which police investigated and didn't even exist.
	Her story that she gave to the psychologist didn't corroborate with a story that was put out in journals, and I think it was the Washington Post at the time, and wasn't the same as the testimony that was provided at the hearing.
	Then there were other women who came forward who afterward recanted and said, Okay, that wasn't necessarily true, and the only reason they did that was because people came out and said there's no possible way he could have been there at that time.
	Throughout this entire time span, Brett Kavanaugh was like a real-life Doug in that he kept a journal for his entire life, which was corroborated in several several other instances, which is why it was considered to
	be at least semi-valid as a form of evidence, and he has no history outside of the
	accusations that were brought to light immediately by the media, there is no other history of
	Brett Kavanaugh committing any type of inappropriate sexual conduct at all.
	Nothing.
	The only time it had ever been brought up was when the media immediately full-on assault against him.
	This isn't the first time this has happened with Joe Biden.
	Believe your lying eyes and ears.
	He sniffs children.
	He sniffs children.
	He has biker ladies sit on his lap.
	Several people have come forward before and just said that he's made them uncomfortable.
	Now this woman claims rape.
	She says, I bet if you go back to Larry King, my mom called in.
	That goes up and then it comes down because Google decides not to cover it.
	Or to remove it entirely, and then no media entity interviewing Joe Biden or any of the potential running mates bring up any of this?
	There's a lot more evidence here than Brett Kavanaugh.
	But can we not give them at least as much credence, like as we gave Christine Bush before?
	There's so much more evidence and less disconfirming evidence, but can we not just maybe raise them to the same level?
	Well, at least ask a roundabout question about it and say, hey, you're potentially one of his running mates.
	What do you think about these allegations, though they're obviously false?
	I know CNN would throw something like that in, right?
	What do you think about these terribly false accusations by that whore of a woman?
	Discredit her immediately.
	But they didn't even say that.
	They said nothing about it.
	And I'm not looking for her to be the spokesperson for the next Me Too movement.
	I'm saying it's possible, but at least ask the question, if you are a news agency, and you said you are, this is what you're supposed to do.
	There is no Me Too movement.
	No, I know, I know.
	That's the point, it's dead.
	And I would, as a matter of fact, the one thing I will say, the silver lining in this is don't expect people to trot out false accusations against Donald Trump this election.
	That was what was brilliant the last go around when they brought out the, you know, the tape of him grabbing by the, you know, and then he brought out Juanita Broderick.
	Yeah.
	Stand up!
	That's right, that's right.
	Bill Clinton, most people think of Monica Lewinsky.
	That's awkward.
	But she was in love with, she loved, they had a relationship.
	You were raped, right?
	You were raped, Juanita.
	Juanita was raped.
	It's terrible.
	He's got like the Juanita card, right?
	He's ready to just slap it down.
	Oh, we shouldn't bring this up anymore.
	I better be quiet now.
	I think that, well, God, who knows?
	The media might decide to make this go away and bring out some false allegation against Donald Trump.
	But here's something else.
	If someone were to come forward, let's say right now, who worked for Joe Biden, someone would interact with Joe Biden and say, you know what?
	Joe Biden actually, he's kind of racist.
	He treated me poorly because I'm a minority.
	You would have to go, well, let's go back to the tale of the tape.
	You can't go into a 7-Eleven without a slight Indian accent.
	Barack Obama is the first clean, articulate, Did he say Negro or African American?
	He said I don't want my children growing up in a jungle, a racial jungle.
	What about the Shylocks?
	Put you back in chains.
	Now, does it mean that he's a racist?
	I don't think that Joe Biden is a racist.
	But if someone were to come forward and say he treated me with a racial insensitivity that made me uncomfortable, there's far more of a track record there Then you would have a Brett Kavanaugh night.
	It's the rules for radicals thing of accusing somebody of doing exactly what you're doing.
	It distracts people from you taking part in the things that you're making fun of Donald Trump or others are doing.
	It's an insane strategy.
	Yeah, there'd be plenty of evidence to convict him if somebody came out and said, yes, he's actually a secret racist.
	Joe Biden?
	Yeah, he has the hood.
	He has the whole get up.
	It's in his closet.
	There'd be plenty of evidence to be like, oh, yeah.
	All right.
	Well, that makes sense.
	You just need a few pictures of him having dinner with Robert Byrd.
	That'll happen.
	Protemporum at that point.
	He was fourth in line for the presidency.
	A couple of airplanes went down.
	Robert Byrd wasn't just kind of dabbling in racism.
	He was recruiting.
	He had Klan dental in a company car.
	The Klan sent him a town car.
	Very hard to find a Lincoln town car all white.
	Is it like Mary Kay?
	You get enough recruits, you get your own racist car?
	You get enough recruits and you get a car with a custom burning crosshood on it.
	Did we just reduce the KKK to a multi-level marketing scheme?
	Yes, exactly what it is.
	It has a high roof for the hood.
	It's all very important.
	It's got the bubble roof like they put on those conversion vans for the ambulances.
	It's like the Popemobile, right?
	It's really basically a Westphalia, is what it is.
	Alright, that's good.
	I feel comfortable with that.
	I don't have to compromise my uniform, and I can get where I need to go.
	Anyway, my point is, Joe Biden's a rapist and a racist.
	I don't think he's either of those things.
	But I am at the point, you know, I used to say like, hey, we should be above that.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I think they can do it for comedy because they can see that and then they can say, no, we don't actually think he is.
	Like, they're both there, right?
	We're fine.
	But at least hold him to the same standard you hold him to.
	And by the way, the interviews that happened on the Sunday shows that you mentioned, I don't know, I know that there's three, I know two of the potential running mates, and they're both women.
	Is the third one a woman as well?
	Yeah.
	So all three women, this was not a relevant topic, a women's issue.
	Come on!
	It's not like there was a guy sitting up there and you kind of skate past it.
	I understand you potentially could be Joe Biden's vice presidential candidate.
	Well, I don't know, you know, exploratory committee.
	Quick question, are you concerned about him raping you?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Let's start with smelling your hair.
	Is it okay if he smells your hair?
	Now, running mate for Joe Biden, he didn't diddle you, correct?
	At no point did he smell your collar.
	All right, your thought on sniffing babies.
	We'll be back.
	Larry King, how does that guy, how does he have a job?
	I'm sorry, Dave Rubin.
	I know Dave Rubin really likes Larry King.
	I can't think of anyone, maybe Barbara Walters.
	She's the one who trivialized news worse than anyone I think I've ever seen.
	It's that voice.
	Larry King's got that, I don't know, easy to imitate voice.
	Get that paint.
	I don't know, it's fun.
	Way to search for a way to compliment the guy, Wade.
	I don't know.
	Come on.
	I don't know, he's the worst guy at handling... Larry King was the worst guy at handling the trolls.
	But caller number two, calling in from Tempe, here on the air.
	Howard Stern's penis, Howard Stern's penis, ba-ba-booey, ba-ba-booey.
	Hmm.
	Howard Stern's penis.
	Do you know anything about that, Senator Byrd?
	No matter what he said, he has to repeat it.
	He has no filter.
	Oh, by the way, we're going to get to some new updates on the coronavirus, COVID-19, the deaths, and the all-cause mortality rate.
	Again, I make no apologies for the position that we've maintained here on this show.
	But before that, I know that many of you, of course, you're in quarantine, and right now we're seeing that actually it looks like they're going to be in quarantine still in Wisconsin through May.
	What?
	So, yeah, all the way through May is what I just saw there on CNN.
	So we know that many of you have had your morning commutes disrupted.
	We do our best to serve you, so I believe we have our senior traffic correspondent on.
	It's time for Traffic Update.
	All right, Thomas Finnegan with our Traffic Update.
	Tell us what's going on this morning there, Thomas.
	That doesn't sound good.
	Wow.
	Nothing good, Steven.
	Nothing good.
	Okay.
	Thank you very much.
	All right.
	This has been our Traffic Update with Thomas Finnick.
	That's great reporting.
	I don't know.
	He killed a junior correspondent.
	Has anyone seen Thomas in a while?
	No.
	I haven't seen him in a while.
	He's the guy on one of the front lines, though.
	Yeah, he is.
	He's on the front lines.
	He's definitely the guy I want out there.
	Also, by the way... Right next to the tornado.
	Do you know what a new term... because we've been calling everyone on the front lines working in hospitals as heroes, right?
	They're on the front lines working in hospitals, but do you know what a synonym is for that now?
	Furloughed.
	I don't know, we've just destroyed, decimated the health industry here in the United States.
	A lot of people don't know this, that people are just, they can't stay in business, because they were waiting for a surge that never fully came, and the idea of flattening the curve was to make sure they were equipped.
	Now they're equipped, but they can't provide non-essential services, they can't make money, and I bet, who knows what's going to happen with the healthcare sector after this.
	And they're not doing well visits.
	So a lot of these doctors, obviously, are just sitting empty.
	Doing TikTok videos and stuff.
	So pediatricians are just sitting around waiting for more kids to come in, but the kids don't come in for the regular scheduled stuff.
	And that's also a big reason that the testing isn't very high, because people were told not to go in.
	They're afraid of this virus, and so they don't want to go in and get tested.
	And then they say, well why isn't there more?
	Unless you force people to come in and get tested, you're not gonna have more testing.
	The good thing is now we have several different municipalities that have done antibody testing.
	And I know this isn't a hundred 100% accurate, okay?
	I'll do a graph maybe next time when we do this show, but we have New York City, Santa Clara County, Los Angeles County, Miami-Dade County, and then Chelsea, Massachusetts near Boston, okay?
	Many, many, many, many thousands of people now where they've done random testing, sampling for antibodies in all of these different populations.
	These aren't small cities.
	Every single one has come out showing a 4 to over 6% infection rate, meaning far higher than we initially estimated.
	Every single one.
	Let me go back.
	New York City, Los Angeles County, Miami-Dade, and I know Chelsea.
	If someone knows of another large-scale antibody test that's reliable, send it in because they're changing every single day.
	Every single one has now revised their death rate to 0.5 to 0.1.
	Keep in mind, 95% of those in every single study conducted involves people over the age of 70 with comorbidities.
	So it is the flu.
	Right now, the actual death rate is far more communicable, but it is the flu.
	Let's be really clear.
	Now, some people are saying there might be some false positives for those antibody tests, and so it might be a little bit high.
	All right, OK, let's say that.
	But let's take a sliding scale here.
	My left, your right.
	Maybe I should do it in reverse.
	My right, your left, OK?
	The flu is about 0.1% death rate.
	Then the projected death rates that we had was between three and seven percent. I heard it's high at
	seven percent. New York they said seven percent.
	Let's call it five percent. So, point one flu, seven percent here. Okay? Here you go. I wish I had a
	little chart to draw this for you.
	I'd have to be a long way away. Everyone was called a science denier if they said, well you know what, it seems
	like it's more comparable to the flu than what they're claiming it's going
	to be.
	Right. Let's say that there are a few too many positive antibody tests right now
	and it's, I don't know, point five percent.
	Let's say it's .7%, which no one is saying, by the way.
	No one is saying the death rate at this point, the mortality rate, could be any more than .7%.
	Most people are saying it's really more like .1 to .5%.
	Okay.
	The stupid, crazy, anti-science deniers who said it was closer to the flu.
	0.1 versus 5% over here.
	Science, Fauci, all these folks with their projections.
	Take your little dot, put it on that sliding... What is this, a stick graph?
	What do you call it?
	We'll call it a graph.
	Just a graph.
	Guess what?
	The crazy anti-vaxxer, climate-denying, anti-science folks who said it's more comparable to the flu got it exponentially more correct than the experts.
	And of course, you should get vaccinated.
	I'm not an anti-vaxxer, of course.
	I'm not saying that there's no such thing as climate change.
	I'm saying you labeled these people as anti-science peasants who couldn't know.
	You should trust the experts.
	You guys were off by thousands.
	It's incredible, and the cat's really out of the bag on this.
	When are we done with this?
	How much longer does this charade need to go on, where people say, we have to stay closed, and we have to do this through May, and we have to keep our businesses shut down, and hospitals?
	And every time you see CNN up there, by the way, they're talking about, oh crap, here's another one.
	Because restaurants are closed, people aren't buying as much food from restaurants, and so the farmers are having problems now, and the supply chain is starting to break down.
	We really need to reopen the economy.
	It's a domino effect.
	Duh!
	There's a great video with some people from I think Los Angeles, two doctors, who talked about the patients that they've actually seen and they've conducted some antibody tests.
	And I think we have it up at lottowithcreditor.com.
	I will tell you this, right now in our neighborhood, okay, we all live in about the same neighborhood, we can go to Costco and go shopping, right?
	We can drive through or pick up at Shake Shack, at Five Guys, at Dunkin' Donuts, right?
	You can drive through or pick up.
	Dunkin', sorry.
	That's right.
	They want me to remove the donuts.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	You wear that around your neck for all time, okay?
	You contributed to this obesity epidemic, thus increasing the mortality rate of SARS and COVID.
	You own it.
	You will forever be Dunkin' Donuts.
	You know what?
	If nothing else, I'm gonna call you Donuts.
	So I can go to Costco, I can drive through Shake Shack, Five Guys, Taco Bell, Dunkin' Donuts, but I can't support my local bakery.
	I can't support my local mom-and-pop restaurant.
	You tell me how that makes sense.
	Yeah, it doesn't make sense at all.
	Especially when you can social distance in restaurants and you can sanitize stuff.
	I mean, God forbid, you're telling me the fork they're putting on my table isn't sanitized and I'm putting it in my mouth every other time I go to that restaurant?
	Yeah, CNN did a segment this morning about how this is all affecting black small business owners.
	It's affecting every small business owner.
	So we don't need to make this some sort of racial thing.
	This is a negative thing for people who can't.
	Everybody.
	Yeah, for everybody.
	And everybody's experiencing this at a different level, but small businesses are experiencing it at a high level.
	Isn't it kind of funny that right now they say this is affecting black people and minorities, and they want to make it a racial thing, but then if you just say, we've gotten in trouble where we've said, I've made jokes about, you know, sickle cell, and you report it like they catch sickle cell, like, ooh, that's racist.
	And that's a biological fact!
	It's a biological fact!
	And I know this, I'm French Canadian, I have Acadian blood.
	I didn't realize that there are so many hereditary diseases exclusive to Acadian bloodlines until I did genetic testing.
	It's the same with black people's sickle cell.
	Let's be honest, they don't really want to talk about genetic predispositions.
	They want to talk about food deserts and they want to talk about black business owners.
	They don't really want to talk about diseases that might affect people of a specific lineage, of a specific racial makeup.
	You think that might be a little helpful to know?
	I think it might be a little helpful to know.
	A little bit.
	No, don't talk about it.
	You've got a few little Grim Reaper looking cells inside you.
	They do.
	Those little sickles.
	Some people call it a sickle cell, I call it a sling cell.
	So let me give you a little bit of a coronavirus update here that I think is important.
	We didn't want to lead it with that because we thought Rake was more interesting.
	And I'm getting a little bit tired of coronavirus.
	I bet you this time... Man, we couldn't have timed our quarantine month more perfectly.
	Because after this, you guys will be free.
	And next show, I'm going to lick a popsicle stick and leave it on... Here, look.
	Anyone wants to get it over with?
	Wait, do you have the COVID?
	I'm pretty sure we all have the COVID.
	I'm pretty sure we all had coronavirus at some point.
	Early in the year.
	Early in the year.
	I'm pretty sure we all had it.
	Well, that's the problem.
	Anybody testing is tough.
	But you know what?
	The best thing to do right now is isolate the sick and the elderly and get it over with.
	Not medical!
	Whoa, whoa!
	Did you mean kill them?
	No!
	No!
	Let me get it over with!
	Oh, so you're saying, inject bleach into my temple.
	Yes, that is what I heard.
	Even Robert dangerously suggests.
	Yes.
	Don't even get me started on blood irradiation and all that stuff,
	because then people say, are you giving medical advice?
	No, I'm just saying it's an actual thing.
	It's real.
	It's a real thing.
	Just pointing it out.
	But OK, before I move on to the COVID update, Donald Trump, this is the kind of thing he does where he screws his supporters.
	Donald Trump's ego screws his supporters.
	He said I was being sarcastic.
	You were not being sarcastic.
	No.
	You said something that was reasonable, by the way, until you misspoke.
	I should have said, is there some way to get the disinfectant to like a cleaning in the lungs with a real doctor?
	Listen, you probably should have let the doctors do the speaking.
	You introduce the topic, bring out the expert.
	That's what these press house—press house, now I sound—press house briefings.
	If I were Donald Trump, I would say, press house briefings, and they would say, did you mean White House press briefings?
	No.
	Excuse me.
	I was being cute.
	And there's so many fevers they're changing all of it on the White House website to press house briefings.
	And so people have been coming back at us saying, like, do you regret saying what you said on Friday?
	No, I don't.
	I regret nothing.
	Because people were going out there saying, I think it was Governor Whitmer from Michigan saying, you absolutely should not drink Lysol.
	Find me a quote even remotely close to Donald Trump saying you need to drink Lysol.
	No, he didn't say that.
	What the media went forward with, what they used was completely, it was media malpractice, it was journalistic malpractice.
	It's totally taken out of context.
	That being said, as we said on Friday, Donald Trump sometimes speaks like an idiot.
	And for him to be defended by his supporters, saying the media has taken this out of context, which granted might have been a misspeak, he would rather lie and say, I was being sarcastic, than just own up that he made a mistake.
	That's a problem.
	Do you think that the media, the people in the media actually think that he means put Lysol in your veins.
	No, of course not.
	You don't think they think that?
	No.
	I think that they just are so blind that they actually don't understand what words are coming out.
	Like, they're trying to misinterpret it.
	So you actually think they're just... No, I don't think so.
	Okay.
	And I think someone at CNN called Lysol.
	And I think this is what... Did you hear that Donald Trump said that he should drink?
	And someone at Lysol went, what, what, what?
	And then released a statement because they don't want to be held liable.
	Well, I mean, and put it this way, a lot of people aren't watching the press briefings, a lot are, they had great ratings, but if you heard about this, most likely the only way that you heard about it was CNN saying something about injecting something into your body.
	Well, it wasn't just CNN, it made it all the way through the problem and then it gets carried online.
	CNN is inconsequential in that no one watches their ratings, but they still are a driver of course.
	But everybody else is reporting it, MSNBC, all over the web, right?
	And that's how people would have heard it, not from Donald Trump himself.
	So everyone is chloroquine lady?
	Yes.
	The entire media is the person we actually thought was stupid.
	Turns out she's a murderer.
	And by the way, that was total fake news, the idea that there have been increased calls to poison control?
	Not true.
	Really?
	Yeah, not true.
	Not true.
	Fake news.
	I think we can probably bring this up, actually, if I'm not mistaken.
	Yeah, we can bring this up as a fact check.
	We had it in here in the show map this morning, and then we decided to go... A different direction.
	Go the direction of RuPaul's Drag Race.
	Let's go through the COVID update, and then we'll pop a shot or with some stories from back in Detroit.
	So a new Israeli global study shows that this is something that's been across the board, and they can't necessarily explain it, that there's a rapid increase with coronavirus.
	It peaks in the sixth week, and then it declines in the eighth week, regardless of lockdown policies.
	And you've heard us talk about this quite a bit, because if you look at Sweden, they're not worse off.
	For example, they had no lockdown.
	And there's a reasonable difference between the two, where you should be able to split the difference.
	Where you either lock down everything and you quarantine the healthy, which makes no sense.
	Historically, you don't quarantine the healthy, you quarantine the sick.
	Then there's the other approach of Sweden where you don't do anything and you leave all schools open.
	You don't really change the way of life a whole bunch.
	I think there's a middle ground, which is you quarantine the sick, you quarantine the vulnerable, and you allow the healthy to go forward.
	Here's something else that's pretty interesting.
	William Briggs He actually wrote that flu, and we talked about this, flu pneumonia deaths are being misclassified as coronavirus deaths, and here's something that's really telling.
	We've talked about this, how all of a sudden flu deaths went to zero.
	Right.
	Right, just disappeared.
	Miraculous!
	Miraculously went to zero, but then a lot of people said, well maybe that was because of social distancing, and you heard me say, hold on a second, this is happening before social distancing in the sense that those flu deaths and pneumonia deaths went down in February or early March, okay?
	So that would have been before social distancing, even if it went all the way through mid-April.
	Social distancing wouldn't have really kicked in until about now, just to be clear.
	But the all-cause mortality death rate is significantly lower this year than last year. Yes, and
	this is going back to January.
	So what does that mean for a second? That means it's been trending down since January,
	long before lockdowns began, and it's only been declining more. I think we can bring this up
	here. This is from the William Briggs study. So that means all-cause mortality. What would that
	mean? That would mean flu, pneumonia, heart attack, stroke, cancer.
	Cancer.
	All-cause mortality is lower.
	Why?
	Because if any of those other comorbidities in any other year, which would be—oh, this is a stroke death, this is a heart attack death, this is a death due to complications with diabetes, this is a death due to complications with hypertension—are all being listed as COVID deaths, just like all flu.
	And pneumonia deaths are being listed as COVID deaths.
	It doesn't make any sense that this year our overall mortality rate is significantly lower, and it is significantly lower across the board on the all-cause mortality rate, unless, like we saw in Pennsylvania where they took just 200 COVID deaths off the books.
	Like you saw in New York on the flip side where they added 3,700 coronavirus deaths without being tested, by the way, they just assumed that it was present.
	And I understand there's some complications here where, well, if someone has cancer and
	they get, they're going through chemo and they're doing okay and then they get the flu,
	well maybe the flu did kill them.
	But there is a split, though, right?
	It's not all of them will go on the register, will be registered as a flu death.
	Typically, you go, well, hold on a second.
	What was the more severe condition?
	What was the condition that was more likely to kill someone?
	Is it the chemo?
	Is it the fact that this person has stage four melanoma?
	Or the fact that this person has the flu?
	No, what was going to kill them inevitably was the cancer.
	So they look at those.
	Our death rates in this country aren't all that accurate.
	And when you look at these numbers now that show us, okay, coronavirus peaks at six weeks and goes down by eight weeks regardless of containment.
	And then you look at the all-cause mortality rate being lower.
	That is something that should concern a lot of people because I think these books I'm not a doctor.
	I want to be very, very clear here.
	here not offering medical advice but the books are cooked.
	Yeah and it's not the doctors and nurses that are doing that it seems like the
	guidance that they're being given is either intentionally or unintentionally juicing
	up these numbers right from CDC or whoever whoever's putting out the
	guidelines on how to track these things yeah and you ask yourself like if these
	guys are pumping up the numbers why why are you doing that
	And I think Briggs actually makes the point down there.
	It's like, one of the possibilities is that their projections were so wrong, they're trying to nudge the numbers up a little bit.
	See, we're not as dumb as you think we are with our projections, right?
	And the other one is that it's just bad reporting, right?
	They're just doing a poor job of really classifying what people are dying from, right?
	I don't know which side it comes down on, but I don't think it's doctors and nurses that we should be frustrated.
	You're not saying that either, but I think somebody needs to look into why are we counting No, but there also is a financial incentive right now to list a death as a coronavirus-related death.
	If you look at some of the relief that's meant to go to hospitals, specifically some of it is allocated for coronavirus deaths.
	And we can fact check that.
	Reg can bring it up.
	This is something that was in USA Today.
	Yeah, you don't have to be a doctor to be able to do math.
	Right, it's actually a good thing that people outside of the medical community are checking on these numbers and going, oh, this seems a little strange.
	Yeah, right.
	And the cool thing, too, about this graph, and the reason I say cool is because it's great news if the Israel Times report is correct, because it peaks at six and dies down at eight.
	It was global.
	They looked at all of the different countries that had different responses to this virus, even to South Korea, Taiwan, places like that, and they put it with some of the most hard-hit.
	They used New York just as itself and not just the United States, and all of the graphs did that.
	All of them.
	Right.
	Across the entire planet.
	That was awesome.
	It was a great, great thing, because hopefully it just burns itself out.
	Right.
	And that's the arc.
	Well, listen, we know that it's killed by UV light.
	It is.
	We have the best sun.
	The absolute best sun.
	Oh, was that on a TV show?
	Let me bring that up again real quick.
	That's the overlay that, yeah, more patients, hospitals get paid more if patients are listed as COVID-19 on ventilators.
	That's right, specifically on ventilators right now.
	Oh, wow, yeah.
	And none of these, what was it, the USS Comfort?
	They just left.
	The ship left New York.
	They weren't even close to capacity with their beds.
	Almost all of these hospitals that have been built up, they haven't been used at all.
	Hospitals right now are furloughing and laying off workers.
	They're not full.
	They're not filled to capacity.
	So this whole flatten the curve Well, we did it.
	We may have flattened a curve that wasn't really going to happen because now we've destroyed an entire industry of healthcare workers.
	And unfortunately, you do have to go to the doctors who are actually treating patients.
	Listen, I'm not disrespecting Dr. Fauci at all.
	He hasn't seen a patient in 20 years.
	And the theoretical and the practical, what happens in the real world are very different things.
	And when you look at doctors who are actually treating patients right now on a grand scale, there does seem to be a chasm between doctors who are, now don't just take doctors in Lenox Hill, don't just take doctors in New York City, but doctors even in California, doctors in Wyoming, doctors in Texas.
	If you take what they are seeing and what is going on in their hospitals and compare it to the projections that you saw from the World Health Organization or what Dr. Fauci said was undeniable.
	Here's the thing, if you look at the, there is no Denying right now.
	Here's something about which there can be no disagreement.
	It wouldn't have been humanly possible for the United States to have 2.5 million deaths.
	It's not possible.
	It's not possible understanding the death rates that we understand now.
	It's not a possibility unless the entire population Consisting of 95-year-olds with diabetes and strict lung cancer.
	It's not a possibility.
	Well, going back to the sort of COVID hospital funding, most grants, most discoveries in science that are grant-based tend to happen right when the grant money is just about to run out.
	Yeah.
	Or at least, like, oh, we found something promising.
	What are you saying, Wade?
	I'm not tracking.
	We might need a little more money to check into XYZ.
	Right.
	And so, yeah, there is a profit motive, and it's clear.
	It's clear that it's being taken advantage of.
	By the way, his view's a little skewed, because he actually gets money from his sugar daddy named Grant.
	I do.
	Love you, Grant.
	And once the checks start running dry... Once he says the name.
	Yeah, he doesn't have to do a whole lot.
	You know, he just has to, like, dust the bookcase in a onesie.
	Well, I think it's the unintended consequences of this and when they pass the CARES, what is it, the CARES Act that they did for unemployment?
	There's PPP and then there's a CARES, so stop it.
	It basically, what is it called, moral hazard, right?
	You're trying to get people off of unemployment but you're paying them so much that there's no incentive for them to do The same thing can happen in hospital situations, lab studies, where you just incentivize some behavior and unfortunately it causes people to run that direction.
	That very well could be the case in hospitals.
	I don't know that it is.
	I think they just suck at making predictions like this.
	I think they're just not good.
	Medicine necessarily moves so cautiously.
	They were making predictions based on a 4-7% death rate.
	But there were people like us from the beginning.
	And by the way, it wasn't just based on a hunch.
	It was based on other epidemiologists who were working on the ground.
	We posted articles on the website where people were saying, this is far more prevalent than people realize.
	The mortality rate is far lower.
	These projections are incorrect.
	Now we know that the skeptics, the contrarians, were right.
	Let's be clear about that, because the skeptics, the contrarians, could be right on the idea that when the left tries to say, hey, they're just like the climate deniers, go, you know what?
	Yep, the people who said there's no way we're gonna have 2.5 million dead in the United States, there's no way, no how, I want you to remember that and go, he's the same guy who's saying that the Kyoto Protocol won't curb emissions because we shouldn't trust China.
	Yep, I'm that denier!
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I'm that guy!
	Put me in that category!
	Yep, I said no way 2.5 million deaths, no way 5-7% death rate, it's horseshit, I'm the same guy saying Montreal, what is it, Montreal Agreement, Kyoto Protocol, now it's the Paris Accord, no, sorry, Coyote Protocol Paris Accord.
	Yep, I'm the same denier.
	Now, just like with COVID, I didn't say it was a hoax.
	I was saying this is something that needs to be dealt with appropriately.
	There needs to be the appropriate scale in relation to the threat.
	That is exactly what we are saying about climate change.
	There needs to be an equal and appropriate response to the scale of the threat and shutting down the world economy.
	You know how difficult this has been, by the way?
	You know how difficult this has been right now for everyone here?
	We talk about the economy shutting it down.
	What do you think would happen if neo-environmentalists had their way globally?
	And these same people like AOC are saying, I think it's a great thing that oil is at a net negative.
	If these people had their way, what you're experiencing right now is actually child's play compared to what they would experience in the third world with the Green New Deal or the Kyoto Protocol actually being signed.
	Sorry, my bad Paris Accord.
	I keep forgetting what it is.
	It just keeps changing names.
	Let alone in the new world.
	You've been thrust out into the cold that AOC knows!
	You cannot imagine what would happen.
	So think, coronavirus, the leftist response, what happened to the economy, now apply that to the entire globe, that is the Paris Agreement.
	Put us all in the same boat!
	Yeah, we all know that the people who have made these bad predictions, who have been proved wrong publicly, are going to be around when there is some kind of second wave, or if there's some second wave, and they're going to be asked the same things.
	They're not going to lose their jobs.
	I think that's probably one of the most tragic things about this whole deception, is that it could happen again by the same people to the same audience.
	We have to hold these people accountable.
	Remember their names, and when they pop up again on your screen, remember, that's the guy who said it wrong.
	This is a perfect example of they're playing with somebody else's money.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Let's say someone here said, all right, listen, these are our projections for the profits for Ladderworth Crowder.
	And we said, OK, all right, we're going to hire some new people.
	We're going to make sure that we bring Quarter Black Garrett up.
	OK, we'll pay people a little bit more.
	We're going to get some health insurance going on here as opposed to a health sharing program.
	We're going to be, OK, good.
	And then someone goes, oh, wait, sorry, I was off by how much?
	Well, you're actually making 90% less profit.
	Oh!
	You're my guy who was supposed to project, so you're fired.
	But instead, someone who says 2.5 million deaths, which, by the way, could not have possibly been decreased by social distancing.
	We know that now.
	It's not because of social distancing.
	It's because your numbers were wrong.
	And now we're looking at under 60,000 deaths.
	You were off by it.
	What's the percentage on that?
	I mean, it's astronomical.
	Astronomical.
	I can't put a percentage on it because I'm not a math Asian.
	He's not here today.
	But that being said, it should be, oh, you're fired.
	But they're playing with our money.
	Our businesses are shut down.
	Not Fauci's, not AOC's.
	How about we put a pay freeze on everyone in the government right now?
	Senators, Congressmen.
	How about that?
	How about a pay freeze?
	How about they experience the same kind of freeze that we do?
	Okay, you know what?
	You get $1,200 a month.
	Ooh, nice.
	I like that.
	I think this is also the lesson for the general public is that this is the playbook, right?
	Next time something comes around, it doesn't have to be a global pandemic that they use, right?
	If government is bent on overreaching and growing, which is pretty much the only thing that government does, They can use the same thing and say, well, we have this threat called climate change that's going to kill 100,000 people this year, 200,000 next year.
	We have to forcibly close things down and make everybody do their part to avoid this catastrophic thing.
	It's the exact same thing.
	They can come out and say the exact same thing about climate change.
	I hate to interrupt you, I have to do a live read here for a sponsor.
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	So here's what we'll do.
	Do we have some chat to get to there, Gibbon?
	And then we'll close it out with Papa Crowder stories, but I want to do Jeff Goldblum before that.
	So do we have a couple of chats?
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Hit me with a couple of chats, Gerbils.
	There we go.
	Now I'm on.
	So this one comes from Jay.
	What are your thoughts of Twitter and YouTube forcing companies to take down their videos on UV light studies and devices they're developing to combat COVID-19?
	Is that a trick question?
	What do you think?
	Have you been watching the show?
	Just repeat the question back to him.
	Okay, here's one thing that I will say.
	I have to be very, very careful because I don't want to provide any misinformation.
	That being said, everyone here, you all know that we have a protocol that was given to us by a doctor with supplements that we take to try and protect ourselves and improve our immune system as best as possible.
	Dr. Phil, he's great.
	Yes, he's great.
	Now, I don't want to dispense any medical advice, but I will say this.
	Research coronavirus, go search what receptors they attack, look at the mechanism of action, and see if there are any supplements out there that could potentially help you with it.
	PubMed is a great portal.
	It's a great resource for you and talk with your doctor.
	There are things out there, but I can't say it at the risk of being banned.
	Now, that being said, UV light, blood irradiation, which is where you would actually irradiate some blood with UV light and then re-inject it into the body, so it gets carried around the entire bloodstream, is, I think it was referred to as the antibiotic Time Forgot.
	So before antibiotics, they used this.
	There are clinical studies that have shown that it works.
	In patients with hepatitis C, certain viruses.
	It reaches the clinical threshold for reducing the viral load.
	Now, and that's been done with many different viruses, and I'm not exactly sure infections entirely.
	We haven't done it on coronavirus.
	But the idea that getting UV light in any way into someone's blood as an effective mechanism of killing some kind of a pathogen is not new, it's not novel, and it's certainly not quackery.
	So the fact, now I'll tell you what is Quackery.
	Let me be clear.
	It's not wrong.
	Blood irradiation has been a technique that has been used quite a bit for a very long time.
	So it's not incorrect.
	I'll tell you what is incorrect.
	That coronavirus cannot be transmitted through human-to-human contact, which is what the World Health Organization tweeted out.
	So here's the problem.
	If we have to rely on the World Health Organization, and YouTube and Google and Facebook are going to be the arbiters of truth, and effectively with coronavirus, the World Health Organization is going to be their Snopes or their Washington Post, and they have verifiably gotten it wrong one, two, three, four times.
	No doubt!
	No doubt about it!
	They've gotten it wrong.
	That's a scary thing.
	Because we have to trust the authorities, who we know are wrong, and their minions, their lackeys, their toadies won't allow us to get out any other information in the face of the World Health Organization.
	What do you do with that?
	This is scary.
	Let me just say one other thing.
	One other thing that really, really scares me here.
	With radio, okay?
	And I think we have this.
	We can bring it up as an overlay.
	Reg can send it to you.
	I got a complaint from someone in Germany that it was a violation of German law.
	Oh, really?
	So now we have China, the government of China, the government of Pakistan, and I don't know if this was the government of Germany.
	But back with radio, we used to have to deal with the FCC.
	Okay.
	And it was kind of a game of cat and mouse where you could say, okay, crap head, but
	you can't say I took a crap.
	Silly rules, but we sort of would play and, you know, I'd dance up to the line when I
	was syndicated on radio.
	And we thought, man, the beauty of new media is we won't have those kinds of censors anymore.
	We won't have to worry about the FCC.
	But at least with the FCC, you knew who your enemy was at that point.
	Now it's actually far worse because you are censored by the outrage mob.
	Cancel culture just means society at large is the new FCC and they are far more stringent
	because you could get away with all kinds of jokes that might be offensive that the
	FCC didn't care about as long as you didn't say the naughty words.
	And the problem now too, I would compare that we've always been really concerned about our
	rights being taken away by government.
	Rightfully so, because historically, you look at the Church of England, historically, you look at the Romans, you look at the Greeks, you look at the Ottomans, you look at governments.
	Those were the most powerful entities that had the ability to take away your rights.
	But now I see, just like with radio and the FCC, the mob is actually far more dangerous.
	What's far scarier to me than the government's ability to take away your rights is the mob's demand that they do so.
	Now I'm not saying that all these people are Nazis.
	I want to be really clear.
	When we often say, how could that happen?
	How could World War II, how could the Holocaust happen?
	Well, hold on a second.
	Is it that crazy of a leap to go from, Officer!
	Officer!
	Officer!
	There's a mom with her son on the swing!
	Get her!
	Take her to jail!
	Take her at gunpoint to jail!
	Is it that far of a leap from that to, Uden!
	Officer!
	Jew!
	Jew!
	Someone is in a park with their child and you are going to call the cops on them?
	That's what's scary to me now.
	Not that the government does it, but that people demand it.
	The power of the mob is intensely terrifying to me.
	It is, and you have to make sure that if you're somebody out there, you have to speak against those kind of things, right?
	You don't just sit by to the person who called the police and just let them get away with it.
	That's socially not okay.
	I don't care if you're trying to stop what you think is a 10% killer pandemic, okay?
	We have rights, we have liberty, and if we give that up in this case, it's going to be taken from us forcibly later on down the road for some other Well, the point is it's being taken right now by a mob of people.
	It is.
	Bring that up.
	There are Karen's everywhere.
	Yeah, so this was the tweet.
	Can you read the tweet?
	I can't exactly see what my tweet was, but this is an official complaint from someone in Germany.
	Yeah, it says, hello, we have received a complaint regarding your account at S Crowder for the following content.
	Uh, the tweet, yeah.
	The tweet text is, it's becoming clear that, it's becoming clear that scarier than the government's ability to take away your rights is the power of the mob to demand it.
	Okay, and that was, they said it wasn't in violation with German law, but typically that usually comes from an official when they recognize, when they actually say it's not in violation of the law of this country, which by the way, Twitter, you can bring that down, is not a good enough standard, Twitter.
	I don't give a shit if it's a violation of German law, Chinese law, Pakistani law.
	You shouldn't be abiding by their laws.
	You should be abiding by the laws of the country that you founded.
	Because if your goal is to open up democracy and dialogue for everyone, you can't be beholden to China's law because guess what?
	They're murdering Hong Kong protesters, okay?
	Guess what?
	They're silencing and disappearing at whistleblowers.
	It's not enough to hide behind the law.
	You don't get to do that.
	You're an American company.
	That's the law you obey, dummies.
	Whether it's the FCC or the mob or just the general culture, it doesn't have any power if it can't get inside your head.
	So the only power that we have right now is just to not let that culture pull us.
	So the censorship culture or the culture of self-censorship where you're constantly having to second-guess yourself or self-censor yourself, that's the culture and you don't have to let that in your head.
	Right.
	Well, and a lot of the show does that.
	A lot of the show pushes back on the restrictions, right?
	I think there's sometimes where we do stuff that we wouldn't otherwise do because we're pushing back against these restrictions, going, no!
	I wouldn't necessarily always do this, but you said I can't.
	You don't have the power to say that, so guess what?
	I'm going to do an apology video of every offensive thing.
	I'm not touching you.
	You know what I mean?
	I'm not touching you.
	Exactly!
	But you're pushing back on the restrictions.
	And I'm sorry, guys.
	I sincerely apologize that I said, no way there's 2.5 million dead.
	I apologize that I said that several months ago and never walked it back.
	I am sorry.
	I am deeply sorry.
	I know how troubled you are.
	Here's another one.
	Speaking of which, let's get to something and then we'll have Pops Crowder with a great story from his days back in Detroit.
	But I love this.
	It's not necessarily something that you have to know this morning, but I want you to take it, put it in your chest pocket, and take it with you for all your days.
	Until Wednesday, where we have another story like this for you.
	Jeff Goldblum was on that.
	Is this show, is it RuPaul's Drag Race?
	If it's not that, then it's some version of RuPaul.
	It's some kind of a drag queen.
	I don't really know what a drag queen is anymore, honestly, when you consider that transgender, 90% of them don't get the bottom surgery.
	They don't get the top surgery.
	They don't go through hormone replacement.
	They just identify as a woman and they dress like a woman.
	What's the category?
	A drag queen just dresses like a woman.
	So I don't know.
	How am I supposed to know?
	Self-identity, man.
	And I have a story about a drag queen, actually, at a burlesque show with my wife.
	I'll tell that after.
	I'll tell it now.
	Edge of my seat, please!
	By the way, burlesque dancers... You can't say that and not tell the story!
	I will tell you the story.
	Burlesque dancers.
	Hold on a second.
	Who says no evidence so far that contracting coronavirus makes you immune to second infection?
	Oh, jeez.
	Okay.
	Well, we don't know that.
	That's true.
	But we do know that for at least a couple of months... Let me ask this question.
	Historically, does it typically mean that you have a better chance of fighting off a second wave of the virus?
	It means a better chance.
	That's not true with all viruses.
	I know, but they had to phrase it in the worst possible way.
	Yeah, I know.
	Who is a bunch of corrupt liars and YouTube, come at me.
	I think we might go a little late today, but my wife's idea was Valentine's Day when we were in Grand Rapids, Michigan to go to a burlesque show.
	Oh.
	Imagine my surprise.
	Now, I found out that burlesque show, it's basically, there's strippers who didn't make the cut.
	Oh.
	It's strippers with too many tattoos and it's like, it's rockabilly strippers.
	So, you know, they put on a little bit of Tiger Army and go out there and shake whatever's there and, you know, no one's the wiser because it's alternative.
	So, anyway, it was really gross.
	It's art.
	And there was unfortunately this lady who was a burlesque and she had nipple pasties, pasties, what do you call, pasties?
	I don't know.
	She had them on and it was really unfortunate because she was one of those very overweight women who managed to not have any In other words, she had the body of a fat woman, but the chest of Kevin James.
	And so it couldn't be less titillating.
	It was just really, really unfortunate.
	So this is going on, and I'm like, all right, for the last show.
	And then all of a sudden, they bring out whatever.
	Desiree, these stupid names that all these drag queens have.
	Desiree Rollingstone.
	And it's this 6'4", looking black linebacker with clown makeup.
	This person may not be transgender.
	It was just a burlesque show and it's a drag dance.
	Start singing, like, lip-syncing something.
	I don't even remember what it was, because I just didn't want anything to do with it.
	And then takes his little, uh, what do you call this?
	Boa?
	Boa!
	There you go.
	I knew you'd know that.
	So, boa.
	and starts going out into the audience.
	Oh no.
	Oh no.
	And makes a beeline for me.
	Now my wife and at the time a couple of friends were there and they're laughing, they think
	this is really funny.
	And to the point like the sort of drag queen could smell it on me like oh this is going
	to be funny I'm going to loosen him up.
	But it ended very quickly because I didn't give a face like oh I'm shy.
	This person came up with the drag queen rhinestone, whatever, Desiree Rhinestone I think might have been the name.
	Something along those lines.
	Don't Google this.
	It could have been desirable jewel, I don't know.
	Topaz.
	Oh, topaz, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's too late.
	You know, take your pick.
	It's already out.
	But comes out and starts, you know, doing the, happy birthday, Mr. President, to me.
	But it stops.
	And I'll tell you exactly why.
	This person could read on my face.
	And the whole room got uncomfortable.
	It wasn't like this.
	You know, this person comes out with a bow and me, you know, something like this, like, oh.
	No.
	What happened was this person made a beeline to me.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Happy birthday.
	Starts pointing at me.
	And the audience starts going, what?
	And they're clapping.
	But my face, once this Desiree rhinestone came up, my face wasn't like, my face was like this, apparently my wife described it afterwards, I was... This shit.
	Like, so disgusted.
	Why am I here?
	He just did this, like, on a trail to my shoulder and went on to the next guy.
	I'm talking about the one behind you.
	My wife said it was only funny because the whole audience was like, woo!
	Go on to the next one!
	There could be a hate crime.
	I've seen you walk out of movies for far less, sir.
	You should have gotten up and left.
	So that was my experience with a drag queen story time.
	But this was a drag... They read Where the Wild Things Are.
	sorry we've been all sleeping a big pile. Oh that's disgusting. So...
	So Jeff Goldblum was on some kind of a drag queen show.
	I don't know if it was RuPaul or what.
	I don't want to get it wrong and offend the drag queen community, which I understand is different from the transgender community.
	Maybe.
	But this spurred outrage from people for being Islamophobic, and I just—it is a combination of wondrous things.
	Roll clip.
	Are you religious, may I ask?
	I'm not, and to be honest, this outfit really represents the importance that visibility for people of religious minorities need to have in this country.
	Isn't this an interesting wrinkle, though?
	Is there something in that religion that is anti-homosexuality and anti-woman?
	Does that complicate the issue?
	I'm just raising it, thinking out loud, and maybe being stupid, but what do you think?
	No, no, I think, you know, drag has always shaken the tree, so to speak, and there are so many different layers to this presentation, and if it was ever going to be done, this is the stage to do it.
	It's a complex issue.
	I have my own misgivings about the way that LGBT people are treated in the Middle East, and at the same time, I am one.
	Well, no, you're one here.
	Over there, you'd just be dead.
	He says that like he's coming out, like, yeah, we know.
	Anyway, you're also in whiteface, so, okay?
	Don't think that just because you toss on a dress and a couple of sparkles that you get to appropriate my non-existent culture, because let's be honest, I don't really have one.
	I just love Jeff Goldblum.
	Oh, and isn't this an interesting wrinkle?
	And it seems that you've had to use some double-sided tape because a penis finds a way.
	He doesn't even realize that he's stepping into the Twitter hate mob.
	It's entirely logical.
	It's a reasonable question.
	No one would have batted an eye if this person came out and said, I'm Mormon.
	They would be like, oh, well, how does that work when you're part of a very conservative... It's not Islamophobic.
	It's completely accurate.
	It's Islam-accurate, right?
	It's exactly what their religion would do to this person if they were in that country.
	He's like, huh.
	Well, let me be really clear.
	Some fast facts here.
	Obviously, like the Bible, the Quran condemns people of Sodom for their homosexuality.
	So I want to be really clear.
	Now, that's a little bit different that the Bible.
	The Quran doesn't outline specific punishment, but we've talked about this before.
	You look at various Hadiths.
	Penalties for homosexuality ranging from beatings, to life imprisonment, to being thrown from buildings.
	They'll beat the gay out of you, they think.
	Yes.
	Here's another one.
	Saudi Arabia recently just beheaded five men for being gay.
	And Iran and Yemen also hold homosexuality is punishable by death.
	So you can find the most red state you can imagine.
	Go on down to Idaho and find me someone there who's going to throw five gay men off of rooftops.
	That's a slow week.
	It's a big wrinkle.
	But you're mad with Jeff Goldblum for bringing it up.
	Yeah.
	When he says, huh.
	He didn't even actually say it.
	Isn't this an interesting wrinkle?
	He just asked the question, like, are you practicing in this religion at all?
	And he's like, huh, that's really interesting that they would do that.
	He just inquisitively asked the question.
	I'm surprised that you're not dead.
	How did you make it out?
	Well, for some reason it reminds me of the—so there's some UK Democrat—Liberal Democrat politician doing fasting during Ramadan.
	So it's like, what does this person on RuPaul's Drag Race and the politician fasting during Ramadan—what do they think they're doing?
	Is this helping them in some way?
	Is this helping Muslims?
	Identifying with culture?
	Really, they're just taking on the religion and acting like it's some kind of comment?
	Right.
	Yeah, well, I would have a lot more respect if they would just come out and say, yeah, it's pretty much a hellhole over there right now.
	They kill anybody they think might be gay.
	Well, this is also the idea of these people are, and these people, I mean the LGBTQAIP community, are bullies.
	Now, what do I mean?
	They pick a fight where they know someone can't fight back.
	They put on an American flag burka with rhinestones as a drag queen slash transgender, something they would never dream of doing from their homeland that they identify with as a religious minority or from the Middle East.
	They do it here in the United States so that they can belittle, character assassinate, denigrate people like Jeff Goldblum for bringing up a totally fair question.
	That's a bully!
	They know that they have the pulpit here.
	They are doing something.
	They would never punch up and do this in the Middle East.
	They would never go and do that in Iran or Yemen or Saudi Arabia.
	But they'll do it here in the United States and bring the Twitter mob with them against Jeff Goldblum because why?
	They know that there are no repercussions for it.
	They know that there's no accountability for it.
	You go do this.
	Go do this in the public square right now, in Palestine, in Yemen, in Saudi Arabia, in Pakistan.
	Hell, you know what?
	Do it in Qatar.
	See how it ends up for you.
	Just record it for us, please.
	Jeff Goldblum gives us something like reason in this whole scenario.
	And then the person, the guy in the burqa is just like, you know what?
	I had my stupid thing I wanted to do.
	Jeff Goldblum, isn't that good enough for you?
	Can I just do my stupid thing?
	He doesn't know what he's doing.
	He doesn't know why he's doing what he's doing.
	The guy said, you know, I don't really like how they're treated.
	Why don't you think about that?
	It seems like nobody was offended.
	Jeff Goldblum felt like he was wading into really unsettled waters and was like, I don't know, am I being stupid here?
	And they're like, no, no, no, you're not.
	But now the Twitter outrage mob is like, no, we are offended for this person, even though they aren't.
	We're reporting a crime that was committed against them that they don't even think happened.
	Right.
	It doesn't make any sense to me why this is a thing.
	Oh, it makes perfect sense to me.
	I just thought that was... I know we have to offer... I just wanted you to see that clip.
	The whole setup was for the clip.
	Because you can see he starts off thinking like, oh, I'm a clever guy.
	This is insightful.
	And then as he's talking, he immediately wishes he can take it back.
	Oh, isn't this a clever wrinkle here?
	No, no, no.
	I mean, maybe I'm stupid.
	Scrotum?
	You have a wrinkly scrotum?
	No.
	This is not gonna end well.
	It's been real.
	Has this already been posted on Twitter?
	It has.
	Okay.
	Yeah, so he thinks he's being woke, but he's not woke enough for everybody.
	When you get woked in the woke...
	Which is amazing.
	He's not woke enough in trying to bring up the idea.
	He's trying to protect people like that from being crucified.
	Right, yeah.
	It's like a sport over there.
	You can hit like five bullseyes in a row.
	People work out to throw people off of a building.
	They decapitate them before the soccer game as a warm-up act.
	Yes!
	How do you get the crab going?
	That's the middler.
	The MC comes out with their national anthem.
	I don't know exactly what it is.
	And then the middler is with a sickle.
	Now on to the real show.
	Soccer.
	Shut up, Wade!
	At halftime, if they kick the drag queen's head into the net, they get a free Slurpee.
	One dollar off on hot dogs, everybody.
	And Shaq always misses those drag queen head penalty kicks.
	By the way, we're going to bring out Pop Squad in a little bit.
	Hit the notification bell.
	Hit all notifications if you're subscribed on YouTube.
	Subscriptions don't mean a whole lot.
	And if you can't be bothered to do that...
	We just have new videos that go up every single weeknight at the YouTube channel, Steven Crowder, 8 p.m.
	Eastern, and please do consider joining Mug Club this entire month.
	The rest of the month, promo code QUARANTINE, $30 off.
	LottoCrowder.com slash Mug Club.
	And the last day is going to be Thursday, big ol' live stream.
	But now actually a lot of you have said you would love to hear some more stories from
	My a second wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait pops wait hold so I raised in Detroit Detroit proper
	And when he's been the show you guys know him you love him so it's time for some stories from Papa Crowder
	When you do me, bitch, I'll fuck. Throw your hands in the air, if you's a-
	a true player. Oh geez I had no idea how short that was.
	All right there you go. I appreciate it. Well it's the copyright. Oh okay. Well thank you father. I appreciate the
	flagrant disregard for that. Hold on a second. Hold on.
	Someone else. All right well hopefully this is going to be a good story here. I have no idea if we're going to hear
	anything good or not. Geez how the technology works. I should be. Wow. This is like showing your parents how to
	use an iPhone for the first time right. Headphones you can hear.
	Now you push the button, son, right?
	Before we go into a story with my father, do we have one more chat?
	Maybe my dad can answer one, too.
	Yeah, we got one more chat.
	You can't say that on YouTube, but you might need to angle that more toward you, Darren.
	The audio guy's right here.
	This is my fault.
	He's right there, but it's really your fault.
	Talk into where the microphone is!
	Oh, I see how that works.
	Did we ask Bernie Sanders on the show, or what?
	The closer it gets, the more you can hear.
	Huh?
	Why'd I stop?
	You played Joe Biden in sketches.
	You aren't actually.
	That's true.
	Alright, let's see a chat here.
	I'm feeling uncomfortable.
	All right, so this one comes to us from Tower Cube.
	Tower Cube.
	Good morning, Mukla Dalma.
	Oh, you paused on that one.
	My question for you is simple.
	What's going to happen in North Korea now that Kim Jong-un is MIA?
	How does this affect the West?
	I don't really know that it affects the West.
	What concerns me is, I will say this, because of sort of the, I guess, sort of the, what I'm trying to think.
	The turbulent waters with China, shall we say?
	And their relationship with North Korea.
	It does worry me that this is happening right now.
	But obviously, I was elated to hear that Kim Jong-un is actually the most alive and well person.
	Yes, he is.
	There is.
	That's what they released.
	I don't know who's following up behind him, but I do know the doctor that the Japanese newspaper said called him obese.
	Didn't you say his sister is worse?
	Isn't that the deal?
	She might actually...
	That's what I've heard.
	I don't know who's following up behind him, but I do know the doctor that the Japanese
	newspaper said called him obese.
	He's done.
	Oh.
	Didn't know how to operate on obese men.
	Whoops.
	That guy's a little nervous.
	They said he's food and nervous.
	All that stuff.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	All that Adipose stuff.
	Well, it seems to me I can put in a stint if I can't find it.
	The deity is very, very fat.
	There's so much of Dear Leader.
	I haven't operated on pork cadavers since my residency, so now it's almost like having a frog with a cotton ball.
	It's been a long time.
	Long time since I've done this.
	But I'm sure he's dead, and you know, he's fat.
	Very fat.
	I've heard that his sister might step in, which she's apparently terrified.
	He was worse than his father.
	Yeah, he was worse than his father.
	He didn't sound worse than his father initially, though.
	Like, everybody thought, alright, maybe he's gonna be a little more moderate.
	No, he wanted the fame.
	He killed the uncle.
	His dad wanted to be, you know, a little more... His dad wanted to be Suge Knight, and he wanted to be, like, Tupac.
	Yeah.
	That's what he wanted.
	Yeah.
	We all understand.
	Hear a little ghetto gospel, those who will to follow me.
	Suge Knight's way worse.
	This is a reference.
	Most welcome with my hands.
	This is a reference for our audience.
	Are these famous people?
	He wanted to pull the strings behind the scenes, his dad.
	And Kim Jong-un wanted the notoriety, so he was willing to try and be more brutal and develop a reputation.
	And then if, potentially, let's say his sister, then you have a girl in North Korea who's trying to prove something, and she has a lot to prove because they're treating her like crap.
	Well, I mean, does she like Dennis Rodman as well?
	I have no idea.
	I really hope so.
	Guarantee you he'd take a crack at her.
	He probably has.
	Wow.
	That's why he went over there in the first place.
	I mean, come on, let's be honest.
	You think this guy wouldn't like to have an oon on his bedpost as a notch?
	You're talking about a guy who has Carmen Electra, Vivia A. Fox, and Whoopi Goldberg.
	This is not a guy who discriminates.
	It's a wide swath there.
	Madonna.
	Madonna.
	Yeah, you know what, though?
	I don't know how much... Whoopi.
	You go Carmen Electra to Whoopi.
	Maybe he just did to see if he could.
	The list starts to fall off a little bit.
	I get, like, not having a type.
	Look, man, I was in a slump.
	We all got them times, you know?
	You know, it was hard, it was tough, man.
	How Rodman got his groove back.
	This is like Cisdirect era whoopee, right?
	Well, I don't know that that helps.
	I don't know if it's free or... I don't know, but gosh.
	I'm trying to help the guy.
	Think about that for a second.
	Detective Rex?
	You're one of the best basketball players of all time and you're getting Ted Danson's sloppy seconds.
	Cheers!
	So we do have to get going.
	We will see you obviously tonight.
	We'll see you tonight.
	What do we have?
	We have Life Advice tonight, and then of course tomorrow we have a full, just a full normal show.
	Dave Rubin's gonna be on the show.
	And then more Good Morning Mud Club.
	But Papa Crowder, you know, people have been saying they want to hear some of your stories, and I kind of touched upon this briefly before, but I wanted you to be able to tell it.
	So first off, set the stage for people who don't know.
	You were born, you were raised in Detroit.
	Born in California, raised in Detroit.
	Born in California on an Air Force base, came to Detroit before I even knew it.
	So a year, two years?
	A year.
	And was it Detroit?
	Was it Mount Pleasant?
	No, not a suburb.
	The D. The middle of hell.
	But wait, before I go through this, so Detroit, but yes, but we'll go back to it.
	Tell them the story that you told me about the guy at Kroger.
	Oh, that's a classic.
	Yesterday, I go to Kroger, and it was about 60-40% people wearing masks a week ago.
	Now it's almost 100%.
	Employees, patrons, everybody's walking around in masks.
	And I go through and I do my self-checkout at one end.
	Coming out of the store, everybody's got masks, and at the self-check at the exit is a guy about 6'6", 300 pounds, with a lit stogie in his cheek, scanning his stuff with a hearty, screw you, to all things out there.
	A series of decisions!
	Tucked back in there, and he's just like a mosquito chaser.
	When you told me that, I said, wait, wait, wait.
	I said, where was this?
	Inside Kroger.
	Inside Kroger?
	Smokin' a stogie.
	He brought the cigar with him, stuck it in the cup holder, drove to the garage.
	There are so many statements being made, Des.
	I think that's a guy who probably had a fight with his wife, and was just looking for someone else to, like, come at him.
	Like, have you ever had those moments where you have a fight with your family, and you're just out there, and you're like, alright, I don't care anymore.
	Someone.
	I don't care.
	I'll get milk and eggs, honey, but I'm takin' my stogie, dammit.
	Lit cigar, and no one said a word, you said.
	No, he was a mountain of a man.
	He didn't care.
	There's no stopping him.
	I'm going to scan this.
	Chuck it in the bag.
	Didn't care.
	I want to meet that man.
	So you were raised in Detroit proper.
	I'm always on for the Detroit bits.
	No, I just wanted people to know.
	So you were raised in Detroit because a lot of times people say they're from Detroit but they're not really from Detroit.
	And then you played hockey at a very high level.
	Well, you played at U of M. Very high level.
	My uncle played hockey, but not nearly as a high level.
	My older brother.
	Your older brother, my uncle, played hockey.
	And you were both pretty athletic.
	I mean, back then it was unheard of for people to be training and living the kind of life that you did.
	You were very into it.
	That's true.
	It was a focus.
	I wasn't a guy that played a lot of sports.
	I played one as best I could, so I prepared for it.
	Well, he says that.
	But then I remember we went to the batting cages in Grand Bend, Ontario, and we had some people there.
	Family, friends, lovely, but they did baseball.
	Wrong.
	No, they did baseball.
	Not professionally, but they played very high-level ball.
	And my dad was like, how do I work?
	So he's being humble here.
	I didn't get any of these athletic genes, by the way.
	He kept them all for himself.
	He kept them all for himself.
	But he was very good at it.
	Well, he says that, but other kids are maybe into Little League baseball or football or whatever.
	Stephen wanted to do stand-up when he was four.
	Yeah, I know.
	He was doing Seinfeld impressions.
	That was a flop.
	But he's great at jiu-jitsu.
	He doesn't brag on himself enough.
	I will.
	Everyone knows.
	He's high, high level at that.
	But even Brendan tore your biceps.
	I'm getting uncomfortable here.
	So anyway, but the point is, so you were doing this, and then contrast that with your father.
	Let people know about your dad to set up this story.
	Your dad is not an athlete.
	Well, they didn't play sports.
	He had to go out and earn a living, right?
	And he was career military.
	Makes sense.
	He had to fight world wars!
	He was a career fighter pilot.
	That's all he ever did.
	You want me to tell the story about when he came home one day?
	Oh, no, but tell us the story about your dad.
	Like, in general, he was a guy who didn't exercise at all, didn't play sports.
	6'2", maybe 230, 235.
	Smoked.
	Smoked, of course.
	Drank.
	Drank, sure.
	Drank a lot every night.
	Sure, guilty.
	He was at the Admirals Club, the actual Admirals Club.
	No, the officers club.
	The officers club.
	At the base.
	Yeah, at the base, where he would have several whiskeys, sometimes before flying.
	He claimed he was a better pilot after a scotch.
	Now, I would tell him, science is against you.
	I'm better.
	I'm sharper.
	Air to air, I'm on my game with one scotch.
	So this is what's flying over your head, folks.
	He was flying every day.
	He wasn't a guy who was training pilots.
	He was flying every day.
	He was a full colonel.
	Very high level.
	But again, I just want to set the stage.
	Now, contrast your brother at the time.
	How old?
	Older brother, about 18.
	So he's playing junior hockey and he's really good.
	He's pretty high level at that point and just very athletic.
	Very angry, too, because he had a late growth spurt.
	Yeah, he had a small man's complex and a big guy's body.
	It's a bad combination.
	What did he say in his driver's license?
	At 16, he was 5'6", 130, and he was lying about that an inch and 10 pounds.
	So by 18, he's 6'2", 195-ish or so, playing junior hockey.
	So fast, but he's still acting like the guy's being knocked around as a kid.
	You can't do that to me attitude, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so my dad comes home one day from the base after a day of flying, and who knows at the officer's club how many scotches.
	And we're out playing in the neighborhood.
	All the kids are out there.
	And it's kind of like, picture Sandlot.
	Kids everywhere.
	Hanging out.
	And my older brother, probably shouldn't have been playing with the younger kids, but he was out there.
	You know, kind of cocky.
	The big bully in the neighborhood.
	So he's out there.
	The old boy comes home.
	I think he was driving the red GTO at that time.
	And he's wearing what they call, pilots call, the green bag.
	You guys wore it during the sketch, the Top Gun sketch.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	One zipper up the front, pockets on the legs, and in those pockets goes your keys, your watch, your change.
	Your whiskey rocks.
	So your lower legs are encumbered with all your stuff.
	You know, you've got patches up here, but you don't carry a lot up here.
	So he comes, piles out of the car, and my cocky older brother says, because we were racing up and down the street, hey old man, let's see what you got.
	My dad crushes out a cigarette, he's about 50 at this point, full colonel, just left the officers club, crushed out a cigarette, who knows how many that day, and he lines up and they say, from here to that car, which is, you know, our street wasn't that long.
	Hold on a second, but there's also, he was, what was he, what shoes was he wearing?
	Oh, of course, combat boots.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, flight boots.
	A little bit different, but flight boots.
	Track shoes, yeah.
	Yeah, flight boots.
	My brother, you gotta think, an 18 year old boy, he's near his peak, right, he's probably, High-level hockey player.
	Athletic.
	Great shape.
	Weight training.
	Sure.
	So they line up, and my brother goes into some silly track stance or something at the line.
	You know, he's all ready to explode.
	Infinite garbage.
	Yeah.
	And the old boy just kind of, as I said, crushes one out, stands in line, says, someone say go, and he takes off.
	It wasn't even close.
	He beat my brother by at least a house and a half.
	Wow.
	So I m-m-m-moked him.
	Oh my gosh.
	Every kid in the neighborhood.
	But he knew how to handle the dramatic.
	He didn't come back and fist bump or beat his chest.
	He just walked off into the house.
	It was just so glorious.
	Lit up another cigarette.
	Such a thorough beating.
	Such a thorough beat down.
	Witnessed by the whole neighborhood.
	And all you hear is this jingling of keys.
	As he just takes off down the street.
	And then my uncle, sorry, your brother didn't ask for a rematch.
	No, humiliated.
	Totally humiliated.
	Durst not challenge him anymore.
	Well, thank you so much.
	It's boring for anyone else, but in the family it's a funny story.
	These are stories that I always love.
	Next time we'll have you tell the one where you get a dart put in your head and try to lock yourself in the bathroom so that he could keep it in his head until his parents got home.
	I'm following past season tranny jokes with that.
	Thank you so much, everybody.
	We will see you tonight.
	And of course, use the promo code quarantine at lettucecutter.com slash mug club.
	You get $30 off.
	We hope that we've been of service to you.
	Thank you for tuning in.

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