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April 3, 2020 - Louder with Crowder
01:30:21
CHLOROQUINE LADY BOMBSHELL! What the Media IGNORED | #3 Good Morning MugClub
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Time Text
What do you think?
I think it's a great idea.
Find thoughts of love and affection.
Y'know we'll see you next time.
Well, just this.
I hope everything turns out okay.
We empty out all the money in the cash register And Mr. Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen And Mr. Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
Look at this Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
And Mr. Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
Captain Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Duncan Duncan Jen
Mr. Duncan Jen Take the prank
Duncan Jen I broke your wind
Duncan Jen And Mr. Duncan Jen
I have one Duncan Jen
Take the prank Duncan Jen
I found out Duncan Jen
Hold it right there You did give him one
Mr. Duncan Jen My own money is bothering me
I have one Where was he?
Kitten Goucher
A TV Where do I buy the tissues?
You did give him one Mr. Duncan Jen
My own money is bothering me I have one
Where was he?
Kitten Goucher
A TV Turtle dove
Yeah Mr. Duncan Jen
Duncan Jen Duncan Jen
Mr. Duncan Jen My own money is bothering me
I have one Where was he?
Kitten Goucher
A TV Where do I buy the tissues?
Yeah Mr. Duncan Jen
My own money is bothering me I have one
Where was he?
Kitten Goucher
A TV Where do I buy the tissues?
That was very nice We emptied out all the money in the cash register
Mr. Dump and Don't She the Pet Dump and Don't She the Pet
Mr. Dump and Don't She the Pet Mr. Dump and Don't She the Pet
Mr. Dump and Don't She the Pet Oh
Oh Sorry, I'm just breathing out
I'll tell you the story.
I almost pooped my pants this morning.
Oh, wow.
This is kind of a right.
We have Dinesh D'Souza before I get into it.
Nice.
We have Dinesh D'Souza on the show.
The quarantine is the promo code quarantine.
$30 off.
This is Mug Club Quarantine.
Hashtag Mug Club Quarantine.
All month, we're giving everything away for free in front of the paywall so you know what it is that you missed behind the paywall over there at the Blaze, as well as three more morning shows because we know that you're lonely and many of you live very sad lives.
I'm hearing the buzzing.
Is the fan on?
It's just the fan, yeah.
Turn the AC up.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, also the AC wasn't working.
We have Dinesh D'Souza on the show, by the way.
Yeah, boom!
And we have an exclusive today.
An exclusive story that involves, I think, possibly one of the most lascivious, outrageous media cover-ups I can think of in relation to the coronavirus.
Not the virus!
The virus is not a hoax.
The virus is real, OK?
Not selling any kind of colloidal minerals.
But!
I cover up with some stories as they relate to the virus.
Gerald Morgan is here this morning.
Yes.
And Garrett is here this morning.
How are you?
You were looking back like you were panicking.
Did something happen there?
Oh, his microphone's on.
I panic all the time.
It's my job.
Are we good?
I did that wrong.
Yeah, no.
It's okay.
I'm just generally panicked about life.
Yes, it's true.
I'm just a panicked person.
Okay.
This is him normally in the morning.
You're like that bug in A Bug's Life, but it was the grasshopper, and it was the voice of the guy from Spin City and Cousin Andy.
Yeah.
Incurb your enthusiasm.
Yes, I am like that bug.
You are that bug.
And I'm hearing that buzz right now in the studio, which as long as everyone listening is fine.
By the way, we'll be taking your chat, too.
So live chat, only available on the Blaze.
That's the one thing that's still exclusive to the Blaze.
Before we get to our exclusive story... Okay, spoiler alert.
It's the fish tank cleaner drinking lady!
Everything you've heard is a lie.
More importantly, the media knows it's a lie.
There's some info that you know, some info that you don't.
We're going to get to all of that.
But first, I believe we have our traffic correspondent.
And it's time for the Traffic Report with Thomas Finnegan.
Mr. Finnegan, can you let us know what is going on today as far as people with their
morning commute?
Good morning, Steven.
Your commute is all clear from all directions.
That's nice.
What?
I just tripped on that last sock that was piled up for Monday.
Oh god, there's a sock pile up.
Is there anything else that we need to know about there, Finnegan?
That, that, ouch.
That's why you got to wear your mask.
This has been the Traffic Report with Thomas Finnegan.
Thank you very much.
And by the way, you can go to livewithcrowder.com.com to see the live shows, live streaming next
Tuesday, live streaming with Jon.
You're not usually an early riser there, G Morgan.
I am an early riser.
What are you talking about?
I normally get up early.
I just never wear PJs.
Oh really?
I just walk around naked.
Well, that's fine.
The reason I'm actually tossing to you is because I need to carry this for 30 seconds
while I drink this brand X Antacna.
Fantastic.
Brand X, because they aren't sponsors of the show.
Just tape it up and go from there.
That seems like a needlessly long intro.
Pardon my language, I might shit myself.
I might shit myself right now on this program.
That would make for good TV.
It would make for great TV.
It is the morning.
I'm fine, but it's one of those things where after, you know, there's a gut inflammation where when you walk, it's like, oh god.
Yeah, exactly.
Be careful just sitting up right now.
You could do it, and we wouldn't know for a little bit.
Like, it would smell eventually, but... I mean, we'd have to wait for the chair down.
There's a very distinct combination with human waste and cotton.
And I've told that story because of my brother.
And cotton.
No, it's a different aroma.
Cotton is the x-factor.
No, it is.
I swear to you, it is.
I don't know the biochemical reaction that happens.
Hey, maybe we can see Sanjay Gupta's.
Maybe he knows.
He's a doctor, right?
Yeah, I don't think he's talking about that.
It's not so much to protect you from getting the virus.
It's to protect other people.
Oh, that's right.
They're talking about masks.
We'll talk about that later on as well.
We've been championing this for a long time.
Origin Maine, actually, Jaco Willinks works with them.
They do jiu-jitsu gis and jeans.
They are selling masks right now, which we use here in the studio if we're in close proximity, like if we have to be doing a sketch or something.
They said, you don't need masks, but our health care workers need masks.
And now they're saying, eh, probably a good idea to wear masks.
So we are going, oh, there's Brendan.
Is that him live right now?
That's him live right now.
Hey, Brendan!
Even Brendan, I appreciate you wearing the mask, buddy.
Good.
Looks like he's hard at work.
I didn't know we had that live camera.
We don't usually do this in the Morning Story, and I want to hear your thoughts, your questions, because there's going to be a follow-up to this.
This is a scoop.
This is an exclusive.
So everyone there, get ready to clip this, because everyone's going to run this like it's hot and act as though it was their idea, because it's a shame that a late-night comedy show, slash for the month of April, morning drive show, is doing the work that the media is not doing.
Shameful.
Does everyone out there, you remember the fish tank cleaner lady?
Chloroquine, of course.
Chloroquine, the lady who drank the... Hold on a second, my headphones are a little high.
That might be why I'm hearing the buzzing.
Okay, perfect.
Everyone there, you remember the fish tank cleaner lady?
She drank koi... koi pond.
She drank... Everyone remembers the fish tank... Clip it.
Clip it now.
Crowder Bits, by the way.
Youtube.com slash Crowder Bits.
Crowder Bits.
Everyone remembers the lady who drank fish tank cleaner, right?
Oh yeah, sis.
Koi pond cleaner.
I didn't say koi.
Koi pond cleaner.
You remember the story that we heard?
The story that we all heard and was covered in most major news outlets, both on television and publications, was that she heard a press briefing from Donald Trump touting the benefits of chloroquine, which is medication that can be prescribed by a doctor.
Therefore, because she trusted everything Donald Trump said, she and her husband, they both drank it, and he died, unfortunately, a tragedy.
She didn't.
And then she had some words on mainstream media for everyone else.
This was the story.
This is how it was covered.
Let's go to the clip.
Did you see the president's press conference?
Where did you hear about?
Yeah, we saw his press conference.
It was on a lot, actually.
And then what?
It was on a lot, actually.
I had it in my house because I used to have koi fish.
What would be your message to the American public?
Oh my god, don't take anything.
Don't leave anything.
Okay, so here's the thing and I want, let me make some of this is absolutely 100% true that we have, and then I will offer my opinion.
Okay.
The truth is we know that it's a sham that she hates president Donald Trump.
Right?
So at the very least, this was a fake story on that front.
So you probably already know, and I am going to be looking down to make sure that I get this correctly.
She was obviously a prolific Democrat donor.
She donated to Hillary Clinton in 2016.
We were able to confirm her identity and these reports.
Okay.
This has been released publicly.
Absolutely.
Something I haven't seen covered anywhere else, though I don't know that nowhere else has covered it.
She specifically donated to non-profits that were progressive sort of science non-profits.
Basically, if you read their mission statement, it was the agenda, the mission was to counteract the anti-science agenda, the anti-medicine agenda of the conservative right.
I thought it was to make Kloypon cleaner.
Like chloroquine.
So, you know that.
What you don't know, okay, and is exclusive here.
The same woman, I think we have an overlay here, on social media called President Trump a psycho prez.
She called him a psycho president and she has a history of violent behavior.
That sounds bad.
This idea is, you're picturing her, the media has presented her as a pro-Trump middle American.
She just trusted Trump and her and her husband were drinking fish tank cleaner, holding each other like the couple in Titanic.
The truth is, she wanted to divorce her husband.
So when she was discussing divorcing her husband in 2001, she attacked him, was arrested, was charged with domestic abuse assault, though eventually she was found not guilty.
She still talked about wanting to divorce him in 2012 and said, quote, I am furious all the time.
She reiterated it in a 2013 court case.
Now, some of this has been tweeted out.
Some of this information has been tweeted out, but we were able to confirm some of these other sources.
With two separate sources.
One of them being a lawsuit that people sort of covered, but they missed the assault case where she filed against a company, I believe it was John Deere Tractor, where she worked for before.
I don't know exactly why she sued them, but that's where the assault was mentioned.
Because her real name wasn't used in any of the stories.
There we go.
Okay.
And then the other one is we have some exclusive access to social media, and I had this corroborated with some folks in law enforcement.
I looked it up, so she filed for chapter... I know when she filed for bankruptcy, some information that's not necessarily relevant, but it did serve to confirm this case.
Now here's the deal.
We made sure to try and redact all the names.
I obviously don't want to dox anyone, so please, nobody out there, try and dox or figure anything out, but The media knows this woman's name.
Yeah.
So they went out and they didn't cover her name.
They just covered the story.
This lady, who was a President Trump supporter, drank fish tank cleaner because Donald Trump is praising an unverified, unproven, non-antibiotic, what is it?
I guess an antiviral?
Something.
It's antimalarious.
It would be antiviral, right?
Yeah.
He's been basically touting the benefits of this anti-coronavirus drug.
The story was, poor old lady and husband, who love each other and love Trump, die.
The media, meaning New York Times, ABC, NBC, by the way, I'm going to be calling every single one of them after this show, so I want you to send in numbers, heads of news, people who you think would be in charge of these stories or who ran these stories, because they knew this woman's name.
They claimed they were withholding it due to, you know, wanting to keep her anonymous.
In which case, they knew that she wanted to divorce her husband, they knew that she hated President Donald Trump, and they knew that at least part of this was a sham, and that is journalistic malpractice.
Or, ABC, NBC, CBS, all of these major news outlets, Washington Post, didn't know her name, in which case you did not verify or vet your anonymous source, which is journalistic malpractice.
And you did this to try and alter the face of an election, by the way, because that's been the central issue, that Donald Trump hasn't handled this properly, and this was a linchpin for a lot of it.
He's going out there making, here's Donald Trump, anti-science again, and you found a woman who gave to Hillary Clinton, and gave to conservatives, or anti-science, non-profits, and something else, okay?
So, all of this we know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, right now, was a sham to try and harm the President, and by proxy, all conservatives.
But!
But!
Do you know what else this means?
This is speculation.
This is speculation.
I think this bitch is the new Carole Baskin.
I think that this woman, think about it for a second, she was abusive toward her husband, a long history of it, she wanted to divorce him, she clearly hated Trump, and only her husband died?
I think he was having his evening Manhattan and didn't realize it was mixed with a little bit of koi food.
Well, I think what she did is she walked over and said, Hey, honey, I already took my dose.
It's time for yours.
Yes.
No.
And so there's like a suicide pact, right?
Only she actually did one of these and his wasn't off the side of the mouth and she didn't actually saw it.
So I, and the only reason that we're digging into something like this is that this story on its face made no sense whatsoever.
Right?
Well, no, that's Donald Trump was not pitching that people should be taking chloroquine, right?
So that was a fact.
He was just saying that that is something that might be beneficial.
These people could not possibly have come up with a crazier story like, yeah, we both drank fish tank cleaner because it had one ingredient in it, much less everything else in it, that we thought might help us.
None of these things really lined up.
That's why we're digging into it, because it just doesn't make sense for anybody to do this.
And I think, obviously, it's an absurd story, and it's really sad that her husband died.
But can you imagine if there was even a whiff of an idea that someone killed his wife in order to indict Barack Obama.
Let's say a man came out and said, you know, I really supported Barack Obama and I believed that he didn't have a brother who was in Kenya to live in a shanty.
I didn't believe that until that man showed up and poisoned my wife.
And now I think you shouldn't go for Barack Obama.
And then we find out that he poisoned his wife.
I'm not saying that's the case, but I do think there should actually be some kind of an investigation here for criminal activity.
I don't know if it's not only fraud, but...
Speculation.
Potential murder.
I think it's really, really fishy, and I want everyone out there to blast this as far as you can.
Send us, send me on Twitter, at scrowd, or any stories that you've seen or watched.
Well, seen or watched, same thing.
Seen or read, I meant.
So watched or read.
Sorry, I'm very tired and I almost shat myself.
who've covered this story because I am going to run down a list and call each and every one of them.
Yes.
And find out which version of journalistic malpractice was at play here because it is one or the other and hopefully someone will follow this trail and see what happened to the husband.
Let's go to some chat really quickly.
I don't know if people are losing their minds over this right now because I lost my mind yesterday.
I didn't get any sleep.
Could be why I pooped myself along with a bad shrimp.
I didn't poop myself.
I almost did.
I'll tell you the story later.
You took care of it.
Is there any chat to go to, guys?
Yes, by the way, you should use... In the chat, we do not have names yet.
So just put your own username in there.
Of course, hit the notification bell if you are not subscribed, and hit all notifications so that you will be aware of everything that goes up.
And it's every day at 9pm.
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What were you about to say there, Gerald?
I was about to say, you know, obviously- I've had enough!
No, no, no, no, no, stop it!
There's more digging that needs to go in here, but what do you actually think will happen?
Do you think the media will do anything about this? Or is this like one of the
Kavanaugh witnesses that just magically comes up, says something wrong,
we find out it's wrong and they disappear?
I'm hoping there's more to this because it involves a pandemic that affects everybody.
Yeah.
It affects everybody, and especially because chloroquine could be, we are finding out now that it could be a medical miracle, not a cure, a medical miracle as a therapeutic, as a course of treatment right now to people who are suffering and potentially dying.
And!
The bitch probably killed her husband.
So we do have a chat that's somewhat related.
So first, thanks for exposing the lies and all this.
This is a Joe alert.
On that note, however, how do we share what sources like you and other members of The Blaze and even Daily Wire?
Anytime I use clips from any right-wing source, my liberal friends dismiss and say they do not count.
Well, listen, if they just dismiss it and say it doesn't count, then there's nothing I can do for you.
However, unlike the Young Turks or ABC-CBS, you just saw the overlays.
Now, unlike when we do the evening show where we actually can go in and post and we can make sure that we actually provide the link code on the image, you're just going to have to do a little bit of digging yourself, but they're all brought up right here.
I can tell you right now that some of these come from, oh wait, no, some of these are actually just our exclusive screenshots, but they have been verified.
I would not come out and give you information.
I am, well, you can never be 100% confident, 99.9999999% sure that this is the person and that this is the course of action.
Well, the so-called objective news sources are the ones who are doing all this fake work ahead of time.
So yeah, it's basically gone to show that we can't trust those guys.
Right.
So if we pretend like the people who are the so-called right-wing biased sites are the problem, no, it's actually the reverse.
And I do want to shout out to Reg the Bandit, our researcher, who's brilliant.
He's a beast.
He's a bandit.
He's so good.
He found this.
So I want to say, the exclusive information, none of that is me.
I basically said, hey Reg, I have a hunch.
and then he did the rest of that.
But it will be amazing to, if no one in the media covers this, that this woman, it's enough
that the woman was anti-Trump and pro-Obama because again, her message out there is, we
trusted the president and no one else should ever do the, she's advocating against voting
for the president.
I'm not sure the legality of that, and I've got to imagine, how many billions of dollars,
can we bring that up, maybe Reg can find this, what's the budget for CNN, for ABC, NBC, CBS,
I don't know exactly what the research budget is, but if you look at the total budget of
the media industry, it's billions, it's billions of dollars.
Well, in the meantime, we've got another chat that says, the problem with this is a lot of people already don't trust the media, so even if they did cover it up, how are they going to be held accountable?
All I can do is make some phone calls at this point and see, and then hopefully rally the information back to you, hopefully next morning on Good Morning Mug Club, because I'm not an FBI agent, I'm not the DOJ.
But I tell you what, this seems like something that would go beyond local law enforcement, and that's the challenge.
It's not like someone spray-painted your yard.
I think this probably all ends up just being lost, like you said, kind of disappearing into the ether, unfortunately.
Because one, we have much bigger things going on right now that people's attention will be focused on, but this is big when it comes to the media doing something that is obviously designed to hurt Trump.
And like you said, even if they didn't know, they're still wrong for doing it.
It's like everybody who comes out and says, I did something that the president said to do and it hurt me, or the president lied to me, or the president did this to me, they're running to them with a camera and a microphone and saying, Here's the leading question.
Where did the president touch you?
Yes, exactly.
On my peepee with a chloroquine!
You see that?
He said, let the record show, he said, on my peepee with a chloroquine.
Yes, that's exactly what's happening right now.
Every single time.
The journalist that was interviewing her was like, okay, well, where did you get the information from?
Did you get it from the president?
CNN, look, I want to show this right now.
CNN, they finally got one right.
Higher COVID death 19 rate in New Orleans may be caused by underlying health issues.
Let's bring up the number.
In Italy it was 99% and then if you add it up in New York I believe it was 96%.
Let us know when you have that overlay.
of the pre-existing conditions.
So there may be a 96% causation here.
Yeah.
But it's all got to be called COVID deaths.
I think when this filters out, we're going to be looking, and I talked to my wife about this last night, 1-2% I think is what the number will actually be because right now you have a 0.4% in Germany mortality rate and you have a 10% in Italy.
That doesn't make sense.
The populations, yes, they're different and I understand that, but they're not that different, right?
That's significantly different.
So I think right now... So you're suggesting it's the Aryan bloodlines?
Which I really, by the way, I don't tolerate on this show.
The only reason I bring it up is so that the 6'4", blonde, blue-eyed man, uh, espousing Aryan philosophy, I don't tolerate it.
I don't tolerate this on the show.
I don't think that's why.
I don't think that's why.
I don't either.
I would never say that.
Did you say guineas?
I didn't.
Did you call the... don't call them guineas.
Oh my god.
Disgusting.
Gerald.
Thank god we're live and people can hear for themselves what's going on and there's not a bleep!
Although there's a bleep.
What's funny is I have to pick the right, wrong racist terms so that YouTube doesn't remove this.
Yeah, guineas!
You're talking about guinea pigs!
One of my boxing coaches is Italian.
Literally every time we show up, he's like, ah, how you doing, you frickin' frog?
Is French Canadian or anything?
I don't know, you filthy what?
What's going on?
Let's go hit the mitts.
He's like, hehehehehe.
They don't take it offensively at all.
It's kind of funny.
Although, if you get into Sicily, he doesn't like it.
He doesn't like talking about the Moors.
Really?
Yeah, but then you punch each other.
No, no, no, I don't.
You work it out, right?
Yeah, no, he would destroy me.
He was the USA boxing team.
Oh my gosh.
And he basically just shows me how to suck less.
And then I say, gotta go, I'm gonna poop.
Alright, so by the way, just to make sure that we have a recap of this week since it's Friday and anything that we've missed or gotten incorrectly, our senior news correspondent, Brody McBrodigan, is going to be here with the Morning Report.
It's time for Morning After with Brodigan!
🎵 Alright, Mr. Brodigan, how are you, sir?
Okay, yeah, so with all the focus on unemployment, I have one story about one guy who did get a new job.
Singer Jackson Brown.
Apparently he just signed an endorsement deal with Corona.
No, no, okay, hold on.
Slow down there, Brodigan.
No, he actually, Jackson Brown, he was tested positive for Corona.
Yeah, he tested positive for the coronavirus, Brodigan.
It's not a good beer, I wouldn't call it a virus.
Okay, no.
No, Jackson Brown announced that he tested positive for... Do we have anything else on the pandemic there, Brodigan?
Uh, okay, yeah, there was outrage on the internet.
The internet was upset over an episode of Doctor Who.
We're all aware of the internet, yeah.
Yes, they were upset over Doctor Who, where they teamed with the Chinese government to, like, deny Taiwan over... No, no, no, no, what?
No, okay, no.
Who is...
Who is the World Health Organization?
It was a doctor from who?
Are you sure about that?
Because ever since they got a girl doctor, it's been all woke and crappy.
And I actually caught a black nose, what's up?
No, no, no, no, no.
Brodigan, no, no, no, no.
These are both old stories, Brodigan.
This isn't necessarily a recap from this week.
Is there anything more recent?
What's going on with the presidential race?
Yes, uh, Cardi B. You know Cardi B?
I am vaguely familiar.
Well, apparently she endorsed a candidate and said she was on Team Joe, but apparently now she's saying she was just threatened.
And, uh, Too Cute Manny, do you have that overlay?
Yeah, she's not here.
No, first off, I think he means Maddie, and you have the wrong Joe, Brodigan.
That's Joe Exotic, when she says Team Joe.
Right, right, he's running for president.
Oh, did you guys not see episode five yet?
Okay, he ran for president five years ago.
Spoiler alert, Brodigan.
Joe Biden, he's the one running for president.
He's the one running for president in 2020.
Wait, who's that now?
He's the wonk?
Yeah.
Brodigan, McBridey, have you been drinking?
No, I'm supporting our sponsor, Black Rifle Bourbon.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's Black Rifle Coffee.
Bourbon is a classification of coffee bean.
It's actually a grading.
You know what?
That's fine.
That's enough.
Let's go.
Go, go, go.
Let him know.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
That's been the morning after with Bronica.
BlackRivalCoffee.com slash Crowder.
Enter the promo code Crowder, you get 20% off.
It is fantastic coffee.
I'm actually doing a buy a bag, give a bag to emergency responders right now.
Very nice.
By the way, that went about as well as I expected.
Really?
Yeah.
It went better than I expected.
Good.
I kind of knew that I was taking a risk.
You were.
You really were.
Like sitting in that chair right now with your stomach.
Yeah, I'll talk about that in a little bit.
What's the next story we have to get to here?
It's the morning story.
We do have a story about de Blasio, but before I get to that, here's one thing, too.
We've talked about this, Audio Wade and Gerald, as people who run businesses.
We talked about this last time, the untargeted stimulus relief bill.
And I understand that a lot of businesses, small businesses, are being helped right now with effectively money giveaways and increasing the ability and the availability of loans.
The ability for banks to loan and the availability of loans.
Sorry, I don't want to talk about that.
And to do it very quickly.
The ability to condensate Yeah.
The data would suggestify.
So here's something that people don't remember.
This is why I'm so against universal basic income.
And I get a lot of letters from you guys and you guys talk in the chat.
And by the way, Sutton's Bay Ciders, that's my uncle's cidery, they've really had to struggle
It's a small cidery in northern Michigan.
If you like hard cider, it's the best.
They've won international awards for their cider like the Cherry and Ginger.
I think it's SuttonsBayCiders.com if you want to support a small business.
That has nothing to do with this story, but I did read a couple of stories from small business owners out there.
Particularly having the lower wage employees right now, this is why I'm against universal basic income.
A lot of people haven't taken this into account.
When they say, give it directly to the workers, don't give it to businesses, and they assume that businesses are all big businesses.
We have 12 employees, by the way.
The classification for a small business from the government, I believe, is under 500.
So keep that in context.
We have 15 employees, sorry.
We have 8 in the office at any given time right now, and 12 who are usually in the office.
There are a lot of workers right now with businesses who are not coming into work because they're receiving a check.
This is anecdotal.
We do not have numbers on this right now.
We won't have numbers for probably several months.
But this is one of those things that you hear a lot.
People say, oh, you really think that if you give everybody $1,000 a month or if you give everybody $1,200 or $1,700 if they have a wife or a codependent.
I don't know how it works with wives versus children.
So wife or codependent depends on the kind of sandwich she makes.
People say, you think they're going to stop working?
Yes.
Yes, there are a lot of people, unfortunately, who want to simply remain comfortable, and they will forego the hard work as long as they make enough.
Look at what happens on Native American reservations.
It's not a federal check, but they sue the government over the land, and then of course they get a check in perpetuity.
A lot of these people, it's destroyed the community.
And this is actually, this is really bad long-term for the American economy.
Here's why.
People don't show up to work because they're getting the check.
And this really more so affects low-wage workers.
We'll be doing some cash giveaways, just like the Joker in the Michael Keaton Batman.
The only one that counts.
Because whatever money, I don't really need it.
I don't know what my wife and I are getting, but I'm not going to use it.
I'm going to give it away.
So send in your chat.
Send me a reason.
Send me a video as to why you deserve the money, because we want to give it to someone who needs it.
I don't need it.
I'm grateful.
People here are paid significantly more than minimum wage.
I don't believe in a minimum wage, but I believe in paying my employees more than a minimum wage.
But for you guys, $1,200 a month would not be nearly enough to replace your income.
And if anyone wants to leave and not work and take $1,200 a month, we've talked about this open-door policy, but it is a revolving-door policy if someone else is going to come in and work right now in this pandemic.
I wish you well.
And hopefully we'll have room when you guys come back.
But people who are making the lower end of the pay scale, comfort is good enough.
And what does that do?
Oh, maybe that employee is taking care of it.
Why is it more important to take care of a business that can ensure continued employment?
Because when these employees don't come in, guess what?
Now you can't have the health benefits, the retirement benefits.
All of a sudden, the working vacations go away and the business that will employ you, once that check stops, it looks like it's going to be 10 weeks, I think, right now.
Guess what?
You're out of luck.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this country who are so short-sighted that if you give them money, and this is something people always talk about, oh, the business owners, they're greedy.
What could possibly be more greedy than taking your money and screwing the person who paid you money for years?
This is happening across the country right now.
Yeah, especially with unemployment being the dollar amount going so much higher than it has been in the past.
It's $48,000 per year to be on unemployment right now.
Who would have thought that having a robust economy would bite us in the ass?
No kidding, right?
So, $48,000.
Donald Trump should have followed the Obama plan.
We'd be better off in the pandemic.
A little bit, right?
So I think what you're saying is that a lot of people think if you just give people money that they'll be better off to be able to buy goods and services.
But as a business owner, like you said, I've had conversations with other business owners and we're like, the money coming to the business is fantastic.
The payroll protection plan, that stuff really helps out.
And this is so different, like you said, the government shut this down.
This wasn't the economy crashing.
The government actually closed your business and said, hey, we're sorry, we have to close your business.
And if they keep businesses going, it's fantastic.
And people being on unemployment for $48,000 a year?
There's going to be a lot of people that don't want to come back.
It is absolute insanity.
Yeah, and that was one of the things that Ted Cruz was saying, Senator Cruz, on this whole debate thing.
Look, hold on.
I know we need to increase it a little bit, maybe for a short period of time, but don't do it indefinitely.
Let's draw a parallel here, okay?
So you have some employees and you have some people who are more like day raiders who are paid less here because this is a specialized position.
Yeah, it's a different People who've applied for golden tickets know that the pay is significantly above the national average here.
Let's say you have someone who's only making $20,000 a year, $25,000 a year.
Could you picture a scenario where that person says, I'll take a pay cut of a few thousand, but I can do whatever I want all day long?
Actually, they're not going to take any pay cut.
So what you're talking about is a stimulus check, right?
The $1,200?
No, no.
But that is what I'm talking about as far as with businesses who've been employing people right now.
And I didn't even think about this until I read Dozens of stories from people sending this in yeah, well,
and you can I can furlough somebody right now, so take that 20,000
I don't have one, but if I had somebody making 20,000 not fire them furlough them
I could furlough that person which means at some point I'll rehire them so they don't actually have to go out and
look for a job They can just sit on unemployment as long as I keep them
there making $48,000 a year not $20,000 a year right oh, so that's
probably what's happening Unemployment is 48, that's by itself.
These people aren't just leaving and taking a check, they might be furloughed or they're getting double dipping.
And furlough's better because that says you're eventually going to rehire them, but let me be very clear, it's just unemployment that's 48.
Can anyone else agree with me that that's a scam?
Furlough for prisoners?
You don't know about this?
Let him out for a little while.
I would have thought you in the corner of you would know about this.
Yeah, furlough for prisoners.
I am offended, sir.
People who are like low security risk prisoners, they can go home for a bit.
I think it's good.
Really?
I'm kidding.
Was it Gotti who did that?
I don't know.
Someone can bring that all the way over to VoltaFilm.
He's not a violent offender?
Really?
Well, I don't think they directly connected him, but there was that awful John Travolta mobster film, and I remember Ann Coulter talking about furloughs a long time ago, and I was watching it.
There's a famous mobster, you guys can let me know, we can bring this up, I don't know if it was Gotti, who was on furloughs.
He'd be like, yeah, yeah, you know, you're in prison, you have a, whatever, 20 year sentence, but on weekends, you know, you can go to Chuck E. Cheese.
What?
Am I the only one who knows about furloughs with prisoners?
Actually, I think I've heard of this with actual murders.
It happened with murders, and they got out on the weekend, and then they killed more people.
On the weekends?
On the weekends.
But it was only a weekend thing.
Yeah.
They're like, oh, it's my weekend thing.
It's just a weekend thing.
It's not my job.
We can bring that up.
I'm sure we can have research look it up right now.
And did we bring up the budget, by the way?
Did we find the budget for CNN and those folks?
The media?
I don't have it in front of me.
We'll get it pulled up.
Okay.
I've got to imagine it's billions of dollars.
All right, here's another story that's been pretty big.
Bill de Blasio.
He says that he's very concerned about anti-gay evangelical group.
He refers to it as led by the virulently anti-LGBTQ and Islamophobic preacher Franklin Graham.
So this has been everywhere right now.
Samaritan's Purse.
Let's be clear, this is a religious non-profit, and as much as people like to say churches should lose their tax-exempt status, really?
How much do you help your community?
How much do you give to charity?
People don't realize that the bulk of humanitarian work is carried out by private organizations.
And local churches.
And local churches.
So, Samaritan's Purse, managing a 60-bed respiratory care unit, and they're handling overflow patients right now from Mount Sinai.
Now, I want to be really clear about this organization before I get into something that will piss people off.
They provided medical, humanitarian care to all kinds of countries.
You have Haiti, earthquakes, hurricane relief, natural disasters, pandemics, Darfur, Uganda.
They were one of only two organizations to go to Liberia during the Ebola outbreak.
That was a 50% death rate.
So think about this for a second.
Obviously, everyone deserves praise who's helping right now.
But while we have stories and listicles on BuzzFeed and Vox about the frontline medical workers who've worked a 12-hour shift, and that is tough and they're overburdened, and thank you, for some reason, because we hate the religious affiliation of Franklin Graham, we don't talk about the fact that a 50% death rate, disease, virus, Ebola, 50% death rate in Liberia, that they went out and helped.
Yeah.
That is incredible.
No matter where you line up on religion or Franklin Graham, that should be a good thing.
Now, let's get to Franklin Graham.
I read the exact quote, which I think we can bring up.
He was very clear, Franklin Graham, in saying, I do not have a problem with religious followers of Islam.
This is not an indictment on all of them.
But I do have a problem with the religion.
I do have a problem with the teaching.
I have a problem with Sharia law, how it's implemented, how they treat their women.
I believe that is wicked and evil.
A quote to that extent, we have a source that we can bring up.
It was very, very clear.
So, of course, this article, I think from Gotham, has been very upset and has been covered everywhere.
Franklin Graham, Islamophobic, called Islam wicked and evil.
Well, he called certain portions of Islam wicked and evil.
And here's something just like, you know what?
Maybe this pandemic has made me a little bolder and I don't really care if I get removed.
Because Mug Club, thank you so much for joining up.
Promo code quarantine30 dollars.
Not all followers, not all Muslims, But Muhammad and the founding teachings of... Yeah, you know what?
I'll say wicked and evil.
I would agree.
And here's the thing.
All practicing Christians have to believe that what Muhammad specifically, and some writings in Hadith espoused, are wicked and evil.
Let me explain to you why, okay?
So let's get to...
Obviously, the idea that the Bible warns against false prophets.
Right.
I think I have a verse I don't want to read.
Galatians 1.8.9.
If you want to actually go fact check this and go read the verse, that's great.
They warn against false prophets, especially anyone who preaches teachings that supersede what is written in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.
In other words, if these teachings say, no, no, no, no, erase what happened there, we're changing the rules, that is considered biblically evil.
Yeah.
It's very clear, right?
And that's where we've talked about other cults.
They do that, right?
They take the Bible and say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They twist it.
And they twist it and they add to it.
Did Muhammad do that?
Now, I'm not saying all Muslims.
I want to be clear.
I'm talking about these teachings from a Christian ideology, from a theological standpoint.
Abraham.
This is a big one.
Abraham, you know, he went up to the mountain, had his son, and he was like, no, just kidding.
That sounds familiar.
Yes.
But they actually, Muslims actually, a big part of this is they say that Ishmael, they don't believe that it was Isaac who was one up to be sacrificed.
Now they believe that the texts were perverted and distorted by scribes.
In other words, everything after Abraham, you see this with Muhammad, everything after Abraham before Muhammad is not really reliable.
And by the way, everyone who was a... kinda Jew-y.
So that's an issue people need to understand.
Scribe is a dog whistle in that case.
Scribe is a dog whistle in that case.
And does that not kind of give you an idea as to where maybe some of the anti-Semitism
which has arisen in the Islamic world for the most part, always,
Where it comes from, if you believe that the Jews and the Christians lied or twisted, warped everything past the sacrifice, the non-sacrifice of Abraham and the blessing of the first child.
That's a big deal that is evil because guess what?
It's accusing Christians and Jews of being evil!
Right, no, and I think it's a pretty simple equation, right?
If you have a one true God, and he has set up a kind of a system, right, and he sends his son, and this is God in the flesh, and he dies for you, and this is the way to heaven, and that's what he says, right?
So the claims that are made in Christianity leave no room for other claims to be made, right, by their selves.
That is the only thing that can be, either that or God is a liar.
That's the only choice that we have.
And so Islam comes along and says, no, there's another way.
That's evil.
That's perverse.
Well, here's the important thing, too.
The Islamic religion, I want to say, views Jesus, all the people who came before Muhammad, as basically sort of formative Muslims.
As bad Muslims.
Prophets.
They don't view them as Christians because they believe that Islam is the one true faith.
And you think, I don't have a problem with that.
I want to be clear.
No.
When people say, all religions tell a story, go read Aesop, you dipshit.
Who cares?
Why should we care?
Follow a religion because of a story.
That's what they taught me in MRE in Canada.
Moral religious education in a state-funded Catholic, in a provincially funded Catholic school.
You do the math.
Separation of church and state.
What?
Not a thing.
So that's what they taught us.
All religions tell a story.
Okay, well then let's look at the story.
You look at the story of Jesus.
It's, hey listen, there was a law.
God in the flesh came down to fulfill the law and free you in a lot of ways from the shackles of your sin.
That's kind of a recap.
That's the Clip Notes version.
That's the elevator pitch of Jesus Christ.
Elevator pitch from Muhammad?
Everything that guy said is bullshit.
Let me get to the really important aspect.
Also, kill that guy.
If you're a Christian, okay, if you're a Christian out there, again, this is important because words matter, wicked and evil.
If you're a Christian and someone were to come up to you right now and say, Jesus never died and was resurrected.
That's a lie.
That never happened.
That's about as close to the unforgivable sin as described in the Bible as you can get in modern times.
That's what Islam believes.
They deny the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Now, whether you believe it or not, that's fine.
But from a Christian worldview, from a Christian theological worldview, a prophet who comes, who arrives after the book of Revelation, who adds to the text and says, by the way, ignore that because the Son of God, God in the flesh, didn't die.
The resurrection is a sham.
You would have to say that's evil.
Yeah, and I don't think it's a stretch for somebody to say, I'm a Christian and I believe that faiths that try to take you away from God are evil.
That's an evil thing to do.
I don't have a problem with Muslim scholars saying, I'm a Muslim and I believe that your worldview is trying to draw people away from the one true prophet, Muhammad, and that you're evil.
There's a big contrast between Jesus and Muhammad.
If they say, listen, We follow a serial warlord who married a six-year-old but only copulated when she was nine, was a very powerful man, a man who led a political movement and social upheaval very violently.
And you follow a carpenter who, you know, never got laid.
I think you guys are wrong.
If they said that to me, I would say, I disagree, but I think that worldview, in contrast with mine, is kind of wicked.
Not wicked in a cool way, like the skater kids say.
Definitely not.
Let me put it to you this way, too.
If an Islamic organization came and set up 60 beds in Central Park right now and said, hey, we're here to help, I'd say, thank God.
That's a good question.
Where are the Islamic humanitarian organizations in the United States right now?
Where are they?
I don't know.
Where are they sending the masks, by the way?
Do we have Dinesh?
Do we have him?
Yeah, we do.
OK, hold on.
Not just yet.
We'll bring him on soon.
But I do want to also note, by the way, 3M, screw you guys.
Just to be clear, 3M?
Screw you.
Well, they're the ones who are building masks.
And now it turns out they've been shipping them to other countries overseas.
And here's a good... This is where Donald Trump has invoked the Defense Production Act.
And this is what I will say.
In pandemics, everyone becomes a nationalist.
Okay, in pandemics, everyone is a nationalist because people don't want to see Americans die.
It's not that we don't care about people in Korea, Germany, Italy, but we have to take care of our own.
And I do think it's appropriate, if you need to invoke the Defense Production Act, if a company like 3M says, hey, we're going to make masks, we're going to get them to the American people and say, oh, sorry, our contracts are actually with other countries right now because they came in and they bid higher.
No, no.
If the American taxpayer in any way is helping to keep you afloat and you get some kind of a government contract, right now you do not get to go seek a higher profit elsewhere because you made... This isn't about socialism.
This is about honoring your agreement, 3M, and you said you were gonna build masks to help American workers.
That's the kind of America First that I'm behind.
That's the That's the kind of America First that we're talking about.
That's the kind of nationalism that we're talking about.
And it has nothing to do with Ed Furlong in a swastika with Elliot Goulding.
Goulding?
Gould?
I don't know.
The point is, nationalism doesn't mean white nationalism.
3M, do the right thing, and I hope that President Trump kicks your ass if you don't.
I like that.
And if they have a factory in Germany that wants to produce some for Germany, fine.
Fantastic.
No, us first.
Well, no, if they have a factory here... It's an American company.
As far as I understand it, an American company.
They certainly make their profits in the United States.
They came out for the good.
You don't get to benefit from the goodwill of Americans, right?
The opposite of a boycott, a boycott, where everyone... I guarantee you, because myself, I said, you know what?
I'm going to go get some sticky strips for the wall.
I don't even have any paintings.
I don't like art, but I was like, I want to I'm going to go out and support 3M.
You don't get to benefit from that goodwill and then say, oh, but we're international.
No.
No.
America first.
And everyone right now needs to be a nationalist in that sense.
Not a racist one.
It has nothing to do with racism.
Just to prove it, a token minority, I believe, we have as a guest on right now.
His new book is, I want to make sure that I get this right.
Well, you know what he can tell us about his new book.
It is the United States of Socialism.
Mr. D'Souza, how are you, sir?
Hey, good to be on the show.
It's been a while.
Thank you very much.
I want to be clear, since you have more melanin in your skin, do you believe that anything I just said regarding nationalism in this pandemic was racial supremacy?
No, not at all.
Yeah, I think it's interesting how there's been an effort to spin this in racial terms.
And I think that it actually reflects this kind of new socialism, we could call it.
What I mean by that is simply that socialism traditionally was all about class, the rich and the poor, the workers and the capitalists.
Right.
But now we have this, I call it identity socialism.
And what I mean by that is socialism is now married to the politics of race and gender and sexual orientation and immigration.
And so, socialism today would have been unrecognizable to Marx, because it's socialism married to this new identity politics.
Yeah, and that must be frustrating for you, Mr. D'Souza, because one thing, you know, we hear about the white-black thing a whole lot in the United States, and I don't think I'm letting the cat out of the bag when I say that you're originally from India, your family, your lineage.
I've met some Indians who are far darker than black people.
They don't seem to be included in that mix.
Is that generally South Indians?
Generally, but not entirely.
India runs the whole spectrum.
If you look at the Indian Bollywood actresses, they look basically white.
But on the other hand, you've got Indians who are completely dark.
Now, I think here it's important to make a distinction between race and skin color because the Indians can be dark-skinned without being Negroid in a racial sense.
Right, but racists would treat them the same way, is what I'm saying.
If everyone in this country was a racist, they would look... I mean, if you compare Drake, for example, to... There was a guy, Prakash, who is a server at my favorite local... He's very, very dark.
And I'm like, what are you...
Wait!
Someone call Ice-T!
If there's a real racist, he would treat him just as poorly, but we don't hear the same... It doesn't seem like Indian Americans have the same kind of political clout and voice.
And that seems important, especially when we're talking about identity politics with socialism right now.
Well, the other thing is if you go to India, India has now become, I would say, one of the most pro-American countries in the world.
I know.
So that there's very wide pro-Western and pro-American sentiment.
Even the old nonsense that I used to hear when I'm growing up, you know, the anti-British colonialism is horrible.
India would have been a fabulously rich country were it not for colonialism.
All of this kind of bloviation has subsided.
You have a small clack of socialists who still say this kind of stuff, but by and large, they're ridiculed by the rest of the... Can I ask you, Dinesh?
By the way, Audio Wade there just loves Democrats.
I don't know why.
Maybe you can shoot him straight.
But why is it that they're so... I've noticed this with other countries, having been raised in Canada.
There was a huge rash of anti-Americanism in Canada, and that's pretty obvious because they're jealous.
This is a land of really cool stuff.
Canada's silly.
And then I've noticed, though, the two groups of people who are most pro-American, this is anecdotal, you would probably have the data on it, have been Indians and, for some reason, Australians.
A lot of the time.
Why do you think that is with Indians?
Why are they so pro-American Western civilization?
Because it seems like a lot of, I mean you look at the yogi culture here, the vegan ultra-left culture, they're often espousing what they view as Indian sort of values.
Right.
The leftist in America who is pursuing India and thinks India is cool because of Hare Krishna and because of all this stuff, they're chasing an India that the Indians are now running away from.
They're pursuing an Indian dream that Indians don't have anymore.
Indians, by and large, want the American dream.
When I was growing up, I grew up under socialism.
It wasn't totalitarian socialism, it was democratic socialism.
And the three things I remember the most about it are, number one, first of all, we had a seven-year wait to get a phone.
Uh, we never had a phone growing up.
Obama phone lady would have been pissed.
She would have been pissed.
Hey, what do you think about India?
INDIA SUCKS!
OBAMA GOT ME A PHONE!
I DON'T KNOW THE NATION, NOTHING!
Sorry, go ahead.
So then, number two, the ration card.
And see, now when we go into a grocery store and they tell you you can only buy, you know, one roll of toilet paper, That's a little temporary whiff of what it was like growing up in a socialist country.
It's a real whiff, yeah.
They'll tell you, you know, you can only buy so much cooking oil, you can only buy so much rice.
And the third is just corruption at every level of government.
I mean, you have to pay people under the table all the time.
There's corruption here, but not in the same way.
So I think Indians who, a whole generation of Indians my age, Fled India.
My brother went to sea, other people went to Dubai, a third group of people went to Canada and Australia, a fourth group came to the United States.
Wait, did you say that your brother went to sea?
Yeah, my brother went as a cadet on a merchant marine ship and he basically started out of Singapore and he made his life, he became a captain.
Is he a Scientologist now?
He fled India that way.
Okay.
He's not a Scientologist, though, right?
Not that... Not Sea Org.
I just wanted to be clear.
This call would be... Goodbye, just the... Sorry, Native American, not Indian Native American.
You know, the whole broadcast would be stopped.
I think that's... I do want to say, because we don't have a lot of time, and I appreciate Megan the time, Dinesh, but...
I think it's very important, and you do a very good job of this, delineating between totalitarian socialism and what they call or brand democratic socialism, because it still is socialism.
And I've experienced this in Quebec, obviously.
I would assume to a lesser degree than India, but it still is a 52% income tax rate.
You still are talking about a socialized healthcare system.
Where?
Listen, now they opened it up to privatization in 2005, but when my mom needed an MRI, and they had fewer MRI machines in the whole country than they had, I think, in the state of Vermont back then, if you pay a few hundred dollars under the table, you can get an MRI within a couple months as opposed to 14.
So I think it's important for people who've experienced that to be out there speaking to their experiences.
Yeah, I mean, in some ways, at the level of pure principle, democratic socialism differs from totalitarian socialism, kind of like gang rape differs from individual rape.
I mean, look at it this way.
Look at it this way.
I'll explain that.
Hold on.
Hold on, let me process this.
And also, by the way, it reminds me, AudioWade, we need to tell that story about the elephant seal rape, because we were talking about that before.
We'll come back to it.
Continue with your rape analogy, Mr. D'Souza.
All right, go ahead, go ahead.
Oh, right.
So I'm saying that in both cases, The coercion, whether the coercion comes from one guy or from a majority.
Imagine you have a group of people, they all have one marble, right?
And one guy has ten marbles.
So authoritarian socialism means that one guy gets to grab the guy who has ten marbles and take his marbles.
Here's democratic socialism.
A majority of the people with one marble all decide to use the same level of force But use the fact that a majority of them have decided to confiscate the other guy.
In both cases, the other guy is deprived of his property.
In one case, it's done by one guy.
In the other case, it's done by force, by a group, claiming the legitimacy of the majority.
And that's my point.
In a sense, from the point of view of principle, there's no fundamental difference.
There's a confiscation in both cases, there's force employed in both cases, and an injustice is done in both cases.
Exactly.
And that's why it's very important to understand the idea of private property and constitutional rights.
Like you said, I think it's a brilliant analogy.
In one case, somebody takes the marble.
In the other case, the nine marbles take the remaining marble.
And if Joe Biden were at the helm, he'd just lose them.
There would be no more marbles.
Why am I bangerang?
All right.
It is, Dinesh just said, the book, I believe, is available for pre-order June 2nd.
It's going to be out on June 2nd, United States of Socialism, correct?
Yes, you can pre-order it now, but it won't be in stores until later.
So I'm just thinking through.
You know, what's strange about it now is, to me, when you go into stores and they're empty... My wife's from Venezuela, so she's been telling me about the empty stores in Venezuela now for years.
But I never knew what that felt like, but now a little bit with this strange virus situation, we're getting a preview of what normal life is like in socialist countries.
Yes.
That being said, in your private life, take advantage during this pandemic, because if she's from Venezuela, that's one less hungry mouth to feed.
Dinesh D'Souza, we must go!
The book is United States of Socialism, available for pre-order June 2nd.
We're going to go to a short commercial break after this, but we were talking about this before the break.
You guys can let Dinesh go.
I think he's still on there.
You can pre-order the book now, but it's out June 2nd.
Yeah, I'm excited.
The Elephant Seals.
You were telling me about this on your way.
And keep in mind, these are the ones that look like a Star Wars character with a snuffleupagus thing.
Yeah, so I was watching this documentary called The Riot and the Dance on Amazon Prime, and I knew that you were into animals, so I figured I'd tell you this story.
It was just this particular... What does that mean, Wade?
I'm into animals?
I'm a married man, Wade!
In elephant seal populations, there is no consensual sex.
Anyway, so elephant seals, yeah, they're the ones with these weird gelatinous noses that
fall down in their mouths.
But yeah, in elephant seal populations there is no consensual sex.
There is only rape.
But there's also...
But they're also super jealous of each other.
So like one guy had like seven females that he constantly rapes.
But if another elephant seal comes and rapes one of his females... I was raping that!
Yeah, that's the gal I rape all the time.
And so in this documentary, there's one where this elephant seal is raping another guy's
rape victim, I guess.
And then you see in the shot this other elephant seal coming and just charging at him with
this weird nose flopping around.
And they get in this disgusting-looking fight.
And then the— To determine who gets to rape.
Exactly.
And then the female just slides away.
Boys will be boys!
Okay, this is going to hurt.
Here's the thing.
I've also—and you've heard me when I did this at the River Plantation Country Club
one time when I had to stand up.
One of my banter used to be about how horrible animals are because you'll see PETA—a lot
of these animal rights activists say, well, I never see animals treat each other the way
humans do.
We treat each other more inhumanely.
Is this something that you actually mean?
Could you try to explain to someone, anyone, an animal rights activist, that scenario, with humans?
Like, no, no, this is a relationship, like, oh, okay, so this guy's a polygamist?
Not exactly.
He doesn't take responsibility?
He just has a bunch of women.
I don't know that he pays their room and board like a polygamist, so much as when he feels like it and he can find them, he rapes them for hours on end without mercy.
And no one else is allowed to because that's his raping post.
And then on the flip side, if we could break down the language barrier, which of course we can.
I don't think anyone speaks Elephant Seal yet.
Try to explain to them the Harvey Weinstein scandal.
They'd be like, wait, hold on a second, yeah, but, but she got the Oscar, right?
Like, I mean, what's the, what's the problem?
Even in this case, she voluntarily, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, that sounds like, that's a solid dude.
I don't have the willpower for that.
Think about it.
This is, this is human beings.
Elephant seal rape.
Oh my god.
Elephant seal's bad.
Not good.
Not a good thing.
You know what?
Am I missing anything for a commercial, by the way?
Because I don't think we need to go to a commercial.
Do you guys want me to go to a commercial?
I think, what do we have as a commercial?
Is it a black rifle coffee?
It's not a new one though, right?
Nope.
Alright, so listen.
BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder.
Enter in the promo code Crowder, you get 20% off.
They're doing buy a bag, give a bag right now, where they're actually giving bags to first responders and medical workers.
Did we get any of the budget from the networks at all?
That's okay.
Put it this way!
It's more than a handful of mugs!
At least two hands.
Significantly more.
Let's see, from 2010 to 2016, in 2010 the income amounted to $732 million U.S.
dollars, and it grew to $7.23 billion.
And that's just NBC.
That's just NBC.
You could say more.
You could say more.
Slightly more.
I mean, if you look at the budget and the funding in round one, round two, and round Al Jazeera, from the Young Turks, it's like towering.
It's not even close.
Join Mug Club, please, if you still want us here.
Quarantine, you get $30 off.
I feel like Carl the intern could have made a phone call with that budget for them.
He could have been like, lady, did you kill your husband?
Right?
You did.
Okay, good.
Got it.
Did you both take the fish tank cleaner together?
And if so, would you submit to a random urine slash blood test?
Exactly.
I don't want to.
I'm just so shaken up from trusting Trump.
It will come out, he wants.
By the way, Apple podcast, of course you can subscribe there.
All the audio stuff, Crowder Bits.
And yeah, $30 off with the Mug Club quarantine right now.
It's a great deal.
We did Islam Evil.
Okay, let me go to this.
The checklist.
We said Islam was evil.
Go to chat really quickly and see what people are saying.
T.D.
Jakes is on TV.
Oh good.
That guy is black with a grayish tint.
I don't know if we can bring that up.
It's a very grayish tint.
Maybe it's just bad makeup.
Yeah, it is.
I don't mean his beard.
Translucent?
Translucent powder?
I hope he's doing okay.
I've heard nice things.
I don't really know anything.
So don't fact check me on any of it.
He could be horrible, he could be fantastic.
He might not be gray.
We have a chat from American Patriot.
Hello to the Loud Earth Crowder crew.
Thanks so much for the Mug Club Quarantine Month.
Do you guys think there is a possibility that this virus could be used to remove constitutional rights or a vehicle for socialism?
Oh, of course.
Absolutely.
I think so many people are yearning for it.
What was remarkable to me was there was a news outlet.
I can't remember that.
Oh, no, it was a guy at Vox.
It was an asshole at Vox.
Sorry.
Memory trigger!
It was an asshole at Vox, but I repeat myself.
And someone on CNN, I believe, we might be able to pull this clip.
I don't necessarily know that we need it because if you doubt me on this and okay, fine.
She said, well, we can't do the same things here in the United States because unlike China and unlike places like South Korea, we're a much more free country.
And someone at Vox said, seems she confused South Korea and North Korea.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It doesn't only have to be Kim Jong-un, but we have a right, a constitutional right to privacy.
South Korea used private data on phones to track, monitor, And then release private information to the public in South Korea so that others could avoid them.
Like Dinesh was talking about socialism, totalitarian socialism versus democratic socialism, rights are still removed in that instance.
Rights are still removed when your private data or any private information is released publicly for the greater good.
I think we need to do everything that we can.
I think this is a legitimate purview of government in the sense that this is a national security issue.
It's a national emergency.
That's why they exist.
However, they are not allowed to simply trample over constitutional rights.
Those are always intact.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think the answer to the question too is what Gavin Newsom said.
It's obvious.
This is a chance for them to launch their progressive vision for the country, not only
in the economy, but in politics.
He said that on the news.
I think it was yesterday or the day before.
And I think any time you look back at countries that transition into socialism or end up in
an authoritarian state where they weren't before, it's something like this that usually
Either a horrific economic situation, maybe Germany after World War I. By the way, what's the limit to how much of this?
You can drink the whole bottle.
Peptis Bismarck.
Don't you love that I had to put on tape?
You taped over the directions too.
That was a part you should have left open for us.
I don't know if that's happening right now, but this is the scary part of the situation.
And I am all for government doing something like this, if they can tell us that this will work.
My problem is, 15 days, guys.
Wait, you're all for the government releasing private data?
No, I'm all for the government doing a shutdown like they are right now.
Like you said, the purview of government, it's a national emergency, a national security issue, I get it.
If they can tell us that what we're doing will work, because we know what we're doing to the economy.
There is no question that we're damaging the economy.
What you did tell me was that it was 15 days.
Then you came back and said we need another 30.
What happened when they don't tell you... Oh yeah, go ahead.
And one final point.
In October, November, when somebody comes around and says, somebody has COVID-19 somewhere in the world, are we all running for the bedrooms again?
Are we shutting down countries and economies again?
Because that is going to happen.
We know that for a fact.
Yeah, and they keep reporting how many masks we have, but we don't know how many masks we need.
Right.
That's absolutely right.
And in that case, I guess you said running for the bedroom.
I mean, I would run for the bathroom.
Gerald runs for the bedroom.
German lineage.
Have some fun on your way out, you know?
I do think your kid's gonna see this someday.
How do you think you got here, son?
Speaking of which... I'm so sorry.
No, you're not.
The names have not been changed to protect the innocents.
There are no innocents.
This is something that I talked about.
You can go back and watch.
It's hard to know exactly who to trust.
So off of your point, it's also the numbers that they don't release.
When they say, look, these are the deaths.
Okay.
Who's dying?
Every life lost is precious, of course.
And I hate, by the way, it's like one of those things where you can never criticize a war or military action without being accused of hating the troops.
Now, I do think that if we are actually at war, you should probably not denigrate the troops when they come back, or spit on them like with Vietnam.
But if you say, you know what, I'm not necessarily sure that we can fix the Middle East, that doesn't mean that you hate the troops.
And I hate it when conservatives sometimes do that.
I also hate if you say, hey, maybe this isn't the right approach to the coronavirus, that somehow you don't care about the lives lost.
The lives lost do matter.
What they don't tell you when they're shutting down the economy is that 90-something percent in Italy, 99.
I believe in New York it's 96.
We've done it in previous videos where the links are there directly.
99% of coronavirus patients in Italy had pre-existing conditions or over the age of 80.
They should be telling us that because that might determine what we do.
It might determine whether people will tolerate or even ask for their rights to be removed.
In other words, they might say, oh, 99% of people are over the age of 80 and have a pre-existing condition.
Otherwise, the fatality rate is higher than the flu, but well under 1%.
And with these precautionary measures, it can be lower.
Let's not shut down the entire economy, because I want my child to have a future in this country.
That would be a reasonable response.
If you're only given half of the information, that's a problem.
And this comes back to another story that I think is very important, because I talked about this quite a bit.
In the same vein, it makes it really hard to know what to trust.
So masks, right now.
This is a new story.
CDC, they're now saying that masks may be good.
That they may be good.
Like we didn't know this.
Who wants to put the over-under on in two days?
They'll say, masks, okay, they're good.
Masks are good.
Masks are good.
You love them.
Good masks.
Love masks.
Num, num, num, num, mask.
That's what they're going... Because really, it's not about what's best for you.
It's about the fact that there was a shortage.
And why does that matter?
Because they're trying to cover their own asses because the government shipped out a lot of these medical supplies and didn't replenish them.
Oh, right now!
Trump says new recommendations on masks are upcoming.
Meaning, like, they're good.
If used properly.
Hold on, shut up.
I've spoken with doctors.
I know.
Don't cut me off on this because I don't want to give the wrong... What's your information on masks, Gerald?
If you use them improperly, you can actually infect yourself.
Sorry.
Did I?
You just ruined the lead!
Did I?
No.
It's okay.
I don't care.
But I actually, I want to be very careful because some people think that the improper
way to use a mask is that you can't reuse masks ever.
That's not true either.
No, no.
That is not true either because that's misinformation that has been put out there by supposed doctors.
So, initially, what were we told?
You don't need masks at all.
I said on this show, actually, masks kind of help.
And I talked about if you don't have a mask, you can make one out of a t-shirt or a pillowcase.
Did a lot of research on that.
They said, don't take masks because we have a... And then they said, but every healthcare worker needs one.
Because there's a shortage.
Well, hold on.
What is it?
Do masks not work?
Or is there a shortage?
Just tell us, listen, everyone should be wearing masks, but we screwed up so we don't have enough masks and the private industry is going to have to step in and save us.
So yes, masks help, but please bear with us because we suck.
We're incompetent.
If they said that, it wouldn't have been a problem.
The problem is they lied to the American public.
And so what does that do?
It removes faith in institutions, just like with the media, and Russia, and a false impeachment sham.
I didn't mean to actually shut up, I just want to make sure they get the right medical information because I could be sued.
And I could, uh, it's already happened.
Usually an angry transgender, but in this case it could be an angry transgender doctor who just looks like Sub-Zero.
What are you saying about the religion, Matt?
Yeah, no, they should have just been honest from the beginning.
The same things that they're accusing President Donald Trump of not being honest about.
Right, exactly.
Oh, they should have just been honest from the beginning.
Well, here's the thing.
I don't want to attribute to a sinister motive what you can simply chuck up to incompetence, but do you really believe that the CDC, that government health agencies, suddenly woke... Do you think their head popped off the pillow?
Like, oh, oh, I was wrong about that.
They knew when they said this.
Why?
Let's bring up the study.
Masks work.
We know beyond any shadow of a doubt that masks do help.
That's why they do them in a lot of these Asian countries.
And sure, when you get on a Southwest flight and you see someone with that and they're eating hard-boiled eggs, it's weird, it's unsightly, but that's not like a wet market.
It's just cultural differences that we learn to tolerate.
But the reason, if they told us, if they didn't tell us that masks work, I can't think of any other motivation than thinking that we can't handle that information.
Right.
Like, they lie to us to try to, because they don't think we can discern, like, okay, these people need them, I should not buy them.
Right.
But yeah, so they basically are assuming we're stupid.
Well, no, I don't think they're assuming the American public is stupid.
I think that they know the American public will be manipulated by the media, in the sense that the media will go out and say, BUY ALL THE TOILET PAPER!
And people are going, what?
I have to buy all of the rolls!
And that's what would happen with the masks, if the media comes out and says, we don't have enough masks because Donald Trump's CDC shipped them as opposed to Barack Obama.
And unfortunately, these could be life-saving measures in these dangerous times, and everyone's I need a mask!
That's the issue.
The American public are not stupid, I will say this.
But, unfortunately, a lot of the American public, and particularly some older portions of the American public, have believed in this idea of objective journalism.
And so I think right now they have to think, the CDC, FDA, Donald Trump, they have to think two, three moves ahead because there's a difference between what they want to say versus what the media will say.
And by the way, I want this to be a campaign, you don't air the press briefing, you don't get a press badge.
That's why it matters.
Donald Trump could come out and say, hey, listen, we are building more masks, okay?
We need more masks, but right now, give priority to health care workers.
And then the media, because they refuse to run the briefing, then they write commentary saying Donald Trump says he lied about masks because they want to hurt his approval rating.
When Donald Trump speaks directly to the American people right now, his approval rating goes up.
And so what do they do?
They stop running the press briefings.
How effective are masks?
I've talked about this on air specifically, what, two, three weeks ago?
Again, Origin Maine, they're stepping up, they're doing masks, reusable masks.
Even a homemade mask, particularly from a cotton blend, t-shirt, or antimicrobial pillowcase, okay?
We have a link right there, so hold it up a little bit longer so that people can, this comes from NIH.gov.
where they did a study and you can find more information on it. They studied to see what
was most effective at removing particles and actually the most effective was I think a
vacuum bag cleaner and a dish towel but then people just couldn't breathe and they were
suffocating. So they said the best middle ground is a poly blend t-shirt followed by an antimicrobial
pillowcase because you create two layers and it is 70 percent effective at filtering small particles.
Now, keep in mind, a non-N95 mask is 80-something percent effective.
Anywhere from 80-something percent to, I've heard, as high as 94%.
I don't have the exact numbers.
People might say, 70%?
That's not a lot.
Here's the thing.
There's a two-fold benefit with masks, and I think that it's something we could do in this country, by the way, that would allow us to, again, protect the most vulnerable, quarantine old people, teach them how to play Xbox for all we care, give them their checks, allow businesses to open up, identify non-essential businesses, do the exact reverse of what we're doing, encourage the washing hands, proper hygiene, and Encourage people to wear masks and use them properly.
And the beauty is, now you can sanitize masks as well.
You can re-sanitize masks.
They're recyclable.
So not only are we going to have more masks available, we're going to have more masks available in a way that is reusable.
So 70% doesn't seem like a whole lot two-fold benefit.
Number one, we're finding out that the droplets, it's not an airborne virus.
It's not like, you know, mustard gas.
But the droplets are going significantly further than they initially thought.
Uh, there still seems to be some testing, a little bit of disagreement.
I don't want to give you false information.
Masks almost completely eliminate that.
Okay?
So masks almost, they eliminate very effectively.
The 70% is not about droplets going out.
Droplets going out.
Masks are very effective at stopping that.
So what happens?
People who are carriers, maybe even people, maybe even people who are asymptomatic, which by the way, it seems like that should be silver lining, right?
25% of people are asymptomatic.
So in other words, 90% of people, when you total it up, have the coronavirus, have no symptoms at all.
Is that good news?
Instead, it's 25% are asymptomatic, which means they can bring it to the 1% who aren't asymptomatic!
Oh my god!
So there's some good with the bad.
In other words, let's take the good news and then extrapolate from that.
Put together a strategy on how to stay safe.
25% of people don't have any symptoms at all, and the vast majority have very mild symptoms.
So now we know a lot.
A lot of people are asymptomatic, don't know that they have coronavirus, and we know that masks stop it from spreading to other people.
Everyone go out and wear masks and then it's 70% effective at ingoing particles.
That's not entirely, but that being said, it's very effective for outgoing particles and then 70% for the next guy with Ingoing particles?
Guess what?
That's more effective than a flu vaccine.
What do we do with a flu vaccine?
Is it to immunize 20% of the American public so that we hopefully get some kind of herd immunity?
That would be huge!
It would be at least as probably comparable to washing hands.
And like you said, don't use them improperly.
In other words, don't cough in your mask and give it to someone else.
Don't think that you can just put your mask on and off and on and off and it'll actually keep the bacteria out from you.
Now, if you're a carrier, don't touch your eyes.
Yeah, you cough into it and people get particles on it, and then you take it off like this, and they're like, well, you just got it on your hands, and then you touched your eye.
Like, just take it off this way.
Well, the problem there is, if you have it.
If you have it and you cough into it, now there's disease in that mask.
But if you cough into it, unless you go, hey, smell this!
The next person doesn't necessarily get it.
Do you like, I put in some essential oils!
You should kill everything I heard!
Here's one of the things.
Talking about the American people, we behave very rationally for the most part.
There's plenty of examples where we don't.
When people are panicked, they behave very irrationally.
And people panicked and bought the stupidest things in the world, like toilet paper.
That's going to help you in the zombie apocalypse.
Having toilet paper is going to be a thing.
Do we?
Okay, very nice.
We do, and it is without a doubt the single most offensive piece of content that we have ever done.
That is saying something.
I think I'll be on vacation that day.
Yeah, you don't need to be here.
You do not need to be here.
But it's important that we do it.
It creates that kind of panic, and so if you have a CDC or you have the federal government come out and just say, look guys, like you said, we need to get these to first responders.
When we get that done, you will get the masks, we'll get whatever we need to you.
That's much better than panicking people and saying, oh my god, did you see all the toilet paper's gone, or all the masks are gone.
Right?
We behave very irrationally, and we become stupid.
So that's my point.
Especially if we don't have all the information.
If we don't have all the information, the American public are going to panic even more.
They're going to go to Facebook and find the information.
That's mostly wrong.
Here's one thing.
Let me be really honest with you guys, okay?
Because, and I am always as honest as I can.
You've heard me talk about Everclear and masks before.
But I won't lie.
There's always a concern.
Let's say you have the inside scoop.
And that's why you see insider trading happening with people in Congress or, you know, Republicans, Republicans or Democrats, or you see it in media.
Sometimes we're privy to information.
And sometimes we want to make sure that we get ahead of it.
That's what people do.
And so they don't release that.
They don't release that information.
That could be what's going on with masks.
I think that has happened with a lot of people as it relates to some of the emergency supplies.
I will tell you this.
I was conflicted about telling you guys about Everclear because I was like, let me go buy some Everclear right away.
Uh, but I told you that day and then it was available and only a week later did Everclear start getting purchased off the shelves because Everclear can be a sanitizer, it's 90% alcohol, it can be used as a hand sanitizer, it can be used as a cleaner, it's also something you can drink if you need to, and right now it's significantly cheaper than hand sanitizer.
Now, I have a couple of bottles of Everclear, so I'm fine, but I wanted to make sure that you guys know about this.
The one area where I will say That I don't tell you is my favorite cigar.
People always ask, and I don't say it because it is available in very limited quantities, it's a seasonal release, and I haven't been able to get a hold of a manufacturer.
That's one of those things.
People want to know, when do I use my Celebrity or my Clout?
I want to make sure that I have enough of my favorite cigar before I recommend it because I know I'll never be able to find it again.
So it's not, that's just my thing.
That's just my thing, okay?
Everything is out in the open.
If I were to go to confessional, that's what I would confess.
I've never told you my favorite cigar.
I've told you about all the cigars I like, but the one I really love comes from like one portion of this field, and it's so good, and it tastes like I had never had as a Canadian.
Maybe they have them in Canada.
Yeah.
But you said it tasted like a... Like a snickerdoodle cookie.
Yes.
What?
It tasted like a snickerdoodle.
So nice.
I am not a violent person, but I would kill all your children for a lot of these cigars.
Oh my gosh.
Well, how many are we talking about?
I make it quick.
I make it quick.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
I'm not a monster.
Like a large quantity of them?
I need to have a quantity.
So that's the only thing.
I had a point with this.
Oh, okay.
So same thing with masks.
In other words, we've said from the beginning, masks are really important.
Origin Maine, they can do a thousand a day.
We have those.
They are reusable.
Here's something else that I'll let you in on.
I use something in our... This is not news, but I hope this helps some people out there.
I use something because I have a jiu-jitsu gym at home.
Woven comes out in trains and it's in my garage.
I use something called Simple Green.
Simply Green, I think it is.
It's a mat cleaner that we use.
Soylent Green, yeah.
No, no, it's not Soylent Green.
It's Simple Green.
I think it's sold out.
You can't find it now anyway.
I always have a few gallons of it on hand because it kills staph infection, ringworm.
That's a big thing in grappling.
Now, that being said, you can put two ounces of this into a laundry load and it will sanitize it.
It can actually be used in industrial settings.
Oh, okay.
And so that's what we've been doing with our Origin masks here at the Latos Powder Studios.
You can find this.
Origin, Maine is the company.
And we put them in there and wash them with this Simple Green, I think is what it's called.
I don't know the exact name.
It's Matt Clean Simple Green.
Johnny, boy, you know what it is.
You can send it in.
Matt Cleaner.
And we sanitize the masks.
And they are reusable.
It does say on there, right, coronavirus, it kills coronavirus.
It does say that, yeah, it does say that it kills coronavirus.
This is a novel coronavirus.
Keep in mind that 7 to 15 percent of all influenza deaths every year, all influenza infection cases, are some form of coronavirus.
Not this kind, but some form.
So, there you go.
Masks, Ever clear, but I'm not going to tell you my favorite cigar.
Just let me have this one.
I love you.
There are other cigars that I love.
This is not a lie.
In my other top ten list, I love Brickhouse Standard.
I love the Rania cigars.
I like almost anything from Espinoza.
I like almost anything from A.J.
Fernandez.
I love Padron's.
I love the Oliva V. Milano.
All of these are great cigars, but I'm not going to tell you my favorite.
Yeah, we have a chat here from Matt... If it's about the cigar, I don't want to hear it!
I don't want to hear it if it's about the cigar!
I'm not going to tell anybody!
Well, never mind.
No, it's not about the cigar.
It is from Matt in Florida.
What repercussions should China face for unleashing this pandemic on the world?
And he has a couple of suggestions.
So forced forgiveness of debt, mass tariffs, recognition of Taiwan.
What do you think?
I think all of the above.
I think all of the above and guess how it starts with us here in the United States of America.
Let's be nationalists and actually recognize that we have the power to be the change we seek for assholes around the world.
So we can recognize Taiwan.
We can try and exert pressure to make sure that all All international committees and treaties that have anyone sign onto it recognizes Taiwan.
We can make sure that there's some forgiveness of debt, at least to the amount of economic damage that you've done to the global economy.
And as far as the tariffs, listen, I'm not a protectionist.
I just believe that they should start playing fairly.
So in other words, it should be an equal give-and-take with goods.
If they take the tariffs off of ours, if they start importing fairly, we should do the same.
Until then, we mirror them exactly.
It's matching intensity.
Like my original Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructor, his name was Fred Precio.
When I was going in, I was rolling really hard a little bit.
I was a white belt.
We've talked about this a little bit.
He goes, Hey, Steven, I want to tell you a story, okay?
When you fight, You match the spice.
I said what?
I said when you fight on the match, if you go switch, people gonna be switch.
People gonna be switch with you like a cookie.
He didn't know snickerdoodle.
If you roll switch, people be switch with you.
If you roll spicy, people not gonna be switch.
So he was saying you match the intensity.
We do that with China, but certainly Taiwan should be recognized.
If Brad Pitt can get praise for seven years in Tibet, I think that we should certainly go out and start hammering international commie pricks for not recognizing a nation that wants to separate from it.
Isn't it funny that the punishment that China gets is basically that they just have to start playing fair?
Right.
Your punishment is that you can't do all the crap you used to do and get away with it anymore.
Now you have to be normal, like everybody else.
It'd be like if a Chinese guy were swirling another Asian guy, by the way.
It'd be like if a Chinese man were swirling a Taiwanese... I don't know if they're... I think they're all probably about the same size.
Small and snatcher, in general.
Swirling a Taiwanese person, and then a white American goes and goes, hey, you stopped swirling him!
And then a left goes, racist?
Is it because he's Chinese?
No, it's because he's swirling the other... What are you, Taiwan?
It's because he's swirling the other Asian!
The other non-descript Asian!
I want the Asian to stop raping the other Asian!
That's nothing to do with race!
But we're accused of being racist or ethnocentric.
Yeah, we do have one more chat from Daniel here.
He says, after the coronavirus is over, what is the first thing you will do?
What is the first thing that I will do?
Gosh, I think...
It hasn't changed my life a whole lot, that's the truth.
I'm such a hermit.
Yeah, that's true.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to go out to eat with my wife, probably.
We just want to go out.
I mean, she likes to stay inside too, so for her this is the same kind of thing.
It's like, oh, everybody has to stay at home and I have no expectation of social.
Is that what she tells you?
She doesn't have a choice, but she's like, no, no, I like it.
And then she's throwing down her ponytail from the window.
Someone help!
Exactly.
I don't let her on the second floor.
You know, I don't know.
Honestly, I really don't know.
I have no idea.
My life hasn't changed.
Maybe I'll go out to eat.
Like, I'll go to a restaurant, which usually, like, I eat at home.
My wife cooks, or we order at home.
We'll go back to doing a normal show.
I don't know.
Honestly, like, the thing is, my life is so day-to-day, making sure that we hopefully serve you guys adequately.
That's why we're doing Mug Club Quarantine.
This is one thing, too.
I talked with Wade this week.
I'm like, you know what?
I'm doing twice the show.
I'm not going to make an extra dime.
That's not what happens with me.
But you're just working harder.
We're working harder because I can't fix people in an ER.
You can't.
I can make jokes.
We can talk about elephant seals.
It's true.
You know what we should do?
And I'm not buying this.
Usually I don't like your suggestions.
You don't, yes.
But we should do like a celebratory live show somewhere.
That would be a lot of fun.
An end of quarantine live show.
I'm committed to it right now.
I'm just kidding.
And then we start the pandemic all over again.
There's someone sitting at the CDC.
Brilliant idea.
And sir, thank God we dodged that.
Please, put the burgundy on.
Wait a second.
And it's a louder with Crowder live on campus.
Sorry about that.
We do have to get going, by the way.
Of course, you can hit the notification bell if you're not subscribed to Mug Club.
Hit all notifications so that you do get to see all of our content every day.
And that's every day at 9 p.m., Monday through Thursday, I believe.
And then, of course, we still have upload Saturdays.
Saturday, kind of at asymmetrical times, I guess, for lack of a better word.
Crowder Bits, Apple, iTunes, and please, listen, it's Mug Club Quarantine Month.
We are giving $30 off to everyone out there who would like to join.
You don't have to join right now.
You're trying it for a month for free.
And if you want this content to keep going, things like after the quarantine, change my mind, things like Crowder Confronts, more super videos, which, by the way, we can't do right now, of course.
Yeah, that's one thing we're going to do whenever... That's one thing we'll do!
We'll be able to get back to that, yeah, for sure.
There are actually quite a few new confronts, if you can believe it.
I'm just lying and waiting.
Can I cough on her?
Him, him, him, him.
Z?
Z. Spoiler alert.
So we do encourage you to join.
We'll be, of course, here.
The next show we'll be doing is live Monday morning.
Good Morning Mug Club at 10 a.m.
Eastern.
And then we'll be live, Jonky, we'll be live-streaming video games on Tuesday.
So let me just tell you this.
In closing, personal story, and I talk about this.
It's not necessarily in line with the crowd of closes that I do on the typical Thursday show, but there's kind of a rite of passage for men.
I had a comic friend who said this, that every man has the rite of passage.
They have two stories.
One is where they drink too much.
Typically, that's the story they tell.
And one is where a man craps his pants.
And he believed that if you didn't have these stories, that you were not a man.
I don't have either of those.
Good-sized penis, though, so I figure it evens out.
Slightly above average.
Bell curve?
Little, little, little higher.
Just past center.
That's how you know I'm telling the truth.
Or am I playing 8D chess and trying to make you think that without examining my intelligence?
So anyway, every man typically has those stories.
I don't.
But as far as the story of crapping one's pants, today I came as close to this as ever in my life.
And it was a spiritual experience.
Let me explain to you.
My routine is I drive, nowhere in particular, I drive around in my car and I have Black Rifle coffee, and usually I have some kind of a seltzer water as a palate cleanser because I really like savoring the coffee, and then sometimes I'll have a cigar.
Okay?
Listen, sorry, so sue me.
That's my morning routine.
I have kind of a loop that I do.
For some reason this morning, and I'll get to the some reason, at least my suspicion, I was driving away from home.
So I knew it was 10 minutes back.
I know the typical loop is about 20 minutes at its furthest point.
And I went, oh no.
And I felt the rumble.
And it was more than a rumble.
Um, it was like, it was like, ah, okay, this is a problem, right?
So let me just turn around, and I'm going back.
So the loop is not the same street, because I turn around in a different portion.
I like seeing the sunrise, because I'm up pretty early.
And as I loop back around to come home, I feel like, okay, I'm definitely not going to a public restroom, because of coronavirus right now.
And I figure that I can climb up there.
If we can't touch our eyes, If we cannot touch our eyes, if there's any irritation there, I figure it's somewhat porous, and I don't want to roll the dice at the 7-Eleven.
You don't want to be the guy that got coronavirus through his ass.
No, exactly.
Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.
Patient zero.
No good.
You don't want that to be on your tombstone.
You know what's funny?
What if there is a guy where that happened, and he's a guy who everyone suspects is gay, but he's been telling his wife no, and then the doctor's like, I mean, you got your coronavirus through your ass.
What?!
No!
No, sweetie, what is happening?
Somebody coughed on me!
Must have been when I licked that telephone pole.
So I didn't want to stop at a public restroom.
So I'm driving home and thinking, OK, I got time.
And then, on my loop home, there's a roadblock.
And because construction workers can't go out and work, it's not moving at all.
Oh no.
So three lanes has become one.
And I imagine that a demonic figure was put in the Hyundai four cars in front of me.
Because what should have been, at this point, seven minutes turned into 15.
And I'm sitting there, and I know some people are going to think this is sacrilegious, but I swear to you, I was sitting there and I was just praying.
I'm like, please, Lord, don't let me crap my pants.
Please, God, don't let me crap my pants.
I've not done it.
Don't let me crap my pants.
And then, at a certain point, I just realized, once we're going to minute 15, 16, 17, I kind of released myself to the process.
And I said, you know what?
You lay all your problems at his feet.
I'm going to stop because the lactic acid threshold, there's a lactic acid threshold for the pucker there.
People don't know.
It's just like a bicep.
You know, there's a certain point you can't do any more curls.
Right.
At a certain point, it's like opening the pressure chamber in Sphere.
And which one was Sam Neill underwater?
Was it Sphere?
Sam Neill.
Event Horizon. I don't know. Either way, demonic figure in Hyundai and I'm like, I'm not going to...
So I said, okay, Lord, I am not in control of this.
Whatever happens, happens.
And then, I thought for sure that I did.
Because there was some sense, there was relief.
There was relief.
And I sat there for another five minutes, Mrs. Hyundai, and I made it home.
And then I still ran to the bathroom because I figured I maybe only, you know, released a certain amount to make it bearable until I got home.
But I shit you not, I got home, I went to the bathroom to check the damage because I wanted to make sure that I threw anything out, you know, pull an Al Roker, and I check my sweatpants.
And it was like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
There was no poop.
I didn't poop myself.
They didn't burn in the fire.
I looked and I was like, what?
So for some reason, and then by the way, I took care, I went.
So in other words, it wasn't like I didn't have to go anymore and I missed my chance.
It was so painful.
That's why you saw me with the Pepto-Bismol.
I think it was just like after giving birth, there's a certain level of remaining inflammation, auxiliary inflammatory markers.
And what happened there was I got, Did we have that overlay?
It was clean as a whistle!
And I tell you what, everyone always is looking for a big sign.
Sometimes with God, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and it's the small things.
And so I still don't have a story of crapping my pants, which I guess means I'm not a real man, but I'm eternally grateful.
Thank you very much.
Join Mug Club.
Hashtag Mug Club Quarantine.
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