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June 28, 2019 - Louder with Crowder
02:39:03
#CrowderDebateStream! Dan Crenshaw, John Stossel and MORE Guest! | Louder with Crowder
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Time Text
🎵 music 🎵 🎵 music 🎵
We're gonna take a nice and slow, Gonna take it slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.
We're gonna take a nice and slow, Gonna take it slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.
Still like here.
Still like here.
She wants his uncle.
No, she don't.
What?
My soul.
I know.
Absolutely.
She wants his uncle.
No, she don't.
In the dance.
So, she be coming.
Yeah.
Fine.
In the morning.
Fine.
In the morning.
Fine.
In the morning.
Fine.
In the morning.
Fine.
She wants his uncle.
No, she don't.
In the dance.
So, she be coming.
Yeah.
She wants his uncle.
No, she don't.
What?
My soul.
I know.
Absolutely.
She wants his uncle.
No, she don't.
In the dance.
So, she be coming.
Yeah.
Fine.
Fine.
In the morning.
Fine.
The tippy tops.
Free love.
We're gonna take it low.
Demogorgon.
We're gonna take it low.
Take it, take it low.
We're gonna take it low.
On the street.
On the street.
We're gonna take it low.
Take it, take it low.
Take it low.
Demogorgon.
Put my soul.
My soul.
My soul.
Demogorgon.
In the dances.
Demogorgon.
Cha, cha.
Your style.
Your style.
Most good, most good, in the dances. Yeah. Most good, most good, but my shorts are a little bit... most good, most
good, in the dances.
Who could you be calling? Calling in the morning calling...
in the morning calling...
Focused, you copy? Focused, you copy?
What a stupid question. Find, find, find... Find, find, find...
What a stupid question. Find, find, find...
you Cha!
You are a rude, terrible person.
I should do.
It's pounded in my brain often enough.
Asleep and awake.
In the drowsy fantasy moment of every lonely dawn.
Oh, come on.
What's your answer?
You've taken my breath away.
What's your answer?
If I tell my mom and she tells your mom Won't you sign up?
If I tell my mom, and she tells your mom.
Make me a football.
Focus, keep calm.
Focus, keep calm.
Fine.
If I tell my mom, and she tells your mom.
Won't you sign up?
I tell my mom and she tells your mom Make me a new football
Focus, keep cockin' Focus, keep cockin'
Find, find, find ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
No one can say he's lived until he's loved, or gone and loved someone.
But I do, uh... Have you told her?
No, you know me, I'm too shy.
If I could cable her.
Why not, Xanathar?
After you've got to declare yourself openly.
Otherwise you'll stay right where you are.
Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush.
Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush.
Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush. Fush.
And I don't want to lose you I think I think.
With many mistakes Oh a-eh, aye, I do
And wake up from a Hit the
Outside And I don't want to lose you
Cause...
Fush. Fush. Fush.
Cause...
Cause.
I'm a plain simple man I have plain simple feelings
And I use plain simple words And I simply have to let you know
Plainly, that I That I slainly and pimply want
I'm a fool Many mistakes
Oh a-eh, aye, I do And wake up from a
Hit the Outside
And I don't want to lose you Cause...
Ooh I think I think.
With many mistakes Oh a-eh, aye, I do
And wake up from a Hit the
Outside And I don't want to lose you
Cause...
If he's rather nice, then you have it.
Oh, no, really.
I think you ought to give him a chance.
He seems kind of helpless.
Helplessness is the last thing I am looking for.
I mean, I'm going to spend the rest of our lives together. You must
learn not to interrupt.
The rest of our lives?
Yes.
You mean marriage?
Of course.
You're going to...
It's June, and Louder With Crowder is concluding our fourth annual cultural appropriation month.
Only instead of traveling to some third-world shithole, this week we're covering the only culture that matters.
America.
So drink a beer, call Ice and one of your co-workers, and wrap yourself in the only flag that counts.
Join us as we make Cultural Appropriation Month great again.
Because to appropriate is to appreciate.
Oh, before we get started, cultural appropriation month is wrapping up.
That means United States Pledge of Allegiance.
Everyone, please join us.
Right now, before we start the stream, a lot of flags here.
Just pick a flag.
Just pick one.
Pledge of Allegiance to the flag!
Because there are so many flags, hopefully you don't see it as a sign of disrespect.
It's ultra respectful because look at all the flags!
You can't not look at a flag in this room.
Yeah, good runoff on the Canes because there are so many flags.
Hopefully you don't see it as a sign of disrespect.
It's ultra respectful because look at all the flags.
You can't not look at a flag in this room.
There's a merrier Canadian flag to be found.
We literally have eleventy-five flags.
I don't even know if that's a... Brodigan has already gotten into the Jameson.
Is he drunk?
He's already drunk.
Really quickly, guys, everyone.
Use the hashtag debate, crowd or debate stream tonight.
We're going to get into our thoughts and prayers here in a couple of seconds.
Guests tonight, we have Dave Rubin, John Stossel, a bunch of celebrity cameos.
Want to let You know, we have a costume contest for Cultural Appropriation Month wrapping up.
Best costume.
We'll be reading them aloud.
Quarter Black Garrett later.
And also, send us in.
You still have time for submissions.
You're the most American thing you could think of.
Send in a video, and we'll be running the best ones later today.
We'll see you before the break.
Drinking Game Rules for tonight.
Before we get to the debates, all right, let me make sure I have this right.
Let us know, send us your tweets.
You have to take a drink any time the words fascist or ism, right?
I don't have to do it.
Fascist, racist, gay, drink twice if it's butt gig, ice, deportation, border, crisis, camps, migrant, fair share, slash, fairness, white, supremacist, Trump, one percent, student loans or debt, marginalized, LGBTQ, parentheses, AAIP, we must act, Klan, parenthood, reproductive rights, women's rights, medicare for all, drink if Kristen DeLaBrande has more than one question, Obama, morality, Gun Control, Yang Gang, Millionaires, Billionaires, Wall Street.
And you know what?
We'll probably make some up along the way.
Really?
We're gonna run out of beer.
That sounds like something we should drink for.
Let's send in the lovely American ladies to get us set up.
We have a keg tonight.
We do.
Sam Adams, because that's the only large-scale brewery that I know that supports.
Yes.
Except for you, Link, but we all agree that sucks.
Alright, so tonight we have, uh, we are down to 42 people, I believe.
Yes.
42.
Uh, what do you guys expect before we get to the debates here?
Uh, you know what? Given that last night they were talking about the candidates speaking in Spanish, I'm looking for
like that kind of moment again.
No, they weren't talking about it, they were speaking in Spanish.
No, I know, but that's what everybody talked about afterwards, right?
So that was the thing that people were just most up in arms about and thinking was hilarious.
I'm looking for somebody to go, no, I can top that tonight.
Like, I'm looking for the hold my beer moment.
Like Bernie Sanders will start speaking in Finnish.
Something, yeah, exactly, right?
So somebody's going to do something really stupid, but they're going to think they're connecting with the American people.
That's what I'm looking for tonight.
How awesome would it be if Bernie Sanders just started speaking and the Swedish chef just came out on his podium?
You know what it is?
The entire two day event has just been one giant burning man of bullshit.
I'd be shocked.
Pretty much.
This is live, Brodigan!
Oh, wait, hold on a second.
By the way, we strongly expect, that's why you're not hearing the debate right now, it's a watch-along, so tune in your TV to the debate, or on YouTube, because our stream could very likely be removed from NBC, which wouldn't surprise me.
So Blaze, yeah, you can watch it tonight for free on Blaze, on Blaze TV and the app.
Also, by the way, we just crossed 4 million subscribers!
Young Turks gonna be pissed!
But there's some Armenians who are not rolling over in their graves.
No.
Not at all.
They're actually... What is this?
Why do we have music playing?
We're fine.
We passed music.
I'm already confused.
Thank you very much, ladies.
We appreciate it.
Very, very nice.
Yes.
Beer.
This is all foam.
It is.
It's very foamy right now.
Was that Klobuchar's thing last night?
She said, we have a saying in... Was it Minnesota?
Did she say we have a saying in Minnesota?
Was she last night?
We have a saying in Minnesota.
All foam and no beer.
That's terrible.
That's a horrible thing to say.
Minnesota?
I mean, at least go with the head joke.
No, she wasn't saying it about Minnesota.
She was saying that she said it in Minnesota.
Oh.
Well, either way, it sucks.
You know, listen, this is one of those things, there are going to be 12 debates.
So we've got to pace ourselves.
This is the last show, by the way, of course.
We're going to be on break up until August 1st.
This is our last time in the studio, but we are going to have Masterclass with David Barton up next week.
So we have like five to ten videos that are going up during this little hiatus.
And if you haven't seen David Barton, you really do have to watch his stuff.
It's really cool.
Anybody out there who's just kind of tuning into this stuff and you haven't seen it yet, good, good, good stuff.
Well, here's the thing, I know it was a luck of the draw, right, as far as the candidates being on either night, but what a crappy draw.
I mean, last night was just Elizabeth Warren and everybody else.
Yeah, because we were planning on doing this both nights.
We were, and then we said, ah, it's just Warren on night one.
That's it.
That's really it.
Okay, obviously we have Michael, is it Bennett?
Sure.
My name's Bennett.
If you say so.
We have Bennett, we have Swalwell.
I can't wait to make fun of him.
Mr. Swallows.
He's my dark, not dark horse.
He's my favorite.
And then yesterday they had that other guy, was it Ainsley?
I always forget that guy.
I don't even know who he is.
And then we have Williamson tonight.
As far as I understand, please someone let me know.
Why is she there?
She wrote some kind of a book on pseudo-spirituality.
Yeah.
And how many of these people do you think are just trying to sell books?
That's honestly what I'm wondering at this point.
Well, I mean, basically it's just for popularity's sake.
So you can do something else and make money off of it outside.
There's no way some of these people polling at 0.1% are going to have any kind of shot.
That's the thing.
Out of the 217 people running, maybe five actually have a shot at winning the nomination.
There are people like Booker and Kirsten Gillibrand, who I loathe, who think they're special enough where they should win.
No one else likes him.
And then there's everyone else who figures they can get a job on MSNBC or write a book.
I mean, name a candidate here that doesn't have this huge Achilles heel.
Like, huge.
Bernie.
He's all Achilles heel!
I see what you did there, jerk.
That wasn't all bad.
It was all bad!
Again?
Really?
Yes.
This is starting off so rough.
I would just love it if right away they came out and Bernie started speaking Spanish.
That would be great.
You no know how I'll span you!
But me goose to tacos!
I don't, you know, I think honestly, if you have to bet, obviously, smart money bets it's Biden, right?
But I think that if it's Biden versus... Oh, they're bringing them out?
Are they bringing them out?
Yeah.
Oh, I can't wait to... A little bit of backstage.
Oh, that's... There you go.
Look at... Bernie got a haircut!
He didn't brush his... He combed his hair!
He found his comb.
He didn't brush his hair with a balloon.
Look at Yang!
Yang's walking out... Did you see Yang, his little fictitious latchbird?
He was, like, walking out there like a Mexican boxer.
He's not wearing a tie.
All right, let's bring up some of the volume here.
We're going to be really careful tonight because we might get taken down, so we can't show it full screen.
Oh, I do like that he's not wearing a tie there.
Wait, how are they out there seven minutes before debate time?
Are they going to just send them back on in?
I've got to say, Yang looks pretty tight.
I've got to say, Bucky's smaller than a man named Yang.
Oh my gosh, he is!
Nothing like perpetuating the original stereotype, ButtGig.
And Barney just looks like he's shrinking into his suit like Tom Hanks in Big at the end.
I love it.
Walking down the street.
I still can't believe Barney combed his hair.
Swalwell.
That guy's gonna do something.
He's gonna say the dumbest or funniest thing tonight.
That's my bet.
Well, here's the thing.
He's desperate.
It's like a desperate fighter.
Oh, of course.
So expect the second tier people to come out and just be like... Just swing.
The Jews did 9-11!
You know?
Just to try and seal the headlines.
During the Republican primary, when we had 150 candidates, the debate was a matter of what one person was going to break out.
At our very first debate, Carly Fiorina had that really good performance.
She worked her way up to the main stage.
Look at him.
You know he has a stylist, Bernie, now.
Look, that's a whole different look, that's a whole different tie.
We need to make you look younger.
We gotta get a makeover over here.
Someone says, Bernie, listen, we are gonna... You're gonna love it.
You shifted the direction of the party.
And this is one thing I will say.
I agree with the Young Turks.
They were telling me how last night you could see Bernie's fingerprints all over the debate.
It is true.
The party has gone so much further to the left.
Remember when they asked Bernie, they said, uh, what do you think the most, uh, serious national security threat is in the last election?
And he said, climate change.
And everyone laughed.
Right.
Yesterday, everyone was like, me too, me too, climate change!
Yeah, absolutely.
That defaults now.
Which doesn't make, like, a sense, because the Democrats are in a position where, at least with the current president, not one of the most popular guys in the world, where if you're ever gonna, like, make a tag for the middle to try and peel off some more votes- It's not hard!
In three states.
Instead, they're going straight on to, like, the most Bat poop crazy leftist side of the politics.
Well, they think they're going to have success because of people like AOC.
So I don't think it's just Bernie.
I think it's because he's got somebody like AOC who really is just a dumpster fire that people are watching.
Again, the only reason AOC is elected is because she ran in New York City.
A ham sandwich you get elected in New York City if you're a Democrat.
We do want you to send in, by the way, the most American thing you can think of.
And actually, we did it ourselves.
As a matter of fact, I think we have it live actually right now.
We go to one of the most American things we could think of for cultural appropriation.
Do we have a concentration cam?
Mr. Crowder?
Someone?
Oh, we go now live to our concentration cam.
Yeah.
Senor Crowder, alguien?
Yo tengo hambre.
Alguien, please.
Por favor.
Yo no quiero estar aquí.
We're going to get Vas Bill Clinton's fault with the Flores consent policy.
I'm sorry.
And it was Obama who built it.
These shadows are what they are.
Do not blame me.
That was obviously someone who's been in the cage since Obama put him there, since Obama started it, and he wants our help.
I'm in the cage that Obama put there.
It's called the economy.
I feel great shame.
Fantastic, sir.
Tim from HR just walked in.
Did we already get taken down?
Please don't tell me we got taken down.
What are they doing?
They're just standing here very awkwardly.
They're posing for pictures.
By the way, tonight we have, I bet you they're going to talk, of course, border crisis, climate change, abortion, economy, education, election interference, guns, health care, immigration, slave reparations, universal child care.
Because slave reparations is mainstream now.
Well, it is now.
I'm waiting.
Who's operating this camera?
Did they just get the guy from The Wire?
What happened?
They're just doing this whole zoom-in handheld deal.
It's the same guys who shot Bohemian Rhapsody.
I always want to say Queen.
It is Queen!
No, the camera's just going back and forth.
Oh yeah, that shot where it's just constantly... Constantly moving around and you're like, I'm gonna throw up.
No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
I thought my wire reference was better timed.
Can you guys see this was all foam?
Yeah, mine's gone down too.
Well, listen, I have to pace myself because of the drinking game tonight.
It's always a lot of fun.
Of course, we're not liable if you...
What happens if I puke on electrical equipment that then takes the show down?
I will end you.
Use your beard as a puke bar.
I won't free you if you don't shut up!
Alright, fair enough.
So I'm trying to think, when we talk about how some of these people are racing super far to the left, or quickly to the left.
Pick one person on that stage tonight, one person who you would say, when they talk about the current Democratic Party, and they try to say that they're a party that's a wider tent, one person there, probably Biden, who would have reasonable points of view, who would be more of a centrist.
Maybe so.
I was going to say Yang.
Yang?
Yang wants $1,000 for every man, woman, and child!
But there's a lot of libertarians out there that might feel like that's not a bridge too far.
I don't think he's mainstream by any means, but I think he's going to identify more with the mainstream.
You know, if I'd have rented you for the evening for a lookalike, I'd send you back.
You sent me the retarded Abraham Lincoln!
I said not the retarded!
They'd say, uh, sir, do you have any proof of faulty Abraham Lincoln?
He said Andrew Yang was moderate!
They'd be like, alright.
Look at him, sir.
Turkey that won't be pardoned.
I said he came off.
The funny thing is, I think Hickenlooper and Bennett are actual moderates, but I don't know which one's Hickenlooper and which one's Bennett.
Oh, okay, hey, by the way, thank you so much, sweetheart.
Uh, something I find hilarious.
Did you know that Pete, so Pete Buttigieg, you just saw, he's smaller than Yang, right?
You saw Pete Buttigieg, smaller than Yang.
Very little man.
By the way, people say don't criticize him for his sexuality.
Criticize him for his ideas.
Okay, let me ask you this.
Everyone here, Pete Buttigieg.
Alright, his ideas are gay.
What are his ideas?
What do you know about Pete Buttigieg?
Gun control.
How much do you want to guarantee he talks about being a gay man tonight?
No one knows anything about Pete Buttigieg except for the fact that he's gay!
Yes.
He was a gay guy in the military.
Good for him.
If you think he's feminine, you think he's smart, which he is, credit.
Do you realize that his husband took his name?
So his husband, think about this, there is a man out there who ditched his maiden name to become Mrs. Butt Gig.
Well, that's commitment right there.
It's a true story.
Do you flip a coin?
How do you determine that?
This is a genuine question for any gay couple.
Rock, paper, scissors.
I honestly don't know.
You should know these things.
We should all know.
I thought they'd switch off every once in a while.
I'm wondering, when it comes to who proposes, do they just, whoever thinks of it first?
I have no idea.
Somebody takes that role.
Somebody's got to, I guess.
I don't know.
You know, I don't like it.
See, I feel like I don't know enough about this culture.
You definitely don't know enough.
I don't want to know.
If you send me on a special report anywhere to find out more, I will be pissed off.
No, we're going to send you to San Francisco just to actually monitor the fecal charts.
Okay, I'll do it.
As long as I can drive right up the road in Napa Valley, baby.
One minute.
By the way, this is something else.
Before we get into this, because we're going to be talking about pure policy when we get to the debates, and that's going to be wildly unfun.
But did you see that San Francisco, San Francisco not only banned Juul cigarettes, but by the way, their home is San Francisco, and vaping products and nicotine.
Not only do they ban it for sale in San Francisco, they banned shipping nicotine products to San Francisco.
Huh?
What are they focusing on?
You can go in as a tranny and take a dump on a fake mustache in a little girl's room, walk out, smoke a joint, take a crap in the street, but the second you grab a vaping product, you're kicked out of city lines.
That's incredible.
The things they choose to care about baffle me.
It doesn't baffle me at all.
It baffles me!
It makes perfect sense to me.
Even if people are being idiotic, right?
It's still baffling.
Okay, can we bring up the sound a little bit there, audio Wade?
Just so we can see.
I want to know when they start asking the questions.
This is really awkward that they're making them stand up there.
Do you think it's because of the fault last night?
Yeah, they're like, can you give us a few minutes to do audio checks?
It was just like backstage was Matthews taking a piss.
Cut to the cam in the back, please.
It's like, what was it, Naked Gun, 33 and a third, where he's in the bathroom?
That was what happened last night.
That was what happened.
Yeah, the mics kept going.
They were like, we have to go to a break, go to a break, go to a break, because you could hear other people's mics still on.
I didn't hear the other mics.
Yeah, it was wildly embarrassing.
So if I have to bet, probably Biden.
I think Bernie probably beats Donald Trump in a general.
I hate to say it.
I think he's the one who would have the most, the highest likelihood.
I'll explain to you why in a second.
Oh, look, Lester Holt.
Commonly known as, what race is that guy?
Question mark, man.
That is a little, that is a little... I think a lot of people picture, uh, Quarter Black Garrett, they think the picture in your wallet of your father is Lester Holt.
Aw, that's mean.
The one that just comes with the stock wallet.
I'm sorry, Dad, he's watching this right now.
And Chuck Todd always looks like... Chuck Todd looks like a family of caterpillars just went right onto his beard and just laid a bunch of eggs.
Oh my gosh.
Look at this guy, peeping.
Butt gig!
Boom!
Wow, you should know a lot about Gillibrand.
I know we don't want to place too much emphasis on being presidential, but if your headshot makes you look like Ben Shapiro would kick the crap out of you in a street fight... Swallow just looks so funny to me.
This is hilarious.
Andrew Yang?
What, did they take a picture of his picture on an old flip camera phone?
Yeah, pretty much.
He's trying to be more relatable, Steven.
No tie.
Actually, by the way, Andrew Yang is going to be on the show.
Gerald, what are you doing?
Sometime here soon.
Nice.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Is there something not going out with the stream?
I see Tim from HR here fixing something.
Tim from HR is just doing his HR thing.
All right.
OK, let's bring up the sound a little bit so we can hear this.
Let's go to the debates.
Who's first?
Send in most of it.
Hashtag crowd or debate stream.
Yes.
Watch along, because we have to keep the volume kind of in and out, because we never know if we're going to be removed.
Spirit and audience here tonight in the Anna Center.
Spirits and audience.
They just have cameras on them.
Right.
I will say Lester Holto always dresses nicely.
He does have good suits.
Yes.
He's got a good tailor.
And then he ruins it with those Harry Potter glasses.
With that face?
Wow.
No, I think Lester Holto is a very dapper gentleman.
Listen, why are you saying, is this all going to be ad hominem?
No, it's just nothing else has happened yet.
Yes, we're waiting.
And honestly, this is how it starts.
That's all we got.
Yes, we're just getting warmed up.
Yeah.
He looks like Chuck Schumer had sex with a G.I.
Joe.
Look at Williamson.
That's the face of a crazy woman.
That's the face of a crazy woman.
That's the face of a guy who oils your pet rabbit.
I would expect before the first question, she'd be like, Yo soy Espanol!
I swear somebody swallows my candidate that's gonna speak Spanish tonight.
He's my guy.
Alright, let me hear it.
I can't hear it that much, so let's... Yeah, that worked out like a charm last night.
It never works.
And they don't say anything!
Good bunch of blowhards.
Yeah, that worked out like a charm last night. It never works, and they don't say anything
You've called for big new Sanders like universal health care and free college in a recent interview
They absolutely have to.
calls for medical... oh yeah that's right, universal health care, free college by the
way, two drinks everybody.
Oh jeez, that's two.
My question to you is, will taxes go up for the middle class in a Sanders administration?
And if so, how do you sell that to voters?
Of course they will, they absolutely have to.
Let's hear his answer.
You're quite right, we have a new vision for America.
By the way, how's your vision, Bernie?
2035.
Okay.
No we don't.
No.
You do.
Hold on a second, let me hear.
Human right.
Human right, gosh!
There it is.
2035.
While 500,000 people are sleeping out on the streets today, we think it is time for change,
real change.
No we don't.
No.
You do.
Hold on a second, let me hear.
Change in my view is a human right.
Human right.
Human right, gosh.
There it is.
Gosh, human right, drink.
Under that system, by the way.
By the way, he's not answering the question.
Do you notice that?
He's not answering the question at all.
The question was, would middle class Americans see a tax raise under a Bernie administration?
Hold on a second.
Spoiler alert.
Yes!
The answer should be this.
Of course, you filthy bitch!
Have you seen any of my prior installments?
But that's the dumb thing with these glorified joint press conferences.
None of them answer the questions because they're talking to everyone at home.
Right.
Wall Street drink.
Wall Street drink.
Geez!
And billionaire!
By the way guys, this is a watch-along, so turn your TV to whatever station, live MSNBC, MSNBC over there.
So watch-along on one of the TV's.
Here you go, she's asking again.
People who have health care under Medicare for all will have no premiums, no deductibles, no medical payments.
Oh Lord!
That has nothing to do with taxes.
Those are private services.
Yes.
They will pay more in taxes.
I understand you asked a question.
There you go.
They will pay more in taxes.
Whoa!
Okay, and here, by the way, this is something that's really important to note.
When people say, it's a tax break for the wealthy.
Okay, we've talked about this and I think we have this.
See if we can bring it up as an overlay at some point.
Here tonight.
When you look at Americans, and specifically you look at the bottom 20%, not only do they pay nothing in taxes, but when you look at the federal transfers that they see, they pay net negative, meaning federal transfers, welfare, public programs, food stamps, things like that that they get, they pay a net negative of 58%.
All the way up through the middle class, there's a net negative that they pay an income tax.
Then you have the top 20% pay 30% of their income in taxes.
47% of Americans pay no federal income tax whatsoever.
So when people say, this is a tax break for the rich, it is necessarily a tax break for that remaining half America who pay taxes and don't have net federal transfers.
This is the big lie that they don't want to tell you.
That's why Bernie Sanders doesn't want to answer that question.
Every single person would have to pay more in taxes.
You want to know how someone would pay more in taxes in the middle class?
If they paid 1%, they'd be paying more in taxes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Alright, they're asking Biden.
Is he even saying something worth listening to?
...to return dignity to the middle class, they have to have insurance that is covered and they can afford it...
That your party, your administration destroyed.
...there's continuing education and they're able to pay for it.
And they have to make sure that they're able to...
That's a little crazy.
That's a lower third.
I thought it was a tea kettle.
Hold on, I do want to hear what he's saying.
Donald Trump has put us in a horrible situation.
We do have enormous income inequality.
Yeah, Donald Trump has put us in a horrible situation.
50 year unemployment low.
Highest job participation rate that we've seen in decades.
We have more jobs than there are people to fill them.
I know that.
Here's the thing.
Right now, there's no doubt that economic opportunity is better than ever before.
The only way, the only way that you don't buy that is if you give in to envy and say, yeah, but that CEO has more.
The entire spectrum of answers right now have just been based on the seven deadly sins.
It's gluttony, envy, lust, I'm sure.
I saw someone looking at Williamson.
Someone get Kevin Spacey with the palladium strap on.
Okay, hold on.
What'd she say?
What'd she say?
Blah, blah, blah.
Top 1% drink.
That's the drinking sound, by the way.
Can we get one of the ladies to... I'm already out.
It's frustrating.
That's the drinking sound, by the way.
I'm already out.
You need a fresh drink?
Can we get a refill?
What?
What?
Hold on a second.
People who work the most.
have been written in favor of the people who have the most and not in favor of the people
who work the most.
Which is why I am proposing that we change the tax code so that for every family that
is making less than $50,000 a year, they can use the tax code to collect up to $500 a year,
Whoa, no.
34 hours.
34 hours.
That's the average amount of time worked for the average American worker right now.
I haven't seen a 34-hour week since 20.
Wait, what is that?
That's a 34-hour work week.
And literally, dumber and dumber, they were mocking them.
They said, they're not a job in this town.
Yeah.
Unless you want to work 40 hours a week.
And everyone was laughing back then.
They think they'll work less than 40 hours a week.
Today, the average work week is 34 hours.
Wow.
That's insane.
By the way, she said she was day one.
Who is that guy?
I don't even know.
Who is that man?
It's Applejack.
You know him.
Who is that man?
It's Applejack!
Come on, you know him, man!
Oh, that is Hickenlooper.
Hickenlooper!
Oh man, that's a rug that would give Frank Luntz a run for his money.
Okay, now is this toupee, would you say you approve?
Hands up?
Disapprove.
Approve?
Disapprove.
Disapproved. Disapproves, have it.
We can't promise every American a government job.
If you want to get universal health care coverage, I believe that health care is a priority.
Can't promise every American government job.
Bernie's health care WORKS FOR ME!
Universal health care.
He said it.
Isn't that one of the words?
Where's my list?
Okay, maybe it's not.
It's Colorado, right?
Yeah.
Former governor of Colorado.
Wait, what does this have to do with health care?
Look at Yang, he looks so bored.
on it right? Yeah. Former governor of Colorado. What does this have to do with... look at
Yang he looks so bored. I don't know if that's bored or if that's just resting Asian face.
Where's half Asian lawyer Bill when you need him to really weigh in?
I feel like they might have some facial recognition software.
Hickenlooper's gonna lose this election because he couldn't be bothered with white strips.
It's back to Bernie already?
He looks perpetually confused.
I'm sorry, what?
Really?
Oh, really?
Oh, racist, racist!
was 10 points ahead of Donald Trump because the American people understand that Trump
is a phony, that Trump is a pathological liar and a racist, and that he was a stand-alone.
Of all the criticisms to lob at Donald Trump, racist is not one of them.
It doesn't work.
No one really buys the whole racist thing.
There's that one story like 20 years ago in the hotel.
Come on.
What happened in the hotel?
Is that where he raped his wife?
No.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, come on.
Allegedly.
I'm just saying, like, if you toss, if I were a Democrat, I would toss that in there.
I'd toss that in there, you know, someone runs a search, there's reasonable doubt, right?
I wouldn't, I wouldn't go into racist.
No one buys it anymore.
Pay attention to me!
Right, exactly.
Meghan McCain lost weight.
Greed is good.
Hold on a second.
Why is it greedy, right?
Why is it greedy for someone who's created jobs and earned wealth to keep it, but it's not greedy for Bernie to take it?
Bernie, by the way, let's not act as though when Bernie takes it, he's giving it to charity.
Less than 3%.
Multi-millionaire, less than 3% to charity.
Exactly.
Probably wrote off his underwear donation too.
Scrooge McDuck thinks he's a prick.
I just can't wait for President Kirsten.
And Vice President Stacey Dash.
They're really just throwing out all of these things without any evidence.
They're saying these things are bad and I can fix them by changing the economy in this kind of way.
Wait, now who's that guy?
That's Bennett.
We back to Bennett?
He's from Colorado.
He's probably high.
I thought Hickenlooper was Colorado.
Senator.
Hickenlooper's governor.
Former governor.
This is a senator.
That's bullshit!
I'm sorry.
That is bullshit.
This is one of the biggest lies that you hear out here.
They say, oh, they talked about this last night.
There hasn't been economic growth.
First off, there's more economic opportunity today in America than there has been in over half a century.
Now what they try to say is, Average earnings hasn't gone up.
No, no.
What they use is they use a metric, average hourly earnings, okay?
And they say that hasn't gone up.
It really hasn't gone up that much when adjusted for inflation.
It's remained pretty constant.
But you know what has gone up 5% year over year?
Huh?
It's average individual income.
That's the important measurement.
In other words, for example, everyone here, right, who's worked at this company, Quarter Black Garrett, Audio Wade, Too Cute Maddie, we have Columbia Maddie there.
I want to ask about Beto's Spanish in not too long.
Right, yeah.
They move up within the company.
Now, if you're a PA at the company, that job is still worth the same amount.
Of course, it gets an increase because of inflation.
That being said, people in this company make more money.
Flipping burgers at McDonald's is still worth about the same amount.
It still presents the same amount of value.
But individuals consistently make more.
And the reason there's a big difference between average hourly earnings versus individual income is it takes into account how long you've been into a job, how young you are.
And the longer you live, the longer you've been at a company, you kind of hit this arc.
Right, and I think we have this as an overlay.
Too Cute Maddie can bring this up.
There's an arc, and there's a chart that shows people get huge raises at the middle portion of their career.
They start off, it stays pretty stagnant.
Then they move up, and when they get older, it remains relatively stagnant because now they're in the upper echelon of earnings.
This idea that Americans do not earn more is not true, and I want you to tweet me.
Tweet me at Ask Crowder.
Use the Crowder hashtag, Crowder Debate Stream, and let me know if you've worked in the same job for 10 years or more, if you have not seen an increase.
That's why I don't think this is going to work, because people go, hold on a second, I know that's not true.
Yeah, and he's saying that only 10% of Americans are really benefiting from this economy.
Are you serious?
When unemployment goes down, who do you think got employed?
Oh, on Butt Gig, yeah.
Student debt.
He didn't say get rid of it.
Can we have a lower third for Butt Gig?
you ought to be able to refinance your student debt.
He didn't say get rid of it.
Don't we have a lower third for Buckley?
Oh, it's coming in.
For low and middle income students, for whom cost could be a barrier.
Ah.
What did he say?
I just don't believe it makes sense to have working class families to subsidize even the children of billionaires.
They pay a net negative of 20-50% in taxes.
This is what's crazy to me.
Listen, I understand that you don't like billionaires.
I get it, right?
They have a lot of stuff.
People are jealous.
You don't like billionaires.
You think they're dicks.
Understood.
But the fact is, an average lower middle class American is being subsidized by the wealthy class.
They're not subsidizing billionaires.
They're receiving more federal transfers than they're paying in income tax.
47% of Americans don't pay federal income taxes.
That's what killed Romney's campaign.
Remember, everyone got furious with him when he said 47% of Americans don't pay federal income taxes.
Mother Jones or whatever.
Everyone should pay something.
Yeah, absolutely.
How about two percent?
How about two?
Anything.
Guess what?
You'd see an entirely different voting bloc.
Yes, you would.
For the same reason they don't want there to be voter ID, because they know that they would see an entirely different voting bloc, right?
No, we couldn't possibly be bothered to make sure that people are citizens on the census or to vote in the next representative of the United States, the next most powerful leader of the free world.
For that same reason, they don't want people to pay taxes.
Because if people pay taxes, guess what?
Democrats never win again.
No.
I want to hear this guy.
Oh, gang gang!
UBI.
I like him just because he's a wrestling fan.
Sorry?
It's difficult to do if you have companies... What?
Me so sorry!
Don't ask.
Me so sorry!
...while they're closing 30% of our stores.
Now, we need to put the American people in position to benefit from all these innovations and other parts of the economy.
And if we had a value-added tax at even half the European level... Oh gosh, here we go.
Taxing again.
We need people to see benefits from innovation.
Typically, innovation is a benefit in and of itself.
Yeah.
Millions, huh?
Hold on a second.
Here's a question.
How does that fix it, right?
He says, right, people are, you know, these innovations are hurting people, and if we give them $1,000, they'll spend it in their local economies.
Or people will take $1,000, they could spend it on anything, they could spend it on drugs, they could spend it on booze, or they could also, as most people are doing now, spend it on Amazon.
How do you know they're going to a local craft brewery?
Yeah, exactly.
Honestly, the market has spoken.
People benefit from the innovation.
People benefit from the convenience.
They don't want you to spend your money the way you want.
Bottom line.
Bottom line.
We want to do the same thing to millions of retail jobs, call
center jobs, fast food jobs, truck driving jobs, and on and on through the economy.
So, Jerry, if I get you to understand a little bit better, so you're saying $1,000 a month for everyone over
18, but a value-added tax so you can spend that $1,000
on value-added tax?
Well, the value-added tax would end up, you'd still be increasing the power of the bottom 94%
This is why there's Internet Famous, and there's reality.
By the way, they tried this, I believe if I'm not mistaken, in Canada and Sweden.
Were they Canada-Sweden, Canada-Denmark?
And they immediately stopped it.
It was a horrible program.
Something like 44% of people dropped out from the workforce.
Yeah, less likely to go to work.
Yeah, they were less likely to go to work.
And it was supposed to be a three-year program, and they stopped it after, like, 15 to 18 months, something like that.
It was ridiculous.
Yeah, they said, this is not working well.
Turns out, giving people free money because some Asian guy said so.
This is a really bad idea.
This is really not a good way to run the economy.
Turns out.
Well, and look, there's a video out there, I think, on Amazon or Netflix about innovation.
Now, is he an African or a European Swalwell?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm going to interrupt you.
I don't know.
Your point.
No, no, no, no, no.
I, I just think that innovation, it's like, it's like bank tellers being pissed off that ATMs came around, right?
Right.
It's the, all of these like horse and carriage people basically got pissed off at the car.
Okay.
Did that net jobs to the economy or did it take away?
By the way, we could also have people dig ditches with spoons.
You'd have a hell of a lot of that.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the ATM, I just called it the money machine.
And I just remember my parents said, we can't afford that.
I would say, well, go to the money machine.
Interesting fact, Bernie Sanders still thinks that.
He never grew out of that, right?
He never figured that one out.
Hold on a second, this is gonna cost us 18 trillion dollars.
JUST GO TO THE MONEY MACHINE!
Right.
YOU PUNCH IN!
NO, NO!
Well, hold on a second, I don't think you understand.
I don't have anything to withdraw.
NO, NO, NO, NO!
YOU JUST NEED TO PUNCH IN THE FOUR DIGIT CODE!
That's not how it works, Bernie.
No, perhaps I'm not explaining myself clearly!
There's a machine that gives you money!
One would say that's its sole purpose, is to dispense cold, hard, slutty cash!
Hey look, Biden's on and he's not raping anybody.
Yes!
Oh, give him time.
Give him time.
I was like, I wish he looked at me.
Turn it up.
I want to hear this.
I want to see what the interchange is here.
Do you know why?
It's called a job.
who graduates from high school, 65 out of 100 now need something beyond high school.
And we should provide for them to be able to get an education.
It's called a job. Thank God there's a surplus.
We do not have anyone have to pay back a student debt when they get out.
they make less than $25,000 a year.
Their debt is frozen.
No interest payment until they get beyond that.
If you go to college and graduate and make less than $25,000 a year, that is all on you.
I took out a $100,000 loan.
I can only find a job for 25K.
I do like that we went from Hickenlooper's Jafar in the prison teeth to dentures on Biden.
It's a very nice contrast.
Well, look, he talks about people needing something beyond high school.
You know why that became a thing, right?
A high school diploma used to mean something in this country, right?
And I know there's been innovations and the demand for skills, but then it became college.
Okay, everybody has to be shoved into college right now, and we have to subsidize it, which makes all the rates go up, and now you have useless college degrees, so it's post-graduate degrees now that everybody's asking for.
Hold on, Bernie's yelling about something.
To me, he doesn't look like an angry old man there.
That's a good thing.
Swallow.
Oh Oh
Senator Harris, please. We will let you all speak.
Senator Harris, would you like to comment on the fact that your career was started by sleeping with a mayor?
What?
Samosas.
We continue on to the next.
Oh, don't.
They don't want to see a food fight.
They want to know how we're going to put food on the table.
And she gets an applause for that.
Are they going to a break?
It sounds like they played a bump.
Here's the thing, and I know a lot of young people, right?
They're in the Bernie Bros and the Yang Gang.
I really feel like they're pandering to losers tonight.
Honestly, here's the big difference between this and Republic.
Whether you like Donald Trump or not, you say he's lying.
But guess what?
His lie is predicated on the idea... You believe that he's lying to you and telling you that you can be independent.
It's great, isn't it?
Right?
The economy's great.
Everyone, you can go out there and make your dreams come true.
Like, he's lying!
Whereas these people are telling people that they cannot make it.
That everything is stacked against them.
So even then, what do they have to do?
They have to, in order to win your votes, they have to keep you poor.
They have to...
Keep you uneducated and fat and a marginalized class.
That's why they keep inventing them by the day.
It is remarkable to me.
Why are they not talking about the vast majority of Americans who pay off their debt either immediately or don't accrue student debt?
Who worked their way through college.
What about those people?
By the way, you want to talk about people who are paying a net negative income tax because of the federal transfers?
They're paying less than they're actually receiving?
Let's make students pay 2% income tax.
This entire debate thus far has pandered to people who pay no tax, who contribute nothing to this economy.
And if you were to watch this, you'd go, hold on a second.
I get free school, I get free health care, and a thousand dollars in my pocket.
So someone who started watching this debate going, man, I have to make some life decisions.
Maybe the underwater gender studies basket weaving at a local college isn't the right way to go.
I should straighten up and fly right.
They tune into this and go, no, I'm confident with my choices.
I feel good about this.
People respond to the incentives that they're given, right?
And I know people would say, oh, it's not an easy way out.
And they know that.
That's why they want to ban Big Ops and Juul cigarettes.
Yeah.
They want more and more and more government control.
They're telling you that you can't make it.
Now, we're not talking about the extreme of somebody who has a legitimate reason why they're in poverty and all of the wonderful charity cases out there, or charity, not cases, but charities, out there that help those people.
What did you say?
Somebody said, oh, he said the word!
I melt!
Oh, he said it again!
That word, don't say that word!
Right?
Charity, charity!
Oh, God!
It burns!
We're talking about giving money to everyone.
Not everyone, just the people we're going to vote for.
No, no.
Universal basic income gives it to everyone.
Now you end up in a net loss if you're paying a lot of money and you only get $1,000 back, but you're paying $20,000 a year because of the new taxes.
You just talked about it being $3 trillion.
Don't worry, Bernie has it figured out.
And by the way, you know what happens with a VAT tax?
If you pay a sales tax for your state, it's on top of that.
And guess what?
Name me one place that's ever had a VAT tax that's A, gone down or gone away.
It never happens.
Speaking of VAT, it smells like Brodigan bathed himself in a vat of gin this morning.
Yeah, it's been early.
It's very similar.
I would call it Medicare for all who want it.
You take something like Medicare, a flavor of that... In other words, a public option.
By the way, Medicare, drink.
I just did.
I was on it.
That will be not only a more inclusive plan, but a more efficient plan than any of the corporate answers out there.
Really?
It will be a very natural glide path to the single payer environment.
To destruction.
Glide path right into the wall.
Into the ground, yeah.
Just crash and burn.
Actually, that's not necessarily true.
It is now, for example, in Canada, when I was there in Canada, they weren't allowed to have private sector medicine, right?
It actually wasn't allowed.
There was a Supreme Court case in 2005, Chauvi versus Quebec, and what happened was there was this guy, Chauvi, who was a doctor.
And he was actually treating, this is true, google this right now, Shawee versus Quebec, you can bring this up.
So people need to understand the only reason they allowed privatized hospitals, they call
them in Canada super hospitals, we call them in the United States hospitals, the only reason
they opened them up was because so many people were dying in the face of wait lines, as you
see in all socialized healthcare countries, by the way, they won't bring that up on the
Young Turks, objective measurements are worse in socialized healthcare countries.
People were dying and they said, okay, Dr. Shouey, we'll pay you to take care of us,
right?
And he did, and he was fine and he was being shut down.
And the Supreme Court ruled it is a violation of human rights to not allow people who are
essentially dying, right?
In our current healthcare system.
To pay.
To pay for healthcare.
Yeah.
And so it opened it up to privatized healthcare because there were a record number of deaths that, by the way, would not have occurred in the United States.
So this idea that, well, the only reason they allow market-driven insurance in these other countries is because they have to.
And it creates a secure system.
Because their system fails.
Yes, their system fails.
How many third world countries became great through socialism?
Haiti.
Alright, fine.
What's the bar on that?
Get those thumbs.
Secondly.
That's what he's talking out of.
secondly whether they have private insurance employer insurance or no
insurance exchange to medicare like it's at that time he's talking
out of you know i mean i i i i literally saw the difference
between my dad's health care
before obama care that my mom and they have to go to the same issues right
during obama care That's a brave stance.
Democrat who opposes the take down Obamacare and then a Republican who wants to get rid
of it.
Oh that's a brave stance.
If I oppose anyone who wants to take down Obamacare.
You got any kids?
Alright, Bernie's about to get into this.
Let's hear this.
Vermont had to stop their program.
That's what people don't realize.
Vermont had basically a socialized healthcare program, a single-payer system, and they said that's not working.
Nope.
Can't do it.
That's a good thing.
No.
They haven't.
They haven't!
They provide crappy health care.
It's like saying I provide a free lunch to everybody and it's a ham sandwich or a turkey sandwich.
They haven't.
Obviously they haven't and they didn't!
They provide crappy healthcare!
It's like saying I provide a free lunch to everybody and it's a ham sandwich or a turkey sandwich.
By the way, it's actually just human shit in a sandwich!
But you've been provided with a lunch, so don't complain.
Be happy.
This is one thing, too.
People always say, and you see this on all the leftist websites, they say, well, their healthcare measurements are actually better.
We're only ranked 36th or 46th in the United States.
We're ranked underneath Colombia and right next to Slovenia, okay?
We're ranked below Cuba, by the way.
These measurements come from subjective Yeah.
Because it's free!
People say, yeah, I'm satisfied with my health care.
Yeah.
But when you look at it, are you more or less likely to die from serious diseases?
What are the wait times?
Your best chance, here's a simple fact, OK?
If you have a terminal illness, period, if you are on planet Earth, the single biggest
determining factor in your survival, whether you're rich, poor, black, or white, is do
you live in the United States?
Yeah.
That's it.
Sure.
Do we have a flawed system?
Absolutely.
But there is no doubt that the quality of care is not only better in the United States, but we're the only country, statistically, pretty much, that provides virtually all medical innovation.
Again, but that's a bad thing.
That's a bad thing.
We're talking about innovation whether it's Amazon or curing polio.
Right.
Well, and it's a hard thing.
It's almost impossible to go back from.
Once you switch the system over, It's really hard to build it back up to what it used to be.
It's really hard to go back to a system where I can go out and pick my own insurance company, because the insurance companies kind of go away to some degree in that, right?
And the hospital system starts to degrade.
So if Canada right now wanted to switch everything back over to kind of a free market system, they probably couldn't do it.
Oh, hold on!
Williamson!
Who's this?
Yeah, who us?
We heard you wrote a book about yoga.
So?
How's it selling?
Not well, Lester.
Here's Big Pharma.
Why don't you see an SNL?
high cost of health care how would you so how's it selling not well Lester
with the big pharma that they couldn't negotiate here's the pharma the regular
corruption by which multinational you know I want to say that while I agree
Oh, you know what?
I forgot.
We do have to go pretty soon.
Hold on.
I do want to hear Williamson, and then let's get Ruben on the phone.
We have Dave Ruben coming up here.
Oh, nice.
Again, hashtag Crowder Debate Stream.
You can sign up for Mug Club.
We don't have a discount code going right now because we're actually still backlogged with other mugs, and we're shipping those out, but you can join up.
LivewithCrowder.com slash Mug Club.
Beautiful.
Can I get one of the breads with the refill?
Fraud?
Jeez.
Oh, really?
Oh.
Which could be fixed if you aligned your chakras and rocked in a tantric yogi position.
You put hot rocks on your chest.
But whatever you do, don't vaccinate yourself!
My nationalized healthcare solution... They list author!
My national healthcare solution, Chinese cupping.
Fix the national healthcare crisis by getting rid of fracking, sweetheart.
It has to do with environmental policies.
It has to do with...
Yes, yes.
No, her time has not expired.
Not in her eyes.
Fix the national health care crisis by getting rid of fracking, sweetheart.
Yes.
Do you want to keep the system that we have in place with Obamacare and build up?
I feel like she needs to read Jordan Peterson's book.
Let me know when we have Dave Rubin there on the phone.
And by the way, you've been hitting the lower thirds there, Garrett?
Oh yeah.
I can't say okay.
Don't forget, we have our black African American culture appropriations.
That's true.
When they bring up, they're going to talk about reparations here.
He looks like he's always sucked on half a lemon.
A little weird.
I don't want you to screw up my healthcare system.
Just leave it alone.
No, I don't think I need to leave it alone.
I do think I need to fix it.
No, I mean they need to keep their hands off it.
Somebody else who's better equipped to handle this needs to be the one fixing it.
Not them.
You guys.
Leave it alone.
Stop.
You're screwing it up.
says that Canada is single-payer, there are 35 million people in Canada.
There are 330 million people in the United States.
Oh, that's good math.
Easily the number of people- Easily, man!
That's what I'm saying.
He looks like he had a stroke.
Yeah, he does have a stroke face.
Hey, we don't know.
You don't know?
We don't know if we have that.
I don't want to go back to that after the dumpster fire fiasco.
That was a problem.
Dumpster fire!
Hit here!
You realize he had shingles.
It's still funny.
Oh my gosh.
His mouth looks like Dana Carvey doing a character.
We were talking about cosmetic procedures, man!
That is literally the greatest description I've ever heard of anything ever.
Doesn't it?
It looks like Dana Carvey's mouth.
I'd like to go a little longer there, but I won't.
Excuse me!
Look at the Bernie finger.
It looks like the cover of that movie.
Was it movie Strangers?
Yes.
With the hitting the doorbell?
That's Bernie's finger.
It's a demon!
Now I can't look at Bennett without thinking, like, Master of Disguise 2.
2020.
Oh, yeah.
Green.
Green.
There we go.
2020.
...of healthcare in this country because we'll stop the greed of the insurance companies.
Oh, yeah.
Greed.
Greed.
Oh, gosh.
There we go.
I'm out.
Somebody pay attention to me, please!
I'm here!
Because here's the presumption.
Insurance companies, right?
They're all greedy.
They only have a profit motive.
But clearly, everyone on this stage, most of them have never worked in the private sector a day in their life outside of god-lover Williamson, who wrote a wildly unsuccessful book.
They all have inherently altruistic motives.
So you would have to believe that every single person who works at an insurance company or a health-sharing non-profit, like we use with Liberty Healthcare, right?
You would have to believe that all of them are somehow evil, but everyone on this stage and the 42 others on stage last night, because they have a D next to their name, are inherently good-hearted.
Yeah, absolutely.
And know what they're talking about with this stuff.
That this would actually work and make the outcomes better for everybody.
And that's not true.
It's never been proven anywhere.
As bad as insurance is, if I hate my insurance, right?
All of us probably have different insurance plans.
If I hate my insurance, I can go to another plan.
That being said, if they are president, certainly Bernie, and certainly... I'm trying to remember who has a Medicare for all versus universal health care versus public options.
Half of them.
Certainly Bernie, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris.
If they had their way, if the plan sucks, they have nowhere to go.
If people would just focus on reducing the cost of healthcare instead of worrying about insurance, that would be better.
We have a guest, actually.
I'm excited to bring him on.
Don't call him Pete Buttgig.
We have Dave Rubin on the show.
Mr. Rubin, can you hear me, sir?
Yes, Crowder.
Can you repeat Mayor Pete's last name?
One second.
Can we get him through the speaker or no?
Do I need a headphone?
Hold on one second there, Ruben.
Is there a way to get him coming out through the speaker?
We are working on that.
Alright, one second Dave Rubin.
For some reason I'm not hearing you for one second.
Look at him.
And the answer to that question is Butt Gig.
That's how we're pronouncing his name.
By the way, I'm going to get rid of this because I keep clicking this stupid thing.
Hold on one second.
Yeah, his name is Butt Gig.
Wow.
That's how I pronounce it, just because... Spooty Gig.
Yeah, one second.
And if not, you can just blare it from your headphones and I can probably hear them there.
I want to hear what Butt Gig is saying because that'll be a good segue.
And we do ourselves no favors by having 11 million undocumented people in our country be unable to access... We shouldn't have 11 million undocumented people with no pathway to citizenship.
It makes no sense.
And the American people... We should have audio.
Okay, alright.
Senor Dave Rubin, are you there, sir?
Crowder, gracias amigo!
Como estas?
How's your Spanish?
Me gusta ti trimmer set at George Clooney.
What do you do?
Do you just take the trimmer and set it at George Clooney in Syriana?
It's always the exact same length.
I feel very good about the trim.
Well, I wanted to trim nicely for these fine Democratic presidential candidates.
He's well put together.
These people who in only a few minutes of watching this thing have taken all of my money.
Yes, yes.
And about a half, actually no, sorry, it's three-fifths of the American economy.
Let me ask you this, Dave, because you've obviously talked about former Libyan of the Young Turks and a progressive.
Back when you were more, or I guess a liberal and you're more of a classical, we get it, we get it, we get it, okay?
Anyone here, would there have been at any point in your life, anyone up here who you think would have really appealed to you, who you would have voted for?
Well, it's funny because last night, which was such an absolute debacle and just not one interesting, remotely decent idea, you know, I tweeted out this thing like, are they banned from saying freedom or liberty or capitalism?
Like, did the DNC say you just can't say that?
When I was watching it last night, I really realized fully how far off the deep end these guys have gotten.
I mean, out of this crew, You know, I had Yang on the show, and I think he's a pretty decent guy and has some interesting ideas.
And by the way, he's against $50 minimum wage.
It's not for college.
I mean, he has some ideas of capitalism with rattling, and I think he's a decent human.
You know, Joe is more like an old-school Democrat, which it's not really a point anymore.
Oh, I thought you meant like Kennedy's in that, you know, they rape.
We're not going back to Camelot.
No, look, the rest of them, they think government is the answer to everything.
They want your money, they think they know how to run their lives.
There's no answer to any problem that they don't think involves government.
My answer to every problem would be just get the government out of my life.
So, you know, here we are, Starman.
How do you feel Pete Buttgig represents your community?
White people community?
Alien?
Uh, I mean, uh, practicing homosexual community.
This is a genuine question.
When you got married, Dave, because I've met, by the way, I've spoken with your husband and he's lovely.
Have you ever met, he's also named Dave.
Sorry, I hope I'm not letting the cat out of the bag, but really fun guy.
I want to party with that dude.
You're okay too.
I've never partied with someone dressed like that, for the record.
I have my charm.
How did you guys determine, did you both keep your names?
Well, technically we could have flipped, right?
And I could have taken his last name and he could have taken my last name, which would have been quite bizarre.
But no, we didn't do that.
He goes by David, anyway, as a first name, and I go by Dave, so, you know.
No, I meant last name, because I found out that Pete, his husband, took his name, and so if you go and search him, his husband has a very long last name.
You know, listen, this is just a room full of sorry straight guys who are wondering, how does that work?
And it was just an ignorant question.
We just decided we were just going to keep our names, and it's all good, and you know.
That makes it easy.
Here's the thing, you just mentioned it sort of economically, right?
They want to take all of your money and take over the economy.
Now, it seems to me when you became more sort of, when you left the left, you say they left you, you sort of came into it more so from a free speech angle, but it seems like you've gotten, I hate to use the word, progressively more sort of economically libertarian or conservative.
Is that about right?
No, that's completely right.
I mean, if anything, that's the one thing I say I've shifted on.
Most of the liberal things I believe in are the same things that I've always And if you're a true liberal, you can argue most of your liberal things, say gay marriage and legalizing weed.
You can argue them from a libertarian perspective, which I think is much saner, actually.
But the one place I shift on, for sure, is economics.
I'm a small business owner.
I understand how these things operate right now.
And by the way, like you, I've talked to Tom Sowell on the show.
I've talked to tons of great libertarian and conservative economists.
Their policies basically make sense.
They're not perfect, but they basically make sense.
And they give you the opportunity to do what you want with your money and your life.
And these guys all think, I mean, watching it right now, this endless parade, this clown car up there, like, they think that they know how to run your life better than you do.
And it's like, if you had a problem, which one of these people would you really want to call?
Like, I got a problem.
Let me call Kamal.
You know, it's like, actually ridiculous.
I would love to vote for a politician who said, I don't even like you people.
I don't want anything to do with you people.
Please never call me.
I won't bother.
Don't bother me.
That's my public.
Well, that's pretty much what Donald Trump says.
He just says it once you turn your back.
I don't like him.
I will never shake his head, especially if I have to eat bread.
No Ethiopian food today.
All right, listen, we do have to go, David, because you didn't eat with your hands.
Ethiopian food, all right.
I'm dying out here.
Dave Rubin, we're going to have you back on the Standard Show.
I know you want to get back to your viewing party.
We appreciate it, brother.
And I'm always interested in hearing your viewpoint.
Thank you, man.
Crowder, I'm going to go eat Chinese food now.
I know you think that somehow makes it gay, but it's just regular Chinese food.
No, it doesn't make it gay, but you know what?
It's going to be very much like this debate in that once you're done with it, 15 minutes later, you're going to want to do it all over again.
So thank you very much.
I'll see you, Dave Rubin.
All right, Kamala Harris.
Let's go to it.
It's really quick.
And then we do have to go to a commercial break because I have to pee.
Oh, well, there you go.
I really like Dave Rubin.
He's such a nice guy.
He's a nice guy.
He took that question in stride, too.
He's nice.
You know, here's the thing.
Obviously, I joke, but these are genuinely curious questions.
Like, how many questions have I asked you about being a quarter black?
I'm like, man, when you were being raised, what was that like?
Were people surprised?
When we talk about bridging the racial divide, you don't have to act colorblind.
And the truth is, the only way you learn of these things...
Smooth Manny back there.
I don't know anything about Columba aside from Shakira and Pablo Escobar.
He teaches me, right?
That's how it happens.
Don't talk about the king.
The king?
Oh jeez.
Alright, let's see what... She's pounding the podium.
Wait, is it just me or she got notably blacker?
She did, she popped out the Ibonics.
Yes, because you came here illegally!
Whoa, yes, that was an illegal coming here.
Hickenlooper made more like Hickenpooper.
You've been holding that in your back pocket, haven't you?
Look, watch.
It's Jafar in the prison cell.
Watch when Hickenlooper... Look, that is the face of a crazy lady!
That is the face of a crazy lady!
Williamson.
Me?
Huh?
Huh?
At least he knows to keep his mouth closed when he's not talking because he's like, just don't show them the chompers.
Stop saying that they're all asking for asylum.
Doesn't look like Jafar in the Aladdin prison.
It does, it has that angle.
Vote for John Hickenlooper.
He looks like an eagle.
By the way, you want to know how you solve the problem when we talk about the crisis right now?
The only way you solve it is if you make sure they can't come in.
If you make sure there's a wall.
If you make sure you secure our borders.
Listen, it's just like not disciplining a kid.
It ends up being far worse for them down the line.
If you let people in, You have to put them somewhere.
You have to do something with these people.
And what do they want?
They want to just let everyone be granted immunity, become American citizens, and close the books.
We're saying, don't let them in in the first place.
And by the way, when we're talking about people in cages, again, that goes back to Clinton and the Flores Consent Policy, which Barack Obama violated because he saw it as an incentive to discourage illegal immigration by caging kids with their parents.
I want to make sure we understand this.
It was okay when he did it.
Yeah, and I know it's increased drastically.
They'll say, well, it's increased drastically since Donald Trump became president.
Because we had 100,000 illegal immigrants in March.
And by the way, do you know why more?
Because the economy is better.
How do these people talk about the crisis of mass migration while not acknowledging the reason for the crisis of mass migration?
And if you've got a problem where you have too many undocumented people that live here, and by the way, that's a problem for them too.
They live in a shadow economy.
They can't call on justice to help them if they're being robbed or if they're being exploited in some way because they're living in the shadows.
They'd be deported.
So they get taken advantage of all of the time.
So it's bad for them, it's bad for everybody.
The first thing you would do is close the door.
You know where they don't have this crisis?
Let's just make sure nobody else comes in.
Do you know where they don't have this crisis?
Finland.
You know who figured this out?
Israel.
They built a wall.
What was it?
A couple million dollars per mile?
They built like a hundred and fifty-ish?
Yes, it's not entirely appropriate, you know, because of rockets and terrorists, but I understand the principle.
Well, no, I'm just saying they figured it out.
They had people coming in that they wanted to make sure didn't come in.
They had a problem.
They solved that problem.
Yes.
For the most part, right?
What is she saying right now?
To buy her book.
Crazy things.
Something about gays and AIDS and like prayer and just happy thoughts.
She's the kind of crazy broad who would try to cure your HIV with lavender oil.
Just put some tussin' on it.
Just mix some frankincense in your LaCroix!
You'll be the next Magic Johnson!
What is in my book?
Some eucalyptus on your ball sack?
Your syphilis will be a thing of the past!
But I've transitioned.
Oh, it made it up to!
It made it up to $1,155 on Amazon Best Seller!
Williamson's one of those people where I see claims and people say things on Twitter, I'm like, I guess that could be true.
I don't know.
I'm sorry, I'm out.
I'm out.
You're out.
Thank you very much.
Golly, you guys are drinkers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Almost had a woman down.
Careful, careful.
Someone's got to give you a fresh one in the kitchen later.
Let's bring up the volume a little bit.
Wait, hold on a second.
We want to pay for lawyers for every asylum seeker?
So let's rack up the bill right now.
Free healthcare, free education, $1,000 for everybody, right?
Thank you very much.
And now lawyers for illegal immigrants.
Yeah.
How about this?
The first safe country you arrive to is where you have to apply for asylum.
First and foremost, if you're not from Mexico and you're applying for asylum, The line starts a little to the south.
Yeah, you know what?
Apply there.
I hate to say it, but that would backfire because there is no safe country.
No, Mexico, relatively speaking, is not a war zone, right?
They're not a country that is in a state of war.
They're not fleeing religious persecution of Mexico.
No, and look, there may be drug cartels, but there's still places that you can go.
I'm sorry, that's what the rules are.
No, I'm talking about, they're talking dogs!
Yeah.
Talking dogs.
What the?
Degs?
Like Degs?
Only audio really appreciates this.
It really went right over me.
Yeah, thank you.
Did it go over you too, though?
Why are they raising hands?
I just saw Solwell.
I imagine it's like, I'm constipated.
Anybody need Preparation H?
I do!
Your presidency is dead, that's true.
Really?
Cloak?
You like to cloak yourself in the stem cells of... Hold on, hold on, hold on.
You like to cloak yourself in the stem cells of... Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Really?
Oh, really?
I'm not a Christian.
smile on the division of families at the hands of federal agents.
Who said that?
Who said that?
How about 32-week abortions, Butt Gig, that you support?
How about every senator here who voted against the infant-the-baby's-born-alive act, which just guaranteed health care to babies who were already born from surviving botched abortions?
Do you think God's smiling on that?
Oh, you're saying that God has a problem with rule of law, like borders?
Do you think, by the way, do you think God, this is one thing that is remarkable to me, they act like there was no pragmatism in the Bible.
Do you think that Jesus didn't have a basic understanding of geography, Jesus of Nazareth?
Why do they mention his name?
Galilee!
When he rode into town in a donkey in the palm of his hand.
It is just riddled with geographical and topographic references.
Yes, of course.
Well, and by the way, I can't believe that he just called on the name of God to say, I can't believe that we would have children separated from their families.
That is not Christian.
By the way, drink.
Really?
Oh, Jesus.
I don't want to keep drinking here.
You have to.
And he said, my party doesn't talk about religion a lot because we believe in the separation of church and state.
Really?
Apparently you don't know what that is.
You better drink.
Oh, sorry.
I just did my mug.
Hey Pete Buttke, here's a copy of the Constitution.
Find those words for me.
Yeah, thank you very much.
It was so that we would not impose a state religion.
It's like, you guys don't know anything about history at all.
Probably more likely to roll up the Constitution and stick it on his butthole with a German.
He's gonna say something about Romans.
I'm just saying he looks like Richard Gere.
I think we have a Trump tweet here?
That's right, our president is tweeting right now.
That's the end of that race and they're gonna go back to, Donald Trump is a racist!
Of course, yes.
unlimited health care. How about taking care of American citizens first?
Exclamation and question mark. That's the end of that race and they're gonna go
back to Donald Trump is a racist! Of course yes yeah because he's pragmatic
about it. Hundred thousand people last month Isn't that the stat that came up?
He was obviously talking about the Democratic race for presidency.
I guarantee you tomorrow morning that he was talking about Mexicans.
Hey, hold on a second.
Gerald, can you move your hat from the clock?
I can't see our actual clock.
He puts his hat above the clock.
Let me put it on the camera.
How about that?
That work for you?
Shouldn't you have been assassinated by now?
The play is still going on.
Can someone get us a flintlock?
Where's an assassin when you need one?
Here's something that's remarkable to me.
You know they talked about Hillary Clinton, right?
She was, they said she lost the election and she lost the Midwest, which surprised me.
Surprised with Michigan until I realized the cozy relationship that Donald Trump had with
sort of pandering to unions, which by the way are the biggest political donors of all
time and I think he would lose those same states to Bernie.
But the reason, I think Bernie would beat Donald Trump the way Donald Trump beat Hillary
I think it's a 50-50 shot.
I'm saying if Bernie wins, that's how he wins.
I don't think Bernie wins.
I don't think Biden has that path to victory.
I think Biden loses the same states that Hillary wins.
Now here's what's interesting to me.
I think he loses more, yeah.
Because they were seen as an elitist party not looking out for the best interests of Americans.
Here's what they've done.
They've swapped the elitism that you saw with Hillary Clinton, right, and the big donor class, and basically the big democratic elites, and they've swapped that in not looking out for Americans in being an elitist party to illegal immigrants and non-contributors.
So Americans don't I really think that a guy like Bernie Sanders wins New York and California and does horribly in swing states because of his policies.
I don't think there's a lot of support for his stuff.
I think a lot of the support that he's getting is just like it was last time in the primaries and that's it.
Can I just hear what the question is?
What are they answering right now?
Is their only offense is that person to be we do have Dan Oh my god, we're still on illegal immigration?
Yes!
Yes!
If they came here illegally, they should be deported.
Why is this hard?
I don't understand this.
Heads up, we do have Dan Crenshaw.
He sent in a video for us.
Oh, we do.
That's right.
Okay.
You know what?
Okay.
Hold on a second.
Since we're going on about immigration, we're going to take a quick break.
Again, hashtag Crowder Debate.
Oh, we have trivia.
So we have some trivia right now.
Winner will be announced later on.
Winner of the costume contest, winner of trivia, and the person who sends in the most American video you can possibly record.
Right now, we're going to a break.
Is this Jim Norton?
This is.
This is Jim Norton, who sent in a video with the most American thing he could... Oh, first trivia is, what cigar did Bill Clinton famously use?
Tweet your answers at Ask Crowder.
And the winner, I guess we'll probably average it up there at the end.
You'll win something.
I don't know.
We'll take a DNA scraper full of Gerald's half-beard here today.
We'll figure.
There we go.
Jim Norton right now and a quick break with the most American thing you can think of.
We'll be back after this with Jon Stossel.
I think my favorite thing about being an American, the quality in us that I cherish the most, is how we talk about valuing free speech while at the same time joining a social mob and targeting and trying to CANCEL!
CANCEL HIM!
CANCEL HIM!
Cancel a person who says something we find objectionable.
We value free speech, but only our own.
I think that's my favorite quality as a nation is our staggering lack of self-awareness.
And despite talking a good game in the end, I did not have the balls to wear this hat.
Happy 4th of July.
From Lady Liberty standing in the harbor to the sheer majesty of the Grand Canyon.
All the way to Donald Trump's historic electoral victory.
Everywhere you turn is a reminder that this country is better than yours.
Our food tastes that much sweeter.
Our women are that much hotter.
And our teeth are that much straighter.
So please, stop by.
Come say hello.
Do a keg stand in the parking lot.
And join us as we all give a collective middle finger to England.
As a reminder that we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together.
A place that's Pure America.
A happy 4th of July to all the folks from the Louder With Crowder Mug Club.
I can't think of nothing more American than slinging lead, baby!
Here we go!
Woo!
America!
Coming up through our 4th of July break, Louder with Crowder's American History Master Class.
Featuring historian David Barton, hosted by yours truly, each day we'll dive into a new topic complete with context and one-of-a-kind historical artifacts that I'll try desperately not to break.
In-depth discussions on the history of the First Amendment, the Second Amendment, the Revolutionary War, and the history of the United States Navy.
That's a new installment each day, all week, July 1st through 5th.
Don't miss it, unless you hate America.
In which case, please do.
You're welcome.
Later.
Buy yours today at louderwithgroutershop.com!
Attention.
If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to a superior drinking vessel.
Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos-lined monochrome metal tumblers.
Inhaling in the vicinity of these carcinogenic canisters may have put you at risk.
Go to louderwithcrowder.com slash MugClub now for a girthy, hand-esh mug that, for all we know, probably cures cancer.
That's louderwithcrowder.com slash MugClub.
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Once again, that's louderwithcrowder.com slash MugClub.
Join now.
Happy Fourth of July, Louder with Prouder Mug Club.
Here's the most American thing I can think of.
Assumes his position in the White House. You have no judges.
You come as a retired police officer.
And we are back.
Thank you so much, Jim Norton and Joy Villa.
We have Brian Cowan.
And who's the Earthworm Jim creator, right?
Oh, yeah.
What's his name again?
Doug TenNapel.
Doug TenNapel.
I heard a baby crying.
Tim from HR, close the second door for now.
Treat the studio like a darkroom.
Oh my gosh.
People bringing their babies here.
It's wrong.
It's just wrong.
How does that even happen these days?
Tell you what, that's where I'm hopefully going to get to the Planned Parenthood discussion soon, and you could learn a thing or two.
Whoa.
That got really dark.
This has turned me into a person that I just don't like myself.
Maybe I do need Marianne Williamson's book.
Maybe a little bit.
Maybe it'll help.
They're giving Butt Gig a lot of air time, by the way, right now.
That's true.
All right, let's see what Butt Gig has to say.
God hates taxes, okay.
Wait, did I just see Biden's hand going up to pick his nose?
Wait, what?
China is investing so that they could soon be able to run circles around us in artificial
intelligence and this president is fixing it on the China relationship as if all that
mattered was the export balance on dishwashers.
We got a much bigger issue on our hands.
But the moment when their authoritarian model is being held up...
Look at Biden talking about his fists.
He's like, this is what I would do if it were consensual.
By the way, you know the biggest issue with China right now is them stealing our intellectual property.
That's one of the arguments we're having.
Is something wrong?
Oh, did the camera move?
Okay.
Oh, thank you, Porter Blackbeard.
It's gonna be very hard to do in slave garb.
Hey, by the way, for people, we are going to be on break.
No more live streams until August 1st, so do follow me on Instagram.
Is it louder with Crowder on Instagram?
It is, sir.
Because, yeah, Steven Crowder is taking, uh... Who's a Steven Crowder?
They're coming back after this?
Wow, we took a break and now they're having a break.
We're gonna have Jon Stossel come up in a couple of minutes.
It is, oh, by the way, the answer to the trivia.
Sorry, I have so many things to go into.
What cigar did Bill Clinton famously use?
The Grand Reserve Gurkha cigar.
Tweet your answers, add us, Crowder.
Famously.
Not allegedly.
Not allegedly.
No, it's just well known.
Famously.
Grand Reserve Gurkha.
How many times are you gonna say it?
One more time, brother.
He's a little stuck on that word.
Has anything surprised you yet?
Anything so far stood out?
Have we been watching it?
We have.
Hickenlooper's teeth.
No, honestly.
I am amazed at people who don't even consider looking presidential.
It really is remarkable to me.
These things matter.
I think the funniest thing so far is Yang is like listening and like, wait, what?
What'd you say?
You know the Dan Crenshaw?
Right.
We've got the Dan Crenshaw video.
You want to do that real quick?
Oh, do we have that right?
What is a Dan Crenshaw video?
Dan Crenshaw sent us in a video so we can go to that.
Here's a video from Dan Crenshaw.
Is this the most American thing you can think of?
No, he was supposed to be here, but Nancy Pelosi screwed it up for everyone.
That's true.
Nancy Pelosi, she ruined our night.
Oh, that's right.
She did.
I don't like her even more.
That's hard to do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure that Nancy Pelosi, like if I had to bet my bottom dollar, she smacked him around like the pharmacist in It's a Wonderful Life with butt gig.
I'm pretty sure that happened.
I'm pretty sure that Nancy Pelosi at some point put rat poison in the wrong pill and Pete Buttigieg was like, I know you didn't mean to do it!
Was it Mr. Plassie?
I know you didn't mean to do it!
And she crushed his eustachian tube.
Bam.
I just crushed my own.
I should have reenacted that!
Alright, here's a video from Dan Crenshaw really quickly.
You're not going to like it.
Hey guys, sorry I couldn't be with you.
We had late votes.
I hope you are looking forward to another Democrat debate where they can try out their crazy language skills and prove to everybody that they do not in fact speak the language they're trying to speak.
That was probably my favorite part from last night's debate.
Anyway, happy 4th of July.
It's coming up.
I want to show you the most American thing I can think of, which is beating our favorite Canadian in deadlifting.
Destroying his best deadlift.
Here it is.
Ha ha.
Wait, is he wearing white or black t-shirts?
I don't know.
By the way, you just got called out.
No, he is stronger than me in the gym.
I can't do anything with my wrist.
And he's, like, people don't realize this because the camera adds 10 pounds.
He's 4 foot 9.
If he were next to me... Daniel Crenshaw is a very good looking guy because he was actually an understudy at the CW network.
He would be positively dwarfed by Andrew Yang and Pete Buttigieg if he were to stand in the lineup.
But you should be stronger if you're bigger.
Matter of fact, that's actually how he got his job.
Dan Crenshaw, did you know this, Representative Dan Crenshaw?
He was actually picked out, he was just at the police station, was in a lineup when Pete Buttgig committed the sexual assault.
And Dan Crenshaw just happened to be there because they matched size.
But the person said, I know it can't be Dan Crenshaw, that guy's far too little.
It's Buttgig.
He's not 4'9".
That's all I'm saying.
I still love you.
That's all I'm trying to say.
He calls you out and you resort to insults.
I think we know who would win.
I know Dan Crenshaw, but he's doing the deadlift.
You know why?
Because he can't do the squat challenge because he has poor depth perception.
And we're bringing in the weights now.
There they are, right over there.
By the way, though, you got so much crap for the squatting technique, even though it was correct.
I really hope he comes back on the show because that's probably the meanest joke you can make about Dan Crenshaw.
We love you, Dan.
We love you, Dan Crenshaw.
No, I mean, he got crap for his deadlift, but lots of compliments on your ass.
That's true.
Well, he's squatting his... I believe the word was thick, with two C's.
Yeah, that's the word that's often used.
Okay, so do follow me on Instagram, they just took three commercial breaks in rapid succession.
Well, they're realizing that their show sucks.
Which, by the way, here's something else that I find funny.
Cut to break, quick!
They'll be coming back.
Yeah, can we get Jon Stossel on here?
We're going to have Jon Stossel up in a minute.
One thing that I do find funny is they have Rachel Maddow on.
Did they say Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow?
Who's doing it tonight?
She was on yesterday.
Matthews was on earlier today, right before.
Okay, but they said Maddow.
Remember when people were upset that Candy Crowley asked a biased question to Mitt Romney?
Now they're having people like Maddow.
They've just thrown off and they aren't even trying.
I think the difference there is that was during the presidential.
Yeah.
The other thing is, you know, I don't have a problem with Rachel Maddow moderating a Democrat debate, but if Sean Hannity moderated a Republican debate, Rachel Maddow would go bananas.
Yeah.
It's true.
Honestly, that'd be the better way to do it.
Have somebody from the other side ask the opposing party a pointed question instead of these softball layups that we're hearing here.
One on the right, one on the left.
And now for Chuck Todd.
Guess which one's the man.
Let's hear them.
I actually think Rachel Maddow is pretty good at her job.
I think she's sharp.
I think she expresses the leftist point of view pretty effectively.
I think she's wrong.
But I actually think that Rachel Maddow is probably the best amongst the left today.
Yeah, we can grab stuff.
I do want to hear them though for a couple of seconds.
Don't worry, the audience reaction, that would require enthusiasm.
Every person will be able to comment on everything, but the less audience reaction there is, the
more time they will all get.
Don't worry, the audience reaction, that would require enthusiasm.
Please clap, because these answers suck.
Please clap.
Even though we know that.
Buttigieg.
And we have John Stossel.
We have John Stossel.
All right.
Senior, this is actually, you know, when people ask me, they talk about our show, obviously
not tonight, this is a live debate, but they say, what has influenced your program?
If you had to describe it, what I always say is the two biggest influences, early David
Letterman and this man, John Stossel, because I used to watch the Gimme a Break segments
after TGIF, and I was a kid, I didn't know what conservatism was, and just when he would
Give me a break.
I like this guy.
I don't know what it is about him.
And then I bought his book immediately.
So one of the biggest influences of this show.
I don't know if he'll be proud of that or ashamed.
Mr. John Sosso, thank you for being here, sir.
Happy to be here.
But what's a conservative?
I'm a libertarian.
I don't know what you... I'm sorry.
We had Dave Rubin on before, and he said classical liberal and all this stuff.
So, okay, libertarian.
I apologize.
By the way, when I said David Letterman and Stossel, I meant Letterman and Hugh Downs.
I misspoke.
Are you watching this tonight, Mr. Stossel?
Off and on.
I took a relief break to walk the dog, but yeah, I've been watching.
And what has been your read on this watching thus far?
I hate them all!
That doesn't sound very libertarian.
I hate politicians.
They just pander.
They just offer people free stuff.
They're economically so ignorant.
It just makes me hate politicians even more.
Well, we can tally up the bill, right, tonight.
We have free health care for all.
We have free college for all.
And then we have lawyers for all asylum seekers.
Yeah, I could do that for one of my new five-minute videos, which is what I do now every week.
You're probably going to have some sort of installment here in the future
tallying up this bill. That seems right up your alley, just adding this up and having a receipt.
Yeah, I could do that for one of my new five-minute videos, which is what I do now every
week. But before we go into that, I would like to know, who's the guy to your left?
This is John Brodigan, one of my writers.
Wonderful man.
He is George Washington, but it's not the Washington you know.
This is President Washington, not General Washington.
And he's also drunk.
Yes.
A little bit.
Well, I'm stone-cold sober, which is not a good way to watch.
We need to play our drinking game.
Do you know how much I know about you, John Stossel?
This is gonna creep you out, okay?
I know how you keep fit, okay?
Volleyball.
I know that when you get home... Beach volleyball.
Yes, beach volleyball.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
I didn't know the rules set.
The best of the volleys.
Because it uses your stabilizing muscles.
That's how he keeps us felt.
I know that people are jealous of your metabolism because when you come home after work, you've talked about how you eat as much popcorn and chocolate as you want.
Do you still do that, by the way?
I do, but I don't eat breakfast, so I don't eat anything at the one until my upload goes down.
Yeah, that makes it okay.
I just remember reading everything.
I was a voracious reader of your books when I was a kid.
Good judgment.
Yes, yes!
Well, this is what happened after we watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and then 2020 would come on, and I remember going, oh, that's the guy who probably pisses everyone else off at the ABC halls.
Now, where can people see your five-minute videos you were talking about, Jon Stossel?
Where's the best place for people to see it?
Just Google Jon Stossel.
We make a video every week.
It's nice and concise, like the old gimme-a-break days, not the long It looks like this is some kind of homemade makeshift Raelian cult back there.
Is that the guru?
what you need to know.
But we're still working on the lighting here.
Yeah, I was gonna say, I didn't...
Opened up behind you.
It looks like this is some kind of a homemade makeshift Raelian cult back there.
Is that the guru?
Is that Marianne Williamson's guru behind you?
Is it Williamson?
This is my new assistant, Rebecca.
She's a libertarian.
We just don't know.
I'm in my apartment.
Oh, that's better.
Lighting is new to me.
Working on Skype and all that.
Yeah.
It's newfangled technology, John.
These things change.
That being said, you are light years ahead of Bernie.
Let me ask you this.
Final question, because we do have to get going pretty soon.
And by the way, we just checked.
If you Google John Stah in Google, Google immediately suggests John Stossel Illuminati.
So don't do that.
Let's give him the direct plug.
That was foreseeable.
Yeah, James O'Keefe kind of had a lead on that.
I'd worry about any searches in Google.
Who do you think is the nominee?
Or do you think it's too early to tell, Mr. Stossel?
Well, it's clearly too early to tell, and who I think is sort of irrelevant.
But the best guide is not the polls, but the bettors.
Because anybody can say, I think it's this person.
But the people who put their money where their mouths are, if you get enough of those people, and you go to the bookies and calculate the odds. It's not
perfect, but it's the most accurate predictor. And I'm just putting it up on my phone.
It's hard to see here, isn't it?
It's very hard to see.
Electionbettingodds.com. It says Biden's a 27%.
He's down 1.2% in the last hour, though I didn't think he'd done so badly.
Elizabeth Warren is up.
I guess she thought to do well last night.
It's 16% way behind.
Harris at 14% way behind.
So have you placed a bet yourself?
Say again?
Have you placed a bet yourself?
No, we Americans can't legally do it except small amounts unpredicted.
Yeah, but you're libertarian.
Since when has that stopped you?
We do try to obey the laws while we complain about them.
No, you guys pretty much just talk about pot and bitcoin.
But, uh, no, I, uh, I, uh... What is pot?
All drugs should be legal.
Once you're an adult, it should be your right to ingest Whatever the hell you want.
John Stossel in the house!
Not only that, but I remember I made the argument at a Thanksgiving table, I can't remember which book it was in, where you were the one who introduced me to this, that someone should be allowed to sell their kidney if they want to.
And I think you made the point that when you think of a kidney donor, or you think of an organ donor, the surgeon is making money, the person who's receiving the transplant is obviously benefiting from it, the only person who is not compensated in this transaction is the one who's giving up an organ.
And that made me become more libertarian.
That's true.
Well, whatever works, because another good example, lots of people die because something like a hundred thousand people are waiting for kidneys.
And we have donors who do it out of altruism, but it's not enough.
So why not give people money?
They say, oh, poor people will make bad decisions.
Well, poor people have free will, too, and if somebody wants to say, I'd rather have $70,000 than one of my kidneys, let them.
Yeah.
I don't know how that works with Medicare for All at that point.
It just seems like a free-for-all, where basically you wake up in a tub full of ice and a sore back.
All right.
We do have to get going.
We're having a lower third there.
Mr. Stossel, for people to go find your content, we want to have you back on the show soon.
I really appreciate you making the time.
Fix the stone cold sober.
Go mix it up, sir.
I'll do what I can.
I have to talk to you.
Thank you very much.
Be well.
And it looks like Harris, let's bring this up, is getting into it with Biden?
They look like they're battle ramping.
You supported Irish terrorists?!
I'm the guy that extended the Voting Rights Act for 25 years.
We got to the place where we got 98 out of 98 votes in the United States Senate doing it.
I've also argued very strongly that we in fact deal with the notion of denying people access to the ballot box.
I agree that everybody wants to...
Wait, we do that?
My time's up, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Vice President.
Yeah, your time is up because that was going nowhere.
Yeah, exactly.
My time's up, I'm sorry.
...the day you launched your campaign.
It's like someone who's doing the fight, like, hold me back, hold me back.
Ah, I can't.
Nobody holds you back.
Oh, man.
Oh, nobody's here.
I would have nailed that kid.
...Democrats are very excited by the diversity of this field, on this stage...
Diversity drink.
There it is.
Alright, hang on.
I need one of the broads, I'm out.
Bring up, back up the drinking rules there real quick there, Quarterback Garrett, if we can, for people who don't know.
Hashtag CrowderDebateStream.
A lot of words.
Alright, let's see what Bernie hits here.
We encourage diversity.
That's a good thing.
We believe in diversity.
Diversity, twice.
That's what America is about.
But in addition to diversity... Oh, three times, three times.
...in terms of having more people from the LGBTQ... LGBTQ!
Oh my god!
The GBLTQ!
This is a social justice phrase and then I, like... Oh no!
They're all gonna have alcohol poisoning.
Let's bring out a tribute.
Let's bring out a tribute.
Oh boy, here we go.
That's been the social justice phrase for the night.
Oh, baby!
What the hell, dude?
It's in my career list!
Cover your mugs!
It's so girthy!
It's just a giant white vessel.
I think we popped a light.
Alright, listen, that was a social justice warrior phrase of the night.
You hit nine of the drinking game words.
Everyone at home, send in what you're drinking.
I think, are you helping him there, Gerald, or no?
No, no, they got it, they got it.
Alright, Maximus the PA, are you ready, sir?
Not doing a thing.
Alright, and here we go, Social Justice Warrior Phrase of the Night.
Oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go Let's see, I'm going to try my best Joe Biden.
See how this works out.
Is he OK?
Yeah, but she's over the age of 18.
She is?
Oh, man.
Is he doing all right over there?
Is he OK?
Wow.
Max, Mr. P.A.
had a, by the way.
He had an experience.
Max, Mr. P.A.
had a concussion two weeks ago.
He did.
Last week from playing Juan Valdez.
He fell off the donkey.
It's dangerous being you.
Or working for you, sorry, I should say.
Abe Lincoln, you horndog.
But I suppose you have to get it somewhere, considering your wife's a horrible person.
She's a bitch, I'm just gonna say it!
Not my wife, Abe Lincoln's wife!
Who are you, Tourette's guy?
She's a bitch!
I mean, the guy had half the country against him and his wife, okay?
Played by Sally Field!
It was a tough one.
She was no peach.
Thank you.
Woah, woah.
It's getting a little closer there.
You are so getting assessed, Danny, when you get home.
I am!
Alright, I feel like in solidarity this is too Maximus to be I have to drink something here.
What the hell are you testing?
This is clearly the least dusty thing in the room!
Dust his head.
Alright, alright pumpkin, that's enough.
She has the right amount of head.
You know why you should be mad?
Oh my gosh.
Is that this is how we make a living.
Yes.
Just think, if they were talking substantive policy, we couldn't do this.
We'd actually have to listen to what they're saying.
Oh, they're talking about gerrymandering?
Yeah.
Here's the thing, I do have a problem with gerrymandering.
I really do.
Yeah, I do too.
That being said, someone is going to determine... Is that a racist term?
The line.
Someone's going to determine... Again, we're back to geography.
They don't believe that people should have to be citizens to vote effectively.
Yes.
So don't try and get all high and mighty when you talk about changing voting demographics when you don't believe that someone should have to present the same ID they would if they wanted to purchase this keg to vote for the leader of the free world.
Or to go and check out a book in the library.
Right.
Or get on an airplane, perhaps.
Come on.
I just get annoyed because a lot of people who think gerrymandering is the biggest issue only discovered it in 2010.
We haven't been politically gerrymandering states.
We have for a long time.
There are districts in New York City that I swear cut through apartment buildings.
No, it makes sense.
I get it.
If you change a district, I get it, right?
They don't like it.
But sometimes it does make sense to change a district.
The dynamics change a little bit.
So, go for it.
I don't care.
And they didn't say, the Supreme Court didn't say anything other than we're not gonna, we're not gonna rule on this.
Just send it back down.
I will say though, the reason I think, because John Stossel was talking about, maybe we can bring the volume up a little bit, the reason Joe Biden lost some points, this is kind of king of the hill, and everyone's going after him, not because he's at the top, but you know what?
It's pretty easy to attack Joe Biden.
Here's why.
Because there's a contrast between Barack Obama and Donald Trump, and everyone knows that that's a weak spot because the country was in a much worse situation with Barack Obama's president. So by proxy they
can copy-paste that onto Joe Biden. Right now he's having to defend all of
Obama's crappy policy.
Yeah, and that'll be the thing that brings him down if he gets the nomination.
One of the things. By the way, don't you love that Barack Obama didn't endorse him and he's like,
I didn't want him to! I told him specifically, I said, don't you endorse me, Barack!
And then I walked on down to Amy's Diner.
Doesn't a sitting president usually not endorse?
Huh?
I don't think Reagan and Dorsey are doing the Bush 42 point thing.
It does get a little dicey.
The West Wing addressed this, Stephen.
But he's not the sitting president, Barack Obama.
No, are you talking about now or are you talking about before?
No, I'm talking about now.
Oh, okay, gotcha, yeah, yeah.
I'm talking about now.
Now he's fine.
Barack Obama won't endorse you.
No, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Well, I think it's too early for an endorsement anyway, right?
So if he comes down to, like, the last four or five people, then I wouldn't be surprised to see it.
Well, listen, he could goose him along a little bit.
Well, he's doing fine by himself.
He doesn't need it.
So what happens if you're Obama and you endorse him and all of a sudden he loses?
Like, you gotta pick between the people you didn't endorse to endorse?
I mean, it can be a little embarrassing.
Oh, shut up.
Oh, the Koch brothers.
The Koch brothers can't stand Donald Trump.
And they can't catch a break here, either.
They're like perpetually the people calling out, like, ah, son of a gun, they mentioned this again.
Did you notice yesterday, when they asked Cory Booker to name specific companies, he said Amazon and Halliburton.
It's like, what?
Halliburton?
Halliburton pays?
How far back did you have to reach for that asshole?
Like, Halliburton.
I remember when George Bush was president, that was the category.
Halliburton!
Yeah, but what about Halliburton?
Halliburton, Dick Cheney.
I didn't know Seth Rogen was moderating this.
since 1973.
OK, abortion.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Is God writing this?
We got to hear this.
This is abortion.
Republican controlled states have passed laws to severely restrict or even ban abortion.
Which makes sense.
One of those laws could very well make it to the Supreme Court during your presidency
if you're elected president.
What is your plan if Roe is struck down in the court while you're president?
Well, my plan is somebody who believes for a start that a woman's right to control her own body
is a constitutional right.
It's a good thing.
That government and politicians should not infringe on that right.
By the way, this is something they talk about.
Let's be really clear about this.
They're trying to set up this narrative that these states are extreme.
These states are extreme because they have heartbeat bills or they have some kind of restrictions on abortion.
By the way, I think one state doesn't make exceptions for rape and incest and the other ones do.
Georgia, that's right.
It's tough to keep track of Georgia, Alabama.
What he just said is, no restrictions on abortion period.
Bernie Sanders believes in abortion up to nine months if it's inside the birth canal.
And keep in mind, every single person on the stage who had the ability to vote, voted against the Babies Born Alive Act.
Which simply would protect babies who had already survived abortions and already been born.
So while they try to portray this as though the heartbeat bill is super extreme, let's be clear here.
These people, many of whom receive all kinds of funding from pro-abortion organizations, Planned Parenthood themselves, pushed against any rollbacks to abortion just to 20 weeks.
Every single person who could vote on this, on this stage, supports abortion up until the moment of birth, and in many cases, after.
After birth, if they've survived an attempted abortion.
So let's be clear about who the extremist is here.
That's most important.
And if you're one of those people that is going down to the border for a photo shoot in an all-white outfit, crying with rage, AMC.
$1,000 watch at a parking lot.
Yeah, at a parking lot that turned out not to be the thing.
If you're upset about people having migrant children being kept in cages, quote unquote, you better be pissed off about a child being born and left on a table to die.
There is no Excusing that.
There's no consistency.
And by the way, on abortion, aren't we one of like 10 countries in the world that allow it after 20 weeks?
Yeah, we're one of the only countries.
And North Korea and China are on the list?
North Korea and China, we're one of very, very few countries who actually have abortion as far as we do.
Including, by the way, most nations in Europe end it well before most states do.
And people act as though that's some kind of crazy right-wing talking point.
That's only because of how far the left is.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, and it's this false premise that we're trying to control women's bodies.
No, we're just trying to say, don't kill babies.
Please, just don't kill babies.
I want to hear Williamson's opinion on this.
I feel like she would support, like, live dolphin birth.
Yeah.
Where you're like, give birth.
Nature knows how to help you take its course.
And like, they would have dolphins.
That was an actual thing, where they would have dolphins deliver babies.
Really?
Yeah, but then the dolphins started stealing kids.
What is this, Shape of Water?
And like... The dolphins started stealing kids.
Did they really?
Dolphins are pricks.
They were remote controlled by Biden.
No, it's an actual thing.
Dolphin bird.
Look it up.
Not you.
Definitely not you.
I mean, here's honestly, honestly, let's be real.
They just kind of gave that one to Trump.
Who do you want when that door closes?
Not you.
Definitely not you.
I mean here's the thing, honestly, let's be real.
They just kind of gave that one to Trump.
You're saying, who would you want to negotiate a deal?
Maybe the guy who wrote Art of the Deal?
The whole premise of this question is wrong.
It says, okay, if Roe gets overturned in the what?
I'm sorry, in the... Oh!
The co-equal branch of government that handles this?
The courts?
You can't do anything.
All they're gonna do, basically, is say it goes back to the states.
That's it.
They're gonna give the states full power to take care of it.
It also shows how little Bernie knows about the law.
There is no constitutional right to abortion.
It's about privacy law.
If you look at the Constitution!
Oh, climate change.
Crisis!
It's worse.
That's two.
Ten years.
No.
Oh, science fiction?
You mean like chopping off your cock and calling yourself a woman?
Right.
Is that what you mean?
You mean like Florida was supposed to be gone by now?
Where everyone looks like a Space Odyssey Spielberg alien with just a cup and no genitalia?
That kind of science fiction?
Is that what you're talking about?
Oh, no, no!
You mean the guy who doesn't believe the people who said that Florida was going to be gone and we would have record Great Lake droughts?
Record highs!
And by the way, sea level's pretty much fine in Florida.
I'm pretty sure Florida's still there, last I checked.
Oh, come on!
Here's what you should be saying.
You want to save migrants who are at the border, right?
You want to save them.
By the way, people who are basically staying at a Holiday Inn Express, OK?
It's like NASA camp, because they have to use some of that cheap plastic blanket.
I know.
I went to space camp as a kid.
It's not very comfortable.
It's like putting a microwave food top cover on you as a blanket.
They're like, this is what the space men use.
And here's some dried ice cream.
I'm like, this sucks.
I want to go home.
Point is, I understand their plight.
But she just said she wants to bring us back.
Into the Paris Accord.
The Kyoto Protocol Paris Accord.
It was the Montreal Agreement, Kyoto Protocol, and Paris Accord.
Guess what?
You'll be killing millions of people from third world countries.
Now, of course, what is that when you look at things like the carbon tax?
That's passed on.
A lot of people don't know this.
Guess who that gets passed on to?
People who disproportionately pay for energy, heating, gas.
Middle class people.
So middle class people will be hit by things like the Paris Accord more than anyone else in this country.
We're talking about the billionaire class.
But guess who's going to be hit more than American middle class?
People in third world countries who have to work an entire month just so they can have enough fuel to hopefully cook a can of beans over an ironing board, put over a barrel garbage can fire.
These people don't understand.
It would be catastrophic.
It will kill people.
And it will reduce carbon emissions.
It would cost trillions of dollars and scientists, hold on we need to go back to science because that's what she said, scientists have even come out and said this won't solve the problem even if everybody does every single thing that we've said to do.
And by the way, China?
is in no way, shape, or form going to do everything that they were told to do.
They're going to do nothing.
They're going to be like, oh, we're not all real loving.
I listen to the science guy, OK?
He knows what he's talking about.
We can't get them to raise kids paid at a Nike factory by a nickel.
And we're supposed to believe that they're going to completely stop, halt, full stop their industrial revolution?
Yeah, we'll get right on that.
Hey, I tell you what, have your Yang Gang call my Yang Gang.
They're going to start hacking to get Yang in.
That's the new story.
Hey, this is Andrew Yang.
Oh, no, habla espanol.
He's so fucking stupid.
Why is Buckingham getting so much time?
He really is.
He keeps saying local communities.
He's like the wannabe craft brew of the candidates.
Well, he's what?
He's the governor of Indiana, right?
Yeah.
There's only one major city.
The rest are just local small towns, okay?
I spent some time up there.
What are you trying to say?
I didn't want to do his viral conditions.
I'm saying Indiana is just... What?
What are you trying to say?
I'm trying to say that he doesn't have any major cities.
Indianapolis doesn't count.
Gary?
Gary is the murder capital of the world?
Really?
Per capita?
Is that one Hickenlooper or Bennett?
This is Hickenlooper.
That's Hickenlooper, okay.
Okay, let's see what he has to say.
I didn't mean 10 or 12 years and Hickenlooper didn't get the memo.
They're just preparing it.
Wind and solar!
Let's talk about wind and solar.
It doesn't work.
You can look to Germany and France as an example.
Germany tried to make all their energy come from renewal.
This is the thing.
All of us here want the earth to be cleaner. Yes. All of us think you shouldn't be throwing your crap out the window
We've got yes that being said Germany tried to move to renewables namely wind and solar guess what it didn't work
They have power brownouts and then they have power Surpluses because you can't have a battery grid that works
to store that kind of power They have to sell it a net negative price compare that to
France who's mostly what now what now what now everyone say together?
nuclear energy and they're almost entirely energy independent
By the way, nuclear energy uses 300 times less, creates 300 times less toxic waste per unit energy, right, that it created, than solar.
And by the way, radioactive isotopes have a half-life.
Yeah.
The toxic landfill that's created from solar, how do you think they get these unbelievably expensive rare materials, the mining that they do?
It doesn't work.
This is a great example here.
If they wanted to talk about safe, independent, or if they want to talk about energy independence, I think we have a Hopper here.
Hopper and his American flag.
Now I'm distracted because my dog is just adorable.
Hey buddy, I know you love the United States, but the problem is they're going to say you're a white supremacist.
Look, you don't want to watch the movie Chernobyl, the series Chernobyl on HBO and think that tells you everything that you need to know about nuclear.
Go to a country that actually does it and implements it and does it safely and does it effectively.
Read up Chernobyl is the worst after.
Read up Chernobyl, Fukushima.
Actually, you know what?
I think I have this written down because I haven't really gone to any of these sources here.
I did some prep, believe it or not.
You have, uh... I don't know where it's at in here, but it's one of those things.
But it's actually safer.
Lots and lots and lots and lots of people die.
There's a number, I think, that you're going to be able to pull up, a statistic that shows that a lot more people die from the other things.
Okay, guess what the death rate is.
Guess what the death rate is for solar, okay?
Solar and wind compared to nuclear.
Five.
Five.
Guess how many times higher it is than nuclear per kilowatt hour created.
I'm gonna go with ten.
Four thousand times higher.
Wow!
Yeah, this comes from four.
So that's a lot higher than ten.
The death rate is four thousand times higher for wind and solar than for nuclear power plants.
Most of the fallout from Chernobyl in these places, there was a possibility that some people had thyroid cancer.
But the deaths that occur, Think of the different steps in erecting these solar panels and wind turbines.
The mining needed for the materials.
The repairs.
The fact is, it doesn't work.
It's unreliable.
It's expensive.
Nuclear creates no waste, virtually.
Basically, waste can be stored for just a small amount of time.
And it creates no carbon emissions.
And there are plants that can actually recycle part of that waste and reuse it.
So they cut down big time on the waste.
And if you're worried about Chernobyl saying that thousands and thousands of people died or were affected by it, they were, but guess what?
No, no, there were not thousands of people who died.
Yes, there were.
No, there were not.
There were less than a hundred attributable to the actual explosion, but afterwards there were thousands of people that had their lives cut short.
They revised those numbers.
They didn't revise them down to a thousand.
But let me make my point.
My point is, it was Soviet-controlled Russia.
They didn't do anything right.
The problem with this is that they didn't want to look stupid.
Don't throw that to Bernie.
He's like, DON'T SOIL MY HONEYMOON!
It was a horrible, like, if it happened in France, it wouldn't be the same thing.
They would call in world experts.
It wasn't a sheet!
It was just a USSR flag with a hole in it!
It was just Bernie having some bad gas after burritos, right?
Yeah.
Jeez.
So, you can be done well.
And it can save a lot of money and save a lot of lives.
Hold on.
Williamson, say something crazy.
Oh, here we go.
Doing nothing.
Oh, yoga.
I have had a career not making the political plans, but I have had a career...
Doing nothing.
...heart-sensing the inspiration and the motivation and the excitement of people.
Thank you, Ms. Flameson.
Masses of people.
When we know...
That was a, please shut up.
...we are going to turn from...
I have had a career motivating people.
That's like if a personal trainer were running for president.
Oh, she said Green New Deal.
She said Green New Deal, sorry.
Drink.
Drink.
Have we heard from Andrew Yang since the first question?
No.
He's sitting over there a little stunned still.
Huh?
I'm just confused.
You know what?
We could cut to the concentration camp, Cam.
Oh, yeah.
You know, actually we do have that right now.
Most American thing we can think of.
Let's go live really quickly to the concentration camp.
I need to go to the United States.
I want to go back to Nicaragua.
Mommy!
You know, it almost seems as though a propeller cap would be impractical given the harsh climate that he had to traverse.
But the lollipop, it's a great addition.
It almost seems as though it shouldn't be one's first choice.
It almost would be a giveaway.
And make noise, probably.
It could almost make one more visible.
Stop it.
You and shiny things.
Oh, Swallow.
Let's listen.
African-European Swallow.
Are they closing?
Climate change and the lack of economic mobility.
and the lack of my ability to speak.
...a family bill of rights that includes a national pay leave plan,
universal pre-K, affordable daycare...
She's just saying stuff that she wants for herself.
I want my reparations, man.
Yeah.
That's true.
Which Donald Trump did.
Oh, guns.
You just don't like guns.
So passing a middle class and working families tax cut.
Which Donald Trump did.
Taka, guns.
Reparations.
Oh guns.
You just don't like guns.
I'm giving you credit for the first thing you said about tax cuts.
Senator Sanders first changed the premise that there's only one or two issues out there.
I'm not saying there's one or two.
This country faces enormous crises.
Senator Sanders.
He's not going to stop.
He's getting older and crazier.
He's like the guy who's at the Bob Evans early bird special.
You're like, you can't say that about black people right now.
You have to keep quiet.
Are you sure?
Bullcrap.
Wouldn't happen.
Wouldn't happen.
You're a joke.
The first thing I would do is make sure that we defeat Donald Trump.
of 196 nations to commit to deal with climate change.
Bullcrap.
Wouldn't happen.
I don't buy that.
Wouldn't happen.
You're a joke.
The first thing I would do is make sure that we defeat Donald Trump, period.
Well, that's your first day in office.
That's your plan, man?
That's the question!
First day in office, what would you do?
I'd kick kick in the crap out of Donald Trump.
Pete Buttigieg's like, I'd lay a big wet one on my husband.
What?
Why am I talking?
Mr. Yang, I'd pass a $1,000 freedom dividend for every American adult starting at age 18, which would speed us up on climate change, because if you get the boot off of people's throats, they'll focus on climate change.
All right, wax off, you're done.
Yang Yang.
He's out of this one now.
She's a homeless lady.
They put makeup on her and a dress.
I would pronounce it well before the election to make sure we don't re-elect the worst president
in American history.
Yeah, well, tell that to the economy, dummy.
Wait, is she deaf?
No.
Oh, she's a homeless lady.
They put makeup on her, and a dress.
I want everyone to know that you too can go from pooping in streets to being on the Bay
Stage.
What?
You're not even from San Francisco!
You know what would make it great for people to grow up?
There was one?
You know, a great country for people... if you don't kill them when they're about to be born.
That would be fantastic for children.
Alright, good.
This is perfect.
We're gonna go to a quick break.
We have some trivia before we go to the break.
By the way, send in your videos.
The most American thing you can think of.
Costume contest winners.
We'll be reading them pretty soon.
Boom!
Trivia before the break is who freed the slaves?
American trivia.
We'll be back after this short break.
Not you.
Stop it.
Louder with Crowder Mug Club.
Chael Sonnen here.
Just want to wish you all a very happy 4th of July.
And it's a great time to think about what you're proud of when it comes to being American.
And I can tell you, I am very proud that our nation is the most generous and compassionate nation in the history of the human species.
We will create things like vaccines and share them with other countries, including our enemies.
Pest resistant crops that could have caused starvation throughout many different continents.
But we're happy to share that.
Even our military power.
While we could destroy any other culture or country on the face of the earth, America Does not, has not, and will not, because we have made a moral obligation to help, and to continue to help.
And at the end, that's really who we are.
Shhh!
This is the first time I've ever seen a person die.
I'm not sure why I'm doing this.
Stop playing games with your personal protection.
Try the Walther today.
See what I did there with the stop playing games?
Walther's happy about it.
Let's all go to the merch shop.
Let's all go to the merch shop.
Let's all go to the merch shop and buy ourselves some swag.
Snazzy clothing and swag to buy at louderwithcrowdershop.com.
Like this new signature baseball team.
Or these ranger panties.
Or of course, the Holy Grail itself.
Mug Club!
Let's all go to the merch shop and buy ourselves some swag!
Happy f**k!
American culture is a product of constant...
And radical cultural appropriation.
We're a great country because all these cultures get together and they learn from each other.
They have what's called idea sex.
Yeah, and I'll tell you what that makes.
That makes for great innovations, but also super good food.
Ever eat a burrito?
You take rice from China.
That's where it started.
Or maybe India, but who cares?
Then you take You take meat, like cow, from the old world, and then you take tomatoes and peppers from the new world, you know, like South America, the Andes, wherever.
Then you take cheese, which they say started in Turkey, but don't tell the Swiss that, and don't tell the French that either!
Oh my God, I don't want to start a cheese war.
Either way, put it all together, wrap it in a flour or corn tortilla, and you got yourself a Mexican burrito.
Yummy, yummy.
So, hooray!
For delicious cultural appropriation.
I'm a food slut!
Put all your food in my mouth at the same time!
Hey, it's moving day!
Woo!
Oh, where am I?
I've taken a vacation.
I'm in the Bahamas.
Oh no!
It's Mordor!
I gotta take the ring to the... Mount Doom!
Oh no!
Oh, thank you.
Morning. I'm in a...
Hey.
Oh, thank you.
Ow. You alright?
I'm good, no.
Ow.
Keesma Z Wetlaubt and Boss, Captain Joe Rock Mesem I used Melsa Rock Mesm
Frankie!
French but im fukin goon Samek'z
...
Long, when I have plucked the rose.
Long and still, for that which longer nurseth the deceased.
In faith, I do not love thee.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
When I have plucked the rose.
For that which longer nurses the diseased.
In faith, I do not love thee.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Tis better to have love and loss, Than never to have love at all.
me shall I compare me to a summer's day?
It's better to have love and loss Than never to have love at all
Cheer up my lads, cheer up my lads It's better to have love and loss
You can't have faith, not broken, safe and small Moving from topic to topic, no one had a chance to
interrupt, it was quite hypnotic. Incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic, no one had a chance
to interrupt, it was quite hypnotic.
El Alala, Chili's Ska Naal. El Alala, Chili's Ska Naal. Chirkaal, Chirkaal.
LouderWithCrowderShop.com.
Supporting free speech since 2000 and something.
With people being banned from social media left and right, you can now purchase this de-platform-this limited edition LouderWithCrowderShop.com t-shirt.
Signifying your insubordinance to authority.
And request for them to kiss your ass and lick your b****.
LouderWithCrowderShop.com today.
Happy 4th of July, louder with Crowder Moklop.
Here's the most American thing I can think of.
Me!
I mean, come on, you're looking at a guy who immigrated from Holland to the United States with his family to live the American dream and I'm doing it.
Listen, I'm even making a video right now for one of the greatest shows in America.
Too bad I can't watch football because that's pretty American, right?
Because I'm in Holland right now.
But guess what?
I'm watching ladies soccer.
And soccer is pronounced voetbal.
I'll take it.
Happy 4th, everybody.
Godspeed and party on!
Thank you Bob Struden and Brian Callen.
By the way, let's bring up the drinking rules here really quickly so people can see.
Everyone here is three sheets to the wind.
There you go, you have to take a drink every single time.
Like we said, this is the last installment of a live stream until August 1st.
We're going to have long-form episodes, change my mind, here next week.
Follow me on Instagram, LadoTheCracker.
Listen, I'm not gonna lie, this is a It's been, it's been a night.
What else do we need to say?
Oh, join up lotofconnor.com.
If you want this content to continue, because, you know, Vox wants us gone.
And so the Young Turks, after we just crossed 4 million, they know by the time, by the time we get to September, October, we're coming for you Armenian genocide!
What else was I, was I about to mention anything else?
Oh, you know what?
Trivia.
Trivia answer.
Before we get back to debates.
Who freed the slaves?
Draymond Green and the commissioner of the NBA.
Oh, because they don't have owners anymore.
They do not have owners.
Trick question!
They have governors, much like the governor of Virginia.
Yes, but LeBron James is a business owner still.
Before we get back to Pete Buttigieg, who looks as though he just had a... What is it called?
Warheads.
A lemon sour warhead.
Too Cute Maddie has some new Mug Club join-ups.
Let's see these real quick.
Some Mug Club join-ups.
Very nice.
Oh, Fiery Red.
Thank you, Kirk.
There we go.
Oh wait, that was a cigar.
That was the answer.
Just join Mug Club.
Adolfo, gee, thank you so much.
Your mug will not get there soon because we are backordered.
Yeah, unfortunately.
We're sorry.
And what's this?
Most American.
Oh, Most American.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining Mug Club.
We appreciate it.
That's true.
That is the most American.
Thank you so much.
That's what keeps this show going.
That's the only reason we're able to do this, because if it gets removed, you can watch it in the blaze.
And what else?
We have, really quickly, we have to hit the costume contest winners.
We do.
Costume contest winners for Cultural Appropriation Month are...
Runners up.
Okay, Donald Trump.
Lesbian Donald Trump on the left.
And then Uncle Sam.
They're supporters, let's be nice.
Yes, let's be nice.
That's a very patriotic outfit.
I don't know if it's Uncle Sam or it's Apollo Creed after Dolph Lundgren killed him.
I will break him.
If he dies, he dies.
That's what I said before.
That's the greatest description of anything I've ever heard ever.
And then, okay, the winner.
We have the winner.
Winner is, look at this, Crowder Costume.
The right to bear grill my arms.
I see what he did there.
Very well played.
Alright, we're going to send you a t-shirt over there, the costume contest winner for Cultural Appropriation Month.
Alright, Biden looks pissed.
Let's see what he's pissed about.
He ran out of the pen.
Something about the NRA.
Look at that dude chillin' out behind him.
For the wife.
This is a question from our viewers.
We put some suggestions in the past.
Look at that dude chilling out behind him.
Maybe they could share some.
Here's one that came from Kathleen from C.B.
Oregon, who writes, many fear the current administration has inflicted irrevocable harm
on our governing institutions and norms, and in the process, on our reputation abroad.
The question is, what do you see as important early steps in reversing the damage done?
And we'll put this one to you, Senator.
This assumes there's been damage done.
Eliminate the First Amendment.
Add 85 justices to the Supreme Court.
Reparations.
Reparations.
At this point, Donald Trump just offered reparations to the states that voted for him.
Pretty much.
What?
Make California pay for it.
Now, is that Hickenlooper or Bennett?
It's Bennett.
Bennett.
I don't know.
Nobody knows.
Everything he said was a lie.
Everything he said was wrong.
Have you not been watching the debate?
I'm not surprised, but it's like, come on.
He doesn't believe in the rule of law?
What's amazing to me is they're picking the worst answers.
It's like Rocky Balboa.
Must have picked the wrong hat!
You know what it is?
They're confusing President Trump with Donald Trump talking out of his ass on Twitter.
Yes.
And how about Bill Clinton in the rule of law?
How about that?
By the way, people who are listening, you do have to tune in your television or another YouTube tab to the NBC debates because they will remove us if we run it full screen.
So people who are complaining like, we can't hear it, that's because we can't play it for you.
So you play a side by side.
This is a watch along.
But I do want to hear what they have to say.
...another one of these down the line.
And this is what this question is, which is, you're likely going to have to reset a relationship between America and another country or entity if you become president because... Entity.
Marianne Williamson's like, I had an encounter once.
Because the relationship we have right now is too strong.
We need to dumb it down.
...reset as president.
I'll go down the line and I'll start with Miss Williamson.
I'm on edibles!
For me the Hickenlooper or Bennett, I don't know which.
Okay, shut up now.
Yep, shut up.
Oh, God.
Pick, pick.
He's Colorado.
Okay, he said China.
Move on.
Shoot China.
We get it.
We get it.
You legalized hallucinogenic mushrooms.
Let's move, Mr. Colorado.
China.
First country I would go to, but I understand they'd be cheating and stealing in on your property, would be China
because- He's Colorado.
Okay, he said China, move on. Choo-China.
We get it. We get it. You legalized hallucinogenic mushrooms. Let's move, Mr. Colorado.
China.
He'll- Asians are succinct.
They're laughing at us on climate change!
What?
That's funny.
That's a good one.
We are.
Strength.
Because, yeah, you're gonna solve the Middle East conflict as a gay mayor of Indiana.
which of our most important allies he will have pissed off worse between now and then.
Oh, okay.
What we know is that our relationship with the entire world needs to change.
And it starts by modeling American values at home.
We are.
Strength.
I'm trying to be quick.
Because, yeah, you're going to solve the Middle East conflict as a gay mayor of Indiana.
Okay.
Okay.
Russia!
And USSR!
Why don't you enter President of the United Nations?
Oh, thank you very much, chocolate chip, I appreciate it.
Give me some of that.
Chips ahoy.
Spare no expense.
Is it the chewy ones?
No, it's the generic.
Have you not seen the legal bill we have trying to fight Vox?
We have generic Kroger cookies.
quickly are european allies in every latin american country that's willing to
have a conversation about how to deal with the refugee crisis
he doesn't have to swallow breaking up the process and making up for it going
his mouth congressman swallow
i'll do it tonight you have made your decades of experience in foreign
policy you know something is i i i i was not expecting a food
fight to break down alright
consequential foreign policy decisions of the last century.
She has the deepest voice out there.
Of course he regrets it.
It's politically unpopular now.
I was for it until I got a poll sheet.
Really?
for it until I got a poll sheet.
Generally when I send our troops into a war on terror, I like them to be combat troops.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
I understand you need some medics and some chefs, but if we were to only pull back our combat troops, we're kind of hanging some IT guys out to dry.
Yeah, a little bit.
Probably going to wind up in cages.
At that point, it's just a guy up on a telephone pole.
Hello?
Guys, where'd you go?
Wait, wait, hold on a second.
I just thought you said you wanted to pull all of our combat troops out.
How do you deal with them in Iraq?
No, no, no.
We put together 65 countries to make sure we dealt with ISIS in Iraq and other places.
That's what I would do.
Wait, wait, hold on a second.
I just thought you said you wanted to pull all of our combat troops out.
I had to do it.
How do you deal with them in Iraq?
No, no, no.
I pull our combat troops out and I would send in Air Bud.
Because there's nothing in the rule books that say Golden Retrievers can't go into combat.
That's right, baby.
I'm disturbed.
Someone just fed a hot dog on our street.
Oh my god.
Oh, everything you can, like what?
Giving them everything they want until they have a nuclear weapon?
That's it.
Letting them do whatever the hell they want?
Is that what you would do?
I will do everything I can to prevent a war with Iran which will be far worse than disastrous war.
Oh, everything you can, like what? Giving them everything they want until they have a nuclear weapon?
That's it.
Letting them do whatever the hell they want? Is that what you would do? I think that's what you would do.
We gotta make a little bit more money!
Do we have the most American thing?
The most American thing?
The most American thing winner?
We're waiting one more minute.
We are going to have to go here really quickly to the most American thing that you guys can think of.
We have a montage of all the people who submitted and entered and we appreciate it.
Here's the truth.
The reason people say, they talk about how they don't get into substantive policy discussions regarding foreign policy.
You know why?
Because they don't have anything.
Barack Obama set red lines with Iran.
They were laughed at.
And so what happens now is they say, well, hold on a second.
We believe that our image has been tarnished abroad.
And Donald Trump has said mean things.
The truth is, they haven't offered anything.
Now, I do appreciate that Bernie Sanders talked about Yemen.
But most people just said, I haven't heard that phrase until Chandler thought he was making it up to try and leave Janus.
Really?
I'm going to Yemen.
We have the most American thing.
That's a terrible phrase.
That was random.
Montage the most American thing you can think of.
Perfect.
that resembles America around here.
Trump 2020.
Perfect.
Trump 2020.
♪ Sex and the City ♪ ♪ Now it's time for new believable people ♪
♪ And we must do it ♪ ♪ If we don't control insiders, this will be over ♪
The most American thing is my California mug, my flag pins, my hat,
having the autograph of the 45th president of the United States, sleeping under an American flag.
Having the Holy Bible, the Constitution, and the Pocket Constitution.
Having a Ronald Reagan autograph, a flag wallet, the Capitol, the Supreme Court, the Statue of Liberty, and Saturn V. Having a flag to place the National Anthem.
Now that's the most American thing out there.
Well, it would be the most American thing out there if you had the right mug.
California, what is that, dawg?
I don't know, that's pretty good, come on.
To get nothing.
Come on!
Have a heart!
You mediocre nothing!
You no-talent mediocre nothing!
No, that's unbelievable.
Is that guy one of those autograph hogs from TMZ?
We've got to see if that guy's still around.
He's far too young to have procured an autograph from Ronald Reagan.
Somebody got it, you know, for him.
Yeah, you can buy that on eBay, come on.
I mean, he looks like he stole it.
Well, what he didn't say, he was actually Ronald Reagan Jr.
It was Ronald Reagan Jr.
I feel like Ronald Reagan Jr.
is the kind of guy who would go out and make a bunch of money at Comic-Con, signing Ronald Reagan.
He wouldn't lie, he just wouldn't correct people.
He just wouldn't write Jr.
Are we coming back with Rachel Maddow?
Look at this dead air that they have.
You guys can't see this.
There's like five seconds of a black screen.
They're making sure they have the audio right.
Okay.
Here we go.
This is the final stretch.
The home stretch.
Almost there, guys.
We're almost there.
Alright, let's hear this.
I don't know what it looked like before, but it looks like they had work done.
to this. We can't be a forward-looking party if we look to the past for our leadership. I don't know what it looked
like before but it looks like he had work done. Who is that man? That's Applejack!
Who's that man?
And I've suckled at the government teat ever since.
Every single day.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Student debt, that's right.
Drink.
I found a Washington that doesn't work for people.
And I've suckled at the government teat ever since.
Every single day.
I was the first in my family to go to college and have student loan debt.
So I have led this effort to elect the next generation of members of Congress.
Student debt, that's right, drink.
This is a can-do generation.
This is the generation that will end climate change.
But you just told them that they can't do anything.
This is the generation that will solve student loan debt.
This is the generation that will say enough is enough and end gun violence.
This generation demands more solutions.
By the way, you can't pay for your own health care, you can't pay for your own school, but
we're going to click China's arm and make sure that they follow our...
This should be fun.
Oh yeah?
It takes an author.
It takes a crazy... It takes a crazy bitch!
He's going to be beaten by voodoo.
She just pulled out a doll.
This is how I do it, Donald Trump.
It takes an author.
It takes a crazy, it takes a crazy bitch.
This man has reached into the psyche of the American people and he is harnessed fear of
political purposes.
He's going to be beaten by voodoo.
So Mr. President.
She just pulled out a doll.
This is the idea of Donald Trump.
She sticks a pin in it.
She literally has Joe Boo for Major League.
Right.
Hi sir, I have a feeling you know what you're doing. I'm going to harness love for you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I need love today, and so, love will win. Enjoying that?
And she's looking into the wrong camera!
This is her camera, but she's like, I am going to harness love.
Bro, I came to the United States, bro.
to rebuild their shattered lives.
Bro, I came from the United States, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Wayne!
My parents came and came searching religious freedom here.
Here.
And I think I should be your president, bro.
Aww.
Thank you.
Really?
really at risk in the United States, especially among children living in poverty like the
ones I used to work for in the Denver public schools. That's why I'm running for president.
I've had two tough races in Colorado, by bringing people together, not by making empty promises.
And I believe we need to build a broad coalition of Americans to beat Donald Trump and the
Donald Trump?
It's Bennett.
It's on the screen.
He can't see it.
Yes.
Because your plan sucks.
of American democracy and American opportunity.
This is going to be hard to do, but it's what our parents would have expected.
It's what our kids deserve.
I hope you join me in this effort.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Governor, you can move it.
I'm a small business owner who brought that same scrappy spirit to Big Colorado, one of
the most progressive states.
You're a little old now, buddy.
Sorry.
You're not really scrappy anymore.
Actually, Colorado is pretty damn purple.
Yeah.
They like their drugs, but they want to keep their guns.
Right, exactly.
We're the first state to legalize marijuana, and we transformed our justice system in the process.
We passed universal... Handle the increased crime rate for my people.
We got to near universal healthcare coverage.
What is up with your teeth, Methane?
Wait, what?
I mean, they make those teeth whiteners that you can just suck it out of the pacifier and get one.
His mouth is what you see on the packet of cigarettes.
The warning.
The warning label.
So good as the pacifier, get one.
...has actually done the big progressive things everyone else is talking about.
If we burn...
His mouth is what you see on the packet of cigarettes.
The warning.
The warning label.
Yes.
Senator Gillibrand, you have the floor for 45 seconds.
Gillibrand, you love this person, right?
Oh, God.
You know, it's almost like Consultant said, you know, I like Hillary Clinton, but she's too authentic, she's not scripted enough, and she's too likable.
Our rights are under attack like never before.
And that's the problem with Republicans who want to repeal...
They could really mature quickly.
And why went to the promises of Georgia to fight for them?
As president, I will take on the fights that no one else will.
Really?
No you didn't.
Really?
I never heard of you ever.
So that's how our modern banking system was fixed.
First of all, she was the Blue Dog Democrat.
She was probably just standing outside of Bear Stearns with a sign.
You guys are assholes!
You guys are dicks!
I'm gonna run for president and I'll show you.
Bernie Madoff is like, yeah, I'm your bro.
She was a blue dog Democrat until like New York City Democrats said, you know, you have to change your payer and everything.
And she's like, okay.
I want to thank everyone who put me on this stage tonight.
I am proof that our democracy still works.
You are getting a question for the nominee.
And that is who can beat Donald Trump in 2020?
Not you.
Disaffected Trump voters?
No.
No you can't.
defense he's a fan of a w wrestling that's really all that matters to me
vision of a trickle-up economy that is already drawing thousands of
disaffected Trump voters conservatives this affected Trump voters and
libertarians as well as Democrats and progressives I am that candidate I can
build a much broader coalition to beat Donald Trump it is not left it is not
right it is it is not left you want to give everybody a thousand dollars for
crying out loud that's we abandoned it that's as left as they said that's too
far left for us.
Okay.
All right, Kamala.
Give it to us.
We need a nominee who has the ability to prosecute the case against four more years of Donald Trump.
Prosecute.
That's her, right?
Oh, prosecute.
I thought she was talking about all the blacks she put in prison.
Oh, wow.
That's what it was.
This is about your hopes and your dreams and your fears.
25% of Garrett's family.
And what wakes you up at 3 o'clock in the morning.
In the morning.
She almost looks like she's bored.
It's called cool.
It's called jive.
That's what it is.
Yes, I speak jive.
What she's saying is, give me your money.
Oh.
As I go bump to this Tupac album.
how you will be able to pay the bill by the end of the month.
What is it?
Yes, I speak Jive.
And when I think about what our country needs, I promise you,
I will be a president who leads with a sense of dignity.
As I go bump to this Tupac album.
With honesty, speaking the truth, and giving the American family all
that they need to get through the end of the month in a way that allows them to prosper.
Giving them.
Well, hold on a second.
What are you going to give?
You're going to give your own money there?
Yeah, exactly.
You're going to give your own money there, half-haji?
I'm going to reunite America like Biggie and Tupac, who I listened to in college.
What else would you do with a letter?
I do appreciate his service.
I also had a second letter that I wrote and put in an envelope after watching Philadelphia, just in case.
it in an envelope marked just in case.
What else would you do with a letter?
Where they would know where to find it in case I didn't come back from Afghanistan.
Oh, okay, I feel bad now.
I've experienced a venial marriage that exists by the grace of a single vote on the U.S.
Supreme Court.
Yes, but, that's about it.
Make sure of the service, that's it.
I also had a second letter that I wrote and put in an envelope after watching Philadelphia
just in case.
The capital income was below $20,000 when I took office into a brighter future.
Oh my gosh.
A brighter future.
You know, we're mayor of South Bend.
I wouldn't necessarily call that light at the end of the tunnel.
I thought he was the governor of Indiana.
Good lord, he's the mayor of the city of South Bend?
There's a reason Notre Dame made their own city right next to you.
The only person he could drag on stage to make him seem qualified is Marianne Williamson
and maybe the understudy to the mayor for Stockton.
Let's respect people all over the country.
Exactly.
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie.
These are good people.
They have great ideas.
But how come nothing really changes?
How come for the last 45 years wages have been stagnant for the middle class?
How come we have the highest rate of childhood poverty?
35 million people still have student debt.
How come three people own more wealth than the bottom half of America?
We should just chug what's up in the mugs while he's up there.
I know, we can't do it again though.
That almost got my heart.
So blow up the whole country is what you're saying.
Blow it up.
That's literally just, everyone has to drink their whole mug.
Everything he just said.
Pretty much, yeah.
We'll continue to have talk and the rich will get richer and everybody else will be struggling.
Thank you, Senator.
Let the rich get richer and so do I.
But everybody's getting richer right now, Bernie.
Everyone is getting richer.
This only works if everyone is poor.
I'm going to lead this country because I think it's important we restore the soul of this nation.
This president has ripped it out.
Ripped it out like a baby born alive.
Who's my best friend?
What?
White supremacist.
Honestly, we just tossed that in as an extreme because we needed to fill out the palette.
He actually used it.
I'm empty from bourbon.
Not bourbon.
I'm empty from bourbon.
I haven't even gotten to the bourbon yet.
Well, if you have the right ideas to bring us together!
I really think they're coming to bring Stevens Bourbon.
They're really getting it in there.
We've got to unite the United States of America as much as anybody says we can.
If we do, there's not a single thing the American people can't do.
This is the United States of America.
We can do anything if we're together.
Well, if you have the right ideas to bring us together.
Yeah, but I still ain't got no college, do I Mick?
We want to thank our candidates.
That's all of them?
That's it.
Two nights of debates.
Two nights of bad ideas.
Guys?
Really, Chuck Todd?
There's women.
Two nights of bad ideas.
Guys, really, Chuck Todd?
There's women.
Rachel Maddow.
Okay, so we're going to take a break and come back with a full recap after this, but really quickly, nothing
surprised me for tonight.
If you look at the prep, everything we had was pretty much prepared.
One thing I will say, though, is, you know, when people say Republicans are the party of the rich, they say that.
But again, you have to look at the rhetoric coming out of the Republican Party, coming out of Donald Trump.
The rhetoric assumes something.
That does matter, because it tells you what they believe to be the American ideal, and it also tells you what they believe to be their voting base ideal.
It assumes, Donald Trump assumes that people believe in themselves.
It assumes that America is successful, that people understand this is the most successful nation in the world.
Right now, tonight, They couldn't even pivot.
They had to act as though the middle class is shrinking.
They had to act as though unemployment is at record high.
They had to act as though the economy isn't working.
They had to act as though we weren't safer than we were before.
They have to act as though everyone out there is downtrodden, incapable, and helpless.
Why?
Because they require that of you to be elected.
Democrats can only be elected if your life sucks.
When people's lives are going well, When the American dream, or certainly when people feel at least and believe that the American dream is alive and well, Republicans tend to win.
When they think that they need a leg up, they vote for Democrats.
Right now we have a rip-roaring economy that's the best that our generation has ever seen, and it amazed me because I thought, well, maybe we'll have to come in and sort of explain it away, right?
So we have some prep here for them trying to explain it away, you know, saying that Americans are working four jobs, which also isn't true.
So I had some of these talking points that I assumed they would use Yeah.
and address the economic prosperity that we're facing.
Instead, they just said the economy sucks. They just said, right everybody, isn't this
terrible right now?
And I think that that is going to come across as really tone-deaf with most
Americans. But let me know what you think. Comment below. I'm so grateful that it
has not been removed tonight. G. Morgan Jr., Quarter Black Garrett, thank you so much.
Smooth Manny, my wonderful friend and writer, Brodigan.
We are going to be gone until August 1st, but we're going to have Masterclass installments and Change My Minds uploading here through July.
We'll come back with a new studio, courtesy of you guys joining up at lottocreditor.com.
We so much appreciate it.
We cannot continue the show without you.
And you know what?
We love you.
We're going to take a quick break and stay with us because we're going to recap what happened tonight.
You know what?
I feel that my words, I think they might be best put into a song.
Yes.
We'll be back.
My name is Doug TenNapel and I'm the creator of Earthworm Jim.
I love God and I love my country.
♪ Dark horse be brave not groovy not ♪ My name is Doug TenNapel
and I'm the creator of Earthworm Jim.
I love God and I love my country.
And the most American thing I can think of doing is chewing Copenhagen
and backing my book, Earthworm Jim on Indiegogo.
And I'm back.
Bye.
Are you ready kids?
I can't hear you!
Who lives in a swamp right under the sea?
Who sniffs your aunt's head and won't let her flee?
Who touches your mom and gropes all the kids?
Be sure not to tell your dad what I did!
Or me!
BAYAN KREMEN!
🎵 🎵
🎵 Happy f***ing 4th fellow ladder with cratter muggers!
Folks, my favorite thing about American culture is we're the only country in the world that counts chasing the American dream as exercise, where you can go into the same building for a big gulp and a dialysis machine.
I'm RazörFist!
God f***ing speed!
🎵 Music 🎵 You know, hey, I'll...
Audio Wade?
Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
Thank you.
Bernie Sanders.
Biden and Yang.
Also Pete Buttigieg.
Who kept his main name.
Dick and Luper.
Whoever that guy is Not super familiar But I'm sure that he's a prick Wild horse shit Everything they say Wild, wild horseshit.
A pure horseshit buffet.
We cried out impeachment It drove us to drain.
you you
Michael Bennett.
No one cares what you think.
You want all our freedom.
You steal, cheat, and lie.
I still think Pete, but gay.
Has a mean case of pink eye.
Wild horse shit.
Everything you say.
Everything you say Wild, wild horseshit
Pure horseshit will flee Wild horseshit
Everything you say Wild, wild horseshit
Pure horseshit will flee You
Thank you, everybody!
Happy 4th!
Next week is Masterclass, and then we'll be back!
First livestream, August 1st!
Thanks so much!
Have a good one!
one prodigal's trunk!
one dog, one dog paw, he falls, push you!
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, boo-shoo!
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, one, one, oh, one, oh, kiss.
One, oh, kiss.
Kiss.
Boo-shoo.
Bang, bang, heaven.
Bang, bang.
Bang, bang, heaven.
Bang, bang.
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, oh, kiss.
Boo-shoo.
Boo-shoo.
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, oh, kiss.
Boo-shoo.
Boo-shoo.
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, oh, boo-shoo!
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, one, oh, kiss.
One, oh, one, oh, oh, oh, kiss.
One, oh, kiss.
Boo-shoo.
One, oh, kiss.
Boo-shoo.
Boo-shoo.
One, oh, kiss.
Boo-shoo.
♪ Is your rumbling thing on your mouth? What? When oh what? Wow gas, wow ga-ga-GAZE, museum?
Bang bang, heaven. Oracle. Bang bang, heaven. Oracle. Bang bang, heaven. Oracle. Bang bang, heaven.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
♪ All today.
I woke up. Go to bed. I woke up. Night Owl.
There he is.
Where are you?
I woke up.
Cool today.
I woke up.
Night Owl.
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