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March 29, 2019 - Louder with Crowder
01:10:35
#456 | TRUMP'S WINNINGEST WEEK EVER! | Dan Crenshaw Guests | Louder With Crowder
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Time Text
Lotter with Crowder Studios.
Protected exclusively by Walther.
and hopper.
Cable, print, and big tech.
The media lies all day.
Lie harder!
Lie faster!
How are we supposed to know what the truth is anymore?
The truth is irrelevant.
Obfuscation is key.
This is all funny news, Wong Kar!
They think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, now he's brought out the black homosexual!
Banjo!
Now I am gonna be sick!
It's the DMC's poor boy!
We're in college chaos in Spanish.
What's a college chaos?
Where are you, man?
He's singing there, I wonder.
where they're going, or who they're deplatforming.
Are they lining, or just bending?
Doesn't matter, once it's trending.
Ha-ha!
Not a shred of truth is showing.
From the investigations ongoing, are the overlords still eyeing, accusing the president of spying?
Yes!
The content they keep demonetizing for fake tech keeps on lying,
but we're certainly not trying, because through Moth Club, they are dying!
Stop!
Moth Club Moth Club
Moth Club That means that I have marks on my knuckles because we have Representative Dan Crenshaw on the service!
And all the ladies and a lot of the men in the studio have been going, that iPad show.
People love it, it works for them.
We have my half-Asian lawyer, Bill Richmond, in third chair, along with, because we had a booking error, Mahmoud Al Mahmoud, ISIS communications director.
How are you, sir?
Doing well, here again to show you the softer side of life.
I am very impressive.
You are here.
Court of Black Air, join me, Hood Pass.
What's up, bro?
G. Morgan Jr., what's the wine of the day?
Bridesmaid Red.
Bridesmaid.
That's what I thought.
You are going to be the bridesmaid.
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Yep, I still don't buy it.
28 days?
22.
Not buying it.
Question of the day.
Let me ask you this.
Was this President Trump's breakthrough week of winning?
Are you tired yet?
If so, what was your favorite...
Name your favorite win this week.
Also, Notification Squad, please let us know if you're subscribed or alerted to notifications.
How are you receiving them?
Because a lot of people say they're not getting them.
We don't know what's going on.
We need to know.
We can't play by the rules.
Representative Dan Crenshaw, we're going to get into the top wins of this week with Southern Donald Trump.
So much, so much Wittig, frankly.
How do you feel about that, Mahmood?
Well, you know, a week where you're winning is not a week where we're winning, so not that great, but that's kind of why I'm here.
Yeah, a hell of a week for us, though.
Offering different points of view, like Brian Stelter's program.
Leading the news, for those who weren't following, the FBI is now reportedly probing why charges against Jussie Smollett were dropped.
This comes from the New York Post.
There's confusion as to why charges were dropped, even though there was evidence for a conviction.
We now do in fact have the check the suspect paid the two brothers with.
Thankfully, the actor promises to answer all the questions in his upcoming tell-all,
If I Totally Did It, which seems...
And all signs, by the way, point to a highly partisan decision made by the
District Attorney's Office. It's the suspicions that were all but confirmed
after this leaked phone call.
Okay, so we now do in fact have the check the suspect paid the two brothers with.
The suspect paid by check.
Okay, got it.
And we now have the receipt for the rope the brothers bought for the noose for the staged attack.
Okay, noose.
Got it.
Now, the department believes that this, in combination with all of the other evidence, should lead to an easy conviction of Jesse Smollett.
Wait.
Jesse Smollett as an Empire?
Uh, yes.
Oh my god, I love that show!
Well, justice is blind.
Unless you're a rich, gay, black guy.
Apparently so.
And look, I don't want to pile on.
Anybody who's having a bad day like he is definitely having a bad day.
He would love to pile on, of course, yes, I know.
But he should definitely get whatever penalty comes with, what, 16 charges?
$10,000 and what, 15, 16 hours worth of community service?
I don't think that's normal.
I mean, he's got so many different things.
You know the amount of money that was spent by the city dealing with all of this is not even... I mean, we're not coming anywhere near that with what he's done so far.
And Rahm Emanuel's pissed and going after that money.
He said he's actually going to tally it all up and send him a bill.
And when Rahm Emanuel gets pissed, someone gets finger-poked in the shower.
Naked, by the way.
None of this would be happening in Chicago if Carl Winslow was still patrolling.
You know what I mean?
I do!
Yeah, I think something was wrong with the translation.
That was not a documentary film, but it's tough to know now with Amazon Prime.
They all bleed together.
In international news, New Zealand is now calling for citizens to voluntarily surrender their guns after the mosque shooting.
Of an estimated 1.2 million guns in the country, the total number surrendered thus far is 37.
Wow.
Ouch.
Amazing.
So this comes from BuzzFeed.
The Prime Minister reminds people that, quote, to make our community safer, the time to act is now in a country where there is one gun for every four people, or is seen after encouraging gun owners to surrender their weapons, one gun for every four people.
I now love New Zealand.
I really do.
I mean... They overreacted a little bit with this, but I love the New Zealanders.
Like, 37 of us are gonna come out and do it.
What did you think would happen?
Yeah, you know what we definitely didn't either was anyone defending us with a gun.
Exactly!
I think that guy should donate his gun back.
Yes, exactly.
The guy that defended him and chased him off.
We tried something like this when we overtook Raqqa.
We did this whole, you know, turn in your head thing.
Nobody does it.
Nobody does it.
Total failure.
That's true.
You should call me New Zealand.
That's what we learned.
We'll set it up.
I don't even know who the Prime Minister is, but I'm sure he's free.
Turning to religion.
She, Stephen.
She, who cares?
It's an inconsequential country.
And now they'll be pissed, and I don't care.
That's how you know.
Turning to religion.
The Pope, for some reason, really, really doesn't want anyone to kiss his ring.
Here you go.
I can't believe that's real.
When asked, the Pope said, do you have any idea where those Cardinals' mouths have been?
It's been like... ...while he's... ...in the kitchen... Which, by the way, is why when offered, refuse the syrup.
Always refuse the syrup!
In other news, Ladder of Crater obtained exclusive audio from the Pope's lav mic.
But it's so weird to me.
Like the moral superiority here of a ring pop, which is probably what he was trying to protect.
Yes!
Yes!
He had the ring pop.
It's Cherry!
I love Cherry!
What's weird to me is the people who can clearly see up ahead in the line and they try to fake him out.
They're trying to pull the Gordon Bombay triple deke.
One of the ladies, she walks up like, I'm not going to.
Yes, I am!
Oh, skunked again!
Look at him in the eyes, duck it.
Oh my god, that's awesome.
I get it, man.
I get it.
It's flu season, you know?
You can't be too certain.
No, if you manage to scale the Vatican walls, hopefully you've had your flu shot.
By the way, walls don't work.
In entertainment news, Chris Evans now says that he wouldn't play Tom Brady in a movie as long as Brady remained a Trump supporter.
This comes from a Hollywood reporter.
To quote the actor, if Brady's still on that Trump train, I might have to cut ties.
It's really tough.
Yeah, really hard for Chris Evans.
This explains recent Comic-Con leaks of Captain America, Infinity Twink.
We were wandering for a bit.
That's a little bad right there.
I'd watch it.
On the Trump train?
I mean, what does that even mean?
You can't support the sitting president?
What, more than half of the people in the country do that?
Are you now the thought police?
Like, we can't even associate?
What is it, that spiral of silence that they talked about in Nazi Germany?
That's exactly how stuff like that starts.
Don't compare it to Nazi Germany, for crying out loud.
I am going to do that because it's the same thing that happened.
It's a drama geek on steroids in a subpar Marvel film.
It's a ton of other people that won't let you even think about it.
Ask people to wear a MAGA hat out there.
I will point out that Chris Evans played the Hitman in the Iceman movie.
Oh, he did?
Yes!
So, that's kind of interesting.
The Iceman would eat pizza while dismembering people.
Sick person.
Honestly, it inspired me to get into violence.
You know, everybody has that moment.
And pizza.
Everybody has that moment.
That was mine.
Mine was David Letterman and yours was Iceman.
Yeah, Iceman.
Wasn't there another one, not with Chris Evans, but with, what's his name, the guy from NYPD Blue.
He has that really English name, but he's Latino.
He was in Sons of Anarchy.
Gemma.
That guy?
Gemma.
I don't know.
There was another one.
The Large Man.
Yeah, there was.
Gemma.
That's all I know.
If someone's going to hear this, Gemma, and they're going to know what I'm talking about.
He was in NYPD Blue.
He always had bags under his eyes.
Anyways, I think he played Iceman in another one.
Finally, there's Nancy Pelosi.
Before we get to the wins of this week, Nancy Pelosi, while pandering to AIPAC, she confused Syria with cereal.
Hezbollah seeks to set up terror networks on the border between Israel and cereal.
Yeah.
Quick to capitalize on it, of course, was Kellogg's.
Terror networks on the border between Israel and cereal.
We're coming in command.
Two scoops of bulls**t. So before the show, actually, Mahmoud was kind enough to share with us some of the most popular cereals in Syria in actuality.
I figured it would be educational, you know, differences in cultures.
So we're really appreciative and we're glad to have you here and that brings us to this week's 7 Plus 1!
You forgot Stefan in the chamber!
You always forget the one in the chamber.
If my half-Asian lawyer weren't uncomfortable in this program after the Pope bit, this is definitely... He will be!
We'll go through them.
These are the top 7 plus 1 most popular cereals in Syria.
Number 7, Fruity's Pebbled.
Yeah, that's a popular one that would seem to... We grew up on that one.
Yes, yeah.
Not necessarily healthful.
Number six, Burka brand, which almost seems as though it's redundant given the previous one.
I think, Mahmoud, how about you take a swing here.
This is number five, most popular cereal in Syria.
Choux Krispies?
Oh my gosh.
I don't remember this one.
I think you do.
I think you do.
Number four, count... Oh yes, I remember that.
What are your favorites?
You know, that one is gluten-free.
It's very difficult to commercialize.
Let's have half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond, number three.
Fruit loops being thrown off of buildings.
Yes, that's... This is the only one that's good as a lunchtime or pastime.
They can't fly, Mahmoud!
Number two, actually, total annihilation of the Jews.
It's almost as though it isn't a real serial so much as it's the expressed purpose in your charter.
Mahmoud?
There's a theme.
Yeah, there's a theme.
And the number one most popular serial in Syria right now, Rape Nuts.
Yes, and of course we always forget the one in the chamber.
Mahmoud, why don't you take us out with the plus one?
Well, this one's my favorite one growing up, was Honey Bunches of Goats.
Honey Bunches of Goats!
That has been this week's 7 Plus 1!
You forgot Stefan in the chamber!
I don't know why he feels the need to repeat it when we clearly know now.
It's been drilled in.
Who's he yelling it at anyway?
It can never be too safe.
Usually James Bond.
That's where it comes from.
I think.
I have no idea.
I just feel like it's something you've heard in a lot of films.
Yes.
But I don't know who forgets the one in the chamber.
Not anymore they don't.
I have no idea.
By the way, did you hear that Alexandria Ocasio-Nina Pinto Santa Maria Cortez, she wants to ban all semi-automatics?
Oh, bless her heart.
She just fit that in there.
She's like, high-capacity magazines and semi-automatics.
We don't have this prepped for the show.
But in her tweet, she says, designed to kill people.
Because I like my guns designed to not kill people.
I don't know.
I want them to hurt him a little bit.
When I pull the trigger, I want them to say, stop me.
Can we set the Walther to stun?
Yes, exactly.
What is this, Star Trek?
It's a lot of what they do, yeah.
She just shoehorns in all semi-automatics.
Wait, hold on a second.
That means everything but a lever action or pump shotguns and I don't know.
But you heard what she did recently, right?
She actually put her money where her mouth is and she actually asked all of the congressional police who are around her office to give up their guns.
That's smart.
I agree.
That totally didn't happen.
I thought you were telling the truth because I would expect the fake news from Mahmood because of the propaganda.
You guys should do that, though.
Last week's trivia winner, by the way, was Laura Van Pelt, who correctly answered that the chosen drinking vessel among survivors of the zombie apocalypse is, well, I guess it's the mug?
I don't know how she won.
It seems like we're getting a little loose giving away the mug clubs.
All right, so, context here.
Donald Trump, President Trump, has had an unusually good week.
Huge.
And as a group of people here who've been critics of the president, when wrong, I think it's important to praise him when he's right.
So we've actually rounded up the top four, top four or five, I think.
Again, you tell us which one you think is the most significant from this week.
So much winning.
Obviously the biggest one right here is the Mueller report.
So keep in mind here, for the past two years, two years, the left told us that Mueller was closing in on President Trump.
It was basically, right, it was inevitable.
The walls are closing in.
I think of Donald Trump as the Titanic and Robert Mueller as the iceberg.
So flowery!
Everyone in the Oval Office must go!
of him, his family, and his aides.
Everyone in the Oval Office must go!
Speaking of crazy Bobby Muller!
Comedy!
How does Chris Matthews do it?
I think of him as a Titanic and Muller as the iceberg.
I also like to think of him as a homeless man and Muller with a sandwich, only there's mold.
Did I take my pill with the tea on it today?
I drank a bucket of salt water before this program.
You really want to make sure you're going to be right if you're that flowery in your language.
If you really go that far in, make sure it's 100%.
Multiple writers, you know, they say, well, hold on a second.
Maybe we could spice up this analogy a little bit.
No!
Iceberg is the way to go.
Trust me.
It's all about icebergs nowadays, kids.
All you kids with your Twitters and your books of faces and social media, you don't know a good iceberg analogy when you see one.
It's all icebergs, Carl.
Hey, all the growing ice in Greenland, right?
Yeah, there's too much of it now.
I mean, this is a big danger now.
It's going to sink more ships.
We should get rid of it.
Right, but let's check in and see how they're doing this week.
Yeah.
When Barr released a four-page letter summarizing it, it was like the Cliff Notes, or more like, I want to jump off a cliff notes.
So let me make sure I understand this, Mr. Colbert.
You want to jump off a cliff because our president didn't collude with a foreign power to rig an election, and they wonder why we think the left hates America.
He wants to cut his wrists to Elliot Smith's needle in the hay because we found out that our president was honest.
Right, he wasn't colluding with a foreign power.
What else do you guys really want, right?
Your basic argument now is that he is guilty because we said it, I saw myself say it on the news last night, it must be real.
That's the argument.
I dreamed a dream and I want it to be true.
That's all it is.
I thought it was a bummer.
I'm sure you did.
Looking for any opening, aren't you?
Agree to disagree.
I dreamed a dream there was an iceberg!
I don't know, I don't get the Titanic iceberg thing.
Someone let that make air.
Please, if ever I'm doing something, I'm sure that this program alone, we've done things that are far lazier than that.
That being said, it still doesn't come across as off-putting.
Remember, by the way, how all of these progressive outlets, they were outraged when Rush Limbaugh said that he hoped Obama would fail?
Oh yeah.
They're saying he's un-American.
Well, we were supposed to think that he had committed treason just because he wanted Obama
to fail with a socialist agenda.
You know, like giving him sweeping legislative control over the fifth of the US economy,
record job-loan participation, you know, that kind of thing.
Exactly.
He just wanted him to fail at implementing an agenda, but now it's fine to wish that
the president was a Russian asset just because it would be a point to your political team.
And these are the same people who talk about political division all the time.
This is why I don't want to find common ground.
How do you find common ground with someone who is bummed that our president didn't collude with Putin?
Yeah, and he's not for socialism.
That's totally fine.
By the way, like a silver lining to Bernie, he's brought all the socialists kind of out of the closet.
It's actually kind of a nice thing.
Ocasio-Cortez as well.
They're out in front now.
Back in Obama's day when Limbaugh was saying socialism, it's not socialism now, it's like, yeah, he was being right.
Remember they said, they said, I think they're saying socialism because they can't say the n-word.
Remember that?
That's what they used to say?
They said it's a dog whistle for the n-word.
That's right, it was.
Yeah.
Because all of the noted socialists throughout history were black people.
And then right away when they say, yeah, well, you're racist, socialism, you're racist against Obama, well, okay, give me an example of successful socialism.
Whitest country ever, Norway.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Denmark, you prefer?
You prefer Iceland.
There are icebergs over there!
Misleading us.
It's a great country.
Win number two, Michael Avenatti.
And I just need to, hold on, just say it and let it ride.
I don't need to say anymore, but I'll explain it because, you know, I feel like you deserve more confidence.
This is the lawyer who represented Stormy Daniels, a porn star suing Donald Trump.
Julie Swetnick.
People remember Stormy Daniels, they don't remember Julie Swetnick.
She was the one who accused Kavanaugh of running quaalude rape gangs in high school.
Entrepreneur apparently.
That phrase actually made headlines.
Accused sitting Supreme Court Justice of running quaalude rape gangs.
What?
What do you mean, what?
You don't remember this?
I don't remember the headline.
We covered it live!
I don't remember the headline, I remember the story.
Maroon, you probably remember the story.
I remember it, actually, and I'm still waiting to see how it turns out.
This Avenatti thing, this one caught me off guard.
I really thought that this guy was a good guy.
Half-Asian Bill, did you know anything about Avenatti before this?
No, other than before Stormy, no.
No, not much.
I don't know if you ran in the same circles.
No, no, not often.
He runs in circles.
Not all lawyers are the same.
Well, keep in mind, this is why we want to go pre and post.
Avenatti was supposed to be Trump's worst nightmare.
And, by the way, to hear Brian Stelter, which I still don't get, hear Brian Stelter tell a serious presidential contender.
Here, remember this?
Well, you know, if anyone knows a con, I guess it would be Donald Trump.
This guy has zero credibility in the eyes of most Americans and certainly in the eyes of the world.
He's a habitual liar.
The dominoes have already started to fall.
And I truly believe that this is the Achilles heel of the president.
Looking ahead to 2020, one reason why I'm taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news.
By the way, can you be any more transparent, Stelter?
By the way, the reason that I think it would be great that you were in office is because you do my show?
Like, we all know you want an in.
Fat, ignorant, bald, and gay is no way to go through life, son.
I don't get the Stelter thing.
Who lost?
Someone at CNN had to pick between Brian Stelter And someone, there was someone else!
There was a lot of, more than the people letting him to kiss the Pope's ring, and someone said, you, Mr. Stelter!
That's got to be the worst second place ever.
I get why you guys watch and hate America when you watch our news.
Yeah, I don't know.
I see Stelter, I feel like it almost reminds me of your wrestling where you have the heel.
I feel like, you know, maybe he knows what he's doing.
Maybe a little bit.
A little bit.
He's like a Ric Flair, I guess.
Or Jesse Ventura.
Okay, so anyways, back to Avenatti.
I got so distracted by stealth.
Someone please explain to me this stealth thing.
Here's the thing.
Like I've talked about school choice.
I don't understand the case for it.
I can understand the case for Bill Maher.
I certainly understand the case for Jon Stewart.
I know you guys don't like Colbert.
I think Colbert can be very funny.
I understand Anderson Cooper, OK?
I get it.
He was great on The Mole.
I understand Don Lemon, because, you know, he seems like he could be intelligent sometimes.
He seems like he's relative.
Brian Stelter has, please, someone make a case for any redeeming quality for this man.
He makes everyone else around him look much smarter.
That's it.
He got it.
And I just read today that he's straight.
Okay, so Michael Avenatti... I just... How could we know?
Michael Avenatti, now been arrested for a $20 million extortion plot against Nike, embezzling clients' money, defrauding a bank, could spend life in prison if convicted.
That's serious.
He's from CNBC.
So, you know what?
The good news for Avenatti is that dreams do come true.
All of my sexual fantasies involve handcuffs.
Good morning.
Wow.
Good for him.
Oh my gosh.
When God closes a door.
He opens a sex dungeon.
Oh my gosh.
With handcuffs.
Now, by the way, really quickly, before you feel sorry for him, don't.
Yeah, no, I was about to say, it's hard in general for us to feel sorry for lawyers.
Sorry, half-Asian lawyer Bill.
It's alright, it's alright.
I'm asking, is anybody coming to his defense at all?
Like, it's been crickets for this guy.
No!
Stormy Daniels threw him under the bus.
They're all like, oof.
I know, but normally the left kind of comes out and tries to kind of make something happen, and no one.
Everybody just, he stepped forward and everybody's like a hundred yards behind him now.
But we'll get to this at the end of this whole segment.
It is amazing that the media is not talking about this, really.
I mean, this guy, he was a centerpiece of media for a long, long time.
Kavanaugh, you couldn't hear without Avenatti.
They were saying, oh, Donald Trump, they just assumed the Stormy Daniels thing was true.
And I'll be honest, I said at that point, it's a 50-50 shot.
That being said, even if there's a 50-50 shot that something did happen with Stormy Daniels, now no one will believe you because you're Michael Avenatti.
This is a big one.
For me, this is probably the biggest one.
You've heard us talk about it.
You can watch on the channel.
I read the whole Green New Deal in its entirety, unedited.
This was supposed to be the legislative darling of the left.
Climate change and our environmental challenges are one of the biggest existential threats to our way of life.
We have the technology to do it.
We have the moral obligation.
We have the economic imperative.
We just need the political will to get this done.
I support a Green New Deal, and I can tell you why.
Climate change is an existential threat to us, and we've got to deal with the reality of it.
Today we say to Donald Trump and the fossil fuel industry that climate change is not a hoax.
But it's a massive threat, an existential threat to our country and the entire planet.
Apparently our greatest existential threat tallies up to a whopping zero votes of support.
And she said afterwards that that was a strategy.
I don't understand.
The vote present strategy looks a heck of a lot worse than the zero yes votes.
It is remarkable to me.
And they say it's a political stunt.
This was the thing.
It's a political stunt to put it to a vote without a hearing.
So is introducing a five-page bill that takes over the entire American economy because we want, quote, a smart grid!
With no definition.
How long did it take you to read that, by the way?
Uh, 16 minutes.
People can go watch it.
Reddit Instant Tips.
16 minutes to read the whole book.
Is it monetized yet?
Oh, it's never monetized.
What do you think?
They just saw Green New Deal, and they said, oh, Crowder, Green New Deal.
This matches up with an algorithm of screw, screw, screw, screw.
Fourth win this week, President Trump's emergency declaration.
So, for people who haven't really been following the timeline, and this is kind of difficult, I think, for a lot of people.
Back in February, President Trump declared a national emergency.
We're going to get funds for the border wall.
Congress voted to reject the declaration.
Then he vetoed the rejection.
This week, President Trump's veto of their blocking was upheld, and a billion dollars is on its way to the border as we speak.
Pallets of cash, baby.
We'll talk with Congressman Crenshaw about this because some Republicans are divided on this.
I think this is an issue of national security.
He does have the authority.
What do you think, half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman?
Absolutely.
I mean, there's no question.
I've said this before.
I've got family in El Paso.
When you go to El Paso and you look right there between the border of America and Juarez, Yeah.
Mexico is a wall and no one is saying that there has to be an exact same wall across the entire border
But there needs to be security. So yeah putting a billion dollars into something as important as regulating
What can come into this country both from a physical sense or a person sense?
Yeah Been the policy strategy of every single nation that has
ever existed or that hopes to exist Or keep in existence, right?
Exactly.
And this is really two wins in one for him.
When you're a president and you pull out your first veto, that's a big deal.
That's putting everything kind of on the line, because if you lose that, you're pretty powerless after that.
So he was able to sustain the veto, and he's getting his border wall.
So this is huge.
A veto stings, but to Brian Stelter, maybe the billion dollars going to it will act as a salve Do we say, do we pronounce the L in salve?
Salve?
Salve doesn't sound right.
I don't know.
All I know is you pronounced Nike right earlier, so that was good.
Did I say it correctly?
Yeah, I think so.
Good job.
I don't know what Nike is.
You know what word I pronounce incorrectly all the time?
I know it's supposed, but I often say supposed.
It's like, sounds like I'm saying suppose, like I'm Jodie Foster.
And I know how to say it right, but I'm very stupid.
I almost put like Nike with like five E's after it just to help.
Yeah, to just read it out phonetically.
Nike.
Nike.
No, that's what the children say when they jump from the fourth-story window at the factory.
What's the ISIS policy on national immigration?
Well, I think this is where I feel like more of a Democrat, because I don't want you to have a wall, first of all.
And also, I agree in part with some of the statements made as far as the climate, the Green New Deal people.
I do think that your days are numbered.
Just ours?
Yes.
Yes.
It's a localized phenomenon, is what you're saying.
Are you going to hasten the end of America?
By the way, you guys cannot see how funny my half-Asian lure ability is.
He's positively tickled pink this whole time next to Mahmood.
Mahmood, you bring joy into everyone's life.
We're hanging out!
By the way, here's the thing, it doesn't matter where you stand, and Republicans have this debate, conservatives have had this debate about the national emergency, and I think it's a healthy debate to have.
That's a good example where we can find common ground or have a healthy debate.
Regardless of where you line up, this is definitely a win from President Trump's perspective.
But you don't have to take my word for it.
We have two national emergencies, one declared on the southern border where the president transfers and is taking away millions of dollars from other agencies to address a wall, which doesn't even solve these issues.
Why are we going to waste billions of dollars on a medieval fortress that won't work?
I urge my colleagues to vote and override the veto.
Is he not cuddly enough for the Turtles Club?
Is Mr. Peabody?
A wall is an immorality.
for the Turtles Club?
I'm more convinced than ever that the president's actions are not only unlawful, they are deeply irresponsible.
Is Mr. Peabody?
A wall is an immorality.
Oh, really?
It's not who we are as a nation.
Was that Mr. Peabody before Nancy Pelosi?
I don't think we should have a wall.
I'm not a big fan.
No, I'm not sure about it.
Was that Mr. Peabody or was that Boo Boo?
I think it's the same guy.
Oh, Yogi, my little future's on tour.
Oh, gosh.
Even as recent, people were saying that Trump's chances, they were gone for 2020.
This is what people were saying three weeks ago.
This is why you have to look at the long ball of politics.
If you look at this week, you'd have to make a very different prediction than you would have made three weeks ago.
And that's why the media, where are they right now?
Go check Huffington Post.
Go check Vox.
Go check Washington Post right now.
See if they're talking about the wall being built, completely being exonerated from the Mueller report.
And I don't, it's just, Avenatti?
They're quietly slipping away.
Green New Deal.
And you know what?
I just, I think it's time I'm exhausted!
I will tell you frankly, I'm exhausted.
I am tired from all this winning, and I'm gonna need to take a nap, and then after this, we'll have, uh, we'll have Crenshaw after a little bit of REM sleep from so much winning.
like...drapes of sugar, b****.
Usually when I'm talking to a Frenchman I'm insulting him or his mother.
There's a lot of rape that goes up in rural Wisconsin at truck stops.
Ready?
We're rolling?
Tapette.
Tapette means f*** in French.
Usually when I'm talking to a French, I'm insulting him or his mother.
You know, there's a lot of rape that goes up in rural Wisconsin at truck stops.
And Brian Spelter keeps bungholing each other!
Did you understand the implication?
No!
No!
They don't want it, but they keep bungholing and blowing!
And so you end up...CNN.
Will you join up at louderwithcrowder.comslashmugclub?
Or are you a butt muncher?
The suspense is killing me!
Hello, YouTube!
Betty Crowder here with an update.
As many of you know, this week I was quite sick.
I had to get a surgery on my tooth infection, and after the anesthesia, I started shaking and convulsing like Michael J. Fox on A Tilt-A-World.
I was at the hospital for four days, during which time I lost six pounds and chewed out my IV and catheter.
But they cleared me to go home and now I'm giving it a little of this, and a little of that, and I'm back fighting pots!
And now I can say at four months old, I am officially the most expensive puppy in the wild!
And they still don't know exactly what's wrong with me.
So as shameless as it sounds, if you want my continued medical care, and you don't want Betty Crowder to die, join at louderwithcrowder.comslashmugclub.
Why I oughta.
There's no point in wondering where your pockets are.
Tasting smooth, creamy milk.
Chocolate, ginger, you're an M&M.
It's all right.
There's no sense in wondering where your pockets are.
I just realized I went the wrong way on that, where I'm supposed to do this and lean into it
here like the Hogan.
But I leaned in this way, which I think means, you know, that I'm functionally retarded.
I think it means that there's a serious problem and I'm in trouble.
And I'm in trouble because our next guest really classes up the show.
Elegant guest.
And a lot of our fans have been asking for him to be on.
Let me just give him his intro, because a lot of people complain if we don't give them the intro, but everyone already knows who he is.
They've been all on Twitter.
See what I did there?
All right, he is a representative from Texas' second congressional district.
I wouldn't have gotten the number right otherwise.
I just know he's a representative.
But more importantly, more interestingly, a former Navy SEAL officer who earned two Bronze Star medals, Purple Heart, went to Harvard after military service, and a lot of people know, you know, he lost his right eye serving in Afghanistan due to an IED.
You can follow him on the Twitter at Rep.
Dan Crenshaw.
Representative Crenshaw, thank you for being here.
Sorry, Tycoon Crenshaw, you told me before the break.
Thanks for having me, Steven.
This is awesome to be with you.
I am very glad to have you here.
And just to get the discomfort right out of the way, and I'm going to be hypocritical, how annoying is it that everyone always asks you about your eye patch first, knowing that I just did that?
Oh, well, no one's as annoying as...
You, I guess.
Really?
And Pete Davidson threw you a few jabs, and I topped the list.
I feel horrible about myself.
No, you're great.
I'm a big fan.
I'm a big fan.
No, I don't mind.
It's part of my story, and frankly, being in politics is telling your story, because you do have to connect with people in order to Right.
Well, I appreciate how level-headed you are.
I want to get to that as it relates to Trump a little bit.
and sharing part of yourself with them is a big part of that.
So I truly expect it.
Right.
Well, I appreciate how level-headed you are.
I want to get to that as it relates to Trump a little bit.
But since we led with that, you know, Pete Davidson obviously got in trouble
for mentioning your eye patch on Saturday Night Live.
And I remember a lot of conservatives were outraged, saying he needed to be fired.
Then you appeared with him and buried the hatchet pretty quickly.
That's not typical.
And we're held to that same standard as a comedy show, where often I say, listen, I don't think you want to take everything that we say 100% seriously.
What inspired that?
Because that is counterculture to the outrage society in DC, both on the right and left.
Yeah.
And it's something we've got to fix in this country because it's out of control.
So, you know, well, of course, you know, going back in time a little bit, just so everybody understands, you know, there was there was certain elements of his joke that were like, no, they were kind of funny, but, you know, kind of offensive.
But like, you know, at first he said that I looked like a hitman and a porno.
And I was like, OK.
I'm curious of what kind of films you're watching, Pete.
Is this a genre?
I think he just went down Avenatti's client list and just searched those.
That wasn't the part that got everybody riled up.
It was the part after that.
Maybe he misspoke.
Maybe it was scripted funny.
Who knows?
But he just said, I know he lost his eye more or whatever, right?
It was dismissive.
That's what, that's what, that's what made everybody angry.
So I woke up the next day and, um, you know, to a bunch of texts from friends and, uh, you know, noting that this had happened and we kind of watched the media outrage sort of play out.
Um, there, there were a lot of, there was a lot of outrage for it and I was expected to make a comment on it and I couldn't, I can't fake outrage.
I'm not, I'm not good at that.
We have very dark senses of humor in the SEAL teams.
It's true, yeah.
So we're pretty used to having thick skin, and so I have to admit, it did not take some kind of emotional toll on me.
The frustration with it was the fact that I had to deal with it at all.
So I just kind of said what I felt, which is like, listen, try hard not to offend people, but also try hard not to be offended.
I think that's a good way to live.
Yeah.
In this world.
And, you know, just because our society at this moment tends to value and, I would say, elevate this sort of victim mentality and elevate this aggrieved victim status, it's like, oh, man, if I can just be an aggrieved victim, then I'll really be right.
Then I'll win.
That's kind of a terrible place for our culture to be.
Right.
And I want to be part of that.
And so there was no reason to demand apologies for any of this nonsense.
Right.
It's a good point, though.
It's a really good point.
Not a lot of politicians—we make that point on this show, but yeah, the seeking affliction, as you see with people out there.
And people say, well, why would anyone want to be in this—and then insert minority class of the day here?
I go, well, I don't know, because you could get off faking hate crimes, for starters.
I mean, you know, but rich Hollywood, so it's across the board at that point.
Let me ask you this.
How have you become, I mean, obviously as a freshman representative, and we use that term a lot, but so popular, despite being one of, I would say, the few balanced viewpoints out there, if people follow your social media, on President Donald Trump?
You know, a lot of people are seen as either never Trump or they're seen as MAGA hat wearing.
It doesn't matter what he does.
You praise him where he's right and, you know, you called him out.
You criticized him when he was talking about John McCain recently and criticizing him and lobbying some attacks after he had died.
How do you remain so popular?
Because there aren't many people who've seemed to figure out that equation.
Well, I mean, we haven't done a poll.
I don't know that I'm so popular.
I can tell you with our viewers and our readers.
Yeah, they love you.
Oh yeah.
I hope so.
You know, because I think people respect intellectual consistency and honesty.
They just want you to tell you why you're saying what you're saying.
They don't want to feel like it's just part of a political calculation.
And so the way to avoid it looking like it's part of a political calculation is for it not to be a political calculation and for it to actually be true.
Right.
And listen, I don't take swipes at the president just to do it, okay?
A lot of never-Trumpers just do that.
I think they do it just because it's become part of their brand, and they just can't help themselves, and they forget to defend conservatism.
So that's a real problem, because a lot of what President Trump does is conservative.
A lot of the way he governs is conservative, and it's good.
There's some things I disagree with.
It should be really simple to simply say, well, I disagree with those things.
You know, I'm not a sycophant.
I'm not just following blindly.
Yeah.
Well, you know, that segues into an interesting point.
First off, I love that Beto O'Rourke had to respond to your tweet in an interview with, uh, was it, uh, was it Chris Hayes?
I don't know.
He's actually called him out on that, which is interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris Hayes.
Uh, I was still, by the way, if anyone could explain the Brian Stelter thing to me, please let me know.
I still don't get it.
We just talked about that.
I don't understand it.
I don't get it.
Um, I love that he was forced to respond because of your social media.
But, um, let me ask you this.
You, you've, Also held a position on the border crisis.
A lot of people have talked about the constitutionality of that and the state of emergency.
You were just explaining this to me during the brief break.
What is your stance and how do you justify it as a consistent conservative?
Because it may surprise a lot of people.
Yeah, I've got a series of things I want to point out to my conservative colleagues who I think rightfully have concerns over it.
Okay, so there's a couple arguments, right?
One is that it's not an emergency.
Okay, well, the counter argument to that is, well, yes, it is an emergency and the numbers dictate that it is.
Okay, last month there was You know, 66,000 apprehensions, depending on how you measure that, almost 80,000 just last month.
Yesterday it was reported that we're going to have the highest amount of daily illegal crossings in 13 years.
The other reason it's an emergency and a humanitarian emergency at that is because our system is designed to encourage immigrants to drag children across because they know if they bring a child across, they get let go into the population.
We have a whole new generation of dreamers being created because of that.
And that constitutes a crisis, all right?
There's more family units being apprehended than ever before.
So that's a problem.
Is it an emergency?
Yes.
Is it different than it was even a year ago?
Yes, absolutely.
There is a different situation.
Okay?
So that's that part.
Then there's the constitutionality of it.
Now there's two elements of the Constitution that I believe butt up against each other
here and you pretty much have to decide which one you value more.
On this side, you have the appropriations part.
Okay?
That's one, right?
Congress is in charge of appropriating money.
You can't just change that.
Now technically, the president is reprogramming money.
He's not taking it out of the treasury like the Constitution says you can't do.
But that's just a, okay, that's a technicality.
There's the other part of it, though, which says that the President needs to faithfully execute the law.
That's Article 2.
Well, what law are we talking about?
Well, how about U.S.
Code 1325, which is— Is this how popular you are?
Is this your computer letting you know that everyone's texting you right now?
Yeah.
I wish I could make that—if I mute that, I wonder if I mute you.
That's the problem.
That's okay.
We'll deal with it because we love—because you're so cuddly.
Sorry.
And you were talking about, so yes, you were going to the President after you got into the constitutionality, Article 1, and now you're going over to the President and what kind of falls under his legitimate purview, I believe is where you're headed.
Exactly.
We want you to faithfully execute the law.
And 1325 is a law.
It says you cannot cross the border illegally.
And so, it's not being enforced right now.
It's the President's job to enforce it.
So, again, those two butt up against each other.
I value that one.
I value the one that says we have to protect our country over this other one, which is an appropriations law that was passed by Congress.
So that, coupled with the National Emergencies Act itself, which clearly puts it in writing and statute to use that act in that way, I think we've got a pretty good case.
Yeah, I would agree with you.
And that actually would be one of the few areas where people could look at executive orders and say, as it relates to national security or national emergency, that's what the role of the president is effectively.
It should be limited.
But if it deals with national security, obviously, he's called the commander in chief for a reason.
And I think it does come down to, I guess, the gray area of whether you consider the border crisis a national emergency.
I think you've made a very strong case.
And this brings me to something else here.
There are a lot of similarities between you and Go with me here, so don't take offense to it right away, because what I'm about to say is way worse than what Pete Davidson said, but I'm going to bring it all back home.
Some similarities here between Alexandria Ocasio-Nina Pinto Santa Maria Cortez in that you are both new fresh faces, social media is a huge portion of your platform, very influential, both seen as firebrands, but I think There are some differences here which really sort of draw a significant line in the sand as to how the people conservatives embrace versus the left, in that, namely, you're articulate, pragmatic, not a doomsday theorist in the same way that Nina Pinto Santa Maria Cortez is, and you openly list references, sources.
You know, when you were talking about the border crisis, you listed charts on Twitter.
I had Cortez respond to me on Twitter and just say, well, look it up.
Well, hold on a second.
Why don't you show me?
You made the claim.
Have you heard these comparisons before, and do you see it as a good thing?
Something that you embrace?
I was hoping you would just continue your list of compliments, but it can't go on forever.
Yeah, the interview can't go on that long, but when we get off air, I'll make you feel very comfortable.
I'm married, by the way.
People are going to take that the wrong way.
I mean, I'll make you feel comfortable in coming back.
I took it the wrong way.
Yeah, I took it the wrong way.
I apologize.
Hey, Ted Cruz came back.
Hey.
Four times.
No, I always take a slight amount of offense when people say that, but I do understand what people mean by it.
It's a matter of media attention.
We're both young.
We're both millennials.
We're both, I think, trying to drive a future for our party.
I'm really happy with the future that me and my colleagues talk about for our party.
I'm not so sure they have that same kind of unity over on that side.
And listen, you brought up something, which is defend what you're saying.
And unfortunately, we're getting too comfortable in this culture with this idea of kind of bold ignorance.
Right, where it's just like, if you're emotional about it, if you're genuine, if you're authentic,
then the facts don't matter.
Right?
I think she's actually said that before in an interview.
She said something along those lines.
Well, Vox and Huffington Post said that even if Cortez, I believe it was either Vox, Huffington Post, it might have been Washington Post, so I don't know exactly, but we did a piece on it not that long ago where they said, it doesn't matter if she hasn't ironed out all the details because she's morally right.
She's fundamentally morally For me, I go, well, how do you know that you're morally right?
The facts should line up with how you feel.
The facts should line up with how you're emoting.
And if they don't at all, well, chances are you're probably morally incorrect.
But they grant her, and especially the media, and I know this sounds like a tired trope, but you deal with this all the time as a conservative.
The media really does prop this up and assume the moral high ground to someone like AOC.
Yeah.
Well, they operate from a different premise.
I mean, if you're, like, for instance, if you're looking at a Green New Deal and you're operating from a premise of the entire world ending in 12 years, well then, then there's no cost is too much.
Right.
So they, so they, they, they use, they, they, they, they configure the data and their arguments in a way to, to assume that if you disagree with them, then you are morally corrupt.
That's a real problem.
It means you're not having an intellectual conversation.
And they accuse conservatives and Republicans of doing that with global terrorism.
Like, oh, you're fear-mongering.
Well, hold on a second.
I would say that there is reason for legitimate concern, and I would maybe defer to you since you've obviously served in our military.
My injury only came from crashing a Jeep on the way to an AIDS walk, so not exactly the same thing.
But global terrorism, more of a concern to me than Yeah.
I mean, one is true, one is not.
And more recently, what they did that with was simply the border, right?
There's no crisis, nothing to see here.
I mean, we heard this over and over.
of a manufactured crisis. And like, again, I can just lay out
Yeah.
Sure.
the numbers, you know, when you have 400,000 people crossing
illegally last year, these are just apprehended, by the way, Border Patrol thinks they maybe get one in three. Yeah,
that's an enormous number. I don't have to call them bad people. I
don't have to say that there, there might be terrorists among
them. And this is where our messaging gets screwed up, I think, is conservatives. Sure. Like, I don't have to call
them all criminals. Okay. I mean, technically, they're
conducting a criminal act by crossing the border illegally. But let's
just assume that they're all good people. 100%. Yeah, it's still
an unsustainable, it's an unsustainable inflow of people, right?
Because you come in here, we're putting these kids into our schools, we're using emergency rooms, there's a cost on society and it's also impossible to to integrate them into our society.
And here's the second thing that people don't talk, conservatives don't say enough,
is you're cutting in front of the line in front of legal immigrants
who deserve to be in this country, because we do want immigrants in this country.
And we can have a valid conversation about whether we should up our quota of legal immigrants,
but there really shouldn't be any discussion over whether we should have illegal immigrants
coming into the country.
Well, that sounds about like something a white male millennial would say,
but I'll let the audience make their own judgment here.
I have to ask you about a couple more things.
We do have to get going relatively soon.
You just introduced a bill that would include family leave for millennials.
You introduced it, I believe, on Wednesday.
Yeah.
Yes.
Can you explain that to people who may not understand it and where they can go to learn more about it?
Senator Rubio and Representative Anne Wagner have been working on this for quite a while now.
Senator Romney was there at the press conference as well, too, supporting this.
So really proud to be a part of this.
Basically, it's an understanding that, and I think Sometimes.
The left is not always wrong about the problems they point out and what they want.
They're just almost always wrong about the solutions they propose.
Very good point.
Okay, so pay family leave is a pretty good example of that, right?
Pay family leave.
That's not a terrible thing in and of itself.
I would love for new young parents to be able to have some kind of financial cushion if they're going to have their first baby, especially if they're in their 20s or 30s or even 40s.
You know, you're getting your start in life, all right?
Millennials understand this.
And it's important to point out the millennial generation, not because this bill is just for millennials,
but because we could probably, as millennials, we could probably make the most use of it.
So the question is, how do you pay for something like this?
Because the Democrat solution is, well, giant government program, billions and billions
and billions and billions of dollars, completely unsustainable.
The very people we're trying to help, we're going to indebt them to do it.
Well, that's a terrible solution, not very creative, and pretty much pertains to most of the solutions they propose for just about every problem that they think is a problem.
Okay, but let's assume this is a problem, because I think it is, and we're pro-family, right?
I want the family unit to thrive.
So, what this allows is it allows you to borrow from your future social security funds.
Basically, and I'll give you the simplest explanation of it.
Basically, you take three months of family leave.
Okay, now you have to back up your retirement by a similar amount of time to pay it back.
Now you have other options to pay it back too.
You can pay it back sooner if you'd like.
You can pay it back in lengthier payments if you'd like, but it doesn't change the long-term budget.
It doesn't change the long-term health of social security either.
It does change how we formulate the short-term health, but not the long-term, and that's important.
So we're basically, the way I put it, you're borrowing from someone richer than yourself,
which is you in the future, because you've actually had time to make it in this world.
So it's like Time Cop with entitlements.
It's a really good way to put it.
I'm going to use that.
Yeah, there you go.
Perfect.
And also, maybe a little bit of Demolition Man with entitlements?
I'm not entirely sure.
The whole Van Damme catalog, really.
That was an interesting movie at the time, especially Stallone.
No wait, was Demolition Man Stallone?
Yes, it was.
Oh, Snipes?
Was Snipes in Timecop?
No, Snipes was in Demolition Man.
I have no idea.
I know Time Cop was Van Damme, but for some reason I'm thinking he was also in Demolition Man.
I know Snipes.
I think Snipes was in both.
The point is, I don't want to muddy the waters on your brilliant proposal here with my stupid commentary.
We do have to get going here.
So, final thing.
One thing I love.
I have a tweet right here from you to Representative Adam Schiff where you said, That he said he had direct evidence of Trump-Russia collusion.
And this is important because he's putting a fine point on it.
He didn't say maybe there's a possibility.
He said that he had direct evidence of Trump-Russia collusion.
That means it's a lie.
And he's doubling down still with those comments that he's made before.
This is important for people to maintain a timeline.
And this is why, like you said, intellectual consistency is important, because we need to hold people to the same standard that they would hold out.
And if you say, listen, we need to investigate someone for collusion, not for collusion, for Russia, Russian collusion, collusion could be a country, could be a city in a country, I have no idea.
Then we need to say, okay, by that same standard, if you've claimed that you have evidence, we might need to investigate you.
So this is a springboard to say, what would you say is President Trump's biggest win of the week?
Would it be the Mueller Report?
Would it be Avenatti?
If you had to list them and rank them.
Man, it's been a pretty good week for the president.
I think he's just kicking his feet up right now.
And well-deserved.
Because it really did all come down to one moment where the Mueller Report found that there was no collusion.
Avenatti got arrested.
Which is still a little disappointing for some of us who would have liked to see him jump into the presidential primary, along with every other Democrat, but he's not going to be part of that.
Too bad.
Just to watch all that take place.
Happy for the President.
I think it's a good win.
His veto was not overridden either.
We should be seeing some money come into wall funding, which I think we need, and I think we're going to send it to the right places.
I think just west of El Paso is the last I heard on that.
And I don't think that'll hurt our military readiness either, based on where I'm seeing that money coming from, or disaster preparedness.
So these are all good things.
The President's making good on his promises to actually secure our country.
We have all found out that he indeed did not collude with Russia.
I never really thought he did, but it looks like we now have a lengthy investigation that shows that he did not.
And Democrats really need to accept that.
The one thing I want to say about Adam Schiff is, Yes.
he uses position on the intelligence committee to make everybody believe that
he had access to information that he really did yes that's
that that is straight that's beyond the science is one thing to just kind of say
it is politicians always do but he really you really uh...
he he abused his position and then that's really problem Yeah, and you know, sometimes President Trump can come across a little nutty, but I think that anyone would lose their marbles a little bit when people are out there claiming that you've done something that you haven't done.
I think anyone would go a little bit nuts in the public eye, where they're going, hold on a second, you're trying to obstruct justice.
What?
Obstruct what?
There's no crime!
And then afterwards, like, well there's no crime, but maybe obstruction?
We don't know!
And he's going, Schiff!
Schiff!
Schiff!
That's how I feel.
But I will say this.
We have to get going and I am tired and you must be exhausted from all the witting.
It's so much.
I think people are getting tired.
People can follow you at RepDanCrenshaw.
Is there anywhere else that you would like to plug?
Real quick.
Yeah, well, at Rep Dan Crenshaw, I got another Twitter account, at DanCrenshawTX.
We use them both.
They're both great follows.
Please follow both Instagram, DanCrenshawTX, and just search for Dan Crenshaw on Congress and on Facebook.
Crenshaw, thank you so much for being here, sir.
I appreciate it.
We must go.
We're going to wrap this up in a nice ribbon.
Grimmin will be back after this!
I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the end of the video, but I'll try my best!
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Steven?
Yeah, I'm good.
You know, I like you.
I like you.
I see you do these reads.
You're doing it all wrong.
Okay?
I'll help you.
I'm not entirely comfortable with that.
I can do it.
I can do it.
I have media training.
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You can't please everyone!
Stephen.
Alright.
If you've never seen a blobfish, they're disgusting.
Oh, yeah.
The blobfish.
There's no reason for that.
You know, I didn't really feel like doing the drowning dance.
I didn't have that much energy, because Dan Crenshaw really took it out of me.
Representative Dan Crenshaw.
He just looks too badass all the time.
Hey, I need to issue an apology really quickly before I get to the closing segment here.
Johnny Depp, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Johnny.
I have given Johnny Depp a rough time, because I do think he's kind of douchey.
A little bit, yeah.
When he was accused of beating Amber, is Amber Heard?
Amber Heard.
Amber Heard up a little bit.
I think we had a bit about that at that point.
It wasn't really, we weren't really condemning him, but his drunken tirade where he threw the, turns out she kicked his ass.
Yes.
So I hope that guy just, I hope you take her for everything she's worth.
So really you're probably taking yourself for everything you're worth because probably a joint checking account in that household, let's be honest.
So, this week, and you can bring it up there, Garrett, for those who didn't follow earlier, I was subject to my first auto accident.
As a passenger, I should say.
When I was a kid, I was hit by a car once.
Oh, yeah, I know that story.
Yeah, look, the whole dashboard just exploded.
Airbags.
Those were not friendly airbags, by the way.
On the highway?
Yeah, it was a tire blew on an older Jeep.
We're exiting on a loop from one freeway to another.
It's hard for me to explain, but basically, here's a freeway.
You need to get on this freeway, okay?
And there's a loop.
And the loop comes around to get on this freeway.
And then there are only two lanes.
Where you're one, and basically these two lanes, one lane is trying to get over on this other freeway.
The freeway that goes east west.
And the other one, people are trying to get over on another loop that goes downward going north south.
And I've had to do this exit many times.
I've always thought it was incredibly dangerous.
So, when the tire blew while we were taking it, I panicked.
Looking at it now, it doesn't look so bad, thank God.
And it really was not as bad as it could have been.
We're fortunate that actually, ironically, the complete spin-out of the car, which could potentially increase the force of the impact, we went around taking the concrete girder, I think caused it to scrape a little bit.
Which cradled... Saved you a little bit.
...the crash.
I mean, the frame is totaled.
I heard concrete.
I was like, aw.
Oh yeah, the frame is completely... Well, it's a Jeep with a metal bumper, and the bumper's completely broken, the steel frame completely cracked, bent.
So, it breaks my heart, because Johnny Boy, who's driving, loves that Jeep.
But it could have been a lot worse.
Thank God he's fine.
He'll get another Jeep.
So I say this to explain to you what happened and to let you know that I understand
that this isn't exactly a scrape with death as many car accidents could be.
But at the time, I didn't know that.
So at that moment in time, feeling the tire blow out in one of the most difficult loops in Texas,
all I knew was just pop, spin, screech.
And with each spin, I can just see two lanes behind us, the two lanes, one of which is going very, very fast
and the other people are coming in on a blind loop and then spin, spin, spin, spin, concrete girder,
spin, spin, spin, car is going by.
And it felt like they were getting faster.
And then the concrete girder was getting faster I thought it might be, really, I thought it might be curtains.
In retrospect, no.
But it's kind of like that kayak story that I've told you about before, I think, where I was sure that death was just, like, my parents were going to be on shore and just I couldn't turn a kayak over.
It was one of those old, you know, like the sealskin kayaks.
I've heard that before.
Not these open kayaks like today.
Kayaks are questionnaire.
Yes!
Especially when you have no idea.
I was just at a cottage.
I'm like, yeah, I'm going to go out.
I thought I was going to die.
That doesn't sound like a smart design.
Let's stick you inside of a kayak and you can't get out.
Well, they needed to be watertight back in the day.
Yeah, that's what they did.
I bring that up because obviously I didn't die in a kayak, obviously we didn't die in this car crash, but at that moment I thought this might be it, this is how it ends.
I wouldn't say that my life flashed before my eyes, but let me explain it.
In this short moment, a million different thoughts were going through my head.
After it happened, I was like, how did I think of all these things at that second?
was obviously, my God, just please straighten out.
And then I thought, this exit is the worst, and I remember thinking this, I was like, damn it, this exit is the worst city engineering in history.
And then I thought, I'm never traveling in an old Jeep with crappy felt seats again.
And then I thought, oh, okay, we're definitely spinning out.
And then I thought, God, just please let us crash some more, not into these two lanes.
And I thought, oh my God, we're gonna crash.
And now I just really hope that another car doesn't come and hit us.
And then it hit me, okay, I could die right here.
I remember that thought going through my head, this could happen, just.
And the odd thing is, I was oddly accepting of it.
And sometimes in those moments, it's kind of a silly but perfect example of ego.
You try to almost strike a bargain with God.
And I remember thinking, you know what?
In this moment, I remember thinking, death would be okay, I just don't want to get hurt.
So let me die, that's fine, but just don't let me be crippled or maimed or pried out with the jaws of life on a nightly news in a quadrant view.
And then there was the moment when the airbags went off.
Again, these are mid-90s airbags.
They were certainly not soft.
It wasn't like being cradled in your love's bosoms at all.
These were decidedly unfriendly, aggressive airbags.
They went off.
Causing my head to what I can only imagine was like getting paddled back and forth between the unsupportive bucket seats like a pinball.
And I couldn't hear anything.
Everything went completely white.
Things slowly kind of came back into view and sounds warped back in.
Smoke was coming out of the dash.
I think it was the airbag gas.
I don't know.
I've never had airbags deployed before.
Certainly not in a... I don't know.
It's a 90s model Jeep, I think.
It was total sensory deprivation.
And I couldn't really move when I came to.
And there was a moment there where I thought, oh, crap.
I'm still here, but I can't move.
Cars are coming.
They're going to hit us.
And then I thought, oh, crap.
I'm still here.
I don't know how bad this is going to be.
And I can't move.
And we're being upset about it.
And thinking about it now, it's pretty disgusting.
I'm pretty disgusted that I thought that.
And sometimes there are aspects of yourself that you can't really fully understand until you're put in that kind of a scenario.
Isn't that the way it often goes in life?
Many times we'll do anything just to avoid the pain.
Sometimes we'd rather take the loss, the finality of defeat.
Or in this case, I'll take death instead of being in a wheelchair.
It sounds silly, but I remember thinking that.
We'll take that finality rather than the pain of the struggle.
And I think I know why, at least in my case, in trying to deconstruct some of this, because afterward there was a lot of...
It's a cornucopia of adrenaline-induced, visceral, emotive reactions.
And many of you watching the show know that I'm not a big fan of cliches.
Not the Oprah-friendly soundbites, but usually because they're often untrue.
And in this case, one that comes to mind we hear a lot is, people aren't afraid of being powerless, they're more afraid of being more powerful than they can possibly imagine.
Something along those lines.
Neither one of those things is true.
No one wants to be powerless.
And I can attest to, in that moment in time, sort of, I was trying to control aspects of the uncontrollable, But I think the reason that many of us will find the out, look for it, take the defeat over the pain of the struggle is because we all find comfort in the idea that our limitations, our burdens, or even our ultimate defeats are completely out of our control.
Right?
If I die, I die.
It's just my time.
That's out of my hands.
But if I don't, the ball's back in my court.
If I don't die, this might hurt a lot.
I might have to go through a really tough climb just to get back to capable.
And it's an even harder pill to swallow that sometimes we feel the setback is out of our control, but the recovery is on us.
And that's a lot to take.
That's hard.
And that's life.
And you know what?
That never changes.
Let me give you another example from this crash that'll hopefully explain it.
Again, to explain a lot of the crap to unpack that I'm not proud of as it relates to ego.
Right after the accident, my friend Johnny Boy, who was driving, was shaking.
Okay, my vitals were fine.
His blood pressure was through the roof.
I could tell he was out of it in the past.
I hope he doesn't mind me sharing this.
I asked him before.
I know that he has had absent seizures when he was young, so I was very worried about him because he was shaking.
So our wives, Tim and Manny, who work with us, they're fantastic.
They came and got us off the freeway, went to a nearby McDonald's.
Right away I said, Johnny has to go home.
Send him home.
And I remember telling my wife and the team that I was pretty much fine and I just needed a moment to gather my bearings.
It was a lie.
I lied.
I did not feel fine.
And I said to them that I thought I could still go down to the AIDS walk and do the whole day of filming.
I said I just needed a minute.
It reminds me of that scene in, if you ever saw the film Regarding Henry, did you ever see Regarding Henry?
Yeah.
It's where Harrison Ford gets shot.
And I think it's the most accurate depiction of the kind of shock in that scenario ever put on screen.
Maybe along with Captain Phillips, that was really good too.
But Harrison Ford is at a convenience store getting a pack of smokes and a guy holding up the store, he just demands his wallet and he shoots him.
And Harrison Ford, he doesn't spin over like in a Spaghetti Western, or he doesn't scream in pain, he just holds up his hand and he, you know, Harrison Ford, he's, now wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, he's just holding, hold on, hold on a minute, and he falls over in shock.
And he's bleeding, he was shot.
And it's almost more impactful when you watch this because you think that's probably how someone might react.
That's how I felt at the McDonald's at that point.
I was saying, I'm fine, I just need to take a second.
But the adrenaline dump stopped, and I'm pretty sure the airbag boxed my right ear because I couldn't hear.
All day, it was ringing.
Just a high-pitched ringing, like in Saving Private Ryan.
I couldn't hear out of my right ear for the rest of the day.
And that was my equivalent to saying, well, hold on a minute.
I was sore.
I was tired.
I couldn't hear.
I didn't feel fine.
You know why I lied?
Because of ego.
I was thinking of the people depending on me, the people that we employ here, the idea that this story would circulate and that they would maybe say, oh man, you know, Steven was such a trooper, he went on down, he finished the segment anyway, and so I lied.
And I said it was fine.
But I remember when I was saying it, I was looking to my wife, and I think we've all done this at some point, I was looking to my wife with the eyes saying, I'm not fine, I'm not fine, step in here, call it, don't let me go, because I wanted to prove that I could do it.
But if my wife said, no, you're going home, well, guys, that's out of my hands.
See, the point here is, I realized that I wanted my limitations to be set by someone else.
I wanted my defeat, or what I perceived as my defeat, to be out of my control.
Because otherwise, people would see me as a quitter.
The truth is, in not being honest, in lying to myself and my team about what I could or couldn't control, that was more of quitting.
What would have been less of a quitter's mentality would have been to say, guys, I can't hear you.
My neck hurts.
I'm tired.
I'm going home.
We'll live to fight another day.
Because that would have been taking ownership of the situation myself.
But instead, I just wanted to say, no, no, no, I can do it.
I can do this.
And I was looking for anyone else, anyone else to take the out for me.
And that's the mentality of wanting to absolve myself of the responsibility of accepting and recognizing my own limitations.
And I was doing it all over again.
Just like the crash, the bargain with God.
Hey, if I die, that's fine.
That's on you.
Just please don't let me live and be a vegetable because that's on me and that's gonna suck and it'll be embarrassing.
In this scenario, I was saying, hey, if my wife calls it, if one of you calls it, that's on you.
There's nothing I can do.
If you don't, it's on me and I'm gonna have to grit my teeth and bear it.
It being on me is hard because that means now I've got a decision to make.
A decision to recognize my limitations and chart a realistic course of action to recognize what I could not do.
Now here's the thing.
Manny and Tim, they decided to call it.
They said, no, you're going home because they're good people.
And I'll tell you, I felt relief.
But that doesn't change that I was lying to myself.
They didn't decide for me.
I let them decide for me because through ego I basically abandon my post.
So my challenge to you is this.
Think of how often you do this.
Particularly the young men out there.
How often do you look for a reason to lie to yourself?
To present this facade of things being out of your control?
Just to avoid admitting your weaknesses?
Have you done it?
I guarantee you have.
I guarantee you'll do it this week.
Could be as severe as what I went through.
Or much more severe than what I went through.
Or it could be as simple as, oh, you know, I was late.
Traffic on the freeway.
It's out of my hands.
There's nothing I can do.
Is it?
Do you often find yourself running late?
Are you really Superman?
Do you make promises you can't keep?
Why?
And what I want you to do is rather than wait until a crisis occurs so you can throw up your hands and chalk it up to being out of your control, I want you to take inventory right now.
What are your limitations?
What are your weaknesses?
Your quiet time.
Take a minute.
Take inventory.
Because guess what?
It's okay.
It's okay to have limitations.
It's okay to have weaknesses.
It's okay to be honest about them.
This is where we get it wrong.
It's not okay to celebrate them.
We don't need to celebrate our weaknesses.
But it's good to work on them.
And there are many things in life that we can't control.
But I think we all want to bear a little less responsibility than we probably should sometimes.
Here's something you can control.
You can control right now recognizing your weaknesses, recognizing your limitations, and accepting the incremental improvements that you can make to correct them.
But you can never know what that is.
This is something, too.
We've talked about this a lot with knowing what the hard door is, knowing what the easy out is, and recognizing you can never know, you will never know what your potential is, what you're capable of truly accomplishing if you're lying to yourself because of ego.
The guy who claims he can do it all and can't, okay, is of far less value than the man who can look you in the eye and say, you know what?
I know that I can do this because I know that I can't do that.
So I can tell you about any shadow of a doubt, Because I know I can't do that, I know I can do this.
That's what the world needs more of.
That's a real man.
And we get it wrong a lot.
Take that experiment with you this week.
See how it turns out.
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