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Aug. 10, 2018 - Louder with Crowder

01:11:55

#372 A VERY NOTGAYJARED FAREWELL! Ben Shapiro and Jim Norton | Louder With Crowder

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	Okay, North Black. I've reached the U2 mainframe.
	Okay, Steve. After banning Info Wars, U2's restriction and monetization policy is in force.
	Now be careful.
	Thanks for watching.
	Okay.
	The video's uploading.
	What do I do?
	They keep changing the process to lock you out.
	So listen very carefully.
	Once the video's done processing, It'll offer you the chance to monetize.
	Okay.
	I see it.
	Now, carefully, click the monetize in all countries box.
	Including the Northwest Territories?
	Yes.
	Seems redundant, but... okay.
	Damn it, the video's already been demonetized.
	Just stay calm.
	That's why we have people hit the notification bell.
	Now, what I need you to do is go to the video in your channel dashboard and request a manual review.
	Okay.
	It's asking if I want to confirm a manual review or not.
	Press it.
	It's already been manually rejected.
	There's no way they can review it that fast.
	And it's been put in restricted mode.
	What?
	And the channel's been temporarily suspended.
	That doesn't make sense.
	On what ground?
	Never seen anything like this.
	YouTube's not enough to survive anymore.
	We need something more.
	This is a story of a young man who was born in a village in the middle of nowhere.
	He was a boy who was born to a woman.
	For more information, visit www.FEMA.gov You're a strange animal, that's what I know
	You're a strange animal, I come to follow On your speedy dis-
	Very glad I did that.
	I don't know, is this, is this the, uh, are these the maracas they do this way?
	Or is it the little clams where they dig the spoon?
	It is the spoon thing, isn't it?
	Yes.
	It is!
	Through these pipes.
	Chiquita banana.
	I've had enough, I've had enough of those pipes!
	Uh, wait, that's right, yeah, don't, thank you, Nakai Jared, for switching to... I forgot, people would think hoppers are...
	Hot pressure needs another eye surgery out there.
	What?
	Yeah, it's been a tough week.
	He has to go and we've been putting this hot compress and then cold compress on the eye, which seems a little counterintuitive.
	So we have a great show.
	We have Ben Shapiro on the show.
	We have Jim Norton on the show.
	We have in third chair today, Brautigan and my half-Asian lawyer, Bill Richman.
	How are you, gentlemen?
	Wonderful.
	Look at you, you look very good.
	A lot of people were like the Hodge twins, and apparently Brodigan's also afraid of dogs.
	Question of the day!
	What's your thought here on the sudden banning of InfoWars?
	I think almost every social media platform I know, even Spotify's not really social media.
	We're going to be talking with Ben Shapiro about this.
	You think it was justified?
	Listen, I understand InfoWars, that people have certain opinions, but the slippery slope argument is a valid argument when they just claim hate speech.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	And it's really concerning.
	So comment below.
	I want to hear from you.
	Producing with me in studio for the last time, we'll talk about this later on, is NotGayJared.
	You can follow him at NotGayJared.
	And NotGayJared, yeah, you can tease.
	Yeah, I have some news I'll be sharing.
	There you go.
	There you go.
	It's not so much of a tease.
	Oh my gosh!
	It's like, Hint!
	Bruce Willis is a ghost!
	Suddenly gets chicks.
	He just leans back.
	So we're going to have a very nice send off for Jared later and kind of take you down a trip down memory lane.
	But yeah, Not Gay Dad is a big, big part of it.
	It's true.
	And we're going to be passing the torch on to some other people who are going to be helping fill your, what is it, size four shoes?
	I don't know.
	I have no idea.
	Five.
	Five.
	Don't be insulting.
	No, we bind feet for you!
	He rounds up.
	Gerald, what's the wine of the day?
	Wine of the day is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.
	I love that sitcom in the 90s.
	It was good use of puppetry.
	There was a sitcom called that?
	Yeah.
	Alph.
	Puppetry?
	Alph, he'd be like, well, out on my planet, we don't eat shrimp!
	Haha, laugh track!
	So, lead story, before we get to that, and we're going to talk about Alexandria something something Cortez, the latest in the line of Bernie Sanders socialists.
	But first, in the news, Nancy Pelosi has said that if you vote for Democrats, it will give, quote, leverage, she actually said this, to illegal aliens, in her words.
	We believe that we will have leverage when we win in November.
	And why is that important?
	Because it gives leverage to every family, to every mom who courageously brought her across the desert to escape death, rape, gang violence and
	the rest.
	You have a way with words, evil bitch.
	By the way, her speech was met with resounding applause by the National Association of Latin
	So yeah, they were really big.
	They were happy.
	It's one of those things where she's like, she's speaking my language.
	She mean what he's saying?
	It's exactly one of those situations where she, what she said, it's like everyone else is saying the same thing, but with a totally different tone.
	It's like, it'll give leverage to illegal immigrants.
	That's bad, right?
	No, no, that's, that's very good.
	She says it in a good way.
	He's like, there's been no one in government before who's represent what I think.
	If you vote for Republican, The terrorists will not feel emboldened.
	Yes, exactly!
	And next time she does this, she's gonna show up with a full face tat, just so she can identify.
	Do you remember that brought again in Bill, when Osama Bin Laden endorsed John Kerry?
	Yeah.
	If you vote for George Bush, I'll be really mad, you guys!
	I'm just happy that they're not pretending anymore, because usually when you say, like, well, you just want the illegal voters, it's like, oh, you're being a xenophobe and a racist and five other isms and two issues.
	Look, Nancy Pelosi, the greatest Democrat leader who has ever lived, for people who do what we do for a living, she even just says so.
	I feel like there's a moderator like, oh, you just want to get an illegal vote!
	And the moderator's like, Nancy, your response?
	Jayce?
	Jayce?
	Okay.
	See?
	She's with me.
	Here's another story, by the way, speaking of things that aren't funny.
	We have this Quebec City man, I apologize, who electrocuted himself while shaving.
	Don't apologize.
	Local police received a call after midnight Tuesday about an unconscious man in the apartment building.
	When they arrived, they noted that the man had suffered burns and he had actually electrocuted himself.
	So feminists who actually heard the story were quoted as saying, See?
	I told you.
	See?
	See?
	Venus was full of crap!
	And unfortunately, actually, we had to just sort of embalm this story in a way that was more palatable because he actually died before he was done shaving.
	We have exclusive video.
	Let us pray in silence.
	Want to go tree climbing, Thomas J?
	His face hurts.
	And where is his glasses?
	He can't see without his glasses.
	Put his glasses on!
	Put on his glasses!
	For people listening on iTunes, this doesn't seem funny at all.
	How can they laugh at this?
	I was like, how are they gonna do that?
	It's a way to deal with trauma.
	Stop your car, pull over, and walk.
	Aaron, who edited that, I saw it when I saw it, I couldn't contain myself.
	That one really came out of left field for anyone who saw My Girl, don't you remember that?
	Yeah, I do.
	Not for me, because I always hated him as an actor.
	Really?
	Even that early?
	Come on!
	Like in The Good Son, where it was him and Bilbo Baggins.
	But that's later on!
	Yeah, but him and Bilbo Baggins hanging off of a cliff and the mother dropped him.
	That's true!
	Elijah Wood was in there!
	I actually stood up and cheered in the movie theater.
	Yeah, come on, he was cool in the end.
	By the way, did anyone actually see Macaulay Culkin on Joe Rogan?
	That was terrible.
	No.
	It was not nearly as sad as I thought it was going to be.
	No, but it was so painful.
	You know what was most—it's really uncomfortable whenever this happens, when there's a funny
	person, Joe Rogan, and then someone else is commenting on the funny but making it less
	funny.
	I can't remember—I watched— It was so uncomfortable.
	There was a segment where Joe Rogan was talking about, like, people wanting to retroactively change art, which we'll actually talk about with Jim Norton.
	He was talking about the Mona Lisa.
	He's like, yeah, if there were, like, a modern Italian, like, hey, let's take the Mona Lisa, let me give her some big tits and push them together.
	And McCulloch was like, right, and fix her eyebrows.
	You're not adding anything, McCauley.
	The most surprising part to me was that he said that was the first time he ever had a colonoscopy recently, though I guess if you get a colonoscopy on Neverland Ranch, it's not.
	This is the first doctor that's ever given him one.
	Let's just put it that way.
	It's a fine line between colonoscopy and videography.
	And voyeuristic.
	Speaking of more entertainment news, the Oscars now, they introduced a new award for Outstanding Achievement in Popular Film.
	Yes!
	This is for me, baby.
	This is all for me.
	It's actually in response to criticism that many of the films acknowledged by the Oscars don't, they said, do not reflect the viewing public.
	So now they're creating an awards category for, and there's certain parameters that have to be considered popular films.
	This year's recipient, Not DC.
	They also announced the Kevin Spacey Achievement Award for Excellence in Sex with Boys.
	Yeah, that's one they were looking forward to.
	The niche.
	There's so many candidates in that category.
	Well, this year's recipient is James Gunn.
	There's a spoiler alert.
	You know, Meryl Streep was just sitting at home like, so I...
	I have to make movies people like?
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Half-Asian lawyer, do I have to say allegedly when I just said James Gunn or since it's a photoshoot, am I okay?
	Yeah, you'll be alright.
	The thing that was funny though, just because nothing's ever woke enough, the New York Times had an editorial that this is bad news for Black Panther because people were assuming it was going to win the normal Oscar.
	This is going to become the Almost Oscars, right?
	We're going to win the CIS Oscars.
	Alright, and then we're going to get to something something Cortez, Alexandria.
	How is the middle name?
	I always get it wrong.
	I always wanted to say Cassio?
	Octavius?
	But usually in that Assassin's, they reserve that for people who try to assassinate other people?
	I have no idea.
	But before that, in other news, a Facebook argument actually led to a man shooting another man in the ass.
	Well, why not?
	So, according to police, Alex Stevens and Brian Sebring became involved in an argument that led Sebring to Stevens' home, and he brought his Glock semi-automatic pistol, shot him.
	Though, this is the problem if we talk about the polarization on social media.
	Though, in the spirit of providing full context, it should be noted that Stevens was vice chairman of the shoot-me-in-the-ass-literally-I-dare-you party.
	How does this pair with Obama's lean-forward party there?
	It almost seems like you're asking for it when you j- It almost seems like that party serves no other political purpose.
	Just block him.
	Glock him.
	No, just block him.
	Oh, not Glock.
	You know what?
	Block him.
	No.
	Let's just be safe and poke him.
	Doesn't exist anymore.
	Poke him anyway.
	Facebook's in.
	They're ready to poke him.
	It's time to go.
	Oh wait, we're still talking about Facebook.
	Yes, Pokemon Facebook.
	We have Ben Shapiro and Jim Norton on after this.
	So this is something we wanted to talk about, and Brodigan, you were passionate about this.
	Phil, have you been following Alexandria Cortez a whole lot?
	Yes, I have been very, very, very diligently trying to figure out what her middle names are.
	I haven't gotten quite anywhere else that's about it.
	$3.65 an hour.
	Can we multiple the hours?
	How much money have you spent on figuring this out?
	So in non-surprising news, according to her, America no longer has the upper middle class.
	I think we have the overlay there, right, Brodigan, of what she said.
	She said there's no more middle class in the United States.
	She's given a couple of interviews lately, but this is actually something more specific where she refers to Again, she's trying to paint a mental picture.
	She's taking the mantle from Bernie Sanders.
	You know he's pissed about that.
	She's going further left than he is, which is crazy.
	Yeah, okay.
	Well, let's see the clip first where she talks about this.
	This, like, upper middle class.
	is probably more moderate, but that upper middle class doesn't exist anymore in America.
	Yeah.
	Their heyday was in the 90s when kids had Furbies and parents,
	you had soccer moms with two vans and stuff. Furbies and two vans.
	Yeah. That's a dream.
	That's not America anymore. No, it's not America anymore.
	You don't even recognize America.
	If you have two actual crazy eyes... Yeah.
	Look, this is... I think we have another one, too.
	I think we have another... Do we have... We have, like... It's just... Google any picture of her eyes.
	Multiple of them.
	And it shows you.
	Google.
	Google.
	That's awesome.
	You know who's most upset about this is Bernie Sanders because she's more... She's still more attractive than Bernie Sanders.
	It's true.
	It's like, Socialism is an aging SON OF A BITCH!
	I mean, can you imagine being him, staking out that far left position, saying there's no way anybody's gonna top this, and boom.
	Crazy Eyes comes along.
	And he has to concede the territory.
	I'm a cisgender prick!
	The mantle is yours!
	He started it.
	It's true, though.
	This is how the left sees Cortez.
	So when America right now actually looks like this...
	Alexandria something Cortez actually sees this.
	Thanks for watching!
	Oh Great movie.
	Love it.
	But to be fair, have you been to a kid's soccer game?
	You're about to say something there, half-Asian lawyer Bill.
	Yo.
	I thought you were about to say something.
	No, there's nothing to be said about it.
	Amazing movie.
	It was Brodigan.
	I was, two things.
	One, in her defense, that does actually look like Bill de Blasio's New York City, so that's what she's gonna do.
	Or Chicago on a good weekend.
	Chicago on a good weekend.
	Straws are a fire hazard.
	But the annoying thing is, especially now that Democrat Socialists are basically the left's tea party, you're gonna see a bunch of these candidates.
	If you've ever been to a bar in New York City and had a conversation with Any of them?
	Alexandria Nina Pinto the Santa Maria Cortez she's literally she's literally
	You'd be like, you know something?
	I'm not drunk enough for you tonight.
	I'm going on.
	And she's going to be in Congress now.
	And then later you find out that she was busted from Burlington.
	Didn't the entire 20th century pretty much put to bed the fact that socialism sucks and kills millions and millions and millions of people?
	Not to bug eyes.
	By the way, let's get into her specific claim.
	She talks about the 90s in the middle class, now she talks about two vanes and Furbies and stuff.
	Okay, today, actually, Americans have it better than the 90s.
	Let's just use her comparison.
	So the average vehicle, specifically, which you have a fur capita.
	Furbies sucked!
	We've moved on.
	Steadily risen along with the median income, yes, when adjusted for inflation.
	So even in her examples, they have more cars and they have more money.
	And by the way, when you look at things that she didn't bring up, which is what we talk about a lot as free enterprise advocates, and you can comment, I'd love to hear from you, with advancements in technology, things like, okay, think of plasma screen cell phones now, smartphones.
	Again, 90s, you go back, it was still just a cell phone, a cellular phone.
	If you were lucky.
	And smartphone services, online educational assistance.
	Everything is more accessible than ever.
	You were talking, your first plasma screen was probably what?
	Yeah, my first plasma was about $2,500 and it was like the, you know... Because you're horrible with money!
	I am horrible with money.
	No, but... 200 pounds!
	But literally, it was like a bootleg plasma television and I got one last week for 500.
	Yeah.
	I was ecstatic to have a crack phone in high school.
	Yeah.
	With like 10 cents or $10 a text or something like that.
	It was ridiculous.
	You were very adept with it when you were infiltrating Antifa.
	Yeah.
	What we're missing here is that what she actually wants to do is actually make food more expensive.
	Think about it.
	Food more expensive when it all has to be local and organic and has to go through everything and single thing possible that the business progress has made over the years so that people can get fed.
	That's actually the opposite of what she wants to do.
	Especially try sticking a paper straw in a coconut.
	No, you're right.
	Actually, we have an overlay from American Enterprise.
	Food is cheaper right now and more healthy than ever.
	More healthy options than ever.
	Remember they used to talk about this?
	These food deserts.
	Yeah.
	Food deserts!
	Okay, well now there's Amazon Fresh!
	To Amazon!
	And here's the thing, they'd be even cheaper if we didn't price fix.
	So, for example, in Michigan, because the Great Lakes, record highs in a lot of them, and actually one of the best crop years ever, the last few years.
	You know this, Michigan's a very persnickety crop, so they need, it's not extreme cold or extreme hot, they need a very long, moderate, slow-thawing winter, and they've had the best in years.
	Best day of cherries around.
	So what happens?
	They make them dump cherries!
	Same thing in Canada or if I'm in Quebec, I remember they used to make them dump milk because they wanted the prices to be too low.
	Like, well, cherries will be too cheap.
	So we have to save the cherry farm.
	Let's fix the prices of the cherries.
	And the milk, they're not giving them to cheese factories.
	No.
	They're not giving them to the homeless.
	Jumping down the drain.
	Just give it to a homeless shelter.
	Price fix?
	Homeless shelter fixing prices?
	It's her retinal.
	My gosh.
	Anytime the government gets involved, they really do screw these things up.
	They actually hurt themselves.
	Whatever goal they have, they don't achieve it.
	And they make prices higher for everybody else.
	Well, unless their goal is to make prices higher.
	With price fixing, it's clear that they want to make it higher, and then they want to complain about higher prices.
	By the way, if we're talking about where the middle class is getting reamed on prices, at least as far as 2016 and 2017 is concerned, America has actually spent more money on taxes than food and clothing combined!
	Coming from your labor statistics, Ms.
	Socialist!
	A little bit more.
	So if you want to talk about Americans having more money, again, like you said, take a closer look at the government.
	Also, by the way, Cortez sees Furbies like this.
	I kind of agree with her there.
	Also, by the way, Furbies are still available!
	You know why people don't have Furbies anymore, something something Cortez?
	Because they have iPads with Angry Birds and neuropsychiatric applications!
	Nostalgic dummy.
	I will say that in Alexandria Moleri-Cortez's defense, Furbies were kind of evil.
	Oh yeah, they were.
	Remember when you first got the Furby?
	Everyone was lining up for them.
	Yeah.
	Like, look, it has this new sensor technology.
	Everyone's like, hold on a second.
	It's just a button underneath the felt.
	It's T.U.
	Beanie Babies plus the devil.
	Yes!
	T.Y.
	T.Y.
	Beanie Babies.
	T.Y.
	Beanie Babies.
	T.Y.
	Beanie Babies.
	That's what it was.
	Remember the people who thought those were investments?
	Oh, man.
	I know.
	Oh, yes.
	Bradley Cortez.
	That's why she became a socialist.
	She just has a closet full of Beanie Babies right next to Barney.
	I got... Son of a bitch!
	My pink flamingo didn't pay off!
	It was a first release!
	Capitalism doesn't work!
	These Beanie Babies, they should have been worth more!
	I'm still banking on my magic, the Gathering Card!
	She goes on to make another claim that unemployment is only low because Americans have to work two jobs.
	Let her say it.
	The numbers that you just talked about is part of the problem, right?
	Because we look at these figures and we say, oh, unemployment is low, everything is fine, right?
	Well, unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs.
	Everyone.
	Even PolitiFact, bring this up Roderick, and rated this as Pants on Fire.
	So, I mean, that is friendly Pants on Fire by the way.
	They searched the first page of Google and then wrote the article.
	Yes, exactly.
	The first link says no.
	That's what's remarkable about this, because I'm pretty sure PolitiFact is funded by Hillary Clinton donors.
	Pretty much.
	So for Alexandria, the Riz of the Jersey and old dirty bastard Cortez to get a Pants on Fire?
	How long have you been working on this?
	I know, right?
	These are so good.
	And by the way, I want to get this correct, I'm pretty sure PolitiFact is funded by Podesta's underground pizza sex ring.
	That's absolutely correct.
	By the way, we have the numbers, it's currently actually the number of, I think, job holders is about 7 million compared to more than 148 million Americans who are employed in a single job.
	So this is important.
	It's not because of two jobs.
	And by the way, also, a lot of people are working second jobs right now because of something else that the left opposes.
	Ironically, socialists oppose the sharing economy.
	So people who work full-time jobs who don't have to work second jobs, they drive Uber or they use their home as an Airbnb.
	So it's really hard to get those numbers.
	Even then, it's more damning than she would hope you to believe, again, Rated Pants on Fire.
	But here's another thing that she goes on to suggest, because the other things aren't necessarily working.
	So she just keeps digging her hole deeper and deeper with her bug eyes.
	I don't think she knows how many holes Where am I?
	New ideas, right?
	Like universal basic income.
	The mayor of Stockton, he's exploring doing a pilot program of universal basic income.
	That's also what people want right now.
	They want new ideas.
	What she actually means is Nick and Nate Diaz.
	Right, yes, exactly.
	Nick and Nate Diaz.
	Oh my gosh.
	Mayor of Stockton.
	She's like the mayor of Stockton, city commissioner of Toledo, Ohio.
	Tule-do.
	Happened in Flint.
	By the way, this is not a new idea.
	Universal basic income has been tried in places like Canada and Finland and surprise!
	They're not continuing it.
	Yeah, it's not going on.
	It's also the single worst idea ever floated in basic economics.
	Hold on a second.
	There's still the Holocaust.
	Careful.
	That idea wasn't floated.
	That actually happened.
	That's true.
	I was in Iran.
	It didn't happen.
	It wasn't exactly.
	Let me run something by you!
	I think it goes to Holocaust, the Ghostbusters remake, and universal basic income.
	And Transformers 4.
	Or any Transformers except for the 1986 cartoon movie, where everyone died.
	Is that an actual?
	Way to be a downer while we were getting some momentum, everybody.
	Sorry, you're in a horrible place.
	And here's the thing, this is all based on the premise, and she repeats this a lot ad nauseum, just like Bernie Sanders did.
	It's predicated on the concept that inequality is a plaguing, gigantic, evil, social injustice.
	And it's not.
	We need stronger champions, but I don't think that they see exactly how rising income inequality has resulted in a very stark political reality.
	Uh, okay.
	Um, this is one thing we've talked- and a lot of people- we've talked about this quite a bit on the show, Nakajit, going back to when we were in the- basically in the AM radio days.
	Yep, we did.
	Um, but we didn't have the ability to do charts.
	No graphics.
	No, we didn't have any graphics back then.
	Everything made a lot more sense on audio, though.
	Yes, it made a lot more sense on audio.
	So they- we've talked about this.
	When you- people say, about inequalities, what's wrong with inequality?
	Well, don't you think inequality is wrong?
	No.
	And their brains explode.
	Let me explain to you.
	Inequality in and of itself is not a problem if everyone is doing better.
	People can have greater economic equality and actually be far worse off.
	See Venezuela.
	So let me kind of give you an example.
	Let's say there's a $10 pie.
	Okay?
	There's a $10 pie.
	I own 50.
	You own 50.
	Right?
	We're equal.
	There you go.
	You have perfect equality.
	Now is that better than let's say you go and grow that pie to $500 pie?
	So now I only have 20% of that pie, right?
	I still have 20 times what I had before!
	Even though the quality gap has widened significantly.
	Where am I better off?
	And most importantly, you have pie.
	More importantly, this is why inequality cannot be a measurement in and of itself.
	We say this, it's nuance, it doesn't exist in a vacuum.
	Inequality doesn't exist in a vacuum.
	Anytime you have somebody who creates goods or services that benefit the rest of society, that gap is going to widen.
	Kind of like anytime Wayne Gretzky went to go play for a hockey team, guess what?
	The gap between his scoring and the rest of the players, it was always wider than before Wayne Gretzky arrived on the team, but everybody else played better.
	Were they so off for Wayne Gretzky being on the team?
	Of course not!
	Or like when Michael Jordan played for the Bulls.
	Or LeBron.
	No, never mind LeBron.
	You don't want to talk about that.
	Too soon!
	On Nakajara's last day, it's still a short spot.
	It's a little sting there.
	Rude.
	And this is why, because I know we had a lot of Bernie bros who sort of jumped to Donald Trump, and we have a lot of people who were formerly sort of socialists who got on board with the anti-SJW bandwagon.
	I want to hear where you guys are right now with this Cortez business, if maybe your eyes have been opened.
	Not quite as widely as hers, but you understand where I'm coming from.
	Stanley Kubrick.
	Eyes wide.
	Very wide.
	Oh my god.
	They're so wide.
	Are you a pug?
	It's just Tom Cruise going, we're gonna need a stand-in.
	It's a fundamental worldview issue where people like Cortez, she always says, oh, I have a
	degree and I have a degree.
	No, she doesn't understand economics, because not only can that pie grow, as we've talked about, but as conservatives, we've talked about this, due to human ingenuity in a free enterprise system, we can bake more pies!
	A limitless number of pies.
	Brodigan, you forgot your pie graphic there, sir.
	There's a limit, there you go.
	Look it, look it.
	Oh, wow, look at all the pies.
	That was such a good graphic, and Brodigan was, for those who are listening, he was about five seconds late on the pies.
	At least five.
	In my defense, I was trying to think of a new witty middle name for Alexandria Cortez.
	You weren't doing your job.
	We need more Brodigans is what we need.
	No, no, no.
	Alexandria Anti-Diabetes.
	Cortez.
	She's just trying to eat not so much pie, right?
	You know, it's bad.
	Oh, I got it.
	Alexandria Bye-Bye Miss American Pie Cortez.
	There we go.
	That's the worst of all of them.
	That's the last time I hand out bourbon before the show as a celebration for Matt K. Jarrett's pregnancy.
	Spoiler alert!
	By the way, to use your own words, it's not the 90s anymore.
	I can name you entirely new pies that have been created since.
	This is a good example.
	People are like, oh, you say you can create new pies.
	I don't know why.
	That's a really silly argument.
	That's the actual argument she's making.
	She thinks it's a zero-sum game.
	Okay, what pies have been created, have been baked since the 90s that didn't exist?
	Smartphones, Amazon, social media, electric cars, fracking, nanotechnology, the sharing economy.
	None of these pies existed two decades ago.
	Or came from Venezuela.
	Or came from Venezuela.
	Or any socialist country, for that matter.
	Or Finland.
	I'm pretty sure not much.
	No.
	Maybe something during those times.
	I have no idea.
	I cannot, I can't verify that completely, but I'm pretty sure Finland's crappy.
	So why are we bitching?
	Oh, that's right, because Cortez sees the United States like this.
	I think she just needs to get it dialed in.
	That's a bad day.
	We have Ben Shapiro coming up next, and then Jim Norton.
	We'll hear from you in the comments section below.
	It's a bench barrel.
	Damn it, sir.
	I should have worn a spandex.
	Good Goat Petty Rangers Good Goat Petty Rangers
	Good Goat Petty Rangers Good Goat Petty Rangers
	I'm proud of Petty Rangers Good Goat Petty Rangers
	Good Goat Petty Rangers Good Goat Petty Rangers
	All right.
	Glad to have our first guest.
	One of the favorites here on the show.
	One of the favorites.
	People really like him.
	I mostly like him.
	It depends on the day.
	He is going to be in Dallas, Texas on August 15th.
	Ben Shapiro Live!
	It's the name of the show.
	Not particularly original with the naming, but you can get the tickets at LiveNation.com.
	You can follow him at Ben Shapiro.
	Of course, his show is available on Daily Wire, iTunes, anywhere else podcasts are sold or have kick-ass bedsheet commercials.
	How are you, Ben?
	Doing well.
	I mean, you should just feel lucky that we didn't name the show Ben Shapiro Mug Club.
	I feel very fortunate.
	You would not be the first to have attempted that.
	Are there still tickets left, by the way, in Dallas?
	Yeah, there's still a couple tickets left.
	I think it's like a 3,500 seat house, and I think that there may be 150 seats left, something like that.
	Very nice, humblebrag, I appreciate it.
	That's right, you like that.
	Speaking of humblebrag, you're still on the YouTube, I'm still on the YouTube, but all over the news this week, listen, you have no love lost, I don't think it's any secret for Alex Jones, InfoWars, you're not a big fan, but what's your opinion this week on the unilateral action kind of taken against the channels across the board?
	I mean, I have to admit that every time I talk about Alex Jones, I just want to rip off my jacket and go crazy into supplements!
	Yes.
	But aside from that, I'm not a big fan.
	He suggested that I'm an atheist and that he would send people to the homes of some of the funders of the Daily Wire.
	And also that Satan should get behind him as he attacked me and he was going to get in my business.
	So yeah, Alex Jones and I are not the best of friends, but the fact that... I think that Ben is taking hallucinogenic mushrooms again, people.
	Like Moses with the burning bush, if you listen to the same people online.
	Have you heard this conspiracy?
	People are like, you're crazy spaghetti monster God.
	And then they have this whole conspiracy about Moses was on hallucinogenic mushrooms with the burning bush.
	That takes so much more effort to make up that one.
	Just say it's non-existent!
	Let's just disagree!
	My favorite is when they suggest that I'm part of a dessert cult, because they can't spell the word desert.
	So they instead say that I'm part of a dessert cult, which actually, frankly, sounds like an amazing cult.
	Like, if I were going to lead a cult, that would definitely, like the cheesecake cult.
	Come on, have a knish.
	Come in.
	Wait, is knish a dessert?
	I'm not chewy enough.
	I thought it was a potato thing.
	It is not, actually.
	It is not, actually.
	I should have picked like a kugel.
	Like a kugel would be better.
	I'm calling you on your Jewish references.
	Look at this!
	I know, my God.
	This Canadian Christian is nailing the Jew to the wall on his Yiddish references.
	I don't feel comfortable.
	I don't like talking about nailing any Jew to a wall.
	This is taking a horrible turn.
	I learned that because I was watching a special, I remember, with my friend in New York City, and it was this whole special on ganishes in Manhattan, and we just said, you know what, we've never had a ganish, and we went and we had it, and I gotta tell ya, It's all right.
	So back to the Alex Jones info.
	It's nothing special.
	What is your opinion on disagreeing with him personally?
	I know you've had your personal runs.
	Yeah, so Alex Jones is a complete douchebag, but the fact that all of these... We understand that you don't like him, Shapiro!
	Let me be clear.
	I think that he's a steaming pile of human dung.
	But the fact that Alex Jones is being banned by all of these various tech companies for Bad reasons is really a problem.
	So if they had said, listen, we're not going to allow people on our platform who libel or who slander or who engage in widespread conspiracy theories.
	If they were to do that, that at least is some sort of objective standard that I guess that you could maybe hold to.
	But what you can't do is just say hate speech and then ban things.
	I mean, you can because you're a private company, but it sets a really bad standard because I mean, Steven, you know, I know, we all know, anybody on the conservative right knows that half the stuff that we say that is just basic fact is now construed as hate speech by folks on the left.
	If I say a man is a man and a woman is a woman, I have to have 600 police officers to protect me in Berkeley, and people are calling it hate speech.
	So I'm not comfortable with all of these tech companies using the category of hate speech to ban Alex Jones, even though, if I've not made clear, I think that Alex Jones is a dumpster fireman.
	Doers for fire! I think I know where you're coming from with that.
	And you know what's...
	Listen, I disagree with Alex.
	I think he implied that I work for you at one point.
	People were telling me that something happened because he hadn't been on the show in a while,
	and I hadn't been on his...
	I can't afford your salary, man.
	I can't afford your salary.
	I know you can't!
	You know, you Jews are tight-fisted with a dollar.
	No, it really is one of those deals where it didn't make any sense to me because I know his son has been a supporter and so I've always tried to be amicable with as many people as possible.
	And I'll go on shows whose views differ greatly from mine.
	I know you will too.
	But this does really concern me.
	I thought this.
	So you're a lawyer.
	I'm a lawyer and I did think there's a Sandy Hook angle if they would have if they'd have spoken about this because you know there's a lawsuit coming and you know Sandy Hook they're going to win and apparently Alex said that he might counter sue the Sandy Hook people and I was thinking maybe if you two were to say we do not want the legal liability of allowing this to play out on our platform but again it's not they spoke about hate speech or even if they just suggested which was the the specific line that he crossed if they just said you're not allowed to call Sandy Hook victims child actors right then it's like okay All right.
	Like, okay.
	It's a very specific policy.
	It seems kind of niche, but I think we know where you're going with this.
	Exactly.
	Like, then you can't do the, first they came for Alex Jones because he called the children of Sandy Hook child actors.
	And then they came because nobody else called them child actors.
	So there's no next step to the slippery slope.
	When you say first, they came for Alex Jones because of hate speech.
	And then you're like, well, yeah, but they can expand that definition to encompass Pretty much anything.
	So yeah, it's... And they're not consistent in applying it.
	The coordinated hit of it was also a serious problem.
	Like, it wasn't just one outlet decided, okay, we're gonna do this, and then three months later, another outlet decided to do it.
	It was all of a sudden, all of them decided at once, which looks a hell of a lot like collusion.
	It looks like all these people are calling each other up.
	Now let me ask you this, as a lawyer, what amount of evidence is needed if you're going to bring up collusion as an argument?
	I mean at that point, what are the statistical odds of Spotify, iTunes, YouTube, Facebook, or maybe it wasn't iTunes?
	I think it was Apple, I'm not sure iTunes, it was Facebook, it was YouTube, and Spotify.
	All of them did it within a day of each other.
	I think that there may be a monopoly argument there.
	I mean, there may be a restraint of train argument there.
	But this, I mean, honestly, I'm not going to speak outside my domain of constitutional law.
	No, but that would lend itself to the argument of, you know, of it being effectively these major platforms.
	Some conservatives have argued and for a long time I've said, no, I don't agree about them being public utilities if it acts as a monopoly.
	And like I said, in this case, this is pretty clear that it acted certainly as a monolith.
	They all acted in unison, which is very bizarre.
	Yeah, and what's weird is you have all these people who are out there saying, so this is the part that drives me crazy.
	People say, so why are you defending Alex Jones?
	It's like, again, I'm not defending Alex Jones.
	I'm defending the principle that you can't just call things hate speech and then ban them because they're quote-unquote hate speech.
	That's not an actual category of speech.
	Right.
	It's not a thing.
	Yeah, and it's a thing that can be used against anybody that you don't like.
	It's highly irritating to me.
	When the left just creates these linguistic categories and then piles everybody into them.
	And I have to say, they are shrinking the Overton window.
	Now, Alex Jones may be outside the Overton window.
	I think he probably is.
	In fact, I definitely think he is.
	But that doesn't mean that the left thinks that he's the only person outside the Overton window, right?
	There was that whole Vox.com video they cut where it was like, everyone's outside the Overton window now, right?
	Alex Jones, you're outside the Overton window, presumably.
	I'm outside the Overton window.
	Like, every single person is outside the Overton window, and you're left with a monolith of leftist opinion that is inside the Overton window, plus David Frum, Anna Navarro, and Max Boot, right?
	For now.
	As long as David Frum and Max Boot end up being as anti-Trump as they are right now, then we will sort of give them this strange new respect where they get to talk.
	But if you are remotely conservative, even if you don't like Trump, Then you are considered outside the realm of acceptable discourse.
	And of course, you know, I experienced that when I single-handedly destroyed the MCU just by sitting here a couple of weeks ago after that whole Mark Duplass thing, where it was like, Mark Duplass, that indie director, tweets out something remotely nice about me.
	Ben, you don't need to describe Mark Duplass to me.
	I know who he is.
	He was on this show, but... That's right.
	He was on the show before... Here's the truth about that.
	I actually wanted to talk with you about that.
	He was on the show before anyone else, before any other shows.
	This was the first conservative show he did, right?
	So he came on the show, and it was...
	It was the way I am with all voices of opposition.
	Matched intensity, was very civil, but you could see him getting kind of upset if ever I said,
	well, okay, I understand where you're coming from, but I do disagree.
	And at that point, he was used to conservative, civil discourse,
	meaning let's just find common ground.
	But I said, no, let's get to the truth.
	And then after that, we had him on a second time.
	And I tried to keep this private because I was hoping he would come back around.
	But after your debacle, it's kind of given me, it's liberated me to speak about it.
	He sent me an email saying, I don't think that you're actually seeking common ground, and I don't want to do your show anymore.
	I'm like, OK, I understand that.
	But then he did the same thing with you.
	And now he's done it effectively with all conservatives, not named French.
	Is it David French?
	Mr. French is the butler.
	I always get the two confused.
	Principle's the same.
	But here's the thing with David, right?
	Like, I'm good friends with David French.
	And these people won't accept David French either.
	Like, I happen to know that these people will not accept David French.
	Like, I talk to David a lot, and the reality is that anyone who is remote... Like, David holds views that are the same as yours and mine as far as transgenderism, that you can't magically change your gender.
	Well, let me let me clarify.
	I mean, they will they will accept anyone who is very anti-Trump because they see them as a useful tool, like you were talking about.
	But even there, they'll do that so long as they don't sniff that you're a conservative.
	Right.
	Right.
	So is so that that's if every column you write, like Max Boot lately.
	is Donald Trump is Stalin, and no matter what Donald Trump does, it's always wrong.
	Yeah.
	Then they'll accept you as long as you're doing that.
	But the minute you write a column that's even like half thought out
	about something remotely conservative, like Bret Stephens, right?
	Is his anti-Trump is Max Boot.
	But when Bret Stephens writes something about climate change, then it's,
	why is this guy even at the New York Times?
	How's this even a thing?
	Like Barry Weiss, who is also very, very anti-Trump.
	Like she's been, like there's no way she gets hired now.
	Like, a year ago she got hired, and that was basically the last person through the door, because there's no way they're gonna hire anybody even as quasi-right-wing as Barry Weiss, who is not a hardcore right-winger.
	Especially not if they're named after a seasonal Lennon-Kugel's beer, though it is delicious.
	I do understand where you're coming from on all of this, but yeah, I was really sorry to see Mark Duplass do that with you.
	I thought you were kind of the last go-around.
	After he had turned down our show, I was going, All right.
	Well, maybe because, you know, we have, we've had Tranny Bain and obviously with comedy, it's a little more edgy.
	I thought, well, maybe Ben Shapiro will have a crack at it.
	And sorry, no dice.
	The fact that I've become the, the fact that, you know, for a while there, I was sort of the outer limit and now I'm outside the outer limit and they just keep moving the limits in.
	And so this is why I say like, if you can't have a conversation with you or with me, or even with like David French, like who has left?
	They can't have a, like Stephen Colbert labeled Jonah Goldberg a trumper on national television.
	How insane do you have to be to have crammed the size of acceptable opinion into a thimble?
	And that's really what they've done.
	I mean, every acceptable opinion can fit in the palm of their hand.
	And that's what's so scary about the YouTube and InfoWars is because they say, well, they're outside of this thimble, but everybody is absolutely outside of this this thimble.
	That being said, I do think there's a silver lining.
	Do you think this will be self-correcting a little bit with the market, with YouTube and Facebook?
	I think they're acting in unison, but they can't do it for very long without pissing off half their user base.
	Yeah, I think that's right.
	And I think that what you're going to start seeing is more and more people, you know, at least building up as a side business, a subscriber model like you have, or like we have, people saying, listen, we're not going to, we're not going to be subject to YouTube demonetizing us and YouTube destroying our viewer base.
	You want to come watch our stuff, come watch our stuff, right?
	And I think that you're going to see the media fragment YouTube and Facebook and a lot of these other social media sites, one of the fascinating things is that they arose in opposition to a controlled media infrastructure where you only had three channels and that controlled what you could watch.
	And then they came along and they said, well, you can post anything here, right?
	And then it was like, wow, this is great.
	I can get whatever video I want on demand at any time.
	This is just awesome.
	And now they're restricting this, right?
	Now they're treating themselves like the old networks used to.
	We're going to decide what can go on and what can go off, and we're going to decide it based on ideological bias.
	And what that's going to lead to is new fora that replace these.
	So I saw somebody say, well, nothing can go up against Facebook.
	Nothing can go up against YouTube.
	I'm old enough to remember when MySpace was a thing.
	I'm old enough to remember when Friendster was a thing.
	And then Zango was a thing before that.
	And that was nothing but Asians and horny emo kids.
	So I remember all of these things.
	No, you're absolutely right.
	Yes, I do mean that.
	doing that. It was Asians at Zanga and then the horny emo kids took it over and
	then it became basically like it like the it became a whorehouse like MySpace.
	It's tumbleweeds and prostitutes. That's what MySpace became and that paved the
	way for Facebook. Let me final final question on this. You have your areas of expertise.
	I do have my areas of expertise. So this is a this I do think this is important for people to understand.
	Like you said, it's important to see someone like you who disagrees a lot with Alex Jones because people are going, well you can feud ideologically and still understand that there's a real problem at play here.
	I do hope it will be self-correcting.
	That was what I was going to ask you.
	Did you guys get the email from YouTube on their new copyright policies now?
	I know, I haven't seen that one yet, but I can check with our social media team.
	Well, because it used to be YouTube was one of the few places that respected fair use a little bit more, and now it seems as though they're opening the window to anything critical.
	For example, a rebuttal to Vox or a rebuttal to Chris Cuomo might not be fair use.
	They might actually allow copyright claim IDs against those.
	The wording is always, as you know, very vague, very broad, but it seems like that's where they're moving.
	And I think if they do that, they're done.
	That's a real problem, especially because fair use is obviously a defense.
	It's not actually a claim.
	So when you put something up, their first goal is going to be to take everything down, and then it takes you a week to put it back up, saying, no, this is fair use, and they have to reanalyze it.
	So if they start cracking down on that stuff more harshly, it's going to be a serious problem.
	It's going to be a serious problem, but I think it's the kind of problem that will cause mass exodus.
	I do want people to understand this, and I know you can confirm this as a lawyer.
	There is the law, for example, single-party consent states.
	YouTube does not abide by the law.
	So even though it's fair use, legally you can do it, YouTube, they say, well, hold on a second, we're not going to abide by the single-party consent law.
	You have to have a written release form at a public protest, even though this person is committing a crime in a public space, and you don't need to.
	The law says no, YouTube says yes, and that's the problem with the fair use, the copyright, the content claim IDs.
	It's a moving target.
	And I know Ben's been at the front of it, fighting it.
	So have we, even though we're different in a lot of ways.
	And I know InfoWars, in a lot of ways, have been doing it, too.
	And so I hate to see any voice eliminated.
	Ben, where is this show that people can find you?
	So we are doing it at... What's the name of the theater?
	I don't even know.
	I don't even know.
	It's in Dallas.
	It's in Dallas.
	Just go to Ticketmaster.
	I believe Dallas is a city, so go check it out.
	Ticketmaster.com or LiveNation.com.
	That's where you can get the tickets.
	Is there a big Jewish community in Dallas?
	Yeah, there is actually.
	I believe Dallas is the fourth largest risk community in the United States.
	I think there's New York, L.A., Chicago, Dallas, I think.
	Really?
	Wow, that surprises me a whole lot.
	They must be hiding because I have not met many when I've spent time in Dallas.
	But I'm glad.
	You know, I don't think they do so... They would acclimate to the temperature very well.
	I mean, you know, the reason you haven't found them is they see this giant Canadian who's, you know, trying to figure out whether they're properly using the word knish.
	And they're like, why would I?
	I can't be around this person.
	You're going to nail me to the wall.
	Look at this.
	Not that many Jews in Canada and French Canadians are a little bit anti-Semitic in nature.
	Alright, that is at Ben Shapiro.
	Daily Wire is the show August 15th in Dallas.
	Thank you Ben Shapiro.
	We have Jim Norton next.
	We must go!
	On now for Barely Legal with Bill Richmond.
	Sponsored by my club.
	Hi, Bill Richmond, Louder with Crowder's Half-Asian Lawyer, here to explain sometimes confusing legal terms and concepts.
	Today we're talking about different types of courts that exist to solve legal issues.
	First up, family court.
	Divorce, child custody, you probably know what I'm talking about.
	But if you don't, think O.J.
	Simpson and Nicole Brown's first fight, but with less blood and no gloves.
	Next is Probate Court, where you resolve post-death issues like wills and estates and inheritances.
	It's the place Anna Nicole Smith hung out on weekends hoping for a pot of gold.
	General Jurisdictional Court is a potpourri of judicial forums.
	You get a little civil, a little criminal, a little family, a little probate.
	A lot of small-time, small-county courts are like that.
	Then you go to the next level, the Court of Appeals, where someone smarter is going to be checking your work.
	And finally, the Supreme Court at the top dog in most states and the United States.
	In some states, though, like New York, they just want to be different and ornery.
	They call their basic court the Supreme Court, and then their top court the Court of Appeals.
	Assholes.
	I hope this clarifies the issue for you, though considering this is the internet, you probably forgot half of what I said and will send me a letter anyways asking the same question in a week.
	I will not respond.
	I'm half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman for Louder with Crowder.
	Cheers.
	This has been Barely Legal with Bill Richmond.
	Sponsored by Mug Club.
	Apparently this means star.
	I have no idea.
	I don't know why.
	I have no idea why.
	Our next guest, I'm a big fan.
	So we just had Ben Shapiro, who is one of the fan favorites.
	And it looks like we're going to have Owen Benjamin next week in third chair.
	Excited about that.
	This is one of my personal favorites.
	We had Nick DiPaolo, I think, last week or two weeks ago.
	I think he's one of, if you're going to take pure comedy, one of the best comedians out
	there working today.
	You can follow him on the Twitter, at Jim Norton, as long as they still allow him.
	And he'll be at Hilarities in Cleveland, August 17th and 18th, I think.
	Hey, jimnorton.com.
	Jim, is that, do I have that right?
	Is it 17th and 18th?
	It is, yeah.
	It's my first time in that club.
	It's supposed to be a great club.
	Everybody loves the owner.
	So whenever comedians love the club owner, it's a good place, because usually comedians look at club owners the way you look at a guard at Dachau.
	So I'm kind of happy to be finally going there.
	You look jacked, by the way.
	You look big.
	No, you know what it is?
	I've just lost weight because I'm sick, and so that's the camera fake, you know?
	I'm just more gaunt, so I look lean.
	But really, I'm weaker and less capable.
	This happens, and I'm pretty sure if I took off my shirt right now, I'd have big tits.
	But you know, Ben Shapiro's gonna be in Dallas August 15th, so a lot of live shows going on right now, which is good.
	Often August is kind of a dead month for entertainment.
	It's a hard month to sell tickets, because people are down the shore.
	Unless you're a big-name comic.
	Well, Ben just talks, right?
	Does he go up and give, like, will he debate or talk?
	Now he's doing the Ben Shapiro show live, since, you know, we did it here.
	But no, he's very skilled, and anyone can do Q&A.
	But you're a big name in comedy.
	I mean, you're right up there.
	Well, yeah, I mean, when you look at big names, I do well, but I mean, you know, Kevin Hart does two arenas a night.
	Like, that's not even comedy.
	That's just like, the guy's like a movie star who's a comedian, you know.
	But because he's a comedian, he kills in arenas.
	So for me, I'm happy if I can sell 800 or 1,000 tickets, I'm good.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Well, Kevin Hart, yeah, I did see that one time.
	I think when he was in Texas, he did two arenas in one night, along with two white chicks.
	So it was a busy night for him.
	And, I mean, I have no idea.
	I can't actually confirm that.
	Let me ask you this.
	You know what?
	No, wait, hold on a second.
	I've been to Hilarity's.
	You know how I remember?
	Because I did... Do they still have the Funny Bone in Pittsburgh?
	I don't know.
	I remember that gig.
	I stopped working there, but I don't think they have anyone.
	OK.
	Well, because remember there used to be karaoke on the other side there.
	It was like this big theater, the Funny Bone in Pittsburgh.
	It was really big.
	And it was kind of tough because it was such a big feeling room.
	Anyway, because I did something in Watertown, New York, back with Louis Ramey, and then I was at the Pittsburgh Funny Bone, and I had no money, so I had to stay in a motel because I was middling.
	Then for Greg Morton at Hilarities in Cleveland, and everyone's saying, it's an amazing club, because they put us in a hotel at that point that did not suck.
	And to me, it was incredible.
	It was a lot of fun.
	You know, that is one of the great things about traveling as a stand-up.
	You realize how many lousy accommodations there are.
	I've stayed in so many shit places.
	And, yeah, it's funny.
	Who did you just make?
	Oh, Louis Ramey.
	Yes.
	Louis is really great, man.
	He's one of my, the first comics I ever went to see.
	Like, I watched him.
	And, you know, as you do stand-up for a while, you realize how comics work.
	But I remember watching Louis Ramey, like, in 1990, and going, like, how?
	Does he do that like to create such a beautiful narrative and so smooth and calm?
	I'm like, I'll never be able to do what this guy does.
	So yeah, Louis is really funny.
	Really?
	I'm surprised.
	I wouldn't know you guys.
	So you weren't a guy who was always very confident, which is interesting.
	We just interviewed Daniel Cormier.
	And I find this.
	Yeah.
	He said that he was making excuses before his fight to Miocic, you know, to lose, even though he won.
	And obviously you're one of the more successful comedians out there.
	Did it start with confidence, or are you always nervous?
	Did you have a moment where you realized, though, that you could do this at a high level?
	Like, was there a crossover moment?
	You know, I have those moments, but they go away quickly.
	I really do walk around feeling like just garbage personified.
	I'm never, I'm completely uncomfortable in my own skin.
	It's funny, some young comedians in New York, like Mark Norman, Sam Murill, really funny dudes.
	They're like, yeah, we didn't think you'd like this for a while.
	Cause I'm so, but I love those guys.
	I think they're really good.
	But I'm just so socially uncomfortable.
	I don't think anybody likes me.
	I just, I say hello and I kind of go in and I leave.
	But it's not to be a dick.
	It's because I'm like, ah, these guys, they probably think I suck.
	So I have zero confidence.
	You think they think you suck?
	No, I will say this.
	When I used to do Red Eye and you were there, you were one of the very, very friendly comedians when I walked in.
	I was very nervous.
	Well, thank you.
	Because comedians were good to me.
	You know, there's a comedian named Lynn Vecchio.
	I never saw her again.
	At this point I was 21. I was very nervous.
	So that's very kind of you.
	I always say this about you.
	And I said on Joe Rogan's show, you're filthy on stage, but you've got a sweet heart.
	Well, thank you.
	Because comedians were good to me.
	You know, there's a comedian named Lynn Vecchio.
	I never saw her again.
	I met her once in 1990 before I ever did stand up.
	She talked to me for a half hour.
	She was a middle act.
	Just about comedy and what it was like.
	And I will never forget her kindness to me.
	So I always try to be nice to comics.
	Because she gave me a lot of love, and I had never even performed, and I never saw her again.
	So whoever that woman is, I owe her a lot.
	And, you know, she just showed me a lot of kindness back when I—she had no reason to.
	This is far too touching for this program right now.
	It really is a wonderful after-school special.
	You know, I'm a dirty comic, and I'm on.
	You know, whatever happened to Linda Becchio, I'd like to give her an apple.
	How great would it be right now if someone just shot me and I slumped over and that was the end of it?
	Man, please shut up.
	That's how you signed off.
	I'd be happy.
	It's odd.
	Right before on-air we were talking about how douche just means shower in French.
	You were talking about your fixtures with douche on them.
	The off-air conversation was incredibly childish and what you would expect of comedians.
	And then on-air it gets very touching.
	Okay, speaking of which, comedy death.
	Hannah Gatsby.
	We were talking about this on-air.
	I never want to put other comedians in an awkward situation.
	But I remember tossing this to the audience.
	So I want to get your thoughts on the state of comedy today and kind of political correctness.
	This special was praised, was lauded for being the first comedy special that wasn't comedy.
	It wasn't subversive.
	She actually just says this is, you know, comedy, self-deprecation is just humiliation.
	And it goes into After School Special.
	What's your take on this concern?
	The media has just, I know it's been the big thing at the festival, it's been praised everywhere, front page write-ups.
	What's your read?
	Well, the media stinks.
	And you know, I watched Hannah's special, but I went into it kind of expecting to hate it completely.
	I'm like, all right, got it.
	And I watched it and I'm like, okay, I'm watching for like the first 40 minutes.
	I'm like, she's a legit stand up.
	Like she's not all curmudgeon.
	Like she does this thing after a punch.
	She smiled a lot.
	Like Paul Mooney does that.
	Paul Mooney will say some really harsh stuff and then he smiles and it just lets the air.
	It's a technique.
	It's like a performance technique.
	Right.
	Um, I liked the fact that she talked about really hard subjects.
	Like, you know, anytime somebody is talking about being raped or, uh, you know, uh, being gang called a man, all this stuff that messed her up.
	And then she does this whole thing on art.
	Like I've never heard anybody talk about contemporary art or the way artists were perceived as sex or whatever.
	So at least it was very, very original.
	Um, so I liked it, but at the end when it kind of became a Ted talk, I didn't think she needed to do that.
	She could do that.
	But when she says something like, well, self-deprecation is humiliation.
	It can be, But it doesn't have to be because nobody told more socially poignant or made more socially poignant stance than Richard Pryor.
	Richard Pryor talked about his mother being a prostitute.
	He talked about having homosexual encounters.
	He talked about a lot of stuff and he did it in 1971 and 1975 before it was polite and okay to do.
	And he was always funny.
	He talked about racism in America and he always kept it funny.
	And that to me is kind of what gives comedians the ability or the right to talk about this stuff
	because people want to hear it and be able to laugh about it.
	It's also really hard and that's why I wanted to get your take because we've talked about it with
	Nick DiPaolo who was on recently and I think he's going to be a third chair here in the coming weeks
	in studio with us because you deal with a lot of these issues that are pretty rough too and
	you've caught some flack sometimes for it.
	But it's a lot harder to come out and take that pain, because that's what comedy is, and turn it into something funny, than it is to sermonize.
	And so, that's where, for me, the problem was when the media tried to really prop this up and prop up the sermonization, which was the least interesting part of the special.
	Because here's the thing, a lot of people talk about modern art and postmodernism.
	It's like Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro on this show.
	Just not in comedy, because a lot of these people aren't able to turn it into something funny.
	That was my issue with it, and that was the second half.
	Yeah, no, no, I agree.
	Because I was enjoying... I love watching somebody talk about that really hard subject matter.
	But I don't believe that you can't make it funny, and I don't believe joking about it, if you joke about it the right way, or a way that you feel good about, is ever selling yourself out.
	If you're doing self-deprecation, well then find another way to tell your story.
	But I didn't hate it at all.
	Maybe because I went in with negative expectations, but people were like, it's not stand-up!
	I had a comedian tell me that, and I'm watching for like 40 minutes, I'm like, she's a legit comic!
	I mean, whether people like it or not, she's doing punchlines, she's doing stuff, She's telling a story about her life, and then she went at the end and told the real stuff.
	I hate to disagree with you, but I think it was like a 20-minute set with an hour of something special.
	Because the punchline was the first portion, but then it really stood out because there was a long gap with no comedy there.
	I thought that was like the last 15 minutes.
	I forget what she took that got to that.
	I don't remember what she did before, but I know because I was talking to Sam, my co-host, And I said to her, it was at about 40 minutes, I'm like, it feels very like just a legit stand up.
	He goes, Yeah, watch the end.
	It does get a little preachy.
	But I don't think she needed to do that.
	Like, I think that if she's like, telling her truth, again, Richard Pryor did it.
	You know, you look at his 1976 album, and I don't know if you'll beep this or not, but the album is called Bicentennial Nigger.
	And that's also the name of the track.
	And it's a tremendously sarcastic track at the end of that record about the sarcasm of America and how black people been treated.
	And it's really moving.
	And it's getting left this music overlaid.
	Yeah, when you listen to it, it's getting left the whole time, right?
	And he's telling the truth about slavery, and how black humor started.
	And it's an agonizing, awful truth.
	Yeah.
	And he gets laughed through the whole thing.
	And the last sentence, he says something real the last Moment.
	Right.
	And that's it.
	And it hits you like a shovel.
	So to me, like, that's how a guy who tells a very sad truth does it as a brilliant comic.
	I'm not going to believe that just because I've said it enough times on this show when quoting other people that I don't want to be Papa John's, so you're my collateral.
	So I'll be like, look, Jim Norton said it on my show, too.
	With that record, with Richard Pryor, with the name of his albums, I understand the backlash against certain words, especially that word, but I'm not qualified To edit or change what that genius called his record.
	I'm sorry, I'm just not.
	That's what he chose to call it, and that's the name of the record.
	But the final bit, which is the title track... Hold on a second.
	That's really insightful, what you just said.
	I think a lot of people don't realize what they're watching sometimes when, obviously when we have an interview with you, but the more I listen to you, that's a very insightful way of putting it.
	If people are listening, if they have ears to hear, you don't have the right to edit Pryor's material.
	He wanted it that way, and some rich white guy in Greenwich Village shouldn't be the one to change that.
	But yeah, you know, I think it's probably with the Hannah Gatsby, if you go in with those expectations, it's kind of like going... I'm trying to think of, like, Keeping Up with the Joneses was a comedy that I watched, and I saw it on an airplane, and I had no expectations.
	And I was like, eh, it was alright.
	But then someone who paid for the ticket was pretty pissed.
	That being said, there's still some that I just hate, even when I see it on an airplane, like the washer.
	I turned away from the screen.
	Um, it was that bad.
	I think I'm in the lonesome with the Watchmen.
	You ever see the Watchmen?
	I've only heard, this is the first negative thing I've heard, but I haven't watched it myself, so I don't know.
	It's just so bleak for the sake of being bleak.
	Okay.
	This is one thing, though, you know, you talk about a lot of painful issues, obviously, and you certainly get into some controversial issues.
	Doesn't it, this is kind of my issue with not just that special, but this idea now of people policing what we can and can't say.
	That is, and Richard Pryor was a great example, One of the primary purposes of comedy is being able to... I think Phyllis Diller made the quote, and we've talked about this before, it's a rubber-tipped sword, a way to make a point without drawing blood.
	So to condemn the idea... I think it was Phyllis Diller.
	Do you know who said that?
	No, I've never heard that, but that's actually good.
	Okay, it's definitely not mine, but I can never remember who said it.
	You tweet me, it has to be out of people who are listening, because I don't want to be accused of plagiarizing something when I clearly tried to attribute the quote.
	You did present it as a quote of somebody else.
	I tried to as best I could but that is a primary purpose of comedy so for the media to jump on board
	and anyone in comedy to suggest otherwise to me is that very kind of slippery slope of someone
	declaring self humiliate self-deprecation is humiliation that's to declare a lot of comedy
	not just your own I don't care what Gatsby thinks of her own stuff but that's to declare I mean
	Brian Regan his whole act is basically self-deprecation right but it's not humiliation
	Right, yeah, and he's great and he's brilliant at it.
	That's when I get, ooh, my antennae go up, when you try to declare someone else's comedy not valid or not acceptable.
	I'm sorry, Steven, yeah, and I agree with you, because I think that she goes wrong when she says self-deprecation is humiliating, because it's not.
	There's something very honest.
	If you're up there and you're fat, and you're just going, look at me, I'm a big fat pig, like, then maybe you're deprecating yourself or humiliating yourself.
	But if you're telling the truth about the way you see things.
	Like I've told the truth about like hating myself or whatever.
	A lot of people do.
	I'm not unique in that.
	I'm just voicing what this little stupid thing tells me in my head all day and I'm trying to make it funny.
	But I'm not selling myself out and I'm not being dishonest.
	I'm just telling the truth about what I know is a flawed perception.
	Right.
	Yeah, well, I think it comes down to the same through line whether we're talking politics, talking media, or talking comedy.
	It's just, it's interesting people often use the word my truth, but in this case it's someone trying to dictate it to someone else.
	Like, listen, comedy is comedy.
	You don't have to like it.
	It is entirely subjective.
	I understand that.
	There's a certain quality measurement.
	And I would put you right up there.
	And Nick DiPaolo, of course, as well.
	He was on the show recently.
	Nick's the funniest guy.
	He is so funny, and I don't think that he gets the credit he deserves just because he's sort of a, he's technology averse.
	Yeah.
	And he's also more conservative.
	And look, the reality is in entertainment, like look what they just did to Alex Jones.
	Look, lover, I hate Alex Jones.
	I get why people don't, I don't like a lot of the stuff he says.
	I don't like a lot of his dumb conspiracies, but he should be able to say whatever he wants.
	That frightens me when people's right to say stuff that I don't like or you don't like is taken away.
	It's crazy.
	That being said, we could put you in a carriage and you'd probably make a good baby crisis actor if we ever needed you to.
	You know, I would be happy to do that, too, because I can't get a gig doing anything else.
	So, look, if you need me to run in, oh my god, there's dipshit everywhere!
	I don't know what happened!
	That's how I would do it.
	Yes, exactly.
	I love how your voice, I think, always has a little bit of Cagney in it for some reason.
	I don't know what happened!
	Oh yeah, I don't know what happened, Shane.
	It was a problem, Shane.
	Baby Cagney.
	All right, this went off the rails.
	It is at Jim Norton, Hilarities in Cleveland.
	Highly recommend you go check him out on August 17th and 18th.
	JimNorton.com and the podcast is everywhere as long as iTunes and these other places still allow it.
	Jim, we gotta go.
	Thank you, sir.
	All right, thank you, buddy.
	I'll talk to you again.
	And now for Hopper Proverbs, sponsored exclusively by Mug Club.
	It is said that if you give a dog some cheeses, you feed him for a day.
	But if you give a dog a cow, I don't know how to make cheeses, but if I had a recipe and some thumbs, I probably could figure it out.
	Just join Mug Club so Steven can give Hopper more cheeses, because he has thumbs.
	Stay tuned for more Hopper Proverbs, sponsored by Mug Club.
	Stay tuned. We'll be right back.
	So, so
	so Thank you Ben Shapiro and Jim Norton.
	Uh Next week, incredible week of shows, and we're going to have Owen Benjamin here all week, taping some sketches.
	Going to be a lot of fun.
	And yes, we talked about it earlier, so we teased it, and it is with a heavy heart that actually, at Not-K-Jared, The character, as it were, will be retired after this program, Nakajiri.
	We'll be moving on to... I guess you say greener pastures.
	People always confuse that with taking behind the barn.
	No, no, greener pastures means good things.
	But let them know, you have some stuff going on.
	Yeah, there is a lovely missus in my life, and a lovely lady, and I will be joined by another lovely lady in just a few short months.
	Is it true?
	So, uh, I'm very excited.
	So you're really not gay?
	I've done some really not gay stuff.
	Honestly, let me clarify here, too, to be clear.
	It's not like NotGayJay was fired because he decided to have a kid.
	No, no, no.
	For those who don't know... Oh, you're pregnant?
	Oh, you're fired.
	Yes.
	There's exponential growth, obviously, with the show, and a lot of new pressures and expectations.
	And, listen, you just, I mean... The hours it takes...
	To put in the show is just pretty crazy and we work really darn hard and yeah, it's just a good time.
	Move on to making babies and there you go.
	Was never gay.
	A lot of people, by the way, tweet me at S Crowder the first episode that Not Gay Jared appeared.
	I don't even think I remember that.
	No, no, no.
	I think we talked about it this year sometime.
	Did we?
	I think we did.
	I dug it up like a couple of months ago and I don't remember which one it is.
	Rough guess.
	Yeah.
	And that just because, do you remember how it started?
	Yeah, you said, hey, I have a producer here, Gay Jared, what do you have to say?
	No, I said, who also happens to be gay.
	And I just said it as a joke because I think you had told me that gay guys come on to you quite a bit.
	All the time.
	Right.
	Apparently, I like your shoes is a common pickup line in H&M.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I get that all the time.
	I'm like, I was wearing flip flops.
	You're actually very fortunate that they use that as an opening.
	Often they don't even talk.
	I know, they don't even talk, they just escort me to the changing room.
	Clean you forward.
	And then after that, a lot of people started their own conspiracy as to whether you were gay or not, because you kept saying you weren't gay, and we said, okay, well, let's go with this, and the Not Gay Jared character was born, and you had to keep your missus under wraps for a long time.
	I was pretty sure it was under your contract!
	I think a few times on the show I accidentally said something about it.
	We actually bleeped it at times.
	References in the early days.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	In the early days it was out of my den in Michigan and we had no idea what we were doing.
	None at all.
	We were just, we were on radio.
	But it was back then, it was, you want to talk about sort of providential.
	The day Jared became equipped at producing this as a podcast was the day the station that carried us would no longer carry the show because of some of the jokes that we had made.
	Yeah.
	We're like, hey, let's try this video and let's try Thursday night instead of Friday morning at 6am.
	We're like, yeah, good.
	Because we're not, that's the only option.
	We had a producer who said, I'm not, yeah, you're jokes.
	We can't do this.
	And we're like, well, okay.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Yeah.
	And then they ended up carrying the show anyway that we produced.
	That we produced.
	Because it's crazy.
	Yeah.
	It was a weird, weird transition.
	It was weird.
	And then eventually they dropped it all together.
	So, it was still.
	Too many people.
	Well, no, that's because we didn't want to do three.
	That's how all the commercials too started.
	Remember, we just, we had all these local ads that would play.
	Yeah.
	And we were like, well, what can we do?
	And we just made stuff up for the first few.
	The first ones we used to do, if you remember, I think the first one we ever did
	was a fake emergency system warning.
	Yeah, that was very against the law.
	And apparently, that's like highly illegal.
	It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, Velociraptor warning.
	Yeah, a Lennon Dunham warning, Reese Witherspoon movie warning.
	And we were saved because it was, technically it never made air on terrestrial radio.
	But we could have gotten really screwed.
	Yeah, we could have.
	That and Dating Advice with Bill Cosby were the first commercials.
	Yep, those ones.
	Followed shortly by Dish of Insure.
	That's true.
	Jesse Ventura.
	It's funny, back then we bought the costume for Jesse Ventura.
	Like, oh, when we go to video.
	And we just never ended up doing it.
	Because it's a wrestling Speedo.
	It is.
	It takes some buy-in.
	Highly reflective, too.
	Not so great on green screen.
	I haven't quite invested in it yet.
	And that's where you met Gerald, of course, on the show.
	Yeah.
	We had some beers, and all of a sudden, about a beer and a half in, Jared's drunk.
	I'm gone.
	I was gone.
	It's true.
	Walking down the wall.
	And by the way, we are going to have a montage here of some Not Get Hurt best memories in just a minute.
	So what would you say your best memory is on the show?
	Oh, gosh.
	Probably dressed as a tranny, taking a dump on the Texas Capitol in the ladies' restroom.
	Wait, what?
	When did we do this?
	Right before you interviewed Wendy Davis.
	Oh, okay!
	I was like, that's not on tape!
	Actually, I'm pretty sure we do have tape.
	I'm pretty sure we have tape.
	Because, by the way, at that point, it just had a camera that was always running.
	We never thought we were going to get an interview with Wendy Davis.
	No.
	And then she's like, oh, transgender, come on up!
	Sometimes gifts happen.
	So I took a gift and I left a gift.
	That's funny.
	I remember that.
	I would say my most memorable, that we would probably, Utah was a big one because we wanted to put bullets in our brains because that was non-stop work, but it was one of the biggest things we'd ever done.
	We almost met up with the Hodgetwins while we were there.
	That's true, but we couldn't because they were doing shows.
	That was the first time we went.
	Yeah, that was really memorable.
	And then in line with kind of what you talked about on the Michigan Capitol, if you go back and we did the I'm Just a Bill Transgender.
	Oh, yeah.
	How many days did I work on that dumb costume?
	It was you and your wife.
	I made it from scratch.
	With bed foam.
	Bed foam and sharpies.
	And we didn't have a green screen, so we had to put it down in my living room.
	And we cheated it, where some of the shots you see are green screen, and then some of them were actually shot on the Lansing Capitol steps, which was a far drive for us at the time.
	And while we were taping it, a state senator?
	A super far left Democratic lady.
	A super far left Black lady came up and said, But that's great how you educate and she's like, can I take a picture?
	Yeah, they were like, please do.
	Please do!
	And she uploaded it to Instagram.
	We retweeted her.
	Yes.
	And that was our first.
	It was great.
	It was an accidental troll job.
	Wow.
	It was.
	Before we did, I think it was before we did any of the serious undercover stuff.
	She hates you by the way.
	Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does.
	I got a present for you.
	That's right, you got a present for me.
	Which is terrible because I didn't get you anything.
	That's okay.
	I really hope it's spiders.
	Yeah, so I'm a little bit nervous because this is not typically the way we do things.
	Those brown ones, I hear those are fun.
	Alright, uh, I'm using a knife here, so if something goes wrong for those who are listening, audio.
	Yeah, apparently, I didn't have any wrapping tape, so I used boxing tape and wrapped... It's very considerate of you, but this is a terrible wrapping.
	It is pretty terrible.
	Well, I thought, it was a little gloomy outside, I'm like, it could rain, so I wrapped it completely with tape.
	Alright.
	Probably could have put it in the bag.
	This is all tape!
	Oh my gosh.
	This is all tape!
	We're making progress.
	Oh, thank you very much!
	For people who can't see, it's...
	Here, this is the original Stretch Armstrong.
	Oh, nice!
	It's very touching, but I'm not going to cry because I told myself I wouldn't.
	Don't cry!
	Don't do it!
	I did it before being on air.
	Got it out of the way.
	And I took some bourbon.
	Some people it turns them emotional.
	No, this is because for people who don't remember, we couldn't afford the original Stretch Armstrong.
	We couldn't afford the creepy crawler.
	So I had the mini Stretch Armstrong and it broke very quickly.
	That was very thoughtful of you.
	I really do appreciate it.
	And we are for sure going to miss you quite a bit here at the show.
	Your size fours will be impossible.
	But we do have a montage to get to.
	And by the way, I keep wanting to say not gay, Jared.
	Jared!
	Won't be doing this, but you might come back every now and then for sketches and stuff like that.
	Yeah, I'll be around.
	I will not be a stranger.
	Yeah, he's not going to be a complete stranger, and we do... Some college dates or some... all kinds of things I would like to be around for.
	Yeah, I forgot about all the college dates.
	It's great, but it's like, it is just very, very difficult.
	This ain't the Ben Shapiro show, okay?
	It's like you have Tranny Bane coming out, and motor scooters, and smoke machines, and lights, and it's like, oh, we gotta do this again.
	Champagne to use on segways.
	Yes, yes.
	We don't have the budget for it, but if we did, that would be awesome.
	But it's hard to fill your shoes, but we are, you do, this is kind of a thing like with fighters.
	You have to put the next guy over the top.
	We are, there's a, you're passing the torch.
	I am passing the torch.
	To our very own, it's actually good, because I always wanted, we always wanted to hire a black guy, and we had black guys who applied.
	You can make a lot more jokes.
	Yes, jokes category just expands. Yes, and we had a lot of black applicants for but they weren't actually video adept
	They wanted to write true, but actually you know him as as key grip Garrett, but he's a quarter black. He's quarter
	black so yeah, not gay Jared the the seat I guess is uh
	is he's gonna be leaving the last time there not gay Jared and
	There we go to come on in is key grip Garrett who is a quarter black
	You've helped us of course with some hidden cameras, and you are right you can confirm this yes
	I can confirm my leave Jim Norton earlier Yeah, that was based on that. Oh god. Not a real
	cut to the montage What would you do if I say?
	attitude Would you stand up and walk out on me?
	Lay out on me your ears and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key
	Oh baby, how do you like it?
	All I need is my body I said I'm gonna get high
	I'm gonna get high Thanks for watching!
	Thanks for having me!
	Me so happy!
	Hey guys!
	Hey guys! I beat a girl! Oh shit! Ah! You can call me now, but I'm not going to be a
	You call me not your daddy.
	Okay.
	And this is my esteemed colleague, Oliver Barnsley.

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