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May 2, 2016 - Louder with Crowder

02:13:11

#72 UMASS AND TRIGGLYPUFF! Austin Petersen, Dean Cain, and Andrew Klavan | Louder With Crowder

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	This is a trigger warning.
	If you need a trigger warning, you're on the wrong podcast.
	This has been a trigger warning.
	You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
	Politics.
	Civility?
	How about honesty in this country, folks?
	Entertainment.
	I don't like entertainment.
	And a whole bunch of other stuff.
	It's about having a healthy body image.
	If you have a very unhealthy body, you should have a horrible body image.
	Not a big home improvement market in Detroit.
	We are definitely going to get letters.
	You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
	You're a strange animal.
	You're getting louder with Crowder.
	But you're a strange animal.
	I got to follow.
	Oh, I'm in the speedy to sound.
	Glad to be with you.
	You know that sound.
	That sound means that it's the sound of the weekend.
	The sound doesn't mean that it's the sound of the weekend.
	It simply is.
	What are we?
	We simply are.
	I am your host, Stephen Crowder.
	Producing with me in video studio with the live stream, as always, is NotGayJared.
	You can follow him at Twitter, on Twitter, at NotGayJared.
	I fulfill my legal obligations to draw your own conclusions.
	Are we good?
	We're good.
	We are.
	We simply are.
	Just relax for a bit.
	Just take it all in.
	Okay.
	Not KJR is an ass, therefore he is.
	These are the questions that we ponder.
	Big show today.
	We have Austin Peterson running for libertarian candidate, running for office, presidential office of the United States.
	Dean Cain, Superman.
	Dean Cain.
	Dean Cain.
	And Andrew Klavan.
	Andrew Klavan.
	A lot of news this week, of course.
	Carly Fiorina announced his VP pick, so we'll get into that.
	We're going to get into all the news, but...
	Okay.
	Let's start this off here.
	Every now and then...
	I make the news.
	That happens.
	You know, usually we comment on the news.
	I write jokes about the news.
	And every now and then, I am in the news.
	And that is what happened this week for people.
	I don't want...
	You know, listen, let's just drop the whole facade of false humility, okay?
	The rant went viral.
	Over a million plays.
	I was at University of Massachusetts Amherst.
	With Milo Yiannopoulos and Christina Hoff Summers to talk about political correctness.
	They were going to lecture, I was going to do some stand-up, and then we were going to do a Q&A. So this whole thing went viral.
	A lot of people haven't watched the whole hour and a half panel.
	They just saw me go off, kind of go nuclear for about four minutes.
	So I want to give you some behind-the-scenes kind of footage.
	I was pretty tense before this event because there were a lot of threats.
	You said, don't talk to me.
	I need to be all consumed, was your word.
	I don't remember that specifically.
	You're too consumed to remember that.
	That's what happens.
	You're going into an ideological war zone.
	We had a lot of threats.
	People saying literal blood will be spilled.
	That's what you saw on Facebook.
	And whatever people saw publicly, there was a lot more behind the scenes going on.
	You may not see.
	There was a lot of security going on.
	So there's that component.
	And then there's a component of just wanting to get your point across.
	So, the rant happens.
	It went viral.
	But I want to clarify a few things.
	I mean, the tension was you could cut it with a knife.
	First off, the rant, a lot of people thought that my rant was falsely aimed at who has now become infamously tagged as Trigglypuff.
	For those of you who missed her, this is Trigglypuff.
	Take your hate, I'm a devil!
	And energy lost.
	God.
	Talk about perpetuating the original stereotype of no stamina.
	I was not yelling the androgynous amoeba.
	The person I was singling out was not Trigglypuff.
	However, what you didn't see in the rant was when we came out, very first thing when they introduced us, before we did our opening remarks, they introduced us, we come on stage.
	I did give Trigley Puff, I came out, first thing I see is this giant mass and a couple of friends, I think, giving me the finger as soon as I walk out before I've even said anything.
	So, I did give Trigley Puff this salute.
	Next, conservative comedian and host of the popular podcast Louder with Crowder, Stephen Crowder.
	Now, I've never done that before.
	It's not very Christian of me.
	Not Gay Jared was watching with his friend, and he said, oh, yeah, you haven't seen Steven do stand-up.
	And then you said, I came out.
	I came out like, this is not Steven's stand-up.
	This is Steven pissed.
	This is not Steven's stand-up.
	Did you see that, though?
	Did you see what happened with that?
	What happened?
	Did you see that?
	You didn't catch it.
	If you watch it this way, you can catch it a little better.
	Turn down for what?
	Okay.
	Well played.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	In case someone missed it.
	We've got to be clipping along, because I have all these clips here to show people.
	For the first time, I actually have a show prep.
	You're hearing this shuffling.
	I'm doing like a little Rush Limbaugh where I shuffle papers, but I'm not really using them.
	I actually need this, because there was so much that happened that night.
	It was like a two-hour event.
	Well, hurry up.
	I need a Kleenex.
	Okay.
	So...
	I did give Trigglypuff the finger.
	However, the person I was specifically addressing, the androgynous little amoeba who was looking to get laid, was actually, and this is, you'll see him here, he asked a question later on, it was this young gentleman for clarity.
	Yeah, I wanted to ask if you guys were aware of the things that you said before about Islam, and I wonder if you guys are aware of of how that contributes to acts of violence against Muslim people and Islamophobia, but you kind of already answered it, so let me just say, fuck Trump and Black Lives Matter.
	And, sir, I have a question!
	Why do you feel compelled to defend an ideology that would throw you off a roof for looking like Rachel Maddow?
	Oh, and by...
	It's true.
	By the way.
	By the way.
	So that was the guy I was going off on, because he was really, he had it in for me specifically, because of the, some people were there for Milo, they were mad about the gay stuff, even though he's gay, and then some people were there specifically angry about my Islam stuff, if you look at the Q&A. Well, that guy, he just, it was like a sketch.
	I know, we couldn't write a sketch.
	I couldn't write a sketch.
	F-Total Drop, Black Lives Matter.
	Woo!
	I adore all the rules!
	Woo!
	So, this was the guy who I was going off on.
	Now, here's something that's really important.
	People don't understand freedom of speech.
	These kids think genuinely, well, we're exercising our freedom of speech.
	No, they're not.
	They are not exercising their freedom of speech.
	They continually yelled out, you know, when the moderator would say, hey, these are our guests.
	They're not our guests!
	They're not our guests!
	Get back off the stage!
	Which is ironic, because these kids don't even believe that they should be paying for school at all, but they believe that they should have a say on who somebody else pays as a guest.
	So, to give you an idea as to the entitlement here...
	That's the atmosphere.
	They weren't even yelling out questions.
	We were going to a Q&A. They simply wanted to shout out any opinion that didn't agree with theirs.
	I mean, it was just yelling racist, homophobe, transphobe.
	It was all much louder, I'm sure, there than we were able to hear on this video because he was just picking up on you guys' mics.
	Exactly.
	So it was much louder and disruptive.
	And that's the big difference, too, is I'm a comedian.
	It's one thing to go up and lecture, and Christina Hoff Summers and Milo are great at that.
	I've been doing stand-up since 17.
	So at a stand-up special, you have a mic on the audience just because you want to register the laughs.
	And that was one thing where they went up and they just couldn't.
	Milo was quick.
	Christina Hoff Summers couldn't get through her speech, couldn't get through it because they kept yelling.
	They kept interrupting.
	It was so loud.
	She couldn't even hear herself.
	So if you hear her stumbling over her words, it's not because she's inarticulate.
	I couldn't even hear them a lot.
	You hear the microphone, but the sound's going this way, and we're talking, so I couldn't even hear a lot of the questions.
	That's how loud and disruptive they were.
	So it's important for you to know that so you have the context that we didn't just go out and drop the A-bomb on these people.
	And, listen, I understand that it's easy to feel bad for Fat Trigly Puff, right?
	Listen, she probably wasn't treated very well.
	She was probably bullied.
	I understand that.
	However, You get to a certain point where she's become absolutely everything that she claims to hate.
	She is the bully.
	She may be fat and unattractive.
	She is fat and unattractive.
	And people get mad because they think that automatically makes her the underdog.
	She's not only a bully where someone maybe said something mean in a woman's restroom.
	She wants to try and prevent people like me, Milo, Christina Hoff Summers, from being able to make a living.
	Simply because we have an opinion.
	For every protest you see like this, there's 20 behind the scenes where these people get folks fired, they boycott them, they get them banned so that they can't collect their speaking fees and make a living.
	So, that's where I start to lose the empathy.
	These people are absolute monsters.
	Both in the figurative and the physical sense.
	I get it.
	Believe me, the irony is not lost on me.
	Okay, we're going to have to go even past the breaks.
	So I wanted to explain that so it doesn't seem like we're going to be the mean triggering people when you see how the Q&A unfolded.
	Jared, let's go to...
	Yeah, right away, right away, I was asked on rape culture and was lobbed at me that I was a rape apologist.
	So here's something that we had to answer and shut people down.
	Here's one of the very first questions regarding rape culture.
	What?
	We rig the deck against young boys, and they're more confused and angry than ever.
	And people coming out and implying that all of these boys are somehow racist or sexist or perpetuating rape culture, you are going to screw up men for generations to come.
	And this androgynous, spineless amoeba here who wants to get with the social justice warrior drum circle...
	Listen, I'm not talking about some false sense of machismo.
	Why don't we start off by talking about families, by talking about getting married and staying with your wife, by talking about how to raise your kids properly.
	Let's teach young boys to be men, but oh no, we can't do that.
	That'd be a moral judgment.
	You want to fix whatever the actual rape statistic is, and it's not one in five?
	You need to start getting judgmental and teach young boys how to become men, but you don't want to do that because it's judgmental.
	By the way, yeah, the rape statistic is not really one in five.
	Not even close.
	Not even close.
	It used to be one in four, and then they just subtly like, oh, we've got to scale this back.
	Well, let's do it gradually.
	Gradual steps.
	Let's do baby steps.
	We'll go one in five.
	So only 50 years from now we'll get close to the actual rape statistic.
	Well, because one statistic just had it recently was like one in 54.
	Christina Hoff Summers was talking about it, and she says, that sounds too drastic.
	It's probably somewhere in the middle.
	Well, they weren't even trying to get the statistic when they came up with that number.
	They got the number from some random questionnaire thing that they just kind of estimated.
	I watched the whole video on it, and it was interesting.
	It came from not even a real study about that.
	I appreciate your zeal, but that is not a substantiated argument.
	I kind of watched a video on it, and I'm pretty...
	No, no, no.
	Bring me your source.
	I would bring you my source.
	Bring me your source.
	I think you're correct, but I don't want our audience to think that that is our standard of burden of proof.
	That's mine.
	How quick is the next clip?
	Is it quick enough to...
	No, we've got 30 seconds.
	So we can't play it?
	Nah.
	Okay.
	Well, we'll come back.
	We have a bunch more to play.
	And then we have Austin Peterson running for Libertarian candidate after...
	Listen.
	It is an ideological fight out there.
	And that's what this was.
	You could really feel that tension.
	We shut up so you don't have to.
	Stay tuned.
	Everybody was kung fu fighting Those kids were fastest like me But they fought with expert timing.
	We take you now to a live debate between John Stussel and social justice warrior Schuyler.
	You see, the thing about free college is when you add up the taxes and the incentives and the financial grants, it isn't free.
	Hey man, that's hate speech!
	Now, if you want to get down to the nitty-gritty of the logic of the situation...
	F*** you!
	Get off the stage!
	I'm just trying to...
	You're a racist and a bigot and you need to...
	I f***ing hate you!
	Listen, it's a matter of policy and when it comes down to...
	Don't give a shit about your policy!
	You need to check your white privilege!
	I... F*** at home you die!
	We'll update you as these debates unfold.
	All right, glad to be back.
	Man, I hope I don't get sick again.
	A few weeks ago I had that drip going on.
	The problem is when you get sick, you just can't get out from under it when you're traveling so much.
	I've got to cut back on some of this.
	Especially when it involves going in with the pond scum buckets that are the social justice protesters at University of Methodist Amherst.
	Important note though, before we continue with this, there's something like 29,000 students.
	At UMass.
	That's pretty significant.
	Yeah, so I think there might have been somewhere between, I've heard, as low as 700, as high as 1,000 people at this venue, and maybe an eighth, a quarter to an eighth of them were yelling and protesting.
	So don't get this twisted in thinking that this is mainstream.
	These people are not mainstream.
	They simply scream the loudest, and they have a very sympathetic media because they're on board with the cause.
	Just like there's a great book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to the 60s.
	When you think 60s, you think flower power hippies.
	You know what the best-selling albums were in the 60s?
	Show tunes and country albums.
	Yeah.
	It was never mainstream.
	The hippie stuff was never mainstream.
	Most people hated them and wanted to get to class.
	So when people look back 20, 30 years from now, they're going to try and make it seem like this was the area of social justice equality.
	It's not true, just like it's never been true that the hippies dominated the mainstream American cultural sphere in the 60s and early 70s.
	So, alright, sidebar.
	We'll go back to kind of going through.
	For those who haven't watched the full video, we have it up at louderwithcrader.com, the whole one-and-a-half-hour panel debate with Milo, who was great, of course, and Christina Hoff Summers, who was stellar.
	I'm trying to think.
	The next question we have was...
	Is this the guy who talks about the...
	It's the hate speech.
	Oh, the hate speech.
	We're going to do a video on this next week.
	Because hate speech, by the way, is a figment of your...
	It doesn't exist.
	People just...
	They couldn't believe...
	We're not going to run the clip, but I said, I just don't believe in hate speech.
	It's not a thing.
	It's not a thing.
	Next question.
	There isn't...
	Hate speech is not a thing.
	Bye.
	And then this guy was so triggered...
	Sometimes people get more triggered...
	By the short answer.
	We're trained through media to try and be verbose and flowery and take your...
	Let's be honest, Mylonopoulos can take his time with some answers and it's wonderful to watch.
	But sometimes you mess up that rhythm with a staccato.
	Boom.
	There is no hate speech.
	And the guy's brain just...
	He took about three hours to compose this question.
	Right.
	It took about three hours to compose this question.
	Next.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	Everything that guy said...
	Yeah.
	So this was then how he descended into madness.
	We don't believe in hate speech.
	We answered your question.
	Leave.
	Who was beat up because of what I said?
	Your friend was beat up because of something that I said?
	That's what we call being unable to substantiate an argument, Mr.
	Tanktop.
	Get out.
	We have to move on to other questions.
	We'll take our next question here.
	Shame on your delts.
	Shame on your stylist, darling.
	I love how...
	First thing I thought when I saw it, I'm like, I love how you both, you and Milo, insulted the guy.
	But it was clearly the same insult from a straight guy and a gay guy.
	Exactly.
	Shame on your delts.
	Shame on your stylist, darling.
	Shame on your stylist, darling.
	It's the exact same insult.
	Yeah, it's just fantastic.
	Yeah, just one is from a straight man.
	By the way, I didn't know Tom from Blink-182 circa 2003 was still hanging around campus.
	He's still on campus.
	I don't know.
	He just can't get enough of it.
	Someone's a pedophile.
	So, uh...
	A lot of bro tanks.
	People were commenting on that.
	If you go here, I was surprised as to how many bro tank tops there were.
	That guy just couldn't handle it.
	Shame on your delts.
	You can turn that into a meme or a t-shirt.
	People really seemed to like it.
	Something that was a big irony, for people who talked about rape culture and patriarchy and trying to silence women, they missed one key irony, and when I brought it up, they certainly weren't too comfortable.
	Jared, roll clip.
	They don't need wild, hysterical exaggeration.
	Truth is on the side of compassion.
	One irony here.
	Okay, listen, listen.
	Social justice left us here, okay?
	Let's just point out an irony.
	The only people right now who are trying to intimidate and silence and threaten a woman here are you.
	Um, gosh, I look more angry than I thought my face did.
	Yeah, you did.
	You did not look pleased.
	A lot of people ask me if I have restless leg or if I was on cocaine.
	I was just so angry.
	I think it was just that and the shoes that threw everybody off.
	You know, I've worn those shoes since I've known you.
	I know, I know.
	I've never not worn those shoes.
	Lots of comments, lots of comments.
	And those are the only shoes I can wear after my knee surgery because they're slip-ons.
	So, that was a big irony.
	They were just yelling out, you know, ah, bitch!
	Things like that at this woman, and I'm like, bitch!
	And then yelling out, you're sexist!
	Like, what?
	You just called a woman who could be your grandmother a bitch.
	I hope you die.
	So, you know what?
	I comfort myself.
	This is really wrong.
	I've talked about this.
	You know how people say, like, they'll try and sort of console their kids and say, hey, you know what?
	You never know what can happen when something is bad.
	For me, with people like this, I console myself.
	I say, I don't know if anyone else does this.
	Tweet me at S. Crowder.
	I say, maybe they'll get hit by a car.
	Maybe.
	Anything can happen.
	This was an answer to someone I asked, what is political correctness?
	We're going to do a video on this next week, too.
	Roll clip.
	So you know what?
	At this point, just keep the cameras running.
	These people don't want to hear any differing opinions.
	That's what political correctness is.
	You want to know what political correctness is?
	Look around and listen.
	These people don't have arguments.
	They just yell out racist.
	And they call the gay guy here, who has a fetish for black dudes, a racist homophobe.
	Milo does like the black dudes.
	We have to move on pretty quickly because we have Austin Peterson coming in.
	Here's one thing where even Milo and Christina Hoff Summers got uncomfortable.
	This is when they started coming a few lineups, a few questions in a row in the lineup regarding Islam.
	Milo was actually, it was the first time I saw him deal with Islam, and I was really proud of him.
	He handled it well.
	If he did that, though, then I pulled out a double-barreled hair-trigger crap machine gun and fanned the hammer.
	This was the answer that really triggered them.
	My problem is not, of course, there are plenty of great Muslims out there.
	Not every Muslim is a terrorist.
	It's important for people to note that.
	Muhammad was.
	And I have a problem with that.
	If you look and read about Muhammad's life, he killed, he called for the deaths of Christians and Jews.
	I have a problem with that.
	And you know what?
	That's okay.
	Just like atheists have a problem with Christianity.
	At this point, we'll conclude our question and answer section.
	He looks like he's...
	Oh my god!
	The lady in the jab is rushing me!
	So this was the whole...
	It was just constant yelling, right?
	These people did not want to have a discussion.
	So let me bring you to the final point that we answered that resulted in the biggest, I think, support of the night.
	This is the takeaway.
	You just yelled out that all of us were racist.
	And then you asked a question.
	And then you asked a question.
	And the question was...
	There you go.
	It sounded better when you were yelling it with a chorus of backdrops.
	Let me explain.
	Okay, can I answer your question?
	Can I answer your question?
	Do you want an answer?
	Would you like an answer?
	No, you don't know the answer, sweetheart.
	Let me answer it for you.
	Listen, you have, right here on this panel, you have a gay British Trump supporter, okay?
	You have a lifelong registered Democrat, open feminist, who's not a third-wave feminist, and you have a French-Canadian Christian conservative.
	So you may ask, why is there only white people?
	Because the only diversity you don't care about is that of intellectual diversity.
	Right.
	All right.
	I think it will.
	Yeah?
	It seemed...
	It was better than last week, I thought.
	I thought it would progress in the right direction.
	That's good.
	Pretty energetic.
	What's going on in this spot?
	How much time do I have?
	Um...
	I've got less than a minute.
	Hey, you need to wear the shirt, by the way.
	What shirt?
	Uh, the...
	How far last week?
	That's the whole thing.
	Every time someone has to wear it as branding, you have to wear the shirt.
	Now I'm going to wear the other shirts we designed.
	The shirt's dirty, isn't it?
	You have to just plan for it.
	You have to wear it once a week for a couple of hours.
	Just plan to wear the shirt.
	Put the dirty shirt back on.
	What are you complaining about?
	It looks good on you.
	It's a good-looking shirt.
	It does look pretty good.
	Everyone Okay.
	Time to get serious.
	Time to class it up because we have somebody running for national office.
	One could say the office running for the nomination of the Libertarian Party.
	I just forgot the site.
	I'm sorry.
	Austin Peterson.
	Austin, what is that site again?
	So it's austinforpresident.com.
	Austinforpresident.com.
	Gosh, in my head I was going to Austin Peterson for President, and we don't know what kind of a site that could be on the Internet, so we want to make sure they get it right.
	Austin, thank you for coming on the show.
	So, Libertarian Party.
	This is a big deal.
	We had Julia Barofsky on and she was talking about you.
	I hate to say this, not that you're an underdog, but it was kind of assumed Gary Johnson and she was the one who really brought up your name and spoke highly of you.
	What's it like in 2016 with this crazy election running for the nomination for the Libertarian Party?
	Well, it's not bad.
	I'm actually positioned really well because, unfortunately, it looks as if Trump is probably going to win the Republican nomination, and unfortunately, it looks like Hillary might win the Democratic nomination, which would mean that I would basically be the only pro-life, pro-liberty, pro-constitutional candidate on the ballot.
	So if I can win the nomination of my party, I think that we may see an exodus from the two major parties looking for someone who represents American values in a broader way.
	Okay, so two questions, obviously.
	I gotta go in with this one.
	Do you really think a Libertarian candidate has a shot at winning?
	It depends, and there's a lot of different fights to be won, of course.
	Winning the White House is the big one, and that's the longest shot, but one of the biggest fights that we can win is to get into the national debates, and if we can get a candidate who, at a minimum, can win 5% of the national vote, that puts us as a major party status, and that would shake up and revolutionize American politics, because it gives us ballot access, because we have to spend millions of dollars just to get on the ballot across the country.
	So I'm looking at lots of different fights That I can win.
	The big fight is obviously the one that I would love to win, but I would be just absolutely ecstatic if I could double the national vote total.
	Historically, the LP has only gotten 1%, so I think that I can bring us a little bit down the road towards the kinds of ideas and policies that I advocate for.
	Okay, I want to go back to that.
	Now, you said pro-life, and Julie Borowski talked about that.
	Do you have issues with that with the Libertarian Party?
	Because I know they can be pretty split.
	You have people who are personally pro-life, but say, well, I don't want to touch policy.
	And then again, people who, listen, if they see it as murder, it's murder.
	And that is the role of the federal government to stop murder.
	So what's that like running on the national platform for the Libertarian Party being pro-life?
	I am a federalist, so I think that murder is a state issue.
	It should be a state issue.
	It's not the federal issue.
	I think that if I were running for governor, would I sign a bill that would outlaw abortions?
	Absolutely.
	But as president of the United States, I think that the best thing you can do is to make a moral case against abortion.
	And libertarians believe in personal responsibility.
	There's nothing that'll get you in trouble faster than to tell people that you should be personally responsible.
	Because when you say you're pro-choice, well, you do have a choice not to have sex.
	So the question is, at what point do we start talking about people having a choice?
	So I will be a moral leader against abortion, and I will make the case for why I think that we should move towards a society that is more pro-life.
	The problem is that when you start talking about something like the consistent pro-life ethic, then you have to start talking about the death penalty.
	And the conservatives who love me about being pro-life for the babies start getting angry because I'm pro-life all the way across the board.
	That means ending the death penalty as well.
	Right.
	Well, I want to go back to that.
	So you said a federalist.
	I'm much more in line with that.
	We had Julie Barofsky on.
	I talked about that.
	I said, listen, I think drugs are bad personally.
	Leave it to the states.
	And I think some libertarians were mad that I said, yeah, people don't like it in their state.
	They have the right to say no in my state.
	And a lot of libertarians get mad at that.
	So I think we're probably more in line there.
	You think the federal government should punt on murder?
	I know as far as states deciding on whether they believe in the death penalty or not, but wouldn't that fall under the role of the federal government for murder to be illegal across the board?
	I don't think so.
	I don't think the federal government is going to be able to punish that.
	I think that the federal government should have a very limited role.
	I agree, too, but murder seems like it should fall under that purview.
	Murder, illegal, bad.
	Seems like most libertarians, even anarchists, would say, yeah, that's one of the things that we think government should have across the board.
	Murder, illegal.
	Yeah, well, define murder, because some people say that all murders should be punished the same way, but there's a reason why we have murder in the first degree and murder in the second degree.
	So if you look at abortion, for example, some people would say that the abortifacients, for example, RU486, the morning after pill, would be murder.
	So I would probably disagree with them on that.
	But in terms of how you should prosecute it, I think that it's best prosecuted at the state level.
	I'm talking about prosecuting.
	I'm talking about murder.
	Does the federal government have the right to say murder is illegal, period?
	Or do you think that if a state wants to say, no, we want murder illegal in Arkansas, who knows what they do in Arkansas, that they have the right to do that?
	The question really does lie in enforcement.
	I think the problem is that if you try and say, oh, murder is illegal across the board, well, then what kind of authoritarian government would you create in order to ensure that every single state is complying?
	The only way that you could go in legally and say, okay, constitutionally the federal government can come in is to use the clause that states that the government shall ensure a Republican form of governance in every state.
	So you've got to start broadening the reach of the federal government.
	You've got to start expanding the power of the federal government.
	And that kind of stuff makes me very nervous.
	So again, I think that it should be best decided at the federal law.
	Not to discuss prosecuting, though.
	I'm not talking about prosecuting.
	Different states have different methods of prosecuting, like you said, kinds of murder.
	But murder across the board is entirely illegal.
	So I'm just saying that because I know people who might be considering you could consider that alarming, where it's like, well, hold on a second.
	Because a lot of libertarians say, well, no, of course we think the government should outlaw murder, stealing, any crime that hurts anybody else.
	That falls under the legitimate role of federal government and then everything else to the states.
	I want to make it really clear here.
	Are you talking about prosecuting or does the federal government have the authority to say, no, no states can make murder legal?
	I don't really think the federal government needs to be getting involved in telling the states what they need to prosecute or what is murder or what isn't murder.
	That's the problem.
	Because when you say something like, oh, this is murder, well, then you have people who will say, oh, well, chemtrails are murder.
	Or vaccines are murder.
	And it all relies on what you define as murder.
	So when you say, is the morning after pill murder, I would say it's probably not.
	But the question is, what role does the federal government play?
	So yeah, you can say broadly, you can say all you want and all the beautiful language and words, yes, ban murder across the board.
	But it all relies on the definition of how that is enforced.
	And that is where the rubber hits the road.
	Right.
	I'm talking about, you know, 99% of what people would agree on murder.
	I'm not talking about getting into the pro-life issue, because it seems like it gets difficult to get into the pro-life issue if we don't say, yeah, a guy stabbed his wife and her husband in their sleep, and that's murder.
	And one state says...
	We don't know.
	I mean, do you want to give them the power to define what is manslaughter?
	Do you want to give them the power to define what is a DUI? Do you want to give them the power to say what is the minimum drinking age that should be across every state?
	The problem is it always relies on enforcement.
	It always comes down to what the federal government's role is going to be.
	And to me, the federal government's role should be very limited.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Well, I don't know if I would agree with you on that on the issue of murder.
	I'm not talking about getting into pro-life yet.
	But okay.
	So you talk about getting more votes into the Libertarian Party.
	How do you...
	I want to ask you this.
	How do you feel about the two-party system?
	And do you see the value in it compared to, say, like a parliamentary system?
	Or, you know, to avoid the quagmire that we have right now, like you said, in the Republican Party, right?
	You might have Donald Trump win, who can't get above that 37% ceiling of the vote.
	You know, the reason the two-party system exists, and it's not perfect...
	Is to avoid that in general.
	Is there some value there, or does it need to be scrapped altogether?
	I think that there's something to be said for a parliamentary system.
	In Britain, for example, they have question time for their prime minister.
	I would love to see President Obama have to stand up in front of a Republican Congress where they just scream at him and ask him questions, and they're able to get answers from him.
	And I think there's some value there.
	So we can take the best of the systems and combine them.
	So do I see some value in the two-party system?
	Only in that it does create a quagmire.
	I guess I'm pro-quagmire in a sense.
	And if you're for a limited government, then you have to understand that the way that the Constitution was written, it did end up with a two-party system, but also that it stopped people's ambitions.
	It slows things down.
	It slows down legislation from being passed so that the whims of the masses would not come in and change the system overnight.
	So when people talk about gridlock in Washington, I start saying, well, yeah, absolutely.
	We want that gridlock because we don't want them passing all of their evil plans.
	No, I agree with you, and that's one of those things we've talked about, where it's really nice to throw out the word and say, we need to stop being politically divided.
	We need to unite.
	What if I don't want to unite with you?
	What if I don't want to unite with you with mandating health insurance?
	What if I don't want to unite with you with protecting partial birth abortion?
	Why?
	Why should we hold hands and sing we are the world when I have nothing in common with you as far as values?
	And I don't know why.
	It's just been thrown out as a talking point.
	No one believes it.
	Barack Obama's been the most divisive president ever.
	But everyone just says, oh, we should be united.
	So I think we're kindred spirits there where you don't want to unite with jackasses.
	No, I don't.
	The question is, what form of government do we have here in the United States?
	Most people think, oh, well, the United States is a democracy.
	That's actually not the case.
	We're a constitutional republic with some limited democratic aspects.
	And I say limited democratic aspects because the Electoral College is not a democracy.
	The question here is, how do we protect individual rights?
	The answer is that we are supposed to protect some things you don't have a right to vote on.
	Whenever somebody says, oh, you have a right to vote, you have a right to vote.
	Well, do you have a right to vote to take away my Second Amendment rights?
	No.
	You don't have a right to vote to take away my free speech.
	So there are certain intrinsic natural rights that citizens have in this constitutional republic that no one has the right to vote on.
	So when we talk about unifying or we talk about all coming together for bipartisanship, well, I have to throw the monkey wrench in there.
	And that's what I'm trying to do as a libertarian, is to try and throw some monkey wrenches in the gears to try and stop this ship of statism.
	Because truly, I think we are a minority.
	Honestly, I think that the masses now are trending heavily socially Democrat.
	And that's why I praise the founders for this constitutional republic, because this means that people like yourself and myself shouldn't be railroaded by things like Obamacare.
	We're not a single Republican voted for it.
	Well, that's also important to note.
	Because I hear this a lot where people go, oh, you know, if Republicans fought as vehemently against Obama as they do against Trump, we wouldn't have him.
	Or Republicans didn't do a damn thing about Obamacare.
	Well, hold on a second.
	I was there.
	They did fight against Obama, and he had the ability to do whatever he wanted for a while.
	No Republicans voted for Obamacare.
	So even though you're a libertarian, and I would agree with you, listen, I think the Republican Party is broken and there are pansies there who need to be ejected.
	We can both acknowledge there still is a contrast on some of those issues, right?
	It's not entirely basically needing to be flushed down the drain.
	It depends.
	Of course, the Republicans always talk a good game about limited government, but when's the last time that we saw a Republican actually follow through?
	There are some...
	Well, voting against Obamacare, like you said.
	I mean, I would say that's at least a contrast there, where if people just want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, well, hold on a second, not a single one supporting what's become a disaster.
	I give them credit.
	But who was the Supreme Court judge that codified it forever?
	So it was the Republicans pick.
	I know, I get it, but I'm saying there is some credit to be given there, right?
	Shame.
	Absolutely.
	I love Mike Lee.
	I love Rand Paul.
	I love Justin Amash and Thomas Massey.
	There's a lot of great Republicans, and I hope that they will quit their party and join the Libertarian Party.
	Do you really want them to quit, though?
	Because, like you said, you want to get that awareness raised right now as a percentage of the electorate.
	But do you really want all the Republicans to quit right now before that transition, which may or may not take place, has taken place?
	Because, I mean, they are giving you some cover as well.
	If they just go away, you don't have a shot at raising the Libertarian Party.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I don't want them to go away.
	I want them to stick in politics.
	Obviously, I'd love them to join my party.
	I'd love for one of them to be on my ticket with me.
	That'd be fantastic.
	But if there was perhaps an electromagnetic pulse and somehow Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump died and I've won by default, then you'd have Austin Peterson as president.
	You'd want people like Rand Paul and Mike Lee and Ted Cruz to write the proper legislation to send it to me to sign.
	So yeah, I don't want them to quit.
	I just want them to work a little closer with libertarians on our agendas.
	So you just mentioned Ted Cruz.
	I know not perfect in the eyes of libertarians, but would you say he's one of the better Republicans, one of the good guys in the Republican Party?
	Yeah, sure.
	Okay.
	So if you weren't running for the Libertarian Party and you were someone who's like, well, I have to vote Republican, and right now it's down to Trump or Cruz.
	I know you have to go a long way here.
	This is a stretch.
	You would go Cruz over Trump.
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	Yeah, Cruz is a sincere, true conservative.
	Where Cruz and I differ, it's much different than where I differ with Donald Trump.
	But I'm an old boy.
	I understand how politics works, and I know what Donald Trump has built for himself, and I understand how the machine works.
	So I see that we are going to probably get Donald Trump.
	That's why I'm here.
	I'm the backup plan for you guys, so that you can cast your vote for somebody you actually want.
	We want to talk more about that after the break.
	Austin Peterson, petersonforpresident.com.
	This is interesting.
	Stay tuned.
	tune ladder with crowder we take you now to a live debate between john stossel and social justice warrior schuyler See, the thing about free college is when you add up the taxes and the incentives and the financial grants, it isn't free.
	Hey man, that's hate speech!
	Well, if you want to get down to the nitty gritty of the logic of the situation...
	F*** you!
	Get off the stage!
	I'm just trying to...
	You're a racist and a bigot and you need to...
	I f***ing hate you!
	Listen, it's a matter of policy, and when it comes down to- Don't give a shit about your policy!
	You need to check your white privilege!
	I hope you die!
	We'll update you as these debates unfold.
	Glad to be back.
	I need to be scolded and punished.
	Austin for president.
	Your punishment must be much more severe.
	Much more severe, yes.
	Austinforpresident.com.
	Running for Libertarian, the Libertarian Party.
	Austin Peterson, thank you for staying with us, sir.
	Thanks for having me.
	Okay, so obviously we had to go through that because a lot of people may not be familiar with you.
	I say this is no offense.
	I say it because a lot of people don't even know who Ted Cruz is at this point, right?
	There's just name recognition.
	It's kind of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump is a reality show host, so they all know Donald Trump.
	So a lot of people may not be familiar with you.
	Hopefully now they're a little more familiarized with your stance as a Libertarian Party.
	So, let's get a little further down the trail.
	You've perked up some years.
	They're considering going third party right now.
	As just displayed, a quarter of Republicans won't vote.
	Which, by the way, out there, don't do that.
	That hurts the down-ballot candidates.
	Okay?
	Even if you don't like Donald Trump, or you don't like Ted Cruz...
	Don't do this.
	This isn't directed at Austin, but please don't do that.
	Austin.
	So we're at the point, they might vote Libertarian.
	Why should you get the nomination for the Libertarian Party as opposed to, say, Gary Johnson?
	What's the contrast?
	Give me your pitch, sir!
	Right, so the question is, who's best able to articulate this message to the masses?
	I've been around for ten years now, fighting every single day for limited government.
	I was a producer at Fox Business for Judge Napolitano.
	He said I was the right side of his brain.
	So I understand and I know the Constitution.
	I think I represent American values, and I can actually bring a coalition of disaffected conservatives and disaffected Democrats together.
	That's what you're going to need.
	You're going to need somebody who can draw from those Bernie supporters who won't go for Hillary Clinton because they want somebody who wants to end the banking cartels, the Federal Reserve, somebody who wants to end the war on drugs, somebody who wants to end the corporatism in the system, allow people to buy insurance across state lines.
	That's ending the insurance cartels right there.
	That's the kind of stuff that perks up Democrats' ears.
	I wouldn't put the insurance one in there.
	I've never heard a Democrat express it.
	I wish they would.
	Democrats do say that they think that the insurance industry is corrupt.
	So when you start talking about allowing people to purchase across state lines and competition, bringing down those big insurance companies that we've bailed out, then Democrats do start to say, oh yeah, this is the corporatism of the system.
	They don't like the bailouts.
	I agree with that entirely.
	I'm just saying I've not heard anyone use that in the Democratic national platform.
	But if they do, and I'm mistaken, I wish that they did.
	Sorry.
	Continue.
	Right, yeah, this is like third-party candidates that I speak to.
	So, moving on to the Republicans, they're going to want somebody who represents real, true conservative values, somebody who wants limited government, somebody who wants to be a fiscal conservative, somebody who wants to cut taxes, cut spending, who still wants a national defense but doesn't think that the United States should be the policeman of the world.
	So the question is, which candidate embodies all of those values?
	Well, it's me.
	With Gary Johnson, although he has a good record as governor of New Mexico, I think that he's not able to articulate these principles in a way that gets people excited.
	And you have to have boots on the ground to win an election.
	That's how Obama won.
	He was able to inspire people to actually get out on the street and pull a lever.
	Gary Johnson doesn't tend to be the type to inspire people to activism, whereas I do.
	I'm experienced in building national coalitions.
	I've got a long history in the Tea Party movement.
	Fighting Obamacare, and I think that if the American people actually figure out, hey, this kid exists, then I think I could build a broad national movement.
	You know what?
	I think you may be right.
	So you're saying not a huge gap between you and Gary Johnson as far as policy, certainly not like between...
	I thought that.
	I thought that, but I was wrong.
	I thought that was the case.
	We had a big argument in the Stossel forums, and I would encourage...
	Did he get bitchy?
	Because when Gary Johnson gets mad, he kind of gets bitchy.
	He got very bitchy.
	And it was over the issue, two issues that I think are really important, which he's trying to kind of play off.
	This is the, he said that he wanted to force, that he would force Jews to bake a Nazi cake.
	And this is about the gay marriage.
	Right, right.
	Well, there's a soundbite, but I understand the context.
	Yes.
	Yeah, and the question is, should you force cake makers to bake cakes for homosexual couples?
	This is a question of private property.
	This is the heart of free market philosophy.
	The right to free association, that's free speech, as well as the freedom of religion.
	And he said that freedom of religion would lead to a black hole.
	I think that's wrong.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Also, the Second Amendment.
	He started talking about we need to have a conversation about mental health screening for background checks.
	And the problem is, is one of the things that you didn't see in that Stalzel forum was during the break, a veteran stood up and said, hey, just so you know, Governor...
	Oh, did we lose Austin?
	There we go.
	Sorry, Austin, your computer and your whole thing froze.
	Not KJR. Do we have an image of him?
	Oh, there he is.
	I'm sorry.
	Okay, continue.
	Someone said, hey, Governor.
	Continue.
	Yeah.
	Somebody said, hey, Governor, I'm a returning veteran with PTSD and the government wants to restrict my Second Amendment rights.
	In New York, if you go and see a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist says this person should not have guns, there's no due process.
	Well, do you know the situation with therapy dogs?
	This is funny because I know someone.
	This dog is not a therapy dog.
	It just pees and craps everywhere, and her aunt is a psychologist, so she could write the paper, the slip for her.
	And so I have another friend who was like, oh yeah, I was just talking about this.
	I have a 90-pound dog.
	They actually tried to make a therapy dog.
	We said no.
	He wanted to make his dog a therapy dog just to take with him anywhere.
	And then he found out that if he made his dog a therapy dog, he couldn't have a CPL. I have no idea if that's true.
	He just told me the story this last week, and it seems to check out from a basic Google search.
	But it goes to the point of mental health can be subjective, right?
	You see a psychologist for anger issues, or you have ADD, and you get a prescription for Adderall.
	Next thing you know, they're putting you in a padded room and taking your pretty guns away.
	Right, and the question is due process.
	Do we have due process?
	And we don't have due process if you can just be diagnosed with PTSD and have your guns taken away, or if you can have a psychiatrist write a note and have your guns taken away.
	Usually you have to go through a court.
	You have to be convicted of a crime.
	Then you could potentially lose your rights.
	So I disagree with the governor on the gun.
	I disagree with the governor on the gay marriage issue and the question of whether or not people should be forced to associate.
	And those are big issues.
	So I'm going to make a stink about that because I think that we need somebody who's going to represent our values completely and fully and unabashedly and not give in to the social justice warriors just because we're afraid of being politically incorrect.
	Yes, I agree.
	And that is one thing I think we can both agree.
	Well, it started off that way with Donald Trump, where people were glad, going, okay, here's a guy who's not afraid to just stand up to these people.
	And then with the whole trans thing, he kind of bent over and took it with North Carolina and just towed the line.
	So I think people might be waking up.
	Oh, darn it, we only have one minute?
	All right.
	Well, we'll have to bring you back, Mr.
	Peterson, to talk about the social justice worries and freedom of speech, because I think...
	We're on board with that.
	So I wanted to make sure to introduce my audience to some things they didn't know about you.
	And by God, there should be due process with charging you for being so snappily dressed.
	Look at that.
	Spread collar, pink tie.
	So, all right, before we go, what's the plug?
	Give us the site the correct way.
	All right, austinforpresident.com.
	You can find me on Facebook.
	Peterson is spelled all E's.
	P-E-T-E-R-S-E-N. So if you type Austin Peterson in anywhere, you'll find my Facebook pages.
	You'll find 100 articles saying I'm horrible, I suck, I stink.
	This is true.
	And before we go, listen, people listening, if you hate Trump or hate Cruz, do not refrain from voting because of the down-ballot candidates.
	So you can go in and have a protest vote, at least with Austin Peterson, and still vote for your local representatives.
	Ladder with Crowder, Austin Peterson, thank you, sir.
	We must go.
	Thanks a lot.
	It only takes a time when Hey, Steven, what are you doing?
	I'm just browsing AR15.com.
	You mean the site about the scary black rifle with the best prices, community, and information on the web?
	Oh, what the hell's the difference?
	AR15.com!
	Kaboom!
	AR15.com!
	Kaboom!
	You know, they just heard the three takes.
	You did three takes.
	You didn't edit it.
	They can hear you.
	Kaboom!
	Don't get excited!
	My head was like a ping pong ball.
	Back in the second hour, we have Dean Cain coming up at the bottom of the hour.
	I am your host.
	Follow me at S. Crowder.
	I am Social Justice Warriors Natural Predator.
	Producing with me in studio, as always, is NotGayJarred.
	Follow him at NotGayJarred.
	I fulfill my legal obligations.
	Draw your own conclusions.
	That was a good interview.
	A lot of people actually giving us some feedback on Austin Peterson.
	A lot of people didn't know who he was.
	I wish we had a great...
	He's a good guy to talk with, like, besides just things.
	We need to have him back.
	Yeah, he actually is really strong on social justice leftists, and he had some commentary when we were talking during the break about the UMass event.
	We just didn't want to make it all about me.
	And pot.
	And pot.
	The libertarians love pot.
	But I did say that I would read some of your questions regarding the UMass event.
	So...
	Here's a question from Bill Sears.
	Do you think that Teletubby will change your ways since she, it, was trending on Twitter?
	That's not very nice.
	I wonder what they think when they see it.
	Was Trigglypuff trending?
	On Twitter?
	I didn't see it trending.
	Someone said it was.
	I didn't see it myself, but they said it was.
	We're going to hear some bad stories about that young lady.
	Someone at CJ Beeth asked me, do you think the hecklers added to the conversation as you had something to respond to or merely were an annoyance?
	You know, this is actually a good question.
	Because, you know, I mean, you've seen me do, what was the last time when I was in Battle Creek?
	It was like an hour of stand-up and then another hour of Q&A. Something like that, right?
	Yeah, 45-45 hour-hour, something like that.
	Yeah, something like that.
	And you've seen me do stand-up, and that's obviously my first choice.
	And the problem is...
	But going nuclear has to be close-up for you.
	Right.
	And the problem is, this can happen.
	And it happened when I was doing stand-up and I started, when I used to do these teen shows at the Comedy Nest, where sometimes people would heckle because they wanted to see how mad I would get and go off.
	The problem is that can become your shtick, and you don't want to do that.
	And sometimes feel like, oh, I'm part of the show, and so they keep speaking.
	No.
	The rule is, if you go to a show, shut up.
	Don't talk, just shut up and watch the show, because it's disrespectful to the rest of the audience.
	You tell me that when I come into work on Mondays.
	It's the rule here, too.
	Shut up.
	When you come in late wearing the wrong shirt.
	It happens.
	These essential oils that my wife made for me in this tea, it tastes like human urine.
	I'm glad you have a reference point for that, Stephen.
	Like after someone consumed asparagus.
	It's the most disgusting thing.
	It's supposed to be good for my throat.
	You hear her yelling in the next room.
	She doesn't like it.
	She's not selling them.
	But they do work.
	I tell you what, they do work.
	The essential oils.
	I have no affiliation at all.
	But you ever, like, the stress stuff?
	It seems gay, but you know what?
	Whatever.
	So here's the deal with Heckler.
	But every now and then, this goes back to the book that I was writing.
	I think I've told the audience about this.
	Eventually I'll just release the book for free.
	I don't really need the money and we're pretty grateful.
	So maybe I'll just release the e-book for free for those who sign up for the Mug Club as we start launching this in premium content.
	It was about recognizing the two different kinds of liberals.
	Now, there's a term, because I pitched this book when I was at Fox News many years ago, and the conservative publisher said, we have no interest in this.
	We don't like doing anything that's funny.
	Right now is the doomsday Obama books.
	It needs to be scarier.
	And I said, okay.
	And, I mean, I want to say I've written at least three or four chapters.
	And the two main ones, it's centered on the idea of recognizing what they now call aggressive leftists.
	I call them American idiots.
	Or the modern leftists.
	This is what I called them four or five years ago.
	Modern leftists versus default liberals.
	And there are a lot of people in that audience who came up afterward, people wearing Bernie Sanders shirts, saying, hey, you really gave me a lot to think about.
	Thanks.
	You know, I was really, I'm glad someone finally said something to these people.
	I'm not like them.
	I'm a Democrat, but we even had a Democrat ask a question in the audience who was very, very kind.
	And they said, we're not with them.
	So, that's the majority.
	29,000 students at U Amherst, maybe 50 showed up to be jackasses.
	You need to recognize that there are a majority of people out there who can be reached, who can be convinced.
	That's why I'll talk with Dave Rubin, Joe Rogan.
	He's not a liberal, but we certainly disagree on some things.
	You can convince those people.
	And then you need to understand that there are some people, like Trigley Puff, or Tom, the Blink-182 bro tank guy, who have a vested interest in keeping the lie alive because they've made it their entire cause.
	And so those people can't be convinced.
	And it's about wasting energy.
	Don't waste your energy.
	If I got down with Trigglypuff and tried to say, hey, listen, maybe your dad never hugged you enough.
	Can we please talk about this?
	It would just be, yes, you!
	Patriarchy!
	And then she'd drink a stick of melted butter.
	That's what they do.
	The thing is...
	That'd be a waste of time.
	So what do you have to do?
	In this case, the only appropriate response was to make an example of the people who couldn't be convinced in order to reach the people who were willing to listen.
	And that is exactly what you saw.
	Does it seem mean?
	Maybe.
	But the reason it's gone viral, okay, there aren't that many conservatives out there who do what we do, who see things as we see them.
	There are a lot of liberals who are tired of these people too.
	So, I don't want to say show up and heckle because you'll get another rant, but I do think it served a purpose here.
	And this was one of those situations where I said I can't do the jokes.
	I can't do stand-up.
	Again, I'm not a lecturer.
	I'm not somebody showing up for free like a lot of politicians or just trying to hawk books.
	I have made my living since 18 years old, since the day I turned 18, performing.
	That's it.
	In some capacity.
	It was thousands of stand-up shows.
	I mean, I performed in the back of a laundromat once, an open mic, and at a Chuck E. Cheese where they rented a room for a grad party when I was in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
	Just horrible, horrible shows.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Back with the cool shucky cheese with the robots?
	No, now it's a scream.
	Now it sucks.
	Oh, it's terrible.
	I can't go there anymore at all.
	Nothing to do on Thursdays.
	How was the moderator able to keep his cool, and why didn't he realize asking the crowd to shut up wasn't working?
	I do respect him keeping his cool, but when I got the standing O for the intellectual diversity line, he's like, everyone, sit down, sit down.
	I looked at him, and I said, no.
	I said, don't.
	I turned to him at one point and I said...
	I turned to him while Christina Hoff Summers...
	This is true.
	This guy can tell you.
	His name was Kyle.
	Great guy.
	We had dinner beforehand.
	Really nice guy.
	But he was uncomfortable and I don't blame him.
	There were a lot of security threats.
	He didn't plan on dealing with this.
	I turned to him at one point while the protesters were going on and Christina Hoff Summers could not answer a question.
	I looked at him and Milo and Christina can confirm this.
	I looked at him and I said, Kyle!
	Kyle!
	He goes, yeah.
	I said...
	Do not even think about removing these protesters until I finish.
	Take them out.
	I said, let me do my thing.
	Then when we go to the panel, take them to the woodshed.
	Do not even think of removing them until I go up.
	And he looked at me and he nodded.
	But I don't think he knew it was coming.
	So that was actually happened.
	And then afterward, I wish they would have been removed.
	But, you know, this guy doesn't have the power to.
	I tell you what, the security guards.
	Not necessarily conservative.
	One of them told me, he's like, I'm a Democrat.
	He's like, but I can't believe this.
	He's like, I can't believe this.
	This is just disgusting.
	A lot of these people.
	The beauty of this is it's really brought, you know, Andrew Breitbart said sunlight is the best disinfectant.
	It really has shine a light.
	Shine?
	Shown?
	Shown.
	Shown?
	Shown.
	Shown is to show.
	Shown-ed.
	All right.
	I shown-ed-ed it.
	I shone it at shine it.
	I shone it.
	Did he just have a stroke?
	No.
	So, that is what happened there.
	I'm sorry.
	I usually don't like to talk about myself so much, but people are just lighting up the questions.
	We have a couple more here to get to.
	And then, obviously, when you send us some content, some of the memes, a new segment is going to be Crowderhead content of the week.
	Every week, we're going to showcase your memes, videos, images.
	And let me see.
	Hold on.
	We have another question.
	Oh, people had some questions about Austin Peterson, and they wanted me to call.
	Listen, full disclosure, I don't check Twitter when I'm there with a guest.
	That's either not Gay Jared, you notice he's not talking, or Courtney helping me with the tweets.
	It is me during the commercial break.
	So with Austin Peterson, I can't read your questions while I'm on there talking with him.
	People saying call him on the inconsistency of abortion and death penalty.
	Listen, I agree.
	I'm not necessarily super pro-death penalty.
	I think whatever is the cheapest way to dispose of the trash, and unfortunately with our current court system of appeals, it's more expensive to put them to death than keep them alive.
	So it's not an issue I talk about a whole lot.
	If a state wants to do a death penalty, fine.
	If they don't, it's not one where I get super upset, but I certainly don't think it's inconsistent for somebody to support the death penalty and not abortion.
	Again, this comes down to, do you believe it's a life, and then do you believe in the idea of innocent until proven guilty?
	I think that's a pretty easy one.
	Is that not reasonable?
	That's kind of how I feel about it.
	Where do you line up on the death penalty?
	Are you strong?
	I always kind of grew up pro-death penalty.
	Thought it was necessary.
	Thought it was a good thing to, as you say, dispose of the trash.
	It does come with some complications.
	One thing, Bill Kriar says both shined and shown are acceptable.
	Shined and shown.
	Go ahead, continue.
	Learn something new every day.
	Just like screed.
	I read the word screed earlier.
	I never heard the word screed before.
	Thank you for that.
	Thank you for that.
	Screed?
	You never heard the word screed?
	Never heard the screed.
	You're a non-intelligent person.
	I am.
	Here's something.
	Someone said, I want to know about your blood pressure after those rants.
	I talked about this after I had knee surgery.
	I actually have low blood pressure when I'm not stressed.
	And I actually have...
	They thought I was dead after knee surgery because my resting pulse rate for a big guy, it's under 50.
	It was 46.
	And every time I would go below 50 when I was in the hospital...
	Like they thought I was going to die.
	I'm going, no, no, no.
	I'm actually in pretty good shape.
	Despite the Dan Aykroyd chin, look at this.
	Let's make a gif of that.
	I'm like one of those puffer fishes.
	That is going to be used against me.
	Like the union punch.
	Oh, by the way, someone asking, were you as afraid of this event as the union event?
	Same vibe going in.
	Hillary, my wife, can tell you.
	We sat and we prayed over it.
	There were a lot of threats.
	Obviously, there was more security in this.
	Listen, not to toot my own horn.
	Some people will say tout.
	They'll correct me.
	But I've gone into the lion's den for many, many years.
	This isn't a new thing for me.
	It's not a trend.
	I hope I've paid my dues and you've come to trust the program.
	And we issue corrections.
	It's right up there with marching up the Capitol steps, I imagine, in a bill costume.
	In a bill costume.
	Right there.
	It is right.
	Gosh, we have so many questions.
	I'm wondering if we should keep answering questions.
	Let me know on Twitter, at S. Crowder.
	Do you want me to talk more news of the week?
	Fiorina Cruz, or do you want me to answer your very intimate questions regarding the UMass hysteria?
	You're the viewer.
	A lot of you watching right now online and listening.
	You decide.
	Tweet me at S. Crowder.
	That will determine the next segment before Superman himself, Dean Cain.
	By the way, I did stuff with him.
	A lot of with Crowder.
	Crider, stay tuned.
	And now for Tales from Canada's Mounted Police, Lena Dunham edition.
	Music Hey there, mister.
	Welcome to Canada, eh?
	Please, your license and passport.
	I'm not a miss, sir.
	Oh, I'm so sorry.
	I didn't mean to offend you, Miss...
	Dunham.
	Hold on just about one moment, okay?
	Hey, Tim.
	Hey, Tim.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Darn it, it's her, eh?
	What?
	Darn it, it's Lena Dunham.
	She's here, you know?
	Ah, son of a f**k!
	I know, I know.
	What do I do about it?
	Ask her a business in Canada.
	Okay, okay.
	Miss Dunham, what is your business in Canada?
	Well, I might have to move here because Donald Trump might be elected and I might move to Canada.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that's illegal, you know.
	We can't let you do that.
	What?
	I don't know.
	It's against some law there somewhere.
	What law?
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Tim, I don't know what to do about it.
	She wants to know what law?
	I don't know.
	Make up one.
	She's not a Rhodes Scholar.
	Tell her maritime law.
	Okay, okay.
	Sorry about that, Ms.
	Dunham.
	It's actually a violation of maritime law.
	Oh, that sounds pretty serious.
	Yeah, I know.
	My hands are tied, you know.
	Can I see documentation on that?
	Uh...
	Hold on a sec.
	We'll be right back.
	Stay tuned for more tales from Canada's Mounted Police.
	Lain of Denim Edition.
	Fans or join the mailing list.
	There are so many ways for you to stay connected.
	You have no excuse.
	You have no excuse just like you have no excuse for those roles that are just cascading over your belt buckle.
	You should be ashamed.
	Unless you're a lady.
	Then you deserve a medal.
	Get her a medal.
	All right.
	Glad to be back.
	They heard that.
	They heard that.
	Okay, so people were saying, let me split the difference.
	On Twitter, it's going nuts right now.
	People want to hear more about UMass.
	News of the week, real quick.
	We're going to talk about Amy Schumer afterwards.
	She released a sketch.
	I think a lot of people missed it on Comedy Central.
	Huge irony that she missed in trying to bash Republicans.
	People asked me...
	Have I gotten to the point, because I've defended her in the realm of comedy, saying I think she can be funny, and now she's gone full social justice leftist.
	People said, is she at the point where you're willing to say that she's not funny?
	I would say so.
	I don't think she's funny anymore.
	Amy Schumer?
	Yeah.
	You know what I watched?
	I watched, and I was tweeting about it.
	I watched Trainwreck the other day.
	So did I.
	The other day?
	Just a couple days ago?
	I watched it, yeah, just on HBO.
	Yeah, it was actually a pretty funny movie if you remove Amy Schumer 100%.
	Yeah, I know.
	It would have been great.
	It was Bill Hader and LeBron.
	They were funny.
	And so was John Cena was pretty funny.
	John Cena was pretty funny, actually.
	Pretty funny.
	I actually thought that was pretty funny.
	But again, the whole thing is I'm a dirty slut, truck stop.
	By the way, I will say this.
	I think we might have him on the show next week.
	I don't want to prematurely say, but there might be something in the works with us working together.
	Comedian Nick DiPaolo retweeted the UMass event and sent me a very nice message.
	And I will say this.
	There are a few crowning achievements in my life.
	People are tweeting me.
	They're talking about you on Fox News.
	First of all, scoring me.
	Yes.
	Full time.
	Yes.
	Scoring you, not scoring with you.
	Let's correct this.
	Two bucks an hour.
	Go ahead.
	So, people are saying, oh, they're talking about you on Fox News and CNN, this UMass thing.
	And I was going, oh, great, they're only 48 hours late.
	I don't care.
	I genuinely couldn't care less.
	I have no interest in that.
	But when Dennis Miller or Mark Stein or Nick DiPaolo, people who I've looked up to, Nick DiPaolo is possibly the greatest comedian ever.
	Ever.
	I would put him right up there.
	Him and Bill Burr I would put right up there as some of the best ever, living or dead.
	Nick DiPaolo is the quintessential perfect club comic.
	Now, does that mean he would be like a daily show host?
	I don't know.
	I don't know if he could do much acting.
	Probably not, because you see him and it's just, oh my god, this is Nick DiPaolo.
	And you want him to be Nick DiPaolo.
	And he's the best ever at just going after hecklers.
	So that was really nice.
	And we might have him on the show sometime soon.
	So I don't know what my point was there.
	I was talking about something.
	Some of the stuff, big plans maybe coming up.
	Yeah, we can't talk about them.
	There might be some big plans for Lauder with Crowder coming up here that you may get a lot more than you bargained for, and then you might not like us anymore.
	So let's talk about News of the Week real quick, and then we'll get to your questions, because, oh my gosh, the phone lines, the Twitter lines are lighting up.
	Ted Cruz picked Carly Fiorina as VP. Everyone knows I love Carly Fiorina.
	I've been open about it.
	I think she's great.
	Yeah, you get a little bit of crush.
	She was my number one pick.
	She was my number one draft pick.
	So am I happy about that?
	Yes.
	Do I think it helps Ted Cruz?
	Probably not.
	Because they've tarred and feathered her as establishment, Rhino, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	So that's what Donald Trump will do with...
	But then you got John Boehner coming out.
	Was it today or yesterday?
	Ted Cruz was Lucifer.
	He said that a while ago, though, but he said that again.
	So John Boehner...
	When you write out material, you've got to kind of recycle it.
	Yeah, exactly.
	John Boehner saying Ted Cruz is Lucifer.
	Listen, if you want to talk about anti-establishment, when John Boehner says that you, a Republican, are Lucifer...
	You're doing something right.
	I can't think of a more ringing endorsement than that.
	So, I love Carly Fiorina.
	Here's one thing I will say, Carly Fiorina and Senator Ted Cruz, they've been on the program.
	A lot of people get gun-shy, right?
	Because same thing like social justice warriors, you get the same thing with old Republicans, who when they see guests on our show and the very next segment is spot the tranny, they message them and they get gun-shy to come back.
	Listen, right now, we're very blessed, but if you are a Republican candidate, a conservative candidate, and you want to hit that demographic of people who are under the age of 40, our average viewer listener is a 28-year-old, typically male, you need to come through here.
	And I will say this, for the alt-right, they're right about this.
	Even though the numbers don't bear out, and Donald Trump is immensely unpopular with millennials, two, Carly Fiorina and Senator Ted Cruz, Maybe not me.
	Maybe not me.
	Maybe go on Joe Rogan.
	Maybe go on Adam Carolla.
	It doesn't have to be me.
	I think our show is that we provided a really valuable launching pad.
	I mean, people who saw the Ted Cruz interview and Carly Fiorina, when you add it up across iTunes and YouTube, were half a million people.
	That's not a ton.
	It's more than CNN. But they stayed for an average of 32 minutes.
	A 28-year-old male.
	That can affect a big outcome.
	So...
	I really like Carly Fiorina.
	Obviously I like Ted Cruz.
	Do I think it'll help him?
	I don't know.
	And man, I just wish they managed their campaign more properly.
	Whereas Donald Trump, he does a great job of courting people online.
	He has smart people working for him.
	Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina often abandon them.
	And I'm telling you, sorry, there are only so many corn husking Christian conservatives in that baby boomer generation who can carry you to an election, and I don't think there are enough.
	So that's my take on that.
	When it comes back to UMass questions, because then we have to get to Dean Cain, right?
	Dean Cain.
	Have you heard the ban social justice from university's petition?
	What's your stance on it?
	Yeah, no, I've heard it.
	It was from Sargon of a Cat, and I support it.
	I think that's a good question, a fair question.
	Please answer the Twitter questions.
	Did you just say your wife's name was Hillary?
	Yes, but she's good Hillary.
	And with one L. With one L. Yes.
	Big difference.
	Yes, absolutely.
	It is a huge difference.
	Gosh, all my good questions got just buried now under the Twitter feed.
	Oh, here you go.
	Michael J. Hout.
	Thank you so much, Michael.
	He says, I would like to hear you discuss the UMass event more.
	I was a Democratic student who asked the second question.
	I'm going to tweet.
	You're going to hear this.
	Answering now, all caps, Michael.
	Thank you.
	This guy actually was there.
	He asked a question.
	He's a Democrat.
	And I don't remember what his question was.
	I think it was about political correctness, the one I answered.
	But he said, I don't.
	This doesn't represent me.
	And afterward, he had me come up, sign his book, and we spoke.
	And if you watch the panel...
	Everyone was nice.
	I mean, I said, hey, give a round of applause for Michael.
	And it wasn't to try and pander.
	Obviously, I'd just gotten done, you know, just scorching earth with the other people there.
	But I just realized this aromatherapy is going on.
	I don't know if it's coming on the camera.
	But this guy was simply wrong.
	I mean, I'm willing to go on Dave Rubin's show.
	I have no problem speaking with someone with a differing opinion.
	So, Michael J. Hout, thank you for showing up on my Twitter timeline.
	And, yeah, there's also a petition now.
	We're going to release a piece online where people were actually retroactively saying I should have never been there.
	And I have the letter in front of me.
	Oh, I saw it.
	That was great.
	And it said, even though the guy yelled out, he was exercising free speech, it doesn't give Stephen the right to call him an androgynous amoeba.
	Like, what kind of an adult, right?
	It's just, there's something about an adult complaining about an insult in writing that just, like, you just feel like they need to be keel-hauled.
	But the punchline for me was the fact, sign so-and-so, communications.
	Communications!
	Oh my god.
	Michael, thank you.
	We need to get you on the show, Michael.
	Thank you, Democrat from UMass.
	We need more people like you.
	If you want to come on the show, let's get in touch.
	Louder with Crowder, Superman, Dean Cain after this.
	We now return you to a live debate between Mark Levin and the black guy.
	Thank you.
	All right, you dope!
	You dummy!
	I know where you're coming from!
	Black lives matter!
	Black lives matter!
	I'm trying to make a point here.
	If you would shut your mouth up and listen!
	You're a homophobe!
	And you're a bigot!
	And you hate black people!
	Oh, you big jerk!
	You dummy!
	You're not even going to listen to what I have to say!
	You dope!
	I want you to kill a black guy for no reason!
	You don't...
	What?
	We'll update you as these debates unfold.
	We'll be right back.
	We'll be right back.
	Yes, he has.
	And you hear the song, you know who it is.
	If not, Gay Jared can get to the soundboard quick enough.
	Can we have it?
	Yeah.
	That's them playing over each other, but you get the idea.
	We get the idea.
	You get the idea.
	It's a beautiful song for a beautiful man, Dean Cain.
	Thank you for being with us, sir.
	Oh gosh, now Not Gay Jared ruined your intro.
	Sorry, thank you for being with us, sir.
	Aw, Jared, Not Gay Jared.
	Get on the ball.
	You have to fire me again.
	Fire me again.
	Yeah, I think you might have to get fired.
	I don't want to have to sing again, but it might happen.
	Well, actually, you know what?
	People really liked your performance in the firing of Not K. Jared.
	They were pretty happy with it.
	So, for people who want to follow him, RealDeanCain on Twitter in the Gosnell movie.
	Now, when's the Gosnell movie coming out?
	You know what?
	I'm just an actor.
	I don't know the answer to that question, but I know it's coming out soon because I've done the ADR for it, so it's the next step of getting there.
	So I'm imagining within the next few months.
	It's a heck of a movie.
	I think it's pretty good.
	Well, we've had Anne and Philemon, and gosh, that's the kind of thing where I thank God for the internet and being able to bypass studio executives these days with crowdfunding because there's no way that would have been made 10 years ago.
	No.
	I'm surprised it got made now.
	Yeah, I am surprised as well.
	So I wanted to talk about this.
	We'll get to news of the day, but last time we had you on, you did mention, you know, you were socially liberal, fiscally conservative, but you've been in some of these Christian-themed films.
	So where does that line up personally?
	Your faith?
	Are you agnostic?
	Are you more like a federalist, like Ted Cruz, where you're personally Christian, but, like, depends on the state laws?
	I want to give you as much leeway as possible.
	Fair enough.
	Wow.
	Federalists are never defined like that.
	For me, I wasn't raised very religiously.
	I look at religion as a positive thing when it does positive things for people.
	I like my son having a good knowledge of the Bible and a good understanding of the Bible.
	I studied all the major world religions in college.
	For how much you study in college.
	Right, yeah, that's true.
	You were too busy wrecking people in the football field.
	That was fun.
	Football was a fun thing.
	I still have my president's shirt on now.
	Oh, there you go.
	Good Lord, you are an animal.
	For me, choosing to do a faith-based movie is no different than choosing to do any other type of film.
	I enjoy them because they usually have a message and they say some things that make sense in life, morality and so on and so forth.
	But I don't specifically pick them because I'm pushing Christianity on anybody in any way, shape or form.
	Do you think a part of it too is just because it sounds like you're more open-minded to all sides and a lot of people in the industry would not touch a Christian film with a 10-foot pole?
	Yeah, well, you know, there's a lot of things like that that people have set up these walls, if you will, whether they wouldn't go do a Christian film or they wouldn't play gay in a film or to do this.
	I've never listened to that convention.
	I've always just decided based on the merit of the project and as an artist, someone who gets to make movies and do this, I think it's great to be able to play against type or play different kinds of roles.
	I've played gay in a number of films.
	I've played just all kinds of different characters, and I like that.
	It doesn't necessarily mean that's who I am or what I represent, but I think it's nice to be able to play all different things.
	I'm not going to be held at convention.
	That can be a word-tangle soundbite.
	I played gay.
	I like it.
	I am that.
	That's what someone's going to sniff together.
	That very well be a word to Angle Sam.
	Shame on you.
	It is true.
	You shame on both of us.
	Okay, speaking of walls, I'm going to tell you about the wall.
	Last time you talked about how you really liked Carly Fiorina.
	So it's looking more and more like she's the VP pick for Cruz.
	When you heard this, were you excited?
	Have you made up your mind right now on who you're supporting?
	About three months ago, I was sure in my brain that I wanted to see a Cruz Villarana ticket, and that would get my vote.
	Okay, so that's like your dream ticket coming to life.
	That's my dream ticket of the current candidates.
	I'm not going to say anybody's a particular dream in this presidential election.
	My world is a dream.
	I don't agree with Ted or Carly on every issue, but I line up with them a lot more than I do some of the others.
	So I think they're a great, powerful team.
	I think we'd be in great shape if they were elected.
	You know, I agree with you.
	I think it might hurt him because people have sort of painted her as this rhino establishment, but that's the attack that's used against anyone.
	So I know, obviously, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, but contrasting with Trump, you line up significantly more with that ticket than a Trump.
	I think a Trump ticket is Trump Trump.
	I think he's going to fill both slots.
	Can he do that?
	Can he be his own VP? He can, yeah.
	He can.
	He can change convention.
	You know what?
	Listen, I like what he's done to the race.
	I like that his frank talk is done to the race and such, but I just don't know that I want him to be my commander-in-chief, President of the United States.
	I just don't know that he feels like the guy.
	I think Cruz, to me, is the guy.
	It's a really interesting election cycle.
	When I'm over in Europe, I've been in Europe a lot lately, and they're shocked by the idea of Trump being in the position he's in.
	They're just sort of shocked by the whole thing.
	I don't know.
	You have to have a certain telegenetic look.
	You've got to speak in soundbites.
	I mean, Ted Cruz, for as much as I love the things he says, he does look like the Grandpa Munster.
	He does.
	Eddie Munster's grandpa, I put those pictures side by side.
	If not Gay Jarrett, could you just throw it up there for me?
	I'd be so happy.
	We could do it in post, I guess.
	That or a little bit of Kevin from The Office.
	Just look at the two of them.
	That is literally the reincarnation of Grandpa Munster.
	I know, and it is a problem.
	It can come across prefab.
	We've talked about that, too, with the delivery with Ted Cruz.
	But, man, in Hollywood, that's the hardest guy to support.
	You can kind of support Donald Trump because there's a lot of ties there, right?
	And he's sort of bombastic.
	People go, well, okay, I get it.
	It's sort of a protest candidate, and we don't think he's that conservative.
	But Ted Cruz in Hollywood, that is a way to dig your heels in.
	If you say that to your friends, how upset with you do they get?
	Uh, they get upset, but we'll discuss issues, talk about things, and then they're not as upset.
	And, you know, and that always cracks me up when they start talking about, well, we don't want to hear an actor talk about politics.
	Anybody can talk politics.
	If you think there's no interest in politics, I always say politics have an interest in you, so you better pay attention.
	This is true.
	My dad always said the two things people say, don't discuss religion and politics, the two things that matter and largely define who you are, even if you're against religion.
	It still defines you then at that point.
	Absolutely.
	These are the things that shape our world.
	Yeah, I mean, you say that you discuss the issues and then they get less mad.
	I'm going to call BS on that.
	I don't think that any of the left in the entertainment industry, I don't think that you have this discussion and you bring a lot of them to your way of thinking.
	I think that people who are like, well, I guess maybe Hillary, they can kind of be brought along the trail, but in the entertainment industry, they were so vitriolic.
	And they have a vested interest, right, in this sort of bubble being kept in pristine working order.
	Do you really feel like a lot of people in the entertainment industry can be swayed?
	Oh, I don't think they can be swayed so much as they will just tolerate my opinion.
	That's because you're Dean Cain and you flash him a smile and they tolerate it.
	Let's be honest.
	I might thump him.
	That's it.
	What I find is that they will – they get so angry sometimes when we're having a conversation.
	They can't even have the conversation.
	They don't want to have the conversation.
	That to me is just the ultimate hypocrisy.
	It's like, look, if you're claiming to be so open and so inclusive and all this but you won't listen to another opinion – Aren't you basically being a total hypocrite?
	Well, yes.
	I don't think they will answer that question.
	I think they'll move on down the trail to the next executive.
	Speaking of which, okay, this is something that's always interested me.
	You know, Hillary, the Clintons were Hollywood's darlings, and then they kind of turned on her for Barack Obama.
	And even if you look at the entertainment industry, the majority of them turned on Hillary for Bernie.
	When it came down to the wire, like, ah, we just can't.
	Have you felt that being out there in L.A., working in Hollywood, where it was kind of assumed it was going to be Hillary, and a lot of people just going...
	Man, I just think this woman's a witch on wheels.
	I can't do it.
	I haven't noticed that much because people aren't talking about it that much.
	They really aren't.
	They're not saying who they're going to support.
	They keep politics pretty quiet.
	But, I mean, Bernie Sanders is a democratic socialist.
	He's a socialist.
	This is the United States of America.
	I cannot wrap my head around the fact that he's gotten any votes, any support.
	I just don't get it.
	Well, I don't want to out you, but that's because you're a little older than the people who are voting.
	A little older.
	A little.
	Listen, if we can age as well as you, we'd be very fortunate, but...
	You know, you have a lot of people, 47%, who don't pay federal income tax at all.
	Of course, that includes all college students.
	I mean, I don't know if you just saw this this week.
	I was there at UMass with Milo and Christine Hoff Summers, and we just got shouted down.
	They were just yelling us off the stage, and they said, you're not our guest.
	We don't want you here.
	And to me, it's crazy that these kids don't want to pay for school, but then they want to shout down the groups that actually do pay to bring in guests.
	I've never seen a generation more entitled, and those are the people voting Bernie.
	So...
	Yeah, well, I completely agree with you.
	That's insane.
	And if I were a parent of any of those kids, first of all, my son would never do that, just because I've raised him differently.
	He would listen to someone who had an opinion that differed from his, and he'd respect them and listen to what they have to say and disagree with them all he wants.
	But to shout you down is insane.
	Well, it's just that they don't believe in freedom of speech.
	Now, do you have these discussions with your son?
	Like, do you know where your son lines up politically, or is he sort of apathetic?
	No, he's behind Dad.
	This is the way it is.
	He agrees with Dad's opinion.
	He sees me watching the news and talking to him.
	I talk to the news.
	I'm like, oh, come on, because blah, blah, blah, and then they'll say something similar to that, and I'll say, that person's this, and I don't know.
	And he hears it, and he, because he has to eat.
	Oh, come on now.
	No, you seem like a dad.
	If he decided to go off the beaten path there for a little bit and go full socialist, you'd probably be upset.
	I'd take away his car.
	There you go.
	Well, Dean Cain taking away your car, there is motivation.
	Is he in college yet, or is he going to go into college?
	No, he's in 10th grade.
	He's just getting a car.
	Okay.
	But I would explain to him that this isn't a socialist household, and so that doesn't work.
	He can work for his money to make a car, and suddenly he wouldn't be a socialist anymore.
	No, this is true.
	Well, do you do allowance in the household at that age?
	How does that work with a 10th grader?
	Did you get allowance?
	No, I just get money.
	He doesn't need money for real money.
	No, I still don't get paid for much.
	This is true.
	I wonder, because I worked as an actor starting at 12, and so at that point there was no more allowance.
	I was allowed a certain amount of it, and then the rest of it when I was 18.
	But I wonder what Dean Cain does with his son.
	So when he needs it, you just kind of give it to him?
	Just give it to him.
	He doesn't need much money.
	The kid doesn't do a whole lot that needs money.
	Occasionally it's an Uber because I can't pick him up someplace, something like that, so that's not part of it.
	That's just a ride to this or that, the other thing.
	But he doesn't spend any money.
	He doesn't spend money on anything.
	He doesn't like things.
	He's got computers.
	He doesn't like things?
	He's got what he needs.
	He's not a serial kid.
	Right.
	Well, that's good, especially being in an industry in an area of the country that is so vain.
	What are you going to do, though, when it comes to college?
	Because this is an insane time sending your son to college, which is really just a social justice leftist factory.
	Do you dread that?
	How are you going to handle it?
	That would be a problem for me.
	My son right now is still debating whether he wants to go to college.
	And he's in a school where 99% of the kids go to college, if not 100% last year.
	So he's in a college prep place.
	If he doesn't want to go to college, he ain't going to college.
	I'm not going to force him to go there.
	I certainly listen to the way things are being...
	Like you just said, the way the kids are being taught, the things they're hearing, he wouldn't be going to...
	To one of those schools.
	Let's just put it that way.
	So maybe like a state school or something like that?
	Yeah, he's looking at Pepperdine, which is right nearby me, and things like that, which is good.
	Yeah, but they even banned a friend of mine, Brad Stein, for saying that forks were better than chopsticks.
	They said it was offensive.
	It was ethnocentric towards Chinese people.
	Well, Japanese people use chopsticks too.
	I don't know.
	Oh, you're going to use your Asian privilege here and let me know.
	We get it.
	Check your white privilege.
	This is true.
	Well, come on.
	At your height and size, there can't be that much Asian in you.
	No one's buying it.
	That's what my brother always says.
	But yeah, they banned someone for saying that at Pepperdine.
	So even at Pepperdine, they get along that trail.
	That's insane.
	That's insane that you cannot do that to free speech.
	That's the whole point of free speech.
	It should make you uncomfortable.
	I mean, it doesn't make any sense to me.
	And my son, just that way, he'll speak.
	Right.
	Like it or not.
	Well, and Pepperdine is actually, it's a nice university.
	It's a nice campus.
	It's out there in Malibu.
	He can be close to Dad.
	So you can make sure he's not, you know, doing some social studies and then banging rocks when he's out of there.
	So let's keep Mr.
	Cain for, oh, we have 30 seconds?
	Gosh, Don K. Jared is messing up the countdowns, Dean.
	Oh, come on, Don K. Jared.
	That's what I do.
	Kind of my thing.
	Kind of my thing.
	It's been a real problem with you lately.
	Actually, I was on time, this one.
	This is your inner clock.
	It should be a cautionary tale, Dean, where you tell your son, here, this is what happens when you don't do things correctly, and just send him this show and not gay Jared.
	And just say, that's what it is.
	I didn't finish college.
	This is what happens when you don't finish college.
	Well...
	You didn't finish college!
	Yeah, I didn't.
	I did not.
	Probably shouldn't even be gone.
	You need to get your money back.
	Alright, we are going to have to go to a break here.
	Dean Cain, stay tuned.
	to you in Ladder with Crowder.
	And now for Tales from Canada's Mounted Police, Lena Dunham Edition. - Bye.
	Tim!
	Tim!
	She asked me for documentation on that maritime law, eh?
	Ah, son of a moose, c**k!
	Just get rid of her, eh?
	Till you have to pull her aside and strip search her if she didn't go back.
	Okay, okay.
	Okay, sorry, Miss Dunham.
	While we're getting that documentation, if you wouldn't mind pulling aside to get into Canada, it's a new policy.
	You know, we have to strip search everybody.
	Oh my god, are you guys going to try and rape me?
	What?
	No!
	Hold on, okay...
	Tim, she's saying we're gonna try and rape her now!
	Ah, beaver dick!
	The last thing we need is to be on CBC, you know?
	Yeah, I know, but she seems pretty dead set on telling everyone we're gonna rape her, you know?
	You know all about how it works.
	If you don't follow through, they're never gonna believe your threats, so...
	You gotta do it, you know?
	Hi, Ms.
	Dunham.
	Yeah, thanks for waiting, and we're going to have to have you pull over to the side.
	But just to be clear, you know, nobody is talking about rape.
	I don't know.
	Everything's rape to me.
	I know.
	You've made that clear, but this is proper procedure, and you'd have to pull over, or you can just go on back to the United States, you know?
	No, I'll take my chances.
	I know, but you don't have to.
	You know, you can go right on back.
	No, I'm pretty sure that I'm okay with this.
	Yeah, I know, but we're not.
	You know, you don't have to take your top off that fast.
	I've done this before.
	Stay tuned for more tales from Canada's Mounted Police.
	Lain-a-Denim Edition. Lain-a-Denim Edition.
	All right.
	This is not good.
	He might just walk off.
	It's like you're going to Gary Coleman and saying, what you talking about, Willis?
	Dean Cain's done more than this, Dean.
	I'm so sorry.
	It doesn't hurt me.
	It doesn't hurt me at all.
	I have a thick skin.
	I've been called a heck of a lot worse than Superman.
	I'm okay.
	I'll take it.
	This is true.
	We've talked about that.
	You have a good head on your shoulders about that.
	Sometimes I remember I walked up...
	Who was it?
	A celebrity?
	I won't give out a name.
	But someone who was very iconic with a character.
	And we were specifically told, don't talk about that because it bothered them.
	You've never been that way because you were happy to play it.
	It's something that resonates with people.
	You don't get mad if someone goes, Superman.
	No.
	I don't get mad when they call me Scott Peterson.
	Maybe a little bit.
	Maybe a little bit.
	I played him.
	I played Scott Peterson.
	Who's Scott Peterson?
	Forgive me.
	Oh, he killed his wife.
	Oh, that's right.
	Or they say.
	I don't know.
	You gotta be careful now because the lawyers can get on you.
	That's happening with the OJ show.
	I played the character.
	That's all.
	You played the character.
	I played the character.
	This is true.
	Okay.
	So I want to go back to your son.
	So your son may not go to college.
	Does he have any idea as to, not to get obviously super personal, but this is interesting because I've talked about this with guests who go, well, not everyone has to go to college.
	But then in the conservative circle, there's this elitism.
	What's the first thing they list?
	I went to Harvard.
	I went to Cornell.
	I'm going, well, you don't really believe it because that's what, well, there you go.
	Princeton.
	See?
	There you go.
	Exactly.
	That whole thing right there.
	Oh, sorry.
	But does your son have a plan, like a trade school or a business or if he doesn't go?
	He doesn't know.
	And the truth is, you know, I don't want to...
	Half the kids that I was at Princeton with were so stressed out by the time they got there, there would be like the midnight disappearance.
	And did you hear about so-and-so?
	She's gone.
	She's just gone.
	And the meltdowns, the breakdowns, and it's tough.
	So when you're pushing that hard, and everyone's always pushing from the very beginning...
	My kids, at three years old, they started doing this, and they're like...
	That stuff doesn't matter.
	It just doesn't matter.
	And you look at some of the great inventors of our time, you know, on our time.
	I wasn't back with Thomas Edison.
	No.
	Of all time.
	Our time and previous times.
	You look at a lot of different people like that who are tremendously successful.
	They didn't go.
	So if he doesn't have it in him, he doesn't have the will or desire to go, I'm not going to push him to go.
	For me, college is a great time to grow up, make a lot of stupid mistakes, learn how to drink.
	Oh, come on.
	Careful now.
	That's what happened.
	Well, that's what happened for you.
	You don't want your son doing that.
	No.
	I'm throwing you a lifeline here.
	No.
	That's what people do in college.
	It's true.
	Well, for a lot of people, it's four years of glorified alcoholism.
	And the truth is, if people have a proclivity toward that, toward addiction, and they just think it's college and fun, it can mess them up.
	And I've seen that.
	It can.
	It can.
	Yeah.
	But then, you know, that's where you learn that you can't do that.
	Well, no.
	They just shouldn't do it at all.
	Because there's those people, you know, like, oh, well, what is this you say?
	Mike's hard lemonade?
	But you see that.
	And you can find that person in college.
	But if you stay hidden behind closed doors...
	You're not social enough to get out there.
	I mean, that's where you figure out a lot of things.
	I saw some guys have some problems in college, and we identified it.
	We're like, dude, you shouldn't drink.
	Well, you played football, so probably a lot of those people are dead.
	No, the lifespan is not, you know, for a lot of these, with the brain injuries and they just beat up their body, a lot of them get addicted to painkillers.
	I mean, they can be great guys, but like my friend who played football at, well, Gerald, we have him on the show all the time, at Notre Dame.
	Like, those people are, people think of the struggling sort of artist and the drugs and that's the idea of the tortured creative mind.
	It is actually just as prevalent among athletes because of the pain they go through.
	It's tremendous pain.
	I've had six surgeries myself.
	The thing is, what's that?
	I just got back from rehab.
	I had knee surgery.
	It's excruciating.
	The rehab, it's awful.
	Yeah, but if you don't do it, you might as well not have the surgery.
	That's true.
	So, you know, yeah.
	So I've seen it, but none of my friends have died that I played football with.
	Not one.
	So just the guys on the team you didn't like?
	Yeah, well, I... They're gone.
	Two of those guys, I, you know...
	But, you know, that stuff happens.
	But, you know, listen, I think, you know, going to college is a good thing.
	It's a good place to grow up.
	It was great for me.
	I went in as a boy, in a sense, and I came out as a man.
	I learned how to work hard.
	I learned how to work hard playing football, work hard in school, in the classroom.
	I was always so good in the classroom in high school.
	I got to college and I was terrible, comparatively.
	Really?
	Really?
	Well, it just took me a chance.
	I had to adjust.
	I went to a public high school.
	I wasn't always aiming at Princeton or any place like that.
	I was just taking AP classes because I thought they were fun.
	Right.
	I was the opposite.
	I wasn't pushing hard for college.
	Working hard.
	That's the course I skipped out on.
	That's the one I missed.
	You slept through it.
	I wasn't horrible.
	I was like a C-plus, B-minus student in high school.
	I didn't do anything.
	And then got to college and actually did pretty well.
	That's the thing.
	Because you were ready to learn that.
	Well, it's because I was finally interested.
	I got to pick my courses, you know, and then left because I was doing stand-up comedy.
	So again, I didn't finish.
	I remember my teacher giving me flux.
	She's like, I don't understand why you're acting up in my class.
	What do you think you're going to be like, just for laughs or something?
	And I had just gotten called like that week that I had made it into the festival.
	And I said, why am I here?
	I just walked out and I never went back in.
	That was it.
	That was for me.
	I just realized that was my moment.
	And then my brother graduated with honors at UT Film School in Austin, which is a very prestigious film school.
	He wasn't the best high school student.
	And we were like, wait, Jordan got honors when he's walking across the stairs?
	Like, one of the best schools in the...
	How did this happen?
	He was just in his field.
	He's brilliant.
	And so a lot of people think you have to find that in school.
	It sounds like maybe your son...
	You grow up, but you don't have to grow up in college anymore.
	There are so many other available outlets if it doesn't fit your goals.
	It's absolutely true.
	Yeah.
	Do you feel that with all your kids, with your son?
	Is it just – With any kid really at this point in time.
	My cousin, I just put him through college.
	He went to Alabama.
	OK.
	But he did a good job.
	He was an OK student in high school.
	He did great in college and did a wonderful job and then got a real high-paying job and now just left that kid because he's still a kid.
	And, you know, college was great for him.
	I just don't know for my son if that's what it's going to be that he wants to do.
	I'm not pushing him.
	No, and this is an important point because people say it needs, you know, college is a human right, right?
	Bernie Sanders.
	What about someone like your son who chooses not to go and starts a business or goes to trade school?
	Why should someone like him pay for someone else's eight-year degree in social studies?
	No one thinks of someone like your son.
	He shouldn't.
	Nobody should.
	Right.
	No question about it.
	And the federal government's got to get out of subsidizing those loans and causing all that trouble and making the price go up.
	I mean, that's what's happening.
	It's just madness.
	Look at Dean Cain.
	It took us this long to get there, but look, he just threw something out that the people don't realize.
	Tuition is so high because of inflation with these student loans on the table.
	Unless you are a hardcore libertarian economics buff, you don't know what Dean Cain just threw out there.
	He's not all looks.
	He's not all looks.
	Mostly, though.
	Let's be honest.
	But it's great to look.
	Like Dean Cain.
	If you could do all of the above, man, you have punched your ticket.
	Okay, speaking of punching ticket, people can follow you at RealDeanCain.
	And guys, now, do you keep everyone updated on Twitter on that?
	I do.
	As soon as I know what's happening there.
	Like I said, I'm just a dumb actor.
	They don't tell me anything.
	But when they tell me it's coming out, I'm screaming about it.
	I'll be on Twitter.
	Well, absolutely.
	And we'll have to have you back on the show to talk about it.
	We wanted to keep it light today because we have Austin Peterson and then we have all this crazy stuff going on.
	But next time we'll talk about the dark abortion movie.
	Dean Cain, thank you for being with us, sir.
	I appreciate it.
	Way to pitch that dark abortion movie.
	Yes, next time.
	That's how we'll end the segment.
	Light it with the crowd, everybody.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm not Superman.
	man he is.
	This is a Lena Dunham Morning.
	This warning is specifically for all Canadians.
	Lena Dunham has threatened to move to your great land if Donald Trump becomes president.
	This burden will be accompanied by horrible television programming, false claims of rape, and long-term famine due to the over-consumption of your country's abundant natural resources.
	This has been a Lena Dunham warning.
	This has been a Lena Dunham warning.
	Third hour.
	That's actually my favorite bump of the show now.
	It's pretty good.
	I was showing friends that Pogo chap.
	Pogo chap.
	That's actually a remix for those who have asked.
	Yes, it's a remix of Hook.
	The film Hook.
	I like it.
	I like it.
	He just died.
	Not didn't just die, but he died a while ago.
	Oh, no, no.
	Shmi.
	Shmi.
	I just forgot his name.
	Tweet me his name.
	Hi, people.
	Tweet me his name at S. Crowder.
	Not gay, Jared.
	It's all the time of my time.
	Not gay.
	Legal obligations.
	You get it.
	People really seem to want to...
	Oh, wow.
	That's so cute.
	Aaron D. Gamil.
	Someone's tweeting me a picture of their baby watching Dean Cain.
	Well, hopefully the baby is watching Dean Cain and not me.
	Because that's not good.
	You want a better example.
	And Dean Cain was Superman for crying out loud.
	People really want to keep talking about UMass.
	I don't know if it's because it's intimate and people feel more connected with this.
	This is why eventually we know, listen, that we will probably outgrow the medium of radio, traditional radio.
	We're grateful to be syndicated, but...
	Real quick, it is important.
	Bob Hoskins.
	Courtney tweeted.
	Bob Hoskins.
	Bob Hoskins.
	Courtney scoffs.
	Well, she didn't answer my texts.
	Oh, there you go.
	Bob Hoskins.
	Okay.
	Okay, let's do something else.
	We'll get back to UMass, and let's get to one thing here.
	Amy Schumer released a sketch on Comedy Central.
	Did I already answer that?
	I don't think she's funny now.
	Sometimes it's tough to know what's on air and what's off air.
	Amy Schumer and I have had our run-ins, and I respect immensely what she has accomplished as a stand-up comedian.
	I have to.
	But she's crossing over into territory.
	I mean, you don't want to perpetuate rape culture at all.
	Let's roll the clip of the sketch.
	Now time for the best Crudder Head Contribution of the week, yeah.
	Time to listen up, you silly liberal fruitcakes.
	Ooh, they have something called a gelatinator.
	Our patented ice cream dispenser guarantees that every scoop is super cool.
	Oh, how can I be a professional victim today?
	They have edible waffle holders.
	That sounds delicious.
	You have any idea, sir, how pathetic it must be to be you?
	You're not falling for anything.
	It's just nice to see some creative advertising.
	Your parents didn't tell you that your opinion wasn't worth that much.
	Give us some credit, brain.
	We're your most loyal customers.
	There's a giant blue penguin outside Yumbobo giving away free samples.
	No way, what?
	I've got to see...
	You guys can't be grown adults enough to literally wait!
	The jerk store!
	Oh, they're running out of you, George Costanza, you androgynous little amoeba.
	And by the way, these opinions you're yelling out, they're not even your opinions.
	They're your opinions from your gender studies professor, and the really reason you picked it was because you thought it was your best chance at getting laid.
	That your very glance in the direction of a woman causes a barren womb.
	Is he gonna check his privilege?
	That's not going to happen.
	You're fighting for the right to be a pussy and not hear opinions that you don't like!
	I know!
	The face you see in your nightmares was created by social justice warrior assholes like you!
	Oh, shut up.
	You just got owned and now you're trying to come back five minutes later.
	If you only take one piece of advice from them, don't be an asshole your whole life.
	We're not paying for the Scrotterhead contribution!
	But it was sweet, yeah!
	Things that I want to do I ain't got a thing to prove to you Oh my gosh, so glad to bring in this next...
	He's actually pinch-hitting for us.
	He wasn't the scheduled guest.
	Sargon of a Cat dropped out, but usually Klavan is our first guest, and he always just gives me the shaft, for lack of a better term.
	You can follow his podcast at dailywire.com.
	Fantastic.
	Brilliant guy.
	And the skill he has, I always talk about this, he's brilliant, but he makes you feel like the smartest person in the room.
	So he's a very skilled liar.
	Andrew Klavan.
	How you doing, Steve?
	Good to see you.
	Good to see you.
	Oh, look at that background there.
	You look like quite the author.
	That's just painted on.
	It's one hell of a green screen with a TriCaster.
	So, wow, it's been a while since you've been on the program.
	And what we were talking about, you sent me some very nice stuff about the UMass event, which we've been talking about.
	You're obviously an educated man.
	And you were like a pot-smoking hippie, I think, back in the day.
	How does this compare to that era, would you say?
	You know, well, I thought what you said, one of the things that you said that was so accurate in your rant was when you said that the guys who originally were fighting, they were idiots in a lot of ways, but they were fighting against the system.
	They thought they were fighting for more freedom.
	They thought they were fighting for, they called themselves the free speech movement where I was in Berkeley.
	So, you know, they actually had at least an idea that the dialogue should open up, that radical ideas should be allowed in.
	Now, it's all about shut up.
	It's all, stop talking.
	I don't want to hear it.
	I don't want, you know, don't say anything.
	There's their opinion, and then there's hate.
	You know, there's their ideas, and then there's, you know, evil.
	And so you never have to debate.
	You never have to prove your point.
	You never have to say, hey, you know, I'm looking at this city where all you great non-racist Democrats are running things, and all the black people are moving out.
	Why is that, you know?
	You never have to say, like...
	Whoa, whoa.
	What is your problem?
	You insensitive a**hole!
	You can't wade into race.
	I didn't know you had my wife there.
	Oh, good lord!
	Your wife's a sweet lady, Andrew Clavin.
	And she's named Carl, for those who don't know.
	Those words would never cross her lips.
	But, you know, you never have to say, hey, there's been feminism now for, you know, 40 years and women are more unhappy.
	Women are committing suicide and all these, you know, how come?
	Because all you have to do, all you have to do if you're one of these social justice warriors is point at a conservative and make that noise that Donald Sutherland makes at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and the conversation is over.
	And so I think that is a difference.
	I mean, they did shout people down.
	In the 60s, they were wrong.
	They did take over buildings.
	I wish people had slapped them down the way Reagan did at Berkeley.
	I wish they'd done that all across the country.
	They didn't.
	But they did have this idea that they were fighting for more freedom, where these guys are fighting for less.
	It's the first time you have people who are fighting for less freedom.
	Funny thing, last time I was at Berkeley, they have the free speech circle.
	And I remember talking with some students.
	I said...
	I thought the Free Speech Circle was America, and they had never thought of it before.
	Like, you shouldn't need a designated Free Speech Circle, you piece of human feces.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	Was that there when you were there, the Free Speech Circle?
	Absolutely not.
	You know, in England, there's a famous place in the park, I think it's in Hyde Park, where they stand on boxes.
	And the reason they stand on boxes is because then they're not on British soil and they can't be arrested for treason for what they say.
	Very old tradition there.
	And I hate to see that come here because I thought America was one big box where we were allowed to say anything we damn well pleased.
	Well, I just picture that being like one game of Jenga and a government official is just shuffling the boxes so he falls off and then they put him in the stocks.
	That's where the idea of a soapbox comes from, somebody on his soapbox.
	Yeah, a lot of people don't realize some of these anecdotes that we use, these colloquialisms, are actually rooted in history.
	Okay, speaking of history, I do have to give you a tough question here.
	Someone wanted me to ask where you tweeted out, America first, the phrase just adopted by Trump, was a movement led by Nazi sympathizer Charles Lindbergh to keep the U.S. neutral in World War II. And this person wants to ask why you pull the Nazi card on Trump but not on Cruz for the same phrase.
	I'm not aware that...
	He used it offhandedly.
	First of all, I was not pulling the Nazi card from Trump.
	I'm not accusing.
	I think Trump has a fascist heart.
	I think he appeals to something that is truly fascist, which is the idea that the rules don't matter.
	I'm going to fix it.
	I alone can fix.
	I alone can fix this.
	That is fascist at its heart.
	That is fascism.
	That's the definition of it.
	But I'm not calling him Hitlerian at all.
	I don't think he's, you know, trying to kill people or start a war or anything like that.
	All I was pointing out was that, you know, America first sometimes doesn't help America.
	And that was the case with Charles Lindbergh.
	Good point.
	Lindbergh was a great man.
	He was a great...
	In the field of aeronautics, there were very few men as great as he was.
	He fell in love.
	He was enamored of Hitler from afar because he thought that he was a strong man fixing the economy.
	Remember, it was the 30s.
	Everything had crashed.
	And he felt it was wrong.
	He wasn't really an anti-Semite.
	He was kind of like a typical anti-Semite of the day.
	But he made a mistake, which is sometimes you have to engage with the world to win.
	And you can't retreat and you can't just say, oh, we'll let Europe go up in smoke and our allies be taken over.
	So that would be wildly entertaining because the social justice warriors are in parliament in Europe.
	And I'm going like, ah, V for Vendetta was a crappy movie, but I'd like to watch that firework show.
	But, you know, I have to tell you that after I said that on Twitter, the virulent anti-Semitic remarks, I mean, unbelievable.
	Not since, like, the 30s have I heard this kind of garbage.
	Yeah, that was the alt-rights.
	And, you know, and I just want to say that somebody who wrote that speech, maybe not Trump, Trump is kind of an uneducated person, but...
	But maybe somebody who wrote that speech must have known where that phrase came from.
	And I wonder if it was a dog whistle to these people.
	Was he sending a signal that, yeah, you know, I'm on your side?
	Even though I don't particularly think Trump is a racist per se.
	No, I don't think he is.
	I think he's playing to those people.
	Yeah, and you know, the alt-right, you have to understand, too, like, they've gone after Shapiro, they've kind of gone after me, but a lot of them are just, you know, they want to be disturbers because it's a retaliation to the social justice warrior culture, and so I cut them some slack until they start sending, you know, Jews, pictures of dead Jews.
	But I think if you keep that in that context, it's not as bothersome.
	You know, these aren't fully grown.
	Yeah, I've heard our pal Milo Yiannopoulos say that, and I'm not convinced, you know.
	I mean, I think that may be true of some of them, but, you know, you do need a sense of what evil is.
	I mean, the thing is...
	Well, let me tell you one thing, because we don't have a ton of...
	I want to bring you back in the next segment, but let me tell you one thing.
	We have these studies here.
	We have all these analytics, and a lot of these people who are Trump supporters, they get really offended when we go after Bernie.
	Because a lot of them are either Bernie or Trump.
	It's just angry populist rhetoric.
	And so we're very surprised.
	And that's why Hillary Clinton just said they were afraid that Bernie Sanders would go Trump.
	There is more crossover.
	And we have a lot of conservatives who get mad when I go after Bernie.
	Why don't you go after Clinton?
	I said, well, there's going to be plenty of time for Clinton.
	Right now, Bernie's the movement candidate.
	Let's make sure we address this.
	So there is some of that there at play.
	And can you hold that thought?
	Or did I interrupt it and it's gone?
	No, no, go ahead.
	All right, okay, because we have to go to a break, and right now I'm just buying time until we get there because I needed to time it out.
	Maybe we could sing a little song or something, you know?
	Well, you don't want me to sing a song, nor not Gay Jared.
	But, oh, that sounds like we're going to a break.
	Andrew Klavan will be back.
	Stay tuned for more.
	Hey, if you're listening to if you're listening to or watching this podcast, there's a strong chance that you are not yet following me on Twitter, where I'm tweeting all day long.
	I'm ticking off the social justice warriors.
	You should see the amount of hate I get on there.
	Far, far, far worse than any Fat Sports Illustrated model or Black Lives Matter charlatan.
	So listen, it's free.
	You get to be entertained and you can chime in.
	Also, if you're following me on Twitter, you can send me your tweets and maybe you'll be lucky enough.
	And I mean lucky enough because I have a lot of followers, okay, that they call me the follower machine to have your tweet to me or not gay Jared included in our rockinest tweet of the week.
	So follow me on Twitter at escrowder.
	If not, I don't want to say I have sights on your mother, but...
	Oh, she's dead?
	You're just saying that because I made a mom joke.
	No, she's really dead?
	then, well, you kind of walked into it.
	We now return you to a live debate between Social Justice Skyler and the Black Eye.
	Work lives matter!
	You're a racist, and a homophobe, and a bigot!
	I know you're racist!
	And you're the bigot!
	No, that's you!
	And you should get off the stage with all your racism!
	Don't tell me about racism!
	You got white privilege, and you need to shut the f*** up!
	No, you need to shut the f*** up!
	Patriarchy!
	Did she just wake up?
	Yeah, she woke up and you're a f*** it!
	Alright, wash your mouth, man!
	Rape culture and Black Lives Matter!
	Hey, that's my strict.
	You're a transphobe!
	Hey, man, dudes with d***s in the restroom are still weird!
	Penis privilege!
	Hey, shut up!
	Your family's part of the 1% and you have such fun!
	Double center for women!
	I want to get back to Black Lives Matter!
	F*** you!
	No, f*** you!
	F*** you!
	Get the f*** off the stage!
	Now you first!
	Ladies first!
	Eat me!
	Now that's disgusting.
	Yeah, that's pretty gross.
	That's sexism and body shaming!
	Oh my god, is she dead?
	I think so.
	Saved by the bill.
	We'll update you as these debates unfold.
	All right, glad to have our guest glad to have our guest here.
	He's back.
	He had a thought.
	You can follow his podcast, DailyWire.com.
	Brilliant guy.
	Just type his name into Google.
	You'll see everything you need.
	Andrew Klavan, thanks for staying with us, sir.
	It's a pleasure.
	It's a pleasure to be here.
	It's too long.
	I don't get to see you anymore.
	I used to be out here.
	I got to see you sometimes.
	I will be out there.
	Well, I don't know if I can...
	Do people know where you are, or is that undisclosed?
	I'm in L.A. Okay, in L.A., yeah.
	I'll be out there soon to do some work with PragerU and Ruben, and I think maybe...
	I have a show, actually, at the Reagan Library.
	Fantastic.
	I don't know when, three weeks.
	I'll update you on it.
	So, okay, you had a thought.
	I want to hope that you held it through our sponsored break, and...
	No clue.
	What were we talking about?
	Really?
	You forgot it?
	I don't know.
	We were talking about the UMass dust-up.
	I think we were talking about then the dog whistle with Lindbergh.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I mean, that was the only thing that I'm a little bit...
	You know, it's interesting that Trump would use that as the Donald doctrine, is America first.
	It was a very famous movement.
	It was a movement to keep us out of World War II. It was a movement that was sympathetic to Hitler.
	It was really kind of before they knew exactly who Hitler was and how bad and evil he was going to turn out to be.
	So it was an anti-interventionist movement.
	It's been very much discredited.
	There were guys on Twitter saying, yeah, we should have stayed out of World War II. Yeah, good idea.
	Yeah, I know.
	I've gotten a lot of that, too.
	All your allies conquered by an evil, demonic, hate-filled crazy man.
	That's the way you want the world to be.
	And it doesn't matter what you say.
	They'll just say, well, you're half-Jew, so you have to have that opinion.
	It's like, well, no.
	No, I don't have to be a half-two to have that opinion.
	I explain to them, you know, that I am a Jew, but I've converted to Christianity, so while they're burning in hell for their anti-Semitic crap, I'm going to be having a gin and coke!
	Wait, gin and coke?
	Is that a drink?
	I know gin and tonic.
	No, I'm just making it up.
	I don't know.
	It sounds like it could be a thing.
	I know rum and coke and then gin and tonic.
	Where do you pull a fast one on you?
	It's something you didn't know about.
	Hey, Andrew, I have to ask you.
	Do you just wear makeup or just have that completely even complexion all the time?
	My doctor, what did he say?
	I had pristine skin.
	This is the way I look.
	It's just like a matte finish.
	You would never need to be powdered ever, even under shark hunting lights.
	This looks like a shirt.
	This is actually just me.
	This is all my skin.
	It's just you.
	It's just like the Sports Illustrated things where they paint it on.
	I draw buttons on my chest.
	Yes, yes.
	No, I agree with you, and I think that's disturbing.
	My issue, too, I really hate that right now with the Republican Party, and like you're talking about these people who go after you or Shapiro, and they go after me, but I just don't care so much because I'm an entertainer, is they've made people like you a bigger target than the left.
	And I was talking with Milo about this, too, and obviously he doesn't necessarily believe that, but a lot of these people think you're a bigger enemy for not getting in line with Donald Trump.
	Oh.
	Than Hillary Clinton.
	And I just really think these people, if they're attacking you and Ben Shapiro, I'm going, listen, I'm glad you have a new phase you're in.
	But these people have paved the way for many, many years.
	And one last thing, too, when people say, if people have fought this much against Obama as they do against Trump, we wouldn't have Obama.
	I go, that's just a stupid comment.
	There was never a more bloody, bare-knuckle brawl than conservatives and Republicans against Obama.
	So to say that there wasn't is just silly.
	Yeah, I mean, that's for sure.
	I've been talking about that.
	I'm glad just to have Trump, so I have somebody else to attack at this point.
	You know, look, you know, the idea that because Trump has an R after his name and is, you know, a putative Republican, and the idea that because he says America first and wears a red hat and all this stuff, that he's a conservative, that he represents what America represents, that's just simplistic and silly.
	I mean, the guy's history is not a good history.
	I mean, as he himself would say, bad, very bad, you know?
	I think that, you know, his business dealings are suspect.
	Not very nice.
	Not very nice history.
	You know, his business dealings are suspect.
	His politics change.
	And what I don't understand is that Trump supporters keep saying, well, he was in business so he had to lie to people and give money to the opposite side.
	What makes them think he's not doing that to them?
	Right.
	Why do they think, if he's betrayed every idea he's ever had, if he's betrayed every person he's ever, what makes him think they're not betraying him?
	I don't get that.
	And it also says a lot about those people.
	They don't believe you can make it in business honestly.
	They believe that's the only way business can be done, is by abandoning your principles.
	Well, that's...
	He wasn't that good a businessman either.
	No, no, I know.
	We can get into that, but I understand.
	But I want to go back to the UMass thing, because that is something we can all agree on, and you've talked about this.
	You're such a sensible guy and a reasonable guy.
	Do you think...
	Not to be selfish here, was I out of line?
	Is there a point where it's appropriate to drop the A-bomb?
	Is that okay, or can someone always be convinced?
	I think that there are people who can't be, and you need to recognize the difference.
	I think we're dealing with a case.
	The only words I can think of to describe it is induced insanity.
	I mean, I think that there are, I think one thing, there are kids, a lot of kids are on drugs, a psychotropic, you know, prescription drugs to deal with depression and all this stuff.
	Kids get drugged too quickly.
	They go to college and they get off those drugs and they crash.
	And a lot of them are really lost and really in trouble.
	And they start to pour into their heads these ideas.
	You know, today on my podcast, I read an article called, Everyone Who Is Unhappy With Life Is Unhappy For The Same Reasons.
	And it was just a self-help article, not political at all.
	No, it was great.
	It just gave ten ideas that people have that make them unhappy.
	And almost all of them were exact descriptions of social justice warriors.
	So it was things like, if you think life is fair, you're going to be unhappy.
	I mean, that just makes perfect sense.
	If you think everybody should like you, you're going to be unhappy.
	If you think everybody should naturally agree with you, you're going to be unhappy.
	These are things that make people miserable.
	And so these kids are being made miserable.
	They're lost.
	They have no adult supervision.
	They have been told, some of these girls have been told that they should feel about sex the way men feel about sex, which is just so destructive.
	And to be honest with you, men shouldn't always feel the way men feel about sex.
	You know, men should have reined themselves in a little bit.
	You know, and they're lost and they're alone and they get this idea that somehow their self-esteem is dependent on your behavior.
	I mean, think about this for a minute, Stephen.
	You know, you and I get called every name in the book every single day.
	I don't lose a minute's sleep over it.
	I mean, I don't even think about it.
	I don't think what people call me.
	I care what my wife thinks about me.
	That's what I care about.
	Right.
	Because she knows me and I love her.
	If you walked around worrying about microaggressions, We're good to go.
	It's just abhorrent that the universities basically promote this.
	They promote it in their classrooms, but they also promote it by not allowing people like you to speak.
	They don't invite you.
	When Shapiro goes to speak, he has to go through all this red tape.
	There are riots.
	There are people screaming.
	I think you struck back.
	You were totally within your right to strike back.
	Well, I know it was in my rights, but you always want to do the right thing.
	But I was talking about that earlier.
	I don't think I could even have sat down Trigglypuff and said, hey, listen, let's find some common ground.
	No, I think making an example of those people convinced the people who could be convinced.
	We were talking about this 20%.
	29,000 students at Amherst, only maybe 50 at most were there to protest and stir up crap.
	They're not the majority, and they're going away.
	But they have a sympathetic media, they have a sympathetic entertainment industry, and they have a sympathetic administration in higher education.
	Except for Princeton.
	That guy didn't tolerate that.
	Remember that statement the guy wrote at Princeton?
	Yeah, I'm sure I remember that one.
	It was very, like, you will be removed.
	Act like adults.
	It was very simple.
	I don't even think the guy was a conservative.
	I don't know why that's hard.
	Why is it hard for every dean or, I don't know, head of the board at these schools?
	Doesn't it seem like that should be a given?
	You're out.
	Part of it, I suspect, is economic.
	You start throwing people out, then they're not going to be paying your immense tuition fees.
	Which is silly because enrollment goes down like you see with Ms.
	Hugh.
	Yeah, but also it's the tyranny of cool.
	I mean, one of the things that nobody wants to do is nobody wants to say, you know, that's wrong.
	You're doing the wrong thing.
	And I'm older than you, and I know it's wrong, and you are too young to understand what you're doing.
	Shut up.
	That's why I have the authority and you don't.
	Nobody wants to say it.
	And as a result of that, you know, it's really interesting.
	I don't know if you've read that book, Coming Apart, but he explains in Coming Apart that people who do well...
	Don't preach anymore to people who are doing badly.
	They don't say, this is how I did well, you can do this too.
	Oh, I guess that makes sense.
	Maybe one day when I start doing well, I'll be able to reverse that trend.
	I'm not holding my breath.
	No, no, I'm not holding my breath either.
	Yeah, you're laughing because I miss it.
	What is it?
	Mitsu?
	I don't know either.
	I don't know either.
	I never get it right.
	I just know you don't get it right.
	I know I never get it right.
	How do I pronounce it, Andrew Klavan?
	Mizzou, they call it.
	Mizzou.
	Mizzou.
	That's stupid.
	That's the stupidest thing.
	How come I keep coming on the show, I never get a louder with Crowder t-shirt?
	Well, we just got them, and they only sent me XXL, but I have a shirt coming out that you're going to want more.
	Uh-oh.
	What's that?
	Well, it's as incendiary as a t-shirt can possibly get, but it's a reasoned argument, and it involves Che Guevara.
	I'll say that.
	So I'll send you one of those, and if you wear it on your show, we can cross-promote that.
	By the way, we have a little bit longer, but I know dailywire.com, if people want to subscribe directly to you, what's the best link of communication to Andrew Klavan directly?
	Well, I think you can go on andrewklavan.com if you like, but you can also subscribe to the podcast, which is Monday through Thursday, so you get a lot of content there.
	But I have my own website, AndrewClavin.com.
	And also come on Twitter.
	I'm at AndrewClavin.
	I would love to have you on Twitter.
	You can come and at least talk to all the Jew haters.
	Well, yeah, I don't know if you want to invite this Twitter crowd.
	Your crowd.
	Yeah, our followers are pretty cretinous, but they're not mean-spirited.
	And I think they're mostly your fans.
	So, Andrew, thank you so much.
	We'll have you back sometime.
	Let's have you co-hosting in the seat.
	DailyWire.com.
	Last word.
	One sentence.
	Come to my podcast.
	Come on to my podcast.
	Come to his podcast.
	Andrew Klavan, DailyWire.com.
	No, no, you got your last word.
	You must go now.
	Lotter with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	Here's some music.
	There's not a break here.
	I never signaled you for a break here.
	You gave me a single 30 seconds.
	I said very clearly about three minutes.
	Oh!
	You have time.
	Just keep going.
	I have time?
	Yeah.
	Andrew.
	Andrew, get back here.
	Get over here.
	Get over here.
	What happened?
	I was just making myself a sandwich.
	I was, you know...
	A Jew sandwich?
	This place is chaos.
	This place...
	He's halfway to the kitchen making matzo balls.
	Matzo balls.
	And latkes.
	How dare he?
	I'm sorry.
	I had no idea.
	Here's the problem, Andrew.
	Not gay Jared.
	Get yourself on camera.
	Don't hide here.
	I'm not hiding.
	This is 30 seconds.
	I never gave you that signal.
	I can give you a different signal if you like.
	Stop it.
	Stop it.
	Don't give me the Trigglypuff signal.
	Okay, Andrew, we have a couple...
	But I want you to come on the podcast.
	I want to interview you.
	You want me on your podcast?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I didn't think you ever asked.
	Well, because you have to control your language.
	We do a clean podcast.
	Well, that was actually really out of character at UMass.
	My act is clean.
	It's very offensive.
	But even then, it was PG-13.
	I was just at the point where I really like...
	We've talked about it.
	I love Milo and Christina Hoff Summers, but you've known me for a long time.
	It's one thing they show up and lecture.
	And I felt, I got so mad because Christina is so nice, and she keeps talking over herself because she can't hear.
	And I'm saying, well, that's not because she's inarticulate.
	She can't hear herself, and our sound is going out.
	And the difference is, I'm a comedian, and I knew I wasn't going to get jokes out, and I know I can kind of do that, so I said, okay, if I need to fall on this sword or just kamikaze bomb into the audience to hopefully silence them for a bit, I have to do it.
	And then they quieted down for like two minutes.
	And then they, you know, once the enforcer was sitting in the chair, they started speaking up again.
	You know, I think the thing that really does worry me, especially since we look like we're looking, we have a good chance of getting Hillary Clinton as president.
	And Hillary Clinton is very antithetical to free speech.
	I mean, Hillary Clinton hates this, you know, that Supreme Court decision that It came out of the fact that somebody did a video critical of her.
	Well, so do Trump supporters.
	They hate the Citizens United.
	That's one of the most misunderstood court cases ever.
	It's totally misunderstood, and people have to keep explaining it.
	But one of the things that worries me is these kids have lost the plot of free speech.
	They don't understand why it's good, why it trumps, as it were, hate speech and all that stuff, and why we put up with hate speech in order to have free speech.
	Now we actually do have 30 seconds, but I think that's a better point to end on.
	Now you can go enjoy that sandwich in peace.
	Andrew Klavan on Twitter, at AndrewKlavanDailyWire.com.
	I highly recommend this podcast, and I will go on this podcast, and I will bridle my tongue.
	We'll wrap this up in a bow for you.
	you.
	Stay tuned.
	And now for Tales from Canada's Mounted Police, Lena Dunham Edition.
	Okay, thanks, Miss Dunham.
	It looks like it's come down to this.
	I figured it might.
	Yeah, I about thought that.
	I've never seen anyone disrobe so fast at customs.
	Okay, you're going to get started?
	Yep, any second, just after this third beer, you know.
	Is that legal to drink beer on the job?
	It is today.
	Okay, well, I don't think this is the first time you've seen this, because I know you have the queen and your money.
	That's great.
	Making jokes, you know, make this go a little faster.
	Okay.
	If you can just stand there...
	Against the wall, and I am going to check if you could please refrain from moving.
	I totally get it.
	Okay, last piece of clothing.
	Oh, it's gone.
	Okay, I've got...
	Did you have too much beer?
	Let me go with that!
	Oh my god, I think he's choking.
	Somebody help him!
	The only thing he's choking on is the side of your ass!
	What?
	It's okay.
	It's okay.
	Okay.
	Get up against the wall here.
	Alright, I'm about to body cavity search...
	Lena Dunham.
	Let's go.
	I have places to be.
	Oh, Canada.
	Our home and native land.
	I can't.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	What?
	Where are you going?
	I love you, Canada.
	I'm sorry I failed you.
	Oh my god!
	I thought those were illegal here!
	Not today!
	Stay tuned for more tales from Canada's Mounted Police.
	Lain of Denim Edition. Lain of Denim
	Edition. Lain of Denim Edition.
	That means it's the homestretch of this show.
	Homestretch of the show.
	Yeah.
	Depending on where you...
	What was that, Metallica?
	That was something special.
	That's all we know.
	That's all could be determined at this point.
	That was...
	Gosh, the show went by so quickly because we had some great guests, and I guess people really liked the question and answer with the UMass stuff.
	Oh, Stalker Jim showed back up on my timeline.
	Well, I'm glad to see he's still doing okay.
	And that's Hoppy chewing on his dead squirrel.
	We got him a chew toy that looks like an SQU. If I say the actual word, his ears perk up and he goes nuts, and he is just killing this thing.
	So it's been a good night.
	It's been a good night.
	It's been a big week.
	It's been a stressful week, and there are some announcements here coming on the horizon.
	If there's a takeaway here tonight, we were talking about Lena Dunham.
	Sorry, not Lena Dunham.
	Amy Schumer.
	It's so easy to confuse them now.
	It is.
	They kind of just hop on the same train, and it's a train you never want to hop on for lots of reasons.
	The problem is Amy Schumer was a funny stand-up comedian at one point.
	Lena Dunham got a job because her dad drew vaginas.
	Hey, everyone's got a resume that's full of interesting things.
	I worked at Starbucks.
	Some people dropped the jacks.
	You'd be amazed at how many people just lie about their resumes and people don't even question them on it.
	I will say this.
	There's a certain cable news network that has somebody on there.
	And no, it's not Ben Shapiro.
	It has somebody on there who claims to be a Harvard lawyer who has never been to Harvard.
	And there's a restraining order against this woman who I'm just trying to think.
	You've said too much.
	There's a restraining order against an organization in Vegas that showcases fighting.
	So there's a restraining order against her for being a stalker, and she appears now on a cable news network, and they list her as a Harvard lawyer, and it is verifiably false.
	So I'll leave that out there and people can do their own digging.
	My goal is never to destroy anybody's career, but if you're a con artist for the Harvard Law box of con artists...
	That's so easy to check.
	It is.
	It's so easy to check.
	And I will say, of course, this person is a big Trump supporter.
	That's all I'll say.
	All I'll say, not a Harvard lawyer.
	Well, you've said before, people didn't know.
	People assume you have a college degree and stuff for a long time.
	They hire you on and then realize way later.
	I did well in college.
	I didn't finish.
	I've been pretty open about that on the show.
	On the show, yeah.
	Yeah.
	But people don't bet you for that kind of stuff.
	I did well when I went in.
	And then my last semester, I bombed out because I was doing stand-up every single night.
	Okay, here's a story.
	Let me wrap that up.
	My first experience like this, people say, well, how long have you...
	I was 18 years old.
	It was Champlain College, which was a place I was attending, and I was setting up a stand-up event at Champlain College in St.
	Lambert.
	And what happened was, it was a BS excuse, there was an open house going on on the weekend, and we were doing the show Friday night in the auditorium.
	What they really didn't want was a show to happen, period, and the dean folded to these people, where they got us removed from the college to do stand-up.
	And here's the thing, all of the proceeds at this point were going to Christmas Baskets.
	Turkey Christmas baskets.
	And we had already raised a lot of money.
	People had pre-bought tickets.
	And so what we did, we couldn't pull the show.
	The college pulled it.
	This kind of stuff happens all the time.
	Was we rented out.
	We lost, I think, another $600 to rent out the venue.
	The French college, Du Rocher, across the street.
	Literally right across the street from this college.
	And then I had some people out there, I think my girlfriend at the time, and some friends with signs in front of Champlain College that same night directing them across the street.
	So even back then, little Steven with the little jerk wheels turning, I thought, well, how can we stick it to these people for banning us?
	And we lost a little bit of money, but the event still happened, and I think we still created like 50 Christmas baskets.
	So this has been going on in my life for a long time.
	And I wasn't inherently political.
	I was just inherently offensive back then.
	And so I was doing this and doing all the open mics.
	So I did.
	I bombed out my last semester of college.
	The takeaway here, though, is to go back to Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham.
	You know, you can't demand free birth control.
	You can't demand subsidized women's health care and then get mad when the people paying for it have a say.
	You can't demand higher taxes on the wealthy like Bernie Sanders.
	You can't demand people paying their fair share, meaning more than half of every dollar, and then get mad when these people at the higher upper echelon have more pull in government than you do.
	You can't do that.
	You simply can't do it.
	You can't demand that people who express opinions that you don't like be banned from campus.
	You can't demand that safe spaces need to be created and hate speech needs to be regulated and then get mad when your freedom of speech goes away.
	You can't demand that other people don't have the right to the firearms that you don't like but then get mad if they don't want you to hunt anymore.
	You can't get mad when you demand that the government crack down and put more money into solar power and start cracking down on SUVs and then get mad when the prices of your cars go up.
	Or then get mad when the UAW goes out of business because of meeting all of these requirements and they can't keep up or build competitive automobiles.
	You can't look to the government.
	You can't look to a centralized form of authority.
	Whether it's government or school, Media?
	You can't look to them and give over the reins of power and then get mad when they use them.
	You can't do that.
	You have to be consistent.
	And so that's a big issue, obviously, that I would have with conservatives, Republicans who aren't conservative.
	I don't want somebody who's going to be an executive abuser for our side.
	I want the guy who doesn't want the job.
	I don't want free condoms.
	A lot of conservatives go over, if you're people, they think they're making a good argument.
	If you're going to do free birth control, what about free prostate exams?
	I don't want, first off, I don't want a prostate exam, period.
	It sounds very unpleasant.
	I probably won't do it.
	I might take my chance with the cancer.
	But I certainly don't want the government to mandate that a woman pays for it.
	We're talking about this with Dean Cain.
	Free school.
	What are you really doing when you say free school?
	What about people who chose not to go to school, chose to go to a trade school, or chose to start a business?
	Or someone like me who said, you know what, I'm going to go be a stand-up comedian and do this full-time.
	What are you doing?
	You're not just, it sounds nice, free school, free birth control.
	What you're really doing is forcing somebody who has autonomously made their own choice to not be involved in that activity.
	You've now forced them to be involved because you have an opinion.
	But then, you don't want them to have an opinion.
	Pay for my birth control, but don't have an opinion on my sex life.
	Pay for my school, but I have the right to say which speakers are allowed to come and go.
	And that's where we are.
	That's the social justice warrior left.
	That's authoritarianism.
	You do see it on the right as well as the left.
	Mainly the left.
	Be consistent.
	Ladder with Crowder.
	We'll see you next week.

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