Andrew Klavan’s Don’t Worry, Be Miserable skewers modern liberalism through satire—mocking DEI policies rewriting intel reports to avoid offending Muslims (e.g., replacing "jihadist" with "Pastor Bob") and framing Biden’s China-aligned DNI Avril Haynes as a puppet. He ties cultural decline to sexual liberation, citing abortion advocacy, declining marriage rates, and smartphone addiction (40–50 hours/week for teens), while praising DeSantis’ crackdown on minors’ social media. Contrasting Trump’s funeral attendance with Biden’s fundraisers, he blames liberal governance for fentanyl’s 295 daily deaths and moral decay, then pivots to faith: salvation hinges on agape love, not dogma—warning even "Christ is king" activism may be rejected if lacking compassion. Ends with Easter’s paradox: recognition comes when God speaks your name. [Automatically generated summary]
The Daily Wire has exclusively obtained a newsletter from the office of Joe Biden's National Intelligence Director.
Joe Biden, or as he's sometimes called the big guy, is, of course, you know, the rhododendron currently running the free world on behalf of the Chinese, which is only fair since they've paid him a bundle in bribes.
His director of national intelligence is Avril Haynes, whose pronouns are Wang Si, Ko, Mao Soi, Fang Fang Chu, and who served under CIA Director John Brennan, a communist, when the president was Barack Obama, an anti-American globalist.
But not to worry, during her confirmation hearing, DNI Fang Fang reassured Congress there were only some areas where she wanted to cooperate with the Chinese, like in collecting the big guy's money and depositing it in one of his 20 shell companies.
So he has plausible deniability while he's handing our border to Mexican cartels who kill Americans with fentanyl, then launder their profits with the Chinese mafia inside the U.S. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, according to the Daily Wire's crack investigative reporter Spencer Krack, DNI Fang Fang's office puts out a newsletter called the Dive, DIVE, which guides the FBI, CIA, and NSA on matters of diversity, equity, and inclusion, DEI, so that our intelligence officers can better keep America free for the untraceable banking of Chinese bribes.
According to DNI Fang Fang's newsletter, when American intelligence officers are reporting on terrorist threats, they should stop describing, I'm not making this up, they should stop describing the terrorists with phrases that may be hurtful to Muslim Americans.
Now, the Daily Wire's crack reporter Crack has also obtained secret files that describe a real-life incident in which DNI's DEI DIVE helped CIA, FBI, and NSA perform their duties.
Recently, one of our top CIA agents, Wang Fuqi, received a warning that a young Iranian man was about to blow himself up on Wall Street while shouting Allahu Akbar, thereby potentially damaging our banking system and preventing President Big Guy from collecting his money from China and secreting it in one of his 20 shell companies.
Though it was the dead of night, Agent Wang quickly called DNI Fang Fang where she was sleeping at Congressman Eric Swalwell's house to report that the big guy's cash was facing a jihadist threat.
DNI Fang Fang immediately dropped her writing crop, leapt out of bed, and instructed Agent Wang that he should re-file his report after first removing the word jihadist, which might offend some Muslim Americans.
Dutifully starting over, Agent Wang then said, quote, a young man from a foreign nation that intends to destroy the world in order to hasten the arrival of the 12th Imam, or sorry, I should just say the 12th non-denominational clergyman named Muhammad Almahi, or maybe just Bob Almaty, or let's just call him Pastor Bob.
Unfortunately, at this point, Agent Wang's report was interrupted by a shout of Allahu Akbar, followed by a tremendous explosion.
In another helpful edition of the DNI's DEI DIVE to FBI, CIA, and NSA, the newsletter tells the touching story of an American intelligence officer who says, quote, and as God is my witness, this is a real quote from the DNI newsletter, I am an intelligence officer, and I am a man who likes to wear women's clothes sometimes.
My gender identity and expression make me a better intelligence officer, unquote.
The officer goes on to explain that cross-dressing not only makes his intelligence work more incisive, but also more becoming in a pink chiffon mini sundress with a naughty but nice sweetheart neckline that's simply perfect for reporting on young foreign-born males who want to hasten the coming of the 12th non-denominational clergyman, Pastor Bob.
But at this point, the article is interrupted by a shout of Allahu Akbar, followed by a tremendous explosion.
So as you can see, we can all rest easy at night knowing that Congressman Swalwell's mistress, DNI Fang Fang, has a cross-dressing communist CIA agent keeping watch to make sure no one uses offensive language while President Big Guy is being paid by China with the money they make laundering the profits Mexican gangsters collect for killing Americans.
All that said, now I'll begin my satire.
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klavan, and this is The Andrew Klavan Show.
All right, we're back.
The vast conservative conspiracy known as Clavinon continues.
This, right this moment, would be an excellent time to subscribe to the Andrew Clavin YouTube channel, my personal YouTube channel where you will get exclusive content directly from me.
I will drive by your house, I will throw it at you, probably knock over your kid, and just drive off into the distance before anybody knows it's coming from me.
We've got everything up there, including the interviews we do that come out every Wednesday.
Those are available there on Daily Wire Plus and on the audio feed.
Last week we had Abigail Schreier, who I love.
She was talking about her new book, Bad Therapy.
And this coming week, we have an interview.
It's already been taped, and I think it's one of the best interviews I've ever done.
It's with investigative reporter Michael Schellenberger.
Possibly it's a great interview because I don't talk in it very much, but it really is good.
Also, if you leave a comment on YouTube and it violates all the laws of God and man and just drags this show down into the gutter where it belongs, we'll read it because that's where we belong.
Today's comment comes from survivor Dave.
He says, guys, an alien killed Clavin and his wearing his skin.
He claimed Clavin slept.
We know that would never happen.
I know, amazing, right?
It was shocking.
And I've had too much energy all week.
All right, let's get to today's episode.
Don't worry, be miserable.
So I had an amazing week, a wonderful week, but it kind of hilarious.
So many good things happened.
I began to feel it was kind of supernatural.
I was half afraid I was going to be hit by a truck or something just for God's irony.
I finished this book that I was working on.
I've been working on for years, and I'm really, really excited about it.
It's kind of in the genre of truth and beauty.
It's a nonfiction book about reading and literature and movies and what we can learn from secular work about God.
And I'm really excited about that.
I thought the last 25 pages may have been the best thing I have ever written in my entire life.
I signed a contract for a short story that's very important to me with one of the best, the best, the only really great remaining magazine for crime short stories.
I have an amazing project that popped up.
I can't tell you about this project, but I know some of you are going to love this project, but it popped out out of nowhere and just started rolling, got an offer on it right away.
This morning, I'm in the hotel just polishing up the show, and one of my stories was announced that it was going to be anthologized.
It was great.
And also, and I don't want to make this about Candace, but I wish her well.
I like her personally, but I wish her well.
But personally, I'm really thrilled that the Daily Wire has righted itself and is going in the direction I think it should be.
And there were other personal moments of joy.
It was just this great thing.
Now, every now and again, just for hilarity, every now and again, I don't go on social media all that much, but I do go on when I want to post something I've read or written that I think people will like or just comment on something.
And every time I would go on, it would sound kind of like this.
It was like this little doorway into hell with people strangling on rage because of what I said in the last show.
Christ is king, you lousy SOP.
I don't know, maybe it was something I said, you know.
I said to my wife, you know, gee, the people in hell hate me.
First, I was thinking, you know, I kind of felt bad for them because, I mean, they're so angry and they're so full of hate.
And at first, I thought I was going to ignore them.
But I have to say, there were some things I said.
You know, remember I told you that I got the news, or I knew the news about Kansas had gone public just an hour or so before I go on.
And I take a lot of time putting the show together and thinking about what I want to say.
So I was talking, you know, without that kind of preparation.
And there was one thing I said that even good people misunderstood.
So this is Good Friday.
And Good Friday is a day that always really fascinates me.
And the reason it fascinates me is it was probably the saddest day that ever existed in history.
It was a day when even saints panicked, ran, and despaired, right?
It is a time when people thought, you know, we know the happy ending, but they didn't, right?
And so this is the time when they thought the story was over.
All the hopes are dashed.
Everything, the worst thing.
And I'm seeing that a lot on the right right now.
I'm seeing a lot of people on the right who have given up on the story of America.
They've given up on the story of democracy.
They're embracing kinds of bigotry that I thought had been purged out of the conservative movement by William F. Buckley.
They've got this new paganism that's kind of going on, even though sometimes it masquerades as Christianity.
It's actually a kind of paganism.
They want to bring back the church over the state, which is an un-Christian idea.
That's not what Jesus said.
And these are the councils of despair.
And I definitely understand why people are despairing.
It really does look like things have gone awry.
It looks like the left has so much power.
Who knows what's going to happen in this next election?
And the thing is, despair is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know, you can lose a fight, but you can't win a surrender.
So I've decided, I made the decision that at the end of the show, I'm going to talk about some of the trends I'm seeing today during the show and some of the stuff I was going to talk about last week.
But at the end of the show, in the final chapter, I'm going to talk this week about the Bible and why I read it the way I do.
And I want to clear up the one thing I said that people misunderstood, but also I want to confirm some of the things I said that people protested against.
It'll be my Easter message to the people.
But we'll get to all that later.
Now let's go to chapter one, Don't Marry, Be Miserable.
You know, I sent a portrait to Paint Your Life a few years ago.
It was really fun.
The process was quick and easy, and I thought their work was great.
I held it up on the air.
It was really good.
It really looked like a portrait, and I'm confident you'll like it too.
With Mother's Day and Father's Day around the corner, Paint Your Life is the perfect gift for someone you love.
They create hand-painted portraits that fit almost any budget and are a great gift idea for your mother, your father, or both.
Paint Your Life seriously transforms your photos into one-of-a-kind, beautiful hand-painted portraits by professional artists.
What I really love is how they can create anything you imagine, put yourself in a location you've always wanted to go to, or add a lost loved one to a special occasion to create the portrait of your dreams.
You can choose the artist and art medium, whether that's oil, acrylic, watercolor, or charcoal.
They even have a great selection of quality frames.
Their user-friendly platform lets you order a custom-made hand-painted portrait in less than five minutes.
You'll get your professional hand-painted portrait in as little as two weeks.
Give the most meaningful gift with paintyourlife.com.
There's no risk.
If you don't love the final painting, your money's refunded, guaranteed.
And right now as a limited time offer, you get 20% off your painting and free shipping.
To get this special offer, text the word Andrew to 87204.
That's Andrew to 87204.
Paint your life, celebrate the moments that matter most.
Message and data rates may apply.
See terms for details.
So here's a small, but I think symbolic story out of Florence, Italy this week, which you probably didn't hear about, but it made me laugh.
Supreme Court's Impact on Public Sentiment00:14:57
And it also kind of made me laugh, but it also symbolized something that I think is going on that's not that funny.
The lady who runs one of Florence's major cultural institutions, the Academy Gallery, a German woman who runs, it's called the Gallerie del Academia, has been fighting and winning court cases to keep people from profiting off reproductions of Michelangelo's David,
you know, the famous statue of David with a slingshot over his shoulder, a nude, gigantic statue, absolutely beautiful, one of his great, great works, one of the great works of art in Western history, in any history.
But people take pictures of his penis and they put them on t-shirts and postcards, and this lady feels that these are degrading to the statue, to this great work of art.
And in Italy, there are laws that allow you to protect works of art.
And she's been suing people and she's been winning.
And there's a lot of angles to this story.
The lady who runs the gallery, like I said, she's German.
And so even the right-wing government headed by Maloney, they kind of think that they should get rid of foreigners in their institutions.
And there's a Florida angle because there was a small classical school in Florida that had a kerfuffle when parents complained about a teacher teaching the David because of the nudity.
But the symbolic thing to me is the statue of David, although this was not its original purpose, it very quickly came to be seen as a symbol of the Florentine Republic, right?
One of the earliest republics in history, and the heroic defense, the defiance of that republic against these powerful popes and princes who wanted to take it over and turn it into a tyranny.
And so here he was with his slingshot, the little guy ready to defend the city and the republic against the Goliaths that were trying to come down, the tyranny and theocracy.
And his nudity has always been an issue.
Queen Victoria had a replica of it, I think, in the Victoria and Albert Museum.
She put a fig leaf on it.
But it just struck me as funny that what was once a symbol of freedom, a noble, classical-looking symbol of freedom that classicized the Bible is now all about the schlang.
It's all about his penis, which to me is what America looks like exactly, right?
Our founders gave us a system for limiting power so we could have our own ideas and build families and associate with who we want to and worship God as we want to.
And all we care about is schlang.
All we care about is that we can bang whoever we want without any moral reference, without any consequence, or as Barack Obama said, without being punished by a baby.
And that's all anybody talks about or cares about.
That's all the law and all the Democrats, the left is selling us all the time is you've got to be able to cut your pieces off and turn yourself and dress in a woman's outfit and then everything will be so much happier.
Instead of, you know, you should be reading your tradition and arguing your point of view with all the force you have and nobody should be allowed to stop you.
So the Supreme Court, just really interesting.
The Supreme Court heard this case, FDA versus Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, where doctors who oppose abortion were challenging the FDA's loosening of the rules that allow you to get the abortion pill.
What's it called?
I can never remember what it was called.
But anyway, you know what it is, the abortion pill.
And the FDA allowed nurse practitioners, Pristone, McPriststone.
But anyway, they allowed nurse practitioners, not only doctors, to prescribe it.
They increased the gestational age cutoff to 10 weeks from seven, and the doctors challenged it.
And the court, as far as you could judge from the questioning, was very, very skeptical about whether they were going to do anything about this, not because of the moral issue, but because of legal technicalities, let's call them, whether the doctors actually had standing to sue.
And so people are fighting very hard for this.
And I saw recently at the State of the Union address, people were all dressed up in white.
The Democrats were all dressed up in white to defend abortion.
They stood and applauded abortion whenever it came up.
And I, you know, I found it kind of depressing.
I said to Ann Coulter when she was here for an interview, I said, you know, John Adams said our Constitution is only for a moral and religious people.
And that doesn't, to me, look like what a moral, religious people look like.
And maybe we're not the people who can be governed by the Constitution anymore.
And Media Matters published that, and they said, look, what are you saying?
I thought, where's the lie?
You know, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
What got me about this is I'm watching this attempt to make sure that people can take a pill that will wipe out the baby that's inside them, that two years after the Supreme, almost two years since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, a very moving moment that I really hoped would be a change in the culture, a record number, according to a new Fox News poll, a record number of voters think abortion should be legal,
with two-thirds favoring nationwide law guaranteeing access.
Support for legalization is up mostly by double dishes across the board since April 2022, two months before Roe was overturned, which means that before Roe was overturned, we were winning the cultural fight because people were beginning to see what abortion was.
They were beginning to see what we were doing.
They were beginning to see what this country had turned into.
But since then, we have gotten, the dog that caught the car, we have gotten very morally pure.
We're demanding that all our politicians, you know, have a complete ban and a federal ban and things that people just don't want.
And as we do our usual conservative, I'm angry, angry routine, and everybody's got to be pure, pure, pure routine, and never mind the politics.
We've got to just force people to do it.
The left is doing what they do so, so well, which is changing the culture, getting into the culture.
Remember Abraham Lincoln in one of his debates with Stephen Douglas, you know, he's sometimes accused of being a hypocrite because he didn't want to abolish slavery.
He just wanted to prevent it from spreading.
He wanted to abolish it, but he knew he couldn't.
And he said, public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
He who molds public sentiment goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or pronounces decisions.
He makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to be executed, which is why I got into talking to conservative people because I realized they had lost the culture, where the ideas are shaped.
So Stephen Breyer, remember the former left-wing Supreme Court justice, has been making a round selling his new book, which is basically there to defend, to attack the present court and to defend abortion.
Just listen to this little cut of Wolf Blitzer on CNN interviewing former Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer.
Among other things, you've said that on its current path right now, the Supreme Court is producing, and these are your words, a constitution that no one wants.
What are the implications of that for the country?
That's not a good implication for the country.
And where I say that frequently was Nino Scalia and I used to discuss in public the differences in our approach to the Constitution.
I remember.
And statutes too.
And he would say, I have too complicated the system.
Only you, Stephen, can do it.
And then I'd say to him, but if we follow you, Nino, we'll have a Constitution that no one would want.
A constitution that no one would want.
And I've heard some of these debates between Scalia and Breyer.
And what Scalia was saying is, how can we, what he believes in is pragmatism, Breyer.
He says, you know, we have to take into account the fact that society changes, opinions change, public sentiment changes.
And Scalia would say, read the document.
What do they mean?
That's the law.
If Congress wants to change the law, let them change the law.
It's not our job to legislate.
And he would say, you can't just make up the law.
And Breyer says, you will get a constitution that no one wants.
See, what the founders thought was that the Constitution would shape the ideas of the people because these would be the laws under which you lived.
And those laws would protect your freedom.
But people don't want freedom.
The Bible tells us this.
Remember, Moses does miracle after miracle to free the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt.
And the minute they get hungry, they say, where's our food?
When we were slaves, we had food.
Why don't we have food?
People want to be taken care of.
They do not want freedom.
And so the left is playing always, always, through their Hollywood media, through their news media, through their academies where they educate our children, whom we pay them to educate.
Through everything they say, everything they do, they're moving to change what people want so they will become slaves.
Here's an article from Alyssa Finley in the Wall Street Journal.
The U.S. has a pregnancy crisis, according to liberal medical experts and the press.
They're referring to America's supposedly soaring maternal mortality, not its declining fertility.
The U.S. stands out, quote, this is from the American Medical Association.
The U.S. stands out among high-income nations for its alarming incidence of maternal deaths despite substantial health care spending.
Evidence and experience show us conclusively that the risk of death during or after childbirth is approximately 14 times greater than the risk of death from abortion-related complications, the AMA says.
The only thing that's unfortunate about this, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's National Vital Statistics System reports that maternal mortal rates in the U.S. have roughly tripled since 2001, and this is nearly three times as high as rates in other developed countries.
Only one problem.
It's not true.
There's a checkbox that they added that adds to death certificates in 2023 to identify women who had died while pregnant or between 42 days and a year of when their pregnancy ended.
And once you analyzed it, taking that out and only making sure that they died of complications from childbirth, our rates are the same as anybody else.
So every day, look around, look around.
Every single day, the leftist media is filled with stories telling you, hinting, just feeding this information into your brain that you've got to do this thing.
You've got to learn.
Abortion's got to be available and you should have one.
The Atlantic does a big piece saying those genetic tests, you know, like the DNA tests that you can send in.
They've shown that many more people were born from incest than we think.
There are no figures involved in this article at all, none.
But now we find out these people get tested and they find out their father is also their uncle or whatever.
And so we know there's a lot of incest going around and this is something that appeals to people.
If you were impregnated through incest, a terrible, tragic, wicked situation, you should be allowed to have an abortion, although I don't know why that stains the actual child who's inside you is just another person.
But the New York Times has a story about a horrible genetic defect in it.
It's really clever.
It tells the story from the point of view of a mother who said, I'm not going to let my baby die, even though the baby's going to be suffering.
Then talks about the suffering of the baby and the trials of the mother.
And the mother finally says, you know, I thought nobody should have an abortion after this, but now I see this is not for everybody, right?
And then the New York Times says thousands of women each year become pregnant with fetuses that have this terrible genetic defect and the number of babies born with trisomy 18 may rise because of the Supreme Court's decision in 2022.
I always love when they use the future tense.
It may rise, says someone at the New York Times.
Look around, look around.
As the election gets closer, you're going to see it more and more.
They are selling this all the time because they're changing minds.
They are changing minds.
They even want to make sure that people don't give up birth control, right?
They really have this thing about babies.
They don't want to be born.
The Washington Post, where democracy dies in darkness, they have a wonderful, if you have a morbid sense of humor like I do, they have this thing, women are getting off birth control, a mad misinformation explosion.
And who do they blame for this?
Us, the Daily Wire.
The Daily Wire is saying that the side effects of birth control can be bad.
And there's this wonderful line.
You know, they're blaming Ben and Matt and all this stuff.
And they say, doctors, listen to this.
Doctors worry the profession's long-standing lack of transparency about some of the serious but rare side effects has left many patients seeking information from unqualified online communities.
In other words, because we lied, because the medical community lied, people don't trust us anymore.
What's up with that?
We lied and now you don't trust us and you're going to other people like the Daily Wire where they don't lie.
That's a terrible thing.
Not a good argument.
You know, the thing about birth control, and I'm not telling anybody to get off it or take it or not take it or anything like that, but Mary Harrington is right when she says birth control changes the meaning of being a woman and maybe even eradicates what it means to be a woman.
And there's a price for it.
Everything comes at a price.
So yes, it has made it possible for you to degrade yourself and sleep with anybody you want and not get pregnant and wake up in bed with somebody you don't know because you got so drunk the night before.
So yes, you're free, hooray.
But it means the meaning of being a woman has become completely amorphous.
Nobody knows what it is.
My son, Spencer Clavin, no relation, has a wonderful essay on chivalry up at Fairer Disputations.
I love Fairer Disputations.
It's where all these brilliant women who I'm the first person to have noticed them, the brilliant women who finally figured out that feminism was a bad deal, but they can't quite bring themselves to say it.
So they call themselves, I don't know, reactionary feminists or something like this.
But Spencer quotes a woman writer who says, I think it would be such a funny way for feminism to end.
Her name is Generva Davis.
Funny way for feminism to end if someday we get artificial wombs and parents get to choose the body of their child and they all choose male.
And females can be at long last wiped from the face of the earth.
Because, because when you take away the meaning of a woman as mother, as homemaker, as nurturer, when you take away the meaning of that, then our troublemaking friend Pearl Davis, you know, we love her as a troublemaker, who says men are better at everything.
Well, men are better at everything that men are better at.
But women are better at being women and they are value added to society in a big, big way.
So now what we have is a situation where we are free and we're miserable.
We are free to be sexually promiscuous, but we have to kill babies.
And killing babies makes people miserable.
Sometimes they don't know it because they've told to shout their abortion.
Why do you think they're shouting?
Doing the wrong thing makes people miserable over time.
That's why we have a God who forgives us, because if you go to him and repent, say, I did a bad thing, he will forgive you.
He will lighten that load.
But if you're afraid to face your shame, if you're afraid to face your guilt, you're going to be carrying around this moral disaster of sexual freedom.
You know, this is the other thing.
Doing the Wrong Thing Makes People Miserable00:03:13
We did a bonus video where I watched this stupid show on Peacock, which is NBC.
This is the NBC, of course, is a company that hid the Harvey Weinstein scandal because they didn't want to offend Harvey because they had connections with Universal Studios in Hollywood.
And now they're running a show on Peacock called Thrupples.
And it's one of those, you know, theoretically true things where they bring couples together and introduce a third person.
And it was pitiful.
It was pitiful.
They're selling this stuff because what they're trying to do, Ross Staufat writes about this in the New York Times.
He says they've got a quest for a new vision of sexual morality.
They don't want to give up the sexual, the degrading sexual freedom.
They don't want to give up the degrading sexual freedom.
But because of Me Too, they realize women got burned, right?
The left always does this.
They screw things up, and then they can't just say, we made a mistake, let's go back.
Oh, you know, defunding the police, not a good idea, hire back the police.
They can't do it.
So they have a new solution that's going to solve everything.
And now we're going to have thrupples, and that's going to change everything.
Let me show you a chart.
This is a chart, another article in The Atlantic, I have to say.
This is number three, the American happiness rating.
If you're not watching, you're just listening.
Right around 2000, it plummets, but it starts plummeting right around 1970.
Increasing unhappiness.
This is from an Atlantic article from last year by a woman named Olga Kazan, and she's quoting a study by Sam Peltzman.
And here's what she says, all right?
He's an emeritus economics professor at the University of Chicago.
And you're just watching this thing.
It's just a descending wave of happiness down to 2020, where it's really getting low.
And as you know, we fell off the list of the top 20 happiest countries this year on the happiness index.
Okay.
After slicing the democratic, the demographic data every which way, income, education level, race, location, age, and gender, Peltzman found that this happiness dip is mainly attributable to one thing.
Guess.
Guess what it is?
Married people are happier and Americans aren't getting married as much.
In 1980, 6% of 40-year-olds had never been married, but today it's 25%.
That's amazing.
The recent decline in the marriage share of adults can explain statistically most of the recent decline in overall happiness, Peltzman writes.
Married people are much happier than the unmarried, according to this data.
Looking at those same 100 people, 40 married people will say they're happy, 10 will say they're not happy, but single people are about evenly split between happy and not happy.
So there's a difference of like 40%.
It doesn't really matter if you are divorced or widowed or have never married.
If you're not married, you're less likely to be happy.
So we've made ourselves miserable.
You know, Cicero said the fruit of too much liberty is slavery.
And once, David, the man who killed Goliath, the young man who killed Goliath, he stood with his slingshot to defend liberty, but it was a different kind of liberty, wasn't it?
It was liberty of thought.
It was liberty of belief.
It was liberty to pick our own rulers, our own governors.
Now we have liberty for one thing.
Everybody's taking pictures of David's schlang because that's all we care about and it makes you miserable.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
Liberty's Price00:02:10
I'm a big fan.
I think married people should have a lot of it.
But clearly, when you make that the only freedom that you have, the fruit of that liberty is slavery and the fruit of slavery is misery.
So you'll be glad to know I'm back to not sleeping, but I can fall asleep by using Beam Dream.
Beam Dream contains a powerful all-natural blend of racey, L-theanine, apigenin, and melatonin to keep you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up refreshed.
They always have the list of these complicated things, and I looked them all up before I started to, before I agreed to do the advertisement.
They do work.
I've used it.
It does work.
It tastes good, and it lets you just glide into sleep.
It's not your run-of-the-mill sleep.
It's a concoction carefully crafted to help you slip into sleep without the grogginess that often accompanies other sleep remedies.
Sleep is the foundation of our mental and physical health.
That's why I'm such a wreck.
You must have a consistent nighttime routine to function at your best.
And today, my listeners get a special discount on Beam's Dream Powder, their best-selling hot cocoa for sleep with no added sugar.
It's now available in genuinely delicious flavors like cinnamon, cocoa, chocolate, peanut butter, and mint chip.
Better sleep has never tasted better.
Just mix Beam Dream into hot water or milk, stir or froth, and enjoy before bedtime.
If you find yourself battling the bedtime blues, give it a shot.
You'll be glad you did.
If you want to try Beam's best-selling dream powder, take advantage of 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com slash Clavin and use code Clavin at checkout.
That's shopbeam.com slash clavin with my promo code Claven for up to 40% off your order.
You can drift off to sleep thinking, how do you spell Clavin?
It's K-L-A, E-A-N.
Chapter 2, The New World Order of Misery.
I'm sorry, this is a miserable show because it's Good Friday.
This is the day of despair.
But believe me, there's Easter coming and we will end on an Easter note.
I want you to listen to a Washington Post think piece, that's kind of a contradiction in terms, a Washington Post think piece by Farid Zakaria.
Backlash Against Freedom00:06:49
Farid Zakaria is a liberal.
They always call him a moderate.
I guess he's a moderate liberal.
I want to be fair to the guy.
He's written a new book, and they have an expert excerpt of his new book.
And it's shocking how blind the mainstream left has become to who they are.
It is shocking because they're surrounded by people who agree with them.
So nobody argues with them.
Nobody says, you know, this actually isn't making any sense.
So what he's talking about, the subhead of this, or actually the headline is, how to beat the backlash that threatens the liberal revolution.
He says, since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, engineered by three major conservatives, Reagan, Thatcher, and the Pope, right?
That's who engineered that.
It wouldn't have happened without them.
Since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, the world saw the liberalization of markets, the democratization of politics, and the explosion of information technology.
Each of these trends seemed to reinforce the other, creating a world that was overall more open, dynamic, and interconnected.
But now, now there's been a backlash.
A backlash is beating back against this freedom, free trade, the global world, all this wonderful stuff, the democratization of everything.
What's to blame, right?
Populism, Donald Trump, essentially.
He says, the democracies of the West all face a rising tide of illiberal populism that is skeptical of openness, globalization, trade, immigration, and diversity.
I love the way they always say immigration.
They don't say invasion or illegal immigration.
There's always immigration, like we hate foreign people coming to America, which is hilarious since every single one of us is a foreign person who came to America.
The result has been that across the world, we are living through a democratic recession, rising tariffs and trade barriers, growing hostility to immigration and immigrants.
I love it.
Ever expanding limits on technology and information access, and even skepticism about liberal democracy itself.
He says, we all want to be free.
Another untruth, right?
I told you already, people do not want to be free.
They want to be taken care of.
You have to teach them to be free.
You have to have laws that train their souls to be free.
We want choice, autonomy, control of our lives.
And yet we also know that when human beings embrace freedom, they can end up feeling profoundly ill at ease.
Freedom and autonomy often come at the expense of authority and tradition.
As the binding forces of religion and custom fade, the individual gains, but communities often lose.
So the individual gains, but communities often lose.
The result is that we might be richer and freer, but also lonelier.
We search for something somewhere to fill the infinite abyss.
And now he says, when governments define what makes meaningful life, directing people to serve God, the fatherland, or the communist cause, the results are usually disastrous.
It puts in place, but what a free government does is it puts in place a set of procedures, elections, free speech courts to help secure liberty, fair play, and equality of opportunity.
So a government that opens its borders to an invasion of unchecked immigrants, so that cartels are camped on our border in Camo, bringing in fentanyl that kills almost 100,000, somewhere between 70 and 100,000 people a year, and laundering that money through the Chinese mafia who have gotten in here somehow after bribing the Biden family.
I don't know how that happened.
That's not really protecting us.
That is not protecting us.
You know, yesterday, I think it was in New York City, our president, President Rhododendron and Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were at a fundraiser with Lizzo and Steve Colbert and all this stuff.
President Trump was at a funeral for a police officer who was a father of a little baby who had been murdered by a guy who'd had something like 21 outstanding charges against him.
That's what President Trump was doing, because they're not enforcing the law in New York.
So people are not keeping us safe.
A government that censors Hunter Biden's laptop, that covers up an influence peddling scheme that obviously put the Biden family on the payroll of the communist Chinese, that covers up health information so that Big Pharma can make a fortune off an untested vaccine that covers up dissenting opinions and investigates Elon Musk simply because he lets conservatives speak.
That's not a government that is actually not telling us what to believe.
A court system that charges one side's most popular candidate with crimes that no one else on the other side is charged with.
You know, Trump won a big victory this week where an appeals court cut his bond on that stupid, you know, he overvalued his properties case.
They cut it from $454 million to $175 million.
And you think like, wait a minute, you know, you cut it by $454, you cut it by, I'm sorry, $275 million.
You want to make a comment on why it was that high?
Well, no, they don't want to make it because obviously it's dishonest.
And now he has to go to trial for paying off Stormy Daniels to keep her mouth shut.
None of this stuff is happening, what Fareed Zakaria says.
In fact, the government is introducing a new way of living, a way of living alone, a way of living without reference to morality.
In the Pacific Northwest, if you want to adopt a child, you have to support, quote, support a foster child's SOGI, which means his sexual orientation and gender identity expression.
You have to support a child's SOGI by using their pronouns and chosen name and respecting the child's right to privacy concerning their SOGI and connect a foster child with resources that supports and affirms their needs regarding race, religion, culture, and sogi.
They're not allowing us to choose our path to meaning.
They're telling us their path, and it is a moral, materialist, disgusting, empty, vacuous path.
People are not going to religious services anymore.
Three out of ten people in the United States attend religious services.
Why?
And that's increased since what they call the pandemic, but is really the lockdown.
We were told not to go.
So to call this a backlash is dishonest.
This is a takeover of the moral, ethical thinking and the freedom of thought and the freedom of expression that we had here, that we built this country for.
Yes, we're individuals, but we want to be free to form associations in church, in families, in groups that we gather, even groups that the government doesn't agree with without being investigated by the FBI.
We want to be able to stand up for what our children are being taught without being investigated as terrorists for the FBI.
We are individuals, but we don't live individually.
We live in a society.
We live together or we die alone in misery.
And that is what the government is trying to engineer.
And they don't like the fact that sex is not enough to keep us from fighting back.
You know, when I first started doing Genucell ads, I only half believed what they were saying.
Living In Society00:15:27
And then I tried their spot corrector, and it worked exactly the way they said they did.
Whether you have three minutes in the morning or 30 minutes with Genucell, you can keep your face wrinkle-free.
If you're not sure which product is for you, a great place to start is with Gen90, the new instant wrinkle treatment from Genucell.
Gen 90 instantly reduces wrinkles anywhere you use it, around the eyes, laugh lines, and even chin.
It starts working in seconds.
You'll never worry about your skin or your confidence.
Again, Genucell's technology is luxurious, nourishing, and silky smooth.
I mean, there's a reason why Genucell has 400 times the customer loyalty of other skincare brands, and it just gets better.
Genucell's XV is a collagen builder moisturizer with vitamin C and hyaluronic acid in a pure natural base for stunning results day after day.
Right now, both Gen 90 and XV are included in their best-selling package on sale now.
Make your fine lines and wrinkles disappear wherever they are before you even leave the house.
Order right now at genucelle.com slash Clavin and get a free spa box with two luxury skincare essentials and free shipping.
Hurry before they sell out at genucelle.com slash Clavin.
And I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, how do you spell Claven?
It's K-L-A-V-A-N.
No ease in Clavin.
Just make it look this easy.
Chapter 3, Misery Online.
This is the last misery chapter, but we've got to go through it.
I was talking about the hell on X, all these people screaming at me and yelling at the Daily Wire and yelling at Jeremy.
And I was, I think mostly me, I think it was mostly me.
I was talking about this, that it's like hell.
And I used to say that I very much suspect that people who are in hell don't know that they're in hell, that they think it's great and that's what makes it hell.
Because what's funny, what was sad about it is they kept saying things like, you know, obviously look at these comments.
The Daily Wire is finished.
Jeremy's reputation is over.
Clavin is down the drain.
And I thought, no, that's in hell, but in reality, everything's fine, you know?
And I thought like that, Kierkegaard said that it's the nature of despair, that it doesn't know that it's despair.
And I think that that is something that has happened to us since the invention of the smartphone and social media.
Now, this may pass.
I believe it may pass.
We haven't acclimated ourselves to this new technology.
But there's a new book out by Jonathan Haidt, very intelligent guy.
I really like reading his books.
He's going to come on for an interview in a few weeks, I think.
But he's got a new book called The Anxious Generation, How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.
And he talks about the costs of the smartphone.
Like I said, everything, even good things, they come with a cost.
And he says the cost of the smartphone is time, the huge amount of time that we spend on it.
40 hours a week for preteens.
For teens age 13 to 18, it's closer to 50 hours a week.
And obviously, it's worse, of course, for poor people, for blacks, Latinos, for LGBTQ people.
So they are more and more isolated.
And children and adolescents, he says, need a lot of time to play with each other or just hang out face to face.
We all remember this from being a kid.
Your peer group becomes everything to you.
That's how you move from your parents and your family group into society.
And now they've lost that.
And of course, they lost it even more during the lockdowns during this screw.
It's called the Great Screw Up.
That's what we should call it.
The percentage of 12th graders who said that they got together with their friends almost every day dropped sharply after 2009.
And on top of this, the smartphone has increased anxiety and cut down on outside time.
And this has aided parents and authorities to add to their anxiety.
You know, I've noticed this just personally.
I've been an outdoorsman all my life, and I love hiking.
I love going into the woods.
And I don't have a good sense of direction, so I'm a good trailfinder.
I have to be a good trailfinder.
I never used to have a phone, obviously, before there were iPhones, before there were cell phones.
I just used to hike in the woods.
And sometimes I'd lose myself and I'd be there at night.
I used to go fishing down in this reservoir at the bottom of a hill in the woods.
And sometimes I'd get so involved in my fishing, I'd forget that the sun was going down.
Finding your way in the woods at night is extraordinarily difficult, but I never worried about it.
I knew I found my way.
I always found my way.
Once they invented the cell phone, I noticed that, like, I'll hardly go to the bathroom without my cell phone because what if I get locked in?
You know, you know, because now that you have it, you think, well, I'll take it with me.
I'll make sure.
Maybe I'll get a flat tire.
So I'm just going to the store, but I'll take it with me in case I get a flat tire.
You go into the woods and you think, well, I better take my cell phone in case I get lost.
I mean, I've fallen.
I've taken falls in the woods and all this stuff.
And now it increases your anxiety.
So Haight talks about this.
And I don't know if this is a TED talk.
He's talking at the National Summit on Education.
And he points out the way we now treat our children, looking at a picture of a playground of a school in Berkeley.
It's cut five.
This is an elementary school in Berkeley, and you see kids on a playground, and there's a sign behind them.
What does the sign say?
Football rules.
And it gives you rules for how to play football.
Resolve disagreements with rock, paper, scissors.
The worst, here's the worst one of all.
Football, and this is touch football because it says, only touch, no tackle.
Touch football can only be played if an adult is supervising and refereeing the game.
Because if not, children might learn skills of negotiation and conflict resolution that are necessary for democratic society.
Okay.
This system, this anxiety, makes it harder for us to argue, to think, to go off on our own, to want to be on our own.
He talks about what it creates as a cycle of incompetence.
Cut six.
What schools are doing when they do this nonsense is they are creating a cycle of incompetence, which goes like this.
Adults now assume social and physical incompetence of children.
They can't do anything.
They'll get hurt if they try.
So we ban risky play and conflict.
We don't understand that they're anti-fragile.
They need risk.
They need setbacks.
They need conflicts.
So we ban things that would help them grow.
Guess what?
This causes kids to be socially and physically incompetent.
What effect does that have?
It validates our assumption that they are socially and physically incompetent.
Now, I love Jonathan Haight for feeling this only happens to children, but no, it's happened to us too, right?
You make people, you assume people are incompetent.
You don't let them do things.
They become incompetent.
You say, see, I told you you were incompetent.
That's the story of the shutdown, the pandemic shutdown, the great screw-up that has destroyed our trust in all the people in charge who should leave.
Every single one of them, anyone who was involved should lose his reputation, his office, his position, should be gone.
They all should be gone.
None of them is gone, which further increases the way we feel about them, that we're surrounded by incompetence who hate us.
Now, I've played this.
Here's a montage I must have played now 15 or 20 times.
And I love it because it's so revelatory.
This is a montage from our friends at Grabian of what the news media was saying after Donald Trump got COVID, came back, took off his mask, and said, do not let it dominate your life.
Don't be afraid of it.
Don't let it dominate your life.
And this is the news media, what they said.
It's just so horrible, so destructive to say, I feel better than I have in 20 years.
That he's saying this is so disrespectful.
The president says it's no big deal.
I mean, it's outrageous.
It is insulting to the people who have lost loved ones.
It is insulting to every American who wears a mask.
I mean, it's disgraceful, Wolf.
It's absurd.
Don't tell your supporters, don't be afraid of COVID.
Everyone should be afraid of COVID.
It's okay to be afraid of COVID, and it's okay that it's dominating your life because it has dominated your life.
If Jake Tapper doesn't do well at the last judgment, he's just going to be locked in a room with that clip playing over and over again for all of eternity.
Governor Ron DeSantis, who did really well during, I've been reading more about this, and he did really well during the pandemic and better than Trump.
He did better than almost anybody.
He has now signed a bill that will prohibit children younger than 14 from joining social media in the state of Florida.
Those who are 14 or 15 will need a parent's consent before they join a platform.
And he makes a really interesting point that the outdoors are now safer than the indoors.
It's cut seven.
You look at young kids and you know there's dangers out there.
Unfortunately, we've got predators who prey on young kids.
And it used to be, well, if they're out somewhere, maybe they're not being supervised.
Maybe some predator can strike.
Now, with things like social media and all this, you can have a kid in the house, safe, seemingly, and then you have predators that can get right in there into your own home.
You could be doing everything right, but you know how to get and manipulate these different platforms.
So we really are more unsafe than we were, not because of the way we're being, not because we're being kept inside, but because we're being kept inside this little box.
You know, studies have shown, and I think everybody knows this, that negative words spur clickbait.
You get more clicks if you use negative words.
So if you use words like harm, heartbroken, ugly, troubling, angry, you get more clicks.
They teach this in journalism school.
They teach you in journalism school how to get more clicks.
And this also has a moral point.
And this is something that a friend of mine said to me, but he doesn't like me to use his name.
I just don't want to act as if it were my idea.
He pointed out that suddenly everybody's using the term sex workers to mean whores, to mean prostitutes.
Now, I'm very much against this.
When they say sex work is work, that's what your pimp tells you.
Sex work is degrading.
Sex work is mental illness.
It's the result of mental illness.
Even in places like Nevada, and I researched this for one of my mystery stories for Damnation Street, even in places like Nevada where prostitution is legal, the prostitutes still have pimps who beat them up and steal their money.
Because they have an illness, right?
This is an illness to sell your body, to give your body to a man for money.
That's not why, you know, that's not why it was given to you.
That's not why you should give it to someone else.
So they teach this in journalism school, and it not only erodes our confidence, it erodes our morality because they use sex workers because sex makes people click.
That's why they use it.
They don't use it because they think a prostitute is not mentally ill.
They use it because sex makes people click.
So they use the word sex worker.
So let me sum up these three chapters before we get to our final one.
We have a motivation, sexual pleasure without responsibility, to become self-degrading people and immoral killers of children and abusers of women.
We have a motivation to become unchaste, to create unchaste women who are not suitable for marriage or self-respect and who have done things that they now regret and can't repent of.
Misery, recipe for misery.
We have a government that is not fostering the ground on which free men and women gather in associations that bring joy, like marriage, family, and society and parenthood, and instead is pushing an immoral rewrite of human meaning.
The result is misery.
And we have a device that has sucked us out of the real world with its joys and pains.
Real world that's full of tragedy and comedy and delight and love and beauty, and taking us into a world where negativity is rewarded and positivity is punished, and where you get the sense that your rage and your unhealthiness and your misery is the world, instead of just this little place inside the world.
And more than anything, of course, our religion is under siege.
We are losing our faith.
They're teaching us to lose our faith, just like they're teaching us to relish and elevate abortion.
And that's where I want to end the final, with a final chapter on faith.
The Divided States Of Biden, with Benjamin Shapiro, has its second episode out, focused on how fentanyl has become America's silent epidemic.
Many know what fentanyl is, but do you know that it's the number one killer of adults ages 18 to 49, claiming an average of 295 lives per day?
And the Biden administration is completely silent.
In fact, Biden's policies make it easier for fentanyl to be distributed and sold across the country, allowing it to fall into the hands of any American, many of them very young.
Ben uncovers the fentanyl crisis in one of the cities most affected in the latest episode of the Divided States Of Biden.
Watch The Divided States of Biden, Fentanyl, America's Silent Epidemic, now exclusively on Daily Wire+.
All right, final chapter.
How can we be saved?
So the people in Hell hate me and everybody's yelling at me and everyone's yelling, that's fine.
But good friday, the day of despair, has come to an end with Easter and I want to make it clear.
I want to talk about what I believe and why I believe it.
Now the thing I was unclear about and this is my fault I came on.
You know I could feel a little tingle in the back of my head when I said it, so I probably knew I was being unclear.
I said at one point that Ben Shapiro is in such a network of relationships that finding Christ would tear his life apart, and people took that to mean that I thought he shouldn't do it or that that you shouldn't risk that for Christ.
Now i've given up a great deal in finding Christ, not just friends, but money and loved ones who don't associate with me anymore because of my finding Christ.
That was not what I was saying, and if I was unclear about that, my fault, because good people mistook me too, with a lot of other people just distorting what I said.
But what I meant was that was my personal observation that Ben in this network he's in of relationships, is doing great work, and I deduced from that just it's not theology, it's my personal observation and deduction I deduced from that that God put him in that place for a purpose, because I believe he's doing great and important work in that place and doesn't is not ready for him to leave and go take care of him.
But still, this is where God was put.
That was my like I said personal observation and that made me personally believe that God using him for the purpose, just like Jordan Peterson, and that's not a theological point, that's just a personal judgment of the real facts on the ground.
But I said something else that made people upset and that is and this I stand by absolutely I said when I see Go using Ben or when I see him using Jordan Peterson, where they are, i'm not worried about their immortal souls, i'm not worried God will abandon them, having sent them into the field where they're doing great work.
And I'm going to explain that in turn, I want to explain that in terms.
I want to explain my theology.
And people, you know, I've told you often, I'm not a theologian.
I'm just a believer.
And some people say, well, you can't have a theology if you're not a theologian.
You just have to read the catechism or go to the pastor.
But that's like saying you can't have a philosophy if you're not a philosopher.
Everyone has a philosophy.
In fact, everyone has a theology.
And some just follow along with the catechism and they believe what they're told.
I read the Bible every day.
I read a lot of great theology.
And I have beliefs that are my own.
And they're not unique, but they are my own.
And I will defend them.
And I want to defend them today because I don't often read from the Bible on the air, so it sometimes sounds like I'm just making stuff up.
Worshipping Personal Beliefs00:13:31
Here's where I am.
I'm an Anglican Catholic, and that means I'm Catholic.
I believe in the Nicene Creed, but I'm not attached to the Vatican.
So the Pope can say something I disagree with.
There are many things that Roman Catholics believe that I don't believe.
Every week I go to church, I say the Nicene Creed.
That's the central statement of Christianity.
For most churches, even Protestant churches, I believe in one God and three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
I believe that Jesus was incarnate from the Virgin Mary and the Holy Spirit.
I believe he was crucified.
I believe he was resurrected, that he'll come in glory to judge the living and the dead, one baptism.
You know, you know the Nicene Creed probably.
I believe in every word of that.
I don't have to cross my fingers when I'm saying that.
That's what I believe.
That's who I am.
That is the core of my beliefs.
But there are other things that are controversial, and I have an opinion on them.
And in the Anglican church, you don't have to believe in them.
They're sometimes called pious beliefs.
You're allowed to believe in them.
You can't go wrong by believing them, but you don't have to.
One of them is the perpetual virginity of Mary.
I'm not going to discuss this at length.
I'm just going to say I don't believe in it.
I don't believe that the scripture upholds it.
I don't believe the scripture describes it.
But this is something that drives people nuts.
I made a joke in the Truth and Beauty that when I have Protestants and Catholics over and they start arguing about this, I'm afraid to go inside and refill the pretzel bowl because I'm afraid I'll come back to the patio and they'll have killed each other.
They'll have restarted the 30 years war.
This is something people disagree with very passionately.
I believe it's an important theological point and I've stated my opinion on it, but I totally respect other people.
But I'm going to tell you the honest truth.
In the end, I don't really care.
I didn't know the woman.
I don't know what she was doing in her personal life with Joseph.
I think it's an important, interesting topic, but I don't think it's going to be on the final exam.
I don't think that that's what God is looking for from me or anybody else, that we get our, maybe from some people who are priests and theologians, but that we get our theology and the details of our theology exactly right.
Transubstantiation the same way.
People have killed each other over it.
I think it's an important issue.
I have my beliefs on it.
But in the end, I don't think that's the final exam.
I don't think that's how we're being judged.
And so I'm light about it.
I have no problem embracing somebody who disagrees with me about it.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe the judgment will be a short answer quiz.
You know, did you know this?
Maybe it'll be the catechism.
I don't know, but I don't believe that.
That is not how I live.
That's what I don't believe.
Here is something else I very much believe that is different than some people.
I believe in doing my job and leaving God, trusting God to do his.
I don't have firm opinions about who will be saved on the last day because no one is going to ask my opinion ever.
I get no votes.
All I do know is that it's going to be perfect.
God will be perfect.
His justice will be perfect.
His mercy will be perfect.
He hasn't asked my help.
He doesn't need my help.
So I don't judge where other people will spend eternity.
Not my job.
I've got one job as I see it, which is to come before God every day and submit myself to be changed, to tell God the truth, to open myself up to him and let him make the changes in me that he wants to make.
And I can feel it.
I know the way it works.
You're moving toward, I believe, the image of God within you, which is different than the image of God within everyone else.
That's why you're an individual.
And what I find is every day in his own good time, he opens a space for me to move into, and then I have to use my will to move into it.
When I do think of judgment, there's some people who are universalists, they believe everyone will be saved, some people who believe only those who are in the Catholic Church will be saved.
Some people who believe that it doesn't matter because it's all predestined, all that stuff.
I believe that I don't know.
I am absolutely positive that I don't know.
But this is what I think when I think about judgment and where people stand.
Here's Jesus Christ.
You remember him, right?
He was speaking in Matthew 7.
He says, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my father in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and done many wonders in your name?
And then I will declare to them, I never knew you.
Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.
I never knew you.
You called me Lord.
You said I was king.
You said, Christ is king.
I never knew you.
Doesn't matter.
Even when you said it on X, I never knew you.
Here's something else.
Jesus says in Matthew 25.
When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory.
All the nations will be gathered before him and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats, the sheep of his followers, the sheep of the people that he is going to accept into the kingdom.
And he'll set the sheep on his right hand, the goats on his left.
And the king will say to those on his right hand, come, you blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food.
I was thirsty and you gave me drink.
I was a stranger and you took me in.
I was naked and you clothed me.
I was sick and you visited me.
I was in prison and you came to me.
And the righteous answer him.
Listen to their answer.
Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you?
We're thirsty and give you drink.
When did we see you a stranger and take you in or naked and clothe you?
When did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?
And the king will answer and say to them, I say to you, in as much as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.
Right?
So what does that mean?
The righteous didn't even know what they were doing.
They didn't know they were serving the king.
They didn't know they were being good to him or doing what he wanted them to do.
They weren't aware.
They just did it.
Now, this means something, right?
It means that it was not about what they did.
It was not about their good deeds.
It was about who they were.
Jesus says something to a Samaritan lady.
I believe in the Gospel of John.
The Samaritans were not of the same bloodline of the Jews, and they had become Jews later and they didn't get the doctrines right.
And he says to this Samaritan lady, he says, you Samaritans worship what you do not know.
We worship what we do know for salvation is from the Jews, right?
You don't know what you're worshiping.
You're not getting it right.
You don't worship it.
But when Jesus says love your neighbor, and somebody says to him, well, what does that mean?
What's my neighbor?
He tells a story, right?
He tells a parable.
He tells a story about a man who gets mugged and is lying injured on the side of the road and a priest goes by him.
Now, this is a guy who's saying all the right things.
He knows all the right things.
He knows all the rules.
He's got the theology down pat.
And he walks past the guy who's been mugged.
And then a Levite, he's the guy who does the ceremonies in the temple.
He goes by, but he can't do it because he's on his iPhone saying, Christ is king, you know.
But he's not watching the skyline by the side of the road.
But a Samaritan who worships what he does not know goes by and takes the man to the inn, binds his wounds, give the innkeeper money, says, listen, I got to go do my business, but I'm going to come back.
Let him run up a bill.
If he runs up a bill, I'll pay for him.
And Jesus says, be like him.
Be like the guy who worships what he doesn't know.
He's not worshiping right, but he does.
He is.
It's not what he does.
It's who he is.
He doesn't even think about it.
He just does what he does.
He loves that person.
So what is it about the Samaritan?
It's not his acts of charity.
It's not, it's who he is.
And how do I know this?
It's because of one of the most famous passages in the Bible and one of the greatest pieces of writing in the English language.
It's 1 Corinthians 13.
And you've all heard it because you've all heard it at weddings.
But listen to it carefully.
Listen to what Paul says, okay?
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love, agape love.
He's talking about the kind of love that makes the Samaritan pull over to the side of the road and help this guy.
He says, if I do not have agape love, I'm a resounding gong or a clanging symbol.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have a faith, that can move mountains.
That's a faith in Christ he's talking about.
If I have a faith that can move mountains, but I do not have agape love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship to martyrdom, but do not have agape love, I gain nothing.
You have faith that can move mountains.
You give all your money to the poor.
You're doing good deeds and you have faith and you're going to church.
You believe.
You understand.
You understand all the mysteries.
You're a better theologian than I am.
You got all the theology, but you don't have agape.
You're not 80% there.
You just need a little agape to get over that last space.
You're not 50% there.
You're halfway, but you got to have agape.
You have nothing.
Zippo, right?
You have nothing without agape love.
That's, I think, the transformation that God is looking for.
You know, you didn't let God do the work.
You were so busy arguing about Mary's sex life and transubstantiation and what you were supposed to say online and what you were supposed to declare.
You didn't have in your heart the agape love.
So you have nothing.
And Jesus says, I do not know you.
I do not know you.
That's how I read the gospels.
That's what I think it means.
That's what I think God is looking for from me.
That's the only thing I have to contribute because I have no vote on the judgment.
I have no vote on the judgment.
I think he's looking for me day by day, little by little, in his time, not mine, to transform myself into the image of God, which is the image of agape love, because we know that God is love.
And so I know this makes people angry, and I think it makes them feel less special and less protected in their faith.
But I'm just going to tell it to you honestly.
I think it's best to worship what you know.
I do.
I think it's, first of all, it's just enlightening.
It lets you know a lot of things.
But I don't have a vote on the last judgment.
And neither does the Pope and neither does Nick Fuentes or Jeremy Warren or anyone else.
There's a qualification for voting on the last judgment, and it's not photo ID.
You have to be crucified in the act of being the incarnate God.
If you didn't do that, you have no vote, right?
There's only one person has a vote.
And I believe the judgment will be perfect.
And I believe there will be those who come before the king and say, we called you Lord.
We cast out demons.
We had faith that could move mountains.
We posted Christ as King on X.
And Jesus may say to them, I do not know you.
Maybe not.
Maybe everybody will be saved.
But I believe there will be people.
There will be some, to whom the king says, inherit the kingdom because you serve me.
And they will say, served you.
We didn't even know you.
We don't even know who you don't know you.
And the king will say, well, remember when you spoke up for the women who were raped to death on October 7th?
Remember when you used your powerful voice on the Daily Wire to stand up for babies who were killed and their parents who were killed in front of their children?
Remember when you did that?
That was me you were talking for.
You were speaking up for me.
And you know, while I'm pissing people off, while I'm pissing people off, there may be a Muslim guy behind him.
And he says, while you were speaking up for the children dying now in Gaza, am I speaking up justly for them?
You were speaking up for me.
So I'm not going to judge because I'm not the judge.
And I'm going to go on trying to reach the image of God within me and to see the image of God in the guy across from me, no matter what he is, because that's my job.
That's my assignment.
That's what I was told to do.
So this is Good Friday.
This is the day when even the saints despaired and panicked and ran away and abandoned God because despair is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But on Easter, Mary Magdalene went to Christ's tomb and it was empty.
And she began to weep because she thought maybe they'd stolen the body and she didn't know where it was.
And she turned around and she saw Jesus standing in the garden and she didn't know who it was.
Now there's a woman who knew him well in life.
She knew him well.
He had saved her.
He cast out demons from her.
He saved her, as the legend goes from prostitution.
She didn't recognize him.
She thought he was the gardener.
She thought the guy was the gardener wandering around.
And then he spoke her name.
And then her eyes were opened.
So I am not worried about Ben or Jordan or a lot of my friends who are in a different place than I am religiously.
The righteous in the end may not look like what you think.
The saints may be people you despise, like the Jews despise the Samaritans, and like many people who are Christians now, who call themselves Christians, despise the Jews.
They might have met Jesus on the street and not known it was him, but gave him what they had to give him.
They reached out to him.
They gave him what he needed.
They served the least of them.
And there will come a time, there will come a time in his good time when he speaks their name and their eyes will be open and their knees will bow to the king.
So to the people screaming at me on X, let me, I can tell you this.
I can guarantee you, here's something I can guarantee you.
That's just what I believe.
But here's something I can guarantee you.
I am not worth destroying your life with rage and hatred, which I can see you're doing.
I can see you doing it.
Not worth it.
Let it go.
Let it go because you do not know.
You do not know who you're going to meet on the last day and you do not know who is going to inherit the kingdom.
And it may not be people you like.
So my advice to you, but also to all of you who are my friends and my listeners, whom I love, have a wonderful, wonderful Easter.
Because whether you know his name or not, Christ has risen.
He has risen indeed.
I'm going to stop here.
I don't have time for the Clavin clapbacks.
I'm going to go into the member block.
We'll talk a little politics, have a little fun before we're finished.
But the rest of you can become a member today by going to dailywire.com/slash subscribe.
Use code Clavin at checkout for two months free on all annual plans.
This time you get away with not, you don't have clavenlessness because you have Christ and that's kind of better.