Donald Trump’s Taiwan call—mocked by The Times as reckless—exposed media hysteria over his defiance of China, while his spokesman’s absurd clarifications ("Chinese checkers") underscored the establishment’s disdain. Andrew Clavin counters with John Bolton’s push for stronger Taiwan ties amid Beijing’s South China Sea aggression, framing Trump’s move as a corrective to Obama’s appeasement. Trump’s Ohio speech redefined patriotism as inclusive yet unapologetic, clashing with leftist identity politics, while Michael Knowles highlights Europe’s populist rise—anti-immigrant but not fascist—as proof Trump’s vision resonates beyond borders. The episode ends with satire exposing performative outrage over his election, revealing deeper fractures in America’s cultural war. [Automatically generated summary]
The New York Times, a former newspaper, has unleashed a blistering attack on Donald Trump for talking to world leaders in a manner that was not approved by the New York Times, a former newspaper.
In an editorial pretending to be a news story, Times editor Blithering Prevarication III lashed out at Trump for talking on the phone with Taiwan President Tsai Ing-wen.
The editorial said, quote, this phone call threatens to infuriate the oppressive thugs in mainland China by making them believe we support freedom and stand against tyranny, a complete reversal of the foreign policy of the last eight years, unquote.
President-elect Trump sent out a tweet describing the call, saying, quote, turns out president of Taiwan is a girl.
Wonder if she's cute.
Some Asian chicks are, unquote.
Trump's spokesman, Ivan Alcer, later issued a clarification of the tweet, saying, quote, the two world leaders had a wide-ranging conversation about important issues.
They discussed whether Chinese checkers are in fact Chinese.
They mourned the death of the guy who invented General Seoul's chicken.
And they plotted an invasion of the Chinese mainland.
They look forward to continuing their friendship until everyone dies in a fiery nuclear blast, unquote.
The New York Times editorial also criticized President-elect Trump's call with Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte because Duterte is a free-wheeling lunatic who once called President Obama a miserable SOB.
Trump tweeted after the Duterte call, just got a call from some crazy guy in the Philippines or someplace.
Wonder if he'd make a good Secretary of State.
Trump spokesman Alser issued a clarification saying the president-elect and Duterte had a polite conversation, but only reached agreement on the fact that President Obama is indeed a miserable SOB.
Finally, the Times launched a powerful attack on Trump's talk with Pakistan's Islamic strongman, Nursultan Nazarbayev, saying, quote, if this president is going to kow-tow to Islamic thugs, we see no reason why Barack Obama can't just go on being president.
Midwest voters just wanted to change to Trump because he's a white heterosexual, unquote, quote.
Mr. Trump sent out a series of tweets after the Pakistan exchange saying, quote, just spoke with Nursultan Nazarbayev, didn't tell him his name sounds stupid because he has a nuclear arsenal.
Presidential exclamation point.
Trump spokesman Ivan Ulser later made a statement on the call by driving his car into a lamppost at high speed while screaming out the window that we're all doomed.
Mr. Ulser survived the crash and has been offered a job at the Daily Wire.
Times editor Blithering Prevarication III continued to rave against Trump, but found that his voice kept getting higher and higher and he kept growing smaller and smaller until finally he was only two inches tall with a voice like a mouse that no one was listening to.
He then woke up in a cold sweat, relieved to find it was only a nightmare, but got out of bed and looked in the mirror only to discover that he'd become invisible.
He then woke up in a cold sweat a second time, only to find he was Dean Becay, the editor of the New York Times, and all his nightmares were true.
Church At Christmas Time00:04:39
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clavin, and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
I'm the hunky-donkey.
Life is ticky-boo.
Birds are winging, also singing, hunky-dunky-dee-dee Ship-shaped, ipsy-topsy, the world is a-biddy-zing It's a wonderful day, hoorah, hooray!
It makes me want to sing!
Oh, hoorah, hooray!
Alright, I'm here in New York.
You can tell by my New York hat, I have to let my friends back in California know that I couldn't hear the audio on that on the opening song, which will become a problem later on, so you might want to work on that.
You can see I'm in my hotel room.
It looks like a set from Law and Order.
It just needs a dead prostitute to flesh it out a little bit.
And I'm a little bit under the weather, if you can hear that, so I may lose my voice at some point, but we'll see.
Later on, we will have our, if our technology holds up, we will have our Nobel Prize winning cultural correspondent Michael Knowles on to talk, join us after the break, where we will lose you 15 minutes.
After 15 minutes, we'll lose you on Facebook and YouTube, and you'll have to come over to the Daily Wire to hear the rest.
And if you want to watch the rest, you've got to subscribe, and then you can be in the mailbag, which is uncomfortable and cramped, but you do get to ask questions.
So let me tell you why, stick the stupid hat up.
Let me tell you why I'm in New York, because it actually is a good story.
I was, I mean, I always have, I have a lot of family here, a lot of people I love are in New York, so I always have people to see, and it's been a very fun, joyful trip in a lot of ways.
But I was invited to come here to speak from the pulpit of the church where I was baptized, a very beautiful, you know, a landmark church in New York.
But after the election, certain, let us call them liberal, though maybe that's not the right word, leftist, certain leftist, powerful people at the church got upset that I was becoming because of my politics.
I obviously wasn't coming to talk politics.
I was coming to talk about our old friend Uncle God, but they got upset because of my politics and said that I shouldn't be allowed into the pulpit.
I was offered, they offered that I could come and speak from another venue after the service, but I turned them down saying I actually didn't want to come to church and make everybody unhappy at Christmas time.
It seemed like an all, it wasn't, it wasn't like a Shapiro thing where I was going to a university where their job is to spread ideas.
I mean, I would hate to think that somebody would come to church who was sick or in trouble or having money problems or something and wanting comfort at Christmas time and would come and find that there was all this controversy surrounding me.
But just to let you know that that's what's happening here, and we still have the open-minded, accepting, inclusive left is always with us, even when we are with God.
So instead, since I had a lot of time on my hands, I do have the picture of me at Trump Tower.
I did drop by Trump Tower, and there I am, just to see if they needed any help with the transition.
And, you know, I keep hearing about all the craziness here.
People in Brooklyn are going nuts, and it's all even, obviously with my church, there was all this hysteria, and it's all these left-wingers who are just going absolutely out of their minds about Donald Trump.
And you can see it, obviously, in the press.
But going outside Trump Tower, where they have to reroute the foot traffic so that people, only people who are staying in Trump Tower or live in Trump Tower can get there.
So you have to walk around it and go across to the other side of the street.
Everybody seemed very jolly.
Everybody here, of course, New York is just packed.
Midtown New York is packed, packed with tourists back to the room.
And everybody's being very jolly and very polite in a very upbeat mood.
There was one kook outside with an anti-Trump sign, and he really did look like a kook.
And other than that, there was just people kind of, it was all very exciting to have a president who's living in Midtown Manhattan.
So that was, that was really, really interesting, you know.
And one of the things about being in New York that I always love, and New York is a tough city for me because I can't stand the noise and how crowded it is, especially at Christmas time.
It's very beautiful at Christmas time.
But New York does make you love, if you're like me anyway, it doesn't make you love the multicultural fact of America.
You know, there's something about New York capitalism, the fact that people need to make money so they have to be polite.
And you just find everybody being very polite, very lovable, and every other person has a different accent.
The Islamic driver, cab driver who took me in from the airport, we came over.
There's a famous place where you come over the hill and you just see the Manhattan skyline spread out in front of you.
And he just, I just heard him say, oh, what a beautiful, beautiful view.
New York's Charm00:14:24
And it really is a wonderful picture of multiculturalism at its best and capitalism at its best because multiculturalism really only works where capitalism is, where people have to be nice to one another in order to make a living.
And so this brings me to our old friend, President-elect Donald Trump, and what I'm calling the new China syndrome.
I don't know if you remember the old movie, The China Syndrome, where there was a damage to the nuclear reactor core, and the China syndrome was the idea that the Corps would melt down and go through the Earth and come out on the other side of the Earth in China.
So that was why it was called the China syndrome.
So now what we have is every time Donald Trump does something, the media melt down and go through the earth into China, in this case, about China, because Donald Trump took a call from the Taiwanese president,
Tsai Ying-when, and this was supposed to be a horrible violation of protocol because since the 70s and 80s, there's been this thing called the One China policy, which is not, it's an agreement between China, what was then communist China and is now tyrannical, sort of communist China, and Taiwan, free China, that there is in fact only one China.
And it didn't say who was, but it just says that that's the policy.
What we agreed to, we agreed to the fact that they agreed to that.
We didn't say we agree with that policy.
We just said we agree with that.
And so we have limited our relations with Taiwan, with free Taiwan, so as not to upset the thugs who run China.
And obviously, Donald Trump took this phone call and whether he did it, you know, you never know with Trump, whether he's blundering into something because he doesn't know any better.
But he does have this guy, what's his name, Peter Navarro, I think his name.
That's his China guy, you know, his China advisor, and he does want to have better relations with Taiwan.
And, you know, so this may have been an actual policy move.
It was definitely a move, definitely a move to say to Barack Obama, he's done.
He's finished.
And that is part of why the press is going so nuts about it.
So George Sukalopagus has the vice president, Mike Pence on, Vice President-elect Mike Pence on, and he says, well, isn't this a violation of the China policy?
And Pence has one of the great responses ever.
See if you can play that.
I think the American people want, are encouraged, rather, George, to see that President-elect Trump is taking calls from the world, speaking to the world.
They know he's going to be out there advancing America's interests first with that broad-shouldered leadership that's characterized his entire life.
But I think it all begins with relationships, and that was nothing more than taking a courtesy call of congratulations from the democratically elected leader of Taiwan.
So no implications for the one China policy?
Well, we'll deal with policy after January the 20th.
This was a courtesy call.
And plus, I have to tell you, George, it's a little mystifying to me that President Obama can reach out to a murdering dictator in Cuba in the last year and be hailed as a hero for doing it.
And President-elect Donald Trump takes a courtesy call from a democratically elected leader in Taiwan, and it's become something of a controversy.
But I think the American people appreciate the fact that our president-elect is taking calls from and reaching out to the world and preparing on day one to lead America on the world stage.
So that had to hurt.
That had to leave a mark on old George.
It says, you know, Obama goes to Cuba and deals with the murderous dictator and becomes a hero, and Trump takes a call from the duly, freely elected president of a free country.
Excellent, excellent response from Trump.
And of course, from John Bolton, who is never shy.
He was on Fox.
John Bolton is my pick for the Secretary of State.
For some reason, he seems to have moved from the top of the list.
He's still talking to Trump, he says, but he had this to say on the call.
Well, it's ridiculous to think that the phone call upsets decades of anything.
But I do think it's important that people understand the president of the United States should talk to whomever he wants if he thinks it's in the interest of the United States.
And nobody in Beijing gets to dictate who we talk to.
My view has been for some time that we should be upgrading our relations with Taiwan.
And I know that's going to cause heartburn in Beijing, but it's a reality.
This is a nation of over 20 million people.
They have a democratic government, a free press, a free market.
They meet all the customary international law definitions of statehood.
So when a democratically elected leader calls the president of the United States, I say, you bet he takes the call.
So these are really new voices that we're hearing.
We remember how Obama started his presidency, traveling around bowing to people and apologizing to people.
This is a new voice we are hearing, and it really is important.
And I think that when the media go mad about this thing, partly they're going mad because they've gone mad.
Partly they're going insane because they're just now insane.
And now they're whining because Trump is using Twitter to get around them.
And they keep saying, well, we need a free press.
But the thing is, we haven't had a free press.
All we've had is Democratic operatives with press cards selling us the Democrat talking points so that it's a little bit late to whine about a free press.
Yes, we want a free press.
We want to rebuild the free press.
And they're only going to be doing that when they start to hire, when people like the New York Times, CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN start to hire some conservatives and start to have some balanced reporting.
So I don't care about this at all.
But let's go back to Bolton because he talks about the fact that China has been, judging the weakness of our leadership, has been getting increasingly aggressive with Taiwan and making a lot of noise about moving in on them.
And so this was a good response.
Honestly, I think we should shake this relationship up.
For the past several years, China has made aggressive, I would say near belligerent claims in the South China Sea.
They've declared it to be a Chinese province.
They've established a provincial capital.
And what that means is they're taking a vast amount of water out of being international waters or waters where there's a rite of innocent passage and making it into Chinese territorial waters.
They're trying to put their hands around the throats of the economies of Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and others.
It has a direct impact on the United States.
They also think Taiwan's a province.
So you want to talk about provinces, China?
We'll talk.
I love this guy.
I would love to have this guy as Secretary of State.
This would be really a new chapter for us.
But, you know, what he's talking about is the aggression in the China seas, that this is one of the reasons that Obama's neglect of our Navy has been so important, such a really bad thing to do.
You know, you forget, because we've so advanced, you know, we go to the moon and we have these jets flying all over the place.
You forget that most shipping, most power is still sea power.
And because our Navy is so far advanced, I mean, it's so far advanced over other navies, we are set to basically rule the world, to dominate the foreign policy scene for the next hundred years because of our Navy.
And Obama has been allowing our Navy to rot while China has been building its Navy up.
Not a good thing.
So what he's talking about is really important.
You know, it's important that we start to take this new aggressive attitude, not a war, you know, saber-rattling attitude, but an aggressive attitude.
All right, we're coming to the end of our 15-minute break, so we're going to have to say goodbye to Facebook and to YouTube.
But come over to the Daily Wire and you will get to see Nobel Prize winning cultural correspondent Michael Knowles and we'll finish this conversation about what I think Trump is up to.
Here's the thing.
You know, Trump has been sending messages these last couple weeks, this last week or so, at least had this tour.
And what I've been trying to say, especially to our never Trumpian friends and people who are, people like me who are worried about Trump because I'm conservative and I don't want to see conservative values get swept away in kind of big government totalitarian nationalism that is not conservative.
But one of the things I've been saying is this is a time when you have to send messages.
So we took that carrier thing I was talking about last week, you know, where he saved a couple of jobs at Carrier in Indianapolis.
And conservatives, the Wall Street Journal, good example, really unleashed a tough attack on that, saying, no, we don't want this bullying.
We don't want the president bullying businesses, telling him where they should put their jobs and all that.
Of course, we don't.
Of course, that's true.
But it was a good political move, and we have to allow Trump to make good political moves so he can set up his presidency, so he can be popular, so he can say, yes, now we're going to do these things.
If that becomes his policy, A, it's not going to work.
B, it's not going to be if we're not going to have a free country where companies decide for themselves what is important.
But one of the things that the carrier people said was, we did this.
We did this not just because of the carrot and stick, whatever he, the tax, the tax relief Indiana was offering and the possible threats against their dealings with the government.
We don't know that's true, but some people just assumed that they were kind of beating them over the head with that.
But one of the things that the carrier people said is, we did this because Trump is promising to make America a better place for business.
And I think that is what we're hoping for.
That's what we're hoping this signal is.
So this is also a signal.
And I want to just look at the speech virtually uncovered that Trump made in Ohio in what he's calling his thank you tour.
He said there are two parts of the speech that I didn't see anywhere else.
First, what he talks about, his conversations with world leaders and what they said to him.
And over the last two weeks, since our victory, I've spoken to many foreign leaders.
And I will tell you, they have such respect for us.
They all tell me how this was amazing.
They all tell me how they sat in their magnificent rooms in different countries throughout the world.
These are the leaders, the prime ministers, the presidents, all of them.
How they sat in their magnificent rooms watching in wonderment and hearing how people came to vote that didn't vote in 20 years.
People came to vote that haven't voted before.
And they had Trump shirts on and they had Make America great hats on and they had buttons pouring off.
And they thought it was amazing.
And honestly, one of them told me, I truly respect the United States again because of what happened.
Wow, that's really powerful stuff.
He's talking to those people and he's saying, you are what they respect.
You came out.
You turned out.
You are the people these people.
And he talks about the leaders in their fancy rooms.
You kind of imagine them sitting in Versailles, basically, with the gold chairs and the mirrors and everything.
And he talks about how they are respecting you, these guys out in the Midwest with your red hats.
You know, that this mattered to them.
I mean, when, you know, I'm sorry, but when was the last time we heard that voice coming out of our leader, you know, that voice of like, yes, or the rest of the world is respecting you because of what you do and because of who you are.
And now he takes it.
And this is really interesting because, you know, you kind of think of Trump as a guy who is fuddling around, who's fumbling around.
Obviously, I think those of us, well, those people who thought he couldn't possibly win, you know, have had to reassess that question.
He's obviously more, there's more method to his madness than we think, obviously.
And it's hard, but it is still hard to tell when he's sending a conscious message, making a conscious philosophy, a Trump doctrine, if you will, and when he's just, you know, talking.
But listen to what he says next about what his kind of American patriotism means.
We're going to seek a truly inclusive society where we support each other, love each other, and look out for each other.
And that means that people coming into our country have to be people that have the potential to love us, not to hate us.
We condemn bigotry and prejudice in all of its forms.
We denounce all of the hatred and we forcefully reject the language of exclusion and separation.
We're going to come together.
We have no choice.
We have to.
And it's better.
It's better.
We seek a future where every American child is fully included in the American dream.
We're going to have our own American dream.
And we're going to bring back the American dream.
The problems that plague our inner cities or that afflict poor rural communities that we do have those rural communities.
Some of them are poor.
We're going to help those people.
We're going to rebuild those communities.
They're not permanent features of American life.
They can be fixed, and together we're going to fix them.
We are going to fix them.
Okay, so before we go now to our culture, our Nobel Prize-winning cultural correspondent, Michael Knowles, let me just finish by saying what he just said there, that was really a complex thought that he was putting forward.
He was talking about inclusion, rejecting bigotry, all those things that are in fact American values that the left has co-opted in order to exclude the right, in order to exclude the things that make America America, in order to exclude the founding principles that make it possible for us to say e pluribus unum, to make it possible for us to welcome people who come here legally, who immigrate because they want to become Americans.
What he's saying is the logic of that is if you want us to love one another, you have to be people who love America because that's an American principle.
That's an American Christian principle that we all love one another and we're all included.
He's saying you can't be included in that if you do not follow that philosophy.
It's not just about the color of your skin, and then it's not about the color of your skin at all because the next thing he says is he's going to help people who are in trouble, whether they're in the inner city or in a country where people are just as poor.
He's essentially erasing this identity politics and reestablishing the e pluribus unum of America and saying if you don't sign on to that, you can't be part of that.
That is a new thought and it's, I mean, it's an old thought, but it's a new thought today.
And it really is interesting that he's bringing it back up.
He is reestablishing the basis of American patriotism, which could be a very powerful thing if he has the policies to follow it up.
Italian Right-Wing Populism00:09:17
All right.
Have we got Michael Knowles there by satellite?
This is the most...
There he is!
Hey!
This is the most amazing technological development.
I think this is the first time we've actually done this remotely.
We've actually been far apart.
How you doing?
I'm doing very well.
I'm doing very well, especially after looking at the results of these elections in Europe yesterday.
What is going on in Europe?
This is actually a worldwide Western movement, right?
That's right.
And there are, I think, two main takeaways from this.
One is the clear signal that this right-wing populism, anti-establishment, anti-technocratic, anti-bureaucratic movement is still happening.
I mean, this is clearly a global phenomenon, at least a Western phenomenon.
But it also, I think, clears up the picture that we have of what exactly this right-wing movement looks like, particularly in Austria.
But before that, let's just tell people that there was a referendum in Italy, right, about certain amendments.
That's right.
It's a little complicated, but there were two elections yesterday, one in Italy, one in Austria.
And I'd love to congratulate my Italian friends and relatives on their 66th government since the end of World War II.
So about one year per government.
So well done, Italians.
Yeah, and Italy government is great because nobody listens to them anyway.
That's right.
In reality, Italian government only controls about a third of the country.
Mafia is still very big in the South.
And the papacy exerts a lot of control.
So in reality, the government is only one part of the government.
Okay.
But they basically said, we're not going to streamline this government.
We want rules that let us get out of Europe if we want.
That's right.
The Italians, maybe in a less sophisticated way than the American founders did, constructed a constitution that basically precludes lawmaking.
It's very, very difficult to pass laws in Italy, which, you know, coming out of Mussolini is probably not a terrible idea.
Not a bad idea.
Yes, so there's this young technocrat, 41 years old, looks like Justin Trudeau, but much less of a laughing stock than Justin Trudeau, even after his defeat last night.
His name is Matteo Renzi, and he's the leader of the Democratic Party in Italy.
But the thing to know about Renzi is that he really is a technocrat.
Pro-Europe, young, rationalist kind of guy.
He also, unlike the Americans, he staked his political credibility on what he was trying to pass, just as happened with David Cameron in Brexit.
And when he lost, he resigned.
He voluntarily left power.
What's kind of interesting about this election is that even The Economist, which, you know, you called Dan Henninger the embodiment of the establishment, and The Economist is the official paper of the establishment.
Even The Economist suggested that people vote no on this constitutional amendment because a country that produces Mussolini and even Berlusconi is probably not the right country to have a lot of executive power.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
So what does it mean in terms of this populist movement, though?
What's going on?
Is this a knock against the EU?
It is certainly a knock against the EU.
And the really interesting takeaway from this election in Italy is who stands to benefit.
There's a populist right-wing movement in Italy called the Five-Star Movement.
And its leader is a man named Pepe Grillo, who he is a political satirist.
He's a comedian.
In the 1980s, he was banned from Italian television for attacking socialists.
He has ridiculous hair.
In 2007, he organized a V-Day celebration to remove criminal politicians.
Now, for those who don't know, who aren't from New York or who aren't Italian, V stands for a particular Italian word called vafanculo, which roughly translates to a third of what Donald Trump says.
And Pepe Grillo relies heavily on the internet.
He looks familiar.
We have recently seen this guy before.
So they've taken over a couple Roman cities.
His party's taken over Rome.
There's a chance that he leads the next government.
He was convicted of manslaughter some years back, so that may preclude him from taking over.
So these guys, when we talk about the right in Europe, obviously you always kind of, a little chill goes up your spine because we've seen the right in Europe before and they're not as swell as we are.
That's right.
Are these guys Nazis?
Are they fascists or are they okay?
Are they right?
Well, this is really, I think, the best takeaway from this because all of these guys, Nigel Farage, Bepe Grillo, Maureen Le Pen, these right-wing movements across, and Donald Trump, they do share something which is a little bit new.
It has a very anti-immigrant, very anti-refugee with the crisis that's happening in Europe.
It's a new movement that we are really seeing for the first time over the last few years.
And yet there was this guy in Austria, Norbert Hofer, who is a populist right-winger.
But he probably was a Nazi.
I don't mean to.
Yeah, we're all sure.
That's right.
We're good at that.
Thank you.
You know, his party, the Freedom Party of Austria, was literally founded by a Nazi.
And what's a little worrisome is this guy, Norbert Hoffer, at his swearing in, he did wear a Nazi symbol on his lapel.
He wore a cornflower.
So, you know, I think the nice takeaway, though, is, you know, the lefties in America have been accusing this right-wing populism of Nazism and fascism and this-ism and that-ism.
And what we see is across all of these populist right-wing elections, Trump, Brexit, soon-Marine Le Pen, Italy.
The only one that lost was when an actual Nazi was running.
Yeah, that's cool.
And I was very uplifted to see Trump make that speech about, you know, we're going to all do this together.
It's better.
It's better.
You know, that's what I'm saying.
Absolutely.
I think we're seeing here, the smoke is clearing a little bit, and we're seeing what makes up this new right-wing populism.
And the ones who let us show it are luckily the Austrians who, you know, fool me once.
Shame on you.
And luckily they've turned away from that.
It was good to hear.
Thank you, Nobel Prize winning Michael Knowles.
We'll see you in a little while.
I have to catch a plane, so I'm going to have to cut you off.
Safe flights, safe travels.
Thank you kindly.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yes, let me just end with stuff I like.
One of the funniest takedowns of the left I've seen in a while.
You've got to watch this song.
It's a takeoff on a Justin Bieber song.
It's white guys apologizing to women and people of color for the election of Donald Trump and in song.
Hilarious.
Take a break.
Hey, babe, I know that you're hurting.
I know that you gotta be.
I know I gotta act now.
I'm so done with complacency.
I wanna show I'm an ally.
You know I'm a he for she.
So just tell us what to do and we'll do it.
I wanna help with the cost of your shiny new IED.
I walk you to work every day because you know that you're saving me.
If you need an abortion, I'll go along with you and make your tea.
Cause I'm yearning to support you like Obamacare.
Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?
Cause we don't want control in our body.
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that we let you down.
Is it too late to go phone bank now?
I'll make you a cake for your wedding.
In fact, I just baked you four.
I'll marry your mom so she won't get deported to Ecuador.
You take my job.
You can have equal pay, then I'll pay you more.
I really don't need to hear white guys singing right now.
Wow, I didn't think of that.
Sorry.
Just like one more chorus.
And we should have done more for Hillary.
I'm fing.
It's too soon to say her name.
Sorry.
Yeah, we know America lets you down.
Let's go stand up for what's right right now.
I'm sorry.
Let's volunteer.
Sorry.
Here's a stack of books we're gonna read.
Let's give her money and that time.
Yeah, we'll know America lets you down.
Let's go stand up for what's right right now.
No, I love it.
I love that.
That is just hilarious stuff.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
And if you have an abortion, I'll make you tea.
That's wonderful.
All right.
I got to go catch a plane so I can see you tomorrow.