#931: February 2, 2014
In this installment, Dan and Jordan do the show at Ground Control in Toronto, where they take in the spectacle that was Alex's coverage of Super Bowl 48.
June 7, 2024 - Knowledge Fight
01:04:08
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys saying we are the bad guys. | |
| Knowledge Fight. | ||
| Dan and Jordan. | ||
| Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I hate you. | ||
| Andy, Andy, my name's your name. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for learning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, Alex, I'm a first time color. | |
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your world. | ||
| Knowledge Fight. | ||
| Dot com. | ||
| I love you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, everybody! | |
| Welcome to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Endgame started up. | ||
| That wasn't our theme song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was actually the revenge of Endgame. | |
| I'm Dan. | ||
| Wait, did we do this? | ||
| Yes, we did. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We are a couple of dudes who like to tour around internationally. | ||
| Sit around and talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Oh, indeed we are, Dan. | ||
| Jordan? | ||
| Dan! | ||
| Jordan. | ||
| Quick question, buddy. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What's your bright spot today? | ||
| Why don't you go first? | ||
| Because I can't find my mouse. | ||
| Wait, here it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Second show in a row with mouse issues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It has been an issue with mices. | |
| My bright spot is actually, this is our fifth show. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In eight days. | |
| And tomorrow, now my bright spot could be that tomorrow we're going to go home and sleep in our beds with my beautiful wife and my two perfect dogs. | ||
| It'll be amazing. | ||
| It'll be amazing. | ||
| But my bright spot is actually something else. | ||
| My bright spot is my wife made a paper mache pelican. | ||
| She did? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's an emotional support pelican. | ||
| I named it Mega Steve. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I've taken Mega Steve with me all across this trip and taken little pictures of Mega Steve kind of looking longingly out the window and sending them to my wife. | ||
| In New York, I almost knocked Mega Steve out the window because I didn't see him there. | ||
| That would have been tragic. | ||
| That would have been a tragedy. | ||
| The tragic end of Mega Steve. | ||
| But it has been a delight and I'm so very grateful to her. | ||
| And this is really because this is the only part of the podcast she listens to. | ||
| She listens to the Bright Spots to see if I have complimented her. | ||
| Or mentioned her in comparable greatness in any way. | ||
| So for this one, I figured that I would let everybody here cheer for my wife. | ||
| Pretty sweet. | ||
| It's pretty sweet. | ||
| Now that's how you fucking do it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Very romantic. | ||
| And because she only listens to this part, I'd like to say, hey, I think you're cool too. | ||
| She didn't hear it. | ||
| Tune out after the applause. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Dan, what's your bright spot? | ||
| That's a great bright spot. | ||
| I am tired. | ||
| I could easily say that my bright spot is the getting... | ||
| Is this your bright spot? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Toss that up here. | ||
| Okay, we got a shirt. | ||
| Now, how insulting would it be if this isn't my bright spot? | ||
| Oh, man, it even says what's your bright spot on the back. | ||
| I'm Neo. | ||
| I'm Leo. | ||
| I'm DZXClark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a... | |
| I'm a bright... | ||
| I am a T-shirt. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| If you have any more things to shout out, please wait. | ||
| As I've been saying on this tour, with shouting things out, stop it, but I appreciate it. | ||
| That's been my big line. | ||
| I feel like shit because I said it in a different show. | ||
| That's because people are so excited and people are so happy and we want to give everybody the best possible time. | ||
| And I understand it can be difficult when you listen to a show where 40% of it is a man unable to control his screaming! | ||
| You yell at your iPod. | ||
| iPod? | ||
| What? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So when you, you know, like most of us, when you turn your gramophone on. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| The cylinder starts to skip a bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scream at it. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| My bright spot is technology. | ||
| No, I'd like to apologize. | ||
| I had something else in mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER As many people know, I love candy. | |
| That's true. | ||
| I love candy, and we've been going around on this tour, and I've been eating a lot of candy. | ||
| But I have made it to Canada, and I am happy to say that Canada... | ||
| Oops, that's the wrong candy bar. | ||
| He likes candy. | ||
| There's multiple candy bars in here. | ||
| I really thought this was going to be a smooth reveal where I reach in the bag and like a magician pull out... | ||
| Look, it's Coffee Crisp. | ||
| I love Coffee Crisp, alright? | ||
| I swear it's in here somewhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Hey! | ||
| There it is! | ||
| Local candy. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Coffee Crisp. | ||
| This is why we gotta have production meetings before the show. | ||
| We gotta make sure. | ||
| If we had somebody there who's like, alright, here's the packet that we put in a pocket. | ||
| That's how you say it. | ||
| Packet in the pocket. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Packet of pockets. | ||
| I was digging in there and I accidentally found a mamba that I forgot was in there. | ||
| Similar shape. | ||
| So anyway. | ||
| How y'all doing, Canada? | ||
| I swear I didn't come up with the Toronto Canada A. I didn't do that. | ||
| We had nothing to do with it. | ||
| I probably would have. | ||
| When I saw it, I'm like, I didn't do that. | ||
| But I probably would have. | ||
| Here's what I've noticed about Toronto so far, is that y 'all put that on there like, well, of course they're going to make fun of us. | ||
| But we don't want them to feel bad about it, so we'll take care of it in advance for ya. | ||
| Toronto, Canada, eh? | ||
| That's what you guys like to call us, you fun Americans. | ||
| Pricks. | ||
| So, Jordan, today we have an episode to go over. | ||
| That is the reason for the season. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| And so today we're going to be going over February 2nd, 2014. | ||
| Alright, alright. | ||
| Hey, happy birthday! | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Are you 10? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out! | |
| Every single time we say a date, there's someone who's like, ooh. | ||
| Everyone's like, ooh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| There's such a mysteriousness to it. | ||
| Do you have any idea what was going on February 2nd, 2014? | ||
| February 2nd, 2-2-14. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| 2 plus 2 plus 1 equals 4. It doesn't. | ||
| Well, I almost freaked out there for a second. | ||
| No, no idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No idea? | |
| Because I almost just said May 2nd, so I definitely have no idea what's going on. | ||
| No, it's not May 2nd. | ||
| May 2nd did not come on February 2nd. | ||
| Was it a leap year? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was it? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| So here we are, Jordan, in the great land of Canada. | ||
| I was putting together the episode. | ||
| I like to try and do something a little bit special that's relevant to the places that we're going to, like something in the city's history, something in that. | ||
| I started to think about it, and I don't know anything about Canada. | ||
| I don't know shit about y 'all's history. | ||
| I was sitting around thinking, I'm like, Dudley do rights from here, right? | ||
| Can we do his birthday? | ||
| Fuck, I don't know. | ||
| I like Rocky and Bullwinkle. | ||
| It was a fun cartoon. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Were they Canadian? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet they were! | |
| But why would they be, if they made a big deal out of Dudley Do-Right being a Canadian Mountie? | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| Here's what's even more pressing, is if they're Canadian, why are the Russians after them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Moose and Squirrel. | ||
| Like, you guys didn't laugh enough, so you feel like you might know a reason? | ||
| Ah, shit, you don't remember what we were up to in the 90s, man. | ||
| We must get Moose and Squirrel. | ||
| Also, that cartoon's, like, from the 50s. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| They've remade it a few times. | ||
| I do not understand time. | ||
| So I was thinking about it. | ||
| I don't know shit. | ||
| Maple syrup. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I got nothing. | ||
| And so I was trying to scan my memories and think about what I would imagine was the most important day in Canadian history. | ||
| And I came up with October 5th, 2004. | ||
| That was the day that Time Stands Still, the episode of Degrassi where Drake got shot by Rick. | ||
| The first error. | ||
| It has to have been the most important day. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It resonates still. | ||
| Unfortunately, every episode from October 5th on Alex's show sucked. | ||
| Thankfully, that was a two-part episode, so I had another shot at this. | ||
| Maybe October 12th would work. | ||
| But it did not. | ||
| But then I realized those were the Canadian air dates for those shows. | ||
| Maybe I could cover the days they aired in the United States when I, in theory, watched them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Unfortunately, those dates, December 3rd and 10th, also sucked on Infowars pretty much every year. | ||
| I felt defeated. | ||
| And like I had hit a dead end. | ||
| But then I remembered that two seasons later, JT got murdered at a house party on Degrassi. | ||
| What the fuck is happening on Degrassi? | ||
| Well, see, what happened was that JT started dating Mia, who was from the rival school Lakehurst. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And Mia had previously to this dated bad boy Johnny DeMarco. | ||
| Bad boy Johnny DeMarco? | ||
| He turned his life around a little bit after the murder. | ||
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| After the murder that he committed? | ||
| He didn't commit the murder. | ||
| It was his friend who committed the murder. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It wasn't like, hey, listen, it's Canadian. | ||
| He only killed one person. | ||
| He was there, though. | ||
| He was at the house party. | ||
| I'm deeply ashamed I can't remember the name of the kid who actually did the stabbing. | ||
| He didn't have a name. | ||
| He did. | ||
| I bet he did. | ||
| Point of order? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Point of order? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| That's what I'll say. | ||
| So, I felt like that was probably like a culturally seismic event here, whenever JT got stabbed at that house party because he was dating Mia, who previously dated Johnny DeMarco. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| Unfortunately, the Canadian and American air dates for those episodes also sucked. | ||
| But then I remembered that the episode after JT gets murdered... | ||
| Sure. | ||
| The fallout from JT's murder. | ||
| Everyone's dealing with the murder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| It's an emotionally fraught episode. | ||
| His best friend Toby kisses Liberty, who had had a baby with JT previously. | ||
| And then they broke up because he was stealing pills from the pharmacy he worked at to sell on the black market in order to pay for his family. | ||
| So Liberty was like, I don't want any more of this. | ||
| But they still had feelings for each other. | ||
| And then after JT was stabbed, Toby kissed her. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| That is... | ||
| That's a lot going on for a high school. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It was the go-there-iest show on television. | ||
| That's how they sold it. | ||
| The go-there-iest show on television. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I also considered maybe Instant Star because I watched that too. | ||
| Y 'all made that one too. | ||
| That's your fault. | ||
| No, people do not care for Instant Star. | ||
| That was a show that was like American Idol. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It wasn't like it. | ||
| It was like a teen drama, but about someone who had won American Idol. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| The point is, February 2nd was the air date of the episode where Toby kisses Liberty after JT got murdered. | ||
| So we're doing the anniversary of that episode. | ||
| I'm going to be honest with you, that was not on my radar for guesses. | ||
| No. | ||
| Wasn't one I was thinking of. | ||
| I feel like people could have assumed maybe it would have something to do with Degrassi. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But, man, it would have hit much harder if those episodes where Drake got shot. | ||
| If those were any good on Alex's show. | ||
| I swear to God, I was looking at it from every angle. | ||
| The day after that episode aired. | ||
| Like how when Drake got shot. | ||
| He was running away. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| I also considered... | ||
| There's so many... | ||
| Nonsense episodes of Degrassi. | ||
| Anyway, February 2nd, 2014, turns out to be a Sunday. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And what that means is that it's a day that could be... | ||
| I don't know how to describe this. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Super Bowls are the end of football. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're the end of the footballs. | ||
| In America, we have something called football. | ||
| They have Canadian football. | ||
| In Europe, they call soccer football. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They have Canadian soccer. | ||
| And American football soccer. | ||
| This is Super Bowl Sunday, is what I'm saying. | ||
| Okay, it's Super Bowl Sunday. | ||
| February 2nd, 2014 is Super Bowl Sunday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, did you say there's no way to explain this? | |
| I don't know how I'm going to explain this to you. | ||
| Every year, roughly 60 of them are so now. | ||
| I guess what I meant is there's no way to describe this idiotically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Okay, I gotcha. | ||
| So we're gonna jump in here with the beginning of the show where it's Super Bowl Sunday. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know what that means? | ||
| Alex is mad that people like football. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, we're live already on the second day of February 2014, well into the second month of 2014. | ||
| And you won it, you got it. | ||
| Super Bowl XLVIII coverage. | ||
| We're going to talk all about Peyton Manning and what a great man he is and how he focuses on winning the game and what a leader he is. | ||
| Not on human colonies going into deep space and not on having sensory technologies, not on knowing how society really works and having a free country. | ||
| Man, if men got into all the factoids of freedom and business and life, we'd have men again. | ||
| Who were in charge and running their families and running their lives. | ||
| We'd have governments that were on short leashes, but we don't. | ||
| Because men now are experts on all the moves in the male soap opera that is the NFL. | ||
| I swear, I'm often accused of not liking fun. | ||
| And that's fair. | ||
| But this dude is a grump. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, my first thought is that it's not that much of a soap opera. | ||
| Drake hasn't even gotten shot in it yet. | ||
| Yeah, we'll see what happens when Kendrick is hired next year. | ||
| There aren't a whole lot of subplots in football, are there? | ||
| Usually it's about the winner and the loser. | ||
| I was excited when I heard this because I know that Alex has a lot of very weird feelings about football. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I knew that there was going to be something to mine in this hill. | ||
| And there was probably going to be some anger, some why don't people care about the things I care about. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But then also, secretly, Alex really likes football. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| If everybody paid attention to real shit instead of how Peyton Manning has averaged 396 yards per game this year. | ||
| Per game this year! | ||
| But I don't want to talk about that. | ||
| I want to talk about space colonies. | ||
| I don't want to talk about it. | ||
| So, because Alex cares so little about football, he sent multiple employees to the Super Bowl. | ||
| For tickets and everything. | ||
| It's going to be so expensive. | ||
| So I wanted to be fair today. | ||
| We're going to have live coverage from East Rutherford, where Jakari Jackson and, of course, Josh Owens are there reporting live. | ||
| They're about to go into the Super Bowl. | ||
| We're going to be covering it all for us during and after the game tonight, and then with Aftermath tomorrow on the weekday transmission. | ||
| But right before the show, I... | ||
| Came up with the bad column and the good column here of NFL and professional sports in general. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Okay. | ||
| Are we doing a pro-con? | ||
| Like, just putting it on there of just the NFL and pro sports in general. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Pro. | ||
| Sometimes I'm bored, so it's on TV. | ||
| Con. | ||
| Keeps people from defeating the Roman Empire. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Just regular shit. | ||
| We don't even need to play the next clip now. | ||
| That's basically it. | ||
| I wish we could turn this into a dry erase board for you to... | ||
| Also, I'm gonna say it. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| Listen, Josh Owens, he's the guy who wrote that whole thing about how awful it is. | ||
| I worked for Alex Jones. | ||
| I regret it. | ||
| He should have had to put in, at least I got to go to the Super Bowl. | ||
| At least I got to. | ||
| I've worked for a lot of shitty bosses. | ||
| They ain't never sent me to the Super Bowl. | ||
| I got to go to the Super Bowl. | ||
| It wasn't a good one. | ||
| Fair. | ||
| Fair. | ||
| This is remembered as one of the worst Super Bowls, I think, right? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I don't remember 2014 at all. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I texted my buddy, Nicky Gifts, about how I was doing this, and he's like, that was a shitty Super Bowl. | ||
| Like, how do you remember? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| It was bad. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, you ready for the pros and cons list? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| This is going to be great. | ||
| I'm going to tell you this in advance. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| The cons seem to drastically outweigh the pros. | ||
| I'm going to tell these in the next segment. | ||
| NFL sports is parasitic, gives false dreams, police state promo, government becomes the heroes, the basic corruption, the diversion from reality, the historical connection to gladiators and decline, bad role models, male soap opera, arrested development, anti-gun, pro-Obama, the NFL messages. | ||
| People only talk about sports, nothing else. | ||
| It kills the culture. | ||
| Use to suppress real male activities. | ||
| Takes over the area of the brain meant for planning and survival. | ||
| That is the bad areas. | ||
| And then we have the good areas here. | ||
| Pro-manly man. | ||
| No guts, no glory. | ||
| Work hard, you can succeed. | ||
| Sports good for kids and adults to play. | ||
| Keeping competition alive, something the establishment wants to get rid of. | ||
| Schools banning dodgeball. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Not letting people be A students teaches sportsmanlike conduct how to win, how to lose. | ||
| Because as the old Aerosmith song says, you've got to lose before you can know how to win. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Alex is more accurate with Aerosmith quotes than Thomas Jefferson. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| So yeah, here's what I love about that list. | ||
| That definitely was written down. | ||
| He definitely prepared that. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And apparently one of the pros of football is that they're banning dodgeball at school. | ||
| So, I want to sit with that list for a long time. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I really do, because I feel like a lot of stuff on the pro side is actually also part of the con side. | ||
| Okay, so if football promotes manly men, it cannot also destroy manly activities. | ||
| Well, what if being manly destroys manliness? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's heavy when you think about it. | ||
| See, we thought we were tuning in for an episode of Alex to complain about the Super Bowl. | ||
| No, we're getting deep into paradoxes. | ||
| See, now I want to spend even more time with this thing. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so, but there's so many cons. | ||
| There are so many cons. | ||
| Why did he bother writing the prose? | ||
| Just to be fair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Just to be like, I don't hate all of it. | ||
| I think that's the kind of list you dream of someone bringing out at the end of the night when you're at a bar. | ||
| It's like 2am, they're like, I want to talk to you about sports. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Give me that list now. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| What are you doing, sir, you lunatic? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Alex hates the Super Bowl. | ||
| He hates sports, although there's some manliness that's great that is a part of it. | ||
| But not enough. | ||
| But you know what he's doing after the show? | ||
| Probably watching the Super Bowl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You bet. | |
| He's going to a Super Bowl party. | ||
| He's going to a Super Bowl party. | ||
| After we check in with Jakari Jackson, who's there at the Super Bowl, our reporter, in the next segment, we're going to come back, recap the bad angle, and then I'm going to give you what I think's good about the NFL and how the NFL can go back to being wholesome. | ||
| That's why it was so popular, America's game. | ||
| Hey man, I like football. | ||
| Quite frankly, I'm going to go to a Super Bowl party after the show. | ||
| The whole issue is that it's not my god and I don't worship it and I better not see some anti-gun garbage or pro-Obamacare garbage or Obama garbage when I'm watching. | ||
| I would be offended if they were pushing anything but pro-liberty. | ||
| And Obama's the opposite of that. | ||
| We'll be right back with our reporter. | ||
| I just want to see the NFL support Ron Paul. | ||
| Why aren't there Ron Paul ads on the commercials? | ||
| What would that even look like? | ||
| Got some hissing? | ||
| Ron Paul provokes hiss. | ||
| That's going to be in the news tomorrow. | ||
| The crowd hates Liberty. | ||
| I mean, I just keep... | ||
| I can't imagine, like, Peyton Manning being like, do you know where to hide your guns? | ||
| Like, what ads for... | ||
| What pro-Liberty ads could be run by fucking... | ||
| Peyton Manning comes out and he's like, you know what? | ||
| The dollar's gonna collapse. | ||
| You better get your gold. | ||
| From Ted Anderson, this fella right over here, who Alex also paid to go to the Super Bowl. | ||
| He didn't. | ||
| I made that up. | ||
| The Coca-Cola horses are running over a fucking lib being like, anti-war! | ||
| Like, that's it. | ||
| And they're carrying food buckets. | ||
| So I think that a lot of this episode boils down to Alex complaining that sports... | ||
| And liking sports is unmanly. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's unmanly. | ||
| And I will say that it doesn't not drift into homophobia pretty regularly. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So here's a little fun example of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Super Bowl XLVIII, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I mean, this is just the height of manliness. | ||
| Our knights out fighting the other knights in simulated war while the whole real world goes around us. | ||
| And as we lose our Bill of Rights... | ||
| As we lose our Constitution, as we lose that battle, as we lose our borders and our sovereignty, as we lose our dollars value, none of that matters. | ||
| Because the only fight in the world, hidden for our morals, hidden for our children, it's for the ballgame. | ||
| And Jakari Jackson, with Josh Owens on camera, and again, you can watch feeds of this at Infowars.com forward slash show, folks, or Infowarsnews.com. | ||
| But for radio listeners, we are joined by Jakari Jackson there, at the site of super... | ||
| God, 48. I mean, this is our God. | ||
| Our God is Peyton Manning, who's totally focused on nothing but football. | ||
| That is so manly. | ||
| Now, if you're focused on your liberties, that's kind of weird and creepy. | ||
| Or if you're focused on sovereignty or the Second Amendment, that's weird and creepy. | ||
| But if you're focused on slapping men on the hind end and throwing balls and all this stuff, this is so manly right now, and I'm just intimidated by it, and that's why I'm talking bad about it. | ||
| You're a little mad. | ||
| It feels like he might be madder than he's saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's also a fun dynamic of this, like, I'm so mad that everyone pays attention to this, but also I'm going to pay tens of thousands of dollars to try and get a little attention off it. | ||
| I'm going to pay so much attention to this shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I can't, like, I now dream, you know, I watched SportsCenter when I was a kid. | ||
| I watched the people do the web gems. | ||
| Like, I can't imagine watching that, like, top ten with a guy who just is like, fucking look at this waste of everybody's goddamn time. | ||
| Oh, he dove and he caught the ball and then he threw it. | ||
| What did he throw it at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not the oppressor. | |
| On SportsCenter, they're like, that was quite a dunk. | ||
| But you know what would be even more of a dunk? | ||
| Going to space. | ||
| Be weird. | ||
| Everything in its own time, man. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's a great goal. | ||
| Great goal. | ||
| You know what a better goal is? | ||
| Becoming a type one civilization. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Fucking wasting our time. | ||
| Everything that is slightly entertainment is time you could be spending on space. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| So on this episode, one of the things Alex decides he's definitely going to do is take some calls. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| My eyelid's acting weird. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| Rub some dirt on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's going to take some calls. | ||
| He wants to hear about sports. | ||
| Because, of course. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| Yeah, he wants people just to call in and complain about sports so they can riff about it a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right, all right. | |
| It's fun. | ||
| I want to open the next hour up to your phone calls to have a discussion about sports. | ||
| And about propaganda in general. | ||
| But bottom line, folks, crank it up. | ||
| Nobody rides for free. | ||
| Don't ever think you're going to be a spectator your whole life and buy into something and that that's going to make you successful. | ||
| I can't tell you, almost everybody I know in Austin who's young is waiting to be a movie star or a rock star or a sports star. | ||
| And they're being used and fed on. | ||
| And they're working through the system when there's not even... | ||
| A slot for every thousand of them. | ||
| Nobody rides for free! | ||
| Crank it up! | ||
| Yeah, we're gonna take some calls on sports. | ||
| How many kids can he possibly know in Austin? | ||
| When he was younger, he probably knew a lot of kids in Dallas. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Then in Austin. | ||
| Is he still talking to kids in Austin right now? | ||
| No, but you don't need to talk to kids to know that there's crushed dreams everywhere. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| That is fair. | ||
| I see them every time I walk down the street. | ||
| So many people who want to make the show. | ||
| Who want to make the big time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Football teaches you that you can do it. | ||
| And that's bad. | ||
| But it's also good because it's aspirational. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ugh, shit. | ||
| Are there more spots open for rocket scientists? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is a great question. | |
| I feel like that's... | ||
| What's the roster of... | ||
| Right, I feel like that's one of those things that maybe we can't all aspire to become. | ||
| I'm a third-string rocket scientist. | ||
| In case the rocket scientist gets injured, I come in. | ||
| You don't want to see the backup rocket scientist. | ||
| Not a deep bench? | ||
| No. | ||
| We've seen that with Elon and SpaceX. | ||
| I think there's not a deep bench. | ||
| Not a deep starting lineup. | ||
| So I've noticed in life, just going through life, a lot of times people try to connect with you with small talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You know, there's just things like whether it's the weather or a sports team or something. | ||
| It's been hot out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| These are the kinds of things that are the interstitial to having an actual conversation and to bonding and that kind of thing. | ||
| How'd your dad die? | ||
| That's tough up front. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm not good at small talk. | ||
| Also still alive. | ||
| Are you planning something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is a bad elevator conversation then. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| Alex is mad that people try to bond with him and connect about sports. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he thinks that they're just obsessed with sports. | ||
| And then he gets a little bit more homophobic. | ||
| With a former, you know, Navy SEAL and governor of Minnesota. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't say that to them, but they're like, what do you think about the game coming up? | |
| Who are you going to bet on? | ||
| And I'm just like, uh, I don't know. | ||
| It's like the knowledge they think is only about that. | ||
| That's why I'm angry. | ||
| Look, I'm not even against gay people, folks. | ||
| Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of not being able to turn on a sitcom, a drama, a movie, a kid's show, and not have it crammed down my throat. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It makes me like, man, I am sick of this. | ||
| I'm tired of your agendas in my life, Obama. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right, buddy. | ||
| Calm down. | ||
| I've already gone on too long a journey in this clip to remember where we started. | ||
| We started with him being mad that when he goes on shoots, that people are like, hey, do you know what's supposed to be? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I'm going to try and follow along with what just happened there. | ||
| So he's going on a shoot. | ||
| And then somebody's like, hey, what happened with the game? | ||
| And he's like, you know what I'm not going to tell you? | ||
| That I'm a fucking important person that does all kinds of cool things. | ||
| I'm just so great. | ||
| I'm better than you. | ||
| You're a weak loser. | ||
| Here's what I am going to say. | ||
| Because he's the tip of the spear, man. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| This is a guy who's courageous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| This is a guy who tells it like it is, except for in slightly awkward interpersonal situations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gotcha. | |
| Then the path of least resistance. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| So then... | ||
| Thankfully... | ||
| He's not mad at gay people. | ||
| That's what I was wondering. | ||
| How did we get there? | ||
| I will tell you that that is as out of nowhere as it appears in this clip. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That was not something that relates to... | ||
| If you have broader context, it's not going to help you understand. | ||
| He's just mad, I guess, that there are gay people in commercials or something? | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| I don't think there's any... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's just a rejection of like... | |
| There's too many. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| There's not even a stereotype where they're doing something or just like, if there were eight, that would be the correct amount. | ||
| But there are eleven. | ||
| Too many! | ||
| And one in a Budweiser commercial. | ||
| Just keep your Obama agenda away from me. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Calm down. | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| Calm down. | ||
| He controls more commercials now than he did when he was president. | ||
| Obama? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's deep. | ||
| He's got a production company. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I just realized that Alex is as old as I am now when this episode was recorded. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That really bummed me out. | ||
| It really bummed you out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Save it for after the show, buddy. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Love you, Dan! | ||
| So... | ||
| Alex doesn't like something about sports, and that's fair. | ||
| And that is that sometimes they're fixed. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so he complains about that, which is fair, but I think he thinks that all sports are fixed. | ||
| And it doesn't mean most of it's rigged, but in top games, in playoffs, with key players, you better believe when somebody just drops the ball for no reason or somebody does something that doesn't make sense at a key point. | ||
| There's hundreds of millions being bet on that with the mafia, folks, and it's rigged. | ||
| That's another issue of why I'm sick of professional sports. | ||
| I'd rather watch people in real, you know, security cam fistfights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's millions and thousands of those videos. | |
| I'd rather go play golf with my buddies and bet ten bucks than sit there and watch someone else play a sport. | ||
| I'd rather go play golf and get my butt kicked. | ||
| With my buddies than go watch someone play golf. | ||
| I'm sick of watching everyone. | ||
| I want to live. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| I want to be on the field. | ||
| I want you to be on the field. | ||
| Get on the field right now. | ||
| Give me your take on professional sports. | ||
| Put down the Jack Daniels and give us a call. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| It's like early on a Sunday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put down the Jack Daniels and give us a call. | |
| So that clip was really interesting because I think you have two different complaints that are being merged together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And the first is this, like, sports are fixed. | ||
| I would rather watch two random people fight in security footage. | ||
| There's no fixing that. | ||
| That's a complaint that's like, I want to see something real. | ||
| I want to see something that's not set up. | ||
| But then the other complaint is, I want to go play putt-putt with my friends. | ||
| And that's just like, I want to be involved. | ||
| Those are two wildly different complaints. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I find it odd for a man to watch golf. | |
| Actually, maybe I don't. | ||
| Maybe this is the one thing where I truly feel like I understand Alex. | ||
| It's because my whole family loves golf. | ||
| They all watch golf on the TV. | ||
| And every time I watch golf with them, I do feel like the only thing I want to scream is, I wish I were alive! | ||
| This is bullshit! | ||
| So that response of like, I want to feel real. | ||
| I want to be doing things. | ||
| This is bullshit. | ||
| I get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| See, I had the counter... | ||
| I'm putting that in my cons list right there. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| I had the counter experience because back when I used to live with Nicky Gifts, he would always watch golf. | ||
| And I would always be massively hungover laying on the couch while he was doing it. | ||
| Like, thank God I'm not alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm in so much pain right now. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So I was trying to figure out what's behind this. | ||
| And I think that Alex might give a clue as to why he hates people who like sports in this next clip. | ||
| I'm on a team of liberty lovers worldwide who want the spirit of 1776 on a planetary scale versus the spirit of 1984. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I'm taking action and I believe in you and that's what this is all about. | ||
| So let's get that straight. | ||
| I don't know what it is about sports broadcasters when I go on their shows or see them on the street. | ||
| They're the ones that always make the joke at me and look at me like I'm a pile of crap because I don't know all the sports scores. | ||
| Hey, sorry, buddy. | ||
| I'm busy conquering the world for freedom. | ||
| I'm too busy making world history. | ||
| I'm too busy taking action. | ||
| I'm too busy being informed. | ||
| And if your candy butt knew about all that stuff, you might be more successful. | ||
| I'm sorry as a little man you want to look at me in the real game of life and say I'm a failure. | ||
| The truth is my world's bigger than sports. | ||
| The truth is my world's bigger than what the government tells me I should watch and what I should do. | ||
| I read Obamacare Bill. | ||
| I told you what it was going to do. | ||
| And now it's all come true like we told you. | ||
| Because I didn't know the football plays and I didn't know what color the jerseys were. | ||
| I knew what was happening on the real game grid on this planet in deep space orbiting that star. | ||
| We'll be back with the second hour. | ||
| Tell your friends to tune in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's Super Bowl 48! | |
| He hit that break hard. | ||
| That is just radio. | ||
| That's radio, baby. | ||
| You just can't not. | ||
| Like, he hates the Super Bowl or whatever, but you're going out to break. | ||
| It's the Super Bowl, so you're going to do it in an announcer-y voice, and there you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And now we're going to Super Bowl XLVIII! | |
| I mean, I hate it. | ||
| It's destroying the man. | ||
| I blew my budget sending two people there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| I do think that maybe behind that clip we get a little glimpse that Alex might have had a bad interview on a sports show. | ||
| Does sound right. | ||
| And maybe that has just made him mad at sports people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that might be all that's going on. | ||
| It does feel like I remember Mike Greenberg. | ||
| And the Mike Golick, they had an ESPN radio show because I worked at the graveyard shift in a hotel. | ||
| So I would be up at around 4 a.m. along with Mike Greenberg and Mike Golick. | ||
| And I never saw Alex on that show. | ||
| But if he was, that's what it would be. | ||
| What if he was on that show? | ||
| He would be just lambasted for not knowing the scores and the jerseys. | ||
| Just the insanity of it. | ||
| I can't imagine this whole show is over. | ||
| You guys can go. | ||
| Now we're just going to find this clip. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| No, I bet it was something like that, though. | ||
| You know what's really interesting? | ||
| You saying him being on that show, it made me think of, like, okay, so, like, Adam Carolla is now pretty right-wing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So is Dr. Drew a bit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But at the time, what if Alex had been on Loveline? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I mean, I would assume that everybody who was like, should I have sex? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's like, you're wasting your manly seed! | |
| God, why can't that exist? | ||
| That would be the thing that would kill me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If that existed, that would just be like, oh, God. | |
| Have you ever tried anal before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think we're going to need to cut to a different part of the show. | |
| Adam, Dr. Drew, kids are using this for homeschooling. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| So, Alex does take some calls. | ||
| And in this next clip, we get really where what I would say is the hinge of the episode, where Alex figures out, like, a bit. | ||
| He figures out a bit. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I've got friends. | |
| They're just not, like people say, awake about what's going on around them. | ||
| They're just drinking the fluoride sodas and eating their GMO food and watching sports and not knowing even really what's going on with the sports they're watching. | ||
| And at the same time, I'm looking at them like they're crazy. | ||
| They look at me like I'm the one that's got two heads. | ||
| I mean, it's this crazy world we live in. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Who do you think is going to win? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Broncos or the Seahawks? | |
| Well, the corporate interests. | ||
| They're going to be the ones that actually win. | ||
| The owners? | ||
| I mean, and that's really what it is. | ||
| That was a trick question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| I know the winner. | ||
| And it's really the corporate bosses. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Tax exempt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We see. | |
| That's who's going to win. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alex is real lucky that that dude said that. | ||
| Because I think he was sincerely asking, who do you think is going to win? | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| Corporate interests. | ||
| So Alex hears that, and he's like, boom. | ||
| There is my angle. | ||
| I'm an hour into the show. | ||
| There's my fucking angle. | ||
| So he decides this is what he's going to do. | ||
| This is his big plan. | ||
| Your calls are coming up. | ||
| And if you have your point ready, I'm going to go to the next person. | ||
| But yeah, no, no. | ||
| New listeners tune every minute. | ||
| I should... | ||
| Come and start the next segment for all the new listeners that are coming in and say, I know the winner. | ||
| I already know. | ||
| It's already been decided between the Broncos and the Seahawks. | ||
| I'll tell you at the bottom of the hour. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And then at the bottom of the hour, I go, yeah, it's the owners that got the security paid for and are tax-exempt and got the stadiums paid for. | ||
| That's the winner. | ||
| And I'll use that as a way to illustrate to the sports fans out there that will literally sit there for 30 minutes. | ||
| Because we're on all these AM and active stations. | ||
| They're going to hear that and stay listening when they wouldn't have. | ||
| Because they hear about government. | ||
| Oh, that's boring. | ||
| Or that's work. | ||
| I don't care about that. | ||
| It's not work. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's good to be involved. | ||
| You're meant to be at war with tyrants or you're a slave. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's just an insane person. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Laying out his insane plot. | ||
| That was a supervillain plot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Here's how I'm going to trick people. | ||
| Into not changing the channel. | ||
| Here's why I'm going to trick people. | ||
| And for no reason other than... | ||
| What's the reason? | ||
| Well, audience retention is important. | ||
| Audience retention. | ||
| For ad revenue, things like that. | ||
| Sponsors. | ||
| Okay, so let's role play this. | ||
| I'm calling in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Who do you think is going to win the game? | ||
| Trick question. | ||
| Corporate interests. | ||
| Seahawks. | ||
| Also Seahawks, probably. | ||
| Holy shit, turn that up. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Well, no, but see, here's the thing. | ||
| What Alex is planning to do is not reveal that it's all a trick until later. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| At the end of the hour. | ||
| This is during that first couple minutes that doesn't air on most stations. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| This is where most stations are doing the time update in traffic and stuff. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he's plotting his little thing where I'll get them to all stick around with my pretending that I'm going to reveal the winner. | ||
| What a creep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's a creepy thing to do. | ||
| But it's a good bit. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Listen, I've listened to so many of his episodes, I think this is a great bit for him. | ||
| Comparatively, this is awesome. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| There is that. | ||
| The bar is low. | ||
| And it's another thing that he stole from a caller. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Which is fun. | ||
| That is fun. | ||
| So he comes back from that six minutes, that little beginning portion of the show that doesn't air, and he lays his trap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, we are live and broadcasting worldwide. | ||
| Let's do it right now before I read a Vince Lombardi. | ||
| Statement coming up at the bottom of the hour. | ||
| By the way, if you just joined us, I will tell you who the winner, unequivocally, 100%, or may I be thrown into a lake of boiling oil. | ||
| At the bottom of the hour, 33 after, after the news, I will tell you who is going to win Super Bowl XLVIII versus the old mules and the sea vultures. | ||
| I will tell you who's going to win Seahawks versus Lord Manning. | ||
| I will break it all down coming up at the bottom of the hour. | ||
| But right now, the propaganda vehicle of sports isn't ruining sports. | ||
| You bear crap in the woods. | ||
| Does the Easter Bunny lay eggs? | ||
| The point is, we are going to take your phone calls right now. | ||
| So here's an obvious thing. | ||
| Let's take calls, yay or nay! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, so this is brilliant. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I'm going to call people, or people are going to call in, and they're going to be like, sports, what is the plan here? | ||
| He wants to just talk shit with people about sports, and then hopefully people will stay listening because he's pretended he's going to reveal the winner. | ||
| Now, here is the fun part. | ||
| He teases that he's going to reveal the winner, never pays it off. | ||
| He never does the second part of the bit. | ||
| He just forgets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you so much for revealing that. | |
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's a great plan for him, but it's also executed as well as he always executes things. | ||
| That's no good. | ||
| So we get some calls about sports, and here is one caller that has an interesting point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's also interesting, too, that I think I read an article that I think it's like a record-breaking year that's like, what is it, $4 million. | |
| For 30 seconds, not including your production time, not including your actors, not including any other stuff. | ||
| Just the time alone is some insane amount. | ||
| And I've noticed that the games are getting progressively tighter. | ||
| And I'm not a big football fan, but I do hear these things. | ||
| And it seems like, you know, there's no more blowouts anymore. | ||
| I remember some of the older Super Bowls when I was a kid, you and I were the same age, and they were like, it was like 47 to two, you know, and people just tune out. | ||
| And so it's interesting to me that the game's getting progressively tighter and tighter and tighter to hold on, you know, to hold the audience through, Just like the blackout got him three more minutes of time. | ||
| No, sir, look at all the corruption. | ||
| Oh, so much corruption. | ||
| What the fuck do you want out of sports? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to quit. | |
| I don't understand the idea of being like, ah, they used to be boring in my day. | ||
| And that's evidence that things are getting worse. | ||
| I want to watch people fighting. | ||
| For real. | ||
| The way that the man... | ||
| Hey, listen. | ||
| I don't watch sports, but I hear things that there are fewer blowouts than there used to be. | ||
| Because they want that ad revenue. | ||
| They want to keep you watching. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| But... | ||
| If this guy wanted... | ||
| But that's good! | ||
| Or what? | ||
| If this guy wanted a blowout, he should have been thrilled with Super Bowl XLVIII. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The score ended up being 43-8. | ||
| And until the last play of the third quarter, Seattle was up 36-0. | ||
| It was not fun. | ||
| That was back whenever it was Richard Sherman. | ||
| He was a great... | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Listen, I know a lot about sports. | ||
| I care about space exploration. | ||
| I'm from sports. | ||
| You are from sports. | ||
| I'm from sports. | ||
| So Alex takes some calls about sports. | ||
| But unfortunately, some people get a little bit off topic. | ||
| And there's a little bit of revealingness in this call. | ||
| This guy, someone calls and wants to know about Wolfgang Halbigs. | ||
| Fair. | ||
| What a great life we live. | ||
| Wolfgang Halbig's FOIA requests. | ||
| And then Alex says something that is unfortunate in hindsight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not distracted from the Super Bowl at all. | |
| But I'm currently on the Florida House Representative's website and the Connecticut Freedom of Information Act website, the Office of Accountability. | ||
| You're talking about gun control again. | ||
| And one of the big things, obviously, the NFL is doing to basically sway opinion to the public opinion. | ||
| I have a very big question for you. | ||
| I think we should turn our guns in. | ||
| The NFL said so. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know we should. | |
| And you know, what's really funny about that is the fact that none, and I'm going to repeat again, none of any of the Freedom of Information Act requests nationwide have been either conceived, grabbed, or responded to via the Connecticut Freedom of Information Act Office of Accountability. | ||
| Sure, to try to find out what happened to Sandy Hook. | ||
| Because that was clearly as funny as a $3 bill, a giant PR stunt to get our guns. | ||
| I hear you, and I appreciate your call, bro. | ||
| But we're taking calls on the NFL professional sports and piggybacking and propaganda onto it. | ||
| So thank you, Corey. | ||
| Hey, Alex didn't say any of that stuff. | ||
| He just talked to people and heard all sides of it, man. | ||
| He didn't randomly throw that around or anything, no. | ||
| You know, in a way, we all just listen to a man make a $1.5 billion purchase. | ||
| I've never heard the sound of $1.5 billion exchanging hands before. | ||
| It's a big old ka-ching. | ||
| Yep, that's where it happened. | ||
| So that was fun to just randomly spot out in the wild. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| What a weird... | ||
| You could hear that he was kind of a little bit frustrated that this guy wasn't wanting to talk about sports. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Instead, he wanted to talk about something really important, like FOIA requests. | ||
| Unlike Alex, who's just wanting to talk about sports, a thing that distracts from stuff, like talking about FOIA requests. | ||
| But he wants to talk about how sports distracts from FOIA requests, which is more important than FOIA requests. | ||
| Ooh, this is a complicated ranking system. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're going to need sports to fix it. | ||
| This is a turducken of bullshit. | ||
| So we get another call. | ||
| And this was really exciting because I got very confused listening to this happen. | ||
| One, because the story that Alex is telling at the beginning I don't believe is true. | ||
| And then the second, Alex recognizes the caller. | ||
| I was in a restaurant two years ago after the Super Bowl. | ||
| It was two years ago today. | ||
| I was in there with Wes and the rest of the crew. | ||
| We went in and they set us down. | ||
| And Karl Rove was right beside me, right behind me, catty corner. | ||
| and stuff and food was coming. | ||
| I was going to confront him at the end of dinner, but I wanted to enjoy my meal. | ||
| He was making fun of people watching sports while the real world went on. | ||
| And then I ended up getting up and leaving because I didn't want to stay there with him. | ||
| But go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, you know, along those lines, I am now suing those people for what you actually called me personally to call into your show a while back. | ||
| My suit is now in the mediation stage of the... | ||
| You got banned from the county commissioners. | ||
| You go by Ronnie Reiferseed, and that's why you called in with a fake name today, Hunter. | ||
| That's why you haven't called in in months. | ||
| I just wanted to call every time. | ||
| See, this is about the NFL. | ||
| This is about county commissioners banning you from speech that I think is wrong. | ||
| I appreciate your call. | ||
| You got every other caller. | ||
| This is going to bring up another subject. | ||
| Guys, I let you talk about whatever you want nine times out of ten. | ||
| We're not going to talk about whatever you want today. | ||
| We're going to talk about Super Bowl XLVIII. | ||
| I want to talk about how I don't want to talk about football, not you getting in trouble with the city council. | ||
| Ronnie Rieferseed? | ||
| Ronnie Rieferseed. | ||
| I'm struggling with a lot breaking my brain right now. | ||
| I can imagine. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| I mean, just the man, he doesn't even know. | ||
| He doesn't know that what he's doing is the thing that he's mad at. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's infuriating. | ||
| It's a little ironic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It's horrifying. | ||
| But then to just say Ronnie Reiferseed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And not be like, we gotta stop and talk about this. | ||
| Yeah, because I was up in my head. | ||
| I was like, that Karl Rove story definitely isn't true. | ||
| And then Ronnie Reiferseed came around and I'm like, I don't give a shit. | ||
| I don't give a shit about Karl Rove. | ||
| Because now Ronnie Reiferseed exists. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| So in August 2011, Ronnie Reeferseed was banned from attending city council meetings where the public can make comment. | ||
| The Austin mayor, Lee Leffingwell, was a member of the council who told the Austin Monitor that the reason that Reeferseed was ejected from the meeting was that when he was called up to speak, he kept making loud fart noises. | ||
|
unidentified
|
APPLAUSE He was warned to cut it out, refused to, and then he was banned from City Hall for a year. | |
| The punishment does not fit the crime. | ||
| It seems like he's been kicked out of city council meetings for using inappropriate language in the past, and he'd go on to get kicked out again in late 2012. | ||
| It just seems like it's kind of his thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's a local guy who rants at city council, gets kicked out for a while, comes back, and then restarts the cycle. | ||
| The nature heals. | ||
| And then calls into Alex's show. | ||
| And Alex can recognize his people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did he... | |
| Was this Roddy Reefer scene? | ||
| Oh, Reefer scene again. | ||
| Are those fart noises I hear? | ||
| How did he make him? | ||
| Do you think he did the... | ||
| I was trying to find video, and I couldn't find it. | ||
| I want to know how he did it. | ||
| I found plenty of video of him ranting at city council meetings and talking about, like, Ron Paul and shit. | ||
| How many fart sounds is too many for the city council? | ||
| I think that we should demand them litigate that. | ||
| Right! | ||
| So, okay, so your first one, you know, you do that, and the guy, they're like, hey, please stop. | ||
| Ronnie Riefersy. | ||
| Guy we know from kicking out a bunch of times. | ||
| We've kicked you out before. | ||
| If you do it three more times, you know he's going to do it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He can't not. | |
| He's Ronnie Riefersy. | ||
| If he makes one fart noise, why would Ronnie Riefersy stop now? | ||
| I think, I mean, look, I'm a square, but I think one fart noise is too many for city council. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think? | |
| I respect. | ||
| Do I? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I think it's reasonable. | ||
| I think it's kind of funny. | ||
| Let's hold on. | ||
| I think it's kind of funny. | ||
| It's kind of funny. | ||
| It's a waste of everyone's time, but compared to what's going on at city council meetings now. | ||
| It's a waste of, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Fart noise is kind of like, eh, it's quaint. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| You know, you give a guy a warning. | ||
| You know, like, hey, one fart noise is fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Gonna let you slide on this one. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| But, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because it sounds like it was more than two. | |
| And I feel like you only need two. | ||
| If a city council member is telling the paper about it, it's more than two. | ||
| Sir, you need to cede your time. | ||
| Sir, you will be kicked out of the city council. | ||
| Will I for the first time? | ||
| No. | ||
| All right, next time I'll burp. | ||
| Bans for a year. | ||
| So we get another caller. | ||
| And Alex and this caller speculate about what the halftime show could be. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm going to tell you this just in advance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers came out. | ||
| That was the halftime show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of the worst Super Bowls ever. | |
| Their guesses a little off from that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah? | |
| Oh yeah, a little bit. | ||
| I think Obama's definitely coming up. | ||
| If not literally in spirit, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Alex. | |
| Thanks for taking my call. | ||
| I've been listening to you for like two years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just had a question about what you thought the hashtag You know, I didn't really pay attention. | |
| I'm sure if it's like the Grammys, it'll be four or five gay marriages and three or four satanic ceremonies. | ||
| And then if you point it out, you know, you're just not trendy. | ||
| And I don't know. | ||
| I mean, what is the halftime show? | ||
| Guys, look up Super Bowl XLVIII between the donkeys and the flying rats or whatever it is and tell me who this halftime event is. | ||
| What do you think, brother? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think last year they kind of overplayed it a little bit with the Beyonce thing, so I think they might tone it down. | ||
| Well, I just think since it's such a woman's rights, maybe we should have like 20 or 30 group abortions, partial birth abortions, right there on television. | ||
| I think that would be a bad halftime show. | ||
| As someone who's a firm supporter of reproductive rights, I think that would be a bad show. | ||
| Strongly disagree. | ||
| I remember strongly disagree. | ||
| Strong disagree. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I remember the opening to the Beijing Olympics. | ||
| Did you see the synchronicity that they had? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right? | |
| Now you apply that level to a bunch of gay marriages, a bunch of group abortions, all spinning around in a certain way. | ||
| And then some leg kicks go up. | ||
| But not those leg kicks for the abortions. | ||
| Not those. | ||
| Right off to the side, Ronnie Reefer's seat is making fart noises. | ||
| For the sake of showmanship. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, it would be interesting to see coordinated. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I will say that. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It was Bruno Mars. | ||
| Not the same. | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| A little bit different. | ||
| I do like just this level of shit talk, though. | ||
| You know that's not going to be the halftime show, you asshole. | ||
| I bet it's a bunch of gay marriages. | ||
| What are you talking about, sir? | ||
| I would be so mad if it was that. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Whatever, man. | ||
| Calm down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I keep wanting to say old man, but he's as old as I am now. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| It sucks. | ||
| I'm old. | ||
| Back in my day, we didn't used to have gay marriage halftime shows. | ||
| No one did! | ||
| So, Alex, I think, is really excited about the game, despite himself. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's... | ||
| Evidenced by him giving a score update. | ||
| But he's getting that score update, not from ESPN. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| I myself am following the Drudge Report, DrudgeReport.com. | ||
| It has the CRATs at 5 to 0. We'll put that back up on screen, actually, for folks. | ||
| Denver, 0. It's funny, actually, on the street today, Alex, who's going to win? | ||
| And I said, well, the media says it's going to be Denver. | ||
| It must be the Seahawks. | ||
| It's all rigged anyways. | ||
| They know you like an underdog coming from behind. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| You can tell that he's way more interested in the outcome of the game than he is in the outcome of his bit. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| I do like getting the score from Drudge. | ||
| It's so much like this is... | ||
| Maybe the most egregious example of virtue signaling I've ever heard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Right? | ||
| What? | ||
| Like, listen to all of this. | ||
| This is all just because he can't be like, I like football. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's fun to get caught up in Super Bowl Sunday once a year. | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| I mean, we've had multiple callers who have been full of shit, but also ostensibly had more important topics to cover. | ||
| And all Alex wants to talk about is how no one wants to talk about those topics. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's enough to drive a man insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is. | ||
| When you're already a little bit insane, it's just kind of delightful, though, you know? | ||
| And when you listen to this show, and it's just so full of rank bigotry and nonsense and awful shit all the time, this is the kind of stuff that goes down smooth, you know? | ||
| Yeah, it is almost like, you know, I would be far angrier and more offended about the bigotry if I weren't so confused about how he's not confused. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now I'm confused. | ||
| Eyebrows. | ||
| So, throughout the episode, obviously, Alex goes live to Jakari and to Josh, who are there. | ||
| And they're boring. | ||
| One of the little remote pieces is them on the train going to the show, going to the Super Bowl. | ||
| Doing a little man-on-the-street interview. | ||
| And it's just like, are you excited to go to the Super Bowl? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bah, bah, bah. | |
| And Jakari's like, yeah, kind of. | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| We'll see what they're doing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Pretty cool experience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we actually only have one last clip here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Oh, no. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Hiss. | ||
| Alex takes his calls. | ||
| He complains about sports. | ||
| Everything goes... | ||
| But the end is a little bit celebratory. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because now he gets to go to his Super Bowl party. | ||
| Lena, Martin, Laura, Mary, and Jim. | ||
| I'm out of time. | ||
| But I'll be back tomorrow, 11 a.m. Central, 12 noon Eastern, with the big official weekday transmission, Infowars.com. | ||
| We need good taking calls. | ||
| Great job crew coming in. | ||
| We can now all go to the Super Bowl parties and bow down to our God. | ||
| It's not freedom. | ||
| No, it's Peyton Manning. | ||
| So we're all going to go right now. | ||
| Are they still losing? | ||
| What's the score? | ||
| Doesn't matter what our freedom is. | ||
| What's the score? | ||
| What's the score? | ||
| It's at Infowars.com. | ||
| What? | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| You want to know what the score is! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right! | |
| No! | ||
| He's doing all this stuff as if he's mocking it, but you care. | ||
| Yeah, you're very... | ||
| I mean, I'm hearing more sincerity in his voice when he says Peyton Manning is God than I do when he talks about God. | ||
| I'm hearing more sincerity in his voice when he says, we can all go party. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| All right, now that I'm done bitching like a weird old man, let's go to the Super Bowl! | ||
| Cut loose, sorry, can't take your calls. | ||
| Absurd. | ||
| Thank you all for calling in, but I am going to pick up that whiskey that you put down. | ||
| That should have gone on the pro list. | ||
| Whiskey? | ||
| You can drink. | ||
| Sports are drinkable. | ||
| But not if you're playing. | ||
| Which might also be in the pros. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| He wants to feel alive, but you can't drink while you're doing it. | ||
| This is quite a conundrum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet he chose drinking. | ||
| I think I probably did, too. | ||
| When I was younger. | ||
| Football. | ||
| Drinking. | ||
| Drinking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So what have you learned today as we come to the end of this adventure? | ||
| I have learned... | ||
| So... | ||
| Here's actually what I want. | ||
| Like, genuinely, what I want is to watch what they want a game to be. | ||
| Oh, that'd be great. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wholesome. | |
| What could it look like? | ||
| No Obama messages. | ||
| First off, it's a blowout. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It has to be boring, because otherwise the advertisers are rigging it. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Nobody can be watching a game. | ||
| What is wrong with these people? | ||
| I want a boring game that is a real bummer socially. | ||
| They just want to take joy from other people. | ||
| That's what they want. | ||
| They're just people who are like, oh, you can't like this thing because I can't access the feelings that you get when you like it. | ||
| Because when you and I are watching it together, I go like, oh yeah, that was a good catch. | ||
| Did you know that the government's trying to kill your daughter right now? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're the reason you're not enjoying sports. | ||
| Yeah, I can't let myself accept that I enjoy this, and therefore I'm going to take it out on you. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I wish the Cialis commercial has two people in two bunkers next to each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have learned fucking nothing. | |
| You learned nothing. | ||
| I have learned nothing. | ||
| And in that sense, this is a very normal episode of Knowledge, right? | ||
| Nothing has been learned! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you all so much! |
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