In this installment, Dan and Jordan do the show live at the Middle East in Cambridge, MA. They cover March 4, 2011 where Alex is very preoccupied with Twitter and interviews a guy who happens to have written a book on pick up artistry.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
*Cheering* *Cheering* *Cheering* *Cheering* *Cheering* Knowledge Fight *Cheering* In | |
| Jordan, I sweat it KnowledgeFight.com It's time to pray I have great respect for Knowledge Fight Knowledge Fight I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys Saying me are the bad guys Dan and Tor Knowledge Fight I need I need money Andy and Panza Andy and Panza Stop it Andy and | ||
| Panza It's time to pray Andy and Panza Hello Alex, I'm a big fan I love your room Knowledge Fight KnowledgeFight.com I love you Everybody *Cheering* Woo Thank you. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| We are a couple dudes who like to travel the East Coast, sit around a bit, and also talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, indeed we are, Dan! | |
| Bah bah bah! | ||
| Bah bah bah bah bah boo! | ||
| Boo! | ||
| That is never comfortable in front of a live crowd. | ||
| Yeah, what we do is we all listen to the worst man talk and then laugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool! | |
| That's our job! | ||
| How you doing, Boston? | ||
| Seems good. | ||
| Seems good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you so much for coming out to the Middle East! | |
| It is. | ||
| This is absurd. | ||
| There's so many of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So many of you. | |
| 25 years ago, a little boy named Dan heard the opening notes to 128 by the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones live at the Middle East. | ||
| And here we are so many years later. | ||
| Oh, it happened. | ||
| It did. | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It took a lot of work. | |
| Here we are. | ||
| And I'd like to introduce our trombone section. | ||
| The trombones didn't show up. | ||
| That's why we started a little bit late. | ||
| We thought the horns... | ||
| We had to lie about it because otherwise, whenever I sold the venue on the show, they were like, it's two dudes talking, eh? | ||
| In this legendary punk venue. | ||
| Compelling visually. | ||
| I feel like every now and again I just have to pump my fist just to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| See? | ||
| Terrified. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm going to curl up in a shell. | ||
| Yep, that's too much power for one man. | ||
| Austin has turned me into a tortoise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pick her up, pick her up. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | ||
| I'm going to have to skank around the stage. | ||
| So when we were preparing for these shows, I was like, I've got to do something special. | ||
| And my biggest idea was I would debut a new shirt at each show. | ||
| Which goes to show how... | ||
| Maybe that would be fun. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Again, legendary punk venue, that was the shirt. | ||
| Thank you! | ||
| The shirt bit paid off, buddy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right, we can't keep this energy up the whole night. | |
| No. | ||
| This is impossible to do. | ||
| My other big idea was the reveal that I actually spoiled for you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But I figured out the cities that we're going to around the East Coast. | ||
| I was like, what's the connection between them? | ||
| And I figured it out. | ||
| And it's that all of the... | ||
| We're doing a tour of cities with notable regional accents. | ||
| Boston, Baltimore, New York. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Philly. | ||
| All of whom... | ||
| It is the Jordan's gonna try and they're gonna hit accent tour. | ||
| Yep, yep, yep. | ||
| Couldn't get it done in Scotland? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the Scottish are weak. | ||
| I bet Boston's got me. | ||
| Oh no, oh no, oh no. | ||
| Somehow daring boss Busting to hit me and promising Scotland will later. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| So normally you would ask me, but I'm going to initiate with you. | ||
| What's your bright spot, bro? | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Oh, you did? | ||
| Oh, you got one of the three! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoo-hoo! | |
| Completely ready. | ||
| Random, and that is fucking awesome. | ||
| That is really cool. | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Brother got rehired! | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Bright spot achieved. | ||
| How can you not make that your bright spot? | ||
| That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. | ||
| What was my bright spot? | ||
| We survived hanging out there for two hours without freaking out on each other. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| At no point in time did I stab your leg with a fork. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never happened. | |
| I saw some motions. | ||
| I was pacing around because I got my Fitbit, trying to get my steps in. | ||
| Pacing around backstage. | ||
| Like a lunatic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many steps did you get backstage? | |
| It's... | ||
| I don't want to admit to these fine people. | ||
| It's not less than 1,500. | ||
| But that's your rights whether we survived backstage. | ||
| I suppose. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| It is this. | ||
| It is this magic. | ||
| It is achieving something that is both ridiculous and impossible to achieve. | ||
| This is like how you can't buy something that's free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah. | |
| You know? | ||
| I sensed a real, like... | ||
| Vague nod coming from the audience. | ||
| Like, fuck yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Now we could leave happy. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| What's your bright spot, Dan? | ||
| I guess it's just coming back to this city. | ||
| I spent a little time growing up here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure, sure. | |
| Grew up here until a certain age? | ||
| Until quite a young age and then moved. | ||
| But I had not been back, I don't think. | ||
| And I don't remember shit. | ||
| Turns out. | ||
| Lovely city. | ||
| I've enjoyed walking around, getting my steps in. | ||
| But I have... | ||
| I don't remember... | ||
| What's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you grab the goose? | |
| Did not grab the goose. | ||
| No. | ||
| And I probably shouldn't encourage this sort of thing. | ||
| No, no questions from the crowd. | ||
| While listening to the podcast, you can ask all the questions you want. | ||
| Live show, it's harder. | ||
| Here's what I'll say about yelling interjections. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| But I appreciate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what we do now. | |
| This is what we do. | ||
| Can you tell we haven't been on stage for a while? | ||
| Maybe milking it a bit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Just trying to have some fun. | ||
| We're having fun. | ||
| So today we've got an episode to go over, Jordan. | ||
| Banter achieved. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check. | |
| We've got an episode to go over and we're going to be talking about March 4th, 2011. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Alright. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Do you have any idea why? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The rumble through the crowd is very intimidating. | ||
| They can't possibly be rumbling for the reason I chose this date. | ||
| It's literally impossible. | ||
| Okay, March 3rd, 2011. | ||
| Well, March 4th. | ||
| March 4th? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, March 3rd was a better date. | ||
| It probably was, yeah. | ||
| I would have done that one. | ||
| Well, in hindsight. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Boy, no, I have no idea. | ||
| What could possibly be happening in March 2011? | ||
| Well, we're going to find out. | ||
| Did we start another war? | ||
| Did I miss a war? | ||
| It's not a war, although a war will be mentioned. | ||
| Ooh, okay. | ||
| Charlie Wilson. | ||
| So here we are, Jordan. | ||
| Boston. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Beantown. | ||
| The home of Fenway. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| The main character in Good Will Hunting is the city. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| Is the city of Boston? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The home of C.T. from the Real World Road Rules Challenge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True. | |
| True. | ||
| Is C.T. here? | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I showed up. | |
| Good on you. | ||
| Thanks, CT. | ||
| So there's a lot to say about this city. | ||
| So choosing a date to cover was no small feat. | ||
| I do think that one thing that immediately comes to mind when you think about Boston, though, is a good old tea party. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| All right. | ||
| So I decided to try and find an episode on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| They all sucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So I tried a couple more dates related to the Boston Tea Party, and they all sucked. | ||
| So I figured, you know, if I was going to do an episode about this, I was going to have to dig a little bit deeper, right? | ||
| So the Tea Party was carried out in part by a group called the Sons of Liberty, and I told myself, I bet that if I look through the list of people who were members of that group, we were going to find some fun names. | ||
| And I was right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fitch Poole. | |
| William Carolina Cattle Esquire. | ||
| Ebenezer Clap. | ||
| Now that's a disease. | ||
| That's a disease. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This motherfucker's stingy and he's wolf. | |
| There were so many Ebenezers. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder what made the name go out of style. | |
| And then Henderson Inches. | ||
| Henderson Inches. | ||
| I think Inches Henderson sounds better. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| That's like a mob name. | ||
| Oh, shit, you seen Inches around? | ||
| He killed three people last week. | ||
| You give him an inch, he takes a mile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| We've been working on puns all day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've been walking around Boston. | |
| This is your fault. | ||
| It is true. | ||
| It is true. | ||
| Like, over lunch, I made a pun, and Jordan looked at me weird, and I was like, I'm warming up, man. | ||
| We gotta get in game shape. | ||
| Gotta keep going. | ||
| So, I liked all those names, and they were strong, and some of them I looked into dates related to them, and those episodes also sucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So then I found a great name, though. | ||
| A real weird one. | ||
| Hercules Mulligan. | ||
| That's a hell of a name. | ||
| Demigod Do-Over. | ||
| That's, yeah, that's when you really fucked up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I wanted to see if I could learn a little bit more about this guy, and it turns out Hercules Mulligan was a wild figure in the American Revolution. | ||
| Sounds right. | ||
| He was an Irish guy who came to New York City in 1774 and set himself up as a fancy tailor and haberdasher. | ||
| His business thrived, especially among the British living in the colonies, and he got in good with that whole world, even marrying the Admiral of the Royal Navy. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
However, the whole time he harbored revolutionary inclinations and opposed the British. | |
| Harbored! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Keep going. | ||
| That's 2-0. | ||
| When the war broke out, he was perfectly situated to be a spy for Washington's army, since he was fitting all the British soldiers with clothes and hats. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Legit, these dum-dums would tell their tale or everything, like literally spilling the beans on secret plots to capture Washington. | ||
| 3-0! | ||
| After the war, Hercules was widely lauded as Washington's own clothes guy, and apparently he appears as a character in Hamilton, which I've never seen. | ||
| Which might be why there was an applause for Hercules Mulligan. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Because otherwise I have no idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It's a great story of a tailor turned spy, but also fuck him because the only reason he was able to convey secret intelligence to Washington is because he sent a person he enslaved to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| As with all these stories in American history, we need a mulligan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was going to say... | |
| 3-1? | ||
| Oh my... | ||
| The audience has spoken. | ||
| I think this is a knockout. | ||
| That was unfair. | ||
| Of me. | ||
| I could prepare. | ||
| That one was intended? | ||
| That one was way in advance? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So we're going to celebrate... | ||
| Unfortunately, I looked at every day anniversary of his birth and they were all bad. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So, unfortunately, we're going to celebrate the day he died. | ||
| The anniversary of Hercules Mulligan's death. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So are you ready to jump in? | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Alright, here is where we start off with March 4th, 2011. | ||
| The sheening of America in less than a week troubled actor Charlie Sheen becomes country's top pop culture icon. | ||
| And they've done different analyses and breakdowns. | ||
| He's bigger than John Wayne, bigger than Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| And it's because he's not being a hypocrite. | ||
| I don't endorse... | ||
| You know, everything he's saying or doing. | ||
| But he is my friend, and he's been going through a lot. | ||
| And the point is, he's saying, I'm going to be 100% real, and I'm not going to be a hypocrite. | ||
| And that's what people recognize and appreciate is the truthfulness. | ||
| And it's just getting bigger and bigger and crazier by the minute. | ||
| I talked a lot to Charlie yesterday, talked to him this morning. | ||
| And I just hope this whole thing ends well. | ||
| Oh, it doesn't. | ||
| We live in the future now. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Does not end well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So in case anyone doesn't remember, 2011 was the year when Charlie Sheen had his huge meltdown. | ||
| He got fired from two and a half men and became a ridiculous public spectacle. | ||
| Everyone had fun watching the train wreck he was living until they didn't and it became very sad. | ||
| What people tend to forget is that all of that happened because of an interview on Infowars. | ||
| Well, at least a lot of it did. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It started there. | ||
| Sheen was talking to Alex when he got all anti-Semitic about Chuck Lorre and started his public spiral. | ||
| People may remember the 2020 interview that he did where he had, like, tiger blood and all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| But Two and a Half Men was canceled directly after he was on Infowars. | ||
| It would be a stretch to say that Alex was partially responsible for what happened to Sheen, but he was definitely enabling him and being a bad friend because being a bad friend is good for business. | ||
| Because of his proximity to the story, Alex did a round of interviews, including going on The View, and he tried to cash in on this downfall. | ||
| It's pretty gross as a little patch of history to look back on, and it only gets worse the more you know about it, so let's not dwell on it. | ||
| Yeah, let's never. | ||
| To give a little bit of sense of where things are at this point, though, on March 4th, the initial interview that led to two and a half men getting canceled took place on February 24th, so we're about a week away from that. | ||
| Charlie has done some interviews and he's had his kids removed from his custody and then started tweeting a bunch of nonsense like, winning! | ||
| We all remember that? | ||
| I think at this point there really should be like a counter that shows up right there that goes like, seven days away. | ||
| And then over six days away. | ||
| So he's about a week away from announcing his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour, which I don't know if you remember that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That began with him getting booed offstage in Detroit on opening night. | ||
| I would say, I would say, and I'm just going to throw this out there, Violent Torpedo is not necessarily a great tour name. | ||
| But what if it's of truth? | ||
| Okay, never mind. | ||
| I'm back in. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| It was all bad times. | ||
| But it turns out, if you know anything about this, Alex was pretty involved in the events in Charlie's life, apparently. | ||
| But mostly, like, cool things. | ||
| I've known a calm, focused, intelligent Charlie Sheen. | ||
| People are calling him a poet, a great comedian. | ||
| All of these words he's come out with and terms are becoming cultural icons now. | ||
| And a lot of it is rooted in jokes that I told him. | ||
| Some of them. | ||
| I told him to get on Twitter three weeks ago when I was out of his house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Broke the Guinness Book of World Records for the most Twitters. | ||
| People signing up in one day. | ||
| It's approaching two million right now. | ||
| I made the joke about how people say we're warlock Vatican assassins. | ||
| Folks, he's not a ninja. | ||
| He's not a warlock Vatican assassin. | ||
| That's a joke. | ||
| And he said people don't get my satire. | ||
| They don't get my joke. | ||
| You know, put a little bit of hieroglyph into your mind to understand what I'm saying. | ||
| But people don't get it. | ||
| Well, I'm going to be doing a video later today where I may even do it on air where I break down exactly what Charlie's saying. | ||
| Ooh, that'll be good. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Let me explain the jokes that I've told him. | ||
| Alright, so you gotta understand, this man's throwing his career away because I told him a bunch of jokes. | ||
| Later on, we're gonna analyze them in detail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna translate for you a little bit here. | |
| Because I want to save his career? | ||
| I'll take the fall on this one, please! | ||
| So, it is true that Charlie Sheen set that world record, getting to a million Twitter followers in just 25 hours and 17 minutes. | ||
| However, he was beaten by someone who Alex does not like very much. | ||
| Obama. | ||
| Got to a million in just four hours, 52 minutes. | ||
| Another parallel here that's kind of interesting. | ||
| The world record for the first person to ever get to a million followers, that was set by Ashton Kutcher, the guy who would go on to replace Sheen on Two and a Half Men. | ||
| There's layers to this stuff. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's an onion. | ||
| And then Elon Musk would go on to purchase Twitter and be exactly like Charlie Sheen. | ||
| What? | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| Winning! | ||
| It's all coming together. | ||
| Winning! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Winning! | |
| Cybertruck! | ||
| I just love hearing, though, that Alex is secretly behind all this stuff. | ||
| How many times people claim to be like, no, no, no, you don't understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy's lost his everything because I'm great. | |
| So, Alex has a big announcement. | ||
| A large part of the beginning of this show is just him teasing that he has a really big announcement. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So we actually get to some of your phone calls, which I always enjoy hearing from you and the different questions and directions you take us in. | ||
| I'm going to go ahead and go to your phone calls now. | ||
| But in the next segment, I'm going to make a very important announcement. | ||
| So please stay with us for that. | ||
| At the start of the next segment, coming up here in just a few minutes, let's talk to Scott in Mass. | ||
| You're on the air, Scott. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Scott in Mass. | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| He's actually in a Catholic church right now. | ||
| You've mistaken. | ||
| I understand regionally that makes perfect sense to you. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yep, yep. | ||
| Scott in Mass. | ||
| Scott in Mass. | ||
| That would be a fun background to my InfoWars call. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| I mean, I understand why people would applaud because it's a person who's from Massachusetts. | ||
| I bet they're not going to like him later. | ||
| Oh, no, they're not. | ||
| I would imagine Massachusetts will soon not wish this was their only son. | ||
| They have many other sons and daughters and folks, but Scott kind of sucks. | ||
| Turns out he might be an anti-Semite. | ||
| Let's talk to Scott in Mass. | ||
| You're on the air, Scott. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Mr. Jones. | |
| How are you? | ||
| I'm okay. | ||
| Pretty tired, but okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd like to say that we're in a depression. | |
| Our economy is crumbling. | ||
| Look, Goldman Sachs, Bear Stearns, the Rothschilds, and other greedy and evil international Jewish bankers on Wall Street have destroyed our economy, Mr. Jones. | ||
| And not only have they destroyed our economy, but the Federal Reserve Bank was founded by Paul Warburg, which is a Jewish invention. | ||
| No! | ||
| Scott from Mass. | ||
| I was really hoping for the three senators. | ||
| I was really hoping for the three senators. | ||
| No, no, bad news. | ||
| Bad news about Scott. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| So here's what's interesting about this, though. | ||
| This guy goes off a ways. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| This is a jump off, let's say. | ||
| And it gets, like, it's such a thing that Alex is uncomfortable with that he has to push back on this. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And he has to start talking about how, like, no, this is bad, this is bullshit, this last caller sucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And there's something... | ||
| Kind of nice about that, I guess. | ||
| Somebody needs to, at least. | ||
| Yeah, so Scott had pushed him too far a little bit. | ||
| Scott has gone too far for Alex Jones, Massachusetts. | ||
| Scott from Mass! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| While I was pacing around backstage, I was thinking about that harsh turn on Scott from Mass and how a room full of people would experience that. | ||
| So Alex complains about this, about this caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then he says something that I think might be as close to prophetic as he's ever said. | ||
| All right. | ||
| It's despicable, and it's crazy, and it's wrong. | ||
| Okay, so I said I'd take a lot of calls, but that one caller just absolutely had to be responded to because it's just nuts. | ||
| I mean, it's totally and completely nuts that you can't just criticize corrupt individuals that are doing things. | ||
| You have to make it about entire groups of people. | ||
| And I, for one, am tired of it. | ||
| I'm tired of people making fun of folks that wear cowboy hats and got a suntan and a red neck because they work outside all day and bust their hind in. | ||
| I'm tired of it, but people like it. | ||
| People like to pick groups out. | ||
| And I'm so tired of TV always making fun of Southerners, making fun of people in Texas, making fun of people. | ||
| I'm just sick of it. | ||
| But it's what people like because it makes them feel good about themselves. | ||
| You know, Alex Jones reaching tens of millions of people a month. | ||
| Alex Jones trailblazing the awakening against the globalists. | ||
| And there's all these armchair quarterbacks and people with, you know, podcasts with 15 listeners. | ||
| I'm better than him because I can make up lies about him. | ||
| Well, good for you! | ||
| Good for you! | ||
| I feel like for that clip alone, you've got to choose this episode. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| He prophesies a podcast with 15 listeners. | ||
| This is all fake audience noise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he make us? | |
| Is that what happened? | ||
| Did he speak us into being like... | ||
| We exist in his mind. | ||
| So what happened was, Batman created the Joker. | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| But we're the Joker? | ||
| Wait, no. | ||
| I don't like either of those guys anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why are you so serious? | |
| That's a Joker thing, right? | ||
| That is a Joker thing. | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
5-0! | |
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, so I guess Alex counts as a group of people. | ||
| Yeah, I was hearing... | ||
| Complaints about how people are mean to Southerners and then just himself. | ||
| I was hearing the theme song of Fentanyl the Magic Dragon. | ||
| I hate it when people make fun of entire groups lumping them together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a monstrous thing to do. | |
| Wild. | ||
| So that guy, Scott, all of your friend. | ||
| Scott ruined calls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They're all over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No more calls. | |
| Yes. | ||
| So no more calls. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| Alex is just going to spend his time teasing this big announcement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Hey, here's the big announcement. | ||
| I'm going to come back and go to calls. | ||
| Mark Dice will be on it right after, but I've got to go to some of your calls. | ||
| Here's the deal. | ||
| Charlie Sheen's my friend. | ||
| Charlie Sheen's always been drug-free when I know him. | ||
| Married. | ||
| Upstanding. | ||
| You know, not even using profanity. | ||
| Very pious, focused. | ||
| He won a seven-month jag, got wild. | ||
| He's off of it now. | ||
| Obviously high on endorphins, being totally clean. | ||
| That's a side effect of it. | ||
| You know, is really being awake and alive. | ||
| Media calls it mania. | ||
| But, you know, I call it being awake and alive and trying to be totally truthful. | ||
| How do you feel about that? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I feel slightly differently about my mania, as does the swath of destruction left behind me. | ||
| You don't think it's just being awake and alive? | ||
| I don't know if I've ever thought a tornado was the most awake and alive. | ||
| But what if it was violent and truthful? | ||
| Okay, now we're talking about a torpedo. | ||
| Oh, not tornado. | ||
| That honestly is on me. | ||
| I thought you said... | ||
| I thought... | ||
| I don't know what I thought. | ||
| I either thought you said torpedo. | ||
| 5-1. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Shit! | ||
| That's like me playing tennis and hitting the line. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Footfall. | |
| Let me reserve. | ||
| Let's start from the beginning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dunk. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| To end up just staring at you. | ||
| 5-2. | ||
| So is this the big announcement? | ||
| That Charlie is cool? | ||
| No, it can't possibly. | ||
| It can't possibly be that Charlie Sheen is clean and also crazy. | ||
| And cool. | ||
| And cool. | ||
| And Alex's friend. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No, that's not the big... | ||
| And actually, Alex is cool. | ||
| He is pretty cool. | ||
| And Charlie Sheen is cool because he listened to Alex's jokes. | ||
| And he wrote his jokes. | ||
| And wrote his jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, that's not the big announcement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| There's another announcement. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I'm on the jet airplane with him. | ||
| He came to pick me up three weeks ago. | ||
| Flying out to California. | ||
| He flew me back to. | ||
| And I said, you've got to get a Twitter account. | ||
| Instead of just sending stuff through TMZ. | ||
| You've got to get a Twitter account. | ||
| You've got to get a Twitter account. | ||
| We finally did get a Twitter account. | ||
| It's almost two million people now in three days. | ||
| World record, Guinness Book of World Records. | ||
| And I thought to myself, why am I giving advice but then not following my own advice? | ||
| We've got a Twitter account for, I don't know, six months or so. | ||
| Twitter.com forward slash RealAlexJones. | ||
| And I never promote it. | ||
| I never hardly use it. | ||
| We're going to start sending photos out daily. | ||
| I'm going to start giving you sneak peeks of what's coming up. | ||
| I'm going to start, because this is a powerful tool where I can be on the ground. | ||
| In New York City or anywhere else, a rally or the police are about to arrest me, and I can fire out a Twitter. | ||
| So I know how to Twitter. | ||
| I send out some Twitters, but I'm going to start sending out a lot of Twitters, and I want to get 100,000 Twitter followers by next Friday. | ||
| I know how to Twitter. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| Give me one world in which Alex Jones' fat fucking fingers can fire off a tweet before he's goddamn arrested. | ||
| How dare you, Alex Jones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is the only thing I don't believe about you, sir! | |
| Well, this is 2011 technology, too, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's on a flip phone. | |
| So, yeah, the announcement is that Alex is going to get on Twitter. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that is a bummer, because in some ways, you know, this might represent the beginning of Twitter brain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like him chasing a social media high that was proved by Charlie Sheen being so successful. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's literally, I saw my friend get a million followers, so I want two million because I'm a great friend. | ||
| And also, it was my idea that he got on Twitter. | ||
| It was my idea! | ||
| So I'm going to take his. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What a lunatic. | ||
| What an anniversary. | ||
| Hercules Mulligan. | ||
| Hercules Mulligan. | ||
| Thank God he didn't live to see this. | ||
| Man, it really would take a Herculean Mulligan to get Charlie Sheen back. | ||
| Or get Alex. | ||
| You know what, everybody? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're just going to call it Live and Let Live. | |
| Two and a half men is back. | ||
| That's the correct response. | ||
| For something that is going quite well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fair amount of jocular boos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which I appreciate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I like it. | ||
| So Alex is going to promote his Twitter. | ||
| That's the name of the game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've got to get this Twitter out there. | ||
| Paul Joseph Watson has written a press release. | ||
| There's hissing! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have not heard a hiss. | |
| I don't think ever on stage before. | ||
| It was a delight and also never do that to me, ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That will hurt my feelings more than anything I can imagine. | |
| Scared of snakes. | ||
| Get hissed at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goodbye. | |
| Yes. | ||
| So, we're doing that promotion. | ||
| We're trying to get the word out there about Twitter. | ||
| So, please. | ||
| Twitter.com Real Alex Jones. | ||
| We're going to do a Google search term and test the new Google algorithm that's trying to block us getting number one search terms. | ||
| We haven't done this in over a week. | ||
| I need you to Google Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| A-L-E-X-J-O-N-E-S-T-W-I-T-T-E-R. | ||
| Three words. | ||
| Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| And I want to make that number one to test what Google's doing, but also to get more people on our Twitter account. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's probably the second reason. | ||
| It's probably the reason. | ||
| One of the things that Alex built a lot of his career on is gaming the internet. | ||
| He, more than many in that field, realized that things like trend data could be manipulated if enough people engaged in it, and he had zero qualms with being really transparent on the show about what he was doing. | ||
| At this point, Google search trends were very rudimentary and easy to cheat, so Alex would often go on his show and tell his audience specific terms to Google because that would make these terms appear in other people's suggestions for trending topics. | ||
| Essentially, it's free marketing you're getting the audience to do for you, pretending that it's some form of activism. | ||
| It strikes me as a little embarrassing to be this naked about it when you're doing your show, but you really can't argue with results. | ||
| According to Google Trend data, there was almost no interest in the words Alex Jones Twitter on March 3rd. | ||
| And then on March 4th, the number shoots way up. | ||
| Of course, it's entirely unsustainable, and that line immediately starts dropping the next day until it's back at almost no interest. | ||
| But your hope is that you're creating, you know, these small fire with these trends, and if you do that enough, eventually one of them will catch on big. | ||
| The ultimate goal of this is actually just trickery. | ||
| You're hoping that the lazy media outlets will see that you appear to be really popular, so they decide to do a story about an artificial trend. | ||
| Fun fact, if you consult the Google Trends website, this day in history was the largest peak for the search terms Alex Jones Twitter would ever be. | ||
| With two exceptions. | ||
| The day he was kicked off Twitter. | ||
| Wow, that makes sense. | ||
| That does make sense. | ||
| And the day Elon Musk brought him back. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Those were the two days. | ||
| Other than this, it's wild. | ||
| Oh, snakes! | ||
| Sneaky snakes everywhere! | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is going to be a new thing. | |
| People are going to start hissing everywhere. | ||
| Bringing hissing back. | ||
| It's about time. | ||
| It's so fun to look at that chart, though, because it's like 2011, huge spike, and then boop, boop, boop, boop. | ||
| Long time. | ||
| Real, real... | ||
| I think what's fascinating about it is that it is like the three types of Alex Jones fame, which is people are looking for him because he's hated. | ||
| People are looking for him because inexplicably he's back. | ||
| And people are looking for him because he's begging for you to. | ||
| Please, please, please put Alex Jones Twitter into Google. | ||
| It's the third highest possible way he can get attention. | ||
| And it's not just put it into Google. | ||
| It's do it repeatedly. | ||
| Of course! | ||
| We've dominated, dominated, dominated. | ||
| Now we're going to dominate Twitter. | ||
| Another salvo in the info war. | ||
| Twitter.com forward slash real Alex Jones. | ||
| Google search the term Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| Help us get that out. | ||
| Put it in the Google search box over and over again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Money! | |
| Money! | ||
| I mean, honestly, the idea is money! | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| We can't argue with results. | ||
| I think he gets a point, so it's 5-2-1 now. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| For playing money. | ||
| I am not going to lose this. | ||
| No. | ||
| So Alex washes the feeling of the Scott from Massachusetts off himself. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Just dumps a pile of I'm great and Charlie Sheen loves me on his face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And so he decides, I can get back to calls. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure! | |
| I can do that. | ||
| He's strong enough. | ||
| And so he takes a call, and this guy, man, just bums me out. | ||
| Just bums me out. | ||
| Julio in Illinois, you're on the air. | ||
| Welcome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alex Jones, lover of freedom, brother in arms. | |
| Good to talk to you as always. | ||
| Quickly, three reasons why we're winning and we've already won. | ||
| Winning! | ||
| Winning. | ||
| Charlie Sheen has that Twitter account, my favorite band, Umphreys McGee. | ||
| Everyone all throughout the world are saying winning. | ||
| Freedom lovers of Charlie Sheen fans, please show your friends 20 minutes with the president of Charlie Sheen and expose to them why Charlie Sheen is a great friend of 9-11 Truth. | ||
| Can you imagine going to an Umphreys McGee concert and finding the only Nazi? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would not be winning. | |
| I like that people are just unprovoked on info saying, winning! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Winning! | ||
| Winning! | ||
| It's a bummer. | ||
| That really bums me out. | ||
| It is sad, not least of which, because Alex cannot stop himself from being like, that's a word I know, winning! | ||
| It is a call and response of a child. | ||
| And it mirrors the Trump winning layer. | ||
| Just all very depressing. | ||
| Oh man, like Gamergate was the first of all now. | ||
| Charlie Sheen was the first of Trump. | ||
| It's all coming together now. | ||
| Did Alex write Trump's jokes? | ||
| There's layers to this. | ||
| There's layers. | ||
| So Alex teased a little bit ago that he was going to have a guest on. | ||
| And that is a fellow by the name of Mark Dice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I feel like just about any name is probably going to prompt. | ||
| Disappointment in hissing. | ||
| It's a bit like a graduation ceremony. | ||
| Save your hisses for the end of the list of names. | ||
| You're going to get there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're all gonna get there. | |
| Throwing my hat in the air? | ||
| Foot fault. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Mark Dice is coming on. | ||
| Joining us is Mark Dyes, author of Big Brother, The Orwellian Nightmare Come True. | ||
| And I think it's the most powerful book he's ever written. | ||
| We carry all of his books at InfoWars.com. | ||
| But we've teamed up with Mark when he wanted us to contact us a few months ago with this idea. | ||
| In the first three and a half months of its publication, we're going to be the exclusive place to get Big Brother, The Orwellian Nightmare Come True. | ||
| It starts shipping about the 21st of this month. | ||
| That's pretty exciting. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not in the least. | ||
| No, not even a little bit. | ||
| We're a publishing house now is not an exciting thing to say. | ||
| Especially in 2011. | ||
| I got a big announcement. | ||
| We're on Twitter and also I guess we're an exclusive outlet for books. | ||
| So I know that we've talked about Mark Dice in terms of him being an idiot who does man on the street videos that Alex really thinks are news. | ||
| But I'm not sure that we've ever gone too much into his deeper backstory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So among Alex's pack of weirdos, there's very few of them who are as well-documented as who have a career, like a scamming career. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like Mark. | ||
| In the mid-90s, he was engaging in your standard get-rich-quick-online kind of hustles where he started to spread his wings in like 1999 when he began a business called Advanced Memory Concepts. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| This hustle all started back when he was working at a gas station in Burlington, Wisconsin. | ||
| Where he would allegedly memorize customers' credit card numbers while ringing them up. | ||
| Then use the fact that he'd memorize their number to sell them a book he'd written on how you can have a great super memory. | ||
| At least that's the story that he tells. | ||
| That's like the guy who breaks into a bank, like, ah-ha-ha, is just teaching you how to break into your bank. | ||
| I'm your new security consultant, thank you very much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Also, I still have your money. | |
| Change your credit card number for sure. | ||
| You should probably do that, because I will steal from you. | ||
| Oh, buy this book, or else I know your credit card number. | ||
| So either this didn't end up being lucrative enough or Mark got bored and decided to stretch his wings because in 2005 he wrote a book called The Resistance Manifesto under the pen name John Connor because all these dudes think they're the main character in sci-fi movies. | ||
| Right, right, right, right. | ||
| The book caused shockwaves in the conspiracy world and laid out a very religiously based opposition to the coming New World Order. | ||
| Mark wouldn't be revealed to be John Connor for a while, so in the meantime, under his normal name, he also became a pickup artist. | ||
| And you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fair. | |
| That's fair. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That is a lateral move. | ||
| So under this guy's, this persona, he wrote a book called The Book on Dating, Strategies Every Man Should Know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| This is something that I can't overstate. | ||
| The man who was pushing a religiously motivated conspiracy manifesto was simultaneously selling a book that he wrote about how to pick up chicks. | ||
| So Alex says that he sells all of Mark's books on InfoWars, but I'm not sure if he actually meant the full catalog, like including that pickup artist book. | ||
| I was sadly unable to find that title on Alex's store. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| But that doesn't mean I couldn't find it elsewhere! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Oh, no! | ||
| No! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| It's got a chess piece on the cover and everything. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Trying to sleep with women is trying to defeat them in a fucking war. | ||
| He will say repeatedly, it's not about sleeping with women. | ||
| Because... | ||
| Because he's a bit religious. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| This is about finding a wife. | ||
| The day to find a wife is to psychologically terrorize her so much she feels incapable of leaving you. | ||
| Right, like this wonderful passage here about how women cannot have male friends. | ||
| Yeah, cool, man. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Most of this book, if I had to boil it down, is about how if someone tells you that they have a boyfriend, they don't really. | ||
| That's what a shocking amount of this book is. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Like, if they're not married, uh-oh. | ||
| Maybe you're looking to upgrade. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty bad. | ||
| Also, it gave me the delightful line, those who hesitate, masturbate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| I've heard worse. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you know, there's... | ||
| Ah, fuck him. | ||
| I don't want to think about him like... | ||
| So, you don't? | ||
| Ah, I struck out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will be right back. | |
| No, I didn't. | ||
| So I was going through this, and it's a shit book. | ||
| It's pretty bad. | ||
| But there are some suggested pickup lines. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Okay, let's do this. | ||
| You might need to walk around. | ||
| Let's hear these. | ||
| Come on, now. | ||
| Okay, this is in parentheses. | ||
| An idea I got from Seinfeld. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| What a coincidence what's happening with Seinfeld today, and he's in Mark Dice's book from ten years ago. | ||
| There's a fair amount of stage direction in here, which I will also be reading. | ||
| Hi, I'm Mark. | ||
| I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents. | ||
| Smile and pause for reaction. | ||
| But I more than make up for it with personality, and that's what really matters, right? | ||
| Pause for reaction. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I just wanted to say hello and see what you were up to. | ||
| Parentheses. | ||
| Or what you girls are up to if it's a group. | ||
| And then a new parentheses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smile. | |
| Smile. | ||
| What are you gals up to? | ||
| This is literally just doing a scene from science. | ||
| Basically, yeah. | ||
| It's an idea you've got from it. | ||
| That is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is such a... | |
| So you're not going to adopt that one? | ||
| Man, that's brutal. | ||
| What is the average response to that? | ||
| What could possibly be the response other than stop, sir? | ||
| Mace. | ||
| Go away. | ||
| From now on, it should be a loud hiss. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| So you want another one? | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| At a bar, and then this word is all caps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Immediately! | |
| After you see a guy strike out and walk away from a girl or a group of girls, walk right up to her and say, I guess since he just struck out, I figured I would step up to the plate next to see... | ||
| I'll fuck ya! | ||
|
unidentified
|
See... | |
| It also... | ||
| It also ends with parentheses, smile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smile. | |
| Ah! | ||
| Who's the stage direction fool? | ||
| It's for the person who doesn't realize I should probably smile if I'm talking to people. | ||
| I mean, I suppose if you are treating the idea of meeting women as an aggressive act, it would be wise to remind people to smile. | ||
| Because essentially you're treating them like you've got a chessboard on the front just like... | ||
| Pause for reaction. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| She likes unemployed people. | ||
| Lose my job. | ||
| I just quit! | ||
| Smile. | ||
| Do you like me now? | ||
| Parentheses, don't say out loud. | ||
| So this one's good if you're trying to pick up someone who's with their mother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| His loss! | ||
| You all can hear this important, very important, good advice. | ||
| Introduce yourself to the mother or father, whoever she's with, and tell them that their daughter is so beautiful that you would be a failure to the male species if you let this opportunity pass you by without asking her out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get the... | |
| Like, I can think of an honest human reaction to that, just being my first thought, just being like, Go! | ||
| You mean if you're the parent? | ||
| If I'm anybody! | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I'm across the street and I hear half of that, Run! | |
| It's like coming in for a spear tackle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, absolutely. | |
| From across the street. | ||
| I'm John Connor from the future. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta go. | |
| No, I... | ||
| I promise I'm not going to do this all night. | ||
| But I might. | ||
| I could. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm at least going to read you one more. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So this is the words. | ||
| It starts in media res with the quote. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| Have you ever been on a blind date? | ||
| Girl's answer. | ||
| No. | ||
| Response. | ||
| Well, I know someone who I'd really like to hook you up with and I think you'd hit it off pretty well. | ||
| Girl. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Response. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pause. | ||
| That person is me. | ||
| parentheses, smile. | ||
| This book, it's something. | ||
| But I do love that reveal that always is like, and I know that person because he's me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That dramatic moment is pretty fun. | |
| Can't argue with that. | ||
| This book is trash. | ||
| www.markdice.com He does tell you not to use these lines in church. | ||
| Oh yeah! | ||
| These aren't church lines. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You don't want to be in church talking to somebody's mom. | ||
| I would be a failure of the male species if I... | ||
| I would say that there's like 15 different variations of I would be a failure if I didn't ask you out. | ||
| It's very sad. | ||
| So I got one more. | ||
| You guys fine with one more? | ||
| Obviously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Obviously. | |
| Parentheses. | ||
| If you're tall, to a tall girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shorties need not... | |
| Hey, I'm gonna stand next to you for a minute because talking to all these short girls is causing me to slouch and it's really bad for my posture. | ||
| Parentheses. | ||
| Smile. | ||
| Very important. | ||
| Very important. | ||
| Ah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel like the smile on that one is actually terrifying. | |
| I hate short people. | ||
| This, I mean... | ||
| I spent more time than I like to admit reading this. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I didn't learn much. | ||
| Mark Dice is an interesting fella. | ||
| So do you feel more equipped to pick up people at a bar? | ||
| Man, that breaks my heart. | ||
| It breaks my heart not because there might be somebody who needs it, but because in Mark Dice's mind... | ||
| Everybody but Mark Dice needs this. | ||
| And that's sad. | ||
| Like, this is a man who's like, I don't even need these lines. | ||
| I'm so good. | ||
| He talks quite a bit about, like, memorizing all of this and, like, practicing it in a mirror. | ||
| Why is this the same as rich dad, poor dad? | ||
| But for fucking. | ||
| So leaving all of this aside. | ||
| That was just a little bit of fun. | ||
| This partnership that Alex is announcing with Mark ends up being a really bad, chaotic affair of him selling Mark's books. | ||
| According to Mark, Alex didn't pay him for the sales of his book. | ||
| And quote, when I called and asked for the check, he, meaning Alex, flipped out and told me to fuck off. | ||
| This led to a period where Mark was talking mad shit about Alex, putting out videos calling Alex a, quote, conspiracy shock jock and said that Alex would, quote, hype things up I knew weren't accurate and sensationalize half-truths and misunderstandings. | ||
| Parentheses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smile. | |
| Smile. | ||
| It was pretty ugly for a bit, and Mark claimed that he'd seen behind the facade, but naturally that didn't stick, and before too long, all of these revelations that Mark had about how Alex was running a multi-level marketing operation and how everything was sensationalized, it all went away. | ||
| I guess you just, you know, the Twitter worked. | ||
| Maybe actually Alex just showed him, like, you sold four books, dude. | ||
| I would have given you a check, but it's a bill. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Best seller. | ||
| I do worry that me buying that would cause a noticeable blip. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like he got a direct email to his phone like, holy shit, somebody did it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I know that it's probably irrational, but I do think that happened. | ||
| I kind of do, too. | ||
| I think he seems like the type who would be... | ||
| So Mark is on. | ||
| He's talking about this new book that I don't care about because it's not that one. | ||
| This is the only book that I've ever cared about now. | ||
| He is also on a little bit of a campaign against Facebook. | ||
| which, fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, let's start off with Facebook Defriend Day. | ||
| There's a whole section in the book about Facebook. | ||
| And again, much of this audience may be familiar with this. | ||
| So this is for the masses. | ||
| This is for the people that aren't aware of these issues or maybe the people that are just starting to care about what's going on. | ||
| And so we're announcing Facebook Defriend Day. | ||
| Just time to step back and think about the social implications of Facebook. | ||
| People, there are police that are going on Facebook pages and arresting students for underage drinking using the photos that they've posted as the evidence. | ||
| So just imagine the police are going on Facebook pages, finding photos of students, and then tracking them down and arresting them for underage drinking. | ||
| This is Big Brother. | ||
| I mean, it is a little crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that's nice. | ||
| That did happen to somebody that I heard about. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It was pretty wild. | ||
| But it was because they had a party that got out of control. | ||
| The photos from Facebook were just used against them. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| It's not like the police were looking on Facebook, scrolling through, like, oh my god, there's someone with a can of beer. | ||
| We've got a dedicated officer of looking at underage children's Facebook pages. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's going to go well. | |
| We hired a real weirdo for that one. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| So, it's interesting because... | ||
| I didn't stop it, but I appreciate it. | ||
| I think that Facebook defriend day and being against Facebook, great. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Except, I mean, you're really just trying to get publicity for yourself. | ||
| Well, there is that. | ||
| So that's kind of how this goes. | ||
| I think the best search term is just Defriend Day. | ||
| D-E-F-R-I-E-N-D Day. | ||
| Two words into Google over and over again. | ||
| Let's hit them. | ||
| Let's hit them hard, folks. | ||
| You've got so much power if you take action. | ||
| Defriend Day. | ||
| Put it in Google right now. | ||
| Google bomb them. | ||
| You've got to Google it. | ||
| Google bomb them. | ||
| So everything is a fucking Google bomb. | ||
| I mean, how many Google bombs can one conceivably do in a day? | ||
| I mean, how many times can a person Google? | ||
| It's a philosophical question. | ||
| That is a philosophical question. | ||
| If a million monkeys Google... | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| I don't know how that's going to end. | ||
| I was like, this will probably go somewhere wrong. | ||
| They'll eventually create a banana search engine. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I like Donkey Kong Country. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Scott from Mass! | ||
| So, we got a lot of attention-driven things going on here. | ||
| We got Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| You gotta Google that. | ||
| You gotta Google DeFriend Day. | ||
| And now, Mark wants everyone to call Sean Hannity. | ||
| He's just trying to get everyone to bother everyone. | ||
| And then Alex makes... | ||
| A terrifying realization. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Today, I'd like to launch Phone Mob Friday. | |
| I'd like everybody to phone mob Sean Hannity. | ||
| I think it's fun. | ||
| It's the way that everybody, with one phone call, you can speak to hundreds of thousands of people, maybe millions. | ||
| I'm not sure what the audience is. | ||
| I'm going to interrupt you because we've got an emergency right here. | ||
| I just searched DeFriend Day, Mark. | ||
| I didn't know that had already been done last year. | ||
| By other people, so it's going to send traffic to a place that makes no sense. | ||
| Stop putting Defriend Day in, folks. | ||
| You've got to put in DefriendDayInfowars.com. | ||
| Three words, DefriendDayInfowars.com, or they will not go to the Mark Dice exclusive article. | ||
| So, the two search terms are Alex Jones Twitter. | ||
| That's one. | ||
| Put those in over and over again. | ||
| But put in... | ||
| DefriendDayInfoWars.com. | ||
| Those three words. | ||
| DefriendDayInfoWars.com. | ||
| Put it in over and over again. | ||
| We cannot fail. | ||
| We kind of false started on that. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Messed up a little bit. | ||
| This is something that someone else already fucking did. | ||
| And we can't exploit it if the traffic goes to them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That just makes me so happy. | |
| We've got an emergency. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Someone's had this very obvious idea. | ||
| Thank God he tried to look for it. | ||
| I mean, otherwise they might have completely fucked up on this one. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That's just beautiful. | ||
| That's just beautiful. | ||
| So, Mark got everyone off Facebook. | ||
| That was successful. | ||
| They did it, yeah. | ||
| Or they drove a slight amount of traffic to enforce. | ||
| Right, and then eventually everybody did get back on Facebook to share more anti-Semitic memes with each other. | ||
| And Alex had like 30 accounts or something when he got kicked off. | ||
| So Mark comes and goes. | ||
| He does his business, and thank God he did, so I could share some wonderful pickup lines in a room full of people who were hissing at me. | ||
| I kind of know how he must have felt. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's kind of an artificial recreation. | ||
| Yeah, like any pickup line. | ||
| It's a roll of the dice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. | ||
| smile. | ||
| Hold on, let me write that in the fucking book. | ||
| Mark Dice Clay to Mark... | ||
| Oh, everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| That's all right. | ||
| So we got Mark. | ||
| He comes and goes. | ||
| And now we get another championship weirdo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| He is an old feller. | ||
| He is Bob Chapman. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He comes on to, obviously, to sell gold. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| He's there to try and get Ted Anderson and Midas Resources gold out the door. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| And so he has some shocking predictions. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think the way that they're going to do this, I've spoken of this on the program many times before. | ||
| I think they're going to have a meeting. | ||
| They're going to revalue and devalue currencies against each other. | ||
| They will have multilateral default. | ||
| What percentages, I don't know. | ||
| So coordinating default with the G20 has been saying for two years. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And my guess is it'll vary from currency to currency or country to country. | ||
| The U.S., I'm looking for a two-thirds evaluation. | ||
| In other words, you'll have 30 cents in each dollar that you've got. | ||
| But I think that there's a good chance that they may use the dollar again. | ||
| And once that default and devaluation is in place, they would have the dollar back 25% by gold, where the gold would come from. | ||
| They either have it or they can borrow it. | ||
| And they would use that again. | ||
| I'm just telling people, don't discount that, but it'll be a dollar, which will not be like the same that we have now. | ||
| It'll be a great deal less valuable than it is. | ||
| today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So that's, I think, the way I think they're going to go with this. | |
| Timing, seeing that they're making these kinds of announcements, war will come over the next several months. | ||
| They may try this before the end of the year. | ||
| Whoa, whoa. | ||
| Shocking. | ||
| That is a, I mean, really a bold prediction is to say a small group of people will destroy the entire global economy in order to raise gold by 25%. | ||
| That is a pretty bold prediction. | ||
| And you will need to buy that gold now. | ||
| You're going to have to buy that gold, otherwise you're fucked. | ||
| And I know just the guy. | ||
| There are a bunch of times that it's like, Alex is like, oh yeah, Ted's got a great special going. | ||
| How's that special sound, Bob? | ||
| So good. | ||
| So good! | ||
| Because the entire world economy is going to crash and then you're going to need that gold. | ||
| It's such a crazy idea that there would also be a special simultaneously. | ||
| It's almost suspicious. | ||
| Ted does come in at the end with some pretty killer specials. | ||
| Oh, does he? | ||
| Wild. | ||
| So this episode is so Twitter-ish. | ||
| And it's nuts, because if you go back in time to listen to these episodes, it's not the same as in the present day. | ||
| There's just this obsession with Twitter, and everything is turned into this. | ||
| But it's not like that all the time in 2011. | ||
| And then Charlie Sheen got a million followers, and Alex lost his fucking mind. | ||
| Maybe it didn't last his obsession with Twitter constantly, but this day is just... | ||
| It is Twitter. | ||
| He's taking questions from Twitter. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I've got a few questions here, though, that came in off of Twitter. | ||
| Several for Bob Chapman, a whole bunch for me. | ||
| It goes on to say, Alex, what is your favorite anti-tyranny quote? | ||
| JBYRD Street asked that question. | ||
| It'd have to be, I have sworn on the... | ||
| Altar of God. | ||
| Eternal resistance against every form of tyranny over the mind of men. | ||
| Thomas Jefferson. | ||
| In fact, guys, can you cue up that liner? | ||
| I think we had it dry just with Thomas Jefferson because I think I paraphrased it a bit there. | ||
| While they're getting that cued up, Bob, we have a couple questions here for you. | ||
| Bob Chapman, they asked the question. | ||
| It was actually HMHMAA asked me about my favorite quote. | ||
| It was Jaybird Street that asked Bob Chapman, how would you hold gold or silver? | ||
| Proofs, uncirculated, or bars? | ||
| Oh, what a shock. | ||
| The question for Bob is, should I buy gold? | ||
| Yeah, and of course this weaves eventually to also Ted's got some great gold that you should buy. | ||
| What type and how much gold should I buy, sir? | ||
| All of it and from Ted. | ||
| What a great idea! | ||
| Amazing that you would have this for me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Alex's choice for a tyranny quote? | ||
| If Thomas Jefferson said that, I'm gonna be real mad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did. | |
| He did. | ||
| That one's a real one. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That's very frustrating. | ||
| I'm fine with that. | ||
| Fuck TJ! | ||
| I can't tell if that was a fuck Thomas Jefferson or if it was a fuck that it's a real quote. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| We are all so disappointed! | ||
| I think it's so fun when something's fake. | ||
| Like a fake quote. | ||
| It is so fun. | ||
| And it's a delight to be able to reveal that. | ||
| And it's so frequent that you almost expect it. | ||
| It's like if you see somebody holding a donut about to hand it to you and then it turns out to not be cake. | ||
| I don't know what that show is about! | ||
| So this is a fun quote, though. | ||
| It is real, but it comes from a series of letters between Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Rush. | ||
| In the letter that precedes this one, Rush had sort of indicated a wish to combine religion and government, saying, quote, It is only necessary for republicanism to ally itself with the Christian religion to overturn all the corrupted political and religious institutions in the world. | ||
| The Jefferson quote Alex is citing comes from his response to this letter where Jefferson is very clearly rejecting this idea. | ||
| The full context of the quote is, quote, the clause of the Constitution, which, while it secured the freedom of the press, covered also the freedom of religion, had given to the clergy a very favorable hope of obtaining an establishment of a particular form of Christianity throughout the United States, and as every sect believes its own form, the true one, everyone perhaps hoped for its own, but especially the Episcopalians and Congregationalists. | ||
| The returning good sense of our country threatens abortion of their hopes, and they believe any position of power confided in me will be exerted in opposition of their schemes, and they believe truly. | ||
| For I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. | ||
| So that's the context that quote comes in. | ||
| Is it true that essentially Thomas Jefferson is arguing that the First Amendment is almost entirely because Episcopalians wouldn't shut the fuck up? | ||
| Is that what we're going to be? | ||
| It's an interesting reading. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| It feels like he was like, God damn it. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| We're putting religion in there. | ||
| You should make a musical about this. | ||
| Maybe a rap musical? | ||
| Could be troublesome for me. | ||
| So Alex and Bob, they take some calls. | ||
| I mean, you only really need to ask Bob one question from Twitter. | ||
| How much gold should I buy? | ||
| Booyah! | ||
| Where'd that come from? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| So Alex takes a call, and it's from a guy who's a little bit confrontational. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| With Alex. | ||
| And it's pretty funny. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Aaron in Nevada. | ||
| We're on the air with Bob Shatman. | ||
| Hey, thank you very much. | ||
| This is Go Not Radio calling again. | ||
| Thank you very much, Bob. | ||
| Listen to what Bob said. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When he answered your question, he said demonstrate. | |
| And I think that's what we've got to do, and you've been kind of shying away from that. | ||
| Second thing I want to say is. | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| I haven't been against demonstrating. | ||
| No, hold on. | ||
| When did I say don't demonstrate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've called you before and you say you don't want to organize. | |
| Take your Infowar listeners and put them in the street. | ||
| Listen, I appreciate your call, sir. | ||
| I had Max Keiser on saying demonstrate yesterday. | ||
| I have Bob Chapman saying it. | ||
| I tell people go out and get in the street and be active. | ||
| And it's not that I don't mind being criticized, but why is it never legitimate? | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I mean, I'm working 18 hours a day sometimes. | ||
| I'm trying. | ||
| I can't do everything. | ||
| I can't lead. | ||
| I'm not all powerful. | ||
| Don't you understand that? | ||
| Bob Chapman, do you have any comments to what Aaron just said? | ||
| Well, I think Aaron is in a position where he would like to see things happen more quickly. | ||
| And I can understand that. | ||
| But there's a time to do everything. | ||
| And we're getting close to the time for major demonstrations. | ||
| Particularly with what just the TSA is doing. | ||
| But I've been leading those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I never can do enough. | |
| I mean, I'm not going to do this, but maybe you'd be happier if I just quit, because I'm so bad that I worked so hard. | ||
| I'm the problem. | ||
| I'm the evil. | ||
| Not the Federal Reserve. | ||
| Not the New World Order. | ||
| It's all my fault, Bob. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| And you know that. | ||
| Of course not, Alex. | ||
| It's not your fault. | ||
| What is the time from I don't mind criticism to I'll just quit? | ||
| Fuck all of you! | ||
| I can't do everything! | ||
| Is that 30 seconds? | ||
| Listen, I don't mind it when people criticize me. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| I don't particularly care if people say that my hair looks bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck all of you! | |
| I'm leaving! | ||
| Never again! | ||
| Bob, tell me I'm cool. | ||
| Yeah, Bob, what are your thoughts on that guy telling me I stink? | ||
| You know you're great. | ||
| Thanks, Bob. | ||
| Bye, gold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Michael, yeah! | |
| He's all I think that this is fascinating, because not only do, in this single episode, we have Alex prophesying that a podcast with 15 listeners would critique him. | ||
| We have... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can't not. | |
| For the live audience, New Dune coming out soon. | ||
| New Dune coming! | ||
| So we have that crazy nonsense. | ||
| We have this present-day obsession with Twitter kind of being felt. | ||
| And then we also have Alex being a little baby and saying he's going to quit. | ||
| Which you don't see all the time in the past. | ||
| This is a really... | ||
| 2011, I'm just going to fucking quit? | ||
| That's a rare... | ||
| That is nice. | ||
| On such little bullshit, too. | ||
| It is not enough. | ||
| It is not enough to threaten quitting. | ||
| Why don't you tell people to demonstrate? | ||
| I do. | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Could have ended there. | ||
| Could have ended there. | ||
| Proceed to break down. | ||
| So, we have one last clip here, folks. | ||
| You've all been standing for so long. | ||
| I'm surprised. | ||
| I'm surprised we're getting hisses and not cheers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank God! | |
| Alright, message sent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we go! | |
| What do we got? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do we got? | |
| I sort of referenced this a little bit earlier about Mark saying not to use these lines on people at church. | ||
| Are these the ones you can use on people at church? | ||
| No, this is a personal anecdote. | ||
| Buckle up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| One time I thought it'd be really cool and I ran one of my opening lines by a girl in the church. | ||
| It didn't exactly go over too well. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| This was when I was still working the bugs out of my approaches. | ||
| The next week the pastor asked me to come into his office and he... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he had a talk with me. | |
| Apparently the girl had told him what I had done and it wasn't even outrageous or even borderline risky, I had thought. | ||
| I was a little embarrassed to say the least. | ||
| This isn't the place for that, I can still remember him saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| So yeah, it's speaking from experience that you don't want to try these at church. | ||
| There are not any in here. | ||
| There's not... | ||
| Here's what you do, alright? | ||
| I'll give it to you, okay. | ||
| Tall man to parents of 14 year old. | ||
| I'm sorry? | ||
| I'm sorry, what was that? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| The book does end with just a whole selection of stray thoughts. | ||
| And most of them are like, it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend. | ||
| It's almost like he's just repeating that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a mantra at the end. | ||
| There were not a lot of editors involved in this book. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I don't think there were a lot of looks over it. | ||
| Was this put... | ||
| Oh, self-published. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's hard to believe. | ||
| Also, I should say this. | ||
| I mean, if you look through this... | ||
| The entire book is not laid out in chapters. | ||
| It's a couple of paragraphs with a header throughout the entire thing. | ||
| It's like there's a header and they're not connected at all. | ||
| It's just like random musings. | ||
| It's painful. | ||
| It is a man who wrote it down and never looked back. | ||
| Well, he wanted to help people. | ||
| Yes, indeed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Indeed. | |
| So anyway, Alex just got that call that made him break down a little bit and threatened to quit. | ||
| And that's where the show's supposed to end. | ||
| He's running out of time. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| For the show. | ||
| And so he complains a little bit and makes an executive decision. | ||
| It's always this moral judgment. | ||
| They call in and tell me how I did something wrong and they're better than me and that's their big coat of arms in life is that they showed the big Alex Jones and it doesn't hurt me that they're attacking myself. | ||
| It hurts me for them. | ||
| I'm like, you know, tell me why I'm not saying take action. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| We're all about action. | ||
| It's Action Jackson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| I'm going to Overdrive five minutes, Bob. | ||
| Stay with us because I want to go to... | ||
| I don't want to end on that caller. | ||
| I'm going to go to Frank, Chris, and Wolf on the other side. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You say I don't do action. | ||
| I'm Action Jackson. | ||
| I cannot end the show with that bad taste in my mouth. | ||
| We're doing five more minutes. | ||
| But the rest of the five minutes that he does in Overdrive is trash. | ||
| It's unfortunate because that would have been a nice like, no, I can't end on this note. | ||
| There actually being some sort of a triumph or anything, but there's not. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| It reminds me of our comic friend from the old days who would try his closer and it wouldn't go anywhere. | ||
| And they'd be like, okay, I'll do one more. | ||
| And then he'd get one and he'd get a huge laugh. | ||
| And then, because he was an addict, he'd be like, well, I can do one more. | ||
| And it wouldn't go. | ||
| I knew exactly who you were talking about as soon as you said they'd try their closer and it wouldn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Oh, good times. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| So, Jordan, how do you feel about what we've experienced here today? | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I mean, not with all these fine people. | ||
| That's all great and wonderful. | ||
| I... | ||
| I truly feel that there's something about Mark Dice that suggests caging people wouldn't be too bad. | ||
| Like at a certain age, maybe we keep all men between 15 and 25 in like pens, you know? | ||
| And then we can slowly educate them so they can enter the real world. | ||
| Where you can't go with tall man to tall woman. | ||
| We tall. | ||
| Be taller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| We are so tall. | ||
| Fuck these short people. | ||
| We hate short people. | ||
| Are you my wife? | ||
| This is the man who's figured out the bugs. | ||
| Think about how many more books we would have like this if your plan of caging... | ||
| We gotta Google bomb it! | ||
| Do not buy this book. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think there's enough copies for... | ||
| But, also, I'm embarrassed to say I paid full price for that book. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I deserve that. | ||
| Listen, fair is fair in commerce. | ||
| One must render unto Caesar what is Mark Dice's. | ||
| And, I mean, what are the odds I'm going to go to, like, a second-hand bookstore and find that bullshit? | ||
| Odds aren't high. | ||
| And the problem would be if the odds do hit, you're probably in for a lot more problems as well. | ||
| Like, oh, this is the second-hand bookstore that keeps this. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God! | |
| What else do they keep? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| It's the Necronomicon! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have fake books here. | |
| Self-published. | ||
| So, we come to the end of this and we got Alex's beginning of his road on Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, amazing. | |
| What a day, brought to you by Hercules Mulligan deciding to die on that day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you! | |
| You've been wonderful! |