#844: March 12-15, 2004
In this installment, Dan and Jordan find Alex falling victim to a very real Globalist hack attack after his first appearance on Coast to Coast. Plus, Alex discusses two recent trips to SeaWorld and tries his hand at comedy.
Sept. 1, 2023 - Knowledge Fight
01:22:35
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys saying we are the bad guys. | |
| Knowledge fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dan and Jordan. | |
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| I need, I need money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Andy in Kansas. | |
| Stop it. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| It's time to pray. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first time caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your world. | ||
| Knowledge Fight. | ||
| KnowledgeFight.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love you. | |
| Hey, everybody! | ||
| Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Jordan. | |
| We're a couple dudes like to sit around, worship at the altar of Selene, and talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Oh, indeed we are. | ||
| Dan. | ||
| Jordan. | ||
| Dan. | ||
| Jordan. | ||
| Quick question for you. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What's your bright spot today, bud? | ||
| My bright spot today, Jordan, is I've been feeling a bit down. | ||
| I mentioned a number of episodes back, you know, sort of a depression dip, as they say. | ||
| And unfortunately, it has lingered a bit. | ||
| You know, it's a hit-and-miss process, trying to negotiate and navigate medication and stuff. | ||
| So we've tried a number of things and kind of either not had the results that I would have wanted or some side effects. | ||
| You know, balancing that out is tough. | ||
| I just started a new regimen, so we'll see if this one works out. | ||
| But anyway, I've been down, been bummed out, and so I was looking for things that could make me a little bit happier. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And, of course, I love Legos. | ||
| Love mini blocks. | ||
| You do love Legos. | ||
| So I have my newest project. | ||
| Oh, you got a Grogu. | ||
| I got a Grogu. | ||
| You're a Groguer. | ||
| I got the child. | ||
| I was not expecting them to make a Grogu out of Legos. | ||
| Yeah, a little Lego Grogu. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It just came. | ||
| I've not opened up the box yet, but let's see. | ||
| How many pieces are we talking about here? | ||
| 700. | ||
| 1,073. | ||
| 1,073. | ||
| Oh, I thought I was being silly. | ||
| That's a lot of pieces. | ||
| Yeah, because it's little tiny pieces, you know? | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I'm very excited. | ||
| I'm excited to put this together. | ||
| I love the process of just sort of zen-like focus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Putting little blocks of blocks on top of blocks. | |
| And then you end up with the child. | ||
| Is that where they come from traditionally? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It's fun, though. | ||
| I've never watched The Mandalorian, and I don't really like Star Wars that much. | ||
| I was going to say, yeah, you have no interest in either of those things. | ||
| There's a decent chance I'll just give it to you once I've built it. | ||
| I mean, sure. | ||
| I'll take it. | ||
| I don't hate Star Wars or anything. | ||
| I think if I had a gun to my head, I think I'm a Star Trek guy. | ||
| Yeah, of course you are. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| And I think that's probably an artifact of growing up. | ||
| Like, my dad loved Star Trek, and we watched Next Generation growing up. | ||
| And then, I guess, what was the one after that? | ||
| Deep Space Nine? | ||
| Deep Space Nine. | ||
| Watched a bit of Deep Space Nine. | ||
| That was the one with Whoopi on it, right? | ||
| I believe so, yes. | ||
| And it just wasn't, I guess, wasn't quite the same. | ||
| I got used to Picard. | ||
| And our main man, Riker. | ||
| You know, I feel like a lot of people treat Star Trek very similarly to the way Brits treat Doctor Who. | ||
| Like, you know what? | ||
| Honestly, Picard's my captain. | ||
| It's just my guy. | ||
| I'm not the original. | ||
| I'm not the next gen. It's just Picard for me. | ||
| I think that they're... | ||
| Yeah, especially depending on your age, too. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| Like, I think if I were to get back into watching it, I think I'd have... | ||
| An easier time with the other installments in the catalog. | ||
| Whereas when I was a kid, no, there's no Picard or Riker in here. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I want data. | ||
| And I'll tell you what. | ||
| Where's Worf? | ||
| Chris Pine ain't gonna do it. | ||
| Chris Pine ain't cutting shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Where is Dr. Crusher? | ||
| Where is... | ||
| Q, I guess Q is in probably, he's in a bunch of them, right? | ||
| Isn't he like a fanciful entity that exists throughout multiple Star Trek series? | ||
| Like a Brit Mitzel pixie stick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| He's a pixie stick. | ||
| Yeah, what's his name? | ||
| Who else was on there? | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm tapped. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I was the Star Wars guy, never a Star Trek guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bones! | |
| No, that was the original one. | ||
| That was the original Star Trek. | ||
| No? | ||
| No Star Trek for you? | ||
| What am I gonna... | ||
| Star Trek watcher? | ||
| I'm a doctor, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I... | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Bones. | ||
| I was trying a Bones thing. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| The riff didn't work. | ||
| Wait, you're talking about the TV show Bones? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Starring... | ||
| Las Vegas. | ||
| Boreanaz. | ||
| No. | ||
| What's their name? | ||
| The... | ||
| The person who plays Bones? | ||
| The lady who plays Bones? | ||
| What are we doing here? | ||
| We're just two old men talking now. | ||
| Also featuring, I believe, this could be a fragment of my memory that is entirely wrong, but I believe in Bones. | ||
| One of the characters was played by the guy who played the cop in How High. | ||
| The bike cop on campus from How High. | ||
| Ah, that movie is great. | ||
| Probably doesn't hold up. | ||
| I strongly suggest not watching How High again. | ||
| I watched it and I remember it so fondly. | ||
| And I know I can feel... | ||
| Already I'm mad at myself for having brought up the thought. | ||
| Because I know it's not as good as it was. | ||
| Yeah, I probably watched it a hundred times. | ||
| Very high! | ||
| Very high! | ||
| I smoked a lot of weed. | ||
| It was the correct... | ||
| It was of its place and of its time. | ||
| But it still does live on with... | ||
| Within me, because that scene with Spalding Gray. | ||
| Spalding Gray plays a professor. | ||
| Yeah, that one is interesting. | ||
| And then the get him! | ||
| That's from Hawaii. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Spalding Gray. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Woof. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Maybe his last movie role. | ||
| It's always fun. | ||
| That's your Orson Welles fucking pee commercial kind of shit right there where you're like, that's the way those guys gotta go. | ||
| You just gotta go out like that. | ||
| You have to have something that is bizarre as trivia for your last thing. | ||
| Totally, yeah. | ||
| That's why I encourage every big name actor and actress and, you know, this person, TV... | ||
| Actors, movie actors, everybody. | ||
| Film something weird and release it right when you're in a movie or whatever. | ||
| Well, no, because that doesn't work. | ||
| That's cheating the system. | ||
| It has to happen organically. | ||
| It has to be poignant and almost like... | ||
| It's almost a lesson learned, you know? | ||
| Almost like a lesson for me, and a lesson about how fame, there's an arc to it that always collapses. | ||
| You can't cling to it too long, otherwise you see what happens to you. | ||
| You know, like, there's a whole art to teaching the universe about wasting your life in some ways. | ||
| Just trying to think of, like, Spaldinger, like other movies he might have been, because there was that, and everything is going fine, but that was a documentary, and I think that came out posthumously. | ||
| Yeah, oh hi, probably it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Anyway, also in that movie, everybody, everybody's in that movie. | ||
| Hits from the streets, the BET host Hits played I Need Money. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Mike Epps, Powder. | ||
| You know... | ||
| Hector Alessandro. | ||
| The Epps... | ||
| Echoed throughout history. | ||
| Was Fred Willard in that? | ||
| Left his mark, you know? | ||
| Mike Epps has really left his mark. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| He left a mark behind, which I would not have expected after having watched how high way back when. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| He's great in the Friday movies that aren't Friday. | ||
| The other ones. | ||
| Anyway, what's your bright spot? | ||
| My bright spot? | ||
| Adventure Time. | ||
| With Fiona and Cake. | ||
| There's a new series. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright? | |
| Fun. | ||
| So far, I just saw the first episode. | ||
| From what I understand, from what I can see, we're kind of in an opposite situation, you know? | ||
| Like, original Adventure Time, you see some human kid in a place where, ah, that's not where a human kid's supposed to be. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Alright, now we see Fiona. | ||
| It's not where Fiona's supposed to be. | ||
| Are you talking about Shrek's wife? | ||
| It's a little bit... | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Just checking. | ||
| Finn, Fiona. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's a play on things. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Anyways, there's a lot of lore behind it, but it should be interesting, and at the very least, I'm excited to watch it. | ||
| So that's my break spot. | ||
| I'm thrilled for you, because I know your love of Adventure Time. | ||
| I love Adventure Time. | ||
| I'm happy for you. | ||
| Pendleton Ward. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Also, I wanted to check in on tennis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How'd that go? | ||
| Old man Andy Murray just lost, along with old man John Eisner. | ||
| Now, John Eisner, all right, is 6 '10". | ||
| Oh. | ||
| This was his last year U.S. Open. | ||
| Retired this year. | ||
| That doesn't feel like it is advantageous for tennis. | ||
| It is advantageous in one very specific way. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| His average serve at his height was like 140 miles an hour. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| So John Eisner played the longest match in Wimbledon history. | ||
| It was 11 hours, and it took three days to do, right? | ||
| And the reason that it took so long... | ||
| That's way long, shit. | ||
| The reason that it took so long is because it was two guys who were both very, very tall and could serve 145 miles an hour. | ||
| So they were just kind of going back and forth. | ||
| They were just going back and forth for... | ||
| Days. | ||
| Literally days. | ||
| Frustrating. | ||
| They changed the rules of tennis because people like John Eisner are so boring to watch. | ||
| Because it's like, hey, okay, fine. | ||
| That's kind of a dubious honor. | ||
| It's a dubious honor, but he made it all the way through a 20-year career. | ||
| Fucking man. | ||
| How's Sazerac doing? | ||
| Is Sazerac not doing great? | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| No. | ||
| Better than Balzerac. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| On air to Balzerac? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, I have another bright spot. | ||
| Yeah, what's that? | ||
| Joe Biggs, Rambo Joe Biggs, proud boy, and former InfoWars employee was just sentenced to 17 years in prison over January 6th, so that's fun. | ||
| Also, 17, Q, come on. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| What? | ||
| Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet, so like 17 is a big number within QAnon circles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Man! | ||
| 17 years? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| That's a sign! | ||
| I don't, like... | ||
| Follow the plan, Jordan. | ||
| I don't like finding shit out like that. | ||
| That feels unfair to me. | ||
| You shouldn't just be able to be like, oh yeah, no, no, no, Q's the 17th letter. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, there's gotta be more than that! | ||
| But you understand how much of, like, a lot of that decoding of the Q drops and stuff involves obscure numerology and making leaps and, like, word riddles. | ||
| I know, but come on, you can't. | ||
| You gotta do more than that. | ||
| I think it's really cute that that is something you didn't know, because that seems like pretty basic QAnon stuff. | ||
| Well, see, that's the thing. | ||
| I don't know the basic QAnon stuff. | ||
| I only know what very advanced researchers tell me. | ||
| And they're not wasting their time with being like, oh, no, it's the 17th letter. | ||
| We're busy! | ||
| We got shit to do! | ||
| Well... | ||
| They're committing crimes! | ||
| Joe Biggs' cue, it's confirmed. | ||
| Alright, that sounds... | ||
| Where Joe goes one, Joe goes 17. George Djokovic goes one. | ||
| Sazerac goes all. | ||
| So, Jordan, today we have an episode to go over, and I decided what we would do is... | ||
| Go to the past. | ||
| Go to the past. | ||
| So we're going to be talking about March 12th and 15th today. | ||
| That's a Friday and a Monday. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Man, oh man. | ||
| We've, like, we're in a desert. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| There is not a lot going on. | ||
| There was the Madrid bombing that happened that we talked about on the last time we were in the past. | ||
| And Alex has some thoughts about that, but nothing really all that interesting. | ||
| And, uh, oof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| So, uh, that's why there's two episodes, and this is still gonna be short. | ||
| There's not a lot going on. | ||
| But, something incredibly fun. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Alex went to a theme park. | ||
| Okay, now I'm excited. | ||
| So we'll talk about all this here in a moment, but first, Jordan, let's say hello to some new wonks. | ||
| Ooh, that's a great idea. | ||
| Also, thank you so much to everybody for the kind words about the Bray Wyatt drops. | ||
| I recognize that was a little bit long and indulgent, but yeah, so thanks for going along. | ||
| Now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| First, large floppy Wheaties don't fit into my bikini without zucchini martini, or does Alex have a better idea for me and my Queenie to keep from exposing our elites? | ||
| Shouldn't it have been, like, Elities? | ||
| Could have worked Wheaties in there, too. | ||
| Anyway, you're a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a policy wonk! | |
| Thank you very much! | ||
| I get that that's a riff on Snoop's verse from California Girls by Katy Perry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Martinis, zucchinis, bikinis, no weenies, just a king and his queenie. | ||
| I do recall that being a lyric, and then I was like, oh yeah, Snoop Dogg. | ||
| Time. | ||
| Really hurt everybody, didn't it? | ||
| No, but I like it. | ||
| Zucchinis. | ||
| Sure you do. | ||
| I like to imagine that it's actual zucchinis. | ||
| I mean, I assume that it's a blunt, right? | ||
| I mean, like it's green, and I assume that it's like a zucchini blunt. | ||
| It's like a fat blunt or something. | ||
| But I prefer to think it's like, no, we have a garden salad. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| We have martinis and a garden salad. | ||
| And no weenies are allowed. | ||
| No weenies allowed. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| No hot dogs. | ||
| Strict bikini dress code. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| Next. | ||
| Hi, Dan. | ||
| This is Hank's brother, Chris. | ||
| I heard his really long shout-out from a couple months ago and wanted to get in on that action. | ||
| So here's a ridiculously long policy wonk shout-out from me, too. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you very much! | |
| Next, we are the cult of leftist forest rangers. | ||
| Our greatest peeve is Alex's utter inability to say the word supremacist. | ||
| Resistance is futile. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you very much. | |
| Next, in regards to episode 664, Brett and Paul are in fact besties. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you very much! | ||
| I like that there's a continuity of shoutouts. | ||
| Multiple of these are references to shoutouts from the past. | ||
| And we get a technocrat in the mix, Jordan. | ||
| So thank you so much to Dan. | ||
| I've been waiting for over a year for my wonk shoutout, and sorry to do this to you, but you brought it on yourself. | ||
| Who's there? | ||
| You busted. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a technocrat. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Call home to your mother and tell her you're brilliant. | |
| Someone sodomite sent me a bucket of poop. | ||
| Daddy Shark. | ||
| Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp. | ||
| Jar Jar Binks has a Caribbean black accent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a loser little titty baby. | |
| I don't want to hate black people. | ||
| I renounce Jesus Christ! | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Yes, thank you very much. | ||
| Not enough people getting busted lately. | ||
| There's not a lot of busting. | ||
| Recently we have been free of busts. | ||
| So, to continue a thread from the last episode that we did, Alex was just invited on to Coast to Coast AM for the first time. | ||
| And so when we pick up here on the 12th, this is just after that appearance. | ||
| And what do you know? | ||
| He's got a much larger audience now. | ||
| And talking to my administrator, we now have Infowars.com and PrisonPlanet.com spread over several servers. | ||
| We now have a backup server at PrisonPlanet.tv, and of course there's Infowars.net as a backup server. | ||
| Before I went on Coast to Coast AM yesterday, and we never had this happen, Something got into one of the servers and actually destroyed it internally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't see that happen, but they replaced it. | |
| And then this morning, we got about 4 million visitors last night. | ||
| Then this morning, as the traffic went down, we had more, again, and these are IT people looking at it. | ||
| I don't just get up here on the air and say this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've had more governmental attacks. | |
| They do not want people in 50 states and Canada and all over the world hearing me lay out news articles about concentration camps and foreign troops and then having them be able to go and actually see it posted. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| So you went on coast to coast. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Bunch of people got drawn to his sources of information and the government could not take this. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| No, so they had to throw a wrench in the gears or however you want to put it. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I see a hand raised. | ||
| I just appreciate the idea of, like, hey, listen, I'm an IT person. | ||
| This is the government. | ||
| Oh, it's the government. | ||
| This is totally the government. | ||
| There's no one else this could be. | ||
| Hey, Alex, I'm going to give you the clearance to just go ahead. | ||
| It's the government. | ||
| Listen, the fingerprints. | ||
| Our government! | ||
| They're all over the, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I'm an IT guy, so of course I know that it's the government. | ||
| I do seem to notice that every time Alex has an influx of traffic, there's a hack attack. | ||
| Now, what's fun about that is it does go both directions. | ||
| I could say Alex has a poorly constructed internet infrastructure, and whenever there is increased traffic, his shit falls apart, because it's not used to dealing with that kind of traffic and can't handle it. | ||
| That would be a reasonable assumption. | ||
| Now, simultaneously, Alex can just say, hey, I got a bunch more traffic and that's threatening to the globalists, so they put a hit out on my servers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we're both sitting here, dwindling our thumbs and being like, well, I guess either is... | ||
| It's Schrodinger's servers, you know? | ||
| Basically the same thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Nobody can... | ||
| I can't prove him wrong. | ||
| He can't prove me wrong. | ||
| Well, I mean, what's fun about it is that he has one concrete reason to continue doing that, and that is that he is lazy, and he can just say that it's gremlins. | ||
| But I mean, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's the luxury of being in a space where you can say, IT guy said it's the fucking government. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that why would you upgrade it? | ||
| Because now it's also part of your lore that it should go down whenever you've got big news. | ||
| Yeah, and it only serves to reinforce how important you are and what a threat you are to these imaginary enemies. | ||
| I mean, it's a good game. | ||
| I understand why you play it. | ||
| I just think it's stupid. | ||
| It's very stupid. | ||
| But that's because it's... | ||
| The government. | ||
| Yeah, he talks about this a little bit more, and then he has a... | ||
| It's very sad, very sad that this limits him in some ways. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Poor guy. | ||
| Man, it's very frustrating because there it all is for people to prove everything I was laying out. | ||
| And it was there last night, and we were all able to follow along with it. | ||
| We were actually waking up millions of people. | ||
| And then today, when all those good folks go to work and want to tell people how they can go look at it for themselves, we could have potentially woken up millions of people, but instead... | ||
| We have our friends, obviously with the NSA, just having an absolute field day with us right now. | ||
| After all, DARPA designed the Internet. | ||
| They control it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| So do me a favor. | ||
| Tell everybody about Infowars.com and PrisonPlanet.com, because there's just incredible updates there on both the sites. | ||
| Paul Watson, the webmaster of Prison Planet, worked a 24-hour workday yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| My wife worked an 18-hour workday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot. | |
| I worked a 21-hour workday. | ||
| Did anybody travel further? | ||
| To have them pulling shenanigans like this. | ||
| But, you know, what do we expect? | ||
| What do we expect? | ||
| We're in a war for humanity. | ||
| We're in a war for the future of the human species against criminals that want to basically turn us into cattle to be fed on and to be bled. | ||
| So here's how you take the bullshit and you turn it into an actionable item. | ||
| You have like, oh, we could have woken up so many more people and that's why now you have to go and spread shit around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| It's great. | ||
| It's like, oh, we missed this opportunity and we need to make up for it by you redoubling your promoting efforts of my own shit. | ||
| Gotta take this to IRL, my man. | ||
| It's pretty sweet. | ||
| I would suggest that if the globalists truly were afraid of any of this stuff. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Could have just had a server thing when he was on the show. | ||
| Or, you know how his phone lines keep fucking up all the time? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| They could have done that while he was on Coast to Coast, so he couldn't even be a guest? | ||
| Coast to Coast has a whole different system. | ||
| The government isn't ready for them yet. | ||
| But Alex's end has the sabotage possibilities. | ||
| Well, sure. | ||
| I mean, but the IT guy didn't tell him. | ||
| Where Alex was. | ||
| I can't remember if Alex did say, or he said he was going to chase down the person who was messing with his telephone. | ||
| That is a good point. | ||
| Look, the point is, that would have been the inflection point when the globalists would have interceded, right? | ||
| It's not the next day when people are going to work and telling people to go to Infowars. | ||
| It would have been... | ||
| Time zones. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
| Globalists only... | ||
| They don't work after six. | ||
| See, this is what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, I forgot. | ||
| West Coast time zone. | ||
| Pacific time zone. | ||
| Deep into the evening. | ||
| Deep into the evening. | ||
| Yeah, the globalists have a strict... | ||
| They have a good union. | ||
| They do not take their work home with them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So dumb. | ||
| So dumb. | ||
| But this happens every single time. | ||
| Anyway, this episode... | ||
| Who does control the internet? | ||
| What? | ||
| I mean, well, look at... | ||
| Bill Gates. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I understand that DARPA built the internet. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who does control it? | ||
| And can it be shut off? | ||
| Can we just... | ||
| Is there a place... | ||
| Because this is a problem that I'm having, because I don't know, and I feel stupid for asking, but I feel like there isn't as much physical infrastructure that constitutes the fundamental basis of the internet to the point where maybe there's like 50 guys who can fuck up the entire internet for the world, you know? | ||
| I think that there is a fair amount of physical... | ||
| But, at the same time, I do think that as you trace the line further and further up, there probably are not 50 people, but less than you'd imagine, that could make mistakes in certain ways that could cripple internet access. | ||
| Because, I mean, just think about it. | ||
| Something goes wrong, and your neighborhood has no service through whatever your provider is. | ||
| Xfinity shits down for the day because something went wrong. | ||
| Now, whoever's fixing that, imagine something goes wrong with them, and now it's like your entire zip code or whatever doesn't have access to the internet. | ||
| I feel like if you go up the chain, there has to be some large-scale thing that could go wrong, but I don't know what it is either. | ||
| I don't know enough. | ||
| It does feel a little bit like a customer service chain where if I have an X and I go up to this person, I'm like, okay. | ||
| How do I do more damage with just one axe? | ||
| And eventually I'll go up all the way to the top. | ||
| You think customer service is going to help you with that? | ||
| I'm not saying they're going to help me. | ||
| I'm just saying that if you go all the way up the chain, I feel like eventually you get to a place where two or three guys with two or three axes could take out the internet. | ||
| And I feel like that's an insane thought. | ||
| I think it's movie-ish the way you're imagining it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| Let's say you encounter a giant metal box that is the internet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How are you going to deal with that with an X? | ||
| What's your first play? | ||
| I feel like the medium is the answer there. | ||
| How am I going to deal with this with an X? | ||
| I'll show you. | ||
| I'll swing my X at it. | ||
| Okay, that does nothing. | ||
| Boy, I've run out of ideas. | ||
| No plan B with that X? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe there'll be a panel or something. | ||
| I'll use the sharp end of the X to... | ||
| Open the panel. | ||
| There's no panel. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm running out of ideas here quick, man. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Here's why I'm sure. | ||
| Now, here's what I wonder. | ||
| Are you imagining an old-time axe or a woodcutter axe? | ||
| Oh, a woodcutter axe. | ||
| Okay, see, now you're stupid. | ||
| Because there's a sharp end and a blunt end. | ||
| You could have tried hitting it with either side. | ||
| You had a plan B in your hands. | ||
| Did you think I was using a two-sided battle axe? | ||
| I thought maybe, because you only tried swinging once. | ||
| I thought you'd be like, oh, it's gonna be the same either side. | ||
| I didn't realize that I'm getting dungeon mastered right now. | ||
| Well, roll to see if there's a panel. | ||
| I've not played Baldur's Gate yet, but everybody talks so highly of it. | ||
| Gotta get started. | ||
| Not yet, because it's not on PlayStation until September. | ||
| Anyway, the rest of this show is not worth a damn. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that's Friday. | ||
| We jump back in on Monday the 15th. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And Alex has some thoughts about the Madrid bombing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| And so here's his thoughts there. | ||
| Socialist Al Spain's ruling party. | ||
| What really went on with these bombings last Thursday? | ||
| More has come out now. | ||
| It's got globalist fingerprints all over it. | ||
| We will detail this today, and Paul Joseph Watson is joining us as well with his great analysis. | ||
| Reuters reported that those big protests you saw weren't against the supposed terrorists, but were against the government, many of them saying the government was behind it. | ||
| Oh, people are starting to get it. | ||
| That then neutralizes the government terror card. | ||
| So we'll cover that article as well. | ||
| Very, very important. | ||
| Officials probe Spain. | ||
| Morocco bombings give you their spin. | ||
| Again, anti-government protests spring up across Spain as they accuse the government of being behind it and putting out propaganda. | ||
| We're so sorry for the 200 people that died there and the hundreds of others that were injured. | ||
| So Alex is trying to make this sound like the protests were about accusations that the bombings were a false flag and were attacking the government for being complicit in them. | ||
| But that's not the case. | ||
| There were protests against the government, which these articles discussed, but they were against the Aznar administration putting so much focus on blaming the ETA, the Basque separatist group, that had denied involvement in the bombing and there was no evidence that they had done it. | ||
| Blaming the Basque group was politically useful for the Aznar government in the lead-up to the elections. | ||
| And the people were able to see through that scapegoating. | ||
| It was not the leftist socialist party that was doing the scapegoating either. | ||
| Asnar was the head of the People's Party, which would be described as nationalistic and fairly center-right. | ||
| The public rejected the government's response to the bombings and voted in the center-left PSOE, also known as the Spanish Socialist Workers Party. | ||
| Alex has none of the details correct about this, but he sees some touch points that he can work with, like the word socialist and the idea that there were protesters opposing the government. | ||
| From there, he can craft his own story out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nuts, man. | ||
| This is, like, he's so wrong about this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I was, I mean, I get... | ||
| Sometimes I get really stuck on that card thing. | ||
| Playing the terrorism? | ||
| The terror card. | ||
| It's so emblematic of a point of view on how this shit is handled. | ||
| Like, oh, see, this is like a tête-à-tête between the government and I. They're playing their terror card and I'm playing my... | ||
| And let's put it very clearly. | ||
| It's the government and I. It's Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Specifically Alex. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it is like... | ||
| But that's... | ||
| Used less literally, I believe, in real world, you know, in like more metaphorically, more colloquially. | ||
| In real spaces, you know, like people in a debate or whatever, politicians might use that thing. | ||
| But it is still kind of like, once you start to view it in that sense, it dehumanizes everything about it. | ||
| And it derealizes everything. | ||
| It takes it out of the frame of reality. | ||
| Now everything's a fucking game. | ||
| You're turning it into something that is fundamentally silly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I also, I was thinking about this as he was talking, and that people are aware that the government... | ||
| The government did this and, you know, trying to make people scared and that neutralizes that terror card. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And so I was, like, teasing the thread out a little bit. | ||
| Like, let's imagine that everybody gets awake to Alex's shit. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And now everybody's like, oh, yeah, the government's doing this terrorism in order to make us scared. | ||
| And so now every time there's a terrorist attack, they're like, oh, this isn't real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a perfect scenario for a terrorist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They would never be blamed for terrorist acts. | ||
| It would almost be a perfect scenario. | ||
| Set up for right-wing terrorists to get away scot-free with any kind of act that they want to commit against groups that they don't like. | ||
| It's almost like their dream. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Strange how it seems like what they're doing now is almost in service of creating a world more like that. | ||
| Yeah, if you create a circumstance where everybody knee-jerk blames the government for any tragedies that happen, it kind of gives you the green light to be able to carry out tragedies politically, or not politically, literally, but to serve political purposes. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I mean, it's probably a coincidence. | ||
| I would say that it is... | ||
| I mean, maybe... | ||
| 50-50. | ||
| What's not 50-50 is Alex's feelings about theme parks. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I'm honestly, like... | ||
| We've talked enough about how Alex feels about movies, but I don't know how Alex feels about theme parks, and I genuinely feel like it could go in any direction right now. | ||
| We don't get enough talk about the theme park itself. | ||
| Alex does get caught up in the entrance to it. | ||
| This is the type of rug pull that only Alex can engineer. | ||
| Me being like, what's he gonna have to say about shit? | ||
| And then it's like, no, I couldn't even make it past the fucking door. | ||
| Well, he does go, and so there is some hope that in later episodes he'll revisit this. | ||
| But I would ask you, what theme park do you think he went to? | ||
| Okay, it is either, because we're in 2004. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Don't tell me that the Creation Museum is around. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is a big one. | ||
| Big one. | ||
| Universal Studios. | ||
| No. | ||
| I was going to say National Studios. | ||
| No. | ||
| Neither of those. | ||
| Universal Studios. | ||
| That's too big for us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nationalist Studios. | |
| We're National Studios. | ||
| If Alex has his way, none of this one world studio. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| No. | ||
| I got no idea. | ||
| No Disney? | ||
| Oh, I thought it would be too obvious to say Disney. | ||
| It's not Disney. | ||
| Well, see, that's what I didn't say, Disney! | ||
| What if I were to tell you it's really wet? | ||
| Six Flags. | ||
| No. | ||
| Great Adventure. | ||
| Great America? | ||
| Great America. | ||
| No. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| You went to SeaWorld. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Okay, is that a theme park? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I went to SeaWorld two weeks ago, and I had a lot of fun. | ||
| So I said, well, I'll go back. | ||
| This weekend, because I bought a season pass, and it's just an hour away. | ||
| I'm trying to take some time off, spend some time with my wife, because I work pretty hard. | ||
| Last time we just bought our season pass, this time we had to go get the card, and they wanted to biometrically scan my hand. | ||
| And so I pulled the video camera out. | ||
| We'll be posting that in the next few days. | ||
| I've got to have time to upload it to the web and write an article for it. | ||
| This morning I just wrote a little blurb and put a digital photo. | ||
| Up on the site, it's being updated right now as we speak, of the hand scanners to get into SeaWorld. | ||
| And this is a big story. | ||
| I'll talk about that, too, coming up in this hour. | ||
| There's a huge story. | ||
| Huge story. | ||
| I tried to find that video of him at SeaWorld, and I can't find it. | ||
| But I'm going to continue the hunt. | ||
| The hunt is on. | ||
| That one I would like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Alex only had this issue with the scanner because he bought a season pass. | ||
| All parks like SeaWorld use some kind of confirmation system to screen entrants with season passes because if they didn't, then you could just give it to anyone you wanted, and one person's season pass could turn into 100 missed ticket sales. | ||
| Or even worse, you could rent your pass to people, and if you played it right, you could make a pretty big profit at the park's expense. | ||
| At this point in 2004, the industry generally preferred some form of this biometric identification because photo IDs were inconsistent, and they took longer to check on entry. | ||
| So if you're just trying to funnel people through, it was seen as inefficient for the IDs, but within just a few years, SeaWorld would abandon this hand-scan system in favor of returning to photo IDs, because it's just a hassle. | ||
| None of this Alex should have surprised Alex because when he signed up for the season pass, he would have agreed to it. | ||
| Maybe it's in the fine print or something, but I don't know. | ||
| It almost seems like Alex decided to do this in order to have something to get mad about and to give him a quick launch-off point to get into a rant about how oppressed he is and how tyranny's around every corner. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like that they started with the biometrics and then you were just like, fuck this, and went back to the... | ||
| Can you imagine how fucking funny it would be if the Mark of the Beast just petered out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, hey, man, we got this Mark of the Beast. | ||
| They just won't use it, man. | ||
| I'm sorry, Antichrist. | ||
| I imagine it's not even. | ||
| They won't use it. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| This just costs a lot. | ||
| Upkeep is tough. | ||
| I mean, there's more efficient ways of doing it. | ||
| Sorry, Antichrist. | ||
| I mean, what if one of your readers stops working or something? | ||
| Then where are you? | ||
| What if the Antichrist is a lot like Threads? | ||
| Like a big influx at the very beginning and then it all goes away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is the beast other than a mastodon? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That was another one. | ||
| That's blue sky thinking, my friend. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Friendster. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I should have tagged it with the friendster. | ||
| But I couldn't work it into a sentence. | ||
| Nope, nope. | ||
| So, Alex, what's SeaWorld? | ||
| And so that means it's time for a long-winded story about getting to the gate. | ||
| Not this weekend, but last weekend. | ||
| I'm making myself take off. | ||
| I'm making myself take off to go fishing for a few hours. | ||
| I'm making myself take off to go lift weights. | ||
| I'm making myself take off a few hours a week to take my wife out to dinner or to go for a walk with her a few times a week. | ||
| Is this our business? | ||
| I feel it's not. | ||
| Because literally for a decade I haven't stopped and it's not good for me. | ||
| I found when I do take occasional breaks, my mind works better, so I've been doing that in the fight against the New World Order. | ||
| I am far beyond driven. | ||
| But last weekend, now two weeks ago, or a week and a half ago, I went down to SeaWorld, and it was $38 for a day pass, $48 for an entire season pass. | ||
| So for six months, their half-year season... | ||
| In San Antonio, I guess it's open year-round in Orlando, but it's only open half a year here in Texas because it's too cold for half the year. | ||
| I bought a season pass. | ||
| It was only like $10 more. | ||
| So many details. | ||
| And they give you the little paper printout with a scan on it, and we walked through, and I was supposed to go and roll. | ||
| They let you into the park when you first buy it. | ||
| They go, now you go and roll over there, sir. | ||
| And there was a big line at the, quote, passport office. | ||
| It's called the passport office. | ||
| And my wife and I said, eh, I don't want to do that, but we'll do it next time. | ||
| Let's just go, you know, see the park and, you know, see Shamu, because Shamu, they were about to have the whole Kill the Whale display at that time. | ||
| It only happens a few times a day, so we ran to see that under the big dome. | ||
| Well, I got up this Saturday morning at about... | ||
| We're on a different day now? | ||
| 7.38 in the morning, and I've been up on another syndicated show until about 2 in the morning, so I was pretty tired. | ||
| I said, you know what, let's just today, let's go back to San Antonio. | ||
| It's only an hour away. | ||
| I said, I want to go relax again. | ||
| We only got to see, last Saturday, half the exhibits, and I want to go see the rest of it. | ||
| And she said, you want to go again? | ||
| And I said, well, yeah, I mean... | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| You had fun, didn't you? | ||
| And she said, yeah. | ||
| I feel like they're torturing those whales. | ||
| But I said, yeah, you know, but at least this teaches people about the environment, I guess. | ||
| And I'm like, boy, I'm sounding like a socialist, I said. | ||
| And I'm making excuses. | ||
| I said, let's just go have a good time. | ||
| She said, okay, I'll go. | ||
| How long is this haircut going to last? | ||
| Damn it, let me see the fish. | ||
| So I'm curious about what in that conversation is him sounding like a socialist. | ||
| I mean, I want to say, I think it's basic empathy for whether or not animals exist. | ||
| Incorrect. | ||
| What? | ||
| Because that's what his wife said. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's what his wife said. | ||
| So he was rejecting it. | ||
| He said, at least we get to learn a little bit about ocean life or whatever. | ||
| That's what makes him feel like he's a socialist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Denying. | ||
| And sort of making excuses for the abuse of animals in favor of, I guess we can learn about oceans. | ||
| I guess we can learn about oceans. | ||
| So learning about oceans is socialist. | ||
| That is a very socialist thing to do. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The more you learn about oceans... | ||
| And this is actually true, and I know this is going to be tough to believe. | ||
| The more you learn about oceans, the more likely you are to realize that the Earth is being changed by human actions, and then that'll lead you to desire a movement on things like fossil fuels and the like. | ||
| So, learning about oceans, 100% a socialist thing to do. | ||
| And... | ||
| Let's not forget that crabs work in co-ops. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| And... | ||
| What else? | ||
| Schools of fish. | ||
| Those aren't private schools of fish. | ||
| Those are not private schools of fish. | ||
| Those are public schools. | ||
| They teach abortion. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Period. | ||
| It's indoctrination at the schools of fish. | ||
| So yeah, this story is a little bit like he's killing time. | ||
| That is an absurdly long story. | ||
| I genuinely feel like that is a story deserving of sitting there and actually to a person's face just being like, please stop. | ||
| Oh, guess what? | ||
| Move on to the next thing. | ||
| He is going to. | ||
| It's not done. | ||
| This story ain't done. | ||
| We went and had breakfast and drove down, and I'm trying to escape the New World Order for a few hours, trying to spend some time with my wife. | ||
| And I get there to the facility. | ||
| I gotta pause it already. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Because I'm just now imagining him going to SeaWorld with the globalists in hot pursuit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's trying to escape the New World Order. | ||
| Once we get to SeaWorld, they can't follow us! | ||
| You're right, it's international waters! | ||
| We gotta get in there! | ||
| Shamus in international waters! | ||
| You don't fuck with a killer whale. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, also important to remember, as Alex tells this story, he and his wife made the active decision to not do what they were supposed to do, which was go to that passport office in order to deal with their season pass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Whatever is happening at the second time they go is a result of their own decision to not follow the rules. | ||
| And I pull up and pay for my parking and drive up, and it's a nice cool morning, and I walk up to the turnstiles with my pass, and they say, you bought this last week. | ||
| They scanned it under a scanner. | ||
| They said, you bought this last week. | ||
| And I said, yeah. | ||
| They said, well, you were supposed to go to the passport office. | ||
| They had one outside the park and one inside the park. | ||
| She said, you're going to have to go over there to the passport office. | ||
| And so I went in, stood in line for about ten minutes, and went in, and there were all these banks of cameras. | ||
| It looked like a driver's license facility, you know, a DMV, at your state police office where you get your driver's license or ID. | ||
| And I walk up, and I stand there, and I go, well, you ready to take my picture? | ||
| They go, no, sir, we don't do that anymore. | ||
| I said, oh, okay, well, that's good. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And, you know, showed them my paper card. | ||
| They gave us our two cards, our two plastic cards, and I went back to the turnstile. | ||
| And the lady goes, okay, great. | ||
| And she just takes a plastic cover, because it was misting, a little bit rainy. | ||
| She takes a plastic cover off of a biometric hand scanner. | ||
| I even know the model of it, developed by the Defense Department. | ||
| And I look at it and I say, excuse me? | ||
| She said, yes, everyone who has a park pass has to scan. | ||
| And I said, well, I'm not going to scan. | ||
| And she said, why? | ||
| And I said, well, because it's part of the military-industrial complex. | ||
| Well, I'm not going to scan. | ||
| The banks, the public schools, the school buses, city buses are now, they're going to make us scan, face scan, thumb scan, hand scan, or voice print. | ||
| Start our car, to get groceries, to do anything. | ||
| It's part of a Cashless Society tracking grid to get rid of cash. | ||
| And she said, wow, I'm glad you're telling me this. | ||
| This is scary. | ||
| And she was nodding her head. | ||
| And I saw several security guards nodding their head. | ||
| And some guy walking along said, yeah, you're a dictatorship. | ||
| So everybody's having this awakening. | ||
| I remember working in the service. | ||
| Field, and I think I probably would have responded the same. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, thanks for telling me that. | ||
| That's really good to know. | ||
| That's very interesting. | ||
| The line for your thing is in the passport line. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| That's where you want to go. | ||
| Yeah, wow. | ||
| You really know a lot. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Put your thumb on the thing. | ||
| I do believe that she might have said that, because, again... | ||
| You clearly can tell if Alex is, like, if he's accurately describing the way he acted, then you work in service for, you know, a good six months and you know how to get the lay of the land. | ||
| Indeed! | ||
| You can sense that, like, okay, if I push back in any way, this is gonna get worse. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I'm going to treat you like a baby! | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's very clearly, like, okay, if I'm walking through the jungle... | ||
| I know that there is a pit of spikes covered with a thin veil of leaves right over there. | ||
| I know it. | ||
| And that pile of spikes is Alex Jones. | ||
| I might have even talked about this on the podcast way back, but when I worked at the movie theater back in Missouri, there was this one guy that I could always... | ||
| He was very memorable. | ||
| Just a total asshole. | ||
| Nobody liked dealing with him because he was a prick. | ||
| And he had an order that I remembered. | ||
| And so, like, basically what I would do is I'd see him up at the ticket booth, and I'd start getting his order ready, and he started to, like, treat me well. | ||
| He wouldn't go to other people's lines, so he wasn't treating them like assholes, and he would start being nice to me, and I'm not, like, gonna become friends with you necessarily, but hey, we've diffused this situation by me just going out of my way to do this because I know you're an asshole. | ||
| And people in service industry, like, stuff, Obviously that strategy is the loser strategy for me. | ||
| You know, like, that's bad. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you placate assholes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that's, I mean, unfortunately the job is eating shit. | ||
| No, it is the number one most frustrating aspect of our world is that instinctively we know that we should reward good behavior and yet in practicality we see... | ||
| Pretty much all the time, people who perform the worst, we all just get out of the way because it's easier than fucking confronting this bullshit. | ||
| And this is one of the reasons why it's super important when you're not a piece of shit to treat people in service capacities and industries well. | ||
| Pay it forward for the fact that they have to deal with assholes and they'll get fired if they fight with them. | ||
| That sounds like what Alex is. | ||
| That's what it evokes for me. | ||
| Yeah, it was, uh, I think I, it wasn't until I was, like, seven years into doing hearing aids where I, like, for the first time, somebody came in and they were just a real dick to me. | ||
| And I was like, okay, you can go now. | ||
| You know, like, just no, no anything, no, no sales, no nothing. | ||
| Just, like, you have now ended this interaction. | ||
| And they're... | ||
| Mine was blown, just like, no, you can't do that. | ||
| And I was like, I can't be fired for this. | ||
| I can't get in trouble for this. | ||
| You're a piece of shit, and I get to say it to your face, so please leave now, you piece of shit. | ||
| And it was amazing. | ||
| It was one of the great feelings that I've ever had in a service industry. | ||
| I'm not sure that I've ever gotten that... | ||
| I mean, I got to kick people out of the theater a bunch, but that was just because they were like... | ||
| That's not fun, you know? | ||
| Everybody feels bad, because you kind of want to be the one misbehaving. | ||
| Also, there was one guy, when I worked at a theater here in Chicago, there was a guy jacking off in one of the theaters, and we had to chase him. | ||
| Definitely not fun. | ||
| Did not catch him. | ||
| He's quick. | ||
| One hand. | ||
| I think it was in the film Megamind. | ||
| Megamind! | ||
| Well, big heads will do it for a lot of people. | ||
| Pretty funny movie. | ||
| Especially when somebody's jerking it. | ||
| No, that takes away from Will Ferrell's performance. | ||
| Anyway, Alex talks a little bit more about his experience at the entrance to SeaWorld. | ||
| Are we still at the entrance? | ||
| We don't get past it. | ||
| We don't get past it. | ||
| I saw several security guards nodding their head, and some guy walking along said, yeah, it's a dictatorship. | ||
| So everybody's having this awakening. | ||
| She said, yeah, a lot of people don't like it. | ||
| You can go on through. | ||
| And the security was nodding. | ||
| I mean, obviously, that's not the rule, but so many people are refusing. | ||
| They just nodded, and I had security guards smiling at me. | ||
| Five years ago, they had run up and said, what's your problem? | ||
| I mean, we've got video and stuff like this. | ||
| They were all nodding and looked very concerned. | ||
| In their guts, they know. | ||
| We're all joining together, refusing this. | ||
| And then somebody behind me comes through and refuses. | ||
| And my wife goes, you know, we had a video camera, but we didn't expect all this to happen. | ||
| It's just like the driver's license facility. | ||
| Nobody talks about it. | ||
| When I bought the season pass, they didn't say you biometrically scanned. | ||
| When I went into the passport office to get the card, they didn't say you biometrically scanned. | ||
| It's when you get to the turnstiles with the big line behind you, with the pressure to submit and just go through the cattle chutes, that it happens. | ||
| It's all crafted by government psychologists that study all this, and this is all admitted. | ||
| It's admitted. | ||
| The government psychologists have formulated the best way to fuck with people at SeaWorld. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here's what I can see about the nodding. | ||
| Alright, so if I'm taking... | ||
| They're nodding at each other to keep an eye on this guy. | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| Everybody turns and nods and they're like, yes, we know we've got an eye on this one. | ||
| We know you're over there keeping an eye on the entrance to that. | ||
| No, the nods are coordination. | ||
| 100% a silent language. | ||
| And they didn't let him through because so many people are refusing. | ||
| They let him through because he's a pain in the ass. | ||
| Yeah, it literally might as well have been enough people just being like, listen, it's just SeaWorld. | ||
| Go on in, man. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| So I'm fairly certain that they didn't just spring this scanning thing on Alex out of nowhere. | ||
| I would bet everything I own that he just didn't read the agreement for the season pass. | ||
| And instead of admitting that, he's just making it SeaWorld's fault and turning it into some big deal. | ||
| Oh, I didn't realize I had to do this. | ||
| I should have bought a day pass. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I could have bought a day pass or... | ||
| It's actually a gigantic government conspiracy to steal my biometric information at SeaWorld. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, I mean, like, what a glowing endorsement for SeaWorld. | ||
| Alex Jones, one of the most difficult-to-impress people in the world, went two weekends in a row. | ||
| So I want to bring up a little parallel here that actually Alex evoked himself, which is the connection between this situation and the one that he had at the DMV. | ||
| Famously, in one of his dumb documentaries, Alex goes to the DMV and gets really mad at how they want him to thumb scan to get his fingerprint on file, which leads to a crowd gathering and Alex getting to play the role of a bold revolutionary. | ||
| That story and this one at SeaWorld are interesting because Alex thinks that they illustrate one thing, but they actually send the exact opposite message than he thinks. | ||
| Alex is acting like these are stories that prove that tyranny is everywhere, and you just have to resist it. | ||
| But in the real world... | ||
| These are just stories about Alex being an asshole and annoying people. | ||
| This SeaWorld adventure ends with him complaining at the unfortunate person working the counter about how the government is trying to control him through his SeaWorld pass, and he's such a pain in the ass that they just say whatever and let him through. | ||
| If this were tyranny and some grand plan to track and trace everyone, that would not happen. | ||
| This is a profit protection mechanism, so this person can cut bait on the hand scan thing because the couple of bucks they might lose on Alex isn't going to be worth the hassle he's clearly presenting. | ||
| It's like when you work in some retail environment. | ||
| Often you have the ability to add a discount or a coupon at checkout because you can diffuse tense situations with clear assholes that way. | ||
| When I worked at JCPenney, we had a button we could press that would just be like 10% off or whatever to be like, all right, here, let me, so sorry for your trouble. | ||
| It's built into the actual price that the rest of us pay. | ||
| That there will be a discount for assholes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plus, this SeaWorld employee probably recognized that no matter what, Alex was just gonna find himself back at that passport office the next time he tried to come to the park, so who gives a shit? | ||
| Just let him through today and save yourself the trouble. | ||
| As for the DMV story, we know from listening to the show that there's an unfilmed epilogue to that story. | ||
| After Alex made a huge scene and played the role of the hero for the cameras, he left and came back to the DMV. | ||
| When he returned, he did the thumb scan without causing a scene because he needed his driver's license. | ||
| He knew that wasn't tyranny, he just recognized that the optics were right for him to exploit, so he did, and then he slunk back to submit to the scan when people weren't watching so he could get his license. | ||
| If he truly believed this was tyranny, he wouldn't have gone back. | ||
| If this was a principal question, he would have refused and not gotten his license, risking being arrested or getting a ticket if he was pulled over. | ||
| If he got arrested, that would just give him the perfect opportunity to bring this horrible tyranny of thumb scans in front of a court where he might be able to get some change moving and actually be an activist. | ||
| He didn't do those things because he doesn't believe that thumb scanning for a driver's license is actually tyranny. | ||
| It's just useful for him to pretend. | ||
| He doesn't think the government is trying to track him through SeaWorld tickets, but the optics are there for him to take advantage of. | ||
| Both of these cases are just Alex being an asshole and ruining the days of people who are unlucky enough to work somewhere he shows up. | ||
| In a very real sense, Alex is the victim of his own designs. | ||
| He desperately is seeking for the appearance of oppression everywhere he goes, starving for anything that can validate his worldview. | ||
| He's not really the victim here, though, since he makes a ton of money off it. | ||
| The real victims are the people who are just living their lives and going to work who get cast in Alex's little plays. | ||
| They have no choice in the matter. | ||
| They'll often be portrayed as idiots or villains, and they get no residuals. | ||
| So it's kind of a bummer, but... | ||
| You know, just basically, if you see Alex, go to the other side of the street. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go away. | |
| Just avoid. | ||
| There's no reason. | ||
| That's what everyone should have done. | ||
| Just been like, I get what you're doing. | ||
| I'm going to go over there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Do you know what's fascinating? | ||
| There's a, and I know it's a weird time to bring this up, but there's an anime called The Vinland Saga. | ||
| All right? | ||
| And it's... | ||
| Classic Viking story kind of thing, right? | ||
| It's not about that whistleblower and the Trump impeachment? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| So it's a classic Viking story, but it is told from a radically pacifist point of view, right? | ||
| So over two seasons, like in the first season, it's all the cool Viking stuff where it's like, ah, going to war and killing people's fine. | ||
| And then in the second season, it's like, oh, maybe just killing people is a bad idea. | ||
| And then it comes down to it, and it's like, fight or die. | ||
| And the guy's like, no, I'm just going to keep running. | ||
| I'm going to run away forever. | ||
| I don't care about this dirt that I stand on. | ||
| You guys want some shit? | ||
| Fine, man. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm leaving. | ||
| I'm just leaving. | ||
| I don't want to do that. | ||
| I don't want to fight anybody. | ||
| I want to play your game. | ||
| I don't know you. | ||
| Leave me alone! | ||
| And it is such a perfect distillation of like, yeah. | ||
| Leave me the fuck. | ||
| I'm just going. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Yeah, you know, it makes me think of Alex's whole, like, you can be with me or you're submitting to the globalists. | ||
| I'm not playing. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I understand you have this dichotomy, and I just, I refuse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it is just, like, so much, like, that is what I think now whenever I view Alex or that ilk of just, like, no, run away. | ||
| Like, be very, Be very strong and brave and just run away and never think about this again. | ||
| Yeah, and it's not because you're, like, afraid of them or anything. | ||
| It's just, this isn't worth it. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody, here's what I'm afraid of. | ||
| I'm afraid of asking myself the question, what are we doing? | ||
| And then the answer being, fighting over dirt. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's that I managed to say this to one person once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It felt good and then immediately felt terrible. | ||
| But they were like, I'll see you later. | ||
| And I said, the response, not if I see you first. | ||
| It's a great little one, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It is fun. | ||
| But then it felt terrible. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| But I meant it. | ||
| I didn't like this person. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But yeah, that's how everyone should treat people like Alex. | ||
| If you see them first, they should never see you. | ||
| They should wander this earth and be like... | ||
| Where did everyone go? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Turn it into an episode of the Twilight Zone. | ||
| If it is possible. | ||
| Biodome or Twilight Zone. | ||
| Imagine if the entirety of the human race just decided that Alex Jones lived in 28 Days Later, and wherever he was, there was like a 600-foot radius of everybody just moving around him like a bubble. | ||
| No. | ||
| That'd be terrible. | ||
| Because then, if someone wasn't in on it... | ||
| Alex would try and eat them. | ||
| He would totally eat them. | ||
| We would have to feed Alex a person every week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's no good. | ||
| Like Betty White and Lake Placid putting a cow over the giant alligator. | ||
| So, Alex gets off the topic of... | ||
| SeaWorld complaints. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Naturally. | |
| And we get back to the issue of Coast to Coast. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So Alex was on Coast to Coast, and obviously he's a big star now. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And what happens to big stars? | ||
| Johnny Carson. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Somebody on C-SPAN talks about them. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So... | ||
| Eh. | ||
| Hello? | ||
| So on Washington Journal on C-SPAN... | ||
| One of the interviews that they did, I think it was like the day after Alex was on Coast to Coast, was with a guy who wrote a book about conspiracy. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And so Alex is, I guess, feeling like this is in response to his appearance on Coast to Coast. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like this is damage control for the globalists on C-SPAN. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| On Washington Journal. | ||
| It's not, it's not, God, how funny would it be if it was Ronson? | ||
| It would be funny, but then Alex's response would be different. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, we would know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went and looked it up, and I found the... | ||
| The C-SPAN interview. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| You know, like, obviously, if you're interviewing somebody who's talking about conspiracy, Alex is gonna come up, probably. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And even in 2004, he was pretty prevalent among 9-11 conspiracy shit. | ||
| And so, Alex is like, I was on C-SPAN, or I was on Coast to Coast, and then... | ||
| They're so scared. | ||
| Much like the servers going down, they're so scared. | ||
| And so this ends up happening, and oh man, oh man. | ||
| Now, to be totally serious here, last Friday morning, after I'd been on Coast to Coast AM, Brian Lamb, the founder of C-SPAN, the head of it, went on his show, Washington Journal. | ||
| And I've probably got 20 tapes on the shelf of him talking about me when callers call in. | ||
| He knows who I am. | ||
| He kind of sneakily attacks me routinely. | ||
| I'm calling him up. | ||
| I want to go on a show. | ||
| I'll be nice to the guy. | ||
| He can come on this show. | ||
| In fact, we got the numbers posted on the site and a little article about it and also the video from C-SPAN. | ||
| You can watch it. | ||
| I hope you'll call him and tell him to have me on. | ||
| I still haven't had time to get around doing that. | ||
| Look, I'm on C-SPAN. | ||
| I'm not interested in attention. | ||
| Polar opposite of Alex's desperate look-at-me shit. | ||
| He's on C-SPAN. | ||
| You talk to people who write books and then speak very calmly. | ||
| I could be underneath a rock for as much as you would know. | ||
| The bastion of publicity stunts, C-SPAN. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Ryan Land came on and said, yeah, I heard Alex Jones on Coast to Coast AM last night. | ||
| Had this really shifty-eyed professor on going, nah, conspiracy theories. | ||
| Mr. Jones is very, oh. | ||
| And for an hour, they sat there talking about me with callers calling him. | ||
| And so we decided to have him on air with us. | ||
| So let's go ahead. | ||
| And bring Mr. Lamb's boss, because that morning they were busy doing damage control, and it's good to have you on. | ||
| Is it Mr. Chaos? | ||
| Mr. Chaos, are you there? | ||
| Excuse me, sir, you're on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You're on, sir. | ||
| Oh, oh, yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Boo! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I knew we were in trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because, you know, it's not out of Alex's normal genre to complain about people talking about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Making a big deal out of it. | ||
| I thought this is completely normal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then... | ||
| As soon as he was like, we have Brian Lamb's boss, I'm like, oh no, bad comedy bit. | ||
| No, you saw me look at you with daggers in my eyes. | ||
| Before it came out, I was like, fuck, here it comes. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, we are in treacherous waters. | ||
| It is fun. | ||
| The knowledge that a joke is coming is like now the hair on my arms. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Something's wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can sense something terrible coming in the future. | |
| Lord, take me back to SeaWorld. | ||
| Not a bit! | ||
| Oh, God, a bit is coming! | ||
| Someone! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Someone help me! | |
| Tell me more about the gate at SeaWorld, please. | ||
| Please, anything but a bit. | ||
| You said you paid for parking. | ||
| Tell me more about that. | ||
| How much did it... | ||
| How much was that worth ten years ago? | ||
| Are you mad you have a license plate? | ||
| So yeah, important things to realize. | ||
| This is clearly planned in advance. | ||
| This is somebody who has got a sound effect for himself. | ||
| This is not just Alex doing both voices. | ||
| Oh god, no. | ||
| I thought it was pre-recorded. | ||
| There is another guy doing this bit. | ||
| It's Paul F. Tompkins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't remember. | ||
| Early work. | ||
| Dave Van Cleese, I believe is his name. | ||
| He's married to Captain Joyce Riley, who hosts The Power Hour, which is another show on GCN. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So they're just... | ||
| It's that kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Local access fund. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'll say, I don't know if I've ever seen much of Alex trying to do two-man acts. | ||
| I'm trying to do some comedy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And here are a couple of names of the next clips, because this is good satire. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And bit wraps up strong. | ||
| I'll let you be the judge of that. | ||
| Of which is which? | ||
| No, if any of that is accurate. | ||
| Hello, Mr. Jones. | ||
| Hello, Mr. Chaos. | ||
| Yes, I want to tell you that I've had to double my usage of Maalox over the weekend, and I'm going to say something I usually don't say. | ||
| It's a word that was purged from my vocabulary some years ago, and I'm going to say... | ||
| Mr. Jones, would you... | ||
| Would you... | ||
| Please... | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Chaos. | ||
| Lord Rothschild, I can't do that. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Well, you know, you're giving me headaches. | ||
| You're giving a lot of us fits over here because you simply keep on doing what you're doing. | ||
| You won't just stop. | ||
| You won't go along to get along. | ||
| You know, you've made things very difficult for us, and we certainly don't appreciate it. | ||
| Where's my mailox? | ||
| Can you get me my mailox? | ||
| Well, your lordship, maybe that'll make you happier if I call you Dark Lord. | ||
| Your friend Francois Mineron had at the Louvre that 71-foot pyramid built with 666 pieces of glass. | ||
| Why did you do that publicly if you guys aren't in the vehicle? | ||
| You obviously have been talking about these issues on your radio for some time. | ||
| So many of the people in this world don't understand. | ||
| We like it that way. | ||
| We call them the, what's the word we call? | ||
| The profane, you see. | ||
| Profane has nothing to do with obscenity. | ||
| It has to do with the people that are ignorant. | ||
| People that are, well, as we call, profane. | ||
| Where's the punchline? | ||
| The punchline is Maalox. | ||
| Yeah, apparently that's what we're hanging our hat on. | ||
| Alex, you have given me heartburn. | ||
| Alex, sometimes I am unhappy. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Yeah, so apparently it's a Rothschild thing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I mean, Alex just injected that, and now it's the reality of the scene, so you gotta go with it. | ||
| Well, I mean, it would be the reality of a scene if you had a competent scene partner. | ||
| I mean, look, I don't know who should be mad at the other, but both, maybe. | ||
| I mean, I don't think anybody should have done this. | ||
| Maalox! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| At least, you know, but at least that guy's given it something. | ||
| Alex is terrible at this. | ||
| Truly terrible. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| He brought up Francois Mitterrand. | ||
| I mean, really terrible at this. | ||
| Truly terrible. | ||
| That's what you've got to bring out? | ||
| Like, what about this very specific thing that I referenced that's not real from five years ago? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Well, it all connects. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| Wait till they get to the third beat. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Wait till they get to the song. | ||
| Wait till they get to one beat. | ||
| There were no beats. | ||
| There were no beats. | ||
| There's no joke. | ||
| I respect the idea that not being able to say please, I respect that. | ||
| Are you going to respect it when he does it two more times? | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
| Okay, well... | ||
| You get one. | ||
| You get one. | ||
| And that's even... | ||
| But that's weak. | ||
| That's just setup. | ||
| You know, that's setup. | ||
| You do the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's maybe characterization. | |
| Yeah, I can see that a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're fleshing out who this person is. | ||
| But once you hit the please, you deliver a punch immediately after that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should. | |
| Otherwise, you've lost me. | ||
| I think the punch is just that it's happening. | ||
| You know, I think... | ||
| That's not enough. | ||
| That's not enough of a punch. | ||
| That wasn't the argument I was making. | ||
| I'm just saying that I think that they think it's funny just that there's a sound effect. | ||
| I do think that that's something that is happening a lot with that humor is that it's like they know what it sounds like. | ||
| You know, they've got like the rhythm of it. | ||
| It's like I get where you're coming from. | ||
| Isn't it funny that Alex Jones, the king of fighting the globalists, is spending this time on his broadcast to do a weird character bit that means nothing? | ||
| Isn't that funny on its own? | ||
| I think that the audience that Alex caters to probably does think that that's funny in and of itself. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I mean, I wish I didn't believe you, but I kind of do. | ||
| I wish I couldn't believe you, but I think it's obvious that you're right. | ||
| Man, it's... | ||
| The word ambitious almost came out of my mouth. | ||
| I really, I really, I was almost, honestly, I was about, I had a correction in my back pocket that I was ready to bring out. | ||
| You know it's brave to try new things. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Ill-advised. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is ill-advised to put somebody into a space where they should not be. | ||
| It is ill-advised to put a bird underneath a submarine. | ||
| These are bad places to put things. | ||
| There are lanes that you should stick in. | ||
| Stick in your lane. | ||
| I know myself well enough to know that I can't sing. | ||
| So you're not going to hear me sing on this podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Except for, you know, karaoke. | ||
| And if I write a parody of The Devil Went Down to Georgia, maybe I sing on this podcast. | ||
| You sing quite a bit, actually. | ||
| I think I have betrayed my own premise. | ||
| Basically, Alex should just rant over music. | ||
| There's no reason for him to do comedy bits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've distilled what he's good at down to its most elemental part. | |
| And what he's bad at. | ||
| This is a distillation of what he's bad at. | ||
| He's not funny. | ||
| He's not good with a partner. | ||
| He has no chemistry with anybody. | ||
| It's just bad top to bottom. | ||
| This is like that Dunning-Kruger effect so much. | ||
| These are all of the things that he cannot do. | ||
| Like, he is actively bad at them, but he does not realize that he... | ||
| Like, he doesn't have the capacity to understand why he's bad at them. | ||
| But how did you like that laughing you could hear in the background? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, here comes some more. | ||
| The people that are uninitiated, uninformed. | ||
| And so when we put this information or these symbols before their eyes, they simply don't see it. | ||
| It's called hiding something in plain sight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But thanks to you, you're explaining all this... | |
| Trust your audience! | ||
| ...symbology to these people out there, and they're starting to become aware of it! | ||
| And we don't appreciate... | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Now, your lordship. | ||
| You sound like you're in a keep or a tomb of some type. | ||
| I'm gonna pause it right there. | ||
| Why is it bad for the bad guy for symbols to be understood? | ||
| I don't understand why that's a problem. | ||
| If they're just, like, putting all this hiding in plain view, you know, like that pyramids and music videos and stuff, like, why is it, why does it make any difference if people... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's not magic. | ||
| Unless you do believe that it's magic. | ||
| See, that's the thing. | ||
| Anyway, back to the bit. | ||
| Are you at a skull and bones compound somewhere, sir? | ||
| Just stop that. | ||
| Stop that. | ||
| I don't appreciate that. | ||
| Dead end? | ||
| Let me ask you a question, your lordship. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But no. 911 days after 9-11 on 3-11, a double 11 entendre there. | ||
| We have this bombing, this horrible bombing, and I know now they're talking about martial law globally. | ||
| So, no, here's the problem. | ||
| Double 11 entendre could be funny. | ||
| It could. | ||
| But it wasn't. | ||
| No. | ||
| Alex wasn't saying that as something funny. | ||
| He was grasping at straws trying to find a way to describe these 11s. | ||
| Yeah, he sucked the funny out of it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's an amazing thing. | ||
| He's a funny vacuum. | ||
| Put the emphasis on unusual syllables, and you say things slightly differently. | ||
| It is almost always very funny, and somehow he did it wrong! | ||
| Yeah, he's a black hole of funny. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| A giant crackdown on freedom. | ||
| Can you explain to us the numerology there, please? | ||
| Dead end. | ||
| Dead end. | ||
| Well, I tell you, you guys responded pretty quick. | ||
| I mean, I have a national TV show with an hour of myself going off the air, opening the show with my name. | ||
| And putting websites up on the air and telling everyone, you know, how we're, you know, are we dangerous? | ||
| Should this be allowed? | ||
| Mr. Lamb said... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh, I mean, should this be allowed, what I'm doing? | |
| Well, Brian is a good man. | ||
| You can't both do the same voice? | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| What is happening now? | ||
| Well, you people should listen to him. | ||
| Don't you interrupt me! | ||
| How dare you interrupt me! | ||
| I'm gonna interrupt you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen to me, you punk. | |
| You control freak. | ||
| Let me tell you something, you lord. | ||
| You're not actually in the... | ||
| Let me tell you something, Lord Rothschild. | ||
| Let me tell you something right now. | ||
| This is a bit, remember? | ||
| We're going to talk about whatever we want here. | ||
| This is America and we're free and we're not your pauper serfs, your slaves. | ||
| So... | ||
| Until they started interrupting each other, I thought there was a chance that it was Alex doing both parts. | ||
| I did too. | ||
| I thought he was doing like a bad Phil Hendry. | ||
| Possibly. | ||
| Yeah, I could see it. | ||
| Because, you know, you could just press a button and have that sound or whatever. | ||
| And when he started doing the same voice, it made me think he was slipping and like fucking it up, but he wasn't. | ||
| This is strange. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| Ambitious. | ||
| I will say that the bit wrapped up really well. | ||
| It's not done. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You ready to see the landing? | ||
| Here's, like, one, don't comment on things that you are in control of in your... | ||
| False reality. | ||
| How do you mean? | ||
| I mean, like, if you're... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You can't be like, oh... | ||
| No, I mean, in this case. | ||
| No, I mean, like, you can't be like, oh, you sound weird coming through. | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| Yeah, he's in the star chamber. | ||
| That's the bit. | ||
| Yeah, you can't... | ||
| That is the bit. | ||
| You cannot wrench... | ||
| You can't comment on that. | ||
| You did that on purpose. | ||
| Commenting on that makes you stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, there's so many of those little, tiny... | ||
| Everything about this is just bad comedy. | ||
| Like, it is like... | ||
| He's like a comedy vacuum. | ||
| It is like every little thing that someone could do wrong to unfunny something, he does. | ||
| But in some ways, kind of funny. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| I don't even find it amusing to listen to it fail. | ||
| Well, I mean, I think you gotta, you know, see the totality of a bit before you really judge it. | ||
| Like, oftentimes... | ||
| Punchlines come at the end, right? | ||
| You're selling me so good. | ||
| Yeah, so here, this is actually our last clip, and it is the last clip of this bit. | ||
| And this is the clip that is titled, Bit Wraps Up Strong. | ||
| Anything else you'd like to say, Your Lord? | ||
| No, I've had quite enough. | ||
| And besides, my servant here has found my mailbox and also a couple of double, a double shot of Prozac to calm me down. | ||
| Now, Mr. Jones, you're going to have to stop the shenanigans. | ||
| Stop broadcasting. | ||
| Just stop doing what you're doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because if you don't, well, well, where's my mailbox? | |
| Well, Your Lordship, there's millions of people speaking out. | ||
| I mean, how do you get us when there's millions of us? | ||
| Real quick, he said that the guy found his Maalox, and then now he's screaming, where's my Maalox? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's committed to that as, like, that's the funny word. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know, like, that's how sometimes people will throw in a funny word. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And that's Maalox. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Now learning the truth. | ||
| I mean, earlier I talked about how they put biometric scanners in at SeaWorld, and... | ||
| I explained it to them, and the security guards were nodding their head, looking concerned, looking scared. | ||
| They were all nodding and agreeing, saying, thank you for telling us about this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love the sea world. | |
| Everybody seems to be waking up. | ||
| I've been on thousands of radio shows, and every caller agrees. | ||
| I mean, what are you going to do about this mass awakening that's happening right now? | ||
| Why is he still on the phone? | ||
| The only thing that we can do is continue on the path that we've decided to take. | ||
| Now, we've already committed to it. | ||
| We've had several different incidents happening around the world, and they are falling right into the plans that we have. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| No, shall we say fear? | ||
| Because, of course, fear is control. | ||
| We know about that, I'm quite sure. | ||
| But in order to have this world effort against terrorism, well, we have to have some terrorism, don't we? | ||
| Yeah, well, listen, I have to leave here. | ||
| My servant here has told me that I have to have a meeting with George Sr., because GW just doesn't seem to get it. | ||
| Well, I have to run now. | ||
| That was about as close to a bit. | ||
| And I'll say it again. | ||
| I will say it again as much as I hate it. | ||
| Mr. Jones, would you please just back off a little bit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I don't think they've made enough Maalox! | |
| All right, well, your lordship, we've got Dave Von Kleist online. | ||
| I want to go ahead and bring him up. | ||
| Dave Von Kleist, would you like to talk and say something to his lordship? | ||
| Are we having fun yet, Alex? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So that's where Party Down originated. | ||
| There's a star show. | ||
| Are we having fun yet? | ||
| That's where it came from. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, when you trace these things back. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Dave Von Kleist. | ||
| That is astonishingly bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got no other adjectives. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| There's always an instinct in me to be contrarian in some ways for humor, you know, just to play the role of like... | ||
| To try and find something, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but I got nothing on it this time. | ||
| No, I mean, like, the satire is thin. | ||
| I guess the message that's being sent by the bit is that... | ||
| Alex is so dangerous to the globalists, the Rothschild overlord that's in the star chamber, that because he was on coast to coast and was reaching a ton of people, that they had to deploy their big guns, a guy on C-SPAN, and they want Alex to stop being so dangerous to them and stop telling people that symbols are hidden in commercials and movies are real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's not great. | ||
| But I mean... | ||
| As a bit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I mean, that's the thing. | ||
| The bit, though, then, you're describing is Alex talks to someone who wants Alex to stop talking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| So... | ||
| There's another way you could approach this. | ||
| It'd probably be funnier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think if I were to go about this... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| ...I would play the role of this Rothschild overlord. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I would be trying to convince Alex of other symbols meaning things. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or other movies being real. | ||
| Like, the movies didn't come into this conversation, so I'm gonna leave it aside. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, like, I would try to, like, explain to him the nefarious meanings behind all of the Lucky Charms marshmallows or something. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. | ||
| You know, like, play with that concept. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're going to, you can subvert or you can escalate, right? | ||
| So you can subvert and you can have the guy be like, actually, we're all huge fanciers, buddy. | ||
| This is the shit you're bringing. | ||
| We love it. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Because do you know what? | ||
| You make our job easier. | ||
| You wake up the wrong people. | ||
| You know, you can go that route. | ||
| You can do that. | ||
| Or you can escalate and be like, shit dude, we got a conspiracy for what's going on in your gut right now. | ||
| We've got conspiracies in your conspiracy. | ||
| Now here's the problem with that. | ||
| Either one of those directions requires a certain amount of heavy lifting on Alex's part to play the straight man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They do! | |
| Because what does he do in response to either of those things? | ||
| If it's ridiculous shit, like the Lucky Charms marshmallows being code, then he has to be like, no, it's not that stupid. | ||
| Or he has to go along with it and risk some of his audience actually not getting that it's satire. | ||
| Well, that's kind of the problem! | ||
| Yeah, exactly! | ||
| Now, if you go with the subversion of it, and you say, like, we're big fans, Yeah. | ||
| Or, like, what do you do if, like, if the point, as you laid it out, is, like, you wake up the wrong people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, how does Alex defend his audience inside this bit? | ||
| Like, yeah, he can't do anything. | ||
| Well, but that's the thing, is that once you do, once you make those two choices, you, I mean, in Alex's context, then it stops being funny, right? | ||
| So now you have a character that you can rail against and talk about how great your audience is, right? | ||
| So that guy says, you're waking up the wrong people, and then you... | ||
| You know, classic, like, elementary school... | ||
| But that's not a bit, then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it's... | |
| None of this is a bit! | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, but you're... | ||
| I know, I'm... | ||
| I just... | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| We gotta recast it. | ||
| Alex cannot be... | ||
| No shit. | ||
| That is the fundamental problem. | ||
| It's a personnel problem. | ||
| Because I do think... | ||
| I mean, it's an entirely different segment, but... | ||
| You know, for instance, the Lucky Charms marshmallows being code, I think that there is some kind of satire and parody that Alex could use to work for his... | ||
| Well, Patton Oswalt got there, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did. | |
| Yeah, he did that. | ||
| Actually, here's why I can't do LSD and be a parent. | ||
| I'm not worried that I'm going to put my baby in the microwave or something. | ||
| I'm worried that I'm going to be there with my six-year-old and be like, here you go. | ||
| Here's how the Lucky Charms propaganda works, man. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| I didn't even realize. | ||
| It was just the first thing that I thought of that had a bunch of symbols. | ||
| Yeah, it's there. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's there. | ||
| The bits are there. | ||
| Black hole of humor. | ||
| Well, I feel bad that I ripped off Patton Oswalt, but... | ||
| You didn't rip off Patton Oswalt. | ||
| I'm a hack. | ||
| Well, you are a hack. | ||
| That's why we both quit. | ||
| Harumph. | ||
| So, I mean, look. | ||
| I was about to say, I enjoy it when Alex does something different. | ||
| And that is true generally. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And generally, even when it's like not good, I still kind of am like, well, thank you. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In this case, I'm not really feeling thankful. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because I just think it was such a snooze. | ||
| There's just nothing going on. | ||
| I wanted to hear more about SeaWorld, quite frankly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which I did not think you could do. | ||
| I didn't think, after listening to that long, meandering, stupid story, that at the end of this I would be like, I would like a little bit more of this story. | ||
| Yeah, he was cooking when he was talking about the line and the security guards. | ||
| At least they were focused on the same story happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, we experienced it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And we'll be back. | ||
| But until then, Jordan, we have a website. | ||
| Indeed we do. | ||
| It's knowledgefight.com. | ||
| We're also on Twitter. | ||
| We are on Twitter. | ||
| It's at knowledgefight. | ||
| Yep, you can catch us not at SeaWorld. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Because that's a bad place. | ||
| Bad. | ||
| Treat the fish better. | ||
| Treat them better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blackfish. | |
| But until we come back from Great America Adventure... | ||
| The water park. | ||
| I'm Neo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Leo. | |
| I'm GCX Clark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And now here comes the sex robot. | |
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |
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