Today, Dan and Jordan attempt to record a little minisode from different countries. While Jordan has been out of town, Dan found a few clips from 1998 that the world needs to hear, which illustrate how little Alex has really changed over the past 23 years.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys, saying we are the bad guys. | |
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| Dan and George. | ||
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| Need money. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it. | |
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Andy in Kansas. | |
| It's time to pray. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| You're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
| Hello, Alex. | ||
| I'm a first time caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your room. | ||
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| Knowledgefight.com. | ||
| Hey everybody, welcome back to a little intercontinental sneaky-est snakes of all, perhaps. | ||
| I forgot how to say snake in French. | ||
| My French is a bit rusty. | ||
| Have you picked up a bit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snake. | |
| No, and every time, that's my favorite part of being here. | ||
| Every time, because my partner, she grew up in Canada and learned French through Quebec, you know? | ||
| Every time she's tried to even come close to saying a French word, they just immediately go like, English. | ||
| Okay, so they cut you off before you even come close to being like... | ||
| Bonjour. | ||
| They're like, nah, nah, nah, nah. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Don't fuck up my language. | ||
| They have a fair amount of disdain for people who try to speak French, which I think is the opposite of what I've heard of in Canada, where they have disdain if you don't try. | ||
| Yeah, give it a shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So anyway, I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| We are recording this over Zoom. | ||
| I am in Chicago. | ||
| You are in Paris, France. | ||
| I am in the nicest bathroom in Paris, France that I could find. | ||
| The lighting looks terrible in that bathroom, I will say. | ||
| Well, I could turn it on, but it's about 6 o 'clock here, so about 30 feet away, somebody is asleep. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| I don't want to get too... | ||
| This is going to sound incredibly depressing, but it's about midnight on Christmas for me. | ||
| It's the day after Christmas at 6 in the morning for you, and here we are. | ||
| And here we are, yeah. | ||
| Like totally normal people who do totally normal things. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Yeah, super good at it. | ||
| Well, see, here's the thing. | ||
| You left, and then everything happened. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It was like, hey, it's just going to be a week. | ||
| Jordan will be back. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| Alex sues the government. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was over Christmas! | |
| Yeah, he turns on Trump, decides he has to deal with Trump saying that he got the booster and it's great. | ||
| It's kind of amazing. | ||
| It is kind of amazing that we have spent two months in the present in almost a holding pattern. | ||
| Very much. | ||
| Just COVID, COVID, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And then the moment I'm gone, fireworks. | ||
| Yeah, it's whenever it's possible to cover the present, it sucks. | ||
| And then as soon as it's not possible, I'm listening to some of it. | ||
| I'm getting it ready for whenever we can record again. | ||
| It's fucking sweet. | ||
| Some of it is real fun. | ||
| There's some real schadenfreude that I'm experiencing. | ||
| We'll get in there. | ||
| Yeah, so that'll be fun. | ||
| But that actually kind of brings up why we're doing this little Zoom thing. | ||
| And that is because... | ||
| Who knows when you're going to be back, honestly. | ||
| Given the state of the world and international travel, we'd hoped that Wednesday you'd be back in time for us to have an episode for Wednesday, but that probably isn't going to be the case. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Doubtful. | |
| Very doubtful. | ||
| We're looking probably at Friday, and we can't leave people with a whole week till Friday. | ||
| We gotta come in with a little something. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be crazy to leave people with only, what, one episode when we promised them zero? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's just not our style. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| If we promise you zero, you're getting two episodes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I guess before we get into something that I have prepared for fun, you have a bright spot? | ||
| I do have a bright spot. | ||
| It is being in France. | ||
| Le spot du soleil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice! | |
| Isn't that Sunspot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| That's a different spot. | ||
| It's a little different. | ||
| Le spot de brilliance. | ||
| No, it's fantastic. | ||
| This place is amazing. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Paris is crazy. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| I love it here. | ||
| Have you gotten out to the countryside at all? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you literally cannot do that. | |
| You cannot leave Paris and re-enter it. | ||
| Without quarantining for like 10 days. | ||
| So it's like, meh. | ||
| That's made me feel safer than otherwise. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| The countryside's gorgeous, but maybe not that gorgeous. | ||
| Not worth it. | ||
| Yeah, you don't need it that bad. | ||
| Besides, I'm an indoor kid anyways. | ||
| I like cities, man. | ||
| This is a good city. | ||
| This is the first city I've been to outside of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see. | |
| San Francisco felt like a city. | ||
| And then a lot of other places out in Paris feels like a city. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Are you taking in any outdoor cafes? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Checking out that scene? | ||
| Every outdoor cafe. | ||
| You can't avoid it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did not believe there would be this much bread. | |
| I knew there was going to be a lot of bread. | ||
| I knew there was going to be a lot of bread. | ||
| Frankly, they're famous for it. | ||
| Le baguette. | ||
| Le croissant. | ||
| God damn, man. | ||
| All of these breads. | ||
| They're there. | ||
| I'm walking down the street. | ||
| People are hitting me in the streets with it. | ||
| You get a croissant du bleu, the butter croissant. | ||
| Oh, no, you want a chocolat du pain. | ||
| Ooh, so good. | ||
| I can't think of any more French words. | ||
| What's your bright spot, buddy? | ||
| Yeah, we'll get more in-depth on your trip when you get back, and we'll be able to decompress and everything. | ||
| I have an actual bright spot, and that is some presents that folks have sent, but I want to wait until you're here to actually, like... | ||
| Give shout-outs to them, but just preemptively thank you to those folks, and we'll zip up the mailbag whenever you're back. | ||
| But my other bright spot is that with you out of town, a little bit of a lighter workload, so I took the time to finally do something I've been meaning to for a while, and that is I went and I got an eye exam, and I got some glasses coming, so I'm very excited about that. | ||
| No shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
All the time glasses or readers? | |
| What's up? | ||
| All the time glasses? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| All the time glasses. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| I think, I mean, look, I sit here at the, you know, it screens a lot of the time, and, you know, I don't know. | ||
| I'm just going to wear the glasses. | ||
| I'm looking forward to it. | ||
| Yeah, I noticed a little bit of a diminishing in my eyesight over the last, like, couple years, and it's better to be proactive on that than not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely! | |
| And I'm excited for the, like, to really work on this professor look. | ||
| Like, the look is starting to come together a little bit. | ||
| Oh, no, I'm telling you. | ||
| You know how we do all of our live appearances? | ||
|
unidentified
|
When we do those, it makes me feel so much more comfortable if we're both wearing glasses. | |
| Sure, all of those live appearances we do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We can't stop doing live appearances, honestly. | |
| We've done two or three, ever. | ||
| So, Jordan, here's the deal. | ||
| In your absence, I've been trying to get a bit of stuff done. | ||
| And so, like, I've been hitting some bases like Reset Wars, obviously. | ||
| I've been going through the Reset Wars stuff. | ||
| But also, I've been digging into some of the old files that I've found on various real player things on websites that are long gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Cold case files. | ||
| You can still find the little audio files. | ||
| So today, what I've got for you, Is a couple of clips from Alex's show on June 30th, 1998 that I think are so funny. | ||
| So at this point, Alex's show is called Exposing Corruption. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He also is part of another show in Austin called The Freedom Report. | ||
| But that's not every day of the week. | ||
| I think this is just a weekly show at this point. | ||
| But anyway, he takes calls sometimes. | ||
| And so that's what we're going to listen to today. | ||
| We're going to listen to a guy who's calling in and wanting to talk to Alex about like, hey man, are you serious? | ||
| And so this is where we will start with this caller. | ||
| I'm a very passive person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I watch you practically every week, Alex. | |
| I got to admit, a lot of you is entertainment as far as... | ||
| The reason why I watch you. | ||
| But, I mean, I think you've got a lot of good things to say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
On the other hand, I'm one of those people that go, okay, settle down. | |
| Everything's going to be cool. | ||
| I think everything, you know. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Do you have any elderly people that live around you? | ||
| I just moved to my, you know, neighborhood just recently. | ||
| Let me ask you a question. | ||
| grandparents, not the ones that not my father's parents, but my mother's parents live in a humble home with a nice, you know, backyard and they worked hard their lives and they're not rich. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And the IRS tried to steal their house. | ||
| Personally, I haven't seen that type of I have to stop here. | ||
| Does humble home mean something like, is that something really specific or is it just like it's not that big of a home? | ||
| I think the idea behind Humble Home is the person who lives in it is not embarrassed, but also not going to tell people all about it. | ||
| It's not ostentatious. | ||
| There are no minarets. | ||
| I'm just picturing the moment young Alex says the IRS tried to steal my parents' homes. | ||
| I am picturing jackbooted thugs. | ||
| Breaking it in the middle of the night and trying to put little suspenders underneath the house to lift it up, put it on the truck and get it out of there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm seeing people coming from black helicopters, rappelling down ropes and attaching the house to the helicopter. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's probably just that they didn't pay their taxes. | ||
| So anyway, Alex's grandparents have befallen this fate and also some other guy that Alex knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's had a stroke. | |
| They target old people. | ||
| Bureaucrats target old people. | ||
| You know, you sit here, they target them because a lot of times they can't stand up for themselves and they just get sucked dry by the bureaucrats because they're getting a little bit old. | ||
| You take Roland Ellingson, another World War II veteran, living out there on... | ||
|
unidentified
|
West 37. $2,000 a day fines for 3-inch grass. | |
| I showed you the ticket. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Well, then what do you want from me? | ||
| Don't you tell me this is entertainment. | ||
| Oh, come on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Don't you tell me this is entertainment, buddy. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| I called you up to be... | ||
| Don't, don't... | ||
| No, I'm sick of it. | ||
| I'm sick of it. | ||
| I'm standing up for the people, damn it. | ||
| Oh, I understand that, man. | ||
| This isn't an act. | ||
| I'm a real person. | ||
| There's some chivalry left in this country, buddy. | ||
| I haven't had my soul sucked out. | ||
| I think it's wrong that people can't sell their houses because of the environmental crap that corporations can go around and lobby the politicians and get out of. | ||
| Alex, man, I did not call you up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man, you don't have to get in people's face like this, man. | |
| I don't want you to kiss my ass. | ||
| I want you to get up and do something. | ||
| I want you to get up and do something. | ||
| And don't you tell me I got a problem because I care about this country. | ||
| Alex, I'm all right, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I, you know, it's all I can confront those IRS people, but I'm afraid to. | |
| But as I grow stronger, someday I may do what it takes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm defending this Constitution. | |
| I'm defending this country. | ||
| I love this so much because it's like Alex's monologuing and his nonsense stuff works so much better when he has a cough button and he can just not let people respond. | ||
| This guy's like, come on, man! | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best line in there is, Alex, I'm okay, man. | |
| That's my favorite. | ||
| Alex, Alex, calm it down. | ||
| I'm just trying to tell you that you're screaming too much and you're an alarmist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you talking about? | |
| Yeah, so unfortunately, the file that I have doesn't have everything surrounding this, but from all the context you can get, Alex is talking about the IRS. | ||
| Trying to steal people's homes. | ||
| And this guy is saying that maybe he's being a little bit over the top about it. | ||
| Alex, there's a lot of injustice in this world. | ||
| I get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm with you. | |
| But screaming about it isn't going to do too much good, is it? | ||
| Okay, I'm starting to see that this might be an issue for further conversations. | ||
| I think that there's something so awesome about just the juxtaposition, too, that, like, makes Alex's yelling so much funnier. | ||
| Like, having a straight man to his yelling, it's exactly what you kind of need to pierce the reality of it. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| The more calm the straight man is, the funnier it is to see Alex lose his fucking mind. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| So, this caller brings up that Alex doesn't really use a whole lot of sources in his reporting. | ||
| This is where the conversation veers off towards. | ||
| And this kind of makes Alex angry a little bit, you might say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You rely on a source when it tells you something you want to know. | |
| That's when the source is good. | ||
| Otherwise, the source is crap. | ||
| No, no, we have children right here. | ||
| I talk about everything's children. | ||
| Saving play for a rainy day. | ||
| People who look to the future of China. | ||
| Cheaper age regime may save thousands of children. | ||
| Children, children. | ||
| Oh, today's paper. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry, the chip page. | ||
| Children. | ||
| The DNA chips are going to help children. | ||
| Here. | ||
| I'm not through. | ||
| I'm not through smoking. | ||
| I'm not through China, the failing end. | ||
| We've got to help the children. | ||
| Oh, God, this guy's taking his kids fishing with his children. | ||
| Oh, look, look, look. | ||
| This is a wholesome Disney movie. | ||
| It's for your children. | ||
| Yeah, I answered your question. | ||
| Let's go to video, and I'll be back. | ||
| You are a child. | ||
| That's what they want you to do. | ||
| That's what the word child means. | ||
| They want you to be the babies of the state. | ||
| We're the children, dumbass. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| I'll take your phone calls. | ||
| I'm full of corruption, damn it. | ||
| Yeah, so Alex stormed off his own show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even back in 1998, he couldn't control himself. | |
| And he'll just storm off his own show. | ||
| 1998. | ||
| We have gone back 23 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Only to discover that he's not mad at the crew, but he just can't do this for a while. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna have to go to rebroadcast. | |
| This caller is being too much of a dick. | ||
| I gotta play a video and get the fuck out of here because this guy is a child. | ||
| I like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Alex, do you realize that everything you do is built entirely upon confirmation bias? | |
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You're a child! | ||
| That's fair enough. | ||
| I like that the sign of an artist, I think, is somebody who will do the same thing when they're rich and when they're struggling. | ||
| And to see Alex freaking out and storming off his own show when he's a millionaire and when he's on public access is pretty awesome. | ||
| I think the real hallmark of an artist is to never evolve in any significant way. | ||
| Speaking of evolution, you made a point that in the present day, Alex, you know, he's not mad at the crew. | ||
| No. | ||
| And here's what happened right after this video that Alex played in 1998. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Austin, Texas. | |
| Totally. | ||
| Hope you're enjoying the show tonight. | ||
| We're making a new rule. | ||
| Nobody goes in the control room or we have no reason to even do this show. | ||
| Because every time five or six people come up and hang out in the control room, this happens. | ||
| And I don't understand why. | ||
| And look, I know this is all volunteer, but I mean, we've got to bring the public. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is important. | |
| And I'm not mad at y 'all. | ||
| You've got to show up to me for the show. | ||
| You can still do a good job, which you do do. | ||
| We just gotta keep people out of control. | ||
| It's not your fault. | ||
| He literally said he's not mad at the crew. | ||
| Does he exist outside of time? | ||
| Is he right about one thing, which is that he's beyond the fourth dimension and that no matter what era we see him in, he will be doing exactly the same thing? | ||
| What's remarkable about it is it's not the same thing in terms of the content that he's putting out. | ||
| It's not the same thing in terms of even a lot of the beliefs that he has. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The things that are the same are the petulant outbursts. | |
| He's a shitty child. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think this is a cautionary tale about people who are very suspicious about mental health. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think the explanation of all of this, when you get down to it, is... | |
| Alex had some sort of mental, emotional issue. | ||
| His parents didn't help him grow up. | ||
| And he's not experienced any consequences for his behaviors. | ||
| And that's how you get a violent sociopath on the radio. | ||
| I imagine it was years and years of him yelling at his parents and then coming back and being like, I'm not mad at the parents. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, right? | |
| That's your only conclusion now after watching him on the show 23 years ago. | ||
| He must have been doing that. | ||
| 33 years ago when he was 12 or whatever. | ||
| Scream at the teachers and then storm out of the room and then come back after talking to the counselor and be like, look, I'm not mad at the teachers. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm not mad at the math. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right? | |
| I get it. | ||
| I understand the math. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every time I try to do math, we wind up doing this. | |
| So, I get it. | ||
| But we gotta fix math. | ||
| Yeah, I found that and I thought, well, we cannot bring this to the world. | ||
| I can't sit on that. | ||
| When I hear 1998, I'm not mad at the crew, the world must know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's got to be broadcast and then rebroadcast whenever you get real angry. | |
| So, Jordan, I hope the rest of your trip goes well and you have a safe return. | ||
| As do I. Thanks for making time in the bathroom to do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| You know, it's odd to say, but this is maybe one of my favorite, if not my favorite thing to do. | ||
| Sit in the bathroom and talk to Dan. | ||
| I feel honored, and I will talk to you soon, man. | ||
| Be safe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love you, buddy. | |
| Love you, man. | ||
| We'll see y 'all on Friday, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, hopefully. | |
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
| Hello Alex, I'm a first time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |