Comedy Oasis Returns
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
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The Joe Rogan Experience.
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Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
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Let's go.
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We're back, boys.
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We're back.
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We are back.
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We're Comedy Oasis.
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That's right.
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What's the story, Morning Glory?
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It's been almost a year.
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Wow, it's flying by.
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What are we, 12 now?
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Is this 12th episode?
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No, I think we're way.
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16?
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Yeah, we're probably 40.
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Damn, that's a lot of drinking.
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How many times have we played Freebird?
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Oh, we're playing it again.
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We're going to go to the exact same episode we always did.
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We're going to talk about coming out of the closet.
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Play Metallica.
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Yeah, play Metallica.
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R. Kelly.
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So it turns out that that lady, that was a scam, that was fake.
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The lady who forced the guy to fuck her, was it JP Morgan?
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What?
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Yeah, wasn't real.
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She was hot.
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Yeah, I know.
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Was that in the last one we did?
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Jamie said it's fake, right?
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It's fake?
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Yeah, the news is going around that it's like there was like a lawsuit that is not accurate, apparently.
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It's like a retaliatory lawsuit.
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So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made him fuck her.
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Damn, he's a pussy.
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Wait, is he an Indian guy?
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I believe so.
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Yeah.
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Gross.
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It does read like an Indian guy now that I'm thinking about it.
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Like a scam?
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Like the horniest guy ever.
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Just coming up with the hottest scene.
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She called him cannons.
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Once a lady calls her tits cannons.
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Have you ever heard of a girl call her tits cannons?
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Right.
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18 year old or 16 year old boy thing.
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I've never heard cannons.
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Cannons, gazongas.
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What's happening to her?
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I've never heard guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them.
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Mm hmm.
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I've heard cans.
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Cannons.
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Sure, yeah.
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Torpedoes.
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I've heard cannons.
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I think.
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I'm pretty sure I've heard cannons.
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Nick Cannons.
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Jugs.
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Nick Cannons.
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Jugs.
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Jugs.
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Jugs are horrible.
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Sweater puppets, fun bags, knockers.
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They're just boobs and tits.
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But a lady saying that?
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That's no lady.
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I'm sure she said.
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Because she did?
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No, that's no lady.
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She said, I'm sure your fish head Asian wife doesn't have cannons like this.
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Fish head.
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That's what he said.
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That's what he said.
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She said.
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Damn.
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What's that to mean more movies?
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He's claiming it's that?
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Striptease.
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No, no.
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When she was the boss and she made the guy fuck her.
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Disclosure.
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Disclosure.
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Oh, I used to yank it to that one.
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Oh, God, she was hot.
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The article almost made me yank it this morning.
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I know, right?
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I was laying in bed, seeing that Twitter thing.
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Fish head.
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She's hot as hell.
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She's hot.
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Indian guys should write more stuff.
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This guy's a writer, yeah.
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So if he got fired and he made up that story, what should the repercussions be?
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Jail.
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Yeah.
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You can't just do that.
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Especially, well, for sure.
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But if it's well written, though.
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If it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things.
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The guy would be fired.
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He would be shamed.
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But no one's mad at that lady.
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No, no, no.
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No one's mad at that lady for making him fuck her.
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No, we love the lady.
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Even in the moment before it came out as a hoax when they thought it was true, her boss was like, come on, you can't be doing that.
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Yeah, that's about as bad as it got.
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Or he pulled her into the office and go, let me see him.
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Let me see these cannons.
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Let me see these cannons.
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Bust out the missiles.
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We just got to do our research, due diligence.
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I just got to see the cannons.
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Which also, we should.
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He might be telling the truth.
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Are we sure it's fake yet?
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Are we sure it's fake?
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What a great way to have no one believe you is if you intentionally use words like that.
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Like, I would never speak that way.
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There's been a string of middle-age horrors going around lately.
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Have you noticed that?
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Love it.
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It's back.
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It's back.
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Like the reporter chick who's been banging the football coach.
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Christy Gnome was cheating on that guy with the tits.
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Oh, the guy with the tits was fucking.
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The tits rock.
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Those are canons.
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Crazy.
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The chick who wrote the RFK article that had a deeply emotional relationship with him.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah.
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And then that was the second one.
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It was crazy.
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Then there was the second one she had like that.
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She likes to get her to know her subjects.
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The texts were wild, though.
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Deeply emotional.
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Pull them up.
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Both back and forth.
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His version was wild.
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Wait, this is a while ago, right?
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Yeah, this is a couple years ago.
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Yeah, there's something like, Let My River Flow into Your.
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It was odd.
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It's like a Dave Matthews song.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Damn.
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Does he text like he talks?
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Is it all jumbly?
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But see, for a lady, it's like a free shot.
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You never have to worry about getting in trouble.
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No one's even going to be in trouble.
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No one's going to be mad at her as a journalist, even.
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It's only she's discredited.
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Yeah.
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The husband was like, this is kind of lame.
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The husband didn't love it.
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Oh, she's married?
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Oh, she's a freak.
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Yeah.
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The reporter with RFK.
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Mm.
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A legend.
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He was a heroin addict, too.
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He's a fun dude.
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Fun.
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Got after it.
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Oh, yeah.
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Lived his life.
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I like him a lot.
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Didn't use the stutter.
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That's true.
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It's not a stutter, it's a vaccine injury.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah.
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He didn't use the stutter that way?
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No.
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From the flu vaccine.
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Yeah, you see videos of him from the 90s?
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He had a great voice.
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Great one.
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Black hair.
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Are you reading the text?
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They're hilarious.
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Yeah.
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It's like Prince Charles.
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Any dude who tries to be romantic, it's like.
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It's a poem?
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Yeah, it's a sexual act.
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As soon as you're writing a lady a poem, it's over.
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How do we know this is true?
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I think it was verified.
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Because from what I remember, it was verified.
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Olivia Nuzzy.
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Nuzzy.
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She sounds like a freak.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, she's sharing it, so it could be from anybody.
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She sounds like Staten Island trash.
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You're open mouth.
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You're open mouth.
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I'm awaiting my harvest.
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Oh, hey.
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There we go.
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She looks like fun.
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Not too shabby.
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Don't spill a drop.
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You're open.
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YR?
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Who writes YR for your.
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Come on, really?
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It's trying to look like a tooth.
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Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest?
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That doesn't even make sense.
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You think he eats ass?
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Because that's processed.
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This is my favorite one.
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I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth.
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I'll hold your nose as you look up to me to encourage you to swallow.
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Whoa!
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Don't spill a drop.
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I am a river.
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You are my canyon.
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Wow.
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Baja, baby.
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Wow, my love.
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Okay, I'm not buying this.
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That sounds like literature.
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But I can't have a Pop Tart?
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You can't have Fruit Loops with the good colors.
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I love these great Fruit Loops, dude.
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That's the part.
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You ever seen Canadian Fruit Loops?
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They're bland and dim and dull.
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That's what they're going to sell here now.
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It's over.
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We used to be a country.
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It's over.
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But is this got to be a way to make them prettier?
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Yeah.
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Without giving you ass cancer?
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Right.
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There's got to be some way.
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Give us the ass cancer.
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A lot of people are getting the ass cancer.
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I saw that.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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All I do is, like, since it's early.
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30s.
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He's got stage three ass cancer.
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Yeah.
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But he also took four shots.
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Four of them.
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Uh huh.
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For what shots?
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Ass shots?
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Vaccines.
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And that gives you ass cancer?
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He can give you cancer.
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Allegedly.
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Did he boof the shots?
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That's the way to do it if you really want to get an ass.
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Don't tell me how to take the vaccine.
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He stuck the actual needle right into the hole.
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In West Hollywood, they're just going to plunge her in the.
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Jimmy, boof it.
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You got the boofer.
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Yeah.
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Well, Trump almost got a shot the other day.
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Isn't that crazy?
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What a crazy thing.
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That's the third assassination attempt on that dude.
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The fucking guy ran.
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You didn't see this.
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I did.
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Bobby kind of mentioned it in passing.
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Assassination attempt?
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Not really.
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It was at the White House press correspondence dinner.
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Where Reagan got shot.
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Was it Michelle Walker?
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Same hotel.
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Oh, really?
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Oh, wow.
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That was a good one.
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So that was the trip advisor must be rough on that one.
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That was a correspondence dinner.
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Was there a comedian there?
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No.
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Oz the Mentalist.
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Oz the Mentalist, yeah.
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Oz the mentalist.
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You think he would have saw it coming?
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He probably kept his mouth shut.
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He's like, I think we're going to go attack two more Arab countries.
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You know what's hilarious?
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Metzger goes, Did you see the fake assassination attempt?
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Don't you know?
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Don't you know about Gilgamesh?
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And you're like, what?
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Gilgamesh.
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He always brings in his references.
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Drothschilds.
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Bro, what are you saying?
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I don't know.
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You don't need the references.
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Oh, you don't know?
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If Metzger can't get it up, he's like, Israel.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Everything's Israel.
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I forget about it.
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It's Israel.
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Pretty good excuse.
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I'm going to start using it.
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Stop everything.
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Some of those Kanye clips you showed me are fucking wild.
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He's the best.
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He's so fun.
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What's nice is the shooter was mixed race.
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That's nice.
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Is that nice?
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That's nice because you're always like, don't be white.
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Don't be white.
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Or don't be black.
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And don't be Arab.
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That's a whole different combo.
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What was the combo?
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Don't be an Arab.
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Just an American liberal.
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Wow.
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Just a standard American liberal.
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Had enough of the whatever you want to say he is dictator.
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Oh, right, right.
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Fascism.
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The whole thing.
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Fascism, pedophile.
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He was like a smart guy, a valedictorian.
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He was like a scientist guy.
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I think he was a teacher.
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Must be extra tough for those guys because they're like so.
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You haven't gotten into a fight since you were seven.
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And then you're going to get a gun and try to kill a high level person.
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What a step up.
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Well, he shot a Secret Service guy.
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He was in the vest.
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Oh, shit.
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I don't know who shot who he shot.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah.
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Oh, okay.
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You're saying the Secret Service guy shot himself?
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Not himself.
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It might have been friendly fire.
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He was trying to get out.
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It might have been friendly fire.
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Is it that lady again?
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Yes, I think she was.
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The lady was there.
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The one that looks like me?
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I'm glad to have her.
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We were joking around about it in the green room.
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Imagine if she was like, I know I fucked up way back in July, but look, guys, I'm better.
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Yeah.
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I've been working out.
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Yeah.
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And then this is their second assignment.
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Ooh.
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We didn't talk about this part yet.
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The tweet?
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This is the guy.
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Oh, yeah, the weird time machine tweet.
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Yeah, this is nuts.
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So the Cole Allen guy tried to kill Trump.
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It's not inside the White House, though, right?
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It was at a hotel.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Okay, an ex account for 2023 wrote a single tweet with that name.
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With what?
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So just wrote Cole Allen from 2023.
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The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing.
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The background image from a website called Time machine.
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If you de digitize it, the 2024 assassination attempt photos appear, but with a hole in the head instead of the ear.
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The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass, exactly like Trump in the assassination attempt.
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Either it's the most elaborate psyop in history, or someone from the future is leaving clues in the past that only make sense once the events happen.
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Okay.
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Why does time travelers keep trying to kill me?
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I'm just a dang person.
► 00:10:31
Wait a minute.
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How is that picture the same?
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That is not the same.
► 00:10:34
That's just a bunch of colors, and you could decide it's the same.
► 00:10:36
No, you've got to decode it.
► 00:10:38
Oh, it's like a mall rats.
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You gotta squeeze your eyes together.
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I'll try.
► 00:10:42
It appears if you squeeze your eyes together.
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I'll try.
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Sailboat.
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What do you, like one of those things where you could say, like words, you know?
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Yeah, it was always a sailboat or a guitar.
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Always.
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Mall rats.
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Do you think that makes sense, Jamie?
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This picture part of it does not make a lot of sense, I don't think.
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But it's weird that the guy is strange.
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The tweet is nuts.
► 00:11:01
The tweet is strange enough.
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From two years ago.
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So he's trying to work up the courage for that.
► 00:11:06
Three years.
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2023, yeah.
► 00:11:07
Yeah, and then the fact that it's a frog, it's one of those keck guys.
► 00:11:10
Right.
► 00:11:11
Those nutty fucking pranksters.
► 00:11:13
It's funny if he was just trying to search somebody's name.
► 00:11:18
He just got it right.
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He was just like, I staled it.
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Cool guy.
► 00:11:21
Is that the only tweet this guy ever made?
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I think so.
► 00:11:24
Whoa.
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Weird.
► 00:11:26
There is a bunch of random Twitter accounts that have tweeted random names just one time, so I don't know what the odds of that happening are.
► 00:11:33
They're pretty slim.
► 00:11:35
These are the eight guys we have trying to work with mentally.
► 00:11:40
So one of them will be activated and try to kill somebody.
► 00:11:42
So let's get into it.
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Let's get into it.
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Yeah.
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So that guy really was, is that factual, though?
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That the guy really was a NASA scientist, Henry Martinez?
► 00:11:50
Well, so when the people were looking up his history, he had a brief, I think like an internship at JPL, NASA, Jet Labs or something.
► 00:12:01
Yeah.
► 00:12:01
And I think the other guy did too.
► 00:12:03
I don't know that anybody knows more than that.
► 00:12:05
It is weird where you find out a lot of these guys have these weird ties.
► 00:12:08
Like that guy who tried to shoot Trump in Pennsylvania was in a BlackRock commercial.
► 00:12:13
Oh, yeah.
► 00:12:14
What?
► 00:12:15
It's all connected.
► 00:12:16
I did a lot of commercials when I was coming up, and BlackRock never.
► 00:12:20
I didn't get an audition for any of those.
► 00:12:22
Yeah, right?
► 00:12:22
I don't know how you get that commercial.
► 00:12:23
I would love to get that gig.
► 00:12:24
It's got to be non union.
► 00:12:25
Not only that, you definitely get brought into the fold.
► 00:12:29
He was Teacher of the Year, this guy.
► 00:12:31
So, did this guy get a shot off?
► 00:12:32
Was he close enough to get a shot off?
► 00:12:33
Allegedly.
► 00:12:34
Jamie said allegedly he shot a Secret Service guy.
► 00:12:37
How are these guys getting so close?
► 00:12:38
But it might have been that lady, the fat lady.
► 00:12:40
Well, this guy shot him.
► 00:12:41
Maybe.
► 00:12:42
Trying to get her gun out?
► 00:12:42
No, shit.
► 00:12:43
It might have been a P320.
► 00:12:45
It might have shot himself.
► 00:12:47
She's handsome.
► 00:12:50
It's just crazy that they don't have better security.
► 00:12:53
Yeah, what the hell?
► 00:12:54
How'd the guy get in the hotel with a gun?
► 00:12:56
Like, how are you not checking every room?
► 00:12:58
How are you not, like, checking everyone's bags?
► 00:13:00
If you know that the president and Marco Rubio, all these fucking people are going to be there, and Oz the Mentalist, and you don't have someone checking guns.
► 00:13:08
Why is there better security at the improv on Black Comic Night?
► 00:13:14
Yeah, throw up a metal detector.
► 00:13:16
It's just crazy that they don't check for guns.
► 00:13:19
That's wild.
► 00:13:20
On a day where it's like the president's going to be there, you didn't check for Guns.
► 00:13:23
I get it if it's like a UFC sniper or somewhere.
► 00:13:26
It's like we can't check everybody like that.
► 00:13:27
It's like 20,000 people.
► 00:13:28
But like this is so small.
► 00:13:30
They're saying he did shoot him, but I don't think this was the first time.
► 00:13:32
Secret Service agent did not shoot himself.
► 00:13:34
I don't think there's any question of what happened here.
► 00:13:36
That video they're playing is the AI video.
► 00:13:38
Yeah, that's.
► 00:13:39
Well, no, this is the real video, which is blurry.
► 00:13:42
And then AI, they enhanced it because this fucking hotel is shitty old cameras.
► 00:13:47
Oh.
► 00:13:47
Which is crazy.
► 00:13:48
So that's the guy.
► 00:13:50
By the way, guy's putting in some fucking work there.
► 00:13:52
There's some speed.
► 00:13:53
He's got wheels.
► 00:13:54
Yeah, he moves.
► 00:13:55
That guy can move.
► 00:13:55
Half black.
► 00:13:57
Hat whack.
► 00:13:57
Hat whack, whack, whack.
► 00:14:01
Teacher, he can shoot.
► 00:14:03
Teachers, you know, they work at a school.
► 00:14:05
I mean, what did he think was going to happen?
► 00:14:07
He was going to get past all the secret security guys, get through the crowd, find Trump behind the stage, and shoot him?
► 00:14:12
Like, how do you think he was going to get to it?
► 00:14:14
I think these guys don't think it out, but I bet they go, I'm going to shoot him, then everyone's going to love me.
► 00:14:18
Yeah, they're going to be Luigi or some shit.
► 00:14:21
It might be schizophrenia, too.
► 00:14:22
Yeah.
► 00:14:23
Yeah, he might be out of his fucking mind.
► 00:14:24
But he lived, right?
► 00:14:25
He's in jail.
► 00:14:26
Yeah, he lived.
► 00:14:26
The guy who shot Reagan was like, Taxi driver told me to do it.
► 00:14:30
Well, he rules.
► 00:14:31
Yeah.
► 00:14:31
So it was like, I think he's out.
► 00:14:33
Was that Hinkley?
► 00:14:34
Yeah, Hinkley's out.
► 00:14:35
He's playing music.
► 00:14:35
Yeah, he plays music.
► 00:14:36
I think we've covered this on there.
► 00:14:37
Yeah, he plays a lot of shit.
► 00:14:40
It's terrible.
► 00:14:40
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:14:44
Yeah, he was inspired by Jody Foster.
► 00:14:47
Jody Foster made him shoot.
Teacher Shooting Conspiracy
00:07:11
► 00:14:49
There it is.
► 00:14:50
I will be your man.
► 00:14:52
Oh, fuck.
► 00:14:54
That's a threat.
► 00:14:54
2023, recent release.
► 00:14:56
Can't wait to see it.
► 00:14:56
Let's hear 2023.
► 00:14:57
I like his job title.
► 00:14:58
Let's hear it.
► 00:14:59
Criminal.
► 00:14:59
I want to hear I will be your man.
► 00:15:01
Let's hear what Hinkley's, what his.
► 00:15:03
Jams are like, oh, we have to pay for this.
► 00:15:05
We have to pay for that?
► 00:15:06
No, okay.
► 00:15:08
Oh man, he's got his name on the guitar just in case you don't know who shot Lincoln.
► 00:15:19
Shoot him for things so long ago.
► 00:15:32
Oh, yeah, he's trying to.
► 00:15:33
MKUltra?
► 00:15:34
I misunderstood.
► 00:15:35
That's what MKUltra does to him, man.
► 00:15:37
Yeah, he looks like his brain's been washed.
► 00:15:39
Yeah.
► 00:15:39
Like they just poured bleach in his ears.
► 00:15:41
Yeah.
► 00:15:42
They're going to release MKUltra files this week, I think.
► 00:15:45
Yeah, I bet.
► 00:15:46
Yeah, we're all right.
► 00:15:48
They were supposed to release UFO files.
► 00:15:49
A lot of black lines coming in that one.
► 00:15:51
Yeah, whatever happened to the fucking UFO files?
► 00:15:53
Did he do Kennedy yet?
► 00:15:54
Is Kennedy out?
► 00:15:56
No.
► 00:15:56
What?
► 00:15:58
What?
► 00:15:58
JFK?
► 00:15:59
Yeah.
► 00:15:59
Turns out there's some stuff in there that we couldn't see.
► 00:16:02
CIA.
► 00:16:04
Yep.
► 00:16:04
Maybe some other ones.
► 00:16:07
Congresswoman Anna Polina Luna lances House hearings on MKUltra next month.
► 00:16:12
What is that, a gang?
► 00:16:14
No.
► 00:16:14
I did see it.
► 00:16:15
What's MKUltra?
► 00:16:16
You don't know what that is?
► 00:16:17
No.
► 00:16:17
That's the mind control experiments that the CIA did in the 1960s and 70s.
► 00:16:20
Honest people going to hookers.
► 00:16:22
Good, honest people going to hookers.
► 00:16:23
They took advantage of them.
► 00:16:24
That's one part of it.
► 00:16:25
Yeah, that was Operation Midnight Climax.
► 00:16:28
They ran Bronx.
► 00:16:29
What a good name.
► 00:16:30
Great name.
► 00:16:30
What a good name.
► 00:16:31
Solid name.
► 00:16:33
Yeah.
► 00:16:34
Absolutely proven.
► 00:16:36
That's all from a Freedom of Information Act request and from some documents that they found.
► 00:16:40
What was the guy's name that was like the head of MKUltra?
► 00:16:43
Jolly West.
► 00:16:44
Yeah.
► 00:16:44
And then he went and saw Jack Ruby and Jimmy.
► 00:16:46
Yeah, Jack Ruby went crazy.
► 00:16:47
Yeah.
► 00:16:47
Started saying they were lighting Jews on fire in hell.
► 00:16:51
Like they gave him acid.
► 00:16:52
Yeah.
► 00:16:52
He's also connected to Manson.
► 00:16:54
Yeah.
► 00:16:54
Yeah.
► 00:16:55
Like this guy was running mind control operations all throughout the country.
► 00:16:59
Wow.
► 00:16:59
They ran brothels where they gave the Johns acid and the ladies would come out and give the Johns acid and they would watch through a two way mirror and then film them.
► 00:17:08
Yeah.
► 00:17:08
Whoa.
► 00:17:08
That's how they react.
► 00:17:09
Fucking hell of a night at the brothel.
► 00:17:11
I know.
► 00:17:11
Right?
► 00:17:12
So sick.
► 00:17:13
This lady's pussy is allergic.
► 00:17:15
That's talking to me.
► 00:17:16
Trying to get laid.
► 00:17:17
Next thing you know, you're fucking seeing Jesus.
► 00:17:19
Seeing Jesus.
► 00:17:21
Jesus is in a candle.
► 00:17:22
You lean into it.
► 00:17:23
That's a good night.
► 00:17:24
Right?
► 00:17:25
Trying to get a hooker.
► 00:17:25
You go, oh, shit.
► 00:17:27
You lean into it.
► 00:17:29
Meanwhile, your wife's at home waiting for the milk and bread to come back.
► 00:17:31
I was supposed to be gone for 30 minutes.
► 00:17:33
I was just trying to get a handjob.
► 00:17:36
Fuck, is he?
► 00:17:36
It's the worst lie ever.
► 00:17:37
The CIA, they drugged me.
► 00:17:38
What do you want?
► 00:17:39
Yeah.
► 00:17:40
How many marriages would completely dissolve if prostitution was totally legal?
► 00:17:46
They'd be a lot easier to do.
► 00:17:47
Are they talking?
► 00:17:48
That's the thing.
► 00:17:49
Are the hookers talking?
► 00:17:50
Yeah.
► 00:17:50
No, but guys are bad at covering up.
► 00:17:52
It's like Uber ratings, you know?
► 00:17:53
Oh, that would be bad.
► 00:17:54
You know what I'm saying?
► 00:17:55
Like some Uber drivers, they won't shut the fuck up.
► 00:17:57
They want to play music.
► 00:17:57
I don't want to see my passenger score.
► 00:17:59
Yeah.
► 00:18:00
I don't want an XL either.
► 00:18:02
Fuck it.
► 00:18:04
For prostitutes?
► 00:18:05
You know what I mean?
► 00:18:06
If they made prostitution completely legal and then they had scores, do you not think gals would do it?
► 00:18:12
I think they would.
► 00:18:13
I think there'd be plenty of gals that would sign up.
► 00:18:15
Plenty of gals.
► 00:18:15
They're doing it now.
► 00:18:16
Prostitution was only for the girls.
► 00:18:17
They're doing it now, and it's illegal.
► 00:18:19
How so?
► 00:18:20
Oh, yeah, they are.
► 00:18:20
So, of course, if you took down the barriers, they would keep doing it.
► 00:18:24
Isn't it legal in New York City now?
► 00:18:26
Prostitution?
► 00:18:27
Yeah.
► 00:18:27
Kind of.
► 00:18:28
I've never been caught.
► 00:18:29
What is the.
► 00:18:30
How many guys are you blowing?
► 00:18:32
Hey, hey.
► 00:18:32
Motherfucker, I was a guest in this.
► 00:18:34
Yeah, it is.
► 00:18:35
It was right there.
► 00:18:35
Yeah, it was a leg.
► 00:18:36
It's just in that beard.
► 00:18:37
It was right there.
► 00:18:39
But they did do something.
► 00:18:40
Were they like decriminalized sex work in New York?
► 00:18:42
Yeah, I think you're right.
► 00:18:43
Yeah.
► 00:18:44
Let's find out, JMO.
► 00:18:45
Mm hmm.
► 00:18:46
Sex work.
► 00:18:47
I love when they read in for that.
► 00:18:48
Sex work.
► 00:18:49
They always have unhoused sex workers.
► 00:18:51
It's sex work until one of them is fucking your husband, then it's a hooker.
► 00:18:53
Exactly.
► 00:18:55
If you call a girl a horse, she gets mad.
► 00:18:56
Like, which one is it?
► 00:18:58
Sex worker.
► 00:18:59
Call a girl sex.
► 00:19:00
You're a fucking sex worker.
► 00:19:01
Hey.
► 00:19:01
That's a legitimate profession.
► 00:19:02
I love that.
► 00:19:03
It's a pretty funny way to do it.
► 00:19:05
Prostitution is illegal in New York City, but enforcement and politics around sex work are in flux.
► 00:19:10
Ooh.
► 00:19:10
You're in flux.
► 00:19:11
Active debates about decriminalization and new protections for sex workers and trafficking survivors.
► 00:19:18
Anyone else?
► 00:19:18
Well, that's kind of crazy, isn't it?
► 00:19:19
If you have protection for the survivors, so you're saying that they're victims, but then you're also decriminalizing it.
► 00:19:26
So, you're making it okay to do?
► 00:19:28
Right.
► 00:19:28
You're saying that they're victims?
► 00:19:30
No, and like when it's where it is legal, they go, No one's going to abuse you because you don't need a pimp.
► 00:19:36
Right.
► 00:19:36
Because you can go into public care.
► 00:19:37
Right.
► 00:19:37
You probably should.
► 00:19:38
So, that's, well, listen, if you can give someone a massage, you should be able to jerk them off, which doesn't make any sense.
► 00:19:44
You got that right, Robert Drift.
► 00:19:46
Poor guy.
► 00:19:48
Old bastard.
► 00:19:48
I met that guy.
► 00:19:49
You can't help think about that when you're shaking his hands.
► 00:19:51
Like, sorry they got you, sir.
► 00:19:55
Sorry they got you.
► 00:19:55
Just a normal thing.
► 00:19:57
It could happen to so many people.
► 00:19:58
100%.
► 00:19:59
They set him up.
► 00:20:00
He wasn't even getting laid.
► 00:20:01
No.
► 00:20:01
It's handy.
► 00:20:03
And he's like, I never got a massage handy.
► 00:20:05
Me neither.
► 00:20:06
I'm down.
► 00:20:07
Every single massage I got, I've been like, I'll take it.
► 00:20:08
You should have responded to those Epstein emails.
► 00:20:11
There's an app for it now called Tug or something.
► 00:20:14
I think so.
► 00:20:15
Don't ruin it for everybody.
► 00:20:16
No, I'm saying Tug.
► 00:20:17
Get on it.
► 00:20:18
Somebody told me how to figure out which one of the handjob places, which one are real.
► 00:20:21
Epstein told me.
► 00:20:22
He goes, Huh?
► 00:20:28
You know the ones with locks in the door?
► 00:20:30
He goes, No business doesn't want you in there.
► 00:20:33
If you have to buzz in, they're like, hold on, I'll stop jerking.
► 00:20:36
There's a cop here.
► 00:20:37
My friend goes on a lunch break.
► 00:20:39
Like, it's pretty popular in New York.
► 00:20:40
Yeah, people are totally.
► 00:20:41
When I moved to Philly, every single person was like, yeah, that's normal.
► 00:20:44
Totally normal.
► 00:20:44
So, are the girls gross?
► 00:20:46
They're Asian.
► 00:20:47
I think there's a range.
► 00:20:49
And sometimes you get like a Ukrainian skank.
► 00:20:52
Skank.
► 00:20:53
Nice.
► 00:20:54
Fucking sick.
► 00:20:54
Say.
► 00:20:55
Yeah.
► 00:20:56
Could you imagine, though?
► 00:20:57
That's what a skank you are.
► 00:20:58
Have some respect for yourself, whore.
► 00:20:59
How many relationships would just completely dissolve if prostitution was 100% legal?
► 00:21:03
I think he has.
► 00:21:04
Well, I'll tell you, in Thailand, it pretty much is, and girls fuck on the first date.
► 00:21:09
Date?
► 00:21:09
You're taking them out?
► 00:21:10
No, not those.
► 00:21:11
Regular girls, because if I make you wait, you're just going to get a hooker.
► 00:21:14
Really?
► 00:21:15
So, like, I better put out.
► 00:21:16
I like that competition.
► 00:21:18
Well, they seem a little looser sexually anyway in Thailand.
► 00:21:21
Yeah.
► 00:21:22
You know, with the whole ladyboy thing.
► 00:21:24
Right.
► 00:21:24
They're pretty chill with everything.
► 00:21:25
Yeah, they're pretty relaxed, except for kicking the shit out of people.
► 00:21:29
They're really good at that.
► 00:21:30
They're really good at that.
► 00:21:31
It's weird.
► 00:21:32
Like, a laid-back society is so good at fucking people up and martial arts.
► 00:21:35
Right.
► 00:21:35
Do you ever look at ladyboys using their training?
► 00:21:38
Like before they turned into full ladyboys?
► 00:21:40
Pull it up.
► 00:21:41
They trained kickboxing.
► 00:21:42
What, ladyboys do Muay Thai too?
► 00:21:44
When they were younger.
► 00:21:44
Goddamn.
► 00:21:45
There was one famous one who transitioned to a woman but kept fighting men and started getting fucked up because now she didn't have any hormones anymore or balls.
► 00:21:55
And so she's just getting the shit kicked out of her as a girl when she was dominating as a guy.
Ladyboys and Martial Arts
00:05:20
► 00:22:00
Wow.
► 00:22:00
It was kind of sad.
► 00:22:01
Like the one thing that you're really good at other than sucking guys' dicks is fucking people up.
► 00:22:07
No, you can't do that.
► 00:22:09
No, I meant on the streets.
► 00:22:10
See, that's a guy.
► 00:22:11
I'm in on the streets.
► 00:22:12
Oh, wow.
► 00:22:13
Is it?
► 00:22:14
Yes, that's a guy.
► 00:22:16
I'm a ladyboy.
► 00:22:16
That's a guy dressed like a girl.
► 00:22:17
No, I'm in on the streets.
► 00:22:19
Like, if you pick on one of the streets, they all come after you, but then they use it training.
► 00:22:22
Oh, yeah.
► 00:22:23
So they gang up and kick the box the shit out of you.
► 00:22:25
And you're like, I just wanted to beat up a hooker.
► 00:22:28
Why are these half men coming at me?
► 00:22:31
These dainty, dainty men.
► 00:22:33
All right, you need a drink.
► 00:22:34
I got one.
► 00:22:35
Oh, okay.
► 00:22:35
Sorry, I'm going to take a cut.
► 00:22:36
Hey, hey.
► 00:22:37
We're back.
► 00:22:38
This is comedy, baby.
► 00:22:39
We're back.
► 00:22:39
The parks are being saved.
► 00:22:41
Dude, all over Latin America, anytime I got recognized, they'd be like, They'd be like, when are we going to get another Protect Our Parks?
► 00:22:47
I'm like, I'm not really in the area right now.
► 00:22:50
As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll let them know.
► 00:22:53
Yeah, I would get questions from people.
► 00:22:55
It was always that.
► 00:22:57
When's the next Protect Our Parks?
► 00:22:59
Anytime I run into someone somewhere, globally too.
► 00:23:02
Australia, I got it.
► 00:23:03
New Zealand, I got it.
► 00:23:04
It's all over.
► 00:23:05
It is fun, though, when somebody like last week, somebody's like, when's the next?
► 00:23:07
I was like, April 30th.
► 00:23:09
They're like, what?
► 00:23:10
Yeah.
► 00:23:11
I'm like, keep it quiet.
► 00:23:13
Yeah.
► 00:23:13
I did that.
► 00:23:14
Yeah.
► 00:23:14
It's very fun.
► 00:23:16
The world needs us.
► 00:23:17
Oh, yeah.
► 00:23:18
It's good to be back.
► 00:23:18
Goofy ass fake fucking world out there.
► 00:23:22
Can't believe how many we've done.
► 00:23:23
Cannons.
► 00:23:24
Cannons, cool.
► 00:23:25
We got that going for you.
► 00:23:26
I want to talk to that guy.
► 00:23:28
I want to find out what really happened.
► 00:23:30
Interview that Indian fella.
► 00:23:31
Because apparently they're saying he got fired.
► 00:23:33
Is that what the story is, Jamie?
► 00:23:34
He got fired?
► 00:23:35
Then he just made a public post on your boss try to fuck you anymore?
► 00:23:39
Not anymore.
► 00:23:41
It all changed.
► 00:23:42
I think it was a lawsuit that was filed.
► 00:23:45
I'm not saying that the lawsuit is fake.
► 00:23:47
Real estate.
► 00:23:48
It's horseshit, is what people are saying.
► 00:23:50
Does the lady still work there?
► 00:23:52
I believe what I read was that JP Morgan investigated, didn't find it credible, and she still works.
► 00:23:57
That doesn't seem like a guy.
► 00:23:59
If that was a guy, I don't think.
► 00:24:02
We're going to put you on leave while we look this up.
► 00:24:04
100%.
► 00:24:05
And then, like, Trevor Bauer, like, oh, he found out it's fake.
► 00:24:08
Like, can I get my job back?
► 00:24:09
They're like, nah.
► 00:24:10
Trevor Bauer?
► 00:24:11
He works for the Long Island Ducks.
► 00:24:12
Trevor Bauer is a Cy Young, the highest award for a pitcher.
► 00:24:16
Phenom.
► 00:24:17
He got some chick, pretty much told all their friends, like, I'm going to go get money out of that guy.
► 00:24:21
Yep.
► 00:24:22
We got the text message.
► 00:24:23
Yeah, he kind of proved it all.
► 00:24:25
But Dodgers, was it Dodgers?
► 00:24:26
I don't remember.
► 00:24:27
It was like, hey, you can't work there anymore.
► 00:24:29
He was never the Brewers.
► 00:24:31
Brewers?
► 00:24:31
No, I don't remember.
► 00:24:32
Moved to Japan.
► 00:24:33
Moved to Japan, tried to pitch there.
► 00:24:34
And he's like, I'm good.
► 00:24:35
He told MLB, he goes, I'll pitch for free.
► 00:24:38
And I'm a Cy Young winner.
► 00:24:39
And everyone's like, eh.
► 00:24:41
That's crazy.
► 00:24:41
Lost $300 million.
► 00:24:42
Yeah.
► 00:24:43
Now he's playing for the minors in Long Island.
► 00:24:46
He loves playing.
► 00:24:46
Oh, my God.
► 00:24:47
Yeah.
► 00:24:49
And what happened to her?
► 00:24:50
I think she got like a slap on the wrist.
► 00:24:52
Yeah, I think she was like, he was like, don't come after me anymore.
► 00:24:54
Don't come after anybody else anymore.
► 00:24:55
That's it?
► 00:24:56
She did photos with black eyes.
► 00:24:57
She got makeup done.
► 00:24:58
He beat me up.
► 00:24:59
He beat the shit out of me.
► 00:25:00
It was all made up.
► 00:25:02
It's a crazy story.
► 00:25:03
Monsters out there.
► 00:25:04
Crazy.
► 00:25:04
Crazy.
► 00:25:05
But the crazier thing is, like, if it is a Dodgers, say it is, to not go, hey, dude, we were fooled.
► 00:25:11
I'm sorry.
► 00:25:11
Yeah.
► 00:25:12
Here's your contract back.
► 00:25:13
He should sue them for that.
► 00:25:14
How old is he now, though?
► 00:25:15
He's lost years of his career.
► 00:25:16
Yeah.
► 00:25:17
It's already over, right?
► 00:25:18
Yeah.
► 00:25:19
He's still great.
► 00:25:20
He just pitched a no hitter.
► 00:25:21
Really?
► 00:25:22
Yeah.
► 00:25:22
He's playing against nine-year-olds.
► 00:25:27
Oh, that's exciting.
► 00:25:28
How old is he, Jamie?
► 00:25:29
35.
► 00:25:32
That's crazy because, like, when it all happened with him.
► 00:25:35
Yeah, he's 35.
► 00:25:36
He's 35 now.
► 00:25:37
It was about eight or nine years ago, wasn't it?
► 00:25:40
2020?
► 00:25:41
2021 is when he was suspended.
► 00:25:43
Five years ago, he was suspended.
► 00:25:44
So he lost his prime.
► 00:25:45
30 to 35.
► 00:25:46
That's prime.
► 00:25:47
Ruined his life.
► 00:25:47
He had just won the Cy Young.
► 00:25:49
He's just won it.
► 00:25:51
Wow.
► 00:25:51
Brutal.
► 00:25:54
Oh, my God.
► 00:25:54
Oh, my God.
► 00:25:55
All she gets is a slap on the wrist?
► 00:25:57
Crazy.
► 00:25:57
He's pretty much like, go away.
► 00:25:59
She violated some part of the settlement and had to pay him 300 grand.
► 00:26:04
Oh, great.
► 00:26:05
That'll cover his fucking monthly whatever.
► 00:26:07
Yeah.
► 00:26:08
His Zin.
► 00:26:10
Jesus Christ.
► 00:26:11
That's a couple zins out of it.
► 00:26:13
She only got fined 300 grand.
► 00:26:15
She cost him 300 million.
► 00:26:16
Exactly.
► 00:26:17
Oh my God, that's crazy.
► 00:26:19
Whatever you accuse someone of, if it's fake, you should get that punishment.
► 00:26:23
Or you're trying to get that punishment.
► 00:26:24
No, I completely agree.
► 00:26:24
Yeah, absolutely.
► 00:26:26
That's never the case, though.
► 00:26:28
Well, she can't play for the Dodgers.
► 00:26:31
Who was he with?
► 00:26:32
That's the thing that bothered me about this.
► 00:26:34
It was the Dodgers?
► 00:26:34
Yeah, when that happened.
► 00:26:35
Fake sports fan.
► 00:26:36
But on a bunch of teams, though.
► 00:26:37
Why did I think it was the Brewers?
► 00:26:38
Because it was last name?
► 00:26:39
Bauer.
► 00:26:39
Bauer Brewer.
► 00:26:40
Yeah.
► 00:26:41
So, if he went to jail for it, that's what she should go to jail for.
► 00:26:44
Because if she's accusing him of sexual assault.
► 00:26:47
He was, I think she was just suing him, suing him.
► 00:26:49
And then public, whatever.
► 00:26:53
Destruction of reputation.
► 00:26:54
Yeah.
► 00:26:55
Oh, my God.
► 00:26:56
That's so awful.
► 00:26:57
Poor guy.
► 00:26:57
You should have him on.
► 00:26:58
I would.
► 00:26:59
That'd be a great convo.
► 00:27:00
Yeah, that'd be a convo.
► 00:27:00
Oh, happy son.
► 00:27:01
He's also, I think, pretty funny.
► 00:27:03
No way.
► 00:27:04
Bro, you've got to get a sense of humor after that.
► 00:27:06
If you survive that, you survive that, I bet you have a wicked sense of humor.
► 00:27:09
Planted Japan where they all have tiny strike zones.
► 00:27:11
Yeah.
► 00:27:12
That's one thing I think we could all attest to.
► 00:27:14
It's not the only thing.
► 00:27:15
You survive a cancellation, you come out of the other end just a little bit more funny.
► 00:27:19
Yeah, a little funny.
► 00:27:20
Nothing really bad.
Roger Waters Sober October
00:08:34
► 00:27:21
A little more pop.
► 00:27:22
A little more pop to the punchlines.
► 00:27:25
He's throwing 102 in Japan.
► 00:27:26
Look at Kanye.
► 00:27:28
How many kilometers an hour is that?
► 00:27:31
Kanye recovers from getting canceled to have the biggest concerts in human history.
► 00:27:35
Yeah, so far.
► 00:27:36
Standing on top of the world with clouds.
► 00:27:38
Bill Cosby must be amazing right now.
► 00:27:42
He's blind, though.
► 00:27:42
He can't read his notes.
► 00:27:44
Oh, it's tough to read off a teleprompter.
► 00:27:46
You're a blind comic.
► 00:27:47
I don't think he ever read anyway.
► 00:27:48
I think he was all in his memory anyway.
► 00:27:50
I don't even know if he writes or if he just sits down and comes up with his stories because he's like a story guy.
► 00:27:57
Yeah.
► 00:27:57
Yeah.
► 00:27:58
He is pretty good.
► 00:27:59
I heard an album.
► 00:28:00
It was like, it really paints a picture, but then you're like, then you listen to like Kennison and you're like, oh, this guy, Cosby, is very slow.
► 00:28:05
Yeah.
► 00:28:06
But it's a different style.
► 00:28:07
It's like listening to, you know, John Denver versus Metallica.
► 00:28:11
You can't, you know.
► 00:28:12
Solid comparison.
► 00:28:13
Yeah.
► 00:28:14
You got to be in the mood.
► 00:28:15
Yeah.
► 00:28:15
Both good.
► 00:28:15
Rocky Mountain High or Doom, Do That is the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
► 00:28:31
We're going to watch it again.
► 00:28:32
We'll do it.
► 00:28:33
Fuck yeah.
► 00:28:34
Norman, don't be scared of the.
► 00:28:35
It's going to be a loop of that shit.
► 00:28:37
Fine.
► 00:28:38
That's fine.
► 00:28:39
People have to listen to the song in a year.
► 00:28:41
It's a yearly reminder.
► 00:28:42
We're going to close out with a live free bird from 77.
► 00:28:45
Fuck you.
► 00:28:46
Did you give me a beer?
► 00:28:50
Here it is.
► 00:28:51
Look at this.
► 00:28:52
Oh, God.
► 00:28:52
We're doing it again.
► 00:28:53
We're back.
► 00:28:54
Come on.
► 00:28:54
Cameo, why'd you do that?
► 00:28:55
Deja Jew.
► 00:28:57
Imagine how pumped these people are.
► 00:28:59
Communism is dead for a little bit.
► 00:29:01
And then.
► 00:29:01
Metallica's on stage.
► 00:29:03
It's so sad that rock is dead.
► 00:29:05
We were talking about that.
► 00:29:06
Yeah, it's all queefy now.
► 00:29:07
When was the last time?
► 00:29:08
Where's the new rock bands?
► 00:29:10
The new Zeppelin.
► 00:29:11
Watch out for a while.
► 00:29:13
There's some of these smaller bands.
► 00:29:15
Right, but where's the big ones?
► 00:29:16
It used to be Van Halen.
► 00:29:17
It used to be the biggest part of music.
► 00:29:20
Rolling Stones.
► 00:29:21
Shred.
► 00:29:22
ACDC.
► 00:29:23
I know.
► 00:29:24
I mean, Aerosmith.
► 00:29:25
It used to be the biggest part of music, was rock and roll.
► 00:29:29
What the fuck?
► 00:29:30
That's kind of crazy.
► 00:29:32
Nice.
► 00:29:32
Bodega cat, ladies and gentlemen.
► 00:29:34
And a variable at fine bodegas all across Manhattan.
► 00:29:36
You got that right, Fatty.
► 00:29:37
Get a bottle.
► 00:29:38
But yeah, now it's country.
► 00:29:40
Country's huge, man.
► 00:29:40
Country's huge.
► 00:29:41
Which is fine, but what happened to rock?
► 00:29:43
I know we know about rock.
► 00:29:44
I love country.
► 00:29:45
I have no problem with country getting huge.
► 00:29:46
Yeah, what happened to rock?
► 00:29:47
What happened to rock?
► 00:29:48
Who are the biggest.
► 00:29:50
They said garage bands are coming back with kids, which means nature is healing.
► 00:29:56
Yeah.
► 00:29:57
That's a good sign.
► 00:29:58
Yeah, kids are tired of playing video games and want something real.
► 00:30:00
But the thing that doesn't make sense about rock music is everybody still loves it.
► 00:30:06
Right.
► 00:30:07
Everybody still plays covers.
► 00:30:08
I'm not even making it.
► 00:30:09
Oasis is doing giant arenas all over the place.
► 00:30:12
But they're playing old songs.
► 00:30:13
I took acid at that Oasis concert.
► 00:30:14
Really?
► 00:30:15
Which one?
► 00:30:16
Where'd you go?
► 00:30:16
MKUltra?
► 00:30:17
Chicago.
► 00:30:17
Chicago.
► 00:30:18
I got MKUltra.
► 00:30:19
Yeah.
► 00:30:19
I was just watching the concert.
► 00:30:21
I was like, oh, shit.
► 00:30:22
How fun is music on acid?
► 00:30:24
It's the best.
► 00:30:25
See, I've never done acid since college.
► 00:30:27
I go shroom now.
► 00:30:28
Acid.
► 00:30:29
That's responsible.
► 00:30:31
It'll get away from me.
► 00:30:31
Grateful Dead's entire career.
► 00:30:33
I see how it worked.
► 00:30:34
I mean, apparently, if you listen to The Dead on acid, it's a totally different thing.
► 00:30:38
They were playing acid.
► 00:30:39
Too acid.
► 00:30:40
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:30:40
Like, they weren't playing for you to not like it on acid.
► 00:30:42
You're supposed to, like, if you guys are acid, let me entertain you for a second.
► 00:30:45
Yeah, you're supposed to be on acid.
► 00:30:47
It's like those ayahuasca eco rows.
► 00:30:50
You listen to them normally, they're not that interesting.
► 00:30:51
But if you come up in on DMT, they're pretty fucking incredible.
► 00:30:54
I got some of Roger Water.
► 00:30:55
We were doing a podcast here, me, Scorin, and Bert, and you, and then you're like, what are you doing tomorrow?
► 00:30:59
Are you going to stay?
► 00:31:00
Roger Water's just playing.
► 00:31:00
I was like, oh, I got to, this is so funny.
► 00:31:02
I was like, I got to leave.
► 00:31:03
He goes, why?
► 00:31:04
I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't know.
► 00:31:06
But I'm like, but my hotel, I have to check out tomorrow.
► 00:31:09
He goes, extended.
► 00:31:11
You were my personal guest, Roger Waters.
► 00:31:13
Change R.A.'s flight to the next day.
► 00:31:14
And I was like, yeah, all right.
► 00:31:15
But then it was like, I got to find acid on one day's notice.
► 00:31:19
Yeah.
► 00:31:19
You got to shout out Roger Waters because he was way ahead of everybody calling out the genocide.
► 00:31:24
Way ahead of his time.
► 00:31:25
He was doing it a long time ago.
► 00:31:26
A long time ago, calling out how they're treating the Palestinians.
► 00:31:29
He even really got kicked up.
► 00:31:30
He's a little frosty with the heaves, though, is he not?
► 00:31:32
He got frosty with me.
► 00:31:33
Oh, there you go.
► 00:31:34
He got frosty with you.
► 00:31:35
He was living at me.
► 00:31:37
You were fucking with him.
► 00:31:39
He was on acid and he was fucking with them after the show.
► 00:31:42
We were all hanging out and Roger was drinking.
► 00:31:44
This was sober October.
► 00:31:47
It was sober October.
► 00:31:47
We had a one day permission to do one thing.
► 00:31:49
Exemption.
► 00:31:51
Come on, guys.
► 00:31:52
I'll give you guys each a drink if you let me do one piece of paper.
► 00:31:55
I chose the devil's cabbage.
► 00:31:56
I was scared of the acid because who knows where it came from.
► 00:31:59
Sure.
► 00:31:59
Like, Ari, I got a business to run.
► 00:32:00
I can't go crazy right now.
► 00:32:02
I did some.
► 00:32:03
Tony's ex did some.
► 00:32:05
And I remember we were back at the hotel and I was looking at this picture and I was like, damn, this is a crazy video.
► 00:32:09
Ari is full on weeping in the middle of the concert.
► 00:32:13
Full on falling.
► 00:32:14
This is amazing.
► 00:32:16
He came up and sat next to me and I'm like, what's wrong with Ari?
► 00:32:22
He's freaking out.
► 00:32:23
I'm like, dude, are you okay?
► 00:32:25
I was not okay.
► 00:32:26
He didn't even know what the dose was.
► 00:32:28
He just took whatever the guy gave him.
► 00:32:29
It was fresh.
► 00:32:30
I had to let it dry in the AC of the concert.
► 00:32:32
Car over there.
► 00:32:32
I'd hold it on the bed and let it dry some.
► 00:32:35
It was like blotted paper.
► 00:32:37
Blotted, yeah.
► 00:32:37
Whoa.
► 00:32:39
It was so good.
► 00:32:40
See, that's the thing with that?
► 00:32:41
You don't know when it's going to end.
► 00:32:42
You don't know where it came from.
► 00:32:43
Also, you don't really know when it's going to start.
► 00:32:45
I took a little and I was like, shit's not working.
► 00:32:47
Give me another one.
► 00:32:49
Oh, boy, that old move.
► 00:32:51
I stared at a painting in my hotel room for 12 hours.
► 00:32:53
You know how many guys have ruined their fucking entire life by doing that with edibles?
► 00:32:58
Yes.
► 00:32:58
Gotten that second one.
► 00:32:59
I don't feel shit.
► 00:33:01
They took that second one and then they can't escape.
► 00:33:03
This is how the story starts.
► 00:33:04
Yeah, every time you're like, maybe I'll take the other half.
► 00:33:06
And they roll right into schizophrenia land.
► 00:33:09
Hey.
► 00:33:10
Maybe your mom's not really your mom.
► 00:33:12
Early years of comedy, I pitched a show and Lionsgate picked it up.
► 00:33:17
And they flew me out to LA to pitch the show to Netflix and Amazon.
► 00:33:20
It was the biggest deal of my life.
► 00:33:22
And the night before, I did Tripoli's show.
► 00:33:25
And he gives you a bag of weed stuff, you know?
► 00:33:27
And I was like, I can't do weed.
► 00:33:29
I'm a wuss.
► 00:33:29
I'm a lightweight.
► 00:33:30
And he goes, Well, take some CBD.
► 00:33:31
And I go, Oh, okay, I'll do that.
► 00:33:33
I wanted to get some sleep.
► 00:33:34
So I chugged a bottle of CBD, and it was THC.
► 00:33:38
I woke up.
► 00:33:38
The bed was vertical.
► 00:33:39
I was hanging on to the post.
► 00:33:41
I don't know you're going to take it.
► 00:33:42
It felt like the carpet was sinking with me.
► 00:33:44
I was holding onto a chair.
► 00:33:46
I skipped it.
► 00:33:47
I couldn't go.
► 00:33:48
It was too high.
► 00:33:48
I was high for like 14 hours.
► 00:33:50
Oh, yeah.
► 00:33:50
I was about to catch you.
► 00:33:51
You should have went.
► 00:33:52
My manager's like shaking me, like, you got to go.
► 00:33:54
And I'm like, I can't do it.
► 00:33:55
I can't face it.
► 00:33:56
It was like Lee Syatt.
► 00:33:57
That was so funny.
► 00:33:58
You should have went.
► 00:33:59
Oh, God.
► 00:34:00
I would have sold a little bit.
► 00:34:00
I would have shoved my hand up your ass and operated you like a puppet.
► 00:34:04
I would have made you go.
► 00:34:05
I would have sold like Duncan Trussell's show if I showed up.
► 00:34:10
But I couldn't face him, and he would like, I think they'd drop me after the week.
► 00:34:13
Duncan is the absolute best at saying, like, fucking around.
► 00:34:16
Like, he was going, Hold on, I just got a text from my wife's boyfriend.
► 00:34:21
How's he doing?
► 00:34:22
Not good.
► 00:34:23
Turns out he's got syphilis.
► 00:34:24
Poor guy.
► 00:34:25
I hope he gets better.
► 00:34:27
Just casual.
► 00:34:28
There's nothing worse than getting that high, though.
► 00:34:30
Like, McCusker used to make weed gummies when we lived together.
► 00:34:33
He would make homemade gummies.
► 00:34:34
Wow.
► 00:34:35
He would, like, try to make gummies.
► 00:34:36
It was crazy.
► 00:34:37
And then I'd just be sitting there playing Xbox, and he'd be like, Here, take some of these.
► 00:34:41
And I'd just try them out.
► 00:34:43
But one time he left.
► 00:34:44
I did a show at a casino outside of Philly.
► 00:34:46
He gave me a bag of gummy bears.
► 00:34:48
Obviously, I got fucking hammered.
► 00:34:50
And I was just in my hotel room, just ate them.
► 00:34:53
I just ate as many as I could.
► 00:34:54
Did you know that they were pot gummy bears?
► 00:34:56
I just think they were pot gummy bears.
► 00:34:57
I did.
► 00:34:57
But you can't stop it.
► 00:34:58
I was hammered.
► 00:34:58
I was like, no, no.
► 00:34:59
Gummy bears.
► 00:35:00
They're so good.
► 00:35:01
I just killed that fucking hotel lobby.
► 00:35:03
That was great.
► 00:35:05
And then I woke up and it was in a casino with no, my room had no windows.
► 00:35:08
It was in the fucking basement.
► 00:35:10
And I didn't know my buddy was also, I was like, you sleep in my room.
► 00:35:13
He was on the floor.
► 00:35:14
He was this kid that opened for me in the morning.
► 00:35:17
I woke up and I was still high as fuck.
► 00:35:18
And I was just like, ah, ah.
► 00:35:22
In the darkness, I hear somebody like, Shane?
► 00:35:24
I was like, ah.
► 00:35:25
That's like waking up high is wild.
► 00:35:28
Wake up high sucks.
► 00:35:29
I was like, who's it?
► 00:35:30
Who's in here?
► 00:35:32
You remember the days where Joey Diaz would have people in the church of what's happening now and he would swap out the 25 milligram animals for 250s?
► 00:35:40
He did it to me.
► 00:35:40
There's like a package like this, whatever.
► 00:35:43
And I see it, it says 25.
► 00:35:44
I'm like, you know what?
► 00:35:45
I'm a 10 guy, but.
► 00:35:47
When I'm with Duyas, I'll go 25.
► 00:35:49
And then I ate it, but then something nags in your head.
► 00:35:51
You're like, why was it 20?
► 00:35:52
It was like, why was it open?
► 00:35:54
Why was it tilted a little?
Waking Up High
00:15:27
► 00:35:55
Right.
► 00:35:55
And then I was just like, kept talking, and I was like, picked it off, and you just see 250.
► 00:35:59
Oh.
► 00:36:00
You're like, Joey.
► 00:36:01
Oh.
► 00:36:01
You killed me.
► 00:36:02
Oh, he would give Lee Sayat 500s.
► 00:36:04
He would give him 2,500.
► 00:36:06
We just got Lee again.
► 00:36:07
We did a 420 episode, and Lee was like, oh, yeah, back to that.
► 00:36:12
Indy 500.
► 00:36:12
500 milligrams?
► 00:36:13
Yeah.
► 00:36:14
It's crazy, dude.
► 00:36:14
It blows.
► 00:36:15
You know what's crazy?
► 00:36:16
JMO, Jamie can do 1,000 and it barely hits him.
► 00:36:19
Shut up.
► 00:36:19
Is that true?
► 00:36:19
Give him a body fat.
► 00:36:20
No, no, no.
► 00:36:21
He's got some weird enzyme.
► 00:36:22
You got to go with a slice of pizza or something.
► 00:36:24
Doesn't work on everything, man.
► 00:36:25
Wow.
► 00:36:25
Okay, fair.
► 00:36:26
Damn.
► 00:36:27
Yeah, it just doesn't work with his spectrum.
► 00:36:29
Yeah, anything more than 10 milligrams.
► 00:36:30
Some people, every once in a while.
► 00:36:31
His super brain just shuts it off.
► 00:36:32
Like, nope, not interested.
► 00:36:34
Bye.
► 00:36:34
Wow.
► 00:36:35
Mine does not, dude.
► 00:36:36
If I take 10 milligrams, I'm like, oh.
► 00:36:38
Same.
► 00:36:39
Well, the UFCs are always great.
► 00:36:40
We take like 50 in just like six hours.
► 00:36:42
Well, you guys took acid at the UFC guys.
► 00:36:45
We were up in the bat seats, so we took acid.
► 00:36:47
Me, Red Band, and Diaz.
► 00:36:49
And then Rogan, it was kind of early on.
► 00:36:51
And Rogan's like, where are you guys?
► 00:36:52
We're like, we're up there, and he's like, seeing us.
► 00:36:53
Like, are you guys flying?
► 00:36:54
We're like, we're fucked Dude, half of my day was thinking about them being on acid watching these crazy fights.
► 00:37:02
I can imagine so it made me jealous.
► 00:37:04
It felt like college fun, yeah.
► 00:37:06
Forrest Griffin came in and everyone's cheering.
► 00:37:08
I'm like, Why are you cheering?
► 00:37:09
You might get hurt.
► 00:37:10
This is like 2005, then, yeah.
► 00:37:13
Imagine seeing Brock Lesnar on acid, he's terrified, bro.
► 00:37:17
He's a warrior, that guy, bro, like a Viking.
► 00:37:20
You ever see his daughter?
► 00:37:21
His daughter's a champion shot putter, yeah.
► 00:37:24
What, no, what do you see?
► 00:37:26
She's a no athlete.
► 00:37:29
Oh, shot put.
► 00:37:30
She throws that iron gear.
► 00:37:32
What do you think?
► 00:37:33
He thought I was shooting a gun.
► 00:37:34
Bro, she's like a fucking no.
► 00:37:37
You got to see her.
► 00:37:38
It's definitely related.
► 00:37:39
Watch her.
► 00:37:39
Yeah, 100%.
► 00:37:40
It was Hulk Hogan.
► 00:37:41
But watch the video.
► 00:37:43
See if you can find a video of her throwing it.
► 00:37:45
Mark's talking shit, Mark.
► 00:37:47
Mark's talking shit.
► 00:37:48
She's a beautiful, sturdy lady.
► 00:37:49
Mark's talking shit.
► 00:37:50
I agree with Shane.
► 00:37:51
I have nothing but respect for you and your family.
► 00:37:53
Oh, is she Albinian?
► 00:37:55
She's a Viking woman.
► 00:37:56
I know you do.
► 00:37:56
Look at this.
► 00:37:57
Whoa.
► 00:37:58
Pale honky.
► 00:37:59
Bro, that's crazy.
► 00:38:00
Imagine blowing your shoulder out trying to fucking throw that thing.
► 00:38:02
Woo, wee.
► 00:38:03
Imagine her grabbing your balls.
► 00:38:05
Hachi Machi.
► 00:38:07
Don't go over the line.
► 00:38:08
Don't go over the line.
► 00:38:09
Make a warrior with those jeans.
► 00:38:11
Yes.
► 00:38:11
You're proud Buffalo.
► 00:38:12
What's the mom look like, huh?
► 00:38:14
She's hot.
► 00:38:15
She's just a tank.
► 00:38:17
She's a pro wrestler.
► 00:38:18
She's a fucking transformer.
► 00:38:20
She's a bulldozer.
► 00:38:24
She's Optimus Prime.
► 00:38:25
Get the mom up.
► 00:38:26
The mom is hot.
► 00:38:27
Oh, yeah.
► 00:38:28
She got all Brock's jeans.
► 00:38:30
That's the mom.
► 00:38:30
Whoa!
► 00:38:32
Sable at Lahore.
► 00:38:34
That's right.
► 00:38:35
Whoa!
► 00:38:35
That's the wife.
► 00:38:36
Sable was.
► 00:38:36
So hot.
► 00:38:37
That's what I'm talking about.
► 00:38:38
The puppies.
► 00:38:39
But, bro, look at his jeans.
► 00:38:41
Those jeans dominate.
► 00:38:42
Nice cannons.
► 00:38:43
Those are Viking jeans.
► 00:38:44
That's what Iceland looks the way it is.
► 00:38:46
Viking jeans.
► 00:38:47
Oh, is that them now?
► 00:38:48
Yeah.
► 00:38:49
Oh, hell yeah.
► 00:38:49
She's 10 years older than them.
► 00:38:50
She looks able.
► 00:38:51
She looks great.
► 00:38:52
She's got a bit of a bulge, though, on the right.
► 00:38:54
That's her hands.
► 00:38:55
Oh, God.
► 00:38:55
Her hands are in her body.
► 00:38:56
She's still really risking it with.
► 00:38:58
I love you, Brock.
► 00:38:59
Brock Lesnar's going to fucking kill you.
► 00:39:00
He's going to Viking you.
► 00:39:01
He doesn't care.
► 00:39:02
Brock and roll.
► 00:39:03
He's writing your name down with crayons right now.
► 00:39:08
He's got that sword tattoo right here.
► 00:39:10
It's just A real warrior.
► 00:39:11
Yeah, he said he got drunk and didn't remember it and woke up.
► 00:39:14
I was like, what the fuck did I do?
► 00:39:16
Yeah.
► 00:39:16
You just regret it.
► 00:39:18
That's a lame tattoo.
► 00:39:19
You just regret it.
► 00:39:20
For sure.
► 00:39:21
For sure.
► 00:39:21
Well, Steve O's got a dick on his forehead.
► 00:39:23
Yeah, but that's for fun.
► 00:39:25
Yeah.
► 00:39:25
He's got tattoos on an ATV.
► 00:39:28
He was on the podcast, and it was like the first couple of minutes, and I was like, Do you have a dick tattooed above your eyebrows?
► 00:39:34
Yeah.
► 00:39:35
What?
► 00:39:36
I've done his pod.
► 00:39:37
I didn't notice that.
► 00:39:38
Good impression.
► 00:39:39
It must be new.
► 00:39:40
I miss it.
► 00:39:41
Yeah.
► 00:39:41
It's pretty new.
► 00:39:43
He was on a few months ago.
► 00:39:44
Yeah.
► 00:39:44
J Mo.
► 00:39:45
Not even.
► 00:39:45
New jackass coming next month.
► 00:39:47
Yeah, look.
► 00:39:48
Oh, man.
► 00:39:49
What a lunatic.
► 00:39:51
Wow.
► 00:39:52
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that.
► 00:39:52
Post Malone tattooed him?
► 00:39:54
Post Malone tattooed his dick.
► 00:39:56
He's got a straight tattoo artist.
► 00:39:58
Well, I don't think he has to be trained.
► 00:40:00
Dick's got quite a curve.
► 00:40:02
Are there rules?
► 00:40:03
He might actually know.
► 00:40:04
Are there any rules as to who can do a tattoo?
► 00:40:08
I don't think so.
► 00:40:09
If you're a surge or whatever and have a business, yeah.
► 00:40:12
You could just do it, though.
► 00:40:14
Do one to your friend?
► 00:40:15
I saw fear.
► 00:40:16
You could just do it with pen.
► 00:40:17
Interesting.
► 00:40:18
Huh.
► 00:40:19
Interesting.
► 00:40:20
Steve O's a good egg.
► 00:40:21
He's a fun dude.
► 00:40:22
Steve O rules.
► 00:40:23
He's a fun dude.
► 00:40:23
Jackass rules.
► 00:40:24
New jackass.
► 00:40:24
I was so excited when I heard.
► 00:40:26
It was like.
► 00:40:27
Oh, they're doing another one?
► 00:40:28
June.
► 00:40:29
Oh!
► 00:40:29
He played a bunch of the scenes where Knoxville did too, them all getting concussions.
► 00:40:34
And I was like, I asked Knoxville how many times he'd been out.
► 00:40:37
He's like, at least 16.
► 00:40:39
Wow.
► 00:40:39
16 times.
► 00:40:40
Out cold.
► 00:40:41
It's funny when one of them gets Reddit rapped for not going hard enough, like Knoxville did once, and he goes, fine.
► 00:40:47
I'll step up and I'll literally blow a ball off.
► 00:40:50
Oh, man.
► 00:40:50
And then Danger had one where he's like, I'll be the one this time.
► 00:40:53
Knoxville always went so hard.
► 00:40:56
Yeah, it was bad feedback.
► 00:40:58
But they were like, you're protecting your face too much.
► 00:41:00
It was like, all right, I'll show you.
► 00:41:02
I asked We Man, I was like, who got PTSD this time?
► 00:41:04
He was like, England.
► 00:41:06
England's fucked forever now.
► 00:41:07
Oh, yeah.
► 00:41:08
What?
► 00:41:08
Why?
► 00:41:09
Because they put him in horrible situations.
► 00:41:11
What are they doing?
► 00:41:12
I don't know.
► 00:41:12
I'm waiting to find out.
► 00:41:14
What, Jamie?
► 00:41:14
Are you talking about this one?
► 00:41:15
Because the last one they got him.
► 00:41:16
No, they got Danger Air last time bad with the bear and shit, where you could tell he's like, this is never going to leave.
► 00:41:21
And the fucking donkey in the one, that was terrifying.
► 00:41:24
Donkey.
► 00:41:25
He just walked up behind when the goal was to get him.
► 00:41:28
Fucked.
► 00:41:28
It's a kick.
► 00:41:29
Nuts.
► 00:41:29
He has to stand behind him.
► 00:41:31
He's just behind him, like shaking, and they're all making fun of him.
► 00:41:33
And the donkey kicked him?
► 00:41:35
Yeah, got him right in the balls.
► 00:41:35
Hard.
► 00:41:36
Oh, my God, dude.
► 00:41:38
They had him get into a room.
► 00:41:39
He obviously knew something was happening.
► 00:41:41
He knew something's up.
► 00:41:42
He just can't be.
► 00:41:43
He looks great.
► 00:41:44
He does look pretty good.
► 00:41:45
Nice skin.
► 00:41:46
He's a full head of hair.
► 00:41:47
He's a handsome guy.
► 00:41:49
So he's in the room strapped to a table.
► 00:41:50
They're doing like an electric chair.
► 00:41:52
They're shocking him.
► 00:41:53
He's like, come on, stop.
► 00:41:54
It's annoying, but I get it.
► 00:41:56
And then what happens?
► 00:41:57
They cover him in honey.
► 00:41:59
Oh, no, Oh, and he's like, Is that meat?
► 00:42:09
Oh, God.
► 00:42:15
Oh, shit.
► 00:42:16
Something's opening.
► 00:42:22
He's got a chain on the bear.
► 00:42:25
Keep watching it.
► 00:42:27
The chain is probably just so they could pull him off.
► 00:42:30
Yeah.
► 00:42:31
Stay calm.
► 00:42:32
Oh, he's gonna lick him.
► 00:42:36
The chain's not attached to anything.
► 00:42:38
That's a good point.
► 00:42:38
Chain's free.
► 00:42:42
Oh, this is wild.
► 00:42:43
This is crazy.
► 00:42:46
Are you really allergic to bees, Aaron?
► 00:42:53
He's trembling.
► 00:42:54
And then they shock him.
► 00:42:55
What?
► 00:42:55
Shocking him.
► 00:42:56
I didn't even get the answer.
► 00:42:59
No, no.
► 00:43:01
All right, we can't really.
► 00:43:03
Oh, is that like salmon?
► 00:43:04
Oh my god.
► 00:43:07
Yeah, I think so.
► 00:43:09
Oh, this is crazy.
► 00:43:12
He's so frightened.
► 00:43:15
Oh, he's got the paw.
► 00:43:16
There's nothing more in there.
► 00:43:18
There is, though.
► 00:43:18
There's nothing more in there.
► 00:43:20
That's not so bad.
► 00:43:21
What if he just came?
► 00:43:22
That's kind of nice.
► 00:43:24
You see his pants get wet?
► 00:43:26
They fucked with him real bad, though.
► 00:43:28
This was.
► 00:43:30
Get him out, get him out.
► 00:43:31
So it's a trained bear.
► 00:43:32
Sort of, though, but it's a bear.
► 00:43:34
Yeah.
► 00:43:35
You know what's nice is Bam.
► 00:43:36
They let Bam back in the group.
► 00:43:38
Oh, good.
► 00:43:38
Oh, really?
► 00:43:39
He's in the next one.
► 00:43:40
I heard he's skating again.
► 00:43:41
Yeah.
► 00:43:42
Westchester, but he's.
► 00:43:43
Skip there.
► 00:43:44
So, what happened to him?
► 00:43:45
He just went off the rails.
► 00:43:46
Drugs, pills.
► 00:43:47
Yeah, filling stuff.
► 00:43:49
Now he's back.
► 00:43:50
He's back.
► 00:43:50
Nice.
► 00:43:51
Come back.
► 00:43:51
Let's go.
► 00:43:52
Bam rules.
► 00:43:53
There's a video I saw, and it was asking all the Jackass people who can skate.
► 00:43:57
And people were like, no, We Man's pretty good.
► 00:43:58
And then someone was like, no, Danger Aaron's pretty good.
► 00:44:00
And then it just starts the Chiron just going, it's Bam.
► 00:44:02
And then John Knoxville's like, I can go to Ollie.
► 00:44:05
It's Bam.
► 00:44:07
Bam was good.
► 00:44:07
I met him a bunch when I was going to college.
► 00:44:09
Really?
► 00:44:10
Yeah, I went to college in Westchester where they all were.
► 00:44:13
So, like, yeah, you'd see him around town.
► 00:44:15
He was just the nicest.
► 00:44:16
Yeah.
► 00:44:16
He was always just the man.
► 00:44:17
He owned that town, huh?
► 00:44:18
Oh, yeah.
► 00:44:19
You'd have a purple Lambo.
► 00:44:20
You'd see it.
► 00:44:22
It'd be at the fucking Wawa.
► 00:44:23
You'd be like, holy fuck, Bam's here.
► 00:44:25
Holy fuck.
► 00:44:26
Holy.
► 00:44:27
With his eyeliner.
► 00:44:28
Yeah.
► 00:44:28
I drove by Castle Bam.
► 00:44:31
You know the house they have?
► 00:44:32
Viva La Bam.
► 00:44:32
It was right where I lived when we were filming tires.
► 00:44:34
I lived right next to it, and I would occasionally just drive over and look at it.
► 00:44:37
Yeah.
► 00:44:38
Every kid's dreams skateboard shit in the back.
► 00:44:40
It's some trick that was off a bridge, onto a moving bus, and then off the bus onto the road.
► 00:44:46
I think you'd think of the video game.
► 00:44:48
Oh, I love the game.
► 00:44:50
Maybe, but no.
► 00:44:51
This was real.
► 00:44:52
Bam's dad got fucked pretty hard, though.
► 00:44:54
What happened?
► 00:44:54
Well, they were just punching him in the face for no reason.
► 00:44:57
Phil.
► 00:44:58
They were just going to wake him up and just start punching him in the face.
► 00:45:01
It was great.
► 00:45:02
Sweetest man on the planet.
► 00:45:03
Come on, man.
► 00:45:03
Cut it out.
► 00:45:04
I'm sleeping.
► 00:45:04
CKY.
► 00:45:04
Fucking real.
► 00:45:05
Crazy that those guys did that for so long.
► 00:45:08
Oh, yeah.
► 00:45:09
That seemed like a thing you could only do once.
► 00:45:12
Hell, they're still going.
► 00:45:13
Yeah, no worries.
► 00:45:14
The first places I ever did stand up and host my own show was his bar in Westchester.
► 00:45:18
Wow.
► 00:45:19
The note.
► 00:45:20
Like, how old did they?
► 00:45:21
Like, how old is Steve O?
► 00:45:22
It's.
► 00:45:23
He's got to be 50.
► 00:45:24
Yeah.
► 00:45:25
50.
► 00:45:26
Here, look with a.
► 00:45:28
What are you going to do to him?
► 00:45:31
Oh.
► 00:45:32
Oh, the dad finally gets his revenge.
► 00:45:34
He's hiding behind the door.
► 00:45:35
I thought he was going to beat him up.
► 00:45:39
Yeah.
► 00:45:40
That's all right.
► 00:45:40
Yeah.
► 00:45:40
Jackass rules.
► 00:45:41
Yeah.
► 00:45:42
Jackass is the best.
► 00:45:43
It's the best comedies.
► 00:45:44
That was a.
► 00:45:46
Just crazy that those guys made a career doing that.
► 00:45:48
Yeah.
► 00:45:48
Yeah.
► 00:45:48
Became famous just fucking each other up.
► 00:45:50
We all copied them.
► 00:45:51
Me and my friends were.
► 00:45:52
Outside, filming us jumping into trees off of Bruce and shit.
► 00:45:56
Totally.
► 00:45:56
We all were like, this is the coolest thing ever.
► 00:45:58
Yeah.
► 00:45:59
They were the first ones to be like, don't do this.
► 00:46:02
Anyway, that's the legal part.
► 00:46:03
Now watch and try to do it.
► 00:46:04
This shit's fun.
► 00:46:05
We're having a blast, though.
► 00:46:07
You should try it, but don't do it legally.
► 00:46:09
Yeah.
► 00:46:10
How is the new Fear Factor?
► 00:46:11
I know Knoxville's hosting.
► 00:46:12
Is it the new Fear Factor?
► 00:46:13
Knoxville's hosting.
► 00:46:13
I haven't seen it.
► 00:46:15
Knoxville, yeah.
► 00:46:16
He came on to promote it.
► 00:46:17
Yeah.
► 00:46:17
He was hosting the new Fear Factor.
► 00:46:19
It's very nice.
► 00:46:20
I love Jackass so much.
► 00:46:22
Yeah, me too.
► 00:46:22
He's a good dude.
► 00:46:24
Johnny Knoxville's a really nice guy.
► 00:46:25
Coolest.
► 00:46:26
Yeah.
► 00:46:26
Although his dick is broken.
► 00:46:27
That sucks.
► 00:46:28
I think it's fixed.
► 00:46:29
Oh, great.
► 00:46:30
I think they fixed it.
► 00:46:30
Fix that nowadays.
► 00:46:31
Just to pop it up.
► 00:46:32
Stem cells.
► 00:46:33
Everyone's getting them.
► 00:46:35
I got them.
► 00:46:36
Everyone's getting dicks these days, dude.
► 00:46:37
Wait, you got stem?
► 00:46:38
Yeah.
► 00:46:39
Whoa.
► 00:46:39
His knees.
► 00:46:40
What does that mean?
► 00:46:41
I don't know.
► 00:46:41
It's been one day.
► 00:46:42
I don't know.
► 00:46:42
How do you feel?
► 00:46:43
I feel fine.
► 00:46:44
Did you see that thing that I sent you today?
► 00:46:45
No.
► 00:46:46
I sent you an article with this video.
► 00:46:48
This lady is saying that the one operation that has the least amount of success and is the most unnecessary is meniscus operations.
► 00:46:55
Mmm.
► 00:46:56
I had one too.
► 00:46:57
I couldn't walk though.
► 00:46:58
What do you mean?
► 00:46:59
I had to do it.
► 00:46:59
They said rehabilitation is better.
► 00:47:01
Like keeping the tissue in there and rehabbing it is better than having it removed.
► 00:47:06
Interesting.
► 00:47:06
Yeah.
► 00:47:07
I don't know.
► 00:47:08
I had mine removed on my left leg.
► 00:47:10
Yeah.
► 00:47:11
But it does fuck with me more than my right leg.
► 00:47:12
And what'd you have on the right leg?
► 00:47:14
Just, I have a tear, a meniscus tear, but I just.
► 00:47:16
And you just left it?
► 00:47:17
Step-selled.
► 00:47:17
Yeah.
► 00:47:18
Tear-selled it.
► 00:47:19
I tore it doing a kicking contest with Joe Schilling.
► 00:47:23
Whoa.
► 00:47:23
With jeans on.
► 00:47:25
You're a jackass.
► 00:47:26
Jeans on.
► 00:47:26
That's what he's talking about.
► 00:47:27
He's totally jackass.
► 00:47:28
He just wanted to see who could kick harder.
► 00:47:30
Like, he heard I kick really hard.
► 00:47:31
He's a world champion kickboxer, so he wanted to kick this thing, and he wanted me to kick it.
► 00:47:34
I did it with jeans on.
► 00:47:36
What'd you do, a bag at the arcade?
► 00:47:38
We have this machine in the back.
► 00:47:39
A lot of tests.
► 00:47:39
You hit it, and it shows you.
► 00:47:41
You tore your meniscus on that?
► 00:47:42
Because you fucking rocked that.
► 00:47:44
With no warm up at all at 52 years old.
► 00:47:48
Just fucking slammed it.
► 00:47:49
Joe Shirley came in three hours early and stretching.
► 00:47:51
No, he didn't.
► 00:47:52
He did no warm up either.
► 00:47:54
That would be a great jackass.
► 00:47:55
Joe Rogan kicks you.
► 00:47:57
Yeah, that would be bad.
► 00:47:57
He had Butterbean punch him.
► 00:47:59
I saw that.
► 00:48:00
It's the hardest thing to watch, too.
► 00:48:01
Because he was already rocked and fucked up, and then Butterbean put him out.
► 00:48:04
And they're in like a Target or something.
► 00:48:05
Yeah, they go to a Bodega or something.
► 00:48:07
Yeah.
► 00:48:07
They have the crazy.
► 00:48:08
The extra level, though, is that it's not just somebody.
► 00:48:10
It's Butterbean punching you.
► 00:48:11
Or it's not just taking a slap shot.
► 00:48:13
It's somebody from the Predators fucking slap shotting it at your face.
► 00:48:16
Yeah.
► 00:48:18
Oh, that's right.
► 00:48:18
He had Francis and Gano punch him in the balls.
► 00:48:21
The cup test.
► 00:48:22
Oh, God.
► 00:48:22
They just kept telling him, like, your fighter's going to come today, and they didn't tell him it's Francis and Gano.
► 00:48:26
Oh, my God.
► 00:48:27
It's hilarious.
► 00:48:28
Oh, my God.
► 00:48:29
Oh, there he is.
► 00:48:31
This is mean.
► 00:48:32
I mean, this is too far.
► 00:48:34
I can't watch this.
► 00:48:35
Yeah, you can.
► 00:48:35
Watch it.
► 00:48:36
All right.
► 00:48:36
Let's watch it.
► 00:48:36
Watch this.
► 00:48:37
And Francis doesn't even hold back.
► 00:48:42
Oh, I mean, that's going to ruin your junk.
► 00:48:44
Oh, dude.
► 00:48:45
That kind of pain is crazy.
► 00:48:47
Also, that's a terrible cup.
► 00:48:48
That's a shitty cup.
► 00:48:49
No one should ever doubt danger ever again.
► 00:48:52
Watch this one more time.
► 00:48:54
Oh my God.
► 00:48:55
Bro, he put all of his 265 pounds in a bag.
► 00:48:58
The realization on his face when he was like, it's worse than I thought it was going to be, and it's real.
► 00:49:03
Bro, it's like getting hit by a car right on your dick.
► 00:49:06
That's brutal.
► 00:49:07
Right.
► 00:49:07
Look at the eyes change.
► 00:49:09
And the thing about those shitty cups is sometimes those shitty cups hit your nut.
► 00:49:13
Like the cup actually, your balls are kind of like poking out the side a little bit, and the cup slams into your nut.
► 00:49:18
It's also, it's not, they just got this at Target on the way to this.
► 00:49:21
Yeah, yeah.
► 00:49:22
It was fitted.
► 00:49:22
They were just like, I don't know, it's going to be one.
► 00:49:24
Real solid cup with a compression shorts.
► 00:49:29
See, Gen Z or Gen Alpha will never have a jackass.
► 00:49:32
You don't think so?
► 00:49:32
No, I think those are mean.
► 00:49:34
But what about these streamers that keep getting beat up?
► 00:49:35
Yeah, they're kidding.
► 00:49:36
Oh, is that a thing?
► 00:49:37
Yeah, these streamers are like picking fights at people and getting fucked up.
► 00:49:40
All right.
► 00:49:41
All right.
► 00:49:42
Yeah, there's a lot of streamers that are getting that fuck beaten out of them.
► 00:49:44
Yeah.
► 00:49:45
In a good way?
► 00:49:46
Well, I mean, they're getting, they're provoking people and occasionally they provoke the wrong person.
► 00:49:50
They fight club it until somebody picks a fight back with them.
► 00:49:52
There's this one with Tiki.
► 00:49:54
Tiki fought for the UFC.
► 00:49:55
He's like a top level trainer, manages fighters.
► 00:49:58
And this streamer kid is in his face telling him he's going to fuck him up.
► 00:50:01
And Tiki's like, Oh, really?
► 00:50:03
And he's like, Yeah, I'll fuck you up for sure.
► 00:50:05
And then he moves too close to him and Tiki just cracks him.
► 00:50:08
Is that the elbow?
► 00:50:09
No, I think he punched him.
► 00:50:10
I don't know if he elbowed him or punched him.
► 00:50:11
It's so hard to tell because it happened so fast.
► 00:50:14
But it's like the dude's in his face.
► 00:50:15
And this is a dude, this guy, watch this.
► 00:50:17
And he's got a drink in his hand.
► 00:50:19
Yeah.
► 00:50:20
Is it an elbow?
► 00:50:21
Slow that down a little bit.
► 00:50:21
That was right on the jaw.
► 00:50:23
It either is a punch or an elbow.
► 00:50:25
It's hard to say because it happened so fast.
► 00:50:26
Yeah, it's an elbow.
► 00:50:28
He dropped the drink.
► 00:50:28
What did he say to him?
► 00:50:29
Nice elbow.
► 00:50:30
Is that sure that was an elbow?
► 00:50:31
He said he was going to fuck him up.
► 00:50:33
He said he was going to slap him.
► 00:50:35
I'll slap the shit out of you.
► 00:50:36
Something like that.
► 00:50:37
No, but is that just cause?
► 00:50:39
Yeah, I thought he's the wrong guy to fuck with.
► 00:50:41
Right.
► 00:50:41
Like, Tiki's really good.
► 00:50:43
Tiki Masala.
► 00:50:44
He's big.
► 00:50:45
I wouldn't.
► 00:50:45
Even if he didn't do UFC, I wouldn't walk up to him and be like, what are you going to do, pussy?
► 00:50:49
Exactly.
► 00:50:49
He's crazy.
► 00:50:50
I knew to drop it.
► 00:50:51
But he's holding whiskey.
► 00:50:53
Well, that's probably why he didn't come out.
► 00:50:54
He's so calm until the second, but he dropped it.
► 00:50:56
He let it go.
► 00:50:57
Yeah.
► 00:50:57
Drops.
► 00:50:58
Oh, really?
► 00:50:58
And elbows.
► 00:50:59
Nice technique, dude.
► 00:51:00
One more time on that, Jamie.
► 00:51:01
One more time.
► 00:51:02
That was a hook.
► 00:51:02
The kids look like really.
► 00:51:04
Well, the elbow's just as powerful, dude.
► 00:51:06
Especially coming out of Tiki.
► 00:51:08
So let's see what he says to him.
► 00:51:09
He said a bunch of shit to him.
► 00:51:11
What?
► 00:51:12
I said straight up.
► 00:51:13
Are you the guy that got slapped on video?
► 00:51:15
I did, but I'll slap the shit out, you know.
► 00:51:16
Oh, you were?
► 00:51:18
I'm gonna show you the inside of the house.
► 00:51:21
No, wait, no, I'll make you another clip.
Tiki Masala Fight Talk
00:06:44
► 00:51:23
Don't do that.
► 00:51:24
Seriously?
► 00:51:25
Don't do that.
► 00:51:29
Oh!
► 00:51:29
There's you.
► 00:51:30
Oh!
► 00:51:31
But some of these streamers, man, they make their whole fucking career out of doing stuff like that.
► 00:51:36
He got up.
► 00:51:36
Who's that guy?
► 00:51:37
Wow, he got up?
► 00:51:38
It's hard to say what's going on.
► 00:51:40
Or is that the bouncer?
► 00:51:42
Oh, it's not him.
► 00:51:42
It's hard to say what's happening.
► 00:51:44
It is hard to say.
► 00:51:45
It's not him that got up again.
► 00:51:46
It's a girl or something.
► 00:51:47
Well, I think he probably got up too because I see the black jacket.
► 00:51:51
But it seems like he ran in there.
► 00:51:53
That's him.
► 00:51:53
Ran in there after him and threw a couple punches at him.
► 00:51:56
I mean, the fact that he took that is pretty impressive.
► 00:51:58
I would have gone night night.
► 00:52:01
Yeah, but you wouldn't have been there.
► 00:52:03
I wouldn't have been there.
► 00:52:04
I'll fucking knock you out.
► 00:52:05
You would have never done that in the first fight.
► 00:52:06
The whole thing is crazy.
► 00:52:08
I'd be like, hey, he was talking more shit on the way up.
► 00:52:09
There's so many of these guys that are picking fights.
► 00:52:11
They're just doing anything they can to get attention to go viral.
► 00:52:14
Damn.
► 00:52:15
It's like a nightmare.
► 00:52:16
Walking down the street, and someone's like, What's up, bitch?
► 00:52:19
Oh, boy.
► 00:52:20
Well, I'm going to look like a pussy.
► 00:52:22
I'm not going to do that.
► 00:52:22
I hate those.
► 00:52:23
It's some guy with his girlfriend at Target, and they just start mocking him and mocking the girlfriend, forcing his hand.
► 00:52:29
That's sex.
► 00:52:30
Dude, I'm just trying to shop.
► 00:52:31
I don't want to fight you.
► 00:52:32
Who are you?
► 00:52:33
That's how people get shot.
► 00:52:34
Yeah.
► 00:52:35
For sure.
► 00:52:35
Yeah.
► 00:52:35
You do it in the wrong place.
► 00:52:37
It's terrible.
► 00:52:38
But it's just these kids today.
► 00:52:40
There's so many of them that are just trying to get famous.
► 00:52:42
The number one thing that kids want today is to get famous.
► 00:52:45
You know, they used to do a list.
► 00:52:46
What do you want to do when you grow up?
► 00:52:48
What are your goals?
► 00:52:49
Like a giant percentage of them are get famous.
► 00:52:51
That's true.
► 00:52:52
What's up with that clavicular homo?
► 00:52:55
You know what I'm talking about?
► 00:52:56
I don't see any look at it.
► 00:52:56
I think he's the opposite of a homo.
► 00:52:58
I think his whole thing is looks maxing to get chicks.
► 00:53:00
That sounds gay to me.
► 00:53:02
Looks maxing.
► 00:53:02
What is looks maxing?
► 00:53:04
Well, one of the things he does apparently hits his face with a hammer to put micro breaks in his face to make his jaw look more like a chick.
► 00:53:11
That's strong.
► 00:53:11
You're just man to man trans.
► 00:53:13
There you go.
► 00:53:14
Oh, man to man trans.
► 00:53:15
Yeah, you've just altered your looks to make yourself more of a gender.
► 00:53:19
Wow.
► 00:53:19
Yes.
► 00:53:20
Interesting.
► 00:53:21
Gender affirming.
► 00:53:21
Yeah, it's gender affirming.
► 00:53:23
Is that trans for girls?
► 00:53:24
Yeah.
► 00:53:24
Let's do it.
► 00:53:25
Absolutely.
► 00:53:26
I like it.
► 00:53:26
No, don't take fake tits.
► 00:53:28
Leave fake tits, but you can't fucking make us.
► 00:53:30
It's gender affirming.
► 00:53:31
If you're like, men look this way, then you're like, all right.
► 00:53:35
So it's like you can be something you're not.
► 00:53:37
I don't know.
► 00:53:39
He gets laid, though.
► 00:53:40
I'm sure.
► 00:53:40
Oh, I'm sure he does.
► 00:53:41
He's a handsome fellow.
► 00:53:42
He's very handsome.
► 00:53:42
Yeah, he's a handsome.
► 00:53:43
But he's like, apparently he does meth.
► 00:53:45
Yeah, he talks about it because he finds it better than Adderall for controlling his appetite.
► 00:53:51
That'll do it.
► 00:53:52
Like, this is the thing.
► 00:53:53
Like, they want to be lean.
► 00:53:54
The wheels are going to come off.
► 00:53:55
Yeah.
► 00:53:55
You can't do meth, but.
► 00:53:58
It's entertaining.
► 00:54:00
How about just self will?
► 00:54:02
I don't think.
► 00:54:02
This is when you overdosed the other day on stream.
► 00:54:04
Oh, no, no, no.
► 00:54:05
It's easy.
► 00:54:06
What did he overdose on?
► 00:54:08
I don't.
► 00:54:09
Which one is he?
► 00:54:10
That guy?
► 00:54:12
That's him.
► 00:54:13
Yeah, he is handsome.
► 00:54:13
I think it's a longer clip.
► 00:54:14
He's pretty handsome.
► 00:54:15
So, would he just fall apart?
► 00:54:16
Oh, they took it off the camera.
► 00:54:18
But, yeah, he's just like falling down a cahoe.
► 00:54:20
He's about to be dead.
► 00:54:20
You know what?
► 00:54:21
I actually saw this, and what was cool about it was how nice he was to everybody.
► 00:54:25
Oh.
► 00:54:25
Like, even while he's like.
► 00:54:27
Overdosing.
► 00:54:27
He's like, people are coming up.
► 00:54:28
Can I get a picture?
► 00:54:29
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:54:31
He's probably on Molly.
► 00:54:33
He looks like he's having an eight.
► 00:54:34
Definitely Molly.
► 00:54:35
Yeah, it could be Molly.
► 00:54:36
That may be why he's so nice to everybody.
► 00:54:38
Yeah, that's not a K hole.
► 00:54:39
I've been in one of those.
► 00:54:40
You don't smile.
► 00:54:41
Yeah.
► 00:54:41
Oh, really?
► 00:54:42
Oh, shit.
► 00:54:43
But is that overdosing or is he just on it?
► 00:54:46
That's why the clips are going around saying overdosing.
► 00:54:48
It's for toys.
► 00:54:49
It's not overdosing.
► 00:54:50
It's just chester maxing.
► 00:54:50
It's for toys.
► 00:54:51
It's not overdosing.
► 00:54:51
It's just chester maxing.
► 00:54:52
It's so funny.
► 00:54:53
These terms.
► 00:54:54
Look, he's like a boy band.
► 00:54:55
Mocking and streamer.
► 00:54:57
It's hilarious.
► 00:54:57
Everything is toxic and dangerous.
► 00:54:59
Look at the streamer looks maxing.
► 00:55:00
Culture is tough.
► 00:55:02
Culture.
► 00:55:03
What is gooning?
► 00:55:04
Culture.
► 00:55:04
What is gooning?
► 00:55:05
Gooning is a thing.
► 00:55:06
We've had this argument.
► 00:55:07
What's gooning?
► 00:55:09
Masturbating to just really obsessing over anything.
► 00:55:13
It's hilarious.
► 00:55:14
Okay.
► 00:55:15
So, like a stalker is gooning.
► 00:55:16
Ooh, could be.
► 00:55:18
I don't know if you're getting that right.
► 00:55:19
It's a ridge.
► 00:55:19
Double goon.
► 00:55:20
It just means like you're obsessed over something, which is like masturbation all the time, and then it's become like obsession.
► 00:55:27
But I think it stayed with masturbation.
► 00:55:28
It's definitely just masturbating.
► 00:55:30
It's basically just being as horny as you can fucking be, and it's very funny.
► 00:55:33
All right.
► 00:55:34
I've gooned quite a bit in my day.
► 00:55:36
Yeah.
► 00:55:36
Oh, yeah.
► 00:55:37
You're a gooner.
► 00:55:38
I'm a gooner.
► 00:55:38
Yeah.
► 00:55:39
All right.
► 00:55:40
I'm feeling beer.
► 00:55:40
What?
► 00:55:41
Can I get one of them beers?
► 00:55:42
Yeah, it's beer time.
► 00:55:43
I feel like one of those.
► 00:55:44
Joe Rogan's back.
► 00:55:45
Yeah.
► 00:55:46
Eight months off the sauce.
► 00:55:49
Wow.
► 00:55:49
Moderation.
► 00:55:51
Moderation is the key.
► 00:55:52
He went on a drinking withdrawal until Trump said he could do mushrooms as well.
► 00:55:57
And he goes, okay, fine.
► 00:55:58
Fine, I'll drink it.
► 00:55:59
What was that like, being in the Oval Off?
► 00:56:01
Pretty fucking strange.
► 00:56:02
The whole thing was strange.
► 00:56:03
How about sending him a text message explaining everything to him and him saying, let's do it?
► 00:56:07
Wow.
► 00:56:09
Dude, let's do it.
► 00:56:10
And then the next day, he keeps saying, yeah, let's do it.
► 00:56:13
He's getting texts from BB.
► 00:56:15
He goes, Yeah, fuck it.
► 00:56:17
It always works out for me.
► 00:56:19
Shut down the straight.
► 00:56:19
He's a fuck.
► 00:56:21
He showed up at the UFC event.
► 00:56:23
He shakes my hand.
► 00:56:24
He goes, It's done.
► 00:56:25
And then a week later, we were in the White House with all the vets, all those vets that had taken Ibergain and saved their life.
► 00:56:31
You should have had, okay, it's a missed opportunity.
► 00:56:34
You should have had all those vets and then a couple like dreadlocked white guys who were also like, This is going to help me a lot.
► 00:56:39
This is going to fucking rule.
► 00:56:40
I should have had Duncan.
► 00:56:41
I should have Duncan.
► 00:56:42
Duncan dressed like a shaman.
► 00:56:45
Everyone's going to benefit from this.
► 00:56:47
With a hat on like you're wearing?
► 00:56:49
You should have wore that fucking hat.
► 00:56:52
With a suit behind the brother.
► 00:56:54
Well, I had a suit, jacket, and everything.
► 00:56:56
I was prepared, but it was in the other room.
► 00:56:57
But he goes, come on in the Oval Office.
► 00:56:59
So he brought me in the Oval Office early.
► 00:57:01
You were not wearing a suit?
► 00:57:02
I didn't see that.
► 00:57:03
I had a jacket.
► 00:57:03
A suit jacket.
► 00:57:04
I didn't have a tie.
► 00:57:04
I was going to wear a tie, but I hate ties.
► 00:57:06
I said, let me just dress like I dress at the UFC.
► 00:57:08
Like, man.
► 00:57:08
So I wore my UFC fucking outfit.
► 00:57:10
So you were like Zelinsky in a tracksuit.
► 00:57:12
No, I had a nice button up shirt, nice pair of pants, nice dress shoes.
► 00:57:16
Yeah.
► 00:57:17
I was respectable, but I just wasn't wearing a tie.
► 00:57:19
But I did have a suit jacket, but it was in the other room.
► 00:57:21
But he dragged me into the Oval Office.
► 00:57:23
Come over here.
► 00:57:23
Look at this.
► 00:57:24
It looks so beautiful now.
► 00:57:25
He's like showing me all the new gold work.
► 00:57:27
The Oval Office has like gold everywhere now, it's like all gold leaf everywhere.
► 00:57:31
It's pretty impressive.
► 00:57:32
Who designed the Persians?
► 00:57:33
It's him.
► 00:57:34
Oh, yeah.
► 00:57:34
He loves gold.
► 00:57:35
Definitely not the Persians.
► 00:57:36
Bin Laden loved gold.
► 00:57:38
He loves it.
► 00:57:38
He loves doing up the Oval Office.
► 00:57:41
Shane and I took a tour.
► 00:57:42
Yeah, see you in Oklahoma.
► 00:57:43
Wait, what?
► 00:57:44
They took a tour of the White House.
► 00:57:45
When?
► 00:57:46
Two years ago?
► 00:57:47
No, no.
► 00:57:47
A year.
► 00:57:47
A year.
► 00:57:48
Biden years?
► 00:57:49
No, Trump years.
► 00:57:50
He wasn't there, so we got in, but they're like, you can't go into the Oval Office.
► 00:57:53
And we're like craning our head in with our feet just on the outside.
► 00:57:57
Like, hold my hand.
► 00:57:59
Saw the big Gulf of America.
► 00:58:00
Oh, this is back, yeah.
► 00:58:02
He had literally just had a map next to his desk that says Gulf of America.
► 00:58:05
You're like, damn.
► 00:58:06
It's a map of water.
Accidental SIG Signal Leak
00:13:18
► 00:58:07
God damn.
► 00:58:08
Especially because you're like walking through and you're like, damn, Lincoln's.
► 00:58:10
There's a lot of these cool things.
► 00:58:12
And then you see Gulf of America next to the desk.
► 00:58:15
You're like, hey, what is that really gross bill that they just passed, though?
► 00:58:19
What is that FISA bill that they just passed, Jamie?
► 00:58:22
Ugh.
► 00:58:23
Yeah, something just happened where people are freaking out.
► 00:58:26
Gross bill.
► 00:58:27
It's something.
► 00:58:29
It has something to do with them being able to look into all your private communications without a warrant.
► 00:58:35
Oh, I don't like that.
► 00:58:35
Is there a new one?
► 00:58:36
Someone told me that every new car is going to have AI testing to see if you're drunk or not.
► 00:58:41
And then they also won't abuse it in 2027.
► 00:58:43
Bad news.
► 00:58:44
Wait, what was it?
► 00:58:45
Look at you while you're driving to make sure that you're not hammered, get video of you.
► 00:58:50
No one's smoking joints or beer.
► 00:58:51
Get a car drive.
► 00:58:52
Get an old car.
► 00:58:53
That's what I got.
► 00:58:54
Get an old Mustang.
► 00:58:54
Is that a real thing?
► 00:58:55
I'm not going to send it.
► 00:58:56
Likely to reject the House pass.
► 00:58:57
Good.
► 00:58:58
Thank God.
► 00:58:59
We should force them to reject it.
► 00:59:00
Jesus Christ, this is crazy.
► 00:59:02
Three year extension of Section 702 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act allows the federal government to collect communications of non citizens outside the U.S., though it often includes communications with American citizens.
► 00:59:15
But then if they suspect you of it, like with Tucker, Tucker was communicating with Putin's people to do an interview through Signal.
► 00:59:24
So they took his encoded, so it's all encrypted.
► 00:59:29
They took his encrypted signal and they decrypted it.
► 00:59:32
Someone who knows this stuff explained to me said it cost about $600,000 to do that.
► 00:59:38
They said they can decrypt encrypted messages, they just have to get the data.
► 00:59:43
So, somehow or another, they got the data off of his phone, they unencrypted it, and then they contacted him and said, We know that you're meeting with Putin.
► 00:59:51
He's like, How the fuck do you know?
► 00:59:52
They're like, We read your signal.
► 00:59:53
And he's like, What?
► 00:59:55
But he's like, Yeah, I mean, I am meeting with him.
► 00:59:56
I'm doing an interview.
► 00:59:57
I'm a journalist.
► 00:59:58
Yeah, well, that was his position.
► 00:59:59
But it was also his position that he's using an encrypted app, unless they're suspecting him of a crime.
► 01:00:05
They shouldn't be able to look at his encrypted messages.
► 01:00:09
So, like this idea that you're sending things on Signal and no one can read them, I think that's bullshit.
► 01:00:14
I think it's more difficult to read them.
► 01:00:16
So, local cops are not going to do it if you're just buying Molly.
► 01:00:19
Right.
► 01:00:19
That's not worth $600,000.
► 01:00:20
Exactly.
► 01:00:21
Right.
► 01:00:21
Didn't Heg Seth shit get leaked too on Signal?
► 01:00:25
Remember that, like a year ago?
► 01:00:26
I think that was because those people accidentally included a journalist.
► 01:00:31
So, it was like a giant group of like 10 people or something like that, and one of them was a fucking journalist.
► 01:00:36
These knuckleheads, and the journalists just released all the text messages.
► 01:00:40
So they're sending emojis after we bombed Iran.
► 01:00:42
Here's a fun story today.
► 01:00:43
Wait, that guy?
► 01:00:44
Suicide note, purportedly written by Jeffrey Epstein weeks before his death in jail, has been kept secret for years, locked up in a courthouse.
► 01:00:50
That means investigators scrutinizing his death lacked what could have been a key piece of evidence.
► 01:00:54
In the last hour, they're saying there's a note they found that just.
► 01:00:57
There's a brand new note for it.
► 01:00:59
It just all of a sudden exists.
► 01:01:00
No one says they haven't shown it or said what it says.
► 01:01:03
They're just.
► 01:01:04
Everyone's not reporting.
► 01:01:05
Well, how about the fucking autopsy that says that his prostate was unremarkable?
► 01:01:10
But meanwhile, he had his prostate removed.
► 01:01:12
Oh boy.
► 01:01:14
There's a lot of people that don't even believe he died.
► 01:01:15
I think he's alive.
► 01:01:16
I think they just face-offed him and he's living a good life somewhere.
► 01:01:20
You just changed him.
► 01:01:22
Yeah, I think the people that all go to that stuff, like, don't worry.
► 01:01:24
If we kill you, then we're all worried about ourselves.
► 01:01:26
We're just going to relocate you.
► 01:01:28
Israel.
► 01:01:28
Israel, maybe.
► 01:01:29
That's what I heard from Metzger.
► 01:01:31
From Metzger.
► 01:01:32
It wouldn't be Israel.
► 01:01:33
He'd live somewhere like.
► 01:01:34
Why wouldn't he live in Israel?
► 01:01:35
That's the place where he's most protected.
► 01:01:36
It'd be like Cambodia.
► 01:01:38
No, they'll kill him in Cambodia.
► 01:01:40
You've got to live in Israel.
► 01:01:41
No, there's parents in Israel.
► 01:01:43
Of who?
► 01:01:43
Yeah, but do you know that's like the number one place where like sex offenders go from America that are Jewish?
► 01:01:49
They're in trouble.
► 01:01:49
Yeah.
► 01:01:50
They don't take anybody in.
► 01:01:51
I didn't know that.
► 01:01:51
Yeah.
► 01:01:52
They take anybody in.
► 01:01:53
Yeah, especially Jewish people.
► 01:01:54
They'll just take you.
► 01:01:56
Wow, Jews have had a run.
► 01:01:57
You had Madoff, Weinstein, Epstein.
► 01:01:59
Weinstein.
► 01:02:00
Hell yeah, thank you.
► 01:02:00
The other guy.
► 01:02:02
Nice.
► 01:02:03
Hell of a run, you guys.
► 01:02:03
Cosby Berg.
► 01:02:05
Yeah.
► 01:02:08
Yeah.
► 01:02:09
Kind of proves Kanye's point a little bit.
► 01:02:10
I don't love the Kimmel shit, it's annoying.
► 01:02:13
Like the fighting with Kimmel over the jokes.
► 01:02:15
Like, come on, man.
► 01:02:16
I mean, here's the thing about that joke.
► 01:02:18
Adam Carolla had a really good point.
► 01:02:19
He said that joke, he said that joke on a Thursday.
► 01:02:23
On Friday, nobody gave a shit.
► 01:02:24
Who gave a shit?
► 01:02:26
Kimmel.
► 01:02:26
He said a joke about Melania.
► 01:02:28
He made his own mock White House press correspondence dinner.
► 01:02:31
Right.
► 01:02:31
And he said Melania has the glow of a woman who's recently widowed.
► 01:02:35
Okay.
► 01:02:36
That's it.
► 01:02:37
It's an old guy joke.
► 01:02:38
Like he's going to die.
► 01:02:39
Yeah.
► 01:02:39
It could be, or an assassination joke if you want to take it that way, but he is old.
► 01:02:43
Wait, is that after the attempt?
► 01:02:45
No, before.
► 01:02:46
So it's on Thursday, and this is Carolla's point.
► 01:02:48
It's a really good point.
► 01:02:49
He said no one gave a shit on Friday.
► 01:02:51
It came out on Thursday.
► 01:02:52
No one cared on Friday.
► 01:02:53
No one cared on Saturday until Saturday night when the assassination attempt.
► 01:02:57
And then all of a sudden, everyone's blaming Kimmel.
► 01:02:58
It's so funny that the right wing turned into the same fucking pussy faggots that the left wing are.
► 01:03:03
It's the same shit.
► 01:03:05
It is the same shit.
► 01:03:05
It's human behavior patterns.
► 01:03:07
You could call them left or right.
► 01:03:09
I mean, this is why the left supports war in Ukraine.
► 01:03:13
It's like why the left supports censorship.
► 01:03:15
It's like the same patterns.
► 01:03:17
It's control, control, and power.
► 01:03:19
You want your side to win.
► 01:03:20
Yeah, 100%.
► 01:03:20
That's where they found the note.
► 01:03:22
Where?
► 01:03:22
Nicholas Tartaglia found it.
► 01:03:25
Ah.
► 01:03:25
Who's that?
► 01:03:26
The guy who killed him.
► 01:03:27
The fucking super jacked contract killer cellmate that he had.
► 01:03:32
You know that story?
► 01:03:33
Uh-uh.
► 01:03:33
No, his cellmate was a fucking Super Jack cop who killed drug dealers.
► 01:03:37
No.
► 01:03:38
Yeah, dude, he was a gorilla.
► 01:03:39
I mean, fuck, show Ari a picture of the guy.
► 01:03:42
Tartaglione is this fucking huge, evil, corrupt cop.
► 01:03:46
Yeah, super Guinea.
► 01:03:47
He's like a roided up Guinea.
► 01:03:49
Damn.
► 01:03:50
Get an image of this.
► 01:03:51
I'd like to see this cat.
► 01:03:52
Look at this.
► 01:03:54
Whoa, bro.
► 01:03:55
Imagine that guy's your fucking cellmate.
► 01:03:56
Jesus.
► 01:03:57
And he's killed four guys, four drug dealers and contract killers.
► 01:04:01
What's he in jail for?
► 01:04:02
Murder.
► 01:04:03
Oh.
► 01:04:03
Quadruple slaying.
► 01:04:04
He was in there for fucking dogs.
► 01:04:06
No.
► 01:04:07
No, there's a lot of dogs.
► 01:04:08
Look at the picture.
► 01:04:10
Dogs are on his buddies.
► 01:04:11
Cute dogs.
► 01:04:11
Cute little dog.
► 01:04:12
He's a pretty good dog.
► 01:04:14
He's a pretty good dog.
► 01:04:16
He's fucking murdering people.
► 01:04:17
And then they put him in the cell with Epstein.
► 01:04:20
And then he said Epstein tried to kill him 18 days before he died.
► 01:04:23
He complained, excuse me, he said Tartaglioni tried to kill Epstein.
► 01:04:28
Epstein complained.
► 01:04:28
The cellmate tried to kill him.
► 01:04:29
Yeah.
► 01:04:30
We tried to strangle him to death.
► 01:04:32
Whoa.
► 01:04:33
And they found him unconscious and unresponsive.
► 01:04:35
And then he grabbed McGraw to break out of it.
► 01:04:40
Whatever they do.
► 01:04:44
Crowd MAGA hat.
► 01:04:48
That whole Epstein thing is so crazy.
► 01:04:50
No one's gone to jail for that.
► 01:04:51
It's pretty surprising that they're still not releasing it.
► 01:04:53
Here's what's crazy No arrests.
► 01:04:56
No one's being brought in.
► 01:04:59
Meanwhile, Comey is getting arrested for a photo of seashells that say 8647.
► 01:05:04
He's getting arrested for that?
► 01:05:05
Yeah.
► 01:05:06
What's 8647?
► 01:05:08
86, get rid of.
► 01:05:11
But you could say kill.
► 01:05:13
But 86 is, if you get fired, what happened to Mike?
► 01:05:15
He got 86th.
► 01:05:16
Right.
► 01:05:17
It doesn't mean you got killed.
► 01:05:18
But this is a crazy thing to arrest someone for.
► 01:05:21
Of course.
► 01:05:21
FBI arrested in Virginia.
► 01:05:24
Appears briefly in court.
► 01:05:25
Well, they already had it out for him.
► 01:05:27
I know.
► 01:05:27
They're just looking for any excuse.
► 01:05:30
The problem with these guys is it sets a crazy precedent.
► 01:05:34
Yeah, you're down to see Josh Jones's precedent.
► 01:05:37
That's already, that's the worst.
► 01:05:39
Like, that's crazy.
► 01:05:40
That's the crazy one.
► 01:05:41
FBI arrest.
► 01:05:41
Well, you went after me?
► 01:05:42
Well, now we're going after you.
► 01:05:44
For nothing.
► 01:05:44
It doesn't matter.
► 01:05:45
It's nuts.
► 01:05:45
It's nuts.
► 01:05:46
Like, you're going after someone for something that's just silly.
► 01:05:48
It's awesome.
► 01:05:49
8647 is get rid of 47.
► 01:05:52
Right.
► 01:05:52
It's free speech.
► 01:05:53
But it's just like arresting a guy for that is nuts.
► 01:05:57
Comey, don't play that.
► 01:05:58
Yeah.
► 01:05:58
I mean, it's one thing, like, if you have, like, a photo of him, like, an AI, you post an AI photo of him dead, you know, with bullet holes in him, like, wouldn't that be nice?
► 01:06:08
Yeah, yes, but also.
► 01:06:09
But even that.
► 01:06:10
Even that's okay.
► 01:06:11
Yeah.
► 01:06:12
Well, the Secret Service would be nice.
► 01:06:13
Not as an FBI director.
► 01:06:14
Right.
► 01:06:15
But he's a former FBI director, so he's a private citizen at that point.
► 01:06:18
He'd already left the office.
► 01:06:20
Oh.
► 01:06:20
It's crazy.
► 01:06:21
Trump could take a shot, but not a joke.
► 01:06:23
It's just retaliation for going after Trump?
► 01:06:25
Well, it is, but it's like they're just looking for any reason.
► 01:06:29
It just doesn't seem like there should be other reasons.
► 01:06:32
Like if the guy really was dirty, you should have something on him other than this seashell picture.
► 01:06:36
Yeah, it's not.
► 01:06:36
He's not.
► 01:06:37
He just hates him and he's using that.
► 01:06:39
I know, but it sets such a press.
► 01:06:40
Such abuse as that.
► 01:06:41
This was my thing when people weren't upset about ICE people in the street with masks on and no identification.
► 01:06:46
I'm like, this sets a crazy press.
► 01:06:48
Yeah, I understand you want the undocumented criminals out of the country.
► 01:06:52
I agree.
► 01:06:53
However, you're setting a precedent for militarized people with seven weeks training to be walking around with fucking weapons of war and flak jackets with no ID and masks on.
► 01:07:05
That's all I'm saying.
► 01:07:06
Like, this is a slippery fucking slope you're going down.
► 01:07:09
Yeah, it's no bueno.
► 01:07:10
But then also, they wouldn't have to be there like that if there wasn't any conflict if it wasn't organized, paid for protests.
► 01:07:17
They paid people to protest, they paid people because they had the fucking, all that fraud in Minnesota.
► 01:07:23
Yeah, but there's a reason why I was in Minneapolis, why the fucking protests were strongest in Minneapolis and organized, because that's where all the fraud was.
► 01:07:31
That's where all the people were getting caught.
► 01:07:32
So they said, well, let's defuse this.
► 01:07:34
And Mike Benz said.
► 01:07:36
But it's not, you don't just give Randos guns and go, all right, they overstepped.
► 01:07:40
So here, you're seven weeks training.
► 01:07:41
Go ahead.
► 01:07:42
Go national security.
► 01:07:42
Not just give Randos guns.
► 01:07:43
They gave him a $50,000 signing bonus.
► 01:07:46
Oh, yeah.
► 01:07:47
You get a $50,000 signing bonus.
► 01:07:50
And by the way, a lot of them are Mexican.
► 01:07:52
A lot of them are Mexican.
► 01:07:54
That's true.
► 01:07:55
And tuning to two guys that shot that dude in Minneapolis, both Mexicans.
► 01:07:59
Gotta make my note.
► 01:08:00
Gotta make my note.
► 01:08:00
Excuse me.
► 01:08:01
Hispanic.
► 01:08:02
Sure.
► 01:08:02
Latino.
► 01:08:03
Had Latin names.
► 01:08:04
Oh, interesting.
► 01:08:05
I was at the airport in Philly, and an ICE agent was like, Yo, my man, what's up?
► 01:08:09
And I was like, Yo, chill.
► 01:08:11
Chill.
► 01:08:13
Fuck.
► 01:08:13
Don't ask me for a picture.
► 01:08:14
Do you see that Trump renamed it instead of ICE?
► 01:08:16
Now it's NICE.
► 01:08:17
I saw that.
► 01:08:18
What?
► 01:08:19
It's NICE now instead of ICE.
► 01:08:21
So now you're protesting NICE.
► 01:08:22
It's national.
► 01:08:24
Immigrations, customs, enforcement.
► 01:08:26
He's done it again.
► 01:08:27
Never mind.
► 01:08:28
Man, our leader.
► 01:08:31
That's funny.
► 01:08:31
He's a wild boy.
► 01:08:32
Still funny.
► 01:08:33
It is funny.
► 01:08:34
Calling it nice.
► 01:08:35
Is your thing about to go off?
► 01:08:36
Is that why you stop it?
► 01:08:37
I just realized I left my kid in a Somali daycare.
► 01:08:39
I've got to go pick him up.
► 01:08:41
He'll be fine.
► 01:08:42
Why did he be nice while I was gone?
► 01:08:43
Did they go nuts?
► 01:08:44
No.
► 01:08:45
Yeah, they shot him.
► 01:08:46
They shot him.
► 01:08:46
You don't know about Alex Freddy?
► 01:08:47
No X Freddy.
► 01:08:47
I executed two citizens.
► 01:08:48
Good for you.
► 01:08:49
Boy, you've been gone, huh?
► 01:08:51
Killed two citizens?
► 01:08:52
Well, there's one lady that got killed in a car because they were trying to tell her to stay.
► 01:08:58
She was protesting and fucking with them.
► 01:09:00
And then she drove when the cop tried to step in front of her car.
► 01:09:04
She's clearly turning her wheel away from him.
► 01:09:07
She's not trying to run him over.
► 01:09:08
And he just talked to her.
► 01:09:09
Who, a cop or ice?
► 01:09:10
Ice guy.
► 01:09:11
Yeah.
► 01:09:11
And he said, fucking, an American born citizen?
► 01:09:14
Oh, yeah.
► 01:09:14
Yeah.
► 01:09:15
Yeah.
► 01:09:16
A crazy lady.
► 01:09:17
Kind of anyone, but yes.
► 01:09:18
Yeah.
► 01:09:19
Lesbian.
► 01:09:20
Allegedly.
► 01:09:21
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
► 01:09:22
Well, the girlfriend was there.
► 01:09:23
Do you believe in them, though, for real?
► 01:09:25
Oh, yeah.
► 01:09:25
She looked like a lesbian.
► 01:09:28
You don't think?
► 01:09:29
No, they seemed legit.
► 01:09:30
Yeah.
► 01:09:30
She had a kid.
► 01:09:31
She looked like Brock Lesnar.
► 01:09:32
She's a.
► 01:09:34
Newly lesbian lady.
► 01:09:35
Okay.
► 01:09:36
Newly lesbian.
► 01:09:37
What was the backlash on that?
► 01:09:38
It was pretty bad.
► 01:09:39
It was pretty bad.
► 01:09:40
Yeah, pretty bad backlash.
► 01:09:41
And then this Alex Pretty guy.
► 01:09:44
Did they blame it on those?
► 01:09:45
Did they manage that one?
► 01:09:47
The Alex Pretty guy was carrying a gun.
► 01:09:49
And so he was open carrying or concealed carrying and physically pushing cops.
► 01:09:56
It was kind of crazy.
► 01:09:57
And then they tackle him.
► 01:09:58
They found out he's a gun.
► 01:09:59
This is where it gets crazy.
► 01:10:00
One of the Border Protection's agents grabs the gun and is taking it away.
► 01:10:04
And unfortunately, the gun accidentally goes off.
► 01:10:07
The gun that he was carrying is called a SIG P320 and it's notorious for accidental discharges.
► 01:10:14
So, this is confusing because it's hard to tell because the video is a little grainy, but most people who are experts look at it and say that, at least the videos that I've watched, say that that gun accidentally went off without the guy touching the trigger.
► 01:10:28
But also, the cop has the gun.
► 01:10:30
The cop's moving away with the gun.
► 01:10:32
They say he has a gun.
► 01:10:33
Cop or the ICE people?
► 01:10:34
The cops say it's Border Protections.
► 01:10:37
It's not even ICE, it's a different organization.
► 01:10:40
So, the Border Protections guys.
► 01:10:42
Are moving away with the gun.
► 01:10:44
The gun goes off, and these guys think the guy has another gun, and then they start shooting him.
► 01:10:49
And they shoot him and kill him while they have him down.
► 01:10:51
It's a rough video.
► 01:10:52
This is all my interpretation based on videos.
► 01:10:55
I might not be accurate, but I've seen the video.
► 01:10:58
It does look like the slide moves.
► 01:11:00
It does look like the sound of a gun going off corresponds with that slide moving.
► 01:11:04
And that gun is notorious.
► 01:11:06
Like, if you look up SIG P320 online, accidental discharge, you'll see tons of videos of these guns accidentally go off.
► 01:11:13
Accidental discharge?
► 01:11:16
I haven't had one of those in a long time.
► 01:11:18
I used to have the one on my kids.
► 01:11:19
Wet dreams?
► 01:11:20
Wet dreams.
► 01:11:20
Not a long time.
► 01:11:21
You wake up to it, really.
► 01:11:22
No, been there.
► 01:11:24
That's like accidental fucking SIG.
Gunshot Video Analysis
00:10:11
► 01:11:26
Sorry.
► 01:11:27
That's bullshit.
► 01:11:29
Let's talk for 20 minutes.
► 01:11:30
We'll get back to it in a second.
► 01:11:34
Yeah, so you missed all the fun.
► 01:11:36
Good for you.
► 01:11:37
But it's like the only reason why there were violent people in the streets protesting is because it was an organized, paid-for protest.
► 01:11:43
They actually physically paid people to be there and protest, they gave them signs.
► 01:11:47
How do you get on that list to get paid for that?
► 01:11:49
You had to get on some wacky left-wing newsletter.
► 01:11:52
I don't know.
► 01:11:53
Still, like.
► 01:11:55
Yeah, you don't just put random people in charge of people.
► 01:11:57
I mean, you do have to get rid of all the cartel members and all the criminals that came across the border.
► 01:12:02
I mean, they let more than 10 million people into the country over four years.
► 01:12:06
Americans have a great way of overreacting to stuff.
► 01:12:09
They're like, oh, Saddam Hussein's a problem.
► 01:12:10
Let's go in there and kill a million people.
► 01:12:12
Yeah, America does that.
► 01:12:13
Yeah.
► 01:12:14
We're not the best people to handle stuff, and we're still like, we should handle it.
► 01:12:17
You know who else does that?
► 01:12:18
Who?
► 01:12:19
Israel.
► 01:12:20
Blame everything on Israel.
► 01:12:22
I'm not blaming everything.
► 01:12:24
Yeah.
► 01:12:25
They're a part of it.
► 01:12:26
It is amazing how many high profile Jewish people just have an opinion about everything.
► 01:12:32
But when it gets to this, they just avoid that or come up with some random way to justify annihilating an entire city.
► 01:12:44
Yeah.
► 01:12:44
It's just funny to me when Americans are like, hey, this other country's overstepping.
► 01:12:49
Yeah, we bombed the band twice.
► 01:12:51
Yeah, we were pretty far.
► 01:12:52
Afghanistan, Iraq.
► 01:12:53
Those fuckers had it really come to that.
► 01:12:56
They were Jews.
► 01:12:56
Twice?
► 01:12:57
The second one was just going, hey, check this out, Russia.
► 01:13:01
I guess so.
► 01:13:02
But yeah, whatever.
► 01:13:04
Well, that was a long time ago.
► 01:13:05
That's true.
► 01:13:06
Everybody did that's dead.
► 01:13:07
But based on today, ui.
► 01:13:10
Ui ve.
► 01:13:11
Ui ve.
► 01:13:12
It's a lot like Lebanon, bro.
► 01:13:14
What they're doing in Lebanon right now is crazy.
► 01:13:15
Well, they're looking for Hezbollah.
► 01:13:17
They've got to look under rubble.
► 01:13:19
Mmm, Barney rubble.
► 01:13:21
One more time with that later there.
► 01:13:24
What else is there?
► 01:13:26
Thank you.
► 01:13:27
There we go.
► 01:13:29
It's a wild time to be alive, kids.
► 01:13:30
It's wild.
► 01:13:31
But at least we're going to have drugs soon.
► 01:13:33
That's pretty nice.
► 01:13:33
Well, at least all those people that are hooked on pills are going to get off of them.
► 01:13:37
A lot of them are, at least.
► 01:13:38
It's going to at least give them something that works.
► 01:13:41
How come we can't get free health care?
► 01:13:43
Yeah, right?
► 01:13:44
Why don't we do that?
► 01:13:45
I'm paying out the ass.
► 01:13:46
Why can't we do that?
► 01:13:47
I bet if they took all the money from fraud, it would pay for health care 10 times lower.
► 01:13:51
Or in Ukraine or Israel.
► 01:13:52
Oh, yeah.
► 01:13:53
Why not?
► 01:13:53
Right.
► 01:13:54
Well, that's what's annoying.
► 01:13:55
All these policies are like if we get this much money, we can cure this.
► 01:13:58
I have all this money.
► 01:13:58
What are you doing?
► 01:13:59
I think.
► 01:14:00
100% free healthcare would be an awesome thing.
► 01:14:03
But you also want doctors to be incentivized to be really good at their jobs.
► 01:14:07
For sure.
► 01:14:08
So you want, like, the guy that did your knee and did my knee?
► 01:14:12
That's a bad thing.
► 01:14:13
Why can't we have universal healthcare and private doctors?
► 01:14:16
We should be able to have both of those things.
► 01:14:18
Like public school and private school.
► 01:14:19
Right.
► 01:14:20
Public defenders.
► 01:14:20
You're allowed to have a public defender.
► 01:14:22
Dude, the ease at which I got treated in third world countries was like really.
► 01:14:26
Yeah.
► 01:14:26
You just go in, see somebody, like, here's your pills you need, here's your drops you need.
► 01:14:31
Isn't it dirty deals and weird equipment over there?
► 01:14:34
No.
► 01:14:34
No.
► 01:14:35
Really?
► 01:14:35
Harvard trained doctors.
► 01:14:36
Come on.
► 01:14:37
Yeah, there's just no upsell for it.
► 01:14:39
Universal health care system in America would cost approximately 3.0 to 3.2 trillion annually.
► 01:14:45
Oh.
► 01:14:45
That's a lot.
► 01:14:46
Which is actually less than the current system that costs around 5.3 trillion per year.
► 01:14:49
Wow.
► 01:14:50
You're talking about a savings of almost 50%.
► 01:14:54
Why don't we get free health care?
► 01:14:56
So, a savings of $450 billion annually while providing coverage to all Americans.
► 01:15:01
According to Perplexity, our AI sponsor, which is never wrong, the United States currently spends about $5.3 trillion in health care, $15,474 per person as of 2024.
► 01:15:13
Even when something goes wrong and you have insurance, it's not paid for.
► 01:15:17
You've got to spend $5,000 to get anesthesia and then another $5,000 to go downstairs for the surgery.
► 01:15:23
What do you think is the problem?
► 01:15:24
What is it?
► 01:15:25
What is causing the charge?
► 01:15:26
I would imagine they want the money.
► 01:15:27
It's an insurance company trying to make you president.
► 01:15:29
Oh, thanks.
► 01:15:30
It's an insurance company.
► 01:15:31
Imagine you're president.
► 01:15:32
I've never read a Jew.
► 01:15:33
I got my teeth checked in Ecuador and they were like, You haven't packed the gums.
► 01:15:37
I was like, All right, I was about to go home in a week.
► 01:15:38
I was like, When I go home, I'll fix it.
► 01:15:40
And they're like, Are you nuts?
► 01:15:42
Do it.
► 01:15:42
People fly here to get that surgery because it's so much cheaper.
► 01:15:46
Flight, hotels, all that is much cheaper than doing it there.
► 01:15:50
Yeah.
► 01:15:50
And they're like, We have a surgeon.
► 01:15:51
And I was like, Is he like trained?
► 01:15:53
And they're like, Yeah, he went to Yale Medical School.
► 01:15:55
Dude shows up, sacrifices a chicken.
► 01:15:57
Yeah, exactly.
► 01:15:58
Al-Shabaab.
► 01:15:59
Al-Shabaab.
► 01:15:59
Well, this is why they clipped Bernie because he was trying to do this, so they got rid of him.
► 01:16:04
That was one thing he was trying to do.
► 01:16:05
It kind of blows.
► 01:16:06
It's embarrassing.
► 01:16:07
All right, let's put it this way.
► 01:16:08
How much would it cost if school, like higher education, was free?
► 01:16:14
Oh, that's too much money in that.
► 01:16:15
They won't do it.
► 01:16:16
Well, that's the same exact thing with health care.
► 01:16:18
Yeah.
► 01:16:18
Yeah.
► 01:16:19
It's a fortune.
► 01:16:20
We're making it worse.
► 01:16:21
As a country, it's all.
► 01:16:22
And it's gone up.
► 01:16:23
It's the same reason we're doing wars.
► 01:16:24
Yeah.
► 01:16:25
Money?
► 01:16:25
Just to make money.
► 01:16:26
Of course.
► 01:16:26
The oil?
► 01:16:27
Nothing else.
► 01:16:27
Not even just oil, but defense contracts.
► 01:16:29
They need.
► 01:16:30
They're raking it in.
► 01:16:32
I thought it was just.
► 01:16:33
I mean, the war has already cost how much?
► 01:16:35
Let's find out that.
► 01:16:36
How much is the war?
► 01:16:37
Let's just say.
► 01:16:37
Globally, how much is the war?
► 01:16:38
No, no, no.
► 01:16:39
Let's just look at how much Iran has cost us.
► 01:16:41
There we go.
► 01:16:42
That's what I mean.
► 01:16:42
Wait, shake a guess.
► 01:16:43
Let's do best.
► 01:16:43
Shutting down the fucking system.
► 01:16:44
How about Ukraine?
► 01:16:45
Right.
► 01:16:45
But I mean, just us spending money to bomb Iran.
► 01:16:49
Just that.
► 01:16:50
The simplest.
► 01:16:50
Just the bombs?
► 01:16:51
Lowest run without the economic impact, the oil impact.
► 01:16:54
What about the Hormuz and all that?
► 01:16:56
Well, that's a factor.
► 01:16:58
But let's just find out how much the raw money spent on the bombs.
► 01:17:01
$25 billion.
► 01:17:02
$25 billion.
► 01:17:04
That's dropping the bucket.
► 01:17:05
60 days into the war.
► 01:17:06
How much is Ukraine?
► 01:17:07
That's a lot more.
► 01:17:09
So, what concerns me, not just, well, all of it concerns me, one of the things that someone told me was that we've kind of depleted our weapon supplies because we don't have that many of those fucking missiles.
► 01:17:20
We've spent so much.
► 01:17:21
Well, we gave them all to Ukraine, we gave them all to Israel, and then we gave them all, now we're fucking using them.
► 01:17:26
That Zelensky's a mooch.
► 01:17:28
He just keeps wanting more every time.
► 01:17:31
Oh, you think it's his?
► 01:17:32
No, I think it's.
► 01:17:33
Out of Sanya?
► 01:17:34
It's us.
► 01:17:35
It's the US.
► 01:17:36
It's money, but it's all together.
► 01:17:39
It's all a big scam, Ponzi scheme.
► 01:17:41
Everybody's making money.
► 01:17:42
You should get Trump on here.
► 01:17:45
We're doing great.
► 01:17:46
Don't let anybody lie to you.
► 01:17:50
Maybe next time we schmooze them into free health care.
► 01:17:52
Maybe next time we schmooze them into a Protect Our Parks.
► 01:17:54
Yeah, the guys are dropping in here.
► 01:17:56
Just some free health care.
► 01:17:57
Come on, dog.
► 01:17:59
It's crazy, too, because there was a pill I had to get, like three of.
► 01:18:02
When I went to Asia or something, and it was like, I got two here, and they cost me like $400 each.
► 01:18:06
And then the same, it's the same drug.
► 01:18:08
In Myanmar, it's like $40.
► 01:18:09
Well, that's one thing that he has fixed.
► 01:18:11
One thing that Trump is working on is making whatever the low price is internationally, the price that people pay in America.
► 01:18:18
And he told, he's fucking hilarious.
► 01:18:20
He was telling a story.
► 01:18:20
I've got a friend, I don't want to say his name, very successful.
► 01:18:24
He's a big guy.
► 01:18:25
He took the fat pill, it didn't work.
► 01:18:29
But he was going on about how his friend went overseas, he forgot his fat pill.
► 01:18:33
He went overseas and he was in Europe and he got it for like 100 bucks.
► 01:18:37
Yeah.
► 01:18:37
And he's like, this is like $1,300 in America.
► 01:18:40
It's crazy.
► 01:18:40
It's not right.
► 01:18:41
It's not right.
► 01:18:42
And so he made it so that whatever the low cost is in these other countries, that's the low cost in America.
► 01:18:48
That's what it costs here now.
► 01:18:49
Is that right?
► 01:18:49
Yes.
► 01:18:49
That's good.
► 01:18:50
Everybody's on it.
► 01:18:51
It's like you're not going to get all good.
► 01:18:53
Any drug.
► 01:18:54
You're not going to get all good with any president either.
► 01:18:57
You're going to get a lot of bad shit because all these people are surrounded by demons.
► 01:19:01
They're surrounded by war hawks and demons and defense contractors and scam artists in the pharmaceutical industry.
► 01:19:08
There's all these fucking people that are trying to make sure that they can make the most amount of money possible.
► 01:19:13
Just all coke snorting demons, allegedly.
► 01:19:16
I was watching this documentary on the homeless here in Austin, and they're talking about how I was on schizophrenia medicine.
► 01:19:23
I can't afford it anymore.
► 01:19:25
And they're out there just sprinting around.
► 01:19:27
What happens if you take schizophrenia medicine and you don't have schizophrenia?
► 01:19:31
Ooh, that's a fucking lie.
► 01:19:32
I think I did that.
► 01:19:33
A couple shots.
► 01:19:34
I think I took some antipsychotics and slept for four days.
► 01:19:38
Huge mistake.
► 01:19:40
It helps you.
► 01:19:40
I think it's a fucking antipsychotic.
► 01:19:42
He was like, here, take this.
► 01:19:44
Does he take it?
► 01:19:45
I don't know if he takes it.
► 01:19:46
It was expired, so I guess not.
► 01:19:48
Jesus Christ.
► 01:19:49
It helps.
► 01:19:49
Yeah, but expired medication, I was just reading this thing about that.
► 01:19:51
Like, most expired medication is actually still usable, like, up to 300% longer than they say it.
► 01:19:57
Yeah, it's like, A little bit less effective, but still good.
► 01:20:00
Yeah.
► 01:20:01
Yeah, but I don't even know if it's less effective.
► 01:20:03
This thing was saying that it's 100% effective for a long period of time after the expiration date.
► 01:20:08
I don't know why they have an expiration date.
► 01:20:10
It's not like milk.
► 01:20:11
Right.
► 01:20:11
Yeah, the healthcare thing is really embarrassing, to be honest.
► 01:20:14
It's really embarrassing.
► 01:20:15
Mental institutions and some free healthcare for these fellas.
► 01:20:17
Yeah, silence.
► 01:20:18
I don't know how to.
► 01:20:19
Obviously, no one knows that.
► 01:20:20
Yeah, we got to do something.
► 01:20:21
A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right?
► 01:20:22
A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right?
► 01:20:25
A giant percentage of those people are addicted to fentanyl zombies.
► 01:20:27
You need Ibogaine for all those people, mental health.
► 01:20:30
Facilities, you need to get them on whatever medication to fix their schizophrenia, and it's also not even like a goodwill thing, it's also like we need to clean their cars.
► 01:20:39
Self safety, yeah, it's for everybody.
► 01:20:42
So, what are we doing?
► 01:20:43
Why, whatever Skid Row, Los Angeles, holdup Skid Row in Los Angeles is 50 blocks.
► 01:20:49
50 blocks, five zeros.
► 01:20:52
Last time I looked, it said American health care, Americans pay more than two times the next country for health care, and we get the 17th best coverage.
► 01:21:01
And we're the sickest.
► 01:21:03
We're the sickest.
► 01:21:03
Yeah.
► 01:21:04
It's nuts.
► 01:21:04
We spend the most money.
► 01:21:05
And we're the sickest.
► 01:21:10
And we're the sickest.
► 01:21:11
And Toronto, it was clean.
► 01:21:13
Yeah, you just go right to a doctor.
► 01:21:17
Even just driving around, I was like, this is crazy.
► 01:21:20
How are we getting.
► 01:21:24
Why is America dumb?
► 01:21:26
I know.
► 01:21:27
I know.
► 01:21:28
And our shit is locked up.
► 01:21:31
Short, they're gonna watch them now.
► 01:21:35
I got a lot of them.
America Is The Sickest
00:09:33
► 01:21:37
I'll just do it just for a little bit of a thrill.
► 01:21:40
Can I get the Winona Rider thing?
► 01:21:42
It's cheaper, too.
► 01:21:43
Yeah, it's cheaper.
► 01:21:44
I mean, the last time I saw Mark Steele, we're in a movie theater and I got some popcorn.
► 01:21:50
And it's I'm sure it's closed by now.
► 01:21:52
And then the lady turned around and got my popcorn.
► 01:21:54
And then he just had beef jerky in the movie.
► 01:21:57
Yeah, they were selling it.
► 01:21:58
How'd you get that?
► 01:21:59
I guess most expensive item.
► 01:22:00
I just reached for it.
► 01:22:01
Yeah, oh boy, they up the prices.
► 01:22:05
I mean, you get a Hudson News cliff bar.
► 01:22:07
It's eight bucks.
► 01:22:08
Not on my watch.
► 01:22:09
It's ridiculous.
► 01:22:10
Not on my watch.
► 01:22:11
Once you're on the plane, you're home free, you know?
► 01:22:12
You're raising the cost for the rest of us.
► 01:22:14
Yeah, you are.
► 01:22:15
That's why I take buying cliff bars.
► 01:22:17
They put that in.
► 01:22:18
They factor the theft in.
► 01:22:19
You're a successful person.
► 01:22:21
That's outrageous.
► 01:22:22
Habits die hard.
► 01:22:23
Yeah, you don't.
► 01:22:24
I steal fish.
► 01:22:24
No one's going to be sympathetic towards you.
► 01:22:25
You have money.
► 01:22:26
I'm not asking you to.
► 01:22:27
I'm just saying it to them.
► 01:22:28
It's a fun ride.
► 01:22:29
I don't want it.
► 01:22:31
The beef jerky tastes better when it's stolen?
► 01:22:33
Easily.
► 01:22:33
Everything tastes better when it's stolen.
► 01:22:35
It's so weird.
► 01:22:36
Diaz, one time at the airport, he just comes off from one of those.
► 01:22:39
Bodegas and he comes on, he just shows me Tic Tacs.
► 01:22:41
And I was like, What is that for?
► 01:22:42
He goes, Yeah, right?
► 01:22:43
I got someone else.
► 01:22:44
And they just threw it in the garbage.
► 01:22:46
Wow.
► 01:22:46
And I was like, What are you doing?
► 01:22:47
He goes, I'm just trying to stay sharp.
► 01:22:49
That's a ballsy steel because it rattles.
► 01:22:51
That's a hard steel.
► 01:22:52
That's a hard steel.
► 01:22:53
That's right.
► 01:22:53
Chest bars quiet.
► 01:22:54
Sharp is hilarious.
► 01:22:56
Whoop it.
► 01:22:57
I don't throw it out either.
► 01:22:58
I don't throw it out.
► 01:22:59
Yeah.
► 01:23:00
Joey's going in for surgery today.
► 01:23:02
Uh oh.
► 01:23:02
Tits.
► 01:23:02
Nice.
► 01:23:03
He's getting some.
► 01:23:04
He's getting cannons.
► 01:23:05
He's getting a cannon reduction surgery.
► 01:23:08
He's getting top surgery.
► 01:23:10
He's getting his tits removed.
► 01:23:12
He's getting that big scar.
► 01:23:14
But him shirtless is rough.
► 01:23:16
How many times have you seen it?
► 01:23:17
Just once and it's burned in.
► 01:23:19
I've seen it.
► 01:23:21
It's Joey Karate.
► 01:23:23
Joey Carrady's great.
► 01:23:25
That fucking guy's such an animal.
► 01:23:28
He's a fucking guy.
► 01:23:29
He's got his leg up to about his knee height.
► 01:23:31
He's pretty good.
► 01:23:34
Is he around?
► 01:23:35
Did he move here yet?
► 01:23:36
No, but he's coming back and forth all the time.
► 01:23:38
There he is.
► 01:23:38
Look at that thing.
► 01:23:42
That looks like AI.
► 01:23:43
That's crazy.
► 01:23:43
Jesus.
► 01:23:44
How's he alive?
► 01:23:45
Without context of a background, it's wild.
► 01:23:47
Wow.
► 01:23:48
That belly is crazy.
► 01:23:49
You've got to have a decent hog if you're going to have that gut.
► 01:23:51
He's always got a hell of a hog.
► 01:23:52
Is he grubbing or boozing?
► 01:23:54
What is that?
► 01:23:55
Food.
► 01:23:55
He's grubbing.
► 01:23:56
Oh, yeah.
► 01:23:57
Joey can't stop beating.
► 01:23:58
He doesn't really drink.
► 01:23:59
He doesn't drink at all.
► 01:24:00
I go to eat with Joey.
► 01:24:01
It's a scene.
► 01:24:02
It's a fun time.
► 01:24:03
He loves it.
► 01:24:03
Oh, that poor ghee.
► 01:24:04
He goes off.
► 01:24:05
He eats.
► 01:24:08
He fucking loves food.
► 01:24:09
But he's just.
► 01:24:10
I've got a new Chinese place by my place.
► 01:24:11
You've got to come.
► 01:24:12
It's the most fun human.
► 01:24:13
It sucks.
► 01:24:15
He's the most fun human that's ever existed.
► 01:24:17
Yeah.
► 01:24:18
No one's more fun.
► 01:24:19
He's a good egg.
► 01:24:20
He's barely a real person.
► 01:24:21
He's a human cartoon.
► 01:24:22
Barely real.
► 01:24:23
He's so funny.
► 01:24:24
So he's still getting up on stage.
► 01:24:26
He's still doing sets.
► 01:24:27
Oh, he killed.
► 01:24:28
He killed.
► 01:24:29
He was here.
► 01:24:29
He did an hour.
► 01:24:31
He's got all these great stories.
► 01:24:32
It's really, really good.
► 01:24:34
Really well done.
► 01:24:35
All right.
► 01:24:36
This is the man.
► 01:24:36
Good to have him back.
► 01:24:39
That's the thing about comedy.
► 01:24:40
We're kind of losing the wildness.
► 01:24:43
You know, when I started comedy, it was like Geraldo and all these guys are all dead now.
► 01:24:47
Drugs.
► 01:24:47
I think it's kind of coming back now.
► 01:24:49
It's coming back.
► 01:24:50
I think it's coming back because TV's going away.
► 01:24:53
So it's like it gets down to the root of what is really effective in comedy.
► 01:24:56
Wildness is more effective.
► 01:24:58
It's more effective.
► 01:24:59
Fun.
► 01:24:59
If you're sitting there drunk in a crowd and some dudes on stage going off saying crazy shit, it's more fun.
► 01:25:05
Yeah, because you're doing this.
► 01:25:06
It is more fun, but I don't know if that's actually here.
► 01:25:07
I think there's a lot of fucking guys with jobs.
► 01:25:10
Sober, a lot of sobriety.
► 01:25:12
Got to get up early for a podcast tomorrow.
► 01:25:14
These young guys, though, these young guys aren't like that.
► 01:25:16
A lot of these young guys coming up are doing drugs.
► 01:25:18
They're doing clips.
► 01:25:19
Oh, good.
► 01:25:20
Well, they're doing clips, but they're still wild boys.
► 01:25:22
Some people are still giving it, bringing it.
► 01:25:24
You hope so.
► 01:25:25
Late Night in the Cello used to be so much fun.
► 01:25:28
I know.
► 01:25:28
When Mac he was drinking, when it was just a drinking crowd, it was a lot of whiskey.
► 01:25:32
There's.
► 01:25:33
There's that here.
► 01:25:34
Here.
► 01:25:35
Here for sure.
► 01:25:35
Yeah, here for sure.
► 01:25:36
Like last night.
► 01:25:37
Yeah, last night was tough.
► 01:25:37
We did it last night.
► 01:25:38
Yeah.
► 01:25:39
Oh, what happened?
► 01:25:39
What I missed?
► 01:25:40
We just had a couple drinks.
► 01:25:42
Just some bros and bros.
► 01:25:43
I was begging him to.
► 01:25:45
I've changed my new.
► 01:25:46
He has a new texture.
► 01:25:47
He's like, all right, come on, drink.
► 01:25:48
I'm like, no, I got to get up early tomorrow.
► 01:25:49
I was like, dude, I'm like, oh, you're going to call me gay and lame.
► 01:25:53
Bro, I've been gone.
► 01:25:54
I've had time to ruminate on this.
► 01:25:55
You can peer.
► 01:25:56
And then you can peer with the other guy.
► 01:25:57
Yeah, I got a new peer pressure.
► 01:25:58
Yeah, you got a new one.
► 01:25:58
No, I'm just saying, like, I want to drink and I want to be alone.
► 01:26:01
If you were a friend, I was like, tomorrow's going to be tough for me.
► 01:26:06
I'd like it to be tough for somebody else.
► 01:26:08
Do me a favor.
► 01:26:09
Chug that fucking drink.
► 01:26:10
Yeah.
► 01:26:12
Pier one.
► 01:26:12
He always comes in.
► 01:26:13
He has no idea what your count is.
► 01:26:15
He just comes in.
► 01:26:16
He goes, You could do more.
► 01:26:16
I'm like, I could have done one or seven and you would have no clue.
► 01:26:19
DeRose.
► 01:26:20
He's like, You got to go more.
► 01:26:21
DeRose is up there.
► 01:26:22
DeRose is the worst.
► 01:26:22
He's the number one.
► 01:26:25
He's the number one.
► 01:26:26
He's my birthday month.
► 01:26:27
Yes.
► 01:26:27
Yes.
► 01:26:27
He's like a chick.
► 01:26:28
He's the biggest pig in comedy.
► 01:26:30
He is.
► 01:26:30
He's a pig, dude.
► 01:26:31
I hate him.
► 01:26:32
He'll pour shots in your mouth.
► 01:26:34
He doesn't care.
► 01:26:34
He'll tilt your hand.
► 01:26:35
He'll also go, Come on, don't be a pussy.
► 01:26:37
You do a shot and then you do, and then.
► 01:26:39
10 minutes later, he's gone and he's at KFC.
► 01:26:44
He's so funny how he shits on weed people, too.
► 01:26:46
I know.
► 01:26:47
He hates weed.
► 01:26:48
It's so weird.
► 01:26:49
I like his classic drinker.
► 01:26:51
I'm with him, dude.
► 01:26:52
He's a classic drinker.
► 01:26:53
I think he was just around a lot of all the New York comics got sober and then just smoked weed constantly.
► 01:26:58
Got bored.
► 01:26:59
And then they're like, oh, you're drinking again?
► 01:27:01
It's like, dude, you haven't had a thought in fucking seven years.
► 01:27:04
What are you talking to?
► 01:27:06
It's all munchies.
► 01:27:09
I mean, everything can be abused.
► 01:27:11
There's only a couple people in comedy that do weed like real good, like Soder, Soder, Jay.
► 01:27:16
Sure.
► 01:27:16
Where they're like, they're just the same.
► 01:27:18
Go on, man.
► 01:27:18
They're just happy.
► 01:27:19
Chappelle.
► 01:27:20
Spell.
► 01:27:21
Because, yes, most people go in on weed.
► 01:27:23
Freeze low.
► 01:27:23
They still are out and fun.
► 01:27:25
Right.
► 01:27:25
It's a personality thing.
► 01:27:27
Totally.
► 01:27:27
They're still active.
► 01:27:29
Yeah, most people.
► 01:27:29
It's also, I think, a biological thing because I think it affects people very differently.
► 01:27:33
Definitely.
► 01:27:34
Can you get high when you smoke?
► 01:27:35
Yeah, Jamie gets high when he smokes.
► 01:27:37
Okay, cool.
► 01:27:37
Edibles just don't work on the kid.
► 01:27:38
Wow.
► 01:27:39
That's wild.
► 01:27:40
Young Jamie shrugs him off.
► 01:27:41
That's crazy.
► 01:27:42
You try to dose him up, he'll smile right in your face.
► 01:27:44
Jamie, I'd like you to have a brewsky.
► 01:27:46
What's going on?
► 01:27:46
It'd be nice.
► 01:27:47
Give it, Mark.
► 01:27:48
We talked about this earlier, and I'd love for you to get involved.
► 01:27:51
You talked at me.
► 01:27:51
I didn't really.
► 01:27:53
Uh oh.
► 01:27:54
Put on the beer.
► 01:27:55
Put on the beer.
► 01:27:55
All of a sudden, I'm talking.
► 01:27:56
Well, it worked.
► 01:27:57
He's drinking.
► 01:27:57
Yeah.
► 01:28:00
It works.
► 01:28:00
He said something nasty, and that's fine.
► 01:28:02
I'm not going to give you for that.
► 01:28:03
He said, You talked at me.
► 01:28:05
I'm trying to include you and have it.
► 01:28:06
Let's have fun.
► 01:28:07
JMo's a sassy bitch.
► 01:28:08
He's just being, just clarifying.
► 01:28:10
He's an assassin.
► 01:28:11
He talked at me.
► 01:28:11
I didn't talk at you.
► 01:28:12
How did I talk at you?
► 01:28:13
Well, you said it was a discussion.
► 01:28:14
I mean, it was one of those.
► 01:28:15
Yeah, a little discussion.
► 01:28:16
And then I said, Let's go watch Sixers Celtics.
► 01:28:18
Let's have a couple beers.
► 01:28:18
I thought it was a great night.
► 01:28:19
Go to a bar and watch the Celtics.
► 01:28:21
Sixers.
► 01:28:23
Yeah.
► 01:28:23
Peer pressure.
► 01:28:24
Fun times.
► 01:28:25
You can upload it with four beers or something.
► 01:28:28
You're Piers Morgan.
► 01:28:30
Yeah, leave it till Monday.
► 01:28:31
We don't care.
► 01:28:32
When do you get in that car?
► 01:28:34
Tomorrow.
► 01:28:35
A tree fell on his car.
► 01:28:37
I know.
► 01:28:37
I crashed my car.
► 01:28:38
Really?
► 01:28:38
From what?
► 01:28:39
The winds here?
► 01:28:40
They were doing some fucking road work right in front of my house and the vibrations.
► 01:28:45
They're building Savage or Cross?
► 01:28:48
You got second towered?
► 01:28:50
Wow.
► 01:28:50
I really did.
► 01:28:53
The house I live in, I'm renting this house.
► 01:28:54
It's like one of those new.
► 01:28:57
Prefab, fucking, or whatever those things are.
► 01:28:58
These new Austin houses, which are all the exact same, which I kind of don't fucking like at all.
► 01:29:03
Is it the same one you've been in?
► 01:29:05
Yeah.
► 01:29:05
It's like a 15 foot ceiling for no reason.
► 01:29:07
It's one floor.
► 01:29:08
Elkhouse.
► 01:29:09
It has this type of wall.
► 01:29:11
It's like standard.
► 01:29:12
It's a beautiful house.
► 01:29:14
It is very nice.
► 01:29:14
And the last house I was in was a fucking Queens apartment.
► 01:29:18
Right.
► 01:29:19
That had more soul than this place.
► 01:29:21
More soul for sure.
► 01:29:22
But when I first walked into the house I'm in now, I was like, holy fuck.
► 01:29:26
This is incredible.
► 01:29:27
Yeah.
► 01:29:27
Yeah.
► 01:29:28
Now it's just not a fucking piece of shit.
► 01:29:31
It looks like a house from a porn.
► 01:29:32
It's an Airbnb, too.
► 01:29:34
It is an Airbnb.
► 01:29:35
Yeah.
► 01:29:35
It is weird how money changes you.
► 01:29:37
Yeah.
► 01:29:37
Like it changes what you're accustomed to.
► 01:29:39
Mm hmm.
► 01:29:40
You get a little accustomed to the stuff.
► 01:29:42
I was thinking about this.
► 01:29:43
Yeah.
► 01:29:44
You get accustomed to the nice things, but I keep trying to change and I'm just not really changing.
► 01:29:49
What do you mean? As a human?
► 01:29:50
Yeah.
► 01:29:51
The cement is dry.
► 01:29:52
You're always going to be Mechanicsburg.
► 01:29:53
Yeah.
► 01:29:54
It's Mechanicsburg.
► 01:29:54
It's light beers.
► 01:29:55
It's like all of a sudden I realized I'm just getting drunk at higher places.
► 01:29:59
Right.
► 01:29:59
Like, I'm just in a taller building getting drunk.
► 01:30:01
Yeah, with more expensive beer.
► 01:30:02
It's the exact same beer.
► 01:30:03
It's the exact same beer.
► 01:30:05
Everybody at Deep Creek.
► 01:30:06
It's the same beer, but the price is bad.
► 01:30:07
Oh, yeah.
► 01:30:08
Everybody at Deep Creek was like poor white trash in like Maryland.
► 01:30:11
And then they got rich.
► 01:30:12
And when they were poor, we could just barely afford one Bud Light.
► 01:30:15
And now they're rich, like, 10 Bud Lights.
► 01:30:17
What is that?
► 01:30:18
Deep Creek Lake is where pontooners go to parties.
► 01:30:20
Yeah, pontoons.
► 01:30:21
Where is that?
► 01:30:22
It's like deep, almost by West Virginia.
► 01:30:25
Oh, it's a giant lake.
► 01:30:26
It rules.
► 01:30:28
Same with New Orleans.
► 01:30:29
We'd go out to the Boga Chita and tube all day.
► 01:30:31
Yeah.
► 01:30:31
Remember tubing?
► 01:30:32
Tubebing.
► 01:30:32
You sit on a river with a beer and a float and a snake.
► 01:30:34
If you got a piss, you just jump down and walk along the way.
► 01:30:36
You jump down.
► 01:30:37
Yeah, you just pee in the water.
► 01:30:38
I think it's good that you're not changing.
► 01:30:40
It's a good sign.
► 01:30:41
I'll change.
► 01:30:41
It'd be nice if I could.
► 01:30:43
Nah.
► 01:30:44
Nah, I think you'd change a little.
► 01:30:45
It'd ruin you.
► 01:30:46
You got some good stuff going on.
► 01:30:48
Literally, if you said this to Shane yesterday, if you go, you've changed, he'd be like, What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
► 01:30:54
Well, it's just wrong.
► 01:30:55
I know.
► 01:30:56
And I'd go, God damn, I wish I could.
► 01:30:57
He dressed the same.
► 01:30:59
But you're not going to stay in a Holiday Express.
► 01:31:01
Sure.
► 01:31:02
You've stayed in this hotel.
► 01:31:03
You've handled fame very well.
► 01:31:04
Shane, you've handled it pretty well.
► 01:31:05
You haven't gotten weird at all.
► 01:31:07
Some people get weird just from the pressure of it.
► 01:31:09
Almost everybody.
Lenny Bruce YouTube Clips
00:15:15
► 01:31:10
Yeah.
► 01:31:11
Almost everybody.
► 01:31:12
98% get different.
► 01:31:14
I'm thinking of eight comics in my head right now who have gone full diva.
► 01:31:17
Yeah, they get weird.
► 01:31:18
It's very strange.
► 01:31:20
Shane, I know you have not changed.
► 01:31:21
Oh, the bottle?
► 01:31:22
You've changed, bro.
► 01:31:23
You've probably changed.
► 01:31:26
What the fuck?
► 01:31:27
Wait, you 40-40 motherfucker.
► 01:31:29
You work for Israel.
► 01:31:30
Now, this is.
► 01:31:32
That's a change.
► 01:31:33
That's a change.
► 01:31:33
Some people like the aluminum taste.
► 01:31:36
Bottle beer taste in a can.
► 01:31:37
There was a commercial I remember when I was little.
► 01:31:38
What?
► 01:31:39
It was some beer, and they go bottle beer taste in a can.
► 01:31:43
I was like, is bottle beer better?
► 01:31:44
Some people like the aluminum flavor.
► 01:31:47
Yeah.
► 01:31:48
I like.
► 01:31:49
Give me a glass bottle of Bottle Beater.
► 01:31:54
Keystone.
► 01:31:54
That's what it was.
► 01:31:55
Bottle Beater beer.
► 01:31:57
What?
► 01:31:57
My memory served?
► 01:31:58
Bad beer.
► 01:31:59
Just across those Keystones.
► 01:32:00
This is a commercial from 1948.
► 01:32:03
That's what I remember.
► 01:32:04
Look how grainy it is.
► 01:32:05
I remember Israel got independence and I was watching this commercial.
► 01:32:08
Yeah, have you guys watched the Hogan Doc?
► 01:32:11
It's good, dude.
► 01:32:12
I fucking cry.
► 01:32:13
Really?
► 01:32:14
It's so good.
► 01:32:15
When he's getting sued for taking down Belzer, he rules.
► 01:32:18
And he's like, I was making $3,500 a month and I'm getting sued for $500,000.
► 01:32:22
I was famous but not rich.
► 01:32:23
And they're like, what are we going to do?
► 01:32:25
Oh, he rules.
► 01:32:26
I didn't even know he got sued for that.
► 01:32:28
To go into MSG, I mean, he choked the guy on Contras.
► 01:32:31
He's been in class.
► 01:32:31
He's been in class.
► 01:32:32
He's had a lot of problems everywhere.
► 01:32:35
He could have, John Jones used to do this all the time, but at least it was soft mat.
► 01:32:38
This was like hard floor, and he just threw it off.
► 01:32:40
Yeah, but John Jones was doing a UFC fight against Miyoto Machito.
► 01:32:43
Someone who agreed.
► 01:32:45
He does it, and then if he just laid him down, he'd be like point proven.
► 01:32:50
Right.
► 01:32:50
But he had to bring it.
► 01:32:51
He's on TV.
► 01:32:52
He couldn't have that.
► 01:32:52
He's drunk and on steroids.
► 01:32:55
And on coke.
► 01:32:56
And someone's like, yo, your shit's fake.
► 01:32:58
Is that what Bowser said?
► 01:32:59
That it's fake?
► 01:33:00
It's so funny, too, because he's like, oh, you think I'm fake?
► 01:33:03
Is that fake?
► 01:33:03
You're like, no, but you don't do that.
► 01:33:05
When I'm talking, it is fake.
► 01:33:07
Do you remember when John Stossel confronted that wrestler backstage?
► 01:33:10
Yeah, it was great.
► 01:33:10
And the wrestler just bitch slapped him a bunch of times, slapped the fuck out of him.
► 01:33:14
I think that ruined that guy's career, though.
► 01:33:16
Stossel or the wrestler?
► 01:33:17
The wrestler.
► 01:33:17
Yeah.
► 01:33:18
I never heard of this.
► 01:33:19
I don't know.
► 01:33:19
I think, who was the wrestler?
► 01:33:21
Stossel's still around.
► 01:33:22
Stossel's still around, but I think it ruined the wrestler's career.
► 01:33:24
Whoa.
► 01:33:25
Because he beat the fuck out of him.
► 01:33:26
He looks like, Yeah, he can.
► 01:33:27
I feel like in my head he looks like Sid Vicious.
► 01:33:29
Well, he's a giant dude, and he bitch slapped him open palm to the ear, which could definitely make you go deaf.
► 01:33:35
But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his prime or anybody, like, I think what you do is fake, they'd be like, it's not.
► 01:33:42
John Stossel was slapped twice by WWF wrestler Dr. D. David Schultz backstage in Madison Square Garden after calling pro wrestling fake during a 2020 expose.
► 01:33:50
The incident left Stossel with pain and ringing in his ears, leading to a lawsuit against WWF.
► 01:33:56
Jewish wrestler.
► 01:33:57
You think.
► 01:33:58
He made money.
► 01:33:58
Oh, he just slipped right out.
► 01:34:00
Oh, shit.
► 01:34:00
I was like, at least he's not pissing in a kombucha jar.
► 01:34:02
He probably is.
► 01:34:03
Give it on Alan.
► 01:34:04
Here it is.
► 01:34:04
So he's grabbing him.
► 01:34:06
He gets him in this sleeper hold and he slumps and then he just drops him.
► 01:34:11
Head hit the floor hard.
► 01:34:12
How professional is he, though, when he gets home?
► 01:34:14
This incident is from a 1985 episode of.
► 01:34:16
What the fuck?
► 01:34:19
So Belzer was talking shit, saying it was fake.
► 01:34:22
Great host, though.
► 01:34:23
He pops right up and goes to commercials.
► 01:34:24
All right, we'll be right back.
► 01:34:25
Yeah.
► 01:34:26
Head's bleeding and everything.
► 01:34:28
That is crazy.
► 01:34:29
Oh, wow.
► 01:34:29
Look at the blood on the back of his head.
► 01:34:32
It's spurting out on his jacket.
► 01:34:34
Look at that.
► 01:34:35
What a pro.
► 01:34:36
Yeah, that is.
► 01:34:37
Chris Rock could have learned today.
► 01:34:38
He's quite professional.
► 01:34:39
He seems happy.
► 01:34:40
Look at Mr. T.
► 01:34:41
He doesn't seem upset at all.
► 01:34:43
And then he sued.
► 01:34:45
Yep.
► 01:34:45
But you got to be a pro.
► 01:34:47
But also, you got to be, you know.
► 01:34:51
I mean, his head looked like Kennedy.
► 01:34:54
$400,000 settlement.
► 01:34:55
Next.
► 01:34:56
Famously used the money to buy a home in France, jokingly named it Shea Hogan.
► 01:35:01
That's fun.
► 01:35:01
He bought a house in France.
► 01:35:03
He lived in France for a while.
► 01:35:04
And then he was still a Jew.
► 01:35:05
He's had to be.
► 01:35:06
Yeah.
► 01:35:07
Got a lawsuit for that.
► 01:35:08
Litigious.
► 01:35:10
Yeah.
► 01:35:10
He didn't used to pay medical bills.
► 01:35:11
He bought a house.
► 01:35:12
Yeah.
► 01:35:13
That means it's a bonus.
► 01:35:14
In France.
► 01:35:15
That's a Jew move.
► 01:35:16
And I think he was still doing that Law and Order show and just flying back and forth to France.
► 01:35:20
I met him once.
► 01:35:21
It's the funniest thing because I saw him in like early, early, like doing those late night shows, you know, as a kid.
► 01:35:25
And it was like, oh, that's a comedian.
► 01:35:27
And then he's done a lot of comics have this trajectory do nothing comedic.
► 01:35:31
Yep.
► 01:35:32
It's like comedic coded serious.
► 01:35:34
Well, he was a comic.
► 01:35:35
Yeah.
► 01:35:35
He did a lot of comedy.
► 01:35:36
I saw him do stand up in Boston in the 80s.
► 01:35:39
In the 80s.
► 01:35:39
But then he became like just serious, just a funny guy in serious roles and not even that funny.
► 01:35:44
No.
► 01:35:44
And then dropped stand up.
► 01:35:46
Just drop.
► 01:35:48
It's so easy.
► 01:35:49
It's that velvet prison.
► 01:35:50
They start giving you money.
► 01:35:51
You start showing up.
► 01:35:53
You're in service.
► 01:35:54
You're eating.
► 01:35:55
Stand up as a blue collar guy.
► 01:35:56
Also, his co worker is a guy who made a song called Cop Killer.
► 01:36:00
He's like, I'm rich now too.
► 01:36:02
We're both rich.
► 01:36:02
Don't even worry about who we used to be.
► 01:36:04
Chris Maloney.
► 01:36:04
Yeah.
► 01:36:05
That's interesting.
► 01:36:06
Not Chris Maloney.
► 01:36:09
Yeah, eventually they go, I'm just not that guy.
► 01:36:11
I'm not 25 anymore.
► 01:36:12
I know, but I mean, it's still a Carlin did it till he died.
► 01:36:14
Carlin was a real one.
► 01:36:16
Yeah, Rickles.
► 01:36:17
Rickles did it until he died.
► 01:36:18
No.
► 01:36:18
Rivers.
► 01:36:18
But Carl was like anti establishment, never changed who he was.
► 01:36:22
Tell us what Belzer was beginning.
► 01:36:24
He was kind of a guy.
► 01:36:25
He was very conspiracy theory.
► 01:36:27
He wrote a book on Elvis, Bigfoot, and flying saucers, I think it was.
► 01:36:31
Wow.
► 01:36:32
I read it back in the day.
► 01:36:33
It's a conspiracy theory book by Belzer.
► 01:36:35
You wrote five different conspiracy books.
► 01:36:36
What?
► 01:36:37
Really?
► 01:36:37
What the fuck?
► 01:36:38
UFOs, JFKs, and Elvis.
► 01:36:40
Conspiracies you don't have to be crazy to believe.
► 01:36:42
Wow.
► 01:36:43
Dead Wrongs, straight facts on the country's most controversial cover ups.
► 01:36:46
Hit list, an in depth investigation into mysterious deaths of witnesses, the JFK assassination.
► 01:36:51
Wow.
► 01:36:51
He's ahead of his time with that shit.
► 01:36:53
Yeah, he was an interesting guy.
► 01:36:54
Juanon.
► 01:36:56
Very interesting guy.
► 01:36:58
Wow.
► 01:36:59
People loved him.
► 01:37:00
He was a respected comedian.
► 01:37:01
He was a crowd work guy.
► 01:37:02
He was the host.
► 01:37:03
He was always the host.
► 01:37:04
Yeah.
► 01:37:04
He did crowd work for SNL for five years.
► 01:37:06
Oh!
► 01:37:07
Wow.
► 01:37:08
Really?
► 01:37:08
Crowd warm up.
► 01:37:09
Wow.
► 01:37:10
Back in the day, he was, you know, like a comics comic.
► 01:37:14
Yeah.
► 01:37:14
But there was a bunch of those guys.
► 01:37:15
Like, Leno was the comics comic.
► 01:37:17
Totally.
► 01:37:18
Back in the day.
► 01:37:19
When I started, they were like the second best guy.
► 01:37:21
They also prior.
► 01:37:21
But like, the second best comic.
► 01:37:23
Who is that going to be?
► 01:37:24
And a lot of people were like, it was Leno.
► 01:37:25
I'm like, Isn't that nuts?
► 01:37:27
Yeah.
► 01:37:27
What?
► 01:37:28
Apparently, in the 70s, he was a fucking animal.
► 01:37:30
That's what I hear.
► 01:37:31
Like, you get that for a reason.
► 01:37:32
Yeah.
► 01:37:33
You don't just some open mic or who gets a Tonight Show.
► 01:37:36
Yeah, but it's that thing.
► 01:37:37
The Tonight Show was just the golden thing.
► 01:37:40
Oh, he's got bones.
► 01:37:41
Not the fucking eagle.
► 01:37:42
And he's got glasses on now.
► 01:37:44
Oh, that's a good one.
► 01:37:45
Eagles.
► 01:37:46
Da, da, da.
► 01:37:47
The 70s was like the golden era for those kind of comics.
► 01:37:51
Oh, yeah.
► 01:37:52
I mean, you had Carlin, he got, I think, four heart attacks from Coke.
► 01:37:56
Whoa, really?
► 01:37:57
Something like that, yeah.
► 01:37:59
Maybe Pryor was four and he was three, but they were both up there.
► 01:38:02
Jesus Christ.
► 01:38:03
I didn't know Carlin had that many heart attacks.
► 01:38:04
I mean, give it a goo, good JMO.
► 01:38:06
I could be.
► 01:38:07
How many heart attacks did Carl.
► 01:38:09
He had three heart attacks from cocaine.
► 01:38:10
I believe it was three.
► 01:38:11
Yeah.
► 01:38:12
We also had a pill problem for a while.
► 01:38:13
Yeah.
► 01:38:14
He had to get off pills.
► 01:38:15
This is like later in his life.
► 01:38:17
Right.
► 01:38:17
Like late in his life, he was hooked on the pills.
► 01:38:19
Oh, yeah.
► 01:38:20
Carlin.
► 01:38:20
Carlin.
► 01:38:21
Yeah.
► 01:38:21
Late in his life.
► 01:38:22
Big drug guy.
► 01:38:23
Deep into his 60s and 70s.
► 01:38:24
He was the coolest of all the old, amazing guys I met.
► 01:38:28
Shit.
► 01:38:28
He was up there for sure.
► 01:38:29
But like, I had to go get him a sandwich.
► 01:38:32
Really?
► 01:38:33
He did like a month at the store.
► 01:38:34
Shut up.
► 01:38:35
Yeah, a month of main room shows.
► 01:38:36
Oh, yeah.
► 01:38:37
What year?
► 01:38:37
2001, 2002, 2003.
► 01:38:40
Wow.
► 01:38:41
And I got him a Greenblatt statement.
► 01:38:43
I go, here you go.
► 01:38:43
He gave me 20 bucks.
► 01:38:44
I was like, oh, no, no.
► 01:38:45
Oh, man, they covered it.
► 01:38:46
He goes, I know.
► 01:38:47
It's for you.
► 01:38:48
I was like, oh, all right.
► 01:38:50
Sorry, Mr. Carl.
► 01:38:51
He goes, don't call me that.
► 01:38:52
Yeah, he was cool.
► 01:38:53
George.
► 01:38:53
He was very unassuming.
► 01:38:55
He was hanging out in the back area by the parking lot.
► 01:38:57
He would also sit in the back in Mitzi's chair.
► 01:38:59
You know, that one.
► 01:39:00
And if you did well, he stayed open mic sometimes, but only if you did well.
► 01:39:04
He'd be like, good job, man.
► 01:39:05
Wow.
► 01:39:06
And then other people didn't, and he'd be like, hi.
► 01:39:08
Yeah.
► 01:39:09
Wow.
► 01:39:09
He's in the movie once.
► 01:39:10
Yeah, he was a real comic.
► 01:39:12
I did a book signing because he had all those books, and I brought like, Four books to meet him at Borders on Wall Street.
► 01:39:18
And I waited in line, and all these people are going, I love you in Jersey Girl.
► 01:39:21
I love you in Bill and Ted's.
► 01:39:22
And I was like, ah, these people don't know comedy.
► 01:39:23
So I went up and I was like, I love this special, back in town, amazing, whatever.
► 01:39:27
And he goes, what do you do?
► 01:39:29
I go, I'm a comic.
► 01:39:29
He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around.
► 01:39:33
That's what he said.
► 01:39:34
Jacking around.
► 01:39:34
I don't even know what that means.
► 01:39:35
It was jacking around me.
► 01:39:36
It seemed like he hated me.
► 01:39:39
You got a real talent for jacking around.
► 01:39:41
It does seem like he hated me.
► 01:39:42
He goes, you sound like a comic.
► 01:39:43
I go, oh, yeah.
► 01:39:44
He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around.
► 01:39:46
Jacking around.
► 01:39:47
I don't know what that means, but I'll take it.
► 01:39:49
70s lingo.
► 01:39:50
Yeah.
► 01:39:50
I mean, he was around the day when Lenny Bruce was around.
► 01:39:53
Oh, yeah, he got arrested at his show.
► 01:39:55
Did he really?
► 01:39:56
He got arrested with Lenny Bruce?
► 01:39:57
Yeah, they were in the same cop car.
► 01:39:58
Really?
► 01:39:58
It's a big story.
► 01:40:00
That was his hero.
► 01:40:01
Carla came into Shop Left.
► 01:40:04
What?
► 01:40:05
Delete that, Jamie.
► 01:40:07
No.
► 01:40:07
Jamie, delete that, please.
► 01:40:08
That was a dry ball.
► 01:40:11
Jamie, delete that, please.
► 01:40:13
I didn't catch this.
► 01:40:14
We didn't even know you were joking.
► 01:40:16
We all tried to sort it out.
► 01:40:17
Like, what?
► 01:40:18
Am I missing this?
► 01:40:18
What does he mean by that?
► 01:40:19
Leave it to Israel to bomb.
► 01:40:27
Those guys paved the fucking road.
► 01:40:30
Tell you that.
► 01:40:30
Getting arrested for jokes.
► 01:40:32
Forget a heckler or some blogger.
► 01:40:34
What?
► 01:40:35
Going to jail.
► 01:40:36
Ruined Lenny Bruce's life.
► 01:40:37
Totally.
► 01:40:37
At the end of his life, he was just reading off court transcripts on stage, and the people get so bummed out.
► 01:40:42
They're like, hey, tell some jokes.
► 01:40:43
Yeah, like, we're here for you to do the thing.
► 01:40:45
There's video of it.
► 01:40:46
I bought video back in the day, VHS tapes of his recordings.
► 01:40:50
And one of the recordings was him on stage.
► 01:40:54
In this small club, like just reading off court transcripts.
► 01:40:57
And it was just terrible.
► 01:40:58
It's like guys who get canceled and that's all they talk about.
► 01:41:00
Right, right.
► 01:41:01
That's what happens.
► 01:41:02
Yeah, that can.
► 01:41:03
It becomes their thing.
► 01:41:04
It's so crazy.
► 01:41:05
You did an offhanded thing and then now it's your everything.
► 01:41:09
You got beaten one race by a chick and now that's your whole life by a trans chick.
► 01:41:13
That one, she went nuts.
► 01:41:15
That girl who lost, who came in fifth at her fucking race by a trans chick.
► 01:41:18
Hold on a second.
► 01:41:18
That one's kind of fair.
► 01:41:19
Yeah, that's another thing.
► 01:41:20
She should go, why the fuck is this allowed?
► 01:41:22
Not 10 years later.
► 01:41:24
What are you talking about?
► 01:41:24
When she's still late in her life.
► 01:41:25
What do you mean?
► 01:41:26
A comic got beaten in a race?
► 01:41:27
Not a comic.
► 01:41:28
I don't like your analogies.
► 01:41:29
I don't know.
► 01:41:30
She's a female athlete who lost to a trans athlete.
► 01:41:32
She's going, we should have laws about this.
► 01:41:34
Which one?
► 01:41:35
Oh, that's Riley Gaines.
► 01:41:36
It's her whole fucking personality now.
► 01:41:38
She didn't go to school for that.
► 01:41:39
She was on a track.
► 01:41:41
One thing happened, and that she's like completely changed.
► 01:41:44
Same as when comics get canceled.
► 01:41:45
It's like, oh, that's all BFRL.
► 01:41:46
She had a good point because not only did she not lose to that person, the Leah guy, but tied.
► 01:41:53
And then the Leah guy got the trophy.
► 01:41:55
No, no, no.
► 01:41:55
But there's more to that.
► 01:41:57
Oh, yeah, Thomas.
► 01:41:57
No, they tied for fourth.
► 01:42:00
Yeah, for sure.
► 01:42:00
Fourth and fifth.
► 01:42:01
And they go, hey, we only have four trophies.
► 01:42:03
We're going to get killed if we don't give it to the trans lady.
► 01:42:06
Can we just send you one later?
► 01:42:07
Do you know how crazy that is, though?
► 01:42:09
Do you know how crazy that is?
► 01:42:10
You give it to a guy who pretended he's a trans lady?
► 01:42:12
I'd be mad if that was at a fucking comedy competition.
► 01:42:14
First and fourth.
► 01:42:14
No one saw.
► 01:42:15
No, they'll say, we'll send it to you next week.
► 01:42:17
Well, wait, why is the guy coming in fourth?
► 01:42:19
He should be one.
► 01:42:20
Yeah, for sure.
► 01:42:21
This guy sucks.
► 01:42:22
All of them lost.
► 01:42:22
Well, he sucked.
► 01:42:23
There was a first, second, and third, and none of those people involved came in first, second, and third.
► 01:42:27
First, second, and third, nobody cares about.
► 01:42:29
Fourth and fifth is what they're arguing about.
► 01:42:32
Wait, I don't understand what your argument is, though.
► 01:42:35
Oh.
► 01:42:35
It's like, who cares?
► 01:42:36
It's like, yeah, I'm streaming.
► 01:42:37
No, no, no.
► 01:42:37
To make it your whole life after that is what you're saying about canceled comics.
► 01:42:40
They become that thing.
► 01:42:41
I understand, but.
► 01:42:42
She was going to school for not that.
► 01:42:45
And now that's her job.
► 01:42:46
Who cares what they're going to school for?
► 01:42:48
You're saying it changed your whole trajectory.
► 01:42:50
What'd you go to school for, bitch?
► 01:42:51
English, literature, breaking down analysis of life and stuff.
► 01:42:54
Are you doing well on that right now?
► 01:42:56
Yeah, pretty much.
► 01:42:57
Yeah, you're doing terrible at that.
► 01:42:58
This moment right here that's failing you.
► 01:43:01
No, you say these canceled comics go and they can make that their whole life.
► 01:43:04
This chick is not doing that.
► 01:43:06
She tied a race for fourth and fifth, and now that's all she does for a living.
► 01:43:09
What is an example of a canceled comic that's made it their whole life?
► 01:43:13
Who are you talking about?
► 01:43:14
I don't want to name anybody.
► 01:43:15
Right.
► 01:43:16
But we've just talked about that.
► 01:43:17
There's a lot of people that are on Netflix.
► 01:43:18
I understand what you're saying.
► 01:43:20
Sort of.
► 01:43:20
Jew is on Netflix.
► 01:43:22
Jew's on Netflix.
► 01:43:22
It's on Netflix now.
► 01:43:23
That is pretty cool that Netflix bought it and posted it on YouTube.
► 01:43:26
They didn't buy it, they're just putting it up.
► 01:43:29
Ah!
► 01:43:29
Fucking Jew.
► 01:43:29
That's fine.
► 01:43:30
Fucking Jew.
► 01:43:31
I don't care.
► 01:43:31
You get the eyeballs.
► 01:43:32
It was already on YouTube.
► 01:43:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:43:34
No, absolutely.
► 01:43:35
Can you keep it on YouTube as well, or do you have to take it down?
► 01:43:37
Hey, that's very interesting.
► 01:43:38
How many views did it have on YouTube?
► 01:43:40
Millions.
► 01:43:41
Eight million.
► 01:43:42
Eight million.
► 01:43:42
It should have been six.
► 01:43:43
Nice.
► 01:43:44
That would have been great.
► 01:43:45
Bro, Shane at the Creek is like 50.
► 01:43:47
53.
► 01:43:47
That's insane.
► 01:43:48
Yeah, there's an Indian guy that.
► 01:43:50
Broke the record in a week.
► 01:43:53
Wow.
► 01:43:53
Oh, is that a good idea?
► 01:43:55
Somebody sent it to me and they're like, he broke your record in a week.
► 01:43:59
Damn.
► 01:44:00
It was 55 minutes.
► 01:44:00
Is it in Indian?
► 01:44:01
Is it in Hindi?
► 01:44:02
Yeah.
► 01:44:03
Is it the Canons guy?
► 01:44:03
Yeah, it's 50 languages.
► 01:44:05
Yeah, he's gone.
► 01:44:06
Yeah, this is crazy.
► 01:44:07
There's billions of them.
► 01:44:09
But how do you know with this is a thing with views these days, though.
► 01:44:13
There's companies that will jack your views up.
► 01:44:16
Yeah, but that's.
► 01:44:16
Sure, you've got to pay for that.
► 01:44:17
Yeah, but you could pay for it, but you could get millions of views that way.
► 01:44:20
You could see the difference in like.
► 01:44:22
We always do this when we talk shit about people who do it.
► 01:44:23
Engagement?
► 01:44:24
Yeah, they're like 5 million views, 30 comments.
► 01:44:30
Right, right, right.
► 01:44:31
What is a view?
► 01:44:32
How much do you have to watch for a view to count?
► 01:44:34
I think it's just a click and click off counts as a view.
► 01:44:37
That's a good question.
► 01:44:38
The best is when you send someone, like an agent or something, a clip for them to see, and they go, We watch it, we're not happy with it.
► 01:44:44
And then you look at it, you're like, Still has zero views.
► 01:44:47
It's a private clip.
► 01:44:48
You definitely didn't watch it.
► 01:44:50
We liked it, we're not happy with it.
► 01:44:53
Or more embarrassing when someone sends you something.
► 01:44:55
Like I just did.
► 01:44:57
That guy sent me something that I've watched it 30 times over and over.
► 01:45:00
And it's just me, and he's going to see all the views are just me going.
► 01:45:04
It's a private one.
► 01:45:05
That's so sick.
► 01:45:07
Oh, that's so sick.
► 01:45:08
I feel bad for Young Comics.
► 01:45:10
Everything is about views, shares, number of followers.
► 01:45:13
How many followers do you have?
► 01:45:14
It's not even about funny.
► 01:45:15
Yeah.
► 01:45:16
I still think it is, though.
► 01:45:18
It is.
► 01:45:18
I think eventually the cream rises, but managers will literally be like, we've got to hire this guy.
► 01:45:22
They don't know shit.
► 01:45:22
Well, yeah, they're not going to.
► 01:45:24
It's kind of like the industry in general.
► 01:45:25
They're like, how much.
► 01:45:26
Money, did your movie make?
► 01:45:27
And then if they don't mind getting an Oscar nomination, but that's not what they're really in it for.
► 01:45:33
I just, with the comics today being worried about you got to put out clips, you got to do that.
► 01:45:39
It's like, sure, yeah, it's like, do it, but it's like, build an act.
► 01:45:43
I don't know.
► 01:45:44
Comedians always have excuses for why they're not successful, which is fine.
► 01:45:48
Of course.
► 01:45:48
I did the exact same thing.
► 01:45:49
But they're all like, well, this guy, yeah, he's only got it because he put all those clips out and did all.
► 01:45:54
It's like, I don't know.
► 01:45:55
Whatever works.
► 01:45:56
Try to be.
► 01:45:56
Funny and yeah, who gives a fuck why someone's doing well?
► 01:45:59
Who gives a shit of a YouTuber selling out a comic club?
► 01:46:02
Who fucking cares?
► 01:46:02
It's not you.
► 01:46:03
What are you doing exactly?
► 01:46:04
Just do your shit.
► 01:46:05
And I understand, by the way, I understand.
► 01:46:07
I fucking loved that thing that you did where you did that documentary showing all the leading up to Boulder.
► 01:46:13
The new thing that you did, yeah, it was great.
► 01:46:15
The back crowds, the documentary, thanks.
► 01:46:17
It's great and it's a great insight as to like the development of bits.
► 01:46:21
I really, really enjoy it.
► 01:46:22
I wish you were my dad, yeah, yeah, by the way, I could be your dad, Mark.
Comedian Success Excuses
00:07:18
► 01:46:26
I want you to know he told me that behind your back earlier.
► 01:46:29
Yeah.
► 01:46:29
Whoa.
► 01:46:29
Me and Ram were just sitting out there.
► 01:46:30
He was like, You see that thing?
► 01:46:31
I was like, Fuck no, I'm not watching Mark's shit.
► 01:46:33
Yeah, it's an hour long.
► 01:46:35
It's good.
► 01:46:36
It's really good.
► 01:46:37
What is it?
► 01:46:37
On the way to the special?
► 01:46:38
Yeah, I did a 10 sold out at the Dallas Improv, and the special taped like a week or two later.
► 01:46:43
So I was just tweaking and fine tuning, and I filmed all the bombs and all that shit.
► 01:46:48
It's really great.
► 01:46:48
Cool.
► 01:46:49
It's really great because it's like him in a bodega going over the bits, like drinking coffee, reading over his lines, and then tweaking it and changing them.
► 01:46:57
Yeah.
► 01:46:57
Yeah.
► 01:46:58
Hour and 12 minutes.
► 01:46:59
Uh oh.
► 01:47:00
Not the gay quote.
► 01:47:01
That's gay.
► 01:47:02
It's really good.
► 01:47:02
So yeah, go back to that.
► 01:47:04
Go back to that.
► 01:47:06
The quote is relevant.
► 01:47:07
Struggle itself towards the heights is enough to.
► 01:47:08
Fill a man's heart, one must imagine syphysis.
► 01:47:11
That's a Salek's ass.
► 01:47:14
It was.
► 01:47:14
Pushing the boulder.
► 01:47:15
It's the boulder.
► 01:47:16
Pushing the boulder.
► 01:47:17
Did you do this?
► 01:47:18
I didn't do that part.
► 01:47:19
Who did this?
► 01:47:20
Albert Camus.
► 01:47:20
The director.
► 01:47:21
He beat his ass.
► 01:47:23
It is a little pretentious for what this is.
► 01:47:26
A little bit.
► 01:47:26
Now we come back to Earth.
► 01:47:28
Sheath underwear.
► 01:47:29
Come back to Earth.
► 01:47:30
Yeah.
► 01:47:30
Oh, God, Mark.
► 01:47:31
Why do you have a nice ass, you fucking homo?
► 01:47:36
I'm clavicular.
► 01:47:36
Why do you have nice legs, you pussy?
► 01:47:39
He micro fractures his butt cheeks.
► 01:47:41
I was deadly hung over there.
► 01:47:42
That's hilarious.
► 01:47:43
Just shitting it out.
► 01:47:44
But it's a great, it's really great for comics to see, especially young guys coming up, like what the process is like.
► 01:47:49
You know, to see a guy like you who's been in the game a long time, he's really good.
► 01:47:53
Yeah.
► 01:47:53
See a bunch of specials already.
► 01:47:55
See you bombing and tweaking and showing everybody the bits not working well and then working really well.
► 01:48:00
Oh, thanks.
► 01:48:00
I appreciate it.
► 01:48:01
Yeah, there's this idea that everything's magic.
► 01:48:04
No, you show them like their struggle.
► 01:48:05
They're like, oh, okay.
► 01:48:06
Just trial and error.
► 01:48:07
Like, how many times have you seen Louis bomb and you're like, well, this guy's the best ever?
► 01:48:10
Chris Rock, too.
► 01:48:11
Yeah.
► 01:48:12
Chris Rock used to come to the store and the crowd would go nuts and he would say, relax.
► 01:48:15
It's not going to be that funny.
► 01:48:17
Right, right.
► 01:48:17
Lower your experience.
► 01:48:18
You tell them that because he was just running material and trying to find every possible angle and get laughs occasionally and sometimes not and then tweak it afterwards.
► 01:48:27
Yep, yep.
► 01:48:28
That's part of it.
► 01:48:29
That's why Eddie Murphy can't come back because I don't think he's willing to bomb after six months.
► 01:48:34
It's not even six months, it's years.
► 01:48:36
We've had this discussion on this podcast.
► 01:48:38
Play R. Kelly.
► 01:48:38
It's also the velvet prison, the movies, the fucking craft service, getting picked up in a limo.
► 01:48:46
It's like the grind of writing your own material, putting it all together, everything riding on your back.
► 01:48:50
Like, that is a Warriors game.
► 01:48:52
And some people don't want to do that anymore.
► 01:48:54
It's also like you got to do a Tuesday at the stand where there's 19 people.
► 01:48:58
I also understand older comics back in the day not wanting to do it because movies were so much more lucrative.
► 01:49:05
Oh, yeah.
► 01:49:05
And stand up is not.
► 01:49:06
Stand up is 10 times more lucrative.
► 01:49:08
It is now.
► 01:49:09
And it's like, dude, do stand up.
► 01:49:11
Yeah.
► 01:49:11
Yeah.
► 01:49:12
Like, just do stand up.
► 01:49:13
I mean, I never thought a couple people back then go, I would take a pay cut if I did a sitcom.
► 01:49:17
And it was like a couple people.
► 01:49:18
And now it's like kind of everybody.
► 01:49:20
Yeah.
► 01:49:20
You'd have to make Seinfeld money like season seven and beyond to go, I'll take off the road for this.
► 01:49:25
So, there's certain guys.
► 01:49:26
And now there is no Seinfeld money.
► 01:49:28
It doesn't exist.
► 01:49:29
I know.
► 01:49:30
Miss Pat is the only person with a sitcom right now.
► 01:49:32
No, what about this guy?
► 01:49:33
DT.
► 01:49:33
Oh, that's right.
► 01:49:34
But you have Tires, it's different, though, because it's a single camera.
► 01:49:37
Yeah.
► 01:49:38
Like Tires is like a show.
► 01:49:39
It's a sitcom.
► 01:49:39
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:49:40
It's a show.
► 01:49:41
It's a great funny show.
► 01:49:43
Thanks.
► 01:49:43
But it's like there's a difference between the thing that everybody wanted was the live audience, four camera.
► 01:49:50
You do it on NBC, CBS, you get residuals.
► 01:49:53
That was like the golden carrot.
► 01:49:54
That they hung over your head.
► 01:49:55
Totally.
► 01:49:56
Stand up couldn't pay.
► 01:49:58
No, nobody did anything but clubs back then.
► 01:50:01
It was like Dice Clay.
► 01:50:02
Weird stand up.
► 01:50:03
And then afterwards, it was Dane Cook.
► 01:50:04
We saw a billboard of a poster.
► 01:50:06
His thing's like a museum.
► 01:50:07
And a poster for Evening at the Improv with him and Chris Rock.
► 01:50:10
Who's that?
► 01:50:11
David Spade.
► 01:50:12
Oh, wow.
► 01:50:13
And I was there with Nate, and he goes, You did like club for this?
► 01:50:16
And he goes, Bro, we only did clubs.
► 01:50:19
None of us ever did theaters back then.
► 01:50:20
If we were really good, you'd do six days at a club.
► 01:50:22
Carlin did theaters.
► 01:50:24
Yeah.
► 01:50:24
Legends did theaters.
► 01:50:25
Dice did MSG once.
► 01:50:27
Yeah, Steve Martin a couple times.
► 01:50:28
Oh, Dice did MSG many times.
► 01:50:31
He did Nassau Coliseum.
► 01:50:33
Dice did.
► 01:50:33
Dice was in enormous places when no one was doing it.
► 01:50:38
Dice was the original stadium act.
► 01:50:41
But then it was no one until Dane.
► 01:50:43
Right.
► 01:50:43
Between Dice and Dane, there was nobody.
► 01:50:45
And now it's a lot of guys.
► 01:50:46
And now people are playing at Des Moines.
► 01:50:47
They're playing at the arenas.
► 01:50:48
Yeah, it's not that many guys.
► 01:50:51
I mean, it's probably at least 20.
► 01:50:52
Compare it.
► 01:50:53
Arenas?
► 01:50:53
Bargazzi, Kevin R., Sebastian, Tom.
► 01:50:56
Regularly?
► 01:50:57
Hinchcliffe, Louis.
► 01:50:59
Well, hold on, fellas.
► 01:51:01
Let's not diminish it.
► 01:51:03
No, no, no.
► 01:51:04
That was just an issue.
► 01:51:05
New Sebastian, Gabriel.
► 01:51:06
He's 20?
► 01:51:07
Gabriel's doing giant places.
► 01:51:07
Joe Coy, giant places.
► 01:51:09
Joe Coy.
► 01:51:09
Kevin Hart.
► 01:51:11
Matt Rife.
► 01:51:11
Matt Rife, giant places.
► 01:51:13
Matt Rife.
► 01:51:13
Segura.
► 01:51:14
Segura's doing arenas.
► 01:51:16
I met a guy, I met an Indian kid outside New York Comedy Club.
► 01:51:18
Indian kids will do something.
► 01:51:20
And I was like, oh, what are you doing in town?
► 01:51:21
He goes, doing comedy.
► 01:51:21
He's like, oh, it's cool, man.
► 01:51:22
What are you playing?
► 01:51:23
And he goes, MSG.
► 01:51:24
That doesn't count.
► 01:51:25
I was like, what?
► 01:51:26
Indians don't count.
► 01:51:27
Congratulations.
► 01:51:28
Indians count as much as Christian movies count in the box office.
► 01:51:31
Yeah.
► 01:51:32
You'd be top 10 every time.
► 01:51:34
It doesn't count.
► 01:51:34
Removal.
► 01:51:35
Yeah.
► 01:51:36
That's hilarious.
► 01:51:38
Yeah, that's probably 10, 12.
► 01:51:41
You know.
► 01:51:42
10 to 20.
► 01:51:42
Six arenas?
► 01:51:44
You see, though.
► 01:51:45
Or do an arena every once in a while.
► 01:51:47
Rife.
► 01:51:47
Matt Rive.
► 01:51:48
Rife's doing a lot.
► 01:51:49
Yeah.
► 01:51:50
It's a matter of whether you want to do arenas all the time.
► 01:51:52
The point is, way more than no one between Dane and Dice.
► 01:51:56
Right.
► 01:51:56
For sure.
► 01:51:57
Yeah.
► 01:51:57
For sure.
► 01:51:57
Because comedy's so big now.
► 01:51:59
Yeah.
► 01:51:59
And there's a ton of guys doing 1,500 seeders.
► 01:52:01
Yeah.
► 01:52:02
Yeah.
► 01:52:03
A lot of them.
► 01:52:03
Oh, Schultz, I think, does arenas.
► 01:52:04
I don't know if he's regularly doing arenas.
► 01:52:05
Oh, he does regular arenas.
► 01:52:06
Yeah.
► 01:52:07
He does arenas regularly.
► 01:52:08
Whenever he wants.
► 01:52:09
Whenever he wants.
► 01:52:10
Bert.
► 01:52:11
Yeah.
► 01:52:12
Tom.
► 01:52:12
Yeah.
► 01:52:12
There you go.
► 01:52:13
Tony.
► 01:52:14
There's a lot of people doing arenas now.
► 01:52:15
Mostly guys from my storytelling show.
► 01:52:18
Oh.
► 01:52:18
Which is also online behind a paywall.
► 01:52:22
The end.
► 01:52:23
These three guys are on it Arena comic.
► 01:52:25
Nice.
► 01:52:25
Theater comic.
► 01:52:26
Club almost sells out Saturdays.
► 01:52:29
And Denver.
► 01:52:30
And Denver's because you're likable.
► 01:52:32
Yeah.
► 01:52:34
We got Tony, Nate.
► 01:52:37
We got a bunch.
► 01:52:38
You, Tony, Nate.
► 01:52:40
Tom, four arena comics.
► 01:52:42
That's wild.
► 01:52:43
The three private jets were at that show.
► 01:52:46
That's insane.
► 01:52:46
And we got paid $500.
► 01:52:48
I got a story.
► 01:52:49
You can cut this out if you want.
► 01:52:50
Cut back in.
► 01:52:51
And we're back.
► 01:52:52
We're back.
► 01:52:53
You should be mad.
► 01:52:54
It stunk, bro.
► 01:52:56
I wouldn't want to do that.
► 01:52:57
It stunk.
► 01:52:58
We need a transition.
► 01:52:59
We need a transition.
► 01:53:00
Let's go back.
► 01:53:01
The last one.
► 01:53:01
The 9 11.
► 01:53:02
Yeah.
► 01:53:02
What?
► 01:53:04
What is that sound?
► 01:53:06
Go, baby, go.
► 01:53:10
Number two, fucking.
► 01:53:11
Oh, look at the gay Ayatollah.
► 01:53:17
Freedom's the only way.
► 01:53:18
Straight to Hormuz.
► 01:53:19
Iran needs to understand freedom's the only way.
► 01:53:22
Woo!
► 01:53:23
Fuck the regime.
► 01:53:24
We're coming back, brother.
► 01:53:25
Yeah.
► 01:53:26
We're bombing everybody, brother.
► 01:53:28
America.
► 01:53:29
We need to bomb everybody.
► 01:53:30
Fuck healthcare.
► 01:53:31
Homeless people.
► 01:53:32
Dude, I'm telling you, I met so many people who shut up in America when I was traveling, it made me more nationalistic.
► 01:53:36
I couldn't agree more than that.
► 01:53:38
If I go to another country and somebody's like, You guys are blah, blah, blah.
► 01:53:41
I go, dude, you guys are doing nothing.
► 01:53:43
Me and you are like, we need healthcare.
9/11 Joke Controversy
00:14:32
► 01:53:45
We're fucking up.
► 01:53:45
And somebody's like, why don't you guys have healthcare?
► 01:53:47
I'm like, why don't you shut your mouth?
► 01:53:48
Because we have stealth bombers, bitch.
► 01:53:50
All the Australians, like, you treat your minorities bad.
► 01:53:52
I'm like, you wiped yours out.
► 01:53:54
Yes, we have football.
► 01:53:55
Blow me.
► 01:53:56
Yeah.
► 01:53:57
Yeah, we have college football, bro.
► 01:53:59
We have college football.
► 01:54:00
We have solid points by everyone.
► 01:54:02
Once you go to another country, that's when you go.
► 01:54:03
Why don't you guys shut up?
► 01:54:05
Who's number two with stand up comedy?
► 01:54:06
What country's number two?
► 01:54:08
England.
► 01:54:08
England.
► 01:54:08
Oh, sure.
► 01:54:09
Well, Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr.
► 01:54:11
Those are two greats.
► 01:54:11
Carr is great.
► 01:54:12
Carr is a national, international great.
► 01:54:15
Car is the best.
► 01:54:15
Stuart Lee.
► 01:54:16
Car is so good.
► 01:54:17
Car is great.
► 01:54:18
He was so good.
► 01:54:18
He performed at the mothership.
► 01:54:19
He's running all these new jokes.
► 01:54:21
I was like, this guy is a motherfucker, dude.
► 01:54:23
He is.
► 01:54:23
Great writer.
► 01:54:24
He's just dominant and so calm.
► 01:54:26
So smart, man.
► 01:54:27
Such a smart dude.
► 01:54:28
Type shit.
► 01:54:29
If you had one of those brewskis, I'd like to get involved with you.
► 01:54:30
What are you looking for this time?
► 01:54:31
Glass or can?
► 01:54:33
I would never waste a glass on a bong.
► 01:54:35
Shane, you haven't changed at all.
► 01:54:37
I wish I could, brother.
► 01:54:39
It's time to change.
► 01:54:39
You don't want to change.
► 01:54:41
I haven't changed.
► 01:54:43
You have not.
► 01:54:43
I don't think I have.
► 01:54:44
You can't go out as much.
► 01:54:46
You did change very little.
► 01:54:48
You changed a little weird.
► 01:54:49
You changed in unimportant ways.
► 01:54:51
You're more into hunting.
► 01:54:53
Wow.
► 01:54:53
But it's not like archery.
► 01:54:55
It's different.
► 01:54:55
But that to me is my way to stay insane.
► 01:54:59
No, you just got to do a bunch of things like pool, archery, martial arts.
► 01:55:03
Those things just keep me sane.
► 01:55:04
I have to do some things that keep me from going off the rails.
► 01:55:07
Yeah.
► 01:55:07
And staying off of Twitter.
► 01:55:09
Didn't you have a thing where your manager, our business manager, one of them was like, hey, Joe, we got to, when you just started headlining, correct me if I'm wrong, we're like, we got to have a talk with you.
► 01:55:19
And you're like, what's the matter?
► 01:55:20
And they're like, buddy, we don't want to get this out of hand.
► 01:55:23
We know you have a gambling addiction and we want to get you help.
► 01:55:25
And you're like, what do you mean?
► 01:55:26
Like, you're blowing through money in a way.
► 01:55:28
And he goes, no, I just love lobster and steak.
► 01:55:31
Oh, I was eating steak and lobster.
► 01:55:32
That was my first.
► 01:55:34
My first developer, my manager thought that I had a gambling problem because I was spending so much money.
► 01:55:39
I'm like, bro, I'm eating steak and lobster every night.
► 01:55:42
He's like, you're not worried at all.
► 01:55:44
You're going to run out of money.
► 01:55:44
I'll go, I'll make more money.
► 01:55:46
We'll figure it out.
► 01:55:47
I'm like, once we get in the gate, like, I'm one of those people that, like, if I figured out how to get in the gate, I'm going.
► 01:55:53
I'm going to keep my foot on the gas.
► 01:55:55
I'll be fine.
► 01:55:55
Joe, you brought so many openers with you that we made more money than you.
► 01:55:59
We did the math once.
► 01:56:02
We're like, he's barely making more than us.
► 01:56:04
But it was about fun.
► 01:56:05
It was so fun.
► 01:56:05
It has to be fun.
► 01:56:06
To be about fun because I did gigs with like local guys, and some of them were great.
► 01:56:11
Like, that's how I got to meet Subura.
► 01:56:13
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:56:14
I mean, I met a bunch of guys who became my friends that were like local guys, but it was like one out of ten.
► 01:56:19
And that means nine times I'm in a town bored, watching TV, fucking not enjoying myself.
► 01:56:24
And then being there, sometimes they're mean, sometimes they step on your material on purpose.
► 01:56:28
And sometimes, yeah, and sometimes they'll be like, they'll do the negging thing a woman will do where she's like, they'll like, shit on you on purpose.
► 01:56:34
Like, I don't know you that well.
► 01:56:35
I'm trying to be nice to you.
► 01:56:36
Well, there's a lot of weirdness because you're the headliner and they're jealous and they think they should be the headliner.
► 01:56:40
Yeah.
► 01:56:41
You're going to go do local material, and you're like, all right.
► 01:56:43
Okay, buddy.
► 01:56:44
Fucking asshole.
► 01:56:45
There's a lot of fun.
► 01:56:46
Hey, you should do this.
► 01:56:47
Hey, let's switch tomorrow.
► 01:56:48
Yeah.
► 01:56:48
You can go on last for 15 minutes.
► 01:56:49
But the gigs were always a party.
► 01:56:52
We had fun everywhere we went.
► 01:56:54
We had fun.
► 01:56:55
Fun is key.
► 01:56:56
Like, I'll do Snapchat Fest, and you make, what, $17?
► 01:56:59
Yeah.
► 01:56:59
But, you know, my friend's like, ah, you make no money.
► 01:57:01
I'm like, it's fun.
► 01:57:02
It's a great weekend.
► 01:57:03
I was trying to explain this to guys in the.
► 01:57:06
I'm a good friend.
► 01:57:08
One of Tony's agents was trying to pitch this fucking horrible idea.
► 01:57:11
Not even Tony's agent.
► 01:57:13
Someone was trying to pitch this horrible idea where Tony would take a percentage of everybody's podcast that was on Kill Tony.
► 01:57:19
He was like, no fucking way.
► 01:57:22
And I was like, that money, if you got it from them, it wouldn't change the way you feel.
► 01:57:27
You would feel the same.
► 01:57:29
You wouldn't say, I feel so much better now that I have X more dollars in the bank.
► 01:57:33
But you would feel like a piece of shit because you were fucking people over.
► 01:57:38
You would pay all that money back plus to not feel that.
► 01:57:42
To not feel bad, yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:57:43
You would give it all back.
► 01:57:44
You would not be a piece of shit.
► 01:57:46
It's like, There's nothing better than helping your buddies.
► 01:57:49
Nothing better.
► 01:57:50
It's kind of the only nice thing.
► 01:57:52
Shane pays people on the road out of spite.
► 01:57:55
What do you mean?
► 01:57:57
I do it.
► 01:57:57
Like, Lev was talking dumb shit.
► 01:57:59
He was so fucking, couldn't get out of his own fat way.
► 01:58:01
And he goes, No, clubs are better than arenas.
► 01:58:03
You're crazy.
► 01:58:04
And Shane's like, You've never done an arena.
► 01:58:05
And he goes, Dude, you know how Lev is?
► 01:58:08
I'll choose.
► 01:58:09
And he's like, I know what I'm talking about.
► 01:58:11
And then Shane's out of spite.
► 01:58:12
He goes, I'm going to give you a lot of cash to come over for me on the road.
► 01:58:16
And Lev's like, Arenas are better, and I paid my rent for the year.
► 01:58:23
Yeah, those shows, your crowds are great.
► 01:58:25
Those shows are so fun.
► 01:58:26
You do 15 to 20, you just play the hits.
► 01:58:28
It's a great time.
► 01:58:29
Fun is fun.
► 01:58:30
Fun is fun everywhere you go.
► 01:58:31
And I play Xbox with a bunch of guys from the NHL.
► 01:58:34
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:58:35
Dude, it's crazy.
► 01:58:36
You don't know where.
► 01:58:37
I don't think I've had a woman in my green room.
► 01:58:39
It's just 15 dudes.
► 01:58:40
We're trying to have a good time.
► 01:58:42
We're playing Xbox.
► 01:58:43
You can see the guy who owns Arena is so disappointed, too.
► 01:58:45
They come in thinking it's going to be cool because Stanford's cool now.
► 01:58:48
And they come in and it's me, Soda, and Shane playing some fucking video game.
► 01:58:51
It just smells like body odor.
► 01:58:53
And they're just like, ugh.
► 01:58:54
And there's chicken nuggets in the rider.
► 01:58:56
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:58:56
So my rider's chicken tenders in a case of beer.
► 01:58:59
Yeah.
► 01:58:59
And it sucks.
► 01:59:01
Second worst pizza in town and bring it.
► 01:59:03
Yeah.
► 01:59:05
Yeah.
► 01:59:06
But that video game you play brings everybody in.
► 01:59:08
It's a great icebreaker.
► 01:59:09
Yeah.
► 01:59:10
It's the hangout afterwards.
► 01:59:11
I had so many memories of us, like, some town and just going to anybody in the street.
► 01:59:15
Like, is there a place to eat around here?
► 01:59:17
Like, I don't know, is it Fogo to chat around?
► 01:59:18
I was like, what?
► 01:59:19
Yeah.
► 01:59:20
Well, all you need is us.
► 01:59:21
Like, in a green room sometimes, I'm like, I don't even want to go to the bar.
► 01:59:24
This is the best.
► 01:59:24
It's the hang.
► 01:59:25
The hang's everything.
► 01:59:26
Yeah, at the mothership.
► 01:59:27
It was like, whenever it was like, we're going under Mitzi's, I'm like, yeah, this is a great place to hang out.
► 01:59:31
This is right here.
► 01:59:32
We got liquor.
► 01:59:32
We got to stay right here.
► 01:59:33
Yeah, but Mitzi's, once it clears out, it's perfect.
► 01:59:37
Yeah.
► 01:59:37
Well, once the regular people are out, Yeah, once the crowd leaves.
► 01:59:41
That's the cool thing about Mitzi's, it becomes a private club after 11 p.m.
► 01:59:44
Yeah.
► 01:59:45
That's nice.
► 01:59:46
Always lose my voice in there, though.
► 01:59:48
Same.
► 01:59:48
Well, Tony's chain smoking like a fucking old lady.
► 01:59:51
He's chain smoking, everybody's drinking, there's great music playing.
► 01:59:54
He's like, I'll tell you.
► 01:59:57
Tony needs a cigarette extender.
► 01:59:58
That's a lesson to me.
► 02:00:00
Genius Limbs.
► 02:00:01
His ability to write roast jokes is extraordinary.
► 02:00:05
It's very weird.
► 02:00:05
I gave him an angle yesterday on the.
► 02:00:09
Can we see?
► 02:00:10
What is he on the end?
► 02:00:12
Oh, yeah.
► 02:00:13
I think, yeah, yeah.
► 02:00:14
I just gave him an angle.
► 02:00:14
I was like, What about this?
► 02:00:15
He goes, Oh, I'm like, Something like this.
► 02:00:17
He goes, Yeah, but wittier than that.
► 02:00:18
Yes.
► 02:00:19
I'm like, Yeah, I don't know how to write a joke.
► 02:00:21
Well, as soon as you got on the phone, I was like, They're there.
► 02:00:22
Yeah, they're there.
► 02:00:23
I'm like, Yeah, now you do your thing.
► 02:00:24
He's like, Those jokes are there.
► 02:00:25
He thinks in like that kind of joke, like roast joke form.
► 02:00:29
Like, that's how, like, he's so fat, he, like, that's how his mind works.
► 02:00:34
It's really fun to watch.
► 02:00:36
It's like, I don't, that muscle's a different muscle.
► 02:00:38
It's a different muscle.
► 02:00:39
Yeah, both your guys was good yesterday.
► 02:00:41
I'm it's funny watching they do a gonna be a massive thing ahead of time for a crowd.
► 02:00:46
The crowd's like, This is so cool.
► 02:00:48
Yeah, well, it's cool because they get to see it worked out.
► 02:00:49
Yeah, they're gonna get to see it live, right?
► 02:00:51
And you get to see people go, Yeah, the jokes are good.
► 02:00:53
Not on that one.
► 02:00:54
I'm very happy with the jokes.
► 02:00:55
And you're going out cold, right?
► 02:00:56
You gotta open it.
► 02:00:57
Yeah, that's tough.
► 02:00:58
I'm worried about I don't think I'm a good host as far as the hey, everybody, we're on live on Netflix.
► 02:01:06
I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that.
► 02:01:07
I'm gonna go, All right, fuck that.
► 02:01:09
Just be this is my joke.
► 02:01:10
This is my joke.
► 02:01:11
It doesn't matter.
► 02:01:12
Once you start talking, it's all good.
► 02:01:14
Dude, there's a video I saw of Waylon Jennings Jr.
► 02:01:16
I think it was him.
► 02:01:17
And they're doing a roast, like a barbecue.
► 02:01:20
And they're like, we're here, waiting for him to show up.
► 02:01:21
And he's been barbecuing into this thing for the last 14 hours.
► 02:01:25
And then they come in, some ladies interview him.
► 02:01:27
He's like, so we're ready for your roast.
► 02:01:28
He goes, oh, that's not mine.
► 02:01:30
He was like, no.
► 02:01:32
She was like, what do you mean?
► 02:01:32
He goes, no, that's a TV thing.
► 02:01:35
He goes, no, mine would be underground and we'd have moonshine.
► 02:01:38
And she goes, for the base thing?
► 02:01:39
No, for fun while we're waiting for the meat to come out.
► 02:01:42
Yeah.
► 02:01:43
He just like ruined the TV version of it.
► 02:01:45
He's like, no, that's a lie.
► 02:01:47
Yeah, I got kicked off of last comic standing for that because they put you in a room and they're like, they want you to have drama.
► 02:01:51
They're like, what do you think?
► 02:01:52
Who are you going to beat?
► 02:01:53
And I'm like, I'm probably going to lose.
► 02:01:54
And they're like, no, no, no.
► 02:01:55
You got to like talk shit.
► 02:01:56
And I'm like, oh, they don't want me on here.
► 02:01:58
I'm going to bomb.
► 02:01:58
And they're like, what are you doing?
► 02:02:00
You're ruining the show.
► 02:02:02
They want you to be like, fuck that guy.
► 02:02:03
I'm going to take him down.
► 02:02:04
Just say, hey, guys, whatever you want.
► 02:02:05
We know what this is.
► 02:02:06
I don't know how you would do it.
► 02:02:07
That's a tough part.
► 02:02:07
I'll do it.
► 02:02:08
That's a hard part.
► 02:02:09
I'll do it.
► 02:02:10
There's just a couple jokes that I'm like, I know they're funny, but it's like That's gonna be tough to tell publicly.
► 02:02:16
You had a couple jokes in there that were like, you can hear the reaction of like laughter or like, oh.
► 02:02:23
Yeah, and that's a fucking mothership crowd.
► 02:02:25
Yeah, exactly.
► 02:02:26
Exactly.
► 02:02:26
That's a bunch of people that are like, I paid good money to see somebody be racist tonight.
► 02:02:31
And they're like, bro, calm down.
► 02:02:35
It's hilarious.
► 02:02:36
The black jokes go hard.
► 02:02:37
The black jokes go hard.
► 02:02:38
They do.
► 02:02:39
But hey, you know, it's a rose.
► 02:02:41
This is what we want to see.
► 02:02:42
I know, but I got to go fucking first.
► 02:02:44
That's true.
► 02:02:45
Yeah, the MCing is tough because you haven't MCed in forever.
► 02:02:47
But is Kevin Hart going to be there?
► 02:02:50
I've never done anything.
► 02:02:50
How are you guys doing?
► 02:02:51
But like, when he's out, 100%.
► 02:02:53
He has to be there.
► 02:02:54
If he's laughing, you're golden.
► 02:02:56
He'll laugh.
► 02:02:57
Oh, he'll laugh at it.
► 02:02:58
Yeah, so the black jokes with the black guy laughing, you're good to go.
► 02:03:01
Yeah.
► 02:03:01
I'm not, it's more the.
► 02:03:04
Internet.
► 02:03:04
How are you guys doing?
► 02:03:05
The crowd.
► 02:03:07
Oh.
► 02:03:07
Because it's in LA.
► 02:03:08
I am going to be, it's going to be live, and I'm going to say some pretty offensive things.
► 02:03:11
And then I'm going to have to stay in the pocket of being like, I know the people at home like this.
► 02:03:16
Yes.
► 02:03:16
But now an entire room of famous people don't like me.
► 02:03:21
Dude, dude.
► 02:03:21
They're going to kill.
► 02:03:23
On paper, it sounds easy.
► 02:03:24
I get it.
► 02:03:24
I get it.
► 02:03:25
Bro, I know people in the WNBA, like people that work in, like, management and the players.
► 02:03:30
And I was going to war over your Espies thing.
► 02:03:34
Yeah.
► 02:03:34
What were they saying?
► 02:03:35
They were not happy with it at all.
► 02:03:37
Well, they seemed like a grumpy bunch anyway.
► 02:03:39
Yeah.
► 02:03:40
Not happy with it.
► 02:03:41
They go, you got to know you're playing for it.
► 02:03:42
And I was like, right, to me at home watching.
► 02:03:44
Yeah.
► 02:03:45
And they go, that's not worthy of the audience.
► 02:03:46
I'm like, no, you're in the room.
► 02:03:49
We're all at home laughing.
► 02:03:50
And we thought it was hilarious.
► 02:03:51
Like, she didn't even know this lady's name.
► 02:03:53
I was like, well, that's the point.
► 02:03:55
Neil Gillette.
► 02:03:56
But the Espies was a good training ground for this.
► 02:03:59
Espies is great.
► 02:03:59
I was nervous and awkward on that.
► 02:04:01
No, but they got 10 million views or whatever.
► 02:04:04
Anyway, it's for the internet.
► 02:04:05
Anyway, America.
► 02:04:07
Fuck yeah.
► 02:04:08
Second Junk of Pub.
► 02:04:10
The motherfucking day.
► 02:04:12
What night is the roast?
► 02:04:13
Just so I don't see it.
► 02:04:14
Sunday.
► 02:04:15
Sunday.
► 02:04:16
Oh, fuck.
► 02:04:16
I'm going.
► 02:04:17
Damn.
► 02:04:17
Where are you at?
► 02:04:18
The first one.
► 02:04:18
I'm getting there Tuesday.
► 02:04:20
Oh, no.
► 02:04:20
Why don't you go there early?
► 02:04:22
What do you have?
► 02:04:23
I get there Sunday, and then.
► 02:04:24
It's the 10th.
► 02:04:25
It's the next Sunday.
► 02:04:26
Oh, okay.
► 02:04:26
Okay.
► 02:04:26
All right.
► 02:04:27
You're going to stay?
► 02:04:27
I think I have a gig.
► 02:04:30
Me and Lewis got matching Legion of Skanks outfits.
► 02:04:33
Oh, you're on the team now.
► 02:04:34
How's that going?
► 02:04:35
You're a member of the Legion of Skanks outfits.
► 02:04:37
Oh, this is with Jay.
► 02:04:38
Does this stop you from moving to the UK?
► 02:04:41
Unfortunately, it does.
► 02:04:42
Thank good.
► 02:04:42
Thank good.
► 02:04:43
Fuck those lions.
► 02:04:44
Not even unfortunately.
► 02:04:45
This is a massive opportunity for me creatively.
► 02:04:48
This is like a dream.
► 02:04:49
You've been going long.
► 02:04:50
Thank God for the fucking Mossad plant to get out of there.
► 02:04:53
The Mossad couple.
► 02:04:54
So I was like, ooh.
► 02:04:57
Yeah, maybe I'll stab you.
► 02:04:58
Yeah, it'll be fun.
► 02:04:58
Yeah, you have to.
► 02:04:59
Fuck going to England.
► 02:05:00
They're going to stab you anyway.
► 02:05:01
You left enough.
► 02:05:04
That's true.
► 02:05:04
They'll stab you and steal your phone.
► 02:05:06
They do get stabby over shoot.
► 02:05:07
Getting stabby would be.
► 02:05:08
Fucking blow, dude.
► 02:05:10
You suck.
► 02:05:11
You're right there with the guy, too.
► 02:05:12
At least a gunshot.
► 02:05:13
Gunshot could be like, where did it even come from?
► 02:05:14
Some distance.
► 02:05:15
He's like, I know.
► 02:05:16
It's you.
► 02:05:17
It's you.
► 02:05:17
I hate you.
► 02:05:18
Right.
► 02:05:20
Woof.
► 02:05:21
Yeah, anyway.
► 02:05:22
You're better off.
► 02:05:23
Yeah, you're better off.
► 02:05:24
I think it's good.
► 02:05:25
It's divine.
► 02:05:26
Well, nothing's better off than skanks.
► 02:05:28
Yeah.
► 02:05:29
There you go.
► 02:05:29
What was it?
► 02:05:30
15 years running?
► 02:05:32
Yeah.
► 02:05:32
It's just perfect for you, Ari.
► 02:05:34
It's my show.
► 02:05:35
England's not perfect for you.
► 02:05:36
Vice President?
► 02:05:36
Although it's weird seeing you tied down to something.
► 02:05:39
I've never seen you commit.
► 02:05:40
Yeah, you're going to commit.
► 02:05:42
We got to do it once a week.
► 02:05:43
When Shane and I ran for president and vice president, we'll get into another episode, but it was the log line until one of us betrays the other, until one of us double crosses the other one.
► 02:05:52
We didn't.
► 02:05:53
We didn't.
► 02:05:54
Only because you found out Lewis was going to fuck with me and you double crossed him.
► 02:05:58
Yes.
► 02:05:59
Dude, that was nice.
► 02:05:59
Of course.
► 02:06:00
I would never do that.
► 02:06:01
I'm not going to let my president go down like that.
► 02:06:03
I'm JD Vance, bro.
► 02:06:05
I'm Vance.
► 02:06:06
Underrated something that happened in COVID is Shane, we're like, We're making a.
► 02:06:12
You guys were making the biggest mistake comedically.
► 02:06:15
I was so mad.
► 02:06:16
There was a video going around of all these stars singing some like Beatles song.
► 02:06:21
Oh, yeah.
► 02:06:22
Imagine there's no heaven.
► 02:06:23
So, Lewis's idea was like, let's do something making fun of it.
► 02:06:27
We'll all sing a song.
► 02:06:29
It was Down with the Sickness.
► 02:06:31
And we'll make a video.
► 02:06:31
And I was like, oh, I'll edit it.
► 02:06:33
So we just got to sing it first.
► 02:06:35
But I need every single one of you to sing the full song.
► 02:06:37
And I can choose.
► 02:06:38
And then I'll pick.
► 02:06:39
And then I just have a full video of every single one of these dumbasses singing that song.
► 02:06:43
And I was like, first off, the idea was not funny.
► 02:06:45
That is gay.
► 02:06:46
I will not.
► 02:06:47
I was doing it as a favor to Lewis.
► 02:06:49
I was like, if you think this is good.
► 02:06:51
And then Shane called me and goes, how.
► 02:06:54
Bad will your retaliation be if I release your video?
► 02:06:57
I was like, dude.
► 02:06:59
I didn't put anyone's videos in.
► 02:07:00
I was like, bro, as a comedian, send it to Jay Bob.
► 02:07:03
As a comedian, you should do it.
► 02:07:04
I will scorch the earth to get that out.
► 02:07:06
Send Aries to Jamie right now.
► 02:07:08
I'll fuck with you.
► 02:07:09
Do you have it categorized?
► 02:07:10
Do you have it in a file?
► 02:07:12
And I kept trying to, like, it was hard to make sure they did it seriously.
► 02:07:17
So I was like, no, don't fuck around.
► 02:07:18
It would be funnier if you guys were, like, really singing the best you can.
► 02:07:22
You fucked around in yours.
► 02:07:24
I did.
► 02:07:24
Oh, thank God.
► 02:07:25
But, I mean, it's still a horrific and embarrassing video.
► 02:07:28
It's an embarrassing video.
► 02:07:29
That whole thing was so karaoke.
► 02:07:31
Imagine There's No Heaven while Granny just died of COVID.
► 02:07:35
Also, it's like, this is like, it's a war song.
► 02:07:39
Yeah.
► 02:07:40
It's a war and religion song.
► 02:07:41
Yeah, it was very.
► 02:07:42
What are we doing?
► 02:07:43
There was a very strange time where people just got into smelling their own farts.
► 02:07:48
Yeah.
► 02:07:49
Well, the COVID hidden actors had no juice anymore.
► 02:07:51
They were like, oh, we got to stand out.
► 02:07:53
Please don't.
► 02:07:54
Oh, my God.
► 02:07:55
This is the real one, the one that I imagine video.
► 02:07:57
I can't watch this.
► 02:07:58
Throwing it up for you guys.
► 02:07:59
Actors really made themselves worthless.
► 02:08:01
Do they have any trouble?
► 02:08:02
Yeah, I can't.
► 02:08:03
Okay, we can't sing it.
► 02:08:04
The Beatles are probably.
► 02:08:05
You get Sarah Silverman being all serious.
► 02:08:07
She's like, what stars are in this?
► 02:08:08
I'll do it.
► 02:08:09
Oh, she was being joked.
► 02:08:11
Who is that?
► 02:08:13
Timothy Chalamet.
► 02:08:13
What's wrong with his teeth?
► 02:08:15
Oh, Fallon.
► 02:08:16
Oh, Fallon.
► 02:08:17
Hey, Fallon.
Civil Rights Movement War Song
00:03:40
► 02:08:18
He's an opener now.
► 02:08:21
You can kind of hear it.
► 02:08:22
Oh, fuck, man.
► 02:08:24
This is worse than being like an Epstein's iPhone clamp.
► 02:08:27
God, actors.
► 02:08:29
Yeah.
► 02:08:30
So fucking weird.
► 02:08:31
Well, they're not as important as they used to be.
► 02:08:33
So they're like, oh, this will be relevant.
► 02:08:34
They're about to do it.
► 02:08:35
They were like, I'm not getting attention.
► 02:08:36
Let's just do it ourselves.
► 02:08:37
And you're like, you guys can't do this.
► 02:08:39
The worst was the black and white one when they're like, I am ashamed of my whiteness.
► 02:08:43
Yeah.
► 02:08:44
That wasn't even a song.
► 02:08:46
That was just them talking.
► 02:08:47
The black and whiteness.
► 02:08:49
Doing the BLM.
► 02:08:50
Doing the BLM brides.
► 02:08:50
There's so many good ones.
► 02:08:52
You do.
► 02:08:53
It's so good.
► 02:08:53
DeRosa.
► 02:08:55
I got DeRosa going.
► 02:08:56
Send that to Jamie right now.
► 02:09:00
Send that to Jamie right now.
► 02:09:01
DeRosa will get sincere.
► 02:09:03
Dorosa gets in there, especially when he's drunk.
► 02:09:04
Dude, you're such a good friend.
► 02:09:05
I'm like, shut up, guys.
► 02:09:08
You're adopted.
► 02:09:08
Shut up.
► 02:09:09
Shut up.
► 02:09:09
I would never be friends with an adopted guy.
► 02:09:12
Yeah, you Egyptian weirdo.
► 02:09:13
Everybody was like trying to be silly, but the bit sucked so bad.
► 02:09:16
So bad.
► 02:09:17
I was so happy when you guys were doing that.
► 02:09:18
I was at Stanhope's when this was going on.
► 02:09:20
Oh, my God.
► 02:09:20
I didn't even get the bit, dude.
► 02:09:21
I was drunk at Stanhope's.
► 02:09:22
I was like, you guys suck.
► 02:09:24
You killed us.
► 02:09:25
Me and Stanhope were hammered.
► 02:09:27
You killed us.
► 02:09:28
Look how much these dudes suck.
► 02:09:32
That shit blew, dude.
► 02:09:34
I can't believe you guys did that.
► 02:09:35
How much you got left in there?
► 02:09:36
It's such a weird thing to do.
► 02:09:37
The thing where people decide to do things to make themselves look like they care.
► 02:09:41
Look like they care.
► 02:09:42
Yeah.
► 02:09:42
That's the thing about Hollywood.
► 02:09:43
They want to look like they care.
► 02:09:45
And it's so fucking transparent.
► 02:09:47
That's always a bummer.
► 02:09:48
You get that text like, hey, can you make a video for this?
► 02:09:50
I'm like, ah, it's going to ruin my whole day because you have to think about it and spend time on it.
► 02:09:55
Yeah.
► 02:09:55
It's a nightmare.
► 02:09:56
Change your number.
► 02:09:57
Yeah.
► 02:09:58
Can you help me with this?
► 02:09:59
You get one or two of those, change your number.
► 02:10:01
There we go.
► 02:10:02
JoJo Rabbit.
► 02:10:04
Music, please.
► 02:10:04
Music, please.
► 02:10:06
Oh, it's gonna be cold.
► 02:10:08
Woo, he's back, baby.
► 02:10:11
Ibogaine.
► 02:10:12
The Ibogaine.
► 02:10:13
Ibogaine.
► 02:10:14
IBMA.
► 02:10:15
Mushroom.
► 02:10:15
Yeah, congrats on the Ibogaine, bro.
► 02:10:18
That's sick.
► 02:10:18
Dude, that is such a win.
► 02:10:20
That is such a gigantic win.
► 02:10:22
They're hoping to reschedule.
► 02:10:23
They're going to reschedule the psychedelics and have them available to people.
► 02:10:26
Woo!
► 02:10:27
What's interesting is that all this was done during the Nixon administration to squash the civil rights movement.
► 02:10:32
What?
► 02:10:32
The civil rights movement and the anti war movement.
► 02:10:34
Black people don't even like mushrooms.
► 02:10:36
And that was also one of the things that I got to say.
► 02:10:38
It's one of the things that I got to say during the whole Trump thing.
► 02:10:41
You said black people don't like mushrooms?
► 02:10:43
I said, no, I didn't say that.
► 02:10:45
Okay.
► 02:10:45
Black people don't like mushrooms.
► 02:10:47
I said they love certain foods, but you can't bring them up.
► 02:10:51
I said these things weren't made illegal.
► 02:10:54
It was like, Because it was all live.
► 02:10:55
They couldn't stop me from saying it.
► 02:10:57
And Trump just let me talk.
► 02:10:58
So I said, these aren't illegal because they're harmful.
► 02:11:01
They're illegal because of the sweeping Controlled Substances Act of the 1970s and the Richard Nixon administration to target the civil rights movement and the anti war movement.
► 02:11:10
That's why they made them illegal.
► 02:11:12
They're not illegal because they're harmful.
► 02:11:14
And the idea that they were Schedule I for all these years with so many people using them to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to quit drugs, to get their life together, to like relax before they're dying like so many people that are like, Filled with anxiety because they're dying of cancer, they take mushrooms and they're like, I think I'm going to be okay.
► 02:11:30
Can you get fucked up on Ibogaine?
► 02:11:32
No, it's not recreational at all.
► 02:11:34
Oh, it's bad.
► 02:11:35
It's a bad experience.
► 02:11:37
What?
► 02:11:37
Yeah, it's not like a fun time.
► 02:11:38
But it's neuroregenerative.
► 02:11:41
It helps people that have, like Rick Perry, the governor, he had some sort of natural atrophy of his brain that happens when you get older.
► 02:11:49
Within six weeks or so after doing it, 25% of the atrophy was gone.
► 02:11:54
Six months later, 100% of it was gone.
► 02:11:57
What?
► 02:11:57
Yes.
Ozempic and Jennifer Lopez
00:02:58
► 02:11:58
It's nuts.
► 02:11:59
It's very positive, but a bad feeling when you're doing it.
► 02:12:03
Who is this?
► 02:12:03
Interesting.
► 02:12:04
Rick Perry.
► 02:12:05
Rick Perry, the former governor of Texas, Republican governor, who is a staunch anti drug guy his whole life.
► 02:12:11
And then he talked to all these veterans that were using it to get off of whatever opiates they were on.
► 02:12:16
Let me try it?
► 02:12:17
Yeah.
► 02:12:17
In secret?
► 02:12:18
Let me try it in secret?
► 02:12:19
I don't know if it was let me try it in secret because he was open about talking about it.
► 02:12:23
Oh, wow.
► 02:12:23
And he did it.
► 02:12:24
And he said it changed his life, too.
► 02:12:26
And he says, This is my life now.
► 02:12:27
I'm dedicated to trying to make this stuff legal.
► 02:12:30
So it's kind of like Ozempic.
► 02:12:31
It makes you stop doing stuff.
► 02:12:33
Well, Zempic is weird because it does make you stop doing addictive things, too.
► 02:12:37
It does.
► 02:12:37
But it cuts down your sex drive, too.
► 02:12:39
It cuts down love.
► 02:12:40
Like, you don't get excited about stuff.
► 02:12:42
Oh, yeah.
► 02:12:43
People are saying it keeps you from being passionate about stuff.
► 02:12:45
It cuts down love.
► 02:12:46
It's just weird when you see.
► 02:12:48
We were talking about that lady.
► 02:12:49
Oh, gosh.
► 02:12:49
Some of these hot actresses that are doing it, and they don't need to do it.
► 02:12:52
Stop drinking.
► 02:12:53
Be fat and horny.
► 02:12:55
Be fat and horny.
► 02:12:56
Yeah.
► 02:12:57
That's a good radio team.
► 02:12:58
Fat and horny in the morning.
► 02:12:59
It's also, girls don't realize, like, a little bit of fat on them is hot.
► 02:13:04
Yeah.
► 02:13:04
Little jiggle.
► 02:13:05
When girls are like 10 pounds overweight, it's like when they think they're overweight.
► 02:13:10
Yeah.
► 02:13:10
Especially if they're confident with it.
► 02:13:12
It just gives them curves.
► 02:13:14
Rachel Ray.
► 02:13:16
When they lose all that weight and get that Ozempic face, it's like, what are you doing?
► 02:13:19
Pull up Olivia Wilde.
► 02:13:20
You see her?
► 02:13:21
She looks like a chick-tailed lemur.
► 02:13:22
That's what we were drinking before you got here.
► 02:13:24
Oh, man.
► 02:13:25
Pull up her and a lemur.
► 02:13:27
It's dead on the eyes.
► 02:13:28
It's dead on.
► 02:13:29
Who's Olivia Wilde?
► 02:13:30
She's really beautiful.
► 02:13:32
Gorgeous.
► 02:13:34
She's so fat.
► 02:13:35
She wasn't fat at all, man.
► 02:13:37
But she's been.
► 02:13:38
Look how hot.
► 02:13:38
Look how hot.
► 02:13:39
Gorgeous.
► 02:13:39
But now look at the most recent video of her.
► 02:13:42
Yeah, look at that.
► 02:13:44
Oh, now pull up a ringtail lemur if you can find one.
► 02:13:46
I know exactly what a lemur looks like, bro.
► 02:13:48
It's a cute little nugget.
► 02:13:51
Look at that.
► 02:13:54
Same eyes.
► 02:13:55
Same eyes.
► 02:13:55
Wait, what happened to her?
► 02:13:56
Did she just hit the wall?
► 02:13:58
No, there's no way she just hit the wall.
► 02:14:00
She's still fairly young.
► 02:14:01
How old is she?
► 02:14:02
And she was really hot.
► 02:14:03
She was on some.
► 02:14:05
42.
► 02:14:05
She was in house in 2007.
► 02:14:07
She's older.
► 02:14:08
She's 20 years older than she was in house.
► 02:14:09
Yeah, but dude, recently she looked really hot.
► 02:14:12
Also, she's gorgeous.
► 02:14:14
Gorgeous.
► 02:14:15
No, I don't think it's the wall, dude.
► 02:14:16
Her real name's Cockburn.
► 02:14:18
That's funny.
► 02:14:18
Okay, but does anybody know if she's taking that stuff?
► 02:14:22
That's not even Ozempic.
► 02:14:23
That's the eyes.
► 02:14:24
That's a different thing.
► 02:14:25
Look at the giant eyeballs.
► 02:14:28
She might be Ozempic.
► 02:14:29
I don't want to smirch the lady.
► 02:14:32
She's still a fucking Ozempic.
► 02:14:33
You'd still fuck her collab with her.
► 02:14:35
But I think it's a little bit of it is just like women have this thing where they think they're supposed to be skinny.
► 02:14:42
Yeah.
► 02:14:42
Oh, 42.
► 02:14:43
Well, they are.
► 02:14:44
Yeah, but dude, 42.
► 02:14:45
Look at fucking, what's her name?
► 02:14:48
Jennifer Lopez.
► 02:14:49
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 02:14:49
Look at outliers.
► 02:14:50
She's hot as fuck.
► 02:14:51
I mean, that's a Puerto Rican, though.
► 02:14:52
Yeah, look at LeBron, but everybody else, it goes out at 38.
► 02:14:55
Hmm.
Hamza vs Strickland Fight
00:09:13
► 02:14:56
Could you hand me one of those brewskis?
► 02:14:58
Absolutely, buddy.
► 02:14:58
What are you looking for?
► 02:15:00
A bottle.
► 02:15:00
Yay, bottle rods.
► 02:15:02
It's just sad that so many of these women think that they have to be waistless.
► 02:15:06
Sessient holidays.
► 02:15:06
Look at that.
► 02:15:08
That's genuine.
► 02:15:09
I think it's just a bad picture, bad night, or something.
► 02:15:11
Yeah, bad night.
► 02:15:12
That's this story?
► 02:15:13
I thought that was a great picture.
► 02:15:14
She's still beautiful.
► 02:15:15
And she doesn't even look remotely overweight.
► 02:15:17
Dude, Seth Rogen looks like a troll next to her.
► 02:15:19
That's from two weeks ago.
► 02:15:21
Two weeks?
► 02:15:22
Wow.
► 02:15:22
No, that's just bad.
► 02:15:23
She's fine.
► 02:15:24
She might have been just bad video.
► 02:15:26
Let's leave.
► 02:15:29
Lady, I was wrong.
► 02:15:30
You didn't hit the wall at all.
► 02:15:32
You know what I like is the big fat guys that need the Ozempic.
► 02:15:35
Need it.
► 02:15:36
Yeah.
► 02:15:36
I like that.
► 02:15:37
My friend, he's on the fat pill.
► 02:15:39
Some of them defeat it.
► 02:15:40
Yeah, I know a guy.
► 02:15:41
We know a guy.
► 02:15:42
Boy, I didn't want to say his name.
► 02:15:43
Boy plowed right through it.
► 02:15:44
He beat Ozempic.
► 02:15:45
How did he do that?
► 02:15:46
He keeps eating.
► 02:15:47
He has habits.
► 02:15:48
Dude, when we were doing the 999, we were three hot dogs in.
► 02:15:53
We had to eat nine hot dogs, nine beers, and nine innings.
► 02:15:55
And by the way, pitch clock.
► 02:15:57
So it's way harder than when it was invented.
► 02:15:58
Although we did get there early.
► 02:15:59
We got there.
► 02:16:00
O'Connor had seven hot dogs before.
► 02:16:02
For the national anthem.
► 02:16:05
Oh, Connor, I'm going to just chug these hot dogs, chug hot dogs, passed out till the sixth.
► 02:16:11
He passed.
► 02:16:11
He woke up and said, I'm going to wake him up in the night to be like, dude, you're doing away.
► 02:16:14
You got to get it.
► 02:16:15
He got it.
► 02:16:18
He was like, I'm a champion.
► 02:16:19
It's the bread, the salt gets you.
► 02:16:21
That's disgusting.
► 02:16:22
Yeah, but H. Foley, three hot dogs in, you look over, he's eating a cheesesteak.
► 02:16:26
He's getting other grub.
► 02:16:28
He's eating hot dogs.
► 02:16:29
What are you doing?
► 02:16:30
And he goes, I don't know, Zimbabwe.
► 02:16:32
I don't even think I'll win.
► 02:16:33
I don't care.
► 02:16:34
I don't fucking care.
► 02:16:35
How full I am.
► 02:16:37
If you put a cheesesteak in front of me, I'm eating that shit.
► 02:16:39
It's like pussy.
► 02:16:40
There's a new place in Austin.
► 02:16:42
There's a food truck that Tony turned me out to that has cheesesteaks.
► 02:16:45
They're full.
► 02:16:46
James has had one on Banana.
► 02:16:48
What is that place, Jamie?
► 02:16:49
Do you know the place?
► 02:16:50
Do you know what it is, Jamie?
► 02:16:51
Don't say it.
► 02:16:51
We'll never get in again.
► 02:16:53
What's that?
► 02:16:53
No, not at all.
► 02:16:54
I'll ask Tony.
► 02:16:55
I think I saw it on Seamless.
► 02:16:57
I almost got it.
► 02:16:58
It's so legit.
► 02:16:59
Is it on 6th Street?
► 02:17:00
Because the food sucks over there.
► 02:17:02
Food sucks on 6th.
► 02:17:03
You got to go off.
► 02:17:04
It's a weird spot because it used to be the dirty 6th.
► 02:17:07
It was all just like, Drunk people food.
► 02:17:09
It's still.
► 02:17:09
They didn't have to be good.
► 02:17:10
It's still.
► 02:17:10
It's getting worse, dude.
► 02:17:12
But you got Black Rabbit, that's it.
► 02:17:14
But there's a Fogo de Chao a block away.
► 02:17:16
I think it might be RBs.
► 02:17:17
There's a Fogo de Chao a block away from the club.
► 02:17:19
Where?
► 02:17:20
It's down the street.
► 02:17:21
It's on Congress.
► 02:17:24
Or third.
► 02:17:25
I've never seen it.
► 02:17:25
What is?
► 02:17:26
Fogo?
► 02:17:27
It's on Congress.
► 02:17:28
So it's two blocks away.
► 02:17:29
Yeah, but it's not 36.
► 02:17:30
It's way off.
► 02:17:31
Right, right.
► 02:17:32
But it's not far, RBs.
► 02:17:33
It's still downtown.
► 02:17:34
I get what you're saying.
► 02:17:35
It's still downtown.
► 02:17:35
These are the guys.
► 02:17:36
These are the guys.
► 02:17:37
I'm going there tonight.
► 02:17:38
What's the name of it?
► 02:17:40
RB's Steak and Fries.
► 02:17:41
RB's Steak and Fries.
► 02:17:43
Bro, I'm telling you, their fucking cheesesteaks are so legit.
► 02:17:47
Let's meet them for others.
► 02:17:47
These guys brought them to the club, and I was like, and Tony's like, dude, you got to try this.
► 02:17:53
I was like, I'm not really hungry, but let me.
► 02:17:55
I started one bite, and I scarfed it.
► 02:17:58
I scarfed it.
► 02:17:59
Ooh, they got the fucking sauteed onions.
► 02:18:00
Oh, it's so good, dude.
► 02:18:02
Oh, it's so good.
► 02:18:03
These guys are so, and they're cool dudes.
► 02:18:06
Very, very, very legit.
► 02:18:07
Wait, go back up.
► 02:18:07
I want to see his nickname?
► 02:18:09
Boo.
► 02:18:09
Boo.
► 02:18:11
Black guys rule.
► 02:18:13
Boo Radley.
► 02:18:15
Man, it's almost time for Jeremiah Love highlights.
► 02:18:19
Easy.
► 02:18:19
It's almost time, dude.
► 02:18:20
Jeremiah Love?
► 02:18:22
Who that is?
► 02:18:23
I love that you're asking.
► 02:18:24
Who that is?
► 02:18:25
What are we talking about here?
► 02:18:26
Is that politics?
► 02:18:27
No.
► 02:18:28
No.
► 02:18:28
Football?
► 02:18:29
It sounds like a running back.
► 02:18:30
Jeremiah Love sounds like a football player.
► 02:18:32
Yeah.
► 02:18:32
He certainly is.
► 02:18:33
Yeah.
► 02:18:34
If he was a fighter, he'd probably quit in the third round.
► 02:18:36
I don't know if he.
► 02:18:37
Like a guy with that name?
► 02:18:38
If he had autism, or I think he does.
► 02:18:41
He's got at least OCD, but they did a nice doc.
► 02:18:44
Like before the game, they always, like college game day, always runs like a heartwarming story, but he had like autism as a kid, and they were like, We don't know what to do.
► 02:18:53
And then we got him in football, and he was just a fucking animal.
► 02:18:57
Oh, wow.
► 02:18:58
He's just.
► 02:18:59
That's so funny.
► 02:19:00
Wow, look at him go.
► 02:19:01
Wow.
► 02:19:02
Looking at his own sideline.
► 02:19:04
Dude, autism is a superpower.
► 02:19:05
Well, you just got to channel it.
► 02:19:07
You got to, like, tell me about it.
► 02:19:08
You got to make this one.
► 02:19:10
Norman, talk, speak on it.
► 02:19:11
You got to find a piano or comedy.
► 02:19:14
I can speak about Neanderthal genes.
► 02:19:15
You can speak about autism.
► 02:19:16
These guys are tackling wrong.
► 02:19:18
Look at him go, dude.
► 02:19:19
Wow.
► 02:19:20
Imagine trying to catch a guy that runs out of the way.
► 02:19:21
Wait till you see him jumping over people.
► 02:19:23
These guys are tackling wrong.
► 02:19:24
Oh, my God.
► 02:19:24
He's like the correspondence shooter.
► 02:19:26
Hey, Jamie, who is that guy that they just signed from Africa?
► 02:19:29
He's a 21 year old guy who's never played football before.
► 02:19:31
Philly did.
► 02:19:32
Philly did.
► 02:19:33
Yeah, he's with the Eagles.
► 02:19:35
Football does that where you're like, as long as you've got the skills, we got you.
► 02:19:39
That was a nice move.
► 02:19:40
Just keep this rolling for a second.
► 02:19:41
Oh, look at that move.
► 02:19:42
What a move.
► 02:19:43
Oh, my goodness.
► 02:19:44
All they got to do to tackle him is look him directly in the eyes.
► 02:19:47
Oh, why?
► 02:19:48
Because autism hates that shit.
► 02:19:50
They don't let you ever do that.
► 02:19:51
Really?
► 02:19:51
Is that real?
► 02:19:52
You look at an autistic guy in the eyes and go, fuck it.
► 02:19:53
He won't look at you back, though.
► 02:19:55
It's not going to work if he doesn't look at you back.
► 02:19:57
He's just dodging off.
► 02:19:58
Do you hate hugs?
► 02:19:59
He's dodging a hug.
► 02:20:00
I hate a hug.
► 02:20:01
Bro, he's.
► 02:20:02
Get away from Joe.
► 02:20:03
Get him.
► 02:20:05
Take him down.
► 02:20:07
Oh, God.
► 02:20:08
Oh, I'm right in the lips.
► 02:20:10
He got tongue in there for the listeners.
► 02:20:13
That's assault, brother.
► 02:20:14
Get a hug.
► 02:20:15
You should sue Joe.
► 02:20:16
I might sue Joe.
► 02:20:17
His whole body was vibrating when I was hugging him.
► 02:20:22
Good lord.
► 02:20:23
I mean, that's hot to say.
► 02:20:25
Oh, man.
► 02:20:25
How sick is Joe?
► 02:20:26
I love a great athlete.
► 02:20:28
Show Joe him jumping over some people.
► 02:20:29
Hey, what are you boys doing next weekend?
► 02:20:32
I think I got a gig.
► 02:20:33
What do you got?
► 02:20:34
Next week is a roast.
► 02:20:36
Next Saturday.
► 02:20:36
Oh, yeah.
► 02:20:37
It's at Netflix Fest.
► 02:20:38
It's at TV Garden.
► 02:20:38
In Boston.
► 02:20:40
What are you doing?
► 02:20:41
UFC.
► 02:20:42
The UFC in New Jersey.
► 02:20:43
Sean Strickland and Hamza Chamaev.
► 02:20:46
Hamza's.
► 02:20:47
Woo!
► 02:20:48
Bro, they're not even going to have a face off.
► 02:20:50
They're worried about putting them close to each other because Sean has talked so much shit.
► 02:20:55
He's a wild dude.
► 02:20:56
He's a wild dude.
► 02:20:57
And that shit talking that he does is emotional warfare.
► 02:21:02
Because, like, you'll think about the shit.
► 02:21:03
He calls him a goat fucker.
► 02:21:05
He's like, he won't stop talking shit.
► 02:21:08
He has no filter.
► 02:21:09
Sean Strickland said that.
► 02:21:11
He said, if those three goat fucks, if he comes up to me with three of his Chechen goats, he said, Sean was like, I'll shoot them.
► 02:21:19
I'll pull out my gun.
► 02:21:19
I'll shoot all three of them.
► 02:21:20
And he's going like this boom, boom, boom.
► 02:21:22
Jesus.
► 02:21:22
He's talking so much shit.
► 02:21:25
But it's emotional warfare.
► 02:21:27
It's like what Connor used to do.
► 02:21:29
What Connor did with Jose Aldo, he had him so fucked.
► 02:21:32
Up before that fight.
► 02:21:33
Yeah.
► 02:21:33
And he was just like so emotional.
► 02:21:35
Because Aldo was a legend.
► 02:21:37
Nobody talked shit about him.
► 02:21:39
Everybody was terrified of him.
► 02:21:40
And Connor was just constantly talking shit about him.
► 02:21:43
It worked.
► 02:21:44
Stole his belt at a press conference and was holding it up.
► 02:21:48
And by the time the fight happened, Aldo was just so worked up.
► 02:21:51
And Connor was just like super relaxed and smiling.
► 02:21:55
That's how Roberto Duran beat Robinson.
► 02:21:57
Because he called his wife a horror bus.
► 02:21:58
Who's Robinson?
► 02:21:59
Sugar Ray.
► 02:22:01
No.
► 02:22:01
Leonard.
► 02:22:02
Leonard.
► 02:22:02
Sorry.
► 02:22:02
Wrong sugar.
► 02:22:03
How dare you.
► 02:22:04
It was a really bad band.
► 02:22:05
He talked Sugar Ray into fighting his kind of fight.
► 02:22:09
Do you think Strickland can do that?
► 02:22:11
No.
► 02:22:11
Strickland is a.
► 02:22:12
He's good.
► 02:22:13
But he's not a good fighter.
► 02:22:14
No, no, no.
► 02:22:15
Strickland is one of the best fighters on planet Earth.
► 02:22:18
Make no mistake about it.
► 02:22:19
So is Hamza.
► 02:22:20
But Strickland is also a legitimate world champion.
► 02:22:23
He's a guy who's accustomed to five rounders.
► 02:22:25
He's got phenomenal cardio.
► 02:22:27
He's one of the hardest guys to hit in the sport.
► 02:22:30
Can he?
► 02:22:31
100% he has a chance.
► 02:22:33
Underrated grappling.
► 02:22:34
I like grappling.
► 02:22:35
Listen to me as an expert, allegedly.
► 02:22:40
He's one of the best takedown defense in the game.
► 02:22:42
Underrated grappling.
► 02:22:43
Strickland has a legit chance.
► 02:22:44
Can I just say this?
► 02:22:46
As someone who's heard you talk about this kind of stuff for many, many years, You give it up more for the person you think is not going to win.
► 02:22:55
Oh.
► 02:22:56
Interesting.
► 02:22:56
Because you didn't say shit about Hamza in this.
► 02:22:58
You just said shit about Hamza.
► 02:22:59
No, no, no.
► 02:23:00
I will tell you a lot about Hamza.
► 02:23:01
It's unreal.
► 02:23:02
It's obvious.
► 02:23:02
So you go, but don't count out the underdog.
► 02:23:05
No, I'll say that eventually if you give me a chance, you fucking blabber around.
► 02:23:08
You stop talking.
► 02:23:09
Jesus.
► 02:23:09
You stopped.
► 02:23:11
You already made your point.
► 02:23:14
Jesus Christ.
► 02:23:14
No, Hamza 100% can win.
► 02:23:15
He, look, he dominated Drekist Duplessis like he didn't even belong in there with him.
► 02:23:18
Exactly.
► 02:23:19
And Drekist was the world champion.
► 02:23:21
And Drikas had beaten Sean Strickland.
► 02:23:23
But the last time he beat Strickland in the second fight, Strickland, they made him fight.
► 02:23:27
He had a shoulder injury.
► 02:23:28
Like, Strickland's a wild boy.
► 02:23:30
And he crashed his dirt bike and fucked his shoulder up.
► 02:23:34
Cool.
► 02:23:35
Cool.
► 02:23:35
Strickland's an animal.
► 02:23:37
And they allowed him, I mean, they forced him, I should say, to fight.
► 02:23:41
Plus 340.
► 02:23:42
Damn.
► 02:23:43
Listen, man, I'm telling you, he can win.
► 02:23:45
Not only did he beat out Asanya, but the guy does not get tired.
► 02:23:49
Strickland has some of the best fucking cardio in the sport.
► 02:23:51
He's one of the hardest guys to hit.
► 02:23:53
He's very clever with his boxing.
► 02:23:55
He's got one of the best jabs in the sport.
► 02:23:57
Strickland can win this fight.
► 02:23:59
All right.
► 02:23:59
It's not saying he's going to win.
► 02:24:01
Hamzad is the best grappler at 185, period.
► 02:24:04
If he gets him on the ground, he's going to win.
► 02:24:06
And Hamzad can fucking strike, too.
► 02:24:07
It's not just a grappler, he's an animal.
Strickland Shoulder Injury
00:15:17
► 02:24:09
Well, I mean, that's what I mean with the shit talk.
► 02:24:11
Maybe he's trying to talk him into standing.
► 02:24:13
Right.
► 02:24:14
Or talk him into a war or talk him into hitting the gas, full clip, trying to take.
► 02:24:20
Algemain Sterling did a video about this.
► 02:24:22
And Algemain said here's the thing if Hamzad tries to just run him over.
► 02:24:27
Tries to just take him down, run him over, submit him, and can't do it, then that's a problem.
► 02:24:33
Because then he gasses himself out in the first round.
► 02:24:35
This is a five round fight.
► 02:24:37
Strickland is notoriously durable, notoriously in incredible shape, and he's calm.
► 02:24:43
He knows how to fight in wars.
► 02:24:45
Like, he's accustomed to that.
► 02:24:48
You know, he had a very abusive childhood.
► 02:24:50
He doesn't like bullies.
► 02:24:51
Like, Strickland's a tough nut, dude.
► 02:24:54
Oh, yeah.
► 02:24:54
In my mind, this is like, I would give Hans on a baby.
► 02:24:57
You're going to fire me up.
► 02:24:58
Yeah, dude, this is a great fight, dude.
► 02:25:00
Have you heard his trans race?
► 02:25:01
This is one.
► 02:25:03
Strickland is the best at fucking just talking wild shit at press conferences.
► 02:25:07
Yeah, yeah.
► 02:25:09
He's a wild fellow.
► 02:25:10
Yeah.
► 02:25:10
He was on the podcast, too.
► 02:25:11
He's fun, man.
► 02:25:12
He's fun.
► 02:25:13
Yeah.
► 02:25:13
He gets so angry and worked up about shit, but he's fucking fun.
► 02:25:15
You know what's fun?
► 02:25:17
Like now, a back?
► 02:25:18
Fun whites.
► 02:25:20
Fun whites are coming back.
► 02:25:21
He's one of the funnest whites ever.
► 02:25:23
I blame Chet Hanks.
► 02:25:25
He broke it open.
► 02:25:25
Chet Hanks.
► 02:25:26
Yeah, white boy summer.
► 02:25:28
Who actually broke the whites?
► 02:25:29
He's got a new accent?
► 02:25:30
He broke the highman.
► 02:25:31
What's his new one?
► 02:25:32
I don't know.
► 02:25:32
He dropped his old one.
► 02:25:33
He was like, I'm done with that fakeness.
► 02:25:34
I got a new fakeness.
► 02:25:35
Can you imagine if it was Tom Hanks as your dad?
► 02:25:37
That's wild.
► 02:25:38
You got a little bit of a shadow.
► 02:25:40
Colin and Chet, they couldn't be more opposite.
► 02:25:42
Who's Colin?
► 02:25:43
Colin's his other son.
► 02:25:43
You've seen he's in a ton of movies.
► 02:25:45
Colin's less of a phony.
► 02:25:46
Well, he's more straight laced.
► 02:25:48
Yeah.
► 02:25:50
What, Shia LaBouffe?
► 02:25:51
He's getting drunk, going to jail, coming back out.
► 02:25:53
Is Shia LaBouffe famous?
► 02:25:55
No, I'm just saying, like, Wild Lights.
► 02:26:00
Colin looks just like Tom.
► 02:26:02
That's crazy.
► 02:26:03
He needs to be Forrest Gump, too.
► 02:26:04
Good actor.
► 02:26:05
He looks more Forrest Gumpy than Forrest Gump.
► 02:26:07
He looks more Philadelphia.
► 02:26:08
What is this?
► 02:26:10
Chad is singing.
► 02:26:10
Oh, he's singing now?
► 02:26:11
He's doing country music.
► 02:26:12
Oh, boy.
► 02:26:13
Oh, God.
► 02:26:14
He can't sing.
► 02:26:14
I thought he was a rapper.
► 02:26:15
He was, but country's big now.
► 02:26:17
He's just swinging it every fucking bit.
► 02:26:18
He just chose wherever it's popular.
► 02:26:20
Renaissance.
► 02:26:21
He doesn't suck.
► 02:26:22
That guy sucks.
► 02:26:23
Catch Jack.
► 02:26:23
Yo.
► 02:26:24
What?
► 02:26:25
He's great.
► 02:26:26
Chet Hanks making accents.
► 02:26:27
Are he cajoled?
► 02:26:28
Imagine what it's like having Tom Hanks as a dad and trying to find your own identity.
► 02:26:33
I'm sure it's tough if your father was a molester, but it doesn't matter if she's a molestation.
► 02:26:40
Oh!
► 02:26:41
Come on.
► 02:26:41
You're talking about fucking J Mo's.
► 02:26:43
J Mo's getting the timestamp.
► 02:26:45
How dare you?
► 02:26:46
Talk about Woody here.
► 02:26:47
Tom Hanks.
► 02:26:47
J Mo's.
► 02:26:48
J Mo just goes.
► 02:26:50
He was good in Atlanta, and that's about it.
► 02:26:54
Atlanta?
► 02:26:55
Philadelphia?
► 02:26:56
Did an episode of Atlanta.
► 02:26:57
He was good.
► 02:26:57
Oh.
► 02:26:58
Oh.
► 02:26:59
Which one?
► 02:27:00
Chet.
► 02:27:01
Chet rules.
► 02:27:02
He was also great in Curb.
► 02:27:04
Yes.
► 02:27:04
Played the soldier.
► 02:27:05
That's right.
► 02:27:06
I didn't see that one.
► 02:27:07
You want to talk great athletes?
► 02:27:08
What about the amputee cornhole guy?
► 02:27:12
What?
► 02:27:12
What?
► 02:27:13
Where did that come from?
► 02:27:14
You haven't seen this guy?
► 02:27:15
What kind of a fucking transition was that?
► 02:27:18
I know where he's going with it.
► 02:27:19
We're talking about athletes.
► 02:27:20
The guy got in.
► 02:27:21
Trouble for shooting someone.
► 02:27:22
He's got no arms, no legs.
► 02:27:25
He shot a guy.
► 02:27:27
Did he really shoot somebody?
► 02:27:28
With a nub.
► 02:27:29
100% he shot him.
► 02:27:30
Pull it up.
► 02:27:30
What's Cornhole?
► 02:27:31
I thought he was playing Cornhole.
► 02:27:32
What does he have to do?
► 02:27:33
Does he have to attach a stick to the nub so he can pull the trigger?
► 02:27:35
He's got a little tiny thumb right on the stump.
► 02:27:39
And he could trigger it.
► 02:27:40
And he pulled a trigger and killed a guy.
► 02:27:41
Whoa.
► 02:27:42
Yeah.
► 02:27:42
Why did he kill the guy?
► 02:27:43
I think he fucked his stump.
► 02:27:44
I don't know.
► 02:27:45
What happened?
► 02:27:46
I remember reading the story.
► 02:27:48
He was driving the car, too.
► 02:27:49
There were three other guys in the car, and he's the one driving it.
► 02:27:51
Oh, my God.
► 02:27:52
What an outfit!
► 02:27:52
Stump drove the car?
► 02:27:54
Yeah.
► 02:27:54
Wow.
► 02:27:54
This guy's a badass.
► 02:27:55
Let's sit down a straight road.
► 02:27:56
And he was a professional cornhole player?
► 02:27:58
He was number one.
► 02:27:59
Cornhole.
► 02:27:59
No.
► 02:28:00
Was he the bag?
► 02:28:01
Here's a video of him shooting a gun.
► 02:28:02
There's a video of him climbing a ladder.
► 02:28:04
Climbing a ladder!
► 02:28:05
Yeah, I'll show you that after this.
► 02:28:06
He's getting passed around in prison like a cornhole bag.
► 02:28:09
Won on suspicion of shooting and killing a pastor in his car during an argument.
► 02:28:13
Look at this badass.
► 02:28:14
Oh, he can shoot guns.
► 02:28:15
I mean, he can shoot well.
► 02:28:16
You got to hand it to him.
► 02:28:17
Well.
► 02:28:18
Okay.
► 02:28:19
Maybe if you're.
► 02:28:19
You got that leg to stand on there, Mark.
► 02:28:21
Less limbs.
► 02:28:22
Yeah, less limbs.
► 02:28:23
Less movement.
► 02:28:24
It's not this end.
► 02:28:25
It's just this.
► 02:28:25
It's more stable.
► 02:28:27
I went out on a limb.
► 02:28:28
Oh, you son of a bitch.
► 02:28:29
There's his cornhole strategy.
► 02:28:31
He's unbelievable.
► 02:28:33
He's really good.
► 02:28:33
Look at this.
► 02:28:34
He's just sinking them.
► 02:28:35
Bags.
► 02:28:36
Bags.
► 02:28:38
And now he's in jail.
► 02:28:39
Poor guy.
► 02:28:40
He could have been a hero of our generation.
► 02:28:43
So, did he kill the guy for a reason?
► 02:28:46
I'm sure.
► 02:28:48
Lost his limbs, bacterial infection at 10 years old, demonstrating shooting.
► 02:28:52
So, what is the story?
► 02:28:53
What argument?
► 02:28:54
Accused of shooting a guy during a driving argument.
► 02:28:57
He wanted the two guys in the car to help him get rid of the body.
► 02:29:00
They refused.
► 02:29:01
And then he dropped them out of the car, went and dropped the body somewhere.
► 02:29:05
Someone found the body, and then they came after him.
► 02:29:08
Oh, shit.
► 02:29:08
That'd be tough to dig a hole.
► 02:29:09
Bro, the way Ari lives.
► 02:29:10
I just think he died.
► 02:29:10
I don't think he died.
► 02:29:11
It's astonishing.
► 02:29:13
Ari leaves like a ghost in the night.
► 02:29:15
Well, he's old.
► 02:29:15
They got to piss every 10 minutes.
► 02:29:16
I'm older than him.
► 02:29:17
He drinks broom juice, it goes right through you.
► 02:29:25
So, as an argument, he just shot the guy?
► 02:29:27
You'd think it would take so long for him to pull out the gun, he would just smack it out of his head.
► 02:29:32
You'd think.
► 02:29:32
But I think when that guy comes up to you, you're like, what are you going to do?
► 02:29:35
You're not scared.
► 02:29:36
So the guy's got all the time in the world.
► 02:29:38
I'd be so scared if I saw that guy.
► 02:29:39
Oh, my God.
► 02:29:40
He's like a slug.
► 02:29:42
He's very capable.
► 02:29:44
He looks like Toe Jam.
► 02:29:47
Toe Jam and Earl.
► 02:29:50
What a pull.
► 02:29:51
Wow.
► 02:29:54
I mean, we'd be mean to him.
► 02:29:57
I want to make fun of him for being mean He's in jail.
► 02:30:02
He's in jail right now?
► 02:30:05
You better believe it.
► 02:30:06
Huh.
► 02:30:07
Found in a nearby yard.
► 02:30:09
That's who you want as your bunk mate.
► 02:30:10
He's not really.
► 02:30:10
He's now dead at the scene.
► 02:30:11
He was tracked to Virginia Hospital and arrested.
► 02:30:14
He was in a hospital.
► 02:30:15
Why was he in a hospital?
► 02:30:16
Maryland.
► 02:30:18
Well, did they get in a fight?
► 02:30:20
Yeah, witnesses said the guy was in a fight.
► 02:30:21
So, rarely in the news.
► 02:30:22
So, the guy punched him and he had to go to the hospital?
► 02:30:25
So, he was tracked to a hospital.
► 02:30:26
So, the guy who he shot was the guy punching him?
► 02:30:30
Sounds about right.
► 02:30:31
You know what I'm saying?
► 02:30:32
You're punching a guy with no arms and no legs.
► 02:30:34
He's got to do something to fight back.
► 02:30:37
Shoot you.
► 02:30:37
But that's what's weird.
► 02:30:38
It's like, it says.
► 02:30:40
It looks so happy.
► 02:30:41
But if it says he went to a hospital, why did he have to go to a hospital?
► 02:30:45
Mad rifle.
► 02:30:46
Mad rifle.
► 02:30:47
That's what they say.
► 02:30:49
Riding high in April.
► 02:30:51
Yeah, it says offense.
► 02:30:52
They're tracking him to the hospital.
► 02:30:52
That's all it says.
► 02:30:53
Yeah, but why was he in the hospital?
► 02:30:55
So, did they get in a fist fight and he pulled the gun on the guy who was beating his ass?
► 02:30:59
Let's get him to the hospital.
► 02:31:01
I'm fine.
► 02:31:02
They were like, holy shit, take him to New York.
► 02:31:04
But it's a weird situation.
► 02:31:06
If he was at a hospital, why was he at a hospital?
► 02:31:08
We don't know the whole story.
► 02:31:11
I don't know.
► 02:31:12
Anyway, he plays a mean cornhole.
► 02:31:15
A mean cornhole.
► 02:31:16
A mean cornhole.
► 02:31:18
Pull the body out of the car.
► 02:31:19
They said no.
► 02:31:20
They got out of the car instead and he drove off with the body still in the car.
► 02:31:24
Oh, boy.
► 02:31:24
How's he going to get him out of the car?
► 02:31:25
He's got no arms.
► 02:31:26
Damn, is that Bieber in the middle?
► 02:31:28
It's Bieber.
► 02:31:28
Oh, I thought it was the same crime.
► 02:31:30
I was like, wait.
► 02:31:31
Celebrity.
► 02:31:31
What did Bieber get arrested for?
► 02:31:33
By the way, go back up.
► 02:31:34
Look how dashing Bieber is in his mugshot.
► 02:31:36
Did Bieber get arrested for looking cute?
► 02:31:38
Perfectly straight teeth.
► 02:31:39
Who knows?
► 02:31:39
Lohan's not bad either.
► 02:31:41
Lohan's not bad there.
► 02:31:42
Lohan rules, dude.
► 02:31:43
Lohan's hot again.
► 02:31:44
I co starred in a movie with Lohan.
► 02:31:45
She's back.
► 02:31:46
Oh, good.
► 02:31:47
Lohan's back.
► 02:31:47
You co starred in a movie with Lohan?
► 02:31:48
Yeah, worst movie of all time.
► 02:31:50
Who was that?
► 02:31:51
Inappropriate comedy.
► 02:31:53
Directed by the Shamwell guy.
► 02:31:56
Lohan?
► 02:31:56
You're in that?
► 02:31:57
Lohan?
► 02:31:58
We had an Academy Award winner, Adrian Brody.
► 02:32:00
What?
► 02:32:02
What?
► 02:32:02
Adrian Brody's in that?
► 02:32:03
Crazy, the pianist.
► 02:32:04
Who's the chick who got drunk driving who was in the Avatar?
► 02:32:07
Boom, that one at the end, Rodriguez.
► 02:32:09
Wow.
► 02:32:09
I don't know if she got a DUE.
► 02:32:11
Rob Schneider's in that?
► 02:32:12
Oh, but everybody.
► 02:32:13
Who's the middle lady with the dress?
► 02:32:15
Is that really the worst movie ever?
► 02:32:18
It was on Rotten Tomatoes as the worst movie of all time.
► 02:32:20
And for a while it had zero.
► 02:32:22
How did Adrian Brody?
► 02:32:23
He just started to get roped into that.
► 02:32:24
Yeah, what happened to him then?
► 02:32:25
He got roped into that.
► 02:32:26
He was in a downturn of his career.
► 02:32:29
He came back.
► 02:32:29
He was on a downswing.
► 02:32:31
You know what's crazy about Brody is banging Harvey's ass.
► 02:32:33
Am I in there?
► 02:32:34
Oh, you know who else is in there?
► 02:32:35
Oh, Theo Vaughn.
► 02:32:39
Vaughn Climber.
► 02:32:39
All right.
► 02:32:40
Wow.
► 02:32:41
Ari Shafir.
► 02:32:41
There we go.
► 02:32:42
And the amazing racist.
► 02:32:43
With some writing on this.
► 02:32:45
Dante.
► 02:32:45
Christina Poziski did some writing on this.
► 02:32:47
Okay.
► 02:32:48
How about that?
► 02:32:49
Dante as the racist assistant.
► 02:32:51
Rob Schneider as JD.
► 02:32:52
That's when I was offering black people a free trip back to Africa.
► 02:32:58
You really did it, man.
► 02:32:59
You really went for it.
► 02:33:00
Back then.
► 02:33:01
So, when you got the script, did you realize it was going to be that bad?
► 02:33:04
There was no script.
► 02:33:06
Vince came to me and was like, Hey, those amazing racists you did, can we make more of those?
► 02:33:09
And I'm like, I don't own them.
► 02:33:11
And he goes, Can we make new ones?
► 02:33:12
And I was like, Yeah, if you want to.
► 02:33:13
Hey, it earned $172K.
► 02:33:14
$625, it's opening theater.
► 02:33:19
There were some expenses.
► 02:33:23
There were all these pictures of one person in the theater.
► 02:33:27
I like how it says inappropriate, but for some reason, APP was about apps.
► 02:33:32
Dude, it was all about apps.
► 02:33:34
There's a whole backstory line.
► 02:33:35
None of it made any sense.
► 02:33:36
Like dating apps?
► 02:33:37
Yeah.
► 02:33:38
But wait, what year was this?
► 02:33:39
Oh, okay.
► 02:33:40
That's a good question.
► 02:33:41
2013.
► 02:33:42
I remember.
► 02:33:42
Was there even this by myself?
► 02:33:44
Was it 2013?
► 02:33:44
They were just beginning a match.
► 02:33:45
It was a big deal.
► 02:33:46
They added it to a 625.
► 02:33:48
Dude, this movie was so fun.
► 02:33:50
I've never heard of this in my life.
► 02:33:51
We went to the border and I was doing a setup scene and some people were fucking running and crossing.
► 02:33:56
But it's so crazy.
► 02:33:56
Like, Adrian Broder is a fucking legit actor.
► 02:34:00
He was down and then back up.
► 02:34:02
They gave him money.
► 02:34:03
Why did he go down?
► 02:34:04
He did a movie with you?
► 02:34:06
Well, he was in a separate scene.
► 02:34:07
He was in Dirt, Flirty Harry.
► 02:34:10
Flirty Harry.
► 02:34:13
So, but why?
► 02:34:14
What the fuck is going on?
► 02:34:16
That's a wow guy.
► 02:34:17
He went to jail too.
► 02:34:18
Young Theo.
► 02:34:20
Oh my God.
► 02:34:21
Look at Ari.
► 02:34:23
Wow.
► 02:34:23
Young Theo.
► 02:34:24
Oh my God, bro.
► 02:34:25
We should have a screening of this on the next Protect Our Parks.
► 02:34:28
I would love to see this.
► 02:34:29
Let's watch it and talk.
► 02:34:31
Bro, this looks so bad.
► 02:34:32
This is horrible.
► 02:34:34
It's so bad.
► 02:34:35
Who's the girl?
► 02:34:35
The girl with the brunette right there?
► 02:34:37
Rodriguez.
► 02:34:38
Oh, the girl from Aliens?
► 02:34:40
Isn't she in Aliens too?
► 02:34:42
I don't know.
► 02:34:43
Maybe.
► 02:34:43
See if she's in Aliens.
► 02:34:44
She's Vin Diesel's lady.
► 02:34:46
That's crazy.
► 02:34:47
They got her in this?
► 02:34:48
Yeah, kids in cages.
► 02:34:50
How does this sham wow guy talk everybody into this?
► 02:34:55
Money, bro.
► 02:34:56
GS gave me advice.
► 02:34:57
He was like, hey, they want me to do this thing.
► 02:34:58
He goes, Ari, every once in a while, so people in Hollywood.
► 02:35:02
Oh, there it is.
► 02:35:03
Shane, you can't laugh at this.
► 02:35:04
Young Ari.
► 02:35:05
Should I send this one out?
► 02:35:07
We'll take it from here.
► 02:35:09
I will say, so like, you guys were making dog shit like this.
► 02:35:12
Yeah.
► 02:35:13
And then I was like, because I wasn't really around for that.
► 02:35:16
Yeah.
► 02:35:16
And then it's like, man, I can't believe cancel culture exists.
► 02:35:19
It's like, oh, now I get it.
► 02:35:21
Yeah, put an end to this horse shit.
► 02:35:25
That's so bad.
► 02:35:26
I'm with the limbs now.
► 02:35:29
That shit stinks.
► 02:35:31
It inspired everybody.
► 02:35:33
2013.
► 02:35:35
Yeah.
► 02:35:36
Those amazing racist videos were probably like 2005, 6, 7.
► 02:35:39
Yeah, five, I think.
► 02:35:40
Because it was before, I think those videos were before the whole Mencia thing at the store.
► 02:35:46
That's right.
► 02:35:47
Because he was like, who are you to say anything about racial jokes?
► 02:35:50
Somebody's like, amazing racist?
► 02:35:51
Yeah.
► 02:35:52
He was like, sorry, what was the point for that?
► 02:35:54
Yeah.
► 02:35:55
Wow.
► 02:35:56
That's crazy they got Adrian Brody because he's probably paid money to try to get that released, like, deleted.
► 02:36:03
I've never heard of it.
► 02:36:04
No one even knows about it.
► 02:36:05
They do now.
► 02:36:05
They do now.
► 02:36:06
That's right.
► 02:36:07
You have a million people are currently listening.
► 02:36:10
Yeah.
► 02:36:10
You guys are actually going to make a fucking ton of money on that movie.
► 02:36:13
Shaman guy.
► 02:36:14
I love events.
► 02:36:15
Oh, yeah.
► 02:36:15
He did kill Tony.
► 02:36:17
Recently?
► 02:36:17
Yeah.
► 02:36:18
About a year ago.
► 02:36:18
I remember he got caught biting that hook.
► 02:36:20
No, the hook was biting his tongue and he had to, like, get off my fucking tongue.
► 02:36:23
And he was like, Like, he did something.
► 02:36:25
I assaulted a hooker and got arrested.
► 02:36:27
That's not so bad.
► 02:36:28
What was he doing with his tongue?
► 02:36:29
She bit it.
► 02:36:30
Why would you have your tongue involved in a hooker at all?
► 02:36:33
Friendship.
► 02:36:33
What's happening?
► 02:36:33
Yeah, you don't kiss a hooker.
► 02:36:35
Well, you do if you're drunk.
► 02:36:36
Passionately.
► 02:36:36
Yeah.
► 02:36:37
Let's go.
► 02:36:37
Sometimes you pay for just kisses.
► 02:36:39
Let's go.
► 02:36:40
I wish you were my girlfriend.
► 02:36:42
We knew a guy at the comedy store who would pay extra.
► 02:36:45
I'm not going to say who, but who would pay extra to fuck, to go down on hookers without.
► 02:36:53
Really?
► 02:36:53
Yes.
► 02:36:54
To go down on hookers.
► 02:36:55
You don't know him.
► 02:36:56
Wow.
► 02:36:57
He would pay a forester for that?
► 02:36:59
Oh, he paid a forester for that?
► 02:37:00
Oh, he paid a forester for that?
► 02:37:01
He's a fucking sham wow guy.
► 02:37:02
He's the funniest.
► 02:37:03
He would be open about it.
► 02:37:04
He's like, nah, they want to shut it down.
► 02:37:06
This sham wow guy is running for Congress?
► 02:37:08
I'll vote for him.
► 02:37:09
Make America grow some balls again.
► 02:37:11
Like here, it's like Cedar Park.
► 02:37:13
What?
► 02:37:13
Yeah.
► 02:37:14
What?
► 02:37:14
What is his first nine bills in Congress?
► 02:37:16
Post release with a headset?
► 02:37:18
No tax on Social Security.
► 02:37:20
That's reasonable.
► 02:37:20
Great.
► 02:37:21
Parental class view.
► 02:37:23
Don't know what that is.
► 02:37:23
What does that mean?
► 02:37:24
Ring cameras to protect our homes.
► 02:37:26
We do not.
► 02:37:26
Oh, and classes.
► 02:37:27
A woke bus.
► 02:37:28
Oh, ring cameras in classes.
► 02:37:29
That's not a bad idea.
► 02:37:30
Yeah.
► 02:37:31
N triple X on X. Pornography on X.
► 02:37:33
Oh, boo.
► 02:37:35
Sounds like this guy wants to jerk off the kids.
► 02:37:38
And he's pretending to be a congressman to go, we should set up cameras in schools.
► 02:37:42
Healthy screen acts.
► 02:37:43
I like number five.
► 02:37:44
Cowboy coats for kids.
► 02:37:45
Has to be a human at customer service.
► 02:37:47
I like that.
► 02:37:47
That's not bad.
► 02:37:48
That's someone who's annoyed.
► 02:37:49
Like, agent!
► 02:37:51
Agent!
► 02:37:51
Yeah.
► 02:37:52
That'll ruin India.
► 02:37:54
Oh, interesting.
► 02:37:55
Children need to pray.
► 02:37:56
Oh, come on.
► 02:37:57
A lot of kids' stuff coming out of this guy.
► 02:37:59
Yeah.
► 02:38:00
Does he have children?
► 02:38:01
Cowboy coats for kids.
► 02:38:02
Find out if he actually has children.
► 02:38:04
I doubt it.
► 02:38:05
Let's find out the Shamwell guy.
► 02:38:06
We got a Jew here, Shlomi.
► 02:38:08
Oh, yeah.
► 02:38:08
I got to tell you, he sent me a Shamwell jacket.
► 02:38:11
Oh, did you wear it entirely out of Shamwell?
► 02:38:14
Did you wear it everywhere?
► 02:38:15
He is a charming fellow.
► 02:38:17
He must be great when it rains out and that thing weighs 80 pounds.
► 02:38:20
Wear that for the roast.
► 02:38:22
I go, great.
► 02:38:23
Now I weigh 375 pounds.
► 02:38:26
Find out if that guy has a family.
► 02:38:28
His story is actually pretty interesting.
► 02:38:29
It's kind of odd that he's concentrating so much on it.
► 02:38:31
He would just sell shit in Atlantic City, like on the streets.
► 02:38:33
I think it was the Bad World.
► 02:38:34
And he was just great at it.
► 02:38:35
And he goes, I'll take out like Byron Allen late night spots and just sell to more people.
► 02:38:40
He must have made so much money.
► 02:38:41
He made a ton of money.
► 02:38:42
He made a fortune.
► 02:38:42
Shamwell was nice.
► 02:38:43
I'll tell you, I got a good Shamwell story.
► 02:38:45
One time I was staying at my buddy's house and I stood up in the middle of the night.
► 02:38:51
He gave me his bed, so I was in that.
► 02:38:52
But his roommate was in the other bed.
► 02:38:54
It was in college.
► 02:38:55
And I just stood up and pissed on the other guy's bed while he was in it.
► 02:38:59
Oh, damn.
► 02:39:00
And then in the morning, I got a sham well.
► 02:39:03
He soaked it all up?
► 02:39:04
He just pressed it against this guy.
► 02:39:06
Is that what it does?
► 02:39:07
It soaks?
► 02:39:07
Yeah.
► 02:39:08
It soaks really well.
► 02:39:09
It's a chamois cloth.
► 02:39:10
A chamois cloth is the thing they used to wash cars with forever.
► 02:39:13
He said he went to seven companies in Korea.
► 02:39:15
He goes, send me each one.
► 02:39:17
He goes, this one's the best one.
► 02:39:18
All right, put my name on that and run it around.
► 02:39:19
So is it like a synthetic version of a chamois cloth?
► 02:39:22
Because the chamois cloth is like an animal skin cloth that you use to clean cars with.
Shamwell Garage Car Story
00:07:59
► 02:39:27
No, I do.
► 02:39:28
Yeah, chamois cloth is like you wash the car and then the car has all this water on it.
► 02:39:32
You use the chamois cloth first and then you polish it with like microfiber cloth.
► 02:39:36
Yeah, it's what it is.
► 02:39:37
Actually, yeah, it's very absorbent.
► 02:39:40
Yeah, I like the chamois thing.
► 02:39:42
Yeah, it's good.
► 02:39:43
You're breaking them up.
► 02:39:43
It reminds me of, yeah.
► 02:39:44
Yeah, I used to do that.
► 02:39:46
Yeah, I used to work at a car wash.
► 02:39:47
I used to work at a car wash.
► 02:39:48
I used to work at an auto auction.
► 02:39:49
Yeah, you do.
► 02:39:50
In a dealership and a garage.
► 02:39:51
Oh, there you go.
► 02:39:51
I used to do it all the time.
► 02:39:52
Which is why tires is so good.
► 02:39:54
It's out of knowledge, for sure.
► 02:39:56
You're right, what you know.
► 02:39:56
Bro, you need a Muscle car.
► 02:39:58
You need a muscle car, Shane.
► 02:40:01
Hey, Shane, you know this car that some purchasers made?
► 02:40:03
I'm doing it wrong.
► 02:40:04
No, no, no, he's not doing it wrong.
► 02:40:05
I'm happy with that one.
► 02:40:06
That's the one's great.
► 02:40:07
But how about also, how about also you get like a modern muscle car that works really well?
► 02:40:11
Like a charger?
► 02:40:12
Do you know about Revology Mustangs?
► 02:40:15
Bullet?
► 02:40:15
Have you ever seen my 68 Mustang?
► 02:40:17
Yes.
► 02:40:17
My Bullet Mustang?
► 02:40:18
Yeah, that shit rocks, right?
► 02:40:19
There's a company, this company, Revology, they're the shit.
► 02:40:22
They make a brand new 1969 Mustang.
► 02:40:26
Well, that's what I wanted.
► 02:40:27
Look at that.
► 02:40:28
This is Revology.
► 02:40:30
What do you mean, Brandon?
► 02:40:33
The boss?
► 02:40:33
So, this is, no, it's the guy, Tom Scarpello.
► 02:40:37
He worked at Ford.
► 02:40:39
He made the Ford GT.
► 02:40:39
Can you imagine me getting out of that in fucking gym shorts?
► 02:40:42
Me?
► 02:40:42
I do it all the time.
► 02:40:43
You look cool.
► 02:40:44
I would look American.
► 02:40:45
You look cool.
► 02:40:46
You look fucking American!
► 02:40:49
You do look American.
► 02:40:50
You look American.
► 02:40:51
So, that's what I have.
► 02:40:53
I have that car on the left.
► 02:40:55
I have that car on the left.
► 02:40:57
I have.
► 02:40:58
What?
► 02:40:58
You have that one of the blue?
► 02:41:00
That is blue.
► 02:41:03
Like Steve McQueen's?
► 02:41:05
I have a green one, a 68, but the point is, he makes the new one, which is even cooler looking, the 69.
► 02:41:11
Go to models, Jamie.
► 02:41:12
The 67 is the one.
► 02:41:13
Go to models, and this is.
► 02:41:15
This is a 6.5.
► 02:41:16
No, The new 69 is the shit.
► 02:41:18
That one, the Boss, the Boss 429.
► 02:41:21
Click on that.
► 02:41:22
So it's just an old body with a new car.
► 02:41:24
But it's not an old body.
► 02:41:25
It's a brand new exact version.
► 02:41:28
Yes, it's a full factory.
► 02:41:30
It's a full factory, but it's completely reliable.
► 02:41:33
I can't drive that.
► 02:41:34
This is like two Jordan 1s.
► 02:41:36
I will force you at gunpoint to drive that.
► 02:41:38
You need one of those.
► 02:41:39
You need a black one.
► 02:41:40
No, I need a 97 Land Cruiser.
► 02:41:42
Ooh, that's a cool car.
► 02:41:44
Oh, you do?
► 02:41:45
Yeah.
► 02:41:45
That's what I was thinking.
► 02:41:46
I have a 95 with a supercharged Corvette engine in it.
► 02:41:49
And I need a new car.
► 02:41:50
You and I couldn't wait long enough to get one.
► 02:41:52
What you got is perfect.
► 02:41:53
What you got is perfect.
► 02:41:54
That's Buick Regal.
► 02:41:55
Do you want to tell people what you got?
► 02:41:56
I need a Libera now.
► 02:41:57
No, they'll tell me what you got.
► 02:41:59
But what you got, so that's a cool car.
► 02:42:02
That's a real car.
► 02:42:02
I love those.
► 02:42:04
Jamie, pull up mine.
► 02:42:05
I have a 1995 that TLC made me, and I had to put a supercharged Corvette engine in it, and then I had Colvin Automotive.
► 02:42:13
Change the supercharger, jack it up to 800 horsepower.
► 02:42:17
It's got dual exhaust now.
► 02:42:18
Oh, it's a total apocalypse car.
► 02:42:20
It's got a gun safe in it.
► 02:42:21
It's got everything.
► 02:42:22
Who's the nerd?
► 02:42:23
That's my friend Jonathan Ward who fucking built the car for me.
► 02:42:26
He's the man.
► 02:42:27
Now, Jamie, call up a 2017 Toyota Corolla.
► 02:42:30
That guy needs a wedgie.
► 02:42:32
You need a 69 Boss.
► 02:42:34
That's what you need.
► 02:42:35
I love a 69 Boss.
► 02:42:36
Oh, you got the winch.
► 02:42:37
Yeah, oh, it's got everything.
► 02:42:38
You're amazing.
► 02:42:38
Well, I got this when I was worried that, well, I had a family and I was worried that at one point in time LA was going to experience an apocalypse and I had to be able to drive somewhere where there's no roads no roads.
► 02:42:47
So, I got an extra large gas tank on that thing.
► 02:42:50
Nice.
► 02:42:51
I have steel bumpers all around, rock sliders on the side.
► 02:42:54
I wanted to make it so I could just go.
► 02:42:56
Run over protesters.
► 02:42:57
I can't wait to get away.
► 02:42:58
I can't wait to die at the gates in front of your house when the apocalypse happens.
► 02:43:02
You're not going to die.
► 02:43:03
I can't wait for someone to come out, dog.
► 02:43:06
I'm going to let you in.
► 02:43:07
Come on, dog.
► 02:43:08
Please, please, Joe.
► 02:43:09
Come on.
► 02:43:10
How dare you?
► 02:43:11
Save me.
► 02:43:12
You park there like, do not get out of your car.
► 02:43:14
By then, we'll be at the ranch.
► 02:43:15
We'll have the ranch fully operational by now.
► 02:43:18
But between now and then, you know.
► 02:43:20
Fucking Mustang.
► 02:43:21
You need a boss.
► 02:43:22
Brother.
► 02:43:23
Is Mustang the only one they make?
► 02:43:25
Can we get like an old Porsche?
► 02:43:26
Can I get an old.
► 02:43:27
Well, there's plenty of companies that do that.
► 02:43:28
Too big for an old Porsche.
► 02:43:29
You're too big for a Porsche.
► 02:43:30
Yeah.
► 02:43:31
A Land Cruiser would be good.
► 02:43:32
This is another company called RSR Recreations.
► 02:43:36
They make a 911.
► 02:43:38
You can get it with no fucking AC, no nothing.
► 02:43:41
It only weighs 2,000 pounds.
► 02:43:45
Dancing Jews.
► 02:43:46
I knew about it on 910.
► 02:43:48
Dancing Israelis.
► 02:43:50
They're another building.
► 02:43:51
Don't Google dancing Israelis, whatever you do.
► 02:43:53
Don't read into that story.
► 02:43:55
You'll go, hey, what?
► 02:43:56
Wait a second.
► 02:43:57
Deal doesn't build.
► 02:43:59
Apex?
► 02:44:00
How much money?
► 02:44:00
All right, there's my fucking platform.
► 02:44:02
Okay, what about.
► 02:44:03
I don't care.
► 02:44:04
Let's get rid of Apex.
► 02:44:05
Let's get rid of all those fucking ones.
► 02:44:06
What's Apex?
► 02:44:06
Well, money and politics.
► 02:44:08
Yeah.
► 02:44:08
Yeah, all lobbies.
► 02:44:09
Not just Apex.
► 02:44:09
Just the ones that are convenient.
► 02:44:10
You need a muscle car.
► 02:44:13
If you don't want to get that, how about a new muscle car?
► 02:44:16
How about a Shelby Super Snake R?
► 02:44:21
Brother, I'm never driving that, bro.
► 02:44:23
I bet you should.
► 02:44:25
You need one car.
► 02:44:26
You need none.
► 02:44:27
What?
► 02:44:27
You need one car to drive one car.
► 02:44:29
I have a pretty small house and a tiny garage.
► 02:44:31
What are you, a communist?
► 02:44:33
You need to get a new house.
► 02:44:35
First of all, you need to do your fucking.
► 02:44:38
Baller now.
► 02:44:39
So you need a new house.
► 02:44:40
Look at that.
► 02:44:40
That's a Shelby Super Snake car.
► 02:44:42
He can't drive that.
► 02:44:43
You know what that would look like?
► 02:44:44
Me getting out or bringing a girl in there and going, I have 850 fucking horsepower.
► 02:44:49
That's going to be great to pull him to a parking lot.
► 02:44:52
Shut up, Ari.
► 02:44:53
Get on the highway.
► 02:44:56
Get on the highway.
► 02:44:58
I go, R.A., please get a nice car.
► 02:45:01
Please just get a nice car.
► 02:45:02
How about a Cadillac Blackwing?
► 02:45:04
2022 Cadillac.
► 02:45:04
How about one of these?
► 02:45:05
How about a CT5V Blackwing?
► 02:45:09
How about that?
► 02:45:09
Can't have a caddy?
► 02:45:10
Come on.
► 02:45:11
I agree.
► 02:45:11
If I saw someone do that, I'd be like, bro, those things fucking move.
► 02:45:13
That's my dad's car.
► 02:45:14
Just got a sensible Mitsubishi.
► 02:45:16
That is not your dad's car.
► 02:45:17
That's a Blackwing.
► 02:45:18
That thing has almost 700 horsepower.
► 02:45:21
Very reliable.
► 02:45:22
Very reliable.
► 02:45:23
You can solder the fucking hood shut for five years.
► 02:45:26
Why would you do that, R.A.?
► 02:45:27
You have money too, R.A. You drive me crazy.
► 02:45:29
I was trying to get him to buy a BMW M3 in like 2008.
► 02:45:33
That'd be nice.
► 02:45:34
I love a BMW.
► 02:45:34
Why didn't you do it?
► 02:45:36
Because I had to put all my money to this goddamn storytelling show.
► 02:45:38
No, but you're going to pay me.
► 02:45:39
I put my money into that.
► 02:45:40
Yeah, but you made it back already.
► 02:45:41
You told me you made it back.
► 02:45:42
You spent more money.
► 02:45:43
Yeah, I didn't make the budget back.
► 02:45:44
The end available right now at RT.
► 02:45:45
I've tried for years, maybe decades, to try to talk you into buying a nice car.
► 02:45:50
Yeah.
► 02:45:50
You can't.
► 02:45:51
Look at that hat.
► 02:45:51
It's New York.
► 02:45:52
You can't have a nice car in New York.
► 02:45:53
Yeah, you can't have a nice car.
► 02:45:54
I got an old BMW.
► 02:45:55
If you've had enough money to have a house other places, just get a house out here.
► 02:46:00
Get a house out here with a garage and keep some nice cars in it so you can fucking roll.
► 02:46:03
Do you have enough money for that?
► 02:46:04
Pull me.
► 02:46:05
You spent all your money in Mazamon.
► 02:46:07
I'll give you the fucking money.
► 02:46:08
Tell me what car you want to buy.
► 02:46:09
Well, hold on a second.
► 02:46:10
Are you buying houses?
► 02:46:11
Oh, Lamborghini.
► 02:46:11
I'm buying him a car, not a house.
► 02:46:13
I'm still waiting to get a watch.
► 02:46:15
I held out.
► 02:46:15
He said, Watch.
► 02:46:16
I'm like, I'll hold out for car.
► 02:46:17
He gave you a watch.
► 02:46:18
You didn't wear it.
► 02:46:19
That's a Casio.
► 02:46:21
It's a Rolex.
► 02:46:21
I would buy you a watch if you'd wear it.
► 02:46:23
If I buy you a watch, will you wear it?
► 02:46:24
Sure.
► 02:46:25
How many times?
► 02:46:26
Every day.
► 02:46:27
I'm thinking of something.
► 02:46:27
Really?
► 02:46:28
I shower with this.
► 02:46:29
Right, but if I bought you a real watch, would you wear it?
► 02:46:31
I mean, not like a Rolex.
► 02:46:32
One of those astronaut fuckers.
► 02:46:33
You're not going to wear a Rolex.
► 02:46:34
Okay, you didn't wear it.
► 02:46:36
Yeah, but I don't want to.
► 02:46:37
Next, protect our parks.
► 02:46:39
I'm going to get you a Speedmaster watch.
► 02:46:40
Pause, hold on.
► 02:46:41
Omega's going to say.
► 02:46:41
Can I tell you what he wants?
► 02:46:42
Shamwell was a Speedmaster.
► 02:46:43
He wants that size watch, not a bulky one.
► 02:46:45
He wants a thinner watch.
► 02:46:47
All right, listen.
► 02:46:48
I like a small watch.
► 02:46:49
This is not too big.
► 02:46:50
This is a Rolex, but it's on a rubber strap.
► 02:46:54
It's a little understated.
► 02:46:56
G-Shock Rules.
► 02:46:58
Would you wear that?
► 02:46:59
Indiglow?
► 02:47:01
I like a metal band, but yeah, it's a good-looking watch.
► 02:47:03
$100,000?
► 02:47:05
What did Louis get you?
► 02:47:07
He got me the oyster face, or what do you call it?
► 02:47:10
Oh, okay.
► 02:47:10
It's really nice, and it's inscribed in the back.
► 02:47:12
Thanks for working with me, LCK.
► 02:47:14
You don't even wear it.
► 02:47:15
It's on my shelf, it's propped up.
► 02:47:17
Okay.
► 02:47:18
So, if I buy you an Omega, you're going to wear it.
► 02:47:20
Hell yeah.
► 02:47:21
You don't have to buy me an Omega.
► 02:47:22
Shut up.
► 02:47:23
Just fuck it around.
► 02:47:23
It's over.
► 02:47:24
Norman, Norman, you're going to love this.
Rodney Dangerfield Security Guard
00:04:18
► 02:47:26
Egit gave me the coolest thing that I have, which was Norm McDonald's cup on the late night with Letterman.
► 02:47:35
The actual mug from the late night.
► 02:47:37
Egit gave me this.
► 02:47:38
The coolest thing.
► 02:47:39
Pull that up.
► 02:47:39
From Norm doing.
► 02:47:42
Talk show?
► 02:47:43
Oh, Letterman.
► 02:47:43
So, he had that.
► 02:47:44
He brought it home.
► 02:47:44
That's cool.
► 02:47:45
Wow, that's a great one.
► 02:47:47
That's the best gift I got.
► 02:47:48
That's an amazing one.
► 02:47:49
Protect that.
► 02:47:50
That'd be scary.
► 02:47:50
I would break that.
► 02:47:52
Imagine if a chick comes over your house and drops that.
► 02:47:54
Can I have a cup of tea?
► 02:47:55
I would punch it.
► 02:47:56
Whoopsie.
► 02:47:57
Oh, I protect it.
► 02:47:57
It's on my mantle.
► 02:47:58
It's in the middle.
► 02:47:59
It's above my floor.
► 02:48:00
Wow, that's great.
► 02:48:01
I put like ring ropes around it to cushion it.
► 02:48:03
Yeah, I probably should.
► 02:48:04
Mickey Mantle.
► 02:48:05
Yeah.
► 02:48:06
Mickey Mantle.
► 02:48:08
That's a good one.
► 02:48:09
That was the best one.
► 02:48:10
Those Rodney notes are great.
► 02:48:11
Oh, my God.
► 02:48:12
Isn't that amazing in the green room?
► 02:48:13
Those handwritten Rodney notes from his Tonight Show special.
► 02:48:16
Yes, Rodney's cool.
► 02:48:17
Whitney got us those.
► 02:48:18
Rodney's wife donated.
► 02:48:19
She found out about the club.
► 02:48:21
She knew we were doing it and she donated it.
► 02:48:22
To us.
► 02:48:23
Wow.
► 02:48:23
Very cool.
► 02:48:24
It's a cool thing to see in there.
► 02:48:26
It's amazing.
► 02:48:27
And you get to read them and you see how he would make the punchlines bold and all the notes and then bold punchline.
► 02:48:34
Oh, yeah.
► 02:48:34
It's cool.
► 02:48:35
It's like the feeling, the spirit of joke writing is in that room.
► 02:48:39
He was a drug addict.
► 02:48:41
Allegedly.
► 02:48:41
No, I was a drug addict.
► 02:48:42
The coolest thing about Ronnie was that when weed was illegal.
► 02:48:45
He enjoyed drugs.
► 02:48:46
I don't know if he was a drug addict.
► 02:48:48
When weed was illegal and cops would come into a club he was in, he was just smoking weed.
► 02:48:52
He would just go up to him and be like, hello, officer, how are you doing?
► 02:48:54
Just holding.
► 02:48:54
Yeah.
► 02:48:55
He knew he was immune.
► 02:48:56
No one's going to touch over him.
► 02:48:57
I told you guys when I worked as a security guard, when I got to see Rodney perform, when I worked as a security guard.
► 02:49:02
Whoa.
► 02:49:03
I know he beat up a guy with a walkie talkie.
► 02:49:05
No, I didn't beat him up.
► 02:49:06
No, that was Alley Cat.
► 02:49:07
That was my boss.
► 02:49:08
He beat Alley Cat.
► 02:49:09
That was Alley Cat.
► 02:49:10
First day.
► 02:49:11
No, that was the first thing I heard you say.
► 02:49:14
I was like, damn, Joe's old.
► 02:49:15
He hit a boy.
► 02:49:16
He was like, no, that was my boy, Alley Cat.
► 02:49:18
That was the boss.
► 02:49:19
Alley Cat was the boss.
► 02:49:21
So what happened was one of the guys from my Taekwondo gym got hired to be security.
► 02:49:28
And they were like, bro, it's like 50 bucks an hour.
► 02:49:30
It's really cool.
► 02:49:30
You get to see concerts.
► 02:49:32
So we all went and I got to see Rodney there.
► 02:49:34
Rodney was backstage with nothing on but a bathrobe.
► 02:49:38
Open?
► 02:49:38
He was completely naked.
► 02:49:40
No, I didn't see that.
► 02:49:41
I saw him walking around with slippers and a bathrobe.
► 02:49:43
And then he went on stage with nothing but a bathrobe.
► 02:49:46
Damn.
► 02:49:46
Bathrobe naked underneath it.
► 02:49:48
What?
► 02:49:48
Went on stage that way?
► 02:49:49
That's amazing.
► 02:49:50
1986.
► 02:49:51
Okay.
► 02:49:52
Wow.
► 02:49:52
And fucking destroyed.
► 02:49:54
I was 19.
► 02:49:55
I was mesmerized.
► 02:49:57
And back then, I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy.
► 02:49:59
I was just.
► 02:50:00
Fighting and I was enjoying it, and I was like, This is this guy's so free.
► 02:50:04
I remember thinking that.
► 02:50:05
Yes.
► 02:50:05
Like, this guy's on stage with a, I mean, destroying.
► 02:50:10
I got no respect, no respect at all.
► 02:50:12
And the fucking place is going nuts.
► 02:50:14
He was killing punchline after punchline after punchline.
► 02:50:18
I was 19.
► 02:50:19
I mean, I was blown away.
► 02:50:20
And you were working.
► 02:50:21
I was working.
► 02:50:22
Yeah.
► 02:50:23
That's a good gig.
► 02:50:24
Got to see the shows.
► 02:50:25
That was also the job that I quit when, you know, the whole thing happened with COVID where Neil Young pulled his music off Spotify because I was giving out vaccine misinformation.
► 02:50:33
Wait, is that until he couldn't get it played elsewhere?
► 02:50:35
Yeah.
► 02:50:36
It was not really.
► 02:50:36
He didn't even own his music.
► 02:50:38
It's all bullshit.
► 02:50:39
But anyway, I didn't shit on him at the time, even though he's trying to ruin my life, because I was a Neil Young fan.
► 02:50:45
And I told the story about how when I was a security guard, the last day on the job was a Neil Young concert because a riot broke out.
► 02:50:51
And a riot broke out.
► 02:50:52
And I was like, I'm not fighting for 50 bucks an hour.
► 02:50:54
I fucking zipped up my hoodie and I just walked out and I never even got my last check.
► 02:50:59
Damn.
► 02:50:59
It was cold out in Great Woods in Mansfield, it has a whole lawn.
► 02:51:03
It's an amphitheater.
► 02:51:04
So the front.
► 02:51:06
Part that's all seated has a cover over it, and then the back part's a lawn.
► 02:51:10
It was a little cold out, so these fucking animals at the Neil Young concert started lighting bonfires.
► 02:51:15
And so the security guys had to come over and tell them, Hey, put out the fires.
► 02:51:18
And drunk guys were like, Fuck you.
► 02:51:20
And my friend Larry punched some guy, and Larry was like the nicest guy in the world.
► 02:51:23
I'm like, Oh my god, we're having a war.
► 02:51:25
And so the fight started breaking up.
► 02:51:27
And as soon as like my friends were safe and we were out, I'm like, Let's get the fuck out of here.
► 02:51:32
I put on my hoodie and I just quit.
► 02:51:34
I'm like, I'm not fighting these fucking people.
► 02:51:36
And that was my last day on the job as security guard.
► 02:51:38
I'm like, I'm not fighting these fucking people.
► 02:51:42
Fucking Neil Young.
Neil Young Concert Bonfires
00:13:08
► 02:51:45
It's so crazy.
► 02:51:45
Yeah.
► 02:51:46
It was 10.
► 02:51:47
10 Taekwondo black belts, including like national level competitors that were all security guards.
► 02:51:52
They were just waiting to kick somebody into a palm house and Neil Young fans.
► 02:51:56
We'd never, I mean, I know.
► 02:51:58
Who's Joe DeRosa?
► 02:52:01
One guy.
► 02:52:01
Okay, let's hear this.
► 02:52:02
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
► 02:52:05
All right, go.
► 02:52:08
Hold on.
► 02:52:08
Where's the volume?
► 02:52:09
I don't know.
► 02:52:09
There's no sound.
► 02:52:12
I remember that was his COVID time, huh?
► 02:52:13
Yep.
► 02:52:14
I remember you'd wear that.
► 02:52:15
Oh my god, Shane.
► 02:52:17
Is this R?
► 02:52:17
Oh, yeah, yeah.
► 02:52:19
I was like, I'll add the song.
► 02:52:21
What's the with the glasses?
► 02:52:22
I don't know.
► 02:52:23
I was doing something.
► 02:52:23
It's ski goals.
► 02:52:24
Oh my god.
► 02:52:25
This is brutal.
► 02:52:26
I forgot that was my best part.
► 02:52:27
I said, I'll add the music.
► 02:52:30
Oh, this is like a hostage video.
► 02:52:36
Please turn this off.
► 02:52:37
This is horrific.
► 02:52:38
Oh, where did he go?
► 02:52:42
Oh!
► 02:52:42
I love the DeRosa so much.
► 02:52:43
Where did he go?
► 02:52:45
Oh, man, he took it so serious.
► 02:52:49
That's not as fun as Roddy Naked.
► 02:52:51
Goddamn, Shane.
► 02:52:53
You killed me.
► 02:52:54
That was tough.
► 02:52:55
I did not enjoy that at all.
► 02:52:57
That was bad.
► 02:52:58
I'll turn it.
► 02:52:58
Did you see the Scientology speedruns that were going around?
► 02:53:01
What, Scientology?
► 02:53:02
A week or two.
► 02:53:03
Kids are breaking into Scientology places all over the country.
► 02:53:06
Most of the LA.
► 02:53:07
They're breaking into them?
► 02:53:08
Why?
► 02:53:08
Norman is just trying.
► 02:53:10
Speedruns?
► 02:53:11
Yeah.
► 02:53:11
No, let me see this.
► 02:53:12
They're trying to get as deep as they can possibly get.
► 02:53:14
Into a Scientology building?
► 02:53:15
The Scientology building removed all the doors.
► 02:53:18
The Scientology.
► 02:53:19
Speed runs.
► 02:53:21
Wow.
► 02:53:21
That guy at the White House corresponds.
► 02:53:24
Yeah.
► 02:53:25
So cold.
► 02:53:26
Oh, you want to play games?
► 02:53:27
No, I don't.
► 02:53:30
Wow.
► 02:53:31
Damn.
► 02:53:32
Speed runs is such a great way to go through something.
► 02:53:34
Just run as fast as you can.
► 02:53:35
So, this is a trend?
► 02:53:37
They'll kill you, those guys.
► 02:53:38
To the point where now that they've taken the handles off the doors on the outside.
► 02:53:43
I went last night.
► 02:53:44
Let's go.
► 02:53:45
I went.
► 02:53:45
Me and Natasha went to Scientology once.
► 02:53:48
Online.
► 02:53:48
Yeah.
► 02:53:50
And they kind of got me a little.
► 02:53:51
They were like, can we get some information from you?
► 02:53:52
I'm like, I mean, my home address if you want.
► 02:53:54
And she was like, What the fuck are you doing?
► 02:53:56
I'm like, I don't know.
► 02:53:57
They're kidding me.
► 02:53:58
The book they saw was, It's good for ages eight to eight.
► 02:54:01
Wow.
► 02:54:02
So this kid just ran through?
► 02:54:03
Whoa.
► 02:54:04
So they're just busting through.
► 02:54:05
Making noise.
► 02:54:06
Maybe whites are coming back.
► 02:54:07
Causing as much damage as they can in like 10 seconds.
► 02:54:09
They're not really doing anything other than just.
► 02:54:11
Good for them.
► 02:54:11
And all these other people behind them, are they Scientologists or are these just all kids?
► 02:54:15
These would be the kids running around.
► 02:54:16
Also, there's more than one kid.
► 02:54:18
There's multiple kids.
► 02:54:19
30 of them.
► 02:54:19
Good for them.
► 02:54:20
Some will get through.
► 02:54:21
Oh, look how deep they're going.
► 02:54:22
Yeah, they're just trying to like, what's inside?
► 02:54:23
What are you guys hiding?
► 02:54:24
I love these guys.
► 02:54:25
No one really has ever seen inside those buildings.
► 02:54:27
They're having fun.
► 02:54:28
Oh, how weird.
► 02:54:28
They just run out the exit.
► 02:54:30
Well, they're like the second biggest real estate holders in Los Angeles, I think.
► 02:54:34
Yeah.
► 02:54:34
They're crazy.
► 02:54:35
Oh, my God.
► 02:54:35
Look at this guy trying.
► 02:54:37
I think it's like China and then Scientology raid with Jesus.
► 02:54:40
They're trying to open the door.
► 02:54:41
Oh, I love it.
► 02:54:42
Oh, this is so good.
► 02:54:43
Dude, it's over.
► 02:54:43
They got you.
► 02:54:44
They deserve this.
► 02:54:45
Those guys are cunts.
► 02:54:46
I mean, look at the inside, though, too.
► 02:54:47
I've never seen that.
► 02:54:48
Scientology has a voting block in Los Angeles.
► 02:54:50
Oh, it's really cool inside.
► 02:54:52
Look at that.
► 02:54:53
Wow.
► 02:54:54
I want to go in there.
► 02:54:54
Wow.
► 02:54:56
Yeah, because you take a photo outside their building, they'll tackle you.
► 02:54:59
Well, I remember during the 90s, a lot of people were thinking about joining Scientology because it was really good for your career.
► 02:55:05
Career, right?
► 02:55:05
They had an acting class.
► 02:55:07
Yeah.
► 02:55:08
Something beast.
► 02:55:09
Yeah.
► 02:55:09
They had Wilson, Tom Cruise, Brian Callan, was in an acting class with a Scientology guy.
► 02:55:15
And I remember he was telling me that a lot of these Scientologists get really far in acting because you get connected.
► 02:55:22
Right.
► 02:55:23
They just recorded Scientology Run.
► 02:55:25
I'm good for a kid.
► 02:55:26
It just started recently, I think about this month.
► 02:55:29
Good for them.
► 02:55:30
Look at this guy moving.
► 02:55:32
Look at this guy with the fucking suits trying to stop him.
► 02:55:34
Put a handout as if that's going to do it.
► 02:55:36
Very unenthusiastic.
► 02:55:38
Hey, did you guys see the?
► 02:55:39
Fat principal who stopped the school shooting?
► 02:55:41
Yeah.
► 02:55:42
That was amazing.
► 02:55:43
What?
► 02:55:43
Yeah, he got shot.
► 02:55:44
I think it was in Virginia.
► 02:55:45
He got shot.
► 02:55:46
The guy came into the building with a gun, and this fucking principal just rushes him, grabs him, tackles him, holds on to the gun.
► 02:55:53
He got shot in the leg, apparently.
► 02:55:54
Badass.
► 02:55:55
Just a weird old fat guy.
► 02:55:56
And then he went into a party.
► 02:55:58
It was like the prom.
► 02:55:59
Yeah, it was the prom like a week later, and everybody went crazy and cheered.
► 02:56:03
He became very emotional.
► 02:56:04
He stopped shooting at 20 deaths.
► 02:56:06
Yeah, I mean, he stopped it in its tracks as the guy came in through the front door.
► 02:56:11
You do have one moment where you see it, you realize, and you're like, let's go.
► 02:56:15
School principal injured in school shooting.
► 02:56:17
Shooter identified as former student.
► 02:56:19
This isn't Oklahoma.
► 02:56:19
Former student?
► 02:56:20
Oklahoma.
► 02:56:21
That's where it is.
► 02:56:21
Wayne Coyne.
► 02:56:22
Yeah.
► 02:56:22
Wow.
► 02:56:23
Look at the guy.
► 02:56:24
That's the guy.
► 02:56:25
But if you watch the video, the guy fucking literally threw himself on the guy with the gun.
► 02:56:30
Completely heroic.
► 02:56:31
Show me his face again, dude.
► 02:56:32
That's a guy who loves brewskis.
► 02:56:34
Oh, yeah.
► 02:56:35
Barbecue.
► 02:56:36
Barbecue.
► 02:56:37
Brewskis.
► 02:56:38
He's probably not worried about his death.
► 02:56:41
Hey, Mark, I can't even see you.
► 02:56:42
He's right to that, yeah.
► 02:56:43
You know what I'm saying?
► 02:56:45
He's ready to go to Valhalla.
► 02:56:46
He's ready to go.
► 02:56:46
He's a Viking.
► 02:56:47
That's an American Viking, dude.
► 02:56:49
You get fat as shit, you drink beers, you go, fuck it.
► 02:56:52
I've been waiting for somebody to kill Valhalla, brother.
► 02:56:54
He's a hero, goddammit.
► 02:56:57
Didn't Kash Patel say that about somebody seeing Valhalla?
► 02:57:00
About Charlie Kirk.
► 02:57:00
Yeah.
► 02:57:01
Corniest fucking shit ever.
► 02:57:02
Ooh, that's a rough one.
► 02:57:04
Your watch is over.
► 02:57:05
We'll see you in Valhalla.
► 02:57:06
It's a rough one.
► 02:57:06
Shut up.
► 02:57:07
I was watching a video on what a 30-odd six-round actually would do to a neck.
► 02:57:13
Oh, no.
► 02:57:14
There we go.
► 02:57:14
Yeah.
► 02:57:15
They showed, like, what the actual rifle round would do to a person's neck versus, like, what you saw from Charlie Kirk.
► 02:57:22
There's a lot of people that don't think it was really that guy on the roof that shot him.
► 02:57:25
That was something else.
► 02:57:26
Some people think it was a microphone.
► 02:57:28
But the problem with the microphone, yeah, the microphone shot him in the neck.
► 02:57:31
Like, there was some sort of an implemented destruction device.
► 02:57:35
The problem I have with that is you don't see any fire coming off of the microphone.
► 02:57:38
Right.
► 02:57:38
Like, if a microphone is going to kill you, it's going to shoot you somehow or another, it's got to be an explosive charge, and then you'll see a flash, and then something will project.
► 02:57:47
From that into your neck.
► 02:57:48
Did you say a microphone?
► 02:57:49
I think someone shot him.
► 02:57:50
Yeah, somebody shot him, right?
► 02:57:51
Someone shot him.
► 02:57:52
If a rifle shoots your neck, wouldn't it go far away?
► 02:57:54
You would imagine it would.
► 02:57:56
And in these videos that I saw, it shows a massive destruction.
► 02:57:59
So what they're using is ballistic gel.
► 02:58:01
And so they have like a fake neck and a fake head and like a spine.
► 02:58:04
They show ballistic gel what it looks like, and it just blows the neck completely apart.
► 02:58:10
It's just splatter, a giant opening wound.
► 02:58:14
Because this tissue is very soft.
► 02:58:16
I mean, this is not durable tissue.
► 02:58:18
And he got shot, and it was not even an exit hole.
► 02:58:20
Did they catch the guy?
► 02:58:22
Supposedly.
► 02:58:22
You didn't know that?
► 02:58:23
You didn't know that?
► 02:58:24
Well, you were in Guatemala.
► 02:58:25
I'm not just Pichu.
► 02:58:25
I was in Guatemala.
► 02:58:27
I remember at a bar in Guatemala, someone was like, Who's Charlie Kirk?
► 02:58:29
I'm like, I think he makes fun of college kids.
► 02:58:33
You're right about that.
► 02:58:34
That's not wrong.
► 02:58:35
And then I was like, Why?
► 02:58:37
Like, I think he got killed.
► 02:58:38
It was like, oh.
► 02:58:39
Bro, there's many, layers to that story.
► 02:58:42
Past the weed.
► 02:58:43
And his wife.
► 02:58:45
We're in an outdoor bar.
► 02:58:46
Like, yeah, anyway, bro.
► 02:58:48
Pass that over.
► 02:58:49
Pass the weed.
► 02:58:51
It's so good.
► 02:58:51
There's many levels to that story.
► 02:58:53
I don't mean to come down on you, but that's the weed.
► 02:58:56
Oh, man.
► 02:58:56
I don't even know that guy.
► 02:58:57
Past the weed.
► 02:58:58
Dude, I was looking for weed, and it's like he's smoking.
► 02:59:00
I'm like, I'm looking for that weed.
► 02:59:02
In Guatemala?
► 02:59:03
Yeah, at a bar.
► 02:59:03
What is the legality of weed in Guatemala?
► 02:59:06
Same as, like, five years ago here.
► 02:59:08
Like, Do it quite a bit.
► 02:59:10
Oh, you can get arrested, though.
► 02:59:12
And you wind up in a Guatemalan jail.
► 02:59:14
Imagine if we had to bail you out like fucking the 18th.
► 02:59:17
I don't know.
► 02:59:17
We wouldn't even know.
► 02:59:18
We would never bail you out.
► 02:59:19
I would.
► 02:59:20
I'd go there.
► 02:59:21
Let him sit there for a little.
► 02:59:22
Nah.
► 02:59:23
You would fly to Guatemala?
► 02:59:24
100%.
► 02:59:25
100%.
► 02:59:26
Yeah, if I was in jail in Guatemala, 100% we'd get him out.
► 02:59:28
Nah, that'd be fun, though, to let him sit for a few days.
► 02:59:31
Yeah.
► 02:59:31
He needs to learn his lessons.
► 02:59:32
I can't stop going to Guatemala.
► 02:59:33
Of course, I'm going to get weed.
► 02:59:35
I'm the guy who gets weed.
► 02:59:36
The lesson is keep getting weed, man.
► 02:59:38
We'd have to go get him.
► 02:59:39
I'd make you guys come with me.
► 02:59:40
We'd have to film it.
► 02:59:42
Yeah, protect our parts from a fucking national park in Guatemala.
► 02:59:46
Whoever filmed your fucking, that whole run that you did, that guy, he'll put some witty quotes.
► 02:59:51
Get him in there.
► 02:59:53
Get Ari in there.
► 02:59:54
Look at this.
► 02:59:54
State of emergency.
► 02:59:56
Gang prisons.
► 02:59:57
Prison rods and the gangs.
► 02:59:58
You'd be in that gang getting fucked.
► 03:00:00
Good to get you back in the camps.
► 03:00:02
I can't have you in there, Ari.
► 03:00:03
Getting fucked by these Guatemalan guys.
► 03:00:04
Dude, those guys who gave me weed who told me about Charlie Kirk, they were like, what do you think about Trump?
► 03:00:08
I'm like, I don't really know.
► 03:00:10
And then I figured out how to.
► 03:00:11
Turn it away from that conversation.
► 03:00:12
I go, How's your guy?
► 03:00:13
And they go, Our guy sucks.
► 03:00:16
He's so crooked.
► 03:00:17
Maduro?
► 03:00:17
No, it was somebody in Guatemala.
► 03:00:19
Oh, sorry.
► 03:00:20
Wrong country.
► 03:00:20
You just turn it on their guy.
► 03:00:22
They love talking about it.
► 03:00:23
Yeah, it's not Maduro.
► 03:00:24
It's far away.
► 03:00:25
Yeah, it's not Maduro.
► 03:00:26
It's like, He's crooked.
► 03:00:27
He takes money from corporations.
► 03:00:29
I'm like, Yeah, we do that.
► 03:00:30
Boo.
► 03:00:31
Yeah.
► 03:00:31
Better than El Salvador.
► 03:00:32
That place is even crazier.
► 03:00:34
No, what they did is they stopped all the crimes.
► 03:00:37
Didn't they stop a ton of gangs?
► 03:00:39
They threw them all into giant prisons and stopped all the crimes.
► 03:00:43
They drove them out, killed the rest.
► 03:00:45
Can we do that?
► 03:00:46
Their crime dropped off of the fucking story here, Mark.
► 03:00:49
Yeah, I guess so.
► 03:00:50
No, that guy is a hero to everyone there.
► 03:00:52
We should do that.
► 03:00:52
They all love him.
► 03:00:53
Look at this.
► 03:00:54
Agreed.
► 03:00:56
Everyone who was there loves him.
► 03:00:57
Everyone who came in later was like, oh, so so.
► 03:00:59
That's El Salvador's prison.
► 03:01:00
We should do that to our civilians.
► 03:01:01
Look at the guy in the back.
► 03:01:03
He's kind of fat.
► 03:01:04
Doesn't seem well.
► 03:01:05
I bet there's a few guys in there that don't belong.
► 03:01:08
Yeah, no.
► 03:01:09
There's a story here that anyone with a tattoo could get arrested.
► 03:01:12
And they're like, no, no.
► 03:01:13
It's anyone with a tattoo of a cop you've killed with his badge number that can get arrested.
► 03:01:17
They captured all the Nate Diazs.
► 03:01:19
All Nate.
► 03:01:19
Yeah, they do look like Nate.
► 03:01:22
It's just Nate.
► 03:01:23
They're all going to stand up and go, what's up?
► 03:01:25
We got their country back.
► 03:01:26
Damn, the tattoo guys are cleaning up out there.
► 03:01:29
Wait, wait.
► 03:01:29
Let's see if we can see the badge tattoos.
► 03:01:31
When you tattoo your face up like that, you are not fucking around.
► 03:01:35
So a lot of the face tattoos are loved ones they've raped.
► 03:01:38
No.
► 03:01:40
No, I didn't just make it up.
► 03:01:41
What?
► 03:01:41
You get extra points for raping a mom, a sister, an aunt.
► 03:01:44
Your own mom?
► 03:01:45
Yeah, buddy.
► 03:01:46
Wow.
► 03:01:47
This can't.
► 03:01:48
It wasn't a great situation.
► 03:01:50
Where are you coming up with this?
► 03:01:51
Talking to El Salvadorans.
► 03:01:53
Oh my God.
► 03:01:53
In El Salvador.
► 03:01:54
I think your Spanish was a little broken.
► 03:01:56
They had a soccer team.
► 03:01:57
That was non existent.
► 03:01:58
They had a soccer team.
► 03:01:59
Did you have Spanish at all?
► 03:02:00
Oh, yeah.
► 03:02:01
They had a soccer game.
► 03:02:02
Say something.
► 03:02:03
Order pizza.
► 03:02:05
Yo quiero una pizza.
► 03:02:07
Porfa.
► 03:02:08
Oh, come on.
► 03:02:09
That was Yo quiero Taco Bell with pizza.
► 03:02:11
They had a soccer game they played in Port Town where they cut babies out of a woman and play soccer with it.
► 03:02:17
Oh, my God.
► 03:02:18
Hey, make soccer interesting.
► 03:02:20
Their gangs are trained by the U.S., but pretty strong.
► 03:02:25
So they got rid of them.
► 03:02:26
But what they did was nuts, though.
► 03:02:28
They just made these giant super prisons and just put everybody in there, and the crime dropped off a cliff.
► 03:02:34
Damn.
► 03:02:35
I went to Independence Day parade there.
► 03:02:37
It was wild how much everyone is like, What are you doing here?
► 03:02:40
This is wild.
► 03:02:41
Our guy is the best.
► 03:02:43
It's the only country where they're like, We love our guy.
► 03:02:45
It was wild.
► 03:02:45
Everyone else, we hate our guy.
► 03:02:47
They love their guy.
► 03:02:47
They wouldn't even let everyone in.
► 03:02:49
You got a Nicaragua.
► 03:02:51
Yeah.
► 03:02:51
They wouldn't let Ari into Nicaragua.
► 03:02:53
Fake news.
► 03:02:54
Fake news.
► 03:02:54
They love that guy.
► 03:02:56
They love that guy.
► 03:02:57
It was the first time they could go out in public and like, and like, and like, what's his name?
► 03:03:02
What's the name of the El Sal?
► 03:03:03
He's half Arab.
► 03:03:05
They don't care.
► 03:03:06
What kind of Arab?
► 03:03:06
I don't know.
► 03:03:08
The good kind.
► 03:03:10
Is there?
► 03:03:10
Not Palestinian.
► 03:03:11
No, no, no.
► 03:03:12
I just mean.
► 03:03:14
Wow.
► 03:03:14
Is it Jewish?
► 03:03:15
I bet.
► 03:03:15
No, no.
► 03:03:16
It's not supported.
► 03:03:17
The claim that specific face tattoos in El Salvador mark someone who has raped a family member is not supported by credible evidence.
► 03:03:24
By the way, what credible evidence do you get?
► 03:03:26
Talk to so many people there, so disagree with this.
► 03:03:31
It's hard to know because how many people are documenting this stuff in peer reviewed papers?
► 03:03:37
You know what I mean?
► 03:03:37
What is perplexity drawing from?
► 03:03:40
Yeah.
► 03:03:40
People on the streets are like, this is what happens.
► 03:03:42
Yeah.
► 03:03:43
Well, I'm sure a lot of it did happen.
► 03:03:45
I'm sure a lot of it happened.
► 03:03:47
There was a guy that used to be the fucking doorman at the improv, and he showed me this cartel video of this guy getting eaten by a pit bull.
► 03:03:54
And it still haunts my dreams.
► 03:03:56
The guy was tied up, arms and legs, and the pit bull was eating his dick.
► 03:04:00
The pit bull was just completely locked on this guy's cross, and this guy was screaming.
► 03:04:06
Michael Dick.
► 03:04:07
And he goes, hey, man, check this out.
► 03:04:09
My friend sent me this from the cartel.
► 03:04:10
And I'm like, why are you showing me this thing?
► 03:04:12
I have to go on stage in 20 minutes.
► 03:04:15
Oh, damn.
► 03:04:17
I was trying to do the sound.
► 03:04:19
I couldn't do it.
► 03:04:20
In my head, I was thinking about doing it.
► 03:04:22
I couldn't think of it.
► 03:04:23
What?
► 03:04:24
That was pretty good.
► 03:04:25
I was like, damn.
► 03:04:26
That was damn.
► 03:04:27
Just Michael Winslow.
► 03:04:30
Just that this giant headed pit bull was locked on this guy's dick and he was screaming, and I've never forgot it.
► 03:04:34
Well, yeah, the internet hit us at different ages like that because I got hit with those when I was young.
► 03:04:40
And I was like, that's enough.
► 03:04:42
Yeah, they're not fun.
► 03:04:43
But if I was an adult and somebody showed me something horrific like that, that does stick with you.
► 03:04:47
Oh, me and Segura, we have a text chain.
► 03:04:49
Me and Segura, it's the war shit that either one of us find on the internet.
Michael Winslow Sound Effects
00:04:23
► 03:04:53
They don't really toss those around anymore.
► 03:04:55
The cartoon videos.
► 03:04:56
Yeah, this was someone who was a cop sent it to this guy, and then this guy showed me.
► 03:05:03
God, the shit cops must see.
► 03:05:05
Oh, right.
► 03:05:06
Tough.
► 03:05:06
They need the Ibogaine.
► 03:05:08
They got a high suicide rate.
► 03:05:09
Oh, very high.
► 03:05:10
Very high.
► 03:05:11
All first responders, they all have much higher suicide rates than the general population.
► 03:05:15
That's not normal to see that much damage.
► 03:05:18
Imagine you're a guy who just shows up at car accidents every day.
► 03:05:21
Every day you see one, you're like, I got to go to therapy.
► 03:05:23
Right.
► 03:05:23
You see a family.
► 03:05:24
Three a week.
► 03:05:25
Legs and splatter and dead babies and fucking moms.
► 03:05:29
Have somebody go, am I going to be okay?
► 03:05:30
And you're like, you look at his arm and leg over there and you're like, ah.
► 03:05:34
Yeah.
► 03:05:34
And people hate you on top of that.
► 03:05:36
That's true.
► 03:05:37
That sucks.
► 03:05:37
You can't win.
► 03:05:38
Especially cops.
► 03:05:40
But first responders, people don't even hate you.
► 03:05:42
Nobody really hates ambulance drivers.
► 03:05:43
No.
► 03:05:43
No, or firemen.
► 03:05:45
Or firemen, yeah.
► 03:05:47
Well.
► 03:05:47
That's crooked.
► 03:05:48
What?
► 03:05:49
They're not.
► 03:05:50
What?
► 03:05:50
Boys, we've got to wrap this up.
► 03:05:54
I don't think we did.
► 03:05:55
We did.
► 03:05:55
We just started.
► 03:05:57
We just got going.
► 03:05:59
JMo's drunk.
► 03:06:00
You're not going anywhere, brother.
► 03:06:01
You're going to bong another beer.
► 03:06:02
I got to do a thing soon.
► 03:06:03
What do you think?
► 03:06:04
What the fuck is that?
► 03:06:05
You got to do a thing in your construction.
► 03:06:07
Tonight?
► 03:06:08
Yeah, I got to go to a thing.
► 03:06:09
Oh, you got to reek a booze.
► 03:06:10
I'm going to be drunk for this.
► 03:06:11
You can bong one more and then that's it, show.
► 03:06:13
Allegedly.
► 03:06:13
What do you got?
► 03:06:14
A class play?
► 03:06:15
One thing.
► 03:06:16
I got to go to a thing.
► 03:06:17
Show and tell?
► 03:06:18
You can bong a beer.
► 03:06:19
PTA?
► 03:06:19
I can't.
► 03:06:20
I can't.
► 03:06:20
You can bong a beer before it does.
► 03:06:23
No.
► 03:06:23
I got to be out of here in a little bit.
► 03:06:25
A talent show?
► 03:06:26
I got to go to the bathroom one more time, but we're not ending here.
► 03:06:28
One shooter.
► 03:06:28
How many times have you gone to the bathroom?
► 03:06:30
30 on three.
► 03:06:31
I've gone once.
► 03:06:32
Yeah.
► 03:06:32
Fucking dirty, you drinking on that competition with you?
► 03:06:35
Yeah, you're sipping a fucking bullseye.
► 03:06:37
I haven't even seen you refill anything.
► 03:06:39
I make the noise every time.
► 03:06:41
Twice.
► 03:06:42
That's true.
► 03:06:42
Twice.
► 03:06:43
I remember the noise twice.
► 03:06:47
So nice to be back, boys.
► 03:06:48
It is.
► 03:06:49
It is good to be back.
► 03:06:49
This is so fun.
► 03:06:50
It is good to be back.
► 03:06:51
Speaking of the moment, this might be the best one.
► 03:06:53
We missed you, dude.
► 03:06:54
It was weird not knowing where you were.
► 03:06:56
I was very uncomfortable.
► 03:06:57
I didn't like it.
► 03:06:58
Sorry.
► 03:06:58
I was completely fine with it.
► 03:07:01
Dude, when I texted you when I was back, you're like, who is this?
► 03:07:04
I was like, Hey, it's the Jew.
► 03:07:06
I'd say very specific things like, who is this?
► 03:07:08
I'm like, you know, the fuck it is.
► 03:07:09
And you're like, yes, motherfucker.
► 03:07:10
Well, I still get a million.
► 03:07:12
I started getting text messages from an unknown number that like knew things about me.
► 03:07:16
I'm like, who the fuck is this?
► 03:07:17
Yes, you did that.
► 03:07:18
But I've been meaning to change my phone number for so long.
► 03:07:21
Like, every time a new one comes in, I'm like, oh, fuck this.
► 03:07:24
I got the same one since seven years ago.
► 03:07:26
Oh, here we go.
► 03:07:26
Here we go.
► 03:07:27
Let's go.
► 03:07:29
Oh, kids.
► 03:07:32
This is Moscow, whores.
► 03:07:35
No.
► 03:07:35
Oh, no.
► 03:07:36
This is Florida.
► 03:07:37
Open Coliseum.
► 03:07:38
Oakland.
► 03:07:39
Wow.
► 03:07:40
Oakland was light.
► 03:07:41
This is where the Raiders played.
► 03:07:45
Pity.
► 03:07:46
Oh, yeah.
► 03:07:47
I will never get tired of this song.
► 03:07:49
Wow.
► 03:07:50
I'll never get tired of this song.
► 03:07:54
We can't go out on this because they can't hear it.
► 03:07:55
We got a bong one.
► 03:07:59
Wait, they actually are not allowed to hear this?
► 03:08:01
I don't know.
► 03:08:02
Right?
► 03:08:02
Sometimes they say that.
► 03:08:02
We'll see what happens.
► 03:08:04
But yeah, that's a hell of a tune.
► 03:08:06
Let's get JMo one.
► 03:08:07
I went to see them recently and checked the whole game.
► 03:08:09
Really?
► 03:08:10
Yeah, but it's like.
► 03:08:11
We give JMo one.
► 03:08:12
I will.
► 03:08:13
So many people are dead.
► 03:08:14
Right.
► 03:08:14
I thought it was a band.
► 03:08:15
You got to see it when they're all there.
► 03:08:17
It's like.
► 03:08:17
Yeah.
► 03:08:18
It's like.
► 03:08:19
It's a tribute band a little bit.
► 03:08:21
They did great.
► 03:08:22
It was still the great songs.
► 03:08:24
But Party is like, ah, I wish the real guys were alive.
► 03:08:27
It's like if you want to see a Hendrix tribute band, you just get sad.
► 03:08:31
Tribute band.
► 03:08:31
Right.
► 03:08:32
Yeah.
► 03:08:32
You just get sad.
► 03:08:33
Like I missed Hendrix.
► 03:08:34
I don't want to miss Step again.
► 03:08:36
Well, you know what's weird?
► 03:08:37
It's like Journey.
► 03:08:38
They have like that guy, Steve.
► 03:08:40
What is his name?
► 03:08:41
The lead singer of Journey?
► 03:08:42
Steve.
► 03:08:43
What's Steve Perry.
► 03:08:43
Steve Perry.
► 03:08:44
He's still alive.
► 03:08:45
Yeah.
► 03:08:45
And he doesn't sing for Journey anymore.
► 03:08:47
There's another guy who sings for Journey.
► 03:08:48
He's like a Filipino drummer.
► 03:08:49
You can replace drummer.
► 03:08:50
You can place guitars.
► 03:08:51
You cannot replace lead singer.
► 03:08:53
Right.
► 03:08:53
No way.
► 03:08:53
Exactly.
► 03:08:54
You need a front man.
► 03:08:56
Jameson?
► 03:08:56
Although I saw Foreigner.
► 03:08:58
Really?
► 03:08:59
With the new guy.
► 03:09:00
How was it?
► 03:09:00
Were they cooking?
► 03:09:01
I was so excited.
► 03:09:02
Yeah?
► 03:09:03
See Jukebox Hero Live?
► 03:09:04
I saw that.
► 03:09:05
Jukebox Hero.
► 03:09:06
Foreigner Sticks and Def Leppard.
► 03:09:09
I was there for Foreigner.
► 03:09:11
And then I worked in a factory the next day at 4 a.m.
► 03:09:13
Damn.
► 03:09:14
That shit sucked.
Steve Perry Still Alive
00:08:26
► 03:09:16
What kind of factory?
► 03:09:17
What are you making?
► 03:09:18
Ice cream.
► 03:09:18
No way.
► 03:09:19
I shoveled glue into a machine for 12 hours the next day.
► 03:09:22
Glue?
► 03:09:23
Glue's in your face.
► 03:09:25
Did you just throw up?
► 03:09:26
Yeah, we were making the packaging.
► 03:09:28
Glue?
► 03:09:29
We made the packaging.
► 03:09:29
That was crazy.
► 03:09:31
Did you get free ice cream?
► 03:09:32
That's crazy.
► 03:09:34
You could stick your hand in the ice cream.
► 03:09:36
We don't make ice cream.
► 03:09:37
We make the packaging.
► 03:09:40
Glue into a machine sounds like fucking a sex doll.
► 03:09:42
It was, yeah, a lot of glue.
► 03:09:45
Ari, when do you decide when you're going to do these walkabouts?
► 03:09:48
Like, how far out?
► 03:09:50
Well, in advance.
► 03:09:52
Probably like a year.
► 03:09:53
So, like, how much time between now and the next walkabout?
► 03:09:55
No plans for the next one.
► 03:09:56
You've done Asia, you've done South America.
► 03:09:58
Go to Ghana.
► 03:10:13
Go to fucking Gaza.
► 03:10:15
I don't know where it'd be next.
► 03:10:17
I dare you.
► 03:10:17
Gaza's got no good coffee shops.
► 03:10:19
Not anymore.
► 03:10:21
They're roasted.
► 03:10:21
I bet they did.
► 03:10:22
They definitely did.
► 03:10:24
Jesus Christ.
► 03:10:24
Off the cuff.
► 03:10:27
Off the cuff.
► 03:10:28
You son of a bitch.
► 03:10:31
Yeah, I don't know where else.
► 03:10:32
Yeah, where else?
► 03:10:32
Good job.
► 03:10:32
Yeah, where?
► 03:10:33
You've done everything.
► 03:10:33
I want to go back to Asia.
► 03:10:34
There's more of Asia.
► 03:10:35
She goes a lot to Asia.
► 03:10:35
Philippines, man.
► 03:10:36
This is all I know.
► 03:10:37
I really want to go to the Philippines.
► 03:10:38
Bombshell sex harassment suit against.
► 03:10:40
Who's that guy?
► 03:10:41
Lorna Hodgkin.
► 03:10:42
This video has nothing to do with it.
► 03:10:43
JP Morgan branded complete fabrication as John Doe Unmasked.
► 03:10:48
What is this you're showing us?
► 03:10:48
That's the story we were talking about earlier today.
► 03:10:50
Oh, with the lady?
► 03:10:51
That's the guy who made up the story?
► 03:10:52
Yeah.
► 03:10:54
That's the guy.
► 03:10:54
That's the guy.
► 03:10:56
So this is the guy who worked.
► 03:10:57
I knew it was fabricated.
► 03:10:58
Bregal, Sukamount, Toronto.
► 03:10:59
So everything is fabricated.
► 03:11:01
Everything in the world is fabricated.
► 03:11:04
Let me see the guy.
► 03:11:05
So, what is this?
► 03:11:06
Go down and show the girl.
► 03:11:08
Indian Jared Fogel.
► 03:11:10
Oh, hello.
► 03:11:11
Think of her being like, not that wood.
► 03:11:14
But imagine her.
► 03:11:15
She's walking around and everybody thinks that she said those horrible things and talked about her tits like they're cannons.
► 03:11:19
Cannons.
► 03:11:20
I'm so sorry.
► 03:11:21
You're feeling embarrassed about your bush.
► 03:11:23
I'm not embarrassed.
► 03:11:24
So, this guy just made it all up?
► 03:11:26
Yeah, look at him.
► 03:11:26
Is that the alleged?
► 03:11:27
Come on, I got a corny man.
► 03:11:29
The virgin.
► 03:11:29
He's got a fucking Leno nose.
► 03:11:30
Hmm.
► 03:11:31
Yeah, he does.
► 03:11:33
Have you seen this?
► 03:11:34
Have you heard about this?
► 03:11:35
Now deleted court papers.
► 03:11:36
Ah, the cannons.
► 03:11:38
Ah, he fell down a hill.
► 03:11:39
Whoa, he even turned up unannounced at Rana's apartment and forced him to have sex.
► 03:11:44
Oh, that was the lie.
► 03:11:46
That was a lie.
► 03:11:48
Well, good for her.
► 03:11:49
She's been exonerated.
► 03:11:50
This lady got to force you to have sex.
► 03:11:52
She categorically denies the allegation.
► 03:11:55
She never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never been to the location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place.
► 03:12:04
It's not sexual assault if a girl.
► 03:12:05
No.
► 03:12:06
Yeah, what if he forced you?
► 03:12:07
Like, what are we talking about?
► 03:12:08
Go, come on.
► 03:12:09
Just say come on 20 times in a row.
► 03:12:11
Sexually assault a guy.
► 03:12:12
I lost my Virginia to a hooker when I was 16.
► 03:12:15
She was probably 50.
► 03:12:16
It was the best night of my life.
► 03:12:18
I'm a survivor.
► 03:12:18
Oh, man.
► 03:12:19
Look at that.
► 03:12:20
They're posting pretty pictures.
► 03:12:22
What about Winona Ryder?
► 03:12:23
You heard about her on Jamiroquai?
► 03:12:25
What?
► 03:12:25
No, Jamiroquai and her used to fuck, and he said I couldn't keep up with her.
► 03:12:29
She wanted to bang so much.
► 03:12:30
Wow.
► 03:12:31
It was, like, annoying.
► 03:12:32
Jamiroquai's making a comeback.
► 03:12:34
I believe he should have never.
► 03:12:35
He should have never.
► 03:12:36
Yeah.
► 03:12:36
I know.
► 03:12:37
It's not a good song.
► 03:12:37
It's still a huge in general.
► 03:12:38
Think about it.
► 03:12:39
He said she had huge tits and it was a problem.
► 03:12:41
They were bigger than they looked.
► 03:12:42
Pull it up, J Mo.
► 03:12:43
I'd try to do it.
► 03:12:44
You've got to train for that.
► 03:12:44
You've got to work out.
► 03:12:45
You've got to go.
► 03:12:46
You've got to be prepared for that level of the game.
► 03:12:48
Yeah.
► 03:12:49
He wasn't ready.
► 03:12:50
The lights were too bright.
► 03:12:51
How crazy is that?
► 03:12:53
With Nona Ryder, like, imagine kicking her out of bed.
► 03:12:55
Like, you want to fuck too much.
► 03:12:56
And this is like 30 years ago.
► 03:12:58
You're sad about it.
► 03:12:58
You're going to Jamura Kwai?
► 03:13:01
Jamie, delete that.
► 03:13:02
Jamie.
► 03:13:03
Nope.
► 03:13:03
No, keep it in.
► 03:13:04
Keep it in.
► 03:13:05
It was actually good, but you're just, it's your legibility is the issue.
► 03:13:08
It's a really good joke.
► 03:13:12
If I said it, we'd all be going.
► 03:13:15
That's weird.
► 03:13:15
Quiet is such a weird name.
► 03:13:17
What was his big song?
► 03:13:18
He had that one really good song.
► 03:13:19
Virtual Insanity.
► 03:13:21
It big is.
► 03:13:22
Sick ass music video where he was dancing.
► 03:13:24
Oh, wow.
► 03:13:24
He danced a really cool, yeah.
► 03:13:26
No, Jamar Kart.
► 03:13:26
Yeah, that one.
► 03:13:27
What was the song?
► 03:13:28
Oh, Huge Mommy Milkers is what he said about her tits.
► 03:13:30
There was a bunch of memes going around.
► 03:13:32
No thanks.
► 03:13:33
Are we sure that this is true, though?
► 03:13:34
Did he really say this?
► 03:13:35
There it is.
► 03:13:37
What's a Mommy Milker?
► 03:13:38
The memes about the shocking viral story.
► 03:13:40
Look how hot she was.
► 03:13:41
She was very attractive.
► 03:13:42
Big dropings.
► 03:13:43
She was hot and she liked to shoplift.
► 03:13:44
She's your kind of girl, Norm.
► 03:13:45
Oh, yeah.
► 03:13:46
Big fan.
► 03:13:47
We shoplift together.
► 03:13:48
Oh, yeah.
► 03:13:49
I'll show her some strange things.
► 03:13:50
Wow.
► 03:13:51
Her boobs are too big and she wanted to have sex all the time.
► 03:13:54
Why do they have to cross out sex?
► 03:13:56
What happened to America?
► 03:13:57
It's an algorithm thing.
► 03:13:58
It's just like things don't get surprised.
► 03:14:00
I know.
► 03:14:01
But it's too big.
► 03:14:02
Well, it's everything.
► 03:14:03
What does that mean?
► 03:14:04
You know, on TikTok, you can't use a juice box emoji.
► 03:14:08
That's right.
► 03:14:08
There's people using it for the Jews.
► 03:14:10
Yes.
► 03:14:11
But we love juice boxes.
► 03:14:12
Yeah, but they don't want to.
► 03:14:14
A free juice box?
► 03:14:14
They don't want you to crap on it.
► 03:14:16
A free juice box, buddy.
► 03:14:17
Jews are all about that.
► 03:14:18
But now the Jews own TikTok.
► 03:14:20
That's right.
► 03:14:21
Really?
► 03:14:22
I think.
► 03:14:22
Did it go through?
► 03:14:23
Yeah.
► 03:14:23
What's that guy doing?
► 03:14:24
But they took it from China and sold it to.
► 03:14:26
They purchased it at a reasonable rate.
► 03:14:28
Ellison?
► 03:14:29
Yeah.
► 03:14:30
Ellison's Jewish?
► 03:14:32
Yeah, see that face.
► 03:14:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 03:14:33
Larry also.
► 03:14:34
You see the mug.
► 03:14:35
It looks like his mantle.
► 03:14:37
That's true.
► 03:14:38
Yeah, I think, well, it's like they own TikTok now, and I think they're trying to own.
► 03:14:44
The weather.
► 03:14:45
ABC.
► 03:14:46
The weather.
► 03:14:48
Was that thing true about Iran?
► 03:14:50
That, like, they shot down some weather station, and then all of a sudden it started raining like crazy in Iran?
► 03:14:55
Oh.
► 03:14:55
But then I read that that's horseshit.
► 03:14:57
And that they experienced the same amount of rain every year.
► 03:15:00
So that's the thing.
► 03:15:01
You can't buy into all those.
► 03:15:03
Those are conspiracies created by.
► 03:15:05
Aha.
► 03:15:06
You guys are hilarious.
► 03:15:06
They go, you guys are dumb as shit.
► 03:15:08
You'll believe we created the weather.
► 03:15:10
Well, that's true.
► 03:15:10
And then when you say that, control it.
► 03:15:12
Control it, of course.
► 03:15:13
But then you go, but you definitely bombed kids.
► 03:15:17
And that's not a conspiracy.
► 03:15:19
Right.
► 03:15:20
But also, they bombed everybody.
► 03:15:21
The U.S. has bombed way more children.
► 03:15:25
It was stolen right now.
► 03:15:26
What do you mean?
► 03:15:27
So the United States has killed way more children than what you're talking about.
► 03:15:31
Oh, but that's true.
► 03:15:32
Can we do this the way you guys did, where it was.
► 03:15:35
Look at this story.
► 03:15:36
Yeah, you guys.
► 03:15:37
I don't know.
► 03:15:37
Well, you're.
► 03:15:39
Going against the U.S. Shane, look at this story.
► 03:15:41
As fighting escalated and air corridors were restricted, social media posts alleged that cloud seeding aircraft used by the U.S. and its allies have been grounded, causing stolen rains to return.
► 03:15:51
So we've been stealing rains from Iran for a long time?
► 03:15:54
Wow, look at that.
► 03:15:56
Look how dope that building is.
► 03:15:57
Look at that building.
► 03:15:58
Is that an Iranian building?
► 03:16:00
Looks like it.
► 03:16:00
That building is dope as fuck.
► 03:16:02
That ain't believable.
► 03:16:03
We should make a.
► 03:16:03
This ain't tax.
► 03:16:05
When I buy a ranch, we should make that our podcast studio.
► 03:16:10
I don't know.
► 03:16:11
Don't make it look just like that.
► 03:16:13
I'm not sure you want that kind of thing.
► 03:16:14
Maybe AI is going to detect it.
► 03:16:15
See what it says on the outside.
► 03:16:18
Maybe it says something cool.
► 03:16:20
Fuck yeah.
► 03:16:21
In Arabic?
► 03:16:22
It says America.
► 03:16:24
America.
► 03:16:24
Fuck yeah.
► 03:16:25
In Arabic.
► 03:16:26
The Arabic writing is dope as fuck, though.
► 03:16:28
It looks cool.
► 03:16:29
It looks pretty slick.
► 03:16:30
They invented writing?
► 03:16:31
Where'd you hear that?
► 03:16:31
Well, numbers, I should say.
► 03:16:33
I thought that was great.
► 03:16:34
They came up with numbers.
► 03:16:35
What did Greek do?
► 03:16:35
I'll give them that.
► 03:16:36
But look, thanks, guys.
► 03:16:37
What a great episode we had.
► 03:16:38
We had a good time.
► 03:16:39
Hey, should we get dinner?
► 03:16:41
I'm starving.
► 03:16:42
Fun times, boys.
► 03:16:44
Oh, jeez.
► 03:16:45
Next one.
► 03:16:46
Next one.
► 03:16:46
Two months.
► 03:16:47
Let's do two months.
► 03:16:48
Let's keep them regular.
► 03:16:50
Two months.
► 03:16:50
Come on.
► 03:16:51
We can do it.
► 03:16:52
I can do two months.
► 03:16:52
Come on.
► 03:16:53
We're in May right now.
► 03:16:54
Is it May yet?
► 03:16:55
It's close.
► 03:16:56
Tomorrow's first.
► 03:16:57
Tomorrow's the day?
► 03:16:58
Yeah.
► 03:16:58
Today, when it comes out, it's May 1st.
► 03:17:00
These guys go.
► 03:17:00
A lot of editing for JMO.
► 03:17:02
Well, the end.
► 03:17:03
Just the end part.
► 03:17:04
Speaking of the end, this is the end.
► 03:17:06
This is the end.
► 03:17:07
Available at arishafir.com right now, starring Shane Gillis and Mark Norman.
► 03:17:09
Available at arishafir.com.
► 03:17:12
There it is.
► 03:17:13
The end.
► 03:17:13
Look at all those people.
► 03:17:14
Look how terrible Bubba Son of a bitch.
► 03:17:17
You belong in that period of time.
► 03:17:19
I wish.
► 03:17:20
I got a Netflix special out.
► 03:17:21
Check it out.
► 03:17:22
Let's bump it back up and choose the stories.
► 03:17:25
We might be drunk.
► 03:17:25
Let's fuck it.
► 03:17:26
Let's go.
► 03:17:27
Jews killed Jesus.
► 03:17:29
Tires, new season.
► 03:17:30
When's the new season coming out?
► 03:17:31
I don't know if I'm allowed to say.
► 03:17:33
Should be around August.
► 03:17:34
Okay.
► 03:17:35
Yeah.
► 03:17:35
Bill.
► 03:17:35
Yeah.
► 03:17:37
Love you guys.
► 03:17:38
Love you guys.
► 03:17:39
Shout out to everybody out there listening.
► 03:17:41
The parks are saved.
► 03:17:42
Jihad.