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April 30, 2026 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:35:21
Joe Rogan Experience #2492 - Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir and Joe Rogan dissect geopolitical failures from the Afghanistan withdrawal to Gaza's destruction, linking corporate malfeasance in the opioid crisis to historical military budgets. They debate psychedelic legalization hurdles, critique UFC weight-cutting ethics, and explore ancient mysteries like Machu Picchu's stones alongside urban green space benefits. Shaffir details his independent production of "The End," contrasting modern corporate restrictions with past comedy network cancellations, ultimately advocating for craft over viral metrics while reflecting on the mental health impacts of nature versus digital noise. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, WAV2VEC2_ASR_BASE_960H, sat-12l-sm, script v26.04.01, and large-v3-turbo
Participants
Main
a
ari shaffir
55:41
j
joe rogan
01:11:23
Appearances
j
jamie vernon
02:06
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Speaker Time Text
Glory Holes and Podcasts 00:03:52
unidentified
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
joe rogan
You know what you are on my phone?
ari shaffir
What?
joe rogan
Ari the Wanderer.
ari shaffir
That's a new phone number.
unidentified
That's not bad.
joe rogan
That's a new number.
Because that's what you are.
I was telling you last night that I thought it was in Mexico City, but we had a report that you were at an Oasis concert in Mexico City, and you said no, it was in Rio.
ari shaffir
Sao Paulo.
joe rogan
Oh, Sao Paulo?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay, so it was in Brazil.
So no one knew where you were.
You were gone for how many months?
Six?
ari shaffir
Seven.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
joe rogan
How many times have you done that now?
ari shaffir
I guess three.
Although when I went to Ecuador, I was very much in touch with everybody.
So it was like.
joe rogan
That was a halfway.
ari shaffir
That was a halfway.
joe rogan
But you were there.
You were kind of checked out.
ari shaffir
I was gone for six months, but I was in touch.
I still had numbers.
I was still like doing like podcasts and stuff.
unidentified
And.
joe rogan
Were you doing them remotely?
ari shaffir
Doing remotely.
Yeah.
I would do one with Big J and Soda.
We did a 21 Jump Street Breakdown podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were so bored during the pandemic.
We were like, let's find a show and just let's get together and watch Tony One Jump Street.
First, we chose Sex in the City and then found out gay fucking Ian already had a Sex in the City podcast.
joe rogan
Did he like Fight Dance?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Did he really?
ari shaffir
Dude, that guy blows dudes.
Obviously, he loves Sex in the City.
joe rogan
Well, I guess so.
ari shaffir
So we're like, we don't want to step on his toes.
Like, let's pick another.
joe rogan
He seems like he's straight sometimes.
ari shaffir
He does.
joe rogan
It's weird.
Like, is he only gay?
ari shaffir
No, no, he fucks.
He fucks better than we ever did for women.
joe rogan
Women?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay.
ari shaffir
He gets it.
joe rogan
So, and then, but then he went to guys?
ari shaffir
He's a new breed.
He's a new breed of just like.
joe rogan
When did he go to guys?
Is that a new thing?
ari shaffir
I think he battled with it for a while.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
So he was fucking girls but hating them?
God, I wish you were a guy.
Like, is that kind of a deal?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Yeah, I guess.
And then he went to glory holes and he was saying he wasn't gay.
I'm like, bro, that's one of the biggest signs of a gay.
joe rogan
So you just stick your dick in the hole or you suck the dick that comes out of the hole?
Like, was he the glory giver or the glory taker?
ari shaffir
You're asking me questions I don't know.
I always assumed in my head it was he was sucking dudes off, but I'm actually not sure.
joe rogan
Yeah, interesting, right?
ari shaffir
It's interesting.
joe rogan
Yeah, because if the dick comes through the hole, if you're like, you ever want to suck a dick, but I don't want to look a guy in the eyes, I just want to know what it's like, see if I'm good at it.
ari shaffir
Yeah, I don't want to be embarrassed in front of anybody.
They're going to recognize me later.
I just want to work on my technique.
joe rogan
Yeah, I just want to find out if I'm right.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
I need more research.
Not enough data points.
joe rogan
Yeah, because so you didn't even ask him which side of the glory hole he was on?
ari shaffir
I think I was so overwhelmed by this.
Heterosexual dude who was telling me he was the glory holes.
joe rogan
And so then he was heterosexual.
This is back in the day.
ari shaffir
We did a podcast, my old podcast, on the way down to like somewhere.
joe rogan
This is Skeptic Tank?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
And he was telling me that, but he was telling me he's not gay.
And I was like, How do I say that?
Wait.
And I was like, Buddy, I think you are gay.
He goes, Why?
I'm like, The glory hole stuff.
It's a big sign.
unidentified
And he goes, What?
ari shaffir
Do you think?
unidentified
I was like, Do you think?
I was like.
But you didn't even.
joe rogan
That's the crazy thing you didn't even ask whether he sucks or gets sucked.
ari shaffir
I was lost in it.
You're right.
As an interviewer, I didn't do my job that day.
Obviously, that's a major question.
It's a one in two chance.
joe rogan
Yeah, right?
How do you not know?
ari shaffir
How do I.
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like very important to know.
unidentified
It is.
ari shaffir
Because there is a percentage chance it might be a chick blowing you.
There's no percentage chance this chick blowing you is a vagina.
There's zero percent.
joe rogan
Zero percent chance.
It's 100% a guy or a guy pretending to be a chick.
ari shaffir
I bet there's a ton of those dudes who have.
Mushrooms, Acid, and Weed 00:15:15
ari shaffir
You know, who live in that world.
Like, I always thought it was a woman.
Like, shut up.
joe rogan
Yeah, right.
ari shaffir
Shut up.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Plausible deniability.
ari shaffir
Plausible deniability.
joe rogan
Yeah.
So then he just decided to just go straight gay?
ari shaffir
No, he's every, he does everything.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
ari shaffir
He's like Miami, bisexual.
Yeah.
unidentified
Okay.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
So we did this 21 Jump Street podcast.
And I would do it sometimes.
I'd get on.
They're like, Are you drinking a coconut with a palm tree behind you?
Like out of a coconut.
I was like, Oh, it's just a Tuesday, guys.
What's going on?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
I'd really milk it.
joe rogan
Cause you're in Ecuador.
ari shaffir
Cause I was in Ecuador.
I was having a good time.
joe rogan
What is that gay tea you drink?
ari shaffir
Mate.
Sherba.
joe rogan
So you just got into this.
It's literally a jar of hay.
ari shaffir
It really is.
joe rogan
You pour hot water, and there's so much hay in there.
ari shaffir
It's so much.
It tastes, you tried it.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
It tastes like just like hay.
Yeah, just hay.
joe rogan
I don't understand.
ari shaffir
It's like a ritual.
It's all the gauchos in Argentina and then spread to Chile and southern.
joe rogan
And so it's just a bunch of leaves that are in it.
ari shaffir
The yerba tree.
joe rogan
Yerba mate, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
But that drink is like different.
joe rogan
I've had that stuff.
ari shaffir
I think it's different.
unidentified
Really?
ari shaffir
Yeah, I think it's about as much as what Willie Nelson's drink is actually weed.
joe rogan
Oh, Willie Nelson's drink is weed.
ari shaffir
Really?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
I take it back then.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
I don't know what the legality of that is, and I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but Ron White brought a bunch of it to the mothership, and it's very legit.
Yeah.
It's all dose dependent.
I think one glass is like five milligrams.
Or one shot is like five milligrams.
But if you drink a glass of that shit, you're going to go into that weird dimension.
You know that weird dimension where you're like, I think this is Earth, but it doesn't seem like Earth anymore?
unidentified
Something's off.
joe rogan
It's like a facsimile of Earth.
ari shaffir
Try to look at people like you've seen what I'm seeing?
joe rogan
Yeah.
I remember one time I was doing Fear Factor and we were in San Francisco.
And this is the unregulated edibles days, you know, because this is before marijuana was legal where you could get a prescription.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Can I do your joke?
unidentified
Which one?
X.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
I'll do it.
You'll be embarrassed.
This is early days.
And by the way, it was just like there's banana bread going around now.
It's killing people.
It's great.
Not killing people, but like destroying people.
He goes, they came in these doses 1X, 2X, or 3X.
The problem is X didn't equal any number.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
So it was just some guy mixing up his bathtub full of fucking whatever, like weed infused cookie dough, and deciding what's X to him.
That's not a mathematical equation.
joe rogan
X had no number value.
ari shaffir
So it's one times this.
What's this, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Well, I had the joke too about the gummy bear.
The guy literally said that to me.
I go, How much should I take?
He goes, Just a leg.
ari shaffir
Those gummies are my ass.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I go, Just the leg.
I go, Why the fuck are you selling whole bears if I should only eat it?
Because it's only that big.
Like, no one's in to eat just the leg.
ari shaffir
It's a crazy dose.
Half a cookie is the right.
That's not a cookie, it's a dose.
joe rogan
So back in these days, we were doing Fear factor, and we were doing it.
It was, uh, we were doing it off of an aircraft carrier in the Bay Area.
And so we had to take the, you know, that one train, I forget what it is.
Is it the BART that goes under the water that goes under the bay between Oakland and San Francisco?
ari shaffir
The BART, yeah.
joe rogan
BART, whatever it is.
ari shaffir
No, I call it the BART just to fuck with them.
joe rogan
Um, so I, I took this edible and it was an unregulated edible, so I have no idea.
And it was way too strong.
And I was, I was like, why do my ears feel weird?
And they're like, because you're under the ocean.
And I was like, no.
It was like the longest 20 minutes of my life waiting to pop out on the other side.
Where I was like, we're under this.
How long has this fucking subway been under the ocean?
Like, how long has this existed?
Like, what are the odds this thing is still good?
Is anybody out there diving, checking on the tube, making sure there's no holes in it?
You know, in this fucking.
ari shaffir
You started doing all the research in your head.
joe rogan
And it was like, I felt like I was talking to people, but what I was seeing was a two dimensional, like, you know, like those stand ins, like when you go to the movie and it's like, you know, a person standing there, like thumbs up, but it's like just a two dimensional cardboard cutout.
That's what everybody looked like to me.
It was like a two dimensional cardboard cutout, but occasionally I'd see their soul.
Peeking around their shoulder.
It was so heavy.
I don't know what the number was.
Don't you miss how many X's?
ari shaffir
That kind of high.
I don't get that kind of high or drunk anymore.
joe rogan
Well, that kind of high is really fun after it's over.
When you look back, when it's happening, it's terrifying.
ari shaffir
Oh, those are the best.
joe rogan
I remember a guy did jiu jitsu with, he made pills.
He made THC pills because he was like one of those all day guys.
He was just high constantly, all the time.
unidentified
Dab.
joe rogan
And so, yeah, the dab guys.
But this is pre dabs.
And so this guy made pills, THC pills.
I go, How many should you take?
And he goes, You should probably start off with one, but I take two.
So I took two because I'm an asshole.
And I wound up having this conversation with this guy, and he was weirding me out.
It was at a jiu jitsu tournament.
I was like, Why is this guy so weird?
It turns out the dude eventually got arrested for rape.
And not just arrested for rape, but he was on the run.
And he was on the run.
And couldn't stop doing jujitsu.
And the way they caught him was he went to like Seattle or somewhere.
Like, cause this was in California.
ari shaffir
He'd sign up for classes.
joe rogan
And he was just rolling, but he was killing everybody.
And I was like, who is this fucking guy?
Like, why is this guy so good?
And then eventually they realized it was him.
They go, oh my God, this guy's wanted for rape.
ari shaffir
Wow.
joe rogan
He was a crazy person.
And when I was like super high on these pills, I could see all the crazy in his eyes.
Like, he didn't say anything crazy.
ari shaffir
Dude, you can.
When you're on drugs, you can see through people.
unidentified
You can.
You can.
joe rogan
You can see their soul.
ari shaffir
It's interesting.
unidentified
It is.
ari shaffir
You really can see it.
It's not one of those where I'm like, nah, it was just the drug fucking with me.
You can tell.
joe rogan
And so this is like a year or so later, he gets arrested and winds up fleeing.
I think he maybe was out on bail or he was wanted and fleeed and went to the Pacific Northwest.
But I remember when I heard the story, I was like, oh, that makes sense.
Because he had the weirdest energy.
Just like this dark energy, like creepy, dark energy.
ari shaffir
Sometimes, if you're on like a psychedelic and then someone's not on with you, you know, but they're around you, you're like, Hey, you got to go.
You're freaking me out.
Like, I don't know.
Your energy is not of this.
I don't know if you're looking at me, but like, you got to take off.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You see like motivations.
ari shaffir
You see everything so clearly.
unidentified
I know.
joe rogan
It's weird.
But it's not reliable.
It's not like I'm about to go into a meeting with this defendant.
I need to know if he's actually innocent or guilty.
So I'm going to take.
Five grams of mushrooms.
ari shaffir
I stared through his soul.
Me and Big J were leaving Blues Fest in Ottawa once.
It's like a city festival, but then you wander into what used to be the safest city in Canada.
So you're all fucked up.
It's great.
And as you're leaving, you just see who's on what drug.
Like you just can tell, like mushrooms, acid, weed, drunk.
unidentified
Molly.
ari shaffir
Yeah, you just see it all.
You just see through everybody.
They're just sitting there talking.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't.
I wonder what's going to happen now that this thing happened in the White House.
ari shaffir
First of all, I thought.
You know, I'm not on the news, so I'm hearing stuff little by little about everything.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
I thought it was just Ibogaine, which is like great.
Most people need that.
And then, and then, I mean, Ed Clay has been telling me about that for so long.
joe rogan
Well, Ed Clay, I talked about him on the podcast because he was one of the ways that I found out about it.
unidentified
Me too.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
In Nashville.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ari shaffir
And he would tell you, he's like, you should get on it.
It helps your addiction.
I'm like, I'm loving what I'm doing right now.
I don't want to get off of it.
joe rogan
I don't need to fuck up my high.
ari shaffir
But I'm like, this makes sense.
And then I'll find, great.
You got that.
And then I find out it's also, I mean, the best hippie flip.
You got that MDMA and boomers and shrooms.
joe rogan
And psilocybin.
Yeah.
Well, it's because MDMA and psilocybin, MAPS was already doing MDMA studies with veterans.
So, for people to watch a bunch of people get blown up and lost their friends and come back, MDMA was one of the best therapies for helping them overcome PTSD.
So, MAPS had already pushed that through, and Johns Hopkins had already done these studies with psilocybin.
So, they already pushed these things, and they were already on the way to getting approval through the FDA.
But the problem was nobody wants to stick their neck out and sign off on it.
ari shaffir
It's the problem with politics.
If you're running, we talked about this, if you're running for an office and the opponent can say he wants drugs legalized, then you're fucked.
So, it's like it really binds your hands.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Well, that's funny because that's kind of what Dan Patrick did in Texas about marijuana.
But to his credit, Dan Patrick met with Rick Perry and Brian Hubbard, the guys that passed this Texas Ibogaine Initiative, and they convinced him of what this stuff actually is.
And so they've donated.
So he's allocated, rather, $100 million in Texas for the Ibogaine Initiative, which is amazing.
But that's a sign of an intelligent man.
Like this Dan Patrick guy had this stance on weed.
There's like, weed's bad, it's ruining everything.
And then they come to him, and he's like, I am staunchly opposed to this.
And they sit down with him.
He explains, Brian Hubbard explains, and he's very eloquent.
He explained what Ibogaine does.
It's not recreational at all.
And he hears it, and he hears how much it'll help, particularly veterans that come back that are addicted to opiates and they're all fucked up.
And even CTE, even like brain injuries from getting blown up.
It's neuroregenerative somehow.
It's a crazy plant.
And so, to his credit, he signed off.
And they allocated $100 million for the Texas Ibogaine Initiative.
Which is amazing.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
But it's like all these people have these ideas in their head, but it's all because of Nixon.
All of it goes back to the.
ari shaffir
You grew up with probably this is evil.
unidentified
This is.
ari shaffir
You'll get stuck that way kind of stuff.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think some people do.
This is what's important about these studies.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
This is what's important about these studies.
I think this is important about weed too.
I'm very adamant that it's not for everybody.
I think there's a lot of things.
unidentified
It's so strong.
Some of it's so strong.
joe rogan
And some people are already on the way to schizo.
They're already on the way.
There's schizophrenia in their family.
There's like, they just, that's not a good thing for them.
ari shaffir
Well, what's making a comeback, luckily, is like Mexican weed.
It's like the 12% THC, where it's like, it's just going to be.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's just like the old days.
ari shaffir
I'm trying to bury myself and miss this movie again.
joe rogan
I don't want to go to Pluto.
ari shaffir
Is there anything?
joe rogan
I want to be in the clouds right above the city.
That's it.
ari shaffir
What's the shot in a beer of weed?
I want that.
joe rogan
That's it.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
I don't want to fucking dab.
I see these dabbers.
jamie vernon
Oh, I asked for meds in a dispensary once, and they're like, What are you?
unidentified
What?
What is that?
Mitts?
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're all so hardcore.
ari shaffir
I remember the early days, it was like Zen dispensary, one of the early ones, and I was just getting into it.
Atari hooked me up.
Remember that guy with weed?
And it was like, Okay, so now I'm into it.
And I went to Zen, and I was like, Listen, I like to smoke cigarettes while I write.
I'm off cigarettes now, but it's a habit.
So I need something.
But if I smoke a joint, I'm done writing.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
And that's what they say.
Oh, you want Mexican weed?
We can do that for you.
joe rogan
Just something calm.
ari shaffir
Just like mild.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's like going to a powerlifting gym and saying, Do you guys have yoga classes?
ari shaffir
I just feel so wrong to say that.
joe rogan
Get the fuck out of here.
unidentified
Get the fuck out of here.
Got the fuck out of here to get checked.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
They did that in Ecuador.
There was a city I was in when I did ayahuasca, and it was a guy from the tourism board.
And he said, What's going to, there's three cities that are like on the border to the Amazon.
And, you know, you could go in from any one of them.
And they go, What's going to separate our city from all these other Amazonian cities?
And they go, Let's be the ayahuasca city.
And everyone else on the tourism board said, No, we are not getting a bunch of fucking hippie backpackers in here to be drug addicts in our town.
Like, that's not what we're looking for at all.
unidentified
Here.
This thing sucks.
ari shaffir
Yeah, it did.
You just filled it up.
unidentified
I'm not.
ari shaffir
There's a lever on it, too.
I don't know.
And he goes, Okay, fair.
But he goes, Can I take you on an ayahuasca trip to each member?
And each member was like, You know, they're half indigenous.
They're like, Sure.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
And then one by one, they all go, Oh, this isn't an addictive thing.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So I had the wrong idea in my head of what this was.
You come once, you don't come back for a year.
joe rogan
Yeah, everybody had that thing from the Nixon administration.
It's the Controlled Substances Act of 1970.
And that thing.
That's it's really nuts, but for 56 years we've been living underneath that.
ari shaffir
It's just it becomes a given, uh huh.
Yeah, you don't think to reevaluate any knowledge that's in there already.
joe rogan
I know, and it's like so many people just a little microdose of shrooms, it'll change your life.
It would help so many people.
There's so many people that are stressed out for no reason, it really does give you such a reset 100%.
ari shaffir
Molly, too.
I know that's why I was talking to you.
The MDMA, the mass people were always like, Please start calling it MDMA.
When you call it Molly, it becomes a party drug.
I'm like, Well, I do it at parties.
So that's what it is for me.
joe rogan
The problem with what they're saying by saying that is like, no, because it is a party drug, too.
It's also just like, what are we going to call whiskey?
We're going to call it, you know, alcohol by volume.
Are you going to have a technical term for what whiskey is?
Fuck off.
It's whiskey.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's why people like it.
ari shaffir
Like, you call it that if you want.
joe rogan
Yeah, you do whatever you want.
I'm going to call it Molly.
unidentified
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
joe rogan
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Fuck off with all your rules.
ari shaffir
That's a good ringtone.
Riding Elephants in Thailand 00:03:46
joe rogan
But it's because they've spent so much money and so much time and so much effort trying to get this stuff passed through.
ari shaffir
It would be so huge if you could just go get some mushrooms.
joe rogan
Oh, it'd be so huge.
And why can't you if you can go to Costco and just buy a jug of whiskey and drink yourself to death?
ari shaffir
It also, so like in Edinburgh, they have a season for it, and you can go through the meadows or any of these fields and just like pick mushrooms.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
But if it's on your shoe, it's fine.
And if it comes off your shoe, then it's illegal.
unidentified
Oh, that's hilarious.
ari shaffir
But it's just like growing there.
joe rogan
You know where Duncan used to live in Asheville?
They started giving the cows a certain type of feed that had antifungal properties to it.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
So that they wouldn't grow.
So, who knows what it did to the cow's gut?
You know, for not ruin the cow's.
Just because so many kids were picking mushrooms off of the cow shit, we got to put a stop to this.
ari shaffir
In Thailand, it's the elephant shit.
And the guys who ran the elephant abusive centers, whatever, so you could ride them and make them play harmonica.
Stuff that's natural in the wild.
unidentified
Oh, no.
ari shaffir
Oh, no, guys.
Elephants love painting you a picture.
joe rogan
We wrote them when we were in Thailand.
unidentified
It's okay.
ari shaffir
Then I went back my second time, and everyone in the hostel was doing that.
And then I was like, no, I already did it.
And they go, humane or non humane?
I'm like, oh, definitely the humane one.
Like, did you ride them?
That's inhumane.
I'm like, oh, yeah, inhumane then.
joe rogan
Well, the elephants wanted you to ride them.
They don't mind.
Like, because you weigh nothing and you feed them first and you give them an offering, right?
So, first of all, you wash them and you feed them.
So, you feed them, like, you give them sugar cane.
And you have to develop a relationship with the elephant before you ride it.
Like, these people were all free range elephants.
They're all rescue elephants.
So, the elephants would come in out of the jungle.
They weren't in cages.
ari shaffir
Oh, really?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It was wild.
ari shaffir
And they would get a saddle on them?
unidentified
Uh huh.
joe rogan
Well, you don't.
It's barely a saddle.
You just kind of climb onto them.
And there's like a thing that you hold onto.
And they're totally cool with it.
And then at the end, you go to this like pond and you wash them.
And so it's like they could kill you anytime they want to, you know?
So it's like it's a relationship.
And it's not.
They're not prisoners and they're not abused at all.
The people that are running this, the place that I went to, but even then, I did a video with it and I said.
You know, you could ride them.
I go, I rode them.
I don't recommend it.
I don't think you should do it.
I would never do it again.
I would never ride them again because it just feels fucked up.
I would rather just feed them and pet them and say, You're nice.
But I don't need to go through the jungle.
ari shaffir
Yeah, but also, like, you rode them.
unidentified
I did.
ari shaffir
So, like, if you hadn't rode them, you'd be like, I've never ridden an elephant.
joe rogan
I wouldn't have done it at all if my family didn't want to do it.
They wanted to do it.
So I said, Okay, let's go.
And they enjoyed it.
It was a good experience.
You know, the kids are, they're little and we're taking them through Thailand.
ari shaffir
And yeah, it's wild.
I wonder sometimes if these kids, I was talking to, Tell me about it.
Like, if they'll know later in life how cool their experience was, like, it'll be till like that 35 or 40.
They'll be like, oh, I had a great child.
I didn't understand the coolest things I did.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think my kids are pretty aware of it.
ari shaffir
But anyway, they had these hippies would go over the encampment and pick out mushrooms from elephant paddies.
And then eventually the people, the herders, were like, why do these fucking dreadlock people keep coming in at night and like sniffing around our shit?
And then they realized what it was and they go, oh, no, no, no, we'll sell this.
joe rogan
Oh, so they sell it.
Is it illegal in Thailand?
Like, what is the legality of mushrooms?
ari shaffir
Now, I don't know because I think they just legalized weed in Thailand.
unidentified
Did they really?
ari shaffir
Yeah, but back then, when it was illegal, there were bars that sold your joints, and those are the bars that paid the cops.
Terrorism and the Taliban 00:05:45
ari shaffir
And so, for all intents and purposes, you're fine.
joe rogan
Bro, I would not fuck around with drugs in another country.
ari shaffir
Lame.
unidentified
Yeah, me.
That's me.
Yeah.
Super lame.
joe rogan
I mean, talk to Brittany Griner.
How'd that work out?
unidentified
Not good.
joe rogan
Do you think when she was in jail, the guards would fuck with her and show videos of her missing?
Like, how come you miss?
How come you miss this shot?
ari shaffir
Return to breakdowns?
joe rogan
You eat too much pussy?
You smoke too much weed?
You miss this shot?
She was in jail for a long fucking time.
ari shaffir
She was in jail for a while.
joe rogan
I think she was in jail for like, wasn't it like six months or something like that?
ari shaffir
I knew someone who worked at the agency she was at, the sports management agency.
Every day they started with 15 minutes of like, hey, before we get into anyone else's business, how are we getting her out?
unidentified
10 months.
joe rogan
Almost a fucking year in jail in Russia.
That's crazy.
ari shaffir
For nine years in a penal colony.
That was a phenomenon because they just told America, like, hey guys, keep quiet.
We can get her out.
She's a nothing asset.
Just everyone be quiet.
And the liberal, angry housewives are like, no, I want to say something.
And they all just kept talking.
And eventually, Russia's like, oh, is this an important one?
unidentified
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
Oh, we'll keep her in.
Is that what happened?
unidentified
Yeah, I think so.
ari shaffir
I think it was Biden was like, just shut up.
We'll get her out to shut up.
And they made it into a bigger thing.
joe rogan
So that they could get the merchant of death released.
ari shaffir
We are the worst at hand.
Americans are so bad at handling things they don't know how to handle.
They just rush in full bore going, I know how to fix it with no knowledge of it.
joe rogan
Well, it's also once a story gets out in any form, influencers cannot help talk about it.
ari shaffir
They can't help it.
joe rogan
It's their currency.
There's no way they're not going to talk about it.
ari shaffir
Same as all the late night guys.
They knew after Trump won that talking about him helps them.
Before we said we're trying to take him down, but now we've seen the research.
We know it's helping them.
I'm still going to do it because it's my money.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
People get really angry.
They can't help it.
They can't help it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, that's like CNN's most of their ratings were talking shit about Trump.
Like every time he did something outrageous, they would talk shit about him and they would have him on, and it just made him more and more popular because I don't think they understood how much Americans despise them.
You know, they thought, we're CNN.
We are the news.
We're CNN.
And then because the fact that Trump was opposed to them and they just kept showing him, they're like, oh, he must be good because you guys suck.
ari shaffir
Right.
You ever hear the theory that terrorism and the U.S. are symbiotic?
unidentified
What's the theory?
How does it work?
ari shaffir
Terrorism can't exist without the U.S. dominating their countries.
unidentified
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
ari shaffir
And the U.S., they can't keep funneling money to weapons without terrorists.
joe rogan
Well, U.S. and Israel.
I mean, that's the thing with Hamas and Netanyahu.
He famously said they were funding Hamas.
We need them.
When we fund Hamas, we can control the height of the flame.
ari shaffir
For 9 11, it popped off a little high, but we need something to be like, hey, we're all against that.
And then those countries will be like, Look, they're all against us.
So they just like they need each other to keep growing.
joe rogan
Well, it makes sense.
And also, you need an enemy in order to get higher military contracts, higher budgets.
I mean, if you don't have terrorism, how can you justify a trillion dollar military?
ari shaffir
So you need to like say, hey, they're a real threat.
Like, that's a 30 person group.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
They're not coming for us, but like, we got to take them down.
Look at the training they're doing.
joe rogan
Have you ever seen Shane's bit?
ari shaffir
Monkey bars.
They're all monkey bars doing the training.
unidentified
I love that bit.
joe rogan
I love that bit about how bad they are at jumping jacks.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
That's what fat people do to get in shape of the biggest loser.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they're stuck over there.
Like, shut up.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're not going over there.
It's, and then I always wondered why we left behind all the shit.
Like, cynically, I'm like, do we leave that stuff behind so that they could use it?
ari shaffir
The older I get, the less I think there's accidents.
There's ineptitude for sure, but there's also like, we've done the research, we know.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
At some point, you know, there's bad moves you make here or there, but.
joe rogan
I mean, we left behind tanks and Black Hawk helicopters.
Like, what?
We couldn't get those out.
We had to leave right now.
We were there for 20 years.
Also, we got to get out right away.
ari shaffir
You don't want to put a grenade in each one first before you go?
unidentified
No.
ari shaffir
Like, what do you mean?
And also, those are still good.
Yeah, we didn't get out like Vietnam.
joe rogan
Park them in a field and drop a fucking bomb on it.
Yeah, you don't have to leave it there for the enemy.
For the Taliban, so they can keep the people under their thumb.
ari shaffir
Yeah, if you retreated last second, I could see it, but it wasn't that.
And then you're like.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think they didn't have to leave when they left.
The way they left was insane.
When you see those ships that are the planes that are flying away, and people are hanging on to the wheels of the plane and falling off because they don't want to be left behind.
ari shaffir
Because they know.
joe rogan
There's so many people that work with the Americans.
ari shaffir
You said you'd protect us over and over again.
And then you're like, yeah, we've done this over and over again.
We'll just say it.
unidentified
Exactly.
jamie vernon
It says that it was equipment we gave to the Afghan state.
So it wasn't U.S. equipment any longer.
ari shaffir
And it's already given over to them?
joe rogan
We gave it to the Afghan state, but not the Taliban.
What did the Taliban do?
The National Defense and Security Forces.
Right.
And then there was not that many of them.
And so the moment that we left, the Taliban just took everything.
ari shaffir
There's also like, what is the Taliban?
We have this word on it, it's like an evil word, but are they just like the government in a lot of these places?
Like the cartels in Colombia, they like build schools, they do bad shit, but they also are the government.
They make sure the businesses run okay.
And so you have this idea of cartel, it sounds like that, but it's like it's more than that.
Tylenol, Painkillers, and Coca Cola 00:11:31
ari shaffir
I wonder how much the Taliban is actually into terrorism and how much is like just running day to day stuff.
joe rogan
Well, that's a good point because in America, I mean, what are the pharmaceutical drug companies?
I mean, how many people have done it?
We talked about this the other day.
It's like.
70,000 people died of opioid overdoses in America in 2024.
unidentified
70,000.
joe rogan
So, like, and a lot of that is probably cartel fentanyl, but a lot of it is like flat out old school oxycodone.
So, it's like, what are they?
unidentified
What are they?
joe rogan
And how much are they donating to those campaigns every year?
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
But they thought, you saw the most effective thing of that Sackler with Ferris Bueller, that documentary series, whatever painkiller, is they started every episode with a real.
Talking about how their son is dead.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Or, you know, something like that.
Yeah.
And then they can, you're like, oh my God, this makes it so real.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Painkiller, that's what it's called.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It was so good.
joe rogan
That's Peter Berg's.
Yeah.
We talked about that the other day.
It's an amazing series.
Amazing series.
Like that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Matthew Broderick plays such a good fucking creep.
He did such a good job.
God, that fucking show's so disturbing because it's based on true story.
ari shaffir
And he shows a guy falling into the despair from being fine to just like, ugh.
joe rogan
We all know somebody who got hooked.
I mean, it's so potent.
It's so powerful.
And they told doctors, they told people, they told everybody that it wasn't even addictive.
They knew it was addictive, they knew it operated on the same path.
I mean, that's in the painkiller series.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That it operates on the same pathway as heroin.
Like, you're saying that this is not addictive.
This is a lie.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
What they did there was go, if that movie is completely accurate, it's like, okay, so this is for heavily cancerous, like bedridden people that have a pain threshold of eight to 10.
Like, it'll be good for them.
Why don't we just extend the pain threshold to three to ten?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And that allows a lot more people in.
If you're at a nine, it doesn't matter if I get addicted.
My life is awful right now.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
If you're at a three, like, walk it off.
unidentified
Exactly.
joe rogan
I talked about when I got my nose fixed, when the doctor tried to give me two different opiates.
And I was like, it was nothing.
I mean, it didn't even hurt.
It was just mildly uncomfortable.
And that was also because it was stuffed up with gauze, like those, it wasn't even gauze, like these foam things with a tube that they stuff in your nose to keep your nostrils open while it's healing.
But, you know, he gave me two different opiates.
And I was like, is it going to get worse than this?
Because I don't, I'm fine.
ari shaffir
Yeah, they don't tell you, but be careful.
I would not take it unless you absolutely need it.
joe rogan
No, they don't tell you any of that.
They want you to do it because they're financially incentivized.
ari shaffir
I got a wisdom tooth out, and the dentist was like, I was like, hey, I don't want to like.
joe rogan
Why'd you get a wisdom tooth out?
Did it hurt?
ari shaffir
I don't remember.
It was so long ago.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It was like 15, 18 years ago.
joe rogan
What's the logic on that?
Are you supposed to get wisdom teeth taken out?
ari shaffir
I've had both out.
joe rogan
Because I've heard people say you shouldn't.
Like, there's no reason to take them out.
ari shaffir
Why do you?
That they get impacted or something?
unidentified
I don't know.
jamie vernon
Often they grow in, they're growing in wrong and they cause problems with other teeth.
ari shaffir
It had to be that.
But he gave me this thing of Vicodin.
I was like, I don't want to.
And he goes, You're friends with comedians, right?
And I was like, Yeah, he goes, Your friends will want it.
Whatever you don't need.
unidentified
What the?
ari shaffir
Whatever you don't need.
I'm sure you could find.
He was joking around, but he was right.
I have tons of addict friends.
They are all like, Nice.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Advising me to take aspirin, not use up one of those precious Vicodins.
joe rogan
I took that stuff once when I had my first ACL reconstruction.
And it made me so stupid.
ari shaffir
Vicodin?
joe rogan
I think it was Vicodin.
It was either Vicodin or Percocet.
I can't remember, but I think it was Vicodin.
But I wound up selling it at the pool hall.
ari shaffir
Yeah, sell it.
Get some money.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Yeah, do the right thing.
The only time I would advise taking Vicodin is if you have like two beers and really want a good night.
unidentified
Really?
ari shaffir
Oh, yeah.
Those go so well with liquor.
joe rogan
Is Vicodin an opiate?
Is it the same thing as Oxycodone?
Like, what is Vicodin?
ari shaffir
It's a downer.
I don't know what Oxycodone does.
unidentified
It's a downer.
jamie vernon
It combines hydrocodone and Tylenol.
joe rogan
Oh, Tylenol.
Tylenol and Hydrocodone.
ari shaffir
Nice one, Joe.
joe rogan
A lot of people die from that shit, too.
ari shaffir
Tylenol?
joe rogan
Yeah.
I was reading this sad story once about this lady who she had COVID and she was in so much pain from COVID that she kept taking Tylenol and she died of a fucking liver failure.
ari shaffir
Ooh.
joe rogan
Because the acetaminophen killed her liver.
ari shaffir
Sometimes you see people dying and you're like, what a loser way to die.
You can't ever tell anybody.
There's no victimhood.
Aspirin overdose?
unidentified
Dork.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
How much aspirin do you have to take before you die?
That seems nuts.
ari shaffir
I feel like all these middle school girls would try it before they had access to stuff.
unidentified
Really?
ari shaffir
When they just want to be drama queens.
Like, I took a whole bottle of aspirin.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I knew a girl would do exactly that thing.
Exactly that in high school.
ari shaffir
Yeah, me too.
joe rogan
Yeah, she took aspirin.
ari shaffir
But it's like, that's not going to do it.
But your call for attention is there.
joe rogan
She was also crazy annoying.
ari shaffir
Like, let me tell you how she did it.
joe rogan
But she had big tits and she fucked everybody.
She was nuts.
ari shaffir
And I'll accept it.
joe rogan
This girl was a fucking freak.
She fucked everybody.
She was an animal.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Catholic school girl.
jamie vernon
I just came across something weird.
unidentified
What?
jamie vernon
I just typed in Tylenol deaths and this thing came up.
The Chicago Tylenol murders.
unidentified
Ooh.
jamie vernon
It seems like it's an unspeakable thing.
unidentified
Drug tampering.
jamie vernon
Yeah, there's tampered Tylenol that people bought that was potassium cyanide.
Seven people died.
ari shaffir
Yeah, they broke.
That's when they started doing the seal on top.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Yeah, right?
joe rogan
I remember this.
I remember this.
This is when I was in high school.
Do they know why?
jamie vernon
Investigation suspects.
joe rogan
I wonder what the conspiracy is.
Yeah, what's the tinfoil at?
jamie vernon
Someone recently was arrested.
No suspect has been charged as of 2026.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
So a bunch of people died and they just got away with it.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
unidentified
Wow.
jamie vernon
Someone was convicted of extortion, sending a letter to Tylenol manufacturer claiming responsibility and demanding a million dollars.
ari shaffir
If I remember right, they said we found out the problem with one plant that had whatever, and we've gotten.
And someone else was like, well, okay, I bought this bottle before that happened, so this should be safe.
And then it wasn't.
And then it was like Tylenol or whatever was like.
Covering up how bad it got instead of going recall everything.
joe rogan
Estimated 31 million bottles were in circulation with a retail value of over $100 million, equivalent to $334 million in 2025.
The company also advertised in the national media for individuals not to consume any of its products that contained acetaminophen after it was determined that only these capsules had been tampered with.
unidentified
Wow.
jamie vernon
There were other ones in California that had strychnine in them.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
So that's probably one of those things, too.
There's copycats.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
Like one person hears about someone buying poisoned Tylenol.
ari shaffir
I want to do that.
joe rogan
Yeah, I want to poison people in Ohio.
unidentified
Hacks.
joe rogan
I want to poison, yeah.
unidentified
Fucking hacks.
ari shaffir
Get your own shit.
joe rogan
Fucking hacks.
ari shaffir
Just be original.
Be awful, evil, but be original.
There's so many of those, like the Tylenol, where like, wait, were you guys evilly covering this up and resulting in more deaths?
That I found out down there was like Coca Cola, Dole.
We're like, oh, these are like evil corporations.
joe rogan
As soon as they realized that, you know, the Pinto story?
ari shaffir
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
So Ford found out.
Let's research this to make sure this is true because someone brought it up on the podcast.
They're blowing up.
And they realize it's cheaper to just pay people off that died from their car being blown up than it is to recall all these Ford Pintos.
Because the Pinto had like the gas tank, rather, was in the back.
Yeah, something like that.
And there was something about the design where if you got rear end, it would blow up.
ari shaffir
And it was just, they did a dollar value on it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Somebody did.
I want to say Ford.
I want to, you know, you say Ford, but really it's a person.
It's not the Ford of today.
It's some guy.
jamie vernon
Cool, Kyrie.
joe rogan
Yeah, investigators and lawsuits showed that pre production crash tests had already revealed this vulnerability.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
But the car still went to market largely unchanged.
Yeah.
Who told us about this?
unidentified
I'll check.
ari shaffir
I kind of remember that.
joe rogan
So one of our guests explained that to us, and it was just like, oh, God.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
It's so dark.
It's such a fucking dark, evil thing to do to say, well, people are going to die, but we'll just pay them off.
ari shaffir
What's the number?
joe rogan
Yeah, what is the number?
First of all, the car sucked.
Why'd you make it in the first place?
unidentified
It's a terrible car.
joe rogan
It's so ugly, too.
ari shaffir
It kind of looks cool now, but.
unidentified
No, it doesn't.
ari shaffir
It's got that sun deck in the back.
unidentified
Garbage.
joe rogan
Garbage car.
ari shaffir
So, Coca Cola would have people just like if you were like a leftist leader running for whatever, they were worried that if that person got in power, they would unionize their population and that would cost them more money in the plants.
And they would just have people straight killed.
Straight up, get them out of the way.
joe rogan
Coca Cola had people whacked.
ari shaffir
Dole used to be the American Fruit Company.
joe rogan
I thought Coke and a Smile.
They had people whacked.
ari shaffir
I mean, look it up.
joe rogan
But like, when you start looking at it, it's probably an executive somewhere.
Probably an executive.
They didn't do a big house of cards style who had some guy who was a fixer for him.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And he's like, look, these motherfuckers are causing problems.
And this guy was concerned with his job as whatever, CEO, executive.
ari shaffir
But it's happened over a long period of time.
They were giving money to, I think, FARC or something in Colombia after they were already labeled like a terrorist organization.
They're still giving them money.
joe rogan
For decades, Coca-Cola's faced several severe allegations regarding the murder and intimidation of union leaders at bottling plants in Colombia and Guatemala.
ari shaffir
They hired paramilitary death squads to suppress labor activism.
That's like, oh, what?
They want an honest day's pay?
Get rid of him.
joe rogan
You know, do you remember when Ross Perot was running for president?
You were too young.
ari shaffir
I barely remember, but sort of.
joe rogan
I was just starting to be aware of how fucked up politics were.
And because he was on television explaining.
About the World Trade Organization, about when they were going to start opening up plants in Mexico and moving jobs to Mexico.
He's like, What you're going to hear is a giant sucking sound where all the money and jobs are going to go down to Mexico.
And what we allowed during that time was essentially what the labor unions were doing in this country was making sure that people had a great wage because the corporations were getting paid well.
So, the CEOs wanted all the money like they always do.
The corporation wanted all the money.
But you really can't make a Mustang unless you have the people that are on the assembly line, unless you have the people that are doing all the hard labor and all the work, and they should get compensated correctly.
So, the auto unions workers organized it and they went on strike and they did what they had to do and they were making a great living.
They were making a great living, and these people had a nice house and they had a car and a garage, and it felt good.
That they were getting paid really well.
And so a lot of people thought, well, they're getting paid too well.
And this is fucking up our profits.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
And so, what, and I'm simplifying this.
Square Pizza and Detroit Labor 00:07:54
ari shaffir
If you're a historian.
Take 10 bucks for a million people instead of like the top guys who make a million dollars.
joe rogan
What they did is just open up a plant in Mexico and pay people fucking slave labor.
And they go over there and they pay them slave wages.
And these people are making cars for like fucking how much?
A dollar a day or something like that.
Instead of getting healthcare and retirement and, you know, and so.
ari shaffir
That's what we're talking about.
The free market says go to Mexico.
The moral market says no, Hold on.
Let's just pay people what they deserve here.
joe rogan
But it's not just that, but they destroyed Detroit.
ari shaffir
That's right.
joe rogan
That's Roger and me.
That documentary, Michael Moore's greatest documentary, his first one is his best one.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because it's really documenting a horrific attack on Detroit and Flint, Michigan, and all those places up there where there's all these auto plants and they all just went away, man.
And those jobs went away, and now Detroit is.
Detroit's kind of bouncing back.
ari shaffir
It's kind of back.
Danny was talking about it, Brown, where he was like, just before COVID, it was like starting to be like some cool new restaurants and like really coming back.
Then COVID kind of nailed it down again.
And now it's, I think, back, back, going back up again.
joe rogan
They have some cool stuff in there.
I mean, there's a bunch of companies that are like proudly like made in Detroit.
ari shaffir
Underrated pizza.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Detroit pizza.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
Square.
Yeah, it's really good.
joe rogan
Square.
Interesting.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Crispy like on every bite, every slice.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
ari shaffir
Because it's not thick crust square.
It's like that thin crust square.
unidentified
It's just really good.
joe rogan
Isn't it funny that we want it in a circle?
I want it in a circle.
unidentified
Why?
joe rogan
I don't know.
unidentified
Odd.
joe rogan
It's weird.
You get committed to it.
We don't get committed to that with a sandwich.
If I go to a Jewish deli and I get a square sandwich, I don't say, No, I want it to look like a hoagie.
I want it to look like a submarine.
ari shaffir
It doesn't look right.
joe rogan
Right.
No one cares.
ari shaffir
No one cares the shape.
joe rogan
No.
It's a really good sandwich.
But some people do.
If you give them a cheeseburger, but it's on bread, they're like, What is this bullshit?
Square bullshit.
I want a round bun, motherfucker.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
On rye bread?
joe rogan
What is this?
Rye bread is for pastrami.
Give me rye bread with a fucking cheeseburger, you communist.
ari shaffir
Is my name Ruben?
Then why are you giving me something that looks like a fucking Ruben?
joe rogan
Yeah, what is this?
Like if you buy an Italian sandwich, it has to come on a big old fucking hoagie roll.
A ciabatta.
You know, one of those big fucking seeded.
Yeah, that's what you want.
ari shaffir
All bread.
joe rogan
It's weird that we want our pizza to only be circular.
ari shaffir
And then what's weird too is you're not eating it in the round version.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
You're eating it in this weird triangle.
joe rogan
Right.
ari shaffir
You're eating it on the round version.
Just an edge of round.
That edge could be.
joe rogan
You know what I've seen that deeply disturbs me?
ari shaffir
Oh, no.
joe rogan
When people take a circular pizza and then they chop it up into a bunch of squares, I'm like, what have you done?
jamie vernon
No, that's the Ohio style.
joe rogan
Is that what it is?
ari shaffir
Really?
joe rogan
I mean, that's what it's called?
jamie vernon
Or pub style.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
ari shaffir
So you split it up a lot?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
That makes kind of sense, but not for a.
jamie vernon
You bring one pizza into the bar, and now fucking 10 people can get a bite as opposed to.
ari shaffir
I guess the only order is to make slices like that thin.
Like real thin, like long.
But that's not fun.
jamie vernon
We also have edge to edge toppings.
joe rogan
How many pizzas has Dave Portnoy sold?
If you really stop and think about it, Dave Portnoy is probably responsible for more pizza sales in this country than any other living human being.
ari shaffir
Yeah, probably.
joe rogan
Yeah, because I watch his pizza reviews.
I want to go get a pizza.
ari shaffir
He gives it to you, honest.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Oh, he's very good at it.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, he really loves pizza, too.
Like, you could tell.
Like, this is a.
He's not making any money off of that.
ari shaffir
No, he's really not.
unidentified
No.
ari shaffir
It's just like some video games.
joe rogan
It's a labor of love.
He likes it.
It's fun for him, and it's become a thing.
And he gets in arguments with pizza places sometimes.
Like, they yell at him.
unidentified
He yells at them.
ari shaffir
I can't film in here.
joe rogan
It's like, it's so great.
It's like, really crazy.
ari shaffir
It's so great.
joe rogan
But I've gone to places.
Because he recommended him.
Like, if I find out that I'm in a town and I know that there's pizza there, I'm like, what does Portnoy think?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You want a local wreck.
It's always better than a restaurant.
joe rogan
No one's done that with anything else.
Like, what other celebrities have done that with any other kind of food where they go places and review it?
ari shaffir
There's a guy in New York, not a celebrity, but his goal was to search out every single slice in New York.
It took him years and then name the best ones.
joe rogan
Boy, how would you know?
How are you going to compare a slice to a slice you had a year ago?
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
I guess you got to, yeah, you really got to know.
joe rogan
How are you going to know?
ari shaffir
You can instantly go no.
But, yeah, anything that's good, you've got to go back and forth.
joe rogan
Plus, it's super subjective.
ari shaffir
Obviously.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You've got to go cheese.
You've got to compare cheese to cheese.
joe rogan
Right.
It has to be just plain cheese pizza, which is a classic.
It's so good.
I mean, other pizzas are great, but, man, a really good plain cheese pizza is fucking phenomenal.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Especially if it's done well.
ari shaffir
Fresh out.
Here's the secret, too, if you're in New York, underrated tip.
I told Ruddy this.
He's going to New York.
Fat guy.
So he's going to want to get some tips.
I was like, no matter what you were going to get, just say, do you have anything fresh coming out?
And they say, it's going to be like 10 more minutes.
It's okay.
I'll wait.
That's what you want.
joe rogan
It's like when you go to Krispy Kreme and they got the hot donuts, but they're coming out hot.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
The lights on.
joe rogan
Without lights on.
If I'm thinking about having it, when I used to live in L.A., there was a Krispy Kreme down the street, it was on the way home.
And if I drive by, if that fucking hot light was on, I'm like, I'm pulling in.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm getting a hot one.
ari shaffir
So much better than warmed up.
joe rogan
It's so much better.
Like when they come right out, and the glazed ones that are coming right out hot, they just dissolve in your mouth right there.
ari shaffir
Oh, and good for you.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It's better than vitamins.
unidentified
Look at that.
joe rogan
It cures diabetes.
ari shaffir
You have all dough, and you're like, let's put sugar in it.
Like, let's put sugar on top.
joe rogan
Let's fully overwhelm your system.
I remember I would eat them, and then I'd go back to my house, and I'd go, what's wrong with you?
ari shaffir
Why did you do this?
joe rogan
The fuck is wrong with you?
ari shaffir
We've all been there.
unidentified
You fucking idiot.
ari shaffir
What the fuck's wrong with you?
joe rogan
I feel so bad.
Because I would eat like a half a dozen, too.
I'd eat like six donuts.
I'd get, I always buy like a box and I'd eat half the box.
I'd buy like a box of a dozen and I'd buy like chocolate cream filled and all the different ones and I'd eat like six of them in my car on my way home.
And then I'd get home and I'm like, oh.
unidentified
Hurting.
Oh.
Just poisoned.
ari shaffir
An adult has learned nothing about his body.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
39 years old.
Sitting on a couch.
unidentified
Oh.
ari shaffir
When you have that after 23 years old, you're like, well, you're hurting.
You're like, I just have to let this pass.
I have to just, like, for an hour.
You're like, what a fucking loser.
joe rogan
You're not a fucking loser.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You ate yourself into feeling bad.
joe rogan
I do that all the time.
ari shaffir
Drinking, I get.
It sneaks up on you.
joe rogan
I eat, if I go to New York, every time I go to New York, I eat myself into a coma.
I eat myself way too, just way too fat.
I get hurting, like, where my stomach stretched out so much it hurts.
Because I've got so much food in there, I really can't fit any more food.
And I look pregnant, my stomach sticks out.
ari shaffir
You got burnt belly.
joe rogan
Oh, you look so awful!
And it's all swollen and bloated because it's all the pasta and bread.
It's all the water and the wine, it's making it expand.
ari shaffir
Can't even think straight.
Your body's like, bring everything into the stomach right now.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You have no, like, if I had to pass a spelling bee, I'm fucked.
My IQ dips by like 40 points.
Yeah.
It's, it's terrible.
I'm a glutton, too.
I'm a, I have a real problem with like volume.
I just, when I start eating, I'm like a dog.
I just keep eating.
I just can't stop.
Like, I'm good at not eating.
Like, I can not eat for like 12, 16 hours.
But when I sit down for a meal, I just, or when I'm ordering, I think it comes from being poor when I was a kid, too.
So it's like, there's something about like wanting, Everything.
I want it all.
I want steak.
I want pasta.
I want this.
I want that.
I want that.
Heavyweight Boxing Weight Cutting 00:15:25
joe rogan
And then after, you're like, you never learn, you fucking idiot.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And you're like, I've had about enough.
And then you're like, one more bite.
And then you're like, and now if we're talking, I'm going to eat like two more full plates worth as we're talking.
joe rogan
I remember we were in Atlanta once.
This has happened more than once, but this one lady in Atlanta was like almost arguing with me.
ari shaffir
Too much food.
joe rogan
Yeah.
We went to a diner in Atlanta after our show.
And I ordered two things I ordered like meatloaf and I ordered a steak.
And she's like, Oh, honey, that's too much food.
I go, No, it's not.
I go, I'm going to eat it all.
And she's like, That is too much food.
I go, You don't know me.
ari shaffir
You don't know me.
joe rogan
You don't know me.
I can consume.
I will consume all of this.
This is not a problem.
I need this.
ari shaffir
Yeah, when it's time for you to eat, you eat.
joe rogan
Especially also after shows, dude.
Oh, God, you do fucking long ass shows.
ari shaffir
I brought you and Goldie once a hot dog.
I was just like, I was doing the early days of yours, not early, but like mid level days and then high level days.
So I remember having more access than anyone could really get.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, you were behind me in the.
I remember the time when the camera was on you and Duncan, so you guys made out.
ari shaffir
We were bored.
They timed it.
So we noticed the camera was sitting right behind you.
joe rogan
So they could see the monitor, so they were sitting behind me, so they knew what the camera was capturing.
ari shaffir
So we're on that camera, that guy's camera.
joe rogan
So they waited, and then it's got it right here.
And in the middle, as soon as the camera's on, you guys just type it.
unidentified
Frosty died.
Oh my God.
joe rogan
This is the early, early days.
This is probably like 2002 or something like that.
That was way back in the day.
ari shaffir
First, so first we're giving out.
So Duck was being accused of being an Illuminati a lot then.
So he goes, Oh, there's a camera.
I mean, I got to do this thing.
He goes, What?
He goes, It's just to stoke the flames.
So he'll just do this.
He'll do triangles.
At some point, we made a big triangle with both our hands.
And then I think he said it.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
One of us said it, the other reacted.
Hey, next time we got a kiss, and it was like, Fuck, yes.
unidentified
I'm pretty sure it was good.
ari shaffir
God damn it.
Yeah, you're right.
We do.
It was like, This is going to be awful, but you have to.
joe rogan
I didn't know about it until after it was over.
People were like, Your friends were kissing on camera.
And I just, I literally couldn't breathe.
I was like, Oh my God.
unidentified
Oh my God.
I go, Show it to me.
Show it to me.
joe rogan
I like made the guys in the truck show me the video of it.
I'm like, Oh my God.
This is so funny.
ari shaffir
There was also like a wrestling moment, or it was.
There was a lot of wrestling in that fight, if I remember right.
It's a long time ago.
But there was a blog saying, From an MMA blog, it's like two bored bearded dudes make out during a UFC fight.
Dude, you give a comic a camera on you and we're like, let's go.
We've got to do something.
joe rogan
Especially like you have six hours.
Six hours.
Six hours of fights.
So there's all this time to think.
And they're not all exciting.
Some of them are fucking boring.
And when they're boring, you've got to come up with different ways to entertain yourself.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What are you going to do?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
It was so fun.
You can see the one that was on it.
So, like, when those fighters are in front of us.
joe rogan
I'm going to fix this.
Like, it wants to work.
ari shaffir
It wants to work.
unidentified
I wonder if this one works.
joe rogan
Those are fun times.
That was back when the UFC was like, no one was watching anyway.
ari shaffir
You could just do whatever you want.
The weigh ins was the best.
We had a weigh in in Florida, and it was just like, only the camps kind of came in.
And the tap out guys, rest in peace.
They'd come in there.
Well, just one rest in peace.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Live well.
But it was just like, you'd be in there.
And I remember once you were like, Hey, Ari, maybe I'll call you up to weigh in.
And you just could.
And be like, you want to go now?
All right.
It was like, there were no real rules then.
It was pretty wild.
joe rogan
No one knew what was going on.
unidentified
Ari Shafir.
joe rogan
And you would just walk out.
Yeah, you could do anything back then.
And that was also a real weigh in.
That was when the guys actually would get on the scale.
Now it's a ceremonial weigh in.
ari shaffir
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Yeah, because now they weigh in in advance because they want to give them more time to recover.
ari shaffir
Oh, right.
joe rogan
The whole thing's gross.
They shouldn't be weighing in.
They shouldn't be cutting weight.
ari shaffir
As a casual fan, it's the most obvious one.
Make them weigh in at the event.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
I mean, we've had long discussions.
I had a discussion recently with Hunter Campbell where we're trying to figure out a way to blow up all the weight classes and make people fight out what their actual weight is.
But you would have to, like, show up in camp, like, you know, get to the exact right weight, weigh them.
ari shaffir
Or a pound or two below for safety.
joe rogan
But it would have to be random.
Like, they couldn't know you were coming.
ari shaffir
Oh, like, the whole way through it has to be at that weight.
joe rogan
Just show up.
What do you weigh?
Get on the scale.
185, bro.
You're supposed to be fighting at 155.
How the fuck are you 185?
ari shaffir
It's dumb because you're not actually.
It's like having field goals decide like an NFL game.
It's like this is not.
This is like a minor part of the sport.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So that's like you're having a 185er fight against a 160 pound.
So you're not actually saying who's best at your class.
joe rogan
In the elite levels, they're all doing it.
So everybody's cheating.
It's sanctioned cheating.
It's not cheating because it's legal.
ari shaffir
But it's rewarding guys who know how to cut better than guys who don't.
And as a casual fan, That's not what we're into.
joe rogan
It's also very biological.
So, some people can cut weight very easily, and some people it's a fucking grind.
And it's way more of a grind for women.
Women hold on to that water weight a lot harder than men do.
So, when a woman has to lose, like a woman has to cut like 20 pounds, yeah, man, they cut weight.
But apparently, it's way more brutal for them.
ari shaffir
Interesting.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's fucking terrible.
They should, they should, it should have never been in there in the first place.
And they should figure out a way to get it.
ari shaffir
What do they do in high school wrestling when people fight at like 112?
That's just your weight, or do you cut weight?
joe rogan
You weigh in the day.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
The way in the day, but it's still, you're still cutting weight.
I weighed, I used to wrestle at 128, and then I wrestled at 128 for a grown man.
ari shaffir
I mean, at high school.
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
And then 134.
And then, because I couldn't really make 128 anymore.
And then when I started fighting in Taekwondo, I fought, my first fights were at 140.
That was when I was like 15, 16.
And then my last fight at 140, I was 17, and I was not 140.
And I was starving myself, and I was cutting a bunch of water weight, and then I would fight dehydrated.
unidentified
Like fighters, I would fight.
joe rogan
But I only did it one year.
I only did it one year, and then I went up to 155, which was much better.
That was easy because I didn't have to cut any weight.
I was way better then.
But that thing where they do in wrestling, you're not getting hit in the head in wrestling, right?
So it will deplete you, and so you have to make a decision like how much am I going to be depleted and want to be the size bully and have a bigger frame and utilize it, but have depleted performance?
Like how much?
How good a shape would I have to be in where that depletion only takes out a certain percentage of my ability?
And so it's like this calculated thing.
Like Kurt Angle, for instance.
Kurt Angle, when he was an Olympic gold medalist, he didn't cut any weight.
And he was a phenomenal wrestler.
Kurt Angle was a fucking monster.
And he was beating guys way bigger than him.
But he had so much energy because he didn't cut weight.
And so he was wrestling against guys that did cut weight.
And he was dominating him.
Yeah, because he was full strength.
ari shaffir
But they were bigger than him.
joe rogan
They were bigger than him.
But he had incredible skill, also strong as fuck anyway, and had no depletion of his resources.
Like his body was working at full capacity.
ari shaffir
It's like Greg Fitzsimmons in the prime.
He would just fight anybody.
unidentified
Greg Fitzsimmons.
ari shaffir
He would just fight anybody.
Oh, tiny little man.
He'd fight anybody.
joe rogan
He got attacked on stage at Stitches.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
The guy got a rush.
joe rogan
Attacked him, and some brawl broke out, and the bouncers got in, they take the guy away, and then Greg gets on the microphone.
unidentified
Didn't even end the show.
joe rogan
Gets on the microphone, and he goes, anybody else want some of this?
ari shaffir
And then he got started laughing.
unidentified
It was great.
He finished his set.
ari shaffir
Wow.
joe rogan
He finished his great composure, kept it together, finished his set.
A fucking fun dude.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But they really should ban weight cutting.
But the only way they're really ever going to be able to do that is to make more weight classes.
There's not enough weight classes.
ari shaffir
And then you'll have the what?
unidentified
I don't understand.
joe rogan
I think boxing has 18 weight classes.
ari shaffir
Yeah, don't you have some who cares weight classes?
joe rogan
Yeah, there's sort of.
ari shaffir
And if you really want to get known, you've got to move up or down to one of the majors.
joe rogan
Well, you know what's weird?
Like, 160 is a huge weight class, 147, welterweight, huge weight class, big, giant fights.
Cruiserweight, which is like between light heavyweight and heavyweight, no one gives a fuck about.
unidentified
Wow.
Why?
joe rogan
It's weird.
It's just weird.
Like, nobody gives a shit about the cruiserweight champion.
Like, Usyk, before he became the heavyweight champion, was the cruiserweight champion, and people cared about him just because he was so skillful, but he had to go up to heavyweight before people cared.
But if he was a light heavyweight, he would have been huge.
unidentified
Be on.
ari shaffir
Shame on.
joe rogan
It's weird.
unidentified
Interesting.
joe rogan
Very weird.
But I think boxing, how many weight classes does boxing have?
Professional boxing.
I want to say there's 18, whereas in the UFC, there's only eight.
It's a big difference.
ari shaffir
It's a big difference.
And you can follow champions better.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But it's also, it's like.
ari shaffir
Even when Mighty Mouse came in, it was like, you have this dominant guy coming in to really launch the weight class.
But people are like, we don't know this weight class.
So we're less interested in you than we should be.
joe rogan
Well, people have a thing about tiny people.
They look at a small guy who's like 5'3 and weighs 125 pounds and they're like, nah, we don't care.
unidentified
17 here.
joe rogan
17.
ari shaffir
Red Ben said the 135ers and 125ers, they should have to come into the octagon on little mini horses and ride around a couple times.
joe rogan
That's so rude.
That's so rude.
What's also interesting is like fly weight women, like Valentina Shevchenko, it's one of the premier weight classes in the women's division.
ari shaffir
Because that's heavy?
joe rogan
For a woman, it's like normal size.
125 is like a normal weight.
It's like a man fighting at 160 or 170.
It's normal.
Weird.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's weird.
But there's not enough weight classes, and they should have fixed that a long time ago.
There's giant gaps, like the gap between 185, which is middleweight, and then 205, which is light heavyweight.
That's crazy.
ari shaffir
It's a big one.
joe rogan
It's a giant leap.
ari shaffir
And then everything else.
joe rogan
Well, not even.
That's what's even stupider.
You get to heavyweight at 265.
That's the cutoff for heavyweight.
So you have to weigh 265 or under.
ari shaffir
That's my favorite weigh-ins because they're still wearing their jeans.
They're like, I'm inside a range.
joe rogan
Yeah, they don't give a fuck.
So ceremonial weigh-ins is what we have now.
So, when someone weighs in now, they've already weighed in in the morning in an official scale in front of doctors and state reps.
ari shaffir
Let me give them a chance to come back again.
joe rogan
Athletic Commission checks them out, and so then they just suck a bunch of water down and electrolytes, and they slowly rehydrate over the four or five hours.
Yeah, they have to do it slowly.
ari shaffir
Science is so crazy behind it.
jamie vernon
The heavyweight division is older than the United States.
Wow, officially 1738.
ari shaffir
Whoa, weighing as much as they want.
jamie vernon
Whoa, is that real?
joe rogan
So, heavyweight was way they weighed 160 plus since the division has no 60 plus.
Yeah, people were tiny.
ari shaffir
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
You know, Rocky Marciano was like one of the great heavyweights of all time.
He weighed 185 pounds.
So, Rocky Marciano, the heavyweight champ of the world, one of the greatest of all time, weighed 15 pounds less than me.
unidentified
Wow.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Isn't that nuts?
ari shaffir
It's so different.
If you ever look back at a fat guy from like Chris Farley types or whatever, and you're like, you're not even, you're just a little big.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's like normal fat.
ari shaffir
Steve Simone body.
joe rogan
Look at these guys back then.
They wore diapers and shit.
Like, what's that?
What are you wearing?
What's that thing around your waist?
What is that?
ari shaffir
It's a wipe of blood.
joe rogan
And they all fought bare knuckle back then, too.
ari shaffir
Quick fights.
joe rogan
Well, they just broke their hands a lot.
They threw a lot of punches to the body back then because they didn't want to break their hands on people's heads.
ari shaffir
That was the biggest defense back then, the Brian Dennehy thing.
Lower your head and make a punch on the head and break.
joe rogan
Just lower your head.
And they all boxed like this, too.
Well, they would throw their knuckles out like that.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Because if you just blast someone, you could blast someone like that if you have gloves on and hand wraps.
ari shaffir
Stockton slap would have gone a long way back then.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
They would have been legendary.
Slapped them.
Yeah.
It's funny how things change and then how they go back to it.
Because now bare knuckle boxing is making a huge comeback.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Seen chess boxing?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
I've seen that.
unidentified
Yeah.
It's ridiculous.
ari shaffir
Be fun.
joe rogan
Beat the shit out of each other and then big chess.
ari shaffir
Big play, five minutes.
joe rogan
If you're a good boxer, like, you have a massive advantage.
The guy just got a concussion.
He doesn't even know what the knight does.
ari shaffir
He's like, you can't move that.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
joe rogan
I wonder whose idea that was.
What kind of fucking psychopath.
ari shaffir
Who wants to combine those things?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It'd have to be people that aren't that good at boxing and aren't that good at chess.
Because if somebody flatlines you and sends you to the hospital, you're not playing chess afterwards.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So it has to be people that kind of suck at boxing.
ari shaffir
Kind of suck at boxing.
joe rogan
Because if you really like Mike Tyson, somebody, you fucking KO them and they have to get carried out in a stretcher.
Well, then you, by default, won the chess as well because they can't even play.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Just dusty boards.
joe rogan
You have to take them to the hospital.
How are they going to play chess?
ari shaffir
I don't even understand the rules there.
jamie vernon
You have to have a minimum of $1,800 in chess to be a competitor.
ari shaffir
What is that?
What's $1,800?
jamie vernon
I would imagine pretty good.
ari shaffir
Is that a score?
What does that mean?
There's scores in chess?
joe rogan
Like a golf handicap.
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's something like that.
ari shaffir
Wow.
joe rogan
So, what is Magnus Carlsen, the guy that was on the podcast?
What does he have?
What's his rating?
unidentified
Let's see.
jamie vernon
I just typed it.
ari shaffir
He plays poker too.
unidentified
Does he?
jamie vernon
He'd be in the top five in the podcast.
Super smart player.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Super smart.
joe rogan
He's one of those dudes you talk to him.
There's some guys you talk to him like, oh, there's a lot working on behind those eyes.
If you were high around that guy, you'd probably get weirded out.
You'd be like, oh, you're an alien.
jamie vernon
He's 2840.
ari shaffir
Wow.
unidentified
Way better.
joe rogan
What is the highest ranked chess player alive?
ari shaffir
Good question, Joe.
unidentified
I think that'd be him.
jamie vernon
That'd be him.
ari shaffir
Oh, really?
jamie vernon
Yeah, he peaked at 2882, the highest in history.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
That is crazy.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
What about that schizo Jew turned Arab, whatever his name is?
unidentified
Which guy?
ari shaffir
The fucking boy.
The boy went schizo.
joe rogan
Schizo Jew turned Arab?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Wasn't there some Bobby Fisher?
Is that what you're talking about?
unidentified
Bobby Fisher, yeah.
I had to translate it.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
He became like very anti Semitic, right?
ari shaffir
I don't know.
jamie vernon
Very close.
2785.
ari shaffir
So Magnus is better than him?
unidentified
Yeah.
jamie vernon
I mean, if Magnus is the best ever.
ari shaffir
Yeah, Magnus is the best ever.
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
He's a fucking super genius.
So, what happened with Bobby Fischer?
jamie vernon
This actually has him rated maybe one point below Magnus's peak, 2881, one year performance, it says.
joe rogan
Bobby Fischer?
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's based off of who you're playing, when you're playing them, and how good they are at the time.
ari shaffir
It's like golf, it's like who's in the tournament.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that happens.
Three Cushion Billiards Rules 00:11:57
joe rogan
Pool has ratings, they have a Fargo rating, and they also do it per game.
There's this guy, he just died recently Chang Jung Lin, and he's this dude from.
From Taiwan, and he played at a thousand.
A thousand was his for one game.
ari shaffir
He couldn't get it.
joe rogan
Not for one game, excuse me, for like one match.
ari shaffir
What would he have to give to you or to me?
joe rogan
Oh, it would be pointless.
ari shaffir
Detroitless.
joe rogan
Just as soon as you.
He never missed.
ari shaffir
That means he played it.
Make a ball and you win.
joe rogan
There's another guy, this guy who's also from Taiwan, Ko Ping Chung, and he played an entire match where he never missed a ball.
He won 11 to nothing against another world class player.
ari shaffir
Who lost a coin flip to start.
joe rogan
Yeah, he lost their lag.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They lag, and I think.
ari shaffir
That's it.
The guy didn't touch the cue.
joe rogan
He broke and left a long shot on the one ball, and the guy missed that, and he never made a ball.
He didn't make one ball.
There was a couple of times.
unidentified
Winner goes first.
ari shaffir
Winner goes first, yeah.
joe rogan
There was a couple of times.
Winner breaks.
So every time he broke, and he was making the one ball inside like every game.
And every time he didn't have a shot, he would just play a lockup safety, and the guy would kick and then leave a shot, and then he would run out again.
He just got in the zone.
So he played at a 1,000 Fargo for the entire match.
That's crazy.
That means he never missed a ball on four inch pockets.
ari shaffir
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Tiny little pockets.
There's people that are like.
ari shaffir
It's amazing how big pool is, too, across the world and billiards, too.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
In Asia, it's huge.
ari shaffir
Asia is huge.
Do you find people with just an overhang just so it doesn't get wet?
And they're all out there playing and just like flip flops and.
joe rogan
Well, we're losing a lot of the top Taiwanese and Chinese players to a game that they play in China now.
Where it's like a snooker table.
It doesn't look like a pool table.
Like the pockets aren't cut the same way.
They're rounded.
But they're playing nine ball and they're playing with like purses for like top purses, like $600,000 for a tournament, $700,000.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
So they're all going over there and playing in that because you can make millions in a year instead of a couple hundred grand, which is like what the best players make in America.
ari shaffir
That's why women were going to fucking Russia to play basketball.
unidentified
All right.
ari shaffir
Until now.
unidentified
Until now.
Well, just don't bring weed.
ari shaffir
I mean, just don't bring weed.
The thing is, like, I think they were all doing it.
joe rogan
I've used basketball a lot, apparently.
I'm not a basketball player, clearly.
But, Lyric.
ari shaffir
You couldn't keep score.
joe rogan
Me and Muggsy Bogue.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
All right.
That's a good reference.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Nice.
But weed, apparently, is phenomenal for basketball players.
Like, they all talk about it.
Like, I've talked to basketball players about weed.
They say, I can play way better when I'm high.
ari shaffir
Well, they had the collective bargaining, not a late one, but like 20 years ago.
And they're like, we can test for drugs.
But they fought back.
They go, not weed.
So, if you get caught with weed, sure, you can suspend us, but you can't test for it.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Because, why?
We're all doing it.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're all doing it, and it helps the game.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, it helps their feel.
It helps pool for sure.
ari shaffir
It helps poker for sure, for sure.
joe rogan
Oh, I'd imagine you read people's tells.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
According to World Snooker Tour figures, more than 24.5 million unique viewers watched the third session of the final alone in China, and during the whole 2025 tournament, it had a cumulative audience of 180 million in national broadcasters.
jamie vernon
Compared to that, That's like an NFL playoff.
ari shaffir
24 million watch the finals of this.
What's, what's, it's like a billion for Super Bowl, right?
Yeah, but like a playoff game.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that's snooker or like the, that's not English.
Call it snooker.
So, snooker is very different, and it's on a 12 foot table.
It's a huge table, and the balls are very small, and they don't have numbers on them.
It's just like red and yellow.
Red, black, pink.
It's mostly red.
There's red that's in the stack, and then you have black, pink, brown, and I think there's another one.
I've never played the game.
I fucked around with it when I was in Scotland.
They had a table, and I was like shooting balls on it.
It's interesting.
ari shaffir
In Columbia, they all play this thing, and it's three cushion billiards.
Yeah, and they take their cue and move a thing over, like a scorer over, and they kick.
Play and move one over.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And they're all playing it and they're just kind of casual bars, but it's like 20 tables and they're everywhere.
joe rogan
And this is where there's no holes in the table, right?
Yeah.
That's called three cushion billiards.
ari shaffir
I had to sit there and watch and drive.
joe rogan
It's a fun game.
I don't know how to play it really well.
ari shaffir
Strategy.
joe rogan
It's hella strategy.
It's really understanding angles.
It's understanding how to kick and how to, like, when I say kick, what I mean is, like, go off a rail and hit another rail and then collide with the ball.
So three cushion billiards is you have three balls on the table.
That's it.
And so you have the whole table.
It's like a big ass pool table, but there's no pockets.
And you have three balls.
And so what you have to do is hit one ball and then go three rails, at least three cushions, and then hit the second ball.
ari shaffir
Then another ball.
unidentified
Yes.
Wow.
joe rogan
But also put yourself in a position where then you can make another shot afterwards.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
Or play a safety.
joe rogan
It's a complicated game and it's different because it's a lot of its spin.
And the harder you hit it, the shorter the angle is.
And if you hit it with English, it spins out wider or shorter depending upon what you're trying to do with it.
But if you get good at it, it really will help your pool game because you'll really have a much more deep understanding of how the ball moves around the table with different speed and side spin and all that kind of shit.
I've only fucked around with it though, and not in a long time.
We had a table at Executive Billiards in White Plains.
We used to have a 1 3 cushion table they would fuck around on.
ari shaffir
For laughs?
joe rogan
I couldn't do it.
I want to see the balls go away.
ari shaffir
It's nice.
joe rogan
I want to see when I'm putting a fireball in, I want to see it go down that hole.
unidentified
Bye bye.
joe rogan
I want to clear it out.
I don't want balls lingering, just staring at me like, do it again.
unidentified
Do it again.
Do it again.
I'm still here.
Do it again.
ari shaffir
It's funny that that became a bar sport.
It's really just darts and that became the sports at bars.
joe rogan
Sure.
ari shaffir
And the table takes up a lot more space.
joe rogan
The dartboard, yeah.
ari shaffir
Dartboard, sure, but the pool table, you need like some actual space.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And that space is totally.
Not usable other than that.
That's where it is, unless a girl's dancing on it.
ari shaffir
I went to a pool hall slash samba place in somewhere in Brazil.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Pool and samba?
ari shaffir
Yeah, it's like daily, it's a pool hall, but then at night it turns into samba and the highest level guys come in, their capital and their music capital.
It's so fun, but these guys don't stop playing pool.
And so everyone's dancing, it's so packed and crowded, excuse me.
And you're like, the etiquette is, you just know when you're at a bar, you're like, all right, all right.
But you want to be like, bro, It's packed.
You can't play pool here.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't play pool there.
ari shaffir
But they were doing it.
joe rogan
Well, there's a place in the Bronx that is this Dominican pool room where they gamble big money, big money, and they stream some of the matches on YouTube.
And it's fucking bananas because people are just talking constantly.
They're yelling at each other in Spanish.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
You know, Dominican people are having fun.
ari shaffir
They're having fun.
joe rogan
There's all these Spanish speaking, and they're yelling, and they're all very flamboyant and having a good time.
And they get people to go over there and play like, Pros and they get so rattled because the environment.
ari shaffir
They're not used to that.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
Wow.
Play on this turf.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Not only that, but the guys can play and they're accustomed to that culture.
So, they're accustomed to all the yelling and all the craziness and guys standing in front of the hole while you're shooting at it, which is a no no in regular clubs.
ari shaffir
Oh, that's like high school.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Do it then.
Do it.
joe rogan
They don't do it that bad.
It's not that bad, but there's plenty of guys moving around the table.
They're all talking.
Everyone's yelling.
The tables next to you are yelling.
They don't care if you're betting $30,000 on a set.
ari shaffir
Dominicans are having so much fun, they're allowed to use the N word.
Blacks are like, you know what?
They kind of rule.
Give it to them.
Just a minute.
joe rogan
It's dark enough.
Let it go.
unidentified
Let it go.
joe rogan
But it's really interesting because I've watched guys who are like top pros go over there and fucking lose to guys that they're not supposed to lose to.
And the reason why they're losing is because they're just rattled by the environment.
And so, what a lot of these guys will do, they'll put AirPods on.
So, they'll put AirPods in with the noise canceling.
So, to try to take away some of the fucking sound and just focus.
But you're really going to be playing at like 60% of your capacity because there's just too much chaos going around.
If you play in a real, legit pool tournament, everything's.
Dead quiet while the guy's down on the ball.
And then they clap when someone makes the ball, and then he moves to the next shot, they stop clapping.
ari shaffir
Yeah, too respectful.
unidentified
Yes.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
But not in these fucking pools.
And these guys are playing for big money.
They're playing for tens of thousands of dollars, and they're just getting sharked and rattled.
ari shaffir
Still in their blood.
joe rogan
I watch guys like, I watched this guy, Oscar Dominguez, play this dude.
Oscar's a top pro.
He was on the Moscone Cup.
He was on the Moscone team for the U.S.
And he was over there playing this dude.
I was like, how did they get him to go there?
unidentified
Wow.
Wow.
ari shaffir
I'm talking to my friend Jeremy Jones.
It's like the guys who do Burning Man.
The DJ's like, I'll play for free.
It's just like, it's a rep thing.
joe rogan
Well, I don't think it's that.
I think it's the money.
Well, Oscar loves to gamble, and he's going to a place where someone's willing to gamble him for a lot of money.
ari shaffir
Wait, you say this thing about Jones?
I'm going to listen while I go to piss.
unidentified
Go piss.
Go piss.
We'll pause.
We'll pause.
joe rogan
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not going to stay the whole thing.
We'll pause.
ari shaffir
We're back, folks.
joe rogan
We're back.
So, what I was saying is my friend Jeremy Jones, who was a U.S. Open champion, he said he went to that pool hall once, and he said, I'm never going back.
unidentified
Too much.
joe rogan
It's too much.
Too much.
And he's also said that the neighborhood is like.
unidentified
Dang.
joe rogan
Things can go sideways.
It's a neighborhood where, like, hey, you might go there three nights in a row and you have a good time.
Fourth night, four people get shot.
You know what I mean?
ari shaffir
That was always the problem with underground pool, I mean, poker rooms.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
You play at commerce or a place like that's legit, it's fine.
You go underground, like, there's not, there's a guard there.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And you're walking out with a lot of money.
I remember when you were struggling in the early days of comedy when we.
Kind of first met, yeah, and you were making your money by winning pool tournament or poker tournaments, yeah.
You would go to these casinos and make and you would play it like a job, you'd be like super serious.
ari shaffir
I've read books on it, yeah.
The best book of all, there's tells and there's strategy.
The best, my favorite book is this guy, Mike Caro.
It's a book called Mike Caro's Book of Poker Tells.
Um, yeah, I managed to use one of them once in a World Series event.
Um, That if this is the one where it goes, if someone looks at your chips, it's because they have a killer hand and they think those chips are theirs.
And it's just like, you know, when you lie, you look away a little bit.
That's like a tell we all kind of know.
joe rogan
So you look at the chips.
ari shaffir
You look at it just for a second.
You're like, because you're like, those are mine.
You're not worried about your chips because you know your chips are staying.
You got a full house.
You know those are safe.
But you're looking at those like, how much of that can I extract?
So I was throwing a bluff down against a pro at the World Series.
It was like, whatever.
And I was like, I think he must have read this book.
And so I'm banking on that.
So I'm holding my bluff, nothing hand, and I just kind of do a very subtly, just do one little, and he goes, Yeah, right.
He chucked his hand away.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
Yeah, he thought he had me red.
But the best thing about Mike Carroll's poker tells.
joe rogan
I was going to say, You double crossed.
ari shaffir
Double crossed.
I double crossed, Joe.
unidentified
I love that.
Thank you for recognizing that.
joe rogan
I love that.
ari shaffir
I love a double cross.
unidentified
I love that.
joe rogan
That's so cool.
That's the cool thing about poker that it's like a lot of it's bullshit.
You're bullshitting, you know?
ari shaffir
It's how you're bluffing.
The best thing about the poker tales was written in the 70s, and there's a bunch of race based tales.
joe rogan
Really?
Iran, Israel, and October 7th 00:12:02
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which ethnicities?
unidentified
All.
joe rogan
All of them?
ari shaffir
If an older white man re raises you, get out.
That guy doesn't bluff.
He's just trying to play.
You know, his wife died years ago.
unidentified
He's just trying to extend.
ari shaffir
They're like, if you're playing against a Mexican, find out when payday is.
And if it was this Friday, they're bluffing.
They're just throwing in anything.
They just want to play.
They're going to part with their monies.
There was a whole thing on blacks.
I forget exactly what they were saying on that, but it was like very interesting.
joe rogan
What year was this written?
ari shaffir
I think in the 70s.
joe rogan
Interesting.
Back when you could be honest.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And he was like, I don't know.
I was just telling you how to win.
joe rogan
All in the family days.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
You could get away with a lot of like honest observations about different cultures.
unidentified
Oh.
joe rogan
Mike Carroll's Book of Poker Tells.
ari shaffir
Orientals.
joe rogan
Orientals.
ari shaffir
Either very skillful or very luck oriented.
joe rogan
I like it says it now, Asian Americans.
Like, what happened to Oriental?
ari shaffir
What happened to Oriental?
joe rogan
Someone told me that Oriental is like a slur now.
ari shaffir
But it's actually the right word.
unidentified
Is it?
joe rogan
The Orient?
ari shaffir
It's people or goods from the Orient.
You know what the opposite is?
unidentified
What?
ari shaffir
You and I, Occidental.
People or goods from, I guess, not the Orient.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
We're Occidentals?
You know what's also interesting?
It's like Asians.
Asian is so much of the world.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, Asian includes India, which is Asian.
ari shaffir
Nah, if I was president, executive order.
That's no.
No.
That's not who we're talking about.
That's not who we're talking about.
joe rogan
Is it Pakistan in Asia?
unidentified
Yeah, right.
That's Middle East.
Fuck off.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Fuck off.
You know, oh, Israel is also Asia, by the way.
joe rogan
But it's also like the Philippines is Asia.
ari shaffir
That's Asia.
unidentified
But it's.
ari shaffir
I'll give you that.
joe rogan
Okay, but it's way over there.
ari shaffir
It's way over there.
joe rogan
And then you got China, and then you got Japan, and then you got Korea, and South Korea, and North Korea.
ari shaffir
Okay.
Let's be real.
China, Japan are the obvious ones.
unidentified
Yes.
ari shaffir
That's Asia.
joe rogan
Those are the big ones.
ari shaffir
The further you get, the more.
unidentified
Korea.
joe rogan
Korea is also in the gold.
ari shaffir
Korea, okay.
Vietnam, you're still in the gold.
unidentified
Vietnam gets gold.
ari shaffir
Mongolia, I don't know.
unidentified
Hmm.
joe rogan
Well, they're almost Russian.
ari shaffir
Saudi Arabia is Asia.
Fuck off.
We're talking about China and their subsidiaries.
unidentified
Look how big Asia is.
ari shaffir
Cambodia, okay, sure.
All the jungles.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
How many have I been to?
joe rogan
So Russia's technically Asia?
That's Asian Russia.
ari shaffir
Israel is the craziest one.
jamie vernon
Yeah, it would cut off right here because it'd be like European Russia, too.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
So there's Asian Russia.
So that would be Siberia, right?
jamie vernon
Yeah, wait a minute.
ari shaffir
The Maldives or.
joe rogan
But that would be like Mongolia for sure.
Kazakhstan is Asia.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Mongolia.
But a lot of the Kazakhstan guys look Asian.
Like this guy, Shavkat Rokmanov, who fights in the UFC.
ari shaffir
A Mongolian accent is crazy because it really is.
It sounds like half Chinese, half Russian.
You know, they look Chinese speaking like that Russian accent.
joe rogan
Hard people, bro.
Hard people.
Kazakhstan, India, Iran?
Iran is Asia?
ari shaffir
Israel's Asia.
joe rogan
Israel's Asia.
ari shaffir
Israel's the edge.
jamie vernon
Yeah, basically everything that's.
joe rogan
All those people are Oriental.
ari shaffir
Orientals.
Next time I go to Jerusalem, I'm going to call them all Orientals.
joe rogan
Look how close Yemen is to Ethiopia.
It feels like you could swim there.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
We really were motivated.
ari shaffir
Damn.
Yeah, if you want to.
You just go to a pool also.
joe rogan
You don't really have to.
Look where Israel.
No worries.
Look where Israel is.
ari shaffir
Maps are so interesting.
See how they split shit up.
joe rogan
Israel is like, that's what's nuts.
You ever see the border between Egypt and Palestine?
That border is nuts.
ari shaffir
What do you mean?
unidentified
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
It's the most fortified border you've ever seen in your life.
You think the border between Israel and Palestine is rough?
ari shaffir
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
The border between Egypt and Palestine is way harder to get.
ari shaffir
They do not want those people over there.
joe rogan
They do not want those people over there.
You ever seen it?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Fucking rolls of barbed wire.
It's crazy.
Yeah, look at that.
ari shaffir
Does that guy just catch a baby being thrown over?
joe rogan
Click on that one, please.
The one that says the Arab Weekly.
On the top.
Yeah, right there.
Look at that.
Look at that, bro.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
You ain't getting through that.
ari shaffir
What a nice place to stroll for those two guys.
joe rogan
Just a relaxing afternoon near the Gaza wall.
Look at that.
That's crazy.
ari shaffir
Sad times.
joe rogan
Oh, the saddest.
The saddest.
ari shaffir
Peace in the Middle East.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Good luck.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
They're all nuts.
joe rogan
It's even more nuts now.
Look what's happening in Lebanon.
Now they're bombing Lebanon, too.
ari shaffir
Really?
unidentified
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
ari shaffir
Follow any of this?
joe rogan
Israel's bombing the shit out of southern Lebanon.
ari shaffir
Lebanon?
joe rogan
Yeah, I was reading about this.
Ryan Grimm was covering this Lebanon reporter, this reporter in Lebanon that Israel killed.
They followed her with drones.
They bombed a car in front of her.
She ran into an abandoned building, and then they bombed the shit out of the building.
And this took hours.
And all the while, She was contacting, like, whoever runs Lebanon, and they were contacting Israel and saying, Hey, this is a reporter.
And so then they got text messages between, like, this someone from the IDF had been saying to them, We're going to kill you.
And then they got the number from her phone and contacted the person from the IDF.
And they were saying, Hey, she works for Hezbollah, and, you know, fuck you, and you're naive.
It's crazy.
Like, they're just openly killing journalists.
ari shaffir
You know what they did a good job of when I was traveling?
Is they got it more than up here is separating Israel from Jew.
They really were like, we don't have any problem with Jews.
But they would be very staunchly anti Israel.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, if you live in Israel, you have to do military service, right?
So everyone who lives in Israel is a part of the military in their eyes.
Like everyone who lives in Israel has served in the military.
ari shaffir
It's interesting, though.
It's like a lot of those kids and then turned into adults are like very against what they're doing.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
It's like an uncovered, I think, um, Like part of it.
And they're like, yeah, we don't like this.
I mean, half this country or more even didn't vote for Trump, didn't vote for Biden.
So they're like, well, I don't like this.
But then you still have to be pro everything about this thing, even though you cannot like certain things.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
The idea that all Israelis have a single hive mind.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
That's not the case in any country ever.
It's not the same in any crowd, especially a democracy, because Israel's literally the only democracy over there, really.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And they have parliament too.
So there's a lot of choices.
joe rogan
And they're trying to prosecute.
Netanyahu, while all this is going on.
ari shaffir
Who was the Israelis?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, this was one of the things that most people aren't aware of, but that before October 7th, there were hundreds of thousands of people on the streets in Israel protesting Netanyahu.
We talked about it the other day because they were trying to expand, but this was before the war.
unidentified
Right, right.
joe rogan
So they were trying to expand what they can do in terms of like with their constitution.
We talked about it.
What was the exact.
Chami, do you remember?
The exact thing that they were disputing over.
But it was expanding the power that the government has.
And so people were protesting that.
And then all of a sudden, October 7th pops off power.
Yeah.
And then, you know.
ari shaffir
So it happened here at 9 11.
It became like if you say anything bad now, you're like a traitor instead of just like, well, I was already saying they have issues with police overstepping or whatever.
You're like, well, now you can't say that for about three years.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So before October 7th, Israel experienced nine months of massive, sustained protest against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's government, largely driven by opposition to proposed judicial reforms.
These demonstrations included hundreds of thousands of participants accused the right wing coalition of undermining.
Democracy weakening the Supreme Court and attempting to interfere with Netanyahu's ongoing corruption trial.
ari shaffir
Yeah, and so that's the same as here, where it's not about, like, are you pro gay marriage or not, or are you pro, like, peace of Palestine or not.
That's just people taking power.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
And so that goes beyond the right or left and just go, no, no, that's an overstep.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, it's.
ari shaffir
But anyway.
It's fucked.
joe rogan
It's fucked because it's not going to get any better.
unidentified
It's not.
joe rogan
And they've destroyed Gaza.
Gaza is just a wasteland now.
unidentified
I mean.
joe rogan
Someone posted recent video of Gaza, like what it looked like now, like right now.
They sent a drone or something to get video footage of what Gaza looks like.
And it's crazy.
It's crazy.
It looks like they dropped a nuke.
They just did it slowly.
Instead of dropping one nuke, they did thousands of fucking conventional bombs and did the kind of destruction that they did.
ari shaffir
It's interesting if you ask people how it's like polarizing everybody got or polarized, you couldn't just be like, any suffering is wrong.
But, like, I could show you a dead baby, and a lot of people will go, Well, what I gotta know what their last name is first, right?
Before I can tell you if I feel bad or not, right?
Yeah, instead of just like, That's I don't know, clearly, I know that's what's really wrong about it.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's just so dark.
And then, if you talk about like what's happening in Gaza, people say, Well, October 7th shouldn't happen.
Like, okay, you're right, it shouldn't have.
But guess what?
Those kids that live in Gaza didn't do it, so like, well, down their team, it's like, What we did to Iran, what if Iran nukes New York City?
Those kids that live in the Bronx, they had nothing to do with what happened in Iran.
So, like, is that okay?
Like, what are we talking about?
ari shaffir
This is a mess.
joe rogan
It's fucking nuts.
Tribal warfare is fucking bananas that it's still going on.
ari shaffir
Well, I was talking to people when I knew, like, cousins and stuff in the military, and they had just gotten out, and they were like, We're all now, this is before October 7th.
It's a few years before, maybe 2018.
They're like, We're talking now because we have the internet now.
And we're like, This isn't sustainable, and we don't want to keep doing this.
We've got to start figuring out a peace thing.
And then that's all gone now.
joe rogan
It's all gone.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Not only is it all gone, but now that they've started bombing Lebanon, everybody's really terrified because they're like, well, where is this going?
Because they're bombing Christian villages in Lebanon.
And there's video of them destroying these solar panels that these Christian villages have in Lebanon, where they're just plowing over and using tractors to take down these solar panels.
ari shaffir
Part of me goes to like.
joe rogan
This isn't the military.
Like, what are you doing?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
It still goes back to like Wesley Clark, if I got that right.
joe rogan
Yeah, the seven countries.
ari shaffir
The seven countries.
And Iran was on there.
unidentified
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
And we just hadn't gotten there yet.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
But that was always like.
That's not a new thing that was just in the works for a couple decades, just waiting for the timers right.
joe rogan
Yeah, they wanted to do it within five years, so it took 25.
ari shaffir
It took long.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The Wesley Clark thing is funny because, you know, Dave Smith had a debate with Coleman Hughes about that.
And Coleman Hughes is like, but Wesley Clark never said he read the memo.
He said someone told him about the memo.
He goes, any historian would not even be able to use that.
ari shaffir
Oh, I thought they said they had.
joe rogan
I don't know.
unidentified
Yeah, I don't know.
joe rogan
I don't think so.
I think the way Coleman was describing it.
But the reality is, okay, yeah, you might be right.
Maybe because he hadn't read it, any historian would not have been able to use it in the book.
But the fact that it all took place exactly how the memo stated, that seems relevant.
ari shaffir
And that came out before.
So, you're like, hey, we're going to Iran soon.
And then it's like, they did.
Syria, they kept trying.
Syria was the best to me because when Obama's doing it, and I don't care who's in charge, they're all doing the same shit to me.
But they go, we got to go in there to overthrow this dictator.
And then people would just come off the whole Middle Eastern war.
Like, no, we're done.
And so they couldn't justify it.
And then they go, hey, this is an insurgent group and they're going to get out of hand.
We got to go in and control them.
And then it's like, wait, you want to go fight the guy who was fighting against Assad?
And then that ended.
And then they go, no, we got to take down Assad.
And it's like, you really seem like you guys want to go into Syria.
John Hopkins and Strange Places 00:04:19
ari shaffir
Looking for any sort of excuse.
joe rogan
It's all crazy.
ari shaffir
Politics is stupid.
Let's move on.
unidentified
It's sissy.
ari shaffir
It's like a control group.
joe rogan
It is gross.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, your perspective is probably the healthiest.
Stay out of it.
ari shaffir
Stay out of it.
unidentified
Leave me alone.
joe rogan
Fuck you.
Live my life.
But the thing is, like, some of it does affect your life, like this psychedelic drugs thing.
unidentified
Okay.
ari shaffir
So, in that moment where you got fucking, maybe, hopefully, shrooms legalized, you know, in an ideal world, is a, Very rare case of someone who can actually accomplish change.
And you're at a higher level than most people in terms of influence, both personally and like broadly.
joe rogan
But also the individual, like him.
Like most people wouldn't do it that way.
Like if I was friends with Obama, there's not a fucking chance in hell I could have gone to Obama and said, hey dude, you know what would be cool?
If you got Ibogaine legalized, it would keep all these people that are addicted to it.
He could have done that decades ago.
Everyone could have done that.
They've known about Ibogaine forever.
And they've also known about the pill crisis forever.
unidentified
So.
joe rogan
All this stuff was common knowledge amongst plenty of people.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, John Hopkins has been doing these studies.
ari shaffir
John Hopkins has a playlist for shrooms and MDMA.
They make a playlist for you.
unidentified
They do?
ari shaffir
That you can, like, this is a good MDMA or shrooms.
I forget which one.
Shrooms playlist.
joe rogan
Is it, like, John Hopkins, like, sanctioned it or someone who.
ari shaffir
Yeah, no, someone who works there.
unidentified
No, no, no.
ari shaffir
A professor or something like that in the research they're doing.
In the psilocybin research.
It was all psilocybin, right?
And not.
joe rogan
I think, yeah.
John Hopkins was all psilocybin.
ari shaffir
Yeah, they all kind of led the way.
They have a playlist you can get.
It's on Spotify.
joe rogan
People have been aware of it for so long.
Inside the John Hopkins psilocybin playlist.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
This is 2020.
ari shaffir
Dude, I'm always amazed when my memory turns out to not be false.
joe rogan
Look at that guy.
He looks like he's tripping.
He looks like he trips.
He's like an old dude's trip balls.
unidentified
Just hug people.
joe rogan
Look at his smile.
unidentified
Bill Richards.
joe rogan
That guy's not working for an insurance company.
ari shaffir
Loosen his tie.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bill Richards looks like he's tripped.
Psychologist and researcher.
They should put researcher in quotes.
ari shaffir
Psychologist, researcher, and former deadhead.
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think of it as a nonverbal support system, sort of like a net for a trapeze artist.
If all's going well, you're not even aware the net is there.
You don't even hear the music.
But if you start getting anxious or if you need it, it's immediately there to provide a structure.
Oh, Bill, you trip hard.
ari shaffir
When I was doing ayahuasca, this guy was like, this shaman guy was like beating a drum very lightly.
And when you come out of it, whatever, the slow, like, boom, boom, it would kind of like pull you back into it.
unidentified
Mm hmm.
joe rogan
Mmm, seven hour and 40 minute playlist.
Boy, those guys go, oh, I'll make sure.
unidentified
Put that on the roof.
joe rogan
Symphony of sorrowful songs.
Hey, don't do that.
Don't give me sorrowful songs while I'm tripping.
ari shaffir
You're trying to have a bad time?
unidentified
Yeah, I want to hear.
I want to hear big emotions.
ari shaffir
It's too much for grandmother's death.
unidentified
No, not grandma.
ari shaffir
People always ask me about mushrooms.
Like, is it going to be this emotional, like, spiritual thing?
I'm like, that gets hyped more.
You're going to laugh with your friends.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
That's the main thing.
joe rogan
There's going to be, I mean, it depends on the dose, right?
Like a heavy dose will bring you to a very strange place.
ari shaffir
Dude, I had a.
This is going to be the best mushroom trip of all time on this trip.
joe rogan
Yeah?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Of all time.
ari shaffir
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe, maybe the first one.
joe rogan
The Muhammad Ali of mushroom chips.
ari shaffir
Yeah, and it wasn't like it was crazy hard.
It was just, they were fresh.
And it was just like the thoughts, and it was just in places where nobody really gave a fuck.
So you didn't feel like you were like a drug addict.
And just like, yeah, just seeing everything so clear.
Yeah, mushrooms fucking rule.
You just see everything so clear.
It kills the you in your brain, it kills the bullshit part.
Yeah, and so you go, look at this behavior.
And it's the same as analyzing someone else's behavior or your own.
There's the same.
joe rogan
That's a part of one of the problems that comes with living a stressful life is you get really wrapped up in yourself.
Like you're managing yourself, you're managing your thoughts, you're managing your whatever you're trying to do.
And then you think so much about you that a thing like that can take you out of that and you go, oh, what am I wasting my thoughts on this for?
Why am I wasting my energy on this?
It's so pointless.
It's not helping me at all.
Holocaust Numbers and Behavior 00:02:20
ari shaffir
And you see people, I saw my father for like who he really is now, just like a loving, caring granddad.
And they were like, oh, what a fucking cool guy that I always saw as this guy I grew up with.
And then just like, man.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And just like realizing, like, I'm doing the same stuff he did, like going, you know, starting a new life.
He did the same shit coming to America.
And it's like, wow, what a.
Look at it separately from your father.
Like, that's a cool guy.
joe rogan
You talked about having your father come on this podcast to talk about his experience as a Holocaust survivor.
ari shaffir
He would.
joe rogan
How old is he now?
ari shaffir
He's about to be 90.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
Still with it, though.
He's not like a feeble.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Would he do it?
ari shaffir
He would do it.
He loves getting the word out.
joe rogan
How old was he when he was in the camps?
unidentified
Young.
ari shaffir
Single digits.
Wow.
And maybe up to, I think maybe released at 12.
Yeah, he would do it.
He would love it because he works at the Holocaust Memorial as a docent or something.
joe rogan
He has a tattoo and everything.
Does he have a tattoo?
ari shaffir
I don't think so.
unidentified
No.
ari shaffir
He wasn't in a death camp, he was in a work camp.
I believe, this is all, I believe my grandfather, his dad was in.
Was liberated from a death camp.
But yeah, you should talk to him.
He would actually love it.
He loved getting the word out.
I've seen him make speeches before, and there's all these inner city kids from like Kansas City, you know, and then when they hear him talk, it's just this moment you realize, like, oh, this isn't a story.
This is like.
joe rogan
His life.
ari shaffir
Yeah, it's a real thing.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Like Attila the Hun, you're like, that seems like a fictional character.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Because they're so removed from it, and this is just at the borderline of that.
Dude, he would.
Yeah, you should do it.
joe rogan
I would do it.
I'd love to have him on.
Talk to him.
It's a weird time with.
It's a weird time.
With.
Anything that has anything to do with people being Jewish because they conflate Jewish people with the Israeli government, the Netanyahu government, and what they're doing in Gaza and what they're doing all the other places.
And it's also, it's like, there's a weird time now where people are enjoying questioning the numbers of people that died in the Holocaust.
ari shaffir
It's an internet retarded, just kind of like.
joe rogan
But there is some weirdness to it.
And one of the weirdness to it is like there's some photos of Auschwitz and a lot of these other camps that they took after the camps were liberated and they had people.
Go there, and they took photos of them, like pretending that these people were at the camps.
Carved Stones and Attila the Hun 00:15:37
joe rogan
And they weren't.
They were done after the fact.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But there's also tons of people.
It's like, what are you hoping for?
ari shaffir
It was only 1 million?
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So that's okay somehow?
You want to justify it in your head?
joe rogan
Yeah, that's where it's weird.
ari shaffir
I don't know.
If it was 600 people, I'd be like, ugh.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Well, it's clearly there was a lot of people.
I don't know what the number is.
But if it was 6 million or if it was 1 million or 3 million, It's like to catch people, like, no, no, you guys said it was six.
Like, they're also in the 1930s and 40s.
ari shaffir
So it's like, I don't know how to, and we're guessing.
We don't have the wherewithal.
And you ask somebody in the Holocaust, they go, well, I was only in my one camp.
I can't tell you what was going on in Bergen-Belsen.
joe rogan
But there's people that are like equally sure that it was six million.
And then there's people that are equally sure that it was like 300,000 or 600,000 or whatever the fuck they think it was.
And it's like this weird argument back and forth.
ari shaffir
I mean, you have to see how many Jews were in Europe before and after.
joe rogan
Right.
ari shaffir
And there should be more.
It's funny when you see, like, if you have a stat like that, like separated from this, like in Peru, we were hiking to Machu Picchu.
Machu Picchu.
Me and O'Neill.
Oh, we got to talk about that.
And they're like, it's fucking pouring rain.
And everybody there, they're not liberal or conservative.
They just go, it's been raining earlier than it should be.
And they don't know about the word climate change.
They just know we're told November 1st is when you plant.
After that, you're in a risk.
Now, this is mid October, and I don't know what's up.
joe rogan
Well, there's going to be climate change whether human beings are here or not.
That's the reality of the Earth.
The Earth's temperature and climate has never been static.
And the real problem with climate change is not recognizing that human beings are having an adverse effect on the planet, because we certainly are in terms of pollution and particulate release.
People like Al Gore and a lot of these fucking greenies, they're profiting off of this concept of climate change and then also using it to clamp down on people's rights.
ari shaffir
There's that too.
Like we talked about, people taking money from a good cause.
So it's like, for every good thing, they'll be like, somebody's going to misuse it.
joe rogan
100%.
ari shaffir
So everything gets conflated.
joe rogan
But then it becomes a thing where, like, you know, when I had Bernie Sanders on the podcast, he was like talking about it.
And I said to him, I go, problem with climate change is not just.
That the climate is changing because it always has, but that people are having an effect on it because they definitely are.
But it's that there's a lot of money in this whole concept of climate change.
ari shaffir
Fake recycling that was never done.
joe rogan
Fake ground landfills.
And then all landfills.
ari shaffir
But it's better than nothing.
No, it's equal to nothing.
joe rogan
Well, it's not only that, but you fucking made people feel like they were doing good by throwing their fucking water bottles into the thing.
ari shaffir
It's just, it's all kind of crazy, but.
unidentified
We're gross.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
People are gross.
ari shaffir
But it was cool to see people's perspectives that were like away from political.
And just their observations about stuff.
joe rogan
They recognize that things change.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like Sub Saharan Africa used to be lush greenlands.
I mean, they find whale bones in Sub Saharan Africa in the desert.
In the desert, they find whale skeletons in the desert way before there were cars.
unidentified
Right.
Okay.
joe rogan
Way before there were plastic and power plants.
So the Earth's climate has never been static.
But the Machu Picchu thing is.
I really want to go there.
My friend Luke Caverns, he's been on the podcast before.
He's studied a ton of stuff.
ari shaffir
Tom's been three times.
joe rogan
Has he really?
ari shaffir
But as a kid, that's what I meant.
joe rogan
Oh, his family's friends.
ari shaffir
Yeah, so they're like, yeah, it's a one hour flight from Lima and then just take the train.
But like, yeah, it's pretty wild.
So you're saying it wasn't even the Aztecs?
Is that what you told me?
joe rogan
Well, that's the Incas.
ari shaffir
Incas, Incas, Incas.
joe rogan
Yeah, it wasn't.
They don't think it was.
They think the initial monolithic structures or megalithic structures were an earlier, previously unknown civilization.
Because the size and scope of their structures, the way they build it, and Graham Hancock has gone over this as well, is so much different than the stuff that's on top of it.
So, what happens is you have this old stuff that's enormous stones that are cut like jigsaws, right?
And almost like it's melted, like the way it looks.
ari shaffir
You can't put a piece of paper through it after 200 years of breakdowns.
joe rogan
You see, it's way more than 200 years.
It's thousands of years.
But the thing that's really nutty about it is that design is because when they have earthquakes, That way, it won't fall off.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
It disperses the energy better as opposed to just stacking stuff on top of each other.
That stuff falls.
But when it's all interlocked in these weird forms, like that shit.
ari shaffir
That, yeah.
So Che Guevara talks about a little bit where he goes, So Cusco is the gem of South America.
It was the border of the Andes where people would come in and do trade and everything.
And you see this, and the Christians would come in, take over, and build facades on it and put a cross on top to be like, Look what we did.
We're more dominant than these people.
And then an earthquake could come, facade would fall, and this would just remain.
joe rogan
It just remains.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over again.
ari shaffir
These aren't even squares.
Look at that.
It's like Tetris.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's so cool.
And that was on purpose.
They did that because that's what would survive.
But if you look at the stuff above it, that's the stuff that the Incas made.
So the Incas made this stuff.
It's all just stacked.
It's not as sophisticated and also not as large because they didn't have the technology.
Whatever the fuck these people had that was enabled.
unidentified
Look how big that rock is.
It's huge.
joe rogan
I mean, hundreds and thousands of tons.
I mean, these things are fucking enormous.
The really crazy one is the Lebanon ones.
In Lebanon.
ari shaffir
I've been there.
Wait, have you?
I'm Jordan.
Jordan, I'm talking about.
joe rogan
So, in Lebanon, they have these massive stones.
What are they called, Jamie?
The Trilithon stones?
So, there are these stones that are like more than a thousand tons, and they're like several meters above the ground, placed.
And then on top of them, you have these Roman structures.
ari shaffir
Oh, right.
joe rogan
So, if you see like there, like that click where you had your cursor?
Yeah.
Look at the size of that guy.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
And look at the size of that stone.
And then you see the stuff on top of it is smaller.
It's not as sophisticated.
And then you had the Romans.
Now, the thing about the Romans is, Romans had meticulous record keeping.
And they talked about all the construction of all the different things they had.
They don't even mention those stones.
ari shaffir
So, what's that?
joe rogan
They don't mention how they mean.
No, I don't think it was them.
I think it was a previous civilization.
Look at that fucking thing.
ari shaffir
Oh, bro.
I'm about to.
You know Nazca lines?
unidentified
Yes.
ari shaffir
Okay.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
I saw them.
unidentified
Oh, did you?
ari shaffir
Yeah, I flew over them.
joe rogan
Bro, how weird is that?
ari shaffir
They're so big.
The pictures won't do it justice because you'll see like a road.
They didn't know because from the ground level, you can't see any of it.
And so they just build these roads through the desert.
And so you can see a car sometimes, like so, for perspective.
And you're like, it's this dot on this giant monkey in the middle of the desert.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
For however many hundreds of years.
joe rogan
Yeah, they don't even know how long.
ari shaffir
They're crazy.
joe rogan
Weird.
ari shaffir
And they're all like signals to something.
There's all these theories on what it is.
unidentified
They're all in the sky.
joe rogan
You have to see them from above.
ari shaffir
You can only see them from above.
joe rogan
That's nuts.
ari shaffir
Pilots would go over there, and then somebody's like, what's that?
I go, oh, yeah, we don't know.
We just kind of go over.
joe rogan
Well, they've found a bunch of them now because of AI.
You know, they've like scanned the areas and found a bunch of previously undiscovered NASCA lines.
unidentified
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
joe rogan
And the weird thing about it is that's also the place where they find these people with elongated skulls.
They find like these weird skulls that have additional capacity.
So they have like 30% more capacity and they don't have the same lines in their skulls that we have.
Like when we're babies, you know, we have these, what are they called?
Sagittal.
I forget what the lines are called.
jamie vernon
Sagittal crest.
joe rogan
Sagittal crest.
These lines that we have in our skull.
You know, like your skull's not just one piece, right?
It's like there's a bunch of pieces in there.
ari shaffir
The anchors, you can tie them off so they get longer as a sign of like.
joe rogan
Yeah, but some of these skulls don't.
Have the same structure as ours.
They're human skulls, but they're longer.
They have more capacity, 30% larger capacity, and they don't have those lines that we have.
So it's like, what was that?
Were there different kinds of humans back then?
unidentified
Flying around?
joe rogan
Were they flying around and making these fucking structures?
Were they responsible for Soxehuaman and Machu Picchu and all these other places?
And they just died off, and all we have left is like some skulls that we can't totally explain.
ari shaffir
We don't have the means to explain it yet.
joe rogan
Because if it was 20,000 years ago or 30,000 years ago or whatever it was that these people were ruling back then, what would be left?
Fucking nothing.
unidentified
Nothing.
Very little.
ari shaffir
I mean, you look at Ankar Wat where it's like, that's crazy.
Yeah, if you didn't see it, it's shocking any of it remained.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, Ankar Wat's crazy.
And how about that other one in India where the entire temple's carved out of one stone?
ari shaffir
Or the one in Jordan.
Let's see.
Where's the fucking.
What does those play?
The Indiana Jones one.
unidentified
Mm hmm.
ari shaffir
What's that called?
That's where I went with my brother.
joe rogan
Yeah, what is that called?
ari shaffir
See, what is it, Jimmy?
Petra.
It's nuts.
You come through this canyon and it's just in a mountain.
A giant three story temple that is just carved out of the mountain.
It wasn't added to.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And where's the stone?
Where'd you put the stones?
What'd you do?
ari shaffir
That view coming out of the middle one, coming out of that cavern and seeing it after about an hour hike.
That's crazy.
You have to see a human.
See how small that person is in the middle?
joe rogan
That is so crazy.
ari shaffir
So, like, what?
joe rogan
Right.
Have you ever heard of Darren Kuyu?
ari shaffir
No.
joe rogan
In Turkey?
This is crazy.
You want to hear this one?
ari shaffir
It's a place or a person?
joe rogan
It's a place.
So I think they found this because someone was doing like construction on a house.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they found a path.
Oh, so this is what it was.
So a guy kept losing his chickens.
They would go through a hole and they would never come out.
So this guy was like, well, where the fuck are these chickens going?
So they broke down the wall to figure out where the chickens go.
And they found an underground city that can hold 20,000 people.
ari shaffir
Turkey?
joe rogan
With many, many levels.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Like many levels deep into the ground.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
It's fucking bananas.
unidentified
It's cool.
You're a little bit.
Wow.
Yeah, it's an anthill.
joe rogan
I watched a documentary.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Like, you see the way where you.
Could you please go back to that one image with the houses?
Yeah, like that.
Like, so this guy.
It was like behind a fucking wall in the house.
So these chickens would go into the hole and they would just disappear.
So it's like, where's my fucking chickens?
So the guy starts digging around to try to figure out where the chickens go and they found this.
And I want to say they found this in like the 20th century.
jamie vernon
I think it was the 20s I just saw.
joe rogan
1920s?
jamie vernon
Like 29, maybe?
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
So they forgot about it?
joe rogan
Nobody knew about it.
Nobody knew who made it.
There was no record of it.
ari shaffir
And it's so big.
joe rogan
It can house 20,000 people in there.
ari shaffir
What was it?
joe rogan
No one knows.
No one knows when.
No one knows who.
No one knows nothing.
There's other ones they found in China.
They found this fucking insane one in China that also has no records.
It's enormous, like enormous caverns with giant columns.
It's all carved out of the stone.
They moved millions of tons of rocks out of there.
No record.
No one knows where the stone went.
ari shaffir
I'm staying with the Lacondans, Mayans, whatever.
And we were on a hike, and there was this little, like, abandoned temple just the size of this room.
And so the guide was like, So now there's a tunnel in here to, like, the main temple.
It's about a mile and a half away.
And there's a tunnel where you can go through it.
It takes a couple hours to walk.
unidentified
Fuck off.
ari shaffir
And he goes, I did it with my brother once.
He goes, I'll never go back.
It's so frightening.
And there's fucking pumas around, and you don't know.
joe rogan
Pumas in the tunnel?
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You're like, you can't see shit.
He goes, It's a bad place, but it's this long underground tunnel that was made however long ago.
What the fuck?
joe rogan
This is the one in China.
jamie vernon
We have one of the caves.
joe rogan
So this is one of these caves in China.
By the way, no record.
No historical record of when it was created or who created it.
And this is another one that they found.
In 1992, they found it.
Four farmers and Long Yu found the caves and they drained the water from five small ponds in their village.
The ponds turned out to be five large man made caverns.
Further investigation revealed 19 more caverns nearby.
They've been determined to be more than 2,000 years old and their construction is not recorded in any historical documents.
Like, look how crazy.
Please show some of those images.
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's the only one on this page.
joe rogan
Fucking bananas.
So they're just guessing that it's 2,000 years old.
They don't know.
ari shaffir
Right, right.
They're just like, what's the story?
unidentified
Because there's no record.
joe rogan
There's no record of it.
But it's bananas.
And they've also, those carvings they think are post.
ari shaffir
Later people.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Post discovery.
ari shaffir
That's their way of doing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Because you see how, like, those lines on the walls?
That's how everything looks.
It's just those carved straight lines.
And it looks like the other stuff was, like, more modern that they carved.
ari shaffir
You think those lines are so that the erosion wouldn't hurt it as much?
joe rogan
I don't know.
I mean, that might have been how they did it.
They might have had some sort of a device that they carved the stone out with.
But the thing is, it's like.
unidentified
Where's this?
ari shaffir
Where's this on a map?
Show me where Longue is on a map.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
I want to visit a lot of China.
There's a lot of places in there that I'm like, don't know about.
joe rogan
China's a big ass place.
ari shaffir
Back out, back out.
China's so big.
joe rogan
Longyu Caverns.
ari shaffir
Keep going back.
Keep going back.
Context.
unidentified
Oh my God.
ari shaffir
That's pretty deep in there.
joe rogan
Good luck.
It's near Wuhan.
unidentified
Look.
joe rogan
Take a train to Wuhan.
Catch a bug.
ari shaffir
Yeah, go eat some armadillo.
joe rogan
Pangolin.
ari shaffir
Pangolin.
That's how you got leprosy, eating armadillo and pangolin.
You're really not supposed to eat those things.
joe rogan
Go back to the images, please.
The images are nuts, man.
It's like, what were these people doing?
Like, why?
Who made this?
ari shaffir
I love standing in a place like that and just like you just instantly get connected to the history of it.
joe rogan
Could you imagine it's 1992 and you're just draining a pond?
You're a farmer.
And then you drain the pond and you go, oh, there's a cave in here.
unidentified
Open to find some nickels.
joe rogan
And you go and you see this shit.
And no one knows who made it.
And China, again, China has extensive historical records because China has existed for thousands.
Thousands and thousands of years.
It's one of the few countries that's essentially been just China for 5,000 plus years.
Bananas, man.
ari shaffir
Aquarium for real dragons.
unidentified
Somewhere.
joe rogan
Well, I mean, who made it and how did they make it?
Like, how did they do that?
ari shaffir
For what?
unidentified
For what purpose?
joe rogan
How did they make that 2,000 plus years?
And by saying 2,000, it's like you're just.
ari shaffir
2,000 means.
So there's a Joan Didion piece on El Salvador.
From a long time ago.
And she goes, they don't use numbers the way we use numbers.
They say 50, it means a bunch.
unidentified
Oh, look.
joe rogan
It's like 72 virgins.
ari shaffir
Yeah, I mean, just a bunch.
unidentified
There's a lot of them.
ari shaffir
There's a lot of them.
joe rogan
Like, bro, he went there a million times.
ari shaffir
Tons of, tons of, like, what is a ton?
joe rogan
Oh, bro, I smoke tons of joints.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, that's not possible.
ari shaffir
Break it down.
joe rogan
So, Perplexity, our AI sponsor, says, no one knows for certain who created the Longue Caves.
Ancient Pottery and Mayan Ecosystems 00:02:57
joe rogan
Archaeologists agree they are man made and probably over 2,000 years old, but there's no record of their builders or patrons.
That's crazy, dude.
That is so crazy.
Oh, pottery and other finds inside date roughly to the late Qin or Western Han period around 200 BCE, suggesting they were excavated at or before that time.
But the thing is that pottery could have been someone who just left pottery later.
It's like if you leave behind a cell phone in Egypt and 5,000 years from now, people say, oh, well, this is an iPhone 16.
This must be from.
ari shaffir
But that means it has to be at least that old.
unidentified
Or older.
joe rogan
At least that old or older.
So it's at least 2,000 plus years old.
But how crazy is it that there's no known records?
ari shaffir
Should go in quick and just bury some like shit from a long time ago, get some artifacts and just leave it in there.
joe rogan
How much shit like that is still out there in other parts of the world where they don't know about it?
unidentified
Well, it's like no one's done that.
ari shaffir
That Mayan guy said, he was like, Yeah, no one knows.
He goes, Me and my friends know about it.
unidentified
Fuck.
ari shaffir
So it's just like everywhere.
joe rogan
Well, we were talking about the Aztecs, about how the Aztecs, and this is another thing that I found out through Perplexity when I was just writing this thing about Mexico and about how crazy the history of Mexico is, and you know, that the Spaniards came over with essentially like 12 muskets and took over the whole country.
But When the Aztecs were living in these temples, they didn't build them.
They called them the place where the gods were born.
So they found them.
So there's a previous civilization like Teo Tetlan and all these other beautiful pyramids and temples.
They don't know who fucking made them, man.
So they don't know who made them.
jamie vernon
That cave in Vietnam was found in 1991.
joe rogan
Oh, I saw the 60 Minutes thing on that.
Did you see that?
ari shaffir
Look at that.
joe rogan
That dude from 60 Minutes, like a dude and a lady from 60 Minutes went and visited this cave.
And I was like, that looks haunted as fuck.
That's one cool thing about something like 60 Minutes that they would do something like that because it's a long journey.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
You have to fly in, drive a long distance, then hike a long distance.
ari shaffir
Some of these places aren't anything, nothing's there.
joe rogan
You can fit skyscrapers inside of these caves.
They have their own ecosystems.
Like there's clouds in there.
It probably fucking rains inside the cave.
ari shaffir
There's insects, there's animals that live in these caves that have over time lost their ability to see because they didn't need it.
So, their hearing goes up, their sight goes down.
There's bugs in Thailand and Sapong and places like that where it's like, oh, yeah, these animals only exist here.
joe rogan
They hear you breathe.
jamie vernon
There's a salamander in Barton Creek Springs.
ari shaffir
Yeah, a special salamander.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
It only lives there?
jamie vernon
It's a hippie salamander that got mixed with weird people swimming in the creek.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
ari shaffir
They survive on chicks with arm hair.
It's only able to survive here.
joe rogan
Hippie menstrual cycles.
Yeah, I was doing Bottom of the Barrel last night and somebody brought up that there's nude beaches at Lake Travis.
Blind Cave Animals and Rain 00:03:35
joe rogan
And I'm like, what is it like?
unidentified
And they're like, Martin Springs.
No, no, no.
ari shaffir
Martin's topless.
jamie vernon
You know, when you take a, well, maybe, but yeah.
unidentified
Is it?
jamie vernon
When you take one of those boat rides out, chicks.
unidentified
They show the.
ari shaffir
Bro, it's nice.
unidentified
Noise?
Yeah.
Noise?
ari shaffir
It's nice.
unidentified
Hippie tits?
ari shaffir
Hippie.
Some of them are gross hippie tits, but some of them are like real tits, dude.
unidentified
Real ones.
ari shaffir
Influencers go there, too.
joe rogan
Oh, like girls who do too much ayahuasca and they wear wooden beads and they want their tits out?
ari shaffir
Dude, so I was in Patagonia where I was like.
joe rogan
Hit me Hollow Park.
4.6 stars.
That's a lot.
unidentified
Not bad.
ari shaffir
I was asking people, it was a rafting thing, and I was like, who's the worst?
I always try to do this, especially at comedy clubs too.
Who's the worst person you've ever had here?
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So there's like, which country, which people are the worst?
And they go, I don't know.
I'm like, listen, I'm from Jews, so you can, it's Jews, right?
And they go, I mean, they want freebies for sure.
But like, we're trying to get which country's worst.
And he goes, well, the worst overall, though, is influencers.
And they have no country, but they make everything about them.
They make you pause too long to take their shots.
They make you get out of their shot.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
We're all just trying to raft.
They think they're there for them.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Ugh.
Ugh.
joe rogan
One of the influencers got arrested in Korea.
Johnny Somali.
Do you know who that guy is?
He was in Korea and apparently they have some statue that is about, I think it's something about sex slavery or something like that.
So he was like kissing the statue and being rude to people and they just sentenced him to, he did a bunch of shit over there.
They sentenced him to six months of hard labor in Korea.
ari shaffir
We need some of that here for influencers.
Quit doing fucking selfie talking on the wire walking.
You're not a black lady.
You don't get to talk to your phone.
joe rogan
Black ladies get to talk to their phone.
ari shaffir
Oh, they love speakerphone.
joe rogan
Why do they do it like that?
ari shaffir
I don't know.
It's black ladies.
Like, and it's like, why do you think they like that?
Why did they like it?
They want everyone to hear that conversation.
Maybe because their fucking nails will cut up their face if they bring it too close.
I'm sure there are possible reasons.
joe rogan
It is weird where certain cultures gravitate towards certain behavior and activities.
ari shaffir
It's new racism.
It's fun because it's like, this isn't in the books.
This is a brand new observation.
joe rogan
Speakerphone is like, I remember being outside of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
And saying, like, how come so many black guys are on speakerphone?
And people are like, that's racist.
I'm like, no, it's not.
ari shaffir
No, it's an erase observation.
joe rogan
Observing.
ari shaffir
I'm not mad at them.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't care.
ari shaffir
I don't care why.
joe rogan
Like, why is it worse that I hear both sides of the conversation versus one side?
Like, if someone's just talking on the phone, why is that less offensive than someone talking to a speakerphone?
unidentified
You could observe.
ari shaffir
Why do the Hasidic Jews always talk on flip phones all the time?
And you're like, there's something up.
unidentified
Or what?
ari shaffir
Yeah, there's some where it's like, why did the people used to ask me that when I would do QAs, when I was doing the Jew hour building it?
So they'd ask questions during a check drop.
So I'd be like, Ask questions and I'll build my material that way.
joe rogan
Oh, that's smart.
ari shaffir
But one of them is like, why do they all wear matching clothes to daughters?
Or, like, if one's 10, one's 8, why do they wear matching stuff?
That's the only one I couldn't figure out until I finally figured it out.
It's two for one sales.
joe rogan
United threatens to kick off passengers who don't use headphones.
unidentified
Yeah, good.
joe rogan
Oh, well, that's because people are, like, listening to, like, loud YouTube videos right next to them.
ari shaffir
Bro, all over South America.
unidentified
Oh, really?
It is.
ari shaffir
Scroll Instagram videos loudly.
There's no even thought.
We were on an overnight bus once and there was a guy listening to, like, Best Hollywood screams.
And it was like, dude, we're sleeping.
unidentified
Oh, God.
ari shaffir
It's crazy.
They just don't do it.
And you want to be quiet, but they'll be like, why?
It's not part of our culture.
joe rogan
It's like the Dominican pool hall.
Central Park Birds and Chaos 00:07:10
ari shaffir
Yeah, exactly.
This is how we do it.
joe rogan
They're just used to the chaos.
It is weird that people get used to a certain amount of chaos.
ari shaffir
And that's just normal.
New York is a normal track hammers.
unidentified
Right.
Nothing.
joe rogan
Yeah, if you live in New York, you're totally accustomed to that.
Oh, that was what I wanted to send you, Jamie.
unidentified
I don't know.
joe rogan
Maybe I did send it to you the other day about.
Where they figured out that there's a part of your brain that recognizes when birds aren't chirping.
unidentified
Ooh.
joe rogan
And you kind of freak out.
ari shaffir
There should be some background noise.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Well, if birds aren't chirping, it generally means that predators are nearby.
unidentified
Oh.
ari shaffir
I forgot.
Their brain is a circuit that doesn't know you live in a city.
Its only job is to monitor whether birds are still singing.
joe rogan
Right now, in this room, it's on.
The circuit predates primates.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
Mammals have been using ambient soundscape continually as a predator detection system for roughly. 200 million years.
Birds stop singing when something larger moves through their territory.
For most of the mammalian history, the forest full of song meant that no large predator was nearby, and the cessation of sound was the warning.
Your nervous system never updated this software.
ari shaffir
A loud quiet.
Something's up.
joe rogan
The Max Planck Institute tested the inverse in 2022 with 295 participants.
Six minutes of bird song dropped anxiety with a medium effect size.
Six minutes of traffic noise raised depression with the same.
The effect worked on subjects who lived in dense urban environments and had no regular contact with nature.
The brain still ran the check.
ari shaffir
Listen, I'm a hippie.
I live in New York, and it's like I got to get to nature once in a while or I'll go crazy.
joe rogan
That's why we have to protect the parks.
ari shaffir
That's why we have to protect the parks.
joe rogan
We have to.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow we're protecting a park.
ari shaffir
Tomorrow we are.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
It's back.
ari shaffir
Fucking, this new guy.
Listen, I'm a one issue voter, I'm not a voter at all.
But if I was, yeah.
And it's this we saved another park, Elizabeth Street Gardens, classic old park.
And they go, no, the other guy was like, we got to tear this down for low income housing.
And then Lower East Side and the East Village, that's a community oriented place.
They take care of shit on their own.
Always have.
They made the park, it's a parks district because they were like, these buildings collapsed and they're just like, let's build it into parks.
And then the city, when it came back, they're like, let's take those back.
Like, no, no, no, fuck that.
We made these.
East River Park's massive, but Illustrated Gardens is tiny.
And the other guy, the black guy, whatever his name was, Eric Adams.
Eric Adams, he goes, I'm going to protect that park and I'm going to protect all the parks.
Parks got nicer.
They redid them all and they painted all the benches.
I like them.
And he goes, okay.
So this community goes, we will find you another place to build low income housing.
And they did.
They had this whole platform and they go, we can do it on this block, down the street there and there.
It's actually more houses than you were planning on building.
Okay.
And now this fucking new guy goes, no, we're going to raise that to the ground.
unidentified
What?
ari shaffir
And they're like, no, no, we did it.
We found another place.
unidentified
I thought he was 40.
ari shaffir
They keep trying to get him to just say you're going to protect it.
And he's pretty much like, I won't.
I won't.
Elizabeth Street Gardens is fucking gone if I have my say.
unidentified
Really?
ari shaffir
Yeah, and they're like, dude, come on.
You're supposed to be of the people.
Once again, single issue voter, I don't know about the rest.
You got to protect that park.
joe rogan
So, do you think that there's some sort of a financial interest?
ari shaffir
Someone's always getting this.
Someone's always getting that.
joe rogan
Well, you would not think it would be him.
He's a democratic socialist.
ari shaffir
There's a non capitalist reason why green spaces are important.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It doesn't bring in money.
They try to fuck up with this one.
They try to fuck this one up.
unidentified
Zilker?
ari shaffir
Yeah, with underground garages and stuff, and totally redoing it.
The people won, so it didn't happen.
But there is a thing that helps all of our level of life, level of growth.
joe rogan
Well, Central Park is a cheap idea.
unidentified
It's great.
ari shaffir
It would never change.
It would never change.
joe rogan
We were talking about this with Brian Simpson.
I was like, if I lived in New York City, if something happened and I had to do JRE from New York City, I would have to live near the park because I would have to have my dog.
I'm not going to get rid of my dog.
So I'd have to take him.
I just have to have a place.
Where I 100% were able to take, I'd have a routine where I'm taking him to the park every day.
ari shaffir
Central Park rules.
And you see somebody playing saxophone, and you feel like you're in a Woody Allen movie.
joe rogan
Bro, Central Park's incredible.
It's so big, too.
When you stay in a hotel that looks over the park, you really get a sense of the scope, the size of it.
unidentified
Fly over.
joe rogan
The scale of it is incredible.
And by the way, they would love to sell that off.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
And just start stacking it up, make it look like China, you know, like one of those big cities that they have over there.
ari shaffir
And they have great spaces.
They are important to our way of life.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's good for your dome, obviously.
It's good for the fucking mind.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's healthy.
But even Central Park, it's like it's not as good as like real wilderness.
unidentified
Real.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Central Park will buy me two days of sanity.
I got to get to the actual woods and then I get a week or two.
joe rogan
Central Park will balance you out.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
It'll balance you out.
Like it's way better than no.
And it seems like people are cooler there.
Like every time I've been in Central Park, people seem like a little nicer.
Like if you run into people on Broadway, they don't seem as nice as people that you run into in Central Park.
unidentified
Yeah.
It's not this fucking thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
There's also that thing with, like, hey, no smoking in here.
Like, I'm really sorry.
And then you put it out and light it up as soon as you're gone.
joe rogan
But, like, you can't smoke in Central Park?
unidentified
Nothing.
Really?
ari shaffir
You do, but weed, but cigarettes, I get more mad at.
But also, like, yeah, if I got a cigar and I'm with a friend, I'm smoking.
unidentified
Yeah.
Wow.
joe rogan
I could see how that would annoy people.
ari shaffir
Sure, but also chill.
joe rogan
But you can walk down the street in New York and smoke a cigarette, right?
ari shaffir
Or a joint, yeah.
joe rogan
Right.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Still weird to me when I see a black guy on a stoop rolling a joint and I'm like, what are you doing?
joe rogan
It's legal.
ari shaffir
You're going to go to jail.
unidentified
But it's right.
ari shaffir
I know.
unidentified
It's totally weird.
joe rogan
Well, now it's different.
Nationwide, because Trump just changed it to Schedule 3.
Again, this is something that Obama could have done, Biden could have done, Clinton could have done.
ari shaffir
Trump could have done it.
joe rogan
Trump 1 could have done it.
Yeah, and now it's schedule three, which is still not good.
I mean, it should be just like alcohol, but at least it's getting close.
It's getting close.
ari shaffir
Dude, I had moments out there of nature where you're in the middle of nowhere and you really do feel rejuvenated like that.
Oh, yeah.
Where you're not even, it's not even hiking culture.
So it's like you're not passing anyone for hours and hours and hours.
joe rogan
You're at peace.
ari shaffir
You're just at peace.
joe rogan
And whatever that thing is that they've just discovered about birds, there's a similar thing that your body recognizes when you're actually in real nature.
It feels different.
There's no cell phone signal.
ari shaffir
You know anything about grounding?
Yes.
What's your take on it?
joe rogan
Well, Huberman believes it's a real thing.
And so I always trust Huberman because he's very objective about all this stuff.
ari shaffir
Electromagnetic waves coming off the ground that you need to get in touch with?
It does feel good.
joe rogan
When I take the dogs out in the yard and I walk around barefoot, it feels good.
I mean, I'm just judging it based on how it makes me feel.
ari shaffir
It's like that word tree hugger got a bad rap, but it's like, it comes from like, touch that, they're in the ground, so you're connected to the ground.
joe rogan
Probably comes from people that were tripping balls.
Bolivia Grounding and Nature Peace 00:14:35
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because if you're tripping balls, those trees hug you back.
ari shaffir
I've been there, yeah.
joe rogan
Those trees hug you back.
They talk to you.
ari shaffir
Light your face on them.
unidentified
Hello, Ari.
ari shaffir
You can feel the cells.
joe rogan
I'm an oak tree.
I've been here for 300 years.
I've been here before this was America.
ari shaffir
Yeah, it's pretty wild.
joe rogan
When I go to the mountains, especially like the elk hunting mountains, because it's so hard to get there.
When you get there, there's no cell phone service.
And when you're up there, you feel different.
You just feel different.
You feel better.
ari shaffir
You really do.
joe rogan
You feel more relaxed.
ari shaffir
Dude, my brain was firing in a way that it hadn't.
Fired in so long.
It was just like all the shit holding you down, just like pulled off.
And after not very much time, it was like just thoughts, creative thoughts were just like pouring out of me.
joe rogan
So, in the six months you were gone, no social media, no social media.
ari shaffir
I took YMH's on a piece of paper, a couple people from YMH's emails.
I got two months ahead on my ads and my podcast on You Be Tripping.
So, I'm like, you guys are set for two months.
You don't need me.
And then after.
joe rogan
So, did you record a bunch of episodes in advance?
ari shaffir
A year or two.
joe rogan
That was awesome.
ari shaffir
I did my work.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
unidentified
That's crazy.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
They're all evergreen episodes.
How did you do that?
I, one, worked hard.
Two, loved hearing about travel.
I love it.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So, like, it wasn't much work for me to come in and be like, tell me about Cambodia.
Tell me about Thailand.
Tell me about Taiwan.
Tell me about, you know, Uruguay.
joe rogan
Well, that's how I feel about podcasting in general.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You like it.
You'll have here or there, like this guy was sucked.
I wish I should have stayed home.
But generally, like that's really interesting.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
So I love it.
And I just got way ahead.
It's funny when I, like Danny Polishak, I put out an episode.
He goes, Did we do it like two years ago?
And I'm like, I wasn't time yet.
I don't know.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
ari shaffir
Or I'll save it for if a comic has a special.
Like, let's just record it now.
In nine months, you'll have a special.
I'll put it in there.
joe rogan
How many do you have banked?
ari shaffir
Through July, still.
unidentified
Whoa.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
That's crazy.
joe rogan
So how many did you do a week?
ari shaffir
Sometimes none.
Sometimes, sometimes like six or seven.
I was very.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
You'd be tripping, dude.
I was.
I see every mistake I made for the skeptic tank, and I was like, let's avoid that.
joe rogan
Like, what kind of mistakes are you making?
ari shaffir
So, like, minimum of effort on my part technologically.
So, I, YMH is my Jamie.
unidentified
Right, right.
ari shaffir
Here's the footage.
Handle.
joe rogan
By the way, settle down because they're not.
ari shaffir
They're my version of Jamie.
joe rogan
This is the only, this is the GOAT.
ari shaffir
Well, I have 15 people doing one Jamie job.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's the problem.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, when people talk about, like, who should I hire?
ari shaffir
I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
joe rogan
I don't know what to tell you.
You need a guy on the spectrum.
unidentified
But, yeah.
ari shaffir
But I did that.
I just kept, sometimes I'd be like, do two a day for, Four straight days.
And any comic who goes, Hey, I'm sorry, I'm busy.
I'm like, Buddy, let's reschedule.
This isn't supposed to be stressful.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
Let's do it when you have time.
There's no chill.
unidentified
No big deal.
ari shaffir
That's the way to do it.
And once you're ahead, you can afford a week with nothing.
And it wasn't like, I got to find someone.
We got to do this now.
That's out.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
That's out.
All the music choices I used to make.
I'm like, that's a lot of work.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, the music thing is the problem is like, you get flagged now.
We used to be able to play music on YouTube all the time.
And now everything gets flagged.
You got to be real careful.
We used to play songs almost every episode.
ari shaffir
Full song.
joe rogan
Yeah.
When there was nothing, when the show made zero money.
ari shaffir
It was so wild west.
It was so fun.
You're actually making a fun thing, it was so outlaw.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It's a little more corporate now, which is sad, but also fine.
It helps people a lot more now.
But man, podcasting was just do whatever the fuck you want.
joe rogan
Well, we were at the early, early days.
Like when I started this thing, it was 2009.
It's almost 20 years old, which is so nuts.
ari shaffir
Have you figured out a way to monetize it yet?
unidentified
Not yet.
joe rogan
I'm working on it.
I think I'm going to sell rubber pussies.
ari shaffir
You were for a bit.
You were for a bit.
joe rogan
That was my first time.
ari shaffir
Only sponsor.
I don't need another one.
We're good.
joe rogan
It was funny because Sam Harris was like one of his.
His requests when he first did my podcast.
ari shaffir
Please don't mention pussy's.
joe rogan
He wouldn't let me do an ad for the fleshlight.
I said, okay, okay, it doesn't matter.
Like, it's not like it's paying a lot of money.
It was just fun more than anything.
ari shaffir
Yeah, but so I would wait.
So after two months, I'd go, hey, I need the next months of ads.
And I would say one day, I would just do all the ads on the bumpers.
Like, this guy's got a new special.
Here's his tour dates.
I'd find a waterfall or something and I would do it in a fun place.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
ari shaffir
Yeah, I was just like, let's do it fun.
If I'm going to do remote, let's be remote.
joe rogan
Yeah.
How did you do it?
Do you do it video as well?
ari shaffir
Yeah, iPhone.
Jamie told me this a long time.
My first trip to Southeast Asia, I was like, hey, I need a pocket camera.
Like, what's the best one?
And he was like, bro, you're not going to want to hear this.
It's the iPhone.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It's the best one.
joe rogan
Or a Galaxy.
Like any modern cell phone.
ari shaffir
This is 2017, but yeah.
joe rogan
Any modern cell phone, the video is fucking incredible.
And all you do is you set it up on a little tripod and it'll go for fucking hours.
ari shaffir
Yeah, so I'll put it on a tree far away.
I did one for a Danny Brown episode in like, Sucre, Bolivia, in front of the statue of Sucre.
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
You guys were in Bolivia?
ari shaffir
That was everywhere.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
Dude, I saw an inauguration for the first president they had in 20 years.
unidentified
Where?
ari shaffir
In Sucre, in Bolivia.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
They had the old guy who was running things for 20 years.
unidentified
Okay.
ari shaffir
A crazy dude that everyone hated.
He said farming is more important than industry here.
So we should give the farmers two votes per person.
And the cities get one.
Now, they also run the media there.
So, everyone in the farmlands, in the heartland, they didn't see any of the problems.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
City shit.
So they go, I don't know.
Everything on the radio says the guy's doing a great job.
Let's vote him in again.
He's doing great.
I listen to the radio.
The guy's doing a great job.
And everyone in the city's like, no, no.
He's lying.
So everything went to shit.
unidentified
20 years.
ari shaffir
Like, well, let's turn on the radio again.
Let's turn on like Trump news and see what Trump is saying about Trump.
It's going to be pretty good.
unidentified
Right.
Oh, yeah.
ari shaffir
There I am.
That's the video.
unidentified
Is this the video?
Oh, wow.
ari shaffir
I pretend to be talking to my cell phone because it was so embarrassing.
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
So I pretend to be talking to my phone, but I just have a cordless mic.
joe rogan
Is Danny still sober?
ari shaffir
I think he's back on Wii, but, like, yeah, he's off the phone.
joe rogan
The alcohol was the issue.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Last time we did a podcast, he got obliterated.
ari shaffir
He's sober.
unidentified
Nice.
Yeah.
Good for him.
ari shaffir
He's doing great.
joe rogan
Bolivia, is there, like, it was always Bolivian marching powder.
It was what, when I was a kid, people would call cocaine.
ari shaffir
Interesting.
The salt flats were really cool there.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Just like miles and miles of salt fields.
Oh, there's me and O'Neill in Peru.
joe rogan
Look at you guys with your stupid hats on.
ari shaffir
Yeah, I was just trying to find weird spots and, like, I don't know, let's just film something.
joe rogan
Why were you wearing those hats?
ari shaffir
Where's Peru?
Those are the alpaca hats that keep you warm.
joe rogan
Oh, I went hunting my first time hunting.
I wore those hats.
ari shaffir
They're great.
joe rogan
And Steve Ranella was saying that's a very left wing hat.
I'm like, why?
Why is it left wing?
unidentified
It's warm.
ari shaffir
Yeah, what?
joe rogan
So I don't know about your hat.
I'm like, what's wrong with your hat?
Leave it alone.
I'm about to kill something.
ari shaffir
Steve, chill.
I'm about to murder something.
joe rogan
I killed that deer with my left wing hat on.
ari shaffir
But that's all I would do.
I would just weigh in once in a while, get my left wing hat on.
But that's all I would do.
My brain was so alive.
I would just like, you just don't realize what you're dealing with responsibility wise all the time.
And then when you have none, it's like you could just kind of be yourself.
I came up with this whole storytelling shows out.
I came up with this whole, like, how to frame it all, how to do everything.
I had a vision of, like, this prologue that I want to bridge the gap.
It's called The End.
It's out now.
joe rogan
And this is.
And then did you film all that with your mom's house studios as well?
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah.
joe rogan
They might be the only group like that that's actually good.
ari shaffir
Tom was like, How much do you have?
I'm like, I have about 80% of it.
He goes, I'll put in the rest.
I'll supply all the people you need to make it happen.
And then he's not a network.
He's Segura and he's a fucking dirtbag.
So he's like, Say whatever you want.
There's no censoring when Segura, you know?
joe rogan
Well, it's also like, Tom has made so much money that he's out.
You know what I mean?
He'll do whatever the fuck he wants.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You can't stop him.
He's going to do whatever he wants now.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh, nice.
joe rogan
Look at all these episodes Miss Pat, the Stefano.
unidentified
Look at that.
ari shaffir
Duncan did a great one.
joe rogan
Nice.
ari shaffir
Bobby Shane.
joe rogan
Shane, Bobby Kelly.
Big J.
ari shaffir
Yeah, we made the show again.
joe rogan
Nick Bargazzi.
ari shaffir
And then there's prologues.
It's something I had a vision of this on that mushroom trip.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
ari shaffir
About how to frame what happened to this not happening and what is this thing now and how to go through it.
And then I talked to a bunch of artists while I was gone and some made pictures.
And this guy, William Child, he actually did a Danny Brown video.
He's just, shit, I don't want to ruin this.
joe rogan
Where'd you film these?
ari shaffir
The Box in New York City, place where Chappelle would have his.
Comedian balls.
joe rogan
You just get that gay outfit.
ari shaffir
The gay outfit, Joe, is from.
Do you remember a show called This Is Not Happening?
unidentified
Yes.
ari shaffir
I did.
I'm completely legally unrelated to this new show.
You can say whatever you want, but I cannot.
But that was a comedian telling stories in a strip club.
This is a strip club with a comedian telling stories.
The first year, they go, hey, you got to wear the same outfit every day.
And I go, no, that's fake.
They go, no, but we got to mix and match days, so we got to do it.
joe rogan
Oh, why?
Is anybody going to.
Tune out because they see it.
ari shaffir
No, it'll be like, it's weird, or suddenly you're hosting a different thing.
So I'd start wearing ridiculous suits I made in Hong Kong.
You know?
And then my final year, I had this Indian outfit picked out that I went and sourced in LA and had this cool Indian outfit.
joe rogan
All right, now it's cool.
I thought it was gay.
ari shaffir
And I saved it for seven or eight years.
When that show got taken away from me, I was like, I'm saved.
If I ever do this again, I'm wearing this fucking outfit out of respect to overcoming.
joe rogan
Those days were very fascinating.
The days where.
Comedy Central is trying to force you into doing a Comedy Central special, but you had a deal with Netflix.
And even though it was completely legal and contractually legal for you to do a comedy special with Netflix, Comedy Central was strong arming you into doing it on Comedy Central and canceled your fucking show because you wouldn't do a special with them.
So you had a successful show on Comedy Central.
People want to know how gross Hollywood can get?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Ari had a successful show that was doing very well on Comedy Central.
And they canceled it because he wouldn't do a comedy special.
ari shaffir
Because I made it.
It was one of the early ones, paid for my own special.
unidentified
Uh huh.
ari shaffir
And then it said, I got to figure out where it's going.
And they go, it should be here.
And I go, no, no, I don't think it should.
It's also, it was a double special.
And it was like, it needs to be on a streamer more than a network.
And then I was like, no, I'm going to Netflix.
And yeah, and then they were like, let's go blackmail then.
It's crazy.
I get it from their perspective.
joe rogan
No, I don't.
ari shaffir
They're like, hey, we can't be losing power.
And they never really, they always thought it was an open mic.
joe rogan
But it was not losing power because the reality is that would just bring more people to the comedy century.
ari shaffir
And Netflix back then, Was so much bigger to do a special when I did that 2017 special on Netflix.
I was the mayor of New York for like three weeks.
Everywhere I go, I might bike at a red light, three people would recognize you.
It was a different time for specials then, and of course, that was the biggest thing.
I'm gonna do that, yeah.
joe rogan
Well, it's still pretty big.
ari shaffir
Netflix is still pretty big, but not Jew specials.
They picked it up.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right, they picked up Jew, yeah, it's on Netflix right now.
ari shaffir
Nice, but yeah, and so people ask me with this show, like, why didn't you go to Netflix?
Or like, I'm like, dude, networks killed me.
joe rogan
Not only that.
ari shaffir
I don't want to.
unidentified
Yeah, I don't want to.
ari shaffir
I'd rather just go straight to the people on this one.
joe rogan
Why do it?
It's like there's no reason to at this point.
Especially like Comedy Central doesn't even exist anymore.
unidentified
It doesn't exist.
joe rogan
That's what's nuts.
ari shaffir
It was a wild time.
You said you would host for free.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
I was on the phone with you crying.
I was like hearing it that they're taking away the influence.
joe rogan
Tell them I will host it for free because you were going to take out a loan to pay off all the crew because all the crew had signed on for X amount of episodes and it was going to cost them money.
And you were like, I'm trying to figure out a way to keep us on the air.
unidentified
I go.
joe rogan
Tell Comedy Central I will host it for free.
ari shaffir
You were already, it was 2017.
This podcast was already going.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It was huge by then.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it was number one in 2019 when it started being number one.
But it was probably top four.
ari shaffir
You had pedigree on the show.
You'd done two stories one you liked, one you hated.
But the one you liked was a great story.
That's a great story.
Doltham, Alabama.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And I was like, oh, he's part of the show.
This kind of goes.
If someone's got to do it, let's, and he'll do it.
For free, you're saving money and getting a much bigger host.
joe rogan
They just wanted to fuck you.
They just wanted to fuck you.
ari shaffir
Anyone I suggested, they said no.
I said Ali Sadiq should do it.
They said no.
Yeah, of course they said no.
joe rogan
At least they went with Roy.
Roy was really good.
ari shaffir
Roy's great.
joe rogan
But it only lasted like a little bit.
ari shaffir
It was over after that.
joe rogan
But that show could have gone on a long fucking time.
It was such a great idea.
It was great execution.
It was fun to do.
ari shaffir
It was real.
joe rogan
I really enjoyed it.
ari shaffir
In a moment where alt comedy and the ironic distance was getting bigger, this was a more real thing.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And people responded to it.
And listen.
joe rogan
But it just shows you the grossness of the business sometimes when these people who are just gatekeeping executives have to.
unidentified
Gatekeeping.
ari shaffir
They're really saying, oh, you're not on the list.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they don't exist anymore.
That's what's most amazing.
ari shaffir
Well, that's the cool thing.
You can go to Tom, you can go to a guy like that or whatever.
And he goes, no, I love the show.
It made me bigger.
Let's get it going again.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it's also like nine years later, the internet has completely taken over.
Like it has drowned out all of those comedy networks.
They don't exist anymore.
ari shaffir
Yeah, you need some level of curation, although you're lost in a sea of content sometimes, but there's people you can trust.
You know, if you want meditation, that guy, Sam Harris, is that the meditation guy?
You know, whatever he's going to say, you're probably going to believe it meditation wise.
You know, if you need some, to hear an MMA fighter like really speaking, this is a great source for that, this podcast.
She needs some curator, but I mean, like, I'm the guy, I'm that for this show.
TV Clips and MMA Fighters 00:15:26
ari shaffir
I'll make it quality, I'll make it look right.
You can always trust me to do that.
So come to me for that show was the coolest stand up show of all time.
joe rogan
It was a fun show.
It was a really good show.
And it was a show that I remember you created from scratch.
I remember when you were doing it at the lab, at the improv, that tiny little room.
You were doing it for free.
And I was like, what are you doing?
Basically, the same way that you were talking to me about my podcast.
Like, what are you doing?
ari shaffir
That's what you were saying.
What are you doing, dude?
A fucking show for 20 people?
joe rogan
I'm like, this is so weird.
I'm like, Ari's telling stories.
But I thought about it.
I was like, it's probably a good idea to develop material that way.
ari shaffir
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
No, a lot of people was like, hey, we're doing a show.
It's about heartbreak this week or this month or it's about drugs, whatever.
And they go, all right, let me.
Let me, I have a story.
Let me get all my thoughts down, you know, all the metaphors and stuff, the stuff flowery stuff you put on them that Jay's so good at and stuff.
But like, then they became a lot of people.
It's like, that's my closer and my special now.
I had no bit.
I thought of it because of this.
It became, you know, the biggest thing I had in my act.
unidentified
Yeah, nuts.
ari shaffir
It's nuts.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Because I love giving people an excuse to like write something.
joe rogan
It was also such a fun show because it was comedy outside of like regular stand up, it was like another avenue.
And, And it was a really fun thing to do.
You know, and the thing about like the gatekeeping of it is like those people had nothing to do with it and they had all the power.
They had all the power.
And by just exercising it in that way and then everybody talking about how gross it was, nobody ever trusted them again.
ari shaffir
And the thing is, some of the stuff they do though, like we need some diversity.
And it'd be like, I don't think you're wrong.
I think you don't want it to be all the same thing.
But there's something me and Eric Abrams came up with it's a diversity of experience.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Is bigger.
Two white dudes is not what we're talking about.
If it's like Ali Sadiq's life, closer to Gary Owens' life than mine.
Gary Owens and Ali are closer to each other than me or Gary.
unidentified
Right, right, right.
ari shaffir
So that's what I want, different, whatever.
And they have these checklists you would go to in LA.
Here are the gays, get one of these seven.
Here are the black and white.
And it was like, well, I'm not going to fuck up my product.
No way.
joe rogan
At the end of the day, it has to be a meritocracy.
ari shaffir
So then we would just work harder, which a lot of people aren't willing to do.
And it's like, well, there's a great black woman in Indianapolis.
She's not in LA or New York, but let's get her.
She has great stories.
Miss Pat.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
There's a great black comic in Houston, and he has these great stories about prison.
Let's get him.
unidentified
Oh, Sadiq.
ari shaffir
They're not on these lists.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You just got to work a little harder to make your shit.
You know, it's like Seinfeld letting everybody else shine.
joe rogan
Right.
But it's like forced diversity without the merit, without good quality comedy.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it's just gatekeepers fuck themselves, really, because now that we don't need them anymore, like, they.
What do those people do?
Like all those people that were running Comedy Central, what do they do now?
There's no jobs.
ari shaffir
Well, the thing is with like cabs overstepping that made Uber possible.
Yeah.
So let's focus on the positive of this.
joe rogan
And then the Uber people kept robbing and murdering people.
unidentified
Yep.
joe rogan
So they just got Waymo's.
ari shaffir
Yeah, exactly.
They'll be gone too.
Take advantage.
unidentified
Yep.
Yep.
ari shaffir
How many Coke addicts do you need driving?
You're like, bro, that's a red light.
Please stop.
joe rogan
I mean, they barely fucking vet those people.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
But the cool thing is, because it's easier to film and because I have friends that are fucking.
Billionaires, you know, it's like we can actually get it done now.
It's a golden age for this.
unidentified
It is.
ari shaffir
To be able to make a TV show level thing on our own.
joe rogan
Well, look at even movies like Theo and David Spade made a fucking movie on their own.
They self financed it and it's doing well.
ari shaffir
They go, we know how much it's going to cost.
We'll do it.
We're rich.
joe rogan
It's incredible.
It's a cool time.
ari shaffir
I mean, we made our budget back day one.
That's awesome.
On a massive project, flying in 23 comics, you know, putting them all up, paying them all.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
ari shaffir
They're cutting in on the shares.
We've never done that before.
joe rogan
So, are you going to do that in the next season as well?
ari shaffir
I don't know if it's going to be a next season.
A lot of this was just to, there was a hole in my resume where the show didn't end on the terms it should have ended on.
joe rogan
And that's why it's called The End?
unidentified
Yeah.
Ah.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It's a play on words for story titles, too, you know, like The End.
joe rogan
But like, I like that.
ari shaffir
So I just had to get it done right.
unidentified
Nice.
Nice.
ari shaffir
And then all these huge comps, like Shane Gillis, who when he was an open micer was like, all these guys, like, I want to eventually do that show.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
And the show went away.
And in the interim, he's like, Supplanting the Philadelphia 76ers so he could do comedy, you know?
But he's like, I'd love to do that show.
Dude, I have four people take private jets to come to the show.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
Fuck yeah.
ari shaffir
It was, I'm so happy with it.
It came out right.
Everyone who's seen it is like, oh, this is like not just something you did.
This is like a TV show.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It's like, I'm so happy.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
I love it.
I'm so happy to hear that, dude.
ari shaffir
And that's great.
That prologue that that guy did.
You should.
I'll send you a $2 off.
unidentified
I'll just pay.
ari shaffir
Yeah, we said we had to figure out a way.
Me and O'Neill and Abrams, we all like writing it.
We're like, I have to figure out a way to bridge the gap of this not happening to the end and what happened and everything without being too woe is me.
And so we got this claymation guy who was like, Yeah, let's just fill it with fucking punchlines.
So it doesn't become that like, I love Schultz, but a little like, they couldn't keep us down.
I'm like, I don't want to do any of that.
I don't want to be earnest.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
So let's bridge the gap without ever being serious.
unidentified
Oh, nice.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
So it was like a three minute prologue you get for free.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's William Child.
That's Tim Key's video.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
How did they do that?
Did they use real claymation?
ari shaffir
Oh, yeah, dude.
In a time of AI where everyone's doing the easy stuff, he is painstakingly, it takes him a day to build each one of those characters.
That's three day work.
And then the backdrop takes another day or two.
joe rogan
And how long does it take to actually do the animation?
ari shaffir
A long time.
All day long.
So if you have notes, you're like, Dude, I need those notes before I start filming.
This is click, move, click, move, click, move.
jamie vernon
You gotta go back and erase the stuff that, you know, the wires and shit too.
ari shaffir
Are they wires or just moving the clay?
jamie vernon
It has to be held up because the clay would fall.
ari shaffir
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
Well, there's wires in the arms.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, you don't necessarily have to have wires like to make it stand.
What is going on with his tits?
jamie vernon
Well, you know, it's music videos.
joe rogan
What's in that bowl?
unidentified
Ew.
ari shaffir
He's making a.
joe rogan
It looks like a turd.
jamie vernon
Yeah, I didn't get locked into that.
ari shaffir
He did a trippy red video that's really good.
joe rogan
That's awesome, dude.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's cool that people are still doing stuff like that, like the old school, the way they did King Kong.
ari shaffir
Well, here's what I noticed too when you start talking to some of these artists, you know, like some of my stage designs and stuff like that.
Like for America's Sweetheart, what I had was like this idea that, what if we left society?
How long till nature would just take back over?
And we're like, let's do that with plants.
And then the first ones are like so expensive.
They're like, oh, I can't.
Okay, I got to rethink.
unidentified
I can't.
ari shaffir
That's far, far out of the budget.
I'll spend a lot, but not that much out of the budget.
But then you tell these people, Like, well, here's what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to say, you saved the whole thing.
Like, here's what I'm trying to get across.
Here's what I'm trying to say.
Like, we're too caught up in the news and stuff.
And if we all just, like, whatever.
And then they go, fuck, dude, that's a good.
Okay, we can do it at cost.
And then him and Anthony Shepard, they were both like these great artists.
They were like, fuck, they stole your fucking show from you.
Hold on, that's fucking bullshit.
I can bring my cost way down.
We can do this.
Still very expensive, but they were like, I want to be part of something.
joe rogan
That's dope.
ari shaffir
You know, if Tarantino was like, you want to hold a boom mic?
I'm like, yes, I would do that for you to be part of something.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
There we go.
jamie vernon
That's fucking dope, dude.
ari shaffir
It's what?
joe rogan
William Child.
That's his Instagram account.
unidentified
Whoa.
ari shaffir
That's me.
unidentified
Look at you.
ari shaffir
Can you deliver me a message?
Oh, you're an asshole, kid.
You know, that is.
Tell me that I was a kid.
unidentified
Look at that.
That's real.
You have to play that.
I don't know.
ari shaffir
February 18th, 2010.
The show was born in the third most vapid city in America.
Me and six comedians telling stories about psychedelic drugs.
Only 14 people showed up.
But goddamn, it was the best show I'd ever seen.
unidentified
February.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
ari shaffir
A lot of hard work completely on my own with help from no one.
I got a TV deal.
And that.
Help launch the careers of so many great comics.
Fat ones who lost weight, fat ones who somehow keep getting fat.
Men who want to influence Alexa.
Go on to normalize childhood.
That's Pat, you should get molested.
And then, with a lot of hardened ending.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
ari shaffir
The irony's sickening me.
Wait, wait, watch this part.
You're in it.
unidentified
Hold on.
ari shaffir
I mean, that might have been the drugs.
Without an ending.
Wait, rush right after this.
unidentified
Hold on.
I have a play.
ari shaffir
I mean, it might have been the drugs.
Wait, I think there's nothing yet.
unidentified
Fuck.
joe rogan
There's only clips of it, I guess.
ari shaffir
There's a moment where I have to go.
I realized it had to be a man and not just a man who would go on to tap Shane Gillis twice with witnesses, by the way.
And then you and Norman raising your hand.
I was like, I witnessed it.
I'm like, let's just have some fun, dude.
Let's have some fun.
I got Duncan to do a theme song on the way out of his episode.
unidentified
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
His story was about taking his kids to a Taylor Swift concert film and how awful it is.
He thinks she's a 15,000 year old vampire.
He has this long song.
He goes, You can see it.
She's feeding off them.
She gets bigger as they start cheering.
It's so funny.
And it's Duncan.
He's so out there.
And I'm like, Hey, Duncan.
He does this song.
He breaks down every one of her songs.
He goes, It's just this.
And I was like, You know those crazy GarageBand songs you've been making for 25 plus years?
You want to do the theme song just for that episode?
And he goes, Yeah, 100%.
So it's this demonic song about being a 15,000 year old vampire.
It's a Taylor Swift original song.
And you don't have to okay with a network.
You're like, let's just do it.
I was like, what do you need as your credit?
He made up some crazy credit for his band.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
That's amazing.
Nobody's embraced that kind of AI technology more than Duncan does.
He's always sending me things that he's working on.
unidentified
Always, dude.
joe rogan
He's doing this all day long.
ari shaffir
Those GarageBand songs he used to make, it was just him coming up with crazy weird sounds.
joe rogan
A long time ago.
Yeah.
ari shaffir
The sunset days.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
It was like, oh my God.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's awesome, dude.
Okay, so that's it's available on arishafir.com.
ari shaffir
Arishafir.com.
joe rogan
Each episode is $5.99.
ari shaffir
That went away.
People didn't know how to find it.
joe rogan
But is it still there?
Like if you go to arithegreat.com, does it take you to arishafir.com?
ari shaffir
If I know anything about me, there's no way I'm going to pay those fees every year.
If I know anything about me and my people, I doubt I still have that.
unidentified
But, all right.
All right.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
Yeah.
I let the YMH staff, I had a production card.
You know, you need a production card at the end.
One of them says YMH, then Eric Abrams directs his.
And I was like, fuck.
The one I was using was just a still frame from This Not Happening, just my dick pixelated.
And I was like, put my thing on that.
I hate the, I'm not a producer or whatever.
unidentified
Right.
ari shaffir
And I didn't have it.
And then we couldn't use anything with This Not Happening.
So it's like, don't.
And I was like, fuck, I need another one.
I'm off in the jungle.
So I told YMH, I was like, guys, you guys are all fucking idiots.
Make me whatever production card you want and I will use it.
And then they were like, we're going to make seven.
I was like, all right.
And I've seen a few of them and they're all so.
So retarded.
They're so, one of them is gonna be banging a giant coin out of my fucking giant nose.
It's just so retarded.
unidentified
Nice.
ari shaffir
I love working with people I like.
joe rogan
Yeah, Tom's awesome.
It's nice having a guy like that that's like really just acquired an enormous amount of funds.
ari shaffir
Yeah.
joe rogan
And does whatever the fuck he wants.
ari shaffir
Fun funds.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And his Netflix show is fucking great.
ari shaffir
Oh, it's so out there.
joe rogan
It's so crazy.
But it's like perfect for him.
It's like his mind.
unidentified
All right.
joe rogan
Let's wrap this bitch up.
Tomorrow, Protect Our Parks.
ari shaffir
First Protect Our Parks in quite some time.
Dude, I would get recognized here or there when I was traveling.
Not much.
I'll tell you a couple things I saw.
One, people know Shane Gillis' name except in Brazil, and then they only know Rafi Bastos' name.
unidentified
Oh, really?
ari shaffir
That's the only comic they've ever heard of.
joe rogan
He's a big comic.
ari shaffir
Humongous.
joe rogan
Yeah, I had him on the show.
ari shaffir
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, he was great.
Good dude.
ari shaffir
But I'll tell you this, though, there's a lot of business and shit that gets caught up in this who's interviewing which politician, and oh, this guy's doing this, or he's friends with this guy, and all the money and everything.
And like, am I doing well enough?
People try to do that keep up game.
This guy's getting more views on his clips.
I should start doing shorter stuff.
Anyone I told that didn't recognize me when it came up, what my job was, first I'd try to avoid it.
But if I kept her, she's like, no, no, no, for real, what do you do?
I'm like, all right, well, I'm a stand up comedian.
I mean, this is 10 for 10 countries.
Everybody would be like, what?
What do you mean?
I'm like, yeah, I'm a stand up comedian.
And they go, like, as a hobby?
I'm like, no, as a living.
They're like, what?
Grandma, come here.
This guy does stand up.
Like, what do you mean with a microphone?
I'm like, yeah.
He goes, that's so cool.
unidentified
That's so cool.
ari shaffir
I'm like, where?
Just in New York?
I'm like, in the country, in the world, really.
unidentified
What?
ari shaffir
You pay your rent on this?
I'm like, yeah.
And then some.
Like, no fucking way.
They couldn't get over how cool it was.
And they didn't know if I'm successful or not.
They just know I do this.
Bro, we have the coolest job, and I've tested this in the world.
There's no cooler job you could tell people that they'll be like that reaction.
They start smiling just at the idea of the job.
Can they actually exist?
unidentified
Wow.
ari shaffir
And that's what we do.
And the high level ones and the low level, we're all doing the same shit.
We're all just coming up with a better dick joke.
To just entertain some strangers.
joe rogan
Even gay Ian.
Even gay fucking Ian.
ari shaffir
Blowing a dude, and they go, oh, I just got an idea for a bit.
That's cool.
Let me, hold on, I gotta write this down.
Hold on, I'll jerk you while I write it down.
joe rogan
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, it's an amazing job.
It's kind of incredible.
We live a very blessed life, for sure.
ari shaffir
Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's just, I don't know.
I mean, yeah, it's fun to just focus on some positives and realize the negatives are nothing compared to the positive.
joe rogan
The keeping up with the Joneses stuff and the paying attention.
The numbers.
I mean, obviously, that's easy for me to say that you shouldn't do it, but you shouldn't do it.
ari shaffir
Well, there's this thing.
joe rogan
Just concentrate on what you're doing and enjoy it.
ari shaffir
I was talking to Maddie Weiner, it's a really funny comic.
And she was like, you know, all these people and everybody really likes, she's going to be a star.
And she's like, all these people are getting clips.
It's crowd work.
I don't do crowd work.
And it was like, well, then you shouldn't do those clips.
Your road's just going to be a little longer than them, but don't think about it like that.
Like, just do the shit you're good at.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You know?
And then eventually you'll get found out.
joe rogan
I mean, just do whatever you do.
ari shaffir
Whatever you want to do, but don't let them decide.
Oh, I need to write an under 60 second bit.
It's got to have a punchline at 59 seconds, or I can't put it on YouTube Shorts.
Like, that's a dumb way to be building your stuff.
unidentified
Absolutely.
ari shaffir
Big J does kind of crowd work that no one's ever done long form crowd work with.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Legion of Skanks and Chichen Itza 00:01:45
joe rogan
But it's also been doing it for so long, and he has that kind of personality and like easygoing style that makes it work.
ari shaffir
You see Big J at.
At, like, when somebody heckles him, like an angry heckle, not just like a, I'm gonna be part of it.
They're like, Yeah, fuck, I suck.
He doesn't, I get worked up.
He just goes, Oh, what was it that you don't like?
Like, almost as if he's on mushrooms.
He's like, Yeah.
No, yeah, I could see that.
But what specifically?
I just want to know.
joe rogan
He's an easygoing guy.
ari shaffir
Yeah, you're just like, let's mine this for laughs.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
I'm like, I caught up screaming.
joe rogan
Well, he's also done so many shows in New York where that must happen so often.
You develop strategies.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
You got practice at it.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Big J, my co host of Legion of Skanks.
unidentified
All right.
joe rogan
That's right.
You're back.
Legion of Skanks.
You're running it now that Dave Smith has decided to be a political commentator.
ari shaffir
Well, it's three for life.
I'm not running it.
I'm just part of it.
unidentified
No, no, no.
joe rogan
You're running it.
ari shaffir
Print it.
Joke World.
joe rogan
I heard that you were the leader of the Legion of Skanks.
ari shaffir
I am the leader of Skanks.
Well, I'm the president.
joe rogan
In the past, you already, like, you ran for president.
I think you won.
ari shaffir
I think.
Yeah, I won.
Dude, one day on one of these podcasts, we got to talk about the presidential election of Legion of the Sky.
It was a three month process of just nonstop creativity and stupidity.
joe rogan
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
ari shaffir
Okay.
Oh, Shane was involved.
unidentified
Yeah.
ari shaffir
Shane's my vice president.
joe rogan
There you go.
unidentified
All right.
joe rogan
Let's wrap this up.
ari shaffir
I love you.
joe rogan
I love you too.
It's great to see you back.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
ari shaffir
Dude, there's a bunch of times where I thought about you out there where I'm like, you would love Nazca Lines was one.
I'm like, Joe Rogan would love the Mayan temples.
You would love it.
joe rogan
I went to Chichen Itza once, way back in the early days.
ari shaffir
El Salvador, you would have loved it.
joe rogan
I'm sure.
ari shaffir
Just with like, for the stuff you're into, there was so much.
Anyway, I love you, buddy.
joe rogan
I love you too.
ari shaffir
Jamie, I love you as well.
joe rogan
We love you, Jamie.
Bye.
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