Bert Kreischer and Joe Rogan debate red light therapy’s dubious vision claims, with Kreischer admitting Gen X isn’t the "Greatest Generation"—his grandmother’s era saw faster tech shifts. They mock viral conspiracy theories like Rasputin’s $8K genitals and question Stevie Wonder’s blindness, citing concert behavior and disputed medical records. Rogan links Game of Thrones’ cancellation to viral backlash and speculates Chevy Chase’s stunts stemmed from CTE, while Kreischer dismisses media narratives as compromised, praising independent journalists. Kreischer’s COVID struggles—11 infections despite four vaccines—contrasts with Rogan’s mild cases from vitamins and antibodies, fueling skepticism of mainstream health advice. Both agree hard work and healthy competition matter more than toxic social media or awards like the Golden Globes. [Automatically generated summary]
He did this one we called a rental car place, and he said that the car was on fire because they went to the gas station and they filled up pots and pans with gas and they put it in the back seat.
The second person I saw, the first person is Greg.
The second person I saw, and I mean, I'm talking just had Georgia, was Louie fucking CK.
I went and worked the road with him, and he was doing all the material for that first special that popped for him.
And he was talking about his kids, and he was just like, my daughter's a cunt.
And he goes, I know you're not supposed to say that, but what else do you say to someone who won't put their shoes on?
They're a cunt.
We're trying to leave the house and they won't put their shoes on.
Imagine if you wouldn't leave.
And it was just like, and it was like, I'm sitting there, you know, lost in like what I thought was stand-up was like some imitation of Dane, you know?
And I'm watching Louie going like, this is something totally different.
Yeah.
Those guys, best prank call I've ever heard, sidebar, Brendan Walsh.
So I got to tell you, before we find that, so Eddie Bravo calls me the other day and he goes, did Bert Kreischer lose everything and then get it back?
I go, what?
And he goes, yeah, it was so confusing.
He was on Shannon Sharp show, and Shannon says to Bert, what was it like?
You lost everything.
And then you had to build it back.
And he goes, it seemed like it wasn't true.
I go, it's not true.
And I go, did Bert go along with it?
He goes, yeah.
I go, what?
I couldn't wait to talk to you about it because I could totally picture someone saying to you some story that totally never happened and you not wanting to be confrontational.
But then, no, but I'm saying, like, maybe I was in my head, I was like, maybe he's thinking that, like, you know, I had a lot of development deals early and then I didn't for a few years and I worked the road and maybe that's what he was saying.
And then I made, I'm back.
I don't know.
I was like, but even when you work the road, you work the road.
It's, it's, you know, it's when I got out, I was like, it's, I don't, I don't mean this with disrespect, but it's less Shannon, I think more as producers, because he's got cards.
So I think the producers are like, what, what clip's going to pop?
Like he brought up, I told you, he brought up one.
He's like, Bert, you think Kevin Hart's just lucky?
And I was like, oh, I was like, I said that fucking 12 years ago.
And it was just, it was all it was.
And I know I'm even, but it was, this is what it was, Joe.
It's like, at a time when none of us were making money, not you, but like the younger companies make money.
And you're online, you watch Kevin.
You know, Kevin knows I love him, but Kevin's like, I'm the hardest working motherfucker.
I'm the hardest working.
And in my head, I was like, we're all working hard.
Like, but a lot of people, you know, were just, you know, waiting for a moment to get in front of people.
And then I was like, and then I had an agent very casually, like not mine, but at a thing goes, you know, Kevin should mention how lucky he got.
I was like, what do you mean?
He was like, you know about Fool's Gold, right?
I was like, no.
He's like, well, that's the beef between Kevin and Kat is Kat packed a gun in his luggage to go shoot Fool's Gold and he got detained and they were in production and they're like, we need someone small and black to fit these clothes.
We already got clothes for him.
Yeah.
And he's like, get Kevin Hart.
And that was the story I wanted Kevin to tell because that, as a comic, you can kind of put your head around that.
And I've, and I've, and by the way, I did not do a good job of explaining it on Shannon's show because it's like, you know, I'm a fucking talk out of my ass.
But like every comic has had these like moments that skyrocket them, right?
These moments that pop.
And I went through it.
And I think you'll understand it now.
But for me, it was the machine story going viral.
For Bill Burr, it's the Philly rant.
With Bill, that Philly rant just put him in the next level.
Jim Jeffries, he gets punched in the head at the comedy seller or comedy store in London.
His manager happens to be a guy that knows the internet, Brett Vincent, posted on MySpace, goes viral.
Every comic that pops always has that.
Tom, as I was telling this to Tom, he goes, yeah, it was me, Netflix.
He was like, Tom got on Netflix.
I mean, I didn't even realize this.
Tom said it to me.
He got on Netflix when there were two comics on Netflix, Bill Burr and Tom Segura.
Bill puts his special out there, like, did you like Bill Burr?
You might like Tom Segura.
And Tom's like, if Comedy Central had bought my hour, I would have been fucked.
But instead, I sold it to this small streamer, Netflix.
And the only other one they had was Bill Burr.
And so as comics, I think sometimes, and you know how much I believe in luck, it's so it's easier to hear about someone's luck where you go, oh, that is crazy, that happenstance.
I mean, we've said it about you, and I know you probably disagree maybe to a certain extent, but I think the greatest thing that ever happened to you was that getting kicked out of the comedy store, that period of time where you had to re-evaluate your evaluate yourself and you created this, what you have.
And you re, I mean, you would speak to it better than I could, but I think as comics, we look at you reinventing yourself and reimagining yourself and making it your own fucking entity and creating this podcast, which has changed all of our lives.
That moment, and it must have been tough to lose your agent, get kicked out of the comedy store, and have to figure things out that we all got behind.
Everyone got behind you.
Everyone was like, that's my guy.
I mean, I'm curious what your feelings about that are.
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I mean, that list certainly had an impact.
You know, it was also the Mencia video where people could clearly see that I was right.
Like when he would go on stage or he would be in the back of the room, if you were on stage, they would flash the light to let you know that he was in the room.
You know how crazy that is that there's a guy around that steals so much that they have to flash a light whenever a comic's on stage.
And then comics would just start doing crowd work.
It was also how well Red Band put it together, too, because he's such a good editor.
He's so brilliant.
It was music.
He went back in time.
He like, you know, like he spent a lot of time working on that.
It was a work of art.
But it was, you know, it was the first time that someone was held accountable because, you know, we don't have to name names, but we all know people who snuck through and still kind of have careers, although greatly diminished impact.
Because like when they go on stage now, people are excited to see them because they're famous.
And then that immediately goes away when you realize there's nothing there.
They have no material because they have to write for themselves now.
Yeah.
You see a giant drop off.
You see the early specials with like great jokes and really funny.
And then you see like, what is this nonsense?
Towards the end, it's just like weird, fucking like nonsensical rant something.
It's bizarre to watch.
But that's what happens when you get exposed and you have to do your own shit.
And there's a few of those guys floating around out there.
Well, I'm at the place now, like I took Google News, I took all Google and everything off my phone because the series premiered and I didn't want to get good or bad.
I was like, because you can't quantify the good.
Like, if you're going to listen to the good, you've got to listen to the bad.
And I was like, well, I don't want to hear the bad, so I just want to hear the good.
And then Jamie and I were talking about this outside, but like you have a social media team who's posting like, like, like, like your claps, like they're posting like the nice articles.
And I'm like, don't even post that.
Cause like, I don't even like, just stay out of it.
Well, I just feel like if there's something I think someone will think is interesting or something that I would like to see, if someone puts it on their feed, I'll put it in there every now.
Because after people were drafted, by the way, the worst fucking people were going after her.
People that I know that are comedians that are just unbelievably shitty, dishonest, disingenuous human beings, bad faith communicators, people that just like completely distort anything about the person.
And it's just because she's successful.
It's a giant part of it.
And so they see her making some crack about Miss Rachel because she was watching it with her kid.
But then she started responding to people because she didn't understand what it was.
She said, and then she took it down and apologized.
But you can't apologize to the mob.
They come to you.
They come for you.
And she learned.
And I texted her.
I said, listen, I love you to death.
You got to stop going back and forth to these people.
You can't do that.
It's not.
They don't.
This is not a genuine conversation.
They don't care.
Like, if you were a person and you were someone's friend and you started shitting on Miss Rachel and someone said, actually, that's like for kids with learning disorders.
Scientists say that science fiction may be coming closer to reality.
According to reports, California startup claims it successfully enabled two-way communication between people while they were lucid dreaming.
Participants were asleep in separate locations while researchers monitored their sleep and transmitted a coded word designed to be perceived inside a dream without waking them.
The system reportedly relied on sensors, wireless communication, and specialized software to detect dream states and relay the message.
The company's founder says that what once sounded like science fiction could soon become a daily life, a part of daily life.
No independent scientists, but they're not saying what happened.
No independent scientific replication has confirmed the results yet.
Still, the experiment builds on real research showing that interaction between lucid dreams is possible.
Yeah, and I remember saying I didn't know what lucid dreaming was at the time, and then I found out I was lucid dreaming and i've i've lucid dreamed, i've my my whole life.
But now that, once I knew what it was, I could stay in a dream and decide, and I could go back into dreams, I could restart a dream that I just had, go back to sleep and go back really, yeah.
Yeah, it sounds crazy and I know it sounds like horseshit, but I never knew what it was.
My lucid dreams primarily are either like i'm I I realize i'm dreaming, I go, i'm asleep, i'm dreaming, this isn't real oh, i'm in control.
And then, and then a lot of times it has to do with fucking.
Like i'm like oh, I don't have to put a condom on.
This is great, this.
I can't bang all these fucking chicks in this room.
And then one time I had a lucid dream where I was like I could.
I was.
I knew I was dreaming.
I was outside, I had to go up these steps into like an old cottage, like one of those old Hollywood cottages, and I was like I gotta fuck, I gotta have sex with anyone I want.
And in my dream I was like oh, pick your wife, how cool is that?
And then I went to this cottage.
I know I fucked my wife, I know I could have fucked her in real life and then.
But a lot of my dreams back in the day when we, when I first started lucid dreaming, I would always decide to fly.
And I remember I remember I had one right after we wrote the first time I ever tried alpha brain.
I had one and I and it was I was doing a photo shoot on Melrose and I was like I don't want to be here.
And then I was like wait, i'm dreaming, this isn't real.
I was like i'm gonna fly home.
And so I just leapt up in the air, started flying over Hollywood and then over the hills, and then I was like wait, I have no idea, I have no frame of reference for where I am.
I was like it's getting dark and I was like where's the 101?
And then in the dream I was just started kept flying and then i'll wake up shortly thereafter but it's a lot of like a lot, lot of sex and a lot of flying.
I used to have like crazy fucking dreams, like wild.
I sold a TV show to Comedy Central about my dreams.
Like I've had dreams where I wake up laughing.
I've had dreams where I wake up crying, like I've.
I have such insane fucking dreams but and I no one ever wants to, I no one ever wants to hear you I would have dream joke dreams like real joke dreams.
Like I had a dream this is a real dream I had where I was on stage and I was in a dance position like this and I know this sounds horse shit is a real dream and and the curtains drawn and I look around and I see I'm standing on stage with four or five dudes that are all in clan outfits and I'm like, oh fuck.
And I look down and I realize I'm in a clan outfit and I'm like motherfucker, and I'm like I gotta get off stage and the curtains draw back and I hear and it's an all black people and I hear the voice, the voice Of God.
Go, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the click clack clan.
And we started tap dancing and we were so good that the black people got to their feet and they started cheering and we're like, oh my god.
And so yeah, that was and that was a real dream.
I woke up and I wrote it down.
I used to write down all my dreams, voice text them.
I used to voice text them all.
I'd have dreams about you and, and Stanhope and Roe and Uh, and Joey Diaz, like I did.
It was like my whole world.
I used to think to myself like I had a dream about Shaq the other day.
I had a dream that I came on the podcast I had to talk about because it was the absolute strangest, most realistic dream of my life, and it was a dream where I encountered these beings that were not human, and it was insanely realistic.
They were very human, like I think there was four of them.
They were tall and thin and they look kind of.
They didn't look human.
Their heads were too big, their eyes are too big and I can't remember.
I think they had teeth.
I don't remember, but I remember they were joking with me, like they scared me, and they were like ah, like trying to get me comfortable with who they are, and they were communicating with me somehow or another through thoughts, and I was really freaked out because they seemed very, very real.
They didn't seem like any other dream that I had, so much so that I woke up at like 3, 30 in the morning and I just lay in bed for an hour trying to go back to sleep, and I couldn't go back to sleep.
I was almost like I'm not sleep, I'm wide awake, yeah.
And so I went to the gym and I just worked out at four in the morning and it worked out for like two hours and after it was over.
I got in the sauna, did the whole thing, and then I came to work.
I was like I have to talk about this right away because it was so strange.
It was one of the only dreams that I've ever had that did not feel at all like a dream.
It felt like I was encountering someone or something that was trying to get me comfortable with the idea of encountering them.
It wasn't like a dream.
It was, I was in the corridor of something that seemed like it was, it was not like it was from here.
It was like from somewhere else, but it was almost like it was very oddly lit.
Like the walls were lit in a very strange way, but it was almost like it was, it was this corridor, but it had a feeling almost like it was organic, like it was alive, like it was a living thing.
What if, what if that was, but what if that is something that you did, in fact, experience that was taken out of your memory, and then it's stuck in your memory and you're dreaming about it?
And so my feeling was that I had, and this is, again, it clearly was, I was dreaming, right?
So it clearly could have been just a dream.
But what it felt like was that it was an actual encounter with intelligence that wasn't human.
That's what it felt like.
And it felt like these things were not, they were not us.
And maybe they were what a human will be someday because they were human-like, but they were very slender.
They were very thin.
And they were wearing these suits that were like almost like rash guards, like what surfers wear, but a strange fabric.
Like it looked weird.
And it was the color of their skin, but it was clear that they were wearing something.
It didn't appear that they had any genitals.
They had no muscle tone at all.
They were just thin.
And they were communicating with me and looking at me.
And they were close, like where you are right now.
And I think, like I said, I think there was at least three of them.
I think there was four of them.
But I remember there was one that was going like joking around with me, like trying to scare me.
And it felt to me after they did it like, relax.
Like, this is okay.
Like, don't be freaked out.
Whatever this is, don't be freaked out.
And then I woke up.
And when I woke, and then there was also this weird reptilian element of it.
There was like a barrier.
They had a barrier and they were feeding like with, they were like pouring food to these things that almost like was letting me know the protection between you and this horrific danger that's out there in the world, in the universe, in life, is very, it's very thin.
There's very thin protection.
There's not much protection.
It was just like a barrier, like a simple barrier, like a, you know, like a fucking blockade they put to keep a crowd from passing through an area to let you know you're not supposed to go here.
But isn't it so wild that something that didn't happen can be locked in your memory and then you just you're like, God, it affects you almost like it did.
Well, now it's like a memory of my recollection of the memory, which is odd, which is memories in general, which is why people distort memories and change them and make, you know, make the past something that's not real.
Chevy Chase's worst wrestling moments from Saturday Live.
Like, this is just him just stumbling around.
This is nothing.
But there's videos of him.
Okay, obviously that chair is going to break.
No, this is not what I'm looking for.
See if he can find it.
Find it and get back to us.
But there's, I know there's videos of him like literally like flying off stage, landing on his back, slipping, legs up in the air, landing on the ladder.
He was recording, he was secretly recording the opposition party, but he didn't do it.
So the FBI did it, and then they brought it to him knowing that he would cover it up, and that's where he committed the crime.
Like instead of coming out and saying, hey, some people have recorded these people.
Even if he did that, they would have said he was involved.
But the whole thing was to get him out of office.
The reason why they wanted to get him out of office is because he was publicly and privately stating, at least amongst other people that were in the White House, that he knew who killed JFK and he was going to get to the bottom of it.
Because look, JFK had just been killed.
He ran against JFK in 1960.
60 or 62?
62?
What year was it?
Either way, I think it was 60.
He ran against JFK.
And then JFK gets assassinated.
And now he's the president.
And when he's the president, he was publicly stating or privately stating to different people, like he was going to get to the bottom of it, and he knew who killed JFK.
He was like investigating it.
He was interested in it, obviously, because he was worried they were going to kill him.
And so then they set him up and they removed him from office.
And they put Gerald Ford in as his VP.
Gerald Ford was also on the Warren Commission.
Like the whole thing was a giant setup to get rid of the most popular president in the history of the country.
You know, and everybody's like, oh, Nixon's a crook.
Nixon's a crack.
I'm not a crook.
That was all like his gigantic propaganda PR campaign to remove Nixon from office.
I read Wired when I was in college and was like, dude, this is, I mean, there's so many aspects of my personality that I draw from a book like that of like the way he was comfortable in an agent's office and B12 shots I get because of John Belushi.
Well, I'm sure he did all those things, and I'm sure he partied, but like the version, this exaggerated version of just being completely out of control on drugs was fake.
And this is according to Bill Murray, who was best friends with him.
He's like, it's not true.
It's like if somebody tried to write something about you and I read it and I was like, this is not Bird at all.
So his initial thought was, oh my God, they framed Nixon.
It's their tool, and they're perfectly aware of that.
I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer.
I mean, I've been around the New York Times a lot.
And there are a lot of really smart people there for sure, even now.
I would say less so now, but there's still, I think, smart people there.
There are.
I know some.
And they know.
But they think that, you know, it's worth it because they're bringing information.
I don't know what they think, actually.
But no, they're tools of power.
And that's like the one thing that you're not allowed to be.
Even if you think the power is good, like maybe they all support the agenda of the U.S. government, destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population.
Maybe they're on board with that.
Even if they are, they shouldn't do it because the job of the media, the press, is to keep power in check.
You are kind of like the seatbelt, right?
You know, you make sure that things don't go too far.
I mean, if you look at what happened to Richard Nixon, which I, of course, did not understand at all, Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA, and With the help of Bob Woodward, who was a Washington Post reporter, who had been a naval intelligence officer working in the White House, working in the Nixon White House.
And then he shows up like a year later, and he's this brand new reporter.
He'd never been a journalist at all.
He's a naval intel officer, the famous Bob Woodward we all revere.
And he's at the Washington Post, and somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of the Washington Post.
He's the lead guy in that story.
Well, I worked at a newspaper.
I've been in the news business my whole life.
That is not how it works.
You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on the biggest story.
But he was.
He was that guy.
And who is his main source for Watergate?
Oh, the number two guy at the FBI.
Oh, so you have the naval intelligence officer working with the FBI official to destroy the president.
Okay, so that's a deep state coup.
What else?
How would you describe that?
If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say?
And yet the way it was framed and the way that I accepted for decades was, oh, this intrepid reporter fought power.
No, no, no.
This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind, to bounce the single most popular president in American history, Richard Nixon, from office before the end of his term and replace him with who?
Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren Commission.
Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon's vice president?
Well, because Carl Albert, the Democrat Speaker of the House, told him you must choose him.
We will only confirm him when they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasion, Spiro Agnew of Maryland.
So you have a complete setup.
Gerald Ford, the only unelected president in American history, actually sat on the Warren Commission.
Something else that I accepted at face value until I looked at it and was like, that's completely insane.
You didn't want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation of the assassination?
Okay, you're fake.
Yeah, he was on the Warren Commission.
And so, sorry for the long story, but the point is, like, that happened in front of all of us, but the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it.
The people who broke into the Watergate office building from which the name is taken, Watergate, I think it was six of them or seven of them.
All but one was a CIA employee.
That's real.
It's like, look it up on Google.
So the whole thing, Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in American history in the 1972 election.
He was the most popular, by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity, the most popular president in his reelection campaign.
And two years later, he's gone.
Undone by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI, and a bunch of CIA employees.
Deep Throat was W. Mark Felt, the number two official at the FBI during Watergate, who secretly provided key information to Washington Post reporter Bob Woodburn.
So the FBI was involved in the break-in.
The number two official at the FBI was the guy who was providing information under the name Deep Throat.
Independent media that's not connected to any corporation.
Because as soon as you're connected to a corporation, you're connected to advertisers.
As soon as you're connected to advertisers, a giant percentage of advertisers on television is pharmaceutical drug companies, major corporations.
So you have things that you're not allowed to touch.
That's why you never hear anything in all the news about vaccine injuries.
You never.
Never hear about all these people that are having strokes, all these people that are the rise in heart attacks, the rise in myocarditis, particularly amongst young people, blood clots.
Well, it really all depends on whether or not they, I think Tank Abbott would do really well.
I think Tank Abbott would do really well because the heavyweight division is the most shallow division.
Like, would he do really well against the guys like Cyril Gawne or Tom Aspinall?
Probably not.
But he didn't do really well against guys like Maury Smith, you know, the real elite strikers of the day.
But Tank Abbott was a fucking huge man.
I mean, he was an enormous, powerful guy who had ridiculous knockout power, and he would brawl.
And anybody who brawled, like, look at Derek Lewis.
Derek Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the UFC.
And he's not like the most highly skilled guy in the sport.
He's just a really big, powerful guy who has unbelievable knockout power.
And he's still relatively successful even today.
I mean, he has the most knockouts in the history of the heavyweight division.
But Tank Abbott would still fuck a lot of people up in the lower ranks of the heavyweight division.
Dan Severin would still take a lot of people down and beat their asses because he was an elite wrestler.
Like those kind of skills, Mark Coleman would take a lot of people down and beat their asses.
Those skills that they have, like the elite wrestlers and the really powerful punchers, they would always do well.
Hoist Gracie, first of all, if he was fighting in the UFC, he would be fighting without a gi.
So that would be different, right?
So he relied on the gi a lot because he would get a hold of guys and they would grab the gi like instinctively.
And he'd be like, great.
Like that's part, that's what he wanted.
And then once it went to the ground, I mean, it was like a man and a child.
Like his jiu-jitsu was so good.
And for the time, no one even knew jiu-jitsu.
So he was a black belt against white belts and he was just tapping out everybody.
Nobody had a chance.
In this day and age, that's just not the case anymore.
Hoist Gracie still, if he was alive today, or not if he's alive today.
Of course he's alive today.
If he was competing today, if he was a young man competing today, he would still give hell to a lot of people in an appropriate weight class if it went to the ground because his jiu-jitsu is so good.
His striking was always a means to an end.
His striking, he would go at a distance, he would kick at your legs, but his whole thing was about closing the distance, getting you to the ground, strangling you, getting on you an arm bar, tapping you out a triangle, jujitsu.
So he was a pure jiu-jitsu fighter.
And if it went to the ground today, he would still give real problems to a lot of fighters because he was that good.
He was that good on the ground.
And today, with the difference in training partners, he'd be even better.
How did you not have your identity about your career?
Because I know you pretty well, and you never really, like, it's tough to disconnect your identity to your career or your dreams or your hopes, which I think fighters, it's easy to understand.
Athletes, it's easy to understand.
But I think it happens with comedians and actors and even podcasters to say, how did you not do that?
Where everybody thinks you're one thing, but you're actually another thing.
So the people around you don't like you.
And then when the water breaks and everybody starts talking, all the staff start talking shit about you and you realize like, oh, she was a monster.
You know, so I think I had the benefit of having some fame to realize, like, oh, this is not.
Also, I think about things a lot.
I don't just accept things for what they are.
If something's happening, I'm like, okay, but what is this really?
What is this really?
You did listen a little because I remember the one time I called you when you were on a motorcycle in Vietnam and I was like, bro, you got to quit that job.
And you're like, what?
And I was like, you got to, you're a funny comic, man.
You know, it's like I always say, like, thank God I had the right people in my life at the right times.
Because there's so much about, like, I'll tell you, like, you know, with the blood clot thing, they said, you know, I never, every time I got sober, it was always to like just prove I could get sober for a month, you know?
No, you can't have too much iron when you're on blood thinners.
Oh, God.
This whole fucking thing's a nightmare.
But they said sober for six months.
And then I, and then I had a really interesting conversation with my trainer and with Leanne over this conversation.
And they were like, you know, what's so funny is they don't see my lifestyle is partying and everything is disrespectful to my health because I work out, because I get blood work, because I'm sober for everyone.
They were saying, it's disrespectful to people that don't, that just stay online and scroll and don't live their life.
Like, if you're just like, you come home and you lock into video games and you don't go out and you don't really connect with people and then you wake up and you scroll for three hours and then you light a cigarette and you go to work and you come home and you play video games, you're not living your life.
And they're like, Leanne was saying the other day, she's like, you know, don't look like get excited to start drinking again, but make sure that you can measure that, you know?
So apparently a lot of people that have got a ton of boosters got, they have microclots.
And this is one of the things, there was a Canadian doctor that was one of the first guys to get canceled for saying that the vaccine was causing clots because he was one of the first guys that was doing a D-dimer test on all of his patients.
And he found out that this vaccinated patients, the vast majority of them, were having these microclots all throughout their system.
And it was being caused, in his opinion, by the vaccine.
And boy, eventually his business wound up getting burned to the ground.
He lost his medical license.
He lost his practice.
It was a crazy story.
And he was right.
He was right.
And now it's pretty mainstream, like that discussion of it.
And, you know, even doctors who used to prescribe boosters don't prescribe them anymore, which is kind of crazy.
What point in time, like the people that are that used to say you need to get your booster?
Well, how come you're not getting boosters anymore?
That's why the variants over time got less and less.
Like the delta variant was actually pretty strong, but after that they started dropping off.
And then Omicron was pretty nothing.
And then they stopped naming them because it really wasn't just a couple variants.
There's hundreds of them.
They don't even know how many.
And a lot of it is because they vaccinated during a pandemic.
And one of the things that virologists throughout history were always saying is you never vaccinate during a pandemic because when you vaccinate during a pandemic, you actually encourage variants.
Because the vaccine realizes, especially when you have a leaky vaccine, like COVID.
So what a leaky vaccine is, a vaccine that doesn't stop transmission and doesn't stop infection.
What it does is it gives you some protection through antibodies.
But that allows you to get the cold and then the cold realizes, oh, this guy's got these antibodies.
We'll just work around that.
And then people who had antibodies to the original wild virus, once they got vaccinated, this variant would see that they were, or it wouldn't see, but it would have a different pathway because their original immunity was to the wild virus.
The original antibodies were to the first virus that doesn't even exist anymore.
So your body didn't recognize these new variants.
So people get COVID even more easily.
I know I butchered that if you're a virologist.
But there's a guy named Geert Vanderbosch, and he is a vaccine specialist.
He's a virologist.
And one of his, he specializes in vaccines.
And he was one of the early people saying this is madness.
It's so bad for your immune system to drink when you're sick because you just give your immune system this new thing to fight while it's already involved in a fight.
Well, the crazy thing about that CNN thing is I mentioned a bunch of other things that I took.
All of them were very effective.
There wasn't one thing that I mentioned.
I mentioned IV vitamins.
And I took IV NAD, IV vitamins, and then the big one was monoclonal antibodies.
And monoclonal antibodies, they made it really hard for people to get after that because people were just saying, oh, I just need to get monoclonal antibodies and I'm better.
Bro, I shipped monoclonal.
We were using a telemedicine nurse, and it was a part of a nationwide service that you could send people, a nurse, and they would go deliver monoclonal antibodies and IV vitamins.
And the IV vitamins thing, it always existed, but the monoclonal antibodies, they added to it once COVID came.
And I can't tell you how many people that I sent nurses to, people that I didn't even know, people that were friends of friends, my mom's friend, and I'd say, give me the address, tell me who they are, and I'll send it to them.
And I paid for all of it.
And I did it to like at least 100 people.
No bullshit.
At least 100 people.
Yeah, actors who were like super liberal.
I didn't out any of them.
They would send me a DM.
Hey, man, I got COVID.
What should I do?
And I said, where are you?
Tell me where you live.
I'm going to have someone sent to you.
And I'd just send someone to them.
And then they'd come back and thank me.
Very few of them ever thanked me publicly, but a lot of them got the service.
And a lot of people that weren't famous people, just like my friend's mom or my mom or my uncle or my cousin, someone got COVID.
I was exhausted because my friend John, John Shulman, shout out to John.
He makes pool cues, like awesome pool cues.
He lives in Florida.
And I, you know, talk to him back and forth online, but I never hung out with him.
And then I made an appointment to meet him at a pool hall.
And we met at this pool hall and we played pool till like five o'clock in the morning, laughing, having a good time.
And then I got back to the hotel.
I was like, really tired.
I was like, boy, I fucked up.
I went so hard.
Like, we were out and I had a bunch of margaritas and it was late.
You know, it was late at night.
And then in the morning, I just felt like shit.
I took a hot bath.
I felt like shit.
I had a gig that night.
I did a gig that night.
I did an arena with Tony Henchcliffe and Laura Bites.
We did an arena in Florida.
And then I flew back home.
And on the way home, I was cold.
I was like, God, why am I so cold?
Is this airplane cold?
And then when I got home, I told my wife, I'm like, I'm not feeling good.
I go, I might have COVID.
Maybe you should sleep in another room.
Because she had gotten COVID and gotten over it, which, by the way, when she had it, I fucked her.
I didn't even think about it.
I was like, I'm trying to get it.
I never got it.
My whole family got it.
But like, I'm always been the one who's like, always cold plunging, always sauna, always vitamins, always working out.
She works out too, but it's like she got it, you know, and my kids got it.
And I was home.
I hugged them like, Daddy, you're going to get it.
I'm like, I'm getting shit.
I never got it.
I had two days when I worked out where I didn't feel that good.
So when I worked out, I just took it light.
I just went through the routine like nice and easy, not pushing myself.
And then the next day, still don't feel that good.
Nice and easy.
And then the third day, I'm like, I feel pretty fucking good.
And I went pretty hard.
I'm like, feel great.
And it was done.
I never got COVID.
And then that one time I got it.
And then I didn't get it that bad.
The one day I felt like shit.
I got all the meds.
And then, you know, a couple days later, I made that video and I put that video up.
But that was honest.
I was like, I got COVID.
I got all this medicine.
I feel better now.
They didn't like the idea that this healthy person was saying you could get over this.
And also a healthy person that's in their 50s was saying you can get over this and you don't need this radical experimental medicine that they're trying to push on people.
The problem is when you have big neck muscles, like football players, a lot of them, most of them have sleep apnea because all those muscles constrict the walls of your throat.
So like there's all this tissue that didn't exist before.
And then you have this fat tongue.
So I can't sleep on my back.
If I sleep on my back, it's like, that's me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Breathing through the nose during sleep offers key health advantages over mouth breathing.
It filters and conditions air for better lung efficiency and promotes deeper rest.
Nasal passages filter dust, allergens, and pollutants while warming and humidifying air, protecting the airwaves from irritation.
This reduces dryness in the mouth and throat common with mouth breathing.
Nose breathing keeps the tongue positioned correctly against the palate and jaw forward, maintaining an open airway that minimize snoring and sleep apnea episodes.
Mouth breathing allows the tongue to fall back, obstructing airflow, which definitely happens to me.
Improved oxygenagation.
Jesus.
Oxygenation and relaxation.
It boosts nitric oxide production for better oxygen uptake and blood flow, supporting deeper sleep cycles and parasympathetic nervous system activation for relaxation.
This leads to fewer awakenings and higher sleep quality.
Look, for me, I know for a fact it helps for a fact.
For my personal feeling, when I wake up in the morning and I tape my mouth shut, I feel way better.
Well, you lose objective reality from people that are supposed to be giving you information, right?
So they're not giving you reality.
What they're giving you is a filtered narrative that has been promoted by major corporations that have a vested interest in profiting off of this narrative being pushed forward.
Like, if you don't get the vaccine, you're going to die, right?
My friend Lou, he was one of the writers on news radio.
And he would show up for the table read with a t-shirt that had the number of our rating on it.
And one day he showed up and the number was 88.
And I was like, 88?
He's like, I'm like, fuck.
I was like, God, because we got moved nine times over the course of five years.
Like, I remember, like, one of the things that just like social media poisons people, back then, it was Variety and the Hollywood Reporter.
So all of the cast would be sitting around reading variety about how good Sex in the City was doing and the single guy.
And, you know, because they would sandwich them in between Friends and Seinfeld.
And, you know, Paul Sims, the producer of news radio, would call it a shit sandwich because you would have these two really good shows in between these shows that were not that good.
They would call it Caroline and the shitty.
And like everybody was upset.
And so they would read these things in variety.
They'd look at the ratings and they'd get all upset and start getting pissed off.
And that show sucks.
Why is that show doing so well?
Why aren't we on Thursday night?
And I remember saying, oh, last time I checked, I'm on TV.
I go, do you know we're on a TV show?
Do you know how few people get to be on a sitcom?
I go, yeah, we're not number one.
Well, good.
Then no one knows who we are and we get to be on TV and we get to have fun.
And some people enjoy it.
We're making so much money.
Like, how can you be upset?
We could not be on TV.
Like, yeah, we're not number one.
Yeah, we have a really good show that's not being recognized.
It eventually was recognized when it went to syndication.
So news radio really only got popular in syndication.
So when I went to Netflix, they were like, we want to do a show with you.
I was like, great.
And they're like, what's the show?
I said, it's my family.
I'm Burt Kreischer, Georgia and Isla, Leanne.
I'm a comedian.
I'm me.
Everything's the same.
Nothing changes.
I don't have a job.
I'm this guy.
And they're like, okay.
I go, but it's meet slow horses.
And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
I said, all I can tell you is I don't want to do episodic.
I want slow horses.
I said, when I watch slow horse, and this is why Ron's compliment was so kind, because I created the show so that me, Jared, and Andy, I should be able to do it.
They're a group of like low-grade spies that all kind of got put into an office off to the side, but they don't realize how important their office still is.
They're still very ingrained in all the shit that the big office is doing, but they're the B team.
And so the big office is constantly fucking with the little office.
I go, the first episode, at that last line, I say, the very last line of that first episode, I want you to look at the person you're with and go, I'm watching all fucking six.
And so it's an arc.
It's a six-story arc.
It's basically a two-hour and 30-minute movie that you can stop at any point.
And the compliment I've been getting is the one Ron gave me.
When we did the premiere in LA, Netflix came up to me and shout out to Netflix.
And they were like, you know, when you pitched this, we had no idea what you were fucking selling us.
Like when you said black doves and slow horses, like that, those were your comps.
And then they were like, we watched that first episode and they're like, you fucking did it.
Like you made a show where at that very end of that first episode, at that moment, and the very beginning of the second episode, I have a joke about you.
But I thought I'd throw one in.
You gave me a little love in your special.
I'd give me a little love back.
And so at the very end of that first episode, I wanted it so that you go, oh, this guy's fucked.
I got to see how he gets out of this.
And that's the compliment I've been getting from people is that they watched all of them.
They binged it.
And that's like, it's like, because, you know, you try to do something a little different.
And that's why when you said that, you didn't submit, I fucking connected so hard because I was like, I don't need it to be, it's not going to be the number one show on Netflix.
It's never going to be the greatest show they ever made.
There's too many good shows.
But the fact that people have liked it, I go, I think I won.
You know, and or someone posting on social media, like, oh, this fucking, someone that I respect on social media posting it and saying, hey, you need to watch this.
It's a documentary by Werner Herzog about it was trying to him and another guy, another guy did it.
He was trying to do a documentary called Nub City, right?
It was about this place in Florida where a lot of people had lost limbs and were collecting insurance money.
And he went in to do a documentary about that, and he got his life threatened, but he had all this footage.
So I think Werner Herzog came in and dumped a little money in it, and he just made the bizarrest documentary about a guy talking about turkey hunting and another guy talking about like it's like four different personalities, Joe.
These guys that live in a small village in Siberia, and they're just fishermen and trappers and hunters.
And they basically just live off the land and they're so happy.
There's like no mental illness.
Everybody works really hard.
It's freezing cold at night.
They're always drinking and everyone's happy.
And it's called Happy People, Life in the Taiga.
A great documentary because it just shows you that, like without struggle, you will create struggle.
And when you have struggle all the time, like physical struggle, people seem to be satisfied and happy, especially when they're living off the land, living like a subsistence lifestyle, they're out in the forest, they're catching fish and it's it's a great documentary.
Because I remember we went to a birthday party at your house and your wife introduced my girls and Lean to chickens and lean and the girls immediately got chickens.
Chickens are awesome.
The happiest my family was out of all the times we've been happy was when they were they had a garden and they were raising chickens.
So I think there's human reward systems that are built in us that if you don't meet those requirements, your body gets anxious.
And the most anxiety-ridden, fucked up, mentally ill people I know are these lazy slobs that are online all day complaining about people, especially comics.
I know so many comics that they spend a giant chunk of their day shitting on other comics and they're all fat and lazy.
And what is that?
Well, it's because they're not healthy.
They're not mentally healthy, physically healthy.
And so they're completely obsessed with other things, external things.
You know, when we did that sober October challenge, Tommy said it best because he was like, dude, when you work out, when we're all competing against each other to see who got the highest fitness scores, Tommy said it best, like when you work out all day, it kills all that internal chatter.
Like you don't worry about things anymore.
Oh, that what about this?
What about that?
That what about this?
What about that shit?
Is your mind thinking there's threats out there in the world?
Because there used to be.
Because you're programmed to think about like what's out there?
What's coming from me?
Is there a neighboring tribe that's coming over the top of the hill?
Where am I going to get my food?
There's all that stuff built in as a human reward system.
If you don't meet that human reward system, you're just doom scrolling on TikTok and Twitter all day and shitting on people like, fuck Whitney Cummings and Miss Rachel.
They're just mentally ill slobs, all of them.
And their opinion should be dismissed.
That's why the idea of awards is so ridiculous.
Who are these people that are giving you awards?
They're all unhealthy people for the most part.
They're all weirdos that are caught up in this fucking bizarre, strange industry that rewards groupthink.
I don't think we should do that again because the problem with that is that lit up that weird part of my brain, that obsessive part of my brain.
And my wife asked me never to do that again.
Because I was like super serious.
I got like really into it.
And it just became an obsession.
It's a dangerous part of my own brain that I can't entertain too much.
Because I think that's the part of my brain that was formulated in my competition days where it was like my thought was, you know, like I would go to the, because I had keys to the school.
So I'd go and train at 2 o'clock in the morning because I knew nobody else was.
I knew everybody else was asleep.
So I'd go there.
I'd drive there by myself and unlock the doors and start training at 2 o'clock in the morning because I knew everybody was asleep.
Michael Jordan and Kelly Slater, the two ones, Tiger Woods, that I hear about, and I identify with the way their brain works where I go, oh, I have that grossness, where I create scenarios in my head to go, that's it.
I'm going to fucking, I'd build up a rivalry with, I have a guy that I think about to this day who played baseball at Tampa Catholic.
His name was Israel, and I had a competitive name.
The guy didn't even know who the fuck I am.
He never knew me.
He was a pitcher.
And I fucking, and I, and I apologize, Israel, if you're hearing this right now.
We were 16, and I had a competitiveness in my head.
And my goal was to hit him, to hit a line drive right back in, and he was a pitcher.
And he threw inside, and I crushed one off his kneecap, and they pulled him out of the game, and I stood on first base.
And so And when I got into stand-up, maybe because I just saw that so many people were so far beyond me that I was like, well, I'm not playing their game, I guess.
So I'm not, I never had a competitiveness in stand-up.
Listen, you could, there's a good place for competitiveness.
I mean, I am competitive, no doubt, but I don't think about it in terms of like art.
I think my competition with either stand-up or with podcasting is to be the best I can be, to do the best job I can.
Like if I have a guy on and he's wants to talk about some science stuff or something like esoteric or I have to read his book or listen to the audio book.
I have to read articles.
I have to get in.
I have to do my best.
This guy's going to fly in here from Europe or whatever it is.
I have to be ready and I have to be intrigued.
And the only reason why I have on the podcast in the first place is because I'm interested in it.
So my thing is just do the best that I can.
And the way that I could do it the best I can is only talk to people that I want to talk to.
Only reach out to people that I'm actually interested in.
Only accept invitations of someone that ignites my curiosity.
And just only do it that way.
Never say, oh, this person would be great because they're famous.
Like this is one of the things you see about some of these podcasts that are doing well.
All of their guests are famous, right?
Which is like a built-in cheat code.
Like, let's see what this guy, and I have famous people on all the time.
If I think they're interesting, if I want to talk to them.
But I pass on a lot of famous people because I'm not interested in them.
Or because they were like really heavily pushing the vaccine during the pandemic.
But what's crazy to me is like we were, me and you, not, I can't speak for the younger comics, but we were in a time at stand-up when competitiveness was the norm.
It was like everybody thought they were competing for a very small amount of slots.
And then what happened was the internet came along and we realized that, no, in fact, we're actually an asset to each other because we do each other's podcasts.
We hang out with each other, which makes each other better.
When we're all on a show together and you're killing and Tom's killing and Ari's killing, the more people are killing, the more we're going to do better because we're going to get excited about it.
And so we became valuable to each other instead of competitive against each other.
And if there was any competition that you were having with your friends, it was actually healthy competition because it just made you try harder.
Like if you saw, if Ari went up and did like when Ari did his Jew special, which was fucking incredible, that special was so good.
It made so many people get inspired to work on a theme and write and like really try to develop something.
Like look at what he did.
He just put together this fucking incredible special.
Like it was really fucking good.
And that kind of competition is healthy competition.
It's inspirational.
Instead of like saying, I hope that guy gets hit by a bus, fuck him.
All these slobs that are on Twitter and they're talking shit about comedians and are angry about comedians, they have one thing in common.
They're almost all failures.
They're either failures or they're extremely mediocre.
They're in the middle of like mediocrity.
No one's got them as their favorite comedian.
No one's got them as their favorite podcaster.
No one's got them as anything.
They just don't do that well.
So what do they do?
They're attacking people.
So their competitiveness is a very unhealthy competitiveness.
If their competitiveness was healthy, they would say, well, what is it about this person where she's getting all these comedy specials and she's in front of all these roasts?
Why is Nikki Glazer doing so well and I'm not?
Instead of hating on Nikki Glazer, you know, but that's not what like a narcissist does.
Well, what about me?
How come I'm not getting that?
So she doesn't talk about sucking cock, that fucking bitch.
And then they get all fucking angry and they start talking shit about her.
Meanwhile, she still kills it.
She's still on the road.
She's still selling out.
She's still getting out there.
Everybody screams and cheers.
Why?
Because she put in the work.
And if you put in the work and if you looked at yourself and you objectively analyzed what you're doing and said, why is this going well?
Why is this not going well?
And worked harder, you would be where she is.
But you're not.
So what are you doing?
You're on Twitter every day for 12 hours like a fucking mental patient just shitting on people and getting in arguments and saying mean things.
Like you're going to just, it's crabs in a bucket.
You're just trying to pull people down that are doing better than you.
And it's like, if I hang out with the best fucking comics in the world, if I surround myself with the best comics in the world, I'm going to have to get better.
Yes.
Like, I'm going to get better.
And I remember, I can tell you, like, the first time I saw your Kim or your Caitlin Jenner joke of the gargoyles.
Yeah, and you're on the stool and you got the stool and the gargoyle.
I remember watching that crying, laughing, going, I'm not using the stage at all.
Like, I'm not using the stage.
Like, goddamn it.
Or I remember Burr doing an act out.
And I never expected Burr to do an act out.
He was talking to an immigrant kid he hired that lived in the bushes or that he adopted.
He goes, So and say he's not going to live in the house.
We're going to keep in the bushes.
He's like, come on, man.
There's a reason he's in bushes.
But he was doing an act out.
And I remember going, like, God damn it, man.
I don't ever do act outs.
Like, I think I always surrounded myself around better comics to like see what the meal was being made and go like, well, shit, I'm just making french fries.
Because I think sometimes the best jokes you tell are like you don't realize you're telling a joke.
You don't realize it's a bit.
And then someone goes, yo, man.
Like I remember we were doing a new material night one night and I got off stage and you walked up to me and you go, did you really not know that Helen Kellen and Anne Frank weren't the same person?
And I was like, yeah, I used to think they're the same person.
The Helen Keller one's because there's doctors that have said, like, there's, it was medical records at the time where people said she was responding to light.
Medical board archives from 1902 to 1924 do not contain examination reports showing Helen Keller had functional vision and hearing throughout a disabled life.
And the conspiracy that Keller was a cash cow for Sullivan is debunked by the fact that Keller's full life continued with another companion, Polly Thompson, who also interpreted for her.
That doesn't mean anything.
That means that other person could be in on it as well.
He was fighting with his wife, and he grabbed her by the back of the arm to leave, and I thought he was just grabbing her by the back of the arm like a dick.
And I was like, hey, and then he turned around and he had sunglasses on and a cane.
And I realized that's the only way he could get to the gate.
The look on the black guy's face at TSA when I couldn't see that he was blind already and he grabbed his wife's arm and I went, hey, and the black guy went, oh shit.
Like not knowing you're talking shit to a blind guy.
Said medical board archives from 1902 to 1924 allegedly contain examination reports suggesting Helen Keller retained partial vision and hearing throughout her life.
According to those claims, multiple physicians noted she reacted to sounds when Ann Sullivan was not present, tracked movement with her eyes, and physically flinched at loud noises.
One sealed report is said to conclude, I don't like that, is said to conclude that her responses pointed to coordinated deception rather than true disability.
Sullivan allegedly discovered Keller at age seven, promoted a miraculous teaching breakthrough, and toured the country, charging the modern equivalent of thousands per appearance.
Supporters of the claim say Keller's autobiography noticeably changed tone when Sullivan became ill, suggesting Sullivan authored both voices.
Financial records are said to show Sullivan controlled all income, keeping Keller financially dependent for life.
Linguistic analytics cited by conspiracy supporters claim Keller's writings mirrored Sullivan's private letters exactly matching vocabulary, sentence structure, and even spelling mistakes.
They argue that Keller wrote without Sullivan present, that when Keller wrote Without Sullivan Present, the work appeared elementary, concluding that her eloquent public words came from Sullivan, not Keller.
According to the theory, disability organizations later built massive institutions around Keller's story.
When evidence questioning her condition surfaced, it was allegedly suppressed due to rather protect a lucrative charity, an inspiration-based industry that relied on a powerful symbolic figure.
And the thing about the Lance Armstrong thing is, you know, you could say Lance Armstrong cheated and he'll tell you he cheated, but the reality is everyone cheated.
If you wanted to go back into the archives when he won Tour de France and figure out like who didn't test positive, you had to go to 18th place.
Well, he was also suing people who were saying that he took stuff because they were whistleblowers because they went after them first and said, listen, if you blow the whistle on Lance, we'll get you off the hook.