May 31, 2024 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:07:33
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| What's up, Sal? | ||
| What's up, brother? | ||
|
unidentified
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How you doing? | |
| Good to see you, man. | ||
| What's cracking? | ||
| Thanks for having me, man. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| What are you doing out here, man? | ||
| What are you doing in Austin, Texas? | ||
| My special comes out today, actually. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Special goes, Terrified. | ||
| What's it on? | ||
| YouTube. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm very happy when guys do that. | ||
| It makes it easily accessible. | ||
| It's the best thing for distributing your stuff. | ||
| People share it easy. | ||
| It's nice that that's a good option now, because when everybody turns you down, It's a great option. | ||
| It's still like, well, I still got a good option. | ||
| I would think about it even if it, you know, even if I had other options, just because I think it's like the best distribution platform, as long as they don't fucking censor you, which is a little bit of an issue. | ||
| You know, they're owned by Google, and it's just like, whenever you're dealing with these giant corporations, and there's all these fucking woke kids working for them, it's a lot of sketchy things happen. | ||
| But as far as a platform, it's the best. | ||
| It's great, right? | ||
| Oh, it's so good. | ||
| I don't really like, I'm not like edgy like that, so I don't really have any of that. | ||
| My edgiest stuff is not that edgy. | ||
| That's good. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that's lucky. | ||
| Yeah, because like Ari Shafir, when he was putting his out, I was like, sure. | ||
| He executive produced it. | ||
| Oh, he executive produced yours? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| We're really tight, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, someone, we were just talking about, someone gave him shit for releasing his on YouTube. | ||
| I'm like, you're so short-sighted. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| I'll look at it now. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking huge. | ||
| What does it have, like 7 million downloads or something like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, people are stupid, man. | ||
| They just have this silly idea of, like, these gatekeepers, these fucking institutions, which, you know, look, you got a Netflix special, it's great. | ||
| Like, the Tom Brody roasts, great. | ||
| I'm happy Netflix is doing cool shit like that. | ||
| It's awesome, but... | ||
| Did you watch it throughout three hours? | ||
| No. | ||
| I watched Tony Hinchcliffe's set and Andrew Schultz's set and that's it. | ||
| You've seen Nikki's? | ||
| I heard Nikki's was awesome. | ||
| I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| I heard Nikki killed it. | ||
| Yeah, she killed it. | ||
| She goes hard. | ||
| She kills those roasts, man. | ||
| She kills those roasts. | ||
| She's really good at roasts. | ||
| She's strong. | ||
| She's got strong delivery. | ||
| And even when she was shitting on Jeff Ross, I did see that part. | ||
|
unidentified
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When she was apologizing to him while she was shitting on him. | |
| Which is so Nikki Glaser. | ||
| She's so sweet. | ||
| That Hingscliff one with the Liver King. | ||
| You look like the... | ||
| I'm going to fuck it up. | ||
| But the Liver King and the Tiger King had a baby that looked like... | ||
| Martin Luther King. | ||
| He got beat up by Rodney King. | ||
| Rodney King and bit by the Lion King or some shit like that. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| It was a ride. | ||
| It was such a ride. | ||
| By the time he finished it, it was just like, if it was one king shorter, I didn't think it would hit as well. | ||
| But that extra king was the perfect- It was a monster bit. | ||
| It was five kings, I think. | ||
| It was a monster bit. | ||
| And then the other one where Jeff was so Jewish, he only watches football for the coin toss. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| I fucking love a roast. | ||
| I love a good roast joke. | ||
| You know what's so funny? | ||
| It's like, you know where you're going with Jeff or Jewish or whatever, but it's like, you still find a new way to be like, you watch this with a coin toss, you know what I mean? | ||
| You can tell that joke a million ways. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| But I'm still like, oh my god, that's such a good way to tell it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| I think people have relaxed more with comedy over the last year or so, for whatever reason. | ||
| It feels like it dipped a little bit, that whole... | ||
| Yeah, I feel like people are tired of it all. | ||
| They realize that it's all just fucking sanctimonious horseshit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mm-hmm. | |
| Want any coffee? | ||
| Get some coffee if you want some of this. | ||
| Maybe you have to just throw a coat. | ||
| Oh, throw a coat. | ||
| Are we doing a lot of shows? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Actually, I have, yeah. | ||
| We got the COVID. No, my baby got me sick. | ||
| That'll do it. | ||
| Those little kids get sick a lot. | ||
| I was fighting for a while, and then a few days ago, it just took a dive. | ||
| Do you take vitamins? | ||
| Every single day, and I get mocked for it. | ||
| You should not get mocked. | ||
| My dad, growing up, he used to take... | ||
| We had one cabinet in the kitchen, one, and we opened it, and it was basically a mini GNC. Not like GNC, but it was just an everyday... | ||
| My whole life, I'd watch him throw down 30 pills and just swig it. | ||
| But me, I feel like I have a weak immune system. | ||
| I've got a weak constitution. | ||
| So I try to take the liposome. | ||
| It's all like, I take a D, a B, a C. I was taking a multi, and then you start hearing, oh, it doesn't absorb, and you've got to take this one and that one. | ||
| So I take all immunity stuff. | ||
| Echinacea, elderberry. | ||
| What the fuck else do I take? | ||
| What do you think causes your weak immune system? | ||
| Have you ever thought about it? | ||
| Yeah, I think about it my whole entire life. | ||
| What do you think it is? | ||
| Do you think it's just a genetic thing? | ||
| I don't know, because no one else in my family is like that. | ||
| So that's what led me to becoming a little bit of a germaphobe. | ||
| Because, you want to call it germaphobe, but I just know that if I put myself in the way of, like if someone sneezes, if I put myself in that, sometimes I can get a common cold. | ||
| How long does it take you to get rid of the common cold? | ||
| Like a day. | ||
| Yeah, but you're like, you eat elk and... | ||
| Yeah, just, you know, I've had a few that last a couple of days, but it's usually one day before I don't feel good. | ||
| But I've only had a couple of those recently, and I assume they were the new COVID. Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I assume... | ||
| And you got it written in a day. | ||
| Yeah, I assume this last one I got was the new COVID. This last one I got, I didn't even do the IV vitamins. | ||
| I was just too busy to sit down and just... | ||
| What are they calling it? | ||
| New Coke? | ||
| Like New Coke? | ||
| There's so many strains, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we did a thing where they were trying to... | ||
| We were reading about it online where they were trying to document all the strains. | ||
|
unidentified
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How many were they up to, Jamie? | |
| It's a crazy number. | ||
| There's a lot of streams. | ||
| I thought there was like four streams. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| There's dozens. | ||
| They keep coming around. | ||
| New ones come around. | ||
| New variants come around. | ||
| What they're saying is this is just how we're going to be forever. | ||
| That stuff's just out there in the wild now. | ||
| Those little gremlins. | ||
| So, that doesn't bode well for me. | ||
| Common cold, one to two weeks, min. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I've had a cold like five, six weeks many times. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Lingering, not like, you know, full on. | ||
| Do you ever do IV vitamins? | ||
| I've only done it twice in my life. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I shot the special in December in Chicago. | ||
| And the day of, I woke up and I had a cold. | ||
| Just because I was just running myself into the ground, right? | ||
| So I woke up, my throat was like, it was hurting me. | ||
| It was like scratchy. | ||
| My voice was raspy and I had like no energy. | ||
| I'm like freaking the fuck out, right? | ||
| I get to the theater, and I'm telling them, like, I don't know what to do. | ||
| Like, I feel so weak. | ||
| I got to do something. | ||
| So, Ari's feeding me these all day long. | ||
| He's feeding me these Barocca tablets. | ||
| They're like these vitamin-dissolving tablets. | ||
| Right, he's into those. | ||
| Yeah, they're like a billion percent, whatever, right? | ||
| So, he's feeding me those, and then I get to the place, and they get me the IV, and the guy gives me a B12 shot. | ||
| And then I had just started Vyvanse. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's for ADHD. So it's like an Adderall almost. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And I had just started it a few days earlier. | ||
| So I'm like not really, it hasn't really like, I'm not really regulated to it yet. | ||
| And I just didn't realize that his, the tablets Ari would give me, I looked back afterwards and they were like, they all had caffeine. | ||
| And then I got this B12 shot 20 minutes before the first show. | ||
| And I was on the Vyvanse, which is Adderall, and it was the highest dose. | ||
| I didn't realize that this was all happening to me. | ||
| And like three minutes before I went out, I was the most wired I ever was in my entire life. | ||
| I was like literally... | ||
| And then I had the adrenaline just because it was my first taping. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| I was holding my hand and it was doing this. | ||
| And I was like, Ari, you gave me three of these fucking things today. | ||
| Every one of them has 200 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| He's like, I didn't give you three. | ||
| I'm like, you gave me three. | ||
| You didn't give me... | ||
| How do you look me in the face? | ||
| We were both there. | ||
| It's not like I'm hearing this second hand. | ||
|
unidentified
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And then I think the B12 shot just put it over the top. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| And it was like... | ||
| What a combination. | ||
| Time was bad. | ||
| I didn't use one second from show one. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Not one second. | ||
| The... | ||
| Is it like an Adderall or is it like a cousin? | ||
| It's Adderall. | ||
| It's basically Adderall. | ||
| Yeah, it's like same exact thing. | ||
| And why did you think you needed that? | ||
| Why do you think you needed that at all? | ||
| I mean, I suffer from ADHD and a little OCD for my whole life. | ||
| So what does that mean? | ||
| When you say ADHD, how does it manifest itself in your life? | ||
| So many ways. | ||
| Mainly the thing that affects my life is I can't focus. | ||
| I can't focus on something for... | ||
| Especially if I'm up and down days, but I can't focus on something for more than... | ||
| If I'm trying to complete something, I will complete it. | ||
| Like, what kind of stuff? | ||
| Like, if I'm writing, or if I have just stuff to do, anything at all, paying bills, anything where I have to use my mind. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'll plant my ass down, and I'll be trying to, like, write or send an email or whatever, and my leg is shaking like crazy because I don't want to sit there. | ||
| I just, like... | ||
| And I just... | ||
| It's helped because I can multitask like 500 things at once, but it also hurts because it's really hard to get something done. | ||
| I can't remember anything, so I have like 50 lists in my phone. | ||
| They're all labeled and prioritized. | ||
| That helps me, but I have to use that, otherwise I won't remember anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I have trouble reading. | ||
| Like I'll read a page and then I will be like, I have no idea it was on that page. | ||
| I have to read the page again. | ||
| So I end up reading really slow. | ||
| Is it with everything you read or is it only some stuff? | ||
| Is there anything that you read where that's not a problem? | ||
| Books are tough, like long form reading. | ||
| Like fiction or nonfiction? | ||
| Just like just a lot of pages in between two covers. | ||
| The genre doesn't play into the factor. | ||
| So not even like a really, like there's not one book that just captivated you and you like easily could read it? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, when I'm really, I mean, like I said, there's good and bad days, so like, you know, if I'm reading like a biography or I'm really into it, I don't really read fiction. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, but I like biographies, really. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| If something like that... | ||
| But honestly, it's really tough. | ||
| I really don't read as much as... | ||
| Do you have any books I've bought? | ||
| I have a lot of books, but so many aren't open. | ||
| One day I'm going to read that. | ||
| Dude, I have this guilt that I think about that I know I'm not going to do it. | ||
| I owe it to myself to read all these books, and I just keep picturing myself on my deathbed. | ||
| I just wanted to read that book. | ||
| It's wasted money. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But it's also nice to have books in your house. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I have this weird theory about books that I haven't read that are cool. | ||
| It's like at least they're near me. | ||
| At least I'm getting the energy off of that book. | ||
| That really good book. | ||
| Whoever wrote it, whatever it is. | ||
| Yeah, I can see that. | ||
| If I know that book's awesome, it's sitting right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't even listen to audiobooks. | ||
| Do you think audiobooks would be the solve? | ||
| It doesn't help you. | ||
| No, I can't listen to someone. | ||
| Unless it's really, really good about it. | ||
| It's hard to listen to someone drone on. | ||
| It's hard, but a lot of them are really good at it. | ||
| There's some really good voiceover actor guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Including they do fiction, so they do a bunch of different voices. | ||
| It's a real art form now. | ||
| It's almost like old-timey radio stories or something. | ||
| Yeah, that I love. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| My buddy I do a show with, he has a bunch of books out, published. | ||
| And one of the things we... | ||
| When does this come out? | ||
| He's gonna... | ||
| Oh, I don't know if I'm supposed to say. | ||
| So we keep a lot of secrets from each other. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then surprise each other on the show. | ||
| The show, if you don't know, people don't know, it's just called Impractical Jokers. | ||
| Me and my buddies of 35 years. | ||
| Fucking huge show, dude. | ||
| It's gigantic. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| I remember when guys were talking about it in the parking lot of the store when it was just blowing up and people were talking about your shows that you were doing. | ||
| You guys were doing shows and they were just mobbed and everybody's like, that show is huge. | ||
| Yeah, it was wild. | ||
| Not expected or anything. | ||
| It was on true TV, you know. | ||
| Yeah, which is like not a network where people really blow up from, right? | ||
| There's a few though, but it just shows you if something's fun, people find it. | ||
| Yeah, well, there was nothing like it. | ||
| They only did, they had, no joke, they had two different porn shows. | ||
| This is when we got on. | ||
| They had two different porn shows, three different towing shows, and two storage shows. | ||
| And then they showed the stupidest criminals of all time. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| So we were the first comedy. | ||
| So I guess it kind of resonated on the channel because we were alone in that manner. | ||
| I heard a lot of those storage shows are for Gaze. | ||
| So much of all the reality stuff is... | ||
| Oh, a lot of it is, yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'd say 95%. | ||
| There's a lot of finagling going on behind the scenes with the truth, just for narratives and stuff. | ||
| If you pause the credits, there's always that fine print in the credits. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're allowed to, like, they use it to create a theatrical piece that's not necessarily representative of what actually happened. | ||
| I mean, bro, they've been looking for Bigfoot for nine seasons now. | ||
| Well, no, it's more than that, right? | ||
| How many seasons of Finding Bigfoot? | ||
| Versions of the show that are, like, refinding him or researching Bigfoot. | ||
| Refinding him. | ||
| Refinding him. | ||
| Looking again. | ||
| So many... | ||
| So many fucking dorks in the woods. | ||
| Looking for nothing. | ||
| Even ghosts. | ||
| I'm more interested in ghosts than I am Bigfoot. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| The thing about Bigfoot is I think it was probably a real animal and I think there's some ancient stories that are passed down for thousands of years. | ||
| I think that's probably what it was. | ||
| But ghosts are weird because they're in every culture. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I haven't experienced a ghost but I imagine if I did Trying to explain it to someone and not sounding like a fucking maniac, like just a crazy person. | ||
| Oh, I saw a ghost. | ||
| Let me try. | ||
| Okay, you seen one? | ||
| Didn't see one, but here's the thing. | ||
| I don't believe in ghosts. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But then I had this happen to me, and now I don't really know what to feel. | ||
| Cue the spooky music. | ||
| Any spooky music over there, Jamie? | ||
| My family believes in ghosts. | ||
| They're all for it. | ||
| My sister had a thing. | ||
| She lived at home and she came home one day and she opened a door to her room and every single one of her closet drawers were open. | ||
| Every single thing that could be opened in the room was open. | ||
| And it freaked her out a little bit. | ||
| And she asked if anyone did it. | ||
| And it was just my stepmom, my dad. | ||
| They said no. | ||
| And she was like, felt uncomfortable about that. | ||
| And then she closed everything. | ||
| And then like, whatever. | ||
| She used to lock it after that. | ||
| And then she locked it. | ||
| And one day, like months later, she had locked it. | ||
| She came and she opened it. | ||
| They were all open again. | ||
| I tell her, I don't even believe. | ||
| She's not lying to me, but I don't know what to make of it, but I don't think it's a ghost. | ||
| But my grandfather... | ||
| That's not that spooky. | ||
| That's like the Hulk. | ||
| I was about to get a massage. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, that was like, I was waiting for the candles to be lit. | |
| But my grandfather died in the house, but like... | ||
| But that's not what I was saying. | ||
| One night I was home. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| It was foggy out. | ||
| So I used to live alone. | ||
| And I'm in bed. | ||
| And I'm laying in bed. | ||
| My television is on. | ||
| And I do lock... | ||
| Even when I live alone, I lock my bedroom door when I go to sleep. | ||
| I lock my bathroom door when I'm taking a shower. | ||
| I always have. | ||
| So my door's locked, and I'm laying there, and I'm watching TV, and I sleep with a CPAP. So what's good about that is I can go all the way under the covers like a cocoon, and I still have a form of to breathe. | ||
| So I like wrap myself like a fucking burrito for real. | ||
| It's so delightful. | ||
| You're breathing, you're scuba diving! | ||
| There's just a hose coming out of it. | ||
| Bro, you're scuba diving in your sleep. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| So I love it. | ||
| So I wrap myself over my head and everything. | ||
| And what I really do, like what's really fun when you're in there is to like just poke out a foot or a hand and just get like a cool breeze. | ||
| And then wonder about what's under the bed that's gonna bite your feet. | ||
| Sure, a little bit. | ||
| It depends on the night, right? | ||
| That foot's out there dangling. | ||
| It does feel very cold. | ||
| I don't like haunts, I will tell you that. | ||
| I don't believe in ghosts, but haunted houses and scares, we can get into that later. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| What are they haunted by? | ||
| Well, like fake ones, even, I'm saying. | ||
| I don't even like the go-through. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| No, I don't like that shit. | ||
| That's funny, because a guy likes to play jokes on people, you would think. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, well, do I really play jokes? | ||
| I don't know what I do, really. | ||
| Pranks. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the four of us. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy shit we did. | ||
| You don't like a good haunted house? | ||
| They jump out of nowhere and scare the fuck out of you? | ||
| I'll tell you how much I don't like that. | ||
| We went... | ||
| On the show, they know I don't like it, so they created... | ||
| One time they put me in a cornfield, and they made it haunted, and I had to navigate it, and then the next time they upped it, and they got an old mansion, and they completely built it all out and made it haunted, and just put me in there, locked the door, and made me alone in the mansion. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| Did you want to really see, like, a collection of shit that'll freak you out? | ||
| Go to Zach Bagan's thing in Vegas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, is that that, like, thing where they get really weird with you? | ||
| He's got this... | ||
| Like, it's a visceral thing, like they put a gun in your throat and stuff like that? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He's got this crazy mansion in Vegas that's like a museum of haunted shit. | ||
| A museum of, like, they have, um... | ||
| Dr. Kevorkian, the van where he killed people. | ||
| They have the van. | ||
| Yeah, they have a bunch of stuff that Ted Bundy owned and a bunch of stuff that Ed Gain owned. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it's a creepy fucking play. | |
| This is the one... | ||
| I had the thing on my... | ||
| This is the... | ||
| You stupidest! | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, you're gross! | |
| - What? - I, yeah, I mean, look, See, now, you know what? | ||
| I had to threaten that girl. | ||
| Because I know... | ||
| Look, here's the deal. | ||
| She's not a ghost. | ||
| I know she's not even like that. | ||
| I'm not crazy. | ||
| I just don't like the jump scares. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| Like in the cornfield, they've had a little girl, right? | ||
| And I was 20 minutes into this cornfield. | ||
| We have this little labor laws here. | ||
| This girl's just standing there waiting for me. | ||
| She's in like a dress. | ||
| She's a little girl with pigtails. | ||
| And I see her in the distance, and I go, is that a little girl? | ||
| And then she just raised her hand and pointed at me. | ||
| And I had to follow this path that they laid out, and it had to go past the girl. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know how to explain it, man. | ||
| I know that they did this to me, right? | ||
| But yeah, I was like, I know you're a little girl, but I will fucking punch you, I told them. | ||
| When I went past, I'm like, I know you're a girl. | ||
| I was like, look, I know I can beat you up. | ||
| Don't jump scare me because I'm liable to punch you. | ||
| I'm letting you know right now. | ||
| Tell us the little girl. | ||
| Wait, so I'll double back on this one. | ||
| Corn is fucking scary to get lost in. | ||
| Corn maze? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| There's a place in California where they have a farm. | ||
| And they have a corn maze. | ||
| You can walk around this maze. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Because you know you can eventually get out. | ||
| Go in at night alone. | ||
| But you get lost in this maze. | ||
| You get really lost. | ||
| And it's kind of confusing. | ||
| And now imagine this is thousands of acres. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| And you're in the center of it with no water. | ||
| And you have no idea. | ||
| You might be walking around in circles. | ||
| You really have no idea. | ||
| You may as well be on, like, the mountains when people die. | ||
| Yeah, people die in cornfields, man. | ||
| That's a real thing. | ||
| I mean, I feel like, yeah, it depends how dense it is. | ||
| I mean, if I was ever in that situation, I'd just go straight. | ||
| And not stop? | ||
| I wonder how many people over in history have died in cornfields. | ||
| Just heat exhaustion, get lost. | ||
| 11. Yeah. | ||
| That's what you think? | ||
| We had looked it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real? | |
| No. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| I want to guess, but then it's going to suck. | ||
| I think 11's a solid number. | ||
| I think 11's a good guess. | ||
| Like 11 people over the course of America have died in cornfields. | ||
| No, back in the day? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| But they didn't have monocrop agriculture back then. | ||
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| That's like these giant cornfields. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Where like in this country right now, look this up because I think it's true. | ||
| I think 5% of the land mass of the United States is being used for cornfields. | ||
| That's still, that's crazy. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's wild. | |
| That's so crazy. | ||
| I think that's correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The guy on my show that I- By the way, I just read the headline of that. | |
| I'll be real clear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I didn't even read the whole article. | ||
| I just read the headline. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| Well, this guy- So this might not be He put a cornfield in his yard. | ||
| He has five acres. | ||
| He built a cornfield registered as a farm so he could get tax breaks. | ||
| He has to sell $50,000 worth of corn in order to get it. | ||
| He's trying to do that right now. | ||
| How much corn is $50,000 worth of corn? | ||
| No clue. | ||
| It feels like a lot to me. | ||
| Isn't it funny if the government subsidizes corn? | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Well, you know where it all came from? | ||
| It came from World War II. So during the war, people need food, and they wanted to make sure that in the future they would have stockpiles of food. | ||
| You know, like, the war just ended, but who knows what's going to happen now with Russia. | ||
| We could be into it again. | ||
| Let's prepare. | ||
| And they started subsidizing corn production. | ||
| Then they just started using corn for all kinds of extra stuff that you're not supposed to use it for, like oil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, or, you know, corn syrup. | ||
| That stuff's fucking... | ||
| I can't find the percentage, which I'm trying to get to, but I've got 97 million acres, which is about the same size as California. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow! | ||
| Oh, there's no shortage of that, then. | ||
| There's so much corn! | ||
| Okay, so like, what percentage of that is? | ||
| California's gotta be more than 5% of the country, right? | ||
| Nah, it's tough. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Because, I mean, they're not counting Alaska. | ||
| Right, Alaska's so big. | ||
| Alaska's, like, makes it doubles there. | ||
| Alaska's, like, way bigger than Texas, and Texas is enormous. | ||
| I think Alaska's, like, three Texases. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| What percentage of that corn do you think we're consuming, and what's going to waste? | ||
| I don't know if it's a waste thing. | ||
| It just goes... | ||
| Because you can use it for so many different things. | ||
| You can use it to make alcohol. | ||
| You can use it to make corn syrup. | ||
| You can use it to make oil. | ||
| You know, I think they're just... | ||
| It's like a money racket. | ||
| It's like they've cornered this market. | ||
| And people were better off when they were using actual sugar. | ||
| And people were better off when they weren't eating corn syrup in fucking everything. | ||
| It's just not good for you. | ||
| And then, you know... | ||
| What people think is corn or canola oil, that's not canola oil. | ||
| That's rapeseed oil. | ||
| That's an industrial lubricant that they figured out a way to refine down to the point where human beings can eat it and not die immediately. | ||
| People fucking put it on everything. | ||
| This is the first time I've really, in the last 10 years or whatever, when I was a kid, we didn't eat it. | ||
| I mean, my parents, I love them, but we didn't eat fresh vegetables. | ||
| We had canned everything. | ||
| It says about a third of America's corn crop is used for feeding cattle, hogs, and poultry in the U.S. Corn provides the carbs in animal feed while soybeans provide the protein. | ||
| Takes a couple bushels of American corn to make corn-fed steak. | ||
| By some estimates, a beef cow can eat a ton of corn if raised in a feedlot. | ||
| Both dairy cows and beef cows also consume silage, which is fermented corn stalks and other green plants. | ||
| So, a third of the corn crop is used to make ethanol, which serves as renewable fuel, additive to gasoline. | ||
| The rest of the corn crop is used for human food, beverages, and industrial uses in the U.S. or exported to other countries for food or feed use. | ||
| Used to make breakfast cereal, tortilla chips, grits, canned beer, soda, cooking oil, biodegradable packing materials. | ||
| Have you ever watched that documentary, King Corn? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's a good one. | ||
| It's a good one to watch. | ||
| It's a giant industry that's not good for us. | ||
| It's like all the things that it does, like you can do with other things and you'll be better off. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It's captive. | ||
| It'll never change. | ||
| Also, corn on the cob is fucking delicious. | ||
| That's the best corn. | ||
| That's the best form of corn. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with corn. | ||
| I love corn. | ||
| Corn's great. | ||
| I like... | ||
| Why is it so much better off the cob? | ||
| I like cream of corn soup. | ||
| Cream of corn soup is great. | ||
| I haven't had that. | ||
| Oh, I love that. | ||
| Maybe I've had that three times in my life. | ||
| Cream corn? | ||
| You're a cream corn? | ||
| Like at a steakhouse? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Corn's great. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| But on the cob, it's like... | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| The sweet corn, that sweet corn. | ||
| Oh, with butter? | ||
| Butter and salt. | ||
| When you take the butter and the butter takes on the shape of the corn comp because you're just reckless. | ||
| You're running a whole stick of butter around that. | ||
| That's how I do it. | ||
| You hold the stick and go like this. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Fucking sweet corn fresh off the grill with butter. | ||
| One of the best things in the world. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| So delicious. | ||
| Three, four of those things. | ||
| So delicious. | ||
| I don't know why they're better. | ||
| And you take that same exact corn and you kind of just take it off. | ||
| It's good, but it's just better on the comp. | ||
| Also, you're getting the melted butter in all the kernels and it's in your mouth while you're biting into it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know what else they used corn cobs for? | ||
| What? | ||
| In the 1800s? | ||
| Pipes! | ||
| Popeye! | ||
| No, before toilet paper. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Can you imagine how rough their assholes were back then? | ||
| Because it catches... | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because of the shape? | ||
| Because they had it, I think. | ||
| Because they were just dummies. | ||
| They were living in a dumbass time. | ||
| Early North American sailors used corncob. | ||
| They were abundant, soft, and easy to handle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Sailors use something they call a tow rag. | ||
| By the way, back then they didn't even run in water, so it's not like they're washing these things off. | ||
| You're a sailor with a corncob. | ||
| You're going to use that corncob over and over again. | ||
| You're going to be smearing new shit over the area where the old shit's dried up. | ||
| - It dangled it in the water to clean it off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
- Oh god. | |
| - A bit of a dangle. | ||
| Fix it up, lad. | ||
| Aye. - You ever think about how people would have sex back then? | ||
| How would people still fuck back then? | ||
| They were disgusting things. | ||
| Think about how many years. | ||
| It's only like the last hundred years that people aren't disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, we were talking about St. Agnes who went his whole life. | ||
| Was it St. Agnes? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, anyway. | ||
| His whole life without having a bath. | ||
| His whole life. | ||
| He copped to that? | ||
| Once a year it was a lot. | ||
| It wasn't even that. | ||
| It was like you were supposed to do that. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, like bathing was thought of as like a ridiculous thing to do. | ||
| I mean, day three, it starts to be a problem. | ||
| I don't know what happens. | ||
| I wonder what happens. | ||
| Like, what just happens if you never bathe? | ||
| Like, we just assume that you have to bathe. | ||
| Maybe that's the source of a lot of our problems. | ||
| We're not, like, covered in dirt and bacteria all the time. | ||
| Like, we're supposed to be, like, a normal animal. | ||
| Maybe that warded off. | ||
| Maybe that warded off, like... | ||
| I bet it... | ||
| Nah, it didn't stop, right? | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| You don't think a T-Rex would be like, ugh... | ||
| I don't know how we made it so far. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| I mean, I know it was the invention of weapons and tools and stuff and building houses, but goddamn, we're so weak. | ||
| Like, how much different were we back then? | ||
| We are so fucking weak. | ||
| I just can't imagine us without the houses and the weapons. | ||
| Like, how did we even make it that far? | ||
| And how much of a change was it once we developed the houses and the weapons? | ||
| Because we are so bitch-ass, like, as an animal. | ||
| Even if you're fit and in shape, even if you're a UFC fighter, you're like Islam Makachev, to compare to the nature world, our animal species is so bitch-ass. | ||
| We're so bitch-ass! | ||
| It's insane that we made it this far. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I guess just... | ||
| Just the fact that we even survived to the point where we made a bow and arrow. | ||
| Like, how? | ||
| How did everything not just run up on us and eat us? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I always think about this, too. | ||
| There's always the first time, first person. | ||
| There was one person who was like, Oh shit, hold on a second. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I guess they probably like stepped on things and cut themselves with it and then realized they could pick those things up and cut other things with it and then they figured out how to make those things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then we got email. | ||
| Then we got email. | ||
| Fast forward. | ||
| Fast forward you got AI. Yeah. | ||
| Fast forward. | ||
| Yeah, I mean could you fucking imagine being born You know, in Africa 500,000 years ago. | ||
| If you put me in Africa now, if you put me in the forest right now, if you put me anywhere right now, I'm done. | ||
| I don't know how to make a fire. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| I can't explain anything. | ||
| I can't explain to you how mirrors work. | ||
| There's some places, like, I was reading this thing. | ||
| No, it was actually Paul Rosalie. | ||
| Paul Rosalie was talking about this. | ||
| If you get caught in the Amazon, do not try to make a fire because you won't be able to and it'll break your spirit. | ||
| I didn't think that's where you were going with that. | ||
| If you're lost in the Amazon, forget a fire. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| Your broken spirit will kill you before the elements? | ||
| You will realize how hopeless your plight is when it is impossible for you to make a fire. | ||
| So now you're gonna realize that everything that you eat is gonna be raw. | ||
| And you're gonna have to catch things and eat them raw to stay alive. | ||
| And now you're an animal. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I'd be trying to catch a smallest animal and strangle it. | ||
| What am I going to do? | ||
| And the likelihood of them finding you is so small. | ||
| If you just go on a walkabout, if you're like some wacky dude who goes off his meds and decides to go on a walkabout in the Amazon, they're not going to find you. | ||
| So many walkabouts just don't turn out well. | ||
| A lot of them don't. | ||
| Why keep walking about it? | ||
| Well, why are walkabouts so romantic to us? | ||
| You know, like that movie with a kid who, what was the movie called? | ||
| Where he lived in the bus in Alaska? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Into the Wild? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Into the Wild. | ||
| Like, why is that so romantic to us? | ||
| For someone who just goes out into the wild, and even if the dude dies out there like that guy did. | ||
| Maybe there's some type of, like, whether it be just finding yourself or, like, just being at one with these elements as much as possible feels like something romantic, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It feels like this understanding that we're disconnected from the rest of the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It gives perspective, for sure. | |
| It does give you perspective. | ||
| It's also like, the more disconnected we are, the more ridiculous we behave. | ||
| Like, where do people behave the most ridiculously? | ||
| In big cities. | ||
| You're the most disconnected from nature. | ||
| The most. | ||
| You're living in concrete jungles, honk, honk, fuck you. | ||
| You're living in New York City, you're disconnected from nature, period. | ||
| Fuck your park. | ||
| Park's cute. | ||
| That park's cute. | ||
| It's surrounded by New York City. | ||
| It's so unnatural. | ||
| It's so contained. | ||
| It's actually contained by the city. | ||
| The park is contained. | ||
| It's not peaceful. | ||
| It's peaceful enough. | ||
| It's a nice park. | ||
| It's a lovely park. | ||
| You've been through it all? | ||
| You've been through it all? | ||
| Yeah, I've been through the park. | ||
| It's lovely. | ||
| I thought I went to it, but then one day I really went to it. | ||
| I went to every area, which there's so many things I didn't know. | ||
| It's really big. | ||
| There's like 50 places. | ||
| It's a beautiful thing about New York City that they have that park in the center of it. | ||
| It really changes the dynamic of the city. | ||
| It does. | ||
| I think it makes the city a more livable place, a more friendly place. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I mean, it's crazy that you have this insane urban environment, then inside you have this massive park. | ||
| It's like another world in there. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But the difference between that and the woods, the actual woods, like the Colorado Rockies, the difference between being out there and waking up and just looking and all you see in front of you is mountain peak after mountain peak after mountain peak and it just goes along. | ||
| That is a different feeling. | ||
| That's the real feeling. | ||
| And that feeling is... | ||
| I think that feeling is like a thing we're supposed to get. | ||
| I think that's supposed to be... | ||
| I think it's a part of our requirements of being a human being that we connect with the earth. | ||
| That the earth sees us, we see it, we're out there in it, and we realize our actual place. | ||
| We get all cocky in our fucking Uber in New York City, getting out, buying a slice, and you think you're all disconnected... | ||
| We think we're better than— Well, we're just trapped in our own little fucking zoo, the little zoo that we've created. | ||
| But when you go out in the world, you feel so vulnerable. | ||
| You go out into the woods, you feel so, so minuscule, but connected. | ||
| Connected, but you're right. | ||
| You start to feel where our place is. | ||
| We are not as, we are bitch ass. | ||
| Bitch ass. | ||
| That first wave that comes over you is a bitch ass wave. | ||
| Bitch ass. | ||
| Compared to all the other things, bitch ass. | ||
| I don't think I'm catching anything. | ||
| I don't think I'm gonna kill anything. | ||
| What do you think you feel like when you, you're not even at a point where it just happened, but you know you ain't getting out of it. | ||
| So it's like, your survival mode is gonna kick in. | ||
| How long you last, I don't know. | ||
| You probably go into shock. | ||
| Like, if a bear grabs you, you probably just go into shock. | ||
| Well, I had this conversation yesterday, actually. | ||
| So, would you be able to play dead? | ||
| It depends on what the bear wants, man. | ||
| See, there's two types of bears. | ||
| Black bears and brown bears. | ||
| Black bears are more likely... | ||
| This is two types of bears in North America. | ||
| The black bears, they're also brown, too. | ||
| A lot of black bears are very... | ||
| Even blonde. | ||
| They look blonde sometimes. | ||
| They're called color-faced bears. | ||
| But they're more like... | ||
| Black bears are more likely to try to eat you. | ||
| Oh, I thought the opposite. | ||
| No, they're more likely to try to bite you and kill you to eat you. | ||
| Whereas brown bears, for the most part, when they're killing people... | ||
| Like grizzlies? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Brown bears are... | ||
| The big ones are the ones that are the coastal bears because they have access to all the seafood. | ||
| That's why those are like those Kodiak bears. | ||
| Enormous, enormous grizzly bears. | ||
| But it's the same bear. | ||
| It's the same species. | ||
| It's just you have the inland one, which is eating mostly animals and berries and shit like that. | ||
| And then you have the coastal ones that are just gorging in salmon. | ||
| And so they're fucking huge. | ||
| Yeah, they put me in a cage with two of them. | ||
| They're actually less likely to try to go after you because they have an abundant food source. | ||
| Like there's people that like camp out by the river and watch these enormous fucking bears just eat salmon. | ||
| But the bears don't want to have nothing to do with you. | ||
| They're just eating salmon. | ||
| Like The Revenant, right? | ||
| I don't care what kind of bear it is. | ||
| If there's a bear coming at you, the bear has bad intentions. | ||
| Black, brown, white. | ||
| And they tell you to lay down and just stay there. | ||
| I know that the bear's gonna catch you if you keep running, but you think that you could play dead in that moment? | ||
| No. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It'll just start eating you. | ||
| Right, so why do we get this advice? | ||
| Because if it's a mama bear, so if a mama bear goes after you because her cubs are there, and you scare her, like if you come too close and she doesn't know you're there, she thinks you're a predator, she may charge you. | ||
| She's taking her earrings off. | ||
| If she charges you and bites you, you should play dead. | ||
| You should play dead with her. | ||
| Because she's not trying to eat you. | ||
| She's just trying to protect her cubs. | ||
| Okay, she wants a knockout. | ||
| But it doesn't mean she won't eat you either. | ||
| Yeah, how are you playing dead when she's chomped through this? | ||
| Because sometimes she just wants to eliminate the threat and then get her babies to safety. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's why playing dead works with mama bears, sometimes. | ||
| So you're just hoping for a mama. | ||
| But it's a big sometimes. | ||
| It's a big sometimes. | ||
| Because sometimes they just eat you. | ||
| They're bears. | ||
| We don't have a fucking treaty with them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's why my strategy is just not to put myself in a place where there are bears. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And look, it's worked so far. | ||
| That'll help you a lot in this life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want to avoid getting eaten by bears, don't go in a place where they live. | ||
| Have you come across one like that? | ||
| Like just in the wild? | ||
| The scariest thing I came across, I've talked about it too many times on the podcast, but to tell you, I saw a big mountain line from about 30 yards away. | ||
| But I was inside my friend's truck. | ||
| And he spotted it. | ||
| It was about dusk. | ||
| It was in Utah, in the mountains. | ||
| And we were taking this corner, and he hits the brakes. | ||
| He goes, look at that cat. | ||
| And we look, and about 30 yards away, under a tree, is this enormous, enormous mountain lion. | ||
| With a head like a pumpkin, dude. | ||
| And these giant forearms. | ||
| And just sitting there, we're like... | ||
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| And I had binoculars, so I pick up the binos, so I have these 10 power binoculars, so I'm looking in its face. | ||
| But I'm protected. | ||
| I'm inside the car, we have a gun. | ||
| I'm protected. | ||
| And I'm shitting my pants. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I felt like some primal fear. | ||
| Some primal recognition of an actual monster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that kicked in from the inside. | ||
| From inside a truck with a gun. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| With the binoculars. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, you look at this thing and its eyes were kind of- I got chills. | |
| Because it's dusk, the eyes are kind of glowing a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro! | |
| No, thank you. | ||
| Those are the real monsters. | ||
| I had a collie dog bite me once and I was that scared. | ||
| So it's like, I'm not gonna go... | ||
| Hey, bro, if your cat wants to fuck you up, that's a real problem. | ||
| Yeah, I don't do cats. | ||
| But imagine a cat that's 170 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, it's so scary. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| You ever see these guys on Instagram, like they live with lions? | ||
| Oh, those guys are all good guys. | ||
| Like on the couch and they're like, come over and they just feed them like a sandwich. | ||
| Well, you know Melanie Griffin grew up with lions. | ||
| No, what? | ||
| The whole house was filled with lions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How is that something everybody knows? | ||
| Her house was free-rolling lions? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They had pet lions. | ||
| I mean enormous pet lions. | ||
| There's all these photographs of her as a child in California. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| Her family was kooky. | ||
| These were just kooky lion pets? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| It wasn't like they were like carnies? | ||
| No! | ||
| Crazy lion people and they did a movie with these lions. | ||
| And the movie's supposed to be like the dumbest movie of all time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Illegal? | |
| Was it illegal to do that? | ||
| This is the movie. | ||
| What's it called again? | ||
| What is it, Jamie? | ||
| Roar. | ||
| Roar. | ||
| So, these are all their lions. | ||
| And a bunch of people got fucked up in the making of this movie, too, by the way. | ||
| No shit, I don't believe it. | ||
| Because they used actual real lions, man. | ||
| And so, like, they have fucking scenes. | ||
| Melody Griffiths is in this stupid movie. | ||
| All these clips of these actors right now. | ||
| Yeah, interacting with their pets. | ||
| Those are real lions? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Every one of those people. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| How was that? | ||
| What was the insurance for that? | ||
| Insurance insurance. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with your insurance. | ||
| They locked me in a motel room with a tiger, a Bengal tiger, in the Joker's movie. | ||
| They pushed me into a roadside hotel room, closed the door behind me. | ||
| I turned around, there was no knob on the inside, and I just was like, what is this for? | ||
| And I heard a grumbling, and then literally I was like, I plastered up against the wall because I was like, Dude, it's just a white tiger just comes out of the bathroom. | ||
| How can they predict the behavior of that thing? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I fucking said, too. | ||
| Bro, that's so dangerous. | ||
| And if you're freaking out... | ||
| It's on a chain. | ||
| It's on a chain, which is... | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| It's chained to the pole in the shower. | ||
| Bro, I also want you to look at that bitch-ass chain. | ||
| Do you know how strong those things are? | ||
| Look at that chain. | ||
| You don't think he can break that chain? | ||
| I know he could! | ||
| Bro, that is so crazy. | ||
| That's such a crazy thing to do. | ||
| I just forgot about that until this moment, too. | ||
| Fuck those things, man. | ||
| I said to them, fuck those things. | ||
| This isn't funny. | ||
| It's not even funny because I had to make the movie. | ||
| The first thing I said on camera is, do we have insurance? | ||
| It's in the movie. | ||
| I couldn't even play it up and it stayed in the fucking movie. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| But Roy. | ||
| Roy. | ||
| Look at that guy. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| Cigarette and Roy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| He raised that tiger from the time it was a baby. | ||
| And he would tell you- They don't even know why it had- There's all this speculation. | ||
| There was a lady with like- Some crazy hat on, apparently, and they think that, like, maybe the tiger was agitated by the lady, but it's all just, the tiger just decided to bite him. | ||
| Yeah, if that's all it takes, is that tiger to get agitated by a lady? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you're playing with Russian roulette your whole life. | ||
| I mean, like, he would tell you a billion times over, it's safe, it's safe, and then he gets his throat cut out. | ||
| I don't think it tried to kill him, though. | ||
| I think it was carrying him away, like a cub. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| Yeah, I think his limp body. | ||
| Did they show that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think they showed it, but I think they have it. | ||
| I don't think anybody saw it. | ||
| He didn't die though, right? | ||
| Oh, he died. | ||
| He died eventually, but he was paralyzed. | ||
| Like a few hours later? | ||
| No, he was paralyzed. | ||
| Yeah, and he kept the tiger, right? | ||
| He was like, I forgive him. | ||
| It's the lady's fault. | ||
| You can't trust those things. | ||
| Because when it goes, you saw the one where the guy was, he had a trained grizzly bear for a movie. | ||
| It had been in a few movies. | ||
| And it just, he's doing this thing, and it just bites this guy's neck off. | ||
| Just jumps on this guy's neck and tears it apart in front of everybody. | ||
| Nothing anyone could do about it. | ||
| The bear just jumps on him for no reason. | ||
| Dude's just standing there, just totally standing still. | ||
| And the bear just decides, I want to bite you. | ||
| Imagine what you feel in that moment, knowing that you're going to die, knowing that it's gonna be this way, knowing that people are watching and can't help, and you're gonna die in front of... | ||
| Like your whole life, when am I going? | ||
| How's it gonna happen? | ||
| It could have all been avoided. | ||
| Like, don't do that. | ||
| Don't get out there. | ||
| This is just not... | ||
| It's not 100%, kids. | ||
| Even if it's 99.9%, that little tiny one that... | ||
| When the bear decides to just do what nature wants it to do... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They want to kill things, man. | ||
| It's part of the fun of being a bear. | ||
| It's part of the fun of being a tiger. | ||
| It's part of the fun. | ||
| They like to kill things. | ||
| That's how they survive. | ||
| There's a reward system that's built into their DNA, and we have this stupid belief that we could just slide steaks under the door, and they'll be cool with that. | ||
| And then eventually they just want, I want to get my own meat! | ||
| Yeah, like, you're not the boss of me. | ||
| So the tiger never attacked him during the Vegas show. | ||
| He saved my life. | ||
| I don't know, Roy. | ||
| I don't know if we're picking it up. | ||
| Why does he think the tiger saved his life? | ||
| Instinctively, oh, he said he might have been having a stroke. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Roy maintains that Monocore was really trying to drag him to safety after seeing him felled by what he thinks may have been a stroke. | ||
| He said he instinctively saw that I needed help and he helped me. | ||
| Oh, he was taking medication for high blood pressure for years, said he recently began to suffer dizzy spells, and this one spell unfortunately occurred in the presence of a very large tiger. | ||
| He said, I started feeling weak. | ||
| He still speaks slowly, but has recovered most of his German accented speech as I fell over. | ||
| Montecore saw that I was falling down. | ||
| So he actually took me and brought me to the other exit where everybody could get me and help me. | ||
| He knew better than I did where to go. | ||
| So he's saying that the tiger fucked him up accidentally while it was dragging him to safety. | ||
| Did that come out right away? | ||
| I mean, it's amazing if that's what happened, but... | ||
| Tigers don't understand. | ||
| You can't just drag a dude by his neck and not, like, break it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, exactly. | |
| Because we're bitch ass. | ||
| Yeah, he's like Lenny from The Vice and Men. | ||
| Yeah, you could do that to a puppy. | ||
| Two gaping puncture wounds to the neck. | ||
| Before passing out, Rick Hall said, leave Montecore alone, bring him back to his brother and sister, let him be happy. | ||
| These guys are so crazy. | ||
| I picture Roy being dragged. | ||
| Suffering from severe blood loss. | ||
| This picture of, like, blood squirting. | ||
| He's like, leave Montecore alone! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you! | |
| Leave him alone! | ||
| Bring it back to his brother and sister! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Suffering from severe blood loss and shock, he was considered medically dead at one point when his heart stopped. | ||
| He also suffered the stroke that would ravage the left side of his body. | ||
| So, was the stroke before or was the stroke because of him getting bitten? | ||
| He might be rationalizing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He could have just had the stroke, and that would be bad enough, but he could have just had a stroke. | ||
| Do they know when he had the stroke? | ||
| What he's saying makes sense though. | ||
| If that cat loves him and the cat sees him faint and the cat wants to drag him to safety, it's just they don't know they can't just bite you. | ||
| You ever see the reunions of the trainers and they haven't seen them in years? | ||
| These zoo guys that raise tigers and set them free and then they reunite them? | ||
| In the wild they reunite them and these tigers just come charging at the guy, jump up and just start licking them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see that, and I think that's bad press to put out there, really, to tell you the truth. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it's making it look like a domesticated house cat. | ||
| The thing looks adorable. | ||
| It's looking at it. | ||
| I'm like, maybe I could raise a lion. | ||
| Yeah, don't do that. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good point. | ||
| But it's like... | ||
| If you raise one from the time it's a baby, it realizes, like, oh my god, that life is so much better than this bullshit life of chasing gazelles. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| You know, that life sucks. | ||
| And this guy's, like, leather sectional in his house, and he's just throwing the meat, and he's, like, playing DJ Khaled. | ||
| I'm like, this guy's going to die. | ||
| He has, like, 30 lions free-roaming the house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got like a billion Instagram followers. | ||
| Everyone's following waiting for the post. | ||
| Tiger scene in Houston neighborhood found after a week of searching and legal wrangling. | ||
| A week? | ||
| A week is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so crazy to have a tiger rolling around for a week. | |
| Just dodging for a week? | ||
| How is it hiding? | ||
| How are they so bad at finding tigers? | ||
| Anyone who lays eyes on that tiger is calling it in. | ||
| Yeah, but don't you have helicopters and shit? | ||
| Yeah, you don't let that go for a week. | ||
| How do you get that? | ||
| Where's it going? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where'd it go? | |
| Nobody gets lunch until they find it. | ||
| It's like, you can't just let it go. | ||
| It's overtime, boys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Every night they were like, all right, let's go to bed tomorrow. | ||
| We'll wake up early. | ||
| It's not a tiny tiger. | ||
| So it came right up to people? | ||
| Is that what it's doing? | ||
| It says an off duty police officer points a weapon as the apparent owner retrieves the tiger that had gotten out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So this dude can just grab it. | ||
| That's kind of cool though that they just let the guy grab his tiger instead of shooting it. | ||
| Until they find like a bunch of dead dogs and cats. | ||
| You think that that's a small tiger? | ||
| I went to the Nashville Zoo. | ||
| I got like a backstage whatever tour, whatever. | ||
| They had baby cloud leopards that were just born. | ||
| I held them in my hand and fed them with a bottle, right? | ||
| They were this big. | ||
| I mean, you could have crushed it, right? | ||
| And a year later, I was back there on the road. | ||
| I went back and they said, do you want to see the baby cloud leopard you fed? | ||
| And they build these outdoor structures, these cages. | ||
| So they're living outside, but they're in outdoor cages. | ||
| So, they bring me in the cage, right? | ||
| And we're with a few people, and they're like, that's the one that you fed last year. | ||
| And it's like, now it's like, it was this big when I fed them, now it's probably like this big. | ||
| But it's lean, it's lean. | ||
| Like this big. | ||
| Like, bigger than any house cat you've ever seen, but not like, You'd still think like, you know, it couldn't hurt you. | ||
| So they tell you, they say, whatever you do, just don't turn you back to it. | ||
| So I was like, okay. | ||
| And I was like, can this thing hurt me or not? | ||
| Like, why are we in here? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And at one point, I turned around. | ||
| Like, we were going to walk out. | ||
| I turned around. | ||
| It swiped at me right here. | ||
| I still have a mark for it. | ||
| It swiped at me right here and sliced me and drew blood. | ||
| It wasn't a deep cut or anything. | ||
| It just, like, missed it. | ||
| It only did it when you turned your back. | ||
| When I turned. | ||
| I was like, oh my, it fucking did it. | ||
| And it's just one line right here. | ||
| It wasn't like, I didn't need medical attention. | ||
| Thank God, but it got me and it broke skin. | ||
| Deep, predatory instincts. | ||
| Just turning around. | ||
| And I was like, how the fuck I fed you last year? | ||
| Yeah, it's something that's not looking. | ||
| Anything that's not looking that's gonna get it. | ||
| Isn't that scary? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's like built into its hard drive. | ||
| Dude, what about that lady that got her face ripped off by the chimp? | ||
| Oh, just reading about that. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| They have a picture, I think, of it. | ||
| Oh, don't see it. | ||
| Yeah, don't do it. | ||
| Yeah, that's a terrible story, man. | ||
| That's a terrific story. | ||
| And I think they have like audio of it or something like where she's just like... | ||
| It's a 911 audio. | ||
| Those chimps, they dismember you. | ||
| He ripped her entire face off. | ||
| Yeah, they try to ruin you. | ||
| They try to bite your fingers off. | ||
| They go for your genitals. | ||
| They tear your feet off. | ||
| That's an odd handbook for them. | ||
| Let me tear his feet off first. | ||
| They want to cripple you. | ||
| They're not even trying to kill you. | ||
| They're trying to cripple you. | ||
| Is that what they're doing? | ||
| Yeah, they're smart. | ||
| Cripple you and then what? | ||
| They're evil and smart. | ||
| They're trying to ruin you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Run up your bills? | |
| No more fingers, bitch. | ||
| Just cripple you and walk away and be like, now live like that? | ||
| Yeah, they just want to hurt you. | ||
| Like, they don't have any morals. | ||
| They're just these wild, intelligent things. | ||
| Why do they have a breakpoint then? | ||
| Why do they want to just kill them? | ||
| I don't know why they do that to people, but if they wanted to kill you, they could kill you really quick. | ||
| They could just bash your head against the ground and you'd be dead in a second. | ||
| But I don't think they want to kill you. | ||
| I think they want to fucking hurt you. | ||
| They punish you. | ||
| One of the more horrible stories was this guy had a chimp that he raised for a while and then it got big and it became a bit of a problem and he had to give it to a rescue center. | ||
| And he would go back with his wife and they would visit the chimp. | ||
| And one time he went back and he brought the chimp a cake because it was his birthday. | ||
| And the other chimps were so angry that they didn't get cake. | ||
| You gotta be fucking kidding. | ||
| And someone fucked up and left one of the doors open. | ||
| And the chimps got out. | ||
| They figured out a way to get out. | ||
| They opened the door, attacked the guy, and just tore him apart. | ||
| Tore his hands off, tore his face off. | ||
| The guy who raised... | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| It wasn't him, it wasn't the chimp he raised that did that. | ||
| It was the other chimps. | ||
| So the other chimps were jealous that they didn't bring them, that he didn't bring them cakes too. | ||
| You have to bring cake for everybody. | ||
| They're evil. | ||
| They can be evil. | ||
| Like, they don't care. | ||
| It's not like a proportionate response to something. | ||
| No, I think that's, you know, they overreact. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| But they're intelligent, but they're also like... | ||
| Ruthless in this crazy way that is incomprehensible. | ||
| Like the worst, worst possible characteristics you could ever imagine happening in human beings are just common. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just common. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| With chimps. | ||
| Commonplace. | ||
| Man, that's another thing. | ||
| Like, explaining these deaths. | ||
| Like, you know, like to his family down the line. | ||
| He's like, oh, he brought an angel food cake to a... | ||
| He didn't even kill him. | ||
| It just tore him apart. | ||
| It didn't kill him? | ||
| No, he survived. | ||
| And then does he have a life after that? | ||
| Or what is... | ||
| How much? | ||
| You know, his face is gone. | ||
| His hands are gone. | ||
| Different. | ||
| His body's all fucked up. | ||
| They just tear you apart. | ||
| They go for your dick. | ||
| I wonder how it feels about cake now, the guy. | ||
| They're probably done. | ||
| He's got a bit of a... | ||
| Maybe I should have brought four cakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's probably a cookie guy only now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I wouldn't look at cake. | ||
| It's too traumatic. | ||
| It even has the eyeballs. | ||
| And it's not like... | ||
| I had a chimp... | ||
| I saw a chimp bite somebody. | ||
| When I was little... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I was little, we went to go... | ||
| You familiar with, like, New York, like, upstate, like, um... | ||
| Like, what do they call it? | ||
| Lake George and stuff like that? | ||
| Sure, I know where that is. | ||
| We go, like, up there and we... | ||
| Like, or even the poker... | ||
| Like, the Catskills. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we would go up there, and I remember we were at this, like, little resort or whatever, and they had, like, entertainment. | ||
| And they had, like, a daily show, and it happened every day. | ||
| And we were there for a few days, so I would go to the show every day. | ||
| It was in this little, like, cabaret theater. | ||
| And this guy would come out, a cowboy in all sequence outfit, and he hosted the show. | ||
| It was full of kids. | ||
| And there was all different acts, and he would bring them out. | ||
| So he brings out, one of the acts he brings out, the stage becomes a little ice skating rink. | ||
| And the ice skating rink, I'd say, is maybe twice the size of this table. | ||
| It's just for them to do little twirls. | ||
| And the guy comes out, and he has a chimp dressed as a cowboy in ice skates. | ||
| He's dressed as a cowboy in ice skates and they start skating together and doing he's holding the chimp and they're twirling and twirling and everything and then the chimp loses control Flies he lets go the chimp the chimp flies off the stage and the woman at a little cocktail table in the front He landed on her and bit her right here as he landed bit her right here and she I mean, she was bleeding everywhere. | ||
| She started screaming. | ||
| It bit me! | ||
| It bit me! | ||
| And she's screaming. | ||
| And the guy didn't know what to do. | ||
| And he got the chimp and they got back onto the ice. | ||
| And he was like, okay. | ||
| He took a chunk. | ||
| You saw a chunk of flesh out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I was like eight, you know, and I was like, I couldn't believe, and there was no one really there. | ||
| There was like 15 people. | ||
| The place was empty. | ||
| It was like a weekday chimp ice skating show. | ||
| No one wanted to see it. | ||
| It was like at lunch, and it was all dark in there, like it was all moody and everything. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It was a surreal experience, and this guy just was like, alright, that's gonna be the show for today. | ||
| And the next day they did the show with the chimp. | ||
| The next day they did the show with the chimp. | ||
| With the same girl? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| The woman was a patron. | ||
| A patron? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| Did you sue back then? | ||
| Were the suing days? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Did you hear anything about it? | ||
| I mean, I was eight. | ||
| I kept my ear to the streets, but nothing came over my desk. | ||
| I mean, I had to imagine there was some type of lawsuit. | ||
| I can't believe, though, that, like, the... | ||
| A chimp didn't get put down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, maybe it did. | ||
| Maybe it did. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was wild, though. | ||
| They're starting to clamp down on that. | ||
| They're trying to pass laws in places saying you can't have chimps. | ||
| Ice skate or just... | ||
| Just regular. | ||
| Can't have regular ones. | ||
| Because this lady in Connecticut just said it was legal what she was doing. | ||
| I think they've changed those laws, though. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to have them. | ||
| We can't wear shoes on a plane because one time, one time, one guy failed at doing something with his shoes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This lady gets her face ripped off to the skull, still can have chimpanzees. | ||
| Still can have them. | ||
| Not a big deal. | ||
| I don't know if you can anymore. | ||
| After her? | ||
| Yeah, I think they changed- Oh, she was the woman that did it? | ||
| I think, well, there was those two different stories that were both in the news around the same time. | ||
| And one of them was the guy that brought the birthday cake to the chimps. | ||
| And the other one was this lady whose friend was visiting her and just got the chimp tore apart her friend. | ||
| That was a bad time for chimps. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Under CT... Is this Connecticut? | ||
| It's illegal to import and possess all primates in the family hominid, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and orangutans. | ||
| Sue's... | ||
| That are accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums or the Zoological Association of America are exempt from the ban. | ||
| So they passed a ban after she got tore up. | ||
| But that's just Connecticut. | ||
| But there's places you could have them. | ||
| I guarantee you could have them right here. | ||
| Guarantee. | ||
| You see people with Crocs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
In Texas. | |
| People have Crocs in their apartments. | ||
| There's people in fucking New York City. | ||
| In New York City, there's a guy that had a tiger in his house. | ||
| In his apartment. | ||
| And the cops are like, there's a very famous photo of the cops going up the fire escape. | ||
| And you look in the window, you see a fucking cat. | ||
| I mean, a big tiger dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like this bear in its teeth. | ||
| It's the nuttiest picture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is he supposed to do? | ||
| Shoot it with a dart or something, right? | ||
| I think you have to shoot it, shoot it. | ||
| I don't think a dart... | ||
| I mean, I don't know what they did. | ||
| I don't know how they did it. | ||
| Well, good lord. | ||
| Who's gonna be close enough to a cat in an apartment to shoot with a dart? | ||
| Are you fucking sure you're gonna hit it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not going in there. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| You only get one shot. | ||
| How many darts? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You're gonna go in the apartment and shoot it with a dart? | ||
| Are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| That's not me. | ||
| And he's the guy that gets the call. | ||
| He's going to the fire escape with a dart in his hand. | ||
| He's used to like dogs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A dog? | ||
| Yeah, I'll shoot a dog with a dart. | ||
| I'm surprised that tiger just doesn't live there until it dies because who's extracting that thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what if it gets out? | ||
| What if it figures out that windows are like, you just go right through them. | ||
| What about in Florida? | ||
| People, kids and dogs and everything get eaten by fucking Crocs and alligators every single day. | ||
| Not every day. | ||
| Joe, it's every day, Joe. | ||
| They don't have very many crocodiles. | ||
| More than I think should happen. | ||
| I mean, people have their houses blocked off so the crocs can't get in there. | ||
| Yeah, it's alligators, mostly. | ||
| Oh, alligators, yeah. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| Crocodiles are way more dangerous. | ||
| Oh, is that right? | ||
| They're way more aggressive. | ||
| But did they cohabitate? | ||
| They do in the Everglades apparently now. | ||
| Not a lot, but they have had more than one sighting of Nile crocodiles in the Everglades. | ||
| And some of the biologists have a speculation that there might be a breeding population. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because there's so many assholes who just release things in the Everglades. | ||
| I mean, you know the python situation there, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| You haven't seen a bat? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing? | |
| No. | ||
| The Everglades are infested with giant pythons that are all invasive. | ||
| They're all pets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Or from research. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah, so they're either from a research place where people were working. | ||
| Some of them definitely got released there, but other ones are released just because there's people's pets. | ||
| So assholes, some fucking dude is into death metal, has a python. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, you know, I can't feed you right now, but I'm gonna let you go. | |
| And in two years after my album hits, I'll be back. | ||
| Remember me! | ||
| He lets this fucking monster loose in the swamps, and they've decimated the swamps. | ||
| So the Everglades is missing like 90% of all of its mammals. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| They're eating alligators now. | ||
| The pythons are eating alligators. | ||
| There's this crazy photograph. | ||
| A python can eat, I guess, yeah, right? | ||
| Well, they died doing it, because the alligator worked its way partially out of the python's body with its tail. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Fucked up photo. | ||
| They threw me in the swamps in the bayou in New Orleans where alligators were for the show. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Why? | ||
| You could die, man. | ||
| These are like real you could die things. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They dressed me as a bog. | ||
| The ghillie suit is like a bog monster. | ||
| And they put me in a swamp and I had to hide behind this thing. | ||
| I mean, dude, the swamp swamp. | ||
| Not like we took a fan boat. | ||
| The water looked like chocolate milk. | ||
| If you put your hand under the... | ||
| That's so dangerous. | ||
| I know. | ||
| If you put your hand under the water this low, you couldn't see your hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's gone. | |
| Yeah, it's gone. | ||
| It's about 110 degrees that day. | ||
| They put me in this ghillie. | ||
| I was nervous about germs anyway, so I actually literally wore a condom to go in there because I was afraid of stuff going up my pee hole. | ||
| Like a fish swimming up your dick? | ||
| No, no, a parasite. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was just like, I don't know if it was going to help, but I was like... | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like wearing a mask. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just was like, I'm just going to put it on my soft dick. | ||
| Anything that can help me, really. | ||
| Because I wasn't allowed to say no. | ||
| You can't say no to these things. | ||
| That's the whole point of the show. | ||
| When you lose, you can't say no to whatever's coming your way. | ||
| So there was a fan boat tour that passed the route, and they wanted me to come out during the fan boat tour so the guy could be like, oh, the lure of the bog monster. | ||
| Just fuck it with me. | ||
| Not to scare the people, to make me look like a moron and just... | ||
| Yeah, but do they know for sure, okay, this is fine. | ||
| No, so, they didn't tell me that that was happening. | ||
| But, so that's my friend just attacking me. | ||
| But, so they, I had to hide behind that area of me just getting into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, dude. | |
| What I would worry about doing this in Louisiana is someone who's got a gun. | ||
| And is like, I'm gonna finally kill me a Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, they were on the tour. | ||
| There's people that are not smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they are armed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, I didn't think of that. | ||
| I was worried about the alligators. | ||
| I'd be worried about them more than they would be the alligators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scaring regular white people. | |
| In that moment though, I actually got so nauseous because it was 105 degrees to smell and I threw up. | ||
| And I couldn't leave where I had to stay for the bit, so I was just standing up, sitting in my own throw-up. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| And then, like, about 15 minutes in, they go, oh, Sal, Sal, get back! | ||
| And they point, and there's an alligator. | ||
| And it's coming at me, and I think it's even on camera, and I go, ah! | ||
| And I turn, and I run toward the boat screaming. | ||
| And it was a fucking remote control alligator that they got that I didn't even know existed. | ||
| But it was an alligator. | ||
| And for a good 10 seconds, my reality was that an alligator was coming at me. | ||
| That would be the end of your show. | ||
| I wasn't mobile. | ||
| Look at that outfit I was in. | ||
| I couldn't really move. | ||
| That would be the end of the show. | ||
| Yeah, and then the end of the show, but you were thinking about the show, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I was like, I cannot. | ||
| What about all the basic cable fans? | ||
| What about all the people that work behind the scenes? | ||
| The real heroes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't do those things, dude. | ||
| Don't fuck around with nature. | ||
| If you want to do silly things with humans, that's great. | ||
| But you start getting in the swamps, dude. | ||
| They're few and far between. | ||
| It sounds like we do it a lot, but they're few and far between. | ||
| Imagine how a python just clamped ahold of your leg and started wrapping around your body and you realize you're trapped. | ||
| You're trapped in this stupid fucking swamp where you can't see anything, you don't know how to get out, and this snake's trying to kill you. | ||
| You don't even have a weapon. | ||
| You have nothing to fight it off. | ||
| I hope I go by surprise. | ||
| That wouldn't be much of a surprise. | ||
| The beginning would be a surprise. | ||
| I don't want to go in that way. | ||
| I don't want to know that there's death imminent in the next one minute to hour, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| When a python wraps around you, I'd imagine it takes a little while. | ||
| I bet the fear of it taking a while, it constricting you, is probably fucking... | ||
| Just numbing. | ||
| You probably can't think. | ||
| You're probably so overwhelmed with fear. | ||
| These things constricting your body and literally breaking your bones. | ||
| It's like crushing you. | ||
| I'm so scared of death already, and I think of death all the time, and never have I thought of it in the light that we've been talking about tonight, so we just added a whole nice new bucket for me. | ||
| Yeah, animals are things you really need to worry about. | ||
| My friend Paul Rosalie, he lives in the Amazon, and he got on top of an anaconda that was so big, he couldn't get his arms around it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| He was seeing this thing slither through the water and it was kind of dark out. | ||
| And, you know, you'd have to go listen to the clip on YouTube to get the exact wording of how he said it. | ||
| He essentially wanted to try to hold on to it because it wasn't going to try to come back. | ||
| He took a chance that it wouldn't attack him. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's just fucking insane. | ||
| One that big? | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Like why? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| It's so big that he couldn't get his arms around it. | ||
| Is that what he does? | ||
| He's basically like my size, maybe a little bigger than me. | ||
| He couldn't get his arms around it. | ||
| Does he work with... | ||
| Well, he works with the rainforest. | ||
| He works in the rain... | ||
| Cafe? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| His whole thing is saving rainforest land. | ||
| And what they do is they take these people that were hired as loggers and they pay them more money to protect the rainforest. | ||
| Because it's basically just poor people. | ||
| And doing that, they've saved like millions of acres of rainforest. | ||
| And he's worked... | ||
| So he actually lives out there. | ||
| So he sees these things. | ||
| And he said, this is the biggest one he's ever seen. | ||
| They don't even know, really, how big the biggest one is. | ||
| It's just like the limited number that they've measured and come in contact with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So what was his end game? | ||
| Just wanted to, like, experience it, I think. | ||
| Like, just grab ahold of it. | ||
| He didn't think it would bite him. | ||
| I don't remember him talking about this. | ||
| He tried to get eaten by a snake at one point about 10 years ago. | ||
| He tried to? | ||
| They filmed it for a show. | ||
| He tried to get eaten by the biggest anaconda they could find. | ||
| And what were they going to do? | ||
| They were going to kill it? | ||
| Did he have some kind of crazy suit on? | ||
| Yeah, he had this suit on here. | ||
| That it prevented him from dying? | ||
| What the fuck is he doing? | ||
| He just looks like he's from Mortal Kombat. | ||
| It's carbon fire? | ||
| Oh God, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how... | ||
| I mean, look, it's got its head around him. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| What a dumb idea, Paul. | ||
| So that suit is preventing the strength of that snake from crushing him? | ||
| Did you see, Jamie, see if you can find that video of the largest anaconda ever discovered. | ||
| These guys are swimming under the water with it in this river. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| That's what I was trying to get to. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| These guys are swimming down there in the water, and this thing's moving along the bottom of the water, and its head is like this big. | ||
| It's like a crocodile or something. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| It's head is like way bigger than you think a snake's head should be, like bigger than a human head. | ||
| Underwater is scarier to me than the forest even. | ||
| Underwater, it's another planet. | ||
| They're aliens. | ||
| They are aliens. | ||
| And there's no doors. | ||
| There's no doors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You never lock yourself in a room like, whew! | |
| Finally I'm home. | ||
| Nobody gets to relax. | ||
| Wow, it's unobstructed. | ||
| Yeah, there's no doors. | ||
| Look at this fucking thing, dude. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| It's 26 feet long. | ||
| Look at these guys swimming by it. | ||
| And what is that eating? | ||
| Everything it wants. | ||
| To sustain that size, what is that thing eating? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Look at its head, man. | ||
| He goes right to it. | ||
| Look at the fucking head on that. | ||
| He's got on a Fisher-Price goggle set from CVS. What is he doing? | ||
| He's being a dork. | ||
| Look at his outfit. | ||
| He's got his watch on? | ||
| Yeah, he might be one of them influencers. | ||
| But whoever this fella is, or maybe he's just a scientist that's a young kid, but whoever this fella is, like, you got balls. | ||
| Just to assume that thing doesn't want to just eat you. | ||
| But it's not even balls, though. | ||
| It is balls. | ||
| His name is Dr. Freak. | ||
| So you still don't know if he's a doctor or an influencer? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Freak Vonk? | ||
| Is that what it said? | ||
| Dr. Freak dies fucking with a boa. | ||
| I can see it. | ||
| What a great name. | ||
| Dr. Freak. | ||
| He sounds like he should be like one of them DJs at an EDM show. | ||
| Yeah, Dr. Freak's here. | ||
| What's the best name? | ||
| Marshmallow. | ||
| Dr. Freak. | ||
| The best name I've heard for anybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Solid name. | |
| Just a great friggin' name. | ||
| For like what? | ||
| For a human? | ||
| As a human name, yeah. | ||
| Like just as someone's first and last name. | ||
| I never even thought about that. | ||
| Nothing comes to mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about you? | ||
| Someone just said something to me a couple days ago and I was like, that is the fucking coolest name I've ever heard, but I don't fucking remember it. | ||
| But like it was something like Enrico Palazzo or something. | ||
| It was something like, you know. | ||
| Oh, like a good flairful name. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| If you have a flairful name and you're a fucking loser, that's gotta suck. | ||
| Yeah, that's gotta suck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| You got some beautiful name, but you turn out to be a loser? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a Dutch wildlife presenter, so he's like... | ||
| Oh, so he's a presenter, but is he also a doctor? | ||
| I don't want to call him Dr. Freak if he's not really a doctor. | ||
| That's a real bat thing? | ||
| That's a bear with wings right there? | ||
| Yeah, but that's a perspective thing. | ||
| If you've got to look where his feet are, he's standing behind it. | ||
| The bat's in front of the camera. | ||
| Still. | ||
| No, it's not as big as it looks. | ||
| Still. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Still. | ||
| I mean, it's probably kind of big. | ||
| He's not that far behind. | ||
| He's far enough. | ||
| Yeah, but if he got right up to it, it would be about that big. | ||
| No! | ||
| The rat body. | ||
| The body part. | ||
| I think if he got close to it... | ||
| Which kind is it? | ||
| By the way, how do those things exist and we don't talk about them or see them more? | ||
| Well, wing length is five feet. | ||
| Wing length is five feet. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's like foxes, fox size, I think. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Like fox sized? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Look at this lady. | ||
| Oh, my God, dude. | ||
| That's a lot bigger. | ||
| That one's fucking... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That's a thing of nightmares. | ||
| That's like Bram Stoker's Dracula where Gary Oldman turns into one of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| Who's even going near those things? | ||
| What are they? | ||
| They're in Bali. | ||
| There's a large, I guess, fruit bats? | ||
| We're so lucky they just like fruit. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah. | ||
| So the same way cows feel about vegans. | ||
| So happy. | ||
| You ever go over here to see bats? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Is it really 1.5 million? | ||
| I didn't count. | ||
| No, that's the stat they give you. | ||
| Yeah, that's the stat. | ||
| I don't know, but it's an insane amount of bats. | ||
| It's a sight to see. | ||
| Oh yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| I've seen it from a distance, but I've never gone and stood there. | ||
| It's a cloud of bats. | ||
| You get shit on? | ||
| Well, you probably would if you were under them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, where it is is like where the bridge meets the water. | ||
| So I imagine when they're flying out, they shit on the water. | ||
| You know, there was a couple doctors died. | ||
| Because they were standing in front of this cave in Africa where bats, it's like fucking millions and millions of bats in this cave. | ||
| And every night they would come out and they wanted to get photographs of these bats coming out of the cave. | ||
| So they're sitting there waiting. | ||
| The bats come out of the cave and just drench them in shit. | ||
| Millions and millions of bats just shitting in their face. | ||
| And they didn't think of that. | ||
| And they got some crazy hemorrhagic virus. | ||
| And they were both dead in a matter of days. | ||
| Again, I'm just thinking of the obit for that. | ||
| You tell them, their great-grandfather got shit on by too many bats at one time. | ||
| And it just went south from that. | ||
| He's a bat scientist that didn't think about this one thing. | ||
| How do you not know that's about to happen? | ||
| Or maybe they just didn't think it would be the volume it would be. | ||
| See if you can find that case. | ||
| That sounds different. | ||
| How did it come to be down here? | ||
| Why are they all here? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know, but apparently they eat the mosquitoes. | ||
| There's more in Houston. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, it's a migration and a mixture of two different colonies. | ||
| They fly from Mexico. | ||
| Dude, they're so cool. | ||
| When they come out at night and you hear them. | ||
| That's the sound they make? | ||
| And you see them fucking flying over like, whoa, look at them all. | ||
| They're cool. | ||
| And they apparently do just fuck those mosquitoes up. | ||
| Imagine if the bats weren't around and we had like way more mosquitoes. | ||
| Because apparently they love mosquitoes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You guys don't have a mosquito problem down here then, I'm assuming. | ||
| We do. | ||
| No, I wouldn't say it's a mosquito problem. | ||
| Alaska has a mosquito problem. | ||
| You ever been to Anchorage in July? | ||
| No. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| You get out of your fucking car. | ||
| I went, but it was August 1st. | ||
| You get out of your car, it's like a scene from The Birds, like the Alfred Hitchcock movie. | ||
| Or Alfred Hitchcock. | ||
| No? | ||
| I went to Australia in the desert and stuff, and they had to wear nets, because the bugs just land on you and just stay there. | ||
| Is it Alfred Hitchcock or Albert Hitchcock? | ||
| Alfred. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once you say it wrong, your brain goes, wait, which one's the right one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those words, you don't hear Alfred or Albert anymore. | ||
| Kids, these days. | ||
| No, there's so many things you don't hear. | ||
| You do not get called Alfred. | ||
| Alfred's dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My dead name is... | ||
| Alfred. | ||
| I've never heard that name. | ||
| I think Alfred is probably more... | ||
| It's a beautiful name. | ||
| It is, and I think it's probably more Alfreds than other names, though. | ||
| Adolf's gone. | ||
| That's a wrap. | ||
| You can't name your kid Adolf. | ||
| You can name your kid Genghis. | ||
| Nobody would flinch. | ||
| That dude killed 10% of the population of the earth. | ||
| I know, everybody's like, wow, what a cool name. | ||
| Is it spiritual? | ||
| Do you feel connected to the Mongols? | ||
| Everybody would be cool with that name. | ||
| Is this like, as in Khan? | ||
| You could call him Temujin, which is Genghis Khan's real name. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Genghis Khan was a stage name? | ||
| No, it was like, he was a Khan. | ||
| Khan is the ruler. | ||
| And I think, I don't know what it means. | ||
| What does Genghis mean? | ||
| It's something about who he is as a ruler. | ||
| But his name, he was born, his name that he was given at birth was Temujin. | ||
| Then he became a con. | ||
| So you could call your kid Temujin and you'd be naming your kid after someone who killed 10% of the population of Earth while he was alive. | ||
| You think Genghis ever thought his ancestors would own the Jacksonville Jaguars? | ||
| It says, Temujin formally adopted the title Genghis Khan, the meaning of which is uncertain. | ||
| At an assembly in 1206, carrying out reforms designed to ensure long-term stability, he then transformed the Mongols' tribe... | ||
| Structure into an integrated meritocracy dedicated to the service of the ruling family. | ||
| After thwarting a coup attempt from a powerful shaman. | ||
| Oh, what a wild time to be alive. | ||
| Warlords and shamans are trying to get a coup on you. | ||
| Genghis began to consolidate his power in 1209. He led a large-scale raid into the neighboring Western Z. Who agreed to Mongol terms the following year. | ||
| Yeah, he did a lot of wild shit. | ||
| We could go on and on for that. | ||
| He killed a lot of fucking humans, man. | ||
| Dan Carlin probably had the answer in his podcast about that, right? | ||
| This is just from the Wikipedia. | ||
| Yeah, Dan Carlin's podcast is the best source of that. | ||
| If you want to know a cool story that's entertaining that you could follow along with, it's the wrath of the Khan. | ||
| The Replicon. | ||
| It's all about that duo. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| But my point is, like, you could name your kid Demogen. | ||
| Nobody would freak out. | ||
| Name your kid Adolph, and he can't hang out with my kids. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| You can't bring Adolph over the house. | ||
| He's four. | ||
| He doesn't know. | ||
| That's the number one name, right? | ||
| But what's number two? | ||
| Adolf is a layup, right? | ||
| Everyone knows no Adolf. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is there even a two? | ||
| Is he alone on his own now? | ||
| I think he's alone on his own. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because, like, Joseph Stalin existed before I was born. | ||
| I'm Joseph Rogan. | ||
| Like, nobody flinched on Joseph. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Such a piece of shit. | ||
| Such a piece of shit, but yet, you can still say it. | ||
| Osama bin Laden. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well... | ||
| The rest of these are not real. | ||
| Yeah, Osama would be a hard one. | ||
| Yeah, that's a hard one. | ||
| Hussein would be a hard one. | ||
| Illegal baby names in the United States? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Illegal? | |
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| Jesus Christ? | ||
| You can't name your kid Jesus Christ? | ||
| You can't name your kid King? | ||
| You're kidding me. | ||
| You're kidding me right now. | ||
| You can't name your kid. | ||
| It's against the law. | ||
| You can't name your kid Santa Claus. | ||
| You can't name him the Atsimul. | ||
| Bro, you can't name your kid Magistry. | ||
| It says they were ruled illegal, but I don't... | ||
| You can't name your kid Majesty? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Why can't you name it 1069? | ||
| Wait a minute, you can't name your kid Messiah, but you can name him Muhammad? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Help me out. | ||
| No, it doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Help me out, because a lot of kids are named Muhammad. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Yeah, but why 1069? | ||
| What the hell's that? | ||
| Robocop's illegal in Mexico? | ||
| Robocop's illegal in Mexico? | ||
| No, no, no, my friend. | ||
| No, my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| We draw the line, my friend. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| It's not like they're getting caught in the hospital, so it has to get word. | ||
| So there's a knock at the door one day, it's the police, and they're like, we gotta rename your son right now. | ||
| Robocop. | ||
| This is from the US birth certificates dot com. | ||
| Robocop Martinez. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The N-word's on there. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of them. | ||
| There's a lot of illegal names. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't know you couldn't name your kid Jesus Christ, but I know a dude named Jesus. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| This is Jesus. | ||
| I mean, it's just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But are you allowed to be... | ||
| Can't throw the Christ in there. | ||
| What if your last name is Christ, and you want to name your kid Jesus? | ||
| I mean, there's some Christs out there. | ||
| Some dudes, their last name is Christ. | ||
| What are they supposed to do? | ||
| I can't name my son Jesus? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| How come you can name your son Muhammad? | ||
| How come you can't name your son Jesus? | ||
| Think about how many Muhammads there were. | ||
| Think about if it was like... | ||
| The most popular name in the world. | ||
| If it was in vogue to name your kid Jesus. | ||
| Just millions of Jesuses. | ||
| So many Jesuses. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Because if you think about how many Mohammeds there are, why are there not an equal number of Jesuses? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because we don't allow it. | ||
| It's a weakness in our religion. | ||
| That would become meta. | ||
| Because then Jesus would be really omnipresent. | ||
| Yeah, the Christians should get together and say, guys, it's a weakness in our religion. | ||
| We've got to let people name themselves Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's... | ||
| Encourage it. | ||
| I'm going to change my name to Jesus. | ||
| It's a walking billboard. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Jesus Robinson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Everybody just comes Jesus and then whatever your last name is. | ||
| You know, I knew a Jesus and as I'm thinking of this, I was able to compartmentalize it. | ||
| I didn't think of Jesus every time I called him Jesus. | ||
| Was he actually Jesus? | ||
| He was called Jesus, not Jesus? | ||
| We called him Jesus, yeah. | ||
| But was he Mexican? | ||
| He was of some Hispanic descent. | ||
| I don't know what. | ||
| Did his mom call him Jesus? | ||
| He was my nephew's friend. | ||
| I didn't know him like... | ||
| But everybody called him... | ||
| Did they call him Jesus because they couldn't say Jesus? | ||
| Or was his name actually Jesus? | ||
| I think his name was Jesus. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what about Jesus the comic? | ||
| There's a dude that... | ||
| Trejo, right? | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| No, that's Jesus. | ||
| I call him Jesus. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he's Mexican. | ||
| They don't say it that way. | ||
| They don't say it that way, yeah. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| But how do they say Jesus, though, in Spanish? | ||
| Isn't it Jesus Christe? | ||
| It is, but we... | ||
| So it's Jesus. | ||
| Everybody called the guy Jesus. | ||
| Ain't that wild? | ||
| Stop for a second. | ||
| So if you're Spanish... | ||
| Of Latin descent, it is really popular to name your kid Jesus. | ||
| Because Jesus is a super common name. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's stuck up. | ||
| White people in America won't name their kid Jesus. | ||
| It just takes a courageous person right now listening to our voice. | ||
| Just a courageous person out there to name your kid Jesus. | ||
| If you name him Jesus, that second name, that last name has to be... | ||
| It's gotta go with it. | ||
| I think a lot of things won't go with Jesus. | ||
| You know what goes best with it? | ||
| Fucking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Jesus fucking Robinson. | ||
| Can you do that? | ||
| Can you name your middle name fucking? | ||
| That'd be so great. | ||
| I don't know if you can, but I think you can legally change your name more likely than you can be naming a baby that way. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Like, you rude asshole. | ||
| You're gonna name your kid this little beautiful, innocent baby. | ||
| You're gonna name him Jesus fucking Robinson. | ||
| No, you'd have to... | ||
| But if you were an adult, you're like, look, I'm 38 years old. | ||
| Things are not getting any better. | ||
| This is life for me. | ||
| I want to be Jesus fucking Robinson. | ||
| I want to be legally. | ||
| So at the very least, I pull my ID out. | ||
| What's your name? | ||
| Jesus fucking Robinson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So good. | |
| It's a good name. | ||
| Says it on the wallet. | ||
| It's a good name. | ||
| Solid name. | ||
| Especially if you could do something real good. | ||
| If, like, that's your actual real birth name and you're really good at, like, fucking fixing cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're gonna get your car fixed by Jesus fucking Robinson. | ||
| I was almost a Steve, my mom told me. | ||
| I was almost a Steve, but my dad's Sal, so thankfully I got his name. | ||
| That's a better name for an Italian. | ||
| Steve is, you know... | ||
| I'm half. | ||
| Yeah, but you look Italian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I actually just did 23andMe, like all the extended package genetic thing. | ||
| I just got my results by a couple days ago. | ||
| Pretty crazy. | ||
| Do you ever do it? | ||
| Yeah, I've done it. | ||
| Did you like what you gleaned from it? | ||
| Was it interesting, or...? | ||
| It was pretty much what I thought. | ||
| It was. | ||
| Yeah, I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of three-quarters Italian and one-quarter Irish. | ||
| And there's like percentages less because there's like 1.6% African, 1% Asian. | ||
| And it seems to be mostly just Italian, though. | ||
| Yeah, it all goes back to the same. | ||
| They were able to connect me to... | ||
| It said in there, there's like about... | ||
| For the woman, it was 150,000 years. | ||
| For the male, it was 275,000 years. | ||
| They said if you trace everyone back, it'll go to one person. | ||
| Because even though there were a few thousand, a lot of that DNA and that lineage died off. | ||
| And there was this one that just ended up getting through. | ||
| I literally just read it today. | ||
| I took a picture of it on my phone, actually. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Just the unlikelihood of you making it to 2024. Like, your genes... | ||
| If you were a person that lived 50,000 years ago, your kid... | ||
| Had a kid and kept going. | ||
| No, they had a kid. | ||
| Someone had a kid. | ||
| Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. | ||
| Here we are. | ||
| 50,000 years later, your genes are still popping. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's just wild to me. | ||
| So, the first man to carry likely lived this gene that I have. | ||
| Likely lived in Southwestern Asia or the Caucasus between 46,000 and 54,000 years ago. | ||
| His male line descendants appear to remain rooted in the region for tens of thousands of years while the Ice Age was in full swing. | ||
| Then, around 11,500 years ago, the Ice Age finally gave way to the warmer climate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| But, hold on, this is the guy. | ||
| The human species was confined to a relatively small range in eastern and southern Africa. | ||
| Over time, members of this gene pool migrated. | ||
| There was one that said you could trace it, right? | ||
| If every person living today could trace his or her maternal line back over thousands of generations, all of our lines would meet at a single woman who lived in eastern Africa between 150,000 and 200,000 years ago. | ||
| Though she was one of perhaps thousands of women alive at the time, only the diverse branches of her DNA have survived to today. | ||
| The story of your maternal line begins with her. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And for the guys, it's 275,000 years ago. | ||
| Current evidence suggests he was one of thousands of men who lived in Eastern Africa. | ||
| However, while his male line descendants passed down their Y chromosome generation after generation, the lineages from the other men died out. | ||
| After time, he was a lone guy. | ||
| And they told me I'm related to this dude. | ||
| You ready? | ||
| Literally a known guy. | ||
| O.T. the Iceman. | ||
| No way! | ||
| I swear to God, let me read you this. | ||
| Dude, I've seen that story a hundred times. | ||
| Have you? | ||
| That story's crazy. | ||
| This is what it says about this dude. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| It says, Oti the Iceman was discovered in 1991 protruding from a snowbank. | ||
| We'll get Jamie to show some pictures of it. | ||
| We've shown it before. | ||
| I know the exact story. | ||
| So that's it right there. | ||
| Look how dope it looks. | ||
| They found him as the glacier melted. | ||
| He's got an arrowhead stuck in him. | ||
| That's like my uncle. | ||
| That's nuts, dude. | ||
| You're related to that guy. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Isn't that insane? | ||
| Probably a lot of people are. | ||
| He had tattoos. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Yeah, he had tattoos. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at what he looked like. | ||
| Had the world oldest tattoos, it said. | ||
| See if you can go back to that thing that you were reading? | ||
| Just there? | ||
| Right below that. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Had the world's oldest tattoos. | ||
| How were they made? | ||
| The oldest tattoos that we know about, right? | ||
| So he had 61 tattoos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He had like a tramp stamp? | ||
| Yeah, he had a tramp stamp. | ||
| Oh, he had a bunch of lines carved in him. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Look at that, all those lines. | ||
| Even back then, they're like tattoos. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that wild? | ||
| Might have been a part of ancient healing technique. | ||
| Hmm, that's just guessing, right? | ||
| It said that he was murdered. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Oh, because of the arrow, but it said it might have been from someone, or it might have been someone that he knew. | ||
| Mm. | ||
| Chemical analysis of his teeth indicate he came from the Italian side of the Alps. | ||
| He suffered during the year before his death with whipworm, a stomach parasite that was found in his digestive tract, yet he was fit enough. | ||
| Ailing with whipworm for a year to climb 6,500 feet in elevation during the day or two before he met his end in a rocky alpine hollow. | ||
| Apparently was murdered, struck by a stone arrow point that was found large in his left shoulder. | ||
| The twisted position of his body indicates that the murderer or one of his accomplices pulled the arrow's shaft out of his prone body. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Whoever killed him didn't want his valuables because he had a wrought copper axe still with him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They just wanted to kill him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And you're related to that dude. | ||
| That dude jizzed in someone. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Before he died by an arrow, he jizzed in someone and that made it to 2024. I'm not here if he's not there. | ||
| No, you're not here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If he didn't get that nut off, that's fucking wild. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably some tattooed up crazy cave lady. | ||
| Two of them just grunting, smelling like shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| I mean, nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She screams. | |
| She wants a baby. | ||
| Can we have a fucking baby? | ||
| And fucking 50,000 years later, I have a show on Truth. | ||
| We're on TBS now, actually. | ||
| It really is kind of crazy if you think about how the timeline of people goes. | ||
| I mean, we can't imagine living back then. | ||
| Just unimaginable. | ||
| I can't put it in my head. | ||
| How long ago? | ||
| What is the exact thousand years ago that guy supposedly lived? | ||
| That one said 50,000. | ||
| I mean, who can wrap that up? | ||
| 5,300 years ago. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But the first man that they have DNA from was 275,000 years ago. | ||
| So he's from 5,000 years ago. | ||
| Just imagine... | ||
| 5,300. | ||
| He's a kid. | ||
| Imagine 5,000 years ago, you'd just get dropped off. | ||
| And you gotta just exist. | ||
| Yeah, I mean like even imagine like language, right? | ||
| Yeah, even the primary language is like it still was secular like even if you Had to travel somewhere and you had some type of language that you kind of rooted with who you were with That didn't translate when you came across someone that you didn't know you go to Vietnam. | ||
| Good luck talking to people So was it just, I guess, like, you know, was it killing people on sight or did they kind of go by, like, body language? | ||
| I think people who traveled had to learn languages, for sure. | ||
| You probably had to have people help you or work with somebody from that. | ||
| But how many of them can you learn? | ||
| If you're living in somewhere in North America and you go to China in, like, the 1800s, like, how much communication can you do? | ||
| Like, Oh, did you see that new thing they're working on, the AI earpiece? | ||
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| Is it Ted Talk about it? | ||
| So this guy, he's like, okay, this is an all-new thing that they're doing. | ||
| He's in a restaurant. | ||
| He goes, my friend's across the other end of the restaurant. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Then he isolates his voice, and then he's speaking in Spanish, and they do real-time, not translation, His voice is reinterpreted in his voice in English as he speaks Spanish in real time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's hearing this isolated from across the room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I mean, in one respect, you literally eliminate every single language barrier across Earth with this technology. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But in the other, you're Superman. | ||
| It can isolate a conversation. | ||
| I think it can only isolate that conversation if those people have those things on, too. | ||
| But why would anyone wear that? | ||
| Well, you would have to let someone use it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, if you were talking to someone through that on the other side... | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| No, they weren't talking. | ||
| He was listening to his conversation. | ||
| He was just listening to... | ||
| I thought it was the people in the room having the conversation. | ||
| I thought they were doing it. | ||
| This guy was in the room with the earpiece on. | ||
| He's looking clear across the room at two people at a table talking, and he's just listening. | ||
| Oh, so he said isolate. | ||
| Oh, I misunderstood. | ||
| I thought when I saw the narrating that what they were saying, what he was saying was, you could do that if you were those two people. | ||
| You could isolate. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, you could just listen to them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's fucking creepy. | ||
| But he wasn't pitching it. | ||
| This is a TED Talk, so it's like, I don't know what the technology... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, can you enhance the sounds that are right in front of me? | |
| How far away is he from them? | ||
| I think he says in the beginning they're across the room or something. | ||
| Oh, I guess he's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And, uh, can you turn that baby down? | |
| That's better. | ||
| And, you know, I'm still having a little trouble hearing Pedro. | ||
| Can you isolate Pedro for me? | ||
| No, he's on stage right now for the TED Talk, so he's not with them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's perfect. | |
| And, you know, my Spanish is a little rusty. | ||
| Can I hear Pedro but in English? | ||
| And at the end of the trip, we came back to the city to visit the historic center. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Let it go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard was a beamforming app, a computational auditory scene analysis app, a machine learning denoising app, an AI transcription and translation and text-to-speech with style transfer app. | |
| So these are not just fancy-looking earbuds. | ||
| They're an entire computer. | ||
| And we think they're going to replace some of what we do with the visual computers that we're used to. | ||
| Well, it cuts off right there. | ||
| Here's the thing, though. | ||
| What was he watching? | ||
| Was he watching a video of people talking and then do that? | ||
| Because that makes more sense. | ||
| I don't think he's actually eavesdropping on people across the room. | ||
| I think what he's doing is watching a video of people having a conversation and tuning in to those people and taking all the outside noise out and then translating those people in that video in real time. | ||
| Was he watching a video of those people? | ||
| I think he's watching a video. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Which makes more sense. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Am I right? | ||
| Well, the problem is that they're showing something that probably doesn't work that way also. | ||
| They're bullshitting. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| But when they're showing it, he's watching a video though, right? | ||
| I'm trying to show you what they were doing. | ||
| Because he's on stage. | ||
| Yeah, he's on stage. | ||
| It's not like it just happens to be a cafe in the room where no one's noticing. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| But that's part of why it's just a weird tech demo of showing you don't really know what they were doing and how much work was set up to do that specific, like, did it just translate the sentence they wanted it to translate? | ||
| And was it all planned in advance? | ||
| And then they show, like, they did do a setup here, so I'll let him explain what they did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, R. It's actually impossible to demonstrate this experience until you hear it with your ears yourself. | |
| But to give you an idea, we have tried to simulate it for you. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, imagine that you're sitting in a noisy restaurant. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it doesn't... | ||
| But it's going to be able to do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's going to be able to do that. | ||
| If he's doing a TED talk on it and they're getting this far along with it, unless he's like, what's that crazy lady, Elizabeth, what's her name? | ||
| What's her name again? | ||
| Elizabeth Theranos. | ||
| Theranos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what was her last name? | ||
| The crazy lady from San Francisco with the blood company. | ||
| You know the story? | ||
| Theranos. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Blood testing company that just was straight bullshit. | ||
| It was a trial, right? | ||
| Elizabeth Holmes. | ||
| Oh, yeah, she's just lost. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the story behind it is crazy. | ||
| It's like some people were testing them and they're like, hey, this doesn't work. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was just this wild scam. | ||
| I have my DNA saved. | ||
| DNA and sperm. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had the option. | ||
| I was like, let me do it. | ||
| You might as well. | ||
| You got all the way from the Iceman to today. | ||
| It'd be a shame if we lost you. | ||
| You know, if it died here, if that's it. | ||
| Did you hear about the cryogenic people? | ||
| You know how they started cryogenically freezing people a long time ago? | ||
| Yeah, they actually thawed out. | ||
| Yeah, some of them, it didn't work. | ||
| No! | ||
| The one headline was they were scraping goo off the bottom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Yeah, whoops. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, if the power goes out and you thaw out, that's a wrap. | ||
| That shit's fascinating. | ||
| Isn't it only like one company or something that's doing that? | ||
| Imagine if you're in heaven, okay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you died, you went to heaven, and you're like, God, I'm free of all my earthly pulls, and I just feel one connected, and all of a sudden, shoot! | ||
| You get sucked back to life again. | ||
| And they're stitching your fucking head on this new body. | ||
| And you're alive now, but you're paralyzed. | ||
| But with new technology, they can keep you alive forever. | ||
| You're like, no! | ||
| And what year is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations, Walt Disney's back! | |
| No! | ||
| Imagine if you were in heaven. | ||
| But imagine if during the process of reattaching your head it made your mouth paralyzed so you couldn't even talk. | ||
| Hell. | ||
| That's hell. | ||
| It's like the fucking movie where they eat each other's toe to each other's ass. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| If you're dead for like a hundred years, and a hundred years of heaven, this is so much nicer than being alive. | ||
| Oh my god, everyone's just, there's no arguments. | ||
| It's just love, beauty, and just the expression of love and geometric patterns, and it flows through you, and we all bathe in it. | ||
| No one needs to eat, no one needs to sleep. | ||
| I've arrived. | ||
| It's just love, and then all of a sudden, like a funnel. | ||
| Clear! | ||
| Sucking you back down. | ||
| They're just stitching your fucking head. | ||
| You can't talk because your mouth's paralyzed. | ||
| Yeah, and they pay for that. | ||
| A lot of money, too, probably. | ||
| Also, I think it's more money if you want the whole body. | ||
| The one thing I was thinking is, let's just say, right, it works one day the way that they thought it would work. | ||
| What are you coming back to? | ||
| Everybody that didn't do it is dead. | ||
| You know no one. | ||
| You probably are not going to be able to adjust to whatever society they're in now. | ||
| Who knows how people would treat you? | ||
| You're really signing up for something. | ||
| It's like, what are you signing up for? | ||
| I think they're signing up for the hope that if they do get reincarnated, it's like Space 2001. Like, you get reincarnated to this crazy futuristic world where they could, shh, welcome back, welcome back. | ||
| How was your trip, sir? | ||
| You think they're trying to preserve consciousness? | ||
| Their consciousness? | ||
| I don't know what consciousness is, really. | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| I mean, I know I'm conscious. | ||
| I know you can have this conversation. | ||
| I think, therefore, I am. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I don't know if consciousness is something the brain tunes into or whether the brain is conscious. | ||
| I know if you damage parts of the brain, It damages parts of your consciousness and damages different things that you can do. | ||
| And they're pretty clear on what parts of the brain are responsible for different things. | ||
| But I'm not sure that consciousness is something as simple as neurons firing And your brain interfacing with the world and using all its senses. | ||
| I have a feeling that we might be short-sighted because we can't... | ||
| And again, this is not scientifically provable, so you have to be just speculative about something like this. | ||
| But I have a feeling there's probably quite a few things that we're not totally in tune with to the point where we can measure them. | ||
| And I think consciousness might be one of those things. | ||
| And I also think we are all weirdly connected in some strange consciousness web, some strange net of human beings. | ||
| I think we're all connected, all of us. | ||
| It's just the further those people are away, the less you feel that connection. | ||
| But I think we're all oddly connected already. | ||
| Before we get to, like, the cell phones in your head and everybody being telepathic, I think we're already oddly connected. | ||
| We just don't necessarily feel it all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I hope it's something. | ||
| I mean, I really do. | ||
| Did you ever have a moment where you think, I might die? | ||
| Like, did I ever come across, like, did you ever have that feeling? | ||
| I was a kid when I was like 14 me and a few friends were playing around in this place where they stored these like enormous concrete Like sewer pipes like these big fucking pipes and there was this This giant metal thing that I guess it was a part of what they would attach to a crane so they could move these things. | ||
| And it slipped and hit me in the head. | ||
| And I didn't go unconscious, but I grayed out, like, grayed out. | ||
| And my head was pouring blood. | ||
| I still have a big ding on the side of my head from it. | ||
| And I went to the hospital, and, like, I thought I was gonna die. | ||
| I did think I was gonna die at that point. | ||
| But I was also 14, so I was probably just freaked out by the fact that I got hit. | ||
| You know, like, this thing hit my head. | ||
| And it only fell, like, a certain amount because there was other concrete things in the way, so it banged me in the head, and it didn't fall on me, luckily. | ||
| But you're like, in the hospital, like thinking, you had the feeling like, I got hit so hard. | ||
| It hit me so hard. | ||
| It was so big. | ||
| I was like, this could be a real problem. | ||
| This could be a real, I was like, I could be dead right now, for sure. | ||
| So you haven't, those thoughts are running through your mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was okay. | ||
| I went to the hospital. | ||
| I'm sure I had some sort of a concussion. | ||
| They treated me. | ||
| I forget what they did. | ||
| But then they just let me go home. | ||
| You know, and I was just they were like, oh, he's okay. | ||
| Because I don't think they understood head trauma back then. | ||
| I don't think people really got it. | ||
| And I don't remember really suffering any like serious consequences of it. | ||
| I was never like I never had a problem like looking at the light. | ||
| I never had a problem with loud noises or anything like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was spooky. | ||
| That's probably the closest I've ever come to just really worrying about being dead. | ||
| I had one, but it was on a plane. | ||
| Yeah, it was bad. | ||
| To this day, if I think about it, I actually will have a little bit of an anxiety attack. | ||
| It was a small plane. | ||
| We had to do a show in the middle of nowhere on the road, and they offered a plane. | ||
| So we took it, and we were flying back home. | ||
| And it was like an eight-seat plane. | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| And I don't like flying at all anyway. | ||
| People are like, oh cool, you got to do that. | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| I mean, you see everything. | ||
| There's no door in the cockpit. | ||
| You see all the motion. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just like, this feels unsafe. | ||
| It feels like I'm flying in a toy airplane. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Any gust of wind, that's normal. | ||
| We kind of glide with it. | ||
| And it's like, I don't want to feel like we're up there surfing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And we were going to land, and we're just bullshitting with the guys, my friends, and we're talking, and the guy, right before we land, he starts to go back up again. | ||
| And I look at them and I go, what just happened there? | ||
| Like, why are we going back up? | ||
| And the guy, the co-pilot comes back and goes, guys, we have a little bit of a situation. | ||
| And he goes, what? | ||
| He goes, so we were about to land just now. | ||
| You might have noticed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, yeah. | |
| He goes, well, we were talking to air traffic control and our panel up here is saying that one of the wheels is not coming down. | ||
| The left wheel or whatever. | ||
| And so what we're going to do is, it could be a broken, the panel's broken, and it could actually be down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We don't know. | |
| So we're going to go fly around again, and we're going to ask them to look again just to make sure. | ||
| He's like, so it'll just be a couple of minutes. | ||
| So we made this big turn, and we go down to land again. | ||
| And again, we're getting down to like low, low, low. | ||
| They pull back up. | ||
| He comes back out. | ||
| This is what this motherfucker says. | ||
| He says, okay, so they can't tell. | ||
| It was at night. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're a small plane. | ||
| Maybe it's like a bullshit airport. | ||
| He goes, so they can't tell. | ||
| This is what he says. | ||
| He goes, but we don't have enough fuel to get anywhere else. | ||
| So we're going to go around a third time, and this time we're going to land the plane, no matter what. | ||
| So, I'm looking at him. | ||
| I immediately just start crying. | ||
| I'm like, not crying like, but like, I'm just welling up with tears. | ||
| Like, I'm going to die. | ||
| My biggest, one of my biggest fears is dying in a plane crash. | ||
| I just, I don't even like to think about it because I don't even want to put it out there. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my fucking God. | ||
| And I'm like, what's going to happen? | ||
| And he goes, in all seriousness, he goes, don't worry. | ||
| If the wheel doesn't come down or if it isn't down, the wing will act like a wheel. | ||
| That's what he said to us. | ||
| Because the wing is made to kind of act like a wheel. | ||
| It didn't give me any comfort in the moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| It slows down the plane. | ||
| Yeah, but we're still spinning out and sparks flying. | ||
| It's a little plane, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Yeah, and... | ||
| Oh, actually, no. | ||
| Nighttime was the same exact trip there and back. | ||
| The nighttime trip, it was like a storm and we were flying all over. | ||
| This was the daytime because they had fire trucks and ambulances lining on the thing. | ||
| Because by the time the third time we went around, they were there. | ||
| So they were waiting. | ||
| So that's another scary thing. | ||
| I actually took out my phone and I wrote a text to my entire family. | ||
| I saved the text. | ||
| I'm just like, there's a problem with the wheel. | ||
| I don't know exactly what's going to happen. | ||
| I'm literally like, I love you. | ||
| How did you send that? | ||
| Do you send that as you hit? | ||
| I literally wrote it in full as I was crying. | ||
| I wrote it in full as I was crying, and I had it open with my hand right on the thing. | ||
| Oh, fuck, dude. | ||
| So I was just going to wait, and I felt like I could just hit it. | ||
| I have the text that I see. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And my friend's such a fucking asshole. | ||
| Everyone's really nervous, but I think I'm showing it the most. | ||
| My buddy's a nutcase. | ||
| So he looks at me and he goes... | ||
| He's trying to calm me down, you know? | ||
| And he goes, just calm down, calm down, calm down. | ||
| And I'm like, alright, he goes, just relax. | ||
| And then he starts going... | ||
| And he starts singing fucking La Bamba. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And it breaks the tension and everything. | ||
| And I'm like, dude, and I'm crying and laughing so hard. | ||
| Because when you're in that heightened state of emotion, dude, I'm laughing as hard as I'm crying. | ||
| Now I'm like, I'm laughing so hard, I can't breathe, I can't tell him to stop doing it. | ||
| Because I need to be focused right now on the end of my possible life. | ||
| And I'm holding my thing and I'm laughing, I'm crying. | ||
| And then he goes, hold on, let me call my wife. | ||
| And he goes, Hello, baby! | ||
| Because the big popper fucking died for Richie Valens. | ||
| So he goes, hello, baby! | ||
| And I am literally can't breathe. | ||
| And I'm holding my stuff. | ||
| He's like, will I? What? | ||
| And then I'm just like, dude, I'm begging him, please stop. | ||
| I'm like laughing and crying. | ||
| Please stop, Joe. | ||
| And then we went to land and the wheel was out. | ||
| The wheel was out, man. | ||
| Man, we got out of the plane, and everybody was in good spirits, and I was still in that place. | ||
| And the fireman came over. | ||
| The first thing that happened was the fire guy opened the door and looked at me and goes, oh shit! | ||
|
unidentified
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He goes, can I get a picture? | |
| We get out of the plane, and it's the four of us and him take a picture. | ||
| I have the picture. | ||
| Everyone's smiling. | ||
| I'm on the end like this. | ||
| Just pale white. | ||
| No smile. | ||
| Just like... | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't even turn it on for the picture. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| It was my biggest fear coming true. | ||
| You go there. | ||
| You literally go there. | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| I was thinking this Could be how I die right now. | ||
| Ah man, where it takes you is nuts in your head. | ||
| Have you seen this new plane that they've developed that doesn't have wings? | ||
| And it's going to be able to fly to London from New York City like super quick. | ||
| Like way, way faster. | ||
| Like less than half the time. | ||
| UFO? It looks like a spaceship, man. | ||
| And apparently it's got, because it doesn't have a traditional shape, there's a lot more room inside of it. | ||
| So it's fucking huge. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's the technology? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I was just looking at some article about it, and it's a new supersonic craft that looks like... | ||
| It looks like a giant arrowhead or something. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It doesn't look like a regular plane. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| Oh, like a... | ||
| That's it right there? | ||
| Oh, that's not it, dude. | ||
| You fly from New York in 3.5 hours in this new supersonic jet. | ||
| Can I see what the images look like, though? | ||
| Oh, so this is going to be commercially marketed? | ||
| I thought it was like military. | ||
| That one seems like it. | ||
| That seemed like a military jet. | ||
| The one that I saw looked like that thing. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| 90 minutes. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing, bro. | ||
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Is that the same thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| That's just a view from the top, so you can see it doesn't have a regular wing. | ||
| It just has this crazy, immense space in the back, and you're gonna have room to stretch out. | ||
| They'll just stuff it with humans. | ||
| But probably not, because it's probably going to be super expensive. | ||
| That's only got room for one person. | ||
| That can't be the same thing, is it? | ||
| A passenger one? | ||
| It's an expensive ticket. | ||
| They was talking about one that could seat passengers. | ||
| It says commercial routes, but... | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| There's like one dude. | ||
| No, but I think there's one that they were working on. | ||
| Maybe I'm conflating two different stories, but there's one jet that they're working on that does not have wings. | ||
| And they were talking about it being able to have more space inside of it because of that. | ||
| Who's going on that? | ||
| Once it's approved, there's the first commercial flight. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing, bro. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that thing. | |
| That looks like a UFO. Wingless supersonic jet could transport passengers from London to New York in less than five hours. | ||
| How long does it take now? | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like six hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's not much faster. | |
| That's an hour faster, but you get to fly in a spaceship. | ||
| That's not fast at all. | ||
| An hour faster? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But it's supersonic? | ||
| And it doesn't fit in the airport. | ||
| I'll just book an early flight. | ||
| Bro, how dope is that? | ||
| Look, futuristic spaceship-like aircraft capable of transporting 300 passengers at speeds of up to 1,150 miles an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, wow. | |
| That's faster. | ||
| Yeah, so it's double the speed of a regular jet. | ||
| Even more, right? | ||
| A little bit more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look how dope it looks, though. | ||
| Bedrooms, bathroom suites. | ||
| Yeah, see so the inside of it is so different because it doesn't have that tube that it's got like space. | ||
| Yeah, but how are we how are we commercializing that like that cabin is gonna be comfortable? | ||
| You're not gonna feel 1100 miles an hour? | ||
| I guess not. | ||
| I mean we don't feel five six hundred. | ||
| Well once you're up Once you're up and moving, what you feel is the resistance of getting off the ground, right? | ||
| You feel like this pull. | ||
| And then once you level out in whatever the height that you're going to achieve is, whatever the altitude is, it doesn't feel like you're moving at all. | ||
| And you're going 500 miles an hour. | ||
| Is it made by a designer? | ||
| It's just that it's a concept. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| Private rooms for two travelers with a bedroom, living room, and an in-suite shower room. | ||
| And the living room will find a leather double-seat sofa complete with dining tables, a 32-inch flat-screen TV, noise-canceling headsets, a comfortable double bed, a full-height shower, vanity unit bathrobes, and an in-flight chef at your service. | ||
| I gotta tell you, the flat screen TV, it really gets more credit than it is. | ||
| That's a jet that goes 1,200 miles an hour. | ||
| It's a home in the air that goes 1,200 miles an hour. | ||
| It boasts a 32-inch flat screen TV. When was the last time you saw a screen that was a bubble? | ||
| Can we stop saying flat screen? | ||
| It's like the thing is, who is it for? | ||
| Who can purchase that ticket? | ||
| And you're like, one of the things I'm dangling in front of you is a 32-inch flat screen television. | ||
| It says right here, nobody has shown interest in building the Sky OV Evo yet, but Oscar said he is offering his expertise to engineers, helping them in other projects. | ||
| So this is just an idea. | ||
| Bro, you can just get a hold of them Saudi Arabian dudes. | ||
| That's it though. | ||
| Those guys with all that loot, they might go, hey, how much to make it work? | ||
| I like a guy who's like, how much is like, alright, it's two billion. | ||
| He's like, alright, you throw in the 32-inch flat screen, you've got to deal with it. | ||
| I want a bathrobe. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| My hands are tied. | ||
| Let me go talk to my manager. | ||
| Let me go talk to my manager. | ||
| We never do this. | ||
| But it's December to remember, and you gotta, you know. | ||
| Yeah, it's our fucking, I tell you what, it's the end of the month, it's the sales push. | ||
| He's gonna let it go. | ||
| He's gonna give you the flat screen with your fucking spaceship. | ||
| Saudi wife walks outside her house on Christmas, there's one in the driver with a bow on it. | ||
| Yeah, they'd probably be like, this Stevie's bullshit. | ||
| Look how small. | ||
| Look at the revolution. | ||
| Just get through this. | ||
| I want a big one. | ||
| 32 inch flat. | ||
| Just say flat screen. | ||
| That is not that big. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| Just say flat. | ||
| Why not put it's 85? | ||
| There's like a hundred. | ||
| Why even flat screen? | ||
| Why say that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't everybody know? | ||
| They say, hey, your car comes with four round tires. | ||
| Oh, round tires. | ||
| Oh, it's a flat screen. | ||
| They're round tires. | ||
| Hey, what kind of tires do you have? | ||
| Does everybody have round tires? | ||
| Why do they keep calling them round tires? | ||
| Another super fun flight thing would be 12 rows of 33 people each. | ||
| Imagine being in the middle. | ||
| Oh, God, if you have to piss. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You didn't get a bedroom seat? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What were the other things they boasted about? | ||
| I just think it's a period. | ||
| A shower, a TV, 32-inch flat-screen TV, noise-canceling headsets so you can't hear the other people in the poor section scream. | ||
| A double-seat sofa, what? | ||
| Imagine someone fucking going ballistic while you're going 1,000 miles an hour, because people go ballistic on planes now. | ||
| It's kind of a new thing. | ||
| They go crazy, see aliens, they start screaming, they're gonna take the plane out. | ||
| Like, it happens. | ||
| It seems like once a month there's some new video of some guy going bonkers on a fucking plane. | ||
| Some guy just ripped all his clothes off and ran up and down the aisles. | ||
| They had to land. | ||
| I just saw that. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Imagine the fear that you would have if you were on a plane and you saw some guy going bonkers and you're like, God damn it. | ||
| The anxiety you would have, like, fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As soon as you hear it start, you're like, what's this gonna be? | ||
| What is this gonna be? | ||
| What if it's like a new disease? | ||
| What if it's like that? | ||
| Did you ever see that movie 28 Days Later? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When they shot the chimps up with this thing called Rage. | ||
| Yeah, Rage. | ||
| The chimps gets out and gets that dude and then the fucking... | ||
| Was that the first zombie movie that they were super fast? | ||
| Yeah, that was the best. | ||
| Cillian Murphy? | ||
| Yeah, that, in my opinion, is the best zombie movie. | ||
| I saw that two days in a row. | ||
| It's one of like five movies I've seen two days in a row. | ||
| The second one's good, too. | ||
| I went to it opening night because I was like, this is amazing, and I didn't like it as much. | ||
| Well, the first one was so revolutionary. | ||
| And it was a different concept, like a man-created zombie virus that just infects everyone immediately, instantly, turns you into a fucking monster. | ||
| But the thing is, that virus is kind of like what rabies is. | ||
| Rabies isn't as effective because it doesn't turn you into a screaming, running maniac trying to bite people. | ||
| But the reason why animals with rabies bite you, they have no fear of you and they bite you to give you rabies. | ||
| They're trying to give it to you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| You're saying that something in the composition of rabies elicits the need to pass it on? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| How does that... | ||
| I can't compute that. | ||
| There's a lot of examples in nature of viruses and parasites tricking organisms into doing things that are not in their best interest. | ||
| And I think a virus could easily find a way to hijack the way an animal's mind works and to force it to be aggressive if it wanted to be transmitted a lot. | ||
| That's the only reason why it would make sense that they would want to be, because if they're so aggressive, they could risk death. | ||
| Like, an animal being recklessly aggressive is not good for its longevity, right? | ||
| Because you could be recklessly aggressive with a wolf or something that could kill you, and you run up on it, it just eats you. | ||
| But if you could bite it first... | ||
| Then you can give it rabies, and then that thing's gonna bite a bunch of other things, especially if it's big enough to kill you. | ||
| Now it can bite everything. | ||
| There was a bunch of travelers that went across the country during the Lewis and Clark expedition, and a couple of them, I believe, got rabies. | ||
| I think more than one of them Got raped. | ||
| See if we can find that. | ||
| It kills everybody. | ||
| I know they have rabies shot, but without the shot, is that certain death? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like 99 point something percent certain death. | ||
| There's a few people that have survived now. | ||
| They've figured out a way to put people into medically induced comas. | ||
| And the problem is, this is obviously coming from someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, but what I understand is it's a very, very old virus. | ||
| And a dangerous one. | ||
| Because what it does is it works faster than your immune system can fight it off. | ||
| And so your immune system is fighting off rabies, but it can't win. | ||
| Rabies just hijacks everything and makes its way through. | ||
| And by putting someone in a medically induced coma, they found a way to reach equilibrium, where the resources of the person's body are not being required anymore, and the immune system can fight off the rabies. | ||
| And with medication, they were able to do it. | ||
| But they also, like, can get you, if you just got bit. | ||
| Yeah, how much time do you have? | ||
| You have, like, very little time. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| But you have, like, hours. | ||
| Oh shit, I didn't know that. | ||
| You gotta get to the hospital quickly. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| And they'll test, and hopefully if you have the animal that killed you, they want to test the animal, but they'll give you these shots that are apparently brutally painful. | ||
| I think they go into your stomach. | ||
| What did I ask you to Google right before that? | ||
| The Lewis and Clark thing, but I didn't see that. | ||
| So I'm now digging up, maybe it's another traveler, but... | ||
| The Lewis and Clark thing? | ||
| You didn't hear about a guy getting rabies? | ||
| I didn't see anything with that on my quick search. | ||
| It might have been another one of the dudes making it across the country stories, which I've read a lot of. | ||
| They're fucking terrifying. | ||
| Those days were terrifying. | ||
| But it's just like a virus like that that wants to be transmitted and it tricks the animal to being aggressive. | ||
| That's one of the weirder things about viruses. | ||
| They're so sneaky in how they evolve. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like these new COVID strains. | ||
| They realize the best thing to do is be like super transmissible, but not that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That way you stay alive. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You don't kill the host, you know? | ||
| And like there's so many instances in nature of things like tricking things into doing stuff, you know, like parasites that take over an animal's body and force it to do stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bleak. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The weirdest one is, we were talking about this the other day, grasshoppers that get this aquatic worm. | ||
| This aquatic worm climbs inside of it, hijacks its brain, and when it's ready to give birth, tricks the grasshopper into drowning itself so that it could be born. | ||
| So it just takes over the grasshopper's brain and then leaps into the fucking water so it can be born. | ||
| And so the grasshopper just drowns and it just slithers out of the grasshopper's body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's wild! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's wild! | ||
| Tricks it into committing suicide. | ||
| What's the evolution of that? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how is it so common? | ||
| It's so insanely common, apparently. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| So grasshoppers, they have a number one look out for this fucking thing? | ||
| I think they just have it. | ||
| I think a lot of them have it. | ||
| I think they've done studies on grasshoppers, and I think they've done this on praying mantises, too, but a lot of them have these worms in their bodies. | ||
| How often do you see a grasshopper? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, man, I haven't seen one in years. | ||
| Where are you living? | ||
| I live in New York. | ||
| What do you expect? | ||
| Yeah, I know, but... | ||
| You gotta go where grasshoppers live. | ||
| They don't come visit. | ||
| But where do they live? | ||
| Is it just grass? | ||
| I mean, they live in open fields. | ||
| I mean, I encounter grass. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I'm not gonna see one in the neighborhood? | ||
| No. | ||
| A residential neighborhood? | ||
| That's what I've seen in the past. | ||
| I haven't been in... | ||
| I guess there's probably a few. | ||
| I bet you I've seen less than 10 grasshoppers in front of my face in my life. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I've seen a lot of them. | ||
| Dude, Praying Mantis, as you mentioned, I don't like them at all. | ||
| They freak me the fuck out. | ||
| One time I was getting gas, and there was one right on the thing, and it was a road trip. | ||
| My friends were going to D.C., and it was like in the middle of the night, and I'm getting gas. | ||
| My friend, it was back in the days when they had the handheld camcorders, and we're like, oh, look at that thing, and I'm like, dude, it's like right here. | ||
| And he goes, here, take the camcorder. | ||
| I'm going to get the guest. | ||
| I'm filming the thing. | ||
| And it just turns and lunges at me. | ||
| And it literally looks like that fucking, like, what's that movie? | ||
| Alien? | ||
| No, no, the movie with the person standing in the corner. | ||
| It was like that horror movie with a handheld camera. | ||
| Oh, Blair Witch? | ||
|
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|
Because when we watch the footage, you just hear me go, yeah! | |
| Like, my voice got so high, and then the camera just drops, and it just goes to static. | ||
| But you see it lunge at me first. | ||
| Yeah, we're lucky they're little, huh? | ||
| What is that about, the ripping of the head off? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The prey mantis, the female, rips the male's head off after they have sex. | ||
| Well, she's just a bitch. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| That's a lot of it in the insect community. | ||
| No, is that true, right? | ||
| No, one of the worst ones is ants. | ||
| Some ants will take the male, and the females will take the male and cut all of his legs off and just drag them to the colony. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's got its legs off. | ||
| Here's a fun one. | ||
| This is like a history of rabies, and I got to this part of the hair of the dog. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| And work your way back to get this, how they used to treat rabies before they understood what the fuck it was. | ||
| Oh, is that what that reference is from? | ||
| It was recommended to salt and eat the flesh of the offending dog. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Another strategy included drowning a puppy of the same sex as a dog who had bitten the person and having a human victim eat the liver raw. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I lost what we're talking about here. | ||
| Rabies, rabies. | ||
| Had to get rid of it because they had no idea. | ||
| They knew that it was coming from canines. | ||
| They kind of got that. | ||
| So then you locate a puppy and just kill it? | ||
| What year was this, Jamie? | ||
| It doesn't say because it says where the book is coming from. | ||
| 1982. We're in the middle of Romans, the Greeks. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I wonder if the dog thing worked. | ||
| Like if you get some of the rabies virus through cooked meat. | ||
| Burning hair picked from the tail of the dog and inserting the ashes into the wound. | ||
| What? | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| This treatment lives on today. | ||
| Hair of the dog. | ||
| In a name and spirit with the hair of the dog. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Hangover cures, which calls for alleviating blood and alcohol-induced symptoms with more alcohol consumption. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're learning. | |
| Holy shit! | ||
| That's what the hair of the dog comes from? | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| Did that work? | ||
| Why do you gotta salt it? | ||
| For taste. | ||
| It tastes like shit. | ||
| Do me a favor, you gotta just bite that thing, eat it, put some salt on it for taste, but you gotta get in here. | ||
| You gotta salt up the meat. | ||
| Do you think you... | ||
| Do you have salt on you? | ||
| But it's probably how they ate meat. | ||
| Preserve it or something? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I mean, maybe they thought salt was gonna kill something. | ||
| Salt it. | ||
| I mean, that's how they preserved stuff back then. | ||
| They'd cover meat with salt. | ||
| They'd cover everything. | ||
| They had wars over salt. | ||
| Salt was really important, and now they gave it away for free. | ||
| Imagine being someone from the salt war days and going into a restaurant like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| You got a whole jar of this? | ||
| Are you fucking insane? | ||
| What, you just twist it whenever you want? | ||
| Who the fuck is Salt Bae? | ||
| This fucking asshole! | ||
| What does he do with the salt? | ||
| Can you imagine how they would freak out if you took them to Salt Bay? | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Especially if you get the state covered in gold. | ||
| Like, you fucking asshole! | ||
| If Salt Bay gets bit, he's like, ah! | ||
| How many villagers I had to slaughter to get that much gold? | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you, you animal? | ||
| They lost the thread on how they got it. | ||
| This guy wrote a book, early 19th century, on causes of rabies. | ||
| There's an interesting one when you get to the fourth cause. | ||
| It says, the bite of a rabid animal was named first. | ||
| It was quickly followed up by a cold night air, eating beach nuts, a fall, and the involuntary association of ideas. | ||
| Can I ask some more of the weed that we were smoking? | ||
| Just because I need to understand that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| This guy was smart and bright for his time, but it's like just proof that they didn't know what rabies was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| What does that mean? | ||
| So you don't know what it means either? | ||
| Involuntary association of ideas can cause rabies? | ||
| To give this guy credit, he is, I think, one of the first people to accurately describe it as a disease of the nervous system as opposed to blood-borne. | ||
| What do you think that means, an involuntary association of ideas? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Isn't that just life? | ||
| Involuntary association. | ||
| Like someone could get some wild ideas in your head and those can cause rabies? | ||
| Is that what it means? | ||
| I'll type in rabies and see if anything comes up. | ||
| Did you want any of this? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| That seems so... | ||
| It seems so ridiculous. | ||
| I didn't really understand what the sentence meant. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Clinical features of rabies patients with abnormal sexual behaviors as the presenting manifestations. | ||
| Abnormal sexual. | ||
| So the rabies wants to be transmitted sexually? | ||
| Yeah, what does abnormal sexual behavior mean? | ||
| A 32-year-old man with frequent ejaculation as the initial symptom of rabies was first reported. | ||
| Wow, I just fucking can't stop. | ||
| Won't stop. | ||
| I know a lot of guys with rabies, then. | ||
| Dental literature review was conducted using databases including CNKI, Sinomed, VIP, Wangfang, Data, Science, Direct, ProQuest, Ovid, and PubMed. | ||
| In addition to our case, 54 other rabies cases with abnormal sexual behaviors are the presenting manifestations ever reported since 1970. Among 55 cases, 51 were male. | ||
| Durr. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And three were female. | ||
| Unknown gender for one case. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Even back then? | ||
| With ages ranging from 6 to 71 years. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| All cases were reported in developing countries. | ||
| 46 in China, dog bites were the major source of infection, and extremities were the main exposure sites. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| 83%. | ||
| 83.6% cases had abnormal sexual behaviors as the initial symptoms. | ||
| The major presenting manifestations were... | ||
| What is that word? | ||
| Pre-apism? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Pre-apism? | ||
| Am I reading this right? | ||
| You get bit by a dog in China and you just start ejaculating everywhere? | ||
| Just coming. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| A rare condition... | ||
| Oh, a prolonged erection of the penis. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The full or partial erection continues hours behind. | ||
| It isn't caused by sexual stimulation. | ||
| So that's what this is. | ||
| This is like... | ||
| They're so wild and randy. | ||
| That they have a constant heart on and ejaculation in males and hypersexuality in females. | ||
| All cases were clinically diagnosed based on medical history and clinical manifestations. | ||
| Given no standardized post-exposure prophylaxis, all cases died. | ||
| With the survival time between 1 and 15 days. | ||
| Yeah, most people who get rabies die. | ||
| Do you think that that jizz had rabies in it? | ||
| Let's hope. | ||
| It makes the story more fun. | ||
| Take out the rabies part of it, right? | ||
| You get something where you have that disease. | ||
| You got the heart on you can't get rid of, you just keep ejaculating. | ||
| Ejaculating is fun. | ||
| How long before it's not... | ||
| Is it like in 20 minutes you don't like it anymore? | ||
| A couple days? | ||
| If you're just constantly feeling the feeling of ejaculation, is it like, can you perform your regular tasks? | ||
| It's another level of hell, just like that fucking head getting sewn back on the body. | ||
| It's hell, right? | ||
| But how fast is it hell? | ||
| Like in 20 minutes. | ||
| If it's 20 minutes, it's hell for you. | ||
| Yeah, you're exhausted and you just keep coming. | ||
| 21 minutes, you're like, I can't take this anymore. | ||
| Yeah, imagine never not being horny. | ||
| That would be hell. | ||
| What is this guy? | ||
| He's got it? | ||
| He has a hundred orgasms a day. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| Yeah, and zero friends. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| That's all that is. | ||
| He looks like he was having a blast. | ||
| He's faking it. | ||
| Maybe he's got rabies. | ||
| He's faking it. | ||
| Nobody comes that hard after 199. There's 100 orgasms. | ||
| That's the 100th one. | ||
| He's lying there. | ||
|
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|
I can't believe it still rocks. | |
| He's like, I'm sorry, babe. | ||
| He's like, no way! | ||
| If you've ever jizzed more than three times in a day, the third one is dust. | ||
| The third one is just... | ||
| The third one is just a promise of future jizz. | ||
| So that's 97 blanks? | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| It says that this person came out as transgender and suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome. | ||
| Is that the thing? | ||
| Is there a cure? | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, prove it, bitch. | ||
| You got your pants on. | ||
| That's an HR nightmare, if I'm being honest. | ||
| That's an HR nightmare. | ||
| I want you to really show us, we're just going to keep you in an aquarium, and really show us that you're always hard, and this isn't just an act for attention. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might be kooky. | ||
| You always gotta throw that in, but anytime you add some gender thing into, like, any kind of possibility of someone being kooky, everybody, oh, I can't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Gender's involved. | ||
| It usurps it, yeah. | ||
| Gender just, like, whoo, wipes the suede clean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What a time! | ||
| What a time, Salvatore! | ||
| What a time! | ||
| I can't imagine that. | ||
| So let's say he does have it. | ||
| What is his life for real? | ||
| It's just nothing. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Constant nothing. | ||
| But he's had enough time to call the news. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you functioning? | |
| Come watch me come. | ||
| He's a freak. | ||
| You guys are a freak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is my 34th time of the day. | |
| You have to document these things if you're a journalist. | ||
| Otherwise, what are you doing? | ||
| Why are you there? | ||
| Can he not work? | ||
| Can he not be in a relationship? | ||
| I can't work. | ||
| I need money. | ||
| I just need money from the government. | ||
| I can't stop coming. | ||
| I'm coming now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm coming now. | |
| Does he go to Easter with the family? | ||
| Like, what is he? | ||
| Oh my god, he's really sitting there just orgasming. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| When was the last time you bent over like that when you came for the 80th time of the day? | ||
| There's no dehydrated. | ||
| That's all I can do. | ||
| Yeah, the kid's fine. | ||
| Meanwhile, he's losing weight like a pro wrestler. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His face was purple. | |
| That's got to be... | ||
| The whole thing's nonsense. | ||
| The blood pressure. | ||
| You think it is? | ||
| We're spending too much time on this. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think he's full of shit. | ||
| I'm just guessing. | ||
| Look, if he really does suffer from that, you gotta imagine. | ||
| Imagine suffering from that no one believes you? | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I have to take it back, and I apologize. | ||
| Because you gotta imagine, some people are definitely hornier than other people. | ||
| Some people are actually asexual. | ||
| They're like, you can keep it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I don't want it. | ||
| Keep it. | ||
| Back to our rabies case. | ||
| It says that this happened to someone up to 40 or 50 times a day by the fourth day in a 32-year-old man in China. | ||
| God! | ||
| 32-year-old Chinese man began to have frequent ejaculations. | ||
| How are they coming out, buddy? | ||
| They just shooting out? | ||
| Are you touching your dick? | ||
| Like, what does that mean? | ||
| Frequent ejaculations telling you like you're passing the buck. | ||
| Do you ever help one along, or is it all solo? | ||
| Is it all hands-free? | ||
| What are you watching? | ||
| Fucking zoo monkey. | ||
| He's like, 45 were hands-free, 5 were him. | ||
| The wildest is the chimps at the zoo just jacking off in front of people. | ||
| It says triggered by any touch. | ||
| Any touch? | ||
| Any touch? | ||
| When frequent ejaculations increased to 40 to 50 times on the morning of day four, the patient went to a local clinic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, something's up! | |
| 50 times a day this dude was nutting. | ||
| He's like, maybe I need to get this looked at. | ||
| Traditional Chinese medicine for the treatment of imbalance of yin and yang. | ||
| You're telling me! | ||
| I mean, are we right? | ||
| However, symptomatic treatment to rebalance the yin and yang had no effect. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| In the same afternoon, he was sent to the community hospital in Beijing with the following symptoms. | ||
| Headache, dizziness, nausea, malaise, fever of 39 degrees Celsius, irritability, tachyphrasia, speech difficulty, hypersalvation. | ||
| He was subsequently transferred to a territory... | ||
| Territory? | ||
| What's that word? | ||
| Tertiary? | ||
| Tertiary Hospital. | ||
| Third Hospital, sorry. | ||
| In Beijing for further diagnosis and treatment, but the etiology remained unidentified. | ||
| At around 10 p.m. | ||
| of day four, a patient was sent to Infectious Disease Department of Peking University Third Hospital and was transferred to emergency department due to tachycardia and dysphemia. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Dysphenia. | ||
| His complaints included high penis sensitivity, painful erections, and ejaculations 40 times a day, triggered by any touch, or ejaculations without erection and release of the semen, as well as headaches, nausea, chest congestion, and fever. | ||
| There was no significant improvement after fluid infusion, symptomatic treatment, other supportive therapies. | ||
| This is how we're all going to die, Sal. | ||
| This is what's going to happen. | ||
| Someone's going to hear about this and go, okay. | ||
| So what you're saying is a little rabies is really good. | ||
| What we need is an inert form of raisins. | ||
| What we need is a rabies vaccine that gives you just constant rock-hard boners. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For guys who like to party, you know? | ||
| When blue chews not enough. | ||
| Yeah, when you just want to be a different thing than a person. | ||
| And you also don't want rabies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, we've got, imagine if like every guy starts doing it. | ||
| Just like, how many women have fake boobs now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quite a few. | |
| Like most guys. | ||
| It'll be like baseball. | ||
| Everyone's got to do it if you want to compete. | ||
| You gotta get the rabies shot. | ||
| Did you get your rabies shot? | ||
| You're 16. You can get a rabies shot at 16. Don't listen to those Robert Kennedy Jr. Pussies. | ||
| There's no fucking side effects. | ||
| Just get your rabies shot and get your fucking dick on. | ||
| Can you imagine if, like, something switched? | ||
| Well, if you think of animals, so, like, tigers. | ||
| Tigers can breed 50 times a day. | ||
| When a female tiger's in heat, the tiger just keeps fucking. | ||
| They fuck to the... | ||
| Literally, is that where easy tiger comes from? | ||
| I don't know what that term is. | ||
| Easy tiger. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| We just found out that the hair of the dog... | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But that's for a short period of time when the females... | ||
| If she's not in estrus, he won't do that. | ||
| But if a person has sex for fun, like if a person could be as horny as a tiger all the time, what a terrifying world we would live in. | ||
| Someone's working on that. | ||
| That's what I'm worried about. | ||
| There's certain medications that get created that are essentially performance-enhancing medications that you can prescribe to people for stuff. | ||
| I think this is true. | ||
| Pro-vigil. | ||
| I think the initial idea behind, check to see if this is true, I think the initial idea behind it was using it as a performance-enhancing substance. | ||
| But then they couldn't do that because you can't just prescribe something to help people's performance. | ||
| You have to have a sickness. | ||
| And so they went with, I think it was insomnia. | ||
| No, not insomnia. | ||
| What's the other one when you just pass out? | ||
| When you faint? | ||
| What's that one, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Narcolepsy. | |
| Narcolepsy, yeah. | ||
| So I think they used it for narcolepsy. | ||
| Have you ever taken ProVigil or NuVigil? | ||
| It's a weird chemical. | ||
| I think Tim Ferriss, when he wrote one of his books, he decided to not put it in there because he was worried that people would just eat it like candy if they knew how effective it was. | ||
| But he and a lot of people were of the opinion that there's no such thing as a biological free lunch. | ||
| There's no such thing as one thing that turns on that much of your brain. | ||
| That's probably not doing something that we don't know about yet. | ||
| It could be fucking something up long term. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Let's get some studies done. | ||
| But I've taken it before on trips. | ||
| If I had to go somewhere, say if I did a gig in San Diego and I had to drive back home to LA, The gig's done at midnight. | ||
| We grab our shit, we throw it in the car, and it's two hours of driving. | ||
| And if you're fucking tired at one in the morning, if your head starts nodding out, if I take one of those, no worries. | ||
| No sleep. | ||
| Not happening. | ||
| For how long? | ||
| But not speedy. | ||
| That's what's weird. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| It doesn't increase your heart rate. | ||
| It doesn't make you a blabbermouth. | ||
| You can't shut the fuck up. | ||
| It's not like that. | ||
| It's like a weird sort of like the idea of being sleepy just gets erased. | ||
| Is it crash? | ||
| Is there a crash? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| That's why I think Tim Ferriss was worried about putting in the book. | ||
| It doesn't seem to have much of a crash. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I didn't feel it. | ||
| I mean, everybody's different, right? | ||
| Did you sleep when you got home? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I slept. | ||
| You also slept? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went to bed when I got home, which is like 2-ish, 2.30-ish, whatever it took us to drive back, drop everybody off. | ||
| I think I was like... | ||
| Maybe a half an hour later I was asleep. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't stop me from sleeping, but it stopped me from falling asleep at the wheel or being drowsy at the wheel. | ||
| You know those moments where the fucking road just starts hypnotizing you, the white lines, and you're just like, oh no. | ||
| And you're literally like, what am I gonna do? | ||
| Am I ever gonna pull over or am I gonna push through this? | ||
| It happens a lot for us. | ||
| I'm driving a lot on the road all the time. | ||
| My manager, Jeff, he gave me the best advice. | ||
| It's the best advice. | ||
| I do it every time I know I have to drive and I'm tired. | ||
| You get ice-cold water and a rag, like a washcloth. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| If you have ice in the washcloth, that's the best, and a little bit of water. | ||
| And just get a little Tupperware thing of ice and water in a washcloth, and when you feel tired, you just take that washcloth, you rub your face real quick, it goes away. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It goes away. | ||
| And then five minutes later, you might need it again. | ||
| But you got it right there, you rub it in your face, it goes away. | ||
| What happens if you don't... | ||
| The ice is the factor, not the water. | ||
| Yeah, you need cold water. | ||
| The cold water wakes your face right up. | ||
| And it works. | ||
| It just stimulates. | ||
| It does whatever it has to do to snap you out of this cycle of droning. | ||
| A kid I went to high school with fell asleep behind the wheel and died. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Me too, actually. | ||
| My friend Tommy had an accident where he blacked out behind the wheel and crashed his car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think about this often now, because my parents, they live in a different state, and it's only like 75 minutes away, but they come to visit me, and then we both visit each other, and then they go home, and I'm like, I'm just getting there. | ||
| Recently, my mom told me, she was like, I had to go get a Coca-Cola or something, because sometimes I start to fall asleep, and I'm like, what? | ||
| I'm like, then don't make the drive. | ||
| She's like, no, I'll be all right. | ||
| I'm like, but you don't know that you will. | ||
| I couldn't believe she told me that. | ||
| Sometimes I doze a little. | ||
| I was like, Mom! | ||
| Jesus you know so she's like alright, so now it's like I don't know if we get to that point where it's like limited that she can't come to me anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Just gotta get her a Tesla. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put that bitch on autopilot. | ||
| She's like 74. She asked me for a mountain bike for Christmas. | ||
| So here it does. | ||
| It enhances cognition too. | ||
| The drug modafinil was developed to treat narcolepsy, kind of, excessive sleeping, but it's widely used off-license as a smart drug to promote cognitive enhancement where qualities such as alertness and concentration are desired to assist someone with, for example, exam preparation. | ||
| I bet they give that shit to fighter pilots, too. | ||
| Don't you imagine? | ||
| You need a laser. | ||
| I mean, the focus that's required is like unhumanly. | ||
| I don't think they think about laws. | ||
| Like, whatever the fuck is the best thing for them. | ||
| Give them that. | ||
| What are we, stupid? | ||
| Something's written down on paper, you can't give them that? | ||
| Give him whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
| He's flying a goddamn fighter jet. | ||
| You want those dudes, tune the fuck in. | ||
| You don't want them sober. | ||
| You want them on whatever. | ||
| Adderall, whatever the fucking mixture is. | ||
| That stuff and Adderall together, just like... | ||
| Yeah, disciplined fighter jet pilot with a little bit of Adderall, a little bit of that stuff, just locked and fucking loaded. | ||
| Just in there. | ||
| You don't want any distractions. | ||
| You want hyper focus. | ||
| It's your ass. | ||
| What do you think a fighter pilot's like regimen? | ||
| Do you think they keep a certain regimen or something? | ||
| They're very fit. | ||
| At least the Blue Angels are. | ||
| I flew with the Blue Angels once, and the dude that flew with me was jacked. | ||
| He was fucking... | ||
| And he was telling me that... | ||
| You really need to be physically strong to overcome. | ||
| They don't wear a G-suit. | ||
| They just use this method called hooking. | ||
| You go like this. | ||
| Hook! | ||
| So as the Gs are hitting you, you're forcing blood into your brain to stay conscious. | ||
| Yeah, and you have to be strong to do it. | ||
| So you go where the Blue Angels are. | ||
| They have weights all over the fucking place. | ||
| These guys are always working out. | ||
| But I'm thinking cognitively. | ||
| What about cognitively? | ||
| Oh, you have to be a fucking genius. | ||
| But they have to have a routine, though, where they keep themselves sharp, right? | ||
| I mean, like, that's part of probably their daily lifestyle. | ||
| I'm sure there's constant assessments, too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure there's probably, like, a lot of drug testing. | ||
| There's probably making sure you're getting sleep. | ||
| I mean, they're putting you at the helm of something. | ||
| What do those things cost? | ||
| Like, what does an FA-18 cost? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| Is it $100 million? | ||
| What did one of those things cost? | ||
| $300 million? | ||
| But that's if it's fully loaded. | ||
| What's our top of the food chain jet right now? | ||
| Like, what's the best jet the Americans have? | ||
| Because the one I flew in, I believe, was an F-A-18 with the Blue Angels. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's insane. | |
| They wanted to put us in one of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shh, shh, shh. | |
| I didn't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's going through the fucking canyon sideways. | |
| You're like, yo! | ||
| We're like a couple hundred feet off the ground. | ||
| Did you throw up? | ||
| Yeah, I did throw up. | ||
| We put the guy in the show on one and he went up and he did all the stuff and they said, this is what's going to happen. | ||
| You're probably going to get nauseous and throw up and black out. | ||
| And you know and and that's exactly what happened and we had all the cameras in it and when he got back We couldn't see it like we couldn't see him So he just took off of the thing and there was cameras in there and then when he came back We were gonna just be like how'd it go because we and he came back he got a thing open he looked like I Absolutely horrified, ill, sick, traumatic. | ||
| He threw up, he passed out, he woke up, he threw up, he passed out, he came out, he was crying, and he goes, that wasn't, because the guy was just like, merciful with him. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Yeah, and he was like, it's not funny, we're not even gonna put it on air. | ||
| Did they teach him how to, like, keep his consciousness? | ||
| Did they teach him how to do the hooking thing? | ||
| Yeah, he got the briefing, you know? | ||
| I got it through the harder part, and then I got cocky in another part, and I didn't do it quick enough, and I blacked out. | ||
| The part that I blacked out in was way less Gs. | ||
| The part that I didn't black out was like seven Gs, which was crazy. | ||
| And then I think the one I blacked out was like four or four and a half I blacked out. | ||
| I just didn't hook in time. | ||
| I just wasn't sure if I should be doing it now, like when to do it. | ||
| And the pilot, when you hear the pilot hooking, that's what's really scary. | ||
| I hear him going, hoots, hoots! | ||
| I'm like, oh shit, he's blacking out too. | ||
| Like he's experiencing what I'm experiencing. | ||
| Yeah, what happens if he doesn't, the hoots don't work? | ||
| He's gonna work. | ||
| It'll work. | ||
| Those fucking dudes. | ||
| Those dudes are American. | ||
| Like if you want the rest of the world to be worried about America, you want to be worried about fighter pilot guys. | ||
| Real Americans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Men. | |
| What did you see? | ||
| They know how to fucking pilot that goddamn jet. | ||
| What did you see in there, though? | ||
| Nothing, right? | ||
| What did I see? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like, you're sitting in a jet, right? | ||
| I mean, I'm behind him, so I'm seated right behind him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you see? | |
| Oh, yeah, I can see everything. | ||
| Oh, you could. | ||
| Oh, yeah, there's fucking glass around you, man. | ||
| No, no, seeing up, right? | ||
| Do you have any sense of... | ||
| Are you looking... | ||
| You don't see anything? | ||
| You're just seeing blue sky? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| You do that, too. | ||
| We did a flip where you do the thing all the way around. | ||
| We did that. | ||
| But momentarily. | ||
| But he's also going through the canyons at low altitude. | ||
| Oh, like in Top Gun 2? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| No way. | ||
| You did that? | ||
| Oh, we did that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was that just, let's do it? | ||
| Or did you have to get yourself there to get in that? | ||
| I mean, I said, whatever he wants to do, I'm going to do. | ||
| That's the thing they do. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They take you on this run. | ||
| They have a route. | ||
| They take you. | ||
| I don't trust it, dude. | ||
| Well, these are the crazy ones when they fly next to each other. | ||
| Like, fuck all that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck all that. | ||
| But you're flying in the canyon. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| My friend Mark Smith does that. | ||
| He did that with the Thunderbirds. | ||
| He's a referee for the UFC. You have to be an exceptional human being to be able to pilot one of those things. | ||
| I mean, you have to be on your fucking P's and Q's. | ||
| Yeah, like superhuman basically. | ||
| What was that jet you were showing us that just lifts up off the ground? | ||
| 35. That's our top of the food chain? | ||
| At least that we know about. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Within 10% of the right guess. | ||
| 109 million per aircraft. | ||
| Show a video of that thing. | ||
| That thing is nuts, man. | ||
| This thing is nuts. | ||
| Watch how this motherfucker takes off. | ||
| First of all, look at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks badass. | |
| You see that thing coming at you like, oh, we should have signed a treaty. | ||
| Look how it takes off. | ||
| Look how it points down at the ground. | ||
| Look at its asshole. | ||
| It's going to take a shit on you right now. | ||
| It asshole tucks down on the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's sick. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That's insane, dude. | ||
| That is literally insane. | ||
| The asshole tucks at the ground, and it just lifts up into the sky. | ||
| This looks fake. | ||
| Surreal. | ||
| That looks like the lunar orbiter getting pulled from the surface of the moon by special effects. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Oh, and that's how it lands as well? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| This was 10 years ago, so this is not... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Now it goes like the speed of light. | ||
| And it's invisible. | ||
| The old model. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's bullshit. | |
| That's like an iPhone 10. That's so fucking funny. | ||
| If someone pulled out an iPhone 1 today, like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like 10 years ago in jets with all the money- That thing has a cigarette lighter in it, are you kidding me? | |
| With all the money that these dudes have to make these fucking things? | ||
| I mean, I guess they're just limited by physics, right? | ||
| They're just limited by propulsion systems and the metal and the g-force and the pilot being able to stay conscious. | ||
| Get the pilot out so we can do better shit. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| They're addicted, right? | ||
| They're gonna do that. | ||
| They're addicted to this, right? | ||
| I would imagine you would be... | ||
| You have to be addicted to it. | ||
| I mean, what kind of car do you drive? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A BMW SUV. They're nice. | |
| That's a nice car. | ||
| Like, don't you enjoy driving it? | ||
| Yeah, I do, actually. | ||
| It's enjoyable, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you're listening to BMW. I like to get in a car and I like to go, ooh, it feels good to drive. | |
| It's enjoyable. | ||
| Imagine flying. | ||
| That fucking thing. | ||
| You ever been to a racetrack? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I went to the Indy 500. Look at this fucking turn. | ||
| That is so insane. | ||
| It's just so insane that these things can do this. | ||
| Look at how it just hovers. | ||
| Like, that's a nutty craft. | ||
| That thing's nuts. | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
| It's so agile. | ||
| It looks like a bird. | ||
| I wonder how long it stays in the sky, though. | ||
| I bet it ain't long. | ||
| I mean, where's all the gas? | ||
| That must be eating gas, you know? | ||
| Like, I have a Ram truck. | ||
| TRX gets like nine miles to the gallon. | ||
| No fun. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Imagine what that gets. | ||
| I mean, how... | ||
| You just fill in that thing? | ||
| It's probably got a 25-gallon? | ||
| Yeah, giant gas tank. | ||
| How much of a fill-up? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You don't get to E on that thing, right? | ||
| You get to E, yeah. | ||
| You have a reserve tank, right, probably? | ||
| No, I don't have a reserve tank. | ||
| Oh, my dad had a reserve tank in his pickup. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| A whole second tank. | ||
| Oh, that's a dude who's worried about the future. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he a prepper? | ||
| That was a dude that got a lease at the right day. | ||
| Oh, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, well, they do that with a lot of cars because a lot of those pickup trucks, people have to transport things over long distances. | ||
| No, this was like a Ford F-150 or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, Ford F-150 is probably the most popular pickup truck in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it is, probably next to the Toyotas. | ||
| Toyota Tacoma might be number one. | ||
| Like, what's the most popular pickup truck in the world? | ||
| It's either an F-150 or it's a Tacoma. | ||
| In my head, it's like F-150 is a name I always, always, always have heard. | ||
| You can't go wrong with an F-150. | ||
| They've been making those things just like Porsche 911s. | ||
| They've been making that same truck since the beginning of time, just making it better every year. | ||
| Ford F-150s are the shit. | ||
| They're so durable. | ||
| My dad had them even growing up. | ||
| They're fucking great. | ||
| Is that the number one? | ||
| 48 years in a row. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Ford F-Series, most popular truck, best-selling truck in the U.S. It's been that way for nearly half a century, and they fucking deserve it. | ||
| They're amazing trucks. | ||
| Now that you say it, I think they say that in the commercial all the time. | ||
| I used to have one. | ||
| I used to have a Raptor. | ||
| The most recent version, the six-cylinder one, it was fucking great. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Great truck, man. | ||
| 30-inch television in there? | ||
| No, no flat screen. | ||
| That's the only thing that sucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I feel like if you're in that plane, you need a 60-inch flat screen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, we need to reorganize my room. | ||
| I want to be in a theater. | ||
| I'm in the sky on a spaceship. | ||
| I don't want this bullshit ass. | ||
| 32 inches is like that big. | ||
| It should look like cribs. | ||
| That's not that big. | ||
| 32 inches is not big. | ||
| That's like the first flat screen. | ||
| Do you think I don't know how to count numbers? | ||
| 32 is not big. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| 20,000 pounds of fuel. | ||
| 20,000 pounds of internal fuel has a range of greater than 1,200 Newton meters? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was about 1,000 miles, it says. | ||
| It can fly for like two hours without needing refueling. | ||
| Two hours? | ||
| But they can refuel it in the air, so they can stay up forever, essentially. | ||
| The point is, like, when they're on the gas, though, I bet it really fucking... | ||
| It burns fuel. | ||
| My point is my truck. | ||
| My truck, when I'm on the gas, it burns fuel. | ||
| It's a little gauge on the TRX that shows you if you're running out of gas. | ||
| It shows you what your gas mileage is. | ||
| You can leave it on and just cry. | ||
| 12 gallons an hour when using the afterburner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| I want to see a mid-flight refueling. | ||
| I remember on the original Nintendo. | ||
| Do you play original Nintendo? | ||
| No. | ||
| Top Gun on original Nintendo? | ||
| It was one of the things you had to do in between. | ||
| They had to refuel in the air. | ||
| They really do do that. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I mean, again, those level of human beings that can pilot those things and keep their shit together like this, flying two jets right over each other like that, and trusting the guy on the bottom to stay still, like, shut the fuck up, man! | ||
| This is nuts! | ||
| And you've got gasoline?! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're pumping gasoline with your robot dick?! | |
| Into the vagina of this thing. | ||
| Look how it clamps up. | ||
| That's nuts, dude. | ||
| See how it like clamped in place? | ||
| Because if it doesn't clamp, then you got gas spraying all over your fucking jet engines that are hot as shit. | ||
| Dude, I'm more impressed with the thing that has the gas in it, actually. | ||
| Yeah, the dick. | ||
| That was made second, you know? | ||
| Like, that's newer technology than the jet itself. | ||
| It's all nuts, dude. | ||
| I mean, just the fact that they have this thing is nuts. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| And it's really kind of weird that it takes war for us to make something that's that cool. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, that amazing to look... | ||
| Like, if you're a guy... | ||
| Like, what do guys... | ||
| Guys love fast cars. | ||
| We love spaceships, rocket ships. | ||
| Like, I know a lot of girls do, too. | ||
| Don't get me wrong, but... | ||
| Men generally design these things. | ||
| The ultimate is that! | ||
| You only get that if you go to war. | ||
| You gotta kill people to get that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The best of the best of the best minds and the best of the best of the best people that can pilot that thing, all driven by war. | ||
| Like if Bezos goes out... | ||
| I mean, Bezos has like $200 billion. | ||
| He goes, I want a fucking fighter jet, man. | ||
| If he's sitting around with a super hot girlfriend with a shirt on, button to the navel. | ||
| You know what I want? | ||
| I want a fucking fighter jet. | ||
| He can't even have a fighter jet. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| You could have the biggest yacht in the world. | ||
| You could have the most beautiful wife. | ||
| You could have a fleet of Rolls Royces. | ||
| No fighter jet. | ||
| Fighter jet is only for people who get to kill people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| You can have a gun. | ||
| We can let you have a gun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You can have a rifle. | ||
| You can have a shotgun. | ||
| If you want a short-barreled shotgun, you got to get a tax stamp and you got to go through the government. | ||
| But if you want a pistol, you know, you can get a pistol, but no fighter jets. | ||
| Not a fighter jet. | ||
| No, you can't have a tank either. | ||
| You can buy one. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Oh, that's the whole bullshit one. | ||
| That's only 79 grand. | ||
| You know why it's only 79 grand? | ||
| Because it's only going to last for one flight. | ||
| That's not a real plane. | ||
| I'm not getting in that thing. | ||
| You can buy them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's a jet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now... | |
| Million dollars? | ||
| But you're not allowed to buy that new one. | ||
| Well, if you talk to Lockheed and you have enough money. | ||
| Do you think they would sell you one of those jets? | ||
| Do you think I'm putting this in Jeff Bezos' ear right now? | ||
| They probably have a contract with the government to not sell them the same stuff that they're selling the government, but they might be able to make you a slightly different one. | ||
| So these are like 1990 ones. | ||
| Scroll up a little bit. | ||
| That one was like a little above that. | ||
| 1992. Oh, but that's a propeller plane. | ||
| Think of the market that you're selling to. | ||
| Ooh, look at that one. | ||
| That looks like a jet. | ||
| It's in Illinois. | ||
| But no one's buying that unless they're a pilot, right? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Or a fucking psycho. | ||
| How small is a demographic that could possibly buy it? | ||
| I can't believe you could buy these. | ||
| Now, they have to be unarmed, right? | ||
| They have to have taken... | ||
| Well, helicopters are different. | ||
| Oh my God, you could buy a Blackhawk. | ||
| How much is that? | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's a premium listing. | ||
| Call for price. | ||
| They don't list it. | ||
| Translate this into rubles. | ||
| They don't list it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, listing the price there is going to shock me. | |
| Hello, I am calling from Illinois. | ||
| I seek to buy... | ||
| On the up and up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to know for sure how much for just my children love Black Hawk Down. | |
| I thought the fun thing. | ||
| Buy a Black Hawk. | ||
| Okay, you can buy a 92 jet for $3 million. | ||
| $3,200,000 in Redondo Beach, California. | ||
| And look, it's got dope camo on it, too. | ||
| Like, if you're going to fight Smurfs, you can blend in with them. | ||
| How inferior do you think that model is to a current model? | ||
| Oh, it has to be crazy inferior, but still insanely cool. | ||
| But do you think you actually get those missiles? | ||
| No. | ||
| I want a missile. | ||
| I doubt it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was that Project Odessa? | |
| Did you ever see that Netflix thing? | ||
| It was Project Odessa, right? | ||
| Where this fucking dude was a drug runner, and he bought a sub from the Russians, and they asked him if he wanted to buy nuclear missiles, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is like at the fall of the Soviet Union. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I don't think he did. | ||
| No. | ||
| It just was on Netflix? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I watch a lot of stuff high and it rings a bell. | ||
| It rings a bell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Operation Odessa. | ||
| Operation Odessa. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| That's the sub. | ||
| They sold him a sub. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Bro, the documentary's amazing, because it's all real, but it seems like a plot of a Guy Ritchie movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's so nuts. | ||
| It's so nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A sub. | |
| That's even... | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I wonder if a sub... | ||
| What level of pilot do you have to be to drive a sub, you think? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| It's probably really hard because you have to do all by instrumentation, right? | ||
| Can you imagine how terrifying it must be if you're in a place that you know there's rocks under the water, and you're driving around with this tube compressed by a thousand feet of water, just hoping you don't bang into something, hoping all your fucking sensors work correctly. | ||
| Down there. | ||
| I wouldn't get in one. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| But I mean actually piloting it. | ||
| I know they have to read the instrumentation, so that's a lot of stuff. | ||
| But I wonder what it's actually like. | ||
| Is he just like, let me just back it up. | ||
| I would imagine now they must have so many super sophisticated sensors. | ||
| You know the big theory about all this stuff is that Oh, wow. | ||
| So then they released the fact that they had recorded this explosion that happened in the same area. | ||
| Oh, this footage of it? | ||
| But the real conspiracy is they don't think that they have those things under the water to detect submarines. | ||
| That they have those things under the water for UFOs. | ||
| And that a lot of the activity that we're seeing with all this UFO, UAP stuff is things that are coming in and out of the water. | ||
| That's why they're always near the water. | ||
| I have not heard that. | ||
| Yeah, that's the wildest one. | ||
| You know, like, what? | ||
| The government's underwater searching. | ||
| Imagine, there's a top-secret program that's setting up these underwater detection systems and listening systems and videotaping things because things are going in and out of the ocean. | ||
| So you have to figure out like where's their insertion point? | ||
| Where can we set up? | ||
| And they're just like setting up these monitoring stations to try to figure out what the fuck is going on down there. | ||
| There's a place we can't even go. | ||
| And there's a whole little village of these motherfuckers. | ||
| Spaceships shooting out of the bottom of the ocean and off into the sky. | ||
| I have enough problems on my mind already. | ||
| I don't need this one. | ||
| I mean, if they wanted to hide in plain sight, that's the place to do it. | ||
| Hide right in the ocean. | ||
| Have you watched Sugar? | ||
| Which Sugar? | ||
| It's a new show with Colin Farrell on Apple TV. Oh, I saw the preview of that the other day. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| Yeah, I've been watching it, and I didn't know where it was going. | ||
| And then it takes a real sharp turn. | ||
| And what you kind of thought you were watching, you realize that maybe you weren't. | ||
| I can give it away. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say, I'd say watch it. | ||
| You already fucked it up. | ||
| Now I'm going to be looking for that sharp turn. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| You'll never see it, though. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| Also, my memory is shit. | ||
| So I'll probably forget about it. | ||
| What were we talking about? | ||
| What were we talking about? | ||
| Dogs or rabies? | ||
| You think that alien matter they copped to like a few months back is real? | ||
| Because back then I thought it was, now people are saying it's bullshit. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Remember when they found that alien, like they showed the alien that they found? | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| Did I miss this one? | ||
| The government came out and said that they literally made a statement saying we have alien matter. | ||
| I didn't... | ||
| What Grush said about biologics, I think is what he was getting at. | ||
| Oh, you're talking about the whistleblower who got in front of... | ||
| Was it Congress? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That he got in front of? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See... | ||
| Those things are interesting because it's all just talk until they could show you something. | ||
| But they showed something. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| Didn't they? | ||
| No, there's no bodies. | ||
| They didn't show any bodies. | ||
| I thought they showed something. | ||
| I mean, maybe they have something. | ||
| Around the same time than that story hit of the, excuse me, not only the Vegas story, but like the Mexican mummy that they had that was like that little tiny thing. | ||
| Yeah, but that was bullshit. | ||
| I know, but I'm just saying they all hit the news at the same time. | ||
| Is the Vegas story the backyard where the kid calls and he's staring at something and he gets frozen in his place? | ||
| Yeah, and there's like some image in the backyard that you can see on film that they've run through like CGI to try to figure out whether or not it's fake, run through AI rather. | ||
| And they don't think it's fake, but it doesn't mean that it's not like a dude in a costume or something. | ||
| It's like you're just fucking, you're just hanging out in your backyard and the aliens just happen to land there real quick and take off. | ||
| That one hit me. | ||
| I was following up for days, and they didn't follow up with them. | ||
| Well, the family's probably undocumented, because it seems like some of them at least are probably not documented. | ||
| They weren't speaking English, right? | ||
| Wasn't that the case? | ||
| No, I mean, the kid was, because he called 911, they play the call. | ||
| Am I thinking of the same one? | ||
| Was there a bunch of people that were speaking Spanish? | ||
| Or was it a different one? | ||
| Cops go with body cams. | ||
| Maybe they don't want the attention because then people were showing up at their house. | ||
| Maybe they really legitimately did see it and they got freaked out. | ||
| Who fucking knows, man? | ||
| But individual things that happen like that, if it did happen, nobody would fucking believe you. | ||
| Just like a ghost story. | ||
| If you went out to let your dog out, you're like, come on, buddy. | ||
| Gotta take a leak. | ||
| You take him outside. | ||
| And you're staring eye to eye with this four foot tall creature with giant black eyes. | ||
| And it's standing in front of this transparent glowing orb that it just stepped out of. | ||
| And you're sitting there going, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, and you're now crazy. | ||
| And then it gets back into that thing and... | ||
| And disappears into the cosmos, and you're like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| And who do you even tell? | ||
| If you tell me, I'll go, okay, what is that stuff you said you were taking? | ||
| How much do you take on a normal day? | ||
| What was yesterday like? | ||
| That person would be deemed crazy. | ||
| Are you stressed out? | ||
| Problem with your lady? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| You're seeing things. | ||
| But if it is a thing that's just uncommon, but happens, That would be the wildest one. | ||
| Of all the possibilities, of all the things that it could be, the wildest one, it would be, this is an actual life form that occasionally visits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I saw something I didn't know what it was once. | ||
| I was driving at night on the highway. | ||
| Was it a vagina? | ||
| You got me. | ||
| Where were you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I Where were you? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I was like driving home from a show, but I wasn't far from home Maybe like less than two hours away I know that. | ||
| And I saw the light... | ||
| The sky didn't light up, like a flash of light that lit up the sky. | ||
| But it came from as far as my eyes could believe that the distance of my eyes could see. | ||
| It was really far away. | ||
| I was like, oh, what was that? | ||
| And then in like... | ||
| A fraction of a second later, it flashed again, and it was half the distance. | ||
| And then one more time, like, I mean, like, one second later, it flashed, and it was like, the flash was where I was, and then there was no more flashes after that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, and my girlfriend was in the passenger seat, but she was sleeping, and I woke her right up after that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I actually was looking around at other cars this evening. | ||
| I was going to pull over and say, like, did you just see what I just saw? | ||
| But nobody, like, really stopped. | ||
| I didn't stop either, but I can't explain it. | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Um, I would say maybe a little less than ten years. | ||
| Seven, eight years ago, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, I can't explain it. | ||
| I really can't. | ||
| I know what it's not. | ||
| I know I wasn't seeing things, you know? | ||
| It wasn't like, oh, there was a building or this light flashing. | ||
| It was distinct. | ||
| It was something I hadn't seen before, like the way that the light came. | ||
| I think it's probably some kid on some planet somewhere with a drone who's having a good old time. | ||
| Like a laser pen? | ||
| Yeah, he's probably doing a reality TV show for TruTV and Alpha Centauri. | ||
| I mean, imagine if what we're seeing is just kids' toys. | ||
| Enough people say, yeah, right. | ||
| Kids' toys. | ||
| No one even cares about what the humans are doing, but kids do. | ||
| Sometimes kids will send a drone down here, check it out. | ||
| That's so possible. | ||
| It's so possible. | ||
| It's also possible, the more time goes on, the more I look at those little greys, I'm like, why are we even assuming those things are alive? | ||
| The what? | ||
| The grey aliens? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Why are we even assuming those things aren't some robot? | ||
| Like, we're real close to making robots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, super-duper close. | ||
| And why would you risk sending a person or a living thing across the galaxy at a fucking billion miles an hour when you can just... | ||
| Just use a little robot people. | ||
| They're really good now. | ||
| Like giant heads. | ||
| They don't talk. | ||
| They can't fuck. | ||
| And you get these little robot guys to go and collect sperm samples from people and fucking take them up into the spaceship and run experiments on them and then drop them back off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe they're all robots. | ||
| That could be true, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that could be the future of intelligent species. | ||
| They all become some sort of electronic thing. | ||
| Yeah, that sounds terrible for us, but if you were being objective, you'd go, I could see how that could be possible. | ||
| If I start thinking about this stuff, like, you know, if I can't sleep or something, I start thinking about this stuff. | ||
| I'm in the age right now where I'm having, like, that full-on existential thing happening. | ||
| Like, never happened before, but it's all the time now where I'm just like, what is going on here? | ||
| Yeah, that's most people's lives, man. | ||
| That's how most people think. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Just wondering what the future will be. | ||
| Someone will be around to see it. | ||
| Someone in our lineage will be around to see it. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Eventually it's going to be not. | ||
| Everyone wants to look at big picture, but really look at big picture. | ||
| This sun is going to wipe us out. | ||
| We're not going to make it. | ||
| We're going to get to a certain point, whether it's a billion years from now or whatever they think it's going to be, where the earth is no longer habitable. | ||
| That's just going to happen. | ||
| So when we're like, oh god, that's so far away. | ||
| Well, so is 100 years, because you're not going to make it to that either. | ||
| So let's fucking, we got now. | ||
| We're in a good spot. | ||
| We got now. | ||
| We're in a good spot right now. | ||
| I think, because I don't know if this is like just historically this happens when everyone feels this, but like, I'm actually like, I'm really nervous about the AI. I really am. | ||
| I just feel like this could be the precipice of the next, like just the next, you know, what life becomes. | ||
| Not just the next thing, but who takes advantage of it and how. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like this newfound power. | ||
| It's going to be so different than anything else you've ever experienced before and who's in control of it. | ||
| And it's the second most feeling of unsafeness besides war. | ||
| It's up there with war. | ||
| You feel unsafe right now. | ||
| I feel unsafe in my lifetime unsafe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, it's very different than anything that's ever happened before. | ||
| Because within a short amount of time, it's going to be a real problem. | ||
| It's going to be a real thing that's smarter than us. | ||
| We're not going to be the smartest thing. | ||
| Now, if we just stopped right now and pulled the plug, who knows? | ||
| Maybe we'll be okay. | ||
| We might not be okay if this thing keeps going. | ||
| Or we might be. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| It's like everyone says that. | ||
| Everyone says that. | ||
| They'll never stop. | ||
| Well, I think the problem is the Chinese government and the Russian government are not going to stop. | ||
| And for us to stop right now would be very dangerous. | ||
| If China becomes the first to be able to utilize this incredible power Just do whatever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want and then it gets better and better and better under the power of this thing, right? | ||
| That's that's not acceptable either, but then the problem is It's attached to weapon systems and if it's attached to weapon systems and all it has is like it has a Desired outcome that it's trying to achieve And this desired outcome. | ||
| It's not thinking about morals or ethics or how many people are going to die and how many innocent people are going to die. | ||
| What's the most effective way to ensure victory? | ||
| And it's going to just do that. | ||
| And that's going to be horrendous. | ||
| And if someone from another country decides to do that first, that could be a giant problem real quick because all it would take is dismantling our grid. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| All it would take with that and we're fucked. | ||
| It's funny that there's no... | ||
| Everyone knows the theory of how it turns on us, even the people in positions that are racing to get this technology. | ||
| Yeah, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, man. | ||
| But it's like, yeah, that's it. | ||
| I mean, it's either, I guess, don't be the one to get it, or just, you know... | ||
| In a way, this thing that could destroy everything, I mean, it's for protection. | ||
| If we don't keep doing it, we're unprotected. | ||
| It's basically the same argument that we have when we created the nuclear bomb. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Same argument, right? | ||
| We have to do it for the Nazis, too. | ||
| The Nazis get this first, we're all fucked. | ||
| Yeah, this is what I'm saying. | ||
| War, it's like a nuclear bomb. | ||
| It feels like a ticking time bomb, it really does. | ||
| I know. | ||
| With everything you read, and it's like, oh, Congress is not ahead of it. | ||
| That's what I'm worried about. | ||
| Any type of regulations and stuff. | ||
| Well, I did a podcast the other day about it, and I think part of the problem is they can't really be. | ||
| There's no way they can know everything about everything. | ||
| There's too many things going on in the world. | ||
| You know, if you want to ask them about cobalt mining in the Congo, and also ask them about overfishing in the ocean, and also ask them about the negative side effects of oil spills, and also ask them what's going on with pharmaceutical drugs, and there's no way any congressperson... | ||
| Yeah, gun control. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| There's no fucking way they're going to be in charge of oil. | ||
| And what are your thoughts on the border? | ||
| And also, what are your thoughts on, you know, what about seed oils? | ||
| It's just plugging holes. | ||
| Yeah, there's no fucking way you can be really well read on all those subjects and be objective. | ||
| Yeah, so they can't keep up. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck is going on and it's happening and all these super nerds are out there coding and banging away at it. | ||
| And they're about to release ChatGPT 5.0, which is going to be the craziest of all crazy ones. | ||
| Of all the ones that have happened before, each one of them is more insane than one before. | ||
| And ChatGPT4 is pretty fucking insane. | ||
| And then 4.0 is pretty fucking insane. | ||
| And when 5.0 comes out, 4.0 talks to you like a girl. | ||
| I have not interacted with it at all, not one time. | ||
| So I don't really know. | ||
| I see people making images and stuff. | ||
| I'll write a joke and write me an email. | ||
| I've seen that weird shit where it's like, no, but I love you. | ||
| So those stories that came out, it was like, It felt ominous, you know, like the exchanges, like the emails or whatever. | ||
| But I haven't really gone past that. | ||
| But it feels like you actually have to. | ||
| You're worse off if you don't kind of get acclimated with it. | ||
| I kind of get forced to pay attention to it because of this show and because of my friends like Duncan, who's really, really into it. | ||
| Duncan uses AI all the time. | ||
| If he was hanging out with you, he would take your voice, Record you while you're sitting there talking. | ||
| They would run it through AI, and then he would type up a bunch of stuff for AI to say, like really embarrassing things, and then he would say, Sal, why'd you send me this? | ||
| And then we'll just start playing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He did it to Tony the other day. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| But that's ridiculous. | ||
| I saw on a forum or something, someone sent me, someone took my voice And made it the Michael Jackson Bad album. | ||
| And they sent it out. | ||
| It's my voice singing bad by Michael Jackson. | ||
| Good, but it's my voice. | ||
| And it sounds like me to me. | ||
| And I was like, this is such a... | ||
| I remember I was playing, I was doing laundry, I hit play and I was like, this is fucking nuts! | ||
| And that is going to be a living thing soon. | ||
| That's going to be another Sal. | ||
| That's going to be another Bobby Lee. | ||
| That's going to be whoever the fuck they want to make it. | ||
| You're going to be able to make people that sound and look and behave exactly like that. | ||
| But we're going to be able to bring Rodney Dangerfield back from the dead and he's going to go on tour as a robot. | ||
| I'd see it. | ||
| I'd see it for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would. | ||
| I just want to see what it's like. | ||
| That'd be weird. | ||
| Imagine you brought Lenny Bruce back from the dead, but you didn't let him write new material, and he just bombed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha! | |
| Ha ha ha ha! | ||
| Like, this is the guy we'd all go to see him. | ||
| And, you know, he's, like, stuck in 1965. He still thinks he's, hey, dig. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And he just gets on stage. | ||
| He's getting arrested for those jokes that people, like, nowadays, they're just like... | ||
| Now it's nonsense. | ||
| It's my grandfather out there. | ||
| Yeah, it's so easy. | ||
| That's funny, man. | ||
| Yeah, because in the context of his time, what he was saying was revolutionary. | ||
| Like, what is this guy saying? | ||
| But it's hard for us to recognize that wasn't that long ago, man. | ||
| Not even at all, right? | ||
| Wasn't that like 60, 70 years ago? | ||
| That guy was getting arrested? | ||
| For telling jokes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then talking about certain things on stage? | ||
| It's hard to imagine that society's changed that much in such a short amount of time. | ||
| Is it the 50s? | ||
| Well, he was around in the 60s, too. | ||
| Like, when did he start getting arrested is the good question. | ||
| I feel like it was... | ||
| 60s, I don't think so. | ||
| He couldn't be still getting arrested then. | ||
| I think he died in the 60s. | ||
| I think he died of a heroin overdose. | ||
| Who's arrested the Jazz Workshop in San Francisco in 1961 for using sexually explicit language. | ||
| Although he was acquitted, law enforcement agencies put him under greater scrutiny, resulting in drug arrests in Philadelphia and Los Angeles. | ||
| So they just started going after him. | ||
| And he did do a lot of heroin, apparently. | ||
| I think that's also how he died. | ||
| I think he died from heroin. | ||
| And I think he died in the middle of the trials. | ||
| They were just constantly going after him. | ||
| In the end, it was really sad because there's some recordings of him on stage where he's not even doing comedy. | ||
| He's just reading from his legal papers and talking about his case. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So people come to see him and he would just rant about his case. | ||
| It was sad. | ||
| I have a bunch of them. | ||
| You always see his albums in the thrift stores and stuff. | ||
| When you go to the record store, the used ones, they're always just a few bucks. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always swipe everywhere on the road, if there's a record store, I'll swipe any comedy albums I can get. | ||
| Whoever. | ||
| Old, not this, that. | ||
| And they're always just like... | ||
| There's the same ones you see that are readily available all the time. | ||
| No matter where you are, there's always like 10 rapping Rodneys. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or that Eddie album that you see everywhere. | ||
| You see Sunset Strip. | ||
| You see that everywhere. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I got, I mean, I got Pat Cooper, Alan King, every, you know. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| You know, what's his name? | ||
| Dick Gregory. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Red Fox. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Come on, put him on. | ||
| It's like, you don't think to listen to these people, and it's like, it's out there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's also like a time machine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get to peer into a time in, like, the 1960s where someone's on stage in some comedy club in a different universe. | ||
| Like, the world's different. | ||
| Everything's different then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Like, the reality's different. | ||
| It's the middle of the Vietnam War. | ||
| Everything's different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're on stage. | ||
| You kind of hear it in the recording. | ||
| It's like baked into it, it feels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, whether it's just what you know you're listening to or just the way they recorded it. | ||
| Like, I actually really like listening to the crowds on the records as well. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| It sounds and feels different. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, how they react and stuff. | ||
| They're different people, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, their context, the civilization they lived in was just so different. | ||
| It's so little access to information. | ||
| The difference between people then and now is so vast in terms of how much we know about stuff, how much information we have about stuff. | ||
| And back then it was wild. | ||
| That kind of comedy was only a few decades old. | ||
| It was wild, man. | ||
| There's a great series of recordings from Richard Pryor at Red Fox's Comedy Club in L.A. And I bought them once at a gas station. | ||
| They just had them in like the cassette things where you could buy them. | ||
| And they're fucking great, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're just these recordings of like Richard Pryor fucking around, making up material, working the crowd. | ||
| You hear like ice and glasses and everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| That's exactly what I was talking about. | ||
| That's the kind of thing I love. | ||
| I love hearing that. | ||
| Oh, it's so cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's so cool. | ||
| Clinking and the clanking and the shaking and stuff. | ||
| It's its own thing. | ||
| You've seen the Pryor's Tonight Show, right? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| It's just like totally clean cut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It was like, wow. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| It's kind of weird seeing that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was also George Carlin. | ||
| George Carlin's early days, he was real clean cut and clean jokes. | ||
| Oh, I haven't seen early, early. | ||
| Yeah, he wore a suit and a tie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See if you can find early George Carlin. | ||
| Yeah, you'd look at me like, no way. | ||
| That's the hippie guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, no way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got to, I don't know his material, though. | ||
| I don't know what it was like, the early material. | ||
| Very clean, very, like, regular comedy. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit! | |
| That same eyebrow thing. | ||
| Sister 5. That's the big scene, when they finally get to him, and you always see exactly how the cowboys prepare for this attack. | ||
| Now pull them wagons around the circle. | ||
| Get them old ladies up there loading up their weapons. | ||
| Come on, now tear up their petticoats. | ||
| Use them for bandages. | ||
| Get that water up there. | ||
| It's sand, sand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Big hassle. | |
| We never see how the Indians prepare. | ||
| That's their attack, right? | ||
| Now, the Indians were good fighters. | ||
| Just because they started in Massachusetts and wound up defending Malibu doesn't mean they're... | ||
| We really didn't play the game with them. | ||
| As I say, the Indians were good fighters, and if this is so, they must have been well organized. | ||
| There must have been a way to divide their manpower. | ||
| It wasn't just one old chief, many moon come chucked on, a lot of guys running. | ||
| Get it. | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that premise was, you know... | ||
| Yeah, interesting. | ||
| Interesting premise. | ||
| Did you ever see him, meet him, know him? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I met him at the comedy store, and I saw him perform a bunch of times live. | ||
| Yeah, I saw him twice. | ||
| I saw him live when I was a kid, when I was 21, when I first started doing stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I saw him live in New Hampshire, and he bawled. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Six, seven years later. | ||
| Seven years later, look at him. | ||
| Dirty hippie. | ||
| Found out about hippie pussy. | ||
| Revolution. | ||
| He's like, hey, I'm playing the game wrong. | ||
| Probably did a little acid. | ||
| Like, what am I doing with this fucking stupid tie on? | ||
| I mean, that is a coast-to-coast transformation right there. | ||
| Real quick, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just a couple years. | ||
| A few years, yeah. | ||
| What did you look like five years ago? | ||
| Pretty similar. | ||
| So that was 65 to what? | ||
| I think it was August 31st, 65 to March of 72. That's crazy. | ||
| I mean, he's nearly unrecognizable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He also looks way older. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That doesn't look like a seven-year... | ||
| Acid. | ||
| That's all that acid eating you out from the inside. | ||
| Yeah, he aged hard, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, that's pretty nuts. | ||
| One of the greats. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, without all those guys, I mean, that's what's really interesting about the art form. | ||
| Without guys like Lenny Bruce and George Carlin, just a few people, it's just a handful of people. | ||
| Richard Pryor, handful of people. | ||
| Red Fox, what would this be now? | ||
| What would it be? | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| Rickles, I would put in that. | ||
| Yeah, Rickles, sure, definitely Rickles, right? | ||
| Rickles is like the original roaster. | ||
| What an animal that guy was. | ||
| I have a photograph in my living room that he autographed to me right now. | ||
| It's like a prize. | ||
| If there's a flyer, it's the first name of Grant. | ||
| Got to meet him. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| He was awesome. | ||
| Yeah, he was so nice. | ||
| He was so kind to us. | ||
| Animal on stage. | ||
| The tacks with jokes. | ||
| Attacking people. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And for the time, man, that guy was awesome. | ||
| Murderer. | ||
| Nobody was like him back then. | ||
| I saw him live within the last five, six, seven years of his life. | ||
| I saw him in Atlantic City, which was great. | ||
| He came in from the back with the horns and everything. | ||
| Before he even got to the stage, it was 20 minutes of insulting people before he got to the stage. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Didn't hold back. | ||
| And then I saw him again later. | ||
| I saw him like two years before he died up at Westbury in Long Island. | ||
| And he sat in a chair for this one, but he still did two hours. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And then I got to go backstage, and it was like frickin' midnight. | ||
| And he was with his wife and one other couple. | ||
| And he let me come in and spent like... | ||
| You know when the people come in, like, you gotta leave, like, helping him out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He kept waving him off, and he, like, talked to me for, like, a good ten minutes. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish I saw him live. | ||
| There's a few guys that are like, damn it. | ||
| You know, I'm missing him live. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Saw Kinnison live quite a few times. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I saw Kinnison live at least three. | ||
| At least three times. | ||
| I saw him once live at Great Woods, which is like this outside concert area. | ||
| And then I saw him live at this... | ||
| I saw his career start to slump. | ||
| I saw it in real time. | ||
| Even though I was still a huge Kinnison fan... | ||
| The second time I saw him, I was at this like shitty kind of casino-y place. | ||
| It wasn't that good. | ||
| It wasn't packed. | ||
| And then the third time was kind of the same thing. | ||
| You were a comic, though. | ||
| Yeah, I was just starting out. | ||
| But you went to a show. | ||
| Maybe I wasn't a comic yet. | ||
| Like maybe I was thinking about doing comedy. | ||
| It was pretty close. | ||
| It was like maybe right before I did comedy. | ||
| But he went from 86, where he was on top of the fucking world, to like 88, it had already started to kind of fall apart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was wild how quick it happened. | ||
| Yeah, wow. | ||
| Like he had this one amazing album and one amazing HBO special. | ||
| And those two were like his best things ever. | ||
| And then everything after that is just too much partying and blowing. | ||
| Just got caught up in the life and the material wasn't that well thought out anymore. | ||
| His brother wrote about it in his book. | ||
| If you read Brother Sam, it's a fucking great book. | ||
| Bill Kennison wrote it. | ||
| Really, if you're a fan of comedy, it's a really good book. | ||
| It just tells you how this fucking wild man, like how different he was. | ||
| Just plummeted. | ||
| How long was he at that height? | ||
| I think it was a few years. | ||
| I think before he got discovered, like before Rodney, I bet from everything that I've heard from people that were around back then, he became a monster. | ||
| He was already a monster from the beginning because he had been a tent revival preacher. | ||
| So he was a tent revival preacher who knew how to do stand-up. | ||
| I mean, what an advantage. | ||
| What an advantage. | ||
| It's like teaching a gymnast jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They're so strong already. | ||
| They're so flexible. | ||
| They have a giant advantage. | ||
| I wonder how long it took him to get to that voice of screaming and stuff. | ||
| I think he had it from the tent revival days, because there's recordings of him doing sermons, and he would do it like that! | ||
| It's like really powerful stuff, and that's a form of show business, clearly. | ||
| And he was really good at it, and so he was the first guy. | ||
| I've never seen an old set from him or anything like that. | ||
| You've never seen an old set? | ||
| No, I've only seen him trench coat guy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But there's some that are online, you can find on YouTube, but him with like a leather jacket on and a comb-over, it looks like shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Before he started wearing the beret. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He used to have a comb-over, you know. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Wouldn't shave the head, couldn't give in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| When he gave in back then, he wanted to be a rock and roll guy too, so he had long ass hair and like a bandana. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| So that was him in the early days. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| His last sermon. | ||
| In 82. Something I was just reading said he was an adored guy at the Comedy Store starting in 1980. So he probably broke off to make a little money doing a sermon. | ||
| But this is like what it sounded like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get to the sermon part. | |
| I don't want to hear any songs. | ||
| There's got to be some screen. | ||
| Is it mostly songs? | ||
| Here goes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel like I have as much. | |
| I feel so grateful. | ||
| You can't believe how grateful I feel towards the Spirit of God for what he's allowed me to be part of. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I know I wouldn't have had it without this church. | ||
| church amen without these ministries that you see on this platform amen without yourselves amen we've all played a part in each other's lives we've given to each other amen so that was him just preaching. | ||
| It's so wild to hear that voice attached to that context. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| You hear him and to hear him say it's a mindfuck. | ||
| And by then he was already doing blow, going crazy. | ||
| Was he already? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| He was already kissing. | ||
| You know, Kinnison was a wild fucking dude, man. | ||
| He was a wild dude. | ||
| Just through and through? | ||
| Got hit by a car when he was five years old. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Four. | ||
| Four years old. | ||
| How bad? | ||
| Not too bad. | ||
| I was playing Frisbee with my dad, and I went to the hospital, but I didn't break anything or anything. | ||
| Did you get knocked out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We were in a parking lot, 100% empty parking lot, like a VW post, like a veteran's post near my house where we used to play. | ||
| And we were just playing Frisbee, fully gated, with the only two people in that thing, only two objects in the thing were throwing this Frisbee. | ||
| And my dad's friend was walking down the block, so we went to the gate to talk to him. | ||
| And I was little. | ||
| I was, like I said, four. | ||
| And he threw the Frisbee and it went over there and I went to go get it. | ||
| And as I'm going, I see a station wagon pull in. | ||
| It came around the back. | ||
| So it's not even from the street. | ||
| It came in the back and turned around. | ||
| And it started driving that way. | ||
| And I'm little. | ||
| And I'm going to get the thing. | ||
| And I remember thinking, oh, it's still coming at me. | ||
| And I get to the Frisbee and I pick it up. | ||
| I'll never forget this. | ||
| I picked it up and I fumbled it and it dropped again. | ||
| And I so vividly remember saying, do I try to pick this up again or do I get out of the way? | ||
| Because I just remember thinking like, this person has to see me. | ||
| I'm the only object in front of him. | ||
| And I went to pick it up again and I woke up and my dad was running and I was in his arms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| But it wasn't bad. | ||
| It wasn't bad. | ||
| I don't even know if I got concussed or anything like that. | ||
| You definitely got concussed if you're out cold. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I got to sue. | ||
| I got $5,000. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| To sue. | ||
| And I couldn't touch it until I was 18. Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was legal. | |
| What'd you buy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You don't remember? | ||
| It was like $12,500 when I got it. | ||
| That's what was left? | ||
| 12,500. | ||
| Oh, oh, because the five got down. | ||
| Oh, oh, oh, oh. | ||
| I thought you meant 1,200. | ||
| No, no, 14 years of, I guess, you know, Jesus, I'm smoking. | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| So all the interest. | ||
| Interest, there you go. | ||
| I have a bachelor's in finance. | ||
| I couldn't just think of that word just now. | ||
| And you didn't go and buy a nice car or something? | ||
| No, I didn't buy a nice car. | ||
| I don't know where it went. | ||
| It's free money. | ||
| You already took the hit. | ||
| I wish I knew where it went. | ||
| I wish I had a nice story to cap this fucking beautiful vodka. | ||
| I still have the book they gave me. | ||
| They would go, and you'd have to take it, and they'd put it under a stamp, and it would put the new price, the interest you made that month, the new price, and they would aggregate it. | ||
| It's a red Staten Island Savings Bank foldable thing. | ||
| So all through those years, it's like pages and pages and pages of the interest that they want. | ||
| I still have that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The old days, when you go to the bank... | ||
| Go to the bank. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mom picked us up from school. | ||
| And you get a check cashed? | ||
| The bank was a knife through my heart, dude, because our bank was so fucking slow. | ||
| Every time when she got home, it was 40 minutes. | ||
| They have no motivation to move quickly. | ||
| 40 minutes. | ||
| How's your day? | ||
| How's your day going? | ||
| Drive-thru. | ||
| We only need a drive-thru. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| That's even worse. | ||
| You see the line around. | ||
| Your car starts overheating. | ||
| You're like, no way. | ||
| It always did. | ||
| She had... | ||
| That car overheated. | ||
| It used to explode. | ||
| We used to drive down to the Jersey Shore in the summer. | ||
| We'd be in the backseat, bench seats, everything, right? | ||
| It's just my mom. | ||
| This thing's a fucking boat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bop, bop, bop! | |
| And you're looking back, and it's shooting black smoke, shooting out of the tailpipe. | ||
| And she used to pull over. | ||
| Pull over on the parkway, open the hood, white smoke pouring out of the hood, stunk. | ||
| She used to get the coolant from the trunk, just pour the coolant in there. | ||
| And you gotta be careful when you're opening up the radiator. | ||
| Be careful. | ||
| Yeah, it's spraying and shit. | ||
| And like literally just kind of alleviated the problem as we drove. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| But the worst part was like when she was like, pick us up and stuff, and it would like backfire, because it was like, it backfired. | ||
| Like if you drove it, it was going to backfire. | ||
| So, like, coming to school and stuff, my mom said, she didn't mean to embass me, but, like, coming to school and that thing backfiring, and then the smoke blowing out, and then, like, just having to get in the car after that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, everyone saw it, you know? | ||
| How many cars back then just fucking polluted everything they came in contact with? | ||
| Black smoke came out of every car. | ||
| Every car. | ||
| I think... | ||
| Before they came up with catalytic converters, it was a disaster. | ||
| I remember as a kid smelling the exhaust all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| It was a normal smell. | ||
| Which lowers your IQ. It was a normal smell to smell. | ||
| It was. | ||
| That's why we're so dumb. | ||
| It's part of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey, thanks for being here, man. | ||
| Appreciate it, brother. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
| Let's definitely do this again. | ||
| And tell everybody, you're special. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It's out right now. | ||
| It's out right now. | ||
| It's called Terrified. | ||
| Just search my name on YouTube. | ||
| And also today, my new tour went on sale, Everything's Fine Tour. | ||
| The first leg is 30 cities, so it's SavileCanoComedy.com. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Appreciate it. | |
| A lot of fun. |
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