March 29, 2024 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:59:00
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
This is a good way to open up the podcast. | |
| Jamie is an expert on all things black Twitter. | ||
| What's going on, Jamie? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| A lot of rumors are flying. | ||
| The rumors are that Diddy was running some kind of Epstein-type deal where he was filming everybody, right? | ||
| That's the rumors, yeah. | ||
| I don't know that there's any proof or anything other than that. | ||
| The thing is, like, we're getting the rumors from the internet, and the internet thinks that the Taliban took out that bridge in Baltimore. | ||
| So it's like, who fucking knows? | ||
| Who knows what's real? | ||
| That's what Diddy's lawyers, I think, said. | ||
| It was like, yeah, these are just trumped-up charges. | ||
| Not trumped-up, I don't think they said that, but, like, bullshit charges. | ||
| Dude, in Homeland Security... | ||
| Invade your house. | ||
| You got problems. | ||
| With dudes with fucking guns and body armor. | ||
| Someone said that they weren't there to take stuff. | ||
| They were there to delete everything. | ||
| Like the real people that were in there, you know? | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| There's layers upon layers. | ||
| When you get into these fucking conspiracy theories, man, they never end. | ||
| They never end. | ||
| There's just layers upon layers upon layers. | ||
| It's fun to talk about. | ||
| It is fun to talk about. | ||
| It's hard to know what's true. | ||
| People genuinely love it when someone like Diddy gets caught though. | ||
| The glee that people have is weird. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he's too successful. | ||
| Also, there was always so much East Coast, West Coast shit that's still in the zeitgeist, you know, like with Biggie and Tupac, and they were all hating on each other, and they both got killed, and there was a lot going on. | ||
| And then there's people that thought that Puffy was involved, and Suge Knight was involved. | ||
| Speaking of, I think Suge Knight's the one who said the thing I just thought of. | ||
| What thing? | ||
| About that they were there to delete stuff. | ||
| Well, if he really was filming everybody, I mean, he had a lot of people at those parties, right? | ||
| You know who's that? | ||
| Luke from 2 Live Crew? | ||
| Yeah, he said he was to leave early. | ||
| Yeah, when Luke from 2 Live Crew is leaving early, like, you got a wild party. | ||
| If what's happening is too fucked up for Luke from two live crew, check please. | ||
| There's so many different stories. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| I'm not doing nothing. | ||
| We're not involved in him. | ||
| I was never at Diddy's party. | ||
| I don't even know the motherfucker. | ||
| I don't want a nobody. | ||
| Telling jokes. | ||
| I don't know nobody. | ||
| Telling jokes. | ||
| Like I told you. | ||
| Having fun. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Smoking dope, cracking jokes, making people... | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Everything else is background music. | ||
| And living in L.A., you have all this shit that's going on around you. | ||
| You have your life, and then you have all this shit that goes in and out of your ears all fucking day, and you're like, I just want to do stand-up. | ||
| You also have those celebrity environments where celebrities all get together, and there's so many of them, and these wild parties. | ||
| And if you've got a wild party, and P. Diddy puts on that wild party, and he sets everybody up, Like, if you were an intelligence agent, you know, like a Jeffrey Epstein type deal, that'd be the way to do it. | ||
| Big ol' crazy party, get everybody loose, get them the yayo, get them the yayo, get them everything you need, get fired up, get those cameras rolling, and now you got everybody under wraps. | ||
| What a twisted web some folks weave. | ||
| You alright over there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta concentrate. | ||
| That is a skill that I never picked up. | ||
| The roll your own skill. | ||
| Never picked it up. | ||
| Sometimes you got no choice but to pick it up. | ||
| Yeah, no, I should have. | ||
| You're sitting there with reefer, a paper. | ||
| I admire people that do it. | ||
| When I see a person that can roll a solid joint, I'm like, that is a, that's an exceptional person. | ||
| It's like a person who can play guitar. | ||
| I'm like, oh, you took the time. | ||
| There's a level of skill with it, too. | ||
| Some people can roll some nice ones. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Like they're done by a machine. | ||
| I've seen dudes in Instagram driving their car rolling in one hand. | ||
| That's next level. | ||
| Yeah, that's next level. | ||
| That's next level. | ||
| Charlie Murphy could roll a hell of a blunt. | ||
| Charlie Murphy's one of those. | ||
| You know who else rolls a hell of a blunt? | ||
| Lewis. | ||
| Luis Gomez. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Gomez rolls a hell of a blunt. | ||
| And he does it the real way. | ||
| He doesn't just split the spliff and open it up and lick it, no, no, no. | ||
| He takes the paper out and he makes, you know, cuts it. | ||
| Like, he'll unravel a cigar and then take the tobacco paper and cut it and wet it and get it down. | ||
| I just don't want to get hot. | ||
| It's like Freebase and Coke. | ||
| I gotta run it and run it through a sock. | ||
| Then it's gotta dry. | ||
| No. | ||
| Just give me the fucking reefer. | ||
| I'd rather... | ||
| I like smoking blunts, but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer. | ||
| I started smoking blondes. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Sure enough. | ||
| It gave you pneumonia? | ||
| Pneumonia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I had pneumonia last summer. | ||
| Do you think it's definitely from that? | ||
| It was that and the sleep... | ||
| What was... | ||
| It was a bunch of shit. | ||
| What it really was was I had an abscess. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And the sleep mask. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I cleaned that motherfucker for 20 years. | ||
| Abscesses are dangerous. | ||
| Dog, this was... | ||
| I'm shooting a fucking movie with Kevin. | ||
| And it blew. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| In my mouth as I was shooting with Kevin. | ||
| Oh, you had no idea? | ||
| No, and I'm spitting blood and pus, and I'm like, oh, no. | ||
| And then I started feeling sick. | ||
| Oh, no, because it gets in your bloodstream. | ||
| Thank God we wrapped. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not going to make it home. | ||
| I couldn't even drive. | ||
| I got home, I went right to sleep. | ||
| The next day I got up and went right to the doctor. | ||
| And that started, you know, because doctors aren't... | ||
| Now they send you to 20 different places. | ||
| So by the time you get through... | ||
| You know what this started with the pneumonia? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They saw a fucking thing in my kidney. | ||
| What's that when you have a... | ||
| Kidney stones? | ||
| Kidney stones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They go, we got to start drinking whatever. | ||
| I'm like, kidney stones? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then I went to another doctor and he's like, you're not a kidney stone. | ||
| There's something wrong with the bottom of your lung. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And there's a cyst in your heart. | ||
| A cyst? | ||
| Something that kept growing over the years, like a little boil by one of the vows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| All right. | ||
| Then he sent me for another one. | ||
| Then finally, Eisenberg fucking sent me to the real deal. | ||
| And he goes, this eliminates everything. | ||
| When I left there, I thought he was going to say, we're going to put in a stent and all this shit. | ||
| He goes, no, just aspirin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aspirin? | |
| I just want you to go on a baby aspirin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| He goes, your heart's perfect. | ||
| You're good. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| My calcium score was good, which was very fucking surprising, you know. | ||
| I stopped eating bacon in the mornings. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| How come? | ||
| I do an avocado toast instead. | ||
| You know, I'd rather do avocado toast with an egg and a bowl of fruit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| Yeah, that's perfect. | ||
| You know, I used to eat a cheese omelet with french fries. | ||
| With 10 pieces of bread with butter on it. | ||
| So this works. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| This works. | ||
| That's definitely better. | ||
| Get them healthy fats. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How good is that sushi place you went to? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Shout out to Yuki Hand Roll. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| The fucking... | ||
| When you got up to go to the bathroom is when he dropped my rolls. | ||
| I'm like, whose is this? | ||
| It was just a fucking chunk. | ||
| And especially now with this new economics that sushi's getting smaller and smaller and smaller. | ||
| It is in a lot of places. | ||
| This fucking... | ||
| There was two hunks of fucking tuna there. | ||
| I'm full. | ||
| Big. | ||
| They give you big pieces at Yuki. | ||
| And the guy came from Nobu, super sweet guy, really nice to have. | ||
| You guys have put together a hell of a fucking time. | ||
| Remember, we've been coming here since 1998. And we used to come here, we used to just go to Papado's. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And there was another place we went to. | ||
| The Mexican joint, Papacitos, and that's it. | ||
| And that was where we went for three fucking days. | ||
| Now look what you got here. | ||
| It's like an empire of everything. | ||
| You guys were talking in the green room last night about all the different restaurants. | ||
| And you guys didn't stop. | ||
| So many people moved here. | ||
| Didn't stop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You guys did not. | |
| Everybody had a suggestion. | ||
| How about this place? | ||
| You asked for a steak here, eight people raised their hand. | ||
| Mexican food. | ||
| Go to that place that's fusion or whatever. | ||
| There's so many good steakhouses in town that people forget. | ||
| You know, you go, oh, you got Jay Carver's, right. | ||
| Perry's, Perry's, Bob's, Bob's! | ||
| There's excitement down there. | ||
| Three Forks, Three Forks? | ||
| It's very exciting. | ||
| You know, the last two nights, the store in its heyday, Like 2019, 2018, I gotta be honest with you. | ||
| I would do my spots and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit in the corner by myself. | ||
| And I would just watch to think that this was really happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it would assault all your... | ||
| Like, it was just so much. | ||
| It was celebrities. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember one night, half of UFC was there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like, you look around, there's fucking eight guys in the UFC right there, and you're like, what the fuck is happening up here? | ||
| What the fuck are all these people, you know? | ||
| The last two nights, I had to leave early. | ||
| And you go home and you can't sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last night when you text me, I was awake. | ||
| I got home at fucking 11. I couldn't sleep from everything. | ||
| I was writing and fucking thinking and coming on his head and fucking... | ||
| You know, it's what stand-up does to you at night. | ||
| You can't not be a fucking early riser with stand-up. | ||
| Because even if you do an 8 o'clock show, Unless you're a fucking mope. | ||
| You're thinking about that set. | ||
| Even when you're eating with your friends, you know where you went week tonight. | ||
| Even though you did great. | ||
| That one joke didn't work. | ||
| You're thinking about how you can make it better. | ||
| That's what I missed. | ||
| I didn't miss the planes. | ||
| I didn't miss the hotels. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage and trying to connect those four ideas together. | ||
| And when those four ideas get connected together, I'm just saying, four ideas, three different premises. | ||
| It's the best feeling. | ||
| It's better than sex. | ||
| It's an incredible feeling. | ||
| And that's what I missed. | ||
| Well, there's a relationship with the audience that's so pure. | ||
| Because, you know, they know you. | ||
| Like, they really know you. | ||
| They know you from podcasts. | ||
| They know you from your bits. | ||
| They fucking know you. | ||
| They know you from conversations. | ||
| They get it. | ||
| Then they're watching you put together this thing That's really for them. | ||
| It's for you because you create it and you know You get paid to say it and you get this great feeling that you did it But for a person like a fan like when I was watching you last night as a fan Like I had to see a bunch of new shit that you were doing that I was telling you was killing me but it's It's a beautiful feeling. | ||
| It's a great feeling. | ||
| When someone that you really love, who's really funny, who's got new stuff, and they're killing it. | ||
| And it's just like this atmosphere. | ||
| So there's 250 people, and we're all sharing this moment. | ||
| So it's super positive in like all ways. | ||
| It makes people feel better. | ||
| They leave that place, they feel better. | ||
| And so when you know that you can do that, then you get together in the green room afterwards, you're like, ah, this one bit is like something missing. | ||
| It's fucking, there's something clunky about it. | ||
| It just feels fake. | ||
| It feels like it's too perform- I gotta rework it. | ||
| I gotta rework it. | ||
| And then you start from scratch and you figure it out. | ||
| But it's just because you want to get to that place where the fan, the audience is like, Yes! | ||
| Ah! | ||
| You hit them with some shit they didn't see coming, or they get to see some shit that maybe you did six months ago, but now it's tight. | ||
| It's tighter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now it's got all these new punchlines and new avenues that you can take it to. | ||
| The worst is when you, three years later, and you get a bit and you're like, you know what? | ||
| I wish I could use that bit now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That bit I did three years ago fits right in here now. | ||
| But if I bring it up, people are going to know I'm doing old jokes. | ||
| Yeah, but sometimes just shove it in there anyway. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Just because it fits. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| The whole idea is just be as funny as possible. | ||
| Yeah, and that I got here. | ||
| You're always supposed to be coming up with new material for sure, but, you know, I don't mind when somebody busts out an old bit. | ||
| The other night when I got here, I got Atlanta at 1130. I got my luggage by a quarter to 12. I walked out. | ||
| When I got in that car, you should have seen that airport. | ||
| It was live at midnight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking tons of people coming into Austin. | ||
| I mean, I was like, this has changed a lot. | ||
| This airport used to be a sleepy fucking hollow. | ||
| Yeah, the whole town. | ||
| The pandemic changed the whole town. | ||
| You know, and then a lot of the tech companies moved here, too. | ||
| That was a big part of it. | ||
| A lot of these young people just didn't want any part of San Francisco anymore. | ||
| They're like, we gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Who would want to live there? | ||
| Who would want to live there? | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You know, Elon was saying five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed. | ||
| Five. | ||
| You can't lock your car? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta leave your car open. | ||
| Window open? | ||
| Because they're gonna smash you. | ||
| How do you live like that? | ||
| They basically empowered mental patients who are drug addicts to just live on the street and shit everywhere and harass people. | ||
| And there's no sign that they're turning it around. | ||
| They don't seem to be turning it around at all, except for when Xi Jinping came to town. | ||
| I told him, if I was the mayor, I'd buy Xi Jinping a condo. | ||
| Like, when he's in town, everything's clean. | ||
| When he came to San Francisco, they moved all the tents, they put up fences so people couldn't put tents back up, they cleaned the streets, and Gavin Newsom was like, well, when you have guests come over, you clean up your house. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What a crazy gaslighting spin on a fact that you could have fixed this the whole time and you chose not to until the dictator comes to town. | ||
| You know, in my criminal hate day, I used to move around a lot. | ||
| And I ended up in San Francisco. | ||
| August of 85. I was in Boulder. | ||
| The cops were looking for me. | ||
| And I said, fuck it. | ||
| Where do I go? | ||
| I went to the airport and I picked a spot. | ||
| And I go, what's the closest flight here leaving? | ||
| San Francisco. | ||
| All right, get me to San Francisco. | ||
| And I went up there. | ||
| And I went right to the Tenderloin, Joe. | ||
| And it was buck wild. | ||
| I mean, for a New York City kid to look at you and go, you got to be careful down there. | ||
| I still remember in 1985, they had a place called Coffee Runs that was a topless coffee place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With the ugliest titties you've ever seen in your fucking life. | ||
| I mean, they weren't award-winning titties. | ||
| Soggy, they looked like a puppy, was gonna milk on them, but they had that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were open 24 hours, right down the block from me. | ||
| It was a wild city. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| And up the corner were hookers for fucking miles. | ||
| It had a stand-up scene, but it never had a stand-up scene like Boston or New York or LA. No, but it was a good stand-up scene. | ||
| Solid scene. | ||
| Robin Williams came out of there. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Slayton. | ||
| We were just talking about him. | ||
| The Korean girl. | ||
| She's from San Francisco. | ||
| Margaret Kim? | ||
| Margaret Cho. | ||
| Margaret Cho. | ||
| Her mother had a bookstore downstairs or something. | ||
| A couple funny guys came out of Frisco. | ||
| Sorry, Margaret. | ||
| The comedy festival really was great. | ||
| It really did a lot for a lot of comedy. | ||
| I never went to that one. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| I quit. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Four nights. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| I'm sleeping on the beach. | ||
| I'm paying for my own hotel, and the judges are comedians from San Francisco. | ||
| And I'm coming in fucking 12th every night because they don't know me. | ||
| These guys are coming in first. | ||
| You know, the judges are hugging them, smoking dope with them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What year was this that you did it? | |
| 97-ish, 98. I drove home. | ||
| I went to the comedy store. | ||
| They let me go up, and I went to the House of Blues and saw Celia Cruz. | ||
| Instead of fucking... | ||
| I left Thursday night. | ||
| The House of Blues used to be the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The shit. | |
| We used to go across the street and watch killer bands. | ||
| Fucking unbelievable for free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was amazing. | |
| Just walk in. | ||
| Hey, guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on over. | |
| Yeah, they just let us in. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| I went to see one of my mother's friends there. | ||
| My mother's friend was this Cuban dude, Patato Totico. | ||
| They're huge in Cuba. | ||
| And he was playing that by himself. | ||
| He had to be like 70. Before I forget, what is your cousin's band in Cuba? | ||
| That band? | ||
| Emi Alfonso. | ||
| Emi. | ||
| Emi Alfonso. | ||
| She had some new shit. | ||
| She was just here! | ||
| I wanted to put him on the Spotify list. | ||
| The shit is banging, but I couldn't remember. | ||
| She came here for fucking South by Southwest. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, she was in South by Southwest. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| How do you spell it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
E-M-E. E-M-M-Y? E-M-E. E-M-E? A-L-F-Y. Alfonso. | |
| A-L-F-O-N-S-O. Got it. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Can you believe that's my family up there? | ||
| The Instagram shot at the top? | ||
| What's a good song that I should put on the Spotify playlist? | ||
| That's my family, bro. | ||
| That's my legitimate fucking family. | ||
| That guy on the far left is my mother's brother. | ||
| That's his son that owns La Factoria in Cuba, the big club where you go to. | ||
| That's his sister, and that's my aunt. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That dude is 80 years old, and he's still a musician, plays congas. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know, the whole fucking thing. | ||
| Emi lives in... | ||
| No, Eki, the guy with the dreads, my cousin. | ||
| He lives like in fucking Germany or some shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he don't even go to Cuba. | ||
| He goes to Cuba to pick up a check or something. | ||
| Is he allowed to go in and out? | ||
| He's a band member. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He just says he's playing a band and fucking... | ||
| Give me a... | ||
| What song should I pick for this playlist? | ||
| How's Keep Your Head Up? | ||
| No. | ||
| The one that you really liked that time was the one when She's Walking. | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| Alright, let's all screenshot this. | ||
| I'll come back to it later. | ||
| I'll put some of them on the Spotify. | ||
| And while I got you, can we look at the car? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Steven Segal in the movie with the Jamaicans. | ||
| Screwhead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jamie said he had a 69 Mach 1. I didn't say 69. I didn't know what. | |
| He said Mach 1. Mach 1. He said M-A-C, and I was like, that's probably a Mach 1. It's an old muscle car, right? | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| It's probably... | ||
| Okay, that's a 70. That's a 70. I like that, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, it's a nice car. | ||
| How fast is that? | ||
| Oh, it's fast as fuck. | ||
| They handle like shit. | ||
| But that's the 69. That's the one John Wick had. | ||
| The 70 is not quite as good looking. | ||
| But still, great fucking car. | ||
| I forgot about this scene. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, they crushed it with two trucks. | |
| Damn it. | ||
| I forgot the name of this movie, but it's god-awful. | ||
| Mark for death. | ||
| Screw face. | ||
| This movie's so bad. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| And then he kills him, then he comes back from life. | ||
| I'm like, alright, that's it. | ||
| He kills him and he comes back from the dead, right? | ||
| Screw head, screw face or something, yeah. | ||
| Oh, he lights him on fire and he has to escape. | ||
| This is so dumb. | ||
| This is skinny Steven Seagal. | ||
| These are at least more believable movies. | ||
| Until they went completely sideways. | ||
| Alright, he's gonna sneak out. | ||
| He's gonna get out. | ||
| The guy with the tractor never crushes him. | ||
| Goddamn, Tom Segura's gotta stop sending me videos. | ||
| Tom Segura sent me this video of this dude smushing somebody with a tractor, running the tractor right through him. | ||
| I don't wanna see that shit. | ||
| I don't wanna see it either, but Tom Segura thinks I do. | ||
| Every day we freak each other out. | ||
| I find the worst shit that I see on Instagram. | ||
| By the way, Instagram is wild right now. | ||
| I mean buck wild with murder and animal attacks and bombs exploding on people and terrorist attacks and riots and it's like you can find everything on Instagram now. | ||
| And these are accounts that I don't even follow. | ||
| So they know my brain is a mess. | ||
| So they're just sending me the most horrible shit. | ||
| And I just get it all day long. | ||
| I saved one just for you. | ||
| The only... | ||
| We could watch it. | ||
| The only fucking thing that amazes me about Instagram... | ||
| I don't know what's going on. | ||
| But if you go to, like, look... | ||
| This section here will break it down for me. | ||
| The explore section? | ||
| Like this one here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The search? | |
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Is that there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I still can't put together these women. | ||
| Are they hookers? | ||
| Are they just showing their bodies? | ||
| First of all, some of them might... | ||
| Look at this one. | ||
| Yeah, like that. | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| They got fake babies. | ||
| They got fake babies. | ||
| So they pull their tits out to breastfeed fake babies. | ||
| So it's like a hack. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Link in bio. | ||
| Yeah, you go in that bio, bam. | ||
| And then there's probably an OnlyFans. | ||
| And let's see, 18 plus, yes we are. | ||
| And then Love Me, it's a different one. | ||
| Oh, it's a dating. | ||
| Oh, you're done. | ||
| You have a virus on your computer right now. | ||
| We need to blow up that computer. | ||
| We'll take that computer to the range. | ||
| Fill it full of lead. | ||
| So they just rope you in. | ||
| They get lonely, lost guys, and they see this girl breastfeeding a rubber baby, and they dump... | ||
| I mean, that's how Andrew Tate made all his money. | ||
| Look how many there are on this page, though. | ||
| Coming in hot. | ||
| Bunch of titties. | ||
| Lots of titties. | ||
| Then they got the other girls that flip the camera around and show their monkey and then show their face, and I can't figure out what the fuck that's about either. | ||
| I'm like, why are they doing this? | ||
| They show their face, they flip it, they show their underwear monkey, and then they flip back and they start talking to you. | ||
| I'm like, why are they doing that? | ||
| OnlyFans. | ||
| Yeah, they're trying to get you to go to their website or OnlyFans or whatever that website was. | ||
| It's just a bunch of girls that get hired, I'm sure, I'm guessing, but this is what I imagine. | ||
| They get hired by an agency or some company and they put a fake name to them and they say LinkinBio. | ||
| You go to LinkinBio and you go to some porn site or you go to some dating site or you go to some OnlyFans type site. | ||
| And lost guys who don't have any money or they don't have anybody with them. | ||
| They're sad. | ||
| They give up all their cash. | ||
| They get hundreds of thousands of dollars off these dopes. | ||
| And the way Andrew Tate was doing it, he would have the girls sit in front of the keyboard typing with their tits out and then him and his friends would be over on the side and they would be typing all the shit because they knew what the guy wanted to hear. | ||
| So they would type all the things for the guy and the guys would just donate money. | ||
| And they were making millions. | ||
| Millions. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| But, you know, it's one of those things where there's certain kind of scams where I think they should be legal. | ||
| Like televangelists. | ||
| Like late night preachers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so obvious it should be legal. | ||
| Like if they're getting you with that, I don't have a problem. | ||
| I've never called for the banning of televangelists. | ||
| Like, you know, when they're like, God told me I need a private jet. | ||
| There's no way I can do the Lord's duty flying commercial. | ||
| And these guys, they'll fucking sell it. | ||
| They'll sell it. | ||
| This one guy was telling people that if they're broke, if they have no money, if they just send whatever they can, everything they have, God will bless them with 10 times more. | ||
| He just kept saying that. | ||
| So he was trying to get people that literally had nothing. | ||
| And if you send me, the guy in the $5,000 suit with the big pinky ring, if you send me your money, whatever you have left, God will bless you 10 times over. | ||
| I don't believe the banning of anybody who could take money out of your pocket. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Because if you're that fucking stupid, it's like, who raised you? | ||
| It gets to a certain level where I'm like, okay, wait a minute. | ||
| Like financial market stuff. | ||
| Like when people are pulling stock schemes and pumping dumps and things like that. | ||
| Yeah, that's different. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| Then you're actually getting intelligent people, like Bernie Madoff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're actually getting intelligent people that fucking rob you. | ||
| Yeah, they just trusted you. | ||
| I'm talking about like when an African sends you a text message and says, fucking come bail me out. | ||
| If you send me 500, you're going to inherit 80 million dollars. | ||
| You know how many people get, every year 60 Minutes has a fucking expose about some African that's taking money from fucking people and they keep doing it. | ||
| Speaking of which, I should probably bring this up. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are getting emails from a scammer saying that they're being invited onto this podcast. | ||
| Yes, they are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A dear friend of mine keeps asking me, what the fuck is this about? | ||
| Yeah, hundreds of people. | ||
| I don't know how many people have been contacted. | ||
| And it's more than one account that's doing it. | ||
| And I think it's some sort of a scam to get your Facebook information or some sort of information or credit card information or something. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| We will never ask you for anything like that. | ||
| And if we contact you, it'll be obvious. | ||
| It's obvious also that whoever the person is writing these things, at least in the ones that have been sent to me, it seems like English is their second language. | ||
| They don't seem to know exactly how to phrase things in a way that an American would phrase things. | ||
| So it seems a little obvious to me that it was shifty and obvious to a lot of other people, but a bunch of people sent them to me. | ||
| Okay, yeah, because I had one I was going to show you. | ||
| I think I erased it. | ||
| He sent it to me yesterday. | ||
| And he was like, yeah, ask him. | ||
| They keep sending me these fucking things from the Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| He doesn't know. | ||
| Yeah, it's just scammers. | ||
| You know, they reach out to you through Instagram or, you know, they find out you follow me or maybe I talked about you on the podcast or maybe something like that. | ||
| And the next thing you know, you get a letter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's scammers out there, man. | ||
| I mean, the Nigerians are the best at it. | ||
| That's where it was invented. | ||
| They're the best at it. | ||
| They are the best. | ||
| When did they first start email scamming people? | ||
| Probably right after email got invented. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| When was the first Nigerian Prince email scams? | ||
| Because it's always like, I have all this money, but I need $1,000 to get it out. | ||
| Yeah, $500 to get it out. | ||
| If you help me get it out, you get $10 million. | ||
| I can't get mad at you for something like that. | ||
| You look at that and you giggle. | ||
| You look at that and you giggle. | ||
| Any of that stuff online, you have to look up. | ||
| I don't press nothing online. | ||
| If you send me a Facebook message and I click on something, I don't click. | ||
| I don't touch it. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I don't open it. | ||
| When that shit starts happening, when things start popping up, that's when I turn off the computer. | ||
| I hit a button that I should not fucking hit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I don't go into any of those things. | ||
| Even friends of mine that send me shit, I'm busy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They used to do this by letter. | ||
| Really? | ||
| When did it start? | ||
| 1910? | ||
| Wow! | ||
| The Nigerian started in the 1900s? | ||
| 1910? | ||
| The origins of the Nigerian print scam date back to 1910 when it went by another name, the Spanish Prisoner Swindle. | ||
| Back then victims receive a message as a letter in the mail rather than on the internet but the same basic structure between the two scams remains between both scams remains scams remain the same the Spanish prisoner swindle centers around a wealthy foreign nobleman who's in prison for political reasons the nobleman claims no location of a lost treasure and that he's willing to share this treasure with the victim the problem is he's in prison and needs the victim to send him money so he can bribe his way out Wow Interesting. | ||
| There's always been people like that, but you know what the problem is? | ||
| The problem is, there are people in this country, what was the number that we Googled that have an IQ lower than 85? | ||
| It's pretty high. | ||
| 15%. | ||
| So imagine, 15% of people that you could basically trick with anything. | ||
| Get them to join a cult, get them to sign up for some fucking telemarketing swindle. | ||
| You think it's IQ, or do you think it's... | ||
| IQ is interesting, right? | ||
| Because IQ doesn't necessarily mean intelligence, because it depends upon your education. | ||
| Because some of the questions in IQ tests are predicated on a knowledge of math and understanding of how to do equations and certain things that you learn in school. | ||
| But there's intelligence that is social intelligence, intelligence in terms of being able to see what the problems are in a certain choice you make or what the up benefits are of a different choice. | ||
| There's people that are strategizers and they're really good at... | ||
| Business. | ||
| They're really good at figuring people out. | ||
| They're really good at figuring themselves out. | ||
| There's an intelligence to that. | ||
| So the problem with IQ, in my mind, is I know a lot of people with very high Q's, but their life is a clumsy mess. | ||
| So it's like it really is dependent upon what is the mental horsepower you have and how are you applying that mental horsepower? | ||
| Are you Gary Clark Jr. and applying that mental horsepower to music and you're a genius, but you're a genius in music? | ||
| Or are you Lex Friedman and you're making, you know, artificial intelligence and working coding robots? | ||
| Are you Elon Musk? | ||
| You're making spaceships. | ||
| Like what are you doing with this intelligence? | ||
| So IQ, there's limitations of it, but at least it's an indicator of how smart a person is. | ||
| It's an indicator. | ||
| It's not the only indicator. | ||
| There's other factors that I think are much more intangible. | ||
| They're much harder to measure and weigh. | ||
| That's my take on it. | ||
| I think it means something. | ||
| I think if your parents opened up your eyes... | ||
| Something. | ||
| You know, it's like I do that bit, and it's true. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I'm mad at my guidance counselor. | ||
| I really am, deep down inside, because, you know, he was telling you all about all these job possibilities and college possibilities, but you know what he forgot to tell us? | ||
| About New York being right across the river. | ||
| And all the possibilities you had over there. | ||
| I would've done this shit earlier. | ||
| You mean stand-up? | ||
| Everything! | ||
| I would've tried anything earlier. | ||
| The thing is, no one's ever gonna advise that you take the riskiest chance in show business. | ||
| No one's ever going to advise that you... | ||
| I didn't want to be a show business guy, but I wish you would have told me, you know, if you want to take acting lessons, you go to the city. | ||
| That's show business. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't know that fucking... | ||
| When I'd watch a movie, I thought you just walked on the fucking thing and they gave you a part. | ||
| That's how stupid I was when I was young. | ||
| It's not stupid. | ||
| It's uninformed. | ||
| I thought when the stand-up did a special... | ||
| I thought he just showed up. | ||
| And they had a camera and he goes, I'm ready. | ||
| And that's what I thought. | ||
| I didn't really know. | ||
| I'm mad that he didn't open up. | ||
| I see the kids I grew up with. | ||
| You've got to see the people around you. | ||
| And some of us saw some things and some of us didn't. | ||
| Some of us saw a path that was different than just getting a job and working 40 years and getting a watch. | ||
| I don't think they opened up our minds to that stuff. | ||
| There was a lot of stuff that we didn't... | ||
| In my house, she would fucking tell... | ||
| Like, my mother was crazy. | ||
| When I was six, she would put a fucking gold chain on me that belonged to a man. | ||
| And she'd make me put it out. | ||
| And she'd go, I want you to walk the streets like that. | ||
| So if somebody fucks you, you know, I mean, and now I think about these stories and I go, what was she doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Why was he getting you to go outside with a valuable piece of jewelry around your neck as a little kid? | ||
| I remember one night I was getting ice cream on 88th Street and the gold chain was hanging. | ||
| And when I went to get the comb from Mr. Softy, he goes, that's a nice chain. | ||
| And he looked at it. | ||
| My mother was watching from the window. | ||
| She was like, punch him in the fucking face. | ||
| I'm like, eight. | ||
| I'm like, eight, don't let nobody touch your face. | ||
| She just did things, you know? | ||
| Like, don't go in a car with people. | ||
| Just general shit that they banged into your fucking head. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| All that stuff's good. | ||
| I was out there. | ||
| Like, I was out there every fucking day, you know? | ||
| It's a different kind of intelligence, right? | ||
| Street smarts. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Abso-fucking-lutely. | ||
| And it's also informed. | ||
| You're informed. | ||
| You're informed about the dangers of your environment. | ||
| And some people, if they grow up in the suburbs and they go to really nice schools, they're lost in those environments. | ||
| They don't understand the rules. | ||
| Talk, I'm worried about kids today. | ||
| You should be. | ||
| I didn't know this. | ||
| I just spoke to somebody in my old neighborhood, and we were talking about something. | ||
| They go, you should see the neighborhood at 2.30. | ||
| Fucking, you can't drive. | ||
| And I go, why? | ||
| She goes, McKinley School, where I went. | ||
| She goes, the parents. | ||
| Pick them up with cars. | ||
| I go, what are you talking about? | ||
| We walked those streets home. | ||
| It's a block from the neighborhood. | ||
| She goes, not anymore. | ||
| Those kids don't walk those streets at all. | ||
| And they live right there. | ||
| I mean, it's not like across town. | ||
| You've got to get those kids out. | ||
| Yeah, they gotta get out of the house, for sure. | ||
| We gotta get them out. | ||
| How many kids are just at home playing video games all day, too? | ||
| Oh, it drives me fucking crazy when my daughter goes knocking on people's doors, and they're like, no, well, they're inside playing video games. | ||
| You know, it's 70 fucking degrees out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I just called Mr. Softee. | ||
| He's on his way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Yeah, I got Mr. Softee's number in my neighborhood. | ||
| First time I met him, I gave him an edible, and he's like, where you at? | ||
| And I told him. | ||
| Does it ring? | ||
| Does it ding-de-ding-de-ding-de-ding-de-ding? | ||
| But he comes too early. | ||
| He comes at four. | ||
| People still, you know, they're still at work. | ||
| But when that motherfucker comes, Mr. Softy, I would give him edibles, those ABX edibles, and tell him, put them in my milkshake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he'd blend it in the milkshake. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| So, you know... | ||
| Intelligence? | ||
| Yeah, like, I know a lot of people are fucking smart, but they make mistakes. | ||
| Yeah, they make big decisions. | ||
| You go, what the fuck? | ||
| In your life, you know, relationship decisions, business decisions, yeah, friendship decisions. | ||
| Intelligence is complicated. | ||
| It's very complicated. | ||
| But the point is, some people, their mental horsepower is very low. | ||
| It's not a matter of what they apply themselves to. | ||
| It's a matter of they don't have the resources. | ||
| Their brain doesn't work good. | ||
| And I've met a lot of people like that, and I know you have too. | ||
| Where you're like, this guy ain't never going to be a genius. | ||
| There's no inspiration in him. | ||
| He doesn't have a thing he's really into. | ||
| He doesn't have a thing he likes. | ||
| He's just dull. | ||
| Dull-minded. | ||
| For whatever reason. | ||
| I don't know if it's genetics. | ||
| I don't know if it's just a roll of the dice. | ||
| Or maybe the way he was raised. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But some people just, they don't have a good brain. | ||
| They just don't. | ||
| So those guys, when they get that fucking Nigerian Prince email, they're like, this is it. | ||
| This is my ticket out of here. | ||
| They start fucking scraping up coins, putting quarters in rolls, bringing them to the bank. | ||
| I believe in faith. | ||
| Like, if you're broke and you go put $2 on a picket ticket, because there's $175 billion, I believe in that. | ||
| I believe in all that type of stuff, Joe. | ||
| That's the biggest scam in the world. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| The lottery. | ||
| Well, I'm not talking, even when I was a kid, the numbers. | ||
| It's three numbers. | ||
| You put $5, you win $2,500, okay? | ||
| In those small, you know, in the 70s and 60s, in the black communities, the Spanish communities. | ||
| Italian communities. | ||
| Italian communities. | ||
| That's a way of hope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your Sicilian grandmother wakes up one morning and says, oh my God, I had a dream about peppers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Peppers. | ||
| And all of a sudden your grandma, her grandmother yells, Peppers, that's 68. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| And all of a sudden you're like, put a prefix on it. | ||
| 568. And, you know, this is your trip to Italy. | ||
| This is your trip to buy, this is your chance to buy your son a car. | ||
| It's like that little faith that you have. | ||
| But it's something that you have a chance at. | ||
| It's fun, too. | ||
| It's fun, you know? | ||
| The problem is the same thing as the problem with drinking, the same thing as the problem with everything else, is that people lose their fucking minds. | ||
| It's an excess. | ||
| And then it becomes everything. | ||
| I told you about my grandmother, right? | ||
| With the numbers? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Was she a loan shark to us? | ||
| She went to jail. | ||
| My grandmother went to jail for six months because she wouldn't rat out the people that were running the numbers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We'd go to visit Grandma. | ||
| Where's Grandma? | ||
| Grandma's visiting Aunt Josie. | ||
| She's with Aunt Josie for six months. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, she was knitting for the fucking guards in prison. | ||
| She wouldn't rat. | ||
| So they put her away for six months. | ||
| For bookmaking. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| So those immigrants, those people with dreams, I see that. | ||
| But somebody just fucking calling you and going, hey, if you lend me $5 or a tele-evangelist, whatever the fuck you're saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Talk, I'm even like, and I hate to say this in public, but I'm down on like fucking charities and shit. | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| Because they don't get the fucking money either unless you donate to St. Jude or something like that to You know, some guy's driving a BMW, and the people I sent the money to, you know, and it's happened to us. | ||
| We saw it, we gave money, and nothing happens. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck, guys? | ||
| So now you just give it direct. | ||
| Have you ever seen those charts that show, like, what the money you give to charity, how much actually goes to the cause? | ||
| How much of it is just overhead? | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's like 90%. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| So it's like 10% of the money goes to the charity. | ||
| It's a very inefficient thing. | ||
| And then you have things where the people that are running it are making enormous salaries. | ||
| And then they're like, look at the Black Lives Matter thing, where the girls are buying $6 million houses. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| The fuck are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| And like, oh, we use this for events. | ||
| It's just – that happens with so many charities and so many charitable organizations. | ||
| And then there's charitable organizations like – there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks. | ||
| So there's like tax breaks involved if you have a foundation. | ||
| It's a charitable foundation that works towards good causes like maybe climate change or maybe something along those lines, health. | ||
| You know, the global health, and then you get involved in that, and it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes, you move money around, you put money in the foundation, you kind of move it around. | ||
| You know, it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations. | ||
| The thought behind it is beautiful. | ||
| Like, wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things, but what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these charities. | ||
| And then they pump up their advertising revenue. | ||
| They pump up their social media profile, their campaigns, their this, their that. | ||
| And then they get co-opted. | ||
| They get co-opted by companies, corporations, pharmaceutical companies, different mandates and narratives that they'd like to promote. | ||
| And next thing you know, charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine. | ||
| And it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money. | ||
| And most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself. | ||
| Have you ever seen the charts? | ||
| Pull up a chart of where the money goes. | ||
| Try to find out where the money goes. | ||
| See if there's a good chart that shows various red cross, all these different ones. | ||
| I bumped into a nun once when I was going to Catholic school. | ||
| And she told me that when people are looking for you for help, like when they're on the side of the street and they're asking you for help, that that could be Jesus in disguise. | ||
| So I fucked my world up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| So I started donating as a kid. | ||
| The first person I donated to was the black kid with the flies on them that they sent you the picture. | ||
| Yeah, it's always Truthers. | ||
| He wrote a letter in... | ||
| Jennison had their bit about it. | ||
| And then I never got nothing after that. | ||
| I'm writing letters. | ||
| Nobody's writing me back. | ||
| I want to know if the kid made it to the sixth grade. | ||
| I was so fucking pissed as a kid. | ||
| And then I would do the Heart Association walks. | ||
| Like, that was my shit. | ||
| And trust me, I scammed off the top. | ||
| I'm not going to lie to you. | ||
| Because I would go to my mother's bar and I'd make them give me like 10 bucks a mile. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, I would show up with like $3,000 and think I was a good kid. | ||
| Finally, like after like 30, I'm like, they're going to get light this year. | ||
| I'm making $3,000 fucking dollars here. | ||
| So look at the Red Cross. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I had it on a better website. | ||
| That wasn't too bad. | ||
| It's pretty small, though. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Let's see what we got here. | ||
| What percentage... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, this shows you all the money that comes in and how much of it actually goes to programs and how much of it goes to administration and how much of it goes to fundraising. | ||
| So, Red Cross looks pretty fucking good. | ||
| Red Cross shows it's like 90% of the money goes to programs. | ||
| Only 3.5% goes to administrative and 6% goes to fundraising. | ||
| So this is what we donated to. | ||
| Remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire? | ||
| And I'm like, we can't take money from these people. | ||
| They just had this massive fire. | ||
| Let's just donate all the money. | ||
| So we donated the money to Red Cross because that seemed to be the best one. | ||
| St. Jude's, 72%. | ||
| And then when you start going down the line, it starts getting sketchy. | ||
| Most of these are... | ||
| They're pretty good. | ||
| Wounded Warrior is a little weird. | ||
| 34% back in the fundraising. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, they still at least 60% of it or close to 60% of it goes to the actual programs. | ||
| What's the worst ones though, Janet? | ||
| The worst ones was a different chart. | ||
| This is a different chart. | ||
| I want to see the worst ones. | ||
| Those are good ones. | ||
| Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones in terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause. | ||
| These are mostly UK charities though. | ||
| Do they have American ones? | ||
| Or worldwide ones? | ||
| Let's see that one. | ||
| That just shows what people are spending on. | ||
| Worst in terms of the amount of money that goes towards the cause. | ||
| The top ten worst charities, it says Kids Wish Network is number one. | ||
| Disabled police officers, 4.4% goes to program expenses and 94% goes to professional fundraising fees. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Disabled police officers counseling center, 94% of it goes to fundraising fees? | ||
| That's bonkers. | ||
| These are in New Jersey. | ||
| Right away, you're like, oh, okay. | ||
| I see what's going on. | ||
| Look at the Cancer Survivors Fund. | ||
| Hey, they survived. | ||
| That's their fucking... | ||
| That's what they get. | ||
| 9% goes to programs. | ||
| 87% goes to fundraising. | ||
| And they also... | ||
| I think a lot of times they make their name something close to, like, the good one. | ||
| Like, there's probably a really good Firefighters Foundation that's not... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they call themselves the Firefighters Charitable Foundation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Only 7% goes to the program. | ||
| 85% goes to professional fundraising fees. | ||
| What does that even mean? | ||
| Professional fundraising fees. | ||
| But a lot of them are like that. | ||
| But you've got to also think, if you're going to run a charity, you've got to pay people something. | ||
| Kids Wish Network, look at this. | ||
| They raised $127 million. | ||
| They paid to solicitors $109 million. | ||
| And they spent percentage on direct cash aid to the actual kids is 2.5%. | ||
| 2.5%. | ||
| Look at the Cancer Fund of America. | ||
| Less than 1% went to the actual thing. | ||
| Direct cash aid. | ||
| When this is direct cash aid and paid to solicitors, who's the solicitors? | ||
| Who counts as a solicitor there? | ||
| Does that mean paid to the organization? | ||
| And then they only pay out that much to the people? | ||
| Soliciting costs. | ||
| That'd be... | ||
| Probably trying to buy... | ||
| Overhead. | ||
| It's overhead. | ||
| It's everything, right? | ||
| Yeah, so it's mostly a scam. | ||
| Look at the fucking International Union of Police Associations. | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| That's the reason I quit. | ||
| 0.5%. | ||
| That's why I quit. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I worked for the cops. | ||
| That's when I found out. | ||
| Three years I worked for the cops. | ||
| Doing donations on the phone after I got arrested. | ||
| I saw it in Boulder. | ||
| And when I went to Seattle, I did it there. | ||
| And then up in Seattle, I found out what the cops were getting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm done. | |
| I'm done. | ||
| You give me 50 bucks, I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cars. | ||
| And when you get pulled over, they know that you donate. | ||
| And these guys were showing up in Maseratis every day. | ||
| They're two owners. | ||
| And I'm like, fuck you. | ||
| It's like the thing in LA with the homeless. | ||
| You know, Coleon Noir sent me head to that. | ||
| He told me they were getting, like, six-figure salaries. | ||
| I'm like, no way. | ||
| And some of them are making $240,000 a year. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, no. | ||
| Taking care of the homeless. | ||
| That is not being taken care of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're not doing anything about it. | |
| They have to keep the business rolling, too. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Once you have 20, 30, 50, whatever people making six figures, all that money keeps coming in. | ||
| You have all those mouths to feed, all those mortgages, all those people. | ||
| Now you have an industry. | ||
| Now you have bureaucracy, and you're never getting that back. | ||
| You'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in like, who's that guy from Argentina? | ||
| The guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair? | ||
| That guy's amazing. | ||
| He's like, everybody out! | ||
| Everybody out! | ||
| He kicked out everybody. | ||
| He cut that budget down to nothing. | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He got rid of all the bullshit. | ||
| All the bullshit. | ||
| It's really crazy when I work for the cops. | ||
| I would, you know, I loved it. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| I had a great time in that office. | ||
| I'd be up there smoking dope. | ||
| But... | ||
| With the cops? | ||
| Nah, there was like one cop there. | ||
| He didn't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm over here raising money for you. | ||
| But even he was on the scam, you know? | ||
| It's like, come on, man. | ||
| When you have money that's being donated, like cash that's being donated, it's just, it's gonna get moved around. | ||
| It's like, you gotta help these fucking people out, you know? | ||
| And look at now, you go, when I came from Cuba, when I was a little kid, to learn how to do anything, the reason why I learned how to do anything was because the police athletically I swear to God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Shooting, fishing in Central Park, boxing program. | ||
| You know, you shot pool. | ||
| Who do you think taught me how to shoot pool? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Police Athletics. | ||
| Yeah, right on there in 88 in Amsterdam. | ||
| It's a smart move. | ||
| So I was always indebted to those people. | ||
| Always in my heart because I was a Spanish kid. | ||
| They took me in over there. | ||
| They fingerprinted me. | ||
| They take you to the precinct. | ||
| You shoot a.22. | ||
| They give you the target. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| You little thing. | ||
| They give you like a little badge. | ||
| You know, and you're like, ah. | ||
| And so I always wanted to work for them. | ||
| Like, that was it. | ||
| I always, you know, and then after I got in trouble, I'm like, you know, I owe them a debt. | ||
| They were very good to me. | ||
| I was the guy that fucked up. | ||
| So I always worked for the cops. | ||
| I always tried to, you know, get fucking people to donate for stickers or, you know, bulletproof vests and all that shit. | ||
| And then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle, even though I got arrested six times. | ||
| It never worked. | ||
| They didn't fucking do anything for me. | ||
| Well, maybe you would have got arrested a lot worse. | ||
| A lot worse. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| When I found out, I was like, I'm out. | ||
| I'm not doing this. | ||
| And now, you know, you want to help out. | ||
| Something happens. | ||
| Hurricane relief. | ||
| And you're like, I'm not. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| I'm not doing it because it's, you know... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you feel like shit. | ||
| I'd rather see somebody give them a 20. Some guy's hungry? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just go give him a 20. I'm not giving leftover food or whatever. | ||
| Just give the guy a 20. Make his own decisions. | ||
| If he wants to snort it or buy fentanyl, go. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| You know, it's not my problem, but I did my job. | ||
| The Red Cross seems like a good one. | ||
| But also, wasn't the Red Cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the U.S.? Wasn't that one of the things that the Red Cross was doing? | ||
| Google that. | ||
| But that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are going to do this no matter what and show them the way to do it that's safe. | ||
| If they're going to do it, they're going to do it. | ||
| Showing them the way that's safe to me seems like almost an ethical thing to do if you know that this is happening. | ||
| And then providing them aid along the way so they don't die. | ||
| That seems like, you know, the whole immigration thing is very complicated. | ||
| You know, you came from immigrants. | ||
| I came from immigrants. | ||
| My grandparents were immigrants. | ||
| But it's just the way they're doing it, where anybody can get through, is so wild. | ||
| So the Red Cross has provided maps to migrants traveling towards the US border. | ||
| Now what is their reasoning? | ||
| Is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants? | ||
| The map on the social media is real. | ||
| Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the International Committee of the Red Cross. | ||
| The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies including the American Red Cross. | ||
| The map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by aid organizations including the National Red Cross Societies to Migrants Traveling to Central America. | ||
| The pamphlet also includes resource information like where to find food, shelter, and medical assistance. | ||
| While the map has been around since at least 2018, American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the COVID-19 pandemic to promote these safety materials. | ||
| The Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map. | ||
| The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after the COVID-19 partnership expired. | ||
| The current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners are the National Red Cross Societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. | ||
| Does not seek to encourage or discourage migration, but rather to contribute to mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route. | ||
| I can live with that, Chuck. | ||
| I can live with that, too. | ||
| I can live with that. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not encouraging people to do it. | ||
| That's saying they're doing it. | ||
| Let's make it so at least they have a safe way to do it. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| This migrant situation has turned everything around. | ||
| New York City, Chicago, LA, they're everywhere, you know. | ||
| And yeah, tax money and New York's giving you $10,000 now, an ATM card, right? | ||
| They give you $10,000 if you're a migrant. | ||
| Something along those lines, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, and I don't know. | |
| There's a lot to say. | ||
| You know, look at our fucking vets, how they get treated. | ||
| I'm going to send you this, Jamie. | ||
| See what's going on in Paris? | ||
| They were trying to kick these dudes out of the country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They started a riot at the airport. | |
| Who were they trying to kick out? | ||
| Illegal immigrants. | ||
| I'll show you. | ||
| Jamie, I just sent it to you. | ||
| Yeah, and they're like, no, we're not going. | ||
| They're like, you have to go. | ||
| There's too many of you. | ||
| Like, no, fuck you. | ||
| We're not flying. | ||
| And they started a riot at the airport. | ||
| They were trying to deport him. | ||
| And they're like, uh-uh. | ||
| We're here. | ||
| Listen, all I remember is one thing, Joe. | ||
| And I use this, and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Give me the volume. | ||
| This is a full-on Donnybrook at the airport. | ||
| it. | ||
| They're beating up attendants. | ||
| Security guys are getting fucked up. | ||
| Just wild shit, man. | ||
| So they got them over there too? | ||
| Yeah, they have a lot. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot of migrants in Europe. | ||
| Yeah, it's basically, it happened right after the pandemic in mass. | ||
| It's just massive amounts of migrants in Europe, massive amounts of migrants here. | ||
| It's almost like it's on purpose. | ||
| If it's not on purpose, what a coincidence. | ||
| But it just seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in. | ||
| But what I was telling you before was, I think I told you last time, I saw what the Mario Boatlift did to my area. | ||
| Hudson County, not in 1979, but I saw it five years later. | ||
| And then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco. | ||
| When I got to San Francisco in 95, there was a huge Cuban population. | ||
| San Francisco. | ||
| So this is the people that took off... | ||
| For Mario in 78, 79. Is this when Fidel kicked him out? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He kicked out 160,000 people. | ||
| We didn't have records on these people. | ||
| So we didn't really know what they were about. | ||
| They could just tell you I worked in construction, you know, and they didn't know. | ||
| So this is that, but ten times. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was 100,000 people, 200,000. | ||
| This is 8 million or something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That come through? | ||
| At least. | ||
| You're not going to feel this today. | ||
| You're going to feel this five years from now. | ||
| Well, they could feel it real soon, depending upon who the people are and why they're here. | ||
| You know, the most troubling version is sleeper cells. | ||
| The most troubling version is that there's military cells that exist here. | ||
| Terror cells. | ||
| The Chinese were coming in. | ||
| Now they're growing wheat. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Chinese? | ||
| Jamie, go to the videotape. | ||
| Chinese are buying farms. | ||
| You just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese are buying farms here. | ||
| Yes, they're definitely buying farms. | ||
| What do you think they're doing with those fucking farms? | ||
| Grazing fucking sushi? | ||
| No! | ||
| They're fucking grown reefer. | ||
| Department of Homeland Security memo first reported by the Daily Caller received as a part of the Freedom of Information Act request said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals. | ||
| Who the fuck you think you're dealing with, Joy Bonacci? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 275 grow-ups in Maine. | ||
| And the weed is on fire up there in New Hampshire. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| They say that's the best weed right now, New Hampshire. | ||
| Really? | ||
| New Hampshire? | ||
| Somewhere up there. | ||
| New Hampshire, Maine. | ||
| They say the weed is so fucking strong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| So what is the legalization of weed in Maine? | ||
| Is it legal there? | ||
| Not sure, brother. | ||
| It's legal in so many states now. | ||
| Maine, New Hampshire, I think. | ||
| How much cannabis can I possess? | ||
| Adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2.5 ounces of a combination of cannabis, cannabis concentrate, and cannabis products, including no more than five grams of cannabis concentrate. | ||
| How many plants can I grow? | ||
| Mainers can grow cannabis for personal use. | ||
| That's reasonable. | ||
| Is that your phone? | ||
| No. | ||
| Something's ringing. | ||
| That's you, bro. | ||
| It's ringing like a phone phone. | ||
| You get the old school ring on there. | ||
| You pick that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, and Jersey's buck wild, right? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| With weed. | ||
| I just started going to weed stores in January. | ||
| I said, you know what? | ||
| I'm done with laughing gas. | ||
| I gotta expand my horizon and see what's out there. | ||
| And the first one I went to was in Neptune. | ||
| And they're pretty impressive. | ||
| It's a big fucking joint. | ||
| I forget the name of it. | ||
| It's pretty impressive. | ||
| Second place I went to is 15 minutes from my house, Joe, right by the doctor's office in Freehold. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And that's when I discovered rhythm. | ||
| Because I was like, listen, I'm here to see the devil. | ||
| I don't wanna know that Jersey fuckin' swank, you know? | ||
| And it's, everything's in containers, it's completely different, you know? | ||
| And they got, I got this rhythm, 36%. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And I'm like, this is me, dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check this out from the, I guess this is, what is this? | |
| Affidavit for probable cause. | ||
| From where? | ||
| From the Chinese immigrants in Maine. | ||
| It says, we are in prison. | ||
| Please come and save us. | ||
| We are here. | ||
| It gives the address. | ||
| No cell phones. | ||
| We are abducted from China. | ||
| Passports were confiscated. | ||
| The boss is a woman. | ||
| 5'2", about 45 years old. | ||
| No means of transportation. | ||
| The manager is Asian, black hair, 5'6". | ||
| A lot of marijuana is grown on the first floor. | ||
| A lot of finished products. | ||
| No escape from the house. | ||
| Only work, but no salary. | ||
| I want to leave here. | ||
| We tried to escape, but failed. | ||
| We were beaten. | ||
| Please come and save us. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| So they got slaves working, making the weed in Maine. | ||
| Yeah, Shanghai'd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And that shit's strong. | ||
| That's the shit that the Boeing mechanics are smoking. | ||
| Isn't that crazy that there's slaves in America right now growing weed for China? | ||
| Let's see where this is gonna go. | ||
| It's fucking interesting. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I saw this a couple weeks ago. | ||
| I read the article. | ||
| I'm like, oh, and then that guy said it on your podcast. | ||
| Well, he said about farmland, yeah, but I didn't know it was happening like that. | ||
| The fuck you think they're doing? | ||
| Growing fucking bean sprouts or soy sprouts? | ||
| They're going for it, Jack. | ||
| Well, they're controlling farmland. | ||
| It's around military bases. | ||
| That's what's scary. | ||
| And a lot of Chinese were coming through the border with these guys. | ||
| Yeah, military age. | ||
| A lot of Chinese. | ||
| So let's see where this hand is getting played. | ||
| Not only a lot of Chinese, but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way. | ||
| They have a Chinese restaurant. | ||
| Everything's written in Chinese. | ||
| Chinese signs everywhere. | ||
| So they have a very specific, organized route to get to America. | ||
| And these guys are all young, fit guys coming to America. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| We're just basically sitting ducks. | ||
| We're waiting. | ||
| Yeah, we're sitting ducks. | ||
| And there was a big warning today. | ||
| Homeland Security's warning about terrorist attacks in America. | ||
| That's what scares me about this fucking election, too. | ||
| I'm not saying that they would do this, but I definitely think they have in the past. | ||
| Like, allowed things to happen just so they can tighten up on restrictions and laws and scare people more and get people to vote one way or another. | ||
| Scary shit. | ||
| We're looking at weird times, my friend. | ||
| The weirdest, right? | ||
| The fucking weirdest. | ||
| And ever in your life, could you ever imagine things be so bizarre as they are right now? | ||
| They've been bizarre for about five years now, where you just can't believe the shit you're hearing, and you just say, you know what, I'm gonna stick to my camp. | ||
| I'm good here. | ||
| It was bizarre in 2017, but it wasn't bizarre like now. | ||
| No. | ||
| This is something different. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| Diddy getting arrested. | ||
| Just everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Just a bridge getting hit. | ||
| It's something every fucking week. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| You know, Trump, $480 million. | ||
| They need it by Monday. | ||
| I mean, it's just fucking... | ||
| I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out. | ||
| I didn't know who the fuck was gonna bail him out. | ||
| Yeah, how does that work? | ||
| I think they knocked it down to $175 billion. | ||
| They asked him how's he gonna pay it. | ||
| He goes, cash. | ||
| And now he's worth six point something billion because of the social deal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's all stock, I guess. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The whole thing... | ||
| I'm not a financial guy, obviously, but I think the whole thing is liquidity. | ||
| How much money do you actually have coming in? | ||
| How much is it tied up in real estate investments and holdings and Trump's got buildings and hotels and resorts and... | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| A lot going on. | ||
| How the fuck can he pay attention to all that shit? | ||
| Can you imagine running some kind of a business empire, trying to pay attention to everything? | ||
| Doug, I met him when he was fucking at a football team. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he owned the fucking generals. | ||
| That's how I knew Herschel Walker and those people. | ||
| That's how I met those dudes. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| Fucking 85. You met Trump in 85? | ||
| A long time ago. | ||
| What was he like in 85? | ||
| Hello, goodbye. | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| It's not like we hung out. | ||
| I was scared of him. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it was like, I told you, when I got out of jail, I was supposed to have a job selling siding and doors and saddles and electrical equipment, an indoor salesman in Jersey. | ||
| And when I got out of prison, I go, I'm out. | ||
| Can I come take the job now? | ||
| And he goes, I can't. | ||
| We're going out of business. | ||
| And I go, what happened? | ||
| He goes, Trump built something. | ||
| He was going to these little hardware stores like ours, told us to go fuck ourselves. | ||
| We're done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I knew this in 88. What do you mean? | |
| At that time, supposedly, he would build something. | ||
| It's like you coming to somebody, a little restaurant and going, I want to build my own fucking steak. | ||
| And he would go to people and say, I'm going to build this and then use your lumber or whatever the fuck. | ||
| And since there's so much with contractors, there's subcontractors and subcontractors, they would stiff their bills. | ||
| They weren't paying their bills. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, this one out of the light. | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| This isn't something, you know, and that's all I remember from Trump. | ||
| I met him in 85, and I fucking, that was my only thing with Trump. | ||
| You know, if you're from New York, you know who he is. | ||
| You've been hearing the name growing up. | ||
| Yeah, I remember hearing about this from you, actually, now. | ||
| You were telling me that there was, uh, with contractors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Stiff, small contractors. | ||
| Small contractors, and then we'll go downhill. | ||
| You know, run downhill. | ||
| So now I gave you all the doors I had for your project. | ||
| Trump just wasn't building one house with one window. | ||
| I'm giving you everything on the arm. | ||
| Yeah, you gave me a deposit. | ||
| Maybe sometimes not. | ||
| Maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump. | ||
| I got such a small place that I forget everything. | ||
| You know, whatever the fuck happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's what happened in 88. I mean, I don't know the whole story, but he mentioned Trump. | ||
| That's all I remember from that fucking guy. | ||
| I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that, it's probably a lot of people involved. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| Making decisions. | ||
| A building? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A building? | ||
| He's the GC. He takes bids for everything else, right? | ||
| That's how it usually works. | ||
| Is that what Trump does as a real estate developer? | ||
| I don't know how it goes down, but there's a GC, a general contractor, and then... | ||
| There's windows, wiring, you know, all the different departments. | ||
| You don't know what everybody's doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You got 20 people in your fucking building. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, when you built the comedy club, how many people were fucking there every day? | ||
| Yeah, a lot. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| You're not a contractor, so you don't know if they're doing the war right. | ||
| You know, you just trust whatever. | ||
| So this is all I remember. | ||
| That was it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the whole construction business was always shady. | ||
| And it was always tied up with the mob. | ||
| Like, I knew a couple guys who had no-show-up jobs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like at the Javits Center. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You just get paid. | ||
| Concrete. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They own concrete. | ||
| That was the thing. | ||
| The mob would make deals whenever any sort of job was getting done. | ||
| They'd have a certain amount of no-show jobs for their guys. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Always. | ||
| And then you get insurance. | ||
| And that's when you arrest those guys and you go, what do you do for a living? | ||
| I'm in the carpenters' unit. | ||
| Carpenters' unit. | ||
| You don't even know what an inch is. | ||
| You don't even know how to measure six inches, you fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it was a scam. | ||
| But it was how they avoided taxes too, right? | ||
| Because taxes was what brought a lot of them down. | ||
| That's what brought Al Capone down. | ||
| Tax evasion. | ||
| Tax evasion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But the other guys were pretty smart. | ||
| They had the millionaire club, the bid club. | ||
| They would only do $2 million bids or something. | ||
| They would take $2 million right off the top to mob on every job. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| Just, are you kidding me? | ||
| Every job in New York, you know, it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there with Gotti, he controlled construction. | ||
| Like, that was his fucking thing, you know? | ||
| You couldn't get anything built without that fucking dude. | ||
| Can you imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you gotta do deals with the mob? | ||
| And you gotta do deals with Sammy the Bull? | ||
| Well, here's the deal. | ||
| Like, I remember in 80, 90, I was roofing. | ||
| And the company was from Jersey, my brother-in-law. | ||
| And I asked him, you know, why'd you pick up this job? | ||
| And he was telling me, it's just so difficult. | ||
| And I go, what do you mean? | ||
| He goes, take the dumpster. | ||
| That dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they bring another one? | ||
| In Colorado at the time, it was $200. | ||
| That same dumpster in New York was $2,000 a day. | ||
| That's how inflated the prices were. | ||
| $1,800 different. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's what the cost of doing fucking construction, you know, in New York. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, it was always a corrupt town. | ||
| Like, that's why it took the UFC forever to get into New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was... | |
| Gotta pay the right... | ||
| Look at these people waiting for licenses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know people in Jersey waiting for a license since I landed. | ||
| I got a license. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You gotta grease 80 fucking people. | ||
| 80 people. | ||
| You got to know people, pay. | ||
| I know companies that are still waiting for a license from L.A. They just thought they were going to come and apply in New Jersey or in New York City. | ||
| Look at New York City. | ||
| They had a thing. | ||
| They were giving licenses only to people who had felonies. | ||
| Did you remember that? | ||
| In New York, they wanted the ideal medical marijuana owner as an ex-convict who went to prison or got in trouble for marijuana. | ||
| This is his second chance. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| It's fucking insane. | ||
| Can't get a license in New Jersey. | ||
| That is kind of crazy, but... | ||
| They should do something for those poor fucks that went to jail for weed. | ||
| Nobody should ever went to jail for weed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for. | ||
| You put people in a cage for that. | ||
| Especially while everything else is okay. | ||
| Doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Look what you're finding out now. | ||
| Look at this guy today. | ||
| I got in the uber fresh out of smoking a fucking joint of this shit this morning. | ||
| Thank God the guy was Cuban. | ||
| When they send you the Uber name, the guy's name was Antonio. | ||
| I go, he's Cuban. | ||
| Got in the car. | ||
| I was in the car two minutes. | ||
| He goes, what is that shit? | ||
| And I just gave him the canist. | ||
| I go, smell this. | ||
| He's like, wow. | ||
| And this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years. | ||
| And he said to me, you know, I don't know what the fuss is about this. | ||
| This is a magical herb. | ||
| People don't realize when you smoke this, pains go away, you start thinking clearer. | ||
| He goes, it takes time. | ||
| There's a fucking Uber driver telling me this shit. | ||
| And I asked him, how do you know about this stuff? | ||
| He goes, in Cuba, we were growing weed. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It was outdoor weed. | ||
| It wasn't that strong, and sometimes they bring it from Jamaica. | ||
| That's what he was saying. | ||
| We were getting Cuba weed from Jamaica. | ||
| Because, you know, I mean, the soil is done in Cuba. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Well, they're complaining about cigars. | ||
| These cigars aren't tasting the same. | ||
| They said that the fucking soil has just been abused. | ||
| There's no nourishment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This guy was telling me today it costs more for a pack of chicken in Cuba than what it does in the United States. | ||
| A gallon of gas costs more in Cuba than what it does right here now, here in Austin. | ||
| Well, it makes sense. | ||
| I mean, it makes sense. | ||
| You have to have infrastructure. | ||
| You have to have capitalism. | ||
| You have to have people competing. | ||
| That whole communism thing doesn't work. | ||
| And the thing is, like, the thing that the people that love communism point to, they're like, yeah, but we put an embargo on Cuba. | ||
| Like, what if we didn't do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what? | |
| Yeah? | ||
| It's still a dictatorship. | ||
| It still is. | ||
| You get told what you're doing with your life. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| Nobody wants that. | ||
| You might think that that is better because there's no rich people. | ||
| If that's what you're thinking, you're missing everything because that means everybody's poor. | ||
| You don't want everybody to be poor. | ||
| You want everybody to have a chance to be well off. | ||
| That's what you have here. | ||
| Now, some people, they get a bad roll of the dice, they get a bad hand of cards, they get a bad situation in life, they get a bad place that they live, and they're fucked. | ||
| This is true. | ||
| And it's not fair. | ||
| It's not fair in terms of equal opportunity. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| But in terms of opportunity, there's no place better than right here. | ||
| And there's no place better with actual capitalism. | ||
| You can do great things. | ||
| You can do great things not just for you, but for other people. | ||
| You can do great things. | ||
| If people give you the freedom To do great things. | ||
| But if you live in a socialist country, you don't have any of that. | ||
| You don't get to decide what you do. | ||
| The state gets to decide. | ||
| And how do they enforce that? | ||
| There's only one way. | ||
| Force. | ||
| Military. | ||
| There's only one way to get people to follow the rules of communism and socialism, and it's always a dictatorship. | ||
| It's always one group has all the money and all the power and they tell you what the fuck you're gonna do. | ||
| And if you don't do it, they kill you or they lock you up in jail. | ||
| And they threaten people and they scare people and they make people disappear so everybody stays in line. | ||
| And that is what people always do whenever you get a communist country. | ||
| If you ask any of these wacky kids in colleges, give me an example of socialism that works. | ||
| They'll give you like socialist programs or countries like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries. | ||
| They have really good healthcare, really good education. | ||
| You pay a lot in taxes, but it goes a long way. | ||
| And they have a better society because of it. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But they still have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do. | ||
| They still have the freedom to do whatever kind of occupations they want. | ||
| You have the ability to make a shitload of money. | ||
| You have the ability to excel. | ||
| The problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything. | ||
| But you're never gonna have that because, first of all, it's impossible. | ||
| But second of all, because you're never gonna have a quality of effort And one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America where you have freedom is, some people put more into life. | ||
| They put more into the things they do. | ||
| And they get more back. | ||
| They get more out of it. | ||
| And they're inspiring to other people to do the same. | ||
| And you see them live a rich and fulfilled life and you're inspired to do the same. | ||
| That's not happening to Cuba, bro. | ||
| That is not happening. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's not happening in any of these communist countries. | ||
| Go to North Korea. | ||
| Ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farms so that no one would ever go hungry. | ||
| Let the state control everything. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| Everybody give up your farm to the state. | ||
| Now you're fucked. | ||
| Now you're fucked. | ||
| That's the beauty, you know, as somebody who knew that of the side, not from living it, but just from hearing the stories, it makes you appreciate this so much more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That, listen, you could... | ||
| You could fall into place in this country, or you don't need a ceiling over your income. | ||
| This is the greatest thing about this country. | ||
| It's like when I first got out there, I always worked on commission, Joe. | ||
| I don't want your hourly wage. | ||
| Shove that up your fucking ass. | ||
| I'm gonna come here and prove myself. | ||
| You want me to sell cars? | ||
| I'll sell cars. | ||
| Want me to sell doors or signs? | ||
| I'll sell them, but I'm doing it on commission. | ||
| I want the most that I could get for that fucking thing. | ||
| Most people don't... | ||
| I did that at 19. I knew. | ||
| For me, it was going to be commission work. | ||
| Yeah, and it's a dangerous choice. | ||
| It's a dangerous choice, but it's based on you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| With the effort you put into it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| If you want to sell. | ||
| When I worked at Foot Locker, I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at Foot Locker. | ||
| And it took me a while, but I fucking went. | ||
| And then when I started selling cars, again, I went for it. | ||
| Because I loved it. | ||
| I learned about salesmanship. | ||
| I learned about human nature. | ||
| I learned that you have to mail letters to people. | ||
| Those are the guys. | ||
| I know they're not going to buy a car, but if you send 100 letters, three people have to buy a fucking car. | ||
| So you're working on all numbers. | ||
| The United States is a beautiful fucking place. | ||
| Because a guy like me could write a book. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, a guy like me could, you know, went to prison. | ||
| You know, I didn't get Social Security when my mother died because she worked under a fucking alias. | ||
| You know, everything got beat up on me. | ||
| But let me tell you what's about to happen. | ||
| I'm going to retire when I'm 65, collect Social Security, and my daughter gets Social Security now for three years. | ||
| Which is like $1,800 a month for college or whatever the fuck, you know. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| So it all came out in the wash 40 years fucking later. | ||
| I didn't have the social security for me because my mom used the alias. | ||
| But my point is, dog, you can do whatever you fucking want. | ||
| You saw it, Joe. | ||
| We were talking about it today. | ||
| Kids were coming down here with cars, living in their cars. | ||
| And look what they're doing now because they believed in themselves. | ||
| You gave them a fucking door and they fucking took it. | ||
| Most people are still in LA. My agent said nothing's going to happen. | ||
| OK. You know, it's the same thing. | ||
| Some people take chances. | ||
| Some people sit there waiting for the bluebird of happiness. | ||
| That's the other option you have in this country. | ||
| You can actually sit and wait for the bluebird of happiness. | ||
| When I came out of prison, all I had to do was sign a piece of paper, and I'm disabled for life. | ||
| I got a $1,300 check every month. | ||
| And some people would take that and go look at me. | ||
| I'm living like a doctor. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Some people would go, $1,300 a month? | ||
| Fuck, that's me. | ||
| Food stamps? | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I could still take my bills. | ||
| I could still, you know, it's fucking insane. | ||
| It's the choices that you make, Joe. | ||
| And it can imprison you. | ||
| That kind of money, even a small amount of money can imprison you. | ||
| That's what scares me about universal basic income. | ||
| You know, people say if they gave everybody X amount of money, people could just pursue their dreams and they wouldn't have to worry about food. | ||
| No. | ||
| They probably won't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't give anything to anybody. | ||
| We're humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We take it for granted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We get 10 checks in the mail for a thousand a month. | ||
| They cut us off. | ||
| We don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'd rather not get anything. | ||
| Where are all these people? | ||
| After COVID, everybody fucking got checks in the mail. | ||
| Now you can't get people to work no more. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Can't get people to work. | ||
| You go to a place that's a great restaurant or something, and the first three people you face don't even know where the fuck they're at. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they had to hire them. | ||
| You know, you gave people money. | ||
| Now they're not gonna come back. | ||
| They're gonna build ways not to come back. | ||
| People were living it up during COVID, Doug. | ||
| Living it up! | ||
| Unemployment, this, that. | ||
| We still had to go out there and crack fucking stupid jokes outside, getting attacked by fucking spiders and shit, thinking there's a leopard in the fucking thing. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| The first time I went outside with Rich Voss, I didn't know what the fuck that was. | ||
| A bat almost hit me on stage. | ||
| And I told him, and he goes, oh, you missed the other night. | ||
| There was a fucking bear. | ||
| And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| There was a bear in the woods. | ||
| I don't know what he was talking about. | ||
| Some bear, a boar. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of them out there in New Jersey, right? | ||
| Yeah, you were telling me last time. | ||
| But, you know, America's fucking beautiful, man. | ||
| Where else can a felon with two strikes... | ||
| I got two strikes. | ||
| My next strike is life, right? | ||
| They give you like 20 years if you have three strikes. | ||
| When have you met a guy that's down on two strikes that did anything? | ||
| You just give up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're gonna get me. | ||
| I refused. | ||
| I told them, suck my dick. | ||
| Even when the feds were looking for me at 99 for that gun, I wasn't copping. | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| This is the path I'm taking. | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
| And I never got in trouble again, Joe. | ||
| Never. | ||
| You know, comedy became... | ||
| You need something to get you out of there. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, I just didn't stop doing coke. | ||
| Nobody just stops doing coke, Joe. | ||
| They go to eight rehabs. | ||
| But I saw something on the other side. | ||
| I saw what my friends were doing. | ||
| I saw what people were doing. | ||
| And once you hear about Roseanne getting the Tonight Show, were you there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Were you there when fucking Rodney blew up the garden? | ||
| No. | ||
| To see it is something completely different. | ||
| When you're at the store with guys working the door, how much were we getting? | ||
| $25 a shift? | ||
| She was paying me $25 on Sunday nights to work the door and $25 to MC. That's no money. | ||
| But you fall in love with what you're doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know there's a path. | ||
| And there's a path. | ||
| And when you start seeing other people rise, and you're stuck as a fucking addict. | ||
| You're fucking stuck. | ||
| You don't know when to stop. | ||
| I was stuck as an addict, and I got to being stuck as a fat dude. | ||
| Because there was a point, if my elevator broke, I wouldn't leave the fucking house. | ||
| I'm not walking those three flights of stairs. | ||
| I was 450 pounds. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| Were you really that big? | ||
| 418, 420. My wife was tying my shoelaces. | ||
| You know how embarrassing that fucking is? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know how fucking embarrassing that is, looking back at it now? | ||
| People coming to visit you and jazz. | ||
| That's bullshit life, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so much out there, Joe. | ||
| There's so fucking... | ||
| And now, that's what I'm trying to sell to my daughter. | ||
| There's so much out there. | ||
| You know, people in New Jersey, all they know is Florida. | ||
| I've never seen fucking people that love Florida so much. | ||
| I can't stand fucking Florida because they like it so much. | ||
| You know, vacation for people in Jersey, one week in Atlantic City, they bust out the white shoes, then there's one week in Florida. | ||
| That was not gonna be me. | ||
| Did you see that cop on TV? Which cop? | ||
| Yesterday, they were saying, if someone breaks in your house in Florida, please shoot them. | ||
| We prefer if you shoot them. | ||
| That's what we've gotten to now. | ||
| Did you see that guy? | ||
| Have you seen it, Jamie? | ||
| I'll send it to you. | ||
| I mean, he's getting a lot of heat today. | ||
| Ah, is he? | ||
| He probably is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Not in Florida. | ||
| I bet they're like, fuck yeah! | ||
| God bless Florida! | ||
| You want me to give this in a little brother? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| It's a year ago, I guess. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
| This is the same one. | ||
| Yeah, that's the guy. | ||
| He says. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Saves taxpayers money if you shoot home invaders. | ||
| It's probably right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unoccupied dwelling, felony third. | |
| Seven charges total. | ||
| His bond's $157,500. | ||
| And I want to say, as to the person, we don't know what homeowner, which homeowner shot at him. | ||
| I guess they think that they did something wrong, which they did not. | ||
| If somebody's breaking in your house, you're more than welcome to shoot them in Santa Rosa County. | ||
| We prefer that you do, actually. | ||
| So, whoever that was, you're not in trouble. | ||
| Come see us. | ||
| We have a gun safety class we put on every other Saturday, and if you take that, you'll shoot a lot better, and hopefully you'll save taxpayers money. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| That's Florida. | ||
| And then DeSantis just came out because all these houses are getting, people are squatting, taking over people's houses in New York. | ||
| I'm sure you've seen that. | ||
| Lady got arrested because she changed the locks on her own house. | ||
| Someone's squatting in her house. | ||
| She got into the house, kicked them out, changed the locks. | ||
| They called the cops. | ||
| They said they're tenants. | ||
| They arrest her. | ||
| Took her away in handcuffs because squatters were in her own house. | ||
| And then there's this guy on TikTok that started making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can squat. | ||
| And so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia, there's a thousand houses right now that people are squatting in. | ||
| That's a giant number of houses that squatters have just taken over these people's houses. | ||
| Are the people out of town? | ||
| Out of town or it's real estate holding, you know, maybe trying to sell it. | ||
| Maybe it's your vacation house. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe you're fixing it up. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But no one's living in it. | ||
| They move in. | ||
| They take over. | ||
| They have it now. | ||
| Is that everywhere now? | ||
| It's a lot of states, but it's not Florida. | ||
| In Florida, they're like, fuck you. | ||
| Like, DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it. | ||
| He's like, in Florida, that does not fly. | ||
| You know, there's no way anyone's going to squat in your house in Florida. | ||
| Which is what people want to hear. | ||
| You know, nobody wants their fucking... | ||
| Look, if you work really hard, you get a house, and you have a second house, you can use it as a rental property or whatever, you're trying to make some money, and then someone takes over that, and the system works for them and not for you, there's a big difference between tenants and squatters. | ||
| And if you can't make that differentiation, we got a real problem. | ||
| We got a big problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a big problem. | ||
| Somebody's gonna get shot. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's how this changes. | ||
| This is how this always changes. | ||
| Some guy comes home. | ||
| What the fuck are you eight people doing here? | ||
| You're not supposed to be. | ||
| He don't know nothing. | ||
| He's from Russia. | ||
| He don't know nothing. | ||
| He's an old fucking guy from Iran or something. | ||
| He don't know nothing. | ||
| You're in my house. | ||
| And they'll put him in jail. | ||
| And they'll put him in jail, but he'll shoot those eight motherfuckers. | ||
| Something bad will happen, but that's how it changes, Joe. | ||
| The thing is, once people start going to jail for defending their own property, You've made a mess. | ||
| You've made a mess. | ||
| You've made a giant mess. | ||
| And then the criminals are going to be aware of this and they already are. | ||
| They already are. | ||
| They're two steps ahead of you. | ||
| Yeah, they're two steps ahead. | ||
| They know what the rules are and they're going to get attorneys that are going to work with them and they're going to steal your house. | ||
| So let me ask you this. | ||
| You go on vacation with your wife. | ||
| I move into your living room. | ||
| You come back. | ||
| You're just going to greet me with nice eyes and say... | ||
| I don't know how that works. | ||
| You're going to call 911. There's a squatter here. | ||
| You got to get him out. | ||
| He's going to come. | ||
| Go, no. | ||
| How long have you been here? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We were in Europe. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| Is that what you're fucking telling me? | ||
| Well, I think some people can't physically do anything, right? | ||
| Because they get in the house and there's men in there. | ||
| Did you see about that lady in New York City? | ||
| She went to clean out her mom's place and there were squatters in there and they killed her. | ||
| Yeah, they just caught these guys, young guys. | ||
| They just, same thing. | ||
| They figured out there was no one in there, broke in, changed the locks, whatever, fixed it, stayed there. | ||
| You know how this changes, brother. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's always one guy that makes an example, makes a big, deep example, and then people go, well, I won't think twice about doing that. | ||
| It seems like the only way to really change is the law. | ||
| It's just I don't understand why there's so many laws that have been around for so long that when you see common sense solutions like Ron DeSantis saying, no, you can't do that. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| That's not going to happen in Florida. | ||
| That should be every state. | ||
| They should say, no, you can't steal people's houses. | ||
| That should be simple. | ||
| That has nothing to do with being... | ||
| Democrat or Republican. | ||
| It's like stealing property. | ||
| Just like no one should be able to steal your car. | ||
| No one should be able to steal your clothes. | ||
| They shouldn't be able to steal your house. | ||
| It seems that's logical. | ||
| It has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of these dumb things they try to attach to this. | ||
| It's just law and order. | ||
| We have to have a set of laws that we all abide by if we're going to have a peaceful society where you don't create victims and you don't empower criminals. | ||
| And the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me. | ||
| I just don't understand. | ||
| Almost like it's on purpose, like it's meant to keep things chaotic, keep us, you know, on our heels, keep us at each other's throats, keep us just trying to figure out what's the next problem they have to deal with. | ||
| And all the while, There's all this shit going on in Ukraine. | ||
| There's all this shit going on with green energy. | ||
| And Bill Gates is buying farmlands. | ||
| Like, God! | ||
| Can I have a fucking moment where I can just relax? | ||
| Well, even the squatters thing. | ||
| When did this start? | ||
| This started coming up about three or four years ago, during COVID, didn't it? | ||
| Or was it around before? | ||
| It was definitely around before, but I think it has ramped up considerably as things got more woke. | ||
| Because I think as things get more woke, you start looking towards the rights of... | ||
| Well, they're squatters. | ||
| They don't have nowhere to go. | ||
| Well, listen, no one is in that home. | ||
| And no one should have a home that is unoccupied where people are homeless. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| I'm gonna take a piss. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| I'll wait till Law& Order puts out an episode on squatters and I'll learn more about it and I'll come back and fucking drop it. | ||
| Alright, we'll be right back. | ||
| What did you bet? | ||
| Dustin. | ||
| You bet Dustin over Benoit Saint Denis? | ||
| I just looked at the card and I'm like, you know, It's a good bet. | ||
| It was a good bet anyway. | ||
| I like Cheeto and I like Sugar. | ||
| So I couldn't pick one there. | ||
| And then all the hype around the guy and Dustin, I go, everybody's betting this fucking soldier. | ||
| So I just took a chance to watch the fights. | ||
| It's not like I bet all the fights, I just bet. | ||
| I would have liked to see that fight with him not having staff. | ||
| He was going to have a hard time with Dustin's stand-up anyway. | ||
| Dustin's stand-up is just sharper, more battle-tested. | ||
| Benoit Saint-Denis started off as a judo guy. | ||
| And he has very good stand-up. | ||
| But there's levels. | ||
| And I think Dustin's level is extremely high. | ||
| His level stand-up is extremely high. | ||
| You see that when he fought Max Holloway. | ||
| He outboxed Max Holloway in that fight. | ||
| That was a big one. | ||
| And Max can box. | ||
| Max can box. | ||
| Max can box. | ||
| A lot of people are counting him out in his Justin Gaethje fight. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But he's got a lot of time to prepare for this. | ||
| The first fight when he fought 55, when he fought Dustin, that was a short notice fight. | ||
| He didn't have time to like really bulk up. | ||
| Like, well, I don't know how short notice it was, but I know he didn't bulk up. | ||
| I think he just tried to fight, you know, just be 145 but not cut weight, you know, which is his natural weight class. | ||
| Who's in Newark? | ||
| You're doing that card then? | ||
| Let's pull it up. | ||
| What's the Newark card? | ||
| Have they announced that? | ||
| I'll tell you when that is. | ||
| I know they have an Atlantic City card this month. | ||
| I saw the ad. | ||
| Yeah, that's this weekend. | ||
| Chris Weidman's fighting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's the first week in June? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's June 1st. | ||
| UFC Newark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| Who's that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's not on the It's not on the list? | ||
| It's on the schedule. | ||
| Yeah, that's far ahead. | ||
| So here we are in March, April, May, June. | ||
| It's probably not scheduled yet. | ||
| They probably have a tentative fight set. | ||
| And it probably is dependent upon who wins what and who's healthy when. | ||
| Bro, this one. | ||
| Whitaker versus Hamzat Shemaev in Saudi Arabia. | ||
| That one is gonna be fucking wild. | ||
| That's a wild one. | ||
| That is a wild fight. | ||
| Calvin Gastelum vs. | ||
| D-Rod, that's a great fight too. | ||
| Is that the only two fights that have been announced so far? | ||
| Bro, Whitaker vs. | ||
| Hamzat is legit. | ||
| That's a real fight. | ||
| That's a real fight for Hamzat. | ||
| Because Whitaker's a big dude. | ||
| He's a big, I mean, solid, beefy 185, former champion. | ||
| Both guys started at 170, but it was too hard to make the 170. That's a real 185-er, as opposed to like, you know, they gave him Kamaru Usman, and Kamaru didn't have a chance to prepare for that. | ||
| He had 10 days. | ||
| You know, that's not enough time. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what kind of shape he was in. | ||
| Couldn't really test his game. | ||
| He's always in shape. | ||
| Famously, Kamaru has bad knees, like real bad knees. | ||
| So I don't know how hard he was training and whether or not he prepares the way, like maybe he only like sacrifices his knees during training and then when he's not training for a fight, he takes it easy so he doesn't stay in the same kind of shape. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But I know he was winning in the third round. | ||
| I mean, Kamaru, if that was a five-round fight, who knows how the fuck that fight would have went. | ||
| And, you know, obviously Kamaru's world championship caliber, the best welterweight of all time by most people's accounts. | ||
| And, you know, it's not enough time. | ||
| Not enough time to get a guy like that to prepare for Kamaru, to prepare for Hamzat. | ||
| But at least we got a chance to see what Hamzat looks like against a world-class, world championship caliber fighter. | ||
| So this was a big one. | ||
| This is Robert Whitaker with plenty of time to prepare. | ||
| A guy who is just as legit as they get. | ||
| Just beat Paul Costa. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| How about my boy Demetrius last weekend? | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| He's so great. | ||
| Mighty Mouse took on a guy who's 250 pounds in a jiu-jitsu tournament. | ||
| I told you I'm scared of Mighty Mouse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking 250. And he tapped him. | |
| The dude was heavier than him by a hundred pounds. | ||
| The guy was enormous. | ||
| The guy was so much bigger than him. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| When I saw that, I'm like, God damn, he's great. | ||
| He is great. | ||
| And a brown belt. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| A fucking brown belt. | ||
| He's great at everything, too. | ||
| So this is him going through the tournament? | ||
| Is that what this is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is him and the giant dude. | ||
| Look at the size difference. | ||
| I thought it was Kurt Metzger. | ||
| Look how big that dude is. | ||
| This is big. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Mighty Mouse is so slick. | ||
| Got him on like a trip. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| And then managed to stay on top, which is really crazy. | ||
| That's just crazy that you couldn't get him off him. | ||
| That's technique. | ||
| Pretty wild that he's even willing to do this while he's competing. | ||
| I mean, I think he's the champion over at 1FC still. | ||
| So he's still doing MMA, still doing, like, high-level championship fights, and he's fighting in the Gi, in the Gi tournament, which is just nuts. | ||
| Gotta love him, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's just crazy that he stayed on top of this guy, then he got his back. | ||
| Went to time, didn't it? | ||
| No, I think he tapped the guy. | ||
| Didn't he? | ||
| I feel like he tapped him. | ||
| Oh, maybe he did. | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| He got him with some kind of a choke. | ||
| See, he's got his collar. | ||
| He tapped him. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| No audience. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's the thing about jiu-jitsu tournaments. | ||
| No one's there. | ||
| I mean, some of the best... | ||
| Look at how he rolled him, too. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Pretty wild. | ||
| Rolled him, and it looks like he's holding on to the collar and tapping him with his collar. | ||
| Like a bow and arrow? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He's probably the best ever. | ||
| My palms get sweaty, though. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I love watching that shit. | ||
| In terms of just pure martial arts technique, I think the best expression of martial arts I've ever seen is Mighty Mouse. | ||
| Did you have Hodge on yet? | ||
| Hodge Gracie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| He was looking to get on. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'll get ahold of him. | ||
| Because he was down here. | ||
| Three months ago, he was down there. | ||
| Somewhere, and one of my friends called me. | ||
| He goes, can you get him out? | ||
| I go, I'll get short notice. | ||
| Rogan's booked a year in advance. | ||
| Yeah, we're booked out pretty far. | ||
| I get these text messages. | ||
| I love watching. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu is so much like comedy. | ||
| How so? | ||
| It's so much, man. | ||
| In what way? | ||
| The longer you're in it, the prettier it gets. | ||
| And, you know, I'm watching Tom, I'm watching you here at night. | ||
| We're at a point where it's effortless. | ||
| It's second nature. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, it's just beautiful to see. | ||
| You know, comedy is great. | ||
| The 10-year mark is great. | ||
| The 20-year mark, something happens to you. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| Everything clicks. | ||
| And it's like with this art, jujitsu, you get in there, you get beat up for a year. | ||
| And then one day you start doing little things and you're like, oh shit, this ain't that bad, you know? | ||
| And it's the same thing, but once you put it all together, like when we were talking about Dave Battelle's special, it's a thing of beauty, man. | ||
| It's a thing of fucking beauty. | ||
| That's a thing of beauty. | ||
| When my hands get sweaty like that, I know that that's fucking beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, it's years and years and years of working. | ||
| I've always loved, like, you went to see the Black Keys last week. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| I love that you're going out and catching live music. | ||
| It makes my dick hard. | ||
| I wish I went to as much live music as you, but Jersey's a fucking nightmare. | ||
| You know, you have the Starland Ballroom and shit and all. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| You know, the heavy metal shit. | ||
| I can't, but I wish, because that's how you get better at all this shit, is by getting entertained. | ||
| That's how you... | ||
| That's what Mooney always used to say. | ||
| That's getting creative. | ||
| When I went to a UFC fight and saw, on a hit of acid, and saw Anderson kick that dude in the face, I went right up to my room and wrote a joke. | ||
| I'm like, this is... | ||
| You know, it just inspires you that they're that good. | ||
| We used to always talk about Anderson, how he could look at you and pinpoint the shot, and he was accurate. | ||
| That's a thing of art, man. | ||
| It is an art. | ||
| What am I talking about? | ||
| Yeah, it is an art. | ||
| Dog, I've swallowed like two of these zins. | ||
| What's gonna happen? | ||
| I'm gonna blow a zin fart tonight in that fucking green room. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna shit out those little tabs. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, I keep swallowing them. | ||
| Yeah, don't swallow those little bags. | ||
| You don't want to swallow those. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| I don't think it's going to hurt you. | ||
| At this point, I used to swallow gum until I was 30. Shit. | ||
| They used to say that gum gets stuck inside your body. | ||
| Yeah, I swallowed gum for fucking years. | ||
| I think that's a total myth. | ||
| And once you're so deep in it, you're like, I'm not going to stop now. | ||
| Now I spit it out. | ||
| But before, I would always fucking swallow it. | ||
| Well, have you seen that thing that people are doing now where they make them swallow a balloon? | ||
| They swallow a balloon to deal with their weight loss. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they swallow this bag. | ||
| It's like this little tiny thing. | ||
| It's about that big and it's attached to a tube. | ||
| And they swallow the whole thing. | ||
| And the tube's coming out of their mouth as they're swallowing it. | ||
| So they have a glass of water. | ||
| They swallow it. | ||
| It gets down in there. | ||
| And then once it's in their stomach, they pump it up. | ||
| And they fill this bag. | ||
| And this bag takes up a lot of room in your stomach. | ||
| So you get full much quicker. | ||
| And so that's the thing that keeps people from, you know... | ||
| Overeating. | ||
| They overeat. | ||
| They can't stop themselves. | ||
| They don't feel full. | ||
| People want to feel full. | ||
| And so this bag, you swallow this thing. | ||
| It's called a gastric balloon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do they inflate it with? | ||
| Is it water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| So they go in, swallow it, take this tube. | ||
| I thought they were showing it for a second. | ||
| They were showing it. | ||
| And I think when you've lost the weight that you want to lose, they can deflate it. | ||
| But then my worry would be that then you have this stretched out stomach that needs to get full again. | ||
| Doug, after I asked your advice on the gastric thing, you said you look into it. | ||
| I really thought about it. | ||
| Not the gastric thing. | ||
| Just all these get-health-quick things. | ||
| It's like Ozempic now. | ||
| Did you hear what I was talking about last night on stage? | ||
| Because I wrote that out the other day. | ||
| It was a stupid joke, but I think that people are going to go on Ozempic now. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| And the fat man is going to come back stronger. | ||
| What's the name of that show? | ||
| The 600-pound fat dude? | ||
| Yeah, My 600-pound Life. | ||
| All this shit's going to come back bigger and stronger, fat dudes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're just doing all this shit. | ||
| If you just lift weights and walk a little bit and watch yourself just a little tiny bit. | ||
| All these get-rich schemes. | ||
| If I go down to 265, I'll do all those MPs. | ||
| Because then I get stuck at 265. Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get stuck at 271, 270. But when you did Weight Watchers, you got down low. | |
| How low were you when you were Weight Watchers? | ||
| What I am now. | ||
| That's the lowest you've ever been? | ||
| Yeah, 277, 274. 274 was my lowest weight. | ||
| But I wasn't lifting weights. | ||
| I thought you were lighter than that. | ||
| No, I wasn't doing shit. | ||
| I was walking and kickboxing. | ||
| No weights. | ||
| And now you're doing weights. | ||
| No, you gotta do the weights at this age. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Very important. | ||
| I think it's important for bone density. | ||
| Dog, that sarcopenia, you lose it quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're not asking you to fucking be an Olympic lifter. | ||
| They're not asking you. | ||
| Look at all the things. | ||
| They're not asking you. | ||
| They're not just asking you for 30 minutes a day. | ||
| Just a little bit of something to keep the muscles going. | ||
| The thing about Ozempic is some people have pretty bad side effects and it's just – essentially it's doing is limiting your appetite. | ||
| Essentially it's doing something very similar to what this balloon thing does. | ||
| And I think you can get that done with a high protein diet. | ||
| You can limit your appetite by just going on a carnivore diet. | ||
| I know a lot of people that have done that and lost a lot of weight. | ||
| Just carnivore? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get satisfied way easier. | ||
| Two eggs, six eggs for breakfast and a steak? | ||
| Just eggs and meat and your body just adjusts. | ||
| Your body turns the protein into glucose, and it turns the fats into ketones. | ||
| For me, it just seems to work better. | ||
| And I know a lot of people that have had a problem with carbohydrates, they start to... | ||
| Look, I had those guys do it for World Carnivore Month, the comics that I've got working out at the gym. | ||
| I'm like, who wants to commit to this? | ||
| The entire month of January, nothing but meat. | ||
| And they did it and they're like, dude, I feel so much more energetic. | ||
| I'm not tired in the middle of the day. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, that's like a carb crash. | ||
| You're getting like an insulin crash in the middle of your day because you're eating carbs and sweets and sugar and bread and pasta and rice and all this stuff. | ||
| If you eliminate that stuff from your diet, it takes a while for your body to adjust. | ||
| It took me like a couple of weeks when I first did it. | ||
| But then once your body adjusts, you just feel like you have an extra gear. | ||
| You have more energy. | ||
| You feel clearer headed. | ||
| You feel better. | ||
| Just all that meat, Joe, scares the shit out of me, man. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| In what way? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I get a little iffy with a lot of meat. | ||
| You get iffy? | ||
| Late at night, I could probably blast fucking three eggs in a... | ||
| Yeah, then have eggs. | ||
| Scrambled eggs and a steak. | ||
| Eggs are easy. | ||
| Eggs are easy. | ||
| They're easy to digest. | ||
| They're super nutritious. | ||
| They're so good for you. | ||
| You could live off nothing but eggs. | ||
| Eggs are great. | ||
| Seven grams of protein. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eggs are fantastic. | ||
| Three eggs is 21 fucking grams, man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking good for you. | ||
| And all the stuff that says it's not good for you is nonsense. | ||
| It's just good for you. | ||
| Eggs are good. | ||
| They're healthy. | ||
| Does our girl like the carnivore diet? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Rhonda? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, she likes it. | ||
| But I think she thinks that you should have vegetables too. | ||
| And some people do think that. | ||
| She's got me eating blueberries like a motherfucker. | ||
| Blueberries are great. | ||
| She said it makes you smarter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I'm eating blueberries. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Watch one of the things. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Blueberries actually make you smarter. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| How does it make you smarter? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I didn't listen to it after that. | ||
| My attention span. | ||
| You need more blueberries. | ||
| I love her though. | ||
| I do everything she says. | ||
| Today she put a video of her fucking working out. | ||
| I wonder how they would figure out whether or not blueberries make you smarter. | ||
| Do they give you blueberries and then make you take a test? | ||
| She did a survey. | ||
| You know her, bro. | ||
| A group of six people got together in Norway and fucking blueberries for a month. | ||
| The thing about that though is you have to look at healthy subject bias or healthy statistics bias because the people that are in that group that are eating blueberries in the beginning or to begin with are probably healthier people. | ||
| Healthier people might be a little smarter. | ||
| You know, like, more aware of what, like, the effects of eating good food does to your body. | ||
| So healthy user bias is real. | ||
| I don't know, though. | ||
| I don't know how they did the study. | ||
| But a lot of those studies are, they're weird. | ||
| It's just, you get a sense of what's true and what's not, but also people manipulate those studies, and they make studies designed to get the result that they're trying to achieve because they're trying to sell you something. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| I get very nervous when all these people are on the sozampic stuff. | ||
| I just get very nervous because Brian Simpson had a horrible side effect. | ||
| He was fucked. | ||
| He was wrecked. | ||
| He stayed at home for days. | ||
| Listen, from all the experience we have of everything that's come out the last couple fucking days, the last couple years... | ||
| Here it says, Dr. Rhonda Patrick, blueberry concentrate increased brain blood flow, brain activation, and working memory in adults compared to placebo. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| Concentrated blueberry juice. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So it improves brain function in older people. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Let's get a blueberry smoothie. | ||
| Get the party rolling. | ||
| I do them all the time. | ||
| Pop in the water, blueberries, a little protein powder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Nice. | ||
| Bango! | ||
| They're good for you. | ||
| What stops that crash in the afternoon? | ||
| I've been getting it since I turned 58. Never slept before in the daytime. | ||
| Now you're taking naps? | ||
| 4 o'clock. | ||
| I mean, my world ends. | ||
| It's the saddest thing. | ||
| Not even reefer, edibles, nothing. | ||
| Once she gets home from school, I talk to her. | ||
| We look at the homework. | ||
| She goes to her room. | ||
| I go downstairs. | ||
| My wife gets home. | ||
| And at about 4.15, I can't even hear you. | ||
| It's not about, I just got to get up and walk to bed. | ||
| She knows already. | ||
| And I crash for an hour and four minutes, an hour and six. | ||
| I get up for like 15 minutes. | ||
| I feel like shit. | ||
| Then I'm ready to attack 20 fucking people. | ||
| The first 15 minutes, I always feel shitty. | ||
| Like, man, I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon. | ||
| But some days I have it, some days I don't. | ||
| How much carbs have you eaten? | ||
| I eat that wheat bread in the morning. | ||
| And I really wanted to try intermittent fasting. | ||
| I get dizzy, like I get what Duncan gets. | ||
| Like, if you don't eat and drive, like if I don't eat and drive a long distance, I'm done. | ||
| I get dizzy and shit. | ||
| I tell you what happened to my friend Tommy? | ||
| No. | ||
| Tommy Jr.? | ||
| He was shoveling snow, cleaning his driveway out. | ||
| He got called into work on a Sunday. | ||
| Something happened. | ||
| And so he's shoveling his snow and, you know, he's not in the best of shape. | ||
| Shovel snow, heavy snow, it's all the whole driveway. | ||
| Gets done, drives in his car, falls asleep at the wheel and slams into a wall. | ||
| And he got pretty fucked up. | ||
| Bunch of broken bones. | ||
| Yeah, he's still not better. | ||
| This was months ago. | ||
| So what was the result of the nap? | ||
| From the shoveling? | ||
| Yeah, he just blacked out behind the wheel. | ||
| Yeah, just exhaustion, you know, not in the best of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, lifting snow is not good. | |
| It's a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| It's a real workout. | ||
| If you get wet snow and you got a whole driveway full of that shit, and, you know, you're digging in and lifting it up and digging in and lifting it up, your legs, your back, your arms. | ||
| But is there a reason? | ||
| Isn't the weather... | ||
| Contribute to that? | ||
| To what? | ||
| To that cold when you come out. | ||
| Like, I have a friend that I went to school with, and I came back, and how's your dad? | ||
| He died shoveling snow. | ||
| Well, it's a heart attack thing. | ||
| It's exertion, all right? | ||
| If you're not in shape, shoveling snow is equivalent to doing, like, a hard CrossFit class. | ||
| If you're not in shape, shoveling wet snow... | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Remember, we lived in Colorado. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the snow was light. | ||
| When it snowed in Jersey last time, I shoveled, and that's wet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The only thing that saved me, it's low amounts. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Three inches, four inches, and I go out there early and get it. | ||
| You get an 18-incher? | ||
| Oh, then I can't do that. | ||
| And then it gets a little warmer, and then it starts to melt, and then you basically got every shovel full is 45 pounds. | ||
| MKBHD posted this when you shovel in snow this winter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look, his heart rate's 118. 1200 calories in 90 minutes. | ||
| Yeah, 1,200 calories in 90 minutes of shoveling snow. | ||
| So look at that. | ||
| Every single smartwatch on Earth should have snow shoveling as a workout type. | ||
| I don't know a soul in the Northeast that would disagree. | ||
| It's fucking hard. | ||
| So if you're out of shape and you burn off 1,000 calories like my boy Tommy, and then you get behind the wheel, you fucking black out, you know? | ||
| Let's see if Whoop's got a snow shovel. | ||
| Probably didn't drink enough water. | ||
| I don't think Whoop has a snow shoveling. | ||
| I think you just have to put it in as a regular workout. | ||
| But 90 minutes of work. | ||
| So say if you have to leave your house at 6.30, you've got to be out there minimum 5 p.m. | ||
| shoveling. | ||
| You've got to go, I've got to leave an hour and a half. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| So basically you have to have very little clothes on because you're going to sweat your dick off and you're going to be out there. | ||
| Every fucking shovel full is probably 35, 45 pounds. | ||
| You've cleared four feet. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| And then you've got to get in there and get it off the concrete and really scrape it down. | ||
| Otherwise, it's going to melt and then freeze again. | ||
| And then your whole garage all the way down your driveway is going to be ice. | ||
| So you've got to really scrape it. | ||
| The ice is snubble show for a living. | ||
| Fifteen bucks an hour in 1983. I would sit out there, shovel snow, and case the apartments. | ||
| The whole Snowmass Village. | ||
| Every time people go skiing, I know when they were leaving, I knew the whole thing. | ||
| Yeah, we did that in Newton. | ||
| I shoveled snow for a living, man. | ||
| It was eight hours a day. | ||
| No, it was a full-time job in Snowmass Village. | ||
| You just applied for it, 15 bucks an hour, insurance. | ||
| After 90 days, it was a ski pass. | ||
| It was a job. | ||
| It was a fucking job. | ||
| That was your job. | ||
| Have you been to Aspen lately? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I'm going this summer. | ||
| I could just imagine. | ||
| Beverly Hills and the mountains. | ||
| Yeah, I could just imagine. | ||
| It's all these rich people, and it's really weird. | ||
| It's not what it used to be. | ||
| No. | ||
| I know I'm going to be in Africa. | ||
| You go watch those old documentaries when Hunter S. Thompson was there. | ||
| Was he there when you were there? | ||
| Did you ever see him? | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| At Woody Creek? | ||
| Did you go to the Woody Creek Tavern? | ||
| I used to go to get weed and the nachos were fucking delicious there. | ||
| Yeah, food's still great there. | ||
| Did you go? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it still open? | ||
| Yeah, it's still open. | ||
| I ate there a couple years ago. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| Yeah, we went to Aspen for a ski trip, and I said, we gotta go to Woody Creek Tavern. | ||
| Gotta go pay respects. | ||
| Doug, that was a place... | ||
| Think about an 18-year-old kid. | ||
| Just close your eyes for a minute. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| And I'm talking about... | ||
| No! | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Still open. | ||
| Oh, that changed a lot, Doug. | ||
| Did it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What changed? | ||
| It looks like a place now. | ||
| Well, it's a lot of photos of people on the wall. | ||
| When I was going in there, it looked like fucking a barn. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| 83. I had a friend, Kato. | ||
| Keith Korn was his name. | ||
| And I told him, I go, listen, you got to deal with me. | ||
| I love you to death. | ||
| Don't knock my door unless you got the best weed in town. | ||
| And when you do have the best weed in town, knock on my door. | ||
| I don't care if it's 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning. | ||
| And he would come over and tell me, I got great weed. | ||
| We got to go to Woody Creek Tavern. | ||
| First time I went in there. | ||
| Now, you want me to lie to you and tell you I knew who Hunter Thompson was? | ||
| I didn't know who the fuck he was. | ||
| First time I went in there, he was in there with Bill Murray. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And Don Johnson. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| First time I went in there. | ||
| I think, no, the second time was Don Johnson. | ||
| The first time it was Bill Murray. | ||
| I got my weed. | ||
| I got the nachos. | ||
| I didn't say a word. | ||
| You know, there was no pictures then. | ||
| And I just walked out. | ||
| And then on the way, the guy was telling me who Hunter Thompson was. | ||
| Then a year later, the first movie came out. | ||
| The first that was played by Bill Murray played him. | ||
| That was with a buffalo room. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| And then I went in there a second time and I saw Don Johnson. | ||
| And that was fucking mind-blowing. | ||
| He was hotter than shit on Miami Vice. | ||
| And then I went in there another time, and one of the nitty-ditty dirt band were there with Hunter Thompson. | ||
| It was a fucking party up there. | ||
| And I was a kid. | ||
| And they would tell you, if you go to Aspen Airport, the bar, Clint Eastwood's there every night. | ||
| Every fucking night. | ||
| And I would not go up there. | ||
| For some reason, I was just scared to meet Clint Eastwood. | ||
| A year young. | ||
| And Don Henley picked me up hitchhiking. | ||
| Really? | ||
| One time. | ||
| I got in the car, and he had that song. | ||
| It was 83, 84. So he just put out Dirty Laundry. | ||
| And he was big. | ||
| The boys of summer. | ||
| I'm in the fucking, because Aspen used to have a hitching post. | ||
| OK? So when you finish your job at Aspen, you could just go to a hitching post and stand out there. | ||
| If people went like this, that means they weren't going down valley. | ||
| So if they did this to you, that means they were just going to like Snowmass or something like that. | ||
| Short trip. | ||
| And people would pick you up all the fucking time and just talk to you. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Where you from? | ||
| I'm from there. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And the first time it was Don Henley, And I still lived in Basalt. | ||
| And then, 4th of July, 83, I moved to Snowmass. | ||
| And I was hitchhiking, and John Denver picked me up in a Jeep. | ||
| John Denver picked you up? | ||
| John fucking Denver, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And I'm like, come on. | ||
| This isn't, no. | ||
| And he's like, if you're not doing anything, I'm doing the thing. | ||
| He does a charity up there every fucking year or something. | ||
| I didn't even know. | ||
| I was just in the car. | ||
| Are you saying come to the show? | ||
| Yeah, like, come up. | ||
| It's free or some shit. | ||
| I don't know anybody. | ||
| Then like a month later, I go to Conoco in Old Snowmass. | ||
| There's Snowmass Village and there's Old Snowmass. | ||
| And I went to Old Snowmaster, because the guy was from New York, and he had hot dogs. | ||
| And I remember going there and seeing Goldie Hawn with Kurt Russell, like nothing. | ||
| Sandals on. | ||
| The girl, Kate Hudson, was a baby. | ||
| Maybe two, three, four, with her brother, a little brother that was older than her maybe. | ||
| I used to see them all the fucking time, man. | ||
| Sidney Poitier used to come into the video store. | ||
| I was shit! | ||
| That's when I asked Robin Williams for an autograph. | ||
| He told me no and he had body odor. | ||
| He stunk so fucking bad, he had been in the coke thing for like four fucking days. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| That was a magical, magical place for a kid at 18. It was just something different, man. | ||
| And I did a movie with Adam Sandler and Don Johnson was in the back and I had to do a scene with him. | ||
| And after every scene, we had to go into this closet, and I would talk to him. | ||
| And I go, I still remember you when you got chased down Galena Street. | ||
| And he goes, you remember that? | ||
| When Miami Vice was hotter than shit, like, 86, I was in Aspen. | ||
| And one night, we were at, like, Patty Bugatti's, and you see a bunch of people running down the street. | ||
| It's a bunch of women chasing Don Johnson. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's fucking running with his bodyguard down the street at Aspen. | ||
| Fucking crazy shit. | ||
| I can't imagine what it's like now. | ||
| It doesn't have that homey feeling. | ||
| No, it's a different thing. | ||
| On the way out of Aspen, when you made that turnout before you hit that road, the 82, there used to be a fucking diner on the corner. | ||
| And they were known for their crumb cake. | ||
| And you could smell it. | ||
| So all you smelt when you passed that was the crumb cake and the smell of the chicory, like the burning in people's fucking tremendous. | ||
| Like I'd never smelled that before. | ||
| Like all those things, it was just, I was like a kid in a candy store. | ||
| It had to be a culture shock too, right? | ||
| Coming from New Jersey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| Going to Aspen. | ||
| I remember the first month I'd come home and yell at my roommates, what the fuck did you do to me? | ||
| They're all faggots! | ||
| They all say good morning and hello and, you know, people pulling over. | ||
| Do you need a ride? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| And I'm like, no, no, you can't act like that. | ||
| These people really want to help you. | ||
| So what brought you to Aspen in the first place? | ||
| My brother Jimmy Burkle. | ||
| He got thrown out of the Air Force Academy and he went back home to get his weights. | ||
| To get his Olympic weights and speakers. | ||
| We drove cross country. | ||
| He said he was going to Aspen. | ||
| I knew nothing about it. | ||
| So you said, fuck it, I'll go for a ride? | ||
| 20 people were looking for me, so I had no choice. | ||
| So I came up with like $1,500. | ||
| I bought the car for us to drive in. | ||
| The axle fell off. | ||
| And it was weird because he'd call me a date when he was leaving. | ||
| But I was planning on robbing this bookmaker for a ton of dough. | ||
| The guy had money in a linen closet. | ||
| And he would have like a register. | ||
| It was like hundreds in the top, 50s in the second shelf. | ||
| And every time I went in there, he would just open up the closet and take money out and pay us. | ||
| And I go, we got to rob this guy. | ||
| So I was waiting to rob this guy. | ||
| I didn't want to go because I thought it was like a 20,000 day pay date, right? | ||
| I told him, just leave and I'll get a plane ticket. | ||
| When he got to Pennsylvania, the axle fell. | ||
| So he had to get towed back. | ||
| And once he came back, I knew I had to go. | ||
| Like, that was my sign. | ||
| Like, I gotta go. | ||
| He broke the fuck down, this guy, to come back. | ||
| And then I said, fuck, and I went with him. | ||
| I took just, I was 18, I had no family, nothing going on, and nothing to lose. | ||
| My cousin was up there. | ||
| I had a Cuban cousin, Tweedy, who got caught fucking throwing coke out of a bale. | ||
| Remember I told you that? | ||
| And then his nephew showed up to my show like a week later. | ||
| He got coke out of a bale? | ||
| He's the famous guy. | ||
| He was throwing the coke out of an airplane. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| He lived in Aspen. | ||
| That motherfucker did 25 years in America and another 15 in a Bahamian jail. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And he's out now. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| He's old, you know, he's old. | ||
| So I went up there, and I just... | ||
| It was, uh... | ||
| It was perfect for what I was just coming out of. | ||
| I lost my mother two years earlier. | ||
| I needed to fucking get some traction. | ||
| And I fell in that place. | ||
| Can you imagine, man? | ||
| I just fell into that fucking place. | ||
| Pretty crazy. | ||
| Pretty fucking crazy. | ||
| But a good shift of perspective, right? | ||
| You get to see a totally different way to live. | ||
| And I had to figure it out for myself. | ||
| And I still remember being up there struggling and joining Colorado Mountain College. | ||
| No high school diploma. | ||
| Just walked in one day. | ||
| I like to take some classes. | ||
| If you've got the money, you can take them. | ||
| Started taking six credits. | ||
| Six credits a semester. | ||
| No high school diploma. | ||
| Math classes, the whole fucking thing. | ||
| History. | ||
| Then I went to Boulder, and I joined continuing at Boulder. | ||
| And one day they came to me with a letter, Joe, and they're like, listen, you got too many credits for it. | ||
| You got to transfer it into a college. | ||
| And I'm like, I got no high school diploma. | ||
| And they're like, well, you can't take classes here. | ||
| I didn't tell them that. | ||
| I didn't have a high school diploma. | ||
| And I applied for the University of Colorado on the Spanish program. | ||
| Some program they had, you had to maintain a 2.0 in fucking garbage. | ||
| They gave you a tutor. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They gave you money out the ass, so I transferred into the University of Colorado. | ||
| They kept bugging me. | ||
| Where's your high school transcripts? | ||
| Where's your high school transcripts? | ||
| I'll whip one up in a second. | ||
| I didn't know how. | ||
| I kept lying to them. | ||
| They're coming. | ||
| They're coming. | ||
| And then finally I got arrested and I had to take my GED. So I said, fuck it. | ||
| And that's how I got in. | ||
| When you got arrested, you had to take a GED? Well, when you get arrested, you know, when they were thinking about me, I had to show the judge I was trying to get my life together. | ||
| And that was on the list. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| So I took the GED, and then I went to the University of Colorado, and then I got thrown in prison. | ||
| You're probably the only guy that's gone to college and then went back and got his GED. Can you fucking believe that? | ||
| There was no computer back then. | ||
| They just, yeah, whatever. | ||
| It was Colorado at the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bring it next time. | ||
| I mean, you could have had fake paperwork easy back then. | ||
| How would anybody have known? | ||
| I didn't want to do that. | ||
| I wanted to do it, you know, like, everything else in my life was shit. | ||
| Can I have one thing for myself? | ||
| Can I have one thing for myself that's... | ||
| What were you planning on doing when you were going to college? | ||
| Did you have a plan? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| Just take classes? | ||
| Just took classes, you know, and then I went to Boulder. | ||
| And when they transferred me in, those were real fucking, like, classes. | ||
| And that's when I got locked up. | ||
| That was the beginning of the end for me, so... | ||
| But I took it seriously, Joe. | ||
| Everything else was shit. | ||
| This is the only thing I have that's mine, that is not shitty, you know? | ||
| Sometimes that's what a person needs. | ||
| Something that they can dedicate themselves towards. | ||
| Because they don't feel like they have anything, and there's no direction. | ||
| They don't know what to do, and they just... | ||
| You know, that old expression... | ||
| Idle Hands of the Devil's Playground? | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's very real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you don't have a purpose in life, you don't have a direction that you feel like you should be going in, you feel so lost. | ||
| And you can get sucked into all kinds of things. | ||
| And you're filled with anxiety, and so then you escape with drugs. | ||
| You're trying to find something to make you feel better because you just don't feel good and you feel like a loser. | ||
| The only thing that makes you feel good is accomplishing things. | ||
| Having a family, having loved ones, having friends, having a community. | ||
| But accomplishing things, too. | ||
| Those are the only things that make you feel better in life. | ||
| You know, at that point in my life, I had my drug people and my criminal people. | ||
| But I had a couple people that were trying to help me out. | ||
| You know those people that bump into your life. | ||
| I had a high school teacher that was helping me out. | ||
| I had a bunch of people. | ||
| And since I didn't have parents, I was dedicating whatever I was doing in their name. | ||
| Is that hard to say or hard to understand? | ||
| Like, I didn't have parents. | ||
| So if you helped me out, when I did something, I was doing it for Joe. | ||
| To show him that I'm a good dude, that I'm worth spending time with. | ||
| Even comedy. | ||
| I love comedy. | ||
| I love comedy, but I got out of comedy what I wanted, to become a man. | ||
| That whole journey of comedy taught me how to be a man. | ||
| It taught you how to watch other comics and be happy for them. | ||
| It's a journey of education, being a comedian. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| And let me tell you something. | ||
| To be a comedian, your IQ has to be somewhere high up there. | ||
| Like the good ones, somewhere they gotta be up there. | ||
| They're not stupid. | ||
| No, we're not stupid. | ||
| We figured out how to, you know, get to that next level. | ||
| And that was, for me, that was the most important thing. | ||
| Becoming a man. | ||
| What is becoming a man? | ||
| Just somebody who can contribute to society. | ||
| Pay taxes, not have to steal. | ||
| I wasn't looking to be a multi-millionaire. | ||
| That was never in my fucking realm. | ||
| I just wanted to function first. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I just wanted to be a functioning person, not with cocaine. | ||
| You know, now, We were talking about something the other night. | ||
| 27 years I did that shit for. | ||
| I did more when I was clean in 10 years than I did in those 30 years. | ||
| So you're always thinking about what you lost. | ||
| And then I lost those two years to prison. | ||
| I lost a lot of time fucking around. | ||
| But look what I did accomplish in ten years. | ||
| It was mind-boggling. | ||
| Between a marriage, a child, a house, the career, the story. | ||
| You got on track. | ||
| Yeah, that was it. | ||
| For me, it wasn't about... | ||
| Having a jet plane, it was about being a fucking man. | ||
| Just having a normal life. | ||
| Being proud of yourself. | ||
| That's it, you know? | ||
| I got a three, I got a fucking, I got the Beatles. | ||
| I got two other people, one is missing. | ||
| You know, you have a big home. | ||
| They're everything to me. | ||
| But I never had that. | ||
| I never had that. | ||
| I never had, you know, my mother had her life and I had my life. | ||
| And I appreciated it because it prepared me to be the man I am today. | ||
| But at that time, it's like that line from a Pink Floyd song. | ||
| You're a stranger in your own home. | ||
| You were a stranger in your own home. | ||
| Your parents are doing what they were doing to try to keep the lights on. | ||
| You're out there delivering fucking newspapers. | ||
| You know, you were driving a limo. | ||
| You didn't know where the fuck you were going. | ||
| But you figured it out. | ||
| You didn't become stale. | ||
| You didn't sit on your fucking ass. | ||
| And that's what I think a lot of Americans are doing now. | ||
| When I sit here and I go, I did this in 10 years with nothing, you know? | ||
| That's the thing that people are not considering when they talk about universal basic income, things like that. | ||
| That you need... | ||
| You need challenges. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need challenges. | |
| You just told me you have a challenge. | ||
| You want to do something because it's a challenge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We challenge it. | ||
| We open up the door. | ||
| We're supposed to open up the mouth and... | ||
| Fucking put a chair in the lion's mouth and sit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what makes us tick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is to always be working towards something. | ||
| Yeah, I think everybody wants something like that. | ||
| There's no fucking way, Universal. | ||
| I don't want you getting the same handout I get. | ||
| Handouts don't work, Joe. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| Handouts do not work. | ||
| They do not work. | ||
| For certain people, they work. | ||
| But for certain, in a mass, they don't work. | ||
| People are gonna buy stereos and concert tickets and, you know, that comes first. | ||
| Even that episode of Sopranos, when the chick says, my phone's about to get turned off, I got no food and Tony gives her money. | ||
| And then she comes back, she goes, look at the shoes I got. | ||
| $600. | ||
| And he goes, what happened to that? | ||
| You know, you gotta live a little. | ||
| That's everybody's mind. | ||
| That was my mind. | ||
| Yeah, especially when you don't have anything. | ||
| Yeah, what's important? | ||
| Then all of a sudden you have $1,200. | ||
| Look at the fucking... | ||
| Jamie, look at the credit card debt that this country's in right now. | ||
| Did you see the credit card debt? | ||
| All these $400 countries. | ||
| You think people have this money? | ||
| No, what's the credit card debt like? | ||
| It's fucking insane right now. | ||
| People are living off their fucking cards, Joe, since the pandemic. | ||
| Now it's becoming second nature. | ||
| It's just a card. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever been in card debt... | ||
| You're never going to get out of it. | ||
| Unless a chunk comes into your life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not your little $4,000 tax return. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's got to be a chunk or you're never going to get out of that fucking debt. | |
| I was in huge debt. | ||
| Huge! | ||
| Huge! | ||
| Credit card? | ||
| No, I got rid of all that. | ||
| What was your debt? | ||
| You know, one day I woke up and I owed... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Maxed out inside America's credit card debt crisis and what we do next. | ||
| And this is from CNET. It says, our $1.13 trillion in credit card debt. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Is shattering lives. | ||
| Everyday borrowers share how they're navigating this uniquely American debt machine. | ||
| That's a lot of money, man. | ||
| And the thing is, they're giving credit cards to people that are too young to really understand debt. | ||
| You're giving credit cards to 18-year-olds. | ||
| No way! | ||
| That's when I failed. | ||
| No way! | ||
| And you know what, even, Doug, there's a lot of shit going on in colleges. | ||
| Oh, the college thing is the worst. | ||
| Like, when you get down to now, they're just, you know. | ||
| That's the worst scam. | ||
| The worst scam is the education loans. | ||
| It's the worst scam. | ||
| Worst. | ||
| It's the worst, because you're convincing kids that this is the only way they're going to be successful in life, and a lot of them don't even wind up using it, and then they're saddled down with debt. | ||
| For the rest of their fucking life and there's not a lot of good options other than that It's not like there's a lot of other things you could look to like this is a better way to go Like no like college for a lot of people is like the only path it seems reasonably lit Like that path I could see where that path is I'm gonna walk down that path and then all of a sudden you're a hundred thousand debt 150,000 in debt you're like And then you get a job out of college and it's for $52,000 a year. | ||
| You're like, oh my God. | ||
| How am I going to pay this money off? | ||
| Well, you're not. | ||
| You're not. | ||
| You're never going to. | ||
| And they don't stop. | ||
| No. | ||
| And it gets interest. | ||
| Dog, in the middle of my debt, a fucking student loan popped up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And they weren't taking no deals. | ||
| They weren't taking a penny on the dollar. | ||
| They wanted the full $3,000 from fucking 1980-something. | ||
| They're not fucking around those school loans. | ||
| We have a friend, a mutual friend, that decided not to get married. | ||
| As much as he loved this fucking girl, broke up with her because of her debt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He goes, if I marry her, 15 grand a month. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or something. | ||
| It was something crazy. | ||
| It was something crazy, like her school loans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He goes, I can't marry into that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're never going to. | |
| She has a kid in three years. | ||
| That's on me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, it's on you right away when you get married. | ||
| And if she dies, you owe it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of those deals. | ||
| It's on you. | ||
| You didn't get married. | ||
| And who knows how many. | ||
| What is the number? | ||
| What is the number that she owed? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Big. | ||
| Hundreds. | ||
| Attorney. | ||
| And she started taking money and taking world traps. | ||
| Because once you get those student loans, you know. | ||
| So again, it's a credit card mentality. | ||
| I'm already in debt. | ||
| They're offering me this on a credit card to go to Europe. | ||
| You know, one last blast to add to the fucking drama I already have. | ||
| And then you've got to find some insanely rich guy to rescue you. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| Having no credit. | ||
| Between you and I, I didn't know what credit was. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I knew cash. | ||
| I came from a cash society. | ||
| First time I walked into the University of Colorado and signed those fucking loan papers and that Pell-Gram paperwork, I think two days later I had a credit card. | ||
| With a $500 limit. | ||
| I didn't even know how to handle it. | ||
| And then they told me that you just call them and get the limit up. | ||
| And I kept calling. | ||
| And then you don't know. | ||
| Your limit's still stuck. | ||
| And now you have to go to a casino to have the fucking pit boss call your Visa card. | ||
| That's how they always got money. | ||
| Just give your credit card to the pit boss. | ||
| This is 30 years ago, though. | ||
| Not now. | ||
| Where you can just give the credit card to the pit boss and he can call Visa for you. | ||
| And they ramp it up. | ||
| Yeah, they ramp it up. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| Good news, Mr. Diaz. | ||
| You got an extra $2,000. | ||
| Booyah! | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you remember that scam where you would get like 10 cassettes for like a dollar? | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| I don't go to- Columbia House. | ||
| Columbia House. | ||
| I don't go to Indiana. | ||
| You've never seen me do anything in Indiana. | ||
| I must owe Columbia House $10 million. | ||
| Are you stupid? | ||
| I don't go to Indiana. | ||
| That's Terre Haute, Indiana. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| I still remember where that motherfucker came from. | ||
| I don't even go to Indiana. | ||
| I don't even want him to remember. | ||
| And then you would have to buy a new... | ||
| Three albums. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| Was it every month? | ||
| You'd get 12 CDs for a penny. | ||
| 12 hot hits for a cool penny. | ||
| I don't even think it was CDs back then. | ||
| Look, it says cassettes or records. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, how did they make money? | ||
| Because everything was re-recorded. | ||
| So they took Santana albums and then put it on like a cheap cassette or something. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Like it was something crazy. | ||
| So they re-recorded it? | ||
| Oh, I thought it was... | ||
| No, no, it was real. | ||
| It was real music. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's the band. | ||
| I thought it was different. | ||
| But it's something. | ||
| There's this catch here. | ||
| There's some catch. | ||
| So you had to buy, whatever, 12 hearts for a penny. | ||
| You had to put the penny on the paper and scotch tape it. | ||
| Stop right there. | ||
| AOL may have had the most prevalent mail-in magazine-based marketing campaign of the 90s, but a close second goes to both Columbia House, which was owned by Sony, and BMG, which was owned by RCA. It was a common sight in magazines of all shapes and sizes to see ads like the one above, which promoted extremely cheap collections of music in exchange for signing up for a membership. | ||
| It even single-handedly helped some CDs become hits. | ||
| Hootie and the Blowfish, for example, is said to have sold over 3 million copies of Crack Rearview through this service. | ||
| I was just going to try to skim through to find what it was. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I think what they did is that you would sign up for a credit card bill with this and then all of a sudden you'd start getting billed like 20 bucks a month. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was really hard to stop it. | ||
| There was no credit card in my day. | ||
| It was just send the penny. | ||
| You get 12... | ||
| Yeah, I don't remember a credit card. | ||
| I don't remember signing up with a credit card. | ||
| I don't think I got a credit card. | ||
| You sent the penny. | ||
| You sent the penny. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Degraded audio quality. | ||
| In 94, Stereophile Magazine published a feature analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs was actually much lower than one could find in a traditional record store. | ||
| The belief, which hasn't been confirmed, was that the service was using lower quality master tapes and on high quality equipment One could tell the difference. | ||
| But that said it wasn't confirmed. | ||
| Lack of royalty payments. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| Go up. | ||
| So it says... | ||
| Mental floss notes that those free CDs generally cost Columbia house a dollar fifty each to create a fairly low amount And overhead in those days the reason why it was so low Well, they didn't have to pay royalties on the giveaways and made the money back on the margins In other words that Nirvana album you got for free from Columbia house netted Kurt Cobain a grand total of zero dollars Wow So you didn't get paid for those? | ||
| So the model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting that they had subscribed to the service and then sending random CDs or cassette tapes to people that haven't asked for them along with a bill. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's the same kind of thing happened with like Girls Gone Wild. | ||
| Like you'd get one and then they just keep sending you a new video every month. | ||
| Tell us more, Jamie. | ||
| What happened to you? | ||
| I never paid for it, but I do remember getting a few free DVDs in the mail. | ||
| High profits after the freebies run out. | ||
| After you got these cassettes and discs shipped your way, the company charged high amounts to consumers, but they also kept most of the profits on the album sold. | ||
| Mental Floss suggested the company made as much as $7.50 on each album shipped. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I wonder how much the bands got paid for those from Columbia House. | ||
| Aggressive bill collection tactics. | ||
| Consumer Affairs and rip-off record of each report pages on the service and its collection agency, Trident Asset Management, that go back for miles. | ||
| If you haven't paid for those CDs you got back in the 90s, they're probably still looking to shake you down for your money, Joey. | ||
| I didn't do them in the 90s. | ||
| I didn't do them in the 70s. | ||
| A long time ago, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I still remember the album I got. | ||
| You know what the fucking first album I got from Columbia House was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Bye Bye Miss American Pie. | ||
| Don whatever his name was. | ||
| Yeah, wasn't it Don... | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| I got like her... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye Bye Miss American Pie. | |
| John McClain. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I still remember that one. | ||
| I bought, like, another one, Santana Braxis. | ||
| That was the song that would come on at parties and everybody would just start singing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great fucking song. | ||
| Great jam. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Didn't Tyson Fury have the entire audience sing that after one of his fights? | ||
| I think Tyson Fury sang that fucking song. | ||
| That's a jam. | ||
| To an entire audience. | ||
| I'll jump up and down. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| The one by Neil Diamond. | ||
| They have the new commercial with a bunch of black people, Mexicans in a bar, jumping up and down, and I'm like, black people, Mexicans will never jump up. | ||
| Which songs? | ||
| That's that guy. | ||
| Which song? | ||
| It drives me crazy. | ||
| You said it too fast. | ||
| I'm having a blind blink right now, but they're singing at baseball games a lot. | ||
| Drives me crazy. | ||
| They sing it in the Hamptons. | ||
| I know what it is. | ||
| They sing it in the Hamptons all the time. | ||
| Gentiles get together. | ||
| Sweet Caroline. | ||
| Sweet Caroline. | ||
| Drives me fucking crazy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He sings that one too. | ||
| I love Neil Diamond. | ||
| But that song, when it comes on a bar and I see people hugging. | ||
| It's not the song, it's people's reaction to the song. | ||
| Yeah, it drives me crazy. | ||
| And now they have a Budweiser commercial or something. | ||
|
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Sweet. | |
| With like brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| It's a great fucking song. | ||
| Tyson Fury, Recover to Cover? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Motherfucker! | ||
|
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|
I love that guy! | |
| That's the way to end the boxing match by someone. | ||
| That's fucking great. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| And he got the whole crowd to sing along, and they all stayed. | ||
| Most people leave when the fight's over. | ||
| Especially when you win by knockout. | ||
| They stayed, because they want to hear him talk. | ||
| You know how unusual that is? | ||
| Where a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk? | ||
| Watch what happens at a UFC main event. | ||
| When, say, someone wins, there's a few people who stick around, they want to see the post-fight speech, but most people are headed to the fucking door. | ||
| If Leon Edwards starts singing Sweet Caroline... | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
| I love Leon. | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
| Or something. | ||
| Something that people know. | ||
| There's a few of those songs that everybody knows. | ||
| I would love somebody with a Brazilian accent to sing Sweet Caroline. | ||
|
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Or our boy Romero to sing Sweet Caroline. | |
| Joey, to this day, that was one of my favorite podcasts of all time. | ||
| You translating for Yoel Romero? | ||
| He had me lost. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| My Spanish is fucking, you know, I gotta be around those people every day. | ||
| You were pretty good. | ||
| I know he was, you know, it's just what a character that guy is. | ||
| Bro, he just won. | ||
| He still hits me up. | ||
| He's a good, good guy. | ||
| He just beat Tiago Silva in PFL vs. | ||
| Bellator. | ||
| Yeah, that's us. | ||
|
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|
I love you. | |
| Oh! | ||
| He's the best, man. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| Imagine what would have happened if that guy got into MMA at 22. He didn't even get to the UFC until he was in his late 30s. | ||
| That guy would have killed everybody. | ||
| What is he now? | ||
| He's 46, 47. Yeah, he just beat Tiago Silva. | ||
| Tiago Silva's still legit. | ||
| Still fucking super dangerous. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Tiago Silva went to a split decision with Jon Jones. | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| Yoel Romero just beat him. | ||
| Make sure it's a split decision. | ||
| That might not be correct. | ||
| I want to be sure about that. | ||
| But it was a close fight. | ||
| Close fight. | ||
| He's a good fighter. | ||
| John fucked his knees up though. | ||
| John destroyed that dude's knees. | ||
| When is John coming back? | ||
| Well, John tore his pec muscle. | ||
| It's a big one. | ||
| Tore it off the bone in wrestling practice. | ||
| You could actually see it in the video. | ||
| He shoots and they're in the scramble and he just screams and falls back and grabs his chest. | ||
| Split decision, yeah. | ||
| So, on one judge's scorecard, Tiago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time. | ||
| Santos. | ||
| Excuse me, Tiago Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time. | ||
| And then Yoel just beat him. | ||
| I mean, I know it's been a slide since then. | ||
| What was that, 2017? | ||
| What year was that, Jamie? | ||
| 2016? | ||
| UFC 239. I don't know why it said the date. | ||
| It doesn't say the date on Wikipedia? | ||
| I'm looking at the main page. | ||
| There's all sorts of stats, but not the date of the fight. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| 19. Okay. | ||
| So that's not that long ago, man. | ||
| Five years ago? | ||
| Yoel is, I think he's at least 46. He turns 47 at the end of April. | ||
| He looks fucking great. | ||
| He looks fucking great. | ||
| He moves fucking great. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| He doesn't look slow. | ||
| He doesn't look old. | ||
| He's still on America's top team? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know who's this. | ||
| He always comes up with these Cuban scientists that come over from Cuba and stuff. | ||
| Someone's doing something right. | ||
| You know, they just popped one of the UFC guys, Walt Harris, four years. | ||
| Four years? | ||
| Four years. | ||
| And he's 40. So that's essentially a career ender, you know? | ||
| But when you're 40, dude, in your fighting, in your training every day, you're doing two-a-days and three-a-days, like, bro, your fucking, your testosterone gets beat down. | ||
| Your system gets beat down. | ||
| You're, you know, you're putting a tax on your system that's very hard to deal with at that age. | ||
|
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Really? | |
| Oh yeah! | ||
| It's a big difference. | ||
| You get a guy who's 22 years old and you put him through a fight camp, that's a guy who can recover. | ||
| As long as he's doing the right things, he's eating right, and he's sleeping right, and he's hydrating right, he can recover. | ||
| You can get through the camp. | ||
| It's hard as shit. | ||
| I mean, a real fight camp for MMA is one of the most difficult endeavors in all professional sports. | ||
| You have to fight five rounds, 25 minutes of actual fighting in a championship level fight. | ||
| And you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and you're getting taken down. | ||
| You're trying to get back up. | ||
| The exertion level is so insane. | ||
| When you watch like Cheeto versus Sugar Sean, at the end of that fight, even though Sugar Sean put on a clinic. | ||
| I mean, he put on a clinic. | ||
| At the end of that show, he was beat the fuck up. | ||
| He walked out of there with a foot cast, an arm cast. | ||
| He's limping through the hallway. | ||
| I mean, and he won. | ||
| And then Cheetos just busted up, man. | ||
| His whole face is busted up. | ||
| I mean, those guys are exhausted. | ||
| They went through hell. | ||
| And it took them 12 weeks to get into kind of peak physical condition just to be able to do that. | ||
| I mean, it's a crazy way to make a living, man. | ||
| And you're depending on all these things that break so easy. | ||
| All this stuff, you're going to use this to make your living and feed your family? | ||
| You have a wife and kids, and you're going to depend on your tissue and your bones to stay in place while you're smashing people in the face, and you're getting smashed, and you're getting your arm barred, and you're getting your leg ripped. | ||
| All this shit is happening to you. | ||
| Your neck's getting tweaked. | ||
| Your back falls down. | ||
| You're tweaking your lower back. | ||
| Your hamstrings fucked. | ||
| Your hip hurts now. | ||
| You're fighting hurt. | ||
| You're going to fight. | ||
| They all fight hurt. | ||
| They all fight hurt. | ||
| Like you said, 12 weeks and shit happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you've got to figure out a way to make it into the cage. | ||
| And so some of them, like Tom Aspinall, he didn't even, he fucked his rib up preparing for that fight with Sergei Pavlich. | ||
| So he couldn't even wrestle. | ||
| He's fighting this gigantic, terrifying Russian who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle. | ||
| He can't do the one thing that you would think he needs to do to that guy. | ||
| Pavlovich fucks everybody up. | ||
| Fucked Derrick Lewis upstanding. | ||
| He fucked a lot of people up. | ||
| Taitui Vasa. | ||
| He's fucking people up. | ||
| Beating them upstanding. | ||
| He's a dangerous cat. | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| And Aspinall couldn't even, you know, but he had to take that chance. | ||
| And it worked out for him. | ||
| You know, but then look, Islam Makachev, you know, when he had the rematch with Volkanovski, he's preparing for Charles Oliveira, Charles Oliveira gets cut, Makachev steps in, or Alexander steps in with fucking 11 days notice, and he rematches with a guy who's gone through a full camp? | ||
|
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It's crazy! | |
| That doesn't happen in boxing, ever. | ||
| If Tyson Fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight Anthony Joshua, they don't just call Usyk up and go, what are you doing in 10 days? | ||
| That never happens, ever. | ||
| Especially at a championship level. | ||
| Not just championship level, but the two guys who are widely considered to be the very best pound-for-pound fighters in the world. | ||
| Number one and number two up until the Ilya Teporia fight. | ||
| Number one and number two in most people's eyes. | ||
| Up until the second Makachev fight. | ||
| Before that fight it was Volkanovski was like there was the debate whether it was Makachev or Volkanovski was number one. | ||
| And so Makachev knocks him out with a head kick. | ||
| He's only had 10 days to prepare. | ||
| He doesn't look the same. | ||
| He gets rocked. | ||
| He gets beat up in that fight. | ||
| And then he goes and fights DePora and he gets knocked out. | ||
| So the whole world that you live in, you go from being the best pound-for-pound fighter on earth, the fucking man, to just months later, you're not even the best in your division anymore. | ||
| The best guy in your division just knocked you unconscious. | ||
| And now he has your belt and he's 10 years younger than you. | ||
| That dude is tight too. | ||
| He's fucking tight. | ||
| He's dangerous. | ||
| He's tight. | ||
| That shit is tight. | ||
| Everything is so sharp. | ||
| His technique is flawless. | ||
| Everything is flawless. | ||
| His boxing is so dangerous. | ||
| He's so dangerous everywhere. | ||
| He's dangerous with submissions. | ||
| He's dangerous with kicking. | ||
| His heart is dangerous. | ||
| He fought this dude, Jai Herbert, and he went up to 155 for that fight. | ||
| So he's a 45-pounder. | ||
| And he said, fuck it, I'll take a fight at 55. He gets head-kicked in the first round by... | ||
| Jai Herbert is a nasty stand-up fighter. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's real slick. | ||
| He's real good stand-up. | ||
| Like, real sharp stand-up. | ||
| And he caught Toporia with the perfect head kick. | ||
| And Toporia, he's in real trouble. | ||
| He got dropped. | ||
| And he scrambled, got a hold of him. | ||
| Next round, sent him into the Dark Lands. | ||
| Blasted him against the... | ||
| I mean, literally slept him. | ||
| Face-planted him. | ||
| And walk-off KO. He's an animal, dude. | ||
| He's a real problem because he's intelligent, he's dedicated, he's driven, he's got that kind of confidence that those championship guys have where they know they're the best even before they're the best. | ||
| He knew he was the best even before. | ||
| He's literally fighting the best guy ever in that division. | ||
| And he's telling everybody, I'm going to fuck this dude up inside of two rounds. | ||
| When is he fighting next? | ||
| Good question. | ||
| I don't know who he's fighting next. | ||
| So he wanted to go up and fight Islam Makachev at 155. And then that was talk. | ||
| People talked about that. | ||
| And then they were also talking about... | ||
| Sugar Sean said he wanted to go up and fight Toporia. | ||
| But Teporia said, no, I want you to fight Marab, who's also from Georgia, just like Ilya is born in Georgia. | ||
| And Marab's the rightful guy that should be fighting at 35, so that's going to happen there. | ||
| But if Sean gets past Marab, you could see a world where they can make a champion versus championship fight at 145. But Ilya Tepori essentially has kind of cleaned out the division already. | ||
| The real dangerous guys, like Josh Emmett, he pieced that dude up. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He pieced Josh Emmett up. | ||
| He beat his ass. | ||
| He's just so good, man. | ||
| And he's so, like, he fought different with Emmett because Emmett is terrifying. | ||
| That guy's just a behemoth. | ||
| At 145, that dude puts people to sleep. | ||
| He's that guy that knocked out Bryce Mitchell with that one punch. | ||
| That's right, that's right. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Josh Emmett is a terrifying striker. | ||
| He just throws everything into every punch. | ||
| And he knows all he has to do is hit you once. | ||
| And so that's how he fights. | ||
| And so Ilya just fought real clever. | ||
| Just moved in, moved back, moved in, moved back. | ||
| Didn't charge forward. | ||
| Just aware of the power until he could start piecing him up. | ||
| And then just started piecing him up. | ||
| Tactically, he's so smart. | ||
| You know, so it's not just his ability, his skill. | ||
| It's knowing when to apply it and how to adjust to different kinds of fighters. | ||
| But the Jai Herbert one might have been the most impressive one. | ||
| Dude, see if we can find that. | ||
| He got head kicked. | ||
| He gets hits with a switch high kick off the left leg right to the face, man. | ||
| I mean, like this. | ||
| He just dropped, which is 99 times out of 100. It's like the beginning of the end. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that left high kick. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| I mean, dude, he got fucking cracked on the chin, dude. | ||
| Look how perfect it is. | ||
| No, it's perfect. | ||
| I mean, it was a perfect high kick. | ||
| And Jai Herbert's dangerous. | ||
| Dangerous, too. | ||
| But he got lucky that he got a hold of a leg, you know, and also that he didn't try to stand up. | ||
| He actually got knocked down. | ||
| If he was standing up, Jai Herbert could have caught him with a bunch of other shots and put him away. | ||
| Because once you get hurt, if you can get a hold of someone, it gives you at least seconds to try to clear your head. | ||
| Because sometimes it takes your head like a few seconds to reboot. | ||
| And you can still hold on to someone while that's happening, and maybe you can survive. | ||
| So in his case, he did. | ||
| But now show the knockout. | ||
| Show Teporia knocking out Jai Herbert. | ||
| So in the second round, he just times him with his right hand from hell. | ||
| And it's a good fight up until then, man. | ||
| Jai Herbert is a tall... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's a tall 55. And you can see by his movement. | ||
| Like, very skillful striker. | ||
| Very dangerous. | ||
| And long. | ||
| So Ilya gets him up against the cage. | ||
| Look at the rip to the body. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| But look at the combination before that. | ||
| He sets it up by a left to the body. | ||
| Watch this left to the body. | ||
| Watch it. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| Bang! | ||
| Hard left hook to the body. | ||
| Right hand over the top. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Right to the liver. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And bro, that was a solid liver punch too, because you see him breathe out after he gets hit. | ||
| Show that right there again, right before. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| He gets hit with this left of the body. | ||
| Look at him breathe out. | ||
| See his mouth fill up? | ||
| That's like... | ||
| It's a perfect liver punch, and then a perfect right hand behind it. | ||
| So he might have been knocked out just from that liver punch, son. | ||
| He might have went down a half a second later from that liver punch. | ||
| That's how good that punch is. | ||
| And then he hits him with that right hand over the top. | ||
| Topori is terrifying. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| To go back to what you were talking about earlier with Yoel and this fucking guy I was watching this morning. | ||
| He's 39 years old. | ||
| Fucking LeBron. | ||
| LeBron looks awesome. | ||
| He looks awesome, man. | ||
| Did you see Chael Sonnen's been ranting and screaming? | ||
| He's on steroids! | ||
| Everyone knows he's on steroids! | ||
| That guy's 39. He's averaging 35 minutes a fucking game. | ||
| He's top five in the NBA in minutes. | ||
| Do they test NBA players? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
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|
I don't know. | |
| Jamie, what do they test them for? | ||
| Do they test them for testosterone replacement? | ||
| Alcohol. | ||
| No reefer. | ||
| Not reefer anymore. | ||
| No reefer, no. | ||
| Never. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| They won't have a league. | ||
| It's too good for... | ||
| They won't have a league. | ||
| It's the same reason why it's so good for pool. | ||
| It's got to be so good for basketball. | ||
| Puts you in that zone. | ||
| You just feel it. | ||
| You feel things more. | ||
| Anything with reefer puts you in that. | ||
| You know, the other night we had music on. | ||
| Led Zeppelin came on. | ||
| And I was sitting there and all of a sudden I went back and I'm like, to be honest here, this is the reason why I smoke pot. | ||
| That's the reason. | ||
| I would never have done a drug. | ||
| But I knew it was going to sound a lot better with that Rifa. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Isn't it crazy? | ||
| Food tastes better. | ||
|
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Basketball. | |
| Sex feels better. | ||
| Lifting weights with Rifa. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| You feel your muscles. | ||
|
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Oh, my God. | |
| Riding a bike with Rifa. | ||
| The only thing I don't do with Rifa is roll. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| You don't do jujitsu? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| No. | ||
| A lot of people do. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Including this guy. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
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|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| That donkey dude? | ||
| No. | ||
| I went to his seminar. | ||
| He was smoking. | ||
| Jeff? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was hilarious. | ||
| Jeff Glover. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, he's hilarious. | ||
| He's hilarious, dog. | ||
| Yeah, he's fucking good, too. | ||
| He's good, too. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| You know, that reefer shit, somebody mounted me once and I was high on an edible. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Time out. | ||
| Time out. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anything like that, riding. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| For riding, yeah. | ||
| Riding when you giggle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| But this, what I wanted to talk to you about was recuperation at that age. | ||
| Gotta be really smart. | ||
| Well, LeBron spends a lot of money. | ||
| He's like famous for spending money on his recovery, right? | ||
| Massages. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Cold plunges and saunas. | ||
| That dude does everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Gotta give it to him. | ||
| Well, you have to. | ||
| He's at the very top of his game and he's worth a billion dollars. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's a billion dollar property. | ||
| He's at the top of his fucking game. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| And he looks like a superhero. | ||
| I mean, LeBron looks like a superhero. | ||
| You look at him like, good lord. | ||
| Show a photo of him like his body. | ||
| Is there any shirtless photos of LeBron? | ||
| Let me take my pants off. | ||
| You don't know any. | ||
| You won't know this because it's basketball. | ||
| Dude, look at that. | ||
| And how tall is he? | ||
| 6'8", 7'8". | ||
| LeBron James' diet reveals he eats like shit, but trains. | ||
| I don't know what this is. | ||
| He eats a lot of candy, but that's when he was younger, too. | ||
|
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|
Now he's definitely on it. | |
| He's good, too, man. | ||
| He's also slimmed down from where he was. | ||
| Back when he was younger, his first five years in the league, they argued he could be up to 300 pounds. | ||
| So is this him now? | ||
| That's him now. | ||
| He's probably close to like 260. Okay, so he definitely looks slimmer in that picture than he did in the other picture where he was lifting weights. | ||
| But that was also right off, you know, right out of, in the gym. | ||
| It says that he appears to have lost 10 to 12 pounds, it said in that photo. | ||
| So yeah, you see that photo in the gym. | ||
| Still, shredded. | ||
| Looks like an MMA fighter. | ||
| He looks like he could be like a UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| He's shredded. | ||
| I got no problem with a professional athlete doing whatever he needs. | ||
| Yeah, well as long as they're not a fighter. | ||
| Because you're a professional. | ||
| The thing about fighters is... | ||
| No, I know that stuff. | ||
| I'm talking about like for recovery and all that stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| The new shit they're doing in training with people... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is just, you know, I go to basketball games, and I told you, I see those athletes, that Jason kid from fucking Boston, dog, when he goes to the basket, you're not stopping him. | ||
| It's unreal how quick he is. | ||
| You watch, and he's six foot six. | ||
| These guys are super fucking athletes. | ||
| Well, it's like everything else, Joey. | ||
| They get a chance to see the people before them, and then they get better. | ||
| They get better than those people. | ||
| Like, every sport, there's always gonna be the few outliers, like Muhammad Ali. | ||
| If you took Muhammad Ali from 1967 and brought him to the heavyweight division today, he'd be fucking people up. | ||
| They wouldn't know what to do with him. | ||
| There's so many fighters he would fuck up. | ||
| But he's just a complete outlier. | ||
| Like Michael Jordan, complete outlier. | ||
| Any generation you put him in, he's going to fuck people up. | ||
| Larry Bird, complete outlier. | ||
| Any generation he's going to score from the court. | ||
| But if you get the overall... | ||
| The athletes, like UFC today is the best example of it because it's one of the clearest. | ||
| You could go to 93, 2024, and you see this massive evolution. | ||
| Massive. | ||
| You see these people that are fighting on the undercards of these fight cards, like the UFC fight cards, the fight night cards, the smaller cards they do at the Apex Center. | ||
| You're seeing world championship caliber fighters from 10 years ago. | ||
| They would probably beat a lot of world champions, and this is their UFC debut. | ||
| That's how good these guys are. | ||
| They've evolved a lot. | ||
| Everything has evolved a lot. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing, the training, when you look at them. | ||
| Did you see this past fight night, this last weekend, with Rose Namajunas? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| In the undercard, this kid, Cameron Simon, who's like one of the best guys at 135, very slick striker, South African kid, like very tough, very good kid. | ||
| He fought this dude, Peyton Talbot, and I'd never seen this guy fight before. | ||
| This kid is a motherfucker dude. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's 25 years old. | ||
| He's fought like once, I think, in the UFC and once in the Contender Series. | ||
| And this is my first time watching him. | ||
| And I was like, Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| He's so fucking good. | ||
| Well, now they've been doing this since they're 12th. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Now they're doing this since they're 12, and they're dedicated to MMA. There's MMA classes. | ||
| See if you can find that knockout. | ||
| See if the... | ||
| find the knee he would hit him with in the first round. | ||
| Like, in the beginning of the fight, he was fucking him up. | ||
| I think everything has a window. | ||
| Like, that's what we were getting to. | ||
| Like, especially with the UFC, it's... | ||
| When you get to the UFC, you have to give yourself a window. | ||
| Because after a while, that's the thing about fighting. | ||
| It'll go on forever. | ||
| Yeah, there's very few guys that are like Jim Miller. | ||
| Jim Miller still fighting at a world-class level. | ||
| Brad Tavares could still knock you the fuck out. | ||
| Oh, Brad Tavares. | ||
| That's a strong move. | ||
| He just beat Chris Weidman. | ||
| I love Brad. | ||
| And he looked fantastic. | ||
| He looked fantastic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the leg kick. | ||
| He was kicking him. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kicking the shit out of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And just looked slick. | ||
| Looked very good. | ||
| I mean, these guys. | ||
| Very good with his stand-up. | ||
| But now you got these guys. | ||
| Remember, these guys got into it in 18 when they got out of college. | ||
| They were wrestlers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brad is young, man. | ||
| That's the thing you got to realize about Brad. | ||
| Brad was thrown to the lion's den when he was in his early, early 20s. | ||
| I think Brad's only... | ||
| Brad Tavares. | ||
| I think he's only 33. Yeah, he's a kid. | ||
| He's been around forever. | ||
| He fought Yoel back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, he's fought a lot of fucking people, man. | ||
| A lot of people, man. | ||
| So those guys, but those guys come one in a dozen. | ||
| You know, longevity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, Jim Miller's the most extreme example of it. | ||
| He fought in UFC 100, fought in UFC 200, and he's going to fight in UFC 300. Like, what the fuck, dude? | ||
| And he looks awesome. | ||
| And he still teaches? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, no, he doesn't do that anymore. | ||
| That's also what's helped him a lot. | ||
| He sold his gym. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was too much. | ||
| He explained it when he came on the podcast. | ||
| He's like, it's just too much work. | ||
| You're dealing with so many different things. | ||
| And so now that he could just, like, concentrate on just his camps and get ready, it's like, it's much better. | ||
| He probably still teaches some classes. | ||
| I think he enjoys teaching. | ||
| I think running the gym was the real problem. | ||
| It's a lot of work, man. | ||
| I think I'm correct. | ||
| A lot of come and go in jiu-jitsu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| A lot of come and go, man. | ||
| Also, you're dealing with personality issues, and if you run a business, you have to deal with people that are arguing with other people there, and you're like, oh, God. | ||
| And then this guy might be stealing money, or this guy might be doing something he's not supposed to be doing. | ||
| He said he was doing this, but he's doing that. | ||
| He's trying to cut corners. | ||
| I'm like, fuck. | ||
| And you have to deal with this and that and that and this. | ||
| The business should have to be that. | ||
| And these martial artists that open up these schools and open up like a chain of them. | ||
| And they're never at one of them. | ||
| You never know what's going on. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to really trust the people that are running that school for you. | ||
| They'd have to be like really well trained and a part of your family. | ||
| You know, you could pull it off. | ||
| Like the Machados have done that. | ||
| Machados have had... | ||
| There's various Machado satellite schools that are owned by Jean-Jacques Black Belts. | ||
| And they're always great. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| They're always great. | ||
| Jean-Jacques is on a different level out there. | ||
| And by me, I have the Gracies. | ||
| And they got it down to a science. | ||
| They really... | ||
| You know, I was talking to Rallo the other day. | ||
| And we were just talking. | ||
| I go, Rallo, think what's around me. | ||
| I got Tom. | ||
| I got the Silver Fox. | ||
| I got, what's his name, is an hour from me, Ricardo Almeida. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got all those guys right there. | ||
| We were talking about it. | ||
| He's like, you're in heaven there. | ||
| It's a great jujitsu environment. | ||
| It's a beautiful fucking, and it's all Henzo. | ||
| Henzo, all those black belts, a silver fox, fucking... | ||
| Henzo's got an empire. | ||
| A fucking empire. | ||
| He's got guys in LA. He's got guys here. | ||
| He's got guys everywhere. | ||
| He's got schools everywhere. | ||
| He's got the school in Brooklyn now. | ||
| They're all great. | ||
| They're all great. | ||
| You always hear great things about all of his schools. | ||
| Listen, my lunchtime guy, he just took second in the Pan Ams. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's the guy that teaches the lunchtime classes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| He's like a baby. | ||
| You throw like a baby. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| And he's changed the class, you know? | ||
| But what my point was that In two years that I've been there, the lunchtime class, it's a whole new set of people every 90 days. | ||
| You still got a couple brown belts that are older, they come, but it's a never-ending door. | ||
| Four people sign up, four people quit. | ||
| Three people, you know, it's one of those things. | ||
| And once you get the blue belt, they disappear. | ||
| Some of them do, yeah. | ||
| No, a high percentage of it. | ||
| Yeah, what is the number of people that go past Blue Belt? | ||
| It seems like they get happy that they have a little something, a little kind of a belt, and then they keep going. | ||
| It's hard though. | ||
| You get injured. | ||
| And you have to learn how to roll correctly. | ||
| You gotta tap. | ||
| Tapping's important. | ||
| You gotta tap to save your body. | ||
| Too many people fight out of shit that you shouldn't fight out of. | ||
| Just learn how to not be in there. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| So this is the dude. | ||
| So Cameron Simon, first of all, a high-level contender. | ||
| This is the end of the fight. | ||
| He's fucking him up. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| But you gotta see, like, the stand-up before that, like, in the first round is some of the most impressive shit. | ||
| I mean, he's just, he moves so good, man. | ||
| And he's got high power. | ||
| Look at this, that knee right there. | ||
| Back it up a little bit before that. | ||
| So there's a combination he catches them with. | ||
| And it's just the timing. | ||
| Like, look at the timing on this knee. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And if you hear it, it sounds like a baseball bat hitting a coconut. | ||
| I mean, it's a perfectly timed knee. | ||
| And he was just so fucking devastating. | ||
| And just looked like he was having fun in there. | ||
| And this kid's 25 years old, right? | ||
| So this kid, when you look at him, he's got this very interesting personality. | ||
| You hear him talking like, okay, you're looking at a future superstar. | ||
| And there's a lot of these guys. | ||
| Look at that left hook. | ||
| Tight, tight left hook. | ||
| There's a lot of these guys right now. | ||
| There's so many people coming up right now that are so high level. | ||
| Like one, two fights into the UFC. You look at him like, good lord, that's a world championship caliber fighter. | ||
| What a fucking hard career, though. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Oh, it's the hardest. | ||
| Football. | ||
| Last night, Tuesday night, some kid came up to me with a Houston shirt at the club, and he had number 34. Whatever. | ||
| Lawrence. | ||
| The guy, Lawrence Campbell. | ||
| Earl Campbell. | ||
| And I'm thinking about him. | ||
| He's in a fucking wheelchair. | ||
| You know, from all that running, they didn't have the technology we have now. | ||
| You know, to turn things around. | ||
| Hips and knees. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's a fucking nightmare. | ||
| But now we're learning. | ||
| You know, obviously over time and Miss Patrick studies and shit like that, we've learned more about it. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu for me at 61, So I go to class. | ||
| I do all the drills. | ||
| I do the warm-up. | ||
| When it comes time to roll, I look around. | ||
| I pick and choose. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I know what I'm there for. | ||
| I'm not there to go to a competition. | ||
| I'm out there to be a world fighter. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know why I go to jiu-jitsu? | ||
| For the social. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love going in, getting sweaty. | ||
| I get beat up nine out of ten times. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it doesn't matter to me. | ||
| That's comedy. | ||
| You get beat up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you get better. | ||
| You learn how to outlast the show. | ||
| It's good for you, too. | ||
| It's good for fucking an older person, but you have to know what you're going in there for. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're not going in there to fucking tap the blue belt or the purple belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're going in there to defend yourself. | ||
| I've watched all... | ||
| Hickson is my boy. | ||
| You know, and I watch all his tapes and shit. | ||
| He does a thing about if you're thinking about going into the gym later on, this is my advice. | ||
| And I took it like a tea. | ||
| Pick two days. | ||
| Pick two days a week and go. | ||
| Stick to those two days. | ||
| I do a core class every week and I do a blue belt class every week. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I lift weights, I ride the bike, I do all the other shit. | ||
| I box in my garage, you know? | ||
| But I enjoy it. | ||
| The process is great, Joe. | ||
| I'm not good at it. | ||
| But I go. | ||
| And some days you get a good fucking role and some days you get beat up. | ||
| But at least you're getting exercise. | ||
| I'm sweating. | ||
| I'm talking to guys. | ||
| Fun thing to do. | ||
| You're staying a little younger because you're talking to younger guys. | ||
| These guys are all cops. | ||
| Well, it's also you're in the moment. | ||
| Like, when you're doing jiu-jitsu, you're literally trying to defend your life. | ||
| And as they're choking me, I'm like, you cocksuckers. | ||
| I yell at them and shit, and they giggle. | ||
| The other day, some guy had my back, a brother. | ||
| I love this guy. | ||
| And I'm looking, and he's choking me, and I'm trying to defend the choke, and I'm trying to get him down. | ||
| And all of a sudden, I go, for a brother, you got skinny feet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, motherfucker. | |
| I fuck with all of them, yeah. | ||
| As soon as they're going to submit me, I crack a joke out. | ||
| You start making jokes. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| I'm an old man. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Get off me, you fuck. | ||
| Jesus, Joey. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And that's what it's about. | ||
| It's about a bunch of guys, a lot of older guys in the daytime. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| There's three or four guys older than me. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| There's a 67-year-old. | ||
| He's nasty, Joe. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But he's a black belt in Taekwondo. | ||
| He had a Taekwondo school for all those years. | ||
| But there's a couple older guys. | ||
| There's a guy that looks just like fuck and the guy that invented electricity. | ||
| Edison? | ||
| Edison. | ||
| That's what they call him when he comes in. | ||
| He finally got a haircut so he don't look all fucked up no more. | ||
| But I fuck around with him on Mondays. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's a Jeet Kune Do guy. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He's done Jeet Kune Do. | ||
| You know how these old guys are fucking great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's social. | ||
| A lot of cops, you know? | ||
| It's a fun thing to do, too. | ||
| It's very fucking fun. | ||
| And it's also one of those things that while you're doing it, you can't think about anything else because it's so difficult to do. | ||
| And I think those things are good for your brain. | ||
| Doug, when you're having a rough day, like the phone's ringing, and you're like, you know what? | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| We want this by 1. This was due at 2.30. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'm going to jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't bother me. | ||
| I don't even bring my phone upstairs. | ||
| Also, it's so much harder than anything else you're going to do. | ||
| That everything else just seems easier. | ||
| I look at that whoop watch, and I can't believe I burned like 400 calories in the ball class. | ||
| Forget the blue belt class. | ||
| You wear a whoop while you do jujitsu? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you going to scratch people with that thing? | ||
| No, it's hidden under here. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's hidden. | ||
| You can put it on your arm. | ||
| Oh, you can put an arm one on, right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can put the arm one on. | |
| You can put the chest one on, you know. | ||
| And I see the people that are getting hurt. | ||
| It's the 30-year-olds that go in there to kill themselves. | ||
| They're starting from their feet. | ||
| You know, fuck all that shit. | ||
| My judo days are over. | ||
| You ain't throwing me. | ||
| It's a good way to hurt your knees. | ||
| And I'm not going to grab you either. | ||
| So, that's it. | ||
| You pass the guard. | ||
| You know, you do little things. | ||
| You fucking De La Jiva. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, shit like that. | |
| And that's it, man. | ||
| You go home. | ||
| I'm not looking to be a killer. | ||
| I'm not looking to be a bodyguard. | ||
| I'm just looking to get exercise. | ||
| How much are you getting up on stage in Jersey? | ||
| Twice a week. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Not good enough. | ||
| Yeah, just to keep the dust off it. | ||
| But it's not good enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not good enough at all. | ||
| I write a lot more. | ||
| I noticed that this last year I've been giving away jokes. | ||
| I just talk to comics and go take this because I'm not going to use it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, I just think of shit and I write it down. | ||
| It's fun, man. | ||
| I forgot how much fun it is to write. | ||
| It's real fun, but you've got to be in a place where you can do it all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| And that's the beautiful thing about here. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| No, you got, this is, listen, this is the best scene in the country. | ||
| They're starting to open up manager's office here and fucking agencies. | ||
| I knew you were telling me that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| This is gonna be a fucking utopia in a year. | ||
| Those big cities are going to be forgotten about for comedy. | ||
| Yeah, they're going to be doing comedy, but not like you're doing it down here. | ||
| Not with eight clubs around you and 16 one-nighters. | ||
| It's also, it's just exciting because it's a new thing. | ||
| Like, there was never a scene like this here before. | ||
| So now the scene's here, and so many great comics are here, and it's a new thing. | ||
| Guys are getting better, too. | ||
| They're getting better. | ||
| Did you see Derek last night? | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| Derek Poston? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did you see Ahsan? | ||
| Ahsan's improved. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Holy fuck! | ||
| Bro. | ||
| He got a lot better. | ||
| He got a lot better. | ||
| He's confident, writes all the time, works hard. | ||
| He was on the core crew in the workout crew. | ||
| He's one of the cores. | ||
| He's always there. | ||
| Where do you have him? | ||
| Right here, in the gym. | ||
| And what time do they come? | ||
| We do it when, I don't want to say on the air, but we do it. | ||
| You do it every day? | ||
| No. | ||
| Depends. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Different days. | ||
| We took some time off. | ||
| And you got them doing kettlebells? | ||
| I got them doing all kinds of stuff. | ||
| Pushing the sled, hitting the bags. | ||
| I got them doing Tabatas. | ||
| I do intervals on the bag. | ||
| I explain intervals from... | ||
| Tabata intervals are 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest. | ||
| So you do a cycle of eight. | ||
| In a row? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| So I give them gloves. | ||
| And I say, don't try to be a hero. | ||
| This is what I want you to do. | ||
| This is how you throw a left hand. | ||
| This is how you throw a right hand. | ||
| I want to see you hit the bag, just like this. | ||
| You're not going to try to do it hard. | ||
| I just want you to do it constantly. | ||
| And most of them have hit a bag or something before a little bit. | ||
| And so I say, don't worry about hitting it hard. | ||
| I just want you to hit it and don't hurt yourself. | ||
| And you're going to do it for 20 seconds at a pretty fast clip. | ||
| And then you're going to rest for 10 and do 20 seconds, rest for 10 and do that for a cycle of eight. | ||
| That's good for cardio, right? | ||
| Because they do it on the bike. | ||
| They do it on the bike. | ||
| It's great for cardio. | ||
| It's one of the best ways to develop cardio is the Tabata interval for whatever reason. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| So we did that at the end. | ||
| So we did the kettlebell workout, and then we do the sled, and then we hit the back. | ||
| I was putting them through real workouts, and then we do sauna and cold plunge. | ||
| You know, but that all goes with being a good comic. | ||
| It's work. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| That whole workout thing. | ||
| When I wasn't doing it, you're not that good. | ||
| It's work, and it makes you feel better about yourself. | ||
| And it makes you feel better. | ||
| It makes your body feel better. | ||
| It makes your brain feel better. | ||
| It also makes you feel like you're not lazy and stagnant. | ||
| Like there's been times where I get up and for whatever reason I'm just not feeling it and I fuck off and I look at my phone and I make some phone calls and then the next thing you know I'm not getting in the cold plunge the next you know I'm not going to work and the day or I'm not going to work out before work and the days that I realize I'm doing that like stop put your phone down get in the water were the days that I was happier I always felt better if I did what I needed to do. | ||
| Because then I felt like I've already done the thing that was the hardest thing to do today. | ||
| That's how I feel, yeah. | ||
| So now I'm on a good path. | ||
| Today's on a good path. | ||
| You see what happens to me when I eat? | ||
| I gotta do everything early. | ||
| My world is early. | ||
| Early's good though. | ||
| I'm an early guy. | ||
| It's good getting it out of the way. | ||
| It also sets up the rest of your day. | ||
| Get that really physically difficult thing done early and then it sets up the rest of your day. | ||
| But the thing is, like, what I'm trying to say is, like, I'm not immune to those feelings of laziness and those feelings of procrastination. | ||
| You know, and there's a handful of days over the last few years that I've done nothing and should have, should have worked out, and I just fucked off too much, and I just did wind up doing it. | ||
| And in my mind, I was like, eh, you work out basically every day. | ||
| Like, take a day off, pussy. | ||
| But then I don't feel that good. | ||
| Then the rest of the day, I'm like, why did I do that? | ||
| Now I feel stupid. | ||
| Now I feel like I'm lazy or I'm not centered. | ||
| You know, I need to do something. | ||
| I need to do something. | ||
| For my brain as much as for my body, I need to do something every day. | ||
| I haven't slept while I'm here, you know. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Five hours, six hours. | ||
| Last night I went to bed at fucking 2. It's so fun. | ||
| We're having so much fun. | ||
| And I got up at 4.40. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck, Joey? | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| I stayed up till about 6. And I hit the crib again and I got up at fucking 8 to call my daughter. | ||
| And I got up like at 9. 8.30. | ||
| I was up. | ||
| I get dressed, I roll a joint, I brush my teeth, and I fucking get out of the house. | ||
| I go for a nice walk in Austin. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You've been enjoying it here? | ||
| Very much so. | ||
| I'm looking at it. | ||
| It's a different look. | ||
| It looks completely different. | ||
| Just come down every now and again. | ||
| I am. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Once a month. | ||
| Coming down next month. | ||
| A few days. | ||
| And I need two tickets for that 420 show for the Alito boys. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Look, I went to a restaurant I want to tell you about. | ||
| I got a dish I've been dying to tell you. | ||
| It's called Char and Red Bank. | ||
| I told you, I got two chefs at the jiu-jitsu school. | ||
| I got your boy from Steakhouse 57, the head chef there. | ||
| And I got the other, this guy from Char. | ||
| And he kept telling me, come on, come on. | ||
| It's in Red Bank, you know? | ||
| 30 minutes, I don't have babysitters. | ||
| I went, Good Friday. | ||
| Big fucking mistake. | ||
| It's a steakhouse. | ||
| And I told him. | ||
| And he goes, I get it. | ||
| He goes, I'm going to hook you up. | ||
| This motherfucker gave me yellow fin tacos. | ||
| Right, because you're not supposed to eat meat on Friday. | ||
| I don't give nothing up for Lent, but I just won't eat meat, which is easy for me. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| And I had the lobster dumplings. | ||
| And then he sent over to my wife, who doesn't give a fuck about Catholicism. | ||
| So she ordered. | ||
| But we ate so many appetizers. | ||
| She's like, Joey, I can't eat this dog. | ||
| She ordered short rib over gnocchi with a garlic sauce. | ||
| And the gnocchi just melted in your mouth. | ||
| It was tiny homemade gnocchi. | ||
| I didn't eat it that night. | ||
| I got high the next day. | ||
| And I saw it was in the refrigerator. | ||
| And I tasted it. | ||
| Joe Rogan. | ||
| I had orgasms come out of every hole in my fucking body. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| I called him and he goes, Joey, if you want, I'll stop by. | ||
| I live right around the corner. | ||
| I'm like, don't you fucking dare. | ||
| I don't want that shit around me every... | ||
| It was so fucking good, man. | ||
| It was so fucking good. | ||
| That Il Nito's amazing. | ||
| There's something about Jersey Italian food. | ||
| It's on another level. | ||
| It's very difficult to get stuff like that out here. | ||
| I can't wait for Sunday. | ||
| To come home? | ||
| No, I'm coming home tomorrow, but Sunday, I go to Easter Sunday. | ||
| And I go to Osteria, they got this fucking, they make a sundae sauce. | ||
| $33. | ||
| Dog, $33. | ||
| A meatball this big, they give you a fucking pork rib that's in the sauce, a big stick, like a big pork rib. | ||
| They give you a brazole and a big sausage for $33. | ||
| I used to split it with my daughter. | ||
| I can't eat that whole fucking thing. | ||
| The meatball's to die for. | ||
| It's to fucking die for. | ||
| He gets pissed at me. | ||
| He's like, yeah. | ||
| You tell people about the meatball, nobody's gonna spend money on the big shit. | ||
| They come in here for the sundae sauce. | ||
| It's fucking, you know, who makes sundae sauce, Joe? | ||
| Well, that was always an Italian thing. | ||
| I don't have time. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how to make it. | ||
| And the people, you know, they make it. | ||
| But this is no drama. | ||
| You just go down there. | ||
| Oh, I love all that shit. | ||
| Like now, I just split a plate now. | ||
| I can't eat the whole thing no more. | ||
| Those days are gone. | ||
| The meatball's so fucking good though, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, there's not a lot... | ||
| I mean, I haven't eaten at too many Italian places out here. | ||
| But there's... | ||
| I'm sure there's a bunch. | ||
| How you been to Sammy's? | ||
| I heard Sammy's is great. | ||
| You ever been there? | ||
| That's the spot that people keep talking about. | ||
| There's just some spot. | ||
| There's a place in fucking Secaucus or Rutherford. | ||
| It's owned by Special. | ||
| You eat this meatball, your heart will stop. | ||
| It's that fucking good. | ||
| But El Nido got some good Wyoming meatballs too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The good ones. | ||
| Well, let's let that old, immigrant-style, East Coast, Jersey Italian food. | ||
| Well, lamb, they put everything in there. | ||
| Don't they? | ||
| Veal and the fucking meatballs. | ||
| Especially the sundae sauce, when you'd see the oils bubbling up on the surface of the pot, and the grandmother would be stirring it with a wooden spoon. | ||
| My grandmother did. | ||
| Yeah, my grandmother was the big cook. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| My grandmother could cook. | ||
| She'd make homemade pasta, she'd have the kitchen table, flour out there, rolling everything, making it with a roller, cranking the pasta through the machine. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| How's a person supposed to eat well and healthy when that's available? | ||
| Oh, that's Osteria, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That looks pretty fucking good, Joey. | ||
| Doug, they're not fucking around. | ||
| No. | ||
| But you guys aren't eating. | ||
| I gotta give credit what credit is due. | ||
| Those fucking tacos do your night. | ||
| And that's just from the truck on the street? | ||
| That's the truck on the street. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| I can't get that in Jersey. | ||
| Mexican food is god-awful. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I even told one of the waitresses we were talking, I go, the Mexican food's terrible. | ||
| I go, the refried beans look like they were made from, you know, like a powder, like a mashed potato. | ||
| And the kid goes, they got those. | ||
| I go, I knew they were fucking powdered refried beans. | ||
| They have powdered refried beans? | ||
| The Mexican food is horrible. | ||
| I don't know where these Mexicans came from. | ||
| They're not apocalyptos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fucking food is fucking terrible. | |
| That's the only thing I miss about LA. That and that fucking sushi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I miss the fucking albacore plate with the garlic on top and the onions. | ||
| LA's got, well, had good food, but goddamn they killed so many restaurants. | ||
| I didn't even know the sushi place I was going to is dead. | ||
| Sushi Dan is dead. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them went under. | ||
| But bro, what you've done down here is fucking, I gotta commend you, man. | ||
| That's a great club. | ||
| Like I told you, I was blown away the first night. | ||
| It's been pretty fun. | ||
| And it's a year now. | ||
| It's crazy as it seems. | ||
| It's already open a year. | ||
| And everybody's come through here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody's come through here. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's been crazy. | ||
| It's been awesome. | ||
| You did good, brother. | ||
| And we're just getting started. | ||
| And we're just getting started. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's been beautiful having you down here, too. | ||
| It's been a lot of fun. | ||
| Oh, just to see what you're doing and to see the club. | ||
| There's so much enthusiasm at that club. | ||
| You know, when you walk in, people are happy. | ||
| Like I told you, I love to spectate. | ||
| I'm a spectator, bro. | ||
| I love to sit, smoke pot, and watch. | ||
| Don't say a fucking word. | ||
| And what I watched, the way the people were interacting with the people coming in and everything, it was beautiful. | ||
| I was like, there's not a prick in here. | ||
| You don't feel like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you feel definitely safe in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking cops. | ||
| Everybody's in there. | ||
| So it's great. | ||
| It's a great thing, man. | ||
| And it's family. | ||
| You can feel it in the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what's... | ||
| There's no hang. | ||
| There's a hang, but there's no hang. | ||
| And that hang is perfect there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| When that green room... | ||
| Dog, when I took my clothes off the first night, that clothes smelled so bad... | ||
| From all cigarettes? | ||
| Cigar, cigarettes, acid, speed, fucking... | ||
| Got any of that acid around here? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't have none? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yes, you do. | ||
| No. | ||
| You hear that from me? | ||
| No, I wouldn't do that to you. | ||
| What about... | ||
| We got no smelling salts in Joey today? | ||
| You didn't give me none. | ||
| We always have smelling salts. | ||
| That fucking... | ||
| That Zen fucked me up before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That 12 milligram? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's six. | ||
| But yeah, you took it right after we ate and you were like... | ||
| No, I was eating... | ||
| That's when I swallowed the first one at the restaurant. | ||
| On top of the sushi, so that motherfucker. | ||
| And then I had another one in my pocket. | ||
| Because the Zinz's, when you take one, sometimes you take two. | ||
| Right, they stick together. | ||
| Yeah, don't swallow them. | ||
| That's my advice to you. | ||
| Well, I've already swallowed like six of them, so it's too fucking late. | ||
| Well, no more. | ||
| Don't swallow anymore. | ||
| No, I won't swallow no more, but I gotta get some more of these zins, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| I love you to death, man. | ||
| Thank you for having me down here. | ||
| Family is family. | ||
| Comedy family is comedy family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what these motherfuckers will never, ever understand. | ||
| The people that don't get it will not get that, because they haven't experienced it. | ||
| But we're lucky. | ||
| To cheer for each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To fucking, you know, I'm so happy for Tony and The Garden. | ||
| I'm so happy for Red Band, you know? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And that's what being a comic is about, is also fucking giving love to these people and going, you know what? | ||
| You're doing good, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The girls, I love the girls. | ||
| You know, Sarah's down there this week. | ||
| She was happy to see me. | ||
| I was happy to see her. | ||
| You know, Kim's coming tonight. | ||
| So, Eleanor. | ||
| Yeah, it's been great having Eleanor. | ||
| Steve Simone. | ||
| Fucking Ron White to see him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brian Simpson just released his Netflix special. | |
| Donnell was here. | ||
| Yeah, it's been amazing. | ||
| It's been amazing. | ||
| It's a great town now. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| It's really popping. | ||
| I love you too, brother. | ||
| I miss you like a motherfucker. | ||
| I miss you too, but we'll do this more often. | ||
| I'll come down here next month, and then I'll come down here in May. | ||
| Then I get too hot for Uncle Joe. | ||
| Okay, don't worry about it. | ||
| We'll take a couple months off. | ||
| And then by September, I think I can do my own residency with my own 45 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's go. | |
| Let's go, Joey. | ||
| That's my plan. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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