Nov. 30, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:27:49
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, hi. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| What's up, ladies? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi, hi, hi. | |
| Welcome to town. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Like, legit, you guys are here now. | ||
| We're here now. | ||
| How's it feel? | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| Have you said y'all yet? | ||
| Y'all? | ||
| I've been saying y'all. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm from Florida. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Florida's weird. | ||
| Y'all and Saul. | ||
| It's kind of southern, but it's not really. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like S-A-W? Saul? | ||
| What? | ||
| I saw him. | ||
| Yeah, I saw him over there. | ||
| No! | ||
| I saw him. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Saw him? | ||
| I saw him. | ||
| Are you saying solemn? | ||
| I saw him. | ||
| But you're saying it all together. | ||
| Like, solemn. | ||
| Yeah, like I saw him over there. | ||
| What a solemn moment. | ||
| No, like I saw him. | ||
| Post 9-11. | ||
| Like, oh shit, he went over there. | ||
| I just saw him. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Texas, they like to say, especially. | ||
| Especially? | ||
| Especially. | ||
| Don't love that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people, well, especially. | ||
| They say that. | ||
| Especially. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, hey, hey. | |
| That's not the word. | ||
| Don't say it like that. | ||
| I like the video that's going viral right now with the redneck dude, and he goes, I don't care what you call me, but don't call me that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does he say? | |
| He said, you can call me anything you want, but don't call me that. | ||
| Don't call him what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm guessing the N word. | ||
| And I'm guessing gay. | ||
| I'm guessing gay. | ||
| But isn't there like, that was a thing about that movie, that show Ozark. | ||
| There's a distinction between a redneck and a hillbilly. | ||
| There he is! | ||
| Oh. | ||
| When you're a big guy and someone calls you hoss, bubba, or big boy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| That's a real guy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's a real guy. | ||
| But remember in the movie, did you guys watch Ozark? | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| That Netflix show? | ||
| I watched a little bit of it. | ||
| Is that with Jason Bateman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I did watch a lot of it. | ||
| Fucking great series. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is good. | |
| It's fucking great. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But there's this really wild lady who's a drug smuggler. | ||
| That older lady. | ||
| And she kills this dude because he calls her either a redneck or a hillbilly. | ||
| I forget which one it was. | ||
| They had this giant drug deal with the cartel. | ||
| And they're about to set this drug deal. | ||
| And the dude said something about them being hillbillies. | ||
| And so she blows his fucking brains out with a shotgun. | ||
| It's like, What the fuck? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That she was so mad at that word. | ||
| That's a white slur. | ||
| It's either we're rednecks and we're not hillbillies or we're hillbillies, not rednecks. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| I mean, they both seem like the same to me. | ||
| Hillbilly's more insulting. | ||
| I'll tell you that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah, it's a way to call a redneck like uneducated and incest, pretty much. | ||
| It's like there's rednecks, but then if you say like hillbilly, it's like a little more. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| In Florida, you would say hillbilly and more insulting. | ||
| Like you fucking hillbilly. | ||
| Interesting, because a lot of guys will call themselves hillbillies and be proud of it, though. | ||
| Yeah, but it's more like a self-deprecating thing, like a joke at that point. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm a valley girl. | ||
| I don't know much about hillbilly redneck clothes. | ||
| I'm talking out of my ass, too. | ||
| I'm talking out of my ass. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I didn't even know until that show that there was an issue with one of those words. | ||
| I don't even know which one that really upsets them. | ||
| But that she was willing to shoot this guy and fuck up this whole drug deal. | ||
| I don't think it's that serious, but... | ||
| It is with her. | ||
| With her it is, yeah. | ||
| But she has other issues. | ||
| I believe that lady's real. | ||
| That lady, whoever that actress is, who's that woman who played that role? | ||
| I was just looking it up. | ||
| I had her name. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I love that curly head. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Crazy bitch. | ||
| That lady is a beast. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I remember now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's a beast. | |
| She's so good in that role. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You believe every second of every word that comes out of her mouth. | ||
| That is that lady. | ||
| That's a real crazy murder and drug dealer lady. | ||
| She shot a guy in the dick. | ||
| I want to act so bad. | ||
| That looks so fun. | ||
| That does look so fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Acting, so fun. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You love it? | |
| We love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| What parts do you love? | ||
| I hate to say this. | ||
| Sometimes I like it more than stand up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| I just think it's just different. | ||
| They're just different. | ||
| I like being someone else other than myself and becoming a different character and actually doing that. | ||
| I used to do it a lot before I started stand-up and then I fell in love with stand-up and now I'm just like stand-up, stand-up, stand-up. | ||
| I kind of feel the exact opposite. | ||
| I like finding a character and finding myself in them. | ||
| Instead of not being myself, I like finding a character and then seeing how I would be them. | ||
| And putting myself in their shoes. | ||
| I love that because then I get to see different perspectives. | ||
| I have a therapist and he says that I see in black and white. | ||
| It's either this or that and there's no in between. | ||
| Cognitive distortions. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| And so when I'm acting, it forces me to have perspective for others. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Because you're pretending to be a person, so you're thinking like a person like that would think. | ||
| When normally I wouldn't even consider it. | ||
| I would be just like, this is the way it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So it really opens up a whole, it makes me almost more empathetic and everything. | ||
| It makes me, yeah. | ||
| So I really like it. | ||
| Because there is something about being able to think in gray. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So yeah, it's really fun. | ||
| I didn't ever think I would like it, but I fucking love it. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| Who doesn't put their phone on do not disturb? | ||
| Dude, I gotta tell you, I don't know who this is. | ||
| It's not a number, but the caller ID says try to judge me incorporated. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Wait, that's so weird. | ||
| That's who's calling him? | ||
| We should screenshot that. | ||
| I am going to. | ||
| That used to be, when I was in my 20s, I tried to start a website called trytojudgeme.com with Mel. | ||
| It's you calling me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's so weird. | ||
| Yeah, whoever, don't get involved with them. | ||
| - No. - Try to judge me. | ||
| - But two was a two. | ||
| - Starting out at 10. | ||
| Like, whoa, what do we do? | ||
| You're just calling me. | ||
| - Are we in a fight already? | ||
| Whoever this is. - Their whole name is an argument. | ||
|
unidentified
|
- Yeah. | |
| - Right away. | ||
| - Bad energy as soon as you read it. | ||
| I don't know who that is, but don't call me back. - How many scams do you get on your phone every day? | ||
| - A lot. | ||
| Yeah, how do they get numbers? | ||
| Sometimes they almost trick me. | ||
| They're like, you missed your package, clip this link, and I order so much shit, and I'm like, oh no! | ||
| They almost get me sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, there's so many. | ||
| There's new ones. | ||
| I got an alert from American Express that says, your phone number was leaked on the dark web. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And I was like, that sounds really bad. | ||
| So I called them, and they were like, yeah, sometimes that happens. | ||
| If you get a lot of scam calls, you might have to change your number. | ||
| I'm like, who's leaking my number on the fuck? | ||
| I need to change my number. | ||
| My number's leaked right now. | ||
| Currently, and I just haven't because it's a pain in the ass. | ||
| Do you think we're ever going to get to a point where numbers are literally going to be like Instagram DMs? | ||
| Like everyone's just going to be able to get your number? | ||
| For me, it doesn't really make a difference, right? | ||
| Like if someone has your number versus having access to your DMs, no. | ||
| Can't you just block them? | ||
| Yeah, you definitely could block them, but then they could start a new account. | ||
| There's something about having my number that seems a little more threatening than someone just having my... | ||
| It definitely is, but what I'm saying is when you think about it, it's kind of the same. | ||
| Yeah, when you think about it, that's what's weird. | ||
| If you're responding and you have your announcements turned on, your notifications turned on, those little DMs are going to show up on your phone just like a text would. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what are we doing? | ||
| They can't actually call you up, but they can. | ||
| A friend of mine called me through Instagram. | ||
| That's the scariest. | ||
| I go, what is this? | ||
| How are you doing this? | ||
| He's like, dude, you can call people from Instagram. | ||
| Dude, you know what I stopped doing? | ||
| I went live one time and Instagram had requests where people can join your live. | ||
| I'm like, this might be fun taking in calls. | ||
| Nightmare. | ||
| And I had like a thousand people and that shit and I answer it and this dude just started stripping as quick as he could. | ||
| On the live. | ||
| And I was screaming. | ||
| I didn't know what to do. | ||
| Everybody was like, leave it on! | ||
| Like, pressuring me to leave it on. | ||
| I didn't want to make it not entertaining. | ||
| It was a lot. | ||
| And that guy just was trying to jerk off as quick as he could on live. | ||
| And I was like, whoa! | ||
| That sounds Scary. | ||
| So yeah, there's a whole world. | ||
| They can get into your life via Instagram, too. | ||
| They'll find a way to show you their dicks. | ||
| Imagine being a dude that just sprints to jerk off the moment people are staring at them. | ||
| So horny. | ||
| It's my chance! | ||
| You know what? | ||
| If you're that horny, sprint to jerk off. | ||
| Do what you need to do to not shoot up a school. | ||
| I don't know what to tell you. | ||
| I don't think it's horny people shooting up those schools. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I think it's super depressed people. | ||
| But a little horny, too. | ||
| Why horny? | ||
| Because they're probably... | ||
| Because if you just came... | ||
| If you're having regular sex, you're less depressed. | ||
| If you just came, you're less likely... | ||
| Like, right after... | ||
| You post not clarity. | ||
| No one's gonna shoot up a school right after they just jizzed. | ||
| Think of the children. | ||
| Well, that's probably also part of the depression, is that they're not getting any affection. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Hug your local incel. | ||
| There's some broken humans out there. | ||
| There's just a lot of people that are lonely. | ||
| And they're medicated. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| You know about broken people. | ||
| When you opened for Joey. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know this story? | ||
| How I got my... | ||
| Blue check mark. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| You know how I got verified on Instagram? | ||
| How? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I've been trying to get verified on Instagram for like 10 years. | ||
| You send in a stupid fucking thing and you send in the articles that you've been mentioned in and they would always ignore it. | ||
| And then last year in November... | ||
| It was October. | ||
| We opened for Joey at Sony Hall. | ||
| At Broadway. | ||
| Sold out show. | ||
| We were so excited. | ||
| I had the best set. | ||
| I just had one of the best sets of my life in this sold-out theater. | ||
| Everyone's like, whoa! | ||
| Literally standing ovation, right? | ||
| I get off stage. | ||
| I'm going to get my camera that's on a tripod in the back. | ||
| And during the chaos, people being like, great job! | ||
| You have to walk past people to walk out. | ||
| And some dude pokes my vagina. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did hear about this. | |
| Did you hear this story? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he does that. | ||
| But then when I turn around to see who does it, He acts like he's blind and disabled. | ||
| So then immediately I'm like kind of just like my adrenaline's pumping just from the set itself and then that just happened and then I see that it's a blind person so I'm just like overwhelmed and then people are trying to like say hi and you know whatever after my set so I go to sit with Sarah and I go Sarah like some blind dude just like accidentally poked me in the vagina and she goes you got assaulted. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| A blind guy touched you in the pussy. | ||
| She brings me down to reality where I'm like, I have like a moment like That's So Raven where I go like, and I go like, I got touched. | ||
| And it turns into like a whole thing. | ||
| Oh God. | ||
| Because now I'm like kind of pissed that I even let it... | ||
| Is the blind guy walking around still? | ||
| This story gets crazier, Joe. | ||
| So now Joey's on stage. | ||
| So I'm like, I have an hour to find this guy. | ||
| He came for Joey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's people in headsets. | |
| There's people at this theater sold out. | ||
| They're in suits and little, you know, the earpieces that they bring for the president. | ||
| They're doing that whole thing. | ||
| And I gave them a description. | ||
| I'm like, he looked blind. | ||
| I don't think he is. | ||
| Chances are he's not really blind. | ||
| And then I'm like, shit, I have my camera set up. | ||
| So I go and look and you only see the shadows. | ||
| It's like an SNL sketch. | ||
| The way you can only see certain shadows and him kind of bump into me and something happened and then he walks away and me looking around. | ||
| But it's just shadows. | ||
| So I'm like, he has this jaw. | ||
| So we're zooming in on the jaw and the staff is comparing the pictures on their phones to the people in the crowd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so crazy. | |
| Everyone's looking for this dude. | ||
| Then the server comes up and she goes, I have a guy in the back throwing up with his friend. | ||
| He's throwing up in a trash can. | ||
| I'm like, let me go look. | ||
| So I take a peek in the back and I'm like, that's him. | ||
| Immediately. | ||
| And you know what's fucked up? | ||
| Is that he looked a lot like this guy I know that works at Gas Digital for Lewis who's blind. | ||
| He looks like... | ||
| They call him Gay Blind Mike, Gas Digital. | ||
| And he looks a lot like him, so I thought I was being like gay racist. | ||
| You mean blind racist? | ||
| Blind... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Blind racist? | ||
| Where I was like, maybe all blind people look alike. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And there's like... | ||
| So I was like, it's him. | ||
| So then they're like, we'll take care of it. | ||
| And they start escorting him out. | ||
| And I guess he gets away and runs out, right? | ||
| Before they can get his ID and his information. | ||
| Which annoys me. | ||
| But I'm going to let it go. | ||
| They're like, he got away. | ||
| Yeah, but wasn't he so drunk he was thrown up in a trash can and they can't catch him? | ||
| No, he like, I don't know how he got away. | ||
| I wasn't there to see it. | ||
| That's why I should have been there. | ||
| But then it gets crazier. | ||
| Okay, so then I'm like kind of pissed that he got away because I'm like, he just got away with that. | ||
| And then I'm like gaslighting myself. | ||
| Like, did he even do it on purpose? | ||
| He was so drunk. | ||
| And they go, well, we know it was him for sure. | ||
| And I go, how do you know it was him? | ||
| They go, oh, on his way out, he said, at least I got to touch Kim Congdon's pussy. | ||
| So then... | ||
| So then, I mean, this is like... | ||
| At this point, Joey's offstage. | ||
| I haven't even told him what happened. | ||
| I'm in the green room. | ||
| I'm drinking champagne. | ||
| There's a huge party in the green room. | ||
| And I just got told this, like, by the door. | ||
| And without saying anything to anyone, I just get up and I go outside. | ||
| I just beeline it for the exit. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| And security, I can hear them trying to keep up with me. | ||
| And I'm, like, kicking doors open. | ||
| I'm fucking pissed now. | ||
| Because now I'm like, he did it on fucking purpose. | ||
| And he's a fan and he knows my name. | ||
| And now it's a problem for me. | ||
| And then I don't even know if I should say the next part. | ||
| But I found him outside. | ||
| Should you not say this part? | ||
| I found him outside. | ||
| She found him outside. | ||
| I found him outside. | ||
| And then they were like, do you want to call the cops? | ||
| I was like, no. | ||
| She took care of it herself. | ||
| That's, yeah. | ||
| One thing about mom, is she gonna do it herself? | ||
| Yeah, like, no one would be mad at you for doing that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Especially, it's a guy. | ||
| You started with a bitch slip. | ||
| That's all I'll say. | ||
| Started with that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How drunk was he? | ||
| Was he recognizing how bad he fucked up? | ||
| What was he thinking? | ||
| Well, he said that on his way out, so he was proud of it. | ||
| That's the thing that pissed me off. | ||
| I would have let it almost go. | ||
| Because I was like, he's drunk. | ||
| But the fact that he said that, he had nerves still. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He was sober enough to be a fucking dick. | ||
| So you're sober enough to get your ass kicked. | ||
| The whole night went different because I was like, my friend got touched. | ||
| We're getting Chinese food. | ||
| Also, it was horrible because when I kicked open the door, there was a bunch of fans outside because Joey just ended, so they're all waiting to say hi. | ||
| And I just had a great set. | ||
| Yeah, and I just had a great set, so they immediately remember my name, and I have all these fans. | ||
| They're going, Kim, and I say nothing past them. | ||
| All they see is me kick open the door, go past them. | ||
| I mean, absolutely, from the hip, like I'm throwing a hook. | ||
| Open hand, drop someone. | ||
| Dropped him with an open hand. | ||
| And then, yeah. | ||
| But then, there was a Variety article about it, and that's how this bitch got verified. | ||
| She used that article to get her checkmarked. | ||
| That was the checkmark. | ||
| That was how I got my verified checkmark. | ||
| She got a touch for a checkmark, Joe. | ||
| And honestly... | ||
| Worth it. | ||
| I was like, oh, that's all it took? | ||
| I wish a blind man would come touch my vagina. | ||
| Be careful what you wish for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was a little jealous. | |
| Yeah, don't wish for that out loud. | ||
| She's joking, everyone. | ||
| If there's a blind man in there that's like, I've been waiting for my time. | ||
| That's a dude who gets his strategies from like a Scooby-Doo episode. | ||
| Just pretend you're blind. | ||
| Well, I'm a dumbass. | ||
| I fell for it. | ||
| I was like, oh, he was blind, that poor boy. | ||
| Did he have a cane? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
| Who the fuck is blind and just walks out without a cane? | ||
| I didn't have time to think about it. | ||
| I don't think about the habits of the blind post-show. | ||
| Like, post-show, post-touch. | ||
| Right, post-touch. | ||
| A lot of chaos. | ||
| Afterward, we saw those LED balloons that light up. | ||
| The clear ones that Disney sells. | ||
| Sarah was trying to make me feel better in any way. | ||
| She's like, I'll get you Chinese. | ||
| Do you want an egg roll? | ||
| I'll buy it. | ||
| You got touched. | ||
| She kept saying that. | ||
| She kept saying, you got touched. | ||
| And everybody kept treating me. | ||
| When mommy gets touched, mama eats Chinese too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then she tried to buy me the balloon, and I was like, I don't want a balloon. | ||
| She's like, you love those balloons. | ||
| She remembered I mentioned them before. | ||
| She was like, you love those balloons. | ||
| I'll get that balloon for you. | ||
| You got touched. | ||
| So she literally... | ||
| I'm like, Sarah, no. | ||
| She's like, no, I'm getting it. | ||
| And she opens the door, and she goes to get the balloon, and they literally drive off as she's walking. | ||
| And she has to come back and tell me... | ||
| I'm like, sorry, you're not getting the balloon in. | ||
| You got touched. | ||
| And so now every time I see that balloon... | ||
| I know, and I was gonna get you one of them for your birthday. | ||
| I was like, no, I know she likes those balloons, but it's gonna remind her of getting touched. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| But now we just bring it up every time we want to tell the story. | ||
| I got verified anyways. | ||
| That's the most hilarious way to get verified. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it was really funny. | ||
| I was at the comedy store telling people that. | ||
| I'm like, so I got touched for a blue checkmark. | ||
| And then I was telling them how my mom was coming into town and how she's kind of crazy and a little wild. | ||
| You've met my mom before. | ||
| A little crazy. | ||
| And I made her dye her hair back because she dyed it blue. | ||
| Bright blue. | ||
| And I was like, don't come to LA with blue hair, please. | ||
| I was like, go back to blonde. | ||
| I was like, please. | ||
| Well, she was thinking about it and I encouraged it. | ||
| And then I was like, yeah, dye your hair back. | ||
| And then I was telling that story and I was like, I don't know. | ||
| My mom's just crazy and she likes to party. | ||
| I was like, I don't know what happened to her. | ||
| She has blue hair and someone goes, that's her blue checkmark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, oh, shit! | |
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Isn't it weird that, like, Twitter, you pay for a checkmark, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Instagram now. | ||
| Instagram, too? | ||
| So, does that mean... | ||
| But you can pretend to be... | ||
| Can you pretend to be somebody? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Anyone can get a check mark. | ||
| It's kind of obvious when someone's pretending, though. | ||
| But a verification, what does it mean? | ||
| Nothing anymore. | ||
| So if you have just a regular account and you have a blue check mark, does it give you access to other things? | ||
| What's the point of it? | ||
| I think it's just, like, there's people that get blue checkmarks and then they try to, like, reach out to people who also have blue checkmarks to, like, collaborate. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And they're like, oh, I have a blue checkmark, so I'm really official now. | ||
| And it makes it, like, seem... | ||
| But you can tell because they have, like, 16 likes. | ||
| What used to make sense is if it was, if, like, the Sarah Weinshank... | ||
| Twitter account was verified because you're a person, a public person. | ||
| So that makes sense. | ||
| That should be verified. | ||
| Everybody knows this is her, so if there's a fake one, which there probably is a bunch of them, everybody knows the difference between the real one and the fake one. | ||
| The real one is the blue checkmark. | ||
| But if you could just buy a blue checkmark, what does that mean now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't matter anymore. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| They kind of lost value when you could buy one. | ||
| Everybody was saying that. | ||
| Especially for people like journalists or politicians, because if you can fake being them... | ||
| And just get traction on tweets. | ||
| I'm sure those Russian troll farms do shit like that. | ||
| I'm sure they do that. | ||
| I'm sure they make fake accounts. | ||
| I'm sure they do. | ||
| They have thousands. | ||
| Who knows how many they have? | ||
| They found that 19 of the top 20 Facebook Christian webpages were run by Russian troll farms. | ||
| 19. Whoa. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's wild. | |
| That is so weird. | ||
| They're just turning people on each other. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Well, I'm waiting for the day that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Riles up. | |
| Repent. | ||
| I'm waiting for the day the internet, the solar flare happens. | ||
| We all go down. | ||
| That could happen. | ||
| That could happen. | ||
| That's very likely. | ||
| When? | ||
| Very soon, right? | ||
| It's very unpredictable how the sun works. | ||
| I mean, not how it works physically to understand it, but whether or not you get flares. | ||
| And some of these flares... | ||
| Have you ever seen what it looks like when you see a solar flare superimposed with a picture of Earth, like the size of Earth? | ||
| It's... | ||
| Wild how big these things are. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They're so huge. | ||
| The fucking sun is so gigantic. | ||
| It's not even a big sun. | ||
| It's so insane when you look at it in comparison to the rest of the solar system. | ||
| Is this tomorrow? | ||
| There's a solar flare tomorrow? | ||
| Goddammit, Jamie. | ||
| There's a solar flare tomorrow? | ||
| You know, I always said that I wanted the end of the world to happen when I'm near Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, we'll be okay. | |
| Sweetie, I'll be banging on your gate or wherever you live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on in. | |
| I'll show you. | ||
| Just me and my mom. | ||
| Mom, her hair's not blue anymore! | ||
| Can your mom shoot? | ||
| I just went shooting. | ||
| You guys went shooting together. | ||
| She actually can shoot. | ||
| I can shoot, yeah. | ||
| You should have seen my little thing. | ||
| So listen to what it says. | ||
| It says NASA predicts radio and GPS blackout on November 30. That's two days from now? | ||
| It's one day. | ||
| One day? | ||
| Tomorrow. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| They're going to bring the aliens in tomorrow due to a coronal mass ejection. | ||
| Okay, now look at coronal mass ejection. | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| Look what these things look like. | ||
| And this is on the NASA website? | ||
| And it's tomorrow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this pod's not coming out. | ||
| Look at this fucking thing that's hovering in space that keeps us alive. | ||
| It looks like a hot Cheeto. | ||
| Imagine that we need this thing to generate heat. | ||
| And if it doesn't generate heat, we're dead. | ||
| We rely on a nuclear power plant for the whole universe. | ||
| Yeah, but you know when you were talking about the guy that you have tattooed on you, the Five Rings guy? | ||
| The samurai. | ||
| When I look at the sun, I also think of my heart, where I'm like, I need it to pump every time to survive, where I'm like, it's all the same thing, where it's like one little adjustment almost anywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anywhere. | ||
| It's over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fucked, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucked. | |
| That's fucked. | ||
| The balance between life and death with Earth. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Like, all we have to do is just get a little further from the sun and we're fucksville. | ||
| And everything freezes. | ||
| That's so fucking crazy. | ||
| One little shift in gravity. | ||
| That's so scary. | ||
| Apparently if our moon wasn't there our moon is so large that it keeps our orbit and you know our our weather Fairly stable, you know, it's like there's something about the earth being right and it keeps our I'm fucking this up for sure, but there's something about the earth bat like that being balanced by the moon That it helps sustain life Which is one of the reasons why some people are wondering why they're not seeing life on other planets. | ||
| You know, like, what is it about Earth? | ||
| And it seems one of the things about Earth is the stability that the moon gives us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How is... | |
| Find out what it does. | ||
| I was gonna ask if... | ||
| You remind me of this video I saw just recently. | ||
| Have you seen this before? | ||
| Fresh take on the origin of Earth's moon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| That's a jellyfish. | ||
| This is like when the Big Bang happened. | ||
| So this is Earth, this glowing ball moving. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| And something went by it and hit it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that created the moon. | ||
| And that's what's still like. | ||
| These are giant. | ||
| Well, that's Earth 1 and Earth 2. That's what the... | ||
| Look, it just reabsorbed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is going to be the moon here. | ||
| But like that happened over, you know, thousands and thousands and thousands of years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they think. | ||
| The moon's for sure a woman. | ||
| We've talked about it before. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| Two planets collided, kids. | ||
| It's kind of sexual. | ||
| Holy shit is it sexual because it created everything. | ||
| They smashed. | ||
| And it's the same thing as other things. | ||
| Everything's the same. | ||
| Not to be so high about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| It's the same thing as everything else. | ||
| It literally is sexual. | ||
| It's like having two people come together and have a child. | ||
| It's trippy. | ||
| All of those solar nurseries, have you seen those? | ||
| The stellar nurseries there's just the wildest formations of galaxies where these galaxies are coming out of this This stellar nursery. | ||
| It's fucking nuts when you see them. | ||
| Have you seen the video where they go to Earth and then they pull out and just show you where you are? | ||
| Oh, it's sick. | ||
| This is a stellar nursery visualization. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is something that exists 6,500 light years away. | ||
| That is so cool looking. | ||
| Fucking wild. | ||
| I want to go there. | ||
| That looks like a wizard in a hat holding something up. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| I mean, how fucking insane is this? | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| What is that even? | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| Whatever this visualization is, I would love to see what perspective we're looking at. | ||
| How big is this? | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| Is it a physical thing you can land on? | ||
| I don't know what the fuck it is. | ||
| It makes me feel more spiritual. | ||
| It looks like a waterfall. | ||
| It looks like a waterfall. | ||
| It looks like some Avatar shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| It really does. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| This is like what the mother would... | ||
| Give through the tree. | ||
| Wind from stars? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The gas that makes up the pillars becomes transparent, revealing clusters of embryonic stars. | |
| It's gas. | ||
| I like the narration. | ||
| Our eyes couldn't see that without this data. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you see shit like this, it makes me feel like there has to be a god. | |
| No, but this is my question. | ||
| I think the universe is gods. | ||
| I do too. | ||
| Can I ask you a serious question? | ||
| If you have to. | ||
| And it might be really dumb. | ||
| It might be really dumb. | ||
| How did they get that footage? | ||
| It's not real footage. | ||
| So how do we know? | ||
| Well, because they use various imaging tools to get an understanding of what's out there. | ||
| And the greatest one they're using right now is the web. | ||
| They've got this new telescope that is getting these insane shots of deep space and A lot of it is computer-generated. | ||
| So a lot of what you see when you see these images is computer-generated. | ||
| But there's some real images, they're not as impressive. | ||
| It's kind of different. | ||
| So this computer-generated stuff, when they're showing you, like, the stellar nursery, like, that's... | ||
| I don't believe that's what it really looks like. | ||
| With infrared light. | ||
| But how detailed are their infrareds? | ||
| How much are they guessing? | ||
| Because I know they add color to these things. | ||
| They do a lot of stuff. | ||
| So it's computer generated to a certain extent. | ||
| But either way, it's fucking, just what they're discovering is just wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful. | |
| The nuttiest speculation that Brian Keating hates, but some people are speculating that the universe is a lot older than they thought it was. | ||
| And they think that the Big Bang, instead of 13.7 billion years, was somewhere around like 22 or 24 billion years ago. | ||
| It seemed a little close for me, sweetie. | ||
| It's something about the creation of galaxies. | ||
| That galaxies are created too far away. | ||
| Because the further they can look. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| There's some wacky show. | ||
| But the point is, there's so much that they don't know already. | ||
| There's so many planets. | ||
| No idea what's out there. | ||
| Isn't there one that's just like Earth is called... | ||
| I don't know what it's called. | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| I think they've found a few that are in the Goldilocks zone. | ||
| Ooh, the Goldilocks! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's, you know, not too hot, not too cold. | ||
| This one is just right. | ||
| Just right! | ||
| That's where Earth is, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's exactly it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Earth is in the Goldilocks now. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| We're so lucky. | ||
| We're super lucky, but we're also not lucky because we're in the middle of a comet storm. | ||
| Every September and—no, June and November, we pass through these comet storms. | ||
| Here's a for instance of a— Whoa. | ||
| A website on how to get this. | ||
| I guess we could download this data from the web telescope and process these images ourself. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So this is what it looks like, I guess, when you first get some of the first pictures. | ||
| That's beautiful, too. | ||
| Process it in black and white. | ||
| And then he took that and made it into this. | ||
| See, I kind of would rather just look at the other one. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, the other one was sick. | ||
| Because this is real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is what you can really show me. | ||
| Put a filter on it. | ||
| Don't do the Samsung thing. | ||
| You know what Samsung did with the moon view? | ||
| Oh, I was such a sucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was showing everybody, look, I had to take a picture of the moon, bro. | |
| Because you know when you take a photo with your iPhone and you're like, it doesn't do it justice? | ||
| Samsung did some shit where it enhances it, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's called lying. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't. | ||
| They'd be filtering the moon, Samsung. | ||
| I should say, they have amazing cameras. | ||
| Those Samsung phones have wicked cameras. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| And they're all battling with each other for who has the best camera, whether it's iPhone or... | ||
| I like the iPhone operating system better, but Samsung has some wicked fucking cameras. | ||
| So, anyway... | ||
| What it actually does is it just knows what the moon looks like. | ||
| And it puts a fucking detailed photo of the moon over whatever blurry shit you have. | ||
| And these kids found it out because this dude set up a picture of a blurry picture of the moon on a screen, a monitor, and then backed up and filmed it. | ||
| And it gave him a perfectly detailed photo of the moon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| They play dirty. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They play super dirty. | ||
| What a smart kid. | ||
| I know, but I was such a sucker. | ||
| I was like, dude, Samsung phones, look. | ||
| Fucking bitch-ass iPhone. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| You can't do this. | ||
| I wish the iPhone had that too, kind of. | ||
| Yeah, lie to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| Everybody lie to me. | ||
| I want a picture of the moon. | ||
| I want a sexier picture of the moon. | ||
| Lie to me, Apple. | ||
| I took this picture. | ||
| Total bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Computer generated nonsense. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The whole filters thing is weird. | ||
| When people use filters for videos and you're like, hey man, I know you don't look like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Are you animated now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what's really dark? | ||
| Remember that Wish.com thing? | ||
| What's Wish.com? | ||
| We were at Skankfest. | ||
| We had a filter picture that we put filters on and we posted. | ||
| And then someone posted a real video of us and said, Kim Congdon on Wish. | ||
| Kim and Sarah, that you ordered the Kim Congdon from Wish or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I was like, us without a filter. | ||
| So that's where it'll get you. | ||
| If you start using filters, then you can't really... | ||
| It actually makes you look worse in real life. | ||
| And it's making everyone look worse. | ||
| Inside our lifetime, they're gonna reverse aging. | ||
| Hell yeah! | ||
| Inside our lifetime. | ||
| Inside our lifetime. | ||
| I've actually always believed that, so I really like to hear you say that I've been terrified of death my whole life, and I've just convinced myself to feel better that by the time I'm that old, I can go back. | ||
| I think they're working really hard on it, and they're coming very close. | ||
| And I think there's going to be some improvements in whether it's pharmaceutical drugs or medical technology. | ||
| They're going to figure something out. | ||
| Because it's a simulation, and we don't actually ever end. | ||
| That's what Bert Kreischer says. | ||
| He goes, I don't believe you die! | ||
| Prove it! | ||
| Yeah, that's a thing comics have. | ||
| I don't think you have to die! | ||
| No, I've read into that. | ||
| That's a mental illness that comics have. | ||
| I have that too. | ||
| I'm like, I'll never die. | ||
| It's like you are in such denial. | ||
| I've accepted it. | ||
| No, I'm like... | ||
| Death? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like if you think of the fact that you're going to die, it makes you live every day differently. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| Well, it definitely will if you feel that way. | ||
| Yeah, I think about it all the time, and instead of fearing it, I'm like, okay, well, fuck it, I'm having the burrito. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's always Chinese food or burritos. | ||
| Sometimes you gotta self-care as a burrito. | ||
| Yeah, um... | ||
| If you live your life with the gratitude that you're alive, you'll do better. | ||
| That I do. | ||
| For whatever reason. | ||
| If it's because you realize you're going to die or it's because you're just happy to be alive. | ||
| I'm genuinely grateful. | ||
| I'm like, we're very lucky. | ||
| We're all very lucky. | ||
| Me and my friends are all lucky. | ||
| We get to hang out with the funniest people in the world. | ||
| We do the best. | ||
| We were all talking about it last night, the green room. | ||
| Like, what a fun hang it is. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're so lucky. | |
| We're so lucky. | ||
| We're really lucky. | ||
| We really are. | ||
| We had so much fun last night. | ||
| It was so silly. | ||
| So much fun. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| It's the best hang. | ||
| When I'm around comedians, if I'm not around comedians, I get homesick for them. | ||
| That's what Stan Hope said. | ||
| He goes, I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comedians. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really about the comics, The Hang for me. | ||
| The Hang is the most fun. | ||
| The Hang's why I got into it, I gotta tell you. | ||
| The Hang was it. | ||
| It's the clubhouse. | ||
| Ron White always says it. | ||
| He says, we got our own clubhouse. | ||
| Comics Clubhouse. | ||
| That's what he's saying when I'm knocking on the door. | ||
| Can I come in? | ||
| He's like, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's set up in there too with the timers and the screens. | |
| It's so perfect. | ||
| You don't have to worry about even like, you've taken every single worry about a comedy club away too. | ||
| When I'm at clubs, I can't even relax in the green room because I'm running out asking the host, how long do they have? | ||
| When do I have to go up? | ||
| You just sit there, you see the timer, you see them on stage, you see the fucking clock. | ||
| There's lights everywhere. | ||
| There's lights everywhere. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| There's a light in the hallway. | ||
| There's a light right above the stage in the back. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Do you believe in reincarnation? | ||
| I don't not believe in it. | ||
| Do you think you were something else in a past life? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Sometimes I think I was a 1950s housewife in a past life. | ||
| Like, I'm overly connected to that time period, and I'm like, was I a 1950s housewife? | ||
| She comes when she gets hit. | ||
| Is this from dreams? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dreams? | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Do you ever have repeating dreams? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my gosh! | ||
| I had to see a doctor because I had the same dream for five years. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I was at this beach. | ||
| It was my college town. | ||
| I was at this beach and I would be in a haunted hotel. | ||
| I would have to stay at this haunted place that I was moving into. | ||
| But the beach was beautiful. | ||
| It was like a paradise. | ||
| But every night I was scared. | ||
| Remember we found out I was also having the same dream? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were going to the same places in our dreams. | ||
| But I also saw on TikTok that a lot of people were going to the same dream that I was going to. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, they were describing the same pier I was at and like everything. | ||
| Wait a minute, is this after you put yours up? | ||
| This is after I... This is Russian disinformation. | ||
| That's how they're trying to break us down. | ||
| No, this is something I hadn't even talked about publicly for a while until I found that TikTok of a bunch of people saying, I've been here too, and then describing it. | ||
| And even down to people saying like, oh my, someone even like, and then you can see how many people agree by all the likes. | ||
| There was one that had like a lot of likes and said, oh, I go to the beach every night too, the same exact beach, except I have to stay in a haunted condo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One, two, Freddy's coming for you. | |
| Imagine if Freddy Cougar's real. | ||
| Stop, because I've had that dream too. | ||
| But imagine if it just starts happening. | ||
| Imagine if we've done so much bad to the earth that we've really opened up Satan and demons get you in your dreams. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, stop. | |
| Because I'm really scared. | ||
| This is worse than the solar flares. | ||
| You can't go to sleep, but you're always tired. | ||
| If you go to sleep, Freddy's waiting for you. | ||
| The music. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| Imagine if everybody really starts going to the same place in their dreams, and then some people start dying. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| Some people start dying. | ||
| I mean, at first they blame it on the vaccine, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But then they start realizing, no, these people are all dying of internal hemorrhaging that we can't really discern where it's coming from while they're sleeping. | ||
| Is this a new disease? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They're getting eviscerated by demons. | ||
| I don't want to be eviscerated by demons at night. | ||
| You're getting eviscerated by demons in your sleep. | ||
| And then you wake up. | ||
| You know it's a dream. | ||
| You know if you wake up, you can get away. | ||
| I don't know what that cross joint did to you. | ||
| You're always going to want to go back to sleep, though. | ||
| Dude, stop. | ||
| You're scaring us. | ||
| And every time you go back to sleep, they're just ready and running at you, and you're tired. | ||
| You're tired because you're sleeping. | ||
| You're always tired. | ||
| So you're breathing heavy. | ||
| You're breathing too heavy. | ||
| You're like, God, why am I so tired so quick? | ||
| I gotta run faster. | ||
| What if you just started making horror films? | ||
| And the demons, they know exactly how fast you can run. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, he won't give up. | |
| He won't. | ||
| So they just run just at your heels. | ||
| I don't like demons nipping at my heels. | ||
| I feel like I'm being demon hypnotized. | ||
| And they're laughing because they know you're scared. | ||
| They love it when you're scared. | ||
| That's what they want. | ||
| They want you to be scared. | ||
| So they're laughing. | ||
| They're laughing right behind you because they know you can't get away, but they're just running just fast. | ||
| They're not even worried. | ||
| Not worried at all. | ||
| They're demons. | ||
| They're holding little pitchforks. | ||
| And they're laughing. | ||
| And as they're laughing, you're getting more scared because you know you can't run much longer. | ||
| Do you think it'd be fun to have sex with a demon? | ||
| No, Sarah! | ||
| For the first few seconds. | ||
| I do too! | ||
| You're like, fuck you, mom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Show me that pitchfork. | |
| That's exactly how it feels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you proud to be dad? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| This is for everything you've done for me, mascara runs down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And then you feel the scales. | ||
| I have a reoccurring nightmare that I'm back in college and I have a calculus test. | ||
| Yeah, I'm scared I'm not going to graduate. | ||
| Yes, it's reoccurring all the time. | ||
| I used to have dreams that I failed one of my exams and I had to go back to high school. | ||
| Yes, I have that often, like reoccurring. | ||
| And also my teeth fall out. | ||
| I had one of those one time. | ||
| I touch one and then they go like dominoes and they all fall out. | ||
| I'm like, no! | ||
| There's supposed to be some connection with that. | ||
| They say you feel like you don't have control of your life. | ||
| Yeah, that seems about right. | ||
| You nailed it, Joe! | ||
| I mean, who does? | ||
| I'm really perceptive, guys. | ||
| I don't know if I've told you that. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Fucked up dreams. | ||
| You know, I had a friend pass away like seven years ago. | ||
| And this is really, this is scary. | ||
| Not scary. | ||
| It's pretty trippy, but very true. | ||
| I was dating someone at this time and he was staying with me. | ||
| And I had, I never had night terrors where I woke up out of my sleep ever in my entire life. | ||
| And I had one one night where I woke up and I, cause I had a dream that someone came in my room while I was watching TV at night in my bed and they were wearing a hoodie. | ||
| I couldn't see their face and their face was like blacked out. | ||
| And they sat next to me in bed and then pulled out a gun and shot themselves in the head and died next to me. | ||
| And I could tell it was someone I cared about because they wasn't scared when they were sitting next to me. | ||
| It felt like a friend. | ||
| And I said, like, why did you do that in my dream? | ||
| And the person said, I'm sorry, I'm dying. | ||
| And then three hours later, I got a call that my best friend died. | ||
| And that was the dream I had that night. | ||
| And it was the only dream that's ever woken me up out of my sleep. | ||
| Where I was, like, so terrified I woke up. | ||
| Kim is a little intuitive. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| Well, Kim's a little nutty. | ||
| She is. | ||
| And most nutty people, they can sense some things. | ||
| Like, you ever wonder, like, schizophrenics when they're running around talking to themselves. | ||
| Are you saying I'm schizophrenic? | ||
| No, no, no, I'm not. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| But have you ever wondered? | ||
| Maybe someone's talking back to them. | ||
| I think that all the time because sometimes I hear them say things that make sense. | ||
| When Brody died, I went into an actual psychosis. | ||
| I was taking Adderall for a lot of years and then I stopped taking it suddenly because I wanted to sleep and I was so sad that he had died. | ||
| I abruptly stopped taking Adderall and it put me in like this... | ||
| Wild psychosis and now I talk about it all the time because it's so it's so mass like Prescribed it's insane. | ||
| Well, it's an amphetamine. | ||
| Yeah, it's meth. | ||
| Well, it's it's better Yeah, if you're gonna take one I take Adderall. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| They have it dialed in You know exactly what you're gonna get right the dosage right isn't it fascinating that it's okay to take that I mean they say you need it for ADD It made me... | ||
| You say you need it. | ||
| It really like... | ||
| Because I got... | ||
| I started taking it in college, right? | ||
| Because I was like, I got to do this paper, you know? | ||
| Because as a society, we put so much... | ||
| We put a spotlight on productivity. | ||
| It's like, how productive are you being? | ||
| And not really on well-being. | ||
| And because of that, I got really addicted to it. | ||
| And then when I started stand-up, I was like a personal assistant during the day. | ||
| So I'd be like on Excel sheets all day. | ||
| And then going to do stand-up. | ||
| And so just like awake and awake and awake for like 10 years. | ||
| And then I'm like, it's really nice to sleep. | ||
| Not being on Adderall, I'm like, it's so nice sleeping. | ||
| Were you able to sleep when you were on Adderall? | ||
| No. | ||
| So how many hours a night do you think you slept? | ||
| Probably like four. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And they weren't real, it wasn't even real sleep. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Because then you get like a tolerance to it, right? | ||
| And the company that fucking, listen to this, this shit's crazy. | ||
| The company that, okay, to get Adderall, there was this place, I went on Yelp and typed in Adderall, this place comes up. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I'm not joking, this place comes up, the doctor who prescribed it to me is now in jail because he was prescribing stuff to people like willy-nilly. | ||
| Yeah, that's real common. | ||
| It's really scary. | ||
| Well, a lot of these doctors are also taking these things, which is interesting. | ||
| Because if you're a doctor and you know that these things work and you decide that you have ADD or whatever and you go to your other doctor friend and he writes a prescription for you... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And now you're taking Adderall, and you need it. | ||
| Because you need it. | ||
| Like, a lot of people just think they need it. | ||
| Because it is probably great. | ||
| Like, I haven't done it. | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| I'm scared I'd like it. | ||
| Oh, no, you'd like it. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I like the trauma tapping you did. | ||
| This is how it... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, yeah. | |
| Did you see that? | ||
| Because, you know why? | ||
| It reminds me... | ||
| It's like having flashbacks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was. | |
| It was an Adderall flashback. | ||
| I'm like, I'm typing on a computer. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it reminded me of. | ||
| But, yeah, when you went through that, that was like... | ||
| Fucking crazy. | ||
| It was so scary. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was really scary. | ||
| I called the cops on her. | ||
| My parents did, too. | ||
| Look, it's hard. | ||
| People get hooked on pills. | ||
| There's a lot of pills that can get you hooked. | ||
| I'm grateful every day to not be on it. | ||
| Brandon Shaw broke his nose in a fight. | ||
| We fought Mirko Krokop and he got his nose smashed. | ||
| And he had to get his nose fixed. | ||
| And they put him on oxys. | ||
| And so he took the oxys, got the surgery. | ||
| His nose was destroyed. | ||
| Takes the oxys and then just keeps taking them. | ||
| Long after the healing process, he's fucking taking them all day long. | ||
| And finally his friends just came over to his house and took everything away. | ||
| Hey dude, you gotta stop. | ||
| But it was hard. | ||
| He said it was fucking hard. | ||
| It was really hard to get off of Adderall, too. | ||
| And then now, I have some friends who are still on it, and there's a shortage of it. | ||
| And there's people that are hooked on it, and there's a shortage of it nationwide. | ||
| And it's really fucking people's shit up, because they've been taking it for so long. | ||
| Right, and then the problem is, then they go for street Adderall, which is cut with fentanyl. | ||
| Well, also, a lot of people get on Adderall because they want to lose weight because it makes you skinny. | ||
| Makes you not hungry. | ||
| No, it's so fucked up. | ||
| That was one of the benefits for me, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, I'm skinny and I'm a perfectionist. | |
| It's so easy for women to get addicted because you're just losing weight and being productive. | ||
| You're like, I can do it all! | ||
| Exactly what you're supposed to be doing. | ||
| You're like, I baked a pie and also called my grandmother to say hello. | ||
| And the house is clean and I'm a stand-up comedian. | ||
| And my My hair is done. | ||
| I'm telling you right now, I don't remember who said this, but it was a famous woman. | ||
| She said, if my apartment's clean, my work's not doing well. | ||
| It's like, for me, it really is one or the other. | ||
| If my place is clean, I haven't had a set in a couple days. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've been at home. | ||
| If I'm doing well, my shit is... | ||
| I have boxes in my house that are just half opened. | ||
| I got bags of stuff. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know what that is. | ||
| I haven't packed from the last trip before the next trip. | ||
| That's really interesting. | ||
| It's really interesting she said that. | ||
| I think creative people would probably agree with that. | ||
| Especially when you get on a, like if you're on something, like you're working on something and you're like really into it. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what's going on around me. | ||
| I'm just focused on what I'm doing. | ||
| I got empty cans and shit. | ||
| Cigars. | ||
| We just wrote a movie together and that whole time my apartment was fucked up. | ||
| Same. | ||
| It was embarrassing. | ||
| Us writing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I gotta tell you, being a creative is embarrassing. | ||
| Being a creative? | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| We were meeting at coffee shops in between our house to write. | ||
| And I'm like a loud writer. | ||
| I'm quiet. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing. | ||
| I would rather people not know I'm writing a script. | ||
| And Sarah's like, what if we say throbbing instead of pulsating? | ||
| And I'm like, exterior day! | ||
| Did you write that? | ||
| I'm like, shh! | ||
| I like get embarrassed and Sarah doesn't get a fuck. | ||
| I don't get embarrassed. | ||
| I think you cooked that part of your brain off with Adderall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| Just fried it. | ||
| That embarrassment gene is just fucking... | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| I don't get humiliated like that. | ||
| It got redlined too long. | ||
| Well, because if I hear people... | ||
| Go! | ||
| Well, it's also a me thing, because if I hear people writing a script out loud, I'm like, okay. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| So I know people are doing that. | ||
| How many of those people are dreamers? | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| And people don't realize that I'm not. | ||
| So they don't know, and they think I am, even though I shouldn't care. | ||
| I'm like, I don't give a fuck what these people think. | ||
| All right, exterior day. | ||
| We're in the attic. | ||
| Did you write that? | ||
| I'm like, shh. | ||
| You know, I talked to this guy, Mark Greeney. | ||
| He's the guy who wrote that book, The Gray Man, and they did that. | ||
| Ryan Reynolds? | ||
| It's Ryan Reynolds, right? | ||
| He's the one who played it, and it was a Netflix movie. | ||
| But it's a really good book series, and he writes in coffee shops. | ||
| No, you switched them. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Did I? Green Man's Ryan Gosling. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I always fuck those dudes up. | ||
| They're both great. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| No disrespect, Ryan Gosling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're both great. | |
| They are great. | ||
| He's really good in the Green Man. | ||
| And this guy writes in coffee shops. | ||
| I was like, you got a house. | ||
| Why don't you write at your house? | ||
| Some people like writing in public around people. | ||
| They want to feel people's weirdness and energy. | ||
| It's fun to people watch, too. | ||
| It gives your brain a break. | ||
| If you want to test your friendship, write a script with your best friend. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Do anything with your best friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I've read stuff with people. | ||
| It can get taxing. | ||
| It can. | ||
| It can. | ||
| But then we went to Hawaii and we healed. | ||
| We say that Hawaii healed our marriage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hawaii saved our marriage. | |
| It did. | ||
| It healed us. | ||
| We were in Kauai and boy did we have a time. | ||
| We had... | ||
| You guys are such a good complement of each other, though. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| When you guys are doing your podcast, it's like watching... | ||
| If you ever see a show where they just take two people and they put them together and they force them to be friends? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like those morning shows. | ||
| That's called Kill Tony. | ||
| That's how we met. | ||
| That's how we met. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| I mean you are spot on with that. | ||
| That is exactly what happened. | ||
| We were both the regulars had to do a minute together and then eventually you're like we should write this together every week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then we're like, oh I guess we're best friends. | ||
| You guys are just a good hang. | ||
| And so like that comes across when you do your podcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like you're just talking shit. | ||
| Oh we get into adventures. | ||
| Cause we're actual friends, you know? | ||
| There are so many people that ride their bike on the highway out here. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| I hate those people. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| I was watching this couple and they were riding their bike. | ||
| Everyone's going by them, literally two feet away, going 60 miles an hour. | ||
| And they're on the side pedaling their bicycle. | ||
| Anything can go wrong. | ||
| Anybody could bump someone. | ||
| Anybody can get a blowout. | ||
| All that shit is happening. | ||
| Who is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, I'm out here being healthy. | |
| I'm out here looking to lengthen my life. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I just saw a cyclist on Thanksgiving. | ||
| I saw one on Thanksgiving and he's like, I'm biking to my mom's house 25 miles away. | ||
| And I was like, up a mountain. | ||
| It was going to take seven hours and he was going to get there for Thanksgiving dinner. | ||
| I'm like, just go eat dinner with your family, dude. | ||
| Just go eat. | ||
| Just buy a Peloton, call it. | ||
| Well, I guess it's an adventure that way. | ||
| Yeah, but it hurts the whole time. | ||
| You see those dudes that like walk all the way across the country? | ||
| There's like these crazy trails that they do. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| The Appalachian Trail? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they homeless? | |
| I think Ari Maness used to do stuff like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It takes days and days and days and days of walking. | |
| And they have these little places where they can camp out along the way because other people do the hike too. | ||
| Sounds horrible. | ||
| And you're always running into serial killers. | ||
| You ever walk one hour? | ||
| That's enough. | ||
| How many serial killers are out there in that woods hiking that trail? | ||
| So many serial killers. | ||
| Like that's probably the way to serial kill. | ||
| If you want to find a serial killer, go to the woods. | ||
| Go to the woods. | ||
| Go to a trail in the woods. | ||
| Don't be an ass hiker in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| What are you hiking out here for? | ||
| I do love hiking. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| It's hard as a woman, but yeah, it's fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I love being outside. | ||
| It's always scary. | ||
| Yeah, you're in the woods already. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're bringing yourself into the woods. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't even have to drag you in there. | ||
| The last time I went hiking, I went on a different hike than I normally do with less people because I like it more, but it's like never anyone around and it makes me a little nervous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I did it and I could see one man at the top of the hike and he was just there the whole time and I'm like, ugh. | ||
| And then when I got to the top, it was a door guy from the Comedy Store. | ||
| He was like, oh, hey, Kim. | ||
| And I was like, hey, Renee. | ||
| I know, it was Renee. | ||
| It was Renee. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I was like, thank God. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about being, working out outside that I really love. | ||
| Like, it feels very calming and meditative and, like, life-giving. | ||
| It brings you back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You're in the sun. | ||
| In the sun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's good for you. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was good for you. | ||
| It was so nice. | ||
| It was our first real vacation in so long when we went to Hawaii. | ||
| If I'm at the beach, I'm pretty embarrassing. | ||
| Dude, we're supposed to get sun all the time. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why you feel good when you're on vacation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're getting all that vitamin D. Tell Joe how I was in the ocean. | |
| What? | ||
| Sarah's tanning. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like, snorkel on, have a tube where the water's breaking and I'm trying to dive through the tube. | ||
| I'm riding the tube onto the sand. | ||
| I'm flipping my- I'm like reading a magazine on the sand. | ||
| I don't leave the water until my lips are blue and my hands are wrinkled. | ||
| I'll just float with a snorkel like I'm dead. | ||
| And let the waves wash me in and drag me out and wash me in. | ||
| For hours. | ||
| It never gets old to me. | ||
| You gotta tell them about the turtles. | ||
| About how we got humiliated in Kauai. | ||
| And she gets embarrassed. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Oh, I got embarrassed. | ||
| Because we went to this beach where I guess the sea turtles swim up. | ||
| Poipu. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Poipu. | ||
| And I'm like very aware of like not touching anything, staying away, giving everything its space. | ||
| So I'm trying to do that. | ||
| But the tourists are kind of chasing the turtle to where it runs into me. | ||
| And it's trying to escape, and I'm trying not to move so it can go around me, but it doesn't know where to go. | ||
| And right then, this lady comes with a megaphone. | ||
| She's like, step away from the turtle! | ||
| She's like, you're just... | ||
| And I already... | ||
| And I am mortified, dude. | ||
| I'm like, I hope nobody listens to the pod. | ||
| I'm getting like... | ||
| In front of a bunch of people getting yelled at. | ||
| And she's in flippers. | ||
| So you have to get out of the water in flippers. | ||
| Embarrassed while everybody watches you leave. | ||
| I couldn't want to go for four hours. | ||
| I was like, who gives a fuck? | ||
| She's taking pictures of the turtles. | ||
| I was like, no, they all know me as the turtles disturber. | ||
| She said I was stressing them out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, you are stressing them out. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| She was like a turtle beach Karen. | ||
| I was like, bitch, you're stressing us out. | ||
| Do you want one of these? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Mushroom. | ||
| Oh, how dare you. | ||
| They give people lion's mane mushrooms. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is literally an omega vitamin that you just gave me. | ||
| I didn't have another mushroom. | ||
| I just had an omega. | ||
| C. Karens are a special breed. | ||
| Oh, C. Karens? | ||
| They'll get you. | ||
| I was watching a C. Karen once in Malibu. | ||
| C. Karen. | ||
| In Malibu, these guys were on the beach and they were fishing and they caught a stingray. | ||
| And as they're pulling the stingray in, this lady comes out of her back porch and runs down the beach yelling, put it back. | ||
| Put it back in the water. | ||
| No! | ||
| Put it back. | ||
| And you do not have to put a stingray back in the water. | ||
| You can eat a stingray if you so choose to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You could? | |
| Yes. | ||
| I don't feel like it would taste good. | ||
| I've had it. | ||
| Did you saute it? | ||
| No, I had it on a menu at a restaurant. | ||
| Is it fishy? | ||
| It's like a fish. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's an interesting flavor. | ||
| But I mean, it's something that people eat. | ||
| So if you're fishing for food and a stingray comes in, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. | ||
| Google and find out if that's true. | ||
| I'm pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. | ||
| Yeah, there are lots of C. Karen. | ||
| But this C. Karen, she came out and she was demanding they comply. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Because that's all public land. | ||
| That's what's so wild about having a house in Malibu. | ||
| You have this super dope house. | ||
| Is it legal to catch stingrays? | ||
| Allowed statewide, mostly taken in Southern California. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it's totally legal to catch them. | ||
| Yeah, you're allowed. | ||
| My dad was a fisherman. | ||
| You don't have to release them. | ||
| I mean, catch them means eat them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it means. | |
| You can eat them. | ||
| But this lady was demanding. | ||
| Imagine catching and releasing stingrays. | ||
| You know the movie The Perfect Storm? | ||
| Do you remember that movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're cool. | |
| Stingrays are cool. | ||
| They are cool. | ||
| I do remember it. | ||
| They're kind of cute. | ||
| Sometimes you look at them and they're smiling. | ||
| They do look like people, oddly, like aliens got stuck inside of a fish. | ||
| Yeah, they do seem alien-like. | ||
| Same with jellyfish. | ||
| Yeah, they are like an alien. | ||
| Alien as hell. | ||
| The stuff in the sea, very alien-like. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| You know, they did some study recently where they showed that jellyfish, despite not having a brain, they seem to be able to learn. | ||
| Now they're trying to figure out how they learn. | ||
| I know how they learn. | ||
| How? | ||
| Vibes. | ||
| Vibes, man. | ||
| They feel the vibes. | ||
| They feel the vibes. | ||
| You don't have to have a brain to feel the vibes. | ||
| If we live in a vibrational universe where everything is frequency, it would make sense. | ||
| They feel the vibes. | ||
| They're vibing out down there. | ||
| They just go with what the flow is. | ||
| They're very jelly-like. | ||
| They just go with whatever the energy is doing already. | ||
| That's why it seems like they know. | ||
| You guys seem like you came up with this theory together and you discussed this before. | ||
| Oh, I just thought of it right now and Sarah came on board with me and I feel like we're onto something. | ||
| Are we not onto something? | ||
| I think we live in a vibrational universe and things enter our experience based on the things that we think and the world that we create. | ||
| I just think if the fish are flowing this way, the jelly is going to go this way, too. | ||
| And it seems like they know what they're doing, but they're just kind of going with whatever is happening around them. | ||
| Also, some of them are poisonous as fuck. | ||
| Like the box jellyfish. | ||
| Which means they know they need to be poisonous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which means they're aware that there's danger. | ||
| They're sentient in some way. | ||
| Yeah, they have no brains, but they're aware. | ||
| I know a lot of people like that. | ||
| I know a lot of jellyfish. | ||
| Well, especially if you think about where box jellyfish live. | ||
| They're Australia, right? | ||
| Australia has great white sharks everywhere. | ||
| Australia has those little cute octopi that... | ||
| Is it octopus? | ||
| Pie? | ||
| I think it's octopi. | ||
| Octopi that are the little blue-ringed ones that look like you can pick them up, but they'll kill you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| They're like the most dangerous one in the world. | ||
| It's not octopussies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's a James Bond movie. | |
| Octopuses. | ||
| The blue ringed octopus. | ||
| Yeah, it's like very cute and small. | ||
| And they have videos of that one. | ||
| That'll kill you? | ||
| Yeah, that'll kill you. | ||
| How come that guy has it on his hand? | ||
| It's like one of the most deadly octopus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It looks sick. | ||
| And people pick them up all the time because they're beautiful. | ||
| I want that in a jacket. | ||
| And so what does it have? | ||
| A stinger? | ||
| It bites, I think. | ||
| What is it doing? | ||
| If I remember correctly. | ||
| It has a toxin or some shit? | ||
| I think it bites. | ||
| It's nicknamed bro. | ||
| It says blue-ringed octopus, nicknamed bro. | ||
| It only attacks humans when it feels in danger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you're trying to corner a blue-ringed octopus, it might become aggressive and attack. | |
| So it has two types of toxins for hunting, the other for self-defense. | ||
| A blue-ringed octopus ejects tetrodoxin, a harmful toxin that could paralyze and kill a human adult in mere minutes. | ||
| It's 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| There's no known antidote. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's the same kind of toxin that pufferfish have. | ||
| It can kill 26 full adults with one bite. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It can kill 26 full adults in one bite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That is so crazy. | ||
| That is so insane. | ||
| It is insane, right? | ||
| And there's videos of people that pick it up, they go viral because they don't know better, so they're playing with it in the ocean. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And it's like, oh God. | ||
| And thank God, I mean, I think that, I think they've also, they had a Netflix thing about how octopi are like really smart and they like have the average brain of like a five-year-old child or something. | ||
| So maybe some of them are aware and don't want to kill people when they get picked up, but... | ||
| Well, they figured out how to open up mason jars. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They can unlock doors. | ||
| I think they said that they can memorize shit. | ||
| They can memorize shit and how it works. | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| They had this tank that was set up next to another tank. | ||
| So one tank had octopus in it and the other tank across the room had fish in it. | ||
| And fish started missing. | ||
| And so they set up a camera. | ||
| And they found out what was going on was the octopus was climbing out of his tank, walking across the floor, climbing up into the other tank, jacking a fish, eating it, and then going back into his tank. | ||
| The comedian in me imagined it jacking off a fish and then eating it. | ||
| For some reason, when I was imagining it, the octopus was wearing sunglasses in the whole story. | ||
| The Pink Panther song. | ||
| I mean, how insane is that? | ||
| That the thing figured out that it could get out and walk in a place where it can't breathe. | ||
| Well, they can fit through anything that their eyes can fit through. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| No matter how big they are, I think. | ||
| Don't quote me on that. | ||
| But how would it know that it could get out and climb? | ||
| Jo, you want to hear the answer? | ||
| It's the vibes. | ||
| It just knows. | ||
| The same way everyone knows everything. | ||
| Vibes. | ||
| Vibes. | ||
| You felt it out one day. | ||
| Frequency. | ||
| You were like, this feels right. | ||
| Intuition. | ||
| How would two humans, the first two humans know to have sex? | ||
| They were just like, this feels like we should do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, but it was way before humans, right? | ||
| Animals. | ||
| How did the first living organism that was multicellular figure out how to mate? | ||
| It's just an innate thing. | ||
| A little horny cell. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A little horny cell. | ||
| So what is this octopus doing? | ||
| Oh, big octopus versus small holes. | ||
|
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They keep This is a porn hub category. | |
| I'm sorry guys. | ||
| Is there a little pent-up energy in this room? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Big octopus small hole is disgusting. | ||
| So that little hole in the plexiglass, it's going to go through that little hole. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| And it could definitely fit because his eyeballs are like a fist. | ||
| It actually might. | ||
| It did four other ones before I got to this video. | ||
| So this is the one that might stuck? | ||
| Yeah, I think it backs off. | ||
| It realizes it's stuck. | ||
| This is a fucking alien. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| They are aliens. | ||
| How is that not an alien? | ||
| They really are aliens. | ||
| They're just aliens that live under the ocean. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And do you know the myth of the Kraken? | ||
| Kraken was an enormous octopus that would take out ships. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, it was always like one of those ancient myths of a sea beast. | ||
| Yeah, they have paintings with like the octopus tentacles touching the ships and stuff. | ||
| Well, one day they found tentacle imprints, the imprints of the suction cups that were massive. | ||
| That would have indicated like an enormous octopus. | ||
| Oh yeah, they were definitely taking down ships. | ||
| So they think it was real. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| They think at one point in time there really were massive octopuses. | ||
| They were smart enough to do it. | ||
| What is that fossil, the fossilized version of the kraken? | ||
| So they found these fossils of the suction cups on the bottom of the ocean floor. | ||
| And they were like, what? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| These are huge. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| So if this is really an octopus, like this. | ||
| It's actually a Nevada. | ||
| Oh, is it really? | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| They're like imprints of tentacles? | ||
| They always want you to unlock the story of these people. | ||
| I think there's more than one of these things that they found now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Because this image looks different. | ||
| Giant Kraken Lair discovered. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| Okay. | ||
| State Park in Nevada. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Berlin Endos? | ||
| Squid eating sperm whales. | ||
| State Park, whatever it is. | ||
| Where McMinnon and his daughter spent a few days in the summer. | ||
| The site were the remains of nine... | ||
| 45-foot Ichiothorus of the species Choniosaurus popularis can be found. | ||
| These were the Triassic counterpart to today's predatory giant squid-eating sperm whales. | ||
| But the fossils at the Nevada site have a long history of perplexing researchers, including the world's expert on the site, the late Charles Lewis Camp of UC Berkeley. | ||
| Charles Camp puzzled over these fossils in the 1950s. | ||
| In his papers, he kept referring to how peculiar the site was. | ||
| We agree it's peculiar. | ||
| So where is the thing about the Kraken thing? | ||
| Yeah, when does Kraken eat people? | ||
| That's what I want to hear about. | ||
| That's what this is, I believe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think that's a Kraken. | ||
| Snaggled tooth. | ||
| Oh, what is that? | ||
| It's kind of a mean name. | ||
| No, that's a fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That looks like a dolphin. | ||
| I mean, I think he's talking about other things that he did as well. | ||
| Before Whale. | ||
| Kraken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this Kraken thing, so whatever those tentacles are, they see there. | ||
| It fed on those. | ||
| It fed on those. | ||
| So it ate those giant fish. | ||
|
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|
Holy fuck. | |
| A Kraken of such mythological proportions, it could have sent Captain Nemo running for dry land. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This guy, so scroll down and let's find out how big these tentacles were. | ||
| Did it say anything in there? | ||
| I didn't see anything about that, no. | ||
| I was going to try to find out their website. | ||
| Because they're trying to figure out how big this octopus must have been. | ||
| But the question is, like, what part of the tentacle is it? | ||
| Is it the end of it where it's smaller? | ||
| Is it the part where it's thickest? | ||
| Like, what part do they have a... | ||
| A real fossil of. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I want to know how big it was. | ||
| Imagine getting suctioned to death by a kraken. | ||
| No thanks! | ||
| It just makes sense because everything was giant back then. | ||
| They had megalodons. | ||
| The sharks were fucking huge. | ||
| Megalodons are crazy. | ||
| If you've ever seen a megalodon tooth online, it's nuts looking. | ||
| Gnarly. | ||
| Yeah, I have one. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, my daughter does. | ||
| She's got this megalodon tooth that's like that big. | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| It's fossilized. | ||
| There's a bunch of them. | ||
| You can buy them online. | ||
|
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|
But they were fucking giant. | |
| And they were just eating everything. | ||
| Are they gone? | ||
| Well, not. | ||
| If you watched it, Jason, say the movie. | ||
| The Meg. | ||
| They're gone for sure, though? | ||
|
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|
The Meg is called? | |
| You ever seen The Meg? | ||
| How do we know there's not one roaming around? | ||
| If you dumb yourself up to a considerable extent with the right substances, The Meg is an absolutely hilarious movie. | ||
| I could enjoy The Megalodon. | ||
| Movie or whatever. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I saw the previews. | ||
| I can dumb myself down for it because immediately I was like, I want to see that. | ||
| It's like living in the 80s. | ||
| Sharknado energy. | ||
| So I saw you and Brian Simpson were smelling salt and I want to do it. | ||
| Oh yeah, you said you had some freshies. | ||
| We got freshies back there. | ||
| We're here for the salt challenge, Joe. | ||
| We gotta do the freshies. | ||
| Salt, salt, salt, salt. | ||
| People have been sniffing salts at the studio. | ||
| It's become a thing for some reason. | ||
| I don't know who brought them to the studio. | ||
| They brought a bunch of them. | ||
| Or to the, well, to the studio first, and then people brought it to the green room. | ||
| And I don't know who brought the stuff to the green room, but there's a bunch of stuff in there. | ||
| Bunch of different kinds. | ||
| Bunch of different kinds. | ||
| And I feel like I have them at home now. | ||
| I'm like, am I doing something illegal? | ||
| They have not prepared you for what you're going to experience today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| This is the real thing. | ||
| Now I'm scared. | ||
| This is the real one. | ||
| It's fear factor now? | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| This is next level. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| This is dark. | ||
| Oh, not dark. | ||
| It's going to strange, strange, strange you out. | ||
| It's going to hit your nostrils. | ||
| You're going to feel like your brain's on fire. | ||
| You're going to wish you saw a megalodon. | ||
| Brian Simpson took his headphones off and ran out of the room. | ||
| If Brian Simpson takes his headphones off, it's an issue. | ||
| Yeah, those headphones stay on. | ||
| The headphones don't leave his head. | ||
| Okay, now we're in trouble. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, I don't like how it says, ah! | ||
| Yeah, that's what it's called. | ||
| The bag just says, ah! | ||
| All right, this is a freshy. | ||
| These are rough. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it's sealed inside of here, and then the package is sealed. | ||
| And you can smell it from the outside of the bag. | ||
| Wherever the salt challenge. | ||
| I've seen that when you opened it up. | ||
| Yeah, that's what's up. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That was a big hit. | ||
| It's not even open yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that was not even open yet. | |
| That is it coming from a sealed bottle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'm not ready. | ||
| This is so next level. | ||
| What you experience at the club is nonsense. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| This is the real deal. | ||
| I feel like I can smell in the air a little. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a Phil Collins song. | ||
| Put it up there and just take a hit. | ||
| Just go for it. | ||
| Just go for it. | ||
| Oh, fuck! | ||
| It feels like I just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Like the name. | ||
| It'll wake you right up. | ||
| Oh, Kim, how's it feel? | ||
| Now you know. | ||
| You're like, I want smelling salts. | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| You don't want that life. | ||
| It feels like I went... | ||
| It has a chlorine to it. | ||
| Oh my god, I'm still recovering. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Oh my. | ||
| But there's something about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You do it once and you're like, I think I have it again. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, please, sir, can I have some more? | ||
| This one hits different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This one you feel like in your inside of your skull. | |
| I told you. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I wouldn't sell you something like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So yeah, the ocean's a crazy place. | |
| Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say. | ||
| You know the Andrea Gale, the perfect storm boat? | ||
| My dad was supposed to be on that boat. | ||
| Yeah, and he used to work with the guy that was the captain of the ship and he said he didn't like that he would run into storms and not care about the crew. | ||
| And that's why he didn't go on the boat. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Wow, I still taste the salts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, being in a storm on a boat must be the most terrifying shit ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You ever see those videos of cruise ships where the fucking piano's rolling by? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Everything's falling apart. | ||
| Or like, the deadliest catch, shit like that. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| But there's something like, at least I feel like those boats are more mobile. | ||
| They might be able to survive it better. | ||
| When I look at cruise ships, I'm like, that's a goddamn apartment building in the middle of the ocean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Look at this fucking ship. | ||
| This is the ship that was out there looking for the missing Malaysian Airlines flight in the Indian Ocean. | ||
| This is part of why it was so hard to find. | ||
| Oh, imagine having to go look for the airplane. | ||
| Are you looking for a missing plane? | ||
| Cruises stress me out in general. | ||
| Why do you need to do that? | ||
| Why do you need to go for the missing plane there? | ||
| They don't know where it went. | ||
| Because they need to know what happened to it. | ||
| Have you done a cruise? | ||
| No. | ||
| It freaks me out. | ||
| It's like a bunch of, like, fat Americans, like, showing up in, like, Hawaiian shirts being like, let's go to the buffet! | ||
| Nothing sounds worse. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| And that's not even, like, the worst ocean ever. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was gonna find out. | |
| My TikTok algorithm is full of videos of this one TikTok guy who films people renting boats trying to get out into the ocean and not knowing what they're doing. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| You have to really know what you're doing on a boat. | ||
| The ocean is wild, and the ocean will take you quick. | ||
| Sarah and I almost saw a boy die in Hawaii. | ||
| Literally got pulled out, blew, CPR for over six minutes. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Horrible. | |
| Horrible. | ||
| He survived, luckily. | ||
| They brought him back, but he almost did not make it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| When you see the people just not watching their fucking kids at the beach, it's like, what are you doing? | ||
| You can't just leave your kid, even if they're a good swimmer. | ||
| Especially little kids. | ||
| Oh my god, you know what's fucked up is that we were having the most perfect day. | ||
| It was like the perfect beach day. | ||
| We were surfing. | ||
| We met hot Hawaiian Michaels. | ||
| We're taking us surfing, pushing us into the waves. | ||
| We're having the best day. | ||
| The waterfall was in the background, and then that little boy drowned, and it just cleared the whole beach. | ||
| It was so horrible, and then at that point, I realized that nobody knew CPR. I was the first one to yell, does anybody know CPR? Because this lady's just screaming, help. | ||
| She didn't know what to do. | ||
| And then I'm like, does anybody know CPR? And I look at the locals. | ||
| The lifeguards weren't at that beach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And they were at a different beach. | ||
| So nobody knew CPR and finally the lady just starts trying. | ||
| And she does it for like two minutes. | ||
| And then eventually you see this guy sprint. | ||
| You knew it was his dad. | ||
| Because it's a different run than anybody else. | ||
| And he just slides into the sand and just starts banging on his back. | ||
| Literally turns him over and just starts like... | ||
| Because he was pretty much dead at that point. | ||
| And somehow that motion or that aggression or whatever he did brought him back. | ||
| It woke him up. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| It was so fucking intense to watch. | ||
| It was fucked up. | ||
| For the rest of the trip, I didn't go to any more tourist beach. | ||
| I stayed on all the local beaches where all the locals only swam. | ||
| I kept having anxiety. | ||
| I was watching other people's kids. | ||
| It fucked me up, dude. | ||
| Things can change in a second. | ||
| Watch your kids. | ||
| If you're about to go on vacation, watch your kids in the water. | ||
| The ocean is a fucking beast. | ||
| When Duncan was in Maui, either right before he got there or right after he got there, someone got eaten by a shark. | ||
| Someone got eaten by a shark when we were there. | ||
| In Kauai. | ||
| In the same beach we were at where the boy drowned. | ||
| The same beach. | ||
| Hanalei Bay, someone got eaten by a shark. | ||
| It was a local who surfed that same beach for like 25 years. | ||
| But when we got there, we realized they were telling us we were there during shark mating season. | ||
| So this was a surfer got taken out? | ||
| Yeah, a surfer. | ||
| But he was surfing in the reefs, out deep into the ocean during mating season. | ||
| Yeah, they call it Sharktober. | ||
| Sharktober. | ||
| Sharktober. | ||
| That's what they call it. | ||
| During mating season. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And then you go to the local beaches, and it's full of school kids. | ||
| How you would beg your parents to go to the mall, they are like, please let us go catch a few waves after school. | ||
| So it's all these school kids. | ||
| That's where I surfed. | ||
| I went in with the local kids, and they're all in the water, and they're fucking out there. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I'm out there trying to catch a wave, and they go, park! | ||
| And you see them all going back. | ||
| I'm like, why are they going deeper into the ocean? | ||
| I see this fucking huge wave coming at me. | ||
| And they're all catching it, holding hands, jumping on each other's boards. | ||
| My mom says, we have more and more wave, then we have to go do homework. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're shredding. | |
| They're surfing backwards on purpose. | ||
| They're having the most fun of their lives. | ||
| And they're out there during shark mating season. | ||
| They go hard in Hawaii. | ||
| Those kids don't give a fuck. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so cool. | |
| During shark mating season. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, sharktober. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| I was out there, too. | ||
| I caught some waves. | ||
| How often does someone get taken? | ||
| They said, like, I feel like every year they said they hear about a shark bite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or the drownings happen often, I think, because a lot of tourists are there. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| How many people get bitten by sharks every year? | ||
| And we'll look at that first, and then we'll go to just Hawaii. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know Florida, it's been happening more and more. | ||
| If you had to guess, yeah, it's been happening more and more. | ||
| I would say... | ||
| How many people get bit every year? | ||
| 40 a year in Hawaii. | ||
| 30? | ||
| 40? | ||
| Really? | ||
| In Hawaii? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think it's that many. | |
| I mean, in the United States. | ||
| Oh, in the whole country. | ||
| Yeah, and I would say 10 to 20 in Florida and the rest in Hawaii. | ||
| I think 20 a year. | ||
| Yeah, I would say 40 total and 20 in the East Coast and the West Coast. | ||
| I want to say it's less than 10 a year in this country. | ||
| I think since the water's gotten warmer, they're coming in closer now. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, maybe. | ||
| There's been more lately, I think. | ||
| Also, like, we stopped eating shark fin soup and they got cocky. | ||
| Yeah, we should go back. | ||
| I heard it's really good for you. | ||
| Shark fin soup? | ||
| Yeah, that was part of the problem. | ||
| One of the reasons why people started saying that you shouldn't kill sharks is because they were killing a lot of sharks and then just chopping their fins off to make shark fin soup. | ||
| It's a delicacy. | ||
| I wonder if it's good. | ||
| Not only is it a delicacy, my dad told me to correct this because I used to say on a podcast that shark fin cured my asthma, but it wasn't shark fin, it was shark liver oil. | ||
| So he wanted me to correct that one. | ||
| It was very important to him. | ||
| And he said that a lot of people use shark fin as a like... | ||
| Aphrodisiac? | ||
| Dick lengthening? | ||
| What's that medicine? | ||
| That you take for Viagra? | ||
| You get hard from the dick from shark fin? | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| They say that about everything that's endangered. | ||
| That they want people to take because men will take it. | ||
| It's like rhino horn. | ||
| That's what they say about fucking tiger paw. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, men will do anything to keep their dicks hard. | ||
| They'll get rid of rhinos. | ||
| Before Viagra, they were fucking terrified. | ||
| They're like, what is happening? | ||
| What do I got? | ||
| I got nothing. | ||
| I got nothing going on now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so then they're like, someone needs to get rhino horn. | ||
| I heard the sin of a shark. | ||
| They sit around the campfire and drink rhino horn. | ||
| They're like, which animal should we punish for this? | ||
| We've got shark facts from Field and Stream. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| There's some interesting ones. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| First of all, you're seven times more likely to be hit by lightning than be bitten at all by a shark. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| Okay, but that's not that many more times. | ||
| I also was trying to figure out how they've checked some of these numbers. | ||
| In 2022, there's 57 unprovoked shark attacks. | ||
| What is a provoked shark attack? | ||
| Probably fishing for a shark. | ||
| You're trying to catch it and then it bites you. | ||
| There's different numbers for that I checked. | ||
| I was going to save that for the end. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| 70 unprovoked shark attacks annually, leading to between five and six deaths per year. | ||
| 2022, there were 57 such attacks, a 10-year low. | ||
| So while the risk is certainly there, it's relatively small. | ||
| Here's a breakdown of how many shark attacks per year take place based on the latest information. | ||
| So it gives countries first and then states. | ||
| Before I showed you states, I was going to let you guess because it's a little surprising. | ||
| States? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The most attacks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| North Carolina. | ||
| It's in the top five. | ||
| California. | ||
| It's not in the top five, I don't think. | ||
| It only showed seven. | ||
| Florida. | ||
| Florida's number one, obviously. | ||
| So what would be number two? | ||
| California. | ||
| South Carolina. | ||
| New York? | ||
| New York, really? | ||
| New York's number two. | ||
| New York's a wild guess. | ||
| So it shows New York number two at eight. | ||
| Hawaii, dude! | ||
| Hawaii, five, but only one fatality. | ||
| I wasn't even thinking Alabama. | ||
| These numbers were from Florida's information from UF, Florida University. | ||
| Texas is crazy. | ||
| But how can you get bit by a shark? | ||
| Unprovoked bites. | ||
| If you get bit by a shark in Texas, you're just unlucky. | ||
| I don't know what to say. | ||
| You're an idiot. | ||
| We have sharks out there. | ||
| We have beaches down in a tiny part of Texas. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but they have like boat bites. | ||
| There's four boat bites. | ||
| That they bite boats? | ||
| Like that one that we played? | ||
| Unprovoked bites is also divers, Joe. | ||
| People that go into their environment and then get attacked. | ||
| Not people that are just swimming on the beach. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which makes sense. | ||
| Also, I don't know. | ||
| While unhooking or removing. | ||
| Trying to touch sharks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bites on spear fishers. | ||
| Bites on people attempting to feed sharks. | ||
| Like that guy who lost his pinky. | ||
| Do you think he reported that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good call. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have you spearfished, Joe? | ||
| No, I have not. | ||
| It's supposed to be really fun. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It looks awesome. | ||
| I really want to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It looks really fun. | ||
| It's like archery underwater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what most of my friends have done. | ||
| Everyone says it's so fun. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that spearfish in Florida. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, Florida is an awesome place to do it, right? | ||
| There's these videos of this girl on TikTok, and she swims in her grandparents' Everglades. | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, and there's another dude, and he literally goes into the Everglades barefoot at night and waddles in the water and picks up snakes and bugs and frogs, and it's his whole TikTok. | ||
| He's an 18-year-old kid, and he's picking up baby sharks, and he's like, oh, uh-uh, look over there. | ||
| And then it'll be like, argh, and it's like a huge fucking alligator coming to pick up its baby. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
| It's a whole TikTok. | ||
| I started following him. | ||
| It's like Steve Irwin energy? | ||
| It's Steve Irwin if Steve Irwin was making the worst choices of his life. | ||
| He's picking up poisonous snakes. | ||
| Eventually he's gonna get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's gonna get it. | ||
| Dude, I almost got eaten by an alligator when I was eight years old. | ||
| Camping with my friend. | ||
| My best friend's mom dared us to jump into the water at night into the Everglades. | ||
| We were in the springs of Florida. | ||
| That's a crazy thing to dare your children to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She was on... | ||
| She was on Mommy Wine on vacation and was like, I dare you guys to jump into the springs because the thing is, anybody who's from Florida knows if you're at the springs, you can canoe through the part that's like the Everglades and there's sharks and stuff, and then you go off and there's side springs that are clear and you can see through them and you can swim there, but you should know that maybe a gator could show up, but you can see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that's where we'd swim and stuff. | ||
| And so the giant swimming hole you could see through. | ||
| But at night, she just had us fucking in there. | ||
| Is this the Everglades kid, I think? | ||
| I mean, this is a videographer who's making really cool videos in Everglades. | ||
| No, I've seen this guy too, but this is not my kid. | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
| He's only 19. What's that guy's name? | ||
| Lucas Martinez? | ||
| Luca Martinez? | ||
| I've seen this kid's stuff. | ||
| LucaMartinez.fl. | ||
| This stuff is amazing, though. | ||
| Yeah, he makes incredible videos. | ||
| But look at him, just in the Everglades. | ||
| He's got a drone. | ||
| Oh, that's badass. | ||
| Yeah, his footage is wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit, this is incredible. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is incredible footage. | ||
| The other kid, you should pull him up. | ||
| Look at that alligator swimming in the water. | ||
| His videos are beautiful. | ||
| How badass is that footage? | ||
| I know. | ||
| And he's so young. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a cool thing to get interested in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was trying to find it. | ||
| He has that video on his side of those two bears going after it. | ||
| That's one of the wildest videos ever. | ||
| Watch these two bears just fighting over mating rights. | ||
| No. | ||
| Bears fight crazy, too. | ||
| They fight with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They have a guard. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Yeah, they're trying to trip each other and shit. | ||
| Yeah, you can see them grab each other's shoulders. | ||
| Bears fight crazy. | ||
| He's got his own footage from there. | ||
| Oh, he's got his own footage from Alaska as well? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Wow, look at that bear. | ||
| This kid should work for National Geographic. | ||
| Maybe he might. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he might. | |
| Maybe just keep doing this for himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't let anybody tell you what to do. | ||
| You're doing it perfect. | ||
| He is, actually. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're right, Joe. | ||
| That's a good lesson. | ||
| That's a wild place. | ||
| You ever been to Alaska? | ||
| No, I've never been. | ||
| Oh my God, it's so amazing. | ||
| I've heard it's amazing. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And the people there are different. | ||
| Is that where the Northern Lights are? | ||
| They definitely have them up there in some places. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, some parts of the... | ||
| I think the best place to see them... | ||
| Isn't it in like... | ||
| Norway or some shit? | ||
| Yeah, like Iceland and shit like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the best place. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| I want to go. | ||
| It sounds a little cold. | ||
| I usually, if I have a choice to go somewhere, it's usually a warm water area. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a water girl. | ||
| It's a tough sell to go and suffer on a vacation. | ||
| Yeah, just for a beautiful view. | ||
| Fairbanks, Alaska. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I mean, I have to see that once. | ||
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| It's one of the best places in the world to see them. | ||
| Oh, Fairbanks. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Are they selling it? | ||
| Is this Fairbanks Times? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Fairbanks.com. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That looks awesome. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Fairbanks, Alaska it is. | ||
| Norway. | ||
| Catch me there. | ||
| We should do a JRE trip. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| We'll go up there with a fucking giant crew of people. | ||
| That'd be so fun. | ||
| That'd be so magical. | ||
| A bunch of mushrooms in Norway? | ||
| That's the Iceland place. | ||
| How do you say that word? | ||
| Reykjavik? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Reykjavik. | |
| A bunch of lion's mane. | ||
| Iceland. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Sick. | ||
| And that's like not even a bullshit CGI filter. | ||
| I mean, if I saw that and I didn't know what it was, I'd be like the aliens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're here! | |
| That's it. | ||
| My dad is claiming he's seeing aliens every night. | ||
| He's a fisherman, so he lives in the water. | ||
| But he's claiming he sees aliens, and he's letting other people know, and there's Facebook groups about it, and he can see them at night, and they have a ship, and it's doing a repetitive thing in the sky, and all these people are trying to take pictures of it, and they can't, and he's got this whole thing about it. | ||
| He's been calling me consistently about it. | ||
| Jeff loves to talk aliens. | ||
| Yeah, because he lives in the ocean pretty much at night, so he's like, I've seen crazy shit. | ||
| I believe him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He says that there's like a ship. | ||
| It looks like a ship in the sky almost. | ||
| And he says... | ||
| I don't even remember. | ||
| When he explains it to me, it sounds like a dad trying to... | ||
| He's like, the carburetor. | ||
| It's like on a... | ||
| He's like saying things like that. | ||
| And I'm like, okay. | ||
| And he keeps saying that there's like a repetitive process. | ||
| Like he could see the ships ran by an energy and then it builds and builds and then almost explodes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it gets ran by the same energy again. | ||
| He's like, I'm watching it, how it's running and staying going. | ||
| Did he film this? | ||
| He said he tried to film it and it doesn't come out on his phone very well. | ||
| And he's like, I keep posting what I filmed online and people are calling me crazy because they can't really see what I'm saying. | ||
| He needs a Samsung phone so you can zoom in on that motherfucker. | ||
| I don't think he even has the latest iPhone. | ||
| He doesn't even have a phone with a good camera. | ||
| He's like an old fisherman. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's probably part of it too. | ||
| If you keep seeing it though, you should get him a camera. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Get him like a really good camera with a zoom lens. | ||
| Something where you could, like a little handy cam. | ||
| He said at one point he got so nervous, he kind of felt thankful he couldn't get a video. | ||
| He was like, I don't even know if I want to have the video. | ||
| Like, it makes me nervous to put it out. | ||
| He's fully convinced it's alien ships in the sky. | ||
| And he's like, I know I sound crazy. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't sound that crazy. | ||
| It doesn't. | ||
| See, I go back and forth on Aliens. | ||
| Jamie does, too. | ||
| We were just talking about it the other day. | ||
| Jamie was like, one day I'm in, and then two days later I'm like, nope, I'm out. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| I'm always in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's bullshit. | |
| I'm always in. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| I think there's a high possibility that the United States government has developed some sort of a drone that operates on a propulsion system that is not understood by the general public. | ||
| I think it's some sort of a gravity-defying propulsion system, which is something they theorized and they've been working on for a long fucking time. | ||
| This is something that they theorized a long time ago. | ||
| If I was the government and I had the ability to run secret programs... | ||
| What kind of system? | ||
| It would have to be something that instead of using a propulsion system like an internal combustion engine, which is like what rockets are and what gasoline powered cars are, essentially with rockets, you know, you're shooting something out the back that makes you go this way. | ||
| What these things are doing is changing gravity around them. | ||
| That's what he said he's seeing. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| He said it looks like it's using the energy from the gravity as a vacuum and then spitting it back out. | ||
| What these things supposedly can do is the way it's described by Bob Lazar, who is this gentleman who claimed to work at Area 51, Area S4. If you had like a soft mattress and you put a bowling ball in the mattress, it would pull everything towards the bowling ball. | ||
| And what these things are doing is finding a point in space and pulling space and time together. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| So they're moving at insane rates of speed. | ||
| The question is, if they have these things in the sky, and they've had them for a long time, if they've had them since the TikTok video, which was Commander David Fravor in 2004 off the coast of San Diego, They viewed this thing. | ||
| They had multiple jets that were viewing it, plus there was two other sources of data, including video. | ||
| So they had radar on this thing that made it go from—they showed it went from 50,000 feet above sea level, above 50,000 feet, to about 50 in a second, or less than a second. | ||
| As quick as it took to register, this thing had appeared. | ||
| And then they go to where this thing is. | ||
| They see it hovering over something that looks like a ship that's underwater. | ||
| The thing turns towards them. | ||
| They have this thing on video and then takes off at a rate of speed that if there was people inside of it, they would become jelly. | ||
| The gravity would literally turn you into pink mist. | ||
| Right, like it can't be human. | ||
| And this thing just... | ||
| Pink mist? | ||
| That was visceral. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This thing just disappears. | |
| Tim Burchette tells Tucker Carlson, he's talking to Speaker Johnson about UFO Disclosure Act. | ||
| He says, all I want is transparency. | ||
| We're not going to bring in a UFO. We're not going to bring in little green men, the Tennessee congressman said about his legislation. | ||
| Look how angry they all look. | ||
| Everyone calm down. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| If these guys are Congress, right? | ||
| If Congress... | ||
| Is not being given access to something that the military has. | ||
| They're like, why? | ||
| We're supposed to oversee all this. | ||
| You're supposed to run your budgets through us. | ||
| We're supposed to be informed. | ||
| You can't hide this. | ||
| Well, maybe the aliens are above Congress. | ||
| I think they probably thought they were for a long time, but I think they're saying that that's not legal. | ||
| Not that aliens are breaking the law. | ||
| No, the congressmen are saying that the people that are hiding this information from them are breaking the law. | ||
| You've got to tell Congress what's going on with aliens so they can make some good choices. | ||
| Well, I mean, I would want to know. | ||
| If I was a congressman, I would want to know. | ||
| Can we get these guys to tell us? | ||
| Tell me what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Is this bullshit so I can just ignore it? | ||
| Some sort of psyop? | ||
| I'm not a congresswoman and I still want to fucking know. | ||
| I've had members of Congress say, Burchette, we need to be on something important, a congressman said. | ||
| Well, let me ask you, what's more important than something in our airspace buzzing, 50, 60 million aircraft putting American pilots at risk? | ||
| 50, 60 million? | ||
| What? | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That we don't know who it is or what it is, and then we have a government that claims they don't exist? | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| 50, 60 million aircraft putting American pilots at risk? | ||
| It's a little hard to read his words. | ||
| He might have been saying multiple things at once and they just put the words together. | ||
| No, I think I see what he's saying. | ||
| If I phrased it differently or if I used different intonation. | ||
| I think he's saying there's 50, 60 million aircraft are out there and putting American pilots at risk. | ||
| I think he's probably saying that. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He's saying there's a bunch of planes going. | ||
| There's so many planes. | ||
| He's putting them at risk. | ||
| Even 60 million planes is kind of crazy. | ||
| I think he's crazy. | ||
| It's a little crazy. | ||
| Bro, have you seen JetBlue? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're hurting. | |
| They have four flights, please. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Yeah, Spirit Airlines. | ||
| I can't get to Texas without doing two stops now. | ||
| Spirit Airlines will fuck you up. | ||
| I haven't even looked spirits away in a while. | ||
| Once you start making money, a little bit. | ||
| Not even making money. | ||
| It's 20 extra dollars to not have to deal with their shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's really, by the time you pay for your bags and the waters. | |
| They have the best videos of fights, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best videos of fights takes place. | |
| They have the best drama. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| A new guy, Karen, recently went viral. | ||
| He snatched a phone. | ||
| He was getting kicked off the plane and someone was recording it and he snatched the girl's phone on the way out and started deleting her video. | ||
| Spirit Airlines is like a Black Friday sale all the time. | ||
| People are fighting over toilet paper during COVID. Black Friday was like, this was the first Thanksgiving they were saying that it wasn't like insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh really? | |
| No, nobody was. | ||
| The economy's fucked up right now. | ||
| Inflation! | ||
| That's how you know it's bad. | ||
| If we're behaving on Black Friday, you know things are getting bad. | ||
| Yeah, the economy sucks right now for a lot of people. | ||
| That's why it's so offensive when you see the White House going to be like, economy is fantastic! | ||
| We've created more jobs! | ||
| What jobs? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Eggs are $14. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Eggs are so expensive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't want to hear about the economy. | |
| A lot of chickens died, unfortunately. | ||
| From what? | ||
| From avian flu or something. | ||
| There was a chicken die-off. | ||
| Well, they die off every few years. | ||
| There was also a fire at one of the chicken plants that killed something like 100,000 chickens. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Are all of our chickens coming from just a few plants? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Oh my god, well that's a problem. | ||
| I would imagine there's many places that provide eggs, but there are a lot of eggs that come from these massive plants. | ||
| Wait, I think we need to spread out the chicken a little. | ||
| When this one plant, like how many chickens died when this fire broke out? | ||
| Isn't this what happened to the Irish? | ||
| It was something bananas when they had to eat potatoes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Potato famine? | ||
| They need to spread it out a little. | ||
| What happened with the Irish? | ||
| It was one thing got infected, one thing got, and then the whole crop was gone. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And, but that's why we shouldn't keep everything we need in one place. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Which is why I'm saying we need to spread the chickens. | ||
| But the reason why it's all in one place is because of corporations. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Capitalism, sweetie! | ||
| Yeah, I fucking need communism. | ||
| Also, sometimes it can only grow and live in certain places, too. | ||
| Chickens? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Those motherfuckers can live everywhere. | ||
| The Connecticut Chicken Fire factory farm killed 100,000 egg-laying hens. | ||
| There are, according to the USDA, 372 million egg-laying hens in the United States. | ||
| Oh my god, there's more egg-laying hens than there are people. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say, is it inhumane of me to be like, 100,000 is not that bad? | ||
| I feel like there's a lot of chickens. | ||
| Well, there are a lot of chickens. | ||
| I saw $100,000 in Puerto Rico in April when I was there. | ||
| Yeah, Puerto Rico. | ||
| Hawaii has that too. | ||
| Yeah, Kauai. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| The roosters are kind of hot. | ||
| They're way hotter than the hens. | ||
| Sarah was taking so many pictures of roosters, I almost called the police on her. | ||
| I was like, stop looking at the roosters like that. | ||
| That's a handsome She was like, I like that he's showing off for the women. | ||
| I was like, okay. | ||
| We need to go find men. | ||
| Who makes that song, Here Comes the Rooster? | ||
| Is that Alice in Chains? | ||
| That's a good fucking song. | ||
| Here comes a rooster. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| That's a good fucking song. | ||
| Yeah, that is a good one. | ||
| Because roosters are hot. | ||
| These motherfuckers made the kind of music that you make when you're doing a lot of drugs. | ||
| I wish I could have partied and went to a heavy metal concert in the 80s. | ||
| Alice in Chains I wouldn't consider heavy metal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| No. | ||
| They're more like... | ||
| I would say more like grunge metal. | ||
| Grunge rock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When they were starting, they didn't know what grunge was, I don't think, so they weren't calling it that. | ||
| Yeah, they were just doing I'm depressed music. | ||
| They just called it rock then? | ||
| I live in Seattle and I do heroin music. | ||
| Was this called standard rock? | ||
| They would just call it rock music? | ||
| Well, when grunge came along, it fucked up like hair bands, that's for sure. | ||
| Because it was so real. | ||
| So before that, no disrespect to hair bands. | ||
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| Like poison. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In the 80s. | |
| You know, that kind of stuff. | ||
| Guys wearing makeup. | ||
| They had crazy hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kiss. | |
| No, they were wearing crazy makeup to hide their face. | ||
| Like Def Leppard? | ||
| These guys were wearing eyeliner and lipstick. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| It was like glam. | ||
| And they had big fucking hair. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was a show. | ||
| And they were wearing like tight leather pants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that was like hair bands. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| It was superficial songs. | ||
| And then all of a sudden Nirvana came along. | ||
| And Nirvana came along and just put the fucking stopper on the whole hair band generation. | ||
| It just... | ||
| We can't do a crash because Nirvana was so good. | ||
| People were like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| This makes me think different. | ||
| This music is insane. | ||
| They felt something for the first time. | ||
| They had eyeliner in the hand. | ||
| They slowly put it down. | ||
| They're like, oh. | ||
| I would specifically work out to Nirvana. | ||
| It hits different. | ||
| If you do a cycling class to Nirvana, it's amazing. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| There's real pain in that music. | ||
| Yeah, it's beautiful. | ||
| There's something in... | ||
| Some people just have the ability through their music to just make you feel different. | ||
| They've come to snuff the rooster. | ||
| Yeah, they were on drugs. | ||
| The video is a Vietnam war footage footio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, here come the rooster. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Tim Kennedy used to fight in the UFC. | ||
| He used to always come into this song. | ||
| And he would walk into the octagon at that moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like you would time it. | |
| That song's pretty good though. | ||
| It's a badass song. | ||
| If you're doing cardio, you will ramp up your fucking pace when you hear this song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, yeah, you have to do it for America, apparently. | ||
| If you don't do it, you don't love your country. | ||
| If you don't come to snuff the rooster when you go to the gym, are you even working out? | ||
| That's about Vietnam, too, which is a tough one to be on side of America. | ||
| I'm up for the troops, but get out of there. | ||
| Who sent you there? | ||
| It's a lot of stuff like that for me. | ||
| That's the scariest one, because they did it on a false flag. | ||
| The rooster was Jerry Cantrell Sr. Who served with the US Army during the Vietnam War. | ||
| Rooster was a childhood nickname. | ||
| The war is like space to me. | ||
| I'm like, if I can't physically go see what's happening, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess you could fluff up the pictures. | |
| The Vietnam War is a weird one. | ||
| Because that one, they literally faked an attack to get us to go to Vietnam. | ||
| You know, I hate to be on mushrooms about it, but why when we don't have to? | ||
| We could all just be happy. | ||
| Well, the problem is, it seems like the default behavior of human beings, when they get control over giant groups of human beings, is to control them tightly, more tightly than ever, every time, and then also try to invade. | ||
| Try to steal other people's resources, try to control something. | ||
| It's so barbaric. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's very Roman Empire of us. | |
| And just not. | ||
| I think it's possible to have not... | ||
| But I think it's gonna require the next stage of whatever human beings are currently doing right now. | ||
| People scoff at the thought of world peace. | ||
| No, we need an evolution, like a spiritual awakening, like a deeper... | ||
| We need a restart. | ||
| It seems very... | ||
| We need tomorrow. | ||
| It seems very early man to just be blowing each other up. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like it doesn't seem very evolved of us. | ||
| We shouldn't have iPhones and be blowing each other up. | ||
| It seems very low vibrational. | ||
| Very low vibrational. | ||
| It's not what a jellyfish would do. | ||
| I think human beings are all going to connect in the near future, like within the next 50 years. | ||
| We're going to connect through something that we carry around or have an implant. | ||
| It's the aliens. | ||
| And it locks us into each other. | ||
| And if you could do that, it would make war impossible. | ||
| It would be literally like sharing thoughts with each other. | ||
| Shared consciousness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would think it would change the way people feel about people. | ||
| You would know everything about everyone. | ||
| There'd be no more secrets. | ||
| Everything you're thinking, whoever you are, what your essence is, what your motivation really is, what your thoughts really are, everyone will see everything. | ||
| You know, I've always said that people could look into my brain because I feel like I'm pretty straightforward. | ||
| Whatever I say is how I'm Yeah, you're not really like a mixing up words type of person. | ||
| But it's very different than being able to understand how you think. | ||
| I would rather that people see in my head because I feel like I'm actually so straightforward that people think that there's more inside and it's actually meaner than it is. | ||
| But I'm like, oh no, this is like all of it. | ||
| Like when I say something and people are like, oh, that was kind of blunt. | ||
| She must be holding a lot in. | ||
| I'm like, no, that was it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was it. | |
| I'm telling you the truth. | ||
| I'm just not fluffing anything. | ||
| No, because the way Kim texts, right when we first became friends, I was like, is she matched? | ||
| She'll just be like, okay, with a period. | ||
| I'm like, okay in a heart. | ||
| She's like, wonderful morning. | ||
| If the skies are blue, then so are you. | ||
| Would you like a taco? | ||
| Mrs. Waffle. | ||
| And I'm like, egg taco. | ||
| I'm like, XO! She talks like a dude. | ||
| Yeah, she talks like a dude. | ||
| Yeah, I just don't have time. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I would rather a phone call, personally. | ||
| That's all Joey Diaz does. | ||
| He texts a little now. | ||
| I text him very rarely. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Things like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he likes to call. | ||
| I'm not going to lie. | ||
| The first time I got a text from Joey, I was shocked. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was like, I didn't even know he knew how to do that. | ||
| He used to get mad at us. | ||
| He used to get mad. | ||
| Don't send me a fucking text message. | ||
| He'd get mad at you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because that was back when you had to do it with your thumbs. | ||
| You know, like T9. Remember? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember those days? | ||
| He's the only guy that calls me regularly just to check in. | ||
| Yeah, he's the best. | ||
| He's sweet. | ||
| Well, most of my people are friends. | ||
| I just see regularly. | ||
| But out of the people I don't see, he's... | ||
| I'll call you to check in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little too much. | |
| A phone rang the other day at my friend's house. | ||
| They were like, that's Sarah, isn't it? | ||
| I was like, yeah, it's my old ball and chain. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| I'm like, did you see the email? | ||
| I also texted you about the email. | ||
| She'll text me something, email it to me, and then call me to read me both the text and the email about all this. | ||
| I'm on it, sweetie. | ||
| I'm efficient. | ||
| I notice all the emails. | ||
| This bitch, she'll be like, oh, there's an email? | ||
| It's like, yeah, check your inbox. | ||
| I thought this podcast was tomorrow. | ||
| No, she actually did. | ||
| I am... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| We're literally a very... | ||
| Talk about trying to stay away from Adderall. | ||
| I am extremely ADD. I get overwhelmed by too much information, too many emails. | ||
| I also don't understand why Gmail's like the number one email thing, and when I click on the email, it doesn't immediately go to the latest email. | ||
| It goes to the top so that I have to scroll through every email to find what we're even... | ||
| Yeah, it's the worst fucking... | ||
| Are you talking about when you open a thread? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't go to the latest email. | ||
| Why? | ||
| If you're the biggest email company, why would that not be the thing? | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| I can barely understand what the problem is. | ||
| Yeah, this is so technical. | ||
| The way you're explaining it is just above us. | ||
| If I go to an email to find... | ||
| I have to pee so bad that I can't listen to this right now. | ||
| Go pee. | ||
| Okay, you guys talk amongst yourselves. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, go pee. | ||
| We'll hold it down. | ||
| We'll start our periods together. | ||
| Oh, hell yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna hit the salts. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| Alright, ready? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Give me a countdown. | ||
| Daddy's gone. | ||
| This bitch podcast anywhere on YouTube. | ||
| The takeover, guys. | ||
| The King Cognon takeover. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shank. | |
| Shank podcast. | ||
| I'm filming my special December 7th, Childless Milf. | ||
| And also, January 14th, Comedy Store, Main Room, This Bitch and Friends. | ||
| Also... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope this pee's long because we have a lot of plugs. | |
| two days after Christmas Brea Improv KimCongdon.com for show dates Childless Milf please check out my special everyone please Childless Milf on YouTube it's coming out in the new year this bitch this bitch podcast oh no did you almost drink that Sometimes you want to promote a show and you accidentally try to drink your salts. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That one fucked me up. | ||
| It looks like meth. | ||
| I'm not gonna lie. | ||
| The inside of it looks like something... | ||
| It's giving Breaking Bad. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like something that's been fossil. | ||
| Very Walter White. | ||
| Jamie, you want one? | ||
| Come on, Jamie! | ||
| Have some fun with the girls. | ||
| Come on, Jamie! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I almost started this thing. | |
| I know exactly what it is. | ||
| I can't get into my other one because it's deviated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll undeviate your septum. | |
| I fucked up. | ||
| I'm sorry, I fucked up. | ||
| She looks like she's doing a guest star in Succession. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| Look at her outfit. | ||
| Don't hurt yourself. | ||
| I want daddy's business. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't know, isn't that what Succession's about? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. | ||
| I want daddy's business. | ||
| I'm the eldest son. | ||
| We took it too far. | ||
| We took the salts too far. | ||
| Oh my god, I'm crying. | ||
| They're so strong. | ||
| My god. | ||
| You're not supposed to do two a day. | ||
| What? | ||
| She closed the nostril too. | ||
| That might be a deal. | ||
| You're not supposed to do two a day? | ||
| I think two a day is the maximum. | ||
| I'm dizzy. | ||
| Isn't two a day the maximum? | ||
| It suggests you don't do it more than twice in a day. | ||
| Suggests. | ||
| Your eyes are red. | ||
| Look at your eyes. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Both of you, you look stoned. | ||
| We went through a lot while you were gone, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I thought she ate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| We're off the salt, sweetie. | ||
| Yeah, I told you they're different. | ||
| But they're addicting. | ||
| Yeah, what's going on? | ||
| In a good way. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| Well, this is good. | ||
| This hits where a comet needs to get hit. | ||
| It's a brain wake up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, here we go. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, shit, man. | ||
| It clears it out, right? | ||
| Doesn't it feel like you could fucking rip a tree out of the ground? | ||
| Oh, well that's why they use it before they deadlift. | ||
| That's what this is for. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| You could rip a tree out of the ground, actually. | ||
| How do you say his name? | ||
| Juju Mufu? | ||
| What? | ||
| This guy is... | ||
| Juju Mufu? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's an insane name! | |
| He's a super jacked powerlifter guy who does all these acrobatic things. | ||
| He's an amazing specimen, but this is his company. | ||
| Thank you, Juju Mufu! | ||
| Shout out to Juju Mufu! | ||
| Show who this guy is. | ||
| I love that name. | ||
| It rolls right off the tongue. | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| We're going to be okay. | ||
| I was reading to make sure we're fine. | ||
| Juju Mufu. | ||
| What is it like? | ||
| Is Juju Mufu single? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like salt problems, just making sure you guys aren't going away. | |
| Oh, can we get a problem? | ||
| People get problems, like addictions? | ||
| Toxic large concentrations for prolonged periods can be fatal, but that's not. | ||
| Oh, okay, we should know that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think Juju Mufu should give me a warning. | |
| Show me Juju Mufu. | ||
| Yeah, this is not for everybody, you know? | ||
| I wouldn't give it to Keith Robinson. | ||
| This is Juju Mufu. | ||
| When I see him... | ||
| Full squats while he's pressing weight over his head. | ||
| Yeah, he's definitely on smelling stuff. | ||
| That's what it makes me feel like. | ||
| That's 100 kilos. | ||
| So that's 220 pounds over his head while he's doing a full split. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Juju Mufu's nuts! | |
| I wasn't even ready for... | ||
| Look at that flexibility. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| With that muscle mass? | ||
| Joe. | ||
| I told you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Juju Mufu... | |
| Yeah, I told you. | ||
| Another fucking level. | ||
| Okay, you told us that he owned the salt company, but you didn't tell us he was going to be full split. | ||
| I told you he was an athletic freak. | ||
| I did tell you he was an athletic freak. | ||
| Yeah, but once you see it, it hits different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| Well, you can see all the different shit that he does. | ||
| Wow, he is a freak. | ||
| Oh, he does a lot of wild shit. | ||
| Show some of the lifting stuff that he does. | ||
| Yeah, this is the kind of salts that Juju Mufu could handle, not me. | ||
| Juju Mufu, are you single? | ||
| So a guy like this... | ||
| They're carrying rocks. | ||
| This is a guy like this you would imagine would create a smelling salt that would fucking knock your teeth out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I see him, I'm like, maybe I should stop doing these salts. | |
| Me too. | ||
| This is a real man, man. | ||
| That's a manly man. | ||
| That's a manly man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guy, imagine someone messing with this guy. | ||
| Imagine your ex-boyfriend comes with me and he's like, Hey, I heard you're dating my girlfriend and it's Juju Mufu. | ||
| No. | ||
| Besides that fucker. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| What'd your husband do this morning? | ||
| Oh, he moved a boulder from the bottom of the road to the top of the road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He had the salts and moved a boulder. | |
| Ah, Juju Mufu. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I like... | ||
| If he was my man, I'd have him in a man bun. | ||
| I like any guy. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I like guys... | ||
| Put your hair up, Mufu! | ||
| If I'm with a guy, he has to be able to kill another man or I'm not into it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like not into it at all. | ||
| If I think I could beat him up or he can't kill another man, I'm not. | ||
| I'm gone. | ||
| Well, that's also a problem with you've been doing jiu-jitsu for a while. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once you've been doing jiu-jitsu for a while, you kind of... | ||
| It's hard to go back. | ||
| It's kind of like hanging out with comics. | ||
| You know, when you hang out with comics, sometimes it's hard to hang out with people who aren't comics. | ||
| It is true. | ||
| I've been dating guys who do MMA and it hits different. | ||
| I haven't trained in almost a year. | ||
| It literally hits different. | ||
| Yeah, they're animals. | ||
| I haven't trained in a while. | ||
| I'm going back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Going back? | ||
| I'm going back. | ||
| I miss my school. | ||
| Not interested. | ||
| Not interested. | ||
| Yeah, it's not for everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I love that. | ||
| I have fake nails. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It really tires me out. | ||
| Custom mothership nails. | ||
| Custom mothership, alien, and a UFO. Yeah, you can't do that in jujitsu. | ||
| Do you guys believe in UFOs? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Do you think your dad's crazy, or do you think your dad's telling the truth? | ||
| Both my parents have crazy claims that they've experienced aliens. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I believe in UFOs. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Did you ever ask to go out with them? | ||
| On the boat? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I don't want to. | ||
| But what if he keeps seeing these things? | ||
| How often does he see them? | ||
| He says I don't even have to go out far to see them. | ||
| How often does he see them? | ||
| He saw them every night for three months. | ||
| Every night. | ||
| I'm sure I could call him right now. | ||
| Is this in Florida or Puerto Rico? | ||
| This is in Florida. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said he saw him every night. | ||
| He started putting him on Facebook pages and then other people started claiming they were seeing them and describing them the same way. | ||
| If you were going to do something, if you were from another planet, wouldn't you do something at night over the ocean? | ||
| Nobody would even be paying attention. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly when I would do it. | ||
| That's when I would do it, too. | ||
| And especially you have bad phone service. | ||
| It's one of the places you know people don't have great phone service. | ||
| And a lot of fishermen don't have the best cameras and phones. | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| What kind of satellite surveillance does the U.S. government currently have? | ||
| What can they see? | ||
| Because if they can see everything... | ||
| I think they're in this room right now. | ||
| They can see everything that's happening. | ||
| They definitely can do that. | ||
| But when you're looking at the Earth as a whole, can they see the whole ocean? | ||
| Can they see it in high definition? | ||
| What can they see? | ||
| Can they see through it like the fish swimming around? | ||
| Do they have to... | ||
| I don't think they can do that yet. | ||
| But do they have to be able to pinpoint on a coordinate and then make the satellite turn towards that area? | ||
| How does it work? | ||
| If someone sights a UFO, can they see it? | ||
| And if they can... | ||
| What do they have? | ||
| What videos do you motherfuckers have? | ||
| Five years ago, this will just give you one example. | ||
| This is just what's public on YouTube from five years ago. | ||
| This is going to zoom in on someone. | ||
| So this is a spy satellite? | ||
| Yeah, it'll zoom in on someone here at a bus stop right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| enhance And hence enhance why you can get in on like And that's from that satellite. | ||
| Oh my god, they're zooming in from the sky. | ||
| I think you can get closer than this too, but this is like just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is in the sun. | |
| They can read the text? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They could read the text on the phone from the satellite in the sky. | ||
| That is fucking nuts! | ||
| That is fucked up! | ||
| That just tripped me out! | ||
| No way! | ||
| Okay, so if they can do this, and if you're a fisherman, and you report the coordinates... | ||
| I just got chills throughout my entire body. | ||
| That's insane that they can do that. | ||
| Okay, so what I'm saying is, what do they see? | ||
| What aren't they? | ||
| Do they have any video of these things? | ||
| Like, imagine if they have high-resolution photographs like that of these crafts. | ||
| When I think about what they have, I feel like they're so far ahead. | ||
| They know so much that we look like... | ||
| Have you ever seen a kid trying to figure something out? | ||
| And you're like, it's so cute that they think that they're almost there. | ||
| We're like little ants. | ||
| Yeah, and they're like playing house in the kitchen. | ||
| They're like, I made a grilled cheese. | ||
| And you're like, that's really a grilled cheese. | ||
| Good job. | ||
| And it's not even like a sandwich. | ||
| They're not even making a grilled cheese in a real kitchen. | ||
| And they're like, so they think they made a meal. | ||
| I think that's what we look like to them. | ||
| We're like, do we think there's aliens? | ||
| And they're probably like the aliens like watching us. | ||
| Like, who knows? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I think they're so far beyond anything we could even comprehend. | ||
| Sometimes when I get high and I'm, like, on my laptop, I'm like, are they looking at me? | ||
| And then I'm like, I'm not that interesting to watch. | ||
| They cloned a sheep in the early 90s and never talked about it again. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Never talked about it again. | ||
| What about people who clone their dogs? | ||
| There's a lot of people who clone their dogs now. | ||
| I love my dog. | ||
| I'd like to clone him. | ||
| But that's exactly what they want. | ||
| They want these conversations and not like, how advanced did they take that? | ||
| And then one day your dog's like sitting at the foot of your bed just staring at it in the middle of the night. | ||
| Scary! | ||
| And it barks, but its mouth doesn't move. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| You got a new dog. | ||
| It's a clone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's Roscoe. | |
| It's just like your old dog. | ||
| Roscoe's back. | ||
| Her dog is a reincarnated man. | ||
| I swear to God, he's like a perverted teenage boy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was changing the other day in her room. | |
| No, I was changing the other day in her room into a bathing suit and it was just me and the dog. | ||
| And then I could feel something staring and I looked and the dog went... | ||
| Like, it got caught staring at me, and when I looked, it turned away. | ||
| When I was in high school, my friend Joe, Joe Spaggs, he had a dog that would aggressively hump his toys, and if you'd get anywhere near the toy, the dog would growl at you. | ||
| It was this little, tiny dog. | ||
| That's my lover. | ||
| He would bite his toy and just start hammering it in front of everybody. | ||
| Yeah, we had a toy like that and a dog would hump the toys and then the toys would be all crispy and then me and my sisters would threaten to throw it at each other the come Not the crispy Come infested crispy Thing that our dog used to just this dog was a little Yeah, they're the horniest ones One time I saw a Chihuahua at the dog park that humped and came in the air. | ||
| I swear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I swear to God. | |
| No. | ||
| I swear to God, dude. | ||
| The small dogs are the horniest. | ||
| He was just humping the air and cum was coming out of his body. | ||
| And the owner was so embarrassed and we were all like... | ||
| It was like weird to witness. | ||
| I never forgot it. | ||
| It traumatized me. | ||
| The chihuahua who came in the air. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| A chihuahua coming in the air? | ||
| I swear I'll never forget that little guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| And then he said, you'll hear a taco bell. | ||
| He comes in the air. | ||
| When I was in college, I had a dog with my boyfriend and we were at the dog park and the dog pooped out a condom. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But it pooped out the condom with the poop inside the condom. | ||
| So it was like a sack and everybody was like, what's happening to the dog? | ||
| So everyone surrounded it. | ||
| And then we all realized at the same time it was a condom and it got really weird. | ||
| He was just eating a condom. | ||
| Oh, so it was probably in the trash. | ||
| It was in the trash, and he ate it, and then the poop filled in the condom, and then he pooped a condom. | ||
| That sounds fucking foul. | ||
| That's why I don't want to have pets. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Like, it's a lot, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're jizzing in the air, fucking your pillows. | |
| They're eating your condoms. | ||
| This dog used to growl. | ||
| He used to growl while he was fucking it. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| No, our dog would look us in the eye while he was going at it. | ||
| He's looking in the eye. | ||
| He's looking in the eye while he's fucking his stuffed animal. | ||
| He's choking his stuffy. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Why is the dog doing 69 with the stuffy? | ||
| They're getting advanced, these puppies. | ||
| Right, he's grabbing the stuffy's head, stuffing it up his ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| No, no. | ||
| It's got a vibrator in its pussy and a stuffy in its ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You walk in the room, your dog's legs are in the air. | |
| Why is my dog's legs on its own shoulders? | ||
| The stuffy's eating it out. | ||
| Can you imagine if you came into the room and your dog was lying on its back? | ||
| Legs in the air. | ||
| With a little vibrator between the legs. | ||
| And then you came in and it's like, woof! | ||
| And it pretends it's a dog again. | ||
| It is really weird. | ||
| My dog loves to lick his own dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Loves it. | |
| Wouldn't you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you could do that? | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| If I could eat my own pussy, you wouldn't see me again. | ||
| Of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye! | |
| Makes sense. | ||
| She'd have a curved back. | ||
| I'd be like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Marilyn Manson. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It makes sense that a dog would do it. | ||
| They don't know any better. | ||
| They don't think there's anything wrong with doing it. | ||
| You gotta go, ew! | ||
| And they're like, what? | ||
| They're not even embarrassed after that either. | ||
| They're like, leave me alone. | ||
| They don't get embarrassed, which is fascinating. | ||
| That's why I love them. | ||
| Because they don't get embarrassed. | ||
| They do when they're in trouble. | ||
| They've done something wrong. | ||
| They get sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oh, what did I do? | |
| Oh, then you feel bad that you're yelling at them, but you're like... | ||
| But hey, bro, you can't do that. | ||
| Don't eat wires. | ||
| You're gonna die. | ||
| Do you think hitting a dog is necessary for it to listen? | ||
| No. | ||
| I have a friend who has a dog and I said, wow, your dog's so well behaved. | ||
| I was like, do you hit him? | ||
| And he goes, that's why he listens. | ||
| And I was like, I hate that. | ||
| Well, I don't think you should hit dogs, but I do think some dogs need some, like there's some aggressive dogs that need to be trained very carefully. | ||
| That I do think. | ||
| And you need to let that dog know that you're the boss. | ||
| And you have to be willing to do that. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think he hits him, but I think he's hit him. | ||
| I think that changed the dog when he was like, because it was a bad dog when he got it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm really anti-hitting a dog. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't have a dog. | ||
| That hurts my heart. | ||
| You always wonder if it's like hitting kids. | ||
| You know, hit kids are more likely to hit other kids. | ||
| And more likely to be funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hit your kid, they'll come up with some great punchlines. | |
| Give them a little subtle brain damage. | ||
| I did Dr. Drew earlier today and he told me I was abused on air. | ||
| He was like, have you ever been hit with anything other than a hand? | ||
| I was like, yeah. | ||
| And he was like, that's abuse. | ||
| I was like, oh. | ||
| Anyways, we should take a collar. | ||
| Like wooden spoons? | ||
| What'd they get you with? | ||
| Belts and shoes. | ||
| But even being hit with a hand, isn't that also abuse? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| My parents would do hot sauce too, which I heard is really bad now. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Hot sauce? | ||
| That's horrible. | ||
| Wash your mouth out with soap? | ||
| It was hot sauce. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Soap was a white child's blessing, sweetie. | |
| Oh, I know. | ||
| There's some people that still believe in that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we should probably move away from violence as punishment as much as we can possibly. | ||
| In general, we should always be moving away from violence. | ||
| As humans and people, we should always be moving towards whatever the nicer thing is. | ||
| But the issue is, hurt people hurt people. | ||
| We're all collectively traumatized. | ||
| And it keeps going. | ||
| It passes on. | ||
| But I feel like that's true because I was spanked and I have no want to spank a child or need to hit a child or hurt a child. | ||
| But also, we know more now, right? | ||
| We know more now. | ||
| And also, you've gone through it. | ||
| We were just talking about this yesterday. | ||
| The children of alcoholics, oftentimes, they don't even think about drinking. | ||
| They're like, fuck that. | ||
| If you've gone through getting your ass kicked by shoes and belts and things like that, you're like, that is not good. | ||
| It wasn't good for me. | ||
| This idea that that's the only way you can learn is crazy. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| It was so common and every parent did it then that it was like, it's crazy. | ||
| And now the parents are like, you're saying we abused you? | ||
| I'm like, I'm saying everyone abused everyone. | ||
| Everyone seemed to be abused during that time, but that is also a thing. | ||
| And it was so normalized. | ||
| Yeah, it was normalized. | ||
| If you could go to the 1900s, go back to the early 1900s, people would beat the fuck out of their kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People would beat the fuck out of their wives. | ||
| You used to be able to hit your kid at the store in the 90s. | ||
| People would hit their kids publicly, I remember. | ||
| At the store? | ||
| Yeah, I remember kids getting spanked in public, like when I was younger. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen people get spanked in public when I was younger. | ||
| It's jarring if you see it now. | ||
| When I lived in Florida, they spanked us once. | ||
| I got in a fight with this kid, and they spanked both of us. | ||
| The school? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With a paddle. | ||
| They used to paddle. | ||
| They paddled you. | ||
| Was it Catholic school? | ||
| No. | ||
| It was public school. | ||
| That's fucked up! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they paddled us. | ||
| I think my friend's mom spanked me once. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And my mom gave her permission. | ||
| Oh, gee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| I think so. | ||
| Your mom's like, film it! | ||
| Hit her! | ||
| We were bad, though. | ||
| Yeah, they used to be able to paddle you in school. | ||
| Isn't it weird that we, I don't know, like people, it's a form of abuse, but then people also like getting their ass spanked while they're having sex? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's no coincidence that our whole entire generation likes to get spanked and choked. | ||
| I think that's that movie. | ||
| What was that movie? | ||
| Shades of Grey? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's all about child abuse. | ||
| There's a new fucking book that's called, it's like fairy porn. | ||
| It's called... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it's the new one that Frank Esteele was talking about. | |
| Frank Esteele was reading fairy porn. | ||
| He said his wife's reading it and she's like fucking him so much that he's scared of her now. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, he's like hiding from her. | ||
| He's getting hot for fairy porn. | ||
| Dude, he says there's this book out and every guy should buy it for his wife. | ||
| Everyone is reading it. | ||
| It was like trending on like this gift list too of like... | ||
| I wrote it down. | ||
| Thorns and Roses. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| It's called The Court of Thorns and Roses. | ||
| And it's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| It starts rather pleasant. | ||
| What did that say? | ||
| It starts rather... | ||
| Can you go back to that, Jenny? | ||
| It starts rather pleasant. | ||
| Yeah, it starts rather pleasant. | ||
| Your usual escapist fantasy. | ||
| It quickly subverts into a dark and brutal test of love. | ||
| I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the books in the series. | ||
| I can see myself stealing ideas for... | ||
| D&D tricks. | ||
| Okay, that's embarrassing. | ||
| Leave your D&D tricks out of it. | ||
| This is some... | ||
| Tapped into a vein of super nerds. | ||
| I'm buying it. | ||
| I'm buying it. | ||
| Catch me reading fairy porn at home. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| I love fairies. | ||
| I'm not a porn reader. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I like to read porn. | ||
| You're like a fantasy porn reader? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I like getting hot and heavy in the book. | ||
| Women in general prefer reading it, whereas men, I think, would prefer watching it. | ||
| Visual, yeah. | ||
| All those romance novels with Fabio on the cover, aren't those all kind of like porn for ladies? | ||
| Yeah, but I thought that was for older ladies. | ||
| This is the cool one, though. | ||
| Some younger ladies get into it. | ||
| They have all kinds of wacky porn. | ||
| There's Bigfoot porn. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know what we talked about that I got into? | ||
| Tarzan porn. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That seems like good porn. | ||
| That one was a good one. | ||
| Lost in the Jungle, Tarzan comes through on the vines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nothing hotter than Tarzan coming through to fuck you. | ||
| That's my rose and thorns. | ||
| A little splish splash in the jungle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Meanwhile, he gives you chimp VD. Aw! | |
| Not me sharing an STD with a chimp he just fucked. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Aw, damn it. | ||
| And then the chimp gets mad at you because you're taking his dick away. | ||
| Did I have beef with a chimp? | ||
| Yeah, beef with a female chimp. | ||
| Aw, that's scary. | ||
| That's not the beef I'm trying to have. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| Do you think Tarzan fucked chimps? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you think he was doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He lived with them. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He didn't think he didn't have a teenage chimp crush. | ||
| He grew up with them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's all grown up. | |
| He went to the same high school with the other chimps. | ||
| When they found him, he was a man. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't like a boy. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| He grew up with the chimps, yeah. | ||
| Me and me had a collection of frogs. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Just mouthfucked frogs? | ||
| Chimps mouthfucked frogs. | ||
| You ever seen that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, you just said it? | |
| And you can hear it. | ||
| They hold them and they mouthfuck them. | ||
| Do you think you can hear it? | ||
| Well, I bet if we find enough videos. | ||
| There's a lot of videos of chimps doing this. | ||
| Wait, chimps mouth fuck frogs? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You said it so casually. | ||
| I thought you knew. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's sitting there. | ||
| He picks up that frog. | ||
| He's like, let me just put your fucking... | ||
| This is where pocket pussy came from. | ||
| This is a pocket pussy. | ||
| A nature's pocket pussy. | ||
| Imagine being this frog going, I can't believe this. | ||
| I thought I was the king of the jungle. | ||
| The frogs are out there. | ||
| Look at, he's sticking his dick inside of its mouth. | ||
| He's prying the mouth open with his thumbs. | ||
| He's literally raping the frog. | ||
| He's prying the mouth open with his thumbs. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Now he's just forcing it to suck on his dick. | ||
| We're watching frog rape. | ||
| But is it rape if it's animals? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Rape is rape. | ||
| Most of what they do, I think, is rape. | ||
| This is another one. | ||
| He's holding down a frog and just beating himself off with it. | ||
| He just beat himself off with his poor frog. | ||
| It's not funny, but the mushrooms are making me laugh. | ||
| It's not funny. | ||
| It is funny. | ||
| It is really funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's funny. | |
| He's like, where you going, bitch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come suck my dick. | |
| Look at him. | ||
| He throws him up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you suck my dick. | |
| And you suck my dick. | ||
| He's throwing him up in the air to soften him up. | ||
| Ew, look at his dick. | ||
| He realizes you're getting a little hoppy here. | ||
| Slow down. | ||
| I'm going to put you on my head. | ||
| He's like, stop filming. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's on his head. | |
| He's gotta put it on his head and he's just feelin' his dick. | ||
| He's lettin' him bounce around, thinking he has freedom. | ||
| Oh, you wanna go by my dick, do ya? | ||
| Now he's gotta teach it all. | ||
| Look at his little boner. | ||
| I can't! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't! | |
| This is so crazy! | ||
| This is crazy! | ||
| This make me miss Moo Moo Fuku. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| No, he's going to town with that poor little frog. | ||
| That poor little frog is about to just explode. | ||
| Honey, you want crab-filled legs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
These are some creamy crab legs. | |
| Are you creamy crab legs? | ||
| He's like a guy holding a girl's head down. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Well, a lot worse. | ||
| You're getting a giant's mouth-fucking you to death. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| A giant hairy beast is mouth-fucking you to death. | ||
| And you're dying. | ||
| It's like, imagine if a giant did. | ||
| Now you're smiling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's her thorns and roses. | ||
| Giant porn. | ||
| That's what I'm into. | ||
| Giant porn. | ||
| Let me climb upon your balls. | ||
| Let me climb your beanstalk. | ||
| He can climb his balls, the wrinkles in his balls to get up to his dick. | ||
| Is it called Come for Bigfoot? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, we've talked about Come for Bigfoot. | ||
| I feel like we maybe have. | ||
| We have talked about Come for Bigfoot and I can't tell if it was a viewer or another sick friend. | ||
| It might be with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| Come for Bigfoot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| There's a ton of them. | ||
| There's not just one. | ||
| I think it's just one lady, Virginia Wade. | ||
| She must be a freak and a half. | ||
| Have you ever heard of the movie Roar? | ||
| Did I tell you about that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes, that movie fucked me up. | ||
| So can you go back so I can read what it says? | ||
| Come for Bigfoot. | ||
| No, I can't. | ||
| It says, on a week-long outing in Mount Hood National Forest, what begins as a flirty, fun-filled trip soon turns into a nightmare when an ape-like creature kidnaps a group of teen girls with the purpose of procreating with them. | ||
| Why teen? | ||
| Thus begins the erotic adventure of a lifetime and an inconceivable love story between a young woman and her horny sasquatch. | ||
| Okay, I've heard Time out! | ||
| I was on board until I found out the girls were teenage. | ||
| Can we make them of age girls? | ||
| They could be 18. You can do whatever you want in a book. | ||
| You can do wild shit in a book. | ||
| I guess you're right. | ||
| Yeah, you can do wild, horrible things in a book. | ||
| An 18-year-old's still a teenager, right? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Deal with the demon. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's what you have to read after you come for Bigfoot. | ||
| If you had to choose between seeing a UFO or seeing Bigfoot, what would you pick? | ||
| UFO. Yeah. | ||
| Seeing Bigfoot would freak me out that they're in the woods with us like that. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| But UFO would be like, okay, it's real. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| There's no more mystery. | ||
| UFO is way more interesting to me. | ||
| UFO is creepy. | ||
| I feel like if Bigfoot was real and there was a bunch of them, we'd treat them the same way we treat orcas. | ||
| Because orcas are amazing. | ||
| That's an amazing creature. | ||
| And if it didn't exist, if you heard about an intelligent creature that speaks with sound underwater, it's got a brain that's way bigger than a human being's brain. | ||
| Obviously, they hunt, they think, they teach each other things. | ||
| You would say there's no way. | ||
| This thing, who saw it? | ||
| You know, if there was no footage of it, it was just a myth that there was this creature that was really intelligent that killed the whales. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| It kills whales? | ||
| What? | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| What is this thing? | ||
| Yeah, but meanwhile, they're real, and we're like, eh, killer whales. | ||
| Oh, look, there's an orca. | ||
| That's how we would be like Bigfoot. | ||
| Oh, look, there's a Bigfoot. | ||
| Would you rather see a... | ||
| There's Sasquatch, and then there's Yetis, right? | ||
| I think they're the same, right? | ||
| No, one's more like snow. | ||
| One lives in the Himalayas. | ||
| Between the two, I'd rather see the Yeti. | ||
| Give me the snowy one. | ||
| I feel like if you're in the place where the Yeti lives, you fucked up already. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like that too. | ||
| I want the Sasquatch, the nice nature. | ||
| Yeah, you could be in the Colorado mountains. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Yeti's cold. | |
| It's nice, and then you see a Sasquatch, you're like, oh shit. | ||
| Come for Sasquatch. | ||
| For real? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just abduct you into the woods, one over each other. | |
| Come for Yeti, doesn't hit the same. | ||
| I can't fucking believe. | ||
| Come for Yeti, doesn't hit the same. | ||
| Yell for Yeti. | ||
| Come for Sasquatch. | ||
| What about the mermaids? | ||
| What about... | ||
| What fucking question is that? | ||
| The mermaids? | ||
| Would I rather see a mermaid over a Yeti or a Sasquatch? | ||
| Would you rather see a mermaid or a UFO? A real one. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about a mermaid. | ||
| But a UFO could be anything. | ||
| It could be the government. | ||
| It could be aliens. | ||
| It could be the government being aliens. | ||
| A mermaid is different. | ||
| A mermaid's a mermaid. | ||
| Imagine it's a hot-ass mermaid. | ||
| A mermaid opens up the opportunity that there's a whole other world of half-humans under the water. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We gotta start going inside before we go outside, Joe. | ||
| We gotta see what's going on in our ship before we start exploring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, question. | |
| Question. | ||
| Would you rather see a fairy or a mermaid? | ||
| A fairy. | ||
| A fairy. | ||
| Fairy, right? | ||
| For sure, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fairy's more interesting. | ||
| I can't get into my fairy fantasy on here. | ||
| I'm into that fairy life. | ||
| A mermaid is just like a person with a fishtail. | ||
| Like, why is it so interesting? | ||
| Fish. | ||
| It's not even that interesting. | ||
| This is a different kind of person that lives underwater. | ||
| Like, okay, have fun. | ||
| Weirdo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Anyways, we'll be up here breathing air and having fun and doing stand-up. | |
| Yeah, have a good time. | ||
| Lose the gills, get some lungs, pussy. | ||
| Yeah, you're living with sharks, you fucking moron. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Down there with your fucking trident. | ||
| I run this shit. | ||
| There's people on TikTok that are teaching themselves telekinesis and they think they can move things with their minds. | ||
| That's Russia and China. | ||
| They're just subverting our youth. | ||
| They're making us stupid and then in China they're getting smarter. | ||
| They're doing like math shit. | ||
| They're doing real math numbers and we're over here trying to move aluminum foil with wind. | ||
| We're like, I could do it! | ||
| Yep. | ||
| We're all distracted by the dumbest shit on TikTok. | ||
| Yeah, people are just eating Baconators trying to move things with their minds. | ||
| The chamoy pickle? | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Do you think that people can, like, is, like, telekinesis a possibility someday? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because we have this thought. | ||
| It's always existed, like the idea of moving things with your mind. | ||
| And people have always pretended they can do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What do you think? | ||
| Do you think it's like things that people think one day... | ||
| At one point in time, we weren't like this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| At one point in time, we were some hairy creature living in the woods, and we evolved to become like this. | ||
| How long before other things start emerging? | ||
| And maybe that's what psychic thought really is. | ||
| They're emerging properties of human beings. | ||
| We don't quite have it yet, but you get it. | ||
| My friend called when I was thinking about them. | ||
| You know, that kind of shit. | ||
| It's being a jellyfish. | ||
| You gotta just fucking go with it until the vibes hit you. | ||
| It shows up with synchronicities and stuff, too. | ||
| Also, I think it's very interesting when you're in school and stuff and you feel someone looking at you and you look and they're looking. | ||
| And you're like, you can feel that. | ||
| Well, people do seem to statistically know. | ||
| They've done, like, studies and show people can tell to a certain extent when people are looking at them. | ||
| It seems to be more than just chance. | ||
| It is more than chance, because in a room full of people, your head goes exactly to where you're being stared at, and you make eye contact. | ||
| And that's happened to me so many times. | ||
| There's times where we're so connected, there'll be times where we do shows and we both show up in a pink jacket. | ||
| We didn't talk about it before, and we'll just both get there and be matching, which is weird, too. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's... | ||
| You're both more likely to wear pink jackets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we also... | ||
| If I wore a pink jacket and you guys were wearing a pink jacket, that would seem insane. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Which did happen the other night. | ||
| We all wore pink. | ||
| We did? | ||
| Yeah, we did. | ||
| Who's we? | ||
| Me, you, and Sarah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Was that you? | ||
| No, it was me, you, and Pauly Shore. | ||
| Oh, it was Pauly Shore. | ||
| You just mixed up Pauly and Joe. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Different energy. | ||
| I can't even believe I'm saying that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm wearing a pink hoodie. | |
| Shit, I'm wearing a pink hoodie. | ||
| You got Elvis. | ||
| That's what threw me off, but I don't know. | ||
| I think it's just weird. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| I think it's possible. | ||
| I heard this story about a guy who died in a freezer. | ||
| He worked in a place that had like all these freezers and he got locked in one. | ||
| And he died from hypothermia. | ||
| But they found out that the freezer... | ||
| Now I don't know if this is a true story. | ||
| I don't even remember how I read it. | ||
| But I read that he died but they found out that the freezer didn't even work. | ||
| That it had been unplugged. | ||
| The power shut down. | ||
| And then he like literally like thought he was freezing and killed himself. | ||
| In the freezer. | ||
| They found claw marks in it and everything. | ||
| I don't know if that's real. | ||
| How did he kill himself? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But they said they looked and he had... | ||
| There's a lot of I don't know in this story. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| It was a long time ago. | ||
| I'm having traces of that story pop in. | ||
| His mental state... | ||
| He tricked himself into thinking he was dying and he died. | ||
| He had like a fucking heart attack. | ||
| He's been like, I'm burning! | ||
| I'm burning! | ||
| And you... | ||
| I could see that you could have a heart attack. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| And then he was like trying to claw his way out, but then they said that the freezer wasn't even plugged in and he would have lived if he would have just fucking... | ||
| That's deranged. | ||
| Chilled out a little. | ||
| No, pun intended. | ||
| How do you even fit into a freezer? | ||
| How do you not know it's not cold? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you not know it's not cold? | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You really think you're freezing to death. | ||
| But if you're in there and you're like, not even cold. | ||
| I remember being a kid. | ||
| I think it's a big one. | ||
| It's probably cold for a while. | ||
| And wanting to go into the refrigerator as a kid. | ||
| Being like, opening it. | ||
| My mom being like, I can't go in the refrigerator. | ||
| Oh yeah, you want to go in there like a bug. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's in horror movies where the evil grandmother's like, let me see if you fit in that oven. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just do me a favor and climb in that oven. | ||
| I just want to see if you fit. | ||
| It's nice and warm. | ||
| Your hands are cold. | ||
| Just put your hands in there. | ||
| There's a fucked up movie, a horror movie about that where these kids go to visit their grandparents. | ||
| Is it called Witches? | ||
| But the grandparents aren't really their grandparents. | ||
| Oh, I saw that movie. | ||
| There's some crazy people that took over the grandparents' house and killed the grandparents. | ||
| And the mom calls and they show a picture of the grandparents. | ||
| And she's like, those aren't your grandparents. | ||
| And the kids realize they've been staying with two strangers. | ||
| They're at the wrong house. | ||
| Psycho strangers. | ||
| Psycho. | ||
| What is the name of that movie? | ||
| That movie was actually really fucked up. | ||
| It was a good movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was it called? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| The Others or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, there's something like that. | ||
| The Visit? | ||
| The Visit? | ||
| Can I see? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| It was really horrible. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yep, this is it. | ||
| Oh, I remember. | ||
| It's a very creepy movie. | ||
| Because it builds. | ||
| It's like a slow creep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even watching it looks creepy. | ||
| Well, the grandparents look off from the beginning now that you know. | ||
| Well, now that you know. | ||
| But at the beginning, they just seem a little off. | ||
| Like, just something's wrong. | ||
| Yeah, like maybe they had dementia or something. | ||
| You almost think they're sick in a way. | ||
| You're like, man, they're not doing too well. | ||
| These are the people that killed your grandparents. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a good movie. | ||
| It is a good movie. | ||
| You know that movie that fucked me up was The Strangers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which one? | |
| That movie fucked me up for years. | ||
| What's that movie? | ||
| It's a movie about just strangers showing up at your house at night in masks. | ||
| And it's like this... | ||
| Not into that. | ||
| Like this knock, and then it's a couple on their anniversary, they're in the middle of the woods, and just these people show up, and then they go through this whole night where they're being tortured and murdered, and at the end of the movie, they ask them, they're like, why are you doing this? | ||
| And they're like, because you were home. | ||
| And it's like, no, it's just a movie about demented people. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Boy, that's why you need firearms. | ||
| Yeah, the strangers make you believe in the right to bear arms, I'll tell you that. | ||
| You'll fix that problem real quick. | ||
| You'll see them skedaddling with their masks off quick. | ||
| Remember when we saw Haley Joel Osment on the plane and we knew it was him because of his eyes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he was wearing a mask and we're like, no, we see those funky eyes from here. | |
| Do you see dead people? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| This kid from Signs. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| We recognized him from... | ||
| He had a mask on and I know his eyes. | ||
| That movie fucking changed my life. | ||
| Signs really stayed with me. | ||
| Not Signs. | ||
| Sixth Sense. | ||
| Sixth Sense. | ||
| Yeah, that fucked me up. | ||
| Signs really stayed with you? | ||
| Signs was the first movie I ever got fingered in. | ||
| The first time I ever got fingered was in Signs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| He does have very distinct eyes. | ||
| He does. | ||
| Look at his eyes again. | ||
| The only person who has eyes that distinct besides him are Buscemi. | ||
| Yeah, he's got eyes you can't miss. | ||
| Like, you can't wear a mask and be like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, okay, Haley Joel Like a Russian wrestler. | |
| Yeah He did that trippy movie AI Remember that one where I was about the couple where they got so advanced that you could buy a child if you lost a child that you could buy a very realistic version of one for your grief and And it would like learn to love you. | ||
| And then their child actually came back from the coma. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So you have two kids? | ||
| You have two kids. | ||
| The robot kid? | ||
| Oh god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn it. | |
| It was a good movie. | ||
| Is that the robot falling apart? | ||
| That's because the other son would taunt him because he could really eat. | ||
| And so the robot kid started almost feeling like, well, if he can eat, I can eat. | ||
| I'm the real son, too. | ||
| And then it started, like, things went bad. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| I never saw that movie. | ||
| Oh, it's so crazy. | ||
| It's so trippy. | ||
| And then eventually, like, the robot lives forever, but he actually loves this family and this woman like a mother. | ||
| But then eventually everyone dies out, and he's, like, still, like, the world. | ||
| Oh, you spoiler alerted the shit out of that movie. | ||
| When did that movie come out? | ||
| 1990. 2001 was a long time ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it in any longer. | |
| I've been waiting for a while to talk this. | ||
| There's this thing that somebody sent me online. | ||
| Hayley Joel was six in it. | ||
| There's this thing that someone sent me online where you can make an AI-generated boyfriend. | ||
| Well, aren't there like a bunch of AI girls on OnlyFans? | ||
| I like when it goes silent and a star just goes across the sky. | ||
| There's a bunch of AI-generated girls on OnlyFans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| But you can literally have a relationship. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Tell me if that's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can make your own boyfriend on AI. Before I got that, this popped up. | |
| What does it say? | ||
| It's Somebody sent me a link. | ||
| Osment was Spielberg's first and only choice for the role. | ||
| To betray the character, Osment avoided blinking his eyes and programmed himself with good posture. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| Something that said, I saw in a Reddit post, it said he didn't blink for a year. | ||
| I bet the... | ||
| He played a robot boy so well. | ||
| This movie is trippy as fuck. | ||
| I bet the trailer's crazy, too. | ||
| Loss his ability to blink. | ||
| Wait, what do you mean? | ||
| How do you not blink for an entire year? | ||
| I don't think that's really possible. | ||
| That's... | ||
| He's fucked up. | ||
| What happens when you go to sleep? | ||
| Listen, we saw him on the plane. | ||
| Something happened to him. | ||
| Lost his ability to blink. | ||
| Could he close his eyes? | ||
| That doesn't count as a blink, it's not quick? | ||
| No, closing your eyes is different than blinking, right? | ||
| Now we're talking about blinking. | ||
| Blinking is pretty quick. | ||
| How do you not blink for a whole year? | ||
| I'm sure when no one was looking, he was getting a few in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| Don't worry, you guys. | ||
| That's like not shitting for a whole year. | ||
| I can't believe this is actual title. | ||
| He wasn't allowed to blink. | ||
| Stop blinking. | ||
| You gotta stop blinking. | ||
| Stop it, Ken. | ||
| This is so stupid. | ||
| That was the director's notes. | ||
| You have to stop blinking. | ||
| Less blinking. | ||
| Haley Joel Osment stops blinking for one year. | ||
| When Spielberg tells you not to blink, you stop blinking! | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Spielberg, if you're listening, I will not blink if you put me in a movie. | ||
| I'll stop blinking for a year. | ||
| I'll stop blinking for a year, too. | ||
| You guys think you play good robots? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You both went into robot mode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| How long before you think, like, we're gonna go over someone's house and they're gonna have a robot, like, cleaning up? | ||
| Well, remember that show Small Wonder? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay, can you look? | ||
| Small Wonder, Vicky, it was one of my favorite shows. | ||
| She was just like this house robot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You guys don't know what I'm talking about? | ||
| It was one of my favorite shows. | ||
| Even Kim's looking at you. | ||
| I've never heard of this. | ||
| Small Wonder. | ||
| Oh yeah, Small Wonder. | ||
| No one talks about it. | ||
| People need to talk more about Small Wonder. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Look, she's a robot. | ||
| I grew up watching this. | ||
| She's a broken robot. | ||
| What is she doing? | ||
| What in the fuck were you watching as a child? | ||
| That's what makes her a robot? | ||
| She shrugs her shoulders? | ||
| No, she cleans and... | ||
| She does a lot of stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| No, this is really weird. | ||
| You watch this movie? | ||
| It's a series! | ||
| I used to watch it! | ||
| It was my favorite show! | ||
| This is why you need Adderall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is how you started watching it. | |
| You see her outfit? | ||
| I'd like to wear that. | ||
| This did something to you as a child, yeah. | ||
| How have you guys never seen this? | ||
| Ew! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate this! | |
| And if you look at her back... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, this is the most offensive show of all time. | |
| This is so crazy. | ||
| It was my favorite show. | ||
| She's got sparks coming out of her back. | ||
| Sparks coming out of her back. | ||
| She's broken at one point. | ||
| And one time she started smoking cigarettes and she, like, it's crazy. | ||
| Did she have the personality of a child or did she just... | ||
| Whoa, imagine that. | ||
| She's fucking up your kids. | ||
| He is a prisoner in his own home. | ||
| He has a good point. | ||
| The parents should reconsider Vicky living there. | ||
| Memo, the parents are letting this robot pick your fucking kid up and threaten it with violence. | ||
| I mean, have some control in the house. | ||
| Look at her back. | ||
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| Her back is all like digital. | ||
| Like a toy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She kind of looks like a young you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was obsessed with this show. | |
| She would be vacuuming. | ||
| She'd be smoking cigarettes. | ||
| It was one of my favorite shows growing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Small Vicky. | ||
| There's a lot of bad shows. | ||
| I was gonna be here for Halloween one year, but I thought it was more mainstream. | ||
| No, a lot of people know Small Wonder. | ||
| I'm shocked you guys don't, to be honest. | ||
| No, I do. | ||
| How long was it on for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| One season, 1985. Wait, that's it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it? | |
| You had to be there for three months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was always on my TV! You had to be there from January to March. | |
| I thought they had like 10 seasons because it was always on. | ||
| Sweetie, January through March 85, if you caught small wonder, you were hooked. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Oh no, I'm sorry. | ||
| It had a couple of runs. | ||
| It had a couple of seasons. | ||
| Okay, how many? | ||
| I want to know what you were going to ask. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three to four. | |
| Okay, that makes me feel better. | ||
| Are you what? | ||
| What? | ||
| Are you what? | ||
| What were you going to say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A robot? | |
| You went, are you? | ||
| I don't remember what I was going to say. | ||
| Are you okay? | ||
| Are you still on Adderall? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you wish you were? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not at all? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You never want a taste? | ||
| No. | ||
| Feeling a little down? | ||
| It feels really nice to be able to sleep. | ||
| I mean, I was on it for so long. | ||
| And when you're on it, it also makes you... | ||
| It's really hard to live in the present moment when you're just thinking about sending emails. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I didn't really have much inner peace when I was on it. | ||
| I gotta tell you, I can't imagine how you were living because you... | ||
| I constantly still think about emails. | ||
| She thinks about emails more than anyone I know. | ||
| So it was just like a hundred times whatever. | ||
| She's already on top of it. | ||
| Like she already is whatever it's doing. | ||
| Maybe it rewired you. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe it made you more, those are like grooves that you naturally go into now. | ||
| Because of the neural pathways or something. | ||
| It dug something new. | ||
| Yeah, dug some new corridors. | ||
| The one thing about it was it would make me a bitch. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Because you would take it, I would take it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And some spunk back in 2007, I'll tell you why. | |
| You start coming down from it, and you're kind of just like aggro. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| You're like, ugh. | ||
| When did you stop taking it? | ||
| In 2019, right after Brody died. | ||
| It was literally, Brody died, and I was like, I need to stop taking Adderall's because I was so sad, I just wanted to sleep. | ||
| So I just stopped taking it cold turkey, and then I went into a psychosis, and then ever since then, I've never taken it again. | ||
| How long does psychosis last? | ||
| It was like three days. | ||
| I feel like it lasted longer for you because before you even left, there was a few days of like it built up to it. | ||
| It was like a slow... | ||
| I don't think it just hit and was three days and was over. | ||
| It was like a... | ||
| Almost like you're being, especially like with my experience with you, it's like I was being gaslit, like, not gaslit, but I'm like, am I, is she off or am I just being judgmental? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Where you're like, there's a few days where you're like, I think something's off or maybe she's in a really good mood and you kind of, I'm not sure to question it or maybe I'm off and I'm annoyed by her good mood, but I'm like, something's weird. | ||
| Let me tell you, going to the psych ward will change you. | ||
| 72 hours psychiatric hold will do something to you. | ||
| What happened in there? | ||
| When I got there... | ||
| Good food, apparently. | ||
| The best food. | ||
| The best food. | ||
| Well, but also I probably wasn't eating for like 10 years because I was cracked down on that or all. | ||
| It was just food. | ||
| It was actually just food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The best part of being in there was there was like a music segment where this old guy would come in and he'd have like a tambourine and we'd all sit around. | ||
| Some old retirement home entertainment going on. | ||
| No, but it was like, it was the only thing I looked forward to, like the music time. | ||
| Because it was like all these, it was just like four mentally ill people being like, what song do you want to hear? | ||
| I'm like, can you do Crosby, Sills, Nash& Young? | ||
| He's like, I can! | ||
| I'm like, great! | ||
| It sounds kooky in there. | ||
| It's very kooky. | ||
| There was a guy who, I remember I looked over and he wasn't wearing pants. | ||
| And he was on the phone with his wife. | ||
| And when you're on the phone, the phone's a short cord so you don't hang yourself with it. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This dude with no pants right next to the phone. | |
| I became friends with this chick. | ||
| She's like, we gotta get a lawyer to get out of here. | ||
| I was like, you're right. | ||
| I'm like calling my parents. | ||
| I'm like, I need a lawyer to get out of here. | ||
| They're like, we put you in there. | ||
| You're not getting a lawyer to get out of there. | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
| Alright ladies, I'm going to wrap this up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Fun times. | ||
| Tell everybody how to get your podcast, where you are on social media. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| It's this bitch, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. | ||
| Wherever you find podcasts. | ||
| Wherever you find podcasts. | ||
| New episodes of that every Monday. | ||
| And then you can find me on Wednesday on Shank. | ||
| That's S-H-E-N-K. And for show dates, at Princess Shank. | ||
| That's Princess like normal. | ||
| And then another S-H-E-N-K. Oh yeah, that's us. | ||
| That's us. | ||
| Yes, this bitch podcast, kimcongden.com for show dates. | ||
| Make sure you check out my special, Childless MILF. I'm recording it. | ||
| It's coming out in the new year. | ||
| I'm very excited about it. | ||
| The Kim Congden Takeover podcast. | ||
| I don't know when this comes out, but I have some shows in Austin this week, so check out my social media for that. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thank you, ladies. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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