May 11, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:37:00
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hello, Joe. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| How you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
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Good. | |
| Nice space suit. | ||
| You have a nice space suit as well. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Why did you choose blue? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The silver one's a little intense. | ||
| Yeah, it's a sweat box. | ||
| It's weird how warm they get. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like one of them emergency blankets. | ||
| You ever seen them? | ||
| Those little thin silver ones? | ||
| Like, how can that help you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess it does somehow. | ||
| Maintains heat. | ||
| So what's it like being a club owner? | ||
| What's it like to be a club owner to you, sir? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Who would have ever thought? | ||
| I know. | ||
| That makes no sense. | ||
| When we started doing this podcast, that one day we'd both be club owners. | ||
| Right next door to each other. | ||
| That's what's hilarious. | ||
| And people are like, does it bother you that Red Band opened up a club three doors down? | ||
| I'm like, no, it's great. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Because it's... | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| You have two rooms. | ||
| You have your beautiful big boy or whatever. | ||
| But that to me is the main room. | ||
| Yeah, Fat Man's the main room. | ||
| And then your other one, I think, is the OR. And I feel like mine's kind of like the Belly Room, because it has the same kind of shows that are in the Belly Room, the same kind of like the comics are experimenting with new things over there. | ||
| So it's kind of like the main three now. | ||
| I think it's kind of cool. | ||
| Well, we have so many good spots just on that one street. | ||
| I mean, Vulcan is just a few doors down. | ||
| Creek in the Cave is just a block away. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And when you're in town, when different comics are in town, like Voss was at... | ||
| The Vulcan, and then he came by and did my club, and then all these different people are doing that, just going back and forth, and it's great. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| I fucking love it. | ||
| Yeah, and I think it's because there's no major sports teams here, right? | ||
| So there's music and comedy are the big things in this town. | ||
| I think the music set everybody up for going out to see live shows. | ||
| Because it's like a culture of going to see live shows in this town. | ||
| That was established by people going to see music. | ||
| There's so much fucking... | ||
| Ellis Bullard got ripped off. | ||
| Did you see that shit? | ||
| They were in South Carolina, I think. | ||
| Fucking cunt. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Dirty thieves. | ||
| They broke into the trailer. | ||
| Yeah, they broke into his trailer. | ||
| Stole his guitars, his amps, everything. | ||
| Now he's got three more shows and no equipment. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| So is it EllisBullardMusic on Instagram? | ||
| I think he's going to put up a GoFundMe. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He's got to go out and buy guitars. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, look at that. | |
| Oh, look at that guitar, too. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| You know, that's the kind of guitar, though, that when somebody tries to sell it, it'll probably get back to them. | ||
| Well, hopefully, because of this, we'll tell everybody, but it's a 1979 guitar? | ||
| Is that what it said? | ||
| A Dobro? | ||
| Yeah, so an Eastman 10D, Dobro, two Telecasters, and a custom. | ||
| Fucking scumbags, man. | ||
| That couldn't happen to a nicer guy. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's talented as fuck, too. | ||
| There it is, 1979 Dobro. | ||
| Yeah, man, that's ugly. | ||
| There's some scumbag musician that'll buy that, knowing it's stolen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ugh, desperate people. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Yeah, thievery is just so gross. | ||
| It's amazing how little there is, though. | ||
| You know, I was thinking about that the other day about car accidents. | ||
| People suck at driving, but God, it's amazing how few car accidents there are. | ||
| Most people, every day, just moving around, no car accident. | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| And you have to have trust in everybody, too. | ||
| There's sometimes when you're driving by the semi and you're like, okay, I hope you see me. | ||
| Bro, it's all phones. | ||
| People need that Apple CarPlay. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| You can do anything that you need to do. | ||
| Without ever touching the phone, you just say, hey Siri, call Red Van. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Hey Siri, text my mom. | ||
| What do you want to say? | ||
| And then you just say it. | ||
| It's like you can say, hey Siri, navigate to, and you go wherever the fuck you need to go. | ||
| You don't have to touch anything. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| It's a real bummer that Tesla won't do that. | ||
| Why won't they do that? | ||
| Because they said that theirs is better than Apple. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's one of the worst things I've ever used. | ||
| They get some things right and some things really wrong. | ||
| Really wrong is the fob. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| It's not called a fob. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| The fucking... | ||
| The car key thing? | ||
| The stupid handle. | ||
| The yoke. | ||
| The yoke. | ||
| Oh, it's so dumb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just no. | ||
| No with the yoke. | ||
| Give me a goddamn steering wheel. | ||
| Well, now you can. | ||
| Now you can. | ||
| Now they give you the option. | ||
| You could probably get yours retrofitted with it back on now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because now it's an option when you order a car now. | ||
| Can I get the horn in the center, please? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's the dumbest thing ever. | ||
| Fucking sons of bitches. | ||
| And they also sell third-party steering wheels that actually is a yoke, but they see the one on the bottom, right? | ||
| Where it makes it a little bit better. | ||
| That's actually cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's third-party. | ||
| They did a nice interior in that car, too. | ||
| Yeah, the interior is like, I was in the interior of a Porsche electric car. | ||
| It's very nice. | ||
| Very nice. | ||
| That's the new one? | ||
| That's another aftermarket. | ||
| But do they have it as an option? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| Can I go to Tesla and say, hey, get rid of this whack-ass steering wheel? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you order, just go to Tesla.com and act like you're ordering a car, and one of the options should be a Model S. One of the options is you can get a steering wheel. | ||
| Yeah, from what I understand. | ||
| Just for driving, for actually turning and parking, it's stupid. | ||
| The yoke is stupid. | ||
| It's funny because when they first... | ||
| When they first... | ||
|
unidentified
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steering wheel. | |
| Aha! | ||
| Give me a goddamn steering wheel. | ||
| Yeah, when they first announced it, though, I was like, that is the coolest thing ever. | ||
| I want that so bad. | ||
| But just like the little thing, I'm not putting the horn in the middle and the turn singles. | ||
| Oh, it looks like the horn. | ||
| No. | ||
| The horn's back in the middle. | ||
| Yeah, it's in the middle. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| That's what I need, Elon. | ||
| Why wouldn't you put the horn in the middle? | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what I'm seeing is when I change it from yoke, the buttons all stay the same. | ||
| It's just the outside. | ||
| Yeah, because the new yoke has the horn in the center as well. | ||
| Oh, it does? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They fixed it. | ||
| But mine doesn't. | ||
| Mine sucks. | ||
| Some guy cut in front of me and I was like, Jesus, buddy! | ||
| Just looking for the... | ||
| And the turn single, do you constantly hit the turn singles? | ||
| Always wrong. | ||
| So bad. | ||
| Accidentally hit left, right. | ||
| This is the... | ||
| The stalk is the way to go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| It never gets in the way. | ||
| There's nothing back there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| Your hands are never back there. | ||
| So it just goes left, right. | ||
| We know how to do it. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| Yeah, there's even that second stalk that I even forget that's even there sometimes because I never even see it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The one behind the left stalk. | ||
| Well, that's the adjuster, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's like a whole thing there you never see, you know? | ||
| In doing everything on the screen to make things simple, they make things way more complicated. | ||
| Like if you have to adjust your mirrors, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You got to get in there and then lift for the left and lift for the right. | ||
| No. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| You're making me think too much. | ||
| When my car, I don't even have to look at it. | ||
| I just reach over, I press the button, and I can adjust it. | ||
| I just do it real quick, easy. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| Physical buttons are better. | ||
| Always. | ||
|
unidentified
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Always. | |
| Slide to reverse. | ||
| The worst is when the car has their volume knob and adjustments on the screen. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Am I touching up? | ||
| You want to be able to do it where you can keep looking at the road. | ||
| Just reach over, grab the knob, turn it to the left, turn it to the right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Volume. | ||
| We know how to do it. | ||
| Temperature. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Button. | ||
| Button go high. | ||
| Button go low. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Just make the buttons look sexier or prettier. | ||
| Porsche knows how to do it. | ||
| Porsche's got all buttons. | ||
| They figured it out. | ||
| I looked in their interior. | ||
| I'm like, that's a better interior. | ||
| They know how to do it. | ||
| They've been doing cars forever. | ||
| Everybody tries to, like, reinvent the wheel. | ||
| Some parts, like, blinkers. | ||
| Click, click, click, click. | ||
| Keep it like that. | ||
| Don't be putting on the steering wheel like an asshole. | ||
| And companies are coming back to it also. | ||
| Look at the latest MacBook Pros. | ||
| They're bringing back the SD card reader. | ||
| They're bringing back all the ports that they got rid of. | ||
| Oh, are they really? | ||
| Yeah, but then you hear these rumors that the iPhone is going to get rid of buttons. | ||
| And it's, you know, it's going to have zero buttons. | ||
| The whole thing is... | ||
| What disturbs me is going to all wireless charging. | ||
| Like, why are you doing that? | ||
|
unidentified
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That's the worst. | |
| You know it's slower. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Like, just making that everyone has to have a wireless port somewhere. | ||
| Everyone has cords, man. | ||
| Keep the cords. | ||
| Just go to USB-C. You see that? | ||
| I saw a Lou post of this yesterday. | ||
| It's like a new prototype. | ||
| Who knows if this out's going to be... | ||
| It's going to have the new USB-C port, which is the... | ||
| This is the Ultra? | ||
| Yeah, it's basically the same, but I guess that's like the Ultra Watch, I think, probably with the titanium outside, maybe. | ||
| So what is different? | ||
| The screen border is a lot smaller. | ||
| It has a USB-C port now, and... | ||
| The volume rocker is not two buttons anymore, it's one long button. | ||
| And the mute button, the clicky switch to mute that never works is now a button that's going to be used for like an action button, I guess. | ||
| So how will you mute it now? | ||
| We probably hold that down for a second or something like that. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Look at this top comment. | ||
| I will never use an iPhone. | ||
| Android people are hilarious. | ||
| They are so in a cult. | ||
| They really don't, like, we're against the machine, man. | ||
| Literally, your phone is used by more humans than any other phone on Earth. | ||
| I sent them photos to a group chat last night and half a second group chat without the Android person so they can get the photos uncompressed and they look good. | ||
| Because in that group chat, they're all fucked. | ||
| They can't see the photos. | ||
| I don't know if you know that. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| If you have an Android person in your iPhone group chat, they get the photos good, that Android will get them, but every other phone will not get them good. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it compresses it because of the text. | ||
| Because it has to go to that SMS and then it goes to everybody else. | ||
| You have to leave them out, make a new group chat, be like, sorry. | ||
| Is that why it always says, like, message failed to send? | ||
| And then I'll send it, like, ten more times, and people are like, why does he send me this ten times? | ||
| Because it keeps on saying it failed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like if you text message from an iPhone, it's inferior. | ||
| If you text message an image, which text, not SMS. Not trying to talk shit on my Androids, but that's what happens. | ||
| They'll see it perfectly fine and be like, what are you talking about? | ||
| I see it looks great on my phone. | ||
| Look, I'll send you photos. | ||
| But it gets compressed to the iPhone. | ||
| Yeah, when it goes from that Android to the network again, it'll be dog shit on those fucking Androids. | ||
| Or on iPhones, I'm sorry. | ||
| Especially video. | ||
| Especially video. | ||
| It's very frustrating that you can't just go back and forth, that they've created this walled garden with Apple. | ||
| Because, like, one thing that Android does that's really good is they're always the first with, like, foldables. | ||
| They're the first with crazy zoom lenses. | ||
| They're the first with... | ||
| They figure out everything first. | ||
| They have way better screen real estate. | ||
| There's much more screen to an Android phone than there is to an iPhone. | ||
| You know that stupid fucking... | ||
| What is that thing in the top that nobody really cares about? | ||
| Right, the island. | ||
| The island? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with your island. | ||
| Who's using that island? | ||
| Android has better fake moons. | ||
| Yeah, the fake moon. | ||
| You think I'm so busted with that fake moon. | ||
| You can't sneak things past the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When those guys figured out that you could take a blurry photo and put it up on a laptop and then zoom in on it and your phone will make it look perfect. | ||
| And I always wondered about that because when you got the Galaxy S21, you sent me a moon photo and I was like, holy shit! | ||
| And it made me want one so bad because you sent me that. | ||
| It was pretty cool, but now I feel like a loser. | ||
|
unidentified
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You sent me a JPEG. I sent you a drawing. | |
| An NFT. Yeah, it was fucking CGI. What are they saying it is? | ||
| Because it's clearly, whatever that process is, it's not a photograph. | ||
| No, it's like AI. It's pretty much, it knows what the moon looks like and it uses yours as a reference to find what angle you are at and then it just kind of fills in the gaps. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's not a photo. | |
| It's not a photo. | ||
| That's not a photo. | ||
| It's fake. | ||
| Like how do they not get in trouble with that? | ||
| That seems like that's a real like violation of trust. | ||
| I think it is in the writing somewhere. | ||
| Like I think people found out somewhere that it is in like the terms somewhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was their excuse? | ||
| What was Samsung's excuse? | ||
| I don't think they've admitted to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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They did. | |
| They did. | ||
| I thought at first they were like, I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| They're just going to keep their mouth shut. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. | ||
| Their response was very Bud Lighty. | ||
| You should know. | ||
| Bud Lighty! | ||
| Dude, has there ever been a business ever in the history of businesses that got hit with a boycott like Bud Light did? | ||
| Who fucking saw that coming? | ||
| Who saw that coming? | ||
| I mean, they fired two CEOs, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Off of image. | ||
| Well, they're down something like 21%, which is wild. | ||
| That's so much, man. | ||
| Like, there's bars that refuse to sell it. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| There's bars that refuse to sell it because it's causing fights. | ||
| Because if people drink it, guys will fuck with them. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Which you totally could see. | ||
| Some moron in a bar. | ||
| Bro, drinking a Bud Light? | ||
|
unidentified
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You wearing a fucking skirt, bro? | |
| You support Dylan Mulvaney? | ||
|
unidentified
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Who? | |
| Yeah, I can see a lot of fights. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I can see that happening. | ||
| That's a surefire scenario in some moron bar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You drinking a Bud Light? | ||
| Miller Lite and all the other beers need to, like, jump on this hard and just have, like, bikini beer commercials, like, nonstop right now. | ||
|
unidentified
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Guns. | |
| Just tits and guns. | ||
| Hunting and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is, like, light beer is a true alcoholics beer. | ||
| Because it's something you could drink all day long. | ||
| That's like a guy who just likes to work on transmissions. | ||
| He's just back in the backyard just drinking Bud Light. | ||
| All day long. | ||
| I stopped beer. | ||
| I used to only drink beer. | ||
| I'll have a beer once a year maybe, but I just stopped drinking beer. | ||
| Tequila's better. | ||
| Tequila seems to be the best in terms of how you feel afterwards. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| All of it's poison. | ||
| Alcohol's basically poison. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Tequila seems to be the best poison. | ||
| Like, your body absorbs it the best. | ||
| There's no really hangovers as much with that also. | ||
| Yeah, now when I drink whiskey, we've been drinking tequila a lot lately. | ||
| Now when I drink whiskey, I'm like... | ||
| Tequila Press. | ||
| You ever have that? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's tequila with soda and a splash of Sprite. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I just like the taste of tequila. | ||
| I don't like... | ||
| I mean, I'll drink stuff like at the bar downstairs. | ||
| I always have those Wild Childs. | ||
| Those are good. | ||
| They're tasty. | ||
| But I like booze to taste like booze. | ||
| I like to know what I'm getting into. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I like the smell of fucking evilness in it. | |
| I don't. | ||
| I mix my shit with Kool-Aid and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, you get a prime. | ||
| Yeah, this shit. | ||
| It's just like the most sugary drink that doesn't have sugar in it. | ||
| What are they using for a sweetener? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't had the hydration one, but I had the energy drink one. | ||
| It was pretty good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they taste amazing, but they also taste like Kool-Aid with three times the sugar in it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So it's really good. | ||
| I mix this with vodka and stuff. | ||
| It's a good mixer, but yeah, it's too much. | ||
| It's too strong. | ||
| Well, that hydration market, all of a sudden everyone's realizing they're not hydrated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many hydration products out now. | ||
| And all those hydration products, the sodium content in those are out of control. | ||
| I don't know if you ever looked at just one of the hydration products, sodium levels. | ||
| Because I've been drinking two or three of these thinking I'm drinking water, doing good for my body. | ||
| But then you look at the sodium level, it's like 1,000 milligrams. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I don't necessarily think sodium in and of itself is bad for you. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think that's the electrolytes and stuff they're adding. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some of that you want. | ||
| Yeah, you want some. | ||
| Particularly if you're exercising. | ||
| Like, if that's an athletic drink, then you definitely want some sodium. | ||
| You want all kinds of stuff. | ||
| This only has 10, so that's not bad at all. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think that's one of those things where there's like a lot of common misconceptions like salts like people worried about salt's bad for you. | ||
| Salt's an essential mineral like you actually need salt like it's I don't necessarily think salt's bad for you. | ||
| I think we've got a lot of wives tales floating around and people you know had some information at one point in time that seemed to link sodium to certain diseases but now I don't think they think that anymore. | ||
| Let's find, like, is sodium bad for you? | ||
| Yeah, like sodium in sports drinks and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, Joey Diaz used to always say... | ||
|
unidentified
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Sodium. | |
| Yeah, but that's just Joey. | ||
| Monosodium glutamate. | ||
| I heard that there was a salt that was bad for you. | ||
| This is another one of those tales. | ||
| Like, Himalayan salt or pink salt. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| They found out there's something bad in it now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I might be wrong, but... | ||
| I thought that was supposed to be the salt that's the best for you. | ||
| Exactly, yeah. | ||
| That's like brown rice, you know? | ||
| Maybe it's because they're not getting it all from there and they're saying it's that. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Oh, like they're getting some bullshit salt. | ||
| Not that they're dying in pink, but yeah, they're saying it's that. | ||
| It's just, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dirtied mine. | ||
| Pouring Kool-Aid on it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Turning it pink. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Sodium and sport. | ||
| What am I looking like? | ||
| How much? | ||
| Yeah, is sodium bad for you? | ||
| Google, is sodium bad for you? | ||
| Well, Yeah, I think it's like everything else. | ||
| Your body needs a small amount of sodium to work properly, but too much sodium can be bad for your health. | ||
| Diets higher in sodium are associated with the increased risk of developing high blood pressure, which is a major cause of stroke and heart disease. | ||
| You know, the problem with that is diets high in sodium, those people are probably overeating too. | ||
| Who is that source? | ||
| FDA. FDA? You can't trust them. | ||
| They're bought out by the pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| It's whores. | ||
| They are whores. | ||
| Do you know what's wild when you see... | ||
| Have you ever seen different people that were the head of the FDA and then where they go after they leave? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| They're major corporations. | ||
| It's always Pfizer, Moderna. | ||
| They go straight to drug companies. | ||
| That should be illegal. | ||
| That seems insane. | ||
| That seems insane that you literally can be the regulatory body that helps these pharmaceutical drug companies and then join them. | ||
| And get millions of dollars. | ||
| My girlfriend just went to an allergy person where she had to get like a thousand shots and find out what she's allergic to. | ||
| And she's allergic to everything. | ||
| And she doesn't have insurance, so she went to the doctor and they were like, okay, we'll work with you not having insurance. | ||
| And they finally prescribed her pill. | ||
| It was like $1,200 a pill or something like that. | ||
| She went to go pick up her prescription and it was thousands of dollars and she had to do it every two weeks to get it filled up. | ||
| How would you ever... | ||
| One pill is a thousand bucks. | ||
| For allergies? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I wish I knew what it was. | ||
| It was the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
| Like, how would you expect anyone to pay for this? | ||
| And you have these pills at HEB right now? | ||
| That's what that Martin Scarelli guy, whatever his name was, that's what he got in trouble for, right? | ||
| Jacking up the price? | ||
| Yeah, jacking up the price, yeah. | ||
| So what's the story with sodium? | ||
| So I got an answer from ChatGPT. | ||
| It basically started off saying the same thing, but down here it gives you a recommended... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Sodium is an essential nutrient the body needs in small amounts to function properly. | ||
| It helps maintain the balance of fluids in the body and supports nerve and muscle function and helps regulate blood pressure. | ||
| However, consuming too much sodium can have negative health effects. | ||
| The most common concern with consuming too much sodium is that it can increase blood pressure, which can lead to higher risk of heart disease and stroke. | ||
| High sodium intake can also increase the risk of developing kidney issues and osteoporosis. | ||
| Recommended daily intake of sodium varies depending on age, sex, and other factors, but in general, adults should aim to consume no more than 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day. | ||
| It's not that much. | ||
| You know, foods that are high in sodium include processed and packaged foods, fast food, salty snacks. | ||
| See, that's my point. | ||
| It's like, all that stuff, like, it's associated with it, but is it causal, right? | ||
| Is that what's causing it? | ||
| Because the thing about people with high-sodium diets is that usually their diet is bullshit. | ||
| They're just eating all kinds of crap. | ||
| Like, if you have regular food, like healthy food, but you put salt on it, is that bad? | ||
| I'm betting it's not that bad. | ||
| I'm betting whatever the fuck is in the other stuff is what's getting you. | ||
| Whenever they do those epidemiology studies where they study your diet based on... | ||
| You fill out a form. | ||
| Like, how many times a week do you eat meat? | ||
| How much cancer do you have? | ||
| And then they pool all that information together. | ||
| And they go, meat is associated with cancer. | ||
| Well, it's like, what else are you eating? | ||
| Are you eating grass-fed steaks? | ||
| Are you eating some shitty burger that's... | ||
| In a fucking processed bun with some goofy-ass mayo with salt and sugar all over it and fries and shakes. | ||
| How do we know it's the meat? | ||
| It sounds like your diet's bullshit. | ||
| So many people have bullshit diets. | ||
| That said, salt can't kill you. | ||
| If you eat a pound of salt, you're fucking dead as shit. | ||
| They used to think MSG was this horrible monster. | ||
| I don't think it's bad anymore. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| I don't think they think it's bad anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not bad anymore. | ||
| Yeah, monosodium glutamate used to be the devil. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there was a reason for it, and it was something really stupid. | ||
| It was like legalization of marijuana is stupid. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It was never bad for you. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| Some industry or something. | ||
| Bourdain always told me it wasn't bad for you. | ||
| He's like, no, it's essential. | ||
| It makes food taste way better. | ||
| Especially like that kind of old school East Coast Chinese food with monosodium glutamate. | ||
| It was the best. | ||
| The best. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| The best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put in more MSG. Just don't eat it every day. | |
| Imitation crab. | ||
| Do you know imitation crab is actually really good? | ||
| Like, have you ever seen those imitation crab legs at the grocery store and they look real, but it says imitation? | ||
| It tastes exactly like crab legs. | ||
| But what's in there? | ||
| It's just fish. | ||
| Yoga mats. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I thought. | ||
| I thought it was just like yoga mats and like wheat or something. | ||
| No, it's fish. | ||
| It's just a different kind of fish. | ||
| Oh, Alaska and Pollock. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Meat ingredient. | ||
| Pollock tastes good, though. | ||
| Oh, wheat. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Wheat and egg white. | ||
| Yeah, binding ingredients. | ||
| Yeah, that's why. | ||
| Because one of my kids cannot have imitation crab meat because of that. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I didn't know there was wheat in it for real. | ||
| But you get something like hot butter, those things are just, it's amazing. | ||
| Look at that word. | ||
| Transglutaminase. | ||
| Transglutaminase. | ||
| Enzymes. | ||
| That's a coagulation binding agent. | ||
| Oh, that shit ain't good, Brian. | ||
| Just eat the regular Pollock. | ||
| It doesn't have wheat and fucking binding agents in it. | ||
| But it tastes good. | ||
| It tastes exactly the same. | ||
| There's certain Chinese food that give you fake crab. | ||
| Some sushi has it also. | ||
| It's good though. | ||
| Tasty. | ||
| But it is wheat. | ||
| You're eating a lot of wheat. | ||
| It is crazy that there's wheat in there. | ||
| I was just joking about having wheat in there. | ||
| It makes sense because it's like dough. | ||
| They have to take all that fish meat and just smash it into a shape. | ||
| There's a chef from New York at a restaurant that used Transglutaminase-treated shrimp and made pasta out of it. | ||
| This is pasta made from 95% shrimp. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Sounds interesting. | ||
| I mean, we have those, like, I've seen chicken pizza, like as the bread kind of, you know how they do cauliflower and stuff? | ||
| I've seen it done with chicken. | ||
| The avant-garde restaurant, WD-50. | ||
|
unidentified
|
WD-50. | |
| This is chicken made with that stuff. | ||
| It's probably the same thing. | ||
| Huh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Meat glue. | ||
| Meat glue? | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Meat glue? | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| It's meat glue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder how that feels going through your colon. | |
| I found this place that's up where I live and it's called Taco Casa. | ||
| And I went to it once, and I was like, holy shit, this is the best white shitty tacos I've ever seen. | ||
| You know, like white people tacos like your parents used to make? | ||
| Found out that back in the 60s, this guy was friends with the creator of Taco Bell, and he had a couple franchises. | ||
| And then that guy that owned Taco Bell sold the company to Pepsi in like the 80s or so. | ||
| And the guy that was friends with him had all these – his own Taco Bell restaurants and he's like, fuck Pepsi. | ||
| I'm just going to rename my franchises to Taco Casa but keep the exact same menu that Taco Bell has. | ||
| And all the ingredients. | ||
| Pepsi then changed all the recipes for Taco Bell. | ||
| And that's why Taco Bell, when you were a kid, seemed like it tasted better and everything was better. | ||
| It's because they changed all their meats and they changed all their ingredients. | ||
| Taco Casa is Taco Bell from the 60s, 70s with the original menu items. | ||
| It even has the color scheme as the old advertising of Taco Bell. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you go in there and you're like, holy shit, this is the best... | ||
| Tacos ever! | ||
| And it's just Taco Bell from the 60s. | ||
| And it is amazing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Highly recommend. | ||
| And they're fans of you. | ||
| Because I always Instagram and tag them and stuff. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| Like if there was a McDonald's you could go to that was a real McDonald's from the 50s where they cooked all their fries and beef fat. | ||
| Exactly the same. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just got it again for the first time recently, maybe three years, McDonald's. | ||
| The Big Mac was so fucking small. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, they're all small now. | ||
| It was like a regular burger size. | ||
| Everything's smaller now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The quarter pounder is the only good meat at McDonald's also because that's the only one that's not frozen. | ||
| So if you want a Big Mac, you ask for a Big Mac with quarter pounder meat. | ||
| That's the way to do it. | ||
| Well, they did do this, but still it was so small. | ||
| They made a bigger Mac at one point, but it was so tiny. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wasn't filling at all. | ||
| It was like five bites and the whole fucking thing was gone. | ||
| Well, Whopper also, I don't know if you've had a Whopper lately. | ||
| They're smaller? | ||
| It's just bullshit. | ||
| It's like, it doesn't even have that, you know how it used to taste like smoke and everything? | ||
| Yeah, flame broiled. | ||
| It doesn't have that anymore. | ||
| And I guess Burger King just announced they're closing like 250 stores. | ||
| Like, they're on the way out, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| How are you going to fuck with In-N-Out? | ||
| I had it last night. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| There's a reason why that has a giant-ass line. | ||
| Not where I live. | ||
| You just walk right up to the counter. | ||
| There's not one car in the drive-thru. | ||
| It's the most amazing thing ever. | ||
| I shouldn't tell people that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm fucked up. | ||
| If there was a Five Guys near me, I'd pick that. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| That's right next door to Five Guys. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's the best because you can get jalapenos and bacon and... | ||
| They're so expensive, though. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| One burger is like $13. | ||
| I guess it's not fast food, though. | ||
| That's what you have to tell yourself. | ||
| Yeah, they're cooking it in front of you. | ||
| The fries are better. | ||
| They have those Cajun fries. | ||
| The NADC burger. | ||
| After talking to him, they're using awesome meat that you can't get everywhere else. | ||
| Yeah, they're using Wagyu ground beef. | ||
| It's so fatty. | ||
| That's why it's so goddamn juicy. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Yeah, those NADC burgers, it's hard to fuck with that. | ||
| But Golden Tiger's pretty goddamn good, too. | ||
| Yeah, you just have to wait a while. | ||
| That place is the bomb diggity. | ||
| Yeah, a good... | ||
| It's funny how, like, thick burgers used to be the thing, but a smash burger is better than a thick burger. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Double patty smash burger. | ||
| It's the crispy ends and stuff like that, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's the way to go. | ||
| I just love when you get a guy like Philip, who's a Michelin star chef, who just concentrates on making the best cheeseburger with American cheese. | ||
| Like, that's the idea behind it. | ||
| And he's like, American cheese is the proper cheese for a cheeseburger like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| For a proper smash burger. | ||
| I wish he would tackle pizza. | ||
| I want to see his take on pizza. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Flat pizza. | ||
| What would it be? | ||
| What kind of style would it be? | ||
| Does Austin have good pizza? | ||
| Is there one place that has really good pizza? | ||
| There's one place up by me called San Giovanni's or something like that. | ||
| It's a distillery during the week, a vodka distillery, and then on Friday and Saturdays they have a legit pizza oven and they cook pizza and it's so amazing. | ||
| Have you had good pizza out here? | ||
| It's hit or miss. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| I mean, Ohio pizza is what we grew up on, so we have very high standards for it. | ||
| It's so true. | ||
| This place that I went to in the Bronx, the Italian deli that made us a sandwich, GNR Deli, that place, if they moved out here, they would make a fucking killing. | ||
| If you had a place like that that made sandwiches like that out here... | ||
| The pepper place? | ||
| They could get the same stuff? | ||
| Yeah, it's imported from Italy. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's all imported from Italy. | ||
| Then, yeah, fuck. | ||
| I mean, what would be the difference? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| This is important to hear. | ||
| The thing they've always said, like, when we're in California, it's like, it's the water. | ||
| The water sucks out here. | ||
| That's why you can't get the right dough. | ||
| And it's like, I don't know if that's really it. | ||
| In Ohio, a lot of it's the oven. | ||
| Like, they've made these ovens they don't use everywhere else, kind of. | ||
| Like, that was always the thing about California, that the water in California sucks. | ||
| That's why the bagels suck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everyone always said that. | ||
| I mean, maybe? | ||
| Can't you just ship water? | ||
| Like, how much water do you need? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like, is this prohibitively expensive? | ||
| Is it impossible to do? | ||
| Like, what is wrong? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| I feel like I've heard it busted, like a myth busted, but maybe it is. | ||
| But what do you think is in water, other than water, that would make your pizza better? | ||
| Well, the thing that makes sense as I'm saying it out loud now is the yeast because that's in the air, is it not? | ||
| Doesn't that come from the environment? | ||
| Yeast? | ||
| Well, it's a fungus, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or spores. | ||
| That changes the dough, right? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| They would have different yeast because of different water? | ||
| What would be the content of the water? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| Water's not a mystery. | ||
| Water's not some strange compound from another planet that we have to analyze. | ||
| We kind of know what's in water. | ||
| It's H2O and minerals, right? | ||
| So can't you add minerals that would sort of recreate whatever the mineral content is? | ||
| Yeah, you should be able to recreate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It seems easy. | |
| A little bit of rat hair in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is easy. | |
| A little bit of fucking SSRIs floating into the... | ||
| We're going to open a bagel shop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sounds like pizza. | ||
| Pizza's the move. | ||
| Pizza and bagels. | ||
| We need like a real legit pizza place here. | ||
| Maybe there's one we don't know of yet. | ||
| I sampled them frequently. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| If not once or twice a week. | ||
| The person to ask is Portnoy. | ||
| Well, I did ask him. | ||
| So the place he went to, I'd never heard of. | ||
| It's called like Samatoro or something like that. | ||
| I've had it now. | ||
| And it's pretty good. | ||
| It's just it's not my style of pizza. | ||
| I don't think it's his style of pizza either. | ||
| It's a little more... | ||
| It's way too nice, kind of. | ||
| It's really kind of thick, bready, crust. | ||
| He likes more of a New York style. | ||
| Thin crust, like New Haven, Connecticut pizza. | ||
| Yeah, he hasn't found a good one here in Austin. | ||
| And then last week he said that Houston is the worst city that he's ever been to for pizza. | ||
| It's all in Where the Guineas Go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, if the Italians go to, you know, California, they'd have great pizza out there. | ||
| And some of them did. | ||
| There's some good pizza in California. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Regardless of what everybody says. | ||
| But the bread does taste different. | ||
| Bread in New York really does taste different. | ||
| Italian bread from New York tastes better. | ||
| It's like there's something missing when you get bread in California. | ||
| Like, there's something wrong with it. | ||
| Just something. | ||
| Just like an imitation. | ||
| Like, it's pretty good, but it's missing something. | ||
| Maybe it's the East. | ||
| Maybe it's the East. | ||
| I'm going to Google and see if there's a quick answer. | ||
| Well, you know, like, there's, like, where Cuban cigars are grown, it's a very small area where they grow the best cigars. | ||
| It's very small, and they supply them to the whole world. | ||
| Someone was just explaining to me, oh, Bill Burr, was explaining to me how, um, Most of the cigars that people buy when they buy Cuban cigars are frauds. | ||
| Fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It just happened to him. | ||
| A bunch of firemen gave him like 25 Cuban cigars and he was like, I got these cigars. | ||
| And then like a week later he said on his podcast that he found out they were all fake. | ||
| How do you find out? | ||
| Are you going to get them genetically tested? | ||
| Yeah, how do you know? | ||
| Yeah, but it makes sense because it's a small area. | ||
| This area in Cuba where they grow the best cigars is not that big. | ||
| And they supply the best cigars to the whole world. | ||
| It's weird that like soil can affect stuff so much. | ||
| Like the mineral content. | ||
| That's the 100% article I'm reading right now. | ||
| It's talking about how they changed what they're putting in the soil to grow wheat and whatnot. | ||
| Makes the air better, but makes the food not as good. | ||
| Well, this throws off everything, because L.A. has the worst air ever. | ||
| Less acid rain is good for the environment, but potentially bad for bread. | ||
| But I don't think they're growing the bread in California is the problem, so it's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Wonder Bread factories aren't out there. | ||
| Wonder Bread. | ||
| Is that even bread? | ||
| Ooh, it's so good. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Wonder Bread with peanut butter and jelly is about... | ||
| Is that food or is that dessert? | ||
| Yeah, that's a squishy sandwich. | ||
| Sunday night in Columbus. | ||
| It's more dessert than it is food. | ||
| Like a Wonder Bread peanut butter and jelly sandwich is... | ||
| Wonder Bread Grilled Cheese, sensational. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Sensational. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| But is it really bread? | ||
| No, that's more like a pastry, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a pastry. | |
| It's a pastry. | ||
| But I just recently went back to white bread just because I accidentally bought it once, and it was so amazing. | ||
| Like, that peanut butter and jelly hits so much better when it's just shitty white bread. | ||
| Yeah, like, if you're gonna eat peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly's not good for you anyway. | ||
| Let's stop playing games. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Have it on a piece of white bread. | ||
| It's not good for you, but I also don't feel bad when I eat it, for some reason. | ||
| When we were in New York, we stopped at Katz's Deli. | ||
| Three o'clock in the morning, had a Reuben. | ||
| Oh my god, it was sensational. | ||
| It's that high. | ||
| It's just oozing with sauerkraut and sauce. | ||
| Do you think that's unnecessary, though? | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| You don't have to have it that high. | ||
| Shut the fuck up, you communist. | ||
| Yeah, that's just crazy. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Look, it was so good, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It was so good. | ||
| And it's just the fact that it's the same place every time you go back. | ||
| This guy that we've been going to, every time we go to this one meat cutter, like the way Cantor's works, or excuse me, the way Katz's works. | ||
| Cantor's my favorite spot in L.A. The way Katz's works, you get a ticket when you walk in, and then you get a bunch of things punched on the ticket, then you pay on the way out the door. | ||
| Well, when you walk up to the meat cutter, you give the guy your ticket, tell him what you want, he writes down on the ticket, he gives you a little slice of pastrami to try. | ||
| This guy's been the same guy we've been going to for a decade. | ||
| And finally we had a conversation with him. | ||
| And he goes, I'm celebrating 33 years here. | ||
| I'm like, 33 years? | ||
| Like, he started there when he was a kid. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a life. | ||
| Can you imagine your whole life working at the same, like, food place? | ||
| Probably long-ass hours, too. | ||
| That's the place. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Classic. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's so classic. | ||
| And it's been the same interior since, like, you know, the fucking early 1900s. | ||
| It's just an amazing place. | ||
| It's a real, like, New York staple. | ||
| And all those guys that are working behind the counter, the meat cutters, if you see the meat cutters in there, those guys are all, like, classic New York characters. | ||
| I can already imagine what they look like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is there not a picture of them? | ||
| It's just the food and people eating there. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Old spots like that are the shit. | ||
| There's something about old places. | ||
| Like that's one of the things about the club that we have. | ||
| There's something about that old ass building. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| That building's got like a personality. | ||
| I was watching a documentary about that place, your place, a couple weeks ago when it was still a movie theater. | ||
| And like they were in the projection room. | ||
| And I guess that projection room would be where... | ||
| Around where the green room is. | ||
| It is the green room. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And so it was really cool seeing it and seeing the differences and stuff. | ||
| One thing, did you guys put in the spaceship when you walk into the lobby or was that already there? | ||
| Yeah, we put that in there. | ||
| Well, it's weird because I just played the other Alamo theater the other day. | ||
| They have an amazing little room in there and they have almost an exact replica of that spaceship On the second floor. | ||
| Like that it's crashed, right? | ||
| No, like the round... | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| It's because... | ||
| That's Richard too, right? | ||
| Is that Richard Weiss? | ||
| Did he design that? | ||
| I believe he did. | ||
| Oh, he did? | ||
| Because it's so familiar. | ||
| That's because that's the recreation of the Close Encounters of the Third Con scene, which is an amazing scene. | ||
| Remember that scene? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| See if you can find that scene. | ||
| I fucking love that scene. | ||
| That's such a good scene. | ||
| Goddamn, that was good. | ||
| When that big UFO just showed up and it was near Devil's Tower and took people aboard and aliens got out. | ||
| The mothership, that's what it was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when we started... | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, give me some volume, because it... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give her six quavers, then pause. then pause. | |
| She sends us four quavers, a group of five quavers, a group of four semi quavers. | ||
| This is such a good movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're communicating with UFOs through sound. | ||
| What are we saying to each other? | ||
| Seems they're trying to teach us a basic tonal vocabulary. | ||
| It's the first day of school, fellas. | ||
| Why would they play the tuba, though? | ||
| If you're an alien, I think if they were to make that movie today, it would be like very synthetic sounds like EDM or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, for sure. | |
| It wouldn't be like trumpets. | ||
| Back then they never predicted EDM. The closest they had was disco. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was kind of EDM-ish. | ||
| Yeah, but better. | ||
| That fucking movie was amazing. | ||
| It would definitely sound like Skrillex. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they have like keyboards and piano. | ||
| I wonder why they decided to do it this way, to have language be communicated through music and lights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the 70s. | ||
| It's the 70s, man. | ||
| They didn't know any better. | ||
| Isn't it funny that even in today's science fiction movies, no one's on their phone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's an article I read about that. | ||
| I wonder if it's true. | ||
| They said it's not interesting to watch people on their phones. | ||
| It's definitely not, but it's also not realistic to not have people on their phones. | ||
| Is it a movie or is it on a movie? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Only TV shows, people are on their phones. | ||
| I just rewatched Top Gun the other day. | ||
| Have you seen the original Top Gun in a while? | ||
| That doesn't really hold up very well, man. | ||
| There's a part where he's hitting on a girl and then he finds out that the girl is with her wife or boyfriend or something like that. | ||
| And so then he just starts watching her and she goes to the bathroom and he follows her into the bathroom and starts talking about how he wants to fuck her on the sink. | ||
| And it's just like how creepy Tom Cruise is just going into women's restrooms and then talking about fucking her on a sink and shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| It was one of those movies my girlfriend's so young she hasn't seen, so I'm like, oh, you gotta see Top Gun. | ||
| And halfway through she's like, this is the cheesiest movie I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, it is. | ||
| Those are the cocaine days. | ||
| They were doing cocaine in writing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that's like the Showgirls days. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Showgirls is the best cocaine movie of all time. | ||
| She's with her husband herself. | ||
| He's like, ugh. | ||
| He's drinking his Bud Light, by the way. | ||
| He's a regular Budweiser. | ||
| He's a drink light. | ||
| And he goes to the ladies' room, and he's going to follow her. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Give me some volume on this. | ||
| He just met her. | ||
| What a creep. | ||
| He just met her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a long cruise, wasn't it, Selah? | |
| It's too long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you want to do? | |
| Just drop right down on the tile and go for it? | ||
| Actually, I had this counter in mind. | ||
| That would be very, very comfortable, yeah. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| Actually, I came in here to save you from making a big mistake with that old guy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So I could go on to a bigger one with a young guy like yourself? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| No. | ||
| This movie sucks. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And this is the woman's restroom. | ||
| He just met her two minutes before this. | ||
| This is so weird. | ||
| It's so weird that she's like, get the fuck out of here, you creep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then other women aren't in there shitting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, like, the whole thing is just like, what the fuck is this? | |
| What kind of writing is this? | ||
| And she went into the bathroom just to, like, look at her lip or something. | ||
| Like, she didn't even do anything in the bathroom, if you noticed. | ||
| Just want to reapply. | ||
| Reapply makeup. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The writer's strike's happening right now, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| So are all those late night talk shows fucked? | ||
| They're showing reruns and stuff, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They can't operate without writers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-mm. | |
| I would just do AI. I'd be like... | ||
| How about just interview people? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Just bring people in. | ||
| You have to have writers. | ||
| Did you see the South Park episode they did with that? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think they had ChatGPT write an episode. | ||
| Oh, they did? | ||
| At the end it says, like, co-written by Trace Parker and ChatGPT. | ||
| Oh, no shit. | ||
| It might have been a joke making a joke about the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or they might have actually used ChatGPT to write a monologue. | |
| You could have ChatGPT write a lot of monologue for Jimmy Fallon. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That would be easy. | ||
| You should type in the chat, GBT, make a romantic story summary between Joe Rogan and Jamie. | ||
| That would be easy. | ||
| Do it, Jamie. | ||
| It doesn't know who I am. | ||
| I've tried. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It made up three people. | ||
| I asked who works on this show before. | ||
| It made up three names. | ||
| Michio Kaku had a very good point. | ||
| It scours the entire internet. | ||
| So it's like people write nonsense and lies. | ||
| It scoops up those nonsense and lies and throws it in there too. | ||
| It can't discern. | ||
| But it will be able to eventually. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| I heard that there's people that work behind the scenes on like ChatGBT and they're just like minimum wage like McDonald's workers. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, there was an article that just came out yesterday about ChatGBT employs people to, I forget what they do, but they kind of like fact-checked or label the responses and they end up, they're only getting paid like $15 an hour or something. | ||
| I think this was, this might not be the same article, but I think this is how they were using it to program it maybe. | ||
| OpenAI used Kenyan workers for less than $2 per hour to make CHAP-GPT less toxic. | ||
| Less toxic? | ||
| There used to be a service a while ago, a long time ago, I forget what it's called, but you'd ask a question and people would answer for you and then respond sort of like cha-cha or some shit like that. | ||
| There's something super creepy about the fact that it's become totally normal for companies to use people in other countries that make almost no money to make things that they sell for thousands of dollars like iPhones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's so weird that no one has shifted to manufacturing something like an iPhone in America. | ||
| No one has shifted to manufacturing all these things you see in these fucking creepy places where they're digging minerals out of the ground to make your phone. | ||
| Just one company. | ||
| One company. | ||
| Make everything here. | ||
| Pay everybody well. | ||
| Make me not feel like shit for buying a phone. | ||
| Is there a phone you can buy that's the most ethical phone? | ||
| Eh, not really. | ||
| Not unless you want a fucking cord plugged into the wall. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What's the most ethical phone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There used to be that one. | ||
| Isn't there the Fairphone? | ||
| Is that like one? | ||
| There used to be that one. | ||
| Aren't they whack though? | ||
| The problem is they can't compete. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You also have to use Android. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll never use an iPhone. | ||
| Is there anybody that's more in a cult than the Android people? | ||
| Talking to Brian Simpson, I would have to agree with that. | ||
| Brian Simpson's ready to switch. | ||
| Oh, is he? | ||
| I work on him sometimes. | ||
| Oh, you work on him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's just get him an Apple Watch and see what happens. | ||
| I do it 100% just to fuck with him. | ||
| I'm like, come on, bro. | ||
| Come over here, Blue. | ||
| You don't want to send green text anymore. | ||
| He's like, well, when they come up with a USB-C, maybe I'll do it. | ||
| That way I don't have to change all my chargers. | ||
| I go, yeah, that's the time. | ||
| That's the time. | ||
| You'll never go back. | ||
| I'm like, once you airdrop someone a video in like five seconds, and you realize like, oh, this is like perfect resolution. | ||
| It went through Bluetooth. | ||
| I don't even have to have Wi-Fi on. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| Bluetooth. | ||
| AirDrop is the shit. | ||
| And the fact that they can't share back and forth with Android, that alone keeps me from, you know... | ||
| I mean, how many times do we take photos and just AirDrop them to each other? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| AirDrop's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I use it all the time to do it to my computer. | ||
| Oh, they just announced yesterday that they're bringing Final Cut Pro and Logic to the iPad, which is insane. | ||
| Like, you could edit ProRes video on an iPad now. | ||
| Well, the processing power is so good now. | ||
| It's crazy that that thin little thing has amazing battery life, crazy processing power. | ||
| Final Cut Pro on an iMac. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or on an iPad. | ||
| But the bad thing is, I think about, like, you know, when I edit Kill Tony and, you know, all that stuff, there's no way that that has enough storage space on that iPad to do all that. | ||
| Don't they have a terabyte? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You get a terabyte. | ||
| The biggest one's two, maybe? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| And I don't know if you can plug a, if plugging a hard drive in works the way it should on a laptop. | ||
| Just put it all in the cloud, Brian. | ||
| No. | ||
| Put everything in the cloud. | ||
| We'll take care of you up here. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| All you dick pics. | ||
| Up here in the clouds. | ||
| No, instead I have a closet of hundreds of hard drives. | ||
| Remember when we used to take them to the range and shoot them? | ||
| Yeah, that was fun, dude. | ||
| That was a lot of fun. | ||
| I need to do that again. | ||
| I still need to get a gun. | ||
| I'm going tomorrow. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Do you want to go to the range? | ||
| Let's go shoot guns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of gun do you want? | ||
| I'll get you a gun. | ||
| I was thinking a Glock 17 or Glock 19 or something. | ||
| That fucking John Wick gun. | ||
| What's a John Wick gun? | ||
| You gotta see a badass gun. | ||
| I don't really like guns that much, but that gun looked fucking sweet. | ||
| The pistol you mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I got one of those. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Terran Tactical. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| Go to Terran Tactical's Instagram picture. | ||
| Oh, I want to see what that is. | ||
| It's a 211. And why is it when girls shoot guns at gun ranges, they're always hot as fuck? | ||
| That's just on Instagram. | ||
| If you go to the place where I go, there's some burly ladies. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There's some stout women. | ||
| Yeah, there's also the shotgun he has. | ||
| I think it's also Taryn's gun. | ||
| That's the Glock. | ||
| That's the.34. | ||
| So that's what Taryn Tactical does. | ||
| That's the pit viper. | ||
| That's the one that I have. | ||
| That's the shoot. | ||
| That looks great. | ||
| That is the smoothest, flattest shooting gun. | ||
| That thing is so nice. | ||
| Wow, show the shotgun to her now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In action, no spoiler alert, but the shotgun in the movie was cool. | ||
| Yeah, I can't wait to see the movie. | ||
| It comes out on streaming sometime in June, apparently. | ||
| So I'll wait. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't go to the movie theater. | |
| I can't either. | ||
| Dude, I didn't even see Avatar yet. | ||
| Oh, Avatar. | ||
| I saw Avatar in the movie theater. | ||
| I took my kids, though. | ||
| We were on vacation. | ||
| We went to see it. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| We didn't even see it in IMAX. We didn't see it 3D. It was awesome. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Those movies are great. | ||
| It just sucks. | ||
| It takes them 15 years to make one. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But he's on the process of... | ||
| They filmed a bunch in a row, right? | ||
| Yeah, there's another one coming out like a year or two or something like that, I thought. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I thought. | ||
| He didn't want the kids to age, weirdly. | ||
| He's a crazy fuck, that James Cameron, but he knocks it out of the park. | ||
| Did you see the Mario movie? | ||
| No. | ||
| Was it good? | ||
| I heard it was fun. | ||
| It's a fun movie. | ||
| Anything that's in the movie theater, I'm not seeing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wait till it gets on streaming. | ||
| It's not that long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can wait a few months. | ||
| There's plenty of shit to watch. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Are you watching Succession? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you watch it at all? | ||
| I don't watch any of those shit. | ||
| I watched that new Asian show with Margaret... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Beef. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| David Show. | ||
| David Show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| It's fucking great. | ||
| It's easy to watch. | ||
| The characters are all awesome. | ||
| David's awesome in it. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard it's really good. | ||
| David's the shit. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| He's so nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's great, man. | ||
| He said he was thinking about moving here last time. | ||
| He wants to. | ||
| He wants to move here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I brought him to the club and toured him around. | ||
| He's like, God damn. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, it's paradise. | ||
| Yeah, he grilled my girlfriend because she's Asian. | ||
| He goes, you're who I want to talk about. | ||
| Yeah, he's funny. | ||
| Is this good for an Asian place? | ||
| He's like, where can I get real fucking kimchi? | ||
| Real fucking dirty, you know, buried in the backyard kimchi. | ||
| He loves that. | ||
| Kimchi, man. | ||
| Kimchi and meat. | ||
| What a fucking great combo that is. | ||
| Elk meat and kimchi. | ||
| I've never had elk meat and kimchi, but I love kimchi. | ||
| Have you had elk meat before? | ||
| Just that one time you gave me some. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Did you cook it? | ||
| Or did I cook it for you? | ||
| I think you cooked it for me. | ||
| I brought it. | ||
| I should have everybody over for a barbecue. | ||
| It's getting hot. | ||
| We should do a fucking daytime comics barbecue at my place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That'd be fun. | ||
| You know who can cook? | ||
| Dono Rawlings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Donnell can cook. | ||
| He can really cook. | ||
| Like, I haven't experienced it perfectly, but I've seen some of the photos, personally rather, but I've seen some of the photos, and Dave talks about it, he's like, he can cook. | ||
| Like, really barbecue. | ||
| He knows his shit. | ||
| Like, he gets, like, real intense about it, too. | ||
| Motherfucker, I can cook! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can cook! | |
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, we should do that. | ||
| We should have like a comedian's barbecue. | ||
| That's what I want to do one of these days. | ||
| The ultimate goal for the podcast is a ranch. | ||
| To have a ranch where we can go and fucking launch missiles and drive ATVs and have a pond to fish in. | ||
| I want to have an outdoor amphitheater. | ||
| I want to have a place where we can go and we can do all kinds of wild shit. | ||
| Not just sit down and have a podcast, but have a podcast on a fishing boat. | ||
| Just fuck around. | ||
| Have some fun. | ||
| That sounds awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We need to fuck around more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, we're getting older, Brian. | ||
| We don't have much time left. | ||
| I failed my eye test at the DMV the other day. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| So getting your license out here or getting anything done with the DMV out here is completely insane. | ||
| You have to get your car inspected every year, even if it's brand new, even if it's electric. | ||
| There's all these extra things. | ||
| And the DMV was no different. | ||
| I had to, like, do all this stuff. | ||
| And finally, I get down to the eye exam test. | ||
| He's like, all right, read the bottom line. | ||
| And I couldn't fucking read it. | ||
| I said like, and he goes, there's no numbers in this. | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit. | ||
| Because I was like, one, five, H. You know? | ||
| You were just blurry? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he goes, do you have glasses? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, I have glasses at home, but they're not that powerful. | ||
| And he goes, you have to go home and get them. | ||
| So he made me drive all the way home like 30 minutes and come all the way back. | ||
| And then I put on the glasses and this other guy takes out this other piece of paper and doesn't make me read the bottom, makes me read the middle. | ||
| And he goes, I'm like, oh, I just have to read the middle? | ||
| And he's like, yeah. | ||
| And I passed immediately. | ||
| And I was like, wait, why did this guy make me read like the very bottom from like... | ||
| He doesn't like you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe he's a Kill Tony fan. | ||
| He's mad at you. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| He's on the Reddit forum. | ||
| Yeah, the regulations out here for that are a little stricter. | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| I hate the inspection thing, because they look at your tent, they look at everything. | ||
| Yeah, it's okay. | ||
| It doesn't bother me that much. | ||
| It's weird how much more free you are with other stuff, though. | ||
| Like, even in the city of Austin, getting the club open was a breeze. | ||
| I mean, there was some stuff we had to go through, but everybody was really pleasant to deal with. | ||
| No problems, you know? | ||
| People are excited that comedy's here. | ||
| That's one of the cool things about it. | ||
| It's like the town itself. | ||
| I met the mayor the other day. | ||
| He's cool as shit. | ||
| And they're all excited that we're here. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's a new thing to have a whole comedy community to set up shop. | ||
| Literally, a giant chunk of the comedy store is here. | ||
| Just setting up shop. | ||
| Holtzman is here now. | ||
| My favorite thing is every week, who's in town this week? | ||
| It's kind of like we get our own comics coming to us. | ||
| It's kind of like it's fun. | ||
| Yeah, it's like our own little festival. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, so we're flying people in, like Ian Edwards was here last weekend, and it's like Russell Peters was here the weekend before that. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| Harlan Williams is here. | ||
| Yeah, he killed it. | ||
| Yeah, he's hilarious. | ||
| He's such a good dude, too. | ||
| If you don't like Harlan, who doesn't like Harlan? | ||
| Have you ever heard a bad word said about that guy ever? | ||
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Because he's the good kind of funny. | ||
| He's the sweetest guy on earth. | ||
| He's so nice to everyone. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Always has been. | ||
| I've known Harlan for like 30 years. | ||
| He's always been that guy. | ||
| Hey, buttercup. | ||
| He's always been like super friendly to everyone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Managers, waitresses, staff. | |
| He's just a nice fucking guy. | ||
| Funny as shit. | ||
| Always been that guy, too. | ||
| So nice that someone could, like, make it and show business. | ||
| And just be the sweetest guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| No worries at all. | ||
| Yeah, so having guys like that, like, come in every week is amazing. | ||
| Jessica Curzon was here the other day. | ||
| She did a couple of shows. | ||
| Joey came by. | ||
| I wish Joey would have stayed longer. | ||
| Joey's so crazy. | ||
| He only did one set. | ||
| It's so funny, like, Joey was supposed to do, he goes, I'm gonna do the 10 o'clock show. | ||
| I go, 2 to 7 too. | ||
| Come on, Joey. | ||
| Go up there and fuck these people up. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Because he hasn't really been doing that much stand-up. | ||
| And so he had to get himself worked up, right? | ||
| He got worked up. | ||
| He got really angry right before. | ||
| He gets angry at us. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He fucking loved the fact that his quote is on the wall, though, in neon. | ||
| Get it together, bitch. | ||
| How many times did he say that to us? | ||
| Get it together, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get it together. | |
| He fucking probably said that a thousand times. | ||
| Every time you're about to go on stage. | ||
| Get it together, Red Band. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Get it together, bitch. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Let's go, cocksucker. | ||
| Science. | ||
| Yeah, so he was here. | ||
| Dave Smith was here. | ||
| The boy Ari and Shane and Norman are coming by this week. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| Next week, brother. | ||
| We're going to have so much fucking fun. | ||
| It's been amazing, man. | ||
| It's like a dream. | ||
| Like, when you're in that place and you're hanging out in the green room, like, this place is perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything's perfect. | ||
| Yeah, I've been hanging out a lot more now. | ||
| Ever since it opened, I was like, this is what I missed. | ||
| This hang is what I missed. | ||
| The clubhouse. | ||
| Getting to talk shop. | ||
| Me and Tony and Sarah and Cam were just sitting in a booth last night just laughing and talking shop. | ||
| Just talking about gigs and bits and this and that and travel and Remember this time and that time, and oh my god. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| That camaraderie that you get from a home base is what I've missed so much. | ||
| And now I feel like we have it more than we ever had it before. | ||
| More than the store, even. | ||
| You know, it's like the store's back bar on steroids. | ||
| And then when everybody goes down there and the music is awesome and everybody's happy, just such a great environment, man. | ||
| You guys have one of the best staffs also. | ||
| There's not like one bad staff member. | ||
| Everyone's just solid. | ||
| No, they're great. | ||
| Well, because we brought so many people from the store, and then Carrie just took care of all, you know, she just knows how to handle stuff. | ||
| She's the best. | ||
| It's just, fuck, it's amazing. | ||
| It just, it feels like a dream, like, while you're there, like, how is this real? | ||
| How did we do it? | ||
| And especially for us, because we talked about doing it for, like, two fucking years, you know? | ||
| It's like, for two years, everybody was, like, mocking us. | ||
| Like, when's your club opening? | ||
| I'm like, it takes time. | ||
| It takes time, okay? | ||
| It's not that fucking easy. | ||
| It takes time. | ||
| And you've done so much to that place, though. | ||
| There was a lot of construction. | ||
| Lowering the ceiling, I heard, took an extra two months just for that, you know? | ||
| Well, that was after Louis came by. | ||
| Louis came by, and he gave me some really good pointers, a really good piece of advice. | ||
| I should just say direction, because I just did everything he said. | ||
| You know, he's like, this stage is too big. | ||
| Should we make this stage smaller? | ||
| I was like, you're right. | ||
| Why is it so big? | ||
| Yeah, okay, it's good. | ||
| So this is like while construction was going on. | ||
| They had to cut into the rebar and shit. | ||
| Okay, we're going to make this two feet shorter on each side. | ||
| I think we made it four feet shorter on each side. | ||
| Of the stage? | ||
| Yeah, the little boy. | ||
| The little room. | ||
| And so then he said, and the ceiling was already low in the little room. | ||
| He said, lower it even more. | ||
| Because all the ceilings, the way the Alamo Drafthouse was, it was a movie theater. | ||
| So it was set up like a movie theater. | ||
| It's like stage, you know, like concert stadium seating. | ||
| And so what we did is we lifted the floor up. | ||
| In both rooms. | ||
| So it's flat now, flat across, and then we lowered the ceiling as well. | ||
| So we just made it just cozy. | ||
| Best sound system ever. | ||
| Yeah, it's perfect. | ||
| It's so amazing. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| And it's like one of those things where when comics experience it, they realize like, oh, this is the optimum environment for doing the art. | ||
| For being around the comics, having fun, all fucking around together and having a really good time and the audience has a great time. | ||
| It's magic. | ||
| It's like everything I could have ever hoped it would be. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| And I'm glad that you're right next door, too. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| It's awesome to have so many clothes. | ||
| Because even people that are staffed there, those folks that work the door, those folks are all stand-ups. | ||
| So if they have a spot, like at the Creek in the Cave at 9.30, they can punch out and go do their spot and then come back and punch back in. | ||
| And that's, it's amazing because like, you know, I did the secret show and half your staff is on the show when they're wearing their comedy, like everyone's wearing the same staff shirts, you know? | ||
| And that's a good thing because that's, that would never, that's never heard of if any comedy club, like in LA, they would never let you like clock out at the laugh factory to go do a spot at the improv. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| You know, that would never happen. | ||
| So that's what, there almost needs to be a position that all the clubs pay for, like a Yoni or somebody that goes in between each one and goes, hurry, you have three minutes to go back to work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, we're trying to set it up for new talent, too. | ||
| The big thing that Burr and I actually talked about this is the big mistake that a lot of these big clubs did is they stopped doing open mics because you don't ever develop any local talent. | ||
| You've got to bite the bullet on those nights, and you've got to have two nights of amateurs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I think Two Nights is the way to do it. | ||
| That's how the store did it. | ||
| And I think, you know, the development process here is probably going to be more accelerated. | ||
| Because you have more opportunities for sets. | ||
| There's sets all around town. | ||
| There's sets all around that block. | ||
| And you're going to get to see, like, top flight comics who come into town. | ||
| Which is big for, like, young comics to see good comics. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| For me, like, growing up in Boston especially, starting out there, I was so lucky to be able to see guys that are already, like, really good. | ||
| Because if you're in a spot like, you know, some city where there's not that much... | ||
| When you start your own open mic night, like, who are you... | ||
| Who are you working with? | ||
| There's no one there. | ||
| It's hard to develop unless there's other comics to compare to and watch. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And that doesn't happen in a lot of these corporate clubs and cities where they just have a wacky comedy club. | ||
| You can't just hang out there. | ||
| They won't let you just hang out there as a young comic and watch movies. | ||
| Also, people kind of know what you're doing. | ||
| They'll come in if Shane Gillis is in town. | ||
| They'll come in if Rich Voss is in town. | ||
| They'll come in and pay. | ||
| But they're not going to be there all the time. | ||
| But to set it up the way that we set it up, who the fuck's going to do that? | ||
| Nobody's going to do that. | ||
| We also, at Sunset, we have open mics on the day of Kill Tony. | ||
| We'll have, before Kill Tony starts, we'll have one-minute mics. | ||
| So people can go in there and just try a minute real quick before they go sign up for Kill Tony. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Because if you do get a chance to do Kill Tony, you already warmed it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| And to test out the timing, too. | ||
| A lot of people think a minute, you know. | ||
| Well, you have a good place, too, if a big comic wants to come, too, because you have 500 seats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, we can go up pretty high in that place. | ||
| Right now, we only have it, like, at 200, 300 if we need to. | ||
| Oh, so you have it, like, modular? | ||
| Yeah, we have it. | ||
| So they take the seats out and make it how many ever tickets are. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| To make it a little bit more intimate and stuff. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Spread it out and stuff. | ||
| It's a good space, though. | ||
| It's a good space for stand-up. | ||
| There's a speakeasy right below it, which is so weird. | ||
| There's this light in the alley, and if the light's on, that means it's open. | ||
| And if you go down our back stairs, you'll just see this door, and it's like, what's in that door? | ||
| You open that door, and it's just this underground bar that looks like it's in the 80s, and it's really trippy. | ||
| And it's so interesting that there's... | ||
| Really? | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| It's pretty decent. | ||
| It's about the size of a Subway sandwich place or something. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting though. | ||
| The speakeasy business in this town is very interesting. | ||
| There's a lot of secret bars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| It's like they're private clubs so they can get away from staying openly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's one down the street from us called like VCR Repair or something like that. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Floppy Disk Repair. | ||
| Floppy Disk Repair. | ||
| And it looks like a computer store or something like Floppy Disk Repair. | ||
| They get the code to get in every day. | ||
| They change it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| If you go into a different bar, I think it's like the garage bar, which isn't a parking garage. | ||
| It's like, what's... | ||
| Why is there a bar in the middle of this fucking parking garage or whatever? | ||
| And you go inside and you're like, hey, what's the code to the other bar? | ||
| They might tell you, they might not. | ||
| There's another way to get it too, I read, but I've never been in it. | ||
| What's in the floppy disk bar? | ||
| Oh, show the picture of it if you can. | ||
| I've never been inside of it because I always thought it was like, what is going on here? | ||
| This is like a rug store in Glendale. | ||
| This is a money front. | ||
| Like, who's going to get floppy disks repaired? | ||
| A rug store in Glendale. | ||
| Yeah, that's the outside. | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what? | |
| That's a bar. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| There's the secret door kind of thing. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| That's a bar. | ||
| It's like swings. | ||
| So it's just a bar with... | ||
| Special weird drinks. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I can't really see a lot of pictures of that anyway. | ||
| Alrighty. | ||
| There's a lot of those in Austin, though. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's fun down there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There you go. | ||
| A lot of secrets. | ||
| Like swings as the seats. | ||
| You've done that... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Spider Ballroom? | ||
| Oh yeah, the Spider Ballroom. | ||
| They do stand up there sometimes? | ||
| Yeah, they do a lot of shows there. | ||
| That's a nice little stage. | ||
| That's a dope looking room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They sold, I think the owners sold it to a new owner, and so it's not the exact same as it used to be. | ||
| It used to have a lot more charm. | ||
| There was an old piano outside that had been weathered down by weather, and they used to have this really cool courtyard with all this really cool stuff, and it looks like somebody just kind of cleaned it up now. | ||
| So it's still pretty cool though. | ||
| Have you done the Velveeta yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| Velveeta's across the street from Vulcan, kind of. | ||
| Ron said there's another room across the street, too, called the Green Room. | ||
| He said it's like 70 seats. | ||
| Oh, I haven't even heard of that. | ||
| Yeah, me neither. | ||
| I've been going there for 20 years. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So there's apparently another spot there, too. | ||
| Ask the locals. | ||
| There's all sorts of mics that are going on all over the fucking place. | ||
| Yeah, I showed you pictures of that Alamo I did the other day. | ||
| It was like being in a circus. | ||
| It was the coolest room ever. | ||
| I think Richard did those too. | ||
| The guy who did our place, we got the same architect who did the remodel for the Alamo Drafthouse. | ||
| So the same guy that did the Close Encounters thing... | ||
| That beautiful thing. | ||
| All these Alamos are all themes. | ||
| They all have different themes, like the theme from The Shining. | ||
| You know when there's the one where it's the carpet with the big wheel in the middle of it? | ||
| He did all those. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kind of like fries. | ||
| Remember fries? | ||
| Exactly, like fries. | ||
| He also did... | ||
| The RZA has a bar in Staten Island called The Flying Guillotine. | ||
| And it's like a kung fu themed bar. | ||
| Because, you know, Wu-Tang, they're all into Kung Fu. | ||
| And that's why it's called The Flying Guillotine, because I think The Flying Guillotine was a Kung Fu movie. | ||
| Have you been to that Wu-Tang-inspired restaurant here in Austin? | ||
| No. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| You know what it's called, Jamie? | ||
| Danny Brown took me to it, and it's something Wu-Tang. | ||
| It's a restaurant, and they only play Wu-Tang the whole time you're there and stuff, but it's like a Chinese restaurant. | ||
| Wu Chow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wu Chow? | |
| Wu Chow. | ||
| Wu Chow's not Wu-Tang inspired. | ||
| That's what Danny Brown told me. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Danny Brown told me that? | ||
| Yeah, because they played Wu-Tang the whole time. | ||
| They play all kinds of music there. | ||
| No, I don't know. | ||
| On Danny Brown's truck. | ||
| Yeah, maybe he was. | ||
| Maybe I misheard him, but that was a while ago. | ||
| But yeah, he took me to that place at school. | ||
| Yeah, Wu Chow's great. | ||
| That's TK's place. | ||
| CK, he also owns that omakase sushi place, Toshikon. | ||
| Have you been there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god, it's amazing. | ||
| There's some good spots. | ||
| Yeah, maybe CK was there and they were just playing Wu-Tang. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Because last time I was there, they were playing all kinds of music. | ||
| But the Chinese food here is legit too. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Have you eaten at Lin? | ||
| No. | ||
| Lynn is legit. | ||
| Lynn, I think she started at Wuchow and then left to start her own place. | ||
| Where's it at? | ||
| It's off 6th. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| Yeah, I'm up there, man. | ||
| I'm up north, so I don't really... | ||
| I haven't gone to a lot of stuff. | ||
| You're out where you hear gunshots at night. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's a bobcat that lives in my backyard. | ||
| Yeah, coyotes don't howl in your neck of the woods. | ||
| They get shot. | ||
| Yeah, sidetracked. | ||
| Old video I saw, but maybe it's new. | ||
| There's a family walking through the jungle, I guess, and a mountain lion or jaguar or whatever just pops up right next to them. | ||
| Little kids. | ||
| Two little kids, guide, mom. | ||
| They just freeze. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| I couldn't tell. | ||
| I thought as you were saying it, I was like, maybe this is a really old video. | ||
| I felt like I had seen it before, but also just watched it yesterday. | ||
| There was a fox in my yard the other day. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| They are so cool. | ||
| They're so cool looking. | ||
| Their faces are so interesting. | ||
| They're thinking. | ||
| They're looking at you. | ||
| They're thinking. | ||
| What are you... | ||
| All right. | ||
| Family walks through the jungle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. - I wouldn't be that scared of that. | |
| Yes, you would. | ||
| You would be scared as fuck. | ||
| You'd take that little kid so fast. | ||
| It's lowered its stance. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Thinking about pouncing. | ||
| And that's it? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It just ends right there. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| Where are they? | ||
| It doesn't say. | ||
| It's like a Reddit. | ||
| What the fuck happened? | ||
| Yeah, because that's a mountain lion. | ||
| It could be a Florida panther. | ||
| It could be a mountain lion. | ||
| Maybe they have them like that. | ||
| Do they have mountain lions in Mexico? | ||
| I know they have jaguars. | ||
| Do they have mountain lions in Mexico? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would think so. | ||
| I would think if they have jaguars, the jaguars fucked up all the mountain lions probably. | ||
| Do you still have a cat? | ||
| No. | ||
| I miss having a cat. | ||
| You gonna get another cat? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I was thinking about getting one of those big cats. | ||
| Big fluffy ones? | ||
| Oh, servalls? | ||
| No, not that big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wild ones? | |
| Those are scary. | ||
| The ones that look like a furry mask. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Have you seen those servalls when they feed them chicken wings and they growl? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Those are primal. | ||
| Those cats are real close to a wild cat. | ||
| People have them, they put them on leashes and shit. | ||
| Mary Lynn Rice Cub has like a huge cat too that's kind of like that. | ||
| Doesn't she have like a Sphinx cat? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are those hairless ones. | ||
| Apparently those are super affectionate because they're cold all the time, so they want to snuggle with you. | ||
| No, it's not that. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| I think it's one of those giant cats you're talking about. | ||
| Like a Serval? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, those are... | ||
| Yeah, like one of those. | ||
| Yeah, those are crazy cats, man. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| Look at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| If you get too close to its food, it'll fuck you up. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the kind of cat she has. | ||
| She has one of those? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| John Jones used to have those things. | ||
| Yeah, those are real close to wild. | ||
| You know, I mean, how much of a pet is that? | ||
| Can you, like, coddle with those things? | ||
| And wouldn't it just fuck your furniture up? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You wouldn't have any furniture. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Yeah, it would destroy your couch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nah, that's not the same thing. | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| No, that's just a cat. | ||
| She's got a cat. | ||
| But it's a huge cat, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I don't know, man. | ||
| That kind of looks like a serval, too. | ||
| That looks exactly like those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, these things are, when they get big, they're like three times a regular cat size. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing? | ||
| Are you allowed to have those everywhere? | ||
| Are those like the kind of cat, can you just, is that count as a house cat? | ||
| Or is that some sort of a weird exotic that you can only get in certain states? | ||
| I think you're allowed to have those. | ||
| I bet you can't get them in California. | ||
| California, you can't even... | ||
| There's like a bunch of animals you're not allowed to have in California. | ||
| Oh, you got a license in Texas to get one. | ||
| Oh, you have to have a license. | ||
| It's illegal in every other state except for like these... | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Yeah, interesting. | ||
| So they are pretty... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| So they're illegal in California. | ||
| So you need a license in Missouri, Oklahoma, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Maine, Mississippi, Montana, Idaho, North Dakota, and South Dakota. | ||
| And all other states serve all ownership as illegal. | ||
| Yeah, those are barely pets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you have a serve-all cat as a pet? | ||
| Serve-all cats aren't legal everywhere in the U.S. Yeah, she's got one. | ||
| That is one. | ||
| She's a criminal. | ||
| You're a goddamn criminal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's huge! | |
| How dare you? | ||
| You're not allowed to have that. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm sorry that they have to ruin your life. | ||
| What else did it say about... | ||
| Did it say how dangerous they are to keep as pets? | ||
| That just said the same thing as the thing we're talking about. | ||
| Google, are they dangerous? | ||
| Are serve-all cats dangerous? | ||
| I bet they're dangerous. | ||
| I bet they fuck people up every year. | ||
| Depends how they're raised, I guess, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They don't... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The strength is much higher than that of a normal cat, and even if they don't mean harm, they can cause it simply by playing. | ||
| Serviles have a bite force at the canine teeth of 172 Newtons, whereas feral domestic cats have a bite force of 56 Newtons. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's a big fucking difference, man. | ||
| That's more than three times stronger. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It would be cool to have one. | ||
| Until it's standing over your bed, deciding it's going to kill you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many people get bitten by those things every year? | ||
| You think anybody has ever died because a Servalcad killed them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, I'm sure yes. | ||
| I bet one shitty kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| One kid was, like, hitting it with a stick or something and just fucked him up. | ||
| Right to the throat. | ||
| How many times a year do people get injured by several cats? | ||
| I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking. | ||
| It seems like one happened at a zoo. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, that's where it belongs. | ||
| Well, it belongs in the wild. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| There's a video. | ||
| Officials looking for owner of Serval Cats shot. | ||
| Oh, this guy was killed over the weekend. | ||
| Yeah, if they get out, you gotta kill him. | ||
| That was in Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Fairfield County, which didn't seem like that was on the list. | ||
| Where are they from? | ||
| Where are they from originally? | ||
| People are so weird, like a regular domestic cat's not enough for you. | ||
| You have to eat this monster. | ||
| Native to Africa, sub-Saharan countries, except rainforest regions. | ||
| Now Google, serve all cats getting crazy video. | ||
| There must be something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Serve all cat versus pit bull. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| I got my money on the dog. | ||
| Pit bull, yeah. | ||
| Definitely, 100%. | ||
| I saw someone call it a savanna cat. | ||
| You think that makes sense? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Angry savanna cat. | ||
| Angry savanna cat. | ||
| Let's see what it does. | ||
| It doesn't do it. | ||
| It's not a good one. | ||
| Crazy looking cat on the loose. | ||
| Serval cat playing with kids. | ||
| How about serval cat attacks? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I'm getting crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I asked. | |
| I'm getting crazy, bro. | ||
| Vicious Serval cat attack. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Attacks a toddler? | ||
| Oh, that's... | ||
| Oh, my gosh. | ||
| Just a quick bite. | ||
| A little scratch. | ||
| Not good, though. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| What are you doing though? | ||
| You're hanging your baby. | ||
| Why would you have your baby anywhere near that thing? | ||
| What was the first video? | ||
| There was another one. | ||
| That's not much of an attack video. | ||
| Vicious serval attack? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Vicious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry, we're having trouble playing this video. | |
| So, maybe there holds its own showdown with a cheetah. | ||
| With a cheetah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is out in the wild. | |
| Yeah, why is this serval cat fucking with him? | ||
| Get out of there, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a face-off. | ||
| Cats be crazy. | ||
| Yeah, but you see how big that cat is? | ||
| Like, why would anybody have that as a house pet? | ||
| That seems so ridiculous. | ||
| What's the video we've seen before? | ||
| There's two animals just, like, screaming at each other. | ||
| Oh, that was two lynxes. | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| You ever seen that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Lynxes yelling at each other. | ||
| They were trying to, like, fight over territory, but they don't want to injure each other. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They don't want to get injured, so they were reluctant to engage. | ||
| So they're standing in front of each other going... | ||
| Oh, awesome. | ||
| Look at their faces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Someone put captions on it. | |
| *laughter* - This is why she doesn't like you. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| Who runs into this? | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| It's interesting how they both are in agreement that they're not really going to touch each other. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Look at the back legs on the one on the left. | ||
| It looks like he has really big feet. | ||
| Oh, they do have big feet, man, because they run in snow. | ||
| They're cold weather cats. | ||
| It is interesting when cats live in cold weather like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| It sounds like two little kids walking around in the backyard. | ||
| It's interesting how they just, they both know not to get after it because they can get fucking hurt. | ||
| So they're just like bluffing, even though they're standing right in front of each other. | ||
| You ever seen a snow leopard? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yeah, it's another cold weather cat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you always think of cats as like a jungle creature. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of cold weather cats. | ||
| Siberian tigers, big furry ass tiger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That's what everybody ran from for most of human history. | ||
| Just running away from big cats. | ||
| That's the cleanup crew of nature. | ||
| Anybody with a limp? | ||
| Anybody that can't figure out a spear? | ||
| Anybody that doesn't know how to get to the top of the tree? | ||
| That's a wrap. | ||
| Have you been watching Chimp Empire? | ||
| No, what's that? | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| Chimp Empire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a documentary series that's on Netflix about these chimpanzees. | ||
| And these folks got embedded with these chimpanzees. | ||
| The footage is fucking insane. | ||
| It's absolutely insane. | ||
| And these... | ||
| Camera people are just accepted by these chimps because they've been there for so long. | ||
| The chimps just act normal around these camera people and they get to see them. | ||
| Their social hierarchy, how they have waged war with neighboring clans, they control territory. | ||
| Like the territory that has fruit is run by this one group of chimps. | ||
| These other ones came in and killed a chimp. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| Oh man, I want to watch this! | ||
| It's really intense. | ||
| When did this come out? | ||
| Just recently? | ||
| It's pretty recent, yeah. | ||
| It's really, really good, man. | ||
| And the footage is, like, unprecedented. | ||
| I mean, they used drones, they used camera people, they did all kinds of stuff to get incredible, like, treetop footage. | ||
| Like, up there, they kill a lot of monkeys. | ||
| A lot of monkeys. | ||
| Like, that's their favorite thing to do. | ||
| They kill monkeys and eat them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And when you watch it happen over and over again, you're like, oh boy. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| Oh, this little, like, legless monkeys, like, they're just eating his guts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| I just had that happen to me two days ago. | ||
| I have this toad, and I nicknamed him Jeff. | ||
| He just lives in my front yard, and he just sits underneath the light at night and waits for bugs to, like, fall on the ground underneath the light. | ||
| And I came home the other night from mothership. | ||
| It was like two in the morning. | ||
| I get dropped off and I'm walking to the front door and there's a possum with half of him in his mouth with blood just splattering out everywhere. | ||
| And I didn't know what it was. | ||
| I was like, is that a rat? | ||
| Wait, what's in his mouth? | ||
| What's he eating? | ||
| And I have all my ring camera and the toad's just half missing, guts hanging out, still like frogging and just blood, so much blood everywhere, dude. | ||
| And one of his legs has just been sucked off the bone, just sitting there. | ||
| One of the most couriest things I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Possums are ruthless little fuckers. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| I hate possums now. | ||
| They're weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're like, if you see their mouth, like, Marshall got one the other day. | ||
| It was actually a while ago. | ||
| He got one, and I don't know if it was dead or just playing dead. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, like, you see them with their mouth open and their fucking teeth. | ||
| What a creepy-looking animal. | ||
| They are. | ||
| And what a weird defense mechanism. | ||
| It just plays dead? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| It has some sort of a panic attack and can't move. | ||
| I told you when we lived in Burbank, Janice called me once when I was at the comedy store and she goes, there's a hurt possum. | ||
| I brought him in and he's in a box and I have him wrapped up with a towel. | ||
| And I'm like, he's not hurt. | ||
| He's not hurt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my God. | |
| Oh my God. | ||
| You got a possum in your house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A crazy girlfriend that doesn't understand wildlife. | |
| That bitch is going to get rabies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was like, throw it out right now. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| She was holding it like a baby. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's hurt. | ||
| Does she know what playing possum is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| She's never heard that before? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I have pictures somewhere. | ||
| I will send them if I find them. | ||
| Why do possums lock up like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is there a reason for that? | ||
| Why do possums play dead? | ||
| Why do possums play possum? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I guess that is like, hey, I don't want to fight. | ||
| I'll just act like dead because... | ||
| But then things just eat you. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to eat you, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| Unless something's not trying to... | ||
| It's just trying to neutralize you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Then you just pretend you're already neutralized. | ||
| It says it's an involuntary response of its system. | ||
| It's only a defense mechanism, I guess. | ||
| Oh, it's like a fainting goat, then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Involuntary defense mechanism that somehow or another imparts some sort of natural protection. | ||
| The predators don't want each other. | ||
| If someone's already dead, they want to kill it. | ||
| Oh, so they just act dead. | ||
| It's like a numbers game. | ||
| Ugliest animal in the world. | ||
| Their fucking mouths. | ||
| Toad-eating monsters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's probably the only animal that when it's a baby, it still doesn't look cute. | ||
| What a fucking creep. | ||
| You gotta have a thumb like a raccoon. | ||
| I'd take a raccoon any day over that. | ||
| I want to send you something, Jamie. | ||
| This guy had this photo of a wolf mouth on his Instagram. | ||
| I was like, holy shit. | ||
| You don't realize what the inside of a wolf's mouth looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How close up is it? | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| That looks like your statue. | ||
| Yeah, it looks fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, their bones are designed to crush... | ||
| I mean, their teeth, rather, are designed to crush bones. | ||
| Did you just send? | ||
| I can't find it. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I'll find it later. | ||
| I'll send it to you. | ||
| Yeah, fuck them. | ||
| Fuck all those things. | ||
| That's one of the things about Texas. | ||
| Like, the coyotes don't howl out here as much. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they get shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They figured it out. | ||
| I'm close to thinking. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It looks like a fake photo. | ||
| No, it's real. | ||
| No, no, I know. | ||
| But I've seen so many Mid Journey and fake AI photos. | ||
| Like, it's all starting to look like it's not real. | ||
| No, there's a series of photos of that wolf. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the AI stuff, not being able to know if something's real or not. | ||
| Alex Jones was just on the news yesterday about being trolled by AI and he's like some guy from Canada. | ||
| Yeah, someone like called him with someone else's voice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was like Tucker Carlson or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, it was pretty funny. | ||
| Yeah, that's the world we live in now, dude. | ||
| You're not going to be able to tell within a year. | ||
| There's no, I mean, there's no notice. | ||
| I mean, who knows what's real, what's not. | ||
| You're going to be getting news stories that are fake and they look completely real, like attacks. | ||
| And I mean, the ability to pull off like a false flag attack now and things along those lines, like you just fake them. | ||
| It's wag the dog. | ||
| I mean, they're going to be able to do... | ||
| I mean, within a year, every person that has ever recorded anything, they'll be able to get your voice and have you say anything. | ||
| Like, they have people calling up their parents and it's a fake kid. | ||
| It's already happening. | ||
| It's getting kidnapped. | ||
| Scary as shit. | ||
| Now, was that a real... | ||
| Because I heard that also. | ||
| There was, like, a Facebook post about it. | ||
| Like, watch out for this new scam. | ||
| They have AI... There was a story about somebody thinking it was their mom or something and getting a loan out. | ||
| I've heard of this happening way beyond the AI stuff, which I find weird, because now it seems very capable of going on, but I definitely have heard this as a Facebook post story going around for a few years. | ||
| A grandparent was called in a ransom thing and they just paid it without calling. | ||
| How did they do that then? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| But they didn't have to do it with a fake voice back then. | ||
| They were... | ||
| The claim was that it was of... | ||
| It sounded like the grandchild or whatever. | ||
| And the how are they doing that is beyond me five years ago. | ||
| Now it seems very easy to do, obviously. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I don't know of a first-hand account. | ||
| I've talked to someone like, this happened to me. | ||
| I've seen a lot of videos of people saying, this happened to me. | ||
| They used my voice. | ||
| So I've told my parents, I'm like, hey, don't leave anything you hear anymore. | ||
| Call me first. | ||
| Code word. | ||
| But, yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Isn't it wild you have to send out a preemptive strike? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you get anything, don't believe it. | ||
| Call me first. | ||
| I'm reminding my mom every week just in case she forgets. | ||
| Like, it's all fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just remember it's all fake. | ||
| Don't believe it. | ||
| We're real close. | ||
| Real close to not having any idea what's real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then with AI. The fact that AI is going to be able to answer any kind of question, but it's also programmed. | ||
| So there's, you know, AI is very woke. | ||
| Like if you ask AI, like one of the things that said, is it okay? | ||
| Like, should I be proud to be white? | ||
| If you say that, if you ask AI, it's like, well, you don't have any control over that. | ||
| Should I be proud to be black? | ||
| Yes, of course. | ||
| It's one of those deals. | ||
| It's like, say something positive about Donald Trump, it won't. | ||
| Say something positive about Joe Biden, it will. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up. | ||
| Well, that also seems like human controlling. | ||
| This is something I saw yesterday, I think. | ||
| Meta has open sourced a tool they have, and here's an explanation of what it does. | ||
| So be careful for videos like this soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check this out. | |
| Most AI models only work across one or two modes. | ||
| But our new ImageBind model works across six. | ||
| Text, audio, images and video, 3D, thermal, and motion data. | ||
| You give it input in one form, and it can relate it to any others. | ||
| It works more like our own imagination. | ||
| If you give it a picture of a beach, it can find the sound of waves. | ||
| If you give it a photo of a tiger and the sound of a waterfall, it can give you a video that combines both. | ||
| This is a step towards AIs that understand the world around them more like we do, which will make them a lot more useful and will open up totally new ways to create things. | ||
| We're open sourcing ImageBind so everyone in the world can access and build on top of these state-of-the-art models. | ||
| I'm excited to see what... | ||
| That guy has a tech guy voice like a strip club DJ. He has a strip club DJ voice. | ||
| You know, there's a tech guy voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I almost seem real, don't I? You know what I mean? | |
| Is he imitating Steve Jobs? | ||
| More like Zuckerberg. | ||
| Sounds more like Zuckerberg. | ||
| That was Zuckerberg. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| I thought someone was imitating Zuckerberg. | ||
| No, no, that was him. | ||
| Okay, well that makes sense. | ||
| Zuckerberg does have the ultimate tech guy voice. | ||
| The one that drives me the most nuts is the up voice. | ||
| Basically, what we're doing here, you know that up-speak? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like a tech sort of up-speak. | ||
| I hate vocal fry. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Oh, come on! | ||
| Uncut gems. | ||
| Uncut gems. | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
| Uncut gems. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Vocal fry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, how long before you can't trust anything in the news? | ||
| I don't think you can right now, right? | ||
| Yeah, right now it's already a little sketchy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, how long? | ||
| How long before we have no idea what's real? | ||
| How long before the debates start up or whatever? | ||
| It's like a year? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Less than a year? | ||
| Like, that news cycle is going to be intense. | ||
| Very intense. | ||
| Daily. | ||
| Hourly, maybe. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| When you see AI, like when you see Zuckerberg's thing right there with AI, doesn't it seem like the beginning of a movie that like, like 12 years ago, like, you know, you see scientists working on things. | ||
| This is so exciting. | ||
| Cut to present time. | ||
| Terminator. | ||
| Terminator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hunting down the last biologics. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's weird how all the stuff that we thought was sci-fi, it really is coming true. | ||
| Yeah, it really is. | ||
| I mean, we're real close away from robot companions. | ||
| Real close. | ||
| Like a decade. | ||
| A decade away from people having real dolls that are their actual girlfriends. | ||
| They're talking to them and having conversations with them and rubbing their back while they watch sports. | ||
| Who's gonna get married then? | ||
| You know, if a real doll is, like, indiscernible from a human being, and she just wants to fuck all the time, she has a perfect body, and she doesn't even eat food. | ||
| How many incels are just gonna, like, just get a job so they can pay for their robot? | ||
| Can you see the scene from Terminator 2 where he explains what Skynet is? | ||
| It's exactly like what's going on now. | ||
| Let's see it. | ||
| He's working on it still, in this part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just trying to get some. | |
| Look how they're coding. | ||
| Miles, you got to go to Raging Waters, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Trying to kill the students in the world. | |
| Baby, this is going to blow them all away. | ||
| It's a neural net processor. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You told me. | ||
| It's a neural net processor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It thinks and learns like we do. | |
| It's superconducting at room temperature. | ||
| Other computers are just pocket calculators by comparison. | ||
| Why is that so goddamn important, Miles? | ||
| I really need to know because sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy here. | ||
| Knack, knack, knack, knack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just close to ruining life. | |
| That's the thing, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine a jet airliner with a pilot that never gets tired, never makes mistakes, never shows up to work with a hangover. | |
| Meet the pilot. | ||
| Why did we get married, Miles? | ||
| Why did we have these children? | ||
| You don't need us. | ||
| Your heart and your mind are in here. | ||
| But it doesn't love you like we do. | ||
| What kind of inner button was that? | ||
| Yeah, what kind of button was that? | ||
| I thought he explained more of it honestly right there, but that's what his explanation and the guys are making open AI to do right now. | ||
| Drive Teslas for us. | ||
| Yeah, look, Happy Family, about to fucking kill humanity as we know it. | ||
| They all died in that, right after it, right? | ||
| The scene right before is Sarah Connor's going like, I need to find this fucking guy, tell me everything about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right, he gets shot. | |
| Those fucking movies, it's so odd when you go back and think of what they thought the future was going to be like then. | ||
| Nobody predicts it right. | ||
| Nobody gets it right. | ||
| And that's why I wonder what we're getting wrong. | ||
| When we're thinking about what the future is going to be, I have a feeling we're so off base. | ||
| I have a feeling whatever they invent, whatever starts getting implemented, whether it's Neuralink or something that changes the interface between humans and the web and technology, I think it's going to be bigger than all the things we've ever experienced. | ||
| I think our future, like, we're gonna look back, and we're the last of the Mohicans, because we're people that grew up without the internet, and then had the internet when we were adults, and now we're seeing kids grow up with the internet. | ||
| And then there's gonna be the next thing. | ||
| And we're gonna be the people that went through the whole thing together. | ||
| Where everybody from the future is just gonna be some weird cyborg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's where comedy's gonna die. | ||
| That's where fun's gonna die. | ||
| No more entertainment. | ||
| Everyone's just locked into the Matrix. | ||
| And drones are going around shooting people. | ||
| Drones are telling you to go back to your place. | ||
| There's a new disease out. | ||
| There's a new variant. | ||
| You need your booster. | ||
| I kind of think there's going to be, that version's going to happen, but some place, I don't know, pick a city, is going to stay the same. | ||
| They'll be adverse to everything. | ||
| Pflugerville. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Maybe, but like, come here for, no computers are here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all manual. | ||
| It's all being, like, almost like Amish country. | ||
| Like, there's nothing left. | ||
| But you can go there, or you can go to, you know. | ||
| Whatever San Francisco becomes if it's all taken home by robots and shit. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| But there's no old west towns now anymore. | ||
| After a while they'll die off. | ||
| No more wagons. | ||
| No more horseback. | ||
| Amish are even using cell phones. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| They're using cell phones? | ||
| We looked that up. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| They're doing Molly and having raves. | ||
| Yeah, what is that called? | ||
| Rumpelstiltskin or something? | ||
| Rumpelstiltskin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rumpsprigga. | |
| They get off, they go Rumpelstiltskin it out. | ||
| They do drugs and fuck. | ||
| They're only allowed to do it once though, right? | ||
| Like one, and then they go back to being an Amish. | ||
| Yeah, but they can last as long as they want. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they can only do it once. | ||
| You can't go back and forth. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't Rumpelstiltskin like when you're 30. Why would you ever go back? | ||
| Because they miss it. | ||
| They miss the community. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Like you miss what you know. | ||
| If you're used to living in a place where everybody makes their own houses and people fucking pass butter around, you want to be in that group. | ||
| You don't think you can do it? | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| I grew up in Ohio, so we already kind of had to live with them. | ||
| Their worst penalty is getting shunned by the community. | ||
| It's like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's like, okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yeah, but I bet they have very little crime because of it. | ||
| Everybody chips in, but they're also a cult. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it's kind of a cult. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are they basing it on? | ||
| There's different groups, I believe. | ||
| I don't know which ones. | ||
| There's different kinds of Amish? | ||
| There's Amish and then there's Mennonites. | ||
| Mennonites aren't the same thing? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think Mennonites are more strict or less strict. | ||
| I lived to buy a lot of Mennonites and they were hardcore. | ||
| They stunk. | ||
| They stunk? | ||
| They don't bathe? | ||
| No, they don't smell like they do. | ||
| They don't wear deodorant or anything like that. | ||
| Maybe the ones you were around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a special, stinky, stinky Mennonite. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It would stink up the zoo. | ||
| Isn't it weird that there's, like, rules that you have? | ||
| Like, no electricity. | ||
| No this, no that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gotta keep it pure. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| Meanwhile, COVID didn't affect them at all. | ||
| Those people just fucking skated right through it. | ||
| Well, first of all, they're out in the sun all the time. | ||
| They're working all the time. | ||
| I would imagine if you're a person of that lifestyle, you'd probably be pretty healthy. | ||
| Because they're not eating processed foods, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They grow their own foods. | ||
| Oh, you're super healthy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably mountainous hurt. | ||
| You know, they probably don't have vitamins or anything. | ||
| Oh, because they don't take supplements? | ||
| Potatoes and, you know, corn every day. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| I couldn't imagine living like that, but I bet if you did live like that, it'd be normal. | ||
| I think people just adapt. | ||
| Difference between Amish and Mennonites. | ||
| Well, they share a common Anabaptist heritage. | ||
| Amish and Mennonites have been separate groups within the Anabaptist family since 1693. Amish and Mennonites... | ||
| This motherfucker's been rolling for that long? | ||
| Amish and Mennonites migrated separately to North America but often settled in the same areas. | ||
| Both migrated in several ways. | ||
| First in the 1700s and the 1800s. | ||
| Those fucking people that came down here in the 1700s, how gangster were they? | ||
| I mean, you're just taking a chance. | ||
| Taking a chance of coming to America and trying to figure it out in the woods. | ||
| There's nothing here yet. | ||
| I mean, what was here? | ||
| Boston? | ||
| Philadelphia? | ||
| Like, what was here in the 1700s? | ||
| There's a few places. | ||
| Couple. | ||
| At the end of the 1700s, I was thinking, watching that Ben Franklin documentary, he left and went to live in London for a while. | ||
| He really did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thomas Jefferson left and lived in France for a while. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking traitors. | ||
| When we were in London, I went by Ben Franklin's house. | ||
| He was living there for a long time. | ||
| He left his family in Pennsylvania and was like, see ya. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did. | |
| I gotta go make America better and be an advocate. | ||
| I don't know if he was officially like a... | ||
| Probably had a girlfriend. | ||
| I think that's what it was. | ||
| I think that's what they said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Another family? | ||
| Or boyfriend? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back then you'd have to send a note that you wrote with a feather. | ||
| Get it on a boat to get to them. | ||
| How long would it take you to write a letter back then? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Have you tried to use cursive lately? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know how. | ||
| You don't? | ||
| You don't remember? | ||
| No. | ||
| I can write my name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if I had to write a sentence in cursive, it's going to be very confusing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I tried to remember how to do Z the other day. | ||
| I couldn't... | ||
| Oh, how do you use it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fucking Billy Madison. | ||
| What? | ||
| Rudo. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Billy Madison, she makes him get up in front of the class and write Rizzo on the board in cursive. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, he's like, make your favorite baseball player. | ||
| And he just does these little scribbles. | ||
| They're like, what does that say, Billy? | ||
| Is it Ruro or something? | ||
| I don't remember how to do Zs. | ||
| Yeah, cursive is on its way out. | ||
| Are they still teaching at school? | ||
| No, they stopped. | ||
| They stopped teaching. | ||
| So yeah, that's a good way that we could use in the future to just talk to us. | ||
| Well, cursive AI doesn't pick up. | ||
| So if you want to write a note and put it on Instagram and get by their filters. | ||
| There's a Z. What? | ||
| Which one's a Z? Oh, right here. | ||
| He doesn't know how to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's just scribbles. | |
| What is a real Z though? | ||
| What's a Z? Z cursive. | ||
| I could draw. | ||
| Let me see if it just shows up. | ||
| Cursive Z. Z cursive. | ||
| It's hard to explain what it looks like. | ||
| Oh, look what I did. | ||
| Look what I did. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would have never got that right. | ||
| Let me see it again. | ||
| Let me see it again. | ||
| I would have never got that right. | ||
| There's another one that's weird, too. | ||
| I think I stopped writing a cursive the moment I got out of high school, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My mom still writes me cursive letters once a month and sends them to me. | ||
| I'm like, Mom, it's taking me an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dear Brian, I still haven't forgiven you for the edibles you gave me. | |
| You ever slip your mom an edible? | ||
| No. | ||
| How do you think she'd handle it? | ||
| She would go to the hospital. | ||
| Definitely? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| She would panic and think it's like a religious thing. | ||
| Oh, like Jesus coming to her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I gave my dad a long time ago when he came and visited me in LA. He drank some of my wine, weed wine. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, and he got fucked up. | ||
| Did he know it was weed wine? | ||
| No. | ||
| He just thought it was regular wine? | ||
| Right, he still doesn't know. | ||
| Well, he probably knows now. | ||
| And what happened? | ||
| He got very happy, laughy, and he was having a great time. | ||
| It did exactly what... | ||
| Did you ever tell him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why didn't you tell him? | ||
| Because he drank a lot of it, and I didn't know, or I did know, or I can't remember. | ||
| It seems like he would enjoy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm still weird about that. | ||
| Some old folks, they start finding edibles, and they go, hey. | ||
| Yeah, they love it. | ||
| It's pretty nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ric Flair's into edibles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We got his Wu-Chews over there. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got his own edible brand. | ||
| Wu-Chews. | ||
| But edibles are nice. | ||
| You don't have to worry about smoking. | ||
| It's easy on the body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look your dad up. | ||
| If he wants something, you can have him. | ||
| Send him a crate of that wine. | ||
| Have some Delta 9, Dad. | ||
| The weed wine is a weird combination. | ||
| They make weed soda, weed gummy bears, weed bubble gum, weed breath spray. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Weed wine. | ||
| Remember back in the day when weed was not really legal yet in LA, they had the first edibles. | ||
| I remember people would always give you the weed wine and all these weird inventions. | ||
| There was a lot of weird stuff. | ||
| It was during the medical days when you used to have to have a medical card. | ||
| That doctor you had that sold us the zinc or something like that. | ||
| We were spraying zinc in our mouth or some metal. | ||
| That doctor was very odd. | ||
| You remember you had that thing that attached to your ear that gets you to quit smoking? | ||
| I'm like, bitch, that is not gonna work. | ||
| You bought it for me? | ||
| And I'm like thinking, Joe, don't buy this. | ||
| It gives you an electrical pulse to your ear. | ||
| Yeah, it's just electrocuting. | ||
| I'm like, try it, bro. | ||
| Maybe this will do it for you. | ||
| That was so ridiculous. | ||
| He showed me a book on how Tesla energy was used to destroy the Twin Towers. | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Did you see the planes hit them? | ||
| It was the most crazy conversation. | ||
| I'm like, well, this is the type of person that gives out medical prescriptions for weed. | ||
| You're not getting the best minds. | ||
| Those guys were taking chances. | ||
| Some of those guys got arrested and went to jail for it. | ||
| In the early days of medical marijuana, it was weird because you would get arrested and then when they would bring you to court, you weren't allowed to say medical marijuana. | ||
| Because medical marijuana was only a state thing. | ||
| In federal government's language, it was just marijuana. | ||
| So, literally, you couldn't say you had a license to grow it for medical patients. | ||
| Like, your trial, you were not allowed to tell the truth. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, like, the federal government doesn't recognize states' laws when it comes to Schedule I substances. | ||
| So all these people that are making money off of weed, it's like you're dancing this little weird line because federally it's super illegal. | ||
| And yet states, I think now it's like 19 states or more have made it legal. | ||
| It's like at what point in time are they going to let that go? | ||
| How many fucking people have been in jail for marijuana? | ||
| I mean, it's a... | ||
| It is a wild thing that we have so many drugs that are available that can fuck you up and they're easy to get prescriptions for and marijuana is still illegal. | ||
| Federally. | ||
| Weren't they going to change it? | ||
| Wasn't it Biden or somebody? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're full of shit. | ||
| Too much paperwork. | ||
| They don't change shit, dude. | ||
| They don't change shit. | ||
| They don't change shit like that. | ||
| Those are those cultural war subjects that they like to bounce back and forth. | ||
| They like the left to get upset. | ||
| Give us our marijuana. | ||
| And the right wants their guns. | ||
| And then the right doesn't want you to have an abortion. | ||
| The left wants to have abortions. | ||
| These cultural war issues never get cleaned up because there's no benefit in cleaning them up. | ||
| There's no benefit to just settle them and resolve. | ||
| Even Roe v. | ||
| Wade. | ||
| Like, I thought we had that worked out. | ||
| And then all of a sudden they take that. | ||
| It's a culture war issue. | ||
| Like, they want people to be upset. | ||
| Like, they took away our abortion and then the left is less likely to cross sides and join over to the right, even though they believe in them fiscally and economically. | ||
| That right to abortion is a big one. | ||
| I think there was some really wild number, like, with women's right to choose, like, whether that's a deal breaker for Democratic Americans. | ||
| It's like some high 60s, high 60%. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| How would you Google that? | ||
| Democrat right to choose? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Believe in it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Democrat right to choose deal breaker. | ||
| 64%. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| It's fucked up that they're outlawing, like, Plan B, though. | ||
| That's the shit that bugs me. | ||
| You know, think what you want about abortion, but Plan B? Come on. | ||
| Yeah, like, right after someone nuts in you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't take a pill and, like, stop it in his tracks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The other day, I nutted in my girl, and there was so much lotion, I couldn't tell if I came or not. | ||
| Have you ever had that? | ||
| Where you're like, I think I came. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| What does your bedroom look like? | ||
| I just imagined plastic sheets and lotion everywhere. | ||
| Put down the tarp, hon. Like, what are you doing? | ||
| I can't tell if you came or not. | ||
| I got this CBD sex lube and it just like numbs you so hard. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It numbs you? | ||
| Yeah, it's numb and it's warm. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| Why do you want your dick numb? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| We just got it. | ||
| We tried it and it was pretty good. | ||
| Don't they do make desensitizing cream so people can last longer? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's CBD version of that. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's great, but sometimes it's a little much. | ||
| I don't know what's going on down there sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like... | |
| Isn't there like a fucking dose that you use? | ||
| I just keep on squirting. | ||
| I squirt like 10 times on her butt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is the fucking floor of your bedroom with like just oil puddles? | |
| No one's ever said that ever. | ||
| You ever come and you don't even know if you came because there's so much lotion? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like what? | |
| What the fuck is wrong? | ||
| You're doing it wrong. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| I've always liked a lot of lotion. | ||
| I would always get a second bed and one to sleep in and one to fuck up at a hotel room. | ||
| And we'll just get baby oil, a whole thing of baby oil, and just become like aliens. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's slimy. | ||
| It's slimy tits everywhere. | ||
| That's what you like? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Do you like things getting all slimy? | ||
| Yeah, it's cool. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| I'm just imagining you. | ||
| Don't knock it. | ||
| I imagine you coming back from CVS with a plastic bag filled with baby oils. | ||
| 100%, I've done it multiple times in my life. | ||
| That was mostly more of a high school thing. | ||
| We used to just love doing that. | ||
| Imagine those maids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They get a hold of those sheets like, what the fuck happened here? | |
| Oh, they know. | ||
| I'm sure a lot of people do that. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| That much baby oil? | ||
| I don't think that happens very often. | ||
| Oh, everybody. | ||
| Cocoa butter. | ||
| Oh, everybody. | ||
| Yeah, a bunch of cocoa butter. | ||
| Everybody's got baby oil all over the place. | ||
| I bet it. | ||
| I bet it's more known. | ||
| Brian goes to Home Depot, brings back fucking construction hefty bags, lays them over the bed. | ||
| Heck yeah. | ||
| Slip and slide. | ||
| Slip and slide. | ||
| That's what you're into? | ||
| Just covering yourself up? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It feels good when you... | ||
| Because, like, tits. | ||
| Imagine huge tits and butts. | ||
| Like, that's just... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Slippery. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| You don't like that sensation. | ||
| What's wrong with you guys? | ||
| I mean, it's nothing bad. | ||
| I just have never committed to it so far. | ||
| Oh, you got to. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Brian. | ||
| What a weird way for a maid... | ||
| To discover your nighttime activities. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Walking just baby oil all over your bed. | ||
| It would suck to be a maid, huh? | ||
| You're just cleaning up old cum stuff everywhere. | ||
| Farts. | ||
| People are gross, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they know they don't have to clean, they just live like animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's not a good job. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| Have you seen the fucking wave of migrants that's making its way across the southern border now that Title 42 is about to expire or pass or whatever the fuck is happening? | ||
| What's Title 42? | ||
| We should Google that just so we get an accurate... | ||
| Description of what it is, but the migrants that are making their way across the border, it's crazy. | ||
| Like, just the sheer number is insane. | ||
| Title 42, end of the coronavirus, restrictions and asylums. | ||
| Restrictions are often referred to as Title 42 because the authority comes from Title 42 of a 1944 public health law that allows curbs on migration in the name of protecting public health. | ||
| So it's because of the pandemic. | ||
| The end of Title 42's use has raised questions about what will happen with migration at the U.S.-Mexico border. | ||
| The Biden administration is preparing for an increase in migrants. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So just go to Google what it looks like on the border. | ||
| At the end of Title 42. Mexican border. | ||
| But like, there's some videos that show people making their way across. | ||
| Making my way across. | ||
| It's really crazy because just the sheer numbers are insane. | ||
| But it makes sense. | ||
| I mean, if I lived in Guatemala and I knew that there were some jobs in America... | ||
| There's so many people making a cross. | ||
| It's just happening all day long. | ||
| And to be fair, like, our whole country is going through a problem with people not wanting to work anymore because of COVID. Like, kids are not going back to work. | ||
| Like, McDonald's is closing early because they don't have enough workers. | ||
| So there is jobs for certain kind of people that I think have opened up since COVID, right? | ||
| Yeah, and then there's also criminals. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| When you let people in illegally, you don't know if they're cartel members, you don't know if they're terrorists from another country. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| That's the whole reason for legal migration. | ||
| You want people to be able to have a background check on scumbags and murderers. | ||
| But the fucking sheer bulk of people that are coming across here. | ||
| If you lived in another country, this is the promised land. | ||
| It just shows you, even today, as fucked up as we are, it's still a place where so much can happen. | ||
| You have so much freedom. | ||
| You can start your own business, you can get things popping, and you don't even have to have an ID to vote. | ||
| You can vote for whoever lets you in. | ||
| You can come over here, fake it. | ||
| There's places that want illegal immigrants to be able to vote. | ||
| Weren't they trying to do that in New York City? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| We're lucky. | ||
| Someone or our ancestor took the trip. | ||
| It's funny, though, that at a certain point in time, we're like, stop, no more. | ||
| No more new people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It says it got struck down. | ||
| Oh, they were trying to do it, but it got struck down? | ||
| Yeah, they're out of their fucking mind. | ||
| Illegal aliens voting. | ||
| No, the whole idea is, like, you've got to become a citizen. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You've got to be all in on this. | ||
| You can't be from Saudi Arabia and vote in America. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Legalization of oil. | |
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
| Meaning, like, people from other, you know, countries could get together and then, like, try to pass things that would benefit their country. | ||
| You know, you have to... | ||
| I'm sure that's already happening. | ||
| I'm sure there's spies. | ||
| There's probably Russian agents working in the White House right now. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| We probably have ones over in China. | ||
| It's probably, like... | ||
| I bet there's operatives that work in all sorts of different foreign countries that are... | ||
| Deep undercover that are sneaking around. | ||
| They get busted all the time. | ||
| I think what it's saying, it was only going to allow them to vote in New York City elections, local ones. | ||
| When they struck that down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just imagine... | ||
| What you're doing is just like you're playing to the illegals. | ||
| You're just like saying, look, if I could just get them on my side, like think about the bulk of this. | ||
| I have so many people and then the liberals are all going to vote for me anyway. | ||
| So I just get these, all these like people that shouldn't even be voting. | ||
| Now I have a new group of people to harvest vote from. | ||
| If they really wanted voting to be fair, they'd make everybody? | ||
| If you 100% couldn't fuck with voting machines, you 100% couldn't rig mail-in ballots, you couldn't do any of that, what would be the best way? | ||
| I would imagine it would be your face ID. Wouldn't it? | ||
| Connected to your social security network. | ||
| Yeah, like you pick up your phone, face ID, if you have an Android, you're fucked, you can't vote because you're stupid. | ||
| I heard something recently about that, that someone's doing a project, I have to look into this a little bit more, but it's called like the Doppelganger Project. | ||
| He's doing research that there's something like a thousand people in the world that have facial features that are similar to yours, and I think close enough that they could even unlock your phone. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that Chinese Elon Musk. | ||
| I bet he could unlock Elon's phone. | ||
| That guy's cool. | ||
| I saw an interview with that guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because a lot of people think he's fake and AI-generated, but he did an interview. | ||
| And what was he saying? | ||
| He was just saying, like, I'm a huge fan. | ||
| That's pretty nice. | ||
| I drive a Tesla. | ||
| I've been banging all these hoes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I don't know about doppelgangers, if that's real. | ||
| There's the Chinese Elon Musk. | ||
| Fake Elon Musk angered Chinese fans who wanted to meet the real deal. | ||
| Oh, what happened there? | ||
| Oh, that's a fake Elon Musk. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| He's an entrepreneur hosting an event, and his magazine says that he was expecting Elon Musk to attend, but they never guaranteed his presence. | ||
| Fake Elon Musk at event. | ||
| So that's the fake Elon Musk, that guy? | ||
| That's not him. | ||
| That's a really bad one. | ||
| That's a bad Elon Musk. | ||
| That's so fake. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't even look a little bit like Elon Musk. | ||
| But what about the Chinese one? | ||
| That's what I thought I was looking up. | ||
| No, it looks different. | ||
| That's him right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jesus, that's close. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn close. | ||
| I think Elon said that he wants to meet him. | ||
| He's probably his son. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If he went over there on a jaunt at one point in time. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| That was a deep fake. | ||
| It's not a deep fake. | ||
| No, that's what I was saying. | ||
| People think he's a deep fake. | ||
| That's what was cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, Mrenny! | |
| Well, he doesn't sound like it. | ||
| Hi, everyone. | ||
| I'm Yilong Ma. | ||
| Money. | ||
| He wants money. | ||
| Oh, he's going to use the money to light his cigar. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He does. | ||
| You think he'd unlock Elon's phone? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| I don't think he could, but, you know... | ||
| But has there been proven cases of someone being able to unlock someone's phone? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I mean, my girlfriend saw a photo of another girl the other day and thought it was her, you know, and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, but... | |
| That's like a stereotype, buddy. | ||
| I know, but she couldn't tell. | ||
| She couldn't tell. | ||
| And I was like, she's like, I think that's me. | ||
| And I'm like, no, it's not. | ||
| LAUGHTER Whitney Cummings says that. | ||
| There's like two people that look very similar. | ||
| The girl at the mothership. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's one girl that came to one of her shows. | ||
| They got pictures together. | ||
| It's really creepy. | ||
| Here's some of these doppelganger guys. | ||
| These are people I don't think they even live in the same country. | ||
| Those are two dudes, two women. | ||
| They have the same face, not the same hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Similar. | ||
| Pretty close, man. | ||
| Those two look pretty similar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| The fact they're not related, I go to 100%, oh, you're her sister. | ||
| Well, there's only so many variables with facial features, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's probably another Ari Shaffir out there, believe it or not. | ||
| There's probably tons of them. | ||
| How about that cat that looks like Ari? | ||
| Oh, that's the best one. | ||
| I found a new one the other day. | ||
| Those are great. | ||
| Can't Michael Lehrer's son unlock his phone? | ||
| He looks so much like him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think I heard that. | ||
| I don't think they pay for that phone anymore. | ||
| I just Googled it. | ||
| This says that people can do it. | ||
| It could be unlocked even if you have an evil sibling who looks close enough to you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They don't have to be a doppelganger. | ||
| And is this with Apple phones or with Android phones? | ||
| This is with iPhones. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I mean, sometimes my phone's on the table over there and it unlocks. | ||
| I'm like, how did you even see me from over here? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's weird how good it works. | ||
| Bam, it's open right there. | ||
| Here's even on Apple's website. | ||
| My sister can unlock my phone and we are not twins. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So, maybe test it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| I know that Android has an unlock, but it's not nearly as secure because it's not like a 3D image of your face. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you can probably unlock with a photo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's definitely not as good as Face ID. But don't you think, like, fingerprint's the best? | |
| Yeah, well, the Face ID, I never even think about it, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it just works. | ||
| It just works. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Yeah, I think a fingerprint is the... | ||
| I mean, I'm looking at my computer right now. | ||
| There's a camera looking at me. | ||
| They could put Face ID on it, but they have the fingerprint scanner on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Maybe there's another sensor in there they can't put in here, I guess, but I don't know what does it. | ||
| It is annoying, though, that with iPhones, it takes up so much of your screen real estate. | ||
| That island and face ID? Yeah. | ||
| It's like that little strip is kind of whack. | ||
| They're just waiting for the under-camera technology to catch up. | ||
| So in like two years, iPhone will get rid of it. | ||
| And what is supposed to be going on with this Ultra? | ||
| Like if they're going to have an Ultra phone? | ||
| Like what's the purpose of that? | ||
| It's just a bigger one, I think. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah, I think that's it. | ||
| I thought it had better specs because it showed that it has a better screen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The screen has less bezel. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think that they're just doing what they're doing right now. | ||
| The big one always has a little bit better features. | ||
| So they make people buy the most expensive shit possible with the Ultra Watch. | ||
| Just a physical mock-up so they can make cases and shit. | ||
| I don't think that they've leaked any useful use cases or anything. | ||
| But if you think about people and their desire to always have the latest, greatest, most expensive shit, they're all going to get the Ultra. | ||
| That's probably going to be the number one selling phone. | ||
| I can't believe a $2,500 phone is selling so well. | ||
| Especially if they put one of those, like the M1 or M2, I guess it's M2 chip that allows you to do Final Cut or Logic. | ||
| If this is what unlocks the new headset, the virtual AR headset, then 100% that's going to be like... | ||
| Is the virtual AR headset a guarantee that's definitely happening? | ||
| Supposedly next month. | ||
| Next month? | ||
| Yeah, they have that W, whatever, that thing they do once a year where Apple releases new stuff. | ||
| And supposedly it's going to be announced next month. | ||
| And it's going to have like an external battery pack, which is kind of weird. | ||
| You know, you have to wear something around on your belt or something. | ||
| There's not much really known about it. | ||
| This is a picture they've shown that's the best picture. | ||
| I guess everyone's agreeing is this is what it's gonna look like. | ||
| I gotta piss. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| Do you do the tea injection yourself? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I talked to that guy about it the other day. | ||
| He's like, you need to get online. | ||
| You just get it sent to you. | ||
| Oh, you're getting your injections at a doctor's studio? | ||
| Yeah, I go once a week. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, but I get tested once a week. | ||
| He's making sure everything's cool and stuff. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| And I have to bleed. | ||
| They make me bleed. | ||
| They bleed? | ||
| Yeah, because there's a level in your blood that you have to get below. | ||
| Do you have a lot of blood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have extra blood? | |
| It has something to do with... | ||
| I don't know what it's called. | ||
| It's like blood cells. | ||
| You have too much white blood cells or one of the cells that happens from tea. | ||
| There's a video that's gone around a lot. | ||
| I think it's bloodletting, right? | ||
| Where they pop something in your forehead and let the blood squirt out. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| And I don't know why people do it. | ||
| Because they're dumb? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But do you know what I'm talking about? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| Bloodletting from your forehead? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| I only know of it. | ||
| I thought it was something we talked about here. | ||
| Bloodletting from your forehead. | ||
| That sounds like leeches. | ||
| That sounds like some old school shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bloodletting? | ||
| You know what is it called? | ||
| Trepanning? | ||
| Where they drill holes in the heads to relieve pressure? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Spirits would get in there? | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| It might not be called bloodletting, but this is the video I'm talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Oh! | ||
| Blood drain from forehead in bloodletting procedure. | ||
| That is what it's called. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For what reason? | |
| I guess it's in China is where they're doing this one. | ||
| Oh, but that's like fucking voodoo shit. | ||
| Why would that be good to cut your forehead? | ||
| Why are we watching this? | ||
| I'm not showing it online. | ||
| Boy, that's a lot of blood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's one of those things... | ||
| Look how they have it blurred out where the blood hits the pan. | ||
| Why? | ||
| You can handle it squirting out of his head, but you can't handle it hitting the pan. | ||
| Yeah, that's stupid. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I think that's probably just stupid. | ||
| If I had to guess? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Something about recycling your blood though, right? | ||
| Yeah, but that's not recycling. | ||
| This is doing it into a urinal. | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| He's peeing blood out of his head. | ||
| It's quite common used to treat pain, swelling, or other disorders related to blood congestions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like the LA traffic in your veins. | ||
| Blood congestion? | ||
| So, like, bloodletting is actually a real medical procedure? | ||
| I think in the case we just watched, it might have been to reduce eye swelling. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I do know that ever since I started doing tea, I haven't had hemorrhoid, bloody hemorrhoid anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations. | |
| It went away for a year. | ||
| I haven't had one. | ||
| And I think that was my period from all the estrogen. | ||
| Don't you think... | ||
| Like, I think I was really having a period that wasn't a hemorrhoid the whole time. | ||
| Don't you think that some of it comes from sitting on the toilet, reading your phone? | ||
| Yeah, but I haven't stopped doing that. | ||
| Maybe the testosterone has made your butthole muscles more robust. | ||
| Muscles, yeah, maybe. | ||
| So they can handle. | ||
| I thought it was weird, though. | ||
| It seems weird to talk about it. | ||
| No, because I always joke that was my man period, and I think it really was. | ||
| I think it really was. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Yeah, Ari went through that for, like, most of his life. | ||
| He still goes through it. | ||
| Okay, why? | ||
| I thought the same thing. | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| Maybe his estrogen's high. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Well, he freaks out sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, his butt's been bleeding since he was in high school. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if he gets his butt checked, though. | ||
| Because, I mean, he's had a lot of stuff going on there. | ||
| Yeah, it can't be good. | ||
| He's not going to the doctor. | ||
| No, you don't think so? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| He's always in fucking Asia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Backpacking. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| Going on his walkabouts. | ||
| Not for me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, with a bloody butt. | ||
| Bloody butt, walking through Asia. | ||
| I was thinking of him at your mom's house. | ||
| He was on where he explained he didn't want to poop because it was a waste of time. | ||
| What? | ||
| When he was younger? | ||
| I don't even think of that young. | ||
| So he just held his poop in? | ||
| Yeah, he just forced himself to be constipated once a week or something. | ||
| Oh my god, I love pooping! | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| I'm going to leave out the rest of the details of the story that are worse. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| But, yeah. | ||
| It gets ari-fied. | ||
| How can one even hold your poop in? | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| How long can you hold it in? | ||
| Like, if you have to take a shit, you have to go. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How are you doing it for days? | ||
| He's like forcing constipation. | ||
| But that doesn't even make sense. | ||
| It seems impossible. | ||
| It also seems really deadly. | ||
| We can talk about it next time he's here, but if I remember to bring it up. | ||
| Why are we even talking about it now? | ||
| Came over here to promote Red Band's club. | ||
| I'm not talking about Ari's butt. | ||
| How many nights a week you guys open right now? | ||
| We're open every night. | ||
| We have a lot of shows, but we also have a lot of open mics and we have a lot of karaoke. | ||
| We've been doing karaoke, so it's fun watching all the comics get wasted at the end of the night and just get drunk and do karaoke. | ||
| And I embarrassedly did it the other day. | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
| So that's the problem. | ||
| My karaoke song has always been Creep Radiohead, but now Chappelle says that that's his, and now I feel weird. | ||
| I don't want to do it anymore. | ||
| What do you mean it's his? | ||
| Because he's known for that now. | ||
| He sings it. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It makes me feel weird now, singing it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But it's Radiohead. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Okay, how about another one? | ||
| So I tried doing Lump by Presidents of the United States of America, and I fucked up because I forgot how fast that song is, and like, Lump stand alone in a boggy marsh, totally motionless. | ||
| So I was like halfway through, I was like, why did I pick this song? | ||
| Did you just bail? | ||
| No, I changed my voice to a high-pitched voice for some reason, like a woman's voice. | ||
| Because it'll move faster? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so I started singing like, she's up, she's up, she's in my head! | ||
| It was the most embarrassing thing ever. | ||
| But karaoke's like that, right? | ||
| Do you just do Kiss songs? | ||
| I've only done it a couple of times. | ||
| The one time we did a Kiss song at the Alice in No Name morning show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sarah No Name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alice in the Morning? | ||
| Yeah, what was the song? | ||
| Love Gun. | ||
| Love Gun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's something funny about singing bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't do it very often. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's way better when you're drunk. | ||
| It's the only time to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're singing karaoke and you're sober, you're a fucking psychopath. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're really into it. | ||
| You're serious. | ||
| Yeah, that's true, man. | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
| God. | ||
| Especially if it's like a romantic song. | ||
| There's no one even there. | ||
| Who are you singing to? | ||
| You're doing Islands in the Stream, both voices. | ||
| There's something weird about people singing karaoke if no one's paying attention. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's like three people at the bar, and this one person's by themselves, all serious, singing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did it start like in the 90s? | |
| Karaoke? | ||
| I don't remember it. | ||
| I mean, I was too young, but like... | ||
| Well, I guess it had to start with technology, right? | ||
| Because you had to be able to see the scroll. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think it started in an Asian country, probably, right? | ||
| Karaoke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Sounds Japanese. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Dimples, the karaoke place in Burbank, was the first one that moved to the United States and brought karaoke to the United States. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they tore it down and made a Whole Foods. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, karaoke kind of fell out of favor and then came back into favor. | ||
| Like with nostalgia, right? | ||
| Because there was a time period where karaoke bars were dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now they came back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now you can get like private rooms so you can just like you and like five people have like a private room with your own karaoke so you don't have to like be embarrassing around everyone else. | ||
| Imagine that's what you want to do with your time. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine that's your favorite thing to do. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| We're going to karaoke tonight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's my favorite thing. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a karaoke video game in 1985. What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I was just looking at the history. | ||
| It got... | ||
| The first machine was made in 1971, and it got popularized through the 70s, and then in 1983 or 86, a Filipino man patented the karaoke machine. | ||
| What do you think is embarrassing? | ||
| What do you think about things that we do today is going to be super embarrassing in the future? | ||
| Oh, selfies and all that stuff. | ||
| Why selfies, though? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like taking... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They're going to do that forever. | ||
| You think? | ||
| They're never going to stop taking pictures of themselves. | ||
| It's just hilarious watching people try to find the right angle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Podcasts? | ||
| We might look back at podcasts like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This wouldn't be embarrassing. | ||
| This was like... | ||
| No. | ||
| Enjoyed by millions of people. | ||
| Why would that be embarrassing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to think outside the box. | ||
| You know, like what would be... | ||
| Carrying around a phone is probably going to be it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're going to probably think that was stupid. | ||
| Oh my God, they just carried around the phone. | ||
| They had to type with their fingers. | ||
| They want the implant. | ||
| How often do you do text to type or talk to type? | ||
| Not as much as I should. | ||
| I do it all the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| They're so accurate. | ||
| I do it in my car. | ||
| Yeah, I do it in my car too, but I do it a lot. | ||
| It's so much quicker than typing it. | ||
| As long as you're not saying something weird, where it doesn't know what the fuck you're saying, like some weird name of something or something like that. | ||
| My problem is you do it for notes when I think of a joke and I want to write it down real quick and then I won't proofread it and then there's like some weird words in it and then it totally makes me not remember what the joke's about. | ||
| Like, wait, what? | ||
| Sometimes it fucks up too much. | ||
| Well, apparently Google's version of that is better. | ||
| Google's voice to type is better. | ||
| Have you used it at all? | ||
| Yeah, I've used Google's voice. | ||
| You still have a Galaxy fuckword? | ||
| Two galaxies, or two, I have the flip... | ||
| The fold? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The flip one, the small one. | ||
| Oh, you have the flip one, yeah. | ||
| And then I have the S23 Ultra. | ||
| Which one do you fuck with the most? | ||
| The S23 Ultra. | ||
| Yeah, it's a good phone. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The cameras are fucking incredible. | ||
| It's so amazing that you could film a movie off a phone now. | ||
| Legitimately film a movie. | ||
| If you do it right, you could watch it on television. | ||
| It'd be a great movie. | ||
| That's completely possible now. | ||
| If they do put Final Cut Pro... | ||
| On your phone? | ||
| How many movies are going to be made where it's shot and edited on an iPhone? | ||
| Yeah, that's what they're showing, the Apple trailer for the Final Cut Pro, where they're showing them use the iPad and film it, then edit it. | ||
| And with the Apple Pencil, you can now draw on the film, so you can make effects. | ||
| If you want to have a pow thing, you can draw the pow and it will animate the effect. | ||
| It's like taking Final Cut Pro to another level where you can draw on it now and do effects using your Apple Pencil. | ||
| Oh, so it actually makes it better than having a computer. | ||
| Kind of, yeah. | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| Unless you have a computer attached to a tablet, like a Wacom or something. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| What's next? | ||
| It's the neural interface, right? | ||
| That's next. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| That's going to be the big game changer. | ||
| That's going to be weird, man, because we're all going to want to do it because the people that do it are going to have a big advantage. | ||
| They're going to be just completely connected to technology. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then who's going to be in control of that? | |
| What? | ||
| I just remembered to show you something. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Because who's going to be in control of it? | ||
| I think the wearables, you know, like the AR, VR glasses that Apple's going to do, but not having a phone anymore and just having glasses on is definitely going to be a thing. | ||
| Think about how locked in people are to their social media, you know, to their Twitter. | ||
| Like when people get banned from Twitter back in the day, they were devastated. | ||
| That was like an exile from the community. | ||
| Imagine something like that, but that's your brain. | ||
| Like you're locked into this community, a rigid community, where you have to think and behave in a certain way, or you get exiled. | ||
| This is what I oot about. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Did you see this? | ||
| Yeah, I did see this. | ||
| So play it. | ||
| New gameplay proves Unrecord is real. | ||
| Is this the name of the game? | ||
| I think the game is called Unrecord, correct. | ||
| So this is a guy clearing a room. | ||
| He's got a pistol in front of him. | ||
| It looks insanely real. | ||
| And it's like body cam footage angle is how it's supposed to be designed. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| So yeah, this trailer came out and it freaked a lot of people out. | ||
| They're like, this is too real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You guys fucked up. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| I mean, everything from the brass. | ||
| You can tell it's fake right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's smoke from the gun. | |
| But yeah, this... | ||
| This is crossing a line of realism that is like, what are we doing? | ||
| Is this a game or is this a training simulator? | ||
| And they blur his face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a fun little thing they do. | |
| This is his body cam footage. | ||
| This is incredible, man. | ||
| They did recently, though, make a new version of a trailer to show people that this is a game. | ||
| This is made in, like, Unreal. | ||
| This isn't footage from a real cop or someone clearing a building. | ||
| So this is the Unreal 4 engine? | ||
| So this is 5. What they've been doing since we've been talking about it a few times now, it's been getting updated probably monthly with new features and new additions and new add-ons that are making the Unreal 5 even better, like, exponentially better all the time. | ||
| It's a free tool. | ||
| So, like, I don't know how much time someone put in this, probably a lot, but it could have, in theory, been made by a small group of people. | ||
| This is wild, man. | ||
| Yeah, because a lot of this is just assets. | ||
| Like, I want a tire image. | ||
| I want a keg image. | ||
| Yeah, almost like how Beeple was explaining to us. | ||
| He just goes in and finds assets online and makes stuff. | ||
| You can start doing this. | ||
| Listen, I would have a real problem in this game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha! | |
| I'm having a real problem just watching it. | ||
| Yeah, and I don't know if it's going to be in VR, which I would imagine it is. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it will be. | ||
| This kind of gameplay, you can easily make VR. Why is the person's face blurred? | ||
| Because it's supposed to be a body cam footage, and you're supposed to be watching, you know, the look of, like, we're watching this in court, you know? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Here's how it did look. | ||
| It's a little not as clear. | ||
| Now it's, like, updated into 4K. Wow. | ||
| Which means that like, yeah, the trees, the sky, the building textures. | ||
| Why do you think the metaverse didn't take off? | ||
| Why was that a colossal failure? | ||
| Well, it's because it's, I mean, look, you know, Zuckerberg's version of the metaverse is that no one has legs. | ||
| Like, everyone looks like Nintendo Wii characters and stuff, and it's goofy. | ||
| Where you look at something like VRChat, which I use. | ||
| You could be anything you want. | ||
| You could have a scan of you and make it look super realistic. | ||
| So when you're talking to somebody, you look like you're talking to a real person. | ||
| But like that. | ||
| See, that's actually a woman that used her phone and scanned her image into an avatar. | ||
| And that's the stuff that's cool. | ||
| And unfortunately, Zuckerberg and all those guys have been pushing this, like, ridiculous Nintendo Wii. | ||
| Now, this was, just so this was Zuckerberg, this is Meta's product. | ||
| Right, right, right, right, right. | ||
| But that's the Metaverse that, you know, he's not selling this Metaverse, right? | ||
| You know, he's selling this silly version of it. | ||
| So what's the silly versions? | ||
| The fact that you have the headset? | ||
| Well, could you just type in, like, you know, the... | ||
| Oculus Worlds, I think. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| This is... | ||
| That's the stuff that what he's showing is more closer to what I'm using right now. | ||
| And that's, you know, VRChat. | ||
| This is... | ||
| See, like, look at all these goofy characters. | ||
| Like... | ||
| See, you have no legs. | ||
| You look like a little cartoon. | ||
| It looks like for kids, you know? | ||
| And what you were just watching with that other image that is coming sooner, you know, that's the kind of stuff that's already out there and that I use. | ||
| You know, I could be a realistic person. | ||
| I could be a cartoon character. | ||
| I could be anything I want. | ||
| I have legs. | ||
| This is just like, I don't know, for kids. | ||
| It's very kids. | ||
| This is not the only thing that was available, right? | ||
| Correct. | ||
| This is just to like hang out and talk to people, I guess. | ||
| Right, but this is what Zuckerberg, like the metaverse, this is his, like we're spending billions of dollars thinking this kind of thing is going to take off. | ||
| So here's something that I asked someone over a year ago that I didn't understand because we hadn't seen the AI stuff. | ||
| There's spaces like this. | ||
| I'll try to pull it back up on the screen. | ||
| When this guy is floating around in here, this is not how they did it, I'll be honest with you, but this is how it was explained to me. | ||
| When you're in that world, it shows a missile silo or something. | ||
| You could be like, nope, don't make that a missile silo. | ||
| I want to be on a beach. | ||
| You just say that, and it'll go, okay, poof. | ||
| Now you're on a beach. | ||
| It's like, no, it's too cartoony. | ||
| Make it more realistic, and it'll be like, more realistic beach. | ||
| And that's how some of the metaverse stuff is supposed to be. | ||
| It's not here yet, though. | ||
| And I don't know how long it's going to take to get here. | ||
| But isn't a barrier to entry just the putting on goggles? | ||
| A lot of people don't want to do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, it also makes people sick. | ||
| And also, you know, a lot of problems. | ||
| And that's mostly based off frame rate. | ||
| So, like, if you're using something that is poorly made, like software, like an app... | ||
| And you put it on, and the frame rate's shit, then you're just gonna get sick immediately. | ||
| Is it too low a frame rate? | ||
| Yeah, too low a frame rate, you start getting sick. | ||
| So it just confuses you? | ||
| Yeah, it just makes you feel uneasy, like when you're spinning on a carnival ride or something, and your stomach starts getting low. | ||
| That makes sense where if your eyeballs are seeing something that's blurry and fucked, your mind might say, oh my god, you're sick, you should throw up. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You ate something bad, you're dying. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here's something I'll show you. | ||
| There's not a lot of content and Facebook may be fucking up by not showing this stuff more. | ||
| So Canon made this dual fisheye lens. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's the only one that's out there right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That allows you to shoot content to be watched in these headsets. | ||
| And when it's done right, which hasn't been done right very much, but when it is done right, it's fucking amazing. | ||
| It is wild how cool it looks. | ||
| But there's not a lot to look at right now. | ||
| And you have to put the headset on to see it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But things in front of you look like you should just reach out and touch them, and they're in high-definition quality. | ||
| It seems like every iteration of these things, we're always waiting for the one that's like, that's it. | ||
| Like, if you go back to when VR was first talked about, it was like the 80s and 90s. | ||
| Remember, they thought that that was going to be a thing. | ||
| You put on the goggles, you're in another world. | ||
| But technology wasn't really there. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, with Oculus and with the HTC Vive, okay, we're getting real close. | ||
| Now we're getting real close. | ||
| But it's still like... | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| That's what they think Apple is going to do with their headset, that it's going to be that cool, supposedly. | ||
| This is VR in the 90s. | ||
| They probably thought, this is the beginning. | ||
| We're getting ready, and this is going to be the future. | ||
| To use this, you had to be in a big pod. | ||
| Those pods we almost want to use now, but the pod was just to track you. | ||
| If you went out of the pod, it wasn't reading you. | ||
| Anything inside the pod, it read. | ||
| You had to have all sorts of cables and wires and things connected to you. | ||
| Still, though. | ||
| Where did they have this at? | ||
| They did a cosci. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So this is in the 90s. | ||
| And here we are, 2023. It's still not quite... | ||
| You would have thought that would have taken off. | ||
| I forgot about that. | ||
| That's what the headset looks like. | ||
| They still have these things in arcades all over the place. | ||
| The graphics got a little better. | ||
| One of the things they think they're going to be able to do is recreate psychedelic experiences. | ||
| They think they're going to be able to make a VR psychedelic experience so you could trip balls without having to do any drugs and it'll have the same effect on your mind. | ||
| I do a pretty good version of it, like, all the time. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing I play all the time, I have a character that you could do DMT, acid, mushrooms, and stuff like that, and you take it, and you start seeing a little bit of trails on your hands, and then you start seeing more trails. | ||
| Like, it's pretty good. | ||
| And you could do DMT, where there's, like, fucking, like, Buddhas coming out of the ground that look like lasers and shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes we'll just listen to music, get high, and just do that for hours. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what are you using? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This looks like unreal, but someone's made a shrimp trip. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| This just goes on for a few minutes. | ||
| Yeah, there's just different visuals and stuff. | ||
| How many grams would you say that is? | ||
| Yeah, see, oh, I love that lighting effect where it's like clouds, shadows. | ||
| Maybe this is a real video, then they fucked with it. | ||
| Yeah, I think this is a real dog. | ||
| Yeah, this is a real video. | ||
| The dog knows you're tripping. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| So what are you using? | ||
| I'm using VRChat, which is the good version of what Zuckerberg's trying to do. | ||
| And VRChat is connected how? | ||
| Are you using a PC? It's free. | ||
| You can actually use an Oculus for it. | ||
| You're not going to get that great of graphics. | ||
| But I'm using a really high-end PC and a Valve Index headset. | ||
| It's a VR chats free and it's kind of like, you know, you just download it, you make your character or whatever. | ||
| And then you go, hey, I want to go to Disneyland or hey, I want to go buy on a beach, you know, and you just type in beach and it's like Google and they'll show you all the worlds you can go to. | ||
| And then you go there, meet up with your friends, you know, do acid on the beach or whatever. | ||
| And the graphics are really high end. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Each level is made by a different person, so there's good versions of it and bad versions of it, realistic versions of it. | ||
| So this is like the real cutting edge. | ||
| Yeah, this is what... | ||
| This is way more popular times a lot than Zuckerberg's stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| How many people are using this? | ||
| It's one of the largest user base of a multiplayer game on Steam. | ||
| There is another thing which I don't like. | ||
| You're hung up on that headset. | ||
| Maybe today you do, but you're not going to have to use the headset. | ||
| You'll be able to play with me and Brian. | ||
| If we have our headsets on, just through a browser like this. | ||
| Oh, you can do that right now. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have to put the headset on. | ||
| Oh, so you can play it like a video game. | ||
| Yeah, or a chat room. | ||
| Now, what is the best version of graphics? | ||
| Like, these things are all made by different people, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| So what's the best version? | ||
| So if I were to... | ||
| I'm going to play this right now with you. | ||
| I have bookmarked all these worlds. | ||
| So I have the best world to go to if you want to be in a beach. | ||
| Best world if you want to be on the moon. | ||
| Look at this bar. | ||
| This kind of has good lighting and stuff, but it almost looks like a nice realistic bar. | ||
| And look at that character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| That's somebody that scanned themselves, it looks like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Obviously. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| And so, you know, you look back at what we were just watching with Zuckerberg's, you know, metaverse, and it's so silly compared to this, you know, like, graphic-wise. | ||
| It's like, you can be anything in it you want. | ||
| Yeah, but isn't the metaverse stuff, the Zuckerberg stuff, capable of doing things like this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just, I mean, that's why people, why it's not working, though. | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
| That looks like a real ice bin for popsicles, you know, like at a convenience store. | ||
| That's not the graphics you're seeing on Zuckerberg. | ||
| Zuckerberg is very cartoony, very kids kind of feeling. | ||
| But is that for all of them or just different software applications? | ||
| Well, you could play this on the headset, but the metaverse, the Facebook metaverse, They're trying to get you into that metaverse world, and that's what's failing. | ||
| But it's other stuff in the metaverse, like with the Oculus that they have, they have these virtual tours. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not like the metaverse. | ||
| The headset's just like a computer, pretty much. | ||
| So you can download anything on it. | ||
| So the metaverse is like a walled garden. | ||
| Metaverse is like what we were just watching VRChat, where it's kind of like a chat. | ||
| That's the real Metaverse. | ||
| But what Zuckerberg was trying to do, you're saying, is like a walled garden. | ||
| Like they were making it very specific to these apps. | ||
| They were going to have these kind of cartoony things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The Metaverse is doing it through all these characters and stuff like that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's so hard to explain because they made it confusing as fuck, you know? | ||
| But if you can't explain it, nobody can explain it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a lot of the problem, you know. | ||
| So VR is taking off. | ||
| The metaverse is just not taking off because Facebook wants you to live inside their world, you know. | ||
| And it's a world that they create, though. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's what I mean by a wall card. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So it's all their stuff. | ||
| And it's also very stylistic. | ||
| I kind of feel like I've been having the problem. | ||
| If I haven't come across anything yet that, like, Brian and I couldn't explain or show you in less than three minutes, then they haven't fucking figured it out yet. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I dare you. | |
| So I'm like, I don't know. | ||
| It seems close, but it seemed close for four years. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| With every iteration of the virtual reality world, it's like, this is going to be it. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| I don't know how much the pandemic would have slowed down production. | ||
| I feel like it did fuck up some stuff while they were all working in offices doing stuff, messing with these headsets. | ||
| Because they have shown some behind... | ||
| There's a video that Zuckerberg has, I think, on 60 Minutes. | ||
| They were showing some behind-the-scenes prototype headsets. | ||
| They have a thing that sticks out from the eye area. | ||
| It's ultrasonic sound waves that are pointed at your mouth. | ||
| And the lady that they had tried, maybe it was a guy, they said they could feel raindrops on their mouth. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And that was recreated with sound waves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Physically touching you. | ||
| But that's not anything they have commercially available. | ||
| It's just an in-house demo. | ||
| And that sounds fucking cool, too. | ||
| It seems like it's the neural link. | ||
| It seems like it's some sort of neural interface. | ||
| When that hits, then all this shit's going to make sense. | ||
| And that's even scarier, because you don't know what you're seeing is real or not. | ||
| You know, that's sci-fi movie shit. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to walk right off the top of a building. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You get hacked somehow, or trolled, and you go into traffic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's scary as fuck. | ||
| Well, I mean, the future is always going to be scary when it comes to things like this. | ||
| Just technology in general. | ||
| There's going to be some mistakes. | ||
| They also announced new Black Mirror episodes coming that are going to probably scare us all somewhere. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| I haven't watched all the ones that exist. | ||
| Same. | ||
| I can't get anybody to watch them with me. | ||
| I have to watch them by myself. | ||
| You come over, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come over. | |
| I got a truck out to the woods. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you going to move closer, do you think? | ||
| I think I might get a studio apartment downtown or something. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Just because there's just... | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Just have a nice little studio. | ||
| And friends in town, they could use it, you know? | ||
| But then I could also, like, hey, it's 2 in the morning. | ||
| Might as well just stay here. | ||
| I have to be here tomorrow, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| A lot of people love that. | ||
| Like, Tony loves living down there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| I don't know if I want to live there all the time, though. | ||
| Some people love that urban sort of experience. | ||
| Yeah, not me. | ||
| You've always been a suburb guy. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| My neighborhood's so quiet. | ||
| Everyone's working. | ||
| At 9 o'clock, it's pitch black. | ||
| It's quiet and pitch black. | ||
| I can just go out there and hear nothing except animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I think living in the city is probably fun. | ||
| But, you know, Tony's like, he just wants to do stand-up every day. | ||
| Just wants to just roll out of his place, go to a Starbucks, get a coffee. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some people are like that. | ||
| I like relaxation. | ||
| Every time I go to New York City, I always imagine, could I live here? | ||
| I'm always like, I don't think I would like it. | ||
| I could never live there. | ||
| Some people, that's the only thing they love. | ||
| They love it more than anything. | ||
| They love, like, Ari. | ||
| He loves the energy. | ||
| He loves being around all the people. | ||
| I also don't like living in buildings. | ||
| When you live in a tall building and stuff, I don't like that feeling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fire. | |
| Burning Inferno. | ||
| The time when we were in the hotel fire. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| That's a scary moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When people are walking too slow down the stairs, and you're just ready to go over the top of these motherfuckers. | ||
| Dude, I was panicking. | ||
| Yeah, you should be. | ||
| Remember when we went down to the second floor, and we saw all that smoke, and it was just the fire extinguisher or something? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was weird. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it was. | ||
| Some jackasses got drunk and set off a fire extinguisher and they had to get everybody out of the entire fucking building. | ||
|
unidentified
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And Joey Diaz, I took the elevator dog, I don't care. | |
| Like a doctor. | ||
| I would probably take an elevator too. | ||
| Probably doesn't seem like the worst idea as long as the power doesn't go out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It seems like that's some kind of myth that they don't want everyone to pile into the elevator or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You get stuck there if you lose power or something? | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to get stuck. | ||
| You don't want to get stuck in the elevator if it loses power. | ||
| That makes the most sense. | ||
| And then the building's on fire? | ||
| You can't get out? | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| Did you see the video of the elevator, the counterweight, fucked up? | ||
| No. | ||
| You know, instead of going down like a lot of elevators you're afraid of? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It fucking went up at a high speed. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Show the video. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| I hate elevators. | ||
| Even the elevator at the mothership, I refuse to go with it. | ||
| It's very slow. | ||
| Yeah, even if it's any kind of elevator. | ||
| The elevator at the mothership is so slow, it seems broken. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have you got that shit checked? | ||
| We did. | ||
| Got it totally fixed. | ||
| It's all totally replaced. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is eight years old. | ||
| I don't know if this is... | ||
| I think it was an old video. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It just went viral again. | ||
| So he gets on it, and look, it's just fucking going out of control. | ||
| Because it goes up 30 floors in 15 seconds. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| There's no sound. | ||
| Show the crazy part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would freak me the fuck out. | |
| What was the crazy part? | ||
| You see it crash. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| They're not gonna show the crash part? | ||
| They think you can't handle it. | ||
| there's another one maybe oh Jesus So it gets all the way to the top and he gets... | ||
| Oh shit, he got wrecked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Is that guy alive? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This has been going around. | ||
| There's a lot of people standing near trains I've been seeing. | ||
| They're walking next to a train. | ||
| They just get jacked by the train. | ||
| They're walking too close to it. | ||
| For social media posts, they're saying. | ||
| Look how the door opened, but the elevator's still moving. | ||
| Fuck, bro. | ||
| No. | ||
| I wouldn't even know what to do. | ||
| I would probably lay on the ground. | ||
| What can you do? | ||
| Boom, when you hit the top. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That dude must be dead. | |
| So I've never seen that happen before. | ||
| It scared the shit out of me after I saw it. | ||
| Elevators are fucking terrifying. | ||
| So are escalators. | ||
| People fall through and get chewed up by the gears. | ||
| I never thought about that when that one video came out of the woman falling through. | ||
| That's why regulations are important, kids. | ||
| You need regulators. | ||
| When it comes to that kind of shit, you need inspectors. | ||
| All right, Brian Redband, let's wrap this bitch up. | ||
| Tell everybody the club name. | ||
| Sunset Strip Comedy Club. | ||
| It's on 6th Street, next door to Joe's Club, and it's Sunset Strip ATX. We have The Roast Battle now. | ||
| We have a bunch of shows. | ||
| I bring in my secret show there starting the 18th of this month. | ||
| We have a lot of people from out of town. | ||
| This Bitchin' Friends tonight. | ||
| Sarah Weinshank. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| They were just on the podcast yesterday. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Holtzman's going to be there Saturday. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Casey Rocket and David Lucas. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| Thanks, buddy. | ||
| Let everybody know. | ||
| What's the website? | ||
| Sunsetstripatx.com. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And Redband, right? | ||
| On everything? | ||
| Yeah, Redband. | ||
| On Twitter, Instagram? | ||
| Do you still use Facebook? | ||
| Do you argue about politics? | ||
| No, I don't really use Facebook too much. | ||
| Once in a great while, I'll just use it to check in on them. | ||
| Are you fucking with any of the other ones? | ||
| Like, what's your profile on Truth Social? | ||
| I tried to get Truth, but their servers were down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, and I never got it. | ||
| Blue Skies is what I'm trying to get an invitation code. | ||
| Hey, Zuck? | ||
| That's the Dorsey one. | ||
| Oh, no, no. | ||
| Yeah, Dorsey. | ||
| Jack Dorsey. | ||
| Give me that invitation code. | ||
| What are they doing with Blue Sky? | ||
| Blue Sky is Twitter. | ||
| Have you seen the screenshots of it? | ||
| It looks just like Twitter. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| And I'm down. | ||
| I'm down. | ||
| Yeah, I'm down. | ||
| I like Jack. | ||
| What is he doing differently with it? | ||
| I don't think there's anything different. | ||
| I think he pretty much just... | ||
| It's the way the back end works. | ||
| Remember how once someone was just sitting here explaining that you could take all of your shit with you? | ||
| I forget who it may be. | ||
| Adam Curry? | ||
| No, Bill Ottman was explaining about that whole back-end stuff that was way over my head. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| They have an ability to take all your content with you if you want to leave. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I'm trying to find a picture of it, but it's not showing on their... | ||
| Yeah, it's supposedly... | ||
| Some sort of decentralized, uncensored version of it. | ||
| Yeah, see, it looks exactly like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, it's Twitter. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It even has a repost thing. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| The graphics are the same. | ||
| And I think Jack changed his tune on Elon, and I think that's why he's doing this. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people soured on Elon. | ||
| He announced yesterday that Twitter's DMs are going to turn encrypted starting like today or something. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So no one, not even I could see it if there's a gun to my head. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| And that's something about phone calls and all sorts of stuff. | ||
| Or he's a fad. | ||
| It's a trap! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think he's a friend. | ||
| I think he's an alien. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| If anything. | ||
| All right. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Let's wrap it up. | ||
| SunSaysTripATX.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Red Band on social media. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Check out Secret Show. | ||
| It's moving there next Thursday, the 18th. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Every Thursday. |
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