April 5, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:21:46
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| And we're up. | ||
| Yeah, the NXIVM cult is the one that I still haven't watched that documentary. | ||
| I've been watching this doc, I've got a bit about the place that I used, that I bought before I bought the mothership. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it's about a place that was owned by a cult. | ||
| So I've been watching the documentary on the cult. | ||
| It's called Holy Hell. | ||
| It's so fucking crazy. | ||
| I've been watching it, I've watched it three or four times to try to like find the angles for the bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because the guy who ran it was a gay porn star who was also a hypnotist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| It's such a powerful combination. | ||
| All he wore was Speedos and eyeliner. | ||
| And this dude ran this cult for 20 fucking years. | ||
| And they kicked him out and sent him to Hawaii. | ||
| And now he's running in Hawaii. | ||
| At the end of the documentary, the guy goes to visit the guy in Hawaii. | ||
| Now he's old and fucked up looking. | ||
| He's had a bunch of plastic surgery, like fake cheeks, and his lips are done and everything. | ||
| He looks like a monster. | ||
| And he's still got these people following around and opening the doors for him. | ||
| And he sits down and he... | ||
| Talks like a guru. | ||
| Complete con artist. | ||
| Did they show you his porns? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| Oh, yeah, they just block out where the dick is going in the ass. | ||
| He's pounding this guy from behind, and then he's doing like a push-up. | ||
| He's doing like a plank, and this guy is underneath him, and he's holding on to the guys. | ||
| The guy's holding on to his hips, and he's just mouthfucking this guy while his legs are completely suspended in the air. | ||
| Oh, he's just, okay, doing workouts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Military. | |
| Yeah, he's basically doing a workout. | ||
| So he's got, like, in a push-up position like this, and his leg is, both of his legs are up there, like, that pointed. | ||
| And he's going like this, just humping this guy's mouth. | ||
| I mean, the guy, and this is something that the cult members had found out while he was, you know, in there. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| See, when he got older he started looking creepy. | ||
| This guy started this cult in 1981. He was an extra in Rosemary's Baby. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that was like his claim to fame. | ||
| He was just a bad actor. | ||
| He's got some young bucks with him. | ||
| Oh, he had all young bucks and young beautiful women too. | ||
| Like that's how he attracted the heterosexual men. | ||
| He had a bunch of young beautiful women, but he told them never to have relationships together and then he fucked all the guys. | ||
| The move with the NXIVM guy did. | ||
| You can get a really good cult going, but everyone's not going to get the... | ||
| Even Charles Manson. | ||
| They always made it out to these young, pretty hippie girls. | ||
| When you see the pictures, they're all pretty rough. | ||
| The Mansonmans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the NXIVM cult, it's the same thing. | ||
| It's like they tell you all the people that were involved and like... | ||
| Except for, like, one girl. | ||
| Like, most of them were pretty, like, homely. | ||
| So you're like, yeah, I guess if you're... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If your cult leader status is to bang a bunch of, like, they're okays. | ||
| Well, this is like headshots after they've left the cult and realized it was over. | ||
| That girl's the actress. | ||
| She's the actress? | ||
| The bottom left one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's the prettiest. | ||
| I recognize her. | ||
| But she's, like, secretary. | ||
| Yes, she was like, yes, exactly. | ||
| I think she got out of fucking him because she would recruit the girls and brand them and stuff. | ||
| That girl's pretty. | ||
| That girl's pretty. | ||
| That's, uh, whatchamacallit's daughter. | ||
| Who? | ||
| She got involved, too. | ||
| Oh, she's an actress. | ||
| She was an actress in, like, those old, like, Falcon Crest-type shows. | ||
| Falcon Crest. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Could you imagine being trapped on one of those shows where you gotta get a paycheck every week and the paycheck is wonderful. | ||
| You're probably making like a hundred grand a week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you're not gonna leave. | |
| You're not going to leave. | ||
| And you're like, this sucks. | ||
| I didn't get into acting to do this. | ||
| But is it a good career if you're like, take a Lorenzo Lamas. | ||
| The guy is like, you know, small parts in Grease and stuff. | ||
| Then he's on Falcon Crest as a heartthrob for a while, which is, I think, network. | ||
| That's a big network. | ||
| Then he's renegade for years, probably his most successful thing. | ||
| Yeah, that was like a syndicated show. | ||
| Yeah, that was a syndicated show. | ||
| Beautiful man. | ||
| Oh, he was gorgeous in his day. | ||
| Beautiful man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what does he look like now? | ||
| That's him up there. | ||
| Not bad, not bad. | ||
| Still slinging dick. | ||
| 63. But major like white drama. | ||
| Engaged to a younger woman who goes by Nerdy Blonde online. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect. | |
| Oh, that's new. | ||
| He already had like a big girl, like a lady leave him that he was with for a while. | ||
| He was with a Playboy girl or something. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I remember seeing that. | ||
| Like, she had a ton of plastic surgery and shit, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lorenzo Lamas. | ||
| Do you think he ever, like, if he looked back at himself at 16, 17, 18, whatever, when he's looking forward, if he's like, that's my career, do you think he'd be happy with that? | ||
| Or go, nah. | ||
| I want something legit. | ||
| It would really depend on how smart he is. | ||
| I've never heard him talk. | ||
| Or what he did with his money, I guess. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But also, how smart is he? | ||
| Are you stimulated there? | ||
| Are you just happy to get attention? | ||
| I bet he's just happy to get attention. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I think he was more pretty than brilliant. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But you know, saying with the NXIVM guy and the intelligence of them, it's weird. | ||
| Coffee? | ||
| Because the different states in life, that guy made himself very wealthy in that cult, the NXIVM guy. | ||
| Oh, he made himself wealthy by... | ||
| Sure, yeah, because it's a Ponzi scheme. | ||
| On top of the sex thing, it was most... | ||
| First of all, it was a money thing, first and foremost. | ||
| Sex was bonus. | ||
| It was one of those schemes to do, like... | ||
| They'd be like, get five more people to join. | ||
| Oh, pyramid scheme. | ||
| Pyramid scheme, for sure. | ||
| And then once they were in and believed their life was getting better from that, he'd be like, hey girls, there's a little side project I got going on called Fuck Me When I Tell You To. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| But weren't they getting branded or something? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| It gets greedy. | ||
| Those things always go down because you... | ||
| The guy has too much power and he keeps going. | ||
| It's not enough to just be like, hey, I'm fucking three chicks. | ||
| It's Negan and the Walking Dead. | ||
| You can fuck three chicks and still you want to bank the guy who worships you. | ||
| His wife. | ||
| You want to see if you can get his wife, too. | ||
| And it's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they always wind up doing it, too. | ||
| They get it. | ||
| Because the guy has to comply. | ||
| They don't know what to do. | ||
| Like David Koresh. | ||
| He had a deal where he could fuck everyone's wife. | ||
| The people that get out of it like sitting there and like just seeing a guy just seeing it I don't know how they stay together like a guy and his wife sitting on a couch while the guy's hysterically crying like I can't believe I Sat in that room and waited for him to fuck you while I you know I can believe it That they stay together? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just tough. | ||
| There's guys like that out there. | ||
| They're like, the girl can do anything. | ||
| She can shit in his face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but they're like, don't do that. | |
| I don't do that to you. | ||
| There's certain people. | ||
| And they have to complain about it the whole time? | ||
| Yeah, there's always been humans like that. | ||
| There's like a spectrum of humans. | ||
| There's always been humans that you could just kind of like push around. | ||
| Walk over? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the other one I just watched, I said, because this guy had no status in life. | ||
| It was an older guy who moved into his... | ||
| I think it was his daughter. | ||
| His daughter would always talk about how great her dad was, and he was super involved in, like, SEAL team shit with Gorbachev and all these, like, past political dealings. | ||
| But he's in jail now because the government railroaded him. | ||
| This is what she would tell all of her dorm mates, you know, housemates in college. | ||
| But he rules. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He comes out of jail, and she's like, can he come live here with us for a while? | ||
| And then over the course of the next few years, he just turns his daughter's house of friends into a sex cult. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Yeah, I heard about that one, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of con men out there. | ||
| What we were talking about before the podcast, there's a lot of con men out there and con women. | ||
| There's a lot of con artists. | ||
| Do they con themselves or do they think some part of them is doing a good thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you think the NXIVM guy is like, I am teaching them life skills and building them up? | ||
| Yeah, I bet they lie to themselves. | ||
| There's a little bit of that in there. | ||
| What's fascinating about this holy hell thing, in the beginning the cult was amazing. | ||
| As it got older, the guy started fucking everybody. | ||
| He started fucking all the men. | ||
| That's one of the things he did as he got older. | ||
| Heterosexual men started fucking them and hypnotizing them. | ||
| And then on top of that, he started telling people to get plastic surgery so he could see what it looked like. | ||
| He wanted to get his cheeks done, so he had his followers get the cheeks done. | ||
| What happened with him is he was beautiful when he was young. | ||
| That's the guy who made the documentary. | ||
| That's Will Allen. | ||
| He's the guy who made it. | ||
| Also pretty. | ||
| Also, all the people were good looking. | ||
| Can't really put his ass on the lawn. | ||
| The picture of him up there with his arms up in the air and everyone's got their hands up, that's him older, but still ripped and jacked. | ||
| But when he was young, in the beginning of the documentary, He was a beautiful man. | ||
| Perfect features. | ||
| And this amazing body. | ||
| And he was a ballet dancer. | ||
| And he put on his fake accent. | ||
| What accent? | ||
| Like he was a guru. | ||
| Like, I am here to tell you, you are just life. | ||
| Life is beautiful. | ||
| You know, that kind of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You know, I'm sure the guy, I mean, he's a fucking actor. | ||
| Do you think right away he knows, I can never get you, get out, you're not going to be part of my cult? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| He just gets the weakest people. | ||
| Yeah, if you stumbled in there, first of all, he'd be like, you're not our type. | ||
| No. | ||
| You've got to be good looking. | ||
| I'll prove it. | ||
| You're not that good looking. | ||
| I love you, Jeff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good point. | |
| You're not the best looking guy. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| On Gay Island, I would have trouble there. | ||
| Yeah, there would be a problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then guys like you, or I, or any of us, we'd be like, what are you doing? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| How do you guys make money? | ||
| Who's making money? | ||
| Where's the money going? | ||
| Yeah, you have a question early on. | ||
| Their talent is finding people who are lost and don't ask questions. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Who are like, I'm sure it's taken care of. | ||
| Just the idea of like, when you hear those things, like, where's the point where you have to go, hey, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, I don't, that doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| They all come from yoga classes. | ||
| I mean, all his guys, his people. | ||
| He would teach yoga classes in LA. And that's how I'd find them. | ||
| You know, if you go to yoga, I mean, there's a lot of people in yoga. | ||
| There's a spectrum. | ||
| But there's a certain percentage of guaranteed lost people in yoga classes. | ||
| I feel like CrossFit had that, too. | ||
| When I was doing CrossFit, like how much they... | ||
| And another thing, that's why... | ||
| Jiu-jitsu, too. | ||
| It wasn't like buying into the... | ||
| They said, before I took CrossFit, they were like, You know, some people go, ah, it's cultish, dude. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And I go, I don't even know what that means. | ||
| I walk in, and I do the thing that's on the board that it says to do. | ||
| At the time, I can do it. | ||
| And then I go home. | ||
| But I then did realize, after being there for like a year, I'm like, these guys are having barbecues every weekend. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And then people, the owner of the... | ||
| Of the CrossFit gym. | ||
| There was two guys who owned it. | ||
| Both married guys. | ||
| I think both of them started fucking girls in the class. | ||
| At least one of them did for sure. | ||
| And the family broke up. | ||
| And he was very publicly with this much younger girl from class. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| There's going to be a segment of the class that wants the approval of the teacher. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, real bad. | ||
| This guy, they would call him the teacher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He had all these different, well here's the thing, his name was Jaime Gomez, so he had to change it right away. | ||
| You can't fly with that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jaime Gomez fixes Toyotas. | |
| Jaime Gomez is on the Canelo Alvarez undercar. | ||
| He doesn't bring you the answers from the universe. | ||
| That's him when he was already older and looking creepy. | ||
| If you go to like, go to his name, Jaime Gomez, Rosemary's Baby. | ||
| I don't think he called him, I think he called himself Michelle back then. | ||
| He changed his name three times. | ||
| Four times. | ||
| Okay, so he changes his name, that's him right there. | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
| Like, beautiful man. | ||
| The guy with the white. | ||
| That's him and Rosemary's Baby. | ||
| So, you know. | ||
| So hypnotic, right? | ||
| Just something about people with beautiful features, they can talk more people into things, right? | ||
| Perfect skin, right? | ||
| So this guy is ripped, he's walking around in a Speedo, and he's saying all these things that in the beginning make everybody happy. | ||
| And he does this thing where he puts them in a meditative state and he touches their forehead and he tells them that when he touches their forehead they're going to experience orgasms and feel the universe. | ||
| And these people, they're legitimately tripping balls. | ||
| Because it's the power of suggestion and hypnotism. | ||
| So he's hypnotizing these people, and then he's putting his... | ||
| Like, in the beginning of the cult, it's amazing. | ||
| Like, no one seems to have a problem in the beginning. | ||
| That's the thing about these things. | ||
| When you watch the beginning of Wild Wild Country, same shit. | ||
| The beginning looks amazing. | ||
| It was like, I want to join. | ||
| That's what my friend Todd said to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, dude, I want to shut it off after episode one. | |
| It's great. | ||
| Let's get out there. | ||
| He's like, I want to go find them. | ||
| I want to join! | ||
| It looks like they're having a good time! | ||
| Because most people live these fucking miserable lives, doing a job they don't like to do, and if someone will tell you, like, you've got a community, we eat together, we pray together, they all meditated together, they all splashed around the water, it looks like they're having a great fucking time! | ||
| But as the guy gets older, he gets creepier. | ||
| And the cult awareness network goes after him. | ||
| So he has to leave L.A. in the middle of the night. | ||
| And he moves to Texas. | ||
| And so he sets up shop in Texas. | ||
| How are they not going to find him in Texas? | ||
| Changed his name again. | ||
| This is the 90s. | ||
| Pre-internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pre-internet. | |
| 90s, bro. | ||
| This is the 90s. | ||
| He starts the cult in like 81. So in the early 90s, there's these weirdos splashing around in Barton Springs holding hands with this guy. | ||
| We're Speedos and an eyeliner like what the fuck and that's where they go. | ||
| He changes his name from Michelle to Andreas and so Andreas is now he's getting older He starts getting weird and one of the things he starts doing is fucking with his face He starts like shoving cheek things and pulling things back and lips He looks fucking weird and he just he's hanging on to Like, his good looks, and it throws them off, because it doesn't fly with his message. | ||
| Your body is a vessel. | ||
| Your body is just a vessel. | ||
| I know you're getting cut up. | ||
| You are God. | ||
| We are all God. | ||
| You know, it's like, but now all of a sudden, he's like getting facial surgery, and they're like, huh. | ||
| And so then a guy leaves. | ||
| He was more gay than leader Well, I got to get the face He had to get the face done. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fascinating documentary man. | ||
| I I love all those things. | ||
| I love when you watch one of these things. | ||
| That one, the dude who fucked the whole family in Utah. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| But you're watching, you're just like, how do I not know about this? | ||
| Dude, I think there's certain people that, I mean, I think this is why cults work. | ||
| I think this is why some people become religious zealots and suicide bombers. | ||
| There's certain people that are just fucking really gullible, man. | ||
| You can get them. | ||
| Well, not one of them ever. | ||
| Most of them, when they're interviewed afterwards, when they're out, they always say that same line of like, I know what cults were. | ||
| And in fact, when they would explain to people what was going on, they'd be like, I know what you're thinking. | ||
| This isn't a cult. | ||
| It's just a bunch of people living together, dressing the same, doing whatever. | ||
| They talk about it in the documentary. | ||
| They explain a cult while they keep telling you, like, no, it's not that. | ||
| We just all eat out of the same tray. | ||
| We don't eat proteins. | ||
| In the documentary, they were saying, well, they were joking around that everybody thinks it's a cult. | ||
| And they're like, well, if we're in a cult, at least we're in a good one. | ||
| And it was for a long time until one guy leaves the cult and sends out a mass email. | ||
| It's like, hey man, this guy's been hypnotizing me and fucking me for the past 10 years. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He found out he was being hypnotized. | ||
| Oh, I mean, he's doing hypnotherapy on them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember in Boston? | |
| He's putting them in states. | ||
| Remember in Boston that hypnotist? | ||
| Frank Santos. | ||
| Yeah, and we saw a door guy pass out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He tried to do the whole room and a door guy off to the left was just gone and somebody pointed it out to him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That door guy would be like a candidate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, when we used to do Stitches, when Greg Fitzsimmons and I were coming up in Boston, Frank Santos was the fucking man. | ||
| And we would all go watch because it was a comedy hypnotism show. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| And he would put people under. | ||
| And some people he couldn't put under. | ||
| Some people were just in front. | ||
| Because you're doing it. | ||
| It's not like you could get hypnotized if you wanted to in a relaxed setting. | ||
| I had it done once. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| My friend Vinnie Shorman, he hypnotizes fighters and he gets to like get to the root of like whatever their conflict in their mind is and try to sort things out, make them perform better. | ||
| It's not what you're thinking. | ||
| That's why I always don't believe in it because it's not what I'm... | ||
| They're not like, you know, when your eyes are open, like walk that way. | ||
| Maybe not you. | ||
| Here's my concern. | ||
| Maybe some people you can do that too. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| I think what I experienced was like a different state of mind. | ||
| It seemed like, I'm like, wow, this is like a drug. | ||
| Like, I'm on a drug. | ||
| I mean, this is very strange. | ||
| But it was very pleasant, and it was very, I was present and pleasant. | ||
| It was like I was right there, and I was like looking at things from a different angle. | ||
| It's almost like I had removed some layers of clothing that was like my conditioning in life. | ||
| I got to look at things. | ||
| I'm like, this is very much like a psychedelic drug. | ||
| Someone described to me once where I heard, actually I think it was on Howard Stern also, a hypnotist that came on that does their thing, said, this is essentially in a level of hypnotizing. | ||
| If they're listening to this while driving in a car, and they're just like not even thinking, they're just kind of like, but it's still a state of hypnosis when you're just kind of driving and not thinking. | ||
| You're not hitting cars, you're not in danger of crashing, you're just like on this complete present autopilot. | ||
| Doesn't that weird you out when you find yourself doing that? | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like, I'm doing everything right. | ||
| I'm on the right road. | ||
| I'm in the right lane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not speeding. | |
| You're like, I forgot if the last three lights were green. | ||
| Yeah, but how did I... Just baby dragging behind you. | ||
| How am I just zoning out while I'm driving? | ||
| You're like, those last lights were green, right? | ||
| I'm not crazy. | ||
| Dude, it's so frustrating watching people text and drive. | ||
| You watch them weave into the lane. | ||
| Pull your fucking phone down when you drive. | ||
| You can see it ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn it. | |
| You're like, that's a texter for sure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I always want to pull up to him. | ||
| Just look at him. | ||
| Too dangerous. | ||
| Look at him texting. | ||
| Look at him texting. | ||
| He's a fucking jackass. | ||
| You know what I do when they're texting at a red light and they're looking down? | ||
| I'll just like honk next to them. | ||
| And so they just start going before it's... | ||
| Look up. | ||
| Well, you don't have to do that now with CarPlay. | ||
| CarPlay is the shit. | ||
| You just speak your text? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| I do it all the time. | ||
| I take care of so much shit when I'm on my way to work. | ||
| I can say, text Big J, go fuck yourself. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| And it says, go fuck yourself. | ||
| Send it. | ||
| And I go, yes, send it. | ||
| I don't know what this... | ||
| In my car, one time me and Dan Soder were driving somewhere, and I was like, hey Siri, or whatever you gotta say. | ||
| And it was like, hey Siri. | ||
| And it was like, what would you like me to do? | ||
| And Soder just goes... | ||
| Suck my dick. | ||
| And then the car goes, okay. | ||
| I have no idea why. | ||
| I went, okay. | ||
| Texting suck my dick to Anthony Cumia. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I've never texted Anthony Cumia ever. | ||
| Hey, suck my dick, by the way. | ||
| If you have a shitty microphone... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In your car, it'll fuck up. | ||
| Mine does that when it's like, call so-and-so, and they're like, calling this other person. | ||
| You're like, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| Mine, you know, I wear those little AirPods, and sometimes I pick up the wrong ones. | ||
| I have ones that I have for the sauna, and then ones for real world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the ones for the sauna, they get cooked. | ||
| They go bad. | ||
| Yeah, they go bad. | ||
| So, like, the microphone's bad. | ||
| I'm talking to people. | ||
| They're like, where the fuck are you? | ||
| I'm like, alright, this mic's bad. | ||
| It's cooked. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| So you get sweat in it and shit, and it gets fucked up. | ||
| But they still play music. | ||
| Like, you can still listen to audiobooks on them. | ||
| That never dies. | ||
| But the microphone dies. | ||
| The microphone's gone? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And so if I do that, like, hey Siri, call Ari Shaffir, it's like, you know, texting Greg Fitzsimmons. | ||
| It could be anybody. | ||
| It doesn't know what the fuck you're saying. | ||
| Aaron Snapper. | ||
| It'll play a book for you. | ||
| I like it'll just keep guessing wrong, though. | ||
| It never goes, I don't get it. | ||
| You gotta understand. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| One day it's gonna talk to you, like, hey Jay, is that really what you want to say to your friend? | ||
| Why don't you reconsider it? | ||
| Think about this. | ||
| Suck my dick, really? | ||
| To Anthony Cumia. | ||
| Are you ready to burn that bridge? | ||
| Do you think perhaps that Anthony Cumia is gay and are you gay? | ||
| Is that what you're trying to do with the text? | ||
| Can I get some context? | ||
| Is this more about you than him? | ||
| What if you opt in for AI to give you advice? | ||
| Like what if you opt in for that? | ||
| Like high mathematical probability advice? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| If you opt in, so if you say, text Anthony Cumia, suck my dick, and it's like, Big J, what are we doing? | ||
| I need some context here, first of all. | ||
| Why are we doing this? | ||
| Are you saying suck my dick because that's what you would like him to do? | ||
| And are you gay? | ||
| Or are you being insulting? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this known as a rap classic projection? | |
| Is this what you want? | ||
| Do you really want to put that energy out there in the world? | ||
| The voice AI is gonna be a problem. | ||
| Does it sound like it? | ||
| That's gonna be because we made that joke when Soder left the bonfire. | ||
| Like they gave us that program. | ||
| They go look and you just type whatever and Soder's voice will say. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Anything you want. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| There's full podcasts of me having podcasts with people that I never talked to like Steve Jobs. | ||
| There's a whole conversation with me and Steve Jobs apparently. | ||
| That people just did on AI. I think they did it all on AI. They can do anything. | ||
| Now, it's over. | ||
| Like, it's over. | ||
| Like, any idea of what is or is not the truth, it's gonna become a real problem. | ||
| Do we have a date on it? | ||
| Because I feel like I heard about it one day. | ||
| Chat GPS. Well, it just keeps going. | ||
| I mean, it's four right now. | ||
| It's gonna get to five, and it's gonna... | ||
| What, level? | ||
| Yeah, it's like different levels of it. | ||
| Like early VR versus now is like miles different. | ||
| Nobody's getting nauseous anymore. | ||
| Fuck, I just had a question. | ||
| I can't remember what it was. | ||
| No, I feel like it's... | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| It hasn't changed as much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Catchy BT going forward? | |
| Yeah, no. | ||
| AI making decisions for you or giving a suggestion? | ||
| I'm not going to remember. | ||
| But it has something to do with it. | ||
| The voice podcast that looked like you? | ||
| Oh, yeah, using my voice. | ||
| Oh, no, this is what it was. | ||
| That fucking TikTok ban. | ||
| Like, what is this actual law? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that bill has nothing to do with TikTok, yeah. | |
| Yeah, it has nothing to do with TikTok. | ||
| It's all about having power to restrict access to... | ||
| What's the deal with TikTok? | ||
| Let's pull it up. | ||
| Let's figure out what it is. | ||
| When did TikTok become like a fucking evil? | ||
| Well, first of all, they nailed it. | ||
| Adam Curry doesn't think they are. | ||
| Adam Curry's perspective, when I talked to him, and Adam Curry's brilliant, he said he thinks that they're eating tech in America's lunch, and they're trying to block them out because it's a Chinese-owned company. | ||
| And because they're saying that China's scooping up all the data, guess what? | ||
| He goes, that's exactly what these other companies are doing, too. | ||
| They're all scooping up your data. | ||
| The idea that your data is going to China is a problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does that mean? | |
| It goes to China? | ||
| It's because China represents competition, and they developed an app that's the most addictive app ever. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That's just Adam Curry. | ||
| Is it Adam Curry? | ||
| MTV original VJ? Yeah, that guy's the shit. | ||
| He's a huge tech guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you know what? | |
| He's the fucking original podcaster. | ||
| He's the podfather. | ||
| He's number one. | ||
| A couple things he was ground level on. | ||
| He's super deep in on the internet, man. | ||
| Yeah, it seems the same. | ||
| Seems like it's just an app that they're making money off ads. | ||
| But I will say, what I've never seen before, because Christine, my girlfriend, is like... | ||
| She's on a non-stop. | ||
| And I really like... | ||
| No, she stops herself now, but the fact that you're in a position where you have to stop yourself, and like, she can't wait for me to go to the bathroom, whatever, so she can just start seeing more of them. | ||
| And I'm genuinely afraid... | ||
| Try but I almost like almost at the same rate I want to try crack once like see what all the hubbubs about I want to go on and be like is it getting I'm not into watching Bite-sized videos over there. | ||
| It's not my thing. | ||
| What it does is it finds what you're into and one of the ways I know that is my 12 year old and my 14 year old have fucking completely different feeds They talk about it like my 12 year old is into like weird facts and strange things All kinds of stuff that the 14-year-old's not into. | ||
| The 14-year-old's into dress-up videos. | ||
| People are into different shit, and that's what it'll find your thing. | ||
| It's really good at that. | ||
| But it's also super invasive. | ||
| But then the question is, how much do we know, other than what we found out from Twitter, how much do we know about what these other companies are doing? | ||
| And you just sign up for someone's app. | ||
| How about when you're talking about something and then you see a Google ad for it? | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| We all know by now. | ||
| You can turn that off. | ||
| You can turn that. | ||
| That's actually a function. | ||
| If you go into like Facebook on your phone, all of them, you put turn microphone off. | ||
| It's an option. | ||
| So it doesn't do that. | ||
| If you turn the microphone off though, the app doesn't do almost anything. | ||
| It makes you almost keep it on. | ||
| That's the only reason I have it on. | ||
| It hobbles it. | ||
| It hobbles it so it can listen to you constantly. | ||
| That's too far. | ||
| Following shopping habits or something, it's like maybe. | ||
| That's way too far. | ||
| What about like an Alexa helps you solve a crime because it was recording or something? | ||
| I hate that. | ||
| If we didn't know, if this whole thing with Edward Snowden didn't come down, we would, and that was a long time ago, if you really stop and think about it, we would have no fucking idea that there was a government full-scale surveillance Program that was on the American people like on everybody. | ||
| Yeah, like they could spy on anybody. | ||
| They don't have to have warrants anymore They're just they can do whatever they want. | ||
| They can get all your emails all your voicemails Like that is wild shit and we found out about it because a guy told everybody and then had to hide in Russia Damn it's crazy I scrapped 30 billion images from Facebook and other social media sites and gave them to cops and Oh my God. | ||
| Puts them into a perpetual police lineup. | ||
| Oh, so no more of that. | ||
| They're not in the system. | ||
| They're not in the system. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| 30 billion images from Facebook and social media sites and gave them to police. | ||
| So now they have your name and your face. | ||
| So if you have a fake ID, if you, you know, you get pulled over, they know exactly who you are, and they can run that through some fucking computer that has a database of everything over your social media, everything you've ever done. | ||
| That's so much deeper than DNA evidence, because they would say that, you know, if someone didn't have their DNA in the city, you couldn't find someone, it was their first time, like, crime, and they weren't in it now. | ||
| You could be like, did you buy a shovel recently? | ||
| Jamie, what is the law? | ||
| What is this TikTok law? | ||
| Because people are freaking out about it, and people are telling me that I have to look into it. | ||
| The Confusion is calling it the TikTok law. | ||
| The Restrict Act. | ||
|
unidentified
|
TikTok is not listed in there at all. | |
| Right. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| But it's, you know, that's like, don't say gay, Bill. | ||
| Never really says don't say gay in any of it. | ||
| Yeah, that was a misleading one. | ||
| It's very misleading. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But that's also kind of how it's being sold to people. | |
| It's like, this is what's going to stop the bad TikTok stuff. | ||
| But it's like, hey, TikTok is not mentioned in here, so maybe it won't do that at all. | ||
| So, instead of just going after TikTok, they're making this sweeping act. | ||
| The Restrict Act is described as a systematic framework for addressing technology-based threats to the security and safety of Americans. | ||
| That sounds ominous. | ||
| It grants the Secretary of Commerce the authority to review transactions by certain foreign entities who offer information and communications technologies, products and services in order to identify, investigate and mitigate undue and unacceptable risks to the national security of the United States or its citizens. | ||
| This includes, but not limited to, impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy. | ||
| Sabotage or subversion of ICTs in the United States. | ||
| Boy, that could be interpreted a lot of ways. | ||
| Interference and manipulation of federal elections, which could mean you're just skeptical or you're gullible and you bought into some conspiracy theories and you're talking about them, and instead of just being able to just talk like a nonsense person, you get jacked. | ||
| So it's kind of like subverting the press. | ||
| Undermining the democratic process to steer policy and regulatory decisions in favor of the strategic objectives of a foreign adversary to the detriment of the national security of the United States. | ||
| Like, man, this is all so open to interpretation. | ||
| Like, think of those things. | ||
| Impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy. | ||
| That's easy to do. | ||
| You can impact it? | ||
| What if you impacted it in a positive way? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Impact it? | ||
| The digital economy? | ||
| What have you done? | ||
| Do you promote a certain coin and it blows up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then you just impacted the digital economy. | |
| Think about these Bitcoin guys. | ||
| If Elon posts a Dogecoin image, immediately Dogecoin goes up, right? | ||
| Doesn't that impact the digital economy? | ||
| So what does that mean? | ||
| So what if he says the crypto is bullshit because he believes it? | ||
| Well, doesn't that impact the digital economy? | ||
| Yeah, they could arrest him. | ||
| And are they talking about the digital economy that exists now, or are they talking about a centralized digital currency, which is what China does, or which is what they want to do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what they're saying though? | |
| Are they saying that Elon Musk will be illegal for him to pump Dogecoin? | ||
| I don't know what they're saying. | ||
| The problem is the way that's, I mean obviously I'm not a lawyer, but the way that's written, scroll back down so I can read that, the way that's written, impact to the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy. | ||
| End digital economy is included in there. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've never made money digitally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But look at this. | ||
| So this thing, information, communications, technologies, products, or services, right? | ||
| So this is ICTS. Sabotage or subversion of ICTS in the United States. | ||
| What's ICTS again? | ||
| So it's information, communications, technologies, products, or services, all right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| In order to identify, investigate, and mitigate undue and unacceptable risk to the national security of the United States. | ||
| So if you did something, so subversion. | ||
| So imagine if you said, I think these people are full of shit, and I think what they're trying to do is gain control of the United States, and I think we should resist that. | ||
| That would fall into that. | ||
| And they're selling it as TikTok is doing this. | ||
| TikTok is subverting our elections, or TikTok is subverting our economy. | ||
| They're not even selling it that way. | ||
| They're not even selling it that way. | ||
| These countries are the foreign adversaries that may do bad stuff. | ||
| So they're like, it's a risk that they're going to do something bad with this. | ||
| Yeah, like they've listed using a VPN as a way to subvert that, which would be illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you get a gigantic fine. | |
| Maybe 20 years in prison. | ||
| To use a VPN here? | ||
| How do you steal? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine criminalized VPNs. | ||
| I'm always told to get a VPN. You should get a VPN. Imagine that. | ||
| Potentially criminalizing the use of a VPN service or sideloading to access services blocked from doing business in the United States under the Act due to the text stating that no person may cause or aid, abet, counsel, command, induce, procure, permit, or approve of the doing of any Act that violates the orders issued under the Act What? | ||
| That's so confusing. | ||
| Bro, they're trying to gain more power. | ||
| This is creepy. | ||
| This is not good, and I just gotta hope that people wise up and don't pass this. | ||
| Does it seem like this is something they're passing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know that it's gotten that far. | |
| I know it's been proposed. | ||
| Do you think there's an order to it, where it's like, first we bill China as going after Hong Kong and Taiwan? | ||
| Now we see them as the enemy. | ||
| Now a business associated with them, we can get rid of that now. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| The problem is TikTok zombifies people, so if you take it away, they're going to revolt. | ||
| Yeah, they want it. | ||
| I don't think you have to take it away, but I think that act has nothing to do with TikTok. | ||
| If people have legitimate concerns that people are abusing and overusing TikTok, that's a conversation people should have. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But this is not that. | ||
| It's not because of that. | ||
| It's not because everyone's using it too much. | ||
| This is about what they're getting when you use it. | ||
| All that stuff seems very vague to me. | ||
| Obviously, I'm an idiot. | ||
| But all that stuff seems very vague when they're reading out what they can get you for. | ||
| And that last thing about acts that are listed as impermissible under the act or whatever the fuck the the wording was like, what the fuck is you covering all the bases? | ||
| It seems like it's so open to interpretation. | ||
| Now imagine if something like that existed during the pandemic, the beginning of pandemic where people go, you know, I don't know if these fucking masks work. | ||
| You know, you would immediately get... | ||
| That's against the public health. | ||
| That's against that. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You'd be in legal trouble or sick. | ||
| Now we know they don't work. | ||
| So then it was, we think that you can still get sick even if you get vaccinated. | ||
| Immediately, you would get banned from things. | ||
| So this was in place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, this guy got it. | |
| Been gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The meme guy got found guilty for posting memes. | |
| I don't know the exact details of his quote. | ||
| He got found guilty? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they found him guilty. | |
| And then what? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Do you know the memes, guy? | ||
| It was a very subtle parody of Hillary Clinton. | ||
| He was, like, trying to say with this thing, like, to Hillary voters, they could just stay home and text your vote into this number. | ||
| Wasn't that it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something like that. | |
| It's parody. | ||
| But they took it seriously. | ||
| Or somebody said, can you believe this is happening? | ||
| They found the dude who did it and they fucking arrested him. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You tweeted that out. | |
| Avoid the line. | ||
| Avoid the line. | ||
| Vote from home. | ||
| Text Hillary to 59925. Vote for Hillary and be a part of history. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| I mean, amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He was convicted today by a federal jury in Brooklyn of charge of conspiracy against the rights. | ||
| It's the context. | ||
| You took away the context of the parody. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That's just subverting. | ||
| If you believe that was true, don't vote anyway, man. | ||
| Yeah, you shouldn't get a vote. | ||
| You shouldn't get a vote. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to vote if you get duped by that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Why would anybody wait in line? | ||
| We're worried about old people, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But at a certain point in time, should you really still be voting? | ||
| If you can't drive without murdering a bunch of people at a fair, you cannot vote. | ||
| There's this recent conversation that Biden had with Don Lemon. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No. | ||
| There's this recent conversation where he's like, he asks him if he's been vaccinated. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| He has Biden who's vaccinated? | ||
| Now, again, I don't know if this is real. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| I didn't watch it when it came out. | ||
| And with AI now... | ||
| You don't know if it's real anymore. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck is real. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love the idea that we're not going to believe anything in pictures. | ||
| It's only going to be real life. | ||
| But this is like a video of Biden stammering where he can't find what he's talking about. | ||
| And he's kind of drifting and talking about different things. | ||
| And none of it makes any sense to anybody. | ||
| How long goes it from? | ||
| No, it works. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| You got the vaccination? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Are you okay? | ||
| I mean, you seem... | ||
| No, it works. | ||
| Or the mom and dad. | ||
| Or the neighbor. | ||
| Or when you go to church. | ||
| No, I really mean it. | ||
| There are trusted interlocutors. | ||
| Think of the people. | ||
| If your kid wanted to find out Whether or not there's a man on the moon or something, or whether those aliens are here or not, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it? | ||
| I do feel sympathy. | ||
| I feel like when I smoke too much pot before a show and I go on a tangent in the middle of a joke and don't know where I'm going. | ||
| Yeah, those are fun. | ||
| That's how he sounds. | ||
| Those are fun. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm not saying, no, listen, for real though. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| You were there. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like at that point in time, should you still be voting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if it wasn't the president... | ||
| I mean, if you can show... | ||
| Like, should we... | ||
| I don't want to restrict anybody's right to vote, right? | ||
| Nobody does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you're, like, some fucking crazy crackpot QAnon person, and you've got an uncle that can't read anymore, and you take him in there to vote, like, we're gonna fucking vote with Margaret Taylor Greene. | ||
| You know, you, like, start writing things in, and, like... | ||
| How about a voting exit? | ||
| If you can't vote until you're 18, maybe you have to stop when you're like 80. Yeah, these laws aren't going to affect you. | ||
| They're going to affect us. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, stop being in line. | ||
| Yeah, every day's a gift, bitch. | ||
| Just live it out. | ||
| The video was edited just a little bit, apparently. | ||
| Oh, that's all you need. | ||
| Oh, how much was it edited? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're trying to find out. | |
| That's all you need. | ||
| You can't believe any of it. | ||
| Amazing, though. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It looks so seamless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he went into a story. | |
| He was answering his question, but then he went into a story, and it took out that part, I guess. | ||
| Oh, what cunts? | ||
| Just make him look rambling? | ||
| He fumfers around plenty, though. | ||
| He fumfers around plenty. | ||
| At some point, let's say you have the dad in a family who's leading it, then he becomes a little older and he starts going senile. | ||
| At some point, all the kids are like, we don't have to listen to him anymore, right? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta take care of him now. | ||
| Now it's like we gotta take care of dad or else he drives a lawnmower on the highway. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to take care of dad. | ||
| I have friends that have dads that are compromised. | ||
| It's a real problem. | ||
| It's like you can't leave them alone. | ||
| They don't know where they're going. | ||
| They'll just get in the car and drive. | ||
| They'll go someplace and forget how to get home. | ||
| And they don't want to get up the keys. | ||
| Well, they don't want to stop living their life. | ||
| And then sometimes you have to put them in a place where there's going to be medical supervisors watching over them. | ||
| Because they don't know what's going on. | ||
| How awful is it? | ||
| Horrible. | ||
| Bruce Willis knows it's coming. | ||
| He's not even there yet. | ||
| It's incurable what he's got. | ||
| He's pretty fucked up. | ||
| He's got something called aphasia. | ||
| And then there's also some other diagnosis that he got recently, like some form of dementia. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, some neurodegenerative type deal. | ||
| It won't get better, and he's aware that over the next probably year, I guess, or so, he's going to become not aware of what's going on around him. | ||
| God, what causes that? | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| Would you just go into senility, or would you handle it? | ||
| I would try mushrooms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, you know, the neurodegenerative process of, like, any kind of a disease like that, I would imagine when you talk about... | ||
| What is the... | ||
| There's a thing that mushrooms can do. | ||
| Change your neural pathway? | ||
| Is it, like, lion's mane and... | ||
| Golden teachers. | ||
| And psilocybin. | ||
| They apparently can help to grow neurons, which is very, very unusual. | ||
| There's something about it. | ||
| Psychedelic drugs actually help neurons in the brain sprout new dendrites, which look like branches on a tree, to increase communication between cells. | ||
| These drugs can increase neural outgrowth. | ||
| They can increase the branching of neurons. | ||
| They can increase your synapses. | ||
| So I would imagine if it can do that, That there's probably some benefit if someone's got something wrong with their mind, and it seems like it's feeding the mind. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, it's worth a try. | ||
| May as well. | ||
| Dude, that's the greatest theory of all time is Terrence McKenna's stoned ape theory. | ||
| They just evolved them? | ||
| I think that's how people became people, that we were primates and we stumbled upon mushrooms and we started eating them and then we became better hunters. | ||
| We got smarter. | ||
| If it does that, doesn't that make sense? | ||
| If you're a monkey and you're eating mushrooms all the time, you probably figure out things. | ||
| I'd like to imagine it happened instantly, where the mushrooms, the monkeys eat it, and then suddenly they're like, what?! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| There's a video on that. | ||
| You just got back? | ||
| Like, yeah, what the fuck? | ||
| There's a video. | ||
| Although no one I know who takes... | ||
| Yeah, this dude Bob Seska, he made a video. | ||
| Nobody I know who takes tons and tons of mushrooms, though, seems like they're evolving. | ||
| Yeah, true. | ||
| No, that's a very good point. | ||
| Their fashion stops changing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They never seem like, no, dude, I'm above you. | |
| You gotta help. | ||
| Do you know what? | ||
| You have it already? | ||
| Oh, that's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| That's a very good likeness of you, Joe. | ||
| That's not it. | ||
| I'll find it. | ||
| I'm sorry, Jamie. | ||
| I'll find it. | ||
| Talk amongst yourselves. | ||
| Well, we got Big J's special coming out right now. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Dog belly. | ||
| Coming out right now. | ||
| How excited are you, Jay? | ||
| I'm so excited. | ||
| Ari came in and showed me everything I would have never known how to do at all in special making. | ||
| That's the funniest when I tell people is that when Ari was like, I'll help you, I was like, alright, so I guess now we start the process of hiring the first of, what, 50 people we have to hire? | ||
| You have zero clue. | ||
| You just gotta hire a producer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, how do you find a lighting guy? | ||
| I'm like, no, we don't. | ||
| Someone else. | ||
| Do I have to go to a boom microphone store? | ||
| Interview them? | ||
| But yeah, Ari walked me through. | ||
| So yeah, I'm pumped, man. | ||
| When was your last one? | ||
| Hold on, we'll talk about it. | ||
| Nope, that's not it. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I have so many videos on my phone. | ||
| I'm such an idiot. | ||
| Oh, I found it. | ||
| I found it. | ||
| I found it. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Bob Seska. | ||
| I actually had him make this back in like... | ||
| Man, I want to say, like, the 90s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It might have been, like, 2000 or something like that, or 2001. And you made it a chimp instantly changing? | |
| Did you get it? | ||
| It's the Stone Dape Theory. | ||
| Like, go full screen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| My name is Steve. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| How dope is that? | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Okay, I fucked up. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| That's not Bob Seska. | ||
| That's not the one he made fun of. | ||
| That's a different one. | ||
| But that one's awesome. | ||
| Who did that? | ||
| Can you find out who made that? | ||
| If that's possible? | ||
| That was on Comedy Central. | ||
| It's funny that it's on Comedy Central, and then the video underneath of it said, like, it was, why the stoned ape theory is bad. | ||
| It was on Comedy Central, first of all. | ||
| Like, relax. | ||
| The Bob Tesco one, now I remember, was different. | ||
| It had, like, aliens and laser beams. | ||
| That one was cool. | ||
| Yeah, do you remember that one? | ||
| No, this one was cool. | ||
| That was dope as fuck, but that was not the one that I had anything to do with. | ||
| But that's Terence McKenna's theory. | ||
| He thinks that they just started eating mushrooms and figuring things out. | ||
| It's backed by climate science. | ||
| Because that was, at the time, there's a giant jump in human brain size. | ||
| Over a period of like two million years, the human brain doubles, which is bananas, apparently. | ||
| And so what it coincides with... | ||
| Tip Tank. | ||
| Trip Tank. | ||
| Trip Tank. | ||
| Stoned Ape Theory. | ||
| But is that just the website that has it hosted? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was a show on... | |
| Oh, that was the show called Trip Tank? | ||
| That fucking thing's awesome. | ||
| So he thinks that... | ||
| This time, this period of two million years, it coincides with these rainforests receding into grasslands. | ||
| And so the food sources change because then there's cows shitting in the grass, and then they're looking for different things to eat, and they flip over cow patties and find bugs and shit to eat. | ||
| They've always done that. | ||
| They think they ate the mushrooms too. | ||
| They tried them. | ||
| And when they ate them, they realized it makes them see better. | ||
| It increases visual acuity in low doses. | ||
| And it also makes you horny. | ||
| It produces synesthesia, which helps cultivate language. | ||
| Dennis McKenna has the best descriptive of it. | ||
| Because he's... | ||
| You know, he's Terence's brother who's like this legit scientist, a genius, and the way he breaks it down, he talks about the way psilocybin interacts with the brain is really perfectly aligned with something that would make the brain grow if primates just kept eating it and evolved into what we are now. | ||
| We might be a combination of like animal and mushroom. | ||
| They say that from another planet. | ||
| Joe, you can't eat them. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| That's what I was going to say. | ||
| You're saying all these beautiful things it does. | ||
| It makes your brain grow. | ||
| What happens to you? | ||
| It's the connective tissue of language. | ||
| And if I eat them, they're just growing. | ||
| The texture and taste. | ||
| nothing to do with all the magic of them get candies no I will that's what I'll do like generally but like it is funny throwing them actually I'll throw them right back up on pure text nothing to do with the poison in them or anything yeah it's dusty I like them they're good taste if I get chicken gristle in my mouth I go gag over a trash can for five minutes. | ||
| I like just the straight mushroom because you know what you're getting too. | ||
| You're not fucking around with some ground up pills that some hippie made. | ||
| That's why I never understand like edibles to me. | ||
| What was it point one or one? | ||
| I had a bit about someone's made like a batch of like, you know weed brownies or something you go well What if all the weeds and how do you fucking possibly know that? | ||
| Yeah, they don't each one's 30 grams. | ||
| You had a bit about the 1x 2x 3x days? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, because I had a bit about the gummy bear when the guy told me take just the leg and I go, what? | ||
| I'm like, why the fuck are you selling whole bears? | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| They were so strong. | ||
| Remember those gummies? | ||
| Those gummies hermanos! | ||
| Bro, they were so strong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they ruled. | |
| They were so strong. | ||
| But that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Is there possibly no weed in the arm? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| No, no, those guys, they had it down. | ||
| Those guys just were trying to kill you. | ||
| Dude, I gave my brother one. | ||
| He wasn't from a legal place. | ||
| And he came to meet me one day, and I gave him, he's like, get me one. | ||
| I'm like, this one, dude. | ||
| So the next day, the whole family, two different families are coming over for Passover or something. | ||
| And the next day, he's like, hey, did you take that gummy back? | ||
| And I'm like, no. | ||
| He goes, oh, shit, I can't find it. | ||
| I'm like, dude, there's like eight seven-year-olds in this house. | ||
| You have to find that gummy right now. | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| One of the kids had it and he was hiding it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He had it and he was hiding it. | ||
| Imagine if he just ate it. | ||
| Thank god he was a little hoarder. | ||
| That's a nice way of calling us Jews. | ||
| I've never gotten the kind of high from like edibles or weed though that's like... | ||
| Edibles, you haven't? | ||
| Pallucinogenic, almost. | ||
| No, I mean, do you remember when you gave Ralph Sutton, my co-host on SDR Show? | ||
| He's Lewis's co-owner of Gas Digital. | ||
| Ralph, he took one of the stars. | ||
| Oh, yeah, stars of death. | ||
| That you gave him. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| And he went home and was like... | ||
| But the description of something where he was like, I felt like I was on a reality show, I thought there were cameras watching me, and I'm like, from fucking weed stuff? | ||
| You ever see the video when Joey Diaz doses Owen Benjamin on the show with it? | ||
| Owen loses it, dude. | ||
| It was epic. | ||
| Yeah, Joey made a video like, I cracked him! | ||
| Is that what sent him into the woods? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Maybe, maybe. | ||
| Those are strong doses. | ||
| Joey, look, there's a real thing with that. | ||
| You know, Alex Berenson wrote a book called Tell Your Children, and it's all about instances of psychotic breaks and schizophrenic breaks from people that are heavy marijuana users. | ||
| There's like a something that happens to some people Where maybe they have a tendency to schizophrenia or maybe a tendency. | ||
| I think it's that, yeah. | ||
| Genetic predisposition or something. | ||
| And then a high dose of weed just pushes them over the edge. | ||
| And I've seen it happen. | ||
| I know people that have lost their shit. | ||
| They're not the same kind anymore. | ||
| And they don't come back? | ||
| They're not coming back. | ||
| They're not coming back. | ||
| Because most of them, they keep smoking it. | ||
| I know one guy who came back. | ||
| One guy came back. | ||
| One guy was like, I'm just watching the FBI. I'm like, dude, you're a fucking middle act. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| But he came back. | ||
| He came back. | ||
| He just stopped smoking weed for a long time. | ||
| And he was one day like, wow, that was pretty crazy shit. | ||
| I can't give any more details. | ||
| But it was, he's alright. | ||
| But I know another guy who came back too. | ||
| You ever talk to Shane Moss about his like... | ||
| That's what I was thinking of. | ||
| I think 30 days, he did what every day? | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then he like covered himself with some mud that wouldn't let the mushrooms breathe out of him. | ||
| And he went to another place. | ||
| I saw him way later and it was like, dude, I know this sounds crazy, but mathematicians are coming up to me telling me that I figured it out. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Realistically, I know. | ||
| But I'm telling you, these mathematicians are telling me I have all the answers. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| He's back now, but like... | ||
| Talking to somebody who's disconnected is... | ||
| Odd. | ||
| It's so odd. | ||
| It's also trying. | ||
| It's funny for a second. | ||
| Not funny, but it's almost amusing for a second how out of it they are. | ||
| And then it's terrifying that that could happen to someone's brain. | ||
| Didn't Huberman just post something? | ||
| Someone told me that, oh, Tulsi Gabbard told me this. | ||
| Huberman just posted something about marijuana in high doses with kids is leading to an alarming number of mental illness problems. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I can see that. | ||
| They're not done developing. | ||
| Yeah, I don't remember what he wrote. | ||
| I didn't read it. | ||
| I had a couple of cocktails. | ||
| I'm listening to a conversation. | ||
| Did you guys smoke or do whatever when you were still growing? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| You didn't for sure, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I did not. | ||
| I had a couple of... | ||
| From age... | ||
| From teenage years to 30 years old, I probably smoked pot five times. | ||
| No, but I mean like 12 to 17. Nothing. | ||
| No, I didn't do anything. | ||
| Yeah, me neither. | ||
| That was the years that I was martial arts, so I very rarely did anything. | ||
| I mean, if I had a beer, I felt guilty. | ||
| My dad smoked pot, and I thought that's why he didn't show up a lot. | ||
| And so I didn't smoke pot until I was in my 20s. | ||
| And then drinking, I just, uh, I had one of those, like, tried a sip young and thought it was so gross that I was like, I couldn't imagine. | ||
| And then also, when you're young, you watch people get drunk, and it's like that rookie drunk where I'm like, I'd rather not be that guy at the party. | ||
| We gotta start teaching our kids how to drink right. | ||
| It's an embarrassment every time. | ||
| Well, it's a thing you do when you make things prohibitive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You prohibit them. | ||
| It's like Catholic school girls. | ||
| When we were kids, they were always the girls that wanted to get with guys the quickest. | ||
| They were just trapped in this world of all girls wearing skirts, no guys around them, and they got out of there, they're like maniacs. | ||
| Everybody knows. | ||
| That kind of suppression doesn't work on people. | ||
| People don't like being told what to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They are the biggest sluts that come from that core group of people. | |
| I wouldn't say it like that. | ||
| I would say those young ladies are hungry for the cock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The world gold stars are from that group. | ||
| Have you ever seen the drinking that the... | ||
| I think the website's called Texas Street Fights? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And it's just essentially... | ||
| It's always on World Star Hip Hop, too. | ||
| Sixth Street is just chock full of gigantic women fighting until their fat guns come out. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And it seems like all the cops do is go in and... | ||
| Like, from a distance, like, pepper spray the group. | ||
| So it's just these women fighting and ass cheeks out. | ||
| And then you see, like, this spray of, like, piss coming in. | ||
| Girl fights. | ||
| Girl fights. | ||
| Look at the rest of them just eating. | ||
| Just wanting to eat there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I don't want to watch this, man. | ||
| These are really good cameras. | ||
| You should have to walk outside once in a while what's happening. | ||
| Is that 6th Street? | ||
| That's why I got the front. | ||
| Over by the... | ||
| I don't like street fights. | ||
| By the highway. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I should like street fights. | ||
| Your head hits the pavement. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| I like the idea of them and then it's very quickly like a reality check where you go, someone could get fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, really fucked up, man. | ||
| It's super dangerous. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| But entertaining. | ||
| It's just booze. | ||
| It's always booze. | ||
| It's definitely coke, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Coke starts that shit. | ||
| Let's not discount coke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just fucking so dumb. | ||
| But people just, when I was here, it was for Moon Tower last time, we were at that burger plate, Pete Harry's, waiting in line, and they're like, that's particularly the outside of that place, this is like a late night spot, that is just always drama going on, and there was like preppy white dudes in some kind of an argument with Latino girls. | ||
| The girls' boyfriends were almost telling... | ||
| The Hispanic guys were almost like, stop. | ||
| Leave it alone. | ||
| Whatever the problem is, the dudes were kind of just over it. | ||
| Like, who cares? | ||
| And the lady just kept cursing out this tall, nerdy kid. | ||
| And then she went over and he was just like, all right, shut up. | ||
| Enough already. | ||
| And she took her phone. | ||
| And I mean, hit him. | ||
| I've never seen something like this happen before. | ||
| She hit him right across the forehead. | ||
| And he was kind of like, it didn't seem like it hurt him that much at first. | ||
| He was like, whoa, hey. | ||
| And then you just saw the line. | ||
| The blood. | ||
| Like, form, yeah. | ||
| So it runs down. | ||
| You're like, yo, she split him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Hard. | ||
| And they drag it. | ||
| And then, but this is what's amazing. | ||
| This is Texas, dude, which I love. | ||
| While that's happening, we're like, oh, shit. | ||
| And we're like, number 68. Oreo milkshake. | ||
| Oreo shake! | ||
| They see it every weekend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, having a girl like that in your life can get you killed. | |
| Dude, my ex-wife, one of our early dates. | ||
| Or get you put in jail for killing somebody, like one of those guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We went outside, me and Lister and Cantor were out there, and we saw a guy holding a purse and a girl trying to wrestle it from him. | ||
| And then Cantor's like, we gotta go out and say something. | ||
| And so we went out, they were like, ma'am, are you alright? | ||
| She goes, mind your own fucking business! | ||
| And then Cantor's like, dude, she's gonna get you killed. | ||
| And then we just walked back in. | ||
| Who said you should do that? | ||
| I stayed inside. | ||
| Unless it gets violent, I'm not doing shit. | ||
| Just screaming and arguing because they'll go after you. | ||
| That's what cops always say. | ||
| Almost 100% of the time. | ||
| Yeah, to be that guy, I don't think I've done it, but I've definitely watched it backfire quick. | ||
| It's fucking dangerous. | ||
| It's like, hey dude, I think the lady wants to be left alone. | ||
| And she's like, fuck off! | ||
| That's what cops say. | ||
| Cops say when they show up, sometimes the women will attack them. | ||
| We're fighting. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking scary. | ||
| I was just wearing them out. | ||
| I was getting ready to take the late rounds. | ||
| People lose their fucking minds when they fight with each other. | ||
| The cops always say that the scariest thing is going to a domestic case. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's the most emotion, yeah. | ||
| Both of them are fucking drunk. | ||
| Someone's got a gun. | ||
| Guy runs into the room. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck to do. | ||
| You're a cop. | ||
| You're standing there. | ||
| The guy comes out with the gun. | ||
| Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Do you shoot him? | ||
| Like, what are you doing here? | ||
| See, I think the fear of that situation, though. | ||
| How scary is that? | ||
| Because he's so enraged because of his fucking wife. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And you're a cop. | ||
| You've got to fucking assess this, like, instantaneously. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| You know... | ||
| You get some information from the phone, right? | ||
| On the way in, the office tells you. | ||
| But once you get there, like, fuck. | ||
| I'd lay everybody on the floor instantly, every time, no matter what. | ||
| Get on your fucking face. | ||
| Get on your fucking face right now. | ||
| That's the Israeli in them. | ||
| Clear every room, and then be like, alright, now let's talk. | ||
| Navy SEAL style. | ||
| Yep, exactly. | ||
| Take no chances. | ||
| Well, you'd kill a lot more people that way. | ||
| By doing that? | ||
| Yeah, for sure, because people would definitely... | ||
| Fight back on their back. | ||
| Some people can calm people down. | ||
| Some people can calm people down. | ||
| I'm not that guy. | ||
| But some people you can't calm down. | ||
| Some people, like, you can get into some guys on PCP and they're fucking full rage. | ||
| When you're holding a gun on them, they don't give a shit. | ||
| Yeah, wow. | ||
| You're not going to be able to calm them down. | ||
| Well, some people also want to die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| There's that. | ||
| And, like, they want to die by cop. | ||
| That's a real thing, too. | ||
| Suicide by cop. | ||
| Yeah, it's a real thing. | ||
| It's grand. | ||
| Yeah, they give it to him, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They give it to him. | ||
| I mean, and for the cop, the cop's got to deal with that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's funny when, uh, man, I forget what it was I was watching years ago. | ||
| It was a guy that was trying to do that. | ||
| Suicide by cop. | ||
| And they had, uh, it wasn't even, like, in America, they had a sniper. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Like, a rooftop away across the street or something. | ||
| And he was describing, like, when the guy was holding the gun, and he kept, like, he just noticed that he mimicked emotion more than once. | ||
| Like, kind of naturally, he kept doing the same thing with the gun. | ||
| And, like, the fourth time he raised the gun up, he shoots the gun out of his hand. | ||
| And then the guy just goes and, like, lays down. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
| Oh, I saw that. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| He wanted to die, but when that guy showed up his hands, he just realized how he's like, holy shit! | ||
| What the fuck just happened? | ||
| You don't even know what you're asking for. | ||
| That kind of a skill is... | ||
| What a shot! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He's like, I might as well just try it. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Oh, that guy's prone, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Oh, jeez, he shot it right out of his fucking hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the f... | |
| Mikey McKiernan? | ||
| He looks like... | ||
| Shot it right out of his hand. | ||
| That guy's so lucky. | ||
| He has fingers. | ||
| He's lucky in every way, shape, and... | ||
| That guy should play the lottery right after that. | ||
| You're a lucky bitch. | ||
| You should be dead. | ||
| You shouldn't have any fingers. | ||
| If it was Dog the Bounty Hunter arresting him, he would have let him get some lottery tickets. | ||
| Stop on the way home. | ||
| Is that what he does with people? | ||
| He would hold their cigarette for them while they smoke, handcuffed. | ||
| Oh, would he really? | ||
| Talk to them about God. | ||
| He'd let them look at his wife's big fat titties. | ||
| Big fat ones. | ||
| Rest in peace with those big fat titties. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, she's dead? | |
| Yeah, I think he's already moved on to another chick. | ||
| What do you want him to do? | ||
| Wait? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's Dog the Bounty Hunter. | ||
| That's awesome, though. | ||
| First of all, she was awesome. | ||
| How old is that guy? | ||
| How old's Dog? | ||
| Probably close to 70. Yeah, I mean, it's a hard life. | ||
| You're fucking banging on doors, getting fugitives. | ||
| Every day is a risk. | ||
| I can't believe for the, let's say, class of people they were, that there's not a loose picture of Beth Chapman's titties in the world at all. | ||
| He's 70. The dude's 70. Look at him with his hair, with the sunglasses. | ||
| What an amazing picture. | ||
| He never lost that fucking hair. | ||
| That is such an American person. | ||
| Oh my lord. | ||
| I mean, Doc the Bounty Hunter might be the most American guy that's ever lived. | ||
| Look at the gold chain hanging from his neck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Oakleys. | |
| The Oakleys. | ||
| He's got a red flare chest. | ||
| The bleach blonde, long ass, beautiful hair for an old dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful hair. | |
| For an old dude, I mean, he's got some rocker hair from the 80s. | ||
| Red skin. | ||
| He's got some poison hair. | ||
| Look at his skin. | ||
| Leather. | ||
| Leathery. | ||
| Fuck your sunscreen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dog the bounty hunter has never even touched sunscreen. | |
| It's got chemicals in it. | ||
| That dude is just taking sun in the mug. | ||
| What was the recent crime that he jumped in on, put his name out there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Was it Petito? | ||
| He was looking for the kid who was missing in Florida with a girlfriend. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The guy, the van life. | ||
| The van life couple. | ||
| They want to kill her and kill themselves? | ||
| No. | ||
| They just show news, and it's just Dog the Bounty Hunter knocking on doors with a piece of paper. | ||
| Like, have you seen this? | ||
| He just went solo, boots to the ground. | ||
| In America somewhere? | ||
| With the cameras conveniently knowing where he was? | ||
| We'll find out. | ||
| What are the odds that they know where he is? | ||
| Just exactly in the middle of a city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does it say? | |
| He's knocking on doors. | ||
| He goes, do you know this guy? | ||
| He goes, yeah, everyone does. | ||
| He's on the news. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was a scary case. | ||
| Which one was that? | ||
| They got pulled over by the cops, and they had been in some sort of a domestic squabble. | ||
| Again, domestic fights, right? | ||
| Squabble's a great word. | ||
| I don't know what the details were of it, but the cops let them go. | ||
| Well, in the rarest of situations... | ||
| And then they did what? | ||
| I'm saying, but in the rarest of situations, they... | ||
| I don't think this happens a lot, but the girl was crying and telling her story, and then the guy was telling his side of the story, like, behind the thing with the cops, and the cops were definitely, like, more on his world of, like, it's chicks, right? | ||
| I mean, we're in small spaces, you know, they act, and he's like, yeah, sure. | ||
| I mean, they're not... | ||
| I don't want to sandbag the cops and say, but it is, like, for whatever's going on, she was... | ||
| Hyper emotional and screaming and crying and he was like kind of like bickering about whatever you know this this and then they just they let him go and then what they do probably a sociopath right yeah yeah he probably figured out how to con the cops and he killed her he killed her right after yeah he killed her and then either he killed himself it's it's hard to know because I think like the alligators got to him Oh, shit. | ||
| I think when they found his body, he had been consumed. | ||
| Oh, yeah, he was all... | ||
| Yeah, I think some things had consumed him. | ||
| It might be pigs, too. | ||
| There's a lot of wild pigs out there. | ||
| But the pigs will eat everything. | ||
| They'll eat your bones, man. | ||
| They'll eat everything. | ||
| If you leave a body where pigs are, that's the thing about Snatch. | ||
| We had a forensic psychologist on Kill Tony yesterday. | ||
| We asked him if that was a good way to kill people. | ||
| The remains were described as skeletal. | ||
| We're confirmed using dental records. | ||
| Oh, Brian Laundrie. | ||
| That's a different one. | ||
| No, that's the guy. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| Oh, that's the Brian Laundrie. | ||
| Yeah, that's the guy. | ||
| So he was consumed. | ||
| So it probably wasn't pigs. | ||
| It was probably rats. | ||
| He was found. | ||
| No, gators would swallow you whole. | ||
| Yeah, good point. | ||
| He was found, dare I say, through no help of Dog the Bounty Hunter. | ||
| Yeah, remember when they couldn't find him? | ||
| There was a national manhunt on for him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was just out in the woods. | ||
| The Everglades are so crazy. | ||
| Do you know the Everglades, 99% of all the mammals are missing? | ||
| Really? | ||
| 99%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I went... | ||
| You know how when you're driving on the highway, you'll stop like there's a green belt or some hike or something? | ||
| So I did that at a rest stop. | ||
| In Florida, though, driving across the state. | ||
| And to go into the woods, you have to open up a giant gate that's like 20 feet high, then a barrier, like the Berlin Wall, then another 20 foot high fence, and you go in, and there's like a path and a sign, and it said like, don't do this alone. | ||
| There's fucking panthers everywhere. | ||
| So you have to be with somebody, and then I just turn around and left. | ||
| So they're probably thriving, but they need stuff to eat. | ||
| And the problem is, everything's been killed by pythons. | ||
| There's a half a million pythons. | ||
| That are in the Everglades right now. | ||
| And there's also people spotted Nile crocodiles. | ||
| They don't think that Nile crocodiles are a breeding pair. | ||
| They think somebody might have had one and let it loose. | ||
| And if that's the case, it survived. | ||
| But if they have a shoot on site, like if you see Nile crocodiles start popping, they get 20 feet long and they eat fucking zebras. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Well, they show those things that are walking across golf courses and stuff. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| These are way scarier. | ||
| Because crocodiles will eat you. | ||
| Alligators will leave you the fuck alone for the most part. | ||
| They could eat you. | ||
| They might eat you if you're swimming. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But crocodiles will go after you. | ||
| Like, they eat people. | ||
| Like, crocodiles in Africa, the Nile crocodiles that we're talking about, my friend Jim Shockey, he's a professional hunter, they sent him To Africa to kill these crocodiles because they were killing so many villagers. | ||
| Everyone in the villager was like missing a hand. | ||
| Is that the one where the boat turns over? | ||
| Is those crocodiles in the boat and they just keep pulling the boat down? | ||
| That was the guy in a kayak. | ||
| Yeah, that was in some magazine, that story. | ||
| 45 years old. | ||
| He just got along and then it flips it over. | ||
| Yeah, the crocodile swam up to the kayak, flipped it over and pulled him out of the kayak and swallowed him whole. | ||
| But what else? | ||
| Legs were still in there, he was pulling it out. | ||
| The kayak just keeps sinking as he's being chewed alive. | ||
| Bro, they are monsters. | ||
| They are monsters. | ||
| And here's the crazy thing. | ||
| The pythons are such monsters that they're eating the alligators. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Duh. | |
| Pythons, they found a dead python with a 12-foot alligator inside of its body. | ||
| Oh, I just saw that. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| I don't know how big the allergy was. | ||
| I might have exaggerated the size of the allergy. | ||
| It's a good place to get rid of a body, the Glades. | ||
| That's where those kids from that Bully movie, the true story of that, they dumped in the Everglades. | ||
| And the only reason they got caught was because they were young, dumb teenagers who just kept telling people. | ||
| No, they just kept telling people. | ||
| Like one person would go, he goes, alright, don't tell anybody else, but like, we all killed the bully yesterday. | ||
| Of course they did. | ||
| And they couldn't stop telling. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| That movie is made by that Larry Clark guy who makes all of the... | ||
| Gummo? | ||
| Yes, like Gummo, those kind of Harmony Corrine type guys. | ||
| They make all those shitty kid movies. | ||
| And so the movie's made to be... | ||
| It's very sexually explicit. | ||
| It's a very attractive cast. | ||
| And then when you look into the story at all and they show it, it's like a fat Samoan guy. | ||
| Everyone's like a Florida pig that they thought they were going to be. | ||
| I'm like, what are all these sexy kids fucking and killing each other for? | ||
| And they're just all just outcast awful looking people. | ||
| Yeah, the ones who have no other options. | ||
| This is my friend group. | ||
| That's so interesting. | ||
| Michael Pitt was a character in that, that handsome little son of a bitch, Bijou Phillips, Rachel Minor. | ||
| That's always weird when they have a movie and you see what the real person looked like and then you see them. | ||
| Like when, what's her face, Catherine Zeta-Jones played Giselda Blanco. | ||
| Giselle DeBlanco, you know, the cocaine queen, that crazy bitch from... | ||
| The Godmother or whatever they call you. | ||
| Yeah, she was terrifying. | ||
| She was in those cocaine cowboys documentaries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When then you see Catherine Zeta-Jones, perfect, hot as the fucking sun playing her. | ||
| How about they couldn't... | ||
| They do that scream where it just switches right at the end of blow. | ||
| They couldn't... | ||
| With movie makeup... | ||
| And all the time in the world, they couldn't make Johnny Depp as ugly as George Young. | ||
| They just couldn't do it. | ||
| He shines through everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's too perfect. | |
| Somebody saw that in movie theaters, and they went to that picture of him. | ||
| Somebody went, throw mama from the train. | ||
| And then they realized he does absolutely look like throw mama from the train. | ||
| Mama Fratelli. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| He was really crazy. | ||
| And again, he was gorgeous Johnny Depp the whole movie. | ||
| Remember when they got that hot lady to play Monster? | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| Charlize Theron. | ||
| Do you think the rest of Hollywood is like, can you just hire one of the ugly ones? | ||
| No one fights for the ugly people to get their roles. | ||
| Why are you hiring pretties to play our roles? | ||
| She has to get gross to do this. | ||
| Who's it put on the movie for the Dark Knight, not the Dark Knight, the Batman, the new Batman? | ||
| Was it Colin Farrell, that handsome fella? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The penguin? | |
| Yeah, see what they did with him? | ||
| Well, that's a good one, but Charlize Theron actually turned herself ugly for that movie. | ||
| She's hot as fuck! | ||
| She's hot as fuck. | ||
| I've seen her in real life. | ||
| She's fucking hot. | ||
| And she decided to gain like a hundred pounds or whatever the fuck it is and shave her eyebrows off and make herself look like shit. | ||
| What did I ask you to look up? | ||
| Yeah, this guy. | ||
| Say he played the penguin. | ||
| He's a handsome fella. | ||
| And they put some crazy shit on him and got rid of his hair and made his face prosthetic, give him like a fat face. | ||
| Like, that's him in the penguin. | ||
| I mean, he don't look anything like himself. | ||
| That's just prosthetics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Charlize Theron just did it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Big difference. | ||
| Big difference. | ||
| Those people that do that, like, for a movie... | ||
| The Machinist, when he got to become, like, an anorexic? | ||
| Damn! | ||
| It's killing Tom Hanks. | ||
| He has, like, does he have, like, bad diabetes and shit from doing that? | ||
| From what? | ||
| I think from, like, jumping up and down weights for characters. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I heard he got AIDS in Philadelphia. | ||
| No, that's not true, Ari. | ||
| Not the movie, just in the city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That place is teeming with AIDS. Yeah, he had a bad cheesesteak. | |
| It was influential. | ||
| What is, uh... | ||
| What were we just Googling? | ||
| Whether or not Tom Hanks really has diabetes. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'd say kidney problems, maybe. | |
| I think his health has been like... | ||
| Oh, he has a family history of diabetes. | ||
| So, he's always had it. | ||
| Did he go up and down for roles a lot? | ||
| He would be thinner, yeah, for sure. | ||
| I mean, like, especially, he was a little older when he did, like, Cast Away and had to get, like, gaunt. | ||
| Well, I know McConaughey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| And he's been, like, happy, yeah. | ||
| When McConaughey did Dallas Buyer's Club, he got fucked up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That hurt him. | ||
| Yeah, that hurt him. | ||
| He had a hard time, like, recovering from that. | ||
| Like, you're basically on death's door. | ||
| You know, you're letting your body eat itself. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| People don't realize how scary that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, for a person to do that for a movie, like, It's so inconsequential, really. | |
| Just to entertain people for two hours. | ||
| Like what Homeboy did with The Machinist, Christian Bale. | ||
| He got to death's door, man. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That was a wild one. | ||
| He looked so bad. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| He looked even worse than McConaughey did in Dallas Buyers Club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was easy to take his shirt off and it was all spindly like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he came and played Batman like six months later. | ||
| He got on the song. | ||
| Well, I mean, that was after American Psycho, where he was, like, jacked. | ||
| Jacked, yeah. | ||
| But it's just that image of him in The Machinist, like, where his arms are splayed by a bird. | ||
| He was so anorexic. | ||
| Yeah, that one. | ||
| Like, dude, he looks like he's on death's door. | ||
| Like, that looks like a person who's been starved in a concentration camp. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He must have been so proud of himself when he was doing that suck-in thing. | ||
| It's very crazy to do. | ||
| He seems to be okay with it, but like I said, I know McConaughey really got hurt from Dallas Buyers Club. | ||
| He had a really hard time getting back from that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| It's not a joke, man. | ||
| Your body's eating itself. | ||
| Like, to do that for a movie. | ||
| So it's one thing to get fat. | ||
| Like, Mark Wahlberg got fat for a movie recently. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he just ate, like, fucking 30,000 calories a day, and he gained 30 pounds, big gut. | ||
| But then he lost it again. | ||
| See that SNL sketch? | ||
| Not good for you, but it's still probably better for you than almost dying of starvation. | ||
| I'd rather be that. | ||
| He's obviously a very disciplined guy. | ||
| He's going to lose the weight and get back. | ||
| Also, he's not that bad. | ||
| But it's not as dangerous. | ||
| Does he have a third nipple? | ||
| It's not good, though. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| I think he has a third nipple. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a third nipple. | ||
| No, it's a mole, you fucking... | ||
| No, I think it's a third nipple. | ||
| It's got an aerial. | ||
| When it's got the little white in the middle. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| It's a third nipple. | ||
| I had a friend in high school, same thing. | ||
| This is a conspiracy theory that is unfounded. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| I bet someone has said that before. | ||
| Unfounded conspiracy theories. | ||
| We've had the proof. | ||
| We cannot have those. | ||
| We saw the proof. | ||
| Does Donnie have the same third nipple? | ||
| Is this a thing in the family? | ||
| Is that what Wahlbergers mean? | ||
| That's a third nipple for sure. | ||
| This guy's got a third nipple. | ||
| It is a third nipple. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Did you already know this? | ||
| Good find. | ||
| Mark Wahlberg, third nipple. | ||
| You knew. | ||
| No, I saw it. | ||
| You just saw it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Would you assume that a vain man would get that removed or maybe that's the best one to suck on? | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| The most sensitive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe that little one is wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The god nipple. | ||
| Oh, look at a clit nipple. | ||
| It tells the future. | ||
| Yeah, that one's the one. | ||
| Just rub it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rub it. | |
| It's like when the teacher put his thumb on their head and made him go to excess. | ||
| Just tweak that one nipple. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I wonder if a third one has nipple reaction, like the tightening of the areole and the loosening up. | ||
| Why is it never a full nipple? | ||
| It's always just like leftover. | ||
| Right, like an extra finger is not like the biggest finger. | ||
| The Danny DeVito nipple. | ||
| If you have two thumbs. | ||
| How would you know which one it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, yeah, maybe like, no, no, this is the fake nipple. | ||
| This was my second. | ||
| You know, if you lose a pinky, you lose like the majority of the power in your hand. | ||
| Like a large amount. | ||
| I think it's something like 50% of the strength of your hand. | ||
| Imagine how strong you'd be if you had all index fingers. | ||
| All index in this finger. | ||
| Like, this is a bitch-ass finger. | ||
| And it takes away 50% of your power. | ||
| This little finger works out all the fucking time. | ||
| It's still weak as fuck. | ||
| Look at this little bitch. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| It's only good for making you look gay while you drink, too. | ||
| These fingers are strong as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that's, like, imagine if you had a hand of only these fingers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what is this pinky doing? | ||
| How close are we to that? | ||
| Like, is it, am I using that very often? | ||
| Do I need a dainty, I can do dainty shit with these. | ||
| Why do I have a dainty little bitch-ass finger? | ||
| It makes the base of my wiener feel thick. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Use. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Use. | |
| There you go. | ||
| I try to flip a break. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| For guys who jerk off like this. | ||
| For propagation of the, yeah. | ||
| The taper down effect. | ||
| Gentle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're a gentleman, you jerk off like you're drinking tea. | ||
| With a pinky out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember when this was the worst social thing you could do by accident? | ||
| Have a pinky out? | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Your friends would mock you. | ||
| We saw him! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think that might be just us. | ||
| If regular guys are drinking coffee, I bet they do this all the time. | ||
| They don't even think about it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They don't think someone's gonna jump all over them and mock them. | ||
| Why would that be a problem? | ||
| The comedian Pete Dominick told me a story years ago in Vegas about I don't know if it was somebody finding out that somebody else in the school jerked off different than everybody or him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was like... | ||
| But you know the rumor, those bullshit rumors that go around every school? | ||
| Some girl had a dog, eat her pussy, and someone jerked off in school or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This was the whatever got caught jerking off in school, whoever the kid was. | ||
| And when everyone was making fun of him, they're like, ah, you see, Steve was jerking off in school. | ||
| And he said, one kid was like, yeah, Steve, you were jerking off. | ||
| And he goes, that's when everyone just goes, hang on, Steve. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| What? | ||
| He was doing what? | ||
| What is this knuckles up thing you're doing, you fucking weirdo? | ||
| That's how you find out. | ||
| He goes, ah, you guys are jerking off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, nah, nah. | |
| He was on top one second, on the bottom of the next second. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Isn't that funny that we'll judge someone on the method they use to jerk off? | ||
| Yeah, like you're out of the group. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| How weird is it that this bothers you? | ||
| Yeah, because you don't jerk off with anybody. | ||
| Why should it even matter? | ||
| It seems like hyper-aggressive, like, ah. | ||
| I've seen it in pornography and it bothers me. | ||
| And I say, he's doing it wrong, which isn't true. | ||
| But if it works, that was a good choice. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| To get you there, I'm like, nah, you don't even know the sweet, pure pleasure of going the other way. | ||
| It's like a guy who's got an unorthodox pitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or also, though, he might like his pressure low. | ||
| Because, again, we're talking about the pinky finger versus the ring finger. | ||
| No, they would just lay off. | ||
| How low are we talking about? | ||
| I feel like if you're doing it this way, you're more fucking a hole that's empty on the other side, where you can fuck the full pussy of your fist the other direction. | ||
| You could also just be like rubbing the dick against your hand, no pressure, for slower. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Is it crazy to enjoy what you're doing? | ||
| No, what you're doing is crazy. | ||
| Like you're cradling it. | ||
| Yeah, you're cradling. | ||
| Just, you know, that's what Rock the Cradle of Love was about. | ||
| I've heard stories of guys who their jerk off is to fuck their own thigh in bed, basically. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| That was me when I was little. | ||
| I would just rub it against my jeans. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Is that the restrict act? | ||
| They're going to get us for spreading bad information? | ||
| That's bad information. | ||
| What if they take away that act? | ||
| Imagine if that fucking act passes through and they go through old podcasts. | ||
| Everybody's going to jail. | ||
| Oh boy, I'm fucked. | ||
| Everyone's going to jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you said anything negative about a candidate. | ||
| Anything negative about the government. | ||
| Because it's still up, so it's still doing the thing. | ||
| Yeah, the whole thing is spooky, man. | ||
| It's spooky that they just keep wanting more and more control. | ||
| It's just like we were talking about with cult leaders. | ||
| It starts off, they're kind of okay, and then after a while they go crazy, and then they push it to see how far they can do it. | ||
| I think that's a pattern with human beings. | ||
| I think that's a pattern in the government. | ||
| I think that's a pattern in cults. | ||
| Comedy Central used to do that when they were like, hey, this material, we own the material forever, not just the recording. | ||
| And then you'd have to go, no, and they're like, okay, well, we had to ask. | ||
| We had to try. | ||
| Yeah, and it's like, why even try? | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| The problem is you're an artist, and when you mix art with business, stuff gets very slippery. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| I don't know how to do any of it. | ||
| Yeah, you're pretty much useless with that. | ||
| Yeah, but it's also one of the reasons why you're so fucking funny. | ||
| I think it all goes together, man. | ||
| I don't think those people that are really good at crunching numbers are the funniest folks. | ||
| You should have seen this. | ||
| It was like, Jay, I need your notes on this edit. | ||
| And he's like, okay, well, I've got to see my daughter tomorrow. | ||
| I was like, Jay, put it on and watch it now! | ||
| I did not want to watch it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You didn't want to do anything. | ||
| I did not want to watch it. | ||
| Sometimes on the edits, it doesn't matter now. | ||
| It's out now and I've seen it and I'm very happy with it. | ||
| But sometimes I go, we need your notes on the edits. | ||
| And I'd go, and then I'd go to click the email and watch it again. | ||
| And I would see Ari's copious notes. | ||
| His wonderful notes. | ||
| And I would go... | ||
| I'm almost one at random. | ||
| I go, I don't know how I feel about his third note, but I pretty much agree with all... | ||
| I was going to call you guys, but it's all pretty much that. | ||
| Yeah, let a friend edit it. | ||
| That's a good move, actually. | ||
| He did, eventually. | ||
| Someone who's a good editor, let a friend edit it. | ||
| Yeah, we got Cotter to edit it. | ||
| Not a bad idea. | ||
| He was right on everything you say when he'd go, I don't know about this. | ||
| And I'd go, sure. | ||
| You know better than I do. | ||
| Like, let's do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we set the club up so that he could film there all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which is great. | |
| We set the club up so there's three angles in every room. | ||
| There'd be a lot of specials. | ||
| Yeah, that's the goal. | ||
| The goal is, like, to let people, like, look, everybody knows now, and Ari, you're a great testament to that. | ||
| You need one fucking banging special on YouTube and then you're off to the races. | ||
| People can see it. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
| Everyone hears everybody on podcasts. | ||
| Matt Edgar says this. | ||
| You introduce a friend on a podcast. | ||
| Hey, he's a really funny guy, a really funny guy. | ||
| And then you're at home going, can you prove that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is there any proof of that out there? | ||
| Well, at a certain point, they trust you. | ||
| Like, I've never lied once. | ||
| Like, I've had a lot of people that I really... | ||
| I like them, but they're just not that funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I just can't... | ||
| I can't help you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| That's a tough thing in doing comedy as long as I have is seeing somebody... | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| ...who's seeing somebody, especially when you like them and like a friend, you're like, oh, I don't know if you have the basic... | ||
| No. | ||
| Because even people... | ||
| Basic what? | ||
| Like habit? | ||
| A good example, I've been doing comedy longer than Lewis and Dave from Skanks. | ||
| But when I was, you know, whatever, eight years in and they were just starting... | ||
| Someone's going hard. | ||
| I'd watch them. | ||
| When it was eight years in, I'd watch them and... | ||
| They were funny on stage, but I saw their lack of experience, wasn't it? | ||
| But I could see right away. | ||
| I'm like, no, you guys have like... | ||
| You know what you're doing. | ||
| I wasn't worried about them. | ||
| I was like, you guys are going to be fine. | ||
| You're a very funny guy. | ||
| I don't know what level they go to necessarily, but I was like, you'll be around comedy. | ||
| You're not a lunatic. | ||
| Yeah, and then there's some people where you're like, damn, I love this guy. | ||
| Then you watch them and you go, oh... | ||
| Zero chance. | ||
| He's such a nice person. | ||
| There's a bunch of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, this hurts. | |
| It's unfortunate, you know, because sometimes you become friends with them before you see their set. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you see them and they want to come on your podcast or they want to, you know, hey, you know, I know you're doing a show in Minneapolis. | ||
| I'm actually from there. | ||
| I'd love to open for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've got a problem. | ||
| I'm already there. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You kind of have to have a real conversation with them. | ||
| Otherwise, it's going to keep coming up. | ||
| But you've got to kind of figure out a way to say it in a way that's... | ||
| Fortunately, I haven't had to do that to too many people. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not that person at all. | ||
| Just take it. | ||
| I'll absolutely take it. | ||
| I never asked someone if I could go with them on the road. | ||
| I never did. | ||
| And all the guys that I took on the road with me, I asked. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I was like a doorman. | ||
| He was a dude that I knew at the club that was just starting out and I knew he had potential. | ||
| I would see his late night sets and every now and then he'd hit a spark and I'd be like, ah! | ||
| It was just like you were figuring it out. | ||
| And then I took you to Denver one time and you fucking murdered. | ||
| That was my first road thing. | ||
| Murdered. | ||
| It was the first time Ari was ever in front of 350 people who were so happy to see a show. | ||
| It was like, what the fuck is comedy? | ||
| And he murdered. | ||
| He murdered. | ||
| That's a high bar set. | ||
| Everybody shows up at Comedy Works and they're like, it's my first show. | ||
| I'm like, oh, they won't be as good as this. | ||
| Well, you had been running with weights on, right? | ||
| Because you'd been doing those late night spots where if you're a beginner and you're going on after like five killers in a row, the audience just leaves. | ||
| Like big chunks of them leave and you get this like dead sort of crap. | ||
| All my New York chops are. | ||
| I followed Dave Attell. | ||
| I said I followed Dave Attell at the Comedy Cellar for 10 years straight, 12 years straight. | ||
| Every night, pretty much. | ||
| That's the only way. | ||
| But it's funny you almost say the same thing. | ||
| It was like Attell asked me if I wanted to go on the road with him and start doing stuff. | ||
| And then he would call me to... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would feel weird to go, hey, can I do whatever with him? | ||
| I would never ask anybody. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| You can't ask. | ||
| Someone will ask you. | ||
| If you ask, it becomes a thing. | ||
| And now someone's not hiring you because they want to, they're hiring you because you asked. | ||
| I mean, it's not like we don't know you're a professional comedian. | ||
| If you ever need anybody is a funny one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many people can you take on the road? | |
| I can't find a comic? | ||
| What do you mean, if I ever need one? | ||
| Also worked at John Carden's a comic from here in Austin. | ||
| He was in Phoenix before this, and he opened for me one time there. | ||
| We've never lived in the same state or anything, but he's on the road with me a ton. | ||
| That weekend... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He does a killer job. | ||
| I'm happy to promote him. | ||
| It's like going on vacation with someone. | ||
| I want to go on vacation with you. | ||
| We go on vacation, we're gonna have a good time. | ||
| If you and I just went to Maui and just fucking drank piña coladas and fucked around the ocean, we'd have a great time. | ||
| We'd have laughs all day long. | ||
| But not all comics. | ||
| Like some comics you went to Maui with, you're like, yeah, man, I'm gonna go to the gym. | ||
| You'd be in your room watching fucking Netflix. | ||
| Just waiting. | ||
| In paradise, going, ugh. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like some people you don't want to talk to. | ||
| We went to Anchorage for four days and we did our show. | ||
| Yeah, we had a great fucking time. | ||
| We went fishing. | ||
| We hung around. | ||
| We did a fun show, though. | ||
| It was fun show. | ||
| I think we had two shows. | ||
| Did we have two shows? | ||
| Maybe two in one night. | ||
| Yeah, because we waited enough. | ||
| No, it was another place. | ||
| We waited in a turned-out bus in between shows. | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| They were like robust people. | ||
| Like I was impressed with them. | ||
| Like everyone had character. | ||
| It was very interesting. | ||
| Anchorage is wild. | ||
| Like the level of character that the average guy has in Anchorage is above normal. | ||
| Because they're around fucking moose and bears and it's frozen half the year. | ||
| They all carry candles in their car? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because if it goes off they gotta light that and keep it alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blankets and candles. | |
| You keep blankets and candles in your car. | ||
| Fuck, no way. | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| That was one of the first places that Chilcoo Charlie's out there that would headline me every year. | ||
| So before I was almost going anywhere in the lower 48, I was a regular there. | ||
| Every year I would go, they would have me. | ||
| I loved that place. | ||
| I love Alaska. | ||
| The chaos of that particular place, Chilcoo Charlie's, was insane. | ||
| It was like a powder keg. | ||
| That never went off. | ||
| It was a hip-hop room, an electronic dance club upstairs. | ||
| Downstairs, like a honky-tonk band. | ||
| And then they have another room that might have a pretty big actual metal band. | ||
| I think Godsmack had played there at one point. | ||
| It's like a couple hundred people. | ||
| And it looked like a log cabin from outside. | ||
| Very unassuming. | ||
| One of my favorite guys I ever interviewed on the show was this guy John Reeves, who owns a place called The Bone Yard in Alaska. | ||
| And this place in Alaska is this one spot that, for whatever reason, has tons and tons of bones. | ||
| Giant woolly mammoth tusks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They've found animals from that area that weren't even supposed to be living there. | ||
| These different fucking lions and cats and bears and all these... | ||
| I mean, insane amounts. | ||
| And it's a small area. | ||
| It's just a few acres. | ||
| And he's got other areas on his... | ||
| He has an enormous property. | ||
| He's like a mining guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Very wealthy, but like, down to earth. | ||
| Like a regular dude. | ||
| Smoked cigarettes on the podcast. | ||
| Fun fucking dude. | ||
| So he tells a story about how they dumped a bunch of fossils in the East River because they didn't have any storage from them. | ||
| Fossils that came from his land. | ||
| And so he was trying to get it back, and he got all this paperwork that shows where it was dumped. | ||
| So then he gives it out to the internet on the podcast. | ||
| So then these guys start swimming around in the fucking river, in the East River, and one of them finds a steppe bison jawbone. | ||
| So it's proof that some of that stuff did get into the East River. | ||
| At least that piece did. | ||
| So this guy finds it diving, looking around the bottom of the East River in that fucking toxic river. | ||
| It's his. | ||
| And they pull out this thing. | ||
| So he pulls out this thing. | ||
| Ew, his lips are exposing that shit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| His lips. | ||
| Well, he had the scuba thing on before. | ||
| See, he's got the thing that goes on his mouth. | ||
| He took it off when he got out of the water, but that's a step bison jawbone. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| How am I unassuming, by the way? | ||
| I would be like... | ||
| Well, that's a piece of it. | ||
| This isn't money. | ||
| It looks like when you see the full version, that lady has it in her hand. | ||
| So what does that mean, that it's there? | ||
| See the full version, that lady has it in her hand. | ||
| That's what it looks like when it's fully connected. | ||
| So that was a deceased bison's jawbone. | ||
| So they have a shit ton of those out in this boneyard. | ||
| And this is something that they found in the East River. | ||
| So his story, it seems at least to be proved correct, that someone, at one point in time, dumped a bunch of these priceless fossils in the East River because they just didn't have any storage. | ||
| In the 1930s, was it? | ||
| Was it something like that? | ||
| It was like the 1930s. | ||
| It was much later for some reason because U-Haul bill was up. | ||
| I think back then they didn't even understand. | ||
| We got a bunch of these. | ||
| Fucking dump them. | ||
| They didn't understand how crazy it was what they had. | ||
| One of the times I was in Alaska, they took me and Dave Smith actually to the animal preserve area out there by the glaciers. | ||
| I'll tell you what, being a person who really mostly saw like wild animals only in a zoo before, the animals there, while majestic, are very, pretty worse for the wear. | ||
| Like, when you see a moose, it's not like a beautiful, like, it is, you know, the hordes, but when you get up to them, there's like scabs, like real, like, they've been in a fight or something. | ||
| They were nursing an eagle back to health. | ||
| Yeah, like real wilderness animals are like fucking, they're living a life. | ||
| They don't live long either, man. | ||
| Yeah, this shit's around all the time. | ||
| Did you see that video of these two dirt bike riders and one of them fucks up and rides his dirt bike past a bear's den? | ||
| No! | ||
| And doesn't realize it until the bear comes charging out of the den at him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Let me find it, Jamie. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| You got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| We crashed it right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That guy revved his engine and that's probably what scared it off. | ||
| The buddy's video statement. | ||
| Dude, that is death. | ||
| That is death. | ||
| Oh, you know how fucking terrifying that would be? | ||
| When they show that like people have been hit by like tiger claws. | ||
| I saw a video the other day. | ||
| It was like family was attacked by... | ||
| Maybe it was a panther or something, or a puma or something like that, but like, it looks like when you see the hits, they're always just, it almost looks like they're playful playing with you, but this from a tiger would just rip your face entirely off. | ||
| It's like Tyson trying to pitty-pitty. | ||
| You don't understand. | ||
| You literally don't have any weapons. | ||
| They have weapons on every hand, and their face is a weapon, and their bite strength is so superior to yours, you couldn't even imagine it. | ||
| And they're so much stronger pound for pound than we are. | ||
| And you're just playing defense? | ||
| You're not trying to win, you're trying to survive? | ||
| Did you ever have a regular house cat that you have a situation with? | ||
| He starts swinging at you. | ||
| I had a house cat that was feral, and I had to get him fixed because he was pissing in my house. | ||
| It was one of those things. | ||
| He was just spraying all over my house. | ||
| He was feral. | ||
| I got him when he was a kitten. | ||
| So a friend, she found a bunch of them underneath the apartment building, and her and her boyfriend gave them out to people, and I took one of them. | ||
| So I had this kitten, and literally I had to stay with it for several days alone in one of the bedrooms in my house to get it to be comfortable enough with me that it let me touch it. | ||
| I would go near it and it would hiss at me. | ||
| Climb the fucking drapes. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| Why did you take it home? | ||
| Because I was like, I was committed to this. | ||
| I was like, I'm going to make this work out. | ||
| I'm going to make this work out. | ||
| And so these cats, like when they start pissing the house, you have to get them fixed. | ||
| Because now they're going to do that all the time. | ||
| And I had to get them right when he first started doing it. | ||
| I saw him do it. | ||
| He lifted up his ass and he sprayed all over my bathroom like, you little motherfucker. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| So I call my veterinarian and he says, how feral? | ||
| I go, he's fucking crazy feral. | ||
| I go, I'm the only one who can pet him. | ||
| And he's like, oh my god. | ||
| He's my friend. | ||
| Dr. Craig. | ||
| He was the shit. | ||
| And so he goes, you're going to have to capture it. | ||
| So I got it in the bathroom, and it's hissing at me and jumping on the counters like it knows I'm doing something. | ||
| And so I throw a blanket over this fucking thing. | ||
| And I wrap him up in a blanket, and I put him in a hamper, and I take him to the doctor. | ||
| And I'm like, good luck. | ||
| You can have the hamper in the bag. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| He calls me when the operation's over, because it was right down the street from my house. | ||
| How did he do it? | ||
| I go, how did you do it? | ||
| He's like, we managed. | ||
| It was not easy. | ||
| He's like, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| I go, I know. | ||
| He was a fun guy. | ||
| He was like, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| I go, yeah, he's feral. | ||
| But I could pick him up. | ||
| I could pick him up, and he would purr. | ||
| He'd be okay. | ||
| Like, purr louder than any cat ever purred. | ||
| Like, so happy that he was okay. | ||
| He was safe. | ||
| Like, programmed in his mind when he was a bitty-bitty tiny baby. | ||
| It was like, the world is a scary place for a feral cat. | ||
| The world is a scary place for that. | ||
| You still have the cat? | ||
| No, he's dead now. | ||
| But became completely domesticated? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, it was only me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that was it. | ||
| No one else could touch him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I could go up to him and go, come on, man, come on, man. | ||
| And I'd pick him up. | ||
| And he'd be alright. | ||
| He would even look at me like tense up when I would come near him. | ||
| But he knew. | ||
| I'm like, come on, man, come on, man. | ||
| I'd pick him up. | ||
| The purring was so loud. | ||
| It was so appreciative. | ||
| It was like sobbing love. | ||
| I'm a new pet person. | ||
| I never... | ||
| You just got the first dog. | ||
| Gave a shit ever. | ||
| It wasn't that I didn't understand, but I definitely didn't have a full grip on when people were like... | ||
| Even when Ari got a dog. | ||
| I remember when Ari first got his dog. | ||
| You didn't give a shit about my dog. | ||
| You always said, don't bring him, don't put him in the back seat. | ||
| You care more about the hair than the dog. | ||
| A lot of hair. | ||
| I still care about the hair with my own dog. | ||
| It's a thing. | ||
| My dog's a golden retriever. | ||
| It's fucking crazy here. | ||
| It's everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, it's always everywhere. | ||
| Especially in the summer. | ||
| I'm changing on that and getting much less... | ||
| Caring. | ||
| Like wigged out about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just gotta brush him. | |
| You can't fight him. | ||
| You gotta brush him. | ||
| It's so worth it. | ||
| It's so worth it is what the thing is. | ||
| But it took us a couple months, me and the dog, to get like... | ||
| It was never that I thought the dog was awful. | ||
| It's the cutest dog I loved, but... | ||
| For the first couple months, I was like, I think we made a mistake in getting a dog. | ||
| He's shitting everywhere. | ||
| I was like, yo, I don't think I was prepared for what this was going to be. | ||
| You had a bad dog, too. | ||
| He'd come to barbecues, and he'd always be up there with a hot dog in his mouth. | ||
| Like, get the fuck down! | ||
| And you tie him up and you find a way around and you get a paw just to get some fucking nuts. | ||
| How old was she when that was happening? | ||
| Six months. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| She's a little over one now, but even now she's calming down. | ||
| She's great. | ||
| But I never had that feeling with an animal before. | ||
| It's totally different. | ||
| But imagine asking a six-month-old child to figure that out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But they can't get onto the table. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're incredibly agile for a six-month-old. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they're fucking awesome. | ||
| I'm trying to fucking cook. | ||
| I'm on the grill. | ||
| Literally on the grill and he's jumping up trying to get it. | ||
| But wouldn't you? | ||
| Everybody loves you. | ||
| You're a puppy. | ||
| Wouldn't you think that that's yours? | ||
| I'm going to get that food. | ||
| That fucking hot dog smells delicious. | ||
| It smells like something I like. | ||
| Imagine what a hot dog smells like to a dog. | ||
| A hot dog smells good to you. | ||
| Imagine what it smells like to a dog. | ||
| It must be unstoppable. | ||
| Because dog food doesn't smell good. | ||
| Does not. | ||
| It's grotesque. | ||
| But I'll tell you what I bought. | ||
| So they started opening dispensaries now in New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when I was in line, they got me CBD dog treats. | ||
| Getting your dog high. | ||
| And I mean, it's so... | ||
| I... Taking them away now a little bit more because It's addictive to me how fun it is Because you can give her this thing if you give her a whole biscuit Which is by the way the servings like you give them a like just like a dog treat looks a little bone or whatever She eats she takes it like a ritual. | ||
| She takes over to a certain spot and like chomps on it drops some of it picks it up And then you're almost like, she doesn't seem like anything. | ||
| And then 15 minutes later, she starts aimlessly walking around the living room. | ||
| And then it's just a drop out into sleep wherever she's at. | ||
| And just like down. | ||
| And like if you try to wait, you're like, hey Dawkins. | ||
| And she's like, she really does like the one eye, like the bloodshot eye. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| And I'm like, man, that shit. | ||
| I've never seen something work so much. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I wonder if it's how it affects them. | ||
| They're just chill. | ||
| And by the way, she stopped falling asleep, so that's why I said I was pulling them away, because then she started not falling asleep. | ||
| She's staying awake, but she's being loopy. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| She's just looking at you weird. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I think dogs can definitely get high. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You know how I know? | ||
| Do you remember my dog, Lucy? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| She was the dog that I had. | ||
| It was a rescue dog. | ||
| Some friends of mine, they found this dog that was eating out of garbage cans, and they said, she's so sweet, but she's covered in mange. | ||
| So I said, ah, okay. | ||
| You even go hunting for your dogs. | ||
| I just went, no! | ||
| It's like somebody called me up with a terrible sob story. | ||
| They know I'm a pussy. | ||
| And so I see this dog, and she's so sweet. | ||
| And she has mange all over her body, and so I took her in. | ||
| And just feeding her, within a short amount of time, the mange completely- Went away. | ||
| Completely went away. | ||
| She was a great dog. | ||
| But one day, Joey Diaz and I were doing bong hits in my office, and the dog was under the desk, and I didn't think about it. | ||
| There's actually a photo on the internet of Joey with a sleeveless shirt on. | ||
| Holding a big handful of weed. | ||
| It's from that day. | ||
| See if you can find that picture, because it's a famous picture. | ||
| That's the picture. | ||
| So that's me and Joey. | ||
| That's me and Joey in my office doing bong hits. | ||
| You know, I bought like an ounce of weed. | ||
| So look at that. | ||
| That was back when I was buying weed from the dispensary in Irvine. | ||
| When there's like two of them? | ||
| What was the... | ||
| It was a bad neighborhood. | ||
| I'm trying to remember the neighborhood. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I'll remember. | ||
| I'll remember. | ||
| So that was the day. | ||
| So we'd got there and gotten just fucking barbecued. | ||
| And the dog was underneath the desk. | ||
| And then she was so sketched out afterwards. | ||
| I was like, you okay? | ||
| But she had all this trauma for when she was young and she was homeless and eating out of garbage cans and shit. | ||
| She's on drugs again. | ||
| Back on the shit. | ||
| It all came back. | ||
| But I guess dogs like that are probably terrified they're going to go back to that life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You start getting paranoid. | ||
| Right, you're terrified you're gonna be on the streets again. | ||
| Why do you bring the friend over? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's gotta be to take me away. | ||
| But imagine a dog not having any idea why all of a sudden it's like hyper freaked out about everything. | ||
| Yeah, well, the senses in general I've never witnessed before. | ||
| I'm blown away by like she, like friends of ours who have dogs that she like is with a lot. | ||
| If we're like, like Justin's house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got a dog they play all the time. | ||
| If we're Blocks away, but in the area of town. | ||
| Of Justin? | ||
| She perks up. | ||
| That's like the dog. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| It seems like an impossibility, but she tends to seem to recognize from a car. | ||
| Just like being down in a car. | ||
| Yeah, they know it. | ||
| Not seeing. | ||
| From smell or something, she just pops up like, we're near that dog. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how else she could possibly feel. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| She's like down. | ||
| It'd be a pretty crazy coincidence. | ||
| Weird connection with people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| Bandit led us to Sal's front door from the elevator after six months gone. | ||
| When she wasn't even... | ||
| She was six months old to a year old. | ||
| And then remember where Sal lived. | ||
| Some smell in there, yeah. | ||
| Dude, my dog cuddles with me when I watch TV sometimes. | ||
| Like, he lies next to me and he puts his head on my chest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I just sit there and petting him. | ||
| It's like you're watching like a nice show and you have this beautiful love moment with this animal. | ||
| That's the greatest shit in the world. | ||
| That's just so sweet and all they want is just to be loved and to love you. | ||
| You just lean up and give me kisses sometimes. | ||
| Michael loves you too. | ||
| I feel like always in those moments. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the best. | |
| It's the best. | ||
| Nothing's better in the world. | ||
| Sometimes you gotta pee and you're like, no, I gotta stay here. | ||
| She's right on me. | ||
| I find always in those moments while I'm petting and I go, you are the best decision we ever made. | ||
| You are the best. | ||
| Oh fuck, she bit through that leather chair over there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're almost like, why would you bite through that leather chair? | |
| When they're puppies, the scary thing is like extension cords. | ||
| That's the scary thing. | ||
| If they bite an electrical cord and get electrocuted. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking scary. | ||
| That happens to dogs sometimes. | ||
| We never had that. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta be careful with those little fuckers. | ||
| They don't know what to chew and what not to chew. | ||
| And you gotta give them things to chew. | ||
| That's very important. | ||
| You gotta give them chew toys. | ||
| Toys to bite on. | ||
| Yeah, they have to be animals still. | ||
| Because my dog's a retriever. | ||
| He brings over a toy when he comes to say hi. | ||
| Like if someone comes over the house, he runs and gets his toy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta get a toy. | |
| Presents it. | ||
| Like he always has to have a toy. | ||
| Like he brings a toy to say hi to everybody. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I thought I was the way dogs play with each other also I thought I was gonna have like enemy after enemy on the street but like two people barely giving a shit like Me smoking a cigarette and some guy on the phone while we just look away let our dogs like what only looks like fight to the death That's their playing. | ||
| I'm like, is everyone okay with this? | ||
| And you don't have to talk to the other person. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You just go, it's like, oh, hey, our dogs are gonna do each other's pussies and whatever and just let it happen for a minute. | ||
| Some dogs, you gotta be careful, though. | ||
| There's a lot of people with pit bulls that'll fight dogs. | ||
| They'll fight dogs when they get close to them. | ||
| They don't even know why. | ||
| Just out of instinct. | ||
| Even if you train them. | ||
| You have to have a really good trainer to curb that and some dogs. | ||
| Do you remember the... | ||
| Were you there when the girl from the... | ||
| There was a waitress at a comedy club who got a rescue dog, like a pit bull. | ||
| And then one of the other waitresses went over there. | ||
| Her friend went over there to meet the new dog and everything. | ||
| She said the dog was the sweetest dog. | ||
| She had her for whatever couple days. | ||
| And... | ||
| Like disfigured her for life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| I mean, she's a gorgeous girl, and she got handled... | ||
| It was handled pretty well. | ||
| She's still a gorgeous chick. | ||
| But I mean, it's definitely... | ||
| But I mean, it affected her forever. | ||
| It was like wild. | ||
| Like emergency plastic surgery type shit. | ||
| Well, you know, Whitney's always adopting wild animals. | ||
| Those dogs are humongous. | ||
| She's like, me and my dogs, I'm like, put them away. | ||
| Whitney got like half her ear bitten off once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, she goes, oh, a dog didn't even mean to do it. | ||
| It's like, they don't even know what they're doing. | ||
| They don't know their strength. | ||
| I'm like, your dog bit your ear off. | ||
| That's an issue. | ||
| But she kept the dog. | ||
| Now she's in the horses. | ||
| She got it stitched up. | ||
| Oh, she's always been in the horses. | ||
| Is any cock big enough? | ||
| That lady loves dogs. | ||
| She loves dogs. | ||
| She's always got a bunch of rescue dogs she's taking care of. | ||
| She, like, fosters dogs and then finds them homes and shit. | ||
| Can I just say, speaking of rabid dogs. | ||
| Yeah, that's her after she got her ear bit off. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But they put it back on. | ||
| But they sewed it back on, and I'm fine. | ||
| She's so crazy! | ||
| She's a lunatic. | ||
| She's a full lunatic. | ||
| She's at the mothership this weekend, isn't she? | ||
| I think she is. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I just saw it was the premiere for the... | ||
| She produced the Burt Roast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, that's a wild lady. | ||
| Fuck it, I was saying this yesterday, too. | ||
| She's getting to know her more lately in the last few years. | ||
| She's a boss chick. | ||
| She runs shit. | ||
| She really runs shit. | ||
| She runs shit. | ||
| She's an impressive person, yeah. | ||
| Very impressive. | ||
| Yeah, she's smart as fuck, man. | ||
| Maybe too smart. | ||
| One time I was having a conversation with her out of nowhere. | ||
| She calls me up. | ||
| She goes, I'm producing a documentary on violence. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| That's so vague also. | ||
| How do you have time for this? | ||
| She told me about that wild Italian thing that they do like once a year where it's like MMA mixed with like rugby. | ||
| What? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That weird... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Cherico or something? | ||
| I forget the name of it. | ||
| It's some... | ||
| Weird. | ||
| It's a big gang fight. | ||
| It's a big gang fight. | ||
| Oh, so she's going to see it? | ||
| And she told me about this. | ||
| She's like, have you heard of this? | ||
| I go, no, what is this? | ||
| And so she was doing a documentary on violence. | ||
| And this was one of the subjects. | ||
| It was MMA fights and this stuff. | ||
| So it's basically, it's like some kind of a ball game, but they beat the fuck out of each other. | ||
| Calcio. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| Calcio storico. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I don't know if I'm saying that right, even though I'm Italian. | ||
| But these guys just beat the fuck out of each other, man. | ||
| They throw down bare knuckle. | ||
| They throw leg kicks and shit. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's their Ellis Mania. | ||
| And I don't think there's anybody that stops the fights either. | ||
| They just let it go till they're knocked out. | ||
| I think they just, you know, decide not to kill each other. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| But there's something, there's a game to it, and then the game stops and a fight starts? | ||
| Yeah, this is wild, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at those guys. | |
| Everybody's holding somebody down. | ||
| Yeah, they hold them down, they're beating people up from the mount, and there's so many of them. | ||
| Look how many guys are on the field. | ||
| Look, that guy's in full guard down there, and there's another guy who's got a guy in side control. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| So I found out about this from Whitney. | ||
| This was called... | ||
| You would think that I would know about that. | ||
| That was called... | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I mean, that's like, essentially... | ||
| That was called Smear the Queer in Philadelphia. | ||
| Smear the Queer was a good one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, Kill the Cow. | ||
| Smear the Queer. | ||
| I'll be honest with you, Kill the Cow hurt more if I was, like, holding the ball. | ||
| Kill that cow. | ||
| You're like, shut up, guys. | ||
| You know I'm sensitive. | ||
| Smear the Queer goes, I'll be the queer. | ||
| Do you ever do hug the pole in like 21 or something? | ||
| Where if you lose, you have to hug the basketball pole and whoever won gets to whip the basketball at your ass? | ||
| No, we had a game called Suicide that was like a wall, ball-based game, but it was like something if the ball touched you and you didn't catch it, tennis ball always, you had to run to the wall and like touch it and say suicide. | ||
| But while you were making, until that happened, everybody else could pick up the ball and just try to zing it at you as hard as they could. | ||
| And then if you... | ||
| If you pussed out and said, if someone called you out for like saying suicide before you touched the wall, then they got a free peg, which means you had to stand there like a firing line. | ||
| And I'll tell you, the fear is like, we had some, there was some Randy Johnson like sidearm guys, and it was almost worse when it was missed because the fear, when you'd hear like the air being split as it like zips by your head and just misses you is nuts. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Philly. | ||
| There's no internet yet. | ||
| Crazy fucking people. | ||
| Our porn was all analog back then, so we had to do this. | ||
| If you could go back and get those guys that were on the skyscrapers, building those skyscrapers, eating lunch. | ||
| Remember those guys? | ||
| With their legs dangling? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you could get those guys and drop them off in a tech conference. | ||
| In 2023, they were probably like, what the fuck happened to men? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine if you just transported those guys to the future. | ||
| Like, essentially 100 years. | ||
| The concept that someone wears a suit every day. | ||
| Just looking at these guys with their pronouns on their badges. | ||
| What the fuck happened? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He him? | ||
| No, that's gone. | ||
| They'd be like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Work. | ||
| Roger with the man face and the man body has he him in his badge? | ||
| Yeah, he goes, I believe it. | ||
| Everybody's doing this now? | ||
| They'd be like, what is... | ||
| Like, what the fuck happened? | ||
| Also, electricity. | ||
| Also, like, you know, how come you guys have so much food? | ||
| Bidets. | ||
| Bidets also. | ||
| A lot of food. | ||
| Bidets will blow their mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| You've seen this guy in the 1980s? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Albert Stock. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Watch when he calms down. | ||
| That's what's even crazier. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't see that. | |
| He shimmies down, bro. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| This is in the 1980s. | ||
| What? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I'm having it happen right now. | ||
| This guy's an athlete. | ||
| I have a physical reaction to this. | ||
| Gotta be Cambodian. | ||
| You should have a fucking physical reaction to this. | ||
| Like I'm saying my legs feel like gummy when I watch this. | ||
| He didn't even slow down. | ||
| Bro, this guy's an animal. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| The strength and the skill along with the courage to be up there where one fuck... | ||
| Look at him climb, dude! | ||
| Are you fucking shitting me? | ||
| Are you fucking shitting me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ, this guy's a construction worker. | |
| He's like an athlete. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's a climbing athlete. | ||
| He's got a fucking tool bag on, dude. | ||
| He's doing this while he's got a tool bag on. | ||
| This is insanity. | ||
| How does this guy practice? | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| Because you can't just get good at this on the job. | ||
| You ever see it go bad? | ||
| How many guys would die? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You've never seen a show on the ground floor? | |
| But to do this? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Who the fuck is doing this? | ||
| That's a different state of mind. | ||
| Bro, are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| That guy could take over the world. | ||
| What are you even doing up there? | ||
| There's nothing going on up there. | ||
| What's the point? | ||
| There's nothing there for you. | ||
| The guy who's got the ability. | ||
| Mine are too. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you seen the picture of the guy that took the photo of those guys sitting on that 30s? | |
| What's he doing? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got his head under a car. | |
| Bro, this guy's an animal. | ||
| Look at him out there. | ||
| But have you ever seen this kind of stuff go bad? | ||
| The pull-ups? | ||
| The one on the side of the building. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| And you see him when he can't do pull-ups anymore. | ||
| He starts to struggle. | ||
| And he's trying to get his leg up. | ||
| At some point you have to accept, like... | ||
| Shit, it's not happening. | ||
| He doesn't do that last pull-up, and he's like, oh, you don't get up after that. | ||
| And it's like, um... | ||
| Well, you know, doing that, like, hanging on a ledge and getting all the way up to the top is not easy. | ||
| Even if you can do a pull-up. | ||
| To get up to the top where you can get your body weight over the sides. | ||
| To get your arm above it and pull yourself up and to have that kind of weird muscle-up strength. | ||
| Oh my god, look at that guy. | ||
| He's just standing there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He brought a camera up there. | |
| Someone had to take these pictures. | ||
| Jesus Christ, these guys are animals! | ||
| They're napping! | ||
| They're fucking napping! | ||
| They're napping on a beam! | ||
| Oh my god, that's so insane! | ||
| My feet are twitching. | ||
| My feet are twitching. | ||
| My fucking feet are sweaty right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I said. | |
| He's brought a radio up. | ||
| The guy brought a radio. | ||
| He's smoking a cigarette. | ||
| But back then, so many people were dead by the time they were 15. Yeah, I got six months left anyway. | ||
| Their wives only had missionary sex for procreation. | ||
| Everyone's never going home, too. | ||
| He goes, you know what? | ||
| I'm just gonna leave. | ||
| I'm in the middle of this book. | ||
| I stare death in the eye every day, so when I go home, I'm happy to be bored. | ||
| In the middle of this book about the early days of cities and how fucking filthy the streets were and how many diseases there were. | ||
| People stacked on top of each other. | ||
| It's horrific, man. | ||
| You think about what life was like back then. | ||
| I mean, those fucking people did not live long. | ||
| No. | ||
| Dirt roads and stuff. | ||
| That was a hard life, man. | ||
| Living in an urban environment. | ||
| Disease everywhere. | ||
| Black plague any day. | ||
| 19 and 10. Fucking horrible that would be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No AC. No concept of an AC. Steam cars going down the road. | |
| Or a bucket out your window to get supplies and bring it back up. | ||
| Shit everywhere. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Shanty towns everywhere. | ||
| During the Great Depression, they had shantytowns everywhere. | ||
| We think that this is an unusual thing to have people camping in the streets. | ||
| You ever go back and watch those images of the Depression? | ||
| Fucking shantytowns all outside of cities. | ||
| No fucking running water. | ||
| Raw sewage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| People stacked in apartment tenements on top of each other with no ventilation. | ||
| It smells like shit when you walk in there. | ||
| Bad plumbing, no plumbing, outdoor porta-potties for fucking everybody in the neighborhood. | ||
| It's just disease. | ||
| It outhouses. | ||
| They said the plague was coming back in LA, in the homeless community. | ||
| Oh yeah, they said. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Which disease was it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They always say the plague. | ||
| The plague, yeah. | ||
| No, it was something wild. | ||
| It was something like, that's still, I barely even remember hearing about that. | ||
| Yeah, what was it, Jamie? | ||
| It wasn't like rickets. | ||
| It was like a medieval disease. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it was one of them weird bubonic plague. | ||
| Bubonic plague. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people were like, well, you just got a hands off. | ||
| Well, you know, these people are unhoused. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like to say I'm unhoused because I live in an apartment. | ||
| People don't like that. | ||
| That doesn't count. | ||
| Remember that conspiracy from the documentary about that hotel in L.A. that all the homeless outside were getting tuberculosis and they thought it was because the girl She was studying tuberculosis in college. | ||
| Maybe she was a biological weapon to get to the homeless outside of that hotel. | ||
| What a conspiracy. | ||
| No, she was off her meds. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I hate that... | ||
| When they stretch out four episodes of something where each one was like, well, was it a ghost? | ||
| They go, no. | ||
| It wasn't a ghost. | ||
| It was a real person. | ||
| But what is she looking at? | ||
| There was clearly another person. | ||
| And then the explanation of the... | ||
| Watch all the lights or it stops on all these floors or something. | ||
| And it was like, yeah, she came in and just whacked. | ||
| So it's not crazy. | ||
| The wait time for the doors to close. | ||
| Everything just added up and the whole documentary came around to like, ah, she was just a whack job, jumped in a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, she got off her meds. | |
| Her family knew that she was medicated. | ||
| She decided to go to downtown L.A. and stay in this wacky hotel. | ||
| I think that's the hotel I dropped off at Breva. | ||
| While they're doing all of that research they've been trying to figure out in the investigation, when they came to that answer, her family was like, yeah, that adds up. | ||
| She'd probably get naked and jump into a poor house. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They weren't even, like, suspicious. | ||
| They were like, oh, right. | ||
| Yeah, that does. | ||
| Some people are out there. | ||
| They're crazy. | ||
| Some crazy people are out there. | ||
| We've got to push Jay Special. | ||
| Yeah, people are pushing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pushing it hard. | ||
| How excited are you now? | ||
| It's the first one in seven years, buddy. | ||
| What, are you directing the conversation? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We've got to push it a little bit. | ||
| We're going to talk about it. | ||
| That's his dog belly. | ||
| Dog belly. | ||
| Big Jay Overson, available right now on YouTube. | ||
| That's both our dog's bellies. | ||
| Where'd you film that? | ||
| We did it at Skankfest, Vegas. | ||
| I like the fucking set. | ||
| Last year. | ||
| Yeah, they did an amazing job. | ||
| You look like you're ready to Alhamdulillah and blow up a building. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Leading the charge. | ||
| Yeah, no, we did it at Skank Fest. | ||
| Two shows. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| Look at your hair, you sexy bitch. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's poor Ari. | ||
| Ari thought... | ||
| It just grew out, and I've been on the road so much, I haven't been able to get it done. | ||
| Again, red. | ||
| And Ari didn't know that, and when he showed up in the town today, he red-streaked the side of his hair. | ||
| I did this the morning of the flight. | ||
| That's like a solidarity funny sign. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And I don't have it. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I like it, Ari. | ||
| I'm not such a fan. | ||
| No? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A black guy made fun of him last night. | ||
| I think you started shaving your whole head, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Off. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Shave that nonsense on the side, anyway. | ||
| I got a bad toupee. | ||
| It does look that bad. | ||
| You gotta let it go. | ||
| But yeah, when David Lucas made fun of you, you hated it. | ||
| It's not how I normally wear this hair. | ||
| David Lucas is so funny, roasting. | ||
| When you and Tony go after each other, oh my god, they go after each other. | ||
| It's as hard as I ever laugh. | ||
| Someone has to be really killing, but they'll do it for five minutes. | ||
| For five minutes, you're just holding your side where they go back and forth at each other. | ||
| Off the cuff. | ||
| Man, they must be sitting around all... | ||
| I know Tony does. | ||
| I bet all day Monday he's sitting around smoking pot, trying to think of things he could say to David Lucas. | ||
| And then also come up with some... | ||
| Yeah, for sure! | ||
| I guarantee he's doing that little psycho. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| Every week, they probably both do it. | ||
| They probably sit around and think of what kind of mean shit they're going to say to each other. | ||
| It is funny. | ||
| Instinctually, when I see David now, like if I'm doing Kill Tony and I see he's going to go on, I start right away just looking at everything on him just to be like, all right, well, can I have something? | ||
| He's going to say something about my hair or my wallet or something. | ||
| He's the best at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Him and Tony are the fucking perfect combination. | ||
| He smokes the vape the way Mooney used to drink, like, champagnes. | ||
| He's just like... | ||
| Like he's almost too good to talk about you. | ||
| He's casual. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mooney was the king of casual with that little tiny bottle of champagne. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, bitch, please. | ||
| And he would take a sip of the champagne. | ||
| Like, he would hit punchlines and take a sip of the champagne. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Paul Mooney? | ||
| Paul Mooney, man. | ||
| That was the funniest realization I've ever had. | ||
| Of, like, I should have known all along on Paul Mooney being gay. | ||
| Was that, uh, standing outside of Caroline's. | ||
| And I'm just, like, facing away from the building and someone said... | ||
| They were like, oh, this time there's a story. | ||
| Something happened with him. | ||
| His boyfriend or something was mad at him. | ||
| Paul Mooney's going, I go, boyfriend? | ||
| They go, yeah. | ||
| I went, Paul Mooney's gay? | ||
| And then they turned me around, and it's his headshot. | ||
| He's got little circle glasses, a hat that has fringes on it, and it's tied around his chin. | ||
| And I was like, oh. | ||
| Yup, there it is. | ||
| He's gay the whole time. | ||
| It was wild seeing him on stage before. | ||
| You look at him. | ||
| My brother was like, how come it only talks about the one thing and not at all about the other thing? | ||
| It was nuts. | ||
| Yeah, he never really did. | ||
| Oh, about being gay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, in the era that he came up, you've got to remember, he was one of Pryor's guys. | ||
| He was one of Pryor's writers. | ||
| R-I-D-E-R. He was a writer. | ||
| He was a great comic. | ||
| I mean, he really was. | ||
| But I don't think he ever got his due. | ||
| No, white people didn't know him. | ||
| I didn't know he was until comedy. | ||
| He was the guy at the Comedy Store that when he would go on stage, especially after something happened, he always had material on it. | ||
| Really good material. | ||
| He always was like, anytime some shit went down, Paul Mooney wrote something. | ||
| He had a bit about the Spirit Airlines crash. | ||
| No, it wasn't Spirit Airlines. | ||
| It was some janky airlines that crashed into the swamp. | ||
| And he was talking about this woman clutching her purse while the alligator's eating her. | ||
| And it was such a funny bit, man. | ||
| It was like right after it happened. | ||
| And he set it up. | ||
| It was masterfully the way he set it up. | ||
| So everyone's just laughing at these victims. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It was so good. | ||
| But it was like, it was so good, it was right after the tragedy. | ||
| So you know, I mean, you know, whatever you feel about tasteless jokes after tragedies. | ||
| The fact that this guy went up and did that like a day later and it was funny as fuck. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| Do you think he didn't get his due ultimately because of his personality, or do you think his personality developed because of not getting his due? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've met him several times and even done shows with him at Caroline's years ago, and he was never very nice at all, like in almost any way. | ||
| Mooney has a crust that you have to get through to get his trust, and once you get his trust, he is very kind. | ||
| You had to compliment him. | ||
| I saw him talk to an HBO guy in the back. | ||
| It wasn't just that, man. | ||
| It wasn't just that. | ||
| He had to respect you. | ||
| You know, it was like, you know, Mooney was like... | ||
| He'd been around a long time. | ||
| He'd seen a lot of shit. | ||
| He was a part of Richard Pryor's golden age, and now here he is in the year 2005, hanging out with me and Ari. | ||
| It was a long time. | ||
| He saw some guy from HBO, and he's like, Paul, how you been? | ||
| Just a fucking fake, like all of them. | ||
| He goes, how you been? | ||
| He's like, I've been good. | ||
| How about you? | ||
| He wasn't even playing pretend. | ||
| And he just kept going like, yo, we gotta do something soon. | ||
| He goes, oh, do we? | ||
| And he goes, yeah. | ||
| He goes, um... | ||
| He goes, I gotta get your number. | ||
| I don't have a pen. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| He goes, no, motherfucker, I don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| That sounds like Paul Mooney. | ||
| Yeah, he didn't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| No, motherfucker, I don't. | ||
| When that guy liked you, it was a badge of honor. | ||
| He was laughing in the back of the room one time when I was on stage. | ||
| That's pretty nice. | ||
| And it was the nicest thing ever. | ||
| And then he told me I was funny. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, thank you. | ||
| That was Patrice. | ||
| Patrice said that in New York. | ||
| He was gonna hate you. | ||
| Everybody's worried that Paul Mooney was gonna hate him. | ||
| Can you imagine this guy was around in the 70s? | ||
| And here he is 35 years later watching us young fucking snot-nosed idiots. | ||
| Did he have his money though? | ||
| Was he wealthy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He used to do LTC. Sold out the improv all the time back then. | ||
| He was still a great comic. | ||
| When he would go up, we would all watch him. | ||
| Three hours, too. | ||
| He would go on forever sometimes. | ||
| He would go on for long sets if he wanted to. | ||
| He'd always go on late. | ||
| It was nice. | ||
| He was a great comic. | ||
| I wonder what the writing process was with him and Pryor. | ||
| I wonder what that was like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder how they did it back then. | |
| How about they just sat there and wrote? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe they did a lot of drugs. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Did you have to let your ears breathe? | ||
| I gotta go to the bathroom again. | ||
| Go to the bathroom. | ||
| Go to the bathroom. | ||
| Man, it's been neat a lot lately. | ||
| Yesterday I totally over-modulated, over-hydrated. | ||
| Oh yeah, they gave us, when we were leaving the club yesterday, they gave us liquid IV. It's like eight bottles of water in one bottle of water. | ||
| I think it's like two. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It's like two. | ||
| It hydrates you. | ||
| Peter Attia was explaining it to me. | ||
| There's an actual formula. | ||
| That it works with, like, 16 ounces of water. | ||
| Like, it doubles the hydration. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| Sure, I just drank it. | ||
| I'm too fucking stupid. | ||
| Yeah, I just drank it. | ||
| But it's filled with electrolytes, and it tastes good. | ||
| And it's good for you. | ||
| It's really good after workouts. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| After sauna. | ||
| I got that Mike Tyson student glass brand, but Mike Tyson version of the gravity bong thing. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| No, but Jamie had one in here. | ||
| We're all terrified of it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| I'm sure it is. | ||
| If you wouldn't just get obliterated and melt into the couch. | ||
| Yeah, I guess it does. | ||
| Do you dab? | ||
| I stopped. | ||
| Well, more than anything else, like, the process is so, like, I never got into the ritual of it. | ||
| I feel like it's a lot to go through to have coughing that's violent. | ||
| Oh, and then there was, you know, did you see? | ||
| I went down. | ||
| I almost passed out on Legion of Skanks doing dabs. | ||
| No, I didn't see. | ||
| That's on YouTube. | ||
| You can see me going down. | ||
| It's like, what's happening? | ||
| How did you do? | ||
| Well, here's what it was. | ||
| I did almost every time I would do the dab. | ||
| Part of like, wait, pause it for a second. | ||
| Anytime I've done a... | ||
| A dab. | ||
| If it's a good dab, I would see it as, like, I'd get that feeling where I'd cough and I'd almost be like, you know, the room's got to kind of, like, come together for a second. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Almost dizzy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I thought that was kind of like the fun of the high of it. | ||
| And on this one, I do that. | ||
| That's happening. | ||
| I'm on a podcast, so I'm trying not to cough violently. | ||
| I'm keeping my coughs in. | ||
| And while I'm doing that, my next inhale is Lewis just turns and hands me another dab. | ||
| So I just do it all over again. | ||
| I didn't breathe. | ||
| And you see my head start going, and my hand starts like shit. | ||
| It looks scary. | ||
| A lot of people that were going... | ||
| You know, everyone diagnoses you after this happens, of course, but I just almost passed out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You remember this, Ari? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Look at Mullen. | ||
| Mullen can already tell something's up. | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| What were you experiencing right here? | ||
| I was aware, still. | ||
| Weirdly. | ||
| But what was it like? | ||
| What were you experiencing? | ||
| Look at Dave realize. | ||
| And he's like, no wait. | ||
| No, he's joking. | ||
| And I'm fine immediately again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, I thought you were acting. | |
| I really thought you were doing a bit. | ||
| I'm back. | ||
| What I was experiencing, I knew my head was going down, but I just thought I was kind of going down and coughing, and then I heard Lewis go, Jay? | ||
| And I was like, yes. | ||
| Why is the crowd behind you guys? | ||
| Instead of us facing them. | ||
| But they project the show and all the stuff to the audience. | ||
| So in front of us, they're seeing a screen of us and all of the stuff we do. | ||
| But meanwhile, you're right in front of them. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That seems ridiculous. | ||
| It's like watching a Twitch stream. | ||
| Yeah, don't do that. | ||
| I never really thought of it that way. | ||
| That sucks for the people that are there. | ||
| Didn't we used to face the audience? | ||
| Or do they sit all around us? | ||
| Bro, you can figure that out. | ||
| You guys can figure that out. | ||
| Put cameras in a better spot. | ||
| Oh, Harrington. | ||
| Facing the audience? | ||
| Yeah, you can have cameras facing the audience if you want to. | ||
| Well, Lewis, you've heard it here. | ||
| Rogan says you're failing. | ||
| Bobby's cursing this guy right now. | ||
| The people talking should be facing the audience. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| It's done badly right now. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Your back? | ||
| They're behind you? | ||
| Why are they there? | ||
| What, are you a priest? | ||
| Why are they there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they behind you? | |
| Let me give you Lewis' theory on that. | ||
| I know there actually is one, and I don't heavily disagree with it. | ||
| The show is also for the majority of people taking it in are watching from home. | ||
| So the idea is saying to play to... | ||
| Like each other more than play when you're staring at the crowd you tend to go and we did when we did face the audience We would do a lot more like trying the hand and not paying attention to each other in a conversation On one hand, you know kind of courage it takes to turn your back to your fucking crowd Yeah, you're not wrong Hundreds of people and you're talking mad shit and there's people behind you. | ||
| It is an added element of danger Well, it's also in a club where sometimes, like, through the cracks comes somebody who just came to the club. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| And was like, there happens to be a... | ||
| Because we're sold out pretty much for, like, weeks in advance, but there'll be... | ||
| And we've had, like, two weeks ago... | ||
| Thank God they tend to be pretty cool, usually, where they quietly leave, but we'll end up calling it out anyway. | ||
| They'll be like, this is not for me. | ||
| Yeah, but there was a lady from Canada and her 17-year-old son was with her. | ||
| Oh, we tried to get him high? | ||
| Yeah, you were on that episode. | ||
| But she ended up being super cool, but they had no idea what they were walking into. | ||
| We lucked out that she was a cool mom. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That kid rules. | ||
| We were like, says, hi, we've decided you will smoke weed. | ||
| And he's like... | ||
| Can I? Can you imagine not knowing what you're doing? | ||
| You walk into a Legion of Skanks show? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's actually, we've yelled at the club for that before. | ||
| Like, hey, don't do that to people. | ||
| Because then, when they're upset with us, I still kind of feel for them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, well, if you didn't want to see something like this, you should have to watch this. | |
| It's not their fault. | ||
| They should have been warned going in there. | ||
| It should have been warned. | ||
| I'm happy you're selling it. | ||
| When it happens, they went over and it ends up being a good thing. | ||
| It is cool when they catch up, though. | ||
| And they're like, okay, I'll go with this. | ||
| But there is times when people leave and you can see their faces. | ||
| You're like, why would you have put them... | ||
| It's not a stand-up show. | ||
| It's not their thing, yeah. | ||
| It's not a stand-up show. | ||
| They came to watch a stand-up show and you go, well, there's this other thing. | ||
| And without giving them enough, like... | ||
| It could go pretty haywire in there. | ||
| You're going to hear nutty shit. | ||
| In one episode, he had to lube up a gun, and Lewis had to shove it up Jay's ass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right there in front of everybody. | ||
| Imagine just a random coming in for a comedy show, and you're like, what the fuck's going on? | ||
| My daughter, when she turned 19, she was almost like, can I come? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Well, she's my daughter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so for the most part, I'm like, she gets with this comedy. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| And I was like, it's not so much the material that we're talking about that's gonna get me. | ||
| Now, what happened with Lewis and Dave, which I fully understand too, they were coming to me a couple times and they were like, hey, you gotta stop letting her come to the show. | ||
| I'm like, she's an adult, dude. | ||
| She wants to come. | ||
| I'm almost like, you guys kinda have to get used to the idea that she's an adult. | ||
| And then what they said made me, they were like, yeah, but dude, we're seeing like that four-year-old little girl over there that we've known since she was a kid, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's like, it's going to make me not tell a story that I want to tell. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Because she's there. | ||
| And I go... | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| And then as a little... | ||
| Do you remember this? | ||
| As a little... | ||
| Yeah, she wished she could come. | ||
| But as a little cherry on top that made it easier to explain to her that we're going to take a break from her coming for a while, was that night. | ||
| Out of nowhere, Byron, who ended up becoming the intern from the intern contest, sucked his own dick on stage. | ||
| And looking over at my 19-year-old daughter like this, like, I was like, oh, all right, point taking, guys. | ||
| I'll keep her out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| On stage? | ||
| On stage. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| By the way, he sucked. | ||
| Is that legal? | ||
| This is going to press you more. | ||
| That might get you in trouble. | ||
| No, they put a curtain up eventually. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| On stage, anything goes. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Performance art. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's something like that. | ||
| It depends on where this is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might have just admitted to a crime. | ||
| It was in his mouth. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| Like, legitimately, this might be a crime. | ||
| Are you allowed to blow yourself in front of people? | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| I feel like it's the same as masturbation. | ||
| Do you think it'd be worse than that? | ||
| Crime-wise? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Punishment-wise? | |
| I don't know, because it's so weird. | ||
| Well, here's the crazy thing. | ||
| He sucked his own dick while it was soft. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Do you dangle it into his head or do you come down on it? | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| I said to Louis, I wonder if you had any opinions or thoughts on Gigi Allen, which is a very similar stage show of just insanity. | ||
| Yeah, shitting on people and stuff. | ||
| I've been watching these documentaries on him lately, or these little short films people have made. | ||
| It's funny what I thought was cool when I was younger, as an older performer, You have the picture out there of Jim Morrison, his mugshot and stuff. | ||
| When I watched The Doors when I was younger, I thought it was the coolest thing because his defiance and his... | ||
| He might not even show up. | ||
| And the piano player's got to sing all the songs because he's drunk with Jefferson Airplane somewhere. | ||
| And as an adult performer, you're like, hey Jerichoff, show up and do your show. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's an audience waiting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, there's a coolness to it, but like, same thing, Gigi Allen, like, I get you want to put on a big show, but I don't know if chucking shit at the people in the audience is like the way to handle it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But meanwhile, some people are like, bro, I got pelted with Gigi shit! | |
| Fuck yes! | ||
| They probably smeared it on their friend, fuck yes! | ||
| You did it! | ||
| Pink eye forever. | ||
| Well, they always tell you, all the documentaries go, well, there was Kevin, and Kevin was a sweetheart. | ||
| You're like, that was like a character because he's lost in it. | ||
| I mean, he was. | ||
| That was a character? | ||
| Just a piece of shit was his character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I mean, a deplorable piece of shit. | ||
| But that's the thing, he would always be like, my mother didn't give a shit about me. | ||
| The man shot himself on stage and smeared it on his face in the name of punk. | ||
| How do you even shit yourself on standing? | ||
| No, buddy, there's videos of this. | ||
| He goes into the audience, and what's funny is they love him. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
| Look at his tattoo. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Life sucks, scumfuck. | ||
| Life sucks, scumfuck. | ||
| Smearing shit on your face. | ||
| And then the other side says fuck something. | ||
| Fuck something. | ||
| Bro, I don't. | ||
| It says fuck you. | ||
| That is not totally a character. | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You can't get into that. | ||
| But what's funny is they talk to his mom and stuff, because his story's always like, you know, my mom, the parents didn't give a shit about me, and my dad was this, and fuck you, that's why I'm angry. | ||
| And his mom's like... | ||
| Just shows pictures of him and his brother, they were both in the band, as kids, just on horses. | ||
| They were fine like a bunch of Massachusetts kids. | ||
| And what happened? | ||
| He started getting attention to... | ||
| Drugs, probably, is the ultimate answer. | ||
| He probably got into drugs and was just, like, started getting... | ||
| But I mean, like... | ||
| You peeing again? | ||
| No, I'm gonna get the coffee. | ||
| Unfixable or... | ||
| Like, unrelenting. | ||
| Like, terrible. | ||
| Like, all this stuff he's in trouble for. | ||
| Like, beating up a woman publicly. | ||
| Like, at NYU, he does that. | ||
| There's video of that. | ||
| Of him just, like, taking a chick and, like, throwing her around the room and, like... | ||
| Just some random girl in the audience? | ||
| No, I think a girl was, like, you know, challenging his... | ||
| Because I guess he kept saying he was going to kill himself on stage. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But he moved the date a lot. | ||
| He'd kick the can down the road. | ||
| That year would go by. | ||
| He'd be like, Halloween of next year, I'm going to blow my stuff. | ||
| I'm going to commit suicide and take as many as I can with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Young Shepard Smith covering it live. | |
| Look at Shepard Smith. | ||
| Smith, look how cute he was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...happened at the club Space Fish behind me last night. | |
| A band called Gigi Allen and the Murder Junkies performing at a club that prides itself in its words on having shows on the cutting edge. | ||
| People paid $7 to watch a man defecate into his own hand while he was nude. | ||
| And that is just the beginning. | ||
| My guy looks down like that was good. | ||
| I'll also give you a... | ||
| I'll give him credit, G.G. Allen, too, because he has a tiny, tiny pecker, and he walks around with a... | ||
| I mean, real small. | ||
| He never presented it well. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was actually off the stage. | |
| He was right down here off the stage. | ||
| Isn't it amazing that that would be the number one concern, the size of his dick? | ||
| This guy's shitting in his hand and smearing it in his face on the stage. | ||
| And we're like, yeah. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Boy, the courage to stand in front of people with that dick. | ||
| Imagine being the smell in that place. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| You know, a lot of people say speaking publicly is people's biggest fear. | ||
| I'd say shitting publicly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then smearing it on your face. | |
| His drummer always played naked too. | ||
| Shepard Smith! | ||
| He was a space case. | ||
| Orlando, he's live from Orlando. | ||
| He's gotta love this story. | ||
| Goddamn, that's funny. | ||
| But Ari, the one that I saw, he goes into the audience and I said it's funny when they all are there for him, but they don't want to get the gross shit on him. | ||
| So as soon as he approaches, jumps down the audience, they see they make these circles around him to give him space. | ||
| And then he like... | ||
| He turns around, bends over, and just rips a couple logs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bends down, starts picking it up in his mouth. | |
| Oh, my God! | ||
| This is insane! | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ! | ||
| He shit in his hand and threw it into the audience. | ||
| He rubs it all over his chest. | ||
| That's not the worst. | ||
| Dude, his face! | ||
| Bro, this is so bad! | ||
| And then he runs into the audience, and you see the audience, like, they're like, but they're still trying to watch, but they're, like, in the hallways and stuff. | ||
| Is there... | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Just stop, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| There's no music going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Boomerang that. | ||
| I'm going to throw up. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| In pictures it's bad. | ||
| The smell will be around you. | ||
| Imagine getting hit in the face with Gigi's shit. | ||
| And you're already sweating. | ||
| And you didn't know. | ||
| Maybe my shit himself is definitely going to throw it up. | ||
| Only the Farrah Abraham shit video is the more impressive shit video. | ||
| The teen mom lady who just is so, like, wrapped in the... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You know who she is, right? | ||
| Farrah Abraham. | ||
| She was, like, an MTV teen mom girl. | ||
| She was, like, the first one that was, like, famous from that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just turned into... | ||
| She did some porn scenes. | ||
| She has, like, OnlyFans now. | ||
| But she's known for being... | ||
| A mother, she put a video out. | ||
| I guess someone just leaked it, but it was her doing an OnlyFans thing or something. | ||
| And it's her just turning around with her completely plastic body and ripping off two foot of uncut shit straight to... | ||
| It's not pornographic. | ||
| It's like an oddly satisfying video. | ||
| You ever see those where it's like when they cut the perfect things off and shit? | ||
| You're like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
When it's done, you go, you feel like, where was that in you? | |
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| There's all these oddly satisfying videos of people making soap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| This is a girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, everything she ate came out for sure. | |
| Do you think if someone knows they're going to do that, they hold it in as long as they can? | ||
| To get it longer and longer. | ||
| To just really make sure you're getting the full package out in one shipment. | ||
| I don't know if you could plan for an unbroken two foot of shit. | ||
| Some people do it regularly. | ||
| I don't think you can plan for it, but you probably increase your odds if you can just plug it in. | ||
| Just hold it in. | ||
| Tighten it. | ||
| Make it more like a sausage. | ||
| They say if you drink celery juice, your jizz will be thick and shoot far, but maybe it won't. | ||
| How would you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think I found it. | |
| What? | ||
| Jamie found what? | ||
| Jizz? | ||
| Celery juice? | ||
| Oh, the video of her shitting? | ||
| For sure you found it. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Don't show me. | ||
| Okay, show me. | ||
| Okay, show me. | ||
| I can walk you through this. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| She's pretty. | ||
| Start from the beginning. | ||
| She's so hot. | ||
| Yeah, you can play it from there. | ||
| Now what you're going to see first, Joe, is when he turns around, there's a cork of shit that was probably blocking the path. | ||
| That comes out first. | ||
| That just fires right out. | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| How much do you think you have to pay to get someone to poop in front of the camera? | ||
| This is TikTok? | ||
| This is not TikTok, no. | ||
| So there's the cork. | ||
| Easily 12 inches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Two full feet. | ||
| Oh my god, it's more than two feet, bro. | ||
| He's coming. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| That's enough. | ||
| That was all of it. | ||
| That's enough. | ||
| Imagine wanting someone to do that. | ||
| I want you to shit for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know how I felt. | |
| I have to assume it's control more than sexual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You naughty girl. | |
| You naughty girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit for me. | |
| It's gotta be control over sexual. | ||
| Yeah, but I think maybe it's a naughty thing. | ||
| It's so naughty. | ||
| Shit is so wrong. | ||
| It's funny, I can watch that and laugh at it and I don't get that disturbed by it. | ||
| No chance would I watch that in person. | ||
| I'd be like, no, no, no, no. | ||
| It's too many senses involved. | ||
| It's also a thing that's built into us to avoid Plagues and disease. | ||
| You're supposed to get away from it. | ||
| You shouldn't get away from that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's diseases. | |
| You have to wipe your hands. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| The stuff that comes out of your body will kill people. | ||
| That's how toxic it is. | ||
| The stuff that comes out of your body gets in water and then someone drinks that water, people are dead. | ||
| She was selling $5,000. | ||
| $5,000 for stinky poop that comes out of me. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| People were offering her $5,000 for poop. | ||
| She's going to keep doing that. | ||
| I was just like, I don't even think that that could go in the mail. | ||
| I was in question whether or not it was really a joke, reminding her that she went to sell her poop slime on her Sophia's website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| On her and Sophia's website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Looks like she was selling it. | |
| What a great, I mean, recycling situation. | ||
| I think that's really dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This seems like it's almost a joke. | |
| That's fake. | ||
| Yeah, that's fake. | ||
| Who was Farrah Abraham? | ||
| Where do I know her name from? | ||
| She was at David Tell's Underground. | ||
| She was one of the audience celebrities. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I think she tried to do comedy for a second, as often will happen. | ||
| Didn't Stormy Daniels try to do comedy? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It's everyone's fallback plan. | ||
| It's the lowest level of anything else. | ||
| Isn't that nice? | ||
| More of respect. | ||
| It's the lowest level of respect. | ||
| They're like, I can fall back. | ||
| Isn't that better for us, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A porn star can just do it. | ||
| Tom Brady can just do it. | ||
| Comedy tour soon. | ||
| Fair Abraham. | ||
| Please tell me there's a video of her doing comedy. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Don't show it. | ||
| We will have to be honest. | ||
| So don't show it. | ||
| Don't show it, Jamie. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| Because I can save for myself, though. | ||
| Well, I mean, I just... | ||
| If you had a video of you pooping, you would imagine, like, man, this has got to be worth a lot of money. | ||
| I can't just poop for $5,000. | ||
| I'll tell you what, there's a... | ||
| What a moneymaker. | ||
| A high level... | ||
| We're going through a recession. | ||
| A high level, like, well-known porn star... | ||
| Poop merchants? | ||
| ...who I know when we were interviewing her during... | ||
| Maybe these were quarantine numbers? | ||
| But during the quarantine, we interviewed her over Zoom. | ||
| And she was saying that she's doing a lot of OnlyFans, like private one-on-one stuff now, because we're not filming movies or anything right now. | ||
| And I was like, really? | ||
| I go, has anyone asked you to shit on camera? | ||
| She goes... | ||
| She goes, no, not really. | ||
| She goes, but I mean, that would be like, she's like, that would be a lot. | ||
| I was like, really? | ||
| I go, how much? | ||
| She goes, I mean, like shit, like that'd be like 500 bucks at least. | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| I was almost like, go ahead, do it. | ||
| I'll Venmo you right now. | ||
| No way that's possible. | ||
| 500 bucks. | ||
| You gotta do it anyway. | ||
| It's just where you're doing it. | ||
| It's a buyer's market. | ||
| It's a buyer's market. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I like your scene. | ||
| You're gonna shit. | ||
| You're gonna flush it for zero dollars? | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| If you went on to OnlyFans, can you just find people to follow? | ||
| Or do people find people from their Instagram? | ||
| Oh, do they suggest people to you? | ||
| Yeah, how does someone, because you can't search people, right? | ||
| I think you can. | ||
| You can search people? | ||
| Yeah, but I think finding people on OnlyFans would not be the allure to me. | ||
| The allure would be to find them in the wild, and then you find out, like, oh, you can see this person naked. | ||
| For sure, but you've got to think, a lot of these fitness girls that have huge OnlyFans followings, right? | ||
| Most of those guys, they find out about them somehow. | ||
| Is there a message portal there to tell each other? | ||
| Are they finding out about them on Instagram? | ||
| Is it a Facebook thing? | ||
| It's social media. | ||
| It's all social media, I think. | ||
| Join me on Instagram. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| If a girl's got a great body, all she has to do is work out. | ||
| Just work out on camera and do different stuff every day and you'll get millions of followers. | ||
| Millions and millions of followers. | ||
| Look hot, do squats. | ||
| A very fun thing we do is to look at hot girl Instagrams and just look at the comments under any picture. | ||
| It's like the guys who just... | ||
| You're awesome. | ||
| But not just you're awesome, it's like they call her baby and stuff. | ||
| Oh, baby, glad to see you're wearing that red bathing suit again. | ||
| No idea that's creepy. | ||
| So sad. | ||
| Those girls live in a life of like having the watch over their shoulder for like fucking lunatics. | ||
| You're constantly photographing where you're at, and they all think they're in with you. | ||
| They think they kind of know you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think this is the pipeline that started up. | |
| Yeah, because they call them that. | ||
| They're like, hey babies, like, you know. | ||
| On Twitch, yeah, it's not only fans, and it's not what cam girls do, but they hang out and Pools and hot tubs. | ||
| Oh yeah, we talked about this before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And that gets them onto their OnlyFans or whatever else. | |
| Do you know the podcast porn thing on OnlyFans? | ||
| A couple does a podcast with another girl, and then they fuck on OnlyFans right afterwards. | ||
| We lost podcast of the year at the AVNs to that. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| It's the Adam-22. | ||
| That's a hilarious idea. | ||
| If you're gonna make porn, that's a good idea. | ||
| That's the Adam-22 guy. | ||
| The whole fucking thing is so interesting. | ||
| People are very against it, but they can't say why. | ||
| They just feel like this is bad for society or something. | ||
| I'm thoroughly hypocritical on it. | ||
| The SDR show that I do interviews them a lot, porn stars, and they come on to do that old squirting contest kind of thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Especially if I become friendly with them at all, in any kind of way, right away you're like, damn man, it's a fucking dark world. | ||
| I don't see where it's not dark in some way. | ||
| Everyone who's out of it at some point has some I guess any job, but you know, it's like this guy is a monster of a person, so I'll never be in a room with them. | ||
| You know, that kind of shit. | ||
| You're like, damn, man. | ||
| It never seems to end. | ||
| Yeah, but like in a regular job, a bad boss just like yells you in front of everybody. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I hate that guy. | ||
| This one's like fucking you. | ||
| Ew, Jesus. | ||
| But the whole world's like, he's fucking you. | ||
| A bunch of the girls are probably showing up on drugs. | ||
| There's so many like things happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, uh... | ||
| Probably and like the higher level of professionalism probably from the girl like The more like like the less kind of sexy you know I mean like they're look when this person comes in goes, okay Where do I sign this guy's fucking me? | ||
| Okay, let's go be hard, please I Think girls instinctually from hearing stories and everything Don't fully understand, like, sometimes how a guy's, like, how a boner works. | ||
| Because a girl getting upset that you're not getting hard fast enough, or you weren't somehow hard the second they, like, pulled a titty out or something... | ||
| When it's like, what's wrong? | ||
| As soon as you do that, like, it's never happening. | ||
| Nothing's more than that. | ||
| All I'm doing is staring at it going, like, she's so let down. | ||
| She wants to, you know... | ||
| Nothing's more counterproductive to what they're trying to get done. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| No attempt at doing it, like, especially when it comes out of, like, the last sexy try. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, do you like this? | ||
| Do you want me to do this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| And you go, that's good. | ||
| And then they go, you like that? | ||
| He goes, well, then what's happening? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And you're like... | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Don't say that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You don't like this? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, You might as well, everyone just put your socks back on. | |
| We're going home. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| So aggressive. | ||
| Find yourself a cab. | ||
| I live here. | ||
| Show yourself out, please. | ||
| Imagine wanting, like, a very specific reaction from a girl like that. | ||
| Like, imagine if a girl's a tractor, her tits poke out. | ||
| Wouldn't that be wild? | ||
| It's kind of a crazed thing with men. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| We grow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can see. | ||
| Well, they have a reaction too, but you can't just go like, hey, miss, I'm just checking to see if you like me. | ||
| Just go to the front of her pants and be like, dry as a biscuit, sorry. | ||
| Misread that. | ||
| It's wild that that needs to happen in order to have sex and make babies. | ||
| It's wild that that thing needs to change. | ||
| Because some animals have a bone there. | ||
| You can just go anytime. | ||
| Yeah, like, deers have a penis bone. | ||
| Like, a lot of animals have bones. | ||
| Yeah, is there ever in the wild fucking where they can't get it up? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think they can survive that way. | ||
| So I think they're hard all the time. | ||
| They just poke it out. | ||
| Or when it's necessary, when it's needed. | ||
| I don't think it's like... | ||
| I don't think a horse looks at a mare and is like... | ||
| Well, they definitely get horny when the other ones are in heat. | ||
| But the thing is that they can hit it so quick because they have a bone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just pound in there and go... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever seen... | ||
| Steve Rinella gave me one to stir coffee with. | ||
| It's like a little... | ||
| Dick bone? | ||
| Dick bone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have fun friends. | ||
| Different animals. | ||
| How many different animals have dick bones? | ||
| Ari got me a record player once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We had that walrus one. | |
| Yeah, we had a walrus one. | ||
| We still have that. | ||
| We have a giant walrus dick bone. | ||
| Oh, it's curved, too. | ||
| It couldn't even go in straight. | ||
| Swims in ya. | ||
| That's a hard-ass thing too, man. | ||
| That's a heavy thing. | ||
| That's how walruses fuck. | ||
| I'm so happy that chick is holding it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's super shiny. | |
| But imagine that. | ||
| They have a giant bone. | ||
| That really does look like a double-sided dildo. | ||
| You ever seen a whale's dick? | ||
| Well, it's carved. | ||
| Whale's dicks are preposterous. | ||
| It's like as big as his room. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Have you ever seen a whale's dick? | ||
| I didn't realize that's hilarious. | ||
| Wait, the walrus bone is used for doing what? | ||
| It's like clubbing something? | ||
| No, getting that dick in there, son. | ||
| This one is like, penis-shaped. | ||
| They use it as a club? | ||
| Is that what it says? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Baculum. | |
| Yeah, baculum is what the penis bone is. | ||
| That's the technical name. | ||
| That's gotta be weird when you're in your second coat of shellac on your walrus dick, walrus dick club. | ||
| How nuts is that? | ||
| They have a bone in their body. | ||
| But if you think about it, like if you gotta mate quick, Predators are after you. | ||
| You can't just... | ||
| You've heard of a walrus? | ||
| Like, your odds of escaping sharks suck already. | ||
| That's a whale, dude? | ||
| Blue whale penis. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's so long! | ||
| It's so hairy! | ||
| Because it's hairy. | ||
| Deal with it. | ||
| It's got a violin end. | ||
| I would imagine that- Where is it on their body where they can mount somebody? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I think they probably have to go under. | ||
| And like bang it from underneath. | ||
| It's gotta be from behind. | ||
| Yeah, they have to go underneath. | ||
| They have to go like, I would imagine they'd have to go like this. | ||
| Like, here's the girl, and the male- Upside out or something? | ||
| And goes like that. | ||
| God, there's a video of whales fucking. | ||
| Gets under her and they match it. | ||
| And just like smash it up. | ||
| And it slides in there for a little bit. | ||
| I think we ought to have seen a picture of an upside down whale fucking. | ||
| I've never seen that. | ||
| I've seen whales, they can go in the water and do all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| Is it coming from behind like a refueling a jet? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I would say. | ||
| Underneath and upside down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Underneath. | |
| Do you... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There must be video. | ||
| Maybe they know to both go down in the water and they do it together. | ||
| Is it spreading semen in the water and it just swims through it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's how fish do it. | ||
| These are mammals. | ||
| So mammals have to breed and they give birth to the young, whereas fish just jizz eggs. | ||
| Don't worry, Ari. | ||
| These whales are all about the cream pie. | ||
| They're naturally cream pie animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's what they do. | ||
| Upside down. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And she flips over, and he's got to keep her in spot. | ||
| Oh, it's a scramble, because they're both real horny, and they can't stay in position because they don't have arms. | ||
| Because they don't have arms, yeah. | ||
| Wow, there he goes. | ||
| Oh, it's it. | ||
| It's it. | ||
| Cha-pow! | ||
| Oh, he's hitting it from the side. | ||
| I pictured missionary. | ||
| Look at his giant whale dick. | ||
| Oh, now they're married. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Now they have babies. | ||
| Now they're the happy couple. | ||
| It's wild how smart those fucking things are. | ||
| Those things are smart as shit. | ||
| You ever see them save a walrus that they were fucking with? | ||
| When they train their kids? | ||
| Yeah, they'll save it if they don't really want to eat it. | ||
| If one's not fully dead, put it back. | ||
| Yeah, if they don't want to eat it. | ||
| They know how to use ice shelves. | ||
| So one of them will get up to an ice shelf and they'll tip it so that the thing slides to them. | ||
| So they get their massive body and they're just sliding towards death. | ||
| They're super intelligent. | ||
| I went whale watching once in South Africa and then you pay all this money and no whales. | ||
| They don't give you your money back. | ||
| Sorry man, no whale. | ||
| If you want to see whales, Hawaii is a great place to see them. | ||
| You'll always see them there. | ||
| Whenever the time is that they're there for breeding or whatever it is, why they're there, there's parts of the year. | ||
| I think it's around November, if I remember correct, but I'm not sure if I do. | ||
| I've been there a few times before I've seen them. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You see them in the water splashing, you can take a boat towards them. | ||
| When I was in South Africa, we went to Seal Island, which is that only place where the sharks breach. | ||
| To like jump and grab the seals. | ||
| That was pretty wild. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I haven't seen that. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jimmy? | |
| Yeah, it's the only place where they, because the seals are all up on like this kind of barge almost, and they just jump out and grab them. | ||
| I love when they slide right at them. | ||
| The only place in the world where they breach the sharks. | ||
| I didn't even know sharks go to Alaska. | ||
| Not Alaska. | ||
| That was South Africa. | ||
| Oh, South Africa. | ||
| I thought it was Alaska. | ||
| That's how good this weight is. | ||
| How close did it legalizing here? | ||
| Sigh. | ||
| Um, I don't know. | ||
| Someone told me yesterday that under something like... | ||
| Look at these fucking monsters. | ||
| They're so scary. | ||
| Just beating it around. | ||
| I mean, what is scarier than sharks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just smashing things with their teeth. | |
| Those guys fishing recently, and they had their fish right at the, I think it was a giant tuna, right at the edge of the boat, and that great white just comes and steals it right at the last episode. | ||
| No, I haven't seen that. | ||
| Next, please. | ||
| They had to go just jump backwards like, what the fuck. | ||
| Motherfucker, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those things are so goddamn terrifying. | ||
| What a perfect eating machine. | ||
| Rows of teeth. | ||
| If one falls out they get another Oh not fall dude, right? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| My mother... | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look, this is amazing. | ||
| He could have fallen over. | ||
| He could have gotten dragged in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right here, they had no idea. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now they know. | |
| And he's like... | ||
| Jesus Christ, that's a big one too, man. | ||
| My mom, when I was younger, her and one of her friends, like girlfriends, went to the Bahamas to go be young girls, I guess. | ||
| And I went to go stay with family in Florida. | ||
| And that night, we went to go see, in the theater, Jaws 4. And my mom told me that day, she was like, you know, this is like no cell phones or anything. | ||
| It's like house phone. | ||
| You call once a day. | ||
| And my mom was like, oh, we're getting ready to go on a banana boat today and do whatever and it's going to be fun. | ||
| And then that night I went to go see Jaws 4 with my uncle and Jaws particularly. | ||
| I didn't know what a banana boat was when she said it. | ||
| But in that movie there's a scene with a banana boat and that's when he shows up to the Bahamas Jaws and eats everybody off of a banana boat. | ||
| And I just cried the rest of the night. | ||
| I was like, nine. | ||
| Oh my god, that's awful. | ||
| You couldn't get a horn. | ||
| Look how bad it looks! | ||
| Oh my god, those movies were so bad. | ||
| Once it got to Jaws 4, how nutty did it get? | ||
| Do you remember the storyline? | ||
| Well, you go from one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Jaws 1. And by the time you get to Jaws 3D, it's a disaster. | ||
| Jaws 2 was a stretch. | ||
| Jaws 2 was wacky. | ||
| He's just standing in place, the shark. | ||
| How many people were in Jaws 2? | ||
| How many of the original people? | ||
| You lost the captain because he died. | ||
| That guy was the shit. | ||
| Roy Schreider, the wife. | ||
| So, Roy and the wife are back for two. | ||
| It's like one of the younger guys, because he was like, something happened to me last year. | ||
| It's so crazy how a good movie like Roy Schreider in the first Jaws is amazing because it's a great movie. | ||
| That old man was the best. | ||
| But then by the time you get to the other Jaws, is he still amazing? | ||
| I might be wrong with this, but I think Jaws, the idea is he took everything from this family. | ||
| Does Roy Schreider die in part two? | ||
| Does he? | ||
| I don't know if he did. | ||
| They have two kids. | ||
| I think one dies in part two in the beginning in an attack. | ||
| And then the beginning of the revenge, the Bahamas one, I think it kills his other kid or bites his arm. | ||
| Imagine if sharks were like crows where they recognize people that suck. | ||
| Get rid of that one. | ||
| They target them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's what crows do. | ||
| They see, like, you suck in general? | ||
| If you do something to crows, they'll fucking squawk when you come around. | ||
| Like, if someone, like, shot, like, a crow with a BB gun or something like that, and the crows saw it happen, And the person like was there with the crow. | ||
| That person will get like swooped on by other crows. | ||
| Like when they go out, the crows will like swoop on them and get in their face. | ||
| Vengeance? | ||
| Yeah, like trying to fuck with them. | ||
| You ever see the magpies swoop in... | ||
| Is this 2? | ||
| This is the end of 2 where they kill it with the power cable or some shit like that. | ||
| Get out, go to the water. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| Come on, you son of a bitch. | ||
| Oh, I thought this was the end of 1. Oh, that's right. | ||
| And it bites it and he throws the cable in its mouth. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Your dad's crazy. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Dad! | ||
| He has to look over. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You can hear that far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I remember the way they show it. | |
| Zip, zip, zip. | ||
| Oh my god, that's the worst special effects of all time. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| That is so stupid. | ||
| And what a dumb strategy. | ||
| What if the shark dives under that rope? | ||
| What if it's not stupid? | ||
| When he comes up, his nose just knocks the thing out of your hands. | ||
| Did you ever see the ones where the guys are in the shark cage and the shark goes through the bottom of the shark cage? | ||
| Just destroys it. | ||
| It was real recent and almost got this guy's leg. | ||
| It's like literally goes through the bottom, snashing its teeth like inches from this guy's leg. | ||
| You're fucking with dinosaurs. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Those things have been around for a hundred million years plus. | ||
| Those fucking things have been around forever. | ||
| They survived the dinosaurs. | ||
| They throw chum in the water to get them to swim around. | ||
| And then your legs could stick out of the bottom. | ||
| Bro, those things are crazy. | ||
| They're just feeding machines to swim. | ||
| They can't even stop. | ||
| They stop and die. | ||
| Guys like Steve-O and them put like... | ||
| They put like steak in their pants and then jump in. | ||
| Hook themselves by the chin. | ||
| Yeah, hook themselves by the chin and jump in and then accidentally like, remember that one? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He kicked him in the fucking face. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this thing goes through the cage. | ||
| It's destroyed. | ||
| He's got to get the fuck out now. | ||
| Watch this again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they put him in a plexigas glass cage for some reason. | |
| This is so insane that they did this. | ||
| So insane. | ||
| And look at that thing. | ||
| So watch how it comes through the bottom. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He thinks he's got something. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| It was going for him, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was going for him. | ||
| It shattered it. | ||
| It was going for him and missed. | ||
| That's all that was. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Look at its mouth open. | ||
| Just smashes right through the glass. | ||
| It sees all that fish and thinks this is a big piece of fish that's just sitting there and no one's eating it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So I'll just go eat that and he gets out of the way just in time, dude. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Just in time. | ||
| Almost a force pushed him up. | ||
| It wasn't even scurrying out of the way. | ||
| Right, it was the box breaking and kind of led him slightly to the side and he missed it. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| How did that guy survive that? | ||
| How did he get out of there? | ||
| That is fucking insane. | ||
| Yeah, pull him out immediately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all those things do, just swim and eat, swim and eat. | |
| Probably just a blank crunching noise in their brain. | ||
| Probably no instincts at all. | ||
| Don't care. | ||
| Is there any evidence of fish being emotional in any way at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or is it pure just a squid? | ||
| This lady said this once. | ||
| This lady said this once. | ||
| She goes, I eat fish because they don't take care of their kids. | ||
| I was like, it's true! | ||
| She's like, yeah, if I need protein, I'll eat fish. | ||
| I'm not connected to them. | ||
| I'm like, that's true. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| If you see a mama deer taking care of her baby deer, you're like, I get it. | ||
| Kosher, you can eat anything. | ||
| You have to kill everything a certain way except fish. | ||
| You can eat alive if you want. | ||
| You can just take a bite out of one. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| Kosher would mean you'd have to eat agriculture animals, right? | ||
| Because you couldn't hunt. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For animals, except fish. | ||
| But what would you do in a case of an apocalypse? | ||
| Would you stick with that? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Danger. | |
| Can't start to death. | ||
| What would people do? | ||
| Do you have rules where you're allowed to get out of stuff? | ||
| Yeah, if you're going to die, you can do a lot of stuff. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, you can't rape. | ||
| Can you eat a person with cheese? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| People eating cheese doesn't go together? | ||
| It's like, ooh, that's the line. | ||
| That's our number one, right? | ||
| Like eating people. | ||
| When people eat people. | ||
| What do we eat people? | ||
| Well, that's like the Donner Party type shit. | ||
| They eat each other, stay alive. | ||
| And then they made it. | ||
| So you're on the other side. | ||
| You live, but you live because you ate your friend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's tough. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, a lot of them were waiting for people to die and then eating them. | ||
| And I think some people probably just sacrificed themselves. | ||
| I think some of those people were like, let's have a rule where nobody eats own family. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| Is there a circumstance that's not like a dire situation where you would try cooked human flesh in any way? | ||
| I'm not really interested in that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| It just doesn't seem like a road you want to go down. | ||
| What if it's your favorite food? | ||
| You find out. | ||
| What if you eat it and you're like, holy shit. | ||
| Is this really people? | ||
| This is fucking amazing. | ||
| It is delicious. | ||
| The perfect combo of salty and sweet. | ||
| Did you see the menu? | ||
| Slow roast. | ||
| The movie The Menu? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| Great movie, right? | ||
| That was a wild ass movie. | ||
| Like, that's the kind of movie where they would serve you human flesh. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Ari said that we brought it up today on the way here because he was saying him and Bobby Kelly went to the Copenhagen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of based on that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it is. | |
| It's so up its own ass. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where were you guys? | |
| But they do everything great. | ||
| Denmark. | ||
| It's in Denmark? | ||
| Oh, Copenhagen? | ||
| He just closed. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Noma. | ||
| Oh, that's the guy that just decided out of the blue to stop. | ||
| Second time. | ||
| He's like the greatest chef in the world. | ||
| Second time? | ||
| First time he stopped, he won like the best restaurant in the world like three out of four years. | ||
| And then he was like, I'm out. | ||
| And then like a couple years later he came back. | ||
| And then he said like, there's no way to do this like by paying everybody enough. | ||
| So he's like, you can't make profits that way? | ||
| He goes, you're right. | ||
| Actually, we'll just shut down. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, I thought about it. | ||
| This is weird to take advantage of people financially and then you can't operate otherwise. | ||
| What made it the best place? | ||
| Like things you would never combine ever? | ||
| I told you they used to peel walnuts. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean- It was a 26-course meal. | ||
| Experience things for sure, but I'm just saying like, is it like a mixture of like- They spared no expense. | ||
| They didn't overload it with tables. | ||
| They, like, moved it out so you had a great experience. | ||
| 26 courses. | ||
| They were like, we have a wine pairing menu. | ||
| And I was like, okay. | ||
| And Bobby's like, I'm an alcoholic. | ||
| And they go, we got a juice pairing menu for you, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Juice? | |
| And it's just like everything was taken care of. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, it was like two and a half hours. | ||
| How much is it per person? | ||
| $500. | ||
| That's actually not as bad as I thought, though, really. | ||
| Very interesting. | ||
| They have professional chefs peeling walnuts so you don't get the little shells thing stuck in your teeth. | ||
| Did you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed another really good restaurant? | ||
| Like, was it an added part of the experience to have all those courses? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was an adventure. | ||
| Fried moss. | ||
| Ants to mimic citrus. | ||
| How are the fries? | ||
| Skin on? | ||
| And you leave hungry. | ||
| That's what everybody says, and it's true. | ||
| What makes the best restaurant in the world? | ||
| Oh, is that caviar and a whale stick? | ||
| Reindeer brain jelly. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, everything's local. | ||
| He started local. | ||
| Reindeer brain jelly. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| No, no it ain't. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| But it's not very filling. | ||
| Wait, what are they saying? | ||
| Hang on there. | ||
| Beetle made from berry hides and black garlic. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I didn't have that one. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Flower pot. | ||
| Rose-scented cake in the shape of a flower pot. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're showing off. | |
| You're just showing off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Duck brain. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Duck feet candies. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No. | ||
| What is that one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chicken feet. | |
| Nope. | ||
| Is that chicken feet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Duck feet. | ||
| Fudge made from smoked duck fat. | ||
| Wait, is it just shaped like duck feet? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, it's just shaped like duck feet. | ||
| But I mean, that's insane. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So that's just a different kind of experience. | ||
| It's all experiential. | ||
| It's also not bad. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| But like, it's for the adventure. | ||
| I'm like, I'm halfway into those. | ||
| I'm like, I just want to stay. | ||
| I'm gonna get a fucking red wine. | ||
| Goodbye medium rare. | ||
| Give me a glass of wine. | ||
| I'm fucking simple. | ||
| Me and Ari went to the blind place in Toronto once. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Complete in the darkness. | ||
| What? | ||
| Blind waiters and waitresses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They lead you to behind a curtain, then another curtain, then another pitch black. | ||
| They seat you down. | ||
| They feel your way down. | ||
| Absolute black. | ||
| Is that what you have to do? | ||
| Au Noir? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I did one in Vietnam once and then we did this together. | ||
| So how do you see where you're going? | ||
| They lead you. | ||
| They lead you. | ||
| What if you have to pee? | ||
| You tell them and they'll lead you. | ||
| They'll lead you to the bathroom. | ||
| How do you know where you're pissing? | ||
| How do you know when you're done wiping your ass? | ||
| You can't take a dump there, dude. | ||
| They take you out to the lobby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| Don't take a dump in a nice restaurant. | ||
| What if you have to take a dump? | ||
| You gonna hold it in to get a shit like that lady on OnlyFans? | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| Sometimes you have to take a shit. | ||
| Yeah, true. | ||
| Ari, you've shit in restaurants that are really nice before. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| I take it back. | ||
| I take it back. | ||
| You'll have to shit in the dark. | ||
| See, you'd only not do it because it's a blind restaurant. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the only thing. | ||
| At a regular restaurant, of course you take a shit, right? | ||
| If you went to Noma... | ||
| And I was like, I have to use the restroom. | ||
| I'm not gonna not enjoy this. | ||
| I'll be back in 18 minutes. | ||
| Isn't that why you have a toilet? | ||
| So I can take a shit? | ||
| But not at that blind place. | ||
| You'd be like, how do I know when I'm done wiping my ass? | ||
| What if I accidentally shit in my pants? | ||
| What if a little pinch of a log... | ||
| Maybe they give you light in the bathroom. | ||
| Maybe your underwear are destroyed and you have to take them off and smell them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Every time you wipe, you gotta clap your cheeks and see if it makes a mucky noise. | ||
| And then maybe you find out where the sink is to wash your fucking hands in the dark. | ||
| They have to have a sink there, too. | ||
| Yeah, they gotta have a sink. | ||
| You have to wash your hands. | ||
| So then you have to take your underwear and put them in the sink. | ||
| Maybe they go in there with you. | ||
| You smell your underwear and you don't like what you're smelling. | ||
| You're pitch black. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Is this shit? | ||
| Did I shit my pants? | ||
| Then you can wash your underwear. | ||
| Your wet underwear in that sink and hope you got it good. | ||
| Dry it off with paper towels. | ||
| Put it back on. | ||
| Why are you trying to save the underwear? | ||
| You don't have to worry about aesthetics. | ||
| You gotta worry about smell. | ||
| Smell should be problem number one you're trying to solve. | ||
| You're gonna need some soap on your underwear. | ||
| Cover it up with some dirt. | ||
| And then as you're leaving, the blind people are going, what the fuck were you doing in there, man? | ||
| And they can smell better than regular people, so they know. | ||
| Oh, they know. | ||
| They smell shit. | ||
| Yeah, you thought you got it off, but you didn't. | ||
| I thought it was weird when we were eating, if me and Ari would stop talking for a minute, you could almost like... | ||
| Robotically zone in on conversations coming from different places. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Listening to other people and you can really hear it clearly. | ||
| But if you could shoot, then you could almost go. | ||
| There's also someone behind talking. | ||
| You can almost focus in. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| So are you eating with your hands? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or are you using forks? | |
| You get a fork and knife. | ||
| Maybe just spoons? | ||
| No, knife. | ||
| Forty spoons, yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| There was once we were gonna try each other's drink, so we're like, let's try this, let's pass it, but it's like, you have no idea, so you're just passing, I'm sliding mine over, I'm sliding, and then you're going back and forth, waiting slowly to touch his hand, and I'm like, how am I not getting it? | ||
| It's that dark. | ||
| How am I not getting it? | ||
| Pitch black. | ||
| And then he goes, How far up are you? | ||
| I'm like, up? | ||
| Why are you including up? | ||
| First of all, it wasn't drinks. | ||
| It was something on our forks. | ||
| And I wasn't even thinking of that I was doing that, because Ari definitely is down here trying to, like, you know, feel our hands touch. | ||
| And I'm apparently just like, where's your face? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, get in the air! | |
| Oh my god, you could have stabbed his eyes out! | ||
| Up? | ||
| Don't bro up at all! | ||
| Oh my god, up. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| What a novel concept. | ||
| Yeah, you couldn't tell what you were eating. | ||
| You were just guessing based on smell and taste. | ||
| But that's what I thought was interesting. | ||
| I was wrong on almost everything. | ||
| What they do is they ask you if you want to know or if you want to be surprised. | ||
| So I was like, we were both surprised. | ||
| And they ask you afterwards, what do you think that was? | ||
| And I mean, it was like pork. | ||
| And they're like, chicken. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Was that turkey? | ||
| That was sausage. | ||
| Everything was like nothing was right. | ||
| And you're like, if you can't see, it's amazing how much it affected that. | ||
| One that affects people that eat like fake meat. | ||
| What they think they're eating meat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It makes it taste better? | ||
| If you gave someone one of them fake meat burgers and didn't tell them, how much would they be able to tell? | ||
| Because most of the time when people are eating a Beyond Meat burger, they know, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You do it on purpose. | ||
| But if you lie to them? | ||
| Yeah, if you just gave it to them, how much would they know? | ||
| Especially, they might just think it's a bland burger. | ||
| Especially if it's got like, you put fucking all kinds of sauce and pickles and shit on it. | ||
| I had the one from Burger King once, the Impossible Whopper. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| It tastes identical because you realize it's nothing to do with the meat anyway. | ||
| It's the way they stack that, you know, the mayo and whatever shit on it. | ||
| Yeah, all the sugars. | ||
| I had a quarter pounder, like, about a year ago. | ||
| I've never eaten one of those. | ||
| And I pulled into it. | ||
| I was fucking starving. | ||
| I'm like, let's go. | ||
| Come on, let me eat this stuff. | ||
| I put a quarter pounder in fries, and I was amazed at how sweet it tasted. | ||
| I'm like, it feels like there's sugar in this. | ||
| Like, do they put sugar in quarter pounders? | ||
| Oh, gotta be. | ||
| Gotta be. | ||
| But I was eating it, and I was like, this is kind of like, it was delicious, first of all. | ||
| But it was also, it was like, this is kind of like a pastry and a burger at the same time. | ||
| It was so sweet. | ||
| It was good, though. | ||
| I mean, I get it. | ||
| Obviously, yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It seems like... | ||
| No one's going like, hmm, I learned to like it. | ||
| 9 grams of sugar. | ||
| 9 grams of sugar. | ||
| That seems like... | ||
| How much is that next to a roll though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what it's in. | |
| It could be in the bread. | ||
| That's nothing compared to like a can of coke. | ||
| But it's sweet enough that I was noticing it because most of the time like I'm like an in-and-out guy. | ||
| I like in-and-out with like lettuce wraps. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| It's just meat and cheese and... | ||
| The guy with Five Guys makes a mean lettuce wrap too. | ||
| Five Guys has the best though. | ||
| They're all coming around. | ||
| But Five Guys has jalapenos. | ||
| They have better fries. | ||
| Five Guys has those Cajun fries. | ||
| Five Guys does? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Skin on though, not my jam. | ||
| I'll take it. | ||
| Man, Ari's got an old Jewish bladder. | ||
| Well, it was me yesterday. | ||
| Sometimes you just fuck up and you over hydrate. | ||
| Yesterday I had to pee three fucking times in the first three hours. | ||
| Just drank too much water. | ||
| My age is hitting me that I don't have to pee a lot, but when I have to pee, we gotta get there now. | ||
| Yeah, as long as it's just pee. | ||
| When I have to pee, I have to go. | ||
| It's becoming shit. | ||
| Dude, congratulations. | ||
| That club is beautiful. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Everything everybody said it was, too, which is... | ||
| The energy down here is good right now for comedy. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of good people here and a lot of funny people that are actually working there, which is fun, too. | ||
| Well, you guys walked in the... | ||
| You guys are getting some Rebecca's down here with the creek and everything, and like... | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| I'd come down here and do gigs before you came down here, and with the scene changing, there was a little bit of pushback in the beginning. | ||
| I don't know if you got it on your plate at all, but it was funny. | ||
| Some of the comics in Austin, you'd be like, hey, it's becoming a real scene down there. | ||
| And it's like, yeah, for this batch of people. | ||
| It seemed like the cause of the divide that I didn't know was... | ||
| Not even like a... | ||
| It was already that thing in New York, I felt like. | ||
| You're always gonna have people when there's a lot of shows that only have like four or five people, like the Joe Rogan and Friends shows that I was doing at the Vulcan. | ||
| The people that are just left out. | ||
| Yeah, there's not enough data points. | ||
| There's not enough spots. | ||
| That's part of the reason why we decided to do two open mic nights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love it. | |
| So we have open mic night on Sunday and Monday. | ||
| And then, obviously, there's Kill Tony, which is the cornerstone of the comedy scene because that's where the new people, a lot of times, that's where they get their first set and they're doing it live on fucking YouTube. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's a great fucking fun show and it was awesome watching you guys. | ||
| Smart to have a open mic right there. | ||
| They're there for it anyway. | ||
| Why make them waste their night if they don't get drawn? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| This way you got a chance to do the open mic. | ||
| You got a chance to do Kill Tony. | ||
| There's another open mic on Sunday. | ||
| The way it's set up, it's set up to foster new talent, too. | ||
| It's not just set up to take care of existing talent. | ||
| It's set up so that you create a nice comedy environment where people can go and see guys like Shane Gillis, see guys like you guys go up, see guys like Greg Fitzsimmons or Schultz was here last week. | ||
| It was fucking amazing. | ||
| They get to see these people coming to town. | ||
| You have to see Dave Chappelle show up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, they're getting to see, like, the cream of the crop come in and fuck around. | ||
| That's why she used to place in the door for that reason, to see better comics. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Because it's a massive part of the education. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, we wanted to make sure that that was, like, a big part of what we were doing. | ||
| Dude, there's a swarm of employees. | ||
| Just like all comics, I assume, or some level of it. | ||
| Just taking care of everything. | ||
| And they get to punch out. | ||
| Like, if they have a set, they can go punch out. | ||
| Love that. | ||
| And come back. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, if you have a set across town, just punch out, come back. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, don't waste the night. | ||
| Do a set. | ||
| Yeah, the whole idea is that it's an environment for growing new people and for spreading comedy. | ||
| A lot of comics, particularly in the beginning, They need something that they can believe in and count on. | ||
| And you don't necessarily get that if someone's doing these pop-up shows here or there. | ||
| You're like, how am I included in this? | ||
| How can I get included in this? | ||
| And the only way is you have to have open mics. | ||
| You have to have open mics. | ||
| It's the only way. | ||
| And then on top of open mics, you have to have little satellite rooms. | ||
| There's got to be a way you can kind of branch out. | ||
| This guy's got a room here, he's got a room there. | ||
| And you make this, you network with the other comics that are doing that, and you put together a fucking act. | ||
| But you want to know that there's like, what's the scene? | ||
| What's the community? | ||
| How many good comics are around here? | ||
| Can I learn from these people? | ||
| Because if you're stuck in a place where you're the funniest guy in town, you're in some weird spot in the middle of nowhere, you gotta get out of there, right? | ||
| If you want to grow as a comic, you're not gonna grow in a vacuum. | ||
| You're not gonna grow in a vacuum. | ||
| But do you think, that's what I mean, because it used to be obviously always they'd push you to the coast, New York or L.A. That's kind of like over now. | ||
| Do you think it's as like, here in Nashville is the same difference at this point as far as like... | ||
| I don't know what's going on in Nashville. | ||
| I mean, Nashville's Zany's, which is a great club. | ||
| It's been around forever. | ||
| It's one of the best in the country. | ||
| But I don't know what the scene is other than Zany's. | ||
| I don't know much either. | ||
| There's a lot of clubs here now. | ||
| It's bigger here. | ||
| It's a lot bigger here. | ||
| There's a lot of clubs here now. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| There's a lot of world-class comedians that moved here. | ||
| It's kind of different. | ||
| And it's just slick. | ||
| I just want to make it a great place for everybody. | ||
| Fun for what we love to do. | ||
| That's what we loved the most about the store was the hang, the camaraderie. | ||
| We were just always fucking around, always laughing, always having fun. | ||
| It was already a fun hang. | ||
| Yeah, and we also watch each other's sets. | ||
| I like that new thing. | ||
| We talk about a new bit. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| But New York was the best gym, is the way I would put it, for comedy, because of the availability of stage time. | ||
| You could kind of keep going up from 3 p.m. | ||
| if you wanted to, until 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And I don't think that's even true at all anymore, that you need to be in that scene now at all. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| You could really get full-on successful and never leave your... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hometown? | |
| Hometown's the wrong thing, but I said there's just more avenues, I think, now. | ||
| But you can get up three times, four times a night here. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So you can get the spots now. | ||
| You definitely can here. | ||
| I mean, especially in that one area. | ||
| You've got the creek, Creek in the Cave, which is right there, right next to us. | ||
| Then you've got Vulcan, which is also like half a block away from us. | ||
| And then you have Red Band's room, the Sunset Strip. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Sunset Room? | ||
| Sunset Strip. | ||
| Sunset Strip ACX. Sunset Strip Room. | ||
| And that's right next to us. | ||
| That's 500 seats. | ||
| Plus bar shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's plenty of shows. | ||
| There's also the Velveeta Room. | ||
| I haven't been to that. | ||
| Ron White says it's a place called the Green Room that's a small spot that's right over there. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| So there's a lot of spots. | ||
| And then you're always going to have the out-of-town stuff. | ||
| You're always going to have someone's doing a comedy show in Dripping Springs. | ||
| Someone's doing a comedy show here. | ||
| There's a bar. | ||
| They're hiring comedians. | ||
| But the industry is not leaving LA. That's what I wonder if it's going to go like that ever. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| If there's people here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree with you. | |
| The industry is kind of podcasts. | ||
| For us, the industry is podcasts. | ||
| The industry is podcasts and stand-up. | ||
| That's the industry for us. | ||
| We think of the industry as like someone's going to hire us to do something outside of doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Which is like, is that really what you want? | ||
| It sounds like, which I don't care about, like auditioning for movies or TV stuff. | ||
| It's never been my deal anyway. | ||
| If it is your deal, that's the place to be. | ||
| But at this point, too, it's all Zoom on that shit. | ||
| You just have to fly in for the final meeting. | ||
| Yeah, you're not wrong. | ||
| Yeah, but you've got to network. | ||
| If you want to make it as an actor... | ||
| God, those sickening fucking networking parties of my life are still going on. | ||
| You have to go to those things. | ||
| If you're someone in the beginning, you want the casting people to like you, you want the executives to like you. | ||
| You're like, oh, that Jay's a charming guy. | ||
| He's really fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, you'd go to these things and they'd like you because you'd hang out with them and talk shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Industry laughter is the worst feeling in the world. | ||
| All trying to have a good time. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Literal vampires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Yep. | ||
| Literal vampires. | ||
| Sucking the youth out of, like, one-two talent. | ||
| But that's the nature of the gig. | ||
| The nature of the gig is you've got to depend on other people to come up with stuff that you can get credit for. | ||
| That's the way that animal feeds. | ||
| 100%, dude. | ||
| It's the nature of the gig. | ||
| And, you know, you have enormous power. | ||
| When you're at a network, like, deciding what does and doesn't get on the air. | ||
| Everyone's gonna like ya. | ||
| And it's all so weird. | ||
| Like, you know, they have these weird sweetheart deals at production companies. | ||
| At least they did in the sitcom days. | ||
| And so, like, a crappy show would be on right after Friends, and it would be, like, number two in the ratings. | ||
| And everybody's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Because of the lead-in. | ||
| Because of the lead-in. | ||
| These are garbage shows. | ||
| Shows that were just like... | ||
| Single guy. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| There was a few of them. | ||
| They also ran shows. | ||
| It was like in between Seinfeld and Friends and in between Seinfeld and ER. Paul Sims from NewsRadio famously called it a shit sandwich. | ||
| It's like, it's what it is. | ||
| It's like they're sandwiching two good shows, Seinfeld and Friends. | ||
| The idea now of anything like that Abbott Elementary, I've never seen it, but I've heard good things about it and it's staying around. | ||
| It's popular. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's huge. | |
| But where does that happen anymore? | ||
| Like... | ||
| Where a sitcom should be anyone's endgame anymore. | ||
| I feel like if it's really good, people always love them. | ||
| If someone can come up with a really good, curb your enthusiasm, people always love them. | ||
| Sure, always Sonny was great. | ||
| They always love them. | ||
| They're just generally so fucking lame. | ||
| But they're few and far between, and a lot of times it's just like, it seems like, I feel like there's no learning from the mistakes, and I don't know if always, and I was just throwing in like, Let's make you best friends with the X. Retro. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| This guy was popular at this one point. | ||
| Throw him in another show. | ||
| John Cryer. | ||
| John Cryer. | ||
| Two and a half men. | ||
| It's just a weird life, man. | ||
| It's a weird life. | ||
| George Lopez is back. | ||
| The George Lopez show. | ||
| Now it's called Lopez vs. | ||
| Lopez. | ||
| You see a commercial for you at a bar sometimes and it'll come on mute and you're just like, this looks like a sketch. | ||
| It looks like they're playing a sketch of what a sitcom was. | ||
| It used to be the thing you wanted. | ||
| In the 90s when I came here, I was like, holy shit, you're on a sitcom. | ||
| The real thing was having your own sitcom. | ||
| Everybody wanted their own sitcom. | ||
| And you meet these other people that have their own sitcom, and they're like, whoa. | ||
| You got your own. | ||
| Almost the sign for failure, though, is when the name... | ||
| The Seinfeld model, people tried to use it. | ||
| Remember it was Clegghorn? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Costello. | ||
| Sue Costello had her own thing once. | ||
| I remember when I was on NewsRadio, Tom Rhodes had the Tom Rhodes Show. | ||
| He was a teacher. | ||
| I was like, dude, you got your own show. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I had known Tom from the clubs. | ||
| To see him have his own... | ||
| You have the Tom Rhodes Show. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Was that before or after he did that talk show overseas? | ||
| Before. | ||
| Well before. | ||
| Then that ended and he got a job offer there and he just loved Amsterdam, I think. | ||
| He still had the long hair when he was on the sitcom. | ||
| Oh yeah, beautiful hair. | ||
| Tom Rhodes is in the running for Coolest Guy in Comedy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You'd have to at least nominate him. | ||
| What a life. | ||
| What a life. | ||
| He's an interesting guy. | ||
| You follow him on Instagram. | ||
| He's always going to these interesting places. | ||
| He does a lot of traveling, takes photos of it. | ||
| I never think it's for comedy, but it always is. | ||
| Yeah, it's always for comedy. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| I'm going to Ponyang. | ||
| It's like, for what? | ||
| You want to see some famous thing? | ||
| That's smart, though. | ||
| See things, book a gig. | ||
| He had an album that was just bits about local places. | ||
| Like a Shanghai bit and then a fucking Mongolia bit for in that town or in that place. | ||
| And it was like 135 minutes. | ||
| Can you imagine doing comedy for Mongolians and they get mad at you? | ||
| You cross the line like, what? | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| They jump on archers on horseback coming at you. | ||
| You're so fucked. | ||
| You know how scary that would be? | ||
| You piss off a dude with a fur hat. | ||
| They'll piss off Mongols. | ||
| You get the Fu Manchus. | ||
| He's got a falcon on his wrist. | ||
| Get him! | ||
| Takes the mask off that fucking monster. | ||
| Shoulder pads of skulls. | ||
| Imagine they turn the lights on in that blind menu place. | ||
| That's what you get. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| It's all Mongols. | ||
| It's a horror! | ||
| They've been slicing human beings like a fucking ham. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Slicing pieces and serving it to you. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| The club is great, though, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I'm really excited. | ||
| I did a set in the other room, too. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| Got a good late-night OR vibe. | ||
| It's got a good late-night OR vibe in the little room. | ||
| The big room is not like the main room, but it's not like the OR. It's kind of like the OR on steroids. | ||
| It's just a larger OR, but the sound, it's a real honest room. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Set up great. | ||
| It feels like a balcony from on stage, but it's not. | ||
| Shout out to Louis C.K. because he gave me some really good advice about the setup. | ||
| He came while we're in the middle of construction. | ||
| We changed a couple of things because of his advice. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Yeah, we lowered the ceiling in the little room. | ||
| We made the stage smaller. | ||
| The stage was like four feet larger on each side. | ||
| He's like, why is it so big? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, why is it so big? | ||
| Let's go chop it up. | ||
| In the little room. | ||
| Yeah, I just said, just tell me what you think, and I'll do that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's like, lower the ceiling, like here, lower the ceiling to there, and then the other room, like lower it even further, and the other room, like, okay, lower it. | ||
| That's funny when someone gives you really expensive advice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He goes, say it, and I'll do it. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| I'd get rid of this wall. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Move it two inches. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just told me what he thought. | ||
| He was right. | ||
| He was thinking about it. | ||
| I was like, yeah, do it. | ||
| He's like, do it right the first time. | ||
| I'm like, yep. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Fix it before it opens. | ||
| Because I thought it would be okay the way it was, but it wouldn't be optimal. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| You're doing all this construction. | ||
| Why not make it optimal? | ||
| It just required a lot more shit. | ||
| A lot more stuff have to be in place. | ||
| But I mean, man, it's just run so right. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It looks like a, like it feels like a club, you know, like a real old, like this one works club. | ||
| Have you farmed out like the boss jobs enough that you don't feel like you have to have weird things with people ever? | ||
| Well, there's weird things. | ||
| You're always going to have weird things. | ||
| One of the great things about that building is the building itself. | ||
| There's something about that building, man. | ||
| There's something about these old, old, old buildings. | ||
| I feel like they've got There's some memory in that building. | ||
| Some abortions late night. | ||
| That's the story. | ||
| When we started right away, it was like, Jesus Christ, it feels like we've been here for like 10 years. | ||
| Everybody was kind of weirded out on their first set because it was just kind of crazy. | ||
| Like, oh my God, we're doing it. | ||
| Because we talked about doing it for two years. | ||
| So many years, it was around the corner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know what happened. | ||
| Now you know. | ||
| The cult. | ||
| The cult. | ||
| This gay hypnotist got in the way. | ||
| I slithered out of that fucking deal. | ||
| And I had to get a new place. | ||
| The building sank under a mound of cum. | ||
| And that was after I'd already hired everybody. | ||
| So I had to find another spot. | ||
| Oh, so you changed places. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it was gonna be out of town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the cult place. | |
| The cult place that we talked about earlier, that holy hell. | ||
| That was the original place. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| It's haunted by the ghosts of cheek implants. | ||
| Bro, haunted by all the sorrow of people who wasted 20 years doing that. | ||
| Following a dude. | ||
| It was so sad. | ||
| At the end of the documentary, when you see these people now regretting deeply their time in the cult. | ||
| They're years. | ||
| I gave my life to this man, and all I got was buttfucked. | ||
| That's too much for a t-shirt. | ||
| They all seem to agree that in the beginning it was awesome. | ||
| There were nice moments to it. | ||
| Just like the government. | ||
| 1776, in the beginning, it was awesome. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| You had your Second Amendment, you had your First Amendment. | ||
| But he liked the Charles Mansons. | ||
| As his mind went, since he was the leader, they would have went every direction he wanted to go. | ||
| If he goes, every day, we're going to go out and give flowers to people and tell them, like, put a smile on your face, it'll make things... | ||
| But he just started going, like, nah, race war. | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| Do you know the whole story of the Mansons story? | ||
| You should read this book called Chaos from Tom O'Neill. | ||
| It's Greg Fitzsimmons' neighbor. | ||
| You know that story? | ||
| He wrote a book about Manson and the CIA. Manson was literally trained in LSD. This guy, Jolly West, visited him in jail. | ||
| He was a part of a program they were doing. | ||
| They dosed him up with acid and then gave him acid to seduce these hippies. | ||
| And taught him strategies for like, don't do acid, but tell them you did, and then they do it, and this is how you control them. | ||
| He had guided help throughout his time, because they were trying to discredit the hippie movement and the anti-war movement, and they were trying to see if they could get a guy to convince hippies to be murderers. | ||
| Oh, to make them fear? | ||
| He got arrested. | ||
| He was on parole. | ||
| He got arrested multiple times. | ||
| And when he got arrested, they would always let him go. | ||
| And they would always say, we found out it was above our pay grade. | ||
| So they were making... | ||
| This is documented in this book called Chaos. | ||
| You've got to read this book. | ||
| Because this is not like wild assertions. | ||
| This is a guy who went on this rabbit hole for 20 years. | ||
| And he uncovered all the evidence about the case. | ||
| And he's like, there's real evidence that this MKUltra, Operation MKUltra mind control shit, that Manson was a part of that. | ||
| They were helping him. | ||
| Where did he get all this acid? | ||
| He was getting this acid, giving it to these kids. | ||
| How does he know how to control these people and get them to do things? | ||
| They taught him how to do it in prison. | ||
| They were never in their right mind, that's true. | ||
| There was never a clear mind in the place. | ||
| Everyone was burned out. | ||
| He programmed these people while they were high on acid and got them to kill people. | ||
| Wow, it worked. | ||
| He got really vulnerable, very gullible people. | ||
| You dose them up with acid. | ||
| I hate your garbage, man! | ||
| And then the next thing you know, you're fucking stabbing people because you feel like they're pigs. | ||
| The guy, when he did, I don't know if it was a Diane Sawyer, whatever the ones he did in jail, and then when it cuts to at one point, they go, I went on to ask a few more questions that he just did, and it's kind of like montages him pointing crazy and then doing like, like Elvis karate at one point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He must have been on such a fun level. | |
| There was a thing in the book where he threatened one of the Beach Boys because he wanted to be a musician. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| He wanted to be a musician. | ||
| It didn't work out for him. | ||
| So he was trying to kill one of the fucking Beach Boys. | ||
| I think it was Brian Wilson. | ||
| To replace him? | ||
| To punish him. | ||
| No, so it was the Beach Boys guy. | ||
| It was Brian Wilson's brother. | ||
| Whatever the other Wilson it was, I believe. | ||
| What did he accuse him of? | ||
| So, I think he just, like, loved getting his drugs and pussy that he would bring around. | ||
| Who would bring around? | ||
| Charles Manson. | ||
| Manson would bring around these chicks and whatever, and they'd party with the guys. | ||
| And then, you know, I think he gave them, like, a... | ||
| I think he brought one of his songs to the Beach Boys and they recorded it. | ||
| I think the Beach Boys recorded a song written, co-written at least, yeah. | ||
| Learn Never To Love was written by Charles Manson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you've ever heard this fact before without any details, you might think that Manson had some kind of career in the music industry before he went weird. | ||
| Those murders meant he was connected with a bunch of stars in Los Angeles, right? | ||
| But this connection was more than professional. | ||
| For a while, Beach Boy Dennis Wilson was actually sharing a house with the Manson family, Holy shit! | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's April 1968 when Wilson picked up a couple of hitchhiking women. | ||
| Have you ever seen Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? | ||
| Picture that scene where Brad Pitt's character picks up a Manson follower played by Margaret Qualley. | ||
| The women of the family used this tactic repeatedly to lure in new followers. | ||
| The two hitchhikers offered to come to Wilson's place. | ||
| Wilson didn't realize they'd take up residence following the one night stand or that their guru Charles and his other followers would move in as well. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Read the next paragraph. | ||
| Also, Pete Davidson's notch list. | ||
| God bless him, dude. | ||
| Fellow beach boy Brian Wilson would later describe coming to dinner at Dennis's place and seeing him with Manson and a bunch of Manson girls all naked. | ||
| An LSD orgy followed dinner and when he declined to take part and just went for a shower, a naked Charles tried to join him there and warned him that leaving the group was not an option. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You're fucking us. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Leaving the group was not an option. | ||
| No showers. | ||
| You're fucking us. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, and then the first thing... | ||
| Imagine Charles Manson in your house with a boner telling you it's time to fuck. | ||
| Get down here. | ||
| This is not an option. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| It's not an option. | ||
| Yeah, but what it was, I think, like... | ||
| Well, look at this. | ||
| Brian got the hell out of the house that night, but Dennis stayed behind, of course, and for a while he seemed trapped. | ||
| The family occupied his home for months, racking up close to a million dollars in expenses in today's money, including a large amount just on STD treatments. | ||
| Dennis publicly spoke highly of Manson and said he was happy that the family were relieving him of the burden of wealth, which sounds truly like something only a cult member would say. | ||
| They were relieving him of the burden? | ||
| You could just give it away. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And then the guy that usually ended up at Sharon Tate's was, I guess it was the producer that... | ||
| I think that Dennis guy was eventually like, okay, man, I'll try to get you a record deal. | ||
| And took it to whoever this producer was. | ||
| And the producer was like... | ||
| I think he was like not interested and then moved the next day. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And so they went to the wrong house. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't there to kill like Sharon Tate and then they just killed everybody in the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's so spooky. | ||
| He was like kill whoever's- Oh no, was that- Yeah, that was them. | ||
| Kill everybody in the house. | ||
| That was Tex Watson. | ||
| Tex Watson was the guy who killed most of the people, right? | ||
| And then there was Squeaky Fromm who tried to kill Nixon. | ||
| No, no, Ford. | ||
| She tried to kill Ford, right? | ||
| Is she one of the ones you can see her talk now and she's like, yeah, that was a weird decade, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I think some of them are so like... | ||
| Well, I know that she kept going up for parole and then I'm like, nah, player. | ||
| You're a little too wild. | ||
| There's old ladies now, it's so funny. | ||
| Like, yeah, you know. | ||
| It's the 60s, man. | ||
| She tried to kill Gerald Ford in 75. See if you can find a video of her talking. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Not bad. | ||
| Squeaky front. | ||
| Oh, she's young. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| But that's the thing, man, with these LSD cults. | ||
| Like, what they were doing was orchestrated. | ||
| Like, they were trying to figure out what was possible with LSD. And the best way to figure that out was to get someone to do it on a bunch of hippies. | ||
| And that way you could discredit the movement. | ||
| At the same time, you could also find out what strategies you can employ to get people to follow you. | ||
| And can you get people to murder people? | ||
| If you do this correctly. | ||
| You can also get it up to... | ||
| Fuck those dumpy broads he hung around. | ||
| More like squeaky frump. | ||
| The CIA, there's real evidence in this book that they ran a clinic in Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco. | ||
| Dosing people. | ||
| We know they were dosing people at brothels. | ||
| They did it at brothels. | ||
| They did this Operation Midnight Climax. | ||
| So these guys would go into these whorehouses, try to have sex with the lady, the lady would give them a drink, and the drink would have acid in it. | ||
| And they'd be tripping balls through a two-way mirror. | ||
| And they would study these guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this her talking? | |
| That's not her, is it? | ||
| No, the first one I think was her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought, well, maybe I'll bring a gun. | |
| And then I said to myself, are you going to shoot him? | ||
| And I said, I'm going to go see what's necessary. | ||
| So I had all these thoughts about what I wanted to accomplish and I just put the gun out and stuck it in there and there was no bullet in the chamber. | ||
| A Boondorf, a secret service agent, grabbed it and an interesting thing happened. | ||
| A guy... | ||
| You see what I mean though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
...high on marijuana. | |
| He was wearing a yellow suit. | ||
| And when they had me on the ground and I was telling them it's okay. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It didn't go up. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| The guy walked over and he picked up my hand and I was so relaxed. | ||
| Then he was talking to me and the Secret Service agent said, who are you? | ||
| He was the guy with the beard. | ||
| I always wanted to talk to him afterward. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, they're so like, they're like, yeah, well, what is everyone doing? | ||
| Is that lady out of jail, or did they film this in jail like that, which is really creepy if they did? | ||
| I think she's out of jail. | ||
| She must be out of jail. | ||
| I'm saying out of jail. | ||
| She must be out of jail. | ||
| There's no way... | ||
| If they wanted to do it in jail, they would make it look like you were in jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's far the fun. | ||
| I would just make it look not in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jailhouse interview. | |
| They really did go against... | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Jail clothes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So much more fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You want jail clothes. | ||
| They were against all of the ideas of hippies, though. | ||
| But wasn't that also sort of the thing? | ||
| Was they were supposed to be setting people up, right? | ||
| Like they were gonna go do violent crimes to blame... | ||
| There's a lot they did. | ||
| Black people to start the war. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot they did. | ||
| Charles thought he was gonna start a race war. | ||
| But there's a lot of what they were doing was orchestrated by him giving these people acid and telling them what to do and then him not doing acid. | ||
| And he was like guiding them. | ||
| It's really creepy. | ||
| It's almost wish that before he died he would have told the story of like how all that happened. | ||
| So he was like, you're not gonna make me make them do this thing. | ||
| I'll just not take the acid, then I'll make them do whatever I want. | ||
| Yeah, he would... | ||
| Look, first of all, those killings, he wasn't involved in those, but he might have killed some people. | ||
| There's some evidence that he probably killed someone somewhere along the line. | ||
| And then there was these people that were just lost kids. | ||
| Lost kids and getting dosed up with acid by a lifetime criminal. | ||
| A guy who was a con man his whole life. | ||
| Working in conjunction with the CIA, if that's true. | ||
| That is a fucking wild thing that happened. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that they did it to try to stop the anti-war movement and stop the hippie movement, but we know they did certain things like that. | ||
| Like, I had Rick Doblin from Maps on the other day, and he was explaining how the sweeping Schedule I Act of 1970, a lot of it was designed to stop protests and to stop the Black Panthers and to stop all these other people that were doing all these different things, like the anti-war people, because then they could arrest them. | ||
| They could arrest them for pot. | ||
| They could arrest them for mushrooms. | ||
| They could arrest them, and this is Schedule I shit now. | ||
| You're all fucked. | ||
| They're going away, yeah. | ||
| All the people that thought it was okay to take acid, nope. | ||
| Now you're going to jail. | ||
| And they could just round up everybody with these new tactics. | ||
| Get rid of them. | ||
| And say, hey, they want acid. | ||
| And people are like, oh, okay, we've got to get rid of them. | ||
| Also, people scatter, too. | ||
| Like, how committed are you to the cause? | ||
| If everybody's getting locked up by the government, you get the fuck out of town. | ||
| You abandon ship and start a real job. | ||
| A lot of people probably bailed on it. | ||
| That's what we wanted to do. | ||
| Many uncredited Manson family members. | ||
| And they do. | ||
| They pop up in, like, documentaries. | ||
| They go, yeah, you can see me in the back of one picture. | ||
| My name's Cliff. | ||
| We had a lot of family members. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| There's just some other guy who wasn't there that night. | ||
| He goes, no, I was back at the place getting some pussy from this new girl. | ||
| I heard they went out and killed somebody. | ||
| That's pretty nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right. | |
| What a crazy time, too, right? | ||
| Because you're relying on newspapers, right? | ||
| That's where you're getting your information from. | ||
| And, you know, there's a little briefing on the 5 o'clock news. | ||
| Nobody knows what the fuck is going on. | ||
| You're hearing word of mouth, right? | ||
| And you find out that these people are getting murdered in the Hollywood Hills by hippies. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| We gotta get rid of these hippies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| Oh my god, they're doing ass and they're murdering people. | ||
| It's a perfect plan. | ||
| If you really can get a guy like Manson and convince him that he's got to do this for you, and that's why he's free. | ||
| Like, we have you. | ||
| You're free. | ||
| Like, he gets arrested. | ||
| They get him out. | ||
| Look, you owe me, you piece of shit. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| Like, and then get him to do these things. | ||
| Get him to commit crimes. | ||
| Get him to murder people. | ||
| They were after that Polish artist, right? | ||
| Wojciech Wieckowski? | ||
| Weren't they trying to kill him? | ||
| Or was he like accidentally at the house? | ||
| But he got murdered, too. | ||
| In the Sharon Tate house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everyone in there, it was just like a kill whoever was there. | ||
| I think Manson found out when they went home that it was like, hey, that producer guy you're pissed off wasn't there. | ||
| He just moved. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| So was he trying to get one of the Wilson's? | ||
| That murder was pissing off by saying the guy who was like, I'm not interested in your music and I don't care. | ||
| And then he wasn't even there. | ||
| It seemed like it was Dennis Wilson brought him to, like, okay, fine, like, you know. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You're hooking me up so much, like, here's a producer. | ||
| And when the producer was, like, not interested, I think he got mad at Dennis Wilson. | ||
| And Dennis Wilson was like, I can only, like, bring you to the guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so his thing was to have them go kill him that night and his family. | ||
| Dennis Wilson. | ||
| No, this producer. | ||
| And the producer just happened to move. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Like they caught him on a day that he was moving or his address was listed wrong or something. | ||
| You know, it was just like... | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think you rented the house out, right? | ||
| Or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, cuz he said they just moved in and he was like Roman Polanski was off doing whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Doing whatever. | ||
| They said that's what killed the 60s, the spirit of the 60s. | ||
| There was a lot of those things that happened, but it was very orchestrated. | ||
| Like the fact that they were able to make everything schedule one. | ||
| We still have those things schedule one. | ||
| Oh, it's so annoying. | ||
| It's so long later. | ||
| It's 50 years later. | ||
| And those things are still Schedule 1. It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Also, 60s, so much young, deaf, and more important to people in society at the time. | ||
| The 27 Club and all those people kind of going down. | ||
| That killed the spirit of the 60s, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Everyone was just gone. | ||
| Like, oh, I guess this lifestyle's not good. | ||
| Yeah, you're like, this is a fun life of taking drugs and getting acid, and it's like, oh, everyone's fucking dying. | ||
| They're fucking killing Beatles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're killing the Beatles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When did they kill John? | ||
| That was 80, though. | ||
| That was in the 80s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it was 1980. Right outside his apartment building. | |
| Right outside. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| She still lives there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| How about Move? | ||
| Yeah, how about Move? | ||
| She still lives there? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Or maybe just sold it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe that was like a clever real estate ploy. | |
| Yeah, it's worth more now. | ||
| You know, like American Psycho style? | ||
| Remember with American Psycho, he goes back to that. | ||
| It was in the book, too. | ||
| It's even more graphic. | ||
| But he goes back to one of his apartments where he left a body, and it's missing. | ||
| It's all cleaned up. | ||
| It's all cleaned up, and the real estate agent's looking at him very funny. | ||
| So what are you doing here? | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| She still lives in the apartment building along with her son, Sean. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| It's probably a dope apartment. | ||
| Sean Lennon's like 45 years old now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's probably a dope apartment. | ||
| She lives with his mom. | ||
| Maybe they enjoy it. | ||
| Is that okay, Ari? | ||
| It's not, is what I'm saying. | ||
| No. | ||
| He doesn't like bringing girls home. | ||
| I have to imagine he breastfeeds still. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| He's like the chubby DJ one, right? | ||
| He's at the world record, we didn't know it. | ||
| All this time, that's what's been going on. | ||
| I love those ones. | ||
| He's been going for the Guinness Book. | ||
| Of longest breastfeedings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is the Guinness Book of longest time breastfeeding? | |
| Someone's gotta be 18. Not an individual session, but I mean, like, when did you stop? | ||
| Keep it going. | ||
| Stop lactating. | ||
| Because it's weird when you hear about kids that are five and you're like, what? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| He's how old? | ||
| If they keep sucking, it will eventually stop on its own. | ||
| It'll keep going. | ||
| I think it'll keep going. | ||
| We're so dumb. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're so dumb. | |
| We don't know. | ||
| I would imagine it would probably help keep it going, but eventually your body would be like, bitch, you had a baby five years ago. | ||
| Like, what are we doing? | ||
| Is there anything legal that can get involved if your mother, when you were 17, was like, he still drinks from the... | ||
| Do you get arrested? | ||
| Is that sexual at that point? | ||
|
unidentified
|
At a certain point in time, right? | |
| You say this is not sexual at all. | ||
| They broke breastfeeding records. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Breastfeed their children and are 13. Shut the fuck up. | |
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| What? | ||
| Until their children are 13. Wow. | ||
| Until their children are teenagers. | ||
| They can do crossovers. | ||
| That seems a little insane. | ||
| 12 year olds are pretty fucking smart. | ||
| They know that's weird. | ||
| Hey mom, I'm getting ready to learn my Bar Mitzvah Haftura. | ||
| Oh, the kid's going through puberty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Her son, Mason, is already going through puberty. | ||
| But for this duo, there's no reason to end their breastfeeding relationship. | ||
| They have had many occasions where people have said things to them or gave them dirty looks. | ||
| Was he sucking on her tit at the airport? | ||
| It's going to be odd. | ||
| It's going to be odd for people. | ||
| Well, her son, we're in line at a movie theater waiting to purchase their tickets and decided it was time for a breastfeeding session. | ||
| That's just showing off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit! | |
| That's showing off. | ||
| That's big dicking. | ||
| Come on, go to the bathroom. | ||
| It is not surprising that people found it to be a little awkward. | ||
| The ticket clerk shouted at her from behind the desk. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| To them her no... | ||
| Oh, to them her no? | ||
| I don't know what it's spelled wrong. | ||
| That she needed to stop doing that. | ||
| Mullen became angry because of his comment and told him, I am a mother and I have every right to feed my child in public. | ||
| Furthermore, lots of women are afraid to breastfeed in public now. | ||
| That's not the same thing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| 13-year-old kid. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so weird! | ||
| If I saw a lady... | ||
| If I saw a lady, a 13-year-old boy going into one of those pods at the airport to breastfeed, I'd rather find out he's fucking her. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I would be less disturbed than if it was his mom and he's sucking on his mom's tit. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's the Oedipus thing. | ||
| How do you go to school? | ||
| That's homeschooling for sure. | ||
| You can't go to school and... | ||
| You're gonna get a boner at that age. | ||
| That's one of the weirdest things that... | ||
| A mother's son. | ||
| You know in Bonobos? | ||
| Bonobos fuck everybody. | ||
| Everybody fucks everybody. | ||
| But the mothers won't fuck their sons. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Everyone's got a line. | ||
| Everybody fucks everybody. | ||
| Dads fuck all their kids. | ||
| They fuck their brother. | ||
| They fuck their sister. | ||
| They fuck everybody. | ||
| But the mothers are like, get the fuck away from me. | ||
| The aristocrats. | ||
| Shall we? | ||
| Let's wrap this up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Jay, congratulations on your special. | ||
| You're fucking hilarious. | ||
| I'm very excited to work with you tonight. | ||
| We're going to have a good time. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Ari, we're going to have a good fucking time. | ||
| Doing my storytelling show tonight? | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| That's going to be great. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Anything else to plug other than the specials on YouTube? | ||
| It's available right now. | ||
| Available right now. | ||
| My first production credit for stand-up. | ||
| What the fuck did you just say? | ||
| Those words, they fluted up. | ||
| I don't even remember. | ||
| YouTube.com slash Big J Oakerson. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Slow down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| You look beautiful up there. | ||
| Yeah, Ari jumped in, man. | ||
| It was pretty amazing. | ||
| He helped so much, so I hope he's proud of it. | ||
| I am very proud of it, dude. | ||
| You killed. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Yeah, I'm excited for y'all to see it, man. | ||
| Please tell friends. | ||
| Share it. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Comment. | ||
| I think that's gonna love it. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| My pleasure, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. |
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