March 1, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:34:57
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day Brian, you've got every kind of caffeinated beverage you know in the man in front of you What do you got? | |
| I got a smoothie and black rifle. | ||
| Two black rifles, and then you got a cooler. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, this is Liquid IV. Oh, look at you, you're trying to stay hydrated. | |
| I got Factor, I got Liquid IV, I got all the sponsors. | ||
| You've remained remarkably healthy. | ||
| Out of all the people I was worried about during COVID, it was you. | ||
| I was worried about you and Tim Dillon. | ||
| You were my number one and number two. | ||
| But you fucking coasted through it like it was nothing. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| My doctor said I have this thing where my metabolism is too strong and it's like fucking my gums up right now. | ||
| Your metabolism is fucking your gums up? | ||
| What kind of doctor are you going to? | ||
| A chiropractor? | ||
| You going to a witch doctor? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've actually been to like two dentists now because I'm dealing with it right now. | ||
| My gums are like gum disease type shit. | ||
| Receding gums? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I have to get a deep clean. | ||
| But they let me use nitrous for the first time at a doctor. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| Have you done nitrous at a doctor? | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How silly did you get? | ||
| You haven't done it yet? | ||
| I haven't done it yet. | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I ended up like being mean to the dentist. | ||
| Like I was like making jokes that weren't funny. | ||
| Like nobody was laughing. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I'm scared of. | ||
| Because you know, in college you do it and you fall out a window, you start like fishing around and shit. | ||
| How are you gonna do that at a dentist when they're trying to be precise with your teeth? | ||
| That's a good point, right? | ||
| Like you gotta take a wild chance that the person isn't out of their fucking mind if you're gonna dose them up with nitrous. | ||
| I don't know what it feels like. | ||
| Is that the same thing of whippets? | ||
| Oh, we can find out real quick. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's medical grade. | ||
| We have them here. | ||
| Yeah, Ari did Whippets on the show. | ||
| We're like, what are you doing? | ||
| I was like, is this even legal? | ||
| No. | ||
| He bought them somewhere. | ||
| Like, you could buy Whippets? | ||
| You could buy it for those machines for the whipped cream. | ||
| For whipped cream. | ||
| Yeah, it's just whipped cream. | ||
| That's what they call it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They call them Whippets? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I thought for whipped cream you get like a large one. | ||
| Well, that was just when I worked in a restaurant. | ||
| Well, the container's large, but then you unscrew the top, and it's just a little nitrous thing. | ||
| Dude, I worked at a Newport Creamery in Massachusetts, and everybody did Whippets. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I did it once. | ||
| I must have done it once. | ||
| I was like 15, 15, 16, I think I worked there. | ||
| And people would just go back there and get blasted off of Whippets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| How did Ari react to it? | ||
| He just started laughing, like couldn't stop laughing, and threw his head back. | ||
| He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| That's what he said it was like. | ||
| It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Norman hated it. | ||
| Norman did it. | ||
| He's like, fuck this. | ||
| This is terrible. | ||
| I feel awful. | ||
| I feel like I died. | ||
| I don't like it at all. | ||
| He was not interested. | ||
| Seeing Norman, I was like, I'm not doing it. | ||
| If he's reacting like that. | ||
| Not my thing. | ||
| And then we looked up all the possible things that could happen, and we're like, oh, there's a lot. | ||
| A lot of things that could go wrong. | ||
| I'm supposed to do that. | ||
| It fries your brain cells, too. | ||
| Well, they said that's a thing with amyl nitrate. | ||
| You know, amyl nitrate is poppers. | ||
| And apparently it's big in the gay community with gay dudes who love to party. | ||
| I don't know if it's still, but at one point in time... | ||
| It is. | ||
| We love it. | ||
| They would take amyl nitrate and somehow or another it helped them relax during sex. | ||
| Something, I don't remember what the, but apparently amyl nitrate's really bad for you, like destroys your immune system, destroys you, like it's really bad, gives you brain damage. | ||
| You know, it doesn't seem like, you know, there's some drugs that people will defend, you know, they'll talk about the beauty of heroin. | ||
| Like, there's no one out there defending amyl nitrate. | ||
| No one's like, it's the shit. | ||
| Like, it's changed my life. | ||
| Started doing amyl, got my fucking garage cleaned. | ||
| At least people who do speed, they get things done. | ||
| You know, like, people who do speed, they don't want to fucking organize the garage, putting shelves up and stuff, cleaning everything. | ||
| I need that. | ||
| Yeah, that's an Adderall thing, apparently. | ||
| People do Adderall and they start cleaning shit and organizing. | ||
| Not my thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you fucked with Adderall at all? | ||
| A couple times. | ||
| What about you? | ||
| No. | ||
| They had me on Ritalin when I was a kid. | ||
| Oh, that figures everything out. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Ritalin's not upper, right? | ||
| Or downer, I mean. | ||
| I think it's an upper. | ||
| Well, it's an upper, but supposedly back then they said that if you had ADD, it brings you down. | ||
| Like, it's supposed to mellow you out, but... | ||
| I hated it. | ||
| You know who talked about that is Henry Rollins. | ||
| Talked about it when he was a kid. | ||
| They put him on that. | ||
| He was like five years old. | ||
| He had him on it. | ||
| He was just all the time like fucking... | ||
| And the way he describes it, it's like, oh, when you see Henry, like, he's so intense. | ||
| Like, everything about him is intense. | ||
| Even the things he enjoys. | ||
| Like, when he talks about, like, listening to records, he's so intense. | ||
| It's like they just cranked his fucking brain up to ten. | ||
| When he was a little kid. | ||
| Which is wild, because you can kind of... | ||
| I mean, it's not a thing to do. | ||
| I'm not saying you should do it. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, you can manipulate a child's mind with those things, in a way. | ||
| Like, you have to be... | ||
| You're changing their reality, right? | ||
| You're changing the way they experience things. | ||
| That's got to change their view of life overall, in general. | ||
| Like, if your view of life over, like, you know how stoners are, some stoners, it's abusive. | ||
| They're abusive. | ||
| They're so high all the time that they're just, like, not making sense. | ||
| They, like, never make any sense. | ||
| Like, if you're doing that all the time, when you're, like, 14, 15, 16, which some kids do, that shit's terrible. | ||
| Terrible for you. | ||
| It doesn't prepare you for life at all. | ||
| Like, being a fucking full-timer when you're like 14, like, whoa. | ||
| Like, dude, regular reality is hard enough. | ||
| You're trying to figure out what the fuck is life? | ||
| What is a grown-up? | ||
| You know, what is a job? | ||
| Like, when does this start? | ||
| When does this, I need to get a job thing start? | ||
| Do you remember that feeling? | ||
| Like, the high school feeling? | ||
| Like, when do I need to be able to take care of myself? | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Terrifying feeling. | ||
| And nobody prepares you for it. | ||
| Nobody prepares you for this idea that you're gonna have to take care of yourself like what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I have to pay my own bills? | ||
| I have to get a job? | ||
| What do I do? | ||
| I don't know what to do! | ||
| Everybody's like gotta go to college. | ||
| I guess I gotta go to college. | ||
| I don't want to be a fucking loser. | ||
| I gotta go to college. | ||
| Remember those days? | ||
| I can remember days like when I would work like three different kind of jobs. | ||
| I'd like deliver newspapers, drive limos, and I would do, you know, occasionally I'd do construction if something came up and I could get away with doing it during the day, but I was always tired. | ||
| I hated those jobs. | ||
| But I was like, fuck, what do I do? | ||
| Like, I was trying to figure out what to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And if stand-up, if I didn't find stand-up, oh my god, I've been so fucked. | |
| I would have been so fucked. | ||
| I've been so fucked because my brain was not wired for jobs. | ||
| You know, some people can do it. | ||
| Some people are awesome at it. | ||
| Some people, they lock into a career and they're very happy. | ||
| Whatever it was, with my childhood, man, my childhood was just too chaotic. | ||
| I did not have any desire to be in any sort of order where I'm locked in. | ||
| I was a latchkey kid. | ||
| My parents just kind of let me out of the house. | ||
| Go, have fun. | ||
| Kids like that have zero desire for order. | ||
| Like, you're out there wilding with these other fucking ten-year-olds out in the street lighting buildings on fire accidentally and finding fireworks. | ||
| We did wild shit when we were kids. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That does not prepare you for an office job. | ||
| That prepares you for sitting in class going, fuck, I gotta get out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Dude, my kid told me on TikTok, she found this thing that was explaining how her educational system was developed. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| I go, you got this on TikTok? | ||
| I go, what did you find out? | ||
| And she was like, it was developed to turn people who are like these rural people into factory workers. | ||
| They were literally gearing education when they started public education to prepare these wild folk and put them in factories. | ||
| If you think about the kind of people that were alive, that were living in rural Columbus, Ohio, outside of Columbus, where you guys are from, in the 1900s. | ||
| What were those people like? | ||
| The farm people? | ||
| Like the people that were basically just like the pioneers. | ||
| They just stopped and they developed a small town. | ||
| And in like 1903, if you're in that fucking town, and they want to take one of those people and turn them into an office worker? | ||
| Like, good luck. | ||
| Youngstown was the number one steel producing city in the world through the like 30s 40s 50s and then one Monday it all closed so like everything that even it was built around was fucked completely like everything that their work ethic everything was just always go to high school and then you work in the steel mill your dad worked in the steel mill his dad How old were you when this was going down? | ||
| It was before I was born, but the dilapidation that it left left this. | ||
| Well, there was no, like, you can go chase your dreams. | ||
| You can move to LA or New York. | ||
| Like, that's all stuff that you had to, like, find out on your own. | ||
| Nobody, no teacher was like, you could do anything. | ||
| It was, it was... | ||
| Bleak. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that horrible? | ||
| It's such a bad vibe. | ||
| It's such a bad vibe for a child to grow up in that kind of a shattered dream vibe like a Detroit, Michigan after the factories got pulled out of there. | ||
| Like that Flint, Michigan documentary that Michael Moore did, Roger and Me, is amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| To me, that's his best work. | ||
| Because that was a young Roger who was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on to this place where he was from. | ||
| And so it was so real. | ||
| And he was so young in it. | ||
| It was really like, what year was Roger in me? | ||
| 89? | ||
| 92? | ||
| 93. Pull it up, Jamie. | ||
| 89. It's 89. As you're talking about it, though, I looked up something. | ||
| I typed in, what did I say? | ||
| Public education developed for factory workers. | ||
| People have been asking this question for a few years. | ||
| Hidden behind a Washington Post thing, it says, no, they are not modeled after factories. | ||
| Here's why. | ||
| Apparently, it came from a 2009 book called Weapons and Mass Instruction, and then it was echoed by someone in the New York Times. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So it's a false narrative? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| So how was it designed? | ||
| Was it designed – it seemed like it was designed for structure and to get people to pay attention to rules. | ||
| This article says that – that article is saying that they modeled the system after Prussia's – the United States adopted Prussia's school system, but that then goes and says that Prussia was not a highly industrialized – Country or interesting during that time period. | ||
| So the the accuracy of it seems a little off is kind of what I'm getting at. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So I wonder so so he hits it. | ||
| What about sorry? | ||
| It says here is in 2012 the American education model was actually copied from the 18th century Prussian model designed to create docile subjects and factory workers. | ||
| For what it's worth, Prussia was not highly industrialized when Frederick the Great formalized his education system in the late 1700s. | ||
| Very few places in the world were back then. | ||
| Training future factory workers, docile or not, was not really the point. | ||
| Nevertheless, industrialization is often touted as both the model and the rationale for public education system past and present, and by extension, it's part of a narrative that now contends that schools are no longer equipped to address the needs of a post-industrial world. | ||
| I looked it up because I've seen some other people, and I've started doing it too. | ||
| When I see something crazy on TikTok that seems like a wild fact, I'm like, holy shit. | ||
| You gotta look it up. | ||
| That's the TikTok filter. | ||
| Yeah, the TikTok thing. | ||
| There's no one who's checking on TikTok. | ||
| TikTok's fun, but man, have you ever watched that guy where it's this guy with a beard and he's a little bit bigger. | ||
| He's like, this guy, check this video out. | ||
| We need to find this person. | ||
| He's pretty famous. | ||
| No, I haven't seen him. | ||
| But he shows Karens or racist people like a clip. | ||
| And they hunt them down faster than any police like there was a guy in LA the Tesla guy who was running out Hitting people with their cars with baseball bats and they call them the text Tesla terrorists and they captured that guy faster than the police just from That's amazing What was this guy's motivation for attacking people with Teslas? | ||
| He's attacked, I think it was like 10 people over the last three years. | ||
| Women, everyone. | ||
| There's videos of him running out of the Tesla, going out of control. | ||
| So he's in a Tesla. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's in a Tesla and then he's attacking people. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's not like he's attacking people only in Teslas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got screwed up. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| He was in a Tesla. | ||
| They call him a Tesla terrorist. | ||
| So he just pulls over and starts beating on people? | ||
| Beating on people. | ||
| Random people. | ||
| Random people. | ||
| He's all amped up. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You could tell the guy's just juiced. | ||
| He's on Adderall, bro. | ||
| The other article said he was selling steroids. | ||
| No, selling steroids. | ||
| So he's getting roided up and beating people with bats randomly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| So he's selling steroids. | ||
| Tested, targeted at least six motorists, is now selling steroids, or was selling steroids. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I can't read. | ||
| Charges were filed Tuesday against a man caught on video attacking drivers in Los Angeles with a metal pole. | ||
| Prosecutors also revealed that Nathaniel Rademach had a previous road rage arrest in which steroids were allegedly found in his car. | ||
| Rademach, 36, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to four counts of assault by means of force to produce great bodily injury, four counts of criminal threats, and one felony count of vandalism. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| This video right here, he just comes out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| If you haven't seen the video, you should watch. | ||
| I don't even want to see it, man. | ||
| Just fucking crazy people. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| You ever see cart narcs? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Where the people don't put their cart back at the grocery store? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I found one the other day. | ||
| They literally did it to Perry from Windy City Heat. | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| No, but it makes sense. | ||
| It's unbelievable that Perry literally didn't put his cart away. | ||
| And then he's driving with a mask on, too. | ||
| And he gets so mad. | ||
| So it literally brings Perry. | ||
| And the guy doesn't even know it's Perry. | ||
| So Perry's being Perry. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you like a magnet instead? | |
| Now, sir. | ||
| Get your fucking shirt off my fucking car! | ||
| It goes on for a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so funny. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's wearing a Perry Caravello Live shirt. | |
| But very few people know what that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, sir. | |
| But the ones that do, it's unbelievable. | ||
| It's hilarious that he narked on himself wearing his own shirt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Essentially, he narked on himself. | ||
| He's wearing a mask. | ||
| He gets away free. | ||
| Without that, he gets away free. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He loses his mind. | ||
| In the end, he leaves a voicemail. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| Because there's a number on the cart nark thing. | ||
| What is your thought? | ||
| I never watched Windy City Heat. | ||
| I always thought, yeah, I was like, it's too mean. | ||
| Too mean to do that to a guy. | ||
| No, he wanted that. | ||
| That's what he wanted. | ||
| I know, but he's an insane person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think you could do that today? | ||
| Do you think the same people involved? | ||
| Do you think Jimmy Kimmel could be involved in something like that? | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| None of them would be involved. | ||
| Not Carson Daly. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Not any of them. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Because that's what kind of got him to the dance. | ||
| That kind of comedy, man show comedy for Kimmel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's funny that they... | ||
| They could never do that. | ||
| Bobcat wouldn't do it? | ||
| Bobcat directed it. | ||
| Bobcat might still do it. | ||
| Bobcat's crazy. | ||
| Bobcat is this ongoing feud with Seinfeld. | ||
| It's the strangest thing. | ||
| And I don't understand why. | ||
| I mean, I don't know either. | ||
| I know Bobcat much better than I know Seinfeld. | ||
| I don't know Seinfeld at all. | ||
| What's the beef? | ||
| I don't think I've ever met him. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I don't think I've ever met him. | ||
| Maybe I did like way, way, way back in the day. | ||
| I went to see him live when I was 19. I don't know what their beef is. | ||
| They have some sort of a beef. | ||
| And so they talk shit to each other all the time. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I had to follow Seinfeld at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Toughest follow I ever had in my entire life. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure, dude. | ||
| Because all he did was talk about how Mitzi, the owner... | ||
| Oh, that's right! | ||
| Told him he wasn't funny the last time he was there. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You were there for that set. | ||
| Crushing. | ||
| He buried me with a shovel. | ||
| Nothing like it ever. | ||
| Because he's telling them the whole story. | ||
| So even if the people didn't know how big of a deal it was that Seinfeld was in the OR, the comedy store, he told them. | ||
| This lady told me I wasn't funny. | ||
| Wonder how she's doing now. | ||
| All this stuff. | ||
| And she's like, everyone knows she's sick and old and... | ||
| I bought a house above her house so that she could see me driving a different car all the time. | ||
| I'd beep as I went by. | ||
| I'm still not funny! | ||
| I mean, he's destroying. | ||
| Destroying. | ||
| It was like evil, cool fucking Seinfeld. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Evil, cool Seinfeld. | ||
| I was buried with a shovel. | ||
| Everybody, 70% of the people left the room. | ||
| The other 30% were literally texting their family. | ||
| I just saw Seinfeld make his return to the comedy store that he hasn't been here in 35 years. | ||
| He just told the whole story. | ||
| I'm performing. | ||
| I remember a fruit fly. | ||
| The only laugh I got the set was from a door guy or whatever because a fruit fly went in front of me real slow in the lights and it was all lit up. | ||
| I go, even the fruit fly is getting out of here. | ||
| But that is the craziness of Mitzi Shore. | ||
| How could she say no to Jerry Seinfeld? | ||
| Even when he went there, he was already a solid comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's the thing that they say is that when you used to tell Mitzi, like, oh, this guy's a big deal from New York, that she'd be like, well, I'll see for myself. | ||
| Dude, the guy who used to book the store told me it's kind of better if you start off at the store. | ||
| Like, Mitzi knows you're already a headliner, so she's going to make you a non-paid regular. | ||
| So I became a non-paid regular. | ||
| I couldn't just become a paid regular. | ||
| I had to do time as a non-paid, which you go on, like, super late at night. | ||
| She didn't give a fuck about your credits. | ||
| Your credits almost hurt you. | ||
| Like, if you came with credits, they're like, oh, he already thinks he knows everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that's the vibe. | ||
| And it makes you wonder, like, is part of her brilliant, was part of her brilliant madness knowing that the way to bring out the most in Seinfeld was to do that, perhaps. | ||
| Was to tell him he wasn't funny. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| She was very outspoken about it to my face, Seinfeld said. | ||
| It's funny because she said to me, she said, You know, you're the kind of person that needs someone to step on you, and I'm going to be that person. | ||
| I have to admit, she was right. | ||
| I needed that person. | ||
| She was that person, and it really fueled me. | ||
| Wow, you were right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| I thought you were just joking around. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No, I've never seen that. | ||
| That's so wild that you guessed that. | ||
| That she would actually say that. | ||
| And that she said it to him back then. | ||
| So he must have already been killing it back then. | ||
| Like what year was this? | ||
| 1980. So I think I saw him in It must have been like 86 or 87. I saw him in Boston at the Paradise Theater, which was like the big theater that was connected to Stitch's Comedy Club. | ||
| So Stitch's was like a little tiny, tight little box. | ||
| It was a great, great room. | ||
| And next door was like the bigger show where like the big headliners would come. | ||
| And I took my girlfriend to see Seinfeld. | ||
| And I wasn't even old enough to drink yet. | ||
| And I was like, this is wild. | ||
| That's Jerry Seinfeld. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And that's where I got the idea of asking questions to the audience. | ||
| Like letting the audience just yell out questions. | ||
| Because he did that. | ||
| And I saw him do that. | ||
| I'm like, oh, this is probably how he writes. | ||
| Because at that time I was already thinking about doing stand-up. | ||
| But I was like, oh, he's thinking this is how he writes like he comes up with ideas by people like throw a thing at him and off the cuff because he's already murdering for an hour. | ||
| It was really impressive. | ||
| Super clean, but like perfect jokes. | ||
| There were perfect jokes. | ||
| There were just everything's like the setup, the punchline, the fucking way he handled himself on stage. | ||
| I was like, wow. | ||
| Those guys are so intimidating when you're starting out. | ||
| You really need to go to an open mic night and watch people eat shit. | ||
| You fucking need that. | ||
| You need that when you're starting out. | ||
| I think you need that with everything. | ||
| If you think you're going to play basketball and you go to the NBA for the first time, you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| I can't move like that. | ||
| I think that's the thing with everything. | ||
| People sucking helps in the beginning. | ||
| People sucking helps. | ||
| I remember that first night. | ||
| Ever in a comedy club that I ever signed up for an open mic was at the comedy store and I got number 12 on the lineup. | ||
| And I'm like, man, here we go. | ||
| And they weren't as good as I thought they were going to be. | ||
| And I'm like, whoa, I think I have a chance. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Richard Jennings said that very thing. | ||
| Richard Jennings said that bad comedians inspire comedians to try. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember exactly how he phrased it, but it was something to that extent. | ||
| He was so right. | ||
| I remember thinking that at the time. | ||
| If it wasn't for watching open micers, I would probably chicken it out. | ||
| But you watch the open micers and you're like, oh, they're just clumsy like me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, this is a thing you get good at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And then it became, like, I thought you just were funny or you weren't funny. | ||
| You know, I'm like, I'm kind of funny sometimes to my friends. | ||
| Like, how do I be funny to these people? | ||
| But then you go to an open mic night and you realize, oh, this is like a thing that everyone's working on to get better. | ||
| Like, what the fuck is this thing? | ||
| Like, this weird mass hypnosis, this weird idea game you're playing with people. | ||
| The fact that you could do it for free always boggled my mind. | ||
| Like, I was always, all through high school, I'm like, how am I going to pay for college? | ||
| Because I'm not getting a scholarship with my GPA. So, once I was out, I was literally paying for college and owed these loans. | ||
| Luckily, I dropped out fast, so I didn't get too deep in the hole. | ||
| But anyway, by the time I realized, like, wait, you could just do these open mics, it's like free college. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is... | |
| Except it's for a specific career. | ||
| And you get to watch, like, you'll get to watch Dave Chappelle pop in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'll get to watch, you know, Damon Wayans will show up. | ||
| You get to watch, you know, all these fucking comics from other states that are in town. | ||
| They want to do a spot at the store. | ||
| I mean, that's the first place I saw Schultz. | ||
| That's the first place I saw Tim Dillon. | ||
| I mean, all those guys who came from New York, they all want to do the store. | ||
| So if you're working there, man, and you're doing open mics, and then you get a fucking doorman job, holy shit! | ||
| You had a free education! | ||
| You were there every day watching these killers work on their sets that they were going to do on Netflix. | ||
| You're seeing it all evolve because you're seeing them Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. | ||
| You're seeing all these multiple sets. | ||
| And so you get this just education of how it's pieced together that is unavailable to anybody who doesn't hang around the clubs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's the only way you can get it. | ||
| There's not like a school you can go to make you a better stand-up comic. | ||
| You can learn things in regular school and you can apply them to stand-up comedy, but the only way to do stand-up comedy and learn how to do it is you have to do it. | ||
| The fact that we have to do it in front of a crowd, you can't even practice it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's nothing you can do by yourself. | |
| And even on the road, those other clubs don't run like the store. | ||
| There's not 16 headliners in each room, you know what I mean? | ||
| So if you're lucky, you might be able to maybe work at a place where there's one headliner coming in. | ||
| Walking probably straight into the green room, doing the shows, and then probably leaving right afterwards. | ||
| Well, think about the show we did at the Vulcan. | ||
| Think about the show where you got Hans Kim, and then you got David Lucas, and then you got Mark Norman, and then you got Ari Shafir, then you got Shane Gillis, then you got you, then you got me. | ||
| These are crazy shows, man. | ||
| Crazy shows. | ||
| They were so fucking fun. | ||
| It's been ridiculous. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It's a murder fest, too, from start to go. | ||
| And you know what makes me the happiest? | ||
| Is watching the big pop that Ari gets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When Ari goes on stage, he gets a giant pot. | ||
| People go nuts. | ||
| That special fucking pulled him out of the fire. | ||
| That was a beautiful special. | ||
| It's a perfect special. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| The fact that he did it in front of candles and shit, and he had to relight all the candles. | ||
| And for him to do that with full-blown AIDS is just incredible. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| Full-blown. | ||
| Imagine if that was a real diagnosis. | ||
| You know, like, full-blown is such a street term for someone really being fucked up by AIDS. But if, like, well, Tony, you've got full-blown AIDS. If your doctor said that to you, like, what a disrespectful doctor to use the term full-blown AIDS. Bro, you got full-blown AIDS. They'd be like, what kind of doctor did I get? | ||
| If he threw a bro at the front like that, that's even worse. | ||
| Like, bro. | ||
| Yeah, it's the same Dr. Redman was going to. | ||
| He diagnosed his gums. | ||
| My metabolism's so fast, Mike. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Full-blown AIDS. Here's the good news. | ||
| People don't really die of it anymore. | ||
| And they got all crazy treatments now. | ||
| They could actually reverse HIV. People have been cured of it now. | ||
| There are multiple people. | ||
| It's really wild. | ||
| There's this medicine that's been really helping. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what it is, but the thing about, like, they had already come up with protease inhibitors and all these things that prevented people from getting really sick. | ||
| Like, remember Jeff Scott had it forever. | ||
| A fifth person is likely cured of HIV, and another is in long-term remission. | ||
| One case involved a man with cancer underwent a specialized stem cell transplant. | ||
| The other involved a woman who received immune-boosting therapies as part of a clinical trial. | ||
| So this is different results from different studies. | ||
| So doing a couple of different methods. | ||
| And also likely cured is a little bit of a term, right? | ||
| Like imagine being that guy's boyfriend and he's like, good news, babe, I'm likely cured. | ||
| Let's go to no condom tonight. | ||
| They have another drug that you take now and it prevents you from getting HIV. It's like a blocker. | ||
| So it's like a go crazy drug. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like for gay guys, you just gave them the fucking tutu, give them that green light. | ||
| If you give them a fucking pill that they could take and you definitely won't get AIDS, oh my god, they're going to try so hard to get AIDS. They're going to go hard. | ||
| I think about how those must be getting thrown around like parade candy on Santa Monica Boulevard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I mean, what a miracle. | |
| Science. | ||
| That's the good side of pharmaceutical drugs, right? | ||
| Everybody wants to talk about the bad side. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you can buttfuck and not get AIDS. Boner pills. | |
| There's a lot of different things that came out of it. | ||
| Remember the fucking gas station pills, Fred Pan? | ||
| I got burnt out. | ||
| I think it did damage. | ||
| The red pan was taking these fucking, who knows what bathtub they were mixed up in. | ||
| He would take these boner pills that he would buy at the gas station, and apparently they're insane. | ||
| And I think they had steroids in them, because one time you got a little bit of road rage. | ||
| Yeah, and sometimes I felt like I was about to pass out, like I was tripping, like seeing trails and stuff. | ||
| Like, what's that? | ||
| I think it was like blood pressure. | ||
| Bro, it could be everything. | ||
| Everything and anything. | ||
| They just mixed them up and called it Rhino. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Remember the names? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Black Rhino. | ||
| It had a hologram of a rhinoceros. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| And I had, like, I collected the containers that they came in because they were, like, trading cards. | ||
| And I had, like, 30 of them, but when I moved... | ||
| When I moved to Texas, I was like, I have to throw this away. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| You should have saved them. | ||
| I just took photos of them. | ||
| Oh, you should have saved them. | ||
| They were so stupid. | ||
| But it was like, what a genius idea. | ||
| Because you're only selling a couple pills, but you're selling it for like what a prescription you really should be. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you have this crazy markup. | ||
| And then on top of that, who the fuck, there's no one telling you. | ||
| There's no FDA involved in these transactions. | ||
| You're basically selling like vitamin B. Right. | ||
| You know, you can kind of just, you know, put those up for sale until they come after you. | ||
| And then they test them and find out there was all sorts of stuff in there. | ||
| Viagra and Cialis and steroids. | ||
| There was like different mixtures. | ||
| When they got caught and they got in trouble, that's when they made a new LLC and that's what the Rhino 1, Rhino 2, Rhino 3 was. | ||
| No, like seriously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, they kept getting busted. | |
| It was like an open secret. | ||
| I remember you were the detective of all this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was hilarious. | ||
| There were steroids in them, too, and weren't there some of them had amphetamines? | ||
| Yep, and that's John Jones, supposedly, that's how he got caught with steroids, but it ended up being a boner pill. | ||
| Remember back in the day? | ||
| John Jones or somebody. | ||
| Yeah, I think, John, there was something along those lines in that story. | ||
| I know that boner pills were involved, but I thought they were real boner pills. | ||
| I don't think he's just taking... | ||
| But the thing is, like, if you're getting them online, like, who fucking knows who's cooking these things up, bro? | ||
| Who knows he's making these things? | ||
| You're trusting your, I mean, anything that calls itself, like, Rhino 5. Like, Rhino 5. It's hilarious. | ||
| But it would make sense. | ||
| It sounds like a good mixture. | ||
| A little bit of steroids, a little bit of speed. | ||
| Cialis mixed with Viagra. | ||
| And sell it at a gas station! | ||
| Like, who's pumping gas needing to fuck? | ||
| Like, bro, I got to fuck! | ||
| I'm so horny from these fumes! | ||
| I need some boner pills. | ||
| I need to get going. | ||
| Have you guys seen the story of this person who worked for the White House? | ||
| They were in charge of something in the nuclear program. | ||
| It's a trans woman who's bald and has a beard and a mustache and is apparently a kleptomaniac. | ||
| It is the wildest story. | ||
| They caught her stealing a bag. | ||
| Is it he? | ||
| He has a mustache. | ||
| Isn't his name Sam? | ||
| I don't want to misgender. | ||
| I'm not sure if it's like non-binary. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| But whatever it is, it's a thief. | ||
| It's a fucking thief! | ||
| It's a fucking terrible thief! | ||
| And then there was a woman who recently saw photos of this Sam person and she is like, I think she's a designer and she had very specific one-of-a-kind clothing That had gotten stolen. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Yeah, it's playing with rules. | ||
| That's what that person's doing. | ||
| That person with the beard and the shaved head and lipstick and everything, they're playing with the rules. | ||
| I'll tell you, there's not enough boner pills in the world. | ||
| So this person, Sam, has been stealing women's luggage, like not just one, but they've caught multiple times this person, Sam, on video stealing luggage, and this woman who said from 2018, see if you can find that story, the story of this woman who was a designer from 2018. There it is. | ||
| So she had these very specific pieces that were missing, and then she sees this person wearing her shit, this person who works for the fucking White House. | ||
| What's he do at the White House? | ||
| And she's like, no way. | ||
| Well, she's, he, they are fired. | ||
| They're fired from the White House. | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| Something with the nuclear department. | ||
| Department of Energy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, former Department of Energy official Sam Brinton has been had been contained in her luggage. | ||
| She reported missing on March 9 2018 at the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport and then you see this person so she's a Houston based Tanzanian fashion designer. | ||
| How do you say her name? | ||
| Asya Kamsen. | ||
| Asya Kamsen. | ||
| So so she saw her fucking clothing It's one of a kind clothing that she designed and she's seeing this person who stole it who works for the fucking White House. | ||
| Two separate airports and notice he appeared to be wearing her clothes in several photos. | ||
| Compson said she had packed the same clothes in a bag that vanished back in 2018. So this person's been doing this forever just stealing girls clothes from the airport and then trying the mom when they get home. | ||
| There's a thing called autogynephilia, and it's men who are turned on by dressing like women, but they're heterosexual, but they're turned on by dressing like women. | ||
| They like to dress and maybe even behave like a woman, and they get aroused by it. | ||
| Jordan Peterson talked about it. | ||
| He said it's always been a part of the psychology literature. | ||
| It's like a reoccurring thing. | ||
| That exists with men. | ||
| That there's been men forever who like to dress up like women and it gets them sexually aroused. | ||
| Now it's they're in the same category as people that identify with being a woman like if you're like a legitimate trans person And I know a lot of them. | ||
| I know a lot of them now. | ||
| It's more it's There's some that you go like if you ever meet Blair white You go, okay, that's a hundred percent correct. | ||
| Like whatever you're doing is correct. | ||
| Like she seems like a woman Wow, so this is the ladies clothes. | ||
| Oh, isn't that crazy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is so crazy It's different. | |
| There's a kink. | ||
| No, because it's folded over on the right side. | ||
| See how it's folded over? | ||
| It's a different pattern. | ||
| Yeah, in the middle. | ||
| Oh, you're right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| Are you sure it's not folded over? | ||
| Because you see the right side of his thing? | ||
| You see how it's the black? | ||
| You see the inner linings? | ||
| Well, they wear it better. | ||
| Yeah, but you see, well, this Sam person has the narrowest fucking shoulders for what appears to be a biological male. | ||
| And if you, you know, he's like got it folded over so it'll fit on his shoulders. | ||
| Like, I think if he spread it out, it might like fall over one shoulder. | ||
| That doesn't seem like the same picture. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's very similar. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Well, it could also just be she had multiple pieces, and you show photos of one of her pieces similar to the other one that he was wearing, but it makes sense. | ||
| I mean, if a person's been busted more than once stealing chicks clothes, but that's like a kink thing, man. | ||
| That's not a poor person that needs clothing. | ||
| That's not a person in desperation trying to feed their family. | ||
| That's a kink. | ||
| That person's kinky. | ||
| They like to steal women's clothes and then put them on. | ||
| Maybe they're also good at energy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| But you can't hire them just because they like to dress like a woman. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You see what I'm saying? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| And this is what you get when you go fishing for crazy. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You can't just hire someone because they like to dress like a woman. | ||
| Like, they have to actually not be crazy and not be stealing luggage and be good at their job. | ||
| Good face. | ||
| Good face on it. | ||
| Yeah, beautiful face. | ||
| Yeah, unbelievably stunning. | ||
| Can you imagine that being your type? | ||
| Like, looking for that? | ||
| Like, I've always wanted a woman with a shaved head and a goatee with a lot of lipstick. | ||
| I want someone who I can fucking watch football with. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| Fucking let's go! | ||
| It's just the whole thing is so odd. | ||
| Right, like... | ||
| Does that person really beat out the other people for that job? | ||
| Did they really go through the people's resumes? | ||
| It's like the bit I'm doing about the teacher from Washington State or from Vancouver that has the giant fake tits. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Somewhere in Canada. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see the picture of him in normal when he's not at work? | ||
| When he's not at work, he dresses like a regular guy. | ||
| He's running at Clinger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From M.A.S.H. Clinger from M.A.S.H., remember? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Clinger dressed up like a woman. | ||
| That was his try to get out of Vietnam, and they said, fuck you, you're going to dress like a woman in Vietnam. | ||
| Oh, he's trying to get kicked out of the Army. | ||
| And the way he would try to get kicked out is try to dress like a woman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they just let him do it. | ||
| And then, you know, they made him dress like a man, but he, like, it never worked. | ||
| The point is, like, same with this person. | ||
| Like, that's what they're doing. | ||
| They're pulling a clinger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My favorite episode of South Park of all time, Lemmy Winks, is when Mr. Garrison finds out that you can get a lot of money if you get fired for doing gay stuff. | ||
| So he keeps trying to outdo himself and be gayer and gayer and the people keep talking about how brave he is and then finally brings in Mr. Slave and he shoves a gerbil up Mr. Slave's ass and the whole episode turns into this adventure of the gerbil because the rectum closed. | ||
| The gerbil has to make his way all the way through the mouth. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Dude, this came out when I was a senior in high school and just started smoking marijuana. | ||
| Like I just started smoking weed and two weeks later this episode came out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I... Oh my god, I forgot how good this episode is. | |
| ...was dead. | ||
| The music is crazy. | ||
| There's fucking songs. | ||
| Did you see the live South Park concert? | ||
| They redid this live. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I forgot how funny that episode was. | ||
| They have so many bangers, dude. | ||
| So many bangers over the years. | ||
| There's not another show like it. | ||
| And the fact that it's still going strong. | ||
| Still going strong. | ||
| You can't do it anywhere else. | ||
| Even Comedy Central, if you try to bring a show like that to Comedy Central, they'd be like, no fucking way. | ||
| But with South Park, go ahead. | ||
| It is the 800-pound gorilla of cable TV. It's like the one thing that no one can fuck with. | ||
| They go so hard. | ||
| They go so hard. | ||
| I saw a video of him using his kid to do the Canadian impressions. | ||
| The Megan and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh yeah, Ike. | ||
| He uses his own little kid and he was like whispering in her ear like what to say. | ||
| So like he has her cussing and stuff and he's like cracking up while holding it. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Don't kick your baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good job! | |
| Let's try one more like that. | ||
| I love you too, big brother. | ||
| I love you, big brubber. | ||
| Big brubber. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| That's adorable. | ||
| It's better when they're doing the cussing ones, though. | ||
| These ones are cute. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| They're national treasures. | ||
| Those guys are national treasures. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| What they do just to advance comedy. | ||
| It's so awesome. | ||
| They let you be free to laugh at the most ridiculous shit. | ||
| It's like, that's important today. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's important today. | ||
| Like, goddamn, people are so crazy. | ||
| It's such a wild time where people are getting so upset about so many different things like there's a it's like a fever pitch out there Whether it's Ukraine and Russia or COVID or fucking the climate. | ||
| It's like whoo Like everybody's like right there all the time We need to chill the fuck out as a nation Yeah, right Yeah. | ||
| It's wild, man. | ||
| It is wild. | ||
| The wildest time I could ever remember. | ||
| Like, gearing up for this 2024 election? | ||
| I'm fucking terrified. | ||
| Like, what is that gonna be like? | ||
| What the fuck is that gonna be like? | ||
| DeSantis just got control over Disney. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| I'm not exactly sure. | ||
| Did he just score a coup on Disney? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's the land they own. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yep. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I remember reading in this a few months ago when it first started happening. | ||
| It has to do with the water rights and stuff because it goes through that county. | ||
| They portioned off that section where Disney World is and made it separate from Orange County. | ||
| Well, they gave them crazy, crazy, crazy tax breaks back in the day to draw tourism in. | ||
| So now he can charge them because they're supposedly woke and, you know, anti-DeSantis. | ||
| So he's like, screw it. | ||
| Now you guys can pay your fair share. | ||
| It's so weird how so many people that are involved in show business go that route. | ||
| So many people. | ||
| It's like they feel compelled to You know? | ||
| Like, people that wouldn't have done it five or six years ago wouldn't have gone along with it or going along with it now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They have to play the game. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird to watch. | ||
| Because I don't think it's representative of most people's sensibilities. | ||
| I think it's a very small group of very pushy people. | ||
| There's enough of them because there's a lot of people. | ||
| There's a lot of us. | ||
| 300 and fucking whatever million. | ||
| You're going to get enough that are really into it and really noisy. | ||
| But the way the regular people think, the people of the world that don't have to pretend... | ||
| That they agree with something or disagree with something. | ||
| Most people are very confused by what's going on. | ||
| Most regular people are very frustrated and confused by someone like that who's working for the White House. | ||
| Like, how? | ||
| How did that person get in there? | ||
| Did that person get in there just because they dressed like that? | ||
| Because I think they did. | ||
| I think they did. | ||
| I think that's how goofy they are. | ||
| Did you see the White House press secretary lady the other day? | ||
| She was touting all the different Like minorities and all the different people of you know all the different women how many women work for the White House now a record number of people in the LBGTQ community work in the White House like so like all these things that Okay How are they doing? | ||
| How's this working? | ||
| This doesn't seem like it's working that well. | ||
| We don't care. | ||
| That's not what most people care about. | ||
| And if you're lesbian and you're great at your job, awesome. | ||
| If you're gay and you're great at your job, awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But that shouldn't be all we're hearing about. | |
| Shouldn't be all we're hearing about is your identity, the identity politics thing, like as if somehow or another doing that is great for everybody. | ||
| Do you think about that when you look for anything good? | ||
| Do you think about like, well, I hope the staffing there is very diverse. | ||
| Whoever the fuck is there is the best at whatever the fuck they do. | ||
| That's what you're thinking about. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that what they would want their doctor to walk in looking like? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I saw there was an internet meme about that. | ||
| What do you say when your house is on fire? | ||
| Are you hoping the firefighting team is diverse that are coming to save you? | ||
| There's been a few of these. | ||
| But they're like, yeah, that's not what you want. | ||
| You want diversity because you want people to all have an opportunity to do things. | ||
| You want it. | ||
| But you don't want to force it. | ||
| Like you can't put people in a position that shouldn't be in the position just because of the color of their skin or where they were born. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And if there's like a real problem With people of one group or another group not getting the opportunities, then we should address that because that's the real problem. | ||
| Everybody's at each other's throats for the wrong things when the real things are you have these massive communities of disenfranchised people like Youngstown, like where you grew up, like Detroit, like Baltimore. | ||
| There's places like that all over the country. | ||
| And we just sent how many billions of dollars to Ukraine? | ||
| Did we always have that money laying around? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Okay, but whether or not you agree that we should support Ukraine or not, I don't understand it. | ||
| It scares the shit out of me. | ||
| But if you had all that money laying around, do you know how many things you could have fixed? | ||
| The real problem is people not getting the same situation to grow up in. | ||
| Not getting a situation that's not filled with violence and drugs and gangs and chaos and shit. | ||
| But no one's trying to fix that. | ||
| If you want to fix the way people think about each other, if everybody had a decent chance, pretty much everybody had a decent chance, Like the whole country, you'd have way less problems! | ||
| You got places where people are fucked from the jump, and no one's doing anything to stop that. | ||
| No one's doing anything to try to help. | ||
| That's the real problem in this country. | ||
| It's not, like, most people don't give a fuck who you are. | ||
| They just like you to be good at what you do, and they like you to be fun to be around. | ||
| We all find each other's groove. | ||
| Like, oh, this is Mike. | ||
| He's a fucking weirdo, but he's cool about this. | ||
| And we all find our groove with each other. | ||
| How many comics do we know that are gag? | ||
| Nobody gives a shit. | ||
| How many comics do we know that are of every ethnicity, every race? | ||
| When you're hanging around with comics, it's just who's funny. | ||
| It's just who's good, who's cool to hang with. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about that. | ||
| That should be the whole world. | ||
| That should be the whole world. | ||
| I don't know if you get there by forcing people to get hired because they're a certain race, or a certain gender, or a certain anything. | ||
| You've got to get to the point where all these people have the same sort of crack at it, so then it just becomes a meritocracy, like a real meritocracy. | ||
| Because that's the argument against it. | ||
| It's like it's not a meritocracy if people experience racism or sexism or if people grow up disenfranchised and they grow up in bad areas. | ||
| They deserve a little bit of an extra help and maybe they should be hired first. | ||
| That's the thought process behind it, but I think that encourages someone who's not as good to succeed. | ||
| And I don't think that's good for anybody. | ||
| I think the best people should succeed. | ||
| We just have to figure out how to make that fair. | ||
| But the best people should succeed in everything. | ||
| That's the way we get better at stuff. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The NFL, I'm sure you probably know about this, but they have a very, very interesting thing that they're doing where you literally get better, what is it, draft picks or something based on how many black coaches you have. | ||
| So you can literally... | ||
| Reconstruct your team. | ||
| You can build it stronger. | ||
| Is it draft picks? | ||
| And so you get more draft picks? | ||
| A bigger salary cap or something? | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| The salary cap is wild. | ||
| Because if there wasn't a salary cap, the Saudis would just come in. | ||
| And then we'd go, we have an idea. | ||
| Everybody, a billion dollars. | ||
| Just buy up. | ||
| I think those guys have more money than we could possibly comprehend. | ||
| They're doing it with golf. | ||
| It seems to be working. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| No? | ||
| Jamie? | ||
| Shakey-shakey? | ||
| Tell me, Jamie. | ||
| What's the definition of working, I guess? | ||
| Are they having successful events? | ||
| They're just starting. | ||
| That's the definition of a successful event. | ||
| Oh, now we're cutting hairs. | ||
| I don't know golf, so you tell me. | ||
| What's a successful event? | ||
| They just had their first event of the year, and the response online is people aren't that into watching it. | ||
| It was on the CW, I think, in the United States, so it's a little tough to find that in the first place. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| It's aired a way different way than they aired PGA Golf. | ||
| It's aired to everybody. | ||
| You see all the shots at the same time. | ||
| Everyone's playing at once, which is way different, especially if you've watched the Full Swing show that just started on Netflix. | ||
| They're explaining golf to people who don't really know it that well. | ||
| There is a lot of money in there, though. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| So that's successful for those people. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So Professional Poole is encountering a little bit of a renaissance. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| There's a few companies that are putting on these events, like Predators putting on these events, and Matchroom Poole, and they're streaming them live online. | ||
| And it's becoming successful again. | ||
| Poole, because they're streaming them online, people are into it again. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| And they're doing the World Championships this weekend from the Rio. | ||
| Nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to try to stop in on Friday and check it out. | |
| Did you see the guy in East Palestine that talks like Mickey Mouse now? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I was just swallowing a true brain. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's a nootropic. | ||
| You want to try it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude was on my podcast once with a doctor and he came up with this stuff. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Is it orange flavored? | ||
| I think he was a doctor. | ||
| Was he a doctor? | ||
| I don't want to give anybody extra titles. | ||
| You want to try one? | ||
| Want to get smarter? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I don't want to. | ||
| Stay where you're at? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't make you smarter. | ||
| Helps your memory a little bit. | ||
| It's good for verbal memory. | ||
| Sometimes the Mary Jane fucks with the mind. | ||
| Ooh, that's delicious. | ||
| It's good, right? | ||
| It's nice, a little liquid, a little shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it. | |
| It's like a snow cone. | ||
| With the voice thing, wouldn't there be multiple videos of multiple people with that? | ||
| It could be his own reaction to it. | ||
| He got a very high dose. | ||
| It could be there's more people. | ||
| They're not talking about it. | ||
| It says there's more people. | ||
| More people? | ||
| That's what this article says. | ||
| They're going to go check door to door. | ||
| Oh, they're sending the CDC in. | ||
| Bro, this is very scary stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Very scary stuff. | ||
| Youngstown's 20 minutes from there. | ||
| And they just call it East Palestine. | ||
| They don't say it's 45 minutes away from Pittsburgh or 45 minutes away from Cleveland. | ||
| They just call it East Palestine. | ||
| So, it's getting into Youngstown, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's getting into everywhere, right? | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| Pittsburgh's really close. | ||
| Columbus is not far away. | ||
| Dude, that's so scary. | ||
| Did you see the dead deer that they've been finding? | ||
| This dude took video. | ||
| He was down by the river or this creek or whatever it is, and it's just fucking completely polluted. | ||
| You know, you throw rocks in it. | ||
| You see big oil slicks and bowl up. | ||
| And he found three dead deer, like really close to each other. | ||
| That's where it is on the map. | ||
| There's East Palestine. | ||
| Youngstown's right there, dude. | ||
| Oh my god, Pittsburgh's right there. | ||
| Are those videos of it raining in Ohio where it was like foam? | ||
| Is that fake? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Do you see that? | ||
| I saw snow and all the stuff on the ground. | ||
| It's like foaming rain. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Bro, what's in those clouds now? | ||
| And that's a cloudy place. | ||
| They literally have the lake effect there. | ||
| So the precipitation, that's where it's always cloudy. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So it's sitting above you. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Does it dissipate? | ||
| What happens to the poison that gets into the air? | ||
| It goes to Pittsburgh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, where does it go? | |
| Like, if it really hovers over you, like, holy shit, and comes down when it rains, what the fuck? | ||
| The video that, I don't know if it's real, it showed a man outside, and when it was raining, it just seemed like it was suds. | ||
| And so that's not normal. | ||
| I don't know if it's a real video, it's TikTok. | ||
| Wouldn't you think that whatever the smoke is, like, whatever the particles are, they would be too heavy to just sit in the clouds? | ||
| Wouldn't you think that they would fall to the ground? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're too stupid to talk about this. | ||
| Jamie, you're smarter than us. | ||
| What do you think would happen, like, if chemicals were burned and they went into the clouds, would they stay in the clouds? | ||
| I think back to the movies of, like, the Dirty Waters just came out where they're looking into, like, you know, chemical companies and people getting fucked up and there's giant lawsuits that go on forever. | ||
| Aaron Brockovich thing, I think, was a similar situation. | ||
| People getting fucked up from some chemical company. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Repeat. | ||
| Why would this one be different, honestly? | ||
| No, I think it is. | ||
| But what I'm asking is, do you think that when they burn the chemicals that they stay in the clouds, does that make any sense? | ||
| I don't think they're going to tell us and explain it to us, simple people. | ||
| Some people might know. | ||
| What a mad scramble. | ||
| And did you see that people were trying to blame Trump because of deregulation? | ||
| But it turns out that whatever deregulation he passed wouldn't have applied to this and also wasn't instituted. | ||
| It never really went through. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Make sure that's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| If anybody can, you can, Jamie. | ||
| What is the question? | ||
| Was the deregulation by Trump? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Was Trump-era deregulation responsible for the crash? | ||
| Because I think it was not. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I heard that it was about the penalties for the company, not even the train. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's what I had understood. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's what deregulation was about. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| The train was going to happen anyway. | ||
| Remember, we looked up, it was like $1,700 a year. | ||
| So the deregulation was just basically like giving money to the corporations or letting them pay less money? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| First thing it says, Washington Post analysis. | ||
| So far, Trump's rollback of regulations can't be blamed for the train wreck. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And that's Washington Post. | ||
| So that's Washington Post. | ||
| See, NTSB chair contradicts Post that wrongly claim Trump to blame for Ohio train wreck. | ||
| But that's like a thing that people do immediately. | ||
| Whenever there's something fucked up, they immediately point at Trump. | ||
| He did it! | ||
| He did it! | ||
| But the problem with that is when you say he did it, a lot of people hear, oh, he did it. | ||
| And then how many people hear the follow-up? | ||
| How many people hear like, no, he didn't do it, and this is actually what happened? | ||
| I bet it's probably like 60, 40, right? | ||
| I bet like 40% find out that it wasn't true. | ||
| This is from an article. | ||
| It says, Buttigieg calls on Trump to back reversing deregulation in the wake of train derailment. | ||
| They're saying it comes from this letter. | ||
| Well, maybe he's correct. | ||
| Let's read what he has to say. | ||
| Both things could be true, right? | ||
| What could be true is that the deregulation is bad, and what also could be true is that Trump wasn't responsible for this particular crash. | ||
| Both things could be true. | ||
| This is one thing he can do to express support for reversing the deregulation that happened on his watch. | ||
| I heard him say he had nothing to do with it, even though it was in his administration. | ||
| So, if he had nothing to do with it, and they did it in his administration against his will, maybe he can come out and say that he supports us moving in a different direction. | ||
| That seems very reasonable, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| White House has blamed Republican lawmakers in the Trump administration for lax railway and environmental regulations in the aftermath of the derailment. | ||
| White House has pointed to a 2021 letter from the Republican Senators to the Federal Railroad Administration urging the agency to expand the use of automated track inspection and pointed to a Republican Study Committee proposal to cut to government funding to address chemical spills. | ||
| Hmm That's a weird way the pros proposal to cut to government funding I think it's just a typo there Additionally Politico reported the Trump administration rolled back several safety measures for railways including regular Safety audits and an Obama era rule that required faster brakes on trains carrying flammable materials Dude, how about the fastest brakes? | ||
| Yeah containing flammable materials How about the fastest fucking breaks you can make? | ||
| That's a true thing, though, that this particular rail that that thing happened on was not set up for transferring hazardous waste, right? | ||
| Or hazardous materials. | ||
| Isn't that true? | ||
| I think they're saying that that train was not set up for having that kind of stuff on it. | ||
| It's like, bro, it can just fall off the tracks going like 300 miles an hour and explode. | ||
| Like, what do you got in there? | ||
| And you're gonna ruin everything forever, all around it? | ||
| Like, how long before they cleaned that up? | ||
| Oh, and now they're, what are they gonna do with it? | ||
| Yeah, so I'm reading right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are they gonna do with this stuff? | |
| What are they doing with it? | ||
| They're putting in a landfill. | ||
| In Indiana, right? | ||
| Putnam County landfill. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Terrific. | ||
| Put it in the earth. | ||
| Driving it across the state. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you don't own a landfill, bro, you could put anything in there. | |
| Computers, bodies, all kinds of shit. | ||
| Old cocaine, like, dressers. | ||
| Four hours ago's story. | ||
| Ohio toxic train disaster leads to more concerns in other states while scientists say chemical tests in East Palestine are unusually high. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Yeah, you think? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Unusually high. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What a crazy statement. | ||
| Unusually high. | ||
| How about toxic for humans? | ||
| I mean, what happens to those people that can't move? | ||
| Those people that are stuck there, like they can't afford to move, they got nowhere to go. | ||
| That's everybody there, by the way. | ||
| Yeah, at least it's going to be really cheap to move them somewhere else, like $50,000 houses everywhere, you know. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I mean, you got to get those people out of there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, how dangerous is it, you think, to be there right now? | ||
| Is it just groundwater? | ||
| Or is it air? | ||
| Is it everything? | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| You know how scary that would be if you were poor and you were stuck in that spot? | ||
| Was that plane crash real that happened? | ||
| Yeah, you know that story? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Dude, a plane that was headed with, isn't it true? | ||
| It seems. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to double check. | ||
| I want to triple check, but I'm pretty sure there were environmental, yeah. | ||
| Five environmental scientists who died in a plane crash were headed to East Palestine, Ohio. | ||
| It says false. | ||
| Five employees of an environmental consulting firm died in a plane crash near Little Rock, Arkansas on Wednesday, but they were not traveling to East Palestine where a freight train derailed. | ||
| The employees were responding to an unrelated February 20th explosion at a metals plant in a Cleveland suburb more than 60 miles away. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it wasn't true. | ||
| Yeah, so the facts in the days since the February 22nd plane crash some social media users have falsely claimed the aircraft was transporting environmental scientists to East Palestine where a freight train derailment earlier in the month prompted officials to intentionally release and burn toxic vinyl chloride to avoid the danger of an uncontrolled blast. | ||
| Okay, so it wasn't true. | ||
| So there was a plane crash filled with scientists, but they were going to a different spill. | ||
| That seems a little fishy. | ||
| Why are five environmental scientists going to some other thing nobody's heard of when there's this massive tragedy 60 minutes away? | ||
| And that's probably the closest major... | ||
| Well, I guess Pittsburgh is a more major airport that's closer, but that's the second closest. | ||
| Well, we would have to... | ||
| Well, first of all, we didn't know these scientists were going there, right? | ||
| So we would have to assume they've already sent scientists to East Palestine. | ||
| They don't have to tell you that they're doing that, right? | ||
| It's not like they make a press release, like, hey, we're sending scientists to find out. | ||
| Because then people want to know, like, what's the result? | ||
| Like, if the results are unprintable, like, if the results are like, oh my god, like, everyone's gonna die. | ||
| Like, who knows what the results are? | ||
| And we know that if it is unprintable, they're not gonna tell us anyway, from past everything. | ||
| If they sent five people to this other crash, how many did they send? | ||
| 5,000. | ||
| How many did they send to East Palestine? | ||
| They want to, like, check for sure. | ||
| They want to, like, double and triple check on this one, because this is a doozy. | ||
| People are calling it, like, an American Chernobyl. | ||
| It's like, this is scary shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's wild that those things happen all the time. | ||
| We googled it the other day. | ||
| There's like a thousand derailments a year. | ||
| They happen all the time. | ||
| Bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Brigham sent me a meme that was like, if you want to run a train properly, here's who you should hire. | ||
| And it's that cop lady that got... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen those. | ||
| She's in like 10 memes. | ||
| Poor gal. | ||
| Good girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Cold-blooded assassin. | ||
| It's a fun office mate right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Seems like they're having a good time on the job. | ||
| Give me three black rhinos and an eight-hour shift. | ||
| That's too much. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Three will have a heart attack, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you die. | |
| Yeah, you gotta be careful. | ||
| How many people died from rhino pills? | ||
| Probably a lot. | ||
| We should find that out. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| Because, you know, it would have to be like someone... | ||
| Heart attacks. | ||
| Some banker's son died from rhino pills, and then they would ban them. | ||
| So it would have to be someone influential who died. | ||
| I'm going to guess... | ||
| It's hard to say. | ||
| I don't think there's a number for that because it pretty much is whatever the boner pill really is, like Viagra. | ||
| A lot of people probably overdose on Viagra. | ||
| Their blood pressure drops. | ||
| They have a heart attack or something like that. | ||
| But I think there's probably deaths that you can absolutely attribute to boner pills. | ||
| If you think of all the people out there, all the crazy fucks that try to drink a gallon of whiskey and fucking smoke 50 packs of cigarettes, just people that go hard. | ||
| If they go hard with the rhino pills, I want to know how many will kill you. | ||
| Imagine if the guy's like, fuck, bro, I'm going out with Heidi tonight. | ||
| I'm taking 20 pills. | ||
| Don't do it, Mike! | ||
| Don't do it, Mike! | ||
| This sounds like the next episode of Protect Your Parks. | ||
| You guys should each take three boner pills and just try to fucking maintain, look at each other right in the eyes. | ||
| I'll come with a gold suitcase and give it to you guys. | ||
| Imagine a roided up, boner-pilled Shane right next to a roided up, boner-pilled Ari. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Pulled it from aroid raging with boners on amphetamines. | ||
| Throbbing three-inch penis. | ||
| Ari's got a giant dick, dude. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He'll show it to you. | ||
| Not since the AIDS. Still, it doesn't shrink. | ||
| Full-blown. | ||
| Full-blown doesn't shrink. | ||
| Regular AIDS sometimes Full-blown. | ||
| There's no other disease that you say full-blown. | ||
| It's got full-blown cancer. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Do you say full-blown cancer? | ||
| Yeah, you got full-blown cancer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think. | ||
| I've heard that before. | ||
| It sounds right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right when I was saying it, I was like, hmm, that's a questionable one. | ||
| Full-blown period. | ||
| You don't say you have full-blown tuberculosis. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You might say full-blown herpes. | ||
| That sounds bad. | ||
| Full-blown herpes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Back in the day, dude, they used to die from syphilis. | ||
| Like, people rotted out from syphilis. | ||
| And they got syphilis from fucking, and everybody knew they got it from fucking. | ||
| And people still fucked. | ||
| They still fucked. | ||
| There's that new gonorrhea, full-blown gonorrhea that's killing people that can't cure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Have you heard about super gonorrhea? | ||
| Super gonorrhea is like a new thing. | ||
| They have no cure for it. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you heard of this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jamie? | ||
| Please Google super gonorrhea. | ||
| I haven't heard this yet, yes. | ||
| No, I haven't heard of it. | ||
| It's so fucked up because it's mutated gonorrhea. | ||
| Imagine you're just a young person trying to have a good time, have a little intercourse. | ||
| What is super gonorrhea? | ||
| Right here, January 2023. Super gonorrhea has reached the US. Holy shit. | ||
| Super gonorrhea has infected people in the US. It says Massachusetts officials have reported two cases of gonorrhea that are resistant or less susceptible to all known antibiotics used to treat it. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| You live your life with green shit coming out of your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Go low limit. | ||
| So I can read about this? | ||
| Super gonorrhea has infected people in the United States for the first known time. | ||
| This week, Massachusetts public health officials announced the discovery of two gonorrhea cases appearing to display increased resistance to all known antibiotic classes that can be used against it. | ||
| These cases were thankfully still curable, but it's the latest reminder that this common sexually transmitted infection is becoming a more serious threat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| What do you think nature, just when humans get to a certain number, nature just decides to try to start killing them? | ||
| See the symptoms right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Discolored discharge from the genitals, painful or burning urination, and rectal bleeding if caught from anal sex. | ||
| Yikes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| When gonorrhea is left untreated, it raises the risk of more serious complications like damage to the reproductive tract in women and swollen testicles in men, both of which can lead to infertility. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| But they figured out, for syphilis, they figured it out. | ||
| Penicillin. | ||
| Again, shout out to the drug dealers, the pharmacy people. | ||
| They figured out penicillin. | ||
| Shout out to the scientists. | ||
| People were dying of syphilis, and now they just give you a shot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You ever see people dying from syphilis? | ||
| See what it looks like? | ||
| Like holes in their face. | ||
| Their noses fall off, holes in their scalp, like giant patches of tissue missing. | ||
| Scary stuff, dude. | ||
| Scary stuff. | ||
| They just basically rotted away. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It's crazy, because that was a common thing back in the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Yeah, look at that guy. | ||
| His face is just rotting away. | ||
| Oh my god, look at that woman's nose at the top, middle. | ||
| And look at the paintings of people that had syphilis, too. | ||
| Look at that one on the upper top. | ||
| Look at the upper top with the guy with the head, the bald head. | ||
| Look at his head. | ||
| Those are syphilis lesions. | ||
| So it's literally his head is rotting away. | ||
| And there's no cure for it. | ||
| Look at that girl. | ||
| Her face is rotting away. | ||
| And back then, you just fucking died. | ||
| You know, you just rotted out and died like this. | ||
| Scary shit, dude. | ||
| Like, parts of your face just fall off like The Walking Dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I think that's how Al Capone died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Didn't he die from syphilis? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yep, there he is, right there, bottom right. | ||
| Ooh, boy. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Famous people who died of syphilis. | ||
| Go to that. | ||
| Let me see what famous people died of syphilis. | ||
| So, Bram Stoker, the guy who wrote Jackula, he dried, oh my god. | ||
| Which is kind of fucked, because getting syphilis is kind of like being bit by a monster. | ||
| Like, you're slowly rotting away. | ||
| Al Capone. | ||
| Late stages of neural syphilis at 48 years old. | ||
| God damn, Al Capone was 48 when he went down? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 48 with syphilis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine. | |
| After, you know, all the shit Al Capone got through. | ||
| An STD took him out. | ||
| One piece of pussy. | ||
| Dudes, they had those bullets in the circle, those Tommy guns. | ||
| Back in those days, I mean, Al Capone was running the mob in Chicago. | ||
| Bullets were probably flying at him all the time. | ||
| Syphilis gets him. | ||
| Didn't they think he was like in a vault at one point in the 80s and they had like a lot? | ||
| Geraldo Rivera found his vault and they didn't bother to check to see if there's anything in it. | ||
| They wanted to reveal it live on TV. And so Geraldo breaks through the wall and he goes inside with the camera and there's nothing. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| So everybody was like, hang on the edge of their seat because it's live. | ||
| It was a live event. | ||
| Geraldo Rivera was breaking into Al Capone's vault in a live event. | ||
| And there's nothing in there. | ||
| Geraldo Rivera's had a lot of rough moments. | ||
| Well, that was the roughest. | ||
| That was purely the roughest. | ||
| But the greatest moment he ever had was on the Geraldo Rivera show, whatever the fuck the show was called, when he introduced the world to the Kennedy assassination video. | ||
| Dick Gregory, who was a comic, Dick Gregory came on to the Geraldo Rivera show with the footage that he had obtained of the Kennedy assassination from the Zapruder film. | ||
| So the Zapruder film was acquired, I believe, by Time Life. | ||
| I think they were acquired by Life magazine. | ||
| And they didn't do anything with it for a long time. | ||
| And then he got it, and I want to say they aired it on TV. It was at least 10 years, if not 12 years after the murder. | ||
| So, it was like 75, I think. | ||
| And so, on the show, he introduces this. | ||
| There's Geraldo Rivera looking sexy as fuck. | ||
| 1975. See, there it goes. | ||
| So it's 12 years. | ||
| Oh, it's Goodnight America, what it was called. | ||
| That was Geraldo Rivera's show. | ||
| It's Geraldo, this beautiful main is the host, and Dick Gregory comes on, and Dick Gregory brings on this other cat. | ||
| I don't know who the other guy is. | ||
| Bad guy from James Bond. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's exactly what he looks like. | |
| That's the guy with the button. | ||
| Jaws. | ||
| What's his name? - Mm-hmm. | ||
| Okay, so when they watch it, you could see Geraldo Rivera react to it. | ||
| Let's play it because this was the thing. | ||
| The thing was a lot of people at that time, they're coming off of the Vietnam War, There's a lot of people that have a massive distrust of the government, and there's a lot of people that thought that Kennedy was assassinated by more than one person. | ||
| There was all these rumors of people shooting from the grassy knoll, and there was all these conspiracy theories, but until you watch the actual video of the assassination, there was no confirmation that something was amiss. | ||
| And you watch the video, and his head goes back into the left when he gets shot, and you're like, what am I looking at here? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| Like, and he got shot in the neck as well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's another thing. | ||
| Like, you could see he grabs his neck, and then you see his head go back. | ||
| And it's not consistent with this idea of a magic bullet that goes through two people and creates all the... | ||
| It looks like he's getting hit multiple times. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the brain goes back. | ||
| It goes into the trunk. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...what is happening. | |
| This is a film taken by Marie Muchmore that leads into the Zapruder film. | ||
| It's for time continuity. | ||
| The president is waving to the crowd here. | ||
| And Jacqueline Kennedy, of course, is sitting alongside him in the open car. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is from Orville Nix's film. | ||
| This is originally 8mm footage. | ||
| And they're heading now toward Elm Street. | ||
| They're on Houston Street now. | ||
| They're going to make a left-hand turn. | ||
| It's on the corner where they're going to make the turn there that the book depository was. | ||
| Now, this is the Zapruder film. | ||
| Okay, so the cars are coming along now into Dealey Plaza? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| These are the lead motorcycles of the motorcade. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Now, with the President and Mrs. Kennedy is also Governor Connolly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now, before he goes behind the sign, the President is waving to the crowd. | ||
| When he comes out from behind the sign, he is shot. | ||
| Then Governor Connolly is shot. | ||
| He's already been hit? | ||
| He's already been hit. | ||
| And now? | ||
| At the bottom of the screen, the head shot. | ||
| That's the shot that blew up his head. | ||
| It's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in the movies. | ||
| Now, the Warren Commission said that all of the shots were fired from behind by Lee Harvey Oswald, a lone assassin, firing at the President. | ||
| And as you can see, clearly, the head is thrown violently backwards, completely consistent with the shot from the front right. | ||
| Now, this is an extreme blow-up of just the President from the film. | ||
| Coming out behind the sign. | ||
| He's shot. | ||
| He's hit. | ||
| He's hit here. | ||
| From the front, too. | ||
| From the front. | ||
| Now, Jackie doesn't realize what's happened yet. | ||
| She goes to his aide. | ||
| And now? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| So fucked up. | ||
| He's hit. | ||
| Again, the violent backward motion. | ||
| Totally consistent with 80% of the witnesses, which said the shot came from the grassy knoll in front and to the right. | ||
| It's interesting to note how many people is running towards where most folks thought the shots came from. | ||
| The head goes backwards in the next film from the other side of the street. | ||
| Oh God, that's awful. | ||
| That's the most upsetting thing I've ever seen. | ||
| We'll talk about it in a minute. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| How strong is Dick Gregory? | ||
| Dick Gregory in 1975 bringing that film footage with... | ||
| Who was the other guy he was with? | ||
| We should give that guy a shout-out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Robert Grodin? | |
| I got to meet Dick. | ||
| Did you say Robert Grodin? | ||
| At the end of this description, it says Robert Grodin is one of Rivera's guests. | ||
| Okay, it must be. | ||
| It must be who he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Dick Gregory at a little comedy club in downtown LA. Did you ever go there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| When was that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was, uh, 2014, 15, 13? | |
| The one down downtown? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was Dick Gregory's comedy club, I think it was called. | ||
| That's the guy that was there, right? | ||
| Is that the guy? | ||
| I'm asking. | ||
| It doesn't seem like it's the guy. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| No. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I guess it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's him. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, it just looks like he's creeping me out in that picture. | ||
| That's pretty creepy. | ||
| Well, he's seen some shit. | ||
| Imagine if you're the guy who gets a hold of the footage. | ||
| It shows that Kennedy got assassinated by a guy from the front. | ||
| And you're going to show it on television. | ||
| And what a wild scramble that must have been the next day. | ||
| Did they explain anything about that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Did they explain how they got it? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| That was like 12 years later, wasn't it? | ||
| Yeah, I believe we said it was 13 years. | ||
| It was 13 years after the assassination, or 12 years, right? | ||
| 75? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was 63. Buy someone's storage thing and start looking through it. | |
| Yard sale? | ||
| I think, like I said, I think Time Magazine had acquired it. | ||
| Time Life or Life Magazine, whatever it was back then. | ||
| I think they had acquired it. | ||
| And they had the footage. | ||
| And they didn't release it. | ||
| Somehow I know that Dick Gregory got it. | ||
| I don't know how, but I'm pretty sure that someone had sold the footage. | ||
| They said CBS lost a bidding war with Time Life, so someone had it to sell it. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But how did they find it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm surprised they ever let it out. | |
| I feel like the guy who maybe filmed it, or his family perhaps? | ||
| Abram Zapruder stood on a concrete pedestal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He filmed the presidential 26 seconds. | |
| That's a crazy piece of history. | ||
| After a Secret Service agent promised Zapruder that the film would only be used for an official investigation. | ||
| So maybe he came forward, I guess. | ||
| Zapruder gave two of the copies. | ||
| Oh, so he made copies of it himself. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| The original film was retained by Zapruder in addition to one of the copies. | ||
| So November 23rd, lost a bidding to Life Magazine for $160,000. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 1.3 million in 2023 dollars. | ||
| CBS News correspondent Dan Rather was the first to report on the footage on national television after seeing it. | ||
| The inaccuracies in his description contributed to many conspiracy theories about the assassination. | ||
| His 2001 book, Tell Me a Story, CBS producer Don Hewitt said that he told Rather to go to Zapruder's home to sock him in the jaw, take the film, copy it, and then return it to let the network's lawyers deal with the consequences. | ||
| According to Hewitt, he realized his mistake after ending their telephone conversation and immediately called Rather back to countermand the offer, disappointing the reporter. | ||
| A 2015 interview on Opie with Jim Norton Rather stated that the story was a myth. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It still doesn't explain... | ||
| Yeah, well, how did they get it? | ||
| Like, how did it end up anomaly where you read this? | ||
| Right, but this is like... | ||
| Huh. | ||
| So, it's hard to say. | ||
| So, somebody had it. | ||
| I just don't know how Dick Gregory got it. | ||
| I don't know how the gentleman with Dick Gregory got it. | ||
| I assume he brought that guy on. | ||
| Sort of like I would bring a guest on the JRE. Like, tell me what's up. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Can you imagine back then breaking that piece of news? | ||
| Geraldo Rivera must have been shitting his pants. | ||
| Like, what have I done? | ||
| Those guys are still alive. | ||
| Like, it's not like today. | ||
| You talk about the Kennedy assassination today, you're talking about someone who died 50, what is it, almost 60 years ago. | ||
| It's a long-ass time. | ||
| You talk about it in 1975, those dudes were still running shit. | ||
| And to see that on television, like proof that the story was shady, that must have been a big fucking deal. | ||
| You know, I don't think we could ever appreciate what it would be like to be a grown-up in 75. It was probably madness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Madness. | |
| Man. | ||
| Everybody's just getting back from Vietnam. | ||
| Like, what the fuck was that all about? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Disco, power bottoms, water beds. | ||
| Ah, the days. | ||
| No super gonorrhea. | ||
| And the worst cars America's ever produced. | ||
| This article about Zapruder says after walking away, he ran into a Dallas news reporter who was acquainted with Soros, who was a Secret Service agent, and they got them connected almost immediately. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It says, offered to bring Sorrells to Zapruder's office. | ||
| Zapruder agreed and returned to his office. | ||
| McCormick later found Sorrells outside the sheriff's office at Maine and Houston, and together they went to Zapruder's office. | ||
| Zapruder agreed to give the film to Sorrells on the condition that it would be used only for investigation of the assassination. | ||
| The three then took the film to the television station WFAA to be developed after it was realized that WFAA was unable to develop Zapruder's footage. | ||
| The film was later taken to Eastman Kodiak's Dallas processing plant later that afternoon where it was immediately developed. | ||
| As the Kodachrome process requires different equipment for duplication than for simple development, Sapruder's film was not developed until around 6.30 p.m. | ||
| The original developed film was taken to the Jameson Film Company, where three additional copies were exposed. | ||
| These were returned to Kodak around 8 p.m. | ||
| for processing. | ||
| Sapruder kept the original plus one copy and gave the other two copies to Sorrels, who sent them to the Secret Service headquarters in Washington. | ||
| So they had it immediately, and he held onto it for like 10 years, it looks like, right? | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| My next question would be like, how did it end up in the auction house? | ||
| Maybe he died. | ||
| I feel like that's what I remember. | ||
| I feel like I remember his family having something to do with it. | ||
| Stolley contacted him later that evening, right away. | ||
| Okay, late that evening, Zapruder was contacted at home by Richard Stolley. | ||
| An editor at Life Magazine. | ||
| They arranged to meet the following morning to view the film, after which Zapruder sold the print rights to Life for $50,000. | ||
| Sorley was representing Time and Life on behalf of the publisher Charles Douglas Jackson the following day, November 24th. | ||
| Life purchased all rights to the film for a total of $150,000. | ||
| 100, which is 1.3 million in today's money. | ||
| The night after the assassination, Zapruder said that he had a nightmare in which he saw a booth in Times Square advertising, see the president's head explode. | ||
| He determined that while he was willing to make money from the film, he did not want the public to see the full horror of what he had seen. | ||
| Therefore, a condition of the sale to life was that frame 313, showing the fatal shot, would be withheld. | ||
| Although he made a profit from selling the film, he asked that the amount he was paid not be publicly disclosed. | ||
| He later donated $25,000, about $221,000 today, of the money he was paid to widow of officer J.D. Tippett, a Dallas police officer who was shot and killed by Lee Harvey Oswald 45 minutes after President Kennedy was killed. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Okay, so in 75, Time sold the film back to the Zapruder family for $1. | ||
| And in 78, the Zapruder's allowed the film to be stored at the National Archives and Records Administration where it remains. | ||
| In 99, the Zapruder's donated the copyright of the film to the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza. | ||
| So I'm still confused as to how they got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| How Dick Gregory got it? | ||
| Yeah, how they got it. | ||
| I'll investigate. | ||
| So I wonder if the one that they showed on Geraldo Rivera's is the one with all the frames. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that the one with all the frames? | ||
| They showed the shot, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Huh. | ||
| I wonder if there's like a version that has like one extra frame. | ||
| Or if that's the version without the frame omitted. | ||
| Either way, it's interesting how blurry it is, right? | ||
| Yeah, it looked like shit, because I thought it was the time of the video, but then when they went back to the guests, the guests looked way better than the footage they were showing. | ||
| Well, he was doing it on a little 8mm. | ||
| You know, they have professional TV cameras in a giant studio with crazy overhead lights and the whole deal. | ||
| You know, back then, cameras sucked. | ||
| They fucking sucked. | ||
| And if you're going to film something, good luck figuring out what the fuck you're filming. | ||
| But even that looked like a copy of a copy of a copy of what that would look like at that time. | ||
| Well, it might have been, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They might have given them the copy and not the original. | ||
| Who knows if the duplicate was even remotely as good. | ||
| Maybe it's like VHS tapes. | ||
| Remember when you could make a VHS tape and then you could make a copy of it and it looks like shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or they filmed it off a TV back then or something. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Those are the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you would buy movies, the dudes would set up a VHS recorder in a movie theater and they would film it on the screen. | ||
| And it would like almost fit your screen, but you could buy like a brand new movie for five bucks. | ||
| And you're like, okay. | ||
| I watched multiple movies that I bought on the street when I was a kid. | ||
| And then I bought them and it's just a VHS tape of a fucking camera that some guy set up in a movie theater. | ||
| I had a copy of Pulp Fiction like the week it came out. | ||
| I thought it was like the most awesome things. | ||
| I could just watch Pulp Fiction all day long in my house. | ||
| Sounds terrible. | ||
| It was a bad copy. | ||
| They're all terrible. | ||
| They showed that guy that we looked up, Grodin's copy of... | ||
| The Zapruder film. | ||
| So he had a copy of the Zapruder film. | ||
| And Dick Gregory was an outspoken opponent critic of the Warren Commission. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It sounds like they had a meeting and made up a plan. | ||
| They're like, oh, look what I have. | ||
| All right, I'll go on Geraldo and we'll put this out to the public kind of thing. | ||
| It's so interesting how when you get access to information like this and you find out things about the past and you realize like there's never been a time where everybody was on the up and up. | ||
| Never been a time. | ||
| Like now it's kind of more in your face because it's so easy to find out things and people are finding out things so much quicker and like a lot of these companies. | ||
| And governments, they can't, like, hide things as easily. | ||
| This says that the response to this showing of the video led to that church committee, which is what outed a whole bunch of stuff. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The investigation on the intelligence activities by the United States, which resulted in the United States House Select Committee on Assassinations Investigation. | ||
| I think that's where MKUltra came from, right? | ||
| I called the information on it. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| I thought that was Freedom of Information Act, was it? | ||
| That's what this is. | ||
| This was like an investigation into all the stuff the CIA was doing. | ||
| They had a committee. | ||
| They did some wild shit. | ||
| Imagine being one of those guys dosing people up with acid. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They were doing wild shit back then, man. | ||
| Just dosing people with acid and studying them. | ||
| They think, like, one of the suspicions that comes out of the chaos is that that guy, Jolly West, who was responsible for giving LSD to Manson, allegedly, they also have this guy visiting Jack Ruby after he killed Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Jack Ruby went fucking crazy. | ||
| And they think he might have just dosed the shit out of this dude. | ||
| Like, he was saying that, like, Jews were on fire, and he was in hell, and, you know, there's demons, and, like, he went, like, full nutter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And he did it after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Can you imagine, like, if you want to, like, get rid of a witness, like, why did you shoot him? | ||
| Why did you kill that guy? | ||
| Give that guy all the acid in the world. | ||
| Let him scream and yell, and then give him a little cancer, and it's like, we're done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's it. | ||
| And that's what happened. | ||
| He had cancer, like, instantly. | ||
| In jail. | ||
| Went crazy. | ||
| Had cancer. | ||
| The whole story is really nuts. | ||
| Fox News piece stated in April of 1964, a psychiatrist called Louis Jolin West visited Jack Ruby in his isolation cell in a Dallas jail. | ||
| According to West's written assessment, he found that Jack Ruby was technically insane and in need of immediate psychiatric hospitalization. | ||
| Those are conclusions that puzzlingly no one who had spoken with Jack Ruby previously had reached. | ||
| Ruby had seemed perfectly sane to the people who knew him. | ||
| Louis Joylin West pronounced him crazy, but what West did not say was that he was working for the CIA at the time. | ||
| He was an expert on mind control and a prominent player in the now infamous MKUltra program in which the CIA gave powerful psychiatric drugs to Americans without their knowledge. | ||
| So of all the psychiatrists in the world, what in the world was that guy doing in Jack Ruby's prison cell? | ||
| Yeah, what in the world was he doing there? | ||
| That's Tom O'Neil. | ||
| That's Chaos. | ||
| Fucking great book. | ||
| Great book. | ||
| I can't recommend it enough on Charles Manson. | ||
| It's so crazy what the CIA was doing. | ||
| They taught him how to be a cult leader. | ||
| They gave him acid. | ||
| They taught him how to take it. | ||
| They taught him how to give it to people and not take it and pretend you're taking it and then manipulate them. | ||
| I mean, that guy didn't just learn on his own out on the street. | ||
| Like, he went through a program that got him to develop this gang of hippie killers. | ||
| What they did was wild. | ||
| Like, they engineered the Manson family. | ||
| And that every time he got arrested, they got him out of jail. | ||
| Like, he would get arrested and people were like, well, why are you letting him out of jail? | ||
| And the sheriff would be like, well, it's above my pay grade. | ||
| They just got visited, guy showed badges, like, open the door, let him out, shut the fuck up, we'll be back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's what they did with Whitey Bulger, too, man. | ||
| I mean, the history of them doing that is so nuts. | ||
| There's so many times that these agencies have had someone working with them that's evil as fuck, and they let them get away with stuff. | ||
| How many times they've done that with drug dealers to get them to rat on all the other drug dealers? | ||
| How many times they've done that with so many fucking creeps? | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| The Whitey Bulger ones. | ||
| Nuts, though. | ||
| When people found out that he was an FBI informant, they were like, what? | ||
| That guy? | ||
| Dude, he won the lottery twice. | ||
| Literally? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What? | ||
| Won the lottery twice. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Do you know how cocky you have to be when you're rigging the lottery to win it twice? | ||
| Do you know how cocky you have to be? | ||
| Google that. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's true. | ||
| He won it once? | ||
| At least once. | ||
| I'm seeing him about a second time. | ||
| I feel like he won it twice. | ||
| $14.3 million jackpot he claimed in 1991. There you go. | ||
| And what was the other time? | ||
| I hope I'm not making this up. | ||
| No, it seems like there is something else. | ||
| I feel like I'm not making it up. | ||
| And I feel like what the scam was, was it was a way to launder money. | ||
| So if somebody won the lottery, like say if you won the lottery and you won a million dollars, say, listen, I'll give you 1.2, you know, and you give that ticket to me. | ||
| And then now I've gotten rid of a million dollars. | ||
| I don't have to, you know, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like you can move stuff around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That you could say this is where I got my money from and people can't say shit Crazy. | ||
| Because you wouldn't even have to give them a million too. | ||
| Because the way the lottery thing works, they give you like X amount per year for like forever. | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| Or you could take all of it at once, but you don't get nearly as much, right? | ||
| Isn't that the deal? | ||
| I always thought that I would do the longer, like just be like, I don't have to ever work again. | ||
| I'll have, you know, $100,000 a month. | ||
| Like that's enough, you know? | ||
| But then if you die, do your family get that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Yeah, probably not. | ||
| It's probably a clause that cuts you off. | ||
| Yeah, so then there's that. | ||
| It's like, you know, you're not around anymore. | ||
| Yeah, we're not paying you. | ||
| What is the difference, like, say if you win like the Powerball and you win a hundred million bucks. | ||
| What's the difference between the payoff and the overtime payments? | ||
| Overtime gets you to $100 million, but what's the payoff? | ||
| Like, if you want it all at once, you want to go crazy. | ||
| Why would you say this? | ||
| Like, you got coke and bullets and you're ready to go. | ||
| You just want to go nuts. | ||
| You're like, no, no, no, I want all the money. | ||
| If you're just like some wild dude that all of a sudden gets a $100 million thing in... | ||
| What is it like... | ||
| 40 million? | ||
| Like, how much is it? | ||
| Yeah, what would your percent be? | ||
| You'd say 40%? | ||
| Yeah, I would wonder what the drop-off is. | ||
| I'd say 50. 50? | ||
| Think it's half? | ||
| I think it's 65. Well, you also have to pay taxes on that half, too. | ||
| You have to think of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're not really getting 100 million. | ||
| So if they give you 50, and then what does the government take? | ||
| I bet they take, like, half. | ||
| It's about half. | ||
| For something like that? | ||
| For something crazy like a lottery? | ||
| Give me my piece, bitch! | ||
| $1.35 billion, the payout was $707 billion. | ||
| Yep, so it's about $50 billion. | ||
| Yeah, somewhere in that range. | ||
| And then, how much of that do they have to pay in taxes? | ||
| Even if they pay half? | ||
| Cha-ching! | ||
| It's probably like 40%. | ||
| Can you imagine how many times that guy has to change his phone number? | ||
| The IRS will take 24% off the top, and the rest will do it tax time. | ||
| 24% off the top of the rest of the tax top. | ||
| So it's tax time now. | ||
| So for the $1.35 billion, it says, it did the math on this. | ||
| Jump, skip down. | ||
| Set 60. Here we go. | ||
| If the cash option is taken at 7.07, you owe $170 million in federal taxes. | ||
| Jeez Louise. | ||
| You lost 800 of the $1.35 you won. | ||
| That is pretty wild. | ||
| But isn't it crazy how much the government takes? | ||
| We would like $169 million, please. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ukraine. | ||
| That's our score. | ||
| So the government wins always. | ||
| Every time someone wins the lottery, the government wins. | ||
| That's a giant win too. | ||
| So the setup is you get a bunch of people. | ||
| They all throw their money at this thing because they're all... | ||
| It's legalized gambling 100% because no one's limiting the amount of tickets you can buy. | ||
| You can go nutty, right? | ||
| People go nutty. | ||
| They buy hundreds of tickets, right? | ||
| And then when you win, the government wins. | ||
| The government gets a stake every time. | ||
| How many lotteries are there? | ||
| How often does that happen? | ||
| That's a great question. | ||
| So that money's just coming in. | ||
| And so you're just, the government is basically a casino. | ||
| And they get the best cut of any casino. | ||
| They can't lose. | ||
| It's not like you can win and the house pays you. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That was the money that came from all you people throwing your money into this thing. | ||
| And then we get paid! | ||
| They get paid an enormous amount. | ||
| Imagine if you're running for president and you said, the government never taxes you on your winnings! | ||
| No more lottery! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| They didn't play! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You put your hard-earned money into that pot! | |
| JFK 2, coming this summer. | ||
| Can you imagine how quick they'd kill you if you tried to take away that lottery money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| How many times do they have a $169 million payout like that? | ||
| What is a Powerball? | ||
| How often does that take place? | ||
| There's a bunch of different ones too, right? | ||
| Twice a week! | ||
| Is there just one Powerball? | ||
| There's Powerball and there's Mega Millions. | ||
| They alternate. | ||
| It's like Tuesday, Friday, Wednesday, Saturday, or something like that. | ||
| That big one, the biggest lottery payout ever that just happened, there's a guy saying that he stole it from him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So there's this whole controversy about that. | |
| Well, if you were a crazy person and you decided that someone stole it from you, all you'd have to do is accuse him of it, and the next thing you know, you're in court. | ||
| And you're in court with some fucking guy dressed like Robert William Aprivao. | ||
| That was mine. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| On my front porch. | ||
| I remember it. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| He died? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last week. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I wouldn't use him as a reference. | ||
| I loved that guy. | ||
| His uncle or whatever found him, though, and I guess he was sitting there with a big smile on his face, so that was positive. | ||
| He was a fun guy. | ||
| He was a nice guy. | ||
| Never shake hands. | ||
| Never shake hands. | ||
| Couldn't even give him knuckles. | ||
| He was not interested in anything like that. | ||
| He would always send me messages about you and, like, Texas and stuff like that, like, random things. | ||
| Well, I used to protect him from the goons. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| The goons would always pick on him because he was, like, such an odd guy. | ||
| I was like, leave him alone, man. | ||
| He's a nice guy. | ||
| He's just... | ||
| You're one of the few, I just found this out, that, like, Brian Moses, me, you, are one of the few that he actually talked normal to. | ||
| Oh, I had conversations with him about marijuana, because he was a marijuana advocate, and he was an attorney at one point in time in his life. | ||
| He just had a mental health breakdown. | ||
| I don't know the extent of it. | ||
| He didn't talk about it in depth, but I loved that guy. | ||
| He was a good guy. | ||
| I would always have a smile for him when I saw him. | ||
| I was always happy to see him. | ||
| We always talked. | ||
| Even briefly, he would ask me about marijuana questions. | ||
| So he just wanted to talk, make sure you still like him, you're cool with him. | ||
| He was just an odd guy. | ||
| And then he would go on stage, and he was pretty funny, man. | ||
| He'd make me laugh. | ||
| He would kind of do the same act forever. | ||
| But I saw that act, dude, in like 95. Yeah. | ||
| I saw that act back in the day. | ||
| He was around for a long time. | ||
| And he would have to walk home when it was raining out, and he would take his shirts, because he wore the same shirt every day, and he would stuff plastic bags inside all the linings and cover everything with plastic bags. | ||
| That's how he stayed dry while he was walking home. | ||
| He walked home. | ||
| He lived in a flophouse in downtown. | ||
| And so he would walk home. | ||
| It was like a fucking hour and a half walk. | ||
| Yeah, just more. | ||
| Yeah, probably more. | ||
| Yeah, he'd do it every night. | ||
| Every time he went there. | ||
| So many wild characters would gravitate towards that place. | ||
| Oh my god, so many crazy people. | ||
| So many just full-on nutters. | ||
| Robert William Apovaya! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There he is. | |
| Boone Shakalaka also supposedly passed. | ||
| Rest in peace, Boone. | ||
| You sold me a lot of lighters. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Half my wardrobe. | ||
| Yeah, Boone was always selling stuff. | ||
| Come by with records and shit. | ||
| I know people who bought good records from him. | ||
| He had a laptop once, and I really needed one. | ||
| I was like, brand new. | ||
| I was poor as hell. | ||
| I'm like, what do I have to do to get this laptop, Boone? | ||
| He's like, why don't you show me your dick? | ||
| And I swear to God, I'm like, look, Boone, that's gay as hell, but I need a laptop. | ||
| I'm in a pool because I was wearing like sweatpants at the time. | ||
| I'm like, just peek over here. | ||
| Come on, you son of a bitch. | ||
| I'll give you one glance. | ||
| Get over here. | ||
| And he peeked over. | ||
| I showed him. | ||
| I take the laptop. | ||
| I go, I plug it in. | ||
| And it was broken as hell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That story has been passed around so many times, I've never heard you actually talk about it. | |
| Yeah, if I was with you, I'd say, hey, plug it in first. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plug it in first. | ||
| You can't trust a laptop you buy off of a homeless guy. | ||
| That wants to see your dick that badly. | ||
| I want one thing and one thing only. | ||
| I want to see that dick. | ||
| There's Boom. | ||
| Boom chakalaka. | ||
| Boone's another character that was around for 25 years, at least. | ||
| Maybe more. | ||
| I remember when he first started hanging around. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| Every single night he was there. | ||
| There was this Russian dude who always sold lighters, too. | ||
| You remember that guy? | ||
| Yes, Monkey Balls. | ||
| I saw him right before I moved here. | ||
| Dude, that guy used to have the craziest lighters. | ||
| He'd sell you a lighter, and you'd press the button, and it would be like a girl's figure, and her bikini would light up in different colors. | ||
| He used to buy so many of those. | ||
| I have two of them still somewhere. | ||
| Oh, I wish I had them still. | ||
| I loved them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he just always had like a box of them. | ||
| He was like selling lighters. | ||
| He would come around. | ||
| He wasn't a comic. | ||
| Just a guy would hang around and sell lighters. | ||
| I never met Monkey Balls. | ||
| Yeah, he stopped hanging around Mencia days. | ||
| He moved on to Greener Pastures. | ||
| He was outside of the, what's that, diner down the street. | ||
| That's where he hangs now. | ||
| Oh, does he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mel's. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He hangs at Mel's now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that him? | |
| No. | ||
| No, who's that cat? | ||
| I don't know, somebody named Monkey Balls. | ||
| Oh, another dude named Monkey Balls? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh, well, our guy wasn't a comic. | ||
| No. | ||
| Our guy was just a dude. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| That would just hang out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's had cigarettes, too. | ||
| You could buy cigarettes from him. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| He sold cigarettes? | ||
| Yeah, he always had a suitcase of everything. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's such a weird fucking place. | ||
| And the fact that it was on Sunset too, like Sunset's such a weird place. | ||
| There's just so many hopes and dreams and it's like there was a thing about that club that no other club will ever be able to recreate. | ||
| And that thing was that like that was our legitimate launching pad. | ||
| Everybody knew that if you could get there, and if you could make it there, you could actually make it as a comic. | ||
| There was this one place where it was just universally regarded as an epicenter of some of the all-time greats. | ||
| Universally regarded and that it was in Hollywood and it was back at the time where that meant like you'd be in films and you'd be on television and it was like that stand-up was like a Pathway to all these other insane worlds that Robin Williams was in now, you know It was just a different place. | ||
| There's no place ever gonna be like that No matter what we could do in Austin, it's going to be a different vibe. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| You could redo it at that club, man. | ||
| It has so much magic. | ||
| You could already feel the magic. | ||
| You don't redo it, though. | ||
| You do a new thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You do a new thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But that thing, that one thing, part of that thing, the lack of organization, the way it was so chaotic, that's some of the beauty of that thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Some of the beauty of that thing was the nuttiness of it, that people would be hanging out in the back, smoking weed until 4.30 in the morning, just talking and laughing. | ||
| You know, and then I'll see you tomorrow and then it was we'll see you tomorrow and we'd come back the next day and it was it was a Party as much as it was like a great place to perform. | ||
| It was a great place to hang out with comics Yeah, it really by design the patio that wrapped around was insane like what an architectural monstrosity for artists and creativity like Because that's it. | ||
| You're hanging out outside. | ||
| We know the weather's 80 degrees. | ||
| It was built for that. | ||
| Perfectly. | ||
| It used to be, before all the blizzards. | ||
| The blizzards! | ||
| Yeah, it rained like crazy in LA, right? | ||
| Yeah, and snowed. | ||
| Did it snow in LA? It sleeted and hailed, so pretty much, kind of. | ||
| But Burbank, the mountains in Burbank, all snow-covered. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| It snowed once back in the day. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| I was running with my dogs, and I was running in the hills. | ||
| And as we were running, I was like, what is going on? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| And snow was falling. | ||
| I'm like, this is fucking nuts. | ||
| And I didn't even have a cell phone back then. | ||
| Or I didn't have a cell phone camera back then. | ||
| I wasn't running with one. | ||
| Someone told me that it snowed in Miami yesterday. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| Snowed in Miami? | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| That's fucked up shit. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the day after tomorrow type shit. | ||
| Remember that stupid movie? | ||
| Have you been watching that new show? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh my god, it looks so good. | ||
| Yesterday. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It didn't just jump up to 85 degrees. | ||
| It does that here. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| No, it didn't snow in Miami, bro. | ||
| You're on the wrong TikTok. | ||
| We're both getting duped by TikTok. | ||
| TikTok show in Michigan. | ||
| Like, look what's happening to Miami. | ||
| And it gets 500 million views. | ||
| And the Chinese are laughing at us. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, you're in a bad algorithm, kid. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I'm not even on the TikTok. | ||
| You on TikTok? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's good for laying in bed right before you sleep. | ||
| It's good for them finding exactly where you are at all times. | ||
| Yeah, and everything about you. | ||
| It's good for them knowing every password you've ever devised. | ||
| It's good for knowing what two-factor authentication app you use and what your password to that is. | ||
| Speaking of which, they finally announced three years later that it was a lab leak out of Wuhan. | ||
| The Wall Street Journal. | ||
| Everyone knew that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| New York Times, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Duh. | ||
| After we knew that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, the energy department said it, which is a little weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like they're leaking it out slowly so that it's not something that they can never say they figured out. | ||
| Like, if they deny it, deny it, deny it, and then it gets to this overwhelming part where everybody realizes it came out of there. | ||
| Then it looks horrible. | ||
| So you just have to like slowly do it. | ||
| Do it through the energy. | ||
| The energy department is such a weird department to do that through. | ||
| Maybe they did the cover up for the Sam Britton thing. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| So what does it say? | ||
| If anyone knows about a weird leak, it's probably that lady. | ||
| Energy department finds COVID-19 most likely emerged from lab leak. | ||
| Reports say what we know. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Pretty crazy. | ||
| Because that's the official government now. | ||
| I mean, it's like they must have gotten approval to do that, right? | ||
| It's not like there's some rogue agents at the Department of Energy. | ||
| It's like, I know what I'm gonna fucking do! | ||
| I'm gonna let everybody know where this virus came from! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, that guy's got a boss. | |
| It's fucking crazy, dude. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| It's really weird that the truth slowly but surely comes out about all this stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I think that's what's gonna happen with Palestine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Looking into it, it says with low confidence they have concluded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what that means, but they're saying it. | ||
| You know, I don't know what they mean by low confidence. | ||
| If you talk to biologists, like when Brett Weinstein has broken down why he believes it was a manipulated virus, he's saying that because he's a biologist who studied coronaviruses from bats. | ||
| He actually studied the very animal that he's talking about. | ||
| So when he explains why this doesn't make sense and why this, like, the structure of the thing has been altered, and when he's doing it, he's doing it from a very scientific perspective. | ||
| And when you hear that, like, it's, duh. | ||
| And he said that at the early days. | ||
| And it got him in trouble with YouTube. | ||
| It got him in trouble with a lot of his friends. | ||
| A lot of people got really crazy about it. | ||
| They thought that saying that it was from a lab connected it to China, which connected it to Trump saying it came from China, which was bad. | ||
| Because Trump called it the China virus and everybody was like, that's racist. | ||
| And so even if you connect it to that, If you're wrong, like, if you're wrong about that, like, if you're the one that's saying, hey, this is a lab leak and it's not a lab leak and you're shaming those people, people get very upset at you. | ||
| So you have to be really fucking clear before you say it came from China for sure, from a lab. | ||
| And then when you find out that maybe the United States had a little bit involved in funding that type of research, you're like, what? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| The FBI said they confirmed it with moderate confidence in 2021. Yeah, so the FBI says it too. | ||
| Moderate confidence in 2021, and that's a lot better than low confidence. | ||
| Moderate confidence is like, yeah, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Four other federal agencies have concluded the pandemic began from natural transmission, and two agencies are undecided. | ||
| Oh, okay, so there's an ideological dispute within the agencies. | ||
| I wonder what the other agencies that think it's coming from natural selection. | ||
| I wonder what their evidence is. | ||
| Because it doesn't seem like there's a lot of evidence that points in that direction. | ||
| What wild the coincidence would be if it started from that in Wuhan, which had a coronavirus lab. | ||
| So weird! | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| Remember when Jon Stewart went on Colbert and had that whole rant about it coming from the lab and Colbert tried to step all over it? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ugh! | ||
| Ugh! | ||
| Did you hear Woody Harrelson on SNL? Did you see that immediately after Woody Harrelson had that monologue on SNL where he's joking around about a drug company forcing you to take their drug? | ||
| Right after it, the next day, there's all these hit pieces. | ||
| Like they were timed. | ||
| There's a hit piece in Vox. | ||
| There's a hit piece in Vanity Fair. | ||
| There's a hit piece calling him an anti-vaxxer and a stoner. | ||
| Sucked on cheers. | ||
| Conspiracy theories. | ||
| He's pushing conspiracy theories. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| That's not what he's doing. | ||
| He's a joke monologue on SNL about something that makes people laugh. | ||
| Because you can kind of make a weird comparison to those two. | ||
| That's the only reason why the joke works. | ||
| The only reason why it works is because people are thinking it. | ||
| So for you guys to come out and say, oh, conspiracy theories, no, it's jokes about a possible conspiracy theory. | ||
| And the one that he's describing, it's not even a real one. | ||
| He's making a joke about what the real one was like. | ||
| Maybe not the best joke. | ||
| Maybe not the best delivery. | ||
| It's SNL. But the fact that that got this immediate response where all these people defend the pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| They're all jumping in and defending them. | ||
| Like in unison, they're all anti-vaxxer, stoner. | ||
| You know, instead of saying it sucked, instead of saying, hey, stick to acting, you know, it's like they all wanted to jump in to defend the vaccine. | ||
| They all wanted to jump in to defend the pharmaceutical companies from this anti-vaxxer, stoner actor who's talking. | ||
| It's just interesting that they all take that route. | ||
| I get criticized in the monologue, but all taking that route. | ||
| That's an anti-vax conspiracy theory. | ||
| Like, is it? | ||
| No, he's joking about a way things went down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, there's a lot to what he's saying, like, forcing you to take their drug. | ||
| Like, that kind of was happening. | ||
| And if you weren't getting forced, you were certainly getting coerced. | ||
| You were getting urged on by the government. | ||
| There was probably a commercial for a medicine right after that. | ||
| Probably right away. | ||
| Right away. | ||
| It's not like they're not spending money on all this stuff. | ||
| Like, why are we pretending? | ||
| And so when he makes that joke and he talks about them buying all the media And then all the media responds as if they've been bought and paid for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's pretty wild. | |
| There's so many articles written about them, like right away. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| I always look at both sides and CNN had it, but also CNN is owned by the same company that owns SNL. So it's tricky because they don't want to make them look bad. | ||
| But they, you know... | ||
| Angled it like it was him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even though what we know is that these scripts are approved days in advance. | ||
| Yeah, they had to prove that unless he went out and Dave Chappelle'd it. | ||
| Yeah, he didn't. | ||
| Dave had two different monologues. | ||
| Dave ran one monologue by everybody and killed. | ||
| And they're like, this is great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then he goes out and does a whole separate one. | |
| God bless him. | ||
| God bless him. | ||
| If Woody Harrelson did that, God bless him. | ||
| But, you know, look, the fact that everybody jumped in like that was just very interesting. | ||
| I know the reporters, and I know they have to report on things, and I know that's a good snarky way to get people to read your article. | ||
| But, like, that seems coordinated. | ||
| It's a rough one, too, because Woody Harrelson's a badass motherfucker, so it's like someone that's hard to attack. | ||
| I mean, everything he's done is great. | ||
| He's so undeniable, so cool. | ||
| Even his delivery of the thing that wasn't that funny, but purposeful, kind of, is a... | ||
| It was good. | ||
| Yeah, it was good. | ||
| Especially for a guy who's not a comic. | ||
| He's doing stand-up, essentially. | ||
| He's doing a monologue. | ||
| Truly one of the best comedic actors. | ||
| Oh my god, man. | ||
| Kingpin? | ||
| Kingpin is amazing. | ||
| I just rewatched that. | ||
| Kingpin is amazing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| God damn, that movie's funny. | ||
| He's throwing up every time he pictures her. | ||
| That's the Farrelly brothers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I think that might be their best one. | ||
| That and Something About Mary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something About Mary is amazing. | |
| I worked with him. | ||
| I punched up a script for him. | ||
| Peter? | ||
| Yeah, for a new Amazon thing that came out a few years ago. | ||
| I can't even remember the name of it. | ||
| Anyway, and I told him that, and it was like a moment, you know what I mean, where I had this thing loaded up, and I go, Kingpin, by the way, I mean, I think that should have had an Oscar without a doubt. | ||
| And he goes, I've always thought the same thing. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| He goes, I've always thought it was my best work. | ||
| He has it above Dumb and Dumber, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's definitely better than that. | ||
| Kingpin is like, it's on another level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's one of the best comedy movies of all time, for sure. | ||
| And it's got Showdown in it. | ||
| Electric Light Orchestra. | ||
| That final scene where Bill Murray's hair is slowly fucking going crazy. | ||
| I mean, that's the thing. | ||
| When we're in the green room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, tell people, when we're in the green room, that's the song we listen to. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| All around the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The O2 Arena, MSG. This is the comb over when it's flying around. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And the fact that it's about bowling. | ||
| Yeah, and Amish. | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| It made me want to have a bowling alley in my house, though. | ||
| When I saw that movie, I was like, that's my dream! | ||
| How many people went bowling after they saw that? | ||
| Fucking everybody. | ||
| And he's got the comb over, too. | ||
| They make it like it's a bowling thing where these guys just are trying to keep their hair that they don't have. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They're making fun of everything. | ||
| Dude, so good. | ||
| Such a good movie. | ||
| It's so funny, man. | ||
| When he has to have sex with the landlady because he can't afford the rent. | ||
| And then he's throwing up. | ||
| You know, she's the same girl in Something About Mary that laid that tan too much. | ||
| Oh, is that the same lady? | ||
| Yeah, same lady. | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
| Isn't she in something, Happy Gilmore or something, too? | ||
| She's in something else, I think. | ||
| I feel like she's like... | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure she is. | ||
| She looks so much better than... | ||
| She was in Insidious. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| She's in the whole Insidious movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Franchise. | ||
| One, two, three. | ||
| I didn't know there was that many of them. | ||
| What's Insidious about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How do I not know this? | ||
| I've never heard of it. | ||
| I think it's about those people. | ||
| We talked about it with Sam and Colby, but there's this couple that did a bunch of these stories, and they've made movies out of all of their interactions almost. | ||
| Oh, so this is all like Poltergeist movies? | ||
| I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's a lead in it. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah, she plays the badass lady who's not afraid of this. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| And so this Insidious franchise, how long has that been going on for? | ||
| A couple years for sure. | ||
| I've seen one, two of them maybe. | ||
| Are they good? | ||
| Not awful. | ||
| There you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
33%. | |
| It's a good little scary movie. | ||
| You've got to be into those scary kind of movies or whatever. | ||
| It's not a comedy. | ||
| It's not a drama. | ||
| Yo, you know what I saw recently that was really wild? | ||
| Smile. | ||
| Have you seen Smile? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| It's fucking creepy. | ||
| It's a horror movie. | ||
| But it's good, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| There's something really fucking creepy about it. | ||
| The marketing they did during the summer was crazy. | ||
| They had people showing up at different sporting events, getting on camera, just standing there smiling for, like, nine innings of a baseball game. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good way to get the fuck beating out of you. | |
| That's scary. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good way to get the fuck beating out of you in the wrong place. | ||
| Try that shit in Philadelphia. | ||
| Oh my God, that's not good. | ||
| That's so crazy that they did that. | ||
| You know that black lady's like, what the hell? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh, that's so scary. | ||
| Dude, if you see that movie, that's fucking scary. | ||
| If you see that movie, that is scary. | ||
| I'm telling you, people smiling ain't scary. | ||
| Oh, I don't have it on the screen, sorry. | ||
| She's just sitting in a rain delay by herself. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What the fuck is this creepy ass shit at the Yankees game? | ||
| Bro, that would freak me the fuck out. | ||
| Imagine if you had anxiety, and you just got way too high, and you go to the... | ||
| Yeah, that would freak me the fuck out. | ||
| You go to the game, and there's a lady sitting there smiling. | ||
| You know how bad you... | ||
| If you were on acid, and that happened... | ||
| Dude, I had a fucking mushroom cap last Monday after a show, went to see some music, and that's how I felt. | ||
| It was like that. | ||
| I had a weird one. | ||
| I had a weird little... | ||
| It was a dark little fucking... | ||
| I'm not doing mushrooms after hosting Kill Tony anymore. | ||
| I learned a weird thing. | ||
| My brain's too, like, open and stuff. | ||
| Also, like, you're probably tired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Exhausted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, completely. | ||
| You're thinking about going to sleep, and then all of a sudden, Mushroom's like, nope. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No sleeping. | ||
| Contemplate humanity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Contemplate your existence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Contemplate your place in time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No more mushrooms on a Monday for Tony. | ||
| Experience all these life forms. | ||
| Trying to make their way through this realm. | ||
| When you're out in public and you're Truman, it's just such a strange feeling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't like it. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I've been, you know, the cool thing about moving to LA so young is that I had so many of those great Joshua Tree trips. | ||
| And that's where I started. | ||
| And I'm like, this is great. | ||
| I'm laughing. | ||
| I can do this. | ||
| That's one thing that, like, Oregon's figured out before California has. | ||
| They made that legal up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I read a thing about how legalized prostitution lowers rapes and sexual crimes by an insane percentage. | ||
| This is a new thing that just came out. | ||
| I think legalized prostitution, if we were living in a place that had legalized prostitution always, it had always existed, I think we would all be pretty cool with it. | ||
| I know that sounds crazy because you don't want your daughter, your sister, your mother to do that, but I think that, okay, while prostitution itself is legal, many activities associated with it, such as brothels, soliciting in a public place, and pimping are illegal. | ||
| Prostitution Bill 2011 was introduced to regulate the industry and allow brothels in non-residential areas. | ||
| Where is this at? | ||
| Australia. | ||
| Oh, Australia has rules like that. | ||
| Yeah, that's like Jim Jeffries had a joke about that, about his dad going to the brothel. | ||
| But it's like when there's something like that has always existed, I think people would just, it would just be a normal thing. | ||
| But when you try to make something legal that is illegal, people think their whole life of something is being a terrible thing and it's illegal. | ||
| Shouldn't be able to do it. | ||
| And so we have it in our head that it's a terrible thing. | ||
| Because it does have terrible consequences for some people. | ||
| Like prostitution must have bad consequences for some people. | ||
| And being involved with people intimately that you don't even know for cash. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like as much as we want to think that it's just like getting a massage, it's a little bit more. | ||
| It's a little weirder. | ||
| It's like someone's not just rubbing you to make you feel better. | ||
| They're sexually pleasuring you. | ||
| Should it be illegal? | ||
| Why would it be illegal when it's legal to just have sex with someone for free? | ||
| Like, gold digging's legal. | ||
| You could fuck some old rich guy and steal his money. | ||
| That's legal. | ||
| Like, why shouldn't you be allowed to make a deal with a person? | ||
| Like, you want a blowjob? | ||
| I want a thousand dollars. | ||
| Like, that, to me, seems like a normal human right. | ||
| Whether you want to do it or not, both people are consenting. | ||
| I think it's out of our hands. | ||
| It should be out of everybody's hands. | ||
| If two people agree, and one person says, like, hey, I'll help you move your couch, but I want 50 bucks. | ||
| And you're like, okay, help me move the couch inside, I'll give you 50 bucks. | ||
| It's a deal. | ||
| Like, your friend, some neighbor, whatever, makes a deal with you. | ||
| If you say, hey, you need 50 bucks, I want to come in your mouth. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| And he's like, alright. | ||
| Nobody's gonna care about that. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about male prostitution. | ||
| Zero people care. | ||
| Zero concern for the male prostitutes. | ||
| Fucking zero. | ||
| How many guys are out there worried about all the guys that are blowing gay guys for cash? | ||
| Fucking zero people are worried about it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| What's the filming at loophole then? | ||
| The filming at loophole is that if you're doing pornography, you could pay someone for cash. | ||
| What if it's a private collection of pornography? | ||
| Yes, you can do that. | ||
| There is a loophole, apparently. | ||
| There was some girl who used to tell people that at the comedy store. | ||
| She'd tell people that, yeah, if we do it on camera, you could pay me for sex. | ||
| And if you take them to dinner first. | ||
| Crazy crackhead. | ||
| Yeah, but if, yeah, you could, if you think about, like, Gold digging is a fascinating thing when you see it so clear when it's like really obvious that this you know 26 year old bombshells dating an 80 year old billionaire like it's hilarious like but this is a deal There's a deal like he has access to incredible resources so much wealth things you couldn't possibly imagine But you gotta suck that old dick. | ||
| What did you what was the old Anna Nicole? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah J Howard Marshall. | ||
| Yeah He's 90. I'm like, don't you think he knows? | ||
| He made a billion dollars from scratch. | ||
| He knows the fuck he's doing. | ||
| He's like Leonardo DiCaprio is going to be eventually. | ||
| Yeah, Leo's pushing it. | ||
| He's pushing it. | ||
| He might want to settle down soon. | ||
| It's starting to get weird. | ||
| But it's like, that's legal. | ||
| We all agree that's legal. | ||
| But if he just say it, like, flat out to her, I'll pay you for sex, that's illegal. | ||
| Which is really interesting. | ||
| Like, it has to be some sort of a weird thing, where he gives her money because he loves her, but, you know, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| It's a little odd. | ||
| It's a little odd because, like, you can't go to, like, the 26-year-old that marries the 80-year-old billionaire and go, hey, do you really love him? | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| You can't, like, grill her. | ||
| Are you committing a crime here, young lady? | ||
| Are you swindling this poor old Alzheimer's patient out of all his money by blowing him? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| But nobody would stop that. | ||
| Zero people stop that. | ||
| Maybe the family. | ||
| Maybe the family that thought this young floozy is going to take all the loot. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That happens. | ||
| For sure that happens. | ||
| Oh, they must be scared to death when an animal walks in. | ||
| If you're like an old billionaire dude, you do not get a hot nurse. | ||
| Not a chance. | ||
| Not a fucking chance. | ||
| The wife is never going to let a hot nurse in the house. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That hot nurse is going to be working on this dude going, listen, your wife's kind of a cunt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Yeah, here's two black rhinos. | ||
| Yeah, let's go! | ||
| I'll lock that door. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| How much time you got left, Harry? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I'm your nurse, I'll tell you. | ||
| Not much. | ||
| Not a lot of time. | ||
| Let's fuck! | ||
| Just buy me a house. | ||
| Harry, buy me a house. | ||
| That's probably what she says when she sticks it in. | ||
| Harry, buy me a house. | ||
| This is a very generic website, but is this real? | ||
| Datebillionaire.com? | ||
| Yeah, it's real. | ||
| The largest billionaire dating site online? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Datebillionaire.com. | ||
| Who's it for? | ||
| The billionaires? | ||
| Billionaire dating site, date billionaires on datebillionaire.com. | ||
| Welcome to datebillionaire.com, the most professional dating site for billionaire men and beautiful women. | ||
| What about billionaire women? | ||
| Listen to the way that's phrased. | ||
| Welcome to datebillionaire.com, the most professional dating site for billionaire men and beautiful women. | ||
| Is there some unprofessional dating sites for billionaire men? | ||
| I mean, what are they saying? | ||
| Not as easy to use as this. | ||
| We should sign up for free. | ||
| That sounds like someone who doesn't know English that good. | ||
| That's why I thought it was real. | ||
| Can I see that again? | ||
| Yeah, that's tricky. | ||
| That statement, the way that's phrased, it's like, hey, where did you grow up? | ||
| That's why I think it got... | ||
| It is a weird thing, because at the bottom it goes to this, like, sugar daddy sites. | ||
| Yeah, it's almost like a porn. | ||
| Bro, this is like one of them Nigerian cats that set up this fishing net. | ||
| I just got a virus. | ||
| Yeah, you just got a virus clicking on that. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of them scams. | ||
| Those scams are beautiful when you get those fucking emails telling you that you have millions of dollars waiting. | ||
| All you have to do is give us your PIN number. | ||
| Have you heard of the... | ||
| It's been going on before the AI stuff, but people get called and they'll say that it sounds like someone they know, a child, whatever it is. | ||
| I'm kidnapped. | ||
| You need to send this person money. | ||
| To the person on the phone that's getting this call, it sounds 100% real. | ||
| I've read a lot of cases about this. | ||
| Oh, well, think about that now with AI. Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Their first call is not to a family member to be like, is this person really kidnapped? | ||
| Do you know where they are? | ||
| Geolocation, anything like that. | ||
| They send money. | ||
| It's happened a lot. | ||
| You're not going to be able to know. | ||
| You're not going to be able to know. | ||
| Well, that Joe Roat thing that you were supposedly selling those supplements, that AI thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's one of those. | ||
| That was pretty real. | ||
| It's a deep, fake one. | ||
| Yeah, me and Huberman. | ||
| And then there's another one with me doing a podcast with Steve Jobs. | ||
| Yes, that sounds awesome. | ||
| It's like a full podcast. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's actually really funny. | ||
| How long is the Steve Jobs Me podcast? | ||
| I think it's like 14 minutes or something. | ||
| Can you imagine if we had Richard Pryor as a guest on Kill Tony? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It would be more of a guest on a podcast because having a guest on Kill Tony, you'd have to respond to the different comedians. | ||
| It'd be too weird. | ||
| There's something I saw yesterday. | ||
| Oh my god, it's a fake Conan. | ||
| Conan Diffusion. | ||
| It's using a Diffusion app to make Conan, then his guests, and I don't know what it sounds like, Rogan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I hear you, but I promise I won't malfunction and start attacking the audience or anything. | |
| Speaking of malfunctioning, let's check out my dance moves. | ||
| I mean, it's not good, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it is. | |
| ...every now and then, although I have to say it's a little weird to smoke with a machine. | ||
| Yeah, I can imagine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But seriously, what can you tell us about your latest project? | |
| I have a horrible feeling about all this. | ||
| I have a horrible feeling that we are about to enter an era where you will have no idea what's true. | ||
| I have a horrible feeling just watching that. | ||
| Just watching that, I was like, that would be a really good way for us to move into some new phase of reality if you had absolutely no idea What was true and what was not. | ||
| You had no idea if someone did say that, or if that event actually did take place, or CGI. Can you imagine if there was a bunch of people out there saying that East Palestine was CGI? Morning, only to find that you weigh two pounds less. | ||
| Well, I have a theory about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's because we all have an inner fat man that comes out at night and eats all the snacks. | |
| It's like a secret nighttime binge that we never even knew about. | ||
| His dick just popped out for a second? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's odd. | |
| But that's just the beginning, man. | ||
| This is like the very first implementations of these. | ||
| This is like Pong. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| We're gonna get the Unreal 4 engine soon, you know, and that's gonna be really weird. | ||
| It's gonna be very weird. | ||
| You're gonna be able to never have to have an actor ever again. | ||
| For every movie you do, you could just do Leonardo DiCaprio when he was 39. You could do that over and over and over and over again. | ||
| And no one will be able to tell. | ||
| Like Bruce Willis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is an alleyway from Hong Kong recreated in Unreal 5. Oh my god. | ||
| Unreal 5 is fucking incredible. | ||
| Was Unreal 4 the one that we were raving about before? | ||
| No. | ||
| That was 5 as well? | ||
| That's 5 we've been talking about for about a year now. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So 5 was the one where they had the woman who was running in the cliffs? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They've been updating it, too. | ||
| Fuck, it's amazing. | ||
| They have this shit in VR. Dude, it's so good. | ||
| It's so good, it's crazy. | ||
| The fact that this is all artificial, sounds are artificial. | ||
| Sounds is the easiest thing, I think, to fake now. | ||
| Yeah, but this is crazy, man. | ||
| I mean, this is crazy. | ||
| It's so photorealistic. | ||
| And the fact that these guys have been constantly at this since the 90s. | ||
| When was the very first computer game that had a 3D Doom-style engine? | ||
| What was the first one? | ||
| Was it Castle Wolfenstein? | ||
| Castle Wolfenstein was the first one? | ||
| I can't imagine there was one before that, but I don't think there was. | ||
| Right, and Castle Wolfenstein was like on one very specific platform, right? | ||
| It was just PC, I thought. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Why did I think it was like a DOS game or something like that? | ||
| Ten games that came before Wolfenstein, but at least didn't look very good. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| So that was the, but that, so that was the first, Doom was the first big one. | ||
| Like when Doom, do you know what they came with the name, with the name Doom? | ||
| Remember the movie, The Color of Money? | ||
| When Tom Cruise goes to the pool hall, and this guy was the local hustler, sees Tom, he's sitting there with a big smile on his face. | ||
| He's got a pool cue in his lap. | ||
| He goes, what you got in that case, boy? | ||
| And he goes, in here? | ||
| In here? | ||
| And he opens it up and he goes, Doom. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I've never heard that before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Play that scene. | ||
| It's a dope scene. | ||
| It's supposed to be a balabushka, which is like this very famous pool cue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good game. | |
| Good game. | ||
| What you got in there? | ||
| In here? | ||
| - What are you doing? | ||
| - Wow. | ||
| - Come on, boy. | ||
| Let's play. | ||
| - Yeah, let's play. | ||
| - Yeah, let's play. | ||
| - Come on, boy. | ||
| Let's play. | ||
| - Yeah, let's play. - Come on, boy. | ||
| Let's play. | ||
| - Yeah, let's play. - Come on, boy. | ||
| Let's play. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| We're gonna have a lot of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a star! | |
| It's probably the best Tom Cruise movie of all time. | ||
| He's so cool. | ||
| The Color of Money rejuvenated pool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That fucking thing made everybody want to be a pool player. | ||
| That made me want to play. | ||
| Man. | ||
| That fucking movie was great. | ||
| He played Vince, this crazy pool hustler that Paul Newman's character, Fast Eddie Felsen, the original character from The Hustler, makes a comeback in the world of pool. | ||
| He got knocked out of pool by organized crime and that was the end of the movie The Hustlers that he could never go back to playing again. | ||
| It was a little bit before my time but pool hall junkies hit me right at a cool place fresh out of high school into film The problem with pool all junkies is they can't really play pool. | ||
| When you're watching them play pool, you're like, I'm not buying it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you're watching Tom Cruise play pool, Tom Cruise studied with Mike Siegel. | ||
| Mike Siegel, who was also a left-hander, like Tom Cruise is, Mike Siegel taught Tom Cruise how to play pool. | ||
| Like, he taught him how to stroke through the ball. | ||
| He taught him how to get down on the shot and look like a professional pool player. | ||
| Like, you look at him play, and it's a little stiff. | ||
| Like, I'm not totally buying it, because I watch a lot of professional pool, but he can play. | ||
| Like, you can see he knows how to run out. | ||
| He's moving the ball around correctly. | ||
| When you're watching Pool Hall Junkies, it's like, eh, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's sick. | ||
| Cast is great, though. | ||
| It's just, as a pool player, it's like... | ||
| There's only a couple of movies where they did pool correctly. | ||
| And the real ones are The Color of Money and The Hustler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of those things where you can't fake whether or not you can do it good. | ||
| It looks weird if you're faking it. | ||
| Like, if you don't really know how to play pool and you're down on a shot, you look all fucking goofy and shit. | ||
| Someone can tell right away. | ||
| So there's got to be something you do that's like that, right? | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| I was playing with David Lucas. | ||
| I mentioned this to you. | ||
| I was playing with David Lucas. | ||
| You said David plays good, you said. | ||
| He plays so good. | ||
| We were in Houston and we went to a pool hall both nights after all the shows. | ||
| And he doesn't get down at all. | ||
| We were literally laughing. | ||
| Nick was making jokes. | ||
| He's like one of those old Wild West movies where they just sling the guns out. | ||
| Because he doesn't bend over, but he's got a fucking stroke. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| A lot of big guys don't bend over. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, like if you watch one of the this like the guy named Steve Mizorak He's like one of the greatest of all time and he was a big guy especially later in his life. | ||
| He did those I think they're Bud Light commercials Some light beer commercial and it was him like doing trick shots on a pool table and he was a you know multiple-time world champion and In this one, he wasn't too big. | ||
| Like you could see, he's a big guy. | ||
| But see how he doesn't get down on the ball like a smaller pool player would. | ||
| Like a guy who's not. | ||
| See, there he is when he's very heavy late in life. | ||
| If you go to that picture right there where you see him right there, that's what he looked like later in life. | ||
| So he got very, very big. | ||
| He was still an amazing pool player, even as big as he was and as hard as it must have been to move around the table when you watched that guy move the ball around you. | ||
| Like, holy shit. | ||
| He was a master. | ||
| It was like he had this control of where that ball was going. | ||
| It's just beautiful to watch. | ||
| That's why you can't fake in like a Pool Hall Junkies movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You can't fake that. | ||
| So like if you're telling me this guy's the killer player and I watch him bang balls around. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, get out of here. | ||
| My Instagram algorithm's been showing me crazy pool shit. | ||
| I saw a guy make every ball on a break. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| It's not real? | ||
| No. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I just get breastfeeding videos all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Like they all these breastfeeding videos with like really like tick tocky like sexy girls breastfeeding I've been just that's hilarious lighting my it's all sure somewhere someone must have once made all the balls on the break I'm sure but when you're watching those balls go on the break one thing that's disturbing to me is that they all seem to be kind of moving in around the same speed That doesn't usually happen This one's not real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| See, they're all... | ||
| Well, the last one was kind of slow. | ||
| But I just don't think it's real. | ||
| She's hot. | ||
| I think it's fake. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| How'd they move again? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Look at that right there. | ||
| Yeah, watch. | ||
| None of those balls just move again. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you can see some shit. | ||
| It's missing frame 3-1-3. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They shot all those balls in the holes and filmed them going in. | ||
| But anyway... | ||
| You've been playing pool a lot locally. | ||
| I saw some pool players saying that you stopped in. | ||
| No, I just went to watch. | ||
| They had the Texas Open in town. | ||
| That guy, Fedor Gorst, who was on the podcast before, I went to watch him play. | ||
| I just wanted to stop in for a little bit, but it's a long-ass pool tournament that goes on all day. | ||
| Why are you showing me people breastfeeding? | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| What? | ||
| It's on my feed, too. | ||
| That's your feed? | ||
| You got breastfeeding on your feed? | ||
| Why are you getting breastfeeding on your feed? | ||
| It's a lot of weird... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have never had a breastfeeding video. | |
| Are you serious? | ||
| Jamie, what's going on with you? | ||
| It's a lot of... | ||
| Instagram turned into porn. | ||
| It really did. | ||
| No, we didn't. | ||
| This is because you guys are watching this shit and clicking on it and putting your little waiver over it and all the things. | ||
| A lot of Liver King stuff in there, son. | ||
| Is that Natty Liver King? | ||
| Is that what that's supposed to be? | ||
| Wait, is that him, Natty? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's a loophole where they're allowed to show breastfeeding videos on YouTube and stuff. | ||
| There's weird stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you hear about that YouTuber that just got 10 years for it? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| She lost her job and she started putting out videos of her breastfeeding on YouTube because YouTube has this law. | ||
| If it's educational, you're allowed to show breasts, like Brazilian wax or whatever. | ||
| And so she found out about that and started doing... | ||
| Like, I'm a dirty slut mom, and then pouring oil over the baby and her while doing it. | ||
| She just got sentenced to 10 years, but she blew up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Which is the charge. | ||
| Child endangerment, abuse. | ||
| If you're doing that with your kid, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Facing additional charges. | ||
| So what does it say she did? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| One count connected a series of sexualized breastfeeding videos involving her young son. | ||
| Oh, sexualized. | ||
| Young son. | ||
| Yeah, like putting oil on it and like, with captions like, I'm a dirty slut mom. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And shit like that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| 37 new counts of aggravated possession of child pornography stem from the videos which were sold online included footage of Felton Breastfeeding a toddler and sometimes involved her rubbing oil on herself and the child and other sexual acts depict child pornography investigators say fuck Damn. | ||
| Dude, again, there's crazy people out there. | ||
| There's crazy people out there. | ||
| And if that one's your mom, like, oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Imagine growing up to find out your mom was doing that while you were a baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder why I'm so weirded out by oil. | ||
| Now, it's interesting if that baby's going to, like, be a boob guy or an ass guy growing up. | ||
| I think that's where it comes from? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| How do you explain feet, guys? | ||
| I heard it's from feet. | ||
| It's when you're a baby crawling around. | ||
| Your mom had walking by you all the time. | ||
| And you start getting little baby boners from your dick rubbing against the carpet. | ||
| Or Tom and Jerry. | ||
| Baby boners. | ||
| Baby boners. | ||
| When did you get your first boner? | ||
| At what age? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I could kind of see why that might work. | ||
| Because my mom wasn't walking around a lot. | ||
| When I was a little kid and I'm not into feed at all. | ||
| I've always found it like very weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that kind of makes sense. | ||
| Meanwhile, my mom does... | ||
| I was drinking milk out of her. | ||
| She has gigantic boobs and I love big boobs. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, but who doesn't? | ||
| It's like saying, I love money. | ||
| Who doesn't love money? | ||
| Who doesn't love boobs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's one of those things. | |
| It's like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Who's like, ah, I fucking hate them. | ||
| Hate them, bro. | ||
| They're big and juicy. | ||
| Big and juicy and excited. | ||
| It's areola size. | ||
| A lot of people hate the big, giant areolas. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| My mom had the big areolas. | ||
| Dudes are weird with stuff, right? | ||
| I think, do you think that comes from porn? | ||
| Where they're staring at like a certain ideal all the time? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Like if you really give a fuck about areola size, is that really the deal breaker here? | ||
| I mean, have you seen those small ones that look like Hans Kim nipples? | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| Hans Kim nipples? | ||
| Like they're big but they have tiny. | ||
| Hans Kim has very normal, respectable nipples. | ||
| They're dark though. | ||
| Have you seen Hans Kim get out of the pool? | ||
| His nipples look fucking totally normal. | ||
| Tell, tell. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Him in Florida the other day. | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| We found out yesterday that he was at a pool party in Florida and he didn't bring a bathing suit so he went in his jeans but he did have swim goggles that he brought and a drone so he was in the swimming pool laughing Flying a drone with goggles on. | ||
| Like, what's up ladies? | ||
| Like Speedo goggles. | ||
| Wearing jeans. | ||
| That sounds like a Hans Kim move. | ||
| Jeans and a Rolex in a pool in Tampa with a drone. | ||
| That sounds like Hans Kim. | ||
| That's our boy. | ||
| That's an original. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| I said, why not buy a bathing suit? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| That's too complicated. | ||
| Nothing makes any sense. | ||
| You gotta fucking stop all logic at the Hans Kim door. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Just let him be Hans. | ||
| Let him swim with his pants on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a maniac. | ||
| It's one of the cool things about what you guys are doing with Kill Tony is you get to see a guy go from being first-timer on stage or first-timer on Kill Tony, been doing open mics, and then if you guys like him and make him a regular, then all of a sudden they're doing a minute every week, they develop fans, you put them on your shows, you go on the road with them. | ||
| In Hans' case, he went all the way to arenas in like eight months of being around here. | ||
| Being around here, what's interesting is that our last three regulars, David, Hans, and William, have all been doing it about eight years, right? | ||
| But what's cool is we're kind of, the last few weeks, getting back to our roots, we just gave a golden ticket to a guy named Aaron Belial. | ||
| God, he's amazing. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| And he has cerebral palsy. | ||
| No use of his left arm. | ||
| He walks fine. | ||
| But he's mute. | ||
| He can't speak at all. | ||
| So he takes the microphone, puts it on top of a Bluetooth speaker that he already has hooked up, and begins. | ||
| And how does he type it in? | ||
| He has a super fast thumb. | ||
| He has it down to where he can do like... | ||
| Swiping? | ||
| Yeah, swiping. | ||
| He just keeps his thumb. | ||
| Swipes. | ||
| He moves as fast as he can. | ||
| Have you ever been able to swipe? | ||
| Yeah, but I don't like it. | ||
| I don't trust it. | ||
| And then he goes voice to text. | ||
| So it just says out what he wrote. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But what's cool is that he's only been doing it six months right now. | ||
| And he's like a savant. | ||
| So we're getting to really reinforce good things. | ||
| He just has no notes at this point. | ||
| He's just crushing. | ||
| I gotta see that. | ||
| because Tom Green told me about him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah, Tom Green has a Bluetooth battery in a JBL. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's about 12 to 13 hours. | |
| Tony has been taking hormone treatments to have the figure of a female tennis player. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's actually true. | ||
| And I'm not there yet. | ||
| Still, I need a lot more injections to get to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything about you reminds me of Peter Pan, except the fact that Peter Pan was less like Tinkerbell than you are. | |
| He's just laying into me. | ||
| And also, Peter Pan didn't throw handicapped people off of his stage every once in a while. | ||
| With a fucking Gladiator 300 kick to the chest. | ||
| I will send you... | ||
| I will send you into caution's way. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And you ain't the type that she's gonna catch, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| There was a lesbian off of behind it. | ||
| That's cautious. | ||
| She's gonna take your cane and fucking shove it where the sun don't shine, which is a lot of places. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy's a bully, fuck. | |
| Yeah, he really is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He really is. | |
| Are you from Canada? | ||
| Is he Canadian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, if you had American healthcare, I might have caught that shit early. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I told him last week, you can really tell which arm they put the vaccine in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And he laughs and he rolls with everything. | ||
| His sense of humor is that of somebody that's been doing stand-up for 20 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's amazing. | |
| It's insane. | ||
| The green room hang. | ||
| I actually ended up... | ||
| I was at one of these bars. | ||
| My friends were playing music and it was packed. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Unbelievable fire hazard. | ||
| People dancing on picnic tables, shoulder to shoulder. | ||
| It was chaos. | ||
| I wanted to get out of there. | ||
| Everybody wanted to get out of there. | ||
| And I look and I see him leaning against... | ||
| The fence in the back, no drink, like he had just come in through the back door, can't move, can't get in. | ||
| I go, I get him a drink, and we end up hanging out for hours, having the best time, because it turns out he's a great fucking communicator in Hang, because when you're at loud bars or a concert, he just fucking shows you. | ||
| Shows you his phone, yeah. | ||
| And you're like, oh, you read what he's saying instead of me going, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did you say? | |
| So he's all doing it one-handed. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And he's just swiping all the words. | ||
| So how quick can he get a sentence out? | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| You could tell that the technology isn't where it needs to be for someone flying through their thoughts with only their thumb. | ||
| Especially with one hand. | ||
| Because most people are doing it with two hands. | ||
| He mentioned last night in the green room specifically that he's hoping for advancements in the field of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever you would call that. | ||
| And what's cool, though, he has a lot of responses already where he does a quick search, like, well, this is how I went. | ||
| So I told him I would make him a soundboard, but that's pretty much if you had your whole thing where it's just a soundboard. | ||
| Dude, talk about counting on Google Notes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, whatever he's counting on, whatever he's using, that shit's got to stay up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And battery life is very important. | ||
| You can't just show up at a club without good battery life. | ||
| He has two JBL Bluetooths fully charged hanging by his waist in case one dies. | ||
| He's got another one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Like guns. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He was roasting me last night live on this show and I go, you make one more fucking joke about me. | ||
| I'm going to play music on your Bluetooth. | ||
| And he's so cute because the last couple weeks he goes, are you sure it's okay to make fun of Tony? | ||
| I don't want him to be upset. | ||
| I'm like, oh, no, no, no. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Aaron Belisle. | ||
| He's another Canadian. | ||
| We also have, of course, Jared Nathan, who you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who's also a Canadian the last two golden ticket winners which I think there's only been ten in ten years of doing this show Which means you can perform it on any show if you're ever there for the for eternity the last two I realized this last night while high as a kite after the show have both been Handicapped people from Canada they make Jared Nathan should tell everybody What exactly does he have? | ||
| It's called globally delayed, but that basically means that he has a touch of everything. | ||
| He's like all types of what we used to call the R word. | ||
| Globally. | ||
| So that's what it means? | ||
| Does he say globally retarded? | ||
| What does he call it? | ||
| Globally delayed. | ||
| Delayed, yeah. | ||
| And it's like he has a little bit of downs, a little bit of autism, a little bit of... | ||
| He's got a big stutter. | ||
| Yeah, stuttering. | ||
| But he's funny as fuck. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| Funny as fuck. | ||
| He's very funny. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And he's got good timing. | ||
| He understands comedy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting, man. | ||
| It's like, what you guys have done is really cool. | ||
| Because you really get a chance to see people emerge. | ||
| You know, they emerge out of Kill Tony and they have real careers. | ||
| I think it's the best launching pad for beginning comics that's ever existed. | ||
| I don't think there's anything like it. | ||
| Because, like, The Tonight Show was never for comics that just started out. | ||
| It was for, like, guys that put together, like, a career, and then they're finally gonna get their first Letterman. | ||
| You know, that's what that was. | ||
| It was like, you're doing stand-up seven, eight, nine, ten years by then, right? | ||
| But this is, like, guys that are just starting, and it's such a ballsy move. | ||
| When you got people like Ally Makovsky who go from doing a minute every week when she was, like, how old was she? | ||
| 19 when she first got on the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy! | |
| Crazy! | ||
| To, you know, doing giant fucking places with us. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| And now headlining on the road. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| It's really weird to see. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| You know, it's like, because it's happened before, where people, you've seen them go from open mic-er to being a successful comedian. | ||
| But it seems to happen more regularly, and more, it's like there's a path. | ||
| It seems like there's an actual path now. | ||
| And that's one of the things that I think something like Kill Tony provides. | ||
| It's like now people say, look what everybody's done. | ||
| Look what Hans Kim has done. | ||
| Look what William Montgomery's done. | ||
| Look what David Lucas has done. | ||
| There's a fucking clear path. | ||
| And if you can get on that show and do well and then get on it again and do well again, like, dude! | ||
| And unlike The Tonight Show and America's Got Talent and Last Comic Standing, there's no notes. | ||
| You don't have to be clean. | ||
| It's just about being funny. | ||
| Both Aaron Lyle, Jared Nathan, William, David, Hans, they all push the limits. | ||
| This is like what comedians know is... | ||
| You know, what people want to see. | ||
| They want to go have fun. | ||
| They want to have a naughty night. | ||
| They don't need woke and, you know. | ||
| You can't do woke in a minute. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not going to work. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| Like this whole idea that you're going to project your social values onto the audience and it's going to make them like you more and agree with you more. | ||
| People tried. | ||
| We had a girl that came on yesterday. | ||
| She was like six foot four, purple hair. | ||
| You know, I mean, it just seemed dangerous. | ||
| I'm like, oh boy, here we go. | ||
| And then she's just talking about how she gives the craziest blowjobs and all this. | ||
| I'm like, oh, thank God. | ||
| That was close. | ||
| That's just an odd look. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The social justice comedy, you just can't really do it in a minute. | ||
| You have a minute to just do the thing that you want. | ||
| What you want to do is when you see someone go up there and have a minute that fucking kills. | ||
| And the professional comedians are clapping, and you're clapping, and you're like, that's really good. | ||
| Like, how long have you been doing it? | ||
| Like, that's what everybody wants. | ||
| And if you can get that going, man, like, that's, it's a beautiful cornerstone to comedy, because it's like the perfect, like, the perfect launching pad, but also like the perfect, like, I don't want to say battleground, but it is kind of a battleground for your own ideas. | ||
| You've got to figure out how to really just make it funny. | ||
| When you're putting a set together, maybe try it one time and you realize it's too much words, or you're setting it up, or it's too clunky. | ||
| You'll figure it out. | ||
| But you're duking it out with all these other people that are trying to do it too, so there's a lot of pressure. | ||
| So you're only gonna get one minute and there's a hundred people plus signing up for a few spots and You know it's random like when you decide to reach into that bucket who the fuck knows you're gonna get you just look in there You're not even looking you look at you know just putting your hand in there pulling something out We found every single one of them. | ||
| It's totally random It's totally random and some guys get to go up more than once and some girls get to go up more than once and it's it's It's a building ground, like, that's not like anything else that's ever been around before. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| I mean, just last week we had Roseanne on, and she's telling these people, one after the other, the most perfect advice. | ||
| Just clear-cut, like, It's wisdom that you just cannot make up. | ||
| You can't write it. | ||
| And even the people that were doing good, she's like, yeah, you could do good doing jokes like that, or that tells me that you could do even better by looking within yourself, you know? | ||
| If you're doing that with being that surface level, then what do you really have inside? | ||
| And she was just crushing. | ||
| And who better in the world than Roseanne Barr? | ||
| Someone that literally did that. | ||
| She took her own thing. | ||
| She wasn't like everyone else. | ||
| She still isn't like anyone else. | ||
| And she showed that you could have a crazy career by just being yourself and writing what you know, the story that you can tell. | ||
| Yeah, it's a cool thing to have, man. | ||
| You guys have put together something really cool. | ||
| She offered a full-time mentorship to that Aaron Belisle kid. | ||
| A mentorship? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She goes, you can call me anytime. | ||
| I'm going to give you my number. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And he literally, they literally did. | ||
| He asked me yesterday, he's like, you know, when do you think I should hit up Roseanne? | ||
| Do you like how you use your thumbs? | ||
| Oh yeah, I didn't even realize I did that. | ||
| Jimmy Carter thing. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's been cool having Ron White around too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The godfather. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| He's such an important person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, such an important guy to have around too. | ||
| And he's always working on new stuff. | ||
| Always working on new stuff. | ||
| It's one of the cool things about Ron White. | ||
| Never sleeps. | ||
| Couldn't believe it. | ||
| Last week I saw a new 10 minutes. | ||
| I'm like, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, new notes. | ||
| He's excited. | ||
| He's energized about comedy. | ||
| He's really excited about the club opening, too. | ||
| He's pumped. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Yeah, hanging around there today was eerie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Because it just feels so real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's about to happen. | ||
| We've been talking about this for two years. | ||
| We had a place originally, and that fell apart. | ||
| And then we found this perfect spot. | ||
| And then we realized that we had to... | ||
| Renovate it and do it the right way would get one shot at this Let's not half ass this thing and half open it up all fucked up. | ||
| Let's let's do it the best we could do it It's so you also there's so many little touches that you know like like quotes with Diaz on it and stuff Yeah, there's a quote right when you're leaving the green room. | ||
| It's in neon and it says get it together bitch Joey used to say that every time you gotta go on stage. | ||
| Get it together, bitch. | ||
| And the bar in it is so beautiful. | ||
| Spaceships. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty dope. | ||
| We're excited. | ||
| So that'll be happening soon. | ||
| And we were going over where to do Kill Tony there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were hanging out there today. | ||
| And that's the front. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| They did an amazing job putting this together. | ||
| So, any day now, we go. | ||
| Very exciting, very exciting. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty wild. | ||
| It's been a lot of fun, boys. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| It's been a lot of fun. | ||
| I'm glad we're all out here together. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really are. | ||
| I'm glad we're all out here together and there's so many of us now. | ||
| It's such a good community. | ||
| We're so lucky. | ||
| We're so lucky that we picked the right time and the right place and it all came together like there was a giant magnet drawing us here. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's a blast. | ||
| It's been really fucking fun. | ||
| And what you guys have done with Kill Tony has been amazing. | ||
| Going there on a Monday night and watching that rabid crowd. | ||
| I mean, you guys have some of the most... | ||
| Excited fans. | ||
| They're so pumped for those shows. | ||
| It's like, I mean, when I was there, people had flown in from Berlin. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| You guys flew in from Berlin? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| It's weird when you think about where you guys started. | ||
| Remember those belly room shows? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember doing those back in the day. | ||
| And to go from the belly room to what's happening now. | ||
| The small room at the Ice House, I think, was your first appearance. | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| The little room. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Oh my god, have you seen the Ice House rebuild? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| It just opened back up. | ||
| It looks like a whole different place. | ||
| Where my studio used to be, I think they made that whole waiting room. | ||
| They just did everything. | ||
| They spent millions of dollars. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, the Lakers guy has tons of money. | ||
| Is there a video of what the new Ice House looks like? | ||
| Yeah, I think on their Instagram they had it. | ||
| I was worried that they were going to ruin that room because that room was so good. | ||
| It really was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what they did. | ||
| I hope they didn't glitz it up too much. | ||
| There was something about that room. | ||
| There was the grittiness to that room that was similar to the grittiness from the Comedy Store, just different. | ||
| It was like the suburb version. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there was like a... | ||
| Look how beautiful it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was that Margaret Cho? | ||
| She's so funny. | ||
| I like her. | ||
| And so what does it look like outside of the stage? | ||
| Because the stage, it's hard to see. | ||
| Yeah, they had like a video of them walking around. | ||
| Bill Burr was just there the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Yeah, I think it's before this, if there is. | ||
| I didn't see much up here. | ||
| That's what I was looking down. | ||
| So it's been open for how long now? | ||
| About two weeks, I think. | ||
| Good lineups. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bill Burr, Pete Holmes. | ||
| I was supposed to go out there. | ||
| That's where I used to do the secret show all those years. | ||
| That's where Thunder Pussy started, too. | ||
| Thunder Pussy, which I want to bring back. | ||
| I think about that fucking name, and I'm just like, I'm going to make that something. | ||
| Yeah, that should be something. | ||
| Thunder Pussy was one of the best names ever. | ||
| My favorite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's been a wild ride, boys. | |
| I'm excited. | ||
| Like I said, I'm excited we're all here together. | ||
| I'm excited that we're all here together in this weird, very unusual moment, you know? | ||
| We get to enjoy this. | ||
| It's a lot of fun. | ||
| But I just want to say thanks for coming on. | ||
| It's always great to hang with you guys. | ||
| And genuinely, as a fan of comedy, I think what you guys are doing with Kill Tony is huge. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's like one of the best places ever for a person to start out and do stand-up. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Thanks for making it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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