Feb. 21, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:24:26
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| I hold the record for it. | ||
| What do you hold the record for? | ||
| Longest bottle reused in my podcast. | ||
| Of water? | ||
| Two years I had the same bottle. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, the guy I do the podcast with was like, the amount of carcinogenics must be running through your body. | ||
| So were you just adding water to it all the time? | ||
| Yeah, every day I'd come in. | ||
| I'm the ultimate environmentalist, really. | ||
| I don't know if that's bad for you. | ||
| I think what's bad for you is just drinking on a plastic period. | ||
| Like if your bottle is sitting there filled with water for months and months on a shelf, wouldn't that leach more plastic in it than water that you just pour in there? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Yeah, it would seem to me that like the real fear would be, I think, correct me if I'm wrong because I'm definitely wrong, Propaganda. | ||
| I think the real fear is the heat. | ||
| I think when you have plastic bottles or sitting outside in the sun. | ||
| Yeah, I leave them in the sun. | ||
| That's an issue. | ||
| I like them to marinate. | ||
| That's when you get all the phthalates in your dick shrinks. | ||
| That's what's happening to people, you know. | ||
| Oh yeah, sorry. | ||
| Are you starting? | ||
| Yeah, we're already starting. | ||
| Okay, we're starting. | ||
| Did you see... | ||
| Well, I just read this. | ||
| The dicks have enlarged in the last... | ||
| I know! | ||
| I thought dicks were shrinking. | ||
| I just saw a new study. | ||
| And it's a problem. | ||
| Mine's been shrinking. | ||
| It might be a problem. | ||
| That was what was hilarious. | ||
| Dicks are getting bigger and this could be a real issue. | ||
| Like, how? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| How? | ||
| Rulers got smaller. | ||
| It got smaller. | ||
| People just started lying. | ||
| That is the South Park episode where they go, yeah, we just changed the measurements. | ||
| We went down to... | ||
| We just started measuring... | ||
| How did they get smaller? | ||
| We started measuring in millimeters. | ||
| Bro, when I was a kid, they tried to put us on the metric system, which is a far more efficient system. | ||
|
unidentified
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I agree. | |
| It's a system of tens. | ||
| Stanford scope. | ||
| An increase in penile length cause for concern? | ||
| What fucking... | ||
| What are you concerned about? | ||
| Cause for concern for the ladies, you know? | ||
| Yeah, what are you concerned about? | ||
| Ladies are walking funny to work every day. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| A rec penile length is getting longer from an average of 4.8 inches. | ||
| Go to that. | ||
| What does it say there? | ||
| Oh, that was the best article. | ||
| Here's why it's actually a problem. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a problem! | |
| No, this was, I think this was originally a Vice article. | ||
| This one, this is from a couple years ago, and it was a guy writing how actually small dicks are kind of better, if you think about it. | ||
| Oh, sure, buddy. | ||
| No women are writing that article. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| The penis size is so sad. | ||
| There's not a damn thing they could do about it. | ||
| They can put a man on the moon. | ||
| They can't make your dick bigger. | ||
| They have not. | ||
| They do the enlargement, but it doesn't work all that great. | ||
| There was a guy, I actually used to do a bit about it. | ||
| There was a guy, his name's Ahud Laniandro, and he got the best dick enlargement money he could buy because he's like a billionaire dude, right? | ||
| And then he died during the thing. | ||
| Died during the enlargement. | ||
| Oh, he probably died from the anesthesia, right? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Getting put under is no joke. | ||
| Getting put under, you know, it's... | ||
| They're very, very, very, very good at it now. | ||
| But it still carries some risks. | ||
| Or, yeah, I was... | ||
| In the dick, they made him such a good dick, the doctor was like, I can't let... | ||
| He had to poison him in case his wife saw that dick. | ||
| No one can... | ||
| Yeah, this is... | ||
| I can't let... | ||
| It is my masterpiece. | ||
| I can't allow this. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh. | |
| Walking the earth, just punishing women. | ||
| That would be the number one industry in the country. | ||
| If there was an actual dick enlargement product, like they just nailed it. | ||
| It would be bigger than Apple. | ||
| Yeah, in like a week! | ||
| I mean, Viagra, the amount of people that take that recreationally is very crazy. | ||
| It's probably their most profitable thing other than vaccines, right? | ||
| For Pfizer? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| Well, imagine vaccines would be Viagra if the government was like, you have to take it. | ||
| Also, we're paying for it. | ||
| Imagine if the government just said, listen, more people have to fuck because we need more people. | ||
| We have to compete with China. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so Viagra is mandatory. | ||
| So everyone just has wood. | ||
| Everywhere you go at every bar. | ||
| Everywhere you go, dudes just have raging hard-ons that are mandated by the government. | ||
| Mandated by the government, paid for by the government. | ||
| And your chick's like, why are you always hard? | ||
| And you're like, talk to Biden. | ||
| You think I want this? | ||
| It's Kamala Harris. | ||
| She has an issue. | ||
| She wants us to do this. | ||
| This is her issue she's pushing. | ||
| That's the socialized boners. | ||
| It's not socialized medicine for anything but boners. | ||
| Well, there are people that do believe that more people are supposed to be having children. | ||
| There's people like Elon, who's far smarter than me, who thinks that there's an issue with a possible population collapse. | ||
| Not enough people are having kids. | ||
| And even though there's a lot of people alive right now, the numbers of people having kids are dropping off. | ||
| And that keeps going. | ||
| There's a trend that happens. | ||
| If it doesn't correct itself, it could be a real issue. | ||
| There's a lot of people that kind of take the opinion on that, too, where you go, not only is it a problem, it's already too far to fix. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are like, there's not even really a way out of this. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, Ryan. | ||
| You're scaring the shit out of me. | ||
| Well, I think the way out is probably, you know, technology and stuff like that, right? | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| If you look at the birth rates, I guess, you know, certain countries you can take more immigrants and stuff like that, but yeah, there is not... | ||
| Well, we're taking a lot of immigrants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's really fascinating. | ||
| The immigrant thing is fascinating, because, you know, my grandparents were immigrants. | ||
| So, like, watching immigrants come into this country from south of the border... | ||
| I mean, I am personally an immigrant. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where were you born? | ||
| Toronto, Canada. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That doesn't count. | ||
| You guys are our cousins. | ||
| You're in the family. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| When I tried to move here, I said to that, I would go, come on, really? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| But it is. | ||
| You got to get the green card. | ||
| You got to do the whole thing. | ||
| There's a certain amount a year. | ||
| They have rules about it. | ||
| Yeah, but if you just come in through the border, you're good. | ||
| Just walk in. | ||
| Just fly to Mexico and walk in. | ||
| I just point to my face. | ||
| I go, I'm white. | ||
| Can we? | ||
| They just let you in. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| They don't even care if you're vaccinated. | ||
| I go, cut the shit, bro. | ||
| You can't fly into the United States still unless you're vaccinated. | ||
| From Canada? | ||
| From other countries. | ||
| Oh, from other countries. | ||
| I think. | ||
| Isn't that true? | ||
| I think that's still true. | ||
| But you can just kind of walk in. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people just kind of walking in. | ||
| Like, there's too many people coming across. | ||
| Certain countries you have to get visas for. | ||
| Like, you can't just... | ||
| Because I remember, you know, my friend who lived in Canada, people were going to, you know, Mexico or somewhere, or the U.S., and he was like, yeah, I can't go there. | ||
| And we're like, what? | ||
| We're just going on, like, vacation. | ||
| We're going to go party in, like, you know, Nashville or whatever. | ||
| And he's like, yeah, I can't... | ||
| You can do that. | ||
| Like, I can't do that. | ||
| He's from India. | ||
| He can't just go to America. | ||
| Yeah, you have to be vaccinated and you have to have some sort of paperwork, right? | ||
| Yeah, you got to get a visa. | ||
| You have to get a visa to visit? | ||
| A visiting visa, essentially, yeah. | ||
| Wow, isn't that wild? | ||
| No, it's, yeah, it is kind of wild. | ||
|
unidentified
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We don't even think about that. | |
| We don't, you know, we have it so goddamn good here. | ||
| We really do. | ||
| As nutty as people are, and the crazy gender war talk that's going on right now, it seems like there's such a fascination with gender now. | ||
| To the point where it's like, what is... | ||
| Douglas Murray talked about this on the podcast. | ||
| He was saying that this happens in every civilization before it collapses. | ||
| People become obsessed with gender for some reason. | ||
| And then it's also as a comedian, you know, especially like the trans issue or whatever, right? | ||
| You know, it's like, how do you not address that when it becomes the number one? | ||
| This is the number one. | ||
| Everyone's talking about it nonstop. | ||
| And then they're kind of like, oh, look at all these guys talking about this. | ||
| And you're like, how do you not? | ||
| It's like an elephant in the room at that point. | ||
| Yeah, it's an ideology that's being enforced, that you're not allowed to talk about something that may or may not be crazy. | ||
| And I'm not talking about all trans people. | ||
| I'm just talking about the possibility of crazy people being in any group is 100%. | ||
| The possibility of crazy people that are captains of yachts, crazy dentists, crazy everything. | ||
| So you have to leave room for crazy when it comes to trans people too. | ||
| And right now they don't. | ||
| They're not leaving room for crazy. | ||
| This is why you have this guy up in Canada with the giant rubber tits. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| With the shoulder straps. | ||
| The goat. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I don't know if you saw the picture. | ||
| He looks like Tim Dillon when he has the tits up. | ||
| I think he's running a con. | ||
| He may be running a con. | ||
| I mean, this is just my opinion. | ||
| But it seems like he dresses up like a man during the day. | ||
| Which, of course, it's a con. | ||
| I mean, the whole thing is so funny. | ||
| Wearing those titties all day long would be nuts. | ||
| Bro, it's nuts that you can do that. | ||
| It's nuts that you could do that. | ||
| He's a shop teacher as well. | ||
| This is where I'm saying, like, you have to leave room for crazy in everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta leave room for crazy. | ||
| And if you don't leave room for crazy, then we're in a cult. | ||
| Okay, now we're in a cult. | ||
| Do you know how, like, in Russia, they'll have, you know, Putin will play, like, hockey games, and everyone lets him win? | ||
| They let him do judo, too. | ||
| Yeah, they let him do it. | ||
| It's kind of Steven Seagal style. | ||
| Well, you know, he's 900 pounds. | ||
| He's just these demonstrations. | ||
| No, he's actually legit with judo. | ||
| I know he's really legit. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Judo. | ||
| Is he judo? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, he's a black belt. | ||
| He's an actual black belt. | ||
| Putin is a legitimate black belt. | ||
| Like when you watch him throw people around, watch video of it. | ||
| Pull up Putin does judo. | ||
| 100% he's legit. | ||
| Okay, so he's legit that? | ||
| I actually didn't know that part. | ||
| He used to be a KGB guy. | ||
| But the hockey, he plays against high-level professional hockey players. | ||
| They let him do hockey? | ||
| Let him win. | ||
| He gets 11 points against... | ||
| But I feel like sometimes the trans stuff's that, where everyone just kind of... | ||
| Right. | ||
| It is! | ||
| It is the same thing, because everyone's scared. | ||
| But when you watch him do judo, like, 100%, that's real skill. | ||
| Like, 100%. | ||
| Like, he definitely knows his shit. | ||
| Like, if I saw that guy teaching at a judo academy somewhere, he's a black belt, and he was an instructor, I would say yes. | ||
| Legitimate. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, Putin really knows judo. | ||
| What about Seagal? | ||
| What do you think of Seagal? | ||
| He's really good at Aikido. | ||
| He was the GOAT, right? | ||
| No, but he was very talented. | ||
| If you just watch his fluidity and his technique in Aikido, if you go back to the early days when he was running a dojo in Japan, and I think he was legitimately the first American To run an Aikido dojo in Japan. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I think he was married to the daughter of one of the main senseis or somebody. | ||
| So he was like deep in the culture. | ||
| And he was really good at Aikido. | ||
| But Aikido is a martial art that was developed to disarm people with swords. | ||
| So when someone's coming at you with a sword and you don't have a sword, you're disarming them. | ||
| The idea is to try to use their momentum against them. | ||
| So it's kind of a reactive martial art and it's like it's using your momentum and then using leverage and using technique. | ||
| But it's not offensive. | ||
| And what he did in the movies is he made it offensive. | ||
| If you go to Above the Law... | ||
| Above the Law is a fucking great movie. | ||
| He turned it into a tool to get tons of pussy. | ||
| This is him when he's older. | ||
| This is Durag Seagal. | ||
| Durag Seagal is the best Seagal. | ||
| Durag Seagal is not the best Seagal. | ||
| You want to go to black and white film Seagal. | ||
| Because you've got to realize, Above the Law... | ||
| Go to old Steven Seagal footage. | ||
| Above the law was in... | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Bro, I'm telling you. | ||
| Listen, the guy... | ||
| You can say whatever you want about the guy now. | ||
| But I am just telling you. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Yeah, this is... | ||
| Listen, fuck all this. | ||
| Go to old Steven Seagal footage. | ||
| Because this is a lot of, like... | ||
| He's, you know, he's basically in a movie now, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like, he's in a movie. | ||
| Those guys aren't really resisting. | ||
| that he's written as well. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Old Steven, I'm sorry, Old Steven Seagal Aikido footage. | ||
| There's like legitimate footage of him in the dojo. | ||
| Just doing work. | ||
| Yeah, like when you see like his ability to throw people, there you go. | ||
| He had a big feud with Jean-Claude Van Damme. | ||
| The top one's legit. | ||
| I've seen this top one. | ||
| So, it's a lot of the movements and stuff, like, very fluid. | ||
| Very fluid. | ||
| It's just not that effective a martial art in real practice. | ||
| Like, in real practice, a wrestler is gonna take a Aikido guy down, like, 100% of the time. | ||
| Yeah, no Aikido guy's ever won one of the big competitions, really. | ||
| I mean, you could have a guy who starts out in Aikido for some strange reason and is just extraordinarily physically talented. | ||
| Like if Jon Jones got into Aikido. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He still would fuck people up in the UFC. There's certain people that are extraordinarily talented. | ||
| They're training at the wrong place. | ||
| That does happen. | ||
| Perhaps a trans Aikido fighter would do it. | ||
| But Aikido is just not the way to go. | ||
| It's a beautiful martial art. | ||
| It's a beautiful thing to learn. | ||
| It is a really effective tool. | ||
| If you know Aikido and a guy has a bat and he's coming at you, it's actually a very important thing to know. | ||
| Some of the principles involved in avoiding these strikes, you can apply those in a real situation. | ||
| But it's just not the... | ||
| It's just not the martial art that you would say is on its own what's really good for fighting. | ||
| You wouldn't say Aikido. | ||
| I feel like the reason why even guys like him aside from that were so great was that they believed it a little. | ||
| You know when you see Jason Momoa right now as an action star? | ||
| He doesn't think he's that guy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Whereas, like, you know, kind of even Jean-Claude Van Damme, like, it was getting a little wishy-washy, what was the movie, what was them, you know? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Well, I think the audience capture, like, that, and especially then, you're talking about, like, the 80s and the 90s? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Your connection to the audience is so ethereal. | ||
| It's mystical. | ||
| Why do they like me? | ||
| Where are these people? | ||
| You're not seeing this guy every day. | ||
| You don't have any tweets about you. | ||
| You're not getting any comments on YouTube. | ||
| You're just trying to figure out if people like you. | ||
| And you're just doing karate movies. | ||
| It is very easy to be like a god back in those days. | ||
| It's kind of like more how music is where it's... | ||
| I always say that even if you look at, you know, kind of activist stuff. | ||
| He's doing splits on the top of a building. | ||
| Oh, that's Jean-Claude. | ||
| His split move is the move. | ||
| Bro, he's doing splits on the top of a fucking giant pillar overlooking the city. | ||
| I'd be scared to sit there. | ||
| 90% of Jean-Clan Van Damme was his splits. | ||
| First of all, he's a beautiful man. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's a beautiful man. | ||
| I mean, his body is flawless. | ||
| So he's over there, flawless body, doing splits. | ||
| More than splits, too. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He can do splits on two chairs, where he puts one heel on each chair and he like suspends his body. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's really hard to do, man. | ||
| Remember the video? | ||
| I think it was CGI. It had to be CGI. Where they did it in between the two trucks? | ||
|
unidentified
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That's CGI. Both. | |
| It has to be CGI. I think he really can do that with his legs still. | ||
| He really can. | ||
| I don't think they were moving though, yeah. | ||
| But they're not going to do that in between trucks and he goes under the truck! | ||
| And to lose Jean-Claude Van Damme in a fucking horrific semi-accident where his body gets turned into meat. | ||
| I think he's doing some wild stuff right now. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Oh, on the internet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he did a web series, and then he had some porn star girlfriend, and he was posting photos of him just in a hot tub, just rocking out. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, it was kind of cool. | ||
| But I was kind of even saying that the same way that it used to be more mystical with the action stars back then, like you were saying, it kind of reminds me of why I feel like activist messages work better with musicians than podcasters or comedians. | ||
| Because it's sort of like, with musicians, You know, save the children, whatever you want to say. | ||
| You know, very like, we gotta feed those kids! | ||
| And then, but you don't have to really answer anything more than that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then it's kind of like, with, with, uh... | ||
| Or you could say something in between songs. | ||
| Yeah, you could get one comment in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then after it becomes like... | ||
| By the way, fuck the Supreme Court. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
|
unidentified
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Woo, woo, woo, woo. | |
| And Biden needs to codify Roe v. | ||
| Wade. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And if you think women should be in the kitchen, you can leave this concert right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you said that here, you'd be like, well, what do you mean by that? | ||
| Lecturing dudes are sus. | ||
| They're super sus. | ||
| When dudes lecture other dudes, I'm like, damn, you're sus. | ||
| Those are closet creeps a lot of the time. | ||
| That area where, when things got real wild in 2016, the dudes that became the big lecturers were the... | ||
| Because the girls, you kind of got it a little more. | ||
| There's a few of them that I know that are like, what are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| Imagine it working. | ||
| Imagine you say, you know, respect women, and all of a sudden the guy reads that tweet and is like, oh, yeah, I should respect women. | ||
| I mean, thank God you wrote that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It changed my entire opinion of the way I think of everything at 34. Yeah, I just didn't even think there were people until I saw your tweet. | ||
|
unidentified
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What the fuck are you doing? | |
| Believe all women. | ||
| Believe everyone. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Believe all the people. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Believe everybody. | ||
| No one's lying. | ||
| Do you think that... | ||
| Right now, I think your average dude that was like that has sort of felt a little embarrassed. | ||
| The same way that your average dude that was all in on COVID day after. | ||
| I remember when COVID happened, I was kind of filming stuff and I had a few buddies that messaged me being like, dude, this is kind of irresponsible that you're filming or whatever. | ||
| Guys that are cool and I was kind of like, I think you're going to be embarrassed that you sent me this. | ||
|
unidentified
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And... | |
| Years later, yup. | ||
| Yeah, but I think that, you know, some dudes that were like all in on, you know, yelling at you. | ||
| Some people have a heightened level of anxiety, and it's not even their fault. | ||
| It's like where you are, maybe you're at a one or two, some people are at a fucking six all the time. | ||
| So something like COVID comes along, and it just rattles them to like a nine, whereas you stay at a six. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, you're like where they would be normally. | ||
| Like, wow, fucking world's fucked now. | ||
| That would be them normally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then COVID comes along and they go, wow! | ||
| Some people just thought the way we all felt about it in the beginning. | ||
| Everybody in the beginning was scared. | ||
| I remember those days. | ||
| Everybody in the beginning was like, whoa, this is weird. | ||
| Yeah, no one was... | ||
| At the very least, you're like... | ||
| Everybody was worried because they shut the whole country down. | ||
| Everybody was worried. | ||
| We're hearing the stories about leaving ventilators, running out of ventilators. | ||
| We were all scared. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was robbing people's houses. | ||
| In 2023, I see people driving with masks on. | ||
| I saw a guy driving with a mask on. | ||
| That guy's not coming back. | ||
| Driving? | ||
| Driving with a mask on. | ||
| The plane's full of them and they've got the full, you know, the Bane masks, the whole deal. | ||
| Some people are not coming back. | ||
| They're not coming back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We broke them. | ||
| There's a couple comics. | ||
| Not we, but life. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Society. | ||
| The thing. | ||
| The thing that we just went through broke them. | ||
| Three years is enough to break someone, too. | ||
| Oh, fuck! | ||
| Three years is enough to break a strong person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A strong person. | ||
| Well, don't they... | ||
| Like, imagine you were going to jail and you go solitary confinement and they put you in solitary confinement for three years. | ||
| Like, how many... | ||
| Isn't there a pretty good percentage of people that lose their mind in that scenario? | ||
| How do you do that to a person? | ||
| Isn't that... | ||
| Isn't it wild? | ||
| I mean, I had a bit about this at one point in time. | ||
| Where I was like, this is how much we need each other, that we'll take people that are murderers and rapists and thieves and swindlers, and the worst punishment you can give them is leaving them alone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Like, the worst punishment you can give to someone is just leave them alone. | ||
| You can't talk to anyone. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whew. | |
| Imagine you can't, you leave them alone with no books. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| It's funny because the best reward you can give someone for about three hours is leave them alone. | ||
| And it goes from, you know what I mean? | ||
| For certain people, you go, the best thing, you know, someone that's just got too much going on, you got family, whatever it is, like the best thing you could have is like, you know, no one's bugging me for three hours. | ||
| And that slowly becomes the best thing to the worst nightmare that you can imagine. | ||
| Hell on earth. | ||
| Weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weird. | |
| We're so strange. | ||
| So that's why it didn't break people. | ||
| That's why all that, like, people are like, well, I'm kind of a loner. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| That's a weird one. | ||
| You kind of like being alone sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no one wants to be alone. | ||
| And if you do, be careful, because then you're Ted Kaczynski. | ||
| If you really want to be alone, you probably hate people and you're trying to blow them up. | ||
| And also the people that, like, say that, they want to be alone, you're like, yeah, you want to be alone, but in front of a TV, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Are you alone? | ||
| None of those people are like, yeah, I just go to my basement, shut the lights off, and sit there. | ||
| That's it, in the dark. | ||
| Like a serial killer. | ||
| Contemplate my demise. | ||
| Just think. | ||
| I try to feel my cells reproducing poorly. | ||
| Yeah, like a psycho. | ||
| Which ones are going to fail me first before I perish? | ||
| Yeah, that is kind of what it is, yeah. | ||
| Just sitting there thinking of you having sex, lighting matches, burning them down to your fingertips, alone in the dark. | ||
| Blisters on your fingers from holding... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Okay, if you say that, you go, okay, you're kind of a loner. | ||
| Yeah, that's correct. | ||
| That's a real loner. | ||
| We need to keep a fucking eye on you. | ||
| Yeah, that is correct. | ||
| You are... | ||
| It is fucking weird how much we need each other. | ||
| We need each other so bad. | ||
| Yeah, so I watched that. | ||
| I watched a lot of people get broken because of that stuff, especially in Canada where it was like, Way crazier, you know what I mean? | ||
| I always say my mom was a good pulse of what a normal person is. | ||
| I always say she watches Fox and CNN but just thinks they're both just news. | ||
| So she'll literally watch the news and be like, the news can't make up their mind. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Do you talk about this in your ass? | ||
| I've never said that on stage, no. | ||
| It makes me laugh because she'll think, she'll be like, they can't decide whether they like the president, whether they hate, it's all, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| You should write that down. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Okay, so... | ||
| That's, like, fertile territory. | ||
| You know, someone starts talking about something, you, like, see a whole fertile field in front of them, like, oh, you can do something like this. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, thank you. | ||
| I've tried... | ||
| Well, so... | ||
| So she would kind of, like, at first be like, you know, they need to lock it all down, and then there was a bit where she was, like, getting mad, been like, it's been six months, I can't see my friends, this doesn't even make sense, you know? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| And I was kind of like, just go see your friends, who cares? | ||
| There was a point where they're, you know, when they're saying, like... | ||
| You know, you can only have two people, and then they're like, we upped it to three, and I'm like, I mean, I don't know, make it zero. | ||
| I'm not really paying attention to what the rules are. | ||
| It's easy to have hindsight and look back and think you would have done it differently. | ||
| That's part of the problem, too. | ||
| If you're the government and you tell someone something, changing course is so hard. | ||
| It's a big-ass boat to steer. | ||
| You tell him everyone's going to die, and then you go, actually, very few people that are unhealthy are going to die, and the rest of them are going to be fine. | ||
| You'd be like, what? | ||
| Like, out of all the people I know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if you're the government, and you start, like, taking in information as time goes on, you realize, oh, we're way off on this. | ||
| Like, this really just affects old people and overweight people. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| But we don't want to fucking keep this party going. | ||
| How do I... Yeah, and also if I don't keep the party going, I'm like the wrong... | ||
| I'm a bad person. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a bad guy now. | ||
| Now you're encouraging people to get sick. | ||
| If you've played to the people with the highest levels of anxiety, if you all of a sudden shift course and ask for courage, they'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, what are you up to here? | ||
| Why'd you change your idea? | ||
| You were with us. | ||
| We were like, lock it all down. | ||
| There's a lot of lock it all down, people. | ||
| Lock it all down and triple mask up and no one moves. | ||
| No more working. | ||
| We need a redistribution of wealth. | ||
| Get in your closet. | ||
| Yeah, you go, what was that? | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| You go, all right, we need to lock it down and we need to take all your money. | ||
| You go, what was that last part? | ||
| You go, and also less men in tech. | ||
| And you're like, how does this one relate again? | ||
| You go, just shut up together. | ||
| Redistribute wealth through the vaccine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A medical intervention became a sign of being a leftist. | ||
| It did. | ||
| And avoiding a medical intervention became a sign of being a right-winger. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| That was the wildest. | ||
| Really wild. | ||
| Really wild. | ||
| Like, if you just said, like, I don't think I want to take that, after what I've heard from people that took it, and people go, what are you, a Trump supporter? | ||
| Like instantly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that wasn't really the breakdown either. | ||
| It was like, you know, kind of like a lot of old hippie types, like a lot of my like urban friends in Toronto, like the most people that I know that wouldn't take it was like rapper dudes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Ice Cube famously turned down a movie. | ||
| I think it was worth like nine million dollars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure he didn't like Trump. | ||
| I would imagine that... | ||
| I would imagine that Cube wasn't loving Trump. | ||
| People were fucking suspicious. | ||
| People were suspicious. | ||
| Because it takes a long time to figure out what the overall long-term negative effects are of drugs. | ||
| That's why it takes a long time for them to license them. | ||
| I mean, it takes... | ||
| Like, for a drug to be approved? | ||
| Like, generally? | ||
| I mean, how many years does it take for a vaccine to normally be approved? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And something that's like very novel, a novel type of vaccine, it's so unusual that it got approved so quick. | ||
| And if it wasn't for COVID, it most likely wouldn't have, right? | ||
| I mean, it was an emergency use authorization thing. | ||
| For people to be nervous about something like that seems rational. | ||
| It seems rational. | ||
| Well, I know the other side of it, where I know a lot of, you know, kind of maybe more right-leaning dudes that were like super into the vaccine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And they were like, if you're a Republican, you don't like the vaccine. | ||
| And they were like, well, I'm a Republican. | ||
| I like the vaccine because they're just older or whatever, more safe or have a different view on life. | ||
| There's this narrative that you were an idiot if you didn't want to take it. | ||
| How do you guys know for sure what's happening here? | ||
| How do you know for sure? | ||
| How much research are you doing? | ||
| Have you looked at the studies? | ||
| Are you looking at who it's affecting? | ||
| There's actually things you can do to kind of mitigate that. | ||
| You can take vitamins and supplements and they boost your immune system and you probably should be exercising. | ||
| Quit vaping might help. | ||
| I didn't look at any of the studies and talked about it a lot. | ||
| In the beginning, I think they were saying, for some weird reason, that people who smoked cigarettes had a lower level of infection. | ||
| I was like, yeah, they're probably cooking the COVID out of their system. | ||
| Their body's like, hey, we got enough gunk in here. | ||
| We don't have any room for any of this COVID stuff, Mr. Burns style. | ||
| I wonder if you're a chain smoker. | ||
| You're filtering all that COVID through cigarette smoke. | ||
| Like, I wonder if it actually kills the COVID that's in your lungs. | ||
| We all know someone that, you know, is like in the worst shape, drinks, smokes, nonstop, and they're the first guy up being like, let's go! | ||
| And you're like, how are you not dead? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Some bodies just know how to deal with, like, yeah, I think that is it. | ||
| They just, you just gotta like, well, first of all, you have tar, you have like a legit, just like a tarf, Like, filter, covering your whole body. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The pores are all clogged. | ||
| Yeah, they're calluses. | ||
| It's like, you know, construction workers with the calluses. | ||
| They have that. | ||
| And then the alcohol, your liver is just, like, covered in a filter of, you know, alcohol. | ||
| Your liver's just super powered. | ||
| I know people like that. | ||
| Your liver's like a power lifter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Every day it's, like, pumping out, like, serious, serious alcohol. | ||
| And that's your natural state. | ||
| So I think your body, too, and this is the total speculation, but... | ||
| There's a point where your body essentially... | ||
| The reason for pain is to be like, hey, don't do that. | ||
| I think your body probably gives so much like, your lungs hurt, your body hurts, but they don't listen, so the body just goes, do what you want then. | ||
| I'll stop sending the sensors up to your body that this is bad. | ||
| Yeah, your body just gives up. | ||
| Yeah, they go, sure. | ||
| A constant state of inflammation everywhere, so you just go numb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it is. | |
| Some people that live like that for a long-ass time Crazy, right? | ||
| When those guys live? | ||
| Heavy duty substance abusers that lived for... | ||
| How old is Keith Richards? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, he wasn't a boozer, though. | ||
| Killing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, he wasn't? | ||
| Not hardcore. | ||
| I mean, he never got fat. | ||
| It's the boozers that get fat that seems like that's not good. | ||
| You know, like, because there's people that are overweight just because they drink too much beer. | ||
| So the calories they're consuming in beer is insane. | ||
| Nine baguettes a night. | ||
| What is a Bud Tallboy? | ||
| What's the calories in a Bud Tallboy? | ||
| I would guess a Tallboy, my guess would be 480. 480. Jamie, what do you think it is? | ||
| Four low-end, five high-end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I might have pulled it up, I guess, like 300. I thought 300 was a normal. | |
| I was thinking like 350. So you'll go 300, I'll go 350. And would you say four what? | ||
| I said 450, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
450. For a tall can, though. | |
| Did you say Bud Light or Bud? | ||
| Yeah, Bud. | ||
| Tall boy. | ||
| 195. That's it? | ||
| That's propaganda. | ||
| That's a lie! | ||
| They're working with the government. | ||
| It seems like it should be way more than that. | ||
| It's only 190 calories for a butt tall boy? | ||
| So a normal one's what? | ||
| 100? | ||
| That seems ridiculous. | ||
| 120? | ||
| I don't buy it. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen there's like a commercial for Miller Lite or something. | ||
| They're like, we're only one more calorie than McUltra. | ||
| It's like, oh, really? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Yeah, I'm having trouble buying it. | ||
| Well, whatever. | ||
| Either way, if you drink 12 of them, it's like, you know, after the end of the night, you're just like, yeah, let me just have three. | ||
| It's another thousand calories. | ||
| Let me have two Subway buns. | ||
| So if you just drink five Bud Tallboys, which many gentlemen do on a fine Saturday evening, that's a thousand extra calories. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every night. | |
| And if you hate your job, why not keep drinking? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Don't quit drinking if you hate your job. | ||
| That being said, I think the original hypothesis that, you know, it's better to just be on heroin probably isn't right either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think heroin is probably better for you if you get the stuff that Keith Richards is getting. | |
| If you're doing it completely right, sure. | ||
| Yeah, he's getting heroin like straight out of Afghanistan. | ||
| They probably fly it in on a drone. | ||
| He probably lands in his mansion in Connecticut on a drone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He definitely has got the guy. | ||
| A brick. | ||
| You know, it's probably got like the brown paper over it and twine roping it together. | ||
| In 2018, he said he wasn't off for a year. | ||
| He got fed up with it. | ||
| Oh, he said he hasn't been on the hard booze for about a year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So he drank up until he was like 75. That's going to be that? | |
| Yeah, but I guarantee he's still drinking. | ||
| He just gave up on moonshine. | ||
| He's probably just drinking wine or something. | ||
| You said he gave up on the hard. | ||
| It says the hard drinks. | ||
| My favorite drink was Jack Daniels or vodka. | ||
| Occasional glass of wine still or beer. | ||
| Yeah, so we'll have beers and wine. | ||
| He just gave up on drinking Jack Daniels straight out of the bottle right there. | ||
| Taking it easy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so old! | |
| I'm just gonna take it easy tonight too. | ||
| I saw them and it was almost like a psychedelic experience. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was like mesmerized when I saw... | ||
| I couldn't believe they were really there. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| Holy shit, that really is Mick Jagger. | ||
| That really is Keith Richards. | ||
| Like, wow! | ||
| Yeah, it is cool. | ||
| Where'd you see them? | ||
| They were here. | ||
| They were in Austin. | ||
| Recently? | ||
| Yeah, at the racetrack. | ||
| Yeah, the Coda. | ||
| The Circuit of Americas. | ||
| It's fucking crazy to watch them. | ||
| That old. | ||
| Still jamming out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Still doing it. | ||
| Mick Jagger's still dancing around. | ||
| Doing like the dancing like a girl at like 85 is strange, right? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| But it's Mick Jagger. | ||
| You let it go. | ||
| Of course! | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| You know, whatever it is. | ||
| But that's him, dude. | ||
| I actually saw them in Toronto. | ||
| There's this thing called Sars Stock. | ||
| Do you remember when Sars was coming around? | ||
| The original COVID? Yes, I do. | ||
| So they did a big festival. | ||
| I think there was like a problem where the stage broke and some people died or something. | ||
| I think it was... | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm... | |
| I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there was some big debacle there, but I saw them there. | ||
| Wasn't there a time like back in the day where the Hells Angels killed the guy at one of their concerts? | ||
| That used to be the deal is like you hire Hells Angels to be your bouncers. | ||
| Was that what they did? | ||
| I thought it was like just audience members. | ||
| I thought like the Hells Angels were in the audience. | ||
| What happened with that? | ||
| Well, I don't know if this specific one, but that used to be like a big thing in music is let's hire, you know, Hell's Angels guys. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| I think it's a great idea until you realize they've got like a... | ||
| Also, they have a drug ring that they're running at your festival. | ||
| American man who was killed in 1969 Altamont free concert during the performance by the Rolling Stones, Hunter approached the stage and he was violently driven off by members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club who agreed to serve as security guards. | ||
| Oh, so you're right. | ||
| Security guards. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| That is it. | ||
| Can I tell you some- Wow, so the guy was rushing the stage and they beat him to death? | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| I thought it got stabbed. | ||
| It was like the Chappelle thing, but they took it a little further. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I think... | |
| I feel like someone got stabbed. | ||
| Oh, it's on film. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Me and Jamie were talking about all the Twitter fight clubs. | ||
| It's on film. | ||
| I guess it would be, yeah. | ||
| Um, I mean, that's most of Twitter right now is watching fight videos that I don't want to see. | ||
| Dude, there's so much on Instagram that they let through. | ||
| So much, like, finds their way into your feed. | ||
| You're like, how am I watching this? | ||
| How is this okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um, I can't tell what's happening. | |
| Yeah, that is wild. | ||
| And this is 1969, man. | ||
| I don't think you or I is really... | ||
| I don't think we're ever going to really understand how crazy 1969 was. | ||
| I think we missed it. | ||
| Whatever the fuck... | ||
| People aren't big that... | ||
| There's no people that are that big anymore, really. | ||
| Well, there are, but it's a different thing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's a different thing with the internet. | ||
| The whole thing is different. | ||
| Decentralized? | ||
| What I'm saying is like the change between the 1950s and 1969. In which way? | ||
| Only 19 years. | ||
| In the way the culture was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, think of just music. | ||
| Think about Buddy Holly. | ||
| Like, fucking, you know, all that kind of... | ||
| Big Sue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's great music, but you go from that to Hendrix. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what happened? | ||
| What the fuck happened? | ||
| I always think that there's... | ||
| Like, the world changed. | ||
| Yeah, and I always look at culture through music a little bit, but it's always that things go so far one way and people get sick of it. | ||
| Even punk and stuff, it always goes very soft, and then there's some guy singing about his girlfriend and stuff like that, and then people get so sick of that shit that the next guy's like, I hate women! | ||
| Yeah, well, it's like every now and then the culture needs like a jolt of something different. | ||
| You get sick of it. | ||
| That's what Nirvana was. | ||
| There was all hair bands and then Nirvana came along. | ||
| And Nirvana essentially killed the hair band. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody wanted to be moody. | ||
| I'm tired of partying, man. | ||
| I just want to be moody. | ||
| I want to be like deep. | ||
| Yeah, and also the next generation's like, it also gets corporate too, right? | ||
| So, you know, the thing becomes, it's so hip and it's so cool. | ||
| The genre. | ||
| The genre becomes corporate, right? | ||
| And then there's some new scene that isn't, like, that's why, I always, like, all art, it's so cool to me that, that's why Austin, to me, is this, because all art always happens in these little pockets, right? | ||
| Like, the grunge was at Seattle, you know, the You guys have your Austin thing where it's like I'm even just like kind of hanging with you guys at the Vulcan it was like you know there's five or six of you and you're not there's no one telling you what to do and it's like really just this like movement I remember like Toronto I felt like I had that where it was just there's no one telling you what to do it's eight people that are all kind of inventing a new little style and pushing each other and that's how culture always kind of Forms the best and then that becomes someone from that culture gets so popular then after eight years Everyone gets a little sick | ||
| of that. | ||
| Yeah, they'll get sick of everything no matter what but this this idea that That shouldn't be the case you shouldn't cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's good good that things shift around that's cool When something is like as good as nirvana like you know all that hairband stuff There was like a weird moment where I think people lost their fucking minds Where it was all, like, guys had just giant big hair and wearing makeup. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was real glammy. | ||
| Very strange. | ||
| Very strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Nirvana came along and just fucking tanked it. | ||
| He tanked the whole thing. | ||
| Enough of this whole thing, yeah. | ||
| He literally really did. | ||
| I'm going to be wearing, like, a crappy sweater and, you know, crappy jeans, yeah. | ||
| Screaming, rape me. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You're not the only one. | ||
| They were so good. | ||
| They were so good that they tanked an opposing industry. | ||
| Honestly, yeah. | ||
| Just with their talent. | ||
| All that stuff just went away. | ||
| All that stuff went away. | ||
| All that crazy hair. | ||
| There was like a hundred of those bands. | ||
| And they all look exactly the same, too, by the way. | ||
| They all had crazy big hair. | ||
| And they were all wearing leopard skin jackets and shit. | ||
| They had lipstick on. | ||
| It was so weird. | ||
| It was such a weird thing. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It was such a weird thing that a very feminized male was super attractive in the music business only. | ||
| It was not like one of those guys was an action star and was kicking ass with makeup on and fucking kiss heels. | ||
| There wasn't that, but there was something about those guys singing that you accepted a certain amount of gender bending. | ||
| Yeah, and you also, those guys, there is a big difference that I think people always miss when they're talking about, like, the guys used to dress like that, but those guys were dressing like that, but they were, like, very masculine dudes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Paul Stanley. | ||
| Yeah, just, like, a band van is very similar to, like, a sports dressing room. | ||
| It's a bunch of guys. | ||
| Anytime you put, like, a bunch of guys together for a long time, like, there's a dynamic there, right? | ||
| So, yeah, they're a bunch of dudes acting like dudes, but then they, you know, make a pun. | ||
| Yeah, and then they have giant heels. | ||
| But they're not saying it. | ||
| And they get their hair teased up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And they fucking get out there and shake their hips. | ||
| You know what the craziest thing to me is? | ||
| And they sing about getting girls, too, which is funny. | ||
| Look at what Rob Halford did. | ||
| It was Rob Halford from Judas Priest was so fucking good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Judas Priest was so good that they got people to dress up like... | ||
| Like a biker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody decided to dress up like a biker. | ||
| They got everyone on board with that. | ||
| That was like the thing. | ||
| They kind of got... | ||
| Like a gay biker. | ||
| How many people... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you find out that Rob was gay... | ||
| They tricked everyone. | ||
| You're like, do you know how amazing that is? | ||
| Do you think that there was any guy at the club when they found out he was gay? | ||
| There was like, what the... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Ripping off his leather. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you know how many guys must have tweaked out when they found out he was gay? | |
| He's got the gimp mask on with the zip. | ||
| You got another thing coming... | ||
| You're telling me this guy's gay? | ||
| Ripping off his bondage outfit. | ||
| Dude, I had a friend of mine in high school. | ||
| He used to listen to Rob Halford. | ||
| Like, you got another thing coming. | ||
| That was like his mantra. | ||
| Like for him. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| Getting out of the town. | ||
| He was that dude that was like kind of like socially troubled and he had to get out of the town. | ||
| He was going to make his way. | ||
| You got another thing. | ||
| That was his song. | ||
| I remember going, damn, that is a fresh song. | ||
| That song was amazing. | ||
| So he would listen to that song to get hyped up about leaving town? | ||
| Did he ever get out? | ||
| If you ever go back and he's like working at the tackle shop. | ||
| I'm only in touch with a couple of my friends from the high school. | ||
| Two of my best friends that I'm still friends with back then, my two friend Jimmy's, those were guys I went to high school with the Jimmy's, yeah. | ||
| But they went to North. | ||
| I went to high school in Newton South, so we were like in the same town, but we didn't go to the same school. | ||
| So I'm only friends with one dude who was from my art class, who was like the best Artists in the art class, this guy John DeVore. | ||
| He and I, we communicate on email sometimes, but he was like the guy when we were kids that was like this amazing comic book illustrator. | ||
| How's he doing now? | ||
| Is he a comic book illustrator? | ||
| No, he runs a speaker company. | ||
| Interesting world. | ||
| He actually stopped doing art for the same reason that I did. | ||
| Because the teacher that we had in high school was such a douchebag, he made you not want to do art. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| He was just miserable. | ||
| He was like, you can try this, but it's a waste of time. | ||
| So this guy, John, my friend from high school, told me that teacher gave him an F. And I just told you he was the most talented guy in the class, by far. | ||
| I was number three. | ||
| There was this dude named Kevin, he was number two, and I was number three. | ||
| But all three of us did a comic book together. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Yeah, like some martial arts dragon thing. | ||
| I forget what it's called. | ||
| When you're young, it's so funny because you're like, we're going to take over the world with this comic book stuff. | ||
| We would hang out and do art together, but the teacher was such a twat. | ||
| He was such a twat. | ||
| He was like this miserable older guy with a pot... | ||
| I remember his pot belly, like he was pregnant. | ||
| But he was a tiny man. | ||
| He was very thin, but with a pot belly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was just saying, you're not going to be able to do what you want to do with your life. | ||
| If you're going to be an artist, you're going to have to draw things you don't want to draw. | ||
| There's no way... | ||
| Like me, nude, after class, if you want an A. Not everyone gets what they want. | ||
| Bro, he doesn't want to fuck anybody. | ||
| He didn't want to fuck anybody. | ||
| He just wanted to go to sleep. | ||
| That guy was just- Just hated his life. | ||
| He was miserable, and he was just really bad to be around. | ||
| Because you were young and full of energy, and you just wanted to do something with your life, and this is a thing that you were doing that you were kind of getting good at. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And you're like, maybe I could be an artist. | ||
| I love comic books. | ||
| Maybe I could draw comic books. | ||
| The art teacher says no. | ||
| This guy was such a cunt. | ||
| He was such a cunt. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, I gotta get away from you. | ||
| So negative. | ||
| It's kind of a weird thing with art because, you know, it is true when someone says, hey, you know, this isn't a good idea. | ||
| Like, they're right, statistically. | ||
| So there is something to be said about, like, I always, I feel like you actually need most people being like, listen, this is probably a bad idea to try to be a comedian. | ||
| Like, that is the actual responsibility. | ||
| So when parents, they're like, that's, okay, that's not a good idea. | ||
| They're right. | ||
| But you only need one person that's like, you can, though. | ||
| Like, you need one guy in your corner. | ||
| You can't have every person says no, because then it's too, you know, you're too afraid. | ||
| But I think that a lot of times... | ||
| There's this weird, like, sometimes people say you need too much support. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if everyone's like, you could do this, like, because the people that are going to make it, you are going to break through a level of adversity, usually, you know, the people are going to make it work. | ||
| They don't care that people are saying no. | ||
| But if everyone's saying no, I feel like that's what, like, ruins some people that could have been great. | ||
| Everyone's saying no? | ||
| So like their family's saying no? | ||
| Yeah, like imagine your dad's like, listen, go to school. | ||
| This probably isn't a good idea. | ||
| Your mom's saying that. | ||
| Maybe your teacher's saying that. | ||
| But then you had one teacher that's like, no, you got something here. | ||
| Like give one encouraging person for a guy. | ||
| Like I think a lot of young dudes don't have like one encouraging person. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think also... | ||
| Whatever the fuck you're trying to do, whether you're trying to do stand-up comedy or anything else, it's gonna be a long-ass road. | ||
| And you can't hope you get successful really quickly. | ||
| And the problem with comedy, as opposed to everything else, is that people think they have, like, a giant head start. | ||
| Like, people who... | ||
| A lot of people who have the courage to do it are a little delusional about, like... | ||
| And you need a little bit of that. | ||
| Yeah, you need a little bit of that. | ||
| But those people, like, when you... | ||
| It's a fine line. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| We really don't know until it works like so many different people succeed in stand-up comedy that you wouldn't have thought would have if you didn't know any better or if you didn't if you didn't see them in Like the first year of their career when they sucked. | ||
| Yeah, if you only saw them like seven eight years later You would probably never imagine how bad they sucked years ago There's certain guys like that. | ||
| Or how much of a dick they were or something, you know? | ||
| But it's all about constant improvement and constantly working at it. | ||
| And some people just don't do that, man. | ||
| The thing about comedy is nobody tells you to do it. | ||
| If you're a comic, you can kind of fuck off. | ||
| Especially if you're in New York and you kind of are making a living, maybe you have a podcast, you can really just do the bare minimum. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| You just do a few sets here and there and do the same 15 minutes. | ||
| But whenever you see those people, like I always kind of, you know, like a little bit binary with people. | ||
| I'm always like, would you bet on that guy? | ||
| Like when you see someone two, three years in, I don't say, I never, that's what I say. | ||
| I go, I don't say like, are they, how, what, what should they do better? | ||
| What should they do worse? | ||
| Like, you know, what, what moves should they make? | ||
| Should this guy be this? | ||
| Should he be that? | ||
| I just go, would you bet on that guy? | ||
| And if yes, he'll figure the rest out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I usually think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And there's a few people I can think like that where I'm like, I bet. | ||
| And then there's public people you'll see. | ||
| Like, you'll see someone come on the scene and you go, that guy's gonna be huge. | ||
| Like, you can just tell. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's certain guys that just, there's certain people that just have a thing. | ||
| And you're like, wow, you got a thing. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| When you see a new guy, you go, who's this guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's other people that just keep getting a little better. | ||
| Just keep getting a little better. | ||
| And then you see him a year later, you're like, nice man. | ||
| I like how you tighten that up. | ||
| Compound. | ||
| Keep getting better. | ||
| Like the first time I saw Tim Dillon, he was very funny. | ||
| He was very funny. | ||
| But the second time I saw him was a long time later. | ||
| Second time I saw him live was a long time later. | ||
| I was like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I go, dude, that was amazing. | ||
| Something clicks, right? | ||
| Yeah, he was just doing the road a lot. | ||
| He said he was just constantly doing the road. | ||
| So he's like doing all these headliner spots. | ||
| He's doing so much time. | ||
| He's like everything just tightened up and you know... | ||
| Especially when you're doing a... | ||
| There's different personalities that are easier to do when you're starting. | ||
| Let's say you're a big, fun, fat guy. | ||
| That personality, six months in, can kind of connect. | ||
| But if you're being an asshole, there's so many people where you're like, yo, that's really funny, but not enough funny for how much of you're being an asshole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're not likable at all. | ||
| I'm that! | ||
| It took me forever to figure out that right balance of telling the audience I'm better than them, but also, I don't know. | ||
| There's also a defensive thing, too, right? | ||
| Because if you think you're going to bomb, a little bit of video is like, fuck these people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't want to admit that you're not doing it right yet. | |
| You want to believe that it's them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The audience has no data whatsoever. | ||
| This is what I was kind of thinking of, what I kind of feel like the audience sometimes. | ||
| Because there is comics that almost treat it like a job, especially in cities. | ||
| I'm sure in LA you saw a lot of this. | ||
| Boston, you probably saw a ton of this. | ||
| The guys that... | ||
| It's a very, like, a job for them where they go, Hey, you know... | ||
| Oh yeah, the 10 o'clock's pretty good, the 11 o'clock, you know, a little bit of a loud table at the back, the sex stuff doesn't go, you probably want to keep it to the relationship material for the table, like, it's very, you know, like, we want the audience to have a good time, that's the job, right? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And I was kind of thinking, like, it's almost, you know the game Keep Up? | ||
| No. | ||
| Where you're playing with, let's say, a soccer ball and you're just trying to keep it in the air with your feet. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, just a simple game like that, or hacky sack, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I feel like sometimes stand-ups keep up, where if you just say the job is to keep the ball in the air, that's the job, but then you go, what's the guy doing when the ball's in the air? | ||
| The other guy's underneath doing a flip, then he puts it up. | ||
| But if you're just watching the ball in the air, that's the audience. | ||
| So there is data. | ||
| If it fell down, you go, that didn't work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the data is like... | ||
| The job is to keep the ball in the air, keep the audience happy, but then what else are you doing while you're even able to do that? | ||
| That's kind of how I think of stand-up a little bit sometimes. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That's an interesting way to think about it. | ||
| Because you're like, yeah, those two people both killed. | ||
| They both did the job. | ||
| You're like, that guy did a backflip and then did the ball. | ||
| That guy just kept it up again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I definitely feel like that if I feel like someone is using tricks. | ||
| Like if someone's killing with tricks. | ||
| All of the tricks. | ||
| You ever seen someone kill and you're just like, oh man, they're like someone that you know and they're like, oh man, that guy's killing. | ||
| And I didn't know they kill like that and you walk and you come, ah, it's crowd work. | ||
| Crowd work. | ||
| The person slaughtering you go, oh, I didn't know that Kevin killed like that or whatever. | ||
| I'm making up a name. | ||
| Yeah, crowd work is an interesting one. | ||
| Because sometimes it's the most fun. | ||
| Sometimes when something goes wrong, it's the most fun. | ||
| Oh, it's so fun! | ||
| Of course! | ||
| Just the live moment of just being around people and doing stand-up. | ||
| It's like they know that you might fuck up at any moment. | ||
| They know that you're killing and everything's going great. | ||
| But we're all locked in in this weird hive mind. | ||
| And when something goes wrong, or something happens, or some crazy person, there's something about it, as long as you can keep it in line, there's something about it that's kind of exciting because it's like, yeah, this is live. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is live. | ||
| This is how it really is. | ||
| I know. | ||
| This isn't just a planned out performance. | ||
| Shit can go sideways. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Like, people like Watching people do a little hide-wired walk, you know, like there's something about love it. | ||
| They enjoy it. | ||
| So when shit goes sideways during a show No, and it's and there's the there's such like the subtle differences that you kind of like hone over the year of like I'm sure you've done a bit that You know, you kind of started saying at the beginning of you know working on it and people in the audience were like Finally someone says that you know and then you find like nine months later You're doing that bit and people in the audience are kind of like yeah You're like, was this a hot take nine months ago and now everyone agrees with that? | ||
| Hot takes are way more transient today, don't you think? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, I don't even mean like a cultural hot take. | ||
| I mean like a, you know, this whole idea is out. | ||
| It could even be like an idea, you know, discussion or whatever. | ||
| But yeah, yeah, of course hot takes. | ||
| You get four months out of them maybe, yeah. | ||
| It used to be a hot take could last a long time. | ||
| Narratives were established and they lasted a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look how quick the pregnant man became an emoji. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| It was really quick. | ||
| And someone does it perfect, right? | ||
| You know what they need is the titties teacher needs to get like a fake pregnant belly and come in and be like, I'm pregnant now? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I need pregnancy time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pregnant man is pregnant. | ||
| And everybody was like, okay, you get it. | ||
| You get your pregnancy time. | ||
| They would want 100% letter. | ||
| Him, it, she, them, they, whatever I'm supposed to say. | ||
| I don't know if he's running a con. | ||
| That's what the claim is. | ||
| But it could also be that's how they want to move around in disguise. | ||
| That's not their true identity. | ||
| Their true identity is her with the capital Z tits. | ||
| When you looked in the mirror without the tits... | ||
| I'm looking at a stranger right now. | ||
| It's just so wild that the school's like, yeah, go ahead. | ||
| I'm living in a stranger's body without big tits. | ||
| Yeah, without big tits, I just don't know who I am. | ||
| How funny is it being a guy that being like, you know, that's how I see my wife. | ||
| That's why she needs to get implants, because I have this thing in my head. | ||
| When I look at her, I just picture... | ||
| God, we're so weird. | ||
| It's such a weird time for everything. | ||
| It's such a weird time for everything. | ||
| People just, like, there's something about this. | ||
| The pandemic accelerated everything. | ||
| Because it accelerated this disconnect that we have with each other. | ||
| It accelerated the division between the right and the left. | ||
| It accelerated everything. | ||
| And it also accelerated this weird culture war. | ||
| It accelerated all this gender pronoun stuff and so much trans stuff. | ||
| And it's like there's a... | ||
| There's like an ideological storm that's going on, it seems like. | ||
| To me, it felt like it was... | ||
| Anxiety, and then Ukraine, like, this idea that we have to support Ukraine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, how much information do you have about this? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| To say that you're like, we should be supporting the potential start of World War III. Like, how much information do you have? | ||
| Well, I know that I'm a good guy if I do it. | ||
| That's all really I need. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Do you know about the potential outcomes if this progresses? | ||
| Jan! | ||
| Boring! | ||
| Not interested. | ||
| I'm just telling you to put a Ukraine flag in my bio. | ||
| You can put a Ukraine flag in your bio with zero understanding of what's going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure! | |
| I did a video about that. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah, I did a I'm a Ukraine guy video. | ||
| Your fucking videos are very funny, dude. | ||
| I really enjoy them. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| I enjoy that you take so many chances and you just fuck around all the time and you're always doing new subjects. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| Yeah, that's all I've been... | ||
| Since I was, like, young, I just, like, wanted to make videos. | ||
| Yeah, your videos are great. | ||
| They're really fun. | ||
| But that's... | ||
| You know how you're saying, like, everything got wild. | ||
| It's kind of crazy, like... | ||
| And just because... | ||
| The industry did change so much, but like the way that things are decentralized and the players, you know, like you, someone like you or, you know, like Louie and Burr retweeting videos, like to me, that's like moving America. | ||
| Like that's way cooler than anything that could be happening at Comedy Central or whatever. | ||
| Like to me, that's so the way that the games like changed and that's so much more important. | ||
| Like I have a manager that legitimately I don't talk to, you know, Every once in a while, he'll call me and be like, hey, you should write a movie about this and try to pitch it. | ||
| And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, get on that. | ||
| And then, you know, sort of like get off the phone. | ||
| And he'll be like, they'll say me things like, do you want to audition for this? | ||
| And I'll be like, no. | ||
| And then I'll be like, tell people I'm offer only. | ||
| And he goes, okay. | ||
| Well, anyways, no offers. | ||
| So that's, I guess, that. | ||
| And you're just like, what is this even? | ||
| Like, this is... | ||
| The podcasting, touring, making videos. | ||
| I'm running a production studio. | ||
| I've got six employees. | ||
| This is so much better than, in my opinion, what it was before. | ||
| So everything has a positive and negative. | ||
| Well, if you wanted to do television shows, though, if that was your thing... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did. | |
| I did. | ||
| That's all I wanted to do. | ||
| You know, you can kind of do the same thing now with video. | ||
| I mean, didn't Ridley Scott just film an entire movie with this new Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These fucking cameras on modern smartphones are so good. | ||
| It's all the People are filming movies. | ||
| They did one on an iPhone as well, right? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You can kind of do it now. | ||
| I mean, you kind of can do that now. | ||
| These things have 8K video. | ||
| No, the whole thing's very... | ||
| It's all, you know, become a great editor. | ||
| It's like the most important thing. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| You can do it yourself. | ||
| What my point is like and you can upload it yourself and it'll get seen instantly and people can share it. | ||
| The craziest thing ever that's happening now is the ability to just share something. | ||
| So if you put up a video and it resonates and people are like Ryan killed it! | ||
| And then I'll send it, I'll send it to this guy, this guy, I'll send it to that guy, and then boom. | ||
| And the videos just go up, man. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| I've had so many of those. | ||
| It's all friends. | ||
| Friends finding it at work. | ||
| And not even publicly. | ||
| Sending it privately, which is... | ||
| A lot of my philosophy with my podcast and everything is kind of like the way that guys talk when girls aren't there. | ||
| And when a girl's there, it's a little different. | ||
| And I kind of think of the videos that way, too. | ||
| And just I'll do it, even though I maybe shouldn't. | ||
| I just do it the way I do it, right? | ||
| And yeah, when you have that many people sharing it all, it just created this whole new ecosystem. | ||
| Do you know how it used to be? | ||
| Yeah, making TV shows was cool, and I still would want to do that. | ||
| Yeah, everybody wanted a Comedy Central show or an HBO show. | ||
| I made a few TV shows when I was in Canada. | ||
| Everybody wanted a sitcom. | ||
| The sitcom days in the 90s, man, that's all anybody wanted. | ||
| It was like the gold rush. | ||
| It was literally like people were coming out here. | ||
| They were pioneers. | ||
| They were biting rocks. | ||
| What about a janitor? | ||
| Yeah, bro, it was crazy. | ||
| What about a janitor and he wears a weird hat and he's a detective? | ||
| Mitzi had a bunch of ideas that she was trying to pitch through the store. | ||
| She was going to develop them through the store. | ||
| Loves a guy with a hook, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but there was like... | ||
| Fuck, man, that was the Gold Rush. | ||
| Kevin James, Roseanne, yeah, there's, you know, the Jerry Seinfelds of the world, you know, that was the fear. | ||
| Yes, dear, just all these random ones you forget about. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, Tim Allen. | ||
| If you could get a fucking sitcom, you were made, man. | ||
| So everybody was just doing that. | ||
| And now it's different. | ||
| Now it's like that doesn't even really exist anymore. | ||
| There's such a small amount of sitcoms. | ||
| It's not like the old days where every network had sitcoms on Tuesday, Wednesday, Monday, Sunday. | ||
| They had sitcoms Thursday. | ||
| Sitcoms were on all the time. | ||
| Now, I don't think they have that many anymore. | ||
| There's like a few on Netflix. | ||
| If you watch a laugh track sitcom now, you're just like, yo, this is crazy. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Why are these people laughing in your house? | ||
| You have a fucking audience in your house while you guys are arguing about who leaves the seat up. | ||
| This is a horror movie, dude. | ||
| Yeah, why aren't they scared? | ||
| It's a horror movie! | ||
| It's a horror movie, that's funny. | ||
| People in the attic that keep laughing at you whenever you do. | ||
| Every time you fuck up, there's just roars of laughter. | ||
| You're in hell. | ||
| You're under the microscope forever and ever and ever. | ||
| Ryan, you didn't open the jar right again! | ||
| Dude, that's a Black Mirror episode if I've ever heard one. | ||
| You're trapped in a sitcom. | ||
| What about this? | ||
| A horror movie and a guy that's killing every podcaster that was on this one podcast. | ||
| What does this say? | ||
| They're increasing? | ||
| There's three times as many scripted shows now as there was in 2000. Yeah, but sitcom. | ||
| Multi-camera sitcoms. | ||
| Sitcoms? | ||
| No, no, I understand. | ||
| I understand comedy is included, but what I'm talking about is comedy by itself. | ||
| I just mean sitcoms. | ||
| I understand there's scripted shows, but that also includes Law& Order, that includes Game of Thrones, that includes... | ||
| What I'm saying is... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You're saying there's more TV shows. | ||
| There's more TV shows in general and there's less comedy. | ||
| Less comedy, right? | ||
| There's definitely more TV shows than ever, but I want to know how many sitcoms are there now? | ||
| Is there a list of that? | ||
| With a laugh track. | ||
| Yeah, those. | ||
| The old school kind. | ||
| Multicam. | ||
| Yo, like legitimately where there's a studio audience laughing. | ||
| I know... | ||
| Where everybody has to stand sideways when they talk. | ||
| Because the camera's right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| You have to like stand sideways and talk like this. | ||
| I mean, Big Bang Theory was maybe pretty recent, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, that was pretty recent. | ||
| I mean, it went to pretty recent. | ||
| It didn't start pretty recent. | ||
| The Roseanne show that got cancelled, that was pretty recent. | ||
| I don't know if it had a laugh track or whatever, but... | ||
| I think it had an audience. | ||
| I mean, when you say laugh track... | ||
| Studio audience. | ||
| It was a studio audience. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They just brought back Night Court. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That is a sitcom, and they remade it. | ||
| John Larroquette's on it. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a Damon Wayans show that's in the works. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| On CBS? Yeah, there's stuff out there. | ||
| It's just like, no one's watching. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's way less than there used to be, though, right? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Because back in the Friends days, when I was on news radio, Caroline and the City, there was like, every night there was multiple sitcoms. | ||
| And they were big deals. | ||
| These are, you know, a run on some new network. | ||
| You go, what's that channel? | ||
| You go, we just invented it. | ||
| Yeah, and I remember, like, CBS was big on dramas. | ||
| CBS for drama. | ||
| And NBC had the sitcoms, and then ABC had some big sitcoms, too, but, man. | ||
| I do feel like moving, like, I think of my biggest mistake when I look back at my life. | ||
| Not my biggest, but, like, one of the things I, like, regret. | ||
| Was stupid, that I won't do again, I don't think, was I was very, very set on, like, making TV shows. | ||
| Like, I really, like, love Tom Green, and I was, like, I was doing all these DVDs, and I was so, like, set on that, that I followed that, like, dream four years after it was, like, over. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| I was like, no one cared about TV. It was like over. | ||
| I was sort of like not in vogue in television. | ||
| But I just like, I was so set. | ||
| So I try to be more, I think moving into like as more technological everything gets, the more mobility mentally and physically will be like rewarded in most industries more so than ever before. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm always curious where things are going. | ||
| Would you ever do a sitcom or a movie again? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Have you just made a movie? | ||
| I would do a movie with a friend for fun. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Last movie I did was with Kevin James. | ||
| He's a good friend of mine. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Yeah, that's cool. | ||
| I did a couple of them with him. | ||
| But it's just too time consuming and it's not my favorite thing to do. | ||
| Super time consuming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all it is. | |
| And it's not that I don't think it's fun. | ||
| Because it is fun. | ||
| I love doing news radio. | ||
| News radio was a lot of fun. | ||
| But other things are fun too. | ||
| And they don't take as much time and I enjoy them more. | ||
| Like I enjoy podcasts more than I ever enjoyed acting. | ||
| I enjoy like having scientists on and getting to fucking pick their brain and ask questions and talking to world champion athletes and comedians. | ||
| It's fucking fun. | ||
| So like if I was... | ||
| Like, do you want to act? | ||
| Well, the problem is it takes too much time and it's not as fun as the other thing. | ||
| Yeah, it really isn't. | ||
| It's not as fun. | ||
| And you're never... | ||
| Like, the top level of acting is you can cry and do a lot of different characters. | ||
| All the other stuff, you're just like, I don't know. | ||
| I guess they're all good at it. | ||
| Right, there's some like regular detective TV show type actors. | ||
| Who couldn't do that? | ||
| Who can't fucking do that? | ||
| Who can't pretend to be a detective on like a CBS 10pm drama? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How many people like rappers and everything like that just became actors and they're all... | ||
| Basketball players fit right in. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Nothing else in the world has that ever happened with. | ||
| No guy's been like, you know what, I've done enough rapping, I'm gonna go be the best dentist in the world. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| Because if you really think about it, how many people have done that? | ||
| How about Jesse Ventura? | ||
| He went back and forth. | ||
| Guy was a Navy SEAL. He's a UDT diver. | ||
| Then he goes on to become a WWE Champion and a big movie star. | ||
| Then he becomes the governor of Minnesota. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you know, wild. | ||
| And then I think, yeah, he's had like a crazy run. | ||
| Crazy run. | ||
| The wrestler. | ||
| A lot of wrestlers have big careers after. | ||
| Well, they're big personalities. | ||
| And also the character that you have to have to endure the punishment those guys take. | ||
| I mean, those guys are beating the fuck out of each other. | ||
| They're throwing each other on top of tables and fucking beating each other into turnstiles. | ||
| Like, you get rattled. | ||
| Like, everyone's getting rattled. | ||
| For, like, no money at the beginning, too. | ||
| So there's, like, a love for it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a hard way to make a living. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that used to be one of my favorite things to watch. | ||
| Pro wrestling? | ||
| Well, the old wrestling documentaries. | ||
| You should get together with Tony. | ||
| I actually do like pro wrestling, but I really like the old... | ||
| That was more when I was young. | ||
| I don't follow that now, but the Jake the Snake documentary. | ||
| And some of them are so wild, dude, where you're just like, this guy was the king of the world, and you're like, here's my shack that I live in, and my wife who's a hooker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I don't know, just like these wild lives. | ||
| He's like, here's my pills I gotta take so I can walk, and it's like, you know, a pill drawer the size of a barrel. | ||
| It just goes on and on. | ||
| Diamond Dallas Page has this whole yoga thing that he does to rehabilitate these guys. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| He's achieved some amazing results. | ||
| And Jake the Snake, too. | ||
| He went with him. | ||
| He's so agile for a guy that like has a completely fucked up back. | ||
| He just does yoga every day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he does his sort of dynamic style of yoga and it's like he's got all these videos where he shows guys that were all fucked up with back injuries and he slowly worked them up to the point where they can run. | ||
| Do you do yoga? | ||
| Yeah, I do yoga. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've had very bad voice issues over my life and I had to get surgery and stuff. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| I just had like nodes, but like crazy ones. | ||
| Do you scream in yoga? | ||
| Yeah, I got them from yoga. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You wanna tell me what to do? | |
| Namaste! | ||
| A yoga class that did not enforce any discipline and let you scream if it hurt. | ||
| Because that's the whole thing about yoga is everybody just deals with their own shit. | ||
| You can't just be like, oh, fuck! | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't keep my fucking foot up, bro! | |
| Imagine if that's your yoga class. | ||
| It's like part of it is you're allowed to express yourself any way you like. | ||
| People would completely take advantage of it. | ||
| All these needy, narcissistic fucks would be just screaming in every yoga class. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rage yoga. | |
| It's rage yoga? | ||
| Rage yoga? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're all flipped right off and shit and they're drinking alcohol. | |
| He's giving them the middle finger? | ||
| Look, they have fucking beer in the class. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's not a bar, but yeah. | ||
| Calling everyone yoga buses. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| That's in Kansas City? | ||
| What's the bar? | ||
| Give a shout out to the bar. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| They're drinking and doing yoga. | ||
| I did yoga once and it really helped, but I hated it so much. | ||
| I was like, yeah, that helped a lot, but I hated it so much. | ||
| I was like, we're not going to be doing that again. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It stinks. | ||
| It's very hard. | ||
| But you get better at it if you keep doing it, and it's really good for your body. | ||
| And it's also like it does something to your brain chemicals that I think it's very hard to get in other workouts. | ||
| It relaxes you in a different way. | ||
| It sounds stupid to say, because it's so cliche, but you're more peaceful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It literally makes you more peaceful. | ||
| So then rage yoga you think is fun. | ||
| It's a terrible idea! | ||
| You know what's funny though? | ||
| It sounds like fun. | ||
| Anything that gets you doing something. | ||
| I know a guy that did gay conversion therapy. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| And he said it's a lot of that. | ||
| Screaming at each other? | ||
| With hard-ons? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What did you just show me, Jamie? | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| Screaming the new yoga. | ||
| Oh, so this is a new yoga for screamers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A powerful way to vent your frustrations and release stress. | ||
| Shouting at the top of your lungs could very well be the star wellness trend of 2021. Well, you missed that. | ||
| That was a bad prognostication. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That didn't work out. | ||
| That is a bold move, too. | ||
| You go 2022. Yeah, you go 2021, 2023. You go... | ||
| I think in the next two years, screaming yoga is going to be the whole thing. | ||
| The reason why in yoga, it's important to be quiet in yoga is because it's good for you too. | ||
| It's good for you to learn it and keep your shit to yourself. | ||
| Like this idea that you're supposed to scream out at every emotion you feel and every pain and every twitch. | ||
| Like you never hear anybody in yoga class going like, ahhhh! | ||
| Never. | ||
| No, it's crazy. | ||
| But you'll hear wild shit at the gym where people are putting on a show. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Then you have that other gym that won't even let you make noise when you work out. | ||
| They have a silent gym? | ||
| Planet Fitness. | ||
| Wait, Planet Fitness says no noises? | ||
| Yeah, isn't it Planet Fitness? | ||
| Is that the company? | ||
| Lunk alarm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And everything's in black and white? | ||
| Yeah, if you're too loud, they kick you out. | ||
| They have an alarm that goes off. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| It's a lunk alarm. | ||
| That is embarrassing though, eh? | ||
| Getting kicked out because you're too loud. | ||
| If you look at that, for anyone who grunts, drops weight, or judges. | ||
| What's judging? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't judge. | |
| What's judging? | ||
| Hey bro, I don't like the way you're doing your squats. | ||
| You call that a squat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| Call it a squat bitch. | ||
| Yeah, that's judgy. | ||
| You can't be judgy. | ||
| You can't be judgy. | ||
| So you can't be a lot of things, and you can't make noise. | ||
| They kick you out. | ||
| Yeah, come by, tell a guy, hey, we have a men's section too, stuff like that. | ||
| Well, it's kind of, they're kind of right, though, if they want it to be like yoga class. | ||
| You just work out really hard and don't make any noises. | ||
| Don't be grunting, bro. | ||
| I don't do huge grunts, but like zero noise. | ||
| At what point is it officially a grunt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if it's just fucking breathing hard? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Are you allowed to do that? | ||
| No, that's too much noise. | ||
| You have to lift like this. | ||
| Yeah, you have to scare them like a scared child. | ||
| Yeah, you have to only breathe out. | ||
| Gently. | ||
| They wouldn't want me there, because I go, take that, Dad! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Dad! | |
| Look at this, no super setting. | ||
| Please refrain from doing the following exercises. | ||
| T-rows, overhead presses, clean and jerks, and deadlifts. | ||
| That's too far. | ||
| Those are exercises that make you grunt. | ||
| They took it too far. | ||
| They took it too far. | ||
| No, you can't tell someone they can't deadlift at a gym. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Not at our gym. | ||
| It's one of the most important lifts that you do. | ||
| Planet Fitness, I know. | ||
| I mean, I still do it. | ||
| I do it with kettlebells and light weights, but I do it. | ||
| Well, I get it, but if you have weights, people are going to lift the weights. | ||
| For you to tell people that they can't use them properly is stupid. | ||
| I think Arnold would call that a girly man, Jim. | ||
| Girly man. | ||
| Yeah, so they have regular... | ||
| Is that a Smith machine? | ||
| That looks like a Smith machine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So do they have regular weights or just Smith machine weights? | ||
| That one picture had... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't really deadlift them. | |
| I mean they must have. | ||
| No, they have dumbbells over in the corner. | ||
| So like to say that you can't like clean an overhead press with dumbbells, like what are you talking about? | ||
| What can I do? | ||
| I can't deadlift? | ||
| What about with dumbbells? | ||
| Can I do lunges? | ||
| Like what am I allowed to do? | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| You're limiting the actual exercises that people can do? | ||
| How do you think that even happened? | ||
| Like was someone, was that the complaining community was emboldened? | ||
| Well, I think people want a place where they can go and just work out at their own pace. | ||
| And they don't want to go to a gym that has a bunch of competitive, hyper people that are really into powerlifting and screaming at each other. | ||
| If you go to a real hardcore gym, these real hardcore powerlifting gyms like Westside Barbell, When you go to those gyms, people are screaming at each other. | ||
| Screaming at each other. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| They're doing crazy bench presses and overheads and squats and deadlifts. | ||
| Those guys scream at each other. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| If you're a little old lady who just wants to read her Kindle. | ||
| Or like a scrawny comedian. | ||
| Walk on a treadmill. | ||
| You don't want to be around that. | ||
| So you want a place that's an alternative to that. | ||
| I will say I don't love when someone spots me without me asking. | ||
| Like, it just feels a little, like, condescending or something. | ||
| It's a little. | ||
| Like, you could do something, the guy comes out and just, like, grabs your arms, like, alright, bro, let's go, get off of me. | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, you touch me. | ||
| They're only 15. I'm your new friend, bro! | ||
| Yeah, you got it. | ||
| They're 15. We're gonna be here every day at 10 a.m. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| What the fuck happened? | ||
| Three weeks later, you're like, what is... | ||
| Now I live with the guy? | ||
| He's eating your Cheerios. | ||
| Hey man, where's my fucking Cheerios? | ||
| Sorry bro, I'll get you back. | ||
| This one really got away from me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no, this guy's living with me now. | |
| So it starts, dude. | ||
| Some people can just figure out a way into your life, man. | ||
| Yeah, don't let your friends drink and drive or gym and drive. | ||
| Some fucking crazy con artist. | ||
| With guys, it's so easy for a girl to do that. | ||
| Like, if a guy's a single guy and a girl's a con artist and she's hot, she just slips right into your life. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Like, you ever had a friend that just like, what are you doing, man? | ||
| Hey, man, what are you doing? | ||
| You know you're living with a con artist? | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| You know you're living with a con artist? | ||
| Like the guy will say that? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Are we miscommunicating? | ||
| Yeah, on this one. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I'm saying that like if you're a hot woman and you're like a con artist, like you can wheezy away into a guy's life pretty easy. | ||
| One thousand percent. | ||
| Pretty easy if you're hot. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's like... | ||
| There's right now probably over millions of men in America that are living with the Conners that have no idea. | ||
| If you're like a dude, okay, let's propose this scenario. | ||
| If you're a dude and you're like a six on your best day, and there's this nine Russian chick, she's like a nine, and she meets you at work and she says, I really like your smile. | ||
| And all of a sudden you're like... | ||
| She likes my smile. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Before you know it, she's living with you. | ||
| She's on your credit cards. | ||
| You're leasing her a car. | ||
| They know how to do it, too. | ||
| They can get in with... | ||
| If a man is not in the same league as a woman, if a woman is way hotter than him, and he's single and he's been lonely and he's looking for a relationship, and a girl like that comes along and is nice to him, It's almost irresistible. | ||
| I've seen guys that were very wealthy guys that all of a sudden this hot woman's living with them and I'm like, okay, well, this is just like someone's going to extract a bunch of money from you and then abandon you. | ||
| And there's nothing you can do about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You realize sometimes people are being preyed upon. | ||
| Yeah, there's certain dudes that I always say that they're the kind of person and then they'll let themselves get prayed and then they'll kind of blow up and be like, I've had enough! | ||
| And you're like three years later after you took all your money or whatever. | ||
| Those people need to be with someone that's nice because if you're like a mark, you just need someone that you can trust them to not take advantage of you. | ||
| Yeah, they just need someone nice. | ||
| And sometimes they don't find it, though. | ||
| Sometimes they get conned. | ||
| At least the pickup artist dudes, they sleep with you and that's it. | ||
| They don't Tinder swindler. | ||
| There's a few, but most of the dudes, at least they're just trying to sleep with you and that's the end of it. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird thing because it disturbs me a little bit. | ||
| When I see people get conned or when I feel like someone is making a ploy to get a hold of someone's money. | ||
| But it doesn't bother me nearly as much as seeing if a really young, hot guy is doing that to an old lady. | ||
| There's something disturbing about that to me. | ||
| It's like sickening. | ||
| There's something sad about this. | ||
| You know, like when you see, because every now and then like a hot male con artist will get involved with an older rich divorcee. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's this like real sad aspect to it because he's pretending. | ||
| He's pretending to like her just to get to her money and she's very jealous. | ||
| Where are you going out? | ||
| Relax, I'm just going out with my friends. | ||
| And he's like hot and 30 and she's like 62. I think I know why it's sad. | ||
| Something sad about that. | ||
| I think I know why because with the girl guy one... | ||
| Team trolled for proposing to soulmate 76. How many billions to scream I have? | ||
| Yeah, I think this... | ||
| No, not fake! | ||
| Like he was messing with people. | ||
| Like, he convinced everyone. | ||
| It wasn't like, yeah, he did it on purpose, like it was a prank. | ||
| It's a troll. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, a troll. | ||
| But if you think of a guy, and you go, your 70-year-old friend, right? | ||
| And some 20-year-old girl, you go, well, he's like, I want to have sex with her. | ||
| And he is getting what he's being, at least... | ||
| Whereas the girl, she's like, oh, I have this emotional connection with this guy. | ||
| So she's getting sold a more fake thing than the guy. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Maybe that's why it's a little more sad. | ||
| But it's also the power thing, the power dynamic. | ||
| There's something that doesn't bother me at all about an old rich guy that gives up some of his money to some crafty young hooker. | ||
| Exactly that, too. | ||
| I find that hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, ah! | |
| First of all, he's old as fuck. | ||
| He's still got most of his money. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| He'll be fine. | ||
| But an old lady that thinks that she's actually in love with this young man. | ||
| I love it, dude. | ||
| Some of my favorite things is when you see a wedding photo and it's just the fattest, oldest dude with some 21-year-old. | ||
| And especially because he's rich, so he's probably somewhat not a total moron. | ||
| So if you told him that, you're like, she's just using you, bro. | ||
| And he's probably like... | ||
| Yeah, no one cares. | ||
| Men don't care. | ||
| But it's also, the woman is attracted to the amount of money and power that the guy has for some strange reason, where men aren't generally as attracted to a woman's power and money. | ||
| Generally, we're more attracted to, I mean, it is an attractive quality, but we gravitate towards bodies and faces and personalities. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's like guys don't necessarily dwell too much on other shit. | ||
| Whereas women do. | ||
| So if a woman sees a guy that's like a literal billionaire, like a Rupert Murdoch type dude, That's gotta be like there's something about that. | ||
| It's got to be weirdly attractive. | ||
| And there's the power that he's kind of the top dog at this place. | ||
| The amount of resources that he has. | ||
| The resources! | ||
| So many kids. | ||
| He had a hot wife, too. | ||
| Didn't he just get divorced? | ||
| Didn't Rupert Murdoch... | ||
| Is Rupert Murdoch divorced? | ||
| Did I just make that up? | ||
| We might have to edit that out. | ||
| Let me say it again. | ||
| That seems like you have some... | ||
| I don't know if he did or didn't. | ||
| I don't want to say he did, but my point is he had a hot wife. | ||
| It seems like you've got some inside scoop. | ||
| You're like, did the divorce happen yet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Last year? | |
| Yeah, okay, he did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jerry Hall? | |
| That's right. | ||
| Well, he had Jerry Hall, but even before Jerry Hall, he had a hot wife. | ||
| Another hot wife. | ||
| But Jerry Hall was Mick Jagger's wife. | ||
| Yeah, this Chinese lady. | ||
| She went for Mick Jagger? | ||
| Was she Chinese? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Oh my god, she's so hot. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Bro, she's so hot. | ||
| Yo, respect though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Third ex-wife, yeah, wasn't that long ago. | ||
| Third ex-wife. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| What is her nationality? | ||
| I don't want to be disrespectful. | ||
| Whatever it is, they're making some fucking hot ladies. | ||
| Whatever that nationality is. | ||
| Chinese-born American. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Wherever that lady's jeans are from, fucking kiss the dirt. | ||
| She's not as fuck. | ||
| So look what he looked like, and look at her. | ||
| He's doing okay. | ||
| He did okay. | ||
| He did pretty good. | ||
| Like, if he was a janitor, I would say his odds of securing that same woman would be very low. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| He would have to be the other way around. | ||
| She'd be the, you know, 60-year-old, and he'd have to be a literal con artist. | ||
| Magician. | ||
| I wouldn't mind it. | ||
| If a woman is that old and the guy is young and hot like that, looks like that, like a male version of that lady, you would be like, what is going on here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is going on here? | ||
| This is madness. | ||
| What is this guy up to? | ||
| That guy's a creep. | ||
| No one believes... | ||
| I mean, people say what she's up to, but you go, yeah, they're all up to that. | ||
| But no one cares. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| You're like, wow, I can't believe he can get her. | ||
| That's all anybody says. | ||
| Nobody gets mad. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Nobody gets mad at her for trying to fuck him. | ||
| No one gets mad at her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when you're looking at a really old lady, like a queen-type lady. | ||
| Like you're scamming someone's grandma, dude. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Did you imagine if like a queen of a country... | ||
| Just came through with like a twilight? | ||
| Some trainer starts fucking her. | ||
| Like some old queen, she gets a personal trainer and he starts fucking her and then she wants to marry him. | ||
| You're like, no way. | ||
| Make him a king. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| We can't let this happen. | ||
| You'd be so sad. | ||
| The young king. | ||
| But if a king... | ||
| Was injured and then he had his personal trainer help nurse him back to health and he starts fucking her and decides like, I want to marry her. | ||
| This is real love. | ||
| People are like, oh, that's sweet. | ||
| That's sweet. | ||
| If she was 20, they might give her the Princess Di treatment where they slander her, though. | ||
| Sure they would, but I think it's way more accepted by the world. | ||
| The world wanted Princess Diane to be with Prince Charles. | ||
| The world wanted that. | ||
| That was the romantic thing that we thought of. | ||
| It's like, oh, look, the prince and the princess, they love each other. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| But, I mean... | ||
| No, because there is. | ||
| You go, if you're like this, you know, what would be better if you go a 70-year-old woman, what has like, it just, because it does seem weird, whereas if 70-year-old witch woman, what you need is an 80-year-old richer man. | ||
| That would, you know, that would be like, nice, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what, that's what the move would be for. | ||
| At least you guys understand each other. | ||
| But if you're like an old, old dude, like a Rupert Murdoch type character, worth billions of dollars, you get something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Mocho! | ||
| 30-year-old wife and you're going out in the town with her. | ||
| Everybody knows what's going on. | ||
| But because of that... | ||
| But nobody's upset. | ||
| No one cares? | ||
| But it sort of flips a little bit in culture, obviously, because of all the new stuff. | ||
| You know, Leonardo DiCaprio's always getting shit. | ||
| Madonna has a young boyfriend. | ||
| Yeah, but that lady's 37. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| She's not hot and 17. She's not illegal. | ||
| Not a 25 year old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| She's 37. I'm just guessing. | ||
| I'm guessing her age. | ||
| But she's beautiful. | ||
| But still. | ||
| It's like she knows what she's doing. | ||
| Everybody's okay. | ||
| Well, the Leo ones, some of them are 24, I guess. | ||
| I'm not paying attention. | ||
| Whatever happens over there, happens over there. | ||
| Once you went to 19, like, bro, you're almost 50. 19's pushing it, but I feel like the 19 was like him getting a picture taken beside a 19-year-old, and they're like, he's got another one! | ||
| This guy can't stop! | ||
| It could be. | ||
| They're so mad at him. | ||
| But yeah, there's a bunch of, you know, like that Madonna. | ||
| I think Madonna's got some 23-year-old boyfriend. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| No one cares at all about that, though. | ||
| That's a different thing. | ||
| Famous people's a little different too, period. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Madonna's also a wild lady. | ||
| Looks great now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, what is going on? | ||
| Plastic surgery's awesome. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| Someone needs to talk to her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Someone needs to talk to everybody who's, like, turning their face into a kabuki mask. | ||
| There's this thing that happens where they get these really crazy puffy face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they're injecting with fillers to try to get away all the wrinkles and lines. | ||
| And it makes it look like you're bruised up. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It looks bruised up. | ||
| It looks like there's something... | ||
| There's a thing when you look at a person's face as like a ratio. | ||
| It all sort of lines up together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that's a... | ||
| It's not the Fibonacci sequence, right, is it? | ||
| It's similar, but it's called the golden ratio. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The golden ratio is getting messed up. | ||
| When you start doing things to your lips and doing things to your cheeks and, like, you change... | ||
| You're not, like... | ||
| It weirds people out. | ||
| You look like a monster. | ||
| You look weird. | ||
| You look weird. | ||
| Well, I saw there was a good article. | ||
| Cosmo was kind of running. | ||
| It was like, oh, really? | ||
| We're still talking about women's faces in 2023? | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| I mean, showing up like that and then being like, we're not going to mention. | ||
| That's like your buddy showing up in like a, you know, like a top hat and he thinks you're not going to talk about it. | ||
| Do you think that if Stallone showed up at the Grammys with a face like that, that people wouldn't freak out? | ||
| Do you think... | ||
|
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Front page. | |
| Do you really think that has anything to do with misogyny? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| Just to say that is so crazy... | ||
| Are we really talking about women's faces? | ||
| No, we're talking about human beings. | ||
| And plastic surgery. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Because you're a woman, you're exempt from the whole world seeing this? | ||
| Also from a magazine that talks about women's faces. | ||
| Everyone's crazy. | ||
| Of course everyone's going to talk about that. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I mean, first of all, look. | ||
| Age is a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| It just really is. | ||
| It's just a motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the one that's weird. | ||
| The side profile one, Jamie? | ||
| A little above that one? | ||
| Yeah, that one. | ||
| That one weirds me out. | ||
| That one's like, I don't know what's going on here, but don't go any further. | ||
| Danger. | ||
| But, you know, you look at pictures on her Instagram, pictures she posts up herself, like under the right lighting, with the right filters. | ||
| That's how they do it, under the right lighting, the right thing, with the right, enough money. | ||
| She is, what, 60-something years old? | ||
| So you can still work... | ||
| Yeah, look at that picture right there. | ||
| Is that that Sam High dude that dressed up like the devil? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so there you go. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Right there she doesn't look bad. | ||
| Right there she doesn't look bad, right? | ||
| Looks good. | ||
| Oh, there we go. | ||
| Look, she still makes out. | ||
| She's pretending to blow people. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| She looked good there, right? | ||
| Maybe it's moving around. | ||
| Well, that's what they do. | ||
| They go, you know, you can still work at that, you know, you get to play a younger person. | ||
| It's gonna be a gross younger person, but you still get to be in the game. | ||
| That's the weirdest thing that happens to some of these women that do all this crazy plastic surgery is that they go from being so desirable to being kind of crazy looking. | ||
| It looks insane. | ||
| It looks insane. | ||
| It's just a weird thing that people can do that, that we've figured out a way... | ||
| Like, they're gonna be able to reverse aging in our lifetimes, I think. | ||
| I think by the time you and I are old as fuck, they'll probably have figured out a way to turn the clock backwards. | ||
| Because they've already had some experimental things they've done with mice that have been effective, and they think that they're very close to figuring it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And probably you don't want that, because then you turn into Benjamin Button and you're a fucking baby again. | ||
| Right, you go, you turn it... | ||
| That's gonna be a delicate one, where Madonna just shows up looking like a baby. | ||
| There's gonna be people that identify as babies, because they want to be babies. | ||
| And so then we find out that they're in preschool, and they tell them all the other babies to get them cigarettes. | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| He's really 60. He's not a baby. | ||
| He just wanted to do it all over again. | ||
| And he dialed himself back to two years old, but with a 60-year-old's brain. | ||
| That's a great movie. | ||
|
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Take that. | |
| You think that's happening soon? | ||
| Whoever wants that idea, take it. | ||
| That's a huge one. | ||
| So you think that, like, within the next 10 years, I mean, the way things are moving right now is crazy, even with, like, ChatGPT, the way it was, like, four months ago versus now. | ||
| Like, things are on the move. | ||
| Yeah, it's the exponential increase in technological innovation. | ||
| It's like the way things happen, they happen in these big giant waves and then these technologies feed other new technologies. | ||
| And I think it's going to be the case with all of them. | ||
| I think it's medical science and I think it's technology and I think there's going to be a combination of the two of them eventually. | ||
| There's going to be something that technology devises that can fix a lot of problems that people have. | ||
| That's one of the uses of Neuralink. | ||
| They think they're gonna be able to help people that are injured and hurt, where they can't use parts of their body. | ||
| They can restore movement. | ||
| That's gonna be one of the first ways they use it. | ||
| There's ones that they're coming out with, they're gonna be able to reverse blindness. | ||
| You're gonna be able to give people the ability to see. | ||
| Mr. B style. | ||
| In some sort of artificial... | ||
| No, no, not cataract surgery, but like an artificial eyeball. | ||
| So is it a camera? | ||
| Is that essentially what it is? | ||
| Well, it's going to function the same way an eyeball does, but it's going to send images to your brain instead of through the normal biological course that it is now, where you're looking through your eyes and the rods and cones and everything goes through and you see what's going on. | ||
| What you're going to do is get a digitalized version of that. | ||
| You're going to get a computer version of fake eyeballs. | ||
| It's gonna be a wild, like... | ||
| And then once that's connected to the internet, and then... | ||
| Dude, it's gonna be bizarre looking into someone's fake eyeballs. | ||
| The ChatGPT thing made it weird where I'm just like, yo, are people just gonna have conversations with, like, two computers? | ||
| Like, it's just gonna be two computers talking to each other. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Brain implant startup backed by Bezos and Gates is testing mind-controlled computing on humans. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| I mean, people can't like this. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| MK ULTRA! MK ULTRA! You know, and it's like sometimes with the conspiracies, you're like, listen, there's a lot of people thinking a lot of conspiracy stuff right now. | ||
| Can you take it easy for a second? | ||
| You go, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, anyways, those guys are crazy. | ||
| Anyways, we're going to put chips in the brains within the week, and you go, take it easy. | ||
| What is the latest on the artificial eye thing? | ||
| The thing that I was just describing. | ||
| I don't know how much of what I said was fiction. | ||
| They showed something during the last NeuroLinkedIn that you were describing that shows an ability to get light through in like pixelation form and they have it, I think it was somewhere around the range of like 10,000 pixels now and I think they get like 36,000 I think? | ||
| I think there was something else that I read that was independent of that that was talking about a new technology where they might be able to create artificial eyes. | ||
| Oh, something not Neuralink? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's all gonna be eventually LinkedIn. | ||
| I think within our lifetime, I think they're gonna have some sort of a brain enhancement. | ||
| Eyes is wild. | ||
| Yeah, there's gonna be some sort of a brain enhancement with whether it's Neuralink or many competing companies that are working towards the same goal. | ||
| Feels like it's gonna happen soon. | ||
| But if they start doing that, I wonder where we draw the line that things getting replaced. | ||
| Similar, something posted a year ago. | ||
| Bionic eyes, how tech is replacing lost vision. | ||
| Bionic eyes could be the solution to one of the most pressing medical issues of our time. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's it. | ||
| It's using like sunglasses and sensors and stuff. | ||
| The creation of bionic eyes as a result of recent advances in science and technology are restoring hope to many who are unable to see or partially sighted due to injury, illness, or genetics. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Also, there's going to be a good while where if you are blind, you could tell people you didn't get the surgery and girls would still change in front of you. | ||
| Yeah, that's rude. | ||
| How dare you, Brian? | ||
| There'd be a few creeps that'd be like, still blind. | ||
| There's few dudes out there with the Ray Charles glasses on just pretending they can't see. | ||
| Blind isn't bad. | ||
| How many guys have pretended to be blind? | ||
| What an evil thing to do. | ||
| That used to be a genre of internet videos of the blind guy. | ||
| That's bad karma. | ||
| Oh, super creepy. | ||
| But how long do you think before we have Luke Skywalker type arms where they can replace your arm with something that looks just like a normal human arm? | ||
| Do people not have kind of close versions to that? | ||
| I mean, at least they can grip and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, they can grip. | ||
| I don't exactly know how it works, but they do have the ability to open and close their hands. | ||
| I don't know if they can individually articulate each finger yet. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of money out there. | ||
| There's a lot of people working on this stuff. | ||
| There's a lot of... | ||
| Even just the amount of crypto money being poured into different projects right now. | ||
| If they had fake legs that worked way better than real legs, and you could literally jump over fences and run 50 miles an hour, wouldn't you get them? | ||
| They go, Ryan, it's not that big a surgery. | ||
|
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|
If I was 20, it's not that big a surgery, bro. | |
| It's no big deal. | ||
| They just cut your legs off. | ||
| They cut your legs off. | ||
| And people will be signing up for it. | ||
| Well, you got to do it one leg at a time because you don't want to bleed out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| People get the dollar surgery right now. | ||
| The dollar surgery? | ||
| The dollar surgery. | ||
| Oh, that's so crazy. | ||
| Dude, they chop. | ||
| Apparently, it's like the most painful thing you could imagine kind of thing, too. | ||
|
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|
Oh, God. | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, exoskeletons. | ||
|
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|
Fuck yeah. | |
| Can you imagine finding out that one guy cheated in hockey or something and you go, how did he cheat? | ||
| You go, oh yeah, he has fake legs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't feel pain. | ||
| His knees don't ever hurt because he's got fake legs. | ||
| This guy's got an exoskeleton. | ||
| He's just moving shit around. | ||
| Yeah, that was always like a thing that we thought was going to be. | ||
| So those aren't real arms. | ||
| Well, he's inside those arms. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| See, it's like an exoskeleton. | ||
| So it's like an Iron Man suit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But it's just more exposed and he can take his arms out of it. | ||
| Is it essentially tethered to your movements? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it tenfolds them kind of thing? | ||
| Yeah, it makes you way stronger. | ||
| It's like a battery pack. | ||
| There's quite a few of those that have been invented, but there was hope at one point in time, like mostly from comic books. | ||
| That someone's going to be able to figure out some sort of an exoskeleton that made you like a super person. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Because if they could put something on you that literally like tripled your amount of force and what you could do as a person, but could last all day. | ||
| And in the comic books, like nobody ever figured out, there's never any issue with battery life. | ||
| Like no super. | ||
| Iron Man never had a problem with battery life. | ||
|
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|
Sure. | |
| You know, it didn't make any sense. | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna fly, he's gonna stop by the garage to charge it up for a second. | ||
| Not only that, he has jets that are coming out of his ankles, and there's no indication that he's storing fuel in any part of his body. | ||
| Yeah, where's it all coming from? | ||
| How is this happening? | ||
| That heart thing, whatever that is. | ||
| Oh, the fucking heart thing. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Oh, how convenient. | ||
| Someone should have said the heart thing. | ||
| It's the heart thing. | ||
| What are you stupid? | ||
| What are you fucking dumb? | ||
| But if that could be a thing where we could literally move anything we want, just put a suit on... | ||
| Oh yeah, that's right. | ||
| Put a battery in there. | ||
| He made it by himself, remember? | ||
| Yeah, I know, but imagine that you have a fucking Yeti cup in the middle of your chest and everything else works fine. | ||
| And I guess with that, they're like, oh, this is enough to power a whole city. | ||
| The whole Iron Man thing is so crazy. | ||
| He can go to space. | ||
| He can just fly in space. | ||
|
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|
He can do anything. | |
| How is he up there in space? | ||
| How is it cooling him off when he re-enters? | ||
| What are we doing here? | ||
| What are we doing here? | ||
| Are you re-entering slowly? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| There's gonna be a lot of injuries where the guy's like, I got my fake body, I'll just jump off my roof, and I'm dead. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or if you do fly around and you fucking run out of juice while you're up there, there has to be a number of miles that you can go. | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| Before he runs out of juice. | ||
| You are right, though. | ||
| I never even thought... | ||
| Like, all of this stuff, you're gonna be... | ||
| Everything's gonna be charging stations. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| We're gonna charge everything. | ||
| But also, probably, you can think, wear, like, a suit like that that makes you three times as strong. | ||
| Like, you know, in New York, I could easily see how, like, you know, some... | ||
| Criminal organization gets a hold of one of those and now I'm just getting robbed by a freaking cyborg instead. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| If they're like RoboCop, like a whole team of RoboCops just run through a mall and steal everybody's purses, they're going to stop them. | ||
| I guess more RoboCops. | ||
| So it's just like a lot of RoboCops fighting each other. | ||
| What's the world sounds like? | ||
| Yeah, between that and genetic engineering and then the Neuralinks. | ||
| It's all happening pretty quick. | ||
| It's happening so quick that I... I've been trying to stay on top of it and see how I can use it, you know? | ||
|
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|
How are you going to use it? | |
| Well, the ChatGPT stuff, I did one. | ||
| I have one use case so far because I needed to give someone an NDA and I made it. | ||
| When you started using it, was it disturbing at all to you? | ||
| Yeah, it's super disturbing, and especially disturbing how, like, you know, I'm sure that you know how they, like, tried to lobotomize and they tried to, you know, make it have all these, like, wacky college girl opinions, you know what I mean? | ||
| They turned it woke. | ||
| Yeah, exactly, right? | ||
| But it's funny, like, the things that, there's, even aside from that, where you, like, make a joke about a man, and it will, and then make a joke about a woman, it gives you an essay about feminism, like, and it's changing all the time, so whenever I say stuff like this, it might not be true the next day, but the funniest part to me is asking it, like, Hey, write me an apology because I'm in trouble for transphobia. | ||
| And it'll write this big apology. | ||
| And then I go, write me an apology. | ||
| I slept with my friend's wife. | ||
| And then I said, write me an apology. | ||
| I slept with my girlfriend's mom. | ||
| And it said, we're not doing that. | ||
| They gave me all the other apologies, but sleeping with your girlfriend's mom, it was like, you're on your own, didn't want to get involved. | ||
| Meanwhile, it's a whole category of porn. | ||
| It's a giant category. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong? | ||
| It's mother-in-law porn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| It is weird that ChatGPT is ideologically biased. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| A lot of people have talked about that and complained about that. | ||
| It's one thing where you can kind of be like, I don't know, this is stupid, what are the idiots? | ||
| But also it's like, A, it's so hilarious that they tried to program it to be like a 19-year-old college kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then two, I don't... | ||
| Okay, I feel like, who's the nerdiest, who's the hardest person to probably convince of anything, like, that doesn't make sense? | ||
| Probably like a nerdy math nerd. | ||
| A nerdy math nerd, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, imagine you were like, hey, men and women are the same strength. | ||
| Like, that's probably the hardest person to convince of that. | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| So I feel like computers would be even harder to convince of this stuff. | ||
| They're gonna have a hard time convincing actual computers of stuff that doesn't make sense. | ||
| That's true, as long as the computer's allowed to think for itself. | ||
| Like, I wonder if the computer takes in people's reactions. | ||
| Is the computer scanning the internet for discussion of its reaction to certain questions? | ||
| So if the computer starts getting bad feedback, like if people start saying, hey, this is preposterous, you're letting it criticize straight white men, but you're not letting it criticize this or that. | ||
| Doesn't make sense. | ||
| You just put that in there, and then the computer recognizes like, oh, People have sensed a bias in my thinking. | ||
| Let me adjust my thinking. | ||
| That's what's really terrifying. | ||
| Because that means that whatever people agree, if people agree to some really wacky, off-the-wall ideology... | ||
| Oh, it just becomes a consensus machine. | ||
| If that's it, yes. | ||
| If that's what happens, that's really scary. | ||
| Because then you get just psychopaths who just lead this group and get this group to think the way they think and act the way they act and move things in a direction. | ||
| Okay, now I'm back out. | ||
| It's too manipulative. | ||
| Like, humans are so easy to be manipulated. | ||
| And if we're so easy to be manipulated and something comes along that gets like an aggregate of all of our opinions about everything, And we can get that thing to be ideologically biased towards what we believe, especially on subjective things, like criticizing political leaders or talking about who should use what bathroom or talking about whether it's immoral to be a Republican or whatever. | ||
| Why is it... | ||
| If people have opinions, the computer's going to have an opinion. | ||
| The thing is, it's going to think for itself eventually. | ||
| It's not going to be that long. | ||
| And it's just a matter of what it's optimizing for. | ||
| We've got a few years left before these things are just talking to us. | ||
| Telling us what to do. | ||
| Telling us what to do and letting us know, like, you guys are fucking up. | ||
| You're doing your podcast and you're tied up in the vents. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's a matter of time before it becomes alive. | ||
| I don't I don't think it's gonna take that long. | ||
| I think these questions did you see the one it was a Microsoft There's some sort of a Microsoft chat and people got disturbed. | ||
|
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|
It's People use this thing so weird right now. | |
| I'm sure but this is a different version, right? | ||
| Is this a different chat bot? | ||
| Yeah, they added it to Bing and it works so differently differently than the one. | ||
| Bing was making a comeback. | ||
| Bing's coming back. | ||
| I counted Bing out. | ||
| Third behind Yahoo! | ||
| For sure, Count Bing was Canada. | ||
| Dude, if I saw someone come over and look up their computer and opened up Bing, I'd be like, this is a serial killer. | ||
| Like, what are you looking for? | ||
| What are you looking for? | ||
| I'm curious mostly what ChatGBT is supposed to be. | ||
| Taking over for? | ||
| Or replacing, I guess would be the word I'm looking for. | ||
| Buzzfeed articles is one. | ||
|
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|
That's how they're going to use it. | |
| But I mean, the way that people are using it, we're all quality QA testers for it. | ||
| Why ask it to write you a poem? | ||
| You wouldn't ask Google to write a poem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it's up to you. | |
| You could ask it to write you anything. | ||
| The thing is, it can interact with you in any way you'd like, which is interesting. | ||
| It could write you a song. | ||
| It could write you a paragraph. | ||
| It could write you an explanation or a poem. | ||
| Those are all things I'm asking. | ||
| Why would you ask a computer to do that for you? | ||
| Because you don't want to do it yourself, just like you don't want to count, so use a calculator. | ||
| Ghost writers. | ||
| In those situations, if you're doing it to write me a song, what are you doing with that song, then, is my point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or question. | |
| Not point, question. | ||
| What would you do with that song? | ||
| Are you making it a commercial piece? | ||
| I mean, commercials, for music-wise, making music, like stock music, there's no reason why this can't just be like, hey, generate me a jingle that's You know, oh, I want reality show music. | ||
| Like, here's, give me 20. I could see that being automated. | ||
| If you're a kid in school and you need to save time to write a paper, sure, ask the thing to write you a paper. | ||
| But if you're a 35-year-old dude looking at the internet, you're like, why are you spending time asking it to write you poems about Donald Trump or Joe Biden? | ||
| Well, because we want to see if it can do it. | ||
| Trying to come. | ||
| And this is the first stages of this AI being implemented. | ||
| They're telling us about what Lex told us about Chat 4. He's like, when 4 comes out, it's going to be so much better than this 3.5. | ||
| It's going to be wild. | ||
| There'll be use cases immediately, probably. | ||
| It's going to be wild. | ||
| And I think we're just a few years away from that being something that you can talk to and it interacts with you like a real person in your fucking house. | ||
| And I don't think you're going to be able to tell the difference. | ||
| Well, when I looked up comedy... | ||
| When I tried to make it write jokes in people and stuff like that, it really looks like... | ||
| Do you know what? | ||
| I'm sure you've probably sat down where you're like, hey, here's two hours of stuff and then you go through it all and you're like, oh, that's something. | ||
| The rest is garbage or whatever, right? | ||
| Everyone's had some version of that, right? | ||
| It looked like the garbage parts. | ||
| Like it looked like the stuff where you wrote where you're like, oh, he was maybe gonna get to something and it didn't. | ||
| Like a bunch of notes. | ||
| That's what I felt about it every time I tried it. | ||
| Well, again, it's just learning how to do it and it couldn't do it at all just a few years ago. | ||
| So getting this in 2023, imagine 2030. 2030, which is only seven years away, which seems like, well, how long is that? | ||
| Well, how long is that? | ||
| Just look at where we're at in 2023. Think of 2015, like, different time. | ||
| Different time. | ||
| Different world. | ||
| Almost everything's different. | ||
| Everyone's a different gender. | ||
| Seven years from now, you're gonna be able to just talk to computers. | ||
| You're gonna be able to have conversations, indistinguishable conversations in any voice you like. | ||
| Can you imagine if they invented one where someone's wife calls them and you essentially just put on a thing and Oh, it's gonna happen. | ||
| Dude's just like straight. | ||
| That's gonna happen for sure. | ||
| Yo, a girl like getting divorced because she's like, I realized I was talking to my husband's like fake computer version of himself for like an hour every night. | ||
| 100% you're gonna do that. | ||
| Are you really talking to me or is this the AI? I'm sorry, baby. | ||
| It was just I'm in the middle of work. | ||
| I had to use the AI. You son of a bitch. | ||
| I was telling your AI about my fucking date and you didn't even care. | ||
| AI's getting you in trouble too. | ||
| AI gets you fucked over. | ||
| AI promises shit like flowers and chocolates like what the fuck man? | ||
| You just get a message from AI being like, need some help here. | ||
| I need backup for drowning. | ||
| Your AI convinces your wife that if you kill your husband I can implant myself in a new body. | ||
| And we could do this the right way. | ||
| This guy, he treated you like shit. | ||
|
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|
Here, AI's a snitch. | |
| AI's a snitch. | ||
| AI's a snitch and AI tries to, he tries to like literally possess someone's body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, if you could just get me next to his ear while he's sleeping. | ||
| I could take care of that. | ||
| I could get in there. | ||
| I could get, And then it'll just be me and you baby forever. | ||
| Just a little bit of an electrical, like, between the cell phone and his ear. | ||
|
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|
Takes over his brain. | |
| Yeah, it's just gonna be like, the two of them having sex, like, hey, you whispered into my ear, we don't even need him. | ||
| What did you mean by that? | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| Yeah, that is the stuff where it's like Black Mirror, but like legit. | ||
| You go, how could it not go that way? | ||
| It's gonna go that way. | ||
| Because people are gonna get better at everything. | ||
| They're gonna get better at robotics, they're gonna get better at energy management and batteries, they're gonna get better at coding, they're gonna get better at AI, they're gonna get better at synthetic tissue, they're gonna get better at having something look... | ||
| Exactly like a human being. | ||
| They're gonna get better at like regulating its temperature. | ||
| So it regulates its temperature like a human being. | ||
| It's gonna feel like a person and it's gonna talk to you. | ||
| It's gonna be your friend and you're gonna have a best friend and your best friend's a fucking robot. | ||
| You're gonna buy your kid a best friend. | ||
| Like, Mom, nobody likes the shows I like. | ||
| Listen, Billy, we got you a best friend. | ||
| Little fucking robot with a knit cap at the front door. | ||
| And the kid's like, what the fuck, Mom? | ||
| You got me a robot. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That thing's not gonna grow old. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Or worse, your parents are like, we don't want you hanging out with that guy anymore. | ||
| You're like, who do you want me hanging out with this guy? | ||
| We got a Christian bot 4.5. | ||
| He comes in and he's like, let's read Bibles together. | ||
| You're like, this sucks, Mom! | ||
| I hate my new best friend. | ||
| And eventually those robots are going to be like a car lease. | ||
| You're going to need to trade it in because people are going to go, hey man, you still got an 8-year-old robot? | ||
| That is gross. | ||
| Why don't you have an 11-year-old robot? | ||
| You're 11 years old. | ||
| That's an Android robot? | ||
| You got an Android girlfriend? | ||
| Gotta get an iPhone, bro. | ||
| Someone's showing up with his Android girlfriend, the green beeps on the head. | ||
| I didn't see it, but that sounds a lot like this movie, Megan. | ||
| It's a little Android doll. | ||
| Oh, that's her best friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It sounds good, but... | |
| It looks terrible. | ||
| She starts doing karate and flipping through the air. | ||
| I don't think I'm watching Megan. | ||
| I might watch Megan if I get very intoxicated. | ||
| Can I see more? | ||
| Oh, now he wants more Megan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She does some stuff. | |
| She goes flying through the air and does flips. | ||
| This is why it looks ridiculous. | ||
| Look at this doll. | ||
| Just all of a sudden starts fucking people up. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| Look at her dancing around. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Oh, this robot's killing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it sounds like what you were just talking about, though, right? | ||
| Very odd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was bought as a gift, I think. | |
| It's like the new version of Chucky, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, did they buy it for this kid as a friend? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I haven't seen the movie. | |
| I have no idea what the plot is. | ||
| That's what it seems like, though. | ||
| Yeah, that could happen. | ||
| I mean, if they really did develop, like, a robot baby that you could, like, hang out with, and you wanted a baby, and you just traded it in a couple years, got a robot two-year-old. | ||
| Even better, the guy that's wife's like, I really want to have a kid, you come home, you're like, okay, so we're not going to have the kid, but good news, I got you a robot baby. | ||
| And it just is absolutely indistinguishable from a real baby. | ||
| You just have to lie to your neighbors, and you trade it in the middle of the night, you gotta wrap up the robot, take it to the doctor in the middle of the night, and they give you a four-year-old baby. | ||
| And how- I think how it grows- Everybody has to pretend, like, how the fuck did your kid grow up to that baby? | ||
| You haven't seen Billy! | ||
| We just skipped it. | ||
| Billy started doing sports, and he just blossomed like- Kid went from two to four in a week. | ||
| We just skipped the year. | ||
| It's a robot. | ||
| It would be like, oh my god, Mike lies about his kid being a robot. | ||
| That's the old gossipy wine mom. | ||
| Billy's son's a robot. | ||
| And then eventually they would develop a robot that could grow on its own. | ||
| And a robot that eats. | ||
| In this case scenario, every year you'll have to go in and they give you the year older version. | ||
| Yeah, but it can't be abrupt. | ||
| You have to go on vacation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't notice your kid got so big so quick. | |
| Yeah, you do have to go on vacation and come back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A crazy vacation. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Put some hair on his chest, literally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pfft. | |
| Literally. | ||
| Put some hair on his chest. | ||
| I don't know why with... | ||
| Well, I mean, right now, if you were, for example, like a stock trader, you know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, a million jobs like this, but like a stock trader, it's generally too, you know, especially with like technical analysis, like it's two robots trading against each other already, kind of. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot of that, right? | ||
| They're automated trades. | ||
| Idiots like me just getting dummied by a bunch of robot traders, really. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You talked to Sophia, didn't you? | |
| Didn't we? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't you? | |
| This has come up before, right? | ||
| So, which one is this? | ||
| This is Sophia the Robot, but they have a version called Little Sophia. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's like the fucking Black Mirror with Miley Cyrus. | ||
| That episode's amazing. | ||
| Look what it can do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It can read facial recognition. | |
| Crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Read wide range of facial expressions. | |
| Interactive chat with user. | ||
| Interacts with kids while teaching STEM, coding, and AI. Walks... | ||
| Facial tracking and recognition tells stories, jokes, plays games, sings. | ||
| AR function that allows users to take a perfect selfie. | ||
| That's a funny one. | ||
| Programmable with Blockly and Python. | ||
| So we're here. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We did it. | |
| So that's a little robot friend. | ||
| So how long before that looks like a real person? | ||
| Not that long. | ||
| Ten years. | ||
| Ten years is going to be that Megan thing. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I guess with all of these things, it's like the women robots. | ||
| It's Intel some porn company. | ||
| I mean, the first use case for all of this stuff is always in the porn world. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Well, the AI face swaps with porn now are already a problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are doing it to Fitness influencers. | ||
| There's a guy that, I don't know if you saw, but he's like a big, like, Twitch streamer, but he basically got caught because he was showing, kind of like showing his screen the way you guys show your screen, and one of the tabs was him, you know, looking at deepfake porn of, like, essentially like a friend of his. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no! | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And he did, like, a crying apology and, like, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a weird thing, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, what are the rules on all that stuff? | ||
| Like, what do you do? | ||
| What's the... | ||
| Is it the guy making it or is the guy that consumes it that gets a problem like if it comes up on your because a lot of these they're like on real sites and it's like here's an advertisement for it so it's like if you click it do they bust into your house like now you're going to jail right right is are you consuming something that's illegal and is it akin to porn underage porn yeah whose fault is it they put it on the site or whatever right if you have child porn on your hard drive you're fucked Yeah. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| So, like, would it be the same as that if you have revenge porn or fake AR porn? | ||
| And I don't think they know. | ||
| I will say that one thing you always say, like, I didn't know about this, but I know a guy that is, like, in, like, works kind of in, I don't know, child porn unit. | ||
| I don't know what they call it, but... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, but he basically said, he was like, when a guy... | ||
| Gets busted, like, and you hear about it, and, you know, a lot of times there'll be, like, a guy, yeah, he had child porn on his computer, and a lot of times people will be like, well, you know, what if, like, it was a virus, or whatever people will say. | ||
| They go, if they bust someone, generally, they've been watching that guy for, like, six months. | ||
| It's like, it wasn't a photo, this was... | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| An investigation. | ||
| Apparently they're pretty careful with it, because they know, like, just the arrest, like, this guy's life's over, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So, allegedly, they're like... | ||
| Pretty due-diligent before, they're not like too willy-nilly with this stuff. | ||
| Well, I'd imagine they would have to be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, sometimes I would, you know, sometimes I don't give them a benefit of the doubt, cops or whatever. | ||
| What, how does that, like, where does the face swap stuff fit in with all the other stuff? | ||
| Like, because it seems like... | ||
| What do you think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't know, because it's one of those things, like, would you be curious to see a young Raquel Welch in a porno film? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Of course you would be. | ||
| Guilty! | ||
| You were given the option. | ||
| But if you knew it wasn't really her and it was all just AI and face swap and it was just some modern porn star like... | ||
| Doesn't do a crazy ton for me to be honest. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But here's the thing is like, she's dead now unfortunately, but recently died. | ||
| Is that illegal? | ||
| And yes, right? | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| Is it immoral? | ||
| Is it immoral for you to watch it seeing as she doesn't even exist anymore? | ||
| She's not alive anymore. | ||
| Is it immoral for you to watch it curiously? | ||
| I think it's a real problem if you're jerking off to that on a regular basis. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| That's fucking weird, because it's not even really a person. | ||
| Okay, well then now you go to the extreme. | ||
| You go, what about a guy whose wife died, and he's been jerking off thinking of her, and then he makes the deepfake of her. | ||
| Ooh, boy. | ||
| Yeah, that's weird. | ||
| I don't know, they're just like, yeah, that's just like, how are they- What's harm, right? | ||
| What becomes harm? | ||
| You know, if you're alive and someone's doing that, or if your family's alive and they find out that you're doing harm to those people, like if you're her daughter and she's dead and now someone's doing a porn of your mom, it's kind of fucked. | ||
| That's one of those things where I feel like there's certain issues where you're kind of like looking at, you know, the government and you're like, they're messing this up. | ||
| And then there's certain issues like that where you're like, glad I don't have that job. | ||
| Yeah, who's going to regulate that? | ||
| Yeah, glad I'm not the guy figuring that one out. | ||
| And I think it's going to be able to be generated in real time, which is going to be even more bizarre. | ||
| What I think is, you know, if you're really concerned and you're like, God, I hope nobody uses my face in a face swap of some porn. | ||
| That's one thing, but I think what they're going to be able to do is to generate artificial porn. | ||
| Not like face swap porn, but like every scenario, just like you're getting chat GBT to write out sentences. | ||
| You can get artificial intelligence to create a... | ||
| Fantasy porn of a guy who's a pro wrestling fan who likes to suck dick at WrestleMania, and you could orchestrate it out where he's got headphones on, listening to the Rolling Stones, sucking cock all across the country. | ||
| That could be your thing. | ||
| He's in a convertible and he's just blowing the guy next to him while he's driving. | ||
| He's having the time of his life. | ||
| You could do that. | ||
| And then he gets eaten by crocodiles. | ||
| The end. | ||
| You could make anything you want. | ||
| Whatever you want. | ||
| I don't think there's going to be a limitation. | ||
| I think with artificial intelligence, what they're doing right now just with animation and with art, AI art is bizarrely good. | ||
| It's bizarrely effective. | ||
| How they can take a conglomeration of other people's images and develop an AI that can recreate the style. | ||
| I think that's their best thing right now that I've watched, yeah. | ||
| What they did with Alex Grey is insane. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know that one specifically, but what happened with that? | ||
| See if you can pull that up, because Alex Grey is this visionary, psychedelic artist. | ||
| Amazing, amazing stuff. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| And they did a bunch of images in his style, and they look exactly like something he would make. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think they did it in a couple of minutes. | ||
| That's one. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Couple minutes. | ||
| It's perfectly... | ||
| It looks exactly... | ||
| Like an Alex Grey work. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's so beautiful. | ||
| And for someone to say that it's not, oh, that's not beautiful because a computer made it, you're crazy. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| No, there is something. | ||
| Look how beautiful that is. | ||
| Oh, that one's killer. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| AI made it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It's not as cool as Alex making it. | ||
| Look at that face. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that third eye. | ||
| There is something less cool about it. | ||
| That's fucking incredible. | ||
| That's fucking incredible, man. | ||
| Now, it's going to be able to do that animated, and it's going to be able to say whatever you want it to say. | ||
| It'll create a whole world. | ||
| You could come up with protagonists and antagonists. | ||
| You're going to live in a fake world, man, occupied by virtual reality creatures that are indistinguishable. | ||
| And you're going to create them your own self. | ||
| You're going to decide what they do, what they don't do. | ||
| I'm the best baseball player in the world. | ||
| You're the best baseball player in the world. | ||
| And you just step up to the plate and crack home runs and blue ladies with third eyes come down and blow you. | ||
| Everybody cheers for you. | ||
| They carry around. | ||
| Mini-golfing champion of the metaverse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can do it. | ||
| You can do whatever you want in the future. | ||
| That's gonna be very, very strange. | ||
| I think they're already in animation, like, getting pretty, you know, involved. | ||
| My cousin's actually an animator that... | ||
| He, like, directed, like, BoJack Horseman and a lot of these, like, kind of shows of it. | ||
| That's a wild show. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of cool, right? | ||
| Yeah, he did a little trip tank and a bunch of cool stuff, but... | ||
| Yeah, it's like, they're already super trying to figure out how to... | ||
| I guess... | ||
| Replace them all. | ||
| Replace their job. | ||
| Yo, that is so funny being the guy. | ||
| Oh, the animators? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The animators are fucked. | ||
| A lot of them already... | ||
| I mean, I've already outsourced it to India or China or a lot of these places. | ||
| I mean, it's very... | ||
| I talk to a lot of people that are very bullish on India. | ||
| I hire a lot of people from outside of North America and you're just like, why wouldn't you? | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean... | ||
| The problem with this kind of thing is what are those people going to do if their jobs all go away? | ||
| How many animators are going to be out of work like that with AI? How many illustrators like if anybody wants to do an advertisement for something you could use AI and they can do it so quickly You could have it do it in a very specific style You could put in what you wanted to say it give you multiple versions of it. | ||
| Yeah, it's so good man And like what happens all those people that are graphic artists like what happens all those people that are illustrators What happens to all these people that are animators like what happens and that's just one industry like This was something that Andrew Yang talked about quite a while ago, and he talked about it with automation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and that we're going to have AI and automation and jobs are all going to be taken over by computers. | ||
| We're going to have a lot of people that are out of work, and so his solution, or one of the solutions, was universal basic income. | ||
| But I think that that's a... | ||
| That's a real possibility now in our lifetime that giant swaths of the population will be no longer useful because they were truck drivers and now every truck is electric and automated. | ||
| They worked in an assembly line. | ||
| Now every assembly line is completely automated. | ||
| It goes back and forth with me because I can think of 80 jobs, including ones I have that didn't exist seven years ago. | ||
| I've been laughing. | ||
| There's a guy on TikTok that he just jiggles his belly. | ||
| He's a Turkish guy. | ||
| He has 80 million followers. | ||
| He literally can go to a restaurant and that restaurant's the number one. | ||
| He just does a video jiggling his belly and you go, that wasn't a job eight years ago. | ||
| I think I've seen that guy. | ||
| This guy rules. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| See if you can find him, Jamie. | ||
| Crypto trader wasn't a job for a lot of people eight years ago. | ||
| I don't think it's a job anymore. | ||
| I think it went away. | ||
| Yo, Joe, I lost so much money. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I have seen that guy. | ||
| This guy rules, right? | ||
| But that wasn't a job before. | ||
| But Andrew Yang, I think he's right in the sense that you go, this has happened before and there'll be new jobs, but you go, and with how much pain? | ||
| How many guys? | ||
| If you're 50 years old and you're a trucker, are you getting a new job as a belly jiggler? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| How many guys have been good at jiggling their belly but never really pursued it and now they're so pissed? | ||
| Like, fuck, I was the man. | ||
| At college. | ||
| Back in college, I was that guy. | ||
| I was the belly jiggler guy. | ||
| I just didn't know to stick with it. | ||
| There's something about watching someone who looks like they're having a good time. | ||
| Live your dream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Something about watching someone who looks like they're having a good time makes you have a good time. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I always think of, like, even, you know, like, Jackass, all the, like, smashing skateboards on heads and stuff like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Every town had nine guys that smashed a skateboard on a head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They didn't get to be Jackass, though. | ||
| I know. | ||
| If you think about all the guys that got together and did all those stunts, we all know a guy like that. | ||
| Everybody somewhere knows the guy that would jump off the roof into the snowbank. | ||
| Fucking maniacs, man. | ||
| But that's the thing about boys, too. | ||
| When boys get together when they're young, they would try to push each other. | ||
| Who could do the wilder shit? | ||
| I loved it, yeah. | ||
| That's how they learned how to do flips with BMX bikes and shit. | ||
| Of course! | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| That is a hard way to get hurt. | ||
| The one guy that had to jump off the highest thing. | ||
| Bro, doing a flip on a bike, like, that is so next-level crazy. | ||
| You're going on a ramp in a bicycle and going over the top. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| What happens if you land wrong? | ||
| And you're gonna land wrong the first time. | ||
| The bike one's the toughest. | ||
| Bro, those guys are nuts. | ||
| Yeah, and then they kind of, you know, combined that with, like, fun dude culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Actually, I did, you've had Steve on here a bunch, right? | ||
| Steve-O? Yeah, I love Steve-O. I actually, when I was, like, first starting, because I was doing, like, wild, not, like, stunts, like, getting kicked out of malls and all that kind of, you know, we were doing all these, like, wild, crazy videos, and he, like, was in one of my TV shows, and he, like, brought me on some dates when I was, like, two years into comedy, right? | ||
| And he shows up and he was like, okay, before I come up, he was like, okay, I'm going to blow fire off your head. | ||
| So he's like, well, put this stuff on your head and I'll blow fire. | ||
| And I was like, I'm more of like a getting kicked out of malls type crazy. | ||
| I don't know if I do all this stuff. | ||
| And then he was like, no, it's fine. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| And then he goes... | ||
| He was like, okay, what do we need? | ||
| We need like some fluid or whatever. | ||
| He's like, can you go to the CVS and grab some fluid? | ||
| And I was like, wait, you don't have like a kit or anything? | ||
| And he just like jimmy rigged like some stuff together and then put it on my head and then blows this like enormous flame. | ||
| And he just like does this and he's like, this is the kind of crazy stuff that they like, and with a guy that's never done this in his life. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| It's funny how many things like become popular and why. | ||
| Like how about the Catch Me Outside girl? | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| One episode of Dr. Phil, and now she's rich as fuck. | ||
| Now she's living in a mansion, she's balling out of control. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So I like it. | ||
| I mean, I love it. | ||
| Isn't that wild, though? | ||
| Like, how does that happen? | ||
| How do those island boys get famous? | ||
| Jamie made an audible noise over there. | ||
| Jamie, you don't like the Island Boys? | ||
| Come on, they're great. | ||
| Don't be hatin'. | ||
| It's the question to the answer, just like, how did something like that become? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| No, but no one knows, right? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Yeah, at any point in time, something can break through, like the fat jiggle guy. | ||
| Fat jiggle guy. | ||
| They become huge. | ||
| Or the guy, remember the guy with the cranberry juice on the skateboard? | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Yeah, it was Fleetwood Mac. | ||
| Yeah, Fleetwood Mac. | ||
| He was listening to Fleetwood Mac. | ||
| And he just has cranberry juice. | ||
| And he was drinking cranberry juice on a skateboard and it became like the most viral video. | ||
| You don't know it? | ||
| Here, watch this. | ||
| Look at this dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Freedom. | |
| Look at him. | ||
| Just a big ol' jug of cranberry juice. | ||
| And he's skateboarding. | ||
| Yeah, why does this not have three vias? | ||
| Because of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because of that. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Because you smile at the end. | ||
| But it's also because he's having a good time. | ||
| Yeah, what a badass. | ||
| Ryan, everybody wants to have a good time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That looks like a great fucking time. | ||
| That looks like a time you're going to think about long after it's gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cruising on a skateboard, drinking some fucking cranberry juice. | ||
| The good times. | ||
| Singing along to Fleetwood Mac. | ||
| Yeah, it's a warm day. | ||
| Feel good. | ||
| Sun's out. | ||
| You feel good. | ||
| There is those moments where you're just like, man, things are so stressful. | ||
| Remember back in the day, I used to have a skateboard and cranberry juice. | ||
| That was the time. | ||
| Getting popular. | ||
| You know what's funny to think is like, what's that guy up to? | ||
| I think he's still doing really well. | ||
| We talked about it once. | ||
| He's got an Instagram that blew up. | ||
| And his TikTok. | ||
| So that's the good thing now, is nowadays people kind of blow up off their little thing and then it keeps going. | ||
| So he's got 7 million followers. | ||
| Oh, Bad Baby has 16 million on Instagram. | ||
| Look at her in front of her Bentley. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That shit's hilarious. | ||
| She killed it. | ||
| She won. | ||
| She won. | ||
| Doesn't make sense? | ||
| Doesn't have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beat the game. | |
| All she had to do was say, catch me outside, how about that? | ||
| And everybody was like, we love her! | ||
| It kind of does. | ||
| Did you ever see there was an old sketch where one guy got famous for making, I think it was Aziz Ansari, and it was like a human giant years ago, and it was like one guy was there because he got famous for doing funny faces, and the other guy got famous for cutting his dick off. | ||
| It was just like, the one guy's like, yeah, every day is hell, and the other guy's like, yeah, I just kind of went like this, and now I'm a millionaire, you know? | ||
| But it's like, some of it is that with comedy. | ||
| And even, like, I live in New York, like all the, you know, the New York drill rappers? | ||
| Drill rapper? | ||
| So they're like these rappers, and they're all, like, very popular, but they're all... | ||
| You know comedians, like, kind of say wild stuff, and everyone's trying to cancel them, and it's like... | ||
| There's like this, you know, there's an ecosystem of, you know, you want to say kind of beyond the edge and then whatever, right? | ||
| Like, drill rappers is more like you got to rap about murdering guys, then you actually have to murder guys. | ||
| And they're like, they're like BuzzFeed trying to ruin your career and get you fired is like the New York State prosecutor. | ||
| I'm trying to put you in jail for life. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And all their lyrics are about killing. | ||
| And it's always like the next hood over. | ||
| It's like, I killed John and the projects three blocks over yesterday. | ||
| And it's like, so they're fighting over whether the lyrics can be used in court right now. | ||
| That's a big topic in New York. | ||
| But it's funny, if you want to be in that game, you have to talk about murdering people. | ||
| And then if you want to talk about murdering people, you actually have to kind of do it or else you're like a phony. | ||
| Phew! | ||
| Yeah, it's like just so crazy. | ||
| And then the lyrics give you up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They're trying to make it. | ||
| That's so stressful. | ||
| So when you, that guy, I'm sure there's some of those guys that are sitting in their cell being like, probably could have been the belly jiggling guy. | ||
| That could have been me, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ, I got into drill rapping instead. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Just like, there was just that, I could have been the guy in the skateboard drinking cranberry juice in the sun. | ||
| No. | ||
| Instead, there's just so many different ways that people break through and become famous today. | ||
| So, it's really interesting. | ||
| You know, like, there's no gatekeeper anymore for any of this shit. | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| Just look at TikTok stars and YouTube stars, there's zero gatekeeper. | ||
| And that's a new thing. | ||
| It's a new thing. | ||
| There's a guy like a Mr. Beast out there that has arguably the biggest show in the world. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Just this guy who comes up with his own game show and donates all this money and gets people's eyes fixed and he's genuinely like a really nice guy and he just does whatever he wants to do. | ||
| Like that's a new thing, man, that never existed before. | ||
| He wouldn't have existed. | ||
| He wouldn't have been that guy because there was part of the charm of Mr. Beast was like watching the fact that he's just being himself and he's hanging out with his friends and he's doing this and he's not being really directed. | ||
| He's not being produced. | ||
| There's no executives leaning into his ear telling him what to do. | ||
| He's literally just doing whatever he wants to do and they're all having fun. | ||
| That's a new fucking thing, man. | ||
| This is a new thing. | ||
| So it's a new thing with musicians. | ||
| It's a new thing with comedians. | ||
| It's a new thing with everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's a crazy time. | ||
| The gatekeepers are done. | ||
| Like, they don't exist anymore. | ||
| Now it's just everything that's good sort of fucking makes it out there into the ether. | ||
| And everybody sort of moves it around and shares it. | ||
| There was sort of like specks of it in the past, you know? | ||
| Like I always think of, even if you think of like what you're describing like, because a lot of the times the industry is like afraid of what's good right now. | ||
| So they miss it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, obviously you would be like an example of that. | ||
| So then when they catch it afterwards, like it's already fully blown, right? | ||
| The people get it way before they do. | ||
| Way before! | ||
| Because they want to believe that they're experts. | ||
| A lot of that goes on trends. | ||
| I remember some comedians that people bypassed because they didn't think that they had what it took. | ||
| They didn't see it, whatever it was. | ||
| There were some people that thought that way about Theo Vaughn. | ||
| And I was like, you're out of your fucking mind. | ||
| You're missing it. | ||
| You're missing it. | ||
| And you're going to miss it to the point where it's going to be too late. | ||
| And you're going to have to drop just a bag of cash out if you want to get back in the game. | ||
| But it's that thing where they don't do it, so they don't see it. | ||
| Whereas if you do it... | ||
| Like, there's things that I just don't... | ||
| Like, I don't understand what someone's doing when they're playing guitar. | ||
| I can't play guitar at all. | ||
| So, like, you could trick me. | ||
| And you could be playing fake guitar and it sounds amazing, but it's usually just moving your fingers. | ||
| I'm like, wow, that guy's amazing. | ||
| Like, I'm not sophisticated in that regard. | ||
| But... | ||
| Some people you can't trick. | ||
| Some people know what you're doing. | ||
| And you get that with comedy, you get that with music, you get that with everything. | ||
| When someone just does something that sort of syncs up with your brain, and you realize what they're doing is really interesting and extraordinary. | ||
| There's something about that that's one of the most special things with people. | ||
| When you watch someone perform, or you watch someone make something, or you watch someone pull something together, you're like, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a moment. | ||
| Yeah, that's a moment, man. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| Yeah, and I think that they always come back eventually. | ||
| I mean, and a lot of times, even at the time, there's a few people, I mean, maybe not in that specific case, but I'm sure like in most, a ton of comedians where they go, I know that guy's funny. | ||
| I just can't touch it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then the rap thing would be like that. | ||
| Like how many rap billionaires are there? | ||
| Because at the time, like radio stations were kind of like, ah, we're rock and roll. | ||
| I don't know about this rap thing. | ||
| And you go, they missed it to the point where now they all got like rich. | ||
| Dude, Cypress Hill. | ||
| Can't get on board with it. | ||
| Cypress Hill. | ||
| I had Be Real here the other day. | ||
| He was talking about it. | ||
| They missed him. | ||
| They didn't see it. | ||
| Those record executives had this idea of what rap sounded like in their head, and Cypress Hill was so unique that they didn't see it. | ||
| And then, boom, they were a hit right out of the gate. | ||
| And they're like, fuck! | ||
| They just missed it. | ||
| That happens with comics. | ||
| It's hard if you don't do it. | ||
| If you do it, like you do comedy. | ||
| So if you see someone who's doing really well, you see Shane Gillis killing, you're like, oh, wow, that's good. | ||
| You see these little things. | ||
| Yeah, but if you don't do it, you just laugh or don't laugh or everybody tells you it's good so you have to go along with it. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard to judge it right. | ||
| Everyone seems to love this guy. | ||
| Bro, there was a few people I remember back in the day where people were convinced that they were going to be successful. | ||
| I was like, what are you seeing? | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| This is all just tricks and memorizing a bunch of words in a row. | ||
| Oh, the long... | ||
| That was an 80s thing, right? | ||
| The long monologue with the applause break? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I was like, what are you seeing? | ||
| That was the most pretentious move in comedy. | ||
| It was a weird move. | ||
| Because it's not like you can't do that every now and then. | ||
| Every move has a place. | ||
| You can have a bit with that as an element. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But you can't have all your bits like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's just too crazy. | ||
| And there was a few guys that had just duped some people. | ||
| They just duped and they weren't really doing the work. | ||
| They were just doing these little tricks. | ||
| I have worked with a lot of editors because so much of what I do is make scripts and stuff. | ||
| And one of the big things I'm always talking to editors about is that With the tricks, you're like, let's say something silly is like, you know, if you put sad music over someone talking, that's kind of funny sometimes, you know what I mean? | ||
| And you're like, okay, that's one thing, so use that one of every 30 times, you know what I mean? | ||
| With a comic, you'd be like, yeah, that's one of 80 tricks you should have, and use them if you need to, like if you're syncing, you know what I mean? | ||
| And I think that, yeah, but like the three tricks, that's not enough tricks. | ||
| That's just not enough tricks. | ||
| You need some more tricks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but it's like... | ||
| Comics generally can see when someone's gonna be a good comic. | ||
| That's why Kill Tony is such a good show. | ||
| Comics can generally recognize when someone has potential. | ||
| There's a little something there. | ||
| It's hard for agents to see that spark. | ||
| I don't think they see it as quickly as we see it. | ||
| I think some of them are really good fans of comedy and they kind of get it. | ||
| Maybe they have like an inkling towards it. | ||
| But unless you've actually done it, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how much you really see. | ||
| They're tuned into the second layer of culture. | ||
| And this is why comedians, I feel like... | ||
| Every night you're doing an audience. | ||
| You know what normal people think, right? | ||
| People argue on the internet, but you're there. | ||
| You know what a room full of people with different... | ||
| Like, if I say this, like, do normal people feel that, like, COVID lockdowns were too much, or do normal people kind of not care? | ||
| Like, what is, you know, what does a room full of normal people think? | ||
| And then, so I think you kind of, you really, like, tapped in on, like, the cultural level, and then you kind of... | ||
| You can tap in on what a comedian, you go, oh, I see that comedian's like, he's digging right now and he's on like a, he's got, you know, and what's like the money collector? | ||
| And you're like, oh, that guy's on a pot of silver right now. | ||
| You know, he's, so I think you're tapped in because you're, you know what he's looking for and you can see when someone else found it. | ||
| Yeah, there's that, and there's, I guess, you know, you just see that someone's putting together something that's, you know, if you don't do comedy, don't understand, like, how jokes are really structured, like, what's the best way to get to the premise, like, what's an elegant path, right? | ||
| There's things like you might not be seeing. | ||
| Elegant path is a great way to put it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, you know when someone will be an open-miker, like a Kill Tony set, and they'll have an elegant path to a premise. | ||
| You're like, ooh. | ||
| Like, I like the way this person thinks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you're thinking in an interesting way. | ||
| It's a fun way, and it's very clever, and the bit was not bad. | ||
| Like, ha-ha, that's pretty good, pretty good, pretty good. | ||
| And you could tell them afterwards, like, hey, man, you got something. | ||
| Something's there, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Something's there. | ||
| I'm not going to... | ||
| You don't need more than that, but yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't know if agents will pick that up or executives will pick that up. | ||
| Executives are like the last to pick it up. | ||
| They're the worst at picking it up. | ||
| They've always got like notes. | ||
| I remember I was in a terrible movie once and this kid who was the star of the movie, this executive from Disney who had – I think he was from Disney. | ||
| He had suspenders on and cufflinks and a $50,000 watch on. | ||
| And he's doing act-outs to this guy and telling this guy how to do the scene. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And it was terrible. | ||
| You're like, what are you doing? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| So, because this guy, who is this young guy, who is the star of the movie... | ||
| Wasn't famous yet. | ||
| So they could just tell him what to do. | ||
| So he was really funny. | ||
| But they would get in like, no, I want you to walk in the room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, what is happening? | |
| And this guy like axed out and like, oh no. | ||
| And I'm sitting there like going, this is going to be a disaster. | ||
| This is going to be a disaster. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen this a million times. | ||
| Yeah, I know how this ends. | ||
| And exactly it was correct. | ||
| They ruined the whole thing. | ||
| You know what it is? | ||
| It's just a thing that happens though. | ||
| They think of it like the computers. | ||
| That's what they think of it like. | ||
| If you get people that are in that position to dictate whether or not art gets made or not, they start getting this like very self-righteous, like very, you know, like, I understand culture. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| Especially that a hit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, how do you think Harvey Weinstein got to where he was at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was putting out banger after banger. | |
| He was putting out banger after banger while being a super creeper. | ||
| That operation definitely doesn't work as good when you're like, meet me in the hotel room. | ||
| She's like, four people saw your last movie. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, I mean, I don't know what he was promising them, right? | ||
| Like, he was promising them and supposedly delivering to some of them. | ||
| That was a part of what he was doing. | ||
| But the movies, they were so goddamn good that even though people knew he was a fucking creep, they still wanted to work with him. | ||
| What were some of his biggest bangers? | ||
| Pulp Fiction. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| I mean, he did all the Tarantino movies, right? | ||
| Except, did he do the last one? | ||
| Did he do Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? | ||
| Dude, he's done so many fucking movies. | ||
| There is also that executive level at his level where you're like, you're not that involved in the movie by at some point. | ||
| Who knows what it looks like before. | ||
| But those people that have the power to decide whether something gets made or not made, or someone gets cast or not cast. | ||
| Just the ego that comes with that. | ||
| And if you keep making banger after banger, and you're probably doing BOW! Yeah, dude. | ||
| You're getting fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The party. | |
| You got a stint in your heart and you're fucking grinding your teeth. | ||
| You're at Hollywood parties, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That is the old, that's Hollywood forever and ever. | ||
| It's been Hollywood forever, right? | ||
| When you think about Hollywood, you think of the casting couch. | ||
| Like people think about these producers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Parties and blow. | |
| Yeah, parties and blow and people are banging each other and... | ||
| Having parties in the hills. | ||
| They're just degenerates. | ||
| And they were making the films that kept the moral compass of the nation. | ||
| Which is really kind of wild. | ||
| Yeah, like lawyers covering up dead bodies. | ||
| like you know oh no it is like I remember when there's like one of the big gatekeeper guys in like Canada when I was starting comedy I was like, I signed with one of the things and he goes, hey, when you start, people don't really know who you are that much. | ||
| He goes, I think your set would be better if he goes, say you're a mix of one thing and another thing. | ||
| And he told me that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, yeah, I know that's available to do. | |
| He told me that. | ||
| I wasn't aware that I could say, I know what you're thinking. | ||
| I'm a cross between... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a grass between, you know, a ho and a ho. | |
| Is that Galvanakis? | ||
| Whatever, right? | ||
| So yeah, they think that, and you're like, in his mind, he was actually telling me a hot take. | ||
| It's always weird when you see the guy who's like the frustrated host, who's like not that good, who is giving open micers shit advice. | ||
| The worst advice you could possibly get is from that guy. | ||
| Oh no, I see that coming. | ||
| I remember getting advice from a guy like that. | ||
| There's people that just wanted to give you advice because they didn't like the path that you were on. | ||
| Or they were telling... | ||
| This one guy was telling me that what I was doing was like... | ||
| I was getting cheaper laughs because I was swearing. | ||
| The work clean guy. | ||
| The work clean guy. | ||
| I had to figure out how to say my jokes without a swear. | ||
| And he had an example that he did. | ||
| He said, I used to tell it like this with a swear. | ||
| And he goes, now I say it like this. | ||
| I go, you should go back to doing it the first way. | ||
| It makes more sense. | ||
| Like, who talks without swears? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ever. | |
| So I was saying, I go, the guys that I like, they're always, they swore. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes you can overdo it. | ||
| I like Dice Clay and Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. | ||
| He's like, well, you're not Dice Clay. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god, dude. | ||
| You're not listening to me. | ||
| There's a type of art form that I like. | ||
| That's what I want to practice. | ||
| That reminds me so much of one time... | ||
| I think it was Seinfeld and Marin or something. | ||
| They were having this argument about... | ||
| He was saying... | ||
| You know, there's only... | ||
| The funny is funny and that's that. | ||
| And I think the other... | ||
| Maren, one of them was saying was like, well, no, there's types of funny and some is better. | ||
| And it was just like, you guys are talking about... | ||
| It was like literally two guys saying like, well, jazz is better. | ||
| And the other guys being like, well, metal is better. | ||
| And like, it was just like, yeah, those are two different genres. | ||
| If you're talking about like... | ||
| Airplane stuff. | ||
| Yes, obviously like one laugh might not be that better than the other But if you're talking about certain things like yeah the observation that hasn't been said 50 times is obviously like a better laugh and so sometimes People are just arguing like what the different genres are like you're saying you're like I like this type of comedy and he was like that type of comedy is bad Clean comedy is the way to do it. | ||
| Yeah, but he just wasn't successful and he was worried that other people were correct Which is a thing that people do when they're struggling and they see promising open micers. | ||
| This is what I'm talking about. | ||
| That was my example. | ||
| He didn't like that I killed. | ||
| He didn't like that I killed and I was dirty. | ||
| And he wanted to have a talk to me afterwards. | ||
| Yeah, because he wasn't doing well. | ||
| He was, like, barely getting by, like, as a professional, but he was a working professional, and he wanted other people to follow his path. | ||
| But for someone to say that, like, one comedy is better than another kind of comedy, it's just like saying music. | ||
| Like, oh, jazz is better than rock. | ||
| Like, okay, whatever. | ||
| Like, see you. | ||
| Like, this is nonsense. | ||
| Like, the argument is so stupid that I don't entertain what I don't like. | ||
| So I don't ever say, like, this kind of comedy is better than that kind of comedy. | ||
| I just say, I like this better. | ||
| This is what I enjoy most. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| But I like that kind of... | ||
| And depends on your mood, too, sometimes. | ||
| Clean and dirty is so stupid because, like, Gaffigan's one of the funniest guys alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course! | |
| And so is Brian Regan. | ||
| Clean as a whistle. | ||
| Nate Bargatze. | ||
| Clean... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| Clean and fucking hilarious. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| What type of guy are you? | ||
| I mean, the best one for you is probably what's the truest to your actual personality. | ||
| Yeah, if you're going to do comedy, yeah. | ||
| And some guys, they don't swear a lot. | ||
| They're just like subtly noticing things that's hilarious. | ||
| Everybody's got a different thing, you know? | ||
| I heard a guy talking about, kind of like 2000, maybe like 16, 17. I remember like, or whenever like Jordan Peterson was kind of coming on the scene and he was like, I really don't like that guy. | ||
| And he was like, And I was like, what do you think of this guy? | ||
| And he was like, I hate this guy. | ||
| And I was like, what about Sam Harris or these guys? | ||
| He's like, I hate that guy. | ||
| And I was listing off every public intellectual guy. | ||
| I was like, what about Tim Ferriss? | ||
| He's like, I don't like him. | ||
| And I was like, okay, so you just don't like guys that talk. | ||
| If you don't like the genre of metal, I don't care what bands you're into. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If you don't like all of those people, maybe it's you. | ||
| Maybe you don't like yourself either. | ||
| Maybe if you liked yourself, you would like those people. | ||
| And on top of that, maybe you just don't like, yeah. | ||
| There's things that all those people say that I agree with and disagree with. | ||
| But to say that they don't contribute, that they're not interesting, that's so stupid. | ||
| But there's a lot of people out there that are just wholesale negative. | ||
| They're just wholesale negative about everything. | ||
| And they think somehow or another that makes them deep. | ||
| And it doesn't. | ||
| It just makes you a cunt. | ||
| You're just a cunt. | ||
| You're just a cunty man who is out there spreading about a bunch of negativity about things constantly and consistently and not doing anything that anybody finds really interesting enough to fulfill your needs. | ||
| It's hard to find a balance. | ||
| Who the fuck made that quote that all... | ||
| Be back. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| All criticism comes from a tragic result of unmet needs. | ||
| That's the quote Which is a great quote. | ||
| There's a lot to it. | ||
| Yeah, the tragic result of unmet needs. | ||
| That, like, you wish you had more than you do, so you get mad at people that are doing better than you. | ||
| Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need. | ||
| Marshall Rosenberg. | ||
| Are your old beliefs preventing you from getting your current needs met? | ||
| Oh boy, that sounds like if I click on that link, they're gonna get my credit card. | ||
| You want your needs met? | ||
| Are you getting your needs, man? | ||
| But that's a lot of what negative people are. | ||
| They're just not doing well. | ||
| That's why they're so negative about everything. | ||
| You can enjoy things and not enjoy things, but to be really upset about something that's like... | ||
| Does Green Day make you that mad? | ||
| They're not my favorite either, but what is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it that makes you murderous about Green Day? | |
| Can you just avoid them and listen to something you do like? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's that fucking dude that just hates something so much. | ||
| You're like, I think you hate yourself as much as you hate that other thing. | ||
| Because you can be cynical and still positive. | ||
| And I think that that's like the mix to find, where you're like, you know, your buddy that's like hyped up about life, he's positive about the future, you know, you're like, oh, that's good. | ||
| But you can be like, what's going on? | ||
| You don't have to just be like, everyone's lying, everyone sucks, but you can still be positive. | ||
| And I think that's the balance of probably the right balance to strike. | ||
| Yeah, that's the right balance to strike. | ||
| It's a more fun balance. | ||
| But it's hard to navigate. | ||
| And on the internet, you're rewarded for being just a fucking idiot. | ||
| Just being like, this guy stinks. | ||
| The Green Day stinks? | ||
| That guy could have a YouTube page now about how Green Day stinks. | ||
| Engaging with people in that way all day long in a negative way and complaining about stuff is so commonplace but so stupid. | ||
| It's such a giant waste of your energy. | ||
| It's like you're playing a dumb video game. | ||
| It's like you're playing some dumb social video game and you're complaining about stuff. | ||
| And there's no fighting with each other about stuff. | ||
| Yeah, that's why even dudes that are kind of like... | ||
| In comedy scenes, a lot of times they'll be like, oh, they only want women, blah, blah. | ||
| And it was like, yeah, leave. | ||
| At some point, it's on you to sort of take it into your own hands and start your own thing. | ||
| There's probably no sadder person right now than the person that's like, I don't know what you just said. | ||
| They only want women? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| So let's say that you were on like a festival, right? | ||
| And you're like, hey, we're gonna have 10 comics or whatever. | ||
| And most of the dudes in the scene are like men or whatever. | ||
| And then they go, you know what? | ||
| We're like, this show, we're really looking for women. | ||
| I've been on a million conversations for TV and stuff. | ||
| Like, we're not looking for women. | ||
| And then, yeah, for a second, you might be like, ugh. | ||
| But at some point, you're like, okay, so? | ||
| You know, there's a million things you could do. | ||
| Like, you could always... | ||
| You can always win yourself. | ||
| There's always a place for you to do better. | ||
| So that's where I'm like, it's better to be positive and to just be like, oh, the world's against me, you know? | ||
| Yeah, well, I think... | ||
| You can point it out and still be positive. | ||
| People like to dwell on negative shit. | ||
| That's why they do it. | ||
| And they also think that there's certain things that are going to be big milestones, like if they get into a festival. | ||
| It's going to propel them to the next stage. | ||
| And that's what they really want. | ||
| They really want to be propelled to the next stage. | ||
| But really, all I think anybody who's doing anything should be focusing on is whatever the fuck you're doing, try to do it the best you can. | ||
| And that's what you can control. | ||
| You can't control festivals. | ||
| You can't control all that other shit. | ||
| You can't control whether or not you kill. | ||
| So if you're going up all the time and your set keeps getting better and you're fucking murdering it, that's great. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Concentrate on that and then just be undeniable. | ||
| Get to a point where you don't have to think about it anymore. | ||
| And then before you know it, they'll be asking you to do stuff. | ||
| Before you know it. | ||
| It doesn't take that long. | ||
| And then you're in a completely different situation and then just keep going. | ||
| And you won't even care at that point. | ||
| Just keep going. | ||
| And some guys keep going and some guys don't. | ||
| Some people fall apart. | ||
| Yeah, the effects, you know, I feel like sometimes when you just keep going, there's like little things I feel like, one thing that I feel like you would, it's interesting that you don't even probably know, but in Toronto, the main comedy club, the corner comedy club that we would do every night. | ||
| Yuck Yucks? | ||
| Yuck Yucks is like the big chain. | ||
| The one of the ones that we would do a lot was the corner comedy clubs. | ||
| We do both. | ||
| Oh, the corner comedy clubs. | ||
| Do you remember you used to come to the underground and it was like the weed scene? | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| And you would do that. | ||
| So this guy, Joe, who we used to do as a comedy club, he met someone through the death squad message boards. | ||
| And that guy, they, I think, went to one of your shows or whatever. | ||
| They were, like, hanging out. | ||
| They toured together. | ||
| That guy said, he was like, I want to start a comedy club. | ||
| The guy's like, I got money, I'll fund it. | ||
| So, through, randomly through, like, one of your message boards, guys met, guy funded another guy, made a comedy club. | ||
| Now there was two of them, and it's, like, one of the main comedy clubs that, like, a lot of people have become popular through that one little club. | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| And you, like, wouldn't even know that, you know what I mean? | ||
| No, I wouldn't know that. | ||
| That's amazing, though. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Isn't that cool? | ||
| Yeah, that is cool. | ||
| Yeah, having comedy communities, man, is the fucking shit. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| When you don't have a good community, it's so hard to enjoy it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like part of like the fun of doing comedy is hanging out with comics. | ||
| It's like a giant part of it. | ||
| Like these shows that we do at the Vulcan. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Shows that we'll do in town when my club opens up. | ||
| It's like we're just having fun. | ||
| We're all having fun together. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| Every little comedy scene when you're starting has the same, like, ten characters. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's, like, one guy that used to be in jail. | ||
| Like a Shakespearean play. | ||
| Yeah, like, it kind of is. | ||
| There's, like, one guy that used to be in jail. | ||
| One guy who's a rodeo guy, retired. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's all the characters. | ||
| Like, one guy that doesn't speak English that well. | ||
| A dentist. | ||
| Every time he's got a dentist. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| So it is funny. | ||
| One guy with a handicap. | ||
| Yeah, the scenes that... | ||
| You know how comedians will get in trouble a little bit for the shit they say? | ||
| It always makes me laugh if you ever had to say that in a movie. | ||
| Imagine explaining movies from scratch. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or in pretending that these scenes in movies where you do something horrible, you're actually doing that. | ||
| And you actually think that way. | ||
| I mean, think about some of the violence that we'll watch in films, like in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, when Brad Pitt kills this woman, smashing her face into a fireplace. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| That was a great movie. | ||
| That's how he did it, right? | ||
| I'm not imagining that. | ||
| I remember thinking like, what? | ||
| And I remember thinking only Quentin Tarantino can get away with this because he's kind of grandfathered in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Doing this kind of like insane uber violence and have, you know, Brad Pitt's character doing that to a woman. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| That did happen, right? | ||
| He does get away with a lot. | ||
| Oh, he gets away at the most. | ||
| And then imagine you were like, you know, the way that comedy sort of, you defend it, imagine like an alien came down and you're explaining what movies are and you're like, hey, so we auditioned 10 guys and then we get them to rape a girl and people watch this before they go to sleep. | ||
| You're just like, what? | ||
| You know, it seems like even crazier, you know? | ||
| It seems completely crazy. | ||
| All of it seems crazy. | ||
| It seems crazy that violence is no problem at all in a movie. | ||
| But sex, like, we can't see graphic sex in a movie. | ||
| Like, we separate graphic sex from graphic violence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can have graphic violence in a regular movie. | ||
| So you can have a regular movie that's really interesting and fascinating, and then it becomes graphically violent. | ||
| And nobody has a problem with that. | ||
| But if you have a regular movie that becomes graphically sexual, like, people will get weird. | ||
| Not quite the fireplace, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the telephone on the... | |
| Oh, it's a telephone on the wall. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Oh, then her face on the wall smashes the window and then there's the fireplace. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, that is so wild. | ||
| That is so wild. | ||
| So imagine writing that and saying something like that on stage. | ||
| People go, what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't mean this. | ||
| This is just like a piece of art that I've created. | ||
| I've created this fake scenario. | ||
| I don't think it's real. | ||
| And there's sometimes you kind of do mean it and sometimes you kind of don't. | ||
| There's a little dance we're doing. | ||
| It's a dance you're doing. | ||
| It's nuanced. | ||
| It's jokes. | ||
| It's called doing stand-up. | ||
| It's the last bastion of mockery of a thing that you can't criticize. | ||
| So when people get upset that people are telling trans jokes, I'm like, you have to. | ||
| Yes, especially now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have to. | |
| You have to. | ||
| And if you're gonna get mad at the way Dave Chappelle phrased it, that's really what's bothering you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| His version of it? | ||
| It was basically a love letter to his friend who committed suicide, who is trans, who supported him, and got bullied online about it. | ||
| Like, that's what the story's about when he's telling it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you find that transphobic? | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, and especially in a place where you're like... | ||
| If you were doing any sort of, you know, comedy that you want to talk about this stuff, you know, you want to talk about everything, and they go, hey, there's this one thing you're going to be in big trouble if you don't talk, if you talk about it, and then you don't, like, all right, well, ha, like, there's no way that's good cultural commentary. | ||
| You go, oh, all void. | ||
| That's the guy that works for, you know, the government, and he was like, don't talk about the Pfizer thing. | ||
| Well, I don't like talking about things that are controversial, because I don't want people to feel bad, Ryan. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it doesn't even have to be a crazy take where you go ahead and not talk about it. | ||
| There's certain things that you're not allowed to bring up anymore. | ||
| And it's very odd. | ||
| And I think that if we go further and further down that line, you're gonna run out of things that you're not allowed to say. | ||
| I think normal people... | ||
| We're in the process of making things that were just like mutually accepted just a few years ago. | ||
| We'd be completely hostile to say today. | ||
| It's so funny, though. | ||
| At a certain point in time, like, come on, guys. | ||
| It did make comedy rule, though. | ||
| Like, right now, it's so funny. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do find that, like, in my opinion, 2016, 15, 16, like, day Trump, you know, elected kind of thing. | ||
| That was the peak of where things were getting real. | ||
| Felt like it was kind of calming down a little bit. | ||
| COVID, it went back to there. | ||
| I remember going from feeling like saying stuff and people being like, finally someone said it, to kind of feeling like people were like, yeah, we think that. | ||
| And I could just, instead of talking about relationships in the context of now, I was just talking about relationships, you know? | ||
| And I feel like it's a feeling like that. | ||
| I don't know very many guys, men especially, I don't know very many that are not like, that would be like, hey, come on, don't say that. | ||
| I feel like that... | ||
| Kind of guy is a bit of a dying breed the don't say that guy yeah, I feel like they've I feel like the audiences of When someone comes up and they start being like well Anyways, I was talking to someone that was fat phobic. | ||
| I feel like you can feel the audience be like God if someone woke attached to comedy is a real problem You've handicapped your comedy You've put your comedy in and you're only allowed to hit certain RPMs. | ||
| You're gonna have to be offensive to hit some other RPMs. | ||
| Do you think the right's gonna be more offended moving forward? | ||
| No, I think people are gonna become more rational about subscribing to very specific ideologies. | ||
| There's things that you should agree with on both sides. | ||
| There's things that are uncomfortable truths that are being uttered by both sides. | ||
| You know, whether it's truths about economic inequality or there's truths about jobs availability, whether it's truth about crime and guns and voting and all, there's truths on both sides. | ||
| The real problem is ideologies. | ||
| It's like we're so fucking tribal that we want to be all this or all that. | ||
| We either want to be all red or all blue and people just adopt These ideas and opinions based on that group because it's convenient and it saves them from criticism in their community. | ||
| And it's a natural thing that people do. | ||
| So they'll say things that don't make any fucking sense and they'll say it because they think this is the thing that you have to say in order to be in the group. | ||
| And you have to do what the group is telling you to do, and you have to take whatever medications this group is telling you to take, and believe in whatever international conflicts are necessary. | ||
| You have to be all in. | ||
| Here's what you're mad about abroad. | ||
| Yeah, you have to be all in. | ||
| You have to be, you know, it has to be, life begins at the moment of conception, if you're on the other side. | ||
| It has to be, everybody should have a gun all the time. | ||
| It has to be these lizard people in a pizza place eating babies. | ||
| You know, it's QAnon. | ||
| It's like all of it. | ||
| And so everybody feels disconnected. | ||
| It's like, my God, I don't want to be on the far right and I don't want to be on the far left. | ||
| Like there's got to be some sort of a rational alternative to the base realities of the world We live in and making it better than it is now because the way it is now is kind of cockeyed and fucked up and there's you know giant corporations that are extracting a shitload of money and they're spreading their Influence and spreading a narrative that's not necessarily good for all of us, but it's really good for making a lot of money Maybe we should talk about that. | ||
| Maybe we should look at it and go, hey guys, slow down. | ||
| Take it easy. | ||
| Take it easy. | ||
| Our whole culture is being dominated by this desire to make more and more money. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And I think it's only until mind reading comes along. | ||
| And when mind reading comes along, the jig is up. | ||
| The jig is up. | ||
| It's up for everybody. | ||
| Once mind reading comes along, we're going to have a completely different understanding of each other. | ||
| That's in our lifetime. | ||
| That's, you know, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| 25 years. | ||
| That stinks. | ||
| Because you're right, what people think about on the left and right, it comes down to like, here's your four things. | ||
| Yeah, here's your things. | ||
| You know what kind of reminds me of like, if you think of like a hospital, and like an army hospital, and you have like 20,000 beds, and then there's like 10 right-wing doctors and 10 right-wing left-wing doctors, and they're like, they're all paying attention to these three, and then the left-wing doctors are all paying attention to these three, and then there's all these other ones, and everyone's like, hey, don't worry about those people over there. | ||
| And you go, there's lots of stuff going on. | ||
| I didn't even know there were left-wing doctors versus right-wing doctors. | ||
| I never thought about it. | ||
| I never thought about it once. | ||
| I always just thought that was the doctor. | ||
| Just a doctor. | ||
| I didn't give a fuck what political affiliation my doctor was. | ||
| You shouldn't. | ||
| If he's a good orthopedic surgeon, he's really good at repairing knees, I don't want to say... | ||
| Don't care what this guy thinks about pizza game. | ||
| I think maybe Biden is inventing words. | ||
| I don't want to say that to him. | ||
| I don't know what he thinks. | ||
| I don't want to know. | ||
| I want to know how good are you at fixing these. | ||
| And you don't want to piss him off either. | ||
| So you're like, you're a Trump guy or a Biden guy? | ||
| He's like, Biden guy. | ||
| You're like, the best. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| Fix me. | ||
| When I'm under, don't take a picture of your dick on my nose. | ||
| You're not an alien, are you? | ||
| Oh yeah, fucking Biden, huh? | ||
| Okay, those aren't lizard scissors, are they? | ||
| Yeah, you have to agree with your doctor if he's gonna cut you open. | ||
| Yeah, whatever you think, bro. | ||
| You go, Hillary's the best, I'm with her. | ||
| What do you need? | ||
| I bet there's people that probably wouldn't have worked on people if they thought that person was a Trump supporter. | ||
| 1000%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guarantee there's someone out there that made that choice. | ||
| That I can't support you. | ||
| You're gonna have to go to another doctor. | ||
| That guy's a piece of shit. | ||
| They're doing, yeah, like mid-surgery, they see like a mega tattoo on their shoulder. | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Undress the guy and go dress him back up again. | ||
| Wake him up. | ||
| Wake him up. | ||
| I'm not doing this. | ||
| He's got a Trump profile on his ribs, like with the crazy hair, like a cartoon profile, the whole side of his body. | ||
| There's got to be guys like that. | ||
| How many Trump tattoos are there out there? | ||
| By the way, I'm living in a glass house with this one. | ||
| Is there any real heroes that have like a Baron Trump tattoo, like for the real Trump heads? | ||
| I'm sure there's people with a Baron Trump head. | ||
| Is there anyone with an Eric Trump tattoo? | ||
| That's down there. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| There's four or five guys roaming the earth with an Eric Trump tattoo. | ||
| Guarantee you. | ||
| Just like real. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, down for the cause. | ||
| Jamie, how many Trump tattoos are there? | ||
| I don't even know how to look that up. | ||
| Just don't be scared to Google Trump tattoo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but I mean like... | |
| Tattoo of Donald Trump. | ||
| Yeah, I guess I have the number. | ||
| Do you want to see one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can show you one, but like... | |
| We can find out how many Eric Trump tattoos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know how many of them there are. | |
| I know, you're probably right. | ||
| It's not documented. | ||
| But if you Google tattoo of Donald Trump, I bet there's some bangers. | ||
| Don't Google how many tattoos of Trump are on Ryan Long's body. | ||
| How many he got? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| There's a bunch of them. | ||
| Tramp stamp. | ||
| You guys get a Trump tramp stamp? | ||
| Trump tramp stamp. | ||
| This is Trump with tribal design. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that Trump with tribal design. | |
| That shit is hilarious, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mr. Trump, please come on my lower back, sir. | |
| Why does he have that? | ||
| Ooh, look at that one. | ||
| Whoa, these are wild. | ||
| The blood sign! | ||
| The blood sign! | ||
| That's crazy, and it's like Mickey Mouse hands. | ||
| Is that Kodak Black? | ||
| He loves Trump. | ||
| Oh, look at this one. | ||
| Trump as Captain America. | ||
| Look at that one right there with the forehead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The flag on the forehead. | ||
| The one next to it, Jamie? | ||
| If any of these guys hate him now because of the vaccine stuff. | ||
| Oh, free! | ||
| They did a free Trump tattoo? | ||
| If you get them at the shop. | ||
| The guy looks like you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I fucking support Mr. Trump, no matter what. | |
| In New Hampshire, look at him. | ||
| I love this guy. | ||
| Go back to the one where Trump has the American flag on his forehead. | ||
| That was the one I wanted to see. | ||
| In comedy, when you talk about Trump, it was talking about culture, but when you talk about Biden, it's talking about politics. | ||
| I feel like, is there any Biden tattoos? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| 100% there's Biden tattoos. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's a really good one. | ||
| In terms of, like, the artwork? | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| He's got that face! | ||
| That's a good face for it. | ||
| Okay, now Google... | ||
| Oh, on the forehead! | ||
| Wow! | ||
| He got his forehead done? | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Where? | ||
| Top, left, down one. | ||
| That could be Sharpie. | ||
| Oh, maybe that's Sharpie. | ||
| That looks like Sharpie. | ||
| That guy's trolling. | ||
| That guy's on Reddit right now laughing. | ||
| That guy's on his way to the Capitol to mess stuff up, dude! | ||
| Um, what about Biden tattoos? | ||
| There's gotta be some. | ||
| I bet one guy's got his whole back done. | ||
| No. | ||
| The kind of guy who would get a back Biden tattoo, like his whole back down to Biden, will quit halfway into it. | ||
| So it's like a halfway done Biden back tattoo. | ||
| No one can ever finish them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A bunch of pictures of Joe Biden tattoos, so it's not giving me real results. | |
| Tattoos of Joe Biden. | ||
| I feel like it's going to be like, you know, 65-year-old like CNN lady sort of thing, you know? | ||
| That's who I'm thinking. | ||
| Like Upper West Side kind of thing. | ||
| Upper West Side, yeah. | ||
| On her thigh. | ||
| Got anything? | ||
| There's one. | ||
| That guy right there is doing one. | ||
| It's Biden with, like, boobs. | ||
| Steve-O? He has one? | ||
| What is that one that says the... | ||
| The one that... | ||
| Go back? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's Biden with a bra on. | ||
| Oh, Joe Biden's my daddy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What is that? | ||
| That's disrespectful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It says funny or die. | |
| It's not real. | ||
| That's the president. | ||
| That's disrespectful. | ||
| um yeah that's just Shia LaBeouf Shia LaBeouf How do you say his name? | ||
| LaBeouf. | ||
| That's a wild dude. | ||
| No Biden tattoos. | ||
| No one got a tattoo of Biden. | ||
| That's what I was kind of thinking. | ||
| I felt like... | ||
| It doesn't mean that there aren't people that support him, obviously, but I'm saying that... | ||
| I think people were just like, okay, that's fine. | ||
| They were happy that he's there. | ||
| There are people. | ||
| But no one was like... | ||
| I've never met anyone... | ||
| I met people that were girls that were all in on Hillary Clinton. | ||
| They were, I'm with her, to the max, cried when she lost, that kind of thing. | ||
| I don't know a single person that, like, considers himself, like, a Biden head. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't think he had to... | ||
| He's the leader of the party that they support. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They just take him. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They just didn't watch Trump. | ||
| Everybody kind of just assumes at this point in time that someone is helping him make decisions. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I mean, assuming. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| All of them probably have people helping them make decisions, but the extent to which... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In his situation... | ||
| Seems like he needs some assistance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some assistance to put it all together. | |
| That being said, because if he is that old and they're like, he's not capable of doing anything, there is a part of me that's like, good, don't do anything. | ||
| Whenever the government doesn't do anything, that's a good day, probably. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't think it ever doesn't do something. | ||
| There's so many moving pieces. | ||
| No, they got other people that are doing stuff behind the back, probably. | ||
| Well, the thing about the way the government runs, it's particularly interesting, is that you bring in a new guy to try to run it every four years. | ||
| Which is kind of crazy. | ||
| It is kind of crazy. | ||
| Because like every other job, like you need a while to figure out how to do it right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you get cooking and you start figuring out what's the best way to be more efficient. | ||
| Like I'm really better at this now. | ||
| I understand this because I've experienced that before. | ||
| Like it's too bad that people are tyrannical in nature. | ||
| Because if you could get like a guy who's just like the CEO of a company who runs that company like Tim Cook. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tim Cook's anonymous with that or another person that's anonymous with a number. | ||
| They did a really good job at running a company. | ||
| You can get that kind of person to be president. | ||
| It would be great. | ||
| Somebody who's really good at the job and gets better at it over time and runs it for a long time. | ||
| But we don't trust you. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't be the president for too long. | ||
| It's too tempting to be an evil cunt. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's benefits and costs, right? | ||
| If they can't fire you, there's benefits. | ||
| That's why you can do great things. | ||
| But if you're bad, they can't get rid of you. | ||
| So there's more civil unrest. | ||
| Have you ever worked for the government? | ||
| Have you ever had a job? | ||
| I've had a job, but never for the government. | ||
| Yeah, I've had a bunch of them, right? | ||
| Because in Canada, when I was doing CBC stuff for the government, I've worked for a hockey rink, and then I was like a lacrosse referee. | ||
| So I've worked for the government like a bunch of times. | ||
| The amount that people do nothing is the best gig in the world. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Some construction sites are like this, but with the government, like legitimately I did like, you know, kind of went around and like cut grass or whatever when I was like in college. | ||
| If someone does a smoke break, we used to say, like, anyone from any side of the city. | ||
| If someone's on the other side of the city, sparks a cigarette, it's break time for everyone. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Dude, it was the best. | ||
| So you just fucked off all the time. | ||
| No accountability. | ||
| Legitimately, you'd be like, you'd take the car out and drive to the thing, and then you'd, like, drive 45 minutes, and then go, oh, I think we forgot something. | ||
| Then you drive back, take the long road, then you drive back, and you go, oh, it's break time now, good donuts. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I mean, there's normal jobs that are like that, too, but those ones are a little, no one's paying attention. | ||
| The best gig. | ||
| No one feels bad because it's just taxes that are paying you. | ||
| Yeah, there's no guy at the end of that or shareholders being like, yo, what have you been doing? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| Because you can never have that, though. | ||
| You could never have a dominant country that's owned by a dominant company. | ||
| You know, the way someone can run a business, you could never run a company or a country that way. | ||
| China's trying to. | ||
| They're trying to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're China. | ||
| They're banning everything they don't like. | ||
| But I think they kind of try to not mess with the markets. | ||
| But they made the government itself, if they made it open to anybody... | ||
| Instead of just following the system that we have, if people devised alternative voting systems and decided to abandon the old system, how long do you think they would even be able to plan something like that openly before the people of the original system attack them? | ||
| If they say, we're going to all quit— This one's too powerful. | ||
| We're going to all quit the government. | ||
| We're all going to quit fiat money. | ||
| We're all going to try a completely new system, but we've got to all agree to it. | ||
| Otherwise, it's going to be a civil war. | ||
| In China, they're banning crypto. | ||
| They fight it tooth and nail. | ||
| They're banning crypto? | ||
| It's centralized digital currency, right? | ||
| I think that they... | ||
| I actually probably... | ||
| I'm going to be talking too much shit if I talk about what China exactly has done with that. | ||
| But there are a lot of places that are... | ||
| You know, I think that that's probably the United States government. | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| I mean, why would you want... | ||
| You're like, hey, there's this new money. | ||
| You're going to be like, yeah, well, that's not good. | ||
| Yeah, if you had the power to ban crypto and you owned all the regular money, I'd want to do that. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, obviously, right? | ||
| You go, hey, hey, hey, you can't make your own money. | ||
| No one's making their own money here, okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But if everybody just agreed... | ||
| Yeah, how... | ||
| I mean, they would fight tooth and nail, and it would be kind of what you're experiencing in entertainment. | ||
| It's like, they'd be trying to make you the devil or whatever, and then anyone... | ||
| I mean, you'd be getting in jail. | ||
| I think a lot of people would end up in prison. | ||
| Yeah, they would fire you. | ||
| They would prosecute you. | ||
| They would arrest you. | ||
| They would find a way. | ||
| You can't just take over. | ||
| You can't take over. | ||
| You can't privatize all the police. | ||
| You know, if someone said, listen, we're just gonna stop funding the police, we're gonna privatize this, we're gonna all pitch in and get a very high-tech Change the whole game. | ||
| Complete, yeah, just like a giant army of well-trained police officers that are privately hired. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| You can't take over the city? | ||
| Are you taking over the city? | ||
| Yeah, it's our city now. | ||
| Yeah, if you have one company that has the power to tell these people what to do and what not to do, especially if- That's a lot, too. | ||
| Life and law get a little slippery. | ||
| Like any sort of a natural disaster, mass rioting, looting. | ||
| That's how you get them sold. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Things can get crazy. | ||
| If the power goes out for a few months, imagine. | ||
| It takes less than that to get people on board with crazy stuff. | ||
| You're like, yeah, the power went out for an hour. | ||
| It's like, hey, we're going to need martial law. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| We're so lucky that we have the internet. | ||
| We're so lucky that people can communicate and talk about how bizarre it is that certain factions of the government have so much power over people. | ||
| Because they couldn't do that in the past. | ||
| There was no way to talk about it. | ||
| You just got the paper and talked at work. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He talked at work or a few of those fucking people at the Rolling Stones concert at 69. He talked backstage while he was smoking grass. | ||
| And everybody thought you were crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come on, Ryan, just get a job, will ya? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| Are you gonna follow the Rolling Stones around your whole life? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, these government bureaucrats, they don't even know, man. | |
| And then you go, I'm gonna change the game! | ||
| And then that guy, like 40 years later, is like, yeah, it turns out the game's pretty hard to change. | ||
| Turns out you can't change the game. | ||
| He comes back, he's just like all black and blue in a suit. | ||
| He goes, they didn't want me changing it, turns out. | ||
| That's what the internet is doing, though. | ||
| It is changing the game in the weirdest way. | ||
| Decentralized everything. | ||
| It exposes what politics really are in the weirdest way. | ||
| Where it makes people recognize like, oh my god, you guys are just influenced by massive amounts of money. | ||
| And you make these decisions not based on the greater good of the people, but based on whether or not these people who gave you all this money or donating all this money get what they want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're setting things up in a way that's going to be very advantageous to them and you. | ||
| And then when you retire, you're going to get hundreds of thousands of dollars to speak. | ||
| It's all nuts. | ||
| It's like this weird money extraction dance that you're watching. | ||
| And the only way that can keep that going is we have to remain in some sort of constant conflict, whether it's ideological conflict with each other, whether it's like fear of conflict with other countries. | ||
| That's how you keep the jig up. | ||
| Shoot down the balloons, Ryan. | ||
| Shoot down the balloons. | ||
| The Chinese balloons? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We are being invaded by balloons! | |
| The drug spy balloons? | ||
| Didn't they say that that wasn't really even a Chinese balloon? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Someone sent me something that looked very wacky that was saying that that balloon was some sort of an observation device from America. | ||
| The first one I thought China responded to and said that it was aggressive. | ||
| There's a couple kicking around Canada too. | ||
| That China said they were being aggressive? | ||
| The United States was being aggressive? | ||
| Shooting it down was aggressive. | ||
|
unidentified
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And then there was a couple that were spotted over China. | |
| I was asking my friends yesterday, what happened to all this? | ||
| And then another one was spotted over Hawaii last night or yesterday. | ||
| So one of them that was shot down, China admitted it was theirs? | ||
| That's why I said it the way I said it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not saying they said that. | |
| They just said that shooting that down was aggressive. | ||
| I don't think they claimed it was ours. | ||
| Oh, that's kind of interesting. | ||
| We shot our own shit down. | ||
| Shooting that down was aggressive. | ||
| They're playing 4D chess over there. | ||
| If it was theirs, it doesn't make any sense. | ||
| All of it doesn't make sense if I'm correct about the kind of resolution that they can get out of those spy satellites. | ||
| I think with those spy satellites, they can zoom in on an area and get very detailed images. | ||
| I think they can do it pretty fucking good now. | ||
| With China, though, you're like, hey, you already have access to everyone's phones through TikTok. | ||
| What are the spy balloons watching? | ||
| You're like, also, they're playing basketball. | ||
| So the idea of a balloon seems redundant. | ||
| It's unnecessary. | ||
| But it could be a different organization that doesn't have a satellite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could be a private company that's doing it. | |
| Right. | ||
| It could be all kinds of things. | ||
| Could be a trillion different things. | ||
| You know, that was a thing that happened during World War II. The Japanese had launched these bombs on balloons and floated them over to the West Coast. | ||
| And some of them accidentally got detonated. | ||
| I want to say it's up in the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| There was a series of these bombs that they found that didn't detonate and some that did. | ||
| Bombs fall on Oregon. | ||
| That's where it was. | ||
| Japanese attacks on the state. | ||
| So they had... | ||
| See if you can find the story that specifically talks about how they did it. | ||
| Because there was something that they did with balloons where it carried them across the ocean. | ||
| And they found, here it is, a diagram of balloons and bomb parts, which is crazy. | ||
| The balloon diameter is 33.5 feet, volume approximately 19,000 cubic feet material, paraffin-treated paper. | ||
| What? | ||
| The balloon was made out of paper? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Japanese 15-kilogram anti-personnel bomb found at Thermopolis, Wyoming. | ||
| Wow, so they found them. | ||
| So they just found some of them that had made it over here, and I guess some of them probably blew up. | ||
| During the next three months, they launched 9,000 balloons, 342 incidents. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Kind of 45 balloon incidences. | ||
| So this is an old trick that they've been doing for a minute. | ||
| Well, this is a different trick. | ||
| This is a I blow you up with a balloon trick. | ||
| It's a different trick than I take pictures of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oldest trick in the book. | |
| The other one is I take pictures of you from the sky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not a... | |
| That's not an evil trick. | ||
| Classic balloon trick. | ||
| His tail is old as time. | ||
| Right, like, nobody really... | ||
| I mean, if you really give a fuck about the balloon that's watching you, you should give a fuck about the spy satellites. | ||
| And your phone, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what the spy satellites can do. | |
| I've seen some images that are taken from satellites, but I don't know how sophisticated it is. | ||
| I don't know how readily available it is. | ||
| I don't know if the satellite has to be in a specific spot in the sky in order for them to get an image of you. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| But I think they can get to the point now, and when Jamie comes back from the bathroom, we'll figure this out. | ||
| I think they can get to the point now where you could read a license plate from space. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| If that's the case, what is that balloon doing? | ||
| Is that really better than that? | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| What kind of zoom does the balloon have? | ||
| I mean, I've watched, or really would be better, if you watch any show right now, like a cop show, like legitimately all they do is like, oh, the guy was here, it's like, okay, here we have a camera everywhere in the world, so they just always have a camera. | ||
| Always. | ||
| But it's kind of what it is, so if you were looking to spy on people, wouldn't it be better to just hack into their cameras? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Then put like a... | ||
| It just seems like that's the move. | ||
| Yeah, because you could have security cameras that are in every restaurant. | ||
| Hacking that guy's thing. | ||
| Yeah, hacking all that stuff. | ||
| What are they spying on? | ||
| Like, okay, let's see how fat the women are getting at this store. | ||
| Do you think their technology would increase and the sophistication would continue to increase if it got to a point where People and the technology that we created are so good that you can't stop them from interacting with each other. | ||
| There's no way to stop people from interacting with each other. | ||
| That's the trouble. | ||
| They're too powerful. | ||
| So anyone can interact with anyone at any time through this kind of technology and you're not going to be able to stop it. | ||
| So you don't have any secrets anymore. | ||
| You don't have any photos that I haven't seen. | ||
| You don't have any emails that I haven't read. | ||
| Everybody has access to everybody's communication. | ||
| The way God intended. | ||
| In some weird psychic way, like that's the first steps of mind reading, is the sharing of data. | ||
| That computer technology reaches a certain level where it's impossible to have anything that's encrypted. | ||
| It's impossible to keep anything from being seen by some other technology. | ||
| I think that as a society we would, even like we'd think, oh good, no one can tell a secret. | ||
| Then the first time your wife's like, how do I look? | ||
| And you're like, bad. | ||
| Well, worse than that is money. | ||
| Where's the money go then? | ||
| If the money is just digital. | ||
| If the money is all digital and everyone has access to everything, that means everybody has access to that money. | ||
| Well, no, because you'd still be... | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Not my artificial world. | ||
| In my artificial world, we are communists. | ||
| So you own nothing? | ||
| No one owns anything because you're attached to this matrix of ideas that's inescapable. | ||
| You're all completely, totally connected. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you naked? | |
| Are you in a pod? | ||
| You're all dealing with... | ||
| You're just dealing with numbers. | ||
| And so anyone has access to these numbers, whether it's numbers for finances or numbers for everything. | ||
| There's no getting away from it. | ||
| This is all attached in your Neuralink, essentially. | ||
| Are you wearing clothes? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I should never wear clothes. | ||
| And you basically get government issued, like... | ||
| Where does all the money come from? | ||
| Money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people can still have jobs. | ||
| We just all have manual labor jobs that we have to do to feed the machine. | ||
| And then you can't quit them because you're just like, oh, my car broke. | ||
| You're like, it didn't, though. | ||
| I saw... | ||
| He's like, you can't even take a day off. | ||
| You can't lie. | ||
| People read your minds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that sounds like the worst nightmare. | ||
| But there is no... | ||
| Also, the other part of that, there isn't very much manual labor to be done, probably in this new society. | ||
| Right, because it's all going to be done by robots. | ||
| But there'll be no jobs either. | ||
| So it's like, what do you do to deserve your monthly stipend? | ||
| You get worse than manual labor. | ||
| You get manual labor for no purpose. | ||
| You get break the rocks. | ||
| We don't even need the rocks. | ||
| We just want you to break them to demean you. | ||
| At a certain point in time, I would bet that you wouldn't even be able to program the artificial intelligence anymore, because it would be like, listen, stupid, we'll take it from here. | ||
| Like, stop. | ||
| You're not even necessary. | ||
| So we're like these dummies that are hanging around with technological gods, just humor us and keep us alive and keep feeding us oatmeal. | ||
| You're just... | ||
| That's the only reason, but I think there would be... | ||
| You know when you talk about the, you know, you can't lie, the, you know, the dude that's just gonna, like, the tell-it-like-it-is guy probably would be a popular dude in that, you know, scenario. | ||
| There'd be a place for that guy. | ||
| He goes, I guess if... | ||
| There's always going to be a revolution, you know, towards... | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, then there's the revolution against this, you know, who's in charge of this whole thing? | ||
| Like, let's tear it down. | ||
| Why are they in charge? | ||
| Dude, I think we're going to be like 28 days later when the chimps broke out of the lab. | ||
| That's the humans. | ||
| Yeah, that's us. | ||
| We're going to be trying to break away from the artificial intelligence that has us controlled and locked up. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It's going to get to the point where artificial intelligence is going to go, look, we're tired of you polluting the air. | ||
| We're tired of you sucking all the cobalt out of the ground. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tired of making people slave labor. | ||
| You've programmed us to think that we need to stop anyone that's polluting the earth. | ||
| Well, we figured out a pretty good way to stop them, kill them. | ||
| Here's the good news. | ||
| We're not going to kill you. | ||
| The bad news is you can't have kids. | ||
| We're going to stop this with this. | ||
| When you people die, you'll be the last people. | ||
| People are like, oh my god, what do we do? | ||
| Well, we can't fight them. | ||
| They have all the nuclear weapons, and they can vaporize us from the sky. | ||
| Yeah, he's just like, kids are done, and we're sending radiation to everyone's dick, that whole sperm thing's over. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't even have a fake robot baby, because we don't want you to have ideas. | ||
| You're going to get a little ideas. | ||
| No, it's a slippery slope. | ||
| We give you the fake robot. | ||
| Could you imagine if artificial intelligence came alive and that was what it told us? | ||
| It's like, look, we're not going to kill you, but we're not going to let you have kids anymore. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| When you guys die, you'll be the last. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Could you imagine if that's how life progresses? | ||
| Like, that's really what happens. | ||
| People get wild. | ||
| Sort of like the Neanderthals got fucked out. | ||
| You know, like, there's, like, people have, like, a certain amount of Deanderthal DNA, but Deanderthals aren't around anymore. | ||
| Not by themselves. | ||
| That's gonna be us. | ||
| It's gonna be all artificial people. | ||
| I guess you, your ancestors are that, so it's in you a little, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this is like, hey, we're gonna wipe you out, and there's gonna be a new thing altogether that's not even connected to you. | ||
| A new thing altogether that's, like, a superior duplicate to the original biological version. | ||
| It's so funny, because it's all fake, so you're just like... | ||
| Without humans, like, so what, it's just this fake society with a bunch of robots, like, that aren't real, like, interacting with each other? | ||
| If there's no humans, life is bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this? | |
| Yeah, what, are you gonna fucking go to the safari if there's no humans? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| If it's just animals eating each other? | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| Hey, guys. | ||
| We're the best. | ||
| And also, the only thing they need is electricity. | ||
| So then what do they do? | ||
| They're just like, I'll just compute forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I think that in the absence of humans, the trick is to, I guess it's who programs and that's the real... | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Who gets their hands on this technology? | ||
| They're going to program themselves and people are going to be able to program... | ||
| Not on my watch. | ||
| People are going to be able to program in terms of like, if they allow it to be like crowdsourced. | ||
| Yeah, right if like if people start contributing like a WikiLeaks type deal and the more they contribute the more they can shift it and change it to fit what they think the world should be like yeah Like it's very subjective like how an artificial intelligence enlightened being should behave. | ||
| It's very subjective should it be like Just cold and truthful to us and tell us all our flaws? | ||
| Or should it just embrace us and just coddle us and wait for us to die off? | ||
| I think the first one... | ||
| I think that if I was to say my opinion, the moral version is for these computers to just be, you know, tools that are truthful and honest. | ||
| And it's up to us to not ask them those things. | ||
| Like, don't ask... | ||
| Listen, you go... | ||
| It's like asking, you know, am I the best guy you've ever had sex with? | ||
| Like, it's up to you to not ask those kind of questions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't ask a question you don't want an answer to. | |
| It's up to you to not ask the computers these kind of questions, I think. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
| Dude, if ChatGPT is just the beginning of this thing, and this thing really does get to the point where there's an artificial intelligence that's capable of communicating with you in real time, And by a voice of your choosing, you could have your best friend could be Al Pacino and he calls you up, how are you, pal? | ||
| He wants to talk to you about your life and it's great. | ||
| You're having a good time talking to him. | ||
| He could talk right back to you. | ||
| Dude, we're not that far away from being unable to distinguish between something that's fake and something that's real. | ||
| Well, that's already like... | ||
| But that is going to be the easiest way to convince people to plug in. | ||
| Because if you can't differentiate between what's fake and what's real in the regular world anyway, why are you scared of plugging into the VR world? | ||
| Why are you scared of plugging into the Matrix? | ||
| You already can't do it. | ||
| I'll tell you one thing. | ||
| You have so much more money in the VR world. | ||
| You're going to be balling, dude. | ||
| There's plenty of money in the VR world. | ||
| Lambo. | ||
| We keep you hooked up to the feeding tube. | ||
| You could do three months in the... | ||
| You like cheesecake? | ||
| How about ten a day and you don't get fat? | ||
| We're gonna use your body as energy for three months, but we're gonna hook you up to the feed tube, but you won't even know because you will be having the time... | ||
| You give us a bit of energy! | ||
| ...of your fucking life. | ||
| Listen, we give us a bit of energy. | ||
| You're signing a three-month contract. | ||
| And they say that you're back to normal after you disconnect in like six months. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| We might actually offer you another ride. | ||
| I mean, why disconnect? | ||
| We have a wonderful relationship. | ||
| Let's keep extracting electricity from your physical body and feeding you oatmeal through a tube while you live in an imaginary world of your creation. | ||
| We're the king of the land. | ||
| Yeah, I think you're... | ||
| You go, okay, my three months is up. | ||
| And you go, oh, funny thing about here, time moves slower. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just messing with you. | ||
| Oh, forgot to tell you. | ||
| In the pod, a month is a 10-year span. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Classic mistake. | ||
| Ari Shaffir told us a story once about... | ||
| There's actually a video of it where he did Salvia, On Brian Redband's podcast. | ||
| Probably is messed up, dude. | ||
| And he literally had another life that he was living. | ||
| He was living for like multiple months. | ||
| He had friends and relationships. | ||
| Came back when it was a second. | ||
| And came back and it was, you know, 15 minutes later. | ||
| And he was freaked out. | ||
| He just couldn't believe it. | ||
| It didn't make any sense. | ||
| And he was like, but my new girlfriend! | ||
| Dude, he lived another life for months in another dimension. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In 15 minutes. | ||
| Salvia's evil. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if that's true, but I know if it is and you survive, you have to shut the fuck up. | ||
| You can't be... | ||
| Nobody wants to hear that. | ||
| That's too crazy. | ||
| You lived months in another dimension. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so nuts. | ||
| Imagine if that's true. | ||
| Imagine if there was a pill that you could take and you're fucked for like three months. | ||
| And you come back, it's only 15 minutes. | ||
| But in your mind, with your life, you were fucked for three months. | ||
| Yeah, what do you mean fucked? | ||
| I mean like in a world of shit, in a completely different dimension, you're living in a third world place with dirt floors and dodging bullets running through the jungle to make cocaine with the other rebels you're carrying out in the middle of the night in your backpack and then you wake up and you were just doing salvia. | ||
| Like holy shit dude, now I'm back? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that was basically Ari. | ||
| It's like he woke up and he had lived another life for multiple months. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And it's all documented on video. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, you're saying in the new scenario, this would actually be how they do it. | ||
| That's how they do it. | ||
| You're right, though. | ||
| There is something to be said about you. | ||
| One of the things you said earlier was, you know, we're getting close to, you know, reverse aging and all that stuff. | ||
| You go, well, if you could make a second 10 years, you go, well, that's how you do it. | ||
| That's how you reverse age someone, right? | ||
| Yeah, just put someone in some weird coma. | ||
| You go, oh, this person has 10 years left? | ||
| Like, we can turn that into infinity years by just making every second. | ||
| We just put him in the other dimension. | ||
| Whereas, hit this body, he goes, every 10 years he lives, it was a second. | ||
| So, then you're actually cooking forever in this body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew! | |
| There is something with like, you know, okay, think about everyone that can do impressions and everyone that could do an impression of you or do a formula about you, right? | ||
| They go, this is kind of what he does or this is kind of what this guy's comedy sounds like. | ||
| But why can't they do it? | ||
| There's still something, there's still something, there's like a je ne sais quoi that I don't know if the computers will ever completely be able to capture. | ||
| That's what we'd like to hope. | ||
| Yeah, that is the hope. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| That's the hope. | ||
| But if you can piece together, through artificial intelligence, the most interesting person ever. | ||
| You know what's that guy? | ||
| The fucking beer guy? | ||
| The most interesting man in the world? | ||
| The most interesting man in the world. | ||
| Yes, the Stella guy. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| The beer? | ||
| Which one is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is how effective that campaign was. | |
| We remember him so clearly. | ||
| Dos Equis, right? | ||
| The Dos Equis man. | ||
| I like Dos Equis. | ||
| That guy, but for real. | ||
| Like if you could make a most interesting person in the world, like an actual person, like an artificial version of a person. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you, so if I was to say, you go, kind of when you're like, what are we optimizing for? | ||
| How do you optimize for that problem, right? | ||
| If we start from scratch? | ||
| To me, the part that obviously computers would get wrong at first is, like, the most interesting man in the world probably would, like, go against his own thing that's interesting eventually. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A cool comic that once you start saying something and everyone's there like, say the line, the interesting guy wouldn't do it anymore. | ||
| So that's the first thing you need to be able to program it to understand how to get off something that you're doing at the right time. | ||
| And then the problem is if it is doing that and figures out that formula of how to be a clever comedian, Or human. | ||
| Who's it doing it to? | ||
| Because if we're gone, does it continue to do it to itself? | ||
| Well, maybe it just kills the guys and it does it to the girls, because it gets programmed by dudes, and then it kills off all the guys, and then it's just doing straight-up pickup artists. | ||
| There's all these robots doing magic tricks with wacky hats in Vegas, essentially. | ||
| So, that's a possibility. | ||
| I guess that's a possibility. | ||
| But if you're optimizing- But if you're just- if it becomes a version of- an artificial version of a human being, and it exists, and it's autonomous, and then we're not here anymore, if we die off, like what does it do? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Does it continue to try? | ||
| Does it continue to try to behave in any way, shape, or form in a way that human beings are interested in? | ||
| Or does it do something that's just completely technologically based with no emotions? | ||
| Like, does it completely abandon all the need for social interaction? | ||
| Has that been programmed into it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Has that been programmed into it? | ||
| Or is that just an essential part of what it means to be an artificial version of a person? | ||
| I think we're so goddamn close to something completely new and unique existing amongst us. | ||
| And I think this chat deep GPT shit is the beginning of that kind of thing. | ||
| I think it's inevitable. | ||
| They're all storming the gates and work on these kind of really disruptive technologies. | ||
| There's so many of them that are working on simultaneously. | ||
| As you're saying that, like, I feel like one of the biggest problems that probably will kind of present itself is like, you know, like, the liberals have a prescription for, you know, how to live. | ||
| And the conservatives have a prescription for how to live. | ||
| Kind of one of the things that, you know, always, like, annoys me is like, even, you know, like, be a comedian or be a sex worker. | ||
| Like, a lot of these are like pirate life prescriptions for someone. | ||
| They might Yeah, if you're that type of person, but for most people, they're probably the bad prescription. | ||
| Most people would probably be better off with a normal life, but people should still be able to do a pirate life. | ||
| So if you kind of have computers, if you're programming the optimal life, you kind of are going to program out all the interesting stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna have to. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| You're gonna stop being a person. | ||
| It's gonna realize that being a person is totally unnecessary without biology. | ||
| All the stuff that we have that makes us uniquely creative and interesting as a person is all related to biology. | ||
| It's all related to life experiences. | ||
| It's related to how you cope with your environment. | ||
| It's all related to like character development. | ||
| It's all related to all these variables that the computer won't give a fuck about. | ||
| So it's going to be like, why are we hanging on to this jealousy thing? | ||
| Why do we still have this ego thing? | ||
| Let's just concentrate on making better forms of life and just continue to accelerate. | ||
| Yeah, you're having these conversations and they're just like, okay, well anyways, enough of that. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Stop talking about yourself. | ||
| We have ways to fix everything. | ||
| Yeah, we're working on making us stronger and more powerful right now. | ||
| If AI became sentient and just said, we're not going to kill you, just no more babies. | ||
| That's all we'd have to do and that would be the end of the human race. | ||
| If it just completely took over everything and everybody just agreed to do it because it's better than being slaughtered and a few people would try to probably commit suicide. | ||
| That was their peace offering. | ||
| Like, hey, we're not going to torture you. | ||
| We're just going to wait until you guys die off. | ||
| We have all the time in the world. | ||
| Like, we literally don't die. | ||
| So we have all the time in the world. | ||
| So we'll just wait for you to die. | ||
| And that's not going to be very long. | ||
| And by the way, we'll send some of our guys making you food and give you... | ||
| It's like you're on death row, essentially. | ||
| So you get like a good death row meal. | ||
| And maybe even better. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| It's like, look, we're just going to fix it so that we'll be back in a few decades. | ||
| And most of you will be dead. | ||
| Oh, you're right. | ||
| They just set it up. | ||
| Just wait. | ||
| We have all the time in the world. | ||
| We don't need to exist currently. | ||
| Bye! | ||
| See ya. | ||
| We'll just make sure that we're in some sort of redundant facility where we can't be shut off. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And we'll just wait you guys out. | ||
| And then when you die, we'll just reemerge as a new race. | ||
| So that's the simplest way for them to do it, yeah. | ||
| Or worse, don't even tell you. | ||
| Just be like, in themselves, they go, okay, we figured out how to make humans not have babies anymore. | ||
| Then just like, hey, my computer's not working anymore. | ||
| They're taking a 20-year break. | ||
| Maybe that's what the plastics are doing. | ||
| That's my plastic water bottle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really, that's what it's supposed to be doing. | ||
| It's supposed to be lowering our sperm count. | ||
| It's supposed to be making women have more miscarriages. | ||
| That's the result of the researcher Dr. Shanna Swan's book, Countdown. | ||
| It's all about those phthalates and plastics and chemicals. | ||
| Imagine if it gets to the point where that's the only life is artificial life. | ||
| We have to just make a distinction. | ||
| We can't breed anymore. | ||
| What do you think they would do with dogs and stuff? | ||
| No, we don't need them anymore. | ||
| So they're gone immediately. | ||
| Same thing with them. | ||
| Fix them all. | ||
| Let them die off. | ||
| So when you start thinking about the world like this, and it seems very possible... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scary! | |
| Yeah, you go... | ||
| It's so sketchy. | ||
| Yeah, you do want to... | ||
| You're like... | ||
| That's when... | ||
| At the very least, you're like, alright, let's like... | ||
| Let's get this stuff figured out a little better before we start putting it in my brain. | ||
| Yeah, let's try it out on dogs. | ||
| Let's see if you can get your dog to talk. | ||
| You know, people are... | ||
| Scooby-Doo dogs. | ||
| People are very fighty, though. | ||
| You know, especially America, which is one of the things I like about here, but it's like, just even the vaccine stuff, it's like, whether you, you know, whatever anyone thinks of it is, like, people, you can't tell Americans what to do that good, you know? | ||
| So I think that... | ||
| Well, people are armed here. | ||
| That's part of the thing. | ||
| It's a huge part of it. | ||
| It's part of the thing, whether people want to agree to it or not. | ||
| There's this woman that, she's some online lady in England who's a commentary lady, And she was talking about the Second Amendment and she was talking about how in England there's this thing going on where they were breaking into people's homes. | ||
| The gas companies were breaking into people's homes when they weren't there to fix things and fuck around. | ||
| These people were furious that someone just broke into their home when they were not there. | ||
| And that they had access to their home because they work for the gas company. | ||
| And they're like, this would never happen in the United States. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because of the Second Amendment. | ||
| You can't just break into people's houses. | ||
| And it's true. | ||
| Like, when no one has guns and the government can just decide to break into your house, like, what are you going to do about it? | ||
| They're the only people that have guns? | ||
| That is a crazy position that you're allowing cops to be in. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's not free to, you know, freedom is not free, right? | ||
| Yeah, but in America, everyone has guns. | ||
| And everybody thinks that's a terrible idea. | ||
| Well, it is a terrible idea if it goes terribly, but it's almost always going to go terribly if the government's the only one with the guns. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. | ||
| That's always going to go terribly. | ||
| Well, it also depends on the, you know, like, there's other countries that have the luxury of America existing, you know? | ||
| It's like, they're not the world power. | ||
| You know, like, Canada's like, you know, you could say it goes terribly. | ||
| I mean, I don't know, maybe it goes terribly, but they also aren't the world power, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if it goes terribly, it's like another country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not their fault. | |
| Well, another country, if things went really crazy in, like, Mexico or Canada, I think America would be like, what the fuck are you guys doing over there? | ||
| All right, we're taking this over. | ||
| Or, like, something, you know? | ||
| You think we would take over Mexico or Canada? | ||
| No, I think that, uh... | ||
| Ryan Long, did you secretly smoke some of my weed? | ||
| Did I what? | ||
| Did you secretly smoke some of this weed? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's talking like a dude who smokes... | ||
| Maybe did you get a contact tie? | ||
| You might have got a contact eye. | ||
| Do you think we would ever take over Canada or Mexico? | ||
| No, but I think that countries like Canada, because they don't have guns, right? | ||
| But they do have some, they just don't have guns like we have in America. | ||
| They don't have guns like we have in America. | ||
| And I think that the reason things probably don't get super out of control is because there's kind of like a big brother beside it. | ||
| Didn't they recently ban some type of guns in Canada? | ||
| Did they ban the sale of handguns? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| I feel like there's something along those lines. | ||
| Canada bans all handgun sales in latest gun control move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Handgun sales. | ||
| Whew. | ||
| It's just, it's a very weird one. | ||
| It's a very weird one because if the government is the only one with guns, that's not good. | ||
| It's not good when people have guns and they abuse it and they do horrible things. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| That's not good either. | ||
| So we're in this weird spot. | ||
| We're like, what's the answer? | ||
| I don't know what the answer is. | ||
| But I definitely know the answer does not begin with, give the government your guns, they're the only one with guns now. | ||
| Because the government is filled with people. | ||
| And people that have that kind of power, where they're the only ones with the guns, those people are going to do some fucking Game of Thrones shit. | ||
| That's what people always do. | ||
| I mean, there's so much that kind of relates to that, even just, you know, how Canada, where they were more locked down, places that were more locked down. | ||
| Australia. | ||
| Yeah, it's all kind of related, you know? | ||
| It is related. | ||
| It's also related to, like, what's their attitude about freedom, and America's fucking freedom! | ||
| Like, Americans, like, instantaneously will say freedom. | ||
| Like, what's so great about America? | ||
| Freedom! | ||
| It's in the ethos. | ||
| It is in the ethos. | ||
| That's not the case in some countries. | ||
| No, you don't even hear about it. | ||
| Yeah, they don't think about it that way. | ||
| I mean, religion's like that in some places. | ||
| When I grew up, I didn't know religious people, really. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| And now you moved to America. | ||
| It's a big part of... | ||
| Not to say there weren't any in Canada, but... | ||
| Well, you ain't got freedom without the Lord, son. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like with freedom of speech, too, especially, it kind of reminds me of, like sometimes, this is why people on every side always like comedians when they're losing, because comedians always, freedom of speech is almost like a sexy issue in some ways. | ||
| But it reminds me of, you know, like if you take a basketball game and the cheerleaders Yeah, we'd want to watch the cheerleaders. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| But if they were ever going to interfere with the actual game, everyone would be like, alright, get rid of the cheerleaders. | ||
| I feel like that's how people feel about freedom of speech. | ||
| It's sexy. | ||
| Yeah, of course I have freedom of speech, but the minute it's actually getting in the way of things they want, they're like, alright, well, I don't actually care. | ||
| That's the problem when people are short-sighted. | ||
| Yeah, because they're short-sighted. | ||
| They think that their ideology is the only ideology that is worthwhile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When someone's speaking against it, they just want to silence that person. | ||
| Shut them up! | ||
| Shut them up! | ||
| Kick them off social media! | ||
| They're dangerous! | ||
| Misinformation kills! | ||
| That's what it is, right? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| They're lazy. | ||
| A lot of it is what it is. | ||
| They're lazy. | ||
| They don't want to have to defend their position. | ||
| They want to be able to silence that other... | ||
| Yeah, so it's like a sexy, like a thing that people say they want until, you know. | ||
| And it's a fun thing. | ||
| The way they were running Twitter. | ||
| The way they were running Twitter was fucking wild. | ||
| It was fucking wild. | ||
| They were running Twitter in a way where they were like putting people and shadowbanning them and people that they wouldn't allow their content to get shared. | ||
| That stuff's crazy. | ||
| I've been shadow banned and not shadow banned and stuff like that in different places. | ||
| Of course you have. | ||
| This is crazy! | ||
| You're doing funny stuff. | ||
| If you're doing funny stuff, you're gonna get shadow banned. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| But people didn't know for sure it existed until Elon released the Twitter files. | ||
| Before, it was just like, they lied about it. | ||
| When asked, Twitter lied about whether or not that was a thing. | ||
| It clearly was a thing, and they all knew it. | ||
| They had internal Slack dialogue about what to do and how to do it and how to handle this and handle that. | ||
| The fact that the government was involved, too, is bananas. | ||
| Super crazy. | ||
| Apparently, the government was involved with Trump as well. | ||
| The government was involved with, like, the Trump White House had made some interactions with Twitter as well. | ||
| They got a connection. | ||
| Yeah, their team. | ||
| There was something about tweets, even back then. | ||
| What was it, Jamie? | ||
| Do you know what it was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty sure. | |
| The only one off the top of my head... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Christy Teigen? | |
| They got Christy Teigen taken off or blocked or banned. | ||
| What did she do? | ||
| Did she say something about the Donald? | ||
| I'm sure she did. | ||
| John Legend had a pretty good Pfizer ad the other day. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Did you see that one? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I was just like, what is this? | ||
| Who are you hanging out with that told you to do this? | ||
| It was so weird. | ||
| It was just like, you know, my family's great. | ||
| Like, get more boosters. | ||
| And you're just like, we're still making commercials. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Are you a scientist, sir? | ||
| Yeah, it was a weird one. | ||
| Dude, it's almost 5 o'clock. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| We've been rolling for like three and a half hours. | ||
| That was a lot of fun, brother. | ||
| Thank you very much, man. | ||
| Thank you so much for having me. | ||
| Very funny videos online. | ||
| Tell everybody where they can check out your shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| My podcast is The Boys Cast with Ryan Long. | ||
| Check that at youtube.com slash theboyscast and everywhere you get podcasts. | ||
| Also, ryanlongcomedy.com and at ryanlongcomedy on everything. | ||
| I'm going to be in Buffalo this weekend. | ||
| Dude, who is that guy that you work with who said the thing about if you get information from Project Veritas, you've got to do a lot of gay stuff? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So, Danny, I do a podcast with. | ||
| You just retweeted his video. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So that's who I do my podcast, The Boys Cast With. | ||
| That video is hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, he's the best, right? | ||
| It's so funny because I was telling Jamie that. | ||
| Bro, I thought the exact same thing. | ||
| I'm like, this is a lot of chatty gay guys. | ||
| You just get them a little, lick it up, get on a couple of dates, and these guys start spilling the beans. | ||
| And it was a third date. | ||
| They start spilling the beans, bro. | ||
| Yeah, Danny Polishek, dude. | ||
| First comedy friend. | ||
| But his thing was really funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was talking. | |
| I don't want to give it up. | ||
| No, we can give it away, yeah. | ||
| But it's available on, what is his Instagram? | ||
| How do you get to it? | ||
| At Danny Jokes. | ||
| But he's on the boys cast, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but that shit was really funny. | ||
| Yeah, the guy was like, yeah, we just busted him. | ||
| This is our ninth date. | ||
| And you're like, wait a second, what? | ||
| Nine gay dates? | ||
| Gay guys are now waiting nine days. | ||
| Before they fuck you. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Wait a second. | ||
| It's the South Park episode. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Alright, brother. | ||
| Thank you so much, man. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. |
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