Jan. 12, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:20:11
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | ||
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hello, Andrew Sandino. | ||
| Hello, Mr. Joseph Rogan. | ||
| How are you, sir? | ||
|
unidentified
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Good, brother. | |
| What's crack-a-lackin'? | ||
| Nothing, man. | ||
| Had so much fun last night. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| Had a fun show. | ||
| Welcome to God's country. | ||
| It was wonderful. | ||
| Me, you, Brian Simpson, Tony. | ||
| Fun times. | ||
| So fun, dude. | ||
| Cheers, brother. | ||
| Cheers, my friend. | ||
| Cheers to you. | ||
| Hans Kim. | ||
| Yeah, Hans Kim. | ||
| That's the first time I've seen him live. | ||
| He's a funny motherfucker. | ||
| Dude, I thought when he walked in there... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| A little bit of Balcones... | ||
| When he walked in the room, he took off his helmet, and he had a jacket on, and I was like, this dude bought a bike, huh? | ||
| I was like, what kind of bike do you have? | ||
| He's like, it's a scooter. | ||
| I was like, oh. | ||
| He goes, it's very fuel efficient. | ||
| That's how he thinks. | ||
| Dude, he's got the get-up, though. | ||
| He has the helmet, the jacket, matched his shoes. | ||
| I was like, for sure. | ||
| We need to get him a motorcycle. | ||
| He's got to get a bike. | ||
| Well, there was a bike out back, and I was like, oh, is that Han's bike? | ||
| That's a nice bike. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what? | |
| He should have a Harley. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mm-hmm. | |
| Han should have a Harley. | ||
| No, no, those are stupid. | ||
| You can't steer! | ||
| Why would you drive around in a bike that's very important to get the fuck out of way of stuff and your arms are up like this? | ||
| You do not have good leverage. | ||
| Although if you're lanky, it looks cool. | ||
| Like lanky dudes, it's kind of like a vibe for them. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like a style choice. | ||
| I have a real problem with those handlebars. | ||
| I love those bikes. | ||
| You're not the tallest guy. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| But even if I was, even if you made it to my body, Yeah, like here. | ||
| Yeah, it's still stupid. | ||
| It still looks dumb. | ||
| Like this. | ||
| This you could steer. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Like the race car, the racing bike guys, why do they have their handlebars down there? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because that's the best way to steer. | ||
| Yeah, it's efficient. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That's fucking preposterous. | ||
| Yeah, but dude, the style is... | ||
| Like, there's something about it that makes me go, that's fucking wild. | ||
| There's something about... | ||
| Well, that's not terrible. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, what that guy's got in that fucking... | ||
| The front of that thing is sick. | ||
| That is sick. | ||
| Hans on that? | ||
| That'd be sweet. | ||
| Oh, Hans on one with a skull. | ||
| And look at the back end of it. | ||
| Look at all that metal and shit. | ||
| Look, I like Hans. | ||
| He's putting that thing down in three hours. | ||
|
unidentified
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No! | |
| Hans can handle things. | ||
| Hans is a black belt in Taekwondo. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was that skull one? | ||
| I was a kid, I think. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Show me that skull. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| They do some wild shit with bikes. | ||
| I went for a period of time where I took motorcycle classes and I was ready to ride a bike, but then a dude that I worked with on Fear Factor crashed and fucked up his shoulder. | ||
| And then Frank Mir, who worked for the UFC, he got hit by a car and broke his leg and took him out of action. | ||
| He was really never the same again. | ||
| He was one of the best in the world for a long time, even after that. | ||
| That was like in the prime of his life. | ||
| He got his femur shattered to the point where they... | ||
| I mean, when you get your femur shattered, it's touch and go whether or not you lose your leg. | ||
| And he wasn't the same guy after that fighting. | ||
| It took a long time before he really got his groove back. | ||
| Did you have a bike? | ||
| Did you ever own a bike? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| So then that happened, and then a friend of mine saw somebody get hit on a bike, all within like two weeks while I was taking classes. | ||
| And I was like, fuck this. | ||
| And a bunch of the guys that I worked with on Fear Factor, we all went to the classes together. | ||
| And then, you know, a couple guys that worked in production, and one of the guys was a stunt guy, and we all were like, hey, let's get bikes. | ||
| And then one of them kept it. | ||
| One takes his fucking bike everywhere now, and I always envy him. | ||
| I'm like, that rebel, that wild motherfucker, he just rides his bike. | ||
| He's like, it's the best. | ||
| He goes, I'm never in traffic. | ||
| He goes, I ride my bike everywhere. | ||
| He's a single guy. | ||
| He just gets around. | ||
| I've thought about it, man, over the years, but I'm sketched out about other people. | ||
| One of my closest childhood friends, him and his wife, both rode professionally like he would do motocross and all that shit and trick shows internationally. | ||
| That's where he met his wife overseas. | ||
| And they both gave it up because she... | ||
| I don't know if she was with him or saw it happen, one of her good friends die on a bike, and she was like, that's it. | ||
| Never, never again. | ||
| And both of them. | ||
| And dude, he was, the whole time I knew this kid when we were teenagers, he was a fucking nutbag. | ||
| I mean, he loved bikes. | ||
| Anything with two wheels that he could fly, he loved it. | ||
| And then as soon as that happened, it was like, never again. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Fast cars, though. | ||
| Fast cars, you have a little more protection. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, a lot. | |
| A lot more protection. | ||
| Yeah, you can get in an accident and not get hurt at all. | ||
| I was telling you, somebody rear-ended my Porsche back in L.A. and didn't get hurt. | ||
| That was a fascinating time because I was doing a lot of yoga. | ||
| I was doing yoga like three times a week. | ||
| And I did it that day. | ||
| And when the guy hit my car, I was like, well, what are you going to do? | ||
| Calm. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| I was like, this is fascinating. | ||
| I'm not mad at this dude. | ||
| The guy didn't have a license. | ||
| He was illegal. | ||
| And I go, what are you doing, man? | ||
| And he goes, I gotta work. | ||
| I'm like, it's a good answer. | ||
| It's a fucking solid answer. | ||
| The guy has to work. | ||
| And I'm putting myself in his shoes. | ||
| I'm like, the fuck would I do if I snuck over here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'd fucking drive too, man. | ||
| Unfortunately, he was on his phone and they had stopped the lanes to move everybody into one lane and he didn't see it in time. | ||
| And he slammed on his brakes and just fucking plowed into me. | ||
| I got hit in my neighborhood. | ||
| The woman... | ||
| This is my first car accident. | ||
| I've been like, fender bender stuff, you know what I mean? | ||
| But this was like, actually we got hit on our side. | ||
| And I... Time slowed down a little bit. | ||
| Like it was creepy as shit because I hit the brakes. | ||
| I had enough time to brake horn turn. | ||
| I did it almost like simultaneously. | ||
| And I started to slide away from her because I could see she wasn't looking. | ||
| She came flying out of a driveway. | ||
| Her head was the other way. | ||
| And as soon as she turned... | ||
| I swear to God, like, out of a fucking movie, like, I zoomed in on her eyes. | ||
| Like, I saw her fucking eyes. | ||
| And then smoked us right in the side. | ||
| Everybody was fine, but that was, like, the first time I got into, like, a real car accident. | ||
| Legitimate. | ||
| Because I've been, you know, nicked, bumped, whatever. | ||
| But nothing like that. | ||
| That was... | ||
| I had my Land Cruiser built with rock sliders and metal bumpers just in case it got hit. | ||
| Because when you have a Land Cruiser and it's elevated, so it's elevated. | ||
| It's got like a four-inch lift and serious off-road. | ||
| It's an apocalypse car. | ||
| It's got a giant gas tank. | ||
| I literally got it because I don't trust LA. I'm like, if shit goes sideways, you've got to be able to drive over these hills. | ||
| I need something that can get me the fuck out of here. | ||
| If you're on a road, and then... | ||
| Did you hear about those people that died in California? | ||
| This is not... | ||
| I don't think you could have done anything in this circumstance, but they were trapped on a road during a wildfire. | ||
| And the wildfire... | ||
| It was moving so fast, it killed everybody that was on the road. | ||
| No. | ||
| Burned them alive in their cars. | ||
| That's where you get a Land Cruiser. | ||
| Yeah, but even then it wouldn't have helped. | ||
| It was a bad example. | ||
| You're trapped. | ||
| It's trapped there, too. | ||
| But the point is, if you have a car, you can't go that way or that way. | ||
| You're not going over hills. | ||
| But if you have a legitimate four-wheel drive off-road vehicle, it opens up a lot of terrain to you. | ||
| You can move around better. | ||
| And this is a dumb thought, but I was like, okay, and also, steel all around it. | ||
| So if someone plows into me from the side, they're going right into those giant steel rock sliders. | ||
| Everything's metal around you. | ||
| So it's really good for side impacts. | ||
| How much longer until you get a jetpack? | ||
| I'm not getting a jetpack. | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| No, I will not be an early adopter of a jetpack. | ||
| If I had the money, I would jetpack the fuck everywhere. | ||
| I knew this dude... | ||
| Back when I used to do the radio in Denver, and they had this fucking guy who was a jetpack guy, and this guy had been using these experimental jetpacks, and he had no knees. | ||
| His knees were destroyed. | ||
| Because you have to land with it? | ||
| Because he had fucking blowing his knees out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this guy kept doing it. | ||
| So, like, before the launch, this guy has to strap his knees in. | ||
| So he has, like, these crazy braces and strapping his knees down and velcroing this. | ||
| I'll go, what are you doing? | ||
| And he goes, dude, I've blown both my knees out. | ||
| They're both useless. | ||
| But he's still flying around in this fucking jetpack. | ||
| I would do it. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Back then, it could only go up in the air for 30 seconds. | ||
| Yeah, but now they last a long time. | ||
| How long do they last? | ||
| I saw the dude doing it over the... | ||
| You have to look it up how long it... | ||
| I saw a guy doing it over a body of water. | ||
| Legitimately, it looked like two minutes. | ||
| He was just chilling above the water. | ||
| They have some with wings now. | ||
| Have you seen the ones with wings? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, dude, this is what I want. | ||
| They caught some dude flying around near the airport with it. | ||
| There was reports of him. | ||
| In restricted airspace? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it was like flying near where jets go. | |
| This fucking crazy asshole. | ||
| Psycho. | ||
| I want to be near jets. | ||
| Imagine doing ecstasy and flying around in a jetpack. | ||
| LAX jetpack mystery. | ||
| Pirates report seeing man with jetpack flying near planes above LA. That's so wild. | ||
| See, that's awesome. | ||
| Remember, I used to have a joke about it. | ||
| Where the fuck are the jetpacks? | ||
| This was in, like, 2005. Well, we're here. | ||
| I thought we'd have jetpacks and robot fuck dolls. | ||
| That's what I thought we'd have by now. | ||
| Well, you were two for two, man. | ||
| This car? | ||
| What? | ||
| Air car? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It should have said CES. Oh, my God. | ||
| It says it's really, it works, and I don't know how we're going to use it, but it's a four-seater air car. | ||
| It's like a drone. | ||
| Does it not have a video of a test run or some shit? | ||
| I believe it does, yeah. | ||
| It says pre-order. | ||
| I ain't pre-ordering shit, bro. | ||
| I need to hear some reports. | ||
| Yeah, dude, test it out, man. | ||
| Take it for a couple trial runs. | ||
| It's like an Uber version of it. | ||
|
unidentified
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What? | |
| So you can just get it? | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Remember that rental car company? | ||
| Does that company still around where you had an app and you could just rent a car and they would drive it right to you? | ||
| Yeah, I think though. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| They're still around? | ||
| That's cool how it transforms. | ||
|
unidentified
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Look at this fucking thing. | |
| Yeah, it's a drone. | ||
| It's like a drone car. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And drones today, have you seen those competitions where they have like drone competitions? | ||
| It's unreal. | ||
| Where they have cones and poles and holes you have to fly through and they... | ||
| Those things are incredible now. | ||
| Get stoned and watch the ones where they go through the buildings. | ||
| Dude, it's like you're on a ride. | ||
| It'll go through building windows, sideways, flip upside down, go through different hallways. | ||
| This shit is insane. | ||
| That would be so dope in VR. That's what I mean. | ||
| He'll flip upside down, go through another little tiny holes. | ||
| That's how they're controlling it. | ||
| They have a headset on a VR headset, and they're watching it in first person. | ||
| Oh my god, the control this guy has is incredible. | ||
| Yeah, it's unreal. | ||
| These things are amazingly agile. | ||
| See if you can find those competitions, Jamie. | ||
| Because I was watching them on Instagram the other day, where these guys were flying through doorways, and they had made a doorway, and it's like they have an obstacle course. | ||
| Oh, this one's all lit up with neon. | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| Oh my god, this is amazing. | ||
| I don't know how hard it would be to memorize the course to know where the turns are, because... | ||
| Well, you remember when we used to play Quake? | ||
| Dudes would memorize maps. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Yeah, guys would... | ||
| Well, this looks like he's following that light. | ||
| Do you see that light in front of him? | ||
| There's probably one in front, yeah. | ||
| That's like a trail in front of him, so maybe that's... | ||
| I know they also have this. | ||
| I also saw someone doing a fishing sim, where he had a real-life fishing pole hooked up to a device that was tracking like a tuna he was pulling. | ||
| But they have these also where you can just practice this with a real handset, and you're flying it like it would be, but it's all fake, it's all on a computer. | ||
| The first question, I'd be like, so when I crash this, what does it cost? | ||
| Because I'm crashing that fucking thing immediately. | ||
| That's so hard. | ||
| To get to this guy's level, you have to fuck around with regular drones for a long time. | ||
| What do they cost? | ||
| I literally don't know. | ||
| A couple thousand. | ||
| There's another thing I just saw. | ||
| It looked like a very goofy video online. | ||
| I'll try to find it real quick. | ||
| It's like these, but they're attached to a cord, like a kite, and it's a league where they're racing somewhere. | ||
| They do dogfights. | ||
| You know, it's literally like everything else. | ||
| We were just practicing driving golf balls out there earlier. | ||
| I can't even hit it. | ||
| I'm missing. | ||
| I'm whacking the ground. | ||
| I don't know how to do it. | ||
| You guys are giving me pointers and shit, but I've never done it. | ||
| I've went to Topgolf a couple times and just whacked the ball. | ||
| I don't know what I'm doing. | ||
| But when I'm watching you guys, it's fascinating. | ||
| I'm like, how are you doing it? | ||
| Because you hit it so fucking hard. | ||
| I was trying to show off for Jamie a little bit. | ||
| Dude, you can drive a fucking golf ball. | ||
| That shit is impressive as fuck. | ||
| Your technique is amazing. | ||
| I want you to come with me. | ||
| It's so smooth. | ||
| I would love for you to see it live. | ||
| I want to see it live. | ||
| Because Jamie talks a lot of shit. | ||
| I want to see you, Jamie, and Hinchcliffe going at it. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| No, but I'm saying... | ||
| Get baked and drive the car. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| If you see pros live, though... | ||
| I don't know if you've ever seen pros in person, but it's... | ||
| The way that you're, even this gap of you being like, I don't ever golf, and then you're like, wow, dude, you're good at that. | ||
| When I watch those guys, it's the same feeling when you go to professional sports, and you're like, that's un-fucking-real how good they are. | ||
| It's like shocking to watch live. | ||
| And if you are really good yourself, and you are really good at golf, then you can really appreciate a pro. | ||
| Oh yeah, dude. | ||
| Whereas I can kind of appreciate it, but I don't know what's going on. | ||
| It's sort of like with the UFC. Right. | ||
| When dudes scramble on the ground and someone's like an elite jiu-jitsu black belt, the people that are practicing jiu-jitsu are like, holy shit, look at that guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Charles Olivero. | ||
| Watch how he cinches this up. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, when you see golfing, we had this guy, Fedor Gorst, came in. | ||
| How old is Fedor? | ||
| 23? | ||
| 22? | ||
|
unidentified
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22? | |
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| 22, 23 years old. | ||
| If not the best pool player in the world, top three for sure. | ||
| We came in here and we played him on that table. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| Did you stand a little bit of a chance? | ||
|
unidentified
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You're good. | |
| I won the first two games. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, really? | |
| I ran out the first game and I won the second game. | ||
| Take that, Fedor. | ||
| I got lucky. | ||
| Well, he gave me a shot in the first game. | ||
| I think he broke and didn't have a shot on the object ball. | ||
| He pushed out and I ran out. | ||
| Where's he from? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| He missed or ran out? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| He's from Russia, originally. | ||
| And he's got a green card playing pool in the United States. | ||
| But, dude, he is incredible. | ||
| Like, the level between me and him, who's like, I'm like a B player. | ||
| You know, probably like you are in golf. | ||
| I'm like a B player. | ||
| And then watching him play, like, holy fuck, man. | ||
| It's a different world. | ||
| It's humiliating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's so good, and his cue ball position is so perfect. | ||
| When he's moving the ball around, it's so effortless and smooth, and that ball just slides right where it's supposed to go, and then it knocks that ball in, the ball slides right where it's supposed to go, and it's all the same speed. | ||
| It's just this smooth, effortless stroke. | ||
| Oh my god, it's amazing. | ||
| But that's what you do. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| That's what I was like. | ||
| You know, mediocre at best at pool, but it's because my fluidity is off with that. | ||
| I'm not good at it. | ||
| Where yours is like that. | ||
| That's the same thing with golf. | ||
| It's all fluidity. | ||
| I could play, if I played every day for a year, I could be a shitty pro. | ||
| At pool? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd go to tournaments and get knocked out. | ||
| I'd be in the top 32 of a 50-man tournament. | ||
| But you do good enough to keep up. | ||
| Yeah, but I could never keep up with those guys. | ||
| To keep up with guys like Fedor, first of all, you have to be practicing eight hours a day for years. | ||
| It's not just that I could pick up and go eight hours a day and be as good as he is. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| The gap is so far. | ||
| I would have to be fully dedicated to being a professional pool player, because all those guys, They're the top of the top. | ||
| They play eight, ten hours a day. | ||
| Shane Van Boning, who is one of the best, if not the best in the world, he's right there with Fedor. | ||
| I want to have a challenge match with him and Fedor here on that table and just stream it. | ||
| When he would practice his break for five, six hours in a row, just rack the balls like a robot, ba-blam! | ||
| Rack the balls like a robot, ba-blam! | ||
| Crack the balls. | ||
| Just over and over. | ||
| And he has a hearing aid. | ||
| He's deaf. | ||
| He was born deaf. | ||
| He just shuts his hearing aid off. | ||
| So he can't hear anything. | ||
| All he does is focus on the task. | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| And he's a monster. | ||
| He's the most evil breaker in the world. | ||
| Because he'll play ten ball and he'll break and make six balls in the break. | ||
| So you're playing ten ball, but he's playing four ball. | ||
| And he's not like a big giant guy either. | ||
| It's just a smooth... | ||
| It's the way you're driving the golf ball, that smooth, perfect technique. | ||
| That's what he has when he drives the cue ball. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Because you don't need to be... | ||
| I've noticed some of those guys... | ||
| I mean, I know almost nothing about Poole, but anytime I've seen it, like either you've shown me... | ||
| Not all these guys are big boys, but they hit the fucking shit out of it, even if they're smaller guys. | ||
| They let the cue stick do the work for them, though. | ||
| When they're doing it, they're not muscling it. | ||
| It's like an acceleration of the arm. | ||
| There's a thing called a slip stroke where you actually let the cue go, and you kind of catch it at the bottom of the cue. | ||
| A lot of these old-time, really smooth players, they would play with a slip stroke. | ||
| And when you watch a guy with a slipstroke, you're like, oh my god. | ||
| Like, you have to be so advanced to be able to play smooth and effortless with a slipstroke. | ||
| You let go of it for a fraction of a second? | ||
|
unidentified
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You let go of it. | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| You let go of it. | ||
| I've done that on accident. | ||
| It slips out of your hand, you catch it. | ||
| But it's because they're cradling that stick. | ||
| They're not gripping it. | ||
| Like, if you watch someone who doesn't know how to play, they grab it like a baseball bat. | ||
| But if you watch, like, Fedor, or you watch, like, Efren Reyes, like, the best of the best, they cradle it in their hand. | ||
| They're barely holding on to it. | ||
| And they're letting their arm move and letting the stick do the work. | ||
| I'm choking it out every time. | ||
| Google Shane Van Boning make six balls on the break. | ||
| You watch this dude break, and I know it's just breaking and pull, but it's perfection. | ||
| It's like something... | ||
| You ever see Jiro Dreams of Sushi? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| They made that dude work on the eggs for like a year. | ||
| That's all he did was try to... | ||
| Perfect, making his egg dish. | ||
| And the one son did it forever, still didn't promote him. | ||
| No! | ||
| He's like, not good enough. | ||
| He's like, you suck, bro. | ||
| You suck at sushi. | ||
| Yeah, you suck, man. | ||
| Well, it's like that, but this guy's got that with the break shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like, there's a Japanese term for that when you practice this one thing over and over and over again in an attempt to achieve enlightenment. | ||
| Watch this, motherfucker. | ||
| So this is ten ball. | ||
| There's ten balls there. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch the perfection of this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| See how smooth that shit is? | ||
| Look at those balls just scattering, son. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's like perfection. | ||
| Like he just knows where to hit it. | ||
| He knows what speed to hit it. | ||
| He knows what side. | ||
| He's hitting not even flat on the one ball. | ||
| He's hitting it slightly to the side. | ||
| Well, that one he hit it pretty flat, actually. | ||
| Is this the cat that was born deaf? | ||
| Yep, he's deaf. | ||
| Yeah, and when he plays, he shuts his hearing aid off. | ||
| He doesn't hear shit. | ||
| You can call him whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| He's out there running out on you, son. | ||
| So this is the opposite of that in golf, where they're going to play in a couple weeks in Phoenix. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| It's called the Waste Management. | ||
| They build this giant arena around this hole. | ||
| It's like 17,000 people, and they're all cheering while you play. | ||
| It's a fucking party. | ||
| It's like the opposite of golf. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And this guy hit a hole in one. | ||
| But how many holes is it? | ||
| That's just on a par three. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a normal tournament. | |
| Oh my god, that's incredible. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| People start throwing beer from the stands. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| With all that pressure to do that is pretty fucking wild. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| This is what golf should be. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Who came up with this idea? | ||
| These guys did in Phoenix. | ||
| Waste Management. | ||
| Literally, the trash company. | ||
| They sponsor this. | ||
| That's the best golf ever. | ||
| That's real golf. | ||
| So Poole has a thing that's not as grand as that, but it's called the Moscone Cup. | ||
| And the difference between the Moscone Cup and everything else is the crowd cheers and they go nuts. | ||
| And it's USA versus Europe. | ||
| So it's teams. | ||
| So if you and I were on Team USA, you would hit the four ball and give position for me to play the five ball and then I'd give you the six ball. | ||
| And we'd go back and forth like that. | ||
| So you and I would be playing against two people from Europe. | ||
| And everyone's screaming and cheering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're up! | |
| You're up! | ||
| USA! USA! It gets wild! | ||
| But then they all quiet down when the guy's about to shoot. | ||
| And then it's loud again. | ||
| It's loud again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I see. | |
| I love that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He makes the ball. | |
| Yeah! | ||
| See if you can find Moscone Cup highlights. | ||
| Find Moscone Cup highlights. | ||
| Now everybody kind of knows about it and it's like the one pool tournament where everyone's gonna scream. | ||
| There's no quiet in the crowd. | ||
| There's no quiet. | ||
| Everyone's screaming. | ||
| But they all know the rhythm of it. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, that's awesome. | |
| So people are screaming and cheering while these guys are playing. | ||
| That's pool, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what it should be. | ||
| Let's fucking go! | ||
| Losing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| That was the most awkward chest bump ever. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because they didn't want to bang up their cues. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They didn't want to... | ||
| Put it to the side. | ||
| They had their... | ||
| See, watch how your chest bumps. | ||
| They're both like, don't touch my cue. | ||
| Don't fuck my cue up. | ||
| See? | ||
| The cue, easy, easy, easy with the cue, easy with the cue. | ||
| That's Josh Filler. | ||
| He's one of the best in the world. | ||
| And he's got a wood shaft, so he's got it like, hey. | ||
| Some guys have carbon fiber shafts. | ||
| They're a little more loosey-goosey, because you can kind of bang those around. | ||
| But wood shafts get a little nick in it, and then you feel it when you're playing. | ||
| It bothers the shit out of you. | ||
| Just a little, tiny... | ||
| The tiniest thing, you can't even find it. | ||
| You can't even find it by looking at it. | ||
| You have to almost be playing, and then when you feel it, you stop. | ||
| And you go, where's that little motherfucker? | ||
| And then you gotta spit on it. | ||
| You get some water, and you put it on the wood, and the wood will swell back up to where it is. | ||
| And then you burnish it, you get it all hot, and you put a little bit more water on, the wood swells a little bit more. | ||
| I can't help it. | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| You got to spit on it and make it swell. | ||
| You got to. | ||
| Spit on that wood and make it swell. | ||
| Spit on it. | ||
| You know what that reminds me of? | ||
| They just posted a clip of a dart championship, you know, and when they lose it in the background, and it was like, they call it like a nines, two guys have nines, or something like only nine darts. | ||
| So two guys both had nines. | ||
| And then the first guy obviously won. | ||
| But it was like, I guess this doesn't happen that often that it's only nines. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| And they posted it somewhere. | ||
| Oh, right here. | ||
| Watch this fucking clip, Joe. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
180! | |
| I love these announcers. | ||
| Look at the rhythm. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so accurate, dude. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can tell. | |
| This is insanity. | ||
| That's insanity. | ||
| Look how casual, too. | ||
| Dude, they fucking lose it! | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| I know that dude probably has an English accent, but he totally looks like he's from Kentucky. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| That guy looks... | ||
| Oh, he fucked up, sorry! | ||
| First miss. | ||
| That guy looks English, but this dude, this dude looks like he's straight out of Kansas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| That's a corn-fed Englishman. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big beef boy. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| That dude could be at a Luke Combs concert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Double 12! | ||
| So sick. | ||
| Suck it! | ||
| Suck it! | ||
| You gotta have a crowd. | ||
| Dude, that's so fun. | ||
| You gotta have a crowd! | ||
| I wanna go to one of these so bad, one time. | ||
| Pool needs a fucking crowd. | ||
| They have a league starting up in about a year that's gonna be indoor golf like this. | ||
| Monday nights, like Monday night football event, they're gonna have 15,000 people watching golf. | ||
| Like, we just played on a simulator. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When it's gonna be like Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, the best golfers in the world doing it. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| I wonder, as I was thinking, I was like, can you do a pool that way? | ||
| 5,000 people. | ||
| You could, but you'd have to have... | ||
| The reason why the Moscone Cup is so good is because you have this USA versus Europe rivalry. | ||
| And it goes back and forth. | ||
| I think the Europeans have been winning more lately. | ||
| Can we recruit? | ||
| Can we draft? | ||
| We have the best people already. | ||
| You couldn't get better people. | ||
| The people that are already competing... | ||
| If you wanted to start your own team... | ||
| You could recruit. | ||
| But, I mean, like, Team USA already has the best players in the United States. | ||
| And Team Europe has the best players in Europe. | ||
| I meant, like, in sometimes the Olympics, an American might end up playing in Italy because they have some traced grandfathers. | ||
| Yeah, you can say... | ||
| Yeah, maybe we can get some Filipino cats. | ||
| Come over here. | ||
| We'll sneak in some ties. | ||
| There's Filipino guys that you never even heard of that will fucking beat anybody in the world. | ||
| It's crazy how good they are. | ||
| Yeah, why the Philippines? | ||
| There's a lot of dudes out of the Philippines. | ||
| It's really popular over there. | ||
| Efren Reyes, who's a legend, he's like the Babe Ruth of Poole. | ||
| When he goes to the Philippines, that guy gets fucking mobbed. | ||
| There's all these matches where him playing, he gambles still. | ||
| He's old as fuck. | ||
| He can't play as good as he used to, so guys have to actually give him handicaps to give him spots. | ||
| Like, if we're playing ten ball, like, say, he would have to make, like, the seven and out. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Or he'd have to make the eight and they'd have to make the ten. | ||
| That's a lot of gives right a lot of gives Yeah, but that's just because they so they can gamble I wouldn't say the seven and out but maybe maybe like the eight ball at a ten something like but for Like a guy like me if I was gonna play a pro That's how you'd play them. | ||
| They would have to give you some sort of a handicap And that's what they would do like guys Let's say you get the seven in the breaks That means you could break every game and you could win with the seven or the nine. | ||
| Oh Yeah, it's a big big spot What he's really saying is, I'm so much better than you. | ||
| He's saying, I'm going to lock you up, I'm going to run out on you, I'm going to put you in a coma, I'm going to win all the games. | ||
| Do people keep, like in golf, you keep a handicap. | ||
| Can you keep a handicap in pool? | ||
| No, there's a thing called the Fargo scoring. | ||
| Fargo scoring, it calculates how often you miss, bad position play, it calculates scratching on the break, all these different things, and you get like a number. | ||
| That's your Fargo score. | ||
| Bad safeties, if you have a bad safety and leave the ball out, that counts against your score, I think. | ||
| What's your Fargo score? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But I was never good. | ||
| I was always B-level. | ||
| I've won tournaments before, like a local tournament, but that's against other B players. | ||
| What would a good Fargo score be? | ||
| I think it's in the 900s. | ||
| Oh, the more is better. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's like 100 is the perfect score. | ||
| And some of these guys, they'll win matches with like 937. Yeah. | ||
| Which is just insanity. | ||
| Just insanity. | ||
| They're just not missing. | ||
| We watched this match with that kid Fedor, where he ran out seven racks in a row to win this set on this guy in this high-pressure tournament. | ||
| In a row? | ||
| In a row. | ||
| Just broke and ran out perfectly seven games in a row, and you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| He did that to me out here. | ||
| He did it multiple times. | ||
| He broke and ran out like four or five racks in a row. | ||
| We're just sitting there watching. | ||
| This guy breaking right out, breaking right out, breaking right out. | ||
| Putting out a fucking clinic. | ||
| A clinic. | ||
| Yeah, see, that's great. | ||
| It's like, I love that with everything, man. | ||
| I love when a guy can do that. | ||
| I love when people can do that especially in something that I don't even do. | ||
| Because this way, I don't have to get obsessed and run home and try to practice. | ||
| I can just enjoy it. | ||
| Like when I watch Gary Clark Jr. play guitar, I get obsessed watching someone who's so good do something I have zero... | ||
| I don't understand what's happening. | ||
| I know you're doing this and the fingers move. | ||
| I don't know what's happening other than that. | ||
| I just love that, that I can just watch it. | ||
| I like it if I know I don't have that much interest in it because then I don't get jealous and I don't go, I want to pick one up so fucking bad. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's a problem with golf. | ||
| See, I can't get involved with golf because I know I would love it. | ||
| You will. | ||
| Everybody loves it. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| Nobody takes up golf and goes, this sucks. | ||
| Everybody's like, dude, I'm so obsessed. | ||
| Like, Tony became a fucking straight-up junkie. | ||
| Jamie became a straight-up junkie. | ||
| I know, I see him. | ||
| Just from moving here. | ||
| Fiending in the garage with the track man. | ||
| The guy's out there. | ||
| First of all, he starts out normal, right? | ||
| He started out with just like a little piece of grass and his little computer setup. | ||
| Now he's got a net around it and a new fucking radar system to tell how fast the ball's going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| He's filming himself to make sure his technique is right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Are you checking your technique against something or no? | ||
| No, just a feel. | ||
| Oh, you run shit through a program? | ||
| Well, that's the next level. | ||
| Yeah, that is the next level up. | ||
| I can hook up three high-speed cameras to that. | ||
| I can have my coach if I had one. | ||
| It goes right to his phone, basically. | ||
| Why don't you have a coach? | ||
| You need a coach, Jamie. | ||
| I've talked to a few people. | ||
| Shout out Chris Coma. | ||
| You do need a coach. | ||
| Coaching is giant. | ||
| I haven't actually been fully coached yet. | ||
| I played pool for a long time before I got coached. | ||
| I got coached a little bit a couple of times or a few lessons when I was starting out in the beginning, in the early days. | ||
| But then I met this dude, Max Eberle, who's like a professional instructor and also like a top flight pro, and he coached me. | ||
| Like, he gave me actual lessons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when he gives you, like, you learn so much. | ||
| You learn what you're doing wrong, you learn why he's doing it this way, you learn, like, position play, what's the right way to move a ball to another ball. | ||
| But in golf, everyone's stroke can be different. | ||
| So is there a single perfect stroke that everyone's trying to emulate? | ||
| No. | ||
| So it's the same thing. | ||
| Yeah, it's the same thing. | ||
| Everything's all weird. | ||
| There was a guy named Keith McCready and he had the greatest stroke of all time and his arm was totally sideways. | ||
| It was totally fucked up. | ||
| It's supposed to be 90 degrees from your elbow down. | ||
| If someone was teaching you, like if you watch a snooker player for example, they call it snooker. | ||
| They're playing on a giant ass table with little tiny balls. | ||
| They have to have perfect technique. | ||
| The way they hit the ball is so straight and so smooth. | ||
| And they make really good pool players. | ||
| A lot of those guys come over and start playing pool and dominate because they're so accurate. | ||
| Because they're used to these little tiny balls and they're used to having this perfect stroke. | ||
| But pool players, they do all kinds of different shit. | ||
| Like some guys, you've got guys who have that slip stroke thing going on. | ||
| You've got guys who are like Keith McCready, who's the rarest of the rarest, totally sideways with his arm. | ||
| Like his arm would be like this while he's playing. | ||
| He wouldn't be playing like this. | ||
| But it's out here. | ||
| It's out on the side. | ||
| But it works. | ||
| Because he learned how to play when he was a little kid and he couldn't reach the table. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So he had his arm up there like this. | ||
| Oh, that's genius. | ||
| Because, you know, the table's where his chin is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he's learning how to play with his arm sideways. | ||
| That's like the guy, Jamie, what's a Korean guy that swings out of his shoes? | ||
| You know, a little Korean guy who literally flies out of his shoes? | ||
| Dude, you should see this guy. | ||
| It's the funniest shit you've ever seen. | ||
| He is a pro golfer who has a swing like a guy who started a month ago. | ||
| And he literally will swing so hard his body will turn, he'll drop shit. | ||
| Watch this guy. | ||
| That's an easy one. | ||
| This is... | ||
| But is he good? | ||
| Yeah, he's good. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He falls down. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Look at it on the right, Joe. | ||
| Straight down the middle. | ||
| 300 yards. | ||
| Yeah, as long as it's repeatable. | ||
| I mean, that's the thing with pool. | ||
| It's repeatable. | ||
| That's the thing with archery. | ||
| That's the thing with a lot of things. | ||
| A lot of people have goofy archery stances, but if it's repeatable... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The question is, is it repeatable under pressure? | ||
| Because pressure is a fascinating thing, because you just want it to be over. | ||
| You have anxiety, you rush things, you fuck things up. | ||
| And you've got to learn how to stay inside your technique and inside your mindset and inside your pre-shot routine, even under pressure. | ||
| So that's got to be the same with everything. | ||
| That's why it's really important to learn great technique. | ||
| If you have your own flair, you should learn how to do it right first. | ||
| Thousands and millions of people have been doing this. | ||
| They figured out how to do it right. | ||
| You could have variations and deviations of that, but there's certain things like with Taekwondo, when I was teaching, it was very hard to teach someone who had already taken bad classes. | ||
| So if someone had went to like a karate school and they were kicking with their knee down and they had no power, it was all in the legs and not in the hips, And you would try to, like, teach these people, under pressure, they would always revert back to their earlier form. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Under sparring pressure. | ||
| Under fighting. | ||
| When they were fighting in competitions, they always, when shit would get wild, they'd always revert. | ||
| And they would lose power, they'd lose speed. | ||
| You lose a direct linear line to the attack point. | ||
| You're deviating. | ||
| You have too much wit. | ||
| Like, when you see people throwing looping punches, sometimes they work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes they work. | ||
| But... | ||
| Most of the time, you're better off if you have that as an option, but you straight punch most of the time. | ||
| Your hooks are clean, your straight punch is clean, but every now and then you can do some wild shit and get away with it. | ||
| But you have to learn how to do everything else first. | ||
| Otherwise, you leave too many openings. | ||
| That's got to be the same with golf. | ||
| It's got to be the same with everything. | ||
| Well, yeah, well, it's, you know, like, if somebody had lessons before, the trick is, what he knows, is, like, sometimes they have to untangle, like a fucking phone wire, what someone else has done to you. | ||
| Because you can keep changing as you get older, your body will change, you know, like Tiger goes through it, his back, so he changed the way he swings, like, that's the same thing, and your techniques have to change with time and your body and your limits, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And guys will pick a style, kind of stick to it, and then tweak it over time because you've got to find the thing that literally... | ||
| I equate it to when I started snowboarding, learning how to go to your toe side. | ||
| Everyone can heel side. | ||
| Everyone can stop like this with their back to the mountain. | ||
| But face to the mountain is always so scary at first because you feel like you're going to... | ||
| Catch an edge and hit your fucking head, which you do when you're starting. | ||
| But once you learn your version of how to shift your weight, it's like, it's riding a bike, cliche, but you immediately go, I know exactly how my body does that. | ||
| You feel the moment you learn it, you go, Oh. | ||
| Do you remember those hoverboards we had at the old studio? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, dude. | |
| Little wheelie things? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| The first time I got on the thing, I could not fucking stand still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My friend Tate had to hold my arm. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| I was like falling. | ||
| Like, you've seen the video of Mike Tyson falling? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mike Tyson! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Mike Tyson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's a fucking better athlete than Mike Tyson? | ||
| Falls on his ass riding one of those things. | ||
| But then once I got the hang of it, dude, I could just cruise around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like my body knew exactly what it did, and it just goes, oh, we got a program for that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They plug it in. | ||
| Plug it in. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, I could just... | ||
| Jamie and I were doing it all the time. | ||
| But Jamie fell and broke his ass bone. | ||
| Like, literally broke his ass bone. | ||
| I was fucking around. | ||
| He's gonna say he was fucking around, but he wasn't. | ||
| He was cruising. | ||
| Oh, he was definitely fucking around. | ||
| Before you do it. | ||
| He was always fucking around. | ||
| I was trying to film and do his different stuff. | ||
| I just took my eye off the prize for a second. | ||
| Did you break your tailbone for real? | ||
| Nah, I don't think so. | ||
| He broke his tailbone. | ||
| I got hurt though, for sure. | ||
| Bro, you were hurt for a year. | ||
| I probably still am hurt. | ||
| Alright, you broke your tailbone. | ||
| Bro, I tried to cover it up. | ||
| I know people that have broken their tailbone. | ||
| It's real similar in all the... | ||
| I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think it's real similar. | ||
| I fell on my side on the tailbone, technically, so it would have been something in my hip. | ||
| No, you can break your hip bone, your tailbone, by falling on your hip. | ||
| If you hit, look, any time you're putting that kind of pressure on your hip, when you're falling and all your weight is going down to concrete, which is what it was, we have polished concrete floors, it's immovable, and you're hitting bone, and all kinds of stuff goes crack! | ||
| Yeah, it's gonna fucking hurt. | ||
| Stuff up here goes crack, there goes crack. | ||
| When I fell skiing the last time I skied, I fucking cracked- I got what's called an insufficiency fracture, where it fractured at the top where my shin meets my cartilage. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, fuck skiing. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| Well, that's like the first time you snowboard. | ||
| You fall on your ass, dude. | ||
| It hurts so bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because your body's not used to that kind of fall. | ||
| Not since you were a baby learning how to walk. | ||
| Was your ass squishy enough to bounce? | ||
| Now you get older, dude. | ||
| You break. | ||
| Yeah, it hurts. | ||
| My boy Shane Dorian, he's a world champion big wave surfer. | ||
| He was snowboarding a year and a half ago. | ||
| Two years ago, actually. | ||
| And just blew his fucking knee out, man. | ||
| Slammed into a tree. | ||
| And this is a guy who's a professional surfer. | ||
| I think he tore his ACL and his MCL. He had to get surgery. | ||
| And then we hooked him up with Ways to Well here in Austin. | ||
| They stem celled him. | ||
| And fixed his name. | ||
| Fixed his shit fast. | ||
| Well, fixed it after he'd gone through a lot of rehabilitation. | ||
| But that was the big thing that really helped him and pushed him over the edge and got him back to it. | ||
| Yeah, it gets scary. | ||
| You're a fucking pro surfer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To be doing that? | ||
| That seems so insane to me. | ||
| Yeah, but snowboarding is so funny. | ||
| It must be so exciting. | ||
| Riding down a fucking mountain is so fun. | ||
| My buddy just broke a couple ribs. | ||
| He was with his kids, and we got this weird text chain that was like, hey, did you hear what happened? | ||
| At first, whenever you hear skiing shit, I immediately are like, what the fuck happened? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Luckily, all he did was break a few ribs and... | ||
| I mean, he's fucked up, but he's fine. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Bro, we lost Sonny Bono. | ||
| I know, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God bless. | |
| We miss you, man. | ||
| Sonny Bono, we lost Sonny Bono into a fucking tree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lost him. | |
| Got him. | ||
| The tree got him. | ||
| The tree got his ass down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Don't fuck with those trees. | ||
| Bro, that must be a horrible way to go. | ||
| I do not go in there. | ||
| You see the tree and you know there ain't a goddamn thing you can do to stop that motherfucker. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I'm sticking to where I'm supposed to. | ||
| People are ballsy that go off. | ||
| If you're really good, people do it all the time, but I don't need that shit. | ||
| I don't need to clip a tree. | ||
| So many people get hurt skiing. | ||
| I mean, it's very fun, but boy, there's a lot of orthopedic surgeons in Aspen. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, keep skiing, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep going. | |
| I want to buy a Ferrari. | ||
| I want to buy a Ferrari. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I want my sixth house, man. | ||
| Get up to that. | ||
| Get up to that mountain. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| But you fucking... | ||
| You get a thrill. | ||
| You get some juice out of it. | ||
| The guy with the fucking jetpack is the reason why he had all those straps on his knees. | ||
| I want that so bad, dude. | ||
| Just get one for me, will you, so I can come use it? | ||
| See if you can find the jetpack with the wings. | ||
| The guy flying a jetpack with wings. | ||
| Because I saw one of those, I was like, oh, this is next level jetpack. | ||
| Because this is like a movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then does he tip forward with the wings? | ||
| Or does he stay upright? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| This is a little different. | ||
| This guy's got a wingsuit on with some jet-powered jetpack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck! | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, that's so insane. | |
| That's nuts. | ||
| The wingsuit's insane, period. | ||
| Period. | ||
| My boy Andy Stumpf had the world record at one point for the longest wingsuit flight. | ||
| How long was it? | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| Oh my god, look at how high this dude is. | ||
| They dropped him out of space, though. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| Oh, Red Bull did that. | ||
| I saw that, right? | ||
| No, there's a different one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Maybe it was Red Bull. | ||
| Who did the Andy Stumpf one? | ||
| See, there was a big sponsor. | ||
| So you could find Andy Stumpf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because he was right. | |
| He was just outside of our... | ||
| World record... | ||
| Jump. | ||
| Wingsuit. | ||
| Squirrel suit. | ||
| I caught a squirrel suit. | ||
| Yeah, I think that was the one I saw. | ||
| He jumps out of like a little cage. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| That's Andy. | ||
| So... | ||
| Oh, this wasn't the one I saw, yeah. | ||
| I saw the one from space. | ||
| So he hops out this fucking thing... | ||
| And, you know, look how high he is. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| He's got oxygen on. | ||
| It's so high up there. | ||
| Andy's such a psycho. | ||
| He loves that shit. | ||
| 17.5 miles, jeez. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| He flew 17.5 miles in that squirrel suit. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Literally has oxygen on. | ||
| There's no air up there, bitch. | ||
| 35,000 feet. | ||
| 35,000 feet. | ||
| He's up there with a plane. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| Oh my god, he's going 141 miles an hour. | ||
| That's as fast as you drive a golf ball. | ||
| Yeah, dude, that's insane. | ||
| No, you were driving, what was your top one today? | ||
| 164. What is the fastest you've ever done? | ||
| I think the fastest on the track, man, was about 170, right around there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Like, what's top of the food chain, like, pro... | ||
| Look up what, I think, look up what, uh, yeah, I think Berkshire 225? | ||
| 25, I think so. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| He's a long drive guy, though. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Have you seen these guys? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I've seen those guys that do that thing where they step and they drive into it that, you know, those... | ||
| That's him. | ||
| Is that him? | ||
| Yeah, he's a long drive dude and he... | ||
| Show him in a long drive competition. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Go to a competition, Jamie, where he's outside, where you can see him hit it outside. | ||
| Like this, Joe. | ||
| Watch this ball flight. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I love the dude's hair. | ||
| 390 yards, Joe. | ||
| That's so ridiculous! | ||
| That's so far! | ||
| But this guy's swing speed is, look, you see it right there, 217. Oh my god. | ||
| Ball speed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Club is 150. They send him to Mesquite, Nevada, and they go down this range. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| And this Justin James cat, he got 390? | ||
| 390. So he's going to beat it. | ||
| He's got eight chances to beat it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But you only get eight balls. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| He has to beat it within this, otherwise he's out. | ||
| So that's why he'll take his time for a second and set up. | ||
| He's on a clock, but you know. | ||
| Bro, you gotta love the hair. | ||
| He just cut it, though, sadly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Yeah, he cut it. | ||
| Why would he do that? | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| Look at that main. | ||
| 460-yard drives here. | ||
| 460. What? | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch how he... | ||
| And it's got to be, Joe, inside these lines, too. | ||
| So you can't just hit it anywhere. | ||
| It's got to be within this field. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That was just a cold 415. Oh, my God. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And that's warming up. | ||
| He's just getting fucking started. | ||
| Now I understand why Tiger would blow his back out doing this. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| That's exactly why. | ||
| Now I get it. | ||
| So much torsion. | ||
| The best golfers in the world, you'll see, guys like Ricky Fowler, size-wise, I mean, they're skinny guys. | ||
| They're tiny guys, some of these guys. | ||
| But they can pipe it because it's all torqued. | ||
| It's all below. | ||
| A lot of guys think it's all upstairs. | ||
| Everybody wants it to be like you want to fucking hit. | ||
| You have a hammer, dude. | ||
| Everybody wants to go this way. | ||
| But the problem is it has so much to do with your lower body snapping you into the ball. | ||
| Probably the best. | ||
| Tiger says he's got the best swing. | ||
| Roy has the best swing. | ||
| And see how much torsion is in his lower body? | ||
| See that? | ||
| How he snaps his lower body through? | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Look at his technique, too. | ||
| Look at the finish of it. | ||
| It's funny that that other guy's so wacky. | ||
| I know, see? | ||
| When you see that, when you see that perfect technique. | ||
| Rory's top in the world. | ||
| That other guy is good, but he's nowhere near this. | ||
| That guy's good, but he's not... | ||
| This is different. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That guy's gonna make money and do well for the rest of his life, but... | ||
| Top, top shit. | ||
| Rory's gotta be... | ||
| It's almost like a difference to those dart guys. | ||
| It's just, if you throw a fastball baseball pitcher up there to just throw against them, but they're throwing those little darts at the thing, and the other guys just don't fast as fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is amazing watching people learn to do something that's really hard to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And getting really good at it. | ||
| When you watch someone do acrobatics, or you watch Cirque du Soleil, you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Absurd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| Have you seen the one where they jump in the water? | ||
| Which one? | ||
| The Cirque du Soleil... | ||
| LaRev. | ||
| Did you ever heard of this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Bro, I don't even know if it's around anymore, but when I went to Vegas one time, I got fucking baked out of my mind and went to see them. | ||
| And dude, I audibly, like an old lady, I'd be like, ah! | ||
| Because I got nervous. | ||
| They would jump in these little tiny, tiny holes from like 70 feet up, just into a little tiny... | ||
| But if they missed, they're dead. | ||
| The floor moves underwater. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So you'll watch it raise up underwater. | ||
| Shift Heights. | ||
| They'll climb up from one of the... | ||
| And acrobatically climb to the other one. | ||
| And then it'll drop into the water out of nowhere. | ||
| And then it'll raise up a little tiny window they have to dive into. | ||
| Dude, it's... | ||
| Have you seen... | ||
| La Rev, I think, is what it was called. | ||
| It will... | ||
| I don't know if it's around. | ||
| But if it's still around, go see it. | ||
| Because that was the wildest shit I've ever seen. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Every show... | ||
| To me has to be such a high level of precision. | ||
| There is no like... | ||
| You know when a band is like, dude, you missed that fucking... | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't miss shit. | ||
| You're not missing a chord. | ||
| It's your neck in the water. | ||
| I saw it years ago. | ||
| I saw the Beatles one at the Mirage. | ||
| Oh yeah, I think I saw that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's called Love. | |
| It's fucking great. | ||
| Dude's on rollerblades doing flips and shit too. | ||
| But it's the music. | ||
| It also, you sort of re... | ||
| Discover the music of the Beatles. | ||
| Like, you forget how good their music was sometimes. | ||
| So good. | ||
| And when you hear it in that amazing arena where they have the Cirque du Soleil and the sound is incredible and the visuals are incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like, these guys. | ||
| Unreal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn. | |
| You watched the documentary, I'm sure, and it was like... | ||
| What shocked me the most was how short of a time they were doing it. | ||
| This wasn't like a 30-year span where you're like, dude, the band made hits forever. | ||
| No, this was a little baby window they destroyed, and then poof, like that, it's gone. | ||
| Yoko Ono. | ||
| Came in and fucked it all up. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's my Bobby Lee, dude. | ||
| Came in and fucked it all up. | ||
| Did you ever read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers? | ||
| No, but I've heard you talk about it. | ||
| It's a great book. | ||
| And one of the chapters in the book is about the Beatles. | ||
| And it's about how the Beatles went to Hamburg, and they were playing in a strip club, and they were playing like eight hours a day. | ||
| So they were playing so much, and they were so tightly tuned. | ||
| They went back to Liverpool a couple of years later, and everybody was like, what the fuck happened? | ||
| They were just so tight and so smooth. | ||
| Did they go to Hamburg just to do a run, do a residency? | ||
| They went to work. | ||
| And so they're doing these shows, and they're performing together eight hours a day. | ||
| And so they're writing all these new songs, and they're performing, and I think they had to do covers, too. | ||
| And they're just fucking tightly... | ||
| Putting in their work, man. | ||
| Yeah, just like tightly coordinated, like Cirque du Soleil with music. | ||
| Watching Paul make, like, improv, so to speak, get back... | ||
| Watching that was... | ||
| I don't think I've ever seen any footage of something so magical happening that they were able to capture. | ||
| When he's like... | ||
| When you hear him just humming out what he thinks the words might be... | ||
| Dude, I was like... | ||
| We're witnessing little magic go off in his brain. | ||
| You're watching his synapses fire into being like... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Get back! | ||
| Get back! | ||
| And you see, once he finds it, everything else kind of like, it's almost like when you're tripping and you see one thing and then it exposes all this other stuff and you're like, I see all of it now. | ||
| That's exactly what that looked like to me, that he found Get Back and it was like, get back to where you once belong. | ||
| I was like, holy shit. | ||
| A lot of those guys do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rick Rubin talked about that on the podcast. | ||
| Humming it out. | ||
| They sort of like make up words and shit. | ||
| And then they start putting words where the sound is. | ||
| Yeah, that's wild. | ||
| Yeah, they just sort of like feel it. | ||
| They feel it. | ||
| Whatever the beat is, they start just talking over it and shit. | ||
| But then in my stony brain, I think, did their brain already know the words and they were just trying to find it? | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I always wondered that about Jay-Z. Jay-Z is so impressive. | ||
| The way he can ad-lib lyrics. | ||
| Rick Rubin was talking about how they'll play a beat and he'll go and listen to the beat and just flow with the beat. | ||
| It's stuff that he wrote for weeks and weeks. | ||
| But he never wrote anything down. | ||
| No! | ||
| That always blew my mind. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| Wild! | ||
| I sadly want him to have written one thing down. | ||
| That ability is incredible. | ||
| But then there's guys like Nas, who I think is the best lyricist ever. | ||
| And Nas writes things down. | ||
| And you can tell he writes things down. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because he'll do a rap backwards. | ||
| Remember that song, Reverse? | ||
| I love that song. | ||
| That song's incredible. | ||
| That is one of the most lyrically complicated and beautiful songs ever in the history of hip-hop. | ||
| And it also has the ability to just toss in there, he's getting a blowjob and throws up. | ||
| That's also my favorite. | ||
| He's a poet. | ||
| She spits the nut back into my dick. | ||
| The drink goes back into my cup. | ||
| I throw up. | ||
| Dude, it's so cool how he was able to tell that story backwards, but also still keep it in his vibe. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, he didn't break character. | ||
| It was still Nas telling a story like Nas would. | ||
| It didn't get corny at any point or, like, change shapes. | ||
| His new shit is great, too. | ||
| I love Nas. | ||
| He stays fantastic. | ||
| He stays relevant. | ||
| Like, if you're, like, a Nas fan, you will not be disappointed. | ||
| His new shit is just like his old shit. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| That was the hip-hop that I liked. | ||
| Jamie and I talk sometimes about hip-hop, but the new stuff, some new shit I like a lot, but, you know, stuff like Illmatic and... | ||
| Bro, his hip-hop is dead? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That song comes... | ||
| So good. | ||
| That song comes on, you're like, oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a few songs when they come on, I'm like, oh, shit. | ||
| You know, Gravel Pit by Wu-Tang Clan. | ||
| Oh, love. | ||
| When that song comes on, check out my Gravel Pit. | ||
| As soon as that comes on, that's like one of them songs that you just start moving. | ||
| It's classics. | ||
| Well, I had Feral Monch. | ||
| On tour, I would come out to Feral Monch, Simon Says. | ||
| Do you know that song? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know it, don't you? | |
| Let me hear it. | ||
| It's Dude. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure I know it. | ||
| Simon Says. | ||
| I come out to this song because I loved it so much. | ||
| But the crowd would lose their fucking mind. | ||
| This is from 13 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Trippy-ass music video. | ||
| I miss music videos. | ||
| This is MTV. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how I feel at shows. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get the fuck up. | |
| Simon says, get the fuck up! | ||
| Ugh! | ||
| Girls, rub on your titties! | ||
| That's my favorite line. | ||
| Yeah, fuck it! | ||
| I said it! | ||
| Rub on your titties! | ||
| So, I was coming out to this, and then for the special, I wanted to use it. | ||
| And DJ Premier, who is a fan of comedy and knows Segura, and I reached out to him out of the blue. | ||
| I was like, hey man, I hope I'm not crossing lines here. | ||
| Would it be cool if you reached out to Pharoah about me licensing that song for the special? | ||
| And it's widely known in the hip-hop world. | ||
| Most, like, old hip-hop heads, they love that song. | ||
| And I was like, I don't know if I can afford it or whatever, but would you mind? | ||
| And shout-out to him, because within seconds, Premiere was like, yo, reach out to him, here's the deal. | ||
| That intro is from Godzilla 1, like the original. | ||
| And he never cleared it. | ||
| 13, 15 years ago. | ||
| So the deal was, he's got the mechanics to the song, but can't license it out for stuff like this. | ||
| Let me hear that. | ||
| Have Godzilla walk out. | ||
| I want to see Godzilla anyway. | ||
| Who sampled? | ||
| You can see all the samples. | ||
| Right, you can see every single... | ||
| Who sampled it in their music. | ||
| I love that they sample in hip-hop. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| But the problem is, stuff like that didn't clear. | ||
| So long ago, it didn't clear. | ||
| So what ended up... | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Can you show me it, though? | ||
| Can you show me it when it happens? | ||
| Find the... | ||
| Stop. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Jamie, can you show me Godzilla coming out to that sound? | ||
| I want to see actual Godzilla. | ||
| Because it was so dumb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Godzilla. | |
| The actual Godzilla, if you go back and try to watch that, the idea that that's a monster movie, it's so goofy. | ||
| But it was crazy scary for people at the time. | ||
| People were like, oh shit! | ||
| It was amazing! | ||
| For people in 1960 or whenever Godzilla came out, I was like, what am I saying? | ||
| This is incredible! | ||
| Fire came out of his mouth, eh! | ||
| Yeah, it was so cool. | ||
| Yeah, and that sound was so, so, like, memorable, and so he didn't clear it, and then, you know, and Premiere was like, whatever I can do to help, you know, moving forward, and there's this other guy, RJ D2, who I loved, and ironically enough, I had wanted a song from him, and he was like... | ||
| I didn't clear that song. | ||
| And I was like, dude, the same shit! | ||
| So then he sent me a folder of unused beats. | ||
| He's like, I have stuff that I've made that I don't have and no one has, you know, that I still have. | ||
| He's like, do you want to hear someone? | ||
| He sent me one and that's one of the ones I chose. | ||
| And shout out to those guys for helping me out. | ||
| But it was so funny because he said the same thing. | ||
| He goes, dude, I was young when I did that. | ||
| We didn't clear shit. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| We were making dope shit, putting it out to the world. | ||
| And then sometimes... | ||
| They don't have lawyers to clear shit. | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| He's like, those labels, half those labels from back, they're all gone. | ||
| They dissipated, or they got bought, or... | ||
| How many great, great songs in hip-hop they sampled? | ||
| Old music, like old... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| James Brown tracks, and all kinds of shit. | ||
| I talked about William Bell. | ||
| I love William Bell. | ||
| If you don't know who he is, he's great. | ||
| And so many people have sampled him, but they sample, like, even a word. | ||
| Like, Tim Robinson, his show, I Think You Should Leave, which is fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He samples this, baby, baby, baby... | |
| And it's from William Bell's, a piece of his song that he looped and put over itself. | ||
| And like, it's just cool to see how many people pick apart these old things. | ||
| I love hearing it and finding it and be like, do you know who that is? | ||
| And when people are like, no, it's like, oh, that's Ann Peebles. | ||
| That's, you know, it's just great. | ||
| I love seeing where the samples came from. | ||
| Because it's like, man, how did they find that? | ||
| Or why that of all the shit that they turn into something else? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, there's an art to that, man. | ||
| Oh, it's beautiful. | ||
| A lot of those old hip-hop dudes used to have just enormous collections of records they would just listen to just to try to find samples. | ||
| Digging in the crates constantly to find something like that. | ||
| Do you find Godzilla's emergence? | ||
| No, that's it. | ||
| It's from a 1992 film. | ||
| That sound is? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, it's a 1992 Godzilla? | ||
| Probably a way better Godzilla. | ||
| It's from a soundtrack... | ||
| So it's not the original Godzilla? | ||
| The original... | ||
| So this says it's from... | ||
| Whether or not this is right or not, I guess we'll have to go into that. | ||
| Godzilla vs. | ||
| Mothra? | ||
| Yeah, this says it's from Godzilla vs. | ||
| Mothra, which came out in 1992. Okay. | ||
| And then I found that movie, but I have no idea where they would have used that 12-second sample, because it's on the soundtrack. | ||
| This is the whole movie of Godzilla vs. | ||
| Mothra? | ||
| Just show Godzilla coming out so that it happens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, let's see him. | |
| I guarantee... | ||
| There's a hard... | ||
| Hard to find it? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know where. | ||
| I've never seen this movie. | ||
| I've never seen it. | ||
| Godzilla vs. | ||
| Mothra from 1992. How many people saw this? | ||
| I don't know that they're going to play the soundtrack when it comes out. | ||
| I highly doubt it. | ||
| Let's find where- just so you can see what Godzilla- what did Godzilla look like in 92? | ||
| I didn't see this movie. | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't- it came out in Japan. | ||
| That's like- Right! | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| Like, he found a sample from fucking Japan from a Japanese movie. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| Oh, he looks terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. - You're in the background? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not even hurt! | |
| It's not even her. | ||
| It's gonna land. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have to stop it. | |
| That's one of the best parts about Godzilla's dubs. | ||
| The dubs are so terrible. | ||
| We have to do our best to find out where he's going. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| It's not even hurting him. | ||
| Here's Godzilla. | ||
| Oh, Godzilla's in a fight with Mothra. | ||
| Oh, Mothra's jizzing all over him. | ||
| Jizzing all over him, dude. | ||
| It's silk. | ||
| He's covered him with silk. | ||
| Imagine that's all it takes to fuck Godzilla up. | ||
| Just a little bit of silk. | ||
| He's all tapped out. | ||
| Oh my god, look how corny it looks. | ||
| And that's like the updated Godzilla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now go to the original Godzilla. | ||
| Go to the original Godzilla movie. | ||
| That looks so bad. | ||
| The Matthew Broderick one came out like four years after this, didn't it? | ||
| Right. | ||
| The Matthew Broderick movie was pretty good. | ||
| In terms of special effects. | ||
| It was a terrible movie. | ||
| But in terms of special effects, it was a pretty good movie. | ||
| He's got the downs. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's a meme. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mafra. | |
| This is from 1964? | ||
| Bro, look how bad this is! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god, this is so corny. | ||
| You can even hear the helicopter flying overhead that gives them the wind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You hear the helicopter? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look how corny Godzilla is! - - There it is in the background right there. | |
| It's a different version of it, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't don't don't When my daughters were really young when they were like four and six My wife was out of town, and I said do you guys want to watch a scary movie? | ||
| And they're like, no, we're scared. | ||
| I go, no, no, no, a bad scary movie, corny. | ||
| I want to show you a scary movie from the 1930s. | ||
| It's called King Kong. | ||
| And they're like, what is it? | ||
| I go, it's about a giant gorilla. | ||
| But I go, but the special effects are so bad, you're going to laugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so bad. | ||
| And so six-year-olds, right, from whatever, you know, six years ago, watching a movie that was a scary movie at the time. | ||
| At the time, yeah. | ||
| In 1933, when people saw King Kong for the first time, go to King Kong from 1933. When people saw that, whatever year it was, was it 33? | ||
| Am I making that up? | ||
| I want to say it predates World War II. People thought that was like the craziest shit they'd ever seen. | ||
| 33. What is it? | ||
| 33. 33. 1933 King Kong. | ||
| So go to 1933 King Kong and this is made with clay. | ||
| Look how bad this is. | ||
| So my kids thought it was hilarious. | ||
| I go, how bad does this look? | ||
| It looks so bad. | ||
| Like they weren't scared at all. | ||
| They were laughing and then they were relieved that it wasn't scary. | ||
| So then they started laughing really hard. | ||
| Look how corny this is. | ||
| But in 1933, they're like, I can't believe what we're seeing. | ||
| King Kong is actually fighting a dinosaur. | ||
| And there's a lady watching it? | ||
| But it's like, whenever you revisit that shit, when I was, I remember Babysitter showed me The Exorcist. | ||
| Far before I should have seen it. | ||
| And I remember how crazy, I thought that was insane. | ||
| That movie was so scary, it gave me nightmares. | ||
| Look at the new one. | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
| The new one's incredible. | ||
| That's what the ride is almost at Universal. | ||
| Isn't it hilarious how King Kong always falls in love with a white chick? | ||
| But look how badass this King Kong is. | ||
| This King Kong is incredible. | ||
| He'd have smushed her for sure. | ||
| And what year is this? | ||
| It says three years ago, but I don't know exactly if that's right. | ||
| 05? | ||
| Oh, five. | ||
| Yeah, I was gonna say, that looks like it might be a while ago. | ||
| Oh, now the newest shit's probably... | ||
| Yeah, they remade it again, I think. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, they did. | ||
| But then King Kong kept growing, because now King Kong has to fight Godzilla. | ||
| Godzilla's 500 feet tall. | ||
| Yeah, right, I saw that. | ||
| So the idea is that King Kong has, like, some sort of a genetic malformity that makes him just continue to grow forever and ever. | ||
| So now they don't visit Kong Island for a few years, and they come back and... | ||
| He's got a lump on his pituitary gland. | ||
| He just never stopped growing. | ||
| Yeah, so this is the regular-sized King Kong. | ||
| This is the 50-foot King Kong. | ||
| See, that looks fucking unreal. | ||
| Smash! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I mean, yeah, the fucking special effects are incredible. | ||
| It's so amazing what they do with CGI, but at the same time, you know that that's not real. | ||
| You feel it's not real. | ||
| It just feels fake. | ||
| That's what's like, people that do, like Rick Baker, those guys that did special effects for American Werewolf in London, they say that you can't replace the physical special effects where an actual object is attacking an actual person. | ||
| I remember that too. | ||
| When I was a kid, I thought that was... | ||
| I had nightmares of, like, stairs. | ||
| I hated stairs. | ||
| Yeah, it just freaked me out so much when I was a kid. | ||
| Back then, man, this movie freaked people out, dude. | ||
| They were so scared that their kids could get possessed by a devil. | ||
| She was so good. | ||
| I bought it. | ||
| I was like, that bitch is possessed. | ||
| I think that movie fucked her up. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| For the rest of her life? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Well, because she did it so young. | ||
| She's a kid in that movie. | ||
| It's like, to be in that mindset, 12 hours a day on set shooting... | ||
| Yelling, your mother sucks cocks in hell. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Your mother sucks cocks in hell! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Yeah, but you have to do that. | ||
| Was that 76? | ||
| What year was The Exorcist? | ||
| That's what happens to actors that get embedded in those things that go deep, deep, deep. | ||
| Sometimes the brain takes a while to get back. | ||
| I would imagine that if you're playing... | ||
| 73. 73. If you're a child and you're playing someone who's possessed by a demon... | ||
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| And you believe in demons when you're a child, too. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Do you believe in demons? | ||
| Still do, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| For sure. | ||
| They might be real. | ||
| They gotta be. | ||
| There's gotta be external forces around. | ||
| I can't imagine that all this energy in your body goes to nowhere. | ||
| I don't buy it. | ||
| Well, that's not even the question about demons. | ||
| Where your energy goes is a really good question. | ||
| But the question about demons is, are there external forces that are playing against you? | ||
| They're actual entities. | ||
| But I think negative energy goes into those things. | ||
| That's what I guess I mean. | ||
| I think what builds those things is negative, really toxic, evil shit builds negative things. | ||
| In another dimension. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I definitely believe that. | ||
| And if you're doing evil shit, you're probably even more haunted by those things. | ||
| When you die, it doesn't just go away. | ||
| It goes somewhere, into a thing. | ||
| I wholeheartedly believe that. | ||
| And honestly, the first time I really felt Like when I saw, you know, the Irish, for some reason, we love wakes. | ||
| We like to see people when they're dead. | ||
| I like how the Jews do it. | ||
| They're like, I'm not fucking looking at that person when they're dead. | ||
| I had the same experience. | ||
| I know what you're going to say. | ||
| And I couldn't look at my grandmother the whole time. | ||
| And then my mom was like, we're going to leave, so you ought to say goodbye. | ||
| And I was like, alright. | ||
| And I walked up there, and I felt this sense of relief because I was like, oh, the thing I loved isn't even in there anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This was a vessel. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And whatever was in there is somewhere better, and I felt immediately like this weird, like someone was telling me like, this is just the shell, man. | ||
| The thing you like, it's in a really great place. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the weirdest part about seeing someone dead, is this feeling that they've left. | ||
| Yeah, they're not in there. | ||
| Yeah, they're not in there. | ||
| Did you see this, the Pope? | ||
| Whoa, is this the new Pope? | ||
| Yeah, he passed away, they did the funeral, and they brought him out without a coffin and left him on display. | ||
| That's dark. | ||
| Pope don't need no coffin! | ||
| That's dark. | ||
| Everyone came up and kissed his hands and stuff. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| That is a crazy gig. | ||
| That guy had the craziest past. | ||
| Pope Benedict? | ||
| He had the craziest past because he was charged with moving priests around that had committed atrocities. | ||
| And he moved one to a place where they molested a hundred deaf kids. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| A hundred deaf kids? | ||
| A hundred deaf kids got molested by this one priest that he had moved, I believe when he was a cardinal. | ||
| No, you don't hear him coming. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| You can't even help yourself. | ||
| Cut it out. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| But the new one's supposed to be chill, right? | ||
| Well, I think he had to take it down a notch, so the new one got, you know, fucking a regular throne. | ||
| He's like, this gold throne's a little outdated. | ||
| And he's like pro-gay marriage and all that stuff. | ||
| Well, that's nice. | ||
| A little bit more than 100. 200 Def Kits. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The priest might have molested 200 deaf boys. | ||
| Top Vatican officials, including future Pope Benedict XVI, did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church, according to the files. | ||
| Recently unearthed as part of a lawsuit. | ||
| Imagine your concern is embarrassing the church. | ||
| Not that this guy is fucking kids. | ||
| Imagine! | ||
| Yeah, we don't want the church to look bad. | ||
| Imagine your concern, and not one guy, but multiple bishops, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Have you been to the Vatican, by the way? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| On edibles. | ||
| Shit is dark. | ||
| I went there on edibles. | ||
| Did you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That shit creeped me out, dude. | ||
| The whole time I was like, I don't like this at all. | ||
| I just didn't like the fact that they were like, we have our own cops. | ||
| Well, no extradition. | ||
| We can do whatever we want. | ||
| They're basically a country inside of a city. | ||
| They have their own rules, their own laws. | ||
| And there's a bunch of people in there that people would like to try. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would like to pull them out of there and try them. | ||
| Can't do it. | ||
| For crimes against humanity. | ||
| Protected. | ||
| You saw that documentary about the little girl that went missing from the Vatican? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't even know what it's called, Jamie. | ||
| The girl who went missing is what I think my instinct is saying, but it's about a resident. | ||
| You know, there's a small amount of residents that live in the Vatican walls, in Vatican City. | ||
| Her family was one of them. | ||
| And this has got to be, I don't know, 30 years ago? | ||
| She went missing, and the story is fucking wild. | ||
| Yeah, it's called Vatican Girl. | ||
| I just Googled it two days ago. | ||
| It says they reopened the case, so I don't know. | ||
| Dude, you have to watch this. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| What do they think happened? | ||
| Well, there's a bunch of different conspiracies. | ||
| There's a bunch of different, like... | ||
| There is kind of a somewhat clear-cut answer in it, but there's multiple points where even they go, I don't know. | ||
| This may come from multiple avenues of... | ||
| This being a very well-coordinated thing. | ||
| Like a kidnapping. | ||
| And it's crazy. | ||
| And they just reopened it up. | ||
| Kidnapping from someone who lives in the Vatican? | ||
| I don't want to tell you. | ||
| The family lived there. | ||
| It says there might have been a kidnapping to blackmail the Pope at the time. | ||
| There's a bunch of different theories, and as you watch it, they talk about multiple theories about what it's like. | ||
| But also, the crazy thing is, you'd think if you lived in the Vatican, you're living high on the hog. | ||
| No. | ||
| These people were commoner, lower class to lower middle class. | ||
| It's not because they're in there. | ||
| You're not automatically living like a king. | ||
| If you're just a citizen... | ||
| So were they help? | ||
| Did they work there? | ||
| Yeah, they were workers. | ||
| They were workers. | ||
| Oh, so the workers lived there. | ||
| But they don't treat them any kind of... | ||
| It's like they all live pretty, you know... | ||
| Modestly. | ||
| Modestly. | ||
| And your family's born into it, so you're kind of born in it. | ||
| And this girl was... | ||
| She would go to a school outside of the Vatican walls. | ||
| Like a performance art school, if I'm not mistaken. | ||
| And, you know, a regular route. | ||
| From there to there, there to there, there to there. | ||
| And then one day... | ||
| Oh, here's why. | ||
| The Pope's longtime secretary is about to release a book this week. | ||
| Ruh-roh. | ||
| And that's why they may have an investigation. | ||
| He's got information on it that's going to come out in the book. | ||
| About that girl? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck. | |
| It's wild. | ||
| This is two days ago that she just started popping up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I don't care if I didn't see it. | ||
| Top of the thing. | ||
| Vatican reopens investigation. | ||
| That's her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Emanuela. | ||
| In 1983 she went missing. | ||
| Orlandi. | ||
| 40 years ago, yeah. | ||
| They've gotten away with so much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sketchy. | |
| They've gotten away with so much. | ||
| So sketchy. | ||
| I mean, I know everybody wants to concentrate, and rightly so, on Epstein Island, but how about the Vatican? | ||
| How about just the entire... | ||
| You could be a person who doesn't know how to read, and you know that priests fuck kids. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Someone that's barely heard of it's like, oh, I did hear about those guys. | ||
| Everybody knows that that's a problem. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| It's not like NASCAR drivers. | ||
| Imagine if NASCAR drivers were known for molesting children. | ||
| You'd be like, that is cool. | ||
| Why is that still a thing? | ||
| It's part of a culture, man. | ||
| Forever people knew that priests fuck kids. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's never happened to me, but I've had multiple friends that were in Catholic school. | ||
| They got chased by a priest. | ||
| This one guy went on a retreat with his priest, and the priest made him sleep in the bed with him, and he was chasing him around the room. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| And he had to literally fight off the priest and scream, and he wouldn't give in. | ||
| What was the name of the movie that exposed all that stuff? | ||
| You know, about the newspaper. | ||
| Mark Ruffalo? | ||
| What? | ||
| Am I crazy? | ||
| Why can't I think of the name of that fucking... | ||
| Boston newspaper? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, there's so many. | ||
| And it was a real story where the Boston Globe... | ||
| Spotlight. | ||
| And they went out of their way to expose them in real life. | ||
| They made a movie about it, but it's like, didn't even do anything. | ||
| Didn't do shit. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| A credible newspaper was like, we have unbelievable amounts of evidence. | ||
| And still, it's like, well, what are you going to do? | ||
| They don't even lose their tax-free exemption. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Nothing happens. | ||
| The tax-free thing is wild because when Scientology got it, you're like, yo! | ||
| What is this? | ||
| What is this thing? | ||
| No taxes if you claim that you're a religion? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know how many fucking religions there could be? | ||
| This is a religion. | ||
| You could say your show is a religion. | ||
| Hardly. | ||
| But there you go. | ||
| You have loyal listeners. | ||
| So what? | ||
| It's just conversations. | ||
| But that could be a religion. | ||
| There's no rules. | ||
| How do you apply to make a religion? | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Listen, stop fucking with me. | ||
| This is a religion. | ||
| You know it is. | ||
| You know it's like an inch away from being one. | ||
| You could just say, you have followers. | ||
| They listen to you. | ||
| They like what you put out. | ||
| Doesn't mean you have to have some sort of like spiritual ideology. | ||
| Religion could be anything. | ||
| This could slot as a religion. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It just means a bunch of people listen to a uniform thought process if you put out like a continual thing. | ||
| I don't think you need a book. | ||
| I don't think you need shit. | ||
| You know Alex Gray? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| The visionary artist? | ||
| I'm sure you've seen his work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| In every dorm room wall of someone who smokes weed, they have an Alex Gray poster. | ||
| It's Jad or Justin Bua, the piano guy. | ||
| That was also in the dorm rooms. | ||
| This is Alex Gray. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You've seen his work. | ||
| Well, Alex Gray started a religion, like a legitimate religion. | ||
| He's a really spiritual person. | ||
| Legitimately, when you meet him, you're blown away. | ||
| He's the real deal. | ||
| And he has a church that he built that is designed around his art. | ||
| And he got tax-exempt status. | ||
| It's called Entheon. | ||
| That's the church. | ||
| Like, this is the place. | ||
| Like, how amazing is that? | ||
| Where is that? | ||
| It's in upstate New York. | ||
| So he bought land, and then he set it up for a church, made it tax-exempt. | ||
| You've got to see what it looks like on the outside. | ||
| I mean, this is the inside. | ||
| It's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| Because it's a church that's designed by an amazing artist. | ||
| That's the outside of it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Entheon. | ||
| Play that video. | ||
| Yeah, go full screen, please. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And you know, this guy's been an incredible artist forever. | ||
| But he had, the first time he came on the podcast, he had just the idea for this. | ||
| So all those faces all around it, it's all from his artwork and it all had to be 3D designed. | ||
| That's him and his wife. | ||
| And so this is him and his wife and his paintings. | ||
| So they have like fucking yoga classes there and shit. | ||
| They're like a real church. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I mean, imagine going into the woods with all these hippies, and you go do yoga in that place with this guy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And you're all chanting and shit. | ||
| And he's a real deal. | ||
| He's not trying to rip people off. | ||
| He's just a genuinely beautiful person who's an amazing artist, who's created a real church. | ||
| They play music, and they get together. | ||
| It's not like he gets to fuck everybody's wife. | ||
| It's a regular church. | ||
| I hope it stays that way. | ||
| Yeah, it will. | ||
| Because this story sometimes goes the wrong way. | ||
| They almost always go the wrong way. | ||
| It goes to a place where it's like, he got the power and he was like, all right, we have to pray naked. | ||
| And then someone's got to sit on my face. | ||
| And then we need to protect ourselves from the government. | ||
| We gotta kill everybody we know that doesn't like us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want it to go down that road. | ||
| But they almost always do. | ||
| Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| As I'm watching that, the whole time I'm like, I know he's your boy. | ||
| I hope it stays this way. | ||
| I hope it doesn't shift into something I don't want it to be. | ||
| I watched the, you know, NXIVM or whatever. | ||
| I watched that one. | ||
| I didn't see that one, but I heard it's wild. | ||
| Bro, it's just, you're like... | ||
| Also, the women's empowerment one, that was another one that was nuts. | ||
| What's that one? | ||
| This woman in San Francisco had started, you know, like a sexual revolution club, a freedom for women to be the powerful versions of themselves. | ||
| She gets to bang everybody's husband. | ||
| Yes, she fucks everybody. | ||
| By the end, she fucked the whole crew. | ||
| It was all see-through. | ||
| She was like, this is for women to take back their empowerment. | ||
| It was in San Francisco, I think. | ||
| And she was extremely manipulative and intelligent. | ||
| The way she would break down people's relationships into... | ||
| Joining her ideology about sex and love and relationships, they would just snap into her thing. | ||
| And it was all about making a woman come. | ||
| The whole thing was about, can you make your woman come and make that the priority? | ||
| But then, after a couple years, she's like, I want to suck a couple dicks. | ||
| She let a couple dicks in and then it all led down the same road, dude. | ||
| It all goes down to the same place. | ||
| Power. | ||
| They love the power. | ||
| Well, it's also, if you're a person who doesn't... | ||
| You have a hard time knowing who you are. | ||
| Maybe you think you're more than you are or you want more than you're getting. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you're in this position where people revere you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's intoxicating. | ||
| And then you're literally speaking at a church. | ||
| You're speaking to your flock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's why they made Catholic priests celibate. | ||
| I think they were probably banging everybody back in the day. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| They were rock stars. | ||
| Like, Giancarlo, you're fucking way too many of the members. | ||
| What? | ||
| What do I do wrong? | ||
| What do I do wrong? | ||
| You're talking about Italians, first of all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Savages. | |
| Savage people. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| And then you're talking about Italians from a thousand years ago, even more savage. | ||
| And then you're talking about the one dudes who could read Latin. | ||
| So they're reading the Bible. | ||
| No one else even knows what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Until Martin Luther came along. | ||
| And translated the Bible into phonetic languages. | ||
| What is it, German first? | ||
| Did Martin Luther convert it to... | ||
| He translated it into German, I think. | ||
| I forget what language it was, but he translated the Bible so that regular people who could read could read it, because they didn't know Latin. | ||
| And then he basically said you should interpret the Bible any way you see fit. | ||
| The Bible's there for you to interpret it, which was a fucking horrific affront to the Catholic Church. | ||
| The Catholic Church freaked out. | ||
| Like, all the churches back then probably wanted to kill him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was it the Catholic church that he did it to? | ||
| Whatever church it was. | ||
| Protestant? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not sure what church it was. | ||
| But he spoke Latin, you know, and he translated. | ||
| The priests were the ones, like, you had to have formal training. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Latin, even back then, was a dying language. | ||
| Even when there's people that still study it today, which is fucking wild. | ||
| Latin's wild. | ||
| What if they bring it back, though, huh? | ||
| Oh, it'd be a great thing to learn. | ||
| You can have conversations to people in Latin. | ||
| Behind somebody's back. | ||
| I wonder how well you can communicate with it. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there's enough... | ||
| Well, you can't use any... | ||
| Of course, there's no slang in it, but you can make up new slang, Latin... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The gabagool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The gabagool. | |
| Get a little fucking bush of dush. | ||
| Strew your dell. | ||
| Strew your dell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You have to throw a dell. | ||
| They've got shit for that, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if they brought Latin back. | ||
| Well, what's stopping someone from inventing a new language and everyone adopting it? | ||
| There's two guys talking. | ||
| You're talking in Latin? | ||
| Yeah, well, let's talk about this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, hello, hello, Luke. | |
| Thank you so much for coming on today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sounds Chinese. | |
| Let me hear it. | ||
| That was that guy's name, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you seen your videos online in Latin? | |
| Thank you, friends. | ||
| My name is Lucius Amadeus Ranieri. | ||
| I'm born in Pennsylvania. | ||
| I'm born 366 years. | ||
| And I'm a YouTuber, and you are on my channel. | ||
| I'm happy to be here. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I know some of that. | ||
| There's a little bit of Italian in there. | ||
| Yeah, I hear a bunch of it. | ||
| I took two years in high school. | ||
| Some of it makes sense, but it's also... | ||
| Spanish makes more sense, too. | ||
| You have to sound like a cartoon version whenever I read it. | ||
| I immediately my voice goes like... | ||
| Did I ever tell you a time I encountered this church that was trying to get me to join when I was in college? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| I was taking Italian and there's people in this Italian class with me and there was this one hot Puerto Rican girl. | ||
| She wore glasses. | ||
| She was smoking. | ||
| There's always one. | ||
| She was so hot I couldn't talk to her. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I didn't have much confidence about that. | ||
| And she invited me one day to go with her and her friends to some weekend retreat. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| What are you guys doing? | ||
| I didn't know it was like a religious retreat. | ||
| She's trying to convert me. | ||
| And I thought I was just getting invited to this cool kids party. | ||
| I'm like, well, I can't this weekend, but, you know, maybe another time I could do it. | ||
| You know, like that weekend, I think I had a tournament or something like that. | ||
| It was when I was still competing. | ||
| And then, like a couple of weeks later, we're in the... | ||
| Actually, I think I was done doing fighting. | ||
| I think I was doing stand-up at the time. | ||
| So there's something going on. | ||
| I had a gig maybe. | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| I'm trying to remember what year it is because now I'm thinking it's like 89. Maybe even 90. So there was a plane crash and it was Trump's airplane. | ||
| It was like Trump Airlines and it crashed in Boston and like the front wheels didn't come down. | ||
| So they had to like skid into the runway with sparks and shit. | ||
| So I see them all eating and they invite me over to their table. | ||
| What year is this? | ||
| 89. So it's perfect. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's right after I stopped fighting. | ||
| Maybe I was fighting a little bit and then right when I just started doing stand-up. | ||
| And there was this table full of them, and they come sit with us. | ||
| I'm like, okay, cool. | ||
| I go, hey, you guys hear about the plane crash? | ||
| And they go, no. | ||
| I go, yeah, the fucking front wheels didn't come down, the plane skid, there were sparks and everything. | ||
| And they're all staring at me. | ||
| I go, but nobody died. | ||
| And then that hot Puerto Rican girl goes, praise God, praise God. | ||
| And they all started going, praise God, praise God. | ||
| And I was like, praise God. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And then immediately I'm like, duh, stupid. | ||
| She doesn't like you. | ||
| She doesn't like you. | ||
| She wants to convert you to her fucking wacky Christian cult. | ||
| Yeah, but if the pussy was good enough, you know, you might as well go to the can. | ||
| Just go check it out. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Do a trial run. | ||
| I was scared. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's too susceptible. | ||
| Well, Jesus lets them in the booty. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| You could always do booty stuff. | ||
| That's the Catholic loophole. | ||
| I don't think that's written anywhere. | ||
| I think someone can refute that. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| I think it's in Corinthians. | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| 413. First or second letter. | ||
| I think it's, yeah. | ||
| Thou shall enter booty. | ||
| It's literally sodomy. | ||
| It's literally Sodom and Gomorrah. | ||
| That's why he killed everybody. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Everybody's all butt-fucking. | ||
| Tight it up. | ||
| That's a wrap. | ||
| Keep it tight, baby. | ||
| Keep it tight back there. | ||
| No, that's the... | ||
| Who does it? | ||
| That's a loophole? | ||
| No, no, yeah. | ||
| Who does it? | ||
| The Mormon kids, they do the soaking and then they do the bouncing. | ||
| The soaking is hilarious. | ||
| And you know about the bouncing. | ||
| You know this, right? | ||
| No, it's the bouncing. | ||
| Somebody goes underneath. | ||
| I don't know what it's called. | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| Jamie knows. | ||
| Somebody gets onto the bed when someone's soaking and they push the bed so there's movement. | ||
| So it's almost as if they're fucking, but they aren't making the movement. | ||
| Oh my God, that's hilarious. | ||
| This is legit. | ||
| What's it called, Jamie? | ||
| Jump humping. | ||
| Jump humping. | ||
| Someone else jumps on the bed to get to bed. | ||
| Like you're trying to double-bounce someone on a trampoline so they'll start moving. | ||
| No, people find loopholes. | ||
| Jump-humping, dude. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| Warman Teens on TikTok, see that? | ||
| Jump-humping. | ||
| Finding themselves jump-humping, a tactic used to avoid thrusting during penetrative sex. | ||
| Because the thrusting, I think the thrusting is what is prohibited. | ||
| So you can soak. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| No in-and-out movement, but the jump-humpers. | ||
| It's amazing that you can soak. | ||
| You can soak. | ||
| I think they found the loophole, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
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You can soak. | |
| Soaking is amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jump-humping is so funny. | ||
| When you were a teenager, you were like, soaking, we're good. | ||
| I don't need to move. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, also, but immediately you put it in. | ||
|
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And you're like, I'm gone. | |
| Yeah, it's so dangerous. | ||
| And that's when kids, like, when teenagers are having sex with each other, they're at their most fertile and they're at their least control. | ||
| Yeah, that's why you're pregnant. | ||
| They're like, we just had sex once. | ||
| It's like, you're pregnant. | ||
| That's why you're pregnant. | ||
| Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes. | ||
| Because your body is just like, okay. | ||
| And so I'm dumb. | ||
| And the moment as a kid, as a dude, the first time you fuck, you're just like... | ||
| Well, what's nuts is that that's how the body's designed. | ||
| Like, you are your most fertile, and you're the most likely to conceive. | ||
| And it's also like, that's what nature wants. | ||
| Nature wants you to have sex when you're a fucking kid. | ||
| You're 16! | ||
| That's because we weren't supposed to last more than 20 years. | ||
| I think nature was like, get this done now, you're dead in a decade. | ||
| No, but we haven't adapted to that yet. | ||
| We haven't adjusted. | ||
| Do you think that will ever catch up? | ||
| How could it? | ||
| It would take so long. | ||
| It's not like people are going to stop humping. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, chemically, I don't know what would change... | ||
| You would have to almost delay puberty, but then when you would fuck up people's development, like, what could you do? | ||
| Because there's a, you know, there's a window when your hormones, you're growing and your hormones are kicking in and all this stuff is kind of synced normally by nature. | ||
| If you interfere with that because you think the kids can't handle having sex, like, you're gonna delay, what are you gonna delay puberty? | ||
| Like, until they're smart enough? | ||
| Well, you're not even smart enough when you're in your 20s. | ||
| No, you're not smart enough. | ||
| No one's smart enough. | ||
| It never kicks in. | ||
| Well, that's what's wild about humans, right? | ||
| There's this clear biological imperative to procreate, and it kicks in when you have no business teaching a kid life. | ||
| To raise a child when you're 15, and the husband's 15, and you're 15, and you just gave birth to a baby, and you're a baby! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that 16 and Pregnant show or whatever. | ||
| It's like when it works, you're happy because you're like, the kid might turn out to have a nice life. | ||
| But when you see that goes awry, it's sad as shit. | ||
| Because a lot of times it's bound to lose, you know? | ||
| But then, sometimes you wait too long and it gets harder to have kids. | ||
| I've dealt with that. | ||
| It's wild how your body sometimes, or the body is like... | ||
| You missed the window. | ||
| Maybe you missed the window. | ||
| Yeah, but then they have in vitro fertilization. | ||
| Yeah, science fixes all that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they're developing the concept, at least, of artificial wombs. | ||
| And they think that there will be a time where they'll be able to have babies outside of a human body. | ||
| Just growing next to you in your house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How far away is that? | ||
| Because I read something recently on this as a concept that they think that – but then like what is the baby getting from the mother in terms of like emotions and feeling and like babies are – Empathic, right? | ||
| They're feeling the mother's stress. | ||
| Your cortisol raises when your mother's under stress. | ||
| It's probably lessons. | ||
| You're learning things from the mother. | ||
| Just from feelings. | ||
| Instinctual stuff kicks in. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| It's got to be based on diet and your lifestyle schedule and the way that you operate has to influence the way that the... | ||
| Can you imagine if they made babies in an artificial womb and the babies just came out soulless? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| It's very stiff. | ||
| Yeah, and then the scientists say, well, actually, we've discovered the soul's real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it only comes from the mother into the baby, and it comes while the baby's inside the mother. | ||
| That's actually a great movie. | ||
| They think that actually, that was like an ancient belief that the soul entered the body at a certain time. | ||
| Now, I'm thinking about it. | ||
| I think it was like six weeks. | ||
| There was like... | ||
| There was an ancient belief that there was a very specific time where the soul entered the body. | ||
| While you're in the womb? | ||
| Yeah, while the baby's in the womb. | ||
| So you're in there for six weeks, cooking. | ||
| At six weeks, that's when the soul shows up. | ||
| Is that what they think it was? | ||
| What was this ancient myth, belief, whatever? | ||
| Who knows if it's real? | ||
| I feel like it'd be right the moment that there's fertilization. | ||
| Aristotle believed it? | ||
| In the time of Aristotle is actually what it says. | ||
| So I entered the embryo at 40 days for a male and 90 days for a female. | ||
| Beat you there, girls. | ||
| I wonder why I waited. | ||
| Why they chill? | ||
| They're fucking late. | ||
| They gotta do something. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Insolment. | ||
| And so that was just their belief. | ||
| Was it based on any thought? | ||
| This is Hippocrates. | ||
| Was the first to believe this? | ||
| Well, he's always contradicting himself. | ||
| The embryo was a product of male. | ||
| Hypocrisy is there. | ||
|
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|
Why are we... | |
| I wonder, why do you speculate we're 40 and they're 90? | ||
| Well, back then they probably didn't like girls. | ||
| Right, that's why. | ||
| These bitches are slow. | ||
| They don't even get their souls when we get our souls. | ||
| Give me the taste of the good stuff. | ||
| Yeah, baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These bitches are slow. | ||
| I mean, they probably, yeah, they probably was misogyny. | ||
| They probably get it before we do, if anything. | ||
| The artificial womb thing I found, 2019 there's an article that said they think they're 10 years away, but I dug through that real quick to find the person that was claiming that, and it turns out it's just like an artist. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It wasn't a group of scientists saying it was like an artist that says like, we might be there. | ||
| Hey man, artists are scientists. | ||
| That would scare the shit out of me if they started making people in a lab. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| You don't think they're doing that already? | ||
| I feel like they've got to be manipulating... | ||
| I bet in another country they're doing it. | ||
| I think we got our hands in there, baby. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| I think for sure. | ||
| You think like in Area 51? | ||
|
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|
For sure. | |
| You're out there making people? | ||
| Well, don't you think it was so funny that for how many years... | ||
| When you were a kid, for how many years did you hear about, you know, that alien life forms at Area 51, that's all bullshit, that's not what it... | ||
| And then now they're like, no, no, no, we... | ||
| There's some alien shit over there. | ||
| They don't say that. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| They say there's something unidentified. | ||
| They found things that they don't know really what it is, that they've experimented on, for sure. | ||
| I could tell you exactly what they've said. | ||
| What do they say? | ||
| I've talked to a lot of these guys. | ||
| What the government is admitting is that they believe that there are crafts that are operating that are outside of their understanding of physics. | ||
| They've never said that we have anything at all? | ||
| There have been people that have said, and this is a quote from the Pentagon, that there was off-world vehicles not from this earth. | ||
| But who said that quote is what I was always confused about. | ||
| It was like one of the top Pentagon officials. | ||
| It's like one of those things where it's like, wait a minute, who said that? | ||
| And what is the exact quote? | ||
| How did you exactly say it? | ||
| How much of this is clickbait? | ||
| But I've talked to multiple pilots that have had encounters. | ||
| I gotta know we got something. | ||
| And I don't know if it's ours, if it's a drone that we don't tell them about that moves in a way that defies our understanding of physics because it doesn't operate on a propulsion engine. | ||
| It operates on something that's completely new and unique. | ||
| And there have been thoughts about how a new and unique gravity-based propulsion system would work for decades. | ||
| Astrophysicist Eric W. Davis, who spent years working as a consultant for the Pentagon UFO program and is now a defense contractor, gave a classified briefing to the Defense Department on what he called off-world vehicles not made on this Earth. | ||
| In other words, spaceships. | ||
| The bombshell, quote, came in the latest UFO report from the New York Times, which has owned the beat for the past several years. | ||
| In December 2017, the paper reported on the existence of the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program, a Pentagon effort to investigate UFOs that was supposedly shuttered in 2012, but wasn't. | ||
| The article hailed as, a historical inflection point in our attitudes towards, our attitudes regarding UFOs, implied the same message that the most recent one does. | ||
| Basically, flying saucers are real. | ||
| Can I see a picture of Eric W. Davis? | ||
| Yeah, let's get a look at how much pussy Eric's got. | ||
| I want to see this cat. | ||
| I want to see his, I want to see how much I believe him based on his look. | ||
| Yes, let's just go just for his look. | ||
| Let's see what he looks like, just so I can see what he looks like. | ||
| Is that him? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's here in Austin. | ||
| Warp Drive Metrics. | ||
| Consulting for the Department of Defense. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Just go back and go to images, though. | ||
| Is that him? | ||
| Jamie, click on images so we can pick one for fun, you know? | ||
| Like, so we can make a... | ||
| Oh, that's him! | ||
| Dude, that is him! | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's your dog. | ||
| Off-world technology. | ||
| Okay, so based on that first picture in the Hawaiian shirt, do we believe it? | ||
| I'm a little skeptical. | ||
| I'm skeptical. | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| That Tommy Bahama's leading me down a weird line. | ||
| But if you were the Pentagon, you wanted to hire a guy. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| That is the guy. | ||
| Because you don't want any distractions. | ||
| You want a guy who's 100% invested. | ||
| So he was back then, too? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What year is that? | ||
| Is that Jacques Vallée? | ||
| It's like a white power. | ||
| Huntsville, Alabama? | ||
| Yeah, looks like it's him. | ||
| What is, is that Jacques Vallée with him? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Wait, do you know what's crazy about what I just said about you saying that too? | ||
| What? | ||
| In that photo, I was just joking around saying, like, it looks like he's throwing up like a white power symbol, this guy, like a Nazi salute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what's insane? | ||
| What? | ||
| Huntsville. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huntsville. | |
| That's where the KKK was started. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| Is that Jacques Vallée with him? | ||
| I think he's too old in that image. | ||
| I think he's too old in that image. | ||
| I played that gig in Huntsville. | ||
| Joe, we took a ride from Nashville down to Huntsville. | ||
| And the driver was a really cool dude, really nice guy. | ||
| And I was playing the Huntsville, you know, whatever's down there. | ||
| I don't know what it is down there in Alabama. | ||
| But you do like a one show after Nashville. | ||
| And we're driving and he's like, he's like, you know, NASA's right here. | ||
| And I was like, Oh, really? | ||
| He's like, right there, dude. | ||
| He won't see it. | ||
| Yeah, if we have time, for sure. | ||
| Drives by, seeing the outside of it. | ||
| You know, they have fucking, like, rockets outside. | ||
| It's dope as shit. | ||
| And I was like, whoa, this is so cool. | ||
| He's like, yeah, man, a lot of fucking nerds is gonna be at your show from there, I'm sure. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, hopefully. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, yeah, it's a cool little thing that they got plopped it right down here by us. | ||
| Down that road, KKK got started. | ||
| I was like, oh, what a juxtaposition of that to that. | ||
| He's like, yeah, you know, you know, not proud of it, but that's where it is. | ||
| I was like, so right there is NASA, like the most brilliant minds on Earth. | ||
| A mile away from the most chaotically stupid people on planet. | ||
| I was like, that's so... | ||
| It's like universal comedy given to the Earth, where it's like, NASA, complete insane shitheads a mile away from each other. | ||
| Where it was birthed. | ||
| Yeah, where it was birthed. | ||
| And I asked him if it was still over there, and he's like, I don't know, but I don't know. | ||
| And I was like, okay. | ||
| So, yeah, they're there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine if you were working on a base... | |
| And they brought in some shit. | ||
| Imagine if you're one of the guys that's... | ||
| Someone's gotta move those things around. | ||
| They're not having the eggheads move them around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They're gonna have guys like you and me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you and me were working on some fucking Air Force Base, top secret clearance... | ||
| We'd be moving the shit. | ||
| We know how to shut the fuck up because all our phones are bugged. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, like, they bug everything. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| They bug your house. | ||
| Make sure you're not talking to any shit. | ||
| You're not saying nothing. | ||
| Put a chip in your neck. | ||
| And then they wheel in this burnt-up UFO. They're like, what is this? | ||
| And they're like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| I think I'll let anybody see that shit. | ||
| Well, someone has to move it in. | ||
| No, those guys do, but they tell your boss to get the fuck out of the building. | ||
| Right, but if you're one of those guys that has to move it in. | ||
| Oh, those guys. | ||
| Somebody has to move it in. | ||
| They're not going to get the eggheads to move the thing. | ||
| Oh, that's not that they're talking about the eggheads. | ||
| Like, what are they doing? | ||
| No, if you have an enormous fucking spaceship, and you're a guy like you and I were in maintenance in Area 51. We definitely are in maintenance, dude! | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| I'm cranking away at something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you're like, come on, brother. | ||
| You gotta help me move this fucking thing out this van. | ||
| We gotta move this thing. | ||
| And we get it. | ||
| It's got like a low hum to it. | ||
| Just putting out a cigarette next to it. | ||
| I don't know if it's gonna be near it. | ||
| Set it down there. | ||
| It's covered in fucking soot and dirt and shit. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| It's dripping. | ||
| It crashed in the North Pole. | ||
| Yeah, it's dripping. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's leaking. | ||
| Something's leaking out of it. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Like it's oil or some shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Are you testing it? | ||
| Yeah, I'd taste it. | ||
| You wouldn't taste it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'd taste it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| How much would that change your life if you saw a spaceship from another planet? | ||
| Like, for sure, from another planet. | ||
| The problem is, this is the never-ending, who's going to believe you? | ||
| Because then you automatically become like the, I'm dead serious. | ||
| And everybody's like, all right, dude. | ||
| You become that guy. | ||
| So you'd have to be... | ||
| No, there is no way. | ||
| It's like a never-ending, who's going to believe you? | ||
| Because even people that really love you, your wife, like someone that's like, that knows you the best would be like, babe, is everything okay? | ||
| You're like, no, I'm serious. | ||
| Yeah, they would start thinking you're cracking. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, you're losing it. | ||
| They would tell their friends. | ||
| I don't know what's been going on. | ||
| Interchanges medications. | ||
| He's seeing things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was like, I don't know why this shot into my brain, but there was a great documentary about a retirement community in Florida. | ||
| And at this point in his life, the dude decided to start experimenting with drugs because he's like, fuck it, dude, I'm old. | ||
| Yeah, he's 80. Yeah, and he was like, I don't give a shit. | ||
| And the poor wife would be like... | ||
| There's a scene where she's like... | ||
| They're both sweet from the South. | ||
| And she's like, what are you going to do? | ||
| And he opens the door and he's baked out of his mind. | ||
| He goes, don't come in here. | ||
| I'm going to be jerking off. | ||
| He closes the door on her. | ||
| And you can tell... | ||
| She looks at the... | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it's called. | ||
| Some kind of heaven. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| Brother, it's so fucking... | ||
| This is such a great, beautiful docuseries about what it's like to live in one of these retirement... | ||
| That's him. | ||
| He's punching himself, dude. | ||
| Oh my god, with a kung fu outfit on. | ||
| That guy looks like a party. | ||
| Dude, he's awesome. | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| This is all in Florida at this resort. | ||
| Oh, and they're all doing karate together and working out. | ||
| That looks like fun. | ||
| So it's a High-end resort, you pay this huge fee to get in, right? | ||
| And there's monthly fees. | ||
| You do stuff. | ||
| Everything's included, though. | ||
| But it's very promotional of active elderly. | ||
| So they're like, this isn't like a common hospice. | ||
| It's like, are you young enough to want to still go out and fuck and go drink and party? | ||
| And they all go there to party. | ||
| And this dude, he found cocaine, by the way, which is... | ||
| Donuts. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| He's driving a golf cart he's just ripped out of his head. | ||
| Here's another documentary about it called Golf, Booze, and Guns Inside the Boomer Paradise. | ||
| It's awesome, dude. | ||
| That looks like fun. | ||
| That's where I'd want to go. | ||
| When we get old as fuck, dude, we should start our own. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| All old comics. | ||
| You know how much fun we would have? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yes, dude. | ||
| It's kind of what we're doing here. | ||
| Yeah, this is kind of it. | ||
| This is my retirement. | ||
| We've got a lot of young guys here, too, though. | ||
| Dude, you guys do. | ||
| We've got a lot coming up. | ||
| The scene out here is moving heavy. | ||
| It's wild, isn't it? | ||
| I'm not trying to spread rumors, but old Joey DeRosa is going to be here this week, and he told me he wants to fucking move here. | ||
| I don't know if he's gonna, but I love Joe. | ||
| I'll tell him I'll open up a sandwich shop with him. | ||
| Dude, he might jump all over that. | ||
| Let's go, Joe. | ||
| I told him, I said, are you really going? | ||
| I texted him this morning, and he's like, where are you? | ||
| I said, I'm in Austin. | ||
| He's like, I'll be there in three days. | ||
| I was like, I'm out of here. | ||
| I'm sorry, man. | ||
| And he genuinely, I think he genuinely has this interest. | ||
| I would bug him about it. | ||
| I don't eat sandwiches, but I would eat one of his sandwiches. | ||
| No, they're great. | ||
| If I wanted to take, like, a cheap meal and feel like shit for 12 hours? | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| His fucking sandwiches look incredible. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it's so good. | ||
| The problem is, it's a bar, too, so, you know, old spotty liver over here. | ||
| I have to have a couple every time I go. | ||
| Look at his sandwiches. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They're delicious. | ||
| What is that one? | ||
| Peanut butter and jelly. | ||
| Oh my god, that looks incredible. | ||
| Yeah, with Ruffles, original. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| There's no health involved in his food. | ||
| His food is all about mouth pleasure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It looks fantastic though. | ||
| His subs look insane. | ||
| It's... | ||
| What's it called again? | ||
| Joey Roses? | ||
| Joey Roses, yeah. | ||
| I was just there. | ||
| I hear nothing but great things. | ||
| Just over there with him. | ||
| I hear the huge sandwiches, too. | ||
| They are. | ||
| And it's a great little spot. | ||
| I think it's in the East Village. | ||
| I love when a comic does something off the wall like that. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Trying shit is nice. | ||
| It's like, give it a fuck. | ||
| Why not? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, you know like a good buddy of mine, a comic, he's building a club. | ||
| It's a good thing. | ||
| It's gonna be good. | ||
| It's you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're my buddy. | ||
| Okay, I was confused. | ||
| I'm not building it. | ||
| I just paid people to do it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's right. | ||
| They're doing an amazing job. | ||
| I got to have a sneak peek, man. | ||
| It looks good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we're close. | |
| I'm excited. | ||
| I told you, though, without giving anything away about it, but like... | ||
| That kill room, that little room. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's what Bobby Kelly calls a kill box. | ||
| That's a kill box. | ||
| You know, like his special called Kill Box? | ||
| Because that's how he designed the room. | ||
| I walked in. | ||
| I knew right away. | ||
| I was like, this will be the thing. | ||
| You can feel... | ||
| It's something about certain rooms... | ||
| Somebody asked me one time on a show, on a podcast about, a guy who wasn't a comic was like, what makes a good room? | ||
| And I go, honestly, I can name you physical elements, but sometimes, I don't know, some things are a feeling where you're like, wow, something hits. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I can tell you why we like low ceilings and why we like the way it's situated, but there's just rooms around the country. | ||
| You know that when you go in, you're like, wow, I fucking love. | ||
| There's also old buildings. | ||
| Well, yeah, the history does something to make it feel... | ||
| There's something about old buildings, yeah. | ||
| Like when you and I came back here before, when I was running around with you and we played the old Cap City... | ||
| I remember you being like, oh man, I fucking love the vibration of this room. | ||
| And it was something about, I don't know, I couldn't tell you. | ||
| Been around for decades. | ||
| Just has a, there's something in the guts of it. | ||
| You know, I tried to buy that place. | ||
| The old Cap City? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, they wanted too much money for it. | ||
| It was like the whole mall. | ||
| It was like, there was a lot of work involved and it was not in town. | ||
| The whole situation was not ideal. | ||
| And so I decided not to go with that, and then I went with another one, another place that turned out to be a former cult owned it. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's right! | ||
| Yes, and I didn't know, like, the extent of the cult. | ||
| I had heard it was a cult. | ||
| What kind of cult? | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| And then I watched a documentary called Holy Hell. | ||
| It's on Amazon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The guy who ran the cult fucked everybody, including the guys. | ||
| He would charge the guys for therapy, charge them 50 bucks for therapy, and then he would fuck them. | ||
| Fucked everybody. | ||
| It's a part of therapy. | ||
| And this guy was like a low-rent actor. | ||
| He was in Rosemary's Baby for a very small scene as an extra. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Not one of the characters? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, he's like one scene with Mia Farrow. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this guy went on to start this fucking cult in West Hollywood. | ||
| And then, I don't know, people were chasing him down or whatever, but he upended and took everybody to Austin and had them build this theater for him to dance in. | ||
| Just to dance? | ||
| Just to dance. | ||
| With other people? | ||
| Well, he would dance and perform for like all of his flock. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, and then he up and took off and went to Hawaii. | ||
| This guy lives a pretty fun life though. | ||
| One of the guys confronted him in Hawaii. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| Holy hell. | ||
| That's the trailer. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| The guy had a bunch of plastic surgery and shit. | ||
| It was really weird fucking scene. | ||
| And that was that place. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| So I got out of that place. | ||
| I was like, oh no! | ||
| So we threw that place away. | ||
| Well, there was another issue that came about with that place before we found the place we're at now. | ||
| But the new joint is great. | ||
| The new joint is going to be hopping. | ||
| It is going to be great. | ||
| It's going to be hopping. | ||
| It's great to be... | ||
| I appreciate you for... | ||
| It's funny to be a part of those things because I know... | ||
| You know, in X amount of years, it'll be cool to... | ||
| It'll just be neat to look back and be like, dude, that's fucking wild. | ||
| I remember when you were... | ||
| I like being able to say that when we're having a whiskey in 10 years, being like, I remember when that was coming together, man. | ||
| That's wild what it is now. | ||
| It's just cool to see something kind of coming together. | ||
| It's uncomfortable to start things. | ||
| It's exciting, but it's also uncomfortable. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| We talked about last night. | ||
| I was doing all new material. | ||
| It's so hard starting again or starting anew or fishing for the... | ||
| Doing something different, but it's really good for the mind. | ||
| It's good for you as a person. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| You need different kinds of experiences, and starting something from scratch is a different kind of experience. | ||
| That's one of the things about moving. | ||
| Moving to Austin was a different kind of experience. | ||
| I'm in a different place now. | ||
| It's a totally different setup. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like doing things like that. | ||
| They upend you and they make you sort of recalibrate. | ||
| You have your bumps. | ||
| Maybe this is the wrong move. | ||
| Maybe this is the right move. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But then you find your way. | ||
| But there's something about starting something new and difficult that's very exciting for people. | ||
| That's why I'm going to New York in May for that reason. | ||
| You moving to New York? | ||
| I don't say moving. | ||
| You gonna get a spot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where at? | ||
| What part? | ||
| Downtown. | ||
| I just like the rhythm of New York a lot. | ||
| I have a lot of good friends there. | ||
| And something hit me recently where I was like, I have the, I'm blessed enough, whatever you want to say, I'm privileged enough that I can do it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I want to do it. | ||
| And I'm working on this thing out there. | ||
| Did you talk to Ari? | ||
| Yeah, of course, you know him. | ||
| Yeah, he's the fucking main recruiter for New York. | ||
| He's the cult leader of getting people there. | ||
| He's like, you must come to New York. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He was excited. | ||
| He was excited. | ||
| He loves being a part of that fucking hum. | ||
| All those people. | ||
| It's just, I do love it. | ||
| I want something different. | ||
| West Hollywood was a long period of my life. | ||
| Now I live somewhere else in LA. And then I just was like, what if I jump out of LA for a while? | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| Shake it the fuck up. | ||
| Shake it the fuck up. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| So many road gigs are on there, too. | ||
| If you're on the East Coast, you can go all over Connecticut and do road gigs. | ||
| Jersey, Philly, Boston. | ||
| Yeah, everywhere. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| A few hours drive and you're everywhere. | ||
| L.A. is like San Diego, San Francisco. | ||
| Yeah, and the amount of time it takes you to San Diego, you really have to leave at noon. | ||
| Because the traffic you hit in Orange County is fucking preposterous. | ||
| Yeah, it's gross. | ||
| It'll take five hours sometimes. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| That's why I need that jetpack, dude. | ||
| That's why... | ||
| And just zoop down there. | ||
| Burr was doing gigs in San Diego, and he's taking his helicopter. | ||
| Dude, insane. | ||
| That's so fucking cool, by the way. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| He's flying himself to San Diego with a helicopter. | ||
| Yeah, I'll come down. | ||
| Yeah, I'll do the gig. | ||
| You gotta have a fucking pad for me to land on? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta find a pad. | ||
| I saw a video this morning on the internet of how, it was like, it was in the Hamptons or something maybe? | ||
| And it was like, how rich people fuck with other rich people. | ||
| And it was a dude, and he's yelling at the helicopter, and the guy's in a helicopter, and he's like near his pool. | ||
| I mean, dude, he's gotta be 20 feet above, no shit, above his pool, and the wind is blowing all his yard shit, all his pool, like, chairs and shit, all over the place, and the guy's pissed. | ||
| And then you can tell that they're laughing about it, and then they fuck off in the helicopter. | ||
| So he's doing it just to fuck with the guy? | ||
| Just to fuck with this guy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, it was badass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a douchebag. | |
| It was so funny, dude. | ||
| It was like, this is how the richest have nothing to doers, this is exactly how they fuck with each other. | ||
| Is that legal? | ||
| No fucking no way. | ||
| How close are you allowed to be to a person's house with a helicopter? | ||
| I can't imagine you're allowed to be anywhere near private property. | ||
| You can kind of fly around in those things. | ||
| It was very bizarre. | ||
| But what's the restricted space? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But when I went out with Burr, we were flying around. | ||
| You just go where you want to go. | ||
| We flew over downtown LA. We flew over these buildings. | ||
| You're amazing how many buildings have X's on the top where they have a landing pad on the top. | ||
| Now, there's air traffic, obviously, he's in communication with. | ||
| Can you land on one of those? | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it's private property. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But I think that I don't know if you have to tell everybody where you're going. | ||
| If you're on a plane, you have a direct flight path, Bill's kind of moving around, doing whatever he wants to do. | ||
| And they're like, let's go over here. | ||
| Okay, we're going over here. | ||
| Let's go over to that thing. | ||
| And then the guy who he's with is his co-pilot, who's his instructor. | ||
| They're talking about where to go. | ||
| I'll set it down here, and then you're going to lift it up. | ||
| So he sets it down on this hill. | ||
| It's such a comedian's machine of flight, though, because it's like, I'll just, wherever, man, we'll figure it out as we go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's just like you're improv-ing the whole time in the air. | ||
| You're like, I guess we'll go over the fucking buildings? | ||
| We'll go over there? | ||
| I did that once in a single-engine Cessna. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Yeah, when I was in college, man, I was so dumb. | ||
| My buddy Mark was a pilot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He used to take us up all the time. | ||
| And honestly, I don't regret it, but looking back, I'm lucky I'm alive. | ||
| We would just go. | ||
| We flew to San Diego. | ||
| We flew all over Denver. | ||
| He was like, you want to see the stadium? | ||
| I was like, fuck yeah, dude! | ||
| Stone flying over the stadium. | ||
| He was sober. | ||
| He was sober. | ||
| But I was like, it's funny that if you're in training, you can just take one of these fucking things up. | ||
| You can take one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just fly around? | |
| Yeah, you can take one. | ||
| Yeah, you have to register a flight plan and then, you know, he pays for miles while he's getting his permits and you pay for gas and all that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, dude, we just took it. | ||
| We would take it to play. | ||
| We landed in Long Beach one time, at Long Beach's little regional airport. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it was very stupid. | ||
| When I used to hang out with Phil Hartman, he had his own plane. | ||
| He had one of those kind of planes. | ||
| Like a little Cessna? | ||
| He took me up in his plane. | ||
| He was so disciplined in his aviation work. | ||
| He had in between takes, he would go over his flight book. | ||
| He was reading all this because he had to take his flight examination. | ||
| So he started doing it when we first started NewsRadio. | ||
| But two years later, he's got a plane, he's flying around. | ||
| And so I went up with them once in this little single engine plane. | ||
| It's showing me, like, all these areas in the valley and all the different places to live. | ||
| It's sketchy, but it's cool. | ||
| It's sketchy, but it's pretty badass. | ||
| The freedom that you get just alone up there floating around is pretty amazing. | ||
| Have you seen these guys that go up in paramotors? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Oh, yeah, the paramotors are so badass. | ||
| That's so insane. | ||
| Just fucking floating at 6,000 feet. | ||
| That's so insane. | ||
| Look at that guy. | ||
| By the way, this is another thing where you're like, you just go wherever the fuck you want to go. | ||
| Now, how do you stop from getting hit by a plane? | ||
| Well, you're only 5,000 or 6,000 feet up. | ||
| How many in-air collisions take place? | ||
| You know? | ||
| They used to happen more often, I think, but they definitely still happen. | ||
| They happen at those air shows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see the one recently, the air show in Dallas? | |
| It shook my core. | ||
| They're flying those old-ass planes, too. | ||
| It just banked so strange. | ||
| The way that other plane just banked, you were like, oh, God. | ||
| You knew almost right away. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking horrible. | ||
| But it happens. | ||
| I feel like this happens so much that you're like, Why are we still doing these air shows? | ||
| Doesn't this, every year you're like, you hear what happened at the air show, and you're like, yeah, the fucking 15 kids' heads got cut off because they came too low. | ||
| I feel like every year something wild happens. | ||
| Unless you're a blue angel, you know what I mean? | ||
| Why are we still doing local fucking, local air shows? | ||
| They always, how many air show accidents happen? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| I feel like every year someone's like, ooh, yeah, that was fucked up what happened at that one. | ||
| Even like those Thunderbird guys, they crash sometimes. | ||
| I think they have accidents, but I don't know if they crash-crash, but I do think they'll have accidents in the air, but those guys are like... | ||
| Cream of the crop. | ||
| Oh, tip-top. | ||
| Mark Smith, who's one of the UFC referees, was a Thunderbird pilot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was he? | |
| Yeah, I had him on the podcast. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You watch the videos of those guys flying around. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| They're like right next to each other's wings. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It fucks me up when I see it. | ||
| You're always like, I would... | ||
| All you have to do is dink! | ||
| If it was you and me, you know I'd be fucking around. | ||
| You're like, don't fuck around, dude. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Do you imagine someone accidentally fucks around? | ||
| You both die? | ||
| Tip a wing. | ||
| Wasn't that in Top Gun, right? | ||
| It was a bad accident in 1982. The Thunderbirds? | ||
| Yeah, all four died. | ||
| All four died? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It says that was the last crash also. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Because they do those... | ||
| Those exhibitions all the time. | ||
| They're badass, dude. | ||
| It's, I mean, just the, I mean, that kind of flying. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Imagine the kind of power and maneuverability that a fighter jet has. | ||
| To handle the G's, too, on those turns, flipping like that constantly, I'm immediately throwing up. | ||
| I went up at the Blue Angels once. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You had to drive all the way down to San Diego, and then you had to drive deep into the desert. | ||
| It was pretty far in. | ||
| And they take you up in an F-A-18, I think it was. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| And you're not using a G-suit. | ||
| You're doing something called hooking. | ||
| Where you hold on to the handle, and as you hit heavier Gs, you have to go like this. | ||
| You're literally forcing blood into your head. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're feeling your consciousness closing in like an elevator door with the Gs. | ||
| We got to six and a half Gs before I couldn't take it anymore. | ||
| Six is a lot. | ||
| It was a lot. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| But those guys can do like nine, ten, eleven, twelve. | ||
| Well, sometimes I actually like getting stoned and watching those G-Force training videos just because the faces they make are funny. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At some point... | ||
| Oh, what's that? | ||
| It's like that, um... | ||
| Oh, JV. Grousing? | ||
| Grousing? | ||
| There's a sport in Britain where people try to make the most fucked up face. | ||
| There's like an award for it. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what it's called, dude, but... | |
| There is a it's like this is old British shit like you know that like the cheese hill You know they've rolled that cheese down the hill they chase it. | ||
| It's kind of like that where it's been around for like 300 fucking years. | ||
| Yeah, like we're still doing it But it's like who can make the most insanely grotesque Absurd face and they put a horse cop. | ||
| Yeah this what is it called gurning gurning gurning brother And it's how long can you hold it like that guy has a nail through his lip. | ||
| Oh, yeah Some of the greatest Gurning videos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gurning. | ||
| Like this guy. | ||
| They should combine that with darts. | ||
| But this is what the G-force looks like whenever I see it. | ||
| So this is the Gurning champion? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what you did when you didn't have movies and TV. This is the Gurning god, yeah. | |
| Oh my god, look at these people. | ||
| There's a contest with the most fucked up face you can make. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's great. | ||
| This is an announcer or something. | ||
| This is a big thing. | ||
| Oh my god, look at this guy. | ||
| How ugly can you be? | ||
| This is their competition? | ||
| The Brits, they're weird as fuck. | ||
| When did you hear about this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Somebody sent something to me recently. | ||
| World professional gurning. | ||
| She's a comic. | ||
| That's Gina Gashier. | ||
| I can't say her last name. | ||
| She's a comedian. | ||
| And she's practicing with them? | ||
| Yeah, she's doing probably a travel show or some shit. | ||
| World ladies gurning champion. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| So tell me about your new wife. | ||
| I met her gurning. | ||
| We were gurning together. | ||
| Someone who doesn't know is like, oh, is that like an extreme sport? | ||
| It's like, yeah. | ||
| Look, you know, it's her passion, so I don't want to pull her away from it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what people did before there were books. | ||
| When you stared at other humans and you were like, that guy's ugly as fuck, we should make him do a thing to make us laugh because we're bored. | ||
| How do you get attention in the neighborhood? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the same thing as like gesturing. | ||
| I imagine how that started was like an ugly weird dude did a thing and everyone laughed at him and someone higher up was like, you know who would like this? | ||
| The king. | ||
| The fucking king. | ||
| How many times did the king murder the jester? | ||
| Every time. | ||
| That had to have been part of the bit. | ||
| Let's Google that. | ||
| How many jesters were murdered by king? | ||
| Slain jesters. | ||
| It has to be like a very high number. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At some point, they're done laughing. | ||
| Yeah, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Kill that fucking guy. | ||
| Guy's like trying too hard? | ||
| And you're drunk? | ||
| It's like my favorite... | ||
| I think I've talked about it on this show, but... | ||
| Stan Machaco? | ||
| I don't know how to pronounce his last name. | ||
| His most famous painting is called The Jester. | ||
| And it's one of my fucking favorites. | ||
| And Stan... | ||
| Stan Machaco? | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| But this, to me... | ||
| If I could buy the original, if I had enough money, I would buy it because it shows how comics feel sometimes when you're done. | ||
| You know, sometimes when you're done off a stage and you're fucking burnt, you're like, dude, I've been giving so much. | ||
| I'm tired. | ||
| I did two shows tonight. | ||
| You just kind of have that moment of just decompression. | ||
| You're not thinking. | ||
| After we would do shows together sometimes, you and I would sit in silence in the green room and just not say anything. | ||
| Just catch your breath. | ||
| Just catch your breath and chill out. | ||
| That's that Stan Matejko painting. | ||
| Look up The Jester. | ||
| I think it's called The Jester. | ||
| Do you have any date on how many jesters were murdered? | ||
| I haven't found anything yet. | ||
| Most of them weren't murdered. | ||
| Most of them weren't murdered? | ||
| One of them, the most famous one, I'm reading the story about how and why he was killed. | ||
| How was he killed? | ||
| Yeah, what did they do? | ||
| He pushed his luck, it seems like. | ||
| He asked the question to the king about, what if someone tried to kill me? | ||
| And he's like, don't worry about that. | ||
| If someone tries to kill you, they'd be killed. | ||
| The noble would be beheaded in not more than 15 minutes. | ||
| He responded, why not 15 minutes before? | ||
| His reply made sense, but it was not received well. | ||
| Yeah, bombed. | ||
| At a later date, he pushed his luck once more by physically humiliating the king. | ||
| After telling some joke, the jester slapped Francis I's royal behind amid roars of laughter from all the court's nobles. | ||
| The monarch threatened to have him hang for this unless he'd come up with an apology even more offensive than that act. | ||
| I'm so sorry, your majesty, but I didn't recognize you. | ||
| I mistook you for the queen. | ||
| Oh, two times. | ||
| His wit really was the stuff of legends, but as you may recall, the only people fully off limits from a court Chester's mockery were the queen and her ladies-in-waiting. | ||
| Don't be talking about my bitches. | ||
| The king decided to kill him despite the deal they made, but given that Tribule was physically disabled and probably had magical powers... | ||
| Francis one decided that it would be fair to at least let him choose his way of dying. | ||
| He did not want to annoy Tribule too much while killing him. | ||
| So the jester chose. | ||
| He told the king, good sire for Saint... | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| Nichous. | ||
| Nichous is in St. Penard's sake, patrons of insanity. | ||
| I choose to die from old age. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The joke completely broke through the king's anger and Tribule was again allowed to live. | ||
| He ended up only being exiled from the realm. | ||
| They just kicked him out. | ||
| I'm sure they were, but no number, and I didn't get anything yet. | ||
| That also sounds like a lot of anecdotal horseshit. | ||
| I believe almost none of that, but I like all of it. | ||
| I liked it too. | ||
| I'd like to believe there was a dude that was that funny. | ||
| Got his way out of getting killed. | ||
| You gotta know. | ||
| Slapped the king's ass, made fun of the wife, and still lived. | ||
| That's Stan Matejko. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| So why this is also so powerful to me, truly, is if you can see on the right there behind him, in a more clear version of this, the party is still happening. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And it's just kind of like, this is truly how I feel, where you're like, we just did the gig. | ||
| Deep impressed. | ||
| Yeah, you just need to just be quiet by yourself. | ||
| Does he have notes? | ||
| Yes, that's all his, yeah, that's all of his performance notes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 1862. I never thought of jesters as having notes. | ||
| Well, I meant, they had to prep for shit. | ||
| They must have. | ||
| So that's, Stancic, yeah, Jan Matejko. | ||
| I don't know how to pronounce it, I'm stupid, but. | ||
| Can you mention, like, how do you apprentice? | ||
| For a jester. | ||
| Yeah, and do you work at someone's house for a little while before they move you up to a court? | ||
| I'm sure he's like, hey man, you gotta take my notes for my bits. | ||
| And he'll probably run bits, you know? | ||
| Like those old Catskill comics who just tell old jokes. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Yeah, and they have somebody who's like, mark down... | ||
| Sometimes when I put my eyes out and I grab my dick, they laugh. | ||
| So I put that down as a bit of the thing. | ||
| And you know there's a young kid who's like, oh, grab the dick and then cross eye on the right side. | ||
| That had to have been what these guys did because they had to pick people in the... | ||
| You know these guys are the original crowd work kings. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They were... | ||
| This was crowd work at its finest. | ||
| They'd pick people out at the parties. | ||
| They'd go back. | ||
| They'd write some notes about, you know, something they could lay in. | ||
| Because that was interesting. | ||
| I feel like I've heard that before. | ||
| They said, you can't say anything about the queen. | ||
| You can say anything about anybody else. | ||
| The queen and any of her crew, you're not allowed to say shit about. | ||
| But everyone else is like, oh, fuck them all. | ||
| Fuck everybody. | ||
| Like, the king would be like, you can, the most powerful man, fuck him. | ||
| So, kill the messenger, from what I'm reading, comes from jesters being killed in battlefields because they were, the masters made them carry the messages to the other leaders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| And sometimes they made them kill. | ||
| Jesters were often required to go to battlefield with their masters to carry messages from I think? | ||
| And some used a catapult or a trebuchet to hurl the unfortunate messenger or his severed head back into his own camp as a graphic illustration of what they thought of the message. | ||
| Dude, can you imagine? | ||
| A trebuchet, fucking a huge human catapult, but just you're chilling with your boys and your old boy's head comes... | ||
| Yeah, I told them to go tell him to go fuck themselves. | ||
| No, I see. | ||
| He said, go fuck themselves. | ||
| I guess they fucked him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said, give me all you women and all your gold and we're good. | |
| Then a fucking head comes flying to the windshield. | ||
| Sometimes that cruel and unusual punishment shit that they would do from years ago, some of it was grossly funny. | ||
| It's still gross, but that's hilarious to be like, cut his head off, throw it back at those guys. | ||
| And they would just load it up in a catapult. | ||
| Fucking huck it at your friends. | ||
| The psychological aspect of a fucking head flying over the wall of the castle. | ||
| It's a deep cut. | ||
| You think anybody laughed? | ||
| You think of the crew, you think one guy was like... | ||
| They're probably used to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're probably used to people getting their heads chopped off. | ||
| I mean, back then, people fought with swords. | ||
| People died every day that someone you knew someone was dying. | ||
| And probably in the streets, people are getting stabbed left and right. | ||
| Because, like, life and death was probably so cheap. | ||
| It was a common place where you're like, yeah, he died. | ||
| Big deal. | ||
| Yeah, he got cut up. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Yeah, they sliced his arms off. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| The Mongols would light people on fire and then use their bodies to light buildings on fire with catapults. | ||
| I thought you were going to say for warmth. | ||
| Did they ever light people on fire just to warm up? | ||
| Sure they did. | ||
| They probably did whatever they wanted to. | ||
| They're like, man, don't freeze them. | ||
| Burn Nick. | ||
| If you could imagine horrific ways that people died, one of the things they did, the way they would kill royals is they wouldn't kill them like they would kill regular people. | ||
| So they would put them sometimes, they would stack them and then put boards over the top of them and then eat dinner on top of them and crush them to death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They used you as a table? | ||
| You were a little side table? | ||
| You were the thing under the table. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| They built like a whole structure over you. | ||
| And then everybody would, like, lay the tables out and all the food out, and then all the people would walk onto it, and then they'd just crush you. | ||
| The visual is funny. | ||
| I know it's terrible, but it's just funny. | ||
| It's fucking dark, man. | ||
| It's fucking dark, dude. | ||
| That's not that long ago that people did that to people. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not that long ago. | ||
| No. | ||
| But the reasoning has changed so heavily. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| You know how technology, they say it jumps like, you know, it's the fastest moving thing we have. | ||
| It's technology continually just, like, over-leaping itself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Think about giving us a little bit of credit as a society, as people, that we're pretty good to a degree at times changing our ways of like, we can't do that shit anymore. | ||
| For the most part. | ||
| Yeah, we're trying, but I think it's kind of... | ||
| It's definitely a lot better. | ||
| Well, it's only going to get better. | ||
| This is wild that you think... | ||
| Not that long ago that shit would happen, but you're like, it is nice we don't do that anymore. | ||
| But now we kill people with drones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, from afar. | |
| Like if you're in a wedding party in Yemen and you hear... | ||
| You hear something headed your way. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It's a gift from someone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, yeah, we're more... | ||
| The drone thing's wild. | ||
| We're getting further away from... | ||
| We don't want to see it. | ||
| Yeah, we don't want to eat lunch on your compressing body. | ||
| No, but we want to pay someone far away to do it to you. | ||
| But we want to launch a rocket out of our flying robot. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's terrible, but, you know... | ||
| We're not pulling on your... | ||
| The fucking... | ||
| The Chinese torture tactics were wild, though. | ||
| You read about those things. | ||
| Like, they were endless. | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| Like, well, I mean, water torture might be, like, the one that most people know. | ||
| That might be, like, the... | ||
| I think that's probably, like, the... | ||
| Easiest one. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, they took tactics from... | ||
| Like, even stuff like Four Horsemen type of shit, pulling you in all separate directions. | ||
| I mean, people would watch you get pulled... | ||
| Apart. | ||
| Apart. | ||
| And stand there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, no big deal. | ||
| What's this one? | ||
| These are torture methods. | ||
| Forced abidance in a painful position. | ||
| So your head would be in a cage, and then your foot would be on a stool. | ||
| I mean, that's nuts. | ||
| They make you stay outside and freezing cold overnight. | ||
| Yeah, so inside's fine, outside it's like negative 12. And your head is stuck in the cage, and if you wobble enough, the stool falls, you fall asleep, you die. | ||
| You choke yourself out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's just that kind. | ||
| There's hanging, electroshocking, force-feeding, burning, scalding. | ||
| Yeah, look at that one. | ||
| Pouring hot water on you all day long. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Just burning water, intermittently burning with water. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Go up a little bit, burning hot iron bars? | ||
| Yeah, I was trying to see. | ||
| Some victims were tortured with burning hot iron bars. | ||
| Due to the bad hygienic standards in Chinese prison, this leads to the wounds becoming infected. | ||
| And they were good at it, dude. | ||
| The Chinese were good at fucking with you. | ||
| Isolation. | ||
| That shit's crazy. | ||
| Halfway underwater. | ||
| Water dungeon? | ||
| Yeah, water dungeons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shit's nuts. | ||
| Dude, it's nuts! | ||
| By the way, the bottom one is just tough for people like me. | ||
| Prohibition of eye contact and speaking. | ||
| They're like, just don't let that idiot talk to you. | ||
| He'll kill himself at some point. | ||
| Stab and cut wounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Ling Chi. | ||
| You know Ling Chi. | ||
| You know what that is, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Death of a Thousand Cuts. | ||
| They slowly cut you. | ||
| Minuscule cuts. | ||
| Thousands and thousands of times. | ||
| Red pepper is blown into the victim's eyes or nose. | ||
| Make you not go to the bathroom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Bring up Ling Chi so I make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing. | ||
| But I think that's the one. | ||
| Your skin begins to just fold off itself. | ||
| Yeah, Ling Chi. | ||
| Ling Chi. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Slow slicing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That shit's insane. | ||
| Most terrifying punishment in history. | ||
| Cut-by-cut torture methadone as Ling Chi may have been used for hundreds of years. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, the Tang Dynasty started that shit, baby. | ||
| So they tie you up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Human beings are capable of some horrific shit, man. | |
| Wretched. | ||
| And they got a kick out of this shit. | ||
| This is them being like, I know what we want to do with this guy. | ||
| Not kill him. | ||
| Not just shoot him and get it over with. | ||
| I mean, it's just wild to me. | ||
| To want to see it. | ||
| Just sit and watch some guy just slowly skin falls off his bones. | ||
| This does say that many of the accounts of Lynchy have been mythologized. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| To fit a sensationalized Western narrative. | ||
| Savage practicing. | ||
| All right, so maybe it's... | ||
| What they're saying, it's... | ||
| One case provided photographic evidence. | ||
| Okay, well, isn't one enough? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| How many do you fucking need? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right there. | |
| That is insane. | ||
| That is not good. | ||
| No, what? | ||
| Oh, my God, look at the dude's ribs. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not showing that on the screen. | ||
| No, fuck that. | ||
| Don't show that. | ||
| Don't show that. | ||
| And that guy's still alive. | ||
| He was said to meditate daily upon the image below in particular and never stop being obsessed by this image of pain, at the same time ecstatic and intolerable. | ||
| Oh my god, look how horrible that is. | ||
| Dude, have you seen, have you seen, this made me think, have you seen that family in like Puerto Rico, they like, exhumed their grandmother and walked her around town? | ||
| What? | ||
| It just was on the news. | ||
| I don't know if it was Puerto Rico. | ||
| They exhumed their grandmother. | ||
| And weakened her, sorry? | ||
| They did, bro. | ||
| They puppeted her around town. | ||
| And people in the streets, it translated, they said they were heard saying, let the dead rest, put her back, put her back. | ||
| But apparently, like, they have the legal right to exhume family bodies. | ||
| Something in the article was saying how, like... | ||
| How late after she died. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Oh, hold on. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Not true. | ||
| Not true. | ||
| That's not true? | ||
| Well, according to Snopes, this is... | ||
| I mean, tell me, is this the thing you saw? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's not it. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Well, then... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
| It's a Spanish-speaking country, and I'm foolish to not know what it was, but they exhumed their grandmother... | ||
| Walked her around town? | ||
| Walked her around town. | ||
| Yeah, there was a video in the... | ||
| New York Post put it up of them, like, speaking to her. | ||
| Do New York Post exhumes grandmother. | ||
| Is it that? | ||
| Where? | ||
| Yes, right there. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, this is real. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Drop dead gorgeous. | ||
| New York Post hilarious. | ||
| Grandmother buried for 10 years. | ||
| Still has a full head of hair and enough bones to stand up with little support. | ||
| Buried for 10 years. | ||
| The DR. So they pulled her out, out of being in the ground for 10 years. | ||
| She was 86 when she died. | ||
| 86 in 2012. Pull that up. | ||
| Go full screen with that? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| They're like making sure her dress is on. | ||
| People they say in the video are heard saying like, let the dead rest, put her back. | ||
| This is, you know, what do you do? | ||
| This is so insane. | ||
| He's smiling. | ||
| That is so insane. | ||
| He's rocking it. | ||
| So this lady's like putting her dress on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Grandma, you look lovely. | ||
| Keep her decent. | ||
| He's wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat though. | ||
| Shout out Blue Jays. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How crazy is that? | |
| How crazy is that? | ||
| They thought that was a good idea. | ||
| But if I'm not mistaken, in the article it says that they say this is not illegal to exhume your own blood. | ||
| Go to the picture of it, Jamie, right below it. | ||
| Isn't that nuts, dude? | ||
| Bro, that's like right out of The Walking Dead. | ||
| Like, if you saw that, you would assume that that's not real. | ||
| The family was in complete shock. | ||
| They were shocked that she stayed together so long. | ||
| Still had skin covering parts of the bones. | ||
| So they wanted to move her to another cemetery. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Dominican Republic, dude. | ||
| Look at the one down below. | ||
| Look at that photo. | ||
| That's what she looked like when they pulled her out before they put the dress on her. | ||
| Oh my God, that's so creepy. | ||
| So creepy, dude. | ||
| That's her alive. | ||
| That's how you should remember her. | ||
| Go back up again to that picture. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| Also, 10 years, still full head of hair. | ||
| Shocking, though. | ||
| I was blown away. | ||
| I'm like, full head of hair, 10 years? | ||
| What would you think the hair would just rot out of the head with the skin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| That's what I thought. | ||
| It looks like she's mummified. | ||
| Well, maybe they did put her in something. | ||
| Put her in a movie. | ||
| Well, then there's the embalming, right? | ||
| Like, what does that do? | ||
| That stops you from deteriorating the same way, right? | ||
| Formaldehyde? | ||
| Did she get embalmed? | ||
| Is that why she's like that? | ||
| Or is that like a mummification process? | ||
| That looks more mummified. | ||
| Because isn't embalming... | ||
| Doesn't that like really, that preserves the shit out of you, right? | ||
| Well, I know from that HBO autopsy show they would go and dig up and bomb bodies and find out there was like arsenic in them and things that the people had done to poison the people and kill people. | ||
| Oh my, like after the fact, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, they'd like, they'd solve some murders. | ||
| I knew a guy that was doing a documentary about body brokerage. | ||
| Where, you know your body parts could be sold... | ||
| Monster? | ||
| No, I'm good, baby. | ||
| Your body parts could be sold... | ||
| Post-mortem? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can make a deal while you're alive? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know the specifics. | ||
| It was like after they were dead, like they would sell grandma and he said the high percentage of these, the high percentages of what was going on, you know, in this marketplace was for reassignment surgery. | ||
| So it was like, you know, it was either like skin for new dicks or skin for vaginal reconstructive surgery and shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, at the time. | ||
| Yeah, when he was doing it. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| Seven or eight years ago. | ||
| The body trade. | ||
| Yeah, it's a real thing. | ||
| Well, I have heard about it being a real thing in terms of organ donors. | ||
| Yeah, body brokers. | ||
| I think that was the name of his old... | ||
| Body parts from American donors have been exported to at least 45 countries and thousands of parts sent abroad annually. | ||
| Demand is high in nations where customs limit selling or dissecting their own debt. | ||
| In the U.S., though, almost anything goes. | ||
| Yeah, it was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Yeah, so I ran into him in... | ||
| I'm looking it up because I'm so stupid. | ||
| I ran into him in an airport a long time ago. | ||
| It was a guy named Julian Knitsberg. | ||
| I was looking to see if I could find the name of it. | ||
| Still rocking No Case, huh? | ||
| No Case. | ||
| Never No Case, dude. | ||
| We've talked about this every time I come in. | ||
| Never No Case. | ||
| Fuck cases. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| Get the AppleCare and just break your phone. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| You're gonna die one day. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| You're still No Case, too? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck cases. | ||
| Rare No Case people. | ||
| What are you gonna do, man? | ||
| This guy, Julian Knitsberg, though, I ran into him in an airport. | ||
| He did a documentary that you'd love called Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. | ||
| I know that documentary very well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's him. | |
| He did that. | ||
| Julian, I met him years ago through dick house guys. | ||
| My name is Bobby Sue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I always thought of me as a sexy one of the family. | |
| I shot my dad. | ||
| The kid shot his dad in the fucking face and he lived. | ||
| His dad came to his house and he shot him, fucking lived. | ||
| But that guy, Julian, he was doing a body broker thing and he was like, it's fascinating to where you can find out where your grandma's arm is going to be someone's cock one day. | ||
| And I was like, is this all real? | ||
| He's like, you'll see when I'm done with the thing. | ||
| I don't know if he's still working on it. | ||
| Your grandma's arm is going to be someone's cock. | ||
| Yeah, kind of wild. | ||
| Can they get to the point where they make a cock that feels like a cock to you? | ||
| I mean, I felt a lot of cocks in my day. | ||
| So if someone was jerking off your arm, even though you feel your arm... | ||
| This kind of feels like a dick. | ||
| It's a hairy dick. | ||
| Right, but it's not that big a deal. | ||
| Someone jerks off your arm. | ||
| It doesn't do anything for you. | ||
| You can stop. | ||
| Yeah, cut it out. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, imagine if they could... | ||
| Make a dick that feels the way a dick feels. | ||
| Not just looks like... | ||
| I've seen the ones where they do trans men and they get like a big chunk of their leg removed so there's an enormous scar on their leg. | ||
| For dick? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then they get a monster hog. | ||
| Why can't you take old dead dick skin and make it new dick skin? | ||
| Is that not possible? | ||
| From a dead person? | ||
| Yeah, why is that not? | ||
| Body Brokers? | ||
| That's a scripted film, though. | ||
| It is, but it's about a similar thing where, like, a rehab found out that it was really a fraud cover-up for a multi-billion dollar company that takes... | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| See, look at this. | ||
| Go back up to the top. | ||
| It says, nearly all the film is based on John's real-life experience, and what wasn't was based on other people's shared experiences with patient brokering... | ||
| That's a little bit different. | ||
| In Southern California. | ||
| Without naming who specifically, Swab and Rosen confirmed that almost every part of the film is based on one person's experience. | ||
| Fucking wild. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| That just came out, Jamie? | ||
| That's a 2021? | ||
| Yeah, this actually sounds like it's a slightly different thing. | ||
| Well, when they do that to Chinese political prisoners, you know, like, hey, Mr. Wilson from Connecticut, you need a heart? | ||
| Yeah, we got you. | ||
| And you run a hedge fund? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We might be able to get you to the top of the list. | ||
| It's going to be all right. | ||
| What was your blood type again? | ||
| We got them all, man. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| It's going to cost X, Y, or Z, and then bam. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder, why can't they just take old dick skin and make it new dick skin? | ||
| Because you're right, dick skin is not... | ||
| Dick skin is different. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| How do you explain it? | ||
| How do you make it feel like a dick? | ||
| That's the thing, to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, could that be done? | ||
| Could they, like, hypersensitize all the skin around that area? | ||
| Well, like, turn your right... | ||
| Like, turn this into, like... | ||
| Stem cells? | ||
| Stem cells? | ||
| Yeah, that's gotta be right. | ||
| Yeah, just program it to become a dick? | ||
| Where can they grow a dick, Jamie? | ||
| Can they grow dicks? | ||
| Uh, well, alright. | ||
| So, I'm finding stuff here. | ||
| But as you ask me a question... | ||
| Jamie always gets into these... | ||
| I found a post that says, like, what can human skin... | ||
| What products are made from human tissue? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Right. | ||
| And it's things you might assume. | ||
| Dental implants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Fornia trims. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And penis augmentation. | ||
| Heart valves. | ||
| Breast reconstruction. | ||
| Uh... | ||
| I thought I saw a thing. | ||
| There was a manifest on a ship somewhere that said that there was 6,000 pounds of human tissue. | ||
| 6,000 pounds of... | ||
| It was valued at $67,000, but they didn't know what was inside there. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| 67,000 pounds? | ||
| They were smuggling it in? | ||
| I'm piecing together stories of body brokering very loosely. | ||
| This isn't it. | ||
| This is bringing up the movie stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't even know how I got to it. | |
| Maybe it's in here. | ||
| I've got a few links up. | ||
| Yeah, this is the body trade. | ||
| Yeah, I found it in this, I guess. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| 10,000 body parts from donors, shipping overseas. | ||
| Here you go. | ||
| According to Manifest, shipment bound for Europe included 6,000 pounds of human remains valued at $67,000. | ||
| They kept it in a 5 degree Fahrenheit container. | ||
| The body parts came from a Portland business called Medicure Inc., a so-called body broker. | ||
| Medicure profits by dissecting the bodies of altruistic donors and sending the parts to medical training and research companies. | ||
| Well, yeah, you're doing a good thing. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| What do you want to do, dude? | ||
| Do you want to be buried? | ||
| Do you want to be cremated? | ||
| What do you want when it's over? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I think the move is Tibetan Sky Funeral. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Do you know the Tibetan Sky Funeral? | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| The move is they take you, they take your body, no embalming, they cut you up, and they bring you to the top of a mountain where they chop you up and feed you to vultures while everybody watches. | ||
| Why? | ||
| And the vultures know that that's what you're there for because they feed people to these vultures all the time. | ||
| And so the vultures just eat the people. | ||
| Why do you want that? | ||
| It's a ritualistic tradition. | ||
| Well, at least my body will be useful. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Goes back to nature. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess. | |
| Go to Tibetan Sky Funeral. | ||
| Chill. | ||
| So this is a Tibetan Sky Funeral. | ||
| So look at all these vultures just kind of chilling because they know that people are bringing over bodies. | ||
| Look, they're fighting over big chunks. | ||
| That's like a chunk of a human. | ||
| So they're cutting chunks of hair and meat and... | ||
| All these different pieces. | ||
| And so I don't know how much they're going to show in this. | ||
| I just want to skip ahead to this 45 second video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is a human body that they've left there. | ||
| I don't know how much you can see. | ||
| I guess we would assume it's human, too. | ||
| We don't know that. | ||
| It could be something else. | ||
| It could. | ||
| I think it's mostly people. | ||
| Those are people's bodies laying there. | ||
| It looks like it, at least. | ||
| And they take them, they take their clothes off, they chop them up, and then the vultures eat them. | ||
| And everybody watches. | ||
| And this is how you want to... | ||
| This is it. | ||
| This is Joe Rogan. | ||
| How would you want to do it? | ||
| Burn me up, dude. | ||
| Burn me. | ||
| Well, because I don't want to take up any more space. | ||
| I already took up enough space while I'm here. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Well, I mean it in the sense of like... | ||
| Climate change, too many people. | ||
| No, fuck that. | ||
| Not because of that. | ||
| World population. | ||
| Well, just because it's like, what do you need? | ||
| You don't need me around anymore. | ||
| I'm not going to take up any more fucking... | ||
| My grandfather used to say, land is for the living. | ||
| He was like, fucking cemeteries are bullshit. | ||
| They're weird. | ||
| He's like, land's for the living. | ||
| You don't need that. | ||
| You're gone. | ||
| You did it. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| Do you think there's probably got to be a lot of people that are eyeing that big-ass cemetery in LA and going, you know how much this is worth? | ||
| Brother, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Well, that's one. | ||
| That's where they do movies and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, what's the one I'm thinking of? | ||
| The one near the 405. I know, it's huge. | ||
| It's huge, and it's prime real estate. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Is it a veteran cemetery? | ||
| Part of it, there is a veteran part. | ||
| Forrest Lawn. | ||
| That's it, yeah. | ||
| Part of it is, and then the other part of it is people. | ||
| Just fucking Mike and Jane. | ||
| That land. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's privately owned. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| That land's gotta be worth billions. | ||
| Well, there's multiple. | ||
| You know where Michael Jackson's, like he's above Glendale, right? | ||
| Like there's, Forest Lawn has multiple locations, or there are multiple parts to the cemetery, but there's like a ton of famous people buried by the Glendale Temple, I think. | ||
| You know who was buried? | ||
| This is funny. | ||
| I don't even, this popped into my brain. | ||
| My... | ||
| My dad's old house was in a neighborhood in Chicago, and across the street, literally from his house, was an old cemetery. | ||
| And a bunch of old famous gangsters were apparently buried there. | ||
| Right across from his house was Jack Ruby. | ||
| Do you know who that guy is? | ||
| He's the guy that shot Lee Harvey Oswald? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| He was buried across the street from my dad, and I was reading up about him because I was like, I want to know more about... | ||
| I think his name was Jack Rubenstein or something like that. | ||
| But all about his motives, and then there was all these conspiracy theories about even people didn't even think he might not be the one that killed Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Oh, he definitely killed Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Well, right, but then they say that he shot him, right? | ||
| But then there was, people said that that's not what killed Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Well, that's definitely what killed him. | ||
| But he didn't die on the spot, right? | ||
| No, he didn't die on the spot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, I mean, he shot him in the guts. | ||
| But it was a.22. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| Look up how Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| It looked like a.38. | ||
| Yeah, what did he use? | ||
| I don't believe he used a.22. | ||
| Oh, well that is bigger than I thought. | ||
| That looks like a.38 to me. | ||
| It's pretty small. | ||
| It's not really, though. | ||
| Was the arm in the way or did he shoot him by then? | ||
| I think he... | ||
| I think he had shot him by then. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think it's like right in there. | ||
| Yeah, you're probably just curling it from the shot. | ||
| Just Google what kind of gun Jack Ruby used to kill Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| But yeah, that headstone's right across the street from my dad's old house. | ||
| I mean, he's not, obviously, he moved away from there, but... | ||
| Do you know Jack Ruby was connected to MKUltra? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How? | ||
| Jolly West, the head guy from the CIA from MKUltra, went to visit Lee Harvey Oswald after he shot... | ||
| Went to visit, rather, Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| And after Jolly West left, Jack Ruby was insane. | ||
| He went insane. | ||
| He was hiding underneath his bunk. | ||
| He was saying that they're burning the Jews alive and millions are dying. | ||
| He gave him acid. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He dosed him up. | ||
| Tripped him out. | ||
| While he was inside after he had shot Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| And shortly after that, he died of cancer. | ||
| Yeah, cancer like riddled his body. | ||
| I was reading about him and like lit it. | ||
| And it came like out of nowhere. | ||
| Gave him a little shut the fuck up. | ||
| Gave him a little shut the fuck up shot. | ||
| Gave him a little shut the fuck up shot. | ||
| Because they were like, oh no man, he got cancer overnight. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| It was all over his body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But before he was okay, totally. | ||
| They probably just force fed him radiation. | ||
| Something. | ||
| They gave him radiation with his acid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that MKUltra thing, there's a book on it called Chaos by Tom O'Neill. | ||
| It's an amazing book. | ||
| He was Greg Fitzsimmons' next-door neighbor for like 20 years. | ||
| What? | ||
| And he'd been working on this one book. | ||
| Started off as a magazine article, and as he started researching the magazine article, it just got deeper and deeper. | ||
| He found out more inconsistencies and more things that were fucked up. | ||
| And then he eventually realized that Charles Manson had been visited by Jolly West in prison. | ||
| And that they had experimented with Charles Manson with crowd control and mind control and cult control methods and they provided him with LSD most likely and most certainly got him out of jail every time he got arrested afterwards. | ||
| People who had arrested Charles Manson for all sorts of shit while he was on parole that should have put him in jail for the rest of his life. | ||
| They were like, well, he's above our pay grade. | ||
| We're being told to let him go. | ||
| So they would just let him go and then he would go out and run these hippies and have them murder people. | ||
| And this is at the time where they were trying to infiltrate The hippie movement, the same way the FBI tries to infiltrate these fucking wacky militias and get them to go kidnap the governor of Michigan. | ||
| Back then, they would dose people up with acid and get the hippies to go murder people. | ||
| They're like, this is a great way to crack down on the anti-war movement. | ||
| Great way to crack down on the hippies. | ||
| Get everybody terrified of this young movement of these... | ||
| These flower children. | ||
| They're not so peaceful after all. | ||
| Matter of fact, they're fucking murderers. | ||
| So they literally got a murderer in prison, got a crazy psychopath in prison, and Charles Manson taught him how to run a cult, taught him how to control people with LSD, and then supplied him with LSD and sent him out in the world. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's trippy as fuck. | ||
| It's an amazing book, man. | ||
| The book's great because it's very detailed, as you can imagine, because Tom worked on it for 20 fucking years. | ||
| And how many has he written outside of that? | ||
| I don't think any. | ||
| That was the one. | ||
| I think that's his big book. | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| He's working on a second book because he had so much data just from that one case that I think he's working on a second book right now. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Chaos. | ||
| Chaos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's really interesting stuff, man. | ||
| 38. 38. 38, yeah. | ||
| The most famous gun in the world. | ||
| An original bullet shot from the most famous gun in the world. | ||
| Jack Ruby. | ||
| Colt Cobra. | ||
| 38 Special. | ||
| Yeah, see, I know my guy. | ||
| But look at it, it says 435 out of 5,000. | ||
| So they shot bullets out of it, I think, to sell. | ||
| They shot 5,000 bullets out of it to sell. | ||
| How many dummies are like, I want that bullet. | ||
| Shot that son of a bitch Lee Harvey Oswald who definitely acted alone. | ||
| Yeah, he was by himself. | ||
| Give me that bullet. | ||
| Shoot something. | ||
| That is so funny, they had a meeting about it. | ||
| They're like, should we just shoot bullets out of that fucking thing and sell them? | ||
| Someone's like, yeah, some dummy will buy that shit. | ||
| Why do they only do 5,000? | ||
| They should do it every year. | ||
| Keep doing it. | ||
| Keep doing it. | ||
| Do it until the product runs out. | ||
| Yeah, what are you, crazy? | ||
| The gun still works. | ||
| Now you know how the card game works. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's what happened in the cards with the Ken Griffey Jr. card. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| That was like the most famous baseball card you could buy for a while. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it turns out like Upper Deck got caught printing sheets and sheets and sheets of them and selling them to the collectors. | ||
| They're not numbered? | ||
| They weren't numbered? | ||
| No, they weren't. | ||
| There's a documentary about this, actually, that's like a scam, and it ruined the card industry for quite a while. | ||
| And now only one company is allowed to sell baseball cards. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| Topps? | ||
| Upper Deck? | ||
| I think Topps got the contract, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the same way I feel about golf, I feel about baseball cards. | ||
| Like, what are you wasting your time doing? | ||
| Now that I understand. | ||
| At least golf is a career. | ||
| There's a sport. | ||
| Yeah, there's something to it. | ||
| Yeah, it's a legit sport. | ||
| Like some people, you know, they make a lot of... | ||
| What do you think about the fucking, the live golf thing? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Absolutely love it. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Tell me more. | ||
| Here's the reason. | ||
| And I told you, before this, I know a guy that went over there. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| Some people love the preservation in the history of the PGA. I get it. | ||
| Tradition. | ||
| A lot of things about the PGA are bullshit, and particularly the idea that the PGA had a stronghold on them. | ||
| It has remnants of contracts from studios in the 50s for actors, where you're like, we own your fucking ass. | ||
| Your likeness, your rights, your images. | ||
| When the golfers golf, They can't use that footage. | ||
| They have to license it from the PGA. So if I'm out playing and I want to be like, hey man, I want to put up a post on Instagram about this dope-ass putt I hit or whatever, this great... | ||
| You have to buy it. | ||
| You have to buy your shit back from them. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| Why? | ||
| If I'm Zion Williamson in the NBA and I fucking yoke on someone, I put my dick in their fucking face and dunk on them, the NBA can't wait to give you the footage. | ||
| They're like, dude, post that shit. | ||
| Because it's going to help their brand. | ||
| PGA is old white guy bullshit, and it's I get it that it's antiquated So some of the younger guys were like fuck this. | ||
| I want more freedom and fun. | ||
| I want something different Some of them their careers are on the Other side? | ||
| So they might not be making so much more to win money, right? | ||
| So this is a great alternative. | ||
| The problem people had was like, Dustin Johnson or, you know, guys that are at the top, and they're like, why are you pulling your game over there? | ||
| Do you think you can't win anymore in this? | ||
| Which is part of the controversy. | ||
| It's like, oh, do you... | ||
| But what's the big controversy? | ||
| The big controversy is one of the Saudis. | ||
| Yeah, but Saudi money is invested in... | ||
| Tons of shit. | ||
| Look up Saudi money LPGA. Look that up. | ||
| The investment of the Saudis isn't like a new thing in American sports. | ||
| People are just mad because, the PGA particularly is mad, because they're looking something in the face that's threatening them. | ||
| It's not going to be bigger than the PGA, but it's an alternative that's fun. | ||
| People like it. | ||
| It's not going to be bigger, not going to take it over. | ||
| But what people are concerned with is that people are leaving and they're going to work for someone who's been accused of some horrific shit. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But who made your jeans? | ||
| These are American jeans. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| These are made by origin. | ||
| But most people go, oh dude, I don't like that. | ||
| It's like, your fucking shirt was made by a Chinese kid. | ||
| Well, your phone. | ||
| If you're complaining about stuff, you're literally complaining about it on a device that was made by slaves. | ||
| Well, that's my point. | ||
| So I think when you start to get into the nitpicky stuff, I'm always like... | ||
| I understand the idea of being like people are anti them playing for Saudi money, but if you think you're not involved in Saudi money at a high sports level, I'm sorry, but it's there. | ||
| Well, the WWE fans are freaking out now, right? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Jamie? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| It's last night that the Saudi Investment Fund bought the WWE, I believe. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, what are you going to do? | ||
| What happens now? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What happens now? | ||
| Well, there's no divas. | ||
| There's not going to be any women. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Vince McMahon. | ||
| WWE talent done if company is sold to Saudi Arabia. | ||
| Thank you, brother! | ||
| It says it's not sold to Saudi Arabia according to them. | ||
| This is what was happening on Twitter last night. | ||
| The WWE Twitter world freaked out. | ||
| It was like trending all night. | ||
| Well, go to Snopes. | ||
| What does Snopes have to say? | ||
| Oh, they had an answer? | ||
| Oh, they did? | ||
| Is WWE being so research in progress? | ||
| Still going. | ||
| So yes. | ||
| So the answer is yes, and they just can't leak it. | ||
| Well, the money comes around if it's a substantial increase in money. | ||
| I think here's the deal. | ||
| I understand tradition, but if these guys want an alternative league to play in, fucking let them go play. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Why do you need a monopoly of one league? | ||
| I mean, you look at the history... | ||
| That's not what the problem is. | ||
| What people have a problem with is Jamal Khashoggi. | ||
| Jamal Khashoggi, who was a journalist for the Washington Post, who was dismembered at the Turkish embassy, supposedly at the instructions of the Saudi royals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was critical of them. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| And I don't know who literally is funding. | ||
| They could be just Saudi businessmen that are funding Liv. | ||
| I don't know this particulars, but I don't know. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| If they want to go play in that league and they're comfortable with it, let them go play, I guess. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| What an American perspective. | ||
| Well, let them go play. | ||
| It's fucking capitalism, baby. | ||
| You want to get that fucking check, dude? | ||
| That's the Trump perspective. | ||
| Get that fucking check, dude. | ||
| Trump told them. | ||
| It's an amazing, amazing organization. | ||
| They're doing great things. | ||
| Doing great things. | ||
| Go get that money. | ||
| I think, honestly, here's what's really going to happen. | ||
| They're gonna go get that money, and then they're gonna leave. | ||
| Then it's gonna be over, and it's gonna dissipate into nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or not. | |
| If they have that kind of cheddar, they have enough cheddar, they could literally keep this going forever if they wanted to. | ||
| And they wouldn't put a dent in them. | ||
| No, no, it's not that. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It's more that what guys are gonna be willing to either stay there or continue to go over there. | ||
| So the problem is the talent, right? | ||
| It's like anything else. | ||
| But they're having the events here. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| I went to one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you don't have to stay, you don't have to go over there. | |
| I think they only play one over there. | ||
| All of them are here. | ||
| I went to one in Chicago, Rich Harvest Farms. | ||
| It's really interesting to see the internal uproar, which I immediately attribute to... | ||
| Golf is an old tradition sport, so people are really particular. | ||
| So they don't even like that someone's entering the conversation. | ||
| The other perspective, obviously, is the one that is the bigger deal is people think it's an immoral move, an unethical move. | ||
| If it was instead some enormous hedge fund got together and they put all their money together and decided to fund their own alternative golf They'd be just as mad. | ||
| I think they'd be just as upset. | ||
| The PGA does not want competition. | ||
| They don't like that guys are even thinking about going. | ||
| And then I think, personally, they're shoehorning in the Saudi stuff to go, and that's bad. | ||
| See? | ||
| They're more mad about business interests. | ||
| They don't fucking care about the Saudi stuff. | ||
| How much of an effect is it having on the top players? | ||
| I mean, my buddy's doing a documentary that's coming out on Netflix, I think coming up soon in the first quarter of the year, about the PGA. And during it, during the middle of filming, half of the guys left and went to live, and he films both perspectives. | ||
| And it's supposed to be really good. | ||
| It's just, it's not changed much. | ||
| What's the highest level player? | ||
| The highest paycheck? | ||
| The highest level, like a guy who's a championship caliber. | ||
| Phil Mickelson is one of the greatest of all time, arguably, in a span of many, many golfers. | ||
| I'm not saying he's number one. | ||
| I'm just saying he is one of the best of all time, and I think he's the biggest money, right? | ||
| Wasn't he the biggest? | ||
| Him or... | ||
| DJ? Yeah, him or DJ got the most, but... | ||
| And what kind of money are we talking about? | ||
| 150 mil, supposedly, to just come over to play before they want any extra money. | ||
| Before they got paid out. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's also part of a contract. | ||
| No one knows the details of these contracts. | ||
| Well, they're private, right? | ||
| They don't have to disclose. | ||
| Didn't they lose all their sponsors once they went over there, though? | ||
| A lot of them lost some of their sponsors, but I don't know if you need them anymore after 150 mil clears. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| Like, what kind of sponsors are we talking about? | ||
| CDW, you know, like business investment firms. | ||
| Golf is sponsored heavily by like, you know, TD Ameritrade and shit. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| It's a lot of that shit. | ||
| Which makes sense because all those guys are the guys who like golf. | ||
| Yeah, that's who likes golf. | ||
| Yeah, businessmen. | ||
| Old businessmen. | ||
| They love to do business meetings on the golf course. | ||
| Good to see you, Phil. | ||
| I bet if you're like a businessman, you probably have to play golf. | ||
| In some circles? | ||
| It's an advantage. | ||
| I don't know if in the new era, our age is... | ||
| What's going on now in the youth of business, I don't fucking know what 22-year-olds have to do to get through in the corporate world, but I imagine it's still a part of it to a degree. | ||
| It's an inner circle that you're going to get leverage from some way or not. | ||
| It's like going to a good school. | ||
| It's like, dude, I went to Arizona State. | ||
| Did I have any connections? | ||
| I made zero fucking... | ||
| Friends! | ||
| I made a lot of fucking friends, but none of them could help me business-wise. | ||
| It's not like going to Yale. | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| You go to an accredited university, someone's daddy is a somebody. | ||
| And so that's a big advantage in going to a good school. | ||
| And you meet that guy, and you might wind up working for his firm. | ||
| He might give you a fucking job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want a job? | ||
| Does your kid want a job? | ||
| It's like that shit. | ||
| Billy's a good kid. | ||
| Really good kid. | ||
| And he's top of his class. | ||
| I give him a couple hundred grand a year out of school. | ||
| We'll let him fuck off for two years, and then we'll figure it out. | ||
| Show him how to do coke. | ||
| We'll give them a bump. | ||
| But so I think... | ||
| Like, at the end of the day, whatever people... | ||
| Whatever those guys want to do, I just want to watch golf. | ||
| So I don't give a shit. | ||
| I'm definitely... | ||
| The PGA is still going to be the number one because it has, you know, the Masters. | ||
| It has tournaments where you're... | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Now, is this the general attitude of most people? | ||
| Most people are just letting it go, they don't care, or are people outraged? | ||
| Most guys my age, I think Jamie might be in a similar boat where you're like, I don't fucking give a shit, but my dad's generation is like, fucking ridiculous, you don't support the fucking Saudis, and you go over there and you're abandoning the ship that you sailed in on. | ||
| You know, the PGA built you and it formed you. | ||
| It would be like if the UFC had a competitive thing come forward with way more money, which I don't know if that's happened. | ||
| I'm ignorant. | ||
| You could tell me if it has. | ||
| It hasn't. | ||
| But that's kind of the same thing. | ||
| There's some guys who get really good deals that they wouldn't get in the UFC. So what happens is if there's talent that's available that's top flight talent, Bellator has options. | ||
| That's an option. | ||
| A lot of guys will go to Bellator because Bellator will pay them more. | ||
| But it's like when you get to the World Championship, like the Conor McGregor, Khabib Nurmagomedov level, I think they make more money in the UFC. Right. | ||
| I think because they have pay-per-view. | ||
| You don't see pay-per-view with Bellator. | ||
| I think they've done a couple pay-per-views. | ||
| I don't think they've been that successful. | ||
| Whereas UFC does a pay-per-view every month. | ||
| Every month is an enormous pay-per-view. | ||
| There's world championship fights where you get the best of the best, and everybody knows who they are. | ||
| It's like Q-tips, NFL, NBA. That's MMA at the highest level. | ||
| You can get cotton swabs at CVS that aren't made by Q-tips. | ||
| You're asking for Q-tips. | ||
| Where's the Q-tips? | ||
| Where's Kleenex? | ||
| Yeah, where's the Kleenex? | ||
| That's not even the best example, right? | ||
| Because the Q-tips at CVS that aren't Q-tips, the cotton swabs, are probably just as good. | ||
| It's not that fucking hard to have a little stick and cotton on the end of it. | ||
| But it's the name. | ||
| To get elite, world-class fighters to compete in the biggest organization to hold that UFC belt, You know, I have Bruce Buffer say, and no! | ||
| You know, and they put that fucking strap on you. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's the cream of the crop when it comes to combat sports. | ||
| Well, that's what it is in the PGA. It's like they hold tradition. | ||
| They've got it by the balls. | ||
| So no one will... | ||
| There's no... | ||
| It's not accredited. | ||
| You know, live is for fun. | ||
| It's for money and fun. | ||
| And I think they're trying to appeal to like a new young market. | ||
| I think they need to do that shit with the crowd. | ||
| Well, Liv has live music. | ||
| Who has that? | ||
| That one with the crowd? | ||
| That's a different thing? | ||
| That's the PGA. That's the PGA. Yeah, this is like the one time they kind of let this chaos go. | ||
| It's because it's in Phoenix. | ||
| Waste Management runs it. | ||
| Listen, it's a great move. | ||
| Well, you should show him a picture of what the 16th hole looks like without those stands. | ||
| What they build is mind-blowing. | ||
| The course outside of that looks nothing like that. | ||
| They build this huge structure that's around it. | ||
| So that structure they put in temporarily? | ||
| Yeah, that's gone. | ||
| Most of the time it's not there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| That enormous structure they built temporarily? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they keep it or they take it down? | ||
| Just for the tournament. | ||
| They take it down? | ||
| The moment the tournament's closed, that course goes back to what it looked like. | ||
| Look at the 16th without it. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| Or 17, is it? | ||
| How many people are in there? | ||
| I mean, dude, that's got to be, I don't know, 5,000. | ||
| Oh, more. | ||
| It looks like more. | ||
| If that was a show that we were doing together, we'd be like, bro. | ||
| Just without grandstand, right? | ||
| Without grandstand. | ||
| That looks like 30, 40,000 to me, man. | ||
| Look at that's what it looks like, Joe, without it. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| There's a time lapse. | ||
| How many people were there? | ||
| Google the audience size. | ||
| You're allowed to walk in and out of that area. | ||
| It's not like you need a seat. | ||
| Yeah, you don't stay. | ||
| You can go anywhere on the course the whole day. | ||
| Right, but how many people get seated by that structure they put in place? | ||
| How many seats are available? | ||
| Take a guess. | ||
| I'm saying $40,000. | ||
| I would say $20,000. | ||
| Yeah, it's like $15,000. | ||
| $15,000 or $20,000. | ||
| It seems more than that, man. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| There's a lot of boxes, too. | ||
| They sell those boxes. | ||
| They sell those boxes because people now know how fun it is. | ||
| Right, but what's the actual number? | ||
| I don't know that we'll know it. | ||
| It changes year to year because they add more people. | ||
| Yeah, but they have. | ||
| Okay, let's go the 2021 waste management open crowd size. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| There's got to be a way to find it, right? | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| I mean, they'll give you an estimate of something. | ||
| They'll give you usually how many people show up because they brag about it. | ||
| 20,000. | ||
| 20,000. | ||
| But that's the whole event. | ||
| That's not sitting in there. | ||
| Yeah, but I would argue half of them are there. | ||
| That's probably 10 grand maybe. | ||
| But what a great idea to get it exciting. | ||
| Because that was so much more exciting than a normal golf situation. | ||
| Well, you should hear when they interview pro golfers. | ||
| This is only 5,000. | ||
| 5,000 fans per day. | ||
| But that was 2021. This is when the pandemic was happening. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| The grandstands are non-existent. | ||
| Pro golfers say that that's the most nervous they are because people talk shit, they're yelling. | ||
| Most times they get this, as a guy that holds up a thing to shut the fuck up. | ||
| There, there's no rules. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| And you know what's so funny? | ||
| When somebody does get a hole-in-one like that, they all throw beer. | ||
| He's got pictures of it where they'll throw beer on there, but they don't get kicked out or anything. | ||
| It's like the one time you're allowed to throw beer. | ||
| Okay, so it doesn't look as big as I thought now. | ||
| There's not that many. | ||
| Now that I'm seeing it now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that last year? | |
| I don't know the exact year. | ||
| Boy, there's a lot of pressure. | ||
| No, that's 2017. Fuck up and whack someone in the head with a ball, too. | ||
| Look at the new one. | ||
| The new one's fucking huge. | ||
| The one from last year was massive. | ||
| But if you go down, they're building the one here now. | ||
| It's not for 90 days. | ||
| They're already starting to build a grandstand. | ||
| Top right, Jamie. | ||
| That's from last year. | ||
| That's way bigger than it was. | ||
| They're building one here what? | ||
| They have a tournament here in Austin, and I just drove by it the other day. | ||
| They're already starting to build the stands on like it's 12, 13, 14. It's a similar area like this. | ||
| It's definitely not quite as loud or anything like that, but they're building it now. | ||
| It's in the end of March, I think, is when they're here. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I like that idea, man. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| You want to go to this? | ||
| You and I can go. | ||
| When is it? | ||
| It's in like three weeks. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| You want to go to Phoenix and go have fucking fun? | ||
| I might want to go to that. | ||
| When I was at ASU, we used to go to this. | ||
| And if you're a student, you get cheap tickets. | ||
| And we would go there and party our fucking face. | ||
| I mean, it's basically like, you know, nobody's there to watch golf. | ||
| Everyone's there to have a good time. | ||
| It's like the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do they gamble? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| So people gamble on the matches? | ||
| So on that particular hole, what's really fun is people will gamble on like closest to the pin, you know, but you're doing it with buddies, like they'll go, the next foursome that's up. | ||
| Right, there's Phil. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is before he went over to live? | |
| Yeah, this is a long time ago. | ||
| That is fucking crazy! | ||
| And this only happens at the Waste Management Open? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| I don't understand why they don't do it more. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense to me as a new person who's gotten into this. | ||
| Like, why every single event doesn't have one hole like this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's the move, right? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I'll go back to what I said, dude. | ||
| It's like old white guy bullshit. | ||
| Okay, so, and live. | ||
| Not like this is a selling point. | ||
| They get to wear shorts. | ||
| Are you working for Liv? | ||
| Yeah, I work for Liv. | ||
| It says they wear shorts? | ||
| Everyone's gotta wear pants no matter how hot it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have to wear pants. | |
| It's the middle of fucking summer sometimes and they have to wear pants. | ||
| Liv lets them wear shorts, which, that's my point. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why does the PGA give a fuck? | ||
| Why do they give a fuck? | ||
| Because it's tradition. | ||
| That's why you get that stupid jacket when you win. | ||
| That is a very cool jacket. | ||
| It's green. | ||
| I will take that fucking jacket. | ||
| How much would you want one of those fucking jackets? | ||
| Would you buy that normally? | ||
| Would you normally buy a green jacket? | ||
| You can't buy that. | ||
| No, but I mean, why would you want a green jacket? | ||
| Because nobody buys green jackets. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it. | |
| As I wear a green t-shirt. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, fuck it. | ||
| No, but it's... | ||
| At the end of the day, those guys, in my opinion, will be... | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Don't you think they'll come back from live? | ||
| I think it'll be a short-lived, fun fucking money-grab, and then it'll be done. | ||
| It would be really cool. | ||
| I mean, every league that we've watched now was... | ||
| Probably now a conglomeration of what they were. | ||
| The NFL was AFC, NFC. Yeah, of course. | ||
| Two different conferences that came together to do something we were just talking about. | ||
| Oh, there's a pickleball league starting. | ||
| That was two different leagues that are joining up to make a new pickleball league. | ||
| That's completely different than this, but yes, it seems like it will be a benefit in the long run. | ||
| I don't know how it can hurt. | ||
| I wonder if someone's thinking about doing that with MMA. Like a bigger company that has tons more money, capital. | ||
| You'd have to have so much more money. | ||
| Well, Saudis. | ||
| Because the UFC, they purchased the UFC for $4 billion. | ||
| And I think it's worth $10 now. | ||
| I think it's valued at $10 now. | ||
| And, you know, they picked it up. | ||
| And right when they picked it up, the pandemic hit. | ||
| And Dana White kept the fights rolling. | ||
| So the fights were rolling on while there was nothing else going on in the world of sports. | ||
| And they were playing them at the Apex. | ||
| The UFC had their own arena. | ||
| They put together a COVID bubble. | ||
| Everybody got tested. | ||
| You got tested before you got on your flight. | ||
| You got tested when you got there. | ||
| You got tested the day of the event. | ||
| They tested the shit out of everybody. | ||
| And no audience. | ||
| And they had world championship fights with no audience. | ||
| And an octagon that's 40% smaller than the regular octagon. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it's smaller for the building. | ||
| They decided to make a smaller, they always had a smaller octagon. | ||
| Like when we used to do fights at the Palms, we used to do like fight nights or when they used to do like the finals of The Ultimate Fighter, they would have them at the Palms and they'd have them in a small cage. | ||
| And then they decided they kind of liked the small cage. | ||
| Because the Palms was a small place where we would do it at. | ||
| When we did fight, see if you find fights at the Palms. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| Kickboxing at the Palms. | ||
| I saw Glory there. | ||
| I saw a bunch of shit at the Palms. | ||
| The Palms was a great spot. | ||
| And they used to have comedy. | ||
| Like, Cat Williams performed there. | ||
| They had comedy there, too. | ||
| It was this amazing little arena. | ||
| At the Palms. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was real intimate there. | ||
| You go to see fights. | ||
| I mean, I want to say there's just a few thousand people there. | ||
| That's a cool-looking room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's the pearl at the palms. | ||
| And the way that's set up, that's different than the way the UFC was set up. | ||
| The way the UFC was set up was like that, in the center. | ||
| And that's tinier than normal. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a small octagon. | ||
| That's a 40% smaller octagon in the apex. | ||
| I think it's the same size as the one they use at the palm. | ||
| I'm not exactly sure. | ||
| But a lot of fighters do not like it. | ||
| Guys who move around a lot, like Sugar Sean O'Malley, does not want to be at the apex. | ||
| He wants to move around. | ||
| I love you, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I've seen that collab of him just going, I love you, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love you too, buddy. | ||
| It makes me laugh. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, no, he's fucking awesome to watch. | ||
| Yeah, I interviewed him when he had a broken foot when he was on his back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He broke his foot. | ||
| What's that foot? | ||
| There's a really bad foot break. | ||
| Liz Frank. | ||
| He was out for two years. | ||
| He snapped the bone in the middle of his foot. | ||
| It's called Liz Frank? | ||
| It's called the Liz Frank injury. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like a name. | ||
| It's all L-I-S-F-R-A-N-C. Oh, Liz Frank. | ||
| On the screen, Joe, this is the arena that they're showing that this new indoor golf thing is going to happen next year. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It's going to be at night, an arena-type thing where everyone's yelling. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Back here, you're hitting to the sim like me and Andrew were doing back in the other room. | ||
| So is this the PGA as well? | ||
| I don't think it's the PGA. All I've heard is it's Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy have put this together. | ||
| Well, the PGA's sim, the logo's on it. | ||
| It's not called PGA, it's called TGL. It's also been unannounced fully. | ||
| They've just hinted at what's going to happen here or how it's going to work. | ||
| We don't really know. | ||
| It's like eight players are going to show up. | ||
| What are those numbers? | ||
| 466 yards. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| That's how long the hole was. | ||
| That's how far he hit, yeah. | ||
| That's how far he could drive it. | ||
| How far he has left probably. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Yeah, it says number one. | ||
| He's at 466 yards for the hole. | ||
| So they'll be in the back and they'll hit their first one or two shots into that giant screen and then come and finish on the green. | ||
| On the green. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And it'll probably change a little bit. | ||
| Now is Tiger back with his leg injury? | ||
| This allows him to compete. | ||
| Yeah, but he's not gonna... | ||
| We've seen the best we're ever going to see from him, and I think... | ||
| How fucked up is his leg? | ||
| I mean, it's bad. | ||
| You can tell when he swings, it looks different. | ||
| I mean, his son is the one to look for. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen his son. | ||
| His son looks incredible. | ||
| Let me see what it looks like when he swings now. | ||
| Show, like, Tiger Woods Drive. | ||
| Yeah, there's got to be... | ||
| I bet you there's a video of him before and after. | ||
| I mean, he just had to change everything because his... | ||
| And you can tell when he walks, he's in fucking pain. | ||
| Like, you can just tell he's just in pain. | ||
| And that poor guy, he's had, like, addictions to pain pills in the past. | ||
| Yeah, fuck yeah. | ||
| So is this him here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This was the most recent thing he's done. | ||
| Yeah, the thing they did. | ||
|
unidentified
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This was the match. | |
| That looks pretty fucking good. | ||
| Yeah, he's good. | ||
| No, he's still got it, without a doubt. | ||
| That looks pretty fucking good. | ||
| He's still Tiger Woods. | ||
| That still looks fucking amazing. | ||
| He can't walk. | ||
| He just can't walk is what I mean. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So he can do that because he can just deal with the pain? | ||
| He does, yeah. | ||
| And then when he walks... | ||
| What is it like when he walks? | ||
| Well, part of that traditional thing he's saying... | ||
| He gets to ride in a cart for this, and part of the thing that he's about to tell you is a big beef with the PGA is you have to have a medical exemption under wild circumstances like this to be able to have a cart during a real event. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Otherwise you'd have to walk miles. | ||
| You must walk, yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's kind of crazy, too, that you have to walk. | ||
| But is it fair that he has a medical exemption? | ||
| Do they let all these other guys do it as well because he does it? | ||
| Well, this is not a real tournament. | ||
| This is like a for fun. | ||
| Capital One sponsors this. | ||
| It goes to charity. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They got their Under Armour logos. | ||
| But in play, like in a tournament play of a real PGA match, they can't have carts. | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So even him? | ||
| He could. | ||
| All the players are saying, Tiger, please come play with us. | ||
| Ask for this exemption. | ||
| They will probably give it to you. | ||
| And he's like, nope. | ||
| Who is he talking to on the phone? | ||
| They have Charles Barkley and the people on the... | ||
| Yeah, he's talking to us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate to say it, but I'm going to admit it. | |
| He's probably talking shit to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have mics on so you can hear the golfers talking to their caddies and stuff and the PGA doesn't really allow that either. | |
| That's pretty cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a good insight that you don't get. | |
| Like, he looks good golfing, and he's been pretty competitive when he's gotten to compete. | ||
| What does it look like when he walks? | ||
| He's walking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, show him with his match with his son that they just did. | ||
| Do they show him walking around? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they keep commenting that he's in pain, and you can tell, dude. | ||
| I mean, he's a tough motherfucker. | ||
| This dude is tough as shit. | ||
| He's just going through... | ||
| You can tell he's just walking through the pain. | ||
| But you can tell when he'll hobble, he'll kind of, like, make a face. | ||
| And that's a couple of years ago, this injury, right? | ||
| Two years ago, right? | ||
| When the car crash was? | ||
| Yeah, here's him walking at the British Open last year. | ||
| This is a long walk. | ||
| I mean, we don't see him limping. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| You can see him limping here. | ||
| This is after a full round. | ||
| Yeah, you see how his right leg kind of bows in? | ||
| I mean, look, see right there? | ||
| I mean, he just, you can tell that he's kind of bowing, he's putting all this weight on one hip. | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| We're really pulling hairs here, but I just trust him. | ||
| He's like, I can't do it. | ||
| Well, see, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| We say not bad. | ||
| You know the truth. | ||
| You know pro athletes. | ||
| They're just tough. | ||
| He's like, fuck it. | ||
| I'm just going to do it. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| This is also like a historical thing. | ||
| It's the 150th British Open. | ||
| He made a big effort just to get to be able to do this. | ||
| So he probably worked for months. | ||
| People can tolerate pain, man, at incredible levels. | ||
| You know, when I had David Goggins on, David Goggins explained the operation that he had to get done on his knee because he has no cartilage in his knees. | ||
| It's bone on bone. | ||
| He runs like a thousand miles. | ||
| His doctor said, I can't believe you can walk in this knee. | ||
| Never mind run thousands of miles. | ||
| And it's just pure will. | ||
| Just pure will. | ||
| And the overcoming of pain. | ||
| And because there's just bone on bone, the bone was all distorted and fucking overgrowth and shit to try to deal with all this inflammation. | ||
| So then they had to cut his bone. | ||
| And slide it down to make an even, flat joint. | ||
| That's nuts, dude. | ||
| And still, even then, he's just bone on bone. | ||
| He's still running. | ||
| Still running. | ||
| Dude's nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great. | |
| I mean, that's fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still running. | |
| Running the Bigfoot 240. What is that? | ||
| 238 miles. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He ran... | |
| The Moab. | ||
| That's what he ran. | ||
| The Moab 240. Yeah. | ||
| I think the Bigfoot's 200. Do you run? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| I hurt my knee... | ||
| A couple of times and I've been over the last like, say seven or eight months, I don't even kick the bag anymore. | ||
| I've been dealing with it. | ||
| I had an MCL tear and I rehabbed it and I got stem cells shot into it. | ||
| But my dumb ass kept going back to working out, like throwing kicks. | ||
| And every time I would go to Muay Thai and every time I'd hit the pads, I'd never hit them light. | ||
| I'd start hitting them light and then I'd want to work! | ||
| I want to feel that fucking whack! | ||
| It's just too much fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it is. | |
| It's too much fun to be able to do that. | ||
| To be able to really kick hard is so fun. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| Well, it looks fun. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| But see, I would look like... | ||
| You look like swinging a golf club. | ||
| I look like kicking a fucking bag. | ||
| But you could learn it. | ||
| Yeah, with time. | ||
| But it's a thing that when you get it to a level where I can do it, it's so unusual to be able to generate that kind of power. | ||
| So when I step up to a heavy bag, it's just my automatic instinct is just to fucking dig my toes in. | ||
| I just want to fucking torque my body and swing my hips in and Tighten up my abs. | ||
| It's exciting. | ||
| No more though. | ||
| I can still do it. | ||
| I just have to wait a little while. | ||
| It's much, much, much better. | ||
| My knee doesn't give me any pain anymore. | ||
| This hunting season in the mountains, no pain at all. | ||
| I've been doing this knees over toes rehabilitation. | ||
| You ever heard of that guy? | ||
| Knees over toes guys on Instagram? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He's an expert in—well, he's a fitness trainer, and he had a bunch of injuries himself from playing basketball, and to the point where they were saying, like, look, you're too fragile, your knees keep fucking up, you're never going to be able to play. | ||
| And so he figured out ways to strengthen and rehabilitate his knees. | ||
| And he developed this knees over toes program. | ||
| It's a scalable program. | ||
| You start off with just like walking backwards and pulling a light sled backwards and doing certain things till you get to the point where you can have strength in a full range of motion with your knees doing things like that. | ||
| Oh, dude, I have seen this guy. | ||
| I've seen him. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking insane. | ||
| And if you can get to that, and he, it's not like a trick. | ||
| He has a, like, look, walking backward on a treadmill, doing tibia raises, and it's all to strengthen the muscles around the knee and the stabilizing muscles of the knee, which most people are very weak in. | ||
| You know, people have, like, strong quads, but they don't have the exercises in their repertoire that... | ||
| Develops all the muscles around the knee and this guy's developed this whole program. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| So I do all his stuff. | ||
| I do a lot of stuff on a slant board. | ||
| I do squats like air squats and then weighted squats on a slant board and I have this thing that I use for my legs from a place called, I think it's called Animal House Fitness and it's called a monkey foot and it clamps onto a barbell. | ||
| You strap it onto your shoe. | ||
| And it clamps onto a dumbbell, so you can pick up dumbbells with your foot. | ||
| So you can do knee raises and leg curls and leg extensions and really strengthen all the muscles around your knee and around your hip flexors. | ||
| Because lifting with your legs this way, like a reverse squat, is another excellent way to develop speed and power. | ||
| So this is his company, Animal House Fitness. | ||
| They sent me these. | ||
| These are fucking amazing. | ||
| I bring these on the road with me. | ||
| I bring one of those things. | ||
| Because if I go to a small gym, I can still get a really good leg workout. | ||
| And that's one thing that I do that really works well with those hip muscles and stabilizing muscles. | ||
| But there's another thing you do where you take a cable pulling machine. | ||
| And you attach the straps to your insteps and then you pull with your feet forward towards your chest. | ||
| So like a reverse squat. | ||
| So instead of like lifting weights by pushing up off the ground, you're pulling it towards you. | ||
| Phenomenal for your abs. | ||
| It's like one of the best ab workouts. | ||
| Think about knee raises, but think about knee raises times 10. So, you know, I'm doing this with 100 pounds for 10 reps, and it really builds the strength in your ab muscles and your hip flexors, and you tie it into your shoes like this. | ||
| So you pull that thing down, you cinch it up, and then you back up, and then you're just using the muscles. | ||
| See, but it looks like he's doing it at just the regular ones at the gym. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, that's what I use. | ||
| I use a regular pulley machine at the gym with those straps. | ||
| So I do it with the monkey feet, but I also do it with that. | ||
| So you're developing muscles, and it's phenomenal for kicking, too, because the hip flexors and all these muscles at the top of the thighs, they don't get worked out with weights very often. | ||
| So you really develop those by hitting a bag, which is the best way to develop technique, but you can develop additional power by doing that. | ||
| You ever want to kick anybody anymore? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Of course. | ||
| Why don't you kick somebody? | ||
| If I could kick like you, I'd love to kick them. | ||
| Yeah, but then they kick you back. | ||
| I don't think you're worried about anybody kicking you back. | ||
| I'm worried about people kicking you back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| People like me. | ||
| Yeah, but there's not a lot of yous, dude. | ||
| But if I was going to fight someone, I'd fight someone like me. | ||
| And then they would kick me the way I'd want to kick them? | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| No thanks, dude. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| That's the rule of life. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| He's gonna kick me like I kick him. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's also guys break their legs kicking people. | ||
| You know, someone checks it and you catch your shin the wrong way and it snaps in half. | ||
| Let's say there's a guy that's your size. | ||
| Your size guy. | ||
| All circumstances are gone as far as who you are in the world of fame and getting in trouble. | ||
| I don't want to hurt anybody. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But let's just say a guy wants to fight you, and you can. | ||
| Because of the bubble that we're in in my mental mind, there's no trouble that's going to happen. | ||
| Are you going to punch this guy first or kick him first? | ||
| What's your first shot? | ||
| It would completely depend upon the circumstances. | ||
| Completely depend upon how much room you have to move around in. | ||
| How much danger you're in, whether or not you can just grab him. | ||
| He walks in here. | ||
| I'd rather grab somebody. | ||
| If I grab someone, I can contain them. | ||
| And get them to the ground? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Let's just say it's just punch or kick. | ||
| What are you doing first? | ||
| It depends on the circumstances. | ||
| It depends on how far the person is from you. | ||
| Jamie's laughing. | ||
| It depends on everything. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I knew you were going to give... | ||
| Just give me a fucking... | ||
| Depends on everything. | ||
| Give me an ape answer. | ||
| Give me a monkey brain answer. | ||
| Well, if you have to get something done very quickly, a punch to the face is a very quick thing. | ||
| Okay, so you're going to punch first. | ||
| The movement from standing, talking to someone, to punching them in the face is a fraction of a second. | ||
| BAM! If you have a good, clean, straight punch and you know how to throw it fast, if you know that you have to hit somebody and you want to hit them before they hit you, that's a good way to go. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I just wanted to know what your instinct was. | ||
| If you had to do it. | ||
| It's a punch always. | ||
| If you're fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a speed thing. | ||
| I just want to see you kick somebody. | ||
| I don't want to see me kick somebody. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I did it for a long time. | ||
| There's a weird, bittersweet thing about knocking someone unconscious. | ||
| It doesn't feel that good. | ||
| You think it feels great. | ||
| It feels very weird. | ||
| And it feels like that could have easily been you. | ||
| And I watched a lot of my friends get knocked out, too. | ||
| I saw a lot of friends get knocked out where they kind of weren't the same again. | ||
| They really never recovered. | ||
| I saw some people get really badly knocked out, and they were always a little fucking weird afterwards. | ||
| They were always like something was wrong with them. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| This is me and Jamie. | ||
| This guy on the left tells this guy, he's like, you want to lose your kneecap? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| It's not a good idea to say that, I think. | ||
| Did he kick him in the knees? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
| Dude gets knocked out after threatening to break man's kneecap. | ||
| Well, that was that, I guess. | ||
| That's the end of that. | ||
| So what did he say? | ||
| I'm going to break your fucking kneecap? | ||
| You want to lose your fucking kneecap? | ||
| Oh, that guy knows how to fight. | ||
| Yeah, it was pretty good. | ||
| Because he opens with a left hook. | ||
| Watch us. | ||
| He goes, what? | ||
| So fast. | ||
| The way he left hooks him, that's a guy that knows how to fight. | ||
| 100% he's done that to people before. | ||
| And probably in competition. | ||
| He opens with a left hook. | ||
| Who opens with a left hook? | ||
| But I gotta be honest with you. | ||
| Not like I'm criticizing. | ||
| It's almost like he's like, are you talking to me? | ||
| Yeah, he leans into him a little bit. | ||
| He's like, I'm gonna fucking hit you. | ||
| He didn't have to do that. | ||
| No, he did not have to do it. | ||
| But he works at NASA. I just saw on his shirt there. | ||
| He's a NASA guy. | ||
| He's an astronaut. | ||
| No more rockets for him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it for you, Pat. | ||
| Well, the problem with that is people die. | ||
| They fall and they hit their head and they die. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| He's fighting on a parking lot. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| You fall, you bang your head off a curb. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| I got kicked in the face in college in a fight. | ||
| Did you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Guy kicked you in the face? | ||
| Well, the side of... | ||
| I should say the side of my face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Were you on the ground? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| That's scary. | ||
| Me and a couple of buddies, we got the shit... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| They remember. | ||
| They know. | ||
| My buddies know. | ||
| Colin, Travis, they remember. | ||
| Bunch of drunk bros. | ||
| Apartment complex. | ||
| Scottsdale. | ||
| Well, by school. | ||
| It was by ASU. A car. | ||
| A guy was driving drunk and backed out of a spot. | ||
| Almost hit a girl. | ||
| My buddy was trying to be a hero. | ||
| Protect the girl. | ||
| And all these guys came out. | ||
| And at first I was like, we don't have to fight these guys. | ||
| Do we have to fight these guys? | ||
| And then they started fighting and I was like... | ||
| I don't want to fight these guys. | ||
| There were so many more of these guys. | ||
| I was like, this is not fun. | ||
| We're going to get fucked up. | ||
| And of course your friends are like, don't be a bitch! | ||
| And you're like, I want to be a bitch. | ||
| I want to go home. | ||
| And I got kicked in the fucking... | ||
| It wasn't fair. | ||
| It was like seven. | ||
| We were three of us or four of us maybe at the most. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Yeah, it hurt. | ||
| Being on the ground hurts. | ||
| It's so dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, I hated it. | ||
| It was fucking, it sucked. | ||
| I watched a World Star Hip Hop once where this guy got knocked out and then everybody ran by and kicked him in the head while he was unconscious. | ||
| Yeah, that I don't like. | ||
| That stuff's... | ||
| It was so scary. | ||
| Yucky. | ||
| Because it was like, as this guy kept getting kicked in the head, I was like, that's closer to death. | ||
| That's closer to death. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Easily could have died. | ||
| Might be dead. | ||
| I don't even know if a guy lived. | ||
| Yeah, that's the only thing about when you would let me come see UFC, you know, because admittedly, I don't know enough about it. | ||
| I'm not filled in. | ||
| I love watching it, and I love that you bring me. | ||
| But I was always like, man, when I saw somebody get worked, I was like, oh my god, I'm watching part of his life leave him. | ||
| It's like I'm watching a couple of years go by. | ||
| Well, if you're watching a guy like Khabib Nurmagomedov just smash some guy, get on top of him and smash him, you're watching with each subsequent elbow, with each punch, you're closer to death. | ||
| You're not going to answer this. | ||
| How much longer do you think you'll announce UFC? That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I thought about it. | ||
| Because I'll always be a fan. | ||
| I always watch it. | ||
| And I do enjoy commenting. | ||
| But it is kind of weird that I still do it. | ||
| It's a weird gig. | ||
| Do you love it still? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| When the fights are going on and I got my fucking suit on there and I'm sitting there and I'm all excited. | ||
| I'm filled up with monster energy drinks. | ||
| I'm fired up, man. | ||
| I will say, as your friend, it's so funny, like, being friends with you and watching what people don't know or don't get to feel is when we go to, like, the thing together and, like, you getting excited and getting ready. | ||
| Your energy is much different than when you and I are going to do a show. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's totally different. | ||
| Well, it's just, like, it's cool to see. | ||
| Because your process is totally different. | ||
| But it's just, you're a different you than when you and I are traveling and doing a show. | ||
| Same kind of intensity that you're bringing to stand-up, just it's a different vector of the brain. | ||
| It's certainly different than I never try to be funny. | ||
| I'm not trying to be funny at all. | ||
| But remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| He tried to do a bunch of one-liners. | ||
| People are like, get that fucking guy out of here. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it's bad. | ||
| There's a time and a place for jokes. | ||
| I've had some funny moments where some shit happened and I crack a joke about something, but it's rare. | ||
| There was one time this guy dropped a bag of ice in the middle of the octagon on this guy's head and the ice fell everywhere and they panicked and they just ran out of there. | ||
| I'm yelling out, clean it up! | ||
| Get back in there! | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| It's kind of like a famous clip because it was so ridiculous because these guys had tried to... | ||
| The ice spill! | ||
| The ice spill! | ||
| That's a fucking clip! | ||
| So it's in the middle of this fight. | ||
| Someone spilled ice in the octagon. | ||
| That's a big problem. | ||
| That's a lot of ice. | ||
| So it's Melvin Gallard. | ||
| Look at all that ice! | ||
| This is a disaster. | ||
| Oh no, this is good. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| They knocked the bucket over. | ||
| This is the free stooges. | ||
| What are you freaks doing? | ||
| Everybody's booing. | ||
| Now there's even more pressure. | ||
| Oh, now they're sweeping it out. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Put it on the side and watch Ariane fall on her head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| This is Joe Rogan doing play-by-play of ice being spilled inside the octagon. | ||
| It's still too much. | ||
| Get back in there! | ||
| You're not done! | ||
| There's ice all over the floor! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are these guys doing? | |
| Those guys bailed. | ||
| There's a hundred pieces of ice still on the floor. | ||
| And these guys just scrambled out because of the pressure. | ||
| We need a Zamboni. | ||
| Let's take a look. | ||
| Let's take a look at it. | ||
| Watch it. | ||
| Here's the bag. | ||
| They get it on top of Hany's Taurus' back. | ||
| And watch the sucker open up. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| Oh, what a disaster. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's ice everywhere. | |
| Those corner men. | ||
| Somebody needs to kick their ass. | ||
| I can't fight. | ||
| And Hany's... | ||
| So that was a rare time where I'm fucking around. | ||
| Where you're joking around. | ||
| But it's like just me and my boy Mike Goldberg watching this fucking disaster take place. | ||
| I have to make fun of it. | ||
| Well, what else could you have done? | ||
| I can't do anything. | ||
| You can't go back. | ||
| And it did, not to fucking tease those poor dudes, but that guy you could tell inside was like, fuck, you're fucking it up. | ||
| You're fucking it up. | ||
| You could tell he was fumbling. | ||
| You knew he kept fucking it up. | ||
| So much pressure. | ||
| So much pressure. | ||
| Full T-Mobile arena or wherever the fuck it was. | ||
| Full pack house at the MGM. But most of the time when I'm doing it, I'm trying to just do my best to explain what's happening and to give life to it. | ||
| I'm interested to see, as your buddy, what's the next... | ||
| Moving here was a big thing. | ||
| The club is a big thing. | ||
| What's your next thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| Nah, there's something. | ||
| Do stand up. | ||
| Do this. | ||
| Fucking lie. | ||
| Something's coming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you talking about? | |
| I think you're a guy who forever will want to be building something or growing something or making something or changing something. | ||
| So I think whether you know it or not, you're going to keep... | ||
| This was unexpected. | ||
| You weren't supposed to come to Austin. | ||
| It wasn't like a thing you said 30 years ago where like, man, I got to get to LA. I'm going to Austin. | ||
| This happened. | ||
| I think there are things because of who you are, shit's going to continue to happen and things will continue to change and you'll build and grow and open up something else and change something else. | ||
| I know it. | ||
| You're not a sit still guy. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I'm not sitting still. | ||
| I'm just doing what I like to do. | ||
| I found what I like to do. | ||
| I do those things. | ||
| By way of, I do think other things will organically happen and change and, you know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, I'm saying it. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| What about you? | ||
| Then move to New York? | ||
| Move to New York is going to be big. | ||
| You know, it's a weird beginning of the year. | ||
| You know, I put the special out on Netflix. | ||
| I have a movie that comes out in like a day that I have a couple of parts in. | ||
| Another movie that's... | ||
| What's the movie? | ||
| It's called House Party. | ||
| They remade House Party. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I'm the white. | ||
| Show the fucking poster. | ||
| I'm the white. | ||
| There are no... | ||
| I am the white. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Was it fun? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I had a good time, but I'm barely in it. | ||
| But they put me on the poster because I'm the goofy white neighbor, and you look like this. | ||
| It's like a sea of cool... | ||
| Did you get to see any of the filming? | ||
| Look at me, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at you! | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's out on Friday. | ||
| So who put this together? | ||
| Well, I mean... | ||
| Kid and Play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Kid and Play... | ||
| Doesn't Kid do stand-up still? | ||
| That I don't know. | ||
| I think he does. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| He started doing stand-up, remember? | ||
| He did a few movies, and then he was doing stand-up. | ||
| Like back in the day or now? | ||
| Like in the 90s? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if he's still doing it now. | ||
| Find out if he's still doing stand-up. | ||
| He might be still doing stand-up. | ||
| He might just be hitting the road. | ||
| But LeBron's production company put it on. | ||
| I mean, I got asked to do it. | ||
| And they were like, well, you play this fun neighbor that harasses these two young black kids. | ||
| And I was like, you better believe it. | ||
| I said, what do you want me to play my dad? | ||
| So you did that? | ||
| You got another movie coming out? | ||
| An indie movie that's a small little baby thing and then Dave, the third season of that show comes out in March and then my Netflix special. | ||
| So it's like the beginning of the year has a lot happening and I'm like, that's why I'm like, I want to see what happens and go to New York and have a little change and see what makes of it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Mix it up. | ||
| You gotta change it up, man. | ||
| Mix it up! | ||
| Maybe I'll move here. | ||
| Maybe you move here. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Once the club opens up, I'm going to try to lure you. | ||
| I was going to say. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
| When that club's open, it'll change everything. | ||
| Also, I'll try to draw you in. | ||
| Then I got some competition down here with Jamie now that he's fucking got his little track man out there. | ||
| Well, at least in the driving, but I don't think Jamie can compete with you in the rest of the golf game. | ||
| I got a lot of work to go. | ||
| I'll help you out a little bit. | ||
| We'll put some puzzle pieces together. | ||
| Just some simple bets. | ||
| Yeah, just some tiny stuff. | ||
| A couple hundred grand. | ||
| Yeah, we were talking about it before. | ||
| You know, Jordan bets like a hundred grand a hole. | ||
| What? | ||
| Charles Barkley just did an interview where he was saying how like him and he doesn't do that. | ||
| Like him and Jordan bet for a couple hundred bucks. | ||
| But Jordan, what was it? | ||
| It's printed out somewhere in an article that he said the most he saw I think was a hundred G's or two hundred G's a hole or something like that. | ||
| I don't even remember what it was. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to fucking play Jordan. | ||
| Even if you're good, even if you're good. | ||
| So it's $180,000 a game, right? | ||
| If you're doing 18 holes. | ||
| Well, it depends on if you're doing skins or like if you carry over. | ||
| Some people don't do carry over, right? | ||
| Like if you push a hole, some people push the hole, but I imagine he carries over. | ||
| So yeah, I guess you'd, yeah. | ||
| The problem with that is he's a billionaire. | ||
| Too much. | ||
| That's what Charles was saying. | ||
| He's like, it doesn't matter to him. | ||
| He doesn't think about it. | ||
| What's a hundred grand to Michael Jordan? | ||
| That's exactly what Charles said. | ||
| I think it's Jeremy Roenick that's telling this story. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the hockey player. | ||
| This is a crazy story. | ||
| It's two minutes long. | ||
| I think it's worth playing right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Back in the 90s, when the Bulls were on fire, this was... | |
| End of the season for us, end of the season for them. | ||
| I get a call from Michael. | ||
| Meet me at Sunset Ridge. | ||
| Early, we're going to go play 18 holes. | ||
| We didn't have a game. | ||
| We actually had a day off. | ||
| So I meet him at Sunset Ridge. | ||
| Big old Greg Kunkel, who's one of the best people in golf here in Chicago. | ||
| I've got to mention Greg at Sunset Ridge. | ||
| So we played around, beat him for a couple thousand, and I'm getting ready to leave. | ||
| Now, Bulls are playing that night. | ||
| They play Cleveland. | ||
| That night. | ||
| So I'm thinking he's leaving. | ||
| It's 10 o'clock. | ||
| He's like, no, let's go play again. | ||
| So we fill up a bag full of ice and pours light and we walk again. | ||
| We roll around another 18. I take him for another couple. | ||
| Couple? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now we've been drinking all afternoon. | ||
| Now he's going from Sunset Ridge to... | ||
| To the stadium. | ||
| To play a game. | ||
| And I'm like messing around. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to call my bookie. | ||
| All the money that you just lost to me, I'm putting on Cleveland tonight. | ||
| He goes, I'll tell you what. | ||
| He goes, I'll bet you that we win by 20 points and I have more than 40. I'm like, done. | ||
| Son of a gun goes out, scores 52, and they win by 26 or something. | ||
| After 18 holes of golf. | ||
| 36 holes of golf. | ||
| 36 holes of golf and having like maybe 10 Bud Lights. | ||
| The man... | ||
| Michael Jordan, to me, is probably the best athlete that I've ever seen, that I've ever been around and watched play and, you know, the way he presented himself and played the game. | ||
| I mean, just amazing. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| That would have been 92? | ||
| 92. So early. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Superhuman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| 10 beers. | ||
| I'm so tired playing one round with like three beers in a shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
10 beers, 36 holes, and then he scores 52 points. | |
| Superhuman. | ||
| Not the only time he did that, too. | ||
| Not the only time. | ||
| He did it before the finals. | ||
| He played John Stockton. | ||
| There's stories of him trying to beat down opponents playing golf. | ||
| There's rumors. | ||
| There's tons of different rumor stories about he could fucking go out all night, drink, hang out, have fun, wake up, you know, at fucking 5, 6 in the morning, work out, go play a game and score just as many as he would if he wasn't fucking blacked out the night before. | ||
| Didn't affect him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Superhuman shit. | ||
| That guy was a super... | ||
| It's just... | ||
| He's one of those guys where I'm sure all of the lore is real. | ||
| Where you're like... | ||
| Every story where someone's like, really? | ||
| It's like, I bet. | ||
| I bet you. | ||
| Isn't it amazing that even amongst the most hyper-competitive elite athletes, there's one that just stands out. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just stands out as the freak of all freaks. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I love that there's things like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love that there's people. | ||
| I love the people that defy all the logic. | ||
| Even though people hate Floyd Mayweather, I love Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| He's so entertaining. | ||
| I love the fact this guy is almost 50 years old and he's still taking pictures with all his watches. | ||
| When I go on a trip for 10 days, I bring 10 watches. | ||
| If I go on a trip for 20 days, I'll bring 10 more watches. | ||
| If it's a 30 day trip, I'll bring out the biggest of the big. | ||
| And he pulls out like this fucking million dollar watch is covered in diamonds. | ||
| It's fucking insane. | ||
| But he was on a thing. | ||
| There was like an interview where they were like, how much is that watch worth? | ||
| And he's like, $500,000. | ||
| And they were like, well, and he's like, I don't know if that was what it was. | ||
| But then he's like, I made 5 million today. | ||
| And they're like, really? | ||
| He's like, today, just now. | ||
| I think I made 5 million dollars. | ||
| He's such an entertainer. | ||
| It doesn't even matter what's true or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fun. | |
| Look at all that. | ||
| But it's also what he can do as an athlete. | ||
| I mean, the fact that the guy is still making millions and millions of dollars fighting people who have no business fighting him, including Logan Paul. | ||
| He fights a guy that's 200 pounds, a young, big, brutish athlete. | ||
| He's a big fella. | ||
| I mean, he's 200 plus. | ||
| I would say 220. He's a big kid. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what he had to weigh in at. | ||
| I don't know what the deal was. | ||
| But Floyd never fought more than 154 in his life. | ||
| He's not a big guy. | ||
| He never fought middleweight or light heavyweight. | ||
| Certainly didn't fight a heavyweight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Logan was huge! | ||
| When you see the two of them in the ring together, you're like, oh my god, this is crazy! | ||
| What'd he say? | ||
| 190, basically. | ||
| 189.5. | ||
| Floyd Wade, 155. And Logan Wade, 190. I'll tell you, I stood next to that kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I went and did his show. | ||
| Why does it say 189, 1.5? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
189. It must be 189. Yeah, I think the way that they got the one, they just missed four minutes. | |
| Yeah, 189.5. | ||
| Which is, he probably had to dry himself out to make that way. | ||
| He's bigger than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I stood next to him, he's a big kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he's big. | ||
| The fact that Floyd, obviously, he's not nearly as skilled as Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| Oh, but it's a different world. | ||
| But the fact that Floyd Mayweather said, fuck it, I'll fight that big dude. | ||
| Did you ever see when Shaq fought Oscar De La Hoya? | ||
| Look at the size difference. | ||
| The size difference is fucking insane. | ||
| But that's Floyd. | ||
| I mean, and I don't know how much money he made from that, but I think he still owes Logan Paul money. | ||
| Yeah, there's some sort of a lawsuit. | ||
| I don't know if it's a dispute. | ||
| I don't know who's right. | ||
| But there is some sort of a lawsuit where he claims that he still owes millions of dollars. | ||
| I like the word dispute. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what's going on. | ||
| With promotions and stuff like that, is it based on pay-per-view points? | ||
| Were you promised a certain amount? | ||
| You didn't get it? | ||
| Did they not sell as many pay-per-views as they thought they were? | ||
| I don't know how that all works. | ||
| I want to just tell you this, because you said that, it reminded me, my childhood best friend told me a story one time, he was on the train in Chicago, and this guy sees a guy, he recognizes from across the train, He's like, yo! | ||
| What the fuck is up? | ||
| And they're yelling across people. | ||
| He goes, what the fuck is up with you? | ||
| And he's like, not the man! | ||
| And they're chatting across the train. | ||
| My buddy said he was standing in between them. | ||
| And they're yelling over people. | ||
| And the one guy goes, hey man, how's... | ||
| Whatever his name. | ||
| How's Marco? | ||
| And the other guy goes, he's dead. | ||
| And he goes, damn! | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| And the other guy goes, it was a dispute. | ||
| And he was like, all word? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Like the most generic, like, it was a dispute. | ||
| And he understood it. | ||
| He was like, uh-huh. | ||
| That's a good way to handle that. | ||
| Ask no more questions. | ||
| It was a dispute. | ||
| That's a funny way that you would only talk in a crowded room and you're yelling over people. | ||
| He's not going to give any more information. | ||
| He was like, it was a dispute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He no longer is with us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's interesting that it didn't go towards each other. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| They're on a crowded ass train. | ||
| They just were fucking yelling at each other. | ||
| I just think that city culture that I do love, that I'm missing, that's why I want to go somewhere else. | ||
| I like the fucking buzz. | ||
| I like being annoyed. | ||
| I like... | ||
| Schultz does too. | ||
| I like being annoyed. | ||
| Schultz told me that when he went to Miami, he was worried he was going to get soft. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| They had too much fun down there. | ||
| Oh, it's just boring. | ||
| It's almost like there is no... | ||
| LA is that to me too now. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah, there's not enough humming. | ||
| I want more hum. | ||
| I want more of a hum. | ||
| I just want to feel the hum of people and bullshit and be pissed off and... | ||
| Are you going to hop around and go from club to club? | ||
| Do like five sets a night? | ||
| Well, I think, you know, look, the cellar's been really good to me. | ||
| And so I definitely will go over there for sure. | ||
| The stand, I've popped in a few times. | ||
| You know, I'm not filled in enough about where I need to be going. | ||
| So I'll figure it out. | ||
| But the cellar's always been really good to me. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| Yeah, man, I'm excited. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like the idea. | ||
| Me too, babe. | ||
| Ari needs a buddy too. | ||
| Yeah, he does. | ||
| He needs new friends. | ||
| He needs a sensible friend. | ||
| He can't just talk to his fucking dog all day. | ||
| He makes out with his dog. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| Yeah, I don't like that shit. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| I've had conversations. | ||
| He does it in front of you. | ||
| He does it on the air. | ||
| He did it during the podcast. | ||
| Weird white people shit. | ||
| Letting your dog lick your mouth. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| He encourages it. | ||
| I'll hug my dog. | ||
| I love my dog. | ||
| Doesn't lick my mouth. | ||
| My dog gives me kisses, but they're on my face. | ||
| Yeah, in my mouth. | ||
| He opens his mouth like a psycho and lets it lick the roof of his mouth. | ||
| And he thinks it's funny. | ||
| And I kind of want him to get really sick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This dog's going to be eating shit in a park somewhere. | |
| I want him to get some bacteria from the park in his mouth. | ||
| I read about a lady who had to get her arm amputated because her dog licked her and she got madly infected. | ||
| Yeah, but don't let it lick your open orifice. | ||
| I think last time I did the podcast, which was a while ago, we watched that woman... | ||
| Who let the wolves lick her mouth. | ||
| Do you remember that woman? | ||
| That fucking crazy woman. | ||
| She would like open her mouth and wolves would like... | ||
| This is wild. | ||
| You know she lets those wolves fuck her. | ||
| Hell yeah, dude. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Woman has her hands and legs amputated after a dog licks her. | ||
| The symptoms are so rapid in progression there was nothing they could do, family says. | ||
| Except tell her to stop letting dogs lick her fucking mouth. | ||
| You could do that. | ||
| This is a PSA. I don't think it was her mouth. | ||
| They didn't cut her head off. | ||
| I don't think it was her arms. | ||
| Yeah, but how does it infect you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know, man. | |
| Just saliva? | ||
| It's got to get in. | ||
| Yeah, it has to be some toxic shit in the dog's saliva. | ||
| Just on her skin, that's all it was. | ||
| Well, think about it. | ||
| What if a dog goes out and... | ||
| Dogs can eat all kinds of stuff. | ||
| I know, but this sounds like one of those stories where she doesn't want to tell everyone the truth. | ||
| That's a horrible story, man. | ||
| They're like, Mary, where did she lick? | ||
| She's like, just on my arm. | ||
| Just on your arm. | ||
| How many women throughout history have put peanut butter on their pussy? | ||
| I think an endless amount and we'll never know. | ||
| We'll never know. | ||
| They'll never admit it. | ||
| It probably feels amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you had a clit and the dog was licking it, it probably feels amazing. | |
| I love it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Probably feels really good. | ||
| Because it's so muscular and big, the tongue is enormous. | ||
| Slop, slop. | ||
| Especially you got like a Rottweiler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| They probably... | ||
| Oh my god, the dog doesn't know anything's wrong, you know? | ||
| No victims. | ||
| Someone at PETA right now is... | ||
| There's no victim! | ||
| Losing their mind. | ||
| Dog likes peanut butter, you like getting your pussy licked. | ||
| What the fuck's the problem? | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| What are you gonna do about that? | ||
| Andrew Santino, I think we did more than three hours. | ||
| We did, I think. | ||
| Where we at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Well, I love you, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I love you, too, buddy. | ||
| And Cheeseburger. | ||
| It's available right now on Netflix. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious. | ||
| Your new shit is hilarious, too. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| The new shit you did last night. | ||
| Very funny. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're a fucking man. | |
| I love you to death. | ||
| I love you, man. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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