Speaker | Time | Text |
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
Hello, Nate. | ||
Joe. | ||
unidentified
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Good to see you, my friend. | |
Good to see you, buddy. | ||
It was fun last night. | ||
unidentified
|
It was fun doing a gig. | |
It was fun. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, that worked out great. | ||
I came here, like, you know, to go do a spot. | ||
I was in two very different environments of just a corporate gig and then the Vulcan. | ||
But it was awesome. | ||
It was awesome to get to see your hour. | ||
It's tight, my friend. | ||
Thank you. | ||
It really was. | ||
It was very fun. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Which was, I'm a big fan of fun. | ||
Me too. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I'm like, stuff's not getting as fun anymore. | ||
It was fun. | ||
It's like you can see when everybody's watching something, and it's like they're just having a good time. | ||
It's just a fun... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, you know, what comedy is. | ||
Stand-up is, you're like, enjoy it. | ||
Let's have fun. | ||
I think there's still people doing that. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
But there's a lot of people who have kind of lost their way. | ||
Yeah, and I think you're going to see a separation, though. | ||
I think it will be. | ||
It's people that are going to, you know, not want to go on the road anymore. | ||
It's a lot to go do stand-up. | ||
And so I think you're going to see the pandemic almost, like, split it to be like, all right, who, like, did whatever they had to do to do shows where they did them outside? | ||
They, you know, just try to stay funny during the pandemic. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
Versus? | ||
Versus just collapsing on themselves and not being funny. | ||
And it's a muscle. | ||
Have you noticed how many people have gotten very, very political on Twitter during the pandemic? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It became, especially comedians, and I'm not trying to be mean, but who... | ||
We're not that good. | ||
And we're not that successful. | ||
You know? | ||
They were kind of like, kind of hanging on. | ||
And now you go to their fucking Twitter feed and it's just this political extravaganza. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's, I mean, and they go deep. | ||
They're like people who know, like... | ||
Third string quarterbacks that play for colleges. | ||
That's how they handle politics. | ||
They'll talk about obscure senators from North Dakota. | ||
You're like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
We should know who they are. | ||
But they're obsessed with it in this very weird way. | ||
I think they're distracting themselves from the fact that their career is kind of gone. | ||
And so now they're just mostly concentrating on politics. | ||
I think it's a, and two, for some, I always look at it as like a cash grab. | ||
Like sometimes it's like, it's a quick like, alright, you get some, you think some steam on this kind of thing. | ||
Maybe some tweets or some, whatever. | ||
You feel like you're being, you're having a lot of reaction in the Twitter world. | ||
And so you think like, alright, this is, I'll do this as a career. | ||
Like you're trying to pick your lane. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
And then they go down that lane, and that lane just can't sustain. | ||
It's like when you go watch a stand-up comedy, you have to have an act. | ||
People will go watch someone for once, but if they do not have an act, no one's going to come back. | ||
An act is what it's about. | ||
You go to Vegas, you still go to Vegas, David Copperfield has to do an act. | ||
That's why Carrot Top's been in Vegas for 30 years, whenever he's been there, because there's an act. | ||
And you're like, I bought this, and I'm watching this for one hour, and it was entertaining, and I leave, and I have a good time. | ||
You have to create an act. | ||
It can't be this trick that's kind of like, I'll trick you to get in the door, But then you can go watch it. | ||
I see it with like, there's some, you know, you see people on Instagram, and I don't know them, but some of them are like these rappers, and they have like 5 million followers or something, and you're like, is this guy, or is he like super famous or something? | ||
And then, but you're like, I don't know if he is, like I don't, I think it's like he's famous on Instagram. | ||
He's famous for people watching that, but you're like, I don't know if this guy's selling tickets. | ||
And I don't know, I'm sure it's more than just... | ||
I've just seen a couple of the rappers. | ||
I started following one, because I was curious to be like, what's this dude's life? | ||
Like, you know, you just want to watch him. | ||
He's doing some, you know, they're doing rock venues, and they're doing all this, and there are millions of followers, and they have all the stuff, the watches, and you're like, I'm just like, is this guy, is it, you know, they sell, is that guy going to sell out Madison Square Garden? | ||
And I don't know if he... | ||
I don't know if it is. | ||
I mean, maybe it is. | ||
Maybe I'm completely wrong. | ||
But it's the fascinating... | ||
You get this audience that's on board with you with social media, but they're not going to translate. | ||
They're not going to go with you for your career. | ||
People want to grow with their people, I think. | ||
If you like someone, you're like, I'd like to grow. | ||
You see them have a family, and then they have this, and they kind of just keep talking about their evolution of life. | ||
And that's what you enjoy watching. | ||
Yeah, and that's like the whole process when you put out a special of developing new material and then making sure that it's up to snuff and then recording again. | ||
How many years, what is your process in terms of how much time do you do in between specials? | ||
This one, I taped the last one in 2020 because it came out in early 21 and I'm taping the next one in September in Phoenix. | ||
So, roughly two years? | ||
Yeah. | ||
A special will come out. | ||
Yeah, because it all times out about the same. | ||
So, two years. | ||
And I think that's good, and I don't think you should... | ||
That's a lot. | ||
Yeah, it's a lot. | ||
And doing it more than that, I think, is too much. | ||
And then, you know... | ||
I did three two years in a row. | ||
I did 2014, 16, and 18. Yeah, I think that's the one. | ||
And then I was gonna do 20, but then the pandemic hit, and I really didn't do stand-up for quite a while, and then I realized that when I started doing stand-up again, Having a little bit more time with the material really made it tighten up more. | ||
I feel like everything is way tighter now. | ||
This set, it's also working in Texas, because we've been doing these regular sets at Vulcan, Vulcan Gas Company, and Creek in the Cave. | ||
So I'm headlining all the time, so I'm doing an hour. | ||
So instead of doing 15-minute sets, I'm doing all this material, so it's very tight, and I've just been doing it a lot over and over again. | ||
And then I've been touring on the weekends, so I've been doing arenas and theaters and comedy clubs, like all these different kinds of venues on purpose, like different size venues. | ||
And I feel like more times better. | ||
I feel like this is like the tightest one I've ever had. | ||
And it's got the most laughs of any special that I've ever had. | ||
And I feel like four years, which is what it will be when this one comes out, I'm like, that is even better. | ||
It's even better than two. | ||
You get to be with it a lot more. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you get to, like, have much more material, too, right? | ||
So I have, like, a whole extra hour. | ||
So I have this hour, and then I have, you know, the B-side stuff that I can, like, build up and turn into, like, A-bits. | ||
And so, like, once I abandon this special and put it out, I'll have stuff to work with. | ||
Yeah, I'm a big, I believe the road is, I think you write more on the road. | ||
Because when you have more time on stage, you can, you're just not as like, you know, like doing sets and doing spots are like, that's how you get stuff tight. | ||
And that's what you need at the beginning is to learn how to be tight. | ||
But, you know, if you go do, when you go back to New York, you do 10 minute spots and you're like, well, I feel like I got a murder. | ||
Like, you can't, like, sit for a second. | ||
Right. | ||
And when you've got a long time, I can sit, because I know the next thing's going to be work. | ||
Right. | ||
And then you can, so you can really, like, be like, let me just see if I can mess around with this a little bit here. | ||
Because there's not as much pressure as, like, you know, you mess with one bit, and then your bits just get longer. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And when you start doing, I've noticed from going to clubs to theaters, like, when I first started headlining at clubs, it was, I mean, doing 45 minutes was tough. | ||
I would get tired. | ||
I remember just... | ||
Talking that long like you're like I've never You're just like how do people even do you hit 35 minutes and you're like I'm out of everything I've done every closer I've ever come up with and so now you're just trying to get out of the set and then the longer you do it then you start getting in theaters and I'm not a big I don't move around a lot like all this but like you do you just like everything just expands Because there's more people, there's more... | ||
It's just a different... | ||
It's pretty wild. | ||
It's a pretty different thing. | ||
And it's fun to learn it. | ||
It's fun to get to do it. | ||
Some guys get stuck in that city mentality and they keep doing those 15-minute sets. | ||
And those 15-minute sets or 10-minute sets are great, but if you want a headline, it's not the same. | ||
It's not like you just don't string 10 of those sets together. | ||
You really have to develop an actual hour. | ||
If you're going to do an hour, you can't just take four 15-minute sets. | ||
You really want it to flow. | ||
And the only way to get the sense of the right way to do it is to do that hour. | ||
And I think that fucks guys when they only do the city, and then they try to go on the road and headline, and you see them in their fucking hotel room in a panic with stacks of notes, trying to piece their act together. | ||
It's a show. | ||
I love making stuff really go into the next thing. | ||
That's how you remember your act, is you're like, well, the only thing that could come after this is this. | ||
I'm talking about my kid, then I'm talking about my wife. | ||
Well, they go together, and so you put them together, and then you put all this stuff together. | ||
And that's the aspect of creating a show. | ||
If you see young comics or even young entertainers, that's why it's like, do an act. | ||
You've got to create, even in a five minute thing, at least have a system that you're like, I'm starting with this, I'm going to close with this, and I'm going to try to make them You know, make it seem like I'm not going in between each thing. | ||
Unless you're one of those non-sequitur guys. | ||
I've always felt like those guys have the hardest job. | ||
Like the Mitch Hedberg types or the Stephen Wright types. | ||
Those guys who just do, here's another joke, here's another joke. | ||
Like William Montgomery does that. | ||
He's just like, here's a joke, here's another joke. | ||
It's like, whew, how do you remember all that? | ||
That I don't know. | ||
That's a lot. | ||
I mean, it's just because it's, you know, if you talk about yourself and it's personal, you're like, well, at least it's your opinion. | ||
It's your point of view. | ||
So I think then it makes everything, everything becomes funny because it's your point of view. | ||
So if I'm watching you, I'm buying into you. | ||
So I want you to go to the grocery store, and I want to see what Joe Rogan does at the grocery store. | ||
And so there's a lot more opportunity for that, and that would make me nervous with those guys. | ||
That's why it is amazing to be able to write these jokes, to be actual joke writers, which is, you know, how stand-up was. | ||
It's how stand-up started, just this joke writing. | ||
To be able to do that and just crank out these jokes, it's unreal. | ||
I love the fact there's so many different styles, too. | ||
I really do love the fact that there are these, like, absurdist, non-sequitur guys, and then there's other guys like you. | ||
You tell, like, stories. | ||
You tell, like, long stories, and people get sucked into your rhythm. | ||
It was very fun watching you last night going on After Tony, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So Tony's on stage last night for everybody who wasn't there and Jamie and some lady starts fucking screaming at him. | ||
She starts screaming at him, some like super lefty liberal lady calling him a sexist and Tony says, how am I a sexist? | ||
I'm literally the most feminine man you'll meet all night. | ||
And he starts going into all the different bits where he makes fun of himself. | ||
He's like, I already said this about myself. | ||
He goes, I mock my own masculinity, and you're telling me I'm a sexist? | ||
It was very funny. | ||
She was on Hinge, though. | ||
Yeah, she left. | ||
So it was all this craziness. | ||
Well, he has a bit about the C word, so it was that bit that set her off. | ||
That was like, that's it! | ||
And she fucking blew a fuse. | ||
And then you went on afterwards, no curse words, Like, you just took control of the room and started telling your stories, and it was great, man. | ||
It was really fun to watch. | ||
It was really fun to watch the transition, and your fucking timing was so good, dude. | ||
Oh, thank you. | ||
It was really fun. | ||
I just love when I... You know, I haven't seen you in a while, and it's great to be able to watch, like, a comic... | ||
Just that, you know, you're clearly, like, super tight. | ||
You've been on the road. | ||
It's real obvious. | ||
Like, everything is nice and polished. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's really fun to watch you shift the gears of the room, too. | ||
That was a good... | ||
That's why, like, New York was great. | ||
Because it's like you learned how to do that. | ||
Well, you have to. | ||
You have to. | ||
Because you're following who knows what. | ||
Who knows what. | ||
And it's... | ||
You're going to murder. | ||
You're following Greer Barnes and Ben Bailey. | ||
I remember them. | ||
They were Will Savents. | ||
They would murder. | ||
And then you'd have to go up behind them. | ||
And then I had this rhythm and I talked slower and all this. | ||
So you had to learn very quickly how do I get you to come to me? | ||
Because I can't match energy. | ||
That's a big one. | ||
That's always the one that I... I don't ever... | ||
People always say, like, what advice would you give yourself? | ||
Like, I'm not a big... | ||
You're like, I learned everything because of all the stuff that I failed. | ||
But if you just remind yourself, like, just do you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And just get into your rhythm. | ||
You can't match what other people do. | ||
It makes you tighten your stuff up, though. | ||
It does make you put, like... | ||
You have to edit things well. | ||
Like when you're going on after killers and you have to establish that you know what you're doing, like the audience has to get some confidence in you. | ||
If you're following some- the worst people to follow are- they don't really have them anymore, they're kind of rare now, but music acts. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You ever follow a music act? | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
So what I mean by music act, I don't mean like musician folks for folks at home. | ||
I mean like a comedy music guy who sings comedy songs and they usually suck. | ||
But they usually have something to do with getting your dick sucked or shitting your pants. | ||
They come, this sounds amazing. | ||
You're like, that sounds unbelievable. | ||
Where's this guy playing? | ||
I want to hear about shitting your pants. | ||
But yeah, they would fucking kill, and they had music. | ||
unidentified
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So they're like, I shit my pants! | |
And then you're on afterwards. | ||
So I took my daughter to the park the other day. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, it's such a weird... | |
And you have to, like, it has to be, the stuff that you say first has to somehow or another establish who you are. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you have to, like, get them. | ||
And how quick. | ||
You gotta get them quick. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They have to be interested in you. | ||
You gotta learn, uh, the thing I learned in New York is, like, you gotta make them laugh as quick as you can. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And so it's like, what can I do to get you in my rhythm? | ||
And what's the quickest laugh I can get to? | ||
So you can kind of reset the tone. | ||
Because if you follow something, an act like that, or someone that murders or something, it might take a couple jokes, even if they're good jokes, just to reset the room and then be like, alright, now I got you. | ||
Because you only have 10 minutes. | ||
You only have 15 minutes. | ||
So it's tough. | ||
That was the store, too. | ||
That was the big thing about the store. | ||
It's like you're going on after a re-act. | ||
You'll follow Sebastian. | ||
There's all these killers. | ||
Louis C.K. stops in. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
On any night, you're following just assassins. | ||
I remember I was doing a Tonight Show, and I was going to go run it at Gotham in New York. | ||
And this was when Louis was hosting SNL. And so I was going to get a go up first, and then Louis came in to run his SNL set that he was going to do on SNL, and I had to follow that. | ||
Which ended up being fine, but that set that he did was unbelievable. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And he went on, and I mean, just a murder. | ||
And then it's Louis C.K., and he's holding it. | ||
Now, I mean, it's everything. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then it's like, here comes the neighbor who gets to do a tonight show, and everybody's like, whatever. | ||
You know, it's like, fine. | ||
And you're just up there trying to do your dumb. | ||
You know, because you feel like you're like, I'm trying to get into it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I learned you would say... | ||
So you have to learn stuff like I learned then like that you just I would walk up like I obviously the show is peaked and like it's enough to get a laugh Right to set you know to be like yeah yeah we get what we all just saw right let me just try to get back into and then just do your act When I was living in LA in the 90s, I had to follow Richard Pryor five weeks in a row, five or six weeks in a row, and it was when Richard Pryor was dying. | ||
It might have been the 2000s by then. | ||
But either way, he was very sick. | ||
And he was in a wheelchair. | ||
And so they would carry him to the stage. | ||
So it's essentially like Marilyn Martinez, his husband, and Chewy. | ||
Chewy was the door guy. | ||
They would walk him. | ||
All the way to the stage, like kind of like support his body weight all the way to the stage and then get him to a seat. | ||
And his voice was so feeble that they had to crank the sound up really loud. | ||
unidentified
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And he'd be like... | |
I always loved pussy. | ||
And he had like a drink with him, but it was, you know, he was just trying to... | ||
And then you gotta go up after him and it's like a whole thing to get him back off stage. | ||
So it's not like you get to go right up. | ||
You're like, it's gonna be about 10 minutes before we get him down. | ||
Well, not only that, but at the store, we would do it like we did at the Vulcan. | ||
We'd tag team. | ||
I would bring up the next guy. | ||
He'd bring you up? | ||
He didn't. | ||
Oh. | ||
The piano man brought me up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because they have to carry him out of there. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
So they would come back on stage and grab Richard Pryor, and then the piano man would be like, who was Jeff Scott, rest in peace, and he would go... | ||
Richard Pryor, ladies and gentlemen, and now, please welcome Joe Rogan! | ||
I'm pretty sure it was in the 90s, because I remember I was in my 20s, and I was just like, what am I doing following Richard Pryor? | ||
Yeah, that's wild. | ||
Well, to be able to see that's pretty crazy, that you crossed paths enough To get to see... | ||
I mean, to see him. | ||
Even at that stage. | ||
Well, it was a full circle for me because the first time I ever really saw a stand-up was... | ||
I was 15 years old and my parents took me to see Live at the Sunsets trip. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
I'll never forget. | ||
I was in the movie theater watching these people flop around in their seats, laughing so hard. | ||
They couldn't even sit still. | ||
They were just falling down and... | ||
And I remember looking around the theater going, I can't believe how funny this is. | ||
This is so funny, and all he's doing is talking. | ||
Because I thought about, like, Stripes, which was this amazing, funny movie. | ||
I'm like, but it wasn't this funny. | ||
Like, this guy's so funny, and he's just talking. | ||
Like, it's incredible. | ||
Just words. | ||
And that had, like, a permanent effect on me. | ||
I mean, I didn't think back then, oh, I want to be a comedian. | ||
Because that was when I was doing martial arts, and that's all I thought about. | ||
But... | ||
I couldn't imagine how funny it was. | ||
I was like, this is incredible. | ||
I've never seen anything like that. | ||
Because the only comedy I'd ever seen other than that was like The Tonight Show. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'd see like, you know, Richard Jenny do a set on The Tonight Show. | ||
I used to love watching like the comedians on The Tonight Show. | ||
And then like Evening at the Improv, I used to love that. | ||
But I just couldn't believe how funny he was. | ||
He was like blown away. | ||
Like I thought about it for months. | ||
Well, being in that room and seeing that where, like you said, people are just losing it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's pretty special. | ||
I mean, it's crazy because it is crazy to think with stand-up. | ||
It's just talking. | ||
It's straight up just your words. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I always find it very interesting to even when you get your act, you know when they're going to laugh. | ||
Because laughing, it's hard to make someone laugh, and then sometimes you're like, I know about here. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're gonna laugh. | ||
When I say live on the Sun Says Trip, I don't mean actually being on the Sun Says Trip. | ||
Just that hour. | ||
The movie. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It was a movie that was in the movie theaters. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Yeah, so I was in a movie theater. | ||
Oh, that's even crazier. | ||
Well, it was crazy. | ||
But it was also, it's one of the best ways to see a comedy special, because it's like you're in the crowd. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's like you're hearing everybody else laugh, too. | ||
There's a contagiousness to it. | ||
But no, I was in Boston. | ||
I wasn't on the Sunset Strip. | ||
That would be an interesting way to do specials. | ||
Well, that's how some people, like Gabriel Iglesias, Gabriel, he released a special in the movies. | ||
And then I think Kevin Hart did too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But that's all recently. | ||
Most people recently have not been releasing specials. | ||
It's almost like that would be a good way to do it. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
Because there's a crowd there. | ||
You know, because there's a crowd. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, they're usually, they're not super long. | ||
It's like, it would be a, yeah. | ||
I think I would enjoy watching a special. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It'd be the exact, it'd be the best experience you could have. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, maybe that's the next evolution of stand-up. | ||
Like, you sell tickets. | ||
Or streaming. | ||
You know, like, that way. | ||
Where, you know, you'll go to a place and people will all watch it together. | ||
Because, like, watching a stand-up special at home is great, but it's not as good as, like, watching it with a lot of people around. | ||
Comedy is a weird thing, right? | ||
Like, I can enjoy music by myself, but... | ||
Going to see a comic with other people is way better than just going by yourself. | ||
That's what you're selling in an event. | ||
It's being out. | ||
It's also, there's a weird thing that happens when people get in a room together. | ||
It happens with music, too, when you're sharing an experience. | ||
And it makes it better because there's all these other people that are sharing it with you. | ||
And comedy is the best for that. | ||
Because when other people are laughing, you smile too. | ||
It's like, this is fucking funny. | ||
Oh my god! | ||
I'll never forget, we were doing a show once, and someone was on stage killing. | ||
And this lady, I wasn't up yet. | ||
I was just sitting on the side of the stage, or the back of the stage, by the store at the back of the room. | ||
And this lady just looks at me, and she's like, Oh my god, this is so funny. | ||
Just looking around for people to laugh with. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I was like, look at her. | ||
She's like, everybody's just joining in. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like people are looking at each other at the other day. | ||
It was like, ah! | ||
And seeing people laugh like, oh! | ||
It adds to it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It makes it, it's a communal experience. | ||
I agree. | ||
I think it's, uh... | ||
It'd be very interesting to do stuff like that. | ||
That's why going to live shows are so great, because you're just next to each other. | ||
It is. | ||
You start laughing. | ||
That's like when you show someone's stand-up. | ||
I was telling you before, with Attell, two guys on my bus had never heard. | ||
They're not comics. | ||
They never heard Skanks for the Memories. | ||
So I played it for them and getting to watch them watch it. | ||
A, you get to go back through it and catch all the little stuff that I forgot or I didn't catch. | ||
But then also getting to watch them watch it. | ||
Which is the most fun. | ||
Just seeing someone laugh, people like that. | ||
People like sharing joy. | ||
That they want to go, I want to just see you laugh at this. | ||
That makes me laugh even more, because then I'm happy. | ||
And it's a beautiful thing. | ||
Especially when they're laughing for the first time and never heard the jokes. | ||
So even though you know the jokes are coming, you get to laugh extra because they're laughing with it. | ||
And you're like, you're not even to the part yet. | ||
Right. | ||
And you're watching them lose it and you're like, you don't even know what's about to come. | ||
Well, that was a tell back when he was doing Insomniac. | ||
So he was touring around the country and getting hammered every night. | ||
That was a wild, different a tell. | ||
I saw that a tell at the beginning. | ||
When I first moved to New York. | ||
What year did you start? | ||
I started in 2003, but then I moved to New York in 2004. And so you moved to New York like one year after you started. | ||
Where'd you start? | ||
Chicago. | ||
I moved to Chicago. | ||
I took a comedy class. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Where at? | ||
In Chicago. | ||
Comedy College. | ||
Jim Roth. | ||
I still talk to that guy. | ||
Comedy College? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm not against classes. | ||
A lot of comics are... | ||
Because it's just... | ||
I didn't know what to do. | ||
You don't know what to do. | ||
It's like they're not teaching you... | ||
It had to be jokes, but you're like, you're so nervous, you're scared. | ||
I moved to a different city, I didn't know anybody, so it was nice to just go do it. | ||
What made you move there? | ||
I had a buddy that wanted to go to Second City, and he wanted to do improv. | ||
Oh, just for, and you moved from? | ||
Nashville. | ||
So straight from Nashville, right to Chicago, and you were only there a year before you moved to New York. | ||
I did comedy about a year. | ||
We ended up living there two years, but I only did comedy about a year and a half there. | ||
But Pete Holmes was there, Kumail Nanjiani, Hannibal, Jared Logan, Nick Vatterot. | ||
It was TJ Miller. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
We were all brand new. | ||
And then Pete moved to New York, and then I moved right after Pete. | ||
I did, I barked with Pete. | ||
His show... | ||
Explain barking to people. | ||
Oh, like standing out, standing on a corner and just handing out flyers. | ||
So you're just like, hey, we got a great comedy show tonight. | ||
And you're just sitting out there, and you hand someone a flyer, and then they drop it on the ground in front of you. | ||
That's what barking is. | ||
You just basically, do you mind throwing this on the ground? | ||
And they go, yeah, I'll do it. | ||
That's the thing that really only goes down in New York. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Now it's like a business. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
I think now they start hiring people. | ||
But when I did it, we did it for Boston Comedy Club and my buddy Dustin Chafin. | ||
Happy birthday, Dustin. | ||
Happy birthday to you. | ||
Thank you. | ||
They both have birthdays today. | ||
Boston was open in 2004? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Still? | ||
It was right. | ||
I was there. | ||
I was at the very end of it. | ||
I got in. | ||
I would see Chappelle there every night. | ||
Chappelle's on the Chappelle show. | ||
It was right before Chappelle left when he... | ||
When I was walkabout. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because he would come... | ||
I mean, I saw Burr, Patrice, like, that's where I saw all those guys, and I went to their HBO One Night Stand tapings, and you saw them run sets, and you saw them, like, you know, everybody kind of come up. | ||
Louis was probably the biggest, like, but still wasn't insanely Louis yet, but was, like, the one. | ||
Burr was, like, the one that you're watching, and he's, like, the first guy that you're, like, I can't, like, you know, we'd go watch him at Carolinas, and no one was there. | ||
No one's there, but it's half full. | ||
They only kind of know them from ONA or something. | ||
And then the next year is when it's HBO thing. | ||
And then you're like, it's sold out. | ||
And Caroline's like, you couldn't even... | ||
They were like, you can't come watch. | ||
And you're like, we were watching last. | ||
And they're like, yeah, well, everybody could come watch last year. | ||
Now you can't. | ||
It's too full. | ||
And it'd be too crowded. | ||
And so he was watching him just... | ||
Blow up? | ||
That's a very fortunate thing that we have, and it's really good for young comics to watch someone blow up. | ||
Because then, if it ever does happen to you, you kind of understand what happens. | ||
Like, the process of it all. | ||
You get to see what it's like when someone You just see it's possible. | ||
Yeah, you see it's possible. | ||
Because you're like, that dude was just here. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
And now he's not. | ||
Because we always tend to think about people as being in like a static state. | ||
Like if you run into Chris Rock, you assume he's always been Chris Rock. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But if you knew Chris Rock when he was just starting out, like you'd go, oh, this is the process. | ||
This is possible for everybody. | ||
I just saw a clip today with Chris talking about New Jack City, saying that when him and Ice-T were reading lines at the table, and they didn't have, I guess, a star, and it was for Wesley Snipes, and then they got Wesley Snipes, and Wesley Snipes wasn't, like, they didn't know who he was. | ||
He wasn't famous. | ||
But then once Wesley Snipes started reading the line, they were like, oh, this movie's going to be, like, real. | ||
It's going to be huge. | ||
And he wasn't huge, but they could tell... | ||
That, like, oh, this dude's, like, different. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, and that was, like, you know, and that's Chris Rock and Ice-T, who are, you know, are not Chris Rock and Ice-T. And then you're, and they're even, like, oh, that's, they're just dudes reading at a table. | ||
And then they see Wesley Snipes, they're like, oh, man, this movie's about to be huge. | ||
Oh, he's a bad motherfucker. | ||
Wesley Snipes could act his ass off. | ||
He had power, you know? | ||
He was great as Blade. | ||
I really wish they would bring Blade back. | ||
I know they're bringing it back with a new actor, but goddammit, Wesley Snipes was good. | ||
Wesley Snipes is great action. | ||
He was a good blade. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Very fun. | ||
Apparently, though, he went off the rails. | ||
He went a little nutty. | ||
Because Patton Oswalt has a whole bit about doing Blade 3 with Wesley Snipes. | ||
Leslie Snipes is allegedly imbibing in certain controlled substances whilst in his trailer. | ||
It just was like, he's out of control and fucked up the whole taping of it. | ||
Patton has a whole bit, a whole chunk that he did on filming Blade 3. Yeah. | ||
If you met Wesley Snipes, it would be. | ||
It'd be wild. | ||
Like, to be around him and just... | ||
Because those guys are so famous. | ||
I was supposed to fight him. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wesley Snipes was about to go to jail for taxes. | ||
And they were trying to figure out a way to make money. | ||
And they came to this guy, Campbell McLaren, who was one of the original producers of the UFC. And they wanted Wesley Snipes to fight Jean-Claude Van Damme. | ||
This was their idea. | ||
To have, like, a fight. | ||
An actual fight. | ||
How old are they at this point? | ||
Wesley's older than me. | ||
I was in my 30s at the time, so I gotta assume he was in... | ||
I was probably 35, so I gotta assume he was in his late 30s or early 40s. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, he's still fit, but about to go to jail. | ||
You know, like, he needed money. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And we were supposed to have a UFC fight. | ||
I trained for it for, like, six months. | ||
It was crazy. | ||
You were real fighting? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because wait, John Vaughn, he didn't want to do it. | ||
They didn't want John Kline Van Damme. | ||
That would have been amazing. | ||
Like an MMA fight? | ||
Yeah, it was going to be an MMA fight. | ||
And he's a big MMA. I don't know. | ||
He's really good at karate. | ||
I don't know. | ||
The thing is, I don't think he had ever competed before. | ||
I hadn't competed in more than 10 years, but I did have three kickboxing fights and I had like 100 Taekwondo fights. | ||
I fought a lot. | ||
I know how to compete. | ||
And so I know I would have been super nervous, but he doesn't know Jiu Jitsu. | ||
Or what he knows. | ||
At the time, I don't know if I was a black belt yet. | ||
No, I don't think I was. | ||
I was a brown belt. | ||
But I was like, I'm going to strangle this dude. | ||
Yeah, because you were younger and you're so much closer to all the competing and all this kind of stuff. | ||
And then he's fighting from... | ||
It's a lot of things. | ||
It's the fact that I'd competed, the fact that I was pretty good at striking. | ||
And it was also like, if I got a hold of him, if I grab him, he's dead. | ||
I was like, if a brown belt in jiu-jitsu who's really strong gets a hold of you and you're the same size as him, he's actually a little smaller than me. | ||
So if I got a hold of him, he would have been fucked. | ||
Dude, that would have been unreal. | ||
It would have been wild. | ||
Unless he knocked me out, that would have sucked. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Who would get knocked out by Blade? | ||
unidentified
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At least it's Blade. | |
I mean, what were they going to do, like pay-per-view and it just didn't happen? | ||
You know, like CM Punk fought in the UFC a couple of times. | ||
It would have been one of those deals. | ||
Oh, y'all had done it at the UFC? Yeah. | ||
Like, wow, dude. | ||
Yeah, the UFC was on board. | ||
Lawyers involved. | ||
We went through a whole series of things. | ||
First, it was supposed to be 50-50, like 50-50 split. | ||
And I said, fine. | ||
And then he changed it again and said, I don't remember what his stipulation was. | ||
He wanted 60-40. | ||
And I said, I don't, and like the lawyers are like, you know, should we push back this and that? | ||
Like, what do you want to do? | ||
I go, I'm going to fucking strangle this guy, so give him the money. | ||
He's going to need the money. | ||
I go, it doesn't matter. | ||
It's not that much money, whatever it is, you know, like the difference, whatever the difference was. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I was training twice a day, every day. | ||
I was kickboxing with Rob Kamen. | ||
So I'd go in with Rob Kamen in the mornings, who was a legendary Holland kickboxer, and I would train with him, and he was taking me through his striking system, and I was sparring and kickboxing. | ||
And then after I did that, I would go to jiu-jitsu at night. | ||
I was fucking exhausted all the time. | ||
I couldn't believe how tired I was all the time. | ||
I was just so tired. | ||
How close did it get before they pulled it? | ||
Pretty fucking close. | ||
Pretty close. | ||
Like, we were trying to figure out when it would happen. | ||
Like, would it be December? | ||
Would it be November? | ||
Like, what it was? | ||
And so I was just constantly training, just trying to get in shape. | ||
I'm like, I'm gonna get ahead of this. | ||
It got down to... | ||
I forget what the final fucking straw that broke the camel's back was when he backed out. | ||
But I gave him everything he asked for. | ||
Every time they tried to change things, I said, okay. | ||
I said, I'm gonna strangle him. | ||
I go, give him what he wants. | ||
I just don't want to lose him. | ||
I'm like, if he wants to do this... | ||
I was so obsessed. | ||
And then once it was over, I was like, I'm glad I didn't do that. | ||
Because then I would have had another fight. | ||
Like, what if I had that fight and it went well, and then, you know, someone else wants a fight, and then I'm doing the Jake Paul thing? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That shit will consume you. | ||
Because fighting is not something, first of all, it's not something you're going to do great Your first fight back, because I would have fought and I would have said, ah, my timing was off. | ||
I felt like I got a little too nervous. | ||
The more active you are if you're competing, the more you get comfortable with competing, so the more it feels like a normal thing. | ||
Daniel Cormier was actually just talking about that in one of the past UFCs about a guy that had taken two years off because he had a significant injury and there was a bunch of other shit that happened. | ||
And he's like, that is so hard to do. | ||
He goes, when you fight a lot, he's like, you go in there, it's just like a normal thing you do. | ||
You're in there, you're fighting, normal. | ||
I fought two months ago, it's normal. | ||
You just go through your camp, and you're in there. | ||
But for me, I mean, it would have been like over 10 years. | ||
So I would have probably been like a little sketchy, like a little like, whew, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
Like, why am I doing this? | ||
But then once you do it, then you get the experience, and you go, you know what? | ||
I was a little nervous doing that. | ||
Let me do that again. | ||
And then I don't think I showed my full potential. | ||
Let me do that again. | ||
And I would have probably said like, look, I'm in my 30s. | ||
I was probably 35, 36. I was like, I only got like a couple years left where I could physically do this and compete with... | ||
You know, legit martial artist. | ||
Like, give me, like, a couple more fights. | ||
And then I would have probably tried to fight some other celebrity slash big mouth character. | ||
And then I would have been... | ||
Who knows what I would have... | ||
I probably would have got brain damage more. | ||
Yeah, I mean, you might not be here. | ||
You'd be just... | ||
He'd be talking to you now and you'd be like, hey Joe, you alright buddy? | ||
Fine, fine. | ||
He's just fighting random people. | ||
That's wild. | ||
I could see that if you don't fight for two years. | ||
I mean, that's what we're talking about with comedy. | ||
When you don't go up and you're not being funny and regularly being funny, then you lose that. | ||
What's the most time you've ever taken off? | ||
I don't even know. | ||
It should be like COVID. That should have been the answer. | ||
I took off that whole... | ||
But even... | ||
It had to be a month or two. | ||
That's all you took off during COVID? No, I guess more. | ||
I should say more. | ||
I don't believe in COVID, so I never took any time off. | ||
That's the most comedy I've ever done. | ||
My biggest years are 2020. The most sets I've ever done. | ||
There's plenty of open stages. | ||
It was wide open, dude. | ||
I was trying to get off. | ||
No one was lying to me. | ||
unidentified
|
No one was there. | |
No, during COVID, that was definitely the most time I took off, whatever it was, I guess a few months, I don't know exactly. | ||
And then stuff would, you'd have like an outdoor thing, and then I did the drive-in tour. | ||
So we had that set up pretty quickly, and then I went and did those. | ||
And then so I was doing three, four cities a night, and my special I taped outside, and So it's like you just adjusted to... | ||
I never did drive-in shows. | ||
Did you like those? | ||
Burt loved them. | ||
I loved them. | ||
It was, do you want to go do them? | ||
I don't want to go do them all the time. | ||
Right. | ||
You wouldn't want to do it now. | ||
No, no. | ||
I'm doing amphitheaters right now. | ||
Some of them are great. | ||
Some of them are great. | ||
So far they've been awesome. | ||
I heard Red Rocks is the shit. | ||
Burr loved it. | ||
Burr loved it. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Red Rocks, I think. | ||
Burr just filmed a special there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Red Rocks is legendary. | ||
Like, and then, but then some of these, like, I'm going to Wisconsin Dells. | ||
I'm leaving tonight at midnight to just start driving there on the bus. | ||
And then I'll do that Saturday. | ||
And then, so I like the outdoors because you can hear them. | ||
It's just going to do different things. | ||
Right. | ||
Like, the drive-in theaters was like, all right, well, if I'm going, I might as well just go see what it is. | ||
I want to, you know, you want to see your act kind of go through everything. | ||
And they're like, I'll go talk to these cars. | ||
And then you got to learn the timing of that. | ||
Chicago, we did one. | ||
And it was one of the... | ||
More memorable shows I think I'll ever have in my career. | ||
It was like starting to rain. | ||
It was like 45 degrees out. | ||
It was kind of chilly. | ||
I mean, there was 2,000 people there. | ||
So it's just car after car. | ||
And then they would laugh. | ||
And so they couldn't sit outside. | ||
People up front would sit outside, but then you can't. | ||
So they would like flash their lights and kind of honk for laughs. | ||
And they did it in a very, the timing was great. | ||
Like you're like, oh, I just got to now, instead of hearing laughs, I'm just kind of going off the honks. | ||
And so then you're like, you kind of pause, and then some lights flash, and then You gotta just trust that you know how to do it. | ||
Yeah, I never did those, but I took a long time off. | ||
I went from March, when everything shut down, to July. | ||
And then Texas was still doing shows, like in comedy clubs, indoors. | ||
And I was like, that is crazy. | ||
And I remember me and Tony talking, and I'm like, do you want to try it for a weekend? | ||
Apparently they said, well, we have limited seating and we socially distance everyone. | ||
Horseshit. | ||
We got there, it was packed. | ||
The improv was fucking packed. | ||
We got out there, I go, how the fuck are they socially distanced? | ||
This is not socially distanced. | ||
People had their masks under their noses. | ||
It was ridiculous. | ||
And I did one weekend, and it was so much fun, but then I got really high, and I thought, what if I got COVID and gave it to one of my guests? | ||
And even though I was testing, Every day. | ||
We were testing really early on. | ||
I was like, but what if? | ||
What if? | ||
It's not worth it. | ||
What if someone got really sick? | ||
What if someone died? | ||
I started thinking about that. | ||
I was like, okay, I have to be more responsible. | ||
And so then I waited. | ||
And then we started doing outdoor shows. | ||
Chappelle and I started doing outdoor shows in Austin. | ||
He said, we got this place. | ||
Let's do stubs. | ||
We could do it outside. | ||
We'll screen the entire crowd. | ||
And we definitely tested people positive. | ||
There was quite a few people that got kicked out of the show. | ||
Because there would be this long line outside. | ||
They would test you. | ||
You have to wait 15 minutes. | ||
And the positive people that got sent home, you know. | ||
Maybe a half dozen or so during the course of all of our shows, but for the most part, people, you know, you know if you're sick, you know if you're not feeling good, and most people are responsible, and it was all outside anyway, and there's no outside transmission, really, and so we had these fucking amazing shows, and it felt so special that we were doing shows outside during the pandemic, And you know, it's Donnell Rawlings, it's me, Mo Ammer, Michelle Wolf. | ||
I mean, these were great fucking shows. | ||
Yeah, I went to one. | ||
Ron White was there. | ||
Yeah, Ron did some shows with me. | ||
So, then, you know, we were getting into that. | ||
Like, it was like, wow, we're doing stand-up again. | ||
If we have to do it just this way again, that's fine. | ||
But then one night we did the Vulcan. | ||
One night we did the Vulcan, and we did it on, I think it was a Thursday night. | ||
I think it was Red Band's night. | ||
Or maybe it was Tony Hinchcliffe's night. | ||
I don't remember what it was. | ||
But I remember Ron White saying that, well, I'm basically going to retire. | ||
Man, I think I've done enough. | ||
You know, I'm gonna sell my jet. | ||
I'm gonna fucking kick back and just play golf. | ||
And I'm not doing stand-up anymore. | ||
And then, you know, we said, we've got a show on Thursday night. | ||
You want to go do a set? | ||
unidentified
|
He's like, well, maybe I'll do one fucking set. | |
He goes on stage. | ||
Apparently, he took it very seriously. | ||
He had an iPad and was listening to old sets and going over his notes all day long. | ||
He goes on stage and fucking murders. | ||
I mean murders. | ||
Murders. | ||
And then I'm up after him and he comes off stage and he grabs him by my shoulders and he goes, whatever we gotta do, we're fucking doing this again. | ||
Whatever we gotta do. | ||
Like he was just... | ||
He was just electric, man. | ||
I mean, he felt that juice again. | ||
And when he went on stage, they went fucking apeshit. | ||
Like he's a legend everywhere, but he lives in Austin. | ||
You know, and so when he goes on stage in Austin, he's like... | ||
Yeah, once you went back to the indoors, it was impossible. | ||
Yeah, you're like, this is what it's about. | ||
And also, indoors in a club. | ||
Amphitheater's great, outside's great, Stubbs is amazing, so much fun, but indoors in a club, just 300 people, everybody tied in like, ah! | ||
Madness, and we're all like, are we going to die from this? | ||
Are we going to get sick from this? | ||
This is when I was already doing, like, vitamin infusions and shit, though. | ||
I was holding off all the colds. | ||
I was keeping everything at bay. | ||
I was fucking on top. | ||
I was on point. | ||
I was doing hyperbaric chamber sessions. | ||
I was doing vitamin IVs. | ||
I was pretty fucking healthy. | ||
Just to try to, like, if this shit comes, I gotta be ready. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know? | ||
And then I was hooked. | ||
Once we started doing that, I said, okay, well, I'm just gonna, like, really take care of myself and, you know, just fucking go back to doing shows. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It changed. | ||
Being around people. | ||
It's everything. | ||
It's like going to a restaurant. | ||
Getting people back together. | ||
You saw how much you missed it. | ||
Well, that was one of the things that really sold my kids on Texas. | ||
When we came out here, I was just disillusioned with LA, and I was very confused as to what the fuck they were doing. | ||
And when they wouldn't let people do outside shows, and they wouldn't let restaurants open, they wouldn't even let restaurants serve outside in some places. | ||
It was fucked. | ||
And it was just like, you're seeing these dipshits, like the mayor of LA, that Eric Garcetti guy is a fucking idiot. | ||
You're seeing that guy telling people what to do. | ||
And I was like, this is a disaster. | ||
I gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
But I didn't know what to do. | ||
And I thought about moving to Utah at one point in time. | ||
I was gonna get a mountain house. | ||
I thought about moving to Montana. | ||
I was like, I just gotta get the fuck out of this city. | ||
Like, I don't trust these people. | ||
I don't want to be under their governance. | ||
And then we came to LA with a bunch of friends from California that were thinking about moving to Austin. | ||
And we said, you know, and I was like, you know, I don't know. | ||
I wasn't sure if I wanted to move to Austin, but, like, maybe that's a good place to be. | ||
I always love it here. | ||
And my fucking kids, when they came here, and you know, they were 10 and 12 at the time, and they were like, why doesn't anyone have masks on? | ||
How come it's different here? | ||
Like, we go to a restaurant, we're just sitting in a restaurant, like... | ||
This is like normal. | ||
This is normal. | ||
We went and had barbecue outside, and everyone's friendly. | ||
And then we went to the lake. | ||
And we were on the lake, and the lady who was showing us this house, she's very smart, my friend Bridget. | ||
She's a good friend now. | ||
She took us out on a boat on the lake. | ||
And my kids were like, we were jumping in the water and laughing. | ||
And they're like, I want to live here! | ||
And my wife was like, oh... | ||
And I go, let's buy a fucking house here. | ||
unidentified
|
If you don't like it, we could try it out for a year. | |
And then it became, let's try it out for a year. | ||
And then as soon as we lived here, my kids immediately loved it. | ||
Like they made friends, like normal kids. | ||
Like normal kids that don't want to be fucking reality TV stars. | ||
Well, I think that's the biggest, is to get around regular people. | ||
I've been back in Nashville for seven years, I think, where I'm from, and our daughter, we moved back when she was two, but it's like my family's there, and she goes to school, and she rides the bus. | ||
And your parents live there? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
My parents are there. | ||
My wife's parents are about an hour away. | ||
That's nice. | ||
Everybody's super close, so we see our family often. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Luckily, I'm from Nashville, and Nashville has become an awesome town to move to. | ||
Our daughter goes to school, rides a bus. | ||
It's trying to let her have the most normal existence. | ||
I think it's good for comics, because I'm doing normal things. | ||
It's like you're not thinking about the business the whole time. | ||
Even though you do think about it, but it's not as... | ||
You're like, yeah, I still gotta go run, you know, we go watch her play softball, and then we go do this, and then, you know, and it just makes it, I think it just helps for your material. | ||
A hundred percent. | ||
It also, like, it lets your material be pure, in that it's just really who you are and what you, and I never really had a problem with that, but I know some people who Would be hoping that they would get on a sitcom or hoping they would, you know, get a deal somewhere. | ||
And so they would tone down bits or they would change bits. | ||
They wouldn't do what's the most funny. | ||
They would, like, pull back a little bit because... | ||
And they would say... | ||
You would see them say things, like, on Twitter, like, oh, you have virtue signaling fuck. | ||
I know what you're doing. | ||
They're just trying to signal to Hollywood. | ||
I'm on the right side. | ||
I'm in the tribe. | ||
Here's my black square. | ||
It's Tuesday. | ||
They were doing these things where it was real obvious that they were captured by the idea of being a part of this system. | ||
If I play my cards right, one day I'll be Kevin Hart. | ||
If I play my cards right, one day I'll be Jimmy Fallon. | ||
I'll host a show. | ||
I'll do this. | ||
And so you're kind of captured by this... | ||
The possible promise of money that comes from this weird place, which is Hollywood. | ||
The television and film industry. | ||
Out here is none of that. | ||
And so it's free. | ||
It's just comic. | ||
It's just comedy. | ||
And the actual industry is podcasting, which is the best industry for comics. | ||
It's the best industry for comics to be themselves, and it's also the best industry for comics because you get promoted way more. | ||
If you're a comic and you're in with all the podcasters, you're going on people's podcasts. | ||
I was just on Theo's podcast. | ||
He was on mine. | ||
It was just fun as shit. | ||
Having a great fucking time. | ||
Just laughing our asses off. | ||
And it's like the best promotion for both of us. | ||
Best promotion for him. | ||
Best promotion for me. | ||
It's like everybody's out there doing their thing and everybody benefits from it. | ||
It's not like this you're waiting for someone to give you a gig thing. | ||
You're hoping someone gives you a deal. | ||
No, you're just living life and doing comedy and you're rewarded for doing good comedy. | ||
You're rewarded for doing great sets. | ||
Like people talk about it like, oh man, you should have seen Nate last night. | ||
Holy shit, that's funny. | ||
And people get talking about it on podcasts and it benefits everybody. | ||
It's not like that. | ||
It rewards you for being real as opposed to like, you know, settling into that system. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It makes it, you can be yourself. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So you're completely yourself, which is as a comedian, that's what you are selling, is yourself. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You're going, I am me, this is what I'm doing, and then that's what it is. | ||
Exactly. | ||
I think it's, yeah, it is interesting to, like when I went to, I lived in L.A. for two years, and then it was like going auditions and I just was terrible at them. | ||
I can only talk like this, and I don't know how to not do this. | ||
I remember getting a call back somewhere, and she was like, if you dyed your beard and hair just black, you would look young enough. | ||
And then I go back to the call back, still looking like this. | ||
And I think I was like, oh, you wanted me to do this for the call back. | ||
And I didn't realize that. | ||
And I was like, but what if I don't get it? | ||
Like, I'm not going to dye... | ||
I just dye my... | ||
Walking around with weird black hair. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
And then you're like... | ||
And y'all say no? | ||
Like, I'm just... | ||
The odds are I'm not getting this. | ||
Right. | ||
So I'm not going to go do something that's so crazy just to be like, nah, we're good, dude. | ||
Why can't they imagine you with dark hair? | ||
What are they, stupid? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
Yeah, you're like... | ||
How hard is it to dye your hair? | ||
It takes 10 minutes. | ||
That's where you're... | ||
That's where it's like... | ||
They're looking, I don't know, they're looking for something, it's out of your hands. | ||
Isn't there some stuff that they can just spray, like when girls do like purple hair and they could just rinse it right out? | ||
You can do that. | ||
Yeah, that could have probably been. | ||
I could have probably done that. | ||
I didn't think about any of this at the time. | ||
That shit they do on your face though, I know that guys have put that like, I don't know if it's Just For Men or some other company, they put stuff on their beard and it gives them a chemical burn on their face. | ||
It's fuck guys' faces. | ||
Oh, that's crazy. | ||
Find out what that is. | ||
There's stuff that guys do where they try to get rid of the gray on their beard. | ||
And maybe it's whether you leave it in long or maybe people are allergic to it. | ||
But I went down a rabbit hole once and I saw a bunch of dudes with burned faces. | ||
Well, can't you not, like, if you've already shown your gray, like, if they've already seen it, then it's like... | ||
You can't go back. | ||
Like, yeah, if you, like, tomorrow show up and you just try to be normal, we both have just very black beards, and we're like, hello. | ||
Well, we thought about doing that for Sober October, because, like, all of us are going bald. | ||
Well, I'm fully bald, but, like, Ari's pretty bald, Tom's bald, Bert's going bald. | ||
Like, we should wear wigs. | ||
It's just, like, for the whole month. | ||
The whole month you have to wear, like, a wacky dupee. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Get one glued on. | ||
You have to wear it every... | ||
They make fucking good ones, though. | ||
I know some guys who have toupees and you're like, damn, I can't even tell. | ||
I guess it's called a lace front, where the front, like your hairline, I can see through to your scalp, and that's how it looks in the beginning, and then the rest of it is all filled in. | ||
I don't think I'm a good two-paper. | ||
I don't think I can tell. | ||
Like I'm saying, I fall for it. | ||
Because you have a full head of hair. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, so that's how you know. | ||
Just for men's hair dye, users report allergic reactions. | ||
Yeah, see if you can find some images. | ||
Because there were some gross images of dudes with burns on their face. | ||
Like chemical burns all over their face. | ||
But they might have used some wacky shit. | ||
And that's where you go do that. | ||
Just to go, we're going to pass. | ||
We're not going to take you. | ||
As someone who's dyed their hair before, you are supposed to check your skin to see if you have an allergic reaction before you do everything. | ||
Isn't your face like more? | ||
Such a dude thing, they go, I'll be hard to do. | ||
What is going on with that guy over there? | ||
This one? | ||
The one to the right of that. | ||
Oh, man. | ||
What is happening with him? | ||
Oh, he still has to dye on. | ||
Oh, it goes horrifically wrong. | ||
Okay, let's see. | ||
Oh, he dyed his beard for his girlfriend. | ||
Man's girlfriend dyed his beard. | ||
Oh, boy. | ||
Let's pretend you're 20. Yeah, that's what I saw. | ||
And he's like, is this what you wanted? | ||
unidentified
|
You fucking asshole! | |
Is this what you wanted? | ||
What have you done to my face? | ||
Yeah, what if that shit's permanent? | ||
Dude, that's fucking... | ||
Remember, well, I don't even remember, Brody. | ||
Brody Stevens had his face lasered. | ||
Brody's a hairy motherfucker. | ||
His hair would go like a wolf. | ||
All the way up to his eyeballs. | ||
And so he got his cheeks lasered off and someone burnt a hole in his fucking cheek. | ||
Yeah, it was bad, man. | ||
He was super self-conscious about it. | ||
Brody was already, like, struggling with depression. | ||
He was very upset by it. | ||
The guy, like, he had a hole in his face. | ||
Like, it was like a large divot where this guy had fucking burned a hole in his face, removing his face down. | ||
And he just burns the hair off permanently. | ||
Yeah, it's like girls do it with their coot. | ||
Guys can do it on their back. | ||
I don't have a ton of hair on my back, but it's enough. | ||
I've got a ton of hair on my back. | ||
Do you shave it? | ||
My wife shaves it. | ||
I can't shave it myself, obviously. | ||
There's a thing, supposedly, I've never done it. | ||
You're going to miss a patch. | ||
Yeah, and they just have like a... | ||
You're like, what's that? | ||
You go swimming, and it's just the weirdest. | ||
You go to the beach, it's a fucking weird question mark on your back. | ||
It's worse than having a full back hair. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It's just like this weird... | ||
I don't mind my back hair. | ||
It doesn't bother me at all. | ||
Well, yeah. | ||
I had my wife shave it when we went to, like, once. | ||
It is night. | ||
When you don't have it, you're... | ||
I think about it some, but then you're like, I don't know. | ||
Then you forget about it, and then you're like, where am I with my shirt off? | ||
Like, you're just... | ||
My shirt's not off enough to commit to it. | ||
Right. | ||
It's not like in a situation where I'm, like, super worried about it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, back hair doesn't bother me. | ||
Chest hair doesn't bother me either. | ||
My pubes can get a bit unruly. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But that's where Manscaped comes in. | ||
They've developed a razor specifically for your ball sack. | ||
Yeah, that's good. | ||
Manscaped has what they call the lawnmower. | ||
It's just for your sack. | ||
It's nice. | ||
You have a cigar in you. | ||
Do I? Yeah. | ||
Where is it at? | ||
Well, it's right in the middle now. | ||
Do I get it? | ||
I think so. | ||
We'll find out in a little bit. | ||
I have a tiny little gap there. | ||
I think everybody has a gap. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do they or no? | ||
Yeah, you're good now. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Appreciate it. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Yeah, the gray hair thing is a weird thing. | ||
Because, like, women don't like it at all. | ||
They do not like going gray. | ||
But a guy can go gray, and it makes him look like a man of distinction. | ||
He's got experience. | ||
Well, I think if everybody gradually lets themselves go wherever they want to go. | ||
It's like, if you let everything go, like, I think, I was thinking about it, like... | ||
Sometimes, you see, I just saw a thing of, uh, just cause a movie, someone posted something with Diane Keaton. | ||
She looks unreal. | ||
Like, but I, like it, and she, I mean, she's gotta be 70-something. | ||
Well, let me see a picture of Diane Keaton. | ||
Uh. | ||
Well, look about Keanu Reeves' girlfriend. | ||
Like, she's full gray hair. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, she's full head of gray hair. | ||
Looks great. | ||
You know, I think, like, that looks good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think that looks better to me than than this shit. | ||
Yeah, I don't know. | ||
Yeah, I think whatever if she does something, it's like it makes it look very natural. | ||
She looks like a healthy older woman. | ||
Yes. | ||
Who's lived a long life. | ||
Yeah, that's good. | ||
I like it. | ||
Yeah Dress is very fun. | ||
What does that say about Ellen DeGeneres? | ||
Did Ellen cunt over her? | ||
Oh, she says the set exudes happiness. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
All right. | ||
She was nice to her. | ||
Never mind. | ||
Like I said, let's take it all back. | ||
They let Ellen run it back. | ||
I'll be honest with you, run it back, Ellen. | ||
Yeah, Diane Keaton should come back and pretend she's an assistant. | ||
unidentified
|
Put on a mask and see how it goes. | |
I meet the real Ellen now. | ||
He goes, what's that? | ||
unidentified
|
She gets hit in the back of the head. | |
What was that? | ||
Hey, cunt! | ||
Where's my fucking coffee? | ||
Oh, it's a little different. | ||
Isn't it funny how people found out that she wasn't that person and they freaked? | ||
But they're watching the show. | ||
They let her have a very long, gradual... | ||
That's what I understand. | ||
People got mad, and then it was like, alright, take your time on the way out. | ||
Do a farewell season. | ||
And you're like, oh, I thought y'all hated her. | ||
I thought it was bad. | ||
Well, I think it was probably sometimes bad. | ||
And those sometimes bad moments, when you rack them up over 14 years or whatever the fuck it was she was doing her show, that looks horrible. | ||
She probably had some rough days. | ||
Look, she's a fucking performer. | ||
And also, she grew up a gay woman. | ||
She probably got fucked with and she probably felt discrimination and a lot of shit. | ||
She probably harbored some resentment. | ||
Who knows what her deal was. | ||
Great comedian, too. | ||
Very good comedian. | ||
And also, there's this thing where you kind of get away with it. | ||
Because when you're on a set, you know what it's like. | ||
If you're the star of the show, everybody comes to you with a bagel and coffee and they kiss your ass. | ||
If you're susceptible to that, if you don't self-audit, you can get sucked into that and start thinking, you're that fucking person. | ||
It's wild. | ||
I shot a pilot. | ||
I mean, I even see it sometimes on the road. | ||
But it's like, I shot a pilot and... | ||
It was... | ||
You have, like, people that are just... | ||
They're, like... | ||
It'll be, like... | ||
They bring you... | ||
You want Starbucks. | ||
You can say anything. | ||
Anything. | ||
Anything you want. | ||
Barbecue. | ||
Get me barbecue. | ||
I want a bar... | ||
Yeah. | ||
You want barbecue. | ||
I want... | ||
Whatever you want, you're like, I want to drive a Nissan Sentra today. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And someone will go... | ||
Figure out how to do that. | ||
And if you don't, like you said, if you don't self audit, if you don't realize this is crazy, that's what I was like, you gotta have like, I got a lot, I still talk to like all my high school buddies and stuff like that, but you need people that are going to be regular people. | ||
So you can't, if you're like, hey, do you want to go to Alaska tomorrow? | ||
And you need someone that's like, I got like a job and stuff and like my family and I can't. | ||
You know, that's insane that you're wanting to go do something like that. | ||
You're like, that is insane. | ||
That is insane that I said that. | ||
And I needed to be reminded. | ||
Because you can get a little squirrely because your hours are different and you're just like, what are you doing tomorrow? | ||
You want to go caving? | ||
And they're like, I gotta work, man. | ||
I gotta work, dude. | ||
My daughter has a fucking cheer practice. | ||
Then I got the dentist. | ||
My son's got Little League. | ||
What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
What is your life, dude? | ||
You're going to Alaska? | ||
That is right. | ||
You're going to get eaten by a bear and I'm going to be like... | ||
unidentified
|
Foul ball! | |
And then they're like, do you want to go out to dinner on Saturday night? | ||
Are they like, are you out of your mind? | ||
Saturday night's why I can't work. | ||
It's the only time I can't go. | ||
Would you like to go to lunch at 12 a.m. | ||
on a Wednesday? | ||
And they're like, what? | ||
That's the one thing about comics that you hang out with people that have that wacky schedule. | ||
You get accustomed to that. | ||
You wind up texting your friend at 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
He's like, bro, why the fuck are you texting me? | ||
I'm sleeping. | ||
Oh, and you have no... | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, I'm asleep at 2. Yeah, you're like, who are you, dude? | |
Did you not do a late show? | ||
Yeah, that doesn't make sense. | ||
And you get so used to waking up late, too. | ||
If I texted a comic at 10 and they were like, oh, I fell asleep, I would be like, so you quit comedy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I guess that's your way of telling me. | ||
Because how are you? | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is a sadness when people quit comedy. | ||
You know, when someone's good and they quit comedy, I get bummed out, man. | ||
I really do. | ||
Who quit? | ||
I don't want to name names, but we're quite a few friends who were pretty good. | ||
Guys who were opening acts for me, who I felt like had some potential, and they just, you know, for whatever reason. | ||
And a lot of times they get sucked into the business. | ||
They want to be on writers. | ||
And there's a good living in being a writer, so, you know, you'll be getting those steady paychecks. | ||
There's a few guys that I think literally are some of the best comics in the world. | ||
Owen Smith. | ||
You know Owen Smith from L.A.? That motherfucker is one of the best comics on earth. | ||
He is so funny and so polished and so likable. | ||
He's such a nice guy and so smart. | ||
And I'm always blown away that that guy is not headlining arenas. | ||
Owen Smith should be headlining arenas all over the world. | ||
He's a fucking assassin. | ||
But he's a showrunner. | ||
He's doing these things. | ||
But he knows. | ||
Which is a crazy thing to go be, is a showrunner. | ||
He's very successful. | ||
It's not a bad thing that he's doing well in Hollywood. | ||
But I feel like, as a comic, I feel like it just sucks that he's not recognized for this one thing, that he does so well. | ||
He's so funny, man. | ||
Yeah, I try to think, like, seeing guys stop, they do become writers. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, I've seen a lot of comics that they come up, and they're, I mean, like, really be doing spots, like, you're like, it's not like it's like someone half doing it. | ||
Right, killing. | ||
Killing and fully doing it, and then they go and they get into writing. | ||
But it's, I think people find their, you know, you just kind of find whatever lane Yes. | ||
That you're kind of like, all right, well then this seems the path for me in this scene. | ||
Like that's like auditioning. | ||
I learned like, all right, well I'm gonna have to either write a show for myself or just be a stand-up and like just be this because I'm not, I don't do well trying to be someone else or I'm doing these auditions. | ||
It's embarrassing. | ||
You know, it's like, I mean, some of them I emailed a lady and apologized because it was so bad. | ||
I was like, I shouldn't have been in there. | ||
You emailed her? | ||
What a nice guy you are. | ||
She was very nice. | ||
She was always bringing me into stuff. | ||
I don't always get brought in because I talk different. | ||
I think in theory they want me to... | ||
It's like, yeah, this guy's different. | ||
Then I go show them that it's not going good. | ||
And then they're like, that's not what we thought. | ||
I was like, yeah. | ||
So I emailed her and apologized. | ||
I had the luckiest run in Hollywood of all time because I only auditioned for two shows and I got both of them. | ||
Newsradio? | ||
No. | ||
A show called Hardball and then a show called Newsradio. | ||
So I did Hardball. | ||
It was a show on Fox. | ||
I did that. | ||
And then I went from Hardball, I went to Newsradio. | ||
Wow. | ||
So it was like I was working right away. | ||
How long was Hardball on? | ||
Real quick. | ||
Six, seven episodes. | ||
It was a disaster. | ||
It was an interesting situation, though, because the guys who wrote it... | ||
They were really, Jeff and Kevin, Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran, I think that was their names, really funny guys who wrote on The Simpsons, and they wrote on Married with Children, and they were really funny. | ||
But they were like kind of introvert writer guys who were really cool and just like kind of nerdy, but fucking great writers. | ||
And then Fox bought the pilot. | ||
We did a pilot, me and Jim Brewer. | ||
Jim Brewer was on it with me, and Jim and I were good buddies. | ||
So we had a great fucking time. | ||
And Mike Starr from Goodfellas was in it, and a couple other people. | ||
And we did this pilot, and it got picked up. | ||
And then when it got picked up, they were like, yeah, but you guys can't be a showrunner. | ||
You don't know what you're doing. | ||
Like, we're gonna bring in a real showrunner. | ||
And they brought in this showrunner who just butchered the thing. | ||
Just turned it into this shitty, like, cut-and-paste, copy-paste sort of part of a sitcom. | ||
And it was terrible. | ||
And it got canceled. | ||
That's why you need Owen Smith to go be a showrunner. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You actually need people that's going to go in there and... | ||
Yeah, in that case. | ||
In that scenario. | ||
Well, we needed those guys. | ||
Jeff and Kevin should have been the guys who... | ||
It was their idea. | ||
Like, they were baseball fans, and they had this idea of doing this baseball sitcom. | ||
And that was what it was. | ||
Phil Rosenthal had that with Everybody Loves Raymond. | ||
They tried to get somebody else to showrun him, and he was like, no. | ||
He just was like, we just won't. | ||
He was going to quit, and just stood his ground. | ||
They said, all right. | ||
Thank God. | ||
I got news radio because they fired Ray Romano. | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
Ray Romano was the original character that I played. | ||
So they fired Ray. | ||
Luckily they fired Ray during the pilot. | ||
And then they hired another guy during the pilot to play my part. | ||
And then they fired him. | ||
So I wasn't taking Ray's job. | ||
I was taking the guy who took Ray's job. | ||
Because I was friends with Ray. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So it's like, you know, sometimes something like that will happen and you think it's the fucking end of the world, but for Ray it was like the greatest thing that could have ever happened to him because then he went on to do his own thing and it was fucking brilliant. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's interesting to like... | ||
Just with that pilot I shot. | ||
You see, they have to fire people. | ||
You think about the kid actors. | ||
You've got to go tell a seven-year-old, all right, that's enough, and it's over. | ||
And you're like, this is a brutal world. | ||
I always think that with the pilots, too. | ||
That's what's crazy with TV, is you go, they spend a million dollars, two million dollars on a pilot, and then they say no. | ||
And you're like, well, they shot it like it's a real TV show. | ||
There's hundreds and hundreds and probably thousands of TV shows with huge actors. | ||
Yeah, that never went anywhere. | ||
That never went anywhere. | ||
You're like, how do you not put those? | ||
I thought someone said on Twitter once, you have a channel that's like a pilot channel, and you're just like, these are the shows that didn't go. | ||
And then just see what they do. | ||
There's an episode, or there's this. | ||
How do you not use that? | ||
Well, there probably could be a channel of all failed pilots where they could show them all. | ||
I mean, you would see unbelievable amounts of, like, the people that came huge stars that did these pilots that went nowhere. | ||
It's hard to do one of those things, man. | ||
To put together an actual pilot and have it come out and be a real show, that's a grind. | ||
Because you've got a lot of moving pieces. | ||
You've got a lot of different executives. | ||
And they all have their own little hot takes on how things... | ||
People aren't funny at all. | ||
And they'll come in and tell you, Nate, I like what you're doing, but I wish you were just a little bit more active. | ||
Maybe you come in, you're jogging in place, you're distracted. | ||
And you're like, what? | ||
Do I have to listen to this? | ||
And then the showrunners have to meet with the executives, and the executives want to bring in a gay friend, and they want to bring in a handsome guy, and there's all these different pieces that get shoved into the mix. | ||
So many cooks in the kitchen. | ||
It's amazing how many shows come out good at all. | ||
Oh, it's borderline impossible that a show could get made. | ||
They'd always, a big one when I would write the shows, they'd always talk about conflict. | ||
And so you turn it in, they're like, well, you just don't know where the conflict is. | ||
And I was like, everybody has cancer. | ||
Everybody. | ||
Everybody in the show. | ||
Is that good? | ||
It's still a show done exactly like it is, but everybody's got cancer. | ||
One person has a gun. | ||
That's the conflict of the show. | ||
It always has to be conflict, but, you know, I mean, really it's just about interactions. | ||
It's just about funny interactions. | ||
The cast is a big part of it. | ||
You have to believe that cast. | ||
Everything kind of does have to come together, but they get in... | ||
You know, the one I shot was a multicam, and so they always wanted to do a multicam. | ||
I would always take out multicams or write multicams, because in theory, they want to do these multicams because they're cheaper and all this stuff. | ||
But then you're going to pitch it to someone that's not watching a multicam. | ||
They don't watch it, so they're watching... | ||
All these, you know, single-camera shows or everything that's cool. | ||
So then they see the multicam because their business side of their minds wants this cheap way to make a show. | ||
But then when they go to make the decision, they're like, well, I don't like that, the way it looks or something. | ||
You're like, I'm doing this because you told me to write it this way. | ||
Right. | ||
But you're only watching this other thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But weirdly enough, those multicams are the ones that are still on. | ||
Seinfeld. | ||
Newsradio, is that still on? | ||
Yeah, you can watch it. | ||
It was on forever. | ||
Look at all these Seinfeld, King and Queens, Raymond. | ||
These shows are monsters. | ||
Still today. | ||
But they don't do them anymore. | ||
Do they? | ||
But no. | ||
No, that's what I mean. | ||
How many of them are on TV now? | ||
Big Bang Theory was the last, probably giant one. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't know if there's one. | ||
Netflix had the one with Ashton Kutcher. | ||
What did they do? | ||
What was that? | ||
Multicam. | ||
Oh, that was the old show that they brought back. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What the fuck was that? | ||
I forget what it's called. | ||
But it was... | ||
70s show, right? | ||
Wasn't it? | ||
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
They brought that back. | ||
No. | ||
The Ranch or something? | ||
The Ranch. | ||
Oh, what is that? | ||
I don't even know what that is. | ||
I guess it's... | ||
Family on the Ranch? | ||
I'd hope it's about a ranch. | ||
Did you ever watch... | ||
Surprisingly, not about a ranch. | ||
Yeah, sure. | ||
What did you watch? | ||
Everything. | ||
When you were young? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
News Radio, Seinfeld. | ||
But did you watch anything as an adult? | ||
When would I have stopped? | ||
No, I stopped watching stuff probably when I was in college and high school. | ||
Do you go back and watch Seinfeld? | ||
I remember I watched Curb Your Enthusiasm and I'm like, well, this is the end. | ||
Because this is so good, they're never going to go back to doing it the other way. | ||
There's The Ranch. | ||
The Ranch. | ||
Yeah, but they did... | ||
That's a sitcom. | ||
Yeah, but I still go back and watch... | ||
I still go watch Seinfeld and Raymond and... | ||
Right, but do you watch it like... | ||
I watch Seinfeld every day. | ||
What is that donuts thing? | ||
What the fuck is that? | ||
I don't have any idea. | ||
I don't know where all these are coming up. | ||
Superior Donuts 2017. Get the fuck out of here. | ||
Judd Hirsch. | ||
There's some of those shows that it's like, where did that go? | ||
It's like the Miss Pat show and not a multi-cam show. | ||
Yes. | ||
That's a very good show. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ms. Pat shows a very good show. | ||
That is fucking funny. | ||
And I was like, when Ms. Pat was saying she was going to do a sitcom, I'm like, God damn it. | ||
She's so raw. | ||
Have you ever done a podcast with her? | ||
No. | ||
One of the funniest fucking human beings that's ever lived. | ||
She's so funny. | ||
And her story is so crazy. | ||
She was pregnant at 14 with a crack dealer's baby. | ||
She was selling crack. | ||
She got one of her nipples shot off. | ||
She's crazy. | ||
And she's hilarious. | ||
And they nailed it. | ||
They figured out how to cap, but they also did it on streaming, where, you know, it's on BET Plus, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I think it's on something else now, too. | ||
Yeah, I just saw it, too. | ||
I don't know exactly what it is. | ||
Is it on Paramount? | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's on something else, but find out what it's on. | ||
Checking. | ||
That's last year. | ||
It's renewed for a second season. | ||
This was last year. | ||
That's where stand-ups thrive in a multi-cam. | ||
Because there's an audience. | ||
She's so powerful, man. | ||
She's such a powerful performer. | ||
She's funny, too, man. | ||
There was this one girl that was onstage at the Comedy Store one night, and she was kind of like half-assed in her set. | ||
And Miss Pat was angry. | ||
She's like, this bitch is out there fucking barely even fucking trying. | ||
What the fuck is she doing? | ||
Get the fuck off that stage. | ||
She was like legitimate. | ||
She's such a force when she gets on stage and she goes for it. | ||
She had a hard life. | ||
So when she sees someone lazy, she gets crazy. | ||
It was kind of hilarious. | ||
That's a thing that's filtered into... | ||
It's nice to... | ||
You see that Miss Pat energy where you're like, yeah, this is a show. | ||
Whatever you think... | ||
If you're like, well, we're at the comic store, we're working out, you're like, they audience paid, and they're spending a lot of money to come out. | ||
I'm sorry you're not at Madison Square Garden at the moment, but this is, when is it enough that you go and do your act? | ||
And go do, and actually, you know, I don't know. | ||
She got a season three. | ||
Look at that. | ||
But it is on somewhere else, too, right? | ||
It is available a few other places, but this was the news. | ||
She got a bigger deal with BET to do more stuff than just this. | ||
Comics are good at scripted show. | ||
All the ones I'm talking about, they're all comedians. | ||
Yes. | ||
And there's your proof that I think people still want this, because it's something that you can put on, and it's not this full-on... | ||
Every show can't be like... | ||
This whole thing. | ||
When you want to watch something, you're like, I love Narcos, but I haven't watched it last season because you're just like, I don't, I mean, I love it so much, but you're like, I can't dive into 10 hours. | ||
Of just this again. | ||
unidentified
|
Murder. | |
Murder. | ||
And I've got to follow everything. | ||
Then I'm like, who's that guy? | ||
And you're like, I can't. | ||
And then so I watched Seinfeld. | ||
I just watched something that now I'm watching old movies. | ||
All this kind of stuff that you're like, I can kind of mindlessly kind of watch. | ||
I don't feel like I have to be too involved in it. | ||
Because it's too much. | ||
And there's too much of it. | ||
That you end up going... | ||
That's why I believe The Office. | ||
These shows are the most popular shows on the streaming. | ||
Because people are like, I just want to like... | ||
Just veg. | ||
Yes. | ||
Yeah, people like to do something that's simple and it takes them away. | ||
I said that I was watching with my family during the pandemic. | ||
We were watching that Ali Wong show. | ||
There's a show that Ali Wong is like one of this girl's neighbors. | ||
She's like this overweight mom. | ||
And there's the guy who's the husband who's like a professor... | ||
And it was like a simple sort of sitcom-y, pretty funny. | ||
I could watch it, you know, with my 10-year-old and we could laugh. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It was like nothing too crazy. | ||
It was like, it's a vibe, right? | ||
Like a sitcom vibe. | ||
It's stuff for families. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You got to think, TGIF, when that was on, that was about you and your family going around and watching TV and watching all of Friday night. | ||
Thank God it's Friday, yeah. | ||
Stuff for families, I feel like a lot of TV now can separate even the wife and the husband. | ||
It's, you know, my wife watches all the housewife shows. | ||
Right. | ||
And then I'm watching, you know, Narcos. | ||
unidentified
|
Murder. | |
Murder. | ||
Yeah, like, and she's watching shows how to murder me. | ||
And then... | ||
She watches all that. | ||
Why do women watch those fucking shows? | ||
There's an out. | ||
For an out. | ||
They can figure it out one day. | ||
When it finally gets to it. | ||
But they like watching murder shows and murder mystery shows where it's real crime. | ||
Where they're talking about serial killers. | ||
It's mostly women watching those. | ||
Do you think they're trying to understand what makes a male murderer? | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
Because they're not that. | ||
I feel like they're nosy. | ||
They're... | ||
Can't even let a serial killer live his own life. | ||
He's like, I'm just trying to do my killings in peace. | ||
Yeah, I walked in and my wife and my daughter were watching this fucking documentary on that Richard Ramirez guy. | ||
I think they like watching... | ||
I can get in moods where I want to watch that stuff, but I couldn't watch it every day. | ||
My wife records Dr. Phil, People's Court. | ||
We still have DirecTV. | ||
I have 150 People's Court. | ||
It's all her on the DVR. And it's like, she watches like that. | ||
Those are what she'll watch like, kind of, I guess Dr. Phil's still on? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And so she'll watch Dr. Phil and then People's Court. | ||
And then she'll watch that kind of stuff. | ||
I'm really good friends with Dr. Phil's son. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, we're buddies. | ||
We partied together. | ||
Hung out together, going on vacations with our families together. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's the best. | ||
He's a great guy. | ||
I always thought that if you were the son of someone famous, you had to be fucked. | ||
He's so normal. | ||
Normal. | ||
He's a fucking super great guy. | ||
I heard Dr. Phil's cool, too. | ||
He's the best. | ||
I had him in here. | ||
He was so fun. | ||
He was hilarious. | ||
I asked him about the Catch Me Outside girl, because he made her famous. | ||
He's a fucking character. | ||
Isn't she like a real business now? | ||
Bro, she's richer than me. | ||
That bitch is balling out of control. | ||
She made like $100 million off of OnlyFans showing her asshole. | ||
How much did she make? | ||
Something crazy on OnlyFans. | ||
That's insane. | ||
She was like the number one earner on OnlyFans. | ||
What is she doing? | ||
She posted the receipts, if you will. | ||
Let me see. | ||
Let me see these receipts. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Bad Baby posts receipts to prove her $50 million OnlyFans earnings. | ||
What the fuck, man? | ||
She took a little video showing her in the app behind the scenes that only she could see. | ||
It shows her revenue. | ||
That's wild, dude. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
Look at that. | ||
April, $7 million. | ||
That's $100,000, I think. | ||
$700,000? | ||
Oh, $700,000 for April. | ||
That's incredible. | ||
I mean, is that $10 million? | ||
That's a million. | ||
There's a period there. | ||
There's no comment. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
There's no comment. | ||
So that's $1 million. | ||
That was getting higher and higher. | ||
$239 million a day? | ||
I don't know how to read. | ||
$3 million down there. | ||
August, she made two million in August. | ||
Three million in July. | ||
4.6. | ||
4.6 in June. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
She's balling. | ||
And what is she doing on there? | ||
We should join. | ||
Can we join? | ||
Why don't we join OnlyFans just to see her? | ||
Go do it on your computer. | ||
Go ahead, do it. | ||
There's better ways to spend money. | ||
How much does it cost? | ||
It turns out you can look up most of the stuff online. | ||
Oh, you read it? | ||
4chan? | ||
I've heard. | ||
I've heard. | ||
What do you mean you've heard? | ||
You've seen it. | ||
I've looked. | ||
Stop lying. | ||
I wouldn't do that. | ||
You do. | ||
I don't know what 4chan is. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, I've heard about it. | ||
I hear people say it. | ||
Stay pure, Nate. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Stay off of it. | ||
Is it a Reddit? | ||
No. | ||
It's like Reddit on Adderall plus very little restrictions. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's just wild people. | ||
Wild people stuck in cubicles that make the most ruthless and funny memes and they say ridiculous shit and they almost caused the insurrection of the Capitol. | ||
I mean, that's really what it is. | ||
I mean, that's the highlight of that film, or the documentary series, Into the Storm, about QAnon. | ||
You know what that is? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, you know. | ||
Did you ever watch that documentary, the HBO thing? | ||
It's very interesting. | ||
It's called Into the Storm. | ||
And it's all about these people that get duped by these people pretending to be insiders in the Trump administration and saying how they're going to take down all the pedophiles and... | ||
You know, Trump is running some secret covert operation, and he's gonna bring down the swamp, and they all bought into it hook, line, and sinker, and it leads up to the January 6th insurrection. | ||
It's pretty fucking wild. | ||
But it all starts on 4chan. | ||
4chan, then 8chan, and then what was the other one? | ||
8kun? | ||
Is that what it was? | ||
Yeah, that sounds right. | ||
There's a lot of them. | ||
I went in there the other day. | ||
I went in one of them. | ||
I think it was 4chan the other day. | ||
I just said, let me see what these psychos are up to. | ||
It's madness, man. | ||
Because they're all anonymous. | ||
Everyone's anonymous, right? | ||
So you could post the wildest shit. | ||
And it's basically shitposting, and they're saying things to try to be the most outrageous and try to freak each other out. | ||
It's freedom, right? | ||
It's like... | ||
It's not real life. | ||
It's anonymous. | ||
It's not even your name. | ||
It's like numbers, right? | ||
Like, who are you? | ||
Who knows? | ||
Say some crazy shit. | ||
So it's like people that fucking hate their job as insurance salesmen, and they'll just type wild shit. | ||
So here's 4chan right now. | ||
4chan is a simple image-based bulletin board where anyone can post comments and share images. | ||
So let's find something in there. | ||
Yeah, careful. | ||
Something controversial. | ||
Let's go with controversial. | ||
Creative, other, business, finance, travel, LBGT, pony, random. | ||
I mean, is everything controversial in here? | ||
unidentified
|
Adult. | |
It can be, yeah. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Super. | ||
Super. | ||
What would be a good thing to check into that's extreme? | ||
Politically incorrect. | ||
Bam! | ||
Let's go to that one. | ||
Politically incorrect. | ||
Accept. | ||
You have to accept. | ||
Comply with the rules. | ||
Like how it says rules in quotes, because there's very few fucking rules. | ||
The rules of 4chan, which are also linked in the homepage. | ||
Okay, what kind of crazy show are these people posting? | ||
unidentified
|
Um... | |
What are they talking about? | ||
Mass shootings? | ||
Pension for wearing your mother's clothes, perhaps? | ||
Or have you gone straight to walk? | ||
Yeah, see, like, whacking off to old school photos of your classmates. | ||
See, look, everyone is anonymous, right? | ||
So they're all just, like, typing wild shit. | ||
And scroll down lower. | ||
If you had, like, it's mostly young men. | ||
Or older men with no families. | ||
That's our housewives? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I bet there's some fucking housewives in there, too. | ||
No, I'm saying that's what our wives watch Housewives and their husbands are there. | ||
Yeah, I think it's mostly disenchanted people and they're attracted to this idea that they're completely anonymous. | ||
And then they could just have this community of people who are faceless, nameless, and they just talk wild shit to each other. | ||
That's wild. | ||
Yeah, I don't know why... | ||
I mean, I guess that appeals... | ||
I guess you're going to be appealed to it more and more as you grow up in this world. | ||
I think for people it's a way to communicate without any boundaries, completely being uncensored and without any repercussions because they're uncensored. | ||
But there are repercussions. | ||
Like I remember there was this one guy that was posting a bunch of wild shit, awful shit on 4chan and then people found out who he was and he got fired from his job. | ||
And he was just a normal guy, and his take was like, hey, that's not really me. | ||
This is like, I'm almost like playing a character. | ||
Like, this is like fantasy for me. | ||
It's fun. | ||
Like, just because I wrote those things. | ||
Those are not my real thoughts. | ||
And they're like, get the fuck out of our office. | ||
Yeah, you can't. | ||
Like, they just fired him. | ||
Which is interesting, right? | ||
Because, like, he's not- Because if he wrote a movie- Right. | ||
And did all that, he could win an Oscar. | ||
Right, right? | ||
You can have a movie where it's a celebrated movie where a man beats a woman to death, like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. | ||
Spoiler alert. | ||
There's a scene in there where Brad Pitt beats a woman to death on a fireplace, smashes her head. | ||
It's fucking wild. | ||
But if you talked about that on stage... | ||
People would be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
If you wrote that in a post on 4chan, and then your employer found out about it, you'd get fired. | ||
Which is very strange. | ||
Now that I'm thinking about it, I think the guy might have done something really shitty. | ||
I think he might have doxxed someone or something, and then they got rid of him. | ||
But it's just, people think that that's... | ||
You know, you have, like, an opportunity to just be free of expectations, you know, because, like, oh, you're Mike, you know, the fucking general manager of the fucking muffler shop, but meanwhile you're on 4chan posting pictures of giant black dicks and fucking... | ||
Wild shit, you know, but it's... | ||
But could they get rid of that with, like, if everybody had to have their real name online or something like that? | ||
Yeah, it would ruin everything. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It would ruin that kind of community. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because that's not really real life. | ||
I mean, maybe some of those people have those real thoughts. | ||
Maybe some of those people are just, you know, playing. | ||
They're having fun pretending to be complete fucking assholes. | ||
And then mixed in are real sociopaths, real psychos who gravitate towards this and are trying to find the most disturbing images of mass murder and throw those up too. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So do you think there will ever be a phase where you have online real identity? | ||
I think that will probably come about when there's no more privacy, which I think is on the way. | ||
I think privacy is going to go out the window. | ||
I think that is the general direction where online life and technology are headed, to the point where everyone has access to almost everything. | ||
If you're doing it online, I think everyone's going to have access to it. | ||
And it's going to be very difficult to hide behind fake identities and things like that. | ||
That can make you, like, that stuff, you know, it's like, I feel like the older you get to, like, you start thinking, like, you're seeing people, like, you don't want to live in a city, you want to live, like, away from, you know, like, land, like, you want to buy, you know, I think about that more now, like, you're just like, I want to buy some land somewhere. | ||
Well, that's you want peace. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You get older, you're just like, what am I doing? | ||
It is. | ||
It is, yeah. | ||
This is all fucking stupid. | ||
You get it. | ||
I want to wake up and hear birds chirping. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you see, like, you can see somewhere like 70, and you're like, I don't care about anything. | ||
And you're like, I get how you would be there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because you just stop caring. | ||
Well, you just get overwhelmed by external information and you don't want it anymore. | ||
And you get to put, you know what I'd like? | ||
I'd like to go out in a fucking, just a field and have lunch. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Just sit there and have my lunch out there with birds chirping and shit and just relax. | ||
Relax, and don't be inundated by external information constantly, which is what most of us are, especially if you're on your phone all day. | ||
You're just inundated with external information. | ||
Nonstop. | ||
Nonstop. | ||
I've cut out most of that in my life, and it's made a significant impact. | ||
You know, initially I stopped on Twitter. | ||
Because I was realizing that it was disturbing me. | ||
It was bothering me. | ||
And there's so many hateful people, so many angry people. | ||
I'm like, I don't like this. | ||
And I don't think this is genuinely constructive. | ||
I don't think they're getting anything done. | ||
It just seems like they're just like monkeys throwing shit at each other. | ||
I'm like, this is a terrible environment to have your mind exposed to. | ||
And so when I stopped doing that, It helped me tremendously. | ||
It was like a giant weight lifted off my shoulder. | ||
First thing I stopped doing is reading my own mentions. | ||
Like, years ago, I stopped reading things that people were writing about me. | ||
And that was nice. | ||
I stopped reading comments on YouTube. | ||
That was nice. | ||
And then I stopped reading people... | ||
Occasionally, I'll go into Twitter like once or twice a day just to say, like, what's the zoo look like? | ||
And they're like, oh, look, monkey's throwing shit. | ||
Then I just get out of there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's not... | ||
I don't think it's a healthy environment. | ||
You know, it's just so much... | ||
You know, you did this, and you said that, and fuck you, and you should go to jail, and we should try him for treason, and this person should fucking... | ||
unidentified
|
It's like, isn't there more to life? | |
It's not balanced. | ||
But I think there's... | ||
It's almost like the people on that world, we've given them the keys to the city, and you're like, that's nobody. | ||
Nobody's... | ||
That's literally... | ||
A small tiny group of people that are just living this world. | ||
The majority of them are just like when you go do live shows and you're like, yeah, dude, people are just going out. | ||
People are just going out to shows and they love shows and they have fun and whatever city that you think could be left or right or whatever it is, the crowds are awesome and they're excited to be there and it's just fun. | ||
And then it's the acknowledgement of like But all these people are saying all this... | ||
It doesn't matter what they're saying. | ||
That website's saying that, so don't go look at that website. | ||
It's not even remotely... | ||
You couldn't even go... | ||
We could go walk and randomly find people. | ||
Well, we found one last night, that lady who yelled at Tony. | ||
Yeah, they get sucked in. | ||
So it's not that they don't exist, but you got to think that's one person out of all those people. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Well, that's representative, right? | ||
Because that's one person out of 270 people. | ||
And so that's pretty normal. | ||
But if you get the whole country That's millions of people. | ||
Like, if you have one out of, you know, one out of a hundred, and then you have 300 million people, you got three million fucking crazy people. | ||
And if they're on social media, and they're complaining on Facebook, and you read their fucking posts like, ugh, you'll think this is the whole world. | ||
But this is... | ||
A small percentage of people who are perpetually outraged and who engage in recreational outrage. | ||
That is part of the way they spend their day, is being upset about things all day long. | ||
It's not constructive. | ||
It's not good for you. | ||
I think it's very bad for your anxiety and your psyche. | ||
It's a shit way to communicate, because even if you were talking to a person, I firmly believe that if you were talking to a person that you really disagreed with, but you were civil and calm and peaceful, and you talked to them in a normal way, you could probably avoid any kind of name-calling and shit. | ||
It's things that people do when they don't see your face, they're not looking at you, they don't feel bad if they insult you, and they just do it like they're just sending a fucking carrier pigeon off with this. | ||
This shitty note. | ||
Not knowing who's going to receive it or how it's going to affect them. | ||
Imagine those old days. | ||
You wrote something bad. | ||
It would take a month to get that pigeon. | ||
The weekend, you're like, I hope the pigeon dies. | ||
I shouldn't have sent that. | ||
We're about to start a war. | ||
We'll send a hawk after that pigeon. | ||
That's their delete button. | ||
They're like, God, I shouldn't have. | ||
I wrote some crazy stuff last night. | ||
That's Game of Thrones, right? | ||
Send a raven. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, they would send ravens. | ||
Send a message. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's how they would get all their messages. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Go back to those days. | ||
I don't think that's good either. | ||
We've seen people in the... | ||
I've started hiking. | ||
Oh, yeah? | ||
And, yeah, I've gotten pretty... | ||
We went to Calgary, and we went up to Banff, and we started doing some big, long hikes, and it's just like... | ||
It's just, you're like, this is the greatest thing I've ever done. | ||
unidentified
|
Nature. | |
Yeah, it's the best. | ||
And exercise, yeah. | ||
It's the best. | ||
It's cleansing. | ||
It's the absolute, just seeing... | ||
I like being outside. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you just... | ||
I like the idea of you're like, no one's... | ||
I mean, most hikes there's people on. | ||
I want to go somewhere... | ||
I want to go somewhere where there's no one around. | ||
Right. | ||
I know, like hunting and stuff, right? | ||
You're going out. | ||
But it's like going to those places where you're like, you're just in it, dude. | ||
This is the wild. | ||
That's why I like Bigfoot, where you're like, there's so many places that we haven't even been to. | ||
There's just too many places. | ||
unidentified
|
Do you think Bigfoot's real? | |
I do, but... | ||
Really? | ||
I just want, yeah. | ||
I want them to be real. | ||
What do I care? | ||
I went hunting for Bigfoot. | ||
See, I would love that. | ||
Me and Duncan Trussell went hunting for Bigfoot. | ||
How'd it go? | ||
It wasn't effective. | ||
And one thing that I found out, well, I had a bit about it, about one thing you find, one thing you don't find when you go looking for Bigfoot is black people. | ||
You just find a bunch of unfuckable white dudes out there hunting for Bigfoot. | ||
You're more likely to find Bigfoot than you are black people looking for Bigfoot. | ||
They have not bought into that nonsense. | ||
It's just our thing. | ||
It's an unfuckable white guy thing. | ||
And we were joking around about that with the guys who were out there doing, they were laughing. | ||
They were like, yeah, it's like, I mean, it's fun, you know, at the worst. | ||
He goes, this guy had a really good perspective on it. | ||
He had a good sense of humor. | ||
We were joking with him. | ||
He goes, look, worst case scenario, you're just out camping. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And it's awesome. | ||
And it's fun. | ||
And there's like seeing things. | ||
And there's a goal. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Best case scenario, the world changes. | ||
Right. | ||
You find an actual Sasquatch. | ||
And Earth is different. | ||
Yes. | ||
This thing, like... | ||
That's what I... So the idea of going out and being... | ||
Not that I know how. | ||
I talked about this in my podcast about bears. | ||
And I got... | ||
I mean, no one... | ||
Our podcast is stupid. | ||
But it's... | ||
What is it called? | ||
Nate Land. | ||
It's just talking about being funny. | ||
But I thought... | ||
Because I started watching all this bear stuff. | ||
Because there's a grizzly bear in Banff. | ||
They have a grizzly bear that comes down near the hotel. | ||
I don't know if you've been to Banff. | ||
There's a hotel, like a Fairmont Hotel. | ||
And a grizzly bear will come down by the hotel. | ||
And there's so many people there. | ||
And they watch it, and it's got two cubs. | ||
That's so dangerous. | ||
Oh yeah, it is. | ||
But then I thought, we were talking about running away from, or if a bear attacks you, and I know you know how to do it. | ||
But what if a bear's running at you, you juke it? | ||
You know how they tell you? | ||
But listen, Joe. | ||
So the bear is coming quick, and then you go, hey bear, and then go the other way. | ||
His momentum falls forward because he's dumb? | ||
Nope, he turns and he catches you because he's used to doing that with deer that are a lot faster than you. | ||
That's true. | ||
You ever seen a bear run full clip? | ||
They run like a car. | ||
You have no idea. | ||
Kobe Bryant jumped over a car. | ||
He did. | ||
That's Kobe Bryant and that's not you or me. | ||
That's true. | ||
The Bears. | ||
But give him a nice... | ||
I got one janky knee and I can barely run. | ||
You ever watch footage of Barry Sanders? | ||
Yes. | ||
You don't think Barry Sanders could juke a bear? | ||
I know Barry Sanders couldn't juke a bear. | ||
All day long? | ||
Nope. | ||
No, he'd be eaten. | ||
We'd have one less Barry Sanders. | ||
A bear doesn't know to watch your chest. | ||
And so you watch your head. | ||
They don't give a fuck. | ||
You can't run. | ||
But if one's coming at you, would you at least try to juke it? | ||
unidentified
|
I'd probably think, what have I done that I'm out here with no gun and a bear? | |
That's what I would think. | ||
That'd be my last thought. | ||
You fucking dummy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Why don't you have a gun on you? | ||
unidentified
|
Bigfoot. | |
Bigfoot. | ||
Bigfoot guy, yeah. | ||
Did you ever see Bobcat Goldthwait's Bigfoot movie? | ||
It's really good. | ||
Oh, I would love to watch that. | ||
Bobcat Goldthwait made, I think it's something, Creek, what is it called? | ||
Woodland, what is it? | ||
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Willow Creek. | |
Willow Creek? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's like a Blair Witch Project type movie about these guys who go, this guy and his girlfriend or wife go to try to find Bigfoot on the anniversary of the Patterson footage, which is like the most famous Bigfoot, fake Bigfoot footage. | ||
They film it, they're doing a fun sort of documentary type thing, and then they have an encounter. | ||
And it's good, man. | ||
It's good. | ||
It's a horror movie. | ||
But it's like, Bobcat is a bad motherfucker. | ||
He's a very underrated director. | ||
He made a couple really fucking good movies. | ||
Like there was one shakes the clown that was like about an alcoholic crazy clown It was really funny like really like dark movie and then he made another one about something America God bless America. | ||
Yeah, that that is another fucking wild crazy movie from 2011 He made a couple fucking really good movies man Really underrated director, but Willow Creek is my favorite. | ||
It's fucking good. | ||
And as a person who's been obsessed with Bigfoot his whole life, I just... | ||
My parents took me camping once when I was like eight or something like that. | ||
When we first moved to California, we went camping in the Redwoods, like out that area. | ||
And I remember thinking, like, there could be something living out here. | ||
I mean, there's just nothing. | ||
I mean, no one's around there. | ||
There's not enough people around there, but the odds are... | ||
It's not possible to hide something that big for that long. | ||
You'd find a body. | ||
You'd find bones. | ||
You'd find something. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But you don't really find dead mountain lions. | ||
Like, try finding a dead mountain lion. | ||
They die all the time. | ||
Well, they have, like, in Florida, pumas are very hard to see. | ||
Well, they get hit by cars all the time in Florida. | ||
Oh, well, never mind. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Recently, a ton of them have been hit by cars. | ||
Pumas are kind of endangered in Florida, which is really weird because I think recently in one month, four of them got hit by cars. | ||
See if you can find something about that. | ||
Which they're like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
Are there more of these than we thought? | ||
What's happening here? | ||
Yeah, what are the odds of that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But pumas are, you know, an established animal. | ||
To have, like, some cryptozoological creature like Bigfoot that's undetected. | ||
But it's fun. | ||
It's fun. | ||
I want to believe, but I don't really. | ||
Well, that's like in the ocean. | ||
They find some big fish or some big whale. | ||
And you're like, I don't know, dude. | ||
We never knew it was down there. | ||
They think aliens could live in the ocean. | ||
That's how much... | ||
That was Jeremy Corbell was talking about that the other day. | ||
It's hard to say what kind of information he's getting, how accurate it is. | ||
But they're basically saying, think about the movie Abyss, where the aliens lived underwater. | ||
It was like, that's probably what's going on. | ||
There's some sort of alien base underwater or some meeting place where that's where they hide. | ||
That's where they go to be undetected. | ||
Do you think you're going to see it in your lifetime? | ||
Bigfoot or aliens? | ||
Aliens. | ||
You know where it's like, oh, we have to talk to them now. | ||
We have to interact with them. | ||
There's a video that is impossible to ignore. | ||
There's some things that are impossible to ignore. | ||
And then there's eyewitness testimonies of people who are rock solid, totally dependable fighter pilots who have seen some things. | ||
The best examples is this guy, Commander David Fravor, who was off the coast of San Diego in 2004. And this is corroborated by multiple points of data. | ||
They had this tracking system that tracks things above Earth's atmosphere, and they found this thing went from above 60,000 feet above sea level to 50 feet above sea level in less than a second. | ||
They have no idea how it's doing this. | ||
They have no idea. | ||
There's no method of propulsion that's visible. | ||
They followed this thing. | ||
They locked onto it. | ||
It blocked their radar. | ||
It blocked their tracking systems, rather. | ||
And then it jetted off at an impossible rate of speed. | ||
And then the Nimitz relocated this thing at their cat point. | ||
The cat point is where the fighter pilots, when they're doing this test, they're doing this exercise, they were supposed to meet at this very specific point. | ||
And that's where this thing had gone. | ||
Like, this thing had read their manifest and knew, like, or read their plans and knew where they were going. | ||
That's wild. | ||
That is way more compelling to me than Bigfoot. | ||
The Bigfoot thing is just fun, but the alien thing is fun and likely. | ||
There's something going on. | ||
And I go back and forth. | ||
Sometimes I think maybe it's some sort of government drone that's so sophisticated and it's totally top secret. | ||
And if we ever go to war with China, that's when they're going to break it out. | ||
And then sometimes I think what they are is something that's monitoring us and making sure we don't blow ourselves up. | ||
Making sure that we make this journey from territorial apes with thermonuclear weapons into some sort of an advanced intergalactic society. | ||
And that there's a very crucial moment where the instincts of these tribal people, which is all of us, all human beings, Tribal, territorial people where you have to keep them from sabotaging any possible future progress by blowing themselves up, by killing each other, by destroying the earth. | ||
What if we talk to them and then when you say that, they go, yeah, that was it. | ||
Is that easy? | ||
Not that easy, but you just go, is that it? | ||
And you go, yeah. | ||
That's about it. | ||
We're trying to keep you guys from blowing yourselves up. | ||
But maybe that's the natural thing that you see. | ||
When civilizations advance, there's a very precarious moment. | ||
Where, like, they have the capability of blowing themselves up, but the reason and the logic to not do it. | ||
But they also have these instincts to control resources and take over territories. | ||
They still have those instincts, but they have to bypass that. | ||
They have to figure out how to... | ||
And so that's when aliens start circling and just keeping an eye on us. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, that's what you would hope, right? | ||
Instead of them attacking us. | ||
Yes. | ||
I think if they were going to attack us, they would have already done it. | ||
If they really could do all those things, they could probably take out our power grid pretty easy. | ||
Apparently, the stories are that they're able to shut down nuclear launches and nuclear facilities. | ||
And that they do that, and they hover over military bases, and that they just shut everything down just to let you know, hey bitch, you know, I can just flip that switch, so don't get too fucking squirrely out there, you weirdos. | ||
That's so crazy to think that they, yeah. | ||
Because I always think about it, if you did, if you lost everything, electricity, I mean, it just shuts everything down. | ||
Then if everything gets shut down everywhere, then it's a wrap. | ||
Well, if we went out, if the power went out in this country for two weeks, it would be full, complete, total chaos. | ||
All the work that's been done back to zero. | ||
Back to very dangerous times because there'd be very little food within a few days. | ||
If we had no refrigeration, no air conditioning, and no shipping, it would be very bad very quickly. | ||
There'd be a few people living on ranches that know how to survive, and a few people that know how to hunt and fish and have a good supply. | ||
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Yeah. | |
See, that's what makes me want to, you know, there's part of me that wants to go learn, A, how to survive. | ||
Like, when you get into hiking, like, getting into, and hiking I know is not surviving, but I've started watching more stuff that lead, you know, that talk about surviving, or people go hunting. | ||
I watch, like, well, I was listening to bear attacks, because I just got, like, once I heard about that grizzly bear, then I just go down, I just listen to only bear attacks. | ||
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Yeah. | |
I have several friends that have been attacked by bears. | ||
Yeah, I listened to... | ||
Steve Rinella? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
That's the one I listened to. | ||
Remy Warren, Steve Rinella. | ||
Could've juked it. | ||
It was behind him. | ||
But those guys, but you see it when you start... | ||
Doing all that stuff and learning how to survive. | ||
Because you're like, alright, if everything goes... | ||
Because it is. | ||
It's like the idea of being... | ||
You're just trusting that all this is going to turn on. | ||
Right. | ||
And then if it doesn't, it's not good. | ||
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Right. | |
And then you're going to die. | ||
And so it's like that... | ||
Lately, you're just like, I'm nervous about... | ||
I don't like this is out of my hands. | ||
Yeah. | ||
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Yeah. | |
So I need to get something back. | ||
I always thought that, not compared to stand-up comedy, but in a way with stand-up was like at the beginning, like you put all the focus on a comedy club. | ||
I want to get past at this club. | ||
And then you're like, I don't want this club to have all my cards. | ||
And if this club decides not to use me and I've put 15 years in trying to do that, now I'm done. | ||
And so you want like stuff spread out. | ||
That's the problem when guys get a residency in Vegas. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like George Wallace, who's fucking hilarious. | ||
George Wallace got a residency in Vegas when he was a top touring comic. | ||
He had a big name, he had been on television a bunch of times, and he got this residency in Vegas and he was there for a long fucking time. | ||
And then he goes on the road now and it's not commensurate. | ||
His audience is not at the level that they should be. | ||
And it's just because he spent so much time doing this residency instead of being like Brian Regan or some of these other guys who tour of his massive following all over the country. | ||
He doesn't have that anymore because he put all his eggs in that one basket. | ||
That scares me. | ||
Yeah, that scares me. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You go do it maybe later. | ||
That's like a move you make later. | ||
The only guy I know who does it as happy is Carrot Top. | ||
He loves it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he does other gigs, too. | ||
He'll travel. | ||
I think he has a place in Florida, too, so he goes down to Florida. | ||
He'll do other gigs. | ||
He'll do casinos. | ||
He'll do stuff like that, too. | ||
But he's happy, and he does really well. | ||
Yeah, I think I'm a big fan. | ||
He's a great fucking guy, man. | ||
He's a great fucking guy. | ||
And he was a punchline for comics. | ||
They shit all over him for years. | ||
Yeah, I never understood that. | ||
I never understood it either. | ||
I never knew because you're like, well, who's doing that? | ||
People always think something's easy, so they always think they do it with Larry the Cable guy or something. | ||
They go, oh, I'll go do that. | ||
Then go do it and make $50 million. | ||
Go do that if it's that easy. | ||
Right. | ||
You can't, to get to that level, there's something else. | ||
And the work that they're putting in, it's beyond just like, ah, that's an easy way. | ||
There's no easy way. | ||
Well, Caratop told a story about Bill Hicks. | ||
Because Bill Hicks used to shit on Caratop. | ||
And he had this bit about, you know, Caratop, that's like, for people who think Gallagher's too heady. | ||
And it's like... | ||
But it was just a joke! | ||
And he met... | ||
Carrot Top met Bill before he died. | ||
And Bill came to see his show. | ||
And Bill was sick. | ||
And Carrot Top met him. | ||
He goes, I thought you hated me. | ||
He goes, man, I don't fucking hate you. | ||
He goes, I don't hate anybody, man. | ||
I'm sorry. | ||
And like they had a moment. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And it was like just before Bill died. | ||
Oh, that's good. | ||
It was really cool. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's a joke. | ||
Yeah, it's just comedy, man. | ||
And it's just like, it's a target. | ||
It's a cultural, like, hot point. | ||
Like, here's this guy, he's got fucking balloon animals, and he's, you know, holding up signs and shit. | ||
But it's funny! | ||
It's a sign, in a weird way, that Carrot Top, that's how successful you are. | ||
Is that you are the one that is brought into this. | ||
Right. | ||
But I understand Carrot Top being, he would probably assume everybody hates him. | ||
And he's probably alone. | ||
Yes. | ||
He's an island. | ||
I always refer to certain comics as an island, because there's certain comics that aren't hanging out with other comics. | ||
They're just on their own. | ||
They're touring on their own, and maybe they have an opening act, or maybe they use a local act to open for them, but they don't have a community. | ||
It's one of the things I try to enforce in these guys coming up. | ||
I'm like, man, your community is everything. | ||
It's so important. | ||
Whether it's the seller or the store or here in Austin. | ||
It's like having a community of a bunch of really good comics that live in the area. | ||
You get together, do shows, and laugh, and joke around. | ||
That's so important for your psyche because there's not a lot of us out there. | ||
I mean, real professional comedians that are really funny that you would want to pay to see, how many of them are there? | ||
It's not a bunch. | ||
A couple hundred? | ||
Yeah. | ||
In the world? | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, I mean, there might be 500 really good comics in the entire country. | ||
Like, really solid headliners that could sell out a room in the country. | ||
There might be 500. I could sell out a room? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't know about it. | ||
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200? | |
300? | ||
200, it's to sell out, like to be a draw? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I mean, that's... | ||
To be like a solid headliner. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like when you become a real professional comic, like you can be a professional comic in the process, like you're almost doing an apprenticeship, you're a middle act, you're a host, you're kind of a professional comic and then you're paying your bills. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
Right, but you're not like headlining. | ||
Yes. | ||
To get to the point where you're headlining and people come to see you, how many of them are those? | ||
How many of those are there? | ||
I bet it's got to be closer to the 200. Yeah. | ||
I guess you can go a little bit, you know, maybe it's more than 200. I get probably that 2 to 5 in that range. | ||
Let's get crazy and say it's 1,000. | ||
It's 8. Let's get crazy and say it's 1,000. | ||
That's out of 330 million. | ||
That's nuts. | ||
That's a rare group of humans, and we've got to stick together. | ||
Yeah, I love that. | ||
I think when I go on the road, I have two openers, and it's all different ages. | ||
Mike Vecchione, I started with, will come out with me some. | ||
And then it's guys that are younger, Dustin, you know, Dustin Chafin that I started with, then guys that are younger. | ||
And it's like you mix it up and you're, because it's about the hang. | ||
That A, it's like nice to know what's going on in the comedy world. | ||
You kind of somewhat need to, you're kind of, you're aware of what's happening. | ||
So you're not just clueless. | ||
And then to be around each other and just making jokes and being funny. | ||
You're being funny the whole time. | ||
We're going hiking now. | ||
When I go hiking, it's just being funny the whole time. | ||
Like last night in the green room. | ||
How much were we laughing? | ||
A ton. | ||
Because it's just being funny. | ||
And you're like, that hang is what it's all about. | ||
Yes. | ||
You just want to go sit there and just, you trash each other, you trash someone, and then you're, and it's, and that's, that's what people lost with that COVID. They were not around that. | ||
And it was, you realize like, oh, I got to go be around this dude or I'm going to lose everything. | ||
And then people lose it when they leave. | ||
You know, New York had it when I, like I was there and it was so much, but then you leave and you start touring, you start headlining. | ||
It's very easy to be like, you could go, oh, I haven't seen anybody. | ||
Months. | ||
Months. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
It's just not good for us. | ||
And it promotes this sort of alienation and these feelings of anxiety that I think got really ramped up during COVID with a lot of people, unfortunately. | ||
You need to be around people that see through you. | ||
So if you're being funny with your friends that are not comics, it's like, well, they know you're the comic and they're watching kind of a show. | ||
You need to be funny with your friends that are a comic that are like, you're like, dude, well, you're the worst. | ||
And they see through you like... | ||
Why did you say that? | ||
I'm generally not the funny person when I go out with friends that aren't comics. | ||
I just talk. | ||
I just have fun. | ||
My wife is way funnier than me. | ||
When we go out, because my wife wants to make me laugh. | ||
It's like her chance to do stand-up. | ||
She's always the one who's calling shit out. | ||
It's fun. | ||
Yeah, my wife's funny. | ||
Like, it is work like that because you're... | ||
You try to make jokes, but then you're... | ||
It's just a weird kind of thing. | ||
And then with comics, I think some of those jokes can be too... | ||
They're too harsh. | ||
They can be too... | ||
You know, why are you wearing that? | ||
Yeah, you could say that to me and I would start laughing, but you say that to some people and they get, like, really fucked up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They get really insecure. | ||
Why would you say that? | ||
And then the wife will send you an email. | ||
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I just want you to know that Claude was actually upset that you said that about his shirt. | |
I'm like... | ||
What cunt the fuck is wrong with Claude? | ||
What's he talking about? | ||
I can imagine getting an email from a wife. | ||
You know that kind of shit happens? | ||
I know, I think it does, but I would be, if I got an email, like I'm trying to think for my neighbors, and we're friends with their neighbors, if they emailed me, I'd be like, what are you doing, dude? | ||
Right. | ||
Would you go knock on their door? | ||
Yeah. | ||
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Apologize? | |
I don't know about apologize, but a comic, we would have to address it. | ||
Right. | ||
We would have to go, I have to go fix this. | ||
Right. | ||
Solve it, fix it. | ||
You want them to know that you know, like you don't want it to be this weird kind of thing. | ||
Well, some people, you have to leave it weird. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because it never ends. | ||
Some people, they're just perpetually... | ||
But you don't think you would ever just eventually be like, y'all are at a dinner somewhere and you're like, I don't like your slippers. | ||
He's like, in seven months? | ||
And they're like, what? | ||
Some people are just fucking super sensitive, man. | ||
They just can't take joking around and they don't joke around in their home. | ||
I tend to want to go try to open that person up. | ||
And I'm not saying to take jokes, but I would tend to side with that person then. | ||
Right. | ||
Like you end up going like, all right, if this person doesn't like this, then I'll be on her team. | ||
And if someone goes at her or him, I'll be on their team. | ||
Right. | ||
You'll be the person who fucks with the other person. | ||
Yes. | ||
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Yes. | |
So you want to make them, because if you're like, I know that they're going to be uncomfortable, I feel like as comics, you just kind of, you got to go to the underdog. | ||
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Right. | |
And you go like, I'll be on, I'll side with you. | ||
Right, right. | ||
Just because every, you're going to get teamed up on. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And so I'll just be on your, you know, let's do it. | ||
Let's make it, let's make it uncomfortable for everybody. | ||
Well, it's also so many people have been told that their feelings are valid, and it's important to validate someone's feelings. | ||
But some feelings are stupid. | ||
Some of your oversensitivity is just ridiculous. | ||
Well, people are like, yeah, being very open. | ||
You know, it's like, you got to talk about this stuff. | ||
It is, some of it's weird where you're like, I don't, I'll just, I'll just eat it up on the inside. | ||
I don't need to go. | ||
I don't need to go openly talk about stuff. | ||
And you're like, I'll just move on. | ||
Do you have to go on double dates sometimes? | ||
Yeah, but I mean, I'm friends with everybody that goes. | ||
It's not like set up. | ||
Your wife doesn't ever say, you need to meet so-and-so's husband. | ||
We'll all go on a double date. | ||
And then you go, and he's just boring as fuck. | ||
And your wife winds up talking to her friend, and you wind up talking to this husband. | ||
You're like, oh, no. | ||
And you're just stuck talking to this dude. | ||
They're talking about purses and shit, and you're just stuck talking to this dude about nonsense. | ||
And you're like, oh, no. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's... | ||
I have had that happen. | ||
And then... | ||
But it's like, if you can't find one thing to connect with them... | ||
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Right. | |
Like, where you're sitting there, like, you know, it's like sports. | ||
And then you're like, all right, no sports. | ||
And then you're like, what about the... | ||
And you're just trying to... | ||
And you're like, dude, I'm a comedian. | ||
I can talk about anything. | ||
Right. | ||
If I can't find... | ||
If you don't... | ||
If you're not giving me anything... | ||
Right. | ||
Maybe talk about that to them. | ||
To go, why? | ||
What are... | ||
What is your problem? | ||
And they go... | ||
That's what... | ||
How come I can't talk to you? | ||
Do you ever hear that from people, dude? | ||
Maybe it's you, bro. | ||
Maybe it's you. | ||
I want to open you up, dude. | ||
If you take it to that... | ||
I want you to spend the night tonight. | ||
Go that far. | ||
But then you can be pleasantly surprised, you know? | ||
Oh, when a dude's the best? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you're like, well, you're the greatest thing I've ever been. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, there's nothing better than that. | ||
It's hard to make friends as an adult. | ||
Well, that's like Dr. Phil's son. | ||
Dr. Phil's son is married to one of my wife's friends. | ||
And I was like, I'll meet this fucking dude. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's probably going to be some crazy Hollywood guy. | ||
Normalest guy ever. | ||
It's very satisfying when it's like that because it's you know I've learned you know like you end up you starting to meet like you meet famous people or you and like you so you start thinking about you like dude this is gonna be a whole thing like I got a you know yeah you're great like all you know and you just end up sometimes being like I would rather just not meet them Because I just don't want to... | ||
It's just going to be a lot. | ||
But then you can meet some and they pleasantly surprise you. | ||
It's the best. | ||
It's worth the risk. | ||
I've met some famous people and it's weird when you meet them. | ||
You're uncomfortable. | ||
You feel strange. | ||
And then you go... | ||
Oh, you're just a person. | ||
You're just a person like me. | ||
You're just a movie star. | ||
Like Matthew McConaughey is a great example. | ||
I've had dinner with Matthew McConaughey and his wife and my wife, and he's so nice. | ||
He's so interesting, and he's so genuine, like a genuine guy. | ||
And I'm like, oh, you're fucking just a super movie star, famous guy, but you're fucking a regular guy underneath all that craziness. | ||
See, I wish that would get out more. | ||
Like, some of those, the stars is like, it needs to be, people need to be like, yeah, dude, we're just hanging out. | ||
He's done podcasts before he's done- Yeah, he seems like that. | ||
I'm not saying, you know. | ||
Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. is another one. | ||
Fucking great guy, man. | ||
You sit and talk to him. | ||
Robert Downey Jr. is interesting, too, because that's a guy who went to jail. | ||
He had a serious drug problem. | ||
Got arrested, did time, and did a couple of years. | ||
And got out of jail and is just on the path now. | ||
He's fucking Iron Man. | ||
He's got his shit together. | ||
He's super successful, very disciplined, does martial arts, eats well, is healthy. | ||
And it's just like, you know, they exist. | ||
They're just humans. | ||
And that's the problem with lofty positions, like positions of extreme adulation, like we were talking about with Ellen. | ||
You can get lost in that when you're not like anybody else. | ||
You're this island all alone. | ||
You see how it can happen. | ||
Like you see it like like us going on the road. | ||
You're not in a reality, right? | ||
Like you can tell Sometimes you go to venues and you can see, I feel like you walk by people that work there and they're not looking at you and you're like, did someone tell you not to look at you? | ||
This is insane. | ||
I've never said anything. | ||
You go talk to everybody because you're like, yeah, we're all working tonight. | ||
I get the idea of me being on stage. | ||
But you can feel that sometimes you're here, it's like, yeah, they don't... | ||
Like, I don't know, you can see someone, if you have a conversation with someone, you don't, like, they can just, like, ignore them. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, if someone gets to me, you're like, how do you even feel? | ||
How do you feel like that? | ||
How are you doing that? | ||
How do you just go, that person doesn't exist. | ||
Right. | ||
And they're like, well, they just said something. | ||
You don't look and go, like, oh, yeah. | ||
You don't try to, like, even if you don't, you just get out of the conversation, like, have that awkward moment. | ||
Yeah, Dan Soder told a story on the podcast about doing that at a comedy club, and Chris Rock completely ignored him. | ||
And he was like, fuck that guy. | ||
And he just got up like, fuck you. | ||
And he got up from the table and walked away. | ||
And now, you talk to Dan Soder, he's like, fuck Chris Rock. | ||
Oh, he does. | ||
Dan Soder's my best friend. | ||
He's great. | ||
He's great. | ||
I fucking love that dude. | ||
He's great. | ||
But genuine. | ||
He's right there. | ||
He's that dude. | ||
He's that dude. | ||
I know his mom, Trish. | ||
He's... | ||
The best. | ||
But that's that thing where someone who is at a higher echelon of success will only associate with people that are in that range or that he thinks should associate with him. | ||
He's never been like that with me. | ||
I don't know what Chris is like with other people. | ||
I've been around him. | ||
I told Dan. | ||
Dan knows about it. | ||
I like Chris. | ||
He probably had an awkward moment. | ||
Well, I understand you can meet people in different kinds of... | ||
There was a time I didn't like Louis C.G. I thought he was mean to me at Caroline's. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I opened for him at Caroline's a long time ago. | ||
He was Louis, and he was doing a charity thing for his kids. | ||
And I remember I did a joke. | ||
I'm opening for him. | ||
I do 15 to 10 minutes or whatever, and then I bring him up, and then I said a joke. | ||
And I think he made fun of my joke when I got off. | ||
And I mean, it was like in the moment just being a young comic and being like, dude, they're all here. | ||
You're famous. | ||
I'm just like, I'm nobody. | ||
Like, who cares? | ||
Like, about my joke. | ||
And then, it was like, that was annoying to me, and I would be real mad about him. | ||
Then I talked to him much later, and it was like, oh, this guy, he was different and nicer. | ||
And then, it's like, now I've talked to him, and it's like, well, he's better. | ||
Or, I mean, maybe he's gotten worse than others. | ||
But my personal relationship with him. | ||
You're successful now. | ||
Yes. | ||
Like, you're established. | ||
That's true. | ||
Because some of that becomes where you're like... | ||
Yeah, I don't know. | ||
What's he supposed to do? | ||
Well, there's that awkward moment when you first meet someone where you don't know if they're going to be cool. | ||
Yeah, and I can take something way more personally when I'm a younger comic and I'm so sensitive to everything at that moment. | ||
So I couldn't even tell you if I really think back on it. | ||
What does it really matter? | ||
It could have been like he's making a joke and he's just busting and we're just like, we're having fun times. | ||
But I take it as like, are you kidding me? | ||
I've been running my whole life to do this. | ||
It's also like he's so important. | ||
So if he makes fun of you, if you go on stage and Jamie Foxx is on after you and he makes fun of you, like, no. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
No. | ||
And Jamie's like, I'm just a comic, dude. | ||
I'm just like, yeah, I followed you, you were, you murdered, and like, so I just made a joke about it, and then I moved on. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you just take it, like, oh no. | ||
Because you're not friends with them, so you don't, you can't trust it. | ||
Right. | ||
With, yeah, with, uh, I've opened for Chris, and I went on the road with Chris, so it's, I know Soder's, and I, I, and I, but I understand where Soder's coming from. | ||
That's like one of those, you're like, yeah, dude, I would probably feel the, I mean, I felt the same way with Louis, I would feel the same way Soder feels. | ||
Right. | ||
And then I've been around Chris where you're like, I don't feel that. | ||
And I feel like he's a comic that wants to hang out. | ||
And like, I think he's a dude, that dude's been famous for so long too, that like, if you're in a circle, I think he's like one of the best, if not the best ever. | ||
Well, 100% one of the best ever. | ||
If you go back and watch Bigger and Blacker, you know, you go back and watch Bring the Pain, those are fucking classic specials. | ||
They're as good as anybody's ever done. | ||
Those are two absolute rock-solid, classic, all-time great stand-up comedy specials. | ||
Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
Undeniably. | ||
But I liked it because that was like when you were saying something and it was in the form of jokes. | ||
So you're saying these big points and it's done in the form, it's rapid boom, boom, boom. | ||
That's why to me... | ||
Like, it's like he is just... | ||
It's another planet. | ||
Like, I mean, he's pacing the stage. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You can see him, like, even, like, he was on Letterman. | ||
Like, the Letterman stuff with the women. | ||
And he went on Letterman and, like, he's like, what are you doing with these girls? | ||
And, like, starts yelling. | ||
Like, when Letterman got in trouble, the cheating on his wife or all that stuff. | ||
Did he get in trouble, right? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Like, a long time ago. | ||
And Chris went on and... | ||
And Chris was a guest and just talked about it. | ||
I think it... | ||
Saved Letterman because it was just being talked about in the open. | ||
Right, right. | ||
And he went in and I was like with Chris you can see like he gets like a zone in his eyes where you can just tell like he's not really looking at anybody. | ||
It's just like comedy. | ||
Yeah, it's comedy. | ||
He's in the groove. | ||
He's in the groove of just, you know, if an elephant walked in front of him, he would be like, I never saw it. | ||
Like, it's just, his eyes are just like, you know, just pacing. | ||
He's really funny again right now. | ||
That's what I've heard. | ||
I want to go see it. | ||
I saw him at the store before the whole Will Smith thing, and he was working out his material. | ||
He was fucking good, man. | ||
He was really good, like classic Chris Rock shit. | ||
Because, you know, went through a hard divorce, lost a shitload of money, and it was a lot of pain, and then came out of it. | ||
And then on the other side of it, it's like, he's really good right now. | ||
Yeah, I heard someone told me about his hour now. | ||
They heard it's great. | ||
Yeah, I first heard from my friend Eddie Bravo. | ||
He saw him at the store and he texted me. | ||
He goes, brother, this guy is on fire right now. | ||
He goes, he's so good right now. | ||
I go, really? | ||
He goes, you got to see him. | ||
And then I was there like a week later and I got a chance to watch the set. | ||
It's nice to see. | ||
There's always that drop-off point with a lot of great comics. | ||
They'll have a couple really good specials, and then they'll have one that's not that good, and then they'll have another one that's not that good, and you're like, ooh, is he falling off? | ||
I feel like you need to be an underdog. | ||
You want to have people doubt you. | ||
Right. | ||
And that's the whole beginning of comedy, is you go on stage and this crowd doubts you. | ||
So your first time on stage, Is talking to 20 people that don't think you can do this. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
So every time you go on stage is just proving something. | ||
Right. | ||
And then maybe you get too big to a point to where now they're there. | ||
And if you're not aware of it, like they said, like the self-audit, or if you're constantly just reminding yourself that you're not, like, almost like you're on stage, you're like, dude, I'm nobody. | ||
I'm an idiot. | ||
I don't think I know how to do comedy. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
To be honest, like you think that all, you know, like once you tape an hour, you're like, I don't know how I could ever do it ever again. | ||
I should quit, honestly, and get a regular job and probably is going to happen. | ||
Like you just this panic of just all this stuff. | ||
And so if you don't have that, then you can kind of get lost. | ||
And then you're like, And that's when I think specials can get bad. | ||
You're just cramming them out. | ||
And you're like, oh, you may do one. | ||
I'll do it tomorrow. | ||
I'll go. | ||
And you just are pounding them out. | ||
And then you need that back to like, and almost like with, not saying Chris was at that point, but like the resurgence of now he's a true, he had that happen at the Oscars. | ||
So now everybody's going to be like expecting a lot from him. | ||
If he comes and does something whatever, it's like, I mean, it's not, there's no payback, there's no nothing. | ||
It's like, oh, dude, who cares? | ||
But if he comes back with his next special, and it's what I'm hearing it's supposed to be, it's going to be... | ||
It's right back where he was at his best. | ||
Oh. | ||
When I saw him, he was killing. | ||
I mean, killing. | ||
And, you know, it was a drop-in set. | ||
It wasn't, you know, it wasn't announced. | ||
You gotta find that, I think, you gotta find that motivation. | ||
Yes. | ||
The motivation that makes you, you know, Sinbad said that, I remember reading a book, and he's talking about, he's like, it's hard to go, you ride, he was riding Greyhound buses to shows. | ||
And so Sinbad's, like, laughing with the bus driver, I mean, he's just, like, the most funny you could be, and you're in limos. | ||
Or something and then everything kind of changes and you lose that that hang where you lose that Perspective of like that kind of outside world and you think like well I walked to my show and my coffee wasn't Where I thought it was gonna be and then and you're like well, that's someone's job You're like you're like do you go? | ||
Well, all I do is ask for that to be right there. | ||
I don't think that's crazy Am I being crazy saying that I would like my coffee? | ||
Right on that stool when I walk past it, you know, and you don't go, what? | ||
You're like, no, go get it, dude. | ||
It's across the street. | ||
There's a Starbucks. | ||
Walk over there and go grab whatever you want to grab. | ||
And you're like, but I don't, but people recognize me and stuff. | ||
You're like, no one's going to recognize me. | ||
Just go over there and go do your dumb thing. | ||
And like bring yourself back to like some kind of reality to go like, all right. | ||
You get insulated. | ||
You get insulated. | ||
Yeah, and when you're Chris Rock, how do you not get insulated? | ||
Everywhere you go, everybody says, oh, that's Chris Rock. | ||
Well, I mean, you're going to have that. | ||
You have that now. | ||
Like, with everywhere you go, it's obvious that you're going to, you know... | ||
Yeah, but for whatever reason, I'm comfortable with it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
In some weird way. | ||
Well, I think you're very open. | ||
So it's also the Chris Rocker. | ||
Before social media, now you're on a podcast so everybody knows everything. | ||
And you're talking about everything. | ||
And people know your persona and they know the way you say stuff and all this stuff. | ||
But a lot of those celebrities, those guys, you didn't know who they were. | ||
Like Tom Cruise, that's why I liked celebrities being... | ||
The old way was like, the only time you saw Tom Cruise was a movie. | ||
Right. | ||
And I mean, you still don't, I don't know if he's on, I don't think he's on social media. | ||
But then you're like, some of these like, you know, you see people and you're like, yeah, I shouldn't be like watching this guy go to the grocery store. | ||
Like he's, you know, maybe Tom Hanks or like there's just talking to you on Instagram. | ||
You're like, yeah, go be Tom Hanks, dude. | ||
I don't want to know what you're doing. | ||
I want you to be this kind of like, I see you at this movie and then I don't see you for three years. | ||
And sometimes they step out of that and it ruins it. | ||
It ruins it. | ||
Remember when Tom Cruise went on, was it Good Morning America? | ||
Oprah. | ||
No, no, no, no. | ||
It was Good Morning America with, what the fuck's his name? | ||
Matt Lauer. | ||
unidentified
|
Today Show. | |
Oh, yeah. | ||
Today Show? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Today Show with Matt Lauer. | ||
And he was talking about Brooke Shields and psychiatric medication. | ||
And he was saying that it's not a chemical imbalance. | ||
These drugs are dangerous, these psychiatric drugs. | ||
And it almost ruined his fucking career, because everybody's like, listen to this loon. | ||
What the fuck is he saying? | ||
And you're like, I just want to watch you in Top Gun. | ||
Yeah, just go back to doing Mission Impossible, brother. | ||
That's why entertainers, it's going back to be entertainment. | ||
Go be the entertainment. | ||
It's like, don't... | ||
There's a mix, right? | ||
I'm not saying everything has to be entertainment, but everything can't be a message. | ||
You have to have that balance, and you've got to make movies that are going to be an escape and go be fun. | ||
And, you know, I think it's like, we were talking a little bit last, it's like some of these guys, these celebrities or these people in movies, you're like, they're in every movie. | ||
There's like 12 of them. | ||
And you're like, I mean, is there no one else? | ||
Is there no one else to make a movie? | ||
But if you want to make a movie and you want it to be really successful, you've got to get one of those guys. | ||
But those guys weren't those guys back when they were at the beginning. | ||
Right, but if you're bankrolling a movie, the problem is if you're Miramax and you're bankrolling a movie, you need Brad Pitt. | ||
I know, but they had to go find original talent a long time ago. | ||
You can't go do that? | ||
But if you go see Tom Cruise, it's going to be a blockbuster. | ||
People will automatically go see a Tom Cruise movie. | ||
He's a proven, bona fide guy. | ||
If he's in a film, you're going to go see it. | ||
Yeah, I saw it. | ||
But if he's doing that, that's what funds how to build the next generation of stars? | ||
Yeah, but the next generation of stars are like his co-star. | ||
He always has unknown co-stars, and they wind up being big, successful movie stars. | ||
Are they becoming big stars? | ||
The co-stars? | ||
Sure. | ||
What's that girl's name? | ||
Anna DeArmas? | ||
She's getting huge now. | ||
She was like co-stars and things. | ||
She was always like this co-star. | ||
Now she's Marilyn Monroe and she's doing all this other shit. | ||
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. | ||
I don't think you know what you're talking about. | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
I have some good ideas, Joe. | ||
You have this idea. | ||
We were pushing it last night that they should just retire. | ||
It didn't work last night. | ||
I thought, let me try it in front of millions of people. | ||
Clint Eastwood's 150,000 years old and he's still doing movies. | ||
Yeah, but I just... | ||
They're doing a lot. | ||
I know, but they keep going... | ||
It's like every, they're in everything, dude. | ||
You're like, it's the same dudes. | ||
I'm not talking about Tom Cruise. | ||
I mean, Tom Hanks is in everything. | ||
He's in everything. | ||
And you're like, don't, like, Daniel Day-Lewis. | ||
I don't know what that guy, if he's alive anymore. | ||
Like, that guy just goes off the planet. | ||
Yeah, he stops doing films and he works as a cobbler. | ||
Yeah, that's... | ||
He makes shoes. | ||
Isn't there something great about that? | ||
Yes, there's something great about that. | ||
But what if you love acting? | ||
And you want to go back and do it. | ||
I mean, the thing is, like, we're looking at it... | ||
Are they making stars? | ||
Like, that's what I... It's like, I don't think the people are getting out of the way, is what I'm saying. | ||
I don't think people get out of the way. | ||
I don't think they have their job. | ||
Like, you're talking about, like, someone being the next... | ||
If they want to be the next Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy... | ||
Whatever they want to go be. | ||
Like, someone that, like... | ||
Not saying they have to get out of the way now, but you're like... | ||
Or do people get out of the way? | ||
But why would they get out of the way? | ||
But why are you looking at it that way? | ||
Why aren't they just doing what they do? | ||
And other people do what they do. | ||
There's a lot of movies being made. | ||
I don't think it's like a get out of the way thing. | ||
I don't feel like they're mainstream though. | ||
I think mainstream stuff is not getting... | ||
Yeah, but the mainstream stuff has to be funded. | ||
It's a business. | ||
And this is like, John Leguizamo made a post on Instagram the other day where he was talking about James Franco, because James Franco's playing Fidel Castro. | ||
And he's saying he shouldn't be playing someone who's Latin American. | ||
He's not Latin American. | ||
And then, you know, there was people that were upset and said, actually, he's half Portuguese, that's technically Latin. | ||
And he's like, no, we're talking about people from Latin America, like from that part of the country. | ||
And then he was saying that, People who are of Latino or Hispanic descent, they make up a certain percentage of the population, but they don't have a certain percentage of the roles. | ||
And he was saying, we should get more chances. | ||
We should have more representation. | ||
We should have more... | ||
Because white actors do a film and it bombs. | ||
They get more chances. | ||
And Latinos should get more chances. | ||
And I see what he's saying. | ||
I understand what he's saying. | ||
He's right about the representation. | ||
He's right about the percentage of people and that the films don't necessarily match up. | ||
And whenever you have, like, what was that, Encanto? | ||
That animated, it was, is that what it's called? | ||
And it was, you know, a Latino animated film. | ||
It was fantastic. | ||
It was great. | ||
And people loved it for both reasons. | ||
They loved it because it was great, and they also loved it because it represented a significant portion of the population. | ||
But if you're a person making movies, you're not thinking that. | ||
You're thinking, this is my money, and I'm trying to make money, okay? | ||
We're in the business of making money in films, and if I'm making a big-ass fucking giant movie, I need stars, and I need someone who sells. | ||
And if it's John Leguizamo that sells all the time, or if it's fucking Brad Pitt that sells all the time, whoever the fuck that guy is that sells all the time, that's what they push. | ||
They're doing it to try to make money, and because those people are really good. | ||
It's not like there's- Yeah, they're awesome. | ||
But it's not like there's anybody who keeps getting chances and they suck. | ||
Yeah, that's true. | ||
It's just not real. | ||
They fall away. | ||
Many, many famous movie stars are falling away. | ||
It's these ones that people still love. | ||
They'll go to see, like Keanu Reeves. | ||
He could do Matrix 7 and fucking John Wick 10, and people would still go to see it, right? | ||
Because they love that guy. | ||
Tom Cruise could do 100 Mission Impossibles. | ||
People are gonna go see it. | ||
They love that. | ||
I'll go see the next one. | ||
But The Rock can do the same thing. | ||
The Rock can do anything, right? | ||
It can do anything. | ||
It's about getting to that point. | ||
And I know it's not a fair business. | ||
It's a weird fucking crazy business and some people get chances and some people don't. | ||
That's part of the madness of it all that makes people so fucking nuts when they live there. | ||
It's because they know that any audition could change their life. | ||
And they go in there and these people get to decide. | ||
And here you're dealing with someone who's probably insecure in the first place. | ||
They're seeking out an exorbitant amount of attention. | ||
And they're doing it probably because they have some sort of a psychological deficit. | ||
Most of us come from some broken homes or some traumatic childhood. | ||
Most of us do. | ||
And then you're trying to prove your worth to a bunch of people that are sitting there. | ||
In this artificial environment where you're reading off of a piece of paper. | ||
It's fucking nuts. | ||
And you leave. | ||
You're like, oh, I hate myself. | ||
It's so anxiety. | ||
And it's not proactive. | ||
You can do your best in the audition and hope it works out, but you don't know what the fuck they're looking for. | ||
And your hopes and dreams are based on other people's opinions of you. | ||
And that causes people to start behaving in a way where they hope people will like them. | ||
They'll say things that they think these people want to hear. | ||
your own opinions, you become like a half person. | ||
Half of you is a real person, and half of you is like this performative shell of what you're supposed to say, what political ideas you're supposed to hold onto and to espouse, and you get this weird fucking dynamic. | ||
And some people achieve escape velocity. | ||
These Robert Downey Jr. guys, these Matthew McConaughey guys who can kind of just be separated from it and trying to live a normal life and then go in there and make these crazy fucking blockbuster movies and then get the fuck out. | ||
And there's only a few people that can do that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's just the nature of the chaos of that business. | ||
But that doesn't mean that James Franco shouldn't be able to play Fidel Castro. | ||
Yeah, I don't think that does either. | ||
I mean, it's fucking... | ||
I mean, come on. | ||
We can't do that. | ||
I see what he's saying. | ||
And maybe if there was someone else that was commensurate with James Franco, and maybe there is. | ||
Maybe there's someone else that was up for it. | ||
Doesn't he kind of look like him or something? | ||
Kind of looks like him. | ||
But if there was someone that was actually Cuban, maybe that would be a better representation in terms of how people felt. | ||
If you found out that someone was playing... | ||
I'm Italian. | ||
If we found out that someone was playing a very famous Italian, whether it was Michelangelo or something like that, and then they got some dude from Holland to do it, I guarantee you, people in my family would be like, what the fuck is that? | ||
That guy's not Italian. | ||
So I get where Leguizamo's coming from. | ||
But I just wish it wasn't like that. | ||
It just seems like... | ||
I mean, there's egregious levels of it, right? | ||
Like the most egregious is like when John Wayne played Genghis Khan. | ||
That's just ridiculous. | ||
That's not cool. | ||
But it was like, he was John Wayne. | ||
So he could play a fucking, not just a warlord, but one of the greatest warlords ever, who came from a very specific part of the world. | ||
He came from Mongolia. | ||
He looked like a Mongolian. | ||
And literally his DNA... He had sex with so many women. | ||
His DNA is like in some preposterous percentage of the Asian population. | ||
Like something wild. | ||
Like Genghis Khan's DNA and his children's DNA is in a significant percentage of the population. | ||
Like what is Genghis Khan's DNA in? | ||
Genghis Khan, there's a fantastic piece. | ||
I'm sorry I have to recommend this again, but it's that good. | ||
A fantastic piece that Dan Carlin's Hardcore History did. | ||
It's called Wrath of the Khan. | ||
It's five hours on Genghis Khan. | ||
At least five hours. | ||
Listen to this. | ||
Since 2003, a study found evidence that Genghis Khan's DNA is present in about 16 million men alive today. | ||
The Mongolian ruler's genetic prowess has stood as an unparalleled accomplishment. | ||
But he isn't the only man whose reproductive activities still show a significant genetic impact centuries later. | ||
So there's other men that have two, but 10 other men who left genetic... | ||
Let's see who the 10 dudes who spread their seed the best. | ||
It's like Will Chamberlain. | ||
Like, it's random. | ||
Who is it? | ||
Who are the people? | ||
Genghis Khan. | ||
What do we got? | ||
It's not a list? | ||
Oh, this is just another Genghis Khan article? | ||
Oh, it just says 10 other men. | ||
So anyway, Genghis Khan, to have a white guy, John Wayne, hey, I'm Genghis Khan, it is so ridiculous. | ||
Have you ever watched it? | ||
No. | ||
You need to watch a clip right now. | ||
We need to show you a clip right now. | ||
Because this is the best argument against cultural appropriation. | ||
Like when you look at James Franco, you look at Fidel Castro, Portuguese versus Cuban, it's not that crazy, right? | ||
It's not that crazy. | ||
Yeah, and he's a great actor, and you're like, that's good enough. | ||
But if you look at John Wayne as Genghis Khan, you're like, fuck no. | ||
If I was Mongolian, I'd be furious. | ||
I'd be furious. | ||
That's people trying to get their money back. | ||
We have a few Mongolian fighters in the UFC, and they're particularly furious. | ||
They're fucking awesome fighters. | ||
That's a hard part of the world. | ||
unidentified
|
So for John Wayne, you gotta see how corny this shit is. | |
Susan Hayward. | ||
Like, look at her. | ||
She was hot. | ||
That was back when women were just hot. | ||
No exercise, no good diet, cigarettes, alcohol. | ||
Hot as fuck. | ||
Nobody took care of themselves. | ||
They were just hot. | ||
They were hot for about 10 years. | ||
Look at this. | ||
It's so sexist. | ||
Listen to them. | ||
Look at this. | ||
unidentified
|
Temujin. | |
Under his heel, the cowering nations. | ||
In his arms, the unconquered woman. | ||
This is the trailer. | ||
Yeah, yeah, play it. | ||
I don't know if it has to talk. | ||
Play it. | ||
He's gonna talk. | ||
Let it go. | ||
This is so corny. | ||
unidentified
|
Before that day dawns, Mongol, the vultures will feast it on your heart. | |
Oh, this is... | ||
This is... | ||
This is... | ||
This is so bad! | ||
Yeah. - She gets slapped again. | ||
How about the music? | ||
I am tempted, woman. | ||
I am tempted, woman. | ||
I mean, this is fucking amazing. | ||
This is the trailer? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Scene after scene of unimaginable splendor. | ||
Barbaric passions. | ||
How corny is this? | ||
Savage conquest. | ||
But the thing is, man, why would we have such a realistic depiction of these things today when they weren't willing to do it in the 1960s? | ||
Why? | ||
Why did they have a bullshit version of history that they were putting in a film? | ||
When we today would never accept that version. | ||
Like, if they tried to tell that as Genghis Khan's story today, people would go, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
That's not how it went. | ||
You can't have them behave like they're in a play. | ||
Well, because you have internet. | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
Yeah. | ||
How many people knew in 1956 what he looked like or anything, really? | ||
Right, but there had to be some historians that were consulted. | ||
I don't think in Hollywood back then... | ||
You only had the encyclopedia, really, for the longest time. | ||
Okay, but how do they know so much now, then? | ||
Like, how do... | ||
They must have known. | ||
Someone typed all of it in on the internet. | ||
It's not as if... | ||
Right, but, I mean, there has to be... | ||
You know, like, have you ever... | ||
Is there a thing you do, like, do you play guitar or anything like that, where you watch someone faking it on TV? Oh. | ||
It drives people nuts, right? | ||
You're a musician. | ||
You can play some music. | ||
Okay, like playing golf. | ||
You play golf. | ||
You play golf a lot. | ||
Jamie has a really good golf swing, and it's very impressive. | ||
If you watch someone who did not have a really good golf swing, and everyone was pretending he has a really good golf swing, he'd be like... | ||
It'd be very obvious. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Sure. | ||
But still, there's got to be a time period, maybe in the, I don't know, 70s, 80s, when they found a whole treasure trove of information. | ||
Like, guess what? | ||
You have to rewrite the history books on... | ||
I wonder when they did learn all that stuff, though. | ||
Because it's just... | ||
I was saying historians watching that, my analogy was, that historians watching that would be furious. | ||
They're like, this is ridiculous. | ||
Like, the people that actually know. | ||
But you could make a film where it was accurate, because the real story was so fucking crazy that you can make a depiction that would be terrifying. | ||
The absolute 100% proven real story was that guy killed 10% of the population. | ||
10%. | ||
They do a carbon, where they do like soil samples? | ||
Yeah. | ||
They find out that during that time, the carbon level, like people burning fires, decreased at a significant measurable percentage because there was less humans. | ||
That's wild. | ||
They said he killed, they think they killed somewhere between 50 and 70 million people during his lifetime. | ||
Yeah, if you knew that and make that movie, it's a little different. | ||
Dude, they were lighting corpses on fire and launching them with catapults onto people's houses to burn them down. | ||
When they would siege a city, they would stay outside of the city for as long as it took. | ||
For as long as it took, they would camp outside the city. | ||
Thousands and thousands of Mongolians, just ready to kill. | ||
And they were gonna get in eventually. | ||
And everyone knew they were gonna get in eventually. | ||
It's like, how much food do you have? | ||
How long can you wait? | ||
And they would keep bringing supply chains so they would always have food. | ||
And they would just launch bodies. | ||
Then they would capture people who fleed, and they would take those people and put them on the front of the line and march them forward like a human shield. | ||
And that's how they would get into some of the castles. | ||
That's how they would get into some of the cities. | ||
Maybe they didn't... | ||
I feel like back then, talking about the movie... | ||
They had to know that, though. | ||
How do people know that now? | ||
But they were selling a story back then. | ||
I know. | ||
Back then, it's about the art, versus now would be because there's documentaries and there's all these other things. | ||
Now, it's got to be like, well, that's not really what happened. | ||
Is that what it is, or did they just not know how to do it? | ||
The way that we appreciate it now. | ||
But even the way they tell a story, if you had those same cameras, if you had actors and screenwriters of today, they would make something better than that. | ||
Yeah, I mean, it's somewhat a new art form. | ||
Yeah, it's a new art form. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
I'm not judging it in a negative way, like saying it sucks because at the time it was probably awesome. | ||
Oh, it was crazy. | ||
But the world has changed so much that if you wanted to have a Genghis Khan movie, first of all, you'd have to have a Mongolian guy play Genghis Khan. | ||
You'd find some unknown actor. | ||
I'm sure they're out there. | ||
He's James Franco again. | ||
He does good with this. | ||
They go, I'll be honest, you want to go with James Franco? | ||
unidentified
|
He just does. | |
Weren't war movies probably, this is something I don't know, I'm trying to make a guess, like Apocalypse Now, around then, that probably changed a lot of the filmmaking then, but we have to be more historically accurate now. | ||
I think that's way earlier than Apocalypse Now. | ||
No, it is. | ||
Wasn't that like 77-ish? | ||
Well, Apocalypse Now was like a six or seven year film shoot. | ||
So it's like 20 years. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
20 year gap between those two movies we're talking about. | ||
Lawrence Fishburne was like 16 when he was in Apocalypse Now. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Isn't that wild? | ||
That's crazy. | ||
They did that film for, yeah, they did it for, I think it was something really crazy. | ||
Like it was at least five years to film that. | ||
Went way over budget. | ||
Marlon Brando gained weight. | ||
And he didn't want to lose weight, so they filmed him in the dark. | ||
So it's just like, he had like a dark robot, and you just see his face. | ||
And part of the lines they kept in the film, I'm pretty sure he improvised. | ||
I guess he was like... | ||
I don't know if I know much about Marlon Brando, but that was a guy... | ||
I mean, that guy is so famous. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
Especially then, when there's... | ||
Your competition is only... | ||
It's whatever is on the screen. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's why, could there be stars? | ||
You think stars could, like that superstardom could kind of go away with the fact there's just, the competition is too much. | ||
You can have people that are like, I'm just not even into movies. | ||
And then they watch, and then you can go watch videos all day, like YouTube videos. | ||
And then you're like, I don't even, and you have no concept of... | ||
This guy's the biggest star. | ||
You know, when you think about celebrities now, I can't even tell if it's older. | ||
Not celebrities, but actors and all this stuff. | ||
Where you're like, that person, they say, that's the most famous person ever. | ||
And you're like, I've never even heard of him. | ||
There's so many people now, though, in terms of famous people. | ||
There's way more famous people. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So that superstardom is like, can it, you know, to sustain it. | ||
People will forget real quick. | ||
Real quick. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, do you remember Brendan Fraser? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That guy was a huge movie star. | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
You don't see him in shit anymore. | ||
I mean, I think he's doing a comeback in some movie where he gets really overweight. | ||
Some movie about some morbidly obese guy. | ||
And I think he actually gained a lot of weight to play the role. | ||
And he's in something else, too. | ||
But the point is, that guy was a giant fucking movie star. | ||
He was. | ||
Yes. | ||
Giant. | ||
I mean, he was huge. | ||
He was in a lot of shit. | ||
He was in The Mummy. | ||
unidentified
|
Remember that? | |
The Mummy, yeah. | ||
He had a really hard run. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
Is that real? | ||
Or is that really what he looks like? | ||
The film is called The Whale, so I believe that's what it... | ||
Oh, you mean like CGI? Yeah, is that CGI? I don't think he got that big. | ||
Or a fat suit or something. | ||
I think he got a little big. | ||
Well, this is a different movie. | ||
This is a TV show. | ||
Oh, it's a different movie. | ||
And that says The Whale. | ||
Oh, so that is what he looks like now. | ||
Wow. | ||
Maybe he'll come back as like the best fat actor ever. | ||
That kind of looks a little extra. | ||
Well, he's at least a good... | ||
I mean, he's a legit actor. | ||
Yeah, he's a legit actor. | ||
The point is like that guy... | ||
The Mummy was great. | ||
That was a fun fucking movie. | ||
He was great in a lot of movies. | ||
And Xeno Man. | ||
Yeah, he was great in a lot of movies. | ||
Fun movies. | ||
It can go away. | ||
It can go away. | ||
But now it's like it's... | ||
Marlon Brando wanted it to go away. | ||
He bought a fucking island. | ||
He had a bunch of Native Americans accept his Academy Award for him. | ||
Remember that? | ||
Did you ever see that? | ||
I didn't know. | ||
You should show that. | ||
He had this Native American woman accept his Academy Award. | ||
unidentified
|
He was just out of the business. | |
Just wanted to be done. | ||
Well, he was a wild, wild fellow. | ||
Put that on. | ||
Yeah, that's it, man. | ||
Here it is. | ||
So it's Roger Moore. | ||
And I don't know who the woman is. | ||
unidentified
|
Marlon Brando and the Godfather. | |
So this is for the fucking Godfather, okay? | ||
And so instead of him... | ||
unidentified
|
...for Marlon Brando and the Godfather is Shashin Littlefeathers. | |
Shashin Littlefeathers. | ||
unidentified
|
I hope I said it right. | |
She's going to accept as a woman. | ||
Look at this. | ||
She doesn't want the awards. | ||
Hello. | ||
My name is Sachin Littlefeather. | ||
I'm Apache, and I am president of the National Native American Affirmative Image Committee. | ||
I'm representing Marlon Brando this evening, and he has asked me to tell you in a very long speech, which I cannot share with you presently because of time, but I will be glad to share with the press afterwards, that he very regretfully cannot accept This very generous award. | ||
And the reasons for this being are the treatment of American Indians today by the film industry. | ||
Excuse me. | ||
And on television, in movie reruns, and also with recent happenings at Wounded Knee. | ||
I beg at this time that I have not intruded upon this evening and that we will in the future our hearts and our understandings will meet with love and generosity. | ||
Thank you on behalf of Marlon Brando. | ||
unidentified
|
That's heavy. | |
I mean, she'd get a... | ||
She'd have had a 40-minute standing ovation. | ||
Like, think about... | ||
They booed her, too, though. | ||
Did you hear that? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
But think about it now. | ||
Like, that's... | ||
It would be... | ||
Yeah. | ||
That is crazy, because they did... | ||
They booed her, which felt like the... | ||
The more mood of the crowd and the people taking the chances with the people clapping. | ||
That was agents, guaranteed. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That was some William Morris agents. | ||
unidentified
|
Boo! | |
Fuck you! | ||
I'm doing coke. | ||
Here we go. | ||
Some guy doing coke who just wanted the fucking award show to be over. | ||
And a godfather. | ||
I mean, to be that big of an award. | ||
I know. | ||
The biggest. | ||
It's one of the biggest movies ever. | ||
It's one of the most classic films of all time. | ||
1973. Yeah, so, you know, this Leguizamo thing, I just want to say, I think John Leguizamo is awesome. | ||
I love him in everything. | ||
He's great in everything. | ||
It's not a knock on him. | ||
It's just, I just wish that wasn't an issue, but I get it. | ||
I do get it. | ||
I do get how you, I mean, after what looking like, especially the Marlon Brando, I mean, the John Wayne Genghis Khan thing, it's like fucking so preposterous. | ||
It's just one of those things, it's just like, that business is fucking nuts. | ||
It is nuts. | ||
Spending hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
Do you know they just scrapped, they made a Batgirl movie and just scrapped it? | ||
Just threw it away, right? | ||
They decided they're not going to release it? | ||
Why would they not just release it? | ||
How do you get to the point where you go, I'd rather lose the money? | ||
The argument was that it was made for streaming when everything started headed towards just streaming, and now that they're back towards theatrical releases, maybe they think it won't make the money, so they're not going to put it out. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
It won't make the money so they're not going to put it out? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't get their logic. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Is that that coffee? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Count some coffee, son. | ||
Sorry. | ||
Yeah, I mean, why would they do that? | ||
Why wouldn't they just... | ||
Like, try to get it back. | ||
I don't know why. | ||
unidentified
|
Unless it really sucks. | |
But yeah, then go sell it to streamers. | ||
I hope it doesn't really suck. | ||
Hollywood's got a whole business of just, you've got all this stuff that's not ever seen the light of day, that if you put it out as kind of like no pressure, These pilots, these movies, I don't know. | ||
And people would go crazy about that. | ||
Well, they must have thought that they could redo it. | ||
That's the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
To have one shot at making this awesome Batgirl movie, they want to really nail it, so let's try it again. | ||
Maybe that's it. | ||
Because you've got to realize, those are billion dollar franchises. | ||
If you get a Batman franchise or an Avengers franchise, those are fucking guaranteed blockbusters. | ||
I'm there. | ||
I'm there for Avengers. | ||
When Avengers come out, I watch all those. | ||
I fucking love them. | ||
Warner Brothers cuts its losses by axing $90 million Batgirl movie. | ||
They spent $90 million and they're just going to toss it? | ||
HBO Max went to Disney. | ||
But what if they had like some fucking wizard, some like the cleaner from Pulp Fiction come in and explain things to them? | ||
Like isn't it gonna all be, like where do you think entertainment will be with, you got Amazon, you got Disney Plus, I mean, is it gonna just be like you have those, and then you're just picking a la carte? | ||
Like, if you want a series, you're following, I guess, a person? | ||
I think the future is like a substack-type situation, where you subscribe to individual things that you want. | ||
I think it's gonna be more like that. | ||
And it'll have to be more reasonable. | ||
I mean, I think that makes a lot of sense. | ||
But I think, if I was a big corporation, I would do exactly what they're doing. | ||
I mean, for their bottom line, just buy up everything, you know? | ||
Like, didn't Disney just buy HBO? Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
So, like, they own everything. | ||
They own ESPN. Yeah. | ||
They own a lot of shit. | ||
And, you know, there's a lot of companies that do that. | ||
And it makes sense to me, I mean, if I was a company, but as, you know, someone who put stuff out, if I was a guy who made movies, I'd be a little concerned. | ||
I'd be like, wow, there's less people to bargain with. | ||
How many people are making movies? | ||
What if it becomes just two giant movie studios? | ||
That's it. | ||
It's the only place you can get your movie made. | ||
There's a show called The Chosen. | ||
You heard of that? | ||
No. | ||
It's about Jesus, the life of Christ. | ||
The guys that... | ||
I met the guys that did this. | ||
They were... | ||
This studio, I believe, was behind... | ||
You know Dry Bar Comedy? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
It was clean. | ||
It was all clean, and they've been on Facebook. | ||
But this Chosen's that they made has got... | ||
It's like through the roof how many people have watched this show. | ||
What is it about? | ||
Christ. | ||
I think it's through the perspective of the people. | ||
Most things are through Jesus' perspective, and this is through the people around theirs' perspective. | ||
I don't know a ton. | ||
I've only seen a little. | ||
I haven't got to watch the whole thing. | ||
But it's got the views of it. | ||
I think you can buy it on Amazon now. | ||
They just made their own app. | ||
And so they just went and they made an app called The Chosen, and you went to that app, and you watched that show. | ||
And I believe it got, I mean, millions upon millions of views. | ||
And it's a series, and it was a very, they did all the ad behind it, they did all the, very word of mouth, very, but I think the ads and all that stuff behind it, and they just started this, they're just like, that's their thing, The Chosen. | ||
And then it was an app, and you go watch that show there. | ||
That's wild. | ||
Do you think that speaks to an opportunity for anyone to do that with any kind of film? | ||
Or do you think that speaks to the lack of representation of Christian films? | ||
I mean, that helps, but I think anyone can do it. | ||
Anyone can do it. | ||
And you've got to think that is... | ||
Being a film about Christ, it's a very... | ||
A lot of people are Christians here. | ||
A crazy amount of Christians. | ||
So people do want to go see that, and that could not be being shown. | ||
But it also just shows you, you know, it's all about specials and all this stuff where you could go, I don't know, if I go find an audience, And this audience wants to do it, like, why don't you have, I could have a Nate Bargetti app and I put my specials on there. | ||
And you have a Joe Rogan app and you do the specials and then you do, maybe you're like, I want to write a TV show and shoot it with my friends. | ||
And then that goes on there and you become your own studio. | ||
And that's what the, I mean, the thing that keeps that from happening is it's very expensive. | ||
To go shoot this stuff and to go do all this stuff. | ||
But cameras and everything is, I mean, someone could probably shoot something with a phone. | ||
No, 100% could. | ||
They've done films with phones, with iPhones. | ||
They're so good now, man. | ||
And, you know, the other thing is, the ability to stream from your phone onto a television is wild. | ||
Easy. | ||
You could watch anything and you could just press, you know, whatever you use. | ||
You could use the Google version, the Apple version, and bam, you're watching it on your television like it's perfect. | ||
It looks perfect. | ||
And it's even a better remote because you get to be like... | ||
You pause it on your phone. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You rewind it exactly to where you want it with your finger. | ||
I mean, the big business is going to have to compete with individuals because if everybody starts figuring their own kind of thing out, then it's like... | ||
But if you want to have a bunch of actors, and you want to have a script, and you want to have explosions, and you want to have superheroes, you need a lot of money. | ||
If you want to make an Avengers movie, you need a lot of fucking money. | ||
You can't compete with that, or maybe you'd have to have money behind it. | ||
But I don't go watch Avengers. | ||
I'm not the biggest superhero. | ||
So if you're going to miss out on... | ||
I mean, there's not that many of, you know, it's like Avengers, like these giant, like Jurassic Park or like these kind of giant things. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
But then outside of that, the movie industry is like, it's not made, you know, you could go, you can't go make, I don't know, like Pelican Brief. | ||
I'm just trying to name a movie that's like our, you know, The Net, Sandra Bullock. | ||
I'm just naming some, like, you can't go make that movie. | ||
If you go, and then talk about Brendan Fraser. | ||
He goes off the planet, no one sees him for a while. | ||
Well, then you're like, go get Brendan Fraser. | ||
You get a guy that's a bona fide star that they just kind of don't use. | ||
And then you're like, you want to do this, like, you know, you get writers that can't get into Hollywood or you don't know about, like, and then you could make something... | ||
Unreal. | ||
That's a real good point because all you'd have to do is catch someone's eye on social media where it's like real good. | ||
You know, it's like, this is fucking compelling. | ||
This is funny. | ||
Word of mouth gets around it. | ||
And then make it reasonable for them to get it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, people are doing that with respect. | ||
Like Schultz just did that with his comedy special. | ||
He bought it back from the streamer and released it on his website. | ||
Direct to fans. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's very... | ||
If you're not going to only buy these certain things, these giant things, and it's the big corporations, then that's where it's a problem for... | ||
Well, the creators are not... | ||
There's only so many of those stars. | ||
So if you're only going to be like, well, we can only put them in it because we need to make our money back, and you're not taking zero chances, then you're creating underneath you A network that will overtake you, I believe. | ||
You're just creating too much talent. | ||
You look at Mr. Beast on YouTube. | ||
That guy might have been on Disney if it was the 90s, but instead you let that guy figure out how to become his own person. | ||
Now you're competing with that guy. | ||
Right. | ||
Versus competing with a show that you own. | ||
Exactly. | ||
That dude's on his own. | ||
He's on his own and he's very intelligent about it. | ||
What he does is he makes these things that are really fun and he figures out like what's most compelling. | ||
He pays attention to like the metrics and the numbers and what attracts people. | ||
Like the picture that you show, you know, and the title of the video. | ||
Very important. | ||
All those things are very important. | ||
And he spends all of his money producing the show. | ||
He makes a shitload of money and pours it all back into the show. | ||
He lives a very modest life. | ||
That's authentic. | ||
And that's what I think people are buying now. | ||
He also translates it into multiple languages. | ||
He has people that work for him. | ||
See, that guy knows how to do a business and knows how to do that stuff. | ||
So if that guy can make it and then he's like, I'll be a company that starts doing it for other people, I mean, then that guy becomes Netflix. | ||
Well, let me tell you something. | ||
That guy could just do that with movies. | ||
He could do that with anything. | ||
Like, he has this mind for organizing and putting things together and figuring out what people like. | ||
And he's like a genuinely fun, intelligent, likable guy. | ||
So he puts that all together. | ||
He could... | ||
He could focus that on anything. | ||
Like, he probably likes movies. | ||
We all like movies. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If he said, let me get together with a bunch of people that make, you know, really fucking cool scripts. | ||
I want to make a movie. | ||
Yeah, a bunch of people who are actors, who nobody knows. | ||
Well, there's a lot of them, man. | ||
Acting, there's a lot of people that are really good. | ||
Way more than... | ||
Working in theater somewhere, you know, that are really good. | ||
That's hard to compete with. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because you can't... | ||
It's not... | ||
It's a punch that you don't see where it's coming from. | ||
And you're like, what is it? | ||
And it's someone that's high up that's like... | ||
YouTube? | ||
Who watches YouTube? | ||
And then you're like, the next 50 years, that person's going to sound like the dumbest person that's ever lived. | ||
I watch YouTube, but I don't watch it like my daughter and the kids, they're not even watching TV. They're only watching YouTube. | ||
That's what most kids are doing. | ||
They're watching TikTok. | ||
They're watching YouTube. | ||
They're watching just whatever nonsense pops up on their feed. | ||
If you create something, like I always thought about YouTube, like, What if you write a scripted show and you just put it out on your YouTube thing for free? | ||
I'm thinking about trying to start shooting some stuff and just being like, alright, I'll try to write sketches. | ||
Not really sketches, but it's like a 10 minute version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. | ||
And I'm going to just try to go shoot that on my own and put it out on my YouTube. | ||
And then just see what happens. | ||
Well, that's an actual crafted thing. | ||
And I know writers, I know all the comics, all of us that have been doing this for a long time, people that are acting, and you can find people to be in it. | ||
And you're like, alright, I'll just pay for this, and it goes on YouTube, and just see where it goes from there. | ||
It's like, I don't know, why can't you not, you know, do that if you keep the cost down? | ||
I think you certainly could if you were motivated. | ||
If you're motivated and, you know, you had a good group of people that you collaborate with, you could do that. | ||
I bet there's some really fucking intelligent, creative people out there that can make all kinds of wild films. | ||
And if, you know, if you don't have special effects and all you need is, you know, a music soundtrack, like, you can kind of do that with, like, can't you do that with GarageBand? | ||
Couldn't you, like, make a music soundtrack, basically? | ||
I've never used it. | ||
I know Red Band makes all kinds of crazy music with GarageBand. | ||
You can definitely do it, yeah. | ||
So you could have, like, piano playing, you could have all the kind of, you know, musical uncoutrements that people love in film. | ||
Which is really weird, right? | ||
We just accept scenes where music starts playing that tells us the mood. | ||
Isn't that weird? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because if it doesn't have that, it feels odd. | ||
But when it has it, it feels completely natural. | ||
It's like we're totally programmed. | ||
Like imagine if you were talking to your wife and you're like, hey, you know, I was thinking about the other day. | ||
And then you give her a big hug and music starts playing. | ||
You'd be like, What the fuck is going on? | ||
What is this music? | ||
Why is there music playing? | ||
We're just accepting that there's people in this tense moment and music playing. | ||
There's a gunfight and there's a soundtrack to the gunfight. | ||
What the fuck is this? | ||
That's why I have trouble being like, how do you not know this is happening? | ||
You don't hear the soundtrack? | ||
You don't hear the soundtrack? | ||
We just accept that there's a soundtrack Well, you'll have people start doing stuff like that, Willow Creek that you're showing, which is like the Blair Witch. | ||
Like, Blair Witch was like such a crazy... | ||
when that came out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It was insane. | ||
We all thought... | ||
everybody thought it was real. | ||
Everybody's like, is it real? | ||
Is it nuts? | ||
unidentified
|
I heard it was real. | |
Yeah, I heard it was real. | ||
But it was like, it made it so fun. | ||
Well, that was shot on nothing. | ||
So if you go do that now, it's almost like these streamers and all these big things, they get comfortable. | ||
Like you're at Disney+, you're like, well, I'll just buy all the main things up. | ||
And you're like, well, you don't see this underlining thing that's building where no one's going to want to watch a polished thing. | ||
Maybe in 10 years, I don't want to see something polished. | ||
That's weird. | ||
It's weird for me to see it polished. | ||
I want something that's got a little originality in the way it was shot, or it feels like a little, you know, it's got a little bit texture to it, because everything is too... | ||
Polished. | ||
Right, right. | ||
And so then you got this other world that's building up that you have no idea that exists, and now it's a big problem. | ||
And then you start going, well, I'll just go there. | ||
And then, like with YouTube, comics put in specials. | ||
If you don't keep it going and moving forward and building, Then it's going to be like, well, then you force people to go do other things. | ||
And then the other things become the thing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then you're like, well, now what I did, you look at Netflix, like, you know, Comedy Central was, that was it. | ||
Comedy Central was it. | ||
But don't you think there's always going to be that place for the big movie? | ||
That's the argument for the stars. | ||
The place is there. | ||
But I mean, those stars, so, but... | ||
The competition, what are you going to do? | ||
Try to go, if it's Chris Pratt's turn to be the star, well, he's young. | ||
So you're going to try to take his job? | ||
No one's going to take a chance on someone else. | ||
And I like Chris Pratt. | ||
But it's like, Chris Pratt's just there. | ||
So he's like, you're not going to get those jobs. | ||
So then those people go, well, I guess I go find a different way to get a job. | ||
Well, that means you have all these great actors that are going to go do these things that are your competitor. | ||
That could essentially be your competitor. | ||
I guess you could look at it that way, or you could look at more people making cool stuff. | ||
Well, I'm talking about their business. | ||
But even if you're a business, you can only make so many fucking movies. | ||
And when the movie business is booming, it's booming for everybody. | ||
When people get confidence in movies and a bunch of really good movies come out in a row, people want to go to the movies. | ||
You have a good experience at the movies. | ||
Oh, I went to see that. | ||
Oh, I heard this is fucking awesome. | ||
Let's go see it. | ||
That's good for movies. | ||
It's good for everybody. | ||
They don't think about it that way. | ||
They think about it in terms of, I get it, opening weekend, we're going to be competing against Batman, and fuck, it should be scheduled two weeks later or three weeks later. | ||
But everything feels like a big event. | ||
It feels like there's too many big events. | ||
Here's a big while, like UFC. But UFC feels like it has its events, and they just time it out very perfectly, where it's always around the corner. | ||
You're like, I can't wait to see that event. | ||
We have an event almost every week. | ||
Yeah, but it's not the, you know, it's like there's the events, and then there's the other fights, and then like, but you have, like, it's really good at hyping these events. | ||
I see what you're saying. | ||
The big ones, the big title fights. | ||
And they go, and like now, I feel, sometimes in movies, it's like they, I might be contradicting my whole point as I realize I'm saying this. | ||
It's okay. | ||
I was saying maybe they do too many of those movies. | ||
It's like too many Jurassic Park. | ||
Like Spider-Man, when Spider-Man came out, you're like, alright dude, I can't watch. | ||
There's been 15 of them. | ||
There's seven different dudes. | ||
There's seven different dudes, and we're not pretending that you're not just right. | ||
Like, is there not... | ||
Create a new character. | ||
Well, they kind of did with the Spider-Verse. | ||
They did a nice flip on it with the animated one. | ||
That's my favorite. | ||
Did you see that one? | ||
I didn't see it, but I heard about it. | ||
That's really good. | ||
I heard it was awesome. | ||
It's really good. | ||
I hear all of them are awesome. | ||
They're all great. | ||
Because they're going to be great. | ||
Yeah, but that's the point. | ||
Well, you have a good point there, in that each one of those Spider-Men, other than... | ||
Who's the first one? | ||
Tobey Maguire. | ||
Tobey Maguire. | ||
He was the first one, right? | ||
He was already famous. | ||
Tobey, Andrew Garfield, Tom. | ||
But with the other guys afterwards, Tom Holland was already famous. | ||
He was already famous. | ||
Andrew Garfield was the other one. | ||
Was he famous already? | ||
Sort of. | ||
Not really though, right? | ||
Not like Spider-Man famous. | ||
He was in like one or two movies maybe. | ||
Right. | ||
These all probably blew them up in the start. | ||
But you have to be young to be Peter Parker because he's a high school student. | ||
But I understand your point earlier made sense to me. | ||
A college student. | ||
These guys selling, like the Tom Hanks, they're selling tickets and Brad Pitt and all these. | ||
Where you could be like, if you're Tobey Maguire and you're these other guys, you have to prove that you can sustain the career. | ||
Right. | ||
Which is something to be said. | ||
Which, I'm actually a big fan of being, the longer you're in this business, the more you realize career length is, it's very impressive. | ||
And if you can sustain it, that's something in its own right. | ||
Anybody can be, not anybody, but being a flash in the pan and being hot in the moment, but being able to carry it is very hard to do. | ||
Sports and any, like, everything. | ||
Right. | ||
Comedy. | ||
When you speak to a comic and they were like, I've been doing it for 25 years, 30 years, 40 years, you're like, that's insane. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How's that? | ||
We're made this career on just our dumb brain. | ||
Right. | ||
Words. | ||
We got nothing. | ||
So it's always impressive. | ||
So I understand that aspect of, yeah, these people that sustain these long careers, maybe it is. | ||
No one's come up behind them and completely taken over. | ||
Robert Pattinson's probably one. | ||
Because he's in the new Batman. | ||
Like, that guy was Twilight, and now that guy seems like he's getting, like, real acting. | ||
Like, he's like a, will be the next kind of star. | ||
That'll be in a lot of stuff, you know. | ||
Yeah, there's always those guys, and people like them in films. | ||
You see them as, like, a co-star in a few films, and then they take off. | ||
It's a fucking horrible road if you don't make it. | ||
I've met a lot of people that never made it. | ||
That's why I like comedy. | ||
It's more of a meritocracy. | ||
There's at least some control. | ||
And it can be at least a little in your hands. | ||
I don't think we disagree about this movie thing. | ||
I think we're just looking at it in different ways. | ||
I think I agree with you that it opens up the door for all these people to do creative stuff because the barrier for entry with really being able to have a phone and a tripod and you can film some shit. | ||
That's real. | ||
And that this is going to open up the door to a lot of really creative people, for sure. | ||
And a lot of people that have been overlooked. | ||
But I think that's good. | ||
I think it's going to have the opportunity for the cream to rise to the top. | ||
Stuff that's really good just get virally shared. | ||
People can do a lot today with just simple editing software. | ||
You can do a lot today. | ||
I've seen wild videos that people make online where they splice shit together with music and they just do it from their computer. | ||
Well, the videos I've seen with your face on someone else's, you're like, that's insane. | ||
It's insane. | ||
That's insane that it looks like you can't. | ||
You've seen that guy that does Tom Cruise? | ||
Have you seen the deepfake? | ||
It's incredible. | ||
Maybe, yeah. | ||
Watch this. | ||
It's going to freak you out, because it's not Tom Cruise. | ||
It's this guy who sounds kind of like Tom Cruise, so it works because he does a good impression, but then they're doing a deepfake on his face, and it's Nuts. | ||
It's nuts. | ||
Because they're gonna be able to do this with anything, with anybody. | ||
There's already a program that they have with you or me because we've done so many podcasts. | ||
They can take all of your words you've ever said and make you say things in any kind of inflection that they want, in any way they want, loud, angry. | ||
This is, this is the guy. | ||
You're a movie star. | ||
Are you nervous? | ||
unidentified
|
I said, no, Mr. Gorbachev, I'm not nervous. | |
He goes, well, remember how much a polar bear weighs. | ||
I said, polar bear? | ||
He said, enough to break the ice. | ||
It's the last time I've ever seen Macau Gorbachev. | ||
What's up, TikTok? | ||
So this guy just doesn't look like this? | ||
No, no, no. | ||
This is a deep face. | ||
He looks a little like him. | ||
That's why it works so well. | ||
It works because he's got a similar facial structure, but that is wild shit. | ||
It's kind of broken there, you can tell. | ||
Well, so you can see quick movements or not. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Hey, listen up, sports and TikTok fans. | ||
unidentified
|
If you like what you're seeing just wait till what's coming next You think you can tell the difference No, no, no. | |
I thought the guy looked like Tom Cruise. | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
Play this more. | ||
This is just deep face. | ||
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
It's the real thing. | ||
I mean, uh... | ||
it's all the real thing. | ||
That's wild, dude. | ||
Wild. | ||
I don't know if I've seen that. | ||
I think I thought, oh, this guy looks like him. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
I didn't realize what was happening at first. | ||
What does that guy actually look like? | ||
Do they have a photo of what he actually looks like? | ||
He's a black dude, you're like, oh my god! | ||
He's Mongolian. | ||
Oh, well he does kind of look like him. | ||
Well, that does help. | ||
That helps a lot. | ||
But still, that's crazy. | ||
That means they're not far off from... | ||
You don't have to look at him. | ||
Look how they did it. | ||
Look how they just take his face off. | ||
Do that again. | ||
Can you show that again? | ||
Watch how they do this because it's fucking wild. | ||
unidentified
|
Well, yeah. | |
Look at this. | ||
They make a digital version of Tom Cruise's face, and then they superimpose it over his face. | ||
I told you about that thing with the South Park guys, and they said they were going to make a whole movie with Donald Trump about this. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So what were they going to? | ||
They were going to, and what happened? | ||
It's on hold right now. | ||
They didn't officially stop, but they had a whole movie script written. | ||
They were going to have a guy that looked just like Donald Trump. | ||
That was the idea of the movie. | ||
Wasn't there a guy who played Trump in a Comedy Central show? | ||
Wasn't there? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or was it Bush? | ||
Did he play Bush? | ||
Well, there was a couple Bush shows, but there was a guy that was running around as a Trump impersonator for a while. | ||
But was there a Comedy Central show on Trump, or it was just Bush? | ||
It was Bush. | ||
That's right. | ||
They had a Comedy Central sitcom. | ||
South Park guys made that too, I think, didn't they? | ||
Did they? | ||
That's my Bush. | ||
unidentified
|
Did they? | |
I never watched that. | ||
Was that good? | ||
If those guys made it, it must be good. | ||
I don't recall. | ||
unidentified
|
Let me see. | |
I mean, those dudes have built their own... | ||
Like, they're just... | ||
unidentified
|
Everybody. | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Craig Barker, Matt Stone. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Everybody needs to shut the fuck up when those guys are talking. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Those guys have made the greatest animated show in the history of the world. | ||
It's some of the wildest, funniest shit that's ever been on television. | ||
unidentified
|
I've got to do like your father did and separate the whites from the colors. | |
Oh, jeez. | ||
Well, at least he believed in something. | ||
That's my bush. | ||
That's the smattering of it. | ||
Forgotten masterpiece, it says? | ||
Someone, yeah, trying to bring it back. | ||
The shed bush is naturally a bumbling man. | ||
Oh, they're talking about what it was. | ||
Oh. | ||
It's like a whole new documentary about the show. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
I never watched that show. | ||
I don't think I've even heard of it. | ||
I knew it was on. | ||
I was like, this is wild. | ||
They got a fucking sitcom. | ||
Did you ever see those guys early on? | ||
I saw the very first VHS tape before it was ever a TV show. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, it was being passed around. | ||
I was dating this gal that was a... | ||
She worked with an agency, and they got a copy of it. | ||
And people were making copies of copies and passing it around to people. | ||
It was like a thing that was going through Hollywood. | ||
And it was really crude. | ||
And it was all about Brian Boitano and Christmas. | ||
It was hilarious, like really funny. | ||
And just bizarre, crude animation. | ||
Like much more crude even than like the South Park you see now. | ||
Even more shaky, but hilarious. | ||
And then it was like a couple years later, I think it was a show. | ||
I was like, wow. | ||
They made something I don't recall ever seeing, and I don't know if we've talked about it. | ||
It was called Sassy Justice. | ||
Do you know what I'm talking about? | ||
Have you heard of this? | ||
No, it sounds awesome. | ||
This is where they debuted this deepfake technology stuff that they were doing with Trump. | ||
I've never seen these images before. | ||
Sassy Justice. | ||
What the fuck is that? | ||
I have no idea. | ||
It's a 14 minute video. | ||
98% like this. | ||
It's a 14 minute video. | ||
Like this is the whole video they made I guess. | ||
unidentified
|
Everyone's got a mask on. | |
See? | ||
It's Trump. | ||
Is this what they were going to do? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
That's what they were going to do? | ||
Oh my god! | ||
Oh my god, that's hilarious! | ||
Oh my god, that's funny. | ||
It's got to be the most fun to work. | ||
Like, just... | ||
Or at least... | ||
I mean, it's hard work what they do to be able to do that. | ||
It's insanely hard, but... | ||
Do you think they got shut down? | ||
Like, do you think that's one of those things where someone said, hey, you can't do that? | ||
They said they stopped because a lot of this was... | ||
Like, a lot of the jokes were timely, and because the timing was going to be off, it was like two years later. | ||
Whatever. | ||
They might be starting it up again, you know? | ||
They might be doing it again, right about all the stuff happening now, like the raid and... | ||
Well, it's just... | ||
Are you allowed to do that? | ||
Like, here's the question. | ||
Can you have a whole show? | ||
Can I have a... | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Mark Zuckerberg. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Jesus Christ! | ||
Like, are you allowed to do that? | ||
Like, look, when Kyle Dunnigan does it, here's the thing. | ||
When Kyle Dunnigan does it, one of the things that's great about it is kind of like the South Park-y thing. | ||
I am giving in to the fact that this is not real life. | ||
I'm submitting to this. | ||
He's so good at it. | ||
He's great at it, but it doesn't look real. | ||
This looks real real, kind of. | ||
Well, the one on the right... | ||
What's that guy's name again? | ||
Michael Caine. | ||
Michael Caine. | ||
But that looks like Trump interviewing him. | ||
It looks like they put a wig on Trump. | ||
Yes. | ||
Trump looks real. | ||
Well, they got a guy, obviously, that, like, physically resembles his size. | ||
unidentified
|
The perfect impersonation. | |
Yeah, they're clearly not going for the voice, though, so maybe that's why? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Fucking amazing. | ||
Michael Caine sounded... | ||
Michael Caine's a little in that uncanny valley. | ||
That's a little weird. | ||
It looks a little sketch. | ||
But the thing about the Kyle Dunnigan stuff is it looks fake, so it's funny. | ||
The faces are moving all fucked up. | ||
You know it's not really Nancy Pelosi with skeleton hands. | ||
You know, it's rattling her jewels. | ||
When you watch it, it's hilarious. | ||
When he does Biden, you don't think it's really Biden? | ||
Have you seen the Biden ones they do? | ||
It's the funniest fucking shit on the internet. | ||
But when Donegan does it, it's funny because it's not, like, I feel like you could do that. | ||
This doesn't look, I mean, you can tell the hair, that's not Trump, you can tell because of the hair, but that doesn't look fake. | ||
That doesn't. | ||
Like, that doesn't look like a deep fake. | ||
Oh my god, that's incredible. | ||
Compared to the one we just watched with Tom Cruise and... | ||
So they have a really good technology with whatever the hell they put together. | ||
Bro, that's wild. | ||
And there's Christopher Walls. | ||
That looks normal. | ||
He's talking to Trump. | ||
I want to watch that. | ||
If you walked by it, you would be like, I would just think. | ||
You have no context. | ||
That's just playing somewhere. | ||
You stop for a second. | ||
I mean, if he does that, you'd be like... | ||
But then you could easily just be like, yeah, I'm not prepared to be looking out for this thing. | ||
No. | ||
Yeah, of course. | ||
It is true with Dunnigan that he, it's very... | ||
That's too close. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's better being like the other way. | ||
Yeah, like play a Dunnigan one. | ||
Play the Dunnigan most recent Biden one. | ||
Dude, when he did Ray Liotta. | ||
That was amazing. | ||
unidentified
|
I mean, smoking cigarettes. | |
It was hilarious. | ||
He does everybody great. | ||
Bill Maher is fucking spectacular. | ||
So funny. | ||
And him and Kurt Metzger together. | ||
Oh, Metzger's been hiking too. | ||
He told me he's addicted. | ||
He goes during the hottest part of the day. | ||
He hikes up Runyon. | ||
What? | ||
unidentified
|
My name is... | |
Who? | ||
My name is... | ||
The guy. | ||
You see how bad that looks? | ||
unidentified
|
You like pie tits? | |
Right? | ||
Not pie tits. | ||
unidentified
|
You want to see me close both my eyelids? | |
I get real close. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm quicker than most. | |
Let me be clear. | ||
I ain't afraid of no ghosts. | ||
unidentified
|
I take my talking to your drugs. | |
and give super long hugs. | ||
I'm also an ice cream guy. | ||
Hi! | ||
unidentified
|
My name is... | |
What? | ||
My name is... | ||
Huh? | ||
My name is... | ||
Rogue Rival. | ||
I mean, come on. | ||
Come on, man. | ||
How funny is this? | ||
It is true. | ||
It's perfect because it's not too... | ||
It's obvious it's fake. | ||
I'm glad him and Metzger started doing stuff. | ||
Metzger, I've been around since I started, and he was always a guy that was... | ||
It was... | ||
He was, like, one of the first guys where you're like, oh, this dude, like, this is nuts, dude. | ||
Because he was only probably a couple years older than me in comedy. | ||
And so, like, to be that young, you know, like, and be, like, new, like, me. | ||
And then he's, like, coming up with jokes like that. | ||
And you're like, this is crazy, dude. | ||
You're so good. | ||
Yeah, he's an amazing joke writer. | ||
Amazing. | ||
And together, the two of them, they sync up perfectly, personality-wise and writing-wise and style-wise. | ||
It's about the jokes. | ||
It's about being funny. | ||
And that's what you get. | ||
All they care about is being funny. | ||
Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
And also, they did a Comedy Central pilot. | ||
And in the Comedy Central pilot, they used a much better level of CGI, where it looked realistic. | ||
And Kyle said he didn't like it. | ||
He said, this is better, and I'm like, I 100% agree. | ||
See, that's what I mean about stuff going, it's, I could, you can go sit and watch those Instagram videos that are better like that, versus when a whole TV thing and they start throwing money in it, and then you're like, well, they just wasted whatever money they wasted to do that, just to go like, eh, it's better to do it on the budget that we're doing it on this. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah, it's one of those things where, you know, they're syncing up perfect right now with the way it's so easy to do like a shitty deep fake like that. | ||
Like anybody could do that on their phone now. | ||
And they're syncing up perfectly with this whole thing that you were talking about earlier, where it's like some people are getting left in the cracks, some fucking really talented people. | ||
And, for whatever reason, somebody hasn't taken a chance on a Comedy Central or this or that. | ||
And it's better that way. | ||
Because the stuff they say is too wild. | ||
Like, that's part of what's funny about it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's so wild. | ||
You're buying into their creating personalities. | ||
Have you seen his Caitlyn Jenner ones? | ||
unidentified
|
They are fucking wild. | |
I mean, they're wild. | ||
When he does all the Kardashians and they only talk like this. | ||
Nom, nom. | ||
Nom, nom. | ||
Caitlin does all the talking. | ||
Find the one where Caitlin got a new vagina and she's telling everybody about her new vagina. | ||
Holy shit, is it funny. | ||
Oh my god, is it funny. | ||
I've gone to where I'll start flipping through them, and then you're just like, yeah, you just get kind of lost. | ||
I was a big... | ||
Ray Liotta was one of the first ones I saw that. | ||
I was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. | ||
The Jeff Goldblum one's off the charts, too. | ||
He does an amazing Jeff Goldblum. | ||
But that's the thing about Dunnigan, too, is that he's a master impersonator. | ||
His impressions are fucking great. | ||
He can do a lot of weird voices. | ||
I've never heard anybody do... | ||
Marr that good. | ||
Like, he sounds like Marr. | ||
He has the mannerisms, he knows the tone, the way they talk. | ||
It's impressive. | ||
Fuck yeah! | ||
It's super impressive. | ||
But that's like, for your example, they're completely independent. | ||
It's not this, right? | ||
First female orgasm? | ||
Maybe that's it. | ||
Yeah, maybe that's it. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm close! | |
To what? | ||
Close to what? | ||
Close to my first female orgasm! | ||
Yeah, baby! | ||
unidentified
|
This isn't quite working, huh? | |
I need some tips on how to finish! | ||
I've been at this for two hours! | ||
Oh, that's doing something, baby! | ||
Yeah! | ||
I need to get some suction on this situation. | ||
What is happening though, Weird Al? | ||
Shut up, checkers. | ||
You're distracting me. | ||
Just what happened though? | ||
Oh, that's a good tick, Chloe. | ||
Thanks. | ||
You're welcome. | ||
Oh, I'm feeling a tickle on what used to be my pickle, baby. | ||
Yeah, let's turn this up a notch. | ||
Weed therapy. | ||
All right, let's take this over. | ||
Don't use the weed water, guys. | ||
Weed therapy. | ||
Oh jeez, I just scored it on checkers! | ||
You couldn't do that anywhere else! | ||
You could not do that anywhere else! | ||
unidentified
|
It's so funny! | |
It's so funny! | ||
I think if they're on Comedy Central, they're going to take that into the room and he goes, this is what we're thinking. | ||
They're like, what are you talking about? | ||
Get the fuck out of here! | ||
You're going to get us all killed! | ||
He can't do this! | ||
But you have to do that. | ||
It's like, there's gonna be an outlet for that, man. | ||
You know, you can bottle everything down. | ||
Yeah, I think the outlet is, I mean, it's... | ||
Those guys are gonna pop through. | ||
Those guys are gonna pop through. | ||
You're gonna start seeing people make stuff that's gonna allow those guys, and that's gonna be... | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's huge, because it's like, that's your funniest guys. | ||
It's not like Kyle and Kurt are just two dudes you don't know and we don't know if they're really funny. | ||
That's seasoned, seasoned comedians that you can count on that we know are funny. | ||
These guys have worked behind the scenes on a bunch of shows. | ||
Kurt's put specials out. | ||
Kurt's toured. | ||
Kyle tours. | ||
This is not... | ||
You're taking a chance. | ||
It's a matter of whether you like their comedy or not is your objective, but them being comedy writers and creating comedy, that's as foolproof as you can do. | ||
But what they're doing now is perfect. | ||
I think it's building, you know, it's building mostly by word of mouth and people sharing them and spreading them, but most of them have millions of views now. | ||
But at what point, if you go take that show, I'm saying, like, you look at it going like, so what do you want to do with that? | ||
So if it's like Kurt and them are like, you're like, alright, I want to make you, let's make a show. | ||
And then so you go, what do you want to do? | ||
You want to go to HBO? You're going to someone that's going to restrict you from doing the freedom that you can do. | ||
Versus if you have someone else that creates something, or if it goes through YouTube, or whatever it can go through where they can at least make some money or touring. | ||
Yeah, well that was the idea of Substack. | ||
I had one of the co-founders of Substack on yesterday. | ||
It's like you just pay monthly? | ||
Yeah, you subscribed. | ||
It was originally just journalists, and now they've moved to podcasts. | ||
They have podcasts on it now, and even videos. | ||
They have video podcasts. | ||
And so you just subscribe to whoever you want. | ||
And there's no advertising, and the money goes, they get 10%, and you get the rest. | ||
I like that. | ||
That's a great idea. | ||
And that, just like podcasts, opened up the door to a lot of people. | ||
How much does it cost to subscribe? | ||
Like a dollar or two dollars? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Some people make it free. | ||
You can make it for free. | ||
Some people, their substack is just open. | ||
And other people, they accept donations. | ||
And some people, they charge subscriptions. | ||
And some people have some stuff for free. | ||
And then some stuff, if you want to be a member, you get all of it. | ||
So they just get you into their stuff. | ||
See, that's the hard part. | ||
There's only so much where you could be like, alright, are you going to be paying $80 a month for 80 different people? | ||
Well, I don't know how much you have to pay. | ||
I don't know the answer to that. | ||
But I'm not saying Substack, but I'm saying the future of what everything can go to. | ||
I love the idea of no ad. | ||
It's the idea that you can pay a subscription and you don't have to do ads and you get the content that you want. | ||
But it's like if stuff gets too spread out, that's where it's hard to, you know, is it hard to make a superstar out of that? | ||
Because you're like, too much, like people are going, spending money and going two different many ways. | ||
Yeah, but is that the goal? | ||
Just Making superstars? | ||
No, it's not the goal. | ||
The goal is just do your best, right? | ||
Yeah, it's not the goal. | ||
I'm saying that that world kind of dies. | ||
Maybe, or there's always going to be certain individuals that do things that are different. | ||
Whether it's Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle in comedy, whatever it is in whatever genre, there's people that never go away for whatever reason. | ||
And I don't think trying to figure out why Is the answer for the individual. | ||
I think for the individual, it's like, just do your best. | ||
Just do your best and do the best version of what you're doing. | ||
And if you're comparing yourself to others, do it in a way that inspires you only. | ||
Don't do it in a way that turns you into a jealous bitch. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because it's very easy. | ||
It's a natural human inclination to tend towards jealousy and bitterness at others' success. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
It's natural. | ||
And you feel it. | ||
You feel it the whole time you come up and then you look slowly. | ||
I always tell people, it's like whatever you feel, slowly you're just gonna move on and then you're like, I can't believe I even cared about that. | ||
As long as you care about yourself and you just end up, it's not that you don't complain to your friends about it or you, you know, you just keep the circle tight. | ||
Eventing is great. | ||
You do that kind of stuff and then you get back and just mind your own business and be like, It's hard to stick to a plan. | ||
Because people tend to, I think people tend to think, well, this is working for this person. | ||
And then they change their whole act to try to be that person. | ||
Where you've got to go, no, no, no, just stay forward. | ||
And then you keep moving forward. | ||
Because then a lot of times you can watch the thing that you're jealous of. | ||
You end up watching you pass it. | ||
And at one point you were jealous of that. | ||
Well, it's just a bad instinct, you know, because it's the same fuel that you could use for inspiration, and it's positive. | ||
It's the same fuel. | ||
You just decide how to use it. | ||
You know, that feeling that you get that you're not as good, or you're not as valued, or you're not as appreciated, that feeling is fuel. | ||
You just gotta use it the right way. | ||
The problem is there's just a natural inclination to feel negative about the person. | ||
Like, I've heard people shit on people that are really good, like really good, famous comedians. | ||
Like, oh, his last special was garbage. | ||
Oh, there's this. | ||
I'm like, you haven't put anything out in years. | ||
Just shut the fuck up. | ||
First of all, you're wrong. | ||
It's not garbage. | ||
And second of all, it's like you're looking at it You're looking at it like it's representative of what he does. | ||
And it is in that one particular set. | ||
But everybody has sets that are kind of squirrely. | ||
And one good way to guarantee you're going to have a squirrely set is film it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know? | ||
Film it. | ||
One show. | ||
You got one show. | ||
Ready? | ||
Go. | ||
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
Some people can pull that off, but some people, they come off like a little tense. | ||
Whereas a regular show, they'd be like super loose. | ||
But there's this like natural inclination to like want them to fall. | ||
You know, you want to see them fall because somehow it lifts you up. | ||
It's easier than you trying. | ||
For that person to fall is easier than that person trying to... | ||
It's a bad use of energy. | ||
It's a bad use of energy. | ||
Because that same energy, if you don't give in to that instinct, and I've felt that instinct many times in my life, It's a gross instinct to be upset at someone who's doing better than you. | ||
But if you can just take that and say, oh, this is fuel for inspiration for me to get better and to become undeniable. | ||
Be undeniable. | ||
That's it. | ||
Just do that. | ||
This is Steve Martin. | ||
The Undeniable. | ||
Is that what he said? | ||
I think it was his book. | ||
That was his book? | ||
Nah, I could be making all this up, dude. | ||
I know he had Let's Get Small. | ||
Not his book, but I thought Steve Martin said, Just Be Undeniable. | ||
Or that's what I always heard he said. | ||
He probably did. | ||
He was a smart dude. | ||
I didn't know he said it, but I say it too. | ||
And I think a lot of people say it. | ||
It's just a natural progression. | ||
What does he say here? | ||
Be undeniably good. | ||
There it is. | ||
When people ask me, how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them, and nobody ever takes note of it, because it's not the answer they wanted to hear. | ||
What they want to hear is, here's how you get an agent, here's how you write a script, here's how you do this, but I always say, be so good they can't ignore you. | ||
If somebody's thinking, how can I be really good? | ||
People are going to come to you. | ||
It's much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties. | ||
Bam! | ||
So, Steve Martin just said exactly what I said. | ||
Or, no. | ||
You're on the same page. | ||
I said exactly what he said. | ||
He said it already. | ||
You might have said it before. | ||
I don't think so. | ||
unidentified
|
You know? | |
I don't think so, but it's the same feeling. | ||
That was from last week. | ||
It's the same feeling. | ||
Just don't concentrate on that. | ||
Especially in something like comedy. | ||
It's way harder in acting because you've got to get chosen. | ||
We don't have to get chosen. | ||
If you're doing shows, you get recognized by your peers, people take you on the road, you get working in the clubs, you start making a living. | ||
We don't get chosen. | ||
We get made. | ||
We make ourselves and we have other people help us. | ||
And that's not a thing an actor necessarily gets to do. | ||
It's a way harder fucking road, man. | ||
Yeah, I never envied it. | ||
If you can get to a point where you're a fucking working actor for decades, like a John Leguizamo, or like a James Franco, there's not that many, man. | ||
Not that many who get to that spot. | ||
You know, how many Laurence Fishburne's are there? | ||
I mean, how many guys, you know, there's only... | ||
And they didn't let him be in that Wick, the last Wick movie. | ||
Didn't he get killed? | ||
I don't think so. | ||
I don't... | ||
Not the Wick, I mean the... | ||
Didn't they stab him in the third Wick movie? | ||
Not the Wick. | ||
The other one. | ||
What's the other one, Keanu Reeves? | ||
Oh, The Matrix? | ||
The Matrix. | ||
What do you mean? | ||
I don't think he's in the one that came out. | ||
What? | ||
Is he? | ||
You, disinformation spreader. | ||
How dare you? | ||
Huh? | ||
How dare you? | ||
unidentified
|
You saw it. | |
I think he has COVID in it. | ||
Think he's got bad memory? | ||
I don't think he has the vaccine in there. | ||
I think the whole point of it. | ||
What happened? | ||
Why did I not think he was in it? | ||
Because you're not paying attention. | ||
You're eating gummy bears and taking a nap. | ||
All this, I do not follow movies. | ||
When you talk about the music playing in the movies, I don't think I ever even pay attention to it. | ||
Go to the opening scene in John Wick 2. There's this fucking badass... | ||
It's one of the best muscle car street scenes in a movie. | ||
It's John Wick chasing down this assassin in a 1970s Chevelle. | ||
Give me the volume, though, because it's got all this music. | ||
part of the thing. | ||
unidentified
|
This is a great fucking scene. | |
So this is right after John Wick 1 ends. | ||
He's going after everybody who stole his car and killed his dog. | ||
He's on this fucking murderous rampage. | ||
But listen, there's music. | ||
So there's a car chase. | ||
It's fucking amazing. | ||
But there's also music playing. | ||
By the way, let me just say for a fact, there's no fucking way a 1970s Chevelle could ever keep up with a motorcycle. | ||
Period. | ||
End of discussion. | ||
This is silly. | ||
But it's still a fucking dope scene. | ||
See, look, he's slipping in and out and John Wick figures it out. | ||
And so he manages to get around traffic. | ||
Everybody gets out of the way for John Wick. | ||
unidentified
|
Look, he's just driving in the middle of lanes and shit. | |
Everybody's stuck in traffic and he's going sideways around corners. | ||
It makes no sense. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But listen to all the music. | ||
It's like letting you know what's happening. | ||
Look at him. | ||
unidentified
|
He's getting close. | |
I don't think I've ever paid attention to the music. | ||
You've never seen this? | ||
No, no, I've seen the music. | ||
Pay attention to the music. | ||
I think about that obsessively. | ||
Whenever I watch a movie and music starts playing, I can't help but think that music is playing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And also that I just accept it. | ||
John Wayne gets out. | ||
Music plays. | ||
Yeah, it makes sense why they do it. | ||
It makes it awesome. | ||
And I think the fact that I don't notice it, maybe that's their job, is to be like, they don't want you to notice it. | ||
Well, it's way better than without the music. | ||
Yes. | ||
Like, this is better. | ||
Yes. | ||
This shit? | ||
Yeah, set the tone. | ||
Tell me what the fucking mood is, bitch! | ||
It's awesome. | ||
But that's... | ||
You're talking about multicam on... | ||
With comics, that's why the multicam, I think, worked. | ||
Because it was attached to live laughs. | ||
Yeah, real laughs. | ||
Yeah, real laughs. | ||
It was nice to really laugh. | ||
With the people. | ||
With the people. | ||
And the comic knows how to play off laughs, which made the energy better. | ||
100%. | ||
100%. | ||
Yeah, it's infectious. | ||
Yeah, and when you hear them when they have laugh tracks, it's a little insulting. | ||
Who was the fucking demon who first figured out the laugh track? | ||
How about we don't even have to have them laugh? | ||
unidentified
|
We'll just play recordings of people laughing. | |
We'll tell these dumb cocksuckers what's funny. | ||
Have you ever seen a professional laugher? | ||
What? | ||
So when I did... | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
Unless I could be making... | ||
It might be me. | ||
It might be all... | ||
When we did our pilot, they had people come in. | ||
So you could... | ||
When you have to run through the whole thing... | ||
You know, you can't bring in a whole audience, so they bring in four people that are great laughers. | ||
And so you can kind of get your timing off of it. | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
And so you look in the crowd, it's like four people are like, ah! | ||
Like really loud laughing. | ||
And they were like really good. | ||
You imagine if somebody hired them and they got busted? | ||
They hired them to be in their stand-up comedy taping? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
The whole audience? | ||
Well, just a giant amount. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hired 150 laughers. | ||
That'd be... | ||
That'd be so crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
What if they fucked up? | ||
They didn't... | ||
Like, you're so bad, they don't know where the setups are, where the punchline is? | ||
Dude, there's a... | ||
I did that Comedy.TV with Byron Aaron, like, years ago, and they had the same audience for, like, seven hours. | ||
And so there were tape in it, and by the time we went up, you're like, this crowd doesn't even... | ||
They're laughing at all the... | ||
You're in front of a robot audience that has no... | ||
They're not listening. | ||
They've been there for too long. | ||
And so they would laugh at just, if you pause, they would laugh being like, I don't care. | ||
Is this where I should laugh? | ||
And I remember just the whole set, I just stared at this guy. | ||
He had a big, he had big hair and he's sitting there and he's The whole show, he's furious. | ||
Like, it's a guy that goes, I was supposed to be here for an hour, and y'all have made me watch every comedian that's ever lived do five minutes. | ||
And he was so mad. | ||
And they're getting paid very little. | ||
And they're getting paid. | ||
But it's not much. | ||
Not much. | ||
Not enough to sit through that. | ||
No, those people are all living below the poverty line, I would imagine. | ||
They were not happy. | ||
No. | ||
And you felt it. | ||
Yeah, that's like, that's... | ||
Almost like showbiz adjacent. | ||
You're getting paid. | ||
You're in the audience. | ||
You're getting paid. | ||
You're a paid audience member. | ||
Yeah, it's a job. | ||
It's a job. | ||
It's an extra. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, you're kind of like an extra, right? | ||
That's a fucking horrific job, being an extra. | ||
I'm reading through an article from LA Weekly where they were getting them from central casting, professional laughers. | ||
To an extent, not even that long ago, they were using it instead of canned laughter. | ||
They would put fake people in waves to laugh at certain levels, and when they would start dying, they'd replace them. | ||
And when you say, who's they? | ||
Who did this? | ||
The casting director. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Yeah. | ||
So they would hire... | ||
Wow. | ||
They would hire people to fake laugh. | ||
She would screen them. | ||
She got so good at it, people started calling her to replace their audiences with the people she could find. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh my god, that's crazy. | |
Well, it's something that no one's ever really dove into to think there's a lot of people that are really good laughers. | ||
Well, there's also, like, I mean, they're not just good laughers. | ||
Let's be real. | ||
They're not just good laughers. | ||
They're gonna laugh if it's funny or not. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
Yeah, not good laughers. | ||
Yeah, you're right. | ||
This is performative laughing. | ||
Easy to entertain. | ||
They're just, like, they... | ||
unidentified
|
Can you imagine if you, like, had... | |
But it makes sense that they would rig the whole thing. | ||
We were talking about having a star. | ||
There's so much money attached to these things. | ||
The more of a laugh that something gets, the more people might be inclined to laugh at home, the more maybe the performers would be energized because they're killing. | ||
It's a better product. | ||
But it's a better product in your mind. | ||
Yeah, it's not a better product. | ||
It's not a better product because it's all fake and that means the jokes will not be truly tested. | ||
Right. | ||
That's why with comics, it's like when you go somewhere and you go do a special somewhere and someone's like, no, you're like, yo, this person's going to everywhere in America and maybe the world. | ||
And they're trying this joke. | ||
These jokes, the comics are like, they're the most tried thing that you've ever seen. | ||
But what if they have already done it? | ||
What if that's the Big Bang Theory? | ||
What if it was just all professional laughers? | ||
They already did it, and they made a fucking kajillion dollars. | ||
Yeah, Big Bang was funny. | ||
I mean, my parents loved it. | ||
I've seen some clips of it that were very funny. | ||
So maybe they're really good at it. | ||
I think they're good at it. | ||
I think that shows you that... | ||
That was Chuck Lorre that's made a lot of... | ||
Like, that shows you that the multicams... | ||
I don't really think they had fake people in the audience laughing. | ||
I think you do. | ||
I don't. | ||
I don't think Lauren Susburn was in Matrix. | ||
unidentified
|
What I'm saying is, imagine if they— We can beg to differ. | |
We agree to disagree, Joe. | ||
I don't disagree. | ||
I didn't see the last one. | ||
I'm ignorant completely. | ||
But what was my point? | ||
They could do it, and it's like, what if they did do it and we don't know? | ||
Yeah, I think they could pull it off. | ||
I do think you laugh because other people laugh. | ||
That's true. | ||
If you're contagiously, you want to be like, yeah, we're going to have a good time. | ||
Do you think any of the laughers pull the people aside and go, you know, I just want you to know, even if I wasn't getting paid, I would still laugh. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That was really good. | ||
I think it would be funny to have a professional laugher. | ||
He's like, ah, hi. | ||
You just hear a gunshot. | ||
And you're like... | ||
Like, this guy just had enough? | ||
Like, he just can't. | ||
And all the other people start laughing because they're nervous. | ||
It just sounds like a guy just killed himself. | ||
They just throw him in a hefty bag and drag him out real quick. | ||
And place him with another guy. | ||
And everybody's just kind of awkwardly... | ||
Lay some plastic down the seat. | ||
Just sit right there. | ||
He's fine. | ||
He's fine. | ||
We'll get someone else. | ||
Sit there. | ||
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ! | |
That's the Russian version of it. | ||
It's too much. | ||
That's the Russian version of Byron Allen. | ||
Guys are just blowing their brains out in the audience. | ||
The guy's licking the tire because he doesn't even know it tastes good. | ||
His whole life's fake. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's oblivious. | ||
How crazy is Russian Roulette? | ||
Oh, I don't know how you... | ||
How crazy is it? | ||
I mean, I was just thinking about that. | ||
First of all, that it's called Russian Roulette, which is nuts. | ||
Who invented that? | ||
Is it just Russians? | ||
I hope so. | ||
Are they that wild that they came up with that? | ||
And then two... | ||
Were you seeing that look at the Russian Instagram? | ||
Like, look at this Russian? | ||
Oh, no. | ||
There's an Instagram page that's, I think it's called, look at this Russian, and it's just people in Russia doing stuff. | ||
It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. | ||
Did you see what they did recently? | ||
They had a 600 versus 600 boxing match. | ||
600 people versus 600 people in a field with boxing gloves on, and they come towards each other and just beat the holy fuck out of each other. | ||
You have to Google that, James. | ||
And does someone win? | ||
Send me that link to that Russia thing, too. | ||
Or does everybody lose? | ||
Oh, who fucking knows? | ||
I only watched a small clip on Instagram. | ||
I have no idea what the context was, no idea what was happening. | ||
But look at this. | ||
They're running towards each other with fucking boxing gloves on. | ||
Look at this. | ||
These guys in the yellow shirts and guys in the black shirts. | ||
And it's just a fucking swarm of people, two-on-one, three-on-one, four-on-one, people beating the fuck out of each other. | ||
They go down, they're punching each other when they're down, there's no referees. | ||
And they look like they're kids. | ||
They all look like they're in their teens or early 20s. | ||
Yeah, they get tired. | ||
Well, they're fucking going full blast. | ||
They're sprinting. | ||
I mean, the idea that this is a fucking sport is crazy. | ||
Like, these are the people that we're thinking about going to war with? | ||
Settle down, everybody. | ||
This is what they're doing when they're waiting to go to war? | ||
Well, this is what we're doing. | ||
We're arguing over 78 different genders. | ||
They're beating the fuck out of each other on a football field. | ||
600 versus 600. Just running at each other. | ||
There's hard parts of the world, man. | ||
Well, the fact that they have that, you said the Russian roulette, that if that was made, that's such a crazy... | ||
You have a board game night with some families and someone doesn't go home. | ||
Maybe a couple don't go home. | ||
You want to talk about the awkward conversations you have on a blind date. | ||
You're like, well, that's what you should do. | ||
If it's uncomfortable with a guy, you're like, let's play Russian roulette. | ||
And then you just kill the person that's uncomfortable. | ||
You're like, I did you a favor. | ||
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
Because we're playing Monopoly. | ||
Let's play some Monopoly. | ||
That's the craziest thing to do. | ||
Russian roulette is the craziest thing to do. | ||
Yeah, where did it come from? | ||
Are you allowed to play it? | ||
I bet people made prisoners do it. | ||
That was probably the first versions of it. | ||
I bet people did it to prove that they didn't give a fuck. | ||
You know, that they weren't scared. | ||
I bet, yeah. | ||
It's one of the fucking dumbest things you could ever do. | ||
Yeah, I don't know the joy. | ||
I guess the joy of living. | ||
Of living. | ||
But remember that scene in Deer Hunter? | ||
Holy shit. | ||
I don't think I've ever seen Deer Hunter. | ||
You never saw Deer Hunter? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Oh my god, dude. | ||
It's an incredible scene. | ||
With Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken. | ||
And they're playing Russian roulette with each other. | ||
They play Russian roulette with guards. | ||
They play Russian roulette with the Viet Cong. | ||
It's crazy, man. | ||
And they make them do it. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Play this. | ||
Give me some volume. | ||
Look at this. | ||
And they're betting. | ||
unidentified
|
They're betting on who gets shot. | |
And they're making these guys play Russian route. | ||
Look at this. | ||
You or me. | ||
unidentified
|
- Look at me, look at this. - - - They got guns pointed to them. | |
This is wild man Oh Fuck, dude. | ||
Fuck. | ||
unidentified
|
Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on, hang on. | |
In! Come on. Come on, no more. Come on, no more. Come on, no more. Come on, no more. Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! | ||
I'm gonna will us out of here. | ||
- You got an empty chamber in that gun. - Mo! - Put an empty chamber in that gun. - Go ahead. | ||
- Mo! - Mo! - Mo! - Mo! - God damn it. | ||
It's gonna be all right, Nicky. | ||
Go ahead, shoot! | ||
You shoot, Nicky! Go, John! Go, John! Go, John! | ||
No, no, no, Nicky! | ||
Ah, you kill me! | ||
You're gonna die, you motherfucker! | ||
You're gonna die! | ||
Go ahead, Nicky, go ahead, just do it. | ||
Do it, do it! | ||
He's going in. | ||
Bro, this is definitely not what this movie was about. | ||
Okay. | ||
*Sigh* I would have went into this movie thinking it's completely something different. | ||
Well, the movie is about Vietnam, but the deer hunter thing is he takes a shot at a deer and misses, and he will not take a second shot. | ||
He has this ethic in his head that it should be one shot, one kill. | ||
This guy has these morals and ethics that he applies to hunting and to life, and then he gets thrown into the chaos of The Vietnam War, and then there's a lot of shit in that movie. | ||
unidentified
|
It's a heavy movie, but it's a really good movie. | |
A really good movie. | ||
I'm going back and watching much old movies, because I missed a lot of the movies. | ||
That's one that holds up, man. | ||
Was there music playing? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
No music when that was going on? | ||
Kept it real. | ||
Yeah, that was interesting, right? | ||
We didn't even notice. | ||
Look at what the acting. | ||
God damn, the acting is good. | ||
But maybe because it's like, you know what's funny? | ||
The music is like, it's more, that's why it's more intensive a scene. | ||
Right. | ||
Because it's so real. | ||
Because you're not distracted by music. | ||
You're just having to feel like you're sitting there. | ||
Right. | ||
And the acting. | ||
How good is Christopher Walken in that scene? | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
Very good. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
He was in The Matrix. | ||
And those guys that are smacking him around, how great are those guys? | ||
Who are those guys? | ||
That's what I mean. | ||
You see some of those movies with those, you're like, dude, these dudes. | ||
That guy really looks like he's forcing that guy to shoot himself in the head. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
I always think that in some of those movies, you're like, how, where, do we, is there just like, Some of these other countries, they're going to this town and being like, how many Oscar nominees do we have here? | ||
And they're just yanking them out. | ||
And you're like, these dudes are the greatest actors I've ever seen in my life. | ||
And we don't even talk about it. | ||
We're like, alright, thanks for everything. | ||
And you're like, you're better than our own people, dude. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It is true. | ||
There's a lot of, I mean, Captain Phillip, like that guy, was like, that guy became, like, that guy's a star. | ||
It's like you end up becoming some guys that you think are gonna, they're just like, you're like, well, I don't know if they even expect him to be a star, or they're just, and then you're like, this dude's ridiculous. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, there's talented people out there. | ||
And there's more opportunities now for talented people just to get your shit out there than ever before. | ||
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
Weird time. | ||
It is. | ||
It's exciting, though. | ||
We were talking about streaming versus putting things on YouTube last night versus doing what Schultz did or what people are doing with other stuff on Substack and other places. | ||
It's an interesting landscape. | ||
Yeah, it does. | ||
It opens the door for anybody. | ||
Anybody can go grab success. | ||
I think there's going to be a lot more people that you're, you know, someone's going to be like, I don't know who that is. | ||
And you're like, well, that guy's worth $100 million and he's enormous and he has a giant following. | ||
It's you build your audience. | ||
If you walk around with an audience, you can compete. | ||
If you're creating something that is substantial, an act. | ||
Create an act. | ||
Create something that people can come back to. | ||
Create something that people like. | ||
unidentified
|
All right. | |
I think we did it. | ||
Happy birthday. | ||
Happy birthday to me. | ||
Thank you. | ||
It's a big day. | ||
When's your birthday? | ||
March 25th. | ||
I'll remember it. | ||
I'm going to write it down. | ||
Thanks, man. | ||
Same day as Stan Hope and Tommy Johnnigan. | ||
Is it really? | ||
Okay. | ||
I'll remember that now. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I appreciate it, dude. | ||
It's fun hanging out with you, brother. | ||
I loved it, man. | ||
We've got to do this more often. | ||
I know. | ||
It'll be a lot of fun. | ||
That's like four hours, right? | ||
Four fucking hours, dude. | ||
Lawrence Hissberg. | ||
We didn't even pee. | ||
We didn't pee. | ||
It's very impressive. | ||
All right, Nate, you're the fucking man. | ||
Tell everybody it is at NateBragazzi.com. | ||
Yep, NateBragazzi.com. | ||
Big tour going on right now. | ||
Yeah, you're all over the place. | ||
All over the place. | ||
Go to my website. | ||
All this stuff's there. | ||
And your podcast is? | ||
Nate Land Podcast. | ||
Nate Land. | ||
Is that on everything? | ||
It's on everything with my buddy with Nashville Comics, Dusty Slayer, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
unidentified
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All right. | |
Thank you, and bye, everybody. |