July 26, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:00:35
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| How many times have you smoked this ago? | ||
| I don't know if I've smoked one before. | ||
| You open that again one more time, sorry. | ||
| Just pull it down. | ||
| Yeah, flip the top. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And then pull that down. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| How would you not know whether or not you've smoked a cigar? | ||
| Well, I used to work at this business company. | ||
| I worked at this insurance company. | ||
| I did paperwork. | ||
| Not paperwork, but I, like, mailed papers for them. | ||
| And, like, mailings, I guess. | ||
| I guess that's paperwork. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the man had a lot of nice cigars in there. | ||
| And you may or may not have smoked one. | ||
| I feel like he tried to teach you one time. | ||
| Oh, I feel my heart shutting. | ||
| Is that always like it is? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, your heart doesn't shut. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's the smelling salts. | |
| We just tried a new batch of the smelling salts. | ||
| Last time I did smelling salts, first time was with you, right? | ||
| And we just got a new batch and it was way stronger. | ||
| Because we did one with Red Band and it was old. | ||
| It was the old ones. | ||
| And they get weak after a while. | ||
| But that one was a freshie. | ||
| Like we pulled the tab off the top and took a hit of it. | ||
| It just burned all my nostril hairs off. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It felt like somebody was fucking playing Legend of Zelda in my lungs, brother. | ||
| Shit was fucking really... | ||
| It doesn't even hit your lungs. | ||
| I feel like it goes through just into everything else. | ||
| It does a lot. | ||
| Yeah, it does a lot. | ||
| Can I just tell you your hair looks fabulous? | ||
| Oh, thanks, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It looks fabulous. | ||
| Thanks, dude. | ||
| It's just full everything. | ||
| I just got some new hair done out of the back, put in the front. | ||
| How'd you do that? | ||
| Were you losing hair? | ||
| Surgery. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Were you losing? | ||
| I don't know if I was losing as much as I've been also getting paranoid and just trying to be preparatory, but I was having a lot of stress, too. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Last year. | ||
| What were you having stress about? | ||
| Let me think. | ||
| Do you want to wear headphones or no? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You want to put one on? | ||
| I didn't see you had yours on. | ||
| I feel like I'm alone here in headphone land. | ||
| Yeah, it is weird, huh? | ||
| It's like when you put a condom on and the other person's just still looking at their phone. | ||
| You're like, oh, this is weird. | ||
| And the person, I mean, is a woman, too. | ||
| Jesus Christ, you gotta tell everybody, huh? | ||
| Well, I was just saying. | ||
| I just had a crazy... | ||
| I had a trainer the other day, and it was a gay trainer, right? | ||
| And he had a purse with him the whole time. | ||
| And it just... | ||
| What's the difference between a purse and a large shoulder bag? | ||
| Okay, this one I would say had bejewels on it, you know. | ||
| Mmm, bejeweled. | ||
| So it had, yeah, you know, it looked like somebody had, um, it looked like something you'd find in Egypt, you know, if you were digging. | ||
| It was bedazzled. | ||
| If you were digging in a men's locker room, it looked like something you'd find in Egypt, baby. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about, baby. | ||
| The first thing is funny, right, because it's like purely a woman's accoutrement. | ||
| And it has always been that way. | ||
| But, like, why? | ||
| Like, backpacks. | ||
| Guys can wear backpacks. | ||
| Guys can have gym bags. | ||
| Guys can have all kinds of bags. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But not a purse. | ||
| But meanwhile, guys generally carry more shit than women do, right? | ||
| I guess not. | ||
| Women carry makeup and stuff. | ||
| And guys have their nuts, too, which is like in a little bag, kind of. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Good point. | ||
| So it's almost like your dick has like a little purse. | ||
| Or like a hand or something. | ||
| A little cum purse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's where you store jizz. | ||
| But what else? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So I think, yeah, that's interesting. | ||
| I guess, yeah, I guess maybe since women carried more stuff. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Let me try this. | ||
| Is it out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I think it's lit, bro. | ||
| Just take a puff. | ||
| Deep in. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Yeah, that sucker's lit. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| We just want to kind of like get it going. | ||
| Yeah, don't inhale. | ||
| Just kind of get it in your mouth. | ||
| And the nicotine will get into your bloodstream. | ||
| And then the conversation flows magically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Did you ever smoke cigarettes? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I used to smoke them, man. | ||
| One time I got so depressed, I'd been seeing this gal and she split up with me. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And I smoked probably 33, 34 Newports in a row laying on a... | ||
| Futon? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| What's like a floating chair? | ||
| It has like little things on the end, kind of. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| A floating chair? | ||
| The one you put in the pool? | ||
| No, it has like a couple people can sit on it, but it's like a... | ||
| It's like a couple chairs are together, like in a group. | ||
| And it has like chains. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| People put it on the porch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah. | |
| Swing, porch swing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, porch swing. | ||
| And you just drank, smoked Newports? | ||
| Tried to get over this lady? | ||
| Yeah, they just... | ||
| Yeah, they just... | ||
| I felt like it was helping my spirit. | ||
| What happened with her? | ||
| She caught me running around on her. | ||
| And I was doing it, too. | ||
| Well, women get upset about that. | ||
| Yeah, they do, huh? | ||
| They do. | ||
| Did you ever get busted for that ever in your life? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Especially when I was younger. | ||
| Young, like, young, young. | ||
| But I busted a lot of girls, too. | ||
| One time, this is hilarious, I dated this girl when I was in high school. | ||
| And I used to have a job delivering newspapers. | ||
| I used to have to get up every morning, really early. | ||
| And I was getting up in the morning a lot of times on, like, Saturday and Sunday, when people were coming home. | ||
| And so I got up at, like, whatever it was, 4 or 5 in the morning. | ||
| I go outside, and this girl that I was dating is making out with this friend of mine. | ||
| In a car, right in front of my house. | ||
| Oh, why'd they drive over there to do it? | ||
| I don't, I think maybe... | ||
| Like a territorial thing? | ||
| No, she was friends with my sister, and I think they were probably all out partying, and they just wound up there, and they figured, fuck, no one's gonna be awake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, bro. | |
| So I came outside, and I just slapped my hand on the hood of the car while they were making out, and looked at him, and went, ah! | ||
| I just drove off. | ||
| Damn, and you had to go due to work still? | ||
| Yeah, I was happy about it. | ||
| Oh, you were? | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't like... | ||
| It wasn't like a serious commitment to this lady, this young lady at the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was just like, you know, we're just getting our freak on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just being naughty like that. | ||
| Yeah, I miss being, yeah, it was, I don't, I mean, I miss it. | ||
| I don't miss it, but it was fun whenever you were like, shit used to be so haywire when you were young. | ||
| It was like so much weird shit could go on, you know? | ||
| Well, you were wild. | ||
| Like, you'd only been making out with people for a couple of years. | ||
| Yeah, one time this guy I knew was having sex with this girl and like the rest of us were just kind of being lonely outside of his room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we went on the balcony. | |
| We went on the balcony. | ||
| How many guys are outside of the room being lonely? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three guys. | |
| So one guy's in there getting his freak on and everybody else is outside. | ||
| And because of the sound, you feel so much fucking lonelier. | ||
| And we went outside on the balcony. | ||
| One guy was out there smoking a cigarette, and so then he starts listening to the sex through the window. | ||
| Then he comes back in, and he's like, you guys gotta come in here, you know? | ||
| Chucky's doing some work in here, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's worth coming out, you know? | ||
| It's almost like if you hear a good song, like, hey, hey, guys. | ||
| So we went out and the guy leaned too close on the window and fell right through the fucking pane glass, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Caught himself up and then all of a sudden it's all exposed and they're in there. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh, it was freaking, I felt bad for everybody. | ||
| How was he leaning like that where he broke the window? | ||
| It was cheap windows. | ||
| It was a college apartment complex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Like probably single pane glass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Everything in there was cheap because people just broke it all the time. | ||
| Can you imagine being a landlord for a bunch of college kids? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never. | |
| Imagine being a landlord today, because so many people, there was rent protection during the pandemic, and people are still like, nah, not paying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I know a guy who has not collected rent from this one person for three fucking years, and he's like, I can't get rid of them. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| I'm not making any money. | ||
| Like, I have to pay the mortgage, and I'm not making any money off of rent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then I can't rent it out to anybody else, and I can't get rid of them. | ||
| And the lady has a job. | ||
| The lady has a job. | ||
| She goes to work every day and won't pay rent. | ||
| Oh, she shouldn't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But there's, like, in Los Angeles, there's rent protection. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I don't know if that's still in place. | ||
| Is that still in place? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| There's a TV show about bad people that do renting. | ||
| There's also... | ||
| I saw a... | ||
| Oh, I had a tenant that stayed in an apartment that I had in New Orleans for two months and just didn't pay any rent. | ||
| Thankfully, it was only two months, but it was just nothing you could do. | ||
| By the time you have to go to this... | ||
| Did you own an apartment building? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not a building. | ||
| One apartment. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you rented it out and they wouldn't pay rent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people they have shame and like if you fuck with them and keep they They want to either get out of there or they just want to pay you and get it over with But some people are shameless and this lady that this guy I know is running out to is totally shameless was she um do you think she was doing like some type of Like secret work and she doesn't she didn't want like do you like what do you think the reason was? | ||
| I think she would like to spend her money on other things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it's that simple. | ||
| I mean, who knows what kind of financial situation she's in, but she does have a job, and she goes to this job, apparently, according to him, and she just won't pay rent. | ||
| Like, when they put the rent protection thing on... | ||
| I don't know exactly... | ||
| I mean, I think the rent protection was supposed to be put in place for people that lost their job during the pandemic, so you wouldn't have a bunch of people just kicked out on the street. | ||
| Yeah, like a moratorium. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, a lot of people were calling for that, and it made sense during the pandemic. | ||
| The problem with that stuff is, like, getting people to start back up again and pay. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| People don't want to do that. | ||
| Yeah, once you realize you can be somewhere without it, you just have to, like, have a tough conversation at the door once a month or twice a month, and I think some people are going to do that. | ||
| Well, that's a problem that a lot of people have with a lot of free money from the state. | ||
| That once you get it, you don't want to not get it anymore. | ||
| This was the argument against universal basic income. | ||
| Is that once you start getting that money, then you're like, why am I working? | ||
| Fuck working. | ||
| I'll just live off of that money. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'll make a little bit on the side here and there and never work again. | ||
| Yay. | ||
| Yeah, I remember we talked about that one time. | ||
| We were talking about universal basic income. | ||
| I wonder if I would like it or not. | ||
| Well, it'd be nice to have money where you don't have to think about food. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And don't have to think about rent. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| If everybody just had their rent and their food taken care of. | ||
| The problem with that is, man, people need incentives. | ||
| It's very difficult to just motivate yourself if you've got your food and your rent taken care of and you tend towards laziness. | ||
| You don't have a history of discipline. | ||
| Especially now they've got all those weighted blankets, too. | ||
| Do you see that? | ||
| Can you believe that shit? | ||
| I could sleep on the fucking floor of a bus station. | ||
| I don't need a weighted blanket. | ||
| I'm always tired. | ||
| Dude, one time I was on this bus, man. | ||
| I used to go work at this farm in the summer. | ||
| And so I would take the bus up there to Greyhound. | ||
| And they had this dude on there, he's sitting on there next to me, and he's like, hey, you want to see something? | ||
| And I thought it was going to be his dick, you know? | ||
| Because, you know, it's a freaking Graham bus. | ||
| He says, yeah, you want to see something, it's either a human head or a dick. | ||
| He pulls a head out of a bag. | ||
| Either way, you're getting ahead, bro. | ||
| I said no the first couple times, but the trip got longer and I was like, alright, fuck it. | ||
| Yeah, I'll see it. | ||
| He opened up. | ||
| He had a bag of jewelry and a gun. | ||
| He had robbed a jewelry store before he got on the bus. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Why'd you see it? | ||
| Yeah, I think he wanted to take some of the pressure off of him by sharing it with somebody else. | ||
| I think he's like, I got an accomplice or something. | ||
| Then he even said, we should get off at this next stop. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not in this shit. | ||
| He's going to throw the bag at you and call the cops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I found him! | |
| He might have had a good idea, maybe so. | ||
| Well, that's a lot of people that commit crimes like that. | ||
| They're kind of not that wired right. | ||
| They're kind of screwball. | ||
| Would you ever want to do a good crime? | ||
| I would want to do a good crime. | ||
| Like a crazy bank robbery. | ||
| Like a Lee Murray type bank robbery where you're wearing bulletproof armor and you come in storm blazing. | ||
| Like you're in a Guy Ritchie movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get on the ground. | ||
| Everybody down. | ||
| Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. | ||
| Shoot some rounds into the ceiling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Shoot a chandelier off. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It comes crashing down. | ||
| Everybody screams. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If everybody listens, no one gets hurt! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some ladies, and then some guy, some like 65-year-old guy, his cell phone rings and it's that bad to the bone ringtone and you just fucking shoot that phone. | ||
| I see some guy reaching under his waistband. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't be a fucking hero! | |
| It's not your money! | ||
| I saw this video the other day where this guy is sitting getting his hair cut and he's getting his hair cut and this guy comes in and just shoots the dude cutting his hair. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And he scrambles back and the guy with the gun says, get out! | ||
| Everybody get out! | ||
| And the guy who was getting his hair cut just reaches into his band, pulls out his gun and just empties his clip into this dude. | ||
| It was real? | ||
| Yeah, there's so many videos now. | ||
| I follow a lot of like... | ||
| Shootings. | ||
| It's like a lot of police posts. | ||
| They get these security cam footage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Like shootouts and stuff like that. | ||
| A lot of them are in Mexico, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| It's crazy over there. | ||
| Oh, it's crazy. | ||
| People shooting each other point blank and can't even hit each other either. | ||
| That's the craziest ones is when people are like right here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Go follow Ed Manifesto on Instagram. | ||
| He's a dude that's been on the podcast a couple of times. | ||
| His name is Ed Calderon. | ||
| And he used to work for the Mexican government. | ||
| He used to be in, like, the anti-cartel, you know, whatever that is over there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever the force. | ||
| And he's got... | ||
| Yeah, this is the video. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Here, play this, Jamie. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all real? | |
| Yeah, that's all real. | ||
| That was an off-duty cop that was getting his hair cut. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| That's what the article I found it in says. | ||
| Well, he's got perfect technique. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Speaking of that, that shooting that happened at the mall? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You hear about that? | ||
| Yes, the shooting that happened at the mall. | ||
| This is one of those crazy situations where an armed good guy stopped a bad guy from killing a bunch of people. | ||
| This guy shows up at the mall, pulls out a gun, Kills two people. | ||
| And within seconds, this happens. | ||
| This guy reaches into his, pushes his girlfriend aside, reaches into his waist, pulls out his gun, and shoots at this guy from 40 yards away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Ten shots, hits him eight times. | ||
| Is that pretty far? | ||
| It's pretty far. | ||
| For a pistol, that's far. | ||
| That's far. | ||
| That's like a good shot with an arrow. | ||
| Like a bow and arrow. | ||
| It's 40 yards. | ||
| That's a fucking poke. | ||
| And for you to do this under pressure and to take a life, and he hit him eight times, he could shoot. | ||
| He's a 22-year-old man. | ||
| Of course, the NRA has jumped all over this, and they've said, you know, hey, this is one of those examples where a good guy with a gun kills a bad guy. | ||
| What you just saw is another one of those examples. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It does happen. | ||
| And the problem is people don't want to admit that that happens because it doesn't fit with their narrative. | ||
| This is one of the things that always happens when there's a hot topic, whether it's gun control or whatever it is, where you have a very specific idea of what you think the problem is and what you think the solution is. | ||
| And a lot of people think the problem is guns. | ||
| The solution is take all the guns. | ||
| And, you know, some people say no. | ||
| The solution is you should be armed and be prepared to take care of things. | ||
| If something goes wrong, you should be trained and you should be prepared to use your gun. | ||
| And in this case, that is the correct answer. | ||
| In this case. | ||
| I think that's the right angle he had. | ||
| Oh, is that a Jason's Deli? | ||
| Where the shooting was right there, the guy who got shot. | ||
| Yeah, so now... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| It depends entirely on whether or not this guy has a red dot. | ||
| And how much he's trained. | ||
| If he has a red dot, it's considerably easier to hit what you're aiming at. | ||
| Because a red dot, when you pull out a pistol... | ||
| Excuse me here. | ||
| I think that smelling salts fucked me up. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that. | |
| Yeah, is it fucked you up too, Jamie? | ||
| I didn't go all the way... | ||
| I went all in. | ||
| I took the biggest, deepest whip, and it was immediately... | ||
| I was punished for that. | ||
| It felt heavier than normal. | ||
| It was way worse because it was just right when we pulled the seal off but anyway my whole throat is like confused but a red dot like when you draw and you have a red dot the red dot will show you exactly where that bullets gonna go and when it turns green is that when you shoot no no it's just red it stays red okay it's just it's just you know in place of the iron sights like the iron sights you have like oh yeah the little thing yeah the little thing and then in between it is like you put the the little That's on the end of the pistol and you line the two of them up | ||
| and you shoot. | ||
| With a red dot you don't have to do that. | ||
| You just pull it out and it's like a sight and in that sight there's a red dot. | ||
| Wherever that red dot is, that's where that bullet's going to go. | ||
| And how accurate is that? | ||
| How much times? | ||
| It depends entirely on whether or not you've sighted in the gun properly. | ||
| But if you've sighted in the gun properly, it's very accurate. | ||
| Especially if you have a really good gun, like a Staccato or a SIG or, you know, some top-end. | ||
| Glock, high-end gun. | ||
| So if this guy knew what he was doing, clearly he did. | ||
| If he hit that guy from 40 yards away eight times with ten shots, that fucking guy can shoot. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's like Steph Curry, really. | ||
| You know, it's like, for the dude who's the shooter, it's the wrong, like, worst case scenario. | ||
| You happen to be close enough where a guy who has a gun can immediately shoot you. | ||
| So this guy starts shooting, and I think it was within two minutes or something like that. | ||
| But how dangerous... | ||
| Something very quick where he starts shooting at a guy. | ||
| How dangerous to shoot across a food court, though? | ||
| Very dangerous. | ||
| Very dangerous. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But not as dangerous as letting this guy go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You let this guy keep shooting people, he's probably going to shoot you next. | ||
| I mean, he's probably just going to shoot every body he can get a hold of. | ||
| So people always talk about like, oh, there shouldn't be any more guns, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But how would you ever achieve that based on kind of where we are? | ||
| You wouldn't. | ||
| You would have to go full totalitarian, where you'd have to break into everyone's homes and have a full account of all their possessions, and then even then, you wouldn't know what they have buried in their garage, buried in their backyard, buried in a storage unit somewhere. | ||
| You'd have to literally comb the earth. | ||
| There's more guns in this country than there are people. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, a lot more. | ||
| That's unbelievable, man. | ||
| It's pretty crazy. | ||
| That means there's 320 million people in this country. | ||
| There's more than 320 million guns. | ||
| That's a lot of guns, son. | ||
| And they're making new ones every day. | ||
| Dang. | ||
| Every day, right now. | ||
| They're making guns. | ||
| I have two guns. | ||
| That's all you have? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How come you don't have more? | ||
| I would consider getting one more. | ||
| You would? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I could talk you into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you could. | |
| What kind would you like? | ||
| A shotgun? | ||
| Like a home defense gun? | ||
| Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I want something like that. | ||
| Shotgun's great, because you get a lot of things go flying at them. | ||
| Yeah, and shotgun, you might not kill them, too, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Do they make a gun that you definitely can't kill someone, but you can, you know... | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| You want something that could stop a person, because if a person's coming after you, you don't want something that stuns them and then they shoot you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| If you're in that position where you're forced to use what they would call lethal force, you want it to actually work, you know? | ||
| Everybody was always used to say that they would rather get stabbed than get gunned. | ||
| Oh, they're crazy. | ||
| But yeah, and then recently I heard, yeah, you should get shot. | ||
| If somebody's like, hey, I'm going to shoot you or stab you, say, hey, shoot me. | ||
| Yeah, well, it depends on where they shoot you and where they stab you. | ||
| If they stab you in the top of the head, you're probably going to be okay. | ||
| Unless you're on The Walking Dead. | ||
| Those guns, like those knives in The Walking Dead, they go right in your head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever notice that? | ||
| You know how hard it is to stab someone in the fucking skull and go right through their skull into their brain? | ||
| It would be hard, huh? | ||
| Yeah, unless you get them in the temple, it's difficult. | ||
| But in The Walking Dead, they're just... | ||
| It's like they're made out of goo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you still watch it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's terrible. | ||
| And then also in The Walking Dead, the arrows don't go through the head, which is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they just get stuck. | ||
| They just get stuck. | ||
| It probably just seems more exciting. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's just special effects. | ||
| But also, the arrows have field tips. | ||
| They're not even using broadheads. | ||
| They're using, like, target tips. | ||
| Oh, I don't know that much about arrows. | ||
| Yeah, if you look at an arrow, like in The Walking Dead, the tips, they don't have like a big broad head, like a big cutting edge. | ||
| They have a point, just a little pointy point. | ||
| That's enough to kill the zombie. | ||
| And then you gotta pull the arrow out, and that's fucking stupid. | ||
| Yeah, I'm trying to think if a zombie was coming at me and I didn't have a weapon, what I would use. | ||
| I guess I would probably, because I think if they bite you, then you're done. | ||
| That's the whole problem. | ||
| You'd have to probably outrun them or try and get them dizzy, you know? | ||
| What do you think would get a zombie dizzy? | ||
| I think a lot of cutbacks, probably. | ||
| A lot of, you know, 180s, 720s. | ||
| My favorite person in The Walking Dead was the lady with the samurai sword. | ||
| She fucked everybody up. | ||
| Yeah, they have a new spinoff, actually. | ||
| Is it just her? | ||
| And I think it's her and someone else. | ||
| Yeah, she had the dreadlocks. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| After a while, though, like, how many zombies can you watch get killed? | ||
| Like, enough. | ||
| Yeah, it's almost weird if people are still watching it. | ||
| If you're like a big fan, this new season is my favorite. | ||
| I think it's better now than ever. | ||
| You know, because it's like we've gotten over just killing zombies all day, and then it started getting scary again. | ||
| Dude, and none of the zombies, I wish they could cut away every now and then some of the zombies trying to fuck on the side. | ||
| You think zombies fucking make new zombies? | ||
| Bro, come on. | ||
| If you're a zombie, dude, you know there's some cool-ass zombies over on the side trying to get some of that fucking zompuss, bro. | ||
| I feel like it would be real easy to kill all the zombies. | ||
| I don't think that it would be the kind of epidemic that they claim in those shows. | ||
| They move slow. | ||
| Okay, so they move slow, but they just keep coming back, man. | ||
| Yeah, but like if zombies are coming to Texas, they're gonna get gunned down. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They're not gonna make it. | ||
| But what about at nighttime when people who are out there shooting start to get tired and they gotta rest? | ||
| They go inside. | ||
| Zombies are clawing at the door. | ||
| They can't even figure out doorknobs. | ||
| They're idiots. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need to take a break. | |
| I'm going to take a break. | ||
| I'm going to shut this door. | ||
| Take a nap on the kitchen floor. | ||
| They're clawing at the doors. | ||
| They wake up, brew some coffee, reload. | ||
| Get out there. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| Clean your porch off. | ||
| Dude, you're right. | ||
| Zombies are fucking idiots, right? | ||
| They're idiots. | ||
| The Scary Zombies 28 Days Later. | ||
| Those are the scariest. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie? | ||
| I don't think I've seen that. | ||
| Best zombie movie of all time. | ||
| Unquestionably. | ||
| Hands down. | ||
| Number one. | ||
| What about Bram Stoker's Dracula? | ||
| Do you remember that movie? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| So fucking good, dude. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That was a good movie, man. | ||
| That was the best movie. | ||
| God, it was good. | ||
| Best vampire movie, rather. | ||
| That was really good. | ||
| Remember how scared you used to get when you were a kid? | ||
| Did you ever get fucking really scared? | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, little kids are vulnerable. | ||
| You think vampires might be real. | ||
| Maybe people don't know. | ||
| Especially when we were kids, there was no fucking internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just ask somebody. | ||
| If they were dumb, then you were dumb. | ||
| People would tell you the ghosts were real, Bigfoot's real, everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gary Oldman was the best Dracula. | ||
| He was good in that Bram Stoker's Dracula. | ||
| He was good. | ||
| He played old Dracula, remember? | ||
| He played Dracula with the white crazy hair and the wig. | ||
| Let me think. | ||
| Can we see an image of it? | ||
| Yeah, he was a bunch of different ages in that movie. | ||
| Because depending on how much blood he got, if he got the good blood, he would come back to life again. | ||
| He got more young. | ||
| Yeah, do you remember? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| There was a scene where he was like very, very old. | ||
| And he met Keanu Reeves. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| I don't remember that good at the moment. | ||
| Like something happened. | ||
| I think he was shaving. | ||
| Oh yeah, he cut himself. | ||
| Yeah, he cut himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then he was helping him shave, wasn't he? | ||
| Shaving him. | ||
| And then Gary Oldman licks the blade. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| See if you can find that scene. | ||
| Old Dracula. | ||
| Because he was old Dracula and then he was young Dracula and Winona Ryder fell in love with him. | ||
| She was beautiful. | ||
| Oh, she was so hot. | ||
| Isn't that amazing, though, that women in these shows and movies like Twilight, they fall in love with vampires. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Psychologically. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| See how old he was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is old Dracula. | ||
| Let me hear his voice. | ||
| Look at his hair, too. | ||
| Vampires, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Happiness you bring. | |
| Count Dracula... | ||
| I am Drahpul. | ||
| And I bid you welcome, Mr. Hargut. | ||
| Blood gays, they call them a lot of people. | ||
| Blood gays? | ||
| Vampires. | ||
| Look how they used to have to... | ||
| Oh, he fucked up. | ||
| He walked in. | ||
| Oh, you didn't see a shadow, though. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But it's also, you walked in. | ||
| You're not supposed to walk in. | ||
| When they invite you, or if you invite them in your house, you're fucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You... | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| It is... | ||
| Dude, is this a Hampton Inn in Memphis? | ||
| This shit looks insane, bro! | ||
| What was he mad about? | ||
| Back it up so he can hear what he's mad at him for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...against all enemies of Christ. | |
| The relationship was not entirely successful. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| It is no laughing matter. | ||
| We, Draculs, have a right to be proud. | ||
| What devil or witch was ever so great as Attila whose blood flows in these veins? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It didn't seem so good. | ||
| You know, when I saw it in the movies, it was pretty fucking good. | ||
| But right there in that clip, I feel like many times on this show, I've said, man, there's a scene, you've got to see the scene. | ||
| You watch the scene, you're like, that scene kind of sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That happens more often than not, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's more than you would think it would be because it's at least 50-50 probably. | ||
| Like, oh, fuck, that's stupid. | ||
| Well, how old is that movie, too? | ||
| 92. 92. Did you think it was going to be bad, James? | ||
| Whenever he said, let's watch this scene, did you think it was going to be a bad one or did you have any pre-thought on it? | ||
| I don't remember that movie. | ||
| I don't think I've even seen that movie, so I have no idea. | ||
| Dude, I think women like vampires because, first of all, they offer that live forever. | ||
| So women want to live forever. | ||
| They want to be young forever. | ||
| They want to be immortalized in like a young space. | ||
| Yeah, and maybe the dude would do the dirty work and they'll just profit off of it. | ||
| Beauty sleep. | ||
| Yeah, you get that beauty sleep in a coffin, you fucking sleep sleep. | ||
| Nice castles. | ||
| And then you rise like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at this, we're known to ride her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dang, I'd ride her, dog. | |
| No wonder why Johnny got that tattoo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So this is like young Dracula. | ||
| See, he got the dark, dark hair. | ||
| But she weighs only... | ||
| Look, she must weigh 90 pounds. | ||
| This is the kind of stuff that's too much, man. | ||
| What? | ||
| You don't like small people? | ||
| That's too... | ||
| You can't be that light. | ||
| Well, I don't know how big... | ||
| Actually, I met Gary Oldman once. | ||
| I met him at a store. | ||
| I didn't meet him. | ||
| I saw him. | ||
| I was standing in his presence at a store. | ||
| It's Pete Davidson. | ||
| He's not a big guy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, he's not big. | ||
| Um, so yeah, she probably is really tiny. | ||
| Was there ever a movie- Look at him there. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Let me hear his voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's crossed oceans of time to find her. | |
| Wow, that's romantic. | ||
| He's thinking of biting her, but he doesn't want to bite her. | ||
| Look, he turns away. | ||
| I don't want to do this. | ||
| Oh, his eyes are red. | ||
| He doesn't want to turn her. | ||
| He turns into a werewolf in this movie, too. | ||
| Oh, the fangs are gonna come out. | ||
| Why does he want to turn her? | ||
| Because he just doesn't want to do it, but he's got to! | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| But he won't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not yet. | |
| I won't. | ||
| I won't. | ||
| Oh, the wolf left him. | ||
| He's got willpower. | ||
| That wolf just bit some thot outside, you heard it? | ||
| It turns into a vampire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you see that? | |
| Sure! | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| Back it up a little bit. | ||
| Back it up a little bit. | ||
| So they come in. | ||
| So he's hugging her. | ||
| He loves her. | ||
| He's so sad. | ||
| Oh, he's biting her. | ||
| Then they come in She's been bit I Damn. | ||
| Satan was the biggest enemy back then. | ||
| Yeah, the fucking crucifix didn't even work on him. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's Anthony Hopkins. | |
| So he must have... | ||
| What has he got in that glass he's holding up? | ||
| Is that holy water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgot about this scene Look, that guy is holding up a fucking gin and tonic towards him. | |
| Oh, he threw the water at him. | ||
| Holy water. | ||
| Keanu Reeves already has white hair. | ||
| He's been freaking out. | ||
| It's the same defense for an exorcism, it seems like, right? | ||
| Holy water? | ||
| I mean, just get a couple grease and yell at it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| She was mad that he's shooting. | ||
| I would have to get her... | ||
| just cut her out of my life. | ||
| Oh, we turned into a bunch of rats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gang, gang. | |
| No one's even stomping the rats. | ||
| She's got blood pouring out of her mouth. | ||
| I wonder if there was a lot of, uh, I wonder if back then there was, if, um, if, like, people were more sexually active back then, you think? | ||
| Um... | ||
| In the past? | ||
| Well, they probably fucked a lot more because they didn't live very long. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They probably just fucked whenever they could. | ||
| What a pickup line. | ||
| We're not gonna make it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's just have a couple glasses of wine. | ||
| Yeah, like, hey, babe, the median age around here is 27. We gotta fucking hammer it down. | ||
| But a lot of that was because people died young. | ||
| It was a lot of infant mortality. | ||
| That was a big issue. | ||
| When you look at the actual age that people died back then, some people lived to be a ripe old age, but it was pretty rare. | ||
| And a lot of infants, I guess a lot of infants just weren't that powerful, or what was the deal with it? | ||
| But they didn't have medicine. | ||
| So if they got sick, they died. | ||
| You know, or if, you know, a lot of women died during childbirth because there was complications. | ||
| You know, now they save so many more people. | ||
| Do you think we're supposed to be living as long as we are, or do you think, like, Mother Nature's like, oh, fuck, these people are hanging out too long? | ||
| I don't think there's no supposed to. | ||
| I think if biologically we're supposed to live to be roughly a hundred years, if everything goes great, if everything goes perfectly, you'll live to be about a hundred years. | ||
| But I think that with modern science and our understanding of genes and hormones and, you know, telomeres and all the different anti-aging technologies they're working on right now, we're probably right now talking to people that are going to live to be 150 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Yeah, I think, like, you're seeing people today, like, if you meet a guy and he's 30 years old today, that guy's probably gonna live to be 150. That's crazy! | ||
| Well, people live to be 120. That's a rare thing, but there's been some women that have made it to, like, 120. A lot of Chinese and Japanese people, too, as well. | ||
| I think because their body's smaller and it doesn't have to, like, the blood doesn't have to go as far. | ||
| That is true, believe it or not. | ||
| Basketball players die young, for the most part. | ||
| But some of them, like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is still up and kicking, and he's up there. | ||
| Bill Russell is as well? | ||
| Yeah, but they die. | ||
| It's weird, because I'll get so jealous of a basketball player, but then I don't get that jealous when I remember that stat. | ||
| They live fast, die hard. | ||
| Wow, he's 88. That's amazing. | ||
| Louisiana, too. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And he's 6'10". | ||
| So that throws that into the monkey wrench, into those gears. | ||
| Because that was always the theory, that the really tall guys, they would have heart attacks. | ||
| But if you think about the ideas that your heart has to pump, If you're a six foot eight person, your heart has to pump through all that limbs and all the way down to your feet and all the way back up and it's just more complicated. | ||
| That's why they don't let really tall people like that be fighter pilots. | ||
| Because what could happen if they have a hard, like a... | ||
| The G-Force. | ||
| With the G-Force, you want to be more compact to be able to fight off the G-Force. | ||
| Oh, dang. | ||
| Because as the blood, like, pushes out, like, the G-Forces literally force the blood out and make you black out. | ||
| So to stop the G-Forces from making you black out, you've got to do a thing called hooking. | ||
| Where the fighter pilots, I flew with the Blue Angels once, and they hold on to this yoke, the steering thing. | ||
| And while they're holding on to it, they're going like this. | ||
| And they're doing that when they hit high Gs. | ||
| And what they're doing is they're forcing blood into their head. | ||
| Dang. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're making that sound. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| And I guess the taller you get and the longer your limbs are, the more difficult that is to do. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It's interesting how certain people are really built for certain things, you know? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That's really, really interesting. | ||
| Some people are built to be jockeys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I met a nice jockey one time. | ||
| I think Mario is his name. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gutierrez, I think, is his last name. | ||
| And he's... | ||
| And yeah, when you see those guys, they don't even like to eat a lot of special meals or anything. | ||
| They like to keep it real. | ||
| They have to keep it real light. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because if you're like five pounds overweight, that's five more pounds that horse has to ride. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta be light to be a jockey. | ||
| I met a dude who was a jockey. | ||
| He used to come to the Comedy Store. | ||
| He was real small. | ||
| And, you know, he would diet and cut weight for races. | ||
| Like, they'd try to get as light as possible for a race. | ||
| Which makes sense. | ||
| Do you miss it? | ||
| Do you miss the Comedy Store? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I miss the camaraderie. | ||
| I miss the fun hangs. | ||
| Like, we used to hang out in the back bar and hang out in the green room. | ||
| And hang out in the parking lot. | ||
| That's the fun I miss out of the comic store. | ||
| But we have that in Austin. | ||
| You know, the Austin hang is amazing. | ||
| It's amazing here. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, I was talking to Adam Iggy yesterday. | ||
| He said you guys were hanging out. | ||
| I gotta show you the club. | ||
| Oh, yeah, huh? | ||
| We can't talk too much about it, but I'll show you some shit later. | ||
| Yeah, I'm excited. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's gonna be wild. | ||
| How many days are you in town for? | ||
| I think until Thursday or Friday. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I can stay either one. | ||
| So I know I'm going to do, yeah, I think we're going to do a show Wednesday. | ||
| Yeah, we can do it tomorrow too if you want. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, I'm around. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, tomorrow, during the day, I'll take you to the club. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because it's in mid-construction right now. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Are you nervous about it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I'm real excited. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| But just like the way it is right now, if nothing changed, if we didn't have another club, if what we had now was all we have forever, it's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's still good. | |
| The Vulcan is amazing. | ||
| Can I get that lighter? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, for sure. | |
| The Vulcan's amazing, man. | ||
| We're having so much fun. | ||
| We did a show last night. | ||
| Sold-out show last night. | ||
| We do them all the time. | ||
| Yeah, I thought about coming through, but instead I decided to get some sleep. | ||
| I went to a trainer this morning. | ||
| Dude, I've been feeling a lot better since I started going to a trainer. | ||
| Is this trainer with the purse? | ||
| Is this a new one that you just tried? | ||
| This was one that I tried in this area. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How did you get hooked up with them? | ||
| Just on the internet. | ||
| Craigslist? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I got an assistant lady that helps me out. | ||
| She set it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You got an assistant, huh? | ||
| Just for some, like, just scheduling stuff. | ||
| Makes things easier. | ||
| I decided to take more pressure off myself. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to use this match, though. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| You don't like the lighter? | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| Too much. | ||
| Just too hardcore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I don't have like an assistant. | ||
| Like, I don't have like somebody who's like a... | ||
| Waiting on your hand and foot. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have like a maid or anything. | ||
| I just have somebody that helps schedule stuff and put it into the calendar, you know? | ||
| So, some stuff like that makes it easier on me. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So yeah, I've been just scaling back a little bit more. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Taking it easy. | ||
| I got a trainer. | ||
| And man, I've been feeling so much better. | ||
| You look good. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| Yeah, you look healthy. | ||
| I feel so much better even the last time I was here. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| For one, it's the training. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| I mean, it's like, because for 20 years I was like a meathead, you know? | ||
| I was like, you know, I used to do the steroids and everything, dude. | ||
| You know, we used to, you know, we used to, you know, I used to be into it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fucking, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let me hear a grr. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Grr! | |
| That's real. | ||
| I'll sweat on your fucking children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, that's who I was, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying, dude? | |
| I'll fucking eat one of my own hands, dude. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, that's who I was, bro. | ||
| You were crazy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I was just... | ||
| You know, I liked it. | ||
| And so I think it just kept me more in my body and more stuff like that. | ||
| And so then whenever work got busy, I didn't... | ||
| That was one of the first things to really kind of go. | ||
| I didn't realize it was going, but it was just... | ||
| I was just too, it was, things were too hectic. | ||
| Too caught up with the career. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's a thing about, you know, career stuff. | ||
| And that's also a thing about Hollywood. | ||
| Do you like living in Nashville? | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you enjoying it? | |
| Right now I'm training with a guy named Jeremy and Curtis. | ||
| Don't you hold onto that lighter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Because it's going to burn your fingers. | ||
| I'm watching. | ||
| I'm like, how long before he says yikes? | ||
| It's tough when you get like a little lighter and you got to do a cigar because right now you're right at the nail. | ||
| Ooh, good timing. | ||
| Praise the Lord, bro. | ||
| You nailed it. | ||
| I burned my sister once when we were doing fireworks and there's nothing like that that's ever going to happen to our family again. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You're done, huh? | ||
| Done with getting burned? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Done with people at my family getting burned. | |
| But, uh, so that's been really helping, man. | ||
| I go in there, and there's, like, pro athletes in there and stuff that train, and so it's like, and there's, like, kids in there in this place that train, so there's, like, this all, it's just, like, a lot of good energy. | ||
| Where'd you go? | ||
| I go to this place called Lipscomb Academy in the morning. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so there's just like a lot of fun energy in there. | ||
| And yeah, man, it just started to, it started to change. | ||
| And then I even been doing a ice bath. | ||
| It's not as low as yours. | ||
| But I've just been doing like, I've just taken more time to take care of myself. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You know, I got so busy. | ||
| I just got, I got scared that my work was, you know, I don't know, a lot of things happened. | ||
| I got kind of scared, you know. | ||
| That happens to people when things start going well. | ||
| You start thinking, oh my god, what if it stops going well? | ||
| What if it all falls apart? | ||
| That can be a real mindfuck. | ||
| It fucked me. | ||
| It can be a real mindfuck. | ||
| It was a real... | ||
| I mean, it was a raper. | ||
| What caused it? | ||
| Was it like... | ||
| Were you worried about ticket sales? | ||
| Were you worried about coming up with new material? | ||
| Were you worried about TV stuff? | ||
| What were you worried about? | ||
| Let me think. | ||
| So, I think... | ||
| I thought that whenever I achieved some success, and we might have talked about this a little bit, that I was gonna, everything was gonna feel, any uncomfortable feelings I had, I thought all that would be, everything would be great. | ||
| I thought like once I achieved some success Then it would solve everything else and it didn't really solve anything I just was kind of successful and now I had a lot of responsibilities and you still have the same problems in your mind, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing is like people think that and that shook me success is gonna make you happy It can actually make you less happy because you get stressed out about it. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| And there's a lot of pressure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially our kind of success, showbiz success, because you're dealing with public criticism, you're dealing with the performance anxiety, you're dealing with the fact that you have to schedule all these shows and go to places and the logistics and the travel wears you out and you're jet-lagged and you've got to wake up for the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of responsibility. | ||
| And it changes from when you were kind of doing comedy and everything was just kind of you go for a week to do some shows and then things get a lot busier, you know? | ||
| So that definitely happened for me. | ||
| And then I got caught in this weird circle of like kind of self-pity in a way. | ||
| I didn't realize it. | ||
| Because I was not feeling good. | ||
| And I was like, something's wrong, so let me try to fix it, right? | ||
| So I tried, like, all different things, like, you know, I tried ketamine, ayahuasca, different therapies, different, you know, seeing therapists twice, just things like, but I was constantly like, let me try to fix this, right? | ||
| And it became almost like I was focusing on myself so much that I got caught in this little circle of like, It was just me, you know? | ||
| And my work is me, too. | ||
| You're looking at clips yourself. | ||
| There's things of you going out. | ||
| You have to go perform. | ||
| So it was just too much me, kind of, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You weren't being a normal person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just living life. | ||
| You're just focusing on you all the time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I didn't really mean to. | ||
| It just, like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just kind of what it became. | ||
| So once I started to kind of break that up a little bit, yeah, things have just got started to get better. | ||
| What made you decide to go to Tennessee? | ||
| Why did Nashville call you? | ||
| You know, I don't know. | ||
| I think I always wanted to live there, you know? | ||
| They had lower taxes, you know, and I started making money, and so I got... | ||
| I never... | ||
| You know, I remember when I was young, the government, we tried to get the government. | ||
| Somebody kept throwing dead animals in our ditch, right? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of animals? | ||
| Carcasses. | ||
| What kind? | ||
| Which type of animals? | ||
| Oh, I couldn't tell you, man. | ||
| At this point, I think some of them probably... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing... | |
| Nothing you'd shoot, I don't think. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, unless it was like... | ||
| Possums and shit? | ||
| Like, what was it? | ||
| I mean, one of them could have been a fucking Samoan raccoon is about the biggest sizes we're gonna get. | ||
| You know, it was like... | ||
| Hefty raccoon. | ||
| Yeah, hefty raccoons, dogs, things like that. | ||
| I think it was somebody who had like on a, you know, a... | ||
| Mild veterinary type of thing going on, and they would, on the way home, they would dump the animals. | ||
| And they dumped them in our neighborhood. | ||
| A mild veterinary thing. | ||
| You know. | ||
| Serial killer. | ||
| Like an in-between type of deal. | ||
| You know, some guy who's not sanctioned, but he's fucking, you know. | ||
| Not quite committed to, like, migrant workers, killing migrant workers yet. | ||
| He's just working his way up to human beings. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, however you want to look at it, man. | ||
| But I think this... | ||
| But they kept throwing anyway, so we called the government and be like, come get these fucking bones out of here. | ||
| Because, you know, there'd be kids out there fucking playing with them. | ||
| You know, you got kids out there beating each other with damn tibias and fucking humming caustices at each other and stuff. | ||
| And, you know, because it's in the ditch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And so, anyway, I was never a big fan of government after that, right? | ||
| What the fuck did the government ever do with that? | ||
| With the ditch? | ||
| Would you ask me about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not even joking, man. | |
| What were you asking me about? | ||
| We're talking about animals. | ||
| You're saying animals got left in the ditch, and then you said I wasn't a big fan of the government after that. | ||
| I'm like, how did the government... | ||
| Because they didn't clean up the animals in the ditch? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And if we'd have been and lived in a fancy neighborhood, they would have come and got it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They would have taken care of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this ties back into what we were just talking about, which was... | ||
| Do you remember what that was? | ||
| Why you moved to Nashville? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I would never want... | ||
| Were you going to help us out there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I was like, Texas, Nashville? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So anyway, I've never had a strong affinity for a lot of government. | ||
| So anyway, I think that was in me since I was a child. | ||
| So when I started making money, I was like, I don't want to give all my money to the government. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the environment of California before the pandemic was very beneficial to us because we're all collected together. | ||
| As comedians, that's very beneficial to have an environment where there's a bunch of other very good comedians around you. | ||
| It's like that OR, watching people go up and crush in the OR. How good is that for your act? | ||
| Oh, it was the best. | ||
| That's one thing that I definitely miss. | ||
| But Tennessee, it's been good. | ||
| It's a great place for the pandemic. | ||
| It's been good to tour out of there because you can just take a bus right out and go. | ||
| You're in the middle of the country. | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| So that's really been ideal. | ||
| Yeah, and I don't know. | ||
| I've thought about maybe making another move sometime, but I just don't know yet. | ||
| Where would you go? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'd have to go to a place where there's a little more stage time. | ||
| That's the toughest part. | ||
| Right here, baby. | ||
| I know you're trying to get me over here. | ||
| I'd love to have you over here. | ||
| I'm going to fucking wine you and dine you this week. | ||
| I'm going to romance you. | ||
| Take you to the club. | ||
| Once you see the club, you're going to fucking shit. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| I bite. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It'll be open probably somewhere, well, I don't want to say when, but off here I'll tell you. | ||
| So that's the toughest part, I think, is... | ||
| Stage time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you go into Zaney's a lot, which is a great place, right? | ||
| Yeah, but the most, yeah, you can go there on Monday, but it's still an operating regular club. | ||
| So do they have shows like Tuesday Wednesday night like regular shows they it's they kind of book Certain like nights at night. | ||
| You could do your own night every week, but it's still not the same as just those reps You know right like comedy store reps and I really learn on reps. | ||
| That's where I learn. | ||
| I learn on reps Yeah the one when I was really enjoying LA is like when I would do a show at the improv and then I would scoot over to the show the store and then I'd do maybe two shows at the store and You know, you do a spot in the OR and then you do a spot in the main room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Boy, you do three or four of those in a week, you get loose. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Oh, you get loose. | ||
| You get loose. | ||
| You know that feeling when the gears are greased? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I used to feel like a fucking killer, dog. | ||
| You're a killer, bro. | ||
| I used to feel like Chris Kyle up there, dog. | ||
| I remember when you really started to crack. | ||
| I really remember that, man. | ||
| Because I made a point of pulling you aside and telling you. | ||
| Like, man, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. | ||
| Because I remember there was one time where I think it was me and Fahim were sitting in the back watching you just crying, laughing. | ||
| Just crying, laughing. | ||
| You just, like, caught some stride. | ||
| It's funny when you see someone and they're funny. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Like, hey, man, that was a good set. | ||
| And then you see them one day and it just snaps. | ||
| They just hit that next level. | ||
| And you're like, ooh. | ||
| And we were all talking about you, too. | ||
| We were like, damn, you've been seeing Theo. | ||
| Theo's on his next level. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| You had hit some groove where everything you said was funny. | ||
| You just figured your style out. | ||
| You were doing so many reps. | ||
| You were doing so many... | ||
| Headliner gigs on the road and you'd be in the store on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and getting those reps in and you were just loose, son. | ||
| You were loose. | ||
| That was fun, man. | ||
| And especially you and Fahim. | ||
| That's two totally different types of guys back there, you know? | ||
| But two, you know, comedians that I really respect. | ||
| That's a nice compliment. | ||
| Fahim's great. | ||
| I love Fahim. | ||
| God, he's so good. | ||
| He was just here a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fucking great. | ||
| He's got a special out right now, folks. | ||
| It's called Hat Trick. | ||
| And I think he put it on YouTube, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's very funny. | ||
| He's very funny. | ||
| He did. | ||
| But he did a really unique thing that no one's ever done before. | ||
| He did three 20-minute sets, or three 15-minute sets, at the Comedy Store. | ||
| So he did one set in the OR, one set in the belly room, one set in the main room. | ||
| And he put them all together on one special. | ||
| Three totally different 15-minute sets. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| It's a great idea, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| For a special? | ||
| Yeah, it's a great idea. | ||
| Perfect idea for a special. | ||
| Because nobody had ever done that before at the store. | ||
| And he was like, I can't believe no one's ever done this. | ||
| Oh, he's so talented, man. | ||
| Yeah, there's a unique creativity that comes out of him. | ||
| Well, he was an engineer, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he was a very smart guy. | ||
| And, you know, very well-educated and just decided he really loved comedy. | ||
| Like, that's what he really wanted to do. | ||
| His story, the first time he was on the podcast, he talked about his story about his parents did not want him to do comedy. | ||
| So they had to hide the fact that he was a comedian until he was, like, a legit pro and on TV. Oh, damn. | ||
| His parents did not want him pursuing that. | ||
| I could see that. | ||
| I think a lot of people are real traditional, you know? | ||
| They get scared if their kid's trying to do circus, you know? | ||
| I remember when I was growing up, we had a kid in our neighborhood, this kid, Brad, who ended up actually killing his grandmother, I think. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Why'd he kill his grandmother? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It fucking broke my heart. | ||
| Did she doubt his circus skills? | ||
| I don't know who did, man, but it just, you know. | ||
| So what was his thing that he was trying to do? | ||
| He was trying to do like the taming or whatever, you know? | ||
| Like lion taming? | ||
| Yeah, but I only saw him ever do it with like a Doberman. | ||
| What's that black and red? | ||
| Rottweiler? | ||
| Rottweiler. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Rottweiler or Doberman. | ||
| I can't remember which one it was. | ||
| Have you seen that new show, The Old Man? | ||
| Is it Jeff Bridges' show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| It's a fucking great show. | ||
| It's a great show. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It's about a guy who was... | ||
| CIA operative in Afghanistan and had to disappear and they come and find him again like 30 plus years later. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| And what did he do? | ||
| They're finding him. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, he was a hitman. | ||
| Oh, they want him to help again? | ||
| He knows too much shit. | ||
| They're probably trying to come get him. | ||
| He was... | ||
| Well, I want to say he's a hitman. | ||
| He was an operative. | ||
| And he's got two Rottweilers. | ||
| He brings them everywhere, like trained Rottweilers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they help him out. | ||
| Yeah, this dude would get out on kind of like a little plank out there and be doing shit out there, you know? | ||
| And he really had a lot of violence in him. | ||
| And then, yeah, I don't know what happened with his grandmother, but she used to be our lunch lady also. | ||
| And he killed her? | ||
| I don't want to say he did, but... | ||
| Allegedly? | ||
| We know what happened. | ||
| No. | ||
| Why would you kill your grandma? | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| Actually... | ||
| Can you imagine the leap you have to take to kill your grandma? | ||
| Like, your grandma's like this sweet lady you come to visit every now and again, and she bakes cookies and shit. | ||
| My grandmother used to make Italian food. | ||
| Oh my god, it was off the charts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Off the charts, because it was all homemade. | ||
| She'd make... | ||
| I still to this day can taste her homemade pasta. | ||
| Because she would do everything on the kitchen table with the flour and she would make the noodles and everything. | ||
| She would make the tomato sauce with the tomatoes that my grandfather grew in the garden. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's romantic. | ||
| That's romantic. | ||
| It was insanity. | ||
| That food was so good, that food ruined me as a child. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| Because I go other places, I'm like, why is your Italian food bullshit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because my grandmother made everything. | ||
| She made her own meatballs. | ||
| It was sensational. | ||
| Yeah, there's something, when somebody makes something, there's like an energy that goes into it. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| Even if it's shitty, you're still like, hey, this is, you know, they took some time to do it. | ||
| And my grandmother was proud of it, too. | ||
| When she would serve us, she would come out with this big smile on her face. | ||
| She knew everybody was going to feast. | ||
| She knew that Italian food was going to knock your fucking socks off. | ||
| It was so good. | ||
| And was she pretty harsh? | ||
| What kind of lady was she? | ||
| Pretty nice lady? | ||
| She was a harsh lady. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, she was harsh, except for when she was cooking and when she was visiting and stuff like that. | ||
| You know, she grew up in a depression. | ||
| Yeah, it was different then. | ||
| My grandmother used to put her hands on my shoulders until I'd get done eating. | ||
| Almost like it was like a... | ||
| I don't know why she did it. | ||
| Was she comforting you? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Or was she like restraining you? | ||
| It was almost like, I'm going to set these on here. | ||
| It was like just making sure you ate. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Isn't that weird that people have to make sure you eat? | ||
| Like, what do you give a fuck? | ||
| What do you give a fuck if I eat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like what if they had a dude that came to your door three times a day? | |
| Who made sure you ate. | ||
| Just to make sure. | ||
| Sit down, I'm going to put my hands on your shoulders. | ||
| He's behind you while you're chewing your food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll order the chick, bro. | |
| I ain't having the dude come. | ||
| That dude shows up one time, bro, and it's hot dogs for dinner. | ||
| I'm not going to be able to fucking finish. | ||
| I'll have the lady come, bro. | ||
| That's who I want. | ||
| Well, you know, my grandmother's day, there wasn't a lot of food when she was a kid because everybody was going through the depression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, like, you know, you had to finish your plate, man. | ||
| It's like that was sacred. | ||
| Food was sacred. | ||
| And then leftovers were sacred, too, you know? | ||
| You think you could have survived the Great Depression? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you'd hope so. | ||
| People survived, but it's like, it wouldn't have been fun. | ||
| Hard to get a job. | ||
| You know, lines for food. | ||
| People would wait in line at soup kitchens and shit. | ||
| And people also breastfed their own kids. | ||
| They did? | ||
| Up until how old? | ||
| But even older adult children. | ||
| Even like in Grapes of Wrath. | ||
| Yeah, remember that book? | ||
| They breastfed their kids in Grapes of Wrath? | ||
| They breastfed the adults at the end. | ||
| Really? | ||
| People couldn't, they didn't have nothing. | ||
| Yeah, Joe, what do you think they're not gonna eat? | ||
| I read that book in high school. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| People gotta fucking eat, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if you were to say somebody's deceased, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Deceased woman, recently deceased, half hour ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And they were pregnant, and you're starving. | ||
| Do you think you'd get over there and see if there's any milk in them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Just have some milk, dude. | ||
| Damn, bro. | ||
| If she's deceased, I'd eat her. | ||
| I wouldn't eat her milk. | ||
| If I'm starving? | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to take chunks of milk. | ||
| What if you're just thirsty, though? | ||
| There was some fucking article in the New York Times about cannibalism coming back. | ||
| And everybody's like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's poverty, man. | ||
| Well, it's not that much poverty yet. | ||
| I mean, in the United States, everyone's fat. | ||
| We don't have to resort to eating people just yet. | ||
| But I read that. | ||
| I was like, why are they writing this article? | ||
| In New Orleans, every couple years, they catch somebody that boiled someone's head or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, definitely, brother. | ||
| A taste for cannibalism. | ||
| A spate of recent stomach-churning books, TV shows, and films suggests we've never looked so delicious to one another. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| It's something that gets you to click on it, and that's what we're doing because we're idiots. | ||
| But do you think also that there would come a time where people started to dislike each other so much that people started to eat each other? | ||
| Well, there have been many times in history where people have resorted to eating each other, specifically eating each other's enemies. | ||
| Like the Nez Perce, Native Americans, they did a lot of cannibalizing on their enemies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| All right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of stories about people who survived and realized that they—and even the Comanches— Like, they would find other tribes that had eaten Comanches and they would torture and kill them because, like, they would find, like, a roast leg, a human leg over a fire. | ||
| Their tweet's a little different than the headline. | ||
| Yeah, the tweet's... | ||
| Okay, the tweet is the original title of the story. | ||
| It says, Cannibalism has a time and place. | ||
| Some recent books, films, and shows suggest that time is now. | ||
| Can you stomach it? | ||
| Yeah, that was the original title that I read. | ||
| I think they changed it because so many people were like, Hey, you fucks. | ||
| If you see someone eating somebody else, you know, I wonder how weird it gets because I was on a train one time in China and this lady was eating a thing of bird talons right out of a bag, right? | ||
| Bird talons. | ||
| Bird... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Feet. | |
| Claws. | ||
| Chicken feet. | ||
| Yeah, chicken feet. | ||
| That's funny that you said that, because my wife just went to an Asian market in Austin, and she came back with chicken feet that had been cooked, and she's like, we're going to try these. | ||
| I'm like, all right, I'll give it a shot. | ||
| Damn, your wife's brave. | ||
| She's brave. | ||
| When I was a kid, my father, my biological father, used to eat pig's feet. | ||
| Pickled pig's feet was a thing. | ||
| You ever eat pig's feet? | ||
| We had them on a field trip once when I was in middle school. | ||
| We all went over there and got a pickled pig's foot from the IGA. They're not bad. | ||
| It's a weird taste. | ||
| It's like gelatinous and kind of chewy. | ||
| I remember as a kid, pickled pig's feet was... | ||
| But that's also probably a sign of people making the most of everything. | ||
| When you stop eating pig's feet and you only eat pork loin, you got it pretty good. | ||
| You don't have to eat the feet anymore. | ||
| Yeah, I think, well, a lot of cultures, I think they get starving and then they say they eat whatever, you know? | ||
| It's like, one time I was in, um, I was in Shanghai, I think, or no, I was in, I think Shanghai, right? | ||
| And I bought this, they had like a place, like a market where they had all the different, um, animals and they were for cooking, right? | ||
| Like a outdoor market or something. | ||
| There's a wet market. | ||
| Wet market, right? | ||
| So I bought a bird, right? | ||
| And I was like, I'm going to free this bird, right? | ||
| I'm just going to change the game up here a little bit. | ||
| Because it was a living bird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was like a white bird. | ||
| Not a pigeon. | ||
| Like a little fluffier than a pigeon. | ||
| Like a bichon. | ||
| Almost like a bichon of like a pigeon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So I buy it. | ||
| It was like a one dollar. | ||
| A dollar? | ||
| I walk outside with it. | ||
| This was in Vietnam. | ||
| I walk outside with it, and I literally go like this to free it. | ||
| Some guy, no joke, was sitting on this little ledge nearby, jumped up, grabbed the fucking bird, broke its neck, and walked off with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Right in front of me. | ||
| They must have thought what I was doing was insane. | ||
| Well, if you're starving, that's free food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And birds? | ||
| Birds are some of the meanest fucking animals. | ||
| Have you seen that video that's going around? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| The bird that's eating an antelope alive? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you seen that? | |
| You think they're mean? | ||
| Oh, they're vicious. | ||
| They're so fucking horrible. | ||
| Why do you think? | ||
| Because they can't be on the ground as much as other animals easily? | ||
| I just think they're reptiles. | ||
| They're flying reptiles. | ||
| Are they more reptile? | ||
| Yeah, I mean what a bird is is a dinosaur. | ||
| They're flying dinosaurs. | ||
| Yeah, look at this. | ||
| This eagle is riding this antelope's back and just it's got its claws dug into its back so you see all the blood pouring off the back and it's just digging into its body because those claws, the talons that an eagle has are so powerful. | ||
| So it's just riding this thing and then eating out of its rib cage while it's just slowly dying. | ||
| And that antelope can't do a goddamn thing to get away. | ||
| It's like one of those moving buffets that you're at. | ||
| You ever been at one of those? | ||
| Where the food moves by as you're eating it? | ||
| I got another video. | ||
| I'll send you this, Jamie. | ||
| There's a hawk that's eating a crow. | ||
| It holds the crow down. | ||
| And the crazy thing is it's not much smaller than the crow. | ||
| Or not much larger rather than the crow. | ||
| Which is wild. | ||
| Because it's just chewing this fucking thing apart. | ||
| Oh, I saw a bear climb into a tree yesterday. | ||
| I put it on my IG story and it was a bear. | ||
| You saw that? | ||
| No, no, that's not it. | ||
| I'm gonna send it to you. | ||
| Oh, I saved it. | ||
| Here, hold on a second. | ||
| I actually have the whole video. | ||
| Theo Bear? | ||
| Bear climbed up a tree and took a hawk out of its nest. | ||
| Uh, I think I did see that. | ||
| And ate it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| In front of people, right? | ||
| People, like, were watching it happen. | ||
| Some white guy was, you could hear him yelling. | ||
| I sent it to you, Jamie. | ||
| I sent you the video. | ||
| This video's rough. | ||
| And this is an urban environment. | ||
| This hawk just grabbed his crow and pinned him down and just started fucking him up in front of everybody. | ||
| Like at a mall or something? | ||
| It's like you eating a 140-pound man. | ||
| There's not enough difference in size where it makes sense. | ||
| It's so similar that it's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I didn't get it. | ||
| You didn't get it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you text it? | |
| Yeah, I texted it. | ||
| Was cannibalism ever popular? | ||
| Was it ever the way to do dinner or whatever? | ||
| Was it ever part of... | ||
| Like society? | ||
| Or not society, because I guess it would be before society, but was it ever a popular thing? | ||
| Yeah, it was popular. | ||
| Fuck, it's crazy. | ||
| Papua New Guinea had one, this is it, look at this. | ||
| So look at the size of the crow. | ||
| It's basically similar size, man, right? | ||
| Oh, he's got him. | ||
| He's got him, but look, not much difference in size. | ||
| He's in mount, huh? | ||
| He's mounting him. | ||
| Yeah, he's fucked. | ||
| But look at this poor crow. | ||
| And if you hear it, give me some volume. | ||
| Turn it from the beginning, because in the beginning you hear the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's the crow saying, fuck! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's holding his mouth shut. | |
| No, he's holding his neck. | ||
| Animals should be able to say fuck at least once, huh? | ||
| You should. | ||
| Right before they die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fuck! | ||
| I mean, that's basically what he's saying. | ||
| But look, see the blood coming out of his neck? | ||
| See, it's leaking out onto the ground? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Because of the talons. | ||
| The hawk's eyes are what haunt me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at those eyes. | |
| Those eyes don't give a fuck about anybody or anything. | ||
| Those are some horrific eyeballs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That crow's like, fuck this. | ||
| He's trying to eat his eyes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They'll eat his eyes first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh, come on, man. | ||
| Yeah, look. | ||
| He's doing claws right into the eyes. | ||
| But see, they're not... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The thing that's crazy is that it doesn't seem like a thing that he would eat. | |
| Because it's basically the size of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And why do you think they're angry at each other? | ||
| It's just one's a predator, and the other one's just a very clever sort of opportunist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, crows will fuck things up, too, but they just don't have the weaponry. | ||
| Yeah, they do it more in groups, and they seem kind of like... | ||
| They're just smart. | ||
| They seem very smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And who else? | ||
| Oh, he's getting his eyes with the fucking towels. | ||
| Oh, look at this, huh? | ||
| It's probably a hat, a watermark for some website or something. | ||
| It's just so interesting how, like, people have evolved and how some places they're still, like, it's, oh, it's part of the, it's okay to eat somebody else. | ||
| Dude, if you saw somebody eat someone, that would have to change everything you know in your brain about what's okay. | ||
| Well, if you're starving to death, man, I guarantee you people, well, that was one of the things during Stalin's Russia, when people were starving, a lot of people ate their own children. | ||
| I mean, it got rough. | ||
| Raccoons eat their own, you know, sometimes the man raccoon will come in, eat the woman's children, so that she'll have to go into heat again so that they can have sex. | ||
| Bears do that. | ||
| Bears do that. | ||
| A lot of animals do that. | ||
| They force the animal into estrus. | ||
| Well, I told you too about that time. | ||
| Remember that I was at that Best Buy and I'd been on that fast for five days and I almost fucking wanted to eat that Vietnamese guy. | ||
| And I'd never thought about that before. | ||
| Why'd you go on a fast for five days? | ||
| I was going to go longer, but I couldn't do it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So this is like a cleansing type fast? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've done 24 hours. | ||
| That's the most I've ever done. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They say that it can help cure cancers and stuff like that. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| There's science to that, that your body, I forget what the type of cells that your body consumes, but when you are fasting during that period, your body will consume bad cells. | ||
| That's one of the first things it does. | ||
| Oh, it gets rid of them? | ||
| Yeah, it gets rid of things that are problems in your body. | ||
| That's why they say it's a benefit. | ||
| But it's not a benefit to do it a lot, you know, it's just a benefit to do it on a, you know, like a fairly, you know, stretched out basis. | ||
| Like people do it like once or twice a year without going like a three or four day fast. | ||
| But you went on five, huh? | ||
| Yeah, I wish I could do longer because, yeah, your senses start to get real, you know, you start to think you have like kind of like... | ||
| ESP? A little bit. | ||
| You know, hunters think that, that you should hunt hungry. | ||
| Like a lot of guys like to hunt hungry. | ||
| I could see that. | ||
| Yeah, when they go out and hunt, they like to have no breakfast in them. | ||
| Oh, I can see that for sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's a different sort of mindset. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about that primal side of stuff, you know? | ||
| Getting real primal and getting back to your roots. | ||
| I remember I'd wake up in the morning if I'm fast, and I'd wake up in the morning just ready to go. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, you're just like... | ||
| How come you only did it once? | ||
| I probably got busy doing other stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe it was that feeling of eating that guy that fucked with you. | |
| It could have been. | ||
| It could have fucked with my subconscious. | ||
| But it's crazy to think that you'd never thought about something and it comes into your head. | ||
| It just shows you how quickly you could devolve, you know? | ||
| And you take it very seriously. | ||
| I took it... | ||
| I took it seriously. | ||
| I didn't tell him. | ||
| It's not something you want to tell somebody if they're on afternoon shift. | ||
| I mean, I think, yeah, I didn't tell him. | ||
| Maybe you should tell him after you eat. | ||
| Go to Arby's real quick. | ||
| Bye-bye. | ||
| Hey, bud, I was here earlier. | ||
| Maybe I looked at you weird. | ||
| I want to apologize for that. | ||
| Just want to let you know. | ||
| I was on a five-day fast, and you were looking like a snack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder what he would think. | |
| He'd be like, fuck this job. | ||
| I gotta quit. | ||
| This whole neighborhood, this town sucks. | ||
| I gotta get out of here. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if shit's gonna start getting weird. | ||
| I think some people want stuff to start getting weird. | ||
| I think we are designed to... | ||
| Do you want another one of those? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those coffees? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| We get a couple of those. | ||
| Do you want the chocolate kind or the vanilla kind? | ||
| Is that vanilla? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I've had the vanilla. | ||
| Let me try vanilla again. | ||
| Because I didn't taste it that much. | ||
| Get them one vanilla and two chocolates. | ||
| Yeah, thanks, man. | ||
| Because I like the chocolate ones. | ||
| Those are those Black Rifle Coffee 300 mg of caffeine jammies. | ||
| I cut mine in half with water. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little bit of this, a little bit of that. | ||
| Yeah, that's how I did it, man. | ||
| Lighten it up like a gin and tonic, that kind of deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, scotch and soda, right? | ||
| Yeah, I like to cut it down. | ||
| I'm real sensitive to stuff. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, things get me. | ||
| What, that smelling salt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wanna hit another? | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'll hit that bitch, son. | ||
| Okay, when Jamie comes back, right before we have the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shout out to Juju Mufu. | |
| Is that how you say his name? | ||
| Yeah, Juju Mufu. | ||
| Juju Mufu. | ||
| Juju Mufu's stuff is ridiculous. | ||
| I'm gonna have to call my sponsor after this. | ||
| The chocolate ones are good, man. | ||
| I know you're committed to that vanilla, but these chocolate ones... | ||
| Alright, I'll try it. | ||
| I'm trying new stuff these days. | ||
| Chocolates are the bomb diggity. | ||
| This is my favorite. | ||
| It's, um... | ||
| It's espresso. | ||
| Okay, there's the juju mufu, the ah. | ||
| Ooh, this is good, huh? | ||
| Fuck ya, dude. | ||
| This is good, right? | ||
| Dude, um, I went and did an ayahuasca, man. | ||
| I don't know if I told you about that. | ||
| When did you do it? | ||
| I did it a couple months ago. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, had you ever done it fully? | ||
| No, I've never done ayahuasca. | ||
| I've only done DMT, but I got a guy out here now. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, so if you want to do it, it's one more reason to move here. | ||
| Damn, you're trying to get me in, huh? | ||
| I'm trying to weasel you in. | ||
| Look, man, I definitely miss a lot of the camaraderie and stuff, you know? | ||
| The camaraderie is nice because it's like we had a thing at the Comedy Store that was very, very unusual for comedy. | ||
| And it was good. | ||
| It was really good. | ||
| And the times had changed to the point where comedians were beneficial to each other because of podcasts and, you know, we were all, like, helping each other as opposed to, like, competing for, like, Scraps, which is like during the 90s and the 2000s. | ||
| Everybody was trying to get a sitcom. | ||
| They were competing with each other. | ||
| It was like a lot of animosity. | ||
| But then in the late 2000s, like in the 2015s and 16s, everybody had already realized, like, no, no, no. | ||
| There's no struggle here. | ||
| We all help each other. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| And then we'd go and laugh and have fun. | ||
| It would just make you excited about what you did for a living. | ||
| You wanted to go there all the time and just... | ||
| The hang was some of the most fun part, like hanging out with Burr and smoking cigars and, you know, that back porch area. | ||
| Everybody would be chilling and smoking weed, laughing. | ||
| And Gay Jeff was out there. | ||
| Remember him, the pianist? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, man. | |
| I miss Jeff. | ||
| Sorry, what's his last name? | ||
| I shouldn't call him Gay Jeff. | ||
| Probably a bad idea since he's gone. | ||
| But he loved to be gay. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Jeff Scott. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And I'd say that yes. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| He loved to be gay. | ||
| So... | ||
| Well, he loved to be himself. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, and the fact that he was loved and accepted and no one gave a shit if he was gay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had HIV. I would split joints with him all the time. | ||
| We'd pass joints around. | ||
| I don't know if you remember, but during the 90s, I remember when I got my first AIDS test, I was like, shit, I'm fucking nervous. | ||
| I am nervous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, because I was like, at the time, I think I was 23, and you think about all the days on the road where you're in a town and you meet a nice lady and you're in New Hampshire and no one has a condom and you're like, fuck it. | ||
| They don't even have condoms up there. | ||
| They do, but they're made out of sheepskin. | ||
| But the truck broke down and didn't get the condoms there that year. | ||
| It was different times, bro. | ||
| Couldn't make it up before the snow. | ||
| Condom trucks sidetracked. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Dude, I remember getting a test just from even masturbating. | ||
| I remember I got tested. | ||
| I was so scared. | ||
| I was just worried that I'd gotten something in my hand or I'd done something, you know? | ||
| I just got so much fear, you know? | ||
| But I remember getting tested. | ||
| I remember talking to Jerry O'Connell one time. | ||
| Do you know who that is? | ||
| Yeah, the actor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From Stand By Me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Really awesome guy and he talked about living in New York City in his building during the AIDS epidemic and he said like half the people in his building died. | ||
| Like half of his neighbors died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| And he said it was just so wild when he was a kid like that these people he knew and they just started to disappear. | ||
| Didn't you interview Robert Kennedy Jr.? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His voice is getting better. | ||
| I just texted with him. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But his story about Anthony Fauci, that book, which talks about why those people were dying, because they were all on AZT. And AZT was that cancer medication. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was a chemotherapy medication they stopped giving to people because it was killing them quicker than cancer was. | ||
| And they started giving it to people who had AIDS. And it was helping them. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, it wasn't? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| It was killing them. | ||
| And they were giving it to people that had no symptoms. | ||
| So they just tested HIV positive. | ||
| They'd give them AZT and it was just killing them. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because you used to hear AZT was what cured HIV. No. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| AZT they abandoned. | ||
| They abandoned because it was too harsh. | ||
| But Fauci pushed it during the early days of the AIDS pandemic. | ||
| The AIDS epidemic was rough, man. | ||
| I mean, obviously, no one knew exactly what was going on. | ||
| You can't fault people for trying different things out and trying different strategies out to contain the virus. | ||
| But according to Robert Kennedy Jr., there's a lot more to it than that. | ||
| Yeah, he's a really interesting guy. | ||
| I know him just even as friends. | ||
| He's got some fascinating stories, even from growing up. | ||
| They used to take these homing pigeons and they would give them to the train conductor and have them take them like 100 miles or something, him and his friend. | ||
| And whoever's got back first won. | ||
| So it was just like this cool game they would play. | ||
| Isn't that wild that a pigeon can use the magnetic field of the earth and they track it like a GPS system straight back to you? | ||
| And we have to pay a million dollars to build something like that. | ||
| And God did it in a fucking nut. | ||
| Well, they think that people had some kind of ability to like know where they were and know where they were going. | ||
| We just lost it. | ||
| Which makes sense to me because now that I have navigation, like even in Austin, I've been in Austin for two years. | ||
| I barely know how to get around. | ||
| I know how to get to work. | ||
| I know how to get to the clubs. | ||
| I know how to get to the restaurants that I like. | ||
| Other than that, I don't know where the fuck I'm going. | ||
| But when I lived in Massachusetts, back in the day when there was no navigation, I knew how to get everywhere. | ||
| I knew the 405, whatever the roads were. | ||
| I forget the roads. | ||
| But I don't think it's good for us having navigation because here's what I notice. | ||
| So I'll use navigation, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So now I know that my computer's telling me where to go. | ||
| So now my brain is free to just think about whatever. | ||
| And sometimes my brain will use that time to think about negative. | ||
| It gets ended up getting the negative stuff. | ||
| Whereas it used to be if my brain had a task. | ||
| And it was having to pay attention to where I was going, then I felt like it was better for my brain because it was busy. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Your brain has to be busy with a task or it thinks negative. | ||
| I think, well, it's one of the things that I think these days it's like... | ||
| You know, like a long time ago, I think, I wasn't alive, but like a long time ago, I think that our senses have to be in the world. | ||
| Like, we had to be aware if there were lions, what the weather was going to be like, where our kids were at our hip, like... | ||
| You're in the moment. | ||
| You're in the moment. | ||
| You had to survive. | ||
| Like, you know, it was different. | ||
| And now, since most of our comforts are met in America... | ||
| I feel sometimes like those senses didn't disappear. | ||
| I feel like they just went inside of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So now they're hunting like any uncomfort that comes up inside of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So I think it's like why we have so much more mental health struggles because we're still like as alert as ever. | ||
| But the only fearful things are inside of us now for some reason for some people. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| You know, I was listening to some guy talk about anxiety the other day, and one of the things that he was talking about with anxiety, he said, it's basically people's desire and ability to problem solve for the future. | ||
| So you start thinking about what may or may not happen in the future, and you get anxiety. | ||
| In the past, you had to dwell on exactly what was in front of you right there and then. | ||
| Like, I'm hungry, my children are hungry, I gotta find an animal and kill it and figure out how to cook it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that was what people occupied their day with. | ||
| And then when all that's gone, you could just go to McDonald's and feed yourself for three bucks and you're sitting there fat and full, and then you're just thinking. | ||
| You start thinking about weird shit. | ||
| Yeah, because whatever your natural instincts, they don't have any... | ||
| They're like, what the fuck do I do? | ||
| I need to still hunt something. | ||
| I need to still kill something. | ||
| So they start hunting you. | ||
| Ooh, they start hunting your fears. | ||
| You start creating problems. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Well, that's why I'm a big advocate of working out really hard. | ||
| Oh, dude, bro, it is. | ||
| I can't even tell you. | ||
| I don't know how I forgot it. | ||
| I mean, I was a fucking dude. | ||
| We used to, you know, good, dude. | ||
| We used to fucking go, you know, I remember driving to the Taco Bell and fucking doing steroids in the car, bro. | ||
| We used to fucking... | ||
| You know what I'm saying, bro? | ||
| Taco Bell parking lot? | ||
| Dog, I'd do 50 MLs just to fucking put down a fucking Mexican pizza. | ||
| Wow, he was ready to get jacked. | ||
| How big were you at one point in time? | ||
| Do you have any photos? | ||
| Yeah, I think there's some old images out there. | ||
| Theo jacked, maybe. | ||
| Any posing photos? | ||
| Oh no, nothing like that, bro. | ||
| Like them brown sugar babies. | ||
| I didn't do all of that, bro. | ||
| Out there just black bodying. | ||
| A buddy of mine sent me, a buddy of mine that I used to compete with back in the day, sent me some photos of me and him at the Bay State Games from 1986. Ooh, the Bay State Games. | ||
| That sounds... | ||
| Yeah, I'll send it to you, Jamie. | ||
| I was probably 202. Yeah? | ||
| Jacked. | ||
| Oh dude, I was fucking jacked. | ||
| I could fucking chew on my traps. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Just reach over and take a bite? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Oh, fucking goodness. | ||
| Do you miss those days? | ||
| Well, I don't in some ways because I was doing some type of testosterone or something. | ||
| So you get a little bit jacked, but then when you come off it, it was a little tougher, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You'd be depressed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I miss some of those days. | ||
| The thing I realized I missed also was the camaraderie of just being in the gym and getting those devils out. | ||
| Yeah, and hanging out with other people that are doing the same thing you're doing. | ||
| Yeah, and joking around. | ||
| You realize, oh, I'm okay. | ||
| See, that's me with the blue jacket on. | ||
| On the right? | ||
| Yeah, the far right. | ||
| Damn, dog. | ||
| You was fine, bro. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| That was cutie. | ||
| That's my friend. | ||
| Well, go back to that other picture, please. | ||
| That's my friend Larry Jones to the right. | ||
| I've talked about it many times. | ||
| Look how tall his legs are. | ||
| Look at that guy, Larry. | ||
| On the left? | ||
| To my right. | ||
| Yeah, he's to the left of me in the photograph, or we're looking at it this way. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| But to my physical right. | ||
| Oh, we got them long. | ||
| Look at his legs! | ||
| His legs go all the way up to my tits. | ||
| And he's only like six inches taller than me, but his legs were way taller. | ||
| He had like extra foot-long legs. | ||
| And then the dude next to him, I forget his name, the guy with the green belt, but the guy with the red belt, that's my friend Tom. | ||
| He's the one who sent me the photo, Tom or Dogna, and he's the guy with the mustache. | ||
| And next to him, that's Sidley. | ||
| And Sidley and me. | ||
| And then Junkzik, I've talked about him many times. | ||
| It's the guy that I've got my left arm on. | ||
| He's the guy that was in med school while he was competing. | ||
| So this guy was a national champion while he was going through med school. | ||
| Gang, baby. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Most disciplined person I ever met in my life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Couldn't believe- To this day, I think about him if I ever think that I work hard. | ||
| That motherfucker was always tired. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And won the national championship. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Always tired. | ||
| Going to med school. | ||
| Always tired. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it worked. | ||
| He would be practicing, doing his studies, and then he would put all of his books in a backpack and run up and down the stairs. | ||
| Did you show that other photo? | ||
| And so this was like when I was, I think this is 86, so I was 19. And what would y'all do? | ||
| What kind of lunch would y'all eat? | ||
| So that is me waiting to compete, I think, probably. | ||
| This one's Subway was big too, I bet, huh? | ||
| We all have a lot of Subway subs. | ||
| I don't know if Subway was big back then. | ||
| I don't think it existed. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Jared didn't really sink Subway. | ||
| You would think that that scandal would have sunk Subway. | ||
| I wonder if it took a hit off their business. | ||
| Your spokesmom was out there fucking kids. | ||
| Yeah, that's a... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know if that will sink a business. | ||
| I guess it depends on what it is. | ||
| Yeah, it depends on the business. | ||
| We just went to Jimmy John's summer camp the other day. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He does a summer camp for his friends and family. | ||
| I met Jimmy John. | ||
| He's friends with Kid Rock. | ||
| Yeah, he's friends with Bob. | ||
| Have you met him? | ||
| With Bob. | ||
| Yeah, you call him Kid Rock Bob. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has a dinner table at his house now. | ||
| His new house got built or whatever. | ||
| The White House. | ||
| It's insane, bro. | ||
| It's a replica of the White House. | ||
| I talked about it. | ||
| He took me for a tour. | ||
| It's the wildest shit ever. | ||
| Bro, yeah. | ||
| How about that gold elevator in the middle of the house? | ||
| There's a gold bathroom, all gold. | ||
| Yes, yes, all gold. | ||
| The gold shower. | ||
| It's a golden shower. | ||
| He goes, get it? | ||
| And I was like, I get it. | ||
| But nobody fucking has that kind of money and has that kind of sensibility to do that. | ||
| Only Kid Rock would make that house. | ||
| It's a 27,000 square foot house with two bedrooms. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy, man. | ||
| Does he have any photos of it online? | ||
| It's the craziest fucking house I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| I have a good... | ||
| He has a dining table upstairs. | ||
| And it's beautiful. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| It spins on a big circle so you can pass by the view. | ||
| And you go in circles so you keep passing by the view. | ||
| It's really nice. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| Oh, so the actual floor spins... | ||
| So it's like one of those restaurants at the top of a building. | ||
| Remember they used to have those? | ||
| Those things that never panned out? | ||
| They never panned out. | ||
| Nobody wanted to just spin around while they're eating dinner. | ||
| You get sick. | ||
| Yeah, you go to the bathroom, you come back, you don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. | ||
| Where's my fucking table? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't find my family. | |
| Every kid's just messing up there. | ||
| Yeah, that was like one of those novelties that didn't really work out. | ||
| People were really into that for a while, though. | ||
| Yeah, people were, man. | ||
| They had one in New Orleans for a while. | ||
| But yeah, Bob's got it nice. | ||
| It's really set up over there. | ||
| But yeah, we went to Jimmy John's summer camp. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| Got some fishing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And caught some different types of fish. | ||
| Got to go fishing with Emeril. | ||
| You know the Chef Emeril? | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| He's from Boston. | ||
| Yeah, that guy, Emeril, what is his last name? | ||
| He used to have a TV show for a while. | ||
| Lagasse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, he had a TV show for a while. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| We'd say BAM all the time. | ||
| That was his thing. | ||
| BAM. Yeah, dude. | ||
| It was a catchphrase. | ||
| We caught a fish with him. | ||
| I put it up on my IG. Well, we caught, we went out there to caught some fish. | ||
| But that was really fun. | ||
| Who was the first celebrity chef? | ||
| Was it Julia Child? | ||
| Probably somebody in the Bible, huh? | ||
| Oh, more futuristic? | ||
| In terms of television. | ||
| She was probably the first... | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Remember Julia Child? | ||
| Nuh-uh, man. | ||
| She was a lady cooking on television. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She comes up and I type in who about first celebrity chef. | |
| I remember Tracy Ullman. | ||
| Remember her? | ||
| She was a comedian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She wasn't a chef. | ||
| But it was like the first woman that I heard on TV. What about I Love Lucy? | ||
| Oh, no, I didn't know her. | ||
| I mean, I've seen clips. | ||
| But she was hot, I thought, huh? | ||
| You like Tracy Ullman or I Love Lucy? | ||
| I Love Lucy. | ||
| Yeah, back in the day. | ||
| She was hot and funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So was Mary Tyler Moore. | ||
| Remember her? | ||
| I remember. | ||
| I heard about her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I was a kid, we used to watch the Mary Tyler Moore show. | ||
| She worked in a newsroom. | ||
| It was weird because there was a show, like, she had a boss that was Ed Asner was her boss. | ||
| I forget what his name was on the show. | ||
| Ed Asner. | ||
| But then they did another show with him where it was a serious show. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it went from him being her boss on a sitcom to him playing the same guy without Mary Tyler Moore, and it wasn't funny at all. | ||
| It was two different shows. | ||
| It was a drama. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| It was like Lou something or another. | ||
| What was his fucking name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lou Grant. | |
| Lou Grant. | ||
| But he played the same character? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's weird. | ||
| Well, it wasn't just weird. | ||
| It was like they completely flipped it on its head because it wasn't funny. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So in Mary Tyler Moore, it was a comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mary worked in the newsroom, and Lou Grant was the boss, and there was all these dilemmas. | ||
| Like, what do I do? | ||
| And then Lou Grant does a show, but it's serious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, what are you doing? | ||
| And they didn't know. | ||
| Yeah, it's like as if Archie Bunker left the family, all in the family, and all of a sudden he's a serious guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, without the family to joke around, without his fucking racist jokes. | ||
| But he's still the same guy. | ||
| He's still the same guy. | ||
| Same character. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be crazy. | ||
| And it's not funny anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like if Archie Bunker were on In the Heat of the Night. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you were like, he's just like, what? | ||
| Instead of... | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Oh, Carol O'Connor? | ||
| Carol O'Connor, yeah. | ||
| Well, that was the same guy though, right? | ||
| Same guy, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But a different... | ||
| Like, people didn't want that show, though. | ||
| I loved Carol O'Connor. | ||
| Yeah, but nobody wanted that Heat of the Night show. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| Where's the fucking Archie Bunker? | ||
| But by the time the 80s rolled around, you couldn't do that character anymore. | ||
| Oh, the Archie Bunker character? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God, it was so good. | ||
| That was a 1970s show. | ||
| That was back in the day when Red Fox had Sanford and Son. | ||
| Like, you could have wild shit. | ||
| You could say wild shit on TV still. | ||
| Do you think that kind of stuff will come back, though? | ||
| It'll come back on YouTube. | ||
| Like, that's kind of what Gillian Keeves are doing. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, Shane Gillis. | ||
| He's... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Those sketches are wild. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| Them guys are amazing, man. | ||
| He's so funny, man. | ||
| His stand-up is so fucking funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, when I see guys like him coming up, it gives me a lot of hope. | ||
| A lot of hope because people still want to see that kind of comedy. | ||
| They still want to see wild comedy. | ||
| And he's a great guy, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Great, great fucking guy. | ||
| Yeah, Shane's great to be around, man. | ||
| I like being around him. | ||
| He really just... | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| People like him. | ||
| He's kind of, like, tall and kind of chubby, you know? | ||
| So it's just a cool... | ||
| You don't see that very often. | ||
| He's getting jacked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's been working out a lot. | |
| Is he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's working out like crazy. | ||
| Wow, for what? | ||
| Just for... | ||
| To get healthy again. | ||
| Oh, dang. | ||
| Still drinks so much, though. | ||
| Yeah, he's good at it. | ||
| I've never seen anybody better. | ||
| He's such a... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He reminds me of, I guess, a character that I knew growing up or something. | ||
| He doesn't seem like a real person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Have you seen the numbers that he puts down? | ||
| We do podcasts together. | ||
| We have this thing, Protect Our Parks. | ||
| We do it. | ||
| It's Ari Shafir, Shane, and Mark Norman. | ||
| And we get blitzkrieged. | ||
| We just get super high and talk crazy shit. | ||
| And Ari tried to compete beer for beer with Shane. | ||
| And Shane put him on the map. | ||
| Oh, Shane was still talking and coherent, 16, 17 beers in, and Ari was throwing up in a... | ||
| Shane will start a fucking family on a case of beer, dude. | ||
| He's just got that in him. | ||
| I don't understand how he does it, but we had a cooler, and Ari's throwing up in the cooler. | ||
| He's lying down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard about that. | |
| He fell asleep on the floor of the podcast studio. | ||
| We left him here, and I told Jeff, I'm like, you gotta check in on him every couple minutes just to make sure he's not dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Usually he swallows his own tongue or something. | ||
| Oh, that'd be the worst, huh? | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't want him to die. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| No, I wouldn't want him to die either, man. | ||
| And I think that Shane is like, yeah, Shane seems like he could start a family. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Look at him, blacked out, angry. | ||
| Look at his face. | ||
| He's upset. | ||
| And look at his pills next to him in that thing. | ||
| Is that pills? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I shouldn't have said that. | ||
| We don't know it's pills, but it's... | ||
| What is that thing? | ||
| It's like a hangover medication type thing. | ||
| You put it in like effervescent. | ||
| Oh, he came prepared, huh? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They're already drinking it. | ||
| He's cheating, dude. | ||
| Have USADA checking, bro. | ||
| That was fucking cheating. | ||
| Look at this stack of empties next to Shane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I mean, how does he do that and not piss? | ||
| I mean, he's a big, big guy on top of that. | ||
| What if you don't piss? | ||
| What happens to you? | ||
| You die. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's so many fucking ways to die, man. | ||
| One of Dom Irera's buddies held his piss too much and wound up having to get a catheter. | ||
| He like ruptured his bladder. | ||
| He did something really fucked up. | ||
| Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, you gotta pee, right? | ||
| You're a regular guy, you gotta pee, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you just say, you know what, this isn't enough pee inside of me, I'm gonna go back to sleep, I'm gonna ride the bag a little. | ||
| I just get up. | ||
| Every time? | ||
| Every time. | ||
| Oh man, I don't think you should do that all the time. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Sometimes you gotta fucking ride that bag, homie. | ||
| No. | ||
| And then you won't sleep good. | ||
| I need sleep. | ||
| Takes me 30 seconds to piss. | ||
| I get up, I piss, go right back to sleep. | ||
| Can you go right back to sleep? | ||
| Like a brick. | ||
| Do you sleep on your back? | ||
| No. | ||
| If I do, my wife elbows me. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Because I snore. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If I sleep on my back, I'm making some noise. | ||
| I gotta sleep on my side. | ||
| Yeah, I wish there was more ways to sleep. | ||
| How would you like to do it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just wish you could do it in different forms. | ||
| You could do it sitting up. | ||
| You could do it just leaning against something. | ||
| You could do it upside down. | ||
| I think because then you would be able to do more things with your body to get the blood in different parts. | ||
| Can you imagine if you didn't have to sleep? | ||
| If there was a pill that they could give you that would eliminate your need for sleep, you would have eight whole more hours to do whatever you want during the day. | ||
| Like, imagine if you didn't get tired like that. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| You don't want that? | ||
| No, because what I'm gonna end up doing is, I'm gonna end up doing... | ||
| There's no way if I had eight more hours I wouldn't cheat on my wife. | ||
| I don't have a wife, but if you gave me eight more hours in a day, dude... | ||
| That would be it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It would be fucking... | |
| It's so hard for a guy to get through 16 without fucking, like, doing an eight ball or fucking running around on his leg. | ||
| Shooting at cops? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You give him eight more hours? | |
| Eight more hours he's gonna get in a shootout. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro, half the dudes are gonna check out. | |
| We can't handle it. | ||
| It's already too hard, man. | ||
| Yeah, armed robbery. | ||
| You gotta do something. | ||
| Dude, isn't it weird how guys... | ||
| Like, if you look at some of these guys, like Elon Musk, Facebook... | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Mark. | ||
| Zuckerberg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then the other guy... | ||
| They look like aliens, bro. | ||
| Their body is white. | ||
| They're really... | ||
| It's because they work all day. | ||
| If you look at Elon when he was out on that yacht, those photos they took of him, that motherfucker looks like he hasn't seen the sunlight in years. | ||
| Years. | ||
| His body has not been exposed to sun. | ||
| You can't fake that. | ||
| That whiteness, that's a wild whiteness. | ||
| Well, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's almost an extraterrestrial whiteness. | ||
| It's the whiteness you see when you see an alien. | ||
| It's paper. | ||
| That's what I'm telling you is that these guys are... | ||
| You know, I believe that autism is like kind of the next, there's kind of a space where there is like man and machine. | ||
| And that's a lot of autism. | ||
| A lot of autism, you see these guys who will do the calculations and they'll be able to, you know, figure things out. | ||
| They're almost a little bit more of a computer than a person or they're somewhere in the middle, kind of. | ||
| Like they're more advanced than us. | ||
| They're eliminating the emotions that hold people back. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so when you get that, and you get some of these guys that are like that, I think that's kind of the next evolution, and that's closer, really, to aliens, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you see aliens, they're not like, oh, fuck, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Been a long day. | ||
| Scratching their balls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's an interesting thing that I thought of too. | ||
| They're doing business, man. | ||
| Is that maybe that's like the next level of evolution is that like there's more of a separation between emotional anxiety and instead concentrating on calculations and numbers and... | ||
| Accomplishments. | ||
| I mean, just think about all the different things that Elon does simultaneously. | ||
| That's what's wild. | ||
| Like, that doesn't seem like a normal human being would have the capacity to develop rockets while he's developing electric cars, while he's developing Neuralink, which is like a human computer brain interface, while he's developing the boring company where he's trying to solve traffic problems. | ||
| While he's in the Mediterranean? | ||
| Yeah, with his shirt off. | ||
| Looking like a sheet. | ||
| Risking it all. | ||
| Going crazy. | ||
| Out there for one minute in the sun at that level. | ||
| You see there's a story that came out that said that he's not friends with the guy from Google anymore because he had an affair with his wife. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| And then he just tweeted, he goes, this fucking totally bullshit. | ||
| He goes, I am friends with the guy. | ||
| I was just hanging out with him last night. | ||
| And he's like, I've only seen his wife with other people around like two or three times ever. | ||
| Oh, it's all fiction? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He goes, I haven't seen her in years. | ||
| Oh, that's fiction. | ||
| Like, he tweeted about it. | ||
| He's like, this is just a lie. | ||
| Like, they just make up lies. | ||
| Like, people just make up shit about him. | ||
| Imagine if he was just made shit up about you and then printed it in the fucking... | ||
| What was it in? | ||
| Was it in the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was it in the... | |
| It was the Wall Street Journal. | ||
| Wall Street Journal. | ||
| But isn't that, I mean, now it's like there's bots making stories. | ||
| So soon I feel like there's going to be a story for everything that's going to be out there and people are just going to be clear. | ||
| It's like there's no, is there even any real, you know, what recourse do you even have these days? | ||
| Well, he could sue. | ||
| He could definitely sue. | ||
| A story like that is defamatory. | ||
| But all they have to do is say that they have a source. | ||
| But, I mean, you gotta check with him, I think, before you print something like that. | ||
| But the thing is, like, the concern is that what those stories do, like, I think he made some sort of reference to short sellers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, like, someone who's, like, shorting the stock. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So you could say, you could make an argument that if the stock crashes, That you could make a lot of money on that. | ||
| And if you made a story that made Elon look like he's out of control, he's losing his mind, people would go, oh boy, I'm going to get rid of my stock because this CEO is out of his fucking mind. | ||
| And then you're shorting the stock. | ||
| And so then the stock crashes, and then the people that shorted the stock wound up making a shitload of money. | ||
| You could make an argument that someone would write, I'm not saying they did, but someone would write a defamatory story just so that they could profit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You could do that today. | ||
| Oh, if I'm running a business and I have access to somebody who has a PR arm, I would do that kind of stuff. | ||
| I feel like a lot of stuff is all kind of sneakily tied in. | ||
| You don't really realize it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| That was one of the things that came out about Bill Gates, that Bill Gates had heavily invested in some fund, and this fund had been attacking Elon, because he has a short position on Tesla stock. | ||
| Elon had a conversation with Bill Gates. | ||
| It was a public thing, because Bill Gates asked him to invest in one of his philanthropic... | ||
| the word came out wrong. | ||
| Philanthropic adventures. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And Elon Musk asked him, do you still have a short position on Tesla? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it's like Tesla, he shorted it like a billion dollars. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a big position. | ||
| And he said, yeah, I do, but what does that have to do with anything? | ||
| He's like, fuck off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not interested, bro. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| You're betting on me to lose. | ||
| Get out of here, pal. | ||
| Did you want him to buy Twitter? | ||
| I wish he would buy it and shut it down. | ||
| He might still buy it. | ||
| This whole thing that's going on right now, this is like, in my opinion, this is a way for us to find out exactly how many bots are on Twitter. | ||
| And this is the best way. | ||
| Because if he just bought it, then he would have to find out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He'd have to do some sort of internal examination. | ||
| But they claim that Twitter only has 5% bots. | ||
| He thinks it's far more than 5%, and he thinks that the way they determined 5% is not adequate. | ||
| I forget exactly what they did. | ||
| It was something like they took a random 100 accounts, and out of that 100 accounts, five of them were bullshit. | ||
| So they figured, well, that's probably 5%. | ||
| And he's like, that's not how you do it. | ||
| You need a really comprehensive way of examining all of the different people that may or may not be bots. | ||
| But the thing is, like, are they bots or are they on a troll farm? | ||
| Like, if it's in a troll farm, how do you even know if they're bots? | ||
| Like, how do you know if they're being paid to say what they're saying? | ||
| A lot of them are trying to fuck. | ||
| Usually a lot of the chick ones, you know, it's like sex. | ||
| Look at this or something, you know, and it's sex. | ||
| Right, but they're not really trying to fuck. | ||
| They're trying to fuck you out of your money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're trying to get your dumb ass to give them a credit card. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I'm having a hard time, my transmission broke. | ||
| And you're like, oh baby, I could take care of that. | ||
| That's crazy, huh? | ||
| That ain't nothing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Transmission, I only have about 900 bucks. | ||
| I got you. | ||
| Mail him a wrench. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| What about, um, but do you think, um, I wish he, what if he bought it and then shut it down? | ||
| Why would he do that? | ||
| Because then it's dead. | ||
| Yeah, but then he loses 44 billion dollars. | ||
| You're a terrible businessman. | ||
| But we don't have to fucking deal with Twitter anymore. | ||
| What about him? | ||
| He's out 44 billion. | ||
| You know how hard it is to make 44 billion? | ||
| You just give it away to kill Twitter. | ||
| He saved the world, though. | ||
| They would just make twatter. | ||
| And then everybody would hop on board with twatter because Twitter's not around anymore. | ||
| Yeah, same people would run it. | ||
| Listen, if they kill Twitter, those same social justice warrior executives, they'll get some fucking venture capitalists to fund some new thing, and they'll have some comprehensive, inclusive, new kind of social media platform where everybody's special. | ||
| Yeah, I guess I'm wondering if it should be shut down. | ||
| But I guess, yes, somebody would just make a new one. | ||
| Did you see that Reddit banned the use of the word groomer? | ||
| I looked into that a little bit. | ||
| That is what they were saying, but that's not quite what happened from what I was reading. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, what did you read? | |
| The screenshot that I've read on a few pages was from a subreddit, and the subreddit claimed that admins told them they couldn't do that stuff anymore, and they had to police their subreddit harder using those terms groomer. | ||
| Is there a lot of people grooming out there? | ||
| Is that kind of stuff growing, you think? | ||
| Well, the problem is people are using it as an anti-LBGTQ term. | ||
| They're talking about groomers as is someone trying to groom young kids and either make them gay or trans. | ||
| The problem with eliminating the term groomer is what about some grown man who's grooming young girls and trying to fuck them? | ||
| Because that's real. | ||
| Like, that's a real thing. | ||
| I mean, there have been many young girls that have fallen victim to older men who come along and find some 14-year-old girl and get close to her and then wind up grooming her. | ||
| But it's a thing. | ||
| Grooming is a thing. | ||
| And I understand that it makes people uncomfortable that people connect it to LBGTQ people. | ||
| A lot of it is like TikTok. | ||
| Because people are seeing these people on TikTok. | ||
| With blue hair, screaming, all your children are going to be trans, and they freak out, and they're like, we've got to stop these groomers. | ||
| They're grooming our kids. | ||
| It's like, but how many fucking of them are there? | ||
| Like, and how much of this is just magnified by social media? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And how much of it is magnified by groups like TikTok, which, you know, are, oh my god, I read TikTok's terms of service. | ||
| I went down a TikTok rabbit hole yesterday. | ||
| Yeah, it's good. | ||
| I stayed home, smoked a little weed, and I started reading up on TikTok. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm going to read you this, because this is so crazy. | ||
| Is it good or bad? | ||
| Bad. | ||
| So what are you saying? | ||
| It's a bad place to be? | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| This is from TikTok's privacy policy. | ||
| All right. | ||
| It said, we collect certain information about the device you use to access the platform. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Such as your IP address, user region, this is really crazy, user agent, mobile carrier, time zone settings, identifiers for advertising purpose, model of your device, the device system, network type, device IDs, your screen resolution and operating system, app and file names and types. | ||
| So all your apps and all your file names, all the things you have filed away on your phone, they have access to that. | ||
| File names and types. | ||
| Keystroke patterns or rhythms. | ||
| So they're monitoring your keystrokes, which means they know every fucking thing you type. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Battery state, audio settings, and connected audio devices, where you log in from multiple devices. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| We may be able to use your profile information to identify your activity across devices. | ||
| We may also associate you with information collected from devices other than those you use to log into the platform, meaning they can use other computers that you're not even using to log into TikTok. | ||
| They can suck the data off that. | ||
| That's what you're agreeing to. | ||
| When you download and start using TikTok. | ||
| That's wild! | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| My question would be, do you think they did that, they created TikTok just on purpose to have all that? | ||
| 100%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| I think they saw that people are addicted to social media, and they came up with the most addictive version of social media, which is TikTok. | ||
| It's the most addictive by far. | ||
| It's the best for sucking people in. | ||
| My kids are fucking hook, line, and sinker on that shit. | ||
| And I know a lot of other people who are hook, line, and sinker to grown people. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| And it starts playing things immediately. | ||
| The moment you turn it on, it's like playing you a new thing, playing you a new thing. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| And you just sucked into it. | ||
| And all the while, it's monitoring your keystrokes, your audio settings. | ||
| By audio settings, that means it has access to your microphone. | ||
| That means it's listening to you right now. | ||
| Just tell me how it ends, man. | ||
| It ends with China having all of your data. | ||
| And if they develop a sort of digital currency... | ||
| If they get all the data, then what? | ||
| Then what? | ||
| Well, you're fucked. | ||
| Because if they... | ||
| Look, what's going on in China, I don't know if you've seen this, but they pulled tanks in front of banks to stop people from fucking rioting because they just took all their money. | ||
| Did you see all that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that shit? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They have shut down people's accounts, and they're doing a social credit score system in China, and they have digital currency. | ||
| Video of tanks shows Chinese military exercise, not bank barricade. | ||
| Yeah, according to China and the AP. But if you see what's going on over there with the digital currency, what they have is the ability to tell you you can't buy gas. | ||
| Like, hey, Theo, we don't like the way you're living your life, so you're not going to be able to buy a plane. | ||
| China's a dump, man. | ||
| I mean, there's cool people and I like some of the food, but I think it just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't like the way they're doing it all. | ||
| Any military exercise they're doing when they're putting tanks in front of a bank is intimidation at the very least. | ||
| Do you think the people there even know what freedom is anymore, or do you think they're just so brainwashed? | ||
| They've never had freedom like we have, so no. | ||
| I mean, they weren't even capitalists for a long time, right? | ||
| It was a communist country. | ||
| And then they realized, you know what? | ||
| In order to compete, we got to loosen this up a little bit and let some people get greedy and make a shitload of money. | ||
| And that's what they did. | ||
| They kind of have a hybrid of capitalism and communism. | ||
| You know, because in the old days, it was like the government would tell you what you do. | ||
| The government would tell you what you get paid. | ||
| And you just did what you had to do. | ||
| You did what you were told. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But what they do now is they allow people to get extraordinarily wealthy. | ||
| So some people, they develop industries, they develop businesses, and they work in conjunction with the government. | ||
| Every business that exists in China, say it's a tech business, you are an arm of the government. | ||
| You're not independent from the government. | ||
| That was the concern with Huawei. | ||
| Like when they were trying to, when they banned Huawei phones from being distributed in America. | ||
| Do you know about all that? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| It's not the gas station. | ||
| No, that's Huawei, right? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| You're talking about flip phones? | ||
| It's an H. No, they have super complex smartphones. | ||
| Like Huawei, it starts with an H. Huawei had some amazing phones. | ||
| Oh, Huawei. | ||
| Huawei, okay. | ||
| With an H. Okay. | ||
| And they had amazing phones that they were using, like, they had like 100 megapixel digital cameras before anybody did, really like high-end phones. | ||
| But they also had network devices that were stealing data. | ||
| Fancy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they were using them as spy devices. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know, like, all this shit that I was reading about TikTok? | ||
| Well, they have a similar situation with, like, their routers. | ||
| So that's spying. | ||
| So they're spying, basically. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But what do they do once they have all this information? | ||
| Like, what's the end goal to having it all? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| FBI found Huawei equipment in Midwest could disrupt nuclear communications, CNN. And that is from yesterday. | ||
| I'm going to send you this, Jamie. | ||
| I'm going to send you some new thing. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Dang. | ||
| Because this is really crazy. | ||
| This is some shit that they found out where the FBI director starts talking about... | ||
| I'll send you this, Jamie. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| The FBI director was talking about how bad the Chinese spying is on Americans, and he said it's bigger than every other country combined. | ||
| Why do they want to spy on us though? | ||
| Because what? | ||
| Because we are what? | ||
| Stealing intellectual property, stealing all your data, stealing credit card numbers, stealing where you're going, tracking you, if you're criticizing the Chinese government, like whatever the fuck you're in control. | ||
| So say one day they could like... | ||
| One day, would it be possible then, if they take all this information, that they could just, like, commandeer, like, say, like, a business's website, right? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Like Nike. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Listen to this guy talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Listen to this guy talk. | ||
| Go full screen. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Go full screen and then give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The biggest threat we face as a country from a counterintelligence perspective is from the People's Republic of China, and especially the Chinese Communist Party. | |
| No country presents a broader, more severe threat to our ideas, our innovation, our economic security than China. | ||
| And they are targeting our innovation, our trade secrets, our intellectual property, On a scale that's unprecedented in history. | ||
| They have a bigger hacking program than that of every other major nation combined. | ||
| They have stolen more of Americans' personal and corporate data than every nation combined. | ||
| What is the FBI doing about that? | ||
| So the FBI is keenly focused on the China counterintelligence threat. | ||
| We are now moving at a pace where we're opening a new China counterintelligence investigation about every 12 hours. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Every 12 hours. | ||
| So, like, say one day you could go to a website, right, to buy something, okay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And China has the information of the website. | ||
| It has your information. | ||
| And they could, wonder if they could, like, put their own website over it. | ||
| So you actually just buy it and they send it to you from China and they make the money and that company never even gets there. | ||
| I'm sure they could do that. | ||
| It'd be even worse. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| Maybe you develop something. | ||
| You develop some new innovative technology, but you develop it using an internet that's connected with Huawei devices or some other device that the Chinese government has infiltrated and put third-party access to. | ||
| So they infiltrate all of your secrets, and when you go to market, they've already created it. | ||
| So they already have put people to work building the thing that you have worked so hard to develop. | ||
| They put engineers on it, and they do it. | ||
| So all of our intellectual property, all of our creative pursuits in terms of innovation, they steal all that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they just build it over there. | ||
| They have Apple stores in China that have nothing to do with Apple. | ||
| Everything's counterfeit. | ||
| Oh, dude, one time I went to this Starbucks one time in Jamaica, right? | ||
| We went in there and somebody had just stolen a Starbucks sign and put it up outside of this place. | ||
| So we go in and the guy's like, welcome to the Starbucks Lounge! | ||
| He's like, can I get you a smoothie? | ||
| And it was in Jamaica? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he just had a Starbucks sign. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was like a smoothie shop, dude. | |
| It was so ridiculous, bro. | ||
| Well, other countries have like totally different rules in terms of what you can get away with and what you can. | ||
| And China's rules are wild. | ||
| You know, they have versions of world cities that they've built replicas of in China. | ||
| Like they have a version of Paris. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Google a Chinese version of Paris. | ||
| Because they have the kind of money they have in China, and because they have free reign to do whatever the fuck they want, they've literally built cities that they don't even use. | ||
| Oh, I wonder if... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you wondering? | |
| I'm trying to think what I'm wondering. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| The Eitel Tower left is one of Paris' most iconic landmarks. | ||
| The second largest replica in the world can be found in... | ||
| Boy, say that word. | ||
| Tianducheng? | ||
| Tianducheng. | ||
| Tianducheng. | ||
| After the Paris Las Vegas hotel in Nevada. | ||
| Look at that one on the right. | ||
| That is a fake Eiffel Tower. | ||
| It looks exactly like it. | ||
| But it's in China. | ||
| But that's just like us. | ||
| But look, they build the buildings. | ||
| Do you have to sign in for this shit? | ||
| Everything's like that. | ||
| But look, they made all the different buildings there. | ||
| That's what's wild. | ||
| Like they've recreated everything. | ||
| They've recreated, look at that. | ||
| I mean, that is fucking wild. | ||
| They recreate the building on the corner. | ||
| They recreate all this shit. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's in China. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's the... | ||
| It's a huge replica of Paris. | ||
| Like, they've literally reproduced Paris. | ||
| Well, dude, the one thing that's wild about China, you ride on the trains, and sometimes they have these buildings, and they're just, they built them, but there's no windows. | ||
| They're just, like, completely abandoned, but they're huge high-rises just everywhere. | ||
| There's nothing in them. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| That's what we're talking about. | ||
| Like, they have the ability to do stuff like that that we just don't have. | ||
| What do they do if somebody dies over there? | ||
| Do they bury them, or they don't care? | ||
| I mean, they can definitely make you disappear over there. | ||
| Do you know that bodies exhibit? | ||
| That was another thing that I went down a rabbit hole yesterday with. | ||
| Oh, the one that went around America? | ||
| Didn't go around America. | ||
| They're simultaneously going around the whole world, all over the place. | ||
| Body world or whatever. | ||
| They dissect the body and there's a process where they infuse the body with plastic. | ||
| Do you know where they get those bodies from? | ||
| Chinese unclaimed bodies. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Which include political prisoners. | ||
| I went three times, dude. | ||
| I went a couple times, too. | ||
| It was unbelievable. | ||
| You see the one with the baby in it? | ||
| Yeah, there's baby ones. | ||
| There's a bunch of them, but they're in all sorts of different countries simultaneously. | ||
| They're going on right now all over the world. | ||
| There's one that's permanently at the Luxor in Vegas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They have that one there. | ||
| They have them all over the world. | ||
| And they're bodies of prisoners. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's one where the guy's playing tennis. | ||
| That could be some guy who's a fucking tennis player banging some dude's wife. | ||
| He's like, oh, you think you're gonna fuck my wife? | ||
| And they just turn this dude into a plastic statue holding a tennis racket with his dick hanging out. | ||
| Yeah, and they even cut their dick down the middle. | ||
| They do things where if you found that in a warehouse, you would say, that guy's a serial killer. | ||
| But, you know, it's at the Luxor. | ||
| You're like, oh, I guess everything's cool. | ||
| It's pretty normal. | ||
| You have to pay. | ||
| You have to pay to get in here, so it must be normal. | ||
| We're getting acclimated to weird stuff being more normal. | ||
| That's the weirdest. | ||
| That was one of the weirdest things. | ||
| If you find out that these people most likely were executed, and some of them they found bullet holes in. | ||
| Oh, damn, dude. | ||
| Which makes sense, right? | ||
| I mean, if you're going to get a body from Chinese unclaimed bodies, which include prisoners. | ||
| Like a Ross dress for less? | ||
| Executed prisoners. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it's fucking bodies. | ||
| It's bodies. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And they've also like... | ||
| They're all smalls. | ||
| They connected one of the guys who sells the bodies to this Russian group that was using homeless people and prisoners. | ||
| And then they sell them the bodies. | ||
| And they take these bodies and they dump them into some vats. | ||
| See if they can find a thing on the process of plastinization. | ||
| Play it, plastinization, yeah. | ||
| We saw a dude in Albuquerque with a sword, man, late at night. | ||
| Take a hit. | ||
| Give me a hit, damn, dude. | ||
| Am I struggling that bad today? | ||
| No, no, you're not struggling at all. | ||
| That nicotine really got me. | ||
| Is that a new one, Jamie? | ||
| You opening up a new one? | ||
| No, it's the same. | ||
| But it has the label on it. | ||
| That's how strong this shit is. | ||
| It puts the label back on itself. | ||
| Yeah, it seals, reseals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ready? | |
| I can already feel it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| It was so bad. | ||
| It's so bad when it's... | ||
| Bro, I'm not joking, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not joking, dude. | |
| It's so sharp, right? | ||
| It's so sharp. | ||
| Yes, I feel like... | ||
| Jamie, you want some of those? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| What was the last time you had some? | ||
| I feel great. | ||
| Leave them alone, Joe. | ||
| Come on, give me a little hit. | ||
| I don't need it. | ||
| Come on, a little bit for me. | ||
| I could fake it. | ||
| It'll help you lift weights, Jamie. | ||
| I already did today. | ||
| I feel like a sword just came on me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A sword? | |
| It feels insane. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Put the lid on that, please. | ||
| You're going to take another one? | ||
| Oh my god, you're an animal. | ||
| I like to ride the fucking dark on me. | ||
| Does it get better the second time around? | ||
| It gets a little more manageable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Oof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel like they're moving furniture in my fucking DNA, baby. | |
| Yeah, that is not good. | ||
| Dude, yeah, you gotta have Bobby Kennedy on, man. | ||
| He's an interesting dude. | ||
| How did you meet him? | ||
| I met him just through, like, this... | ||
| I met him through just some other friends. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| He's just an interesting guy. | ||
| He's just so smart. | ||
| And he works with the environment, you know? | ||
| So his whole life has been about taking care of the environment. | ||
| Yeah, he was an environmentalist. | ||
| You're crying. | ||
| Are you emotional or just like freaking out because of the smelling salts? | ||
| I mean, I can get emotional sometimes, but I think the salts have got me. | ||
| And that thing made my heart slower. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so rough. | |
| It makes me never want to play golf, too, smoking that cigar. | ||
| So when you had him on, would you associate golf with cigars? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The cigar bothered you, too? | ||
| Rich people, you know, fucking, hey. | ||
| You love Clemson? | ||
| Making deals. | ||
| You go to Clemson or what? | ||
| It's Clemson. | ||
| Roll Tide. | ||
| Yeah, but he loves... | ||
| Well, he started with the environment outside of our bodies, and then... | ||
| So I think whenever everything happened with COVID, he was thinking about the environment inside of our bodies. | ||
| He's long been somebody that speaks out about... | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Inoculations. | ||
| Yeah, he was an environmental lawyer, right? | ||
| Dude, I got a buddy who was addicted to inoculations, fucking during COVID. He broke into a CVS and did like 40 fucking shots, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| What? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| He got like... | ||
| He got a bunch of different vaccines? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, Rose, dude. | |
| Boy, they should study him. | ||
| How's he doing? | ||
| Maybe that's the key. | ||
| You gotta get a lot. | ||
| I think he's doing fine. | ||
| I've seen him at some meetings. | ||
| Inoculation meetings? | ||
| Inoculations Anonymous? | ||
| Hey, bro. | ||
| He goes to IA. You got some MMR or what? | ||
| I'm trying to mix that Johnson& Johnson up with that Moderna and get that Rush. | ||
| I'm trying to get just below a stroke. | ||
| I just want that blood to flow smooth. | ||
| But Bobby's interested. | ||
| He just got that voice surgery. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| When did he get that? | ||
| I think about a month ago. | ||
| I don't know if it's... | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I just texted him, so I don't know. | ||
| But I hope it gets better. | ||
| He's just a really neat guy. | ||
| So, what was wrong with his voice? | ||
| Because I've heard that it was something he actually got was an injury from a vaccine. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can find that. | ||
| Oh, that would make so much sense. | ||
| Yeah, because he's so... | ||
| What took him down that road. | ||
| What does it say in here? | ||
| Spasmodic dysphonia. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It causes his voice to quaver. | ||
| What's quaver? | ||
| Is that like quiver? | ||
| And makes speech difficult. | ||
| It's a form of involuntary movement disorder called dystonia that affects only the larynx. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That larynx, baby. | |
| How did he get that, though? | ||
| Because I had read that he got that from a vaccine. | ||
| Like, there was a, you know, he got vaccinated for something, and then that hit his vocal cords. | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I can't, I mean, he might have told me. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| You remember stuff really well. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I remember most stuff really well. | ||
| But that's insane, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know that that's really fucking weird. | ||
| What's weird? | ||
| My memory? | ||
| It's not weird. | ||
| I shouldn't say weird isn't the word. | ||
| But it's really... | ||
| People don't have that. | ||
| How so? | ||
| They don't, man. | ||
| I've met a lot of people that aren't able to remember that kind of stuff like you. | ||
| You got that... | ||
| But this is what I do. | ||
| I'm in here doing this all the time. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But you have a really good, you also have a great knack for it. | ||
| Well this, I have a knack for remembering things that are interesting to me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can remember like, when I do like UFC stuff, I can remember fights from 20 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I can remember details of like how it went down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who fought who and how and what happened. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if I had a greater memory what it would be like. | ||
| I also take alpha brain though. | ||
| That definitely helps. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| This version of alpha brain, the newest version, the black label, this stuff is legit. | ||
| Maybe I'll get on some. | ||
| Get on some. | ||
| I'll get it for you. | ||
| You will? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm a big believer in that. | ||
| I'm a big believer in nootropics. | ||
| There's been two studies that we did for the Boston Center of Memory. | ||
| Boston Center of Memory or Boston Center of Memory? | ||
| What was the name of the... | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| There was two double-blind, placebo-controlled trials that they did where they showed increase in verbal memory, increase in your... | ||
| It's like your ability to form sentences, the ability to recall words, and peak alpha flow state. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Andrew Huberman actually went over it. | ||
| And I think they have the video of it on the Onnit Instagram site. | ||
| But he went over all the ingredients that are in AlphaBrain and how they could benefit memory and cognitive function. | ||
| But it's been scientifically proven that that stuff benefits cognitive function and memory. | ||
| And there's a bunch of different nootropics. | ||
| I mean, obviously I'm connected to Onnit, but one of the things that I'm not connected to that we love is NeuroGum. | ||
| We always have stacks of that NeuroGum. | ||
| That stuff's great. | ||
| I've never had that. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| I'm jacked on this stuff. | ||
| Which stuff? | ||
| All of this. | ||
| The coffee. | ||
| That. | ||
| The NAD shot I got. | ||
| You had an NAD shot. | ||
| You had two shots of Juju Mufu's Ah. | ||
| You've got two of these Black Rifle coffees that have 300 milligrams of caffeine each. | ||
| You've downed two of those. | ||
| You're all hopped up on speed, son. | ||
| I'm not doing that great. | ||
| You look great. | ||
| Do I really? | ||
| Your hair looks fabulous. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| You think I look alright, Jimmy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks great. | |
| Thanks, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You look great. | |
| I've been feeling better. | ||
| I just, I think that getting that caffeine in my heart early fucking shook me with that stick right there. | ||
| Nicotine. | ||
| Oh, the nicotine, huh? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Tobacco? | ||
| You only took like a little bit of that cigar. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Look how much is going. | ||
| I'm balls deep in this bitch. | ||
| Yeah, y'all can handle it, man. | ||
| I think I just got... | ||
| You're sensitive. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sensitive to different materials, you know? | ||
| Have you ever smoked cigarettes? | ||
| Were you ever a cigarette smoker? | ||
| Yeah, I used to smoke them, man, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I didn't like it. | |
| I didn't like it, man, but I fucking smoked them bitches, boy. | ||
| You know what I really like? | ||
| Vape pens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do? | ||
| They make these tobacco ones now. | ||
| You take a hit and you just have a head rush. | ||
| The mother of all head rushes. | ||
| One big shot and breathe it out. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| Kill Tony has a sponsor. | ||
| They're called... | ||
| I think it's called Escobars. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's the one that I like. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Them bitches are hardcore. | ||
| They're fat like a cigar, and you take a hit of those, and you are just caroosing. | ||
| And they're all flavored, like they mix flavors and things that have happened in your child, like Kiwi puberty or something, you know, or fucking... | ||
| They'll have like a cinnamon divorce, and you're like, what the fuck's going on here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cinnamon divorce! | |
| You know? | ||
| They're so strong. | ||
| I think, didn't the government, didn't they like make a move to outlaw? | ||
| Yeah, they just did, but that's only, I think, for Jules. | ||
| I think they're still letting some of these other ones go. | ||
| Because, yeah, man, people can now smoke indoors. | ||
| I think more people are smoking now than ever before. | ||
| But they're doing it with the vapes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I wonder how bad the vapes are for you, as opposed to cigarettes. | ||
| When we find that, I mean, it's like, I'm sure they didn't test it for 30 years. | ||
| It's gonna be bad. | ||
| Like, a lot of people smoke cigarettes for 30 years before they get cancer. | ||
| Dude, I just feel like, I wonder, do you think that the world is really getting, like, that everything's getting real shady and weird? | ||
| Or do you think we're just getting older and people as they get older start to think that things are getting shady and weird? | ||
| I think things are definitely escalating. | ||
| They're definitely getting shadier and weirder. | ||
| The problem is they're also getting exposed, so they have to be more aggressive in how they propagandize and how they pretend that things aren't shady and weird. | ||
| So then you feel like you're being gaslit, right? | ||
| You know what gaslighting is? | ||
| Not exactly. | ||
| I've heard it. | ||
| Someone pretends that something is different than it is. | ||
| If I started talking about Jamie and I said, Jamie, he's always been this really aggressive guy and he's just really mean to people, which is the opposite of Jamie. | ||
| I'm gaslighting you. | ||
| I'm telling you about Jamie. | ||
| I'm trying to put something in your head to make you think things are different than they are. | ||
| Maybe I'll make you think that it's your problem, it's your fault that something went wrong. | ||
| So I'll gaslight you. | ||
| Like, pump you up in a bunch of information when you really start believing it. | ||
| Like, oh, wow. | ||
| That's what gaslighting is. | ||
| And you're seeing that from news organizations. | ||
| Like, you're seeing that from, like, CNN. Yeah, fear tactics. | ||
| Fear tactics and also, like, pretending Joe Biden's fine. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pretending, oh, he's just got a stutter. | ||
| Like, you know, that's gaslighting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, did you ever see, like, the press secretary go on Don Lemon? | ||
| And she was like, you know, and he was like, is Joe Biden too old to run for president? | ||
| She's like, oh, how are we even asking this? | ||
| I can't even keep up with him. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Like, that's gaslighting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, that lady knows that guy's a dead man, a walking dead man. | ||
| Yeah, it makes me feel sad they keep putting him out there. | ||
| It is sad. | ||
| If that was your father, Or your grandfather or something like that. | ||
| You saw him stumbling over words on television and sitting on Jimmy Kimmel's couch and forgetting what he's talking about. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It reminds me of my father. | ||
| Right, because your dad was real old, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's funny because it reminds me in weird ways, you know? | ||
| But it would hurt my feelings if they did that to my dad, you know? | ||
| If they pretended like he was well. | ||
| And he was struggling, you know? | ||
| And because of his age, not because of something he had done to himself. | ||
| Meanwhile, Fauci is two years older than him. | ||
| And I was listening to Fauci in an interview today, and he was sharp as a tack. | ||
| Sharp as a tack. | ||
| I mean, whatever that guy's doing, you know, other than vaccines, whatever stuff he's getting into his body, I mean, he must have the best nootropics. | ||
| He must be on the ball. | ||
| Do you think that there's better chemicals out there that people have access to that we don't know about? | ||
| I think I'd probably have access to them. | ||
| You'd have access to them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not that I'm aware of. | ||
| I mean, there's some strategies that you can use that can mitigate the aging process. | ||
| And I've talked to a lot of those scientists, guys like David Sinclair from Harvard who's at the cutting edge of this stuff. | ||
| So there is some stuff. | ||
| And there's also this study out of Israel where they used hyperbaric chambers and they put people on a... | ||
| A routine of 60, 90 minute sessions over a course of 90 days. | ||
| And they found that the people that did that, it lengthened their telomeres to the point of, it would be like a difference of 20 years of aging. | ||
| So they went back and decreased their biological age by 20 years in accordance to what their telomere length was. | ||
| So there's certain things that people can do that definitely have a very positive impact on the way the body functions and behaves. | ||
| But to see a guy who's 81 years old, like Fauci is, talking so smoothly and so articulately and asking, he was on The Hill, that show Rising on the Hill, and they were interviewing him. | ||
| It was really interesting. | ||
| It was like, he's very sharp. | ||
| We had a dude who tried to fast himself out of being gay, I remember one time. | ||
| How many days? | ||
| I think he did almost 40 days or 20-something days. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| How much weight did he lose? | ||
| Oh, he was ribs and dick by the end of it, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And still... | |
| I'm just thinking ribs with a big old dick. | ||
| I remember the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He told me, he goes... | |
| I'm thinking a skeleton with a big old rubbery dick. | ||
| He told me, he goes, it broke my heart because the first dude I saw with a Diet Coke, I wanted to fucking blow him. | ||
| And I was like, oh, man, what a letdown. | ||
| I saw a video today of a Rottweiler throwing up a woman's dildo. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| In full- How do you watch all this? | ||
| They brought the Rottweiler to the vet. | ||
| Fucking Instagram. | ||
| They brought the Rottweiler to the vet, and the vet's like... | ||
| And it comes out, this giant, hot pink dildo comes tumbling out of this Rottweiler's mouth. | ||
| And this poor lady has to sit there and go, yeah, that was in my ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Somebody had to go get it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The dog smelled pussy on it. | ||
| I was like, I'll just swallow this. | ||
| Fuck it, it seems like food. | ||
| Dogs? | ||
| Yeah, I think, uh, what kind of animal? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| Yeah, that's the dog. | ||
| Go full screen. | ||
| There's an ad that's all in a second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| We are 12 seconds away from watching this Rottweiler throw up a giant dildo. | ||
| It's one of those giant dildos that has the asshole tickler, too, built in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh, that party boy. | |
| Or the clit tickler. | ||
| Here it goes, watch him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| Just walk him away. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| We did good. | ||
| Oh, oh. | ||
| The lady's like, yeah, we're good. | ||
| Did good. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| Get the van, Ronnie! | ||
| It's a fucking 14-inch dildo. | ||
| Get the van! | ||
| Damn, bro. | ||
| Keep the car running! | ||
| That is a, uh... | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| See, it's got the... | ||
| It's either a clit or a... | ||
| It looks like a butthole tickler to me. | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| That's a, um... | ||
| What are those things called that they bury stuff at the schoolyard and the kids all put something... | ||
| Time capsule. | ||
| Time capsule. | ||
| That's that Alabama time capsule right there, dude. | ||
| It looked like it had a macaroni in it. | ||
| Do you think once they come up with a fuck robot, will women want them more? | ||
| Who will want them first? | ||
| Would it be men fucking the fuck robot or women getting fucked by the fuck robot? | ||
| I think it'll be men, because women, I think, still will want somebody to be there more, because they have more of an attachment, I think, to somebody being there. | ||
| But I think even that's starting to dissipate some. | ||
| But I think... | ||
| But women have more sex toys than men, don't you think, in terms of, like, vibrators? | ||
| Like, a vibrator seems to me that it's, like, more common than, like, a pocket pussy or a fucking fleshlight or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Vibrators are... | ||
| That's true, man. | ||
| Damn, that stuff got me fucking shook up. | ||
| Which stuff? | ||
| This stuff? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But if you're somebody that is alive or whatever and you... | ||
| One of it? | ||
| Don't do it, man. | ||
| You can't help yourself, huh? | ||
| No, I want more. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Why do you want more when it makes you cry? | ||
| I'll fucking do an eight ball of that shit, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| I'll hit the strip club with that shit, dude. | ||
| Imagine, have a girl sitting on your lap and be like, hey, honey, take a hit of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck is wrong with you, Theo? | |
| Some bouncer beats your ass. | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing with my girls? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that was the scariest dude. | ||
| If he was ever in cocaine in a night, in like a strip club, that stuff's scary. | ||
| Cocaine is? | ||
| Yeah, cocaine's real scary, but... | ||
| Especially everybody dying from it now, but... | ||
| Oh, the fentanyl. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Fentanyl's scary. | ||
| Even, so yeah, it's like we can't even make good cocaine anymore. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Well, we can, but we gotta make it legal. | ||
| That's really what's up. | ||
| Do you know that it's the number one killer of people 18 to 49? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Fentanyl? | ||
| Fentanyl. | ||
| That's unreal. | ||
| Yeah, it's unreal. | ||
| And most of the time people getting it, they don't think they're getting fentanyl. | ||
| They want to get ecstasy or they want to get, you know, whatever. | ||
| Whatever they're trying to get. | ||
| Coke. | ||
| And they're getting it laced. | ||
| Well, I had six friends during the pandemic that passed away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Not best friends, but... | ||
| From fentanyl? | ||
| Friends from overdosing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Because I was worried about whenever they started that. | ||
| I was like, well, if they close all these recovery meetings and everything closed. | ||
| And it went to Zoom. | ||
| But it's not the same as human connection. | ||
| So you saw a lot of people get disconnected, man. | ||
| Are you still going to meetings? | ||
| It's really scary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going back right now. | ||
| I'd kind of fallen off that path for a while. | ||
| And then I did that ayahuasca. | ||
| And that was really interesting because it like... | ||
| Brought up like a lot of like feelings and stuff, but you're kind of just going into old feelings. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that what it did for you? | ||
| Yeah, it brought up like, and memories and feelings of things that had happened when I was younger, things I'd never even known about, you know, kind of interesting. | ||
| Memories that you didn't know you had? | ||
| Feelings attached to memories that I didn't know had affected me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like how so? | ||
| Like I remember when I was like, I guess 10 or something, my brother moved away and my mom let him go live with my grandparents, right? | ||
| He wanted to go. | ||
| I guess it like really made me sad, right? | ||
| And I didn't know. | ||
| You know, I know I love my brother and stuff like that, but I didn't know that I'd felt really, and that came up out of nowhere. | ||
| Like I had no idea. | ||
| So that memory and feeling with it came up like, you know, just like a bubble coming up out of soup, you know? | ||
| Oh, so like you had suppressed that memory and you didn't realize you suppressed it, and then the ayahuasca brought it up and said, hey, this is a source of your sadness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it gets it kind of out of you, so you're able to kind of process it, so, you know... | ||
| I mean, I was in a, you know, I did it right off the 101, you know? | ||
| You mean on the side of the 101? | ||
| Not on the side. | ||
| It was indoors. | ||
| Oh, a house. | ||
| It was like a garage, kind of adjacent, but it was nice in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But we had a big group of folks. | ||
| How many people? | ||
| Maybe 16. Did anybody freak out? | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I've done DMT before with people that freaked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Was it scary? | ||
| One of my buddies went nuts. | ||
| He took his shirt off, was running around screaming. | ||
| He was fighting it. | ||
| Yeah, he threw up in the sink and was screaming and fighting it. | ||
| My buddy Scott, we did mushrooms. | ||
| He thought he was Korean and locked himself in a closet for three hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Why do you think he was Korean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wonder if he was in a past life. | ||
| We never even met a Korean, so I don't even know how he knew about it at the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
School? | |
| Perhaps school? | ||
| I don't think they taught us. | ||
| Maybe he just got really into Korean culture and didn't want to let you know. | ||
| It blew my mind. | ||
| When he even mentioned it. | ||
| But that was just, you know, I think there's something in it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Some of that stuff's real interesting. | ||
| But anyway, so that kind of stuff, yeah, that ayahuasca journey was, you know, that's just wild, bro. | ||
| Because all, you know, these things come up. | ||
| And so anyway, like, yeah, some of that, like, you just kind of process through that kind of stuff. | ||
| Did it help you? | ||
| I think it did, but then it made me like, the thing I like about Sober Program I'm doing right now is just, there's like a daily thing. | ||
| It's like you can go every couple, you know, it's like, it's something that you can do every day. | ||
| And when you do it, you're going and you're talking to people about their struggles and being sober and their positive things and how long they've been sober. | ||
| Like, what happens? | ||
| Yeah, you listen to people. | ||
| So that's a good thing. | ||
| You go and you have to listen to people. | ||
| So you're getting out of your own head. | ||
| And everybody who does it has to talk? | ||
| No, they don't have to, but some of them can. | ||
| And so you can too if you want. | ||
| So you can share if something's in your head that's kind of bugging you, you get to share it. | ||
| So then it's like, it's not just in your head anymore, now it's out and suddenly it doesn't like affect you in your head anymore. | ||
| So, um, so those are two good things. | ||
| You're listening and you're talking in front of other people. | ||
| Makes you feel pretty normal. | ||
| And then, um, And then you have like a group, you know, you're seeing people, you're interacting more. | ||
| And so that's really nice. | ||
| And when you're listening, you're listening to other people do the same stuff that you're doing in terms of like staying sober, how you stay sober, how you avoid temptation, that kind of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And for me, I don't even know if I have a drug alcohol issue. | ||
| I think my thing is more like an emotion, like feeling kind of issue, you know? | ||
| And so like you try to kill the emotions with the drugs or the alcohol? | ||
| Yeah, I think I just try to find my way away from them. | ||
| And it could almost be anything. | ||
| If you left me in here, I'd probably continue to hit that over the day. | ||
| You know, just every now and then. | ||
| You better do it again. | ||
| Just to check out, and I'm going to do it again in a minute. | ||
| Push it over to me. | ||
| But just something to kind of check out, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because being alone with your feelings is troublesome. | ||
| Yeah, it's just like... | ||
| Because I start to use, I realize sometimes my alcohol was almost my feelings. | ||
| Like I would use my feelings almost like alcohol. | ||
| Like if I had feelings, I would be like, oh let's keep feeling them, you know? | ||
| And I get stuck in this kind of like, oh this is how I feel all the time, you know? | ||
| And it's not good if you're not feeling great. | ||
| So... | ||
| So then you would just constantly dwell on feeling bad and it'd make you feel worse. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And some of that I would even be trying to do things to better myself. | ||
| I wasn't like laying at home. | ||
| I was actively trying to make myself better. | ||
| But I didn't realize that even then by like... | ||
| This has to get better. | ||
| This has to get better. | ||
| I'm still kind of dwelling on it. | ||
| And not being in the moment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So then things like that that helped me the most, I think, are just like working out, associating with others, you know. | ||
| Working out's a big one, right? | ||
| It's fucking crazy, Joe. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Because I didn't have any of this until I kind of... | ||
| You know, I know that a lot of this was probably in me from growing up, but I didn't have a lot of it until I think I really started not, you know, fitness kind of left out of my regular daily routine. | ||
| How'd you get back into it? | ||
| Like, what was the step? | ||
| It's like, a lot of times when people get out of stuff, it's very hard to get back in. | ||
| So, like, what made you get back in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I found just a good place to go. | ||
| So you were thinking, I should probably get in shape. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I started going, and after a few days in a row, I was like, oh, this is good. | ||
| Then you get momentum, right? | ||
| You get, like, a routine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I started, like, getting in this, I got this blue cube ice bath thing. | ||
| Yeah, that's what we have here. | ||
| We have one of those... | ||
| Right next door. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I got in there and that started being like, alright, I don't like doing this, but I'm going to keep doing it. | ||
| So do you set it on purpose for the 50s? | ||
| Because that one goes down to 37 degrees. | ||
| Well, I'm trying to get down there. | ||
| So you make sure it's warmer than that. | ||
| Like you can adjust it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I'm just, you know, I'm just incrementally getting down. | ||
| So like 57, 56 next week, 55. Yeah, we'll be there in a while. | ||
| 49. Hold on, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
45 degrees. | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| I ain't looking for all that dark magic. | ||
| Come on, now you're fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mine at home goes to 33. I've seen your videos. | |
| The morosco, 33, 34. Yeah. | ||
| Damn, that's too much. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It's like I gotta climb in under the ice to lift up big sheets of ice and climb under them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're lying. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There's a video of it. | ||
| There's a video of me from my Instagram. | ||
| That's too much. | ||
| There's a giant chunk of ice. | ||
| He can find it. | ||
| There's a giant chunk of ice that I pick up. | ||
| It's big. | ||
| It's like two feet long. | ||
| That's too much, man. | ||
| And I climb into the thing and... | ||
| And bitch, when I get in there, baby, it's just that little, you know, it's that little Christmas skillet, bro. | ||
| That bitch is ice cold. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just... | |
| This is a different kind of numbing cold. | ||
| It's freezing cold. | ||
| But when you get out, you feel so good. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Oh, I'm making my way. | ||
| I'm making my way, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| So here's me. | ||
| Oh, hi, everybody. | ||
| So I'm climbing right out of the sauna. | ||
| See all the ice in there? | ||
| So it's me coming. | ||
| I worked out, and then I went. | ||
| And they usually do this. | ||
| So look at this chunk of ice. | ||
| See that shit? | ||
| I usually do this right after cardio. | ||
| So this is like a cardio session. | ||
| Wow, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You look like one of those turkeys when they tie it up and it gets all kind of lined out. | ||
| What? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| When they put that rope around that ham and it's got all the fucking... | ||
| Oh, my six-pack? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Damn! | ||
| It's called working out, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it is, bro. | |
| I didn't know what that endgame could be like, baby. | ||
| That's freaking wild, dude. | ||
| Congratulations, man. | ||
| Just keep working out and you'll get there too. | ||
| Yeah, so yeah, but yeah, everything is... | ||
| I'm feeling good, man. | ||
| That thing is really good for depression too. | ||
| It's really good for anxiety too. | ||
| The epinephrine, norepinephrine that you get from heavy cold exposure is really good for your mental state as well. | ||
| It's really good for people. | ||
| And it's also like a very serious struggle because the three minutes that you do, I think that day I did three. | ||
| Sometimes I do five, but that's the most I do now. | ||
| I did 20 once. | ||
| I don't recommend that. | ||
| I'm doing 11 right now. | ||
| I was fucked up for a few days. | ||
| 11 at 50-something. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Yeah, that's probably plenty. | ||
| If you're doing 11 at 50-something degrees, that's probably all the benefits that I'm getting doing three at 34 or whatever it is. | ||
| But it's great for your mind. | ||
| You get out, you feel happier and more peaceful. | ||
| Oh, I feel fucking ready, dude. | ||
| Yeah, it's such a struggle because it's a real life or death struggle. | ||
| When you're in there and it's 34 degree water and you're in there for three to five minutes, that is a real life or death struggle because by the end of it, I'm shaking. | ||
| Like my body's shaking under the water and I'm like, 30 more seconds, 30 more seconds. | ||
| And now, what I do is if I do hot, cold, hot, cold, I always finish on cold, because I let my body reheat itself naturally. | ||
| Yeah, I like it, man. | ||
| What I like about it is I'm doing something I don't want to do. | ||
| Every time I start doing things I don't want to do, I grow. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| That's a lesson that people need to hear and learn. | ||
| It's so important because everybody just wants to be comfortable. | ||
| Everybody wants to sit on the couch. | ||
| I don't want to go outside. | ||
| It's cold. | ||
| I don't want to do this. | ||
| It's hot. | ||
| You've got to do things that you don't want to do because you show your body that your mind is the boss. | ||
| Your mind is telling your body what to do and then you have control. | ||
| Yeah, Dustin texted me one day, Poirier texted me, he's like, you can't wait for everything to be okay to live your life. | ||
| You ever get a text from somebody who says one of those moments where it fucking gets through to you, you know? | ||
| And I was like, fuck yeah, man. | ||
| That's a very poignant, and obviously coming from a guy like him, who is... | ||
| I mean accomplished incredible things and done so in one of the most difficult things to accomplish incredible things like he's a fighter a fucking cage fighter at the highest level of the game talking about a guy who knocked out Conor McGregor you know he's a beast oh yeah so like his ability to like get things done is exceptional yeah you know he's an exceptional person and so his understanding of that fact That you can't just wait for things to get perfect. | ||
| You just go out and do stuff. | ||
| I always tell people that about working out. | ||
| Fuck your motivation. | ||
| Fuck your motivation. | ||
| You need discipline. | ||
| Because motivation's not there every day. | ||
| I'm missing motivation most days. | ||
| Wow, really? | ||
| Some days, yeah, sometimes I got motivation. | ||
| Sometimes I'm like, fuck yeah, today I felt good. | ||
| I can't wait to get to the gym. | ||
| But a lot of days I'm like, gotta get to the gym. | ||
| And then once I get going, then I feel great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I feel great when it's over. | ||
| But it's that beginning part that's hard because your body wants to stay comfortable. | ||
| Your body will trick you like, man, today should take the day off, Theo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I feel good. | ||
| Theo, what did you get, like six hours sleep last night? | ||
| That's not enough. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that thing, whatever that is, that guy lives on my shoulder. | ||
| That little sleepy guy? | ||
| That motherfucker. | ||
| Dude, I might have a twin that never separated, baby, because that fella's chatty. | ||
| That's a lot of people. | ||
| A lot of people have that chatty guy telling you to take naps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Telling you to eat that piece of cake. | ||
| Yeah, so that kind of stuff's been helping me, man. | ||
| But I'm feeling, yeah, I'm excited, man. | ||
| I'll probably go back on tour later this year. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You've been writing a lot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I've been doing a lot and I just got off a tour. | ||
| I just I've been touring for like 16 years, you know, so like I just took You know, my last tour date was a month ago, but I think I want to take like another month off Do you write like physically write you sit in front of a computer? | ||
| Do you sit in front of a notebook? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I'll sit in front of a computer and I'll go through. | ||
| I'll listen to some old sets, put more stuff in. | ||
| Oh, this was an add-on here that popped out of me. | ||
| A lot of it pops out of me on stage, though. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that interesting when things do that? | ||
| That's why it's so important to record. | ||
| That's the magic, baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're in that moment. | ||
| You're in that weird moment where you've got people laughing and you're in the groove. | ||
| You're in that zen moment. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that best? | ||
| I love that, man. | ||
| And that's what I miss, I think, sometimes about the way the store a little bit, you know, or not miss about it, but it's like, that's what was perfect. | ||
| That was what was awesome about it. | ||
| It was just like such a, it was a fun group there. | ||
| Yeah, it was a fun group there. | ||
| And that was a vibe, man. | ||
| But yeah, I'll probably get back out a little bit later this year and do some more dates. | ||
| Have you done any sets at the store? | ||
| Yeah, I've done some. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's it like there? | ||
| I'm still like back in LA probably four months out of the year. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you have an apartment? | ||
| I still have my same apartment. | ||
| Oh, that's nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can go back anytime you want. | ||
| It's your place. | ||
| It's not like you're staying in a hotel. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's nice. | |
| That's nice. | ||
| Yeah, I chose to do that. | ||
| That's been good. | ||
| It's a little sketchy there now, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, it's just different, I guess. | ||
| A little touch and go on those streets. | ||
| Yeah, it gets a little risque out there. | ||
| You want to bring your silverware, even when you're going for a wall. | ||
| They're handing out concealed carry permits in LA. Are they? | ||
| Yeah, they give them to you now. | ||
| Did they always do that? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| It was hard to get one before. | ||
| Real hard to get one. | ||
| It turned down a lot of people. | ||
| You'd have a real threat. | ||
| You'd own a jewelry store. | ||
| Do you feel like we're headed to that place where it's just going to be the Wild West again? | ||
| Because, like, is it going to get so strange that, like, security is just going to be like a privatized thing mostly? | ||
| Like, what's going to happen? | ||
| It could. | ||
| I think most likely people are going to get fed up and they're going to elect some officials and some government people that come in and clean it up. | ||
| That's what they did in New York City. | ||
| That's when Giuliani took over New York City and cleaned it up. | ||
| LA's going to have to... | ||
| There's this guy, Rick Caruso, who's running for mayor in LA, and he's a big-time developer. | ||
| And he's basically saying, look, in one year, I can put most of the homeless situation, get those people to shelters, house them, take care of them, and get them off the streets. | ||
| And these people aren't doing that now. | ||
| And he wants that to be a number one priority. | ||
| Because if you're a guy who's a real estate developer and you're developing a project and across the street from you there's like 80 tents, that's not good for business. | ||
| It's not good for those people either. | ||
| It's not good for anyone. | ||
| And they're being ignored and in fact even encouraged because there's laws that protect them and make it easier for them to live like that. | ||
| And downtown LA is fucking Mad Max right now. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if you've seen any of the more recent videos of downtown LA? Holy shit, man. | ||
| No, we saw a guy with a sword in Albuquerque. | ||
| I think I told you about that, though. | ||
| We saw a guy with a sword that's protecting the streets one night. | ||
| Was he like Dracula? | ||
| That sword? | ||
| That kind of sword? | ||
| This dude was... | ||
| It was crazy! | ||
| The guy's walking down the street with a fucking, you know... | ||
| With a sword. | ||
| Yeah, and he had it like, you know, like how it's... | ||
| Oh, like a samurai. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like he was ready to go. | ||
| And he was not a licensed samurai. | ||
| There's no way this guy was. | ||
| He was like 6'4". | ||
| Well, you can't be a tall samurai? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| Think about it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We hope. | |
| Oh, let's all hide. | ||
| Oh, Danny. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| You're like, oh, let's all hide. | ||
| Oh, fucking Danny's here. | ||
| You know, tall ass. | ||
| Well, I think Samurais weren't ninjas. | ||
| You're thinking of ninjas, not Samurais. | ||
| Oh, yeah, maybe I'm thinking of ninjas, but yeah. | ||
| Samurais don't hide. | ||
| They're coming to fuck you up. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Then this guy would probably be good then. | ||
| Yeah, he'd be perfect. | ||
| Got a nice reach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I didn't think about that. | ||
| He just looked like he was just reaching for, I don't know, just reaching for the Lord, man. | ||
| It's got one doing super good. | ||
| Reaching for the Lord. | ||
| It was middle of the night. | ||
| Yeah, we'd done a show there, and it was just, I mean, it's Albuquerque. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| You know, the aliens are on the ground. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| Do you think the aliens are in New Mexico? | ||
| I mean, dude, yeah, bro, go to Albuquerque. | ||
| Roswell. | ||
| Roswell. | ||
| That's where they crashed. | ||
| Well, if they crashed, they all fucking, they rented cars and drove over to Albuquerque. | ||
| They're there. | ||
| Do you believe they're visiting us? | ||
| I believe that we're them, that they're us, just from way in the future. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I'm glad you said that. | ||
| A lot of people have been saying that lately. | ||
| I think that's a thing that people kind of have in the back of their head, that that's where we're gonna be. | ||
| That's what we're gonna do. | ||
| We're gonna look like that one day. | ||
| Well, yeah, you look at Facebook, you know, at Mark, and you look at Elon, you look at a lot of these guys who are, you know, mentally on the edge kind of computer humans, you know, and their wadis are white, and they look just like an alien, you know, they have a very, they're as close as we're getting. | ||
| Well, I think if you look at like ancient man, like ancient hominids, they were muscular and hairy, and you look at people today, they're doughy and spindly, and they're moving towards that general direction. | ||
| I think that's what, when we look at that alien, that Steven Spielberg, Close Encounters of the Third Kind type alien, that's like an archetypal image that we have in our consciousness. | ||
| I think we recognize that that's where we're going. | ||
| And then we're going to be connected to technology in some very bizarre way. | ||
| And we're most likely going to be some sort of a cyborg. | ||
| Well, the thing you're thinking about aliens, you don't see them with no backpacks or no transistors or anything. | ||
| They're just... | ||
| Just chilling. | ||
| They're probably not even a biological creature anymore. | ||
| At a certain point in time, I think that's where life goes. | ||
| Life creates this sort of artificial life and then transitions to becoming it. | ||
| And I think life symbiotically attaches itself to technology and becomes a cyborg, some sort of a part biology, part computer. | ||
| And then it realizes that the biology is just in the way. | ||
| The biology part just wants to fuck and yell and cry. | ||
| You're trying to create black holes. | ||
| I don't have time for this. | ||
| You're all over there in the corner crying. | ||
| Yeah, that kind of stuff's going to be so archaic, dude. | ||
| You know what's going to be really fucked? | ||
| Instagram influencers are trying to motivate you. | ||
| You've got to get out there and chase your dreams. | ||
| The world's not waiting for you. | ||
| You know, they're doomed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those people, you know, it's a dying market. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| You know, motivate people when everybody can see through walls and read minds? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, this shit ain't going to work. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And also, contractors will have to fucking really step their game up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Contractors? | |
| Just if people are seeing through walls and stuff, people are going to be like, hey, man. | ||
| You know. | ||
| The neighbors know. | ||
| Yeah, the neighbors know. | ||
| Well, I think the neighbors are going to know because everyone's going to be able to know what everyone's doing. | ||
| I think in the future, there will be no privacy. | ||
| I think that is one thing. | ||
| Right now, there's no real privacy in terms of the government 100% can listen to your phone. | ||
| You know, I've had people that were, like Gavin DeBecker, who's a real security expert, and he was talking to me about Pegasus. | ||
| And Pegasus was the system that they developed, they used on- Oh, on the astronaut. | ||
| They used on Jeff Bezos. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's how Jeff Bezos, remember when Jeff Bezos had, like, photos and text messages, and they used it to, like, embarrass him, and it was about him and his girlfriend? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they got that through this Pegasus system. | ||
| So someone sent him a WhatsApp. | ||
| The MBS from Saudi Arabia sent him a WhatsApp message. | ||
| And that WhatsApp message had inside of it a link. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| That he clicked on, and that link downloaded Pegasus onto his phone, and then they got access to the entire details of his phone. | ||
| And through that, they got a hold of these text messages that he had with his girl, and then they made them public, and they tried to embarrass him. | ||
| Can TikTok take our text messages, you think? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, I think they get everything. | ||
| I think they get all your recordings, all your audio. | ||
| They know what music you're listening to, what YouTube videos you're watching. | ||
| I think they get everything. | ||
| All the porn you're watching, all the porn you're watching. | ||
| I'm not watching any. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| Zero? | ||
| I've seen some. | ||
| But I haven't seen that much. | ||
| I mean, I don't think there's... | ||
| Are you into like stepsister porn? | ||
| No. | ||
| Stepmom porn? | ||
| I like the hot milfs. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a hot 40-year-old who goes to the gym. | ||
| That's my kind of girl. | ||
| Ooh, yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to think of if I've made love to anybody like that in my life. | ||
| I don't know if I have or not. | ||
| What's your type? | ||
| I like probably volleyball chick. | ||
| A strong girl. | ||
| Athletic. | ||
| Yeah, some athleticism. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Maybe has a family member that can't speak English that good. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Foreigners. | ||
| Foreigner or even mentally fucking unwell. | ||
| Happy to be here. | ||
| Oh, mentally unwell? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You like that? | |
| No, if somebody their family is. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because they're loving people. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Because you're compassionate, because you have this family member. | ||
| Nurses. | ||
| Challenges. | ||
| Nurses. | ||
| Very kind people, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nurses are really cool. | ||
| Some of them. | ||
| Some of them not so nice. | ||
| Yeah, Nurse Ratched. | ||
| Remember her? | ||
| Or Kathy Bates from Misery. | ||
| Typhoid Mary? | ||
| Wasn't she a nurse? | ||
| Wasn't Kathy Bates a nurse from Misery? | ||
| The Stephen King movie? | ||
| I don't remember if she was a nurse. | ||
| She broke James Caan's ankles. | ||
| Rest in peace, James Caan. | ||
| Oh, that movie, remember? | ||
| Yeah, Misery. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| She's a former nurse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Thank God for Uber, huh? | ||
| Well, and then there was also that nurse. | ||
| There was one nurse that was killing all of her patients. | ||
| There was a nurse that they found there was a disproportionate number of people that were dying under her care. | ||
| They'll do that if you're not nice to them. | ||
| There's 18 serial killer nurses who murdered their patients. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Whoa! | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| That guy killed, hold on, go back up to that guy. | ||
| This dude. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Niles Hoegle may have killed more than 90 people. | ||
| February 2015, German nurse, how do you say, Hoegle, was jailed for two murders and several attempted murders at the Delmenhorst Hospital. | ||
| He would inject his patients with a cardiovascular drug to create a medical emergency and then step in to resuscitate them at the last moment. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he was just like thrill killing. | ||
| Oh my god, go back up to her. | ||
| That's back in the day, dog. | ||
| Amelia Dyer, but look at her face. | ||
| She looks like a lady who killed 400 people. | ||
| Amelia Dyer is one of the most notorious serial killers in history. | ||
| Although she was only convicted of 12 deaths, evidence suggests her true body count was at least 400. Her crimes took place during a 20-year time span in the late 1800s, and all of her victims were babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| What a frickin' cunt, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a cunt. | |
| If you're gonna attack babies... | ||
| Dyer was a trained nurse who turned to baby farming to make money. | ||
| Baby farming? | ||
| Yeah, it's like those puppy mills kind of. | ||
| She would offer to adopt or nurse a child in return for a fee, but then would typically terminate the babies within days by drugging them with opium-based substances or smothering them. | ||
| She actually served six months in prison for negligence in 1879, but Dyer wasn't arrested for her crimes until 1896. Her reign of terror finally ended permanently on June 10th, 1896. She was executed by hanging for the murder of 12 infants. | ||
| That's the past, man. | ||
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| See, every time I try and romanticize the past, you gotta think there was some frickin' crazy folks out there. | ||
| This is the best time to be alive. | ||
| Fuck the past. | ||
| Yeah, you always say that. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| This is the best time to be alive. | ||
| It's a good thing, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, there's troubles and trials and tribulations, and there's difficulties in today's life, but it's also a time of unprecedented information and kindness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| This is a fucked up article. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Daniela Pogiali ended her patients and then took selfies with them. | ||
| So she killed them and then took selfies. | ||
| Italian nurse Daniela Pogiali allegedly killed at least 90 of her patients on purpose because they were bothersome. | ||
| Interesting word while she vehemently denied the charges the Italian government thought otherwise and charged her in 2014 with her crimes Not only was Poggioli present for 96 deaths during a time as a nurse a very high number according to authorities But she also took selfies with her deceased patients Police say she stole money and jewelry Oh my god. | ||
| But do you think that's just a sign of the times? | ||
| Like, these people get selfies with anything, all the time. | ||
| So it's like, do you think it's just like, oh, they died, I'm also getting the selfie? | ||
| I guess if you do it that much, then it's obvious that you want to be a bad person. | ||
| Well, I think she's a sick bitch, and she was like, she's killing them. | ||
| The selfies is not that creepy in comparison to just the fact that she's killing them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder how you get... | ||
| I mean, if we can test people for that. | ||
| But dude, then all those shows, Dateline, all that's gonna be a wrap, bro. | ||
| Like, I've wanted more people to kill people. | ||
| Just so you have more of those shows to watch? | ||
| Fucking hate to say that. | ||
| I think there's plenty of stories from the past. | ||
| No, I've seen them all. | ||
| They'll repackage them. | ||
| Everybody knows it, bro. | ||
| We need new content. | ||
| We need people to break in. | ||
| Okay, why do women like those shows so much? | ||
| Women love those serial killer shows. | ||
| I've always thought, and this is going to come back to haunt me, that a lot of women want to be murdered. | ||
| Or want to have a man show up. | ||
| Because it's the closest thing to that knight in shining armor. | ||
| But it's like, it's a man shows up. | ||
| It's like, at night it has all this mystery to it. | ||
| Do you think that's why they like vampires? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's close. | |
| Think about that. | ||
| Like Twilight. | ||
| Remember how many women were in love with the Twilight thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Robert Pattinson. | ||
| He was a handsome, beautiful vampire. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I mean, think about it. | ||
| It's like it's a mystery. | ||
| They're there at night. | ||
| There's romance. | ||
| The stars are in the sky. | ||
| Spats and shit. | ||
| And they want to be, you know, it's like a lot of times there's a potential of sex. | ||
| There's danger. | ||
| And they protect you. | ||
| They don't kill you. | ||
| They kill everybody else. | ||
| That's why women love serial killers. | ||
| Like, women have this crazy thing for serial killers. | ||
| Whenever there's a serial... | ||
| Not all women. | ||
| Yeah, email them. | ||
| Clearly, not all women. | ||
| But there's some very disturbed women that are sexually aroused and attracted to serial killers. | ||
| And what they want, you think? | ||
| Sex from them? | ||
| They want sex from them, and I think they're attracted to someone who kills people. | ||
| I think this probably goes back... | ||
| Businessman. | ||
| No, I think it probably goes back to the time where you needed a man that is capable of killing people to protect you. | ||
| Because there's some people that are just not capable of like dealing with the idea it's him or me and we're gonna fight with a sword. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But the guy who can do that and come out on top, that's the guy who, you want his genes. | ||
| Because your children have a better chance of success. | ||
| Survival, yeah. | ||
| So there's probably like this twisted genetic reason why women are attracted to killers. | ||
| Yeah, that's why they have those fantasies, the rape-murder fantasies. | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying, you know, I probably shouldn't say that really, but it's like... | ||
| No, but it's a commonly known reality. | ||
| Yes, that's a fantasy. | ||
| It's a twisted fantasy, but it's a thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like they don't have like the, yeah. | ||
| There's not like a stay-at-home dad fantasy. | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| They have a real fantasy, man. | ||
| There's no stay-at-home dad. | ||
| I have a friend who just got divorced from her husband who's a stay-at-home dad, and she was just... | ||
| At the end, she had enough, this dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And then she said to me, she was like, do you know any men, like manly men to set me up with? | ||
| Like she wanted a fucking man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She was coming to me because she was hoping that I knew like some UFC fighter or something. | ||
| I'll get in there. | ||
| Set her up. | ||
| You ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Are you ready for it? | ||
| I'll do my best. | ||
| It's a lot of responsibility. | ||
| You can't say I'm going to do my best. | ||
| Okay, sorry. | ||
| Yes, I am ready. | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'm ready. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Yeah, no, this one, when you say, are you ready, Theo? | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| I'm going to say, I'm her. | ||
| I'm asking you. | ||
| Are you ready, Theo, to be a real man with me? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I'm not believing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, I thought it was pretty fucking good, man. | |
| I almost believed it. | ||
| Nah, there's some fucking doubt in your voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on, hold on, hold on. | |
| Let's have it one more time. | ||
| All right. | ||
| All right, I'll ask you again. | ||
| I'll do it in a girl's voice. | ||
| Maybe it'll make you feel better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Theo, are you ready to be a real man with me? | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Not buying it. | ||
| At all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn, what? | |
| Not buying it at all. | ||
| If I was a cop, I'd arrest you for lying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, come on, bro. | |
| Dang, y'all. | ||
| I thought I did pretty good, man. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You're just not used to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Try it on me. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Hey, Joe, are you ready to be a real man? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Dang, boy, I did hit a little. | ||
| Yeah, it's real. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Let me try you one more time, alright? | ||
| Like I just, something happened to me, alright? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Like I just came in from the rain. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Thunder. | ||
| Hey, Joe. | ||
| Are you ready to be a real man? | ||
| Um, depends on what you want from me. | ||
| Why are you wet? | ||
| Do you own an umbrella? | ||
| Did your car break down? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| Okay, so now I see I don't want to be that guy. | ||
| Now you're a trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're a problem. | ||
| I'm a problem if I'm that guy. | ||
| You might be one of them gals who comes in wet all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you never figure out umbrellas. | ||
| Your car's always getting a flat tire. | ||
| You're annoying. | ||
| You're just cleaning your glasses off. | ||
| You're a problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But also, if I'm that guy who's just like a bunch of quits, like, I just want to be the fuck yeah guy. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta think fuck yeah like you already have a heart on. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That felt real. | ||
| Like, you think of yourself as you're already rock hard, purple helmet, ready to go. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Take a sniff of this and then tell me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here he goes! | |
| Here he goes, folks! | ||
| One more hit, baby. | ||
| Shake it up! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shake it up! | |
| You ready to be a real man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get in there! | |
| I feel alone. | ||
| Give it to me. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| I'm gonna do it. | ||
| Give me some. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Fucking yeah. | ||
| Get in there, Joseph! | ||
| No, I didn't get it. | ||
| Get in there! | ||
| Are you ready to be a real man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| The first one I didn't really get, but the second one I got a full blast. | ||
| Look at my eyes. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah! | |
| Put the lid on that, son. | ||
| Fuck no, son. | ||
| I'm gonna do one more. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| You're going to hurt yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It still like lingers. | |
| It's like attached to my nostril hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can taste it. | |
| Get in there, Jamie. | ||
| You need to get a hit of this. | ||
| I'm tired of your bullshit. | ||
| Make that fucking pussy pop, son. | ||
| Get in there, dawg. | ||
| He's like watching us suffer. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I want to see his elbows get hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There he goes! | |
| There he goes, dude! | ||
| There he goes! | ||
| I told you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's moving his limbs, bro. | |
| He's doing karate over there. | ||
| That new one's different. | ||
| It felt like I sniffed chlorine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That new one's different. | ||
| That's what God wanted for you, son. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| You got right in front of you. | ||
| Right in front of you. | ||
| Tissue's right there, bro. | ||
| That's what God wanted for you. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| No joke. | ||
| No joke, right? | ||
| How high could people get a long time ago, you think? | ||
| I think they got real high. | ||
| Yeah, oof. | ||
| Look at Jamie. | ||
| He was like sitting there on the sidelines, mocking us. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know, that's bullshit. | ||
| It felt like water with chlorine was just going through my nose. | ||
| It wasn't like a sniff. | ||
| It wasn't air. | ||
| It was like a solid thing went in your nose, right? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's like you work at a wave pool, dude, with your face, man. | ||
| That shit's hardcore. | ||
| It's hardcore. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I think people got real high back in the day. | ||
| I mean, there's a book, The Immortality Key, by this guy Brian Morescu, and he detailed how the ancient Greeks, during the Enlightenment, they were all drinking wine that was laced with psychedelics. | ||
| And they proved it. | ||
| They found these ancient pottery vessels, and they did samples on them, and they found LSD in them, lysergic acid. | ||
| It wasn't like LSD, it was ergot, which is very similar. | ||
| It produces LSD-like effects. | ||
| And that's what helped them think of all that stuff? | ||
| Yes, 100%. | ||
| Not only that, but during the podcast, because of the podcast and because of his book, because he came on the podcast, it was so popular, and the book sold like crazy, Harvard opened up a new field of study dealing with the ancient Greeks and the Enlightenment and psychedelic use. | ||
| Wow, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So psychedelics have probably helped things progress over time. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Think about what it did for you, how it opens up your feelings and thoughts and opens up your creativity. | ||
| For me, it's been a giant source of creativity. | ||
| It helps me so much. | ||
| Even just marijuana. | ||
| It helps me so much with writing and thinking about things. | ||
| And just... | ||
| Checking my own behavior to make sure that I'm proud of the way I think and talk and making me communicate with people that I might have had difficulties with or apologize or reach out to them if maybe we had a dispute or something like that. | ||
| The feeling that you want to resolve things. | ||
| Just being in touch with your feelings and in touch with your thoughts, and there's the opening of creativity. | ||
| It's also like the recognizing that having unresolved things in your head, they're not good for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those things, they stay in your head. | ||
| You've got to resolve them. | ||
| And when you resolve them, then they go away. | ||
| This weight lifts off of your body. | ||
| But until that weight lifts off your body, you're going to carry those things around. | ||
| Well, that's the same thing that 12-step programs do. | ||
| It's like resentment. | ||
| You get to resentment and you heal all those. | ||
| And 12-step programs, that's another thing they do is you reach out and resolve things to people. | ||
| You apologize to people. | ||
| People that you might have wronged. | ||
| Hey, I'm sorry I stole that Coke from you. | ||
| You got to call them and tell them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so I think, yeah, it's just a good way. | ||
| It's almost a way of... | ||
| It's like a purging. | ||
| It's all interesting. | ||
| Different modalities people use to try and make themselves well or to keep tabs on themselves. | ||
| It's all real fascinating. | ||
| Yeah, it's real fascinating. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff. | ||
| There's stuff on the inside, stuff on the outside. | ||
| But, yeah, I'm glad to be alive and be able to keep trying stuff and keep competing against the world and against myself. | ||
| Yeah, keep getting better, right? | ||
| That's the big thing. | ||
| Just keep improving on the way you interface with reality, the way you interface with other people, the way you do your life, your job. | ||
| You get better on stage because of that too, right? | ||
| You get more freedom. | ||
| You feel like you're more yourself, more home with your own skin. | ||
| Oh, some of my last shows were some of my best, you know? | ||
| Really? | ||
| And it's funny because I used to think, man, I'll never be able to create stuff that's going to get me, you know, like, that's going to be even better than some of my previous stuff. | ||
| And then it's like... | ||
| Yeah, it just... | ||
| That's always the fear, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I'm in that right now because I'm getting ready to film. | ||
| And then once I film, I'm fucked. | ||
| You know, I'm out of weapons. | ||
| I gotta write all new shit. | ||
| It's like springtime. | ||
| But it's that feeling, that scary feeling of having to create new stuff that's exciting, man. | ||
| It's so good for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so important because it's growth. | ||
| And it's also, it's a rare art form where you get to start from scratch. | ||
| Whereas musicians, everybody wants to hear those old hits. | ||
| You know, play Free Bird. | ||
| People want to hear those old hits. | ||
| You could even do covers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're a musician, you can fucking tour with other people's shit. | ||
| Yeah, you can. | ||
| You could go and do an arena, and you go, this is a song, I really love Bruce Springsteen's song, people start cheering. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Shout out to Bruce. | ||
| We can't do that. | ||
| Can't do that. | ||
| No. | ||
| I wonder what that would be like if somebody just said, I'm going to do covers of all these people's things. | ||
| People have done stuff like that before. | ||
| We used to do a show in Stitches in Boston, Stitches Comedy Club, called Joe Biden Night. | ||
| This was back when Joe Biden had a dropout of his presidential run in 1988 because he got busted for plagiarizing. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He plagiarized Robert Kennedy Jr.'s dad. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, he plagiarized quite a few people. | ||
| It was so publicly known in 1988 that they had a night called Joe Biden night. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And Joe Biden night was like, I would go up and do your act like, Jay got bit my cousin, so we'll see. | ||
| I'd be doing your act, and you would do my act, and that was like a night where guys would go up and do each other's acts. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| We called it Joe Biden night. | ||
| Was it fun? | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I did Fitzsimmons' act. | ||
| Oh, he's funny? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, he's funny. | ||
| Funny as fuck. | ||
| And back in the day, Greg and I came up almost exactly at the same time. | ||
| I think he was a week earlier or a week after me, but within a week. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| I always enjoy seeing him. | ||
| He's like a- Great person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He reminds me of Andy Capp. | ||
| Remember him from those cartoons? | ||
| He always has that Paperboy hat on. | ||
| I wear those hats a lot, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I love those hats. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Greg is the best. | ||
| He's just such a good guy, and he's so funny. | ||
| And the way he laughs, you can make Greg laugh. | ||
| He laughs like his whole body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's one of those guys. | ||
| Yeah, it's funny seeing people laugh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's such a strange thing that someone that we move and make a sound. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, think about a show when you really kill. | ||
| Like last night, we had a killer show last night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| It was so much fun. | ||
| Last night was just... | ||
| There's those nights where it's just popping. | ||
| Last night, it was popping! | ||
| And in the middle of it, I was watching these guys just crying, laughing. | ||
| They were slapping the table, and they were trying to catch their breath. | ||
| And I was like, I ain't even going to hit you with the best lines yet. | ||
| And here comes the next one! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And then on top of that, you're compounding. | ||
| Bang, bang, bang! | ||
| And they walk out of there, they feel better. | ||
| Like, you feel better. | ||
| You walk out of there, they're like, God, I feel better, man. | ||
| That's like an ayahuasca. | ||
| It's like a release of things that all just kind of shakes you. | ||
| It's interesting, all the little things that are built into life and into the world to help us take care of ourselves. | ||
| It's a strange state. | ||
| The state of laughter. | ||
| Yeah, because you shake, and you didn't even plan on doing it. | ||
| You start laughing. | ||
| Your body's shaking. | ||
| Sometimes you can't breathe. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Sometimes someone will say something and you didn't see it coming. | ||
| And you're like, oh shit! | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember a dude came out of the closet one time at one of my shows. | ||
| He was just like, I'm gay! | ||
| And just fucking right in the front row, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And his buddies were like, Patrick, chill out, man! | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Have another beer, dude! | ||
| You're out of your fucking mind, man! | ||
| What were you talking about that made him yell that out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you remember? | |
| No, I don't remember. | ||
| No, this was about seven or eight years ago. | ||
| So it was just the laughter moved him to honesty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay! | |
| Do you think he had to explain that to his friends afterwards? | ||
| I mean, yeah, well, he ordered two beers immediately. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I think he just wanted to frickin' just put that damp tiger back in the cage, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The damn tiger! | |
| He wasn't ready to be full-time gay, man. | ||
| I don't think he was ready for it. | ||
| But he wanted to get that monkey off his back, huh? | ||
| Shook it out of him. | ||
| Yeah, he wanted to get that freedom. | ||
| God. | ||
| That's got to be the worst. | ||
| That's one of the things that drives me the most crazy and makes me the most angry about homophobia, that it robs people of freedom. | ||
| It robs people of their life to just be who they are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if a dad was saying all kinds of anti-gay stuff and then your kid is there and the kid is gay or even thinking about it. | ||
| Or if he has a gay friend, now he's afraid to even introduce his dad to his friend. | ||
| I think there's a lot of guys that say a lot of anti-gay stuff because they have gay feelings and they're angry. | ||
| They're angry at those feelings. | ||
| The guys that are mad about gay people... | ||
| You know, there's people that'll, like, say gay things because they think it's funny, but then there's people that'll be angry about gay people to get mad. | ||
| And those people, I'm always, like, suspect. | ||
| I'm like, why are you mad? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why are you mad at why someone loves someone else? | ||
| Like, what... | ||
| What is it about you being mad that someone is sexually attracted to someone that's of the same sex? | ||
| There's so many people that are like that. | ||
| It's so easy to find them now. | ||
| If you were on an app, if you wanted to get some gay sex, gay guys can find each other now. | ||
| This is not like you didn't know. | ||
| I don't want to put myself out there. | ||
| It's accepted. | ||
| It's a normal thing now. | ||
| It's like the social stigma of it is almost all gone. | ||
| With modern society, with most polite society. | ||
| Dude, we used to get high when we were kids, and we'd go outside and get high, and then I'd come back in early into my buddy's house, and I would tell his dad, and I would be like, oh, Mr. Mike, man. | ||
| Because his dad had a lot of anti-gay energy, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, and he would just say stuff, all that, you know, like, queers, just say stuff, you know, just like, ignorant shit, you know? | ||
| Did he have his pants off when he did that? | ||
| I didn't see anything like that. | ||
| But I'd go, I'd come in after we'd been out there smoking weed, I'd come in, and I'd be like, Mr. Mike, man, they were being... | ||
| I don't know, Richard was over, and people were just being kind of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Touchy-feely. | |
| Yeah, it was just real strange out there. | ||
| Did you beat him? | ||
| Did you beat him? | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| So then, dude... | ||
| My friends, Adam, would come back inside, man, and his dad would be like, what in the fuck have you boys been doing out there? | ||
| You've been queering around. | ||
| Queering as a verb is very funny. | ||
| Oh, you've been queering around, boys? | ||
| And he was just, yeah, I mean, just lighting into it, dude, and I would be dying with laughter. | ||
| And they were so high, they didn't know how to explain that they hadn't been, you know, queering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, because they're so high and you set them up! | |
| Do you feel bad about that? | ||
| I feel great about it. | ||
| That shit was some of the fun. | ||
| I loved creating an ambiance in advance, man. | ||
| Oh, so you knew it was coming. | ||
| And they had a gas leak over at that house too, man. | ||
| And we'd go over there, bro. | ||
| We'd sleep from fucking Friday night to Sunday morning, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, bro. | ||
| I never slept so good, dude. | ||
| I woke up fucking four years old at that point. | ||
| I miss it. | ||
| God, that was good. | ||
| Good old days. | ||
| Sleeping when you just had so much time to kill. | ||
| Time doesn't feel like you can kill it anymore, does it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Too many responsibilities. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I wake up, I wake up with like a certain sense of dread because I got so much shit to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when I wake up, I'm like, okay. | ||
| I'm like, I'd like to relax and have a cup of coffee and just sort of slowly work my way into the day, but I can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta go. | |
| Gotta go. | ||
| Gotta go. | ||
| And a moment doesn't have as much value. | ||
| A moment used to be something that you could never replicate. | ||
| Now, since everything's kind of captured, you know, and everything's recorded and stuff, it's like a moment is, uh, it doesn't feel the same, you know? | ||
| It kind of does after a while, though, because let me tell you something, because I capture so many moments and so many moments of mine, so many conversations of mine like this one are out there forever that it's normal to me. | ||
| That's normal to me. | ||
| Yeah, I guess maybe I don't mean like in podcasts. | ||
| I guess I just mean like a moment used to feel like it couldn't be captured. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was you just like, wow. | ||
| This happened. | ||
| Appreciate this. | ||
| Yeah, there's this. | ||
| Like something would happen like, oh, fuck, bro. | ||
| What if we could have captured? | ||
| That would have been insane. | ||
| And so there was so much like the moment just had, and I don't know if they have them, you know, it's just less of that now because we have the ability to capture. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's just interesting. | ||
| There are some moments we look back and you're like, God, that was fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a great moment. | ||
| But now we're either making, we're either recording something or we're watching something. | ||
| I feel like we're always caught in the circle. | ||
| Especially us, too, because we work in this world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right. | ||
| Do you feel better being outside of Hollywood? | ||
| Do you feel better having moved to Nashville? | ||
| Do you feel less pressure from the machine? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like the show business machine? | ||
| Yeah, I feel... | ||
| I feel like, oh, I remember what it's like to be in a normal place. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because that's totally... | ||
| I mean, even being here in Austin, it's a totally different energy. | ||
| That's what I love. | ||
| So I remember that. | ||
| And then also, it's like, I feel like I've had more opportunities to do... | ||
| Hollywood-type things from, you know, since I haven't even been there. | ||
| Like, me and Spade wrote a script together, which is really fun, you know? | ||
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| It's like I've just kind of been able to pick and choose. | ||
| I haven't felt any pressure of Hollywood, kind of. | ||
| Is Spade still in L.A.? Yeah, he's still in L.A. Who has moved? | ||
| How many people have moved? | ||
| Dylan, Tom Segura, Christina Pozitzki, Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| And Dylan moved back, though. | ||
| Yeah, but he still has a house here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He hasn't really moved back. | ||
| He has places all over the place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who else? | |
| Steve Byrne? | ||
| You know, his early days, he was a real estate guy. | ||
| Yeah, so he's got a bunch of properties he's picked up. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| Yeah, he's a smart dude, man. | ||
| Who, Tim Dillon? | ||
| Yeah, smart dude. | ||
| Oh, yeah, he's real interesting. | ||
| Yeah, he's very smart. | ||
| He's like a real news guy, too. | ||
| Oh, he's on top of things. | ||
| I'm always sending him some fucked up shit. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| Who, Steve Byrne, Josh Wolfe. | ||
| I'm trying to think of other folks that have left. | ||
| Did they move to Nashville? | ||
| No, just different places. | ||
| Where did Byrne move to? | ||
| Oh, he moved to Nashville. | ||
| I thought he moved to Nashville? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Josh Wolf lives in Las Vegas. | ||
| How many other clubs are there except for Zanies in Nashville? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So it's kind of hard to get that regular stage time there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's kind of like you just kind of take a break. | ||
| I mean, when you're working on touring, you're getting up at least a few nights a week. | ||
| And so I'll usually go to L.A. and practice for a couple of weeks and get things good and get things cruising. | ||
| Oh, so you get to L.A., get your reps in, and then go the road? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll be out there all of August just working on material and doing that. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| What else is going on? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| I have to pee so bad. | ||
| Alright, let's wrap it up. | ||
| You want to? | ||
| Yeah, it was fun. | ||
| We had a great time, brother. | ||
| And we're going to work together tomorrow night and Wednesday night. | ||
| Yeah, man, that sounds good. | ||
| And you're going to kill Tony tonight, too? | ||
| Yeah, you're going to be up there? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I can't make it tonight. | ||
| What do y'all do on Mondays? | ||
| Do you have a thing you do at home? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Usually weekends is family time, but tonight is just chill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I haven't worked out today yet, so I'm going to work out and get out of here. | |
| Well, after all the hits you just did, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll do another juju mufu right before I do some squats. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Good to see you, bro. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| My pleasure, brother. | ||
| Always good to see you. | ||
| Always good to see you. | ||
| Always a pleasure. | ||
| I'm going to have to check it out here in Austin. | ||
| Do you have anything that you're promoting? | ||
| Anything people need to know about? | ||
| Um, not much. | ||
| I'll probably be getting some more tour dates up soon, but everything's good. | ||
| You can check me out on this past weekend and on King and the Sting. | ||
| King and the Sting and the Wing, right? | ||
| Yeah, King and the Sting and the Wing, that's true. | ||
| We got an extra now. | ||
| We got an extra now. | ||
| How is that? | ||
| Do you fly to LA to do those? | ||
| Yeah, and some I'll do on Zoom. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| But I've even been cutting back. | ||
| I've just taken a little break. | ||
| Like, some episodes I've been taking off here and there. | ||
| I've been taking a little more break in my own episodes. | ||
| I've just been focusing on just feeling good. | ||
| I can see you gotta be real bad. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| Yeah, I can feel it. | ||
| I can feel your energy. | ||
| I can't ride this bag anymore. | ||
| Alright, let's wrap it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| Alright, praise. |
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