May 25, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:45:50
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hey, buddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's going on? | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| You're slowly opening that bottle. | ||
| This is the same podcast we used to do in your basement, right? | ||
| Basically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's just a little different. | |
| Same one, just scaled out? | ||
| It's not much different. | ||
| What happened to it? | ||
| I was wondering what happened to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then I got an email that said, your friend Joe's doing a podcast in Austin. | |
| Congrats, buddy. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| You don't seem to care that much, which I like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does that mean? | |
| You just did like, no. | ||
| I'm the same person. | ||
| You've never been especially susceptible to... | ||
| I feel like fame was eased on you, like, incrementally, and then, like, a lot at once, but you were so used to that you were just like, hmm. | ||
| Yeah, I can handle it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's not normal. | ||
| It's definitely not, you don't want to take it all in one shot. | ||
| Like, if you, like, a Demi Lovato-type character or some young celebrity, I fucking pity those people so much. | ||
| Under 30, you have no chance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sigh. | |
| I don't know how they do. | ||
| I mean, I got on television when I was 26 or 27, the first show that I ever did, and I wasn't famous. | ||
| You know, I was like, oh, there's a guy that I think I might have saw you on TV. And then it's like slowly over time built to Fear Factor, and then the UFC, and then ultimately the podcast. | ||
| And then, you know, then the latest version of the podcast, which is just impossible to handle. | ||
| If you were a normal person that just went right into that, you would lose your fucking mind. | ||
| You wouldn't be able to adjust. | ||
| You've developed antibodies to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You know what's happening. | ||
| You're like, oh, you know when someone's hovering. | ||
| You know what they want. | ||
| That's the bummer. | ||
| Not the pictures are fine. | ||
| The bummer is when people want things from you. | ||
| They want to talk to you about some fucking thing that they're doing, a startup. | ||
| Man, the idea that I would have enough time to do that with you. | ||
| People will just come to you with their projects or they want you to invest in their company. | ||
| I don't have time for that. | ||
| Well, you don't need to pay attention. | ||
| That's how you go broke. | ||
| That's how you go, bro. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I have people that I... And then suddenly I look at my bottom line at some point. | ||
| I'm like, wait, where's all the money? | ||
| Where did all that money go? | ||
| To the car wash. | ||
| Or something even dumber. | ||
| To the topless car wash. | ||
| Yeah, some solar company that you're starting up. | ||
| Can you tell me about Austin quickly? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| People are super friendly, really kind. | ||
| There's way less of them. | ||
| Traffic is a joke. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| They think traffic's bad. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Their traffic bad is like, it took me five extra minutes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a thing that happens when you get too many people. | ||
| It's like, you don't care about them anymore. | ||
| They become a burden. | ||
| And that's what happens when you get the 405 at like 4 in the afternoon. | ||
| You're like, fuck this! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where it's just like, you can't believe you have to get to Redondo. | ||
| You resent everyone. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| Literally everyone. | ||
| Ambulance driver, fucking everyone. | ||
| I went to visit a friend of mine and he was down, I think it was like Newport Beach. | ||
| And it took me three hours to get there. | ||
| I was like, this is fucking insane. | ||
| This should be a 45-minute drive. | ||
| Ian Edwards has been doing a joke about how he started driving places during COVID to see how long it took. | ||
| See how long it really takes. | ||
| But that's LA. It's just unnecessary. | ||
| It's unnecessary. | ||
| And I'm completely removed from regular Hollywood now, so there's no reason to be there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, regular Hollywood is... | ||
| Kind of dumb. | ||
| Yeah, like sort of... | ||
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Comedy Central? | |
| When people go, we're doing a movie. | ||
| I mean, Comedy Central's a production company at this point. | ||
| They're like barely a TV station. | ||
| They're like a... | ||
| What do they have on? | ||
| They have South Park and The Daily Show. | ||
| Those are the only things that are like stalwarts. | ||
| And they're both on Paramount Plus and you can get them in a bunch of places and Hulu. | ||
| So I think they basically canceled most of their stuff and sold it to Warner Brothers. | ||
| They sold all their library to Netflix and HBO Max. | ||
| So I don't know what they are. | ||
| They just, I mean, the writing was on the wall. | ||
| When I saw what happened with Ari, and this is not happening, when they fucked that up, I was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| And that was about him doing an hour for them, right? | ||
| It was about him doing an hour for Netflix. | ||
| He got an offer for Netflix, which was more money, and more exposure, and a bigger deal, and he decided to do that. | ||
| And by the way, this is a special that he produced himself. | ||
| Self-produced, bought it, you know, paid for it, did the whole thing. | ||
| And they said that if you do it at Netflix, even though he was legally able to do it at Netflix, contractually able to do it at Netflix, if you do it at Netflix, we're going to cancel your show. | ||
| He's like, you fucking cunts. | ||
| Well, what's fucked up is I know other people on Comedy Central that were able to go to Netflix. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And they were just like, yeah. | ||
| I don't know what the deal was, why they decided to do it that way with him, but he had gotten to the point where he was willing to pay. | ||
| He was going to pay for the production costs in terms of everyone's salaries. | ||
| He was going to take out a loan because he was so upset that they were going to lose their money. | ||
| Like, Ari's a really good guy. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| I know he does some cunty things sometimes. | ||
| Like, he'll put... | ||
| Be silly. | ||
| He'll dose you or whatever around your family. | ||
| He's doing that to try to be outrageous. | ||
| He's a good guy, which is one of the things that bums me out so much when he does... | ||
| Something outrageous. | ||
| But he thinks a lot about other people. | ||
| And this is one of those cases. | ||
| He was like, I'm going to take out a loan. | ||
| And I'm going to pay everyone's salary. | ||
| Because there was, you know, whatever shows they were obligated for. | ||
| Ten episodes or whatever. | ||
| All those people had counted on that money. | ||
| And he was really bummed out that they were going to lose that money. | ||
| And also, like, he was not going to give in to this bullying. | ||
| Like, them saying that they're going to cancel the show, if he goes over to Netflix, he goes, well, then you're going to fucking cancel the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, fuck you. | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
| And then they didn't. | ||
| They did. | ||
| Well, they went with Roy Wood, you know, Roy Wood Jr., who's awesome. | ||
| A great man, yeah. | ||
| A great guy, a great comic. | ||
| Perfect guy for the show if it wasn't Ari's show, you know? | ||
| I mean, he's perfect. | ||
| But, like, to be there when Ari created that show in the improv lab, back when the lab was a real lab, remember it was that shitty little dark room in the back, which was really pretty good, until they kind of fucked it up. | ||
| Well, did it have a bar in it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It did... | |
| Because that bar is a fucking nightmare. | ||
| It's a nightmare. | ||
| I've literally only bombed in there. | ||
| One night, me and Seinfeld bombed back to back. | ||
| I did it a month ago, bombed, Aziz bombed, Dan Levy, but we're just bombing. | ||
| Aziz said it was maybe his least favorite crowd in 20 years of comedy. | ||
| It's the worst room. | ||
| The setup is so bad. | ||
| And I did the improv, the regular improv, and crushed. | ||
| And I had a buddy of mine with me. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm going to do a set next door. | ||
| You want to go see that? | ||
| And he went and watched me crush and then bomb. | ||
| Back to back. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck? | ||
| I go, I know, right? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| You did the cold plunge in the left. | ||
| It was so bad. | ||
| It's such a bad room. | ||
| It's like the door is right there next to the stage. | ||
| It opens up constantly. | ||
| The bar is to the left. | ||
| But it's also, the room is 45% bar. | ||
| Yeah, it's outrageous. | ||
| And they had two years to fix it during COVID. Yeah. | ||
| Didn't fix it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't do a damn thing! | |
| We will not fix it. | ||
| They should make that bar a tiny part of that room. | ||
| It needs to be a tiny part, because you only have 90 fucking seats at most. | ||
| I'd go 40. Yeah. | ||
| Like, yeah, maybe 50. It was a good move. | ||
| When Ari had done This Is Not Happening There, I think it was like just, he would name each episode based on what the subject was. | ||
| Like, Psychedelica would be one, you know, War Stories would be another. | ||
| And you would, you know, go and tell your stories there. | ||
| And Ari said, you know, I've got to come up with a way to work out stories to use in sets. | ||
| So what am I going to do is have a storyteller show. | ||
| Pretty fucking brilliant idea. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And he set it up there and I watched him for years develop that and then eventually take it to the store and then eventually take it on the road and then eventually sell it to Comedy Central. | ||
| And it was a great idea. | ||
| It was a great show. | ||
| And they fucked it up. | ||
| They fucked it up with one petty little move. | ||
| It was also never really on Comedy Central, right? | ||
| Wasn't it just on their YouTube? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it was. | |
| No, it was on the YouTube, and then it went to Comedy Central. | ||
| Got called up to the big leagues. | ||
| Got called up to the big leagues, and, you know, he had a billboard on Sunset. | ||
| And he had a billboard on Sunset right when his special, because he had a special coming out, no. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, the Billboard on Sunset was his show. | ||
| And it was right when he was feuding with Howard Stern. | ||
| So, like, it was one of the fun things that he did is he took, because Howard Stern was like, who the fuck is this guy? | ||
| By the way, I thought about it the other day. | ||
| Ari was right. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| He was saying, like, podcasts of the future. | ||
| Well, he was... | ||
| I don't remember what he was upset about. | ||
| He was making fun of... | ||
| He was basically like, you're a dinosaur on satellite radio. | ||
| But I don't think that's what he was pissed off about. | ||
| Yeah, so that's what it was. | ||
| This is not happening. | ||
| And then his special was coming out that Friday on Netflix. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| But it was something else that he was making fun of Howard Stern about. | ||
| I don't think it was necessarily his stance on podcasts. | ||
| But boy, was he wrong about that. | ||
| Yeah, Stern had decided that podcasts were a waste. | ||
| I remember him mocking podcasts back in the day. | ||
| And he was like, you know, you can't make any money. | ||
| And I was like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking. | ||
| You literally don't know what you're fucking talking about. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder what he thinks of your Spotify shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, he's making a lot of money still. | ||
| But it's a weird situation. | ||
| Like the whole Sirius XM thing is a weird situation because you get it for free in your car. | ||
| I think Fitzsimmons was telling me they count the subscriptions, the giveaways, they count as sales. | ||
| And it's like, is it a sale? | ||
| Well, they count as subscribers. | ||
| But here's the thing, man. | ||
| If Stern leaves, they better pay him. | ||
| They have to pay. | ||
| He is it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| If he leaves, they're fucked. | ||
| They're legitimately fucked. | ||
| And him being on satellite felt very removed from culture. | ||
| Whereas I was afraid that was going to happen to you on Spotify. | ||
| I was hoping that was going to happen to you. | ||
| I was trying to get about 10% less famous. | ||
| I 100% believe you. | ||
| And didn't really work. | ||
| No. | ||
| Didn't work with you. | ||
| It didn't because you're still on YouTube. | ||
| And that's where a lot of people watch you. | ||
| It's that, but it also coincided with COVID and a lot of people had a lot of free time. | ||
| And there's just a reality to things that you listen to all the time. | ||
| You get addicted to them. | ||
| It wasn't that hard. | ||
| It wasn't like you needed to get satellite radio. | ||
| You just needed a different app. | ||
| And you were probably using the app anyway. | ||
| Yeah, and people were using Spotify anyway. | ||
| It's the number one app for podcasts in the world. | ||
| Or at least now, at least. | ||
| So when I went over there, I was hoping I would become obscure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoops! | |
| I would rather just take the fucking money and just be able to move around easier. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when I said off the air, it was like, you're at the level now where there's the levels of fame where you have to... | ||
| You just park near the trash. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where you have to go through the service entrance. | ||
| You come into the kitchen. | ||
| Yeah, and you just get like... | ||
| Vomit. | ||
| It smells like vomit and old garbage everywhere you- Everywhere you enter now. | ||
| Like, congratulations. | ||
| I remember one time I was partying with Dave in Denver. | ||
| We did a show together, and then Dave knows these weird after-hour spots. | ||
| And I'm like, where are we going? | ||
| In every city on Earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every city! | |
| So we're going down this dark hallway, right? | ||
| And I'm like, where the fuck- And then we go into this room, and it's literally like a John Wick movie. | ||
| Like you open this door, it's like a secret bar. | ||
| And it's not a big bar. | ||
| It was small. | ||
| It was like a 30 or 40 seat bar. | ||
| But it was beautiful, like opulent, really nicely done, like expensive liquor. | ||
| I go, this is crazy. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Women with perfect skin and were like racially ambiguous. | ||
| Strange music playing. | ||
| You can't even fucking shazam it. | ||
| Yeah, like don't bother. | ||
| Don't bother my friend. | ||
| Everyone calls you my friend who works there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But we went to this place and they told him he couldn't smoke in there. | |
| It was really funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goodbye. | |
| So I got all this. | ||
| That'll do it. | ||
| And he tried to spark a joint and they're like, no, you can't smoke in here. | ||
| What? | ||
| There's no one here. | ||
| This is literally a secret bar. | ||
| You have Dave Chappelle smoking weed in your secret bar. | ||
| You should be happy. | ||
| Don't want it. | ||
| We don't know why. | ||
| We don't want it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But those little weird spots that he knows. | |
| He knows them everywhere. | ||
| But he's been that famous for so long. | ||
| He's got to move around like that. | ||
| It's the last six years, I'd say. | ||
| Since the Netflix stuff. | ||
| Yeah, since he came back. | ||
| After he took the ten years off and then came back. | ||
| His sabbatical. | ||
| Yeah, the sabbatical, which is interesting. | ||
| Well, it increased his legend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's the guy who actually walked away. | ||
| Nobody really does walk away from the money. | ||
| Publicly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like most people just take it. | ||
| I think Gandolfini did. | ||
| Really? | ||
| At one point, yeah. | ||
| For what? | ||
| What show? | ||
| Sopranos? | ||
| Yeah, there was a day, like his contract was, he wanted a raise. | ||
| It was, I was aware of it as it was happening. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And then he, they shut down for like six, eight weeks. | ||
| Oh, where he was ready to quit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It was just like a contract dispute. | ||
| And he got everybody more money. | ||
| But, yeah, like, he was, you know. | ||
| Because you see how much... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gave Sopranos co-stars $33,000 each after HBO contract dispute. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He agreed on a $13 million contract with HBO after requesting $20 million per season after season three. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, but he's like, I'm not coming in. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what happens with those shows is the network and the executives and the production company realize that there's a big windfall when this motherfucker's over and it's going to continue forever. | ||
| You're going to be able to sell those DVDs. | ||
| You're going to be able to sell the streaming. | ||
| There's no streaming business. | ||
| Back then it was all DVDs, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and the windfall will last forever, and you could be short-sighted as an actor and not recognize that this is something like The Honeymooners that's just gonna exist in the ether forever, and someone always gonna be selling it and buying it. | ||
| Well, that's the thing, like Seinfeld, Friends, Seinfeld, those syndication deals are every three years. | ||
| So when they go, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld got $100 million, it's like, they got $100 million. | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| Quietly. | ||
| It's every three or four years, and then they sold it to Hulu, Netflix, and then all these streaming places started showing up, and HBO Plus, and there was no exclusivity. | ||
| Fucking great. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's great. | ||
| But it is interesting that there's this weird moment where everyone's trying to figure out how much can they take. | ||
| Negotiate how much they can. | ||
| But with a guy like Gandolfini, he's like, you don't have a show if I leave. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| And also, they can't lie. | ||
| It's like, guys, I can see how much money this has made. | ||
| Like, now I can see it. | ||
| If I go to the... | ||
| I remember, I'm sure somebody will say in the comments, how long did it take for him to bring Chappelle up? | ||
| You brought him up. | ||
| Don't read the comments! | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| When we were the number one selling show on DVD, We didn't know, we didn't think about it. | ||
| Literally never thought about it. | ||
| And then they put the DVD out, and we're like, oh cool, they put the DVD out, and then we opened up some paper, and it was number one, and we're like, number one, $20 a pop, how many? | ||
| And then you start going like, well wait, I'm making, nah, this is wrong. | ||
| This is fucked up, and then you have to, then you renegotiate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you were lucky in that you had these existing numbers that someone could audit and find out, like, no, no, no, he gets this many YouTube views, he gets this many streams. | ||
| Yeah, that's what's so much more interesting about this versus Netflix, because Netflix doesn't tell you jack shit. | ||
| Like, when you do a special on Netflix... | ||
| There you go, they just do a good job. | ||
| Good job, we like it. | ||
| How's it doing? | ||
| It's doing good. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It's doing very good. | ||
| What the fuck does that mean? | ||
| But if it's on YouTube, you can go, oh, look at the numbers. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| 50 million. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| 50 million downloads. | ||
| Thank you, Elon Musk. | ||
| If you look at iTunes, you can get your downloads. | ||
| You know what you're getting. | ||
| With certain services, you have no idea. | ||
| Streaming stuff. | ||
| Yeah, and God bless. | ||
| I mean, Netflix is starting to talk about it a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, they don't have to tell you, though. | ||
| If you're on HBO Max, is that what it is? | ||
| Is HBO Max or HBO Go? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| They changed their name. | ||
| It used to be Go? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was Go, then it became Max. | ||
| They don't tell you. | ||
| Jack, sure. | ||
| Transitioned. | ||
| I'm not getting into that. | ||
| I'm not touching that. | ||
| But you just did. | ||
| So you like Austin? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| I love doing comedy here too. | ||
| The fucking crowds are amazing. | ||
| It's been so much fun. | ||
| Better? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's no entitled douchebags here. | ||
| It's like all the stuff that was gross about the agents and the managers and network actors that would come to shows. | ||
| All that's gone. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| Just regular people. | ||
| And they're fun. | ||
| Yeah, I did a show last night. | ||
| What'd you do last night? | ||
| I did The Creaking Cave. | ||
| Oh, The Creaking Cave's great. | ||
| I'm there tonight. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ari's there too. | ||
| Ari's running this new special that he's doing, Jew. | ||
| He's doing that- What's the special called? | ||
| This is the special that he was working on before the Kobe Bryant incident. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I literally was like, why didn't you shoot it? | ||
| And he was like, oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it was fucking sharp. | ||
| I'm curious to see it tonight. | ||
| I'm going to go watch it tonight. | ||
| He said he's shortened some setups and changed some jokes. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Well, it was really good before. | ||
| There's a thing when you revisit something after you haven't even touched it in years. | ||
| It was almost like a one-man show, like a performance piece that was basically set. | ||
| Because we had talked about this for a long time, because he had a really weird upbringing. | ||
| Was he Orthodox or something? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And, you know, he went to Israel and stayed in, you know... | ||
| Kibbutz. | ||
| Yeah, he did the whole deal where they would read the Talmud every day for like 12 hours a day. | ||
| And like, you know, he was like super... | ||
| Until he like lost his religion and then became sort of a renegade. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why he's so crazy. | ||
| It's like his childhood was like... | ||
| Him and Metzger. | ||
| Kurt Metzger did a similar thing. | ||
| Yes, very similar. | ||
| Very similar with... | ||
| He was a Jehovah Witness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where they feel like trapped in this... | ||
| Well Metzger's great at that too because Metzger recognizes culty shit early on like he was like he was one of the first guys calling this woke stuff cult like he's like they're in a cult he goes I know what a cult is he goes I fucking grew up in one he goes all this shit is like you can't question it you can't look at it any other way other than the way they tell you to look at its fucking cult stuff yeah and this was He was saying this eight years ago. | ||
| He's always been ahead of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had a special called White Precious. | ||
| What else do you need to know? | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| I love that, too. | ||
| He's one of those pound-for-pound joke writers. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Fucking nuclear. | ||
| And him together with Kyle. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Alec Baldwin is my favorite. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They're all great. | ||
| The fucking Biden one is amazing. | ||
| Boston, Massachusetts. | ||
| Donegan's a fucking wizard, too, man. | ||
| His voices are out of control. | ||
| That Bill Maher... | ||
| Bill Maher threatened to leave if we played it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I heard that. | |
| We're going to play the one with him in a gangbang. | ||
| Because he had one with him in a gangbang. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, I'll leave if you play it, I'll leave. | |
| I like more. | ||
| I love Bill Maher. | ||
| I know, that's what's funny. | ||
| And I love Kyle Dunning. | ||
| I mean, he was probably half joking anyway, but you know. | ||
| You know how it is. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| He's a little sensitive, but I think Maher is a very important guy, and I think he's been killing it lately. | ||
| He really has been. | ||
| His monologues, because he's really like an old-school liberal. | ||
| He hasn't changed his stance on things. | ||
| He's always been progressive, always been open-minded, but he's one of those guys that has the courage to go, what the fuck are you guys talking about? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| And he also will point out, which is the thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. | ||
| It's like, hey, liberals, I'm liberal. | ||
| This is not persuasive. | ||
| The way you're approaching this is the opposite of persuasive. | ||
| You're really turning everyone off. | ||
| And I'm with you. | ||
| And it's like, but it feels like they don't care about persuasion. | ||
| Feels like they just care about being right and they care about righteousness. | ||
| And it's like, yeah, but you gotta, you know, Martin Luther King kind of had to sell people on the shit. | ||
| Had to sell white people on the shit. | ||
| And he, I always point out the fact that Martin Luther King had God. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| He was a reverend. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Like, so he had, like, he had God on his side, so to speak, whereas it feels like liberals just have, like, guilt. | ||
| There's no persuasion mechanism, you know, other than, like, you should. | ||
| Okay, I'm a human being. | ||
| My default is not to righteousness and generosity. | ||
| Well, it's not just that. | ||
| It's like the left all of a sudden embraced violence. | ||
| Like when Antifa became the strong arm of the left and people were supporting it on CNN like it was no big deal. | ||
| These people were trying to light courthouses on fire. | ||
| Do you not see where the fuck this is going? | ||
| They're not doing this for a logical reason. | ||
| They're doing this because people love to smash things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the way they're expressing it. | ||
| They just found a different reason. | ||
| Yeah, and like, remember on CNN, I mean, Chris Cuomo saying, where does it say that protests have to be peaceful? | ||
| Hey, you fucking dumb cunt. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| How about if someone protests you? | ||
| Don't you want them to be peaceful? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you cool with people being violent as long as it's not directed in your direction? | ||
| Well, quietly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everyone's fine with the worst version of stuff as long as it's not aimed at them. | ||
| That's why they're pushing for war in Ukraine. | ||
| Like, we need to go there and help. | ||
| You know, institute a no-fly zone. | ||
| Like, the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You want to go to war with Russia? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You out of your fucking minds? | ||
| I didn't do a joke, but where Zelensky was like, hey, can you guys come help us? | ||
| And America's like, no, we don't want to be involved in World War III. And they're like, please. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Please come be in World War III. Like, no, that would be a huge issue. | ||
| They're talking about us defending Taiwan now. | ||
| I was reading an article about that today, about Biden saying that he would offer support if China invaded Taiwan. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? | ||
| I actually think that the Ukraine shit is like a good, it's positive in terms of like everyone thought Russia was this like, you know, huge fighting force and it turned out to be very disorganized and fucked up. | ||
| It's very disorganized, very fucked up, and according to people that I'm friends with that were talking about the weapons, one of the problems is there's so much corruption in Russia that their weapons systems are fucked. | ||
| And because they were charging for the latest and they were- They're skimping. | ||
| Cutting corners, making dogshit weapons, and on top of that, the style of warfare that they have to engage in because of the way the ground is there, they have to go on these roads. | ||
| So all the Ukrainians do is get to the side of the road and wait for them to come towards him and then fucking shoot him. | ||
| It really looks like a fucking nightmare. | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| Like, wow, you really have to want what you're fighting for. | ||
| And Russia, it's kind of an elective. | ||
| It's not existential in any way. | ||
| It's just like, eh, you want to fuck them up? | ||
| Let's go fuck them up. | ||
| Yeah, and on top of that, Putin supposedly has cancer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| How do you get a guy like that out of power? | ||
| And the guy who takes over, like, who the fuck is he? | ||
| And is he going to be worse? | ||
| I've read things like where Putin has rigged for, like, only he knows how to do everything. | ||
| It's like a guy who's like, he knows all the knobs and what all the remotes do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So no one can move in. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| He's been running Russia for how long now? | ||
| More than 20 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is insane. | ||
| But it's probably how you get good at running. | ||
| I've been saying this. | ||
| Look, it's bad to have a dictator. | ||
| But it's not good to have someone come in new on the job every four years for the most important job in the world. | ||
| Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| And then by the time you figure out what you're doing, you're two years in and all you're concentrating on is getting reelected. | ||
| So you're... | ||
| I completely agree. | ||
| And I mean, except, I don't know, six? | ||
| What's the alternative? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But what's the alternative is we have a dictator, which sucks. | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| It's like having tenure as a professor. | ||
| You know, there's so many professors that are total cunts because they have tenure. | ||
| They literally can't get fired. | ||
| So they can say the most outrageous shit and they can be terrible at teaching. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| They're just free now. | ||
| Well, I mean, most of the professors I know are just like, they happen to get tenure and like fucking cool. | ||
| It's like you get guaranteed $55,000 a year job. | ||
| Well, it's also you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to get fired. | ||
| You know, there's some professors that have proposed some pretty outrageous shit, and they can't get rid of them because they have tenure. | ||
| Like, there's this guy, Peter Duisburg. | ||
| He's a professor of biology at the University of California, Berkeley, and he was one of the guys that I had on early in the podcast that was, like, really controversial. | ||
| Because Spin Magazine did an article about him years ago. | ||
| I'm a young person. | ||
| What's a magazine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Da-ga-ga. | |
| It was, he was proposing that HIV was not the cause of AIDS, but that HIV was a weak virus that only existed because the people's immune systems were already compromised. | ||
| And he was proposing that they were compromised from drugs, and that if you looked at the cases where people had AIDS, the vast majority of them were heavy drug users. | ||
| Like, they were doing party drugs and amyl nitrate and poppers and crystal meth and all that shit, and he was saying that that stuff destroys your immune system. | ||
| Widely dismissed by the scientific community. | ||
| I mean, all the other doctors completely disagreed with him. | ||
| There was a lot of literature that showed that he was completely incorrect, but that guy's a tenured professor. | ||
| Who's done, like, really rock-solid work on cancer and some other things. | ||
| But he's still a tenured professor. | ||
| He just fucked up. | ||
| He just fucked up one thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know... | ||
| I think most likely there's a kernel of truth in what he's saying, in that drugs do compromise your immune system. | ||
| And if you do get HIV while you're doing all these drugs, you are going to have a compromised immune system and you're fucked. | ||
| And then on top of that, you're also, like, when you're doing a lot of drugs and you're partying and stuff like that, that's probably you're more likely to get HIV because you're taking chances. | ||
| You're doing risky things. | ||
| You know, because you're fucking popping it off. | ||
| You're lightening up. | ||
| Like monkeypox. | ||
| There was an article that I put on my Twitter. | ||
| Who is getting monkeypox? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| But how is it being transmitted? | ||
| It's fucking hard to get, man. | ||
| It's sexually transmitted in some cases. | ||
| Oh, is it really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't think it's this thing that we have to worry about. | ||
| The amount of people that die of it is less than the amount of people that die of COVID. It's way harder to get than COVID is. | ||
| Oh, I'm not worried about monkeypox. | ||
| I'm just more curious, like, what is this? | ||
| It just, like, makes you look like shit. | ||
| Like, you grow bubbles all over it or something. | ||
| But is it, and you get a fever? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| Together. | ||
| Worst case scenario for monkeypox. | ||
| I'm sure it kills some people. | ||
| But what has to be wrong with you for you to die from monkeypox? | ||
| I think it's probably just like... | ||
| I've read fever and sores. | ||
| Which seems like... | ||
| Yeah, partying. | ||
| It seems like... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it really sounds like Miami to me. | ||
| Well, these guys that got it in... | ||
| Was it Belgium? | ||
| There was a thing that I put on my Instagram where these guys wound up getting it from having risky sex. | ||
| Yeah, they were... | ||
| Yeah, World Health Organization's emergency department said that the leading theory was sexual transmission among gay and bisexual men at two raves held in Spain and Belgium. | ||
| Fucking dudes. | ||
| Partying. | ||
| Dudes, you can't get pregnant. | ||
| Both viruses can cause flu-like symptoms, but monkeypox also triggers enlarged lymph nodes as well, and eventually distinctive fluid-filled lesions on the face, hands, and feet. | ||
| Most people recover from monkeypox in a few weeks without treatment. | ||
| This feels like, once most people recover from monkeypox in a few weeks without treatment, it's like, I shouldn't know about this. | ||
| Yeah, you shouldn't know about this. | ||
| Like, this is useless. | ||
| Well, I think the amount of people that have gotten monkeypox is very small. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think it's like less than 50. Let's ask this. | ||
| How many people have gotten monkeypox? | ||
| Because when I was looking at it, they were tracking, at one point there was 11 cases that they're aware of, of monkey pox in this one area. | ||
| I'm like, that's not... | ||
| It's definitely clickable. | ||
| It'll make me click on it. | ||
| It's a fun, it's got monkey in it. | ||
| Yeah, it's got pox. | ||
| It's got pox in it. | ||
| Pox is not good. | ||
| Yeah, pox is bad. | ||
| A pox in your society, a pox in your family. | ||
| Yeah, a pox in your house, etc. | ||
| Your hands, your feet, a pox in your feet. | ||
| Sounds bad. | ||
| But it's just they're running out of stuff to scare people about. | ||
| At least 160 confirmed. | ||
| Oh, 160 in the whole world. | ||
| I like how they call it a non-African country. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Why non-African? | ||
| That means it's spread out of Africa? | ||
| All 10 of those cases have been in Europe. | ||
| All 10 of those cases have been in Europe. | ||
| 56 in the UK, 41 in Spain, 37 in Portugal, where they were butt-fucking. | ||
| And 37 single-digit cases counts in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, and the Netherlands, Sweden, and Switzerland. | ||
| All guys who butt-fucked in Africa. | ||
| Or wherever. | ||
| Wherever they were at a rave. | ||
| Yeah, it's not that bad, man. | ||
| What? | ||
| Prairie dogs. | ||
| Four times as many countries outside of Africa. | ||
| Who the fuck is a pet prairie dog? | ||
| Why do they keep mentioning Africa? | ||
| Like, why are they saying... | ||
| I guess because that's where monkeys come from. | ||
| Or some monkeys, other than South America. | ||
| In India, four times as many countries outside of Africa have reported monkeypox this month. | ||
| It must have originated in Africa. | ||
| What the fuck has a pet prairie dog? | ||
| Get a dog, you fuck! | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| A prairie dog and a regular dog? | ||
| A regular dog is your friend. | ||
| A prairie dog is a little wild animal that digs holes in the ground and cows step in them and snap their legs. | ||
| Those aren't like the ones that herd sheep for you? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Prairie dog is a weird dog. | ||
| I mean a weird rodent that digs holes in the ground. | ||
| It's like a squirrel, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have to shoot them on farms. | ||
| They set up rifles with long-range scopes on them and shoot them because when these prairie dogs leave their holes, cows and horses step in those holes because it's the size of their foot and snap their legs. | ||
| Snap their own legs, okay. | ||
| Yeah, they break their legs in these prairie dog holes. | ||
| They're a real fucking problem on farms and ranches. | ||
| Well, they also gave us monkey bars. | ||
| And they gave us monkey bars. | ||
| Fuck them twice. | ||
| I wonder if you could eat them. | ||
| They're probably not even delicious. | ||
| Oh, I have a question. | ||
| Let's segue into Ayahuasca real quick. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Did Ron White explain more about how he quit drinking? | ||
| Or he just quit? | ||
| Well, he needed to. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| But I'm saying, was that... | ||
| Did he have a heart? | ||
| Did he have any sort of withdrawal? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| He had to quit for a while before they would let him do ayahuasca. | ||
| Because he was... | ||
| Yeah, he was Ron White. | ||
| He was 50 years of every day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But here's what's interesting. | ||
| He's sharp as a fucking tack now on stage. | ||
| I mean, he is fucking excellent. | ||
| Ron White is a great comic. | ||
| He's a great comic. | ||
| He's always been a great comic. | ||
| Really good comic. | ||
| But I think he's even better. | ||
| I think he's even better now. | ||
| He's so sharp. | ||
| He's so sharp. | ||
| And he's been micro-dosing mushrooms. | ||
| Well, apparently Jim Jeffery stopped drinking, too, and said he's better than he's ever been. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, look, drinking alleviates fear, but sometimes fear is good for you. | ||
| It keeps you sharp. | ||
| And in exchange for the alleviation of fear, it dulls your senses in some ways. | ||
| But it also, there's things that it does that are good. | ||
| There's little doors that open up when I have a couple of drinks, where I'm like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| And then you start talking about something that you might not talk about, or you see something in a way that you might not see it, or you laugh at something you might not laugh at. | ||
| And I think it's beneficial. | ||
| I think alcohol, in moderation, has benefits to it. | ||
| I don't drink to excess, though. | ||
| I mean, I do on the podcast sometimes. | ||
| I've had some podcasts with some guys. | ||
| The one we do with Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari, we do this thing called Protect Our Parks, and we do it every couple months, and we get obliterated. | ||
| I mean, obliterated. | ||
| Shane drank 15 beers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fifteen. | |
| In a three hour podcast. | ||
| Fifteen. | ||
| And he didn't even piss. | ||
| He just puts him, he's a big fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he just puts him down. | ||
| Big football playing ogre. | ||
| Just keeps downing, downing Bud Lights. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| He had a stack of beers over there. | ||
| I'm like, I can't imagine drinking that in a month. | ||
| And he just drank it in three hours. | ||
| Did he bring his own cooler? | ||
| No, we got it for him. | ||
| We had him all on ice for him. | ||
| We know when he's coming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so we get cases. | ||
| Like literally. | ||
| He drank more than a case himself. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| And was he like... | ||
| Obliterated? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no, no, no. | |
| He was very, very... | ||
| I mean, he was obliterated, but still hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And very much, you know, aware. | ||
| Yeah, there are guys that... | ||
| If you have a good brain and you add alcohol, some good shit can happen. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| He can do that. | ||
| He can put it away. | ||
| He, um... | ||
| He puts it away and can still be hilarious and is silly and he gets a little aggressive. | ||
| He gets a little aggressive, like a punch Ari in his shoulder every now and then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put it in a fun way, you know? | ||
| But other than that, the podcast is, without a doubt, the drunkest I ever get in my life, ever, is during the podcast. | ||
| Because sometimes we'll get... | ||
| We'll be three hours in and I'm like, oh my god, I'm struggling to say a sentence correctly. | ||
| I'm struggling to hide my slurring. | ||
| And then Ari has to take over? | ||
| And Ari takes over, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll tell you guys what's going on. | |
| I'm gonna see Jew tonight. | ||
| I'm excited because he's running it at 8 p.m. | ||
| And then we have a show there at 10. But he said it's really tight. | ||
| He's really, really happy with it. | ||
| And he's gonna film June 10th and 11th in Brooklyn. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Or is it 11th and 12th? | ||
| One of those. | ||
| I think it's 10 the... | ||
| Whatever the Friday... | ||
| What days? | ||
| What days are those? | ||
| Those aren't even... | ||
| Is that even Friday and Saturday? | ||
| Did you... | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| You got a new hour? | ||
| I mean, you must have... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I got a comedy baby. | ||
| I got to shit out, buddy. | ||
| I got to get rid of this comedy baby. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say, you've been... | ||
| You've had it for a while, right? | ||
| I got to get rid of this comedy baby. | ||
| You probably had an hour before COVID. Yeah, it was ready. | ||
| I was ready before COVID, but it's better off that I didn't do it then. | ||
| Because honestly, one thing that I've learned is that, you know, this is this thing where you want to do a new hour as quickly as you can because it's kind of impressive. | ||
| And when Louis was at the top of his game... | ||
| Actually, I'm going to say that. | ||
| I don't think that's correct. | ||
| I think Louis is at the top of his game right now. | ||
| I totally agree. | ||
| I think he's at the top of his game right now because I think he has a freedom that comes from all the shit. | ||
| His last two specials have been excellent. | ||
| The one that he won the Emmy for, I called him, I texted him rather, and I said, the one you won the Emmy for is great. | ||
| I go, but I think the new one's even better. | ||
| The new one's better, yeah. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| It's really fucking good. | ||
| And I go, I hope you win for that too. | ||
| But the point is, it's like, when you're that sharp, you get that sharp over time. | ||
| And for me, when Louis was doing his ones every year, I think it was a little too much. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I think you need two, and this one has given me more than three. | ||
| And because of the more than three, I've added a lot of stuff to it, and I've tightened things up and changed things. | ||
| And I've also, there's stuff like, I could say this, and it would be more palatable. | ||
| Yeah, and you also just go, I don't want to do that bit. | ||
| Yeah, you get tired of it. | ||
| You just go like, eh. | ||
| I don't want to say that. | ||
| I have better things to say than that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then there's ones that you're like, juice is not worth a squeeze in this bit. | ||
| I've got to let it go. | ||
| You've got to know when to let it go. | ||
| Do I like doing this or am I being stubborn? | ||
| Am I trying to figure out how to make this work? | ||
| Or am I being crafty and I don't want to waste food. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't want to waste this bit. | ||
| I wrote the bit. | ||
| It can fill five minutes. | ||
| It's fucking funny. | ||
| Like, I don't think it's not funny, but it's just not as good as everything else. | ||
| Yeah, and some bits, it's like they don't match. | ||
| You know, like you're wearing certain kinds of clothes, and then a bit is a neon orange hat. | ||
| It works, but it doesn't fit with the other stuff, and you gotta try to figure out how to shoehorn that bit into the other pieces. | ||
| Or just cut it and... | ||
| Yeah, cutting it sometimes is the best thing. | ||
| And sometimes I'll revisit them years later. | ||
| I've got a stack of bits that never made it on specials that I should probably go try to find and maybe see if I could rework them. | ||
| Because there's like a few of them that were really good. | ||
| But for whatever reason, I couldn't get them on a special. | ||
| It didn't fit in the act. | ||
| I was trying to keep it down to an hour. | ||
| Whatever the reasons were, I just decided to stop doing them. | ||
| And then there's some that I wish I could do again because I didn't do them as good as I could have. | ||
| Those are the ones that haunt you. | ||
| They haunt you. | ||
| They haunt you. | ||
| I've watched people's specials and thought of a tag or thought of a thing they could have done. | ||
| And sometimes I'll tell them... | ||
| I told Deion Cole one and he was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| I did with Norman, too. | ||
| I had one where he was like, oh, no, Brian Simpson, I had a fix for one of his jokes, and he was like, I'm so mad. | ||
| I just shouldn't have told him. | ||
| And he's like, I'm going to show you the next time I have an hour. | ||
| I'll show it to you before. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, good, because I don't. | ||
| So he had already filmed it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When guys had already filmed stuff. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, do you tell them? | ||
| Well, have you ever done a filming and then you have a new tag right after? | ||
| And it's the better tag. | ||
| You're like, fuck! | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Remember Hedberg? | ||
| Hedberg did that and then did the same joke again and explained that he has a new tag for it and then did the tag. | ||
| That's fucking great. | ||
| He's like, that was the new part! | ||
| Yeah, I was at his half hour, that bad half hour that he saved into, him and my brother taped the same night, and Hedberg was just eating shit. | ||
| And he started talking about it, eating shit. | ||
| And I think they made it longer or something. | ||
| It was for Comedy Central, and it was a great thing because he just owned up to the fact that this isn't going good. | ||
| That guy is so fucking... | ||
| He would be so popular now. | ||
| Like, the internet is just... | ||
| Patrice and him, I always think, like, man, those guys. | ||
| Patrice got a little internet love, but, like, they'd be so much... | ||
| Like, the magnifying... | ||
| The amplification of YouTube and shit would have completely served... | ||
| Patrice would be the king of the world. | ||
| He would be the king of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He would. | ||
| He would be running podcasts. | ||
| He would be the guy that everybody wanted to listen to their take. | ||
| Do you imagine his take on Amber Heard? | ||
| On this crazy Johnny Depp trial? | ||
| Patrice would be on fire. | ||
| Did you believe any of the stuff they said about Depp in the trial? | ||
| Because all you guys, I was barely watching it. | ||
| I was seeing more reaction videos and it was like very anti-Her. | ||
| And then they started presenting shit against him and I was like... | ||
| Ah, this doesn't sound great either. | ||
| Yeah, here's my take. | ||
| I gotta clear my throat here. | ||
| Sorry, this Black Rifle coffee, it's filled with caffeine, but it's also got some kind of milk product in it, and it gives me phlegm, unfortunately. | ||
| If you're doing that much coke, and you're drinking, and you're with a girl who punches you in the face, The idea that you are a monk through that and that you're not participating in some of the screaming and yelling and the chaos, that doesn't seem logical. | ||
| It seems like a guy who is like really peaceful and really calm all the time would never get involved with someone that volatile and crazy in the first week. | ||
| That's what you would hope. | ||
| Right, but knowing human nature, you go, he probably liked it, he probably engaged, he probably got caught up. | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| They obviously had a chaotic relationship. | ||
| None of it seems like fun. | ||
| No. | ||
| The locations are incredible. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's got a lot of money. | ||
| Was this on the private island? | ||
| No, this is in the blimp, where we would travel. | ||
| The thing is, there's clearly some deception going on, and that's why this is a valuable insight for people, because people like that exist. | ||
| People like that, where they try to change reality to suit them and make you look like a monster, to make them look like a victim, so that they can gain some sort of social credit or attention. | ||
| Usually, you can get away with those things if you don't talk too much. | ||
| You can get away with those things if it's just an accusation. | ||
| As long as you don't go to trial. | ||
| As long as someone doesn't actually hear you talk about stuff. | ||
| Because when you start talking about stuff, if you're full of shit like that, it seems full of shit. | ||
| It seems full of shit to everybody. | ||
| There's a vibe that people give off when they're not being truthful about something like that. | ||
| When you're really just, you know you're doing something to someone. | ||
| You're trying to ruin them with lies. | ||
| And now you're getting confronted by it. | ||
| And you realize it's overcome your whole life. | ||
| Instead of it being a thing that you got away with and then moved on to the next thing. | ||
| Because, you know, there's that expression about beauty. | ||
| Beauty is a short-lived tyranny. | ||
| And when you're that hot, you know, I mean, and that crazy and probably really fun to be around, like when she likes you, I bet it's so much fun, right? | ||
| She's obviously, she's got these very intelligent, super successful guys, and she had them chasing her around. | ||
| She must have been a spectacular person to be around when she was fun. | ||
| But you guys are doing coke, and you're drinking, and you're going crazy, and you get to hear the versions of the story that just don't make sense, and you go, oh, this is just bullshit. | ||
| They both sound bad. | ||
| If half of it's true in both directions, I'm like, this feels like a tie for last. | ||
| Doesn't feel like there's a win. | ||
| I guess Johnny wins in that... | ||
| He seems like a nicer guy. | ||
| He seems like a nicer guy. | ||
| He also... | ||
| You see him on TV and you're like, I fucking like this guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like this. | ||
| I miss having Johnny Depp in the movies. | ||
| But it seemed like, let's scorch the earth. | ||
| And he's like, well, fuck it. | ||
| If we're going to scorch the earth, let's just scorch it. | ||
| And maybe, because he hasn't worked in five years. | ||
| And he was losing jobs because of it. | ||
| And then he had that lawsuit with the UK newspaper where they called him a wife beater. | ||
| And he sued them and lost. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that became a big issue. | ||
| I think he lost gigs because of that. | ||
| That's what this whole trial's about. | ||
| But what's crazy about that is, like, you're not proving that he was a domestic abuser. | ||
| You're proving that it's okay for you to say that because he might have been. | ||
| What did they actually prove? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| There's no... | ||
| It's like there's no... | ||
| Obviously, the audience, we won. | ||
| What a six-week trial. | ||
| Jesus Christ, it's been insane. | ||
| What a fucking spectacle. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Gorgeous. | ||
| Two gorgeous people going head-to-head. | ||
| I should also apologize to the woman, Camille. | ||
| Her name is Camille. | ||
| I said her name was Claire the other day. | ||
| I think I was. | ||
| Claire Vasquez, Johnny Depp's... | ||
| The lawyer. | ||
| She's amazing. | ||
| That lady's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| But yeah, it seems like... | ||
| I said Claire again, didn't I? I did. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It's fucking weed. | ||
| Her name is... | ||
| It's Camille, right? | ||
| It's Camille. | ||
| It's Camille. | ||
| Camille Vasquez? | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I apologize to her for fucking up her name. | ||
| That woman's a beast. | ||
| When she's questioning, when they're going over the thing about whether or not you gave the money away to charity, yeah, I pledged the money. | ||
| That's not what I said. | ||
| That's not my question. | ||
| And you're like, oh shit. | ||
| No, I have not given it, but it's because I had to cover this trial. | ||
| There's something about the way she turns to the jury and says it. | ||
| It's like, what is going on here? | ||
| Because this is not a real person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is like psycho shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's that way of communicating? | ||
| But this is what I was going to get to. | ||
| No one looks good in those situations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Neither one of them look good. | |
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| But no one can look good. | ||
| Johnny already looked so bad that he was probably like, well, let's have you look bad a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think he wanted people to see what the relationship was like as much as it's possible to do so. | ||
| Like, this is what I was dealing with. | ||
| Like, this is the craziness. | ||
| Now you see. | ||
| Because he probably knew, when people would see her, if you would confront her with all the facts, like we've seen, they'd be like, oh my god, this is like a criminal enterprise. | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| Well, yeah, it's not on the up and up. | ||
| It's not on the up and up. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What exactly are you saying? | ||
| Can we verify that? | ||
| Well, no, I didn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just the whole pledge the money thing. | ||
| If that's the way you're addressing reality, where you can just make words do different things than they really do. | ||
| You know, because you've said, I gave away the money. | ||
| I don't want his money. | ||
| I gave it away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then she had a year and a half to give it away and did give it away. | ||
| Didn't at all. | ||
| Didn't give shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I mean, it's probably hard. | ||
| Someone's got to give you seven million bucks. | ||
| You got it in the bank. | ||
| Why did I say I would do that? | ||
| I'll just give them a little. | ||
| See if they shut the fuck up. | ||
| And they were like, nope. | ||
| Over time. | ||
| And I'll make the interest. | ||
| If you publicly decide like that, that you're going to give away Johnny's money because you don't want it, you kind of have to now. | ||
| But she didn't want to. | ||
| But that's just, you know, those people exist, man. | ||
| You can get stuck with them, you know? | ||
| They're guys that try to get you to loan them money because they've got an amazing deal and some poor girl just says, okay, I mean, I really believe in you, baby. | ||
| And he just bilks her. | ||
| That shit happens all the time. | ||
| Yeah, Netflix is full of them. | ||
| And then they move on to the next. | ||
| They move on to the next. | ||
| It's just bad humans. | ||
| It's con artists. | ||
|
unidentified
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And mentally ill people, too. | |
| It's pure mental illness. | ||
| They're fucking... | ||
| All that bad vegan documentary and the Tinder Swindler. | ||
| Just fucking crazy dudes. | ||
| Crazy dudes. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I did a joke that if you borrow $100 from your girl, that's not sexy. | ||
| If you borrow $100,000 from your girl, that shit is very sexy. | ||
| They love that shit. | ||
| Do you know the Eliza story, right? | ||
| The Yale guy? | ||
| That is one of the wildest stories ever. | ||
| She told the whole story on the podcast. | ||
| I was riveted. | ||
| She didn't give him any money though, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| But this guy pretended he went to Yale... | ||
| And pretended he lived in a place where he didn't. | ||
| He made up all this shit about his life and she found out after they had already been dating. | ||
| They were deep into a relationship. | ||
| She was having sex with a fucking complete con artist. | ||
| Just a bullshit artist who made up his past. | ||
| And she slowly would expose it. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Because you want to take people at their word. | ||
| Right, but imagine if you were in love with a woman. | ||
| Like, you met her. | ||
| Like, wow, she's the one. | ||
| And then you just have the best time. | ||
| You have great sex. | ||
| You have similar interests. | ||
| She's funny. | ||
| You eat dinners together. | ||
| You have wonderful conversations. | ||
| And then you find out she's full of shit. | ||
| Then you find out, like, she has a fake accent. | ||
| But everyone's a little full of shit. | ||
| What if she has a fake accent? | ||
| What if she's faking? | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| What if she's faking? | ||
| She's from Brazil. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| Yeah, there's always a little... | ||
| I'm very proud of myself one time. | ||
| I went to a guy's... | ||
| There was an accountant in the late 90s who was like an accountant to the stars and he was like... | ||
| And he was having parties and all this shit. | ||
| And I went to his house and it was like way too nice. | ||
| And somebody called me when I was leaving and I go, I just went to a guy's house. | ||
| He's going to jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And six months later, he was in jail. | ||
| It was a guy named Dana Giacchetto was the guy's name. | ||
| What a great name. | ||
| And he was the accountant to, like, DiCaprio and Stiller. | ||
| And he was, like, a cool accountant. | ||
| And it was like, you don't want a cool accountant, you fucking morons. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| And sure enough, it was fucking great. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He went to jail. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I have three great calls like that. | ||
| Cosby I never liked. | ||
| I used to argue with Dave about it. | ||
| It's like, no, it's not a good guy. | ||
| And Tiger Woods walked past... | ||
| Dave did something with Tiger Woods in 2002. And Tiger Woods walked past me, and my first thought was, that guy fucks a lot. | ||
| And I was absolutely right. | ||
| It took a long time for it to come out, but it was like, you don't have shoulders like that. | ||
| And waste it on one person. | ||
| His shoulders? | ||
| Dude, his shoulders? | ||
| He's got a V like a... | ||
| Well, isn't he the first real super athlete slash golf player? | ||
| He was the first golfer to exercise. | ||
| Right, but not just exercise. | ||
| Yes, like really exercise. | ||
| But do you think that contributed to his back issues, or do you think it's just the sheer amount of torque he puts in his swing? | ||
| There were a few articles and documentaries. | ||
| He would train He was training with Navy SEALs, like off, like he'd go to Pendleton or something. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And that's where his injury started. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| He tore something training with the SEALs. | ||
| And his life is so mysterious and like sort of secretive, but that came out. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| And there's a picture with him. | ||
| So that's how he hurt his back? | ||
| I think he hurt his knee, and then it becomes like a compensation. | ||
| Wow, almost quit golf in his prime to become a Navy SEAL. Oh my god! | ||
| Tiger Woods arguably the greatest golfer to ever play in the PGA Tour, but he almost cut his career short in the middle of his prime to join the military. | ||
| That's right, Woods nearly walked away from the sport he dominated in 2006 to become a Navy SEAL. Thankfully though, he stuck to golf. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's fucking crazy! | ||
| Yeah, his dad was a SEAL, and he would go to Coronado, Bud's Compound, then he started training himself, and then he tore something, and then it's a domino effect. | ||
| Well, I know Jamie knows a shitload about Tiger Woods. | ||
| Jamie, does he fuck a lot? | ||
| Jamie is a golfing fiend. | ||
| He's got machines out there. | ||
| He swings balls and he has it into a net. | ||
| So he's got like a thing set up where it measures his speed. | ||
| You paid for that, Joe. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Jamie, throw it on the fucking... | ||
| hide it, Jamie. | ||
| Well, now everybody knows I got it. | ||
| But you're like, he's pretty much a golf fiend since we moved to Texas. | ||
| Jamie's become a full-on fiend. | ||
| Yeah, Tiger's back now. | ||
| How's his leg? | ||
| How is his leg? | ||
| Actually, not good. | ||
| Not good? | ||
| Yeah, he gets fatigued. | ||
| He doesn't have like, I feel like the muscles are gone. | ||
| And so he can only, a lot of it's walking. | ||
| Like he could swing, but it's, you know, he had to, he couldn't, he was fucking, they almost had to chop off the leg apparently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when you're in that sort of a state, is that something he can recover from? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| I think it would have been easier when he was 30. Right. | ||
| Now he's 47, 48, even with blood spinning and all that shit. | ||
| I think he'll... | ||
| Eight years ago had a dissectomy. | ||
| Microdisectomy to deal with a pinched nerve, yeah, back surgery, that had been troubling him in recent years. | ||
| This means that Woods will not be participating in the Masters, instead will be recovering from surgery. | ||
| So, 2014 is when he had the back issue. | ||
| You know, those things are tricky. | ||
| Those micro disectomies, they're tricky. | ||
| Especially when what you do for a living is physical. | ||
| Well, you're reducing the amount of disk space you have, and I think people have fixed bulging disks with other options. | ||
| But I think you also can't do it and be that active. | ||
| Like, if he's got a bulging lower back... | ||
| They make it... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| So they do a fusion, and then basically the thing that should be sort of... | ||
| Well, I know a little bit about this because I've had some spine issues. | ||
| So his disc was bulging, right? | ||
| And one of the options for fixing bulging discs is they trim the stuff that's poking out and then it's touching the nerve. | ||
| In the bone? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's disc tissue. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's like the soft cushiony tissue in between the spinal column, right? | ||
| There's the spinal bones and then in between is this cushy stuff. | ||
| That's your disc. | ||
| Sometimes it gets herniated. | ||
| And when it gets herniated, like, can you hurt your back really bad? | ||
| It pokes out, and it touches a nerve. | ||
| And it can give you sciatica, like that's what sciatica is, that sciatic nerve. | ||
| That's a nerve most likely being pinched by something. | ||
| When you say it's poking out, it's probably poking in, right? | ||
| Because it's poking into the nerve, into the body? | ||
| Right, but it's poking out of its cavity. | ||
| Right, but in your body, okay. | ||
| Yeah, so, like, its range, right? | ||
| The normal range is it sits there like a cushion. | ||
| And then when it bulges, it pokes out like this, and it makes the discs closer to each other. | ||
| And there's ways that you can decompress your spine. | ||
| There's centers where they work on it. | ||
| They put you on machines that give you very subtle and relaxing spinal decompression. | ||
| It's not even uncomfortable. | ||
| And then there's also yoga. | ||
| There's also a thing called Regenikine that I had when I had a bulging disc, which is this very complicated form of platelet-rich plasma. | ||
| They pioneered it in Germany. | ||
| That's when Peyton Manning was going. | ||
| Yeah, we went there, yeah. | ||
| Well, they do it in America now, and I had it done in Santa Monica. | ||
| And they take your own blood out, they spin it in a centrifuge, they treat it for 10 hours, and then they re-inject it. | ||
| It's this super potent anti-inflammatory medication, but it's made out of your own blood. | ||
| Your body completely accepts it. | ||
| And they inject it into the spot, right? | ||
| They inject it right into where it was. | ||
| And for me, it worked like magic. | ||
| It also worked for Dean Del Rey. | ||
| Dean Del Rey had it done when he had a bulging disc. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what he got put in. | |
| This is what Tiger got put in? | ||
| Yeah, he got this implant put in his spine. | ||
| Whoa, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That looks terrifying. | ||
| It's like a new Pixar movie. | ||
| Just imagine. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| So here's the problem with those, though. | ||
| It looks like a hinge. | ||
| Kind of a hinge. | ||
| Well, if it is a hinge, that's probably better if it moves a little because they have these titanium ones that I have a couple of friends who have gotten them done. | ||
| Aljamain Sterling, who we were talking about earlier, he actually had his spine done like that where he's got one of his discs have been replaced with an artificial disc. | ||
| Chris Weidman, same thing. | ||
| There's like quite a few fighters I know that have had discs replaced. | ||
| But it's tricky business, man. | ||
| You know, sometimes you need it, but sometimes things can be mitigated with other ways. | ||
| I know rolfing, I know guys who've had bulging discs that they had a, because everything was like so tight in the area, they had a good experience with rolfers, which are like really intense massages, very painful. | ||
| I got Rolfed and it led to a very weird diagnosis. | ||
| The Rolfer I went to, his wife did cranial sacral therapy, which is like your neck, head, kind of spatial massage, realignment, whatever. | ||
| He's telling me about his wife and he goes, she handles people that have divergent vision. | ||
| And I go, I have that. | ||
| And he's like, what do you mean? | ||
| I go, I think I know what that is, and I think I have it. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Okay, so I remembered my dad. | ||
| I'd be talking to my dad sometimes, and he'd have one eye closed. | ||
| And then I noticed that I started doing it to people. | ||
| I'd have one eye closed. | ||
| Basically, you have two eyes, and they create a unified field of vision. | ||
| I have two eyes, and I see one and a half. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So at a certain point, my left eye just shut off. | ||
| So if you close your right eye, what happens? | ||
| Well, no, it'll come back on, but my brain will not... | ||
| My brain is just right eye. | ||
| So your brain is always just trying to look out of your right eye. | ||
| Right eye. | ||
| That's the only signal it recognizes. | ||
| So that joke in Wayne's world, camera number one, camera number two, camera... | ||
| I literally thought that's what everyone's vision was like. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So basically, I've spent the last almost year turning my left eye on. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And so basically, with Oculus, it's a 3D Oculus exercises that I have to do every day, basically. | ||
| And it's like one of them's picking fruit. | ||
| It's like a 3D puzzle that unless your left eyes turn on, you can't play or you can't be good at it. | ||
| And slowly... | ||
| So now I'm at the phase where both my eyes are turned on. | ||
| But it's one and a half. | ||
| And then at a certain point, it will fuse into one image. | ||
| And the doctor told me... | ||
| The guy that I went to said that... | ||
| He's like, I have patients that... | ||
| I can't say who did it. | ||
| But Carl Lewis told me... | ||
| The sprinter said that I could tell people he had it done. | ||
| And it... | ||
| It was like, he wasn't racing anymore, but he's like, I was jumping too early. | ||
| Oh, whoa. | ||
| Because I didn't have- Depth perception. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Shit like that, where it's like, apparently I don't have 3D vision, so I just do it based on others. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't know I didn't. | ||
| But it was fucking fascinating that I was just my right eye all the time. | ||
| You know Michael Bisping? | ||
| No, who's that? | ||
| He was the UFC middleweight champion. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He fought his last ten fights with one eye. | ||
| He lied about being able to see out of his eye. | ||
| He would memorize charts and he would just get doctors to pass things. | ||
| He'd pretend he could read things. | ||
| Did his head position change in fights? | ||
| Did anyone know? | ||
| Well, he always fought with his left hand forward. | ||
| His right eye is the one that went blind. | ||
| Oh, that's probably better. | ||
| Yeah, it's easier. | ||
| I mean, he didn't always. | ||
| He could switch stances, but he would fight with his left foot forward predominantly, and he had a really good left hook, which is how he won the title. | ||
| But that guy fought 10 fights blind. | ||
| How did he lose? | ||
| Did he lose it in a fight? | ||
| Yeah, he got kicked in the head and got a detached retina and then had surgery on that and then had subsequent injuries and then eventually it kept getting worse and worse. | ||
| And it got to the point where now he said he could only tell like if the light is on or off. | ||
| Like he could tell if someone switched the light on or off but he can't see anything. | ||
| In that eye. | ||
| In that eye. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I have to kind of... | ||
| It's fucking crazy that I can be talking to you and switch. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Like, I'm only right eye now, and the left is soft, and now I just went over to the left. | ||
| Well, I would also assume that, like, you would think that everybody sees stuff the way you do, because that's the only way you've ever seen it. | ||
| And then the minute he said it, I was like, that. | ||
| I have that. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Because I've been thinking about it a little bit, like, what is that thing with my... | ||
| How come nobody else talks about that? | ||
| You should bring it up on stage. | ||
| You know how you see one and a half and you can switch between which eye you're seeing out of without blinging? | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| Now I'm dominant right, now I'm dominant left. | ||
| Well, you know, I do a lot of archery. | ||
| And when you do archery, most of the time I keep my left eye closed. | ||
| Because I'm looking at this thing called a peep sight. | ||
| And I'm looking at it only through my right eye. | ||
| Because I just want to concentrate on it. | ||
| Keeping everything perfectly level. | ||
| Well, it's got to be... | ||
| You showed me the range earlier. | ||
| So it's 40 yards. | ||
| That range, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so the trajectory of the arrow. | ||
| Or whatever you call it in this case. | ||
| Is it the same? | ||
| Does it meander, or is it like the velocity keeps it on the same trajectory? | ||
| Well, it's not the velocity that keeps it on the same trajectory, but there's fletchings, which you'd think of as feathers, or the back end. | ||
| There's different configurations, and different configurations provide more stability. | ||
| I use a four-fletch configuration, And so you have four things steering the arrow. | ||
| And then you have broadheads that are designed to fly well. | ||
| They're designed to have good aerodynamic characteristics. | ||
| And there's like things about the shapes of the broadheads. | ||
| There's a lot of debate about that. | ||
| But the bottom line is then it's about the spine of the arrow. | ||
| How stiff the arrow is. | ||
| Depending upon how much force the bow has, you're going to need a stiffer spined arrow. | ||
| Because you want a little bit of flex. | ||
| Yeah, because it'll be... | ||
| Slow-mo, it's a little flex, but I'm wondering, you're aiming at the bullseye, and the trajectory is from the exit to the bullseye is like... | ||
| As it keeps going, it's going to straighten out more. | ||
| That's the whole idea about the fletchings and the whole idea about the spine of the shaft. | ||
| And when you shoot and you release an arrow, it's got all this force coming off of that string. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And that's what's causing it to wiggle. | ||
| Like, as the knock releases and then the arrow releases from the bow, it's going to wiggle. | ||
| But it's going to eventually straighten out pretty much. | ||
| It's not going to be perfectly straight. | ||
| It'll still have, like, a little bit of this to it. | ||
| But very much, like, after you're getting after 20, 30, 40 yards, it's going to be pretty fucking straight. | ||
| But it's very scientific. | ||
| Like, you have to know how much your arrow weighs. | ||
| Like, my arrows weigh 540 grains. | ||
| And they're, you know, whatever, 28 or something and a half inches long. | ||
| So you have to, like, measure the length. | ||
| Because, like, I have a 28 and a quarter inch draw. | ||
| And so then you have to put all this stuff into a computer program called Archer's Advantage. | ||
| And you run it through a chronograph. | ||
| And you'll say, oh, it shoots 275 feet per second. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then you run all this information through this chronograph, or through this computer program, rather. | ||
| And then it'll give you a sight tape. | ||
| And then you put the sight tape on the bow, and you have to make sure that your 20-yard pin is dialed in correctly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And once you do, it's like a wheel. | |
| That's actually on sharpshooters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes, similar, but the sharpshooter thing is much more exact because I'm not looking through a scope when I'm doing this. | ||
| This is just a sight, so it's not magnified. | ||
| It's just a pin, and the pin goes up and down to where 20 yards is going to be. | ||
| So 20 yards is there. | ||
| If I dial it down, now I'm in 40 yards, now I'm in 50 yards, and I can do it up and down with a dial. | ||
| So I can put it right on where 60 yards is and then hold the pin on it, and if I release the arrow properly, it's going to go right exactly where my pin is. | ||
| But it does take a little bit of calibration. | ||
| It takes a little bit of calibration, yeah. | ||
| Well, it takes quite a bit. | ||
| I mean, you have to run things through a computer program, and then you have to cite in your 20 and 60 yards. | ||
| Like, you have to figure out where your 20 is, and then you back up until 60, and once you're super confident, then you put the tape on. | ||
| And then once you put the tape on, now you have everything from 20 dialed up to 120 yards, because it's all done in math. | ||
| It's all done in how much the bow is going to release with so much energy, but how much energy is there after 20 yards, after 30 yards, it's going to slowly start to drop and come down. | ||
| And that's all calculated in this computer program that allows you to spin the bow to exactly where the yardage is. | ||
| And before they had that, it was just like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, before they had that, look, there's guys like my friend Aaron Snyder took a couple of years off of, he's a really good, like, elite, top of the food chain bow hunter, and he took time off from bow hunting with a compound bone to just use traditional archery equipment. | ||
| So he was using a recurve bow, and he still was killing everything. | ||
| Because he's just a really good hunter. | ||
| But he also got very good with that bow. | ||
| And there's all these videos of him in his yard of doing these 40-yard groups with traditional archery, just all stuck in this apple-sized group of arrows. | ||
| That's very impressive. | ||
| That's fucking hard to do. | ||
| And that takes a long time. | ||
| You can get proficient with a bow at 20-yard shots where you can get into this range. | ||
| I can get you there in a day. | ||
| A day. | ||
| One day. | ||
| One day at 20 yards with a bow where someone teaches you the correct way to release and look through the peep sight. | ||
| Something close, like 20 yards, I can get you there in a day. | ||
| With traditional archery, good luck, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, it's a year, right? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm not good at it. | ||
| I shot it on vacation with my kids. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| I was terrible. | ||
| I don't even know how to do it right. | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| I kind of know how to do this part because I use a compound bow, but it's so different. | ||
| It's like using a rotary phone. | ||
| But it's like, it's probably, there's something probably more connected about that because there's only like the string in the wood. | ||
| There's no cables and all this fucking, these cams. | ||
| Like my bow has a cam on the top and a cam on the bottom and as you pull the bow back the cams give you a mechanical advantage so it rolls over and it's all like super high-tech shit. | ||
| So when you release an arrow from one of those, it's like you're kind of like almost like less connected to it than if you are, you know, pulling back some recurve bow and letting it go with your fingers. | ||
| That's probably, you're probably even more connected to it. | ||
| How often are you doing bows? | ||
| I practice almost every day. | ||
| But it's also a part of my daily routine. | ||
| It relaxes me. | ||
| Because when you're thinking about a target, like I just have a target set up in the yard, right? | ||
| I'm not thinking about anything but hitting that target. | ||
| That's all I'm thinking of. | ||
| So I'm just drawing back, looking at the target, and then releasing the arrow. | ||
| And there's a little dance that's going on between your cognitive function, your muscles, handling the anxiety of a shot. | ||
| Every shot gives you a little bit of anxiety. | ||
| Like, is this going to go where I want it to go? | ||
| I hope it does. | ||
| Well, it's weird because there are no stakes other than personal achievement. | ||
| Have I been wasting my time? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is this an exercise in futility? | ||
| Can I not learn? | ||
| Can I not grow? | ||
| I never think like that. | ||
| But what's the anxiety? | ||
| Does it hit where I want it to hit? | ||
| Right, but... | ||
| Did I put it all together right? | ||
| It's not life and death. | ||
| No, no, no, but it's not like... | ||
| There's a thing. | ||
| If you really want to get good at something, you have to be as interested in getting good at it as you are at anything. | ||
| At anything. | ||
| Totally agree. | ||
| And it's all the same. | ||
| But it's all something of a metaphor for... | ||
| I don't know if it is. | ||
| I think it's an exercise for keeping the mind active in a way that makes it non-competitive in regular everyday life. | ||
| And it makes it more compatible to socialization and to community and to just hanging out. | ||
| I think you need to do difficult things or you try to do difficult things with people. | ||
| I think a lot of people start conflict because they don't have enough struggle, like physical struggle. | ||
| I think you need something that's hard to do, whether it's a mental thing like playing chess, or whether it's a physical thing like yoga. | ||
| I think you need difficult things, and I think when you don't have difficult things, I think you make difficult things, and I think you make difficult things out of your life. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people that I know that would be way better off if they had some conflict resolution voluntarily, like just got out and exercised, did something like archery. | ||
| Do you think bow archery is conflict resolution, or you think it's... | ||
| It's so complicated. | ||
| It's like samurai, or like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like it's a discipline that you're... | ||
| Humbled by... | ||
| Golf is kind of like that. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like, where it's... | ||
| Golf, you're playing against a course. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| People... | ||
| I used to golf, and I would get pissed. | ||
| And I'm like, why am I pissed? | ||
| And it's... | ||
| Because it is... | ||
| To me, it's like, because I'm not growing. | ||
| I'm stagnant. | ||
| I'm a failure. | ||
| I've been dedicating my time to this thing. | ||
| It's a waste of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| I try not to think like that, but I know what you're saying. | ||
| But I feel like you're saying the same thing. | ||
| Yeah, we are definitely saying the same thing. | ||
| It's fortifying, and you want to improve. | ||
| You want to be on a path of some kind. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| It's fun to get good at stuff, too. | ||
| It's like, just accept what you are. | ||
| Like, you're a human being. | ||
| And one of the things that human beings like is we like it when other people like us, and we like to do stuff and get good at it. | ||
| And especially if it's something you really truly enjoy. | ||
| Like if you're a golf fan, if you like watching golf on TV, of course you're going to want it. | ||
| And a thing you respect also. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's something to it, right? | ||
| Like it feels good. | ||
| It's exciting. | ||
| You want that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a normal human thing. | ||
| And so I think people that don't have hobbies, you don't have things that you enjoy, and especially things that you're trying to improve at, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. | ||
| And for me, one of the things I like to do is archery because it's kind of difficult. | ||
| Like when you're at full draw and you're trying to hit a target and you're trying to use perfect form and relax and just a little move this way or this way and you're going to be off by it. | ||
| You know, six inches. | ||
| You ever read off teleprompter? | ||
| I'm sure you have it. | ||
| Oh my god, I'm terrible at it. | ||
| But the thing that I've learned reading off teleprompter is if I think about what just happened or what's gonna happen, I'll flub it. | ||
| So I literally just go like one word at a time. | ||
| One word at a time. | ||
| It's a perfect metaphor for life because if you think about like, oh, I fucking... | ||
| I hit that syllable wrong. | ||
| And then you'll flub the thing you're saying, and like, oh, that fucking joke's coming up. | ||
| And then you'll flub it again, thereby ruining the thing you're, because you're thinking about the, I mean, again, the brain, I think, is, the default is to think about the past and the future. | ||
| And you have to go like, no, now! | ||
| Think about now, brain! | ||
| And it's like, okay, but I'm worried and I'm regretful. | ||
| But it's also, you're talking about something that's going to be seen, right? | ||
| If you're reading off a teleprompter, it means it's being filmed. | ||
| So there's that anxiety on top of it, right? | ||
| Yes, but, and that's the, but it'll be good if I don't fuck a word up. | ||
| It'll just be better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Automatically. | ||
| And there is the performance anxiety. | ||
| There's usually a crowd there or whatever, but you just have to just one word at a time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's an art to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Imagine, though, if that's what you did all day. | ||
| Imagine being a news broadcaster, where you're standing in front of the monitor, talking to you live from downtown Los Angeles, where the mayor is interviewing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah! | |
| Well, the people in the field don't have prompter, but there's all those jokes in Anchorman where they just put whatever in the prompter. | ||
| The people in the studio, they all read off a teleprompter, right? | ||
| Yeah, and it's like, what is your job? | ||
| You're not writing this shit. | ||
| Do you think they wanted to be actors and then this became available? | ||
| I think a lot of times they wanted to be actors, but their mom got sick. | ||
| So they had to stay in town. | ||
| There's always like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like they want to perform. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| They're not public servants. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that, by the way, the news media the last 15 years has proven that. | ||
| It's like the Brian Williams, once Brian Williams hosted Saturday Night Live, I was like, it's over. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| Even, like, he lied. | ||
| I'm like, he was already lying. | ||
| I shouldn't know these people. | ||
| Just tell me the fucking news. | ||
| There was a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death, which is by Neil Postman, and it's, like, one of the best books about media I've ever read. | ||
| It came out in 1989. Everything he said was true. | ||
| And he said that the McNeil-Lair PBS NewsHour, one of the McNeil-Lair said, once we put music under the news, we were cooked. | ||
| Because it's like, you can't... | ||
| Music is an emotional cue, and it makes it a story, and it's good guys and bad guys and heroes and Joseph Campbell shit, and it used to just be ticker tape. | ||
| That's really interesting. | ||
| I never thought about that, but they do use music on the news. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why are you doing that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why do you have music? | |
| Yeah, why are you putting music? | ||
| Let me hear some music. | ||
| Let me hear, like, what's CNN's music? | ||
| I want to hear Fox News' music and CNN's music. | ||
| Maybe we could tell a lot about their music. | ||
| It's the election decision 2022. It's a military... | ||
| They're military marches. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Or they're like, this is fucking true. | ||
| It's like why they put pillars in front of banks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because like, would we have... | ||
| If we weren't responsible. | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| That's CNN. Is that really CNN's music? | ||
| We're heroes. | ||
| And this is so fucking important. | ||
| God damn it, we're credible. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| We couldn't get our hands on music like this if we weren't incredibly factual because they wouldn't give it to us. | ||
| That book is Amusing Ourselves to Death. | ||
| Read it. | ||
| It's like boy oh boy. | ||
| And the guy fucking called so many things. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| So many things. | ||
| What's his name again? | ||
| Neil Postman. | ||
| I'm putting that in my book list. | ||
| Amusing Ourselves to Death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Discourse in the Age of Show Business from 1985. Man. | ||
| What's Fox News' music? | ||
| This is fun. | ||
| Yeah, my god, I didn't know. | ||
| I really didn't know that it was that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Coming to you live. | |
| Hillary ate a baby. | ||
| I'm buying this book right now. | ||
| I just bought it. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is hilarious. | |
| Yeah, this is like... | ||
| We're a fucking... | ||
| We're so legit. | ||
| God gave us this music. | ||
| This is from God. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It has less beats. | ||
| Listen, this is way more predictable. | ||
| It doesn't get too high. | ||
| It doesn't get too low. | ||
| And it keeps you on a steady pace. | ||
| It's a dullard song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's no structure. | ||
| That was the breaking news. | ||
| That was just regular Fox. | ||
| The first one was breakings that might have an extra up-tempo that was... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Does Fox have a breaking news? | ||
| It didn't pop up. | ||
| But that's like a... | ||
| That music is... | ||
| They're military marks. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| A drone music. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're trying... | ||
| They're just establishing... | ||
| A level of... | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| We get it. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to do that, right? | ||
| It just bleeds into the whole operation. | ||
| Well, didn't that sort of happen, too, when they started having editorial content? | ||
| Jen Psaki officially joins MSNBC. We'll host a streaming show and assist with election news, and she's going to circle back. | ||
| It's not even a revolving door. | ||
| It's a WeWork now. | ||
| Yeah, you literally are out of work for a week. | ||
| It's just open. | ||
| She had that shit. | ||
| A hundred. | ||
| She got it. | ||
| I mean, basically, you get it. | ||
| When you get the press secretary job, you've got your whole thing. | ||
| It's like I always make a joke with white basketball players where I'm like, if you can't get an announcing job when you're done, because they're just dying for a fucking J.J. Reddick. | ||
| And J.J. Reddick's great, but a cute white dude who played in the NBA for 15 years. | ||
| Kevin Love. | ||
| Kevin Love is going to be... | ||
| Tom Brady just got $350 million. | ||
| Fucking cute white guy that's fucking got... | ||
| Athletic credibility, it's like, oh, fucking... | ||
| They can't pay him enough. | ||
| So how many... | ||
| I'm thinking about this now. | ||
| How many different broadcast teams do they have? | ||
| Does each team have their own broadcast team? | ||
| Because you have so many games. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, uh... | |
| It can't be the same people that call every game. | ||
| Well, they have their local... | ||
| If they're not national, and then there's, like, Cleveland has their local guys, and then... | ||
| Like, basketball. | ||
| They'll have basically... | ||
| A local, a guy who played for Cleveland, and then, like, Kevin Love will probably be announced for Cleveland in two years, and then, like, an announcer. | ||
| But they'll have, like, back in your day, da-da-da-da, and they'll have that guy for color, and they'll have just, like, a regular announcer who's probably from anywhere. | ||
| And then when it gets to the finals... | ||
| When it's on TNT and ESPN, there's an ESPN team and a TNT team. | ||
| And then they have famous people do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the same guys every week. | ||
| I went to a professional soccer game this week. | ||
| First time I've ever... | ||
| That was fucking great. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It was really fun. | ||
| First of all, when you see it on TV, it's one thing, but when you see the guys running in real life and you could see the strategy map out, you see how they're maneuvering themselves, like, oh, this is a pretty fucking complex game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is a, you know, I mean, and apparently the way they play in Europe is, like, way more high level than even the American teams. | ||
| Yeah, that's where the good players are. | ||
| They're, like, on another level, even better, yeah. | ||
| So I would love to see one of those, because watching this one live was fucking amazing. | ||
| It was super impressive. | ||
| There are things that you go to and you go, oh, I get why this is a thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, soccer, I totally get it. | ||
| I don't especially care, but I get... | ||
| And it's also... | ||
| Where else... | ||
| I mean, now more and more, but where else do adults get to yell? | ||
| Is there anyone more annoying than the soccer fan who insists on calling it football and even writes football if you discuss it? | ||
| I don't think there is. | ||
| They'll get upset. | ||
| What is that a seagull? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| It's like someone who tells you how to spell their name. | ||
| Oh, they're out of their minds. | ||
| Look at these people. | ||
| But, you know, like saying it's football. | ||
| Settle down. | ||
| You can call it whatever you want. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, right? | ||
| The thing that we're talking about? | ||
| What did your daughters take you? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| One of my friends, local guys. | ||
| Great. | ||
| We had a good time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was fun. | |
| Yeah, those live sports are fun. | ||
| It was fun, man. | ||
| Football, I think, is too big. | ||
| The feel, it's not... | ||
| I think a lot of sports are... | ||
| Football, especially, I think is better on television. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think you get some real fucking good replays and shit if you're watching on television. | ||
| Soccer's so easy to follow. | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| You know, the balls moving around. | ||
| Nothing happens. | ||
| I mean, that's the good thing about soccer. | ||
| Well, it takes a while for something to happen. | ||
| When it does happen, it makes it more exciting. | ||
| It's like the difference between having sex every day and having sex once a week. | ||
| So being single or married, is what you're saying? | ||
| It's just the skill level and then also I'm just thinking how much my fucking knees would hurt. | ||
| Well, I always make the observation that you ever watch the World Cup in a bar with women? | ||
| I remember one of the World Cups, a couple World Cups I watched in bars with women. | ||
| Women, soccer players, women get a little, like, Because they're strong. | ||
| They're also not yoked. | ||
| And they've got limitless stamina. | ||
| And especially in the World Cup, they're all ethnically ambiguous. | ||
| And a little cute brownish with a little stubble. | ||
| Well, their legs, man. | ||
| And nice legs. | ||
| To be able to do that, to run as much as those guys run, Jesus Christ. | ||
| The kind of shape you have to be in to play professional soccer is nuts. | ||
| Yeah, they probably all end up running five miles a game. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| And you're kind of sprinting. | ||
| You're absolutely sprinting. | ||
| You're either barely jogging or you're sprinting. | ||
| And to watch them move the ball around was super impressive. | ||
| To watch them, their little moves they do when they knock the ball aside where they fake like they're going to go and then they don't go. | ||
| You really appreciate it when you see it live. | ||
| Because Ian Edwards has been a soccer fan forever and I'm always giving him shit about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's got that soccer podcast. | ||
| We had made a deal like, okay, we're going to go see a soccer game together and then we'll go do a podcast. | ||
| But I went before. | ||
| Now I'm going to do it again though. | ||
| I'm going to bring him. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking, you get it. | ||
| It's a thing. | ||
| No, it's exciting. | ||
| It's an exciting sport. | ||
| It's funny how so many kids play it, but professionally. | ||
| I mean, it never really caught on in America. | ||
| It's like school band. | ||
| A lot of kids do it. | ||
| Fourth, fifth, sixth grade, and then like, I don't know, what happened to you in the flute? | ||
| I don't I don't know. | ||
| I gave up on the recorder. | ||
| We kind of just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| But now it's more popular than it's ever been, and I think kids stick with it. | ||
| Yeah, I think so, too. | ||
| I had a... | ||
| This is a big family problem, is I played soccer one year, and you were... | ||
| Like they said, get shin guards at the beginning of the year, and I realized... | ||
| I was like, everything was a hand-me-down. | ||
| So we had to wear a cup and shin guards, and I was eight, and the cup I got from somebody, from one of my older brothers, was too big. | ||
| So by the end of the year, I had bruises on my thighs and really bad bruises on my shins, because when they said shin guards, my family said, you mean knee pads? | ||
| That we're gonna just tell Neil our shin guards. | ||
| And I didn't realize that it was supposed to be hard. | ||
| And they were just... | ||
| Oh, whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were just... | ||
| I was just like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's 10 kids. | ||
| Goddamn, dude. | ||
| That's one of those things that I just remembered. | ||
| Like, oh, yeah, that was kind of fucked up. | ||
| Shins are a fucking painful one, too, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a shin in... | ||
| I was doing... | ||
| I did a show. | ||
| I did my new hour, like, in New York for, like, four months, like, off-Broadway. | ||
| And every night I would kick over a chair in, like, an act-out. | ||
| And I had, like... | ||
| It looked like a compound fracture from the bruise. | ||
| I had to, like, do it... | ||
| I had to, like, restage it because I'm like, I'm gonna fucking... | ||
| I'll show you the picture. | ||
| Why were you hitting it with your shin? | ||
| Just because you were just hitting it wild? | ||
| It was kind of funnier. | ||
| Like, that was the funniest way to knock the chair over. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And it ended up like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That makes sense. | |
| It just looked like a... | ||
| More awkward. | ||
| Yeah, it was just funny. | ||
| It would make a louder noise, whatever, whatever. | ||
| Do you have a photo of it? | ||
| Yeah, hold on. | ||
| I need to see this. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's a pretty arresting photo. | ||
| Hold on one second. | ||
| There's a recent trend in MMA where guys are hitting guys with calf kicks. | ||
| Well, that's what I was wondering. | ||
| Stefano was telling me that you spent yesterday, you did kicks for an hour and a half. | ||
| And I was like, doesn't that fuck, what does that fuck up? | ||
| Does it fuck up your... | ||
| Does it fuck up your ankle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Like, there's got to be some wear and tear, doesn't it? | ||
| Your knees take beating, especially if you have a hard bag. | ||
| It seems like softer bags. | ||
| You could kind of get away with it a little bit more. | ||
| I've got this nice Fairtex bag that's not too hard. | ||
| Got a little give to it. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, dude. | ||
| Ouchy, wah-wah. | ||
| Yeah, like the left, it's just... | ||
| Damn, it's swollen as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it took like two weeks to go down once I... Damn. | ||
| I've seen a lot of those. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, because I was kicking like metal. | ||
| If you kick bone or... | ||
| Bone on bone, yeah. | ||
| You see these guys, they chop at each other's calves like almost immediately now. | ||
| It's so effective. | ||
| One hard calf kick sometimes and a guy's foot goes numb and he can't use his foot, right? | ||
| To the front? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you kind of get it around the edge, but basically when you're kicking guys, you're kicking them like right, you want to get your shin like right into here, and there's not a lot to protect you there. | ||
| So when someone can chop away, it goes right into the nerves, and sometimes it just short circuits your foot, and your foot just goes numb and dangles. | ||
| Like Michael Chandler actually lost a fight from that. | ||
| Like the referee stopped the fight because his foot wasn't working. | ||
| Yeah, it was in Bellator. | ||
| It was kind of a fucked-up stoppage. | ||
| You know, because he was fine, and he would have gotten fine, but it was a fairly new thing. | ||
| This calf-kicking thing is like a pretty recent craze. | ||
| Well, it felt like they were trying to chop the front for a while, right? | ||
| They're doing that, too, still. | ||
| They're doing that, too. | ||
| Jon Jones is the master of that. | ||
| And guys must have gotten just snapped bones from that, correct? | ||
| Well, they've got destroyed knees, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| So, in this fight, it was with Brent Primus, and so he hit him a bunch of times with really good low calf kicks, and you see his leg is giving out. | ||
| See it? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It's like it's not working right, and then he chops at it again, and then it just gives out. | ||
| So his knee is just not working, or his leg, rather, is just not working. | ||
| And it's a nerve thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not bone or muscle. | ||
| It's totally a nerve thing, and he's trying to punch him, but look, you can tell he's got no balance because his left leg is just not working. | ||
| And the referee stopped the fight. | ||
| Do you have a dress code for announcing? | ||
| I dress nice. | ||
| I wear a suit. | ||
| I have a David August suit. | ||
| But do you have one suit? | ||
| No, they may be a bunch of suits, but I always wear basically the same color. | ||
| It's just black shirt, black pants. | ||
| I just try to look the least distracting. | ||
| I just want to blend in. | ||
| I just want to get the guys on camera. | ||
| But sometimes you'll be wearing a t-shirt, no? | ||
| Am I making that up? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Is that weigh-ins you're wearing a t-shirt? | ||
| Yes, weigh-ins. | ||
| The weigh-ins are pretty casual. | ||
| The weigh-ins are basically just ceremonial weigh-in. | ||
| Everyone's already weighed in that day. | ||
| It's not like that's the moment where they get on the scale. | ||
| Oh, that's like for the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, so you get to see them like oftentimes like 15, 20 pounds heavier than their actual weight. | ||
| Because we don't do the weigh-ins until 4 p.m., but I'm pretty sure they can start weighing in early in the morning. | ||
| Sometimes as early as like 10 a.m., maybe even earlier. | ||
| So they've already, they're done cutting weight? | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| So they've cut weight and then they started putting water back in, so you're catching them like four or five hours later, they look great. | ||
| They're all like rehydrated. | ||
| Great. | ||
| And they'll do it slowly and, you know, take in some fruits and some, depends on what kind of food they eat, but they'll, they have to kind of slowly start eating again, the ones who cut a lot of weight. | ||
| What do you attribute the fights at weigh-ins to? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| No, I guess like trying to intimidate each other. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then it's just like, I ain't no bitch. | ||
| You ain't no bitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| There's also they can't wait to fight. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A lot of anxiety. | ||
| And they think they might be able to get a psychological edge. | ||
| You know, but sometimes... | ||
| Like, one dude, he got pushed in a fight. | ||
| Drakkar Close. | ||
| He was going to fight Jeremy Stevens. | ||
| And Jeremy Stevens shoved him, like, really hard at the weigh-in. | ||
| And he fucking blew a disc out. | ||
| Like, something happened. | ||
| And the guy that got pushed? | ||
| He got hurt. | ||
| He got hurt because he didn't expect it. | ||
| And he was fucked up for, like, a year after that. | ||
| And did he lose the fight? | ||
| No, he never fought. | ||
| Oh, they canceled the fight. | ||
| They canceled the fight because of the push. | ||
| And if you watch him, watch how he pushes him away. | ||
| See that? | ||
| See his neck snaps? | ||
| See, because he doesn't expect that to happen. | ||
| So it's like whiplash. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that wasn't his, like watch it again. | ||
| Watch his head. | ||
| See how his head snaps? | ||
| You can pop something in your neck like that. | ||
| That's car accident type shit. | ||
| This guy's staring into our soul in the middle. | ||
| This white guy's staring right at us. | ||
| Sean Shelby. | ||
| Sean, what are you looking at, Sean? | ||
| But that push right there cost him the fight. | ||
| That's one of those things is like, does he get a settlement? | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| I really have no idea other than Dracar was out for quite a while. | ||
| He was out for quite a while. | ||
| Did you go to that island? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| That's in Abu Dhabi. | ||
| Oh, got it. | ||
| But that's like, when they were doing the fight island thing, that was a giant commitment. | ||
| Like, you're over there for many days. | ||
| Because they had very strict COVID quarantine rules. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You couldn't leave the hotel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like meeting Putin. | |
| Putin would make people... | ||
| You had to get tested a week. | ||
| You literally had to wait a week. | ||
| You have to wait a week to meet Putin. | ||
| Is that now? | ||
| Now. | ||
| Because of COVID, because he's compromised. | ||
| Because he has blood cancer. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| That's what I've heard, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but are we being propagandized? | ||
| I've heard it from people who would know, who heard it from like, that's a pretty good source. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| I don't, you know, again, it's like, in the new information economy, Wow. | ||
| Oliver Stone says, Putin had cancer. | ||
| In years, he shadowed him for his project. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, they're saying that's why he's so bloated. | ||
| It's not just like some Russian head bloat shit. | ||
| It's that head. | ||
| It's like, remember when Jerry Lewis was taking steroids? | ||
| And he had a big face like that, big moon face like that from the steroids. | ||
| Yeah, I knew a dude who was on prednisone for something and that happened with him. | ||
| He just blew up. | ||
| That's what they're saying to him. | ||
| So is this, I mean, what the fuck? | ||
| What does a guy like that do? | ||
| A guy who's been a dictator forever. | ||
| And you're dying of cancer. | ||
| Do you give up the throne? | ||
| Like how does he stop running the country? | ||
| Does he try to run it until he, like imagine if he's dying. | ||
| Does he try to run it until he's dead? | ||
| I'm sure he's delusional. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, just being a dictator makes you... | ||
| It's a term I use called, when someone's in a fixed fight, I call it a Putin karate tournament. | ||
| Like, oh, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. | ||
| Like, when someone's gaslighting me and their friends are like, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so funny. | |
| That's such a great expression for gaslighting a Putin karate tournament. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, so he's got, he's just gonna be like, you're the champ, Vladimir, until he fucking dies. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I bet that's what happens. | ||
| I bet the amount of detachment that you get when you're a dictator, you know, they talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're wealthy, they talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're famous, and then it becomes like when you're a famous politician, like the amount of detachment you must get, like how do you relate to the regular folks when you're the President of the United States? | ||
| You probably don't. | ||
| But the amount of detachment you get when you're a fucking dictator, when you're literally the guy killing your enemies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can kill anyone. | ||
| Kill anyone. | ||
| Poison them. | ||
| And he's doing it in the age of the internet. | ||
| It's not like Russia is not like North Korea where they don't have access. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| Unlike North Korea. | ||
| I mean, there's a movie called... | ||
| They have access to the internet, right? | ||
| No, they have shit blocked. | ||
| They have a lot of shit. | ||
| They're not getting information about Ukraine. | ||
| Okay, right now, yes, with Ukraine. | ||
| Yes, definitely. | ||
| But I mean, like, when he was running the country up until this war, they basically had the regular internet, didn't they? | ||
| There's a documentary called Hypernormalization. | ||
| Yes, I saw that. | ||
| Yeah, Adam Curtis, where it's just like they create this weird, you don't know what... | ||
| Is real what you saw, what it's contradicted, state messaging, reality, like where they've done things where they would change stories. | ||
| Like, when they were bombing, they had, like, false flag shit with Chechnya and all that shit, and then they would change the story, like, five times in an hour. | ||
| On TV. And then, so by the end of it, you're like, I don't fucking know. | ||
| I like that explanation. | ||
| So, they, I think they have, like, limited... | ||
| I was in China right before COVID. I was scouting COVID. I was in China, and you can use VPNs, which is like you can get around the sort of... | ||
| Yeah, they call it a mesh curtain, meaning like, it's a curtain, but you can get, yeah. | ||
| And then, but my buddy told me that when there's like a big state operation, VPNs don't work. | ||
| Like, there's just levels to the amount of shit that they can control. | ||
| But up until the invasion of Ukraine, Russia's internet, was it basically open, like ours? | ||
| I would guess it was not, but... | ||
| Since 2012, Russia maintains a centralized internet blacklist known as the single register maintained by the federal service for supervision of communications, information, technology, and mass media. | ||
| Look at that word. | ||
| How do you say that word? | ||
| Neil, give it a go. | ||
| Roskomnadzor. | ||
| Roskomnadzor. | ||
| The list is used for the censorship of individual URLs, domain names, and IP addresses. | ||
| Yeah, like China, Google, nope. | ||
| But Edward Snowden lives in Russia. | ||
| This is what's confusing to me. | ||
| For sure, that guy has access to the fucking full internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I bet he figured it out. | ||
| But it's like... | ||
| Does my mom have unlimited internet? | ||
| She goes down the main streets. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Your mom's on Facebook. | ||
| Yeah, Facebook fucking... | ||
| That should be a t-shirt. | ||
| Your mom's on Facebook? | ||
| Yeah, your mom's on Facebook. | ||
| She's on the main street. | ||
| She's not going... | ||
| People like you and I will go to... | ||
| And then people that are 20 are going to places we don't fucking understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So it's just a matter of open, but you're kind of just naturally cautious. | ||
| You read one thing about viruses, and you're like, I shouldn't go on that. | ||
| So I think most people... | ||
| I don't think old people know about VPNs. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think that there's... | ||
| Truthfully, I don't know, but I'm guessing it's not as open as America. | ||
| No, no, it can't be as open as America. | ||
| There's no fucking way. | ||
| But I thought that for a long time, they had a pretty normal access to the internet. | ||
| I didn't know that since 2012... | ||
| VPNs have been outlawed since 2017 there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| What happens if you get busted with a VPN? Imagine, you're doing time. | ||
| What'd they get you for? | ||
| VPN. I was trying to watch Netflix in a different category. | ||
| Did you watch the Navalny documentary? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Alexander Navalny, the guy, like, Putin's main... | ||
| No. | ||
| It's on CNN, or it's on HBO Plus. | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| It's somewhere. | ||
| Just type in Navalny, and you'll find it. | ||
| But that guy got poisoned. | ||
| I mean, he got fucking poisoned twice. | ||
| Yeah, that's the guy. | ||
| And then they have audio of the plane. | ||
| And he's just going like, oh. | ||
| He's just moaning. | ||
| By the way, it's not a shot of him, so it's just a shot of an airplane. | ||
| They have a really nice... | ||
| They filmed him nice. | ||
| Yeah, this fucking guy. | ||
| It's amazing the amount of power that Putin's been able to hold on to. | ||
| You know what's making me laugh is when they said they're gonna put the squeeze on his mistress? | ||
| And I bet Putin's like, oh no, not my mistress! | ||
| Like, but I promised her I'd always be good! | ||
| And he's like, yeah, go ahead and squeeze her, it's fine. | ||
| There's a reason she's my mistress and not my wife. | ||
| Like, she's not my top broad. | ||
| You gotta squeeze her, squeeze her. | ||
| I mean, he must have like a harem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you're the president of Russia for that long, I mean, he gets whatever he wants. | ||
| You know the story about the football ring? | ||
| You know the NFL story? | ||
| The Robert Kraft story? | ||
| I don't exactly remember it. | ||
| Sturgill Simpson was the first person to tell me it. | ||
| It's like, what? | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Robert lets him hold the ring, and Putin just takes it, puts it on, and walks away. | ||
| And he starts moving towards like, hey, that's my fucking Super Bowl ring! | ||
| And the Russians put their hand on his chest like, this is... | ||
| No, this is him. | ||
| This is welcome to Putin's rally tournament. | ||
| Kraft explained the incident to those in attendance at Carnegie Hall's Medal of Excellence Gala, saying, I took out the ring and showed it to Putin, and he put it on and he goes, I can kill someone with this ring. | ||
| Put my hand out, and he put it in his pocket, and three KGB guys got around him and walked out. | ||
| So he just put it in his pocket and said, I'll pick this. | ||
| I killed someone. | ||
| It's just mine now. | ||
| Thank you for this gift. | ||
| First of all, killing someone with a ring is super impractical. | ||
| You'll hurt your hand. | ||
| You're going to hurt the ring, too. | ||
| I'd rather punch someone without a ring. | ||
| Rings are not—they kind of get in the way. | ||
| It's not a brass knuckle. | ||
| You want to use the knuckle, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what you want to strike? | ||
| Brass knuckles are awesome. | ||
| If you have a pair of brass knuckles, boy, that's real. | ||
| Is this the hardest part of the hand? | ||
| That's the part you can hit things the hardest, for sure, because it's protected. | ||
| The top of your hand, like where you punch with knuckles, is a terrible way to hit something. | ||
| Yeah, everyone breaks their hand. | ||
| Yeah, super common. | ||
| Well, it's kind of funny, though, that that is what's protected, because it is protected by gloves, but so is your skin. | ||
| Your skin's also protected by that, too. | ||
| When they do bare knuckle boxing, people get really caught up. | ||
| But what's crazy is, you can elbow somebody in the face, you can knee them in the face, and you can kick them in the face. | ||
| Like, you can hit them with your heel in the face. | ||
| And that's stronger, right? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Like, significantly. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| I can kick right through that door with my heel. | ||
| I can just walk up to it and stomp a hole. | ||
| That is not another part of my body I can hit it that hard with. | ||
| You're heel. | ||
| You're running all day. | ||
| Well, that's what I was saying. | ||
| So there's no repetitive stress injuries with... | ||
| You just train for kickboxing, right? | ||
| Or jujitsu? | ||
| You definitely get repetitive stress injuries. | ||
| I have injuries all over the place. | ||
| My knees are always fucked. | ||
| There's always something like my lower back hurts a little sometimes. | ||
| There's a certain amount of recovery you have to do when you're doing that kind of explosive stuff. | ||
| And you have to be really careful with stretching. | ||
| You've got to be really careful with the time off in between. | ||
| The recovery stuff is really important, like the saunas and cold plunge. | ||
| I showed you the new cold plunge I set up here. | ||
| That's fucking real important. | ||
| You need recovery. | ||
| You can't just work out. | ||
| And sometimes people just go too much one way. | ||
| Well, that's what most HGH and all that drug use in sports is just recovery. | ||
| Yeah, everything is recovering. | ||
| Yeah, testosterone as well. | ||
| I mean, look, you don't get big muscles from it. | ||
| You get big muscles from the work that you do and then you recover. | ||
| You get an unusual ability to recover. | ||
| And then, of course, there's stuff like what bodybuilders do. | ||
| You're taking it to a completely different level. | ||
| What they're doing is like... | ||
| An amazing level, by the way, guys. | ||
| Keep it up. | ||
| What an insane sport. | ||
| Have you been to a competition? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's one of the most riveting. | ||
| I went 25 years ago on accident. | ||
| So strange. | ||
| I was walking past the beacon in New York and there was like bodybuilding competition this Saturday. | ||
| I was like, well, I know what I'm doing. | ||
| I literally just went to the box office. | ||
| Handed over the money. | ||
| Was it really good? | ||
| It was... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's just a crazy culture. | ||
| Like the documentary... | ||
| Pumping Iron? | ||
| Generation Iron. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| One, two, and three on Netflix. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| Maniacs, these guys. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I've had Ronnie Coleman on the podcast. | ||
| And Dorian Yates. | ||
| The white guys put... | ||
| They do a roll-on... | ||
| Like a paint roller spray tan. | ||
| Oh yeah, me and Shob, there's a YouTube video of us that is animated of us talking about how they have chocolate body because you're not allowed to do blackface so they get all the way up to the face and they don't do the face because they used to do the face. | ||
| They can't get away with that anymore. | ||
| It's fucking super white, Bill Burr looking guys. | ||
| We're black from the neck down. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| That's very funny. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| But the video of me and Shob is fucking hilarious because it's animated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they just show, like, the guy who did it, Pauly Tune, is amazing. | ||
| He animates these little funny clips of stuff, and that's probably one of the funniest ones ever. | ||
| It's just so preposterous that people paint their whole body black. | ||
| Well, and that it's just accepted within the sport. | ||
| Well, it does make your body look better. | ||
| You know, like, the dark colors, like, they highlight all of the muscles. | ||
| It, like, really accentuates all the muscles. | ||
| Yeah, it's more shadow, right? | ||
| Yeah, well, you're looking at, like, a really white guy, like a William Montgomery white guy. | ||
| Like, that's, like, you're looking, it's, like, blinding. | ||
| You don't know, where's his muscles? | ||
| Can you tell? | ||
| It's almost like you need to put some dark on him to, like, get the... | ||
| Chocolate him up. | ||
| Chocolate him up! | ||
| Chocolate love to get the sense of what it really looks good. | ||
| You know, what muscles are in good condition. | ||
| But it's such a crazy fucking sport because those guys are on death's door. | ||
| They're ready to die of dehydration when they're up there. | ||
| They're starving to death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you're that shredded, fucking, argh! | ||
| That is so not normal. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's so not healthy. | ||
| Like, you can't be healthy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No, they just, like, they're ready to black out. | ||
| And if you're gonna date one of these guys, be prepared to make chicken breasts. | ||
| A lot of chicken breast and broccoli. | ||
| Yeah, you have to eat, like, very lean stuff. | ||
| Because you're literally trying to get down to... | ||
| I mean, what is the lowest they get to when they're walking around? | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| What percentage body fat do you think? | ||
| Mr. Olympia. | ||
| Let's come up with a... | ||
| 4%? | ||
| I think it's lower. | ||
| I think they get lower. | ||
| I think they get to, like, 3%. | ||
| Lower? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Way lower. | |
| Way lower? | ||
| Really? | ||
| There's only two levels. | ||
| I think it's a claim he made on here. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ronnie Coleman said he was 0.3% body fat. | |
| Oh, but that might not be real. | ||
| Somebody might have told him that. | ||
| Do they count intestines? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| When you're that lean, I don't think you have fat anywhere. | ||
| When you get that lean, it's not like you would keep gut fat while you're that shredded in your legs and your ass and your back. | ||
| When they get that Christmas tree thing in their lower back and they're flexing, I didn't even know if those were muscles. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| At the competitions, people are yelling out like, pop it, Ronnie! | ||
| And they take it and they have to place their calves. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Well, Ronnie, unfortunately, was a guy who suffered from a lot of back injuries and worked through them because he's so tough that he would blow his back out in mid-set and keep doing the squats and just destroyed his back. | ||
| And he's had every single disc in his back fused now. | ||
| It's odd. | ||
| They don't even make that much money doing it. | ||
| Claims this guy had less than 1% body fat before he died. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Sorry to laugh. | ||
| Andreas Munzer. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| He looks like a guy. | ||
| He looks like an open-miker. | ||
| Go back to that first picture again. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That is so strong. | ||
| Look at that white face, though. | ||
| Look how white his face is. | ||
| He doesn't even get laid that much more. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| He's got a little bit of chocolate face there. | ||
| He's also got that weird thing where, like, you don't... | ||
| Some guys shouldn't be jacked like that. | ||
| Like, it's not for your body. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You don't think that looks good on his body? | ||
| Not with that head. | ||
| He looks like human photoshop. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Evolution wise, you're not supposed to look like that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's what you see? | ||
| He looks like an IT guy or something. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's just not for you. | ||
| Without antibiotics, he doesn't make it. | ||
| Antibiotics? | ||
| Meaning his uncles and grandfathers should be dead. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That doesn't seem real. | |
| His head popped behind a different body. | ||
| That's so different than those other pictures. | ||
| It looks like a carnival thing where you stick your head in the circle. | ||
| Yeah, but it looks photoshopped. | ||
| That actually looks photoshopped. | ||
| That's gotta be photoshopped. | ||
| Yeah, it looks so big. | ||
| I don't think that's real, Jamie. | ||
| And the face looks like it's got a different resolution than the body. | ||
| Am I wrong about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You're not wrong, but it looks weird. | ||
| It doesn't look right. | ||
| It looks too cartoony. | ||
| See? | ||
| Look how different he looks there. | ||
| It's just not shredded at all. | ||
| Yeah, but dude, that's so big. | ||
| Look how small his waist is. | ||
| It doesn't look real. | ||
| The lat? | ||
| Like, that looks real. | ||
| That looks like a super jack guy, but it looks real. | ||
| That other one didn't look real. | ||
| See, like, if you see the difference, the amount of... | ||
| Okay, that's the real picture. | ||
| That's the actual picture. | ||
| Okay, so clearly. | ||
| So that looks normal. | ||
| I mean, for a super jack bodybuilder guy. | ||
| That other one was too big. | ||
| So that's the actual picture before they fucked with it. | ||
| You can't tell these days. | ||
| These wacky kids, their Photoshop skills. | ||
| It's a deep break. | ||
| So that was what his liver looked like? | ||
| When I found his name, it said that they did an autopsy and it had less than 1% body fat. | ||
| Whoa, look at that girl. | ||
| Look at the girl with the green top. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| Oh my god, look at her abs. | ||
| A lot of these articles, though, I will note, are saying you should not aim for 0% body fat. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Like, what you're seeing with her is super, super fucking impressive, but also very unhealthy. | ||
| No, yeah, it's not good. | ||
| You can't maintain that. | ||
| Your body needs some fat, and it's also, it fucks with your thinking. | ||
| Like, you can't think good. | ||
| It's just an eating disorder. | ||
| It's like a bad eating disorder. | ||
| There's something to it. | ||
| It's like a body dysmorphia thing. | ||
| The thing about the biggest bodybuilders, sometimes they don't feel big, they feel small, and so they'll wear bulky clothes to cover their body. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, body dysmorphia is hard not to have. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| No, that's real. | ||
| No, but that's synthol. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| Yeah, it's not real muscles. | ||
| Yeah, that fucking dummy. | ||
| Like, there's so many dummies that inject oil into their muscles. | ||
| It makes their muscles swell and look big, but it looks like that. | ||
| It looks like you've got water balloons underneath the surface. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like fake. | ||
| It looks so crazy. | ||
| It's also, like, useless. | ||
| Useless, doesn't work, and looks insane. | ||
| You can't compete. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's no advantage. | ||
| You can trick like one person. | ||
| You're not tricking anybody. | ||
| And it doesn't look good on anybody. | ||
| But the thing is, whenever there's a thing you can do, you're going to find someone who goes too far. | ||
| Some people got face tattoos. | ||
| You're like, this doesn't look that bad. | ||
| And then someone makes their whole face look like a skeleton. | ||
| And you're like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| There's always gonna be someone that does that. | ||
| And with that kind of stuff, there's a whole group of guys. | ||
| It's extreme to begin with. | ||
| The interest is extreme, and then it gets like... | ||
| But it's also like girls with giant fake butts, and they don't know that everybody knows. | ||
| That looks insane. | ||
| It's so sad. | ||
| I find it so sad. | ||
| Some of those girls can barely walk. | ||
| It's so odd. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| That they... | ||
| I mean, it's just bad body dysmorphia. | ||
| Yeah, it's the weird society thing that is happening where people are shoving things into their body and it becomes normal. | ||
| Like, fake boobs are so normal. | ||
| It doesn't freak anybody out at all. | ||
| You've got to realize that didn't even exist until what? | ||
| 1980-something? | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| There was a documentary, I think it was on HBO, with David Schwimmer. | ||
| I think he played the first boob... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Breast Man or something. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I mean, think how crazy it is that super invasive plastic surgery is uber prevalent. | ||
| Just uber prevalent. | ||
| And all it does is make boobs pop out. | ||
| That's all it does. | ||
| Makes them stick out more. | ||
| And you know that there's a fucking surgery that took place where there's a bag of stuff underneath them. | ||
| And you're like, great. | ||
| No, it's so odd. | ||
| And then people act like... | ||
| I've dated so few women with fake boobs because it's like, you're lying. | ||
| You're just lying. | ||
| It's people that catfish you and then you show up and it's like, so am I supposed to not say anything? | ||
| You know you don't look like the way you presented yourself. | ||
| But the reality is that they look better. | ||
| That's what's so wild about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Joe, that's the problem I have. | ||
| No one cares! | ||
| Is that they do technically look better. | ||
| And guys don't care. | ||
| No. | ||
| It doesn't bother them at all. | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
| Didn't you used to do that joke? | ||
| Like, if I can touch them, they're real or something? | ||
| It's like, uh, there's no equivalent on the male side. | ||
| There's nothing like that. | ||
| Debt. | ||
| Debt. | ||
| Yeah, like, you can pretend. | ||
| Yeah, debt. | ||
| You can pretend you're rich and you're really, like, deeply in debt and barely hanging on to all this stuff. | ||
| Yeah, that's all we get. | ||
| Yeah, and then those are the guys that hit the girls up for the loans. | ||
| But I think I've heard guys get pec implants. | ||
| Yeah, there's one crazy guy that we detailed on the show. | ||
| He's like a male Ken doll, and he's had more than 100 surgeries. | ||
| Out of his mind. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| All his muscles are fake. | ||
| He gets fake thigh muscles, and they look great. | ||
| The thigh muscles look great in his jeans. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| Can't touch him, though. | ||
| No, they probably hurt like hell. | ||
| It's got plastic in there. | ||
| There was an article I haven't read yet about how the recovery from Brazilian butt lifts. | ||
| It's like you can't sit down. | ||
| I'm assuming you have to lay on your stomach for a couple weeks. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| How do you shit? | ||
| Standing up in the shower? | ||
| Um... | ||
| It's a great question. | ||
| And I don't want Jamie to look it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was just saying it. | |
| I'm looking at the video of this guy and he's got butt implants. | ||
| It's the guy. | ||
| It's like it's his rifle. | ||
| There's not a chance in hell that this man is straight. | ||
| There's not a chance in hell. | ||
| Oh, that's his rival. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So that guy there is the one on the right. | ||
| That's the guy that's had 100 surgeries, and this is the one who's like him. | ||
| He's at 90. He's at 90? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Oh, these guys are so sad. | ||
| Look at these guys. | ||
| That look is crazy. | ||
| Multiple liposuction, etching. | ||
| So he's at etching on his fat transfer. | ||
| He looks like he's got a filter on his fat. | ||
| He looks like an Instagram filter. | ||
| Yeah, they both do. | ||
| Look at his butt. | ||
| Like coloring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's wild. | |
| He had a butt enhancement, bro. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's a hell of a butt, though. | ||
| I mean, what a dunk. | ||
| The guy's jacked. | ||
| You gotta give it to him. | ||
| Out of the two of them, I think he's the hotter one. | ||
| You like the guy on the left? | ||
| No, the other one. | ||
| The one on the right. | ||
| On our right. | ||
| That's more your type. | ||
| See, look at his dunn. | ||
| I like the guy that's closer to my body type. | ||
| Yeah, like there. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| I like the guy on the left. | ||
| So this guy, the guy on the left is the guy who has the thigh implants. | ||
| He's got plastic in his thighs that make his muscles look bigger. | ||
| And his shoulders, his biceps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, everywhere. | |
| All over the place. | ||
| So don't expect him to pick anything heavy up. | ||
| Oh, dance, boys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay. | |
| See the muscles, how they poke out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's pretty nice. | |
| Pretty wild. | ||
| That line is gross. | ||
| It just doesn't match up with the upper thigh. | ||
| But I wonder if, like, what happens if you're doing that and you start lifting weights? | ||
| Like, you start actually getting big. | ||
| Do you have to take them out? | ||
| Your skin probably stretches to a point. | ||
| And maybe it would start hurting. | ||
| Like, you're shoving these implants into your fucking skin as your body grows. | ||
| And these things are stuck and then they get infected. | ||
| It makes me kind of like sick to my stomach thinking about it. | ||
| Like, stop doing that to yourself. | ||
| You know, Danica Patrick actually just had to have her breast implants removed. | ||
| Were they infected or one of those things? | ||
| No, she was having bad reactions to having them in her body. | ||
| And she didn't realize how much trouble it was causing until she got her removed. | ||
| And she documented all this stuff on her Instagram page. | ||
| And you could see it in her face. | ||
| She said she just feels it everywhere. | ||
| There's like Kat Zingano, UFC fighter. | ||
| She had the same thing. | ||
| She was just feeling terrible with them in her body. | ||
| Well, it's like ongoing anaphylactic shock. | ||
| Well, your body's just rejecting it. | ||
| Your body's like, why is this here? | ||
| Why is this here? | ||
| You ever see things calcify? | ||
| Something gets stuck in your body can calcify. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Sometimes the outside of their boobs is hard with scar tissue. | ||
| Your body does not want that in there. | ||
| No. | ||
| You ever watch the show Botched? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I can take a couple minutes of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| One person just had fluid coming out of their head. | ||
| Just like, ugh, Christ. | ||
| The mental illness is what freaks me out. | ||
| That leads them to thinking it's good. | ||
| Yeah, the thinking that that looks good. | ||
| Like when they want to get their lips done crazy, and then they want to get them fixed, and the doctor's trying to fix it, and they're like, shit. | ||
| The only way you can get plastic surgery that's any good is to not have friends that have also done it. | ||
| So that people are giving you an honest appraisal. | ||
| Some people get it done and you're like, this shit looks good. | ||
| Well, what's her name? | ||
| One of the Kardashians, the young one. | ||
| Kylie. | ||
| Jenner. | ||
| Kylie Jenner, right? | ||
| She had a lot done. | ||
| But she looks very good. | ||
| Oh, the young, young one? | ||
| Isn't that Kylie? | ||
| The one... | ||
| Yeah, Kylie. | ||
| She's the young one. | ||
| There's crazy before and after. | ||
| She looks like a different person. | ||
| Different person. | ||
| And then they have kids and you're just like, when can we start operating on you? | ||
| Because you remind me of who I used to look like. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Basically. | ||
| What else would you think when you see your baby and you're like, oh, we can get this fixed? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| She probably said when she was 14 or 15. The thing is, your fucking head's still growing. | ||
| You don't even know what's going to be its final form, and you're going to go in there and shave things down. | ||
| With a bone saw, because you want a more contoured chin. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| And then other people go, oh my god, she looks so much better. | ||
| I want to do that too. | ||
| Ooh, that's crazy. | ||
| I knew a dude, it changed his fucking life. | ||
| My friend Max, he had a extended lower jaw his whole life, like sling blade. | ||
| And then when he was 21, it was a serious operation. | ||
| They saw your bone of your lower jaw and take a chunk out of it and then put it back in place and screw it in and screw his mouth. | ||
| He couldn't talk, couldn't fucking eat. | ||
| But then he became handsome. | ||
| Then he became a handsome guy. | ||
| So when he was 21, all of a sudden he's like... | ||
| And we like handsome. | ||
| He's like a good-looking guy. | ||
| The world rewards handsome. | ||
| He's got a great face. | ||
| But it's like he was a freak before that, and then he became this handsome guy. | ||
| It's like a really interesting turnaround. | ||
| But you know, that thing of tall guys make a million dollars more over a lifetime? | ||
| Handsome guys make... | ||
| It's impossible to... | ||
| They don't have a number on it because it's like handsome is relative. | ||
| But height is... | ||
| Heights giant. | ||
| There's a lot of factors in what makes people attracted to people, what makes men attracted to women, what makes women attracted to men. | ||
| And for whatever reason, there's some people that like to deny those things or to distort those things to make people feel better. | ||
| It's very odd. | ||
| It's so unnecessary. | ||
| It's like just acknowledge what it's like. | ||
| I'm just waiting for fat bodybuilding because that's one of the things that Helen Prochrose and James Lindsay and Peter Boghossian, when they had those fake grievance studies, one of the things they wrote about, they had fake papers that got critically acclaimed and they got reviewed and even won awards for fake papers. | ||
| But one of them was about fat bodybuilding. | ||
| They were talking about bodybuilding being more inclusive to fat people. | ||
| They wrote this nonsense fake paper that got reviewed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was about fat. | ||
| But I'm not thinking that's too far off, man. | ||
| Have you seen this whole Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue thing where it's like people are talking about these people's bodies and this is terrible. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Well, it's a different thing. | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| Because what it used to be, the swimsuit issue used to be, look at these insane bodies of these incredible athletes and these gorgeous models that are like, you know, the rarest of rare human beings. | ||
| It's unusual to look at. | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And you would see, like, Kate Upton and, you know, Ronda Rousey was on the cover of one of them. | ||
| You would see... | ||
| No, that was a different one. | ||
| She was on the cover of the naked issue. | ||
| She was on the body issue, yeah. | ||
| But you're seeing these amazing bodies. | ||
| And then in this they're saying, well, these women have value too. | ||
| Well, the thing is, it's like, well, are you talking about personalities? | ||
| Yeah, if you're talking about personalities, then what are you doing? | ||
| Because you're going, she weighs 300 pounds, but she's got good skin. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you're still saying, you're still putting value on symmetry, or skin, or shape, or something that people can't control. | ||
| So it's just like a little less hypocritical, but it's still, either you're talking about like, she has a beautiful spirit, just put a paraplegic, put someone who is just, or someone who's a great writer, or a great comedian, or someone that's like a great, has a great personality. | ||
| Well, I'd say do whatever the fuck you want to do, if that's what Sports Illustrated wants to do. | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with having those girls on it. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with any of it. | ||
| But it's a different thing. | ||
| This is a different thing than it used to be. | ||
| And that's what I'm saying about bodybuilding. | ||
| Like, if bodybuilding, if everybody looks like Burt Kreischer, and they're like, that's beautiful too. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| That's not what we're here for. | ||
| We're here for freaks. | ||
| The argument is that we're conditioned to certain shapes. | ||
| But that's not true. | ||
| It's like evolution-wise, and they go, what about Botticelli? | ||
| And the women were bigger and plumper back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nobody had any food. | |
| Yeah, it was a sign of no one had food, and the people who had food were high status. | ||
| And once we learned about nutrition, and once we learned about health and arteries... | ||
| I don't think the beauty standard changed. | ||
| I would argue good skin would work at any period in the last 14,000 years. | ||
| Here's an undeniable truth that we accept wholeheartedly with men. | ||
| When you are overweight, you have more of a chance of having a heart attack, more of a chance of all sorts of other cardiovascular issues, all kinds of increased inflammatory markers that lead to a bunch of different diabetes. | ||
| It's just not good to be overweight. | ||
| Just accept it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But we never think that way when it comes to the public declaration that all bodies are beautiful. | ||
| Right. | ||
| All bodies are beautiful means I ignore all the health consequences of the choices you've made to make you feel better. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's either you are the rarest of rare that had literally no say in what you ate and someone fed you and turned you into that thing and you really wish you didn't have to eat all that food. | ||
| I think some people have like hormonal or glandular... | ||
| You don't have to think it. | ||
| They do. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| And they can eat 1,500 calories and they'll still be... | ||
| That's generally not true. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have slower metabolisms, but calories in, calories out is pretty strict science. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| People do have faster metabolism. | ||
| They burn off more. | ||
| But if you're only taking in 1,500 calories, you keep gaining weight. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's like, where's the mass coming from? | ||
| How's it being fed? | ||
| You have to overeat to get morbidly obese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like when you're looking at people- Oh yeah, morbidly obese, but I'm just talking about like plump or whatever, yeah. | |
| A lot of these, if that was a man, you'd say morbidly obese in some of them. | ||
| Well, it's like, would they say a heroin addict is beautiful? | ||
| I guess they did during the heroin chic, but like, I think it was more a look. | ||
| But like, would Sports Illustrated put a heroin addict woman on the cover? | ||
| They would say that she has a problem. | ||
| But why doesn't, what's the, aren't they, the portfolio of health issues, I'm sure, are relatively similar. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| Yeah, it's one of the worst things you can do for your overall metabolic health is make your body carry around an extra 150 pounds. | ||
| It's terrible for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just not good for you. | ||
| And so you can say you like the way you look this way, and I say, good on you. | ||
| Have fun. | ||
| But if you try to say that it's healthy, you're really talking crazy. | ||
| And the reason why I have to say anything about it is because there's probably someone out there that might believe you. | ||
| There's probably someone out there that's listening to that and saying, oh, it is healthy to be 150 pounds overweight, and they don't give a fuck about the fact that they're overweight. | ||
| And maybe, maybe, if they didn't hear you say that, they would take into consideration the fact that these people that aren't this heavy seem to be happier. | ||
| They seem to have more energy. | ||
| They seem to be able to get more done. | ||
| They're not in pain all the time. | ||
| Maybe I could get there. | ||
| And then you find out about people who did get there online. | ||
| And they give their success stories and talk about how they used to deny it. | ||
| They used to be in denial. | ||
| They used to lie to themselves and say that I feel great. | ||
| I don't need it. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what I look like. | ||
| But then slowly but surely they came to the realization that it's a terrible life choice. | ||
| And then they did the right thing, they ate well, they dieted, they exercised, and they slowly but surely got to a healthy weight and they feel infinitely better. | ||
| That's the message I want to hear. | ||
| I don't want to hear, you know, it's healthy to be 150 pounds overweight. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| If you choose to be 150 pounds overweight, good luck to you. | ||
| I hope you don't encounter any health consequences. | ||
| I hope you live a long, healthy life. | ||
| But the reality of what we know about the human body is if you continue to be grossly overweight for long periods of time, there's a high likelihood that something's going to go wrong. | ||
| That's just a fact. | ||
| This doesn't mean we don't love you. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're a piece of shit. | ||
| It's like you're making bad decisions somewhere. | ||
| And they're having repercussions for you individually, and they're also having repercussions in the healthcare system overall. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Because if 40, what's the stat, 40 or 50% of people are obese now? | ||
| I think it's, we did it recently. | ||
| What was it, Jamie? | ||
| It was in the 40s, right? | ||
| Somewhere in the 40s, I think. | ||
| Yeah, it's like holding someone to a standard. | ||
| I think the rest of the people are lying. | ||
| I think it's higher than 40. I really do. | ||
| Yeah, if you go to the airport, it seems like more than 40. If you go to Disneyland, you're going to be like, oh, we've got a real problem. | ||
| Go to Knott's Berry Farm. | ||
| Do you know what's interesting about Disneyland? | ||
| You don't have to be fat or injured to take one of them scooters. | ||
| You sure don't. | ||
| You can just get a scooter. | ||
| Yeah, but that's weird. | ||
| That's a loophole. | ||
| Like, if everybody knew that all you have to do is just bring a fucking motor scooter and get around Disneyland, like everybody knew, and it's just an availability issue, and what if they ramped up the number of scooters? | ||
| What if Disneyland becomes fucking Scooterville and no one's walking around? | ||
| You don't even get any exercise. | ||
| Do you think people are abusing it? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I saw a girl I thought was abusing it. | ||
| I saw her, I was like, bitch. | ||
| Well, it's the comfort. | ||
| You should be walking. | ||
| Comfort cart. | ||
| I know, but maybe she's injured. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I saw a guy jump right off of one, and then I asked them. | ||
| I said, Ed, when you have... | ||
| Because when our kids were young, we'd get a stroller. | ||
| You could rent a stroller there. | ||
| And so, you know, they'd get tired. | ||
| They're four years old, walking around Disney World or Disneyland. | ||
| But when you go up there, I go, what do you have to have wrong with you to use the motorized one? | ||
| Like nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tja. | |
| You can just get around a scooter! | ||
| You could get around. | ||
| I mean, you could get a bird scooter, basically. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I mean, you know what I mean? | ||
| But everybody else is walking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I guess with some people, they can't really walk that much. | ||
| Some people, it makes sense. | ||
| Old people, it makes sense. | ||
| It's like cultural values where it's like health versus discipline, right? | ||
| Or self-esteem versus discipline. | ||
| Those are the two poles to me. | ||
| Those are the two... | ||
| What you just said versus like, yeah, but they're nice and we don't want to shame people. | ||
| And the truth about shame in my experience is it's a catalyst. | ||
| For movement. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a catalyst for change. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a catalyst for improvement a lot of the time. | ||
| Did I overly beat myself up and that probably led to depression? | ||
| Yeah, but I also got good at shit. | ||
| It's like one of those things like, I see the point of not shaming people, but also... | ||
| The shame itself can be beneficial. | ||
| The point in not shaming people is don't be a cunt. | ||
| And the thing is, you're going to have people, there's going to be plenty of people out there that don't get the hint, they don't get that memo, and they just act like cunts. | ||
| Don't contribute to that. | ||
| But don't think that things that make you feel bad don't have some real benefit to them. | ||
| Because they really do. | ||
| There's things that make you feel bad that if you could just figure it out, you're going to be better because of this. | ||
| Yeah, it would be like not doing interventions on drug addicts because we don't want to shame them. | ||
| It's like, well, what do you call it? | ||
| It's like, hold them to a standard. | ||
| People say it's, I'm worried about you're going to die. | ||
| That's kind of like the theme of most interventions. | ||
| It's also, people waste their lives. | ||
| They get caught in these patterns. | ||
| And you need something sometimes to step in that gives you a little break from that pattern that lets you sort of reset and reassess. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that do that and then they jump right back on the horse. | ||
| But a lot of people don't. | ||
| It's a good number. | ||
| It's a good number of people that get sober. | ||
| I've known many in my life. | ||
| And some of them with zero programs. | ||
| My friend Dave Dolan, he quit drinking cold turkey when he crashed his car and abandoned it at the scene and then got in trouble and got his driver's license taken away. | ||
| He was like, fuck this, I'm quitting. | ||
| They shamed him? | ||
| The police shamed him? | ||
| Well, he was ashamed personally. | ||
| I don't think the police even did it. | ||
| They held him to a standard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And is that shaming? | ||
| If you feel shamed, does that mean someone shamed you? | ||
| It's like bombing. | ||
| Bombing can be a tonic. | ||
| Where you're like, oh, because there are nights where you're crushing and you're like, am I Richard Pryor? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Seems like I might be Richard Pryor. | ||
| And then you fucking bomb the next night. | ||
| You're like, okay. | ||
| Back to the drawing board or that, you know, I will stop doing that tag. | ||
| I will stop doing that order. | ||
| I will stop doing whatever I did. | ||
| Did the audience shame me? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They had a natural reaction. | ||
| The problem is it's a verb. | ||
| It's a state. | ||
| It's not like them shaming you. | ||
| It's like they did something. | ||
| No, they didn't like what you were doing, and they had criticism. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| And also, it's like for comics, there's the moment after you fucking film when you have sheer terror because you realize, I don't really have an act anymore. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Oh my god, that's the scariest fucking moment of comedy. | ||
| I think I may have, because I've waited so long, I have the hour I've been doing and I have a new half. | ||
| And by the time I film it, Joey, I can, you know, if I don't have 45, I'm an idiot. | ||
| I'm counting up premises right now. | ||
| I'm counting up premises. | ||
| I'm going to cut some extra premises. | ||
| I gotta wait till I give birth to this comedy baby and then I gotta get some mushrooms in my system. | ||
| I need like a good one. | ||
| Like mushrooms and like two grams in the notebook or five grams in the notebook? | ||
| Five grams in the tank with a phone on that you can say hey Siri and give voice notes to. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta do the Hey Siri thing. | ||
| I tried for a while to have like a tape recorder running, like one of the little digital recorders, and I had it velcroed in there, but everything gets fucked up from the moisture and the salt in the air. | ||
| It fucks up the electronics. | ||
| And then I also tried the I'll remember this method, which is the worst. | ||
| No you won't. | ||
| Hi, I've used the I'll remember this method and know you won't. | ||
| You will, but not, you might, a lot of times you can't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I text my other phone ideas sometimes. | ||
| I have a notebook. | ||
| I mean, I have the notes app. | ||
| Yeah, I have the notes app too. | ||
| You could say that, hey Siri, make a note, and it'll do that. | ||
| You could do that. | ||
| I've done that in the car before. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| If you're driving, then all of a sudden you have this idea. | ||
| You don't even have to touch your phone. | ||
| Just say, hey Siri, and start talking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it'll leave a pretty fucking good representation of what you said in terms of like the way that- Yeah, the captions on- Pretty close. | ||
| On Instagram are like, you're fucking, you're pretty good at this. | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| Just fucking talking into it. | ||
| It's pretty amazing. | ||
| Pretty amazing what they could do now with that. | ||
| They have it now where you can listen to someone talk in another language and they'll translate it for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| There was one I saw the other day where it's glasses. | ||
| Or it's an earpiece or something where it'll come in. | ||
| It's Google's. | ||
| It's for the Pixel phone. | ||
| I think that's the only thing it works on. | ||
| Is that the only thing it works on? | ||
| Does it work on other devices? | ||
| It's just a Google Buds, right? | ||
| Okay, but it has nothing to do with the actual headphones themselves? | ||
| So the app would work on an iPhone as well? | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm pretty sure of that. | |
| Oh, I thought that was a feature exclusive to the Pixel phone, which is one of the things that was a selling point of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We could test it right now. | |
| It's like a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You used to have like a deal for an Android company, right? | ||
| Didn't you? | ||
| I did the voiceover for Samsung. | ||
| For a long... | ||
| That's like sweet cake, son. | ||
| A couple years. | ||
| You're telling me, Joe. | ||
| Want any coffee? | ||
| No, thanks. | ||
| That was a sweet gig. | ||
| That was a great gig. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Really, really nice gig. | ||
| Raking in that cheddar. | ||
| But did you have to use an Android phone? | ||
| Because you had an Android phone for a while during that time. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| And then I secretly... | ||
| Why did you shake that? | ||
| It's going to explode. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I've never had it before. | ||
| Now I'm going to punish it. | ||
| I'm going to shame it. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| I don't think it's carbonated. | ||
| You should check, but I don't think it's carbonated. | ||
| I'm just joking. | ||
| If it was a kill cliff, it would blow the roof off. | ||
| I want to talk about, because I'm your depression correspondent... | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| I've needed one for a while. | ||
| I think I've been it. | ||
| Because, by the way, most people... | ||
| The things I've talked about, the electromagnetic stimulation, that's a big one. | ||
| Electrocranial EC... Whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Electrocranial... | |
| Why am I forgetting? | ||
| Let's give everybody the rundown that hasn't heard you on here before. | ||
| Here's what I've done. | ||
| I did... | ||
| Zoloft for a long time, right? | ||
| 15 years of Zoloft. | ||
| 15 years of Zoloft and a little bit of Welbutrin. | ||
| And then I tried ketamine. | ||
| Did a week of ketamine and I just didn't like it. | ||
| No, but you just tell people what the history of depression is. | ||
| What is your history? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I always felt... | ||
| We used to just call it a New York attitude. | ||
| And then in the 90s, we called it a New York... | ||
| And then I realized I don't experience joy. | ||
| I just don't really experience joy very much. | ||
| And there's a thing called dysthymia. | ||
| So I went to a therapist. | ||
| They diagnosed me with dysthymia in 1998 or 1999 and started taking Zoloft and was like I liked it. | ||
| I remember saying to Dave like I don't want to dance but I understand why people dance. | ||
| The first time I'd ever understood. | ||
| I was like, I understand it. | ||
| I don't want to do it, but like, yeah, I get it. | ||
| I can see what's relevant about it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And, uh, and... | ||
| So was on Zola for a long time and kind of had no side effects from it. | ||
| Like, sexually I could actually last longer, so I was like, great. | ||
| Can I ask you something about this never having joy? | ||
| But what about when you kill? | ||
| Like, what about stand-up? | ||
| That was adrenaline. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just adrenaline. | ||
| Like, when Rock gets offstage, his pupils are like, he looks like a zombie. | ||
| Like, his pupils are so dilated from all the oxytocin. | ||
| Like, more than anyone I've seen get offstage. | ||
| We all have, like, a glow when you kill and you go, like, well, they were nice. | ||
| But he gets, like, really fucking dilated. | ||
| So I would just get like, oh, good. | ||
| So you would just get like a relief? | ||
| Yeah, I would just get like probably ego, but not elation. | ||
| But not like, ooh, that was fun. | ||
| Yeah, not elation. | ||
| Is there a thing you do that gives you like a video game or any kind of activity that gives you, ooh, that was fun? | ||
| I would go historically. | ||
| Grand Theft Auto. | ||
| I'm so serious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Grand Theft Auto, especially the one in Miami where you said Vice City, I think, that would really hit me. | ||
| How long before they do that for the Oculus and give you like a fake car to sit in? | ||
| Please. | ||
| You know how wild that would be? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| My friend Peter, he's like a serious car driver. | ||
| He has an actual race car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he has a F1 simulator in his house. | ||
| So he has like a steering wheel and the screens wrap around. | ||
| Do you watch the show on Netflix, by the way? | ||
| No. | ||
| Everybody keeps telling me I have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I'm just going to be the third one. | ||
| If you want to start with an episode, it's called Man on Fire, Episode 3. I start with Episode 1, bro. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm not cheating. | ||
| I mean, you're not going to get skimped. | ||
| I'm just saying, like, one of the best... | ||
| Camera coverage and narrative and a near-perfect television show. | ||
| I can't wait, because everybody says it's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know, they have a Formula One track here, and so last year we went to Circuit of the Americas to watch Formula One races. | ||
| Oh right, they do a race now here, right? | ||
| Dude, it's wild watching those things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're very fast. | ||
| They're so fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the amount of traction that they have, the way they can cut corners, it's insane. | ||
| And so Peter has this thing in his house, and it's got a shifter and everything, and he said, this is like a rudimentary version of there's one that's worth $1.5 million, and you sit in a fucking car. | ||
| You sit in a car, and there's a LCD screen that wraps entirely around it, and the thing moves like the way the car does. | ||
| So as you're going, it banks. | ||
| The car like actually has some give to. | ||
| I feel like every team has one at this point. | ||
| They must. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because otherwise you're just, you're either doing that and you're getting like really close skill development or you're risking your fucking life like whipping around the track every day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which I think you probably have to do too. | |
| It's also not easy and it's not good for the car. | ||
| Like the cars can't really run that long. | ||
| I wonder if they do train on it or if it's just a supplementary thing. | ||
| Because I would imagine there's no substitute for actually making the decision to hit the corner at the right time. | ||
| There's no substitute for getting the timing of the lines. | ||
| I know they all do the simulators because they show it. | ||
| Whether it's the $1.5 million or the 100 grand one. | ||
| I wonder how much they supplement with that. | ||
| You know, it doesn't make sense, though, that if you did both the racing, like, you know, and do certain amount of actual track racing, certain amount of track running, you know, and practicing, and then a certain amount of simulation, it would definitely up your numbers. | ||
| Like, it's all about getting the numbers in, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And getting the reactions right. | |
| Especially if you've never been to a track before, like if they can give you a simulation and you can download, you know, a simulation of that track and you do all the turns in the right order. | ||
| That's what they do, yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's a great thing. | ||
| They have like the tracks and then they, yeah, they have to know. | ||
| It's like a golf course where they have to know the exact... | ||
| Yeah, but you don't have any time to make fuck-ups, like unlike golf. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Golf, you have a lot of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're... | |
| No, it's so fucking dangerous. | ||
| It's so dangerous. | ||
| And what they're doing now with cars, just regular production cars, you're getting regular production cars that have near supercar capabilities. | ||
| Well, I was doing a joke about it when you were saying, well, what gives me joy? | ||
| When I drove a Tesla and hit the gas, I laughed out loud. | ||
| I literally laughed, and I was like, I have to get one, because nothing makes me laugh out loud. | ||
| I laughed out loud. | ||
| Like, goddammit, this is funny. | ||
| And I don't even care about speed or cars, like shit like that. | ||
| The thing about it is, though, it's actually safe. | ||
| Because if you wanted to merge into traffic, if something went wrong and you had to get away from something really quick, you could get away from stuff quick. | ||
| I've used it, yeah. | ||
| Well, that's why it helps me drive like an asshole, because I can cut people off and then be like, I won't play that. | ||
| I'll be out of your hair in a second. | ||
| It's silent too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're cutting, you're taking off. | ||
| It's victimless. | ||
| Did it even happen, sir? | ||
| If you do that in a Corvette, you sound like a douchebag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do that in a Tesla, it's like, what happened there? | ||
| How did he get over there? | ||
| The pleasure was all mine. | ||
| He doesn't have to slam. | ||
| What do you drive the most? | ||
| I drive my Tesla a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I also have a Dodge Ram that I drive a lot too because I'm in Texas. | ||
| You've got to. | ||
| I had to. | ||
| Be a sucker not to. | ||
| But it has a thousand horsepower. | ||
| Is that the truck or that's the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a truck. | |
| It's a TRX. Got it. | ||
| A Hennessy TRX. Great. | ||
| So I drive two stupid things. | ||
| I also die. | ||
| Alright, so back to depression. | ||
| So tell me, you've this history of just always having like this, no joy... | ||
| It felt like a low grade, like sort of a lead blanket. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| And I think it read on me, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like it's kind of a hmm, like a thud or a hum. | ||
| You always did seem like a little surprised if people were nice to you, if that makes any sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I had low expectations for people's behavior. | ||
| Well that was my, I know that's a weird thing to say, but that was my honest take of you from like when I first met you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I was always like, hey man, what's up? | ||
| And you're like, oh, hey, hi. | ||
| Well, I always say that about you. | ||
| Like, you were nice to me before there was any reason to be. | ||
| Other than just being a decent human being. | ||
| Like, from 1992, whatever, November 92, or whenever I met you the first time, till today. | ||
| Well, that's nice to hear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I try to be nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like something I work hard on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really important. | ||
| And it's hard for you because you're such a piece of shit. | ||
| I think anybody could be a piece of shit. | ||
| No, of course they could. | ||
| Given the wrong circumstances, but I've always tried to be nice. | ||
| No, and I'm living proof. | ||
| You were nice to me when I was 18, 19. Yeah, you were a door guy at Boston Comedy. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That probably was like 91 or 92, man. | ||
| Yeah, 92 was when I started. | ||
| So that was when I knew you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I lived there until 94. Yeah. | ||
| 94 was when I made the trek out to Hollywood. | ||
| I remember when I did Fear Factor, and then I did the Chappelle Show, and I knew that you were running it with Dave. | ||
| I'm like, that's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because I remember you from the Boston comedies. | ||
| I'm like, dude, how did you do this? | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Remember we filmed that thing in that freezing cold fucking warehouse? | ||
| And we had those burners. | ||
| You had to stand next to literally a fire. | ||
| You had like a propane burner and you're standing next to this fucking blowtorch to try to warm yourself up. | ||
| We couldn't figure it out. | ||
| And Dave never broke character. | ||
| Never broke character. | ||
| And my friend Eddie Bravo was with me. | ||
| And Eddie Bravo had just gotten back from Abu Dhabi, which is the World Jiu-Jitsu Championships, where he tapped out Hoyler Gracie. | ||
| And so Dave would walk by and go, Horse Gracie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You tapped out Horse Gracie? | |
| And Eddie would go, no, it's Hoyler! | ||
| Hoyler! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, Hoyt's crazy! | |
| And he was just, he wouldn't break character. | ||
| He was Tyrone Biggums. | ||
| Like, the entire day was hilarious. | ||
| He was hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, he was very... | ||
| This was before they broke his heart. | ||
| He was young and just having a great fucking time. | ||
| That sketch was in 04. That wasn't that long before. | ||
| Like, we were... | ||
| It was soon. | ||
| Well, you guys did it for two years, and it is, in my opinion, the funniest sketch comedy show that has ever been made. | ||
| I think pound for pound funny, nothing can fuck with it. | ||
| You have some of the best classic sketch comedies that I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Like, the fucking, the guy who is the black white supremacist who is blind... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| It's just one of these things where I'm like, man, that's a good fucking joke. | ||
| God, that bit was so good. | ||
| That bit was so good that when I saw it on TV, I had to put my hand on my face like this. | ||
| I remember writing jokes for it and being like, Wow, that's a very good show. | ||
| There's some bombs. | ||
| And then you're in it, too, and your fucking head explodes, which is hilarious. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, no, there was just a lot of, like, and that's just the first episode. | ||
| Like, there was just every week, there was some good shit. | ||
| There was so many, man. | ||
| I mean, for something that came along that was only for two years, it wasn't that long, you know, in terms of the amount of time that was on the air. | ||
| And then, but it... | ||
| Fuck, it was... | ||
| The highs were so high that if that show kept going, I really believe that... | ||
| I mean, I think Dave and you could have kept doing that for years. | ||
| That I don't know about. | ||
| I think you could have kept doing it. | ||
| I think it's hard. | ||
| I know it's hard. | ||
| But you guys had a special thing, man. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| You really did. | ||
| And Dave is especially good at that. | ||
| He's especially good at that. | ||
| Well, that's what it is. | ||
| Because I used to put... | ||
| Like, now I think... | ||
| I used to put Eddie as number one in sketches, and I'm like, I think Dave might have taken... | ||
| Like, I think Dave might have taken him. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| It's definitely close. | ||
| You know, the first one that I did with you guys was before you. | ||
| I did it with Bobcat Goldway. | ||
| Oh, no, no, I was there. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| It was on the street. | ||
| Yeah, before I did it with you. | ||
| It was a fucking great... | ||
| I saw... | ||
| We got you, Dee Snider... | ||
| From Twisted Sister. | ||
| And Stephen King, on the same day, just walking around the city, and Stephen King asked the fucking, in retrospect, the coolest question. | ||
| It was ask a black dude, and Stephen King said, do black people want to go to black dentists and black mortuaries? | ||
| And it's one of these things of like, wow, you have a fucking good brain, dude. | ||
| Because he didn't think about it. | ||
| He was just like, yeah, I got a question. | ||
| Then we bumped into you and I just had the feeling that this could work out. | ||
| We're getting good breaks. | ||
| Randomly. | ||
| Opportunistic. | ||
| Opportunities that were like Fortuitous. | ||
| Yeah, for me, I was just walking down the street, and I see Dave with a fake mustache on. | ||
| And he had a box. | ||
| He had like a box that he was holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I go, what are you doing, man? | |
| He goes, Joe, I'm giving out the best New York boobs. | ||
| Goddammit, that's so stupid. | ||
| You have great New York boobs. | ||
| Like, you can't even do that today. | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| There's not a chance. | ||
| I mean, he pins a New York boobs medal on that lady. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Her dad, and that's her dad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no way you could do that today. | ||
| He might get cancelled just because we're bringing this up. | ||
| Jamie, get it off the screen. | ||
| They might pull that from YouTube. | ||
| This could be a real issue now. | ||
| They'll put it on their list. | ||
| Isn't it amazing how much culture has changed? | ||
| Culture has changed in 20 years. | ||
| That was 20 years ago, essentially. | ||
| But even then, I was just stressed. | ||
| That, again, that felt good. | ||
| To have an accomplishment like that. | ||
| So once it started going, and you realize, holy shit, we got a really unbelievably good sketch. | ||
| It's just you start from a place of not a lot of worth, and then you do shit that's like, oh, that's unassailably worthwhile. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then did you get a good feeling? | ||
| I got a good feeling and then a bad feeling when it ended, but I had a good feeling from doing it. | ||
| I really loved doing it, and it felt connected. | ||
| It felt in the flow, so to speak. | ||
| Have you guys ever had a conversation about doing it again? | ||
| Or doing another one? | ||
| Yeah, and we both were like... | ||
| It just didn't... | ||
| It's like there's something about it that's like a young person's 29. Interesting. | ||
| We're 29. So it's like you've got more anger. | ||
| You've got more energy. | ||
| You've got more like fight. | ||
| And then you get... | ||
| Not even money. | ||
| It's just you just get more like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| More edgy with the subject matter, too. | ||
| More? | ||
| More edgy with the subject matter. | ||
| You take more chances. | ||
| Yeah, it's just you just don't know. | ||
| You're just reckless. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Dave one time said that we're like thrill killers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where, you know, he'd be like, I'm going to shoot. | ||
| I'd be like, chop their fucking head off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like, I'm going to chop their fucking head off. | ||
| You know, it's like, you just get like, you know what we should do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The R. Kelly one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's peeing on a girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like fucking reckless. | ||
| Like, should we be doing this? | ||
| This is very reckless. | ||
| You know who's doing that now? | ||
| It's Shane Gillis. | ||
| Gillian Keves. | ||
| I loved his hour, yeah. | ||
| But you know, have you seen the Gillian Keves sketches? | ||
| I've seen a couple of them. | ||
| Have you ever seen Trump speed dialing, speed dating? | ||
| I don't think I have. | ||
| Here, play it. | ||
| Just put that on. | ||
| Well, you need to watch this. | ||
| First of all, his Trump impression is off the fucking charts. | ||
| Yeah, it's very good. | ||
| And they do these sketches. | ||
| Like, they had one of them was a dad went to OnlyFans to pay the bills. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Shoving a vibrator up his ass. | ||
| Like, here, play this. | ||
| Welcome to speed dating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Each of you is going to meet for about three minutes. | |
| Then you're going to hear this buzzer. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And when that goes off, we're gonna move to the next table. | ||
| Ready to find some love? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tana. | |
| What are you doing here? | ||
| I was asked to speak at this hotel. | ||
| It turns out there's some type of pussy banquet going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I hold one second? | |
| Just give me a second. | ||
| Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit! | ||
| Ugly, fat, orange, fuck! | ||
| Social media. | ||
| They had to take it away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was too good. | |
| In fact, go ahead. | ||
| Put it back up. | ||
| Put it back up. | ||
| People say, I've got bad makeup. | ||
| Tana looks like someone painted her face like a clown. | ||
| That's what we're going to call her. | ||
| Tana it the clown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She looks like him. | |
| She looks like she should be in a sewer bothering children. | ||
| There's certain moves he does that are so goddamn good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are ugly. | |
| Disgusting. | ||
| I'm disgusting. | ||
| I saw you walk in. | ||
| I said, who's this? | ||
| Is this a pig? | ||
| I didn't know they were letting pigs in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're a dictator. | |
| Old Sage, what a loser. | ||
| What a loser she was. | ||
| Somebody needs to tell her that her pussy stinks. | ||
| When you walked in, I could practically smell you. | ||
| Your vagina stinks. | ||
| Smelt up the whole room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one here is gonna go on a date with you. | |
| There'll be no problem there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll get a date. | |
| There's gonna be so many dates. | ||
| Whoa, this guy has so many dates. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't even need a date. | |
| That's impressive. | ||
| There's Tinder. | ||
| You go beep-boop-pop and there's pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is pretty exciting. | |
| I've never been on a date with a white guy before. | ||
| Hit the buzzer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I'm just wondering what it would be like with something a little smaller. | |
| Let me stop you there, Elaine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know who sat in this chair before me, but it stinks. | |
| I told her! | ||
| Any interest? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're gay. | |
| Hey, blame the dairy industry. | ||
| I would never suck a guy's dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But if I did, it'd be one of the best sucks he's ever had. | |
| A few years ago, women would have the flat butts. | ||
| Not you. | ||
| You've got a very nice one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| You know, I pulled very well with the blacks. | ||
| How am I pulling with you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw you come in. | |
| I said, that's the one. | ||
| The belle of the ball. | ||
| You're the prettiest one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna be completely honest with you here. | |
| I'm not that interested in it. | ||
| You're the ugliest. | ||
| Do me a favor. | ||
| Could you take your gigantic perfect tits and leave? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't recall saying I would get a date here, but if I did say that, maybe I will. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Hello Oh Oh my god. | ||
| Do you like my shirt? | ||
| I got it dyed a special at the tackle shop. | ||
| There's a two for one at the tackle. | ||
| At the tackle shop. | ||
| The bait and tackle. | ||
| I can get you one. | ||
| It's two for one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How are you, Mr. President? | |
| Well... | ||
| I'm great. | ||
| Especially since you... | ||
| Since you exposed all the Jews that were putting 5G in my brain that wanted the meth. | ||
| That girl's great. | ||
| How are you at oral sex? | ||
| Philly is a funny Philly accent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty good, to be honest. | |
| My teeth come out. | ||
| Siobhan, how would you like to go on a date with Donald Trump? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Finally! | ||
| Oh my god, I won! | ||
| Did I win? | ||
| I got Ed. | ||
| Can you show clips on here? | ||
| I just did. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I'm only promoting them. | ||
| No, I was wondering. | ||
| I feel like last time I was here, we couldn't show certain shit. | ||
| Well, if it was on YouTube, I would say that wouldn't be smart, because they'd probably have the copyright to that, and rightly, they would pull it down, but we're just promoting them. | ||
| And it would be under the Spotify... | ||
| Oh, afterwards we'll talk. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| We might have to hack that out. | ||
| Either way, if we edit it out, it's awesome. | ||
| Gillian Keeves, great sketches. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| But that's the same thing, though. | ||
| Young guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Reckless. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like you kind of got to be like... | ||
| And not know how hard it is, kind of like childbirth, where it's like, now we know how long shit takes. | ||
| It's also the internet didn't have the same level of criticism back then. | ||
| It just wasn't much. | ||
| Yeah, it wouldn't get dissected for... | ||
| Social media. | ||
| Yeah, for righteousness or doctrine. | ||
| Twitter came around in 2007-ish, right? | ||
| Somewhere around then? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So yeah, would it just be less fun? | ||
| So, depression. | ||
| Anyway, back to depression. | ||
| And I was slowly building and then doing stand-up Netflix special. | ||
| It felt good. | ||
| And then around that time I tried ketamine and just didn't like it. | ||
| It just didn't work on me. | ||
| I remember we were in the hallway of the store, right by the main room, and you're like, I thought I was going to go to a clinical setting, and again, maybe I'll feel it. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, I am fucking tripping balls. | |
| That's what you said. | ||
| Yeah, just in a doctor's office. | ||
| Like, gone. | ||
| Like, it was on, like, the 11th floor in Westwood. | ||
| It wasn't, like, a spa. | ||
| It was like, here's your validation. | ||
| It was like a hospital, kind of. | ||
| So, when they give it to you, do they give you a description of what the effect is going to be like? | ||
| They kind of don't. | ||
| They just say, like, this is a good depression. | ||
| Now, having said that, it's worked for people. | ||
| It's worked for a lot of people I know. | ||
| I've heard good things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I think I'm actually in the minority in that I didn't like ketamine. | ||
| Because I was early talking about it on here, everyone thought I liked it, and I just didn't like it. | ||
| But what was the experience like? | ||
| So they don't tell you what it's going to do. | ||
| No. | ||
| They say it works on some people, but they don't say you're going to have a complete disassociation from this dimension. | ||
| Yeah, they say it's like slightly hallucinogenic, maybe. | ||
| I don't even know if they told me that much. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I don't want to go on the record. | ||
| I may just not remember. | ||
| Now, are you restrained? | ||
| No, I was in a hospital bed. | ||
| So you're just laying in a bed, regular bed. | ||
| Like three quarters, sitting up, craftmatic. | ||
| Are there rails on the side? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| I couldn't move. | ||
| Once I took it, my hallucination was, generally speaking, I got into a small world kind of cart, and I went into a kind of neon... | ||
| Like Winnie the Pooh ride. | ||
| Kind of, yeah. | ||
| And there were machine elves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I kept seeing maps of California. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like Grand Theft Auto style pull out maps. | ||
| And nothing much happened. | ||
| I've had people have stuff with parents or friends or whatever, like traumatic experience. | ||
| Nothing like that happened for me. | ||
| When you say machine elves, what do you mean? | ||
| Like the stuff you've talked about, like this sort of terror at 30,000 feet, Twilight Zone, goofy little... | ||
| But it was like a fractal thing? | ||
| The thing about the DMT ones, it's all fractal. | ||
| Like you see them, you see like infinite numbers. | ||
| Mine was closer to Tron, I would say. | ||
| But like thinner neon and more like a grid. | ||
| Like graphing paper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But like all sort of vague dimensional neon. | ||
| The machine elves thing was Terence McKenna's thing. | ||
| That's what he always says. | ||
| It's a good description. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Some people don't. | ||
| I just assumed that it was... | ||
| I've only gotten them on ketamine. | ||
| I never thought of them as machines. | ||
| They seem like they don't... | ||
| Oh, I assume machine meant they were in the machine. | ||
| They were just elves. | ||
| They were just like little goblin little motherfuckers. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, that actually makes more sense. | ||
| That was like fine. | ||
| Then I did... | ||
| Okay, that makes way more sense. | ||
| Transcranial magnetic stimulation. | ||
| That's one where they're sort of tapping. | ||
| It's like they put sort of a thing on you and it feels like it's electromagnetic. | ||
| It's like a CAT scan. | ||
| It's what it kind of feels like. | ||
| And it's just weird. | ||
| Do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions about the ketamine? | ||
| How long does it last? | ||
| 40 minutes? | ||
| 40 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so is it almost instantaneous because it's IV? They're giving it to you IV? Yeah. | ||
| Eight minutes. | ||
| Probably tops. | ||
| So you lay there and within eight minutes you're gone. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| And you're gone for 45 minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I was kind of like at a certain point you could kind of hear people. | ||
| They're all being quiet but you're aware that they're there. | ||
| Is there any hangover or anything after it's over? | ||
| That's mostly what I had. | ||
| My eyes were sort of burning, irritated for like a month or two. | ||
| Yeah, it sucked. | ||
| And I kind of felt hungover. | ||
| Did you ask them about that? | ||
| Yeah, and the guy said, I've never had someone have that. | ||
| And so you did feel hungover. | ||
| So the juice wasn't worth the squeeze for you? | ||
| At all, for that. | ||
| I did ecstasy once, and I loved it. | ||
| But the next day, I felt so bad. | ||
| I felt like dog shit. | ||
| And I was like, ooh, I'm not doing that again. | ||
| I couldn't read. | ||
| I was sitting in a cafe, and I was trying to read a magazine, and I couldn't read. | ||
| I couldn't focus. | ||
| Do you think you could have done anything to mitigate it the day before? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If I knew about 5-HTP, which is serotonin precursor, there's a product that Onnit actually has called Numu that boosts up your serotonin. | ||
| But you were on 5-HTP. You're actually probably one of the places where I heard about it the first time. | ||
| I heard about it because Benji... | ||
| Not Benji... | ||
| One of the store guys told me I'd done ecstasy and he was like, take some of this after. | ||
| And then I read about it and it's antidepressant. | ||
| It does help your body have the building blocks. | ||
| Yeah, and then it's also like tryptophan converts to 5-HTP and 5-HTP converts to serotonin. | ||
| I think that's how it works. | ||
| It has both of them in. | ||
| Like New Mood has both of those things in it. | ||
| So it gives you like a more synergistic effect. | ||
| But a lot of people take those kind of things to come down after ecstasy. | ||
| Like you could buy it. | ||
| You could buy 5-HTP on Amazon and all those places. | ||
| Yeah, you can get it at the antivitamin store now at this point. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting, those things. | ||
| I'm super fascinated by nootropics now. | ||
| Even Mike Tyson has a nootropic now. | ||
| Mike Tyson sent me a case of his Jones soda. | ||
| He has Jones soda, and it's a nootropic soda. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| None of them really have worked. | ||
| I've tried St. John's Wort. | ||
| I've tried a bunch of them. | ||
| Have you tried Alpha Brain? | ||
| Yours? | ||
| Yeah, I think I got a little nauseous. | ||
| Like, sometimes 5-HTP would make me nauseous. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It doesn't have 5-HTP in it. | ||
| Does Jones supplement? | ||
| Oh, I'll take some Alphabrain. | ||
| That's your thing, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'll take some. | ||
| Does it say what the ingredients are? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tiger's blood? | |
| Tiger's blood? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I think that's just the flavors. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| So it's got niacin, vitamin B, B12, pantothenic acid, and then L-theanine. | ||
| This is the stuff, the Wissana proprietary blend. | ||
| So they don't tell you what the proportions are. | ||
| They just tell you what the milligrams are. | ||
| So this proprietary blend, 515 milligrams, it's L-theanine and acetyltyrosine, lion's mane extract, fruiting bodies, and mycelium and caffeine. | ||
| So it has some lion's mane mushrooms, which is supposed to be good for neurogenesis, and then it has the theanine, which is great for memory. | ||
| And I don't know, I've heard of tyrosine before too, and acetyltyrosine. | ||
| What does that do? | ||
| I know what that does. | ||
| I just can't remember. | ||
| It's a preservative or something, isn't it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| But either way, it's a soda that can boost your memory, which is great. | ||
| Ideally, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Neurogums. | |
| Caffeine helps. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| Caffeine does most of the heavy lifting on those things. | ||
| Caffeine does, for sure. | ||
| None of them... | ||
| No one has these things without caffeine, because caffeine's the one you feel. | ||
| Mmm, I bet it kicks in and synergistically works with it too because I know alpha brain works really well with Caffeine and that gum that neuro gum if you tried that shit. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Okay That stuff has some caffeine in it, too. | ||
| I think it has 40 milligrams per tablet mental performance alertness Yeah, okay. | ||
| So L-tyrosine is given as a supplement to increase L-tyrosine levels in people with PKU. I don't know what that is. | ||
| L-tyrosine has been used in alternative medicine as a possible effective aid in improving mental performance, alertness. | ||
| A lot of these categories, the more you learn, the less you're like, ah, that might not be effective because it's like it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier or shit like that where you just go, I don't fucking know. | ||
| It might just be a superstition. | ||
| Or how maybe some of it gets through. | ||
| I know that's some of the criticism of other things like ginkgo biloba. | ||
| People don't think that that works. | ||
| But the thing about certain nootropics is they have done studies. | ||
| Like Boston Center for Memory did some studies that we actually funded for AlphaBrain. | ||
| And they showed improvement in... | ||
| Performance in terms of your ability to form sentences, people were quicker to form sentences, they had a better verbal memory, and they also had better reaction time. | ||
| And there was also a thing about the alpha state, like alpha brain states. | ||
| I guess, I don't know how they measure that though. | ||
| Is that measured through activity? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's probably some reading or something. | ||
| So increasing peak alpha flow state, whatever the fuck, that sounds like horseshit. | ||
| I know it's not, but I mean, I hear that term. | ||
| If someone with wooden beads tells me about peak alpha flow state, but apparently it's measurable. | ||
| And so they did find improvements, and I feel an improvement in terms of memory when I take these things. | ||
| It really does work. | ||
| Because like, podcasts are... | ||
| 80% of it is like recalling things. | ||
| Associations and recalls. | ||
| A lot of memories, you know? | ||
| So you have to have a good memory. | ||
| Well, that's what always impresses me about you is the amount of weed you smoke and it doesn't... | ||
| You have a very good recall. | ||
| Yeah, the weed fucks with it sometimes, though. | ||
| Like, weirdly. | ||
| Like, things I do know, but I forget someone's name. | ||
| But I think that's a hard drive space issue. | ||
| I really do believe that. | ||
| Well, it's hard to know the older you get where you go, is my brain worse or did it make a decision about relevance? | ||
| Did it just go, I don't care about this, so I'm just going to get rid of it? | ||
| I don't think that's the case because with most things that I'm excited about, my recall is excellent. | ||
| I think the real issue is I don't have enough hard drive space. | ||
| Because I think at a certain point in time, you've taken in so much information that you can't keep it in recent files. | ||
| So even though I've read a book or not... | ||
| It's like the brain can only... | ||
| You should only know 50 people or something. | ||
| Dunbar's number. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I wonder what the amount of, like, facts... | ||
| Yeah, we actually looked up Dunbar's number. | ||
| It's actually more complicated than we thought. | ||
| It's not as simple as, like, you can only know 250 people. | ||
| It's like there's levels of- It's associations, right? | ||
| Yeah, which makes more sense to me. | ||
| Because I definitely know more than 250 people or 150 people. | ||
| I know a lot of fucking people. | ||
| But I can remember them when I'm around them sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, if you just remember, like, you're familiar and you don't even know what. | ||
| And then sometimes, like, I'll have a conversation with someone and it's like, you go back in time. | ||
| Like, hey, what's up? | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| What the fuck's going on? | ||
| Like, oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever. | ||
| And then, bam. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But that's just a normal function of being a person. | ||
| You're only supposed to have so much fucking information in your head. | ||
| That's why, like, a lot of guys who are, like, super geniuses are often, like, weird socially, like, clueless. | ||
| I would argue almost all of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been doing a joke where it's like God's making a video game character, and it's like you put a bunch of... | ||
| It's like Bill Cosby, he was like, let's put it all in comedy. | ||
| What about morality? | ||
| He's like, he'll figure it out. | ||
| And I'm like, wait, what the fuck? | ||
| That's a great joke! | ||
| That's a great line! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, I'll figure. | |
| It'll be fine. | ||
| Like all these things. | ||
| It's anything. | ||
| If a girl has a big tit, she has small butt. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| What? | ||
| Well, not anymore, but like natural balances of like, there's natural balance. | ||
| So if you're incredibly gifted in one area, you're going to be deficient in another area. | ||
| A lot of times it's hidden, but if it's social, you can't hide it. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of times it's just a function of the amount of energy that it takes to get, like, really good at something or really into something. | ||
| Like, if you're someone who's just only fixated on your looks, the amount of time that must be involved in just looking good, Jesus Christ, how do you have time for other shit? | ||
| Or a lot of these people are just a little autistic. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And sometimes those people get really fucking good at things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really good at things. | ||
| I mean, they can focus. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You get a really intelligent autistic kid interested in something, whether it's coding or jujitsu. | ||
| Dinosaur, whatever. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Whatever is missing in terms of a connection with people socially, sometimes, not always, because sometimes they're really troubled. | ||
| But sometimes it allows them to get so unbelievably good at this thing that they do, like whatever it is. | ||
| It's almost like there's a guy named Shane Van Boning, and he's one of the best pool players in the world. | ||
| In fact, he just won the world championships. | ||
| I mean, he's been one of the best for decades. | ||
| He's got hearing aids. | ||
| When he plays, he shuts them off. | ||
| Shuts them off, and he doesn't hear shit. | ||
| He just concentrates on the balls moving around the table, and that's all he does is play pool. | ||
| This motherfucker plays pool eight hours a day, constantly. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| When you watch him play, he just shuts those hearing aids off and just gets into it. | ||
| And he has another layer of detachment from the world while he's playing the game that other people don't have. | ||
| Other people have to ignore the sounds they hear. | ||
| They have to ignore their own footsteps. | ||
| He doesn't hear shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been doing a joke about that, too, where it's like every great athlete is crazy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Where they talk about, like, we need our athletes to have good mental health. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut your mouth. | |
| Did you watch the Michael Jordan documentary? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then I have a bunch of bits about that. | ||
| It's like, these people are fucking nuts. | ||
| Michael Phelps, you know he won 23 gold medals? | ||
| You know what the second most of all time is? | ||
| Nine. | ||
| So like, yeah, he's gonna get a DUI every once in a while. | ||
| Like, that's just the fucking, that's just the price we pay. | ||
| Who was the person who ratted him out for smoking out a bomb? | ||
| I mean, what a punk ass shit. | ||
| That was early internet. | ||
| Early internet. | ||
| It's like, oh, four. | ||
| First rat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of the first rats. | ||
| Because he got in real trouble for that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that hilarious? | ||
| And now it's like, what? | ||
| Like, if you want to talk about a guy who's Unquestionably healthy. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Look at his choice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| He chooses to smoke out of a bong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Maybe he's onto something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I mean, he's a fucking health expert. | ||
| He's a peak performance expert. | ||
| Who the fuck knows- Yeah, like, are you more worried about his health than he is? | ||
| I'm guessing he's a little more invested in his lungs than you are. | ||
| Anyhow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe he's right about the benefits of it, you fucking- Well, that was just a snitch situation. | |
| Such a snitch. | ||
| I think he was just at a party and wanted to smoke a joint. | ||
| You think that guy uses that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm the guy who got Michael Phelps in trouble. | |
| I also videotape a lot of concerts if you want to watch them on my phone. | ||
| I got five different fireworks on my phone. | ||
| So I don't know if you guys got time later. | ||
| So ketamine, it just was like not forming. | ||
| So it just tripped you out, but it didn't make your depression any better. | ||
| Didn't have any, yeah. | ||
| Didn't abate the depression at all. | ||
| And the magnetic thing did? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Transcranial magnetic stimulation. | ||
| Had to do it 45 times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And then went back. | ||
| Where do you go to do it? | ||
| Another office in West L.A. Jesus. | ||
| Third floor, second floor, good West L.A. How long before you felt it? | ||
| I felt it about three sessions in. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So the first one you're like, yeah, maybe. | ||
| Second one, and then third one, what do you think? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's similar, like, I don't want to dance, but I'm just like lighter. | ||
| Lighter. | ||
| Do you do any cardio? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Run. | ||
| Does that make you feel better? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've never gotten runner's high. | ||
| I'm like, how could I get runner's high? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I got a Peloton. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I exhausted it. | ||
| I think I exhausted it. | ||
| You exhausted the possibility? | ||
| I felt like I did. | ||
| In terms of treatments, I did a ton of different medications, and I did a ton of different alternative things. | ||
| And TMS worked. | ||
| And then I went in, right before COVID, I was in China, I was doing a show, and I ended up getting a supercharged version of TMS. They could do 40 sessions in a week, basically. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Because there's less regulation. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Did they cook your brain? | ||
| I'll show you a video. | ||
| It's pretty fucking... | ||
| It's pretty graphic. | ||
| It didn't hurt, but it looks like it hurts. | ||
| It hurt a little. | ||
| Can you send it to Jamie so Jamie can post it up here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fuck, dude? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you feel it. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You definitely feel the... | ||
| The magnet fucking with your brain? | ||
| Jamie, are you on... | ||
| So is it... | ||
| Are you better now? | ||
| Well, I'm going to get to that. | ||
| Ooh, the build-up is killing me. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Airdrop. | ||
| Let's do Jamie's MacBook Pro. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Incoming, Jamie. | ||
| What a great world we live in. | ||
| Pretty cool. | ||
| Send a video through the sky. | ||
| Pretty cool. | ||
| That is pretty fucking good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. - Do a girl. - You know what I mean? | |
| Yeah, it's the funniest shit in the world. | ||
| It's the dumbest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't believe what it's doing to my face. | |
| Whoa, dude. | ||
| Like, that wasn't happening in L.A. Like, that one's more severe. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Is it better? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| I think it was just better. | ||
| It's like a stronger... | ||
| It seemed like what I got in LA Times, three or four. | ||
| Could you get a home unit? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it's pretty well... | ||
| I mean, it's also covered by insurance, which is pretty cool. | ||
| But you have to go somewhere, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wouldn't it be better if you just, like, watch an Ozark with a helmet on? | ||
| Well, that's what you end up doing anyway. | ||
| Rewind it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So then COVID starts. | ||
| Somebody sends me an article from the New York Times about ayahuasca. | ||
| And I'm like, and he's like, we got to do this. | ||
| I'm like, all right. | ||
| I get a number, get a private. | ||
| I had to go off antidepressants. | ||
| This is October 2020. So I go, I wean myself off of, I'm taking Zoloft all the time. | ||
| And I'm like, why am I taking Zoloft? | ||
| I'm like, I don't need it, Frank. | ||
| Because the problem was, without Zoloft, I wasn't depressed, but I was getting panic attacks on stage. | ||
| Which is like, this, I can't have this. | ||
| So I take Zoloft, and I wouldn't get panic attacks. | ||
| Only on stage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And one time I got one in a meeting. | ||
| It was fucking weird. | ||
| I'm like, I know this person. | ||
| It was odd. | ||
| I would just get them for seemingly no reason. | ||
| And so, going for the antidepressants, do ayahuasca with one shaman-type guy. | ||
| At my buddy's house, and it's like, very pleasant. | ||
| It was like, we did one cup, it was me, Bianca from the store, my friend Bijan, Sarah Mello, like, and it was like nice, right? | ||
| It kind of felt like, I like cried about groups of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Groups of people. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Just gatherings of people made me cry. | ||
| I was crying so hard where your nostrils are closed. | ||
| And is it unusual that you experience the kind of sadness that makes you cry? | ||
| It wasn't even sadness. | ||
| It was kind of tears of reverie. | ||
| Not joy and not tenderness. | ||
| We'll say tenderness from a place of love more than a place of sadness. | ||
| You feel connected to that? | ||
| Yeah, I feel connected to the I was also seeing wide shots of forests. | ||
| Just like, okay, cool. | ||
| And then it lasts about three and a half hours, then we all hang out and talk, whatever. | ||
| And then I find a better... | ||
| That guy was kind of a lightweight. | ||
| And then I find a better circle to do it in via someone that had been on a commercial. | ||
| She was like, come to the circle. | ||
| So I, first night at the Circle, it's like by Six Flags in LA, it's not like, it's not Peru. | ||
| And it's, I couldn't get the amount right. | ||
| And I was just kind of nauseous and didn't really feel much. | ||
| And I did ayahuasca, did two or three cups of ayahuasca, I tried this thing called hape, which is, they blow ash, Sacred tobacco ash up your nostrils, and it's like you have fuckin' rocks in your head. | ||
| I've never felt a thing like this. | ||
| And apparently it multiplies the ayahuasca for eight to ten minutes. | ||
| It's like a fuckin' mushroom in Super Mario Bros. | ||
| where you're stimulated. | ||
| And people, you can do a thing where you do an intention, and a lot of times you'll vomit up, you'll purge up a thing, like a notion. | ||
| I have a... | ||
| Yeah, I got a lot of stories. | ||
| So the ash goes up your nose. | ||
| The ash, if you look, it's spelled R-A-P-E with an umlaut over the E. So it's spelled rape, but it's with an umlaut over the E. And people... | ||
| It's in a thing called a tepe. | ||
| And... | ||
| So that's just smoke, but they were using ash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's smoke, but there's one. | |
| The first one, no, that's smoke. | ||
| If you do get rid of ayahuasca and smoke, just do put an umlaut over the E. Yeah, the problem is rape crisis. | ||
| It just goes to the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you put a thing over the E... How do you do that on a regular keyboard? | |
| Can you just hold the E? You hit option and then hit E and they all come up. | ||
| Can you Google Rape? | ||
| Yeah, there we go. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Okay, there he goes. | ||
| Oh wow, that's wild. | ||
| That looks painful. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Look at the face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tried that. | ||
| And so the ash goes up your nose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like... | ||
| I was just like, yo, this shit... | ||
| People purge immediately. | ||
| But a lot of times you can purge up a notion. | ||
| You can purge up an intention. | ||
| You can purge up... | ||
| I mean, a buddy of mine purged up his mother's hatred of him. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Like a thing. | ||
| I'm basically like a goofball. | ||
| I'm like a new age goofball is what I'm trying to tell you. | ||
| So that's the first night. | ||
| It's my second career night, first night at the New Circle. | ||
| Second night, I get the amount correct, and I was an atheist, and I opened my eyes at one point in the circle, and I was like, oh, I'm in the presence of God right now. | ||
| I can't explain it. | ||
| It's a feeling. | ||
| I am in the presence of what I can only describe as God. | ||
| And I was like, this is the first spiritual experience I've ever had in my entire life. | ||
| Twelve years of Catholic school, altar boy, church, mass, fucking nothing. | ||
| And then this was like, oh, this is what church is supposed to be. | ||
| Like, this connection to the center beam or the center force. | ||
| And, like, a real profound, like, okay, I'm no longer an atheist. | ||
| I now believe in a god or creation force. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And obviously the question would be, someone would ask you if they were trying to diminish this, they would say, but you are on drugs. | ||
| You understand that you're on drugs and this is not a real experience and this is all highlighted by the hallucinations happening in the neurotransmitters and the way it's affecting your brain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here's the thing, I can't counter that. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's not one of these things where it's true for me. | ||
| Right, but here's the question. | ||
| Here's what I always say. | ||
| I had this very same conversation with Dennis McKenna, and we both agreed on this, that who cares if it's real? | ||
| It's the same experience. | ||
| Like, if you took a pill, and that pill, or you took ayahuasca, and that ayahuasca makes you reach that state, or if you reach that state from saying an incantation, and then you walk through... | ||
| Holotropic breathing. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do we know that that's not real? | ||
| Like, imagine if God was real, and you could get in front of God, but the only way to do it is to eat mushrooms. | ||
| He'd be like, wait, what? | ||
| I would argue that's true. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| I mean, do you know what I mean? | ||
| It sounds so crazy. | ||
| In my experience, it's the only way. | ||
| Now, the good thing is, it's in me now. | ||
| Because then I was no longer an ayahuasca, and I was like, that was as real a thing as has ever happened to me. | ||
| It's in you meaning it's changed you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the depression's gone? | ||
| Well, I'll get to that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| My belief in God. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Belief in a central creation force, right? | ||
| And by the way, I know how this sounds. | ||
| It's very mockable. | ||
| It's very reducible. | ||
| This podcast is filled with mockable reducible things. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure, sure. | ||
| Laughing all the way to the bank. | ||
| And getting mocked all the way to the bank. | ||
| So the fourth time I do it, that circle that I was doing it in, they weren't like COVID. They were like loose with COVID. And it's like 20 people in a room. | ||
| And this is in like before the vaccine. | ||
| It's just like early. | ||
| So I'm like, ah, a guy got COVID right after the ceremony. | ||
| I'm like, could you test? | ||
| And they're like, we don't really just whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I went back to the first guy, the original guy, and did a private with Ian Edwards and my friend Catherine and worked for Ian. | ||
| He had a great time. | ||
| Not great time, but like a profound spiritual time. | ||
| My friend Catherine was sort of like very uneasy. | ||
| And it wasn't working for me. | ||
| And I kept saying, yeah, it just wasn't working. | ||
| I was like, maybe I'll take more? | ||
| Because it felt like I had to work out the amount at the other place. | ||
| So this place, I was like, maybe I'll take more? | ||
| And I probably ended up drinking like an ounce. | ||
| And I've come to drink around a quarter of an ounce. | ||
| So this was like an ounce. | ||
| And it wasn't working, wasn't working, wasn't working. | ||
| Hit me like... | ||
| A fucking freight train where I immediately purged and I went into... | ||
| I would have a thought like, what? | ||
| And in my brain it sounded like I'd go, what? | ||
| And I was like, oh, I'm in Pink Floyd land. | ||
| I'm gone. | ||
| I'm going to be a drug casualty. | ||
| Then I was in outer space alone and the universe was dying. | ||
| You're alone. | ||
| We're killing Saturn. | ||
| Children. | ||
| The Milky Way. | ||
| Like, that was the message I was getting. | ||
| Like, it's all dying and you're alone. | ||
| And I breathed. | ||
| I mean, it's the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced until I'll get to the thing that topped it. | ||
| I was breathing just in case. | ||
| I was literally like breathing. | ||
| I was breathing like this. | ||
| And I was, for like, he said about two and a half hours. | ||
| I have no recollection of any of it other than I'm in outer space. | ||
| Like, it's... | ||
| I was... | ||
| When I came to, I was... | ||
| I slept with the lights on for a few days. | ||
| It was so terrifying to my absolute core. | ||
| But I realized about three or four days after that From not being on antidepressants, I'd say the floorboards of my mood were a little mushy, like I could get lower than I could without antidepressants. | ||
| I'm sorry, with antidepressants, it would be more secure. | ||
| Not on antidepressants, it was a little loose and gushy. | ||
| And I realized about four days after that terrifying outer space experience that it was completely secure. | ||
| And it was like polished granite. | ||
| Like it fixed your brain. | ||
| And I literally was like, I'm never going to need antidepressants again. | ||
| Positive. | ||
| And you haven't had them since? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was December 2020. That's incredible. | ||
| Year and a half. | ||
| And here we are. | ||
| It's the end of May. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is a year and a half later. | ||
| In 2022. That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a little panic on stage, but I figured that out. | ||
| So that was... | ||
| So now... | ||
| So I've done Aya four times at this point. | ||
| Had that experience. | ||
| And I was like, I really like Aya in that... | ||
| It's a connection to spirituality, you know what I mean? | ||
| I don't have any besides that. | ||
| And so I went to the other place, the Good Circle, and I had a few rough ceremonies. | ||
| One of them in the room, I heard a tiger. | ||
| Like, it's in the room. | ||
| There is a tiger in the room. | ||
| Acoustically, it was like there was a tiger in the room. | ||
| And then I hallucinated a tiger, came around an altar, and I went like, like, real fucking fear. | ||
| And I had a couple tough journeys like that, where it was another one that was funnier, is I thought, I mean, dude, in this circle, I've seen people get possessed. | ||
| They had to tie a guy up. | ||
| Like, it's impossible, but I've seen it. | ||
| It's one of these things where I'm like, this shit's wild. | ||
| That one where the guy was possessed, they had to pour salt in his mouth, like real wild shit. | ||
| I'm like, oh, this is the rapture. | ||
| This is the rapture. | ||
| We're in the rapture. | ||
| This is the end. | ||
| So I had that rapture thing again. | ||
| And they go, let's go around the room, just check in with everybody, Neil. | ||
| And I go, not good. | ||
| Like two, couple words to describe your feeling. | ||
| I go, not good. | ||
| And then they go to the next guy and he goes, I'm balancing. | ||
| And I'm like, balancing? | ||
| Dog, this is it. | ||
| Like, it's over. | ||
| And then when I heard balancing, and then as they went on, I was like, oh, this is not the rapture. | ||
| I was like, Neil, this is your problem and your problem alone. | ||
| Do you think that your state of mind in going into the ceremony has an effect on it? | ||
| Or is it just your consciousness interacting with these chemicals? | ||
| Yeah, you know what's funny? | ||
| Because I've thought about that. | ||
| Like, am I... Is it like a fevered imagination? | ||
| And all I would say is I'm not aware, I don't think about the rapture much, if at all. | ||
| Right, but some people take the same amount as you and they have these magical, like, madre experiences. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Dancing with the mother. | ||
| Well, I'll get to that. | ||
| So... | ||
| How good is that coffee? | ||
| It's actually very good. | ||
| It's very tasty. | ||
| Good for you, Black Rifle. | ||
| So five, six, seven, eight are rough. | ||
| And then nine, in the circle where I do it, he opens the room to spirits. | ||
| Again, I'm glad everyone knew me before this. | ||
| Because I'm like, what? | ||
| Okay, so... | ||
| He opens the room to spirits. | ||
| I start shaking like this. | ||
| For an hour. | ||
| Two hours. | ||
| Three hours. | ||
| Shaking like this. | ||
| And the funny thing is I'll get an itch on my nose and I'll be like... | ||
| And then it just resumes. | ||
| So, I'm not doing it. | ||
| And it's just whatever. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| And I thought it was traumatic release. | ||
| There's a thing called traumatic release exercises where your body will shake out trauma. | ||
| It's like this guy, Peter Levine, wrote a book called The Body Keeps the Score, which is like the body stores trauma. | ||
| And then if you do traumatic release, it'll like shake it out. | ||
| I had it in a therapy session for EMDR. I would shake... | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| And then Buddy, which I was shaking for four hours. | ||
| Okay, so here's where it gets bananas. | ||
| Woman walks past me, just like doing a little sexy little dance because the music's excellent and great. | ||
| And I'm like, I literally have the thought, like one of these days I'm going to dance like Lucia. | ||
| And I'm shaking. | ||
| I go, one of these days I'm going to dance like Lucia. | ||
| My body starts dancing, Joe, and I'm not doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I swear to you. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| It's some angels in the outfield shit. | ||
| Like, it's fucking nuts. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| And it happened that ceremony, and then it started happening pretty regularly. | ||
| It's not big. | ||
| It's like arm motions, arm positions that I'm not controlling, that my body just goes into. | ||
| They call it mediumship in the circle. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Like, I'm... | ||
| And here's the crazy part. | ||
| I don't feel crazy. | ||
| Mediumship meaning that a spirit takes over your body. | ||
| Ostensibly, yes. | ||
| Here's the thing, man. | ||
| The only reason why it seems crazy is because more people don't do psychedelics. | ||
| When you tell these stories to someone who does psychedelics, they go, mm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been near that. | ||
| I'm not weirded out by it. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| I'm not confused. | ||
| But if I didn't know that that's possible. | ||
| Also, if you didn't know me and know how cynical I am. | ||
| Yes, when you were straight-laced. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a weird one, right? | ||
| It's so easy to dismiss because it sounds so preposterous. | ||
| The problem is enough people are going to dismiss it just because of that, which is really unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah, and also understandable. | ||
| It is understandable. | ||
| I literally like where people are like, do you believe in... | ||
| I'm like, I believe in anything now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you've had a real breakthrough psychedelic experience, it's so beyond anything that you could use your words to describe, that the only way to really get it into your head is to have one. | ||
| And it's not for everybody. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| It's not for everybody. | ||
| It's one of those things where I thought this is for everybody, and then it's like, it's such a big, it's a big swing. | ||
| I used to think the same way. | ||
| I used to think everybody should do it. | ||
| And now I'm like, eh. | ||
| I had a really funny thing happen with my mom where one of the ceremonies had the thought, like, I have my mom's software and my dad's hardware. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And I talked to my mom a few days later. | ||
| I was like, hey, mom, I did this thing called ayahuasca, and I got to say, it made me love you more. | ||
| And she texted me a few days later, could the whole family do it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER Just like a hack for a fucking little kid. | |
| If you get caught with weed, just tell them it made you love them more. | ||
| Do you need multiple sessions to dial it in, though? | ||
| No, well, what's crazy... | ||
| Oh, yeah, I don't think... | ||
| I wouldn't expect the best if a family did it. | ||
| I've heard stories of families doing it, and some people... | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| It's a... | ||
| I hate to say it's a different dimension, but it's a different fucking dimension. | ||
| It's a different dimension. | ||
| It's a different dimension. | ||
| It doesn't sound like that should be a real thing that's accessible to the average person. | ||
| But if you do the right stuff and you're in the right setting... | ||
| One of the things that was wildest to me was doing it with the Icaros. | ||
| Like doing DMT with the Icaros and you watch them dance to the music. | ||
| And you're like, is this... | ||
| Where did you do DM? You did it with the tribal people? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Icaros is a type of music. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so we had recordings of this music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| No, they play recordings in my circle. | ||
| One of the songs they play during Hoppe is the best song I've ever heard. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like, that's the best song I've ever heard with my ears on earth. | ||
| While you're on that stuff. | ||
| Like, it syncs up with the music. | ||
| But I can sing it now. | ||
| I mean, I'm not going to because it's, like, too sacred to me. | ||
| Maybe you should. | ||
| But it's, like, they make noises you've never heard where I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Um... | ||
| The Icaros seem to be like synced up for DMT. Or either that or DMT syncs up to it. | ||
| But something happens. | ||
| I think it's inspiring. | ||
| I mean, do you ever hear the story of how they came to make ayahuasca? | ||
| Well, they don't really know. | ||
| Well, the legend is that the plants spoke to them. | ||
| The mushrooms. | ||
| I thought the legend was like that the mushrooms had spoke to them. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there's five different versions of it, but yeah, like for them to put the certain chacruna plant and the cappy plant and boil them for the right amount of time. | ||
| Do you know the history of that area? | ||
| This is where it gets really interesting. | ||
| The history of that area probably wasn't all just rural tribes. | ||
| Like, what they think now was that there was a vast civilization in the Amazon. | ||
| And in fact, the Amazon itself was probably at least partially the result of human agriculture gone amok. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, there's all these trees. | ||
| We pulled this up the other day. | ||
| There's these trees, I think it's the ice cream bean tree and a couple other trees, that just overwhelm the canopy. | ||
| They're just these crazy plants that were planted there. | ||
| They even developed their certain type of soil. | ||
| They think what happened, and this is all based on that lost city of Z. It's also the same sort of subject. | ||
| They think that the original explorers who went there and had these incredible encounters with people, they saw these magnificent cities and they're filled with gold and everything was like incredibly advanced. | ||
| All that shit was gone within a hundred years because everybody was dead from smallpox. | ||
| So those Europeans introduced diseases just like they did to the Native Americans, just like they did to the Mayans, just like they did to anybody they encountered. | ||
| And they did it to them and just completely wiped them out. | ||
| And now they're using something called LiDAR, where they fly over the jungle. | ||
| And they're finding these grids. | ||
| They're finding what used to be like the patterns of cities and irrigation and shit. | ||
| It's fucking wild. | ||
| Archaeologists find vast network of Amazon villages laid out like the cosmos. | ||
| So this is the thing. | ||
| If they were super advanced back then, and they all got killed off by smallpox, and the only people that survived are the people that lived in the hills. | ||
| The people that were completely detached didn't get smallpox. | ||
| And so what you have left is... | ||
| The Amish. | ||
| The Amish of the... | ||
| Right, but maybe those people who made those incredible cities figured out ayahuasca. | ||
| Doesn't that make sense? | ||
| Yeah, that's the... | ||
| That they were advanced. | ||
| Yes, and... | ||
| You know, instead of like... | ||
| What happened after those ceremonies is like... | ||
| It happens... | ||
| When I do mushrooms, I shake. | ||
| Like your dancing shake? | ||
| I'm usually sitting, but I might... | ||
| Maybe you have a spirit in you. | ||
| Maybe you have like an extra spirit that's in you right now that's making it happen. | ||
| Here's a crazy... | ||
| I'll buy it. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| I'll buy it. | ||
| Literally, nothing is too far for me now. | ||
| Where I'm like, dude, it happens on stage sometimes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Where I'll hold my arm in a certain way and it'll get... | ||
| It's happening right now, actually. | ||
| It's gonna be your thing. | ||
| Like, now Bert Kreischer takes his shirt off? | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna do my dancing. | ||
| My spirit and my fucking arm dancing. | ||
| Just like, I don't fucking know. | ||
| And so, okay, so then I do that probably 13, 14 times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Over how many years? | ||
| A year and a half. | ||
| That's quite a lot. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I mean, you're burning the oil, right? | ||
| You're doing it every couple months? | ||
| That's pretty heavy. | ||
| Yeah, but it's like, I don't know. | ||
| Do I seem depleted in any way? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I don't mean heavy in terms of bad for you. | ||
| I mean heavy in terms of a lot of experiences. | ||
| It meant like... | ||
| I mean, most of the time, it was just, I would have the shake, and I just felt communing with the spirituality, basically. | ||
| You know, there's people out of the University of Jerusalem, I believe that's where it is, where there's scholars now believe that the whole idea of Moses talking to the burning bush, that the burning bush represented God, that that burning bush was probably the acacia tree, which is rich in DMT. They think there was probably a translation issue and that this was most likely. | ||
| Like, it makes sense, right? | ||
| Say if you smoke DMT and you do have an encounter with God the way you had, right? | ||
| You have this, which is from DMT. Imagine if they figured out how to do that back then. | ||
| What if it was just burning the bush and you could burn it into a confined area and you'd get enough DMT in you that you would see God? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, again, I don't... | ||
| Or they can make an ayahuasca or they figured out, you know, what's an MAO inhibitor and how to take the two of them together. | ||
| Well, that's the other thing. | ||
| It's like the amount of things that need to line up for it to... | ||
| For humans to be able to digest it. | ||
| It's like you got to drink vine and you... | ||
| You know, when Western scientists first started working with ayahuasca and isolating it, they tried to call Harmin telepathy. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, because they all had these very similar experiences where they're syncing up together. | ||
| So they wanted to call it telepathine, but they had already named it Harmin. | ||
| The rules of scientific nominature, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that's what they were going to call it. | ||
| They were going to say, imagine if they did that, and they started studying back then. | ||
| Just imagine what a difference the world is if it's not harming, but telepathine. | ||
| There's a thing called telepathine, and you take it, what? | ||
| Everybody would go, what is it called? | ||
| Why is it called that? | ||
| Well, give me some. | ||
| If they made ayahuasca legal in this country and developed research centers, And they made psilocybin legal. | ||
| I believe that'll happen. | ||
| I mean, I think psilocybin, you know, as someone who's been pretty into it for a couple years, I mean, you can have some really, really big reactions in ways that... | ||
| I haven't been harmed, but I'm saying like, it's like a clinical situation. | ||
| This is fucking big shit. | ||
| It's big shit. | ||
| It's like big shit beyond trauma, beyond... | ||
| The origins of the universe. | ||
| It is profound. | ||
| It's like profound doesn't cut it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The words don't exist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So to bring corporations, doctors, all that stuff, it's like, I think there has to be a spiritual element to it or else it's... | ||
| I think it can be very helpful, but it goes to the other point we're saying, which is like, It might not be for everybody. | ||
| It might not be for everybody, but it also might be one of those things that just has to get out there. | ||
| It just has to get loose and then we figure out how to contain it. | ||
| Meaning, like, what's the proper way to administer it? | ||
| And just let it get through people so enough intelligent people can examine it and have similar experiences so they can talk about it. | ||
| A lot of the legislation and a lot of the demonization of psychedelic drugs come from people who don't do them. | ||
| That's the weird part about it, is people have these ideas that people are trying to escape reality and that you're being weak. | ||
| I think that's why it's important, I think, to talk about it. | ||
| Because as stupid as it sounds for you when you're explaining it, to me it sounds totally believable, and I can tell that something happened because you seem lighter. | ||
| Everyone said that. | ||
| Yeah, you always have this heaviness. | ||
| Every single person I met has said I seem lighter. | ||
| Okay, so I did it a dozen or so times, and then I'm in New York doing this show, unacceptable. | ||
| Go to neilbrennan.com slash shows. | ||
| See it in your town. | ||
| And... | ||
| Someone says, hey, I got a, I'm, someone's here doing 5MEO, DMT, if you want to do it. | ||
| It's, I can get you in tomorrow. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I have a day off, I go, I do it. | ||
| I think I did it 8 o'clock on a Monday. | ||
| One hit, and I, I had, I always, DMT always sounded too severe to me. | ||
| The way you described it, blast off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The way Michael Pollan described it, he was like, he couldn't find much, it was too powerful. | ||
| But I was like, and I always walked around, and then I didn't have any, I was like, I haven't done Aya in a few months, and you know, whatever, it's a free night, whatever. | ||
| So I go, and I do it, and this is where I'm like, this shouldn't, this isn't for everybody. | ||
| I had to go back and watch your podcast with him because I went to the same place he went to, which is before the Big Bang is where I went. | ||
| Whiteout, I don't know what I am. | ||
| I don't know what breathing is. | ||
| I don't know what direction is. | ||
| I have zero orientation whatsoever. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I couldn't... | ||
| I felt like I developed the first synapse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| I'm nothing. | ||
| And... | ||
| I mean, really scary. | ||
| Obviously. | ||
| I mean, it's one of these things where I'm there, but I'm not there. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, what am I that's thinking that I'm nothing? | ||
| Clearly, you get into the sort of Sam Harris world of, you know... | ||
| And in that ceremony, so you start from the Big Bang and then it felt like slowly my character, personality, traits, soul come back into me. | ||
| And it was almost like I could pick. | ||
| I literally said at one point, like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. | ||
| Like, it was like a negative or a gossipy thought or a petty thought came in. | ||
| I was like, no, no, we're not doing that anymore. | ||
| I mean, obviously I do, but I'm saying, like, it felt like, oh, I'm getting to pick. | ||
| That was just kind of how I explained it to myself. | ||
| And... | ||
| I probably inhaled at 8 and I was back walking home at 9. But I had a big, that was a big one, like that Big Bang thing. | ||
| I describe it as Control-Alt-Delete for your brain. | ||
| And when your brain reboots, it's got an empty desktop, but it has one folder. | ||
| And in that folder, it says, My Old Bullshit. | ||
| And you get to go through that folder and decide if you want to just be comfortable and you just want to fall back onto old patterns. | ||
| They're right there for you. | ||
| Go back into your old bullshit. | ||
| Or recognize that you genuinely have seen something that has the possibility and the capability to reset your brain. | ||
| And reset your life and reset who you are and the way you think about things. | ||
| So I had that... | ||
| It's fast, in a way. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's 15 minutes. | ||
| But it's like, oh, fuck. | ||
| And then slowly you're thinking, and you're like, okay. | ||
| Okay, so I'll leave. | ||
| And so here's what's crazy. | ||
| That was Monday. | ||
| Saturday night... | ||
| Ryan Hamilton, great comedian, came to my show, and I'm walking home with him, and he grew up Mormon, and I'm talking, I'm like, oh yeah, and we've talked about religion before, and I'm like, yeah, I think I'm not, and I explain to him DMT, and this is Saturday night, and I, weird thing, like, in bed that night, and I'm kind of explaining the DMT experience to him, where I'm like, yeah, I was kind of near God. | ||
| And I was... | ||
| Yeah, I was like... | ||
| The way I experienced it was I feel like I was 100 feet away from the central creation force of the universe. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And... | ||
| Like you could feel the warmth? | ||
| Here's the crazy part. | ||
| It wasn't warm. | ||
| There was no human interface. | ||
| It was just a... | ||
| It presented as a wall or something. | ||
| But it was like... | ||
| It wasn't benevolent. | ||
| It wasn't spiteful. | ||
| It was just like, I created you and Saturn. | ||
| And by the way, I say I, but to me it's not a man-woman, it's just a force. | ||
| So you think it's a thing that's a real thing that creates everything, and maybe that does make sense if you think about the Big Bang, if you think about all of the incredible things that they've discovered about the cosmos itself, that there's a thing that's actually creating that, like a force. | ||
| That's creating things. | ||
| That was what I experienced. | ||
| So that was Saturday night. | ||
| Sunday day, I wake up and I'm like, I basically start having a reactivation, like a flashback or whatever. | ||
| So I go get coffee with a woman. | ||
| And I'm basically like split between reality and this other thing. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| And it's like, oh, this is bad. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| This is bad. | ||
| This is how many days after? | ||
| Five days. | ||
| Six days. | ||
| By the way, like 70% of people have a reactivation when they smoke it, apparently, because I looked it up. | ||
| I've had it while having dreams. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've had dreams where I thought that I was tripping, and then I did it. | ||
| But not 5-MeO. | ||
| Only the other one, only NN. Yeah, I mean, again, so I don't know if I took too big. | ||
| I only had one hit. | ||
| It's so strong. | ||
| You know, DMT, like, it's NN dimethyl drip to me. | ||
| It's very potent, super potent. | ||
| But 5-MeO is more potent. | ||
| It's the most potent. | ||
| It was, to me, too potent. | ||
| There's no visuals. | ||
| That's what's weird. | ||
| You just go to white. | ||
| It just whites out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's almost like... | ||
| You see like a pixelation, or you see like living compounds of reality. | ||
| Like you see things, you're in the middle of it, but you're one of it. | ||
| It like breaks down. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it means to be like an atom, it breaks it down. | ||
| That was the experience I had. | ||
| I'm like an amoeba. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like not an amoeba. | ||
| Amoeba's a single cell organism. | ||
| That's pretty complex. | ||
| You're not even that. | ||
| You're like the energy of an amoeba. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And also the energy of a tree, the energy of the sky. | ||
| Yeah, I'll accept that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, so now I'm on Lafayette. | ||
| So you're flying back and forth between... | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| And that Sunday and Monday, I had the thought, not only is this the worst day of my life, this is the worst day of a life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is the worst day of anyone's life. | ||
| Because I couldn't... | ||
| You were driving? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm just walking. | ||
| It's New York. | ||
| So I'm like... | ||
| And then plus I have this divergent vision. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Which is... | ||
| At one point I'm like, I don't understand reality. | ||
| And I'm seeing two images. | ||
| And I was literally like, this couldn't be fucking more hilarious. | ||
| Do you think they're connected? | ||
| No. | ||
| No way? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not even a little. | ||
| Because this is too early into that. | ||
| This is six, seven months ago now. | ||
| So now I don't... | ||
| At one point I literally have the thought, like, I might be in God's imagination. | ||
| I mean, I was fucking gone. | ||
| Like, I wouldn't wish... | ||
| I had the thought, I wouldn't wish this on Hitler. | ||
| It was so nuts where I was. | ||
| And I literally... | ||
| I thought, I'm probably going to have to kill myself, and not suicidally, from like, I can't take this. | ||
| But I also knew it was just going to be more of it. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, because especially that this is five days after you've had it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's gone through your system and something might have broken. | ||
| Were you thinking that? | ||
| That maybe something broke? | ||
| If you're experiencing it again? | ||
| Well, a lot of people have reactivations. | ||
| So it's like, I've read 70% of people that smoke 5-MeO get... | ||
| 72% was the number I read. | ||
| And if you do it... | ||
| When you're on the fucking highway. | ||
| Here's the crazy part. | ||
| I did a show Wednesday. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| No one knows. | ||
| I mean, no one... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No problem. | |
| I mean, it was a problem for me. | ||
| But the audience didn't know. | ||
| So by Wednesday, it had already started? | ||
| I was so... | ||
| Yeah, I was so fucking, like... | ||
| It wasn't, it was like right here is the thing. | ||
| Like I was never like completely gone. | ||
| It was just like... | ||
| Something was wrong. | ||
| At some point... | ||
| It's gonna pop out. | ||
| This can fucking overwhelm you. | ||
| And even on Monday, Sunday, Monday, it didn't overwhelm me. | ||
| But like, it was, it was fucking banana. | ||
| It was, dude, it was like, oh, this should... | ||
| So how'd you come back from? | ||
| Like human beings shouldn't experience this. | ||
| I literally had the thought like, oh, I went past. | ||
| I said I was aiming for God and I missed my stop. | ||
| So I knew intuitively do not meditate. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I just knew, and then someone, I read a thing about grounding after you have a psychedelic experience, and it was like, yeah, don't meditate. | ||
| That was like number one or two, and I was like, yep, way ahead of you. | ||
| Because the meditation would take you back there again? | ||
| Human beings are here, meditation's here, I was here. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, I knew, like, if I untether myself anymore, who fucking knows where I'm gonna go? | ||
| Wow, you might not be able to come back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, but I also was getting better every day. | ||
| How many days? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| Well, the funny thing was that was November 5th, and I was getting better every day, and then I went to the dentist December 21st or something, and I did the laughing gas. | ||
| Did it bring it back? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I was like, fuck, I gotta start over. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And for how long? | ||
| That was December 21st. | ||
| I would say... | ||
| Here's what's crazy, it was so... | ||
| wild that... | ||
| I like, you know the screensaver on Apple TV? Yes. | ||
| Couldn't look at it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Like, mountains and... | ||
| All the fish? | ||
| I was like, I can't look at this. | ||
| It was fucking, I didn't, I was literally like, I don't... | ||
| It wasn't, I've looked it up, it wasn't derealization, because I didn't think things were fake. | ||
| And it wasn't depersonalization. | ||
| I was myself. | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| Well, it's probably your brain recognized that it had this giant burst of DMT while it was conscious, and then it tried to reintroduce it. | ||
| Your brain probably remembered the experience and said, let's try it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense. | ||
| It's not like you did it again and I don't even know us to you. | ||
| But what was the state I was in? | ||
| You probably opened up a chemical gateway. | ||
| That's the thing that people think when they think of DMT or ayahuasca or 5-MeO or even psilocybin of being real. | ||
| They think that it might be like a way that you use chemicals to open up a doorway in your mind. | ||
| And that we think of it as not being real because it's not something that you can quantify like it's 50 calibers or it's 15 inches or 10 pounds. | ||
| It's like you can't weigh it or measure it. | ||
| But it's something that happens to everyone that does it. | ||
| So at what point in time do you say it's real? | ||
| And what is it? | ||
| If everybody has this profound experience that seems like they're in the presence of something infinitely loving and infinitely powerful and strange in its complexity and sees right through you, knows everything about you. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| But it's the entire... | ||
| Like, what is any of this? | ||
| And it opens this thing in your brain. | ||
| And once it's open, that's what McKenna always said, that that door is always kind of open, once it gets open. | ||
| That's where I am now. | ||
| So I got better every day. | ||
| I remember I went somewhere in March with a woman, and she's like, let's watch the sunset. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, I can't do this. | ||
| I can't do sunsets! | ||
| It's something about the... | ||
| We're all trying to get to a 35,000 foot view. | ||
| And I went to 35 trillion feet. | ||
| And I was like, I don't even need... | ||
| I need to not get lofty. | ||
| Reset. | ||
| I need to be like... | ||
| Grounded. | ||
| grounded and um yeah just grounded and like human and But to your point, I'm lighter. | ||
| By the way, you know how the... | ||
| When I did the Bad Aya trip and it was secure? | ||
| Now it's more secure and higher. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I can fucking feel it in my brain. | ||
| I can feel it. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| Like, the thing you said about the all delete reset thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A million percent. | ||
| I have a different... | ||
| My values are different, and I don't mean my values are different, like, I still, everything's the same. | ||
| It's all the same software. | ||
| The interesting thing is, like, I don't get hijacked by feelings. | ||
| I don't get, like, so overwhelmed by anger that I can't think straight. | ||
| I don't, I just, I'm like, and it's not because I'm more righteous, it's because my brain and body are different. | ||
| I can't do the shit I was doing before. | ||
| And it's all better. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's all better. | ||
| I can still write great jokes. | ||
| All that's the same. | ||
| Thoughtful associations, recall. | ||
| The same or better. | ||
| But I don't... | ||
| I call it my... | ||
| There's the autonomic nervous system of breathing and heartbeat and all that stuff. | ||
| Shit your body does without you thinking about it. | ||
| My autonomic value system is a little different. | ||
| And my connection... | ||
| My ability to connect to people. | ||
| I've fallen in love a couple times... | ||
| Way easier. | ||
| And I've been using the analogy of juice worth the squeeze. | ||
| The juice is excellent. | ||
| But Joe, that squeeze... | ||
| Yeah, it's dangerous. | ||
| It's like, that's one of them things where I'm like, man, what a fucking ordeal. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if I want to recommend it. | ||
| And it was four months, probably three or four months of, like, not, again, you wouldn't know it. | ||
| No one knew. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I couldn't talk about it for a month and a half or two months. | ||
| Like, I was literally like, I can't talk about it, but I'm not myself, but I can't explain exactly. | ||
| My friend said I just seemed preoccupied. | ||
| Yeah, I went through one after a really heavy DMT trip for a couple weeks where I was worried about accidents. | ||
| And I wasn't worried about accidents in a rational sense. | ||
| That happened after my eye. | ||
| I was worried about it in a sense that I felt like my ego was trying to regain control and that one of the best ways to do that was to put me in fear. | ||
| So that it would take care of me. | ||
| Be careful. | ||
| Watch what you're doing. | ||
| Like, what if one of those cars comes over the top of the fucking lane and smashes right into your windshield? | ||
| Like, I started thinking like that. | ||
| Like, what the fuck am I thinking like this for? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was all just my brain trying to play tricks on me to get my ego activated. | ||
| Because my ego felt like it just got blowtorched. | ||
| And, you know, it was just the reality of the experience was so bizarre. | ||
| So bizarre to the point where when I came back from it, I didn't believe in regular reality anymore. | ||
| The fact that I had known something that potent was just three hits away. | ||
| And then I had this... | ||
| I did it three times in the same setting. | ||
| I did it... | ||
| We went around a circle. | ||
| And when I did it the third time, I was like, fuck! | ||
| The third time was... | ||
| I went so far... | ||
| I was seeing all this Egyptian shit. | ||
| That was what was really wild. | ||
| I was seeing what looked like Pharaoh's heads and all of this, like the different stripes and gold and blue, and it was all these impossible powers. | ||
| It's impossible and shit that you probably have never seen or thought about. | ||
| Never. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| It's like, oh, this is not a brain association thing. | ||
| I've never thought of this. | ||
| You can't see that. | ||
| I don't think you can see that because it doesn't have lines in the sense of it doesn't have a border. | ||
| Like, it's not like this. | ||
| Like, I'm looking at this coffee pot. | ||
| I see where the edge is. | ||
| It has an edge to it. | ||
| Those things didn't have – they don't have borders. | ||
| They have an edge, but they go right into the other thing, and then they change what they are, and they're never the same thing. | ||
| They're always in a constant state of motion, and it seems to have consciousness. | ||
| Whatever it is, it absolutely reflects what you're thinking, and then, if you can let it go, imparts on you thoughts that you're incapable of. | ||
| Hits you with these thoughts and you have to address it and the best way to do it is just let go Like if you try to wrestle with it, you're I've seen people wrestle with it. | ||
| It's crazy They start screaming they roll around the floor. | ||
| Yeah Doug Stanhope. | ||
| I almost thought we lost him. | ||
| I got Doug high. | ||
| You did. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I mean, I really almost thought we lost him. | ||
| He's going Yeah, foam was coming out of his mouth like no bullshit. | ||
| I was like fuck do people die from this? | ||
| Yeah No, I mean, that was the... | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, you wouldn't want to recommend that, though, right? | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| It's like, I... It's one of those things, like, I can take it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fucking barely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, an already weird disposition, disconnected trauma, abuse, all this shit, and then it's like, I can take it. | ||
| I took it. | ||
| But barely. | ||
| I took it, but barely. | ||
| But like, 12th round, I don't know. | ||
| And I'm... | ||
| It's one of the things where I'm... | ||
| I'm... | ||
| I guess I'm happy I did it. | ||
| I'm better! | ||
| That's the thing is I'm better. | ||
| And it was always this thing of like... | ||
| Of course you're happy then. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why would you say you guessed? | ||
| Because it was so hard, dude. | ||
| It was so hard. | ||
| Maybe that's what you have to do. | ||
| Well that's what, and it's like I'm willing to, I can bear it, I can bear pretty much anything, but I'm saying like... | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It was, I'm telling you, it was rough. | ||
| And I'm a guy with like a pretty tough jaw when it comes to like... | ||
| No you do. | ||
| Self, you know... | ||
| I'm glad you expressed that. | ||
| I'm glad you told that story. | ||
| I'm glad you said it the way you said it, because it was very honest, even though easy to ridicule. | ||
| For a guy like you, that's hard to do. | ||
| It's also a little embarrassing, in a way. | ||
| Well, you're a comic. | ||
| You know that if you hadn't done that, you would mercilessly mock someone who talked like that. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what's funny is whenever I tell people the story, everyone's scared. | ||
| Everyone is scared. | ||
| Literally everyone's like, wow. | ||
| Like, that's a big... | ||
| And it was like, yeah, I didn't understand. | ||
| I was on a plane one time that had turbulence and I was like kind of falling asleep. | ||
| And my first thought was, what am I? Like, that's in December. | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna pee my pants. | ||
| And we were already like, how many? | ||
| Already went over? | ||
| Three hours and a half? | ||
| Four hours? | ||
| We're at four hours? | ||
| Nice! | ||
| Four hours, dude. | ||
| Pretty close to four hours. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| Yeah, thank you. | ||
| It was great to see you, man. | ||
| I'm really, really, really happy that all this happened for you. | ||
| I'm crazy about you, too. | ||
| And I'm, yeah, I think the world to you, too. | ||
| I think the world to you, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. |
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