April 29, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:18:19
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| It's tough to keep up with that NFT shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet Jamie's into it. | ||
| We're up and rolling. | ||
| Jamie's into it. | ||
| Jamie is aware, but you're not investing. | ||
| You've got a few weird ones. | ||
| You got more? | ||
| I have one of the big ones. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| I have a mutant ape. | ||
| Which is not the biggest. | ||
| I'm not going to put it out there it's the biggest. | ||
| One of the big ones. | ||
| Okay, how's that a big one? | ||
| Oh, by the way, this vodka, or excuse me, this whiskey you have, this Tiger Thick. | ||
| Tiger Thick. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| Thank you, bro. | ||
| I was surprised. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I was ready for some bullshit last night. | ||
| When you busted it out, I was like, because I got it offered. | ||
| There was a thing that was going on with me. | ||
| Cheers, brother. | ||
| Love you, man. | ||
| Love you, too. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Great to see you. | ||
| But I've been, you know, people have sent me stuff. | ||
| Like, try this out. | ||
| Would you like to get involved? | ||
| I'm like, whoa, I don't know. | ||
| I don't think this is good enough. | ||
| This is good. | ||
| This is legit. | ||
| It's like it tastes aged. | ||
| It tastes like- Which it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ten years Japanese aged whiskey. | ||
| It's the first blend of Japanese whiskey, American bourbon. | ||
| It took three years just to get the licenses from the alcohol companies in the United States was such a beast. | ||
| And then you're talking about years of trial and error, trying what I like, what I don't. | ||
| It was fun, though, man. | ||
| You nailed it, though. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| Smooth. | ||
| It's smooth, but it's different. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| It's a different taste. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a whiskey wizard. | ||
| I don't really understand. | ||
| Barnett is. | ||
| Barnett knows a lot about whiskey. | ||
| Dude, he took a sip of it, and I was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| He's like, there's caramel. | ||
| It's one of those guys. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| Caramel? | ||
| Did I ever tell you the time I went on a fucking wine tasting dinner with my friend Matt? | ||
| No. | ||
| My friend Matt's like a legit wine connoisseur. | ||
| So much so that he had a birthday and on his birthday he had this wine tasting dinner and you would get like a flight of wines with each plate. | ||
| So it was like a fancy restaurant, so they bring like a little tiny little piece of something. | ||
| I've done like Napa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't believe you went to that. | ||
| It's not my thing. | ||
| My friend, it was his birthday. | ||
| I love him to death. | ||
| So anyway, I wind up meeting this guy there. | ||
| And then years later, I'm watching this documentary about this guy that ripped off all these wine connoisseurs by taking cheap wine and blending it up and putting in fake old bottles. | ||
| And that was the guy I met at the fucking wine party. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they couldn't tell the difference. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The way this guy fucked up is, the movie's called Sour Grapes, and the way the guy fucked up is he ripped off one of the Koch brothers, which is not a smart move. | ||
| Those guys got some capital, and they know how to move. | ||
| This guy had bought, I think it was more than a million dollars worth of fake wine from him. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Brian Callen's the same way. | ||
| He loves wine. | ||
| But does he know it? | ||
| Does he understand? | ||
| He really does. | ||
| Don't get me wrong, he says a lot of bullshit to make us laugh, but when it comes to wine, he knows it. | ||
| And when I first started hanging out with Brian, what was this, 10 years ago around L.A., you know, he hangs around smart people, and I would feel so stupid, and I'd hang out with him. | ||
| But I'd watch him try wine, and I'd pick up on things they would say. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I'm going to use that next time. | ||
| And so, dude, we're at Scopa, Italian Roots in LA, and there's like all these fancy people, and they hand me the wine, and I'm swirling, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just copping, I'm swirling, I take a sip, I go, that's earthy, that is earthy. | ||
| And it worked, like it is earthy, I was like, oh my god, you guys are fucking... | ||
| Out of control. | ||
| Earthy. | ||
| That's my go-to. | ||
| Earthy. | ||
| I like wine that tastes good. | ||
| I've been drinking wine for decades. | ||
| I don't know what's going on. | ||
| I just go, I like this. | ||
| This is good. | ||
| This is funny with the whiskey. | ||
| It's crazy I have my own whiskey now. | ||
| I didn't drink my entire life, dude. | ||
| Being an athlete, never. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Drugs didn't touch it. | ||
| College football didn't fucking touch it. | ||
| And then, I don't know if you remember this, I was getting ready to do a set at the Comedy Store, and I was so nervous, and I was in the back bar, and you come here, what are you doing? | ||
| I was like, I think I had to follow up fucking Joey Diaz, I got like the worst, you know, spot. | ||
| And I was so nervous, and he's like, dude, take a shot. | ||
| You put too much pressure, take a shot. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I don't drink, just take a shot. | ||
| It was like Jack, you know, nothing great. | ||
| And then I took it, and I was like, I enjoyed that. | ||
| And I got there, had my best set ever for me at the time. | ||
| And then, you know, I believe in superstition, so then I was like, I'm just going to keep doing this. | ||
| Next thing you know, I got a bomb. | ||
| I got my own whiskey now. | ||
| I drink every night. | ||
| During the pandemic, I had a legit problem. | ||
| Because I got so into Yellowstone. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I'm on season two. | ||
| I just got in. | ||
| Dude, and Rip, dude, I got so into it. | ||
| Dude, me and my girl, every night I would binge watch that. | ||
| I'd put on a cowboy hat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would go through a bottle of whiskey and I... | |
| I'm surprised you didn't start looking at land in Montana. | ||
| I did! | ||
| And we go on vacation there now because of that show. | ||
| I wonder how many fucking people moved to Montana because of that show. | ||
| It's not a small number. | ||
| And I bet people in Montana are like, God damn it, you've ruined it for us. | ||
| Yeah, they're particularly proud of Montana. | ||
| Montana people are particularly proud and also they claim Montana. | ||
| This is our state. | ||
| I went hunting there once, and this guy wrote on someone's car something, like, in the dirt of someone's car. | ||
| Like, someone had, like, foreign plates. | ||
| Foreign meaning another state. | ||
| Foreign, yeah. | ||
| And the guy wrote, you know, like, fuck off from someone, Montana, born and raised. | ||
| All right, dude. | ||
| Like, just because the guy had a plate. | ||
| Bro, I've never gotten so much hate when I was, where was I? I was in Spokane. | ||
| But I stayed in Coeur d'Alene. | ||
| Oh, you crossed the line. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You went over to Idaho. | ||
| Went to Coeur d'Alene, which is like, you know, I don't know, an hour. | ||
| And Coeur d'Alene, if you've ever been there, it's gorgeous. | ||
| Gorgeous. | ||
| Like the Kardashians. | ||
| They didn't like it. | ||
| Dude, it's an amazing place. | ||
| During the height of the pandemic, out there, they didn't give a... | ||
| There was nothing, no masks, nothing. | ||
| No, it's Idaho people. | ||
| Dude, they didn't give a fuck. | ||
| But I go back on my show the following week, and I was talking about Coeur d'Alene and how great it is. | ||
| We've never got so many hate emails from people that live in Coeur d'Alene. | ||
| Like, hey, bitch, don't be telling everybody, man. | ||
| We don't want all you guys here. | ||
| Too late. | ||
| Like, leave the place like this. | ||
| Talking about... | ||
| Wrong reaction, because now you're talking about it here. | ||
| Now more people are going to hear. | ||
| Yeah, now I'm getting more hate from Coeur d'Alene. | ||
| Just don't read it. | ||
| But also, be cool, Coeur d'Alene. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Be cool. | ||
| It's a big commitment to move somewhere, Coeur d'Alene. | ||
| It's not like there's industry there. | ||
| No one's going to move there. | ||
| No, come on. | ||
| Be cool, man. | ||
| Yeah, people move. | ||
| Some people live there already, and then some people buy houses there for vacations and shit, or they want to escape the law. | ||
| And I love it, man. | ||
| Dude, Montana, Hawaii can keep it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Mexico can suck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's fucking Montana, dude. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And Idaho. | ||
| Oh, dude, you get on one of those. | ||
| Really, I love Coeur d'Alene, but as far as taking my family on vacation, we're like a dude ranch. | ||
| We're riding horses. | ||
| My son's doing archery and shit. | ||
| I'm eating bison every morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's great. | ||
| We went on a whitewater rafting trip in Montana. | ||
| It was fucking fun. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| Yeah, like you're on this rap, and it's like wild shit, man. | ||
| You get into some wild waters, and you gotta hang on, you're getting sprayed, and you're bouncing off these fucking rocks with these inner tubes. | ||
| And your kids are with you, so you think about that? | ||
| I did the same thing with my kids. | ||
| So stressed. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's wearing vests and everything like that, but I'm worried about bears more than anything. | ||
| I worry about bears. | ||
| My thing was, there's a ton of bears. | ||
| Grizzly bears, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, up there. | ||
| But the thing was, for us, they would come around, and it's not like a hotel. | ||
| You're in your own little cabin. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's in the middle of nowhere, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nowhere. | |
| Dude, they knocked on the door like, okay, just want to let you know there's a giant male moose on the property, okay? | ||
| So just stay inside, but if you are going to go out, I just want you aware. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, male moose. | ||
| Dude, you hunt and shit, so maybe we've seen one. | ||
| I've never seen one in person. | ||
| Yeah, they're Jurassic. | ||
| So I called. | ||
| I said, hey, this might be a weird request. | ||
| My kids, they're dying to see it. | ||
| Will someone pick us up and try and find this thing? | ||
| Like, yeah, sure. | ||
| They pick us up. | ||
| So it's me and my two boys and my girl and my father-in-law. | ||
| And we're going around. | ||
| And then the lights hit this fucking thing. | ||
| Dude, it's 10 foot tall from the fucking hoof to the horn. | ||
| It was nuts, man. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| I'm like, that's a fucking moose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, yeah, daddy. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| They're so big, and they're one of the rare deer species that will fuck you up. | ||
| That's what the guy was like, oh, they're so aggressive. | ||
| He's like, we wouldn't warn you if this was an issue. | ||
| Depending on mating season or whatever, whatever else is going on on the property, obviously we can't control if they fucking stumble on the property, but depending on what's going on, they can be uber aggressive. | ||
| It's very rare that elk are aggressive, but moose are very aggressive all the time. | ||
| I guess it's just the harsh climate that they live in. | ||
| Wherever moose are, I think grizzly bears are. | ||
| Well, that's not true, because there's moose in Utah. | ||
| There's no grizzly bears in Utah. | ||
| There's moose in New Hampshire. | ||
| No bears out there. | ||
| There's bears in Utah, though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Black bears? | |
| There's black bears. | ||
| There's black bears in Colorado, too. | ||
| Well, there might be grizzly bears in Colorado. | ||
| They've spotted unsubstantiated, but my friend Adam Greentree spotted one. | ||
| Got it on video. | ||
| It was in the San Juan Mountains, and there's been more than one sighting in the San Juan Mountains. | ||
| Of grizzly. | ||
| Of grizzly, yeah. | ||
| Which makes sense, because they do travel. | ||
| You know, they travel, and they find new territory. | ||
| Someone just died. | ||
| Some dude was out on his own hiking, and they couldn't find him, and then they discovered it was definitely because of a grizzly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| Couldn't be a worse way to go. | ||
| You've seen the Reverend, and when he gets to eat, you know, ass first? | ||
| Dude, go for my face, man. | ||
| Don't eat me ass first. | ||
| They just start eating you. | ||
| They don't, like, kill you first. | ||
| That's the thing about a big bear like that. | ||
| They just hold you down. | ||
| Start chewing chunks out of you. | ||
| At least a cat kills you. | ||
| Yeah, right away. | ||
| Yeah, they just get your neck and they want to be able to... | ||
| They're efficient killers. | ||
| Bears just start eating. | ||
| Brutal, man. | ||
| Fucking brutal. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| So you're only on season two, though, of Yellowstone? | ||
| Yeah, I'm only on season two. | ||
| I'm jealous, dude. | ||
| I just got into it. | ||
| Because then you get done with that. | ||
| You got season three, four, which is lit as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then there's 1883, the prequel. | ||
| The pre-prequel. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Same writer, Taylor Sheridan, who's the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's the fucking man. | ||
| Puts himself way too much into the episodes. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Which one is he? | ||
| He's the main, like, horse guy. | ||
| He's the one selling the horses. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, he's always on the horse. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| He rode it, too. | ||
| Yeah, my only issue with that is sometimes it's two balls deep in the horse, which if you're into that stuff, I bet people are like, oh, this is authentic. | ||
| But if you're not, it's like, alright, dude. | ||
| The horse stopping in the fucking sand and shit. | ||
| And he's just so into it. | ||
| But then that ranch, was it? | ||
| Super nuts. | ||
| Was that 6666 Ranch? | ||
| That's real. | ||
| You'll see as the season... | ||
| Don't tell me anything. | ||
| Well, I'm just saying that 6666 Ranch... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You already fucked it up. | |
| I don't know what that ranch is. | ||
| You don't need to, but I'm saying... | ||
| But you already told me. | ||
| But it's a real ranch. | ||
| But now I'm going to find out about it. | ||
| No, no, I'm just saying it's going to make it even better for you because that's a legit fucking ranch. | ||
| People who tell you spoilers always tell you that. | ||
| Oh, it's not going to ruin it at all. | ||
| No, it's not going to ruin it. | ||
| Have you seen the new, speaking of spoilers, have you seen the new Batman? | ||
| Yes, I saw that. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| I liked it a lot. | ||
| Besides, I mean, The Dark Knight's the best of all time, but to me, that, I was, halfway through I looked at my girl, because, you know, we have kids who can't go to the movies. | ||
| I looked at my girl, I go, I pause, hold up, is this not the best fucking Batman you've seen? | ||
| It's a great Batman. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I thought it was the best one, but. | ||
| It's up there. | ||
| I say that, and then I need to go, like, watch the other ones. | ||
| Again, you know? | ||
| Like, with fresh eyes. | ||
| Like, sometimes when something's good and you're watching it, you're like, oh, this is pretty good. | ||
| You might get on the hype train. | ||
| The costumes are a little whack. | ||
| You think? | ||
| See, I thought it was more realistic. | ||
| At least Catwoman, like, she owned cats. | ||
| She wasn't going to be able to die nine times. | ||
| She barely covered her face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was too hot. | ||
| So I didn't want to, like, cover any of her face. | ||
| Just, like, a little tiny thing across her nose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then also the Riddler. | ||
| The Riddler was scary as shit. | ||
| With the glasses. | ||
| See, the Riddler to me was so creepy because he related to all the incels and this mob and bring him to the fucking stadium and shoot everybody. | ||
| It's like, yeah, that could definitely happen. | ||
| The problem with all those movies is you compare them all against the Joker. | ||
| And the Joker movie was so fucking good and so creepy. | ||
| The Dark Knight you're saying with Heath Ledger. | ||
| Well, no, the recent one with Joaquin Phoenix. | ||
| Oh, with Joaquin Phoenix? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Joker is so good, but it's so creepy and such a good movie. | ||
| Todd Phillips just fucking nailed that movie. | ||
| And Joaquin Phoenix is crazy as fuck. | ||
| He's so good in that. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He must be insane. | ||
| He must be an absolute insane person. | ||
| There's no way he could be that good playing an insane person. | ||
| It's so good, dude. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| But the point is, like... | ||
| That movie's so goddamn good. | ||
| And the bad, you know, the character's so believable and they build it up so well. | ||
| Like, it's hard to appreciate some of the... | ||
| Like, you don't know the Riddler's background. | ||
| All of a sudden he's a bad guy. | ||
| But if we knew as much about the Joker, like much about the Riddler as we do the Joker... | ||
| And then they had that in a Batman movie. | ||
| If they have a new Batman movie with Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker, that's going to be insane. | ||
| But did you see the new Joker? | ||
| So they flashed him just at the very end. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| They literally just flashed him right at the end. | ||
| But it's kind of blurry. | ||
| But on HBO Max, there's a deleted scene. | ||
| And it's him with the Joker for like six minutes. | ||
| And dude... | ||
| Fuck, it's good. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Ooh, it's good. | ||
| A deleted scene with just him and the Joker? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it's very like Silence of the Lambs. | ||
| Remember where they use Hannibal Lecter to catch the other fucking serial killers? | ||
| Batman goes to him to give him the Riddler files like, I know you get off on this shit, maybe you can help me out. | ||
| Who plays the Joker? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But it's good, man. | ||
| I like how most of the people were people that you don't know their name. | ||
| Other than Robert Pattinson, most of the people were people you don't know. | ||
| You don't know the Penguin's name, but he's really good. | ||
| Colin Farrell. | ||
| That was Colin Farrell? | ||
| Yeah, how nuts is that? | ||
| Jesus Christ, really? | ||
| Isn't that nuts? | ||
| Couldn't tell. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I actually knew that. | ||
| I forgot it. | ||
| That's how good he is. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Oh my God, the makeup's incredible. | ||
| Nuts. | ||
| Dude, think about the Batmobile. | ||
| Batmobile's pretty dope. | ||
| I saw the Batmobile. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's incredible, man. | ||
| What kind of makeup did they do with him? | ||
| That car scene with him and that Batmobile, if you look up the Batmobile, it's actually the chassis of an old school Dodge Challenger. | ||
| Yeah, I heard about that. | ||
| That thing's legit. | ||
| Yeah, old school Dodge Challenger, and then they did a bunch of off-road shit. | ||
| Buy one, dude. | ||
| Fucking get one. | ||
| Seems like it's a wide thing to park. | ||
| Difficult to find. | ||
| Dude, in Austin, you'd be fine. | ||
| LA, I'd be fucked. | ||
| Here, you're good, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| You're good. | ||
| I don't need that in my life. | ||
| No? | ||
| Seems like a lot. | ||
| It'd be fun. | ||
| Yeah, I got enough cars. | ||
| You wouldn't feel like an asshole in that, would you? | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| You think? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's so loud. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like an asshole in my Chevelle. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| In the Chevelle? | ||
| It's so loud. | ||
| But the world's turning to fucking Teslas, man, and electric cars. | ||
| Yeah, but not totally. | ||
| This is why it's fun right now to have a muscle car. | ||
| It's like going out when you're 36 and you're still single. | ||
| It's like, this is the last days. | ||
| This is it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is it. | |
| There it is. | ||
| Wow, look at that. | ||
| No, that's not it. | ||
| That's not it, dude. | ||
| Someone made one. | ||
| Oh, someone made one. | ||
| No, but this one's actually a chassis off a fucking 68 Challenger, I think. | ||
| Yeah, that one looks more like Christian Bale's Batman. | ||
| Like the Tumblr, like that. | ||
| Like the Tumblr thing or whatever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was dope. | ||
| That was the Christian Bale one. | ||
| The one with two wheels in the front. | ||
| But the one that Robert Pattinson has is much more like... | ||
| Realistic. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| It's right above. | ||
| Right above. | ||
| Go above. | ||
| Above. | ||
| Right there in the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a toy. | |
| No. | ||
| Go next to it. | ||
| Second one in, Jamie. | ||
| Watch my finger. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| That's a toy, but that's what it is. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| That's off old school chassis of a Dodge Challenger. | ||
| It might be a Dodge Charger. | ||
| Either way, it's fucking ridiculous. | ||
| It looks like a Charger. | ||
| Yeah, it's so done. | ||
| I think it's a Charger, but it's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was cool. | |
| The whole movie was dark and mysterious and shadowy. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| That means a little emo. | ||
| Yeah, a little emo. | ||
| A little emo. | ||
| Yeah, but it worked. | ||
| It worked. | ||
| I love a good superhero movie. | ||
| I'm corny. | ||
| You like Avengers and shit? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| You like Aquaman? | ||
| I like it when they bring in the Hulk. | ||
| Yeah, I like the Hulk. | ||
| I get that in the Hulk. | ||
| I didn't watch Aquaman because I'm not watching any movie with Amber Heard in it. | ||
| I'll tell you what I am watching is The Trial. | ||
| Dude, it's the best reality show of all time. | ||
| I think I need to spark a joint up before we're going to talk about The Trial. | ||
| Do it, bro! | ||
| Because I can't get enough of it. | ||
| It's literally... | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's fantastic. | ||
| It's the best thing on TV. At first I was upset because, you know, I watched the news and they interrupted... | ||
| Ukraine getting bombed in the middle of a war with Russia. | ||
| It's like breaking news. | ||
| Johnny Depp, Amber Heard. | ||
| I'm like, oh God, what are we doing here? | ||
| I was like, let's see what's happening. | ||
| I was like, oh hell yes. | ||
| Sign me up, dude. | ||
| It's a cautionary tale for people that were thinking that it's worth it to date a crazy girl because she's great in bed. | ||
| This is my thing, though. | ||
| How great is she in bed that she can shit in your bed? | ||
| She can rip your fucking... | ||
| Index finger off! | ||
| She must be a real Tomcat in this act, dude. | ||
| I think he's probably a really nice guy and he had great moments with her and he keeps going back to those great moments and thinking they can get past all this craziness because Johnny, I don't know Johnny well. | ||
| I've talked to him before but I know of his career and I know of his love of Hunter Thompson. | ||
| And he's close with Stanhope. | ||
| Yeah, very close. | ||
| And that's how I know him. | ||
| That's how I've met him. | ||
| Well, I've talked to him. | ||
| I met him once personally in the comedy store, but I talked to him on the phone for an extended period of time once when he was dealing with all this shit. | ||
| And I think he's a really good guy. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Yeah, I love him. | ||
| I think he likes chaos, though. | ||
| He likes doing cocaine. | ||
| He probably likes doing things he shouldn't do. | ||
| He probably likes driving fast. | ||
| He's probably an animal in some ways. | ||
| He just loves chaos. | ||
| And I think that's one of the reasons why he loved Hunter Thompson. | ||
| He loved a brilliant man who loved chaos. | ||
| And that's what Hunter was. | ||
| Hunter was this brilliant writer who was a cultural commentator. | ||
| Who also enjoyed getting, like, obliterated. | ||
| How long ago, Joe? | ||
| How long are we talking? | ||
| Well, Hunter killed himself in the early 2000s. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| After, what was it, like, 2010? | ||
| 11 or something like that? | ||
| I forget what year he killed himself. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But Johnny was friends with him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Johnny played him in the movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. | ||
| Great movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He also narrated the Hunter Thompson documentary, which is... | ||
| Was it Gonzo? | ||
| Life in... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Died in 2005. What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Died in 2005. In Colorado? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he shot himself. | ||
| I mean, he was hurting at the end. | ||
| He had hip replacements, and he was in constant pain, and a life of doing drugs. | ||
| Like, hardcore drugs and alcohol obliterated his body. | ||
| So that was Johnny Depp's North Star, basically. | ||
| Yeah, that's his hero in a lot of ways. | ||
| I mean, Johnny Depp is... | ||
| I don't know the exact details, but he has a significant amount of Hunter Thompson memorabilia. | ||
| Like, he bought a significant amount. | ||
| When Hunter's wife was going to get rid of some stuff, Johnny stepped in and got it all. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| Johnny paid for Hunter's funeral. | ||
| It was millions of dollars. | ||
| He built a cannon to shoot Hunter's ashes into the sky. | ||
| He has this logo. | ||
| I don't know if you've seen that Hunter Thompson for Sheriff poster that I have out there. | ||
| He has a logo that's a fist with two thumbs, like a mutant fist that has a mescaline tab in the center of it. | ||
| And that's his logo. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And so he made a giant cannon out of this logo. | ||
| Play this because this is Hunter talking about it. | ||
| They'll do it from the beginning because he's explaining to the mortuary how he wants this done. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So he's discussing his future demise. | |
| God, this is dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so... | ||
| That is different. | ||
| Yeah, so he just decided that he was going to do this, and Johnny Depp actually wound up doing it at his funeral. | ||
| Well, I mean, clearly he was going to blow his head off, though. | ||
| Yeah, so this is him. | ||
| I mean, this was a young hunter planning this out. | ||
| God, that is dark. | ||
| Yeah, and so when he got old and became friends with Johnny, I mean, Johnny's got... | ||
| All the fucking cash in the world. | ||
| So he decided to just do it. | ||
| So he spent millions of dollars building this fucking cannon and shooting Hunter's ashes into the sky. | ||
| That Jack Sparrow money. | ||
| I think one fucked him up too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's the rocket. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| This is crazy that he actually went and did this. | ||
| It's so dark. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Music's all fun. | ||
| Johnny Depp is hilarious. | ||
| Just the fact that he did that is a legend. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| He's a legend. | ||
| Spent millions on it. | ||
| I'm a fan, man. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Think how long Johnny's been famous, too. | ||
| So he's gonna be wired a little different. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| The way I've described it is like getting famous when you're really young and then trying to be a fully grown adult is like making cement, but you don't use all the material and it doesn't cure right. | ||
| You don't grow up in a realistic world. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like nothing's real. | ||
| Yeah, it's beyond. | ||
| And that's Ralph Steadman, the guy who's drawing it, who did all the Hunter S. Thompson artwork. | ||
| He's a brilliant artist. | ||
| And so he helped Hunter design it. | ||
| I don't know if he was... | ||
| But look at this. | ||
| This is the fucking canon. | ||
| I'm on Team Depp for life. | ||
| You hear me? | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Team Depp. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I mean, I wish you wouldn't wear eyeliner, but yeah, Team Depp. | ||
| And a little too many scarves, right? | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Here's my thing. | ||
| I don't give a fuck anymore. | ||
| He can do no wrong in my book. | ||
| I'm a Johnny Depp fan. | ||
| If I was younger, I probably would have criticized him for it. | ||
| Now I'm like, yeah, look at that. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| This is super dark. | ||
| It's a wild move, man. | ||
| The guy shoots his fucking ashes into the sky out of a goddamn cannon. | ||
| It's a tough follow. | ||
| It's a glowing fist. | ||
| It's a tough follow if you die. | ||
| Yeah, how are you going to die? | ||
| And all these people go to his fucking funeral. | ||
| Bill Murray, who also played him in Where the Buffalo Roam, which is another fun Hunter Thompson movie. | ||
| But the guy was a writer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And two different big-time movie stars played him in movies. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Johnny Depp in fucking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bill Murray? | ||
| Bill Murray. | ||
| That's what a bad motherfucker Hunter Thompson was. | ||
| Bill Murray has some anger issues, huh? | ||
| I don't know, allegedly. | ||
| Maybe someone was a cunt on the set. | ||
| I agree, maybe they deserved it. | ||
| I'd like to hear both sides of the story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| There's people watching it from a distance. | ||
| Yeah, my funeral will not be like that. | ||
| Yeah, don't waste that money on me, man. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| Yeah, I want to be buried without formaldehyde. | ||
| I want to become a part of nature. | ||
| I don't want to be fucking filled up with some toxic shit that doesn't let you rot. | ||
| No. | ||
| But you want to be buried? | ||
| Just throw me in the ground. | ||
| No box. | ||
| No box. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, keep it organic, man. | ||
| Just dig a deep asshole and chuck me in there. | ||
| No, just like, I guess, get like a, what do you have, a Hennessy? | ||
| Just get one of those big Hennessy trucks and then have like your fucking boys, your meaty boys, your security. | ||
| When I'm dead, just throw my body off fucking Laurel Canyon. | ||
| And then just wherever it falls, just let me go, dude. | ||
| And then when you drive by, just fucking salute that part. | ||
| You know, you ever see the Tibetan Sky Funeral? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's the darkest. | ||
| No, I don't watch funerals on YouTube. | ||
| Well, Tibetan Sky Funeral is not really a funeral. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| They're feeding you to vultures. | ||
| Hard pass. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| They take your clothes off, and they chop you up with, like, machetes and hatchets and shit. | ||
| They chop you up into chunks, and they leave you out there. | ||
| So, like, you would have to chop up Callan in chunks. | ||
| Be so easy. | ||
| And leave him. | ||
| Not just pull him. | ||
| He's so old, I just pull him like beef jerky. | ||
| Just like... | ||
| You take chunks and leave it out there, and there's all these... | ||
| There's video and photos of it, and it's... | ||
| The idea is that, you know, you're dead, and this is a way to incorporate you into the universe, into nature. | ||
| It's natural to have you... | ||
| I mean, I don't know if that's what their idea is. | ||
| Maybe there's, like, some religious aspect to it. | ||
| Those vultures are ready to go. | ||
| The vultures know about it. | ||
| The vultures know about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Because this is how they get rid of bodies. | ||
| Vultures are bitches, though. | ||
| Dude, give me something better. | ||
| Like, test me with alligators or some shit. | ||
| Something like gnarly, man. | ||
| Lions. | ||
| I fucking hate alligators. | ||
| I don't want an alligator to eat me. | ||
| I'd rather have a bird. | ||
| A stupid vulture? | ||
| At least they can fly. | ||
| They operate in 3D space. | ||
| But also, dude. | ||
| They're like swimming in the ocean, but it's the sky and they can breathe in it. | ||
| Dude, also, that can only happen with small Tibetan people. | ||
| Nobody's carrying my big ass across the mountains to feed me to the vultures. | ||
| Well, they just get more people to do it. | ||
| But isn't it interesting that nothing smart can fly? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Crows are pretty smart. | ||
| Crows are pretty smart as fuck. | ||
| They're very smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, like, humans and dolphins are considered like, well, we don't know, though. | ||
| See, the thing about crows is we always like to pretend that we know exactly how smart something is based entirely on what it can do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And crows can do some really complicated tasks. | ||
| They can figure out how to solve puzzles. | ||
| But the thing is, they might be even smarter than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They might be, like, devious. | ||
| They bait shit in to feed, you know? | ||
| Well, they definitely do that. | ||
| They're smart with shit. | ||
| They talk cats into fighting each other. | ||
| You ever see those videos? | ||
| They're cool, man. | ||
| But I mean, I wonder if they have a language. | ||
| They probably have some kind of a language they can understand. | ||
| Because they say dolphins and whales do too, right? | ||
| They definitely do. | ||
| They have their own language and shit. | ||
| Complex. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We don't even understand how to decipher it. | ||
| Here, crows are self-aware and know what they know just like humans. | ||
| See, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Almost no other species has that kind of higher intelligence. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they're fucking big, too. | ||
| Look what it says here. | ||
| They're getting pretty big. | ||
| In what now feels like an annual update, crows are even more surprisingly smart than we thought. | ||
| But do they have true consciousness? | ||
| New research shows that crows and other corvids know what they know and can ponder the content of their own minds, according to STAT. This is considered a cornerstone of self-awareness and shared by just a handful of animal species besides humans. | ||
| They got a bad rap, too, because in all the movies, they're like the... | ||
| They're evil. | ||
| ...vilified, right? | ||
| Because they're all black. | ||
| Well, it's also, it's like... | ||
| They look evil. | ||
| They were, like, the crow nose. | ||
| It was like, there's magic attached to it, witchcraft, crows. | ||
| Dude, when I'm on my bike, you know, back there in the fucking Santa Monica Mountains, there's some big-ass crows, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big fucking crows. | ||
| Well, that's how you find dead things. | ||
| You find them hovering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Crows and rattlesnakes, man. | ||
| Yeah, you find birds. | ||
| But for sure, if there's enough vultures, you'd find vultures. | ||
| But the vulture thing is a wild way to ensure that the body's going to be consumed. | ||
| But then the skeleton's still there, right? | ||
| They smash it up. | ||
| I don't know what happens to the skeleton. | ||
| God, it's dark, dude. | ||
| See if you can get some photos of it, of a Tibetan Sky funeral. | ||
| Because I remember this was one of those things that I first found out about in the early days of the internet. | ||
| You know, like in the early days of the internet where you like, you would just get sent things and it would change the way you looked at stuff. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| The first thing I got was the Daniel Pearl. | ||
| Ooh, that was awful. | ||
| Oh, I ruined my fucking week, man. | ||
| That was awful. | ||
| That was an awful one. | ||
| Yeah, they copped those guys. | ||
| They call them the, what, the ISIS Beatles or some shit? | ||
| Those guys are... | ||
| Is that the same guy? | ||
| Yeah, they're fucked. | ||
| That was the guy that had an English accent? | ||
| Yeah, he's fucked. | ||
| I didn't know that that was the same guy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So these guys, it says don't take pictures. | ||
| Why wouldn't you take pictures? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Why do you think they're there, dude? | ||
| Some random Americans? | ||
| But I mean, wouldn't you want this to be documented just to show? | ||
| Because what is wrong with making a photograph of something that's kind of important in how crazy it is in comparison to normal funerals? | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| The people are all standing there and they're... | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| They're shooing away the vulture with those rags? | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| Yeah, not yet, boys. | ||
| Is that what they're saying? | ||
| In this case, in this video, this is on National Geographic, there's tourists that are coming to watch this. | ||
| Damn, someone flew out there for this. | ||
| Maybe they don't want them to do that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If you were in town, though, like, if you were in town, you wouldn't go see that? | ||
| Like, if you just happened to be? | ||
| Like, you're doing a show in Tibet. | ||
| Hey, man, tomorrow at 1, dude. | ||
| Hey, you know, Louis was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine. | ||
| I talked to him about it. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Dude, this is how wild of a boy he is, because he was at the shop and friends at the improv, and he did a guest spot there, and he was in the green room. | ||
| First of all, I can't remember the last time when there was a comic on stage and all the comics in the green room walked out and watched somebody's set. | ||
| I've seen it at the store when you're on, or Burr, you know, Joey Diaz. | ||
| Since then, it's been years. | ||
| Usually you just bullshit with your buddies, you know, in the green room. | ||
| And then when Louie was on, literally everyone was on the staircase at the improv. | ||
| And he just fucking absolutely annihilated. | ||
| And then also, I figured with what he went through, kind of changed his game up. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| What? | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Maybe even better, because now he's doing it like he's young and upcoming again. | ||
| Maybe he's like, I got nothing else to lose. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Then he comes back to the green room and he gets on his notepad and he's writing what worked, what didn't, and then did the late show and made adjustments. | ||
| So cool to see. | ||
| So fucking cool to see. | ||
| But between the shows we were talking, and he's like, yeah, it's weird. | ||
| You know, he was like, the media's reporting. | ||
| I'm still doing shows. | ||
| He's like, I was down to do it, even though they told me what was going on. | ||
| He was like, I was on a plane, dude, headed to Ukraine. | ||
| And then I guess it got worse. | ||
| And even then they told me, hey, the fans are outside, man. | ||
| They're here. | ||
| And he was like, even during this fucking... | ||
| They're getting bombed. | ||
| He's like, they're out here, man. | ||
| Imagine if he did the show. | ||
| Dude, then Louie goes, I'm still coming. | ||
| But then the plane, he said, was like halfway and then turned around. | ||
| He's like, but they told me they were there. | ||
| He was like, I'm still going to do it. | ||
| I was like, you're such a savage dude. | ||
| Well, Sean Penn was over there filming a documentary. | ||
| He was over there for quite a while. | ||
| That's weird, though, yeah. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| You want a good documentary or not? | ||
| You gotta have a little ego. | ||
| Do you want a fucking good documentary or not? | ||
| First of all, who knows how to make movies better than Sean Penn? | ||
| Probably nobody. | ||
| He's made some fucking amazing movies. | ||
| And the guy's got balls. | ||
| He has balls. | ||
| He went down to fucking Mexico. | ||
| Yeah, he went down to Mexico, and he's also the reason El Chapo kind of got busted, right? | ||
| Kind of fucked El Chapo. | ||
| It's kind of the lady's fault. | ||
| But also, the Rolling Stones, and, you know, get involved with this, and also El Chapo. | ||
| What the fuck were you thinking? | ||
| Rolling Stone magazine, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, not the band. | ||
| But the fact that he had the balls to go down and meet El Chapo, respect. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| Look, the guy's off kilt. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| Don't get it twisted. | ||
| He's tilted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's definitely like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a wacky dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's the kind of guy that's willing to go to fucking Ukraine in the middle of a war. | ||
| Sean Penn's meeting with El Chapo was nearly his demise. | ||
| Oh, nearly Sean Penn's demise? | ||
| He got a lot of shit for that. | ||
| In what way? | ||
| Well, you met with the biggest fucking cartel leader in the world. | ||
| Right, but he met with them to do an article. | ||
| No, he met with them because El Chapo wanted Sean Penn to do the movie on him. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's why they met. | ||
| That's why they met? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| See if that's real, Jamie. | ||
| They would have to do him the way they did the Penguin. | ||
| There's no way he's going to really look like El Chapa. | ||
| They'd have to give him makeup. | ||
| I think he's going to look anything like him. | ||
| Oh, direct it. | ||
| Making a movie with El Chapa. | ||
| Penn was noncommittal about making a movie with or about Guzman. | ||
| He took the trip to Mexico solely to interview the king for Rolling Stone magazine. | ||
| That's what I thought. | ||
| See, he just hadn't shared the detail yet with Guzman, a man known for not enjoying surprises. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So he went there to film, to do an interview, but he hadn't told Guzman that he was going to do an interview with him. | ||
| Hold on, read this. | ||
| This is where he fucked up. | ||
| Is that what it says? | ||
| This is where he fucked up, Joe. | ||
| What? | ||
| Look at this quote. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| Today I believe more in El Chapo than I do the governments that hide the truce from me. | ||
| Where does it say that? | ||
| Right here. | ||
| Oh, no, he didn't. | ||
| Oh, that wasn't it. | ||
| Doug Castillo wrote that on Twitter. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine if Sean Penn went that deep. | |
| Nuts. | ||
| But listen, the guy's got my respect. | ||
| He's got balls of steel. | ||
| He went to Ukraine in the middle of the war. | ||
| I don't care if he's a gigantic movie star. | ||
| I don't care if he's a wacky Hollywood elitist. | ||
| The guy went to fucking Ukraine. | ||
| Take some balls. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Balls like steel. | ||
| And then on top of that, meeting El Chapo. | ||
| More balls. | ||
| The guy's got balls. | ||
| You gotta give it to him. | ||
| Yeah, the El Chapo thing, though. | ||
| Balls, but also, like... | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| It's scary as shit. | ||
| The guy murders so many people. | ||
| The El Chapo thing's all balls. | ||
| You're going to a Mexican drug kingpin's house. | ||
| Not just any drug kingpin. | ||
| The drug kingpin. | ||
| Yeah, the most famous one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Savage. | |
| Savage. | ||
| You know, El Chapo. | ||
| He's tiny. | ||
| Del Castillo, I believe, is the woman in this scenario. | ||
| She's the soap opera actress. | ||
| Who had a relationship with El Chapo, they say. | ||
| Yeah, El Chapo was a fan of her performance. | ||
| Yeah, so when she said that, that makes sense. | ||
| Dude, I was at a... | ||
| My girl, you know, she used to work for Telemundo or Televisión, one of the things. | ||
| And I was at an award show. | ||
| She was supposed to get this award. | ||
| And that girl was there. | ||
| And this was right around all that was going on. | ||
| And I saw her and I was like, oh, am I going to pick with her and say, jealous El Chapo? | ||
| And my girl goes, do not do that. | ||
| I was like, oh, it'd be funny. | ||
| She's like, no, it's not funny. | ||
| I'm telling you, it would not go over well. | ||
| Yeah, all it would take is one dude who wants to win a point. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They play by different rules. | ||
| And it's right there. | ||
| You can drive there from San Diego. | ||
| That's not far. | ||
| Not far at all. | ||
| And it's essentially run by drug lords. | ||
| But also, because you cut the head off the snake there with El Chapo, now it's just mayhem, dude. | ||
| I don't know enough about the politics of the cartels to comment on that, because they fight a lot, right? | ||
| Oh, I do. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah, because me, my girl, and the kids were just in Mexico. | ||
| You know, I stress out about it. | ||
| I was like, let's go to San Diego, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, if something happens, at least I can call some people. | ||
| Like, Mexico, we're fucked. | ||
| My anxiety when we were there, dude, was I couldn't sleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I couldn't sleep. | ||
| Couldn't sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the last night we're there, we go to dinner. | ||
| And I haven't seen this the whole time we go to dinner. | ||
| And we're walking back in the... | ||
| One of the guys who works here greets us. | ||
| He goes, I'll walk you back to your room. | ||
| I go, that's nice. | ||
| But I see behind me there's a dude in all camouflage carrying an AK-47. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| I'm holding my son. | ||
| I'm at Boston. | ||
| He's two. | ||
| So I'm home like this. | ||
| I'm like, I'm putting him down just in case something pops off. | ||
| So I'm like, why the fuck is this guy falling? | ||
| So my girl's up in front of me, so I don't say anything because I don't want her to be stressed out. | ||
| So we get back to our little place and we go in there. | ||
| And then I didn't say anything because I didn't want to alert the family. | ||
| And the next morning I go, hey, when the homeboy comes back in here, because he only spoke Spanish, I go, Ask him why that guy with the AK-47 was following us last night. | ||
| She goes, what? | ||
| And I didn't want to tell you, but there was a guy following us back to the room. | ||
| So she talks to him. | ||
| Because he's following us, and as we get close to our little villa, he just disappears into the bushes. | ||
| Literally just walks on a different path. | ||
| And she asks him, he goes, oh, there's a high-profile celebrity on the property, and when he comes here, he hires his own security. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| And I was like, what? | ||
| That dude's that scared? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| What does he know that I don't know, man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| And my girl got mad because I was like, you know, they're kidnapping people. | ||
| She's like, who the fuck's gonna kidnap your big ass? | ||
| I was like, you never know, man. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| She's talking shit about kidnappings. | ||
| Kidnappings are real. | ||
| Me? | ||
| No, they're real. | ||
| Oh, for sure? | ||
| Kidnappings are real. | ||
| They really do kidnapping. | ||
| With Americans? | ||
| They're really good, though, about the tourist and resort towns for the most part. | ||
| They're not right now, though, Joe. | ||
| Like in Cancun? | ||
| And where's the main place people go? | ||
| Acapulco? | ||
| No. | ||
| Acapulco is some shit. | ||
| No, that shit where people go and they do weird shit. | ||
| Tulum. | ||
| Tulum. | ||
| Two people just died there. | ||
| People go where they can do real shit. | ||
| Yeah, they do drugs and shit there. | ||
| Yeah, people got caught up in a crossfire, right? | ||
| Did you hear why? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because, again, they're battling for that territory. | ||
| And when American tourists come, they want drugs. | ||
| So it becomes a big drug hub. | ||
| Well, the cartel provide the drugs. | ||
| So I guess they went to the main Tulum hotel restaurant and shook down the owners. | ||
| Like, yo, dude, cool. | ||
| We're going to take this much of a percentage and we're going to run this area. | ||
| He's like, nah, get the fuck out of it. | ||
| They're like, all right, cool, say less, dude. | ||
| And then they come back and there's, you know, it's the nice place of Tulum. | ||
| Cartel members like fucking margaritas and taquitos or whatever the fuck. | ||
| So they're chilling with the regular tourist. | ||
| Another gang sees them. | ||
| They just open fire and then two Americans die. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, you know, I think, but for the most part, and I did talk about this and we got emails where people were like, dude, you're more likely to get shot in LA, Detroit, and Chicago than you are in Mexico. | ||
| Like, Mexico's way more safer. | ||
| I get that, but I know how to navigate Chicago, Detroit, and L.A. Right, and you speak English. | ||
| I don't know how to navigate. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I mean, I'm not Jordan Peterson, but, you know, I'm not great. | ||
| I'm not a black man. | ||
| I always wonder when I watch you how often you have one of them little tobacco things in your mouth. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| Right now you got one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Because it always looks like you have, like, dental work. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Give me one of them things. | ||
| Yeah, you got it, brother. | ||
| Is it a real problem, these things? | ||
| I love them. | ||
| Shout out to Rogue Nicotine, dude. | ||
| Do you know anybody with mouth rot? | ||
| No, you're not going to get cancer from these. | ||
| What are you, a doctor? | ||
| The fuck kind of statement is that? | ||
| I mean, you know, they are addicted. | ||
| They are addicted. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This one's berry. | ||
| This is a new flavor of berry. | ||
| I love them, dude. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| You won't find a more intense flavor. | ||
| Listen, I don't... | ||
| You want one, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Yeah, come on, dog. | ||
| Get you some. | ||
| Dude, I don't know if it's because I got COVID, I'm just getting older, but I like intense shit like coffee. | ||
| Yeah, you had COVID. You can't smell anything anymore. | ||
| I can't taste anything. | ||
| You need to be poisoned. | ||
| Dude, spicy stuff, it can't get spicy enough for me. | ||
| Oh, I love spicy. | ||
| Yeah, I love spicy enough. | ||
| This is not bad. | ||
| This is honestly, no bullshit, all jokes. | ||
| No, these are not bad. | ||
| Yeah, rogues are the best. | ||
| You get like a buzz, like a cigarette buzz for those? | ||
| Yeah, because you know how like some comics will smoke cigarettes before they go on stage? | ||
| I do, you know, I'm not going to smoke. | ||
| I physically can't smoke a cigarette. | ||
| And you think that is... | ||
| Better for you, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Everybody thinks those vapes are better for you. | ||
| Who's everybody? | ||
| David Lucas. | ||
| Well, first of all, David Lucas is on tour with me. | ||
| I call him Vape Daddy. | ||
| At all times, he has six vapes on him. | ||
| Yeah, he has a lot of vapes. | ||
| I'll take a hit of it, but he has literally like... | ||
| Yeah, he's got extras. | ||
| He just always has vapes on it. | ||
| He pulled a fresh one out for me to try yesterday. | ||
| And I took it and I was like, is this actually better than smoking? | ||
| No, it's worse for you. | ||
| Is it worse? | ||
| Yeah, it's more condensed, like concentrated nicotine. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| No, I am, Joe. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Look that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's way worse for you than smoking cigarettes. | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| I do know of a young man who got pneumonia who vaped every day and he wound up dying. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I do know of that. | ||
| He was a young guy. | ||
| And he was a chronic vaper. | ||
| I mean, all day, every day. | ||
| And he had one of those box ones. | ||
| You know those thick ones? | ||
| Lunch box. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Almost like a small VHS tape. | ||
| And they're blowing just... | ||
| They smell nice too, but their problem is they market to kids, so there's like a fruit loop one, there's like a fruity pebbles one. | ||
| They're fucking tasty. | ||
| How good is David Lucas, though? | ||
| At comedy? | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| He's one of the best guys ever at roasting, like back and forth, like with Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Dude, he lit Tony up last night in the green roof with his coat. | ||
| He looks like a gay puffer fish. | ||
| He goes, I bet you blow up if I touch your ass. | ||
| He's like, off-the-cuff comments on Kill Tony are some of the best I've ever heard. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| When we're on the road and there's a heckler, again, he's the guy who will come out of the green room like, yes! | ||
| Oh, heckle him! | ||
| Do it! | ||
| See what happens. | ||
| Fucking heckle him. | ||
| You know, because Chappelle's not on the road with me anymore, man. | ||
| Chappelle... | ||
| Chappelle Lacey. | ||
| Chappelle Lacey, yeah, sorry. | ||
| Chappelle Lacey, who we both love. | ||
| Yeah, I love him. | ||
| Yeah, he also left The Fire and Kid. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| He just focused on his own show, which is on Thick Boy Network, the Chappelle's World. | ||
| Thick Boy Network? | ||
| Thick Boy Network, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I have my own, like, alley version of what you have here, but it's all my shit. | ||
| Yeah, all my staff, everything. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, it's great, man. | ||
| But Chappelle, he's so funny because... | ||
| When he first came on the road with me, I told him, I said, hey, the goal here is, you know, you get so popular, you're headlining your own shit. | ||
| That's how this shit works. | ||
| I don't want you to just be my feature. | ||
| And probably about, I don't know, six months ago, seven months ago, he's all nervous, you know, Chappelle, he's like the nicest fucking guy in the world. | ||
| And he goes, hey man, I can't do that date in Tacoma with you. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| He plays in a band or some shit. | ||
| He's like, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm starting to get headline gigs. | ||
| I'm like, dude, this is great. | ||
| You're doing your own thing, dude. | ||
| This is how this should work. | ||
| So Chappelle's doing his own thing, man. | ||
| Headlining, crushing it. | ||
| He's going to focus on his own podcast. | ||
| And now, hopefully David Luke's the next guy. | ||
| And David has it, man. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I can't. | ||
| Too much for you, Daddy? | ||
| Too much? | ||
| Did you give up, too? | ||
| You took out, too? | ||
| Bitches, bro. | ||
| Maybe it's the COVID. Maybe your sense of taste is fucked. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| It's enhanced. | ||
| Dude, and I've been carnivore. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| I've been carnivore. | ||
| I know you gave up on carnivore. | ||
| Your boy's been carnivore for... | ||
| What, since fucking December now? | ||
| I didn't give up on it. | ||
| I just added fruit. | ||
| And occasionally I cheat. | ||
| Like occasionally I have a piece of pizza. | ||
| Occasionally I'll have some bread. | ||
| But not much. | ||
| The vast majority of my diet is just meat and fruit. | ||
| We're the same. | ||
| I don't do fruit. | ||
| It's literally just meat. | ||
| And then I'll cheat. | ||
| Like I took my kid to the movies when it's all bad guys. | ||
| And, you know, whatever. | ||
| There's popcorn or something I'll share with him. | ||
| I don't be the weird dad. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then I do that show, Food Truck Diaries. | ||
| So... | ||
| You can't be on a diet on that fucking show. | ||
| You have to eat tacos and shit. | ||
| Yeah, or fucking barbecue. | ||
| So I'll cheat on that when the fighter's on. | ||
| But other than that, I'd say 98% of the time I'm carnivore. | ||
| Unless I cheat on the show. | ||
| For me, the big change adding fruit was workouts. | ||
| My workouts are better. | ||
| I eat fruit in the morning before I work out. | ||
| And I was doing a lot of fasted workouts before. | ||
| And fast and workouts are fine, but I really do think I get like a little extra juice. | ||
| I bet. | ||
| From the sugar? | ||
| Yeah, if I have some fruit. | ||
| So that's all I ever eat in the morning is fruit. | ||
| Dude, you're the best I've seen you look, I would say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| And also Jamie too, man. | ||
| I know I was talking shit before I came in here. | ||
| Living a good life out here in Texas. | ||
| It's good life. | ||
| You boys are crushing it. | ||
| This is what freedom looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Dude, it's so weird with comics in L.A. and then the comics here. | ||
| It's not a L.A. versus Austin. | ||
| They're making it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| A lot of these L.A. people are mad we left. | ||
| Dude, the LA scene's back and popping, dude. | ||
| I'm sure it's great. | ||
| People get FOMO, man. | ||
| Everybody gets FOMO. They get fear of missing out. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, fuck that guy. | ||
| Yeah, I guess because of Instagram and social media. | ||
| I don't see Instagram or social media, but I assume you post cool shit, so people are like, fuck. | ||
| I don't even hardly post anything. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, not about that. | ||
| I mean, occasionally I post stuff about our shows and stuff we're having. | ||
| Once your club opens up, though, talk about FOMO. But it's going to be a good thing. | ||
| It's going to be a good thing for comedy. | ||
| It's a two-hour flight from L.A. What are you guys crying about? | ||
| It's a good thing for comedy because we're just trying to help comedians get out there. | ||
| We're trying to give people a great place to perform where they're supported and they're taken care of. | ||
| Make them feel comfortable, like you can have fun there. | ||
| And it's an art form, man. | ||
| It's an art form that doesn't get the respect of other art forms. | ||
| It doesn't get the respect that music gets or that literature gets. | ||
| You don't think so now? | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| I think some of you guys do. | ||
| The process doesn't get any respect. | ||
| The process of developing as a musician, like if you're classically trained, you can go to schools, you can go to Juilliard, you can learn music, you learn how to read Beethoven, you learn how to compose, you learn how to play ancient songs. | ||
| You don't learn shit as a comedian. | ||
| You figure it out all in yourself. | ||
| It's all on you. | ||
| And if you don't have good comedian friends, it's hard to know what the fuck's the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do. | ||
| Without these interviews with George Carlin, we looked into his writing process. | ||
| I would love to imagine if there was a three hour conversation with Richard Pryor about how he does stand up. | ||
| That'd be good, but the game's changed now. | ||
| It hasn't changed. | ||
| It has a little bit, Joe, because, you know, you talk about a three-hour process of Richard Pryor and how he got to where he's at, and you look at the game now, what about a three-hour fucking conversation with you or Bill Burr? | ||
| Yeah, that would be great. | ||
| Or Kevin Hart. | ||
| But the thing is, you can have that, and if you took all the times I've ever talked about stand-up on this podcast, you would have more than three hours. | ||
| The point is, like, Richard Pryor was doing it when no one knew how to do it. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| He's one of the most revered artists of all time. | ||
| But his actual process of how he created that is kind of unknown. | ||
| I mean, we know that he worked with Paul Mooney. | ||
| We know that he had writers and other comics. | ||
| He bounced stuff off and he did a lot of workout sets. | ||
| And he would have these ideas. | ||
| He'd flesh them out and work them out on stage. | ||
| We know about all that. | ||
| But to hear him talk about it would have been fucking amazing. | ||
| But don't you think it's interesting, too, if you talk about a comics process, some comics like to write it all out, and some comics are just chaos where nobody's going to relate to it. | ||
| But I think that's why there's not that kind of blueprint for it. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And that's the same thing with... | ||
| I don't think UFC fighters get the... | ||
| You know the the accolades that these other athletes do because there's no path you're not going to college to You know a scholarship at Duke and go the NBA like you made it everybody makes it different way you made it as a wrestler Yeah, so yeah, or you came up the ultimate fighter Dana White's contender series. | ||
| Yeah, they don't get the same accolades. | ||
| I think it's the similar with comedy It's like everybody's different, but I think why you know I was so fortunate when I got in the game and I was surrounded by you and Bert and Tom and Delia and Theo and especially really you because people go, oh, Brennan, your work ethic. | ||
| I'm like, dude, work ethic? | ||
| You're the North Star. | ||
| You're the standard for work ethic. | ||
| You and Bill Burr. | ||
| You look at Bill, you look at you. | ||
| So I think it's like that's working, man. | ||
| Your blueprint, I think, is going to be easier for people to digest, if that makes sense. | ||
| Because you're not crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Does that make sense? | ||
| No, I know what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, because you approach it more like a professional athlete. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you have to. | ||
| You have to approach it like a professional. | ||
| But sometimes a professional is just a nut. | ||
| Like, some professionals are, like, professionally wise. | ||
| Like, Kennison. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You would never get him to do it that way. | ||
| You'd never get Joey Diaz to approach it. | ||
| Everybody has their own way of doing it. | ||
| But the point is that there's a way to parse that out. | ||
| It's not that you would teach a blueprint of how to do it, but there's a way to parse out all the ways. | ||
| If you looked at the way Gilbert Godfrey created stand-up, you look at the way David Tell created stand-up. | ||
| There's a way that we can at least get some lessons there and develop a study on it. | ||
| Because what stand-up is, is a kind of a form of mass hypnosis that most people love. | ||
| Most people love to go to a comedy show and laugh hard. | ||
| If you've gone to a comedy show and you saw one of your favorite comedians and they had a great set, you walked out of there like, oh my god, that was amazing. | ||
| You just took a drug. | ||
| You see people piling out of theaters and they're just laughing and they're having so much fun. | ||
| You gave them a drug for as long as you were on stage, and that, in its final form, like, you know, comedians sell out arenas, and comedians have Netflix specials that are huge, but in terms of the way people understand how that was created, there's almost no support. | ||
| And it's hard for people in the beginning to even figure out how to get going. | ||
| Isn't that what makes it good? | ||
| I don't mean to interrupt you. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| Isn't that kind of cool? | ||
| Part of it's good. | ||
| Part of it's good. | ||
| But it would be better if... | ||
| Once you got to a certain level of proficiency, you were helped along. | ||
| And I think that's what we can do here in Austin. | ||
| I think what I want to do with The Mothership is have this place where you can work out, and you can learn, and you can be around, and we can all help each other because you're going to be around these killers. | ||
| You're going to be around guys like Segura. | ||
| You're going to be around guys like Hinchcliffe. | ||
| You're going to be around these fucking murderers that come in from out of town. | ||
| Tim Dillon. | ||
| Tim Dillon's a murderer. | ||
| And you around that, you absorb all this shit. | ||
| Derek's out here, too. | ||
| Derek Poston's out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's an animal. | |
| He was on the road with me for two years, dude. | ||
| Animal. | ||
| Animal. | ||
| Funny as fuck. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| And he's out here. | ||
| And I think what you're doing in Austin is going to be great, and you build it, they will come, especially you. | ||
| But you did that in LA, brother. | ||
| You did that for me, man. | ||
| You gave me a fucking career. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, that's why I learned how to do it. | ||
| I learned how to do it in LA. Because it was like, the store was the place where people were doormen. | ||
| Or, you know, parking lot attendants and waitresses and shit. | ||
| And they wanted to be comics. | ||
| And that's how they got their job there. | ||
| And they went all the way to being professionals. | ||
| And they were always with us. | ||
| Like, we've had relationships with people there from the time. | ||
| Like, Ari and I were friends when he was a doorman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now he's a pro. | ||
| David Lucas was a door guy. | ||
| But that's what I took from you. | ||
| If there's anything, and I'm super grateful, and I almost feel like my careers make a wish when they find out I don't have mental issues. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here, dude. | ||
| But the thing I learned from you, it's like, now with my platform, not as big as yours, but it's not bad, I give back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Chappelle Lacey. | ||
| You're following the blueprint. | ||
| Little Browse. | ||
| You know, this white rapper who creates all the music for all my promos, and he's so fucking talented, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
| It's nutsos. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| You're helping. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's my job. | ||
| There's something to that that is very enriching for you, too. | ||
| It doesn't just help those comics that you're giving a boost to. | ||
| It helps you. | ||
| That's the thing that people think about philanthropy. | ||
| They think about charity work or doing something good for someone or being kind and generous. | ||
| They think about it like, wow, you're giving so much. | ||
| You get something out of it, too. | ||
| You feel great. | ||
| The universe wants to reward someone who tries to do better and tries to make people around them better and tries to get better because of those people around them that are better and tries to celebrate all the people that are better than them. | ||
| It's also the right thing to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the right thing to do. | |
| Especially if the people have the chops. | ||
| They just haven't been introduced to the fan base. | ||
| There's quite a few of those. | ||
| There's so many. | ||
| That's the thing I'm learning. | ||
| There's so many. | ||
| And some of them would have quit before. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| And because of the internet, they don't have to quit. | ||
| The internet is opening up a path where these guys are going to get promoted where maybe they wouldn't fit in on a late night talk show. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| Maybe they wouldn't get cast in a sitcom. | ||
| Or maybe Netflix passed on Economy Central, but for whatever reason, they can find their niche and people are going to vibe with it. | ||
| That's why I did, and I'd like your thoughts on it. | ||
| It's like with my special, the plan was to have my team shoot it and then sell it to all these major networks. | ||
| I'm not calling anybody out, but I'd meet with everybody. | ||
| You name it, I met with them, man. | ||
| They made offers, and I'd go, okay, what can you guys do? | ||
| They'd give me a list. | ||
| Then I'd call my team and go, hey, how much is it to this? | ||
| Can we do this? | ||
| And they'd give me all that. | ||
| I'm like, I feel like I can fucking do it, man. | ||
| And for me, it's like... | ||
| Where I'm at in my career, I need the most eyeballs possible. | ||
| It's not a paycheck. | ||
| It's not about money in any facet. | ||
| I just need this out as many people that they can see and see how hard I work at this stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to see a giant improvement in your set. | ||
| If people saw your first one to now. | ||
| The first one, I would have probably tried to talk you out of it, but I heard her talk you out of fighting. | ||
| And I was like, I can't talk him out of this, too. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| But you could have. | ||
| And showtime... | ||
| But Showtime was willing to do it, and they were gonna give you money. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck am I gonna do? | ||
| I don't regret anything, but at the time, and I think it's funny too, when I talk to fighters, Because it's my own perspective here. | ||
| Even in comedy. | ||
| Like, dude, there's no rush, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a fucking marathon, not a sprint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you're gonna get this stuff insane. | ||
| I just had this conversation. | ||
| You don't want it too early. | ||
| You don't want it too early, and it's also like, you know, Even on the road, it's like, you know, they're pushing me into theaters now. | ||
| I'm like, no, no, no, hold on. | ||
| I'll get there. | ||
| I'm good, man. | ||
| I need the reps in clubs. | ||
| I like clubs. | ||
| Clubs are great. | ||
| And I think, to me, it shows that I'm maturing as a stand-up. | ||
| And it's just like, give me time, man. | ||
| Don't force this. | ||
| We've been real fortunate to have Vulcan in town so that we work out here all the time. | ||
| So we're always working out in clubs. | ||
| So even if I'm doing arenas, I'm working out in the material in clubs. | ||
| I think that's the best diet. | ||
| I think stand-up has to be kind of like CrossFit. | ||
| You got to do like a small crowd sometimes. | ||
| You got to do like a, you know, a belly room type 90-seater crowd. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And sometimes you got to do, you know, you don't have to ever do the big places. | ||
| The big places are wild, but it's just like, you know... | ||
| It's a different animal, right? | ||
| 14,000 people in a circle around you is fucking bananas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| We had a great fucking time in Fort Worth last week. | ||
| Also, financially, it makes a lot of sense, too, if you can do that. | ||
| You make a lot of money, but the show is a different kind of thing. | ||
| The roars of the laughs are insane. | ||
| When you crush in front of that many people, it's wild. | ||
| And the timing's definitely You have to pace yourself more because they can't hear. | ||
| There's so many people laughing and there's so many people in the room. | ||
| You're not doing crowd work. | ||
| You can't pick on a person in the front row because the guy in the fucking 90s... | ||
| Occasionally some shit goes down. | ||
| Yeah, but in general... | ||
| When I was in Boston, some lady with blue hair was yelling at some guy to stop being racist. | ||
| In the middle of my show, I was like, what is going on? | ||
| You acknowledged it? | ||
| Yeah, I had to. | ||
| I was closing. | ||
| And I'm at the fucking Boston Garden. | ||
| It's a sold-out show. | ||
| It's my hometown. | ||
| Coming home. | ||
| I saw the fucking garden. | ||
| And the end of my set, set's going great. | ||
| This lady is yelling, fuck you, fuck you. | ||
| And she's standing up and pointing at him. | ||
| I go, what is going on? | ||
| People are great. | ||
| People are great. | ||
| They were great. | ||
| And she goes, tell that guy to stop being racist. | ||
| And I said, I go, I forget exactly how I phrased it, but it was something sent of, I normally would just accept the fact that That this guy had probably done something wrong if it wasn't for the color of your hair. | ||
| I think you might be susceptible to outrage. | ||
| I was like, you might be a little bit more complainy than most. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| I'm like, we're wrapping this up. | ||
| I'm bringing this thing home. | ||
| You hear fucking Burr's playing Fenway. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| They just announced it this morning. | ||
| Oh my god, he'll sell that out. | ||
| He's a hero in Boston. | ||
| Bro, they put him on the broadcast during the Red Sox game. | ||
| Oh my god, really? | ||
| Dude, he just fucking goes in on Derek Jeter and Canadians. | ||
| It's so fucking funny. | ||
| You could tell they didn't know what to do. | ||
| They're like, uh... | ||
| Well, see, he's a guy that can do that. | ||
| Remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football? | ||
| Yes, and got so much shit for it. | ||
| Because he tried to do jokes. | ||
| He had a bunch of jokes written, baby. | ||
| It wasn't organic. | ||
| It wasn't organic. | ||
| Somebody talked to me about that, and they were saying, is it hard to do comedy and commentate for the UFC? I'm like, is it hard to kiss your daughter on the cheek and then hang out with your buddies and high-five? | ||
| No, it's two different things. | ||
| Completely different. | ||
| And you're not trying to crack jokes. | ||
| I mean, you're a funny guy by nature, so if something pops off, whatever. | ||
| All kinds of, like, layers to them. | ||
| There's people that are sweet to their grandmother, and, you know, they're rough on a guy at work that's a dick. | ||
| You're different, you know, no matter what you're doing. | ||
| You know, there's some Hell's Angels out there who are great dads to their daughters, and then they've got to collect money, dude, and break some legs. | ||
| That was the thing in Goodfellas, right? | ||
| That Joe Pesci is always a great dad. | ||
| Yeah, that's right, with his mom. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, his kid. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| But the point is, it's like, I don't ever fucking try to be funny. | ||
| It's like, I'm just trying to talk about what's happening and not sound stupid. | ||
| And trying to bring life to it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just gonna do what I do. | ||
| And if you guys think it's funny, cool. | ||
| I'm not trying to be funny. | ||
| I never come on a podcast and go, I better be funny this time. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| We used to do these radio shows, and they would say, before you go on stage, or before you go on air, rather, a producer came backstage. | ||
| I don't want to name the show, but they're good guys. | ||
| The producer comes backstage. | ||
| Is it in LA? No. | ||
| And the producer's like, okay, so what topics are you going to cover so they can lead you into them? | ||
| I go, what are you talking about? | ||
| What? | ||
| I go, we're just gonna talk. | ||
| And the producer goes, what? | ||
| No, you have to do your bits. | ||
| I go, listen, man. | ||
| I go, listen, man. | ||
| I'm not doing my bits. | ||
| There's nothing worse. | ||
| And he shakes his head and looks at the sky and just walks out of the room like this fucking loser. | ||
| I'd be like, bitch, I'm a professional, dude. | ||
| I'm not fucking Ryan Seacrest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We can't just talk. | |
| We can't just talk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't think we can have something interesting about the fact that I'm in town for the UFC and a comedy show at the local comedy club? | ||
| You don't think that we can find something to talk about? | ||
| I think I'll be all right, man. | ||
| I talk for a living. | ||
| I'll navigate Get my way through it. | ||
| Let's just talk. | ||
| You don't need to know. | ||
| Funny thing about the zoo, Bob. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Did you say Chili's? | ||
| The thing about Chili's. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, come on. | ||
| That's what all those late night shows essentially did. | ||
| I don't know if they still do it that way because I haven't done one in forever. | ||
| But like if you did stand up on one of those shows, like you showed them your set. | ||
| They went over it with a fine tooth comb. | ||
| They changed a lot of it. | ||
| They would cut out this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four minutes clean. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to do super clean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then if you went to sit down next to Johnny Carson, I don't know how Johnny Carson did it, but I know that some of those late night talk show guys, they would have very specific things they'd want to talk to you about. | ||
| You know, like, so I heard you started riding a bike in your neighborhood. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| How's that going? | ||
| Funny you brought that up, Jay. | ||
| Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, man. | ||
| So you'd have to do this, like... | ||
| Corny bit. | ||
| That was back then though. | ||
| But then also with Johnny, right? | ||
| If you crush it, he'd call you over to the couch. | ||
| That was a big deal. | ||
| That was the deal. | ||
| There's no late show that does that now. | ||
| Guys' careers just got blown the fuck up from it. | ||
| There's nothing like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know you're the close thing to Johnny Carson now, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you know that. | ||
| But that's okay. | ||
| I like that job. | ||
| I like helping. | ||
| There's guys like Dan Soder or Norman or Shane Gillis. | ||
| You know, I do this podcast on a regular basis with Shane Gillis, Ari Shaffir, and Mark Norman. | ||
| Yeah, my favorite. | ||
| We call it Protect Our Parks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is the most ridiculous podcast. | ||
| Last time we did it, Shane drank 14 beers. | ||
| 14? | ||
| No, 15. 15. It was 15 at the end. | ||
| 15 beers. | ||
| 15 fucking beers! | ||
| I love all those guys. | ||
| Who the fuck drinks 15 of anything? | ||
| Shane Gillis does. | ||
| How about drinking 15 Diet Cokes? | ||
| That would be insane. | ||
| He'd probably die. | ||
| Have you done that? | ||
| Me and Donald Trump do that every day. | ||
| But I mean in a row. | ||
| He's got a stack of empties. | ||
| I'll drink 10 Diet Cokes a day. | ||
| Norman is the lightweight. | ||
| He dabbles. | ||
| He pretends he drinks and doesn't get too fucked up. | ||
| Ari goes in. | ||
| Ari and I get high. | ||
| Norman doesn't even get high, right? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| So it's me and Ari. | ||
| Me and Ari are baked and we're drunk. | ||
| Shane's old school. | ||
| Shane was coming to LA and he hit me up. | ||
| We're boys and we talk back and forth. | ||
| And then he goes, I don't think he knows that I have kids. | ||
| He's like, dude, you want to go to a bar, like a sports bar and grab some beers? | ||
| I'm like, bitch, it is. | ||
| This is Wednesday at 6 o'clock, dude. | ||
| My kids go to bed at 7. He's like, yeah, so? | ||
| I'm like, no, I'm not going to a fucking sports bar, man. | ||
| He goes in. | ||
| To watch game six of the fucking Yankees or whatever it was. | ||
| He's just old school, dude. | ||
| But he has started working out again. | ||
| You know, because he was a football player. | ||
| He was jacked at one point in time. | ||
| He was a big athlete. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he just got sloppy for a long time. | ||
| Yeah, I think he played football in high school. | ||
| And then one, I think he walked on to Army or some shit like that, right? | ||
| I don't know the full extent. | ||
| And I think he got there and was like, fuck this. | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| I'm out, man. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know the full extent of his athletic career. | ||
| He's hilarious, though. | ||
| But I do know that he's working out again. | ||
| So he's looking great. | ||
| Like, he's losing weight. | ||
| His muscle's coming back. | ||
| Made me grab his arm the other day. | ||
| I was like, dude, it's getting bigger? | ||
| Dude, it's jacked. | ||
| Like, because it's muscle memory. | ||
| That's the thing about a guy who was big at one point in time. | ||
| Was he that big? | ||
| Was he jacked? | ||
| I mean, he was an athletic football player. | ||
| I don't have a photo of him that I beat off to. | ||
| I'd like to see it, though, you know? | ||
| In his underwear? | ||
| Yeah, I'd love to see that shit. | ||
| Because there's always guys that wrestle or play football that aren't in good shape. | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| It's like where you're actually playing. | ||
| There's a fine line. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Where was I? Oh, I was doing Chrysler's podcast last week. | ||
| I don't know what people do. | ||
| He goes, oh, dude, you like this guy. | ||
| Dude, he wrestled. | ||
| He wrestled. | ||
| I'm like, oh shit, what were you talking, Oklahoma State? | ||
| Were you on the national team? | ||
| What were you talking about? | ||
| And he goes, oh no, in high school. | ||
| I looked at Burr, I went, that doesn't count, Burr. | ||
| He goes, why do I go? | ||
| I played basketball in high school, man. | ||
| You can't call me a basketball player. | ||
| There's levels to this game. | ||
| Well, it's a thing when they bring you in and you have to talk to somebody that has a casual understanding of the thing. | ||
| And it's like, okay, we're talking about a different thing here. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was on a podcast once and they had a guy that was like their security guy. | ||
| And their security guy was a fake karate guy. | ||
| And I kind of had heard that maybe some of the stuff that he had done was full of shit. | ||
| This is not a small show either. | ||
| And so I'm on the show and this was like during the days when I first started commentating for the UFC. And he starts talking about how the stuff they do is for the street. | ||
| Do you know how much that makes my fucking blood boil? | ||
| That's triggering for me. | ||
| It makes me so angry when someone says, the stuff we do is for the street. | ||
| See, I won't let that slide, though. | ||
| I didn't let it slide. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I'll be like, hold on, hold on, hold on. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We'll talk it through. | ||
| Like, I was on your boy, what, Patrick David Bett? | ||
| Patrick Bett David. | ||
| Yeah, Patrick Bett David. | ||
| He has a great car collection, by the way. | ||
| Oh, he's awesome. | ||
| I learned that after the fact. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| Love that guy to death. | ||
| One of my favorite people. | ||
| I love that guy to death. | ||
| I did his show. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| Yeah, I think it was at Miami. | ||
| Super nice guy, too. | ||
| The nicest. | ||
| I texted you before. | ||
| I'm like, hey, is he cool? | ||
| And he's great. | ||
| The best. | ||
| But he does a show with two co-hosts, and they kept saying, people do it to me all the time whenever I'm doing press, this guy's an athlete, and they kept saying, athlete, athlete, and I went, hold on, hold on, it's triggering for me, hold on. | ||
| I think we're a little too loose with the term athlete. | ||
| What's your definition of athlete? | ||
| I think ours are different. | ||
| And I'm not shaming anybody. | ||
| You're talking about elite athletes, like high-level college athletes. | ||
| Where I was at. | ||
| So if you're going to throw this term around, know who you're talking to. | ||
| It's like if you're in a room with Jordan Peterson or Elon Musk, you keep going, oh, this guy's smart. | ||
| This guy's smart. | ||
| They're going to go, hold on. | ||
| Your drug dealer smart? | ||
| Street smart? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, what does that mean? | ||
| There's different levels to this game. | ||
| There's giant leaps. | ||
| Yeah, it'll trigger me because this guy's... | ||
| But this guy had got them convinced that he was like a security expert. | ||
| And I knew he was a fucking idiot. | ||
| And when I heard that we do this stuff for the streets, I go, hey man, listen to me. | ||
| I said, the... | ||
| The best stuff that you should learn is the stuff that works on trained killers. | ||
| This is one of the good things with the internet, because Brian had this friend who'd hang around him all the time. | ||
| Brian would go, dude. | ||
| I remember that guy. | ||
| And Brian would go, dude, he fought fucking Czech Congo. | ||
| He did, isn't he? | ||
| He fought Czech Congo. | ||
| Also, he wrestled at ASU. I'm like, okay, cool. | ||
| And I was being cool about it. | ||
| And then when we'd hang out, he'd make references to it. | ||
| Yeah, I fought Vanderlei Silva in Brazil on the beach and all this shit. | ||
| I'm like, okay, cool. | ||
| And then I go, where can I find them? | ||
| It's easy to look up. | ||
| The internet's there all day. | ||
| If you did this, he's like, no, this is underground shit, man. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And I go, but you wrestled at ASU? He goes, yeah, I did. | ||
| I go, what years? | ||
| He told me, I go, Oh, my head coach at Rain Training Center, who's Chael's main guy and all those, I go, he was the captain of ASU. So I text him, hey, you ever heard of this guy? | ||
| He goes, no. | ||
| And then I go, dude, he was there the same year, so he was the captain of the team. | ||
| You wrestled for me? | ||
| He goes, hold on, dude, I didn't go to ASU. They would let me in the practice. | ||
| I'd go with the team. | ||
| I just wouldn't compete. | ||
| So I text him, hey, was there a guy that came in? | ||
| He goes... | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| You think we'd let an out? | ||
| No, it's against NCAA rules. | ||
| Because this guy's full of shit. | ||
| So I took Brian and I go, Brian, let me talk to you real quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me talk to you real quick. | |
| Your friend? | ||
| Full of shit. | ||
| It's very easy to prove. | ||
| And how did Brian handle it? | ||
| Oh, he was like, oh, really? | ||
| I'm like, yes, dude. | ||
| I know, dude. | ||
| Brian is so bad at seeing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's been so many times when he and I have been friends. | ||
| I've been like, hey, man, what is going on with that guy? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| That guy, he's like on coke, he's out of his fucking mind, he's full of shit. | ||
| Like, that's not your lawyer. | ||
| There was always people around him that just had no business being around him. | ||
| But God bless him, because he sees the best in everybody. | ||
| So he's like, no, dude, this guy fought Chuck Conklin on the beach in France. | ||
| It's a disturbing thing to be that bad at spotting liars, though. | ||
| The worst. | ||
| But it comes from a good place, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He doesn't mean to. | ||
| Yeah, that stuff's triggering for me on that Patrick... | ||
| He does come from a good place. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It's kind of endearing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God bless him. | |
| That he's so nice to idiots. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But it was way worse when he was younger. | ||
| Oh, it's still bad now. | ||
| Dude, he brought some kid in the... | ||
| It's way worse now. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Way worse? | ||
| Oh, way worse. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| God bless him, because again, I don't get mad at him anymore. | ||
| It's just sometimes you got to accept people over there. | ||
| He brought one guy in the thing. | ||
| He was like, he's playing in the NBA, dude. | ||
| He's playing in the NBA. I'm going to bring him in. | ||
| It's like five minutes before we go live. | ||
| I'm like, no, hold on. | ||
| Who's this? | ||
| You know, I'm like you. | ||
| I'm like you. | ||
| I'm between you. | ||
| If Brian's here and you're here, I'm in the middle. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know, I'm trying to get better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You know, and so he goes, this guy, he's giving me his background. | ||
| I go, You play in the Amiga's? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I go, Brian, it doesn't matter. | ||
| How does he fit on the show, dude? | ||
| It's a comedy. | ||
| We fuck around, dude. | ||
| He's just going to sit in. | ||
| So he sits in and then I talk to him. | ||
| You play in the Amiga's? | ||
| No, I don't play in the Amiga. | ||
| I go, you never play in the Amiga's? | ||
| He's like, no. | ||
| I play overseas, like minor league. | ||
| I'm like, god damn it. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
| But Brian heard, like, something weird. | ||
| So for him, he thinks the best. | ||
| He didn't even investigate by asking the man. | ||
| No, he just heard. | ||
| He's brought him on the show. | ||
| Tall black guy. | ||
| So he's like, oh, he's good. | ||
| I'll show you my value to this show. | ||
| Yeah, he's good. | ||
| My decision making. | ||
| So I'm going to bring on a guy. | ||
| How was the guy? | ||
| Was he good? | ||
| He didn't come up. | ||
| I wouldn't allow him on the show. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know this guy. | ||
| He can't have a mic. | ||
| We got a fucking show to do. | ||
| I don't know this fucking game. | ||
| You can't come on. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| And when I used to tour with him, he's not doing it now anymore. | ||
| When I used to tour with him, you know, we'd be in the front of the plane and people would walk by like a big swole black guy. | ||
| He'd go, dude, my God, your body. | ||
| I'm like, oh. | ||
| What are you, NFL players or something like that? | ||
| And I go, hey, let me talk to you real quick. | ||
| That's so appalling. | ||
| Because if they're not, dude, you know how racist that is? | ||
| Well, not only that, it's like a man just wants to get on a plane. | ||
| A man doesn't want to be complimented on his physique over and over again by a guy who's like, kind of acting? | ||
| Like, what is going on here? | ||
| But also trying to get to his seat. | ||
| He's like, wait, what? | ||
| The one time, I'll give this to Brian, the one time was Saquon Barkley, who's like the biggest freak in the NFL, and he's kind of shorter, but his fucking quads are like this. | ||
| So I see him, right, and he was his rookie year in the NFL for the Giants, and he's rookie of the year and fucking almost won the Heisman. | ||
| I track him, I see him come on the play, I'm like, oh, let's say Kwon Barkley, that's a fucking jack dude. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, Ryan's gonna say something. | ||
| He's walking by, he goes, hey, bro, my God, those fucking quads. | ||
| And he got it right this time, so it worked. | ||
| He goes, what are you, some sort of running back, let me guess? | ||
| And he's like, yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| And Brian's like, oh yeah! | ||
| And they're like hugging, taking pictures and shit. | ||
| Oh my god, it fucking finally paid off, dude. | ||
| You ran to Saquon Barclay. | ||
| If you throw a hundred darts, but one of them hits the bullseye, isn't it worth it? | ||
| Yep, it worked for him. | ||
| I don't know if he's still doing it. | ||
| He ever tell you about his fucking Bob Saget story? | ||
| No. | ||
| Brian's going to play some shit show. | ||
| And I think Bob's going... | ||
| It was Florida or somewhere. | ||
| You know, Bob's playing some fucking arena. | ||
| He's killing it. | ||
| And Bob's in first class. | ||
| I love this story. | ||
| Bob's in first class and Brian's walking by. | ||
| And Brian's sitting there and goes, Bob, what's up? | ||
| Bob goes, what's up, man? | ||
| Oh, good to see you. | ||
| And he's talking. | ||
| And he goes, where are you going? | ||
| Brian goes, oh, my seat's back there. | ||
| And then Bob just leaks in and goes... | ||
| Well, I've won. | ||
| He goes, I've won. | ||
| Brian goes, what? | ||
| He goes, I'm in first class. | ||
| You're not. | ||
| I've won. | ||
| Brian says, I was talking. | ||
| He goes, well, I've won. | ||
| Okay, see ya. | ||
| Give it back to you. | ||
| Brian's like, okay. | ||
| Well, I've won. | ||
| Wasn't Brian a comedian? | ||
| That's supposed to be funny. | ||
| I would've laughed. | ||
| Brian said he was laughing because he just kept shouting it. | ||
| Well, I've won! | ||
| I've won! | ||
| You're back there. | ||
| So funny. | ||
| He was a good dude, man. | ||
| His passing was a sad one. | ||
| That was a hard one to take. | ||
| Curious. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a conspiracy guy in any facet. | ||
| Which also, you know, met Alex Jones last night. | ||
| Nice guy! | ||
| Alex Jones is a very nice guy. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He loved my bit on vaccines. | ||
| That's what he told me. | ||
| So you're doing something right if Alex Jones likes your vaccine bit. | ||
| But, uh... | ||
| He's a nice guy, but again, I'm not a big conspiracy guy, but when you look into Bob Saget's death, it is a little weird, right? | ||
| Well, I mean, he fell, obviously. | ||
| He blacked out. | ||
| But here's the reality of not knowing about his health. | ||
| We could both fall into speculation here about all kinds of things. | ||
| You don't know why people black out. | ||
| We don't know if people have a history of blacking out. | ||
| And I don't know if this was the first time. | ||
| Sometimes people... | ||
| Legitimately have medical issues and you can jump to conclusions and not be aware of those. | ||
| Yeah, he might have been dealing with it in his family. | ||
| People have done that about close friends of mine or people that I knew. | ||
| Oh, it's horrible. | ||
| And it drives me crazy. | ||
| It's like, come on, man. | ||
| You don't know the whole story. | ||
| Oh, I'm not even trying to open a can of worms. | ||
| So he fell, apparently, it looks like. | ||
| He fell and blacked out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know as well as I know that when, like, you've seen street fight videos where guys get KO'd and their heads bounce off the concrete. | ||
| I watch World Star every morning. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| O.J. Simpson first, then World Star. | ||
| It's so scary. | ||
| But the only weird thing is the doctor that did the autopsy was saying, again, I'm not trying to start any shit here. | ||
| The article that I read, this doctor goes, the weird thing is if you fall, you usually will see a fracture in the back of the skull. | ||
| He goes, the weird thing about this thing, and he didn't draw any conclusions. | ||
| He just goes, the orbitals were fractured, the frontal was fractured, and the back. | ||
| And he goes, and the only time you can do all that is if you were to fall out of a 30-foot story building. | ||
| Or if somebody took a bat to you. | ||
| So he's like, so just fall in the bathtub? | ||
| This doesn't make sense, but who knows? | ||
| Yeah, but if you fell in the bathtub and you hit your face where your orbital is on the rim of a steel bathtub... | ||
| Or a ceramic bathtub, something ungiving, and then fell backwards. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| I mean, he might have fallen twice. | ||
| But also, he, uh... | ||
| Because if he fell and was like semi-conscious, he stood up. | ||
| And then fell again. | ||
| And then fell and then blacked out again. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not trying to start anything. | ||
| But my thought is, I don't know what his health was like. | ||
| Bob was in his 60s, you know, and he liked to party. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In terms of like, he liked to have a few alcoholic beverages. | ||
| I don't know if he was still drinking at the time and he never had like a drinking problem But I'm saying he's not it's not like he was running marathons, you know, he's uh Also shit happens like sometimes freak shit happens shit happens so for the family It's terrible that people keep carrying on with this stuff. | ||
| I'm just saying what that doctor said I thought that was weird, but it's also like okay at the end of the day okay, but also you If there was some malarkey or shady shit going on, it happened at the Four Seasons. | ||
| So they have video. | ||
| I don't think they think that. | ||
| I haven't really read any legitimate... | ||
| Because I think there's a thing with the cards. | ||
| When you get into the door, they know how many times you've done it, and they know nobody entered the door after him. | ||
| So, yeah, case solved. | ||
| Again, I would never disrespect Bob like that. | ||
| No, no, I know you're not. | ||
| It's just a conversation that he had. | ||
| He was a fucking sweet man. | ||
| Also a savage on fucking stage, dude. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just a really sweet guy. | ||
| Oh, he's nice to me, man. | ||
| Super nice to me. | ||
| He's nice to everybody, man. | ||
| He was always friendly and kind and genuinely wanted to engage with you and connect with you and talk to you, and everybody felt that way. | ||
| Like, you're hard-pressed to find people who don't like Bob. | ||
| Yeah, I'd say a bad thing about him. | ||
| But, you know, for me, I know you say he's nice to everybody. | ||
| You know, for me, especially coming to comedy, not everyone's nice to me, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which I get. | ||
| I completely understand. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| You know, like... | ||
| It doesn't bother me. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| But it's like, the guys that were and where I'm at now, you know, that goes so far with me, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, now it's like, hey, man... | ||
| Whatever you want. | ||
| You gotta fucking hide a dead body? | ||
| Call your boy. | ||
| Whatever you gotta do, man. | ||
| You were nice to me when you had no reason to be? | ||
| I'm in, dude. | ||
| There's bad people, and then there's people that you just might be annoyed by. | ||
| And you gotta learn to accept the people that you might be annoyed by. | ||
| The bad people are the people that are doing something bad to people, taking something from people, stealing something. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Robbing people, fucking people over. | ||
| Those are the people that you should be concerned about because they're not thinking about other people. | ||
| They're only thinking about themselves. | ||
| They're trying to victimize other people in order for them to gain their own success. | ||
| But the other people that annoy you, you got to look at what are they doing that's so bad? | ||
| And why are you spending so much time concentrating on it? | ||
| And I get criticism, and one of the things about being a person like you, or being a person like me, who's public, is you gotta accept the fact that people are gonna talk shit about you. | ||
| It's what we signed up for. | ||
| It's what you signed up for. | ||
| It's just a part of the program. | ||
| But some people... | ||
| It's not in their own good interest to be spending so much time. | ||
| No! | ||
| Just getting upset that this other person's doing comedy and they're doing comedy. | ||
| Like, they look at you like, oh, you're a UFC fighter. | ||
| Oh, he's doing comedy now? | ||
| It's almost like comedy is like some... | ||
| I know it's sacred to them because for every comic, it's like when you're on stage and when it goes right, it's like that's what you're working towards. | ||
| You're putting countless hours into that moment where you hit a punchline and everybody laughs and you know you're locked in. | ||
| And everybody's enjoying that moment. | ||
| It's all worth it. | ||
| Comedy's very black and white, though, too. | ||
| It's like, you could be Brad Pitt, and you get on that stage, especially at the Comedy Store, the Laugh Factory, the Improv. | ||
| You know, those aren't my home... | ||
| That's not a home game for me. | ||
| And if you're getting... | ||
| It's very black and white, you know? | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| Yeah, it works or it doesn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You're either going to sink or swim. | ||
| Well, that's one of the reasons why I had Carrot Top on the podcast. | ||
| He was always a guy who was like a whipping boy. | ||
| And I was like, why? | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| He's just doing his own thing. | ||
| If you have fucking kids and you want to see like a family-friendly, funny show, Carrot Top's show is really good. | ||
| Think how long He's been doing it forever. | ||
| Something's working. | ||
| And like when you engage with him, like when he was on the podcast, he's a sweetheart. | ||
| I love them on here, man. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He was weird when he got all juicy, right? | ||
| But I also enjoy that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got big. | |
| I enjoy that. | ||
| He wanted to get jacked for a while, but he got a little crazy. | ||
| But it's like the thing is, that guy was a whipping boy for zero reason. | ||
| For so long. | ||
| They call him a hack and shit like that, right? | ||
| Well, it was just that he was using props. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| But he was using them so well that he changed the genre. | ||
| No one else is a prop comedian now. | ||
| That boy sells tickets. | ||
| But it was a thing where when I was coming up in the 80s, like in 88 when I started, that was a category of comedians, a prop comic. | ||
| There was a guitar comic, a prop comic, sometimes people had puppets. | ||
| All those are gone. | ||
| I don't mean to interrupt you. | ||
| As far as puppets go, you don't really see it anymore. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, you'd have to have some real balls to go up at the comic store improv or ice house and fucking get out a puppet. | ||
| You better be fucking funny. | ||
| Jeff Dunham is awesome. | ||
| I mean, he's got a bunch of different characters, and Jeff Dunham kills it on the road. | ||
| Kills it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Kills it on the road. | ||
| I think he's Forbes top ten, dude. | ||
| Kills. | ||
| He just kills it. | ||
| Give me a fucking puppet. | ||
| The great one is Otto and George. | ||
| Yes, old school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Otto and George. | |
| I worked with Otto and George in the 90s in New York City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, damn. | |
| Yeah, we did shows in New Jersey. | ||
| We did shows... | ||
| God, we did a gang of shows. | ||
| We did fucking... | ||
| I did what they call prom shows with Otto and George. | ||
| And Otto and I would do these shows where... | ||
| You would have kids that were coming in on their prom. | ||
| So they're 17-year-old kids. | ||
| And they pump them in there. | ||
| And they can't drink, but they all bring in liquor. | ||
| They're all hammered. | ||
| And they want you to tell the same jokes so that the kids leave. | ||
| Because they can't get the kids to leave. | ||
| So they keep pumping more kids in. | ||
| And then they get the kids to quit. | ||
| The show's over. | ||
| Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| But they still sit there. | ||
| They can sit there if they want. | ||
| So then they do the same act so that they leave. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not doing the same fucking act. | ||
| What a nut. | ||
| I'm not bombing in front of the same kids. | ||
| Over and over? | ||
| I saw that joke! | ||
| There was a guy, I don't want to say his name, I don't want to embarrass him, but he was on stage and this kid was a big kid, like a big football player looking kid, went on stage, took the mic from him and blew cigar smoke in his face. | ||
| Savage. | ||
| And he didn't do a fucking thing about it. | ||
| I was watching, I was like, man, that's a problem. | ||
| Like, you gotta have security to stop that. | ||
| Like, you can't let that happen. | ||
| And this was during the prom shows, but that's how crazy prom shows were. | ||
| We would do like five, six in a night, but it was really lucrative. | ||
| Like, if you were like me and you were broke, yeah, you would get good money and you would get like five sets a night. | ||
| Yeah, stage time. | ||
| As long as kids kept showing up, they kept having shows. | ||
| So they wouldn't even tell you how many shows you had. | ||
| They would just call them prom shows. | ||
| And so I left when it was light out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Light out. | ||
| I left Dangerfields in New York City and the light was coming up. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| It was like fucking five in the morning. | ||
| I was like, this is nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| God, old school, man. | ||
| Yeah, that was with Otto. | ||
| Otto, he had some fucking great bits, man. | ||
| And the... | ||
| The dummy would say the horrible shit. | ||
| Like, give me some so you can see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
98. I need to lick some ass. | |
| You want to be an intern? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Suck my presidential cock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right now. | |
| Brush your teeth with my cock if you love your country. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Drop my pants and lick some ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| JFK got a lot of clues on. | ||
| All right. | ||
| All right, we're going to do the inauguration of John Kennedy. | ||
| Inaugurate? | ||
| Am I saying it right? | ||
| Run, Forrest, run, you motherfucker. | ||
| Learn how to talk, jerk off. | ||
| He's not even hiding his mouth. | ||
| He's just talking. | ||
| I did a bunch of shows with Otto, and one of the shows I did was also at Dangerfields, and there's this kid in the front row, he's like, man, I can see his lips moving. | ||
| Yeah, he's not hiding his lips. | ||
| You're missing everything! | ||
| Pay attention to the dummy. | ||
| It's a sledge of disbelief. | ||
| But this kid was so dumb, and he was sitting there going, man, I can see his lips moving. | ||
| You're missing it, dumbass. | ||
| Can I grab this ice? | ||
| Yeah, it's water. | ||
| Yeah, just grab it. | ||
| Grab it and dump it. | ||
| I think it's like one giant chunk, unfortunately. | ||
| Just smash it on the table. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Do you want some? | ||
| Yeah, give me some of that. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| COVID. Yeah, he was... | ||
| I'm not scared. | ||
| Yeah, me neither. | ||
| He's not a guy that people talk about enough. | ||
| Otto was brilliant. | ||
| And he was also... | ||
| The type of comedy that he did was just so reckless. | ||
| I mean, you don't see that at all. | ||
| It's a dying form, man. | ||
| But his was amazing. | ||
| He had an amazing thing because the dummy would say the fucked up things and we'd go, oh, that's crazy. | ||
| How can you say that? | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if there's a comic that could do it today and the dummy just says some outlandish shit. | ||
| And then he'd be like, can they cancel you? | ||
| I wrote it. | ||
| It's the fucking dummy. | ||
| It's coming out of the dummy. | ||
| Someone should have, like, blue hair, and they should be, like, the progressive, ultra-liberal, and then they should have a dummy that's their dad, who's like an Archie Bunker, who says some really funny, fucked-up shit. | ||
| That would be a brilliant act, because you would be exonerated, especially if you claim non-binary status before you started your career. | ||
| Crush it. | ||
| You would kill it, because you just get away with me. | ||
| You're a member of that protected class. | ||
| You've got pink hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You go up there with some fucking peace shirt on or something like that, and then you have a dummy. | ||
| And the dummy just says, horrible, horrible, horrible shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's brilliant, dude. | ||
| Someone's going to do that. | ||
| God, I hope they do. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Please do it. | ||
| It's a dying art form, dude. | ||
| The ventriloquist art form is kind of a dying art form. | ||
| Do you know how much fucking money Jeff Dunham makes? | ||
| I told you Forbes Top Ten. | ||
| When I was at Stand Up Live, it was probably four years ago. | ||
| You know, taking sales were good, and I'm walking to get food, and it's the middle of the afternoon. | ||
| I look over it, because it's right across from where the Suns play. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Packed! | ||
| I asked the manager, I go, I know the Suns were playing in the middle of the day. | ||
| He goes, oh no, it's Jeff Dunham. | ||
| He has a 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock, and an 8 o'clock show. | ||
| What? | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| He has a 2 p.m.? | ||
| It was like 2, 5, and 8. Holy shit. | ||
| I'm like, hold on, hold on. | ||
| He sold out Suns Arena? | ||
| Three times? | ||
| Three times the same day. | ||
| He goes, yeah, it's three more tomorrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| He goes to all families and kids. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| My dad wouldn't come to my comedy. | ||
| He'd go to Jeff Dunham. | ||
| Yeah, there's guys like that that completely escape mainstream media, but they're just killing it. | ||
| Crush it. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Are those real numbers? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm telling you, dude. | |
| And I was like, who the fuck is over there? | ||
| If that's true, he's probably the number one act in the country. | ||
| He's up there. | ||
| He has to be. | ||
| I mean, if he can sell out... | ||
| In Phoenix, six shows in an arena? | ||
| Well, those comics that do that, right? | ||
| I haven't even heard of that. | ||
| Like Fluffy, right? | ||
| Fluffy sold Dodger's statement twice now. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| I think he's for the Netflix thing. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| How many people are in that? | ||
| That's gotta be like 60,000. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I know they were telling him like not to do it. | ||
| There's some weird story. | ||
| I was talking to Enrique at The Laugh Factor about it. | ||
| They were telling him like not to do it because it was outside. | ||
| And then he was like, well, let's see how it goes. | ||
| And I guess it sold out in like fucking, you know, an hour. | ||
| Like, you want to do another one? | ||
| He's like, let's see how it goes. | ||
| And that bitch sold out. | ||
| Fluffy's a beast, dude. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Gabriel Fluffy Iglesias at second Dodger Stadium date after becoming first comedian to sell out historic venue. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Dude, they have his picture up at the ice house. | ||
| They'll be like... | ||
| 57 sold-out shows in a row? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like, holy fuck, dude. | ||
| 56,000. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A Glacier show will have a little over 45,000 people. | ||
| So he sold 90,000 seats. | ||
| It says Dave Chappelle's doing Fortnite, the Hollywood Bowl, which has a capacity of 17.5. | ||
| He sold out those dates. | ||
| It put 70,000 butts in the seats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at this hater, but there are plenty of tickets left for Chappelle's show. | ||
| Oh, stop. | ||
| Fucking hater. | ||
| Dude, how about- Maybe they're just saying that because you could go out and get tickets. | ||
| Nah, sounds like some salty bitch. | ||
| Well, they were just comparing them against how good Gabriel's doing. | ||
| Is the person who wrote that article Latino? | ||
| It might just be proud. | ||
| Might be that. | ||
| Might be a big Gabriel fan. | ||
| Doesn't tell you? | ||
| I mean, I can't tell by the name. | ||
| What's the name? | ||
| Tom Tapp. | ||
| Two peas. | ||
| Two peas? | ||
| No. | ||
| Nah, that's a white guy, for sure. | ||
| Probably a white guy. | ||
| Yeah, big fluffy fan, though. | ||
| Probably there's a lot to say at the local barista spot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With his frickin' Americano. | ||
| But also, you're not throwing shade at Chappelle, because Chappelle still sold more tickets. | ||
| Well, it doesn't matter. | ||
| It's still crazy, but it's still... | ||
| Both of them are fucking crushing it. | ||
| I'm just happy for Gabriel. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Happy for both of them. | ||
| Dude, when I met with all these networks, they were talking about billboards. | ||
| So I called my team. | ||
| I was like, hey, how much is a billboard? | ||
| They told me. | ||
| Here's the thing you don't know about billboards in L.A. First of all, Netflix and ABC owns all of them down Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All of them. | |
| They own all of them, dude. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So we're trying to get one, and we've been working on it for months, months. | ||
| Then finally, something happened where one popped up off Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
| Popped up. | ||
| How much is it? | ||
| They tell me, like, I'll take it. | ||
| Cool, but once you know it's off Hollywood Boulevard, and it's during the Netflix big festival, and it's right where Dave Chappelle's performing. | ||
| But for some reason, it's open. | ||
| But we didn't know in the next hour. | ||
| Like, hold on. | ||
| Hollywood Boulevard and all those comedy fans come in, I'll fucking take it, dude. | ||
| Take it right now. | ||
| So we fucking got this billboard. | ||
| They just put it up, I think, last night. | ||
| This fucking giant billboard off Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
| I don't think it does anything as far as views because it's so fucking old school. | ||
| It's more just a flex. | ||
| Yeah, it's a flex. | ||
| When I went to meet with everybody, they told me billboards. | ||
| I'm like, Okay, I'll do that. | ||
| It's literally just a show, you know, and obviously I have some other resource because I have a team behind me, but I can, you know, shoot my own special, cut the sizzles, commercials, billboard, whatever these networks offer, I can do. | ||
| Yeah, and you don't have to share it. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| How many people are involved in a network production? | ||
| Like if you're going to do a Comedy Central special, how many people do you have to talk to? | ||
| How many people at the network have to approve it? | ||
| There's a lot going on there. | ||
| And then also it's only on at, you know, Tuesday night at 8 p.m. | ||
| or whenever they decide to put it on. | ||
| How many times after that do they have to air it? | ||
| And is it going to be on the streaming site? | ||
| And okay, what kind of traffic is your streaming site getting? | ||
| It's one of those things, like, the beautiful thing about YouTube is that it has a built-in massive, massive audience. | ||
| And if something's good, people share it. | ||
| And it's easy to share. | ||
| They've got it down. | ||
| They know how to do it. | ||
| And you can cut clips, and then people can share clips. | ||
| And then also, when I met with them, I said, okay, this is, you know, again, I did it all myself. | ||
| I didn't hire a publisher or anything like that. | ||
| So I was like, just through my connections, these are the shows I'm going. | ||
| This is how many people we'll reach. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I'm just gonna give that to you guys? | ||
| I can do it. | ||
| There's no reason, you know? | ||
| It's also, all it does is limit your reach for a specific amount of money. | ||
| It's like they give you a specific amount of money to limit the reach of your show. | ||
| That's really what they're doing. | ||
| It used to be that, like, they were, like, if you got a Comedy Central special Or if you've got... | ||
| The ones that really work now are Netflix, HBO, and maybe Showtime. | ||
| Those still really work because they do have apps that a lot of people use. | ||
| But if you want it to look like what's the difference between one of their apps, what kind of traffic they get versus YouTube. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| It's not even close. | ||
| YouTube's crazy. | ||
| Also the potential. | ||
| Also, if you're going to do it for free and just release it, you can release it on Facebook, you can release it on YouTube, you can release it on Vimeo. | ||
| Cut as many clips as you want. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Rumble? | ||
| Rumble? | ||
| Put it on Rumble. | ||
| You could put it on Odyssey, Roku. | ||
| There's a lot of things you could put it on. | ||
| And that's, for you, ultimately, it's an advertisement. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| People to come see you live. | ||
| To say, come see me live. | ||
| And that's the way, you know, I came up different than you did, where, you know, when you were coming up, especially, I would even say Netflix now, it's a little different, but when you were coming up, you know, maybe eight guys got specials. | ||
| You know, but now it's more of like an advertisement. | ||
| Just, you know, you're doubling down your shelf. | ||
| Come see me on the road. | ||
| If you like this, I'll be here, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| And the thing about stand-up specials as opposed to anything else is you don't need anybody else. | ||
| Like, you need someone else if you want to film a show. | ||
| Like, if you have the idea for, like, some sort of a sitcom and you wrote it, you wrote in these characters, You're going to need people. | ||
| You're going to need camera people, sound people, lighting people. | ||
| You're going to need set people, set designers. | ||
| You're going to need a lot of shit. | ||
| Then it makes sense to plug into an existing network. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Because it's like, okay, we're in the creative side and you guys are in the facilitating side and the executive side. | ||
| Let's get together and have some fun. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| But with comedy, it's like, what exactly is your part? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You're deciding what I can and can't say. | ||
| That's all you're doing. | ||
| There's no real budget other than the set. | ||
| The set and the crew, which my crew shot it, and the cameras were mine. | ||
| We have all that. | ||
| Nothing like a show. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| The moving parts of a show, you're talking to what? | ||
| And the sets and insurance and all that shit. | ||
| And all the different cast members, they have to know their lives. | ||
| There's lines, and they have to rehearse, and there's writers, and there's revisions. | ||
| It's a different animal than stand-up. | ||
| So when they jump in in the stand-up world, I don't think it's necessary. | ||
| I don't think it's good for us. | ||
| Because then you start dealing with other people's ideas of what you should and shouldn't say versus your idea. | ||
| Like, there's some stuff that I did in the past that I wouldn't do now on stage, bits that I did that I wouldn't do anymore. | ||
| But if you look at the overall thing of it, what I could say is that it was all what I wanted to do. | ||
| I tried it out, and maybe I didn't like the reaction, or maybe I didn't think about it the same way that I think about it now. | ||
| But it's all a process of learning and getting better at it. | ||
| As soon as you interject other people into that process, you're subject to their whims. | ||
| And then people have egos. | ||
| They want to be like, oh, I'm the one who told them to wear this, or I'm the one who told them to not say that. | ||
| Let's do the special in black and white. | ||
| Especially right now. | ||
| Especially right now. | ||
| Especially when I was shopping. | ||
| It was a bit of a different time than it even is now. | ||
| You know, I have some bits about vaccines and Newsom and Garcetti, and they're like, dude, we're cutting this. | ||
| And I, in the meeting room, you know, again, I'm not where you're at, so I was like, well, I guess I could compromise on that. | ||
| And then I would go back and You know, I just feel like, you know, I'm like, why am I doing this? | ||
| Why the fuck would I cut that stuff? | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| It works. | ||
| People dig it. | ||
| You're going to let this guy decide? | ||
| And for what, man? | ||
| And then I think, too, I saw, you know, like the way they vilified you and the media and stuff like that. | ||
| And it's just like, this is all fucking malarkey. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| And you're going to bow down to this, dude? | ||
| You want to be... | ||
| There's different people. | ||
| You want to be accepted by who? | ||
| What approval are you looking for? | ||
| There's different people. | ||
| There's regular people, the people that are around when they're having a drink at your house, when there's no cameras, when it's just you and another person. | ||
| That's people when they're at their most normal. | ||
| And then there's people when they're in corporate positions. | ||
| And then there's people that are in these jobs where you have to abide by this rigid set of rules of how do you do things and behavior and what you dress like. | ||
| But also, they don't want to be responsible for, who greenlit that? | ||
| Who allowed them to do that? | ||
| What are you guys doing? | ||
| And then they start getting backlash. | ||
| They're like, what the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| And then they take it down, right? | ||
| And you sold it to them. | ||
| But that world of not having control of your life, there's consequences to not having control of your life. | ||
| There's consequences to being an executive where you're working 16 hours a day, Five, six days a week and you never do anything else. | ||
| You're obsessed. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure you have a nice car. | ||
| I'm sure your house is amazing. | ||
| I'm sure you're balling. | ||
| I'm sure you're balling. | ||
| Comes out of price though. | ||
| But you're paying a fucking heavy price. | ||
| And the difference between the price that an executive pays versus the price that a comic pays... | ||
| It's quite different. | ||
| You know, so when people say you work hard, like, sure, that's something you love to do. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But real working hard is doing something you fucking hate because you don't want your kids to be hungry. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| That's real working hard. | ||
| I don't do any of that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, again, you're the North Star, man, for a lot of comics. | ||
| And I think even with me at the level and put on YouTube and getting the billboards and shooting the commercial and sizzle and all my team doing it, it shows you, you know, we'll see what happens with it. | ||
| Nothing I can do now, but it's like you don't need anybody, dude. | ||
| If the material is good, it speaks for itself. | ||
| What we do need is friends. | ||
| And that's one of the best things about this internet culture as opposed to the culture that existed before. | ||
| It was like, for comics at least, we would try to get on sitcoms, we would try to get a spot on like a late night talk show was the key. | ||
| If you get a late night, even if a small network offered you a late night talk show, oh my god, it's a big deal. | ||
| And there's only a certain amount of spots, so it was like dog-eat-dog, dude. | ||
| That's exactly what the problem was. | ||
| And then when the internet opened up, we all looked at it differently because we realized, like, well, we actually benefit from being around each other. | ||
| Benefit from helping each other. | ||
| And again, I think you established that culture in comedy, especially at a time where it wasn't really, like, highlighted. | ||
| You know, you look at, like, with my special, I went, dude, Andrew Schultz and his team, I didn't ask him for anything, dude. | ||
| I didn't say, hey, help me out. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| He hit me up. | ||
| Hey, man, when you're shooting, I'm going to come make sure it's ready to go. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| He goes, I'm going to come out. | ||
| Where are you taping at? | ||
| And it's middle of a pandemic. | ||
| I've got to run the hour, the half an hour show. | ||
| He goes, where are you taping at? | ||
| He was shooting a movie with Eddie Murphy for Netflix or something. | ||
| And he goes, I'm going to pull up to the late show. | ||
| I'm going to sit there and watch it as a fan, dude, and let you know. | ||
| I didn't ask him to do any of this, dude. | ||
| He comes, after being on set all day, Schultz, he comes, watches it, we talk in the back, and then he goes, let me know, man, because I know the YouTube algorithm, how it should look, stuff like that, and then has just been, here's my team. | ||
| Him and Akash, here's my fucking team, dude. | ||
| Any questions you have, use us. | ||
| So my team connects with his team, and then even, you know, People know you always support me, but even you and DiStefano and DiStefano are like, send it to me, man. | ||
| The edits here and just stuff that you guys have so much more experience. | ||
| What you guys say, I'm fucking sure as hell listening. | ||
| I really give you the credit. | ||
| You create this culture where we help each other out. | ||
| And in turn, I do the exact same with Chappelle and all these guys, and that's all you, man. | ||
| Well, that's a culture that comes from martial arts. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| In martial arts, you need trainers. | ||
| You need training partners. | ||
| You're only as good as your training partners. | ||
| Yeah, you need coaches, you need training partners, everybody works together. | ||
| And you're always helping people with different things that you see, because you also realize that it helps you. | ||
| Like, I always tell this story about my friend Brent. | ||
| When he went to, when he first started training at Tenth Planet, He was really good. | ||
| We always had fun battles. | ||
| We always rolled together hard. | ||
| And then he started teaching. | ||
| And the leap that he made within one year was crazy. | ||
| And I remember I had this conversation with him. | ||
| I was like, how did you get better so quick? | ||
| Like, you're so much better. | ||
| And he said, dude, it's all the teaching. | ||
| Because I have these paths solidified in my head. | ||
| And instead of guessing in the chaos, I know what's going on next. | ||
| Slows it down. | ||
| Yeah, it slows it down. | ||
| And I think that applies to comedy, too. | ||
| I think the helping of guys coming up helps everybody, because the more you talk about stand-up and the way you do it, the more it kind of affirms the value of it, and that there's a discipline to it, and that there's other guys that are doing the same thing I'm doing, just doing it a different way. | ||
| And you learn it inside out as you're helping. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Helping, coaching, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can take stuff from that and apply it to your own shit. | ||
| Yeah, like when you see a friend's bit and it's too wordy, there's too many words in it, you're like, ooh, too many words. | ||
| Like as you a person that is only seeing it once, fresh eyes, you have a way better perspective for the most part than the person that's actually saying it. | ||
| Because the person that's saying it, they've thought it through, maybe I'll say it this way, maybe I'll say it that way. | ||
| And then they say it, and maybe when they're saying it, they're a little confused, like, oh, I gotta explain this better. | ||
| And so they add a little extra words to it, and it just makes it kind of clunky. | ||
| You can see that on the outside if you're a comic watching a comic. | ||
| You're like, ah, this is all bullshit. | ||
| You've got to get all that out. | ||
| This is what you're trying to say. | ||
| You're trying to say this and go straight to that. | ||
| And that's something that even if I can't tell you how to do stand-up, Because everybody's different. | ||
| You know, you got your William Montgomery's, you got your David Lucas's, and then you got your Neil Brennan's, and then you got your Sebastian's. | ||
| Everybody's got a different style. | ||
| But there's one thing, is like, get to the fucking point. | ||
| The economy of words seems to be one of those core principles that you can kind of apply to almost everybody's act. | ||
| When you got a lot of bunch of nonsensical shit that you could explain far quicker, you're taxing people's attention span. | ||
| The only reason why they're listening is because they've entrusted in you that you're going to be funny or interesting. | ||
| You know how to do this. | ||
| Yeah, funny or interesting. | ||
| And I think that's why it's cool to see Louis C.K. working it out because you could tell the bits that he's been doing that were monsters. | ||
| And, you know, it was a shit sandwich. | ||
| So it was great in the beginning, great at the end. | ||
| In the middle, you could tell that was his new shit. | ||
| It was cool to see him try and fit at his level. | ||
| Won a Grammy! | ||
| Yep. | ||
| For best fucking comic book 2021. Won a Grammy while being cancelled in the fucking middle of the storm. | ||
| That's how good he is at stand-up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Won a fucking Grammy, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And not only that, I think he won a Grammy for the one that's not as good as the newer one. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| I think that one, Sincerely, Louis C.K., is great. | ||
| It's very funny. | ||
| But then Sorry is even better. | ||
| Even better. | ||
| Even better. | ||
| So it was cool to see. | ||
| I hope he wins two years in a row. | ||
| Me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about that? | |
| Probably well. | ||
| After seeing his shit, it's cool to see at his level, this guy's been doing it forever, to see him a little chunky, a little clunky in the middle, and then comes back and, you know, he says what's up, and he's cool, he's super polite, but then he's on his notepad. | ||
| He's writing, writing notes, writing notes, writing notes. | ||
| Then we see him at the late show. | ||
| Slowly tightening it up. | ||
| There's no other way to do it, man. | ||
| Everybody goes through the same... | ||
| Whether you're Joe Rogan, Louis C.K., Kevin Hart, or an open-miker, this is the process. | ||
| I got a new bit. | ||
| I'll tell you about it after the show. | ||
| But on Tuesday, it killed. | ||
| And on Wednesday, it sucked. | ||
| Last night did? | ||
| It's just, I'll tell you about it later. | ||
| I'll tell you about it later. | ||
| I don't want to talk about it. | ||
| Dude, I had to go out of the room, you know, I haven't seen him do Stamp in a while, and the crowd was going fucking ape shit. | ||
| You know, I like the bullshit, because I haven't seen Tony and the guys in a while. | ||
| So I was bullshitting, and then I'm like, ah, fuck, I see Josette, and I go out there, and that place was fucking... | ||
| I texted you last night, I'm like, dude! | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna... | ||
| You're fucking rocking! | ||
| I'm getting ready to film something. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out when, but I feel like I gotta let this baby out of my pussy. | ||
| I've been all... | ||
| I've been holding on to this comedy baby for too long. | ||
| For you too, it's like there's so many eyeballs on you, good or bad. | ||
| Yeah, but I have freedom. | ||
| No, I'm with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't matter. | |
| It's okay. | ||
| I can show people how to live with eyeballs on you. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| You're built for the job. | ||
| There's a reason you're built like that, dude. | ||
| So you're going to have so many eyeballs on it, and then the material is so fucking good, it just shoves it down their throat even more. | ||
| Because if it was bad, all right, this is a nightmare. | ||
| I'm leaning into it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's also like the enthusiasm of the people that are coming to see the shows is amazing. | ||
| I just feel... | ||
| I'm just super lucky. | ||
| I'm very fortunate, you know, in a lot of ways, man. | ||
| Very fortunate? | ||
| Super happy. | ||
| Yep, but you also work very hard, dude. | ||
| Don't, you know, don't take that away from me. | ||
| I don't work too hard. | ||
| I work hard enough. | ||
| I gotta balance an act that I'm doing. | ||
| I'm trying to do the Miyamoto Musashi thing has applied to comedy and obsession. | ||
| Like, I give myself... | ||
| This is what I think... | ||
| If I was going to give advice to anybody who's obsessed with comedy... | ||
| I could use this advice to have a problem. | ||
| Have another thing that you're also obsessed with. | ||
| Give yourself one more thing that's a secondary thing. | ||
| Like you got your A thing, that's your career, but you should have a B thing. | ||
| So if you bomb and you're still good at the B thing, you could still be okay. | ||
| You know there's a process. | ||
| You're not going to jump off the cliff. | ||
| If your whole life, yeah, it's like one of the things that is a problem with fighters is that their whole life is fighting. | ||
| So a loss is insanely devastating. | ||
| I don't have to tell you this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And in order to gain back your feeling of, like, identity, you have to go fuck somebody else up. | ||
| Because that's all you're known for. | ||
| You're only associated with that, and if your last time out was a loss... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, when I say the valleys are low, I've ate... | ||
| Dick on a stage before, dude. | ||
| It just, you know, it happens to everybody. | ||
| I've ate dick many of times at the Comedy Store or the Improver Laugh Factory. | ||
| I've ate all the fucking cocks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And don't get me wrong, it sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I can go across town and do another show and redeem myself or figure it out or go up the next night. | ||
| But the lows in fighting are so low. | ||
| It's so devastating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if there's anything, maybe losing Super Bowl, throwing an interception in the fourth quarter. | ||
| I don't think so, because there's other people involved with you. | ||
| They're sharing it with you. | ||
| The peaks and the valleys, there's no in-between. | ||
| It's like, you win, it's, dude, oh my god. | ||
| I remember when I knocked out Chris Tushesher, he was 20-1, Brock Lesnar's training partner, and I knocked him out in, whatever, a minute and seven seconds. | ||
| I remember getting to the back and just getting on my hands and knees and crying, being so happy that I didn't get hurt and I got a win, and I was moving on to the next step, whatever that is. | ||
| It was Gabriel Gonzaga. | ||
| I was... | ||
| I was so relieved, man. | ||
| And I was so relieved I didn't let my teammates down and my training partners. | ||
| And there's so many moving pieces that go into it. | ||
| It's just so much more than the fighter. | ||
| And I was so relieved that, you know, I'm going to get my win bonus and be able to pay them more. | ||
| Can they have families and kids? | ||
| Like, people don't think about all the stuff that's affected with that. | ||
| And then the valley is... | ||
| So low, man. | ||
| I get emotional talking about it. | ||
| It's so fucking low, dude. | ||
| So when those guys lose at that level, there's nothing like it, man. | ||
| And I do think that's helped me out so much in comedy. | ||
| In stand-up, you know, because it can get dark, you know, especially for a guy like me coming to comedy, looking the way I do, you know, being my size and being this weird oddball in this comedy world, which is filled with oddballs already, but I'm even fucking weirder. | ||
| That's the thing, that's what bothers me, is like, I am accustomed to being around savages, right? | ||
| I'm accustomed to being around guys like you and fighters and From all the years of working with the UFC and all my years of martial arts, it's normal to me. | ||
| And thank God, man. | ||
| Thank God, dude. | ||
| I wouldn't have a career brother. | ||
| Thank God, dude. | ||
| Thank God you were like, yeah, I know he looks fucking weird, dude. | ||
| I know he doesn't look like us. | ||
| Give him a shot, man. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| Give him a fucking shot. | ||
| And you're a super nice guy, man. | ||
| The thing is, like, there's some mean, shitty people out there. | ||
| You're not one of them. | ||
| You're a super nice guy. | ||
| And so when people are mean to you, I'm like, man, there's people to be mean to. | ||
| You want to make fun of them. | ||
| Like, he makes fun of himself. | ||
| Make fun of everybody. | ||
| Trust me, you can't say anything that I don't think of myself already. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Make fun of everybody. | |
| That stuff doesn't bother me. | ||
| But here's the thing, Jeff. | ||
| I was built for this. | ||
| That doesn't affect me, dude. | ||
| Yes, I know. | ||
| Coming from football and fighting? | ||
| The darkness of losses and fighting. | ||
| They don't understand that. | ||
| There's no lower. | ||
| No, there's no lower. | ||
| You're going to tweet at me? | ||
| There's so many fighters that are fighting. | ||
| I got knocked out in Brazil. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I think I was there for that one. | ||
| Dude, hold on. | ||
| Was I there for that one? | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah, it was the first time they used to win Brazil in fucking I don't know how long. | ||
| It was the co-main event against Noel Garrett. | ||
| It's like fighting. | ||
| Who was the main event? | ||
| Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin. | ||
| Dude, it's like fighting Michael Jordan. | ||
| I don't know if I was there for that. | ||
| It's like fighting Michael Jordan in Chicago. | ||
| Everybody hated me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| My family flew out there. | ||
| I got paid 16 and 16 to fight Noguera, who I was supposed to starch, dude. | ||
| And, you know, you're getting a lot of shit for that, so it's like... | ||
| You were never supposed to starch Noguera. | ||
| I was a heavy favorite, dude. | ||
| But whoever's talking to you like that... | ||
| Oh, no, I'm just... | ||
| As far as the odd makers go. | ||
| He wasn't that old then. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| In Brazil? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would have warned you heavily about that. | |
| I could have used that. | ||
| Yeah, I wish I was there in your corner. | ||
| I would have said, patience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would have said, you can't rush in on this motherfucker. | ||
| And I rocked him with an uppercut. | ||
| He's one of the most durable guys that's ever existed. | ||
| Yeah, he could have told me that. | ||
| This guy ran over by a truck when he was a kid. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's why he has that big scar. | ||
| That guy in the Bob Sapp fight. | ||
| When Bob Sapp fucking pile-drived him, dude. | ||
| Broke his neck. | ||
| Yeah, his neck was fucked. | ||
| He's never been the same. | ||
| Never been the same. | ||
| Nice guy in the world. | ||
| We were talking about this on the BJ podcast. | ||
| Was that before or after the Fedor fights? | ||
| I don't think we ever resolved that. | ||
| No, Garrett Bob Sapp? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was before the Fedors. | ||
| Was it before the Fedor fights? | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| Because Bob Sapp was 375 with abs. | ||
| I mean, he really was. | ||
| All natural. | ||
| Yeah, 100% from Earth. | ||
| It's completely normal. | ||
| Stuff from Earth. | ||
| Dude, he's... | ||
| Natural Lotus from Earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he fought the whole, legit, the whole 50. It's from Earth. | |
| He was so big. | ||
| He was the greatest physical presence that the combat sports world has ever known. | ||
| Didn't have it here. | ||
| Bob Sapp in his prime. | ||
| Didn't have it here. | ||
| He beat Ernesto, who's twice. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a big deal, man, even though... | ||
| It was the Hulk versus Captain America. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It was. | ||
| Cro Cop flatlined him. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Cro Cop broke his eyeball. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How about when I fought Cro Cop in the back? | ||
| I was watching Cro Cop's old highlights. | ||
| No! | ||
| I'm glad you watched those. | ||
| Dude, I'm savage. | ||
| I needed that, and I wish I had done the same process for the Noguera fight. | ||
| I was like, hey, he's the old Noguera. | ||
| I'm a starchist in Brazil. | ||
| But for Cro Cop, I was so amped up for that because I went into that fight watching all his old highlights because I was expecting that version. | ||
| So you'll see I'm super focused in that fight. | ||
| Ready to go, man. | ||
| And I had a fucking war on my hands. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Noguera, you know, somewhere along the lines after knocking out Krokop, all the press and media and being on covers of magazines, as a young kid, I got super cocky and I paid for it. | ||
| But again, I wouldn't change anything. | ||
| But when you talk about the valleys of fighting and just life, when, you know, you fought on a Saturday and most people go home on a Sunday... | ||
| I was so sure I was gonna starch no gear in Brazil, I flew my family friends out, and we stayed another seven days. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| So I'm there with a black guy I concussed, walking around fucking Rio de Janeiro with my family, dude. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| After getting knocked out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| On pay-per-view. | ||
| I'm sure a lot of people saw it too. | ||
| On Brazil? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, all of Brazil saw it. | ||
| All of Brazil. | ||
| So you're walking through, dude. | ||
| But they were so grateful. | ||
| They were so nice to me, man. | ||
| Imagine if you were Chael Sonnen. | ||
| I know, dude. | ||
| Or Conor. | ||
| When Conor talks shit about Brazil. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But again, all that stuff. | ||
| Colby. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Who's talked more shit than Colby? | ||
| We'll get there, dude. | ||
| Roman for Beast over Doom hit it with a boomerang. | ||
| A boomerang. | ||
| But dude, going through that shit, it's like I have this armor on me, man. | ||
| They got me ready for comedy. | ||
| So, you know, I'm like a fucking racehorse. | ||
| I'm like this, Joe. | ||
| All this stuff. | ||
| I don't see any of you. | ||
| I post in Ghost, and I tell my team, like, only let me know the positive stuff. | ||
| Life is too good, man. | ||
| Things are great, man. | ||
| I live in the real world, too. | ||
| It's like when you were going through all your shit... | ||
| You know, you're on every fucking headline and all that stuff. | ||
| I realized how much bullshit it is online. | ||
| It really opened my eyes. | ||
| It helped me out, to be honest. | ||
| Because I realized how much bullshit all that media is. | ||
| And it's not real, dude. | ||
| Because they need clicks. | ||
| And they're getting clicks. | ||
| Now that Trump's out, they need clicks off you. | ||
| And I realized it's so much... | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| And I get calls from friends and family because they know we're close. | ||
| Like, dude, your buddy Joe, you believe this? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Did you read the article? | ||
| Do you know the guy? | ||
| Like, close family, dude. | ||
| Like, there's nobody in my life that has done more for me than Joe Rogan. | ||
| And you're reading this fucking article? | ||
| I'm telling you! | ||
| And I go, do you trust me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm fucking telling you, man. | ||
| They couldn't be more off. | ||
| But then when I would go, you know, every morning I'd go to the same coffee shop or I'd, you know, go get my foods and I would have interactions with people. | ||
| That wasn't the same narrative. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| People were like, dude, how about Joe? | ||
| You know, he's this, this, this. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're like, dude, you believe this bullshit, man? | ||
| Can you believe? | ||
| That's what the majority of people do. | ||
| The real people. | ||
| The benefit of having a podcast is the people that know you. | ||
| They know you. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| They don't know you like you can't hide. | ||
| That's who you are with everything you say, everything you do. | ||
| That's who you are. | ||
| For good or bad. | ||
| The thing that's different between podcasts... | ||
| And anything where you're on a network is that someone else, even if you fuck up and say stupid shit like Whoopi Goldberg and they suspend you, but you only get there if you get chosen. | ||
| There's a way that you can do it where you have to, like, there's commercials, you have to get everything in in seven minutes, and then there's the next commercial, and you're dealing with a lot of fucking filters. | ||
| A lot of variables. | ||
| So if you get in trouble, they don't really know what you're like. | ||
| Like, what is she like when the camera's off? | ||
| Is that a professional way of talking? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| What is that professional way of talking? | ||
| When someone's like, okay, so, what we learned today in a poll is that 54% of Americans don't believe that Joe Biden, like, really? | ||
| Who talks like that? | ||
| Yeah, what is this? | ||
| What is that, right? | ||
| So that thing doesn't resonate with people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because if you were in a room with her, and it was just you and her, and she was talking like that, that would be crazy. | ||
| Like, why are you talking like this? | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| But it's accepted that you talk like that on television, on these shows. | ||
| And then the thing becomes the only way to get any attention is to argue. | ||
| So everybody's arguing. | ||
| Especially on that show. | ||
| And they're talking over each other. | ||
| Yeah, it's a nightmare. | ||
| Nobody has good views. | ||
| That doesn't work with people. | ||
| It doesn't feel right. | ||
| Not the masses. | ||
| It might work with some of those dummies out there. | ||
| But in general, you've got to remember... | ||
| I learned early on that social media is not real. | ||
| I go on the road, I talk to real people. | ||
| I see them. | ||
| The meet and greets. | ||
| I see these people. | ||
| Social media represents a population of people that are expressing themselves in a limited format. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| It's a format that's only text and you don't experience social cues. | ||
| You say things that you might, you know, maybe you're a little drunk or maybe you're angry or maybe you feel sad, whatever. | ||
| And you say things that are mean. | ||
| And that's a feeling that you have in that moment. | ||
| The problem is that then it's documented. | ||
| And then maybe you don't even feel that way 20 minutes later. | ||
| But you sure as fuck wouldn't say that to Whoopi Goldberg's face. | ||
| If you saw it on the street, you wouldn't be like, Whoopi! | ||
| Yeah, you'd be... | ||
| Never! | ||
| Humans don't act like that. | ||
| It would be horrible if you did that. | ||
| But people feel so comfortable with doing that online. | ||
| So people feel comfortable with communicating online in a way they would never in person. | ||
| I just don't think that's good. | ||
| The only time it's good is when maybe you have information, especially if you're living under some horrible government, and you have information that needs to be distributed and you need to be anonymous. | ||
| But other than that, I feel like We're all moving in a general direction of just trying to have a better society and a better life. | ||
| And it applies to everything we do. | ||
| But the movement would show, you know, you look at a lot of celebrities where Whether they're actors, comedians, a lot of them aren't engaged in social media anymore. | ||
| They're going, that's just not good for me, man. | ||
| But that's the difference between podcasts and people that act, right? | ||
| Of course you're going to engage in social media. | ||
| This is way more intimate than any social media will ever put out. | ||
| Like, having a conversation, just you and me hanging out. | ||
| Like, this is way more intimate than any social media, than anybody can ever put out. | ||
| It's also, you and I are so basically the only way we catch up, dude. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes, you know, we talk on the phone every week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We hung out last night. | |
| Yeah, I'm just saying, and we talk on the phone all the time, but I'm just saying, as far as three hours, like when Theo did your show, I call him, you know, he's all nervous, and he goes, man, I don't talk to my therapist for three hours, man. | ||
| He goes, shit, I don't talk to my mom for three hours. | ||
| He's the funniest guy in the world. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| The best. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| He's such an interesting dude because him and I are, and that's why the king of this thing in the wing works, we're so opposite where I'm like you. | ||
| I'm like a shark. | ||
| If I'm not moving, I go crazy, dude. | ||
| I have to be working. | ||
| Theo's the exact opposite. | ||
| He's like a sloth. | ||
| Where if you give him too much work, you're gonna break him. | ||
| So, hey dude, we have three King of the Stings this week. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| He likes doing his work and then taking breaks, man. | ||
| The guy goes on more vacations than anybody I know. | ||
| Yeah, I'm in Hawaii, bro. | ||
| But he's got a casual style of comedy. | ||
| I think it's probably good for him. | ||
| Again, for him, again, back to your, if you're gonna write about comics, if you wrote Theo's process, I don't know how many people are gonna be able to relate to it. | ||
| But for Theo, for Theo, there's no, dude, when him and Chris are going, dude, there's, I sit back. | ||
| Go to work, boys. | ||
| They're so fucking funny, man. | ||
| I'm the best job in the world. | ||
| Theo has one of the most unique senses of humor I've ever encountered. | ||
| But if you could get his process down, and if someone could talk about him from the beginning, the open mic days, to really developing new material, to who he is now, if someone could break that down like that, that'd be very valuable just to see his process. | ||
| For everybody. | ||
| His execution. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, good luck with that execution. | ||
| That's Theo Vaughn. | ||
| There's one Theo Vaughn. | ||
| There's one Theo Vaughn. | ||
| And his way of thinking. | ||
| He'll say stuff when we're on the phone. | ||
| Talk about business decisions. | ||
| He'll say stuff where you're like, what? | ||
| He can't help himself. | ||
| I just friend Toby, man. | ||
| You're like, no, no, no. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about Toby. | ||
| He got bit by a frog. | ||
| He got bit by a frog. | ||
| He turned gay, man. | ||
| He turned gay. | ||
| So my thing is... | ||
| Stay away from the frogs. | ||
| Alex Jones says them frogs is gay. | ||
| I'm talking about taxes right now. | ||
| He's so fucking unique. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| I remember the first time I saw him really kill at the Comedy Store. | ||
| I'd seen him around, and maybe I hadn't seen a full set, but I'd seen a few jokes, but I've been friendly with him. | ||
| And then one day I was in the back of the room, and he was just murdering. | ||
| He was so comfortable on stage. | ||
| He was so relaxed. | ||
| He was himself. | ||
| He was himself. | ||
| Because remember, people forget Theo came off Road Rules. | ||
| That's where people knew Theo from Road Rules doing MTV and all that shit. | ||
| So he had that stigma on him. | ||
| So Theo came out of that shell. | ||
| Maybe it was David Spade. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Him and David are really close. | ||
| And David was like, Theo took off once he started being himself on stage. | ||
| Because in person, he's the funniest fucking person. | ||
| Most unique person. | ||
| He's a fucking alien with a mullet, dude, and a big ass. | ||
| Like, he's so fucking funny. | ||
| But that wasn't correlating on stage. | ||
| Well, it wasn't developed yet. | ||
| It's like, you know, you start off as a white belt. | ||
| It's just what it is. | ||
| You know, he just hadn't figured it out yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he was doing jiu-jitsu. | |
| He is? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think he had Chandler's gym in Nashville. | ||
| Shout out to Chandler. | ||
| And he'll call me and be like, man, this fucking... | ||
| He just can't help me. | ||
| He's just so funny. | ||
| He'll be like, man, this fucking big bitch fucking Sherry, man, fucking tweaked my arm, dude. | ||
| I don't know if I'm going back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know if I'm going back. | ||
| He goes, I don't know if I'm going back, man. | ||
| I'm going to rest on a few days. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| And you're just like, but he's dead serious. | ||
| Some woman arm part of him. | ||
| Bro, women who are really good, they love fucking dudes up. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's their favorite, man. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They love fucking dudes up. | ||
| Dude, but yeah, fuck it. | ||
| He can't help it, man. | ||
| And they'll be like, I'm a fucking two-stripe white belt, man. | ||
| Give him this hard scarf. | ||
| Fucking hard scarf. | ||
| He's so fucking funny. | ||
| He's a perfect example of how there's no blueprint to follow for comedy. | ||
| It's not possible. | ||
| No. | ||
| Everybody's different, man. | ||
| Especially that guy. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| But I get a lot of advice from Theo, too, because remember, he had that stigma on him. | ||
| They came from the real world, and he wasn't a comic, and he was this hack. | ||
| So same thing, coming from the UFC, it takes a while, man. | ||
| It takes a while, but the thing is, if you're coming straight from the UFC, or straight from a reality show, you're an open-miker with too much attention. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And you really are an open-miker. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| The boldest motherfucker that ever lived is Charlie Murphy. | ||
| Because Charlie Murphy was doing headline sets right after he got into comedy. | ||
| Also with you. | ||
| Well, he did those. | ||
| A few years later, though, but still. | ||
| That was a couple years in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still. | |
| But still. | ||
| Beastie. | ||
| Bold. | ||
| Very bold. | ||
| Dude, think about having a fucking Showtime special when you're two years in, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Yeah, very bold. | ||
| It's big balls, dude. | ||
| At least Charlie didn't film his shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| True. | ||
| But he- Some say I have bigger balls. | ||
| He had this opportunity, and there's only one way to do it. | ||
| You've got to learn on the job. | ||
| There's no other way to do it. | ||
| There's no other way. | ||
| You gotta learn on stage, man. | ||
| You need a lot of dick. | ||
| But the problem is, you can't do that in a large crowd. | ||
| You don't learn in a large crowd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Large crowds are not intimate. | ||
| They're not forgiving. | ||
| Like, did you see that TI thing in Brooklyn? | ||
| T.I. did stand-up and he was bombing? | ||
| You know, he's bombed a bunch. | ||
| I've only seen him bomb once. | ||
| I was looking at the crowd. | ||
| It was too many people. | ||
| I'm like, bro. | ||
| And he'll say, who am I to tell anybody not to do stand-up? | ||
| I don't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| I'm not going to judge that guy. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| I don't judge anybody. | ||
| I hate nobody. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Do whatever you want to do, dude. | ||
| But with him, you know, David Lucas knows him, and David did a roast with him, lit him the fuck up. | ||
| So him and David attacks. | ||
| I said, you know what would go a long way for him? | ||
| And I said, and this comes from a guy like me, and I'm not T.I. T.I. goes, I'm not a comedian, I'm a superstar. | ||
| Ditch that. | ||
| What you should do, and I even told Emily this at the store. | ||
| You gotta humble yourself. | ||
| I told Emily, I said, I know I'm headlining, selling out shows, I go, I'll work the fucking potluck, Emily. | ||
| I'll come there, I'll work the door. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what it takes for you to give me stage time at OR. I don't give a fuck, man. | ||
| I'll do the trash, whatever you want, man. | ||
| Whatever it takes, you let me know. | ||
| Let me know. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| I'll fucking scrub the floors for five minutes in the fucking OR at Potluck. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| You gotta humble yourself. | ||
| If you're coming into it with already a built-in kind of fan base, and for him it's like, obviously he's a massive star, has some hits, right? | ||
| Back in the day, had some hits. | ||
| But then he's coming in and Not only is he coming in like the laugh factor in a comedy store, which is a whole other issue, but he's coming in there and he's bumping guys and running the light. | ||
| So I think for him, he doesn't have anybody in his crew that knows comedy. | ||
| If someone would come and go, hey dude, it's fine, you're playing here, don't run the light, dude. | ||
| So he just shows up and goes on stage? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| They live on stage. | ||
| And then I'll do like 30 minutes. | ||
| But again, do you, man. | ||
| It takes a lot of balls to do it. | ||
| All the respect to you. | ||
| But don't run the light. | ||
| Because here's the thing. | ||
| When you run the light, that other comic, you're taking away from his time. | ||
| Or the crowd gets tired. | ||
| Or you ate shit. | ||
| If he's bumping the show, he's probably just doing whatever he wants anyway. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So it's like someone, you know, obviously his security guards and all of them don't know how comedy works. | ||
| I told David, just let him know, like, these are the inside baseball rules, where we're not going to hate him as much. | ||
| Just let him know the rules. | ||
| And then if he knows the rules and still does it, then he's just an asshole. | ||
| But I don't think he knows the rules. | ||
| And that's an issue. | ||
| Well, he probably doesn't think the rules apply because he's a famous person. | ||
| Oh, they do, Bubba. | ||
| Trust me, they do. | ||
| Well, if you want to do it right, they should. | ||
| If you want to learn, you know, jujitsu, you've got to start as a white belt. | ||
| Don't think because you're famous, all of a sudden you're going to be a purple belt. | ||
| No, you're going to do a white belt in the gi. | ||
| You're going to be able to step into sparring class and do well. | ||
| You're not going to do well. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| It's not that much different than going on stage and trying to do jokes when you're kind of just starting out. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| Despite your success in another discipline, you have to treat it like you're a beginner, because you are. | ||
| And the only way the other people that are doing it are going to respect you is if you do treat it like you're a beginner. | ||
| And put the work in. | ||
| That's how you get the respect from your peers. | ||
| You've got to put the work in, man. | ||
| Because when they see you just going up in these big shows, they're like, get the fuck out of here, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, doesn't Blake Griffin do stand-up and isn't he good? | ||
| You know, I wouldn't say he does. | ||
| Barely talks about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He'll do the roast stuff like that. | ||
| I heard he's fucking funny. | ||
| He's funny, dude. | ||
| Me and you were with him at the improv when he's getting ready to do the roast. | ||
| He'll do the roast. | ||
| He's a funny guy. | ||
| He also has, whatever, $600 million in the bank and all these properties. | ||
| So, you know, I don't think he's running sets at the ha-ha. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, he's just doing his thing. | ||
| But the point is he's low-key about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's not bumping people. | ||
| He'll take what he can get. | ||
| He's a humble guy. | ||
| I mean, you don't have to, but there's so many clubs. | ||
| All you have to do is make a phone call and set up your own show. | ||
| You want to run an hour or whatever you want to do, set up your own show. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| There's a lot of clubs. | ||
| A ton of clubs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just so many clubs. | |
| And they want butts in seats, man. | ||
| And that's really the best way to do it anyway. | ||
| The best way to do it anyway is, like, have all the time in the world, you know? | ||
| Have some subjects you want to cover. | ||
| If these people are willing to go along with you in this process of you learning how to do stand-up, you can do that. | ||
| They'll all come to see you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| Do it that way. | ||
| And they'll watch you grow and mature. | ||
| Yeah, do it that way. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| But those giant shows? | ||
| Giant shows that they're not there for you? | ||
| Like, I think he was doing like a fucking rap concert and got up there. | ||
| It's like, bro. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| It was some bullshit. | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| I thought it was a big comedy show. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I know he did one that was very suspect. | ||
| I'm like, dude, again, the team around, he's like, hey, man, these aren't good parameters for stand-up comedy. | ||
| Yeah, but could you imagine telling an artist... | ||
| Fucking DaBaby was on before you, man. | ||
| I don't know what it was, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It's bullshit. | ||
| Imagine telling those artists what they can and can't do. | ||
| I mean, they're successful in a crazy business, you know? | ||
| In comedy, I can. | ||
| Yeah, in comedy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, hold on, hold on. | ||
| You know, whatever comedy... | ||
| You know Bill Burr's on at 10, motherfucker. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's 940. Right. | ||
| You better be off by fucking 10. Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because you bump him? | ||
| Dude, what are you doing? | ||
| Well, that's a thing that guys used to do back in the day. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It was who could bump who. | ||
| Such a flex. | ||
| Guys would enjoy bumping people. | ||
| And they would show up and try to go on right before. | ||
| Someone had a girl with them, like, you're going to see me, baby. | ||
| My name's on the marquee. | ||
| And they would bump right in front of them and go in front of them and do a long set. | ||
| I got bumped at the comedy store in the belly room. | ||
| They wouldn't tell me who. | ||
| And then me and Jim Gafkin were DMing each other back and forth. | ||
| I love Jim. | ||
| He's the nice guy ever. | ||
| And then I'm like, they're like, K, do you mind? | ||
| We know you're supposed to go on at 10. Can you do 10.30 now? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Whatever you want. | ||
| Literally, we'll do whatever they want at the comedy store. | ||
| I have no business being there. | ||
| And then I'm standing there just watching. | ||
| I feel a large presence over my shoulder here. | ||
| Hello, Instagram friend. | ||
| And I turn around, it's fucking Jim Gaffigan. | ||
| Oh, I got a bump for you. | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| He goes up and crushes. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| He's very funny. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Hello, Instagram friend. | ||
| Hello, Instagram friend. | ||
| That's very funny. | ||
| You bump each other? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, yeah, do whatever the fuck you want, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he deserves a certain position in comedy. | ||
| But all those people that bump and don't deserve it, they haven't earned that. | ||
| It's a tricky thing among comics. | ||
| I never did it. | ||
| I'm not a bumper. | ||
| I would just call in. | ||
| Nor should you be. | ||
| Yeah, you shouldn't be a bumper. | ||
| But even at the highest level, you're talking about now how you've never done it. | ||
| Kevin Hart doesn't really bump. | ||
| Kevin Hart doesn't do it, but even at the highest level, Dave Chappelle, my first time ever headlining at the Comedy Store, I couldn't figure out why they asked me to headline at the Belly Room. | ||
| I'm like, really? | ||
| I'm only two years, what? | ||
| And Emily goes, yeah, if you want to do Belly Room Wednesday night, 8 p.m., I'm like, Yeah, say less. | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'll do it. | ||
| So I'm all excited. | ||
| I get down there. | ||
| The whole time, I'm like, I wonder why they're asking me to do it. | ||
| There's so many comics. | ||
| Well, at the time, it was game six of the World Series of the Dodgers. | ||
| So there's nobody around, dude. | ||
| And so I'm back there, and there's like, I don't know, fucking seven tickets sold. | ||
| I felt like I was such a loser. | ||
| And I'm in the back and Dave Chappelle walks in. | ||
| And Dave walks in and goes, hey man, you mind if I go on? | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| He goes, you mind if I go on? | ||
| I go, whatever you want to do, man. | ||
| And he was getting ready for something special at the time. | ||
| So seven people? | ||
| No shit, Joe. | ||
| Not even exactly. | ||
| Let's say 14. It's the game six of the World Series, and the Dodgers are in it. | ||
| Nobody's around. | ||
| Dave goes up there, and I go, whatever you want to do, man. | ||
| Do you mind if I go first, though? | ||
| He goes, whatever, man, whatever. | ||
| So I go up, you know, do my thing, and then he goes up. | ||
| He does an hour, I don't know, hour and a half for these 14 people. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Annihilated! | ||
| Like it was Mass Square Garden. | ||
| Annihilated! | ||
|
unidentified
|
14 people? | |
| 14 people. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And then comes back and I talked to him, I don't know, probably 45 minutes just me and him. | ||
| But what bummed me out, it's not his fault, but he wanted to talk about fighting. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, he probably wanted to relate to you. | ||
| Yeah, and I wanted to talk to him about comedy, so it's triggering for both, right? | ||
| It's because he's probably like, dude, I don't want to talk about it. | ||
| All anybody talks about is comedy. | ||
| I'd like to talk about fighting. | ||
| All I want to talk about is comedy. | ||
| He wants to talk about fighting. | ||
| So we have this back and forth. | ||
| And he was vaping. | ||
| He goes, my doctor said these are actually better for you. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| Fucking Google it, dude. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| He goes, really? | ||
| No, he fucking threw in the trash. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was great, though, man. | ||
| He was so nice to me, man. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| He goes so long, dude. | ||
| Dave's a sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| He's just a real artist. | ||
| He listens to the same Nina Simone song. | ||
| He listened to the same Nina Simone song. | ||
| Six, seven times in a row once before we did a show at Stubbs in Austin. | ||
| He just kept playing it on YouTube. | ||
| And so he had like the video of Nina Simone singing it, and he would play it just over the Bluetooth speaker sometimes. | ||
| He just like this one song he became obsessed with. | ||
| And it was having these shows with him. | ||
| It's like seeing what he is. | ||
| He's an artist. | ||
| You know, this is his canvas. | ||
| His canvas is talking shit. | ||
| One of the best to ever do it, man. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| For me, there's like these milestones. | ||
| Like that, you know, 14 people, I'm bummed the fuck out, and then Chappelle rolls in. | ||
| You know, it's like, you know, you're getting a fucking master's in, you know, stand-up watching from this guy, and you're watching. | ||
| He's giving you tips and stuff like that, even though I had to give him some fight information. | ||
| I think at the time, I had to break down Conor versus fucking Eddie Alvarez or some shit. | ||
| Dude, I gotta pee so bad. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I outlasted you on the piss game? | ||
| I drank too much water this morning. | ||
| This is a first, brother. | ||
| First. | ||
| We're gonna come back. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| And we're back. | ||
| That's a first, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tap out every now and then. | ||
| The thing is, man, if I work out or if I get in the sauna in particular, I tend to overdrink after the sauna. | ||
| It's a real problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, like water. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't mean alcohol. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I can. | ||
| No, but after the sauna, you know, you fucking sweat your ass off for 25 minutes and you want to drink as much water as possible. | ||
| But then it's like an hour and a half after that. | ||
| Since I got into stand-up, dude, I just drink these days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| Only drinking. | ||
| But you look thin. | ||
| Yeah, dude, yeah. | ||
| Keep your body optimized. | ||
| Oh, dude, I'm at the best shape I've been in I don't know how long. | ||
| Like, even if you watch the special, which dropped today, hashtag the gringo poppy on YouTube, Thickboy YouTube. | ||
| The gringo poppy. | ||
| The gringo poppy. | ||
| I just light my Latin family up for 30 minutes. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My girl saw it, though. | ||
| She's fine with it. | ||
| But if you watch that special, I was not on Carnivore. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And I'm the definition of thick. | ||
| I hate this part. | ||
| You know this. | ||
| You're the same. | ||
| You've got to go through the edits and cut this. | ||
| And I'm like, fuck, dude. | ||
| How did I not go on a diet for this fucking special? | ||
| What was I thinking? | ||
| You don't see yourself the way other people see you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I see, I'm like, oh my God. | ||
| But then it's like, all right, well, at least I was thick. | ||
| My brand's thick, boy. | ||
| So I keep getting skinny. | ||
| I'm fucked, dude. | ||
| There's a fine line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I do those. | ||
| But also what got me into carnivore was talking to you doing it and how great you felt. | ||
| I'm like, really? | ||
| And I, you know, I'm always down for something. | ||
| I've done every, you name it, I've done it. | ||
| Vegan, keto, you've always done it. | ||
| But I started doing those tough mutters. | ||
| And I was like, if I'm going to run a 15K marathon with all this shit, I need to lose some weight. | ||
| So I started doing carnivore. | ||
| I dropped a bunch of weight. | ||
| And I figured once I get done with the Tough Mudder, I'll just eat all the carbs and fuck the diet. | ||
| I felt so good. | ||
| I got done with the Tough Mudder and was like... | ||
| I'm just going to keep going. | ||
| Let's see how long I can go. | ||
| And then, you know, here we are. | ||
| And then I've done two Tough Mudders since then. | ||
| They call them Thick Mudders now. | ||
| People sign up, do the Thick Mudders with me. | ||
| It's me and all these fucking Thickies. | ||
| Some people, dude, some people will get there. | ||
| I'm like, really? | ||
| Really? | ||
| You think you're going to do this? | ||
| And they do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Mitch Rohn did the last one with me. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Dude. | ||
| So I flew in for the fight campaign. | ||
| And he goes, you're doing a Tough Mudder tomorrow? | ||
| I go, yeah, man. | ||
| It's the Thick Mudder. | ||
| If you want to sign up, let me know. | ||
| I go, you know, I'm leaving at 9 if you want to ride. | ||
| He goes, fuck out, dude. | ||
| This will be fun. | ||
| I go, right, right. | ||
| You know it's 15K, though, dude. | ||
| So it's like right around 9 miles. | ||
| But it's like obstacles and shit. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, it's like mud. | ||
| You get electrocuted. | ||
| You get climb shit. | ||
| Like, it's pretty tough, man. | ||
| He goes, no, I'll do it with you. | ||
| I go, yeah, sure. | ||
| Have you been running, though? | ||
| He goes, oh, fuck, dude. | ||
| I haven't ran in, like, eight years. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It's going to be tough, dude. | ||
| He goes, no, it'll be fun. | ||
| I go, yeah, it'll be fun. | ||
| We start going. | ||
| Dude, shout out to Mitchell for even trying it. | ||
| But 30 minutes? | ||
| And then I turn around. | ||
| I'm like, where the fuck's Matt? | ||
| And some of the guys running with me in the thick mud are like, oh, he told me to tell you that. | ||
| He'll see you at the finish line. | ||
| And he's like, dude, I just can't. | ||
| My legs were given out. | ||
| You can't do a fucking nine-mile Tough Mudder if you don't work out at all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| They're so fun, man. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Oh, they're fun. | ||
| Now, when you do that, how long does it take to do nine miles? | ||
| With the courses and everything, dude. | ||
| The electrocution sucks. | ||
| I know Tough Mudder likes it, but I fucking hate it. | ||
| Why do they like it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess it's good for Instagram, social media, but I fucking... | ||
| Tough Mudder, I can't explain this enough. | ||
| I hate it, dude. | ||
| And when do you get electrocuted? | ||
| There's different parts. | ||
| So there's one part where you're running and then you stop for the fucking obstacle course and then it's just a fucking dugout hole of mud water and then hanging up above you is like tentacles, like wires. | ||
| If you touch them, you get electrocuted. | ||
| So you gotta be smart and navigate your way through it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Let me see this. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Those are electrocutors? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They hurt so bad. | ||
| Oh my god, that dude just dove through. | ||
| Yeah, that dude is me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at you. | |
| I can't even tell your face. | ||
| You're also covered in mud. | ||
| I can't even recognize you. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Bro. | ||
| I blew off both hamstrings. | ||
| Oh no, did you really? | ||
| Yeah, Chappelle did it. | ||
| Chappelle, my brother, did it and they finish in five hours. | ||
| Which is dead last. | ||
| But they finished, is the point. | ||
| They finished. | ||
| Five hours. | ||
| So now, because people want to run them with me, I think the next one's in July or August in Chicago. | ||
| That we just saw, show that again, what we just saw, going up that ramp. | ||
| Oh, where you gotta jump? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is fucking dangerous. | ||
| Gnarly. | ||
| Oh, some dude blew his kneecap, shattered his kneecap doing that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so fun, though, dude. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's more about... | ||
| It's not like, you know, you don't have to be fucking... | ||
| I tell people this all the time. | ||
| You don't have to be Lance Armstrong and do this. | ||
| It's more about, like, doing it together. | ||
| It's a team thing. | ||
| It's not about... | ||
| Why don't you guys just fuck? | ||
| Just get together and fuck. | ||
| All the guys? | ||
| I'd be down for that. | ||
| In the mud? | ||
| Doesn't that seem like what's happening here? | ||
| Let's kill each other and get eaten by vultures. | ||
| It's like the ultimate bro bonding. | ||
| Oh, dude, that's tear gas. | ||
| This one's tear gas. | ||
| You gotta go through it, hold your breath and eyes, and rush through with tear gas. | ||
| How long before women infiltrate your organization and start entering into these games? | ||
| Women have done it. | ||
| How many girls? | ||
| Maybe five, but some of the girls are badasses, dude. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| This stuff, I crushed. | ||
| The way you gotta climb and stuff, you know, I have good grip. | ||
| But the electrical shit, that's Mark Harley. | ||
| He ate shit on that. | ||
| That's freezing cold water. | ||
| It's so fun though, dude. | ||
| So who organizes this? | ||
| Who puts it together? | ||
| The first one I did... | ||
| Who builds the fucking holes and fills them with water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tough Mudder. | |
| Tough Mudder does it all. | ||
| They do them all over the world, dude. | ||
| So you had a conversation with them and said, I'd like to do one? | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| I've always wanted to do it since... | ||
| My goal is to do an Ironman. | ||
| All this starts with, I want to do an Ironman. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dr. Felder. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| You see what he's doing? | ||
| Yeah, he's a monster. | ||
| That motherfucker, he's like changed his body. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| So I just signed up for one, and then I asked my crew who wants to do it. | ||
| And, you know, Mark Harley and some other guys want to do it. | ||
| And then I'm there, and I'm taking pictures with everybody. | ||
| Like, I'm trying to get the finish line. | ||
| I'm just bombarding pictures, which is a good thing. | ||
| And then somebody from the Tough Mudder was like, hey, who are you? | ||
| And I'm like, you know, I do stand-up, and I used to fight, and blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Like, oh, cool. | ||
| And then I was like, hey, I'm going to do another one, because after I got done, I'm like, this is one of my best things I've ever done. | ||
| I was like, it'd be cool to have, like, my fans run with me. | ||
| I'll announce on the show, and we'll call it The Thick Mudder. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, let's do it. | ||
| And then now we're just doing Thick Mudders. | ||
| So when it's a Thick Mudder, it's only your fans that enter? | ||
| So how many people are allowed to enter? | ||
| It's unlimited, but last time 500 people ran with me. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| But the different heats. | ||
| That's a lot of people. | ||
| And then there's 15K and 5K. So who won it? | ||
| There's no winning. | ||
| Who got it the fastest? | ||
| There's some pros there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's some pros that... | ||
| So you just do it? | ||
| We just do it. | ||
| It's such a good time. | ||
| So it's like a participation trophy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Just finishing is the win. | ||
| Just getting finished and being electrocuted is the win. | ||
| Yeah, it's so much fun, dude. | ||
| I fucking love them, man. | ||
| And they do them in Austin, San Antonio, Chicago, fucking all over, dude. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's 24-hour ones. | ||
| 24-hour? | ||
| That's not for me. | ||
| So you can run them all throughout the night? | ||
| Yeah, it's called the World's Toughest Mudder. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| 24-hour obstacle course. | ||
| World's Toughest Mudder. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| 24 hours? | ||
| How many people lose use of their legs at the end of this? | ||
| I'd say all of them. | ||
| I feel like Cam Haynes would dominate this. | ||
| But my goal is to do adventure in Ironman. | ||
| That's why there's so many levels to this thing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They're talking, you know, they do the Moab 240. That's 238 miles. | ||
| That's like one of the longest ones. | ||
| I'm too big for that. | ||
| They're trying to think of doing a 500 mile one. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it's just too much. | ||
| I'm not into that. | ||
| This is a good time. | ||
| After three hours, even if you go slow, three hours, good time. | ||
| Three hours is a long fucking time, man. | ||
| It's a long time, dude. | ||
| It's a long time. | ||
| I'll tell you where I fucked up. | ||
| This is where I fucked up. | ||
| I did it in Lake Elsinore, which is, like, right outside Temeculia. | ||
| So I did it there, and then that night I was gonna do pop-up shows and surprise the fans for Chris D'Elia's show in the Laugh Factory San Diego. | ||
| So I do that Tough Mudder, and I was like, I'll be fine. | ||
| And I'm exhausted. | ||
| Dude, I drive to L.A., and my brother goes, you want me to drive? | ||
| No, I'm good. | ||
| I'm falling asleep at the wheel. | ||
| Finally, I wake up. | ||
| I have all this caffeine. | ||
| I get to the shows, and Chris goes, you look like shit. | ||
| He goes, you sure you're good? | ||
| I'm like, I'm good, dude. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Dude, you can't do it. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| You can't do a Tough Mudder. | ||
| Thank God I only did, whatever, 20 minutes. | ||
| If it was like two two-hour shows and meet and greets, your boy would have been fucked. | ||
| Yeah, you only have so much energy in your body. | ||
| You know what I think about all the time when I do meet and greets is when you used to do meet and greets with everybody after your giant theaters and just sit there for hours meeting people. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I think that all the time, whenever, you know, I'll do, what happened at 200 meet and greets? | ||
| And I go through 200 and I get another show, and I'm feeling sorry for myself. | ||
| I'm like, oh my God, because it's a lot of energy. | ||
| It's good, but it's a lot of energy. | ||
| Every time, I'm like, fucking Joey used to do this for free. | ||
| And just fucking hours after the show, dude. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Gangster. | ||
| Yeah, it just got too weird after a while. | ||
| It reached a threshold of fame that was unmanageable. | ||
| So you can't just meet everybody. | ||
| Can you imagine doing it now? | ||
| No, that's the problem. | ||
| And there was a point where I knew I had to stop doing it. | ||
| When did you know? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Just the engagement with the fans? | ||
| It was too much. | ||
| It got a little too frantic, a little too crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, we weren't doing it with security. | ||
| We were just using the local security at the venue. | ||
| And they're dicey. | ||
| Oftentimes they weren't paying attention at all. | ||
| Dude, I had a set in Kentucky, and these two guys in the front row. | ||
| Head to toe, thick boy gear. | ||
| Thick boy bike club hat, the fucking thick boy shirt, the pants. | ||
| Head to toe. | ||
| Wouldn't stop talking. | ||
| No, they're in the fucking... | ||
| They paid VIP. They're in the front row, dude. | ||
| I have this gay bit about being locked down with dudes. | ||
| How much better it'd be if I was locked down with my friends and we fucked each other. | ||
| And I start doing a gay bit in the middle of Kentucky. | ||
| Dude, these boys were not having it. | ||
| And he goes, now stop with the gay shit, man! | ||
| I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, dude. | ||
| And he keeps chirping. | ||
| And I go, hold up, dude. | ||
| So I have to stop at this point. | ||
| Now they both stand up. | ||
| This is before Will Smith got slapped Chris Rock. | ||
| This is way before. | ||
| This is fucking eight months ago. | ||
| And David Lucas is there and my brother. | ||
| But there's no security, dude. | ||
| So in my head I'm like, what the fuck am I... And they're just talking shit to me and I'm lighting them up, making fun of them. | ||
| And they have your clothes on. | ||
| Dude, when I say clothes, I'm talking... | ||
| Full gear. | ||
| Full B-Shop fans. | ||
| Like, thick boys, but they were skinny, so it didn't make sense. | ||
| They must have done drugs in the car or whatever. | ||
| So, they're walking out, and the crowd's booing them, and as they're walking, they want them out, they're clapping. | ||
| And I go, real quick, fellas, you know how I know you're gay? | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| They turn around, and I fucking light him up. | ||
| I'm like, who's sucking whose dick when you get back to your Dodge Neon back there? | ||
| And for whatever reason, that triggered him. | ||
| And he starts walking the stage. | ||
| And I went, dude, I'm telling you, Bubba, you don't want to step on the stage. | ||
| I'm telling you, there's nobody up here. | ||
| I will fuck you up, dude. | ||
| I'm telling you, dude, come up here, see what happens. | ||
| Whatever drug he's on, you know, he's like, all right, leaves. | ||
| I get done with the show, I'm so pissed. | ||
| I get to the back of my crew, my brother, who's my road manager, and David, I'm like, where the fuck were you guys? | ||
| And they're like, we had no idea. | ||
| I go, where's security? | ||
| I go to the manager, where the fuck's security? | ||
| What are we gonna do? | ||
| And the lady goes, sweetheart, I'm security. | ||
| I've been here 30 years. | ||
| You're security? | ||
| She goes, yeah. | ||
| I went, oh, fuck, dude. | ||
| She goes, I'm sorry, baby. | ||
| I thought you handled it up there. | ||
| I go, what if you were to come on stage? | ||
| She goes, hopefully you can handle yourself. | ||
| I'm like, that's the security? | ||
| Hopefully you can handle yourself. | ||
| That was just Kentucky. | ||
| Usually they're on it. | ||
| But you know what I get all the time? | ||
| Almost every club drives me nuts. | ||
| Man, we don't have to work tonight. | ||
| You got this. | ||
| The security guy's like, relax. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, what? | ||
| No, work harder, stupid. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| But that kind of situation is dangerous. | ||
| If you got some guy who's walking towards the stage, you really never know why he's that confident to do that, what's going on with him. | ||
| These boys were on meth or something, man. | ||
| It's Kentucky. | ||
| They were mad because they thought that you were- Homophobic. | ||
| They just hated all some out gays. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hated. | ||
| See, that's the thing. | ||
| I was highlighting it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But making fun of it in that way, I wish I could just be hanging out with my friends and then- The bit is they get in on it because I go, man, if they lock us back down, you know how much more fun it'd be if we were with the bros? | ||
| You know how much more fun lockdown it'd be with the bros? | ||
| And then I go, this is where I fucked up, I go, fellas, think about it, and they're all in on the joke, and I think about it, dude, we'd like work out, right? | ||
| They're all like, yeah. | ||
| Like, we'd play video games, they're all like, yeah. | ||
| I'm like, and at night we'd fuck each other, and dude, that was just when they were like, what the fuck? | ||
| Whoa, whoa, dude, it's a joke! | ||
| Are they mad because they don't like gay people? | ||
| That might be what it is. | ||
| Well, I think it's... | ||
| Or is it because they're gay and they want to pretend they don't like people that are gay? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And then when I said, I go, oh, you know how I know you're gay? | ||
| Because that offended you. | ||
| That triggered you. | ||
| I go, look at the rest of the crowd. | ||
| They're always having a good time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Except for you two gays. | |
| Bro, I fucked up when I said that. | ||
| These boys are not having it. | ||
| These Kentucky fucking bluegrass boys were not having it. | ||
| Well, I hope they fucked each other extra hard that night. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Really hope they fucking brought it home, man. | ||
| Brought it home for shop. | ||
| In the thick boy gear. | ||
| The fact they bought all your stuff, too, and they were mad. | ||
| That was so weird, dude. | ||
| I had one girl in Atlanta just fucking popping off, and I lit her up, dude. | ||
| And I could feel the crowd turn. | ||
| You can feel it, dude. | ||
| We're line tamers. | ||
| I could feel the crowd. | ||
| It was in Atlanta, so it was like an urban crowd. | ||
| And there was a white girl by herself. | ||
| She got drunk, and she had a really bad dye job. | ||
| And the one thing the hecklers say, I'll stop talking when you tell a funny joke. | ||
| I'm like, all right, sweetie. | ||
| I'll tell you what, I'll tell a funny joke when you fix your roots. | ||
| You know just whatever and she her hair's all fucked up because you can tell it fucking hurt her internally and then she would say something the crowd start chanting roots roots roots I could feel them like they were gonna fucking pick this girl apart so I go whoa whoa hold on hold on I can feel it and I go Are you done? | ||
| I can do this all day, sweetie. | ||
| I promise you. | ||
| I can do this all fucking night. | ||
| I have a mic. | ||
| This isn't going to end well for you. | ||
| I go, are we good? | ||
| Can we shake on it? | ||
| Are you going to shut up? | ||
| And she goes, yes. | ||
| Everyone be nice to her. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| She's good for the rest of the show. | ||
| Buy six hoodies, dude. | ||
| Fucking- She bought six hoodies? | ||
| Bought six hoodies. | ||
| She's probably a fan. | ||
| Yeah, it's so weird. | ||
| Because they don't know what to do. | ||
| It's like if a girl knows a guy, but she doesn't know him, she knows of him, and he's right there, maybe she'll say something insulting to get his attention. | ||
| And that's what she was doing. | ||
| Terrible idea, dude. | ||
| They think they're living in a movie. | ||
| It's like, you know I do a show with Theo Vaughn and Chris where all we do is make fun of each other? | ||
| Yeah, but they think they're living in a movie. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, what do you think I'm going to do to you? | ||
| You have a flat ass living in Atlanta. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen here? | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's like, this is a bad idea. | ||
| Can a flat ass be truly cured? | ||
| Yeah, especially now. | ||
| But how much of it is genetics? | ||
| Oh, all genetics, right? | ||
| I mean, there's some white girls who do deadlifts and shit to build it up, but in general, it's genetics. | ||
| But, like, I would like to see where... | ||
| What's the greatest anyone's gotten to from starting from flat? | ||
| I bet there's just some dumpers out there. | ||
| Right, but not fake. | ||
| No, I'm talking real shit. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| But, like, real build-up, like, deadlift squats. | ||
| You know, really build up your buns. | ||
| Can you build up your buns? | ||
| Because it's kind of like guys with calves, right? | ||
| Like if you look at the Olympia, like the Naka. | ||
| Look at John Jones. | ||
| Yeah, you have those tiny little calves. | ||
| Yeah, it's just his genetics. | ||
| There's not shit you can do. | ||
| If your calves are small, there's nothing. | ||
| Is that the same with asses? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Can you build up your arms, your chest? | ||
| You for sure can make it better, but like how much time does it take to go from having a flat butt to having an extraordinary badonkadon? | ||
| I mean, if she's eating like fucking sweet potatoes and just putting the deep squats, lunges, deadlift. | ||
| That's one thing about Instagram that it's really showed people is how many women are out there just dedicated to having a hot ass. | ||
| God bless them. | ||
| God bless them. | ||
| But also... | ||
| Putting in the real work. | ||
| Yeah, the real work, son. | ||
| Really setting a standard that a lot of those hoes don't like. | ||
| They get mad when you follow one of these fucking super dedicated fitness gals with ridiculous legs and ass, and you're like, what the hell? | ||
| She's putting in work, son. | ||
| Work. | ||
| Work. | ||
| Or, you know, somebody that might be Anabar or whatever, you know? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| And there's also filters. | ||
| There's some account this girl purposely shows. | ||
| She'll take a picture of her ass with a certain pose and filter and show the real one. | ||
| And you're like, Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| It's all smoke and mirrors. | ||
| There is some smoke and mirrors, but there's some real asses. | ||
| There's some real asses. | ||
| Dumpers, dude. | ||
| Yeah, real athletic asses. | ||
| If you wanted to look at it like a graph, if they were showing a chart of when the increase in insane asses came, I think a lot of it coincides with social media. | ||
| Social media and the Kardashians. | ||
| Kim Kardashian. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Because, like, back in the day, asses weren't a big... | ||
| Jennifer Lopez was first. | ||
| Of course, you know, Baby Got Back. | ||
| Shakira. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But not, like, a fattest. | ||
| Like, Kim made it, like, you know, changed the game where asses were cool. | ||
| Like, she used to get shit, she says, in high school from a big dumper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now it's pretty cool. | ||
| Well, it's like, there's that kind, but then there's the kind of the athlete kind. | ||
| Yeah, different ass. | ||
| That's a different kind of ass. | ||
| On guys and gals. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's why those Kentucky guys want to fight me, you know? | ||
| Yeah, but with girls, it's crazy, too, because then they wear these shoes that accentuates it, right? | ||
| So they're standing on their tippy-toes walking around with their butt poking out with very little clothes on. | ||
| The difference between what women are allowed to wear versus what men are allowed to wear is really extraordinary. | ||
| Oh, extraordinary. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Can you imagine if I wore the cut-off jean shorts, like Make the Stallion War? | ||
| Like Barone wore back in the day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Shout-out to Barone! | ||
| Shout-out to Barone! | ||
| Phil Barone. | ||
| Classic. | ||
| One of the most fun times I ever had doing commentary was doing commentary with Phil Barone. | ||
| Legend. | ||
| We had a good time. | ||
| Like, if I walked in here with those Phil Barone, Meg Thee Stallion cut-off jean shorts. | ||
| You can't wear those. | ||
| Well, imagine if I went on stage last night at the Vulcan with those fucking cut-off jean shorts. | ||
| Maybe that's your move. | ||
| That's my thing. | ||
| Maybe that's your move. | ||
| Just go all the way. | ||
| Just wear like Timbalands with no socks. | ||
| And fucking cut off t-shirts. | ||
| Just a bad bitch on stage. | ||
| And a little white t-shirt on, tank top. | ||
| Yeah, that's your move. | ||
| Just a bad bitch. | ||
| That's your move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The bad bitch toward 2022. Yeah. | |
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Dude, I would get booed off the fucking stage. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Guys can't do it, dude. | ||
| But what if you had strong jokes? | ||
| Oh, they better be good. | ||
| Hit them out of the box with fucking banger after banger. | ||
| Dude, it'd be so distracting. | ||
| But isn't it possible? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| If you had the material like Mark Norman could do, he's such a good joke writer, I'd go up there with fucking... | ||
| Imagine, if they use you as a project. | ||
| This is our idea, Brendan. | ||
| We love you, we think you're really good, but you're missing something. | ||
| And we think it's a gimmick. | ||
| And here's what we're going to do. | ||
| We're going to put you in a couple of... | ||
| We're going to put you in Daisy Dukes. | ||
| Timbalands. | ||
| I quit. | ||
| I fucking quit, man. | ||
| Timbalands, no socks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No socks. | |
| Tank top. | ||
| And maybe, like, wooden beads around your wrist. | ||
| We're going to call it the Bad Bitch Tour. | ||
| Are you cool for that, man? | ||
| No, a bunch of old school, like, scarves. | ||
| Remember when dudes used to wear scarves around their wrists? | ||
| Yeah, you mean Johnny Depp? | ||
| Or Chris Angel? | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Magicians and actors. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Dude, when we were in Atlanta, we went to this mall, and David's from there, so he's like, hey man, be careful of that mall. | ||
| I'm like, what do you mean? | ||
| He's like, they have shootings all the time, dude. | ||
| It's the best mall. | ||
| They have fire kicks on my sneaker head. | ||
| He's like, but dude, I'm telling you, it's dangerous there. | ||
| We looked it up, and there's all these shootings every week. | ||
| But we go, you know, whatever it takes to get the sneakers. | ||
| So me and the squad, the Thick Boy squad, go there. | ||
| And there's like gangsters in there. | ||
| There's metal detectors everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of fucking mall is this, bro? | |
| I wish I could remember the name. | ||
| This mall was nutsos. | ||
| The security dude. | ||
| Everybody has fucking AR-15s. | ||
| Like nuts. | ||
| What? | ||
| At a mall? | ||
| At a mall. | ||
| I go up to the guy. | ||
| He was a fan. | ||
| And he was like, oh, what's up, B-Shop? | ||
| What you doing here? | ||
| What's up, man? | ||
| Why do you guys have AR-15s? | ||
| He goes, oh dude, last week they were cutting throats in the bathroom. | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| Because they're cutting throats in the bathroom. | ||
| I go, what the fuck? | ||
| He goes, oh, dude, every week there's something popping there. | ||
| It usually happens right outside Nordstrom, so don't go out in Nordstrom. | ||
| It's like, holy fuck. | ||
| So they have a neighborhood in the mall that's the bad neighborhood? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nordstrom's is the bad neighborhood in the mall? | ||
| The mall is. | ||
| Don't go by Nordstrom's. | ||
| They're cutting throats in the bathroom. | ||
| Your boy still in the bathroom. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| It's tough out there. | ||
| It's different than L.A. You know, I look different. | ||
| I'm a bigger dude. | ||
| I'm not fucking Shaquille O'Neal, but I look different. | ||
| I'm wearing what I'm wearing now. | ||
| I'm walking through with some dope sneakers. | ||
| And these, like, gangsters out there are staring at me. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, man, we gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| These guys are eyeballing me. | ||
| And my buddy, Justin Elliott, who's from Atlanta, he's been there a ton of times, he goes, no, no, dude, this is the gay area. | ||
| They don't want to fight you. | ||
| They want to fuck you. | ||
| This is the gay area of the mall? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| That mall attracts a lot of gay dudes. | ||
| Does the mall have a gay neighborhood as well as a bad neighborhood? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Dude, it's the Wild West out there, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dirty South, dude. | ||
| Is that crazy? | ||
| This mall's nuts. | ||
| So they thought you were down to fuck. | ||
| Well, that's my thing. | ||
| I'm like, dude, these guys keep- Look at him with his fashion sense. | ||
| Dude, they were- His manicured beard. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, dude, these guys keep looking at me. | ||
| They want to fight you. | ||
| He goes, no, no, no. | ||
| They want to fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm like, oh, well, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, that's better. | ||
| It's safer. | ||
| Better than killing me, yeah. | ||
| Safer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everyone had an ass out there. | ||
| Atlanta don't fuck around, man. | ||
| Atlanta's a fun place. | ||
| Yeah, so much fun. | ||
| It's one of those cities that had one of the best comedy clubs ever in the punchline. | ||
| That's where I performed. | ||
| Well, the old one is gone. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| I haven't been to the new one. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| No, that club now, it's next to a cafe. | ||
| It's old as fuck, dude. | ||
| Super old. | ||
| The Punchline Atlanta? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This one's been there forever. | ||
| It's literally next to a diner. | ||
| Small club. | ||
| When you say been there forever, what does that mean? | ||
| How many years? | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| This place is old. | ||
| But the old one I thought went under. | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| But this is the same punchline that Jeff Foxworthy lives, I don't know, 20 minutes away from. | ||
| So he'll go there. | ||
| It's basically his comedy store. | ||
| He'll go there and just do sets. | ||
| Ron Wyatt will do sets there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had all these pictures of Jeff Foxworthy and Ron Wyatt on the wall in the green room. | ||
| I worked at the other one. | ||
| I worked at the punchline for a while. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Landmark Diner Punchline Comedy. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, that's it, man. | ||
| Small little stage right next to a diner that's open 24-7. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Well, this is definitely different. | ||
| Is that different, Joe? | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely different. | ||
| I mean, you've been doing fucking theaters for how long? | ||
| How long ago did you go? | ||
| I want to say the early 2000s. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| Check how long it's been open, Jamie. | ||
| But I'm telling you, Jeff Foxworthy just pops up, runs his shit. | ||
| He's right there. | ||
| It's such a cool club, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like small, intimate, and you go to the diner afterwards. | ||
| It's so much fun. | ||
| That mall, you better have your head on a swivel. | ||
| You're going to get your throat cut or your dick sucked. | ||
| Yeah, be careful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yeah, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or both. | |
| It's just the way I dress. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You gotta be careful out there. | ||
| You gotta be careful of the order. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't know. | ||
| Here's the other thing. | ||
| There's a steakhouse called the Alley Steakhouse. | ||
| One of the best, you know, I gotta eat carnivore, so I look for steakhouses. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We go there. | ||
| Chappelle Lacey, which is frowned upon in my world, will wear sweats wherever. | ||
| Sweats and fucking bands. | ||
| To a nice restaurant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We go to get in, and the guy goes, uh-uh, not happening. | ||
| I'm like, what do you mean? | ||
| He goes, didn't you read the dress code out front? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| The guy goes, you guys can't eat here. | ||
| And, you know, Chappelle's a black guy. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? | ||
| He goes, you can't eat here, man. | ||
| Look at the fucking dress code. | ||
| He goes, it's right up front. | ||
| Before he walked in, I go, he goes, I'll show you. | ||
| He comes out. | ||
| I'm looking at it and says, like, no baggy clothes, no backwards hat, no fucking jerseys. | ||
| And I go, dude, why don't you say no black people? | ||
| And the guy's like, Don't be like that, man. | ||
| We can't have that shit in here. | ||
| We don't have that riffraff in here. | ||
| I'm like, dude, we just want a fucking steak, dude. | ||
| And the security guard goes, I know him. | ||
| He's good, man. | ||
| So they let us eat in the bar. | ||
| But he goes, I'm telling you, if you guys want to come here, how long are you here? | ||
| I go, three days, man. | ||
| He goes, yeah, he can't wear sweats, man. | ||
| All right, dude, won't wear sweats. | ||
| I'm heated. | ||
| She was like, dude, it's cool, man. | ||
| But then it's right across the street from that mall where they're slitting throats. | ||
| So then I was like, oh, they don't want that going on here. | ||
| It's not a racist thing, because the owner was black. | ||
| They don't want that shit coming over here. | ||
| That's what he was doing. | ||
| Super strict. | ||
| The sweatpants thing is a weird thing, though, right? | ||
| Because girls can basically wear vagina curtains. | ||
| And dudes can't wear sweatpants? | ||
| You don't like the kind of cloth? | ||
| What if I wear MC Hammer pants? | ||
| Does that count as sweatpants? | ||
| Remember those? | ||
| Can't touch it. | ||
| Remember Cavaricci's? | ||
| Dude, here's my management ones in the UFC. MC Hammer. | ||
| How was that? | ||
| He was cool. | ||
| Had some power. | ||
| Is he still doing that? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| He invested in Uber and Facebook when it jumped. | ||
| He's stupid rich. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy. | ||
| That's a good story because the story was always that MC Hammer spent all his rap money. | ||
| So I talked to him about that. | ||
| He goes, there's a difference. | ||
| There's MC Hammer bankrupt, and then there's normal bankrupt. | ||
| He's like, dude, I wasn't broke. | ||
| He's like, I was rich as shit. | ||
| But there are certain businesses, like Donald Trump. | ||
| Remember when he was running for president? | ||
| I think Donald Trump was bankrupt more than once. | ||
| Finally I found this. | ||
| Moved in 2015, I think. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, it's in Buckhead. | ||
| That's where that mall is at, dude. | ||
| Type in Buckhead Mall and it's going to pop up. | ||
| It's notoriously known for gangster shit. | ||
| That sounds like I probably won't be visiting. | ||
| Yeah, don't go there. | ||
| Yeah, don't go there. | ||
| The old place was awesome, though. | ||
| The old punchline was the shit. | ||
| I think something happened, like the land got sold or some shit. | ||
| That's the thing about doing stand-up. | ||
| I'm all over, dude. | ||
| I get to experience such cool shit, man. | ||
| That's why I'm excited about opening a club. | ||
| It's because I used to tell comics all the time, hey man, you gotta be nice to the club owners. | ||
| I go, don't think they're the enemy. | ||
| You need them. | ||
| You need them and you don't want to do that job. | ||
| You don't want to be a club owner. | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| They don't want to be comics. | ||
| Some of them actually did want to be comics. | ||
| That's where it gets dicey. | ||
| That gets dicey. | ||
| If they put themselves on your show. | ||
| But most of them are comedy fans and they realize a way to work with comics. | ||
| They work with each other. | ||
| A lot of times a bad relationship back or forth could be both people's problems. | ||
| It could be mitigated by either person's effort. | ||
| And then now, opening a club of my own, I'm like, wow. | ||
| Like, I never thought I would ever even want to do that. | ||
| But when I got here, I was like, well, that seems like the right thing to do. | ||
| It seems like the thing to do is to, like, establish a real home base. | ||
| Is it more of a take-on than you thought? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah, because the real problem is always talented people, which we have. | ||
| Oh, you'll get that. | ||
| And the other problem is, I mean, also talented people to run the club and design the club. | ||
| But then the other problem is financial. | ||
| So it seems like I had to do it. | ||
| It's a rare opportunity to be able to do something like that. | ||
| As someone who loves comedy as much as I do, why wouldn't I do that? | ||
| It was one of the rare moments in my life where I felt like the decision was made for me by the circumstances and just by fate, just by legacy, just laying it down. | ||
| The decision was made for me. | ||
| Yeah, it was easy for you. | ||
| It was easy. | ||
| It wasn't like I debated it. | ||
| I never thought, maybe I shouldn't open a club out here. | ||
| It was like, I'm 100% going to open up a club out here. | ||
| Seems natural. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's like, what else would you want to do? | ||
| It's the same thing where we're talking about the whole thing about whether you would do your special on a network and be subject to their ability to distribute, their whims as far as what your material is or anything else. | ||
| Well, that's kind of the same thing with a comedy club. | ||
| I mean, if you could run your own comedy club and do it optimally, and then you would realize, like, I don't need anybody else to do this. | ||
| But plus, you came up in comedy clubs. | ||
| So you have the experience. | ||
| You know what works, what doesn't. | ||
| So there could be a better person to do it. | ||
| But when I say I don't need anybody, I don't mean, like, the workers. | ||
| You definitely need those. | ||
| I mean, like, another business person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| I don't need, like, a partner. | ||
| We could just get together with all the other people that you need to run a club, like great bar managers and great managers and talent coordinators and just figure it out. | ||
| Let's figure it out together. | ||
| Yeah, and your staff, who I know very well, you surround yourself with guys who they don't miss, man. | ||
| They know exactly what the fuck they're doing. | ||
| They know what they're doing and they know that I know what I'm doing and that I'm committed to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| And then we're going to have some fun. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And it's a rare opportunity to be able to build something completely from scratch. | ||
| What? | ||
| Nuts. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| I mean, I think it'd be... | ||
| I love Austin. | ||
| I have nothing against Austin. | ||
| You'd be successful if you opened this up in fucking Albuquerque, New Mexico. | ||
| Yeah, but I like it here. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just saying. | ||
| I like it here, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like it here, too. | ||
| I felt compelled to come here. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| As weird as that sounds. | ||
| No, I get it. | ||
| I get it 100%. | ||
| I think when I was thinking about moving out here, I just... | ||
| It's just not my time. | ||
| It didn't feel like you felt compelled. | ||
| For me, I knew I had more work to do in LA. You've been in LA 30 years? | ||
| How long? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| LA's great, man. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with being in fucking Detroit. | ||
| Just do the work. | ||
| Put in the work. | ||
| Just for me and for guys like Tony and Dylan and Segura, we were like, let's get out of here. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| Dylan moved back, but yeah. | ||
| Well, Tim's here. | ||
| He's got a house here. | ||
| Tim Dillon has a beautiful house that he just finished. | ||
| For sure, Tim has a house here, New York, and L.A. He's crushed it. | ||
| He's got several houses out here. | ||
| For sure, he's crushed it. | ||
| Well, he's smart. | ||
| He actually used to sell houses for a living. | ||
| He knows there's a real investment opportunity out here. | ||
| But he's here out here all the time. | ||
| But the point is, when we have a club out here, and we have a legitimate home base, and we can attract people to come and hang and make it a fun place, Make it something that everybody looks forward to and you actually like look forward to showing everyone your new shit when you come into town and have it that kind of environment that it's that good. | ||
| Oh, it's going to be great, man. | ||
| But also, again, to these LA comics who are like, oh, Austin or Austin is OLA, the more the merrier, man. | ||
| It's the more the merrier. | ||
| This is going to be a hub. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| There's another place we can go? | ||
| Next place is Hawaii. | ||
| Next place we start a comedy community in Hawaii. | ||
| 100%, dude. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| There's that Blue Oyster out there, or you can do the arena, but yeah, Hawaii would be fucking lit. | ||
| You'd have to do it in Honolulu, because Honolulu has a million people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you could pull it off in Honolulu. | ||
| You could pull it off there. | ||
| If somebody went really gangster, like if BJ Penn was a stand-up comic. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| And what it did, opened up his own club in Honolulu. | ||
| Joe Coy crushes it out there. | ||
| There's certain comics where they just fucking crush it. | ||
| Joe Coy crushes it at a lot of places. | ||
| Everywhere, man. | ||
| Joe Coy. | ||
| Joe Coy is crushing it at a lot of places. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a good time for comedy. | ||
| If you just look at the amount of guys that are crushing it right now, it's a really good time. | ||
| It's a good time, but it's also never been more competitive. | ||
| When you think about it, like when you're coming up, like if you're on the road, let's say you're in, you know, where was I? I was in Phoenix. | ||
| Well, fucking also in Phoenix was another comic. | ||
| Like there's a lot of competition, man. | ||
| Or the week before was Chris DiStefano. | ||
| You can think about it that way, but there's no way you're ever going to tap into the sheer numbers of people that are out there available and looking for entertainment on a regular night in a city. | ||
| Agree. | ||
| If you look at a regular city, this is a small city. | ||
| Austin has a million people. | ||
| And there's only a million people outside of Austin in the general area. | ||
| That's two million people, and you can see different people every night of the week in this town. | ||
| You can see Gary Clark Jr. if he's in town. | ||
| You can see Suzanne Santo. | ||
| You can see all these artists. | ||
| Ellis Bullard. | ||
| There's all these, like, really cool musicians. | ||
| There's comedy shows all over the place. | ||
| There's plenty of people. | ||
| There's plenty of people. | ||
| A regular comedy club only seats, like, a big one's 500 people. | ||
| There's fucking thousands of people that are all looking for shit to do. | ||
| It's not hard to have two, three shows run at the same time. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You just got to have good stuff. | ||
| Got to have good stuff. | ||
| So when you say it's competition, it kind of is. | ||
| I'm not saying that's a bad thing, though, Joe. | ||
| I think that's a positive thing. | ||
| It's a creative environment, and it's always had it with music here. | ||
| Austin has always been an amazing place for live music, and still is. | ||
| But now, I think comedy slots right into that. | ||
| And it makes sense. | ||
| It makes sense that we're detached from the hub of Hollywood now. | ||
| We don't have to be a part of that. | ||
| What comics are learning from promoting things on the internet, whether it's Schultz when he did his special online, or Norman did, Shane Gillis released his on YouTube, all these guys doing them, just releasing them online, they're realizing You don't have to do it the way that everybody else used to do it, where you're thinking about, like, oh, I don't want to say this because then I won't get a show. | ||
| Or, oh, I want to build up until the point that I can sell my sitcom. | ||
| Like, that's all gone, guys. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| And the smart guys, like, we have a close friend, let's see who it is, who... | ||
| Say it. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| No, I won't do that to him. | ||
| It's his story to tell. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, I wish I could. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| Well, people are going to guess. | ||
| Eh, that's fine. | ||
| But he got offered a Marvel movie. | ||
| And he's like, dude... | ||
| And when he told me, I'm like, you turned on a Marvel movie? | ||
| He's like, you know what shit I talk? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He was like, get on there. | ||
| That's my homie. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it's our homie. | ||
| Yeah, he can't be doing a Marvel movie. | ||
| He's smart. | ||
| But, I mean, the beautiful thing is he doesn't have to either. | ||
| He can turn down stuff, you know? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| And it's important to turn down stuff. | ||
| It's important to know what you actually want to do and how much time you actually have in a day. | ||
| But then there is some guy, you know, like you look at Burt Kreischer, which I went to his house last week to do his pod. | ||
| Dude... | ||
| Usually, because I text him, not even a flex, I'm not even trying to brag here. | ||
| I go, hey man, because where he used to live was Dicey. | ||
| Hey man, I'm coming from the studio, I'm in my Ferrari, can I pull into your driveway because you closed the gate? | ||
| And he goes, oh dude, you're good. | ||
| I got a new house. | ||
| I'm like, alright dude, you sure? | ||
| He goes, I promise you're good. | ||
| Let's not blow up his house. | ||
| Dude, I have to piss again. | ||
| What? | ||
| I drank so much water. | ||
| Dude, this is a milestone for me. | ||
| I always brag how I have to take pisses during the show. | ||
| I can't lie. | ||
| I'm holding it in. | ||
| I'm like, I can barely concentrate on this story. | ||
| This is a mental win. | ||
| This is piss warfare. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I'm tapping twice in a three-minute round. | ||
| I gotta piss. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we're back. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Do a couple piss breaks for you. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| It gets to that point where I'm like, there's no concentrating anymore. | ||
| All I'm doing is squeezing my dick muscles. | ||
| Which is rare for you. | ||
| Because when we're doing the Calabasas fight campaign and I have to pee, right away I go, I'm not Joe Rogan. | ||
| I gotta take a piss. | ||
| I'm not a fucking weird fucking hairless camel. | ||
| I gotta take a piss. | ||
| Most of the time, I plan it correctly. | ||
| But the problem for me is sauna and then rehydration. | ||
| And that's what you did this morning? | ||
| Yeah, that's my thing. | ||
| You did the sauna? | ||
| It's basically daily routine. | ||
| I did a little hotel workout, man. | ||
| You know, when you drop a special, you have anxiety. | ||
| As I'm getting older, I have anxiety. | ||
| I know, because you just poured more alcohol into a half-full glass. | ||
| No, but the ice, you know, I'm with the flavor, dude. | ||
| I'm all about flavor, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The flavor. | |
| The flavor, bro. | ||
| That's the flavor. | ||
| Damn, we're about to finish that bottle, son. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Finished two bottles last night. | ||
| You guys thought it was going to be bullshit. | ||
| And then everyone starts drinking. | ||
| No, I didn't think it was going to be bullshit. | ||
| I hoped it wasn't going to be bullshit. | ||
| It's the worst when your friend has bullshit. | ||
| But I was instantly surprised and happy that it was good. | ||
| It's a very good whiskey. | ||
| It's an interesting whiskey. | ||
| I would definitely buy that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's different. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And for me, what's big, you know, you can get it in Texas. | ||
| You can get it at Spex. | ||
| That's the big thing, Spex out here. | ||
| You can get it at Spex. | ||
| Spex is like the local liquor store. | ||
| So we're in Spex in Texas. | ||
| But then we just got online. | ||
| With Bourbon Outfitters just took us online. | ||
| Is it called Bourbon Outfitters? | ||
| Bourbon Outfitters. | ||
| Yeah, shout out to Bourbon Outfitters. | ||
| That seems like a robbery. | ||
| Yeah, isn't it great? | ||
| It took your boy on. | ||
| Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so weird. | |
| It's like if you open up a fucking shoe store called Blevi's. | ||
| Yeah, there's Urban Outfitters, right? | ||
| But this is Bourbon Outfitters. | ||
| But yeah, you can get it at thickboy.com. | ||
| And then just click on the link for the Tiger Whiskey. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Why Tiger? | ||
| Why'd you come up with Tiger? | ||
| My son's name's Tiger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I see. | |
| And Thick's my brand, right? | ||
| It's for him, man. | ||
| I like the eyes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's something about Tigers, too. | ||
| Add Tiger to anything. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Even Tiger Mom, you know? | ||
| I didn't think Tiger Woods was going to make a comeback, you know? | ||
| Tiger Woods? | ||
| Yeah, now he's fucking back popular, you know? | ||
| So they're like, oh, you did it after Tiger Woods? | ||
| I'm like, I don't fucking care about golf. | ||
| I just want something different. | ||
| There's too many Marys, Daves, and fucking Bobs in this world, man. | ||
| I want to put some pressure on them. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a good name. | ||
| If someone's going to be connected to something like that, that's a good name. | ||
| Tiger Woods is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, I love Tiger. | ||
| Super bad. | ||
| I can't believe you haven't had him on here. | ||
| What does his leg look like? | ||
| He's back. | ||
| It's wrapped in something. | ||
| I saw a video before we started. | ||
| Jamie's balls deep in this. | ||
| Jamie was chomping at the bit for this. | ||
| Jamie has bested his personal record on the speed of his drive. | ||
| Ball speed. | ||
| Ball speed. | ||
| Big deal, dude. | ||
| 180, hey. | ||
| Is that really good? | ||
| What's that like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not bad. | |
| It's not bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not bad. | |
| Tiger Woods is like 300 or something, yeah? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| 5,000. | ||
| I think that, I don't think at the moment Tiger could probably, he probably would, he would say like it would hurt him to try to even hit that hard. | ||
| To crank it up? | ||
| Have you seen this son who swings just like him? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| He said it would hurt him to shoot to 180. To swing that hard, because it's about swinging hard. | ||
| Is that because of his leg? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His back. | ||
| His back. | ||
| Yeah, he had a really bad back problem before his leg got fucked up, and he still has the back problem. | ||
| So all the torque's going to fuck his back up. | ||
| I can't say this enough for people. | ||
| There's a lot of people that develop bad backs and develop back problems. | ||
| There are a lot of exercises to strengthen your back. | ||
| And if you don't have a back problem right now, I urge you to take care of your back. | ||
| I urge you, if you have access to a reverse hyper machine, use it. | ||
| If you have access to a hyperextension machine, use that. | ||
| Even deadlift helps you with your back. | ||
| It's still wrapped up, so I'm sure it's got scars and stuff. | ||
| Do we know why he crashed? | ||
| Was he on some medication? | ||
| He just passed out and crashed on the fucking side of the road? | ||
| I don't think there's an official explanation. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think they said. | ||
| The word, you know, if you have bad backs, people are always suspicious that you're taking something for your bad back. | ||
| Well, he's been known, right? | ||
| He got busted before on the name of a drug. | ||
| And yeah, there was that one time they got pulled over and he was blitzkrieged. | ||
| Yeah, they say that with him where it went kind of south is he got, became best friends with Jordan and Charles Barkley. | ||
| And then they were just like, dude, this is what we do. | ||
| They take pills? | ||
| I guess just as far as the women and all that shit goes. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Oh, the women thing. | ||
| Yeah, you get all crazy about it. | ||
| Well, that doesn't lead to pills always, but pain does. | ||
| Back pain, I think if something's squirrely with driving, and there was that one time that he did get pulled over, there was a video of it, right? | ||
| But, yeah, there's a video of it, and he's blitzing Florida. | ||
| Here's a video of him before the injury, or pictures I should send. | ||
| Where he just falls to his ground in pain? | ||
| His back was hurt so bad. | ||
| He would take a swing, and he would just drop to the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He would still continue, and that's like the way he's playing now. | ||
| People are like, you should go get a cart so you can be out there and play. | ||
| And he's like, I'm not going to do that. | ||
| But, Jamie, did you hear this? | ||
| So, you know, he's always trying to show how tough he was to his dad. | ||
| His dad was in the military. | ||
| Did you hear about him training with Navy SEALs? | ||
| Like, straight-up Navy SEALs and, like, doing all the shit they did and fucked his knees and back up? | ||
| Have you heard about this? | ||
| Well, it certainly could. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's doing, like, proper training. | ||
| If you're not prepared and you don't have the musculature to protect your spine and you start doing wild shit like log lifts and stuff and... | ||
| You could definitely hurt yourself. | ||
| Bad. | ||
| You could herniate a disc. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bad. | |
| Knock on wood. | ||
| I'm fortunate, man. | ||
| I don't have any... | ||
| You're fit. | ||
| You're fit and you're strong. | ||
| I mean, there's a thing that... | ||
| You also have a big background in not just football, but then in wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and MMA. All these things are requiring you to move your body and keep it strong. | ||
| And then I've seen... | ||
| The workouts and shit you're doing online. | ||
| You keep everything strong. | ||
| The problem with people when it comes to backs is they don't treat the back like it's a specific thing that needs to be, like, exercised through a range of motion. | ||
| You have to, like, when I feel good, one of the things that I love to do is I like to smoke a little weed and then stretch. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because when I'm a little high and I stretch, it's like I feel where everything's tense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I feel it. | ||
| More relaxed. | ||
| Well, I don't know, man. | ||
| I feel like I have more communication with my tissue. | ||
| From the weak. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like I can relax and stretch out more. | ||
| It's like when I'm high and I do yoga, it's like the greatest yoga workouts I'd ever have. | ||
| Yeah, it does sound fantastic. | ||
| During the pandemic, there's nothing to do. | ||
| I was touring still, and I've had every fucking variant you can imagine. | ||
| But I got really into deadlifting, like heavy lifting. | ||
| With Bradley? | ||
| Bradley Martin? | ||
| At Zoo Culture, Bradley Martin, and my boy Mark Harley was training me and Chappelle. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, let's see how fucking big I can get, dude. | ||
| There's nothing else to do. | ||
| We're locked the fuck down. | ||
| It's the only gym open. | ||
| So I just started getting fucking meathead with it. | ||
| I did 425 on the bench. | ||
| I did 225 32 times. | ||
| And then I was like, let's see how much I can deadlift. | ||
| Like, that was always my thing in college. | ||
| And we did 550, which is pretty easy. | ||
| And I go, put 600 on. | ||
| Let's go 600. Dude. | ||
| I did 600. And, you know, Luke Thomas is like a deadlift aficionado. | ||
| And even when I post it, he's like, bro, be careful, man. | ||
| And everyone watching was like, I mean, you did that. | ||
| No grip, no ties, no chalk, just fucking gorilla style. | ||
| Why is he telling you to be careful that you don't fuck up your back? | ||
| Yeah, there's no need to do it. | ||
| So I did 600. That's not 600. That's bullshit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I did 600. I could feel my back. | ||
| Just every fiber go. | ||
| Tighten up. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| After I did it, you know, I did it for the gram, whatever, 600, all good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| I'm telling you, I was in my GT2, which is a fucking race car. | ||
| I was driving home, my back seized up. | ||
| I had to pull over, get out and stretch. | ||
| And I was thinking to myself, I'm like, what are you doing, dumbass? | ||
| Right, hurting yourself for no reason. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For what, dude? | |
| Why are you doing 600? | ||
| You know Robert Overst, the strong man? | ||
| He's been on my podcast before. | ||
| He's a giant, like a literal giant. | ||
| He tells people don't lift deadlifts. | ||
| Is that the gay guy? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's Rob Kearney. | ||
| That's World's Strongest Gay. | ||
| Shout out to my man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stay gay. | ||
| When Oberst was on, he was telling people, like, don't lift heavy with deadlifts. | ||
| And he qualified recently. | ||
| He sent me a message. | ||
| What's heavy to him, though? | ||
| Well, look at the size of him, man. | ||
| Robert Oberst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I like that guy. | ||
| He's gigantic. | ||
| But he basically said, like, you could actually strengthen your back by doing, like, low weights and higher reps, but it's, like, real heavy deadlifting. | ||
| Real heavy deadlifting. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| I'll never do it. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Dude, now, like, me, Mark Carly, and Chappelle, we lift, you know, basically four times a week together when we're all in L.A. Every morning at Zoo Culture. | ||
| Now we'll do time sets of 315, sets of 20. 315. We don't go higher than 315. I'm the most lean, strong I've ever been, dude. | ||
| Even when I was fighting, I feel great. | ||
| I'm in better shape now than ever, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ever. | |
| That's awesome. | ||
| And really, it's all... | ||
| To be honest, I'm not doing a fraction of cardio I did when I was fighting. | ||
| Not even fucking close I'm in better shape. | ||
| Just because I'm taking better care of my body, my diet's on point. | ||
| Just older. | ||
| Probably you're doing it for the right reasons, too. | ||
| You're doing it just to be healthy versus to get ready for a fight. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a better... | ||
| I'm also not overdoing it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| When I was fighting, I was way over-trained, just like I do everything. | ||
| I don't do anything heavy at all anymore. | ||
| Everything I do is with kettlebells. | ||
| Almost everything. | ||
| Every now and then, I'll pick up a hex bar, and I'll do some hex bar deadlifts, and I'll do some other shit. | ||
| But almost everything I do, the heaviest weight I lift is 70 pounds. | ||
| The other thing I'll go heavy on now is bench. | ||
| And remember, I know you talk about bench and hurting your shoulder. | ||
| Dude, I've been lifting. | ||
| I think this is why I stay injury-free, knock on wood, is because since fourth grade, I've been in those fucking gyms, man. | ||
| I've been in gyms since fourth grade and doing bench. | ||
| Yeah, you built a base and then you kept it strong. | ||
| So I'm good. | ||
| I've never taken time off for it. | ||
| So I'll jump on. | ||
| I'll look at the combine numbers, see what they're doing as tight ends or linebackers. | ||
| I'll go, what's the highest? | ||
| And then I'll see where I'm at. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I'll knock out 225 easily. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| 25, 30 easily now. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| As long as you don't get injured. | ||
| That's the whole key. | ||
| But the thing about that whole powerlifting, weightlifting world is it's gonna get you. | ||
| It's gonna get you. | ||
| If your technique's not on point, and there's a lot that goes into it, especially with deadlift. | ||
| But most people, it gets you. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Most people. | ||
| Especially if you're being a knucklehead. | ||
| That's why so many people get hurt doing CrossFit. | ||
| What I really like about kettlebells, though, is it doesn't seem like it gets you very often. | ||
| Like, I can get a really good workout with the heaviest weight I'm lifting is 70 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm doing, like, 70-pound windmills and gorilla cleans. | ||
| That's your shit. | ||
| And I'm doing all these different things. | ||
| Dude, I told you this one when I took a piss before I stared at your dick. | ||
| You look... | ||
| You got a dick on you, dude. | ||
| Congrats, man. | ||
| Congrats. | ||
| I was trying to see Alex Jones last night, but he fucking shut the door. | ||
| Anyways, you're in fucking shape, dude. | ||
| No, we're working out a lot. | ||
| You look shredded, man. | ||
| You keep them with fucking cut-off jean shorts. | ||
| What do you got on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Athletic shorts? | |
| They're short, though, right? | ||
| They're short for you, though. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| A little short, dude. | ||
| Bro, these are regular shorts. | ||
| You got some quads on you, daddy. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| These are regular shorts. | ||
| Don't lie. | ||
| We're Nikes now and shit? | ||
| You didn't wear a Nike? | ||
| You've changed, man. | ||
| I've gone to Hollywood. | ||
| I told David Lucas last night, he was like, what'd you think? | ||
| I was like, that's fucking great. | ||
| I was like, Joe's basically fucking Biden. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, there's fucking security, there's black fucking SUVs. | |
| He's a politician. | ||
| It's like hanging out with a politician, dude. | ||
| Yeah, it gets sketchy. | ||
| Your life has changed, man. | ||
| Well, if you get to a certain level of popularity, things do get sketchy. | ||
| They get weird. | ||
| Yeah, thank God you have the talent to back it up. | ||
| Can you imagine if you were like a hack, like you couldn't, like you're our shit, and then you're doing these huge arenas? | ||
| That would be a problem. | ||
| You gotta be your same self too though, man. | ||
| Like, you gotta be able to be yourself no matter how many people are watching. | ||
| That's what's weird. | ||
| That's when it gets uncomfortable. | ||
| Because everybody imagines how you would do it if you were that famous, but nobody really knows. | ||
| You don't know until you get there, because it's a unique kind of pressure that, unless you've experienced it, you're just guessing. | ||
| I'm not just saying this because we're my closest friends, but you were built for this, man. | ||
| There couldn't be a better guy for the gig. | ||
| Good luck! | ||
| Pressure? | ||
| Good luck! | ||
| I know him, dude. | ||
| Good luck, man. | ||
| You were built for this, dude. | ||
| There couldn't be a better guy to do this with all this shit. | ||
| Any time there's pressure, it's a unique opportunity for you to be able to express yourself in a different light. | ||
| People can see how you respond and what your real feelings are to all kinds of things. | ||
| You get to look at your accusers, too. | ||
| Meaning? | ||
| Like, if you know who a person is, and then you know that someone is misrepresenting them intentionally in the media, like with CNN or whatever it is, you look at them and you go, what are they really like? | ||
| Like, who are these people that are running this? | ||
| What kind of weird, petty, woke people are behind the scenes that are doing this? | ||
| And what kind of delusional perspective on reality do they have where they think this is going to work? | ||
| Because it does the opposite of work. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah, especially with your situation. | ||
| I woke up, and I don't know, I used to getting older and, you know, running a business, and be careful what you ask for with Thickboy Studios. | ||
| You have employees, and you have boss, you know, I'm a boss now. | ||
| Like, there's a lot that goes into it, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a boss, what? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Like, I gotta run this fucking thing? | ||
| So it's like, you're putting out a million fires, and then, you know, I guess because I'm older, I have kids, like, my anxiety's through the roof, man. | ||
| Like, I woke up this morning because my special, you know? | ||
| Even with the Tough Mudders and everything? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Anxiety's through the roof. | ||
| You wouldn't believe it, dude. | ||
| Well, you're doing something difficult. | ||
| You know, when things are difficult and there's a lot of unknown, a lot of unknowns factor in when you're doing things that are difficult. | ||
| And that is, you know, especially when you're a father and you're a provider and you have a career and it's kind of a crazy career that you patch together once you are already a professional athlete and then all of a sudden you're doing this podcasting thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's natural to have anxiety, but, you know, meditation is probably a good option for you. | ||
| Like, find some time during the day and sit alone and just think about your breathing. | ||
| That's what I did this morning before I came here. | ||
| It's good? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of the things I love the most about yoga. | ||
| Is that yoga forces you to just think about your own bullshit while you're going through all these crazy poses and trying to hold them sweating. | ||
| Especially hot yoga. | ||
| It's fucking tough, dude. | ||
| It's so challenging. | ||
| And if you can just fight that inner demon, it's like, dude, let's get the fuck out of it. | ||
| It's 120 degrees. | ||
| You're on this stupid pose. | ||
| It's like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's uniquely challenging. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| But it's also uniquely ancient, right? | ||
| People figured out a long time ago that that's really good for you. | ||
| A hot second ago. | ||
| No pun intended. | ||
| I don't like to advocate drugs for everything, but for yoga, marijuana and yoga are like long lost lovers. | ||
| They don't even know. | ||
| They don't even know. | ||
| Well, that's like whiskey and stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, but if you get marijuana and yoga together, I'm telling you, they're like, oh my god. | ||
| It's a tango, dude. | ||
| Together, together we're one. | ||
| Yeah, peanut butter and jelly, daddy. | ||
| Marijuana, like when I was talking about how I like stretching when I'm high, that's just like static. | ||
| It's just static. | ||
| You're just pulling tissue apart and you're getting a feel for things. | ||
| But when you're actually going through poses and holding poses and concentrating on breathing and just concentrating on your balance and you're dripping sweat, there's something about marijuana that makes that magical. | ||
| Getting high and going to yoga is one of the most transcendent experiences a person can have in a normal city without completely losing their fucking mind. | ||
| You can change your perspective. | ||
| And if you do it a lot, if you do it on a regular basis, you can change the way you think about everything. | ||
| Have you gotten to shrooms at all? | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Microdosing shrooms? | ||
| I was doing a lot of shrooms when I got canceled. | ||
| When I got canceled, like from the time I got... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because I wanted to see. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let's throw some mushrooms at it. | ||
| And did it make it better? | ||
| Yeah, I was so much more relaxed. | ||
| And how much when all the... | ||
| Also, being canceled is hilarious, but no one's canceling you. | ||
| But when all that shitstorm was coming, I mean, I would talk to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You were fine. | ||
| Yeah, you just stay offline. | ||
| You just didn't pay attention to it? | ||
| Yeah, just don't... | ||
| How'd you deal with it? | ||
| Deal with yourself. | ||
| Do other things that are also difficult with me. | ||
| A lot of it is always my workouts are always crazy difficult. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then sauna sessions and cold plunge sessions and all this different shit that I always do anyway. | ||
| And then, you know, let it pass over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I think I woke up this morning with anxiety and I did a workout and then drank some whiskey and then did my nicotine. | ||
| Dude, I'm on so much shit. | ||
| That stuff is so nasty. | ||
| I don't know why you keep that in your mouth. | ||
| Bro, what are you talking about? | ||
| Jamie and I bailed. | ||
| You guys are bitches. | ||
| How long did you keep it in your mouth for? | ||
| Ten seconds before you. | ||
| Ten seconds? | ||
| No, no, no, just before him. | ||
| Come on, what are we doing here? | ||
| You still have it in there? | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I'll go through a can a day, dude. | ||
| I'm obsessed with it. | ||
| This is Barry. | ||
| The mango and the lemon fire. | ||
| The cinnamon... | ||
| Let me try one more time. | ||
| Yeah, there we go. | ||
| That's the spirit, dude. | ||
| Yeah, but I woke up this morning with fucking anxiety. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I popped... | |
| I'm going to prepare myself. | ||
| I did four at a time. | ||
| I did four rogues at a time. | ||
| A little whiskey. | ||
| Four at a time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| I'm doing one. | ||
| It's foul. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right, here we go. | ||
| Yeah, let's do this. | ||
| It doesn't taste bad. | ||
| It's strong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are we doing, dude? | ||
| If you're going to do it, do it. | ||
| It's the tingle. | ||
| Yeah, if you're going to do it, do it. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| You do these on stage, don't you? | ||
| No, I take him out for a stage. | ||
| I don't want to be an abstraction. | ||
| I do it right before, but yeah, dude, I struggle with English as it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I don't need that to fucking liability. | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| Now, you might leave here and try some others. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's nothing as tasty as this. | ||
| That's why I fuck with these. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Rogue. | ||
| Rogue, dude. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| You'll never find anything better. | ||
| You're going to do all these other ones. | ||
| I was good for about 45 seconds earlier. | ||
| This product contains nicotine. | ||
| Nicotine is an addictive chemical. | ||
| They're not lying. | ||
| Because your boy goes through a can a day. | ||
| I like cigars. | ||
| I'm a fan of the cigars. | ||
| Yeah, but I woke up this morning, and maybe it adds to my anxiety. | ||
| I do four of those at a time. | ||
| I do seven shots of espresso. | ||
| That's not good either. | ||
| So, yeah, just hear me out of here. | ||
| Seven shots of espresso, that, had some whiskey. | ||
| What kind of lumberyard shit are you taking? | ||
| That many of these rogues and seven shots of espresso. | ||
| You must be like one of those fucking trucks that trips over into a river and just unloads logs. | ||
| You want to hear my process? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey kids, you want to hear my process of stand-up? | |
| So I do that, and then I only eat red meat, my cholesterol, and blood pressure to the roof. | ||
| And then I did a workout, and then I was like, and again, I think it's through my years of sports at a high level, and I was just like, you've done your best, man. | ||
| Now there's nothing I can do. | ||
| You've done your very best. | ||
| This is the best I have, dude. | ||
| We've done everything we can, the promotion, the marketing side of it. | ||
| Now it's not on me. | ||
| And I just felt like this freedom a little bit. | ||
| But now the anxiety's back. | ||
| But for a hot second, the anxiety was gone. | ||
| You just got to get through it, and then this is going to be an awesome little milestone for you to show how much better you got from the first one and show that you're working. | ||
| That's all I want to show, yeah. | ||
| And one thing that's really important to note is that any time you watch anyone do stand-up on a video, that is maybe at its Best, 60 to 70% of what it's like to experience that live. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Live is so much better for stand-up. | ||
| I mean, if you think about like Bring the Pain or Bigger and Blacker, two of Chris Rock's earlier masterpieces, can you imagine what it would be like to be there in that audience live while he was filming that and just slaying? | ||
| Bro, you remember when Martin Lawrence was Martin Lawrence? | ||
| I used to have to follow him. | ||
| I've told you about that. | ||
| I used to have to follow him in the 90s. | ||
| I used to eat dick after dick. | ||
| When he was Martin Lawrence, bro. | ||
| Yes, when he was wearing leather jumpsuits. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I used to have to follow him. | ||
| Sweating his ass off. | ||
| And I wasn't that good. | ||
| I mean, I just was not ready to be following him. | ||
| It was just one of those Mitzi Shore things. | ||
| Mitzi Shore knew how to test you as a comic. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And with me, it's like if anyone big from out of town, any major headliner, any movie star, and they're doing stand-up, I'm going on after them. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| I think that's the athlete in us. | ||
| I think that's the competitive athlete advantage we have is doing stand-up. | ||
| I'm the exact same way. | ||
| But Mitzi made me do it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm telling you, even if she didn't make you do it, I bet you would do it. | ||
| Knowing you, I bet your DNA, you would rise to the occasion. | ||
| Whether it went good or bad, you'd want that for yourself. | ||
| Because you know, with training partners, when I was going through camp, whether it's Cro Cop, Gonzaga, Mitrione, LeVar Johnson, whoever the fuck it is, Ben Rothwell, I would... | ||
| I wouldn't shy away from the toughest challenge because I knew that would make me better. | ||
| So with stand-up, it's like, yeah, let me go after Rogan or Delia or Theo or Joey Diaz. | ||
| I know, like, yeah, it might not go great for me, but I know it's... | ||
| That's how you're going to grow. | ||
| That's how I'm going to grow as a comic. | ||
| Same thing the other night with Louis C.K. You look at the lineup and David Lucas followed him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And David Lucas loved him to fucking death. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| But, you know, he's always on his phone. | ||
| He didn't realize he was following Louis C.K. And he's back, you know, all the comics are watching him, he's still on his phone, you know, whatever the fuck he does. | ||
| And he goes, oh shit, I'm next! | ||
| It hit him like five minutes before I had to go on. | ||
| He goes, oh shit, I'm next! | ||
| He goes, yeah dude, by design. | ||
| Because you're going to... | ||
| Louie's dark and dirty. | ||
| You're dark and dirty, but you're a machine gun, dude. | ||
| So if you just fire off from the jump, that's what you're going to do. | ||
| He's going to warm him up, crush. | ||
| You're going to follow that, dude. | ||
| And he had just such a breakthrough. | ||
| I'm telling you, man, me and David had never hugged before. | ||
| He came in the back of the green room. | ||
| We embraced like he won the fucking Super Bowl, dude. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I grabbed his big ass, and he's lost weight too, man. | ||
| Has he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He talked about that last night, about that set, how big of a set it was. | ||
| For a young comic to follow a guy like Louie, that's a big deal. | ||
| Breakthrough. | ||
| Yeah, and it's also like the Louie that you're experiencing now. | ||
| It's like the Louie that had everything taken away from him, and now he's back to what he really is, which is just a really funny, really talented comic. | ||
| All of his craziness in the past, put it aside, when you watch him on stage is a really, really talented stand-up who's only focused on that, not doing other stuff. | ||
| There's only three guys, four, I'd say five, who knows. | ||
| As far as the craft, if you're watching football, it's Tom Brady, you're watching basketball, it's fucking LeBron or whoever. | ||
| In stand-up, it's like you... | ||
| Yeah, you want to see a guy like him. | ||
| Yeah, it's like you, Louie, Joey, Diaz, you know, Chris Rock's brother, what's his name? | ||
| Tony. | ||
| Tony. | ||
| Tony Rock's a murderer. | ||
| Bro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Murderer. | |
| Dude, I know a lot of people, give him his credit. | ||
| I've never seen anybody crush harder in the main room at the comedy store than Tony Rock do. | ||
| Tony Rock is the guy that has the opposite thing. | ||
| There's a whole thing where if you say that, oh, you're Chris Rock's brother, oh, you got an easy road into comedy. | ||
| It's the opposite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Tony Rock should be way more famous than he is. | ||
| I think one of the things that held Tony Rock back is that he's Chris Rock's brother. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| When your brother's one of the greatest of all time, people don't realize how good he is. | ||
| As far as a writer goes... | ||
| Top of the food chain. | ||
| Top of the food chain stand-up. | ||
| A monster. | ||
| Yeah, a monster. | ||
| Dude, in the main room. | ||
| Murderer. | ||
| I went on right before him. | ||
| I got off. | ||
| I watched from the back. | ||
| I'm like, I want to see Chris... | ||
| I apologize for this. | ||
| I want to see Chris Rock's brother. | ||
| I want to see what he has. | ||
| Hopefully he's good. | ||
| It's Chris Rock's fucking brother. | ||
| Dude, I've never... | ||
| You know, I've been around the comics as a fucking fan, as a comic. | ||
| I've seen some sets, man. | ||
| I've never seen anybody, including Joey Diaz, who brings a house down. | ||
| I've never seen anybody than Tony Rock. | ||
| Kill Harder. | ||
| It was a Sarah Mello show on a fucking Tuesday night. | ||
| Crush Harder in my life. | ||
| There's levels, man. | ||
| There's a certain level that you can't achieve. | ||
| You can't get past. | ||
| There's a certain level of fun. | ||
| Yeah, you got a ceiling, dude. | ||
| And I watched them and went, holy fuck. | ||
| There's certain guys, yeah. | ||
| Sometimes I'll watch Neil Brennan, the way he writes. | ||
| Britney Schmidt, the way that she writes. | ||
| You look at it and you're like, holy fuck, dude. | ||
| Well, that's the beauty of being surrounded by talented people. | ||
| So you do get to see all these different ways of doing it. | ||
| I just really think that it's important that we respect this thing as an art form because it's kind of like loosely connected to any structure. | ||
| Everybody's just running around, doing their own thing, doing shows. | ||
| And one of the things that I was thinking about with this club is that I just want... | ||
| I want everybody to know that there's something valuable about looking at this as an art form and looking at this as, like, this should be studied. | ||
| And there's a lot of information that we could pass on to each other, and there's a lot of information that we could pass on to people in the future because it's not as documented. | ||
| In terms of the way it's loved, it's not nearly as documented as a lot of the other art forms that are loved. | ||
| Because it's more complicated to achieve success at. | ||
| There's maybe, maybe a thousand comedians on earth worth a fuck. | ||
| I think even a thousand. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| But maybe. | ||
| Let's just get crazy and say maybe there's a bunch of people that I don't know about. | ||
| How many authors are there? | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| There's a lot more. | ||
| Musicians? | ||
| How many musicians? | ||
| How many doctors? | ||
| How many lawyers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Actors? | |
| Yeah, there's a lot more. | ||
| It is a weird, strange road and one of the most difficult roads in all of show business to achieve success through. | ||
| It's a strange road. | ||
| And I don't think it's been documented enough. | ||
| I don't think we've spent enough time talking about it amongst each other. | ||
| And in a way that is like where a young person coming up can watch like a whole series of conversations that just pertain to the development of your act, the life of your career, how things emerged, how it started, where you went wrong, where you went right, what changed things for the better. | ||
| But now the material's out there, man. | ||
| It's all documented. | ||
| Like someone could put it together. | ||
| You've had enough on you, tapping out. | ||
| Tapped out. | ||
| How long did I have it in there? | ||
| Four deep, daddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four deep. | |
| Shout out to Rogue. | ||
| I gotta eat the fuck out of here. | ||
| Let's run this down. | ||
| My brother, I love you. | ||
| Congratulations on your special. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Tell everybody. | ||
| It's on YouTube, Thick Boy. | ||
| Thick Boy YouTube is where it's at. | ||
| It's the Gringo Poppy. | ||
| If you use the hashtag, the Gringo Poppy, and you post whatever, you're watching it, we're gonna blast that out, and then Our favorite viewing party picture on Instagram using the hashtag thegringopoppy. | ||
| You get a signed bottle of Tiger Thick and a signed poster of the gringopoppy, the official poster. | ||
| And when is it out? | ||
| It's out today. | ||
| Today. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thursday morning, 9 a.m. | ||
| It dropped on YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| Thick Boy YouTube. | ||
| There it is, dude. | ||
| We're at 70,000 in five hours, so we're doing the goddamn thing, dude. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Shot in Dallas. | ||
| If you want the whiskey, go to Thickboy.com. | ||
| You'll see it there. | ||
| Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters. | ||
| They're the one who are supplying it, but I love you, man. | ||
| I love you, too. | ||
| I'll be in Charlotte next week, May 5th through the 7th. | ||
| Where's the comedy dates? | ||
| What's your best website to go to? | ||
| Thickboy.com or F-A-T-K-Z.com, and everything's on Thickboy. | ||
| Food Truck Diaries, Shop Show, King Sting in the Wing. | ||
| Keep hustling! | ||
| Keep hustling, Brendan Schaub! | ||
| I love it! | ||
| Can't stop, won't stop. | ||
| Love you, man. |
Export Selection