March 22, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:27:11
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unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day Oh, that's what the British would say, a proper cigar lighter Was that your British accent? | |
| That was terrible. | ||
| Can't tell if I'm from New Zealand, Britain, Scotland. | ||
| No, it was a shit. | ||
| How many people that don't know you're from Australia think you're British? | ||
| I never get it. | ||
| I always get Australian. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I've never been called anything else. | ||
| Maybe New Zealand or British once, but... | ||
| That's amazing because you lived in Florida for a year. | ||
| That basically is another country. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck's going on in the rest of the world. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Florida, it's like 1985 and they just said, no, we're just going to stay here. | ||
| Everything's fluorescent and the buildings haven't been updated since. | ||
| Everything's strange. | ||
| What part of Florida are you living in? | ||
| We're in Orlando for a year. | ||
| Oh, okay, so that's Disneyland. | ||
| That's a weird place anyway, Disney World. | ||
| That's a weird place anyway because it's all Disney-fied. | ||
| Yeah, that's like Disney, like half the people work for Disney in Orlando just walking around and stuff. | ||
| It's a strange place. | ||
| I enjoyed the time that we were there, but I'm glad that we're leaving. | ||
| Sorry, Orlando. | ||
| It's a fun place to stay during the pandemic, I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, everything was open. | ||
| Because they act like it's not real. | ||
| Well, no, nothing happened there. | ||
| There was no pandemic. | ||
| Everyone just lived their lives and carried on and went to boat regattas and made out with each other in the streets. | ||
| Yeah, I was talking to Stanhope. | ||
| Stanhope, by the way, never got COVID, which is amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He probably got COVID 20 years ago and has had it that whole time or something. | ||
| A joke he has. | ||
| He says he's been experiencing COVID-like symptoms for the past 30 years. | ||
| But he was traveling to Wyoming and Montana, and they were like, you know, we never had any restrictions. | ||
| There's places that just never locked anything down. | ||
| I wonder if there's... | ||
| I mean, was... | ||
| No, I was going to say Hawaii, but Hawaii was pretty locked down, wasn't it? | ||
| They're still locked down. | ||
| I was just there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I was there last week, and they made me put a mask on in the gym. | ||
| I'm like, well, cut the shit. | ||
| I'm in the restaurant. | ||
| I don't have to wear a mask. | ||
| I'm in the gym. | ||
| I do? | ||
| Like, where's the logic? | ||
| Tell me what... | ||
| Because I'm breathing harder? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| COVID doesn't go into the restaurant. | ||
| You have to get tested to even get into the fucking state. | ||
| Like, you have to have a test. | ||
| You do a PCR test to get into the state. | ||
| So they know you don't have COVID. And then you get there. | ||
| No one has COVID there. | ||
| Everybody in the resort will stay at the Four Seasons. | ||
| Everybody has been tested. | ||
| It's very nice. | ||
| Very nice place. | ||
| Nice gym, too. | ||
| But it's fucking, it's preposterous. | ||
| And not only that, you're wearing this surgical mask. | ||
| These fucking stupid paper masks don't do a goddamn thing anyway. | ||
| When I talked to Michael Osterholm, the infectious disease expert, he was explaining why these N95 masks work. | ||
| He's like, that's what you want. | ||
| If you really think you're in contact with something and you want to, like, prevent any kind of infection, he goes, you should have an N95 mask. | ||
| What is he saying about something about the magnetic, something about it? | ||
| Electrostatic charger. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And somehow or another, it literally, like, stops the particles in the mask itself. | ||
| I'm like, oh. | ||
| And that's the only one that does it. | ||
|
unidentified
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That makes sense. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Wearing your underpants on your face doesn't work. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
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It doesn't work. | |
| It's a face diaper. | ||
| It's fucking so stupid. | ||
| And not only that, a lot of people were wearing... | ||
| This fucking guy at the gym, where they said it was okay with him, he had a face shield. | ||
| So this guy has a thing. | ||
| A clear thing? | ||
| Yeah, clear thing. | ||
| What is the point of that? | ||
| Goes down like this. | ||
| And there's a big gap. | ||
| There's this big gap underneath. | ||
| You can go in there and pick your nose. | ||
| It doesn't make any... | ||
| It's like, we're in clown world. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is crazy. | |
| So he's okay, but I have to put on this surgical thing. | ||
| Maybe he has other issues. | ||
| Maybe people spit in his face a lot. | ||
| He's like, I can't do this anymore. | ||
| I need a face shield. | ||
| He just walks around insulting everybody. | ||
| I guess I need some protection from this. | ||
| He was on the fucking stair machine. | ||
| I'm like, come on, bro. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| That's like a cat that hides under a table, but you can still see his tail. | ||
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unidentified
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I'm like, if I can see you, bro! | |
| My cats do that. | ||
| They're terrible hiding. | ||
| They run under the couch and half of their ass and their tail's out, and they go, it was a good try that I can fully see you. | ||
| They're like, if I can't see you, you can't see me. | ||
| It's like closing your eyes as a kid. | ||
| You can't see me. | ||
| But I was getting shitty the other day because I was on the plane and the mask was, because I've been traveling a lot, I was getting a pimple on my nose from wearing a mask on it. | ||
| And I just didn't want a pimple on my nose because who does? | ||
| And so I was just letting it hang down there and just everyone was coming up. | ||
| Up off your nose, please, sir. | ||
| And I just wanted to go, I've got a pimple. | ||
| Can you just please let me... | ||
| As if. | ||
| As if that makes any sense. | ||
| I mean, that is one of the more preposterous things that people have just accepted during this pandemic. | ||
| And follow the science. | ||
| Follow the science. | ||
| Well, please follow the science on that. | ||
| Because unless everybody has an N95 mask and it's fucking properly fitted, tight to your face... | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| Do you remember seeing the guy at the very start of pandemic surfing out in Malibu with a face mask on? | ||
| No, but I do remember the guy who was paddle boarding who got arrested. | ||
| Oh, do you remember those boats chasing him and shit? | ||
| It was unreal. | ||
| In the middle of the fucking ocean by himself and they arrested him. | ||
| They had a helicopter come and then the two boats came. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| We lost our fucking mind. | ||
| It shows you how goofy people really are if something goes sideways. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people are not prepared. | ||
| We can't trust people in masses. | ||
| Not just not in masses, but even the government. | ||
| The people that are in charge of policing. | ||
| The fact that the police didn't say, hey, hey, hey, we're not, the Coast Guard didn't say this, we're not going to go out and arrest a fucking paddleboard of guys. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| This is like deep enough into the pandemic that there was already data on outdoor passing of the virus. | ||
| And outdoor transmission was almost non-existent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is not where it's happening. | ||
| It's happening in closed tight spaces. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where people are breathing on each other. | ||
| And that's the early days of the pandemic where you had to be around each other for a long time to catch it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This new shit, this Omicron, you could like be passing by someone and they sneeze and you got it. | ||
| But it's over now. | ||
| No one's talking about the next variants and stuff. | ||
| It's like COVID got cancelled. | ||
| It had a couple of good seasons, and then the antagonist wasn't powerful enough, so they've gone on to another show. | ||
| Well, luckily, this new variant is very mild, Omicron. | ||
| Although so many people are saying, like, people are still getting hospitalized, but maybe. | ||
| But those people likely are severely compromised, because I had it, and it was... | ||
| Obviously I had the original COVID, but that wasn't that bad for me either. | ||
| But the new COVID is a fucking breeze. | ||
| I don't know which one I had. | ||
| You probably had the Delta. | ||
| Because if you had in October, is this when you had it? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| You probably had Delta. | ||
| I had Delta. | ||
| And then I also had Omicron. | ||
| And Omicron was... | ||
| But again, I had antibodies from Delta. | ||
| Omicron was... | ||
| I couldn't believe it was COVID. I mean, I had like sniffles. | ||
| And I was like, really? | ||
| And then the next day, I was negative. | ||
| I tested negative the next day. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| Did you do all the same shit? | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| Vitamin ID, IV drips, monoclonal antibodies, everything. | ||
| That's the ticket, I think, is the monoclonal antibodies. | ||
| I went to try and get them, but it was like $1,200 or something, and I just went... | ||
| Well, they're supposed to be free. | ||
| They're free in a lot of places. | ||
| They were free in Texas. | ||
| They were free in Florida. | ||
| I don't know how the health system works here, and I don't know what I've got, and I'm not a citizen. | ||
| I don't know what I'm allowed to do. | ||
| Are you illegal? | ||
| Are you married yet? | ||
| Did you get married yet? | ||
| I am, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so you're legal now. | ||
| You married an American. | ||
| Good job, by the way. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You chose wisely. | ||
| I had a green card before that, so... | ||
| Because I came here on what was an 01 working visa and then after three years or something like that you can get the green card. | ||
| Is it hard for a comic to get a working visa in America? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's hard for anyone to get a working visa. | ||
| But I think as a comic, like, there's not that many of us. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| You have to... | ||
| It says on the form you have to prove that you're an alien of exceptional ability and you can do a job here that no one else can do here. | ||
| So you have to prove... | ||
| This is what it says. | ||
| I had to prove... | ||
| To the government here, that me not being here was an injustice to the entertainment industry. | ||
| Like, they were, you know, doing... | ||
| Well, if you want someone to tell comedy about being from Australia and moving to America, there's you and Jim Jefferies. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, it's just us. | ||
| Who the fuck else is out there? | ||
| There's a few, but not that are touring around as much as, like, Jim and I are. | ||
| And, you know, there's a couple in L.A. and probably New York that I don't... | ||
| I don't know anybody else but you guys. | ||
| There's a couple in LA that are good, but, you know, they're just... | ||
| I believe it, but I mean, as far as, like, people that I'm aware of... | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I know you, and I know Jim. | ||
| Jim and I are the only ones who are touring around the country. | ||
| So, they should probably shut the fuck up and give you a green card. | ||
| Well, they did, but it just... | ||
| It took a lot of time and money. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| It just took money. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| It's a business. | ||
| It's a whole industry. | ||
| It was like 20 grand all up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa! | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, for the O1 and the green card combined, I spent about $20,000 to live here in the land of the free. | ||
| Is it for lawyers? | ||
| I'm including everything. | ||
| It's lawyers. | ||
| I had to fly back to Australia to go to the consulate there to get the thing and stuff, so I'm including all of that, all the bullshittery. | ||
| You had to fly back home, get some paperwork. | ||
| They couldn't fax that? | ||
| Some people go to Canada or Mexico and just get out of the country and do it there and stuff, but it was just easier for me to go back home. | ||
| Do people still fax? | ||
| There's three people that still fax, and they just fax each other. | ||
| They go, hey, you still got the fax machine? | ||
| And he goes, yep, got it. | ||
| I remember, I think I had an app on my phone that faxed during the early days. | ||
| It might have been on a Blackberry. | ||
| I might be making this up now. | ||
| I think maybe it was an Android phone. | ||
| There are fax apps. | ||
| Is that correct, Jamie? | ||
| Am I making this up? | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| Like DocuSend type things or something. | ||
| DocuSend is like, oh, that's different than DocuSign. | ||
| DocuSign makes me laugh. | ||
| Every time I have to DocuSign something, because I just click on this little thing, and it just says my name, and it's not my real signature, but it's like a fake version of my signature. | ||
| It's one they've generated. | ||
| But, like, I'm doing this for, like, giant deals. | ||
| Like big, important things worth a shit ton of money. | ||
| And I'm just like, click, there's my fake signature. | ||
| Click, there's my fake signature. | ||
| Is this your signature, sir? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| When are we going to stop doing this? | ||
| When are we going to stop signing? | ||
| There are fax apps, but I'm reading what they do. | ||
| It sounds like they just kind of send email. | ||
| They're like sending pictures of PDFs to each other. | ||
| But I was thinking about something that was years ago. | ||
| I know what you mean. | ||
| But yeah, these still sort of do that. | ||
| If there's a machine you can send it to, then yeah, it'll turn on and probably start spitting out a piece of paper. | ||
| Because I kind of remember back in the transition. | ||
| I've always been an early adapter of technology. | ||
| And now I'm starting to shy away from that and want to be less technologically involved. | ||
| But I was getting into that. | ||
| I was like, ooh, maybe I could do it all for my phone. | ||
| I think there was a thing back then. | ||
| Yeah, like scanned documents and it looked like it had been faxed. | ||
| Is that what you're talking about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like scanned it and then you could send it and it would show up. | ||
| Like you could send it to a... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I might be making this up. | ||
| It's one of the memories that's like, that's not a good memory. | ||
| I remember doing those kind of things. | ||
| Particularly if I'm doing a job, an acting job or something, and they say, can you fax all your stuff? | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| How am I meant to do that? | ||
| You know how you have memories that are not that good? | ||
| You're like, I don't know if this is a real one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you start telling a story that happened to you to the person that that story happened to and they go, that was my story. | ||
| You go, oh, sorry. | ||
| Thought that happened to me. | ||
| Louis C.K. has a great bit about that. | ||
| About you add a bunch of stuff to it and you tell it to the person. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| You're a liar. | ||
| Did you watch Louie's new special? | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Isn't it great? | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| It's just classic old Louie. | ||
| You know what he is? | ||
| He's your dirty uncle at the Christmas table who's being just a little bit gross. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's just so fun to watch. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| He's got a certain amount of freedom now that he's been, like, royally cancelled. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And the wonderful thing is the backdrop that has giant lit-up letters that says, sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sorry. | |
| And he comes out and is kind of like, that's his look, like, I'm sorry, I did it, and let's just move on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some people don't want to accept it. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The idea that you don't want to ever allow a person to apologize and come back from something, it's like... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, are you without fail? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if someone goes digging into your life? | ||
| There's no one who's not going to get. | ||
| No. | ||
| Especially if some people have some distorted versions of what happened with you. | ||
| We're talking about memories, like my memory of this fax thing. | ||
| People have fucking... | ||
| Memories are shit. | ||
| This is the thing about memory, and Neil deGrasse Tyson is really into this, because we had a conversation about it in regards to crimes. | ||
| When someone is an eyewitness of a crime, he's like, that is the least reliable piece of evidence. | ||
| But they don't accept it in court, right? | ||
| Eyewitnesses get, listen man, people, they arrest people all the time when they do a police lineup and it's the wrong person. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| Where someone could be assaulted and they'll look at a police lineup and be sure that this is the guy that did it to them. | ||
| And it's not. | ||
| And that person winds up going to jail. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| They get tried. | ||
| They get convicted wrongly. | ||
| You know, the problem with it is, and I've been working with Josh Dubin, who's an ambassador for the Innocence Project. | ||
| There's a real problem with once the ball is in motion, like once you get arrested for a crime and then the prosecuting attorneys and then the defense attorneys get involved and then the DA and there's a game that's going on and the game is the prosecutors are trying to prove you guilty. | ||
| And your defense attorney is trying to prove you innocent. | ||
| And they're trying to win. | ||
| Both sides are trying to win. | ||
| And when people try to win, they withhold evidence. | ||
| They hide data. | ||
| They find out that there might be something that could exonerate you. | ||
| I mean, that was the thing with Kamala Harris. | ||
| This is something that Dubin talked about on my podcast. | ||
| When she was the DA in San Francisco, She withheld, she was fighting to withhold evidence that would exonerate innocent people. | ||
| This is a thing they do on a regular basis. | ||
| This is a real problem with the justice system. | ||
| And when you talk with a guy like Dubin, who does this work with the Innocence Project and regularly frees people. | ||
| The last podcast we did, not the last one, but the time before, two people were freed. | ||
| Because of the podcast? | ||
| Yeah, people that were going to fucking die on death row. | ||
| They were freed. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because of the pressure that the podcast put on these places where these people had been arrested. | ||
| What do they have to gain from that? | ||
| What does she have to gain from... | ||
| They try to win, man. | ||
| They want to win as many cases as they can. | ||
| They don't want to lose. | ||
| First of all, if you lose, then you open yourself up to civil litigation because if someone was wrongly accused and then incarcerated for years, then there's lawsuits and all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| But there's a lot of that going on. | ||
| And he has a podcast about junk science. | ||
| There's a lot of science that, until I talked to him, I thought was... | ||
| Rock solid. | ||
| Like, bite marks. | ||
| When they find, like, if someone bites someone and they say, oh, these are your teeth. | ||
| He's like, there is no fucking way they know if it's your teeth. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| He's like, the tearing of, like, teeth on flesh. | ||
| This is not, like, a fingerprint. | ||
| Fingerprints are rock solid. | ||
| Like, if you put a fingerprint on something, you know, that's why you can open up your phone. | ||
| I have an Android phone that I open with a fingerprint. | ||
| I put my fingerprint on it, bang, it knows it's me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not the case with a bite mark, man. | ||
| And they tried to play it off like it was. | ||
| He's like, it's not. | ||
| It doesn't work that way. | ||
| Do you know koalas have the same fingerprints as humans and they get confused with them at crime scenes all the time? | ||
| Like with human fingerprints and koala fingerprints. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa. | |
| And then they go, actually, we can't tell if it was the koala or that guy, so we're just going to have to let this go or whatever they do. | ||
| If you killed a koala and used his hands to open doors and shit. | ||
| Putting it up into the thing. | ||
| Put the knife in the koala hand and stab somebody with it. | ||
| It was the koala! | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| I think it's a person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Aren't koalas cunts if they don't get the eucalyptus leaves? | ||
| Yeah, but they get their eucalyptus leaves. | ||
| I mean, they get what they want. | ||
| But I heard if you don't feed them, they look cute. | ||
| But if they're not getting their leaves, they're a fucking bear. | ||
| Yeah, they're brutal. | ||
| And they kind of like... | ||
| But they're stoned for 23 hours of the day. | ||
| They're stoned? | ||
| Yeah, eucalyptus leaves have a mild sedative in them. | ||
| So they eat all these leaves and they're sitting there. | ||
| And they fall out of trees all the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like, that's the thing that happens. | ||
| They get high and fall out of trees? | ||
| Yeah, they just get high and they just go... | ||
| That's an Australian animal. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's the only place on earth where they are. | ||
| I mean, it seems like an Australian animal. | ||
| You know, it gets high and falls out of trees. | ||
| Yeah, like it's a bit silly. | ||
| They got a little drunk at the Christmas party and fell off the thing. | ||
| Kangaroos turn totally Australian animal. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| They don't make any sense. | ||
| It's like God fucked a horse up or something and just went, oh shit, put that down there for now. | ||
| And they taste good. | ||
| Oh, it's great meat. | ||
| It is really good. | ||
| You could buy kangaroo in supermarkets in Australia. | ||
| That's a very accessible meat. | ||
| Well, it seems like there's a real problem with them because they don't have predators and there's so many of them. | ||
| They're like deer. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of deer in this country, I assume. | ||
| And there's a lot of kangaroos. | ||
| Not a lot of koalas. | ||
| Around here, there's a lot of deer. | ||
| In Texas, they're everywhere, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm always slamming on my brakes. | ||
| Are you allowed to go out and shoot them or is there a... | ||
| Well, you can't shoot them in residential neighborhoods. | ||
| There's some residential neighborhoods where they actually offer archery permits for hunting because they get so bad. | ||
| But I've only heard about that in Connecticut and a few other places. | ||
| There was a television show in Connecticut or Pennsylvania. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| But there was a television show where people were hunting deer in people's driveways. | ||
| They'd set up a blind station. | ||
| What kind of television show is this? | ||
| I was watching it on TV. It was like a hunting show. | ||
| And they were hunting. | ||
| It was like Suburban Deer Hunter or some shit like that. | ||
| And they were hunting because they have so many of them. | ||
| And they are wild animals and they are delicious. | ||
| And the people, they do have to kill them because they cause car accidents. | ||
| Millions of dollars of damage every year are caused by people hitting deer with their cars. | ||
| Same with kangaroos. | ||
| You hit a kangaroo, your car's done for. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Bro, those big ones? | ||
| The big ones. | ||
| The big red ones, they're six foot tall. | ||
|
unidentified
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They're huge. | |
| They're fucking huge. | ||
| They're jacked, too. | ||
| They're jacked. | ||
| Jacked! | ||
| Yeah, steroids. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Until the internet came around. | ||
| I don't think anybody knew the kangaroos were jacked in America. | ||
| We did. | ||
| You guys knew. | ||
| Well, I remember when I was a kid, I saw two kangaroos having a boxing fight and they were six foot and they were punching each other in the face. | ||
| But what they do is they get on their tails and they put all of their weight onto their tails and they kick and punch. | ||
| The kick will actually kill you. | ||
| They can gut you, right? | ||
| Completely. | ||
| If you got kicked full by a big red kangaroo, you're dead. | ||
| The punches, their arms are like T-Rex arms. | ||
| They're kind of funny. | ||
| But the kicks, oof. | ||
| Well, you've seen that video of the one that has the dog in a headlock and the guy comes over and punches the kangaroo. | ||
| I've tried to see if it's set up or whether it's fake. | ||
| I think it's real. | ||
| I think it's real. | ||
| That guy got off light. | ||
| He got lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I wondered why the kangaroo had the dog in a headlock. | ||
| It doesn't really make any sense. | ||
| It's not really a thing that a kangaroo would do. | ||
| Well, they get each other in headlocks, don't they? | ||
| Yeah, but not for long. | ||
| It seemed like he had him in there for a good 10 seconds of that video, like he was just toying with him, you know, like the bully at school, like, hey, look at you, like that. | ||
| And then I was looking and seeing if he had been set up or something, like had been tied up to it to start the video or something, but he hadn't. | ||
| And the guy's demeanor and the way that he kind of punched the kangaroo, it seemed very real. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's real. | ||
| I think it's real. | ||
| And it was a bitch-ass punch, too. | ||
| It was kind of a slap punch, wasn't it? | ||
| Well, it wasn't. | ||
| Well, it was a kangaroo. | ||
| He's probably not even sure what he's doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, am I gonna fucking get out of here? | |
| He's probably like half sure of what he's doing while he's doing it. | ||
| He's punching a fucking wild animal. | ||
| I know. | ||
| When you see those pictures of the kangaroos up against some old lady's, you know, back door, just, she act like that, like, let me in! | ||
| Just staring. | ||
| This old lady's like, oh god! | ||
| They're freaky big. | ||
| You know Eddie Eft? | ||
| Do you know Eddie Eft? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Eddie, he spent some time in Australia, and he told me that he had, you know, when he first went over there, he had no idea. | ||
| And he was in someone's backyard, and he saw a kangaroo that was just standing there, and he thought it was a statue. | ||
| And he starts walking, because it's like, they're not that big. | ||
| So he starts walking over to it, and it's just looking at him. | ||
| His friend starts screaming, get the fuck out of there! | ||
| Come back! | ||
| He's like, that thing will kill you! | ||
| And then he realized, like, oh my god, that's a real kangaroo, and it's like seven feet tall. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking jerked! | |
| Where was he? | ||
| Did he say where he was? | ||
| Australia to me is Australia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's not a six-foot kangaroo walking down the post office in Melbourne. | ||
| Where are they? | ||
| What's the area where they're most prominent? | ||
| I think kangaroos are all over, but I'd say just if you go inland about 20 minutes into the bush, as we would call it. | ||
|
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|
The bush. | |
| The bush. | ||
| Yeah, there's the forest is what you might call it. | ||
| Most of Australia is the coast. | ||
| That's where all the populated areas are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The inner area is just death. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Death. | ||
| Death and nothing. | ||
| And nothing, like not even a tree. | ||
| I did a bunch of comedy tours around because there's mining camps all in the middle of the country. | ||
| And I drove all around it two, three times. | ||
| And you'd go for eight hours without even seeing one shrub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, it's just flat. | ||
| Just flat. | ||
| The Nullarbor. | ||
| And are there animals out there or is it just dirt? | ||
| No, there's animals, but there's a lot of camels. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Camels? | |
| Tons of camels, yeah. | ||
| Were they imported? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| You guys have a lot of imported animals, right? | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Camels is the one that I know most of, and I saw a lot of them. | ||
| And they got out of control, and it was a problem and stuff. | ||
| I read somewhere that we sell our camels to Saudi Arabia, because we've got so many of them, which just seems ridiculous, doesn't it? | ||
| Well, that's like Hawaii is the place where everybody gets the palm trees for LA. Like, people think that LA's palm trees are from LA, because you think of Hollywood, you think of palm trees, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| All of them come from Hawaii. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Over there, Jamie, what's going on? | ||
| Over a million feral camels in Australia. | ||
| The largest population. | ||
| What? | ||
|
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|
The largest population of camels is in Australia? | |
| And the only herd of dromedary camels exhibiting wild behavior in the world. | ||
| Do you know the largest population of tigers is in Texas? | ||
| I knew that just from, you know, the, what was that show? | ||
| Texas, the Tiger King. | ||
| Oh, Tiger King. | ||
| And then, you know, I looked into it and stuff and all that. | ||
| Yeah, there's more tigers in captivity in Texas in private collections, like people's backyards, than there are in all of the wild of the world. | ||
| Oh, that seems very wrong. | ||
| Seems terrible. | ||
| Like you've just got a cage in your backyard with a tiger. | ||
| Tiger world. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Not just a tiger. | ||
| Like, multiple tigers. | ||
| I went to one in Sarasota. | ||
| I went to like a random, like a Tiger King style place. | ||
| And I felt terrible being there. | ||
| I was just like, I don't know if this is good. | ||
| Yeah, I went to Thailand and I really enjoyed Thailand. | ||
| Thailand was great. | ||
| But there was one thing that I did not enjoy. | ||
| And that was a tiger thing. | ||
| They had this... | ||
| Thailand has these places where tourists go and take photos with tigers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they have these tigers on fentanyl, and these tigers are like whacked out on drugs, just like, oh. | ||
| Yeah, some bad shit goes on. | ||
| They're barely awake, and you stand next to the tiger and take a selfie. | ||
| Hey, met a tiger! | ||
| It's fucking weird, because they have different age tigers, and so there's one area where they take you to in the beginning, and this area, this was around Chiang Mai, and in this one area they have baby tigers. | ||
| So you go in this area, and there's little tiger cubs, and they're adorable. | ||
| But they're real fast, and they're moving, and they're looking at you. | ||
| They're pouncing on top. | ||
| They're like kittens. | ||
| They're playing with stuff. | ||
| And then you go from that to this other area. | ||
| And in this other area is like a larger tiger. | ||
| It's like a year old or something, maybe a little bit more. | ||
| And in that one, you've got guys with sticks, and they're keeping the tiger away from you. | ||
| You can kind of sit next to him, but people are watching the tiger carefully. | ||
| Isn't it funny, the safety precautions in places like Thailand or Indonesia or something, and they just go, it's fine, I've got this stick, it'll be alright. | ||
| Yeah, there's a zip line, and you climb up this rusty ladder. | ||
| Who's testing this line? | ||
| This is a piece of steel. | ||
| So anyway, you go into that area, and there's guys with sticks that are kind of making sure this tiger doesn't fucking eat a kid, right? | ||
| And then from there, you go to the big tigers. | ||
| And the big tigers are all fine. | ||
| Because they're all drugged up. | ||
|
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|
They're all drugged up. | |
| They're all like this. | ||
| Like, seriously. | ||
| Like, they can barely keep their head up. | ||
| I used to work at a place in Australia on the Gold Coast called Dream World. | ||
| And their thing was tigers. | ||
| They had tigers there. | ||
| And I would start work before the park opened. | ||
| It's like a Disneyland-type place. | ||
| And I worked in a hot dog stand, killing it. | ||
| And they'd walk the tigers around the whole park in the morning. | ||
| So I would see all of the tigers, like 20 of them, huge ones, getting walked on chains by their handlers through the park. | ||
| But they were really well accustomed and probably grew up in captivity and were used to humans and stuff. | ||
| So I could go up and pat them and stuff like that. | ||
| And they weren't drugged? | ||
| They weren't drugged. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I don't think we would get away with that in Australia. | ||
| You have to be in other parts of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what kind of rules Thailand has, but it was really depressing. | ||
| I haven't been to Thailand, but I spent a lot of time in Bali in Indonesia. | ||
| Have you ever been there? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I heard it's awesome. | ||
| It's exactly the same as Thailand, but it's just got surf, so I would spend more time in Bali rather than Thailand. | ||
| But a lot of Australians there. | ||
| I'm sure you bumped into a lot in Thailand, right? | ||
| Well, there was a lot of people from all over the world there. | ||
| There was a lot of just people vacationing there. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was pretty cool. | ||
| Thailand's very interesting. | ||
| Because people are, like, they call it the land of smiles, or the land of smiling people, I forget what they say, but it's like, God, everyone's so friendly. | ||
| Like, they're really friendly people, and they're not just friendly to tourists, like, friendly to each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It seems like a happy place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is kind of odd, because they created, like, one of the best fighting styles ever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Muay Thai. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That style of stand-up fighting is one of the best stand-up fighting styles that's ever been created. | ||
| And it's wild that that fighting comes from this place where these people are so friendly. | ||
| But was it like born in the hills, like away from... | ||
| Muay Thai? | ||
| Yeah, or just in general in Thailand. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I should know. | ||
| Being, you know, a martial arts expert, I should probably fucking know. | ||
| It was a very specific question. | ||
| Exactly where in Thailand did it start? | ||
| Like, I just wonder, because I know that in Bali, and I'm only saying this because I haven't been to Thailand, but they're very closely related, so things that happen in the main areas of Bali and things that happen out in the hills in the middle is very, very different. | ||
| Mm. | ||
| Very different lifestyle, very different way people act and everything. | ||
| They're all lovely people, but they're working out in the middle in the rice fields and stuff, and they don't really care about your bintang singlet that you bought on the beach. | ||
| It's just a different vibe. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, a lot of those places have been so touristified, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, Bali runs on tourism completely. | ||
| Yeah, well, so does Hawaii, right? | ||
| There's a lot of places like that where it's like, you know, it's kind of – it's strange when a lot of your economy is based on people visiting. | ||
| Australia is like that? | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| But you have Melbourne and Sydney. | ||
| Those are cities. | ||
| They have industry and there's a lot going on there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's like when you go to a place that relies heavily on people visiting, those people got crushed during the pandemic. | ||
| Hawaii got crushed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they had really restrictive lockdowns, really restrictive mandates, and then on top of that, no tourism for a long time. | ||
| I bet you the locals liked it. | ||
| No, they did not. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, they did not. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure some of them liked it, but most of them, there's so much industry that relies on tourism. | ||
| Like, I have a friend of mine who was a boat captain out there, and for fucking a year, man, they were hurting. | ||
| There was nothing coming in. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| You know, there's nobody there. | ||
| It's just like everything was shut off, and so it's like most people can't go. | ||
| Well, they say the average American, like two weeks with no income would break them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the pandemic tested the shit out of everything, but in a place where tourism is important, really tested the shit out of it. | ||
| Which is probably one of the main reasons why Florida, which was one of the most tourist-heavy places in America, they were like, fuck it, we're open. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Plus, wild people. | ||
| Wild people. | ||
| Wild people, man. | ||
| That's where Leonard Skinner's from, you know? | ||
| It's where the Florida man's from, funnily enough. | ||
| That's the one state where a man from Florida doing something is like, oh, of course he's from Florida. | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| You can't say that about New Hampshire. | ||
| You can't say that about South Dakota. | ||
| But Florida, you're like, oh. | ||
| The first week we were there, I was just watching the news, and there was an alligator chasing people around a Wendy's parking lot that was down the street from us. | ||
| So we drove past to have a look. | ||
| That's what was going on. | ||
| Dude, an alligator yesterday cannibalized a giant alligator, cannibalized a six-foot alligator on a golf course. | ||
| So they were literally watching this fucking monster eat a smaller monster on a golf course. | ||
| Yeah, see if you can find that. | ||
| It's wild, because this thing is huge. | ||
| Some of those monstrous ones that walk across the golf course and you just think, that is from another era, another life, another earth. | ||
| A hundred million years ago. | ||
| Look at the size of this thing. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Look at the size of this fucker, and he's got a six foot one that's still alive in his mouth. | ||
| No, he's just carrying his young in his mouth. | ||
| So think about how big that thing must be if that fucking thing that he's got in his mouth is six feet long. | ||
| He's got to be 15 feet long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a fucking huge... | ||
| Did they say how big he is? | ||
| Or she? | ||
| I don't want to be sexist. | ||
| You shouldn't. | ||
| It could be a girl. | ||
| 20 feet? | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| He's 20 feet long, and he's feeding on a six-foot alligator. | ||
| It's a claim, but yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Someone who lives on the golf course, I think. | ||
| Grandpappy, they call him. | ||
| So video shows huge Lakeland alligator Grandpappy eating smaller gator on a golf course. | ||
| Holy shit, man. | ||
| What's that to stop... | ||
| I mean, what's to stop you from... | ||
| People don't get eaten that much by alligators, which is weird. | ||
| But the alligator's not running around crazy looking for that kind of thing, don't you think? | ||
| Like, if it wants to, it'll go. | ||
| And they run pretty fast, right? | ||
| But if you run diagonal, then they get confused and freak out and fall over. | ||
| Well, they're not bright. | ||
| Hey, they've lasted from the dinosaurs. | ||
| They've done something. | ||
| Well, they don't have to be bright. | ||
| They just eat rotten meat. | ||
| You know, that's one of the reasons why they lived. | ||
| Elon is actually the first person that said that to me. | ||
| He goes, well, they're actually perfectly suited for a pandemic or for an apocalypse because everything's dead and that's what they eat. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like, whoa. | ||
| Who do you think would win out of, like, a shark and an alligator? | ||
| Or a crocodile? | ||
| Oh, that's a good question. | ||
| Like a great white versus that 20-footer? | ||
| 20-footer shark versus 20-footer crocodile? | ||
| In the water, I would think that the shark would have a big advantage. | ||
| Well, you know what the crocodiles do is they do the crocodile roll, which is they grab you by their teeth like that and then roll down and down and down and down and then they go to the bottom and put a rock on top of you and let you die there and then they come back and get you when you're nice and rotten for them. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they like. | ||
| They like aged meat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you know, you go to a nice steakhouse. | ||
| And they got the blue meat hanging in the window, and you're like, yeah, I want that 200-year-old. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's weird, but they display it. | ||
| They display that dry-aged beef, and it looks fucking gross. | ||
| It looks gross. | ||
| You walk in, and they've just got hanging meat from the 60s, and they're like, hey, why don't you try this? | ||
| I know guys who do that with wild game. | ||
| They do that with elk. | ||
| There's these machines that you can buy. | ||
| They do it with fish, too. | ||
| They age fish. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they dry age fish. | ||
| Apparently, it's delicious. | ||
| Have you seen that bloke that eats just the raw... | ||
| That's a gimmick, that guy. | ||
| It just looks ridiculous. | ||
| He's got a plate of hearts, and it just looks weird. | ||
| He's got an ass filled with steroids, is what he's got. | ||
| Yeah, he should have a big plate of steroids next to it. | ||
| That is not a natural body. | ||
| Of course it's not. | ||
| That guy is shooting all kinds of shit into his system to achieve that kind of physique. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| Yeah, there's this guy, Derek, who's been on my podcast before. | ||
| He's got this YouTube page, moreplatesmoredates.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| There's his website. | ||
| You know that guy? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And More Plates, More Dates, though, the YouTube page did a whole takedown of, not a takedown, but again, an examination of this guy's claims that he's natural and that what he's, you know, is like living off the nine pillars of health and sustainability or whatever the fuck it is, like liver and testicles and drinking blood. | ||
| Like, it's a gimmick. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I mean, look, you know, I don't even know if there's a benefit in eating raw meat. | ||
| From what I've understood, talking to experts, There's actually a lot gained from cooking because the protein becomes more bioavailable. | ||
| Like eating raw meat like that, you're not getting as much of the actual nutrients from it. | ||
| Maybe you're getting some... | ||
| Additional factors from the fact that you're getting a rare piece of meat with blood and stuff like that. | ||
| Maybe there's other things. | ||
| Maybe you're getting too much protein if you're eating a giant steak and it's cooked well. | ||
| But as far as bioavailability, they think that human beings cooking meat is one of the things that led to our evolution, that helped our evolution along because we had more protein access. | ||
| And also it kills off bad bacteria. | ||
| So you could have a piece of meat that was on the outside. | ||
| It's kind of funky, but you cook it and you could eat it. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| I haven't eaten raw meat. | ||
| You never have? | ||
| Have you? | ||
| Yeah, a lot. | ||
| Steak tartare. | ||
| You never had steak tartare? | ||
| Oh, I have. | ||
| I'm lying. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I forgot my own life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's raw. | |
| See? | ||
| It's raw. | ||
| Steak tartare is delicious. | ||
| A little egg on it, and they mix a little cheese in there. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| It's a bit fleshy for me. | ||
| I kind of eat it, and I go, oh, I'm being high class, but in my head I'm going, I'd rather it was cooked. | ||
| I've had raw elk. | ||
| I've had raw deer. | ||
| But I don't prefer it. | ||
| It tastes delicious when you cook it and season it. | ||
| That's the whole deal, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I haven't eaten elk. | ||
| You haven't? | ||
| I don't go shooting elks like you do on a Wednesday and then have a freezer full of elk. | ||
| Next time you're in town, I'll have you and the lady over and we'll cook for you. | ||
| Yeah, she'll love that. | ||
| She's like a vegetarian. | ||
| Well, Ian Edwards is a vegan. | ||
| He promises me when he comes to my house that he'll eat elk. | ||
| He goes, I'll eat it because you killed it. | ||
| She'll eat elk with you because she loves you. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| I'll cook it. | ||
| I'll cook it then. | ||
| Maybe it'll change your life. | ||
| Well, actually, she started eating a bit of red meat and stuff because the doctor said, you know, your iron deficiencies are shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so she got that. | ||
| So she's introducing it back in. | ||
| I don't know how people who are vegan get iron. | ||
| Is there iron that you can get from certain vegetables? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can take supplements, I guess, but there's iron in spinach. | ||
| That's why Popeye is so strong. | ||
| Speaking of which, I found a YouTube video, The Real Life Popeye. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| There's this guy who is like... | ||
| I think he's like 5'8", and he weighs 250 pounds, and it's just natural. | ||
| He just was born with naturally enormous hands and naturally enormous forearms. | ||
| Really? | ||
| When I mean enormous, I mean this guy takes... | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| That's the real-life Popeye. | ||
| Bro, I'm telling you, his fingers are so big. | ||
| Look at the size of his hands and his arms. | ||
| And this is natural. | ||
| He's just born like this. | ||
| So this guy's fingers are so big that a toilet paper roll is tight on his finger. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's how big his finger is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at him. | |
| Play some of this. | ||
| This is a real guy. | ||
| Look at the size of his arms. | ||
| I mean, he really is Popeye. | ||
| But, like, most of him is normal-sized. | ||
| Like, look at his head is normal-sized. | ||
| His neck is normal-sized. | ||
| But his fucking hands are preposterous. | ||
| I wonder if he's got a big cock. | ||
| He says his... | ||
| Wonder all day. | ||
| His forearms measure 49 centimeters. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| Look at the size of his hands! | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| Look at the size of his hands arm wrestling that dude. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at the fucking size of that guy's hands. | ||
| They're literally like five of my hands. | ||
| Dude, he must struggle to wipe his ass. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because of his mittens. | ||
| Try and wipe your ass with a baseball glove. | ||
| It's not like it's stopping his reach. | ||
| Just get a finger in there. | ||
| Your finger, that finger's like... | ||
| Wrap it all up. | ||
| Look at the size of a beer bottle in his hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is fucking crazy. | |
| Look at that beer. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And this guy, it's totally natural. | ||
| He was just born. | ||
| Look at that photo of the woman with her hand next to his hand down there. | ||
| The one in the lower right hand corner. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Look at the size of his hands. | ||
| I mean, and it's just a genetic role. | ||
| You know, some people have big noses. | ||
| Some people have giant dicks. | ||
| This guy's got fucking enormous hands and forearms. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Does he have medical problems? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| No, in the video he talks about it. | ||
| He says, I don't have any aches or pains or nothing hurts. | ||
| He goes, it's normal. | ||
| He was just born. | ||
| That's his wedding ring. | ||
| Look at the size of it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at the toilet paper roll on his finger. | ||
| Like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| And it's just, he was just born that way. | ||
| I'm telling you, he's struggling to wipe his ass. | ||
| I don't know why you're fixated on that. | ||
| You're right, I should move on. | ||
| But what's strange is that the other parts of him aren't proportionately large. | ||
| Like, I don't know how big his feet are, but like, look at, see if it shows his feet. | ||
| Does it show his feet? | ||
| And is there anything? | ||
| Look at that phone! | ||
| Go down and look at the flip phone in his hand. | ||
| You see the flip? | ||
| Look at that fucking thing! | ||
| It looks like a toy thing. | ||
| How is that guy gonna fucking... | ||
| Like, you know that little box you have to click on to get rid of the ad? | ||
| That little tiny little X in the corner that you can barely touch? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's not clicking that. | ||
| With our fingers, we can barely touch it. | ||
| How is that fucking guy finding that thing? | ||
| He is getting that ad every time. | ||
| You know how they trick you? | ||
| Because if you do it the wrong way, you get the ad. | ||
| Look at him, he's normal-sized. | ||
| Everything else is normal. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| His feet look normal feet. | ||
| His legs are normal legs. | ||
| He's got a tiny butt. | ||
| For a big guy, it's a small butt, right? | ||
| I mean, I don't want to fixate either. | ||
| Yeah, we've both been focusing on his ass a little bit too much. | ||
| That looks like a big foot. | ||
| At least one big foot. | ||
| But it looks like his foot has moved forward. | ||
| Is that a... | ||
| What is going on there? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, that looks kind of weird. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| That seems like a deformity thing. | ||
| Like he's got one large foot and one small foot. | ||
| Is that just a perspective photo? | ||
| So that's weird too. | ||
| No, those shoes look the same size in that picture. | ||
| It's just his legs look weird because the rest of his body is so enormous. | ||
| But apparently he's a champion arm wrestler, which is like not confusing. | ||
| No. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| That's him compared to the biggest guy in the world. | ||
| Oh, the tallest guy ever? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Is that Ripley's Believe It or Not or something hilarious? | ||
| I wonder if that's a real guy in there, like a skeleton. | ||
| Did you know there was a Buddha statue once, and they found out that it was actually a mummified Buddha that they had covered with a statue? | ||
| They did an x-ray on this thing, and inside of it is like an actual Buddha guy, like an actual yogi who was in a lotus position. | ||
| That they did the statue around him. | ||
| Well, that's not that weird. | ||
| Well, it's weird that they didn't know it. | ||
| People had the statue they didn't know was a dead guy outside of it. | ||
| How old was the statue? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Because if it was, you know, I mean, there's tombs and mummies and everything all over the place. | ||
| But look at the statue. | ||
| I think that's unreal. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| That's crazy, right? | ||
| See, like that thing. | ||
| He ain't clicking that thing. | ||
| That little thing in the corner. | ||
| He has to sign up to the History Channel. | ||
| That guy's subscribing. | ||
| He's subscribing every time. | ||
| Could you pull back up to the images again? | ||
| So is a monk, a mummified monk inside an ancient Buddha statue, which is wild, man, because I don't know what the statue's made of, but it looks like, is it like pottery? | ||
| What does that look like? | ||
| Medical examination of a thousand-year-old Buddha statue revealed a shocking surprise hidden inside an actual person's body. | ||
| So, Meander Medical Center in the Dutch town of Amsterfoort. | ||
| Amsterfoort, of course. | ||
| Amsterfoort has plenty of experience treating senior citizens, but none as old as the 1,000-year-old patient who came, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Researchers brought a millennium-old statue of the Buddha, which had been on loan from the Drents Museum in the Netherlands to the state-of-the-art hospital in the hopes that the modern medical technology could shed light on an ancient mystery. | ||
| For hidden inside the gold-painted figure was a secret, the mummy of a Buddhist monk in a lotus position, shown outside of China for the first time last year. | ||
| So how do they know, though? | ||
| That's what's confusing. | ||
| Did they open it up? | ||
| Did they ruin the whole thing and open it up? | ||
| I don't think they did, man. | ||
| Just leave it in there. | ||
| Oh, they sampled the material for DNA, it said. | ||
| Huggerman slid an ancient artifact slowly into a high-tech imaging machine for a full-body CT scan and sampled bone material for DNA testing. | ||
| Gastroenterologist? | ||
| Say that word. | ||
| Gastroenterologist. | ||
| And say his name now. | ||
| Try that. | ||
| Reynoud Verminschladel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Vermageddon. | |
| Used a specially designed endoscope to extract samples from the mummy's chest and abdominal cavities. | ||
| Now it's known the tests have revealed a surprise. | ||
| The monk's organs had been removed and replaced with scraps of paper printed with ancient Chinese characters and other rotted materials since has not been identified. | ||
| How the organs had been taken from the mummy remains a mystery. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I wonder why they knew there was something in there, though. | ||
| Like, that's not normal that you threw a fucking... | ||
| Yeah, you go and do a CT scan of your... | ||
| So, look, scroll up there. | ||
| No, you're right there. | ||
| The body inside the statue is thought to be that of the Buddhist master Liu Quan, a member of the Chinese meditation school who died around A.D. 1100. How did Liu Quan's body end up inside... | ||
| I hope I'm saying that right... | ||
| ...end up inside ancient Chinese statue? | ||
| One possibility explored by the Drent Museum is the gruesome process of self-mummification... | ||
| In which monks hope to transform themselves into revered living Buddhas. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| He put himself in there. | ||
| The practice of self-mummification amongst Buddhist monks was most common in Japan but occurred elsewhere in Asia, including China, as described in Ken Jeremiah's book, Living Buddhas. | ||
| Monks interested in self-mummification spent upwards of a decade following a special diet that gradually starved their bodies and enhanced their chances of preservation. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| They eschewed any food... | ||
| I never know how to say that word because I only read it. | ||
| How do you say that word? | ||
| Eschewed? | ||
| Eschewed. | ||
| That's a word that I've never said. | ||
| Eschewed. | ||
| I'm 54. I've never even seen that word. | ||
| I've seen that word, but I've only read it. | ||
| I've never actually said it out loud. | ||
| Any food made from rice, wheat, and soybeans and instead ate nuts, berries, tree bark, and pine needles. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| They also ate herbs. | ||
| What is that word? | ||
| Sysad? | ||
| Kysad? | ||
| Sysad nuts? | ||
| And sesame seeds to inhibit bacterial growth. | ||
| Holy fuck! | ||
| They drank a poisonous tree sap that was used to make lacquer. | ||
| So that the toxicity would repel insects and pervade the body as an embalming fluid. | ||
| Pervade? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Shit, they went on a 10-year diet to kill themselves. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And turn themselves in. | ||
| But you know, that was a thing with the Buddha. | ||
| Like there's images of the Buddha, like the original Buddha that was like, he was starved to death. | ||
| Have you ever seen those? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They made statues of the Buddha where he was like basically a skeleton. | ||
| They're weird statues. | ||
| And that was, I guess, a part of that process. | ||
| See if you can find any of those skeleton-like Buddha statues. | ||
| How would you say it? | ||
| Starved Buddha statues. | ||
| But that was like a thing that they would make these images of the Buddha in this state where he was apparently probably going through that thing. | ||
| Like, yeah, those. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That looked like something out of Indiana Jones. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| See, go to that Quora thing. | ||
| What does the emaciated body of the Buddhist statue represent? | ||
| They're not really good. | ||
| Not good answers? | ||
| They can be made by anybody, though. | ||
| Well, let's see. | ||
| It represents the six-year period of renunciation that the Buddha practiced from age 20 to 36, approximately 446 to 440 B.C., Based on traditional Indian, especially Saramana, | ||
| belief in self-mortification, before he realized the futility of extreme asceticism and renounced it as well when he was on the verge of dying, So he wised up. | ||
| So the Buddha did the same thing those monks did, and he was like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| He stopped. | ||
| He stopped. | ||
| What the fuck am I doing? | ||
| I'm renouncing this. | ||
| But look, he had gotten to the point of basically almost death. | ||
| So that practice, since, okay, so that's 446 BC, so that statue was older than that. | ||
| So the statue was a thousand years old, right? | ||
| It was a thousand B.C., wasn't it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, it was a thousand years from now. | ||
| So it was a thousand A.D. Right. | ||
| So this was pre-that. | ||
| So that guy was probably, he didn't get the full wire that the Buddha bailed on. | ||
| He didn't get the facts. | ||
| Yeah, he didn't get the full details. | ||
| So he decided, well, the Buddha was a pussy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he quit. | ||
| I'm going to do what the Buddha couldn't do. | ||
| I'm not a fucking quitter. | ||
| I want to be a statue, bitch. | ||
| I'm going to be better than the Buddha. | ||
| But the whole Buddhist monk thing is an odd practice anyway, right? | ||
| Because I'm a dumbass, can you just explain? | ||
| There's more than one Buddha, right? | ||
| Or has been? | ||
| Well, there's the Buddha, who's thought to be the... | ||
| Look at that image of him. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Look at his guts. | ||
| So I was wondering if he was holding something or what that is. | ||
| I think that just represented his hands, man. | ||
| That's his hips, buddy. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| That's no stomach at all. | ||
| His organs have shrunk up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he's got too many ribs, though. | ||
| This bitch just need to take an anatomy lesson. | ||
| Does he have too many ribs? | ||
| How many ribs do you have? | ||
| Do you even know how many ribs? | ||
| Maybe some of it's muscle. | ||
| 26. I made that up completely. | ||
| Because there's muscle up there. | ||
| But they look different than the other one to the left. | ||
| That one looks more realistic. | ||
| Like that one there, the tan looking... | ||
| Yeah, that looks more realistic. | ||
| See, that looks like real ribs. | ||
| Look at these sunken eyes. | ||
| So look at the ribs on that one, and then look at the ribs on that gray one right there. | ||
| That gray one looks fake as fuck. | ||
| It's too many ribs. | ||
| How many ribs do you think you have? | ||
| I don't know how many ribs you have. | ||
| I'm going 26. 26. You mean both sides? | ||
| No, all up. | ||
| 26. I might be thinking of teeth. | ||
| I might be confused. | ||
| I don't know how many teeth you have either. | ||
| But if you think of how many ribs you have on each side, let me guess, without touching my own ribs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I might have gone a bit too many. | |
| I'm going to stick with it. | ||
| I'm going to say 22. I'm going to say 11 on each side. | ||
| 12 on each side? | ||
| Is it 12? | ||
| 12 pairs. | ||
| You're pretty close. | ||
| We were right in the middle. | ||
| You said 22. Yeah, but look at his though. | ||
| Look at that one weird one that we just saw. | ||
| That fucking guy had like 50. How many has he got? | ||
| He's got a shit ton. | ||
| Look at that nice muscle he's got going with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You like that? | |
| Look at that nice muscle he's got going on there. | ||
| Bro, that's skin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That guy probably- That's tendon. | ||
| That probably- That guy can't curl a fucking jar of white out. | ||
| That guy didn't lift. | ||
| He didn't lift. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You lift, bro? | ||
| You lift, bro? | ||
| How many has he got there? | ||
| He's got too many. | ||
| That's too many. | ||
| Count them. | ||
| He looks like Predator. | ||
| He's got too many. | ||
| They put nipples on him, though, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like the Batman suit. | ||
| How many has he got? | ||
| 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. Yeah, he's got too many ribs. | ||
| They didn't know what the fuck they were doing. | ||
| It's all fake. | ||
| Fake news. | ||
| Fake news. | ||
| This is bullshit. | ||
| Fake news, bro. | ||
| But that whole Buddhist monk thing, the suffering thing, is a strange thing. | ||
| I have a friend who became a monk. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I became a monk while I knew him. | ||
| He was a friend of mine from Taekwondo. | ||
| His name was Joe. | ||
| And we used to train together. | ||
| And he just decided at one point in time that he wanted to go to this Buddhism, this Buddhist temple to learn Buddhism and to... | ||
| He wanted to get control over his mind because he got very nervous during sparring and got very nervous when it came time for training and competing. | ||
| He competed a few times too. | ||
| He would just lose his shit. | ||
| And he's like, maybe meditation would help me get through this. | ||
| So he started meditating and taking these Buddhist practices and doing this time at the temple. | ||
| And then switched to a strict vegetarian diet. | ||
| And then completely quit doing Taekwondo and just became a monk. | ||
| And we used to go visit him. | ||
| And we used to go visit Joe the Monk. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Did he live at a monastery? | ||
| Yeah, he lived in a monastery. | ||
| He swept up at a temple. | ||
| It was very odd, because I knew him before that, and he was a guy that we would train with. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| And then over time, he became a monk. | ||
| And, you know, he... | ||
| Silent? | ||
| No, no, he would talk, and he would laugh and joke around with you and stuff. | ||
| But, like, he would only eat vegetables, and he would never speak badly about anyone or anything. | ||
| It was really interesting. | ||
| Did he seem happy? | ||
| Happy is a weird thing. | ||
| What is happy? | ||
| He's incontent. | ||
| He didn't have a mate. | ||
| He didn't have a wife or a boyfriend. | ||
| There was no one in his life. | ||
| It seemed like it was just him and meditation and silence. | ||
| He would like, he had a koan, you know, like there's a thing you're supposed to meditate on. | ||
| I think that's what a koan is. | ||
| And like his was the sound of like, it was like one of those, the sound of one hand clapping thing. | ||
| Oh yeah, right. | ||
| I don't think that was it, but it was that kind of thing. | ||
| A tree falling in the woods. | ||
| Well, you're supposed to think about it constantly, even though it doesn't necessarily make sense. | ||
| And the idea is that through that, you somehow or another achieve enlightenment by focusing on this one thing over and over and over and over again. | ||
| Maybe that's some sort of a brain hack. | ||
| But I remember I was a kid at the time when he did this. | ||
| I was probably 16, something like that. | ||
| It was 15 when I knew him. | ||
| And then maybe like 16, 17 when he became a monk and we would go visit him. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| We'd go to eat with him. | ||
| You'd have to eat vegetables. | ||
| Would he come out and go into wherever you were? | ||
| Yeah, he could go places. | ||
| Into San Francisco and go and have some drinks? | ||
| Yeah, this was in Boston. | ||
| No, he wouldn't have drinks. | ||
| No way. | ||
| He just drank water and tea. | ||
| And he was different, man. | ||
| He was all in. | ||
| He had decided that that was his life, and he was subscribing to all of their belief systems and their practices. | ||
| Did you and your friends ever at any stage think we've got to get him out of there? | ||
| Like maybe he's being brainwashed or something? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, he was older than us, so we weren't in a position to tell him what to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because all of us were around the same age. | ||
| I was the youngest guy, but only about a year or two. | ||
| And I think Joe was like 30-ish. | ||
| So we were teens, early 20s, and this guy was in his 30s. | ||
| And he was hanging around a bunch of teenagers. | ||
| Well, he was training with us. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He wasn't hanging out with us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll take it back. | |
| We were all training at the same Taekwondo school, and he just decided that that was his life. | ||
| And he seemed content, I'll say that. | ||
| Happy is like you're around someone, they got a big smile on their face, they love what they do. | ||
| Happy is you catch a big fish. | ||
| That's happy. | ||
| Whoa, look at that. | ||
| He wasn't that, but he seemed like he was on this path, and this path provided him some sort of clarity or some peace in his life that he seemed was worth sacrificing. | ||
| He didn't have sex, and we were joking around with him about that. | ||
| Like, that's it? | ||
| Forever? | ||
| No more sex? | ||
| Did he jack off? | ||
| No. | ||
| No masturbation? | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| I know, that's what I say. | ||
| Fucking liar. | ||
| Maybe he fucked a pillow. | ||
| You know, maybe he's in a trance. | ||
| You know how monks fuck pillows, you know. | ||
| Yeah, pretended. | ||
| I don't know what he did, you know, but he was the first guy that I ever met that sort of like left society. | ||
| And I remember he stayed at this temple that we knew where the temple was. | ||
| We'd go see him there. | ||
| I've known people that have done that, kind of left society, but not that deep. | ||
| They've gone to a remote island in Indonesia and they just surf. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard of that before. | ||
| Yeah, I know people that have sort of dropped out and live in a small town, live in a log cabin and shit. | ||
| I've thought about it. | ||
| I think it'd be good. | ||
| I'd get too frustrated. | ||
| I think there's something to that. | ||
| There's something to like being in the woods and there's something to just being alone with nature. | ||
| Have you ever seen that Werner Herzog documentary, Happy People? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's a year in the taiga. | ||
| The taiga is... | ||
| Oh, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| But I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| Siberia. | ||
| And one of the things that these guys look forward to is the wintertime when they become trappers and they go to these cabins that they have in the woods and they love it that they're alone. | ||
| And it's just them and their dogs and they're just alone in the woods. | ||
| And they really look forward to it. | ||
| They really look forward to that stillness of nature and being out there and... | ||
| I like my alone time from time to time. | ||
| Do you get any alone time in your life anymore? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Yeah, I get alone time. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| If I'm working on the road, it's a full weekend of, you know, I'm in the hotel room, I'm in the airport by myself, I usually just... | ||
| I like sitting there sometimes and listening to some music and just watching people and seeing how they move around and interact and stuff, and it's interesting. | ||
| Do you get material from that, you think? | ||
| Sometimes, but more so it just kind of relaxes me a little bit. | ||
| This sounds stupid, but if I go into a shopping center or something and sit in the food court and just put music on and just kind of watch people, it kind of makes me happy with humanity because people are smiling and happy and enjoying each other's company and stuff, and it's kind of nice sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, it's good to people watch. | ||
| It's good to be an observer, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one thing I can't really be anymore. | ||
| It's hard to be an observer. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| You become the observed. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to put on a full disguise. | ||
| But that was one nice thing about the pandemic. | ||
| You could wear a mask. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And just fucking sneak around. | ||
| You can't hide behind a mask. | ||
| You've got too much. | ||
| It's you. | ||
| You're a tattoo now. | ||
| There's no escaping your image. | ||
| I was hanging out with Robert Pattinson a couple days ago and we were having the same conversation. | ||
| Yeah, I was hanging out with Batman. | ||
| Was he a legend? | ||
| Name drop. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Really nice guy. | ||
| Really enjoyed his company. | ||
| I met him once, actually. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I worked on the Harry Potter film. | ||
| I was living in England, and I was working for the company that built all the sets. | ||
| This was when I was young. | ||
| And he was young, too, on the film. | ||
| And he was nervous. | ||
| And I was standing there making sure the sets didn't fall down, and they were filming, and he stood right next to me, and he went, Hello, how are you? | ||
| And I'm like, Hey, how are you? | ||
| And then Daniel Radcliffe came up, actually. | ||
| The three of us were having a chat. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| It's fun when you meet someone that's that famous and a movie star and they're just a fucking dude. | ||
| Just a normal guy. | ||
| He's a normal guy. | ||
| He's genuine. | ||
| I had a long conversation with him. | ||
| We got drunk. | ||
| We had a good time. | ||
| Yeah, we hung out for hours. | ||
| He's fucking super normal. | ||
| Have you seen the movie? | ||
| The Batman? | ||
| I have not. | ||
| I heard it's awesome. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Everything about it. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| Maybe it was because I hadn't been to the movies in two years and I just went, I'm at the movies! | ||
| But I couldn't stop thinking about it. | ||
| They used this soundtrack. | ||
| I don't want to give away too much, but I think I can say this without ruining it for you. | ||
| So the director, I watched a thing on it. | ||
| He was writing the script and listening to a lot of Nirvana at the time. | ||
| And he thought, that's interesting. | ||
| Bruce Wayne Batman is kind of like Kurt Cobain. | ||
| Because he's massively famous but he doesn't really want to be and he wants to be this other person and he's battling with two sides of himself, Kurt Cobain was, and so is Batman and Bruce Wayne. | ||
| And so he brought that into the movie. | ||
| They use the Nirvana song that I've completely forgotten right now. | ||
| But they did so well and brought that into the character of Batman. | ||
| I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Robert Pattinson is the best Batman. | ||
| And that's saying a lot. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because for me it was Michael Keaton. | ||
| What? | ||
| But that was the one when I was a kid. | ||
| That was the first one that I saw, you know? | ||
| Christian Bale by a mile, son. | ||
| Come on, that voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, I'm Batman. | |
| I'm Batman. | ||
| I liked him. | ||
| What's the best part about it? | ||
| Nah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like the fake voice. | |
| Nah. | ||
| I'm Batman. | ||
| I didn't know why it was silly. | ||
| Because if he talked like normal, he'd be like, hey Christian, what are you doing man? | ||
| What's with the fucking getup? | ||
| It seems like you have to have a fake voice if you're going to be Batman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Is he Australian? | ||
| No, he's British. | ||
| I'd know if he was Australian. | ||
| He's definitely British. | ||
| Oh, you'd know all the Australian guys? | ||
| All the big guys? | ||
| There's only three. | ||
| Is Gerard Butler, is he Australian? | ||
| No, he's Scottish, I think. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| But, no, there's Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth, and that's it. | ||
| The crazy guy. | ||
| No, the other guy. | ||
| Jim Jeffries. | ||
| No, isn't that... | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Isn't the fucking guy from Gladiator? | ||
| Oh, Russell Crowe. | ||
| Isn't he? | ||
| He was born in New Zealand. | ||
| Grew up in Australia. | ||
| Spent most of his life in America. | ||
| I like Russell Crowe, but a lot of Australians will go, nah, he's a Kiwi. | ||
| He's a New Zealander. | ||
| A lot of New Zealanders will claim him, and then a lot of them will say, nah, he's Australian if he's throwing phones at people and stuff. | ||
| You change your attitude. | ||
| But I like him a lot. | ||
| I think he's great. | ||
| And I consider him Australian, sure. | ||
| He's an interesting guy, right? | ||
| Because he just said, fuck it, I'm getting fat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he didn't even do it for a role. | ||
| He just goes, huh? | ||
| He just got fat. | ||
| I think he was always a fat guy who probably had to work out and keep very trim to be gladiator and stuff. | ||
| And then he's just one day gone, fuck this. | ||
| I don't know about that because there's no evidence that he was a fat guy. | ||
| No. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| He suits a fat guy. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Jamie, he's been fat for a decade plus. | ||
| If he's working his way up to being enormous. | ||
| He looks okay there. | ||
| No, he looks great there. | ||
| What is that for? | ||
| What's that for? | ||
| Noah. | ||
| Oh, is that a new movie? | ||
| Glad he had it back. | ||
| Maybe it already came out. | ||
| Why do I feel like Noah already came out? | ||
| Maybe Google that. | ||
| Yeah, Google that. | ||
| I think I've seen no. | ||
| Because if that's the case, he got really slim for that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fucking movie that's already out, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I think it's out. | ||
| 2014. Oh, really? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he got real thin in 2014. He's like, fuck it. | ||
| He just did that, and then he goes, hey, I'm going back. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| I think Noah was panned. | ||
| I think critics are like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| He seems like a guy, and this is just a guess, that the whole fame thing and the stardom thing was just too many RPMs, and he just fucking blew a gasket. | ||
| I think he was probably a potential guest before that as well. | ||
| I think he's just a high-octane sort of, you know, powerful dude. | ||
| He's intense. | ||
| He's intense as fuck. | ||
| I mean, for you to be that guy... | ||
| ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Yeah. | ||
| For you to be that guy? | ||
| Like, I believed him. | ||
| Look at him right there. | ||
| Is that a soccer game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Where's he at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, what the fuck did you do with the ball?! | |
| Bring the ball back. | ||
| He's at the Rabbitohs. | ||
| It's rugby. | ||
| He owns a rugby team. | ||
| Oh, does he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's dope. | ||
| It's a rugby league team. | ||
| That's a good baller move on a rugby team. | ||
| Yeah, and it's a cool team too. | ||
| I don't want to say this because it's not the right term and people will probably yell at me, but it's like a hipster team. | ||
| They're a cool team. | ||
| The Rabbitohs. | ||
| A hipster team. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| No. | ||
| Hipster's not good. | ||
| You shouldn't say hipster. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I thought hipster wasn't that bad. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| No, hipsters are posers. | ||
| I thought hipsters were like kind of cool down to earth people. | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| In the 70s. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| They were hippies. | ||
| No, there were hip people too. | ||
| There was hippies and then there was people that were hip. | ||
| Like Lenny Bruce was hip. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He was hip, man. | ||
| Well, I like Lenny Bruce. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do too. | |
| I love it. | ||
| Have you been watching Marvelous Miss Maisel? | ||
| I watched season one. | ||
| Season two lost me. | ||
| Well, the last season came out and it's really good. | ||
| There's more Lenny Bruce in it. | ||
| That's why I like it. | ||
| Yeah, I heard that. | ||
| He does a very good job, whoever that actor is. | ||
| Oh, the guy's great. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| Yeah, there was a certain amount of it. | ||
| It was like, the odds of her being that good that quick. | ||
| That's what blows it for me. | ||
| I could see her getting drunk and going up there and saying hilarious shit in a bar one night, which she did one time. | ||
| Once, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but consistently crushing the way she did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also, it's not a true representation of a struggling comedian because she's got money and a family and cooking dinner and then going out to a show in her nice dress and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's not how. | ||
| And where are your kids, bitch? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The kids just go for three days and no one says anything. | ||
| I've been on the road. | ||
| Oh, hello, kids. | ||
| The lady's great, though. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| The woman who plays Maisel? | ||
| I buy her as a comedian. | ||
| I think she's got great delivery. | ||
| Isn't that funny as a comedian when you see actors try and play comedians and they're just doing it wrong and you're like, oh, that's not at all it. | ||
| Like, get out of here. | ||
| Like, punchline? | ||
| Like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Punchline was no good. | ||
| Who did it good? | ||
| Was the didn't Robert De Niro do one and I don't know if it was good I'm just asking cuz I think he did one in a talk show host But he did a crazy person. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| He did an older guy. | ||
| Yeah, it was a comedian Yeah, I thought it was called the comedian or something wasn't it? | ||
| Well, he did one where he played a crazy talk show host or a guy who's like a wannabe Like he had like a cable access show or something like that the king of comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, there you go That's the crazy one and that one he was a real nut And then there was another one that he did, I think later, where he played a comedian. | ||
| I think that was like older in his life. | ||
| He played a comedian. | ||
| The comedian, yeah, that's it right down there. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Lower right hand side with the girl, yeah. | ||
| So that's the comedian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did not see that. | ||
| No, neither did I. But I just assume Robert De Niro does good work. | ||
| Yeah, he would be able to figure it out. | ||
| So that was 2016. Interesting. | ||
| What was the Punchline one? | ||
| Was that Sally Field? | ||
| That was in the 80s. | ||
| Tom Hanks? | ||
| Yeah, Sally Field and Tom Hanks. | ||
| Because I remember watching that when I was an open-miker. | ||
| That was in 88, I believe. | ||
| I think it actually before I ever did stand-up, because I remember Barry Sobel was in that too. | ||
| And Barry Sobel, who's an actual real comedian, like I saw him in the movie and I'm like, well, that guy looks like a comic. | ||
| And then you see Sally Fields killing and you're like, why is she killing with that material? | ||
| That is not that good. | ||
| They're kind of like a news presenter trying to be a comedian, like they're doing an acting version of it. | ||
| It's interesting to watch. | ||
| Well, also, you're going to have to get a comic to write the material, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And comics are not going to give you their real material. | ||
| They're not going to give you great shit. | ||
| Because that's theirs. | ||
| They need that. | ||
| For a movie, though, if you're getting paid good money. | ||
| How much are you getting paid? | ||
| If they're giving you millions. | ||
| But they're not giving you millions. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| They're giving you a writer's salary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a writer's salary, if you're sitting there writing for her and you're like, well, this one's too good. | ||
| I'm going to fucking put that one aside. | ||
| But there's a lot of good comedic writers that aren't stand-ups. | ||
| So they're not going to go use the material for themselves. | ||
| Yes, but are they writing monologues? | ||
| I guess there probably is. | ||
| I would say the old Daily Show. | ||
| Here's a good example. | ||
| Jon Stewart's a great comic. | ||
| And Jon Stewart had great monologues on the Daily Show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he was the host of The Daily Show, it was really funny. | ||
| But Jon Stewart is a great comic himself. | ||
| So if he had writers, they were probably helping him with premises. | ||
| And then he's just molding the material himself. | ||
| He knows, right? | ||
| You know. | ||
| Like if someone brought you some shit and you looked at it like, guys, I can't fucking say this. | ||
| But even if it's not in my voice, I'd have to put it in my voice. | ||
| Otherwise, it would sound ridiculous. | ||
| I couldn't go and do your material, which everyone knows would work in your voice. | ||
| But if I went and tried to do it, the cadence isn't right. | ||
| My voice is different. | ||
| My opinions and the way that I... Even my experience and everything are different. | ||
| So it's going to sound contrived like I'm... | ||
| It's someone else's shit. | ||
| But if you're like a Jon Stewart, they know your voice. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So I bet they can help write to that voice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, like, he hosted that show for so long that I'm sure he has, like, a bunch of people that knew him before they even were on the show. | ||
| They knew the show, so when they were writing for him. | ||
| Like, if you had to write for, like, certain comedians, you could kind of, like, Donnell Rawlings, you could write for his voice. | ||
| You know his voice, son. | ||
| I'd like to write for Bill Burr. | ||
| Just a couple of Bill Burr jokes. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| I thought it would be funny to have a comedy club where you go up and do, like I would do jokes in Bill Burr's voice or something like that, just for fun, because it would be so great. | ||
| I could be an angry old man. | ||
| Oh, he's going to come after you now. | ||
| An angry, beautiful lady. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's... | |
| He's my favorite, Phil Burr. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| I think he's my number one. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's always got a great take. | ||
| He's one of the rare guys that are out there that are still swinging at fucking home run fastballs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's cracking it out of the park. | ||
| He's not softballing it. | ||
| Remember when he did Saturday Night Live? | ||
| It was just incredible. | ||
| People were so mad. | ||
| Good. | ||
| All the dorks. | ||
| They were so mad. | ||
| And they are fucking dorks. | ||
| If you're mad at that monologue, you're a fucking dork. | ||
| I couldn't believe what he said. | ||
| He said everything that he should have. | ||
| Saturday Night Live used to be so wild, and now it's so woke. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| So I don't have anything to compare to it. | ||
| I don't even know the heyday. | ||
| In the heyday, with Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi, it was wild. | ||
| John Belushi and who was the woman that he would call Jane, you ignorant slut? | ||
| Say that to her. | ||
| It was a line on Saturday. | ||
| You could never get away with that to her. | ||
| Redna Alga. | ||
| I'm saying the name wrong. | ||
| Gilda Radner? | ||
| No, it wasn't her though. | ||
| It wasn't Jane Curtin. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Jane Curtin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jane, you ignorant slut. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It was like when Belushi would come on. | ||
| I watched Ghostbusters the other day with Dan Aykroyd. | ||
| He's so great. | ||
| Oh, he's the best. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fucking original Blues Brothers is an amazing film. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was watching two dorks take apart the Blues Brothers and claim it wasn't funny. | ||
| And they were, you know, they were mocking this scene where it was a YouTube video. | ||
| Don't pull it up, whatever you do. | ||
| They were mocking the scene where they destroy these cars and they were making fun of it. | ||
| It's like, first of all, you're talking about a movie from the 1970s. | ||
| You must look at old films in the context of the time in which they were created. | ||
| Yeah, completely. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| There was a different world. | ||
| I mean, fucking, I don't know who was president back then. | ||
| Was it Nixon or Carter? | ||
| Whoever the fuck it was. | ||
| Gerald Ford? | ||
| It was like, the world was a different place. | ||
| There was no internet. | ||
| Everything was different. | ||
| The amount of information that people had was radically reduced. | ||
| And the culture was shifting in this very strange way. | ||
| I mean, it had gone from the 50s to the 60s, this radical evolution of culture. | ||
| And then the 70s were this strange time where things were still in like a state of flux and the 80s was nuts. | ||
| I mean, the 70s was like crazy. | ||
| Disco was happening and like it was a different world yeah different world like to look at that through the context of today and to say it sucks like Look you could say that about Lenny Bruce who we both think is amazing Lenny Bruce is the reason why you and I can do comedy today He's the first guy to step through the door and he prior No, Pryor came afterwards, and Pryor took what Lenny Bruce was doing and made it even better. | ||
| What Pryor... | ||
| I'm not saying, like, the premises. | ||
| I'm not saying, like, the style of honest comedy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Before that, it was just, like, Lounge X going, hey, my wife did this. | ||
| That was the 50s. | ||
| In the 50s, that was a lot of guys in the Catskills. | ||
| They would do the Poconos, and they would do these places where they would, like, resorts, and they would do, like... | ||
| That was like the scene in Mrs. Maisel when she does that and her father sees her and her father's upset. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| She's making fun of him and making fun of sex. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was what, like, comedy back then was a bunch of jokes. | ||
| And they would tell joke jokes. | ||
| And they would all steal from each other, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All those guys had, like, they would all, like, borrow each other. | ||
| Do each other's acts and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's like, there was jokes that kind of, like, guys had, like, tools. | ||
| Like, you know, a crescent wrench wasn't just the Monty Franklin crescent wrench. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, Jamie could use a crescent wrench, too. | ||
| And that's how they kind of did it. | ||
| Just a bunch of carless menses. | ||
| And then not quite, you know, because he kind of lied about it. | ||
| But then when Lenny came along, Lenny offered this sensibility that was different. | ||
| And I think Lenny, you know, he did a lot of drugs, and he was a wilder guy, and it was a different time. | ||
| And he was like, dig, man. | ||
| Like, you know, everything was like a different time, man. | ||
| In the 1960s. | ||
| His style of comedy. | ||
| But if you listen to it today, it's hard to contextualize it. | ||
| And it doesn't hold up? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| He's got some lines that hold up. | ||
| One line was really good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, homosexuality is illegal. | |
| So what do they do? | ||
| They take you and they lock you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you. | ||
| Great line. | ||
| Back then, that would have been a monster line, too. | ||
| People would have just lost their minds. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Back in the 1960s, that shit was groundbreaking. | ||
| Did he get massive success and money and everything, or did he not get those accolades until later? | ||
| He had quite a lot of success. | ||
| That was one of the things in Maisel that I saw recently. | ||
| There was a scene where he was upset that she was happy that she got arrested. | ||
| And he's like, do you understand that I don't want to get arrested? | ||
| I want to entertain people. | ||
| No, this is also... | ||
| They're putting words into Lenny's mouth that I don't know if he ever really said. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You know, that's a real problem. | ||
| Whenever they do those biopics of Lincoln, I'm like, bitch, you were not there when Lincoln was talking. | ||
| If you want to do the Gettysburg Address, that's one thing. | ||
| But if you want to do some other stuff where you're making up Lincoln talking to his kids or talking to his mom, you don't know if he said that. | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| You're making things up. | ||
| Like the Bruce Lee thing from... | ||
| Quentin Tarantino's movie? | ||
| Quentin Tarantino's thing. | ||
| That was even worse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that was like Bruce Lee being an asshole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a bit of a dick in that. | ||
| Yeah, he was. | ||
| And I love Quentin. | ||
| He's my favorite director of all time. | ||
| When I had him on, I was talking to him about that. | ||
| And he was very adamant that there's evidence that Bruce Lee was arrogant. | ||
| I'm like, confident? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But arrogant like that? | ||
| Yeah, it was a bit dickish. | ||
| You know, sorry, but Quentin Tarantino, one of his favorite directors was my uncle, and Quentin wrote the obituary for my uncle to read out at his funeral. | ||
| No, who's your uncle? | ||
| My uncle's Richard Franklin. | ||
| His big movies were The Blue Lagoon. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, with Brooke Shields? | ||
| Brooke Shields, yeah. | ||
| And that other dude. | ||
| Who was the other dude? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right. | |
| They were kids. | ||
| Yeah, it was kind of weird. | ||
| Now that you think about it. | ||
| It was kind of weird. | ||
| That's another movie, The Context of the Oh, man. | ||
| Like, if you try to do a movie today about kids fucking on an island. | ||
| I think they were cousins, yeah. | ||
| People would be like, what? | ||
| I think they were cousins, like 13-year-old cousins. | ||
| Were they cousins? | ||
| That had sex and had a kid on the island. | ||
| My line says, seven-year-old cousins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seven? | |
| Seven? | ||
| Survive a shipwreck and find themselves marine on a beautiful island in the Pacific Ocean. | ||
| What? | ||
| There were seven? | ||
| That's what the, I'm telling, it's just, hey. | ||
| Was that movie illegal? | ||
| Can you even watch it? | ||
| I don't think they started fucking until they were a bit older. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Seven-year-old cousins, Emmeline Elva Josephson and Richard Glenn Cohan, survive a shipwreck and find themselves marooned on a beautiful island somewhere in their Pacific Ocean. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| July 1980. Wow. | ||
| But that should not be Brooke Shields right there. | ||
| Not that... | ||
| Yeah, Emmeline Elva Josephson. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I think that's maybe her full name, like her character's name. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Oh, the little, okay. | ||
| Yeah, that's the seven-year-old. | ||
| It was Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins. | ||
| I haven't seen the movie. | ||
| But why does it say, and Richard Glenn Cohan? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Those are the two seven-year-olds, and then later in the movie, they become 15. Oh, so they live together. | ||
| They're cousins. | ||
| That's a creepy movie. | ||
| It's a creepy movie. | ||
| It got an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| We got an 8%. | ||
| 8%? | ||
| I don't know if you can trust Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
| They gave Chappelle's special a 4%. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Critics did. | ||
| Critics did. | ||
| These woke dipshits. | ||
| 4.4%? | ||
| No, 4.4 out of 5 stars from the audience. | ||
| Yeah, the audience gave it a great review. | ||
| That's the thing though, man. | ||
| Other than that bullshit. | ||
| They're trapped because it's the difference between your actual opinion and the opinion that you want to project because you want to be a part of a clan. | ||
| You want to be a part of an ideology. | ||
| You want to be a part of a woke group of super progressive people who don't stand for intolerance. | ||
| And you didn't even listen to it then. | ||
| You didn't even listen to it. | ||
| Because the guy is taking a giant chance exploring a very dangerous topic with love and consideration. | ||
| He's talking about a friend of his that committed suicide who defended him, who he literally had open for him on stage. | ||
| That's a giant chunk of the material. | ||
| I watched Dave work that out. | ||
| And anybody that says that is transphobic, you are trying to make it transphobic. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's not at all. | ||
| It's like you can't... | ||
| But that's the world we're living in, man. | ||
| We're living in the world where there's so many fucking opinions. | ||
| There's so many opinions, and then there's these ideologies. | ||
| And people lock into these ideologies, and they don't allow any deviation. | ||
| They're as rigid as a religion. | ||
| Being woke is as rigid as a religion, as is being ultra-conservative. | ||
| That is as rigid as a religion. | ||
| There are things that they will not let you deviate from. | ||
| They will not... | ||
| Be compassionate or considerate of possibilities that might exist outside of this doctrine that they've subscribed to. | ||
| They are fucking rigid, man. | ||
| They might as well be Mormons. | ||
| They might as well be whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Pick a cult. | ||
| Well, it's kind of exciting because they fucking hate on everything. | ||
| It makes everything else exciting. | ||
| They get all fired up about things. | ||
| They get angry. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the problem is it shapes culture. | ||
| And the problem is they get... | ||
| It's not just that these are ideologies. | ||
| They're ideologies that are attached to tech companies. | ||
| And they get involved in the censorship with social media platforms. | ||
| So like the Babylon Bee just got their account suspended on Twitter because they said that Rachel Levine is the man of the year. | ||
| Rachel Levine is the guy, well, was a guy, excuse me, became a woman, and then became the first female, like, multi-star admiral in the, let's see, I don't want to fuck this up. | ||
| In the army? | ||
| No. | ||
| Here it is, right there. | ||
| Twitter suspends Babylon Bee for naming Rachel Levine Man of the Year. | ||
| So Rachel Levine's transgender and, okay, transgender Biden administration official. | ||
| The Babylon Bee story was a reaction to USA Today's naming of Levine, who is the U.S. Assistant Secretary for Health and for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services as one of its Women of the Year last week. | ||
| So they call him the man of the year. | ||
| Twitter says that it will restore the account, which is more than 1.3 million followers, if the bee deletes the tweet. | ||
| But the CEO, Seth Dillon, said he has no intention of doing so. | ||
| He says, we are not deleting anything. | ||
| He tweeted from his personal account, truth is not hate speech. | ||
| If the cost of telling the truth is the loss of our Twitter account, then so be it. | ||
| Well, I can understand if he said that that is not a woman, that is a biological man. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| But when you say that he's the man of the year, that's not truth. | ||
| That's a joke. | ||
| So it's not truth. | ||
| It's a joke, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't think that joke is hate speech either. | ||
| I think it's a joke. | ||
| I think if we're going to be really inclusive, meaning you're going to accept people across the board for whoever they are, whatever they do, No matter what, which I think we should. | ||
| You should be able to joke about things, too. | ||
| And if you can't joke that someone used to be a man, if you're not even allowed to talk about it anymore, now it's forbidden. | ||
| And get in trouble for even questioning it. | ||
| That seems kind of crazy. | ||
| It seems kind of crazy when someone really looks like a man and you can't even say that anymore. | ||
| Like, you're not allowed to bring it up. | ||
| Like, okay, this swimmer. | ||
| This swimmer from Penn State that's dominating and crushing records and just won. | ||
| The NCAA. Just won. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Number one. | ||
| Was number 400-something as a male. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was swimming as a male a fucking year ago. | ||
| Becomes a woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And now is number one. | ||
| If you can't joke about that, you can't say, well... | ||
| Did she go the full chop? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, here's the other thing. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| There's an issue there, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| But what is going on? | ||
| First of all, you've gone through your entire puberty. | ||
| You've gone through years and years of your body producing testosterone, which strengthens your tendons, your ligaments, your joints, your muscles, and all that. | ||
| Lung capacity, heart size. | ||
| There's a lot of variables that are in favor of someone who goes through puberty and then transitions to a woman when it comes to athletic events. | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| And again, that Derek More Plates More Dates guy, he has a great discussion of that where he goes in-depth. | ||
| And Derek is brilliant. | ||
| And he really understands this from a scientific perspective and breaks it down scientifically, the benefits of going through puberty. | ||
| So all these women that had to compete against Leah They all stood together on a podium. | ||
| The second, third, and fourth girls all stood together, like, in unity. | ||
| And then Leah was over there. | ||
| So she's in the number one position, and they all stood together in the number three position. | ||
| And then the audience cheered for them and stuff. | ||
| So they should. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| It's fucking ridiculous. | ||
| Because, look, I'm not saying you can't... | ||
| Identify as a woman, be called a woman, be treated as a woman. | ||
| I'm all for that. | ||
| But when it comes to sports, when you're talking about physical performance, there's a reason why we have male categories and female categories. | ||
| And when it's demonstrated that someone who is very recently a male has a significant advantage over the opponents to the point where they're breaking records, maybe that's not fair. | ||
| It's completely not fair. | ||
| Maybe you should be able to talk about that. | ||
| Maybe you should. | ||
| Maybe we should bring it up, address it, when she's leading them by a hopeful lap. | ||
| Here's another point. | ||
| Maybe that's causing more harm to the transgender cause than it is good. | ||
| Because you're forcing this into society in a way that's going to make people resentful. | ||
| Yeah, completely. | ||
| And then there's some people that should be treated with dignity and respect, that transition. | ||
| They're now going to be considered in the same way that this person is considered, where they think of her as a cheater. | ||
| They think of her as like cheating against these other biological females. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And until there's enough trans women where you can have a trans league, which, you know, would be interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that would be like a category. | ||
| I don't think there's enough now to warrant that, but that's part of the problem. | ||
| Has there been one case of it going the other way? | ||
| No, not successfully. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's no problem in certain sports like archery. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's no physical advantage. | ||
| No physical advantage. | ||
| No, no physical advantage. | ||
| You know, what's interesting, man, even in pool, you know, I play pool. | ||
| I'm a pool enthusiast. | ||
| Do you want to talk about the time I beat you? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| You did beat me once. | ||
| But even when you play pool, women don't do as well as men. | ||
| Like women don't win major competitions. | ||
| This is what's strange. | ||
| Like in pool, they have women's competitions, which are women's only competitions. | ||
| Then they have open competitions where women can compete against men. | ||
| They do not have male only competitions. | ||
| But women, when they compete against men, they'll win a match or two. | ||
| But there's not one woman player who has ever risen to the level of world champion in an open tournament. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm just going to go out on a limb. | ||
| Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that there's not as many women to compete against and stuff like that? | ||
| And I find this in comedy that the women have to give up a lot. | ||
| I'm talking about having kids and stuff in order to still have a progressive career and stuff. | ||
| So maybe in that same pool context, there was a lot that were good, but they're like, I want to have kids. | ||
| I want to have a family. | ||
| I'm going to choose that instead. | ||
| And so there's not as many that can break through and be elite. | ||
| Very possible. | ||
| Very possible. | ||
| But like in PGA and a lot of other things, there's quite a few of them that never have children. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And maybe some of them are even lesbians, right? | ||
| And so they are not much different than a male who has a wife. | ||
| And if they don't have children, they don't adopt children, they don't have additional responsibilities that might take them away from the game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's an issue with testosterone, and I think the way they describe it is, first of all, there's women that are way better than me, that's for sure. | ||
| There's... | ||
| There's women that are capable of beating men on any given day. | ||
| There's women pool players that win all the time when they compete against men. | ||
| They just never win the whole thing. | ||
| I mean, there's only one woman that I know of that was so elite that she was capable of beating almost any man on any given day. | ||
| And that's this woman named Jean Baloukas. | ||
| And that was in, I want to say that was in the late 70s, early 80s. | ||
| And she's known as, like, in the pool world, people think of Jean Belucca as the same way they think of, like, say, Muhammad Ali or something like that. | ||
| In terms of, like, a female version of, like, a truly exceptional player. | ||
| Like, someone who just stands out. | ||
| Like, she was so good. | ||
| Is she considered the GOAT? She's probably like, no, there's a woman named Alison Fisher, who's like elite as well, who plays for England. | ||
| She's from England, rather, who's elite, who's capable of beating. | ||
| And then there's another one, Jasmine Ocean. | ||
| She's very elite too, and she beats men on a regular basis. | ||
| But they just don't win the whole thing. | ||
| Like, they never win the US Open. | ||
| They don't win the World Championships. | ||
| They compete in a lot of these tournaments. | ||
| But that's what the thing is. | ||
| They have a women's tour, at least they used to, where they had women's only tournaments. | ||
| And they were very good tournaments. | ||
| And they play very well. | ||
| But they never won against men. | ||
| And it could be a thing, like you were saying with comedy, that they decide to have families, they have other responsibilities. | ||
| It's not the be-all, end-all to them. | ||
| It could be that. | ||
| But I think in comedy, there's that issue with women. | ||
| But there's another issue. | ||
| The other issue is men have a prejudice against women doing comedy. | ||
| Like, a lot of men don't necessarily want women to be funny and don't necessarily think of women as funny. | ||
| Are they comedians or audience, do you think, in general? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Audience. | |
| I think audience. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think these general men, like, oh, chicks aren't funny. | ||
| I think that is a prejudice that no man says guys aren't funny. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| But men do say chicks aren't funny. | ||
| Yeah, but they're usually dicks and aren't funny themselves. | ||
| They have no idea. | ||
| A lot of those are the people that pay for our tickets. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Go and watch some of the girls that we know. | ||
| Go watch Sarah Silverman and tell me she's not funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go watch Tara. | |
| Go watch Ali Wong. | ||
| Go watch Schumann's Unbelievable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, come on. | |
| There's a lot of people that are very funny that happen to have vaginas. | ||
| But maybe they identify as men. | ||
| Yeah, you could just point it out. | ||
| They could do that now. | ||
| There's a few of those. | ||
| That's a new thing. | ||
| When we were a kid, there was no trans women that were in comedy, but there are now. | ||
| I think, but for women, there's like certain subjects that some men don't want to hear them talk about. | ||
| Like a man can be a political comic and talk about politics and talk about the way people should behave and not do it. | ||
| And a lot of men don't want to hear a woman talk like that. | ||
| They don't want to hear a woman like... | ||
| And then a lot of men don't like it when women talk about sex too much. | ||
| And that's another thing that a lot of women like to talk about on stage. | ||
| And some men are like, I don't want to hear about that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| From a woman. | ||
| It's like being a pussy. | ||
| If something's funny, it's funny. | ||
| I'm not saying it's good. | ||
| You're insecure in your own life. | ||
| I'm not defending it. | ||
| I'm not defending it. | ||
| The opposite, in fact. | ||
| I'm mocking it. | ||
| But I think it's a thing that does exist as a prejudice that men have, some men have, that they don't have towards men. | ||
| No man will blanketly say men aren't funny. | ||
| If they do, they're posers. | ||
| They're just trying to fuck some girls, and they probably have a little dick, and they're just like a male feminist. | ||
| I think men are terrible. | ||
| I prefer women comedians. | ||
| Hannah Gadsby is my favorite. | ||
| She comedians? | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Those guys exist. | ||
| Those guys do exist. | ||
| Those fiercely feminists they put in their Twitter bio. | ||
| Those fucking guys, they're out there. | ||
| But you know what those guys are. | ||
| What do you think they think about the transgender athletes if they're fiercely feminists? | ||
| Because they should be on the side of the four people that were standing there in arms, right? | ||
| Yes, they should be. | ||
| And if they're not, they're full of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, that's the only area where I have a problem with this whole movement. | ||
| It's not the acceptance. | ||
| It's the reason why we don't have males compete against women is that there's a fucking, there's a benefit to testosterone. | ||
| It doesn't mean Serena Williams can't fucking kick my ass in a tennis game any day of the week. | ||
| She'd kick my ass in a lot of things. | ||
| She'd probably beat me up. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| But we're talking about against male players, she would lose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's just the reality against some. | ||
| She'd beat quite a few, I'm sure. | ||
| But it's like pool. | ||
| But it's not like pool because there's a physical power aspect to tennis. | ||
| There's a big thing. | ||
| It happens in surfing. | ||
| So if you look at the 13-year-old surfers on the planet right now, and because of wave pools, surfing has advanced massively. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And these kids are unbelievable. | ||
| And you should see these young girls, right? | ||
| Josh Kerr is a professional surfer. | ||
| I think it's his daughter. | ||
| I don't want to get it wrong, but it might be. | ||
| And she rips. | ||
| She's unbelievable. | ||
| She does 360 airs as well as any of the guys. | ||
| But as soon as those guys hit puberty, they're going to have way more power and be able to just boost way higher than her. | ||
| And it's just a different thing. | ||
| But the wave pools have changed the game of surfing a lot. | ||
| And in 10 years, you're going to see women do crazy shit. | ||
| It's going to be unreal. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| I didn't think that. | ||
| I knew the wave pools were probably a good way to learn, but I never considered them back. | ||
| Well, it's just repetitive. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| If you go out surfing, you might get 10 waves, okay? | ||
| 10 waves in a day. | ||
| You can get 110 waves in a wave pool in a day. | ||
| That's just more and more, and you know how sport works. | ||
| Repetitive, repetitive, keep it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| I just work that turn, work that turn, and before you know it, you're launching up and... | ||
| When I did Taekwondo, when I was obsessed, I lived in the gym. | ||
| I essentially lived there. | ||
| I was there all day long. | ||
| I trained all day long. | ||
| Because I was 15, and I didn't have any other interests, and I really didn't give a fuck about school, so I didn't do any homework. | ||
| I barely got through high school. | ||
| That seemed to work out for you. | ||
| I got lucky. | ||
| But during that time, I accelerated so rapidly because I was training all day long. | ||
| All I did was eat and sleep and train. | ||
| I had no life. | ||
| From the time I was 15 until I was 21, my social life was severely stunted. | ||
| I had girlfriends, but even the girlfriends had to deal with this crazy world that I lived in. | ||
| And so the amount of time... | ||
| I'm in the middle of rereading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers book. | ||
| And that's one of the things that he discusses in that book, is the amount of time that someone spends on something. | ||
| And they talk about Bill Gates and his access to the computers at the University of Seattle in Washington, or the University of Washington, Seattle, whichever one it is, where he had access to the computer lab, and he was coding at a very young age. | ||
| So by the time he got to college, he was super advanced. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Compared to a normal person because he spent so many hours. | ||
| He would sneak out of his house in the middle of the night and go code. | ||
| Or revel. | ||
| Yeah, he was a wild man. | ||
| But that's with a lot of things. | ||
| I mean, Formula One drivers, you have to start when you're a kid doing go-karts. | ||
| And you have to have money in your family to go in the go-karting circuit. | ||
| So that's going to take out a lot of people that could potentially be awesome race car drivers because they just don't have the time, the money. | ||
| It's the same with MotoGP. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| Casey Stoner was a massively successful racer for Australia, but his family, actually another family, came in and bankrolled him to be this success from a young age. | ||
| If you don't have that, you're just not going to have the time and the tools and the repetitiveness to... | ||
| Be elite in that pursuit, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's all about this book, Outlier. | ||
| Have you ever read it? | ||
| I have, and I can't remember any of it now that you're bringing it up. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| I've read it before, but I read it years ago, and I'm getting back into it again now. | ||
| I read it before Malcolm had come on the podcast back in the day, but I'm really getting into it again for a second time because I've been really thinking about this a lot lately. | ||
| I've been thinking about what makes people great at things and what is it about obsession and time spent. | ||
| And one of the things that I'm really getting into is the Beatles because they talked about their days in Hamburg where they would play eight hours a day. | ||
| And they would play other people's music. | ||
| They'd play their music. | ||
| They'd play so much music. | ||
| And the people that knew them from Liverpool said that they come back from the Hamburg experience like a fucking completely different band. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They've just done 10 years of road work in a year in Hamburg. | ||
| It's the same with comedy. | ||
| You go to New York and you're doing three sets a night and suddenly you're a beast. | ||
| You can't do that in Dayton, Ohio. | ||
| That, but honestly, I think New York is great. | ||
| I think there's an aspect, but I think the real thing is the road. | ||
| Because I think the road, when you're doing things... | ||
| Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, maybe even Wednesday as well. | ||
| Those sets, you're doing an hour every night. | ||
| You're not doing 15-minute sets. | ||
| And in those hour sets, you get to explore so many more topics. | ||
| And then you're just hammering those hour sets two on Friday, sometimes Three on Saturday? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The three on Saturdays are weird, because you don't know what the fuck you've already talked about by the time it's like the midnight show, and it's 1.15 in the morning. | ||
| But that's when the best stuff comes out, because your head's going, if I said, say something else, and just go down another rickety road. | ||
| Right, you never fucking know, man. | ||
| Isn't that the best feeling, though, when you've done maybe a month of just solid shows, and you are in shape, and you're just like a weapon, and then you maybe go back to the comedy store, and you're so fit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crush. | |
| I did a tour with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron once. | ||
| We did this Bud Light Real Men of Comedy tour. | ||
| And dude, we did 22 shows in a month and we traveled everywhere. | ||
| It was one of those things where I'd wake up and I'd look at the ceiling of the hotel room and I'm like, where am I? I just did that last week, so I had no idea where I was. | ||
| You don't know where you are, right? | ||
| It takes like five minutes to stare at the scene. | ||
| I'd play this game. | ||
| I'd wake up and go, where the fuck am I? Ohio? | ||
| Where the fuck am I? I don't know where I am. | ||
| And so we did that, and by the end of that 22 shows, man, because it was like night after night doing an hour, I was on fire. | ||
| Did all three of you do an hour? | ||
| No. | ||
| Me and Charlie did and Hefron would... | ||
| I forget how much time he did. | ||
| And they usually had an opening guy who would do a certain amount of time. | ||
| I think Hefron... | ||
| Actually, I think Charlie and I did 45 minutes each. | ||
| And I think there was an opening guy that would be a local guy. | ||
| And that's how I met Segura. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I met Segura in Phoenix. | ||
| We were at the... | ||
| I think it's the celebrity theater. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| The Hollywood... | ||
| I forget. | ||
| It's a theater in the round. | ||
| A fairly small theater. | ||
| Like a 2,000 seat theater in Phoenix. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And a lot of these guys that would open up, they'd be funny, they'd be good, but they really didn't make me laugh hard. | ||
| And, you know, Seguro had me fucking how... | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| 2007. And I remember I saw him, I go, dude. | ||
| I go, how long have you been doing comedy? | ||
| And he'd only been doing it like a few years, and I took him on the road with me. | ||
| I'm like, you know, come on, man, let's go. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| That's the best as a comedian when someone like you goes, hey, come on the road, and you just start doing big venues and having fun. | ||
| Well, he was so good, too. | ||
| He was so funny, and he was such a good guy. | ||
| We had so much fun right away. | ||
| That's my favorite thing. | ||
| I know you like to go on the road, and there's alone time. | ||
| I like to go on the road with my buddies. | ||
| Oh no, don't get me wrong. | ||
| That's way better. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| That's my favorite part of comedy besides actually being on stage and getting that energy that we love. | ||
| Remember when you, me and Santino did the United Center in Chicago? | ||
| 20,000 people, whatever it was. | ||
| And is it the same stadium that the Bulls played in or have they changed the stadium or something? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Either way, we were in the Bulls locker room. | ||
| And everyone would think that, Joe, you have a massive entourage in anything, and no. | ||
| It was the three of us, as soon as that door closes, and whoever's hanging on and annoying us goes, and it's the three of us just farting around and being funny, and we're about to go perform for 20,000 people, and Santino's like going, are you nervous and poking me? | ||
| And then you're going, yeah, have a shot of whiskey. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, maybe afterwards. | ||
| Yeah, that was fun. | ||
| That was so fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was the biggest thing you'd ever done by far, right? | |
| Completely. | ||
| Crowd-wise, yeah. | ||
| I'd done a few festivals, like a sort of Coachella-style thing, and brought bands out to a crowd, but not... | ||
| I mean, I did 20 minutes in front of... | ||
| 20,000 or whatever it was. | ||
| But it was great! | ||
| It was terrifying when I looked behind me and saw a 50-foot version of myself on a screen. | ||
| And I'm like, oh god! | ||
| Let's have a drink today, my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Hold on, I've got to tell you about these. | ||
| This is an Australian beer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My buddy sent these over from Australia. | ||
| Victoria Bitter. | ||
| Victoria Bitter. | ||
| So a lot of Australians will be thinking right now, why the fuck did you bring in that beer? | ||
| Cheers, buddy. | ||
| What is this equivalent to American-wise? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Budweiser. | |
| It's not bad. | ||
| It's like mild. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's a mild beer. | ||
| Well, most beer in Australia is fairly, let's call it, it's not like an IPA. It's not filled with tannins and berries and crap. | ||
| It's just straight beer. | ||
| It's Budweiser and stuff like that. | ||
| We've got some world-class beer out of Tasmania because the water's incredible down there, so the beer's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The water? | |
| Yeah, the water in Tasmania is the best on the planet. | ||
| It's untouched. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| What's the difference in the water? | ||
| What does it taste like? | ||
| Oh, I don't know, but they make good beer. | ||
| It's just very pure water. | ||
| It's from the most pure, untouched, unpolluted place on the planet. | ||
| Like glaciers that are melting, that kind of shit? | ||
| You don't have glaciers there though, do you? | ||
| No, we don't have glaciers there, so I don't really know where the water's from. | ||
| New Zealand, right? | ||
| New Zealand's filled with fantastic snow and all that sort of stuff. | ||
| Everyone from Australia goes over there to do the snow stuff, because we don't really have much of a snow season in Australia. | ||
| So, Tasmania. | ||
| Is that where the Tasmanian tiger is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it was. | |
| Tasmanian tiger is extinct. | ||
| They think they're still around. | ||
| I think they're trying to bring it back. | ||
| I think they think they're still around. | ||
| I was watching a documentary on it. | ||
| They think that it's very... | ||
| There's so many sightings of an animal that resembles that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They think they're still... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget the actual name of the thing. | ||
| Filocene. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| But it's a weird looking striped dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a dingo, but it's a striped version. | ||
| It's a tiger dingo, let's call it that. | ||
| Yeah, they had one in captivity. | ||
| There's video of it from, I believe it was like the 30s. | ||
| Yeah, there's footage of them and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, it was like blank and white. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it looked like. | ||
| A wild looking thing. | ||
| But there's so many sightings of that that they've actually sent biologists on these long excursions. | ||
| And who was it that was on the show? | ||
| Was it Forrest Galante? | ||
| Forrest Galante? | ||
| I think it was him. | ||
| And he was saying that they're reasonably certain Yes, it is forest. | ||
| And he was saying they're reasonably certain that that animal is still alive. | ||
| Good, I hope it is. | ||
| There's enough... | ||
| Is there any images of it? | ||
| I've seen footage of it. | ||
| I think they think that they have images of it on a trail cam. | ||
| Thylacine. | ||
| What a cool name. | ||
| I think they... | ||
| I might be making that up. | ||
| But I know for sure... | ||
| Well, there's the Tasmanian Devil. | ||
| It's funny that when I bring something up and then I find out it was on my podcast. | ||
| I've heard people talk about this. | ||
| Somebody was telling me about this guy who was really interesting. | ||
| I go, really? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| They gave me his name, I Google it, and he was on my show. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I forgot about him. | ||
| Forget your own life. | ||
| Well, I've had so many conversations with people that it's like my brain is a hard drive that has no space. | ||
| It's just stuffed and it's overflowing over the top. | ||
| But that's good. | ||
| It is, but it's like I'm losing memories because there's so many that are getting jammed in there every week. | ||
| I don't have the space for it. | ||
| You know, there's like a thing. | ||
| There's like a law of like memory where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your head. | ||
| Yeah, that must be very hard for you. | ||
| You know way too many people. | ||
| What is that called again? | ||
| Dunbar's number. | ||
| Dunbar's number. | ||
| So Dunbar's number is 150 people. | ||
| And Dunbar's number, yeah, because the idea is that our brains evolved in tribal environments. | ||
| In that human beings for thousands and thousands of years lived in these small groups of people, these small bands of people, and we had to know intimately the people that were around us. | ||
| And it was mostly like, you know, 50 people, 100 people. | ||
| And you can only keep like a certain amount. | ||
| Whatever the number is, if it gets to like 150, 250 people, you lose it. | ||
| Like, I have 500 plus fighters in my head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just fighters that I have to juggle around because I commentate on their fights and I have to know their styles and watch their performances and evaluate their skill sets. | ||
| Yeah, but you're very interested in something. | ||
| I'd imagine that your capacity to maintain that level of names and stuff might be more if you're really interested in it. | ||
| It's probably more than the average person just because of the sheer force of will of memorizing all these things and forcing these things. | ||
| Here's a little more detail on something I haven't heard when we talked about that. | ||
| According to the theory, the Titus Circle has just five people. | ||
| Loved ones. | ||
| That's followed by successive layers of 15. Good friends, 50 friends, 150 meaningful contacts, 500 acquaintances, and 1,500 people you can recognize. | ||
| Ah, interesting. | ||
| People migrate in and out of these layers. | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| But the idea is that space has to be carved out for any new entrance. | ||
| Dunbar isn't sure why these layers of numbers are all multiples of five, but says this number five does seem to be fundamental to monkeys and apes in general. | ||
| Of course, all of these numbers really represent range. | ||
| Extroverts tend to have a larger network and spread themselves more thinly across their friends, while introverts concentrate on smaller pool of thick contacts. | ||
| And women generally have slightly more contacts within the closest layers. | ||
| Now, here's what's interesting. | ||
| I'm not really an extrovert. | ||
| I mean, I kind of do it for a living. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, like, I am very happy being quiet. | ||
| I would say I am, too. | ||
| I'd say a lot of comedians are. | ||
| Don't you think they just quietly observe rather than being the center of attention, which is odd? | ||
| There's a few of, like, there's, like, Jim Carrey-type dudes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Right? | ||
| Who are, like, absolute extroverts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Who just, like, demand the center of attention and control the room. | ||
| But does he? | ||
| When he's at home, does he just kind of go, ugh, God, people. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, and then there's people, like... | ||
| You know, there's people that can be, you know, they're hybrids. | ||
| Like Joey Diaz is a hybrid. | ||
| Joey Diaz likes people to leave him the fuck alone. | ||
| Leave me the fuck alone! | ||
| But when Joey Diaz is in a room, everybody's listening. | ||
| You know, he takes over the room. | ||
| Your attention gets drawn to someone like that in a room. | ||
| You're like that. | ||
| Everyone's attention gets drawn to you. | ||
| I don't know if that's being extrovert, but it's just you've got that energy and that flow in the room that everyone's like, I wonder what he has to say about that type thing. | ||
| Maybe, but I'm not like the clown. | ||
| Not the clown, the jester. | ||
| But you don't have to prove yourself like that. | ||
| There's a lot of people that think they do. | ||
| I've got to be funny so everyone thinks I'm funny. | ||
| You don't have anything to prove. | ||
| You could silently sit in a room and be totally content. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that think, oh, I better say something funny right now or people will think I'm stupid. | ||
| That's the worst when you try to hang with open micers in the green room. | ||
| And they think everything has to be crafted into material. | ||
| You just want to hang out. | ||
| Like Tony Woods barked at some fucking kid. | ||
| Barked. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Because he was annoying Tony. | ||
| You know, and Tony is that guy who is the funniest guy in the room, you know? | ||
| And then this open-miker kept trying to step on Tony, and Tony's like, motherfucker, do you see me ranting? | ||
| And we were all laughing at Tony, and then when he did that, we fell on the floor, because this kid... | ||
| He was a good kid. | ||
| He was a good guy. | ||
| But he was, you know, 23, just starting comedy, open miker. | ||
| He's hanging with us. | ||
| He's hanging with Tony Woods and Tony Hinchcliffe and me and a couple other guys in the room. | ||
| Well, he should sit back and observe and learn. | ||
| That's what he should do. | ||
| Well, he was one of us. | ||
| It was okay. | ||
| Like, I want them to feel like they're one of us because I want more comedians. | ||
| I want more guys and girls and non-binary figures. | ||
| I want them to have an insight to that world where we are just like you. | ||
| We're just further down this road that we're all on. | ||
| And I always felt like that at the store. | ||
| I was always super friendly to the doorman and the people who work the cashier booth. | ||
| Because they're all comics. | ||
| Bartenders are comics. | ||
| And I was like, we're all the same. | ||
| Some of us are just 10 years past you or 15 years, whatever it is. | ||
| But it's like we're all the same thing. | ||
| We're all comics. | ||
| Once you're accepted into that brotherhood, you're part of it. | ||
| You're funny. | ||
| The problem is when you get friendly with someone and you find out they're terrible. | ||
| And you have to pretend they... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that was good. | ||
| I've been friends with them before, like at the store. | ||
| Sometimes I knew someone for a year before I saw their act. | ||
| And I liked them. | ||
| They're fun to talk to. | ||
| Like, hey, how you doing? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What have you been doing? | ||
| And then I go, I'm going to see your act. | ||
| And then you watch their acting like, oh, Christ. | ||
| And where do you think they failed? | ||
| To impress you in normal conversation, you probably thought, oh, this person's funny and interesting. | ||
| Where did they fail on stage then? | ||
| Not necessarily thought they were funny in normal conversation, but just liked them. | ||
| There's a lot of people that I like to talk to that aren't funny at all. | ||
| Most of my friends are hilarious to talk to. | ||
| They couldn't get on stage and do stand-up. | ||
| Well, there's hilarious people that couldn't do stand-up. | ||
| Well, they probably could, but they would have to really be obsessed with it and think about it. | ||
| I was talking to Tony about that the other day. | ||
| Imagine starting over from scratch. | ||
| We had no idea how to do stand-up. | ||
| If you had to start over again, how long it takes. | ||
| Oh, if you actually didn't know in your head how to do it either. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, that's nuts. | ||
| I started from scratch when I came to America, so I know what it feels like to know those skills in my head, but... | ||
| You know, not be accepted into the comedy store and places yet. | ||
| And it was weird. | ||
| It was hard. | ||
| But you had already done stand-up in Australia. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| What I'm saying is, imagine if you had no knowledge of comedy, you had to start all over again right now. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| No, the stuff I've had to learn over the last, I don't know, 17 years and everything. | ||
| The amount of time that it takes to get good. | ||
| The amount of time that it takes where you can go on stage and kill and entertain a crowd for an hour. | ||
| The amount of different audiences you have to perform in front of to know that this is slightly different. | ||
| This is this. | ||
| I did Laughlin, Nevada on Friday. | ||
| They were the rowdiest crowd I've had in 10 years. | ||
| They probably can't believe you visited them. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, what the hell's going on? | ||
| They're just a bunch of drunken hillbillies. | ||
| Where is Laughlin, Nevada? | ||
| It's like the most southern point of Nevada, about an hour and a half out of Vegas. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| I don't know what we were doing there, but it was a big thousand-seat theater, and they were so rowdy. | ||
| But because I cut my teeth in Australia in a rowdy environment, I was like, oh, this is great. | ||
| And I had one of the best sets of my life. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| I cut my teeth in bars when I lived in Boston. | ||
| Oh, in Boston. | ||
| Boston's probably very similar to Australia. | ||
| I think they're very similar places. | ||
| I've been to Boston, and I get along with Bostonians, is that what you're saying? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Very easily, because I don't know what it is. | ||
| Maybe, is there a criminal convict sort of heritage in Boston? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| So many criminals. | ||
| Well, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because, you know, obviously Australia's a convict settlement as well. | ||
| I just show these people immediately. | ||
| It's silliness. | ||
| It's tomfoolery. | ||
| It's a rough sort of environment. | ||
| Dude, I used to work at a club in Boston that would offer to pay you in Coke or cash. | ||
| Did you take the Coke and try and sell it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I never took the Coke. | |
| I was not an entrepreneur. | ||
| I'm not an entrepreneur. | ||
| I wouldn't know how to steal a Coke. | ||
| I wouldn't have the first clue what to do. | ||
| I knew a lot of guys who took the Coke, though. | ||
| Unfortunately, they had a lot. | ||
| I bet they're not around, right? | ||
| No, some of them are still alive. | ||
| But a lot of those guys had problems. | ||
| Oh, I meant even just doing comedy. | ||
| Yeah, they're still doing comedy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But a lot of them had problems because it was so easy to get paid in Coke. | ||
| It's funny when you go to the back store of the comedy store and there's that mirrored piano thing and you just want to know who was there and what had happened. | ||
| Kinnison for sure did coke off that table. | ||
| There's such a history there. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's one of the greatest places on earth in terms of history. | ||
| That's one of my proudest achievements that I've got my name on that wall. | ||
| I think I'm the only Australian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you really? | |
| I don't think Jim's got his name. | ||
| He should definitely, but I don't think he does. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| He's definitely a paid regular. | ||
| I know that I got it before him. | ||
| If it's on now, then it makes total sense, but I was the first Australian on there. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| You sure there wasn't some weirdo back in the 70s? | ||
| Probably, but my story sounds better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, fuck him. | |
| Fuck him. | ||
| There's a lot of people that quit for whatever reason. | ||
| You'd run into their name like, oh, I forgot about him. | ||
| Where the fuck did he go? | ||
| I can't imagine quitting comedy. | ||
| It's like, you know, Stanhope said something really interesting once that I totally agree with. | ||
| He goes, I could quit comedy because I could never quit comedians. | ||
| Like hanging out with comedians. | ||
| It's a different ballgame, isn't it? | ||
| I feel like sometimes when my friends, like I said, I've got very funny friends, but it's like playing tennis with someone who's not quite as good as you. | ||
| And then once you play tennis against comedians and it's just back, back, back, back, and you're just like, oh, this is fun. | ||
| Well, it's also just they accept the crazy in you, you know, where some people just, they have HR breathing down their neck and they live in an office environment and they don't get a lot of fun, crazy, loose people. | ||
| We have all, everyone we know is crazy. | ||
| Like, all of our friends are out of their fucking minds. | ||
| It's just so fun that everything is a joke. | ||
| Everything can be a joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And everything is fun and silly, and let's just turn that into a joke, and that into a joke, that into a joke. | ||
| Dude, I've been doing this podcast. | ||
| We call them the Protect Our Parks podcast. | ||
| With Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari Shafir. | ||
| The four of us. | ||
| And we get blasted. | ||
| We get hammered. | ||
| And we get stoned. | ||
| And they're the most ridiculous podcasts. | ||
| They're so ridiculous. | ||
| And I love them so much. | ||
| Because I do all these podcasts with scientists and philosophers and fucking scholars and all these interesting, fascinating people. | ||
| Get a dickhead like me on so you can just... | ||
| Talk shit. | ||
| But it's fun! | ||
| It is fun. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Hanging out with comics is some of the most fun. | ||
| I called Stan up the other day and I hadn't talked to him in a while. | ||
| And the moment I called him, I have just this giant smile on my face. | ||
| And we're laughing and I'm driving home listening. | ||
| We're talking while I'm driving. | ||
| Fucking laughing. | ||
| I'm like, God. | ||
| I've been watching a lot of Mark Norman lately. | ||
| Norman's hilarious. | ||
| He just keeps pumping out good material on his Instagram and stuff. | ||
| And he's a very, very good joke writer. | ||
| Oh, he's very prolific. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very prolific and very obsessed with comedy. | ||
| He loves comedy. | ||
| He adores comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He really does. | ||
| You can tell that he loves the art form and really goes for it. | ||
| How about Shane? | ||
| When we worked with Shane in Irvine recently, oh my God, how funny is he, dude? | ||
| Dude, we were piercing ourselves backstage. | ||
| Oh my God, his Trump impression is insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How funny was he said when he got nicked by the... | |
| Don't give him the bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were on the full line. | |
| We were crying. | ||
| I have worked with him a few times at the Vulcan, but the way the Vulcan is set up, the green room is so far away from the stage, and then we have the TV on in the green room so you can watch the set, but it's hard to hear because everyone's talking and shooting the shit. | ||
| But back there, we were right next to the stage, so we got to hear all of it. | ||
| Fuck, he's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fucking good, man. | ||
| Very good demeanor on stage. | ||
| Knows himself, his presence, his voice. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| Well, there's a bunch of these guys that are on the up and they're on the come up. | ||
| They're rising through the ranks of comedy that are really good and really dedicated and just love the thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Love the thing. | ||
| And he's a guy that, you know, went through that shit where he was gonna get on Saturday Night Live, and then they dug up some old podcasts of crazy things that he had said. | ||
| Best thing for him. | ||
| Best thing for him. | ||
| In the end, yes. | ||
| Like, his Gillian Keeves, have you ever watched that? | ||
| Yeah, how's the one where the dad's on OnlyFans or whatever? | ||
| He's up there. | ||
| I'm doing this for you! | ||
| Gillian Keeves, I'll see this right now, is the best sketch comedy that exists on planet Earth right now. | ||
| It's better than anything other than Kyle Dunnigan and Kurt Metzger stuff, which is different because it's face swaps. | ||
| It's just ridiculous. | ||
| Did you see the Nancy Pelosi one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I just can't stop laughing at it. | ||
| I was playing it for this lady who actually went to see Nancy Pelosi speak. | ||
| She went to this thing, this fucking gathering where Nancy Pelosi was at and they were talking. | ||
| All these converts were saying, oh, she's the most entertaining and captivating speaker. | ||
| And she listened to her talk. | ||
| She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| Have you seen that one thing that she did? | ||
| This recent one that's like this babbling, crazy conversation? | ||
| Here, I'm going to send this to you, Jamie, because it's... | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Before the Riverdance thing? | ||
| I don't know what it is, but it's a new one. | ||
| But it's so preposterous. | ||
| I'm going to find it real quick. | ||
| It's so preposterous that I sent it to people and they're like, what the fuck is she even saying? | ||
| I don't think I've ever seen the real Nancy Pelosi talk. | ||
| I've just seen Kyle Dunnegan's version. | ||
| Oh, Kyle is a fucking genius. | ||
| He really... | ||
| He really... | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| I mean, there's guys that shine in a certain way in an art form where you see that's your thing. | ||
| That's your thing. | ||
| I don't think that's something I would do. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| You know, it's just his thing and he's nailing it and it's just so silly and fun. | ||
| Yeah, no, he's incredible. | ||
| Like, he's a very funny comic. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| He's very good on stage. | ||
| But there's a thing with him where you see him... | ||
| This is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, hold on a second. | |
| Yeah, I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. | ||
| There's a format in which, you know, with that face swap shit, that he shines... | ||
| He shines in a way that it's like, I don't think there's anybody better at that Instagram format. | ||
| And with the face swaps... | ||
| Isn't it funny that it's not perfect? | ||
| Like the face swap is just kind of silly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the best thing. | |
| It's the best part. | ||
| It's like South Park. | ||
| South Park has the shitty animation. | ||
| Play this and give me some volume because it's fucking amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sending stuff over to the Senate. | |
| Well, most of the product that we've done is... | ||
| Except now we may have added in the last day or so. | ||
| And some of what we added is Senate to the bill. | ||
| Like hearing. | ||
| Bernie doesn't like hearing. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| Bernie loves hearing. | ||
| Manchin doesn't want hearing in the bill and all that stuff. | ||
| So somebody's Senate oriented and then we had the family medical need. | ||
| We figured if they're putting things in, then we can put something in. | ||
| Even if Manchin doesn't like it. | ||
| So we are getting some... | ||
| bird and privilege. | ||
| I think mostly we're getting privilege scrub. | ||
| Because privilege struggle is deadly to a bill. | ||
| Birdball is important. | ||
| You have to take it out. | ||
| But privilege violation can take you out. | ||
| Look at the caption. | ||
| It's like she's buffering. | ||
| It says, 10 points for whoever can translate what Nancy is saying. | ||
| Just remember these people are running our country. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| What did that mean? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| I heard birds and then Biden can't hear. | ||
| There's a thing that they think happens when someone hangs around a schizophrenic. | ||
| I think it's in the literature, like psychology literature, where they think that if you go to visit a schizophrenic, if you're susceptible... | ||
| If you're around them for long enough, something happens to you where you fail to recognize, like, their patterns are so screwy that it can infect the way you think and behave. | ||
| And there's been people that went to visit schizophrenic relatives that wound up being locked up themselves. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Actually, yeah, that happens quite a lot. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| I don't know if it's true. | ||
| I was about to say I don't know if that's true. | ||
| No, I've heard of that happening. | ||
| Sisters and stuff being locked up together because they've spent so much time and their brain patterns start to go nutty together. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I've never thought of that. | ||
| Well, it makes sense in the sense that the people that you hang around with are critical to your well-being. | ||
| Like, if you hang around with a lot of, like, one of the things I'm very fortunate is that a lot of my friends are very ambitious, and they're very smart, and they're very, like, honest. | ||
| And they'll tell you about their fuck-ups, and they'll tell you... | ||
| There's... | ||
| You can gain a lot of motivation from those people. | ||
| You have energy. | ||
| You recognize their patterns are very admirable and you enjoy being around them. | ||
| It's inspirational. | ||
| It helps you. | ||
| It gives you some sort of a fuel. | ||
| And I would think if that's the case, then the opposite has to be true, too. | ||
| If you hang out with a bunch of bitter losers who are just bitching and pissing and moaning about other people's success and other people saying, you know, what about me? | ||
| It's called reality TV. But that shit, I think that wears on people. | ||
| And I think that affects people's behavior patterns. | ||
| I think if you're around crazy people too much, you can probably absorb some of their thinking and it probably fucks with your patterns because I think we are creatures of community. | ||
| And if you're in a bad community, if you're in a community of bitter people or of jealous people or angry people, you absorb some of that. | ||
| And if you're around crazy people, I bet you absorb that too. | ||
| I find I start to talk with a certain cadence of the person that I'm with a little bit sometimes. | ||
| Is it allofenia? | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| Shared psychotic disorder. | ||
| Mmm, so it's real. | ||
| So a shared psychotic disorder is a rare type of mental illness in which a healthy person starts to take on the delusions of someone who has a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia. | ||
| For example, let's say your spouse has a psychotic disorder and as a part of that illness believes aliens are spying on them. | ||
| Maybe they are. | ||
| They are. | ||
| Maybe she's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe you're just judgy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I should accept the aliens are spying on you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you think aliens are spying on Earth? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Spying? | ||
| Watching. | ||
| I think they're there. | ||
| We watch insects. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I think they're looking at us like, put it this way. | ||
| If we go to Mars with Elon and we find a little bug that exists there, And we can't communicate with the bug. | ||
| Are we going to try and open up dialogue with it and go, hey, let's, you know, live together in harmony? | ||
| No, we're going to go, I'll just leave them be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that's what the aliens are doing. | ||
| They're like, I'll just leave them be. | ||
| They're doing their thing. | ||
| Maybe, but we're a pretty complex bug. | ||
| According to us. | ||
| According to anybody. | ||
| Octopus ancestors found in Montana lived even before dinosaurs. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| 4.7-inch fossil has 10 limbs, not 8. How's an octopus, then? | ||
| Duh. | ||
| Octopus. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Dectopus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Each with two rows of suckers. | |
| Scientists who named the species for President Joe Biden, oh, Jesus Christ, say it possibly lived in shallow, tropical ocean bay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| But, you know, we are possibly on the verge of destroying the planet right now. | ||
| Like, we are as close to nuclear war as we've been since the 1960s. | ||
| What about the Cuban Missile Crisis? | ||
| 1960s. | ||
| That was the 60s? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right, dumb. | ||
| Why did I think that was the 90s? | ||
| No, that was Kennedy. | ||
| That was Kennedy was during the Cuban Missile Crisis. | ||
| Oh, no shit. | ||
| Yeah, the Russians had moved missiles into Cuba. | ||
| And they used spy planes to get images of that. | ||
| And then Kennedy, they had a standoff. | ||
| It was very touch and go for a while. | ||
| And people were really concerned that we were going to have... | ||
| I think that was probably even closer then than it was now. | ||
| Because according to Oliver Stone, when I had him on the podcast, he said there were generals that were advocating for a first strike. | ||
| And they were talking about acceptable losses and millions of people that we could attack Russia and attack China and that we would blow up a bunch of places and that we would lose a few cities. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| These crazy fucks. | ||
| You've got to think, and this is a conversation that I had with Mike Baker the other day, who was a former CIA operative, and I was saying that if someone's willing to kill as many people as Putin has killed in Ukraine, like how many people have died there? | ||
| Thousands, right? | ||
| Thousands of his troops, thousands of Ukrainian troops and civilians. | ||
| It's like they haven't even figured the real number yet. | ||
| Let's say it's 10,000 people. | ||
| If it's 10,000 people, how much different is it if you nuke a city? | ||
| A hundred thousand, right? | ||
| A city that has a hundred thousand people and they nuke that, just to prove a point. | ||
| That's not that much of a difference to ten thousand. | ||
| Also, if Putin's on the way out or something and he just wants to take a bunch of people Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Right, if he has a disease. | ||
| If he has a disease and everyone's just like, fuck this. | ||
| I'm going to take out a bunch of people before I go. | ||
| Right, there's always a theme in Game of Thrones type, the Mad King. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's always some crazy fuck that's on his way out and it'll kill everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird how that's happening right now and everyone's not terrified. | ||
| I guess they are a little bit, but it's not like people are just bunkering down and... | ||
| Really accepting it. | ||
| No. | ||
| I guess you can't. | ||
| People are scared as fuck, and there's all these different narratives. | ||
| There's a narrative that Ukraine is filled with Nazis, and that the government's fucking gaslighting us, and that Ukraine is filled with heroes, and that the Russians are awful, and then there's many people that think, well... | ||
| We, you know, we're to blame and NATO's to blame because they're trying to get Ukraine to join NATO and then he'll have nuclear weapons in Ukraine pointing at Russia. | ||
| There's like, there's so many narratives going on right now that it's really difficult to sort through what's right and what's wrong, but it's fucking terrifying, that's for sure. | ||
| And Putin seems like, he seems like the most ruthless As far as outside of China, we know that China does a lot of ruthless shit, but Putin, in terms of the way he gets rid of his political opponents, the way he gets rid of journalists that go after him, he just fucking mercs people. | ||
| And he's been that way for a long time, right? | ||
| Or the whole time, or... | ||
| He's run the country since 99, and he used to be a KGB guy, which is like, you know, during the fucking Soviets, during the Cold War, during that era, like, who knows what that guy was involved with? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Who fucking knows? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| That's a dangerous man to have the biggest nuclear arsenal on Earth. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It's fucking terrifying when you really think about it, but I don't know. | ||
| It's more terrifying the way Mike Baker was explaining it to me. | ||
| Because he was saying we used to think of it in terms of mutually assured destruction, and that was the thing that kept us from attacking Russia and kept them from attacking us because we would blow each other up. | ||
| But he's saying now with these hypersonic weapons, it's not mutually assured destruction because they could incapacitate the United States instantaneously. | ||
| Before we have a chance to retaliate. | ||
| Before we have a chance to retaliate. | ||
| You don't have 15 minutes anymore. | ||
| You don't have 20 minutes. | ||
| You don't have an hour. | ||
| You don't have that much time. | ||
| You have seconds. | ||
| Shit, I might go back to Florida. | ||
| I think they're probably going to not get nuked. | ||
| They're pretty safe. | ||
| They're pretty safe there, right? | ||
| Think about their vantage point there from Russia. | ||
| We should saw Florida off and sell it to Russia. | ||
| Maybe they'll take it as a peace settlement. | ||
| Just swim it in like they did with the Statue of Liberty. | ||
| Here, we've got this. | ||
| Just make a nice canal above Pensacola. | ||
| Saw into it. | ||
| You can have the keys. | ||
| You can have all the alligators. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| You can have it. | ||
| We're going to give you a slice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can have all the buildings that the oligarchs bought. | ||
| There's a lot of those super wealthy oligarchs guys. | ||
| They own all that crazy real estate in Miami and all. | ||
| West Palm? | ||
| Oh, there's a lot of places down there. | ||
| There's that one island that's filled with giants. | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| You go over this bridge, and it's a three million minimum of a house, and the people there are weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they weird? | |
| Weird in this way, that they probably, I guess when money isn't an issue, you have a different lifestyle. | ||
| How so? | ||
| We went to this restaurant and I just looked around and I've gone, I'm very different than these people in this restaurant. | ||
| There was young guys there with sweaters around their thing and... | ||
| Around their neck? | ||
| Around their neck. | ||
| Those guys that tie the sweater around their neck? | ||
| Yeah, a little tied sweater and... | ||
| That's a weird look. | ||
| And none, like, look... | ||
| If I go to a restaurant, I'm still in a position where I look at the price of things on the menu and I go, I can't do that, I can't do that. | ||
| But that's not in their world. | ||
| They're just like, I'll have this and that and this. | ||
| And then there's caviar. | ||
| Caviar is like so expensive. | ||
| The only time I've got to do that is if I'm eating with you. | ||
| But it doesn't taste that good. | ||
| I mean, it's okay. | ||
| I've had caviar. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's kind of tasty. | ||
| But it's not $1,000 tasty. | ||
| Why is it so much money? | ||
| If you eat caviar, if you compared caviar to lobster, it's pretty economical compared to caviar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like steak. | ||
| But caviar does not taste better than steak. | ||
| No. | ||
| Why is it so much more money? | ||
| Because it's a status thing. | ||
| I've got caviar. | ||
| Yes, right? | ||
| I've got caviar and you don't. | ||
| I got a gold-covered steak. | ||
| You ever see that guy? | ||
| People eat cult, yeah. | ||
| That fucking Salt Bay guy, this guy? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He serves steaks that are covered in gold. | ||
| Like, you're eating gold. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| I've seen similar things. | ||
| I haven't seen the steak. | ||
| He sells a steak covered in gold. | ||
| How much? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| A thousand buck meal? | ||
| I don't care how much money I have. | ||
| I'm not buying a fucking gold covered steak. | ||
| Cut to me drunk. | ||
| You and I at a restaurant. | ||
| Fuck it, money. | ||
| Let's get that gold steak. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| You get a few fucking bottles of whiskey in me. | ||
| I'll buy anything. | ||
| You'd probably do it for a laugh if it was on the menu and you were having fun and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I was with Marc Delgrate once, and we ordered a bottle of wine from 1972. We were at this Italian restaurant, and we were like, fuck it, let's have some great wine. | ||
| And they send over Somalia, and I'm like, what do you got that's really good? | ||
| And this was the wrong place to ask this at, because it was one of those places that keeps 50-year-old bottles of wine. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How much is that? | ||
| And I think it was more than $1,000 for this bottle of wine. | ||
| So I was like, okay, let's try it. | ||
| And it wasn't good. | ||
| It wasn't good. | ||
| So we polished it off. | ||
| There was a bunch of UFC staff there. | ||
| We polished it off. | ||
| And then we were like, let's get another bottle. | ||
| Let's get like a regular bottle of wine from like 2018. And it was better. | ||
| It tested fresher. | ||
| My mate went to a wine tasting snob event and he took the Trader Joe's two buck chuck thing, but he took the label off and he said, it's just a clean skin from, he said, it's just from Australia. | ||
| You guys will love it. | ||
| And they all voted it the best wine at this whole thing. | ||
| The whole thing of these hundreds of dollars of bottles of wine and they've gone, this is the best. | ||
| He said, it's from Trader Joe's, you dickheads! | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Did they get embarrassed? | ||
| Yeah, but they're like, oh, well, it actually has a quite nice... | ||
| And I tried to talk their way out of it. | ||
| He's going, shut up. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| I went to a wine tasting thing once. | ||
| I have a buddy of mine who's a real wine connoisseur. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| And he has a wine cellar in his home. | ||
| You go into a room, and it's temperature controlled, and there's wines on the shelves. | ||
| You don't have one of them? | ||
| I would have assumed you did. | ||
| You got elk in there. | ||
| Anyway, this guy's house, he had it built. | ||
| It's a thing. | ||
| He's a serious wine guy, right? | ||
| So anyway, his birthday. | ||
| So he invites me to go to his birthday, and he's got this party with all of his wine friends. | ||
| He's like, this will be a trip. | ||
| You'll love it. | ||
| These are all these parties. | ||
| They're in this wine-tasting group that loves expensive, and they're all very wealthy people. | ||
| So I go, okay, look, let's go. | ||
| And this is a long time ago. | ||
| I was not nearly as rich. | ||
| So I go to this place, and there's these guys. | ||
| They all bring these boxes, like felt-lined boxes with wine in them. | ||
| You know, so they open up these crates, and they pull out the bottles, and they have offerings, like, you know, Eddie brought this, and Mike brought that, and Sally brought this. | ||
| And so they have these wines, and they would... | ||
| It was a very nice restaurant, so they'd bring out these small plates of food, and each plate, these eight plates, would come with a flight of wines. | ||
| So you'd have a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and then they would tell you what this was. | ||
| This was a blah, blah, blah from Bordeaux, and then they would... | ||
| They would all judge it. | ||
| And they would say, this one has, it's rich with tannins, and you can taste the oak, and they would smell it. | ||
| So, cut to, many years later, I'm watching this documentary, and this documentary is called Sour Grapes. | ||
| And this documentary is about this guy who was in that wine group. | ||
| He was a part of that wine tasting group that my friend was in. | ||
| I did not know this when I was watching the documentary. | ||
| I'm watching this documentary and I see my friend. | ||
| He's in this film. | ||
| And then I see this other guy who's in this film who's the guy who gets arrested. | ||
| And what this guy was doing was taking cheap wine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I saw that. | |
| And he was making fake labels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And he was like aging the labels and rubbing dirt on them and all kinds of shit. | ||
| What a legend. | ||
| Well, he went to jail for a long fucking time. | ||
| And this guy made millions and millions of dollars and did this with thousands and thousands of bottles of wine. | ||
| It's a fascinating, fascinating documentary because one of the things it reveals in the documentary is that these people can't really tell what's great and what's not great. | ||
| And that this one guy who had this amazing palate, I forget what his name was, but he had this amazing ability to like... | ||
| Sense like what the essence of these very expensive wines were and recreate it with cheap wines. | ||
| So we'd add a little bit of these like a chemist. | ||
| So he's in his fucking studio city house with like stacks of labels and old bottles he buy old bottles and And he would mix this stuff together to try to make a reasonable facsimile of whatever this exceptionally expensive wine was. | ||
| And then he would sell it. | ||
| How did he get busted? | ||
| He got busted because he robbed the Koch brothers. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| He went down another route. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| Because one of the Koch brothers is a wine expert. | ||
| And this guy was a wine collector. | ||
| And he had the same kind of deal. | ||
| He had this big-ass wine cellar in his home. | ||
| And he had all of these wines that were, like, really expensive. | ||
| Like, wines from the 1700s, like a million dollars a bottle, that kind of shit. | ||
| Crazy stuff, right? | ||
| And so, someone was looking at his bottles of wine, and it was like, this is not right. | ||
| Like, this is wrong. | ||
| Like, this is spelled wrong. | ||
| This is from the wrong era. | ||
| Like, this company didn't make a magnum in this era. | ||
| That's his name, Rudy. | ||
| That guy, Rudy. | ||
| Good on you, Rudy. | ||
| Rudy is the guy who I met. | ||
| I met him at this wine party. | ||
| I remember him. | ||
| Because they were all sitting around talking about all these different wines and the flavors. | ||
| And so click on those bottles down there, the one that shows the label. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So those are fake bottles that Rudy had created. | ||
| And one of the companies, one of the wine producers, one of the vineyards, they had seen in Sotheby's, they were auctioning off wine. | ||
| And they had seen that there was labels of wines from their vineyard that they had never produced. | ||
| And so they got involved with it as well. | ||
| And when the Koch brothers had realized they had gotten taken, they started severely investigating and looking deep into this. | ||
| And they found that this guy had done this with so many bottles of wine that there was literally thousands of them out there that were counterfeit that had been sold for untold amounts of money. | ||
| And he's just making him in his underpants in Studio City. | ||
| It's not just that. | ||
| He had a... | ||
| I think it was his brother. | ||
| His brother was involved... | ||
| Was he from Indonesia? | ||
| Is that where he's from? | ||
| He was from another country. | ||
| And his brother was involved in some banking scam where he had bilked people out of fucking millions of dollars. | ||
| And his brother took off and vanished with millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| And then this guy winds up going to jail for... | ||
| For selling millions and millions of dollars of fake wines. | ||
| And then gets out and they fucking kick him out of the country recently. | ||
| He got out and they kicked him out and now he's over there and he is, you know, presumably someone has the money. | ||
| And they don't know like where all the money went and how it was distributed and also he had to have help. | ||
| There was other part of the film where they were speculating how many people had to be involved to create this many, like this guy couldn't have done this all in his apartment, make these thousands and thousands of bottles of wine. | ||
| So at the end of the film, they're destroying this wine that's worth fucking untold amounts of money people bought it for. | ||
| But they don't know how much he had in distribution that's just out there in these private collections. | ||
| Because at one point in the film, one guy says, This is a bottle that Rudy sold me, and this is one of the real ones before he was selling fake wine. | ||
| Because what Rudy was doing in the beginning was he was going to auctions and he was buying the most expensive wines. | ||
| So he was spending probably the brother's money when the brother was the thief. | ||
| They're probably in cahoots. | ||
| So he's using all this money and buying all this super expensive wine. | ||
| So he had been known as this big-time collector. | ||
| So then once he becomes known as this big-time collector, It's his uncle. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| His uncle, Eddie Tansil, was convicted in 1994 of embezzling 420 million from an Indonesian bank. | ||
| The money was not recovered. | ||
| And two years later, Tansil bribed his way out of prison and escaped to China, where he is believed to be today. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So in 2019, the government seized 2.1 million worth of wine that this guy, Kurniawan, that's Rudy, had stored at the wine cellarage in New York City. | ||
| But Vasquez listed a lot of other wines owned by, I don't know how to say his last name, that the auction house Christie's, it's not Sotheby's, sorry, Christie's was holding out of reach of the U.S. government. | ||
| Wild shit, man. | ||
| But now that $2.1 million that they've seized is worth shit because it's this crap wine. | ||
| Well, look at this. | ||
| She said that out of the $20 million in property that Rudy owes the U.S. government, more than $18 million had not been collected. | ||
| This is wild stuff, man. | ||
| It's a wild documentary because it exposes this weird kink that these people have of having this wine that's very difficult to get. | ||
| But it's not much better. | ||
| I think it's funny just because these wankers talking about the tannins in their wine and this one's worth way more and this guy's just like, yeah, fucking put this label on and charge them that for it. | ||
| Well, this guy was really good at it, man. | ||
| They'll make a movie about it. | ||
| He fooled a lot of people. | ||
| But in this film, this one guy who opens the bottle goes, this is one of the real bottles that Rudy had sold me. | ||
| And so they're drinking it, and one of the guys is like, yes, this is great. | ||
| And the other guy sniffs it and tastes it. | ||
| He goes, how long has this been opened? | ||
| And he's like, oh, a couple hours. | ||
| And he goes, this is piss. | ||
| This is like skunk piss. | ||
| This is terrible. | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| This is not nearly the effervescence. | ||
| It doesn't have the je ne sais quoi. | ||
| He's using all these... | ||
| He's like, I'm a real expert. | ||
| This wine's bullshit. | ||
| And it's like, God. | ||
| And so my friend who I talked to, who was in the documentary, I was like, how much can you tell? | ||
| Like, how much can you tell? | ||
| He's like, Rudy had an incredible palate. | ||
| And he had this ability to recognize... | ||
| There are some people, allegedly, I'm not sure this is real. | ||
| This might be like the fucking Chinese death touch. | ||
| But there were some people, you know, like Kung Fu death, where they pretend they can, and people go flying. | ||
| He goes, there's some people that you can open up a bottle of wine, they can sip it, and they can throw it around their mouth, and they can tell you what part of the world it's from, what vineyard it's from. | ||
| Like, they have an exceptional palate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is supposedly true. | ||
| I think that's true. | ||
| I think it's true. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| So I'm just saying supposedly. | ||
| And he was saying Rudy was one of those guys. | ||
| He had an exceptional palate. | ||
| Like some people are exceptionally good at creating music. | ||
| He was exceptionally good at recognizing like the vintage of certain wines. | ||
| I applaud this guy. | ||
| I'm all for it. | ||
| I'm all for crime against idiots. | ||
| Well, it's hard to feel sorry for them. | ||
| Well, it's their own fault. | ||
| They're sitting there going, this is exceptional and blah, blah. | ||
| Yes, I'll pay this for that. | ||
| You paid for it. | ||
| He didn't sell it at a store and hustle a bunch of regular people. | ||
| He sold it to dickheads. | ||
| The Koch brother guy who had it, he had some wine that was from fucking Thomas Jefferson and some shit. | ||
| Some really fucking old wine with people's signature on it. | ||
| And they were like, that's not his signature. | ||
| This is not real. | ||
| Do you remember I gave you a bottle of Penfolds Grange at the Comedy Store one night? | ||
| I was across the road at what is considered like the Australian Oscars, whatever that is, and they were serving all this fancy Australian wine. | ||
| Penfolds Grange is, I don't know, maybe it's $400, $600 a bottle, I'm not sure. | ||
| And I thought, I'm going to try and get one for Joe, because I'd done some shows with you out here, and I just wanted to give you something nice. | ||
| And I said to the bartender, can I have a bottle of the grains? | ||
| He goes, I can't. | ||
| He's an Australian guy too. | ||
| He goes, I can't give you a bottle. | ||
| But I'm just going to turn around for exactly 20 seconds and make this cocktail over here. | ||
| And I'm just like, oh, you legend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a great day. | |
| And so I grabbed it and I put it down in my suit, in my pants, and I casually walked out of the Australian Oscars, you know, straight-legged. | ||
| And I went across the road and gave it to you. | ||
| It was good wine. | ||
| I hope it wasn't fake. | ||
| No, it wasn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got it straight from Rudy. | |
| But I mean, that world is a strange world, man. | ||
| The world of really rich people looking for ways to spend their money on... | ||
| You know, they think that that's what powers the whole... | ||
| This is like Tiger Penis World and Rhino Horn. | ||
| Tiger Penis World. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No, I think that's a place in Florida next to Disneyland, Tiger Penis World. | ||
| There's a group of people that are really into drinking rhino horn tea. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's only because rhino horn is so hard to get. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you do, it's not like it's better than like mint tea or some shit. | ||
| I'm sure like regular fucking Lipton tea is probably tastier. | ||
| Has it got anything to do with, and this is silly, but has it got to do with erections? | ||
| Like, is that why they drink it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Supposedly. | |
| Yeah, supposedly. | ||
| But I think more than that, what it really is, is that you're eating something or drinking something that is so forbidden that it's an animal that's on the verge of extinction. | ||
| And so if you are one of these people that has, like, a fucking billion-dollar yacht, and you're driving a Bugatti, and you have a party, and you're like, we're going to serve rhino horn tea, like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ho, ho! | |
| Oh, look at us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, we are. | |
| We're elite. | ||
| Yes, we are. | ||
| And they sit around and drink this fucking tea that came from an endangered species horn. | ||
| Do you know pineapples used to be like that? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Back in the day, it was very, very hard to get pineapples, so they were a symbol of wealth, and they wouldn't eat them. | ||
| They'd have them on the centerpiece of the table and go, we have a pineapple. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And it was, you know, a sign of, look how good we are, and you're a poverty-stricken... | ||
| When was this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I make things up. | ||
| Hundreds of years ago? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| When I was in Hawaii, we went fishing and I caught a fish that was like Moana. | ||
| You know, like the fucking Moana fish? | ||
| Like the movie Moana? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is like a fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's like a Moana fish. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And one of the guys on the boat told me that this fish, back in the day, if you had that fish and you weren't in the royal family, if you caught that fish, you had to give it to the royal family. | ||
| If they caught you eating that fish, they would behead you. | ||
| The Royal Family of Hawaii, not the British Royal Family. | ||
| The Royal Family of Hawaii, back when Hawaii was its own country, which was until the 1950s. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's a crazy history there. | ||
| There's one of those islands that you can't go to unless you're authentically Hawaiian. | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I can't remember which one it's called, but I've gone past it on a boat. | ||
| It's kind of crazy that you fly five hours in a plane over the ocean to go to the United States. | ||
| Like, you're in the United States? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| And then you fly five hours in a plane over the ocean, and then you land, and you're still in the United States? | ||
| It made me a little sad when I went there the first time, because I'm like, oh, Hawaii! | ||
| And then I went there, and all the infrastructure, like the highways and stuff, just are America, this American sign and everything. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, it's kind of just been massacred with, you know, a little bit like that. | ||
| But there's also a lot of street names that you're not gonna fucking pronounce correctly. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Because it's all Hawaiian names. | ||
| We've got that in Australia too. | ||
| Aboriginal names that you just go, what the fuck? | ||
| Well, my buddy Adam Greentree, he lives in Australia and he works a lot with Aboriginal people because he's in the mining business. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And he told me that they're called mobs. | ||
| That's what they call like a tribe of Aborigines. | ||
| He said you can go like 30 kilometers and there's a new group that has a language that the group 30 kilometers away does not know. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And there are hundreds of those. | ||
| Hundreds of different languages within the Aboriginal communities. | ||
| And they're losing them. | ||
| They're losing them. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because they're not written down, they're not studied, and these people are going to die off and their language is going to die off with them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's a lot of people trying still to hold on, but it's just, I mean, it's hard because there is so many different dialects and stuff like that. | ||
| There's a whole area in Australia called Arnhem Land that's protected and you can't go in there unless you're indigenous Aboriginal and they live back the way they used to and stuff. | ||
| Isn't that where they have all those Asiatic water buffaloes, those giant water buffaloes there? | ||
| Ooh, I haven't heard of that, but probably. | ||
| We've got a lot of weird shit. | ||
| Yeah, they have invasive water buffalo that they brought from Asia. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| And they run rampant over that area, the northern lands. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Arnhem Land's up in Northern Territory. | ||
| Yeah, and my friend Adam goes up. | ||
| There's, in fact, in the LA studio, and I'm going to bring it back soon, there's a giant buffalo skull that Adam gave me that was above the American flag in my old studio. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| There was an American flag right above it was a giant buffalo skull that Adam had killed. | ||
| And he got that from? | ||
| He got it from Arnhem Land. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, he went up there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He hunts up there all the time. | ||
| Is he Aboriginal? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know how he gets permission. | ||
| Yeah, you can get permission and go. | ||
| But he works with a lot of those folks. | ||
| Maybe you have to pay or something. | ||
| I don't know what the deal is. | ||
| But they would go up there and Yeah, look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| Oh, that's the thing that Crocodile Dundee puts to sleep. | ||
| Oh, yeah, but that's not real. | ||
| Oh, that's completely real. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| That thing will fuck you up. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| He did that, and he put it to sleep. | ||
| It's a true story. | ||
| He said those things are really dangerous. | ||
| He said, but what's more dangerous is what they call scrub bulls. | ||
| Do you know what a scrub bull is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Scrub bulls are wild domestic cattle. | ||
| So they're wild bulls, like bull riding bulls, that have been living out there for generations, like hundreds of years. | ||
| Like they probably imported them many years ago, and then they broke loose from a fence or something like that, and they got out there. | ||
| Like they have a thing about that in the West. | ||
| In the West of America, there's who knows how many wild horses. | ||
| They're all over the place in certain states, and they're just running around, these wild horses. | ||
| Well, they have that in Australia. | ||
| They have these scrub bulls, and they look wild, man. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Like, look at some of them. | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| Like a bossing. | ||
| Yeah, their horns are crazy. | ||
| Look at that one right there with the guy with the rifle propped up against it. | ||
| Look at the horns on that thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| If you saw that, you'd be like, what is that? | ||
| Like, who the one that you have your cursor over? | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| But he said, those are fucking... | ||
| Ferocious! | ||
| Aggressive? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He said, so aggressive. | ||
| And look at the size of them. | ||
| And he said, if those see you out there, they will come charging at you. | ||
| And one of his buddies got gutted from one of those. | ||
| And he escaped and climbed up a tree, but they had to airlift him to a hospital and his guts were hanging out. | ||
| The thing gored him and sent him flying. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| And, you know, stuck something in his guts, and luckily he lived, but a lot of people die. | ||
| They get crushed by those things. | ||
| Well, you're out in the middle of absolutely nowhere there. | ||
| And those things target you. | ||
| Like, they don't fuck around. | ||
| Like, they see you, and they're like, what are you doing here, bitch? | ||
| And they just come after you. | ||
| Like, where the Asiatic water buffalo... | ||
| Oh, is that their sound? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give me that. | |
| There's one coming in. | ||
| Pigman hunting bulls down there. | ||
| Oh, pigman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just wanted to see if they had anything. | ||
| Pigman is a dude who, him and Ted Nugent, there's a video called Apocalypse Now, where they hunt pigs from helicopters. | ||
| Like Apocalypse Now. | ||
| So is that, he's hunting a scrub bull there? | ||
| Yeah, I was just trying to see if they had... | ||
| That's a little one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a baby. | ||
| That might be in Texas. | ||
| Is that Australia? | ||
| No, it's Australia. | ||
| Yeah, Queensland. | ||
| Because he lives in Australia. | ||
| Excuse me, he lives in Texas. | ||
| That wasn't that exciting. | ||
| That was good. | ||
| Yeah, but hunting them with a bow and arrow is how Adam hunts them too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, bro, you might want to bring a rifle. | |
| Yeah, shit. | ||
| I didn't know that they were lurking out. | ||
| There's a lot of things that want to kill you in Australia. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| A lot of bow hunting in Australia. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Well, I don't, but I'm not surprised. | ||
| It's super popular out there. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff to kill. | ||
| Well, there's so many wild animals that are invasive species. | ||
| Camels. | ||
| Just shooting camels. | ||
| I bet they do hunt camels over there. | ||
| Pull that up. | ||
| You'd be definitely allowed to do this. | ||
| Bow hunting camels in Australia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet they do that. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| They hunt cats. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| What kind of cats? | ||
| Feral cats, like house cats. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's a real issue. | ||
| Like a ragdoll running out there. | ||
| They have imported so many cats over there because they were trying to kill off different species. | ||
| They brought in cats, and then the cats started decimating all the ground-nesting birds and wildlife. | ||
| They've not had a good history of bringing other animals in to stop up. | ||
| That's a terrible idea. | ||
| Camel hunting. | ||
| Using bow and archery hunting. | ||
| Click on that, please. | ||
| Click on that video. | ||
| This guy's going to hunt a camel. | ||
| The camel's like, what is happening? | ||
| That's a weird hunt, because that thing is just like, what are you doing? | ||
| It's not like it knows that you're a predator. | ||
| That camel is very much aware that that guy's there, and it's not worried about him, and he just sticks it. | ||
| And here comes the shot, and... | ||
| into the vitals. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Apparently camel meat is delicious. | ||
| I've had camel. | ||
| Bourdain had some somewhere in the Middle East, and he said it was very good. | ||
| What did it taste like to you? | ||
| Shitty. | ||
| Shitty? | ||
| Yeah, I had alligator and emu and camel and something else when I was in Alice Springs, which is where Uluru is, you know, the big rock in Australia. | ||
| The what is? | ||
| Uluru. | ||
| Uluru? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Uluru. | ||
| What's Uluru? | ||
| You say it like I'm supposed to know what the fuck that is. | ||
| Oh, you don't know what that is? | ||
| Do you know what that is? | ||
| It's a giant... | ||
| Nobody knows what that is. | ||
| So the whole of the app... | ||
| He said it's like, you know, where Yankee Stadium is. | ||
| Have you seen this before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You've never seen that before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's one of our iconic things. | ||
| It's a fucking rock. | ||
| It's a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Everything else is flat around it. | ||
| Completely flat. | ||
| For, you know, kilometers in every direction. | ||
| And then this rock just is there for no reason. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| That's probably one of them things where Sadhguru talked about, where if you go there, you meet aliens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Seems like it. | ||
| Yeah, that was a fun, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Starway to heaven. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Something placed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| Yeah, monstrous. | ||
| You could fit the Eiffel Tower, Sydney Harbor Bridge, Statue of Liberty, Great Pyramid of Giza, and Big Ben. | ||
| Yeah, they're all inside there. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| And do they have any geological explanation as to why that thing exists? | ||
| If they do, I don't know it, but it just pops straight up like that. | ||
| And it's literally in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| What? | ||
| I've been there, and it's one of those places that you go... | ||
| I've been to Niagara Falls and stuff like that and you get this sense of just a history of the earth and something's happened, something's happened, you don't know what it is, whether it's a meteor that's gone and stuck into the earth or whatever it is, but you know something great happened at one stage. | ||
| Somewhere in the history of the earth? | ||
| Yeah, you can just feel a presence, like a real earthy... | ||
| So it just feels off? | ||
| No, you feel very grounded when you're there. | ||
| You feel very at one with nature and everything and something. | ||
| It just feels very special. | ||
| It's like a special place. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it because you know it's a special place or does it genuinely feel like a special place? | ||
| Maybe I've known it my whole life and then I saw it and I was like, oh, this is so special. | ||
| It's like when I went to Graceland. | ||
| And I thought, oh, this is so special. | ||
| Show me the toilet where Elvis died. | ||
| It was the best. | ||
| I loved that when I went to Graceland. | ||
| When you went to that rock, how long does it take to get there? | ||
| From Alice Springs. | ||
| I'm just going to guess that it's maybe like somewhere between a five and a ten hour drive or something like that. | ||
| Maybe it's closer. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But that whole area, it's so big. | ||
| I mean, Australia is the size of the United States. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the population is only in... | ||
| Like if we were talking about a map of the United States, our population is only in... | ||
| LA, and then from New York down to Florida, all on the coast. | ||
| And then everything else, you think of every state in the middle, like Texas, everything, there's nothing there. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| And the amount of population, I think, is just less than the population of California. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I think it's 28 million or something like that now. | ||
| Which is probably just LA, if you count all the illegals. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's just... | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Downpours? | ||
| Yeah, I was just looking. | ||
| It barely rains there, and they asked that you don't take photographs. | ||
| And the last fun fact was that less than 1% of people even get to see these waterfalls that appear when heavy rainfall hits. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, when it rains on the rock. | ||
| People talk about it. | ||
| It's a very, very special event. | ||
| It looks like the brain has carved a path through the rocks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go back to the beginning of that, please. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Doesn't that look like the rain has smoothed that out and carved its way through that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Why do they tell you not to take pictures? | ||
| It's a very sacred Aboriginal spot. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So they don't want... | ||
| Meanwhile, here's some dickhead. | ||
| Here's some dick. | ||
| Trodding around in it, taking pictures. | ||
| Well, you used to be able to climb up it and everything, and then they took that away. | ||
| Ah, because people fucked with it? | ||
| Yeah, fuck that. | ||
| I don't want a bunch of fat tourists walking all over the rock to sleep. | ||
| Look at those images of the waterfalls. | ||
| Look at those right there. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Look at those five. | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| Yeah, it's unreal. | ||
| I wonder what the fucking... | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Where it's like carved those divots. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Now, is there an explanation? | ||
| See if there's an explanation. | ||
| Why does that rock exist? | ||
| There's stories in the Aboriginal culture of why it's there that are, you know, from the dream time and stuff. | ||
| What do they say? | ||
| I don't want to get it wrong and in trouble, but the one that I kind of remember is that they gathered all the criminals and stuff at the time, back hundreds of thousands of years ago or something, and they dropped a big rock on them to keep them under there. | ||
| It says it's been a significant landmark to Aboriginal people since the beginning. | ||
| The natural landmark is thought to have been formed by ancestral beings during the dreaming. | ||
| According to the local Aboriginal people, Uluru's numerous caves and fissures were all formed due to ancestral beings' actions in the dreaming. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Dreaming is a dream time. | ||
| So while you're asleep? | ||
| While you're asleep, basically, yeah. | ||
| So they have a different thought of what dream time is? | ||
| They believe it's when you go into the dream time and you're asleep, it's a place in between this world and the afterlife, and you can meet people in this dream time in sleep, and you can heal them and stuff like that. | ||
| It's really, really fascinating. | ||
| It's one of my... | ||
| Favorite cultural things that I've learned, and it's just very grounding. | ||
| I mean, the Aboriginal people are the closest to earth and everything of any other culture. | ||
| They're so ingrained with the way that the world that they live in works. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And so, yeah, the Dreamtime's a big thing, and that's where they get a lot of their stories that they pass down and stuff like that. | ||
| I've always wondered what the fuck dreaming is. | ||
| Because they think that dreaming, there's some sort of a psychedelic chemical release by the brain during dreaming. | ||
| Because dreams and some psychedelic chemicals that are endogenously produced in the brain, like DMT, that they have similar properties. | ||
| One similar property is that if you do a DMT trip, if you have that experience, once it's over, you know it very vividly. | ||
| It escapes your memory very quickly. | ||
| Almost like you're trying to grab a ghost or you're trying to grab fog. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Like you can't hold on to the memory. | ||
| You know how you wake up from a dream and you're like, dude, I had the craziest dream. | ||
| But if you don't tell somebody that dream within like the first 30 seconds or write it down, you're going to forget it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, how is that possible if it was such a vivid memory when you woke up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know that feeling? | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I lucid dream. | ||
| I have since I was a kid, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I can control my dreams. | ||
| I've been able to do it since I was 13. You're a wizard. | ||
| I remember the first time I did it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're a wizard. | |
| I know. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| Every time I go to sleep, I basically am playing Grand Theft Auto and I usually just grab a... | ||
| I do it every time I go, I could, I'm dreaming. | ||
| And I grab a Ferrari and I just go... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I met a guy when I was about... | ||
| Oh, see, I'd be sleeping all the time. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to have a nap after this. | ||
| I met a guy in my early 20s who was a dream analysis and I told him, I've gone, oh, I lose a dream. | ||
| And he said, really? | ||
| And he was so interested in me. | ||
| He said, next time you do it, see if you can control it and then I want you to call me. | ||
| And so when I went to bed that night, I said, all right. | ||
| And I knew that I was dreaming because I saw a chocolate, I was in a 7-Eleven or something. | ||
| I saw a chocolate bar that I knew didn't exist. | ||
| And I went, that's out of place and that's not right. | ||
| And I looked around and went, oh, I'm in a dream. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| And so I went out and I got in a car and I drove around and then I got in the air and I flew myself to New York and I was flying around buildings in New York. | ||
| And then I think that's all I can really remember. | ||
| And I woke up and I told the guy this and he... | ||
| He was beside himself. | ||
| He's like, oh my god! | ||
| Like, only a very small percentage of people can lucid dream and then a very, very small can control that and actually have control within the dream. | ||
| You can control parts, but not everything. | ||
| But I can control everything. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| And you've always been able to do this? | ||
| Since I was 13. I remember the first time that I did it at my grandma's place and I woke up and went, oh my god. | ||
| Does this happen every time you sleep? | ||
| Not every time because sometimes I just don't dream or something or I don't think about it and I wake up and it's not like I write it down in my dream journal. | ||
| But I'd say 90% of the time, yes, I do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So you live two lives. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And it's always interesting when I find out that it's the dream, because it's usually a normal scenario, but something's out of place. | ||
| Like I look over and go, that hat's not right. | ||
| And then I look around. | ||
| And then in the last sort of 10 years, a stranger thing has been happening is I realize it's a dream. | ||
| And everyone in that dream looks at me and knows that I know. | ||
| And I know I've only got about 30 seconds before they kick me out of the dream. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so I'm like, fuck you guys! | ||
| And so I run off and go and do shit until I get kicked out of the dream or something. | ||
| Like a lucid dream, how long do they usually last for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, how long do dreams go and how long do you remember and stuff? | ||
| But I've done some crazy shit and had full adventures in my dreams and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow, that's gotta be so fucking cool. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Apparently, that's something you can cultivate. | ||
| Like, you can learn how to do that. | ||
| Which makes me think, like, why don't I know how to do that? | ||
| I've never even thought about it. | ||
| I've never tried to. | ||
| I remember I watched a film once that it said, it was a documentary, it said, if you think you might be dreaming, here's a way to tell. | ||
| Walk up to, like, when you're walking through a doorway, knock on the side of the doorway and go, am I dreaming? | ||
| And if you can't knock on something, then you realize, oh, this is a dream. | ||
| And it did happen to me once. | ||
| One time I did that, where I went and I tried to knock on the door, like, oh, I'm dreaming. | ||
| And I realized I was dreaming, and nothing crazy happened. | ||
| I mean, I've had crazy dreams before, but not this time. | ||
| But I was kind of in this lucid dream, and then I woke up. | ||
| People spend a lot of time trying to get that. | ||
| Like, we'll do that and then the next night we'll try again and stuff to get themselves to a point where they can lucid dream. | ||
| It's just always happened to me since I was a kid. | ||
| That's wild, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if there's like a study they could do on you. | ||
| They could do plenty of studies on me, but I don't think it's a good idea. | ||
| I think if they sat you down in a sleep study and examined what is happening during your brain, and if you could wake up and go, yes, I was lucid dreaming, this is what I did, I wonder if they could see the activity. | ||
| I used to sleepwalk a lot, too. | ||
| I locked myself out of the house, out in the street, in my underpants. | ||
| Yeah, dangerous shit. | ||
| You know Michael Bisping, the fighter? | ||
| I heard that. | ||
| I was laughing my ass off. | ||
| It was so funny. | ||
| But I've done all that sort of stuff. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| For people who weren't listening to that episode, Mike has night terrors. | ||
| And he had a night terror where he had family stand over his house. | ||
| He runs out naked and climbs over the neighbor's fence. | ||
| And now, granted, this is not just a regular person. | ||
| This is a former UFC middleweight champion of the world who's fucking savage, who's out there screaming naked, climbing the neighbor's fence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it wakes up in the middle of it and realizes what he's done. | |
| I've done that, but I have my boxer shorts on. | ||
| I wasn't completely naked. | ||
| God, he sleeps naked. | ||
| I think if you were a fucking guy who has night terrors, you'd probably sleep with pajamas on. | ||
| Maybe put a little precautionary underpant on something, yeah. | ||
| I might even sleep with shoes on. | ||
| Why take a chance? | ||
| What if I step on broken glass and I'm running around like a fucking maniac? | ||
| That's a thing, though, that night terrors, where people just run out and smash through windows and shit and get cut up and don't realize what happened to them. | ||
| There's been stories of people jumping out of windows and really hurting themselves and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard those. | ||
| The bad thing about, well, not the bad thing, but sometimes it happens when I've, let's say I've been out, and I haven't done it in a while, but a whole weekend of partying and stuff, and I'm quite hungover in my, you know, when your brain's not working properly and stuff, and then I think, oh, is this a dream? | ||
| And it's not. | ||
| And I'm looking around going, oh, this is a dream, and I go, hey, hey, it's not. | ||
| Don't do anything stupid. | ||
| You're not in a dream right now. | ||
| You're just hammered. | ||
| You're just hammered. | ||
| I need to go home. | ||
| You think you can fly? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm like, I'm going to fly to New York! | ||
| And I just jump off something. | ||
| It's like that old Bill Hicks joke. | ||
| Young man on acid. | ||
| Thinks he can fly. | ||
| Jumps off a building. | ||
| What a tragedy. | ||
| He goes, what a dick. | ||
| He goes, I really thought he could fly. | ||
| Why don't you just take off from the ground? | ||
| He goes, the world lost a moron. | ||
| It's a fucking great bit. | ||
| Yeah, it's funny. | ||
| He's a great bit on how come nobody ever, like, realized, like, there's no positive drug stories in the news. | ||
| You ever heard that bit? | ||
| No. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| Bill Hicks, Young Man on Acid. | ||
| I had a t-shirt a while back that was Young Man on Acid. | ||
| Bill Hicks is one of those comedians that I kind of missed just in my entry to comedy and being in Australia and not knowing him and I know from the stories. | ||
| Same with Kinnison. | ||
| He was a guy that I saw when I was just starting out. | ||
| I was only like a year in a comedy or so. | ||
| And he had been on Roddy... | ||
| Drink from the beginning. | ||
| This is from Revelations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, what a fucking tragedy, huh? | |
| I guess I'm one car length up in traffic tomorrow. | ||
| How about a positive LSD story? | ||
| That would be newsworthy. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Anybody think that? | ||
| Just once to hear a positive LSD story? | ||
| Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. | ||
| That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively There is no such thing as death. | ||
| Life is only a dream. | ||
| And we are the imagination of ourselves. | ||
| Here's Tom with the weather. | ||
| You guys are great. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Close with that. | ||
| That was a revelation. | ||
| How many years did Bill Hicks get? | ||
| He died in the 90s. | ||
| I know he died in the 90s because I knew his girlfriend and I was living in New York and so this was like 93 and she was a comic and I did a gig with her In Connecticut, and we were talking about it, and it was a real bummer for her. | ||
| They had already broken up and everything like that, but she knew him back in the day, and I remember at the time, it was a weird connection. | ||
| I had seen him, I saw him bomb one time, hard, to the point where he cleared the room, and he never lost confidence. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| That's why it's so good. | ||
| I never saw a guy bomb so comfortably. | ||
| Like, he didn't mind. | ||
| It was the same club that gave you Coke or Cash. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's where he bombed in Boston. | ||
| It was called the Coke or Cash. | ||
| No. | ||
| Next Comedy Stop. | ||
| Is that still around or something? | ||
| I don't think it's the same owners. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was a full-on mob-run joint at one point in time. | ||
| The Comedy Store was a bit like that, wasn't it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The Comedy Store was run by Mitzi. | ||
| The club beforehand was... | ||
| Yes, Ciro's. | ||
| Ciro's Nightclub was Bugsy Siegel's place. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's why there was always stories about ghosts at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Yeah, I've done that tour and stuff. | ||
| Have you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't remember who took me through. | ||
| Maybe Tommy or... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Did they take you in the basement? | ||
| Yeah, everywhere and show me where the hole was where they'd get people to walk up the stairs and then... | ||
| Yeah, allegedly. | ||
| I mean, who knows how much of that's true. | ||
| But for sure, people got whacked there. | ||
| I mean, if you're at Bugsy Siegel's nightclub, for sure, someone's drunk and someone's mad and someone shoots somebody. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, look, people shot at people at the store. | ||
| There used to be a bullet hole in the back sign in the back parking lot because Kinison was mad at Dice Clay and he shot a fucking hole through the sign. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they fixed it. | ||
| I was like, why did you fix it? | ||
| How could you fix it? | ||
| So the bullet hole's still there, but the sign used to have a crack in it where the bullet had gone through and then gone into the wall. | ||
| Someone was shot there about eight years ago, because I was... | ||
| Yes, there was an audience member. | ||
| He was involved in some sort of illegal activity, and some rival gang member showed up and shot him on the patio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Hinchcliffe was there when that went down. | ||
| I know Rose was there. | ||
| Rose the bartender was there when that happened. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Terrifying shit. | ||
| Yeah, but that place, who knows how many people had been killed there during the Ciro's days, but that was run by Bugsy Siegel. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was like a... | ||
| I used to say there's a booze-running thing from the house down to the stall. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| Yeah, there's a house on Crest Hill, which is right above it, which I almost bought at one point in time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but I had a crazy dog who was an escape artist, and... | ||
| He goes through the tunnel and just gets down to the comedy store. | ||
| No, the fence situation was not suitable. | ||
| It was like it didn't have a big enough yard for him, and the fence was not suitable, and he was smart. | ||
| And I was like, I am going to have this dog get loose and run around the neighborhood. | ||
| What kind of dog? | ||
| He's a pit bull. | ||
| Yeah, you don't need that. | ||
| He was not the dog you wanted getting out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That was my... | ||
| Complete opposite of Marshall. | ||
| Yeah, total opposite of Marshall. | ||
| That was my younger, much more feral days when I used to have piranhas, too. | ||
| I had piranhas. | ||
| I had a tank full of piranhas. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| I had a tank filled with piranhas, and I bought a human skeleton online. | ||
| You could buy a human skeleton. | ||
| This is like 1990... | ||
| You should put it in a Buddhist statue. | ||
| ...five or some shit like that. | ||
| You could buy a human... | ||
| And I thought about this now. | ||
| Like, you know, I was fucking in my 20s at the time. | ||
| And I thought about this now. | ||
| I was like, how the fuck did I buy a skeleton? | ||
| This is like the early days of the internet where they had websites where you could buy things. | ||
| It seemed bizarre that you could buy anything. | ||
| Yeah, the Pam or Tommy tape or a skeleton, and you went for the skeleton. | ||
| The Pam or Tommy tape is free. | ||
| Everybody is handing that out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you watch that limited series? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Was it good? | ||
| It was good. | ||
| It was very sort of well done and it was every 13-year-old boy's fantasy come true because Pam was... | ||
| Pam, she looked exactly like her. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, it was incredible how well they did with that. | ||
| I saw a clip of it where Tommy was in his underwear and he was mad at some carpenters. | ||
| Yeah, he's in his underwear a lot in the series. | ||
| I met him once, because my buddy was a bodyguard for Tommy, and Tommy wanted to fight Kid Rock, because this was when... | ||
| That's such a fun fight. | ||
| Because this is when Kid Rock, he had married Pam for a while. | ||
| Yeah, after Tommy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so I guess the two of them were doing like what Pete Davidson and Kanye West are doing right now. | ||
| Like publicly quarreling over one of their former ladies. | ||
| And so I went to see... | ||
| It was when they had that Rockstar Supernova TV show. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| There was a show called Rockstar Supernova. | ||
| And it was like they put together a band. | ||
| God, I hope I'm not fucking this up. | ||
| Because I never watched it, but my friend, I don't need to say his name, introduced me. | ||
| He's like, hey, Tommy wants to meet you, but he also wants you to help him because he wants to fight Kid Rock. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| He has an ulterior motive. | ||
| He wants to fight Kid Rock. | ||
| I don't know if he wanted me to train him or help find him trainers. | ||
| To commentate something. | ||
| Yeah, by the way. | ||
| So I go and meet him. | ||
| He's like, I want to fuck him up. | ||
| And I looked at Tommy. | ||
| I'm like, Kid Rock is... | ||
| Like, that is a wild boy from the South. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Your money's on Kid Rock? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I just think... | ||
| At the time, I would have put money on Kid Rock. | ||
| They seem pretty matched height-wise and size-wise, right? | ||
| The amount of deterioration they've done to their bodies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I was like, Tommy, I don't like your chances here. | ||
| I think Kid Rock is wild! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kid Rock, even the way he would sing, Kid Rock! | |
| Yeah, right. | ||
| He was a wild boy back in the day. | ||
| Kid Rock was wild. | ||
| I went to Kid Rock's house in Nashville and he has a replica of the White House built on his property in Nashville. | ||
| It is a massive house that he's building. | ||
| It's quite a bit bigger than the actual White House. | ||
| It's quite a bit bigger, yeah. | ||
| The real White House is pretty small. | ||
| Does he have an oval office and everything? | ||
| No, it's way better than that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It is two bedrooms. | ||
| It's about 27,000 square feet. | ||
| It has two bedrooms. | ||
| It has the guest bedroom, and it has his main bedroom. | ||
| The rest of the house is just party. | ||
| He has a gold elevator in the center of the house, and the construction worker was like, The construction was like, well, a lot of people like to hide their elevators. | ||
| It's like, fuck that! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, I want people coming over to my house like, Kid Grok's got a fucking gold elevator! | |
| He has a steam room. | ||
| He has like a jacuzzi room that is fucking as big as the studio. | ||
| It's an enormous jacuzzi room, but it's built like an old underground mine. | ||
| So you have like exposed beams and lanterns, like old-timey lanterns that are hanging. | ||
| That sounds unreal. | ||
| Oh, it's sick! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because he's like a fucking redneck with insane amounts of money. | |
| He's got insane amounts of money, and he's got this fucking ridiculous house that he's built up there. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| It's in Nashville. | ||
| Oh, Nashville. | ||
| With this amazing view. | ||
| Amazing view. | ||
| I was up there... | ||
| Why did he do the White House? | ||
| Because he's a fucking animal! | ||
| Like, why not? | ||
| He's like, I don't give a fuck! | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He's a wild dude. | ||
| The setup was incredible, though. | ||
| I mean, he has a golden shower, like a literal golden shower. | ||
| You walk into like... | ||
| Off the master bathroom. | ||
| He's so happy to show you all this shit, too. | ||
| Off the master bedroom is the master bathroom, and the master bathroom has a giant shower that has gold tile. | ||
| I mean, it's like literal gold. | ||
| He's a golden shower. | ||
| The entire shower is gold. | ||
| Everything's gold. | ||
| It's not fake gold, it's real gold. | ||
| No, it's real gold. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| He thought it'd be fun to have a golden shower. | ||
| It's like you give a fucking 13-year-old kid $100 million and you say, build whatever the fuck you want! | ||
| I want a golden shower, bitch! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want everybody to know Kid Rock's got a fucking gold elevator in the middle of his house. | |
| It's hilarious. | ||
| He's such a nice guy. | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| Kid Rock is a really friendly guy. | ||
| He's a fun guy to hang around with. | ||
| What a character. | ||
| I guess he's around my age. | ||
| I guess he's around my age. | ||
| How old is Kid Rock? | ||
| He's a fucking character though, man. | ||
| He's just, his whole place, he's got a church on his property. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is he a church guy? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| He's turned 51. 51? | ||
| So he's a little younger than me. | ||
| He's got this giant, he bought this big ass piece of land. | ||
| He's got, you know, fucking hundreds of acres up there. | ||
| It's just a huge chunk of land. | ||
| And he's got a fucking church on his property. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| He's got a billiards hall. | ||
| You go to his house, it's like it says billiards and it's like this giant barn. | ||
| And he has multiple tables. | ||
| No, he had one table, but it's just play. | ||
| He's got play. | ||
| Everything's play. | ||
| He's got rangers that you drive around in those ATV vehicles. | ||
| Does he live there full-time, or that's his party house or something? | ||
| I think he does whatever the fuck he wants, man. | ||
| I mean, I think he lives there sometimes. | ||
| He lives other places sometimes. | ||
| Kid Rock is preposterously wealthy. | ||
| He's just preposterous. | ||
| He's been doing these arena shows his whole life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Kid Rock was famous when I first came to California. | ||
| When did Kid Rock burst onto the scene? | ||
| Around 99, 2000, something like that. | ||
| So I first came to California in 94. So you've got to think, 99. So Kid Rock has been balling out of control since, let's say 2000. Let's just say 22 years of doing arenas. | ||
| Each arena, he's getting a piece of the bar. | ||
| Because Kid Rock is smart. | ||
| He has this deal where he gets a piece of the bar. | ||
| Metallica, he knows how to do it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, it's also like... | ||
| You're going to sell out. | ||
| Like, you're going to have a Kid Rock show? | ||
| It's going to sell out. | ||
| It's going to be a bunch of fucking drunk, crazy rednecks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Kid Rock! | ||
| And they're going to come see him. | ||
| Imagine how much they drink, too, and he's getting all that. | ||
| Preposterous amounts of money. | ||
| So he's been doing that for 22 years. | ||
| And the only time he probably stopped touring was during the pandemic. | ||
| So all these years, he's been selling out these massive venues. | ||
| I never really knew much about Kid Rock, but I like him now. | ||
| You gotta stack millions upon millions of all those album sales back when you could actually sell albums. | ||
| He had those. | ||
| So he was selling platinum albums back when you could sell. | ||
| So he made a shit ton of money then. | ||
| And then touring money. | ||
| Merch, all that shit. | ||
| He was in Joe Dirt. | ||
| He was in Joe Dirt. | ||
| He's got some great songs too, man. | ||
| He's got a great song with Sheryl Crow, like a ballad. | ||
| He's got talent, man. | ||
| He's an interesting character. | ||
| He's a fun guy to hang out with too, man. | ||
| Maybe he can set the fight up now. | ||
| Tommy Lee, Kid Rock. | ||
| I think they probably buried it. | ||
|
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They buried their problems. | |
| But Elon Musk wants to fight Putin. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I offered my services. | ||
| Oh, that'd be sick. | ||
| Who just went in that fight? | ||
| I said, dude, I will arrange all of your training. | ||
| I go, if you really do fight Putin, I said, I'll arrange all your training. | ||
| This world's crazy enough for that to happen. | ||
| He's like, how epic would that be? | ||
| You're going to be so fucking epic. | ||
| I would bring Feras Ahabi in. | ||
| I would bring Feras Ahabi in from Montreal to train Elon Musk. | ||
| Goddamn, that would be amazing. | ||
| And what do you think? | ||
| Are they fighting full martial arts or are they doing boxing or... | ||
| I would say martial arts. | ||
| You'd have to do martial arts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd have to, like, an MMA fight. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's 2022. You know? | ||
| Fuck the boxing. | ||
| That's where the money's still at in the boxing, though, isn't it? | ||
| Well, Elon Musk is a strange character. | ||
| Because, first of all, he's a very big man. | ||
| Like, he's not small. | ||
| And Putin is smaller than me. | ||
| Elon is quite a bit bigger than me. | ||
| Elon is probably 6'2"? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's big! | ||
| Yeah, seems like a big guy. | ||
| He's a big guy. | ||
| And he apparently, according to him, he had some match with a world champion sumo wrestler back in the day for fun, and he fucked his neck up, like throwing this guy outside of the ring. | ||
| But he actually defeated some world champion sumo wrestler. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Now, if anybody else who is a billionaire told me that, I'd be like, fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, Richard Branson. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| But he's not a liar. | ||
| And he's also, he's so fucking smart, he might be able to figure out how to do it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Imagine that, he just finds the mathematics of figuring out how to fix someone. | ||
| It's Elon Musk with a fucking sumo wrestler. | ||
| That shit was real. | ||
| So he really did have a match that's real. | ||
| Is there a video of this? | ||
| It's a smaller sumo wrestler. | ||
| Bro, some of the world champions are, well, smaller. | ||
| The guy looks like about 300 pounds. | ||
| But some of the best guys have been smaller guys because they're stronger and faster. | ||
| There's different schools of thought with sumo wrestling. | ||
| One school of thought is like, get the biggest Heaviest, strongest guy with the most amount of mass. | ||
| And then the other one is like, get a faster guy who has better technique. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Who, you know, maybe knows some other martial arts outside of judo, like sumo, or rather outside of sumo, like judo or something like that. | ||
| Have you ever been to a sumo wrestling match? | ||
| I have not. | ||
| I would be interested though. | ||
| They're treated like kings. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like that's what you strive for, to be a sumo wrestler. | ||
| They had a sumo wrestler fight Hoist Gracie in Pride. | ||
| Aki Bono. | ||
| Aki Bono fought Hoist Gracie and Hoist Gracie armbarred him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah man, it was wild. | ||
| Wild fight. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| That'd be more interesting than watching Elon. | ||
| Aki Bono fought Hoist Gracie. | ||
| Hoist was probably outweighed by 200 pounds. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| And they wind up going to the ground. | ||
| Hoist gets him in an armbar and taps him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty awesome. | ||
| That was when Hoist had left the UFC, and then he had fought quite a few times in Pride. | ||
| It's a few matches. | ||
| Hoist is such a bad motherfucker. | ||
| What year was this, does it say? | ||
| So look at the size difference, man. | ||
| Look at the fucking size difference. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| So Aki Bono fucked up here. | ||
| He got on top of Hoist, and this was the big mistake. | ||
| Like, he just thought that somehow or another, because of his mass, he'd be able to control Hoist. | ||
| But Hoist is sneaking out the back door, because he's got an underhook on the left side. | ||
| So he sneaks out the back door, and they get standing up again. | ||
| And then Hoist throws a low kick and immediately goes to his back on purpose. | ||
| Because he recognizes that Aki Bono's just kind of lay on top of him. | ||
| You also got to recognize that when someone is that big, their cardio is bullshit. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| So Hoist gets what you would call omoplata control on the left arm. | ||
| So he's going to use his right leg on the left arm. | ||
| Now he locks up the omoplata. | ||
| So now he's in a shoulder lock position. | ||
| He rolls it over and gets a straight arm bar right from here. | ||
| This is fucking amazing. | ||
| So this is actually... | ||
| Yep, he's tapping right there. | ||
| So that was like a combination of a shoulder lock and an arm bar at the same time. | ||
| Fucking amazing. | ||
| Hoist Gracie! | ||
| So that is, he's in the middle of, I guess it is more of an omoplata than it is an armbar, but he had both options for him. | ||
| So the way that position is, that's the shoulder lock omoplata position, and he also had the armbar, straight armbar position. | ||
| Took down a guy 200 pounds bigger than him. | ||
| Well, it's just smarter. | ||
| Just a great strategy. | ||
| You know, like, throw a kick and fall to your back, and the guy just instinctively, he didn't really know how to fight. | ||
| He was just a sumo guy who'd push people around. | ||
| He went on top of him and thought I'd punch him, and then Hoist ties him up, you know. | ||
| What was that for? | ||
| Like just some exhibition fight? | ||
| No, that was a fucking fight in Pride. | ||
| Pride was an enormous organization that was the rival to the UFC. And they did a lot of freak show fights. | ||
| They did a lot of fights where they would have someone outweighed by hundreds of pounds. | ||
| And that was one of them. | ||
| They did a lot of those fights. | ||
| They did a lot of crazy fights. | ||
| Japan during the day had some of the best fights. | ||
| They had arguably the best heavyweight of all time, Fedor Emelianenko. | ||
| He was their heavyweight champion. | ||
| And they had Minotauro Noguera, who was arguably the best heavyweight jiu-jitsu fighter of all time, who was their champion at one point in time, too. | ||
| And at one point in time, Noguera fought Bob Sapp. | ||
| Bob Sapp was 370 pounds with abs. | ||
| He was one of the biggest guys I've ever seen in my fucking life. | ||
| Sorry, I'm trying to clear my throat with the cough button. | ||
| And Bob Sapp pile-drived him and fucked up Noguera's neck essentially for the rest of his life. | ||
| He had neck problems for a long time after that because Bob Sapp picked him up and Noguera's like 240. Bob Sapp picks him up and pile-drives him. | ||
| He drops all of his weight. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| I'll play this. | ||
| Because Bob Sapp was so big, he looked like the final character in a video game. | ||
| He didn't look like a real person. | ||
| Mike Tyson's punch out. | ||
| Dude, he did. | ||
| Go to the beginning of it, though. | ||
| Go to the beginning of it, though. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The beginning of it, it's like you see the two of them facing off against each other. | ||
|
unidentified
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Hold on. | |
| That's it. | ||
| So this is Bob Sapp. | ||
| Look at the size of him, bro. | ||
| Look at the size of him. | ||
| He was so big. | ||
| And Noguera at the time was the best heavyweight jiu-jitsu fighter we had ever seen. | ||
| He was the heavyweight champion in Pride and widely regarded to be the best heavyweight on earth at the time. | ||
| And Noguera shoots in on Bob Sapp and right away Bob Sapp picks him up and pile drives him on his head. | ||
| I mean this is crazy. | ||
| Is that straight away in the first five seconds? | ||
| Well, he doesn't want to stand up with the guy. | ||
| The guy's so much bigger than him. | ||
| He wants to take him to the ground. | ||
| Look at this, though. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I mean, literally drops him on his fucking head. | ||
| The head is the first thing that impacts it. | ||
| His neck compresses, and his neck was fucked for a long time after that. | ||
| But that's how tough Nogueira was. | ||
| And still is. | ||
| Nogueira was, like, one of the toughest of all time. | ||
| But anyway, Nogueira... | ||
| I think it made it into the second round. | ||
| Noguera snuck out the backside, got on top of him, and eventually gets him in an arm bar and submits him. | ||
| And it was crazy, but by all accounts, Noguera's neck was fucked forever after this. | ||
| And it only makes sense if you look at that impact. | ||
| I mean, that had to herniate some discs. | ||
| But it's just Bob was so big, there's no way someone could be that heavy and they could keep their cardio going. | ||
| It was just almost impossible. | ||
| But Noguera is so good at jujitsu and was one of the first heavyweights that had a real, legitimate, lethal guard. | ||
| Because a lot of the bigger heavyweight guys, they're more used to being on top. | ||
| Because a big guy like Noguera, you know, in a jiu-jitsu class when he's learning, is more likely to be the guy that winds up on top because he's heavier. | ||
| Look at Bob Sapp, tries to stomp him. | ||
| Because in Pride, you could stomp people. | ||
| You could do soccer kicks to their head when they're down. | ||
| They had different rules. | ||
| So he gets them in an arm bar, almost gets them in a triangle here. | ||
| But then they go to the ground, and then when they go to the ground, this is the, like, I think this is the final exchange. | ||
| When he gets him in the ground, he eventually gets him in an arm bar, and he taps. | ||
| And I was watching it with my friends from jiu-jitsu, and when Nogueira got him in that arm bar, we jumped off the couch. | ||
|
unidentified
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We're like, yes! | |
| Yes! | ||
| Because jujitsu was supposed to be the martial art where the smaller, more skillful man could beat a larger, more powerful foe. | ||
| And that was always like what you would think martial arts should be, like in the Bruce Lee movies. | ||
| But in reality, big guys most of the time fuck up small guys. | ||
| Until jujitsu came along and when Hoyce Gracie showed in the early days of the UFC was that jujitsu was so technical and there was so much advantage in knowing jujitsu. | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| So he hits this switch here and then he gets him on his back. | ||
| And then when he gets him on his back, Bob's hat was exhausted. | ||
| He couldn't believe that Noguera was still fighting after all this time. | ||
| And then he locks up this arm, and then he throws a right leg over, and he gets the arm bar right here. | ||
| And we were watching, and it's like, oh my god, he's got it! | ||
| Oh my god, he's got it! | ||
| And then when he separates the hands, Noguera separates the hands here, and Bob taps. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| And we were like, yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Nogueira was a hero to the jiu-jitsu world. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| Oh my god, I want to say... | ||
| 2003. Two? | ||
| 2002. 2002. Shit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I don't even know if I was working for the UFC back then. | ||
| There probably wasn't a lot of jiu-jitsu around, and now it's in every second. | ||
|
unidentified
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There was. | |
| There was still a lot, because after Hoist Gracie had won the UFC in 1993, jiu-jitsu schools erupted. | ||
| In Southern California, there was a shit ton of them. | ||
| Because when I started jiu-jitsu in 1996, there was Carlson Gracie, there was the Machados, there was Hicks and Gracie, there was Hoist Gracie, and Horian Gracie had a school in Torrance. | ||
| There was a lot of jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| It had already blossomed because it was so effective and because of Hoyce's victory in the early UFCs, it had opened people's eyes to this martial art that was so much more effective in these situations of... | ||
| Like, individual stylists versus individual stylists. | ||
| Like, now everybody knows jujitsu and everybody knows kickboxing, everybody knows Muay Thai, everybody knows everything. | ||
| Like, to be an elite martial artist, you essentially have to know a little bit of everything. | ||
| But back then, these guys were specialists in the early days of the year, like, 93. And the specialists, like these judo guys, thought, I'm going to go beat the jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
| And the boxer thought, I'm going to go beat the wrestler. | ||
| And we got a chance to understand what was the best. | ||
| And early on, before people learned jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu was king. | ||
| And it was king because of that guy, because of Hoist Gracie. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Noguera was a direct descendant of Hoist Gracie in terms of the effectiveness of jiu-jitsu being applied against bigger, stronger foes. | ||
| Do you think most of the UFC fighters these days come from jiu-jitsu backgrounds? | ||
| No, a lot of them come from wrestling. | ||
| Some of the greats come from wrestling. | ||
| Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier. | ||
| Some of the greats come from kickboxing, like Stylebender. | ||
| They come from all kinds of different places. | ||
| They come from all kinds of different styles. | ||
| And there's no... | ||
| It's more about the athlete, what they're capable of doing, their experience, their technique, their strategy, the kind of cardio they have, their ability to implement their game plan. | ||
| It's more that now than it is just one individual style. | ||
| Because everybody knows everything. | ||
| The elites of the guys that you see today, when you see someone that's truly exceptional, they're generally good at many things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's such a strange thing that you have to work your ass off and get your face punched in for 10 years before you can even have a chance at going to the UFC and getting on the big stage and making money out of it and stuff. | ||
| There's so many people that just do that sport for... | ||
| Yeah, there's that. | ||
| There's that. | ||
| An ability that's above and beyond everyone in their peer group. | ||
| And there's a guy now, Hamzat Chemayev. | ||
| Hamzat Chemayev has had four fights in the UFC. He's been hit twice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Dude, he's undefeated. | ||
| He has more victories in the UFC than he's been hit. | ||
| And I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| He's so fucking good, it's terrifying. | ||
| He's so good, it's terrifying. | ||
| He is the future. | ||
| If he can maintain this standard of performance as he faces stiffer and stiffer competition, and we'll find out very soon, because he's fighting Gilbert Burns, who's a world champion jiu-jitsu guy, top of the food chain MMA fighter. | ||
| A guy who's been in there against Kamaru Usman, a guy who's beaten guys like Damian Maia, a guy who's beaten Tyron Woodley. | ||
| He's beaten like elite, elite fighters. | ||
| He's a big, big step up in competition for Hamzat. | ||
| But if Chemayev can beat him, if he can beat Gilbert, he's the real deal. | ||
| And we're going to find out. | ||
| Because the competition that he's faced so far... | ||
| He's not been anywhere near the level of Gilbert Burns. | ||
| Gilbert Burns is absolutely elite. | ||
| He's a fantastic striker. | ||
| He is as good on the ground as anybody. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is so top-level. | ||
| His wrestling is excellent. | ||
| His cardio is excellent. | ||
| He's a fierce competitor. | ||
| And he's a world-class fighter. | ||
| He's a proven world-class competitor. | ||
| So that's a big fight. | ||
| And that's coming up next. | ||
| I think that's in Florida. | ||
| It's a big fight. | ||
| Jacksonville. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big fight. | ||
| I think I'm coming out for that. | ||
| You got to be for that? | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Let's hang out. | ||
| Yeah, let's hang out. | ||
| Let's party. | ||
| I would be hated by everyone who loves UFC because I've got to sit next to you and watch the sport and I've got no fucking idea what's going on. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love watching it. | ||
| And it's such a great spectator sport and I love seeing the passion that everyone has for it. | ||
| But I don't know shit. | ||
| You'll love it. | ||
| That's all that counts. | ||
| I like watching it. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| If you sat there and hated it, then people would hate you. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| You could be a fan and not be, you know, technically proficient. | ||
| No, it's a great spectator sport. | ||
| I've been to so many UFC events. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| There's nothing like it when you're seeing it live. | ||
| Live, it's so crazy. | ||
| It's such an amazing sport, live. | ||
| I got to see McGregor come up and stuff because it was just so interesting to see that. | ||
| And everyone was talking about it. | ||
| We were in Vegas for a fight and the press conference got a thousand Irish hooligans and everyone was like, what's going on? | ||
| And they were all chanting and stuff. | ||
| Because I'm from Australia and we party the same way, I knew that they were all just partying and stuff. | ||
| But people were scared in the Vegas casinos because they'd come through and they're like, oh, what's happening? | ||
| Well, they took over the casinos. | ||
| I remember Mandalay Bay, there was a scene where the entire Mandalay Bay Casino, there's this hallway when you're headed to the Shark Reef. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know that area? | ||
| I was there. | ||
| It was filled with Irish people singing. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| Singing. | ||
| And everyone was terrified. | ||
| I'm going, they're fine. | ||
| They're singing. | ||
| They're having fun. | ||
| They're drinking. | ||
| They're not interested in fighting and stuff. | ||
| Could you imagine if you were a UFC fighter and you got caught up in that and they all wanted to take the picture with you? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You would never get home. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're never getting home. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like Randy Couture trying to make his way through. | ||
| Randy, you're a fucking legend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come drinking with us for three days and they just capture you and take you in a van somewhere. | |
| Proper 12. Drink it. | ||
| That was before Prop 12. Yeah, look at these fucking people. | ||
| Yeah, I was there. | ||
| I was watching that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're all singing a Conor McGregor song. | |
| He's got a shoe in his hand. | ||
| Why is that man holding a shoe? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's MGM. That was... | |
| That was, I think, was 94 when he beat Jose Aldo? | ||
| That's MGM. Yeah, it's in MGM, but what was the victory? | ||
| What fight was that? | ||
| I wonder what fight that was. | ||
| Aldo? | ||
| Oh, that was the fight, because that was when he won the title. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was when he knocked out Aldo with one punch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| He said he was going to knock him out with one punch. | ||
| He literally said. | ||
| He did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said how he was going to do it. | |
| He'll be too aggressive. | ||
| He'll be too aggressive. | ||
| The left hand will catch him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| And he got him. | ||
| And he did it. | ||
| Fucking perfect. | ||
| It was Mystic Mac. | ||
| That was the early days when he was calling, he was saying the round that he was going to beat people. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And it was awesome to watch. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| You know, he's talking about fighting Kamaru Usman. | ||
| Like, whoo. | ||
| Be careful what you ask for. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Be careful what you ask for. | ||
| Usman is a big man, and he is top of the food chain right now. | ||
| That's the best pound-for-pound fighter alive is Kamaru Usman, and he's a natural 170. You've got to remember, Conor McGregor won the title at 145. Fucking hell, that's small. | ||
| And then he went up to 155, and he knocked out Eddie Alvarez. | ||
| He became the champ champ, so he's concurrent, holding two titles concurrently. | ||
| And then he fought at 170, but he fought Cowboy Cerrone, who's a natural 155-pounder. | ||
| And, you know, no knock on Cowboy, and Cowboy's beat a lot of good 170-pounders. | ||
| He's an elite fighter. | ||
| But Usman's a different thing. | ||
| That's a different peak. | ||
| There's no oxygen at the top of that mountain. | ||
| You know, that's as good as it gets ever at 170. I would put Kamaru Usman up against any 170-pound fighter that's ever lived. | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying that he would beat George St. Pierre. | ||
| I'm not saying he would beat all of them, but he might beat all of them. | ||
| He might be the best it's ever been at 170. He's as good as they get. | ||
| He's got ferocious knockout power. | ||
| He's elite at wrestling. | ||
| Nobody puts him on his back. | ||
| Colby Covington got a very quick takedown. | ||
| Daniel Cormier called it a takedown. | ||
| He's a world-class wrestler. | ||
| He says it's a takedown. | ||
| I say it's a takedown. | ||
| The only guy that's ever... | ||
| But it was very quick. | ||
| And Usman right back up to his feet. | ||
| What about Khabib? | ||
| The wrestling... | ||
| Well, that's a different weight class. | ||
| Oh, it is. | ||
| Khabib's 155. Me playing an idiot again. | ||
| No, you're not an idiot. | ||
| You're just out of question. | ||
| But Kamaru is as good as anybody has ever been at 170. And he also has one-punch knockout power. | ||
| You know, he knocked out Jorge Masvidal with one punch. | ||
| And Jorge was thought to be the striker in that fight. | ||
| Kamaru was thought to be, you know, the all-well-rounded fighter, who's a great striker and a great wrestler. | ||
| But you would think that if the advantage existed for Masvidal, it would be as a striker. | ||
| And then Usman shut the lights out with one shot. | ||
| Just the cleanest right hand I think anybody's ever thrown in the history of the sport. | ||
| Pulled that up. | ||
| That must be a good feeling. | ||
| Pulled that up because it was so clean that Masvidal was unconscious as he was going down and his face bounces off Camaro's shoulder. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh shit. | |
| Like as he's going out. | ||
| Watch this because it's so clean. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look, his head snaps back. | ||
| Watch his head. | ||
|
unidentified
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He just goes out. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Listen to us scream, screaming like little girls. | ||
| Me and DC were screaming. | ||
| It was crazy because you would you would think that Kamara would have an advantage in the fight overall because he's the best and they fought before and he had dominated him in a decision but Masvidal had his moments in the striking but Kamara is so good and so dedicated and his mind is so fucking strong that he got so much better in the striking that he knocked him outstanding in the next fight and And he's still getting better. | ||
| He's still getting better. | ||
| The strong mind is the key? | ||
| It's everything. | ||
| The mind is that... | ||
| Well, you have to have the body. | ||
| Because if you have a strong mind, a bullshit body... | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| There's nothing you do. | ||
| But Kamaru has both. | ||
| I mean, look at his body. | ||
| I mean, look at... | ||
| Give me a photo of Kamaru's body. | ||
| I don't want to ride the jock. | ||
| But too late. | ||
| He's about as shredded as any man. | ||
| Let's get out pictures of blokes. | ||
| I want to see some shredded goods. | ||
| He's got as good a body as you could ever have. | ||
| I mean, he's fucking shredded at 170 pounds. | ||
| I mean, look at him. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Look at that picture where he's pounding on his chest. | ||
| That one over there when he's pounding. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Come the fuck on, son. | ||
| Terry Crews. | ||
|
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He's fucking jacked. | |
| And he's about perfect for 170 in terms of his dimensions. | ||
| He's just tall enough, just strong enough. | ||
| There's like a thing where all the pieces have to be in place, especially in the UFC because there's so many weight classes. | ||
| But the space in between the weight classes is so big. | ||
| The gap between 155 and 170 is 15 pounds. | ||
| That's a lot, man. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| I'm 15 pounds overweight right now. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| But, I mean, you're talking about 15 pounds of lean muscle and bone. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| You know, imagine 15, like, beautiful cowboy cut ribeyes. | ||
| That's the advantage that Usman has. | ||
| Power. | ||
| And it's not like he's slow. | ||
| He's got great speed. | ||
| To be a great fighter, all the pieces have to be in place. | ||
| You have to have amazing genetics. | ||
| You have to have a superior work ethic. | ||
| You have to have crazy discipline. | ||
| And you have to have a mind. | ||
| The strength of the mind is so important, the ability to overcome, the ability to figure out what to do in times of peril. | ||
| When things go sideways, how do you adjust? | ||
| What decisions do you make? | ||
| Whether you have any give up in you. | ||
| Some people have a little give up in them. | ||
| You just have to find what's that threshold. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People have made Conor give up. | ||
| They've made him tap. | ||
| You know, he's tapped. | ||
| Nobody's made Usman tap except one time. | ||
| One time, the second fight of his career, he got caught in a rear naked choke and he got tapped out. | ||
| But, you know, he was new. | ||
| He was beginning. | ||
| And, you know, it was like tap or nap. | ||
| Like, take a choice. | ||
| He got caught. | ||
| He got caught in a rear naked choke and it was perfect. | ||
| And, you know, anybody's ever been caught in a rear naked choke when it's perfect, you know, like, you're not getting out. | ||
| And he wasn't good enough at Jiu Jitsu at that time to get out. | ||
| But since then, he smashed everybody. | ||
| He was the guy that when he was running through opponents on his way to the title, everybody was calling everybody out. | ||
| I don't want to fight this guy. | ||
| I don't want to fight that guy. | ||
| They never said his name. | ||
| Nobody said Camaro's name. | ||
| Nobody's like, give me Usman. | ||
| People would go, what the fuck are you saying? | ||
| And was he sitting there going, how come no one's called me out? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I would talk to him when I would interview him after fights. | ||
| He was calling everybody out. | ||
| He was the nightmare. | ||
| That's his nickname. | ||
| He's the Nigerian nightmare. | ||
| That was what he really is. | ||
| He was the nightmare. | ||
| Because everybody was like, let me get to the title before he comes there. | ||
| Let me get a taste before he comes in too hard. | ||
| Just give me a piece. | ||
| There's guys that are so good. | ||
| They're so good that you really don't know who's going to be able to beat them. | ||
| And with Kamaru, the guy in his division is Hamzat Chemayev. | ||
| So that's Hamzat Chemayev. | ||
| Hamzat has four fights, destroyed everyone. | ||
| He's undefeated in his career. | ||
| I mean smashed people. | ||
| See if you can find a highlight of Hamzat. | ||
| Smashes people. | ||
| And he's from Chechnya. | ||
| He's a wild motherfucker with his crazy beard. | ||
| And after the fights, he's like, I'll kill everybody! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to kill everybody! | |
| He's fucking terrifying, man. | ||
| And the people that train with him said, bro, you've only seen a fraction of what this guy's capable of. | ||
| His work ethic is unstoppable. | ||
| Give me a rewind before that. | ||
| This is Gerald Merchardt. | ||
| He smoked him with one punch. | ||
| First punch of the fight. | ||
| Smokes him. | ||
| I'm telling you, man, this motherfucker is wild. | ||
| And he's like, I kill everybody! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I kill everybody! | |
| But everybody he's fought. | ||
| His last fight, he fought Lee Jingleong. | ||
| He grabs him, picks him up, and brings him over to Dana White. | ||
| So this guy, he just beat the shit out of him and stopped him. | ||
| But I want to see, and this is one of the guys that's only, this is one of the few times he's been hit. | ||
| And like these, they count these as punches. | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| He's getting controlled, and this guy, from his back, reaches up and kind of punches him a little bit in the face, and they counted that. | ||
| But scoot ahead to Lee Jingliang, because that's one of the scariest ones. | ||
| Because he reaches in, he picks him up, and he carries him over to Dana White. | ||
| They don't have that on? | ||
| Oh, this is probably an earlier highlight before. | ||
| Yeah, this is, because Dan Hardy's there. | ||
| He picks him up in the beginning of the fight, drags him over to Dana while he's talking to him. | ||
| He's like, I smashed them all! | ||
| I'm going to smash them all! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see this, Dana? | |
| And he slams him on the ground. | ||
| See if you find Hamzat versus Li Jingliang. | ||
| No, just go Lee Jingleon. | ||
| Jingleon. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| See right there? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You just play the beginning of it because it starts with a slam. | ||
| The fight is so fast. | ||
| He reaches in at the beginning of the fight and just... | ||
| Oh, it's not the actual fight. | ||
| Yeah, because the UFC pulls these. | ||
| So he shoots in on him, grabs ahold of him right away, hoists him up in the air, and walks over to Dana White while he's carrying this... | ||
| So this is it right here. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That's so disrespectful. | ||
| He picks him up, he carries him in the air, and look, he walks over to Dana White. | ||
| He's like, look, Dana! | ||
|
unidentified
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He throws him down. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| He's not even paying attention to the fighter! | ||
| He's not even paying attention to him! | ||
| He's having a chat with Dino. | ||
| Now, this guy is... | ||
| You know, he's several fights away from fighting Usman. | ||
| Because if you look at it realistically, right now I think Leon Edwards is next for Kamaru Usman. | ||
| I think Dana White has said that. | ||
| I think that's right. | ||
| That's the best fight. | ||
| Leon is a spectacular fighter, super technical, super high level. | ||
| That's going to be a great fight. | ||
| They fought once before. | ||
| Kamaru won a decision, but it wasn't like he didn't destroy him. | ||
| And Leon has gotten substantially better. | ||
| So is Kamaru. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| That would be next. | ||
| But if... | ||
| Kamzak can keep going. | ||
| If he can get past Gilbert Burns, and that's a big if, because Gilbert's a big step up, but if he can maintain the level of performance we've seen from him up until now in the octagon, that's a big fight. | ||
| But there's a lot of ifs there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, the sport is... | ||
| Look, he got really sick with COVID and kept training and almost retired. | ||
| Because he's so tough that he tried to keep training when he was recovering from COVID and got, like, his lungs were bleeding. | ||
| There's a picture of him where he posted on Instagram that he was going to retire. | ||
| And he showed a photo of his toilet bowl. | ||
| And the toilet bowl was filled with blood, like splattered blood from him coughing blood into the toilet bowl. | ||
| No, from COVID. COVID. He got COVID. He was one of those guys that's just like too tough and kept training. | ||
| Didn't recover. | ||
| Like, he got COVID and was like, fuck it, I train! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He went COVID! I fucking train! | |
| So he kept training while he had COVID. And he was coughing blood up. | ||
| And it took him a long time. | ||
| He was in the hospital on multiple occasions. | ||
| More than one time he was in the hospital for COVID. Because he would get better, they let him out of the hospital, and he would train again. | ||
| And then you get back in the hospital, they're like, what the fuck are you doing back here again? | ||
| He wouldn't just recover. | ||
| So he's just an animal, just a complete animal. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| But super technical, too. | ||
| Like an elite wrestler, fantastic striker, work ethic second to none. | ||
| So it's going to take someone like that. | ||
| And again, he's got to keep going. | ||
| He's got to beat guys like Gilbert Burns. | ||
| He's got to beat world-class fighters for him to legitimately have a shot at the title. | ||
| But if he can keep going, what a story that is. | ||
| And that would be an epic fight. | ||
| And again, there's a lot of ifs. | ||
| Does he have the time? | ||
| Is he getting old? | ||
| No, he's young. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| How old is Hamzat? | ||
| I think he's in his 20s. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think Kamaru is 34, I believe. | ||
| I believe Kamaru is 34. Kamaru is trying to fight Canelo Alvarez. | ||
| He wants to get that big money fight with Canelo Alvarez, have a boxing match. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Everyone wants a big money fight. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I support him in that. | ||
| I want Kamaru to make 100 million bucks like Conor did with Floyd. | ||
| So he's 27. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Amazing. | |
| He's a fucking animal, man. | ||
| And he fights at 185 and fights at 170. He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He's a terror. | ||
| He's a real terror. | ||
| Who do you think would be a good matchup for you to fight? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Nobody? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nobody. | |
| No one. | ||
| What if there was a celebrity fight like Van Damme back in the day? | ||
| Bro, I fucking... | ||
| I worked out today. | ||
| I hit the pads and my knees hurt. | ||
| I'm done, dude. | ||
| Oh, bullshit. | ||
| I'm 54. I'm not fighting anybody. | ||
| You can fight someone. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| We'll get you and Kid Rock. | ||
| Oh, settle down. | ||
| If I got Kid Rock down, I wouldn't hurt him. | ||
| I would just choke him. | ||
| I like him too much. | ||
| I like his golden elevator. | ||
| I don't want to... | ||
| Alright, we've got to wrap this up. | ||
| We're three hours plus in, my friend. | ||
| Glad we did this, my friend. | ||
| Thanks so much for having me. | ||
| Great times, Monty. | ||
| Let's do it again. | ||
| Yes, please. | ||
| Monty Franklin on Instagram, Twitter. | ||
| I don't do Twitter. | ||
| Never even been on there. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| I know, fuck that place. | ||
| Fuck that place. | ||
| Instagram, Monty Franklin, sure. | ||
| Instagram, website. | ||
| Montyfranklin.com. | ||
| I got some shows coming up. | ||
| Tours, where are you at? | ||
| Denver Comedy Works, my favorite place in the country. | ||
| Wendy's been nothing but awesome to me. | ||
| She's the shit. | ||
| Shout out to Wendy. | ||
| Yeah, she's the best. | ||
| I got Bray Improv coming up and there's shows on there. | ||
| Nice, beautiful. | ||
| Come and see me. | ||
| Yell some shit at me, it'd be great. | ||
| Yeah, Denver's fucking such a great place. | ||
| She's been the best to me. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| That downtown club. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| Comedy Works. | ||
| Comedy Works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
South. | |
| South. | ||
| That's the big place with the balcony, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a great room. | ||
| But they're both great. | ||
| The downtown room's great, too. | ||
| I've been working for Wendy forever, since the 90s. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| I love her to death. | ||
| She's the best. | ||
| And she treats the comedians so well. | ||
| She's the best. | ||
| I even do, when I do the big theaters, I do it with her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm doing the Belco. | ||
| When am I doing that? | ||
| Why did you choose to do that and not the arena or something there? | ||
| Oh, fuck it. | ||
| April 30th. | ||
| Because I don't remember. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| You probably like that theater. | ||
| But it's four shows at 5,000 people, so that's just as fun as doing an arena. | ||
| Is that what that is? | ||
| 5,000? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Theater shows are fun. | ||
| It's a great theater, too. | ||
| So we're doing... | ||
| That's Duncan Trussell, me, Tony Hinchcliffe, and Hans Kim. | ||
| Hans Kim's going to open that bitch up. | ||
| Unreal. | ||
| We're going to have fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| My friend! | ||
| Thank you, Mike. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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