Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
Train by day. | ||
Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
All day. | ||
What are the odds that you and I are wearing the same shirt? | ||
It's so weird. | ||
And it's a shirt I drew and I'm putting up on my website to sell. | ||
Yeah, I just don't have the midriff show on. | ||
Did you trim that yourself? | ||
I did trim it myself. | ||
I cut all my shirts. | ||
All of them? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I had a girl come up to me who's very skinny who goes, you've really given me like a lot of inspiration, like how you'll just wear a midriff no matter what. | ||
And I was like, oh my God. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
But yeah, I like to, I'm loud and proud muffin topping around this town, baby. | ||
Wow, you don't give a fuck. | ||
No. | ||
Good for you. | ||
I like cropping it. | ||
I think they land weird. | ||
I have hips, you know, so they land weird on my hips. | ||
They get tight on my hips, so I just crop that bitch. | ||
Hoist my sweatpants up high. | ||
Which is what you wear most of the time, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
When I came to Austin last time, by the way, nobody warned me. | ||
About? | ||
About the fucking swamp ass situation here. | ||
I was wearing sweatpants. | ||
All I have is sweatpants. | ||
Listen, I gained a little weight over COVID. Loud and proud. | ||
I don't give a shit. | ||
But I refuse to buy new clothes. | ||
So I'm a size 4 until the seams pop. | ||
I don't know what that is. | ||
Is that a lot? | ||
A size 4 is like... | ||
What's Jamie? | ||
Jamie, if he was a girl, would be a size like 8. He might be a girl. | ||
Why don't you not be rude? | ||
Look at his hair. | ||
With that hair? | ||
33. I know, Jamie, what's going on with the hair? | ||
I'm trying to get him to shave his head. | ||
unidentified
|
He won't do it. | |
I need to find somewhere to cut it is all. | ||
Well, it's impossible to find somewhere. | ||
Somewhere to cut it is above the ears. | ||
There's no way. | ||
No one cuts hair anymore. | ||
That's like going to a blacksmith. | ||
I know. | ||
You have a low pwn, which is so upsetting. | ||
I thought I hated man buns. | ||
Different sizes. | ||
It's just where I put it. | ||
Do you ever do man bun? | ||
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
Not up top, no. | ||
Sometimes he does it like a samurai. | ||
He should. | ||
Give him one of your swords. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah, Jamie, this is an intervention. | ||
Alright, what's up? | ||
Why don't you get your hair cut? | ||
I don't understand. | ||
I, like, meant to do it this weekend. | ||
I did other stuff instead. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I would have been so happy. | ||
I would have been so honored. | ||
Do you ever wear it down? | ||
Can you take your hair down for us? | ||
Yeah, sure. | ||
It's confusing. | ||
It's long. | ||
I think he's transitioning. | ||
Okay, I think he's definitely transitioning. | ||
I want to do Transwatch. | ||
Very long. | ||
You like Abraham Lincoln. | ||
You think so? | ||
I think he looks like a rock band from the 90s. | ||
Yes, you do. | ||
Well, that's the third time I've had long hair, and that was the first time why I had long hair. | ||
When you were in a band. | ||
In the 90s. | ||
Was this like a COVID reaction? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
I just couldn't find a barbershop. | ||
Couldn't go anywhere. | ||
There's so many barbershops. | ||
It's so dumb. | ||
Just let it go. | ||
There's like scissors. | ||
Now there are, but there wasn't then. | ||
I got scissors. | ||
I was able to cut this shirt, okay, while I was traveling. | ||
You can cut that hair. | ||
Is that easier to cut a shirt than hair? | ||
It was actually kind of hard. | ||
I would say it's easier than hair, though, don't you think? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't think that's a good comparison. | ||
I want to go back to the skinny girl. | ||
The skinny girl who's like... | ||
You have such confidence to wear that. | ||
Girls do shit like that to each other, right? | ||
Listen, I'm all about... | ||
I've been dealing with... | ||
I realize I've been really judging a lot of people and wasting my time judging others. | ||
So I'm just taking everything people say and I'm just enjoying it. | ||
And I laughed my fucking ass off when she said that to me. | ||
Really? | ||
Yes. | ||
Do you know her well? | ||
Not that well, but... | ||
But enough that I send her love and light. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Like, love and light, cunt. | ||
Love and light, cunt. | ||
That should be your next shirt. | ||
I'm happy. | ||
Listen, I gained weight because I wasn't given a fucking shit over this damn pandemic. | ||
Well, I think it's because you ate a lot of food. | ||
I did eat a lot of food. | ||
You know, I was eating a lot of noodles. | ||
Oh, that'll do it. | ||
My boyfriend is half Asian. | ||
I got into a lot of the cuisine. | ||
unidentified
|
Ah. | |
What kind of food? | ||
A lot of pho. | ||
I mean, he actually didn't. | ||
unidentified
|
It was just me. | |
I like how you said it right. | ||
Pho, of course. | ||
Most people are all pho. | ||
I know. | ||
But pho does sound upsetting. | ||
It took me many years to say it. | ||
It's weird. | ||
I don't say it. | ||
unidentified
|
I never say it. | |
You say pho? | ||
I mean, I just don't say it. | ||
You just say, can I have those noodles? | ||
I wait for my family to want to order it. | ||
And then I go, yeah, we'll eat that. | ||
My kids love it. | ||
unidentified
|
They love pho. | |
I always thought like it's rice. | ||
It's not like regular noodles. | ||
So you kind of convince yourself. | ||
But then, you know, it's about this much. | ||
Big ass bowl. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Stuff. | ||
There's a great place in Woodland Hills we used to go to. | ||
Oh my God, it was sensational. | ||
unidentified
|
What was it called? | |
I don't remember. | ||
It was really good. | ||
Oh, you guys almost got such a good advertisement. | ||
Sorry. | ||
Sorry. | ||
You should have had a better name. | ||
I go to a place called Absolutely Phobulous. | ||
And if those people had had a good name like that, that's on La Siena Guy. | ||
I love them. | ||
That is one thing. | ||
LA had a real good scene in terms of variety of food. | ||
Actually, for a small city, because Austin's pretty small, there's a lot of variety here. | ||
There's obviously a lot of Tex-Mex, obviously a lot of barbecue. | ||
You're like, they have so much variety here. | ||
They have texts. | ||
They have Macs. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
No, but you can get Korean food here. | ||
There's a lot of sushi. | ||
There's a lot of Japanese. | ||
There's Indian food. | ||
There's a lot of different... | ||
Because it's a college city, there's all kinds of different folks come here and stay here. | ||
Yeah, I've only eaten, I went to, what was the barbecue place I went to? | ||
Did you go to Terry Black's? | ||
Yes, I went to Terry Black's. | ||
That was the first place I went to. | ||
You don't need to go anywhere else. | ||
It was so good. | ||
Everywhere else, there's places that are as good, like Franklin's and La Barbecue, and there's some killer places, but they don't get better. | ||
It's not possible. | ||
Yeah, it was great. | ||
It's not possible. | ||
It was so good. | ||
It was fast. | ||
It was easy. | ||
Yeah, you go through the, but we fucked it up by talking about it too much. | ||
So now it's all packed. | ||
There's a giant ass fucking line. | ||
Well, when I went there, it seemed like a really big line. | ||
The parking lot was full and it still went fast. | ||
So I was like, alright. | ||
Well, it's a cafeteria style. | ||
And they're on the ball. | ||
Do you do cafeteria when you go? | ||
Yeah, you go. | ||
Are people like hovering around you? | ||
Sometimes when it's too crazy, they'll just bring us over what we want. | ||
But yeah, I like going in line. | ||
I like doing the thing. | ||
I didn't get to do a pit tour. | ||
I like doing the pit tour. | ||
Oh, the pit tour is the shit. | ||
They make their pits themselves. | ||
They use propane tanks. | ||
They have someone weld them and shit. | ||
Would you ever bring them elk you killed to barbecue up? | ||
Yeah, I definitely would. | ||
But when they barbecue stuff, it's like a 12-hour process. | ||
They took us on a tour of the brisket making and the guy was explaining to me how he does it. | ||
He has a piece of paper and he writes down which ones went in at which time. | ||
They don't use thermometers. | ||
They just know. | ||
They just know what the temperature of the meat is. | ||
They know when it's ready and they know when to wrap it in butcher paper. | ||
It's an art. | ||
It really is. | ||
Slow smoking art, offset cooking. | ||
So good. | ||
Yeah, it's a real art form. | ||
The fat dripping off. | ||
Really good. | ||
All the different sauces. | ||
I went there. | ||
I went to another place that had like tapas. | ||
I had some bone marrow, which I've decided I hate. | ||
I never have been able to decide whether I'm disgusted by bone marrow or I like it. | ||
I hate it. | ||
Bone marrow on garlic bread at a restaurant in town called Red Ash is fucking sensational. | ||
Don't you laugh. | ||
I'm not laughing. | ||
I'm just saying it's one of those things. | ||
It feels like I'm on Fear Factor, honestly. | ||
Every time I eat it, I'm like, it's mental, it's mental, it's mental. | ||
I'm smearing that shit. | ||
I'm scraping it off the bone, which you're not going to eat it when it's not on the bone. | ||
It has to come out on the bone. | ||
Right. | ||
So you can't pretend it's not coming from where it's coming from. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, that's true. | ||
And you want to get it clean right when it comes out of the oven, too. | ||
Yeah, when it's still like... | ||
And I take a couple bites and I go, I think I like this. | ||
And then I'm kind of gagging. | ||
I don't think it's everybody's thing. | ||
Yeah, I've tried. | ||
I'll try again. | ||
I love it. | ||
I like to try things. | ||
Like if anyone brings me any weird thing, I like to try it. | ||
I used to, before I knew you, I used to pretend I was on fear. | ||
I'd be like, I'd take a thing and be like, alright, take a bite. | ||
Here we go. | ||
I watched an episode recently. | ||
Did you? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I watched like a couples episode. | ||
It was like couples championships. | ||
They came back. | ||
And you had married a couple. | ||
You were ordained and married this couple. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They were from Dallas. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Nice folks. | ||
I wonder if they're still together. | ||
They were really nice. | ||
I mean, I hope they're still together, but with these marriage rates, I can't. | ||
Well, what is it? | ||
It's not even 50%, I don't think, right? | ||
That make it? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Are people even getting married anymore? | ||
No, they quit. | ||
Everybody quit. | ||
unidentified
|
They did? | |
Yeah, people get married. | ||
I think that it's going to be around forever. | ||
I don't think they're going to stop getting married. | ||
You know, when people have children and you want to protect and keep everything together and lock it down, that's when it makes sense. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It seems like a crazy institution now, you know, like Getting other people involved in your relationship? | ||
Well, the wedding is so weird because the wedding is like... | ||
You're calling all of your closest family and friends to hold you accountable for this promise you made. | ||
Everyone's there like, you promised. | ||
You promised. | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
I thought it was like to celebrate. | ||
Listen, now you look at it. | ||
You look at it in a terrible way. | ||
I guess I feel really embarrassed sharing... | ||
Like my deepest heart in front of everyone. | ||
I don't know. | ||
That seems like very vulnerable. | ||
Well, if I'm like up there and I'm like, you complete me or whatever I'm saying that I mean. | ||
But I don't know. | ||
I guess it's I feel different. | ||
I feel like I'm growing. | ||
We did a non-religious wedding, and the lady was very nice, but she had the corniest fucking vows. | ||
You know the thing that they do? | ||
Your love is two streams that will become a mighty river. | ||
I'm like, oh my God. | ||
As a comedian, to sit there and listen to that and not mock it, it's like, oh God. | ||
You should have mocked it. | ||
I would have mocked it. | ||
I was holding it together. | ||
I was making faces, though. | ||
Did you cry at your wedding? | ||
No, I did not. | ||
You didn't? | ||
No, I did not. | ||
I cried when my kids were born. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I cry. | ||
But that wasn't a, like... | ||
I mean, I love her. | ||
She's awesome. | ||
I've definitely seen you cry. | ||
unidentified
|
You're a good boy. | |
I cry. | ||
I know you're a good boy. | ||
I cry. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm a very emotional person in a lot of ways. | ||
But that was like a fun... | ||
It was like, I wanted to just get it over with. | ||
Let's just do it and then we can have fun. | ||
Because it seems stressful. | ||
Did you guys have like a really big one? | ||
No. | ||
Was your wife into wanting it to be... | ||
No, she's not very high maintenance. | ||
She's pretty cool in that regard. | ||
You know, it's a small group of friends. | ||
And you had your stepdaughter? | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
And then you don't have your daughters yet? | ||
No, one of them. | ||
You did? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's one of those things where it's like, in the middle of you doing it, you're like, okay, is this happening? | ||
We're really doing it? | ||
Because it's like, hopefully you only do it once. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So while you're doing it, you're like, okay, is this real? | ||
Can you imagine planning a second fucking wedding? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Some people do it even for no reason. | ||
Just to say, we're going to go to Tahiti and have a second wedding. | ||
And you're like, oh, fuck. | ||
And then your friends have to go. | ||
No, I mean like your next marriage. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
Where you're just like... | ||
I have a lot of friends that have gotten married three, four times. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And they do the same amount of effort into each wedding. | ||
It's got to dilute each time. | ||
What happens is when you find a new gal and she finds out what you did for the old gal, she's like, listen, motherfucker... | ||
You may have lost 50%, but you're going to be doing 50 extra percent. | ||
We ain't doing this one in the park when your last one was in the fucking Bahamas. | ||
Can I tell you? | ||
Let's go. | ||
How cool is it that there's shooting stars in your fucking sky? | ||
unidentified
|
That's pretty dope, right? | |
How cool is it that it's 180 degrees in this room? | ||
I'm sweating so much. | ||
I'm so glad I chose black shirts. | ||
Yeah, something happened to our AC over the last couple days. | ||
You think a guy with a ponytail would really want to keep it cool in here? | ||
I know. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
It's not his. | ||
That's the guy who made it. | ||
He has a ponytail too. | ||
He has a ponytail too. | ||
That's true. | ||
Well, it's not even his fault. | ||
It's obviously one of our units is fucking up. | ||
But that's a common thing here. | ||
We were at the creek in the cave the other night, and it was fucking sweating, like dripping into my eyes on stage. | ||
And it's hard. | ||
I've said this before. | ||
When you're on stage and you start to sweat, that's a symptom of bombing, and it's hard to... | ||
My body goes into, like, save-yourself mode when I start sweating, and it's like... | ||
Well, you're not comfortable. | ||
Yeah, and I'm like... | ||
You have to be comfortable on stage. | ||
unidentified
|
You're... | |
Like, my eye can't see... | ||
Well, with you, too, you got eye makeup, so that shit's gonna get in your eyes. | ||
I actually don't wear makeup. | ||
This is what I wake up with. | ||
Crazy. | ||
I'm so pretty. | ||
You are so pretty for natural. | ||
I remember one time I came straight from Fear Factor, and I had sunscreen on, and I didn't realize I had sunscreen on, and I'm on stage, and I sweat, and the sweat got in my eye, and then I was in pain, so I was trying to do my act while my eyes were tearing up. | ||
That's terrible. | ||
That's why I can't surf. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, saltwater. | |
I've tried surfing and I'm like, it's so embarrassing when I'm doing something everyone else is doing fine and everyone seems like not. | ||
And I'm like, my eyes are burning. | ||
I'm like, is there something wrong with me? | ||
How come some people could just open their eyes in saltwater and swim around? | ||
It doesn't bother them at all. | ||
Can you do it, Jamie? | ||
I haven't tried for a long time, so I don't know. | ||
You have surfer hair. | ||
You should get out there before you cut it. | ||
You seem like a surfer. | ||
We need to make an excuse for this hair. | ||
Well, you know, in Texas, there's a place down in Waco where it's an indoor surf place. | ||
I know about Waco. | ||
Yeah, that's a different thing. | ||
They don't like to talk about that anymore. | ||
Now it's like a home improvement spot. | ||
Do you know that? | ||
Like there's a family. | ||
They're really good at putting up holes. | ||
No, there's like a famous family that like settled in Waco. | ||
They're on like one of them fix-em-up TV shows. | ||
Oh, the couple. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The fix-upper couple. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, that's Waco now. | ||
That's new Waco. | ||
That's like everybody's in that. | ||
But in Waco, there's a... | ||
Waco's not very Waco if they're pretending that thing didn't happen. | ||
Oh, I don't think... | ||
You know you're going to have more of these jokes. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
I don't think that they're pretending it didn't happen. | ||
I just think they don't talk about it that much. | ||
I guess you don't need to. | ||
Well, I mean, everybody knows, you know, the FBI lit those fucking people on fire, whatever, whatever. | ||
I know, it's like their home improvement is like, oh, got a bulletproof wall. | ||
Apparently someone was explaining to me that it wasn't just that the FBI lit that place on fire, but that Koresh knew. | ||
So they put bales of hay in the hallways and lit them and filled them up with gasoline. | ||
Like he, it was kind of like a suicide thing. | ||
And he was also, he'd already been shot. | ||
So he had like a bullet hole in him and... | ||
Some wild shit, you know? | ||
Cults like that, it's like, how the fuck, right? | ||
How does it get to that? | ||
Like, how does someone, like, all of a sudden you find yourself in a fenced-off, you know, 10-acre, I don't know how many acres the place was, but where you have guns and you're fucking everybody's wife and everybody has to give you their money. | ||
I know, once a guy's like, I'm gonna fuck your wife, that's when you gotta go, I think I need to exit. | ||
Don't think you're working in the name of Jesus. | ||
Yeah, Jesus does not want you to bang my wife. | ||
Unless that's what you're into. | ||
But that area has an indoor surf place. | ||
My friend Kenny Fong. | ||
Shout out to Kenny from Darkside Motors. | ||
He's a guy I used to go get all my car stuff from in LA. And Kenny fucking flew to... | ||
He lives in California. | ||
Flew to Texas to surf at this place. | ||
Which is kind of hilarious. | ||
But do I have saltwater? | ||
It's an indoor place. | ||
It's a wild ass indoor surf place. | ||
It's huge. | ||
I think I've seen Schultz doing it. | ||
This one's outdoor, I think. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
Is this Waco? | ||
Oh, it is outdoor? | ||
Waco's on the up, guys. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Why did I think it was indoor? | ||
Is this where the Taresh place was? | ||
Yeah, they leveled it, and the bodies of the people are underneath the water. | ||
That's really incredible. | ||
Sometimes when you go under, you see a skull. | ||
It's fucking badass, though. | ||
I mean, what a great place to learn how to surf, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Because you don't have to wait for waves. | ||
It's like, if you had, the only way to learn jujitsu was wait for someone to grab you, it would suck, right? | ||
You have no one to roll with. | ||
This is like you have training. | ||
I have not done jujitsu since before the pandemic. | ||
I am now so grossed out. | ||
I was thinking about all the ball sweat. | ||
I was thinking about the smell of the... | ||
unidentified
|
Ball sweat. | |
Yes, the smell of... | ||
And listen, I'm no... | ||
I'm not Mr. Clean over here. | ||
I got my own smells going on. | ||
You smell great. | ||
When I hugged you, I was impressed. | ||
When I would go into class, when I would go into 10th Plain, I would go to whoever my partner was. | ||
I did yoga before this, so I'm sorry or thank you. | ||
I'm sorry or welcome, whichever you're into. | ||
I'm not sure what you like. | ||
Now, you would go yoga and then straight into jiu-jitsu? | ||
Well, I would try to wash off a little bit. | ||
But that's crazy. | ||
That's a lot of exercise. | ||
Oh, I was ripped before. | ||
I was doing... | ||
Bro. | ||
I was not like... | ||
Well, I wasn't ripped. | ||
You're shredded. | ||
I was pretty good before the pandemic. | ||
And then... | ||
That's a lot of exercise in one day, though, is what I'm saying. | ||
Yeah, I would do that. | ||
And then I had a meditation class I would go to. | ||
Damn, look at you. | ||
Centering. | ||
And I was still fucking psycho, dude. | ||
I was way more psycho then than I am now. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What do you think that's about? | ||
I think I did a lot of work on myself over this quarantine. | ||
Well, people are forced to, like, think about themselves or think about other people. | ||
There was a lot of that. | ||
Oh, I went through both, and I really... | ||
I'm telling you, this week specifically, I've been working on it, I'm just really focusing on, like, myself and what I like. | ||
I was talking to Jamie earlier. | ||
I'm writing a movie with Bonnie McFarlane. | ||
Oh, I love Bonnie. | ||
I love her so much. | ||
I just worked with her a couple weeks ago. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
I was here. | ||
I was working with her, too. | ||
Oh, that's right. | ||
And we're at The Creek in the Cave. | ||
I'm telling you, I watched Bonnie's full set. | ||
I fucking went up to her afterwards crying. | ||
Like, I'm so glad I'm friends with her. | ||
She's so funny. | ||
She's just the real deal. | ||
There's no bullshit. | ||
She said some of the funniest shit I have ever fucking heard in my life. | ||
Her crowd work, I mean, she's like unmatched. | ||
And I'm just so... | ||
27 years, I think? | ||
Something crazy like that? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It might have been more. | ||
It might be more than 27 years, which is wild. | ||
Yeah. | ||
She's such a fucking killer. | ||
If you go back and look at her specials, too, like her HBO special, it was right when I started comedy. | ||
I think she did it. | ||
It's still, from beginning to end, amazing. | ||
She's just a really smart person, period. | ||
Her and Rich, are they still doing their podcasts? | ||
Yeah, they are. | ||
They're fucking great at that, too. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
She posted a clip where Rich was talking about his lisp, and he was like, people make fun of my lisp, but if I was missing arms, they wouldn't make fun of it. | ||
And Bonnie's like, Rich, your lisp has never gotten in the way of your life. | ||
And I commented, I was like, it has gotten in the way of my life. | ||
LAUGHTER They're just so funny. | ||
They're just calling each other out. | ||
Bonnie and I were talking about it today. | ||
Rich is such a good dude. | ||
He just has a person that challenges him on every angle. | ||
That's why they're so fucking funny, dude. | ||
They just have two people that are just bop, bop, bop, bop. | ||
Well, he can take it better than anybody I've ever met in my life. | ||
When we used to be an anti, not anymore. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
After the thing. | ||
It all ended. | ||
But when we used to do Opie and Anthony together, he could fucking take it better than anybody. | ||
When everybody was piling on, Rich was the best. | ||
Yeah, he's so funny. | ||
He can fight his way out. | ||
It's like that scene, and did you watch Game of Thrones? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you remember the fight scene where they were all piling on him, on Jon Snow, and he got out? | ||
That's how I imagine Rich, when people are making fun of him. | ||
Well, he just... | ||
It doesn't seem to bother him. | ||
Like, he'll fire back, but it doesn't seem to hurt his feelings. | ||
He doesn't care if he, like, if one fires and it doesn't go? | ||
No, he takes wings. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he... | ||
I used to sit next to him. | ||
We would do Judge Rose Battle at the stand in New York, and I always sat next to him. | ||
I was like, I love sitting next to Dum Dum. | ||
He would ask questions about, like, what the rules of the show were. | ||
I'm like... | ||
Rich, we've done this 5,000 times together. | ||
You don't know the rules of the fucking show? | ||
He's just such a ding-dong. | ||
I think half of it is for show, though. | ||
I think half of it is like... | ||
No, I was talking to Bonnie about it. | ||
Something happens on stage. | ||
He can pull facts that he doesn't know offstage. | ||
He becomes a thing. | ||
He's brilliant on stage, and then he's just like... | ||
Well, he has to be because he can work the crowd so well. | ||
He's so good at working the crowd. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's a wizard at work in the crowd. | ||
You know what else? | ||
This is how fearless that guy is. | ||
They used to do this thing on Open Anthony where he would grab a microphone and walk into a fucking laundromat and just start doing stand-up. | ||
It was cringe. | ||
People would be waiting in line at a deli. | ||
He would go, you know, the other day I saw. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
And he would just start doing stand-up. | ||
And people would be like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
And bombing and didn't care. | ||
And they would air it. | ||
They would air it on the radio. | ||
Of course. | ||
We used to do this thing in the old days of Opie and Anthony. | ||
They were on terrestrial radio and satellite radio. | ||
I forget which one was first. | ||
I think terrestrial was first and satellite was second. | ||
But we would do one radio show and then we would walk down the street to the second place. | ||
And while we were walking, they were broadcasting. | ||
So we were Broadcasting with wireless microphones walking down the street to the next place. | ||
That's so funny I always want to do a podcast where I'm like on the street where I just do like a It's just an hour of me walking around talking shit to the camera and then like fucking with people on the street You should do it on 6th Street. | ||
I should well I'm gonna wait for things to cool down. | ||
unidentified
|
They have cooled down More security. | |
How many different mass shootings are you going to have on one street? | ||
I mean, that's a good point, but I think we might have just put it in the universe. | ||
The odds are... | ||
I keep missing all of these crazy events. | ||
I was in Nashville right the day before that bombing and before the truck drove into Zany's. | ||
Oh, I'm sensing a pattern. | ||
I don't want to say it's me, guys, but... | ||
I have a lot of power. | ||
The zany's truck. | ||
What happened there? | ||
The guy just left the truck and forgot to put the brake on or something? | ||
I never found out the story, but I was supposed to do a show the night before, and I canceled because I was tired, and that was a lesson. | ||
Never cancel a show. | ||
Do a show. | ||
The fucking work film. | ||
Well, you never should cancel a show because you're tired. | ||
Yeah, you're right. | ||
Because once you get there, you'll fire up. | ||
Yeah, you're right. | ||
I've never had the hiccups on stage. | ||
I do believe I will shit myself on stage. | ||
I never shit myself on stage, but I've come close. | ||
I've come very close. | ||
You have those sets where you're just crap dusting the audience. | ||
And you're just like, I hope this mic is loud enough for them to not hear this shit. | ||
Oh my god, I forgot. | ||
I've been talking about this on stage, but I've never told you this. | ||
I had an opener once. | ||
I wish I knew her name. | ||
I was doing Dead Crow in North Carolina. | ||
unidentified
|
What's that? | |
It's a club. | ||
It's like a small club. | ||
It's cute. | ||
I'd love to go back. | ||
But next time, warn me about my opener. | ||
If my opener is an actual opener, let me know. | ||
So there was a girl who was Canadian. | ||
And she was really funny. | ||
She did her set. | ||
unidentified
|
Bonnie McFarlane? | |
No. | ||
Bonnie's Canadian. | ||
Yes, Bonnie is Canadian and she's amazing and she's my dream friend. | ||
I love her. | ||
So the girl finishes her set. | ||
She pulls the mic stand down to her crotch. | ||
That's never a good sign. | ||
Did she queef? | ||
Not only did she queef, she pulled her skirt up, fully vagina out, no underwear. | ||
No underwear? | ||
It was a nice vagina. | ||
She showed the audience her vagina? | ||
Yes, and she pulled a kazoo out of her jacket. | ||
She put the kazoo into her vagina and she queefed Adele's hello. | ||
Really? | ||
She was my opener. | ||
I had to go on stage. | ||
And the whole audience saw it? | ||
And it was like, I'm not knocking. | ||
It was literally the most amazing thing I've ever seen. | ||
If you're closing a show, I then had to go on stage and be like, smells like tuna fish. | ||
I was like, I have to either shove this microphone up my asshole or I just have to eat a dick for fucking 45 minutes to an hour after this. | ||
Every show was just like, um... | ||
If you're in the audience and she's showing her pussy, that's assault. | ||
It is assault, you're right. | ||
It should be illegal. | ||
Honestly, it was well... | ||
It wasn't well-groomed, but it was... | ||
It was just very interesting. | ||
Did I ever tell you about the story where Joey Diaz hid in the backstage? | ||
There was a woman on stage that was not very funny. | ||
And Joey hid backstage and took his pants off. | ||
And whenever she would hit her punchline, he would open up the curtain and shake his balls. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
And then close the curtain and she was murdering. | ||
She's... | ||
This is like in the 90s. | ||
Oh, that's actually sweet. | ||
He gave her an experience she would never have. | ||
He gave the audience an experience they would never have. | ||
It was so ridiculous. | ||
Was he just doing like the chicken heart? | ||
Or was this dick, he was holding his dick up and just putting his balls on? | ||
No, he just fucking, I don't remember if he was naked or if he had his pants off. | ||
And he would just like... | ||
Oh, I thought he was just exposing just the heart. | ||
No, no, the curtain in the OR. He was pantsless behind it. | ||
I didn't even know you could go behind that. | ||
You can go behind it, apparently. | ||
I think I've tried and almost fallen backwards. | ||
There's not a lot of room. | ||
I don't even know how you get there. | ||
And especially when you take up a lot of room, Joey, no offense. | ||
Yeah, LOL. I don't know. | ||
LBS. How did you get there? | ||
How does one get there? | ||
I guess he must have just had to hide there through a couple acts. | ||
That's so funny if he had to stay there. | ||
I don't think he hid. | ||
I think he snuck in while she was on stage. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
It was like, in the 90s, the shows there were so... | ||
It might not have been the 90s. | ||
It might have been like maybe 2000. I don't remember. | ||
Anyway, the shows there were so bad that sometimes someone would get on the lineup and they would be on the lineup like quite a bit. | ||
And it was death. | ||
It was like, this was the death moment. | ||
And you knew that if you had to follow them, fuck, like you have an 1130 spot, they go on before you. | ||
You know that room's going to clear out. | ||
Yeah, I've been that spot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The spot after. | ||
The spot after. | ||
I've been maybe the dead spot a couple times down. | ||
But those fucking shows, when that does happen, those give you an opportunity to really dig in and find out what's actually funny. | ||
Yeah, and it's also... | ||
To have to pick the whole room up is wild. | ||
But I would go on after... | ||
Someone who would just always clear the room. | ||
I mean, and it would be like a packed, like it would be a night you were on, so it would be like a fucking sold out main room. | ||
And I'm watching everyone get up and leave, so I would always go, all right, you guys can leave if you want, but if you did, I'm going to tell everyone you raped me, so it's up to you. | ||
A white woman, I can do whatever I want. | ||
But it was just like, I always had to do like a save line, you know, because it was like so awkward that everyone was leaving. | ||
But what I learned, this is something I taught myself over the pandemic too, that my time on stage is my time on stage. | ||
I don't have to bring up what anyone's done before. | ||
I just need to reset and just do my thing. | ||
And I can call back if I want, yeah. | ||
It just takes a little time. | ||
It takes a little time to shift them over to your style. | ||
That was something that I learned really from watching people in Boston. | ||
I learned from watching Dom Herrera in particular. | ||
Because Dom Herrera was the only guy that I ever saw that went up at Nick's Comedy Stop and did well after the local headliners. | ||
Because they used to do this really sneaky thing where they would take the local headliners, guys like Steve Sweeney and Don Gavin and Kevin Knox, and they would murder. | ||
I mean, just murder, murder, murder. | ||
Three guys in a row doing like 20 minutes of death. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And then they put up a national headliner. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And a lot of guys just died up there. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And guys quit midweek and like big names. | ||
Like guys in movies and shit. | ||
And Dom Herrera went up there and just owned the room. | ||
Just cool, calm and collected. | ||
Just went on stage and had a big smile on his face. | ||
And it's like, what a nice round of applause for all these guys. | ||
Like no nerves. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And just slid into his material and then eventually took over and was murdering. | ||
Yeah, because if you're thinking about this episode before, you're not being in the moment. | ||
And I feel like I learned a lot. | ||
I used to go after Rick Ingram a lot, and Rick just slaughters with crowd work. | ||
And I used to be scared of that spot, and now I'm like, fucking bring it. | ||
I don't care. | ||
I'm not scared of any spots. | ||
This pandemic was, no offense to the people that had a bad one, very good for me. | ||
Was it? | ||
Yeah, I really- Well, you worked. | ||
You worked at it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's good for- Anytime there's a change, obviously it's not good for people that lost their businesses- Right, of course. | ||
I was watching this thing today. | ||
I was reading this thing today. | ||
37% of all small businesses in America are gone for good. | ||
That's fucking crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And it's like- How the fuck do they ever come back if they do? | ||
Imagine if you worked for 30 years of your life for something and you built it up and you're getting by and you're doing well and you're making a good living and then all of a sudden it's gone. | ||
Yeah, but you know what? | ||
Life is unpredictable and we got to just... | ||
Yeah, but this is because of regulations. | ||
This isn't really unpredictable. | ||
This is just foolishness because Walgreens was open. | ||
Target was open. | ||
All these different places were open and they told small businesses they couldn't be open. | ||
It's not really weird. | ||
It's idiotic. | ||
And there's a lot of people that think that... | ||
I don't want to get into it. | ||
It's people that think that it's like an effort, that it was on purpose, and that they recognize that this is an opportunity to get rid of these small businesses and build up these bigger businesses. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's what the most cynical and conspiracy-minded amongst us think. | ||
They think that they recognize this as an attack on small businesses and an opportunity for big corporations to thrive, because that's what happened to them. | ||
A lot of big corporations thrived. | ||
Speaking of corporations, I didn't take Adderall or anything today because I'm so excited to be here. | ||
Do you take Adderall all the time? | ||
No, every once in a while I do. | ||
So you take meth? | ||
I call it homework coke. | ||
I'm like, who needs a paper towel? | ||
But, you know, it's good to help you get up and stuff. | ||
But it is, yeah, I'm sure. | ||
I can't stand behind Adderall as not a... | ||
It's an amphetamine. | ||
But I, as someone that knows that I'm projecting an Adderall vibe right now... | ||
You're not. | ||
I am just so excited to be here. | ||
The first time I did your show, I was so fucking nervous. | ||
Do you remember that? | ||
I was like... | ||
You were a little nervous, but you loosened up. | ||
I had so much fun. | ||
I had such a good time. | ||
Whitney was like a dream. | ||
That was so fun. | ||
The Whitney episode was like, that was three hours of my life that I cherish. | ||
So fun. | ||
And then this one, I'm just like, I just couldn't wait to come. | ||
Look, I'm wearing your shirt. | ||
I know. | ||
AnnieLatterman.com. | ||
This black rifle that has 300 milligrams of caffeine, don't fuck with this. | ||
I'm so scared. | ||
Rich mocha? | ||
It's really delicious. | ||
Do I get rich if I drink it? | ||
No, it's got a rich flavor. | ||
You've taught me so much, my king. | ||
LAUGHTER The days not too long ago when you were slapping hundreds into my hand. | ||
Well, you were broke. | ||
I know. | ||
No, I really appreciate it. | ||
But do you remember when I was going to... | ||
I liked when you told me if I got people away from you that were annoying you, you would give me a hundred bucks. | ||
And then I was slamming people and you were like, that's my friend. | ||
And I was like, oh shit. | ||
I like misread it. | ||
unidentified
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I was body slamming people into shit. | |
Yeah, the old parking lot days. | ||
I know, it's fun. | ||
Listen, it's getting, it's in an interesting place right now because it's not like full capacity, the Comedy Store, but it's really fun. | ||
Are you going to come back and visit us soon? | ||
Yes, for sure. | ||
Yeah, when I'm in L.A., I'll definitely come back. | ||
You got to come back because it's, we miss you. | ||
I'm on a plan, I'm on a plan like a weekend, do a weekend there. | ||
Just take a trip and see the homeless shelters and shit. | ||
Well, listen, you lied to me about the homeless people here. | ||
They cleared out Town Hall today. | ||
Well, today I didn't drive. | ||
Yesterday they weren't cleared out. | ||
I saw a woman, bottomless, okay? | ||
Congratulations. | ||
Here. | ||
And by the way, our homeless people, can I just say? | ||
No. | ||
Our homeless people in L.A. at least are cute because they were trying to be actors at one point. | ||
unidentified
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No, they're not. | |
They were trying to be actors. | ||
How are you fat and homeless? | ||
How are you obese and homeless? | ||
Because there's a lot of food out here. | ||
The Tex-Mex is really fatty. | ||
But there's a lot of services out here, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon whether or not you want to... | ||
We've just got to figure out... | ||
Listen, I don't want to look at homeless people like they're the enemy or anything. | ||
Obviously, it's... | ||
They're not the enemy. | ||
It's unfortunate, but it didn't used to be like this. | ||
And you've got to think, is it really like that many more people are homeless, or is it that they don't go to shelters anymore and now they're camping? | ||
Because that's the argument about it in here. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I haven't really done any research. | ||
But the people that I know that are paying attention say a lot of what happened was when they lifted the ban on camping, the outdoor camping thing, all these people that used to stay in these shelters decided to just camp. | ||
And they could do drugs. | ||
They could do drugs. | ||
Nobody fucks with them. | ||
And then they go back to the shelters if they want food. | ||
I mean, my neighborhood, I just moved out. | ||
I used to live near the Grove and I had to move out of there because it was so fucking dangerous because it's like meth addicts. | ||
It's not just like people that are hard on their luck. | ||
Like it's drug addicts who are like violent. | ||
My I had the citizens app was just pops up with all the fucking horrible things happening, which is like what a nightmare. | ||
But I'm glad I saw it because there was one one time I'm out walking my dog. | ||
And a fucking homeless guy went into some guy's backyard, just random dude. | ||
He goes out. | ||
He's like, what are you doing in my backyard? | ||
Stabs him in the fucking neck. | ||
That homeless guy was like on the run for the whole day just with a knife. | ||
He assaulted one other person, but he killed that guy. | ||
That was my street. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's fucked. | ||
Like, I'm just walking my dog? | ||
Well, and cops don't do anything. | ||
If someone jumps into someone's backyard, they don't arrest them. | ||
Like, you have to do, like, $900 worth of theft before they'll even arrest you. | ||
Really? | ||
And if they do arrest you, they just put you right back on the street again. | ||
And has it always been that way, or is this after the defunding? | ||
After the defunding. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The defunding of the police in Austin's been a disaster, too. | ||
And New York. | ||
New York's been a disaster. | ||
It's terrible everywhere. | ||
It's a terrible idea. | ||
Also, the idea that you're going to send social workers to handle someone's domestic violence case is fucking bananas. | ||
And there's a lot of people that don't understand violence that think that's okay. | ||
And they have this utopian idea of like, we don't need the police, man. | ||
We were talking about defunding the police. | ||
We're talking about defunding the police. | ||
That's what we mean. | ||
And then guess what, fuckface? | ||
When there's crazy gang lords roaming the streets controlling everything, like certain parts of New York, and then people get murdered. | ||
You made it sound really cool. | ||
These gang lords, they're wearing their pimp jackets. | ||
But people in gangs are... | ||
Look, this is... | ||
What's happening in Mexico could easily happen here with no police presence. | ||
People have to understand that. | ||
Diarrhea when you drink the water? | ||
I'm not quite familiar with what's going on. | ||
No, cartels. | ||
Violent cartels. | ||
Cartels. | ||
It reminds me of cartoons. | ||
My shirt. | ||
I don't think it's the same. | ||
It's a different word. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
Yeah, no, it was really weird because I was in the area that I lived. | ||
That's where Tony lived, too. | ||
Yeah, they burned cop cars very near my house. | ||
He used to love that area. | ||
It was so beautiful. | ||
It was so nice. | ||
And now it's all full of tents. | ||
It was really rough. | ||
Do you know that they're spending fucking... | ||
Oh, you ready for this, Jamie? | ||
How about this? | ||
I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this is fucking crazy. | ||
But as we're talking shit on Los Angeles, there's still at-home people here. | ||
Well, it's nothing in comparison. | ||
It's a smaller town! | ||
What's this? | ||
It's an Instagram account, yeah. | ||
Street People of Los Angeles. | ||
Street People of Los Angeles is good. | ||
Gutter People of Los Angeles is better. | ||
That's my favorite one. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
You guys, this is sad. | ||
This is the video I was looking at when you're talking about this activist lady is trying to, I guess, help, but there's also a guy with a machete just standing right behind her. | ||
Jamie, when you watched this the first time, what part did you come? | ||
He comes all the time. | ||
He just comes multiple times. | ||
Not as much as Tom Segura, but... | ||
Yeah, not like Tom. | ||
I'm going to send you something, Jamie. | ||
This is... | ||
Remember how Coleon Noir was on and he was talking about how the reason why the homeless situation never gets fixed is because so many people are working on the homeless situation and they spend hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
LA spent, I thought there was no money. | ||
That's not the case. | ||
Hundreds of millions of dollars get spent on the homeless. | ||
And thank you for your contribution to that, rich man. | ||
But you know where it goes to? | ||
It goes to the salaries of people working on the homeless. | ||
So someone posted all the salaries of all these people. | ||
Look, they're all like six figures and more. | ||
Look at it. | ||
$254,000, $263,000, $198,000, $264,000. | ||
They make a shitload of money. | ||
You would think it is a job you would want to pay people a lot because you want great money. | ||
You want results. | ||
This is a puzzle. | ||
This is a puzzle someone needs to solve. | ||
But you want results. | ||
When you get no results, you shouldn't get that much money. | ||
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
And there's too many people. | ||
There should be, like, a committee of five people that are experts. | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
You need a lot of people to deal with the homeless situation in L.A. It's 100,000 homeless people. | ||
You have Boulder, Colorado in L.A. in homeless. | ||
Like, take the entire population of Boulder and make it homeless and then put it in L.A. Boulder's the opposite of that. | ||
Boulder's just these gorgeous, fit... | ||
unidentified
|
Hikers. | |
Hikers. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're hot, but they're wearing those toe shoes and Tevas so you wouldn't bang them, but you're like, I understand. | ||
They're taking a yoga mat to the top of a cliff. | ||
They got a yoga mat. | ||
They're wearing Joe Rogan fanny pack. | ||
This is a story I heard on the LA News that they bought these things for the homeless shelter situation, and they were just hanging out near a Dodger Stadium unused until someone found them with a drone one day. | ||
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
That's not going to fix anything either, man. | ||
I want one of those. | ||
They spent a bunch of money on it. | ||
Right, but here, so then you're going to get homeless people and they're going to live in these things. | ||
They're going to make it so nasty. | ||
However the way they want to. | ||
This guy's talking around. | ||
They're going to live however the way they want to in those things. | ||
Up there, just doing drugs and lighting things on fire. | ||
And it's like nice living in LA. It's like the weather's beautiful. | ||
Pretty nice. | ||
Well, that's why they like to go down to the beach. | ||
It's very, you know, it's very maintained. | ||
The ocean air comes off. | ||
I think what they're doing, I know they have beachfront property. | ||
They do. | ||
They're putting decks on. | ||
I'm like, you guys, this is crazy. | ||
You guys are living a better life than me. | ||
Venice is bananas. | ||
But Venice is, I think they did something where you can't loiter or litter or something. | ||
So now the homeless people are like cleaning. | ||
It's like cleaner. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
What the fuck? | ||
Or they can arrest them. | ||
You can't camp. | ||
How about that? | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you know what's weird? | ||
You know what I noticed the other day? | ||
There's people that are not quite homeless yet. | ||
That's how you know. | ||
It's like these are drug addicts. | ||
It's like people that are not... | ||
You see them leaning into that life where you're like... | ||
If they weren't allowed to camp, they would probably... | ||
It's just the whole thing is dumb. | ||
You can't allow people to just camp on streets in the middle of nowhere. | ||
You just can't. | ||
You just can't. | ||
In the middle of your streets, put tents up. | ||
You just can't allow that. | ||
They passed a ban on it here, and today is supposed to be the day that the second phase goes into effect. | ||
I was going to say, because I can't allow my king to tell me there's no homeless people in his town. | ||
No, there's homeless people. | ||
There's just not a lot. | ||
Yes, there are. | ||
No, there's 2,000. | ||
2,000 to 3,000. | ||
It's a small place. | ||
I see them everywhere. | ||
Well, there's a lot. | ||
I mean, in terms of like visually. | ||
I'm telling you, I saw this obese homeless woman, bottomless, running across. | ||
I mean, the amount of vaginas I see in this goddamn business. | ||
But she was running across wearing a mask. | ||
I was like, I was promised no masks and no homeless people. | ||
And I'm getting a mixture of both. | ||
Well, this is the most progressive, air quotes, city in Texas, so you'd get a lot of people that are still scared of the Rona. | ||
They could double mask up when you go outside. | ||
You know what I will say about the masks, though? | ||
What? | ||
I'm ready for them to be done, but on an airplane, I used to get sick all the time traveling. | ||
I might be one of the people that wears that mask, because I judged the Asians back in the day for wearing the masks on the plane. | ||
I don't know if that's what it is. | ||
I think you are traveling a lot less now and I also think you're probably taking care of yourself a little bit better because you're worried about the Rona. | ||
Like most people now are starting to take vitamins and most people are really aware of vitamin C or vitamin D rather. | ||
They just did a study that showed that vitamin D deficiency is a bigger comorbidity factor than even being obese. | ||
Now the vitamin D you're talking about, is that the same you get from the sun? | ||
It's better if you get it from the sun. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But you can supplement and it's adequate. | ||
Am I noticing a tan on you or am I making that up? | ||
I go outside. | ||
You do? | ||
I go outside. | ||
Now, last night when I was talking to you on the phone and you were yawning, is that because you had been in the sauna? | ||
I was yawning on the phone? | ||
You seemed tired and I kept going. | ||
I did not read the room. | ||
I probably just yawned. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, but I was in the sauna last night. | ||
Because I saw the sauna picture. | ||
Did I talk to you after the sauna? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
I don't remember. | ||
I think so. | ||
I think I got Alisana when I called you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't remember though. | ||
I'm not sure. | ||
It's just that I do it every night. | ||
It's like a thing that I do. | ||
I just fucking... | ||
It's fine until the last 10 minutes. | ||
The last 10 minutes when I write these sappy posts on Instagram, like I am almost dead. | ||
I love when you're emotional roguey. | ||
Well, I'm very introspective, and I feel very vulnerable when I come out of that place, and I feel like that's a good thing to express, because I think a lot of people feel vulnerable, and I think a lot of people also see people that are doing well, and they think they're never vulnerable. | ||
Like, I make myself vulnerable. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, I make myself vulnerable through workouts. | ||
I make myself vulnerable through jujitsu and sauna and all kinds, and, you know, stage, creating comedy and all that shit, too, but everybody's vulnerable. | ||
It's important. | ||
It's important to express and it helps people understand their own thing better. | ||
Yeah. | ||
When you do jiu-jitsu, you train with like, you're not in a class, right? | ||
Sometimes. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I've been doing, out here I've been doing a lot of privates because I'm trying to learn the leg lock game. | ||
I'm trying to, because when I was doing jiu-jitsu regularly, it wasn't, the leg lock revolution really happened about five years ago and I missed it. | ||
So I understand it in a crude sense, but I don't understand it like I know the rest of Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
I'm a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, but I'm not a black belt in leg locks. | ||
We always did a leg lock warm-up every day in every class. | ||
But honestly, I'm like... | ||
Do I want to go back? | ||
Do you want to go back? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I have to think about it. | ||
Did you enjoy it? | ||
I did very much enjoy it. | ||
It's fun because it was like... | ||
There was a lot of girls, right? | ||
There was a lot of girls. | ||
Yeah, there were girls. | ||
I didn't feel like that was an issue, but it just was... | ||
It's dirty. | ||
It is dirty. | ||
You can't get sick. | ||
Nobody washes their rash guards well. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
They're mildewy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They smell? | ||
Yes. | ||
That's the worst. | ||
When you're rolling with someone and they stink, it's rough. | ||
And it's like, I know it's not about that, so I'm trying to like, you know, mind over matter. | ||
It's like, again, I'm on fear factor. | ||
But it's just like, and the ball sweat and all of it, it's just a lot. | ||
And you get someone that's the most sweaty. | ||
I bet you're fucking sweaty as shit when you're- Oh, I sweat like crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm sweaty too, I mean. | ||
But that's because I put in effort and I drink a lot of water. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You're supposed to sweat. | ||
I've been drinking mad fucking water. | ||
Mad water? | ||
What is that? | ||
It's a new type of water. | ||
Sponsored by Mad TV. No, just a lot of water. | ||
It's so good. | ||
Oh, did you pause? | ||
I coughed. | ||
I coughed. | ||
It made it louder on mine. | ||
No, it didn't. | ||
I thought you were going to be like, move it along, bitch. | ||
Nobody wants to hear about your water intake. | ||
That's the cough button. | ||
We're like a regular radio show. | ||
I don't like that you stupid bitch tone. | ||
What's that? | ||
I don't like that you stupid bitch tone. | ||
What do you mean you stupid bitch tone? | ||
I didn't know I had this. | ||
What are you saying? | ||
Your stupid bitch tone? | ||
You're saying I had a tone with you? | ||
No, I'm just explaining it to you. | ||
You're so fucking sensitive for you. | ||
I'm wearing your shirt. | ||
You know I love you. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
No, I know you love me. | ||
I do. | ||
I was telling Jamie I use your Tumblr. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, do you? | |
I drink my JRE Tumblr all the time. | ||
Out of your Yeti Tumblr? | ||
My Yeti. | ||
Nice. | ||
So you're back doing shows. | ||
I'm doing shows. | ||
I'm having the most fun on the road. | ||
I'm on the road. | ||
You can check out my tour dates. | ||
Do you bring anybody with you? | ||
I'm trying to find the right person to bring with me because it's such a vibe. | ||
You need someone that's cool to hang out with that knows boundaries if I don't want to hang out too much. | ||
Because I found the couple gigs that I've done, even though my openers are really nice, I can't handle that. | ||
The questions, the energy is something I'm not interested in doing. | ||
Sometimes it's rough when you're trying to get ready for a show and they want to talk to you about stuff and ask questions and you're writing notes and you're like, hey man. | ||
Yeah, I don't want to be rude. | ||
I don't want to be one of those people that's like, no one's allowed in the green room, but it's like, no one's allowed in the green room. | ||
I can't. | ||
Unless I find the right person. | ||
Well, the worst is when they bring friends. | ||
Like you have an opening act and they bring three friends in the green room and they start taking pictures. | ||
You're like, hey, hey, hey. | ||
What are we doing here? | ||
This is work. | ||
I know. | ||
And it's always up my feet. | ||
I'm like, those can't get out. | ||
Don't you pixelate them all? | ||
I do. | ||
I've been pixelating. | ||
unidentified
|
Quickly. | |
So I'm doing two really incredible shows that I'm really excited about. | ||
My main tour is going to start in the fall, but I have a bunch of shows. | ||
I'm going all over the place, so go to my website. | ||
You're trying to do small places? | ||
I'm doing clubs, and then I'm doing Caroline's, which was where I first started. | ||
That was your first show? | ||
It wasn't my first spot, but it was my first weekend. | ||
I worked with Jim Norton. | ||
It was my first weekend working. | ||
Oh, that's nice. | ||
It was so fun. | ||
And I did their March Madness contest where I waited in line like it was last comic standing. | ||
And I did one minute in front of Lewis. | ||
And I got passed on to the next round. | ||
And I got really far. | ||
And that was very early in my career. | ||
And then they kept my... | ||
My stuff and then Norton likes to have a female opener so it balances his act. | ||
And so he picked me and I opened for him and then I went on the road with him for about a year or two. | ||
That's awesome. | ||
And learned so much. | ||
But I'm going back to headline for the first time in August. | ||
I'm so excited. | ||
That's your first time ever headlining in Caroline's? | ||
Caroline's, yes. | ||
So it's like this weird full circle. | ||
I'm just having such a good time coming back. | ||
I'm going to all these different places. | ||
My... | ||
I'm also doing a show for the Eagles. | ||
Not the band. | ||
Philadelphia? | ||
Where I'm from. | ||
So I'm going back to Philadelphia at the Lincoln Financial Field. | ||
I'm doing the stadium that they play in. | ||
It's through the Eagles. | ||
It's for this charity called Laughter Heals. | ||
How many people are going to be there? | ||
I don't know. | ||
That's like 50,000 people or some shit, right? | ||
It's going to be so fun, but it's like a lot of Philly acts. | ||
It's going to be Big J. Are you going to say cunt in front of 50,000 people? | ||
Of course I'll say cunt. | ||
That's weird. | ||
Eleanor Kerrigan's going to be there, so she'll say cunt. | ||
Maybe if I'm bringing her up, I'll be like, this cunt. | ||
Steve Simone's going to be on it. | ||
It's really... | ||
Craig Shoemaker's putting it together, but it's going to be so fun. | ||
Wow. | ||
And so it's just an all-comedy show? | ||
It's an all-comedy show. | ||
In a stadium? | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
Jesus. | ||
And it's a charity through the Eagles for bringing back the excitement of being back on the road and everything coming back. | ||
How long did you take off? | ||
I took off a lot of time, Joe. | ||
A lot. | ||
How many months was it before you went on stage again? | ||
I did some shows in Whitney's backyard, which kind of got me back into it. | ||
I don't think those count. | ||
You don't think those count? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Okay. | ||
I felt like they did, because it really did feel... | ||
It was people I didn't know in the audience. | ||
No, they definitely count. | ||
Oh. | ||
It was so fun. | ||
I love my queen. | ||
She's awesome. | ||
I love her. | ||
She's a wild lady. | ||
That lady never stops working. | ||
She's always grinding. | ||
It's really unbelievable. | ||
Yeah, there's no end. | ||
My boyfriend does clips for her, does like edit stuff for her. | ||
And so I see, I mean, this is a 24-7 job. | ||
This lady is, her brain is working. | ||
It's always, it's always like, it's always fucking 50 different directions, 100 miles an hour. | ||
And I can always count on her if I need advice, if I need help with something. | ||
She will always find time. | ||
Well, she's crazy, but she's wise. | ||
I love her. | ||
She's very wise. | ||
I love her. | ||
I mean, I love the hustle. | ||
I respect work ethic more than almost anything in this life. | ||
When someone's just always out there grinding, not making any excuses, just always hustling. | ||
That's her. | ||
She's never like, this business doesn't care about me. | ||
I don't get the breaks I deserve. | ||
Bob, they want me to prove myself. | ||
There's none of that with her. | ||
With her, it's go, go, go. | ||
And once you get rid of that shit, which is the stuff that I've really worked on getting rid of over the pandemic, you just fly. | ||
I'm just feeling so good. | ||
I feel like a ray of light. | ||
I just feel so good. | ||
It's energy. | ||
It's energy. | ||
Whether you look at it that way or not, like people love to make excuses for why they're not as successful as they think they are. | ||
But when you do that, and there's all these other people around you that are killing it, do you really think there's some fucking conspiracy against you? | ||
No. | ||
You're wasting energy. | ||
And that same kind of energy that you waste saying, what about me? | ||
What about I don't? | ||
It's all the energy you can be putting towards. | ||
Exactly. | ||
It's a 100% energy waster. | ||
It's all it is. | ||
It doesn't do you any good. | ||
Just the like waiting for Hollywood, like all the cancel culture shit, all that stuff, is you expecting Hollywood to pick you or something? | ||
Do you know what I mean? | ||
It's just negative energy. | ||
It's negative energy for no fucking reason. | ||
And it's also when people see someone like you who's doing well and they'll attack you. | ||
The only reason they're doing that is out of jealousy. | ||
That's it. | ||
That's it. | ||
If someone doesn't like you or like your act, who gives a shit? | ||
It doesn't matter. | ||
There's a lot of people that I don't like. | ||
I don't fucking talk about it. | ||
If I work on loving myself, and guys, get ready. | ||
Can you do a fake tear? | ||
I very much do. | ||
And I did not before. | ||
I didn't realize that. | ||
When did it start? | ||
Over this pandemic. | ||
You didn't love yourself before the pandemic? | ||
I mean, I liked myself, but I was really mad at myself. | ||
I was being hard on myself. | ||
unidentified
|
For real? | |
Yeah. | ||
In what way? | ||
What was bothering you? | ||
I think that I just had this subconscious belief that I was just bad. | ||
It was just from childhood. | ||
It was just like this message that I got as a kid, how I perceived how I was treated or something. | ||
And I just clung to that. | ||
And I look at everything. | ||
The way I wasn't making money, the way I felt so like I needed things. | ||
And it was because it was low self-esteem. | ||
Well, here's what's important. | ||
That's most of us. | ||
That's most of us. | ||
Even me. | ||
Yeah, that was me for a long time. | ||
Most of us feel inadequate. | ||
And then when you become successful, a lot of us have imposter syndrome. | ||
And things start doing well. | ||
And even though you know you've worked hard, and even though you know, like, oh, that show went well. | ||
You still, you feel like an imposter. | ||
But I've really worked on not doing that anymore because I would have so much anxiety even performing. | ||
This is something I've done every single night, multiple times a night for 12 years. | ||
And I'm going to the show going like, I hope they like me or whatever. | ||
It's all external validation instead of going like... | ||
I'm proud of my work. | ||
I love what I do. | ||
And I can't wait to get on that stage and do it. | ||
And it's just changed everything. | ||
And being like, I'm here to entertain these people. | ||
We're going to have this experience together. | ||
And it's been insane. | ||
I just sold out Brea. | ||
I'm just starting to sell shows out. | ||
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
Yeah, it's been really amazing. | ||
Did you read books? | ||
How did you shift? | ||
Okay, so I've been listening to this podcast by this guy, Jim Fortin, The Jim Fortin Show. | ||
Fortin? | ||
Like Norton? | ||
Yeah, but with Fortin, yeah. | ||
And I signed up for a coaching course of his and it's changed my life. | ||
Really? | ||
I've never in my life. | ||
It's just, it's a 14 week course and each week builds on the next week and it just starts with subconscious reprogramming. | ||
So he used to be a hypnotist and he works with a shaman. | ||
So it's like brain science and ancient with like spiritual wisdom and it's just been like, I just can't believe it. | ||
How'd you find out about him? | ||
I randomly was listening to a podcast. | ||
I went to, on this podcast, The Adult Chair, that's this really amazing woman, Michelle Chalfant, that I listened to. | ||
And then she had him on, and it led me to him. | ||
And this just, it's like, I really feel like the universe gave me this curriculum. | ||
It's just so cool. | ||
The program's just amazing. | ||
It's like, no excuses. | ||
I'm 100% accountable for my life, 100% of the time. | ||
And now that I have that That view, and I do these, I do meditations every night, I do, what do you call it, visualizations, and I'm reprogramming this subconscious thought of like, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough. | ||
And I now, I'm approaching things, I mean, you can get it anywhere. | ||
These are all things I've heard before. | ||
You know, I've gotten advice from people, I've read a lot of self-help and stuff, but for some reason the way he does it for me is like, at this very moment in my life, is exactly what I need. | ||
Wow. | ||
So just a big shift. | ||
A huge shift. | ||
And I feel... | ||
Yeah, I just... | ||
Money has just... | ||
Come your way? | ||
Just come my way. | ||
Oh, interesting. | ||
Congratulations on that. | ||
Listen to this. | ||
So I was living in this... | ||
I was living in this... | ||
I mean, it's maybe a laughable amount to other people, but to me it's huge. | ||
But I was living in this apartment building when the pandemic hit that... | ||
Got bought by another company and they started doing construction. | ||
They were like buying people out. | ||
For some reason they didn't offer to buy me out. | ||
I just wasn't home the day they were knocking on doors. | ||
So I was living in a construction zone where they were doing construction around my apartment bottom next to me. | ||
I'm just like in hell. | ||
I got an ulcer. | ||
I was free. | ||
I just was like in so much stress. | ||
Why didn't you call somebody and see if they'll buy you out? | ||
I did, and they refused. | ||
Really? | ||
Fuck you, bitch. | ||
We bought everybody else out. | ||
Exactly. | ||
And I thought, like, oh, I'll just wait it out. | ||
Eventually they'll buy us out. | ||
And so I was waiting and waiting and waiting in this terrible environment, miserable, like really like suffering. | ||
And my boyfriend and I went to visit our families for the first time after the pandemic. | ||
And I just had this, like, loving, wonderful place. | ||
I was taking this new course. | ||
And one of the things that Jim talks about is, like, do not be a victim of your circumstances. | ||
So my circumstances were bad. | ||
You know, my circumstances were that I was living in this shitty apartment. | ||
And I was like, I'm too, you know, the past me would have been like, I'm too broke to move. | ||
We came home and they had boarded up, like it was a Black Lives Matter rally, like boarded up the entire front of our building. | ||
There was just this little narrow hallway to go into the, it was insane. | ||
It's like, I can't live here. | ||
They took our laundry away. | ||
They moved our mailboxes outside so that homeless people could just take our mail. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
And yeah, it was just so many crazy things because I think they were just trying to get us to leave, right? | ||
But I was in this like fight with them. | ||
Was that legal? | ||
I don't think it's legal, but I don't care because I got the fuck out of there. | ||
We were walking up and I said to my boyfriend, I go, this is the last month we live here. | ||
I don't give a shit how we do it. | ||
I open up my mailbox. | ||
There's a letter from the IRS. I start to go to my normal panic like, oh fuck, I owe the IRS money. | ||
Instead, I took a breath. | ||
I'm like, I'm paying money for this course. | ||
Let me use this course. | ||
I go... | ||
I'm not like, you know, money is not a thing I'm scared of or whatever. | ||
I open it up. | ||
It's a check for $6,000 for a year that they forgot to pay me. | ||
So we moved out immediately, got a new lease in a beautiful place near the beach, and it was like done. | ||
Do you think you made that happen with your mind? | ||
I don't think I made that happen with my mind. | ||
Do you think you might have? | ||
Maybe. | ||
Do you think maybe? | ||
Maybe. | ||
Do you think Jim would tell you you made it with your mind? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't... | |
I think... | ||
Maybe. | ||
Maybe he would say... | ||
Female shaman mind. | ||
With my girly shaman mind. | ||
Maybe. | ||
You know what I've been using too? | ||
What? | ||
Duncan told me this when he did an episode of my podcast, Mean Spiration, which I'm coming back with my solo podcast, rebranding it soon. | ||
You're not going to call it Mean Spiration? | ||
I think I'm just going to call it the Annie Letterman Show. | ||
I like that better. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And so subscribe to Annie Letterman YouTube because that will be coming soon. | ||
When are you going to start then? | ||
I want to start it as soon as possible. | ||
Maybe when I go back, maybe in July. | ||
But I have ideas for my set. | ||
I have a whole vision of what I want to do. | ||
You have a set in LA? Mm-hmm. | ||
Do you know where you're going to do it? | ||
Don't tell anybody because they'll fucking stalk you, but do you have a spot? | ||
I had a spot I was looking at, but the room's too small, and I'm just open to looking at other studios. | ||
But I'm really excited, and what was I saying? | ||
Oh, Duncan came on my podcast. | ||
So if you guys do go to my YouTube, watch, look up the Duncan episode. | ||
It's my favorite thing I've ever done. | ||
He's the best. | ||
It was me and Duncan for like two hours. | ||
Just, I cried. | ||
Like we were just in it. | ||
I just love him. | ||
He's the best. | ||
He is just this sweet ray of light. | ||
He brings things out in you. | ||
He's just an angel. | ||
And I honestly feel like... | ||
When I look at him, when I look at you, those are the things that I love about you guys. | ||
That's what I aspire to be, is someone that's a light. | ||
I don't need to go up there and be mad at an audience. | ||
There's no reason. | ||
No. | ||
This is too much fun. | ||
And it's so fun. | ||
But he said this thing to me on the podcast where he said, I don't remember the name of the guy whose theory it is, but it's the idea of pro-noia. | ||
Did he mention that on your podcast? | ||
So it's instead of paranoia, where you're assuming that the universe is conspiring against you, you just assume they're conspiring for you. | ||
So that whenever anything happens, and that type of thought process has helped me. | ||
Because even if you think about it, if I'm thinking, okay, something horrible happened, oh no, what am I going to do? | ||
But if I look at it and I go, oh, this is a shift now, and now I'm moving on to something better, and then I'm looking for the positive and the good opportunities, so... | ||
So you're looking at things with a healthier perspective. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And that in turn leads to more success. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
Yeah. | ||
And then you're not wasting time. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Doing that woe is me shit. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Or being why her? | ||
Why him? | ||
What about me? | ||
Why they? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ooh. | ||
Non-binary. | ||
Got to cover the non-binary folks. | ||
Yeah, that's a really good way to look at things. | ||
Everyone has their own challenges. | ||
As much as you like to think that they don't, and you like to think that it's all... | ||
That's the thing about narcissists, right? | ||
They always want to think they're the only ones who are struggling, so they always want to talk about their struggles. | ||
But everybody struggles. | ||
We're all struggling. | ||
It's hard. | ||
Life's weird. | ||
And even if you're doing well financially, you probably have emotional struggles. | ||
There's always things going on. | ||
There's no control in this world, so it's like... | ||
If there is, it doesn't last. | ||
You're renting time here. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I feel really... | ||
Yeah, I just feel really good. | ||
I had a really amazing time with my family this weekend. | ||
I posted a video of... | ||
I always surprise my nieces. | ||
I don't know if you've seen it on my Instagram. | ||
No. | ||
I'm always like popping out of boxes or something. | ||
But I hadn't seen them in a year and a half. | ||
So my brother and I made this video. | ||
Would you play it, Jamie? | ||
It's on my Instagram. | ||
You're gonna die. | ||
Because you're going to laugh. | ||
There's some things I want to talk to you about what I did not think through. | ||
So when we did this, I was like... | ||
They hadn't seen me in so long. | ||
I was like, I'll wear my leopard print jacket to help them, so they know it's me ahead of time because they know me by it. | ||
But look what happened instead. | ||
unidentified
|
Move it back to where it goes. | |
She thought I was a fucking tiger. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, no, no, no. | |
Look at her stance. | ||
Look how she's squared up. | ||
But they're excited to see you. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're so excited. | |
They then go inside and see my family and stuff. | ||
That's so cute. | ||
It's just so funny because they go, we thought you were a tiger, and I didn't even think about that. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, that's hilarious. | |
They were at soccer practice, and then they were in the fucking jungle book. | ||
Oh, dude, last night, okay? | ||
Last night on my security camera, there was a big black cat, like a 60, 70 pound fucking something or another. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
Well, I don't know what it is. | ||
See, the thing about Texas is, there's a real issue. | ||
There's more tigers in captivity in Texas than all of the wild of the world. | ||
Really? | ||
Because of rich people wanting- Because assholes. | ||
People just have a fucking fence. | ||
I want a tiger. | ||
And you could just have a tiger here. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Because of freedom. | ||
Freedom, America. | ||
Yeah, I get it. | ||
Like, zebras. | ||
Like, my wife saw a zebra once. | ||
She was driving on the road, she saw a zebra. | ||
A fucking zebra? | ||
Zebras just get out, right? | ||
Like people have zebras and they just get out sometimes. | ||
Well, whatever this thing was, it's like a black panther. | ||
unidentified
|
Can you ride a zebra? | |
No, you cannot. | ||
Are they short? | ||
No, they're horse-sized. | ||
It's a fucking horse, a wild horse that cannot be tamed. | ||
No one has ever been able to tame a zebra. | ||
It's like trying to ride a wolf. | ||
Like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
I relate. | ||
Maybe my spirit animal is a zebra. | ||
Anyway, I'm in the middle of this. | ||
Sorry. | ||
Outside of my fucking house, there is a big black cat. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like a black panther. | ||
Wow. | ||
Like as big as my dog. | ||
You know, my dog's like 80 pounds. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
This thing is like that size. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Probably like a little less than him, but it's a big fucking black cat. | ||
And you see its eyes on the security camera walking down. | ||
And then my neighbor, who walks his fucking dog at night, his dog is like on death's door, right? | ||
It's like sweetheart of a dog. | ||
Yeah, of course. | ||
And so he's got a headlamp on. | ||
The dog? | ||
No, the neighbor. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm trying to tell a story and you're fucking up my flow. | |
This guy is dragging his fucking dog, right? | ||
You know, the dog walks slow and he's kind of pulling him along on the leash. | ||
The cat runs towards them. | ||
I'm thinking I'm going to see a murder. | ||
Were you a little excited, to be honest? | ||
No, no, because I had found out about it after the fact. | ||
I know he was okay. | ||
But it ran towards him and then decided last second to dart off into the woods. | ||
But it heard the footsteps, turned the tail, and it just goes running towards him. | ||
Like it thought he was a fucking deer or something. | ||
But it was creep. | ||
It was a big black cat. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm more concerned, how are these people able to walk their dog so close to my king's home? | ||
I don't like this. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
They live in the neighborhood. | ||
unidentified
|
They're walking around. | |
But this fucking cat is wandering around in a residential neighborhood. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
And it's because it's from someone else's house. | ||
I don't know what it is. | ||
When I looked at it, I just typed in black panthers in Texas in the wild. | ||
And what comes up is, from not that long ago, it says the wildlife officials say they don't exist in Texas. | ||
And what you probably saw is a black hog or otter. | ||
And I'm like, that's not possible. | ||
I thought you were going to say it was like a Black Panther rally. | ||
Listen, I have a video. | ||
It's a black cat. | ||
There's no doubt about it. | ||
No ifs, ands, or buts. | ||
And I know what a hog looks like. | ||
They look totally different. | ||
A hog is a big bodied thing with little tiny ass legs. | ||
I'm right here, okay? | ||
And I'm still wearing my half shirts. | ||
I don't give a shit. | ||
Black Panthers do not exist in Lone Star State. | ||
That's not true. | ||
I don't like Lone Star. | ||
It's not so sad. | ||
So it could have been private, I guess? | ||
Yeah, that's my whole point. | ||
unidentified
|
Go back up. | |
Listen, that's what it looked like. | ||
No fucking bullshit. | ||
Those hot, beautiful, gorgeous eyes. | ||
That is a hot animal. | ||
That is a sexy animal. | ||
If I was a girl, I'd want to get fucked by that. | ||
Listen, my dad might be upset, but... | ||
If I was a girl cat? | ||
See, those things, Black Panthers, what they are is the spots, but the spots are all over their whole body. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, so what that is is like a jaguar. | ||
Is their skin, if you shaved it, is their skin dark? | ||
I don't believe so. | ||
I don't know, though. | ||
Might be. | ||
Show me, like, Google black jaguar spots. | ||
Well, there's this thing. | ||
Jaguarundies. | ||
The mystery of the Texas Black Panther sighting solved. | ||
What is that? | ||
This is the year before that. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I mean, I saw this, too. | ||
Jaguarundies? | ||
Those sound hot. | ||
They come in thongs? | ||
One of my security guys said he saw one in the woods. | ||
I think he said he was walking his dog too. | ||
He saw one in the woods, a Black Panther. | ||
He said it was just like that. | ||
He was the one who spotted this thing on the camera. | ||
Listen, I have a video of it. | ||
I believe you. | ||
It's 100% real. | ||
So those assholes from Texas Wildlife need to shut the fuck up. | ||
I got a video. | ||
This thing is a real cat. | ||
Well, they probably are saying there's none just in the habitat. | ||
But they don't know that. | ||
Here's why they don't know that. | ||
Jaguars, in particular, have been spotted in the wild in Arizona. | ||
And they didn't think they used to exist in Arizona. | ||
They thought they were extirpated. | ||
Pull up jaguars in Arizona. | ||
It's going to be the cars. | ||
There's a lot of retired people. | ||
I can't help it, Joe. | ||
They're new cars. | ||
Jaguars, they still make them. | ||
What's the car? | ||
Okay, when I make my big bucks coming up here, what's my car? | ||
I think you need a convertible. | ||
Really? | ||
I want to test the first thing. | ||
See, these are jaguars in Arizona. | ||
They're so pretty. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
Gorgeous animal. | ||
You know I want to just wear that jacket. | ||
Just get a fake one. | ||
Of course. | ||
I would never get a real one. | ||
Don't murder the Jaguar. | ||
I would never. | ||
So someone killed that one, the lower left-hand corner. | ||
Oh, that's sad. | ||
They killed it in Mexico, and that was like a famous Jaguar. | ||
There was one of the two remaining jaguars in the US. It says two remaining jaguars in the US, but I'm pretty sure they killed it in... | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Go back. | ||
Go back. | ||
Well, that's really sad. | ||
See it in the left-hand corner, right below related images. | ||
See known jaguar shown right there. | ||
Yeah, click on that one. | ||
Because that article, it explains how they know. | ||
It roamed southern Arizona in 2016, but they killed it in Mexico. | ||
Interesting to wear a matching dress with the background. | ||
Does she have a matching jaguar dress? | ||
No, I'm just saying she was wearing a blue with the background was blue. | ||
You're such a girl. | ||
I can't help it. | ||
I tried not to be. | ||
I do. | ||
Doesn't say. | ||
Anyway, I'm 90% sure they killed it in Mexico, but they live in Mexico. | ||
It looks Mexico-ish. | ||
Yeah, it does a little bit. | ||
Except look at those slides. | ||
They live in, does it say? | ||
Killed by a mountain lion hunter. | ||
It's a rumor that it was. | ||
He heard someone trapped or killed one in Mexico. | ||
In Sonora, Mexico. | ||
Yeah, that's what I heard too. | ||
But my point is that in South America, they're plentiful. | ||
They live in the jungle. | ||
Like in the Amazon, they're very dangerous. | ||
They jack people all the time. | ||
They're big. | ||
It's a big animal. | ||
What do they do to them? | ||
They eat them. | ||
Oh, they kill them? | ||
They eat people. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you know when people do ayahuasca and they do it in the Amazon, they have all these images of jaguars. | ||
And there's jaguars and snakes are like a big part of the natural imagery. | ||
Yeah, I did mine in Chicago. | ||
I was just thinking deep dish pizzas and... | ||
They think they're taking on the spirit of the jungle. | ||
This is like all the things you're afraid of in the jungle and all the things that are in control in the wild and the powerful forces of the jungle. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Are you going to do ayahuasca? | ||
Yeah, I would definitely do it. | ||
I did it with a shaman that came here. | ||
I literally did it in San Diego and Chicago. | ||
Jamie and I are planning on doing DMT together soon. | ||
Can I do it with you? | ||
When are you going back home? | ||
When are you leaving? | ||
Are you leaving today? | ||
I am leaving today. | ||
Can I do it next time I come? | ||
100%. | ||
I really would love to do it with you. | ||
I did it. | ||
Yeah, let's do it. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
I was talking to Jamie about this guy we know that he would always be hitting the pen and he's like, I think I broke through. | ||
And I'm like, dude, that's like an O'Doul's. | ||
You don't know what the shit... | ||
You wouldn't think you broke through. | ||
Yeah, there's no... | ||
You don't question whether you had... | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
There's no question. | ||
unidentified
|
This experience. | |
But yeah, I really... | ||
Most people take little baby hits. | ||
That's my problem. | ||
No, I was like... | ||
I did this whole ceremony. | ||
I took three cups. | ||
I was out for about eight hours. | ||
Did you see things? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What'd you say? | ||
I saw... | ||
Well, it was right after Brody died and I... Oh. | ||
It was... | ||
Thank God I did it right then. | ||
Honestly, it was really helpful because... | ||
I was really having this like moment of like hugging him and feeling like how sad he must have felt and then I purged like an egg out of my mouth. | ||
It was like an egg and then it got like pushed out and then a bird flew out of my mouth and I think that was like my guilt about surrounding the Brody stuff, you know? | ||
Your guilt about Brody? | ||
I had just talked to him that Wednesday before he passed away. | ||
He was like, my meds are weird. | ||
I'm just not feeling right. | ||
It's not an appropriate thought. | ||
That's not my responsibility. | ||
I couldn't have stopped. | ||
I think I was just feeling... | ||
It's always that way. | ||
Whenever someone kills himself, it's always that horrible feeling where you could have done more. | ||
Yeah, but it was really... | ||
Brody, I remember Brody had talked to me about his meds years ago, and then he was okay. | ||
I remember there was one time where he got off his meds, and he was acting really strange, and he would get real angry on stage, and then a few of his friends reached out to me and said, hey, don't engage with Brody. | ||
He's off his meds, and we need to figure out a way to get him back on his meds. | ||
Then he got back on him, and he was fine. | ||
He was like, I gotta dial him in. | ||
I gotta dial him in. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He was definitely having to manage a lot. | ||
What was he on? | ||
Do you know? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I think it was Lexapro, but I don't know. | ||
I don't want to say it because I don't know for sure. | ||
It was an interesting time for me to do it. | ||
I did it with Curtis, Nelson, our boy. | ||
Where'd you guys go? | ||
Chicago? | ||
No, the Chicago one I did without Curtis, but it was the same shaman. | ||
We went to this place outside of San Diego. | ||
It was in the desert. | ||
It was a really beautiful yoga center, retreat center. | ||
It was really amazing. | ||
I'm really glad I did it. | ||
They need to open up centers in this country. | ||
They really do. | ||
There's so many people that have PTSD. There's so many people that are emotionally damaged that could be helped by this. | ||
Especially if they did it with real professionals. | ||
Yeah, and they could regulate it with them. | ||
They could make sure they're not... | ||
Make sure they give them the right dose for their body weight. | ||
Make sure they give them real stuff. | ||
Make sure they're in a protected environment with counselors so they don't have to worry about being... | ||
That's what I was thinking, too. | ||
I was like, you know, after... | ||
It would have been really cool if I was able to touch base with someone after my experience with ayahuasca, because I do think a lot of the things I learned are now kind of falling into place two years, three years later. | ||
But it would have been... | ||
Interesting to be able to like record all my thoughts right afterwards and my experience and then have someone that was trained in there to kind of go over it and kind of touch base and integrate back in. | ||
Is ayahuasca like DMT in that when you have the experience like afterwards it's so vivid but it goes away quickly like the memory of it. | ||
It's almost like your brain is trying to protect you from the memory of the experience. | ||
I remember it. | ||
I do remember it. | ||
And I think that, you know what, I really, and I remember Curtis being like, you should write everything down. | ||
And I'm like, I'm doing, like, I can. | ||
I was like, so, like, just in this experience. | ||
I just had such a beautiful, hard, but gorgeous experience. | ||
You know, it was like, So disgusting and beautiful. | ||
I always think when people say write things down, that's a good idea. | ||
A better idea is recording. | ||
Yes, I should have done that. | ||
I did a recording of one of my DMT experiences. | ||
Yeah, when you just catapult out of the DMT thing. | ||
Because it's extended over so many hours. | ||
And then the next day, it was this whole weekend process. | ||
But it really... | ||
I do remember a lot. | ||
I dealt a lot with my fear of my own dad's death, which he's not. | ||
My dad is still alive. | ||
But I was always kind of dealing with this inevitable future pain now. | ||
And I was bringing this negativity into my experiences with him. | ||
And I had a whole... | ||
Like, eulogy for him, and I could feel his, like, body in my body. | ||
I'm always like, that's the only time it's okay for your dad to be inside you. | ||
But it was like, I could feel, and I was like, he is me, so I'm never going to lose that. | ||
Like, we are each other, you know, we're all the same tribe. | ||
So I really kind of got that feeling. | ||
But it was great. | ||
It was really beautiful. | ||
The fear of loss, of potential loss, can be really crippling. | ||
It really fucks people up when you're worried about losing things. | ||
I was having a conversation with this comic in Austin. | ||
It was like, the Austin scene right now is so amazing. | ||
He's like, I'm worried it's not going to last. | ||
And I was like, but it's here right now. | ||
Right. | ||
I'm like, what are you thinking like that for? | ||
Yeah, but man, how long is this going to last? | ||
I mean, it's so good. | ||
What if it goes away? | ||
I go, hey, hey, hey, what is this what if shit? | ||
You know what that is, though? | ||
That's living in the past because that's you going back to an experience where the other shoe has dropped. | ||
Do you know what I mean? | ||
Well, it's because he's coming up. | ||
You know, he's on the way up, right? | ||
Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
One day he's going to make it. | ||
That's not who it was. | ||
He's on his way up and he's not totally confident that, you know, this is... | ||
You know, sometimes people have like a path, a career path, and then they divert to try stand-up. | ||
They always have this feeling like they have one foot on the other base. | ||
Like, well, I could always go back to being a lawyer. | ||
And they're like stretching and like, but I want to be a comic. | ||
The saddest shit in the world is when they never commit and then they never make it. | ||
Well, I always look at that too. | ||
Sometimes those people that have had success in another career, they think they have a different type of entitlement. | ||
There's a lot of entitlement in comedy. | ||
I've suffered from it. | ||
I'm very guilty of it. | ||
Entitlement how? | ||
Well, just like you're not at a place yet and you want it. | ||
And you go like, why don't I have this? | ||
Like what we were talking about earlier when you're like, these people have this. | ||
Why don't I have this? | ||
I've changed that because... | ||
My path is going to be like no one else's. | ||
Your path is like no one else's. | ||
There's no pre-written thing. | ||
This is an ocean job. | ||
They're getting sucked under. | ||
You're up on the wave. | ||
It's moving all the time. | ||
You have no clue. | ||
We don't have these land jobs. | ||
And for you to think that you were supposed to have something means that There's a specific path that just doesn't exist. | ||
But anyway, so these people that have these jobs, that have success in them, then come into comedy, and it's almost like they want this rollover success. | ||
Like, because I was here or there, so then they have this, like... | ||
Anxiety of not being, like, at that level that they were at this other thing. | ||
I've experienced it just with people coming up. | ||
And, you know, it's like you just gotta start over. | ||
And you gotta just take the hits. | ||
But you don't, it's how you get good. | ||
Well, you have to just look at what you're doing and improve upon what you're doing. | ||
And don't look at it like you have these expectations. | ||
The problem is, you know, when people have expectations, oftentimes they're either unrealistic or they're not grounded and centered in the reality of the circumstances you find yourself in. | ||
And you wanted things to be better. | ||
Like, people have, like, fucking vision boards. | ||
In three years, I'm going to be on Showtime. | ||
Like, listen, bitch, just fucking get better. | ||
Yeah, and three years if Showtime's around, good luck. | ||
Showtime will be around. | ||
Just kidding. | ||
How dare you? | ||
You're still bitter about the Comedy Store documentary? | ||
No, I love the Comedy Store documentary. | ||
Could I have had a better... | ||
That episode with us was beautiful. | ||
It was beautiful. | ||
Very happy with it. | ||
Yeah, the one on the rooftop? | ||
Yeah, it was great. | ||
No, the rooftop one I didn't care for. | ||
Too edited. | ||
It was very edited. | ||
We had these long conversations and they took these tiny little snippets up and I was like... | ||
Yeah, that was a long, fun, weird night on that rooftop. | ||
It was fun. | ||
It was a great time. | ||
I get to know Paul Rodriguez. | ||
I never really hung out with him before. | ||
Yeah, Paul was on fire. | ||
And we found out that Paul had COVID. Oh, really? | ||
He didn't even know. | ||
That day? | ||
No, no, he had had COVID. Oh, because he got the antibodies? | ||
Yeah, we brought in... | ||
The tests. | ||
We brought in nurses to test everybody. | ||
Because they were worried about everybody being up on the roof together. | ||
And I'm like, well, just test everybody. | ||
And then Paul had the fucking antibodies, which is kind of crazy. | ||
He goes, yeah, I was sick. | ||
I didn't know. | ||
He goes, but it wasn't that bad. | ||
Paul was like a fucking hardcore partier for 45 fucking years. | ||
He's still sweaty. | ||
He's still up there with his hat all sweaty. | ||
Yeah, he was a little sweaty, but Burr was up there with us and Jay Leno. | ||
It was a good time. | ||
Imagine you're me on that rooftop. | ||
I mean, that was amazing. | ||
That was so fun. | ||
It was the first time I was meeting Jay Leno. | ||
Jay Leno was like, I love your stuff. | ||
I was like, what? | ||
Oh, this was really incredible. | ||
That's wild. | ||
And the piece that they did on me on that same episode with you was so... | ||
I mean, I am really touched by it. | ||
I really was very, very... | ||
It's validation, right? | ||
It was lovely. | ||
It's like you're on the path. | ||
I was getting texts from like Louie. | ||
I was getting texts from all... | ||
It was just like... | ||
It just felt so good. | ||
That's cool. | ||
That's very cool. | ||
And yeah, it felt great. | ||
It was really nice. | ||
Yeah, I felt like, you know, whenever there's things like that that have, like, these conversations, to impose a time limit on that. | ||
That's the beautiful thing about podcasts, right? | ||
As opposed to, like, a regular television show where you have to, you know, it has to be 44 minutes long or whatever it is, with showtime an hour, I guess. | ||
But it's... | ||
unidentified
|
You miss stuff. | |
You have to kill some of it. | ||
It's all about context, right? | ||
These conversations that we had on the roof, we were going over road gigs and material, and Jay Leno was all into being clean. | ||
That was a very interesting debate. | ||
The world missed that. | ||
Did he keep it in? | ||
I didn't watch that episode. | ||
No, he removed it. | ||
But Jay Leno is from a time where it mattered if you were clean or dirty, because if you were clean, you could get on television. | ||
If you were dirty, you could not, and you would have to work the road. | ||
So his mindset, because he was talking about financial success, which was the most bizarre conversation of all time, because he's sitting next to me, who's super fucking dirty. | ||
And I'm like, okay, I want to be nice because I love Jay Leno. | ||
He's filthy and he's rich. | ||
I'm like, this is so crazy. | ||
I'm right here. | ||
This is such a dumb conversation. | ||
But he maybe doesn't know what is going on with you. | ||
He might just not know because he's paying attention to TV. He knows because I know that him and Binder were talking about me selling out arenas and he didn't believe it. | ||
He's like, what? | ||
Because he's not on the internet. | ||
He's under the hood. | ||
I can turn monkey wrenches and shit. | ||
I know he thinks things are going well, but I just don't think he understands. | ||
It's like he's from a different time. | ||
There was no arena sellers. | ||
Think about how upsetting that would be if he really got that he had to do all of that stuff and you got to just be yourself. | ||
I mean, that's gotta suck. | ||
He's himself when he does the car show. | ||
Jay Leno is so good on that Jay Leno's Garage. | ||
He's fucking excellent at it. | ||
Coming from someone like me, who's a total gearhead, I fucking love cars, and he loves cars, and I love doing that show with him. | ||
I never enjoyed doing late night talk shows. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because I always felt like it was fun, but it's not fun like hanging out at the store. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's not fun like hanging out with a friend. | ||
Doing Jay Leno's car show is fun. | ||
Because you're doing something you have a common interest, you're chatting. | ||
He has it. | ||
He has it. | ||
He's so plugged in. | ||
When you're doing a car show with that guy, he loves it. | ||
So I was on his show with my 65 Corvette. | ||
So me and him are talking and we're all like, ah! | ||
Like the engine and the fucking, the shapes of the cars back then and look at the interior and the manual shifter and all this stuff and it's like we're totally on the same page and synced up and he's 100% himself. | ||
Like who Jay Leno is off camera, that's how he is on camera when he's talking about cars. | ||
He just gets to be himself. | ||
But when he's doing The Tonight Show, he's got to be the host of a television show and it's all buttoned down and it's kind of stiff and you're waiting for the next thing and I just feel like that would be so much pressure. | ||
I've known people that have written on those shows, and you see the life leave their eyes. | ||
The workload is insane. | ||
You have to write a whole new monologue every day. | ||
You barely get to test it. | ||
Jay used to do Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa every Sunday night, and he would run over a week's worth of material. | ||
You'd have to practice it in front of the audience. | ||
And so people would come to see it and then hope that they would see those jokes that week on The Tonight Show. | ||
But it's like that world is, people that don't understand the world of podcasts, it's a different world now. | ||
Like, it's changed. | ||
It's like the difference between radio and TV, and then there's TV and podcasts. | ||
It's that much of a monumental shift. | ||
Do you think Jay would come on and talk to you about it? | ||
He has been on. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
He's been on. | ||
He was great. | ||
unidentified
|
I love him. | |
He told a fucking story about being at a mob club. | ||
He told a story about doing a gig for a mobster, and the mobster screaming at a priest about having already, I gave you your fucking money, and screaming at this priest. | ||
Like dangerous mobsters. | ||
He told some wild road stories. | ||
It was really fun. | ||
Yeah, I really... | ||
That was a very... | ||
I didn't even know I was going to love him as much as I loved him. | ||
I mean, I've always been a fan, but it was really... | ||
He's great. | ||
But he's just from that weird world where they worry about clean or dirty. | ||
I was on the stage with Burr and everyone. | ||
I'm like, who are you talking to? | ||
Burr's dirty, too. | ||
It's so crazy. | ||
The most successful people here are dirty. | ||
And Britney's fucking dirty, too. | ||
And she's right there, too. | ||
But it's like... | ||
I mean, her fucking special's called Can I Touch It? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But also, he loved my piece in the comedy documentary, and I did a period fucking joke. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I'm like... | ||
I just think in his mind, that was his world when he was coming up. | ||
And in his world, he was correct. | ||
His decisions led him to be much more financially successful. | ||
You know all that stuff that he has? | ||
Like if you see Jay Leno's garage, he has like 11 garages filled with millions of dollars worth of cars. | ||
He bought all that with stand-up money. | ||
He never touched his Tonight Show money. | ||
Never touched it. | ||
All that's in a bank. | ||
Does he have kids? | ||
No. | ||
That's why he's got that much fucking time to do that kind of shit. | ||
But that was his world back then. | ||
His world was, you gotta be clean. | ||
If you want to get on television, the only way to get famous is to be on television. | ||
Nowadays, that's not the world. | ||
The world is a different place. | ||
I had a booker tell me once, I was really happy with my set, too. | ||
It was maybe like five years ago. | ||
I had just gotten into this stride where I was so happy with my set. | ||
And it was dirty, but I was just so happy with it. | ||
And this booker was like, you're great and everything, but you need to appeal to a Christian audience. | ||
And I was like, what? | ||
Who said that? | ||
Don't say it. | ||
I won't say it. | ||
I'll tell you later. | ||
You might not know him, honestly. | ||
And I forgive him for that, honestly, because I really did hold on to being so pissed at him about that. | ||
And I'm like, why did I? He's just trying to help me. | ||
It was just his idea of it was so off from what was true to me. | ||
And what I'm thinking about, even with this movie I'm writing with Bonnie, My agent, who I do really love, I finally have an agent I love, I can't believe it, Ryan. | ||
But he was like, oh, I'm going to set you up with these people that are going to tell you what the different studios are looking for. | ||
I'm like, I don't give a shit what the studios are looking for. | ||
I'm going to make what I love. | ||
And then if they want to get on board, they want to get on board. | ||
But I'm no longer here to serve other people. | ||
I'm here to make what I love, and that's how I would like to serve other people. | ||
Well, that's the best way to do it, because if you do make what you love, it will resonate with people. | ||
But if you don't, if you try to make what they love, maybe some people will like it, maybe some people won't, but you won't like it. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
And if I like it and everyone else hates it, I can take that hit. | ||
Because I believe in it. | ||
But it won't. | ||
If you like it, other people will like it. | ||
Ronnie and I are like crying laughing writing this movie. | ||
Yeah, I'm telling you. | ||
It's going to work. | ||
It'll work. | ||
Yeah, I'm just so excited. | ||
But there's always going to be people giving you fucking terrible advice like that. | ||
That's just always going to happen. | ||
But also it's such a weird because the industry is changing. | ||
Nobody really knows, you know, and the industry folk are really just trying to find their way in. | ||
I got yelled at once by this really mediocre comedian when I was an open miker. | ||
He was the host of the open mic night, and he was so mediocre. | ||
He was just so, like, you know, he was a local middle act that was, like, barely passable. | ||
He would get a couple of chuckles on stage. | ||
He was nobody's favorite comedian. | ||
He just wasn't that good. | ||
But when he would see comics doing well, he would give you all kinds of advice and tell you what you were doing wrong. | ||
Because he hated talent. | ||
It was really weird. | ||
Like you could see, there was sparks. | ||
So he told me to stop swearing. | ||
He told me, try to make all those jokes work without swearing. | ||
And I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
But isn't that how you talk normally? | ||
He goes, yeah, but this isn't normal. | ||
You're on stage. | ||
I know. | ||
It's like, uh... | ||
I'm like, okay, you are fucking terrible at this. | ||
Well, some people do do acts. | ||
Like, some people are a character and they heighten themselves and that's... | ||
I'm totally cool. | ||
That's not what I do, though. | ||
I've been spending my entire time while I'm doing comedy trying to be more myself on stage. | ||
That's just how I like to do it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Not to say that it's wrong. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, but... | |
Listen, there's nothing wrong with an act. | ||
But to tell someone that they have to do an act is stupid. | ||
This tastes good. | ||
It's pretty damn good, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Kill Cliff, pineapple jalapeno. | ||
I'm drinking this shit, and so then I need this stuff to counter it. | ||
Balance you out. | ||
Yeah, this has got vitamin B in it. | ||
This is why I'm about to shit myself on stage every day. | ||
300 milligrams caffeine. | ||
I'm always just like, caffeine, then relax. | ||
Yeah, but this stuff is so delicious. | ||
These Black Rifle espressos, they're so good. | ||
They're both so good. | ||
Triple shot of espresso. | ||
I'm not getting paid for this. | ||
It says natural caffeine like anybody gives a fuck if it's natural. | ||
I mean, it's all just molecules. | ||
Dude, all I know is that I will naturally have hemorrhoids from this, but it's okay. | ||
You get hemorrhoids from shitting? | ||
From shitting? | ||
No, if I drink, I could blast my ass out with coffee. | ||
Why? | ||
It's like a dehydration. | ||
Drink water. | ||
Here, have some water. | ||
Oh my god, here we are back again. | ||
Have some water. | ||
What the fuck are you doing? | ||
I don't understand. | ||
I don't understand how... | ||
unidentified
|
Don't do that. | |
I have to drink out of that. | ||
You fucking selfish. | ||
You think I'm dirty? | ||
unidentified
|
You might be. | |
You said I smell good. | ||
You do smell good. | ||
I'm selfish. | ||
It's a little weird to drink out of the pitcher. | ||
I was doing a bit. | ||
Put your slobbery mouth in there. | ||
I was doing a bit. | ||
Yeah, but you spit in there now. | ||
I'm going to have to have Jeff bring out another pitcher. | ||
Hey, bring on the pictures. | ||
Dude, you can spit in my mouth. | ||
Catch your picture. | ||
Oh, thank you so much. | ||
And COVID's over. | ||
We can spit in each other's mouths again. | ||
I'm so glad I wasn't single during COVID. Trying to fuck during COVID. All the kinky shit you can't even like. | ||
Well, some people, they put masks on and fucked. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I have a joke where I've been starting to use, I've started using condoms over the pandemic. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Call them dick masks. | ||
But I'm like, these are crazy. | ||
But there's a punchline, but you have to come see me to go to AnnieLetterman.com to see my tour. | ||
Have you seen the helmets that we have out there? | ||
Are they penis helmets? | ||
No. | ||
Reggie Watts sent me that. | ||
Oh, those are Reggie. | ||
I was wondering. | ||
I was like, is this Duncan? | ||
Reggie told us about it. | ||
He was going to travel with them in the early days of the pandemic. | ||
So funny. | ||
How does his hair fit in? | ||
I fucking love that dude. | ||
Oh, he's amazing. | ||
He's a true artist. | ||
He's so sweet. | ||
He's such a true artist, but he's also so smart. | ||
He knows so many things. | ||
Like, just talk to him about... | ||
He's a gearhead, too. | ||
And so we start talking about cars, and he takes it, like, many levels past me into, like, suspension geometry and the way they use their torque vectoring system to, like... | ||
I can't even imagine him in a car. | ||
I can only imagine him in, like, one of those giant, like... | ||
The wheel, what are those called? | ||
Hamster wheels? | ||
No, you know those like bikes that have like a little wheel? | ||
Oh no, he loves cars. | ||
He rented a Ferrari when he was here. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, he showed up with a Ferrari. | ||
Oh, I gotta do that. | ||
He should. | ||
Next time I'm renting a good- Let everybody know you're a boss bitch. | ||
Yes. | ||
That's what your license plate should say. | ||
Boss bitch. | ||
Boss bitch. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
I don't want people to know. | ||
You know Tony had his iRoast thing? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You don't like that? | ||
I don't want people to know it's me. | ||
I want, right? | ||
Don't you want like anonymity? | ||
unidentified
|
Take your windows? | |
But I do, I also want a Tesla that's like leopard print. | ||
That's what I was just going to say. | ||
You need a leopard print. | ||
I need a leopard print Tesla. | ||
You need a leopard print something. | ||
unidentified
|
Did you see Kim Kardashian's car she had in fur? | |
I don't want fur. | ||
That's nasty. | ||
No, but I do want to say this. | ||
There was an article in Time Magazine yesterday that I saw on Twitter where they were calling out Kim Kardashian for blackfishing and appropriating black culture because she had braids on. | ||
That's all she was doing. | ||
You know where I stand. | ||
But anyway, the comments in the Time Magazine post were 100% against Time Magazine for saying that. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
They're like, cut the fucking shit. | ||
All she did is have braids. | ||
They've got to stop. | ||
And this is also white people writing these things to try to rile up a thing so they can sell more stuff. | ||
It's just clickbait. | ||
But it's just trying to get people outraged for no fucking reason. | ||
It's such a strange time when it comes to that stuff. | ||
There's so much of that going on right now. | ||
I know, but I think it's going to come to an end. | ||
I'm just not engaging. | ||
There's just so many people that that's their thing. | ||
Their thing is calling people out. | ||
I mean, there's so many weaselly, non-talented little fucks, and that's what they do. | ||
They just try to find people that they can call out and exaggerate things and distort things. | ||
If they're not comics, I don't care as much. | ||
When comics do it, it's like, come on, guys. | ||
No good comics do that. | ||
Every comic that does that sucks. | ||
All of them. | ||
They all suck. | ||
The reason why they do it is because they suck. | ||
Otherwise they would be concentrating on themselves. | ||
Or if they don't suck, they're definitely not at their full potential. | ||
If they were at their full potential, they wouldn't even think like that. | ||
Yeah, I just tap out of it. | ||
I'm not... | ||
Good, good for you. | ||
The people that concentrate on other people like that, they almost always suck. | ||
That's just a fact. | ||
I've gotten off of Twitter. | ||
I just go on Twitter to like, I post a few things here and there, but I don't ever read it and stuff. | ||
My twin brother's always on Twitter and he seems to love it. | ||
He works at NBC Sports in Boston, so he does like the Celtics stuff. | ||
It's good for sports. | ||
It's good for news. | ||
So he likes it, but I just don't. | ||
I mean, the most I hear about Twitter is from him pretty much. | ||
It's a terrible way for human beings to communicate. | ||
And they're communicating in text with no context, right? | ||
It's just like this little thing. | ||
And then other people are communicating in text. | ||
You're not seeing the person. | ||
You're not looking at them. | ||
You're not having a conversation. | ||
It's just this abbreviated blurb. | ||
And this guy, Alan Levinovitz, who was a guest on my podcast in the past, had a great statement about that. | ||
He says it's processed information the same way processed food is bad for you, processed information is bad. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And if you think about all these really unhealthy people that are eating processed food, because your body's like, ugh, what is this? | ||
That's the same thing with these people's minds that are just digesting processed information all the time. | ||
You're not getting a real nuanced, balanced perspective. | ||
And one of the fucking best things about podcasts is you have conversations with people, like one-to-one conversations where Most people don't get those anymore. | ||
You know what I've noticed, though, about when you get under fire for things? | ||
They never print the next day if you say something else. | ||
Do you know what I mean? | ||
Like, they'll catch, like, a segment of what you say, they run with it, and then if you're like, oh, I didn't even think of that part when I was saying that, they won't. | ||
It doesn't matter because the people that know me know me. | ||
The podcast is huge, right? | ||
So the millions of people that listen, they heard the whole thing. | ||
They get it. | ||
And then the clickbaity people, all it ever does, and this is what's fucked, it makes the podcast bigger. | ||
Because every time one of those clickbaity things happens, my numbers go up. | ||
Yeah, and you're right. | ||
It's not people that, like, already... | ||
You're not losing anyone that you already have. | ||
You're just not... | ||
It's the people that already didn't like you. | ||
But if you had a television show, that would work. | ||
So if they wanted to cancel you and you had a television show and they could take something out of context and get you canceled, it would work because people wouldn't know. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Right? | |
Because it's not like you have these opportunities to express yourself in these long-form podcasts. | ||
But because I do, it doesn't work. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
But it would work if I didn't... | ||
Because they could take something Yes. | ||
Well, they could take something out of context, and they could change who you are. | ||
I've done 1,667 regular podcasts, and then on top of that, there's been, I don't know how many, Fight Companions and MMA podcasts. | ||
It's a lot of talking. | ||
You could go through it and find stupid shit I've said, but it doesn't mean that's who I am. | ||
Who you are is who you are all the time. | ||
We are a weird, nuanced creature that has a lot of conflicting ideas. | ||
And if you take things out of context, and with doing it to try to get the least charitable interpretation of who that person is, you're doing that in bad faith. | ||
And you do it enough times, people figure it out. | ||
And they get it. | ||
Yeah, and I also feel like on Twitter and stuff, whenever, if you've noticed the pattern, it's like people who cancel get canceled. | ||
Everyone that points a finger, immediately they find some other thing they say. | ||
Because people start looking at you. | ||
Immediately. | ||
Yeah, they start looking at you and you go, what have you done? | ||
Oh, look at the N-word in your tweet. | ||
Look at the this. | ||
I know, it's like you're like, I cannot believe you came after that person with that stuff you said. | ||
Well that guy that went after Tony. | ||
Oh my god, he's got so much shit. | ||
But that was the thing when Tony put up his whole act. | ||
Like his whole act was racial. | ||
Like that's literally his whole act. | ||
So when Tony was going on and saying that after him, in context, especially since the guy opened for Tony, the guy was on Kill Tony, even his, like that was the thing in his resume. | ||
That he was on Kill Tony and they opened up for Tony on the run. | ||
He just took a chance because this is what people think they can do today. | ||
And it almost worked. | ||
Right. | ||
Until people saw the whole set. | ||
And some people don't care. | ||
They still think, Tony, fuck Tony, you know, even though I saw the whole set. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But that is what they do to each other. | ||
And that's their choice. | ||
Like, whatever people want. | ||
I mean, it's like, we can't control it. | ||
Did you see what Louis and Ari did? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Hilarious. | ||
They literally made their version of it afterwards. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
When Louis called Ari a dirty kike. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Listen, this is what comics do, especially roast comics. | ||
They say things that are shocking that the audience knows they don't mean. | ||
That's why it's funny. | ||
The audience, first of all, the other thing you see about Tony's video is he fucking killed. | ||
The reason why he killed is because everyone there knew he was fucking around at first, and then he's got a smile on his face, and it's just, if you know Tony, this is the kind of comedy he does. | ||
And for him to do that after that guy is just, he's being a dick in jest. | ||
He's not really a dick. | ||
I know, and then you cut it down, you caption it and everything, and I don't want to like, that guy did his thing, I'm not even, he did his thing. | ||
Well he's fucked now. | ||
He did his thing. | ||
But it's like, then you're giving it, you're putting it in another, you're taking it out of context, and now you actually are hurting people, right? | ||
There are people watching that are going like, he said that? | ||
And now it's like, what is the point of this? | ||
Now more people are hurt. | ||
I don't think he should have either. | ||
It's a cheat. | ||
But he was joking. | ||
When you're on stage, you take a chance. | ||
And he definitely didn't think it was going to get out of that room. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But then it's sad. | ||
It's like, so then all these people are, you know, like my boyfriend's mom is Asian. | ||
She probably would have been so hurt. | ||
She went on Twitter. | ||
Right. | ||
And then that sucks. | ||
You just hurt like now. | ||
But, you know. | ||
Well, Tony's longest relationship that he ever had was with a Chinese girl. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, he's not racist. | ||
He's just trying to be funny, and sometimes you miss. | ||
Patrice had the best line about that, and he said that whether something kills or whether something bombs and offends everybody, it all comes from the same place. | ||
You're just trying to be funny. | ||
And you understand it, and I understand it, because this is what we do. | ||
We take swings. | ||
And sometimes, like, you're about to say something, and you're like, I don't even know I should say it, but I'm going to say it anyway. | ||
And you're like, Yikes, that didn't work. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, whoops. | |
As it's like rolling out, oh no. | ||
Yeah, but it's not like a carefully crafted statement that definitely represents all of your feelings on the subject. | ||
It's just talking shit. | ||
And that's what bits are until they're formulated. | ||
That's the other dirty thing. | ||
That's when I got really upset at people that were going after Louis when that leaked set came out. | ||
Oh yeah, it's a leaked set. | ||
Not only is it a leaked set. | ||
It's not just a leaked set. | ||
It's a leaked set when the guy hadn't done stand-up for almost a fucking year and he was clearly working something out. | ||
And if you just left it alone, that bit probably would have been a monster. | ||
It would have been monster. | ||
So when people were looking at it, they'd go, oh, that's offensive. | ||
He made fun of the people who survived Parkland. | ||
Yeah, he did. | ||
But if you left him alone for four or five months, he probably would have made it work. | ||
He would have found a way to make it work, and this is the thing that happens with really controversial bits. | ||
You start off with this idea, and you bring it on stage, and someone will be like, oh, you shouldn't have said that word, or oh, you shouldn't have said this word, and you're like, okay, how do I make it so that it reaches the most amount of people and doesn't piss people off, but gets my point across, or maybe I can say that, but I have to say something else first. | ||
It's all about crafting it so it enters into your mind the best way. | ||
It's almost like foreplay or something. | ||
It's like you're trying to get in there with the least amount of resistance and the most amount of impact. | ||
Right? | ||
Doesn't that make sense? | ||
Sometimes you need a little lube, too, though. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, maybe someone's getting old. | |
I was thinking anally, and I don't know why I was thinking of two men in this. | ||
Jesus, two guys. | ||
Both holes? | ||
No, I'm not there. | ||
Or one hole? | ||
I'm not there. | ||
I'm a voyeur. | ||
Oh, you're watching. | ||
It's me watching Gabe. | ||
Two guys fucking each other? | ||
Yeah, missionary. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
Whoa, that's a rough one. | ||
It's a weird one, but their lives are flexible. | ||
Some guys are. | ||
I used to watch Queer as Folk. | ||
I used to love that show. | ||
And they'd always be... | ||
That's a fucking show that I forgot about. | ||
It was good. | ||
That was a good show. | ||
That was like the first gay show. | ||
Yeah, that was good. | ||
The L Word. | ||
You know what I've been thinking about? | ||
You know how Ellen got canceled or everyone was going after her? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's so weird. | ||
And I've heard stories about her. | ||
I'm sure she's... | ||
terrible to people whatever all that stuff but then I also think do you remember that she was the first fucking lesbian to come out on TV and she was monumental and not only that but she's like had that show where she got like she's just this butch lesbian dancing into these the lives of these straight women well I feel like when you look at what happened to her when she had her sitcom right So she had her sitcom, she came out, and then basically her sitcom went away. | ||
And it went away because she came out. | ||
It was a very successful show. | ||
It was doing really well. | ||
And it went away because, at the time, people weren't willing to accept it. | ||
And when you've experienced that, and you've also experienced what it must be like to be a gay woman and to try to get some traction in Hollywood, you probably build up a lot of resentment and a lot of anger. | ||
And one of the things that definitely happens, I've seen it on sitcoms, where someone's the star of a sitcom, right? | ||
And all their life, they wanted to be the boss. | ||
In all their life, they get shut down. | ||
They go on auditions. | ||
Fuck you. | ||
Go home. | ||
You're not going to make it. | ||
We didn't book you. | ||
We canceled you. | ||
Someone else is coming in. | ||
And all that stuff happens. | ||
And then finally they get something. | ||
They have all this built-up resentment. | ||
And then once they have everybody kissing their ass, they lean into it. | ||
They lean into it. | ||
Like I remember, it was Brett Butler. | ||
Do you remember her? | ||
Yeah, everyone told me I look like her. | ||
You're much prettier and funnier. | ||
But we both were drunks. | ||
She was on Grace Under Fire, right? | ||
She had that sitcom. | ||
Yeah, she was funny as fuck. | ||
Her stand-up was really good, too. | ||
But she had a thing, and she blew up at that Chuck Lorre guy, the guy who is the two and a half men guy. | ||
The guy's done everything, right? | ||
He's like the biggest sitcom producer slash writer guy, really, in the history of the business. | ||
And I think it was that kind of thing. | ||
And Roseanne told me she had that kind of thing too. | ||
She goes, you know, when she was on the podcast talking about it, she's like, I lost my fucking mind. | ||
She's like, I know. | ||
People are triggered. | ||
People are not well. | ||
Things are going crazy. | ||
But it's also being in that position is nuts. | ||
Being in the position where you are, like imagine showing up on the set and you got like a fucking 150 people that depend on you. | ||
And you walk in, Roseanne, can I get you anything? | ||
Can I get you a bagel? | ||
Can I get you a coffee? | ||
Can I get you this? | ||
Can I get you that? | ||
And you're on meds. | ||
unidentified
|
You're like, I thought she was white! | |
Yeah, and you're fucking Tom Arnold. | ||
unidentified
|
There's a lot going on. | |
A lot of confusing shit. | ||
And she did think that lady was white, by the way. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, the lady looks white as fuck. | ||
That clip was so funny. | ||
Was that on your show? | ||
Yeah, she goes, I thought that bitch was white. | ||
I'm like, whoa. | ||
She goes, I thought she was Jewish. | ||
That's what she thought. | ||
And Roseanne's all into the Kabbalah, too, so she likes Judaism. | ||
Well, she's a Jew. | ||
But Roseanne is also one of the greatest stand-up comics that's ever lived. | ||
If you go back, you can watch Roseanne's early days. | ||
And that was something... | ||
Not only that, like the big thing with Roseanne, when she was getting canceled and I reached out immediately because I'm like, you fucking people have no idea that this lady got hit by a car when she was 15. She had severe brain damage. | ||
She had to go on Oprah and apologize for accusing her parents of She's been through trouble. | ||
She was in a mental institute for nine months at 15 years old after getting hit by a car. | ||
She used to be excellent at math. | ||
She got hit by a car. | ||
She couldn't even count anymore. | ||
Do you know the whole story? | ||
Some lady couldn't see because the sun was on her windshield. | ||
She had a dirty windshield. | ||
And she drove right into the intersection and hit Roseanne. | ||
I gotta wash my car. | ||
She was 15 years old. | ||
Damn. | ||
And that changed her whole fucking life. | ||
And from that moment on, she's been mentally ill. | ||
She's all fucked up. | ||
She's on all kinds of pills and stuff. | ||
But she's a sweet lady. | ||
But she's just tormented. | ||
She's got demons in there just bouncing around inside of her head. | ||
And she's insanely impulsive. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, you remember when she did the national anthem and grabbed her pussy and spit and browned. | ||
Everybody went crazy. | ||
They were so mad at her. | ||
She was screaming. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
She's nuts. | ||
But she's also brilliant. | ||
Like, her comedy is fucking amazing. | ||
And, you know, they canceled her off that show. | ||
They killed her off. | ||
And then the show was never good. | ||
It also was a show that was showing both sides. | ||
It was like something that was really cool. | ||
Well, that was another part of the problem with the show was that she was a Trump supporter for who knows what reason. | ||
I mean, she might think he's communicating to her through winking. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's like... | ||
But on the show, in the first season, it fucking worked. | ||
And all those premises and all the different things, like, she wrote all that stuff. | ||
She was explaining to me how they started phasing her out of the writing. | ||
They didn't want her to write anymore. | ||
And she's like, what? | ||
Like, what are you doing? | ||
Like, this is my show. | ||
They're like, you don't have to come to the writing room. | ||
Like, I don't have to come to the writing room. | ||
Like, what? | ||
And then all that shit happened, and then they just killed her off. | ||
Is that show still on the air? | ||
The Conners? | ||
I think it is. | ||
Is it? | ||
How many shows are on the air? | ||
Just a lot of shows. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I only watch reality TV. Jamie knows. | ||
I watched The Challenge. | ||
This is an MTV show that's been going on. | ||
It was like real world road rules and then they put all of these Crazy, heightened reality stars together, and they have to do some eating nasty stuff, they have to do all these different physical challenges, but it's really hard. | ||
Jamie and I were talking about it at the creek in the cave that night that I saw you, and people were coming up to try to talk to us. | ||
Tony came up and was like, you know what, I gotta tell you. | ||
And I go, Tony, do you watch the challenge? | ||
He goes, no. | ||
And I go, I'm gonna need you to remove yourself from this conversation. | ||
When you find a kindred person, I mean, how many years has the challenge been on? | ||
The 36 seasons. | ||
What? | ||
Wait, wait, wait. | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
Yeah. | ||
And I've seen all of them. | ||
That's how I felt. | ||
Survivor and The Challenge. | ||
I've rewatched all of them over the pandemic. | ||
How am I just hearing about this? | ||
You never told me about this once. | ||
It's something I don't like to talk about. | ||
It's like that secret show I watched by myself. | ||
I was like, no, listen, and also, Jamie, you told him not to watch the movie Midsommar, and I need you to watch the movie Midsommar and talk to you about it. | ||
You told me to not watch the movie Midsommar? | ||
We talked about it before. | ||
I was like, ah, it's fine. | ||
It's like a sex cult. | ||
It's the best representation of a bad mushroom drip I've ever seen in my life. | ||
They have the stuff moving and stuff. | ||
It's a horror movie. | ||
I mean, it is horrible. | ||
But it's so good. | ||
And the reason I brought it up is you were talking about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, how they had that violent scene at the end. | ||
You don't see that anymore. | ||
There's some violent, fucked up shit in this movie. | ||
Well, the violence scene in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, what's crazy about it, it's a star doing horrible violence to a woman. | ||
And you're like, whoa, this is shocking. | ||
Obviously, a cult murderer woman, a bad woman, but it's like, Tarantino can get away with shit that no one can get away with. | ||
A lot of foot stuff. | ||
Yeah, he's in her feet. | ||
I always want to know. | ||
I've been asking on stage. | ||
I'm like, are you guys one of these or one of these? | ||
Which way do you put it? | ||
What does that mean? | ||
Do you go through the toe? | ||
Oh, do you fuck the toes? | ||
Do guys fuck the toes? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm just trying to learn about it. | ||
I'm trying to be curious. | ||
Some guys are into foot jobs, right? | ||
Where the girl rubs their feet. | ||
That's got to be exhausting on your hamstrings and calves. | ||
But it may be good for you. | ||
You gotta work on that core. | ||
If you're using your core, you're fine. | ||
I bet it'd be really good. | ||
If you're lying on your back and you got your feet up in the air... | ||
Dude, this is like Pilates. | ||
And you're doing this? | ||
Like, this is hard to do. | ||
You do the like 100 or whatever from Pilates? | ||
unidentified
|
If you're jerking off a guy like this, that's a lot of work. | |
But sometimes your jaw hurts. | ||
I got TMJ. I get it. | ||
You gotta do what you gotta do. | ||
Yeah, you gotta take a break. | ||
I understand. | ||
My hands are getting dry. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, I get it. | ||
And you need to do some core work. | ||
Listen, I'm in the gym all the time. | ||
In that position, if you're lying on your back with your knees up like that and you're going back and forth, that's a serious ab workout. | ||
You know what you could do, too? | ||
You could put some bars on the ceiling. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
Get a full body and you're just kind of going up and down. | ||
That's really hard to do, though. | ||
You can only hang for so long. | ||
Listen, I think anything's possible. | ||
Yeah, anything's possible if you set your mind to it. | ||
I mean, I've seen some people do... | ||
That's the thing about Instagram is a lot of those fitness influencers. | ||
You see people doing stuff. | ||
You're like, I didn't even know you could fucking do that. | ||
Yeah, it's so crazy. | ||
There's so many people now that start off with dumbbells on the ground with doing a dip where they lift their leg off the ground and then they pull it all the way up and then go into a handstand. | ||
And you're like, how many fucking people can do that? | ||
That's... | ||
I'm just working on push-ups. | ||
I can do a pull-up. | ||
I'd like to do pull-ups is my new thing. | ||
You can do a pull-up? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, you know what you should do? | ||
You should get one of those rubber bands. | ||
Do you know those heavy bands? | ||
Oh, yeah, how you can kind of... | ||
Yeah, give you a little lift. | ||
Because I used to rock climb back in the day, and I used to go to the gym, and the gym had... | ||
A pull-up machine and they would take the weight off you. | ||
Right, yeah. | ||
And so that was really helpful for that. | ||
Life cycle, I think it's called. | ||
Lifestyle fitness. | ||
Maybe I'll start rock climbing again. | ||
Whitney's boyfriend rock climbs. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he's really good. | ||
You don't want to go with people that are too good. | ||
Well, he could probably show you what to do. | ||
But their problems are just going to be, they'll be doing like V6s or something I'm doing. | ||
What's a V6? It's like goes V0 to, I think it can go, I don't know how high it goes, but. | ||
Oh, like difficulty. | ||
That's the level of difficulty of the problems, yeah. | ||
Oh. | ||
For bouldering. | ||
Yeah, I've had quite a few rock climbers on the show and it's just like, the people that like, Alex Honnold, the people that do that shit, it's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
I remember the guy I was dating when we were watching that. | ||
He was like, couldn't sleep. | ||
He was like, there's too much anxiety. | ||
I'm like, why'd you watch that before bed? | ||
It's hard. | ||
I can't even look at pictures of him. | ||
I watched an incredible documentary last night, by the way. | ||
I was going to bring this up to you. | ||
It's called the Anthropocene. | ||
How do you say that word? | ||
We're in the era, the epoch, the era, whatever it is, of human beings affecting the earth in a radical way. | ||
And there's a documentary that highlights it with these incredible visuals. | ||
And I watched it last night before I went to bed and it really kind of freaked me out. | ||
That's it. | ||
Anthropocene, the human epoch, and it's incredible. | ||
It's one of the most visually stunning movies I've ever seen in my life. | ||
It's just so wild. | ||
Where is that picture? | ||
Well, it takes place in a shitload of different places. | ||
I don't know where that mine is, but there's so many mines. | ||
It takes place in Russia and in Germany and in China and in Nigeria. | ||
There's a church in Nigeria in this movie that seats a million people. | ||
Yes. | ||
Super spreader! | ||
Dude, you can't... | ||
You cannot believe what this church looks like. | ||
And the point of bringing it up was that the church was having a negative impact on the land? | ||
No, it's just the massive amount of people in this area and how it went from having 200,000 people in this area to 20 million in two generations. | ||
And the impact that it's having on the environment is just staggering. | ||
Just mountains of trash. | ||
And they show these people in, I think it was Kenya, that were navigating these giant hills of trash. | ||
And they showed all these people working in mines, like digging into the ground and coming out with all this material and shit and how it's getting into the rivers and getting... | ||
Fucking crazy because they shot a lot of it with drones. | ||
So you get this visual of the actual scope of it all and the scale of it all as they fly over these enormous treatment plants and these enormous oil refineries in Houston and all these different things. | ||
You're like, holy fuck. | ||
You get to see all the crazy shit that people are doing to the earth. | ||
Did it make you want to take action? | ||
I don't know what kind of action you could take, quite honestly. | ||
Do you think getting a Tesla is the move? | ||
Well, not necessarily. | ||
Here's the thing about a Tesla. | ||
Teslas are awesome, and I love them. | ||
If I had one car that I could only drive ever, I think it would be a Tesla. | ||
Which one? | ||
The Tesla that I have. | ||
I have the Model S. It's fucking incredible. | ||
But what's incredible about it is the technology and the performance. | ||
It's like an iPhone, right? | ||
It updates, too? | ||
It does update, yeah. | ||
But it's just, they're so fast and they're so comfortable and smooth, but they're also made out of batteries. | ||
Like, where are you getting the batteries? | ||
You're getting them out of the fucking ground. | ||
You're tearing them out of the ground. | ||
And these strip mines and these Russian dudes that are drilling into the earth and creating these huge Oh, that's so scary. | ||
Yeah, that's in Kenya, where they have these mountains of garbage. | ||
I mean, I'm telling you, this film is amazing. | ||
I wish I was high. | ||
Now, did the population grow? | ||
I watched it sober. | ||
No, you don't think you would have gotten paranoid? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't mind if I get paranoid. | |
I stopped smoking weed recently, but I might start again. | ||
You want to start right now? | ||
No, I don't want to. | ||
You can smoke. | ||
I don't feel... | ||
It feels like it's like... | ||
My friend... | ||
Do you know Debra Digivani? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't believe she. | |
She is fucking hilarious. | ||
I'll send you some of her stuff. | ||
She's so funny. | ||
She's Canadian. | ||
She did not put a kazoo in her puss. | ||
But she was telling me because she had quit smoking weed. | ||
She was like... | ||
It felt like she... | ||
When she looks back on it, she felt like she was like trudging through mud. | ||
And she just felt like she'd got ankle weights off. | ||
And I was like... | ||
I do feel like that. | ||
I do sometimes I'm okay with weed, but I do sometimes feel like that. | ||
But I also... | ||
It's how you use it, right? | ||
I use it for my... | ||
I use it to write. | ||
I use it to put myself in a different mindset. | ||
But I go long periods of time without it. | ||
I go weeks without it. | ||
I think that's my... | ||
Once I can get over the sort of... | ||
Because I think I was smoking it addictively. | ||
I was like, oh, I want a thing. | ||
Rather than it's time to smoke weed. | ||
But I definitely... | ||
It's funny using the stuff I learned through Jim Fortin. | ||
I don't get paranoid anymore. | ||
I know how to not get paranoid. | ||
Well, that's good. | ||
This is a definite paranoia-inducing movie, but not paranoia. | ||
Put some more visuals up there. | ||
Let it play out a little bit. | ||
I wouldn't say paranoia as much as it's just realization of the scope. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Go full screen with this, because it's fucking bananas. | ||
The scope of the impact of human beings on the earth when you look at it the way they're showing it. | ||
See how it's all so much drone footage? | ||
They really did an amazing job of the cinematography and the direction, the editing. | ||
It's an incredible documentary. | ||
I mean, it really is incredible. | ||
Now, the place that you said the population grew that much, is that because of... | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's probably industry. | ||
I mean, I'm sure they do know why, but I don't know why. | ||
If they show, that's when they were burning all the poached elephant tusks. | ||
Oh my god, those are elephant tusks? | ||
Millions and millions of dollars worth of elephant tusks. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They showed that, you know, these people that are trying to fight off poachers. | ||
But to me, the wildest thing was, you know, the drone footage. | ||
When you see it from the sky and you get to see the scale of some of the things they've done, there's this farm, they were in Germany, and they were knocking down people's houses and knocking down these old churches to make more room for strip mining. | ||
And you see them knock down this old church. | ||
Doesn't that sound like a fun game? | ||
And then you see as they go up into the sky, you see how much land they've destroyed and how it just keeps pushing deeper and deeper and deeper by creating this strip mining. | ||
But they're like, whatever used to be there is now dead and devastated. | ||
And they've peeled the skin back on an orange and you just have the flesh underneath it. | ||
And where do the people go? | ||
They fucking have to move out. | ||
They're buying people out and, you know, there's a lady in it that was showing how, you know, she was like the last house on the street and then they're pointing to this house. | ||
This is the last one down the road. | ||
They just bought it and they were tearing it down. | ||
But they tore down this old fucking church and these people had apparently locked arms over the church and they were trying to stop them from doing it and they're like, fuck you, tearing it down. | ||
And they're tearing it down to make everything gross. | ||
Like, the church is beautiful and the area is beautiful, but It's this, like, short-sighted thing that people do when they can extract resources, they do. | ||
When there is a profit to be made, they make that profit. | ||
They go after it. | ||
What do we do? | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's really weird because this is a recent thing, right, in terms of, like, the history of the earth. | ||
It's the impact that human beings are having has really only been the last few hundred years and really radically the last... | ||
150 or so, but when you watch it in these films, it's fucking nuts. | ||
These machines that they have that they bore into the ground with, these enormous excavator machines, I mean, they're giant apartment buildings with, like, huge teeth that dig into the earth and scoop up all this shit and cut away the mountain. | ||
It's wild. | ||
It's a weird movie because you're like, whoa, we're fucked up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You don't think about how fucked up we are while you're being us. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But if you get to look at it like in a film that's really well done like that. | ||
Well, you know. | ||
You know it in your heart, you know. | ||
But that church with a million people, I've never seen a building like that. | ||
It's so big. | ||
It's like a hundred. | ||
That's it right there. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
This is hundreds of thousands. | ||
It's designed to fit a million people, apparently. | ||
If this is the same place. | ||
This is from 2006. I was trying to find that and got close. | ||
I thought it was in Nigeria. | ||
Can I pee pee and come back? | ||
There's articles about these mega churches as a booming business in Nigeria. | ||
Is Lagos a part of Nigeria? | ||
Okay, go ahead. | ||
Look at the size of that. | ||
Go back to that picture. | ||
Look at the size of that picture. | ||
Dude, that's insane. | ||
Do you imagine how hard you would kill on stage in front of that many people? | ||
Imagine murdering on stage in front of like a half a million people. | ||
unidentified
|
What the roar would be like. | |
They need to lower that ceiling, though. | ||
Make it, tighten it up. | ||
Yeah, it's crazy as you're scrolling down, you get to see. | ||
But the amount of money they must be pulling in, too. | ||
I mean, it's a lot of fucking people. | ||
But it also must cost a lot to keep it open. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
It's bringing in cash. | ||
Oh, of course it is. | ||
I mean, they've got fucking millions of people, man. | ||
That's a smaller one. | ||
I mean, how many of these megachurches do they have? | ||
I don't know. | ||
There's a list on the top that Google gave me. | ||
Just, there's... | ||
Wow. | ||
Oh my god, there's quite a few. | ||
These are all 10,000 or more. | ||
And these, really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, 10,000 is like Joel Osteen. | ||
Yeah, that makes it like an arena, but then you get over 30,000 and there's not really arenas bigger than that here in America. | ||
Stadiums there are, but... | ||
How many of the ones that are like hundreds of thousands plus? | ||
A couple, three, four. | ||
unidentified
|
Seems like, okay... | |
The Glory Dome. | ||
So they're in Nigeria, and then one of them is in Brazil, huh? | ||
Interesting. | ||
Salvation Ministries, Hands of God. | ||
Let's see what that looks like. | ||
Whoa. | ||
Oh, and he's back just in time. | ||
Salvation Ministries, Hands of God Cathedral. | ||
So there's a few of these that have close to, you know, have hundreds of thousands of people in them. | ||
Fucking crazy. | ||
But, I mean, where there's money, if you think about those Joel Osteen type characters, how much money does that guy make in a year? | ||
Let's take a guess. | ||
Ooh, a lot. | ||
And he doesn't get taxed, right? | ||
He's working for the Lord, baby. | ||
Why would you take his money? | ||
Take his taxes? | ||
Come on. | ||
That's fucked up. | ||
What's wrong with you? | ||
Listen, I love the Lord. | ||
You don't love the Lord as much as I do. | ||
I love the Lord. | ||
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
I wanted him to get that money. | ||
All that money. | ||
You wanted him to give some of it to the government. | ||
I wanted to give some to me. | ||
The government didn't preach. | ||
He preached. | ||
This one's live on YouTube right now. | ||
Is it really? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
How many people? | ||
It doesn't say. | ||
Look at this outfit. | ||
It is one of those megachurches. | ||
I like how long the thing is. | ||
And where is this one? | ||
It's somewhere in Nigeria. | ||
I don't know the exact. | ||
Go back to that video. | ||
Ota. | ||
See that guy rocking it? | ||
Can we get a little volume on here? | ||
I want to hear his skills. | ||
unidentified
|
It's never over with anyone engaging with God. | |
See? | ||
Perfect timing. | ||
That's all I needed to hear for the day. | ||
It's never over for anyone engaging with God. | ||
That's true. | ||
I always respond to his comments. | ||
That guy? | ||
No, I'm just saying engaging. | ||
To me it sounds like internet engagement. | ||
Oh, I get it. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Like if God leaves comments. | ||
Keep it together, bitch. | ||
Imagine if God said that to you. | ||
You'd be like, whoa. | ||
I'd be like, you're right, sir. | ||
Thank you. | ||
So much responsibility being God if you were leaving comments. | ||
I know. | ||
Because it's such a shallow way to talk to someone. | ||
It can be misinterpreted. | ||
There's got to be an account. | ||
You know how he sends someone a text message and they say something and you just go, thank you, period. | ||
And they go, are you mad at me? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm like, what? | ||
Why would you think I'm mad at you? | ||
Well, all he said was thank you. | ||
It seemed a little passive-aggressive. | ||
That period was really... | ||
Yeah, that period was heavy. | ||
No, that was a really, that was a heavy flow. | ||
I was saying to, I texted Bonnie something and she was like, oh, I was like, can you meet to talk about the movie? | ||
And she was like, yeah, well, let me know. | ||
I'm building a shed with Rich. | ||
And let me know when and I'll see if I can make it. | ||
And I went in all caps ago, you better not be mad at me. | ||
She's like, I'm not mad at you. | ||
There was just something about that boundary where I was like, oh no. | ||
You sound like you're crazy and needy. | ||
What's going on? | ||
No, I was having a weird week with that. | ||
Was this when you were reading Jim's book or following Jim's courses or no? | ||
Listen, I'm doing great and I'm a new person. | ||
I'm not even that person I was when I said that. | ||
Oh, you're reinventing yourself on the spot. | ||
Yes. | ||
How long ago was this? | ||
unidentified
|
Last week. | |
It was, you know, yesterday. | ||
Tuesday. | ||
Was it? | ||
No, but you're right. | ||
Yesterday. | ||
I know we're joking. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Sing to me. | ||
unidentified
|
All my troubles seem so far away. | |
What's this? | ||
What is what? | ||
Oh, it's a lighter for cigars. | ||
But it looks like a car? | ||
Or no, that doesn't look like a car? | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
I mean, I guess it kind of looks like a car. | ||
It does a little, right? | ||
But no, it's just a liar. | ||
See this part right here? | ||
That's where the... | ||
And that's for cutting cigars? | ||
Yes. | ||
unidentified
|
And this part right here is one of these things like trims a cigar. | |
I'm not sure how it works. | ||
It's a new one. | ||
Hmm. | ||
Interesting. | ||
And what's this? | ||
This trims the cigars too? | ||
Yeah, that's just trimmed cigars. | ||
That's all it does. | ||
Oh, here it goes. | ||
You cut your finger off of this thing. | ||
See this here? | ||
Put the cigar thing in there. | ||
It goes like that. | ||
That's very... | ||
So you have two things in one. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
And it's a car. | ||
It's ergonomic. | ||
Do you smoke cigars, Annie? | ||
You know, to be cool and fit in. | ||
Sometimes I try. | ||
When we're on that rooftop, I was trying and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing here. | ||
But I have brothers. | ||
I'll always try something. | ||
Did you like it? | ||
I thought it was okay. | ||
I would never go by myself and do it. | ||
Maybe just if you wanted to be one of the guys? | ||
I did want to be one of the guys. | ||
I have brothers. | ||
I don't pretend that's not my life. | ||
That's a weird thing, right? | ||
If you wanted to go to a cigar bar, be one of the guys, sit around, talk about sports. | ||
unidentified
|
Show up! | |
I'm like, listen. | ||
Grow up my mustache. | ||
Probably get a lot of attention. | ||
Yeah, but you know, I feel like I just like to try things anyway, so... | ||
Instead of maybe judging the trying to be one of the guys, I try to be one of the girls too. | ||
Just give it a shot. | ||
I like to just try shit out. | ||
Do you ever sit down and say, okay, this is some things I'd like to try. | ||
I'd like to try bungee jumping. | ||
I'd like to try race car driving. | ||
I'd like to try... | ||
Do you ever do that? | ||
Not really. | ||
I'm just open to when opportunities unfold. | ||
Because I have gone skydiving. | ||
I went with my friend Aaron and we would go on the date. | ||
She used to go with her dad and her dad passed away. | ||
So we'd go on his pass away date. | ||
And this year we didn't... | ||
Did you die skydiving? | ||
He didn't. | ||
Wouldn't that be cool? | ||
No, but they used to always go skydiving. | ||
It would be gangster of us to keep going. | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
No, he passed away. | ||
He had Parkinson's. | ||
But he... | ||
So we would go for that. | ||
And then this time she has kids now. | ||
And I remember feeling the first time we went, I did only go once, but when we went, I remember feeling like my whole life I've been waiting to go skydiving. | ||
This was going to be this amazing experience. | ||
And then I wasn't scared to death. | ||
I was looking for that Fear of death moment. | ||
You didn't have it? | ||
Really? | ||
I didn't because I was attached to the guy, and I just knew that they did it so often. | ||
I was like, this guy's not going to want to die, so he's going to do it right. | ||
Sometimes you think they get a little too casual. | ||
Maybe, but then on stage I was doing a joke about how I was underwhelmed by it, and how next time I want to go up, I want to go to a place with one star that has... | ||
And I want the guy to be like, there's two parachutes, one works, pick, you know? | ||
But then this guy in the audience came up to me, him and his wife, and she goes, oh, he's a skydiving instructor and he'll take you out and really scare the shit out of you. | ||
And I was like, um, maybe I don't mean that. | ||
And I never took him up on it because I was like... | ||
Yeah, what if he tried hard to scare you and wanted to die? | ||
Those guys die. | ||
Brian Redband, one of his dad's co-workers, was always trying to get him to skydive. | ||
Like, you should come skydive with me. | ||
Skydiving's awesome. | ||
Skydive's awesome. | ||
And then one day he showed up at work and they're not there. | ||
No. | ||
He's like, what happened? | ||
Parachute didn't open. | ||
Yeah, my dad's friend is a skydiver and he went into the hospital. | ||
I think he shattered a bunch of stuff and he stole skydives. | ||
Jesus. | ||
What happened? | ||
It didn't deploy or it deployed fucked up? | ||
I don't know the story, but also on the challenge, you saw... | ||
What's his name? | ||
With the hand... | ||
Jordan. | ||
Jordan. | ||
36 seasons. | ||
Yeah, 36 seasons. | ||
There's this guy, Jordan, who is a fucking gangster, okay? | ||
He was born with, like, two fingers on his hand, okay? | ||
So he competes in all these things with one... | ||
Well, he can still use it, but, like, pretty much one hand. | ||
But he did a... | ||
They had to parachute down. | ||
They had to skydive down, and his parachute didn't open, or he came down too fast, and he fucked himself up, but he still ended up doing the challenge, which is, like, three days, I think they do it, where they barely sleep, and it's just these... | ||
It's TJ Lavin hosted. | ||
Are you friends with him? | ||
I don't know who that is. | ||
Oh, he was a BMX dirt bike rider. | ||
My jiu-jitsu instructor, John Jock Machado, he was born like that. | ||
He only has one hand. | ||
One of his hands only has a thumb. | ||
These are the people that you see the shit they can do and then you're like, okay, I better get off the fucking couch. | ||
John Jock is one of the greatest jiu-jitsu players of all time. | ||
He won Abu Dhabi with one hand. | ||
Strangles the shit out of people. | ||
He gets that arm, the left hand, the one that only has a thumb, he slides that thing right under people's fucking necks. | ||
And you can't break his cable grip? | ||
Gable grip. | ||
Gable grip, I mean? | ||
Well, the way you gable grip is you only really need one good hand to gable grip. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know? | ||
I mean, you could easily grip someone like this. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he's, you know, choking people like this, where he's sliding it under the arm and then gripping his hands. | ||
But he's also, you know, he's been doing jiu-jitsu since he was a baby. | ||
Now would you compete in jiu-jitsu still? | ||
Not at this stage of my life. | ||
It's just asking to get hurt. | ||
And do you, like, spar and stuff still? | ||
Yeah, sure. | ||
Do you ever get hurt? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, I got hurt a couple weeks ago. | ||
What happened? | ||
Fucked something up my back. | ||
Is it still fucked up? | ||
It's a little weird. | ||
It's okay. | ||
But you don't regret it? | ||
But you know what it is? | ||
No. | ||
I think there's a certain amount of risk that you're going to take if you do stuff that's fun, that's physical. | ||
Physical things, especially like jujitsu or running hills. | ||
Kettlebell workouts or anything crazy like that. | ||
Kickboxing. | ||
It's fucking... | ||
You're putting a lot of stress. | ||
You're exploding. | ||
There's a lot of energy. | ||
A lot of explosive moves. | ||
They test all your tendons and muscles. | ||
But one of the things that I've realized is, like, I can't not get massages. | ||
I have to get massages. | ||
And I didn't get one for a year because of the pandemic. | ||
I basically didn't get... | ||
And then my back was so knotted up. | ||
But I got... | ||
Two serious deep tissue massages in a week, and it just kind of straightened up everything. | ||
How long are they? | ||
How long do you go? | ||
90 minutes. | ||
90 minutes. | ||
They beat the fuck out of you, too. | ||
You don't enjoy a second of it. | ||
Yeah, no, I've never... | ||
I hate massages that feel good. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Yeah, I don't like a soft massage. | ||
Nothing is more upsetting. | ||
I'm always like, give me the elbow. | ||
Nothing in the world. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
And I know about Waco. | ||
I know what happened there. | ||
unidentified
|
Surfing. | |
I'm not talking about the surfing. | ||
But yeah, no, I really, yeah, I like a deep motherfucking massage. | ||
But do you know the Dr. Cerno thing? | ||
Oh, that's that guy, the back pain guy? | ||
Yeah, where he's like, it's all repressed childhood rage, which is so funny. | ||
That's nonsense. | ||
But listen, that shit drives me fucking crazy. | ||
Because I'm going to just explain this right now. | ||
Saying that as an open general statement is so fucking stupid because people have bulging discs that push on their nerves and their fucking arms atrophy and their hands stop working. | ||
That shit's real, okay? | ||
It's not childhood memories. | ||
Some people, some people have back pain that's just stress and tension. | ||
Some people. | ||
But a lot of people have fucking serious spine injuries. | ||
The idea that... | ||
Oh, it's all... | ||
Somebody tried to explain it to me. | ||
I went, shut the fuck up. | ||
You should have him on here and have him try to explain it to you. | ||
That's the type of shit I want to see. | ||
No, I'd like to have him on with an actual spinal surgery. | ||
unidentified
|
Do it. | |
Do that. | ||
A guy who talks about... | ||
Okay, let me explain. | ||
This is a fucking metal cage we had to put on this guy's back because his spine was crumbling. | ||
And this is another guy who lost all use of his left calf because his nerves were pinched off. | ||
Like, he's right in some ways, and this is how he's right. | ||
He's right that some people carry so much stress and so much tension and that they sort of almost distract themselves with back pain. | ||
But then there's also legitimate significant injuries. | ||
And I've dealt with a lot of those fucking Looney Tunes because I had a bulging disc for like a long time. | ||
And I was going to a chiropractor before I knew that was nonsense. | ||
And this is how he told me that I didn't have a bulging disc. | ||
He pushed down on my head. | ||
No, I hate when they do the thing. | ||
They do nonsense. | ||
He was like pushing down on my head. | ||
He's like, nope, definitely. | ||
If that doesn't hurt, you definitely have a bulging disc. | ||
So I'm like, man, I need to go to a real doctor. | ||
And I finally went to a guy who deals with neck injuries, and he took me in for an MRI. And he's like, look, this is how your disc is bulging out and pressing. | ||
And you have disc degeneration, which means all the cushioning in between my spine, all of it was shrinking. | ||
And my height, I'm shrinking because these little discs are shrinking. | ||
And so it makes your back more irritable because there's no cushioning. | ||
Is that why people shrink anyway? | ||
Old people. | ||
That's why old people shrink. | ||
What's going on is their spine. | ||
The juiciness in between your discs, it all goes away. | ||
Think about... | ||
Here's your spinal cord. | ||
You have all these bones, and in between the bones, you have these discs. | ||
And these things, if you do... | ||
Especially wrestlers. | ||
Wrestlers, their backs are all fucked up. | ||
And a lot of jiu-jitsu guys. | ||
I have... | ||
Four friends with fake discs in their back. | ||
I know so many people that have their backs fused and necks fused. | ||
Does it help? | ||
It does kinda for now, but it's all for now. | ||
It's just letting you know the end is near. | ||
But my point is, anybody that says That it's all in your head is fucking crazy. | ||
That's a crazy thing to say. | ||
Because my friend Travis Luter, who is in here with Kevin Holland, who's his coach, he's an infamous jiu-jitsu guy, very famous. | ||
Travis is world-class, top of the food chain. | ||
He had to get his neck fused. | ||
He's got these bolts and screws in his neck. | ||
Can he turn his neck? | ||
It's kind of stiff. | ||
It's like this. | ||
But he still trains. | ||
He loves training so much that he just It really is so fun. | ||
I didn't really learn that much about the sport. | ||
I don't know any of the fighters really, but I just went to class as the exercise and learning the things. | ||
And just as it is like doing math problems on a body is how it felt. | ||
It was really such a fun fucking workout. | ||
And the risk of getting hurt makes it a little bit more exciting. | ||
It is a little exciting in that regard. | ||
But there's ways to mitigate it. | ||
There's ways to mitigate it. | ||
And that's one of the things that I work really hard on is like strengthening my neck and strengthening my back and strengthening all of the different muscles that protect all that area. | ||
Like I have this reverse hyper machine now from Sorenx that I use. | ||
And then I have like this iron neck thing that I do. | ||
Well, I've got a fucking halo on my head with a bungee cord. | ||
I'm doing this shit. | ||
And that's why my neck is so thick. | ||
Yeah, it really is. | ||
It's all these kind of exercises. | ||
This is a new... | ||
This has happened over the past, what, 10 years? | ||
Yes. | ||
Your neck popped? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, that's when I really got into... | ||
Well, it was more than that when I really got into jiu-jitsu. | ||
But I really got into strengthening my neck after the neck injury. | ||
So that was like... | ||
I really fucked it up around 2009-ish or 2008-ish, somewhere around then. | ||
It was bad. | ||
Like, my hands were going numb. | ||
Oof. | ||
It was a real problem. | ||
And I didn't understand why. | ||
And it just... | ||
That's the thing. | ||
You can't go to chiropractors for these things. | ||
You have to go to a real doctor. | ||
Here's the other thing, because real doctors always want to cut you. | ||
They're like, you need surgery! | ||
They always say the worst thing. | ||
Well, not all of them. | ||
I don't want to generalize, but I did. | ||
Too late. | ||
Some doctors are awesome. | ||
I got really lucky that the doctor that I went to, one of them wanted to do surgery. | ||
The other one was like, I think you should try biological treatments like stem cells. | ||
I found out about Regenikine and then I had this Regenikine treatment done and that cured me up. | ||
That fixed my bulging disc. | ||
And how do they do it? | ||
It's an injection or what? | ||
It's your own blood. | ||
They take your own blood and they spin it in a centrifuge. | ||
It's like platelet-rich plasma, but they add a bunch of stuff to it. | ||
I forget how exactly that works. | ||
You're going to catch me spinning a tampon like, is this how it works? | ||
I don't think that's... | ||
And then they inject it directly into the areas because it produces this incredible anti-inflammatory medicine from your own blood. | ||
How fast does it work? | ||
For me, it was two weeks. | ||
I had this bulging disc and it was painful. | ||
My elbow would hurt out of nowhere. | ||
But it was because my disc was pushing against the nerve. | ||
And so the stem cell regrows the juicy part? | ||
unidentified
|
Well, that wasn't stem cells. | |
That's not stem cells. | ||
That's Regenikine. | ||
Regenikine, again, it's like a platelet-rich plasma thing. | ||
The stem cell shit that I've gotten, I've gotten that in my knees, I've gotten that in my shoulders, I've gotten that in my back. | ||
I'm just like a science experiment. | ||
That's cool. | ||
But it works. | ||
I mean, I'm 53, and I still work out pretty much exactly the same way. | ||
Like, everything I do, I do pretty much the same way I did when I was 25 or 35 or even 45. And I'm almost 55. I'll be 55 in a couple years, which is crazy. | ||
I thought I was going to catch you on a weird lie that you were 54. I'll be 54 in August. | ||
It's not that far away. | ||
I'm basically 54. When's your birthday? | ||
August what? | ||
11. I'm going to come up with a really good present to get you. | ||
Ooh, I'm excited. | ||
What do you get the king? | ||
I'll come up with something really good. | ||
A hug. | ||
But anyway, the point is, not everybody has access to all this stuff, right? | ||
It costs a lot of money to do all these treatments. | ||
How much can you say? | ||
How much it is? | ||
unidentified
|
It's a lot. | |
It's like tens of thousands of dollars for all these different things that I'm doing. | ||
For each, like, injection type thing? | ||
Yeah, it's fucking expensive. | ||
The Regenikine's expensive. | ||
And it's multiple treatments, too. | ||
There's pictures of me getting Regenikine, like, on my back online with these fucking, like, these needles in my back. | ||
And then they squirt the blood into these little holes. | ||
How long does it take? | ||
When do they take the blood to when they put it back in you? | ||
I think it's like a 10-hour process. | ||
And do you stay at the place? | ||
No, you go the next day. | ||
So they'll draw your blood and then they'll do it either the next day or, you know, following days, whenever you have the time. | ||
unidentified
|
That's so interesting. | |
I really like, the thing I always think about is I have TMJ. That's like a thing I've had since I was a kid. | ||
And whenever you go to a doctor, they're like, oh, it's stress or whatever. | ||
And you're like, it's fucking stress. | ||
What do you mean it's fucking stress? | ||
What exactly does TMJ mean? | ||
Now, TMJ is actually the name of it. | ||
It's the trigeminal. | ||
Yeah, it's, I don't, I can't pronounce. | ||
I should know what it is. | ||
But Jamie, if you were. | ||
Too much jizz? | ||
Yeah, it's too much jizz. | ||
Yes, yes, yes, yes. | ||
Temporomandibular. | ||
Temporal. | ||
It's the name of the joint, but it's actually a TMJD, which is the disorder. | ||
Temporomandibular joint. | ||
So TMD. Can I actually make that smaller, please? | ||
Smaller so we can all read the whole thing? | ||
What are you doing? | ||
Jamie, what the fuck? | ||
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
I'm zooming out and it's not going. | ||
Oh. | ||
What the fuck? | ||
What the fuck, bro? | ||
TMJ disorder is a type of temporomandibular disorder or TMD can cause pain in your joint. | ||
Let's find out with the treatment. | ||
Let's see. | ||
How do you relieve it? | ||
Let's see the treatment. | ||
I've tried like acupuncture. | ||
Imagine if it was just sucking dick all day. | ||
That's the only way. | ||
I would, you know, they tell you not to. | ||
There was like a list when I went to this one TMJ clinic. | ||
And they were like, don't chew gum, don't do this, don't do that. | ||
And I posted it and added, don't suck dick. | ||
Mayo treatment? | ||
Go to Mayo, you add it? | ||
There are times. | ||
I've had boyfriends that were, it's really like, I'm so sorry, we're not compatible. | ||
Because of that? | ||
My jaw will start clicking. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Listen, feel your jaw, observe the range of motion. | ||
Okay, they're not saying anything. | ||
What's the treatment? | ||
Care. | ||
Scroll down. | ||
There's nothing down there. | ||
Doesn't say anything? | ||
There's really, it's like... | ||
Pain relievers. | ||
Antidepressants. | ||
What? | ||
Because it's like a tension, for me at least. | ||
It was like I grind my teeth at night. | ||
It's bruxism. | ||
So it's a tightened jaw at night. | ||
I do exercise with my jaw. | ||
unidentified
|
You do? | |
I have this rubber thing that I bite down on. | ||
I put it in my teeth and I go like this. | ||
I... Yeah, no, I've seen those. | ||
I think because I already have it out of place that that's bad for me. | ||
I think I need to get like, I've been looking into, what do you call them? | ||
What kind of doctor? | ||
Cranial sacral doctor? | ||
Voodoo? | ||
Is that voodoo? | ||
They don't voodoo on you. | ||
Is cranial sacral not a real doctor? | ||
No, it's like these chickens. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm like, yeah, I thought you know everything. | ||
I've never heard of that. | ||
But like, I think I need to do something where they expand my palate and my teeth and kind of like can adjust it. | ||
But you know what worked for me and I got to get back into? | ||
I did breath work and that is the only thing that has gotten my... | ||
My tense, like, depression. | ||
I think it is. | ||
Well, I used to get so pissed when the doctors would say it. | ||
It's like, it's your tension. | ||
I'm like, fuck you, it's not. | ||
And I'm like, oh, maybe it is. | ||
To answer your question, because there's even a question, if it's legitimate, it might not be. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Oh, maybe? | ||
It says there needs to be more evidence. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
What? | ||
Plenty of anecdotal evidence that it's CST. What is CST? Craniosacral therapy. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Effective treatment, but more research is needed to scientifically determine this. | ||
Evidence that it can release stress and tension. | ||
Some research suggests that it may only be effective in infants, toddlers, and children. | ||
Does CBD work for you? | ||
Does that reduce inflammation? | ||
CBD, I never really got too into, but maybe now with my Kill Cliff. | ||
CBD, 25 milligrams. | ||
Yeah, that's not enough. | ||
I mean, this is great for, you know, just overall. | ||
If you have any CBD advice, let me know. | ||
I do, yeah. | ||
I'm a big believer in CBD. I'm a big believer in anything that you can do that reduces inflammation. | ||
Inflammation is the cause of a lot of ailments in people. | ||
A lot of sicknesses and disease comes out of inflammation. | ||
And a lot of it is the diet that people eat, the bad foods, but inflammation in your jaw like that, I wonder if there's exercises that are good. | ||
Oh, Jamie's got something. | ||
CBD oil can relieve the pain caused by TMD by easing muscle tension and reducing inflammation. | ||
The best benefit of CBD oil is its direct pain relief by applying the oil directly to sore areas. | ||
You can experience pain relief in just minutes. | ||
Some patients also choose to vaporize the oil during inhalation. | ||
Yeah, there you go. | ||
See exercises. | ||
I hate taping. | ||
What is that fucking thing that I use? | ||
That Jawsercise? | ||
Yeah, it's called Jawsercise. | ||
I've seen those. | ||
Those are cool. | ||
I have big ass jaw muscles now. | ||
These things are here. | ||
Oh my god, imagine I come back looking more like Brett Butler each day. | ||
But these muscles have 100% gotten bigger. | ||
But I have, like, one is stronger than the other. | ||
Sometimes I get massage... | ||
Have you ever gotten anyone to give you a jaw massage, like, on the inside? | ||
That feels fucking wild. | ||
It's wild. | ||
Yeah, it's really weird. | ||
They put those little finger cots on. | ||
I know, they're in your mouth. | ||
Very weird. | ||
I'm like, while you're in there... | ||
Stretch your mouth down. | ||
While you're in there, I'd like to... | ||
Can you help me with my gag reflex? | ||
Help me out, Doc. | ||
I'm like, hey, that's not your finger. | ||
Yeah, I was reading about this guy that got molested by his massage therapist and he didn't realize that he was getting molested by a male massage therapist. | ||
He thought it was normal for the guy to put his fingers in his asshole. | ||
Yes, my friend just had that happen. | ||
Yeah, like, what? | ||
He's like, listen, you gotta trust me. | ||
I'm just gonna put my fingers in your ass. | ||
It's fucking crazy. | ||
And massage your prostate and everything. | ||
And he was like, what? | ||
And so this guy just was letting this guy basically just molest him. | ||
Yeah, probably felt kinda good. | ||
It probably did feel good. | ||
He was like, oh, I do feel a release. | ||
Imagine if he got hard and then he just... | ||
He probably jizzed. | ||
Maybe. | ||
He's like, my mouth will actually help with the... | ||
Ah, that's it. | ||
No, but I definitely... | ||
Your mouth will help me. | ||
We'll help each other. | ||
Why are you Mark Normand? | ||
Oh, I'm not. | ||
I'm gay. | ||
I sucked his dick. | ||
unidentified
|
Hey, and that's what I did. | |
I had to do it. | ||
But yeah, no, I've gotten, I, whenever I've gone to just these like whatever massage places, you know, that cost like 20 bucks. | ||
Exactly. | ||
I mean, when they go for your butt cheeks first and your asshole is getting like cold air going into it, you're like, Oh no, I'm getting one of these fucking massages. | ||
unidentified
|
You're looking at my asshole. | |
Why? | ||
My asshole should not have cold air coming into it. | ||
Clean, cold air. | ||
And then you smell their breath on your asshole. | ||
Oh my god, it's unbelievable. | ||
They're blowing. | ||
Oh no, they're warming it up. | ||
But there was one I got where this guy left the room. | ||
And you know how they're supposed to just expose one body part at a time? | ||
There was just no... | ||
I go, dude, you gotta put the fucking blanket on me. | ||
And it's such a weird thing. | ||
It's such a like... | ||
I don't know if it's like PTSD or whatever, but it's like... | ||
I just get quiet and don't say anything. | ||
I tip the guy. | ||
I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
Why don't you have girls do it? | ||
Well, that's what I've learned. | ||
But I always wanted to get the guys because they would do it harder than the girls. | ||
Oh, you can just get a fit gal. | ||
I've got to get a fit gal. | ||
I've got to be like, have you done Jawsercise? | ||
Have you used the thing? | ||
I'm going to grab your clit with my teeth, but trust me. | ||
Like, there it is. | ||
It's hanging. | ||
I'm going to put my whole hand up your ass, and I'm going to bring you Nirvana. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Jessie Mae did like she repeated it someone else had already done it but she was doing like a fake kettlebell workout and she was like doing a squat with the kettlebell and then she had like her she edited so that was like her hands were in her pants like it was like labia or something picking up the kettlebell. | ||
Do you know what I'm talking about? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It was so gross and so funny. | ||
Women do do that you know. | ||
In real life? | ||
Yeah, they have this world record pussy clamp lady from Russia. | ||
She carries plates with her pussy. | ||
Yeah, so she's got like a ball on a string. | ||
She shoves that ball into her snatch and then clamps down with her pussy muscles and the string hangs down and she clips weights to it. | ||
And she's there squatting. | ||
unidentified
|
She has it in her pussy and she's letting all the men know I'm here to make you comb forever. | |
Break your dick off. | ||
unidentified
|
You'll never stop combing with me. | |
Angelica has the pussy. | ||
I just went to her page. | ||
Did you see this thing she posted? | ||
Yes, that guy. | ||
So horrific. | ||
I've seen that in the past. | ||
And by the way, you can see that Russian lady opening for me at Dead Crow. | ||
This guy had bolts stuffed into his ass cheeks and then bungee jumped from them. | ||
I like those pants. | ||
But I mean, what kind of a person? | ||
Just what's the point of this? | ||
What happened to his life? | ||
They're hanging from the ass meat. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
Look at this. | ||
I mean, how does it not rip off first of all? | ||
I mean, he's hanging from the meat of his ass cheeks. | ||
unidentified
|
And he's like, I did it! | |
Look at that. | ||
Look how it's, like, connected to his ass cheeks. | ||
When I used to live in Santa Fe, there was this whole kind of, like, circus-y type crowd there. | ||
And there was, like, a guy who had, like, traveled in the circus. | ||
I wish I could remember his name. | ||
But he hung a cinder block from his... | ||
I went to this party up in the, like, in the mountains, like, these rich people in Santa Fe. | ||
I was probably 20, 19 or 20. He hung a cinder block from... | ||
I'll tell you because I want to tell you the whole story. | ||
So the whole party was, do you remember the show Real Sex on HBO? Yeah. | ||
So they had done an episode where they came, there were these like oil, these like lesbian oil wrestlers. | ||
I think they were lesbians. | ||
I think they were. | ||
Oil wrestlers that would, that they came and did a piece on. | ||
So then it was the premiere of that and I somehow like had a fake ID and met all these people and they invited me up to this house. | ||
How old were you? | ||
Like 20, maybe 1920. And then I had some fun in Santa Fe. | ||
God damn, I love that town. | ||
But So I went up to this party that they were having, which was the premiere of their episode of Real Sex. | ||
And I remember I was like topless on a... | ||
They had a bed of nails. | ||
Like, does anyone want to do it? | ||
And me and my gay friend were like, sure! | ||
And we were just up there having fun. | ||
And so I laid on this bed of nails. | ||
And then this guy came up and he hung a cinder block off his dick. | ||
He had a, I think, a piercing. | ||
And then they did... | ||
They pierced people's backs and they were like suspending them. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
Yeah, it was really weird. | ||
That's right out of the... | ||
They used to do that in... | ||
What Native American tribe was it? | ||
There's a movie, A Man Called Horse, with... | ||
God, I forget the old dude's name. | ||
unidentified
|
Famous Scottish guy. | |
Sean Connery? | ||
No, Richard Harris. | ||
It's an amazing movie. | ||
They would go, I believe it was the Lakotas, they would put a cut in their chest plates and they would hang them. | ||
Is this a white man playing this? | ||
Did they whitewash this character? | ||
No, it was supposed to be a white man in the movie. | ||
It was Richard Harris, A Man Called Horse. | ||
So it was basically a movie. | ||
I forget what the ritual's called. | ||
It's not the ghost dance. | ||
Are they doing that as a punishment, Tim? | ||
No, no, no. | ||
It's a rite of passage. | ||
Men would do it and they would proudly show their scars, like really fucked up scars. | ||
The really tough guys wanted it to rip through their muscle tissue so you'd see these huge scars on their chest. | ||
Sounds like a boob job to me. | ||
I'm really pretty sure it was a Lakota thing. | ||
Yeah, but this is the movie. | ||
But suspension, just go, just Google Native American suspension ritual. | ||
See, also dances with wolves. | ||
American Western to portray the Sioux as a protagonist. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
So that was the Sioux, I guess. | ||
But the Sioux or the Lakota, I'm sorry, what am I talking about? | ||
Fucking moron. | ||
That's what it means. | ||
Sioux means Lakota, what, savored hearted? | ||
I try to say it as, I try to mean it when I say it. | ||
Wait, what is this? | ||
That's the girl that holds weight for the pussy. | ||
Look at that booty, too. | ||
She's got really strong ass muscles because of it. | ||
Well, she likes to have a tight booty grip on the cock as well. | ||
Look at her. | ||
Aw, cutie. | ||
She does kind of look like the girl that opened for me. | ||
I don't like that. | ||
That's not even impressive. | ||
Either go hard or go home, okay? | ||
If you see, like, a guy who's a powerlifting champion, but he's got a little pink dumbbell in his hand, I'm not impressed. | ||
But here she is. | ||
31 pounds. | ||
You should get her with one of those, like, um... | ||
unidentified
|
This is my record. | |
31 pounds of pussy power. | ||
One of your, um, kettlebells you should get her in. | ||
Yeah, look at her. | ||
That's amazing that she can do that, though. | ||
Look at those weights. | ||
She's getting it right up in the old cooter. | ||
Oh, pop. | ||
There it is. | ||
Smell it. | ||
I know. | ||
What does it smell like? | ||
Like, ma'am, I think you might have bacterial vaginosis. | ||
Ma'am, you should get that checked out. | ||
Did you have a fish fillet? | ||
What is this? | ||
Well, not only that, it's probably like an unnatural amount of sweat and strain. | ||
Wait a second. | ||
When you did the election thing, you were eating a fillet of fish. | ||
Is that your move? | ||
That's your McDonald's choice? | ||
For McDonald's, that's my move. | ||
It's my favorite too. | ||
It's a fucking fish stick. | ||
Thank you. | ||
It's really good. | ||
Tastes good. | ||
I like it. | ||
It's terrible for you. | ||
I know. | ||
It's probably barely fish. | ||
It's probably something that knows fish. | ||
I know. | ||
It's like trimmings and shit all mushed out into that weird square. | ||
It tastes so good though. | ||
But was that like, that was just, did Tim bring, how did that happen? | ||
I think we had someone go out and get food. | ||
And you're just like, fuck it, let's do McDonald's. | ||
Well, I think we were drunk. | ||
And so Tim wasn't, Tim's sober. | ||
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
He's very sober. | ||
Really? | ||
He used to go hard in the paint. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Yeah, he was... | ||
I never heard hard in the paint, that line, but I understand. | ||
You never heard hard in the paint? | ||
Yeah, I never did. | ||
It's a very common term. | ||
But Tim used to go hard. | ||
He used to party way too hard. | ||
A lot of coke. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then he'd go, okay, can't do this anymore. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but we indulged in some terrible food. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And that's my move. | ||
When I would come home from the store, if I was feeling really like, fuck it, I would go to McDonald's and get filet of fishes. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I watched that episode with Whitney in her gym. | ||
We were working out in her gym, watching you guys. | ||
And she was like, who won? | ||
I still don't understand. | ||
She kept texting. | ||
She's like, what happened? | ||
Whitney's like doing content. | ||
She's like, Joe! | ||
Who won? | ||
No one knew who won. | ||
That was the thing. | ||
Do you know they're still contesting the election? | ||
It's so crazy. | ||
I was watching something about it today. | ||
They're still contesting the election. | ||
Apparently there's some recount going on right now in Arizona. | ||
Is that real? | ||
Like in some audit of the... | ||
No, I'm telling you. | ||
I think it's real. | ||
Here we are in fucking... | ||
What is it? | ||
June? | ||
I have no clue. | ||
It's June. | ||
I'm a comedian. | ||
I don't know what month it is. | ||
June. | ||
Yeah. | ||
June 14th. | ||
Oh, it's my niece's birthday! | ||
Flag day. | ||
Happy birthday, Reese. | ||
She's not watching. | ||
unidentified
|
She's a child. | |
One of the girls? | ||
Nine, yeah. | ||
Nine years old. | ||
One of the girls that was in that video? | ||
Yep, my baby. | ||
Oh, that's cute. | ||
I love her. | ||
I love them so much. | ||
I'm so... | ||
My nephews are so cute. | ||
I'm just so... | ||
Lucky. | ||
I'm just so grateful. | ||
I love them. | ||
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
That's a great attitude. | ||
Did you learn that from your friend Jim? | ||
No, I knew that ahead of time. | ||
Okay. | ||
But I do, I'm very easily able to get into a peaceful state if I imagine my nieces and nephews hugging me. | ||
You spent a lot of time with Whitney over the pandemic. | ||
Oh my God, it was so fun. | ||
You were basically living in her place for a while, right? | ||
I wish. | ||
Oh my God, I was living in a construction zone coming to her house. | ||
You were just going over there? | ||
Oh, I thought you were living there. | ||
No, but we were there a lot. | ||
It was so fun. | ||
God. | ||
And then I got a puppy, and she loved my dog. | ||
We just had such a fun time. | ||
You guys did a few podcasts together, but you never did a group podcast together. | ||
That is a missed opportunity. | ||
I know. | ||
You two together would be a fucking amazing podcast. | ||
I would love to do it. | ||
I mean, she's just, listen, she works so hard on her, on Good For You, and I think it's such a good podcast. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
And I will re-approach her about doing a podcast, but I do think she might be too busy for it. | ||
But I would love to do one with her. | ||
I think you two together have a special chemistry. | ||
You're both so ridiculous and the two of you together would be so funny. | ||
You know what it is? | ||
We're not worried about being like humiliated. | ||
I think we will just like do whatever. | ||
That's part of it. | ||
Yeah, for sure. | ||
But it's just the chemistry. | ||
It's like you two as friends. | ||
It's a fun friendship. | ||
Like having you two on the podcast together was hilarious. | ||
It was so fun. | ||
Well that was kind of the beginning of us getting really close. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
Like, we were friends, and I would call her about stuff, and she would call me, but it was, it wasn't, we got really tight after that. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Yeah, and now we have our chat thread, which we talk every day. | ||
Yeah. | ||
All three of us. | ||
That's a great chat thread. | ||
It's so fun. | ||
Yeah, release it on my Patreon. | ||
Just kidding. | ||
unidentified
|
Can you imagine? | |
Whoa, Jesus. | ||
Can you imagine? | ||
unidentified
|
I didn't mean it. | |
There's some government official reading those things. | ||
We should move it over to Signal. | ||
There definitely is. | ||
Yeah, we definitely should move it to Signal. | ||
For some of the more risque links. | ||
When I found you on Signal and the first thing I read, I was like, where can I buy DMT? That's crazy that you guys became close after that podcast. | ||
We were friends, but she's like my soul sister. | ||
I just really fucking love her. | ||
She's a very unusual person. | ||
I appreciate her. | ||
Me too. | ||
I really, really do. | ||
But I just think the two of you guys together, it's a fucking wicked combination. | ||
And you definitely should do something together. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If she has the time, I mean, I don't want to be the guy that tells, oh, you got to do this, but I just think, like, you guys together, like, when I'm with Duncan, all right, Duncan is my Whitney in that regard. | ||
Like, when he was here the other day, I was like, dude, you and I together are so much better than I am by myself. | ||
It's like, me and him together, it's a magic thing. | ||
I go, let's do one a week. | ||
He's like, I can't! | ||
I can't live in Asheville, man! | ||
But he's coming out here, and he's going to come out here for a month. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
What month is that? | ||
I can't tell you. | ||
You might tell people. | ||
Well, whenever you tell me, I'll come out for that month, too. | ||
He wants to come out here and look around. | ||
I go, dude, move here. | ||
Sell your fucking house. | ||
It's too cold in Asheville. | ||
Yeah, get out of there. | ||
Asheville is so beautiful, though. | ||
It's gorgeous. | ||
God, is that a beautiful place. | ||
But I'm telling him, you should live here, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Just live here most of the time. | ||
You don't want to be there in the wintertime. | ||
Right. | ||
But that's how I feel about this place, too, when you were, like, moving out. | ||
I'm like, I just plan on being here a long time. | ||
Like, Tony was like, you're not gonna do Kill Tony. | ||
I'm like, Tony, I'm gonna be out here all the time. | ||
Like, I'll be back. | ||
You'll be back. | ||
Yeah, I love it. | ||
Well, I'll have news, and I can give you some news after the podcast about the opening of the club, because I have some solid fucking options now. | ||
And things are coming together, finally. | ||
It's a long story, and one day I'll tell the whole thing, but the nightmare of trying to get a building and put together a club has been crazy, but a lot of monkey wrench stuff. | ||
It's like some parts I can't tell because I'm a nice person, and I don't want to throw anybody under the bus because it'll be super obvious who I'm talking about, but I'll tell you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But once it's up and running, I'm going to do my level best to make it the most accommodating and comfortable place for comedians. | ||
I will tell you, I know you had told me some stuff, some of your plans, and after Tony's incident, everyone's now bagging phones. | ||
What a heavenly situation it is to do a show with people's phones bagged. | ||
I mean, it really does feel so fun. | ||
People are so much more attentive. | ||
Yeah, it's just, it's so, it's great. | ||
And I, you know... | ||
I saw on Dig the other day some guy was getting roasted because he was using his phone while his wedding vows were being read. | ||
He's literally being married. | ||
The priest is saying his stuff and he checks his phone. | ||
That's me and Whitney. | ||
And people are like, bro. | ||
That's me and Whitney at our wedding. | ||
But people are fucking addicts. | ||
I'm... | ||
This close, this close to getting a fucking flip phone. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think I'm going to take this and just leave it somewhere all day and just have a flip phone where you have to call me. | ||
And if you text me, I'm going to call you back. | ||
Right. | ||
I'm not, you know, I'll read your text, but I'm not, I just... | ||
I feel like we're too fucking vulnerable. | ||
It's too easy to get sucked into these things. | ||
If I'm sitting here and I'm bored for five seconds, I go, hmm, let's check YouTube. | ||
And I'm watching some stupid fucking video that I don't really care about. | ||
And then you're sending it to me and Whitney and making us fucking watch it. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
Do you see that video that I sent you with a girl? | ||
I didn't watch it yet. | ||
Okay, wait. | ||
Some of those are great. | ||
Some of those are great. | ||
But also what's great is just living. | ||
One time when I was in Hawaii, I broke my phone. | ||
It was weird. | ||
It was a crazy break. | ||
I dropped it and just started randomly calling people. | ||
And I should have made a video of it because it was kind of crazy. | ||
I'd be like, look. | ||
And I would hold it up. | ||
I held it up to my wife. | ||
I'd go, watch this. | ||
And then just, beep, it just starts dialing. | ||
And I'd hang up. | ||
And then it just, beep, starts dialing to someone else. | ||
That's so sad. | ||
People were so excited. | ||
They're like, Joe Rogan's calling me? | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
It was people that I knew, but I don't think they were that pumped. | ||
But it was just randomly going through my contacts and dialing people. | ||
And then I would swipe out of it, and it was like, nope, fuck you, we're calling people. | ||
It was just calling people. | ||
It was wild. | ||
And so then it eventually just stopped working altogether, and I just shut it off. | ||
But I couldn't get it to stop calling people. | ||
So even when I was calling people, it was trying to hang up. | ||
It was going nutty, so I got a new phone. | ||
But I ordered it online, and then I had to pay for it to get shipped, but I was in Lanai. | ||
Or Lanahi, if you want to say it the way they do. | ||
Thank you. | ||
I don't want to culturally appropriate the language. | ||
So it took three days to get it to me. | ||
And during that time, I was in bliss. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There was no phone. | ||
I was just wandering around, just existing. | ||
And I was like, this is better. | ||
This is a better way to live. | ||
Like this whole checking Twitter all day and checking Instagram and checking YouTube and what's going on in the news. | ||
I would check the news app. | ||
Oh, and then that happened. | ||
Oh my god, the news app is such a fucking nightmare. | ||
It's such a nightmare because it sucks you in. | ||
And if you curate it, right? | ||
Like, I want all news about, you know, I'm into technology, so it's all technology news or car news or sports, like fighting, and it's like, that's all it's giving me, and it's just like, uh, uh, uh. | ||
You're just feeding your fucking head with nonsense. | ||
Yeah, because it knows what you want and knows what's going to distract you and knows what's going to get you sucked in. | ||
Just feeding your mind with nonsense. | ||
I know. | ||
But it also is fun. | ||
I'm always like, I'm going to figure out one day a schedule where it's like I just post my stuff and then I put it away. | ||
I think my move is to have that as like an extra phone and have a flip phone as like a real phone. | ||
How many phones do you have? | ||
I'll tell you off the air. | ||
I have quite a few numbers. | ||
Like, I have email addresses and a lot of other shit. | ||
Well, Whitney, texting your... | ||
Whitney? | ||
Like, okay, by the way. | ||
So, first of all, everyone's always like, stop name-dropping Whitney and John. | ||
I'm like, I talk to these people every day. | ||
Sorry, they're not your friends. | ||
But so, Whitney... | ||
Joe changed his phone number. | ||
Am I allowed to say that? | ||
Okay, changed his phone number. | ||
And he goes, delete the old number. | ||
Just use this number. | ||
Whitney, that fucking bitch, she texted your old number every day for like 12 weeks. | ||
I blame the ketamine. | ||
unidentified
|
That was her ketamine phase. | |
And then she goes, oh my god, we have to stop. | ||
I go, bitch, I will have your back on a lot of things, but I have not texted that number once. | ||
She, for whatever reason, didn't delete it. | ||
And I gave her the number. | ||
I'm like, this is the number. | ||
Go to your phone. | ||
Delete that one. | ||
Don't use that one anymore because I don't carry it anymore. | ||
If that thing's in a drawer, I pull it out once a week to see if there's anything really important. | ||
And it's just always Whitney. | ||
It was Whitney like 30 times. | ||
I was like, Jesus, fucking ketamine. | ||
Because I know ketamine is like, I think it's a disassociative. | ||
It is a disassociative. | ||
Yeah, which is like, she's disassociating my number and just fucking just making random phone calls. | ||
She was on that shit a lot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
She offered it to me. | ||
She's like, you want to try it? | ||
She offered it. | ||
I was on it for a little while too. | ||
Then I got an ulcer. | ||
I was like, I think I'm good. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
I don't need this. | ||
I don't need to disassociate anymore. | ||
There's a place that's opening up out here that does ketamine IV drips. | ||
No, I think that's—I'm not knocking that. | ||
I think that's something that could really help people. | ||
It can really help people. | ||
But you need it regulated. | ||
But apparently, it's mind-blowing. | ||
Apparently, like, Neil Brennan did it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He said—because I go, what is it—I go, you're going to—because he was doing a lot of other things, right? | ||
Because Neil's had some issues with depression. | ||
He's pretty open about it. | ||
And he was doing a bunch of different stuff. | ||
And then he said to me, he goes, I'm going to do ketamine therapy. | ||
I go, that's legal? | ||
You're going to Whitney's house? | ||
This was years ago. | ||
I go, is this legal? | ||
He goes, yeah, apparently. | ||
I go, well, how much do they dose you up with? | ||
He goes, well, I can't imagine it's a lot. | ||
Oh, wrong. | ||
They strap him to a chair like he's a mental patient and shove a fucking needle in his arm, and they gave him an IV drip of ketamine, and apparently it was like a full-blown psychedelic dose, and he goes, dudes, I am in this doctor's office, and I am fucking tripping balls. | ||
I go, like, real tripping? | ||
He goes, like, gone. | ||
I couldn't believe how strong it was. | ||
It's an insane dose they give you. | ||
But they're monitoring you and watching you and making sure you're okay. | ||
And then they talk it through with you and everything. | ||
I guess, yeah. | ||
I mean, but I don't know what ketamine is like. | ||
Did you have a blowout experience? | ||
I never... | ||
No, I didn't go into a K-hole. | ||
Maybe when I was in high school when I was doing it. | ||
I mean, I used to do it at parties. | ||
It was like a rave drug. | ||
But what does it do to you? | ||
What does it make it feel like? | ||
I feel like a cloud. | ||
Like, the night we did the rooftop thing, Whitney gave me some of her... | ||
I was... | ||
I was like, Whitney. | ||
She was like, just do two squirts in each nostril. | ||
Two squirts when you're talking to Jay Leno? | ||
I was fucking high as shit. | ||
I was trying to get off that fucking roof. | ||
I was like, I'm a cloud. | ||
I'm a cloud. | ||
I'm a cloud. | ||
I just was like, everything was just soft. | ||
I was like, oh my god. | ||
I mean, it felt great. | ||
Remember when Jay Leno's fixing Whitney's zipper? | ||
There is a picture. | ||
I got a video. | ||
There is a picture. | ||
Whitney's crotch zipper broke. | ||
She's like, Jay, can you fix this? | ||
And Jay's like, okay. | ||
His face is just in her crotch. | ||
That is so funny. | ||
But in all fairness, it was not his idea. | ||
It was not. | ||
It was Ketamine Whitney. | ||
She first had her pink hair. | ||
This was the beginning. | ||
It was the beginning or the end. | ||
It was when she was first starting the trip. | ||
Yeah, God, she really is. | ||
But she was laughing so hard. | ||
I know. | ||
Now I know she's on ketamine. | ||
I mean, honestly. | ||
I know, I thought I was killing. | ||
I was like, I just thought I was funny. | ||
unidentified
|
You were funny. | |
It was funny. | ||
That was a fun time. | ||
Anytime comics can get together like that and just talk about what we do. | ||
Because it's a weird thing to do. | ||
And it's like, not everybody approaches it the same way. | ||
And it helps to have, like, one of the best things about the store was it helped to have all those other comics around that were our peers that we could hang with. | ||
You know, like that back bar. | ||
I know. | ||
The back bar's not open yet. | ||
It's not open yet. | ||
What? | ||
Why isn't it open? | ||
It just isn't open yet. | ||
Is it COVID? Yeah, they still... | ||
I don't know what they're doing. | ||
How does that make any fucking sense? | ||
I don't pay attention to any of those rules. | ||
How does that make any fucking sense? | ||
Well, it just kind of feels like if people want to get vaccinated, they got vaccinated, and now let's just move forward. | ||
It's people's choice. | ||
The rates of people getting it now are so low. | ||
The rates of hospitalizations are so low. | ||
You're worse off if you have the flu now. | ||
It's like there's so few people that are getting it now. | ||
I just tapped out. | ||
And they understand how to treat it. | ||
And then there's treatments like ivermectin and if you understand vitamins. | ||
I hope more people use a preventative approach from here on out and take care of their body. | ||
God damn it. | ||
A big part of what happened with this, so many people I know that are really healthy got it and it was nothing. | ||
Because your immune system is fucking strong. | ||
That's not outside. | ||
For some people it is. | ||
Some people obviously have pre-existing conditions and medical issues. | ||
I'm not talking about them. | ||
I feel for them. | ||
I get it. | ||
But the rest of the people that are just normal, healthy folks, this is your chance. | ||
This is your wake-up call. | ||
Get your fucking body together. | ||
Take care of it. | ||
Stop pumping shitty food into it. | ||
Laura bites this shit, alright? | ||
Look at what she did. | ||
She's a monster. | ||
Did we just do Freaky Friday, bitch? | ||
I gained weight, you lost it? | ||
What the hell is this? | ||
She's a monster. | ||
She's so fucking disciplined. | ||
She's like ripped now. | ||
You know what? | ||
She did always have it in her because she is so structured with her comedy and she works so hard. | ||
I remember going, I was laughing with her about this because I was helping her go shopping for her David Spade outfit two years ago or whatever, and it was before she lost the weight. | ||
And I was like, oh, you should wear this outfit. | ||
And she goes, I can't show my arms. | ||
She goes, Annie, my arms have never looked like that, like yours. | ||
And I went, yeah, but mine have looked like yours. | ||
And now they do. | ||
I was like, you know, I work out. | ||
This is when I was doing yoga and jujitsu every fucking day. | ||
So I was like, I was working. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, you can get back to that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I started doing yoga again. | ||
I'm doing hot yoga again. | ||
Yeah? | ||
Hot yoga's awesome. | ||
They allow that? | ||
Do you have to do it with a mask on? | ||
You have to do it with a mask on, but it actually doesn't... | ||
It's not bad. | ||
It actually helps you breathe. | ||
It's not bad. | ||
Do you smell farts with that mask on? | ||
No farts, but you do smell your own nasty-ass breath. | ||
It's very early that I took my class. | ||
unidentified
|
I know, right? | |
You get it in the mask, and it just bounces back at you? | ||
That's why you gotta have a fresh mask each time. | ||
You don't wanna be smelling that shit. | ||
Do you use the paper ones? | ||
Those are the best. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, I was using... | ||
Yeah, I don't... | ||
You know what I like about them? | ||
You know it's bullshit. | ||
It's like people with bandanas on. | ||
They're just playing the game. | ||
Oh, the bandanas are really like... | ||
They're hilarious. | ||
You're just playing a game. | ||
I'm a bandit. | ||
And then I like how people keep them around their necks so they look stylish. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And then they pull it up and they have to. | ||
Well, it's like all the bike messengers were always wearing them. | ||
Some people get mad at you, though. | ||
You can't wear the bandana. | ||
It's not good enough. | ||
Like, airplanes wouldn't let you have the bandana. | ||
Are people still mad, though? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Some people are. | ||
Some people are just looking for an excuse to be mad. | ||
They're excited about it. | ||
You know? | ||
I'm excited that this is coming to an end. | ||
We're getting back. | ||
Being on the road is so fun. | ||
How amazing are the shows? | ||
It's been great. | ||
It's so amazing. | ||
But I feel like I'm just getting my stage legs under me over the last few weeks. | ||
And then I did a show Friday night in Arizona and it felt normal. | ||
But it still feels like I've got to work. | ||
It's like not having those 8-10 months of steady work. | ||
It's like you've got to get back in shape again. | ||
You've got to get your stage legs back. | ||
It's fun though. | ||
I feel like a new, fresh start. | ||
It feels great. | ||
I do too. | ||
But a lot of my material is not new. | ||
So a lot of my material is from the last year and a half or so before the pandemic. | ||
Do you feel weird saying it? | ||
Is it hard to resonate with it now? | ||
No, it just needs to be, I wrote about it last night, I need to overhaul some stuff, get rid of some stuff. | ||
Some stuff is just like having the wrong impact. | ||
It's like, I'm doing this bit about offensive words, and I'm like, I feel like I need to restructure it. | ||
But there's a lot of things like that. | ||
So many of the bits that turned out to be some of my best bits, there was a point where I was ready to give up on them. | ||
I was like, this is not coming across the right way, or people are misinterpreting it, or I'm not doing a good job of expressing it. | ||
And then you just got to kind of step away. | ||
And then I like to take it and put it down on index cards and just look at it and just stare at it and think about it. | ||
Like, what am I doing What am I trying to say? | ||
Maybe I need to rewrite the whole thing from scratch like it never existed. | ||
Like this version of the bit doesn't exist. | ||
I know I already have that. | ||
That's already written. | ||
Let me rewrite it. | ||
Rewrite the whole thing. | ||
Maybe there's a better way to do it. | ||
Because sometimes it's like you're losing a certain percentage of the crowd with the way you're saying something that you don't have to lose. | ||
And you can get them all or you can get a lot more of them if you just restructure things. | ||
It also, for me, I know the discipline of knowing where each word is is good, but I also feel like I get very robotic when I do that. | ||
So if I just go, this is the joke, this is the premise, and then I just redo it, then I'm saying it in a new way. | ||
I'm fresher. | ||
The audience is kind of hearing a new thing. | ||
Even though when I restructure things, I still give myself the ability to free ball on stage because you have a feeling when there's too many words to something and you don't know until you're up there. | ||
Or maybe a feeling that maybe you need more words. | ||
Or maybe you need to look at it from other people. | ||
Stanhope said something once that really resonated. | ||
It was always a great idea. | ||
He said, I look at my bits like I'm a prosecuting attorney. | ||
Like I'm going after those bits for being fucked up. | ||
Or I'm going after those bits for being lazy or something like that. | ||
I was like, oh. | ||
That's awesome. | ||
That's a great perspective. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Well, it's like how science is trying to prove themselves wrong. | ||
Yes. | ||
The good ones. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I love Doug Stanhope. | ||
You guys talked about me on this podcast and it was very, very nice. | ||
It was so sweet. | ||
I haven't met him yet, but... | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, I met all his friends. | ||
He's the nicest. | ||
Yeah, I want to go to Bisbee. | ||
Would you go with me? | ||
No. | ||
Not into Bisbee? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
That place is ridiculous. | ||
Let's bring him here. | ||
Yeah, bring him here. | ||
Do a show. | ||
I'll fly him out. | ||
It'll be so fun. | ||
Yeah. | ||
When do we get to fly private, Joe? | ||
When do you want to? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Where can we go? | ||
What can we do? | ||
Oh, we'll figure something. | ||
Want to work with me on the road? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Want to do a gig? | ||
I would love to. | ||
Okay, we'll do some gigs. | ||
Can we go to Hawaii or Vegas? | ||
Well, I'm booked in Vegas already. | ||
I'm doing MGM with Chappelle and Segura. | ||
Wow. | ||
Oh, all three of you? | ||
Yeah, nobody knows the Segura until now. | ||
I spill the beans, whoopsies. | ||
There you go. | ||
Yeah, July 8th and 9th. | ||
Oh, cool. | ||
We're doing the MGM. That's cool. | ||
And Donnell's going to be there, too, and I don't know who else. | ||
I fucking love Donnell. | ||
I love Donnell, too. | ||
I told you he got me my start in comp, pretty much. | ||
Really? | ||
He put me up when I was fresh. | ||
I had just done two open mics. | ||
I just quit drinking. | ||
My friend went to school with Esther Koo that I was living with, and Esther Koo was like... | ||
I forgot about Esther. | ||
You want to be a comedian? | ||
She goes, I'm going to Ashley Larry's party. | ||
So I went to a Super Bowl party at his house, talking to one of his friends. | ||
One of his friends was like, oh, you're funny. | ||
Are you a comedian? | ||
I was like, well, I just started or whatever. | ||
And he goes, Donnell, put her on your new show. | ||
And he goes, are you ready this Monday? | ||
And I go, I'm not really ready. | ||
And he humiliated me in front of everyone. | ||
He was like, go hard or go home, bitch. | ||
And I was so embarrassed. | ||
And then I went. | ||
And then he started putting me up every Monday. | ||
I went on the road with him. | ||
I love him. | ||
He's the best. | ||
I saw him when I was here last time. | ||
He was at the Vulcan. | ||
And I waited until after a set, and I was like, hey. | ||
And he was like, bitch, why did you not come on stage when I was on stage? | ||
I didn't even think about it. | ||
But he was like, you should have come up. | ||
He and I and Dave and all the people that opened when we did the stub shows, that was a real bonding moment because that was the height of the pandemic. | ||
Everybody was freaked out and we were testing hundreds and hundreds of people for every show. | ||
Every show we did, we tested the entire crowd and we did it outside and they all had masks on. | ||
But it was at the point in time where people were really freaked out and we put it together and we had a good time and a bunch of them. | ||
Wind up getting COVID. But I didn't. | ||
I know. | ||
I'm so happy I didn't get COVID. Yeah, you made it through. | ||
I'm really happy about that. | ||
I'm happy no one in my family got it. | ||
But you're a healthy person. | ||
You take care of yourself, you know? | ||
Yeah, but who knows? | ||
I mean, if stress gives it to you, then I could have gotten it. | ||
Yeah, if you don't have any sleep, you know, and you're not taking care of yourself. | ||
I mean, I got a fucking ulcer. | ||
But I don't think that... | ||
I think that one of the things they think about ulcers, I think they think it might have to do with gut bacteria. | ||
Well, I think I was having, like, I was definitely having acid reflux. | ||
I was having GERD, which is so... | ||
GERD? GERD? Is there a dirtier name for anything? | ||
GERD. Did you just fart? | ||
GERD? No. | ||
Did you hear a fart? | ||
That was probably me, like, laughing a little bit. | ||
Jamie farted and was trying to pretend he was laughing. | ||
I don't smell it. | ||
Maybe it's GERD. It was some GERD, but it's like you have acid reflux when you're sleeping and it wakes you up. | ||
You choke on your own bile. | ||
It's horrific. | ||
That's what GERD is? | ||
Yes! | ||
Okay. | ||
Gastroesophagal... | ||
Medieval reflux disease or GERD is a digestive disorder that affects the ring of muscle between your esophagus and your stomach. | ||
This ring is called the lower esophageal sphincter. | ||
Oh, you got a sphincter in your mouth. | ||
Yeah, that mouth sphincter. | ||
I've had a sphincter in my mouth. | ||
Find out, are ulcers caused by gut bacteria? | ||
I definitely was eating bad. | ||
This was like in the height of the pandemic. | ||
I was like stress eating. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ulcer gut bacteria theory. | ||
Here it is. | ||
It's a type of bacteria that enters, after many years they can cause sores called ulcers in the lining of your stomach. | ||
So it's a type of bacteria that causes ulcers, but it doesn't mean that all ulcers are caused by bacteria. | ||
I got tested for the H. pylori and I didn't have the H. pylori. | ||
But I was shitting black. | ||
I was shitting fucking black. | ||
Look at this. | ||
So it is bacterial species. | ||
Click on that. | ||
Okay. | ||
Helicobacter pylori, commonly called H. pylori, is a type of bacteria that infects the stomach and small bowel. | ||
It was discovered in 82 by Australian researchers who also found that it causes peptic ulcer disease. | ||
Peptic ulcers are open source in the lining of the stomach or the upper part of the small intestine. | ||
That's what I am. | ||
Do you take kombucha or probiotics or anything along those lines? | ||
Yes. | ||
Do you? | ||
No. | ||
Yes? | ||
No? | ||
No. | ||
Do you want to? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, anybody can. | ||
Okay, I can do it. | ||
unidentified
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It's not that hard. | |
Yeah. | ||
Do you like kombucha? | ||
Kombucha, yeah, it's good. | ||
unidentified
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I love it. | |
It's only alcohol I drink. | ||
Yeah, if you get the real shit, like the GT's kombucha, the ones that you have to have an ID to get. | ||
Is that a relapse, though? | ||
For someone to quit drinking? | ||
I don't think it can be. | ||
I get wasted on kombucha. | ||
That's so hilarious. | ||
What an L.A. way to get drunk. | ||
Right. | ||
You'd have to drink a gallon of it to catch a slight buzz. | ||
I think it's like one half of one percent. | ||
Like, the amount of kombucha you'd have to drink to get drunk? | ||
Like, what's the strongest kombucha you can get? | ||
I bet they have, like, beer kombucha where you get it and it'll actually get you lit. | ||
Definitely. | ||
Right? | ||
unidentified
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They do, right? | |
Yeah, I was already typing that. | ||
I was going to type that there's, like, weed kombucha, too, which you can get high instead of... | ||
I am not eating any of that shit. | ||
There's a place that I found in Arizona that serves weed pizza. | ||
I'm like, you can eat shit. | ||
I'm not eating weed pizza. | ||
I know they have the weed chefs that come in. | ||
But the thing is, who knows what dose that is? | ||
You get fucking crippled with paranoia. | ||
You're in an ambulance. | ||
If you don't expect it, and you get hit with some crazy weed... | ||
Yeah, there's a hard kombucha that says it's 4.5, which is its average beer, I think. | ||
Is that average beer? | ||
I mean, I think even higher. | ||
No. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Canadian beer is like nine. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
What's the limit in Utah? | ||
That's like four or something. | ||
Yeah, it's like Utah beer. | ||
unidentified
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Okay. | |
Bitch-ass beer. | ||
In Utah, they used to have it where if you bought alcohol in a mixer, you had to buy them at separate spots. | ||
You had to buy your alcohol. | ||
Why? | ||
Because it's ridiculous. | ||
I guess it's hard kombucha, so it's made to be alcohol. | ||
It's like gluten-free beer when you're like, come on now. | ||
No, alcohol in Utah is weird because it's like they want to make money and have commerce, but they also want to uphold their weird Mormon rules. | ||
I had a friend who was a Mormon, and he's like, you can't have coffee, you know, in my religion. | ||
But meanwhile, this motherfucker would carry a monster energy drink everywhere he went. | ||
They are delicious. | ||
They are good. | ||
But he would drink like four or five of them in a day. | ||
I go, dude, you know how many fucking milligrams of caffeine you're taking in? | ||
And he was like, hey. | ||
Well, they're just finding like loopholes, right? | ||
Because it's whatever. | ||
Yeah, that's exactly what it was. | ||
Well, I've never been to Utah, but I am going to be in Salt Lake City. | ||
Utah's awesome. | ||
Doing shows, which I'm excited about. | ||
Why are you there? | ||
I'm there next month in July. | ||
The dates will be on my annieletterman.com. | ||
They're up there right now. | ||
Can you get those on your Instagram, Annie Letterman? | ||
You know, you can. | ||
You will be able to tomorrow when this airs. | ||
Oh, excellent. | ||
You will have them. | ||
They will be in my stories. | ||
What are those stories when they're the circle and you keep the stories? | ||
Oh, you save them. | ||
Save stories. | ||
Yeah, I'll put them in save stories. | ||
So they will be up. | ||
But do you have a schedule of where you're going that's up on your actual Instagram so people can see that? | ||
unidentified
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I don't. | |
You should get a graphic made. | ||
You know what I found? | ||
That when you have the graphics, it doesn't go out. | ||
What do you mean it doesn't go out? | ||
When they see the words on it and the algorithm, they don't give it to you because they want you to buy ads. | ||
unidentified
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What? | |
But I'll make one up if maybe one of my really successful friends wants to post about it. | ||
Yeah, but it's there. | ||
You have hundreds of thousands of followers. | ||
Yeah, but it just will only get seen by like... | ||
A few thousand. | ||
What? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's real? | ||
Yeah, I mean, that's how they control the feed, to make money. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Explain that. | ||
I mean, it's built towards small businesses, but because you, other than our small business, you know, can be a comedian promoting yourself. | ||
They don't want... | ||
I've had to deal with these uploading them. | ||
It'll notice if you have... | ||
It's not the amount of text, it's where the text is and how big it is. | ||
So if it's taking up 10% of the picture, it will just not go out into the feed unless instantly, you know, 10% of your people like it, comment on it, share it themselves, bookmark it, do all these things. | ||
They want you to pay to set it up. | ||
Oh, so if you do that and you want to promote it, you'd have to get a promoted ad, and then it would show up as a promoted ad. | ||
But people get grossed out by those. | ||
Yeah, and I don't want to do that. | ||
I mean, if I have to, I'll do it. | ||
But, you know, who knows? | ||
Maybe people repost it. | ||
But if you just put it there, at least people that go to your page will find it. | ||
Are you trying to repost it? | ||
No, I would never do that. | ||
I'm not desperate. | ||
I'm not a desperate person. | ||
I'm not a desperate person. | ||
Yeah, okay. | ||
AnnieLetterman.com. | ||
Go there. | ||
No, but I'll post it. | ||
Yeah, no, I will post it. | ||
I'll have it up and I can put, if I put it in the stories with links and then I can put it in one of my saved things. | ||
Do all that shit. | ||
I will. | ||
Do all that shit. | ||
I will. | ||
unidentified
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Annie Letterman on tour. | |
I'm just so fun. | ||
It's so fun. | ||
I'm just like loving it. | ||
I'm excited for you. | ||
It's so nice because when we first met, you were in the fucking, the heat of the struggle, kid. | ||
You know? | ||
I was living on my car and shit for the second time. | ||
Now you're ballin'. | ||
I feel great. | ||
I'm very excited. | ||
unidentified
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That's awesome. | |
You deserve it. | ||
It's so fun. | ||
It's just such a different experience when you do weekends. | ||
Are you coughing because I drank the water and you can't drink it? | ||
No, I drank coffee before this stuff, and it's got a lot of phlegm stuff in it. | ||
This must have some sort of milk or something in it, because I keep doing that. | ||
Goddamn, this is delicious. | ||
It's so good. | ||
Black rifle coffee. | ||
Your espresso 300. But there's such a difference. | ||
Like, do you even remember when you would perform and they didn't know who you were? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
It's so hard because I'm such a specific, you know, myself. | ||
So it's like a lot of people aren't going to like me, which is totally fine. | ||
But it's to do to do these shows where most of the audience is just people that are like, let's take the family out to a comedy show. | ||
And then I'm like, like, oh, God, it's just such a different experience when people know who I am. | ||
It's just so fun. | ||
I don't think it started happening to me. | ||
Well, when it happened to me, it was actually a trick because they knew me from Fear Factor. | ||
So it's really kind of a dirty trick. | ||
Some people knew me from my stand-up. | ||
I was selling out some clubs. | ||
I would do really well in some places back before Fear Factor, like when I was on news radio. | ||
But even maybe then they liked me from news radio. | ||
Maybe some people saw me because of that and then maybe liked my comedy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it wasn't until after Fear Factor that people started coming to see me specifically, knowing what I did, and that took a while. | ||
It was during the beginning of the podcast days, like in 2009, that it really started to take off. | ||
That was when I started doing big theaters. | ||
And people start to really invest in who you are, and they're just excited to... | ||
You know this from doing your own podcast and doing all the other podcasts you've done. | ||
People, you're in their head in this weird way. | ||
They know you. | ||
People come up to me like, dude! | ||
And I'm like, hey, what's up? | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
And then I slam them into a wall and ask for a hundred bucks. | ||
That was one of the funniest things, honestly. | ||
Our little thing. | ||
That was so funny. | ||
Every time I would see him, I'd be like, hey, keep a little something for yourself. | ||
Joey's like, what are you doing? | ||
And I was like, Joey, do not laugh at the fucking joke, Joey. | ||
It's a funny joke. | ||
It was a funny joke we were doing. | ||
No, thank you so much. | ||
I'm very grateful. | ||
That was very helpful back then. | ||
I'm so happy that I don't need that anymore. | ||
No, I'm happy you don't need it. | ||
I knew you weren't going to. | ||
There's certain people that you just know. | ||
You just know. | ||
You already had the most important thing. | ||
You were already funny. | ||
It was just a matter of the rest of the world figuring it out and you putting in the time and developing a real act. | ||
That's all it was. | ||
I always say that to people that are struggling in the beginning. | ||
I always go way out of my way to tell them that. | ||
I'm like, you already have it. | ||
You got the thing. | ||
You're fucking funny. | ||
You know who's fucking hilarious? | ||
Brian Simpson. | ||
Oh yeah, he really is funny. | ||
Holy shit is that dude funny. | ||
Holy shit, is he funny. | ||
He has something coming out, I don't think I'm allowed to tell, but you'll know who he is. | ||
You'll know who he is soon. | ||
He's a fucking monster. | ||
We did a bunch of shows at Creek in the Cave and at Vulcan. | ||
He's one of those guys. | ||
I told him, I'd go, dude, you're going to be fucking huge. | ||
You're going to be huge. | ||
Because his premises are so clever. | ||
His delivery is fantastic. | ||
He murders. | ||
And he's got the most important part, which is like, some people are really good at marketing and they're really good at putting... | ||
He's just a murderer. | ||
Just a murderer. | ||
And it's just time. | ||
It's just time before everybody figures it out. | ||
And honestly, he's one of the products, I think him, Lara Bites, I would say myself too, like those late night spots of the comedy store where you just get to kind of perform to so few people, but you really get to figure your shit out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And the comedy store process actually really does work for you. | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
And then you just start getting, like now they're giving me such good spots. | ||
It's so fun. | ||
The process works, but also, what also works is that boiler room of all those other comics around you that are killers. | ||
Like, you're doing a show, and Jesselnik's on the show, and this person and that person. | ||
All these killers. | ||
You're just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. | ||
All these people that are murdering. | ||
And you go on stage after them, and you have to kind of keep that same energy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's a big factor. | ||
It's really fun. | ||
Well, when Tommy was doing it, he used to put me in between killers when I was very new. | ||
Wow, I don't want to do it. | ||
Tommy knows where to put you. | ||
He'd go, I'm going to catapult you up. | ||
And then Adam came in and I was right back to the bottom, but I worked my way up. | ||
You sound a little bitter. | ||
I'm not bitter. | ||
That's okay. | ||
No, I'm grateful. | ||
I really honestly feel very happy with my trajectory. | ||
Well, you should. | ||
You're fucking hilarious. | ||
I feel like I've got time to figure it out. | ||
You'll be on the top of the food chain in just a couple. | ||
I guarantee you. | ||
100%. | ||
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
Fucking hilarious. | ||
And you're awesome. | ||
I love you. | ||
I love you, too. | ||
Thank you so much. | ||
I might have missed my plane, but it was worth it. | ||
Fuck your plane. | ||
All right. | ||
AnnieLetterman.com. | ||
Annie Letterman on Twitter. | ||
Annie Letterman on Instagram. | ||
Instagram is my favorite. | ||
She shows her butt. | ||
I don't show my butt too much. | ||
Sometimes it peaks. | ||
unidentified
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Goodbye, everybody. | |
Bye, guys. |