June 11, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:03:35
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Welcome to episode 1,666! | ||
| Welcome to episode 1,666. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There can be only one. | |
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's the rules. | ||
| Them's the rules. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a terrible rule. | |
| That's like the worst rule. | ||
| But for episode 1666, there was only one option. | ||
| That was you. | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| I'm honored by that. | ||
| Thank you so much, Joe. | ||
| It's so nice to be here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, it's so nice to see you. | |
| You're such a good friend that every time I see you, I'm transported Like, there's no time lost. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| When you're so tight with someone... | ||
| That when you see them again, you're like transported. | ||
| Like you're immediately back to where I last saw you again. | ||
| There's no like, hey, God, haven't seen you in a while. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| It's like, ah! | ||
| Yeah, that's real friendship. | ||
| I mean, that's it. | ||
| If it's not that, what is it? | ||
| I'm super concerned about this wig catching fire. | ||
| We're surrounded by candles and I believe this wig is flammable. | ||
| Yeah, that wig is from China. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| That could be some bizarre synthetic. | ||
| That could be anything. | ||
| This is the hair of a billionaire who said the wrong shit. | ||
| No shit, and they just scalped him. | ||
| They probably made him grow his hair first. | ||
| They probably kept him in a tunnel somewhere and made him eat rats, whatever rats he could catch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just gave him hair vitamins. | ||
| And then when his hair was long enough to make a wig out of it, they let him go. | ||
| That's a lot of work to get some hair. | ||
| Yeah, now all he does is coach John Cena. | ||
| His job is to coach John Cena on what to say. | ||
| Dude, that was weird. | ||
| That was really weird. | ||
| That was one of the weirdest things. | ||
| I'm not a fan of, or not a fan of John Cena. | ||
| No John Cena opinion, but that was just an odd... | ||
| It was scary. | ||
| Because they want, it's a lot, I guess it's just a lot of money, man. | ||
| The Chinese dollar, it's Here's how much money it is. | ||
| Ready for this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That movie made $160 million the opening weekend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I believe $134 million of it was from China. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| We got to get in. | ||
| Let's do our apologies to China. | ||
| I need to learn Mandarin and start talking shit Mandarin. | ||
| Just saying... | ||
| Start doing my act in Mandarin. | ||
| It sounds cool. | ||
| It sounds great. | ||
| Well, amazing. | ||
| The most impressive thing about that video was not just that China got John Cena to cuck, but also that John Cena speaks perfect Mandarin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long did that take? | ||
| It's a mystery. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It was just strange. | ||
| That's like... | ||
| That's some really really the most it's again like you know we're watching that fight oh my god when we're watching that fight last night and you're just watching it and you're trying to make sense of the new reality you know because it's like you got to accept it but he's wearing a pikachu medallion Fighting like the best boxer alive today, you know? | ||
| But you have to watch it from the perspective of like, well, this is what is happening now. | ||
| Because otherwise you get this weird spinning vertigo. | ||
| Like, what the fuck universe am I in? | ||
| Same thing when you're like watching John Cena do some... | ||
| Weird apology in Mandarin. | ||
| It's this sense of like, what? | ||
| This is a malfunction. | ||
| This is a breakdown. | ||
| I don't get this. | ||
| When in the history of the United States, imagine some old video of John Wayne doing some apology in another language. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| It is weird, but it's a warning to everybody, right? | ||
| The people that don't, they're not taking this sort of cultural shift seriously. | ||
| When you see an enormous alpha male in John Cena, John Cena's arms are so big, it looks like they're supposed to be a foot longer, but someone sawed them off and put like a fist Here. | ||
| It's like if my forearm went down only to here and then the fist was there, his wrists are enormous. | ||
| He's such a gorilla, right? | ||
| And to see that guy saying it in Chinese and you read what he actually said, it's hard to say, right? | ||
| Because one thing, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| I was like, what did he actually say? | ||
| Because I don't speak Mandarin. | ||
| I wish someone maybe that spoke Mandarin could translate it and tell me whether or not that was accurate. | ||
| I'm assuming it was accurate because I haven't heard anything... | ||
| You know, people who speak Mandarin must have gotten a hold of it since then. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But it was just weird to see an apology for just saying that a country exists. | ||
| That's essentially what it was, right? | ||
| He said, Taiwan is a country. | ||
| And he said that... | ||
| I mean, that's all he said wrong. | ||
| Taiwan was going to be the first country to see the movie. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| You can't say that, which is bullshit. | ||
| You know, also that thing that just popped up, they said it was a mistake, but Bing apparently made it so that if you image search, the Tiananmen Square guy holding the suitcase didn't show up on the day of, on the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre. | ||
| And so everybody's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Just like, are you, are you like owned by China now? | ||
| You know? | ||
| That is a really strange form of invasion, isn't it? | ||
| It's like, it's not the normal kind of invasion. | ||
| We're thinking about invasions from old historical versions of invasions, but that's not how it works anymore. | ||
| Now it's, you know, if you get your technology into another country, if you become the supplier of a lot of their pharmaceuticals, all these things, then you don't really need to invade. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If you've bought up a lot of their property... | ||
| You don't need to fly with jets. | ||
| Because you're buying it. | ||
| To me, that's where countries like the United States, what makes them so amazing is also this huge... | ||
| Terrible weakness, which is they have a permeable membrane. | ||
| Shit can get in there easier than other places, you know? | ||
| And, like, especially now with the ability to, like, just have a thousand AI bots running various Twitter accounts expressing... | ||
| Kind of similar sentiment regarding whatever the fuck it is you want to promote? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| That's crazy! | ||
| You could just warp people's minds any way you want. | ||
| I mean, you know, we have no... | ||
| I'm not just talking state agencies either. | ||
| I mean, just cobbles of, like, anarchists who feel like just fucking around with the zeitgeist could theoretically just... | ||
| Put out a shit ton of bots or phone banks of people, putting weird ideas into the culture that, you know, you hear it enough times, you start thinking, like, I guess that is true. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That must be true. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever had the thing happen where you're just scanning Twitter and you see some completely wrong, like, deeply wrong Fact and physics, but you were just shitting or something. | ||
| So you're like, well, that's interesting. | ||
| And then later you repeat it without looking it up to see if it's true, and then you go back to see it. | ||
| This happened. | ||
| I mean, you realize like three tweets above that tweet, it's like the guy's like, I'm the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're like, oh fuck! | ||
| I repeated some fact I heard from a guy who thinks he's the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe literally at dinner! | ||
| You know, that's what I'm saying is it leaks out. | ||
| And so it's just trippy, you know? | ||
| It's just weird to imagine that, like, what country are we even in the United States anymore? | ||
| It's confusing because we're really governed by money. | ||
| When we have no money, we have nothing. | ||
| If we run out of money, all bets are off because we don't have money to fix the roads, we don't have money to keep the grid up. | ||
| So we have to have a certain amount of money. | ||
| And one of the things that became abundantly clear during COVID was that we rely on a lot of other countries to make our stuff. | ||
| When they were running short of certain supplies, and medicine even, they're like, hey, how come we don't make this? | ||
| We don't self-sustain. | ||
| And it made a lot of people think that, oh, I need to get a garden. | ||
| I need to have food in my house. | ||
| I need to be self-sustaining. | ||
| The same way a country needs to be like that, but much like the country. | ||
| As soon as we start getting the gears of industry back rolling and moving, we forget. | ||
| Oh, the grid's back on? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Like out here, the grid went out for a whole fucking week, man. | ||
| Nobody had power. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| The streets were covered in ice. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| And everybody was like, dude, that's it. | ||
| I'm going to start storing food, and I'm going to start... | ||
| But then as soon as the power goes on, you've got to go back to work. | ||
| Most people forget. | ||
| And I remember when they banned Huawei... | ||
| When you couldn't buy Huawei phones. | ||
| And this is why, because I'm a phone dork. | ||
| I'm really into phones. | ||
| I spent a lot of time on YouTube watching MKBHD and watching Lewis from Unbox Therapy and watching Flossie Carter. | ||
| I really enjoy watching the technology of phones increase in this really crazy way. | ||
| I'm fascinated by it. | ||
| I don't necessarily understand why, because when I look at the applicable uses in my life, like, how much do I use my phone? | ||
| Like, all the capabilities of it. | ||
| Very little. | ||
| I text my friends, I'm like, watch a YouTube video, take a picture of something. | ||
| I don't do a lot of shit with my phone. | ||
| But I'm fascinated with these goddamn things. | ||
| I'm fascinated by where they go. | ||
| And I was going to buy a Huawei, I think it was like a Mate 10 Pro Porsche edition. | ||
| I was trying to figure out how to get it to work in America. | ||
| Because they work on like, you got to make sure that one works on the right CDMA, because they have like different systems overseas and other countries. | ||
| So I was trying to find out how to buy this, and Porsche Design was making the dopest phone. | ||
| And I was interested in doing this, and then all of a sudden I started reading on these forums, they're going to take it down. | ||
| They're going to not allow Huawei to sell anything in America, because we caught them Doing stuff with routers or some shit. | ||
| I don't remember the whole story. | ||
| But I remember thinking, whoa, when have you ever heard that before? | ||
| Where they said, hey, a company can't sell shit in our country because we think you're compromised by the government of your country and you're sneaking in. | ||
| Not just like, oh, they hacked into a router and now they got all the Facebook data. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, the whole company You can't sell shit here anymore. | ||
| You can't sell their phones anymore. | ||
| They were about to go, I think they're gonna be on AT&T and all these other big providers. | ||
| It's like what happened, I can't remember which president it was, but remember that president? | ||
| I think it was the Russians. | ||
| These cute kids came in and presented the president with some kind of gift from Russia. | ||
| I think he hung it up on a wall or something. | ||
| And it had a bug in it. | ||
| It was just a bug in the Oval Office. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But that's similar to Wu Wei, but for everyone. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| You get a little, I don't know, speck of whatever the fuck this weird technology is mixed in with some... | ||
| Mass-produced stuff that goes all over the planet. | ||
| And now you can listen, not just to, like, government officials, but to what people are saying. | ||
| And then get that data, gather it up, and then feed it to an AI. You can replicate the personality of the country. | ||
| So that thing, you know, like, remember the old days, like, you'd get a Twitter bot, but their English was kind of fucked up. | ||
| Like, there was something about it that was like, or, you know, you get a call from one of those, one of those, like, fake Social Security people. | ||
| They say they're going to delete your Social Security number. | ||
| I don't know if you've gotten any of these or not. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But like, you know, they've got an accent. | ||
| They can't... | ||
| They don't... | ||
| Obviously, the way they're talking, you're not from the fucking Social Security office. | ||
| Not because you can't have an accent working. | ||
|
unidentified
|
John Cash Strassel is calling you from the Social Security office. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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You are in non-compliance. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That is the... | ||
| I love those calls, by the way. | ||
| Especially when I'm recording an intro for the podcast. | ||
| Do you play them? | ||
| Insta-recording. | ||
| You know what, I have, cause generally I'm late on the record or I just don't, cause you know, you can trigger them real quick. | ||
| Like they get so mad and then they'll always say something about fucking your mom or like, you know, your mom's got the biggest dick and then they'll hang up on you. | ||
| But my friend Pemberton, Got one real, like he's got a call up where he got one really, really good. | ||
| It's just fun to do. | ||
| But anyway, man, my point is, you siphon all this fucking data, feed it to an AI, run that through some kind of voice simulator so it sounds like a person, and now you've got like a legion of fake Americans interacting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's good. | ||
| Then you could just control the culture. | ||
| And that's 100% happening. | ||
| Well, I mean, yeah. | ||
| That's 100% happening right now. | ||
| I mean, not just from China, from Russia. | ||
| Russia, but not just from Russia, from corporations. | ||
| People have done that with those guys and then called another one and had them talk to each other and they can't figure out for about an hour what the fuck's happening. | ||
| Oh, that's so great. | ||
| Totally makes sense. | ||
| I mean, what they're doing with the Internet Research Agency, or at least what they were doing prior to 2016, if we assume that they don't get any more sophisticated over the last four or five years, who would it be so silly? | ||
| This lady, Renee DiResta, I heard her on Sam Harris's podcast, and I got her on mine, and she was explaining to me all the research that she did, looking into how the Russians were making these Facebook pages, not the Russians, just one agency, I should say, Internet Research Agency. | ||
| They were making these memes, and she's like, hundreds of thousands of memes, and a lot of them were really funny. | ||
| She's like, I was really laughing while I was doing this. | ||
| And she said she got to study how they created these pages, and that's where it was really interesting. | ||
| Like, they would create these pages, and they would use them for a while, like maybe a Simpsons fan page or something like that, and they would get a certain amount of following, and then they would switch it over to Occupy Wall Street. | ||
| Or they would switch it over to Black Lives Matter. | ||
| Or they would switch it over to LBGTQPage. | ||
| And they would just get a bunch of followers and then just use those followers. | ||
| Use a ton of hashtags and connect people through hashtags and they would just try to figure out what sticks. | ||
| And they would have meme pages, and they would organize arguments. | ||
| So they organized a Texas separatist meeting across the street from some Islamic pride rally. | ||
| So they got the two of them on catty-corner streets. | ||
| So they're yelling at each other. | ||
| You ever see that video of the cat, and he's on a roof, and a crow gets behind him and starts fucking with him? | ||
| And then he gets the cat to fight with another cat. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh yeah, yes. | |
| Have you seen that video? | ||
| Yes, I've seen it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's an amazing video. | ||
| This crow is so slick. | ||
|
unidentified
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He like fucks with the cat, like, hey man, hey, what the fuck's going on with you, bro? | |
| And the cat's like, and then there's another cat that's on another rooftop, just like five feet away, and that cat, he looks at that cat, he's like, man, fuck you. | ||
| And then, why are you staring at me, man, while this crow's fucking with me? | ||
| And the crow goes and fucks with him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the crow literally goes back and forth fucking with cat to cat and then they jump on each other and in a tumble of bodies fall off the roof. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| That's what the internet research agency is. | ||
| Yeah, and not just the internet research agency. | ||
| I mean, this is the thing. | ||
| It's like, this is what I've realized I've been doing is anytime any kind of crazy shit happens, I assign responsibility to some unknown state agency because we think there's no way Any normal group of people could do that. | ||
| It's got to be a country with a shit ton of money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No group of people could do that. | ||
| But I'm realizing that is just not the case anymore because the technology that everyone has access to is sufficient to at least like in a really degraded way imitate what you know probably what state agencies are doing meaning that now It's pure anarchy, | ||
| because you assume those, like, whatever the fuck they are, the UAPs, we are all like, oh, we know it's not a state agency, or if it is, it's like deeply secret. | ||
| It's like, motherfucker, you think it's a state agency? | ||
| What if it's just a group of geniuses who, like, Secretly crack their own thing in their basement and they're like just fucking around with this thing. | ||
| You know, that's the obvious thing coming out now that everyone suspects that the virus came from the virology lab in the place it was at the epicenter. | ||
| Where they used to study the exact virus. | ||
| Everybody, not everybody. | ||
| At first they were like, oh fuck, it definitely came from there. | ||
| And then they're like, well actually there's the wet markets there. | ||
| But anyway, the point is like, what if, What if you're like an hyper-eco-environmentalist group and you know that if you engineer this thing that's got like an extra two weeks or whatever asymptomatic, like you engineer a thing not to kill people but to fuck up economies. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you go to the place where there's an institute of virology and you release it there. | ||
| And of course people are gonna be like, well, it must have come from there. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| We just assume it's from this place or that place. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It could be from anywhere. | ||
| Well, three people that worked in that lab got sick, but we're assuming they got sick from that lab. | ||
| What a great cover if you sprayed them at a restaurant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Get them to go in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Get everyone sick. | ||
| It seems like it comes from there. | ||
| Dude, Duncan Trussell thinking on a 4D chess scale. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Well, it's scary, though. | ||
| I mean, this is, again, like, to me, that's the part that's, like, a little daunting. | ||
| And, you know, this shit, you know, it's not like it's going to get better. | ||
| It might get better. | ||
| I think if any way that's going to make it better is technology. | ||
| I think technology is going to allow ultimate transparency where you could read minds. | ||
| Once you could clearly see people's intent, it's going to chase all the demons into the shadows like roaches with the lights on. | ||
| You're going to see. | ||
| You kind of tell, but you kind of allow some of it to exist. | ||
| Like when you see Schumer and Pelosi kneeling with African garb on, and you're like, what are you doing? | ||
| What is happening here? | ||
| What is this weirdness? | ||
| When you see someone doing weird shit, you kind of, okay. | ||
| Politicians, for example, they're the best. | ||
| They'll say a speech, but it's off. | ||
| It doesn't sound like anything you would say. | ||
| They're doing weird things with their hands. | ||
| You accept a certain amount of insincerity, but you don't like it. | ||
| It's like you're talking about the Uncanny Valley. | ||
| That thing where when you're looking at CGI and it's not quite right and it's fucking creepy. | ||
| It's that thing. | ||
| This seems to be happening across the fucking board. | ||
| Where you're seeing what does appear to be A kind of clumsy, alien attempt to express solidarity with something, but it doesn't quite understand humans. | ||
| It's not like it doesn't just understand whatever the fuck it's trying to express connectivity to. | ||
| It's like it doesn't understand the way normal people interact. | ||
| And I think if you get a political class and you put them in a city where they can get on underground subways that are just for them, ride around in these little fucking trams through D.C. to avoid the traffic, they live in this weird, weird bubble. they live in this weird, weird bubble. | ||
| And over time, you're going to get weird. | ||
| You're going to get weirder and weirder. | ||
| Are you really interacting with your constituents? | ||
| Probably a little, but also you're getting like you've got advisor upon advisor upon advisor articulating some expression of what's supposed to be the will of the people. | ||
| But that's been warped a little bit by the lobbyists. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And also, you are thinking like, fuck, I want to get re-elected. | ||
| I need millions of dollars to get re-elected. | ||
| And that's not going to come from anybody but certain corporations. | ||
| But then those corporations have kind of loose ties with... | ||
| Countries that are adversaries, as they say, meaning that all of a sudden it's not just like some lobbyist who wants there to be a lack of regulations on oil pipelines getting the ear of some politician. | ||
| But it's a corporation that's a little bit influenced by a completely different country getting the ear of the politician. | ||
|
unidentified
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Fuck! | |
| Now it's like, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like suddenly we're getting like this thing that's some kind of like hybrid. | ||
| It's not a country anymore. | ||
| It's becoming more of a, I don't know, like just some hyper connected thing that is like probably not quite What you would traditionally call a country. | ||
| Well, a country didn't exist in the form of the United States until 1776, and then it's evolved from there, right? | ||
| As money starts getting weirder and weirder, because money's all digital now, right? | ||
| It's all flying around, and then what it becomes? | ||
| Bitcoin money. | ||
| That's really digital. | ||
| We get into cryptos. | ||
| If crypto becomes the general currency of the world, and then what's to stop that from happening with language? | ||
| So we have a universal currency that doesn't have some backing behind it. | ||
| It's just this weird thing where people just agree that a Bitcoin is worth $52 today or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's a weird one, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| How do you stop that from happening with language? | ||
| What if people come along with a language that's easy to learn, you can learn it, it's fun, there's games you can play, you can learn it while you're playing a game, and you get points? | ||
| What if there's a Call of Duty language? | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| You know how different video games are thought about creating their own coins? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Different people have different coins, right? | ||
| They're making their own coins. | ||
| What's to stop you from making a language that goes along with a video game, and as you get really good at the video game, you learn the language? | ||
| Also, yeah, if like Musk's neural mesh works out, and so we can expedite the Ability to learn new languages. | ||
| So it's not just like new languages are being formed, but then also you can just digest them like instantaneously. | ||
| So now you get this like weird hyper-evolving language that is probably going to be the language that the settlers speak on the moon colonies and the Mars colonies and the asteroid miners. | ||
| You're not going to be able to speak You're gonna have to have some pigeon. | ||
| By the way, I watched the Stanford professor that you had on. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| You have so many people on. | ||
| You had a Stanford professor who's like a cultural biologist or something. | ||
| He's showing how gene expression affects just basically a lot of humanity. | ||
| I wish I could remember his name. | ||
| It's a wonderful lecture. | ||
| If you look it up on YouTube... | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I just googled him and it showed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huberman? | |
| I think it might be Huberman. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Andrew Huberman? | |
| Whoever it was. | ||
| He's a genius. | ||
| Did he look like a handsome soldier? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| Huberman looks like a scientist in a Marvel Comics movie. | ||
| Like, that's not a fucking scientist. | ||
| But he's like a legitimate scientist. | ||
| Like an absolutely super well-respected... | ||
| I believe he's a... | ||
| What is Huberman's discipline, officially? | ||
| Scientist. | ||
| Neuroscientist. | ||
| This guy looks like an acid chemist. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Who the fuck would that be? | ||
| Look up. | ||
| It's Stanford. | ||
| It's like he did a... | ||
| How long ago? | ||
| Man, I'm just late at night. | ||
| I'm just watching Stanford lectures. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not looking at times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sapolsky? | |
| What? | ||
| Robert Sapolsky? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sapolsky. | |
| Oh, he's one of my favorites. | ||
| Yeah, Sapolsky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's the guy that got me to think, first of all, the hardest about parasites. | ||
| Because his big thing was toxoplasmosis. | ||
| That's what I found out about him. | ||
| He was teaching a lecture on toxoplasmosis, and I was like, oh my god, do I have that? | ||
| Because I've had cats, and I had wild cats at one point in time. | ||
| It's really common in cats, and really common in cat people. | ||
| It's really common in poorer parts of the world, where they have a lot of feral cats. | ||
| Some places, like France at one point in time, 50% of the people were infected by this brain parasite that comes from cats. | ||
| Do you know the whole story behind the parasite? | ||
| Oh yeah, but I loved it. | ||
| For some reason, it never gets old. | ||
| It never gets old. | ||
| It's a fascinating parasite, and this is what it does. | ||
| It gets into rats, and it hijacks the reward systems. | ||
| It hijacks the way the rat's brain works, and it makes the rat sexually attracted to the smell of cat urine. | ||
| So their balls swell up, their dick gets hard. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| How embarrassing. | ||
| How embarrassing. | ||
| And it also simultaneously removes their fear. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
| And it's a strategy for this parasite. | ||
| I'm so sorry, Doug, because I'll forget it. | ||
| Imagine if there was like a grizzly bear parasite that made your dick turn around bears. | ||
|
unidentified
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It made you run to a cave into the den. | |
| Oh my god, that would be hilarious. | ||
| You'd see... | ||
| That would be fucking hilarious. | ||
| That like Alaskan park rangers is like a new thing they gotta deal with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These fucking assholes out there with like rock hard dicks. | |
| Why is your dick hard soldier? | ||
| I gotta get to the bears! | ||
| That's hilarious, but that's what it is, man. | ||
| And the proportions are pretty similar too. | ||
| Like rat to cat versus person to bear. | ||
| Pretty fucking similar. | ||
| It's crazy to think somehow that happened in this dimension. | ||
| That is how long we've been here. | ||
| It's just crazy to think. | ||
| Because that just seems, if we're designing the simulator, that's a funny thing we do as a joke. | ||
| Let's make it so that there's a parasite that makes rats horny when they smell cat piss. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| And it does more than that, man. | ||
| It gets them horny, it gets them to not be afraid, and then it reproduces. | ||
| Then they start a podcast! | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| No, it reproduces inside the cat's gut. | ||
| That's the only way this parasite reproduces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So it tricks the rat into getting close to the cat. | ||
| There's some sort of weird thing that's going on. | ||
| That is a complex deception. | ||
| That's not a regular deception. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're like, no, I didn't work this way. | ||
| No, it didn't work that way. | ||
| How many thousands of times does a rat have to get eaten by the cat or killed by the cat before they figure out how to do it right, where it's real consistent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I guess it's just mutations. | ||
| I don't know about that, man. | ||
| It's definitely mutations, but I almost feel like there's a missing element To what makes things work that we're not tuned into. | ||
| We have these mechanisms, and this is no disrespect to the people that study this, and obviously I'm a moron, but all these people that are looking at this and looking at these mechanisms, I agree with all their work. | ||
| I'm not saying that I disagree that these mechanisms are in place and that they can show a clear cause and effect to certain genes and why they express themselves and certain Evolutionary traits that are beneficial to whatever animal. | ||
| But I think there's also some other weird shit going on, man. | ||
| I think there's multiple things going on. | ||
| And I think it's almost like there's information out there in experience. | ||
| And that information, when animals get jacked or when things go wrong, that information still manages to transfer out into the tribe. | ||
| You know, in some sort of non-verbal communication. | ||
| So I think it does that to like the parasites. | ||
| I think it works that way with people. | ||
| I think it works that way with a lot of stuff. | ||
| I think ideas and like tones, the way people see things, generally spreads almost like a virus as much as it spreads like information. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There's a weird thing to it. | ||
| If you look at parasites, and how the fuck a parasite figured out a rewire, like, hey, when the rats eat us, we don't fucking breed, okay? | ||
| Because we can't reproduce inside the rat's gut. | ||
| We need to get in that fucking cat. | ||
| How do we do this? | ||
| So they figured out how to get in the cat. | ||
| And the way to get in the cat is to trick the rat. | ||
| And then it gets to people, because people love cats, right? | ||
| So they tell pregnant women, never touch kitty litter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That stuff can get in you. | ||
| And if it gets in you, it fucks with the child's development. | ||
| It's related to decrease in IQ, increase in impulsive behavior, increase in... | ||
| Sapolsky was saying that there was an... | ||
| I don't know about the IQ thing. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| I might be wrong about that. | ||
| Toxoplasmosis in children leads to a decrease in IQ. The decrease in IQ thing is like, what the fuck causes IQ, right? | ||
| What are all the little pieces that are moving in place there? | ||
| Sapolsky said that motorcycle victims, when he was doing his residency, they would come in and there was a disproportionate amount of motorcycle accidents that have toxoplasmosis in their system when they would test him. | ||
| So the doctor that he was working with when he was doing his residency told him, let's test him for toxo. | ||
| And he's like, there's a disproportionate number because it makes him reckless. | ||
| It makes people reckless. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Also, another thing that's wild. | ||
| When you look at toxoplasmosis infections, there's some sort of a connection to successful soccer teams. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, countries with successful soccer teams generally have a higher rate of toxo. | ||
| But it doesn't necessarily mean it's the toxo that's causing them to be successful. | ||
| It could just be coincidental because those are the countries that are really obsessed with soccer. | ||
| Because it doesn't require much money to enter. | ||
| Like, poor people can play it. | ||
| You just need, like, a ball of tape and you can kick that around, right? | ||
| So, like, the idea is, like, there's a lot of games that come out of soccer that aren't soccer. | ||
| Like, they start playing it and get really good at it. | ||
| I think the IQ thing is something similar. | ||
| Oh, it is true. | ||
| It's something that's overrepresented among people with only elementary education. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's just about who they looked at for that stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Can you scroll that up so I can see if the arm is in the way? | ||
| Just up. | ||
| Just go that way. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| Analysis, a sample of 857 conscripts showed toxoplasmosa. | ||
| Positive subjects were significantly overrepresented among people with only elementary education, had significantly lower verbal intelligence, and significant lower factor of novelty seeking. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Bummer. | ||
| We got to think, again, you're dealing with poverty, right? | ||
| You're dealing with third world, a lot of third world environments where they have high incidence of that shit. | ||
| But that is fucking fascinating that a bug figures out a way to get a rat horny and get him chasing a cat so it gets eaten because it wants to get in that cat's stomach. | ||
| That's wild, man. | ||
| The implication, this is really creepy, but it is, when I'm looking at people with COVID are afraid to get the vaccine, or people are like, you know, we have this fucking thing, it's probably a bioweapon, man, and we got this thing, and people gathering together, you know, when it was soaring, just gathering together as sturges, you know? | ||
| You have to... | ||
| Like, I was thinking, like, fuck. | ||
| Did they not just engineer a bioweapon? | ||
| But did they figure out a way to make it so that part... | ||
| One of the things it does is it makes people want to get really social and, like, go against the thing that would slow it down? | ||
| You know, like, is this some kind of fucking insane new version of toxoplasmosis that makes people... | ||
| I don't know, just want to get it. | ||
| There's some people who just wanted to get it. | ||
| Just to get it over with. | ||
| Just to get it over with. | ||
| But that's like for a virus, Jesus Christ, that's the best thing that can happen to you, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like with chickenpox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's pressure. | |
| That's just pressure. | ||
| Some people just can't handle the pressure of awaiting something over and over and over again. | ||
| The anxiety of when is it going to come. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, look, I remember when we didn't even know what it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that's when I'm like, well, it's probably going to just fucking kill me at some point. | ||
| I was having like, you know, when we didn't know. | ||
| When it's like, this could be a post-apocalyptic movie in three months. | ||
| Because this is a new thing. | ||
| So we're not positive everything that it does. | ||
| We don't know what the fuck it does. | ||
| Feet explode. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It could do... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| All of a sudden, a few months in, people are having seizures. | ||
| And the toxoplasmosis stuff... | ||
| I mean, I'm in a fucking robe and I'm wearing a wig. | ||
| I'm obviously not. | ||
| But you're in good company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Clearly you're not listening to some kind of... | ||
| Yeah, don't listen to him. | ||
| He's got an Illuminati ring on. | ||
| This is not a fucking TED Talk here. | ||
| But I was thinking, you know, if like over zillions of years, toxoplasmosis can make rats get horny when they smell cat piss, couldn't someone whip some shit up in the laboratory that makes people just, I don't know, like a certain kind of sneaker? | ||
| You know, could it... | ||
| Could a corporation whip up a virus? | ||
| Could you imagine if they did, but didn't have any other side effects? | ||
| You tell me they wouldn't do it? | ||
| Isn't that what advertising is? | ||
| They would do it. | ||
| Isn't that what advertising is? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Especially to dullards, right? | ||
| Someone who maybe have toxo, and they're more susceptible to ads? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine that? | ||
| Imagine that's the way to get people to be more susceptible to ads? | ||
| Let more rats with toxo out in the streets? | ||
| Imagine if they're just spraying TOXO down into the sewer pipes in New York City, just trying to get it out there. | ||
| Let's go, let's go, let's go! | ||
| But you know, man, to get back to your idea of shit, it feels like there is something that we haven't quite figured out yet when it comes to gene expression and the way that it gets genes mutate and the way evolution happens. | ||
| Similarly, with language and with data, We aren't at the place yet where we acknowledge that data is as much of a drug or a virus as anything else. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because you're eating it with your eyes doesn't make it any less like you're getting infected. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| When you said that, holy fuck, that's what advertising is, I had to pause for a second. | ||
| It really is, right? | ||
| Yeah, especially if you... | ||
| It's a mind virus. | ||
| If data is alive, or is a form of life, or kind of like, you know, they say a virus is not quite alive, not quite dead. | ||
| It's somewhere in between. | ||
| So are information packets, you know? | ||
| And the effect that they have is so profound that, yeah, I wonder how laws would change if we start reframing what information is as more of a living thing. | ||
| It's more of a thing that lives in the mind and jumps from one person to the next, but it's actually kind of alive. | ||
| Kind of not, but it's sort of a living thing. | ||
| I think that of ideas all the time. | ||
| I think that ideas might be alien, like a different life form. | ||
| Here's the thought. | ||
| Everything you see, right? | ||
| Everything from buildings to fucking power lines, cars, everything that's man-made came out of the mind. | ||
| It came out of the human imagination. | ||
| And we just take it for granted that it's a thing. | ||
| Like, here's a table. | ||
| Here's a skyscraper. | ||
| Yeah, but where did that come from? | ||
| It came out of the mind. | ||
| Like, an idea came into the mind and tricked the monkey into building it. | ||
| And the monkey says, look me big, building, make, right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look what I've done. | |
| Ooh, monkey so strong. | ||
| Monkey so smart. | ||
| You know, we think that we're so awesome because we figured out how to make that Huawei phone that spies on your neighbors. | ||
| But what is that? | ||
| What is going on there? | ||
| Oh, the Communist Party is trying to take over. | ||
| Is it or is it the most successful vehicle for getting ideas through? | ||
| Is it the most successful vehicle for getting technology through? | ||
| Ideas that create things, which are the most important ideas to things. | ||
| Not to humans. | ||
| That's why we moan and we talk about materialism and how fucking shallow the world is because we recognize there's a disconnect between the things that are valuable to humans and the things that just make more things. | ||
| They're valuable because they allow more things to be created. | ||
| Well, then you go, well, what the fuck are these things? | ||
| What are these things and how'd they trick us into loving them so much? | ||
| They don't... | ||
| I'm talking about how I love watching phone videos. | ||
| They don't change my fucking life. | ||
| If I had an iPhone 6 and I just were good, let's stop right there, I probably wouldn't notice. | ||
| You'd probably send me a message, I say hi back, we're cool, call each other, hey, what's up? | ||
| You know, maybe my phone would look a little shittier for the FaceTime, but that's it. | ||
| Other than that, I wouldn't notice anything. | ||
| But we're all obsessed with these fucking things. | ||
| And these things have weaseled their way into our lives. | ||
| And then you get the commercials. | ||
| And the commercials show the things. | ||
| And it's usually a girl with long legs and pretty feet. | ||
| Dude, those Apple commercials lately. | ||
| I want to fuck the commercial. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| The new Apple commercials? | ||
| No, I haven't, but I can only imagine. | ||
| Someone who used to work at MKUltra got a job at Apple and was like, look, why don't you try this thing that we did during Project Stargate and we'll make this thing. | ||
| And then suddenly you get this Apple commercial. | ||
| It's just some woman. | ||
| And it's like beautiful, beautiful computers that I don't need at all. | ||
| My wife and I watch it and we're like, we gotta get one. | ||
| And it's like, but why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've got a computer. | |
| You have a computer? | ||
| But the commercial is so potent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, yeah, I want a blue, a blue Mac. | |
| Ah, blue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| New colors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want a red phone. | ||
| But it's, but to me, what's really cool. | ||
| Cool, and what may, hopefully isn't, but the future might be looked at as Wild West, is that, I mean, you look at Apple, right? | ||
| This is two multiverses away from this one. | ||
| This is a tower of wizards. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it is, right? | |
| And like every once in a while, like today was their big keynote thing, but every once in a while the wizards show, behold the new spirits we've summoned, and then, you know, shows it to the villagers and we're all like, oh my god, look at that glowing cube of Anaxanax! | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, the cube of Anaxanax will now teleport six feet farther. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But, yeah, two multiverses away. | |
| That's what it is. | ||
| But, you know, knowing that these are wizards, and then realizing these commercials, they're casting spells on us. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Two multiverses away. | ||
| We just don't think of it as a spell. | ||
| It's a spell! | ||
| What is that image? | ||
| Why are you showing me that? | ||
| It's the apple.com. | ||
| As it starts, it's what he's describing. | ||
| All these little emojis are looking at this. | ||
| This is a spell of hypnosis 17. They're going to get you to accept those as your avatars and you're going to be more comfortable with them than your real skin. | ||
| Then they're going to give you the option three or four phones from now to actually become that avatar permanently. | ||
| And your old skin, you can always go back to your old skin temporarily, but only as long as you have battery life. | ||
| Because in real life, you have to make the swap. | ||
| You have to decide. | ||
| And in real life, it's just much more efficient for our systems if you just accept the avatar all the time. | ||
| And you can upgrade your avatar. | ||
| It's not that expensive. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, you just described one of the stories of how humans incarnate in this dimension as you pick your incarnation. | ||
| Maybe that is part of why we're so obsessed with gender and race. | ||
| Maybe we're going to get to a point, maybe the universe is priming us, and we're going to get to a point very soon where you can really swap out your gender and race. | ||
| You really can change what you are because you're just electricity going through your fucking brain connected to some machine by some weird interface and now they figured that interface out and you will live the life of whoever you want. | ||
| Whether you want to be tall or short, whether you're a person who decides you want to experience life in poverty, whether you want to experience life as a genius, whether you want to be a girl or a boy, gay or straight, black or white, Asian, whatever the fuck you want, you can do it all. | ||
| Anytime you want, you can go back and forth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, that's coming. | ||
| Well, that's, you know, like, I opened up The Singularity is Near recently just to look, you know, look through. | ||
| It's a great book. | ||
| Kurzweil's got this definition of humans in there that's so beautiful, and I'm gonna butcher it, but it's essentially like, you know, he's got a lot of definitions of humans. | ||
| Some of them are really amazing, like... | ||
| Something like self-replicating, nano-replicator or something. | ||
| But, like, the other description is humans are things that... | ||
| Because in there, people ask, like, okay, if we learn to use nanobots to decode us and, like... | ||
| You know, not just transform our bodies, but, you know, merge humans with other humans. | ||
| You know, theoretically, entire collectives of people could merge together as superorganisms with one personality. | ||
| But what are we going to be after that? | ||
| And he says, what humans are are creatures that like to push past all boundaries. | ||
| And so the market pressure that is going into, like, people spending all the money they spend to build these insane fucking phones... | ||
| That is the thing that's pushing us towards that point. | ||
| And that there's no choice. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| I didn't realize this until I was reading it recently, because somehow when I was reading the Singularity shit before, I used to imagine, oh, we have a choice in this. | ||
| Like, humans as a whole just put the brakes on and be like, you know what? | ||
| Let's slow down on the Singularity project thing. | ||
| I don't think we're going to do it. | ||
| There's no choice. | ||
| Like, we're part of a river that's going over a waterfall. | ||
| And no particle of water gets to say, hold on, everybody! | ||
| Let's not go over the waterfall! | ||
| What do you say we just hang out, turn into a lake or something? | ||
| It's like, no, there's no way out of it. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| And all this stuff that's causing all this fucking turmoil in society is related to humans coming to this weird point of freedom where we might not have to be what we were born as in any way. | ||
| In any way. | ||
| In any way. | ||
| And that, for whatever reason, is very upsetting to some people. | ||
| Some people don't like it. | ||
| They're like, you gotta be what you were born as. | ||
| All things. | ||
| All things. | ||
| You know, if tomorrow a technology emerges where you could change your... | ||
| Some people would be mad at you for doing that. | ||
| Yeah, it would be a huge controversy, man. | ||
| And similarly with gender, but not just with gender. | ||
| Imagine if tomorrow anyone who wants to could turn into the most in-shape person ever. | ||
| So now when you see somebody who's in shape, you're like, wow, they've got a lot of discipline. | ||
| But that all goes away. | ||
| There's no more, you know what I mean? | ||
| There's no currency anymore. | ||
| And like, oh wow, you're a master pianist? | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| So what app did you use? | ||
| Right, you learned it easy. | ||
| Oh, you're such a... | ||
| Instantaneously. | ||
| You've become so... | ||
| Cheers, my brothers. | ||
| You've become so much funnier ever since you did that upgrade. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But isn't this ego... | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like isn't this what we're thinking about just ego that like people have gone through this intense laborious process to become the greatest tennis player of all time? | ||
| But if you could just get there through technology, isn't it? | ||
| It's I mean I get that there's like all these signals of discipline and all these signals of being something special But it seems like that's just because it's hard to do, right? | ||
| There's a thing that's going on here where it's like we're praising things that are hard to do because it's an ethic, right? | ||
| It's like burned into our system. | ||
| And we think it's definitely positive. | ||
| The things that are hard to do make you a better person. | ||
| But we're basing that on the idea that that's the only way to make you a better person. | ||
| Like, that just taking these downloads and all of a sudden learning how to play concert piano or learning how to do kung fu or learning how to do calculus, like, instantaneously adds to your database. | ||
| Maybe you just become the same version or even maybe a better version of a better person because you're not constantly bitter about struggle. | ||
| Because one of the things that sucks about really famous people or really successful people or really exceptionally accomplished people is they want you to know. | ||
| When they want you to know, and I think we've all been guilty of it, and I know I've been guilty of it for sure, where I was happy about certain success and I bragged about it. | ||
| And in retrospect, it's probably gross, but in the moment I was being celebratory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a thing where when people are trying to do something and it's difficult to do, when someone does something like that, we admire them because they made it through. | ||
| But ultimately, the benefit's supposed to be that it makes them somehow or another a better version of what they were. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With everything they do, whether they climb Mount Everest or write a novel. | ||
| Hard things make you a more interesting person. | ||
| Everybody that I know has gone through some interesting shit, and it's one of the things that I love most about comics. | ||
| Because I know the emotional rollercoaster ride that it takes to become a competent comedian. | ||
| Where you're working professional, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| And then to do what we do, what you and I do, which is even weirder, where you're just thinking out loud in front of the world, which is fucking bananas. | ||
| A ridiculous thing to do. | ||
| And while you're doing it, most of the time you're high or drunk. | ||
| Or a lot of the time at least. | ||
| All these things, they're interesting and we celebrate them because we know they're hard to achieve. | ||
| But why do they have to be? | ||
| Why can't people just become a better person with a download? | ||
| Do we want someone to fucking have to run marathons for 10 years to be a better person? | ||
| Maybe there's a download. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beep! | |
| And all of a sudden you're like a guy who runs marathons every day for 10 years. | ||
| You're like a stoic You're a person who just appreciates things for what they are. | ||
| You don't come with any bullshit. | ||
| You're not emotionally over-needy. | ||
| You don't require additional attention. | ||
| There's all these things that people are allowed to do where they require additional attention that they don't really deserve. | ||
| Well, it's the same thing on the flip side. | ||
| The people that get attention for things that they have accomplished, they want it, and that's why they're doing it, that's not good. | ||
| And it's also not good that people want attention for things they don't deserve attention for. | ||
| Why do you want to be celebrated? | ||
| You've got work to do. | ||
| You're lazy. | ||
| You eat too much. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Stop saying it's the world's fault. | ||
| It's not the world's fault. | ||
| Get up! | ||
| Stop farting on yourself and go outside. | ||
| Go! | ||
| Just go outside! | ||
| You can fart on yourself. | ||
| Go outside! | ||
| But that, there's, if you just get all that with a download, why do you have to fucking, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, for sure you got a download. | ||
| We all got downloads, right? | ||
| I got a fairly lucky download where there wasn't a lot of trauma. | ||
| It wasn't anything unsurmountable. | ||
| Some people get downloads that are horrendous. | ||
| And they have to work their way through childhood sexual abuse, right? | ||
| They could have been molested by the time they were babies, right? | ||
| That's a real thing across the world. | ||
| So imagine that download. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Imagine if you can just come along and fix that. | ||
| Oh, we're going to take that and just fix that issue and then give you a guy who climbed all the mountains. | ||
| Download. | ||
| And then you're going to learn Kung Fu, like Neo and the Matrix. | ||
| Give you that download. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Calculus, that download. | ||
| Why wouldn't you do that? | ||
| You want to work hard? | ||
| Well, I want to earn it on my own fucking back. | ||
| But that would be, so that would be one of the big controversies, which is like, okay, so we've got one league of baseball players that achieved their ability to play baseball through a combination of skill and talent and practice, and then we have this other league. | ||
| They're all 14. But they didn't download. | ||
| So that now they're like 50 times better than any living baseball player. | ||
| Watching them is like watching some kind of like psychedelic geometry because they're so fucking good and the balls move so fast. | ||
| It's like the most insane thing you've ever seen. | ||
| But do you want to watch that? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Or do you want to watch... | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're not going to watch an old baseball game. | |
| Oh yeah, let's go watch the fucking Dodgers. | ||
| You know, they haven't had any downloads. | ||
| It's just old classic baseball when the balls moved less than 600 miles per hour. | ||
| When the balls didn't break the sound barrier. | ||
| No shit, right? | ||
| But that's the problem, is because you're going to have a group of people that rejects becoming whatever this thing is, and those people, they're gonna say things like, we're being ostracized, we're being pushed to the side, and it's like, well, kind of, but also what's happening is, You don't want to adapt, and the history of evolution is adaptation, for better or for worse. | ||
| It might be better to be a primordial person who hasn't done gene therapy, who hasn't transformed their genetics, which is coming. | ||
| The new vaccines are part of that, but the thing that's coming, because that shit sped stuff up. | ||
| What's coming is going to be... | ||
| Again and again, you're going to get this opportunity where it's like, do you want to get rid of your diabetes, maybe? | ||
| Okay, we're going to give you this thing that's going to reprogram your DNA so that your insulin is working, so everything's working. | ||
| Your pancreas is working. | ||
| And some people... | ||
| Who have diabetes are going to be like, no, I think I want to stay like this. | ||
| I don't want to alter my DNA. And other people are going to be like, yes, do it now. | ||
| Fucking inject it in me. | ||
| I don't want to have to go through a life like this anymore. | ||
| I want to see what it's like. | ||
| And not just that aging. | ||
| And not just that... | ||
| Cancer which I'm quite excited about because I had it and you know having had it it's like you it's it's it's any any Advancement in that realm is like exciting because it took my mom too and obviously for not just my own selfish ass But everybody out there is contending with it, | ||
| but like you're this is going to be Every you know few years there's gonna be a thing where it's like yeah, you don't want it Okay, you don't have to get it But the more you don't get it and then when it gets to intelligence man When it gets to just like, you know, or what if you want to give your workers genetic therapy that makes them faster, you know, or smarter or whatever, you know what I mean? | ||
| Move quicker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Suddenly what happens is the species isn't, they say this happens in species where they split. | ||
| Well, especially when you have a thing like CRISPR. You have the breakthrough technology where you can actually start manipulating genes. | ||
| That was a thought before. | ||
| Now it's a real practice. | ||
| And they've actually done it on human fetuses in China, right? | ||
| It's coming, man. | ||
| And didn't they have an unintended positive consequence? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I think they got smarter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, whoops! | ||
| Yeah, it was John Cena apologizing. | ||
| So sorry. | ||
| Everybody got smarter. | ||
| Love the Chinese people. | ||
| So sorry. | ||
| This guy got smarter. | ||
| It was an accident. | ||
| We were just trying to protect him from HIV. That's what it was, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| I think they were trying to give them protection from HIV. Can you Google that, Jamie? | ||
| I'm going to be butchering this. | ||
| I think the guy who did that got in trouble, too, right? | ||
| I think he got arrested. | ||
| Yeah, he got in trouble. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| They told him to do that. | ||
| I was trying to decode the wink-wink trouble. | ||
| What was the question? | ||
| How to phrase that question? | ||
| I think the question is like, yeah, something about AIDS, genetic therapy, China, IQ increase. | ||
| I think it was twins, twin fetuses. | ||
| And they tried to give them protection. | ||
| The sound of being stoned online. | ||
| We are now, this is literally the sound. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know when you're online and you're trying to remember what you're Googling? | |
| Well, this is part of the problem with my podcast, man. | ||
| It's like people, for some reason or another, think I should stop doing it this way. | ||
| Gene edits to CRISPR babies might have shortened their life expectancy. | ||
| That's not great. | ||
| Oops. | ||
| Study of almost half a million people links mutation that protects against HIV infection to an earlier death. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, that is a weird link. | ||
| I don't necessarily understand how they could just make that leap. | ||
| Put that back up. | ||
| It doesn't necessarily mean that that's what caused their earlier death. | ||
| It could have mean they just fucked themselves into oblivion and ran out of jizz. | ||
| That's possible, too. | ||
| No shot of getting HIV ever. | ||
| You know? | ||
| How many people would just go ham? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Scientists who edited the genomes of twin girls and attempt to make them resistant to HIV may have inadvertently shortened their lives. | ||
| But I think there's another thing that they were saying. | ||
| They think it impaired some sort of a cognitive benefit. | ||
| He probably... | ||
| That's just what you say after you find out you fucked up some babies. | ||
| You're like, but they're smarter! | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Trust me! | |
| I gotta go! | ||
| Wait a few years, they're gonna- Listen, and in 10 years, they're gonna come up with a cure for their life expectancy being shorter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Relax. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You're welcome. | ||
| You know the problem to me, man, is like, why do they have to call it CRISPR? It's like CRISPR babies. | ||
| It sounds like a KFC fucking snack. | ||
| It sounds like bacon. | ||
| It's a bacon sandwich. | ||
| Oh, I love CRISPR babies in the morning! | ||
| That's a terrible name. | ||
| That would have been a good name for like a bacon store. | ||
| Not like the future of humanity. | ||
| We owe it all to CRISPR. Yeah, but you know, I think that we're just witnessing humanity reckoning with what's coming, the technology. | ||
| Because here's the other thing. | ||
| If you look at what they're saying about not just the Wuhan laboratory, but like, did I just say laboratory? | ||
| It's Wuhan laboratory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did I say that? | |
| You're drinking. | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| I almost forgot. | ||
| But yeah, if you look at, so the big controversy right now is virology gain-of-function research, which is taking some fucking virus, altering a little bit, and sometimes you need to do that to study it, right? | ||
| I was looking it up. | ||
| There's these mice pox, I think, in Australia. | ||
| Because basically, you want to take this virus, whatever it may be, that might pose a threat to humanity, like what happened in Galveston. | ||
| That's what they were looking at. | ||
| The idea being, okay, here- Well, we went to a place in Galveston where they studied these things. | ||
| We said, what happened in Galveston? | ||
| There was an outbreak that people don't know about. | ||
| Oh, the Galveston fucking outbreak. | ||
| They might have been like, what happened in Galveston? | ||
| They're like, fuck, what happened in Galveston? | ||
| Who's Dr. talking about? | ||
| Let's Google it. | ||
| No, we just went to this creepy place. | ||
| Creepy only because there's tiny little microscopic demons all around you. | ||
| And I should say that we got so high at the airport that we missed our flight. | ||
| They left. | ||
| They took off. | ||
| They were already gone. | ||
| We were like, where's this flight? | ||
| We were so baked. | ||
| We were sitting there talking for so long. | ||
| And then we had to take a flight late that night. | ||
| And we flew all through the night and then landed in the morning and then had an hour to sleep, I think. | ||
| Then the next day, you're in, like, one of the most secure bio-laboratories. | ||
| What did you put up, Jamie? | ||
| Mousepox. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Mousepox. | ||
| But, like, so... | ||
| Okay, so the idea is you have... | ||
| Essentially, like, you're planning a virus... | ||
| Two multiverses over where Apple's a wizard tower, a virus is a demon. | ||
| And so if you're one of the royal demon defenders, you've got to study what are the most possible 15 demons that might break out of hell. | ||
| And rampage through Earth, right? | ||
| And so in this dimension, that's like the coronaviruses, but not just the coronaviruses, Ebola, not just Ebola, like all the possible things we might have to worry about, the avian bird flu, right? | ||
| If you're like in one of these labs, you need to study it, but you gotta study it in a living thing that is easier to study than whatever it came from. | ||
| Gain of function, make it so that it infects mice, right? | ||
| Now you can put it in mice and start studying the way it works in living organisms, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? | ||
| So that's gain of function research, right? | ||
| So like virologists, so now there's like a moratorium on it, at least I hope there is very strict, but virologists are kind of like, look, We have to do gain of function if we're going to study the shit that's coming because we want to try to at least begin the process of making a vaccine, understanding how it's going to affect civilization so that if it does come, if the demon comes out of hell, we know the spell is to cast. | ||
| That's the reason we got the COVID vaccines. | ||
| Everyone's like... | ||
| They started working on it six months ago. | ||
| It's like, no, they didn't. | ||
| They've been working on versions of it for a while because of this very thing. | ||
| But anyway, the problem is, the problem with gain-of-function, the double-edged sword is, You're making the thing. | ||
| It's like instead of waiting for the demon to explode from hell, you summon it in a sealed chamber of Lornax. | ||
| Like where they put the Hulk in that clear box? | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Pull that video, pull that, excuse me, that text up, brother. | ||
| Because this text is insane about micepox. | ||
| I'm going to read this to you folks because it's such a fucking... | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| A virus that kills every one of its victims by wiping out part of their immune system has been accidentally created by an Australian research team. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Just imagine that. | ||
| A virus that kills every one of its victims was accidentally... | ||
| Whoops! | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were trying to make syrup and we wanted to put it on our pancakes, but we accidentally made a virus that kills everybody. | |
| What does that mean? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| It's not an accident if that's what you're working on. | ||
| Is that what they're working on? | ||
| But the reason they're working on it is because you would rather understand it in a laboratory than all of a sudden mousepox naturally mutates And suddenly, shit tons of people are just dying, and we have no idea how to deal with it. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| That's the argument for gain-of-function research. | ||
| Oh, I get it. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| No, no, no, I get the argument for it. | ||
| I mean, it's really interesting, right? | ||
| It's like, how do you understand how a virus mutates other than making it mutate yourself, and you do it in this really safe, contained environment. | ||
| But life finds a way, doesn't it? | ||
| Well, that place wasn't safe. | ||
| That place had been cited for safety violations in 2018. I didn't know that. | ||
| Find that, please. | ||
| This mousepox is scaring the shit out of me, Australia. | ||
| What are you doing, Australia? | ||
| Wait, I thought it meant it only killed 100% of mice. | ||
| It means humans? | ||
| It does kill 100% of mice because it hasn't jumped to humans. | ||
| But if it did make the leap to humans with the same efficacy... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| That's 100% death. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| It's like if you go back throughout humanity, we hit a bunch of fucking pit stops. | ||
| Where things went real bad, and we had to restart the whole race. | ||
| And I think at times, human beings got down to, because of natural disasters, just a few thousand people. | ||
| And for sure, because of plagues, the human race probably got dropped down to multiple times, like half of what it used to be, or a third of what it used to be. | ||
| That happened a bunch of times. | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| So the human race itself, we got real close once. | ||
| I think in Indonesia there was a super volcano that blew off like 60,000 years ago. | ||
| We've talked about this so many times, I really wish I could pull this off at the top of my head. | ||
| 2018 diplomats warned of risky coronavirus experiments in a Wuhan lab. | ||
| No one listened. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, so 2018. People were like, hey, what the fuck? | ||
| It'd make a good 80s comedy. | ||
| Like a bunch of stoners working at a viral laboratory. | ||
| What was I just talking about just before that? | ||
| You said you've talked about it many times. | ||
| Oh, the fucking super volcano, man. | ||
| I think it was in Indonesia, right? | ||
| I think Toba. | ||
| Toba. | ||
| And it killed everybody except for, I think it was down to 7,000 people. | ||
| So the whole earth, think about the 7 billion people, they were down to 7,000. | ||
| What horrors did those people see? | ||
| The people that made it, how many people did they eat? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| How many of their friends did they see die? | ||
| I mean, what did they do? | ||
| There's 7,000 people. | ||
| You go from a million people to 7,000. | ||
| The sky becomes black with soot as this volcano bursts fire into the sky and it drowns out all the sun, kills all the plants, you have no food, animals starve to death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They might have just eaten each other. | ||
| I mean, who the fuck knows? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Right now, anthropologists are going crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't understand history! | |
| You're right. | ||
| They're right. | ||
| It would be nice if when you're watching Fox News or whatever the left or the right fucking propaganda mechanism is, Every once in a while they would just admit, they're like, we don't know what we're talking about, y'all! | ||
| We're performing. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| I think that would be nice if every once in a while they broke the fourth wall. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| They don't have any freedom. | ||
| That's part of the problem with that whole format. | ||
| The difference between what you do and what they do, it's on the opposite side of the matrix. | ||
| People would believe them more, though. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Then it would be a corporate decision to do that, and it wouldn't work. | ||
| North America settled by just 70 people, study concludes. | ||
| What? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Give me a break. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| Holy fucking shit. | ||
| 70 people? | ||
| Scroll up, bro. | ||
| Let me read some of this shit. | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| I was looking at the genetic bottleneck theory stuff, because that's what that Toba catastrophe talks about. | ||
| Oh, is that what they think? | ||
| That's what the... | ||
| One of the things that could have created it. | ||
| It was a core sample thing, too, though, right? | ||
| Yeah, there were other animals that have gotten down there, too, so I was just like, I stumbled across this. | ||
| A new study of DNA suggests North America was originally populated by just a few dozen people who crossed a land bridge from Asia during the last Ice Age. | ||
| About 14,000 years ago, humans crossed the Bering Land Bridge from Siberia to North America. | ||
| Most experts agree. | ||
| You know, I got called racist because I believe that. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, somebody pointed me to something. | ||
| Somebody sent me a thing saying, why is this racist? | ||
| People think that some folks, like colonists, believe that people came here across the Bering Land Bridge and populated North America, where some folks think there was Native people just here, period. | ||
| Like there was Native people everywhere. | ||
| And I gotta admit, I never even thought about it until somebody said that, because if there were Native people in South America, For sure. | ||
| Do we believe that all the Native people in North America and South America walked down from Siberia? | ||
| Is that what we believe? | ||
| They don't really know, right? | ||
| Sounds crazy. | ||
| It sounds crazy, but it's just guessing. | ||
| At this point, maybe that's right. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Or maybe there's people already here. | ||
| Maybe we don't know. | ||
| Maybe they hopped on rafts. | ||
| I like the Graham Hancock version of it way better. | ||
| It's like we're older and older and older. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| So yeah, did like a group of people cross an ice bridge at some point to... | ||
| End up in a place that had recently experienced a meteor or a comet, like, impact on the planet? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Just imagine this shit. | ||
| 70 people. | ||
| 70 people. | ||
| Coming across from Siberia. | ||
| Well, by the way, during that time, 14,000 years ago, you know it was alive on that Bering land bridge that they think kept people from crossing over sooner? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| The short-faced bear. | ||
| A short-faced bear makes a grizzly bear look like a koala bear. | ||
| So you had to fight bears. | ||
| You couldn't fight bears. | ||
| You could not fight a short-faced bear. | ||
| A short-faced bear is so big, it's a demon in a movie. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| The biggest of all the bear species. | ||
| Wasn't that tough. | ||
| Well, Randall Carlson and Graham Hancock believe that that short-faced bear was a victim of the Younger Dryas impact theory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They believe that the asteroids slammed into the planet, and there's real proof of that in terms of when they do core samples, according to these guys, in that range of when the Ice Age ends. | ||
| There's all this nuclear glass that indicates there was some sort of impacts all over the place, all throughout Asia and Europe. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| Some wild theory, man. | ||
| It's such a crazy theory when you think about that. | ||
| But that fucking bear died off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people made it because we're ingenuity. | ||
| We are ingenuity. | ||
| We are ingenuity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're Toyota. | |
| We're number one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're number one. | |
| But we figured out how to survive and they didn't have enough food. | ||
| They're so fucking big. | ||
| They need so much food. | ||
| Dude, so, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Extinction hypotheses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| We always talk about it. | ||
| But we haven't talked about it with wigs on before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right! | |
| We can repeat our conversations! | ||
| I love it! | ||
| Can I just say something before you do it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm better with you. | ||
| I'm my best podcaster with you. | ||
| Same! | ||
| We know each other so well. | ||
| We used to be roommates. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Definitely. | ||
| How many months? | ||
| How long was I living at your house? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Six? | ||
| Was it like six? | ||
| It was close to that. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| I'd love to have you at my house. | ||
| I thought it was amazing. | ||
| That was a blast. | ||
| I've got to tell you, man. | ||
| To emerge out of this fucking pandemic, having been with my wife who was pregnant for a lot of it. | ||
| Which is really scary. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| But we made a decision. | ||
| We were like, look, we're not gonna let fear Determine our lives. | ||
| Are you guys taking vitamins? | ||
| Are you doing the whole vitamin thing? | ||
| She eats more vitamins than I've ever seen anyone eat. | ||
| Because she breastfeeds. | ||
| And I've tasted her milk. | ||
| It's sweet. | ||
| Whatever she's doing is... | ||
| Right, because she makes very sweet... | ||
| You know, I know why the baby's smiling, because it's like ice cream, basically. | ||
| But anyway... | ||
| I forced my wife to keep making breast milk for three years after the baby was born, just so I could have some for myself. | ||
| No, you did not. | ||
| No, of course I didn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did you... | |
| Joe, why did you let it go? | ||
| You should have been like, yes! | ||
| I got scared. | ||
| I got scared that she was going to listen. | ||
| That's a Twitter trend. | ||
| Joe Rogan forced wife to make... | ||
| He had a milking area in the house. | ||
| Bro, you've been to my house. | ||
| I can't even fucking decorate. | ||
| I'm not allowed to decorate. | ||
| I mean, this is the thing. | ||
| This is a recurring problem we have, which is that my wife will ask me, do you like this? | ||
| And then all of a sudden I have weird, intense, aesthetic opinions that I've never had before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| That's so true! | ||
| She'll show me a couch. | ||
| I don't think about a couch. | ||
| I'm like, no, I don't think that's going to work in that room. | ||
| And she's like, you don't like anything I show you. | ||
| And then I think about it. | ||
| It's like, I'm basing this on nothing other than like a dim, like a light feeling of not liking it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're ready to argue to the death. | |
| Which is like where you're at is the enlightened place to be, which is like surrender to it. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Well, here's the reality of it. | ||
| First of all, A, I really don't care. | ||
| If it looks nice, I don't care. | ||
| I'm happy. | ||
| I just want to sit down. | ||
| I'm not that interested. | ||
| I'm really not that interested. | ||
| But I also don't like when one person just makes all the decisions. | ||
| Like, um, hey! | ||
| But I also know, realistically, if I was the one to make the decisions, it would be a mess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It'll be a hodgepodge of imagery. | ||
| And here's one thing that me and my wife don't get along, or don't agree with, rather. | ||
| I'm into, I am not just into, I have this weird obsession with ancient Asian art. | ||
| Weird obsession. | ||
| Like, the Buddha figure, I have a bunch of Buddhas, I have different Ganeshes and all these different things from Thailand and China and I'm obsessed with that shit. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I've always been. | ||
| I've always been obsessed with that. | ||
| I see that and it's like, part of me goes, I want that near me. | ||
| I want that close to me. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| Because you used to be a Buddhist. | ||
| You don't ever accept it, but it's like... | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I used to be a monkey, dude. | ||
| Well, you were a monkey at some point, too. | ||
| I mean, look, again, that's like my own, obviously, that's my own sense of things. | ||
| But the concept of reincarnation, I think, is a really beautiful thing and probably pretty true. | ||
| Because, you know, people do have, especially when you look at my favorite reincarnation, Story is that woman who became an Egyptologist. | ||
| Her parents took her to this Egyptian exhibit when she was a little girl. | ||
| And she started crying and shit because she's like, there used to be gardens here. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But anyway, she was having this past life memory of living in Egypt. | ||
| And she became a very famous Egyptologist. | ||
| Jamie, do you mind looking that up? | ||
| Yeah, look that up. | ||
| Because it sounds like bullshit, but it's true. | ||
| She just remembered this other time, and she apparently identified aspects of that culture that they didn't believe at that point, but then later they realized she was right. | ||
| Or maybe she's crazy and she wants attention and this is what she does. | ||
| In order to be like the coolest version of the people that study Egypt, she pretends that in another life she lived there. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| Dun, dun, dun. | ||
| I'm not saying she is. | ||
| Relax, folks. | ||
| We're just talking. | ||
| Well, look, I mean, no, who are you going to make happy here? | ||
| Like, a huge group of people are like, shut the fuck up, hippie! | ||
| And a huge group of people are like, come on, Joe, it's reincarnation! | ||
| Stop being such a cuck! | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But, you know, it is the... | ||
| You can't make everybody happy, Duncan. | ||
| Regardless of, like, the... | ||
| The girl who rose from the dead with memories of ancient Egypt. | ||
| Oh, what year is this? | ||
| Hold, please. | ||
| 1904, I don't believe a fucking word of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Back then, they believed in chiropractors. | ||
| They believed in a lot of shit. | ||
| I still believe in chiropractor. | ||
| Well, look, I mean, regardless, I do think like... | ||
| From my perspective, that's just good karma. | ||
| We call it whatever you want to call it, but to be sort of... | ||
| I think anything that you're drawn to like that, whether it's like, you know, religious imagery or whether it's a style of literature or whatever, you're supposed to... | ||
| That's like the X marks the spot. | ||
| Like, you're supposed to go deep into it to understand. | ||
| Because, you know, those images, there's so much associated with those images. | ||
| They're fractals. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the fractal contains within it all the scriptures. | ||
| And so, you know, the scriptures, when you convert them into imagery, they turn into a Ganesh or a Buddha. | ||
| Because it's all the same. | ||
| It's like the way if you make ice hot. | ||
| It turns into water. | ||
| But if you make it water hot, it turns into steam. | ||
| In the same way, the dharma, as they call it, it appears in these specific ways. | ||
| And one of them looks like that imagery. | ||
| It's just one of the ways this data set condenses into matter. | ||
| Well, it appears when you're under the influence of psychedelics. | ||
| That's the weirdest thing for me. | ||
| My first psychedelic trip ever, there was an infinite number of Buddhas in a lotus position. | ||
| There were these golden Buddhas floating around. | ||
| They represented perfect symmetry with the way they were seated. | ||
| Because they're seated in a lotus position, and from the top of their head, the peak of their head, it went straight down, and they were floating and moving all around in synchronicity, and I was like, whoa! | ||
| It was heavy! | ||
| And they didn't want... | ||
| You had to abandon... | ||
| This is the first thing I remember about the DMT experience, the first one with the Golden Buddha, which is literally why I got this tattoo. | ||
| Because it was one of the most profound moments of my life. | ||
| Because it was the first time where I felt 100% clear that there was no room for bullshitting anybody. | ||
| You can get by with charisma, and you can say things the right way, and you can pretend, and maybe have a little bit of luck, and maybe have some genetic gifts for certain things, but who are you? | ||
| What are you? | ||
| Who are you really? | ||
| And you realize, oh my god, I'm carrying around all this nonsense for no reason. | ||
| And it don't work on them anyway. | ||
| When you get over there and all those Buddhas were floating in and around me, they knew I didn't sleep as much as I did. | ||
| They knew I used my phone more than I say I do. | ||
| They know everything. | ||
| They know all the lies and all the painful memories of regret that you have from the time you could remember from being five. | ||
| I hit my cousin in the face with a bag of cookies when I was five and I still feel bad about it. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I feel bad about it. | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| How big was the bag? | ||
| It wasn't very big. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| I hit him with the bag and the cookies went flying. | ||
| They hit the dirt. | ||
| And then we couldn't eat the cookies. | ||
| And I was so mad. | ||
| He was bigger than me. | ||
| My cousin was bigger than me. | ||
| And he was upsetting me. | ||
| And I remember I just grabbed a cookie bag and fucking swung it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But when the cookies went flat out, I felt so bad. | |
| And that was one of the first times that I had ever made an epic mistake, where everybody around me wanted these cookies. | ||
| Because we were in New Jersey, and there was these delis, or bakeries rather, that would make bread, and we'd go with my grandfather all the time to get bread, and we would get cookies and little pastries, and I would look forward to them so much. | ||
| But my cousin was fucking with me. | ||
| And I just wanted to swing on him. | ||
| And I needed something to hit him with. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I was like five years old. | ||
| But I remember that. | ||
| Like that kind of thing. | ||
| Like that kind of regret. | ||
| Like it stays with you. | ||
| Like your whole life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that intense? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And you, you, that, that, so what happens is you start, that's, you start thinking that's who you are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's so loud and it's just, you just naturally start thinking like, oh yeah, I'm, that's me. | ||
| I'm that regret. | ||
| And so in that is the, that's how you become a person is you start, you know, picking out the loudest aspects You focus on that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And assemble it. | ||
| Now you've got a personality. | ||
| This is the shit you put in your Twitter bio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, I forgive, but I never forget. | |
| Now you've got to stick to that fucking rule. | ||
| And you know what I mean? | ||
| Now this is a rule you just made for yourself. | ||
| Just saying, this is what I must be like. | ||
| And it's like no different than like... | ||
| When you have your imaginary friend and you're like, Lika, he enjoys dancing. | ||
| It's like, well, that's not anything there. | ||
| Or that sheet you put on Instagram. | ||
| Yeah, it's the guy who fucking sold the sculpture. | ||
| It was a zero thing. | ||
| Nothing's there. | ||
| It didn't exist. | ||
| He sold it for $18,000. | ||
| But this is why I love that symbol of art that he did because I think it's a critique of what lots of people are doing. | ||
| Or I think it's a drug dealer looking to launder money. | ||
| It's an easy way to do it because there's no object. | ||
| Where's that fucking sculpture? | ||
| Why can't it be both? | ||
| It doesn't even exist. | ||
| You can actually launder money and make a social critique simultaneously. | ||
| That's what fucking art is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can launder money and make a social critique simultaneously. | |
| That's what fucking art is. | ||
| They're not mutually exclusive! | ||
| Put that in quotes and let's make t-shirts. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| You gotta move here. | ||
| I can't do this without you. | ||
| You have to move here. | ||
| Don't torture me. | ||
| Let's just do one a week. | ||
| One a week? | ||
| We just got my... | ||
| I'd love to, by the way. | ||
| I'd love to, too. | ||
| I think we can sort things out. | ||
| I think when I get the most ultimate cancellation and then all the other celebrities aren't willing to come on the podcast anymore, just you and me. | ||
| Okay, you're not going to get... | ||
| People love you. | ||
| You're not going to get... | ||
| You're just in a little bit of trouble. | ||
| You get in trouble. | ||
| I get in a little bit of trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get in trouble! | |
| I get in a little bit of trouble. | ||
| Yeah, every time I'm on fucking Twitter, it's like, God damn it. | ||
| You should stay off Twitter. | ||
| Well, yeah, well, you know... | ||
| Listen, but we were talking about before with, like, Russians and bots and Chinese and bots and all these things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The problem with Twitter is... | ||
| I'm sorry, man. | ||
| My wig's falling off. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's annoying. | |
| Just a wig break. | ||
| People are probably done with this anyway. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I've not done all this for the next many years. | ||
| Ah, freedom. | ||
| Bald druids, right? | ||
| Aren't they like monks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, that's... | ||
| Aren't they bald? | ||
| The problem with Twitter is the same problem with how easy it is to pretend you're a person on Twitter because it's so impersonal and so little of you comes through in text that it's easy to start thinking of people like their text It's easy to say mean things or be disrespectful or dismissive or completely lack compassion. | ||
| And as a person who's been the subject of it, it's fascinating. | ||
| And my strategy has always been like, I'm just going to just not pay attention to this. | ||
| Because I don't want to argue with anybody. | ||
| I genuinely try to be the best person I can be, and like all of us, I'm flawed. | ||
| And I know what my intentions are, and I know how I try to go about business and life, and I try to be as nice as possible. | ||
| That's my goal. | ||
| So when I see people communicating the way they communicate on Twitter, I'm like, there is no way that that syncs up with my view of the world, and I can't argue on it either. | ||
| Like, if you argue on Twitter, then you're synced up to this really low vibration. | ||
| Now, here's the problem. | ||
| Occasionally, it's a resource. | ||
| Occasionally, you learn some really interesting stuff. | ||
| You see a funny meme, someone informs you about a documentary or a book that you really, you read it and like, holy shit, thank you so much. | ||
| Occasionally, it does that. | ||
| But it also harbors so much negative thinking. | ||
| It's so bad for the people that are slinging that shit. | ||
| You're just thinking about it all day long. | ||
| That's all they're thinking about, and they're engaged in some sort of verbal battle. | ||
| And the problem is I know a lot of them independently, right? | ||
| So I know I'm outside of Twitter, and I'm talking to them, and they're on medication, and they're doing all kinds of weird things to deal with their anxiety, and I'm like, hey man, do you ever think part of that? | ||
| Might be this battleground you're engaging in, this impersonal, emotionless battleground where it's 70% insults. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Dude, I saw the Dalai Lama speak in Anaheim. | ||
| How long ago? | ||
| Long time ago. | ||
| I was on Mushrooms. | ||
| It was fucking crazy. | ||
| But one of the things he said was... | ||
| And you know, it's weird, because again, this is stuff you hear, this is stuff that anyone could say, but somehow when it's coming out of the Dalai Lama, who, by the way, has this translator who's been with him forever, and you see those two on stage together, and then you will understand what Buddhism looks like, because it's not serious, it's not heavy, they're talking to each other to translate, they're laughing to each other as they're translating. | ||
| It's just so in the moment and fun, and you look at that and you're like, Oh, that's not the boring thing that I thought it was. | ||
| This is alive and sweet and fun, and they're enjoying what they're doing. | ||
| It's really, really cool. | ||
| But one of the things that came up was this issue of when someone insults you, when someone says something shitty to you. | ||
| And I don't remember the question, but someone's asking this question. | ||
| The way the Dalai Lama put it was, they don't know you, number one, but what you're seeing is an echo. | ||
| Someone did that to them, it got inside of them, and then it is echoing. | ||
| They're like the wall of a weird, infinite, geometric cave, and this wave of negativity is bouncing off of them, bouncing to you, and you have a choice to react to it as though it were real. | ||
| And if you do, you become solid enough to bounce it onto somebody else or realize what it is. | ||
| You're just looking at an echo. | ||
| Once you realize that, you don't feel as defensive. | ||
| If it's a person attacking you and you feel like, I've got to defend against this person, but if you realize, really, Most people, when they're saying shitty things to other people, they don't know that person because they don't know themselves. | ||
| Well, the problem is even if they do, like Louis C.K. said something that's really appropriate here. | ||
| We were talking about it. | ||
| He goes, it's just talk. | ||
| He goes, it seems like it's different because it's written down, but it's just talk, which is one of the most ultimate Louis C.K. things to say. | ||
| People have always just said crazy shit, but it didn't necessarily mean anything. | ||
| But now, because it's written down, all of a sudden we think it means something, but it's basically just people talking shit, right? | ||
| But they're talking shit, and some people... | ||
| Unfortunately, it's like too much of their life. | ||
| I've been around too many people where they're hanging out with you in the middle of the day, and then they pull up Twitter, and you see their eyes gloss over, and they start arguing with someone on Twitter, and then they check it every five... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! | |
| They're talking to you, but then you have to check the Twitter. | ||
| I'm like, bro, this is not good for you. | ||
| It's like Paw Patrol for my toddler. | ||
| My wife's been putting off Paw Patrol now for a long time. | ||
| I didn't know what it was. | ||
| She's like, I don't like it. | ||
| She was a nanny, so she's like, I don't want to do Paw Patrol. | ||
| Finally, she's like, let's just do Paw Patrol. | ||
| We show them Paw Patrol. | ||
| Suddenly, Forrest is watching it. | ||
| I'm like, hey, Forrest, you want to go feed the crows? | ||
| Because in the morning, we feed the crows, and he doesn't answer. | ||
| He's looking, and she says to me, he's gone. | ||
| Paw Patrol now. | ||
| He's in Paw Patrol now. | ||
| But yeah, it is. | ||
| I think that's the real tragedy. | ||
| It's not so much the, you know, micro moments of feeling butt hurt because someone that you will never meet decided to say the meanest thing anyone ever said to you. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| But what really sucks is all those moments when you're completely glue-trapped into this technological opiate and you're not interacting with people around you. | ||
| And then also you're carrying the weight of whatever the particular thing is like, my god, it's not like everyone out there is just like, you know, there's some precise archers of pain out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're not talking about a shotgun scanner. | |
| This is not your mama jokes. | ||
| This is like surgically designed. | ||
| Yeah, Reddit assassins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, where you're just like, dear God, dear God, how do you know me so well? | |
| You're right. | ||
| You got me. | ||
| You got me. | ||
| But see, this is the difference between those Buddhas you saw and humans. | ||
| Because a human identifies that thing and, number one, pretends that it's weird that another human should have a... | ||
| Flaw, a paradox, a fucking contradiction, that they're not perfect. | ||
| And then for whatever reason, we'll also think, because you're not perfect in this specific way, I'm going to fucking do everything I can to expose and hurt you. | ||
| Whereas those things that you saw, they love you anyway. | ||
| They love it itself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And so this is the difference between- Humans are affected by demons is what you're trying to say. | |
| I'm saying... | ||
| Demons to keep you from loving. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'd say humans are not... | ||
| The demons are just a confusion. | ||
| It's not a demon. | ||
| It's like a confusion. | ||
| The confusion is... | ||
| I think surrounds what the nature of human identity really is. | ||
| It's a confusion. | ||
| It's a problem of... | ||
| The term ignorance comes up in Buddhism a lot and it doesn't mean like dumb. | ||
| It means active ignoring, right? | ||
| So like any given person has within them stuff they're not proud of, but not just not proud of like you'll admit it on a podcast, you know, like, man, I just love to like suck a woman's feet while I jerk off. | ||
| Is it the most appealing thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do I feel weird admitting that? | ||
| Not at all! | ||
| Who cares, right? | ||
| But I'm talking about the deep shit. | ||
| There's stuff you don't want to say. | ||
| You're literally so ashamed of it that you don't want to look at it yourself. | ||
| So that's called active ignoring. | ||
| And so what that does is sweeping the shit under the rug. | ||
| So then, now you're going through day-to-day ignoring whatever the fucking thing is. | ||
| You smack the person with cookies, which is not that big a deal. | ||
| Some people burnt their fucking grandparents' house down and never told anybody. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And so you're going day-to-day and you can't really... | ||
| You pretend you don't look at it. | ||
| You don't look at it. | ||
| You don't look at it. | ||
| And then, this is where aggression comes from. | ||
| It's because you are pretending you're Something. | ||
| And that takes so much energy, too, because you always have to, like, avert your eyes from this aspect of yourself that you consider to be subpar or whatever. | ||
| And so this produces all this aggression, but because you're not looking at it in yourself, you see it in someone else. | ||
| So now it's all reflected all around you. | ||
| Your entire life has become a disco ball upon which the shit you don't want to look at is being reflected back at you over and over and over again. | ||
| Now you're in hell! | ||
| Because the thing you thought you could just ignore is in your friends. | ||
| It's in the government. | ||
| It's in your dogs. | ||
| It's in every single thing. | ||
| Some version of it weirdly reflected. | ||
| So that's called the act of ignoring. | ||
| So one aspect of Buddhism is the invitation. | ||
| Look it in the eye. | ||
| See what happens. | ||
| What happens if you stop ignoring it and not just look at it like it's separate from you, be it. | ||
| Fully, completely. | ||
| Chogyam Trungpa calls it like, compares it to when you go out to the Badlands. | ||
| And yeah, is this a beautiful place by normal standards? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or even like volcanoes, like in Iceland where that volcanic eruption happened. | ||
| It's lava and cracked and inhospitable. | ||
| Is it like beautiful in the sense of Hawaii? | ||
| No. | ||
| But it's fucking beautiful. | ||
| And so when you start looking at the entirety of what you are, You stop focusing on the Hawaii side and give some equal attention to the fucking Mordor side and in that you become a real person and all of a sudden the people around you that you used to think were fucking like you know assholes or out to get you or this or that You stop seeing it in them anymore, and the reason is because you've acknowledged it in yourself. | ||
| This is the idea, and then maybe you can become like those Buddhas you saw. | ||
| Because when you've done that with yourself, and you see someone who thinks they're being clever and hiding the fucking thing, and the way I think I'm hiding my bald spot because I can't see it, and then when I'm trying on clothes, I see it in the mirror, and I'm like, oh my god! | ||
| Does everyone see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| They see it whenever they're there. | ||
| You're walking in front of them. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But anyway, so that's the idea. | ||
| And then you can love people. | ||
| Not because they're perfect, but because you see, oh, they're just like me. | ||
| They have shit that they're hiding from themselves. | ||
| They have shit they're embarrassed about. | ||
| They have shit they're working on. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Can I ask you this? | ||
| Do you think that there's something that's happening with the understanding of this, for the most part? | ||
| A lot of what you're saying resonates with people. | ||
| It resonates with me. | ||
| I'm sure it resonates with a lot of people that have embarrassing moments or disappointing moments in their life. | ||
| And they just don't like who they used to be. | ||
| And they want to move forward. | ||
| Whether it's whatever it is. | ||
| Losing weight. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| It's applicable to anything. | ||
| Kicking addiction. | ||
| Do you think that this and this new ability to discuss shit like this, like where in pop culture did this conversation ever get to take place up until now? | ||
| In terms of the past, in terms of like, if you wanted to reach millions of people, how the fuck could you do this on VH1? How the fuck could you do this on MTV? Oh, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's not their fault, but it's not what their business was. | ||
| How could you do it on CBS or NBC? How could you do it on Fox? | ||
| You couldn't. | ||
| But it's not their fault, right? | ||
| That's not what they do. | ||
| They do something different. | ||
| So here you are talking about this and a lot of people are like, yeah, but why do you think of yourself as who you were when you were 16? | ||
| Or why do you think about yourself who you were when you were five, hitting your cousin in the head with a bag of cookies? | ||
| Why do you think about yourself like that? | ||
| What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| It's weird. | ||
| It's memory, but it's also... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a thing where the engine that tries to improve your life can get out of control and start gobbling up things it doesn't necessarily need to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it starts taking over all the various aspects of life. | ||
| You meet someone who's amazing, but they're also super hypercritical and they hate themselves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, listen. | ||
| I think you're fucking awesome. | ||
| Dude, why don't you like yourself? | ||
| So many people like you. | ||
| You've got to re-tweak this thing. | ||
| Turn it to the left. | ||
| Click, click, click, click. | ||
| You're out of alignment. | ||
| And you see it. | ||
| But you can't re-tweak it. | ||
| I don't know about that, man. | ||
| No, I mean, I don't mean there's no hope. | ||
| I mean, like, Pema Chodron, there's a great book. | ||
| It's called The Wizard of No Escape. | ||
| But in the very beginning, she says these people, they take up this process of meditation because they want to become better people. | ||
| This is an aggression to yourself as you are right now. | ||
| It goes back to this idea of like, the thing here, and this is not to say, so therefore we don't improve, but the idea is like, right now, what happens if, because the thing you're talking about, the tortured mind, the way the mind produces thoughts, | ||
| the way the tongue salivates, it just produces an infinite form of thoughts, an array of thoughts, many of which are completely mundane, some of which are horrible, It's horrifying, some of which are just basic day-to-day bullshit that you have to do, but it's always doing this thought production situation within which is encapsulated all of your neuroses, all of your complexes, all the things that you feel awful about, all the karmic shit from your whole life, right? | ||
| So if you begin to realize, oh shit, that's in me, but I'm not sure it is me, And then you start attacking it. | ||
| In other words, you're like, try to fix it. | ||
| It's a project now. | ||
| So I'm going to take this thing in my mind. | ||
| I'm going to fix it. | ||
| Now you're interacting with it. | ||
| You're affirming it in the affirmation. | ||
| It becomes more condensed and crystallized. | ||
| Then you become a person who's deeply engaged in the process of getting better. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever run into those people. | ||
| They've been reading self-help books for the last 30 years. | ||
| They're just constantly like, I'm working on myself. | ||
| The only thing that really shows is where are you? | ||
| What have you done? | ||
| That's what shows. | ||
| What have you done? | ||
| Where did you used to be? | ||
| Where are you at now? | ||
| Like right now, where are you at and why are you there? | ||
| Are you there because you just got kicked out of your parents' house and you're trying to get back on your feet? | ||
| Or are you there because you're 40 and you've made every wrong decision over and over and over again and you're mad at everybody around you but you're not mad at yourself? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yes, and the invitation here is instead of coming to that conclusion, which is called waking up out of a dream, you wake up, you're like, oh my fucking God. | ||
| It was all a dream. | ||
| I used to read Word Up magazine. | ||
| And you wake up, and suddenly you're like, man, I used to read Word Up magazine, now I can't pay my fucking mortgage. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is happening. | ||
| And so again, in that moment, a lot of people feel intense shame. | ||
| Intense shame, intense guilt. | ||
| So the idea is, the first step is like, and then in that intense shame and guilt, how are you going to treat people around you? | ||
| Like shit, because you're hurting. | ||
| So the first step is, at the very least, do this wonderful thought experiment. | ||
| To me, it's more than a thought experiment, but it's like what my guru, Neem Karoli Baba talked about. | ||
| By the way, when you can just casually say my guru, that's what my guru, Neem Karoli Baba said. | ||
| You know, that guy. | ||
| Whatever, whatever. | ||
| I'll just keep talking. | ||
| I tried to say it super fast so you wouldn't notice it. | ||
| You've said it to me a thousand times! | ||
| I auctioneered it this time, because I'm like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What'd you say? | |
| Neem Krolli Baba. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, so the idea is, it's really an intense idea, and these days it's weirdly controversial, and there's certain times when it's not the right thing to say to people, but essentially the idea is where you're at is perfect. | ||
| Play around with that just for fun. | ||
| Give yourself one minute. | ||
| After the one minute you can go back to whipping yourself with the fucking belt of your mind because you didn't make the right choices or you're a bad boy or a bad girl. | ||
| But for a minute, play around with the idea that where you're at is perfect. | ||
| It's exactly where you need to be. | ||
| You're there in the same way people go to a gym. | ||
| Because this situation is going to teach you everything you need to know about the universe and start living your life from that perspective. | ||
| So in other words, you don't become passive and think, oh, this is perfect. | ||
| I'm addicted to fucking meth and my apartment is covered in cat shit. | ||
| No, it doesn't mean you just leave it like that, but instead of beating yourself up for it, just allow that to be perfect and then see how you start acting. | ||
| You know, man, when I've started taking these fucking vitamins and, like, you know, I've been drinking more water and trying to eat better because the pandemic, I got a little unhealthy and now I'm feeling, like, good. | ||
| And when I'm feeling good, I'm nicer to people. | ||
| It's just how it is. | ||
| If I feel good, I'm going to be kind. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| So anyway, this is the idea. | ||
| First, just let yourself be where you're at. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| In fact, you've been invited to the most incredible academy that ever was. | ||
| And the form that you've been invited to it in And the situation that you're in right now, just forget the idea. | ||
| You caused this from a lot of decisions you made in the past. | ||
| Half the time you were fucking asleep. | ||
| You didn't know what you were doing. | ||
| You were scared. | ||
| You were running from something. | ||
| You were fucking so angry at your parents. | ||
| Dealing with your childhood, the way you were raised and taught and trained. | ||
| It's like when I got on... | ||
| At one point when I was combating insomnia and I got on Ambien. | ||
| And fuck that shit, man. | ||
| Talk to me about that. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| I got on Ambien. | ||
| You know, Kevin James told me he went to the supermarket and bought food and came home and cooked it and doesn't remember any of it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Well, Ambien's... | ||
| I think he went to the supermarket. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| Cooked a fucking meal. | ||
| It fucking sucks. | ||
| Was ready to call the cops in the morning. | ||
| Thought someone broke into his house and cooked dinner. | ||
| Not for me, man. | ||
| It's like, because it's like you want to sleep. | ||
| It's like a disassociative, right? | ||
| It's like you teleport from when you close your eyes and you teleport to the next morning. | ||
| No rest, just as though you jump through time. | ||
| How do you feel? | ||
| It's fucking awful, if you're me, but to be fully honest, that was when I was addicted to ketamine, so I was on a bit of a rampage, man, I will admit, so it's hard to say it was necessarily because of ketamine. | ||
| Oh, what a fucking funny aside. | ||
| Full disclosure. | ||
| That's a hilarious aside. | ||
| But I remember the next morning my wife being like, well, do you know what you did last night? | ||
| And I'm like, no. | ||
| And she's like, well, you kept calling a temple in Bhutan. | ||
| So, like, I was like, I look at my phone and I was just calling this fucking beautiful temple in Bhutan, you know, many times. | ||
| I don't know what I was trying to do there, what was happening, but yeah, fuck Ambien, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But the point is, like, Maybe not fuck Ambien. | |
| Maybe while you were doing that, maybe the problem with Ambien is not Ambien. | ||
| The problem is that Ambien only projects to everybody watching the reality of this carbon-based life. | ||
| But when you're on Ambien and you're calling that temple, you're trying to mind-sync with a lot of these Buddhas. | ||
| If they got on the phone with you, you're like, Hey man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm fucking hanging out here in Georgia and was thinking I'd like to join! | |
| I'm Addicted Academy! | ||
| Can you help me Buddha? | ||
| Through the phone, you don't even remember it. | ||
| You wake up, you don't even feel like you slept. | ||
| It's because you've been tripping balls all night with some Buddha. | ||
| Well, yeah, I mean, I would love to believe that. | ||
| I think probably what happened is I was one of many fucking high people who probably leave an answering machine every night at that place. | ||
| Stop being so hard on yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will! | |
| Maybe you're a psychic. | ||
| Well, look, you know, man, I think these days the big trick is just kind of temporarily... | ||
| Give up the project of crucifying all the people that you view as being, like, villainous, and realize that you've kind of been crucifying yourself, and you're not fooling anybody. | ||
| We all know that you have been tormenting yourself, and really you've been so hard. | ||
| A lot of people don't have a mom. | ||
| I see the way my mom, that's a fucked up Freudian slip. | ||
| I see the way my wife acts with a child and that love. | ||
| And then the children just eat it up, eat it up. | ||
| It's like watching like rain fall. | ||
| And it's like, I think how many people in the world do not have that situation. | ||
| They don't have it. | ||
| No one's loving them like that. | ||
| No one's eating them up and loving them no matter what. | ||
| And no one taught them to do it for themselves. | ||
| Oh, God, it's a disaster, man. | ||
| And because of that, they secretly think they're just abject failures. | ||
| They're comparing themselves to, like, LeBron James. | ||
| You know, like, when I'm writing, I compare myself to, like, Bukowski. | ||
| And I'll look at my writing and be like, this is the worst writing I've ever seen in my life! | ||
| Well, no shit, because you're comparing yourself to, like, one of the greatest writers that ever lived. | ||
| And so, in my opinion. | ||
| And so, anyway, all I'm saying is, like, damn, on a planetary level... | ||
| Take, you don't have to tell anyone you're doing it, but let's fucking have a little, like, a little armistice, like on that Christmas Eve when the, I think it was the French and the Germans, it was Christmas Eve. | ||
| They all played football together or whatever they played? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Let's have a little armistice and for a second, like, just... | ||
| Give yourself an hour of not thinking you're the most secretly rotten piece of shit that ever wandered across the planet and just realize you deserve all the love in the world and where you're at is just great and like you're great and I know no matter what you're like someone's listening to this who's like actively who's probably got a bowl of like hot dog shit they're just They're just eating it. | ||
| But even that, just give yourself a break. | ||
| I'm not saying start some bullshit sweet nonsense like be nicer to the people around you. | ||
| I'm saying just give yourself a 30 minute respite from the never ending constant secret self-loathing horror you've been subjecting yourself to because that's going to be a great 30 minutes. | ||
| Yeah, and if you can do that, you'll probably have this inclination towards, like, spreading that to other people. | ||
| I would say that could be an inevitable result of that, but even if it's not, even if you immediately go back to like... | ||
| To be in a good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you, motherfucker! | |
| I hate your voice. | ||
| I've never heard a more annoying voice than your voice. | ||
| Whatever, go back to it. | ||
| Go back to the war and enjoy it. | ||
| Dear Joe Rogan, why do you have that cuck with that fake voice on your show spouting out Marxist nonsense? | ||
| Yeah, it's not fucking Marxism. | ||
| He's got a fucking Illuminati ring, bro. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I wore the fucking Illuminati ring. | ||
| I got it at this wonderful store in Nashville. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jesus God, it's scary. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| My instincts are on point, though. | ||
| My reflexes. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, yeah. | ||
| Nothing's dropped. | ||
| Stop shit. | ||
| Catch it. | ||
| Hey, dude, did you see that naked girl attack the fucking outbox? | ||
| I heard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Started throwing things and bottles of wine and shit. | ||
| You gotta watch the video. | ||
| Can we watch the video? | ||
| Okay, yeah, let's watch it. | ||
| I saw it like briefly on Instagram and I didn't continue watching. | ||
| I've limited my Instagram intake to positive things only. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm not sure this is entirely negative. | ||
| And occasional car accidents. | ||
| You know, the problem with a lot of these videos, man, is you don't get the backstory. | ||
| And that to me is like, I really want to know why she decided to attack this outback. | ||
| Because she put on... | ||
| Well, I have to blame her parents, first of all. | ||
| Did you see the couple that fell off the balcony? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, that was horrible. | ||
| That was horrible. | ||
| They're probably dead. | ||
| No, they survived. | ||
| They survived. | ||
| The impact of the head. | ||
| They survived. | ||
| They had, like, bad injuries, but they survived. | ||
| She's 53. I didn't think that was the case. | ||
| She's 53? | ||
| She actually looks pretty good. | ||
| She looks great. | ||
| Yeah, for 53. No, I think she just looks great. | ||
| She's out of her mind. | ||
| No, wait, that's... | ||
| Did you tase her? | ||
| That's way into it. | ||
| Okay, that's way into it. | ||
| You gotta see the... | ||
| Did this go to the beginning? | ||
| That video didn't happen. | ||
| Oh, that's where it started? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why did you tase her like that? | ||
| Well, because she was running at him and she had been like, you gotta see the video before and you'll understand. | ||
| Like, it wasn't like... | ||
| He should have just gave her his number. | ||
| So let's let him get off at 6. Give her the number after you tase her. | ||
| Let's go have coffee. | ||
| Sit down, talk about how you got naked at the Outback Steakhouse. | ||
| I've got passes. | ||
| I've got Applebee's discount coupons. | ||
| You should be like a counselor. | ||
| That's the thing they say about police. | ||
| A lot of times these mental health issues, this is one of the defund the police ideas. | ||
| They need mental health counselors, not police to do that kind of work. | ||
| Dude, I've seen it work. | ||
| I've seen it work. | ||
| Mental health counselors? | ||
| I'm going to tell you a burning- That's what I'm saying about that guy. | ||
| Yes, I agree with that. | ||
| I'll tell you a Burning Man story that'll make you make fun of me for a little bit if you want to hear it. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, one a week. | |
| One a week. | ||
| That's all I'm asking for. | ||
| So if Burning Man, like, oh wait, let's just watch this. | ||
| Fuck the Burning Man story. | ||
| It goes right to the guy. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, maybe they cut it out. | ||
| They think the funniest part is when she gets tasered. | ||
| The guy did not need to taser her, man. | ||
| Like, honestly. | ||
| Does he really need to taser her? | ||
| You gotta watch the whole thing. | ||
| She was throwing bottles at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did she say about my sister? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Call Brian Casey. | ||
| God, poor Brian Casey. | ||
| Brian done had a sexual relationship with the wrong lady. | ||
| Call Brian Casey. | ||
| I like how she's got sneakers on, but totally naked. | ||
| I think those are flip-flops. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| I thought she had a bikini on when I first saw it, but apparently not. | ||
| But that would be the move. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The bikini's the move? | ||
| The move, yeah. | ||
| You make your point. | ||
| You don't have to go to jail. | ||
| I think you go to jail. | ||
| It doesn't matter what you're wearing if you're demolishing a bar. | ||
| But yeah, she was like hurling bottles at him and then he pays her. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's how it goes, man. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Well, you hang out with one of them gals. | ||
| That's how it goes. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| A lot of fun in the beginning, not so much fun at the end. | ||
| That was a bad swipe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody swiped the wrong way. | ||
| No narcotics in her system, outside of THC, it says. | ||
| Yeah, outside of being out of her fucking mind. | ||
| You don't have to have narcotics to be crazy. | ||
| That sucks to, like, own a bar and someone calls and is like, yeah, it's like no different from, like, a bear getting in your house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or does it? | |
| They should have their watermark on that bar. | ||
| It'd be worth a million dollars in advertising. | ||
| It's a fucking NFT. Right. | ||
| Sell it. | ||
| It's an NFT. Make yourself some Dogecoin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dogecoin. | ||
| I just invested in Doge. | ||
| I thought it was Doge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever. | |
| You're probably right. | ||
| I'm not paying attention. | ||
| You gotta invest. | ||
| We gotta drive up the price. | ||
| I got in at 36 cents. | ||
| It seems like Anonymous is mad at Elon Musk for tweeting about Bitcoin and fucking around, right? | ||
| I didn't know Anonymous was- But is that real? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Here's the thing. | ||
| What's the source of Anonymous? | ||
| That might be artificial intelligence from Russia that created some video to try to make us think that some people out there are really mad about Elon. | ||
| Typing that in, typing anonymous mad at Elon, 24 hours ago story on the same website says anonymous accuses Elon Musk of destroying lives. | ||
| Updated five hours ago, anonymous denies involvement in anti-Elon Musk video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, anybody can make a video and say I'm anonymous. | ||
| and I think that Elon Musk should eat shit or I'm going to blow the planet up. | ||
| How many times, honestly, how many times have you secretly thought I'm gonna make an anonymous video? | ||
| I mean, who the fuck is the anonymous spokesperson? | ||
| Are we sure? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| Are we sure this is the anonymous spokesperson? | ||
| How the fuck do we know? | ||
| Wendy's on Tunnel Road in Nashville. | ||
| Your time has come. | ||
| Yeah, just like, who's the boss here? | ||
| You guys have to have a president like the NRA. You can't just run around. | ||
| You can't just run around and call yourself anonymous. | ||
| I did see a story yesterday. | ||
| Not as deep as this, but there are ransomware attacks happening. | ||
| Not just like that gas pipeline, but there are multiple cities. | ||
| There's like a hospital that was going to have all of their records deleted within five days or something. | ||
| Sorry, Jamie. | ||
| No, go ahead. | ||
| I didn't mean to cut you off. | ||
| There's like a $55,000 payment they're requesting. | ||
| Well, they attacked the meat supply, right? | ||
| Meat supply, gas. | ||
| They attacked the gas supply. | ||
| They just called this like small town. | ||
| And the small town, like, they paid, but they were like, look, we can only get together $8,000. | ||
| You hit up the wrong people here. | ||
| But let's look at this. | ||
| Let's look at this honestly. | ||
| Think about what happened with just right here in Texas when the power went out for a week and everybody panicked. | ||
| Think of what would have happened if the power grid collapsed. | ||
| Like they said, it was like minutes away from collapsing. | ||
| Think of what would happen if that's nationwide. | ||
| Think of what would happen if somehow or another China or Russia figured out a way to collapse our power grid through some sort of computer device. | ||
| Think about instead of China or Russia, one rogue hacker that decided he wanted to do it. | ||
| Forget about a nation. | ||
| What about someone who's doing it for the lulz? | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| This is... | ||
| This is why, this is one of the Fermi Paradox things, man, which is like, if you look at human personalities, most of us, when we get a technology, we're totally cool with it. | ||
| I grew up in the South. | ||
| My dad had a fucking arsenal. | ||
| I've never seen so many guns. | ||
| He had the number of guns a general in Eastern Europe would need. | ||
| That many guns. | ||
| The worst thing that happened to him is apparently he was hunting doves, hit a vulture, and it threw up on his face. | ||
| It's like my mom would happily tell that story after the divorce. | ||
| But that's it with the guns. | ||
| But one tiny percentage of us is so insane that we're going to take that fucking thing and ruin it for everybody else. | ||
| So that is a problem because right now it's guns and definitely computers for sure. | ||
| People have already been using computers to do more than just like, I'm going to make a cool app where you can learn how to code. | ||
| People have obviously been using computers, like the people who made the early computer viruses. | ||
| I used to work in my computer lab at my college and I had like a cork board of viruses that I like found in computers in the early days just for fun, you know, it's cool. | ||
| But like, so clearly people are going to do that with computers. | ||
| So, okay, CRISPR gene editing. | ||
| Oh yeah, right now, if I wouldn't know how to get all the shit I need to have whatever a CRISPR gene editing thing is, I would never in a million years probably be able to get the stuff to do gain of function, you know, genetic engineering on things. | ||
| But what about in 20 years? | ||
| What about in 50 years? | ||
| Eventually, if we have around the entire planet, one person who's butt hurt, That's the apocalypse. | ||
| That's the apocalypse. | ||
| So this is the Fermi paradox where they say, like, why aren't we seeing things out there in the universe? | ||
| It's because on these planets where they developed a technology that could easily have created a utopia, there was one supreme asshole who was like, let me see what happens if I fuck with the mousepox again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then just everyone dead. | ||
| Well, you know, I had a bit about that. | ||
| It's that episode of Black Mirror. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right. | |
| That's why he gets all that DNA from everyone he hates. | ||
| Goddamn, that's a good movie. | ||
| Have you ever seen that episode of Black Mirror? | ||
| I didn't finish the episode. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's how it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so good. | |
| I don't want to say anything. | ||
| I don't want to say anything. | ||
| You've got to watch it. | ||
| Watching that made me so nervous I couldn't finish it. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I can't get through some Black Mirror episodes. | ||
| I got a piece so bad. | ||
| I'm going to come back. | ||
| You guys talk about Black Mirror, but I do have a point. | ||
| What were we just talking about so I can remember? | ||
| Viruses, Fermi Paradox, Super Apocalypse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Got it, got it, got it. | ||
| I gotta pee so bad. | ||
| Go pee, man. | ||
| Usually it's me. | ||
| I feel kind of... | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| Yeah, we had two shows today. | ||
| So you're just playing golf now. | ||
| You're out of video games? | ||
| Oh yeah, hard turn. | ||
| Am I allowed to say that, Jamie? | ||
| No, I'm adding that to it. | ||
| I've always done most Tiger Woods golf back in the day. | ||
| Have you started buying clubs? | ||
| Oh yeah, I went for a fitting. | ||
| I have two drivers now. | ||
| How much does a driver cost? | ||
| They can go up to... | ||
| I mean, really, I've learned... | ||
| I'm learning... | ||
| I'm diving headfirst into this. | ||
| They can go up to probably a couple thousand dollars, but that's a driver head, the shaft, the grip... | ||
| Dude, okay, so I had a friend a long time ago who played Burzum to me, you know, like death. | ||
| People always, it's doom metal or death. | ||
| It's like intense, heavy-duty, hardcore music. | ||
| And he played it for me when I was really high, and I was like, ugh. | ||
| And he said, like, do you feel the pole? | ||
| Do you feel it? | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god, I feel it. | ||
| It's like hypnotic. | ||
| It like draws you in. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how I feel about golf! | |
| It's close, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's scary! | |
| Like, you feel this—I don't know, because to me, when I look at it, I think, that seems like something you should have to pay people to do. | ||
| It's like you're hitting a ball, and it's like, with the tools you're using, you're horrible for— You could pick it up, but so many people have given over their entire lives to this thing, indicating it's got to be the most joyful thing on Earth. | ||
| But why? | ||
| What makes it so... | ||
| I'm starting to think about it recently, comparing to every other sport. | ||
| The thing I've got onto right now is that it's you versus nature. | ||
| You versus yourself, but it's also you versus nature. | ||
| Because the day you go out there has a lot to do with everything that's going to happen. | ||
| Wind, sun, rain... | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That, and then can you conquer that? | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| Can you take the course over? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It gets a little way too much. | ||
| I'm not that deep into it. | ||
| No, but most people, when they're playing pool, most of the conditions are controlled for it. | ||
| Yeah, that's all inside. | ||
| So it's you versus yourself more than that. | ||
| Bowling. | ||
| Controlled conditions. | ||
| Locked into a space. | ||
| But this is the whole, you have 7,000 yards of space to fuck around in. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And suck. | ||
| Suck a lot. | ||
| You suck so hard. | ||
| You always suck, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But you never get better. | ||
| You talking about golf? | ||
| Yeah, he just started bringing it up, so hey. | ||
| Yeah, Jamie's obsessed with hitting the ball far right here. | ||
| Aren't you afraid of getting sucked into golf, man? | ||
| I'm terrified. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I don't play it. | ||
| But I can't play pool that much. | ||
| I'm getting a pool table installed here soon, but I've been avoiding pool. | ||
| I'm gonna try it. | ||
| I can't have the video games. | ||
| We did the video games for a few months, and I was like... | ||
| You get too hooked. | ||
| Daddy can't have the video games. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We got problems. | ||
| Because you start feeling crazy. | ||
| You start feeling like, what am I doing? | ||
| Dude, I'm fucking crazy. | ||
| That, to me, is like protecting my children against wolves. | ||
| It becomes this obsessive thing where it's like, I've got to protect the tribe. | ||
| You get locked into these goddamn games because they're so exciting. | ||
| I wish I wasn't such a simpleton, because if I could just play for like one hour and stop, I cannot. | ||
| Because at one hour, I start getting a better feel of where my cursor's going. | ||
| When I'm moving the mouse around, I get a better understanding of strafe jumping and how to aim with my railgun. | ||
| Can't do it. | ||
| Same. | ||
| I'm too dumb. | ||
| I get too excited. | ||
| I get too locked in. | ||
| And there's the realization that that's more fun than anything else I do ever. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Other than like beautiful things involving people that you love dearly, like real love and emotions and real moments, like regular shit you do like watch TV is never exciting as a game of Quake. | ||
| If you and I were sitting in front of two monitors, playing Quake, calling each other pussies, yelling at each other, laughing when we died, it's a cackling, ridiculous fun time. | ||
| We would walk out of that studio and our fucking heart would be beaten too fast. | ||
| As I've gotten into golf, this is what it's about, really. | ||
| It's about hanging out with three of your friends, playing terribly, but drinking beer and talking shit for four or five hours. | ||
| That's what it's really- Do you dress up in the golf wear? | ||
| Only if you have to. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He has to. | ||
| That's my rule. | ||
| Because you kind of actually do have to. | ||
| They won't let you play. | ||
| He has to wear plaid pants and knee high socks. | ||
| You have to! | ||
| There are weird rules. | ||
| I just heard there's a rule. | ||
| I need to have it explained to me, but in England and Scotland, on some of these courses, if you don't Turn in your card with your handicap correctly written with your score, you're going to be like banned from the course. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you won't even be allowed to play again. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't want to say it because I don't want to like shit talk on here. | ||
| The point is like golf people are a little uptight. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Okay, I'm saying a friend of mine. | ||
| You're saying they're secretly gay? | ||
| A friend of mine. | ||
| No, I'm not saying that. | ||
| That's what I got out of it. | ||
| No! | ||
| That's what I got out of the way you were saying it. | ||
| It seemed like that's what you meant. | ||
| Most people who work at golf shops, I have made love. | ||
| Male or female. | ||
| Thank God you're the first one to say it. | ||
| I was going to say, like, they're erotic. | ||
| I think everybody's going to go, me too. | ||
| It's going to be like that scene in Toy Story. | ||
| Look, what's more erotic than golf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| A sentence that's never been said. | ||
| Some people love it. | ||
| But some golfers, they're uptight is what I'm saying. | ||
| Are golfers uptight? | ||
| Well, it's very fancy. | ||
| There's a movie. | ||
| I think about it all the time. | ||
| It's why I think I even like it at all. | ||
| It's called Tin Cup. | ||
| Kevin Costner's in it. | ||
| Oh yeah, I remember that. | ||
| It's about in Texas golf. | ||
| There's two modes in it. | ||
| He's like this laid-back golf pro. | ||
| Doesn't give a shit about a lot of things. | ||
| And Susan Sarandon's hot as fuck. | ||
| Rene Russo. | ||
| Isn't she in there? | ||
| Rene Russo's in it. | ||
| Who's the other one? | ||
| I don't know who it is. | ||
| It's not Susan Sarandon? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| I will. | ||
| Definitely Rene Russo. | ||
| He's just going against some pro who's like, it's his life and he's just wanting to make a name for himself one time. | ||
| Just one time. | ||
| And at the end of the movie it is. | ||
| I think I'm thinking of the wrong movie. | ||
| Maybe I'm not, though. | ||
| Golf movies? | ||
| Oh, you're right. | ||
| I'm thinking of a baseball movie. | ||
| There was a baseball movie with Kevin... | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's in Bull Durham. | |
| She's in Bull Durham. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Yeah, that movie. | ||
| That was a great movie, too. | ||
| Kevin Costner's made some goddamn gems. | ||
| Except Waterworld. | ||
| Hey, guys. | ||
| You know what's great about Waterworld? | ||
| Waterworld sucks, but that fucking show at Universal that they do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Fuck people. | ||
| I'm not you. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You know I love you, but I'm sorry. | ||
| I disagree with the Waterworld critics. | ||
| The movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Critics of the movie? | |
| What are you looking for? | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Now it is, but it's like Showgirls, but in water. | ||
| What else would you want in the world than Waterworld? | ||
| But no, you don't get it. | ||
| Back in the day, it was like a wet The Postman. | ||
| Did you see that one? | ||
| That was his other giant flop. | ||
| I didn't see The Postman. | ||
| By the way, Kevin Costner, I love you to death. | ||
| Me too, Kevin Costner. | ||
| A giant fan. | ||
| You tried! | ||
| Waterworld, you tried! | ||
| Listen, man, if I made that movie, it would have sucked a thousand times worse. | ||
| But you also did Dances with Wolves. | ||
| I fucking love that guy. | ||
| He's been in a lot of great movies. | ||
| That's not my point. | ||
| My point is, like... | ||
| Waterworld is not a good movie. | ||
| It's just not good. | ||
| And The Postman is not a good movie either. | ||
| They're just not good. | ||
| They didn't work. | ||
| But the Waterworld show at Universal is really good. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| Somebody worked on Waterworld. | ||
| A lot of people know. | ||
| I have friends that worked on Waterworld. | ||
| It's got good reviews on Google. | ||
| Of course it does. | ||
| It's a joke. | ||
| They're just fucking around. | ||
| There's nothing crueler you can say to an artist than to say, you know, the thing you made is not that great, but there's a universal right based on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's cool. | |
| That's what they say about Fear Factor. | ||
| Is there a Universal Fear Factor? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Some other dude does Fear Factor at Universal. | ||
| It has nothing to do with me. | ||
| I'm three people removed. | ||
| It's like that guy and then Ludacris. | ||
| You know about the imposter Blippi? | ||
| You know Blippi? | ||
| You know who Blippi is? | ||
| No. | ||
| Blippi is like the new Pee Wee Hermit. | ||
| He's like my kid. | ||
| Do you know Blippi? | ||
| Blippi. | ||
| No. | ||
| Blippi, by the way, I'm sorry. | ||
| I really do love Blippi. | ||
| In the same way we were saying I love Kevin Costner, I love Blippi. | ||
| Can I just stop for a second? | ||
| I don't think I'm ever doing shows with the lights on again. | ||
| Yeah, this is nice. | ||
| This is my favorite show. | ||
| Okay, so that's Blippi, right? | ||
| Now Blippi, that's the imposter Blippi. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| The one on the right is the imposter, the one on the left is the original Blippi. | ||
| So Blippi... | ||
| So did he eat the original Blippi? | ||
| No. | ||
| So that, the Blippi on the left, there was some controversy because the Blippi on the left started doing tours, saying he was going to be at the tours, but the Blippi on the right showed up at the tours. | ||
| And so people were like, what the fuck? | ||
| It's not the real Blippi. | ||
| It's an imposter Blippi. | ||
| What is Blippi on? | ||
| Blippi's on YouTube. | ||
| Angry parents are demanding refunds for YouTube star Blippi's live show. | ||
| The popular kids entertainer previously involved in a poop video scandal is launching a live show tour using an impersonator. | ||
| By the way, I'm going to say that again. | ||
| Previously involved in a poop video scandal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is why the aliens won't land! | |
| You fucking fools! | ||
| You're holding us back. | ||
| The aliens are hovering and then plunging into the ocean. | ||
| Blippi! | ||
| It's a fake! | ||
| They get a fake Blippi. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like a complex souffle. | ||
| You want to make sure you pull it out of the oven at the exact time, and the aliens are like, not yet! | ||
| You don't want it to collapse. | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| They got their oven mitts on. | ||
| They're looking through the glass window in the oven. | ||
| Like, not yet. | ||
| They're not done yet. | ||
| They made a fake Blippi. | ||
| Like, damn, I thought it was done. | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| He's an entrepreneur. | ||
| I gotta say this. | ||
| The aliens, I think Blippi is one of the... | ||
| Great things about you. | ||
| Scroll back down. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| I didn't find out until five seconds after I submitted my payment and Ticketmaster refused to refund me, said Angelina Sakowski, who spent $126 on tickets to the New Jersey show. | ||
| Angelina Sakowski in New Jersey would be a fucking blast to do coke with. | ||
| Ticketmaster didn't seem to have any info about it being an actor on their website. | ||
| The info is buried on the bottom of the frequently asked questions page on Blippi's website. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like Gallagher 2. It's the scandal repeats itself. | ||
| Well, look, you know, I love Blippi. | ||
| You love Blippi? | ||
| Well, no, but when my... | ||
| What's your favorite thing about Blippi? | ||
| Because what's cool about Blippi is he, like, you know, in the way you go to Walt Disney World, and Walt Disney clearly respects kids, there's, like, the toilets are the size for kids, and, like, there's a sense of, like, understanding child intelligence is astute as an adult. | ||
| They just don't have the words yet. | ||
| He's really good at that. | ||
| So when he's showing a fire truck, he's not brushing over anything. | ||
| He's pointing out all the things that a kid would be interested in, which is like, what's that? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That's what I like about it. | ||
| I think it's really... | ||
| Of all the crazy shit that we've watched with my kid, it's the most... | ||
| At least it acknowledges that children have some intelligence. | ||
| So that being said... | ||
| The way YouTube works is you're just watching Blippi videos. | ||
| You know how it is, man. | ||
| A two-year-old... | ||
| I found his band video that got him in trouble. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It was a Harlem Shake video. | ||
| Wait, show the Harlem Shake, not while I'm singing the praises of Blippi. | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| This is the pooping video that got him in trouble? | ||
| Oh, he's pooping on his friend. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| Oh, one more time. | ||
| Rewind that a little bit. | ||
| Rewind that a little bit. | ||
| Rewind that. | ||
| I need to see that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I was willing to go to bed for him until he just shit all over his friend, like legitimately. | ||
| It says Harlem Shane. | ||
| We have to learn to forgive, Joe. | ||
| I don't want to say the URL. That's not where it is anymore. | ||
| Alright, so this dude gets up and he literally Hershey squirts and empties out on his friend. | ||
| It's a big regret. | ||
| The friend's flinching like a first time porn star catching a facial. | ||
| No, it's friends acting like a roach that got sprayed with some kind of poison. | ||
| It's just bizarre that his friend is lying ass up in the air, also naked, while this dude shits on his naked asshole and dick. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| Some things should be illegal. | ||
| I think we have to forget. | ||
| Like, Blippi grew up a little bit. | ||
| He wanted some views. | ||
| He ate bad ramen and shit on his friend. | ||
| It doesn't change the fact. | ||
| Some things should be illegal, though, Duncan. | ||
| Shitting on your friend should not be illegal. | ||
| Shit in your friend's asshole. | ||
| The apocalypse could come out of that. | ||
| Imagine if the next plague didn't come out of a Wuhan lab, but this guy shitting into his friend's asshole. | ||
| Just imagine if there's something that happened when shit eats shit and it just becomes like some super toxic evil alien. | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| Like mad cow disease from prions. | ||
| The idea is that a human being... | ||
| Jakob Kreutzfeldt disease is when cannibals eat human spinal tissue. | ||
| That's one of the ways you get it. | ||
| But they can get that disease from humans eating other human spinal tissue and brain matter, right? | ||
| So they get the prion disease. | ||
| Well, that's the same... | ||
| That's the same thing, isn't it? | ||
| Like, would it? | ||
| Because it's not supposed to do that. | ||
| You're not supposed to ever eat your friend's brain, right? | ||
| So nature's like, nature's like, yo! | ||
| This guy's gotta die! | ||
| You can't have him eating his friend's spinal column. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! | |
| So nature has some, like, built-in fail-safes to keep you from eating your friends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this motherfucker shitting in his own friend's asshole, like, nature's not ready for that yet. | ||
| Well, nature thinks it's fine because Blippi's still alive. | ||
| He makes great kids videos, so it's okay. | ||
| John started making gross-out videos in 2013 under the persona of Steezy Grossman, a boy who was born as Poop after his parents had anal sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He makes great kid videos! | |
| Who hasn't been a kid? | ||
| And Logan Paul put up a hell of a fight last night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right! | |
| We're living in a clown world Logan Paul went eight rounds With the greatest boxer that's ever lived Dude, I mean, like, there's no, because there's, like, you know, many people, and I think Logan Paul is aware of this, were looking forward to the satisfaction of watching Logan Paul being knocked out by a great boxer. | ||
| There was a sense of, like, we are going to see the hand of justice in the world. | ||
| You can't just decide you're going to fight the greatest boxer that ever lived and come out of that unscathed. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| We were watching it the way we, like, people used to watch Gladiator. | ||
| Where they would put the fucking short-faced bear out and let the gladiator fight it. | ||
| You know what's going to happen. | ||
| The bear's going to eat the fucking gladiator. | ||
| But not in this case. | ||
| In this case it didn't happen. | ||
| But here's my... | ||
| I wrote an Instagram post about it today because I was genuinely... | ||
| All day, I was thinking, before I got here, when I was at the gym, I was working out, and I was thinking, I was like, there's something about that that's really intriguing to me. | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| And I tried to figure out what it was. | ||
| Like, what about the novelty of the moment? | ||
| Like, you, me, Tom Segura, Tony Hinchcliffe, Ron White, and Curtis. | ||
| Curtis Nelson, we're all sitting in my house. | ||
| We couldn't wait. | ||
| The thing is about to happen, we were all like, I can't believe this is happening. | ||
| I can't believe this is happening. | ||
| We're looking at them across the ring from each other. | ||
| Jake Paul's like three feet taller than I'm like, this is bananas. | ||
| This is so wild. | ||
| And he survived. | ||
| Floyd Mayweather made, like, $100 million. | ||
| He made, like, $100 million fighting a guy who had never won a professional boxing match. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| The annoying thing was, like, the announcers weren't acknowledging what was happening, which was like, what the fuck? | ||
| The problem is they had too many people talking. | ||
| They had a lot of people talking. | ||
| There was Mauro... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you say their names? | ||
| Dezo Samaro. | ||
| Dezo Samaro. | ||
| Who was the other guy? | ||
| Mauro Nalo... | ||
| Marwan Al already said, and there was one other gentleman. | ||
| The guy who got in the ring and interviewed Floyd and... | ||
| Anyway, there was one, two, three, four guys talking, which is a lot of people talking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's hard to do. | ||
| But it would have been nice to have options, is what you said. | ||
| If there was an optional stream, we could listen to like Teddy Atlas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a boxing expert. | ||
| Because those guys were being funny and they were having a good time and everything like that, which is great. | ||
| I think that comes from Triller. | ||
| You know Triller? | ||
| You have Snoop Dogg fucking around. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I understand what the reason was behind it. | ||
| I don't watch boxing a lot. | ||
| So it's cool to be sitting next to you and you're like, oh look, he's trying to drain him. | ||
| He fucked up because in the very beginning he expended too much energy. | ||
| These are things I don't even know. | ||
| So that's all. | ||
| It just added a dimension to it that was interesting. | ||
| Well, I was trying to break it down technically. | ||
| I'm like, there's some interesting things that are happening here. | ||
| First of all, Floyd is consistently putting pressure on him and moving and putting pressure on him and moving, putting pressure on him. | ||
| And after the third and fourth round, everything comes out a little slower. | ||
| So he has to be more measured. | ||
| So what Floyd is doing is consistently engaging with him and then pulling out. | ||
| And consistently engaging and making him swing and miss and swing and miss. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| For people that got mad at it, I get it. | ||
| It's not Manny Pacquiao versus Floyd Mayweather five years ago. | ||
| But what it is is one of the best boxers of all time making $100 million fighting a guy who's three feet taller than him and 35 pounds heavier than him who can't win. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Dude, that fight was amazing. | ||
| And there's a lot of amazing things. | ||
| First of all, Floyd's amazing. | ||
| The fact that Floyd has the balls at 44 years old to decide, oh, I'm just going to go ahead and fight some dude who's 35 pounds heavier than me at 26 years old. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And then the fact that he could put it on a guy like Logan Paul. | ||
| And here's another one. | ||
| The fact that Logan Paul went all eight rounds, that's astounding. | ||
| You have no idea how tired you would be if you were boxing with the greatest boxer that's ever lived. | ||
| I mean, maybe he's not the greatest, because that's subjective. | ||
| But in my opinion, he's the greatest. | ||
| The reason why he's the greatest, in my opinion, is he's only been hit hard and hurt like three times his whole fucking career. | ||
| There's no one that can say that. | ||
| The art of boxing has always been hit and not get hit. | ||
| And in my mind, no one's ever done that better than Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| Now here he is in his 40s. | ||
| He's made hundreds of millions of dollars fighting people who have really no chance of beating him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| That's amazing! | ||
| Dude. | ||
| The controversy of the day. | ||
| Oh, people think he got knocked out? | ||
| That he got knocked out and he's being held up right here. | ||
| The fuck out of here. | ||
| People are so silly. | ||
| Dude, what if- You don't understand. | ||
| They don't understand shit about getting hit in the head. | ||
| These are the same dummies. | ||
| He's just hanging on, man. | ||
| He's just- He went for an overhook. | ||
| You guys have no idea. | ||
| This position right here, high elbow, going in for an overhook. | ||
| If he was wrestling, he would go back the other way and throw him on his back. | ||
| This is a normal thing for a wrestler. | ||
| Logan was a wrestler. | ||
| In fact, ready for this? | ||
| See how he's got that high overhook on the left-hand side? | ||
| Watch how this happens again. | ||
| This is what happens when a bunch of people comment on fights that don't know shit. | ||
| You see that high overhook? | ||
| Watch one more time. | ||
| So he hits him, and now look at Logan's right arm. | ||
| Watch what happens. | ||
| Or excuse me, left arm. | ||
| See what happens? | ||
| He's in control. | ||
| He's holding on to him. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| He's a wrestler. | ||
| He's not going limp. | ||
| My friend Guy Sacco, who runs Defense Soap, that's his company. | ||
| He owns that company that I rave about all the time. | ||
| He told me today that Logan Paul was one of his wrestlers in the 1990s. | ||
| And he said he was really fucking good. | ||
| He said he was a really talented kid. | ||
| There's a video of him wrestling with Paulo Costa, who is a UFC middleweight contender, like a beast of a guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And Logan fucking scrambles on this guy, and he looks really good. | ||
| He can fucking wrestle. | ||
| So when you see that, he's not knocked out, you knuckleheads. | ||
| Stop talking about fighting. | ||
| He's holding on, and he's protecting himself, and he's controlling Floyd, and he's pushing his head to Floyd's chest. | ||
| This is what happens when you don't get commentary from a guy like Daniel Cormier or from a guy like Teddy Atlas or Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, all the people that really understand boxing. | ||
| Andre Ward, Roy Jones Jr. Those are the people that are supposed to be commenting on boxing. | ||
| I think it shows Logan Paul, for whatever reason, even though he knows he's gotten good at boxing, he didn't realize that he's become a contender. | ||
| He felt weird about it, and so he had funny announcers. | ||
| He wanted that to happen. | ||
| That was the decision he made. | ||
| I don't think it was his decision. | ||
| I think it was Showtime's decision. | ||
| Well anyway, you know what? | ||
| This is what has occurred to me. | ||
| What if Logan Paul starts getting good at other shit? | ||
| It's like people think he's going to keep boxing, but the next thing is he gets into fucking chess. | ||
| And he almost beats a grandmaster. | ||
| And then after chess, he becomes an incredible violinist. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So now you're watching Logan Paul in some symphony doing the most incredible- Look, it's not impossible. | ||
| Here's the thing, it's not impossible. | ||
| It's just going to require a tremendous amount of effort and growth. | ||
| But it's not impossible. | ||
| See, the difference between someone who tries to get really good at fighting, who's obviously a really good athlete, like Logan Paul, and someone who gets really good at chess, is you don't have any inherent advantages anymore. | ||
| Because if you're a strong, fast person, you have advantages. | ||
| And those advantages ultimately trip you up in your mindset of learning, right? | ||
| And I realize this from martial arts, both from myself and from other people that I watched. | ||
| There's certain people that they were really physically talented and ultimately it was bad for them. | ||
| Because the physically talented people relied on their physical talents and didn't learn the technique as, like, cleanly as the people who weren't physically talented. | ||
| There's nowhere that's more true than jujitsu. | ||
| In jujitsu, the best fighters are not the most physically talented people, necessarily. | ||
| The best ones to learn from are usually the smaller people. | ||
| Like, Eddie Bravo was not a very big guy. | ||
| You know, there's a bunch of people like that, Hoyler Gracie, not a very big... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Marcelo Garcia, not a very big guy. | ||
| But they're super, super, super technical because of that. | ||
| And you learn from them, you're learning the real shit. | ||
| Some people, they're like, unfortunately, they just get fortunate. | ||
| Unfortunately, they get fortunate. | ||
| You know, where they have like these physical gifts. | ||
| And so they're not forced to learn and grow. | ||
| But Joe, this is what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| What happens when suddenly that goes away? | ||
| That entire process goes away. | ||
| So now you're not forced to grow. | ||
| I don't think that's true, Duncan. | ||
| This is why I'm arguing this. | ||
| This is what I was arguing before. | ||
| This is what I'm arguing now. | ||
| I think we've conflated struggle with improvement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, cool. | |
| I don't think they're necessary. | ||
| I don't think they're necessary. | ||
| Listen, if anybody thinks it's necessary, then it's me. | ||
| Dude, I get up at 7 o'clock in the morning thinking I'm a loser, and I can't wait to go to work. | ||
| Yeah, man, all day. | ||
| I hate everything I do. | ||
| I want to work out like a fucking demon constantly. | ||
| Hey, that's the only way. | ||
| It works like the way it works with me. | ||
| I have to have a battle to fight. | ||
| So you feel like that might not be necessary? | ||
| My battle's always internal. | ||
| It's always internal. | ||
| Like, almost always. | ||
| Like, the thought process behind it is always my own criticisms of my own work. | ||
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| There's no... | ||
| You know what... | ||
| That's why... | ||
| But that's why I'm... | ||
| If you look at the numbers or how successful some of the things that I've done is, it's not me. | ||
| It's like a weird mental illness that plugs perfectly into some endeavors. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's so weird. | ||
| But that's what it is. | ||
| It's like a mental illness that wants to be nice to people, but also wants to, I want to go. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's all day. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Dukkha. | ||
| It's suffering. | ||
| It's like, yeah, I had this weird moment when I realized that. | ||
| I realized, oh my god, the thing I think of as inspiration, a lot of the times it's just me trying to escape from my own suffering. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Yes! | ||
| That's why you're running so hard. | ||
| That's why you're trying to accomplish things. | ||
| We're all trying to escape from our own suffering, and I 100% recognize that. | ||
| And all of my ambition, and even my most aggressive moments, I look at like they're weak. | ||
| It's a weakness. | ||
| It's a weakness. | ||
| It's a weakness to embrace this resistance against the ultimate. | ||
| It's a weakness to hype up aggressiveness, to compete. | ||
| It's 100% a weakness. | ||
| I'm aware of it while I'm doing it. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| It is exhausting, but it's sometimes fun too. | ||
| It's like both things. | ||
| It's sometimes fun to indulge in the chimp DNA. Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, let it loose! | ||
| Well, you know, this is the... | ||
| Like, this is one of the... | ||
| This is probably... | ||
| I'm sorry my Buddhist friends are... | ||
| I shouldn't even be talking at this point, but, like... | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I'm a little drunk, but, like... | ||
| Buddhists get mad when you talk drunk? | ||
| No, but there's some... | ||
| No, they don't get mad. | ||
| Any real, like, anyone who's a Buddhist that you're... | ||
| Probably is not going to get, like, mad. | ||
| It's not like that kind of thing. | ||
| It's more like you don't want to, like... | ||
| I guess anyone looking at someone in a robe wearing a wig who hears what they're saying and is like, that must be what Buddhism is! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pfft! | |
| In other words, the idea is what's cool about Buddhism is it's so beautiful and the system is so beautiful that you don't want to... | ||
| In the same way if you were talking about jiu-jitsu, you wouldn't want to say a thing about how to train that was slanted a little bit because you wouldn't want to hinder someone's ability to become good at jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| That's just that. | ||
| So there's this idea of like, it's samsara and nirvana, like in other words, like confusion and enlightenment are wrapped up together, right? | ||
| Or bliss and suffering are actually the same thing. | ||
| Well, you know, in jujitsu, they're connected, like teaching and improving are radically connected. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Inexorably. | ||
| Oh, you mean like to teach helps you get better. | ||
| Makes you better, yeah. | ||
| Right, yes. | ||
| But you know, you respect jujitsu and I respect Buddhism. | ||
| No, I respect both those things. | ||
| Both, I know you do. | ||
| But I mean enough to be like where you don't want to convey something. | ||
| I just know jujitsu in an intimate way, but those two things go hand in hand. | ||
| My friend Brent, we were kind of the same level. | ||
| I think we were like purple belts at the time. | ||
| And we always used to have really good rolls. | ||
| And then he became an instructor and started teaching people. | ||
| And right away, I was in danger. | ||
| Sometimes jujitsu is weird if you take a class. | ||
| You've been it. | ||
| You've taken classes. | ||
| You know it's weird. | ||
| You might be in the same class with a guy four weeks in a row and never roll with him because there's 100 people in the class. | ||
| You're rolling with a bunch of different people. | ||
| Then one time I rolled with him and all of a sudden I'm in deep shit. | ||
| I'm in danger and it fucked up my elbow for like a couple of weeks. | ||
| He got me in a Kimura and I wouldn't tap and I tried to get out of it and I couldn't do chin-ups. | ||
| I was fucked up. | ||
| It was like a lesson. | ||
| But he got way better from teaching. | ||
| And then I think there's two things going on. | ||
| I think one is the examination of the fundamentals and the deep understanding of positions. | ||
| But I also think There's something about helping other people that's really good for the head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really good for the head. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| And there's something about when you have your head in a good place, you can be freer with your movements. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You feel less burdened down. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But martial arts, there is for sure a hierarchy that acknowledges various belts or levels of expertise. | ||
| It's teacher. | ||
| There's nothing worse, I'm sure, and I know it happens. | ||
| What's that great Instagram account? | ||
| McDojo Life. | ||
| Oh my god, it's so good. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| We went on today about a guy shaking guys off with his shoulders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It gets dumber and dumber. | ||
| The thing is, the dude who created that website, he hasn't run out of examples. | ||
| So many. | ||
| There's so many examples of the most ridiculous shit. | ||
| So many. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| So this is, by the way, this is happening with Snoop sounds. | ||
| So Snoop's music is playing. | ||
| Give me a little Snoop. | ||
| Are you kidding me, man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| Watch, look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so dumb. | |
| This guy's pretending that no one... | ||
| I don't know what's happening. | ||
| It's like these guys are like bad actors. | ||
| They're falling down and falling behind him. | ||
| Look how they're grabbing his shoulders and falling down. | ||
| At this point, here's my worry. | ||
| That's meta. | ||
| My worry is that it's meta. | ||
| Oh, they're trying to get on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That they're trying to get on McDojo Live. | ||
| And they're creating videos. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| There's a little bit of that. | ||
| This right here is fucking with me. | ||
| Because these guys are bad actors. | ||
| They have smiles on their faces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They look too funny. | |
| And he's wearing sunglasses. | ||
| One guy's wearing sunglasses. | ||
| Sunglass guy's a dead giveaway, it feels like. | ||
| This is a setup, man. | ||
| But it's a funny setup. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen. | |
| McDojo Live might be behind the camera. | ||
| How about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God! | |
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like when the government does those things. | ||
| They do black ops. | ||
| And then they do false flags. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He ran out of videos, man! | |
| And he has to keep it going. | ||
| He's got false flags. | ||
| I don't know if they're false flags, bro. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I'm just joking around. | ||
| I think there's enough people out. | ||
| There might be, and they might just be making these videos to get put up here. | ||
| But at the end of the day, there's a lot of those videos. | ||
| Most of the videos McDojoLife at Instagram puts up are fucking real. | ||
| And it's disturbing. | ||
| It's a great account to follow, but all I'm saying is the reason when I'm saying that I'm confused regarding Buddhism is because I would never in a million years want to be the person professing to know a thing they don't understand. | ||
| And I think it's important in both Jujutsu and any kind of path that there has to be some acknowledgement that there are actual teachers There is a way of conveying the ideas that has been evolved over thousands of years that is the best way to convey the ideas. | ||
| And then there's also people like us who just love talking about it, but it's good to make a distinction because at least you alert people if you wanted to go deep into it. | ||
| There's an Eddie Bravo. | ||
| There's a David Nicker. | ||
| There's a Ram Dass. | ||
| There's a person you could go to if you really want to go deep into it that's there for you. | ||
| Or you can just listen to us talk about it and talk about it like us. | ||
| And that's also completely great. | ||
| You know what's interesting, man, in boxing that exists where people that are not even really good at it are really good at teaching it? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yeah, like there's a bunch of people that were some of the best boxing trainers that have ever lived, and they weren't great boxers. | ||
| Like Angelo Dundee, the guy who trained Sugar Ray Leonard and Muhammad Ali. | ||
| Not a notable boxer. | ||
| Emanuel Stewart. | ||
| A guy who trained Thomas the Hitman Hearns, Gerald McClellan, Milton McCrory, Emanuel Stewart, Lennox Lewis. | ||
| Emanuel Stewart is a legend. | ||
| Wasn't really a great boxer himself, wasn't a world champion. | ||
| There's a bunch of those people. | ||
| Teddy Atlas is another one. | ||
| I think that's one of the shitty things people say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those who do not, can't do it, teach it. | |
| And it's like, fuck you! | ||
| No, it's not fair, dude. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| People have genetic advantages. | ||
| They have societal advantages, cultural advantages. | ||
| And some people just learn things and they're really good at teaching things. | ||
| There's a lot of those out there. | ||
| Go pee! | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| This is so fun. | ||
| I never want to do it. | ||
| Because move here. | ||
| We'll do it once a week. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I told you. | ||
| Let's make a deal, son. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Let's make a deal. | ||
| I've become a production company, young Jamie. | ||
| If there's anything you like to get made, let me know. | ||
| I've got a list. | ||
| Oh, do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good. | ||
| What about PullThatUpJamie.com? | ||
| Oh, that's not even yours. | ||
| No, they won't let me have it. | ||
| This son of a bitch, that Weinstein fella, who I love to death. | ||
| Eric, you can't own pull-that-up-jamie.com. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
| Squatter. | ||
| You're a squatter. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Just because you're my friend. | ||
| Eminent domain. | ||
| On a domain. | ||
| But youngjamie.com is live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| And you can get all sorts of, like, alien abduction shirts, pullthatupjamie.com. | ||
| Those will be available again soon. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| You should sell t-shirts on your website that say, give Jamie back, pullthatupjamie.com. | ||
| And make them in a rainbow, so people have to agree with you. | ||
| No, make it in a rainbow, like a Napoleon Dynamite vote for Pedro shirt, but with a rainbow. | ||
| If you put the rainbow in, people think you support LGBT issues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was trying to make it an NFT. Even better. | |
| I saw some interesting talks about that. | ||
| You guys are talking about Logan Paul's thing. | ||
| He isn't the reason, but he could arguably be a catalyst to why that got so popular over the last year. | ||
| NFTs? | ||
| Yeah, he sold $5 million worth of NFTs opening a box of Pokemon cards to people that were going to get those cards online. | ||
| And sold the moments of opening them. | ||
| Solid move. | ||
| Yeah, he made a lot of money just doing that. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| Innovator. | ||
| I told you I met him once in Hawaii. | ||
| He's really friendly. | ||
| You meet someone that doesn't mean anything and no one's paying attention, that's how you know who they are. | ||
| He's pretty friendly. | ||
| Really friendly. | ||
| Came up, touched my shoulder, I'm like, hey, what's up, man? | ||
| I was right after his fight with KSI. That's hilarious. | ||
| Did you shit all over the toilet like that guy shit on his friend's asshole? | ||
| You didn't shut the door, man. | ||
| These are soundproof doors. | ||
| I'll get it. | ||
| Jamie's gonna go. | ||
| Jamie's gotta go. | ||
| Jamie's gotta go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I couldn't remember how to get out of here, man. | |
| Yeah, it's a fucking maze, bro. | ||
| It's like a saw-level maze. | ||
| This is all designed by those military motherfuckers to protect me. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| You know, man, being friends with you, that is something I never... | ||
| Thinking about what would come... | ||
| I never thought, he's gonna have special forces type people guarding him. | ||
| As long as I keep being me, that's the balance. | ||
| The balance is... | ||
| Never stop being you. | ||
| If you can figure out how to balance your life out, never stop being you. | ||
| And the way I've done that the best... | ||
| Give me that joint over there. | ||
| This one? | ||
| That one, yeah. | ||
| This one, something happened. | ||
| This one got wet. | ||
| The way I figured out how to do it the best is just keep being me. | ||
| Just keep being me. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| It seems hard to do, but it's just because it's hard to do normally. | ||
| And it's hard to do mostly because too many people are paying attention to what you're doing, they're mad at you. | ||
| If you just figure out a way to just be yourself all the time, then figure out a way to just be the best person you could be. | ||
| It can be done. | ||
| But who schedules the guards? | ||
| Like, do you have someone who like... | ||
| Easy bro. | ||
| On the air. | ||
| How do you find them? | ||
| You have people around you that are like, I like them because it's like you... | ||
| Hey, hey, hey, we're on the air. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| You just said you had... | ||
| You said you had guards. | ||
| I know, but you're getting specific. | ||
| Okay, well... | ||
| There's something magnetic about them. | ||
| Yeah, they're fucking elite soldiers. | ||
| But the point is, if you could just be yourself, And whatever's stopping you from being yourself, figure out how to control that and then be yourself again. | ||
| But don't give in to that thing and stop being yourself. | ||
| One of the main problems I've had with this podcast as it keeps growing is people expect me to be someone different now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it reaches more people. | ||
| I'm like, you don't understand, like, that's how it reached more people in the first place. | ||
| And that's all I have to offer. | ||
| Okay, if I can't do that, look, I can talk to brilliant people and ask them the best questions I can ask them and try to provide you with an insight into how I'm looking at whatever particular weirdness I'm talking about on the podcast. | ||
| But I can't change just because a lot of people are watching, more people are going to complain. | ||
| That would fuck the whole thing up. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| What a terrifying predicament to find yourself in. | ||
| It's not that bad. | ||
| So, you know, it's a little... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| What's terrifying, bro? | ||
| What? | ||
| Is you don't have options. | ||
| You don't have things you can do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trying to find a way to make a living. | ||
| Those are real terrors. | ||
| Or you're living in a communist country that controls your actions. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Tell you what you can't say. | ||
| I mean, people criticize me. | ||
| Like, here's the thing about cancel culture, right? | ||
| A lot of it is like people looking at what they think of... | ||
| Cancel culture reacts differently on different individuals, just like a lot of things do. | ||
| And if you're in a situation where you can get fired, right? | ||
| Like you're working for a major network, and if you get criticized, you do something terrible, and a bunch of other people chime in, and then other people can lose their jobs, right? | ||
| Like different people that are directors or executives or like... | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| You just gotta, if you're doing something creative, you gotta figure out a way to get to a position where you can be independent. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That you have to. | ||
| Well, you have to, like, I think... | ||
| It's almost not their fault if they're mad at you, if they're trying to mold you, if their mortgage depends on it. | ||
| It's all set up in a weird way. | ||
| People think it should be cooperative. | ||
| I mean, it kind of should be, but maybe not. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| It's like, you do your shit, I'll do mine. | ||
| And when it comes to someone expressing their self about the nature of the world they see, It's really important, if you want to resonate with people, that you come with no pretense. | ||
| You come with no filter. | ||
| You might be wrong. | ||
| You might sound stupid. | ||
| You might say something, and the next day you're driving, and you're like, why the fuck did I say it that way? | ||
| Like, you don't even know. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck the next word out of my mouth is right now as I'm talking to you, right? | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| This is what we're doing, right? | ||
| And while we're doing this thing, we got to acknowledge that it's a weird touch-and-go situation. | ||
| Touch and go! | ||
| I can't believe you said that. | ||
| That's what my teacher's teacher used to say about meditation. | ||
| Yes, touch and go, which is like the way we relate with our thoughts is so funny you would say that. | ||
| So the idea is like when you're meditating, the way I meditate, there's a lot of ways about it. | ||
| The way I meditate is you put your attention on your breath and then when you find yourself lost in thoughts, you go thinking. | ||
| And return your attention to your breath. | ||
| So this is basic mindfulness meditation, but the idea is you're not suppressing... | ||
| So in other words, if all of a sudden I'm thinking about some vivid memory from when I was six that I haven't had, it's not like you're like... | ||
| Thinking! | ||
| Back to your breath. | ||
| Like you're scared or you're running away or trying to stop it. | ||
| It's touch and go, meaning like, no, that's there. | ||
| Be with it. | ||
| But then thinking and back to your breath. | ||
| Touch and go. | ||
| So it gets compared to the way butterflies land on flowers. | ||
| It's like you're there, but then you go. | ||
| You're not stuck to it is all. | ||
| Touch and go. | ||
| That's a cool thing that you just said, man. | ||
| Well, all random interactions that you can't predict are chaos. | ||
| They're all wild and unpredictable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you can't predict them, you don't know what's going on next. | ||
| You don't know how it's going to end. | ||
| You don't know how it's going to go down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't know how any conversation is going to take place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And people are all judging post. | ||
| You're judging post weird neural interactions between two human beings spouting out noises that have meaning attached to them. | ||
| And you're trying to wrestle your way through this weird conversation depending upon a lot of factors. | ||
| Maybe you got a ticket on the way over there. | ||
| Maybe you haven't slept right. | ||
| Yeah, who knows? | ||
| Maybe you aren't taking your vitamins. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| This is intention. | ||
| This is where intention comes in because it's like some people you will sit down with To get you to dance. | ||
| We're going to have a dance-off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| It's like intention, man. | ||
| And it's hard because it's confusing. | ||
| People don't want to acknowledge the reality. | ||
| Sometimes people can have a legitimate intention to help, but they're a little confused. | ||
| And so the shit gets mixed up. | ||
| And so what ends up happening is something that, in the moment, if you freeze that moment in time, And lay that as the only reality of what this person is. | ||
| Oh my god, you've got a monster, friends. | ||
| But if you recognize this is a process, you're looking at like a process. | ||
| This is one part of a process that maybe, I know you don't believe this, but I do, extends through lifetimes. | ||
| I don't not believe it. | ||
| I'm glad to hear that. | ||
| Yeah, no, I don't. | ||
| I'm less convinced every day that I have any idea. | ||
| I do not believe it, but I don't believe it. | ||
| It's irrelevant. | ||
| The problem with, like, right now, the problem is, like, people are getting confused regarding their identity. | ||
| So people are beginning to think their identity is a singular thing, and they're not willing to admit that they're a process. | ||
| And so it's fundamentally, like, disastrous to Imagine this is the case, you know, it's like you look at a tree, you're seeing the process of a seed. | ||
| That's not a tree, that's a river of molecules flowing into time that looks like a fucking tree. | ||
| It used to be a seed that a bird shit out and it's like if you look at some of the most majestic trees and imagine that at some point that was in like a crow's asshole. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, what the fuck? | ||
| But this is a process. | ||
| So I think the problem right now is we gotta acknowledge that we're all a process. | ||
| And if as part of that process, someone is manifesting aggressive traits that are fucking with society, the answer is not to imagine this is who this person is, but to recognize, oh, this is something you're going through right now. | ||
| This is a display right And also recognize you could be that person if you live their life. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The problem is determinism versus free will. | ||
| And I don't think either one of them are absolute, right? | ||
| Look, I mean, the whole determinism, free will thing, I've heard it described as absolute and relative reality. | ||
| It's easier to acknowledge that both simultaneously exist and try to imagine one over the other. | ||
| It's like, on one level, we're all who knows what. | ||
| If you zoom far enough out in the universe, we're clearly a holon or whatever. | ||
| But on another level- A holon? | ||
| Oh, yeah, the totality of a thing. | ||
| I think that's called a holon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, H-O-L-O-N. Could be wrong. | ||
| Jamie, please look it up so I don't get like a million tweets correcting me about my mis-fucking communication of a word. | ||
| That's a dope word. | ||
| I've never heard that word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holon. | |
| Holon. | ||
| Could be wrong about that, though. | ||
| Yeah, could be wrong. | ||
| God, I hope I'm not wrong. | ||
| It sounds super similar to when, like, Hawaiians get mad at white people. | ||
| It's a city in Israel, so it's not that. | ||
| Philosophy, correct? | ||
| So it says it's something that is simultaneously a hole in and of itself, as well as part of a larger hole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A hole on. | |
| A hole on. | ||
| So at some point we're a hole on. | ||
| Another point... | ||
| That's a dope word. | ||
| There's a Joe and there's a Duncan, and these two things are happening simultaneously. | ||
| So they both can happen simultaneously. | ||
| So this is called relative reality and absolute reality. | ||
| And we have to accept that Both exist. | ||
| Well, not just both exist, dude, but when you talk... | ||
| Neil deGrasse Tyson told me that he thinks that there are infinite universes and there's infinite Duncans doing infinite things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not he thinks. | ||
| He didn't even say he thinks. | ||
| I'm phrasing it wrong. | ||
| M-theory. | ||
| He was explaining to me this theory of infinity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That not only is there a you, but there's a you who's done everything you've done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's a you who's slightly deviated from that path. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Infinite numbers of times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's another that's slightly deviated from that. | ||
| It's impossible to imagine the numbers that are involved. | ||
| Dude, it's not impossible to imagine. | ||
| Go to the airport and look around. | ||
| That's all you. | ||
| That's all different versions of you and different lives doing different things. | ||
| It's all you. | ||
| You don't need to go any further than your local target and take a look around at the multiverse. | ||
| It's true! | ||
| That's what pains us so about homeless people. | ||
| We realize that could be us. | ||
| If you're honest with yourself. | ||
| If you're honest with yourself. | ||
| If you were that kid who became that abused person in a shelter at 14, who became that kid on the street at 16, who is now in a tent by the lake. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he's a loser? | ||
| Is that really what it is? | ||
| Helping people by telling them that they can camp out, that's not enough. | ||
| That's like, at least you're not... | ||
| But the problem is they want to be closer to all the shit that's happening. | ||
| But you can't just take over ground. | ||
| Because other people say, no, where you're camping, I've decided since it's a sidewalk you're using, I'm going to build a fort. | ||
| And they just build a fort on that sidewalk. | ||
| You can't put shit... | ||
| If you can't have a tent, you can't have a house. | ||
| If you can't have a house, you can't have a tent. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't just put tents everywhere. | ||
| But it doesn't mean that you don't understand that these people that got here, somehow or another, they got fucked over. | ||
| But I think you... | ||
| Life fucked them over, right? | ||
| You want to understand how beautiful humans are right now. | ||
| Because you realize, like, in the human spirit is a thing that is like, all right, I guess I'll let you put your tent there. | ||
| Because I don't want to, like, impinge on your life. | ||
| I want them to feel better. | ||
| It's okay, man. | ||
| Put your tent down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| So you look at that and, like, subtract everything other than that Feeling in a person which is like I know you're me and I know you're me in a different timeline and so I'm gonna I guess I'm gonna I'm gonna trust the process and let you do this thing and then you get this collision between that and the other versions of you who are on the same timeline or on a different timeline that are like I Yeah, but that's where my business is. | ||
| And so now you have these two colliding possibilities and we don't know how to deal with it yet. | ||
| We don't know what to do. | ||
| It's so brutal because on one side you have the most incredible, the heart of Christ, the deepest compassion, which is you or me. | ||
| When Jesus says, love your neighbor as yourself, He doesn't mean pretend that you were in your neighbor's shoes. | ||
| He literally means those are you. | ||
| Your neighbor is you. | ||
| You should love your neighbor because they are you. | ||
| Love your neighbor as yourself. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| So now, if suddenly we're dealing with this reality, What are we going to do, Joe? | ||
| Because now it's like, yeah, great. | ||
| You have this incredible podcast and you have achieved this amazing apex in this little period of human culture that we're in. | ||
| But it's like, what about all the non-news? | ||
| Especially the ones who are camping out. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Now what are we going to do? | ||
| If you look at things like that, which is actually... | ||
| This guy Bob Thurman, Uma Thurman's dad, he's this incredible Buddhist scholar who's explaining this to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Uma Thurman's dad? | ||
| Is the most... | ||
| Is a Buddhist scholar? | ||
| One of the Dalai Lama's best friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Oh my God, he runs Tibet House, and I met him, he is... | ||
| Such the coolest person you've ever met. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| So he said the idea is like when in compassion or in thinking of other people, and God, I'm sorry, Bob Thurman, if I'm misquoting you or something, this is how I remember it. | ||
| It's not like I'm looking at you and thinking, God, what if I was in that person's shoes? | ||
| It's like you're looking at them and thinking, that's me. | ||
| I'm looking at me. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I am them. | ||
| This is me. | ||
| And so in this mindset, this is where you start making decisions. | ||
| And so it's radical and wild because it's not like you do the thing where you're like, God, it'd be rough to be in that person's situation as me. | ||
| You're thinking, I'm looking at me right now. | ||
| In different circumstances. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And so that's how real compassion starts appearing. | ||
| That's real compassion. | ||
| Now you're like, oh fuck, that's me. | ||
| I must help. | ||
| I'm going to help. | ||
| And that's all that ends up happening. | ||
| You know, we look at these people who we call saints and we're like, oh god, they're saints. | ||
| But really what happened is they clicked into that reality and couldn't click back out. | ||
| And all that was left was like, I'm just going to help. | ||
| All that's left to do is to help. | ||
| I'm just going to help. | ||
| It's all me. | ||
| Well, that's what we've got to get across. | ||
| That everybody is you living another life. | ||
| If we can just come to grips with that and have some sort of... | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| You can disagree with someone if it's you living another life, but if you really felt like it was you living another life and you're talking to them, you would have more compassion than they were. | ||
| If they were some random asshole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You would have more compassion. | ||
| And maybe you'd be able to calm them down. | ||
| Because we all know that every single escalation that people have with each other is usually based on two people. | ||
| It's like maybe one person takes it too far, one person gets loud, or one person gets physical. | ||
| But I think in many situations, and I'm not blaming the victim, but I'm saying in many situations, a lot of... | ||
| Interactions between people is dependent upon two humans. | ||
| And how this human approaches this human changes how they are and how they react is a little dance they do. | ||
| And some people are not tolerating any bullshit and they just want to hit you in the face right away. | ||
| And it's not your fault if you run into one of those people. | ||
| But they're reacting to probably a lifetime of being punched in the face, right? | ||
| That's why they just want to start swinging on you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Yes! | ||
| If you were them, but it's hard for us. | ||
| We're always looking at other human beings like, this guy's going to hurt me, or he's going to steal, or she's going to take, and this person's going to do something bad to me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They might. | ||
| But if we could get across the idea that we're all the same thing, exactly, living different versions, Of the same life. | ||
| Like literally, the life is a thing, and the life goes through different personalities, like a river goes through creeks, right? | ||
| Like the ocean filters into a river, and it goes through creeks. | ||
| That's what the life does, and the life does this with... | ||
| With all different colors and races and sexual orientations and proclivities and hobbies and intellect levels and it just goes through all those things. | ||
| And the key is recognizing that at the core of who you are is the same thing as the core of everybody else. | ||
| It's just that thing is powering different meat vehicles with different personalities and different loyalties to states. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And different fucking hobbies and things that they like to do and different shields they put up to protect themselves. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| And a lot of people are like, so what do you do? | ||
| You just let someone- You vote Democrat only. | ||
| You start doing ketamine. | ||
| You get on the roof. | ||
| You put a magnet on your dick and hope you get struck by lightning. | ||
| I'm going to vote for the second of those three possibilities. | ||
| But, you know, I think like what you just described, by the way, I mean, it's such a beautiful reality and it's hard for people to understand that a lot of people feel very defensive when they hear a thing like that. | ||
| Why do they feel defensive you think? | ||
| Well because the problem is that there's a narrative happening right now and the narrative generally involves some form of Overcoming another person. | ||
| So it's like, what's that thing I think Voltaire said? | ||
| Not that I should succeed, but that my friend should fail. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's built into the ethic. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And so a lot of people who've invested their entire lives in a perceived being better than this person or that person, they've put a lot of energy into Into a really horrific mode of existence that isn't really making them happy. | ||
| But I think that's one of the big secrets. | ||
| People will have great achievements and then they'll find themselves in this weird enclave of other people who have all these great achievements. | ||
| And at the end of the day, God, I said at the end of the day, I hate that saying, but literally at the end of the day, they feel so sad and empty and lonely and broken and numb, but they don't want to say it out loud. | ||
| Do you know what it's like? | ||
| What? | ||
| If you don't exactly know where the road is, And you're in the desert? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's some faint roads to the left, maybe some brush in the way, and faint roads to the right, but one road eventually has asphalt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might take the wrong road. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might go left. | ||
| You might be 45 degrees away from the real road. | ||
| And you're like heading towards the mountain and you realize you fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And if you turn around, it's all dusty. | ||
| You got to wait till the dust settles. | ||
| You're not exactly sure which way you turn left or right or right or left. | ||
| You got to kind of remember it backwards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Just trying to bring yourself back to the spot because you fucked up. | ||
| You took the wrong road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't want to admit it. | |
| You don't want to admit it because you're a proud person. | ||
| Because your dad told you, suck it up, Duncan. | ||
| You don't ever admit you took a wrong turn. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if that lady has that goddamn map. | ||
| Put the fucking map away, woman. | ||
| I'm flying by my gonads. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're driving into this fucking mountain! | |
| Yes. | ||
| I'm using my north compass. | ||
| I have many Buddhist teachers I love. | ||
| One of them is called Sharon Salzberg. | ||
| I repeat this saying she has to myself every other day, which is, the healing is in the return. | ||
| Meaning that if you fucked up for 50 years straight and you've been making the wrong decision every day for 50 years and your ego has become so invested in this pattern that you're stuck, what she's saying is all those 50 years of going off track, | ||
| the moment that you admit it and you're like, oh fuck, that was wrong, that was not the way I want to be, and go back to where you were at It's the most glorious reunion with a you that you forgot even existed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me ask you this. | |
| How do you extend that to people that have done horrific things? | ||
| How do you extend that to genocide? | ||
| To Hitler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Could you imagine a world where Hitler's forgiven? | ||
| I just had this brilliant guy, Neil Allen. | ||
| Don't answer this. | ||
| This is going to get you in real trouble. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| No, I just had this brilliant guy, Neil Allen. | ||
| I'm going to pee again. | ||
| I'm so embarrassed. | ||
| Let me finish this thought. | ||
| Neil Allen on my podcast, very, very, very smart. | ||
| He gave this exact example with Hitler. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I'm a hack. | ||
| You look at Hitler. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you don't listen to my podcast. | |
| But it's a hack moment. | ||
| My point is you look at Hitler and you realize that the idea is like the time travel thing. | ||
| You go back in time. | ||
| You're afraid of Hitler. | ||
| You look at Hitler and you recognize with Hitler, this is me. | ||
| If I had gotten in the worst kind of fucking life, I could have been this. | ||
| And then, knowing that's you, you shoot him in the fucking face! | ||
| Because that's the right thing to do. | ||
| If you're on an airplane, and someone's like, I'm getting into the cockpit to fly us to the Hollow Earth! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can look at that. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Did you see the new King Kong? | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| I love Hollow Earth shit. | ||
| And of course I saw the new King Kong. | ||
| My point is, you look at that person and you look at them and you're like, that could be me if I'd eat more edibles before this plane took off. | ||
| But that doesn't mean you're like, so go in the cockpit. | ||
| Let's go to the hollow earth. | ||
| You stop them. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So we can have compassion and realism and justice simultaneously. | ||
| The two things don't have to be completely separate things. | ||
| I'm sorry, I know you have to piss. | ||
| No, you're 100% right. | ||
| That's a really good point. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| But it just like... | ||
| I think all this is dependent, like the reason why these conflicts exist, like what you're just talking about, is dependent upon whether or not people have embraced the idea that we're all the same thing. | ||
| If we embrace the idea that we're all the same thing, if we could just figure out a way to use that and just put it in the back of your head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Write it down and stick it in your wallet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just write that. | ||
| Write that, we are all the same thing. | ||
| We are all living Different lives, with the same thing, living different lives. | ||
| If you could meet a person on the street and think about them, and don't get mugged doing this, then blame me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan said, pretend that that dude's the same as you, and he fucking kicked me in the dick and stole my watch. | |
| I'm sorry, okay? | ||
| Don't listen to me. | ||
| I don't want to give advice. | ||
| Maybe I should stop framing things in the way of advice. | ||
| Maybe that's my problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Duncan, when are the UFOs landing? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| If you knew, would you tell me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Would you really? | ||
| Would you do it over the phone? | ||
| Or would you tell me to put my phone in a bucket and walk into a lead room? | ||
| You're being so funny. | ||
| You know that if I knew, like if I some avenue, I got actual information about the UFOs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know that within, like, as soon as I could get a place away from the people that told me that I'd be calling you. | ||
| Yeah, but you would get real nervous, man. | ||
| You'd think I'm working with the feds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care! | |
| You'd give me the look. | ||
| Dude, if you're working for the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care. | |
| I don't care. | ||
| Like, to me, that's what's great about friendship is it transcends all that shit. | ||
| If you... | ||
| I know. | ||
| I would tell you first. | ||
| I would tell you first. | ||
| You know I'd tell you first. | ||
| I would tell you right away. | ||
| I'd call you right away. | ||
| Dude, you're not gonna fucking believe what I know for sure. | ||
| I might have to get a fake phone to call you. | ||
| Dude, I'd be calling you from a fucking 7-Eleven phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's supposed to be like, shut the fuck up. | |
| You don't know anything about the UFOs. | ||
| Dude, I want to believe so bad I don't trust myself. | ||
| I don't trust myself, Duncan. | ||
| Dude, I just had my friend Jason Louv on the show, because I'm trying to get him to talk about aliens. | ||
| He's so smart, and he's getting into, it's probably a distraction, but every once in a while he's saying to me, do you want to believe, Duncan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| I want to believe! | ||
| I do want to believe! | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| With the alien shit, I got annoyed. | ||
| Someone on Twitter sent me a message because I guess some leak came out and they're like, it's not aliens. | ||
| And someone sent me a message saying, see, it's not aliens. | ||
| No, that was a really poorly titled article. | ||
| That's all that was. | ||
| Now, I shouldn't say poorly titled, but they just did it because that was like the best way of... | ||
| Getting people to click on it. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| If you just say something's not aliens, people will click on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What is it? | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care who the fuck is making that thing. | |
| Making that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I care that it exists. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's all that matters. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Wait, here's what's real. | ||
| Something went 80,000 feet above sea level to 50 feet above sea level in less than a second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| This is all tracked by multiple sources, including the best weapons system the fucking Navy has to offer. | ||
| And you've got commanders like a guy like David Fravor, who is literally a Top-notch fighter jet pilot who has a deep understanding of these weapon systems, and they're locking in on this thing that looks like a Tic Tac, and it zooms away at what they estimate be thousands of miles an hour. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You don't think that's bananas? | ||
| Who? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is the urge to dismiss? | |
| That? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like when you get a guy like a David Fravor, who's like, he's never told another story like that since. | ||
| He says the guys that he was working with had seen multiple things just like that for a couple of weeks. | ||
| It wasn't a unique thing. | ||
| It was just like, he went face to face with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what they were saying. | |
| Bro, you gotta listen to him on the Lex Friedman podcast. | ||
| Lex does a fucking amazing job because they go deep into all sorts of aviation talk. | ||
| So all this talk about how to fly these things and the weapon systems and Lex does AI, right? | ||
| He used to do it for MIT and he has the Lex Friedman podcast. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| I've heard of him. | ||
| I don't know much about him. | ||
| I gotta put you guys together. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| But the point is they're talking and so he understands this kind of crazy super technical lingo and he indulges David Fravor in this explanation of the weapon systems that they use and the visual systems and all the different things that can shuttle back and forth between different sources. | ||
| It's wild shit, dude! | ||
| So people that don't understand that and never heard that guy talk about those things, they don't understand how I gotcha. | ||
| Specifically, they know this thing moved off at thousands of miles an hour instantaneously with no visible means of propulsion. | ||
| I gotcha. | ||
| So a lot of people, they see these fucking videos that have been verified by the Pentagon and they dismiss them. | ||
| And they dismiss them because they're like, Look at it! | ||
| It's griny! | ||
| You could have done a better video than that! | ||
| And they don't understand the technology behind what picked that up at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Like, the fact that we picked that up at all is insane. | ||
| Pitch black at night, you know, miles away. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's less than HD. It's not real. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Some of it is night vision, like those little pyramid things that were flying over those things. | ||
| It was in night vision. | ||
| Night vision. | ||
| Some of them, they're in infrared. | ||
| I can send you this one thing, Jamie, because there's this one guy who does a really good job of this. | ||
| There's one guy that Jeremy Corbell sent me, and this guy does a really good job of explaining why there's no way that these things, whatever the fuck they are, could be like a goose. | ||
| Like people have called... | ||
| A goose? | ||
| Yeah, like people have said, like, maybe it's a goose. | ||
| And this guy who is a fighter pilot... | ||
| Like a goose? | ||
| What? | ||
| Like goose? | ||
| Geese are going out to aircraft carriers and harassing them? | ||
| Listen, man, people love to believe, whether they believe this way or that way. | ||
| They don't necessarily want to believe in the truth. | ||
| A lot of times they do, and a lot of times maybe they're like 80% right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they're clinging to this idea that the left is the way. | ||
| And maybe sometimes you got to go right. | ||
| And maybe sometimes you got to recognize like, yeah, you're right. | ||
| A lot of this stuff is nonsense. | ||
| A lot of this stuff is hoaxers. | ||
| A lot of this stuff is delusional people. | ||
| A lot of this stuff is people seeing Venus and not understanding what they're looking at. | ||
| But a lot of this stuff doesn't make any fucking sense. | ||
| When they have multiple sources, radar, they're tracking these things on weapon systems on two different jets. | ||
| Like, this is banana stuff, dude. | ||
| This is something with no visible means of propulsion. | ||
| You have a fucking Air Force pilot who never in a million years wanted to be on camera, who just likes flying those crazy- Or do we? | ||
| Maybe it's an android, Joe. | ||
| You are useful idiots. | ||
| It could be an android. | ||
| Maybe he's not even a real person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it could be an android. | |
| This is the guy. | ||
| This is the guy. | ||
| And he's basically explaining how sophisticated and complicated these systems are. | ||
| And one of the things he used, if it was not on this video, it was on another. | ||
| He said catching one of those things on one of these weapon systems just randomly without any other input, whether it's radar or any communications from something else, would be like finding a person, Through a straw. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like, trying to, like, find... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Spot something through a straw. | ||
| Like, you're just looking at the random sky. | ||
| Like, they have to lock onto these things. | ||
| I have to pee again. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| So what do we do there? | ||
| Should we end this? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| It's kind of late. | ||
| It's 7.23 already. | ||
| We've already done three hours, right? | ||
| That's so weird, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ, we started at $3.20. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| $4.20. | ||
| This is perfect because we don't extend our welcome, overextend our welcome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Catch a buzz, get some food. | ||
| Duncan, you're the best. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| And we'll start our once-a-week show in September. | ||
| Yeah, you know, I was already coming here anyway because I have to work on some standouts. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So that's what we do. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We'll do it like a month. | ||
| Any time you want to come down here, Duncan. | ||
| Let's do it like a month of regular podcast so people get so sick of it. | ||
| Yeah, just do it once a month. | ||
| Come back once a month. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once every two months. | ||
| I'm gonna come for a month straight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, that's dangerous. | |
| And then let's do once a week. | ||
| Are you gonna Airbnb? | ||
| If you do, don't use Tim Dillon as a reference. | ||
| They don't like him. | ||
| Are you joking? | ||
| He fucks up Airbnbs? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He talks shit about this one couple, this lesbian couple that owns, in my opinion, a fucking dope house. | ||
| And they kicked him off of Airbnb. | ||
| Dude, I'm sorry, but if you get kicked off Airbnb, that's crazy! | ||
| Bro, Tim Dillon's a savage! | ||
| That's brutal, though! | ||
| Tim Dillon is a savage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'll be fine. | |
| But getting kicked off Airbnb is rough. | ||
| That's rough. | ||
| He'll find a way. | ||
| He can do that other one. | ||
| Vermal. | ||
| Whatever he does. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| There's a new Airbnb. | ||
| It's called Vermal. | ||
| He only left dishes in the sink. | ||
| That wasn't the problem. | ||
| The problem was the shit-talking. | ||
| We gotta stop Airbnb. | ||
| Well, they have cameras everywhere. | ||
| Internet shares horror stories of rising fees, filthy homes, and scary hoes. | ||
| And, can I stop here? | ||
| Also, great experiences that nobody fucking writes in about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but if you're fucking an Airbnb, someone's watching. | |
| If you're fucking an Airbnb, there's an 80% chance someone's watching that. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for everything. | ||
| Duncan Trussell, Jamie Vernon, and Joe Rogan, signing out. |
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