Jan. 30, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:46:46
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| So good to see you. | ||
| Man, you too, bro. | ||
| It brings me back to the comedy store. | ||
| One day I'm going to be looking back on those days and just going, what a lucky time we had there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were so lucky. | ||
| So lucky to be in that spot at that time and that moment in history. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I, um, some guy wanted me to write something about, like, a haunted comedy club. | ||
| So, like, one of the last days that I was out there before I came out here. | ||
| So I walked all the way down the street, and then I walked all the way to the, um, to the comedy store. | ||
| It's closed, it's shut down, and it's abandoned. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| It is! | ||
| And I was just looking at, I was just looking at the whole place, taking it in, and I was just like, damn. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| I just walked off. | ||
| I looked at my name, and I was up there like, damn, man, I worked so hard to get that shit on there. | ||
| And I just walked off. | ||
| I took nothing back to go right about. | ||
| And I was just like, damn, I worked so hard to get that. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yeah, getting your name up on the wall of that place is like, I mean, for a comedian, that's the stamp. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| You got the stamp. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| And they wouldn't pass me for the longest, dude. | ||
| How long? | ||
| Oh man, so I started going there at 19. When you're 19 years old? | ||
| Yeah, I've been doing comedy for like 17 years. | ||
| What year was it when you got passed? | ||
| Probably like 2014 maybe. | ||
| So that was like right when I was coming back. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And they would never pass. | ||
| I remember doing a showcase in front of Mitzi. | ||
| They did a showcase in front of Mitzi. | ||
| This is when Mitzi came in. | ||
| She was all like, you know, much respect, like the crap. | ||
| And they sat her in the back. | ||
| Everybody was like, oh my god, it's Mitzi, oh my god, it's Mitzi, oh my god, it's Mitzi. | ||
| We all went up and we all did our sets. | ||
| Like, it was me, it was Gerard, it was Angela Bowers, it was Josh, it was like all of us. | ||
| And then, so we all go up and do our sets and shit. | ||
| Mind you, like, this is an open mic. | ||
| So, I go up. | ||
| And the first joke I said, I was like, yeah man! | ||
| I was like, Michael Jackson can fuck anybody he want to! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| You know, before everybody was doing that type of joke, I was really like, Michael Jackson can do whatever the fuck he want to do! | ||
| And then Mitzi gets up and walks out. | ||
| I thought that my friend Angela walked her because he went up after me. | ||
| And then the next day, remember Tommy? | ||
| The next day, Tommy was at the like, what in the fuck did you think you were doing? | ||
| And I was like, me? | ||
| I was like, I was doing my stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, I'll rock that shit. | |
| And I was like, it was only four people in? | ||
| He was like, you went dirty, bro. | ||
| It was only six o'clock. | ||
| Mitzi called you a pig. | ||
| You went dirty, it was only 6 o'clock. | ||
| Look at this an hour where you could tell non-dirty jokes. | ||
| It's fucked up because I was like, I talk like this all the time. | ||
| I was like, 3 o'clock in the morning? | ||
| 9 o'clock? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No matter. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| So I walked Mitzi and that's one of the reasons it took me forever to get past because they didn't trust my ass. | ||
| If she didn't like you, she got mad for a long time. | ||
| She held a grudge. | ||
| You had to earn your spot back. | ||
| You had to hang out there forever. | ||
| Yeah, so then my friends started getting passed. | ||
| Willie, Hunter, and Gerard got passed. | ||
| And I was still in development, like in the belly room. | ||
| They still passed me to the belly room. | ||
| And then so I would work in there and stuff like that. | ||
| And then... | ||
| I would go up, I would start coming back, and I went up and everything like that, and I would kill every fucking time during the open mic and during the friends and family part. | ||
| I got frustrated because all my friends were getting passed, and I was like, man, I'm funny as fuck, too. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So every time after I would kill at the store, I would reach out. | ||
| I would look at Tommy in the booth, and I'd be like, yo, Tommy. | ||
| I'm like, you see what I just did in here? | ||
| I was like, you passing me this week? | ||
| And he'd be like, he'd be like, he'd just laugh in the back. | ||
| And I'd be like, okay. | ||
| And I was like, I'll be back next week and we'll do it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| When he had power over the store, that was a terrible position. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| To have an insane person in charge of running the greatest comedy club the world's ever known. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| But I appreciate... | ||
| I actually appreciate how hard he made it for me, though. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Adversity makes you stronger if you do stick it out. | ||
| But when you're a young comic and your friends are doing well and you're not... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I remember when I was an open-miker, I was dirty. | ||
| And the other guys that were clean started to get work as hosts in town. | ||
| And I could only get, like, road gigs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember being so jealous. | ||
| Like, God... | ||
| I'd go to see them. | ||
| I'd be hanging out with them. | ||
| I'd go to see them at a club and they would host in front of like 300 super polite people at a really nice club. | ||
| Everyone was seated and laughing at everything. | ||
| I would go to these dirty bars in New Hampshire. | ||
| I was like, oh my god. | ||
| I've taken a bad path. | ||
| My friends would get shows and stuff. | ||
| It was like Angelo Bowers and all these guys. | ||
| Those guys came on the scene already knowing who they were. | ||
| I was still figuring it out and all this stuff. | ||
| I'm a lot to figure out for myself, too. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So I was like, damn, man, nobody would book me. | ||
| I'm like, man, fuck. | ||
| So what I would do is I would go on Craigslist and I would book bringer shows, but I would never bring anybody. | ||
| And that's how I would get my shows. | ||
| They'd be like, oh, are you going to bring 15 people? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I'm going to bring 15 people. | ||
| And I show up and I bring nobody, but they would still let me go up. | ||
| And I was like, all right, well, this is what's going to happen. | ||
| You're not going to bring anybody, but what you're going to do is you're going to go up there. | ||
| Explain a bringer show to people because a lot of people don't know what a bringer show is. | ||
| So a bringer show is like when you're like a younger comic and you want to do shows and stuff, there are promoters who are like, hey, you can do a show here in the belly room, but you have to bring 20 people. | ||
| Was it that many? | ||
| Is it 20? | ||
| Sometimes it'd be 20, sometimes it'd be 15. But the bedroom only seats like 80. Yeah! | ||
| And some people... | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
| When I was doing music coming up, just like this, the place we used to play would make us sell 100 tickets to play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| Yeah! | ||
| And here's what they used to do. | ||
| They used to say shit like, listen, He's like, this is comedy. | ||
| Every show is a bringer show. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's like, you're going to have to bring people for the rest of your life. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And I was up there like, nigga, my grandma is not going to come out to every single fucking show. | ||
| Like, I don't know 20 people. | ||
| That's a crazy number. | ||
| That's a crazy number. | ||
| They didn't have that in Boston when I started out. | ||
| They just had open mic nights, and people either came or they can't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, over there, I haven't done Boston like one time, but I haven't done their scene. | ||
| What'd you do out there? | ||
| I did a show. | ||
| Did you do LaughBoston.club? | ||
| I think it was an individual. | ||
| Dependent show that Black Thought was running. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's Philly. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Okay, I've never done Boston. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I was in Philly, Boston. | ||
| All right, yeah. | ||
| But I'll... | ||
| Fuck, I forgot what the fuck I was going to say. | ||
| Bring Your Shows, 20 People... | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But out here... | ||
| Out here, our mics are just a gang of comics and shit like that, but out there, real people would go to you guys as open mics and shit like that. | ||
| We would rarely get real people in our little open mics and shit. | ||
| So you're basically practicing for the friends of other comedians. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Yeah, and so that was our come up. | ||
| It stifles growth, I think, a little bit, those bringer shows, because you don't get a real audience. | ||
| Yeah, you get your grandma, and you bring friends who think that you're funny on the street, but they want to see you on the stage, and they'll be like, yo, be funny now. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Now it's a different... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and you can't keep bringing them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And also, you know you're doing stand-up for your friends. | ||
| So, like, they're right there. | ||
| I'm seeing my friends. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, I could do this shit in the fucking living room, like we always do, but... | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| What are you doing out here? | ||
| So, I'm doing shows all week. | ||
| I've been doing shows all week. | ||
| I told myself earlier, I was here from the 28th through the 1st in December. | ||
| And from the 28th, December 21st to the 1st. | ||
| And just to get a little taste of Austin. | ||
| What are you thinking about coming out here? | ||
| Wink, wink. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| I'm bringing everybody out here. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Joe, you know good and hell well we all following you. | ||
| You know it. | ||
| Listen, once I open the club, I'm going to put the bat signal up. | ||
| Yo, yo. | ||
| And then so I said, alright, my birthday was January 25th, you know, and so I said, well, you know, I always think at the beginning of the year, like, what are you going to do for your birthday? | ||
| You know, and I'm like, alright, you can either go hang out with your family, you can go fuck some hoes at Jeff Ross' house, Or you could take care of your little career and go to Austin and do shows for a week. | ||
| And I was like, all right, well, I've done all except for one. | ||
| So I'm going to go to Austin and do shows for a week. | ||
| And I just booked it and I came out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| We've been doing shows at this place in town called Vulcan Gas Company. | ||
| That's a great little spot. | ||
| I did that yesterday. | ||
| Oh, it's nice, right? | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a great spot. | |
| A little weird people above you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| A little weird. | ||
| The stage is kind of skinny too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But at least it's stand-up in a club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And then on Mondays, Kill Tony at Anton's. | ||
| I did it just this past Monday. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's some funny fucking people in this town, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| Really good local comics. | ||
| Really good. | ||
| We laughed hard. | ||
| And Tony was on fire. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Tony was killing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It was good. | ||
| I love Tony. | ||
| I think he's such a funny person, but I like his confidence. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's ridiculous. | |
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| So he had that confidence when we do the open mic at the improv. | ||
| When we were little dudes, he'd be like, yeah. | ||
| That's the Undertaker's championship belt that he gave me. | ||
| And, of course, I had to give it to Tony. | ||
| There's no way I couldn't. | ||
| Tony needed that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And him with the Undertaker's belt on, I said, you got to take a shirt off photo. | ||
| With the Undertaker's belt on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo. | |
| Look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fucking Tony Henscliffe. | ||
| And like... | ||
| Best roaster in the fucking game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That dude. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's so quick. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's fucking the truth, dude. | ||
| But yeah, he had that confidence in the open mic. | ||
| And then so people, like when we were coming up, people would be like, damn, how is he even feeling like that? | ||
| Like, he Like, how does he even feel like that? | ||
| Like, we don't even know our next joke and he's just up there like... | ||
| Super confident. | ||
| Well, you know, he drove, you know, he bought that Corvette. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He started calling it Corvette confidence. | ||
| I've got Corvette confidence. | ||
| Hey, I'm here for it all, man. | ||
| There's like an undercurrent of this hardcore savagery about him that I'm just like, I'm here for. | ||
| That I'm here for. | ||
| Like, okay, I see you, Tony. | ||
| A lot of people underestimate him because of his voice and his demeanor. | ||
| Don't be doing that. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker, Tony Hanks. | ||
| He is a bad motherfucker and he's savage with the jokes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I respect the shit out of Kanye. | ||
| He'll say shit on, and he writes all the time, too. | ||
| He'll say shit on stage where I'm just like, oh no, he didn't just say that. | ||
| Yep, yep, yep, yep. | ||
| And he knows he can get away with it, because... | ||
| It's part of, it's the way he looks, it's part of, I mean, he's just, he's a funny fucker. | ||
| And he was one of the first to jump in. | ||
| I told him I'm here, I'm like, we got plans. | ||
| He's like, I'm in. | ||
| He came out here before there was anything open. | ||
| After Cap City had closed, he was out here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh man, I fucking, yeah, so thinking about moving out here, but I was telling them outside, somebody got shot outside of my Airbnb a day ago. | ||
| Out here? | ||
| Yeah, in front of my Airbnb in the middle of me about to call an Uber. | ||
| I wonder what like the numbers are in the country in terms of like when the pandemic started to now, like how much violence has gone up. | ||
| It's probably going up a lot. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Do you think it's because you can get away with it more because everybody wearing masks? | ||
| I think there's that. | ||
| I think there's also... | ||
| When you have economic instability, when so many people lost their jobs, they don't know where they're going to make money, people get desperate, and then people get angry, they get evicted, they get forced out of their homes, they lose their jobs, they lose their car, their car gets repossessed, and they don't... | ||
| There's people that are being almost forced into crime. | ||
| In this time. | ||
| That haven't been in their whole life. | ||
| There's people that maybe would be slightly inclined to do something shady, but they got a good job, and they're going to keep on keeping on. | ||
| But then when that job's gone, and then there's no money coming in, people start plotting and scheming, and it's just natural. | ||
| They get desperate. | ||
| It's like that Jim Carrey movie, Fun with Dick and Jane. | ||
| Where they lost everything. | ||
| You never saw that one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where they lost everything. | ||
| So they started going on like a crime spree and all this shit. | ||
| Like a Bonnie and Clyde type deal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what happened is that like, okay, so when COVID hit or whatever, everybody started getting unemployment, right? | ||
| So you talk about like scheming and all this shit. | ||
| So I went over my aunt's house and my big brother was over there and he was up to like, yeah, man. | ||
| He was up to like, so what you gonna do? | ||
| And I was like, Ah, you know, man. | ||
| I mean, I may draw and do some art and sell that and stuff. | ||
| He was like, or, and my little brother is in prison, so he's like, or we can get that nigga Chase Social Security number and then type that in and get his unemployment. | ||
| And I was like, nigga, I'm on TV. I can't be here. | ||
| I do think that that's brilliant. | ||
| And if I was another nigga, I... But people getting fucked up for that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People getting... | ||
| Well, the other thing that was happening with the unemployment was there was a lot of people that if they went back to work, they'd be risking their life. | ||
| But if they just said, no, I'm too scared to go back to work, they still get that unemployment. | ||
| And then you're not working for long periods of time. | ||
| You start to change the way you look at work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You start to change the way you look at things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you hear about stimulus checks. | ||
| Like, where's this fucking stimulus checks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You start thinking, like, we're just going to start getting checks. | ||
| That could be a dangerous thing if the government just starts paying everybody. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I just don't think they have the money for it. | ||
| Where's it going to come from? | ||
| Somehow or another, they're going to have to take it from somewhere, or they're going to have to start printing money. | ||
| Look, for sure, people need money to get back on track. | ||
| The problem is if... | ||
| If the government starts doing this on a regular basis and then they keep shutting things down and they keep giving... | ||
| This is going to be some George Orwell shit. | ||
| It's 1984 shit. | ||
| We're going to be fully dependent on the government to keep cities open, to keep towns open. | ||
| And then we're going to be compliant to the ridiculous rules. | ||
| Like you heard the shit they're doing in LA. We were talking about it before the show today. | ||
| That LA, they're going to allow outdoor dining, but you can't have a TV on. | ||
| What the fuck does that mean? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| Who the fuck are you to tell people they can't have a TV on? | ||
| Do they have a... | ||
| Jamie, is there an explanation for why? | ||
| Why does that matter? | ||
| Because it doesn't matter. | ||
| They're fucking criminals. | ||
| These fucking people think they can just tell you what to do. | ||
| LA County says no TVs for outdoor diners at local restaurants. | ||
| What? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Yeah, why? | ||
| Does it say why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| This provision is effective until further notice. | ||
| They don't have to tell you. | ||
| They don't have to tell you shit. | ||
| These fucking creeps. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I mean, it's like I said before, it's like, at least you don't gotta worry about them broadcasting the coronavirus. | ||
| It says sporting events like we talked about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is what it says. | ||
| It says the broadcast performing to patrons in an effort to keep restaurants from becoming overcrowded for sporting events, such as the upcoming Super Bowl. | ||
| First of all, there's no evidence that this virus spreads outside. | ||
| No. | ||
| None. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Zilch. | ||
| You can't find any evidence. | ||
| There's no studies. | ||
| If you look at all the... | ||
| When they have a pie chart of how the virus spreads, it spreads in supermarkets. | ||
| It spreads a little bit in various indoor businesses. | ||
| There's a very small percentage you show in restaurants, but it's mostly people working in the kitchen that are catching it. | ||
| They're in tight quarters working together all the time. | ||
| There's no evidence that it spreads outside. | ||
| None. | ||
| So this idea about them being overcrowded, there's no evidence. | ||
| Here's the thing, because I remember before LA shut down, I remember Saddle Ranch was packed and stuff, but it was outside, but they were packed. | ||
| And I was like, that looks unhealthy too. | ||
| They're outside, but they're still close together. | ||
| And we couldn't do shows right down the street. | ||
| And you know why? | ||
| It's because they were about to start doing shows again, but then somebody caught the health department on the Comedy Store, and then that shit shut it down. | ||
| But why? | ||
| Because I think it was like a troll or somebody who didn't fuck with a comedy store like that. | ||
| But that's what happened. | ||
| But what were they saying? | ||
| What could they say that could have shut down? | ||
| They just said that... | ||
| All I remember is that they said that it was like a health problem and stuff like that. | ||
| And so they shut it down. | ||
| Right when we were about... | ||
| They were going to start letting us perform in the parking lot. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| Bring back the best of the comedy store in the parking lot. | ||
| And yeah, somebody got it shut down. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| So did you ever see when we had to perform in the window? | ||
| Yeah, I did see that. | ||
| Yeah, that shit was... | ||
| That didn't make any sense either. | ||
| That shit was hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was so hard. | ||
| No connection. | ||
| No connection with people. | ||
| And I tried to beat the window so many times I could never do it. | ||
| Beat the window. | ||
| I saw Donnell beat the window. | ||
| I was like, ah, he beat the window! | ||
| Donnell can beat the window. | ||
| Donnell can beat Bulletproof Glass. | ||
| Like... | ||
| He could be prison glass. | ||
| No, he gonna get his. | ||
| We were doing these shows at Stubbs BBQ in town with Chappelle and Mo Hammer and Michelle Wolf and Donnell. | ||
| And this last one we did, we did one run with Tony Hinchcliffe and this last run I did with Ron White. | ||
| And Donnell's been opening up the shows. | ||
| I mean, my God. | ||
| He just comes out of there like a bat out of hell. | ||
| Dude, he's unstoppable. | ||
| Right out of the gate. | ||
| So intense. | ||
| So much energy. | ||
| Dude, he's unstoppable, what he does, dawg. | ||
| I was like, he beat the fucking window. | ||
| I ain't seen comments beat the window. | ||
| Do you think you can beat the window, Joe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can beat the window. | ||
| You can beat the window. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| People just be excited that you're here. | ||
| I don't want to try to beat the window. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Yeah, but Donald doesn't give a fuck when he goes up. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck who he follows. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He just goes out, just pow, pow, pow. | ||
| Cuts blazing. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| Yeah, boo. | ||
| These outdoor shows are different, too. | ||
| It's weird doing an outdoor show. | ||
| The comedy, the laughter is great. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| People are all excited, but it doesn't echo. | ||
| I never liked outdoor amphitheater shows. | ||
| No? | ||
| I've done a few of them, but they're just not as good. | ||
| Like them festival shows? | ||
| Yeah, they're not as good. | ||
| They're not as good. | ||
| What you really want to do is the best shit is less than 500 people is really ideal. | ||
| The main room is ideal. | ||
| Packed main room. | ||
| Packed OR. Comedy works in Denver. | ||
| Cap City in Austin when it was open. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| Low ceiling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pow! | |
| The laughter rocks the fucking place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's wild. | ||
| That's what you want. | ||
| Outdoor shows. | ||
| We were doing this at an amphitheater off of... | ||
| Fuck, what is that? | ||
| It's off of 3rd Street in Beverly. | ||
| I mean, 3rd Street in Beverly. | ||
| Like Beverly. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Pan Pacific Park. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| roll up on their bikes and shit and just sit down in the amphitheater. | ||
| And it was dope. | ||
| You know, it reminded me of a, remember Charlie Barnett? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, it reminded me of doing performances like that. | ||
| Like, where it's like, you know, like, like, so it had that vibes. | ||
| Or at least that was what I tried to bring to it. | ||
| So they weren't bad. | ||
| I, for a second, was the only person doing indoor shows. | ||
| I think Tony told you I was running this show out of my apartment. | ||
| It was called the apartment show Jammers. | ||
| Didn't Tony do it? | ||
| Yeah, he did do it. | ||
| How many people did you have in there? | ||
| Yo, man, it was lit. | ||
| It was like 20 people in that bitch. | ||
| Super spreader, bro. | ||
| No testing. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| I can't afford that goddamn COVID shit, like them damn tests. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So I was giving people hand sanitizer and I provided a mask. | ||
| Because what was happening was I started it last June. | ||
| Like right when COVID hit and comics were like going crazy because we didn't have our passion to fuck with or whatever. | ||
| And I was like, damn. | ||
| And I said, you know what I'm about to do? | ||
| I said, fuck it. | ||
| I said, I'm about to go buy a stereo. | ||
| I'm about to go buy a microphone. | ||
| And I'm going to start a comedy club in my house. | ||
| And my sister was up there like, my sister was like, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She was like, I'll work the door. | ||
| And I was like, all right, for sure. | ||
| So how did you get the people in there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Instagram. | |
| Really? | ||
| I put out feelers, so I was like, alright y'all, I'm thinking about throwing an apartment show at my house. | ||
| How do I get people here? | ||
| And then people were like, I'll come, I'll come. | ||
| People were DMing me and shit like that. | ||
| And I hit up my comic friends and I was like, y'all trying to do some comedy? | ||
| And we did it. | ||
| It was like 20 people up in that motherfucker. | ||
| Nobody got sick? | ||
| No. | ||
| And that's the thing about the show. | ||
| That's another thing, is that no one's ever said that they caught anything from the show. | ||
| And I got a dirty-ass apartment, Joe. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And so, man, we did that joint. | ||
| I did it on Monday for my birthday. | ||
| I brought it out here, but I did it at a hostel. | ||
| It's called Native Hostel. | ||
| I did it at a hostel, and we packed that motherfucker out, but it ain't the same as a fucking apartment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| In the apartment and shit. | ||
| People was chilling on the bed. | ||
| People was chilling in the kitchen. | ||
| That was like the green room. | ||
| I brought PBR for everybody and we got it in. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| People have been doing shows in apartments for a while though. | ||
| Even before COVID, they were doing it for fun. | ||
| I know a lot of people were doing backyard shows. | ||
| I got invited to a few backyard shows and I was like, what are you doing? | ||
| He's like, I'd like you to perform in my backyard. | ||
| I was like, what are you talking about, man? | ||
| You're doing a backyard show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But people had, there was a lot of, like, you could see it on Facebook and Instagram, people that had shows in their apartment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it was just, because, look, it's hard to get stage time in L.A. There's a lot of clubs, but there's a lot of comics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you gotta get past, and it's a grind. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| It's a grind. | ||
| And it's like, once you get past... | ||
| Once you get past the open mic levels, I feel like stage time kind of... | ||
| You know how many stages you can hit if you were an open miker and stuff? | ||
| It ain't like that. | ||
| Once you get past that level, it's like, man, you can probably... | ||
| In L.A., It's like, man, you could probably hit like three spots. | ||
| Improv, Laugh Factory, Comedy Store, and that's about it. | ||
| Maybe Ice House if you want to drive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Comedy Magic Club if you're really ambitious. | ||
| Yo, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but if you're an open mic, you could do 30 of them. | ||
| Dog, I remember doing nine open mics on a Sunday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Nine on a Sunday? | ||
| I just wanted to see how many I could fucking hit. | ||
| And I pulled off nine. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you gotta get in the community, right? | ||
| And once you're in the community, then people let you know where they're all at. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they're spread out in these weird little bars and comic book stores and weird, strange places that have mics. | ||
| Where's the weirdest place you perform? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Well, I did bachelor parties with no microphone. | ||
| That was rough. | ||
| That was rough. | ||
| Just a bunch of drunk dudes. | ||
| Obviously, they don't have any money. | ||
| They would have bought a stripper. | ||
| Hired a stripper to come. | ||
| And there wasn't no stripper there? | ||
| No, just me. | ||
| Those were the roughest ones. | ||
| I did a Jack and Jill strip club in Rhode Island. | ||
| That was the weirdest one, because a Jack and Jill strip club is like, there was a time where they tried to have strip clubs where a man performs and a woman performs and couples would go. | ||
| Like a man and a female stripper? | ||
| Like a man would strip and then a female would strip. | ||
| And the couple would sit there and watch both of them. | ||
| It was so strange. | ||
| And the people that went up, they looked like the type of people you'd expect at this kind of place. | ||
| And, you know, in the audience, there was maybe six people in the audience. | ||
| And, you know, you know how sometimes you bomb and it's like, you know, you just it just feels terrible. | ||
| This is I was bombing and it felt like I was performing in front of people that didn't understand a word I was saying. | ||
| I didn't get any noise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was nothing. | ||
| It didn't even feel bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was like, what is this? | ||
| I mean, I was, you know, young in the game anyway. | ||
| I was only probably doing comedy a year and a half or so. | ||
| It was because it was a terrible gig. | ||
| It was for this dude. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I'm trying to remember the guy, the booking agent's name. | ||
| But he had a bunch of these weird fucking gigs in Rhode Island. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Like, they were all real shady. | ||
| Like, strange bars you'd go to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd always get paid, but they were always very weird. | ||
| And this one, there was, like I said, like six people in the audience, and the type of people that you would see in an audience that would come to see a guy's strip and a girl's strip were very strange. | ||
| What would they look like? | ||
| Just like older people that just didn't have any hope and just sitting there and just looked confused as to why they were even there. | ||
| And again, there was only six of them in the whole audience. | ||
| But there was one dude, there was a pool table in the back, there was one dude playing pool. | ||
| And I came over to talk to him, and he was just a regular dude from New Jersey. | ||
| And he's like, man, what the fuck is this place? | ||
| I go, what are you doing here? | ||
| And he goes, I'm in town visiting my family. | ||
| I had to get out of the fucking house. | ||
| And I saw this place, and I came over. | ||
| And he was like, what is this? | ||
| The guy and the girl, both of them, they were not attractive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At all. | ||
| No. | ||
| They both looked like they'd been drinking and doing drugs their whole life. | ||
| They looked sad and tired and bad tattoos. | ||
| And where'd you go up? | ||
| Where'd you go up? | ||
| Did you go up in the middle of? | ||
| The beginning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The beginning. | |
| I'd go up in the beginning, and then I'd bring them up. | ||
| Cold open. | ||
| Then I'd go up in the middle, in between them, and then I'd bring up the girl, and then I'd go up at the end and wrap up the show. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It was a nightmare. | ||
| You did crowd work? | ||
| I tried. | ||
| First of all, it was terrible. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I've been doing comedy, like I said, like a year and a half, maybe two years. | ||
| I don't really remember. | ||
| But I wasn't good. | ||
| And then on top of that, these people just were barely awake. | ||
| It was in Woonsocket, Rhode Island, which is like a very... | ||
| It's a Portuguese section of Rhode Island. | ||
| Rhode Island has a lot of Portuguese immigrants, for whatever reason, that came to that area. | ||
| So these motherfuckers might not have even spoke that much English. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm telling you, dude, I didn't get any response. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It was like... | ||
| Silence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I remember that one. | ||
| But that one didn't even make me feel bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember leaving that one just laughing. | ||
| Like, what in the fuck? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| Fuck, I can't even remember the weirdest. | ||
| They're doing them in back of trucks now. | ||
| I know, I saw that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Brad did one of those. | ||
| Yeah, those shows are actually lit. | ||
| It's a good stage. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pickup truck, flatbed. | ||
| I mean, it seems like a good stage. | ||
| Yeah, but that's where comedy is in L.A. right now. | ||
| Well, Eleanor's doing a show at the Magic Castle. | ||
| They have shows in the parking lot. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Tammy Jo runs that shit. | ||
| How are they allowed to do that? | ||
| In the parking lot? | ||
| Yeah, if you can't have outdoor shows. | ||
| Are they just doing it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't even went to the Magic Castle show. | ||
| I don't want to blow her up. | ||
| Maybe they're not still doing it. | ||
| Eleanor had it on their Instagram. | ||
| Eleanor Kerrigan in the house. | ||
| Maybe they're just doing it and waiting for people to shut them down. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Bro, it's bad. | ||
| LA's bad. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm gonna do when I get, maybe I'll go, maybe I'll audition or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what to do when I get back there. | ||
| I think you gotta be in your car still like a drive-in. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I don't like that shit. | ||
| Drive-in stand-up shows? | ||
| When people honk when they want to heckle? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Don't play with me. | ||
| I hate that shit. | ||
| But I'll tell you what, Burt Kreischer's got that shit dialed in. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| He's got it dialed in. | ||
| Yeah, they set up a big stage, and he'll do hundreds. | ||
| Like, I ask him, how many people were in your crowd? | ||
| He goes, 700 cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| But just in fact, you're doing it by car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It seems so bizarre. | ||
| Would you do some shit like that? | ||
| I would do that. | ||
| I would do it with Burt. | ||
| I would do it with Burt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 700 cars sounds like a good time. | ||
| I did an outdoor venue. | ||
| I went to see a show at an outdoor venue. | ||
| Burr was in town. | ||
| What was that place again? | ||
| The place where Burr was at? | ||
| It's in Dripping Springs. | ||
| Is it Waller Creek? | ||
| I don't believe so. | ||
| There's a few amphitheaters in different areas. | ||
| They have, like, these outdoor barbecue spots that have an amphitheater. | ||
| It's like people play music and eat food. | ||
| And Bill was there. | ||
| There was, like, 600 people in the crowd. | ||
| It was literally, like, 40 degrees outside. | ||
| Nutty Brown. | ||
| And we're sitting there zipped up to tie a jacket on, zipped up to my face, just sitting there shivering, laughing my ass off. | ||
| But Bill murdered it, man. | ||
| Seeing him, seeing real stand-up, like real and current events shit, talking about all the stuff that's going on in the world right now, it was so good. | ||
| And he's been on a tear, man. | ||
| He's been traveling all over the country, just doing outdoor shows and being careful and wearing masks. | ||
| He won't even shake your hand, even me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I go, dude, I get tested every day. | ||
| He's like, I'll give you an elbow. | ||
| I'll give you an elbow. | ||
| And then he came in here, we both got tested, then he gave me a hug. | ||
| Right, that's funny. | ||
| I try to get him to come to my apartment show. | ||
| I tried. | ||
| He wants, you know, he's gotta be safe. | ||
| He's like, absolutely not. | ||
| He needs to make the money off of stand-up, because he doesn't, I mean, he makes money off his podcast, you know, but I'm sure he's got a, you know, he's got a large nut. | ||
| And he was complaining on stage about his wife spending money, so I'm sure that's real, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| There's so many people that didn't have a podcast that all of a sudden their income went away. | ||
| And they thought, okay, it'll go away for a month. | ||
| I'll be fine. | ||
| And then here we are 11 months later. | ||
| Like, what in the fuck is going on? | ||
| When can we go back to work? | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| Most people, I knew people that were criticizing other people for going on the road, and now they're on the road. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they realize, oh, we've got to take this shit into our own hands. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My mom was like, oh, my God, you going to Austin? | ||
| You going to Austin? | ||
| Why are you traveling? | ||
| I said, bitch, I got to work. | ||
| You going to give me rent money? | ||
| Bitch, I got to fucking work. | ||
| And then she was like, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Joey Diaz got mad at me at first. | ||
| Why are you going to fucking Houston, Joe Rogan? | ||
| What are you doing, Joe Rogan? | ||
| You know, the first time I did the improv. | ||
| I was like, listen, man, I miss it. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| He's like, stay home. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stay home. | |
| Mind your business. | ||
| But he's doing stand-up now. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| After a while, people just can't take it anymore. | ||
| He's like, you know you need it. | ||
| Yeah, they can't take it anymore. | ||
| He's being careful. | ||
| He lives in Jersey now, for now. | ||
| I'm going to have him come out here, too. | ||
| He has to come out here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I miss seeing him, dude. | ||
| That's the glue. | ||
| That's the glue that held the wildness together at the store. | ||
| He don't give a fuck about nothing. | ||
| That's real, too. | ||
| And I didn't... | ||
| Since I wasn't... | ||
| I wasn't like... | ||
| I wasn't like familiar with his personality and stuff. | ||
| So I remember one time... | ||
| I think you were there. | ||
| Like I got my... | ||
| I got my keys stuck in my car in the parking lot. | ||
| And then people couldn't get out of the comic store parking lot. | ||
| And he couldn't get out... | ||
| You think you got out, but like, but whatever. | ||
| So the next day I saw him at the parking lot. | ||
| He was like, hey, jerk off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, he was up there like, stop getting your fucking keys locked in your car. | |
| He was like, all right, you know, Uncle Joey loves you. | ||
| And I was like, I've never even talked to this man in my life. | ||
| But I love I love how you just I love that. | ||
| I'm like, I love him. | ||
| Well, you know, he's got that wild East Coast sense of communication. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Insulting you is a sign of love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It's like, have fun. | ||
| That was one thing that I noticed when I came from New York to L.A. is like, New York comics are constantly shitting on each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And L.A. comics, at least in the 90s, when I first moved to L.A., they were all trying to get sitcoms, man. | ||
| They weren't insulting anybody. | ||
| That's all they were trying to do. | ||
| They were trying to just make everybody their friend. | ||
| Out here, I mean, nowadays, it picked back up a little bit in LA, but now they do it under roast battle. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Now it's like that. | ||
| But just outwardly and shit, people don't like to step on toes because people are still trying to... | ||
| They're trying to get ahead. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, that's part of the showbiz aspect of Hollywood. | ||
| It's like they all wanted to be cast in shows and they wanted to make sure they don't say anything too crazy. | ||
| I know a lot of comics that didn't want to do certain jokes or certain topics even though they thought it was funny because they were worried that a casting agent wouldn't put them in a show or an executive would see it and they would think they'd be too... | ||
| I'm like, God damn it, man. | ||
| You're a comic. | ||
| First and foremost, you're a comic. | ||
| I figure... | ||
| This has always been my strategy. | ||
| I figure, come out crazy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Come out crazy and then let them see that. | ||
| Then scale it back. | ||
| Control it. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| But come out crazy so they know what the fuck they may be getting... | ||
| Well, listen, man. | ||
| These fucking people, they're all led by whatever they think is the standard that they have to adhere to. | ||
| If you were alone with them, they would call people retards, and they would say crazy shit, and they would laugh at bad jokes. | ||
| But when they're together under the guise of being a part of a network, it's like they have a career to protect, and everyone's Worried. | ||
| The one thing that's beautiful about live comedy is you add a few drinks. | ||
| People are smoking weed. | ||
| The place is dark. | ||
| The spotlight comes on the comic. | ||
| You say wild shit. | ||
| Everyone's laughing. | ||
| Then you find yourself laughing. | ||
| It breaks down all these walls and you realize, no, this is just fun. | ||
| This is not what you really mean. | ||
| He's just being wild and it's fun to watch. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I remember a long time ago coming up in a comic, one of the best things I ever heard. | ||
| Oh, am I in the way? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Jamie's moving me over. | ||
| I'm trying to get a hand signal. | ||
| I'm trying to see his eyes. | ||
| One of the best things that a comic ever told me, even like earlier in life, was like, yo man, the audience comes to hear and see some crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, well, especially at the store. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you gotta establish that. | ||
| I remember in the improv, that wasn't the case. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the improv, like the early days, Joey used to go to the improv, and he's like, Joe Rogan, I don't like that fucking place. | ||
| There's too many fucking mutts. | ||
| Too many white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what he's saying. | |
| He's like, too many fucking mutts. | ||
| I say some shit, they fucking get all, they clutch their pearls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But eventually, we started doing shows there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so when we started doing shows, like we did these Joe Rogan and Friends shows, then everybody knew. | ||
| We were getting our people to come down there, and then it was wild again. | ||
| Then Joey loved it. | ||
| Dude, I remember getting banned from the improv. | ||
| I remember getting banned from the improv because we had this thing called... | ||
| It was me and the guys I was coming up with, and we all had a showcase. | ||
| It was called maybe Best of the Improv, or New Faces of the Improv, or something like that. | ||
| All my friends were honored and stuff, and You know, everybody, you know, everybody is kind of like straight edge, kind of like, you know, clean and shit like that. | ||
| And then I would have to go up last and I was getting frustrated in the back and I was forgetting my jokes. | ||
| And so when I, when I forget and I just say, fuck it. | ||
| So I went up there. | ||
| I think I talked about I think I talked about like I had a joke about like my grandma making me smell her pussy when I got bad grades laughter laughter laughter it was so fucking absurd laughter It was like, what kind of grades you getting? | ||
| It was like, oh, F, come here. | ||
| Smell this. | ||
| I was like, no. | ||
| That's such a ridiculous joke. | ||
| It's such an absurd joke, but at that time, you know Rita from the improv? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| She was up there like, so we had to do, oh, and by the way, I ended that set by saying, fuck y'all and goodnight, and I tried I don't know what the fuck came over to me, but I was like, oh, bro, I think that that's just your spirit taking over. | ||
| Like, that's just who the fuck... | ||
| That's just a preview of who you're gonna be later on as a fucking comic. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So, Rita... | ||
| How many years in were you? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| I was like, um... | ||
| I was probably 22, so 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. I was five years in. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But you were only 22. Yeah. | ||
| And so, um... | ||
| And so the next day, Rita, she had everybody, like, she never did this shit. | ||
| The next day was the open mic. | ||
| She had everybody sitting down, and I kind of come in a little late, and she was just sitting on the stage talking, like, talking to all the comics. | ||
| I ain't never seen this shit in my life. | ||
| So she was giving people their reviews. | ||
| She was like, Gerard, amazing. | ||
| Angelo, amazing. | ||
| She was like, oh, you could do this, but you did a great job. | ||
| And then she was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did you think you were doing? | |
| And I was like, oh, I was trying to be funny, Rita. | ||
| And then she was like, smell your grandmother's pussy! | ||
| I wish I was there. | ||
| I'd be like, Rita, that shit is hilarious. | ||
| Let them grow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The audience was confused, though, too. | |
| I ain't gonna lie. | ||
| They were like... | ||
| Listen, you need to bring that joke back. | ||
| Have you been doing that lately? | ||
| Hell no, that was like... | ||
| Oh my god, please, Jamar, bring that back. | ||
| You can figure out a way to make that work. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Today, you can make that work. | ||
| Yeah, now, but back then... | ||
| Right, but that's always the case in the beginning. | ||
| That's what I would call a black belt premise. | ||
| It's a complicated premise. | ||
| It's not like a white belt premise. | ||
| A white belt premise is like, oh, you know, it's easy. | ||
| Set up punchlines, obvious what you're talking about. | ||
| You're saying some wild shit. | ||
| The audience has to have trust in you for you to joke about your grandmother's smelly pussy and how you have to smell it if you have bad grades. | ||
| That shit looks retarded, dog. | ||
| Yeah, but it's making me laugh right now. | ||
| And the fuck part about that shit is that, like, if I'm in a joke, like, if I'm in a joke, I don't care at what level of comedy I was ever at, if I'm in it, I'm gonna do the whole fucking thing, whether I'm bombing or not. | ||
| Like, the whole act out, like, I'll put the whole story and that shit and everything. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if it's quiet at the end. | ||
| I'm like, mm. | ||
| Well, no one here's grandma's had a stinky pussy before, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one here's got an F? Okay. | |
| How did you get involved in doing the roast battle shit? | ||
| Because when you guys would do, when it was you and Jeremiah and Willie, and you guys would act out, when someone would kill somebody with a roast, you guys would pile onto the stage and act out various scenarios, and it made the show. | ||
| It made the show. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I really appreciate that because people online was eating us up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They was like, who in the fuck are these idiots? | |
| You can't read those. | ||
| But it wasn't about that for us. | ||
| We were just trying to have fun. | ||
| So in the beginning stages of the roast battle, and shout out to Jeff for letting us do that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's a wild move. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| But I feel like a show like that, where you're constantly spouting these insults and shit like that, and a lot of them are really fucking dark, you need a palate cleanser. | ||
| It don't matter. | ||
| That's a good way to put it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a very good way to put it. | ||
| Yeah, so at the beginning, like, when they first start, like, the origins of it and shit, when they first start, like, me, Willie, and Jeremiah, we'd be sitting, like, just watching these motherfuckers, like, just talk shit about each other. | ||
| And I naturally have a big laugh and whatever. | ||
| It's damn near over-exaggerated and shit. | ||
| And then so Jeremiah and we all, like, would start watching it. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| And then I would laugh and I would do different shit. | ||
| I would start dancing and shit on stage and shit like that or whatever. | ||
| And then Jeremiah and them start coming in and all this stuff. | ||
| And then so that shit escalated. | ||
| So one time, like one week, we were like, hey man, let's go to Goodwill. | ||
| And every time somebody says something funny, I was like, we just go up there in these different props and shit, right? | ||
| And then so... | ||
| And so then it would get like really fucking elaborate. | ||
| We would do like costumes and shit like that. | ||
| But it all started from just over laughing and just like trying to just fuck around and kind of troll the fucking battlers kind of sort of and the whole thing or whatever. | ||
| But that's how it started. | ||
| And yeah, man. | ||
| Did you guys get together and plan out like various little things that could possibly be happening if someone kills somebody? | ||
| And how did you know when to bring out which one? | ||
| So, um, okay, so we would get very, uh, so we would go prop shopping. | ||
| Some of that shit didn't make sense, but, like, we would go prop shopping and shit, but, um... | ||
| Is there a video compilation of, like, the best of the wave? | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Oh, find that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| There should be if there isn't. | ||
| Yeah, there has to be. | ||
| So we would go prop shopping and shit like that, right? | ||
| And we would know who was battling or whatever. | ||
| And so we were like, well, this person's fat. | ||
| This person's a lesbian. | ||
| This person's trans or whatever. | ||
| So they're probably going to say stuff like this. | ||
| So let's get this rainbow flag. | ||
| Let's get some gasoline. | ||
| So when somebody says something about this gay dude, we're going to burn the rainbow flag. | ||
| Did you guys actually burn a flag? | ||
| We burned a Confederate flag in Alabama and the whole crowd gave us a standing ovation. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that was like one of the bits. | ||
| Indoors burning a flag is dangerous as fuck. | ||
| But that's the dope thing about the wave is that people never ever knew what the fuck we were going to do. | ||
| So we would get away with shit like that because of the air of unpredictability. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, man. | ||
| It's a great name for the group of you, too. | ||
| The Wave. | ||
| Because before we did the roast battle, I would be in the OR and... | ||
| And, um, when somebody would do something funny, I would, I would, I was always an overlaugher anyway, whatever. | ||
| And, um, so one time somebody did something, I was like, ha ha ha! | ||
| And I was like, whoa! | ||
| Whatever, right? | ||
| And then so, uh, and then so we started doing that, like, in the roast battle, too. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I was like, oh man, we should just call ourselves the wave, or whatever, and this and that. | ||
| We're the wave, you know? | ||
| And then so every time, like, they shout us out, we'd be like, whoa! | ||
| And like sometimes a whole crowd will fucking do it and shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Because it's literally a wave of whatever the fuck's about to happen after this joke. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And you guys did it for it. | ||
| Like I came to the store in 2014 and one of the things, I came back to the store, one of the things that brought me back, the big thing that brought me back was Ari because Ari was filming a special there the next day and I had to go. | ||
| I had to be there for that. | ||
| Ari's one of my best friends. | ||
| And the other thing was, I wanted to see Roast Battle, because everybody told me about it. | ||
| And I remember being up there and sitting in that audience going, wow, this is special. | ||
| Like, first of all, the jokes, the joke writing was excellent. | ||
| These people that I didn't even know, they were crushing each other, and then you guys would run on stage and make Chaos. | ||
| And I was like, this is a wild, creative fucking show. | ||
| But that was 2014. Yeah. | ||
| So we're talking about six, seven years, seven without COVID, six years of solid performances. | ||
| Yup, yup, yup. | ||
| And it was so fucking fun. | ||
| And the dope, one of the dopest things about that, and it made me really appreciate what we get to do, you know, is I remember a time we went to JFL to do it live. | ||
| And I was sitting there and I was getting kind of nervous about the show because this was a live show. | ||
| They were going to do it live for Comedy Central. | ||
| And I was like, I was a little nervous about the show, like in my hotel room. | ||
| And I was like, bro, I was telling myself, I was like, man, you need to chill out. | ||
| And I said, what you need to do, get those red pants, get that wig and go up there and dance like James Brown. | ||
| Oh yeah! | ||
| Get up! | ||
| And so there was a bit of... | ||
| I don't know whose battle it was, but I don't know if you ever got it or whatever, but it's me up there dancing like James Brown and shit like that or whatever. | ||
| We were having a great time. | ||
| Even online may have not liked it, but if you were there... | ||
| Listen, man, fuck the online. | ||
| Yeah, fuck them, for real. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| They're just a bunch of malcontents. | ||
| You know, this is what I always say. | ||
| It's not like people don't comment interesting shit on YouTube videos or Instagram. | ||
| They do. | ||
| There's some people that do. | ||
| But the people that complain all the time, most of them, 99% of them, I'm making that number up, are fucking losers. | ||
| That's why they're complaining about shit all the time. | ||
| Well, I figured that's what the comment section is for anyway, because I ain't gonna lie, I'm gonna troll my goddamn self. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, yeah, yeah, but all that mattered to us is that we were having fun and that we got to do this. | ||
| It's one of the best parts of the show. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Anybody who doesn't get that, it's one of the best parts. | ||
| I remember there was one where somebody got somebody. | ||
| I forget what happened, but you guys came out with, what are those things that pop out of cans that look like worms and Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The streamers were popping out. | ||
| You guys were rolling. | ||
| I'm like, this is wild! | ||
| Because whoever it was got this person so good, and then you guys all fell out on the stage like, and it was amazing. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| And you could see in the audience, the laughter was hard, and then it took it to another level. | ||
| And then people are like, this show is amazing. | ||
| That show is one of the best creations of the store. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Moses is the perfect guy to host it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he's so nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's so funny and he's so nice. | ||
| And then he makes everybody hug it out at the end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hug it out. | ||
| Like, there's no meanness coming from Moses. | ||
| Like, if Hinchcliffe was hosting it, it might go too dark. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Moses is like, I don't have a side. | ||
| I'm just, go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right, break it up. | ||
| But he's also fun, and he's just a good dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it's like, that comes off when he's on stage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then when he would host it, it was just, man! | ||
| I miss that show. | ||
| I used to drop in on Tuesday nights just to watch, just to see some chaos and just see some creativity and some young comics just getting after it. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| And I used to get up there and I used to fucking battle and all that shit. | ||
| And that was fun. | ||
| But then I had to stop doing that because I don't like the idea of thinking about somebody for two whole fucking weeks and stuff like that. | ||
| Writing jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it did help, like, my joke writing and all that stuff. | ||
| Oh, it's a great joke writing exercise. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| But I think being in the wave, like, really, like, developed me, though, as a performer, though, too. | ||
| Like, that was doing some work on our shit, too, you know? | ||
| Oh, yeah, you had to commit. | ||
| And the other thing is that that was a late-night show. | ||
| And it was always sold out. | ||
| It was perfect. | ||
| It was always sold out. | ||
| Like, there was a line. | ||
| I mean, what time did that thing start? | ||
| Okay, it would start at 1030. They would do like a mic or like a little book spots ahead and then at 1145. That's when it would start. | ||
| So really, the show started at almost midnight on a Tuesday night and it would be mobbed. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Mobbed! | ||
| I mean, it was supposed to have... | ||
| Listen, I'm not going back to the store, because it's not going back. | ||
| It's not going to be the store again. | ||
| I'll go back if it comes back, but I'm going to be honest about the numbers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| The fire department probably wanted about 80 people in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| There was probably about 150. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Easy, 200. You couldn't wear good shoes up there. | ||
| You'd get fucked. | ||
| I was downstairs below it, and I remember someone was crushing, and you guys were jumping around, and the ceiling was moving. | ||
| I was like, oh my god. | ||
| I was like, when was the last time anybody did a structural assessment? | ||
| Just to hang up in those back stairs just so you could hear. | ||
| If you couldn't get in, you'd be like, I'm open if you can hear it. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| But there was some motion at one time. | ||
| The ceiling was moving. | ||
| I was like, imagine if everybody just came piling into the fucking kitchen. | ||
| If the ceiling collapsed. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| We used to turn that fucking belly room out, man. | ||
| We need to do that shit out here. | ||
| We need to have roast battle in Austin. | ||
| He brought... | ||
| The guy Frost doing... | ||
| He ain't doing shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on out, Jeff Ross. | ||
| Some guy brought it up that he was going to start it back up out here and he was like, I would love for you to do the wave and I was like, I don't do the wave anymore, kid. | ||
| I'm past that. | ||
| I tried to big time him. | ||
| Well, you probably should be past that. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, but that's what I'm saying. | ||
| I would definitely do something with my friends, with the wave or whatever, but I don't want to go on stage and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You did it forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was just... | ||
| I think things that are just wild like that are great for the soul of comedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what I felt when I was there in that audience. | ||
| And again, this was the night before Ari filmed a special. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I decided I had to go there a day earlier. | ||
| I'll be overwhelmed because I knew I was going to start crying. | ||
| So I got there. | ||
| I was like, okay, let me just see what the store is like now. | ||
| And then Jeff Ross introduced me to the crowd and it was weird, man. | ||
| It felt weird. | ||
| It felt like, oh my god, it was crazy. | ||
| But the feeling of the room was like, this is... | ||
| This is not the same comedy store that I left seven years ago. | ||
| This is a better place. | ||
| It's more creative. | ||
| It's more wild. | ||
| To be there, that wasn't packed the same way. | ||
| That was only a legit 90 people, but it was still fun, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was crazy. | |
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| We used to tear the roof off that place, man. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Because, you know, we'd work all week doing whatever job we had before. | ||
| You know, maybe it was a writing job or somebody had. | ||
| But every fucking Tuesday, you know, every fucking Tuesday, like me, Jeremiah, and Willie, we'd get giddy. | ||
| We'd be like, oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gonna do that? | |
| Okay, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm like, all right, man. | ||
| I'm gonna get Willie. | ||
| All right, I'm gonna get Willie. | ||
| I remember Dennis Rodman jumped in the wave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dennis Rodman, big drunk ass, jumped in the fucking wave. | ||
| We were like, fuck it. | ||
| I was like, this is what kind of party it is. | ||
| Dennis Rodman, Bobby Brown jumped in the wave. | ||
| Bobby Brown was there? | ||
| Bobby Brown was at the store a bunch of times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I ran into Bobby Brown at a sushi place. | ||
| It was one of those weird things where when I was a kid, every little step I take... | ||
| You know, like, I knew Bobby. | ||
| Everybody knew Bobby Brown. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I run into Bobby Brown at a sushi place. | ||
| He says hi to me. | ||
| He was like, what's up, Joe? | ||
| I was like, oh my God, Bobby Brown knows who I am. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was so strange. | ||
| Shaking his hand, giving him a hug. | ||
| I was like, wow, Bobby Brown. | ||
| Bobby Brown. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That comedy store, you know, that place was such a... | ||
| Look, look, look. | ||
| Oh, look at you guys. | ||
| Is this the best of age? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at Dennis Rodman! | |
| Dennis Rodman! | ||
| And Jeremiah's translating! | ||
| Look at Moses! | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dennis, Dennis, Dennis! | |
| We already know everything about you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's nothing else! | |
| And WorldStar doesn't have subtitles. | ||
| What the fuck is happening right now? | ||
| I'll take you a selfie with it. | ||
| Oh, that's so funny. | ||
| Well, there's a real value in a little club like that, a tiny spot. | ||
| And that's one of the things that I want to have out here. | ||
| I want to have a small club, too. | ||
| I don't think you just have a big club like the main room. | ||
| I think you need a belly room. | ||
| I think you need a little laboratory, you know, just to fuck around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it would be really hard to create a show like that or, like, a lot of others. | ||
| Like, Kill Tony started out in the belly room, too. | ||
| Yep, I remember that. | ||
| Yeah, like, you need a laboratory. | ||
| You need a place where you're just kind of fucking around. | ||
| There's lower expectations. | ||
| It's more of a hang. | ||
| When you get to a large audience, everybody's like, wow, this place is packed. | ||
| This is a big thing. | ||
| Yeah, like, you do that small club to go do the big club. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But I feel like it's, like... | ||
| Like, training. | ||
| Like, you need to do running, and then you also need to hit the bag. | ||
| You need to do different shit. | ||
| You need to lift weights. | ||
| You need cross-training. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| I still do. | ||
| But, like, I would speak about training and stuff like that. | ||
| Like, I would go to the gym for fucking six hours, Joe. | ||
| Six hours every motherfucking day, bro. | ||
| Just to mentally prepare myself for doing comedy. | ||
| Six hours? | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| What would you do for six hours? | ||
| Anything I could think of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Anything I could fucking... | ||
| I accidentally learned how to box just by being in the gym for six hours. | ||
| Like for every fucking day. | ||
| You learned boxing by yourself? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I would take little... | ||
| I would see people in the gym and stuff like that. | ||
| What gym were you working out at? | ||
| Fortune, Box Engine. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Justin Fortune. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's legit. | ||
| Yeah, I love Justin. | ||
| Joey Diaz used to go there, too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| All the... | ||
| Yeah, all... | ||
| I like... | ||
| You see fucking Sylvester Stallone, brother, in that motherfucker. | ||
| Ew! | ||
| I'm here to work out, though. | ||
| Just to fucking mentally prepare myself for a fucking 15-minute set at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Like, it's fucking retarded. | ||
| So you just hit a fight, didn't you? | ||
| Didn't you take a fight? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| We talked about it before. | ||
| We talked about it. | ||
| It was almost a year ago. | ||
| Yeah, right before COVID hit, actually. | ||
| Yeah, you were telling me you were thinking about taking a fight. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I said, because I was going to go do Golden Gloves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was 34, so I was like, and I was going to do the Golden Gloves because I was 34, and the cutoff to do it is 35. And one of the main reasons I wanted to do it, because I heard that... | ||
| I heard that Eddie Murphy had done it. | ||
| Eddie Murphy fought in the Golden Gloves? | ||
| Or Silver Gloves or some shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Or they used to box when they were younger. | ||
| And then Martin Lawrence. | ||
| Well, his brother Charlie was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Very good martial artist. | ||
| I hear stories. | ||
| Yeah, he was good. | ||
| I was with Charlie Murphy, we were on tour, and I was with Maury Smith, who was UFC heavyweight champion, and Ivan Salivari, who was one of the top fighters in the UFC. And we had done a show together, and then me and Charlie did a show together, and then we all went out to eat, and these guys came out to see me. | ||
| So afterwards, we're all eating dinner, and I think Brian Redband had the photo of this conversation on his Instagram, and I think he sent it to me, and I might have put it on my Instagram or my Twitter. | ||
| But Charlie Murphy was holding court. | ||
| You got UFC, former heavyweight champion of the world, Maury Smith. | ||
| You got Ivan Salivari, top flight UFC fighter. | ||
| And you got me and a couple of my friends. | ||
| And then Charlie Murphy's standing up, talking about, you motherfuckers don't know how to throw the Chicago Ridge hand. | ||
| Like he had some strike. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| 2007! | ||
| Look at Charlie! | ||
| That's Ivan Salivari's the guy with the watch on the far right side. | ||
| Maurice Smith is the guy with the white t-shirt right next to him. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| I'm telling you, Charlie Murphy was holding court. | ||
| We were dying laughing. | ||
| And he was talking about... | ||
| Like, a ridge hand is a weird karate strike where you hit someone with, like, this side of your hand. | ||
| You, like, throw it like this. | ||
| I mean, it's got its place. | ||
| Like, you know how sometimes dudes in MMA, they KO a guy and then they hammer fist a guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Because it's really the best move in certain situations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then a ridge hand, Charlie Murph was saying, y'all motherfuckers don't know about the ridge hand. | ||
| Chicago ridge hand. | ||
| He had, like, this Chicago-style ridge hand. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This shit feels soft. | ||
| It's not the best way to hit somebody. | ||
| But you could, for sure, you could fuck somebody up. | ||
| If you're hitting soft tissue in the face, I wouldn't recommend it for the top of the head. | ||
| Knuckles are better, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, I would never Chicago Ridge hand somebody. | ||
| Maybe my little brother. | ||
| Is that Charlie Box? | ||
| No, no, that's me. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| This motherfucker was so fat. | ||
| The other guy you fought? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Box. | |
| Oh, dude! | ||
| Look at you swinging wild! | ||
| I was like the other thing watching that bitch. | ||
| Are you left-handed? | ||
| I am. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| No kidding. | ||
| Oh, dude, Jamar, look at you go! | ||
| And you get a drink of water when the guy's down? | ||
| You're not supposed to do that. | ||
| That's over anyway, right? | ||
| Isn't it over? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he quit. | |
| The only reason, and I don't take crazy credit for it. | ||
| I mean, a win is a win for sure. | ||
| I mean, that guy was fat as fuck. | ||
| So you had, guys are wearing masks. | ||
| This was COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| When did this fight happen? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it was. | ||
| When did this happen? | ||
| This is like in October. | ||
| In October. | ||
| So did they test you at all? | ||
| No, man. | ||
| No. | ||
| They made a sign of release that says, hey, we're not responsible for anything that happens. | ||
| Any diseases you might catch while you beat the shit out of each other? | ||
| Yeah, and I only did that because I didn't get to do the Golden Gloves. | ||
| Remember, I walked up to you and I was like, Joe, I'm thinking about doing the Golden Gloves. | ||
| You're like, have you ever fought? | ||
| And I was like, yeah, I mean, I spar every now and then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I knew you were in really good shape. | ||
| You were throwing a monkey wrench into this thing that I always disputed. | ||
| There was a thing where people said you couldn't be funny if you were in great shape. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you would go on stage jacked with this full six pack and killing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I still do that shit. | |
| Shirt off! | ||
| And I was like, it's possible. | ||
| Look how funny Jamar is. | ||
| And he's up there with no shirt on. | ||
| He's shredded. | ||
| Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| People think I do that shit just to show off my body. | ||
| And I swear to God, I do it because I think that shit is funny. | ||
| It's kind of ridiculous. | ||
| I mean, just like the mohawk. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's not even really yours. | ||
| Hell no, it's not, man. | ||
| That shit's glued to his head. | ||
| You need to know this. | ||
| Steve Harvey did it for years. | ||
| I could be with my little mohawk. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I don't know why he did it. | ||
| He's got a great head. | ||
| Yeah, but back then... | ||
| Back then, you couldn't be bald. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shit was too perfect. | ||
| We in the hood, we used to debate that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, that is really... | |
| How's this whole perfect deal? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's perfect. | |
| People can have a perfect hairline, bro. | ||
| Some people can't have a perfect hairline. | ||
| It's just not a lot of people. | ||
| That shit looked like a microphone. | ||
| He was destined to be a comic. | ||
| Listen, they did it right. | ||
| They did a good job on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Steve Harvey wear a wig. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| His shit was perfect. | ||
| His lineup? | ||
| Oh, God, it was great. | ||
| Well, you know, some dudes can pull it off. | ||
| Yeah, that is a perfect line. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| God, this must get sweaty as fuck in there when you're on stage. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Killing it for an hour. | ||
| Sweating his wig on top of your head. | ||
| And I'd be playing with this shit like it's my real hair and shit, too. | ||
| How do you glue that thing on your head? | ||
| It's double-sided wig tape. | ||
| I bought this from a costume store. | ||
| It's so fucked up how I started doing it. | ||
| I was doing this one-man show, and I had these four different characters. | ||
| I was looking at the characters, and I was like, okay, that guy's fine. | ||
| That guy's fine. | ||
| I was like, this guy needs a wig. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, this guy needs a wig. | ||
| So I went to the costume store, and I tried on a jerry curl wig. | ||
| And I was like, nah, man. | ||
| I was like, something a little more. | ||
| And then I just put this motherfucker on. | ||
| I was like, bro. | ||
| I was like, that's it. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| And then after the one-man show, I just started wearing it. | ||
| I was like, bro, I think you can just rock this. | ||
| And then so I'm like... | ||
| I love how you wear it sometimes and sometimes not. | ||
| I got to see you at the comedy store and sometimes Jamar would have the mohawk and sometimes not. | ||
| Because I wear it like a hat. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like a sweater. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Bro, I can't, bro. | ||
| I want a purple one. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| I swear. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Yeah, I gotta figure out where to get this purple one. | ||
| Online. | ||
| Online, for sure. | ||
| I got this. | ||
| Jamie will find one right now. | ||
| Purple mohawk mohawk. | ||
| Gonna have a bunch of DMs right now and be like, I'll make you a blue one. | ||
| Some of them will make you all kinds of colors. | ||
| They'll probably make you the whole rainbow. | ||
| Send them, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Send them. | |
| You need a gold one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| I was just looking at your chains. | ||
| I was like, imagine a gold one. | ||
| Bro, with the shirt off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| You would need a net to catch all that pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My grandma's stinkpussies in here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get the shit out of here, bitch. | |
| Please bring that back. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| For you, I'll do it. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| Please bring it back. | ||
| Please bring it back. | ||
| Are you working this weekend? | ||
| I'm done out here. | ||
| You're not working at all? | ||
| What are you doing Saturday night? | ||
| I got WTF. I got WTF tonight and after that I'm... | ||
| What is WTF? It's this little bar called Whiskey Tangle, Fox Terrier or some shit like that. | ||
| But I fly back on the 30th. | ||
| What's popping on the 30th? | ||
| Tomorrow night is Tony's show. | ||
| Tony's got a show at Vulcan, and I'm there. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Friends of Tony. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing then? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Am I going to have to extend my stay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I mean, I would... | ||
| Damn, I feel like I want to fuck with that. | ||
| Come on down, Jamar. | ||
| Alright, I'll stretch it out one day. | ||
| Stretch it out a day. | ||
| Come on, fellas. | ||
| Peer pressure, peer pressure. | ||
| Come have some fun. | ||
| It'll be great to hang and see you. | ||
| Fucking waiting on auditions and shit. | ||
| Hearing sirens and helicopters. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| We went down to the comedy store to film that... | ||
| There was one last night where they filmed that... | ||
| The Comedy Store documentary, and it was Whitney Cummings, and me, and Andy Letterman, and Bill Burr, and Paul Rodriguez, and Jay Leno, and we were all up on the roof, and man, it was sad as fuck. | ||
| The Comedy Store was abandoned, and dudes were racing down Sunset, because there was no one there. | ||
| So there was like, you know how they have a lot of those dudes with real money, like live in Beverly Hills, and they have Lamborghinis, and we'd always see them on Sunset. | ||
| Well, they were racing. | ||
| I mean, racing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you would hear that. | ||
| Like, guys flying down Sunset. | ||
| Because no cops were stopping anybody for anything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This was just a few months after George Floyd. | ||
| It was all this defund the police talk in the air. | ||
| It was past looting and rioting, and everybody was scared. | ||
| And the cops didn't do a goddamn thing about it. | ||
| And you would really... | ||
| You felt, like, the deterioration of the fabric of the city. | ||
| You felt it in the air. | ||
| It was really disturbing. | ||
| It made me sad. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen to the store? | ||
| Mad Max. | ||
| Mad Max? | ||
| Yeah, I think LA is going Mad Max. | ||
| I think LA, it's going to be five years before LA comes back. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think they lost 75% of their restaurants. | ||
| Who knows what percentage of bars and small businesses, but John Terzarian and Craig from Craig's, the restaurant in LA, they were on the podcast, they were telling me the actual numbers. | ||
| Did I say his name wrong again? | ||
| Terzian. | ||
| I said Terzarian. | ||
| Why do I have to say that? | ||
| You know, listen, I just suck at fucking last names. | ||
| Armenians have great last names, though. | ||
| It's always an E. Terzarian, Terzian, Parisian, Kardashian. | ||
| It's always an E. Really interesting. | ||
| Man, that makes me sad, man. | ||
| That means I'm going to have to move out here. | ||
| Well, you're going to have to move out here, Jamar, anyway. | ||
| This is going to be the spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fine, fine. | |
| We're going to put this together. | ||
| What I want to do is I want to have a spot run by a comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which we've never had before. | ||
| Everyone's run by business people. | ||
| The comedy store's been the closest place to that. | ||
| It was run by a crazy lady. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then when the crazy lady died, the comedians had already made it so profitable. | ||
| And it was a real fortunate turn of events that, like, I came back in 2014 and Mitzi died shortly thereafter. | ||
| And it was like, the way everything rolled out, it was the show, the place had become so profitable they didn't want to fuck anything up. | ||
| So it's not like they could have brought a business person in there and started doing it in a way that they would do like a road club where you had a headliner and a middle and an opening act and... | ||
| They could have done it that way. | ||
| If they needed a way to make a lot of money, that would have been the way to do it. | ||
| But we made them a lot of money at the store, and they made all the money. | ||
| It was an interesting situation. | ||
| They realized, well, we've got a real good spot here because... | ||
| Any other club where you would have sold out shows Monday through Sunday, the comics would be making most of the money. | ||
| That's how it is if you go to Nashville. | ||
| That's how it is if you go to Dallas. | ||
| If you're a murderer, you're coming into town and you're going to sell out every show in advance and everybody knows, you make the lion's share of the money and they make the bar. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| But at the Comedy Store, that wasn't the case. | ||
| The Comedy Store is a great financial situation for them. | ||
| They made a lot of money. | ||
| And we were happy that they made a lot of money because it kept the place open. | ||
| It kept this community going. | ||
| And it had gotten so profitable that even though Mitzi had left... | ||
| Left this earth, she left behind this system that had encouraged wild comedy. | ||
| But most places don't do that. | ||
| Most places, they want an opening act, a middle, and a headliner. | ||
| They want the person to have TV credits so the people come see them. | ||
| And they want to sell a lot of tickets. | ||
| And they want to make a lot of money. | ||
| And that's how most comedy clubs work. | ||
| I don't want to work that way. | ||
| I want a comedy club that's run by the comics. | ||
| Keep the freedom. | ||
| Keep the freedom. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You gotta have... | ||
| To create? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need freedom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You need to be able to talk about your grandmother's stinky pussy. | ||
| Goddamn right. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You need that. | ||
| If someone comes along and says you can't do that, well, look, maybe you can't do that. | ||
| But the only way to find out if you can't do that is to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| There's a lot of shit. | ||
| They think about some of the things that Diaz has done on stage or Theo's done on stage or you have done on stage or all the wild people at the store have done on stage. | ||
| The only way to find out if that's gonna work is let them try it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's a great place to live. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I mean, I'm still feeling it. | ||
| I don't care who got shot outside of my Airbnb today. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Are you sure they got shot? | ||
| Maybe someone shot at them. | ||
| No, bro. | ||
| No, bro. | ||
| So I was catching an Uber to go to the motherfucking gym, and the Uber guy called me and said, hey, man, did something just happen to you? | ||
| And I was like, nah, man, I'm in my Airbnb. | ||
| He was like, oh, well... | ||
| I just saw somebody get shot outside of your Airbnb. | ||
| And I was like, nah, that wasn't me. | ||
| And then he was like, well, if you still want to catch this Uber, I'll be up the street at the Jack in the Box. | ||
| And I said, nigga, I'm not about to walk down the street. | ||
| Nigga, leave. | ||
| Leave. | ||
| And he was like, alright. | ||
| And I was like, fuck, and I just stayed in the house. | ||
| The Uber situation is so interesting. | ||
| Because no one ever saw that coming. | ||
| Here's the thing, like, cabs have been around since the beginning of time. | ||
| Just to come up with an Uber? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cabs have been around for the... | ||
| From forever. | ||
| From the beginning of time. | ||
| There's been cabs. | ||
| You know, you call a cab. | ||
| You hail a cab in New York City. | ||
| Somebody figured out, like, wouldn't it be cool if you could just use your car and make money? | ||
| Just driving people around? | ||
| And it seemed so simple. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So simple. | |
| That you're like, how come I didn't think? | ||
| Because we get people rise anyway everywhere. | ||
| But California had to step in and fuck it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, these people need health insurance and they need dental. | |
| They just did that. | ||
| No, it's a gig. | ||
| It's an easy way to make money on the side. | ||
| And you can do it as long as you want and make as much money as you want. | ||
| Stop fucking it up with insurance. | ||
| Stop fucking it up. | ||
| This is not a career. | ||
| You're not talking about a dental surgeon. | ||
| You're talking about a guy who drives you places. | ||
| Just don't be a criminal. | ||
| Because a lot of the times, those Uber drivers do other shit. | ||
| Yes, most of the time. | ||
| Most of the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, you know, I really work at Walmart. | |
| I mean, maybe they should be making more money. | ||
| Maybe there's an argument there. | ||
| Maybe they should be making more of a percentage. | ||
| You don't think it should be commissioned? | ||
| I mean, like, you don't think it should be commissioned? | ||
| Like, where are you driving to? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I think it should just be like that. | ||
| You think they should get, like, something on top of that? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I'm saying, like, I don't know what percentage they make. | ||
| Like, if it costs $20 to go somewhere, how much does the driver make? | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| I don't know how much the driver makes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Let's find this out. | ||
| What does an Uber driver average per hour? | ||
| Let's find that out. | ||
| What's an average if you totaled up all the Uber drivers in the country, all the different places they go? | ||
| What's the average that they make per hour? | ||
| Depends where you are. | ||
| I'm going to say $25. | ||
| Depends where you are and depends when they drive. | ||
| According to this, I'm looking at now, it's the cities, so under $20 an hour, average of $15 to $17 it looks like. | ||
| Oh, under $20 an hour? | ||
| I would have thought it would have been more. | ||
| It says average of $8 to, I don't know, it's a wild change here. | ||
| Ew! | ||
| For Uber, I'm surprised. | ||
| I don't want to get anybody any ideas, but I'm like, has there ever been a thing where something bad happened in Uber? | ||
| You get in there with a crazy motherfucker. | ||
| Girls. | ||
| If I was a girl, I would be very scared to be in an Uber. | ||
| That's the trick part about Uber. | ||
| You, I wouldn't be scared to be in an Uber. | ||
| If I was a girl, I'd be scared to be in an Uber. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, does shit like that happen? | ||
| Like, is the Uber driver ever crazy? | ||
| Fuck yes. | ||
| Girls have been raped in Ubers? | ||
| 100%, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Let's find that out. | ||
| How many times have, let's just not say Uber, just say rideshares, Lyft, Uber, how many times have women been sexually assaulted by their rideshare drivers? | ||
| Or even the guy who's in the Uber pool next to you, like, damn. | ||
| I remember I read a story about this woman. | ||
| She got an Uber and the Uber driver was taking her in a weird path and then parked under a bridge. | ||
| And she was like, what in the fuck is happening? | ||
| She called 911, jumped out of the car, but the dude took off. | ||
| But he parked under a fucking bridge. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| You don't know who they are. | ||
| You don't know anything about them. | ||
| You're just hopping in the car. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And that's the thing about Uber. | ||
| Because did that ever happen with taxi drivers? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| According to this thing I'm looking at, according to Uber's data, 42% of those reporting sexual assault were the drivers. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| A lot of chicks want some dick. | ||
| Is that what's up? | ||
| Or is it girl drivers? | ||
| It could be that, too. | ||
| I've had friends who drove Uber who'd be like, yo, man, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| This chick, you know, let me come in the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was like, oh, I need to drive an Uber. | ||
| Fuck comedy. | ||
| Well, if girls are drunk and it's closing time and they're getting a ride home and they start vibing with the driver, the next thing you know... | ||
| I got friends who got stories. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| But that's okay. | ||
| That's just two people having fun. | ||
| I'm worried about what happens to the passengers. | ||
| So, what is the statistics? | ||
| The article I'm looking at came out in December of 2019, so it doesn't have the 2020 data because it's probably different. | ||
| It said over 3,000 cases were reported for Uber. | ||
| There were 19 women at the time that had sued Lyft. | ||
| 30%. | ||
| It says, but drivers especially, Ralph, are the 19% of Uber drivers and 30% of Lyft drivers who are women are often reported being groped by passengers. | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's a different animal. | ||
| That's female drivers. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| It's all dudes. | ||
| We're the problem, Jamar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all men. | ||
| Just over 3,000 reports were nine murders in 50 people killed in crashes. | ||
| That sucks, man. | ||
| Nine murders? | ||
| By Lyft drivers and Uber drivers? | ||
| During the rides. | ||
| I don't know if it says who did what. | ||
| Or passengers, I'm sure. | ||
| I don't like Lyft because the cars are shittier. | ||
| I don't like the idea of a 96 Tercel coming to pick me up. | ||
| When I lived in New York City, one of the things that was happening was people were killing gypsy cab drivers. | ||
| There was a rash of gypsy cab driver murders when I lived in New York City. | ||
| So I lived in New Rochelle. | ||
| It wasn't New York City. | ||
| It was just outside the city. | ||
| But when I was working in New York City, it was like... | ||
| I guess I lived there in... | ||
| I moved there in 91-ish... | ||
| Yeah, somewhere around there, 91, 92. And there was a rash of cab driver murders where they would, people would pick up cabs and say, hey, you know, take me to Queens and then shoot the cab driver and take all their money. | ||
| Because a lot of these, there was gypsy cab drivers. | ||
| And gypsy cab drivers are essentially like, they didn't have a license. | ||
| And so a lot of it was immigrant dudes. | ||
| Illegal, yeah. | ||
| And they'd have cash. | ||
| They'd get only cash. | ||
| They didn't have credit card machines. | ||
| So if you got a guy at 2 o'clock in the morning and that guy had been on his shift since 6 p.m., you knew that dude had a lot of money on him. | ||
| And so they were murdering gypsy cab drivers at a crazy rate. | ||
| Like, find... | ||
| Google that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sucks. | |
| You already did that? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| One of the most dangerous jobs in New York, gypsy cab driver. | ||
| What year is this from? | ||
| I couldn't find that, but it says since 1990, 180 drivers. | ||
| It's two a month. | ||
| I was trying to do the math on that. | ||
| Two a month. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I remember one year. | ||
| I want to say one year. | ||
| It was a high year. | ||
| It was like 48 dudes had been killed. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, it's horrible, man. | ||
| But I remember cabs were really scared to pick people up. | ||
| They'd look at you, look at you up and down. | ||
| Is that why... | ||
| When was this? | ||
| Like in the 90s? | ||
| This must have been in the 90s, yeah. | ||
| Two a month, that's 90 months. | ||
| Yeah, well, when I was living there, it was the 90s, so that's when I remember. | ||
| Is that why they really don't pick up certain people, like, you know, like, black man can't get your cap, like, type... | ||
| I think it's probably more racism than that. | ||
| But it's also like if you are around friends that have been robbed and you're scared and you hear about these people being murdered. | ||
| When you think about a cab driver, you never know. | ||
| You're opening your door and they're behind you. | ||
| You have no idea who they are. | ||
| There's no metal detector. | ||
| They could have a gun. | ||
| They could have a knife. | ||
| Or it could be Ben Bailey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can win a thousand dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or it could be Patrick Bateman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Someone could fucking kill you for no reason. | ||
| Just for a fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For a fun time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It's a hard job, man. | ||
| Because you're just taking a chance. | ||
| I used to drive limos. | ||
| And when I drove limos, it was like sometimes you would drive people and they'd be really cool. | ||
| And sometimes you drive people and you get really creeped out, man. | ||
| I just really creeped out. | ||
| Some creepy shit happened to you? | ||
| No, nothing happened to me, but people would yell at you, and you're like, Jesus, man, I'm a human being. | ||
| You don't even know me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're yelling at me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember one time some old dude yelled at me, and I yelled back at him. | ||
| And there was him and some young dude in the car, and they panicked. | ||
| I'm like, listen, man, I'll quit this fucking job. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo. | |
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Don't yell at me. | ||
| Isn't there a thing where, maybe I heard it in a rap song, but people are putting drugs in the backseat of an Uber and taking it to a location, sending it to a certain location? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, for sure. | |
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah, yeah, definitely. | ||
| That's creative. | ||
| Yeah, that's definitely happened. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, especially if you tell the Uber driver, you know, hey, here's an extra whatever for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just drive this, man. | ||
| It's real easy. | ||
| You don't have to do shit. | ||
| I'm going to tip you. | ||
| I'm going to tip you. | ||
| Yeah, but especially given cash. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Uber driver doesn't have any idea what's in the bag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're like, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like they have Uber Eats. | ||
| Do you like that Uber Eats? | ||
| No, I don't fuck with that. | ||
| I don't like that shit either. | ||
| I don't trust anybody to not eat my food. | ||
| Pick at your fries and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Spit in your burger. | ||
| And the idea of this motherfucker getting out of the car in regular clothes. | ||
| Like, he's not... | ||
| But... | ||
| Listen, if it's from a reputable company and they seal the bag and everything, like Postmates and shit like that, it's a great deal. | ||
| You don't want to live, especially during the pandemic, you don't want to leave your house. | ||
| But I just know people that have gotten food that someone's eaten. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't like the idea of waiting for somebody to drop off my food. | ||
| I'm like, I gotta go get it. | ||
| I'm a hunter. | ||
| I gotta go get it. | ||
| But if you're lazy and you just want them to just door dash it over to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like, listen, if you get a restaurant to deliver your food straight from the restaurant, the benefit is the restaurant doesn't lose all that money. | ||
| And one of the things that John Terzian and Craig were saying when they were on the podcast was like, they have a margin of profit. | ||
| Their profit margin is like 18%. | ||
| So that means that they need to make more than that in order to have any profit, right? | ||
| With the amount of expenses it costs to make the food and hire the staff and pay for the space that they work in. | ||
| Well, when you do Uber Eats, you lose money. | ||
| So when these restaurants are selling food through Uber Eats and through DoorDash, they're losing money because it costs more for them to make the food and then have it delivered. | ||
| But they're just trying to keep their customer base. | ||
| They're just trying to stay afloat. | ||
| Maybe they're losing a little bit of money, but at least they're keeping everybody employed and they've got their business rolling. | ||
| You know, and their idea is that, listen, we just want everybody to be happy. | ||
| This is what we do. | ||
| We make food for people. | ||
| We want to make food for people. | ||
| But if you could have the food delivered by the restaurant itself, you can call the restaurant. | ||
| If they have delivery, it's way better for the restaurant. | ||
| It's way better for the consumer because you're building a relationship with the people that run the restaurant and a lot of times it's actually the servers. | ||
| Like at Craig's, the servers themselves have been delivering food for people because they have very valuable customers. | ||
| Maybe they've been coming to that restaurant for years and they'll deliver your, you know, you order some chicken parmesan, they'll deliver it. | ||
| You're like, Mario! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| What do you think about these bird scooters? | ||
| What do you think about the bird scooter game? | ||
| I think it's a good way to die when you're drunk. | ||
| Watch these people in Austin. | ||
| They're driving around in these rickety scooters. | ||
| There's two people on a scooter and they're hammered. | ||
| And I'm like, you guys are gonna break your fucking shins. | ||
| Jamie's nodding. | ||
| The thing I don't like about them is that people treat them so bad they leave them anywhere. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're rickety. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We have a sponsor. | ||
| What is the sponsor? | ||
| Unagi. | ||
| Unagi Scooters is one of our sponsors, and they gave me one of them. | ||
| It is the shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That thing is... | ||
| They're fun as fuck. | ||
| Bad ass. | ||
| It flies, and my daughter had one. | ||
| They sent it to me, and I let my daughter use it, and she's flying down my driveway with it. | ||
| I'm like, that thing is fucking fast. | ||
| It's like a bird scooter? | ||
| It's just a really high-end scooter. | ||
| It's like a really high-end electrical scooter. | ||
| You give it a little bit of a push, like it's just sitting there, but if you just give it a little bit of a push, it takes off, man. | ||
| You can control the speed and everything like that, and it's got brakes, but... | ||
| So my daughter used that, and then she went and rented one of the scooters that they had in downtown Austin, and this is this janky, rickety fucking thing that had been beaten up, and they had been jumping over cones with it, and it's like, oh my god, this thing is barely hanging on. | ||
| No one's running around there and torquing down all the bolts and making sure that everything's in alignment. | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| Those things that, those, I mean, yeah, and they treat those damn Lime scooters so disrespectful, dude. | ||
| Like, I've seen them in bushes and shit. | ||
| Like, who did that? | ||
| Drunks. | ||
| Like, it's a drunk way of, too lazy to walk. | ||
| Like, I want to get there quicker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you just get on that scooter and... | ||
| I want one. | ||
| Well, they're trying to do that with a lot of things now, where you just use your phone, and then you can pick up a car. | ||
| They're doing that with cars, where they have cars laying around. | ||
| You also... | ||
| Cars? | ||
| Yeah, cars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what the company's doing it, but there's apps where they leave cars laying around for you, and you could use your app, and your app will unlock the car, and you could just drive the car. | ||
| That sounds too much like bait car. | ||
| I'm like, nah, I take this shit. | ||
| Somebody go, pfft. | ||
| Well, not only that, like, who's doing that? | ||
| And are you testing them? | ||
| Like, maybe they should have, like, one of them. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine who got arrested for DUI, and he had, like, a little tube that he had to blow into before he could start his car. | ||
| So it took, like, he couldn't ever run away from you. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because it would take, like, five minutes for him to start his car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he would get in his car, he'd have to blow on the tube, it would register, it would take a little bit of time, and then it would give him a green light, and then he could drive off. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's what you need if you're going to have an app where people can just pick up a car. | ||
| What I don't like about them scooters either is that you actually need a driver's... | ||
| They make you have a valid driver's license to work those motherfuckers. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Or at least I tried to start one up in L.A. and my driver's license was suspended at the time. | ||
| And then so I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| I was like, I don't know. | ||
| That might be a California thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The regulations here are very different. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Like, for instance, if you moved here, I could just give you a gun. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I'd go to Austin. | ||
| Jamar, have a gun. | ||
| And you'd have a fresh, brand new gun. | ||
| You wouldn't have to do any paperwork. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You could just give me a Glock? | ||
| Dude, I've been here. | ||
| Eight people are giving me guns. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eight. | |
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, eight guns. | ||
| I don't know if I can handle a gun. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| No, I mean, like... | ||
| Have you shot a gun before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Nah, but when I was seven, this nigga named Peanut let me hold his gun in the hood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
*laughter* And I was like, it was a seven. | |
| I was like, this is so heavy. | ||
| Heavy, right? | ||
| Thank you, Peanut. | ||
| Well, we're out here. | ||
| I'll take you to the range. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| There's a place called the range. | ||
| Indoor gun range. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| All right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How am I going to feel after I shoot this gun, Joe? | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| All right. | ||
| You wear headphones, so you block out the sound. | ||
| You wear glasses. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| You just need to learn how to do it correctly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bang, bang. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to hold it like this. | |
| It's very bad for your accuracy. | ||
| It's the Compton Wave. | ||
| You don't really want to hold it one hand either. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's hard to control it. | ||
| Why do people hold the gun this way? | ||
| It looks cool. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It looks cool to go sideways like that. | ||
| It's like a minister society shit. | ||
| Yeah, like you don't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm so crazy. | ||
| How am I... How come no one's doing it upside down? | ||
| Oh, right, right, right, right. | ||
| Anybody doing next level shit? | ||
| Or anybody doing it that way? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's why you really don't give a fuck about a bunny. | ||
| You don't care about somebody? | ||
| You're going to handle up. | ||
| Isn't there a thing about somebody shooting a gun like this? | ||
| Kind of like trying to curve the bullet or some shit like that? | ||
| Oh, well, that doesn't work. | ||
| Like a tennis ball? | ||
| Angelina Jolie movie. | ||
| Oh, that's what I saw it in Wanted. | ||
| I saw it in Wanted. | ||
| I was like, does that really work? | ||
| Is that her and Brad Pitt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that when they met? | ||
| It's just him. | ||
| It's just her. | ||
| Just her? | ||
| What was the movie Mr. and Mrs. Jones or something like that? | ||
| Mrs. Smith. | ||
| Mrs. Smith. | ||
| Yeah, that's sad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes me sad. | ||
| Are they still together? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, that led to the adoption of a lot of children. | ||
| Bro, she took in so many kids. | ||
| Well, you know, listen. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| It's great that she does that. | ||
| Yeah, I respect that. | ||
| That's not what's sad. | ||
| What's sad is that her and Brad didn't make it. | ||
| How long was they together? | ||
| A long time, like 10 years. | ||
| Can I ask you this? | ||
| Like, do they... | ||
| Okay, since those kids are adopted, does she keep them kids? | ||
| Does he still go see them kids? | ||
| Bitch, you brought them kids over here. | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| I don't know the specifics. | ||
| But I do know there's... | ||
| There's a rule. | ||
| You know, there's like rules of like physics. | ||
| There's rules of science. | ||
| There's a rule. | ||
| Crazy Pussy is the best pussy. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's the best pussy. | ||
| It is. | ||
| She's clearly crazy. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's gotta be off the charts. | ||
| She's so pretty. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, she's so talented. | ||
| She got fat lips. | ||
| She's like, spit on me cute. | ||
| They're ridiculous lips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, all those crazy girls that stuff shit into their lips, they could only wish they had lips like her. | ||
| Let me see those lips, Jamie. | ||
| Pull up them lips. | ||
| Angelina, pull up them lips. | ||
| Pull up them Angelina Jolie lips. | ||
| They're outrageous. | ||
| I was talking about this shit. | ||
| They were so pretty. | ||
| Yeah, I was talking about this shit to the homie the other day. | ||
| I was like, damn, boy. | ||
| Let me get a younger Angelina Jolie. | ||
| Is that a real one? | ||
| Bell's palsy. | ||
| She's got Bell's palsy? | ||
| That's the problem with crazy, too. | ||
| That's the problem with crazy. | ||
| Crazy comes with all sorts of neurotic shit. | ||
| She bad, though. | ||
| Oh, she's so pretty. | ||
| And her dad, rather, her dad is one of the greatest actors ever. | ||
| Jon Voight? | ||
| Jon Voight's out of his fucking mind. | ||
| Oh, that's her dad? | ||
| Yeah, that's her dad. | ||
| Yeah, they would talk on the phone. | ||
| This is allegedly, I read this in a story. | ||
| They would talk on the phone in character. | ||
| Like, say, if she was playing a British soldier and he was playing a guy from Ireland, they would talk on the phone in character. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They'd pretend they were these people. | ||
| That's dope, so that means he was kind of like conditioning or molding her. | ||
| Well, I think they were both adults at the time. | ||
| Both playing make-believe over the phone. | ||
| Yo! | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Did she used to make out with her brother and shit on the red carpet or some shit like that? | ||
| She kissed her brother on the lips on the red carpet. | ||
| Damn, she nasty. | ||
| I mean, if it's like a little peck that you give your mom, I kiss my mom on the lips. | ||
| I never kiss my sister on the lips. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| And I love my sister. | ||
| I love my sister too. | ||
| I don't believe I kiss her on the lips either. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I mean, I have for sure. | ||
| You know, tell her I love her. | ||
| But I think that was a little different. | ||
| I think the Angelina Jolie one, they held it a little long. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was just long enough to be sexy. | ||
| It was long enough where everybody got super uncomfortable. | ||
| Like, hey! | ||
| But her dad, Jon Voight, is like a full-on Trump supporter. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's one of the weirdest Republican Hollywood types. | ||
| When you hear him talk about conservative values, you're like, this is something else going on here. | ||
| This is not as simple as this guy is a conservative. | ||
| There's some crazy that's coming out through this ideology that he's got. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever heard him talk? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever seen Midnight Cowboy? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Let me hear some of this. | ||
| This is her dad. | ||
| Let me hear some of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We all sit with hope. | |
| We sit with a prayer. | ||
| My fellow patriots of the USA, how can I begin? | ||
| We've spoken about, many times, deceit, lies, corruption, and karmic law. | ||
| You all may well ask, why hasn't God done what was asked of him? | ||
| And I'll tell you why. | ||
| He has a plan greater than anyone who asks. | ||
| My fellow Americans, this is the beginning of many disappointments that this administration will bring to this nation. | ||
| Yes, we all know. | ||
| But now what? | ||
| That's what we all ask. | ||
| Now what? | ||
| We see the lie already, our soldiers being mistreated, these men sacrificing with blood, sweat and tears to protect, and what do they get? | ||
| No need to say. | ||
| We all know. | ||
| We know. | ||
| I will not sit here and talk about the left because I have. | ||
| And we know very well that the left are against the greatness that was and that has left. | ||
| We all know Trump's love for our country and its people. | ||
| He wanted greatness. | ||
| And now we are losing a great accomplishment. | ||
| We all want to know now. | ||
| What now? | ||
| What? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| He's gone, right? | ||
| There's something going on there. | ||
| Even the way he's talking. | ||
| I gotta pee. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I was like, I gotta pee. | ||
| Perfect timing. | ||
| See you in a minute. | ||
| I mean, you watch that video. | ||
| Like, what does that even mean? | ||
| That the soldiers being mistreated, like, instantaneously? | ||
| Like, Joe Biden takes office. | ||
| Kamala Harris is vice president. | ||
| And immediately, what are they doing? | ||
| They're peeing on soldiers? | ||
| Like, what is happening? | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| Like, we all know. | ||
| Like, it's just... | ||
| I wonder what happens when you get that old. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Because I know I'm definitely dumber than I was like 20 years ago. | ||
| I think. | ||
| Sometimes I'm not. | ||
| Like I have two alpha brains in a bottle of water and I feel like I got it back again. | ||
| But for sure, my memory is like at least a small percentage has deteriorated. | ||
| And I wonder... | ||
| How much of that memory deteriorating is because of just the sheer amount of information that I have in my head? | ||
| I don't think people are supposed to be talking to people four or five days a week, three hours at a time, about science and psychology and history and all the different things that I'm doing. | ||
| I feel like my brain is overwhelmed. | ||
| I don't know if my brain is capable of all that. | ||
| So I wonder. | ||
| I was just talking about what happens. | ||
| Jamar's back. | ||
| Pee quick. | ||
| You pee quick, bro. | ||
| Had to. | ||
| Force it out. | ||
| I was saying, I wonder what happens to old dudes that they get that old. | ||
| My memory is definitely slightly less good than it was, unless I take a couple of alpha brains. | ||
| That shit really worked? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, I keep them right here, man. | ||
| Oh, this is empty. | ||
| I take two of them in a bottle of water. | ||
| Anytime I talk to a scientist or any kind of intellectual, I'll take two of those. | ||
| These are the alpha brain instants. | ||
| What is it doing exactly? | ||
| Well, what it does, what it's been clinically shown, this is Blackberry Lemonade. | ||
| What it's been shown to do, they had two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies from the Boston Center for Memory, and it showed that it increased your verbal memory, meaning your ability to pull up words, your ability to form sentences, it increased your I think it was your reaction time, and then the other one was alpha flow state. | ||
| If you go to Onnit.com, you can read all that shit. | ||
| But what it does for me is, for sure, it feels like it makes my brain fire smoother. | ||
| And I don't struggle as much to form sentences. | ||
| I don't struggle as much to pull up words. | ||
| How long does it last? | ||
| A few hours. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going to leave with some of that. | ||
| I got something. | ||
| The vending machine, it's all free. | ||
| Just press buttons. | ||
| You can get whatever you want. | ||
| Get your alpha brain. | ||
| There's those warrior bars. | ||
| I saw you posted about the lion's mane. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I saw you post about that, and I was like, let me go get that shit. | ||
| And then I got it. | ||
| And I was like, all right, Joe. | ||
| I even tagged you. | ||
| I was like, all right, Joe. | ||
| I said, we're going to see what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| And I've taken it. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if it works, but I'm like, if y'all say it's healthy, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I take pills and shit like that, like, do my vitamins. | ||
| So if y'all say it's healthy, I'm out here. | ||
| It's one of those things where some people say, like, oh, vitamins don't do anything for you. | ||
| But those people are never athletes. | ||
| The people that are athletes, they all take vitamins. | ||
| Because you really do feel it over a long period of time. | ||
| You need something, and I take something called Athletic Greens, which is a simple powder, a super greens powder that I mix in a bottle of water, and it's filled with vitamins and nutrients. | ||
| And I also take quercetin and vitamin C and vitamin D. What is that? | ||
| What is Shilajit? | ||
| I read about it online. | ||
| I think Bruce Lee used to take it or something like that. | ||
| I don't know, but I read that Bruce Lee used to take it, and it basically does this stuff. | ||
| How do you spell it? | ||
| Oh, it's Sheila G. S-H-I... L-I-G-J-I-T or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Sheila G. Sheila G. That shit is great. | ||
| I never ever know what these pills are doing, but I do feel sharper when I take them. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'd rather take pills. | ||
| I'd rather take healthy pills and shit like that and not know the effects, but just know that it's... | ||
| You get what I'm trying to say? | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's not instantaneous results with vitamins, but if you are consistent and you take them over long periods of time, you will have better health. | ||
| It's just how it is. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's why I take them. | ||
| It's not drugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, listen, vitamins are, your body has a whole system, right? | ||
| Your biological system requires a bunch of different nutrients for it to function at its optimal level. | ||
| And most people are not getting all of those nutrients from food. | ||
| It'd be so hard to get it from food. | ||
| You should eat healthy. | ||
| You should get most of it from food, but you should also get as much as you can from supplements to optimize all your levels. | ||
| So fish oil is a must for me. | ||
| Vitamin D, D3 is a must for me. | ||
| Zinc, magnesium, all these different minerals and nutrients. | ||
| Here's what I'm still trying to figure out about vitamins. | ||
| I got a medicine cabinet full of good shit or whatever, but do I take two at a time or do I take them all together? | ||
| We definitely have to take them with food. | ||
| Almost everything, vitamin-wise, needs to be absorbed with fat. | ||
| Most vitamins. | ||
| Most of them. | ||
| Do you take all your vitamins together or do you do them like two at a time? | ||
| I take vitamins twice a day and I take them with my meals. | ||
| I usually only eat twice a day. | ||
| I usually have a morning workout and then I eat around 11 o'clock and then around then is when I have my vitamins with my food and then I have it at night again. | ||
| I have a different pack of vitamins that I take at night. | ||
| How long do you work out? | ||
| How long are your sessions? | ||
| Depends on what I'm doing. | ||
| If I'm doing hard cardio, it's never more than an hour. | ||
| But if I'm doing weightlifting, I like to do it long and I like to give myself a lot of time in between sets. | ||
| Do you know who Pavel Tatsulin is? | ||
| He's a Russian kettlebell instructor. | ||
| He brought kettlebells over here to America. | ||
| They call him the godfather of Russian kettlebells. | ||
| But he has this principle that They call it greasing the groove. | ||
| And the idea behind it is one of the best ways to develop strength is not to work to failure with each set. | ||
| Let's look at it this way. | ||
| Say if you want to do a clean and a press, right? | ||
| And if you do this with, say, 70 pounds. | ||
| And if you do it with 70 pounds, and you can do 15. Instead of doing 15 presses, that's like your max when you get to 15. Instead of doing that... | ||
| Do it with eight. | ||
| Just do it like half. | ||
| Somewhere around half. | ||
| And that way you do it easy. | ||
| So it's easy to do. | ||
| And then let it sit and then take a long time in between sets. | ||
| And then do another one. | ||
| And do another one. | ||
| Do another one. | ||
| Do another one. | ||
| But give yourself like ten minutes in between sets. | ||
| And the idea is that you let your muscles fully recover and then you do more work that way. | ||
| So because your muscles fully recover If you just did Say if you only gave yourself Like a lot of people They want to go real hard Like you want to work hard Like a lot of people I want to push myself Which is great If you want to do endurance But even then You got to do it intelligently But when you're lifting weights You will do less work If you push too hard Now granted Some people don't have the time To work out this way Like you need a good Solid block of time If you want to do it this way But what his proposal is | ||
| The most important thing is the amount of repetitions that you do with the weight. | ||
| It's not how many do in a row. | ||
| So if you can only do, say, ten repetitions, don't do ten. | ||
| Do five. | ||
| And then back off when you're fine. | ||
| You could keep going, but you stop at 5. Let it sit a long time for 10 minutes, whatever, and then do another 5. Let it sit, do another 10 minutes, do another 5. And this way, you're going to get a lot of repetitions in. | ||
| So you might get 20, 30 reps. | ||
| Repetitions in. | ||
| Whereas if you just wanted to go straight in a row, you would do ten, and then you would do eight, and then you would do five, and then you would be burnt out. | ||
| Your arms would be killing you. | ||
| This way, you're doing it slow over a long period of time, but you're actually getting in more repetitions. | ||
| And you're not getting as sore in between sets. | ||
| You're not getting as beat up. | ||
| And then your body is able to recover from this more easily. | ||
| And by doing it that way, and he even would recommend maybe do a couple sets in the morning and then a couple sets in the evening. | ||
| The idea is that like, you know, like farmer strength. | ||
| Farmers are always like chucking hay barrels and shit. | ||
| But farmers don't work to exhaustion. | ||
| They don't ever work to failure. | ||
| They don't ever pick up so many bales of hay they can't pick up another bale of hay. | ||
| They work all throughout the day and they develop this ridiculous strength because of that. | ||
| Yeah, see, I don't, um, I don't, um, I don't, like, bench press. | ||
| Like, I don't, I don't lift, like, I do, I do, like, a lot of free weights. | ||
| Like, a lot of, like, um, like, a lot of, like, uh, dumbbells and shit like that. | ||
| But not, like, the motherfuckers be, like, five, the motherfuckers be, like, five pounds and shit. | ||
| But I'd be, like, you know, I, like, do this shit, like, uh, like, maybe for, like, three minutes or some shit like that. | ||
| And I do little shit like that. | ||
| But I don't, I don't, I don't go big. | ||
| Because I don't, I don't want to be, I don't want to be big. | ||
| I like being, like, Slim and lean, but like... | ||
| Move fast. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I do fucking weird... | ||
| I do a lot of core workout, too. | ||
| But I work with the... | ||
| It's like a bar or whatever. | ||
| You know how you hang on a bar to stretch your muscles and shit like that? | ||
| I do a lot of that, and then I turn my legs and shit like that. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Like those bar stars type shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I saw... | ||
| Those guys are the most jacked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Except their legs. | ||
| They always have these little skinny ass legs because they're not really lifting weights. | ||
| Bro, I just started working on my legs. | ||
| Did you see those bar stars guys? | ||
| They all have ridiculous shoulders and traps and arms and thighs and toothpicks and sweatpants. | ||
| Legs are like a compass and shit. | ||
| Those dudes are always wearing sweatpants. | ||
| And it makes it easier to stick your legs straight up in the air while you're doing chin-ups because your legs don't wear anything. | ||
| Yeah, see, I do the weight vest. | ||
| Oh, look at you. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| With the Tims on and the weights. | ||
| You wear Tims in the weight room. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| And those are ankle weights, too. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Oh, that's a great way to work out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's phenomenal. | ||
| So it makes your foot work like it helps with footwork and shit, too. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Do you have a trainer? | ||
| Do you work with anybody? | ||
| Nah, I go in there and just make shit up. | ||
| You should talk to somebody, or you don't even have to talk to somebody, but just do some research. | ||
| Just do some YouTube videos and shit like that. | ||
| You almost like... | ||
| You don't need a trainer, but it's a great tool. | ||
| But you can get a lot of information just for free off of YouTube. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All kinds of different workouts, but you just want to make sure you don't hurt yourself. | ||
| See this? | ||
| You just said something interesting, right? | ||
| You see this one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that, right? | ||
| Bro, I was doing that shit with a 45, and I went too hard, and I... Pulled something? | ||
| I did a thing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm 100% again, but I pulled some shit. | ||
| I was like, what is it? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Is the meat out? | ||
| I was like, is it... | ||
| Tell me something, Doc. | ||
| And they were like, oh, no, you just pulled up. | ||
| Well, if you work out hard, you can hurt yourself no matter what. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what? | ||
| I needed that because then I had to take time off the gym. | ||
| It's like, yeah, bro, get out of the gym. | ||
| Yeah, but I see what you're doing there, and that works. | ||
| That's like the same thing people do with kettlebells. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or with, not kettlebells, rather, medicine balls, where they're like slamming them against the wall and slamming them this way against the wall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or, you ever seen that one with the rope that has the ball at the end of it, and they stand by a wall and they do this, boom, boom. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, you know which one looks crazy, and I'm like, I'm still afraid of it, is the ropes like this. | ||
| Oh, yeah, those are easy. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| You can't be afraid of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck are you doing? | |
| Battle ropes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing here? | |
| Oh, hold on. | ||
| I'm working on my footwork. | ||
| I'm working on my footwork because those are ankle weights. | ||
| What are you doing, Jamar? | ||
| Hey, look. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You're going to hurt yourself with ankle weights on doing backflips? | ||
| I got to be able to do this shit on stage. | ||
| I got to be able to move on stage. | ||
| How did you learn how to do backflips like that? | ||
| I was a ghetto-ass kid from Compton. | ||
| So no one taught you how to do it? | ||
| You just figured it out yourself? | ||
| Yeah, I used to watch my big cousin Sean do them, and then I used to try to be like him, and he kind of taught me how to do it. | ||
| The thing about backflips is if you fucking miss... | ||
| No, what I'm afraid to do still is a frontflip. | ||
| I've never been... | ||
| I did crazy shit, and people... | ||
| Look at you! | ||
| And Joe, people think that I'm like, I'm just playing, but I am drop dead serious. | ||
| But it is great for your footwork, though. | ||
| If you have those ankle weights on, your body gets used to that. | ||
| And that's all I'm fucking working on, too. | ||
| Look at you! | ||
| I'm an Aquarius, so it may be a little unorthodox. | ||
| Oh, I'm an Aquarius. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But yeah, man, I'd be like, drop dead serious. | ||
| I don't fucking know, Joe. | ||
| I'm just trying to stay in shape. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Listen, you have the motivation. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'll be trying to have fun at the same time, though, too. | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| Well, if you come out here, you can just work out at the honor of the gym. | ||
| It's right down the street. | ||
| Damn it, Joe. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| You know I'm coming. | ||
| I know you're coming. | ||
| We gotta get everybody out here. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| One of the things that I thought of when I moved here, I was like, I need to make a place where everybody's gonna want to come out here, because I don't think we need to be in L.A. We're in L.A. because we all thought we had to be in L.A. Well, I'm from LA, born and raised, and my family and shit's out there, so I'm like, I've never had to leave my family. | ||
| Oh, that's different. | ||
| There's a crazy-ass thing there, but I can leave. | ||
| My folks just moved here. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they just moved here. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Did they move here because of you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they didn't move here by accident. | ||
| I'm trying to make everybody move here, man. | ||
| All my friends. | ||
| No, I ain't mad at it. | ||
| I'm here for a reason. | ||
| And one of my big missions here is stand-up. | ||
| I want to make sure that stand-up has a real... | ||
| Gets real again? | ||
| Well, it just has a real place where it's safe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, stand-up is protected. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| We need to be protected. | ||
| Like, one of the things you realize with COVID, when all these comedy clubs started going under, and all this shit started happening, no one could perform anywhere, like... | ||
| A lot of comics that have potential, especially young people that are just starting out, they're going to drop off the map and they might not ever do it. | ||
| I mean, I think about what would happen to me if I was like six months into comedy and then COVID hit and then there was a whole year where I couldn't do stand-up. | ||
| I might have fallen off. | ||
| I might have gotten a job. | ||
| I might have gotten a girl pregnant. | ||
| Had a baby and then couldn't do the road. | ||
| I was 21, stupid. | ||
| Who knows what I would have done? | ||
| But join the fucking Marines. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Those fucking thoughts ran through my head when COVID hit, too. | ||
| And I'm like, in this bitch. | ||
| Well, in the beginning days, right? | ||
| I think we can all agree to this. | ||
| You don't know if you're ever going to make it. | ||
| And in the beginning days, it's very volatile. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
| It could all fall apart on you at any moment. | ||
| When did you come to L.A.? 1994. How long were you doing comedy? | ||
| Six years. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was already on a sitcom. | ||
| I got so lucky. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I'm the luckiest bitch that's ever lived. | ||
| I've always been so lucky. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but I'm so fucking lucky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| That's fucking dope, man. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like I must have done some shit in another life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I must have been a good boy. | ||
| It's so funny because it's like when people talk about like, I didn't know if I was going to make it and shit. | ||
| It's like, I forgot. | ||
| At a point in time, I forgot about making it. | ||
| I was just out there just because I had some crazy shit to say. | ||
| And next thing you know, you're doing alright. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| But I think, for me, out of sight, out of mind, I just gotta be like, If I don't think about it, like, that's when I'm, like, the best. | ||
| You know, like, I'm like... | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, like, it'll stress me the fuck out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, like, it'll stress me the fuck out if I'm over here. | ||
| Like, fuck, man, when am I gonna... | ||
| You know, like, back in the days, like, at the... | ||
| Like, then you'll get a set like me at the improv. | ||
| Like, trying to get fucking shows. | ||
| Well, that's the thing, is, like, if you think about it too much, then it gets in the way of your flow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, I... And I was a... | ||
| Yeah, and I was, like, a chronic, like, overthinker, and I think that's one of the reasons why, like, earlier in the years, like, I would, like, you know, like, kind of, like, struggle, kind of, sort of. | ||
| Not, like, comedically. | ||
| I was just, like, overthinker and shit like that, but after a while, I was like, man, fuck this shit. | ||
| I was like, I can't function like this. | ||
| Listen, I'm just gonna have to do this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Give me that mohawk. | ||
| Like, Well, that's one of the good things about things like... | ||
| Imagine if you got a clean sitcom two years into your comedy. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| What's that like? | ||
| Imagine CBS came along and said, Jamar, you are the perfect look to be the neighbor in this new sitcom with these two gals, and you're going to be their friend, but you got to be clean. | ||
| They told Tim Allen to stop doing stand-up when he was doing Home Improvement. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They told him to stop. | ||
| I need to ask him if that's true. | ||
| I'm just here spreading propaganda. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he stopped doing stand-up for a long fucking time, and I believe I read in an article that he was told to stop doing stand-up because his stand-up was too controversial, which is hilarious. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Tim Allen. | ||
| You see what Bob Saget does? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, that shit is gnarly. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Another case, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's on that show. | ||
| Stuff like that used to scare me, too, because I'm not the cleanest dude. | ||
| So I was like, damn, man. | ||
| Well, listen, that grandmother's smelly pussy joke could be cleaned up. | ||
| You can figure out a way to do that the right way. | ||
| Just say vagina. | ||
| Imagine if the CBS executive, Jamar, we need to talk to you about this grandmother smelly pussy grades bit you're doing. | ||
| Is there a way we can clean that up? | ||
| So, yeah, I used to always think about that shit. | ||
| So, like, when people would give me opportunity and stuff, I was like, you sure? | ||
| Like, have you seen this shit? | ||
| I do. | ||
| And stuff like that. | ||
| Like, That shit don't matter. | ||
| They want you. | ||
| They just want you or whatever. | ||
| But they don't want you to do that joke. | ||
| So I had to get past that. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| In the beginning, they can say that. | ||
| See, once you get to a point where... | ||
| If you're Dave Chappelle or something like that, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
| But if he wasn't Dave Chappelle... | ||
| If Dave Chappelle wasn't famous and he tried to do most of the jokes that he's doing right now... | ||
| There would be some people that would tell him, hey, that joke, you've got to get rid of that joke. | ||
| Or that joke, you've got to stop saying. | ||
| But once you become established, you can kind of do whatever you want as long as it's good. | ||
| But it's like the grandma's stinky pussy joke. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| When you're a year in or two years into comedy, yeah, it's a tough joke to pull off. | ||
| But when you're 15 years in, everybody already knows you're saying wild shit. | ||
| Jamar, I can see you saying that right now on stage and people falling out of their chairs laughing. | ||
| I can see it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think I found my closer, my new closer. | ||
| But it's one of those things, you need to leave people alone. | ||
| You could come up to a comic and say, hey man, that bit's not popping because people think it's too mean, or maybe you figure out a way to restructure it. | ||
| We all give each other advice. | ||
| Comics give each other pointers and tips, and I know that there's bits that I've done that just didn't work right. | ||
| I'm like, God, why is that bit not working right? | ||
| Because it needs to be restructured. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and sometimes... | ||
| And people act like... | ||
| And again, I'm not like all dirty and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But people act like I would do that on The Tonight Show or some shit. | ||
| I'm like, yo, if you give me free range, I'm going to say anything I want to do. | ||
| I mean, I want to say, if you tell me to, you know... | ||
| Well, if The Tonight Show was smart, they would allow that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro! | |
| And then people would start paying attention. | ||
| Thank you! | ||
| Yo, you said it. | ||
| Like, those ratings on those shows are atrocious. | ||
| It's so sad because they're so hampered by that system of, like, super clean, here comes a guest I don't give a fuck about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going to ask them questions about their new sitcom or their new movie or their new album, and I don't really care. | ||
| And then the band's going to play, and we'll be right back. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's got a trained parrot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy. | |
| That is kind of interesting. | ||
| And then they have commercials, and as long as they don't offend anybody and they keep eyeballs on them, they keep going. | ||
| But really what they're doing is they're dancing enough for you to pay attention to the commercials. | ||
| That's most of what that show is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they interrupt it all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, when you're doing a sitcom, you know, you have these breaks where you've got to prepare for commercials. | ||
| Like, they're set up for commercials. | ||
| These shows, whether it's The Tonight Show... | ||
| Or the Late Night with Colbert, they're set up for commercials. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't swear. | ||
| You can't talk crazy. | ||
| You can't do anything wild. | ||
| You got a bunch of executives or mortgages are riding on your show. | ||
| Jamar, slow down! | ||
| Hey, Jamar, I just bought a new home. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In Hancock Park. | ||
| And I can't have you on here talking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Jamar, my grandmother pussy joke cost me my home. | ||
| My home! | ||
| Where are my children gonna go to school, Jamar? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I can't pay for private school anymore because of your grandmother's pussy joke. | |
| That's really what happens. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that they hitch up their fucking caboose to your cart. | ||
| And they're like, fuck! | ||
| And I would think you would get the best... | ||
| You want the best out of the comics or the performers and stuff like that. | ||
| So you want these motherfuckers to be free enough to do their shit like that. | ||
| I'm not saying I wouldn't do those shows. | ||
| If I have to play that game, then I'm going to play it and shit like that. | ||
| But if you want the best out of me, it's like, daddy got to do what daddy got to do. | ||
| You're a nightclub comic. | ||
| I've been trying to get these niggas to let me play a dinosaur for years, Joe. | ||
| Like, for years. | ||
| In Jurassic Park? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a half-human, half-dinosaur. | ||
| His name is Dino Stampinopoulos, and I've been trying to get these niggas to let me play them for years. | ||
| You got a character that you got? | ||
| Who are you trying to get you to play this? | ||
| I was trying to get, uh... | ||
| I was trying to get adults... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, you have a video on Instagram? | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Episode 3? | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, you're so ridiculous. | ||
| I've been trying to get these niggas to let me do this shit for years. | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| This is Dino's birthday party. | ||
| Oh my god, this is so hilarious. | ||
| It's a half-man, half-dinosaur. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How long have you been doing this? | ||
| Bro, I've been doing this character for about like six years. | ||
| And so it's his birthday. | ||
| So the homie bring him a cake. | ||
| Oh my god, this is hilarious. | ||
| That's the homie Nate. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And who are the girls? | ||
| That's not even real. | ||
| No, no, that's a Jif. | ||
| Oh, it's a Jif, so it's a green screen. | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
| Because I'm looking at these girls dancing like, this is so odd. | ||
| So he gotta blow out the candles. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| Is it dinosaurs that blow out the candles with fire? | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| What made you come up with this? | ||
| Were you high? | ||
| No, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I took... | |
| No, I took a clown class and we had to do certain characters and stuff like that. | ||
| We had to come up with characters. | ||
| When did you take your clown class? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| You gonna check your phone? | ||
| That's my Joker. | ||
| Oh, you have a Joker character? | ||
| My black Joker. | ||
| I was like, they need a black Joker. | ||
| But I took a clown class probably about maybe like three years ago. | ||
| And so we had to come up with a character and stuff like that. | ||
| So I had... | ||
| I had like I had came up with a version. | ||
| Well, I had already been doing this dinosaur character, but I started adding wings and little shit to it. | ||
| You had already been doing the dinosaur character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| They're like earlier versions of that thing where he was wearing green. | ||
| What's the birth of the dinosaur character? | ||
| So me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So me and my friend Jeffrey, we were like, we always like improv together. | ||
| And then so one day we were we were writing something and I was like, fuck Fuck this shit, man. | ||
| I said, man, let's go downstairs and just shoot some sketches. | ||
| And then he was like, alright. | ||
| And I was like, yo. | ||
| I said, I'm going to grab these green tights right here. | ||
| And I'm going to grab this tail. | ||
| Don't ask me why I had this shit already in my apartment. | ||
| And I'm going to play a dinosaur. | ||
| And then you're going to play a dude who's stopping and frisking this black-ass dinosaur. | ||
| And then so we were just like, it just came through like play. | ||
| How much of that do you do? | ||
| Like clown classes and shit like that? | ||
| Just fucking around. | ||
| Oh, that's me. | ||
| I've been doing that shit for years. | ||
| I've actually been doing improv longer than I've been doing stand-up, but only by a year. | ||
| I ain't gonna say, like, oh. | ||
| But, like, you know, that'd be my bag, you know? | ||
| Just to be creative? | ||
| Just to be silly? | ||
| Just try to come up with characters? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Just for the love of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why the wave pops up. | |
| What is this? | ||
| So he's trying to go back in time? | ||
| He's trying to go back in time to meet his biological parents. | ||
| Dino Stampinopoulos, episode one. | ||
| And it says in parentheses, there's eight of these. | ||
| In this episode, Dino's go back in time to meet his biological parents. | ||
| Thank you for making these fun. | ||
| Oh my god, you show up. | ||
| Who did all this special effects and shit? | ||
| Dave Kersh. | ||
| And then so Dino has a malfunction where he now looks like this. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| That's my friend Jeffrey Baldinger. | ||
| So anyway, I made those props. | ||
| I made that time machine. | ||
| Like out of a cardboard box. | ||
| That's his mom. | ||
| That's Dino's mom. | ||
| That's my friend Eureka. | ||
| Oh, this is so ridiculous. | ||
| Look at Dino's dad with his stupid hat on. | ||
| Oh my god, this is... | ||
| Dino's dad has a suit on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So this is just like some silly shit that you just decided to just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I've been doing shit like that for like years, bro. | ||
| Just for fun. | ||
| Yeah, and that's why I like the wave. | ||
| That's what made the wave fun. | ||
| We would do shit like that all the time. | ||
| I remember I had those green tights back when Dina was green. | ||
| And Kevin Hart, he was one of the judges. | ||
| And then I came out, like somebody hit a joke, and I came out, and I was like, And then he was like, what did y'all tell the black dude he had to do every time somebody hit a joke or whatever? | ||
| They're like, fucking ridiculous. | ||
| You don't have to tell Jamar shit? | ||
| Hell yeah, tell me shit. | ||
| I'm like, that's my Tuesday. | ||
| I'm like, that's my Tuesday and a bang energy drink and I'm on. | ||
| So tell me about clown school. | ||
| How'd this happen? | ||
| So, truth be told, like, I didn't know how to, like, if you want to know, like, origin, origin, origin, I didn't know how to start doing stand-up. | ||
| I've been wanting to do stand-up since I was a kid, but I didn't know how to... | ||
| Wait a minute, you started when you were 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I didn't know how to start, like, um... | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| It's so many, like, stories, right? | ||
| So I did it once when I was 16. I did this stand-up comedy competition for BET, like, coming to the stage. | ||
| It was just an audition because I just wanted to feel how stand-up felt or whatever. | ||
| And I was like, okay, I'll do this. | ||
| How long have you been thinking about doing it before you did it? | ||
| I was a kid. | ||
| I was young. | ||
| I remember doing stand-up when I was 10 in my classroom. | ||
| Yeah, because I didn't have a toy to share. | ||
| It was for share day. | ||
| And I didn't have a toy to share for share day. | ||
| And you got two minutes. | ||
| So I was like, I'm just going to do some stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| And I've been watching Comic View and all this stuff. | ||
| And so I get up there in front of like this glass and I was at there like, yeah, man. | ||
| My grandma's pussy is so sticky. | ||
| At this time, my grandma's pussy was so hairy. | ||
| Because she was younger, so the funk hadn't hit like that yet. | ||
| But my friend was like, yo, how you gonna start doing stand-up? | ||
| I was like, I I don't know, man. | ||
| Maybe I'll start doing like some clown stuff or something like that. | ||
| I was like, maybe like 15. I was like, maybe I'll start doing like some clown stuff or something. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And I heard about like a clown school in San Francisco. | ||
| And I was like, oh, yeah, maybe I'll do that. | ||
| And then that didn't happen. | ||
| And a friend was like, why don't you just go to like an open mic or something like that? | ||
| I was like, oh, is that how you get started? | ||
| And I was like, all right, then maybe I'll do that. | ||
| But like fast forward, I had a lot of time on my hands back in 2018. I wasn't doing shit. | ||
| And I was at the like, man, I was like, nigga, you should take a class. | ||
| I was like, you're already in the wave. | ||
| You already done. | ||
| I was like, just go take a class. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| So I took a clown class. | ||
| It's called the Clown School. | ||
| I'm like on their website and shit. | ||
| I'm like the only nigga. | ||
| I'm like the only black nigga on their website and shit. | ||
| And I just started doing it in 2018. You know what's so fun about that? | ||
| Is that if you didn't know what made you funny as a person or whatever, they help you find your inner clown. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Everybody has an inner clown and stuff like that. | ||
| What's first day of clown school like? | ||
| So, I remember this assignment. | ||
| First of all, I walked in there with some Doc Martens on, right? | ||
| They were maroon Doc Martens. | ||
| They looked like clown shoes, but they were maroon Doc Martens. | ||
| And the clown teachers, they're like, hey, take those off. | ||
| And I was like, why? | ||
| He was like, just take them off. | ||
| And then it dawned on me, I was like, oh, I was probably disrespecting clown, because he probably thought that that's what I thought a clown was, whatever, people who wear shoes like this, because Doc Martens do kind of look like, you know, clown shoes, whatever. | ||
| Did he explain? | ||
| No, but it dawned on me, I was like, hmm, that's probably why. | ||
| You really think you thought it was disrespectful? | ||
| To the whole art of clown or whatever. | ||
| He's like, oh, you think clowns just wear big shoes and get out of small cars? | ||
| That'd be a funny sketch, dude. | ||
| A guy who teaches clown classes but is really sensitive about the art of being a clown. | ||
| And he's a purist. | ||
| He's a clown purist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you got, a rubber nose on? | ||
| Get that fucking nose off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, it's so fucking funny, right? | |
| I remember the first assignment, though, was, hey, come through this door 10 funny ways. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that sounds funny. | ||
| So I mean, so that sounds fun. | ||
| So I would just come and I would do like a physical act or whatever, but I would do it 10 funny ways. | ||
| I would come in as a robot and I would come in as a... | ||
| Did you ever come through naked? | ||
| No. | ||
| You should have finished with that. | ||
| You should take that class and then you should do that. | ||
| What's up now? | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| They don't limit shit like that, though. | ||
| Like, if you wanted to do some shit like that, because they want you to be free. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| Yeah, so I remember that assignment, come through this door 10 funny ways. | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| Um, so I came in like, I came in like crawling and shit like that. | ||
| And then I came in like retarded and shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I came in, I came in spinning like this or whatever. | |
| And I remember I like hopped backward like a kangaroo and shit like that. | ||
| And it was a bunch of shit like that. | ||
| What were they like? | ||
| What were the other people in the class like? | ||
| Some motherfuckers in there were good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Because the thing about clown is that they say the wrong answers are what's funny. | ||
| So if you come in or whatever and you accidentally trip and shit like that, like it was an accident, that's what the clown is. | ||
| Clowns are the mistakes and stuff like that. | ||
| You know, the red nose is actually just puts you in the spirit of being a clown and being silly. | ||
| But the maroon Doc Martens don't? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know what that's like? | ||
| That's like a bad stand-up coach giving you advice on stand-up. | ||
| That has happened to a lot of people. | ||
| We're taking stand-up classes from people that aren't even good comics. | ||
| You've taken stand-up classes before? | ||
| No, I never have. | ||
| But I took acting classes from someone who was a terrible actor. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, man, I get more work than this dude. | ||
| Like, why? | ||
| Well, I had to take them. | ||
| It was part of my deal. | ||
| I had never taken any acting classes before, and I had a sitcom deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I had to take acting classes. | ||
| So I took acting classes, and as I was taking acting classes, I was realizing the person teaching me was terrible. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I was better at pretending to be real than this person was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What made them like... | ||
| They were so fake, Jamar. | ||
| There was nothing about them that made sense. | ||
| The way they talked just didn't seem real. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, some people... | ||
| You could take an athlete, right? | ||
| A baseball player who's never acted in their life. | ||
| And they just know how to be real. | ||
| And they'll memorize that shit, and they can pull it off as good as any fucking actor. | ||
| There's people out there with talent. | ||
| They just don't even know it. | ||
| Because acting's a weird talent. | ||
| Like, you got your Denzel Washington. | ||
| You got your Daniel Day-Lewis. | ||
| You got your... | ||
| There's levels, right? | ||
| There's Christian Bales. | ||
| There's levels to acting. | ||
| But then just regular acting that a lot of people do, there's a lot of people out there that can act. | ||
| A lot that can do that regular shit. | ||
| I had this epiphany maybe like two years ago where I was like, man, I was watching a commercial. | ||
| I was looking at commercial actors and stuff like that. | ||
| But at the end of the day, they're actors. | ||
| And I was just looking at it and I was like, damn, isn't it crazy how that guy is in the same profession as Denzel Washington? | ||
| Him and Denzel Washington do the same thing. | ||
| They have the same job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's how it is with every profession, right? | ||
| I mean, that's how it is with people who make steak. | ||
| There's chefs who make a steak and you eat it and you're like, God damn! | ||
| And then there's a dude at Denny's who cooks steak. | ||
| You get your steak and eggs at Denny's and you're like, damn. | ||
| It's food. | ||
| It's food. | ||
| I'm hungry. | ||
| You eat it. | ||
| But there's something about acting that it's so hard to get a job To be an actor that we assume that... | ||
| How many times have athletes... | ||
| There's been a bunch of times where athletes have... | ||
| What was the fucking Adam Sandler movie? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Gems? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Uncut Gems. | ||
| Uncut Gems. | ||
| Kevin Garnett's in it. | ||
| And Kevin Garnett is excellent in it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| You would think he's a fucking actor. | ||
| And he's not. | ||
| He's just a great basketball player. | ||
| I mean, there's many instances of things like that. | ||
| I mean, I can think of... | ||
| I bet if I just had time to go over and do like a Google search, actors, athletes who have acted in films. | ||
| There's a lot of them, man. | ||
| They can do it. | ||
| Who do you think is the best athletic... | ||
| I mean, athlete that's an actor... | ||
| The biggest one right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| The Rock. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But it's not... | ||
| Yeah, kinda. | ||
| Pro wrestling is so entertainment-oriented, though. | ||
| No, he didn't play pro football, but he got close. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, he was so... | ||
| Arnold Schwarzenegger? | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I mean, I guess pro sport, I guess. | ||
| What did he play? | ||
| Oh, he's a bodybuilder. | ||
| He's an athlete. | ||
| Shit like that, I don't get. | ||
| I don't count that. | ||
| Like, Terry Crews played for the Rams or some shit, right? | ||
| Terry Crews is another great example. | ||
| There's a lot of them. | ||
| People who have figured out how to act. | ||
| But have they figured out how to act like Robert De Niro? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's levels. | ||
| There's levels. | ||
| There's levels. | ||
| Like, especially Robert De Niro before he was just cash and checks. | ||
| You go back to, like, Cape Fear, Robert De Niro. | ||
| You know, like, Goodfellas, Robert De Niro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, there's levels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's levels. | ||
| I guess there's levels of clowns too. | ||
| Goddamn right. | ||
| I'm level too. | ||
| But there's levels to poetry. | ||
| I was listening to some poetry being read the other day and just cringing. | ||
| I had to shut it off. | ||
| I was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Some people, they read poetry and it's just like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just goofy. | |
| It's transparent. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| But then, occasionally, you'll stumble upon some woman who's reading poetry, and you're like, oh, shit. | ||
| Like, this resonates. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| And I don't know why. | ||
| Poetry is one of the easiest things to make cringy. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| The easiest. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I used to go to poetry lounges all the fucking time. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| It's such... | ||
| Like, in comedy, you see some bad comedy, you'd be at there like, man, it's like a trash. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, you can express that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You can't do that shit. | ||
| Like, this bitch is talking about her grandma in a very terrible fucking clunky... | ||
| A very green way. | ||
| Green. | ||
| Green's a good way to put it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like it, but you can't boo that. | ||
| I went to a poetry slam once with Brian Callan in Venice. | ||
| He's like, you gotta come see this. | ||
| I go, what is it? | ||
| He's like, there's a poetry reading near my house. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god, I'm there. | ||
| And it was so bad. | ||
| It was so bad. | ||
| And then sometimes people would snap their fingers when they liked things. | ||
| They would like it. | ||
| They would clap. | ||
| They would snap their fingers. | ||
| It was so clunky. | ||
| Joe, I remember one time I went to a poetry lounge and I was dressed as a baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What were you wearing? | |
| A diaper? | ||
| Bro, I was wearing... | ||
| It's a blue bonnet. | ||
| A bonnet? | ||
| Or like those little baby caps or whatever. | ||
| I had on a bib. | ||
| I had on a diaper. | ||
| And it was called... | ||
| The character was called Crack Baby from Compton. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| And I went up there, and I went up there, and I was like, and I had a wagon. | ||
| I had a wagon. | ||
| And the wagon had toys, and I got the picture up on my motherfucking page. | ||
| Find it. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Jamie's on it. | ||
| Jamie's on it. | ||
| How far? | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| About 2018. And it's called Crack Baby from Compton. | ||
| I'm holding it like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| And anyway, so I went up there, but they thought that I was about to go be deep and talk about my mother and how she, and I was up there, I was telling jokes as the crack baby. | ||
| That would be a great way to do it. | ||
| Like, talking about your mother. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| And when I was doing that shit, and when I was doing that shit, since I was telling jokes and stuff, instead of doing poetry, whatever, but I was at a poetry lounge, somebody heckled me. | ||
| Yeah, somebody heckled me, because I had a joke, I had a joke, I was like, knock I was like, I can't even do the voice right now, but I was like, knock, knock. | ||
| And then somebody was up there like, bye, nigga. | ||
| Instead of who's there, they was up there like, bye, nigga. | ||
| and I was at the like, ah, nigga, yo mama. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I like went back in the mind. | ||
| Like, how you gonna heckle a nigga doing a crack baby from that baby? | ||
| How rude. | ||
| Well, they're probably upset that you weren't taking it seriously. | ||
| This is poetry. | ||
| I thought it was poetic. | ||
| I mean, who else would come up here? | ||
| Actually, I felt like I was more vulnerable than them. | ||
| I was the one naked. | ||
| Isn't it funny, though, that people... | ||
| There's a thing that people do with comedy, too, where they get upset about what happens before them. | ||
| And that was one of the things you would get with prima donnas. | ||
| They would get upset if someone was dirty before them. | ||
| You know, like, I don't want that guy going on before me. | ||
| He's too dirty. | ||
| He talks about this. | ||
| There's you! | ||
| That was basically the character, but... | ||
| Is there other pictures? | ||
| 2018 is probably in... | ||
| Jamie's furiously scrolling. | ||
| He's got a final on Twitter, but his Twitter account got suspended. | ||
| You got suspended on Twitter? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| Ah! | ||
| This is so... | ||
| This is so... | ||
| First of all, fuck Twitter. | ||
| Like, I love Twitter, but fuck them. | ||
| Because, alright bro, I had like, I had just got like a gang of fucking followers, okay? | ||
| This is what the fuck I did, and this is why they cancelled me. | ||
| I was verified on my original one. | ||
| And so I was doing the profile switch. | ||
| So I would change my profile to Donald Trump's profile picture. | ||
| And I would change all of that. | ||
| And so when I tweeted, it looked like Donald Trump was tweeting. | ||
| And so I was tweeting shit like, I'm in the mood for a mozzarella hot dog with bacon on it. | ||
| And then all these people were like, this is your fucking president? | ||
| Because people thought that it was really him. | ||
| I would tweet shit. | ||
| I would tweet shit like, and so this is, so I tweeted this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it? | |
| No, I tweeted this during the election. | ||
| It was during the election when, like, I could probably sway votes and shit. | ||
| Like, you know, like, with this verified account. | ||
| And I tweeted, if I lose this election, I'm gonna go live in a train car in London, you know? | ||
| And then... | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And then the next time I tried to tweet, my shit was suspended. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah, and they show porn on Twitter. | ||
| They show anal porn. | ||
| They show girls taking it right in the ass. | ||
| They show ass to mouth. | ||
| They show everything. | ||
| But you can't act like the president. | ||
| But that's ridiculous. | ||
| If you look at the actual account, how stupid are people? | ||
| It's like my name was right next to me. | ||
| It says Jamar neighbors. | ||
| Why do you think that's really the president? | ||
| And they canceled the shit out of my shit. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense at all. | ||
| They said I violated the rules. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| You're a comedian. | ||
| That's parody. | ||
| That's fun. | ||
| Dude, we live in a weird time, man. | ||
| Are you paying attention to all this stock market shit with GameStop? | ||
| So, I heard a little bit about it. | ||
| We covered it a little bit yesterday. | ||
| My friend Sagar and Jetty from Rising, The Hill, he covered it and we played some of his shit. | ||
| What basically is going on is... | ||
| These people who are speculators on Wall Street, they short stocks, meaning they are gambling that a stock is going to lose value. | ||
| And so then these Redditors, these smart dudes on Reddit are like, you know what? | ||
| Fuck these people. | ||
| Let's just buy a bunch of this stock and jack that price up. | ||
| And so they all got together, thousands of them, and they bought a shitload of that stock and the price went fucking flying. | ||
| Like, went way up! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And so then all the hedge fund people that were gambling on it, losing money, they lost billions of dollars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, instantly. | ||
| And Wall Street started panicking. | ||
| And so then they realized, these Redditors realized they can do this, so they started dealing with other stocks, like movie theater stocks. | ||
| And so then this app called Robinhood, which is an app, which is, Robinhood is supposed to be, steal from the rich, give to the poor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's the story of Robinhood. | ||
| Instead, they are protecting all these hedge fund people by stopping people from doing this. | ||
| So they're stopping all the sale of these stocks that these Redditors all get excited about. | ||
| So these people, even if they buy the stock, now they can't sell it. | ||
| Or now they... | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Or they can't buy it? | ||
| They can't buy it. | ||
| They can't buy it anymore. | ||
| They can sell, but they can't buy it. | ||
| So they've essentially tried to do what they can to stop this scam. | ||
| And everyone is furious at them. | ||
| So much so that I sent you an article that Google removed over 100,000 one-star reviews from their app store because they... | ||
| They were saving this application from having one star in the Google app because everyone was so mad at them. | ||
| But meanwhile, that's a legit criticism. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Google salvaged Robinhood's one star rating by deleting nearly 100,000 negative reviews. | ||
| Unhappy users have been review bombing the app. | ||
| So that's what's going on. | ||
| What basically is happening, Jamar, is that all these people forever have been manipulating the stock market and making a shitload of money doing it. | ||
| Hedge funds. | ||
| All these billionaire Wall Street people. | ||
| Now, regular folks on Reddit are starting to do the exact same thing, and they're making millions of dollars! | ||
| Millions of dollars in the apps with stocks, and they're trying to figure out a way to stop these people from doing this. | ||
| Because they don't want them to be able to do it. | ||
| They want Wall Street to be able to do it. | ||
| Normal people are... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Normal people are being penalized for figuring out a new way to hack the system that Wall Street has been manipulating forever. | ||
| I need to tell my... | ||
| Is that accurate? | ||
| What I said, that's an accurate way of describing it? | ||
| Basically. | ||
| That's a very good, simple way to describe it, yeah. | ||
| There's more levels to it. | ||
| Sagar did a much better job of it. | ||
| You can go to their YouTube page, Crystal Ball and Sagar and Jetty. | ||
| It's called Rising the Hill. | ||
| It's my favorite political talk show because there's a person, Sagar's on the right and Crystal's on the left, but they're both honest and objective and they discuss how fucked up this is and how crazy it is. | ||
| It's It's gone on. | ||
| It's still going on today? | ||
| Yeah, so after yesterday, it went on through the stock market. | ||
| Because the shutdown happened, I think people's attention was like, well, if they're going to do that to us, let's take it over the crypto market. | ||
| And so now Dogecoin, which started as a complete joke, has skyrocketed to not a joke anymore. | ||
| It hit an all-time high of almost 10 cents yesterday, but it was so minuscule, you wouldn't have understood why you have millions of shares. | ||
| Didn't Elon tweet that too? | ||
| So Elon has been adding to this. | ||
| He'll tweet something and it'll make something spike. | ||
| He added Bitcoin to his info, I think his bio. | ||
| And also that gentleman who's running for governor of California. | ||
| How do you say his name again? | ||
| I don't know if he's actually running for. | ||
| I saw him get asked that. | ||
| He's like, is this real? | ||
| And he was like, well, technically, recall Gavin Newsom. | ||
| I don't think he's officially, he's not following paperwork or anything. | ||
| He's having fun. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Yeah, he's having fun. | ||
| But he tweeted about it too. | ||
| He was with Google or with Facebook? | ||
| Google. | ||
| But do you have anything to do with Facebook ever? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Find out if you did. | ||
| Because I'm reading Matt Taibbi's book, Hate Inc. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Earlier at Facebook. | ||
| Maybe not Google. | ||
| Maybe it was Facebook then. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Instead of Google. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| Okay. | ||
| But he's basically explaining in one of his tweets recently. | ||
| Pull that up because he was comparing Robin Hood to Facebook. | ||
| And he's saying that they pretend that you're a customer. | ||
| But you're not a customer. | ||
| In fact, you're the client. | ||
| And what you are is you're the product. | ||
| And they pretend that they're doing you service. | ||
| But what they're really doing is they're taking all of your data and they're selling it and they're getting rich. | ||
| And they're not giving you any of that money. | ||
| And that's the same thing with Robinhood. | ||
| It's the same sort of scenario. | ||
| He laid it out in his Twitter. | ||
| But it's a situation where Once this genie's out of the bottle, where these regular people have figured out how to manipulate stock markets, and truth be told, I don't know jack shit about stock markets. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| I literally barely pay attention. | ||
| But they've figured out how to manipulate it. | ||
| And once they've figured out how to do this, they can keep doing this. | ||
| I don't know how they're going to stop it. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| How are you going to stop Reddit? | ||
| How are you going to stop these intelligent fucking people with plenty of time that are organizing? | ||
| I mean, but you'd have to know how to actually do it, because I was over here like, maybe I should call my brother and tell him he should get in on this. | ||
| But it's like a Ponzi scheme. | ||
| It's like a pump and dump, right? | ||
| The idea is, like, you get in early, and then it gets to a certain point. | ||
| You got to realize, like, okay, it's time to get out. | ||
| It's time to get out. | ||
| Like, if you buy it a dollar, and then it gets to $30, and then you're like, shit, this might crash soon. | ||
| Get out now! | ||
| I don't know what the number would be. | ||
| I'm just saying it. | ||
| I think that's what a lot of people think, but the understanding I have of this GameStop situation is what makes it a little different is that short squeeze situation is where there's contracts, which I think it just happened because the market just closed. | ||
| Because those contracts exist, someone has to buy that contract at the end of the day when the contract comes to When does the market close? | ||
| Four o'clock every day. | ||
| Oh, four o'clock East Coast time? | ||
| It just closed half an hour ago. | ||
| So that's what this big issue was. | ||
| These contracts, you could tell, were going to close on the 29th, which is Friday, at 4 p.m. | ||
| And when that happens, whoever holds that contract has to fill. | ||
| They have to fill the contract. | ||
| So they'll find the shares. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, so that's why these hedge fund people are fucked. | |
| So we'll see what happens after the next couple days, which is like after hours trading. | ||
| It's not something a retail investor gets to do, and these hedge funds do get to do. | ||
| That's what was happening maybe two days ago. | ||
| They were driving the price down because they have the ability to do that. | ||
| They have abilities that retail investors don't have, and that's really the big argument I feel like is going on right now. | ||
| It's like, they can do shit we can't do. | ||
| It's all so weird because the stock market has always been this weird number thing that's based on confidence. | ||
| Like, you can decide, buy, sell. | ||
| Where's it going? | ||
| Where's it going? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sell it! | |
| Sell, sell, sell! | ||
| Sounds stressful. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I had a friend of mine that I used to do taekwondo with that became a stock market guy. | ||
| And he was just into coke and hookers. | ||
| And then he got into the stock market. | ||
| And I ran into him once. | ||
| This is when I was doing stand-up. | ||
| I hadn't seen him forever. | ||
| He's like not a guy that you would think of being as a market guy. | ||
| He was a tank. | ||
| He was like 5'10", 220, big thick fucking neck, always partying. | ||
| Just a fucking animal. | ||
| I think he was on steroids. | ||
| And I ran into him and he was just doing coke and drinking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And tell him he's in the stock market now. | ||
| I was like, you're a stock broker? | ||
| He's like, bro, it's fucking fun, man. | ||
| I fucking love it, man. | ||
| We're selling stocks. | ||
| We're making money. | ||
| He was an animal. | ||
| I thought of a stock market analyst as being a guy with a pocket protector. | ||
| Like Warren Buffett or some shit. | ||
| Well, back in the day, I thought they had a calculator and a computer, and they really knew a lot about the business. | ||
| And they were just really calculated about their investments. | ||
| And then I ran into this wild dude that I knew from my fighting days. | ||
| I'm like, this guy's wild. | ||
| I'm like, you're a stockbroker? | ||
| And he was like, dude, that's what we do. | ||
| How long has he been in it? | ||
| We're talking about a long time ago. | ||
| I just ran into him randomly at a comedy club. | ||
| But he had been doing it for a few years. | ||
| I always think that I want to get into that. | ||
| I'm like, oh man, maybe you should buy some stock. | ||
| But then I'm also like, nigga, what are you talking about? | ||
| You don't even know what stock is. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, but I should still buy some, right? | ||
| You're too busy with clown college. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't know shit about stocks. | |
| How are you going to know what you're investing in? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I had this idea where I was just like, if I ever did invest in anything, it would probably be copper. | ||
| Do you think that the stock market's broken now? | ||
| Why copper? | ||
| Well, because I figured that copper isn't everything, you know? | ||
| Right? | ||
| It takes copper to make batteries, so people will always buy batteries. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Is copper in batteries? | ||
| Lithium ion. | ||
| It's called Duracell, the copper top. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's how I make my... | ||
| What about energizers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't have... | |
| But then pennies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I fucking hate pennies. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| I'm not a fan. | ||
| Round that shit off. | ||
| Coin shortage. | ||
| Why is it every time you need a penny, you can't find a penny? | ||
| Well, there's been scams where they've stolen, like, a penny on a dollar on things, and they've made millions of dollars on that. | ||
| That's what, uh... | ||
| That movie is about with Ben Affleck and Giovanni Ribisi. | ||
| I can't think of it right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's where I heard it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And that's a stock market. | ||
| And then the office space thing, too. | ||
| They're like shaving off a tenth of a penny. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was one of Bernie Sanders' ideas. | ||
| That's one of the things that made me attracted to what he was saying about the ability to raise money to pay off money. | ||
| Student loan debt and for Medicare for All. | ||
| The idea was that they were going to take a small amount of each speculation bet on Wall Street. | ||
| So this same kind of shit that we're talking about with GameStop that fucked over these guys. | ||
| Before that, those speculators, he was going to take a small percentage, less than one cent off of each speculation. | ||
| Individual sale and speculation. | ||
| He said he was going to raise trillions of dollars just doing that. | ||
| And it makes you think, oh, wait a minute, is that possible? | ||
| If that's possible, that sounds like a good way to do it. | ||
| That's a shitty thing they're doing anyway. | ||
| If you're not willing to pay a small portion of it, like a percentage of a cent, if you took a whole cent, let's say they took one penny off of every speculation, you're not willing to pay one cent? | ||
| Yeah, that is brilliant. | ||
| Yeah, one cent? | ||
| Even one cent would be like, I'd be like, that's reasonable. | ||
| Like, if you wanted to buy a house, and they're like, well, we need taxes. | ||
| Okay, well, how much? | ||
| A penny. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, I'm gonna buy a car. | ||
| Well, we need taxes. | ||
| How much? | ||
| A penny. | ||
| Who's gonna complain about a penny? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| If everything was one penny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One penny in sales tax for everything. | ||
| Are they getting rid of auto coins? | ||
| Auto coins? | ||
| Are they getting rid of all the coins? | ||
| Oh, all the coins. | ||
| Like quarters and shit. | ||
| Like, isn't that a thing right now? | ||
| Are they? | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| There's a coin shortage. | ||
| There's a shortage? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where are they all going? | ||
| I think it was because... | ||
| Fountains? | ||
| Fountains. | ||
| Fountains. | ||
| He said wishing. | ||
| I think the mints closed because of COVID and so they couldn't keep making them and so there wasn't enough going around in circulation. | ||
| So they're thinking about getting rid of coins? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I don't know if they're getting rid of them. | ||
| I just know that most of the year there's been a shortage. | ||
| Like when you go to the places like pay with card only, we don't have cash. | ||
| Bro, you know what my favorite shit to do is ever? | ||
| Because I'm such a dork. | ||
| I like paying for things with Apple Pay. | ||
| I like going double-click, look at my face, doot-doot, and buying my groceries. | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| I'm in the future. | ||
| I love Apple Pay. | ||
| I just got into tapping my cart. | ||
| I just got into that. | ||
| I'm still doing the chip, pushing in the chip. | ||
| I remember when that was new. | ||
| That was new. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now you can just tap it. | ||
| I've never tapped. | ||
| I've tried. | ||
| I can never get it to work. | ||
| I did it at an arcade the other day. | ||
| An arcade? | ||
| You're going to arcades? | ||
| What are you playing, Pac-Man? | ||
| Oh, Joe, I was doing the punching machine. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| What's your high score? | ||
| Oh, okay, so the high score was 900, and I got 808. Yeah. | ||
| But it was a... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There were some chicks who were with me and shit, and they were hitting that shit. | ||
| I was like, God damn! | ||
| I was like, y'all do need us. | ||
| I'm like, I'm just over here getting 285 and shit. | ||
| There's a trick to those punching machines. | ||
| You gotta throw a hook. | ||
| Oh, that's how I did it. | ||
| It wasn't a straight. | ||
| Straight punches. | ||
| You can get a lot with straight punches, but really what you want to do is stand beside it. | ||
| That's how I got my 808. Shovel punch. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not like a brute. | ||
| I'm like, I knew what I was doing. | ||
| You gotta shovel punch that motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are very addictive, though, those punching machines. | ||
| Dude, I swear to God, we spent like $15 on that thing, dude. | ||
| Just trying to get our ego up, you know? | ||
| Dude, I broke my knuckle on one once. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because you know how they have the leather pad? | ||
| Like, there's the ball. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's a leather pad of the metal thing. | ||
| And I was like, the ball was deflated and they didn't have a pump. | ||
| So I'm like, let me just punch that metal thing. | ||
| And I blasted that fucking thing. | ||
| My knuckle was cracked for a long time. | ||
| Have you ever broke one of the machines, Joe? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I never broke the machine, but I did get told to stop kicking it because I was kicking it. | ||
| Dude, you're a kid. | ||
| I was trying to figure out what's the best way to do it. | ||
| I was like, a wheel kick would be the best way to do it. | ||
| Just blast that motherfucker. | ||
| Did you get it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But my heel, after I hit it, was bouncing off the back of the machine because you go through the bag and the trajectory is, you know, your legs are longer than your arms. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Bouncing it off the machine after I hit it. | ||
| Dude, you're destructive. | ||
| I was like, this is just a silly machine. | ||
| Can you get one of those machines in here? | ||
| I should, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| I should have one of those machines in here. | ||
| Alright, then I'll move to Austin. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's on. | ||
| Whoever makes those machines, holler at me on Instagram. | ||
| We'll find it. | ||
| Holler at Jamie. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| Holler at me. | ||
| I'm not going to read it. | ||
| But holler at Jamie. | ||
| We'll get one of those. | ||
| Oh, bro. | ||
| Speaking of arcade, I was riffing with my friend the other day. | ||
| About this arcade game. | ||
| I drew it. | ||
| I drew it, and I was just fucking around. | ||
| It was just an art piece. | ||
| But I was like, oh, this should be a real thing. | ||
| I said, okay, it's like Street Fighter, but instead of using, like, you know, the Street Fighter people, it's called Murder Mayhem, and then Murder Mayhem USA. So what you do is you actually use all the murderers in U.S. history, and, like, but... | ||
| Have them fight against each other? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can pick O.J., you can pick the Dylan Roof, and then have them, like, fight each other and shit, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jeffrey Domber versus Ted Bundy. | ||
| Hell yeah, bro. | ||
| Fight to the death of knives. | ||
| Casey Anthony, bro. | ||
| She's swinging a baby at you and shit. | ||
| You play it. | ||
| We're getting that in here, too. | ||
| And then I'm moving to Austin. | ||
| That could sell. | ||
| People would get furious. | ||
| Like, you remember how people got really mad at Grand Theft Auto because you could kill a hooker with a crowbar? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Like, but... | ||
| You know, they think, like, you're going to encourage people to go do that, but it doesn't really work that way. | ||
| Yeah, why would I ever fucking really do that unless I was, like, the grim sleeper? | ||
| It doesn't work that way, though. | ||
| There's no evidence that, like, violence in video games actually encourages violence, but some people believe it does. | ||
| Like, some people believe, like, that Call of Duty makes people want to go shoot people. | ||
| You'd figure that you'd get your violence fix from that, and then I'm done. | ||
| That's what the Japanese believe. | ||
| They believe in kinky videos and violence and stuff, that you get all of it out of your system that way, and you don't actually go and perpetrate it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What do you got there, Jamie? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| On Twitter, and it's on Twitter, isn't it? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Yeah, on Twitter, where you can't pretend to be the president, but you can watch a dude stick a fucking Q-tip up a dude's ass at the airport. | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is COVID? This is the COVID test at the airport. | ||
| Now, why is this person dressed up like a prisoner? | ||
| Oh, it's a mannequin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, that bitch is weird. | ||
| She's like a bitch in a ring. | ||
| Like, if you were having sex with a girl doggy style like that, you'd be like, what are you doing with your legs? | ||
| I'm like, well, first of all, where's her ass? | ||
| This is uncomfortable. | ||
| So they're showing you how to do it. | ||
| They stick it. | ||
| They dig it in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So is that real? | ||
| That's how they're going to do COVID tests now? | ||
| And it comes out brown? | ||
| Stick it up your asshole? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Smell it! | ||
| What do you do if someone's got diarrhea, and the moment you put it in there, it's like popping the cork off the bottle, and just champagne! | ||
| They're going to hold it for the test. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Stevo. | ||
| Stevo's going to fly to China just to do a video. | ||
| Hey, check my ass! | ||
| I might have it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blasto! | |
| Blasto! | ||
| That shit's ridiculous. | ||
| And people are going to actually do this? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| There's some people that are going to be happy. | ||
| Use two Q-tips because one's not enough. | ||
| All these two masked people. | ||
| Do you think there's any chance that people in China are trolling us? | ||
| Because they're like, oh no, they're going to believe this too. | ||
| Wait, like, and it's not real? | ||
| It's certainly a possibility. | ||
| Stop making fake cool shit. | ||
| There's certainly a possibility that they're trying to undermine society in America by pretending they're doing things here and we start doing it. | ||
| Do you see they're telling you to wear three masks now? | ||
| Some people are saying three masks are 90% effective, but two masks are only 70% effective. | ||
| You should wear three masks. | ||
| Now we gotta wear two masks? | ||
| They're telling you to wear two masks. | ||
| And a lot of people are like, I'm happy to wear two masks. | ||
| Happy. | ||
| The same people that take photos on Twitter, their profile picture has them wearing a mask. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they're wearing two masks now. | ||
| Question, how often are we supposed to change out our masks? | ||
| Never. | ||
| They didn't tell us that. | ||
| That's how you build immunity. | ||
| Get all that funk in your mask. | ||
| Just live with it. | ||
| Yeah, like you're developing a culture of bacteria. | ||
| It's inside the mask that keeps you healthy. | ||
| How long is this mass shit going to last, man? | ||
| I don't know, but Fauci was saying that we're never going to shake hands again. | ||
| I'm like, bitch, I never stopped. | ||
| I never stopped shaking hands. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| We're never going to shake hands again. | ||
| This is the same guy, by the way, not to diminish his reputation as a doctor and a person of medicine, because he is a brilliant guy, but he was telling people in the 1980s that everybody was going to die of AIDS. Same guy. | ||
| It's the same guy that thought everyone was going to die from HIV back in the AIDS scare. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, these people, they always fear for the worst. | ||
| Because historically, there have been cases, whether it's the Black Plague or Ebola, there's been cases where a disease comes along that fucking kills everybody. | ||
| Do you want to hear some gross shit? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| My grandmother's pussy. | ||
| My grandmother's asshole. | ||
| You think her pussy's bad? | ||
| Yo, my stepfather just died of AIDS or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was still dying of AIDS? Well, he did. | |
| And the part I thought was gross about it was that they cremated him and they threw his asses in the ocean. | ||
| And I just thought that was so nasty. | ||
| I was like, people fish there. | ||
| Is that good enough to kill the AIDS virus? | ||
| But this is where my ignorance comes in. | ||
| I'm like, do those ashes have AIDS on them? | ||
| How does that affect the beluga whales? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which gets your age fish. | |
| Catch an AIDS fish. | ||
| It already comes out filleted and shit. | ||
| Well, that's one of the things they found out about mad cow disease is that they would take the... | ||
| Like, when people got mad cow disease, which is called... | ||
| The boop. | ||
| Jacob's Crutzfeld or Crutzfeld Jacob, whichever one it is. | ||
| Who names? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's probably two scientists. | ||
| But mad cow disease comes from something called prions. | ||
| And prions are... | ||
| It's like a thing that lives in your brain tissue. | ||
| And one of the things they found out was when they used instruments on people with mad cow disease, and then they tried to cook the mad cow disease off, like to sterilize it on these instruments, it didn't work. | ||
| So they would have them at a thousand degree temperature for hours, and the prions would stay alive, which is fucking insane. | ||
| So you could potentially develop this thing that doesn't die. | ||
| It's like an immortal disease. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if they're just cremating someone, maybe that's not good enough for the AIDS virus. | ||
| Maybe it's good enough for AIDS virus, but not good enough for mad cow. | ||
| So if someone gets mad cow and they barbecue them and fucking cremate them and then throw them in the ocean, then the fish could get mad cow. | ||
| Or seals. | ||
| Or walruses. | ||
| Or maybe I'm a moron, I'm just making shit up. | ||
| Well, I like your fake news over China's fake news. | ||
| Butthole, probes. | ||
| Is it that hard to figure out whether or not people have COVID with a nose swab? | ||
| Yeah, I like what I did out there, just with the tickle of that. | ||
| More accurate, probably. | ||
| Oh, with the asshole? | ||
| How much more accurate do we need? | ||
| Remember they were saying we were going to check college dorms, the pipes, to see if... | ||
| They have been doing that. | ||
| Right, I mean, I didn't know you could even do that until COVID happened, so maybe it's... | ||
| Yeah, that's how they find out if people have it. | ||
| They check the shit. | ||
| Remember how crazy people was like at the beginning of COVID when people spraying down fucking their groceries and shit and cleaning them and stuff? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| People were wearing masks while they were driving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I saw a guy wearing a mask driving yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come on, son. | ||
| I wish I was driving next to that, dude. | ||
| I'm like, you're a bum. | ||
| Like, you're a bum. | ||
| It's just a weird way to drive around with masks and a glove. | ||
| Like, is this how we want to live? | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| How many people do you know that caught it? | ||
| Probably about like four people. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Personally, yeah. | ||
| I know four people that caught it this week. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, no, no, five. | ||
| Because Tony just caught it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tony had it for one day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said, my back kind of hurt. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| He didn't even think he had it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He came in to get tested. | ||
| And I'm like, you got it, you fuck. | ||
| Get in the corner. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| We have a dunce chair in the corner. | ||
| Because the only people that have sat in it is Jamie and Tony. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they've got the COVID. Yeah. | ||
| As soon as Jamie came in, I'm like, get in that corner! | ||
| You got the COVID, son! | ||
| Man, I had to... | ||
| When I had started doing those apartment shows and shit, people were like, well, I'm not gonna... | ||
| Because that was a concern of people. | ||
| Like, well, I'm not gonna catch this and this and that. | ||
| I had to tell people, like, yo, I already had it. | ||
| You know, just so people... | ||
| It's over, and I've deep-washed my apartment, and I come over here and stuff like that. | ||
| Now, I actually took an antibody test. | ||
| Yeah, a girl pricked my fucking finger and shit, and I didn't have any. | ||
| I was cool. | ||
| And then right after that, maybe like a week later, I don't know if it was the COVID, but I came down with something crazy, and I was real fucking weak, and I was sweating in bed, but I could still taste shit. | ||
| Well, that doesn't mean you definitely lose your taste. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, you might have had it. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| It's like regular colds are still around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I killed that shit. | |
| Of course you did. | ||
| You're healthy. | ||
| Most healthy people are going to sail through this. | ||
| The people that I know that have gotten it, every one of them, like one of my friends, she got it. | ||
| She was no sickness at all. | ||
| She didn't feel a thing. | ||
| Chappelle didn't have any symptoms. | ||
| My friend Raheem, no symptoms, no nothing. | ||
| But my friend CK, he had it, and he had, apparently, I just talked to him, he was six days in, and he still has some symptoms. | ||
| Did they take a test and be like, oh fuck, I got that shit? | ||
| The Chappelle shows that we were doing out here, they all got shut down. | ||
| It was someone that Dave knew outside of the show that was careless. | ||
| It had nothing to do with the show. | ||
| We were testing the whole audience, and we test all the performers. | ||
| And everyone was clean, but... | ||
| Someone had come in contact with some other people that had come in contact with Dave. | ||
| It was a careless person that had nothing to do with the performance. | ||
| And then a bunch of people got it, and it spread through. | ||
| Apparently, I was supposed to be on the Friday show, Friday and Saturday. | ||
| And then Thursday, they were there to do the show, and they canceled the show while the audience was seated. | ||
| The audience was seated, the band was playing, and I guess a bunch of people had tested positive, and they had to shut the show down. | ||
| Right here at Stubbs? | ||
| Yep, right here at Stubbs. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That shit crazy, man. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| But what's weird is that none of them got any symptoms. | ||
| And it's so funny. | ||
| It's like, I still don't even know if that was it, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I bet it was it. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| I bet it was it, but you won't be able to find out now. | ||
| Like, Jamie, you don't have antibodies anymore, right? | ||
| Oh, you did? | ||
| Oh, you already had it? | ||
| Or did you take the vaccine? | ||
| Did you get tested yesterday for antibodies? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, we had an antibody test that we did yesterday. | ||
| You taking that vaccine? | ||
| I mean, I would if I felt like I needed it. | ||
| But I just feel like if you maintain your health, and I think for some people it's important. | ||
| I think for some people it's good. | ||
| Are they going to make people take it in order to go overseas? | ||
| I'm worried about that. | ||
| I don't like needles. | ||
| I want to know how people fare over X amount of months. | ||
| What happens in six months after the vaccine? | ||
| How long does it last for? | ||
| Do you need it again next year? | ||
| Didn't a chick faint on national TV for taking that motherfucking vaccine? | ||
| Yeah, but apparently she faints whenever she gets a needle, which is hilarious. | ||
| They chose her. | ||
| Because that does happen. | ||
| I knew a girl who would see, she would see movies, a girl I was dating, she would see a movie where a dude was shooting up and she'd black out. | ||
| Faint. | ||
| In a movie theater. | ||
| We went to the movies, and someone was shooting up in the movie theater, and she blacked out. | ||
| I was like, what is happening here? | ||
| I remember when I was like 17, and I was walking down the street. | ||
| I was walking down the street, and I saw a man doing heroin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| He was doing heroin. | ||
| It was an old junkie. | ||
| He was doing heroin. | ||
| And I just looked over, and I was just like... | ||
| Damn! | ||
| That's a crazy way to get high. | ||
| And I just kept walking. | ||
| I was like, damn! | ||
| What's crazy is when they get to the point where they're shooting into the same vein over and over again and then they get gangrene. | ||
| Dude, that shit is sad. | ||
| That's what happened to Mitch Hedberg. | ||
| Mitch Hedberg was in the hospital at one point in time because he had been shooting into the same spot and he developed a horrible infection. | ||
| He still has one of my, probably my favorite joke of all time I've ever heard. | ||
| And it's so simple. | ||
| That motherfucker said, I don't got a girlfriend. | ||
| I just know a girl who'd be really mad if I said that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, perfect! | |
| Did you know him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not well, but I met him and hung out with him a little bit. | ||
| He was friends with Stan Hope. | ||
| He was one of the best at non sequiturs because he could do a whole hour, but it was like one joke that had nothing to do with the next joke, had nothing to do with the next joke, and he wrote constantly, constantly writing. | ||
| He was brilliant, man. | ||
| Just so unusual, too. | ||
| No one liked that guy. | ||
| He was so unique. | ||
| And his tone, it was jazz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know, but I know a girl who'd be really mad if I said that. | |
| Speaking of jazz, did you ever listen to the one album that he had where they played music in the background? | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| Brilliant fucking one-liners, bro. | ||
| Comedy, brother. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| It unites us, brings us together, and it's bringing you to Austin! | ||
| Only if you bring that punching machine, nigga. | ||
| You know I'm here, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got it. | |
| Punch machine. | ||
| Hey, brother, thank you very much for being here. | ||
| Yo, man, thank you so much, Joe. | ||
| I really appreciate it, man. | ||
| Always good to see you. | ||
| Great to see you again. | ||
| Yes, sir, man. | ||
| Thank you for bringing us out here. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| Tell everybody your Instagram, your Twitter. | ||
| Twitter doesn't work right now. | ||
| I got a new Twitter. | ||
| I got a new Twitter. | ||
| What's the new Twitter? | ||
| My new Twitter is Jamar Malachi. | ||
| M-A-L-A-C-H-I. And it says my unsuspended account and my Twitter account. | ||
| And my Instagram is jamar underscore neighbors. | ||
| And I also have a YouTube channel, you know, uploading some podcasts. | ||
| My damn self. | ||
| Support the dinosaur. | ||
| Goddamn right, baby. | ||
| Got podcasts, got everything. | ||
| Hilarious stand-up comic. | ||
| Thank you so much, John. | ||
| I really appreciate your time. | ||
| Appreciate you, man. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| Appreciate you. |
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