Dec. 15, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:34:58
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| What the fuck's going on with this? | ||
| It's those Virgin Abloh kicks, these. | ||
| These are Air Jordan Files. | ||
| And like he was saying, it's real controversial if you're going to cut all the stuff out of the different holes. | ||
| Cut the stuff out of the holes. | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| There's holes? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it's got stuff. | ||
| It's got holes with fabric in it, and you can either cut it out or leave it in. | ||
| Well, why would you cut it out? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I guess just to be one of the cool kids. | ||
| So, Jamie, explain. | ||
| I'm trying to find the hole cut out so you can see it. | ||
| Some cool kids. | ||
| Oh, by the way, salute, my friend. | ||
| Cheers, sir. | ||
| Thanks for having me back. | ||
| Please. | ||
| My honor. | ||
| Thanks for being back. | ||
| Now that I'm in your home state. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| So what do you do? | ||
| He didn't cut it out either. | ||
| Okay, this guy didn't cut it out. | ||
| You can see it with the yellow socks. | ||
| You're supposed to cut that little hole out here. | ||
| You're supposed to. | ||
| In that little hole. | ||
| Once you get it home, you have to have an exacto knife. | ||
|
unidentified
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Why would you fucking... | |
| What? | ||
| You got to bring an exacto knife to fix your shoes? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's the... | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| That's the designer's idea. | ||
| They're running out of shit. | ||
| You know what it is? | ||
| It's like there's so many different kinds of sneakers that you're running out of new ways to get people. | ||
| So now you have to get a fucking X-Acto knife. | ||
| Yeah, and cut out your circles or leave them or only cut out one. | ||
| I don't know if there's any kind of hierarchy there that you might reach a point where you're a sneaker god or not. | ||
| My buddy James runs this thing called Off the Cut, a little podcast about sneakers. | ||
| So he gets me hooked up on the good ones that are hard to find. | ||
| Imagine how quick you'd run out of shit to talk about if you got a podcast just on sneakers. | ||
| I'd go for a long time. | ||
| I'd go for a long time. | ||
| Jamie's a sneakerhead. | ||
| There's some serious guys out there. | ||
| Talk shit about sneakers, Jamie will jump on that mic. | ||
| Yeah, this guy James, man, he has like 5,000 or 6,000 pairs. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, that is madness. | ||
| That is madness. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Yeah, these are Cameron Haynes, Under Armors, Hovers. | ||
| They're great if you want to run mountains. | ||
| I hunt in these. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I think we were trying to get me on a little earlier and you were still out hunting. | ||
| Yeah, that was in October. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, how are you digging Texas? | ||
| I fucking love it. | ||
| Well, I don't wish I moved here earlier because I moved here at the right time. | ||
| It was the perfect time to move here. | ||
| But I love it. | ||
| Everybody's moving here. | ||
| You ain't kidding, man. | ||
| Oracle just moved here. | ||
| Elon Musk moved here. | ||
| It's a mass exodus. | ||
| Adam Carolla is moving here, too. | ||
| I was watching some interview with him today. | ||
| It's not just the taxes. | ||
| LA just got a new district attorney who is going to get rid of bail. | ||
| They're not going to have cash bail anymore. | ||
| They're not going to arrest people for resisting arrest. | ||
| They're not going to charge people for resisting arrest. | ||
| They're not going to charge people for... | ||
| There's a bunch of things like loitering, drunken disorderly, things along those lines. | ||
| So it's going to get wild. | ||
| Well, as long as the California people that move here don't bring that kind of stuff. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem. | ||
| This dude is the same dude that apparently was doing the same kind of stupid shit in San Francisco. | ||
| Well, we've got a mayor in Dallas that just passed. | ||
| I think it's up to $1,500. | ||
| They don't prosecute. | ||
| So literally, somebody could walk into my merch store there in Dallas and take $1,499 and walk out, and they won't even get in trouble. | ||
| That is so ridiculous. | ||
| Now, I wouldn't advise them to try it because they might get shot, but they won't get in trouble. | ||
| That is so ridiculous, though, that people have the lack of foresight to see how that would become a real problem. | ||
| We're starting to get a lot of homeless problems here, too, in Texas, period. | ||
| Austin's pretty bad. | ||
| It's the first time I've spent the night here in a long time, and I was like, wow, that's a big community of homeless. | ||
| Well, you've got so many people out of work. | ||
| I mean, what are the numbers of people out of work? | ||
| It's some insane number. | ||
| It's like 30%? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, something crazy like that? | ||
| When you have something like that, you're going to get a lot more homeless people. | ||
| There's people that were, like, barely on the edge. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| The question is how do you bring them back? | ||
| How do you get them back into society? | ||
| How do you help them out? | ||
| How do you get them housing? | ||
| Because some of them are drug addicts and mentally ill, but some of them are just people that are down on their luck. | ||
| And in this sort of environment, it's not even their fault. | ||
| They didn't even do anything wrong. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| I mean, welcome to the shittiest year in history. | ||
| 2020, man. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| It's pretty bad, though. | ||
| It ain't shit compared to, like, the Black Plague or the Inquisition or the, you know, World War II. Well, for sure. | ||
| But in our lifetime, let's put it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
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In our lifetime, it's rough. | |
| You know, it's pretty shitty. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not a good year. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| I'm ready for 2021. You think that's going to be better? | ||
| Are you going to be lining up for the fucking vaccination? | ||
| What are you going to do, bro? | ||
| You going to wait? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think I'm going to hang out. | ||
| I think I'm going to hang out and see how everybody else does because I'm just not sure. | ||
| I don't consider myself against the vaccine. | ||
| I can just consider myself, let's wait and see. | ||
| Let's hang out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know a lot of people that have gotten the disease, and I know a couple of them that got it really bad. | ||
| Real bad. | ||
| Like one of them, two of them almost died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of them was an older gentleman, and one of them was a young guy that was just worn the fuck out when he got sick. | ||
| And he was beat down already and, you know, not at his healthiest, but he's only in his 40s, and he almost died. | ||
| Don't tell me that. | ||
| We're in our 50s. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, bro. | ||
| You taking vitamins now? | ||
| Your wife's got you working out. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, man, you getting pumped? | ||
| Nah, I'd like to say that I don't work out. | ||
| I hope things work out. | ||
| You know, now she's got me going up to the gym and upstairs and like she said a minute ago, it's like I'm walking the green mile like I'm going to death. | ||
| I'm like walking up the stairs all sad and slumped over. | ||
| Dude, you got a trainer, and I'm telling you, if you just stick with it, once you start seeing yourself looking good, you start getting some abs. | ||
| What the hell are you talking about, Joe? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| You look better. | ||
| Better than the already pristine condition you find yourself in currently. | ||
| On the outside. | ||
|
unidentified
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The inside's all jacked up. | |
| Your liver's probably strong as fuck, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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My liver is strong. | |
| Your liver probably looks like a linebacker. | ||
| So what's happening with your show, man? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| What's the latest? | ||
| Oh shit, you're just gonna go right for the big one, huh? | ||
| Let's get in there, man. | ||
| First of all, I love your show. | ||
| I've been loving it for years. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| And I'm a giant muscle car fan, so it's right up my alley. | ||
| But what's the latest? | ||
| Well, everybody hold on to your hat out there. | ||
| Fast and Loud is no more. | ||
| I have exited Discovery, and I'm a free agent. | ||
|
unidentified
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What? | |
| We're going to be doing some cool things in 2021, and it just was a perfect storm, so to speak. | ||
| It was time for me to expand and grow a little bit, and I'd kind of gotten to the top of that mountain, being Discovery, and there wasn't anything else for me to do there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| I used this year to kind of rethink and reshape what I want to do in the future. | ||
| So, fast and loud, no moss. | ||
| Jeez Louise. | ||
| Hey man, eight years though. | ||
| That's a long run. | ||
| You know, 300-ish episodes and, you know. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| There's only so many times you can buy a car, fix a car, sell a car, and it was time to make some changes, make it more fun. | ||
| And so the stuff we've got coming out in 2021 is going to be quite a blast. | ||
| What are you wearing? | ||
| Well, you know, I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. | ||
| You selling them Wonder Woman bracelets? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shaking off bullets with those. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ka-ching! | |
| Yeah, a lady asked me one time, she goes, don't those bother you when they make noise? | ||
| I said, they only make noise when I do this. | ||
| Did you tell that to her? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a good joke. | ||
| Uncomfortable conversation? | ||
| She thought it was funny. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It was back in my single days. | ||
| Right person. | ||
| I'm all married now. | ||
| Right person. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, we're going to... | ||
| I think I'm going to end up doing a podcast because there's not a whole lot going on in my genre in the podcast world. | ||
| I mean, I know some guys are doing it and they're doing well, but... | ||
| I've never been allowed to before. | ||
| So you've got to realize that when I signed my deal with Disco, it was almost 10 years ago. | ||
| Is that what you call it? | ||
| Disco? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Discovery didn't, you know, social media didn't even exist hardly. | ||
| So I signed off on All Media. | ||
| So, up to this point, until literally... | ||
| All media, including social media? | ||
| It wasn't even social media back then. | ||
| I mean, what was it, like MySpace or something? | ||
| Well, I was doing something on another network back in the day, and they wanted to get control of my social media. | ||
| That was, like, part of the deal. | ||
| And they thought it was just, like, an easy yes. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| I was like, you can eat shit. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| You can pay for it. | ||
| Well, it was ridiculous. | ||
| They wanted to use it to promote other shows on their network. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about? | ||
| And they're like, well, everybody else lets us do it. | ||
| I go, I have millions of followers. | ||
| Like, there's no fucking chance you're just going to get access to that for free. | ||
| Now, I had the same conversation several times. | ||
| It's a weird conversation, right? | ||
| It's like you know they're being Weasley. | ||
| Like, you know this is a valuable thing. | ||
| Hey, no big deal, Richard. | ||
|
unidentified
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We just like to use your entire social media to promote a lot of other discovery programs. | |
| No big deal. | ||
| Yeah, no big deal. | ||
| Yeah, you're cool with that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay, good. | |
| Sign here. | ||
| Well, see, they try that, but I couldn't post myself. | ||
| I couldn't do things, like, of myself for a lot of the time. | ||
| Like, if I went out and bought a car and my camera crew wasn't with me and so I took my camera phone and whatever and I wanted to post about it, I wasn't able to do that. | ||
| You weren't allowed. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh! | |
| Yeah, it was pretty rough. | ||
|
unidentified
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But that's ridiculous, but that would just boost up your social media, which would boost up the show. | |
| You would think so. | ||
| You would think that that would be the thought, that I'm going to help boost the show. | ||
| Walk me through a conversation with one of these knuckleheads. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Well, a fake conversation. | ||
| Pretend. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Let's pretend it's not Discovery Channel. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| It's called the Hoo-Ha Network. | ||
| Yeah, let me tell you, it's so bad. | ||
| The question would be, how was my tenure there? | ||
| And how well was I treated? | ||
| And so the answer is... | ||
| There's a piece of the contract, of the contract when I exited. | ||
| Oh, that you can't talk shit. | ||
| That I can't talk. | ||
| It's up to a $25,000 fine per occurrence. | ||
| Per occurrence of you talking shit? | ||
| Me talking shit. | ||
| Can I talk shit? | ||
| You can talk as much shit as you want. | ||
| I love the Discovery Channel. | ||
|
unidentified
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I would talk shit, but I watch their programs all the time. | |
| I like it too. | ||
| I think the automotive programming could have been a little stronger, and we wanted to make some changes, but we were just kind of stuck in a rut. | ||
| The problem is they're a business, and businesses will get away with whatever they can get away with. | ||
| There's a reason why we had to make regulations to make sure that companies don't dump chemicals into rivers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's because there's certain people that when they can get away with something, they'll get away with something. | ||
| So anybody that's telling you... | ||
| But the problem is, it's so short-sighted. | ||
| Anybody that's telling you that you can't post something on your social media without a camera crew there representing Discovery Channel, it's so silly because it would boost your social media. | ||
| The more you post, the more interesting shit you post, particularly about muscle cars, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Correct. | |
| The more it boosts your social media, the more people are going to watch your show. | ||
| It's math. | ||
| It's like the rising tide lifts all boats. | ||
| I agree with you 100%, but the powers that be, they were not having it. | ||
| It took me five years of literally begging to do a crossover with Chip Foose. | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| And of course that episode did so well that they all think they're geniuses now. | ||
| But, you know, so I had a good run with Discovery. | ||
| I'm ready for the next thing, which, by the way, if you're a producer or a network or a streamer out there, I'm a free agent. | ||
| And I would have to say I might be a very big free agent. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Chip Foose designed my 1970 Barracuda, which I sold and then bought back. | ||
| I have it again. | ||
| I've done that a few times. | ||
| Roadster Shop has it. | ||
| Oh, right on. | ||
| I love those guys. | ||
| I just got my chassis in for a 59 Corvette that I'm building for a guy in Spain, and we've changed it to Right Hand Drive. | ||
| Roadster Shop chassis all the way. | ||
| Why did you go Right Hand Drive? | ||
|
unidentified
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What are you crazy? | |
| Because he's going to be over in Spain. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, so we're going to start building that car here pretty quick. | ||
| How hard is that? | ||
| That's got to be a big undertaking. | ||
| Let me tell you how easy it is. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Roadster Shop did it on their system and made the frame that way. | ||
| So literally, I just moved the steering wheel and I'm done. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Plugs right in. | ||
| It is so cool that there's companies like them and Detroit Speed, these aftermarket companies that build these really trick chassis that you can take and stick on a 70 Chevelle and do it up and it'll handle much better. | ||
| Independent suspension. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's so nice. | ||
| What's really cool is the second you get the chassis, you're going back together. | ||
| You're building your car. | ||
| You're not taking it all apart and then having to operate on all this other stuff. | ||
| You just yank it off the old chassis and start building. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| It's a cool time to own a muscle car because you can get a muscle car that actually can handle like a modern car. | ||
| It's not a death trap. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember back when all the chassis modifications really started happening and some of the jobs that I'd see come through were chancy events. | ||
| A little shaky. | ||
| A little shaky. | ||
| Yeah, so Roaster Shop is putting a 900 horsepower Mercury engine in it. | ||
| And changing it to a six-speed, putting their chassis on it, and making the whole thing handle correctly. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| I'm really excited that you're not using Gas Monkey Garage to build you a car. | ||
| I would love to use Gas Monkey Garage, which is what I want to talk to you about. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I want to talk to you about something. | ||
| I want to talk to you about a 1970 Chevelle. | ||
| Yeah, that's easy-cheesy. | ||
| I think I need one in my life. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, like a John Wick car. | ||
| The John Wick car, a lot of people think is black with white stripes. | ||
| Do you know what the actual color is? | ||
| Blue? | ||
| No, it's green. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's just the movie is shot so weird. | ||
| You know, it's shot in these exotic sort of like... | ||
| See, that's what it really looks like. | ||
| But most of the scenes, when you see the film, that movie is... | ||
| You know, I don't know what... | ||
| Like, there it looks black. | ||
| Well, no, there it kind of looks green. | ||
| But now that you know it's green... | ||
| Yeah, there it looks black. | ||
| But it's just because it's kind of like a blue filter on everything. | ||
| Is that what it is, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, there's like a blue or green filter they have. | ||
| Yeah, to make the movie. | ||
| Yeah, but would you go that style or would you want different wheels and tire setup and all that kind of stuff? | ||
| Well, I want different wheels and tire setup because I would want it to handle well. | ||
| So I'd want a wider track. | ||
| I'd want it to be tubbed and just make sure that it's got a real solid suspension on it. | ||
| Yeah, we could go with a Roadster Shop chassis, but I think that we get with someone like Kreger or Torque Thrust American and have them make the right size with the offset we want so that it kind of has that look. | ||
| The old school look. | ||
| But it's bigger meat, you know, 22 and 20s and what have you. | ||
| Roadster Shop did a... | ||
| See if you find Roadster Shop 1970 Chevelle. | ||
| They did one. | ||
| That is just fucking phenomenal because it's just the right amount of old school and the right amount of new school. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Look at the meat on the back wheels! | ||
| We can do that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That is no problem. | ||
| Jamie, why are you laughing? | ||
| Jamie drives a Tesla. | ||
| He drives a fucking electric car. | ||
| I drive one too. | ||
| I have one of those. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| Don't you what? | ||
| Well, I actually hit up Zero Engineering the other day to see if I can get a chassis. | ||
| Put that back up there. | ||
| Electric chassis. | ||
| That's America. | ||
| It is. | ||
| You can't get that in Europe. | ||
| You can eat shit. | ||
| You can eat shit, France. | ||
| You can't build one of those. | ||
| You don't know how, Spain. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| You going to build one of those? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's freedom. | ||
|
unidentified
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That is. | |
| Look at that goddamn thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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Look at the back end on that thing. | |
| With the SS right next to the taillight. | ||
| That's easy. | ||
| Just tell me when and where. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Jamie, you don't even give a fuck, do you? | ||
| It doesn't even... | ||
| It, to you, is like sneakers to me. | ||
| Like, you make fun of the fact I wear Under Armour sneakers. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You wear sneakers because you need something on your feet. | ||
| I need to drive a car because I have to get to work. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's the same shit. | ||
| The kid's got no flavor. | ||
| You know what he needs? | ||
| He needs like a 68 Mustang in his life. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I got one. | ||
| I'll sell it. | ||
| Would you drive it? | ||
| You don't even know what they look like, do you? | ||
| What about an 87 Acura Legend? | ||
| Oh, what are you, a communist? | ||
| That's my first car. | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| That might have been one of the worst. | ||
| 87 might have been the worst year for that car. | ||
| My friend Guy had an Acura Legend. | ||
| This was a 91, 92, and I think his was fairly new. | ||
| It might have been the same sort of model. | ||
| Show me what yours looked like. | ||
| They were good at the time, but Jamie, the world's moved on. | ||
| That was a chick car. | ||
| It was definitely a girl's car. | ||
| If you lived in Holland in the 1200s, clogs were all the rage. | ||
| How many cars back then had moonroofs? | ||
| Automatic? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay, well... | ||
| I didn't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sunroofs? | |
| What's the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof? | ||
| No, automatic. | ||
| I drive it at night. | ||
|
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
| Jamie's one of those dudes that sleeps all day. | ||
| It was automatic, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Jamie. | ||
| Automatic makes it even worse. | ||
| Now it's not even a sport car. | ||
|
unidentified
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Jamie, that looks like a slop of hunk of shit. | |
| I'm trying to find the other one. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Did you get laid in that car? | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| All day. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Lots of gigs, basketball games. | ||
| Jamie's got a game. | ||
| He's got an Acura Legend game. | ||
|
unidentified
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Acura Legend game. | |
| I wouldn't go for the 87. Did you get a Perpicipate trophy? | ||
| Participation trophy. | ||
| It's like now. | ||
| I want you to do that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Pull up a 1968 Mustang. | ||
| Shelby GT350. I got one of those. | ||
| You're not a fan of Eleanor's though, huh? | ||
| I'm not a fan of Eleanor. | ||
| A lot of people aren't because they're played out. | ||
| Just played out. | ||
| But it's only in the car world. | ||
| In the regular world, it's not played out at all. | ||
| Yeah, people love it. | ||
| If you roll up in an Eleanor in the regular world, people are like... | ||
| What is this craziness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is exotic! | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I'm not a big fan of the Eleanor. | ||
| That car right there is the one I have. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn dope. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn dope. | ||
| But just give me a regular 68 Mustang because here's what I prefer. | ||
| I prefer the taillight assembly on a regular 68 Mustang. | ||
| Just pull up. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like the bullet car right there. | ||
| The taillights right there, lower right-hand corner. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Go back to where you were. | ||
| Go back to where you were. | ||
| That frickin car. | ||
| You're clicking too fast, young Jamie. | ||
| See, where's the tip? | ||
| Premature clicking. | ||
| No, where were you? | ||
| This is not where you were. | ||
| I need the bullet car out there. | ||
| That was the black one. | ||
| Click on the black one. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| I love that rear deck, the way it lifts in the center. | ||
| I just think that's one of the most beautiful rear ends of a Mustang ever. | ||
| I love the 68. I agree. | ||
| You know, we built the bullet car. | ||
| We recreated it for the McQueen family, and we shut down San Francisco and went and recreated the chase. | ||
| Really? | ||
| On Fast and Loud, yeah. | ||
| I didn't see that episode. | ||
| It's a double episode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| It's wicked because- Come on. | ||
| How can you not like that? | ||
| That's an Eleanor. | ||
| I'm not a fan of that. | ||
| Oh, shut your mouth. | ||
| Shut your mouth, communist. | ||
| Come on, it's just the problem is there's too many of them. | ||
| But it's still, that's a Chip Foose car. | ||
| That's a Chip Foose designed car. | ||
| It's fucking beautiful. | ||
| That's okay, Jamie, but the real Eleanor car is the color that you saw before. | ||
| That's from the movie Gone in 60 Seconds. | ||
| Where did the term Eleanor come from? | ||
| It was like his nickname. | ||
| In the movie, it was like he named all the cars. | ||
| We're going to get Eleanor, we're going to get Mary, we're going to get so-and-so. | ||
| So that was the name of that particular car on his list. | ||
| The movie's terrible, but the car's amazing. | ||
| A car can make a movie. | ||
| Angelina Jolie looked pretty good in that movie. | ||
| She looks good always. | ||
| That movie was... | ||
| At her best. | ||
| Here's a crazy thing. | ||
| Do you know there's a girl online that they called Zombie Angelina Jolie, and they thought that what was going on was this young lady was having so much plastic surgery that she was ruining her face, but it's not true. | ||
| She was just using crazy filters and Photoshop and... | ||
| She just got sentenced to 10 years in jail in Iran for social media posts. | ||
| I heard about this. | ||
| Dude, Iran is a sketchy place to be right now. | ||
| See that picture? | ||
| Look at her hand. | ||
| It's just fully photoshopped. | ||
| Now show with the real image of what she actually looks like. | ||
| She's actually a very pretty young girl. | ||
| Yeah, but this is all like, when you see that photo, there's a photo of her. | ||
| Yeah, you just went back to it. | ||
| Just go back to where you were. | ||
| See that? | ||
| That's what she actually looks like. | ||
| She's actually a very pretty girl. | ||
| And she's got mental health problems. | ||
| And so that image on the right is just, she just used Photoshop and made herself look like that. | ||
| But she doesn't really look like that. | ||
| She looks like a pretty young girl and she's only 20 years old and she's gonna go to jail for 10 fucking years. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| For social media posts. | ||
| So if you ever complain about America, I want you to pay attention to what the fuck is going on in the rest of the world. | ||
| Because this is going on in Iran right now. | ||
| They killed an Olympic wrestler recently because he was at a peaceful protest. | ||
| They executed him. | ||
| I mean, this guy was a stud wrestler. | ||
| And it was a huge deal. | ||
| The UFC Dana White made a plea to the Iranian government, asked him to not kill him. | ||
| They executed him anyway. | ||
| And then they just put this young lady in jail for 10 fucking years. | ||
| Corruption of young people and disrespect for the Islamic Republic. | ||
| I mean, it is crazy. | ||
| And this girl, she has mental health issues. | ||
| She's been hospitalized for them. | ||
| She's legitimately mentally ill. | ||
| And they put her in jail. | ||
| It's only going to make her worse. | ||
| And she got corona in jail. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| I'm not saying America's perfect, but it's the best thing we have. | ||
| I wonder what I would have gotten for punishment from Discovery. | ||
| Not that bad. | ||
| Not that bad. | ||
| But I know we went on a little tangent there, went down a dark road, but it's something that needs to be discussed because it's just so insane. | ||
| It is definitely a crazy world, but we still live in the greatest country in the world, so... | ||
| Yeah, it's not perfect, but it's the best fucking thing out there, kids. | ||
| Yeah, if we can get rid of California. | ||
| Well, this is the thing. | ||
| People in California are recognizing it. | ||
| California itself, it doesn't exist as everybody thought of it. | ||
| If you think of California a year ago, there was a thought that people had of California. | ||
| Oh, it's free-thinking people. | ||
| Yeah, it's expensive, but it's worth it. | ||
| The weather's awesome, and the people are cool as fuck, and it's really smart and really intelligent. | ||
| No. | ||
| The government's ruined it. | ||
| Literally, it's a case of now we know that if you have poor government, the government can ruin a state. | ||
| The way they handle a bad situation, the way Greg Abbott handled it in Texas is amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He did it perfectly. | ||
| I mean, they shut down for a little while, but they let businesses stay open. | ||
| And then they said, listen, we can't do this because we're going to lose businesses. | ||
| And so they let these businesses... | ||
| Everyone's struggling because they're still at a limited capacity and social distancing and restaurants. | ||
| People have to wear masks and stuff like that. | ||
| But they're open. | ||
| We're down. | ||
| We had to shut down pretty much across the board. | ||
| And I don't see recovery for us until spring, maybe, as far as catching back up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you were in California, you'd be fucked. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| You'd be really fucked. | ||
| They're completely locked down again right now, aren't they? | ||
| Yeah, you can't even go to eat outside. | ||
| There's a 10 p.m. | ||
| curfew in Los Angeles. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| There's no science behind it either. | ||
| There's no science that shows that if you get people to stay home after 10pm that there's less transmission. | ||
| There's no science. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| There's arbitrary decisions that are made by politicians. | ||
| And that's the minimum. | ||
| The outdoor dining thing is the most egregious. | ||
| Because you have all these people that spend so much money to try to convert their restaurants and make these outdoor dining expenses. | ||
| They spend thousands of dollars they didn't even fucking have. | ||
| They just wanted to stay open. | ||
| And then they just get shut down. | ||
| Did you see the lady the other day that was just crying because she put out the outdoor dining and then they set up production, movie production. | ||
| Right next door. | ||
| They're feeding people right next door to where her outdoor dining is shut down. | ||
| Yeah, it's shut down. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| Fucking insane. | ||
| I was pretty pissed off at that one because, you know, we shut down Gas Monkey Bar and Grill for the winter. | ||
| We're just hanging out, see what happens. | ||
| Now, how long have you had that restaurant? | ||
| It's been about seven years. | ||
| That's a challenging business. | ||
| Well, it's tourism. | ||
| The tourism, they come through and they want to see Gas Monkey, they want to see the restaurant, etc. | ||
| I'll tell you how shitty it really is. | ||
| I've got a business partner there that... | ||
| I'll keep my personal thoughts to myself, but let's just put it this way. | ||
| Has it been all business? | ||
| And we revoked the license to be Gas Monkey Bar and Grill over two years ago. | ||
| And he basically told me to pound sand and he left the sign up and he's been Gas Monkey Bar and Grill for the last two years without a license. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| How it works is I have to go through the courts then. | ||
| You know, we did it legitimately and Gas Monkey Bar and Grill does not have a license to use our name, but we then have to go through the court system. | ||
| We were about halfway through the court system and boom, Corona. | ||
| So now no courts because we're basically, the courts are closed right now. | ||
| So what percentage does that person own versus you? | ||
| He owns the majority percentage because he was the one putting in the money. | ||
| And he only had Gas Monkey Barn Grill for a certain amount of time. | ||
| He only had a license to operate under that name. | ||
| And from day one, it wasn't good for me at all. | ||
| And then when we revoked the license for not obeying all the rules in the contract and doing all the things that you're supposed to do and protect the brand and keep it an upstanding citizen and all that kind of shit. | ||
| He just said, I don't I don't believe this letter. | ||
| Take me to court. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| So much fun. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| I've done business with a lot of people over my life, and the two people that got me the best, as far as got over on me, were longtime friends. | ||
| One of our kids grew up together. | ||
| And this one that I'm particularly talking about was my next door neighbor for 12 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| You drop your guard sometimes to people you like. | ||
| That's part of the problem. | ||
| That is the problem. | ||
| But you live and you learn. | ||
| I mean, my life's great. | ||
| I've had friends that have tried to go to business with me and I put one hand on each shoulder and go, I like you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If I want to continue liking you, we're not going to go into business together. | ||
| We go into business. | ||
| First of all, I don't have enough time. | ||
| The reason why you want me to go into business with you as opposed to a regular real business person is because it seems like it will work. | ||
| Because we're friends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But generally, those don't work. | ||
| Like, if you want to start, like, the people that have good ideas for businesses, they need to get together with people that actually make businesses. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah, this was just, you know, it was a thing that we tried, and so I guess if I could tell the world's largest podcast. | ||
| If you're coming to Dallas and you want to hang out, go to the Gas Monkey Garage, skip the bar and grill experience. | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| It's confusing for people, but they're like, I love the show. | ||
| This is where I want to go support it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I want to support the show. | ||
| If you want to support the show, go to Gas Monkey Garage. | ||
| You guys own the Gas Monkey name, which is great because Fast and Loud is not Gas Monkey. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| But everybody knows Gas Monkey. | ||
| So you could do a show called Gas Monkey. | ||
| You could, but generally you don't want the, you know, it'd be like if, you know, The main star, Brad Pitt's in the movie, and it's called Brad Pitt. | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You usually name yourself something else and what's in the show, you leave it to be its own thing. | ||
| What kind of nonsense is that? | ||
| I do not know, but it's... | ||
| Gas Monkey. | ||
| It truly works that way. | ||
| Yeah, but it worked because you got a great name on top of Gas Monkey, fast and loud. | ||
| That's great, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But to have the two of them work symbiotically... | ||
| That's what we did. | ||
| But I think Gas Monkey's the way to go for the new show. | ||
| I think that's possible. | ||
| What else are you going to call it? | ||
| Got an idea? | ||
| Don't tell anybody. | ||
| Because we're on the internet. | ||
| I haven't even said if I'm going to be in the automotive field yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You're going to be in some other kind of field? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| I'm considering doing a genre jump. | ||
| Fitness? | ||
| No, it ain't going to be fitness. | ||
| Powerlifting. | ||
| Yeah, watch Richard's weight gain journey. | ||
| It's all about gymnastics. | ||
| No, I'm actually considering jumping to food. | ||
| Food? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| You want to do a food show? | ||
| I'm thinking about it. | ||
| Is this because of your experience with the grill, the bar and grill? | ||
| It's a little bit of that, but it's also... | ||
| I'm into food. | ||
| I'm a big chef at home, and... | ||
| What kind of shit do you cook? | ||
| I cook anything. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a big... | ||
| You know, you had my buddy, Matt Pittman, over here the other day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I bought a bunch of his stuff from Meat Church. | ||
| Shout out to Meat Church. | ||
| Shout out to Matt, for sure. | ||
| And so I've been practicing on my Traeger. | ||
| And, you know, so that thing's... | ||
| Really killer little instrument. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah, I love those things. | ||
| Yeah, and so I'm considering just kind of making the jump. | ||
| It'll still be a little bit of automotive, a little bit of food. | ||
| Think me, Guy Ferreri, and Anthony Bourdain all rolled up into one. | ||
| And what are you going to do? | ||
| Do you have a plan? | ||
| Frickin' roll around this. | ||
| Can you tell people? | ||
| I think I'm going to roll around this great nation, checking out stuff. | ||
| The juxtaposition with different cities and their cars is pretty interesting. | ||
| If you look at Say, Dallas and Houston. | ||
| The kind of 4x4 trucks that they drive in Houston, you know, somebody in Dallas would probably throw rocks at them, and vice versa. | ||
| It's just two different styles. | ||
| And then the kind that we're both known for, barbecue and... | ||
| Chili, if you will. | ||
| Or barbecue and Mexican food. | ||
| But two different ones. | ||
| They're close to the border. | ||
| A little bit different style, a little bit of everything. | ||
| That's only three hours away. | ||
| So imagine getting to tell the story of the town I'm in, why they're into what kind of car or trucks or motorcycles or whatever they're into, and then take a whiff on what their food is like compared to the rest of the world. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it's a little bit of a rod and culture, I call it. | ||
| Just a little bit of hot rod and a little bit of like traveling around. | ||
| Hanging out, checking out the best tacos and the best spaghetti joints and whatever. | ||
| So no more buying people's cars. | ||
| No, I'll always do that. | ||
| That's the fun. | ||
| Maybe we roll a little bit of that in, but Fast and Loud was very, very hard. | ||
| It was a hard show to make. | ||
| We were building those cars in 25, 30 days. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| The people that don't know how cars are built, they're built over a year. | ||
| A year is great. | ||
| If you can get someone to build you a car in a year, it's pretty amazing. | ||
| Yeah, well, we were building them in 25 days. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| As a matter of fact, there's one up that I challenged my guys to early spring, and they built a Chevy OBS short bed pickup truck in five, all the way down to the frame, all the way back up, paint, interior, motor, tranny, everything. | ||
| What kind of Adderall are you putting these people on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| I did good stuff. | ||
| But no, it was just a quick challenge that we decided to give them. | ||
| And they came through. | ||
| They built it in five flat days. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And then they take five days off and just sleep? | ||
| Yeah, they were worn out. | ||
| It was pretty cool though. | ||
| What does it look like? | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| If he hits up Gas Monkey OBS build. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Excuse me. | |
| I need to see this. | ||
| And it was completely functional when it was done? | ||
| Completely functional truck when I drove it in. | ||
| A stock truck with like 30,000 miles on it. | ||
| And completely functional doing donuts on Friday afternoon. | ||
| I took it in at Monday morning at 8 a.m. | ||
| And I told him I wanted it by Friday at beer time. | ||
| And by 5 o'clock, I was doing donuts in a bargain lot. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Took it all the way down to the frame. | ||
| All the way back up. | ||
| Paint, interior. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Big built motor, big built tranny, rear end, suspension. | ||
| How long did you plan for it? | ||
| It looks amazing, too. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| How much time did you plan for something like this? | ||
| You've got to have all your ducks in a row if you're going to do something like this, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What we really did was I took stock of everything that was in the shop and I ordered a couple of parts that we were missing. | ||
| And as soon as I knew I had everything, then I took them to the challenge. | ||
| They didn't know what I was doing. | ||
| I was kind of compiling all the stuff. | ||
| And how beat up was the truck before you brought it in? | ||
| Super, super nice. | ||
| Oh, so it wasn't too much ridiculous shit you had to do. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| So that's what it looked like. | ||
| Just a super stock sanitary. | ||
| Stock, regular, clean pickup truck. | ||
| Pulled in with all the parts and said, get it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, as a matter of fact, while they were building, I came down here to Texas Speed. | ||
| They're just in San Antonio, I believe, and got the motor. | ||
| Are you going to miss doing shit like that? | ||
| I don't think we're going to stop. | ||
| We still do it. | ||
| We're doing one right now. | ||
| Are you ready for this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| So you know my green Mustang that I drive all the time with the fog lights and everything from the Thomas Crown Affair. | ||
| I always said I'd never build one. | ||
| I'll never build anybody one. | ||
| I want to be the only guy with one, all that kind of stuff. | ||
| I got talked into it. | ||
| You're gonna love this one. | ||
| So it is for none other than the Lord himself, Scott Disick. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That guy talked you into making a Mustang? | ||
| Well, you know, if you look at it, he wanted it. | ||
| He had the money. | ||
| How drunk were you? | ||
| Hundreds of millions of followers. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of followers. | ||
| A lot of advertising there. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So I couldn't turn it down, but he seems like a pretty cool car guy. | ||
| I went to his house and met with him, and he's into a lot of different automobiles and what have you. | ||
| So I was like, okay, fine, I'll do it. | ||
| A lot of guys are into cars, but they're into new cars. | ||
| They're into flashy, new, show everybody how much money you got cars. | ||
| That's stupid to me. | ||
| Yeah, they don't know what they're looking at if they look at certain muscle cars. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| I find that offensive. | ||
| Yeah, you could literally pull up in a Shelby GT or whatever and park right next to the Lamborghini. | ||
| There's certain cars that even a lot of muscle heads don't really appreciate, like a 69 Torino. | ||
| That could be a cool car. | ||
| That could be a cool car. | ||
| Now I'll tell you what the meanest front end is the 72 Ranchero pickup. | ||
| What? | ||
| The meanest front end ever. | ||
| It has got just this aggressive ass front end. | ||
| The rest of the car falls on its face. | ||
| But it is aggressive. | ||
| It's interesting too because it's a 72. My rule of thumb is after 71 they can all eat shit. | ||
| Yeah, I would tend to agree with you. | ||
| Because in 73, they started having the extra long bumpers because they had to come in. | ||
| Again, look at that. | ||
| Look at that front end. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That is like, I am fixing to come down the road. | ||
| It looks like a carp. | ||
| Listen, pull up 71 Barracuda. | ||
| This is a real aggressive front end. | ||
| Everybody knows that car. | ||
| Not everybody. | ||
| There's a lot of losers out there. | ||
| 1971 Barracuda front end, in my opinion, is the most aggressive car front end in the history of muscle cars. | ||
| Well, that's what makes muscle cars so cool. | ||
| Everybody's got their opinion. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That's freaking sharp. | ||
| I've had a bunch of 71s. | ||
| Give me some other pictures. | ||
| I need to see one front on. | ||
| That white convertible right there. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Go back to that black one you just had there. | ||
| Make that big. | ||
| Now that's a good looking car. | ||
| Come the fuck on. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That grill's amazing. | ||
| I saw one guy, he took a 1970, put a 71 front end on. | ||
| I go, I see what you're doing, but don't do it. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You got to have the little gills. | ||
| You got to have all the stuff. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| He did the gills, too. | ||
| But I'm like, but it's not a 71, bro. | ||
| You got a 70. Yeah, but that white convertible right there that's the Hemicooter, that car's worth about $3 million. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If that's a real car. | ||
| That's a 340 car. | ||
| But there's a white on white... | ||
| Hemi-convertible. | ||
| And they made very few Hemi-convertibles. | ||
| I just don't understand the people that are... | ||
| 3.2. | ||
| What'd I tell you? | ||
| I know my numbers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, that's crazy. | |
| And that's not even corroborable. | ||
| And that drives like shit. | ||
| That's all stock. | ||
| Those are so heavy too, man. | ||
| With that hemi motor in there. | ||
| Oh, they're so heavy. | ||
| You want to go straight, but you don't want to be curbing. | ||
| It's all front end. | ||
| It's like, what, it's like 65% front end? | ||
| What is the real number in terms of the weight balance? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, hell. | |
| It's got to be 60-40. | ||
| With a giant hemi? | ||
| It's probably close. | ||
| I would say 6040 would be my guess. | ||
| That's terrible for handling. | ||
| Well, it's like the Boss 9 Mustangs. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| You know, Bill Goldberg's got the lawman down there in his collection just outside of Austin here. | ||
| And that car, me and Dennis used to take it when we owned it to like Whataburger for breakfast, you know, at the office. | ||
| And we would literally pop wheelies going down 544. Just... | ||
| Yeah, they're so bad at handling. | ||
| That was another car that John Wick had. | ||
| John Wick's car, the car that they stole when they killed his dog and sent him on that killing spree. | ||
| He had a 69, it wasn't a Mach 1. Was it a 429? | ||
| It might have been a Boss 9 Mustang. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He'd have to look that up, too. | ||
| 69. This is the coolest gig, by the way, having this guy right here, because if you just kind of stagger for a minute, he's going to feed you the answer real fast. | ||
| I need him in real life. | ||
| There's times in real life where I turn and I'm like, oh, Jamie's not here. | ||
| Like at the grocery aisle? | ||
| Jamie's like half of my memory now. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Well, that's not really his car, though. | ||
| What that is, is that it's Classic Recreations. | ||
| That's that company out of Oklahoma that does those. | ||
| Yeah, that's the real car. | ||
| I think that's a 429, right? | ||
| That's a 69 for sure. | ||
| I think that, I'd have to text my buddy, but I think Classic did my Mustang. | ||
| Well, they do amazing Mustangs. | ||
| They do... | ||
| Go to Classic Recreations' all-carbon-fiber 69 Mustang. | ||
| Oh, it wouldn't be these guys. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Classic Recreations out of Oklahoma now does an all-carbon-fiber Mustang, and it looks fucking insane. | ||
| It's all-carbon-fiber. | ||
| I've got a 65K code that I put a Hilborn injection setup on and a punched-out small block and a six-speed hidden in there that looks like the little three-speed and... | ||
| It's a pretty wicked little car. | ||
| Black and red. | ||
| Oh, so you kept like the three-speed knob? | ||
| The little bitty stick, too. | ||
| You know how small those little sticks are and everything? | ||
| Why didn't you do that? | ||
| Because I just, I wanted a sleeper. | ||
| I ran... | ||
| Come on, look at that. | ||
| That's a 68. Is it a 68? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| All carbon fiber. | ||
| It's probably light as fuck. | ||
| You could pick that up. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| You know, have you seen some of the stuff that they're getting where they can weave that carbon fiber into patterns now? | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| I mean, they can do your logo in it. | ||
| Yeah, they could. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, that's such a light car. | ||
| So all the problems that people had with heavy sheet metal in terms of the weight balance and everything, you can all get rid of all that. | ||
| Oh, you can lose all of it. | ||
| Do you fuck around with any of the newer muscle cars? | ||
| You can't even call the new Corvette a muscle car anymore now. | ||
| Now it's a mid-engine supercar. | ||
| I would tend to say it's a supercar. | ||
| I mean, it's basically a 488 Ferrari, is what it is. | ||
| And the fucking acceleration is so insane for the money and for the handling. | ||
| Oh, for $100,000, it's the best car you can buy. | ||
| You can get them under $100,000. | ||
| I mean, you can get a brand new 2020 Corvette for... | ||
| What is a retail? | ||
| I gotta say it's like $70-something. | ||
| Well, by the time you... | ||
| By the time you add all the stuff, you're going to be approaching 90. Well, that's a Z06, Jamie. | ||
| That's a 2019. That's a front-engine car. | ||
| That's a different car. | ||
| No, don't go Z06. Just go 2020 Corvette price. | ||
| I think it's a little bit less. | ||
| Look at that, 66. Yeah, that's what's crazy. | ||
| It's faster than the Z06, but it does have big power. | ||
| It has 490 horsepower, and for what you're getting with that mid-engine setup, the fucking acceleration, 0-60, 2.8 seconds. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But it's still a Corvette. | ||
| I mean, you've got to wear a gold medallion and clear the school zone. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| I'm not scared. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not scared to drive a Corvette. | |
| It's just, I don't know where the stigma started with the Corvette, but it has stayed. | ||
| Jamie's friend was shitting all over Tony Hinchcliffe's Corvette the other night. | ||
| Jamie has his friend, and she was shitting all over Tony's Corvette. | ||
| And I was like, you're out of your mind, lady. | ||
| You're a woman. | ||
| But I mean, my wife's got a 488 convertible, and it's basically the same car. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| But it's 250 grand more. | ||
| Yeah, difference. | ||
| Giant difference in price. | ||
| But that fucking car handles spectacularly. | ||
| And the interior is amazing. | ||
| I mean, the new Corvette is... | ||
| I think it's a masterpiece. | ||
| I think they knocked it out of the park. | ||
| The only one that I don't like on the new one is they came out... | ||
| See if you can find the hideous yellow one. | ||
| It literally looks like... | ||
| Well, what car looks good in yellow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| None, as far as I'm concerned. | ||
|
unidentified
|
None. | |
| It's a ridiculous color. | ||
| You gotta be an asshole or Guy Fieri. | ||
| That guy has all of his cars in yellow. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| I did not know that, and I know Guy Fieri. | ||
| His cars are yellow? | ||
| Oh yeah, all of them. | ||
| Look at that color. | ||
| It's so horrible. | ||
| A friend of mine has this car. | ||
| I won't name him right now. | ||
| I know he's got the red Camaro on his show. | ||
| Bro, all of his cars are yellow. | ||
| He's got like a hundred yellow cars. | ||
| It's the grossest thing you've ever seen in your life. | ||
| Look, those are all his cars. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here, guy. | ||
| See, there's a guy that... | ||
| First of all, he's got a 72 Chevelle, which is like the grossest year ever. | ||
| Obviously, he had better management than I did. | ||
| Might be a 71. Might be a 71 Chevelle. | ||
| 71 with the single headlights. | ||
| I don't know what they did with 71, but they made it gross. | ||
| Oh, he's in one red car. | ||
| Well, that's the one he uses on his show. | ||
| Yeah, but that's because he knows the other ones are gross. | ||
| Go to that picture again with all of the yellow cars. | ||
| Come on, guy. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| He's got like, what is that, a fourth generation Corvette? | ||
| Yeah, he's got an older Corvette, looks like a 2000-ish Corvette. | ||
| He's got a Jeep. | ||
| He's got a ZL1, it looks like, in the back. | ||
| It basically looks like a collection of $20,000 high-rods. | ||
| Yeah, but they look gross. | ||
| Like, the yellow... | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| Why would he do that? | ||
| I will bust his chops next time I see him, because I had no idea that he collected yellow cars. | ||
| He's got a whole fucking... | ||
| What is this? | ||
| That's a Ferrari guy. | ||
| This asshole has all... | ||
| His Ferraris are yellow. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| If you were colorblind, it'd be awesome. | ||
| Who gives a shit what color it is? | ||
| Let's roll. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| My buddy showed up with his yellow Corvette at some party, and we all just died laughing. | ||
| Yeah, way to go. | ||
| If you're like a Corvette dealer, and you're ordering a bunch of different cars to sell on your lot, like yellow, you're assuming someone's getting a wrap. | ||
| Well, either that or you're just ordering one, because like I say in the car business, there's an ass for every seat. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Right, there's always some crazy person. | ||
| Some crazy person that prefers a gross color. | ||
| But yellow is like universally the grossest. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then red is the riskiest. | ||
| Because if you're like not more risky than yellow but next risky. | ||
| Because of like red you have more of a chance to look like a douchebag. | ||
| If you have a red Ferrari you look like more of a douchebag than if you have a black Ferrari. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| Yeah, I'm not a red car fan. | ||
| Every car I buy is black, except for when you get into the older cars. | ||
| Now, I do like to have fun with the reds and the blues when you get into the muscle cars, because they made some sick colors back then, and you could mess with them, put the stripes on them, and things like that. | ||
| But none of them look better. | ||
| Well, a 70 Chevelle... | ||
| Red with black stripes looks pretty dope. | ||
| Tom Cruise had one of those in Jack Reacher. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| That was pretty dope. | ||
| That's the Mustang. | ||
| That's the 69 Boss 429. Yeah, that's the car. | ||
| That's the car they stole when they killed his dog and sent him on a murder spree. | ||
| He must have liked that dog. | ||
| Well, it was a little puppy and it reminded him of his wife who just died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Come on, bro. | ||
| It's John Wick. | ||
| It's an American movie. | ||
| But that's a pretty dope car, too. | ||
| Yeah, but you know, definitely not yellow for anything. | ||
| I don't understand the yellow cars. | ||
| It's like, I guess it's a really, really, I really, really want you to look at me car. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, I just know my buddy that bought the yellow Vette right now is just cringing. | ||
| Yeah, sorry bro. | ||
| Get a wrap on that shitbox. | ||
| Sorry about your manhood. | ||
| Does he have a new Vette? | ||
| Brand new one in that ugly color I just showed you. | ||
| Wow, why would he do that? | ||
| Maybe he was on the lot and he was drunk. | ||
| No, he ordered it. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| This is coming from a man who has a red podcast studio. | ||
| Yeah, what is the story with this studio? | ||
| You were starting to tell me when we walked in. | ||
| I feel like I'm inside a can of V8. Yeah, so this is the story. | ||
| We had literally five weeks from the time I said I'm getting the fuck out of California to airing Okay. | ||
| Live on the internet. | ||
| And it was actually the premiere of it being on Spotify as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| So it was a lot of shit going on. | ||
| And it was real risky. | ||
| But I was like, I don't care. | ||
| I want to get out of California. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| And I got this place. | ||
| And it was in this particular curvature, this curved shape, because it was a conference room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so I took this conference room and then I hired Matt Alvarez who came in and did all this shit and put the sound deadening in and then I said, and then we got these wall panels and I was like, what color can we get them? | ||
| Because the wall panels are actually like these sound like acoustic panels to absorb the echo and everything to make the sound better in the room. | ||
| So these have a reason. | ||
| Yeah, so there's a color patterns to them. | ||
| You can get different kind of, like, these patterns were custom, and then the colors are custom, like you order them. | ||
| And so I said, that's what it originally looked like. | ||
| And so I said, red and black would be kind of dope. | ||
| And then once we did the red and black, like, what color walls? | ||
| I'm like, let's make this whole motherfucker red. | ||
| Let's get crazy. | ||
| And so that's what we went with. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Just for the fuck of it. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| You can always change it, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, I got plans. | ||
| I can't talk about it on the air because I don't want people to know what I'm doing. | ||
| But I got a lot of other things happening. | ||
| That's very cool. | ||
| I do too, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's fun to have things happening. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I'm actually enjoying life for once in a while. | ||
| It's been a little while when I was getting beat down pretty much. | ||
| Now I'm ready to be back up on top and have some fun. | ||
| You had a lot of transitions, right? | ||
| Like the show, and then the bar and grill, and then, you know. | ||
| Yeah, but it's great to be back on top and doing what you want to do. | ||
| Got me a new wife out there. | ||
| You met her. | ||
| You did well. | ||
| Thumbs up. | ||
| Way above my league, sir. | ||
| Way above. | ||
| Don't ask questions. | ||
| Just keep moving. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| She's phenomenal and beautiful. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| I didn't wait very long. | ||
| All these things are good. | ||
| So you have a few bad things and a few good things. | ||
| I like a few bad things. | ||
| Because a few bad things make me appreciate a few good things. | ||
| Yeah, and also get you focused on fixing that shit. | ||
| Because if everything is good, what are you, a king? | ||
| What are you, lying down getting fed grapes? | ||
| You're gonna get soft, bitch. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You need a little struggle. | ||
| You need a little problem in your life. | ||
| You can't just be rolling through life on clouds. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| No. | ||
| I prefer a little adversity in my life. | ||
| I actually enjoy it. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I like pot so much. | ||
| Because even if your life is going great, you get really high as fuck, you get paranoid, and you think everything's gonna, oh my god, the world's gonna end. | ||
| And then you come out of it and you're okay. | ||
| It makes you appreciate peace. | ||
| See, not me. | ||
| I usually just go to sleep. | ||
| I don't have time to get to that paranoia state. | ||
| I haven't found the right stuff yet. | ||
| No, we got the right stuff. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| You killed me last time. | ||
| I'll just wait on that for a second and get a few more beers in me. | ||
| Don't get scared, bro. | ||
| I'm never scared. | ||
| Don't get scared. | ||
| We're drinking. | ||
| Shout out to my brother Ron White. | ||
| This right here is number one. | ||
| My man's got his own tequila company. | ||
| Last time we were here, we drank your shit. | ||
| Yeah, we did. | ||
| We drank the fuck out of it. | ||
| I kind of stumped my toe on that. | ||
| That was an amazing, spectacular failure. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| It sold so fast, and it was approved in so many states so quick, and I had no idea what the business was. | ||
| So I just stumped my toe with pricing, and I stumped my toe with delivery, and So I just kind of backed off and it's kind of sitting dormant while I take care of business this year and then I'm going to relaunch it. | ||
| Well, come on back when you're relaunching it. | ||
| Let's get fucked up on it again. | ||
| I was going to bring you a bottle, but there's literally none. | ||
| I can't find a bottle anywhere in the United States. | ||
| I've called people and like, hey, if you've got one on your shelf, send it to me. | ||
| I'll pay you for it. | ||
| We might have a half a bottle in LA at the old studio. | ||
| No, we finished that. | ||
| I think you gave me another one though. | ||
| Oh yeah, that might happen. | ||
| Is there a second bottle? | ||
| I remember seeing something sitting around somewhere that we left in case he came back or whatever. | ||
| They were like, leave that shit here. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| We get booze from weird places. | ||
| So I've got this list of stuff here. | ||
| Oh, you got the notes. | ||
| Well, I asked the people out there. | ||
| This is from Terry Virts, an astronaut that spent 200 days in space. | ||
| He gave me some fantastic single malt scotch. | ||
| I wish I knew what that means. | ||
| Sounds good when I say single malt. | ||
| I don't know what it means. | ||
| I don't know what it means either. | ||
| I've got what's called a super set of Pappy Van Winkle or something, and I don't know what that means. | ||
| I don't know how to say it properly. | ||
| Only thing it'd be cooler is if he took it to space with him and brought it back. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Space whiskey. | ||
| And it would give you some sort of space bug. | ||
| So what's the notes, man? | ||
| What do you got there? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| You know, what's going on? | ||
| We've been covering a lot of this stuff. | ||
| Just natural. | ||
| That's how I like to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that was one that I noticed on the way up here because I was doing some research on podcasts and what have you. | ||
| Why in the hell is everybody obsessed with these true crime podcasts? | ||
| Oh, it's ladies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ladies love them. | ||
| These ladies are all learning how to kill us, sir. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| You got snapped. | ||
| You got all this stuff. | ||
| They're confused and they want to know why men are such murderous cunts. | ||
| And so they watch these true crime podcasts and they watch those shows on A&E. You know, those mystery, like, who did it? | ||
| Yeah, the 2020 stuff. | ||
| Yeah, that's what that is. | ||
| That's my take on it, is that women, the reason why women are into it more than men is because they don't technically understand violence the way men do. | ||
| And so they just kind of like, they go, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| And probably they're vulnerable, so they're thinking about it all the time. | ||
| No, I think the problem, like with that Snapped, it's about women that get all crazy and kill their husband. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For that, they're excited. | ||
| They're like, yeah, we're going to get him. | ||
| Yeah, I don't need that in my life. | ||
| That's the same reason why chicks like Wonder Woman. | ||
| They want to believe. | ||
| There's a whole island. | ||
| Yeah, you know, you come home and your wife's watching snaps for the 300th time that year. | ||
| You might want to sleep in another room. | ||
| Well, you might want to be nicer to her. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Well, that's true, too. | ||
| Taking care of the problem at its root cause. | ||
| If she's your wife, it means at one point in time you must have loved each other. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Just trying to figure out where it went wrong, Richard. | ||
| Where'd it go south? | ||
| Well, it's like they say, no matter who she is or what she is, somebody somewhere's sick of her shit. | ||
| They say that, but the guys who say that are usually losers. | ||
| Oh, well, I'm saying they say that. | ||
| They, not you and I. They, not me and you. | ||
| I just think that for women, like those crime shows are like, it's almost like a It's like a way of understanding, or a way of being prepared. | ||
| Maybe they feel a little vulnerable. | ||
| Oh, now's the time when I'm supposed to go ahead and get in the suitcase. | ||
| Can you imagine if you're a woman, just imagine for a moment, every guy you date could kill you. | ||
| Imagine if you dated women and all the women you dated were 7 feet tall, black belts in jiu-jitsu, and real angry, and they wanted to kill you. | ||
| They wanted to fuck you, but they could kill you. | ||
| That would be a terrible point. | ||
| Most women, that's their reality. | ||
| Yeah, but every woman that you've dated or that you date, the guys out there, it could be Lorena Bobbitt. | ||
| That's true, too. | ||
| Doesn't take too much when you're knocked out. | ||
| Was John Bobbitt so much of a cunt that Lorena Bobbitt wanted to chop his dick off? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| At one point in time, she didn't chop his dick off. | ||
| So what went wrong? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| She didn't chop that shit off on consummation night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Something happened. | ||
| I'm not forgiving her. | ||
| But remember, that was like, women love that one. | ||
| That was a fun one for women. | ||
| Yeah, chop it off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I took all the scissors out of my house. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| It's more than scissors. | ||
| Knives, box cutters. | ||
| There's a lot of ways they could do it. | ||
| But it is weird that predominantly women like those true crime shows. | ||
| I wonder what a psychologist would think, not a moron like me, but an actual psychologist that really understands what drives people. | ||
| I don't know if you remember this, but back in the earlier 2000s, there was a young model lady. | ||
| She would be the equivalent of an influencer now, but you didn't really have as much social media back then. | ||
| She got whacked by her boyfriend, and he put her in a suitcase. | ||
| And then he went on up to Canada or somewhere and ended up killing himself. | ||
| Well, I get a call. | ||
| Of course, I'm shopping my show. | ||
| I'm starting to get a little bit of notoriety in Hollywood, stuff like that. | ||
| And they're like, you're on the news. | ||
| And I'm like, what do you mean? | ||
| They're like, did you kill that chick? | ||
| So one of the newscasts in TMZ, I think it was also the only picture they found of this girl was at some event that I was at and I got my picture with her. | ||
| So the first picture to go out of that whole story was me and her. | ||
| And I'm like, shit! | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Oh, that's horrible. | ||
| So they quickly found out that it wasn't me, I don't think. | ||
| Quickly? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was pretty rough there for a minute. | ||
| There was another influencer woman who got murdered recently. | ||
| Yeah, here in Texas. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It was up in Frisco, wasn't it? | ||
| Up by me in Dallas. | ||
| I don't know what part of Texas, but I remember seeing it on the news. | ||
| Beautiful girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do they know? | ||
| They don't know yet. | ||
| I just read about that yesterday, and they haven't released what they know. | ||
| That's a weird world when you're one of those girls who puts yourself out there on the internet and you never know what psycho is going to get obsessed with you based on your pictures. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of fucked up dudes out there. | ||
| There's a lot of fucked up ladies. | ||
| I've got a lady, you know, I'm sure you do too with the fans out there. | ||
| I've got one that has literally been having a... | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm not going to mix it up with tequila. | ||
| Why are you scared? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| I'm never scared. | ||
| Sounds like you're scared. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Okay, so I've got a lady that has had a one-way conversation with Richard Rawlings, if you will, on social media for eight years, six years, however long it's been going. | ||
| She talks to us every day like, hey, I just took a shower, honey. | ||
| I'm going to get some groceries and stop by my dad's place. | ||
| And every day it's tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of text messages. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And we have to place it over here, you know, and keep track of it to make sure if there's ever a problem. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| I've stockpiled all the ammo necessary for my task. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My suicide vest has been prepared. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This one's a little scary, but what do you do? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| You can't do anything until they do something. | ||
| That's serious, right? | ||
| That's got a serious freaking strong smell to it. | ||
| Yeah, it's peaty, as you said. | ||
| See, I don't understand my whiskeys because I don't ever drink them. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what single malt means. | ||
| I say it, like, oh, single malt, nice. | ||
| That's where you go, James, tell me what single malt means. | ||
| It's like if someone says, you know, oh, it's a fucking eight-cylinder four-barrel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, four-barrel. | |
| I don't know if that's supposed to be good for you. | ||
| Oh, that is stout. | ||
| Good for you? | ||
| No, it's not good for you. | ||
| This is all about... | ||
| This is Irish, you know? | ||
| Is it Irish or Scotch? | ||
| Scotch. | ||
| Irish. | ||
| Ireland. | ||
| It's not necessarily good for you. | ||
| It's about bad decision-making and fun. | ||
| If it weren't for whiskey, Irish would rule the world, is what they used to say. | ||
| They might be right, you know? | ||
| See guys like Conor McGregor. | ||
| Scotch is from Scotland? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What is scotch? | ||
| It's good though, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's an acquired taste for me. | ||
| I'll acquire it. | ||
| There's some acquired tastes that are weird, like caviar. | ||
| So, did you buy a big place here? | ||
| I bought a place. | ||
| Like a ranch? | ||
| I mean, because I know Bill Goldberg moved out there and bought a big ranch. | ||
| That is the plan. | ||
| The plan is to ultimately... | ||
| I got a crazy plan. | ||
| The plan is to have a place that's completely self-sufficient. | ||
| Like a hunting ranch. | ||
| Windmill turbines and all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The whole deal. | |
| Solar power. | ||
| The whole deal. | ||
| Your own water. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Water, animals, vegetables, food, and then room for friends in case the shit hits the fan. | ||
| When the shit hit the fan in LA, it opened my eyes. | ||
| And it didn't really hit the fan. | ||
| The grocery stores were still open. | ||
| The supply chain was still functional. | ||
| But I realized that it didn't have to be that way. | ||
| And that we got really lucky. | ||
| And I was really lucky because I hunt. | ||
| So I had a couple commercial freezers on my property that were filled with frozen food. | ||
| So I had literally enough meat to feed my family for a year. | ||
| That's rad. | ||
| I was good. | ||
| But there was a real concern that the world would get so bad that the supply chain would fall apart, and then I'd have to start feeding my friends. | ||
| So then I started thinking, okay, well I have resources, right? | ||
| So if I have resources, what would be a wise use of those resources? | ||
| Other than... | ||
| Try to get as many cool people on the podcast and spread as much fun and enjoyment and spread a good vibe out there to the world. | ||
| The other thought was I should probably have somewhere where all the people that I love can exist and survive. | ||
| So do I get like a golden ticket if it all goes to hell? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah, bro. | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I need a couple thousand acres. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| The move is a couple thousand acres with enough animals that you could exist. | ||
| And, you know, like I was reading about Neil Young. | ||
| Neil Young had, I think he had an issue recently. | ||
| Do you have a stroke or something like that? | ||
| Am I making that up? | ||
| But Neil Young had a, he's got a giant ranch, and he makes his own fuel for his vehicles. | ||
| He makes biodiesel with plants. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you can make your own fuel. | ||
| You can make your own ethanol with corn. | ||
| There's ways you can make your own fuel for your, you can be completely self-sustainable. | ||
| We're going to see you on an episode of that show. | ||
| Preppers? | ||
| Preppers, yeah. | ||
| I'm not a prepper, but I watch those shows. | ||
| The problem with those guys is they're just jumping the gun a little. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is not that they don't have valid concerns. | ||
| The problem is they're jumping the gun. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| When everything's great, you can just go to a restaurant and order a steak, and you can go to a supermarket and buy lettuce and asparagus and have a nice salad, and you can eat well, and you're okay. | ||
| Why are you fucking canning pears? | ||
| Yeah, that stuff sucks. | ||
| If you want a ranch, I saw one that just went up for sale up in the northwest portion of Texas here. | ||
| Large, large ranch, though. | ||
| 225 square miles. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| It is ridiculous. | ||
| It's first time anything like that's gone up for sale. | ||
| See, if something like that goes up for sale, you can get all your friends to come down. | ||
| Well, I think you've got to get your friends to join in and run it like a business. | ||
| I mean, you're talking about $150 million, but it's 225 square miles. | ||
| That's a little too big, because you don't know who the fuck is coming in. | ||
| When you have that many miles, you're going to have to have so much security. | ||
| You want a little bit less than that. | ||
| But the thing is, if you had a place where all the people you care about could coexist... | ||
| People look at the way the world is right now, as bad as 2020 was, and they go, wow, this is the worst thing I've ever seen. | ||
| But that's just because people don't live that long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People live these little tiny little short lives, these little blips. | |
| Correct. | ||
| And they seem long because it's, you know, your alarm clock goes off, you're like, ah, fuck, I don't want to get up. | ||
| Or you have debt, or you have this, or you have that, or you're going through a divorce, or you're going through a thing with your business and you're fucking in court and it seems long. | ||
| But it's not long. | ||
| The world is long. | ||
| The universe is long. | ||
| Life is very short. | ||
| But during your life, you get an inaccurate view of what's possible. | ||
| And your inaccurate view is based on what you've experienced during your lifetime. | ||
| People that have never experienced violence have a very distorted perception of what's possible. | ||
| You talk to soldiers, you talk to people that have deployed, you talk to specifically spec ops guys, they've seen some wild shit, they have a whole different world in terms of what they view than you do, than I do. | ||
| And I feel like we got a taste of what's possible with 2020. And I think that things can go way more sideways. | ||
| Way more sideways. | ||
| To the point where, you know, during World War II, some untold number of people in the Soviet Union starved to death under Stalin. | ||
| Starved to death. | ||
| Like, that is not that long ago. | ||
| That's less than 100 years ago. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Like, all this could happen again. | ||
| And all it would take is for things to keep sliding. | ||
| Keep sliding sideways. | ||
| Keep going bad. | ||
| And then the power grid goes down because of a solar flare. | ||
| And then there's an attack by China that kills everyone in Chicago. | ||
| And then you're fucked. | ||
| And then you don't know where your food's coming from. | ||
| You don't know where your water's coming from. | ||
| And you want to be prepared. | ||
| But you don't want to be a... | ||
| The problem is those preppers, they're just a little too paranoid. | ||
| And they fuck it up for everybody else. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's why you can't buy bullets right now. | ||
| You can't buy bullets right now. | ||
| People need to know this. | ||
| People out there that don't own guns... | ||
| First of all, gun ownership radically increased in 2020. Correct. | ||
| And gun purchases went up, and then bullet purchases went up. | ||
| And they're hoarding them all. | ||
| I mean, they can't even make them fast enough. | ||
| I mean, you're talking to a guy who got shot in 92. How'd you get shot? | ||
| Ah, fucking carjacking. | ||
| Yeah, I was a police officer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where'd you get shot? | |
| Show me your arm. | ||
| Came in back here on my shoulder and came out down here. | ||
| You were a police officer back then? | ||
| Dude, I was a police officer, firefighter, and paramedic before I was old enough to drink. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| A little bit of an overachiever. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| How did you get involved in that? | ||
| How old were you when you joined the force? | ||
| I went into the police academy in 18. You could be a cop at 18. I got my certification when I was 19. That is crazy. | ||
| When were you on the force pulling people over? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Late 19. That is so crazy. | |
| Yeah, I spent some time in a little suburb of Dallas called Alvarado, and then I ended up at the Tarrant County Constable's office. | ||
| And then I ended up getting hired on by a city up there at Coppell, and they put me through the fire academy and medic school. | ||
| And so that's what I did until I was like 27-ish, 26. So how old were you when you got shot? | ||
| 92, so I guess I was 22. So you were 22, and you were stopping at carjacking? | ||
| No. | ||
| I actually had been out that night with a buddy of mine, and he got lucky. | ||
| Went home with some chick. | ||
| So I did not. | ||
| I was going through the Waterburger drive-thru, and a couple of guys came up and got me from behind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of car? | ||
| 65 Mustang Fastback. | ||
| Gold on gold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm. | |
| It was a nice car. | ||
| Nice car. | ||
| So you had good taste even back then. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was always flipping and buying cars all through school. | ||
| As a matter of fact, I graduated high school. | ||
| I started my driver's license when I was 16 with a $250.76 Impala and finished high school two and a half years later or two years later with a Bandit Trans Am, four-speed, T-topped, red on black with the big gold bird. | ||
| Dude, I know we talked about it last time you were here, but that was one of the saddest episodes of your show when you had Burt Reynolds sign that Trans Am and he couldn't even walk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It made me think, like, Father Time is a motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, that guy... | ||
| He did all those stunts. | ||
| He beat himself up. | ||
| And he played football, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Played football before he was ever an actor and did a lot of stunts. | ||
| Super nicest guy I've ever worked with. | ||
| If you'd have told me when I was a kid driving around my band at Trans Am that I'd get to work with Burt Reynolds, I'd have been like, when, where, how? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And so, I mean, my lovely wife asked me, she's like, what are you really proud of? | ||
| And I'm like, well, I got a Hot Wheel. | ||
| Actually, I have two. | ||
| And I got to film with Burt Reynolds. | ||
| I'm like, good enough. | ||
| And I had Motley Crue play my bar. | ||
| So for an 80s kid, I'm done. | ||
| You had Motley Crue play at the Gas Monkey Bar and Grill? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they came for a big deal. | ||
| The full Motley Crue? | ||
| The full deal. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Played my bar for a private party of about 4,000 people. | ||
| It was a Dodge event. | ||
| Dana White, who's the president of the UFC, when he was 40, his 40th birthday, they hired Stone Temple pilots to do... | ||
| I believe it was his wife who set everything up, but it was a surprise party. | ||
| And they hired Stone Temple pilots to be at his birthday party and perform. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| And there wasn't, but I don't know, I'm guessing... | ||
| Less than 100 people. | ||
| Those motherfuckers rocked that place like it was a 30,000 seat stadium filled with people. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Is this at my bar? | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Gas Monkey Live, Dallas, Texas. | ||
| So check this out. | ||
| Look at Tommy Lee going off. | ||
| It was the first time they had played a small bar in like a few decades, right? | ||
| And they all showed up kind of pissy. | ||
| And they were all like, well, you know, and my acoustics in that bar are so perfect. | ||
| The stage is five feet off the ground, but it's solid concrete. | ||
| So it's just throwing the sound. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And they were supposed to play... | ||
| I don't know, like 35, 40 minutes, and they ended up playing like an hour and a half. | ||
| And they said afterwards, they were like, holy shit, this is freaking riot. | ||
| And the other thing was it was a Mopar event with Dodge. | ||
| And so to get in, to get a ticket to be there, you had to drive your Mopar to the event. | ||
| So I had like 3,000 freaking Mopars out in the parking lot. | ||
| Dude, shout out to Dodge for fucking stepping the horsepower wars up to 10. Hell yeah. | ||
| When they came out with the Hellcat, they were like, let's stop fucking around. | ||
| Let's get this bitch up to 700 horsepower. | ||
| That's like an auction. | ||
| You know, like, hey, do I hear 100? | ||
| Do I hear 100? | ||
| Do I hear 100? | ||
| And someone goes, 300, bitch! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| And things get crazy. | ||
| Dodge jacked that fucking Hellcat. | ||
| They did two things that are perfect. | ||
| They got the demon out there now at 800. Yes, crazy. | ||
| They did two things that were perfect, though. | ||
| One is... | ||
| They came out with a shape that was both modern and reminiscent of classic. | ||
| They nailed that. | ||
| Yeah, they nailed that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nailed it. | |
| I used that car before it came out in my 2014 Comedy Central special. | ||
| Yeah, look. | ||
| That's some of the guys in the band driving right there doing donuts. | ||
| They pull up and they all fold donuts. | ||
| You had to have a Mopar. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Jamie, find a picture of me. | ||
| There's a picture of me posing like an Instagram hoe on a... | ||
| This is 2014. This is before the Hellcat was even released. | ||
| Shout out to Matt Farah from The Smoking Tire. | ||
| Oh, I know Matt. | ||
| He's a cool cat. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| He hooked it up for me. | ||
| He got me connected with them, and they delivered it to Denver, where I was filming this Comedy Central special. | ||
| I had this whole thing about being too high before the show. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Holy shit, that does not look like you. | ||
| Who does it look like me? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I'm making a ridiculous face. | ||
| That is a ridiculous face. | ||
| You know, I did all the commercials for that when they rolled it out from 2014 or 15 when it came out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For three or four years there, I did all the Challenger and Charger commercials. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Oh, pull up, look up Rawlings Dodge Law, L-A-W. So this was like two years into Fast and Lound. | ||
| About three. | ||
| Three years. | ||
| Yeah, but I was their pitchman for that whole rollout. | ||
| So I have... | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| I'll tell you a story about a fucking car that needs to be written. | ||
| This could be a novel. | ||
| I have Hellcat No. | ||
| 2 ever produced. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| Look at these Dodge Law commercials. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So... | ||
| What is with the animated monkey? | ||
| Oh, he's animated. | ||
| I'm pulling odor for doing non-manly things at a Dodge, like eating a croissant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| Put the croissant down. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's toxic masculinity. | ||
| So I have Hellcat No. | ||
| 2. Serial No. | ||
| 2. And it came from the factory with some really kind of jacked up things about it. | ||
| One door panel is suede, one's leather. | ||
| You know, just weird stuff like that. | ||
| The car's been stolen. | ||
| While it was stolen, well actually I wrecked it, and then after that it was stolen. | ||
| And while it was stolen it was gone for nine months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And I got paid off by the insurance company and everything. | ||
| And then somebody called me and says, hey, I'm a repo guy and I'm looking at your Dodge right now. | ||
| It's sitting in this parking lot. | ||
| So I went over there and stole it back. | ||
| And they were using it as a drug drop car. | ||
| So it was like right next to this interstate trucking company through a row of hedges. | ||
| And from what we could tell is the truck drivers would come in with a big old bag of weed and put it in the trunk of the car, take their payment and roll away. | ||
| And the car itself had all these cameras on it facing it so they could see when the weed got dropped and then they'd go pick it up. | ||
| So I got a custom Texas tag on it now. | ||
| It says GMG Mule. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the gas monkey mule. | |
| And so then while it was stolen, we find out later on after I steal it back, I literally went with the trailer and put it on there and took it and ended up making a deal with the insurance company and got to keep it. | ||
| Then a guy releases a video. | ||
| Some local rapper guy made his rap video inside my car while it's stolen. | ||
| No! | ||
| You know, with the weed smoke and flapping the $100 bills and doing donuts and stuff. | ||
| In your car? | ||
| In my car while it's stolen. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Dude, what a life you've led. | ||
| Well, the car has led. | ||
| So that's one of the ones... | ||
| Yeah, but it falls in line with your life. | ||
| Yeah, so it's one that I might not get rid of. | ||
| I might have to keep that one. | ||
| Oh, you have to keep it. | ||
| You have to keep it. | ||
| Now, did you not have a GPS tracking on it or anything? | ||
| Oh, they can turn that shit off. | ||
| The second they get into the car, they pull the interface and you're gone. | ||
| But isn't there a way to like... | ||
| There's secondary like low jacks or whatever, but I didn't have that. | ||
| You know... | ||
| Didn't have any of that. | ||
| What's the best one of those? | ||
| Of what? | ||
| Low jack type deals. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| That just seems like a wise thing to have. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it gets stolen and if you're smart, you're going to get better money from the insurance and it's worth it anyways. | ||
| But is it a money thing with some cars? | ||
| Some cars you want to keep them. | ||
| Well, there's truth to that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if my 65 Corvette got stolen, I'd be very bummed out. | ||
| Very bummed out. | ||
| I don't think I'd be able to handle that very well. | ||
| I need something on that car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| That'd be me and my green Mustang. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's certain cars that are just like... | ||
| They're more than just a car. | ||
| It's like I've experienced... | ||
| I used to... | ||
| Whenever I wanted to... | ||
| If I had an important comedy show at the store, I would bring that 65 Mustang. | ||
| Because it was a convertible, and it was loud as fuck, side pipes, just full America. | ||
| You know, just raging, roaring, V8, and it just felt alive. | ||
| No radio. | ||
| No, you don't need that. | ||
| The car doesn't have a radio. | ||
| It's just free. | ||
| But was it true radio delete, or it just didn't have one? | ||
| No, it was a resto mod. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Steve Stroop did it for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got it, got it. | |
| I bought it from RK Motors in Charlotte, and then I sent it to Steve Stroop, and Steve Stroop just decked that motherfucker out, put a supercharger on the LS1. It was, oh, wide-ass fucking fat tires. | ||
| Were you just waiting to get down the list far enough to actually have Gas Monkey build something? | ||
| This was a long time ago, man. | ||
| I didn't even know you. | ||
| I tell you, I'm more than ready to do something with you. | ||
| It was on Jay Leno's Garage. | ||
| See if you can find my 1965 Corvette. | ||
| I've always wanted a 65 because there's something about that shape. | ||
| That's the perfect time when America was busting out of the 50s and into the 60s, and these shapes were getting radical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that motherfucker. | |
| Come on, son! | ||
| Look at that car! | ||
| Are those center lines? | ||
| That's right, bitch! | ||
| Center lines. | ||
| Center lines. | ||
| Flat. | ||
| People complained about them. | ||
| I'm like, eat shit, pussies. | ||
| That's what it's supposed to look like. | ||
| That car does not hurt my feelings. | ||
| It shouldn't. | ||
| It shouldn't. | ||
| That's a fucking amazing car. | ||
| I'd give them all up except that. | ||
| Every car I own. | ||
| I'm keeping that. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| I'm actually fixing to give up mine except for like three. | ||
| I'll never give that one up. | ||
| I'm fixing to sell them all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| I told you, I'm making some changes. | ||
| Making some moves? | ||
| Yeah, making some moves. | ||
| Well, that is the beautiful thing about cars. | ||
| If you have a good car. | ||
| I can't drink this whiskey shit. | ||
| Where's the tequila? | ||
| You can. | ||
| Give it to me. | ||
| Yeah, you pour that in there. | ||
| Now that I know you don't have corona, I'll take your whiskey. | ||
| Yeah, we got tested just a minute ago. | ||
| Can I have my glass back? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| What the fuck you gotta do around here? | ||
| The beautiful thing about those kind of cars is that someone always wants it. | ||
| Like, if you have a 1969 Boss Mustang, That is... | ||
| Someone's always going to want that car. | ||
| Yeah, but what I'm seeing in the market, being that I do that for business, is... | ||
| The 30s and 40s and almost the 50s have just dropped off the face of the planet. | ||
| 30s, 40s, and 50s? | ||
| Hot rods. | ||
| Oh, 1930? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are ridiculous anyway. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean... | ||
| That's a fucking bread truck. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Southern California, the birth of the hot rod. | ||
| Those people are ridiculous. | ||
| You know, 32 Ford. | ||
| I don't care about them. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I'm interested in like early 60s to like 71. Yeah. | ||
| Salute, my friend. | ||
| Salute, sir. | ||
| So, how about this one for a hot rod? | ||
| I had a 63 Pontiac Bonneville Station Wagon 8-Lug 421 4-Speed. | ||
| And I bought it right here off of Congress Avenue one night. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does it look like? | ||
| Blue with blue interior, bucket seats, in a wagon. | ||
| And it's a 421 8-Lug 4-Speed. | ||
| They have a big show here. | ||
| Four-speed wagon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Respect. | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Respect for a four-speed wagon. | ||
| Steve, God, I can never say his last name. | ||
| It starts with a W and ends with a couple of consonants. | ||
| But anyways, he has a big show here called Lone Star Roundup every year. | ||
| Big hot rod show right here in Austin. | ||
| You're going to love it. | ||
| When does that happen? | ||
| Usually right around Easter. | ||
| It's usually a weekend before, a weekend after. | ||
| It's coming up. | ||
| And it's a kick-ass old hot rod muscle car show. | ||
| And I saw this thing parked on the side of the road and I found the owner and I said, you know, you want to sell it? | ||
| They said, yeah. | ||
| So I snacked it up for eight grand right there because I knew what I had. | ||
| Got a picture of this type of vehicle? | ||
| Bonneville Station Wagon 421 8 Lux. | ||
| Do you have a picture of yours available online? | ||
| God, no. | ||
| This was 2004-05. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| That doesn't seem like that long ago. | ||
| You're 53, man. | ||
| I know, that's the problem. | ||
| First of all, my memory sucks, and my frame of reference is extended. | ||
| You know, when you're 53, 15 years ago doesn't seem that long. | ||
| Wow, look how pretty that is. | ||
| That's not a wagon, though. | ||
| That's not a wagon. | ||
| But that's a goddamn beautiful convertible. | ||
| Holy shit, that's nice. | ||
| When I was in... | ||
| Yeah, similar to that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| You had that in a four-speed? | ||
| Yeah, see, that's eight lug and the Bonneville, so it's the best trim package. | ||
| But mine had the 421, which was their three-deuce setup. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| 421 Tri-Power. | ||
| I had one of those. | ||
| I sold that thing for a mint. | ||
| See, that is the kind of thing that only a muscle car guy would understand. | ||
| Because you say that to any woman. | ||
| You had a station wagon? | ||
| Why are you proud of that? | ||
| Like, no woman's going to be a... | ||
| Even Jamie, look at him over there. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't there a fuck about that goddamn station wagon? | ||
| Shit, I'll throw a freaking Indian blanket in the back of that and put my girl back there and show her what's up. | ||
| Indian blanket? | ||
| Why an Indian blanket? | ||
| Well, I was just thinking... | ||
| Well, Texas here, we have the Indian... | ||
| Sharpie? | ||
| I don't know what the fucking word for it is. | ||
| But you just throw that thing down. | ||
| So, like what... | ||
| Dennis Hopper had on the front of his motorcycle in Easy Rider. | ||
| You know, whatever that crazy blanket is. | ||
| I'm sure there's a million words for it. | ||
| Sorry if I offended any Indians. | ||
| Are you allowed to? | ||
| They just got back the Indians. | ||
| No, Cleveland just said they're not going to be the Indians anymore. | ||
| I'm saying the Native Americans just got it back. | ||
| They took it away. | ||
| So now they could be Indians. | ||
| They could be Indians and we can't. | ||
| What are they going to be now? | ||
| Probably the Cleveland baseball franchise, just like the Washington Redskins turned into the football team. | ||
| No! | ||
| They said it's temporary until they can have a consulting group help them come up with a great name. | ||
| We have no flavor. | ||
| We should consult for them. | ||
| Consulting pays big. | ||
| Well, Cleveland used to be the Indians. | ||
| You're an Ohio guy. | ||
| What's representative of Cleveland? | ||
| The Browns. | ||
| The Browns is their team, and that's named after a guy's last name. | ||
| The Browns and the Indians. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Luckily it's named after a guy's name because that might be next. | ||
| Some people are hoping the Steamers gets picked up. | ||
| The Steamers? | ||
| The Steamers. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's not really well. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's an industry town, you know? | ||
| There's rock and roll and the WNBA team was named the Rockers. | ||
| Yeah, but what's going to happen when we get mad at Steel? | ||
| What's going to happen when we get mad at Steel and we don't like Steel anymore? | ||
| Pittsburgh's got to not use the Steelers. | ||
| They would not use the Steelers. | ||
| Cleveland would not do that. | ||
| Richard, you're an old-school American type dude. | ||
| What do we do about all this political correctness? | ||
| I think everybody's got to fucking check themselves. | ||
| I mean, it's just life. | ||
| Do you think it's just too many people have the opportunity to complain? | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| With the internet and social media the way it is, I mean, like I said earlier in the broadcast, there's an ass for every seat. | ||
| Well, there's an idiot for every fucking thing out there. | ||
| And there's probably 10. So no matter what you come up with, there's going to be somebody that decides to side with you. | ||
| And it's like, really? | ||
| You don't like grape Slurpees? | ||
| And now you've got a gang that's hanging out at the 7-11 telling people not to eat grape Slurpees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's that stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know what you're saying, but it's not a good time because... | ||
| When you allow people to complain, do you have children? | ||
| I do. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I've got a boy, Chandler. | ||
| I guess he's 23 right now. | ||
| Oh, so you've gone through the whole course. | ||
| So you know what it's like to raise a young one. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| His mom raised him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I unfortunately wasn't involved in that. | ||
| It was more of a... | ||
| How would you politically say this? | ||
| I had him on the weekends and Thanksgiving. | ||
| It wasn't a very fun process for him or me, but he's a good kid. | ||
| He's working his way through life and trying to figure it out. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| Listen, that's what made me who I am. | ||
| I'm fortunate that I had a fucked up childhood because it gave me motivation. | ||
| You hear that, Chandler? | ||
| In a lot of ways. | ||
| And then it's made me a much more attentive father. | ||
| Made me pay attention. | ||
| Yeah, you got two girls, right? | ||
| Yeah, three. | ||
| Three? | ||
| Yeah, three. | ||
| But what I was going to get at is that when you're raising kids and you see them and they're young, they complain about shit that they shouldn't complain about. | ||
| And you got to say, listen... | ||
| This is silly. | ||
| You're complaining about this. | ||
| This is not that big a deal. | ||
| Let's just do this and get it over with. | ||
| And they make it seem like it's the end of the world. | ||
| Like if they can't watch TV at 8 o'clock at night. | ||
| Like, look, you got to go to bed. | ||
| You got to be at school. | ||
| And they think it's the end of the world. | ||
| If you just gave them a social media account and let them complain about things, it would make it seem that those things were really significant. | ||
| And this is what you're getting with a lot of people. | ||
| You get a lot of grown-up babies that have a really ridiculous idea of what's important and not important. | ||
| And they have access to a Twitter account or a Facebook account. | ||
| And they just fucking spew. | ||
| Just blah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| They're almost all losers. | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| If you want to complain about things all day long, that is time that you're not spending doing the things you want to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| That is time that you're not spending improving your situation, improving your career, getting your life together, whatever the fuck you're trying to do. | ||
| Drinking beer? | ||
| That too. | ||
| You can't take away from it. | ||
| Anytime you spend complaining about... | ||
| Nonsensical things which is what a lot of what the internet is. | ||
| It's time you're not thinking about yourself and they don't realize it because a lot of these people were raised by people that were raised by other people that were idiots and this is what a lot of society is. | ||
| It's like you got your parents are morons and then you got to figure out how to not be like your parents and then you start raising kids your own like shit I got to figure out what they did to me and I want to not do that to these kids Some people don't get that, all right? | ||
| You get morons making morons who make morons, and those morons get a Twitter account, and they start just fucking just spewing. | ||
| And they have a venue. | ||
| And then other morons jump on board like, yeah, you're right, you're right, yeah, fuck them, they're all wrong. | ||
| And then you get all these idiots that find like a little echo chamber, and they all spew in the same hole. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| I mean, it's like I tell a... | ||
| We get some hate mail and stuff, you know, and hate stuff on the old Twitters and Instagrams and everything. | ||
| And I'm like, alright. | ||
| You know, you know so much about me. | ||
| You must be a fan because you're fucking watching. | ||
| And you're probably sitting in your mom's basement in your gas muggy t-shirt talking shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know that they want to bring you down because they look at you and you're having too much fun. | ||
| That's really what it is. | ||
| It's what it is in a lot of cases. | ||
| They want to bring you down because you're having too much fun. | ||
| But you've got to resist that. | ||
| What is that expression? | ||
| Envy or anger is the only thing that poisons the vessel that holds it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very deep. | ||
| It is deep. | ||
| It would be better if I said it right. | ||
| Yeah, it would have been a lot better. | ||
| It's one of those things where if you think about someone all the time and you're like, fucking Richard Ron, what is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy sucks at this and his fucking bullshit and this. | |
| They're paying so much attention, hating you, that if you looked at a pie chart of their life, like how much time do you spend loving and being a good friend and having a lot of laughs? | ||
| Anger is an acid that can do... | ||
| Well, that's too many words. | ||
| It's Mark Twain, but Mark Twain said it correctly. | ||
| So he's probably the first one. | ||
| Everybody else has shortened it. | ||
| Anger is an acid that can do more to harm the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. | ||
| That's not necessarily true. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Some anger can fuck up the whole world if you're Genghis Khan. | ||
| He did a lot more to other people than his own vessel. | ||
| Oh yeah, he fucked up the place. | ||
| He fucked up the whole world. | ||
| But you gotta give him a little bit of credit. | ||
| Killed 10% of the population. | ||
| He said, I'm just gonna fucking come in here and take shit. | ||
| Did you ever... | ||
| There's a guy named Dan Carlin. | ||
| He has a podcast called Hardcore History. | ||
| Have you ever heard of it? | ||
| I have, but I haven't listened to a lot of them. | ||
| He has a series called The Wrath of the Khan and it is the craziest fucking depiction of Genghis Khan and his ancestors that I've ever heard or seen. | ||
| It's like five parts and it's fucking incredible. | ||
| That guy killed somewhere between 20 and 50 million people while he was alive. | ||
| He killed 10% of the population of Earth. | ||
| They changed the carbon footprint. | ||
| The Mongols killed so many people. | ||
| It literally changed the carbon footprint of Earth. | ||
| Like, what humans have on Earth. | ||
| Like, if you do a core sample, they're like, why is there so little carbon? | ||
| Oh, that's when Genghis Khan was alive. | ||
| He killed so many people. | ||
| There was 10% less people. | ||
| You can measure it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| I never heard that. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| I know he's been on before, and I don't remember if you've asked this yet, but... | ||
| He doesn't script that out. | ||
| The whole show, it's not written. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He ad-libs everything. | ||
| What if you study something that far? | ||
| Like, he knows it enough that he tells the story. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| What he does is not a podcast. | ||
| Like, this is a podcast. | ||
| You and I, we're fucking getting a pile of empty beers. | ||
| We got whiskey. | ||
| This is a podcast. | ||
| We're talking shit. | ||
| What he does is like an audio entertainment historical educational experience. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| He's a national treasure, that guy, because he makes history interesting. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dan Carlin. | ||
| And I think it costs only... | ||
| Most of them are free, the ones that are current for free, but they're so expensive to make and it takes so long to make them... | ||
| There he is. | ||
| ...that you have to go... | ||
| That is a lot. | ||
| He does a lot of them. | ||
| See, I love that stuff. | ||
| You just taught me something. | ||
| I'm going to have to start watching them. | ||
| They're all incredible, but the Wrath of the Cons is definitely not free anymore. | ||
| When I downloaded it, it was free. | ||
| Wrath of the Cons series. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| So $10, and I'm telling you, it is some of the most amazing entertainment and history. | ||
| I'm doing it. | ||
| A history lesson. | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| I'm doing it because I read a lot of that stuff. | ||
| Most people think I can't read, but I can read, so... | ||
| I think you can read. | ||
| If it's small letters. | ||
| Who thinks you can't read? | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Who are those people? | ||
| I have no idea who those people are. | ||
| Those people, they need to relax. | ||
| They need a hug. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They think you can't read? | ||
| There's going to be a lot of people that need a hug because I just lowered the boom on your podcast that there's no fast and loud anymore. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| Oh, I'll be fine. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Change is great. | ||
| I love change. | ||
| Change is awesome. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It gives you a chance to reinvigorate. | ||
| And also, it lets you know that things don't last. | ||
| Like, you gotta fucking just pick up your shit. | ||
| Well, we're the first generation of that, you know, at our age. | ||
| You know, our parents and stuff, we're used to things just... | ||
| Staying forever. | ||
| You know, let's watch 27 years of MASH or whatever, right? | ||
| And then you take it to the kids that are even 18 today. | ||
| Hell, if it lasts three hours, they're impressed. | ||
| Yeah, they're bored as fuck. | ||
| Everything's all TikTok-y. | ||
| I hate TikTok. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Yeah, I got kids, and they TikTok. | ||
| One of my daughters TikToks all the time. | ||
| She's still in the house, like, TikTok-ing. | ||
| I don't understand what that is, though. | ||
| Kids TikTok across the land. | ||
| Hey, watch out. | ||
| Don't be throwing stuff around. | ||
| I got crazy. | ||
| They're all TikTok-ing, man. | ||
| I was watching some kid the other day at the mall, and his parents are in front of him, and he's like, fucking TikTok-ing. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Because you're 51? | ||
| What are you, 51? | ||
| I'm 51. Yeah. | ||
| How the fuck are we supposed to get it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| When we were kids, you would listen to FM radio. | ||
| Yeah, and I hit the light post with a tennis ball. | ||
| Wasn't there a... | ||
| Not only was Soul Train popular, but Dick Clark had that show. | ||
| You're going back a little far, man. | ||
| That's a little bit... | ||
| Don't make me come over that screen. | ||
| American Bandstand was kind of before our time. | ||
| Was that in the 50s? | ||
| 60s. | ||
| Was there something like that in the 70s or no? | ||
| Soul Train was in the 70s. | ||
| Soul Train was in the 70s. | ||
| But the thing is, high school for me is 81. I feel like coming of age is 81 to 85. Those are the years where... | ||
| Yeah, that's me. | ||
| Yeah, that's where Van Halen... | ||
| Van Halen was the shit, you know? | ||
| So looking at Soul Train in my head, that's TikTok, though, right? | ||
| They're dancing in front of a camera. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Trying to get famous. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There was Danny Terrio's... | ||
| Now, Danny Terrio's Dance Fever. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If you can find the credits to Danny Terrio's Dance Fever... | ||
| My mother owned a company with her boyfriend at the time that was called Funky Designs. | ||
| And they provided a lot of the dresses for the girls on Danny Terrio's Dance Fever. | ||
| Danny Terrio's Dance Fever. | ||
| I literally haven't thought of that for 40 years. | ||
| It just popped into my head for whatever reason. | ||
| 40 years? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| 1979. Yeah, 40 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't think about this. | ||
| Right after it was off the air, I stopped thinking about it. | ||
| So I don't know if it was every episode or not, but I know that she provided... | ||
| Is that Danny Terrio? | ||
| Where's he at now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How is that? | |
| He was the Ryan Seacrest of 1979. So my mother's company put up a lot of the dresses and apparel for these girls. | ||
| Hold on, back up a little bit. | ||
| Let me see Danny again. | ||
| What's going on with his tie? | ||
| It's probably a sock tie. | ||
| Back up so I don't see your volume thing. | ||
| What's his tie? | ||
| What's happening with his tie? | ||
| Is it outside or is it inside? | ||
| Yeah, it's very short. | ||
| It's like a short tie. | ||
| That is preposterous. | ||
| Him and Ralph Macchio could be brothers, easily, right? | ||
| I think that... | ||
| Are we sure Danny Terrio's not Simon Cowell as a young man? | ||
| He definitely isn't. | ||
| He definitely isn't. | ||
| Because I don't think Simon can move like that. | ||
| Simon fell in his driveway... | ||
| On an electric bike. | ||
| And he's fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, literally fucked. | ||
| Like, his spine is shattered. | ||
| Yeah, he's suing those people, I heard. | ||
| The electric bike people? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come on. | ||
| Learn how to fucking handle it. | ||
| You got on a freaking bike? | ||
| It's your problem. | ||
| Jesus Christ, you fell. | ||
| Is he really fucking suing? | ||
| I saw it the other day. | ||
| Calm the fuck on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not kidding. | |
| That drives me crazy. | ||
| Everybody's all sue-happy. | ||
| Everybody knew what it is. | ||
| It's not a Nerf ball that you're climbing inside of. | ||
| This headline says he could sue, not that he did sue. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, is that what it was? | ||
| Sorry, Simon. | ||
| Sorry, Simon. | ||
| Shout out to Simon. | ||
| Stay strong. | ||
| Heel up, brother. | ||
| In case we're hanging out polo club later. | ||
| Heel up, brother. | ||
| That guy's always so mean. | ||
| And then he became a vegan for compassion. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Who the fuck is a vegan for compassion? | ||
| He's been mean to everybody for so long. | ||
| Like, that show is all about... | ||
| It's part of his gig. | ||
| This is from a whistleblower from inside the company. | ||
| It says that... | ||
| Which, if this is true, it is a little extreme. | ||
| Like, the e-bike I have only goes to 20 miles an hour. | ||
| It stops there. | ||
| This one can go up to 60. Good. | ||
| Make it go 100. I need... | ||
| Yeah, fast and loud. | ||
| You're talking to Richard Rawls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need that! | |
| How about you shut your hole, Jamie? | ||
| What are you, a fucking socialist? | ||
| Yeah, I've been trying to learn how to ride my Onewheel. | ||
| Have you seen the Onewheels? | ||
| Yeah, we got one of those. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Rich Benoit from Rich Rebuilds brought us one, right? | ||
| That's where we got it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Rich Rebuilds. | ||
| He had his own. | ||
| They sent us some. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| We talked about it on the podcast. | ||
| Rich came on the show. | ||
| Did you ever watch that YouTube show? | ||
| I have. | ||
| Rich Rebuilds has a great YouTube show because he's basically one of the very first guys that does electric cars and takes total Teslas and he'll take the engine out of this one and he'll put it in the body of that one and he's gone way out of his way to sort of highlight the fact that these fucking cars are impossible for a regular person to fix. | ||
| So then he built his own garage in Boston called the Electric Garage. | ||
| Electric Garage or Electrified Garage? | ||
| What is his garage? | ||
| Electric garage. | ||
| So he's like a renegade electrified. | ||
| He's a renegade electric car guy. | ||
| He had to jury rig some shit in his car to even get it to work. | ||
| And he had to buy the key from the dude who owned the car. | ||
| He had to find the guy who originally owned it. | ||
| Because he couldn't just get a key. | ||
| He couldn't go to Tesla and say, Hey, I bought this car. | ||
| And then I bought another car, put the engine in that one. | ||
| Can I get a key? | ||
| Like if you went to Chevy and you said, hey, I bought a 2005 Z06 and I swapped the engine out with a fucking 2015 Z06 and this and that. | ||
| No, it's complicated now. | ||
| They would give you a key though. | ||
| They would help. | ||
| To a point. | ||
| But they would work with you. | ||
| Wouldn't they work with you? | ||
| I think Chevy would work with you. | ||
| It's getting a little crazy now with all this electronics. | ||
| Because they're controlling something that is potentially profitable, so they want to make their profit on it. | ||
| So they might work with you, but they might charge you $2,000 for that key. | ||
| That's a car. | ||
| My first car cost like $350. | ||
| Mine was $250. | ||
| I bought a 73 Chevelle. | ||
| It died like two days after I bought it. | ||
| How could $2,000 get you a key? | ||
| Oh, we lost the key to the Rover the other day and they want $900 to replace the car we own. | ||
| I'm like, are you kidding me? | ||
| $900 for a key? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That seems ridiculous. | ||
| It's absolutely ridiculous. | ||
| Is it one of those keys that has a little LCD where you can change the songs on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it doesn't do shit. | |
| It just opens and unlocks the doors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's an old-ass rover, man. | |
| Why is it so expensive? | ||
| Because they can. | ||
| Did you ask? | ||
| Yeah, because they can. | ||
| That's the bottom line. | ||
| But the... | ||
| Shit, I had a thought and I lost it. | ||
| You know what I really worry about? | ||
| What? | ||
| Autonomous cars. | ||
| You know why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Because they're going to be better. | ||
| They're going to be safer. | ||
| They're going to get us where we need to go. | ||
| Everyone is going to know. | ||
| Every car is going to know where every other car is. | ||
| It's going to be real simple. | ||
| Every car is going to avoid accidents. | ||
| They're going to go the speed limit. | ||
| If you need a car, it's going to encourage people to take public transportation because, like, why do I even need a car if I can't even drive it? | ||
| I'll just start using public cars or public transportation. | ||
| What if you're in a hurry or you want to go fast or you want to do a burnout? | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| That's dangerous. | ||
| All those things are very independent. | ||
| They're very American. | ||
| They're also very dangerous. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| But I mean, like California saying, they want 20, 35 only electric cars. | ||
| California's the birthplace of hot rodding. | ||
| That guy's just trying to be president. | ||
| He'll never be president. | ||
| He's a douchebag. | ||
| Well, now he's probably got a real rough road of it when they busted him eating dinner inside without a mask. | ||
| And there's a recall right now. | ||
| A Gavin Newsom recall that's at 800,000 signatures so far. | ||
| If you go to recallgavin.com, I don't know which one it is, but... | ||
| I don't know anything about it. | ||
| All I know is that... | ||
| That idea that you're going to stop in 2035, the problem is there's people that are working right now on carbon... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| With a star dimmed. | ||
| California's Newsom could face recall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| He fucked up with a lot of things, but he really fucked up getting caught in that restaurant with no mask on, inside, sitting right next to each other. | ||
| 1.5 million petitions. | ||
| They've got nearly half of what they need is what that is. | ||
| So it's the $800,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sorry, I thought that's what it said to you. | ||
| Yeah, not good. | ||
| But what are you going to do? | ||
| I mean, I like... | ||
| If I can't go out and smell the gasoline and hear the roar and feel the car... | ||
| We're the last of the Mohicans. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| I think guys who grew up like you and I did when we were kids... | ||
| I worked at a gas station and... | ||
| Same. | ||
| My friend John had a brother. | ||
| And his brother drove by Cliffy. | ||
| Cliffy Jewett. | ||
| He drove by at a 65 GTO convertible. | ||
| And we would all just watch him drive by like, wow... | ||
| And his license plate was chirps, because he would, like, chirp the gears as he was going through first or second. | ||
| Yeah, chirp the tires. | ||
| And we would all just sit there when he drove by, like, wow, there it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| For me, it was a part of those kind of cars, those muscle cars from the 60s and early 70s. | ||
| They were a part of life. | ||
| Like, that was what you aspired to. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That and good times, man. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Both of those good times vans. | ||
| Scooby-Doo vans. | ||
| Do you remember the vans where people used to have Conan the Barbarian? | ||
| Like the fucking Frank Rosetta thing spray-painted on the side? | ||
| Yeah, the fire-breathing dragon with the dude on there with the sword. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Yeah, there was a bunch of those vans from that day that were custom vans that were made with those fantasy paintings on them. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Oh, Close Encounters. | ||
| Close Encounters, yeah. | ||
| Bro, that looks amazing. | ||
| Look, side pipes. | ||
| That van is the shit. | ||
| That van is the shit. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| That's a podcast fan. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| Do we? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| We should. | ||
| I could build that. | ||
| We've talked about it. | ||
| I could build you a podcast, man. | ||
| Oh, now we're talking. | ||
| Should we do what Tim Pool did? | ||
| Or should we do like this? | ||
| Be kind of more Vanny. | ||
| Maybe there's, like, a value in being more vanning. | ||
| We could spray paint one of those cool Mercedes vans, too. | ||
| We don't have to go with the small thing. | ||
| But the thing is, like, these have the whole side, like, no windows. | ||
| I had one of these when I delivered newspapers. | ||
| You delivered it? | ||
| I had a GMC. Why did we have such parallel lives? | ||
| I delivered newspapers as a kid from the time I was eight until I was, well, I left home. | ||
| It was my dad's third job. | ||
| Back then, you had a newspaper in the morning and in the evening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| In Fort Worth. | ||
| You had an evening, a morning paper and an evening paper. | ||
| And so my dad would get me up at like, oh, three o'clock in the morning. | ||
| No matter what the weather, I'd put on whatever gear and I'd sit in the backseat of a four-door Dodge and throw... | ||
| I'd wrap the newspapers or rubber band them and throw them into the front. | ||
| And then... | ||
| He'd throw them out either side. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I had to race home from school to get back in the car and do it again after he finished his job as a produce manager. | ||
| And then you said something else earlier that we've both done work to the gas station. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So look at that. | ||
| Newspaper, the best thing about delivering newspapers for me was that you didn't really have to talk to anybody. | ||
| Just go and do it. | ||
| And for me, it was perfect. | ||
| I would just, I would listen to the morning radio and Sometimes nothing at all. | ||
| I would just think. | ||
| Just think about life. | ||
| Fold papers. | ||
| Stuff them in those plastic bags. | ||
| Plastic bags hanging from the rear view. | ||
| And then chuck them out the windows. | ||
| And I was good. | ||
| I was good at chucking them out the windows. | ||
| And then I had a few older ladies in particular where I'd deliver their newspaper inside their door. | ||
| You had to open them. | ||
| But I would resist that for most folks. | ||
| Like a lot of lazy dudes. | ||
| They didn't want to go out to the driveway to get the newspaper. | ||
| Like, would you put it inside the screen door? | ||
| Like, come on, bitch. | ||
| You can walk. | ||
| This is for old people. | ||
| But do you remember the little ticket book where you collected and you'd have to go knock on people's door on Saturday afternoon and be like, dude, you owe me $2. | ||
| The ticket book was a bummer because guys would get mad at you because they owed money for getting the fucking newspaper delivered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they said, you know, there was about two Saturdays ago I didn't get the supplemental with all the coupons. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's because I took it out because you owe me money, boo. | ||
| Listen, I don't know what you're talking about, man. | ||
| You've got to complain. | ||
| I'm here every morning at your house delivering you a newspaper. | ||
| Please give me the money. | ||
| But it taught me a lot about discipline because it was a 365-day-a-year job. | ||
| There was no days off. | ||
| I did not have a single day off delivering newspapers unless I had a fight. | ||
| I had to travel outside of the state. | ||
| In that case, I had someone take over for me. | ||
| I had one of the other guys at the dispatch. | ||
| But every day, snow, rain, it didn't matter. | ||
| Every day I was up at 4.30 in the morning and I'd go to the dispatch and I'd get my papers and I'd do my route. | ||
| And I was done somewhere around 8. Same thing here. | ||
| Same thing here. | ||
| And then I'd go straight to school. | ||
| For me, it was godsend. | ||
| Because I can get money without having to have a boss hanging over my fucking shoulder every day. | ||
| Growing up in a fucked up childhood, it was not good for listening to authority. | ||
| I was bad at that. | ||
| Because I didn't get a lot of it in the house. | ||
| So I was like, I just wasn't a good employee. | ||
| Like, really. | ||
| I wouldn't want me working for me. | ||
| Unless... | ||
| There was a job where you didn't have to talk to me. | ||
| I knew how to discipline myself. | ||
| And then learning how to discipline myself further with this thing where it's like, just shut the fuck up and do it. | ||
| Just go there and do it. | ||
| And when it's over, then it's over. | ||
| But you have to get zen about it. | ||
| You have to just do the work. | ||
| And that taught me a lot in life. | ||
| Because learning how to grind, that was a big part of my childhood. | ||
| Learning how to just show up, deliver the newspapers, and go home and go back to bed and take a nap. | ||
| That's a valuable lesson, man. | ||
| Same here. | ||
| I mean, that's the way I grew up. | ||
| So I did that. | ||
| I mowed yards. | ||
| I did that too. | ||
| I bought and sold cars. | ||
| I worked for a landscaper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the good thing is, you know, I knew where all the cars were. | ||
| You know, throwing newspapers, I'm driving that neighborhood every day. | ||
| You know, I see that garage door up, I'm like, eh, that might be an RSSS. I don't know. | ||
| I bought a lot of cars that way. | ||
| Well, when I was in high school, there was a few kids that were real hard work. | ||
| Luckily, that's the other thing about New England, growing up in Boston. | ||
| Those people are hard working folks. | ||
| They work hard. | ||
| And it's because of the fact that you have to shovel your fucking driveway or you can't get out. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| There's no just waking up. | ||
| You're living in Miami. | ||
| It's like fucking 75 in the morning. | ||
| You get in your car. | ||
| Oh, they shovel their snow in Miami. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Trust me on that. | ||
| It's more like spooning it. | ||
| People are moving there now, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of Silicon Valley is moving to Miami. | ||
| That's a wrong move. | ||
| It's not the right move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But good. | ||
| I'm happy. | ||
| I'm like, make that sucker move. | ||
| I've been here for four months, and I was like, get out of here. | ||
| Don't move here. | ||
| Oh, you already think you're a Texan. | ||
| You're ready to rock. | ||
| I'm not just a Texan, but I'm an exclusionist. | ||
| I'm trying to keep other people from coming. | ||
| Yeah, I hate it here. | ||
| Don't come here. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| Except comedians. | ||
| I'm trying to move comedians in. | ||
| But that's something we're working on. | ||
| Oh, Texas is going to be the comedian capital of the world. | ||
| Austin is, as much as I can make it. | ||
| Well, it's always been the country music and the barbecue capital of Texas, so do we go for a comedian capital? | ||
| Well, we need a spot, and we don't have a spot right now. | ||
| New York is shut down. | ||
| L.A. is shut down. | ||
| And I've been doing these shows with Dave Chappelle at Stubbs BBQ in town over the last few weeks. | ||
| I've seen a couple of those. | ||
| Bro, they've been fucking amazing. | ||
| They're so much fun. | ||
| We COVID test the whole crowd, so the whole crowd can be jammed in there. | ||
| 400 people. | ||
| Where's my invite for the next one? | ||
| You're coming, brother. | ||
| Well, tomorrow night and Wednesday are the next two nights. | ||
| Well, I'll just stay. | ||
| Stay! | ||
| Stay! | ||
| I got nothing to do. | ||
| Did I tell you I'm not with Discovery anymore? | ||
| We just made plans. | ||
| Let's do a double date. | ||
| My wife's coming, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| But anyway, the point is, comics have been already coming here. | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe started moving here. | ||
| He moved here. | ||
| Brian Redman moved here. | ||
| Tom Segura is going to move here, but he just broke his arm and his leg. | ||
| How the fuck do you do that? | ||
| Dunking at 46. Tried to dunk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wasn't good. | ||
| Yeah, he fell. | ||
| Blew his patella tendon out, then he fell, snapped his arm in half. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Have you talked to him at all? | ||
| Don't try to jump. | ||
| Just about how he was trying to dunk. | ||
| I talked to him yesterday. | ||
| He's not doing good. | ||
| He's still at this rehabilitation center. | ||
| He can't move. | ||
| But once it's all done, he said he'll actually be stronger than he was before the injury. | ||
| What is he? | ||
| Fucking a bionic man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| We built him back. | ||
| He's better. | ||
| I told Michael, let them pump you up with steroids. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let's go, Tommy Buns! | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| But there's a lot that are going to move here. | ||
| Tim Dillon. | ||
| Even Chappelle's been thinking about it. | ||
| We were talking about it. | ||
| Somebody asked him on stage the other night. | ||
| And he's like, man, I might. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| I mean, why are you going to take that taxation that you guys have out there? | ||
| It's not just the taxation. | ||
| There's a vibe here that I think is really nice. | ||
| It's very cool here. | ||
| Texas is so awesome. | ||
| Texas is great. | ||
| All of Texas is great. | ||
| People ask me all the time, because I travel a lot, they're like, Dude, where would you live? | ||
| And I'm like, Texas? | ||
| It's pretty fucking cool. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's pretty fucking cool. | ||
| I wanted to be here forever. | ||
| But it was hard talking anybody else in my family into it because L.A. was so nice to us until the pandemic. | ||
| And then it was easy. | ||
| I took the kids down here once and they're like, we can go into a restaurant inside? | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| You wear a mask. | ||
| They fucking temperature check you. | ||
| You're not sick. | ||
| You haven't had a sign of a thing. | ||
| Sit down. | ||
| Eat like a normal person. | ||
| They test their employees. | ||
| We can do this. | ||
| Have you spent any time in Dallas? | ||
| I love Dallas. | ||
| Dallas is rad. | ||
| I fucking love Dallas. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I would live there. | ||
| But this was like where everybody agreed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't get... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you get direct out of Austin to LA? I don't know. | |
| I think you have to connect through Houston or Dallas. | ||
| I mean, the pandemic changed a lot of flights everywhere, but there's at least one on a couple different airlines. | ||
| Yeah, I see. | ||
| Out of Dallas, you can get a flight to LA or New York about every hour. | ||
| Yeah, but you could just fly to Dallas. | ||
| That's like a five-minute flight. | ||
| I know, but I don't have your kind of money. | ||
| That five-minute flight to Dallas? | ||
| You've got to look at the good in the back. | ||
| It's 40 minutes. | ||
| The good thing about it being semi-difficult is it's going to discourage pussies. | ||
| People that are afraid of a 40-minute flight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You afraid of getting up a little bit earlier? | ||
| Well, see, my problem was 35 freeway between Austin and Dallas. | ||
| It's called I-35. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They've been working on that fucker since I was born. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| It's been under construction since I was born. | ||
| And it's just the worst road, the worst everything, speed traps everywhere. | ||
| And so I went in and flew this time. | ||
| All right, fuck it. | ||
| I'm flying. | ||
| How long is the flight? | ||
| Like 40 minutes. | ||
| How's a 40-minute flight when it's a three-hour drive? | ||
| Around that, 40, 45, whatever. | ||
| It should seem like shorter, right? | ||
| I mean, that's what it is to Vegas from L.A., you know? | ||
| Depending on how fast they can get up. | ||
| Yeah, but Vegas is like four hours if you pedal to the metal. | ||
| It's because of the hill, though. | ||
| You know, if it was flat. | ||
| But I mean, I literally live walking distance from the front door of the airport. | ||
| You know, and so... | ||
| It's good and bad to everything. | ||
| But it sucks coming down 35 or going up it. | ||
| There's always construction, always crab, and it has been for 50 freaking years. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Don't move here, people. | ||
| Yeah, don't move here. | ||
| It's a bad spot. | ||
| This is a horrible place to be. | ||
| Don't come to Texas. | ||
| The food is insane here. | ||
| If you think you know what barbecue tastes like, you don't know shit. | ||
| You need to go to Terry Black's. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| Matt Pittman can throw down something a little better. | ||
| He can throw down something. | ||
| And I can. | ||
| You come out to Dallas and I'll cook for you. | ||
| I'd be happy to have you cook for me, but don't you dare disparage Terry Black's. | ||
| You stop. | ||
| I have not had Terry Black's, so I do not know. | ||
| I need to get in line with Franklin's. | ||
| I need to bite the bullet. | ||
| Because everybody says it's worth the line. | ||
| I'm like, how can you say that in a place that has the most insane barbecue ever? | ||
| Can it really be worth the line? | ||
| The line is long at that place. | ||
| Is it long right now? | ||
| It must be extra long because you've got that six foot social distancing thing. | ||
| They're up on I-35 waiting on barbecue. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| It would be triple the line normally. | ||
| Normally a three to four hour line. | ||
| Can we pay people to wait in that line? | ||
| They do. | ||
| They have a whole business. | ||
| Yeah, because at Onnit, we did that. | ||
| Onnit hired someone to wait in line so we could get food. | ||
| Oh, so I got a question on that stuff because I hear you talking about it. | ||
| Does it work? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Strength and conditioning equipment works? | ||
| The Onnit supplements? | ||
| Alpha Brain? | ||
| Alpha Brain. | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| It definitely works. | ||
| What does it do? | ||
| It improves your memory. | ||
| What? | ||
| They did two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies at the Boston Center for Memory. | ||
| And they showed increase in verbal acuity, your ability to remember words, your ability to form sentences, increase in your memory, and there's a few other things. | ||
| Oh, alpha flow state, which I don't know how they measure. | ||
| But what it does for me is... | ||
| Here's how to look at it. | ||
| You're never the same person. | ||
| If you're hungover, your brain doesn't work as well. | ||
| At least mine doesn't. | ||
| I don't know you, right? | ||
| My brain does not work that good when I'm tired. | ||
| My brain does not work that good if I worked out too hard and then I come here. | ||
| I'm not the same person every day. | ||
| And anybody who's listening to this podcast will know that. | ||
| There's days that I'm very articulate, and there's days that I sound like a fucking idiot. | ||
| And that's just the average of being a person and living a stressful life. | ||
| Alpha Brain in particular. | ||
| There's a lot of nootropics that I like. | ||
| There's a gum that I take called Neuro Gum. | ||
| There's another company that makes this thing called Neuro One. | ||
| That's Bill Romanowski, the football player's company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've heard of it. | |
| It's a really good... | ||
| They're called nootropics. | ||
| And then there's another one called True Brain. | ||
| But the company that I am one of the owners of is Onnit, and we make one too. | ||
| Ours is called AlphaBrain. | ||
| And I think it's the best one that I've ever used, but opinions vary. | ||
| But I'm just saying what we know for a fact... | ||
| Because it's the only one that I know of that's had two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies that showed efficacy. | ||
| It does improve your memory. | ||
| It does improve your ability to form sentences. | ||
| But you might not notice it. | ||
| If you're a person and you don't have a very difficult job that makes you... | ||
| Think on the fly. | ||
| You might be a dude who just runs around. | ||
| But for me, it's valuable. | ||
| It's very valuable. | ||
| But it does work. | ||
| So I'm going to grab, because you've got some samples out there, I'm going to grab a bunch of those. | ||
| Whatever you want, man. | ||
| I'm going to report to my followers. | ||
| What I find out. | ||
| Another thing that's good because you just started working out is the Shroom Tech. | ||
| Shroom Tech sport. | ||
| It's a Cordyceps mushroom supplement. | ||
| So it's... | ||
| Cordyceps mushrooms were discovered... | ||
| I think they were discovered... | ||
| Or they first started using them, like, publicly. | ||
| The Chinese Olympic team. | ||
| And they started breaking all these records in track and field. | ||
| And they're breaking all these records in terms of endurance sports. | ||
| There's something of... | ||
| What did they... | ||
| There was something about cordyceps mushrooms. | ||
| I'm kind of talking out of my ass. | ||
| I'm trying to remember the benefits that they found from it. | ||
| And then other athletes started finding out about it. | ||
| But it increases your ability to absorb oxygen and increases your endurance. | ||
| Yeah, you've talked about that breathing thing, too. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck that is. | ||
| Breathing thing. | ||
| You take the breaths. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I saw something. | ||
| But anyways... | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| It may boost exercise performance. | ||
| Cordyceps are thought to increase the body's production of the molecule adenosine triphosate, which is essential for delivering energy to the muscles. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| It really does work. | ||
| It may improve the way your body uses oxygen, especially during exercise. | ||
| Okay, and not to get on a commercial and stuff that you kick and love, but... | ||
| CDB... CBD. And energy drink. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just did that thing. | ||
| And I have an energy drink. | ||
| So, how does that work? | ||
| Because I thought it's supposed to calm you down, and then you're supposed to get up. | ||
| It's like an oxymoron. | ||
| What's in the CBD energy drinks from Kill Cliff? | ||
| Kill Cliff, yeah. | ||
| The show we're on. | ||
| 25 milligrams of CBD, which is definitely good for you. | ||
| And there's a lot of electrolytes that are really good for you. | ||
| But I don't think the energy comes from a lot of caffeine. | ||
| I think it's more B vitamins and stuff like that, which is good for you. | ||
| That's my drink too. | ||
| Look, CBD, however you can get it, whether it's from tinctures, drops, or I like gummies, that shit is just great for you. | ||
| The big problem, there's a lot of problems people have, but one of the big ones is inflammation. | ||
| Anything you can do to reduce inflammation in your life is good. | ||
| Whether it's through diet change or through CBD construction. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| The endocannabinoid system. | ||
| Phytocannabinoids or plant cannabinoids bind with cannabinoid receptors and send a message to the body to do certain things like help regulate motor control, immune function, reproduction, sleep, appetite, mood, pleasure, pain, fertility, memory, and temperature. | ||
| If you want and you have the time, you can get into it and try to figure out what the fuck benefit you would get from CBD. But for me, it's a no-brainer. | ||
| It's 100% beneficial to me in terms of soreness, sore joints and weird shit that happens to my body from just beating it up. | ||
| And also anxiety and relaxation. | ||
| I love taking it before I go to bed. | ||
| I use CBD, MD, the oil. | ||
| I just take a bunch of it before I go to bed. | ||
| It just chills me the fuck out. | ||
| See, I've got to learn about all this stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like an old soul. | |
| I just drink until I go to sleep. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that either, if you want to do it that way. | ||
| How long are we going to be here, bro? | ||
| You and I, we're already past the mark. | ||
| Where are we at? | ||
| We're in the 50s. | ||
| When we were kids, 50-year-olds were dead. | ||
| Well, it's like marriage. | ||
| Till Death Do Us Part was invented when they were about 30. It was death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People didn't have a good age expectancy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was a rough time to be a person back then. | ||
| No CBD. No Kill Cliffs. | ||
| It's hard to get... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You had to grow your own weed. | |
| I'm sure they all knew how. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They're probably just too busy working to the death with no vitamins. | ||
| Whoever figured out vitamins, how to take them, that guy changed everything. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But didn't you just get your vitamins from the farm field? | ||
| But did you really? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe that's why people died at 30. They're eating fucking shitty corn and wheat, just no vitamins, just passing out. | ||
| Falling over, hitting their head on rocks. | ||
| I just recently got a gym so I don't understand all this workout stuff. | ||
| You picked a weird time to start. | ||
| I do not understand it all. | ||
| But you got a trainer. | ||
| That's the good move. | ||
| Yeah, I got a good trainer. | ||
| He comes in. | ||
| He's all happy and stuff. | ||
| And I'm like, fuck you, dude. | ||
| I don't even want to do this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I've rubbed my elbow raw on your fucking table. | ||
| I have crazy calluses on my table. | ||
| On my elbow, rather, from this table. | ||
| From all the years. | ||
| Is that a thing? | ||
| Elbow callus? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You get those. | ||
| You do a lot of podcasts. | ||
| So when you're doing your podcast, is the podcast going to be similar to what you're talking about for a television show, like food, travel, the whole deer, or are you going to just talk about life? | ||
| I think it's going to be a little bit of everything, but I'm also going to take people out of the room, so to speak, and be able to talk about, okay, I did this on Tuesday. | ||
| Oh, and you're going to go on the road with recordings that you already have. | ||
| And this is what happened. | ||
| Video and audio? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the move. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the move. | ||
| You should go into business with me. | ||
| I'll help you. | ||
| I'll just tell people where to go. | ||
| I've got a follower, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe not after this. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What have you done wrong? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I haven't done anything wrong. | |
| Not a thing wrong. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Not a part of this show that I'm nervous about. | ||
| I don't even think I'm getting pinged on the $25,000 per occurrence with my contract with Discovery yet. | ||
| So if they were the best boss in the world, and they treated me like gold because I was their star, then why would they put it in the contract that I couldn't talk about them unless it was favorably or it would cost $25,000? | ||
| You couldn't talk shit, yeah. | ||
| Maybe it's worth it. | ||
| Maybe it's worth it sometimes to give up. | ||
| Oh, I've thought about it. | ||
| I've thought about it. | ||
| Don't want to fuck off. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Your stupid social media ideas. | ||
| You're tempting me so badly. | ||
| People with children. | ||
| Think about throwing down $25,000 right now, right here, and just being like, But I'm not sure where it stops. | ||
| Do you get one statement or two statements? | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| You had a deal. | ||
| You made a deal. | ||
| You gotta be a man. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The deal was don't talk shit. | ||
| So don't talk shit. | ||
| But that is a weird thing. | ||
| I don't think that that's a deal that you would take, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I wouldn't take it. | |
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| There's no fucking way. | ||
| I'd be like, I don't know what to do then. | ||
| If I can't talk shit, what am I going to do? | ||
| Wait a second. | ||
| So I get away from you, but I can't talk shit? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think I probably have something in the Spotify contract if I went and looked at it. | ||
| Probably not supposed to be mean. | ||
| Dude, it's probably 25 fucking pages. | ||
| 250 pages long. | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What should I tell you? | ||
| I'll tell you the funny thing about contracts. | ||
| I just saw the first one the other day when me and my lovely wife got married about a year ago. | ||
| I come in and I'm like, honey, you know... | ||
| I'm the guy on TV, so I hate it, but we have to deal with the financial aspects of, you know, getting married. | ||
| So I hand her, you know, like maybe 50 pages, contract, prenup, that kind of thing. | ||
| And of course, she was married to a billionaire. | ||
| And she goes, oh, I'm glad you brought that up. | ||
| Puts down the fucking phone book. | ||
| Of her own? | ||
| It's like four inches tall. | ||
| Couldn't it be like two pages? | ||
| Like, I don't want your shit. | ||
| You don't want my shit. | ||
| Let's just be together. | ||
| Ah, we wanted that, but, you know, the lawyers dictate other things. | ||
| Fucking lawyers. | ||
| But you need them sometimes. | ||
| Nah, but she's the best thing. | ||
| Otherwise you would be fucked with this restaurant. | ||
| Ah, she's the best thing in my life, and the restaurant's the worst thing in my life, so I'm doing good. | ||
| So lawyers are important. | ||
| Yes, they are. | ||
| It's a weird thing when people get involved with businesses. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Money. | ||
| I could get more if I have someone who negotiates better for me. | ||
| Yeah, but I found out that, you know, I don't know if you have an agent or a manager and all that shit. | ||
| I found out they all suck. | ||
| No, they don't all suck. | ||
| They don't really work. | ||
| You're in a different business than me, so it's different. | ||
| I'm in the comedy business, and then the podcast thing sort of came along along the way. | ||
| But managers are very important in comedy, and they're very important even in podcasts. | ||
| You need someone who's going to coordinate with an agent that sells ads. | ||
| And someone who does the business aspects of it. | ||
| Or you're fucked. | ||
| Then you're going to be thinking about that on your own. | ||
| And you only have, you know, we talked about the slice of the pie. | ||
| You only have so much brain space. | ||
| You can't be filling that brain space up with how much money should me undies give me. | ||
| You know, you don't have time for that. | ||
| So you need someone. | ||
| If you want to do your best work, this is my opinion, you can think about optimizing the amount of profit you do, but the problem with that is oftentimes when you do that, you do that at an expense. | ||
| The expense is the quality of the work you do, because you're thinking about money instead of thinking about being you, and being free, and then concentrating on doing the best job you can as an entertainer. | ||
| I agree, but what about the fact that when you reach a certain level... | ||
| Like you and I have, where people come to you and they're like, hey, I'm the CEO of blah, or I'm the CEO of this. | ||
| Here's my thought process. | ||
| And I want to do some business with you. | ||
| And then you have to turn it over and give up 10, 20% between the two. | ||
| I see where you're coming from, but here's my perspective. | ||
| The only reason why I am in the position that I'm in now is because I have these relationships, and they helped me get to where I am, and we're in it for the long haul. | ||
| And I'm not going to notice 10%. | ||
| I'm not going to think about that. | ||
| What I notice is the bad vibes of not having the same agent, or the bad vibes of... | ||
| I've had the same manager since I was an open mic comedian. | ||
| I will never get rid of my manager. | ||
| But this is beneficial for everybody. | ||
| It's beneficial for them and it's beneficial for... | ||
| So companies are coming to me, but why am I me? | ||
| I'm me because I worked with them and they helped me become me. | ||
| And one of the ways they helped me become me is by alleviating concerns about money and about business. | ||
| I don't have to think about that. | ||
| I don't like to think about that. | ||
| I'm busy. | ||
| I like to think about important shit, like muscle cars and talking shit. | ||
| Those are important things for me. | ||
| So I don't want to think about percentages and fucking long haul stuff. | ||
| I'd rather other people think about that. | ||
| People who have a vested interest. | ||
| They're invested in that success. | ||
| So you're a team. | ||
| But do those people bring you deals? | ||
| Some of them bring me deals, but the point is, if it wasn't for them coordinating and facilitating, it wouldn't happen. | ||
| I'm not going to do that. | ||
| I'm not that guy. | ||
| I'm not going to be a guy who goes out and chases down deals. | ||
| Even if someone comes to me, I'm not going to know how to negotiate or how to do it right. | ||
| I will wind up getting far less money than the 10% I give them. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just have to think about it in terms of, instead of thinking about, oh, I've got to get what I can, think about it in terms of, like, it's feast or famine. | ||
| I'm a feast person. | ||
| I want a buffet. | ||
| I want a fucking banquet. | ||
| I want everybody to come and sit down. | ||
| I don't want to think about famine. | ||
| I don't want to think, well, I need more, save more, and if I got rid of them, I would have more. | ||
| It's not about that. | ||
| It's about what do they earn? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do they bring? | |
| They're your agent. | ||
| What do they bring? | ||
| It's not what do they bring. | ||
| They negotiate the thing. | ||
| They provide a service. | ||
| They put it together. | ||
| I did not. | ||
| I did not have that experience. | ||
| You have different relationships than me. | ||
| Most of my life coming up through what I came up through in the last 18 years was I'd see somebody, meet somebody, even yourself. | ||
| Hey, I want to be on Joe Rogan. | ||
| You know, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Joe Rogan wants me on. | ||
| And then I have to give that to them. | ||
| And they took credit for it. | ||
| But they didn't do anything. | ||
| I made that relationship. | ||
| You have a different thing going on then. | ||
| For comedians, I always recommend find someone that you can trust. | ||
| And then let them know early on. | ||
| We're in this for the long haul. | ||
| I'm not interested in jumping around with different managers. | ||
| I never changed. | ||
| I only kept the same all the way through until it was done. | ||
| But the problem was other people were coming to you with things, and they weren't bringing you these things, but they were getting the percentage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In close to 10 years, I had my team bring me one deal out of 50. Well, that's not good. | ||
| No, it wasn't good. | ||
| And they're pissed the fuck off right now that I'm saying that out loud. | ||
| And I don't care. | ||
| Because those deals came through me, and I turned it over to them. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| Well, I think managers are a lot like TV dance show hosts. | ||
| Some of them are really good. | ||
| Some of them are... | ||
| Some of them are not so good. | ||
| It's like everything else, man. | ||
| There's going to be people that are amazing at it, and there's going to be people that suck. | ||
| And I have the exact opposite experience as you. | ||
| I get like one or two every now and then come to me, but most of the offers that I get come through my management. | ||
| Never for me. | ||
| But they can't reach me either. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| I'm not available to other people. | ||
| If someone comes to me with an idea for a business, I'm like, I don't talk to people. | ||
| I got your cell phone. | ||
| I'm putting it on screen right now. | ||
| You're my friend. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| What I'm saying is business-wise, I think that there's a loyalty to a partnership. | ||
| But again, this is the comedian-management relationship. | ||
| Comedian-agent relationship. | ||
| It's a different relationship because I do a lot of live gigs. | ||
| I need someone to arrange everything. | ||
| That's probably a little different. | ||
| It's way different. | ||
| It's way different. | ||
| You're a TV personality. | ||
| And it's a different gig because then you're on television so people come to you and you're like, what are these management people doing for me? | ||
| They're just taking a piece of money I would already get. | ||
| I'm not upset about the money. | ||
| I would gladly pay it. | ||
| I'd probably pay double the amount if they brought me something. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They didn't bring me anything. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| I mean, I don't care about the feet. | ||
| It's a complicated world, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know your business. | ||
| Look at him getting all nervous now. | ||
| We're talking about agents. | ||
| I'm not nervous at all. | ||
| Dude, I've had the same agent forever. | ||
| I've had the same agent for 14 years, and I've had the same manager for 30, no, 29 years. | ||
| Kick-ass. | ||
| I'm just talking from my feelings about those kind of relationships. | ||
| Like, a lot of times people start thinking, you know, I deserve more, I'm bringing more. | ||
| I'm not who I am because of me entirely. | ||
| I'm who I am because of the relationships that I have with all these other people that have allowed me to be me. | ||
| Because I don't have to think. | ||
| I agree 100%. | ||
| I'm just saying that If something comes by way, then why do you pay if it came through you? | ||
| Well, because you don't want to do the fucking negotiation, man. | ||
| You let those other people handle it. | ||
| That's the whole idea. | ||
| Just because it comes to you, just because an opportunity comes to you from someone else, you don't want... | ||
| Those people that are with you, agents and managers... | ||
| You want them to work out the details. | ||
| And you should be happy. | ||
| Hey, this guy, he says he wants to do something. | ||
| Can he talk to you? | ||
| And then, boom, they talk to that person. | ||
| And you don't have to think. | ||
| If you had to think, the 10% that you would save by thinking about it, that money, that's real. | ||
| I don't even care about the 10%. | ||
| I just want somebody to actually work for me. | ||
| We have a different situation. | ||
| We're talking about two different things. | ||
| See, I'm defending my own personal situation, which is like very... | ||
| And I'm poo-pooing mine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mine is like, my people are family. | ||
| So it's like, I have to defend them. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| They're family. | ||
| Not a problem. | ||
| Like, legitimately. | ||
| They've been with me forever. | ||
| But I get it. | ||
| Look, the agent and manager situation with an artist is one of the most tumultuous, controversial relationships in all show business. | ||
| So, I was with CAA for many years. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah, CAA. I don't know what that stands for, but I can think of something. | ||
| But these fuckers did not even tell me that my agent no longer worked there. | ||
| I just quit getting any conversation. | ||
| For how long? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A year. | |
| So your agent that you had a relationship with... | ||
| Now he told me. | ||
| He goes, hey, I've been exited. | ||
| When did he tell you? | ||
| The day of. | ||
| And they didn't tell you for a whole year? | ||
| Never said a fucking word. | ||
| Never sent an email. | ||
| But did they think that he told you? | ||
| No. | ||
| To this day, they've never sent me an email. | ||
| They've never told me anything. | ||
| And you're still with them? | ||
| No, God, no. | ||
| I canceled my thing. | ||
| But they've never, ever done anything. | ||
| I mean, we're talking about the creative... | ||
| Artist agency. | ||
| Artist agency, yes. | ||
| So, they never even told me that he was gone, never told me shit, and never gave me any replacement. | ||
| Here's my thought on that. | ||
| I think that a lot of these places, like whether it's CAA or any big place, they have so many artists and so many deals and so many agents. | ||
| They just can't keep track. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| Do you have a manager? | ||
| I did. | ||
| He was a great guy. | ||
| His name is Antrinig. | ||
| My manager was awesome. | ||
| And my agent at CAA was great, Han Ship. | ||
| But CAA failed. | ||
| I mean, in a big way. | ||
| Here's how the relationship works with comedians. | ||
| You have a manager, and the manager talks to the agent. | ||
| The manager, hopefully, is with you forever. | ||
| That's my case. | ||
| And the agent... | ||
| I have a long relationship with my agent, but... | ||
| Agents are negotiable. | ||
| They move around. | ||
| They quit. | ||
| They leave. | ||
| They don't have a full-time relationship with you. | ||
| You have a relationship with the agency, but the relationship you have with the management company is permanent, essentially. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's a different deal. | ||
| But a lot of these places, whether it's figure out the name, whatever name you want, what they're doing is they're trying to accumulate as much talent as possible. | ||
| They want hundreds and hundreds of clients. | ||
| And then some of them work out and some of them don't. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| They just throw enough shit against the wall for the lack of a better metaphor. | ||
| And they hope the best stuff sticks. | ||
| And luckily, we are shiny shit. | ||
| We're shiny shit. | ||
| We're sticky shit. | ||
| We're sticky shit. | ||
| That's what we are. | ||
| But it's a fucking weird business for them, too. | ||
| I can't imagine being in a business where I relied on someone like me. | ||
| asshole that has not followed any rule ever that is somehow or another reasonably successful through some sort of strange method that no one understands and there's no like traditional pattern that you can follow that makes sense like a person who's a movie star or a television star. | ||
| I couldn't imagine working with me. | ||
| I couldn't imagine. | ||
| I mean, you're relying on me to pay your mortgage. | ||
| You're relying on me to be successful so that you can... | ||
| I don't want that job. | ||
| I don't want to rely... | ||
| Yeah, never. | ||
| Guys like you and I, we don't want to rely on other people. | ||
| But some people are really good at it. | ||
| I don't even want to rely on myself sometimes. | ||
| I'm like, fuck it. | ||
| That's the one thing I have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I rely on me. | |
| Alright. | ||
| So, where are we going from here? | ||
| Where are we going from here? | ||
| We just complained about show business during the pandemic. | ||
| Always a dangerous move. | ||
| Because most people are like, I just want to open up my fucking restaurant, you piece of shit. | ||
| Gym owners, man. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Those people are getting screwed over because the one place that people should be going to right now when there's a health crisis is a fucking gym and they're being shut down. | ||
| There's ways to get away from that and they're not letting them. | ||
| Just fucking such a weird time. | ||
| Just such a weird time to the point where it doesn't seem real. | ||
| Like, you wake up in the morning and, you know, you brush your teeth, you go, what is going on today? | ||
| What's going on in the world? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Absolutely nothing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| New Jersey gym, famed for defined COVID-19 lockdown, orders, fines, more than 1.2 million? | ||
| They're at 1.2 million? | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| How much are the fines? | ||
| Well, they said $1.2 million in fines. | ||
| The gym has more than 60 citations, totally more than $1.2 million, despite not having a single infection linked to the business after more than 83,000 visits. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, they're not going to have that problem with me because I don't go to the gym. | ||
| I've seen that guy. | ||
| That's the guy in New Jersey. | ||
| And what's going on with him is, he keeps saying, like, right there, fuck you, Murphy. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| The governor, Governor Murphy. | ||
| Okay, so it's $15,497.76 per day. | ||
| For a day? | ||
| Yeah, well, that's real logical. | ||
| Well, you should pay for a day. | ||
| I'll pay for one day. | ||
| If you'll pay for a day, I'll pay for a day. | ||
| Okay, we're in. | ||
| I'm not fucking kidding. | ||
| I'm not kidding either. | ||
| All right, done. | ||
| All right, we got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| I'll pay for one day. | ||
| $15,400 to that motherfucker. | ||
| Sold. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're paying for a day. | ||
| I feel like he's... | ||
| Put that on the post. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Me and Joe are paying for a day. | ||
| We put it on the internet. | ||
| It's better than a post. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| No, I'm not either. | ||
| I think that's a good thing to do. | ||
| And I think if we can get as many people who can chip in to chip in and pay this guy's fees. | ||
| Does he have a GoFundMe, Jamie? | ||
| He must. | ||
| Or he's so gangster he doesn't want one. | ||
| I freaking want a GoFundMe. | ||
| I ain't really bad. | ||
| I've got so many crazy ideas in my head. | ||
| They're like, what is this GoFundMe for? | ||
| What is this guy, does he have a GoFundMe? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That seems weird. | ||
| There's a we stand with their gym, but I don't think it's operated by them, so I don't know. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Someone else is profiting? | ||
| Someone just started it. | ||
| Yeah, you can start one for anybody. | ||
| If you could figure out where the money needs to go, I'm in and he's in. | ||
| Yeah, we're in. | ||
| I might have found one. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| We're in. | ||
| It seems like a good thing to be in on. | ||
| I found one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You did find one. | ||
| Let's put it up so people can see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit, he doesn't need our money! | |
| It's up to $352,000. | ||
| He needs our money. | ||
| He's got a $100,000 goal, but that's before he realized that he was up to $1.2 million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| That's so crazy. | ||
| So what is it? | ||
| GoFundMe... | ||
| It's spelled weird. | ||
| It's spelled A-T-I-L-I-S. B-E-L-M-A-W-R. I guess that's his name. | ||
| Court Relief. | ||
| And it's up to $350,000 out of $1.2 million. | ||
| Well, now it's up to $380,000. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| You and I just jumped in. | ||
| Other people should jump in too. | ||
| It's like, gyms are ridiculous to close down. | ||
| People are trying to get healthy, you fuck. | ||
| And you look at the, there's a pie chart they've showed of traceable COVID infections. | ||
| And the restaurant thing is so infuriating to restaurant owners because it's only 3%. | ||
| 3% out of 100, 3 are at these restaurants, but yet more people are getting infected at grocery stores, more people are getting infected at hotels, all these different places that are open and essential. | ||
| It happens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So, hey, they gotta go take a pee. | ||
| Go pee. | ||
| I knew it. | ||
| I saw the face of Tony Hinchcliffe the other day. | ||
| It was the same face. | ||
| The I have to pee face. | ||
| Go pee. | ||
| We'll be here when you come back. | ||
| Richard Rawlings, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| He's stretching. | ||
| No, I was actually pushing my man pants down. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| He needs to get himself some... | ||
| Whoa, why is there two doors here? | ||
| Yeah, we double door it. | ||
| He needs to get himself some RevTown jeans. | ||
| Motherfucker's got some bullshit jeans. | ||
| Oh, it's locked? | ||
| He couldn't get back in. | ||
| It'll be a while. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| How many years can you drink like that and just be fine? | ||
| Not all of that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Sorry, five beers deep. | ||
| That's enough for me for the day. | ||
| For the day? | ||
| That's enough for a couple of days. | ||
| That's called pre-gaming. | ||
| Well, it's also light. | ||
| These light beers, they don't seem to have the same kind of kick. | ||
| I had not discovered the trend until earlier this year. | ||
| The White Claw, the Stelzer. | ||
| Oh, you're banging a lot of chicks? | ||
| It was guys that were giving it to me. | ||
| I actually went to a football game and I was like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| It's like water. | ||
| White Claws. | ||
| White Claws. | ||
| You haven't had one, though, apparently. | ||
| Listen, look at me. | ||
| I got hair on my chest. | ||
| You see that? | ||
| Alright, alright. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I don't drink White Claw. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Meanwhile, I'm a big fan of Zima. | ||
| I used to like Zimas. | ||
| People give me so much of a hard time from Zima. | ||
| I'll bring back Zimas. | ||
| What happened to Zimas? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I was about to look, but... | ||
| It was like an alcoholic Sprite. | ||
| That's what this is. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Oh, White Claw's the same? | ||
| Yeah, it's like this... | ||
| I think the guy who started Mike Hard Lemonade, he's a very successful businessman. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| They just needed marketing. | ||
| You need Claw. | ||
| Zima's been gone since 2008 with a re-release two years ago somehow. | ||
| I was at the Improv in Hollywood and John Henson gave me so much shit for drinking a Zima. | ||
| I was like, they taste good. | ||
| Oh, Smirnoff Ice is what is that now? | ||
| Did you ever have one of those? | ||
| No, same thing. | ||
| That became a whole thing. | ||
| You get iced. | ||
| If I gave you one right now, you'd have to chug the whole thing or your pussy. | ||
| Well, whatever Terry Virts gave us, this Lafrig... | ||
| I don't even know how to say that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's Lafrig or Lafrig? | ||
| Lafrig? | ||
| This stuff's legit. | ||
| When I was serving at a restaurant, that'd be one of the ones I would go to for some business guys. | ||
| It's stiff. | ||
| It's stiff. | ||
| It's got this weird peaty sort of boggy fucking swamp taste. | ||
| That's how it's tasted for 75 years. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people love that. | ||
| You know who's got the best sort of peaty bog thing going on? | ||
| Oh, it's not even that. | ||
| It's really like a smoky. | ||
| It's that Josh Barnett shit. | ||
| Warmaster? | ||
| It's interesting how people like different styles of whiskey. | ||
| There's people that are whiskey taste testers the same way a sommelier is a wine tester. | ||
| I don't want to know. | ||
| Those are things that I don't want to know. | ||
| I don't want to have that knowledge. | ||
| Richard Rawlings, back, drain the dragon, back in action. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| More like a silly little rat at my age. | ||
| Drain the silly little rat. | ||
| When we get that spot with weed, that'll be a great day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Where you can have a weed sommelier, give you a nice little taste test. | ||
| I just like getting high. | ||
| I think people get a little too fucking wrapped up. | ||
| Do they have weed sommeliers? | ||
| That's because you get too high, but if you could just take one little taste of a little blueberry or something or another. | ||
| Can I have this? | ||
| Is that any good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Take some of that. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm scared, man. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| We're in Texas. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| You're protected. | ||
| There could be a good way. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| A little taste. | ||
| I don't care what it tastes like. | ||
| I'm just trying to get fucking blasted. | ||
| But with those... | ||
| They're going too far with the terpene. | ||
| I mean that. | ||
| So like if the mad scientist gets some terpene stuff, that can make, you know, like a steak taste better. | ||
| Well, you know, there was an article that came out today in the news feed that was showing that there's something in the flavors of vaping is what's fucking people up. | ||
| That it's not just vaping tobacco smell. | ||
| It's actually the flavors. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| Wait a second. | ||
| But I thought the vaping thing introduces too much liquid to your lung or some shit. | ||
| I think the issue, there's a multi-fold issue. | ||
| There's a quality issue. | ||
| Flavors added to vaping devices can damage the heart. | ||
| Yes, that's what I saw today. | ||
| The appealing array of fruit and candy flavors that entice millions of young people to take up vaping can harm their hearts. | ||
| A preclinical study by the University of South Florida. | ||
| Alright, it's already out the window. | ||
| It's fucking Florida University. | ||
| They're going down there to do coke and drink tequila. | ||
| You say that like it's a bad thing. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Mounting studies indicate that the nicotine and other chemicals delivered by vaping, while generally less toxic than conventional cigarettes, can damage the lungs and heart. | ||
| But so far, there has been no clear understanding about what happens when the vaporized flavoring molecules and flavored vaping products, after being inhaled, enter the bloodstream and reach the heart. | ||
| I think part of the issue is also that these motherfuckers are doing that shit all day. | ||
| I knew a kid who got really sick. | ||
| He had a real problem. | ||
| And he was a college kid. | ||
| He was 19. And he was vaping all day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't smoke weed all day. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| But vaping, there's something about... | ||
| It's also the quality of the oils that they're using to make the vape. | ||
| Like, they can use some shit quality and that stuff can... | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| It's an irritant for the inside of your lungs. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Unlike this alcohol. | ||
| Oh, this alcohol is good for you. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's so good for you. | ||
| I'm glad you agree. | ||
| How good does it feel to pee when you have to pee? | ||
| Oh, that was a good pee. | ||
| It's one of the most underrated pleasures. | ||
| You know, it's so underrated. | ||
| It's like sometimes you sit there and you're taking a pee and you're just like, wow, this feels really good. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| Yeah, when you really have to go and you finally get in, you're like, oh. | ||
| I don't know if I make that face or not. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I don't care if anybody's watching. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Are we lying? | ||
| Are we pretending we don't like this? | ||
| I like peeing. | ||
| Okay, I gotta look at this notes thing. | ||
| Do you have more? | ||
| Oh, I had a good one. | ||
| I'm afraid to even bring this one up because I don't think we should do it, but it is pretty funny. | ||
| Bring it up. | ||
| Cardi B's song. | ||
| What Ass Pussy? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I didn't listen to it. | ||
| Okay, so I've been challenged by somebody on my... | ||
| Hard Ass Dick? | ||
| You got a Hard Ass Dick song? | ||
| Not right now. | ||
| Swamp Ass? | ||
| No, but I've been challenged. | ||
| Somebody said that you guys need to recite the lyrics. | ||
| Whoever challenged you that needs... | ||
| To die. | ||
| Get off Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, to die. | ||
| Just go out and run. | ||
| Okay, and then... | ||
| Start doing push-ups. | ||
| And then tattoos. | ||
| Who do we got in town? | ||
| Have you gotten a tattoo here in Austin yet? | ||
| I have not gotten a tattoo in Austin. | ||
| You've got to do that. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of good tattooists, though. | ||
| Okay, so... | ||
| There's a lot of good artists in general. | ||
| Food artists, a lot of good chefs. | ||
| Every artist is down there. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of great musicians. | ||
| Yeah, this is everything down here in Austin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's art, it's food, it's... | |
| Everything in the world. | ||
| So if there's a good tattoo person out there, I would like to go get a tattoo this evening. | ||
| This evening? | ||
| Well, the problem is the show's not going to come out until tomorrow, so we're going to have to put it on Twitter. | ||
| But if you put it on Twitter or Instagram... | ||
| Well, I've got to stay until tomorrow because you said I'm going to dinner with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put up your tattoos, take a photo of it, put it on Instagram, and say, hey, I'm in Austin. | ||
| I'm here for a couple days. | ||
| I need a fucking tattoo. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah, that's pretty cool. | ||
| It's better than Cardi B one. | ||
| If I knew how to work that. | ||
| Just put it on Instagram. | ||
| You're free from Discovery Channel Clutches. | ||
| Let's just talk about the last line of the song. | ||
| Aren't you free? | ||
| Like macaroni in a pot. | ||
| I didn't listen to the song. | ||
| You could be making things up. | ||
| I did not know. | ||
| You'd be like, the cat in the hat. | ||
| The Grinch stole Christmas. | ||
| I don't know what it says. | ||
| How does he steal Christmas? | ||
| He's near Whoville. | ||
| Didn't steal it for the whole world. | ||
| Okay, so my new big thing I was going to ask about this is, you know, you're saying you want 1,000 acres. | ||
| Yeah, around there. | ||
| 1,000, 2,000. | ||
| See, I want an expedition vehicle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Like what kind? | ||
| Well, there's a company called Earth Roamer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, we featured them many times. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| They make some dope shit. | ||
| I want one of those. | ||
| They make, like, million-dollar vehicles. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to pay that. | ||
| Yeah, you shouldn't. | ||
| But... | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| I do want one of those fuckers. | ||
| I think you can make that. | ||
| You don't... | ||
| Do you need a company? | ||
| Well, I couldn't do the extruded... | ||
| Mm. | ||
| The body. | ||
| The body. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That is a pandemic vehicle if I ever saw one. | ||
| So I want one of those fuckers and I want to drive around. | ||
| I would love to drive from Dallas, Texas all the way to Brazil. | ||
| Oh Jesus, you're gonna get killed. | ||
| What kind of gas tank does that thing have? | ||
| Well, I would assume it's a regular guest. | ||
| Scroll up. | ||
| Look at the interior. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See, mine wouldn't look like that. | ||
| It'd have all plush. | ||
| Go full screen. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I'd have plush pillows. | ||
| Look at that fucking place, though, man. | ||
| That is so amazing. | ||
| Yeah, and I don't even know this company, so I'm not even punting them for freaking money. | ||
| No, I don't know them either, but we've talked about them multiple times. | ||
| I want one of these things. | ||
| We've talked about them how many times, Jamie? | ||
| Six? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, this is an actual podcast fan. | |
| This is amazing. | ||
| I want one of those things. | ||
| So if you're listening to Earth Roamer, I need it for free. | ||
| There's certain people that get to a certain point in their life where they're like, why am I just staying in one spot? | ||
| I just want to live. | ||
| I just want to drive around. | ||
| Go see Moab. | ||
| Go see upstate New York. | ||
| Nobody goes there, but let's pretend. | ||
| And go see... | ||
| 115 gallons of diesel. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a giant tank, man. | ||
| God, that's so much money to fill it, though. | ||
| 115's not a giant tank. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| We had 26 in our original tank and then 40 in our backup tank for the Cannonball Run. | ||
| So, about half. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Listen, that's a lot of fucking gas. | ||
| Next level in luxury overland vehicles. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| If you're one of those people that just doesn't want to live in an apartment, you just want to travel around. | ||
| Dude, fuck that. | ||
| You get one of those, and you go take the Joe Rogan experience on the road. | ||
| You're meeting with different people and different pieces of life. | ||
| I'm busy. | ||
| Good luck with that, Richard Rawlings. | ||
| And your gas monkey experience on the road. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Because I'm not doing that. | ||
| I wouldn't mind doing it like what Jamie said with a van, knowing it can't go that far. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Take that van to a comedy show. | ||
| You're going to go from Austin to San Antonio to Houston to San Antonio to Dallas. | ||
| Holy shit, look how expensive they are. | ||
| These are used, pre-roamed, they call it. | ||
| Wow, 580 grand for a used one? | ||
| Click on that bitch. | ||
| Yeah, get you some of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Look how pretty that is, though. | ||
| It's got 36,000 miles, they want 580 grand. | ||
| That seems a little pricey. | ||
| But it's pretty nice. | ||
| So what is it new? | ||
| Oh, shit, 750, 800. Gun safe in the back cabinet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| In the bunk cabinet. | ||
| Built-in wine rack for the ladies. | ||
| Oh, they got a FLIR infrared camera to spot UFOs. | ||
| What are your thoughts on UFOs, Richard? | ||
| Do you really want to know? | ||
| yes I shit how do I say this without sounding like a complete insane motherfucker Um... | ||
| I don't even know how. | ||
| Just say it. | ||
| Take another swig and say it. | ||
| I think that there are UFOs. | ||
| Do you think there are aliens? | ||
| There's a lot of things that are unidentified, but it could be Russian, Chinese. | ||
| I do. | ||
| But I also don't think that we were ever landed on the moon. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I went on that trip for a long time. | ||
| I don't believe we did. | ||
| I don't think we landed on the moon for a long time. | ||
| How did you change? | ||
| I abandoned it. | ||
| Talking to smart people that actually have enough data about what happened. | ||
| It's not that it's impossible that it was faked. | ||
| It's that I really have no business saying it was faked. | ||
| Because if anybody's going to trust me about anything... | ||
| Ever. | ||
| I have to be honest about everything. | ||
| And if I'm honest about that, I have not put enough time or effort into actually understanding and studying all the data that's available that indicates that we did go to the moon. | ||
| I think it's fun and it's enticing to just say, I don't think we went to the moon. | ||
| And I've done that. | ||
| And I've even argued it successfully based on a lot of different variables. | ||
| But I think at the end of the day, I don't really know what I'm talking about unless I want to, like, study. | ||
| Like, deeply, deeply study. | ||
| What they did, how they figured out how to get people on the moon, how they figured out how to get people back. | ||
| Unless I want to do that, I really should shut the fuck up. | ||
| That's what I really think. | ||
| I really think that because I think it's a complex issue, and I think it's so simple to look at a complex issue and just say, I believe this, or I believe that. | ||
| But you really shouldn't say that unless there's a reason why you believe something. | ||
| And sometimes people believe things because it sounds more fun or because it's more convenient or because they're more conspiratorially oriented. | ||
| It seems like more exciting to believe in the conspiracy. | ||
| All the things that I'm saying don't mean that conspiracies don't exist or don't mean even that that conspiracy doesn't exist. | ||
| But it's just that if you want to call bullshit, you should know what you're talking about. | ||
| And I don't. | ||
| That's the reality. | ||
| I agree with you 100%. | ||
| So my rebuttal is completely different. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We are hunters and gatherers at our core from the beginning of human. | ||
| And if we went to someplace that no one else has ever gone, we would not stop. | ||
| We would keep going there and we would take it over even if it was worthless because we just want at our core being. | ||
| And so my thought process is not are they wrong? | ||
| Did they lie? | ||
| My thought process is if that really happened, then We'd have W Hotel on the moon right now. | ||
| Here's how I like to look at things. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| And what you're saying is, if we would have bumped, we would have definitely bumped. | ||
| Here's what I say. | ||
| There's a high likelihood that if we went to the moon, that we would continue to explore space and we would advance on the type of travel that we use to go to the moon. | ||
| But we're not. | ||
| And you look at when Kennedy said, we will land a man on the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy but because they are hard. | ||
| In 1969, you know, when they landed a man on the moon, cars drove like shit, TVs were useless, there was so much technology that was nonsense. | ||
| In 2020, we still can't really put a man on the moon right now. | ||
| That doesn't mean they didn't put a man on the moon. | ||
| This is what I used to think. | ||
| I used to think it meant they didn't put a man on the moon. | ||
| But now what I think is it's very expensive and very difficult to put a man on the moon. | ||
| Did they do it at one point in time? | ||
| They said they did, and I don't know if they did or didn't, realistically. | ||
| But I do know that they haven't invested the same kind of money that they used to win the space race against the Russians. | ||
| They haven't invested that kind of money in the same way, like with this competitive American spirit behind it. | ||
| They haven't done that since. | ||
| And that's allegedly what allowed them to get to the moon and to do it before the Russians could. | ||
| Even though the Russians were the first people in space, the Russians had all these different firsts. | ||
| First man in space, first animal in space, first satellite in space. | ||
| There was a monkey, by the way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the first man in space, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But even the first man in space, I believe they put a man in space. | ||
| But the problem with their claim is they released video footage that... | ||
| What was the guy's name? | ||
| Yuri... | ||
| I'm trying to remember the first guy in space. | ||
| But the footage that they used, what they showed on television, was 100% bullshit. | ||
| The footage was like a recreation of this guy in space. | ||
| Because there's shadows, so there's a light here and a light here. | ||
| But the actual module, whatever the capsule was, they launched him into space. | ||
| It was way too small to have a conventional camera from 1967 or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| Well, I think we've been to space. | ||
| I just don't know about that. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| We definitely have been to space. | ||
| The question is, have they gone all the way to another body like the moon and returned? | ||
| My argument's solid. | ||
| We're hunters and gatherers. | ||
| We would have taken... | ||
| It's not really a good argument. | ||
| Here's why it's not a good argument. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Because the hunters and gatherers really didn't advance for hundreds of thousands of years. | ||
| What happened is agriculture. | ||
| Agriculture allowed people to establish cities. | ||
| Cities allowed people to build up walls so the enemy couldn't get in that easy. | ||
| And then it allowed people to think. | ||
| During that thinking, that's when people advanced technology and literature and their understanding of the world itself. | ||
| That's where Galileo came up with his ideas about the universe itself and that the Earth wasn't the center of that universe. | ||
| It's not a hunter and gatherer thing. | ||
| It's actually step removed from hunter and gatherer, which is Agriculture. | ||
| Agriculture which allows cities and these places where people can be safe and they have accumulated supplies of food so they can think about things. | ||
| So this is what's required to go to the moon. | ||
| The hunter-gatherer thing, this is why it falls apart because hunter and gatherers would never go to the fucking moon in the first place. | ||
| You have to stay alive. | ||
| You have to feed your kids. | ||
| You have time to spend a couple of weeks flying to another fucking rock that's hovering over the earth. | ||
| Not true. | ||
| You want to take over. | ||
| And on top of that... | ||
| But hunter-gatherers do not understand. | ||
| On top of that, do you know that the moon's atmosphere is the most perfect for glowing the most perfect bud in the world? | ||
| Says who? | ||
| Oh, I just said it. | ||
| There's no air up there. | ||
| Oh, it's so good, bud. | ||
| No, it's not true. | ||
| If you could get bud on the moon. | ||
| But there's no oxygen. | ||
| Plants convert oxygen. | ||
| They convert carbon dioxide to oxygen. | ||
| They would release oxygen. | ||
| So they'd need some carbon dioxide. | ||
| There's no air. | ||
| There's no nothing. | ||
| There's no gases. | ||
| Throw a few shipping containers up there. | ||
| Put some lights in it and get after it. | ||
| Bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You need more than that. | ||
| You need giant tanks of gases that are native to Earth that don't exist on the moon. | ||
| I see what you're saying about the hunter-gatherer thing, and I see how you think that way. | ||
| We're conquerors. | ||
| We would go and take it. | ||
| Hunter-gatherers were not the conquerors, man. | ||
| There'd be a Hotel Zaza up there. | ||
| We'd go up there and hang out and dip in the pool. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe, but maybe not. | ||
| Maybe they would be too busy with the Cold War. | ||
| Maybe they'd be too busy with all the different problems they had with the Vietnam War. | ||
| Maybe they would be too busy trying to fund education and healthcare. | ||
| They don't have the money to fucking keep putting people on the moon. | ||
| Maybe it's so expensive. | ||
| They just can't do it all the time. | ||
| I don't think it is. | ||
| There would have to be a reason where you can make real money doing it. | ||
| And therein lies the problem. | ||
| And a lot of people think that's also why they canceled the shuttle program. | ||
| But again, you're talking to a fucking idiot. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Actually, I was talking to two of us. | ||
| Two idiots. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| Space Adventures is charging $150 million per seat, a price that includes months of ground-based testing, although this is on a fly-by mission. | ||
| Bullshit! | ||
| It would not land on the moon. | ||
| It's got 77 million views? | ||
| Space tourism. | ||
| So, 150 million per seat for space tourism, and then Virgin Space was like 250 to go into orbit, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think that's like up and down a couple of times. | ||
| Yeah, it just goes around the Earth a few times, like a half hour. | ||
| Yeah, you just go higher than the other planes. | ||
| It's supposed to be mine. | ||
| I had Terry Virts on last week. | ||
| He spent 200 days in the space station. | ||
| We talk to those dudes, and they talk about, like, there's me before I went to space, and there's me. | ||
| I haven't got to watch that yet, but I heard it's insane. | ||
| It's just a heavy thing to be in space for hundreds of days. | ||
| There's Blue Origin, which is Amazon's project. | ||
| It's like a big balloon I kind of think you go up in, I think. | ||
| I don't like how he's ripping off my boyfriend, Elon Musk. | ||
| Seems like he's lying about things. | ||
| Would he just go straight up and then come down? | ||
| Yeah, more or less. | ||
| There's a video of him in Elon, and Elon, like years before, like accomplishing things, and then Jeff Bezos say they're going to be the first to accomplish things after Elon's already done it. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| But I'm glad that he's doing it. | ||
| I'm glad that there's rich people that blow money doing crazy shit. | ||
| New Glenn. | ||
| If you're rich, you have to. | ||
| I mean, that's what cuts the path for the future. | ||
| Go back to him. | ||
| Raise hell. | ||
| A really big step. | ||
| An orbital, reusable launch vehicle that will build a road to space. | ||
| You got $150 billion. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You're a guy like Jeff Bezos? | ||
| $150 billion? | ||
| Hot girlfriend? | ||
| No! | ||
| You think she's hot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that. | |
| Yeah, I like her. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know what you think she's hot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Oh... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm just going to say no. | ||
| Tourism on the moon, no. | ||
| No, she's not that hot. | ||
| She's a lovely lady. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I didn't say she was a good person or not. | ||
| She might not be as hot as your wife. | ||
| She looks good, though. | ||
| She's not as hot as my wife. | ||
| She looks good. | ||
| My wife is hot. | ||
| I mean, Jesus. | ||
| How many years would have to go by before you get a coronavirus vaccine and then take a tour of the moon? | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| How many people would have to do it successfully before you'd be like, I'm in? | ||
| I'm not against any of it. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a bad guy. | ||
| I'm just thinking, fuck. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're a bad guy. | ||
| Let's just shoot some shit in you. | ||
| You know what the biggest thing, especially with you and me, we have to travel. | ||
| We just gave up our DNA. What, with the nose swab? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gave up your DNA. Yeah. | ||
| You give up your DNA every time you leave a Starbucks cop in the fucking garbage. | ||
| Well, this is true. | ||
| Yeah, listen. | ||
| Don't worry about your DNA. Who's out there scratching up your DNA? The problem is, like, who's collecting it? | ||
| What are they doing with it? | ||
| It's like, this is the funniest thing. | ||
| You'll like this, being a comedian. | ||
| I was being interviewed. | ||
| When my first show was coming on. | ||
| So it was Monday morning. | ||
| My show was going to come on that night. | ||
| And it was going to be... | ||
| First show ever. | ||
| First show ever. | ||
| You know, it was fast and loud, episode one. | ||
| And the lady's interviewing me that morning at the local news, Channel 8 in Dallas. | ||
| She goes, so, you know, you grew up here in Dallas-Fort Worth. | ||
| Do you have any kids? | ||
| And I said... | ||
| Well, we'll find out in the morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the whole little room of newsroom people were like, oh shit, what do we do with that? | |
| Yeah, that's stand-up comedy talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, there was no extra kids, only my one kid Chandler. | ||
| So, I did good that day. | ||
| What does this have to do with vaccines and putting people on the moon? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It has nothing to do with vaccines and putting people on the moon. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| How many years would have to go by before people were doing commercial space flight before you decided to just take a take a shot? | ||
| See what's up? | ||
| I think it could happen tomorrow. | ||
| If somebody like comes to you with a solid concept, we're gonna put you in space, bring you right back down to Earth? | ||
| I don't think space is as big a deal right now. | ||
| I think that it's a big business. | ||
| And the fact that all the richest people in the world are in it, prove it, you know. | ||
| That'd be like saying, oh my gosh, you can't ship this package. | ||
| It's going to be $5,000 on FedEx. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| The fact that the richest guys in the world are in it means it's very cheap and you can get the hell out of here. | ||
| Is that what it means? | ||
| I think it means there's a lot of benefit in being one of the people that innovates in space travel. | ||
| If you could come up with a thing where you send people into space and every time you do it you could charge someone a hundred grand and you get like a million people a year to give up a hundred grand and go flying into space. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking money. | ||
| It's only a hundred million dollars. | ||
| A million people? | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't want to talk about your past or anything. | ||
| No, it's not a hundred. | ||
| It's a hundred thousand. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a hundred million. | ||
| That's a hundred billion. | ||
| Well, that's when you start moving commas and not zeros. | ||
| Well, that's when you do math. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, like, if you're Jeff Bezos and you can make a hundred billion doing that... | ||
| I mean, you wouldn't make $100 billion. | ||
| What if you make $50 every year just putting people into space? | ||
| That seems very valuable. | ||
| It's going to become a commodity very quickly. | ||
| Yeah, putting people in space. | ||
| But space is just a high-flying airplane. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if people are willing to spend a lot of money doing it, and then if you can figure out a way to escape Earth's gravity and land on Mars, or land on Europa, on one of the moons, I'll wait to see it. | ||
| What if you could figure out a way to fucking fly around Venus and come back home? | ||
| What the fuck is the point? | ||
| The point is the experience. | ||
| Just like the point of going to Everest. | ||
| Is the point being at the highest spot? | ||
| Who gives a fuck if you went to the highest spot? | ||
| Nobody gives a shit. | ||
| But the point is the experience. | ||
| The experience of going there and knowing that it's a difficult thing to do. | ||
| It gives you an unusual vision. | ||
| An unusual perspective. | ||
| An experience that few people rarely see. | ||
| Ad blocker, you motherfucker. | ||
| Gotta disable ad blocker, son. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| Tickets to Mars will eventually cost less than $500,000, Elon Musk says. | ||
| Well, thank you, Elon. | ||
| What a bargain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a bargain. | |
| Only a half a million? | ||
| I could fly all the way around the fucking earth and stop 72 times for 500 grand. | ||
| But if they really do get to that point, and they probably will. | ||
| Look, if you go back to the invention of the first automobile in like the 1800s, and then you look at what they can do today with like a... | ||
| Jamie has a Tesla Model X. They go, shut the fuck up, bro. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| They go 0-60 so fast it doesn't seem right. | ||
| And it's a SUV. They're so fast. | ||
| Have you driven one? | ||
| Did you see the ludicrous mode? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like this plus actually. | ||
| Have you driven one like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're preposterous. | ||
| They're so fast. | ||
| It is insane. | ||
| So you go from that old car that was like, you know, fucking 20 horsepower to what he's got. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Now go a thousand years from now. | ||
| There's no way you can guess. | ||
| And if you look at what we can do right now, if commercial space flight is a real thing and they're flying people into orbit, There is no doubt in my mind that whatever the amount of time it is, whether it's 50 years or 100 years from now, they're going to absolutely have spaceflight to Mars and bring people home. | ||
| They'll probably come up with some new propulsion system, some fucking wild, crazy shit that we haven't even thought of before, and they'll change everything. | ||
| It's not going to happen with this giant go-straight-up. | ||
| It's going to have to be something that circumnavigates and gains speed. | ||
| Alien technology. | ||
| Nah, I don't know about alien technology, but it's going to have to be something that circumnavigates and gains speed. | ||
| As long as you say circumnavigates, I think you know what you're talking about. | ||
| Imagine being at NASA. What you guys need to do is fucking circumnavigate. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Get it around. | ||
| It's not going to go straight up, boys. | ||
| Never go straight up. | ||
| The Earth spins. | ||
| You've got to go with the spin of the Earth. | ||
| Never go straight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go forward. | |
| It doesn't go straight. | ||
| It looks like it's going straight. | ||
| But it goes straight in relationship to where you're standing, but not in relationship to the way the Earth's spinning and the way the fucking planets are aligned. | ||
| It's all complicated. | ||
| Another fucking ad pop-up. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| It just doesn't even work anymore. | ||
| I thought you were supposed to be really good at this. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| That's not the problem. | ||
| The problem is pop-up ads. | ||
| NASA is launching a 4G mobile network on the moon. | ||
| Yeah, well, when I have 6G, I'm not going to settle for 4G on the moon, you fucks. | ||
| That's like getting 1X in the Amazon. | ||
| Who the fuck's getting it on the moon? | ||
| Assholes. | ||
| How many customers are on the moon right now? | ||
| Jeff Bezos is gonna be with that girl that you don't even like on the moon. | ||
| I just wasn't impressed with her. | ||
| Drinking martinis. | ||
| I mean, if I was worth, you know, hundreds of billions of dollars, I think I could do better. | ||
| I gotta pee, too. | ||
| So we can either wrap this up or I could pee and we keep going. | ||
| Well, I don't care. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| You gonna fucking dare me? | ||
| What, you got your notes? | ||
| Oh, I'm just picking up my... | ||
| Have you thought about what I said about space travel? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And I'm not disagreeing. | ||
| What I'm telling you is, as a race, we take over shit. | ||
| We try. | ||
| We go and grab shit. | ||
| We take over it. | ||
| We fight about it. | ||
| We say, this is our land. | ||
| This is your land. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If we'd have been to the moon, we'd be up there. | ||
| The argument is that every single technological achievement from 1969 is easier, cheaper, and faster to reproduce today except going to the moon. | ||
| That's the argument. | ||
| I say wrong because I was born in 69. That was fucking cheap. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The argument is that everything from then you could do cheaper today and easier. | ||
| Like televisions. | ||
| Yeah, but they say you can't. | ||
| Well, they didn't work at it. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| It's the only thing they didn't work at. | ||
| The only other things they didn't work at is like... | ||
| How much innovation have there been in air flight? | ||
| In commercial air travel? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| Propellers? | ||
| It's been 100 years, right? | ||
| No, 69 they were already flying jets. | ||
| When did they start flying jets? | ||
| Oh, I guess, yeah. | ||
| They stopped sort of, I guess, with the Concorde. | ||
| That thing killed a lot of rich people. | ||
| Or they're not telling us how far they made it into space. | ||
| Well, the Concorde killed people that they can't kill. | ||
| What was that, getting you to France in like two hours or something? | ||
| Something crazy? | ||
| Couldn't have gone faster, they just kept it there? | ||
| Or no? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think the thing that happened to them was on the runway. | ||
| I think it lost a wheel or something on the runway and killed a bunch of rich people. | ||
| Or ran into a tire. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| It says low passenger numbers and rising maintenance costs. | ||
| I mean, it was kind of expensive, wasn't it? | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I mean, it's going supersonic speeds, you know? | ||
| I mean, how the fuck does it not break? | ||
| Eh, it wasn't that bad. | ||
| What wasn't that bad? | ||
| The price. | ||
| I thought, for some reason in my head, I thought it was like... | ||
| A ticket? | ||
| Thousands and thousands of dollars. | ||
| How much was the ticket? | ||
| Since the fare was about $500 or just over $1,000. | ||
| In what year? | ||
| When did they stop? | ||
| 1990? | ||
| 1990. That's kind of crazy. | ||
| That was the Concord. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Stopped in 2000. That's kind of crazy if you think about progression. | ||
| Like, in... | ||
| 2000, you could fly at supersonic speeds commercially. | ||
| You can't do that now. | ||
| So that kind of throws a monkey wrench into the idea that things always get better. | ||
| Because they don't always. | ||
| When they cost too much money, they don't always get better. | ||
| I don't think it costs too much money. | ||
| They were complaining about the sound and the sonic boom. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but I think there was also a danger of it. | ||
| The last flight, I think a bunch of people died that were very wealthy. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Only 13? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a little more than 13. That's fucking serious. | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of them were very wealthy. | ||
| I think when you get hit with those lawsuits, like... | ||
| So that's one of those things that from 2000 to 2020 did not get better. | ||
| It actually stopped. | ||
| It's a lot of money to get people on the fucking moon. | ||
| It's just one of those things where I think eventually they'll get to space tourism and it'll expand past the moon, it'll go to Mars, and it's going to happen. | ||
| But it might happen 100 years from now. | ||
| It might happen 200 years from now. | ||
| We might be shocked at how long it takes. | ||
| Well, then you're pleading my case right there. | ||
| Why am I playing your case? | ||
| Because we haven't been there. | ||
| Might have did it once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Might have did it once with a bunch of fucking cowboys. | ||
| Okay, you went to high school or even elementary school in the 70s, right? | ||
| And you studied history. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Have you ever seen a picture of the flag on the moon? | ||
| Of course I have. | ||
| No, through a telescope. | ||
| Oh, me? | ||
| Do you know they don't have telescopes that can actually see that clearly on the moon? | ||
| Yes, they can. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Do you know how telescopes work? | ||
| They don't work that way. | ||
| There's a long distance thing, and then there's a close distance thing. | ||
| You could use magnifying things like binoculars and telescopes that are low magnification, and you can get a good image of something that's not too far away. | ||
| But then when they started getting too far away... | ||
| Yes, the flag is still on the moon, but you can't see it using a telescope. | ||
| The Hubble is not pointed at the flag. | ||
| But this is why. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| The Hubble Space Telescope is only 2.4 meters in diameter, much too small. | ||
| Resolving the larger lunar rover, which has a length of 3.1 meters, would still require a telescope 75 meters in diameter. | ||
| So we're the most badass country in the fucking world. | ||
| And we put a man on the moon and he planted a fucking flag. | ||
| And we ain't showing that off? | ||
| I mean, because as a country, we're like Burt Reynolds. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| We're going to show off. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
| But did you read what that thing just said? | ||
| I get your country wisdom where you're looking at it and you're like, if we had this, we would have that. | ||
| But if you look at that thing, it's saying that the Hubble only has a thing that's 2.4 meters and you need something much larger. | ||
| Was it 75? | ||
| 75 meters, which is almost a football field size to be able to see what's on the moon. | ||
| They didn't have the Hubble before. | ||
| They didn't have the ability to take these high definition images of things that were way far away. | ||
| Now they do. | ||
| But to have something that gets really close to things, you need something that's even more potent. | ||
| It's all for people not like you or me. | ||
| We're arguing about shit that we don't study. | ||
| That's what the problem is. | ||
| I don't even care about it, to tell you the truth. | ||
| I'm just telling you. | ||
| Well, you brought it up on a podcast. | ||
| A million people are listening. | ||
| I'm totally screwed now. | ||
| Whatever I said to the moon people. | ||
| The gas monkey barn grill guy that you're in a fucking argument with, he's going to bring that to court. | ||
| Fuck that fucker. | ||
| I told you, this guy's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that guy. | |
| He thinks Neil Armstrong's a liar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, what's next, sir? | ||
| Aliens. | ||
| I don't care about aliens. | ||
| You think they're paying attention? | ||
| Personally, I don't. | ||
| If you were an alien, wouldn't you be fascinated by hot rod culture? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| I would. | ||
| I met an old guy a long time ago, and he put it to me the right way. | ||
| He goes, what if you're just... | ||
| A experiment in a young kid's school project. | ||
| What if all this that you built is basically an amp form that you have in your head and you're just an amp form in somebody else's head and somebody else's head? | ||
| It's kind of like the Matrix. | ||
| I don't know if that defines us, but it is kind of interesting. | ||
| I mean, you can't think that you're the only thing out there or we're the only thing out here. | ||
| If we are an ant farm and we don't know that we're an ant farm and we're living and we understand how the ant farm works... | ||
| The real problem is if the owner of the ant farm shows up. | ||
| Up until then, we're just living. | ||
| If this really is some complex ant farm for people, we're having fun. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem. | ||
| We got some weed. | ||
| We got some drinks. | ||
| We're having fun. | ||
| We're making money. | ||
| Talking about cars. | ||
| Talking shit. | ||
| Everything's fine. | ||
| The real problem is if the ant farm owner shows up. | ||
| That's the problem with these fucking UFOs that keep showing up. | ||
| The ones the New York Times puts on the front page of their newspaper. | ||
| Is that a real newspaper? | ||
| Yeah, it's a real paper. | ||
| They do it in New York State. | ||
| It's a city called Manhattan. | ||
| Well, no, I've been there. | ||
| I just don't know about New York Times being a paper. | ||
| Well, they're more often a paper than they are not. | ||
| Sometimes they fuck things up, but they're more often accurate than not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They were more accurate in the past than they are now. | ||
| Now they are ideologically driven. | ||
| They tend to be a bit woke, but they're still probably the best newspaper on earth. | ||
| Did you say woke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Woke. | ||
| You know. | ||
| Woke. | ||
| There's rules. | ||
| You know. | ||
| The work. | ||
| Woke rules. | ||
| You don't give a fuck about those, right? | ||
| I do not. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| But do you think that aliens have visited? | ||
| I'm going to give it a 50-50. | ||
| I'm going to probably lean towards yes. | ||
| Is this anything you think about on a regular basis? | ||
| Only when I'm jacking off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that alien pussy, you know what I'm saying? | |
| You want to duck me, motherfucker? | ||
| Come get some! | ||
| Come get some! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Could be sideways. | |
| Who knows? | ||
| Alien pussy. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine if that was a trick. | ||
| I mean, if aliens are smart enough to figure out what we find attractive, they would just tune into that in the most perfect way. | ||
| Like, find out some things that we're attracted to that we didn't even know. | ||
| And just bring it to us. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, if they can read... | ||
| That's the coolest shit I've ever seen! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| I mean, like, fish lures. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Do you fish? | ||
| I have. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There's some fish lures that don't look anything like a fucking fish. | ||
| They don't look like anything a fish would eat. | ||
| Like a crankbait, or no, a spinnerbait. | ||
| You know what a spinnerbait is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Yeah, it's got the big crazy tail, and then the other thing next to it is spinning around. | ||
| Through the water, yeah. | ||
| Jamie, show a spinnerbait video. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| Pull it through the water, it's spinning. | ||
| Yeah, and it drives a largemouth bass fucking crazy. | ||
| They see that thing and they're like, God damn it, I can't take it anymore. | ||
| I set the lake record at Lake Granbury in 1978 or 1979 for a largemouth bass with a spinning oar. | ||
| How big was it? | ||
| I want to say it was like 13 pounds. | ||
| It was a big fish. | ||
| That's a big fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd have to go back. | ||
| I have the clipping, so I will go back and post this at a later date. | ||
| That's a fucking hell of a fish. | ||
| Yeah, I have the clipping where I'm holding it like this. | ||
| You got anything, Jamie? | ||
| That's just showing people using them, not like in action. | ||
| Spinner bait in action? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| Well, just show a picture of a spinner bait. | ||
| Just give me an image of it. | ||
| Just so people can see. | ||
| This thing is nothing like anything that a fish... | ||
| Oh, there he is. | ||
| So, like, it's almost like a little fish chasing an octopus. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's such a weird device. | ||
| But largemouth bass go fucking crazy. | ||
| What if aliens figure out some sort of a version of that for people? | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You feel me? | ||
| They will. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, what if what we find attractive, they go, oh, I don't know. | ||
| You don't even know what you think is actually attractive. | ||
| You want a chick with, not regular tits, but teeth. | ||
| Just chomping teeth. | ||
| You know, like, whatever. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Don't fuck with my tit world. | ||
| You saw my girl out there. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I love boobs. | ||
| Let's talk, let's say eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Extra eyeballs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Would they be scrutinizing? | ||
| A man likes a woman with warm, accepting, seductive eyeballs. | ||
| What if she's got four of them? | ||
| I wouldn't trust her. | ||
| You get used to it. | ||
| No, I couldn't do it. | ||
| You'd be like, no way. | ||
| But if they were running this ant farm and they figured that out, that would be our issue. | ||
| You alright? | ||
| Jamie's leaving us. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Oh, I think they're bringing in coffee. | ||
| Well, now we can fuck shit up. | ||
| So we can... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dad's gone. | ||
| Yeah, James is gone. | ||
| Let's talk about some cool shit. | ||
| Let's talk about Jamie's sneaker issues. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Who needs coffee? | ||
| I'll bring this off. | ||
| Who needs it? | ||
| Me. | ||
| I eventually have to get out of here. | ||
| On the road again. | ||
| Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. | ||
| I can't wait to get on the road again. | ||
| So do you have a, for the people that are following you, like your fans at home, do you have a map of when they can expect all this new content, these new ideas? | ||
| No, actually, I haven't even told anybody until today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cheers. | |
| Cheers, sir. | ||
| You haven't at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've been very quiet about it. | ||
| Well, cat's out of the bag, sir. | ||
| The cat is out of the bag. | ||
| I'm unemployed, desperate. | ||
| Trying to find a show. | ||
| Just don't know what I'm going to do. | ||
| It's a good time. | ||
| It's a good time for transitions. | ||
| Shit to get weird, you know? | ||
| This is a good time. | ||
| The whole world's weird. | ||
| It forces people to figure out what's the best version of what they want to do. | ||
| Well, you know, none of my competition, if there was any competition, is passing me up. | ||
| Because they ain't working either. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's not, really. | ||
| That's the point, right? | ||
| There's not much to do. | ||
| As far as TV with you, in podcasts, you're the very top of the line. | ||
| And in my world, I'm kind of the top of the line. | ||
| I know that sounds like an asshole statement. | ||
| No, but it's true, though. | ||
| But it's true. | ||
| Isn't it funny that you got there from personality? | ||
| That is really what it is. | ||
| It's love of the thing, but it's also personality. | ||
| Personality got you there. | ||
| You ever had coffee and tequila? | ||
| Have I? Yes, I have. | ||
| That's good for you. | ||
| So, I'm lucky enough to be where I'm at, lucky enough to be going through the experience that I'm in, and kind of enjoy it, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just have to wait and watch. | |
| Spilt a lot of shit on your table, but I don't care. | ||
| It's good for the table. | ||
| But isn't it good to have things happen where you don't really know what the future holds? | ||
| It gives you energy. | ||
| It makes you energized. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It's the coolest thing in the world when you're so focused and you're in this thing, like I was with Fast and Loud forever, and then it's gone. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's next? | ||
| Now let me think. | ||
| Because before, I couldn't think. | ||
| You guys had a sizable fan base, too. | ||
| Do you have a way... | ||
| Are you using your social media? | ||
| Like, when did you... | ||
| Like, what kind of raps did they have on your social media, and when did that... | ||
| The only thing they had was I couldn't post. | ||
| But... | ||
| You couldn't post anything? | ||
| Gasmicky could. | ||
| You couldn't post anything? | ||
| Richard couldn't. | ||
| At all? | ||
| No. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| Not like, hey, I went and got pizza? | ||
| Nothing? | ||
| Gas Monkey could. | ||
| But Richard couldn't. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I mean, I couldn't have written a note on a post-it note, a picture of myself, and put it on a telephone pole. | ||
| They literally came and got me. | ||
| That seems so stupid and hurts my feelings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know nothing! | |
| So you stayed in touch with fans through Gas Monkey? | ||
| Yeah, that's our normal thing. | ||
| When do you plan to have something new rolling out? | ||
| February. | ||
| February. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be ditching. | ||
| That's a good time, too, because vaccines will have kicked in for most of the country. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be insane. | ||
| We're going to have a great time. | ||
| I'm going to have... | ||
| I can't let the cat out of the bag. | ||
| Okay, don't say much. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| It's going to be good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I've got some pretty good plans. | ||
| Well, I'm looking forward to seeing them. | ||
| This is a lot of fun, dude. | ||
| And we're in the same state. | ||
| How many beers do we polish off? | ||
| 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Well, that doesn't include the four I had before breakfast. | ||
| It's a regular Monday. | ||
| You had four? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Before breakfast? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| How do you look so good? | ||
| You don't look like a haggard alcoholic. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| You look really good. | ||
| I'll tell you the secret, but I have to... | ||
| Tell me off air. | ||
| Yeah, off air. | ||
| It has to do with certain juices on your face all the time. | ||
| Fill in the blank with your own imagination, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Jamie, what do you got? | ||
| Juices on the face? | ||
| Anything? | ||
| I'm going to leave that alone. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, well, he drives a Tesla. | ||
| If you were in the back seat of a freaking 69 Chevelle, you'd be like, I will tell you what that is. | ||
| What do you have that would win a drag race with him? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| You have zero cars that would win. | ||
| I actually have a top-fueled dragster. | ||
| That's a little different. | ||
| That's not legal on the street. | ||
| It is if you put headlights on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you put a top fuel dragster on the street? | ||
| Technically, no. | ||
| But you can put a dragster on the street, full length, as long as it has taillights and turn signals. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| But it has to pass emissions. | ||
| Would those fucking things pass emissions? | ||
| We don't have emissions in Texas. | ||
| Well, that's a real issue. | ||
| You gotta get back to the program, sir. | ||
| You're in Texas now. | ||
| Okay, California has some things right. | ||
| You can't just let people blow coal out of the back of their car. | ||
| Coal is diesel. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No, I'm not diesel. | ||
| Right, I know. | ||
| You know what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, that's emission standards, right? | ||
| I say you let them do whatever. | ||
| Because, let me tell you, it's going to suck for our offspring and their offspring, because it's only going to get worse. | ||
| So, pollute the air? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because it's going to suck for them? | ||
| I'm not saying pollute the air. | ||
| I'm just saying there is a line that needs to be drawn between enjoying the ideology of internal combustion engines and outlawing them. | ||
| I like how internal combustion engines becomes an ideology. | ||
| It's like a religion. | ||
| It's like Mormonism. | ||
| I come from the cult of the diesel engine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You, uh... | |
| I think we have to figure out a way to get the fucking bad shit out of the air. | ||
| And that's what I'm hoping. | ||
| I'm hoping some super smart egghead type dude is going to figure out how to suck all that bad stuff out of the air. | ||
| And then we're not going to worry anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you think about where we're at in society right now, it will happen. | ||
| Some guy will say, hey, this is how we confine it. | ||
| This is how we do it. | ||
| There was an article that we brought up on the podcast previously where they had a concept for an air cleaner that was literally the size of a building, like a sky rise air cleaner that they would place in the middle of a city and just suck out all the particulates and pollution and all the bullshit like a sky rise air cleaner that they would place in the middle of Was that in China? | ||
| They were talking about doing that. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| I don't think it'll ever get all the bullshit out of the air. | ||
| We're actually spewing it right now. | ||
| We are definitely spewing it. | ||
| That kind of bullshit will never get out of the air. | ||
| It will never go away. | ||
| But I think there's a real possibility that they might be able to pull pollution out of the air. | ||
| Like, definitely. | ||
| I really do think that. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| The carbon in the air, like the excess carbon that we're spitting out... | ||
| There it is, son. | ||
| Smog-sucking tower, son. | ||
| It looks like it sucks and sucking. | ||
| Scientists at the University of Earth Environment. | ||
| First of all, the scientists at China's Institute of Earth Environment, those people are probably secretly polluting. | ||
| It's like a cover story. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Scientists at China's Institute of Earth Environment have constructed what they say is the world's largest air purifier in the northern city of... | ||
| You say that, Xion? | ||
| Is that Xion? | ||
| And I can't even work my Roomba. | ||
| The experimental smog-sucking tower stands over 100 meters tall, 300 fucking feet, and is designed to improve air quality in the city where standards regularly fall short of expectations set by the World Health Organization. | ||
| Yeah, but that shit has to be reduced down to something. | ||
| And what do they do with it? | ||
| But carbon's valuable. | ||
| See, that's the thing. | ||
| Carbon itself is a commodity, right? | ||
| They can make things with carbon. | ||
| If they can really pull bullshit out of the air, that bullshit might be valuable. | ||
| They just have to figure out a way to make it worthwhile. | ||
| And if they can do that, then they can have one of those stupid things like every block... | ||
| If that's how we saw blocks, we saw blocks with an air cleaner and everything was perfect, all our issues with how many autoimmune issues have to do with pollution. | ||
| They say that living in a big city with a lot of pollution can drop your life expectancy by 10 years. | ||
| You don't know about this shit, Richard Rollins. | ||
| I don't know shit about this shit. | ||
| I mean, you guys that work out and do all this gymnastic shit and fucking go fucking fight, you're worried about it? | ||
| That's Jamie. | ||
| He's all about gymnastics. | ||
| He's all about those parallel bars. | ||
| Yeah, see, I don't know shit about that. | ||
| Jamie's all about tambourine. | ||
| I just drink beer and have a good time. | ||
| Well, you can do that too. | ||
| I hope for the best. | ||
| The thing about drinking beer and having a good time is you don't have to do it all day. | ||
| You can take parts of your day and do other stuff. | ||
| We've been here for three hours. | ||
| No, we've been here more than three hours. | ||
| It's 4.20. | ||
| What time we've been here for? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| 4.20? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Light it up, son. | ||
| Yeah, light it up. | ||
| We've been here for like a year. | ||
| Close to a year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like it when he whispers in my ears. | |
| Podcasts are a weird business, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because if we were doing this anywhere where there's like a real producer or an executive or someone who had any self-respect, they would stop this. | ||
| And they would be like, what are you fucking idiots talking about? | ||
| What are you coughing about? | ||
| We've done a pretty good job on this bottle. | ||
| We killed that tequila. | ||
| No, we haven't killed it yet. | ||
| Yeah, but we killed it. | ||
| You want to kill it? | ||
| It's going to live forever with fucking half its body gone. | ||
| It might. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| It might. | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| 420? | ||
| How do we get to that? | ||
| That's pretty much how everything ends at 420. Hey, it's 420. What were we just talking about? | ||
| What did you just pull up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flatline. | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Carbon air. | ||
| Being able to do something with the materials they pull out of the atmosphere. | ||
| As soon as they can make it valuable, then they'll clean the air up. | ||
| And then there'll be no dirty cities anywhere. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| That's totally possible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| Smart enough people recognize all that shit that's ruining everything. | ||
| You can figure out a way to economically process it where it makes sense you can make money. | ||
| Do you know what the worst juxtaposition in the entire United States is right now? | ||
| What? | ||
| They outlawed, or they actually didn't outlaw. | ||
| They said it's approved for drugs in Oregon. | ||
| Right, everything. | ||
| You can literally walk around with some cocaine in your pocket. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But straws are illegal. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a fucked up situation. | ||
| It is a fucked up situation. | ||
| I wonder how many people in Oregon grew the long pinky nail just to deal with the bullshit. | ||
| I know, but why would you... | ||
| Can't you do coke with a dollar bill? | ||
| Why do you need a fucking straw? | ||
| Are you so selfish about your coke use, you want to kill a seal? | ||
| If you're a fucking baller, you do it with a hondo. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Didn't they say that some crazy percentage of $100 billows have coke on them? | ||
| Oh, all of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, all of them. | ||
| Everything that's been in circulation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 90% of U.S. bills carry traces of cocaine. | ||
| 100% of bills from a few large urban areas tested positive. | ||
| 100%! | ||
| Realize if you could recycle bills in America. | ||
| There's something cool about cash. | ||
| You put them in a shaker and it comes all down. | ||
| I'm a fan of cash. | ||
| Not just because it's like a piece of paper and you get things for the piece of paper, but also because it passes around. | ||
| Like if you're holding on to a $20 bill, how many people had that bill before you? | ||
| It's not just you. | ||
| It's in circulation. | ||
| That term, circulation, is real. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| I'm a big cash guy because I carry cash to all my buys. | ||
| It makes people change their mind, right? | ||
| They look at it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can change a guy's mind. | ||
| I need five grand. | ||
| You're like, I'll give you $3,500 cash. | ||
| You open up that box. | ||
| Boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| It's like when Vin Rames opened up that suitcase in Pulp Fiction. | ||
|
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Yep. | |
| And Bruce Willis got to look at it. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Show that, Jamie. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Remember that scene? | ||
| Vin Rames, when he opened up the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, that's what cash is like. | ||
| I got popped in Virginia flying, and I was carrying about 500 grand to go buy some Hemi Kootenus. | ||
| Yeah, this guy had some himicudas and they were very special. | ||
| And they thought you were a drug dealer? | ||
| And everything else, yeah. | ||
| That is John Travolta opening up the suitcase going, oh shit. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Here, it opens it up. | ||
| Click, click, click. | ||
| Ready? | ||
|
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And... | |
| Boom. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| We got some money in here. | ||
| So I got Pop carrying 500 grand. | ||
| They never said what it is. | ||
| You know that, right? | ||
| Oh, that's bullshit. | ||
| It's assumed what that is. | ||
| No, it's not SpongeBob. | ||
| I'm sorry, buddy. | ||
| No, no, they never showed it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Didn't you show it to Bruce Willis, too? | ||
| Didn't Ving Rhames show it to Bruce Willis? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's supposedly... | ||
| It's like, well, it's a movie trope thing. | ||
| It doesn't matter what it is, but... | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Oh, don't worry about it. | ||
| Anyways, I'm carrying 500 fucking jeans. | ||
| $500,000 in cash. | ||
| In a backpack. | ||
| This guy's thrown in. | ||
| And they were like, what are you doing? | ||
| You know, they took me into the room. | ||
| They had the whole freaking... | ||
| What year is this? | ||
| This was like, oh, eight-ish. | ||
| Just take him to fucking... | ||
| They took me in the room and I said, look, it's not illegal to carry money in America. | ||
| And here's what I'm going to buy. | ||
| And I showed them pictures of the car and titles of the cars. | ||
| You know, because I was buying like three. | ||
| And I missed my flight. | ||
| I had to take a flight two hours later, but they fucked with me for a while. | ||
| How long did they fuck with you for? | ||
| Like three hours. | ||
| So they just want to make sure you're not buying drugs. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was buying Hemikudas, which is a drug in our world. | ||
| It's the best drug. | ||
| It's a good drug. | ||
| It's a good drug. | ||
| But it's a weird thing where you can only have like so much. | ||
| Like you could show up with like, what is it, like 10 grand? | ||
| They can't fuck with you. | ||
| Like if you deposit more than 10 grand in the bank, they're like, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, they got a record for that. | ||
| And then traveling out of the country, 10 grand. | ||
| Or into the country, 10 grand. | ||
| What if you're a baller? | ||
| What if you're one of those dudes with, like, diamond teeth? | ||
| Who just, like, everywhere you go, you got a fucking Gucci bag filled with cash. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess you fly in private, but I was flying home from London one time, and the night before, I won a bunch of money at the casino there in Leicester Square. | ||
| I forget what that casino's called, but it's been on a bazillion movies. | ||
| And I won a bunch. | ||
| And then I got there, and I cashed it in, and I had, I don't know, $20,000 or $30,000. | ||
| And... | ||
| They were like, do you have more than $10,000 to declare? | ||
| And I was like, no. | ||
| And they went, yeah, you go down that line. | ||
| So then they sent me down the bad line. | ||
| I'm going to get fucking searched. | ||
| And I'm like, shit. | ||
| Now they know you're a liar. | ||
| Yeah, and then that guy was kind of cool. | ||
| He goes, oh, cool, you're Richard. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| Oh, he knew you. | ||
| What do you do if they catch you? | ||
| They can take it. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, they can just take it. | ||
|
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Now you may or may not get it. | |
| There was a real issue with cops pulling people over who were on their way to buy something with cash. | ||
| The South, in particular. | ||
| Was it North Carolina or South Carolina? | ||
| There was a real issue with this. | ||
| Where they had seized millions and millions of dollars of people's cash and items. | ||
| In South Carolina, there's nothing else to do. | ||
| It was almost impossible for the people to get it back. | ||
| They had to go to war to get it back. | ||
| I believe they just changed the law really recently. | ||
|
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What? | |
| I don't even know if this is accurate. | ||
| I was looking up cash seizures. | ||
| Oklahoma, this is 2017, it says, Oklahoma district attorneys were awarded more than $6.2 million in cash, up from the $3.1 million the year before, believed to be involved in the drug trade that was seized by law enforcement. | ||
| So they gave it to the DAs, I believe is what this is saying. | ||
|
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So they gave the cash to the DA. The seized drug money. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| So then they don't have to account for how they made the seized drug money. | ||
| They just take that money from drug dealing and they apply it to the police force. | ||
| Which makes the police force more incentivized to go after drug dealers. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| That was one of the things about whatever the law was, whether it was North Carolina or South Carolina, where these cops would pull people over and take their stuff. | ||
| I forget what the law is. | ||
| It's a famous law. | ||
| But whatever it was, they would keep most of the money. | ||
| So they were incentivized to see a guy like you on your way to buy some Hemis. | ||
| I do not carry drugs. | ||
| No, you don't have to. | ||
| You just have cash. | ||
| You just have cash. | ||
| You have to prove that you got that cash in a legitimate manner before they give it back to you. | ||
| Search and seizure. | ||
| I think those are the rules. | ||
| It's a seizure law, but I mean, they have them everywhere. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But those were particularly egregious. | ||
| That's why I don't carry cash in. | ||
| No cash. | ||
| Do you hear about the guy who had- I barely have like five grand on me right now. | ||
| Some dude had pounds of gold up his ass. | ||
| Did you hear about that guy? | ||
| You can't have a pound of gold in your ass. | ||
| I can. | ||
| I think he had two pounds of gold in his ass. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| Bro, just because your ass is weak doesn't mean... | ||
| No, right? | ||
| I cannot take two pounds of gold. | ||
| Airport staff notices a man walking strangely, then finds over two pounds of gold in his rectum. | ||
| The man was reportedly trying to avoid paying an 18% tax on gold. | ||
| Pull those bitches up, Jamie. | ||
| Look at those things and imagine them in your asshole. | ||
| That hurts. | ||
| That's heavy. | ||
| That's a lot of gold. | ||
| That's a giant gold dick in your ass. | ||
| I've never had a two pound shit. | ||
| I mean, I would like to say I have. | ||
| When I used to wrestle and we used to cut weight, people would try to take a shit. | ||
| But what you don't realize is shit doesn't weigh that much. | ||
| What weighs a lot is urine. | ||
| Like if you have to pee or spit. | ||
| Well, that's 8.6 per gallon. | ||
| Your shit is lighter than you'd hope it is. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| 8.6 ounces per gallon. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We've already done terrible math all show long. | ||
| Somebody else in the same flight had twice as much as that guy on the top. | ||
| It doesn't say where that was concealed. | ||
| I'm actually starting to get loaded enough that I'm looking for the guy that's talking to me. | ||
| There's four pounds in his ass? | ||
| It didn't say where that was. | ||
| Four pounds? | ||
| That guy would probably walk off two pounds. | ||
| I can't even finger my own ass and get four pounds for this shit. | ||
| That's fucking wrong. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| That's a lot of gold, son. | ||
| 2.14 pounds. | ||
| So, you gotta think the dude who got busted with four pounds? | ||
| 2.4 pounds is only 6,000 bucks? | ||
|
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No. | |
| 2.4 pounds? | ||
| Everything that you think of, Richard, just add like a 10 or a 100 to it. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I get my comments and zeros mixed up. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta multiply. | ||
| You gotta add to what you think it is. | ||
| That's a lot of gold in your asshole. | ||
| That's very impressive. | ||
| I don't care what anybody says. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with a gold asshole. | ||
| I don't think that's what we're talking about. | ||
| I'm talking about smugglers. | ||
| You ever see someone get busted with coke and go in the wrong life with the wrong situation? | ||
| That could have been me. | ||
| Could have been me. | ||
| We'll just leave it there. | ||
| We'll just leave it there. | ||
| So it happened recently and a couple years ago? | ||
| Three years ago, same story. | ||
| Walking with difficulty, appearing to be in pain. | ||
| Also in India. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's where they look for gold in your asshole. | ||
| India All those gold Oh he only had to pay $1500 fine And he was released though $1500 fine And you get to keep Keep his shitty gold I don't know if they get to keep it. | ||
| Imagine they take all your gold and they charge you $1,500, or you go to jail forever. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| Fuck off, gold dick boy. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Oh, this guy had different... | ||
| He had three... | ||
| It said gold biscuits. | ||
| This guy's shitting gold. | ||
| Gold biscuits. | ||
| Shaped like biscuits? | ||
| Jewelry. | ||
| Like if you had a little kid's bakery kit? | ||
| You're pretending you're making biscuits? | ||
| I'm looking for a picture of it. | ||
| Gold biscuits. | ||
| What the fuck's a gold biscuit? | ||
| Oh my god, it is. | ||
| He had all that stuff up his ass? | ||
| Those are the biscuits, maybe. | ||
| Whoa, what are those? | ||
| It's all wrapped in plastic. | ||
| Look how brown they are. | ||
| Oh, plastic. | ||
| Wrapped in plastic and shoved up his ass. | ||
| Somebody had to make a deal with him. | ||
| It was like, the plastic will be extra space. | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| Shut up and wrap my gold with plastic, you piece of shit. | ||
| You know, I don't want your asshole to ever come in direct contact with my gold. | ||
| I can't scrub that off. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| How many guys do you think every year go through airport security with gold up their ass? | ||
| A hundred? | ||
| All over the world? | ||
| I would say thousands. | ||
| Not this year, right? | ||
| Because we've got to have the COVID exemption. | ||
| But under a healthy year, I bet a hundred people go through the border with gold up their asshole. | ||
| I got one with 140k of gold up his ass in 2016. How much does that weigh? | ||
| 140k would have to weigh like 60 pounds. | ||
| How much does that weigh? | ||
| It would have to weigh like 60 pounds. | ||
| Okay, so back off and make it 6 pounds, right? | ||
| Because he's always off by a factor of 10? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Ounce of gold. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| 60 pounds is insane! | ||
| That would be a bowling ball-sized log of gold in your asshole. | ||
| Royal Canadian Mint employee allegedly smuggled over $100,000 worth of gold. | ||
| they found a tub of Vaseline in his locker at work. | ||
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Go back to the fucking... | |
| Go back up there. | ||
| A tub of Vaseline? | ||
| So he worked at the Mint? | ||
| So this guy was around gold all the time, and he probably started stretching his asshole. | ||
| Right? | ||
| At work. | ||
| A locker. | ||
| He had a locker at work. | ||
| You seem so close right now when you're talking about that. | ||
| He smuggled a hundred... | ||
| What is a hundred thousand... | ||
| Is that pounds? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that what that is? | ||
| I can never tell the difference between euros and pounds. | ||
| What's the difference in the... | ||
| It's Canadian. | ||
| This article is from the UK, so they had to translate it for... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Canadian. | ||
| It's $140,000 worth of gold. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so crazy. | ||
| How many pounds is that? | ||
| Does it say the weight? | ||
| It might have been like... | ||
| It says it inside his rectum. | ||
| Hardly knew him. | ||
| I feel like it's got to be at a time in the market when gold was at an all-time high or something. | ||
| It doesn't say the weight. | ||
| They don't want to tell you the weight because it's not that impressive. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Otherwise, they just tell you the way. | ||
| I think this guy, he didn't get caught at one time. | ||
| He was doing it on a daily basis. | ||
| He was on a list. | ||
| He was the gold dick up the ass mule. | ||
| He was a gold digger. | ||
| He's just the guy that made his living shoving things up his ass and making his way across the border. | ||
| Hey, trust me. | ||
| I shove this up my ass. | ||
| I go across the border. | ||
| Everything's good. | ||
| Why does he have to have that accent? | ||
| Look, a man's got to do what he's got to do. | ||
| What if he was Scottish? | ||
| What if he sounded like Sean Connery? | ||
| So, hey. | ||
| Trying to feed my family. | ||
| Trying to feed the family. | ||
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My asshole. | |
| And I keep moving. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I come across the river. | ||
| I think we torture these people enough. | ||
| I think we're around, somewhere around four hours. | ||
| What's the number, Jamie, right now? | ||
| Three hours and 30 minutes. | ||
| Alright, fuck em. | ||
| That's enough. | ||
| Should we keep going? | ||
| No, it's enough. | ||
| Let's wrap this up. | ||
| Should we have a shot? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
| No, I'm done. | ||
|
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Alright. | |
| Fuckin' sissy. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yes, thank you. | ||
| Call me a sissy. | ||
| Is it still okay to be a sissy? | ||
| It is okay. | ||
| Does anybody identify with being a sissy? | ||
| I might start doing that. | ||
| Self-proclaim sissy. | ||
| Use it as my profile. | ||
| You should. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, you gotta take the weight off of that word. | ||
| How is that word still... | ||
| If someone calls you a sissy, does that sting at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's so ineffective. | ||
| No, so you need to grab that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like a gun that shoots styrofoam. | ||
| Boink. | ||
| Like, there's nothing. | ||
| Like a Nerf gun. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| Nerf at least has some weight to it, so it'll fly. | ||
| But Styrofoam is like nothing. | ||
| It bonked you in the head with Styrofoam. | ||
| Just bonked you in the fucking head. | ||
| Richard Rawlings, let us know whenever your new adventure, wherever it lies, whenever it comes out, let us know. | ||
| It's going to be pretty cool. | ||
| I hate to use the term F-disco, but... | ||
| Listen, they're good people. | ||
| They're in a bad business. | ||
| No, I just hate disco music. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I like disco. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| I wish we could play some Bee Gees right now. | ||
| Stayin' Alive. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
| Stayin' Alive. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
|
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Stayin' Alive. | |
| I know. | ||
| You want to mock it. | ||
| You want to mock me. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| No, I'm telling you. | ||
| Stayin' Alive is the best disco music ever. | ||
| If you're alone and you're not trying to impress anybody and it comes on the radio and you're in the right mood, it's a great song to hear. | ||
| Sometimes I jerk off too. | ||
| There's a lot of good songs, bro. | ||
| The Bee Gees, More Than A Woman, come on. | ||
| They had some good fucking songs. | ||
| Give me a little bit. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Listen to this shit. | ||
| That's it, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Goodbye. | ||
| Thank you for tuning into the program. | ||
| Richard Rawlings, do you have your fucking social media back? | ||
| Did you get it back from those pirates? | ||
| I got it. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| Everything in my world is good, sir. | ||
| How do people find you? | ||
| Gasmonkeygarage.com. | ||
| Info at gasmonkeygarage.com. | ||
| Richard at gasmonkeygarage.com. | ||
| Joe Rogan is not Richard Rawlings at gasmonkeygarage.com. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Always a pleasure. | ||
| Thank you for coming. | ||
| I had a great time. | ||
| Appreciate you. | ||
| Appreciate you, and I look forward to whatever you do. | ||
| Goodbye, everybody. |
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