Sept. 2, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:06:20
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hello, Miley Cyrus. | ||
|
unidentified
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How are you? | |
| I'm good, John. | ||
| Pleasure to meet you. | ||
| You also. | ||
| I'm happy to be here. | ||
| I'm happy to have you here. | ||
| You have a fantastic voice. | ||
| Not just a singing voice, but your talking voice. | ||
| It's very unusual. | ||
| It makes you step back a little bit. | ||
| I've actually... | ||
| Recently, I was walking around in Boston, and I went to a museum, and this older man walked up to me. | ||
| I had no idea who I was. | ||
| He was just enjoying the art, also in the museum, and started talking to me forever about my voice. | ||
| And then there was a college, some sort of... | ||
| Tripped the museum and then everybody started freaking out and it was so cool just to have someone stop me about my speaking voice because that had never happened to me before I think as I was turned around and I had the mullet so I could have been you know anybody I could have been Anyone it's a heavy voice It's a heavy voice. | ||
| You didn't always have a heavy voice though. | ||
| My kids love Hannah Montana, by the way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when I would watch, your voice was different. | ||
| It's definitely changed. | ||
| I actually, I kind of learned a lot about the voice and how our experiences affect our voice. | ||
| I had a surgery in November on my voice. | ||
| I had something called Reiki's edema, which when my doctor told me about it, He said, no one shy ever has this. | ||
| This is for abuse of the voice. | ||
| This is for people that talk way too fucking much. | ||
| And usually this happens when you're like in your 60s or 70s. | ||
| How do I not have that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Mine, I think, honestly, really, I started touring, you know, at probably 12 or 13. And not only was I, the adrenaline that you have after a show, it's not really the singing that affects your voice as much. | ||
| It's afterwards, you're totally on. | ||
| And then it's really hard to get that sleep. | ||
| You stay up, talking all night. | ||
| Later, the talking all night turned into smoking all night. | ||
| And now this is kind of where we're at. | ||
| We got some dirt on her. | ||
| You know, the voice can be like a face. | ||
| It collects wrinkles and it tells a story. | ||
| If you look at yourself and you go, oh, I didn't have this until this trip. | ||
| You know, I sat out in the sun or I partied too much or whatever. | ||
| Your voice says the same thing. | ||
| It collects dirt. | ||
| It's very distinctive. | ||
| Yes, it gives me a way. | ||
| I mean, I'm pretty much one of the only chicks in LA with a mullet, so that gives me a way also. | ||
| Well, you're not in the right neighborhood. | ||
|
unidentified
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There's plenty of them. | |
| I know, I gotta dry out to the desert, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, go out to Joshua Tree. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Find the chicks that are tripping. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, with handmade tattoos. | ||
| I had a couple of those, too. | ||
| But there's something very distinctive about a voice you earned, you know? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's kind of like, you know, when you see somebody and I think especially being like a female in the industry, I think growing up and changing and like kind of that there is such a kind of stigma with aging. | ||
| It's a very kind of scary thing as a female in the industry. | ||
| And I've thought about it a lot and thought about my voice. | ||
| I actually had someone when I was doing an interview a couple months ago said, you know, she sounds like she stayed up all night smoking too many darts. | ||
| And I said, well, I fucking have. | ||
| I have. | ||
| And that's just the truth. | ||
| And if that was anyone else, it's kind of like you're weathered or you're aged or you've been through it. | ||
| And we'll talk about it as we go. | ||
| But over the last year, I noticed a really big change in my voice, kind of a heaviness to it. | ||
| And I experienced some heavy things. | ||
| And so I feel like it is a reflection. | ||
| It is kind of a scar in a sense. | ||
| But also just by having the surgery was kind of a gift also because I was able to understand my instrument. | ||
| No one ever explained that to me. | ||
| You know, I sat in a room with the piano and did scales and shit, but no one taught me about... | ||
| How do you have longevity? | ||
| You are in here with athletes all the time, and recovery days are the most important days. | ||
| I didn't get recovery days. | ||
| That was not important for someone that was making so much capital for such a big corporation. | ||
| Off days are days that That money's not coming in and I definitely probably didn't get the training that I needed to say, hey, you know what? | ||
| I don't want to do this till I'm 15. I want to do this till I'm 80. And that wasn't always considered. | ||
| Definitely not complaining. | ||
| It gave me an amazing launch pad for everything I'm doing now. | ||
| But I hear it. | ||
| But it had to be really odd to be working that much and be a young girl. | ||
| The balance it trained me to have is something that I don't think you are going to get taught any other way besides jumping in the deep end of the pool and hoping you know how to swim. | ||
| That's the only way. | ||
| There was no way I could have prepared for the amount of balance I would have to learn to kind of teeter because, you know, at one point, again, it went from—it was school, then it went from— How much weed can I actually smoke and still play a teenage superstar on the Disney Channel? | ||
| What's the answer to that question? | ||
| More than you would fucking think! | ||
| I remember one time when, and I don't smoke anymore, and I'm sober, How long have you been sober for? | ||
| I've been sober since pretty much the vocal surgery kind of did it for me because I just learned so much about the effects, which, again, you're just not taught. | ||
| It's not really the drinking. | ||
| It's staying up all night. | ||
| Once you have your drink, you end up smoking. | ||
| And I kind of... | ||
| I have a... | ||
| I've become the face of a lot of things, kind of against my will, I guess, from my opinions. | ||
| When you're someone in my position, your opinion becomes your identity, and it also becomes kind of almost like a... | ||
| You kind of become this, like, preacher. | ||
| You become this, you know, they don't really let you just always have your own opinion. | ||
| So I've decided to start telling people, I live my own lifestyle. | ||
| Alcohol was never my problem. | ||
| There was other things that I end up, you know, I like to go up. | ||
| So I now just avoid really drinking, because I like to wake up at 110%. | ||
| But it's never really been my problem, and I could see myself having a drink of celebration in the future. | ||
| But I get so fucking hungover now that I'm like, Volcanoes erupted in my brain, you know, so so it's really just a personal preference, but it's definitely not Anything that I promote in I think it's a lifestyle everyone should be I think everyone should experiment It's a good time and you learn a lot of things about yourself and the people around you But now I'm watching I have younger siblings and they're going through that and I don't know how my mom did it with me because it's scary Yeah, I don't think... | ||
| I think if we're going to acknowledge the fact that all these things exist, cocaine exists, pills exist, marijuana exists, we should teach people how to do it right. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I mean, you're leaving children. | ||
| It's the same thing with sex, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We leave children to their... | ||
| The information that they're going to get is from other kids. | ||
| And if you're learning about sex from another 14-year-old or you're learning about coke from a 14-year-old, that's not good. | ||
| We play this game with children where we try to pretend that they live in a movie. | ||
| Alright, well listen to this. | ||
| It's actually funny you bring this up because I had the idea this week, not that I really have time to do this in the near future, but I would like to at some point in my life. | ||
| I want to do my own... | ||
| Children's book series of realistic children's stories. | ||
| Because I don't like the idea that we teach them that this is sunshine world and everyone walks out a rainbow and everyone's equal. | ||
| And you need to say, like, that's not. | ||
| What are you going to do about it? | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| What are you going to do about it? | ||
| And I think there's a way to not terrify children of life, even though I go in and out of periods where I think life is really overwhelmingly terrifying. | ||
| And that's coming from my position. | ||
| And my position, I tell myself all the time, if you're not enjoying this life, Honey, you got it coming in the next one, because I better fucking love this life. | ||
| It's the best one. | ||
| I couldn't imagine being in a different body and having a different experience. | ||
| It's an awesome life if you do it the right way. | ||
| It's an awesome life. | ||
| And I also... | ||
| I didn't hurt myself beyond repair in my experiences. | ||
| I survived. | ||
| And I don't even mean heart still beating survival. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I have a lot of people that love me around. | ||
| I didn't kick all the people that had my best interest at heart out. | ||
| That's where you die. | ||
| You kick everyone that says, hey, are you okay? | ||
| You know, out. | ||
| No, of course I'm okay. | ||
| You don't trust me. | ||
| Get the fuck out. | ||
| And so now that I have people that I've had in my life, I feel that I have people in my life that I've known for 15, 20 years, and not many people in my position get to say that. | ||
| My parents are awesome. | ||
| My dad's loopy as hell, but I love him so much. | ||
| He has no way of ever hearing this because my dad doesn't have Wi-Fi or anything but a Blackberry, so I can tell you what I got him for his birthday. | ||
|
unidentified
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Your dad has a Blackberry? | |
| My dad has two Blackberries, which equal an iPhone. | ||
| Which is not true, but that's what he says. | ||
| So for his birthday, he said that he wanted to see if he could go 365 days without eating pizza, because he had never done it before. | ||
| So my dad has now gone a year without having pizza, and my dad loves bubble baths. | ||
| He's gonna kill me for saying this, but his country ass loves bubble baths. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And so he loves to smoke his joint, eat his pizza, and get a bubble bath. | ||
| So he said, that's what I'm gonna do for my birthday. | ||
| So... | ||
| And for his birthday, I've organized a five-foot pizza to be delivered to his farm so he can have all he can eat. | ||
| And I'm the pizza delivery person on the box. | ||
| I had someone draw it where it's me with my tongue out and a mullet delivering the pizza. | ||
| And I got a bathtub on Craigslist. | ||
| And my dad has 500 acres, so I put it in the middle of the farm, filled with bubblegum, just like my music video. | ||
| And so my dad's going to have a bubblegum bathtub and a five-foot pizza for his birthday. | ||
| That's adorable. | ||
| That's next week. | ||
| I like the fact that he has no Wi-Fi and no internet. | ||
| No Wi-Fi, no internet. | ||
| Every now and then, he'll drive to my uncle's house to FaceTime us every now and then. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Wow, he has to make a drive to FaceTime. | ||
| It's not far. | ||
| All of us are just like, my dad's kept us a pebbles throw away, for sure. | ||
| We all live on property. | ||
| We all live really close to each other. | ||
| So if you did this thing, like if you really decided to do children's books, like realistic children's books, how would you do that? | ||
| Would you get a ghost author and sort of come up with the ideas of what you were trying to get across to kids? | ||
| What do you wish somebody told you? | ||
| I like that you mentioned that no one talks to us about drugs. | ||
| I know this is going to be controversial to introduce drugs to kids. | ||
| I think that there's a way, and I have to think about it. | ||
| Wayne Coyne, who's a good friend of mine, and I did the Dead Pets record with him. | ||
| Flaming Lips have been my favorite band since I was in fifth grade, and he's obviously an amazing artist. | ||
| And he just had his first child. | ||
| A year and a half years old. | ||
| He's 60. He just had a baby. | ||
| They're coming to visit me right now. | ||
| And I would have him do all the illustrations so it stays in that kind of surrealist world. | ||
| Would get the kids to want to read this book is that the illustrations are still surreal. | ||
| And I like that about children's books. | ||
| But I do think that we do need to talk about, you know, equality. | ||
| And I do think there needs to be diversity in children's books. | ||
| And I think also, we just need to talk about the fact I was actually happy to talk to you today, because I didn't get to do therapy today, because I would be with you, but it's kind of the same thing. | ||
| And I was talking to him and I said, you know, sometimes it scares me that I'm too tough. | ||
| And I feel like I'm not jaded and I'm not cold, but I feel too tough. | ||
| And he goes, well, I'm proud of that because life is tough. | ||
| And it's not to get hard. | ||
| What do you mean by that? | ||
| What do you mean by you feel like you don't like that you're too tough? | ||
| I feel that I worry sometimes that... | ||
| I can get over things easily. | ||
| I don't fall to the floor and crawl up in a ball the way that I used to, and I think that's a part of me growing up. | ||
| I recently just went through a very public divorce that fucking sucked. | ||
| What really sucked about it wasn't the fact that Me and someone that I loved realized that we don't love each other the way that we used to anymore. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| I can accept that. | ||
| I can't accept the villainizing and just all those stories. | ||
| It's just amazing to me that the public kind of thinks that there's no gap of time that they didn't see that could possibly be what led to this. | ||
| One day you were happy on the carpet and the next day you were making out with your friend in Italy. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Well, there was a lot of time in between that that you didn't see. | ||
| It didn't go. | ||
| I didn't, like, I didn't, you know. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't rely on someone else's narrative, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Especially someone who doesn't know you. | ||
| You really shouldn't even read what people write about you. | ||
| Well, what's crazy is my dad, again, you know, my dad's been a real figure in my life. | ||
| And my dad, when he got his Grammy nomination, he wore a, he went to the Grammys in a John 316 shirt and he didn't get the Grammy. | ||
| And the next day, the New York Post, someone put, even God can't save Billy Ray Cyrus in his career. | ||
| And he was sitting next to Johnny Cash. | ||
| They were going to something. | ||
| I have a Johnny Cash tattoo that was handwritten to my dad from around that time. | ||
| And he said, what the hell? | ||
| Just like you say to me right now. | ||
| You're my Johnny Cash. | ||
| You know, he said, what the hell are you doing reading that? | ||
| And my dad said, I just never really picked up the paper again. | ||
| But again, my dad didn't buy that paper. | ||
| It was just kind of in your face. | ||
| He should have thought that was funny. | ||
| He does now. | ||
| Now he just says, well, whatever, we'll get Johnny Cash to come and sit next to me and talk to me. | ||
| Now he loves it. | ||
| And it's been really good to have him go before me. | ||
| You know, it's kind of that buddy system. | ||
| I think it would be really scary if I wouldn't have been able to see that. | ||
| But to your point of... | ||
| I don't click on this shit. | ||
| It comes into my life by if I walk by a magazine stand, which I like to walk on the street, and it says, like, Miley's on drugs and pregnant, and then I think, one of those things are true, but not the other. | ||
| Fuck you for lying about me. | ||
| Yeah, but that's all they have. | ||
| I mean, when someone's in the public eye and someone's as prominent as you are, you become a way for them to access money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's all you are. | ||
| Clickbait advertisement. | ||
| And I totally get it. | ||
| It's that unprogramming of... | ||
| Also, I think what's interesting sitting here with you is that all of this is kind of new. | ||
| I mean, even just like the idea of podcasts, what I used to do when it was like promo time for a record. | ||
| Okay, so I'm 12 years old and I'm printing physical copies of my album. | ||
| So I have to write my fucking music, you know, six months before you actually... | ||
| So I just did Dolly's new album for Christmas and I had to record a Christmas song in July. | ||
| It was the weirdest thing I've ever done in my life. | ||
| But when you make physical copies, that's what you do. | ||
| And you're telling a story... | ||
| From always being behind, especially when it comes to the media. | ||
| So now, what I love about this, what I love doing, you know, a show like yours is like, we talk about it right now, and people hear it right now, so you're getting the real information. | ||
| You're not getting information from, all right, you know, I shot a magazine cover, I did an interview, I was la-la in love with my boyfriend. | ||
| I mean, that literally happened when I did Vanity Fair. | ||
| I flew there like a week after I'd gotten married. | ||
| By the time the damn thing was on the stands, I was divorced. | ||
| It was old news! | ||
| It was like, come on, you know, you're really not able to tell your story in real time. | ||
| And that's what I love about the new way that music is happening and streaming. | ||
| And I love the idea that, like, I threw up that Flamin' Lips record I did on SoundCloud. | ||
| And it was like, you know, no one had to buy it. | ||
| Or I sound 105. But it's very exciting because I really hated always being behind myself. | ||
| And I think that's what now I can use my art as my kind of... | ||
| I guess the way that I can talk to the press isn't what bothers me, it's kind of the public, you know? | ||
| And I got in this habit where when people would meet me, I guess I didn't get in a habit, it just became a thing that happened constantly, was I'd meet someone and they'd go, Man, you're not as crazy as I thought you'd be. | ||
| And I'm like, thank you. | ||
| I don't know what you thought I'd be doing right now if you thought I'd be in space buns dropping acid or something. | ||
| But people say that to me all the time, that I'm not as crazy as they thought I would be. | ||
| And that's just a weird thing to say to someone. | ||
| Yeah, but the public image, like what they sold of you, you know, here you are, Hannah Montana, and then all of a sudden you're this very sexual singer, and you're doing all this crazy stuff, and you're on television shaking your ass, and everybody's seeing that, and they're like, oh, Miley Cyrus is out of control now. | ||
| So then that becomes the narrative, right? | ||
| It's funny when people make the narrative when you become in control that now you're out of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was always really interesting to me. | ||
| Well, it's also youth, right? | ||
| Like, think about the marriage thing, right? | ||
| You say, Vanity Fair, they write the article, you're deeply in love. | ||
| By the time it comes out, you're already divorced. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's so Hollywood. | ||
| I mean, to them, that's like, oh, we've seen this fucking story before. | ||
| We know where this is going. | ||
| Also, you're a child star. | ||
| Oh shit, we've seen this story before. | ||
| And so you get stuck in that narrative too, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because they want you to fall down the exact same path. | ||
| They don't want you to reinvent yourself. | ||
| It's a familiar path, yes. | ||
| Well, then they'll spell it out for you. | ||
| This is what she's doing. | ||
| She's on drugs and she's pregnant. | ||
| I've had to... | ||
| Now I don't read those types of things, but I've had to... | ||
| Unlearn that they're not true because sometimes I write things down when I want something to get put into my head. | ||
| Even if I'm going to have a hard conversation with somebody, usually I kind of write a little mini script for myself. | ||
| So I kind of know where I don't like going into something with no direction. | ||
| Where do I want this to go? | ||
| What are my goals? | ||
| What do I want? | ||
| That's what any of your athletes would do. | ||
| It's like I know that I have that as an artist. | ||
| I want to have a long career. | ||
| I have to do the things to be able to have that longevity. | ||
| And so I would write down, you know, kind of an idea of where I'd want conversations to go even with the people in my life and what do I want out of them. | ||
| And I had to stop Going, hey, just because they wrote that down, it's true. | ||
| Because something about writing it down gives a lot of power. | ||
| I don't like to write down things that I don't mean. | ||
| That's why I don't write songs that I hate. | ||
| Because once you write it down, they are alive. | ||
| So what you're saying is that reading things that other people wrote about you made you think that those things were real. | ||
| So it fucked with your own personal narrative. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Sometimes I'd be trying to prove something that I didn't need to prove. | ||
| Like all of a sudden I'd be trying to prove that I'm not crazy when I knew I wasn't crazy. | ||
| And, yeah, I just think also, I mean, when we're talking about realistic children's books, I think the stigma that kind of surrounds, you know, youth growing up, rebelling, and then craziness, and then what's the line between that and mental illness? | ||
| And, you know, I do have some kind of genetic family history of alcohol. | ||
| I mean, that totally gets erased when you're a celebrity. | ||
| It's like Hollywood did this to you. | ||
| It's like, No, dude, my great grandma was an alcoholic. | ||
| You know, my granddad was an alcoholic. | ||
| My grandma was an alcoholic. | ||
| You know, so I I obviously had it wasn't Hollywood. | ||
| You know, it's genetic. | ||
| I think for you, I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with writing a book and writing a realistic children's book. | ||
| But I think you could do a lot of good by just making little YouTube videos. | ||
| You make little YouTube videos just talking and explaining, hey, this is what I did, and this is where I fucked up, and this is why you shouldn't do it this way. | ||
| These are the drugs you got to be really careful about. | ||
| These are drugs that are really dangerous. | ||
| And look, if you want to have like one drink, you want to have one drink, just have one fucking drink. | ||
| If you can. | ||
| If you can, yeah. | ||
| If you want to smoke weed, take a hit. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| Figure this out. | ||
| You can have a good experience on marijuana or you could fuck up your life and have a schizophrenic breakdown and get super paranoid. | ||
| And that's one thing that I felt like when I was smoking weed, my mom, all the weed that I don't smoke, she takes care of. | ||
| Both my parents. | ||
| So I have nothing against weed. | ||
| My whole family's a bunch of stoners. | ||
| I just felt like when you're talking about some of the episodes that they can bring on, I maybe have a little some of those tendencies already. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's something that people who love marijuana don't like to talk about. | ||
| I'm pretty adamant about discussing that. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| I know people that have lost their fucking mind. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Particularly on edibles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know some people that literally became schizophrenic from edibles. | ||
| I like looking at facts like that. | ||
| I like information. | ||
| I love to process new information. | ||
| I love to receive new information. | ||
| How do you get your information? | ||
| Are you a person who reads? | ||
| Do you watch documentaries? | ||
| I read and I kind of I was going on a trip when I was maybe 17 years old and I was walking through the airport and I saw a book that said Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen, who's now been my therapist for 10 years. | ||
| And I couldn't get on this plane. | ||
| I was having a full anxiety attack. | ||
| I was smoking a lot of weed. | ||
| I was taking a lot of shrooms. | ||
| I was 17. Seventeens, smoking a lot of weed and taking a lot of shrooms. | ||
| Taking a lot of shrooms. | ||
| And I started getting a little... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I started getting a little cray-cray, you know, sometimes... | ||
| Don't recommend that. | ||
| Doing some things with, you know, causing some fights with my boyfriend that were unnecessary. | ||
| They got heightened. | ||
| I remember one time I wrecked my car into my gate and I said, this is all your fault! | ||
| I was the one driving the damn car. | ||
| How is this your fault? | ||
| I did not have a great idea of reality at that time. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| So I was going to... | ||
| I was leaving the country for the first time without my family. | ||
| I was going to Costa Rica and I was walking through the airport and I saw this book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. | ||
| I'm like, I want to change my life. | ||
| I don't like where this is going and my brain is actually... | ||
| I don't like who I'm living with. | ||
| The person upstairs is like annoying the hell out of me. | ||
| So I got this book and it got me to get onto the plane. | ||
| Now I had a few anxious breakdowns on that. | ||
| When you go to places like going in the middle of the jungle, you take all those little planes and all of a sudden you're on a four-wheeler going to wherever you're going. | ||
| Every now and then I'd have to stop because I would get so lightheaded and stabbing chest pains and all this. | ||
| And he said, drop weed, first of all, get rid of the weed, get rid of the psychedelics. | ||
| And I also cut gluten from my diet from a little bit of a time so I could get an idea of like, what's my body on a natural level? | ||
| And I started doing, you know, kind of blood work and I did some spec scans, which he specializes in. | ||
| So like actually looking at my brain, because what I really like about the spec scan is... | ||
| You know, you wouldn't tell me I have a broken arm without freaking looking at it. | ||
| I could tell you, ow, it hurts, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| What is a SPEC scan? | ||
| So a SPEC scan, we might have to look up exactly what it stands for, because I don't remember this. | ||
| But basically, it's kind of like an x-ray, and it kind of shows you almost like in those thermal-type colors of the activity of your brain. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Single photon emission computed tomography. | ||
| Yeah, so I have one of these. | ||
| Nuclear medicine study that evaluates blood flow and activity in the brain. | ||
| So that's my doctor, Amen Clinics. | ||
| That's his website right there. | ||
| And so I have a couple of these. | ||
| How's your brain look? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He says this isn't right. | ||
| Surprisingly good for the abuse that it's had. | ||
| I guess I sorted my throat. | ||
| It's the amount of time. | ||
| Okay, so the amount of activity... | ||
| If we're looking at like female and male brains, I mean, they're totally lit up in different spots, you know? | ||
| Actually, I think he's even worked with some athletes of yours. | ||
| He works a lot of like with football players because he says, you know, like, you know, I'm almost like a football player for the life that I lead. | ||
| I got to do everything else right. | ||
| If you're going to go and live under this amount of stress, which is pretty abnormal, it's like you're getting hit in the head an abnormal amount of times, then I've got to do everything else right. | ||
| So I've got to be pretty diligent about my supplements. | ||
| I've got to really care about the food that I eat. | ||
| My mom always says, like, you guys are overthinking it. | ||
| I've eaten Cheetos every single day. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| For the rest of my life. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, but you're not a superstar that has to go on stage and do two-hour shows. | ||
| My heart really needs to be in good condition. | ||
| I need to be in good condition. | ||
| By the way, my mom has crazy panic attacks. | ||
| I can't have any of that. | ||
| My mom has had them slam the brakes on an airplane to take off and made me drive home from Canada to Tennessee. | ||
| I drove from Tennessee to Canada nine times because of her anxiety. | ||
| I've driven from Nashville to California like four times because of her anxiety. | ||
| So I don't listen to my mom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tell them to get off the Cheetos. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| My grandma was on a popcorn diet where she took a trash bag to the movie theater and filled it up with popcorn. | ||
| And she's like, don't I look good? | ||
| I'm like, on the outside, it's fine. | ||
| On the inside, I'm worried. | ||
| Meanwhile, she's going to outlive all of us. | ||
| So sometimes I worry about that. | ||
| But I think I am kind of like an athlete in the way of like, if I'm going to be doing this kind of abnormal type lifestyle, then I have to do everything else right. | ||
| So my spec scan looks pretty good. | ||
| But I like looking at my brain and knowing, okay, so this isn't looking at me and going, there's just something wrong with me. | ||
| And I don't know why. | ||
| I had a head injury when I was, you know, two years old. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| My dad had me... | ||
| This is really bad, but he can't go to jail, I don't think, because it's long enough time away. | ||
| He had me in a baby backpack, and I was on a dirt bike with my dad. | ||
| And he was riding, and a tree had fallen, and he ducked, and I didn't, and I hit my head on the tree. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| So that's what's wrong. | ||
| Everyone's asked me that for years. | ||
| You know, that's a common theme with wild people. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Sam Kinison got hit by a car when he was a little kid, and his brother Bill said it completely changed his life. | ||
| We have just different standards. | ||
| Same thing with Roseanne Barr. | ||
| She got hit by a car when she was 15. Before that, she was mild-mannered, really good at math. | ||
| After she got hit by a car, she had to spend nine months at a mental institution, couldn't count anymore, and she became this wild lady who everybody knows as Roseanne. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, maybe I'm thankful for it. | ||
| Maybe it, I don't know, knocked me into this identity or something. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| She knows that there's something to that. | ||
| Dr. Amen, we've talked about this a lot. | ||
| So when I get really overwhelmed, I also have a tendency that if I know something stupid, I just got to try it to know that it's stupid, which makes it stupid because I already knew about it. | ||
| Sometimes I'm like, is it better to know it's dumb and do it or to not know it's dumb and do it? | ||
| But don't you think part of that- That's the head injury. | ||
| Well, maybe, but also... | ||
| It's the final loam of your breaks, you know? | ||
| But just the way you developed as a human being, being that famous at, you know, 12 years old, doing stadiums. | ||
| But I do like, I like looking at my brain and going, okay, listen, like, someone cut my breaks, right, on my brain, and I have to take all the things, omega, I've been, was vegan for a very long time, and I've had to introduce fish and omegas into my life because my brain wasn't functioning properly. | ||
| Don't tell that to the vegans. | ||
| They'll come for you. | ||
| They're going to come for me, but that's okay. | ||
| I'm used to people coming for me, and it's going to be that I come out. | ||
| You need to eat more salary! | ||
| No. | ||
| Listen, if I give home... | ||
| I have 22 animals on my farm in Nashville. | ||
| I've got 22 in my house in Calabasas. | ||
| I'm doing what I need to do for the animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But when it comes to my brain, you're not vegan. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't be vegan and being this quick. | ||
| But... | ||
| Sure you can. | ||
| Some people can. | ||
| I cannot because it was really... | ||
| What did it do for your brain? | ||
| I feel that I'm much... | ||
| Slowed you down? | ||
| Now I'm so much sharper than I was and I think that I was at one point pretty malnutritioned. | ||
| I remember going to Glastonbury and that was a show that I loved. | ||
| I loved my performance but I was running on empty. | ||
| Like I was on... | ||
| Can I ask you, were you doing a vegan diet, like, meticulous? | ||
| The strictest you'd ever know. | ||
| Were you doing it intelligently? | ||
| I did all my supplements. | ||
| I did all my protein drinks. | ||
| I've watched every bodybuilder's YouTube about how they still train. | ||
| You can't pay attention to those guys. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| All of a sudden, I'm like, all I need is celery, and why are my thighs fucking huge? | ||
| Those vegan bodybuilder guys, they're almost all on steroids. | ||
| It's fake. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not on steroids. | ||
| Well, they, I mean, and they're, you know, they're different bodies, too. | ||
| Some people, I have good friends that are vegan, and they're fine on it. | ||
| My friend John Joseph, he's been a vegan for like 30 years. | ||
| That's why I think Nate Diaz, I was stoked, was a vegetarian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Vegetarian. | |
| No, he eats fish. | ||
| At one point. | ||
| Or a pescatarian. | ||
| Yeah, he eats fish. | ||
| That's what I like to do. | ||
| They eat eggs, they eat fish, yeah. | ||
| That's where I'm at. | ||
| There's a lot of people that function really well with that, but some people Everybody's different. | ||
| You know, we all have different ancestors and our ancestors come from different parts of the world. | ||
| And, you know, I don't know if the blood type thing is accurate, but some people really believe that. | ||
| So this is another thing that I like about seeing the brain is I try to eat from my brain type and not my blood type. | ||
| Your brain type. | ||
| I really need breaks on my brain because I did I did not have that where I in my new song It says I can't bite the devil on my tongue. | ||
| That was like a really hard thing for me to learn how to do but instead of going I'm just totally impulsive and the most reactive person ever I look and go well, but my dad also slammed my head into a tree when I was two So, you know, it's maybe as a dad that's hard to hear that scares a shit I've given him an award for worst dad ever. | ||
| Every time I go, you know, if we're on Hollywood and there's the best dad award, I scratch out best and put worst. | ||
| But he was also the best because he would allow me to do a lot of other crazy things that were awesome. | ||
| Well, you're fine. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fine. | ||
| My dad let me steal chickens from the Malibu barn, that little red barn when you come down Topanga. | ||
| My dad, they were going to feed these chickens to the snakes, and they led us back there. | ||
| My dad was like, listen, I'm Billy Ray Cyrus. | ||
| I'm going to totally distract him. | ||
| You shove as many chickens in the back of the Corvette as you can while I'm signing autographs, and we're going to get the hell out of here. | ||
| So I did. | ||
| Me and my brother got all these damn chickens, and we shoved them in the back of his car. | ||
| And he was going to... | ||
| Snakes went hungry, though. | ||
| He was about to go work for David Lynch. | ||
| Well, he was going to audition for him for Mulholland Drive, and my dad brought the chickens in the Corvette, and he said, if you're going to have chickens in the Corvette, you're playing the pool guy. | ||
| That's a pool guy thing to do. | ||
| So my dad got the job. | ||
| So because he got the job, he had to stay in L.A., and we had to go back to Tennessee. | ||
| So he told me and my mom to tell the people on the airplane that they were... | ||
| Exotic Himalayan cockatoos. | ||
| And we did, and they let them on the plane, and we had them in the purse, and they lived in a bathtub on Hollywood and Highland in some hotel for a long time. | ||
| And then we got home, and the night we got there, our dogs got in the chicken coop and made them all. | ||
| So they died anyway. | ||
| But that's the kind of dad my dad is. | ||
| He sets you up for failure and for disappointment. | ||
| But I like that about him because he made me tough. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's hard to keep dogs out of chicken coops. | ||
| I had a dog that got into a chicken coop, too. | ||
| It sucks. | ||
| I had a lot of chickens at one point in time. | ||
| And then after the last fire out here, my chicken coop, my house stayed okay, but my chicken coop burnt to the ground. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And then we had to put them in a smaller chicken coop, and the coyotes got them. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| You can't blame Dad for nature. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the way that it is. | |
| No, you can't. | ||
| Dogs will eat chickens. | ||
| Yeah, they will. | ||
| Give them a chance. | ||
| So will snakes, apparently. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| So your brain, when they do this scan, do they tell you what you should do to make it better? | ||
| Do they look at it and go, oh, you're fucked up. | ||
| No, they tell you what you can do to make it better. | ||
| He works kind of with, I guess, a lot of... | ||
| Mostly athletes, people that live an abnormal lifestyle. | ||
| Injuries. | ||
| Head injuries. | ||
| He just posted a cool picture with Tyson. | ||
| I love seeing the other brains that I'm allowed to see also. | ||
| I would love a match.com where people just put their brain scans. | ||
| I like that one. | ||
| That's lighting up right where I need it. | ||
| You got something I don't have. | ||
| That would be actually amazing if that's how it worked. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Because personalities are weird. | ||
| Like people, sometimes you go, they just work together. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And I think it has to do with that. | ||
| You know, I'm not really looking now, I guess, for as much as I'm looking for the... | ||
| I want the soul connection, but I'm more about the brain connection. | ||
| I'm a very logical... | ||
| I like to have kind of logic in my life because... | ||
| I used to be kind of owned by emotion in a way. | ||
| I was very emotional. | ||
| And that's what I meant by... | ||
| I think we spun off of what I meant by tough. | ||
| So I used to be very emotional and... | ||
| You used to cry about things and now you get over things. | ||
| And also more like... | ||
| I would really kind of just like, I would just become such a recluse. | ||
| I had that tendency. | ||
| My dad said he's, everyone's just getting on social distancing. | ||
| He's been doing it since 1992. Like, my dad's been on social. | ||
| I said it as soon as we walked in here. | ||
| You know, I, it made me... | ||
| So that was around achy breaky heart time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| 92 is... | ||
| That was right when I was born, and that is when it was all crazy. | ||
| So that also explains, I mean, I think somewhat of my, just who I am, my personality, how I kind of move. | ||
| Did your dad talk to you about what the anxiety was like for him when he became famous? | ||
| Because your dad was a fucking, for people who don't know, in the early 90s, your dad was a fucking superstar. | ||
| But he had a very different lifestyle than I did as my dad grew up in a house that didn't even have an indoor bathroom. | ||
| My dad hadn't gone to the dentist until he was 30 years old. | ||
| My dad had never gone to a dentist. | ||
| My dad grew up poor. | ||
| My uncle still lives in their same house. | ||
| He's got an indoor bathroom now because my dad's a G and put that in. | ||
| But he still lives in the same house. | ||
| And yeah, so my dad grew up in like, you probably have seen it. | ||
| It's one of the poorer areas in the country. | ||
| My dad grew up in Appalachia and Kentucky. | ||
| So my mom. | ||
| So I've been there a bunch and I've been able to see where my dad's from. | ||
| So he had a different... | ||
| Relationship to fame because he went from nothing to everything. | ||
| I went kind of from having, you know, Everything if we look at really the way I grew up lived in a big house on a big farm The only thing that was sad about is what didn't have kind of neighbors or normal kids Around cuz I lived on this big kind of isolated farm, | ||
| but went to school had this normal life But I mean if we really look at it I didn't know when I was a kid that I had everything but I had everything so I went from having it all to having more and that I don't know what's harder to kind of humanize, I guess, about yourself because my life is very unique. | ||
| And so it's very hard for me to sit with someone and relate to them. | ||
| And I think that made me really scared because my mom doesn't like to be alone. | ||
| So I have that fear in my mind if I don't want to be alone. | ||
| But I think what makes you lonely isn't the amount of people are around, but like, am I relating to people? | ||
| Am I really connecting? | ||
| You must have a hard time connecting to people because they don't have the same life experience as you. | ||
| Your reality, it's like you're in a fishbowl. | ||
| You're in a different reality and you're hanging out next to people that aren't in the fishbowl. | ||
| Here's the difference of the fishbowl. | ||
| So we usually put the fish in the fishbowl. | ||
| You were born in the fishbowl. | ||
| Right, we do it. | ||
| And I was born into it, but then again, I put myself into it. | ||
| So if you get a beta, you're the one that does it. | ||
| You did it when you were a little kid, and you didn't know what you were doing. | ||
| But my parents didn't really want me to. | ||
| So my parents, my dad wouldn't even really go with us to the auditions. | ||
| He was actually kind of mad at my mom about it. | ||
| That was kind of a thing. | ||
| And then my mom's like, I'm going to do this. | ||
| So, you know, she stays in this small town. | ||
| She's going to be like everybody else that just ends up on drugs. | ||
| So she took me to L.A. Mom, like, hello. | ||
| She didn't even smoke weed yet. | ||
| That's not the A-B that I've ever heard of. | ||
| Like, let's avoid drugs in Nashville, so let's get more and better, a lot better drugs in L.A. We're going way off track. | ||
| What bothers you about being more resilient? | ||
| Because that's what it sounds like. | ||
| When you say more tough, you're talking about the difference between someone who reacts overly emotionally to something. | ||
| You would fall to the ground and curl up in a ball and cry about things, and now you can get over them. | ||
| That, to me, is a sign of perspective. | ||
| Okay, so here's where it is, and I don't even want to have a conversation about, like, really, you know, sexism or men versus women, because, like, I love dudes, you know, and I actually relate to dudes a lot more. | ||
| But I think men in my life have told me that I'm cold, or I'm a cold fucking bitch, because I leave when things are done. | ||
| I was actually gonna say... | ||
| Well, maybe you've been dating bitches. | ||
| I'm really into a lot of freaky things, but I don't fuck dead guys. | ||
| And when it's over, it's over, and you're dead to me, and we move on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So that's how I feel about it. | ||
| That's heavy. | ||
| And I'll do a lot of things, but I don't do that. | ||
| And so I think that that's where I've gotten the idea. | ||
| Which, actually, I'm glad you just said that to me, because I get this kind of... | ||
| Beaten into the brain from all different angles. | ||
| My mom's like, you know, everyone else is proud of me for being, like you said, resilient, and I have a lot of guilt. | ||
| I'm a very guilty person. | ||
| But that sounds like you're talking to guys who want you to feel guilty because you don't feel emotional about it ending. | ||
| People need to learn how to just let shit go. | ||
| If they like you, or if they love you. | ||
| They love you, they have to. | ||
| But if they don't have to, that's a hard thing. | ||
| If they love you, they should want you to be happy. | ||
| Just let it pass, and then be friends. | ||
| If they can't do that, that's on them. | ||
| That's not on you, because you're resilient. | ||
| That's why I'm looking for an older man. | ||
| Because these guys that are... | ||
| I definitely should be with someone, I think that... | ||
| You gotta find Nick Nolte. | ||
| This is what I'm thinking. | ||
| This is what I'm thinking. | ||
| I don't need a man or a woman that's gonna... | ||
| Take care of me. | ||
| I can take care of me because I've got money. | ||
| I've got all the things that I need to take care of myself. | ||
| I need them to be able to take care of them. | ||
| Because somehow I keep getting into... | ||
| Well, you need someone with autonomy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what you need. | ||
| You need someone who... | ||
| They don't need your constant approval and affection and attention. | ||
| And now that we're using this word Just for the record, I guess I really don't need to be in a relationship at all, so that's good we got to this point. | ||
| See, this is therapy. | ||
| Yeah, you don't need it. | ||
| No, it does sound nice. | ||
| People can poison you with their ideas of what you should be. | ||
| And if you don't meet up to their expectations, and oftentimes their expectations of you are just to reaffirm themselves. | ||
| They want you to love them. | ||
| They want you to tell them how awesome they are. | ||
| And if you don't feel that way, you're cold. | ||
| There's something wrong with you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They can't exist independently. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The problem is there's a lot of bitches out there. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| You said it, not me. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| And honestly, we're talking at a very... | ||
| This is a super pivotal moment for me right now. | ||
| I haven't been single in like... | ||
| I guess really from 2015. I mean, there's been little months, so maybe about five years. | ||
| Like, I've had, you know, a few months here and there where I've been single, but not for a long period of time. | ||
| And, you know, something I'm really excited about is this VMA performance that's coming up. | ||
| And I love that it's the first time that I'm going to be on that stage as a single, badass, grown, evolved, secure. | ||
| Woman that's done a lot of work like I've done I've done the work and that's the thing is some people say You know like how did you how did you get here? | ||
| You know you turned out pretty good and it's like dude, I've I worked really hard at it But just seriously get it in your head anytime someone gives you a hard time about being strong You're not a bad person. | ||
| Just because you're strong, just because you don't cry as easy as you used to, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm learning that. | |
| It's perspective. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| You're not a bad person. | ||
| All these fucking animals you have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How could you be a bad person if you love animals that much? | ||
| Dude, I put this stuff called monkey butt on my dog's ass every day. | ||
| What is monkey butt? | ||
| This baby powder for dog butts. | ||
| Because I got... | ||
| My friend who's sitting out there right now tried to immediately make me happy because I just went through a breakup and showed me a hot guy on Instagram. | ||
| And I started scrolling and I see him putting this powder on his dog's ass. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want him, but I want that stuff for the dog's ass. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| So I ordered it right away. | ||
| Monkey butt. | ||
| So I have a dog. | ||
| She can't see. | ||
| She can't hear. | ||
| She can barely walk. | ||
| She was dropped at a fire station. | ||
| She was overbred. | ||
| She's a bulldog. | ||
| And she can barely get off the floor. | ||
| She's so overweight. | ||
| And her name is Kate Moss. | ||
| And what I love about it is I tell everybody when I'm coming to set, you know... | ||
| I'm going to bring Kate Moss, make sure she's good. | ||
| She's COVID tested. | ||
| We're all good. | ||
| And then all the men on set's face are the best because it's like, I thought Miley Cyrus bringing Kate Moss is going to be the best day of my life. | ||
| And then she comes in with her big ass, literally, that I have baby powder. | ||
| She has diapers because I put diapers on her for when she comes to set because her butt is like atrocious. | ||
| Do you just need to get her on a diet? | ||
| I have her on a diet. | ||
| Honestly, I'll show you some pictures when we're done with this because she had this thing called a cherry eye. | ||
| She had them in both eyes. | ||
| So they were trying to get me to either remove her eye or do all this surgery or whatever. | ||
| I'm like, let me do this the old-fashioned way. | ||
| So every day I get up, I clean her eyes. | ||
| See, I'm not a bad person. | ||
| I clean her eyes. | ||
| I put four drops in two times a day, give her three tablets. | ||
| She's lost probably 10 pounds already, and the cherries are completely out of her eyes. | ||
| She is healed. | ||
| And what I love about her, and I'll show you these videos, is she can sing. | ||
| That's what really locked her in. | ||
| So I've never known for a dog to do this. | ||
| When I do scales and I warm up for my shows, she howls and sings with me and she's got perfect pitch! | ||
| So I haven't even adopted her yet. | ||
| I was fostering her and I was going to take her to set hoping somebody's kids wanted a dog and they would want her. | ||
| And the first thing that someone said is, a face only a mother can love. | ||
| And I was like, that's not true. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| And so I love her because she started singing to me and then I adopted her right then. | ||
| She's so ugly that they waived the adoption fee. | ||
| They said... | ||
| That's not a lie. | ||
| Literally, she was free and I now have to remind myself they say the best things in life are free and when I look at her and her big ass, I know it's true. | ||
| She's so ugly. | ||
| She's free. | ||
| I had a friend who had wolves. | ||
| He had wolf dogs and you could sing in his house and the wolves would start howling. | ||
| He'd go, Yahoo! | ||
| And they would... | ||
| See, my dogs do that with the ambulance here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Coyotes do that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So they start going, then my dogs start going. | ||
| So all the dogs sing, but none of them do it to scale like Kate Moss. | ||
| That's adorable. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| She's good. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| Don't let anybody tell you that there's something wrong with being resilient. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm learning that. | ||
| But people will do that. | ||
| Men will do that. | ||
| I see a lot of men do that with women. | ||
| They want women to feel bad. | ||
| They want them to feel bad for not being emotional wrecks. | ||
| And I used to get small. | ||
| That's what I'm telling you. | ||
| Yeah, they fuck with you. | ||
| It used to be really easy to kind of put me back in the, you know, kind of jack-in-the-box kind of thing. | ||
| You know, you could get me to come out and just for a little while. | ||
| But it's become... | ||
| Suspiciously convenient timing. | ||
| It always seems that I get told that I'm a cold bitch before I'm about to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right when you're done. | |
| Right when I'm ready to put out fucking music. | ||
| It happens every time. | ||
| Oh, because you're focused on other things other than the band. | ||
| Focus on other things, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, again, dating bitches. | ||
| And then it's like, you know, and then it's just, it's all, it's a whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's all... | |
| You have so much energy, like the way you talk and all the sentences run on into the next. | ||
| Do you exercise? | ||
| Yes, I exercise. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| I love Pilates, and it's not super, I guess, cardio. | ||
| I think you need to do something agro. | ||
| I need to run a little bit more. | ||
| You need to do something agro. | ||
| I got a bag being put in my house right now, so next time I'm here, I'll show you. | ||
| I'll be able to beat the shit out of it. | ||
| Okay, but protect your hands. | ||
| Oh yeah, these nails come off. | ||
| I just have them taped on. | ||
| This is Dolly style. | ||
| Everything about me is taped on, honey. | ||
| It's an easy, at night you just go, and I like, yeah, it's all this tape. | ||
| People that play guitar and musical instruments and they hurt their hands. | ||
| I actually had a guy tell me that I had grubby little kid hands. | ||
| And I liked that about it because I did have dirt and that was because this was at a time where I was doing drugs and I wanted to know where the hell the gophers go. | ||
| So there was a gopher hole in my backyard. | ||
| And I'm like, where do they keep going? | ||
| I see them pop up and they go in. | ||
| I'm like, if you can dig to China, you can dig if I can find a gopher. | ||
| So here I go. | ||
| You can't really dig to China. | ||
| And I know that much. | ||
| And you can't find the gophers either. | ||
| You can. | ||
| My garden knows how to get them. | ||
| I could not find the gophers. | ||
| And I looked for a very long time. | ||
| I even tried to get them out with pizza. | ||
| I brought pizza down into the hole hoping that, you know, everybody loves pizza. | ||
| Apparently not gophers. | ||
| You rarely see gophers, but you see their holes all the time. | ||
| That's what I'm telling you. | ||
| That's where I was trying to go. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You know, when someone tells you that they've been enlightened, they saw Jesus and, you know, whatever. | ||
| I wanted to see. | ||
| I don't even want to see Jesus. | ||
| I just want to see a damn gopher. | ||
| So I went into the hole and I never saw a gopher. | ||
| I want to see a wolverine. | ||
| I'll die disappointed. | ||
| If I was one animal I could see in the wild, I'd like to see a wolverine. | ||
| See, you're like, that's next level. | ||
| I just want a freaking regular, degular gopher in the backyard of Studio City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've seen gophers. | |
| You rarely see them, but I've seen them. | ||
| Wolverines are dope. | ||
| Super cool. | ||
| Well, I just think seeing one of them fuckers, that's rare. | ||
| It's rare to see one of those things in the wild. | ||
| My dad wanted to see a bear. | ||
| For 30 years he had this dream. | ||
| I don't know if he's lying or what the hell is going on. | ||
| But we're on this plane and he's so excited. | ||
| He's like, I'm going to see. | ||
| My dad's a little kind of intuitive that way. | ||
| And he's like, I'm going to finally do it. | ||
| I've been looking for 30 years. | ||
| And when you look hard enough and you're diligent about what you want, I believe that you get it through diligence. | ||
| And I've been looking for bears for 30 years, whatever. | ||
| And so he brought catnip. | ||
| So he could get the bear to come out. | ||
| I'm like, what's the deal? | ||
| So of course my dad ends up going on some hike and he sees a bear. | ||
| And he leaves the catnip as a treat. | ||
| He ends up leaving. | ||
| And now I was so scared. | ||
| You know catnip gets the cat's hype. | ||
| It's like crack. | ||
| I'm like, please don't give crack to the bear. | ||
| I don't think it works that way. | ||
| I hope to God that, I don't know how would you know, has anyone ever given catnip to a bear? | ||
| I'm sure someone's done it. | ||
| That's very niche. | ||
| I'm pretty sure one person's done it. | ||
| Catnip doesn't work on dogs. | ||
| So why would it work on bears? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dogs aren't bears. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They seem to be more dog-like than cat-like. | ||
| Well, no bears ended up going ham and doing anything crazy. | ||
| Where'd your dad see a bear? | ||
| He was somewhere on the East Coast doing a show. | ||
| There's plenty of places to see bears. | ||
| You don't have to wait 30 years. | ||
| My dad probably was lazy as hell and probably said, I looked everywhere, probably opened his front fucking door. | ||
| Bear wasn't standing there and went back inside. | ||
| Well, that's what people think when they're worried. | ||
| There's no bears left. | ||
| Go outside. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Let's go to the right place. | ||
| I've seen bears. | ||
| There's plenty of bears. | ||
| I spent a little bit of time in Vancouver, BC with my brother. | ||
| This is actually one of the crazier things I've ever done. | ||
| People think I'm so crazy, but this is the craziest thing. | ||
| But it's not even that nuts. | ||
| I was following Nat Geo on Instagram, and I love the pictures of the spirit bears. | ||
| I love those beautiful bears up in BC. And I kind of started reading about the wolf cull up there, and I got really kind of invested in these animals. | ||
| I sent a DM and said, is there any way that some point I could go with maybe some of your researchers and I could see some of these bears or wolves for myself because I think I'd be even more inspired to fight for them if I could actually see them and know that they're really real because I've only ever seen them from a picture. | ||
| And they responded and said, sure. | ||
| You can come up and hang with the spirit. | ||
| This is kind of like, I don't know if it's catfishing or I don't know what was really going on, but someone's telling me, sure. | ||
| So me and my brother load up. | ||
| I didn't really want to get my parents involved. | ||
| So we got a coach flight and had to go through San Francisco. | ||
| Then we got this shitty little hotel room because we were just trying to, I didn't know how to do it. | ||
| Everyone's always done my travel for me, managers and all these things. | ||
| So I was just booking it. | ||
| So we end up taking two little planes, three boats, and we end up getting to this dude, Ian, who shoots for Nat Geo and shoots up in BC. And it was just amazing. | ||
| And I got to see all the spirit bears. | ||
| I got to go into where they do all their research on their boat. | ||
| So they'll leave these kind of like trap combs where it just brushes the bear's hair when it walks by so they can understand kind of more about it. | ||
| DNA test. | ||
| Yeah, sort of looking about like... | ||
| All this information. | ||
| Again, this is one of the kind of weirder things that I've done that I didn't really know who was going to be waiting on that boat. | ||
| I mean, I know we tell girls not to go out into the middle of a boat. | ||
| How old were you when you were doing this? | ||
| This was two weeks after the VMAs in 2015. So you're already super famous. | ||
| I was super famous. | ||
| Going out there to find bears. | ||
| With my brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you are. | |
| There I am. | ||
| Yeah, there I am. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you find that if you're not glammed up, you can kind of sneak around? | ||
| Well, this is kind of funny because I think it's happening in a second. | ||
| They gave me a caterpillar that if you lick its belly, your tongue goes numb. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| And I pretended that it might happen somewhere here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Save the BC Wolves. | ||
| But if you don't wear makeup and shit, can you sneak around? | ||
| Yeah, I sneak around pretty good. | ||
| It's the voice. | ||
| I just have to shut up. | ||
| Yeah, it's the voice. | ||
| Can you fuck with your voice and make it high? | ||
| Can you pretend? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I have a phone voice, I think. | ||
| Apparently, you know, I directed this last video and apparently when I read my presentations, I have like a different voice, you know, like when you answer the phone. | ||
| But I think it sounds the same. | ||
| My phone voice, I think, is like, I think it just sounds the same. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's what gets you. | ||
| That's what gets me every time. | ||
| People know. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, wait, but listen to her talk. | ||
| But the voice. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's her. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm telling you. | |
| I'm telling you. | ||
| That's the worst when you hear those whispers. | ||
| Yeah, those are weird whispers, right? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Your life of growing up famous, that doesn't end well for most people. | ||
| You're remarkably together for someone who grew up famous. | ||
| You know, it's a weird way, it's a weird alchemy to put together a human being where in your developmental stages, pre-teen in fact, you're hugely famous. | ||
| What do you think that did for you? | ||
| What did it do for me? | ||
| Do you think that's a good thing? | ||
| Or do you think it's a manageable thing? | ||
| I would say it isn't recommended because like I kind of said in the beginning of this, it's like jumping in the deep end of the pool and not knowing if you can swim or not and it can go one way or the other. | ||
| Luckily I swam. | ||
| But it almost always goes the wrong way. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| And that I don't think comes very recommended and I wouldn't recommend it. | ||
| I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've kind of been given this, like, special, I don't know, kind of special understanding of, I don't even know where it comes from because I'm really not religious, and maybe it comes from, like, education of getting a good understanding of, you know, I've got kind of a good idea of, like, what fame does on kind of, like, if we're looking at it from a level of... | ||
| Were you thinking about this when you were young? | ||
| I wasn't thinking about this when I was young, but I started thinking about it at the time where I think it kind of mattered that I could go one way or the other, and that was probably when I was 17 and I bought Dr. Amen's book about understanding why I can't get high enough on drugs and why I end up doing more drugs than anybody else. | ||
| I wrote a song where one of the lines says, I'll go toe-to-toe like I'm Ali. | ||
| I'll do more that could be the biggest guy in the room, and I'll say, I'll be able to do more drugs than you. | ||
| But it's because my level of what high is... | ||
| I felt it from, I mean, when you're having 15,000 people scream your name and sing along to your songs, it's like, you know how you're saying your float tank is getting high without drugs? | ||
| It's like that times a billion. | ||
| So it's really hard to come down off that, and I never luckily had a problem with taking downers to bring myself down, but there was a lot of people around me that was like, you know, just take half of these and you'll be fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so I'm lucky I didn't start messing with downers. | ||
| I think it also might have to do with your head injury. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| There's a real big connection between people with traumatic brain injury and the need for either alcohol or cocaine or something to perturb your natural state of consciousness. | ||
| And a lot of my brain is really, really on. | ||
| It's got like overactivity. | ||
| But then again, if you kind of look at the part, that frontal lobe that kind of tells you, you know, yes or no or stops you from making a bad choice, mine gets a little sleepy sometimes when I'm not doing, especially when it comes to the diet. | ||
| When my diet isn't, you know, it's annoying because... | ||
| I do like to... | ||
| One, I'm country, so I like to eat bad food. | ||
| I had never... | ||
| My mom used to get mad if I would tell her I don't want butter. | ||
| Like, my mom is like... | ||
| That's great for you. | ||
| Yeah, now I'm fine. | ||
| But I just remember growing up, my mom, you know, we ate frozen waffles and all that. | ||
| We don't know anything about nutrition. | ||
| I grew up on that country diet. | ||
| And so I learned a lot. | ||
| Honestly, I mark a lot of... | ||
| My, I guess, kind of like my grounding in the weight that I have to my diet, to my supplementing, to my maintenance, to the diligence, to the sport that being an entertainer is. | ||
| It is a sport. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Are you the boss? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes, I'm the boss. | ||
| You're the boss. | ||
| I'm the boss. | ||
| Do you have a mentor? | ||
| Do you have someone that you can consult with when shit is weird? | ||
| I send faxes back and forth to Dolly Parton because that's how she communicates. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That's how we communicate. | ||
| Well, listen, if you need a mentor, that's the mentor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| There's a woman who's done it. | ||
| And I kind of, I try to kind of, you know, my life moves so fast. | ||
| I try to kind of send her a little Kind of rundown of what's going on every other month. | ||
|
unidentified
|
By fax? | |
| You guys fax each other? | ||
| She faxes me, then I send an email and they fax to her. | ||
| They email the fax to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's something amazing about that. | |
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| She records everything on the cassette and all that. | ||
| She records it on the cassette? | ||
| I have actually a recording of her saying it. | ||
| It's somewhere. | ||
| It's on the beginning of Rainbowland or at the end of it. | ||
| Oh, I listened to that. | ||
| She goes, alright, I'm going to put this on my cassette. | ||
| Then I'm going to run it down onto a CD. Oh, I'm so high tech. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We played Jolene, your cover of Jolene, on this podcast once. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| A lot of kids kind of think that's my song now. | ||
| That's what I like doing about covers. | ||
| I think you were talking about that Cornell tribute at one point also. | ||
| That's what I love. | ||
| My fans, you know, they wouldn't really know unless I introduced it to them. | ||
| And that's something that I really love. | ||
| And that happened recently with Midnight Sky and Stevie Nicks. | ||
| There's a sample of Edge of Seventeen, which I got... | ||
| I got blessed by her to be able to allow me to do it. | ||
| I had another melody, a B melody. | ||
| It's definitely below a B because it's not Edge of Seventeen, which is my top five favorite song ever. | ||
| And she said, you can borrow from me anytime, which like... | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's got to be pretty badass to be able to be in contact and to collaborate with all these amazing artists. | ||
| And I went on the road with Joan Jett for a little while, too, and she was on tour with The Who. | ||
| I went and hung out with her for a little while. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Even if I'd show up there and I'd maybe been partying too much and she would yell at her manager, Kenny, who's been her manager and in her band from the beginning. | ||
| Kenny, we gotta get her some Mexican food or something. | ||
| Look at her! | ||
| She's gonna break in half! | ||
| And all of a sudden all this food starts showing up in my room and I think she's probably seen, not just in her own band, but I think she's seen everything. | ||
| And I think she's seen it go the wrong way. | ||
| You know how we're talking about whether you swim or drown? | ||
| I think she's seen a lot more people drown and so she always tries to feed me. | ||
| But that's where it's got to be really hard if you're a woman like her who's been there, done that, and then you see some young girl coming up and you're like, damn, this lady right now is in the waves. | ||
| And you've been in the waves many times where that ship is rocking back and forth and you don't know which way it's going to go. | ||
| When you're a 17-year-old kid and you're doing a lot of mushrooms and smoking a lot of pot and also you're super fucking famous and really people can't tell you shit, which is part of the problem. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's why my mom's the best. | ||
| I didn't understand she was the best at the time. | ||
| She'd still take my cell phone. | ||
| I'm like, how can you take it? | ||
| I'm paying for it. | ||
| And she's like, I gave you life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up! | |
| My mom still took my cell phone until I was almost 20. You have an almost manic way of talking. | ||
| Your way of talking is almost like a fountain. | ||
| Like a crazy fountain. | ||
| Words just keep coming and ideas just keep coming. | ||
| How do you shut that off? | ||
| I am into a lot of these... | ||
| I love the idea of these hypnosis apps. | ||
| I have a lot of those on my phone. | ||
| Which ones do you use? | ||
| I like Amen Clinics. | ||
| I'm all about my boy, Dr. Amen. | ||
| I listen to Headspace a lot. | ||
| And I like Calm. | ||
| I use that a lot also. | ||
| Calm's great. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Actually, my favorite thing about Headspace is I love the Sleep Skate. | ||
| And my favorite one is the Cat Marina. | ||
| Because I do love boats and I do love cats. | ||
| So that's a dream for me after a long day. | ||
| Does that work on you? | ||
| Does it calm you down? | ||
| When my house burned down, I literally, I'm not joking, the cat marina got me through. | ||
| I was standing in South Africa and every night I'd be like, hello and good evening. | ||
| You're at the cat marina. | ||
| Lucky for you, you love cats. | ||
| What do you love more? | ||
| Boats. | ||
| And it's like, hell yeah, I'm at the Cat Marina. | ||
| My house is on the ground in a million pieces and I'll never see anything that I love inside of again, but I'm at the fucking Cat Marina. | ||
| I'm not a doctor, but if I was, I would prescribe to you some ridiculous, rigorous exercise. | ||
| I think you're like a little Ferrari and you need to get out there on the fucking racetrack. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| I really think that. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| I see all this fucking energy you have. | ||
| I'm like, that lady's like an overflowing battery. | ||
| This is why I like to work hard. | ||
| Yes, I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah, I love to work. | ||
| Yeah, you're a thoroughbred. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And when I don't work, that's when I get in trouble. | ||
| But you also got to think about there's genetics involved you know your father was a musician and you know just and then all your life being in the public eye like that and Performing and working and then just the amount of effort that you put in when you were a kid touring all the time I mean you're fucking geared for that shit, you know And I just feel like people like that your body can betray you sometimes I know that. | ||
| I have a lot of physical pain, to be honest with you. | ||
| And that's something I'm working on and trying to figure out, too. | ||
| And that had a lot... | ||
| You got physical pain? | ||
| Physical pain. | ||
| My hips, like, really, really hurt me. | ||
| And my hips drive me crazy. | ||
| From what? | ||
| If I fly, I think, I don't know, maybe it's just the... | ||
| Do you stretch? | ||
| I do stretch. | ||
| I'm actually overly flexible. | ||
| I'm, like, kind of double-jointed everywhere. | ||
| And so I have a lot of, like, shoulder... | ||
| Like, my shoulder will just slip out. | ||
| All the time like it kind of just does weird things and my arms twist in weird directions. | ||
| Are you physically strong? | ||
| Physically strong? | ||
| I think I'm pretty strong. | ||
| I've been stronger. | ||
| I've been stronger. | ||
| Maybe it's like a muscle thing. | ||
| Maybe you need to exercise, weight lift. | ||
| I really really loved lifting and Doing all my weight training, my resistance, and then the veganism. | ||
| I think I'm really kind of building myself back up to realize what works. | ||
| So I'm actually right now in a very experimental period. | ||
| It's actually fun to talk about with you because I know that you kind of have probably some good suggestions on that. | ||
| But I'm experimenting a lot with my diet and my body and my routine and my exercise right now. | ||
| Because, I mean, kind of like... | ||
| Leaving veganism is really terrifying. | ||
| Like you said, the public kind of will destroy you for that. | ||
| How long were you vegan? | ||
| I was vegan from 2013 till 2019. So in 2019, what was the first thing that you ate? | ||
| My ex-husband cooked me some fish on the grill. | ||
| I cried for a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You cried for the fish? | |
| I cried for the fish. | ||
| Those are little fucks. | ||
| They don't even take care of their kids. | ||
| Listen, I have some videos on my phone of my fish at home. | ||
| I have a blowfish that runs to the side of the tank every time I come home, so it really hurts me to eat fish. | ||
| Because it thinks you're going to feed it. | ||
| And I do every time. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I haven't really had... | ||
| You get shot in the head. | ||
| That fish doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Well, that's what my ex said about the dogs. | ||
| And I'm like, I can't do this. | ||
| The dogs... | ||
| And he's like, watch this. | ||
| Starts feeding them the fish. | ||
| They're like, they're happy. | ||
| You know, they'll eat it. | ||
| So that's what I had. | ||
| And it was because of a hip pain. | ||
| I had actually going to... | ||
| We were flying to, I think, Poland or something on a tour that I was on. | ||
| And I started sobbing, crying on the plane because I couldn't sit any longer because my hips were hurting so bad. | ||
| So this was pre-gluten? | ||
| And laying on the floor. | ||
| Pre-quitting gluten? | ||
| Now I'm back on gluten. | ||
| Now you're back on it. | ||
| I did a trial period of 18 of kind of removing things, because I think when you try all these different diets, like, okay, now I'm going to try keto, now I'm going to try vegan, now I'm going to try this. | ||
| You're doing it at such a kind of, it's really hard to know what's affecting you. | ||
| So I tried to go slowly, like, okay, it takes a freaking long time, but going through and going, I'm going to eliminate this now, and then I'm going to put it back and see how I feel. | ||
| My body, when I am Supplementing, especially with the omegas, like the omegas have really changed my life for me. | ||
| I think, again, you know, you kind of refer to me as something like a car, and I think that we are kind of like a car, and I was like so dry from having none of these healthy fats in my diet. | ||
| I did what I could with like as many frickin' avocados a day as I could have in other things, but it's hard to get the fat. | ||
| It's not as bioavailable. | ||
| And your brain is, you know, your brain really needs those fats. | ||
| And, you know, it was really, really hard for me. | ||
| Fish oil is the way to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| I know people don't like it. | ||
| They don't like the idea behind it. | ||
| But, goddammit, it's so good for your brain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love, I do kind of like the fish egg vital choice also. | ||
| That sounds great. | ||
| I love vital choice. | ||
| Fish egg is the way to go. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's the best way to get your omegas. | ||
| It's really helped my hip so, so much. | ||
| Well, that's an inflammation issue then. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think in general, my brain, like you're saying, is kind of on fire. | ||
| It is in flames. | ||
| I think in general, I'm in flames. | ||
| So I'm looking for, in my life, not just in kind of like dating or relationships, but in general, the people I like to have around. | ||
| I like to have those kind of water signs. | ||
| I like someone that can kind of... | ||
| or earth signs, but I love water signs because I love being... | ||
| And in general, I love people that are kind of like fluid and that can kind of put some of that on my flame because it gets overwhelming sometimes, the amount of heat and energy that I generate. | ||
| I actually was reading something about ducks that's interesting, the way that ducks handle their energy. | ||
| Ducks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| How do they handle their energy? | ||
| So ducks, you know, I guess they're a form of exercise. | ||
| So apparently... | ||
| I was reading this in a book last night. | ||
| I don't know if it's... | ||
| I guess it goes with my realistic children's stories. | ||
| But I was reading about ducks. | ||
| How they kind of ferociously flap their wings. | ||
| And then they kind of swim off in peace. | ||
| And you'll see these weird kind of patterns that they do. | ||
| And especially if two ducks are together. | ||
| So you throw a piece of bread in the water. | ||
| One of the ducks get it. | ||
| They get a little fight going on. | ||
| Then they both separate ways. | ||
| They go to their own spot and start flapping their wings all crazy to get out some of that energy. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| And then they just swim away in peace. | ||
| And I'm like, I guess that's kind of what you're saying that I need. | ||
| I need to be more duck-like. | ||
| Whether it's the beginning of the day or the end of the day, I need something to go and flap my wings and get out that extra energy because I think that's part of the physical pain. | ||
| Like when I went to go check in on the pain before and I've been to a lot of people here and... | ||
| No one seemed to help me with the physical pain. | ||
| It actually gets really, really bad. | ||
| Like, especially if I fly, I usually have to lay on the ground because my back hurts me so bad and my hips hurt me so bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| I know, and I'm too young for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For you to be this young? | |
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| And there's no real injuries you could point to that cause this. | ||
| So I overdid Ashtanga yoga for a couple years because I am an extremist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's a little controversy between Ashtanga yoga and the kind of, like... | ||
| Hip injuries? | ||
| Yeah, hip injuries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you get an MRI? I've done everything and everything looks good. | |
| You know, everyone says we have no idea, you know, kind of what's going on, but they're not really taking into consideration my lifestyle, which that has to do something. | ||
| You know, I have to put it somewhere. | ||
| This amount of energy, I don't always get it out. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I need to freaking run more. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| The running helped me a lot when the house burned down, too. | ||
| In South Africa, I was running every day. | ||
| Yeah, I would think that someone like you, you need something rigorous. | ||
| If I don't work out, I'm not a great person. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| I can guarantee you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| We don't do calls or work meetings before I work out. | ||
| We know this. | ||
| We've learned from the past. | ||
| Do you have a trainer? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| Is it a good trainer? | ||
| I have a bad-ass trainer, but I need to... | ||
| I think in times where... | ||
| My trainer is kind of like family like for me now and maybe getting a little too soft. | ||
| A little too soft in the way that when I'm going through like you know this week I went through like another public breakup. | ||
| I had the VMAs. | ||
| The song was coming out at the same time and when I got into the gym like I would sometimes just start crying because I love them like family so when you walk in I would just start crying. | ||
| Because you know that you could be comfortable around them. | ||
| Just comfortable and then I think that it's hard to go okay now I'm gonna beat your ass because I think he thinks life is beating my ass but maybe I need just Maybe it's tough love. | ||
| Yeah, there's a job to be done. | ||
| All that emotion's great and it's wonderful that he loves you and that you guys are friends. | ||
| I think it's a little bit my bad for wondering how hard I want to be pushed. | ||
| Well, it's also you're the boss. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| When you're the boss and you're Miley Cyrus, you can't say, listen, bitch, it's time to go to work. | ||
| He'll do it to me sometimes, which I like. | ||
| But you can't do it too much because then you're like, no, no, no, I'm the fucking boss. | ||
| Then I think I want to kind of I don't know what it is. | ||
| It's not give up, but then I think sometimes I wonder how much... | ||
| And I really don't even like saying this because I kind of have guilt for my life. | ||
| Like, I don't mean it's too much. | ||
| Like, I can't take anything else. | ||
| Like, I know that I don't have the hardest life. | ||
| I know how lucky I am. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't need to compare because just what you do is very difficult. | ||
| Don't make any mistake about that. | ||
| I have a hard time with that. | ||
| I feel very guilty. | ||
| The nonsense. | ||
| Throw someone else into your existence. | ||
| First of all, A, you didn't choose it, okay? | ||
| You were a little kid and you became famous. | ||
| B, being in the public eye and just dealing with the things we're talking about, about people writing stories that are fake about you, all that stuff comes at a price. | ||
| And if you read it, it comes at a heavier price. | ||
| But even just knowing it exists, it gets in your head. | ||
| You have to be very strong to be able to ward that off, and the idea that you don't, and that it's easy, and that a regular life is easier. | ||
| Horseshit! | ||
| Regular life is just a regular life. | ||
| It's not easier or harder, but what you do is fucking hard. | ||
| It's very hard. | ||
| You're very famous. | ||
| Being very famous is weird. | ||
| And being very famous your whole life is even weirder. | ||
| So a normal person develops, right? | ||
| You go through life and you meet friends and you have to show that you're a good person to get people to like you. | ||
| You have to show some excellence at something for people to praise you. | ||
| You're getting fucking praise from the time you're a baby, basically. | ||
| It's a weird way to develop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so for you to reach adulthood and try to be conscious and try to be sentient and try to like to just Stay balanced. | ||
| It's you're dealing with a situation that 99.999% of the population has no fucking idea what you're handling Yeah, the only people that are gonna understand it are people that also grew up famous. | ||
| Yeah, which I have a hard time with because I haven't made that exactly my peer group and now I kind of am like I think I've been really searching for some sort of normalcy in my life and For sure. | ||
| And so I think I haven't surrounded myself with the top Of kind of people that are also at this level. | ||
| Because I have a lot of guilt. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I feel like that would make me shallow or something for only surrounding myself for rich and famous people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But people do that because they're the only ones that can relate to you. | ||
| And that's what I'm working on. | ||
| You feel like people that are regular folks, they treat you weird or they like you more than they should or they praise you more than they should because you're an alien. | ||
| You're not like a regular person that walks into a room and you'll never be a regular person. | ||
| And I think rather than trying to prove excellence in any way when I walk in a room, I try to prove really hard that I'm normal. | ||
| And that's exhausting. | ||
| But I don't want to be normal, which is funny because it's kind of like you make a goal. | ||
| I do this with Eamon about making a goal and then going towards what I want. | ||
| It's like I don't want to be normal. | ||
| But I constantly struggle with, am I a fucking rich asshole? | ||
| Well, this is the beautiful thing. | ||
| The beautiful thing is that you're thinking. | ||
| You're thinking about all this. | ||
| You're balancing it out. | ||
| But this is not a path that very many people have gone through successfully. | ||
| And so that's why you have to be careful because you're here right now. | ||
| You're okay. | ||
| Right now, Miley Cyrus in 2020, you're great. | ||
| You're good. | ||
| I mean, you've gone through divorce. | ||
| You've gone through this. | ||
| You've gone through that. | ||
| But you're right here right now. | ||
| You're okay. | ||
| The path forward is treacherous. | ||
| It is going to be, because you didn't develop like a normal person. | ||
| Every fucking child star, I mean like maybe like Jodie Foster, like how many of them made it through? | ||
| And I don't know her, maybe that lady's crazy. | ||
| She's an amazing actress, right? | ||
| There's a few that made it through, there's not many. | ||
| And it's not a good path. | ||
| It's not a path that I would ever recommend to somebody. | ||
| And once you've gone through it, there's no way to go back and do it all over again, right? | ||
| But I say with confidence that I feel like I could be the one because I feel like I don't expect it to be easy and I don't even want it to be. | ||
| Actually, I had a guy trying to be shitting me one time said, you want a guy that'll just do whatever you want? | ||
| I said, that's where you're wrong. | ||
| I want like all the challenging things. | ||
| If it's something that's easy, I don't fucking want it. | ||
| I never have. | ||
| That's why I didn't keep living my life in Nashville where we were the biggest fish in the small pond and all that kind of thing. | ||
| You know, I needed more. | ||
| And the reason why I say that with confidence is because I'm really willing to do the work. | ||
| And I'm also I'm willing to look at myself from a human level and also look at like what my body needs to thrive. | ||
| And I know that it can't be cocaine for me, and I know that it can't be alcohol, and I know that unfortunately I love fucking fish, but at this point I gotta eat it to be able to have my brain to work as quickly as you and I are going right now, or what I have to do later today, and going to the studio tonight, and I understand myself from a human, | ||
| there's nothing about me that thinks I am superhuman, and I think that, I think I would take that as something that That makes me unique because I don't think that I'm really – I know that there's something special about me in my life, but I don't feel that on this level of being a human that I'm different. | ||
| And so I know what it takes to keep this motor going and I also know when to take time. | ||
| Well, all those things you said are perfect. | ||
| As long as you have doubt, as long as you want to do better, as long as you're recognizing who you are is not exactly who you want to be. | ||
| You want to be better. | ||
| You want to figure it all out. | ||
| You want to work it all through. | ||
| And you have this weird guilt from growing up in this weird way. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| You're a fucking superstar when you're a little kid. | ||
| The guilt's crazy. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| And if you hang out with normal people, they're going to stick that in your face. | ||
| A lot of people hold my guilt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| They know it's a weakness, so they use it with me a lot. | ||
| You've got to find people that don't do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why my crew is pretty small. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Well, they're all nice people. | ||
| They are. | ||
| And they've all been in my life for over 10 years. | ||
| And that is possible. | ||
| People ask people that are famous, like, is it possible that you could find people that don't get weird around you? | ||
| Yeah, you could find them, but they have to be strong people. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You have to have people that have their own personal sovereignty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| People that can hold their own space. | ||
| They don't need you, they just love you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that is possible. | ||
| Man, you know, I had someone that tried to hurt me and say that I've had really amazing people in my life, but I've had people that have tried to hurt me too. | ||
| I even brought my little scarf just in case I got emotional, because I really might. | ||
| I had someone recently try to tell me that everyone in my life is afraid of me. | ||
| And that really makes me upset. | ||
| Well, I bet a lot of people in your life are afraid of you. | ||
| I think everyone in my life that I have in my close inner circle really loves me. | ||
| And so to say that everyone in my life acts out of fear of me. | ||
| My mom, I'm almost fucking 30. She will whip my ass. | ||
| My mom will actually hit me. | ||
| But I don't mean it a bad way. | ||
| I don't mean that they're afraid of you, like afraid you're going to do something terrible and they're afraid around you. | ||
| I mean, you're a powerful thing. | ||
| There's no getting away from who you are. | ||
| You've got to kind of accept that you're Miley Cyrus. | ||
| You're a very strange thing. | ||
| There's one Miley Cyrus in the universe that we know of, and it's you. | ||
| And you're really fucking famous, and you're really young. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| There's no getting around that. | ||
| And the fact that you feel guilt about all this, and the fact that you want things to be difficult, those are all the best indicators that you're trying to do better. | ||
| Like, you get it. | ||
| You do get it. | ||
| And you know that you have a hard road. | ||
| And the people that don't think you have a hard road, they're out of their fucking mind. | ||
| Like, I didn't get famous until it was much later in life. | ||
| And it was a slow drip into my 30s and into my 40s. | ||
| I think it was healthier. | ||
| It was way healthier. | ||
| That seems healthy. | ||
| But I also, during the whole time, did martial arts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I was always humbled. | ||
| I was always getting my ass kicked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I feel like those two things are the only things that saved me from my own brain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because people are not designed to be famous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why kings are all tyrants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When you're the one person who gets to make all the calls, absolute power, it corrupts absolutely. | ||
| It's a common expression, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That happens with famous people. | ||
| I'm trying to have a good relationship with the power and feel a healthy dynamic towards it. | ||
| The way you're describing it is perfect. | ||
| Look, the Ellen situation. | ||
| I don't know Ellen. | ||
| She's probably a nice lady. | ||
| But she's in control. | ||
| She's in control of all these people and they're all scared of her. | ||
| She's like, fuck you, where's my tea? | ||
| That kind of shit, that's not a good place for a person to be. | ||
| To have that much control over that many people. | ||
| See, that's why I'm really, really proud of myself that I don't live in that world. | ||
| And I think I could probably also mark that up to animals and how much I love them. | ||
| And I think that's what led to my veganism for a time. | ||
| The fact that tonight I have to put powder on my dog's ass, that makes me happy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does the powder do? | |
| I don't get what the powder does. | ||
| Apparently, I think it kind of just... | ||
| Hopefully conceals in some way how disgusting. | ||
| It's very, very out there and in your face and I think it's more of like a concealer. | ||
| But I'm really happy that Kate Moss... | ||
| Hey guys, I get to say Kate Moss makes me put baby powder on her ass. | ||
| Just use that as the teaser. | ||
| One time, Kate Moss made me put baby powder on her ass. | ||
| It's called Monkey Butt. | ||
| So that makes me happy. | ||
| And one of my dogs, he's obsessed with drinking out of the pool. | ||
| And so he throws up all the time. | ||
| And it's disgusting. | ||
| And it honestly always makes me happy. | ||
| And the one thing that I like about my dogs is that they don't know who I am. | ||
| I mean, they know that they got a good living situation. | ||
| They're probably like, I wonder what she does for a living. | ||
| But because their life is pretty good and they get to go to other cool places also. | ||
| But yeah, my dogs don't know who I am. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| And the cats scratch the shit out of me all the time and the pigs are horrible. | ||
| They bite my ankles. | ||
| I love it about them. | ||
| Yeah, well, I bet that's one of the ways you achieve balance is through animals. | ||
| It's probably why you like them so much because they don't treat you like you're an alien. | ||
| They just treat you like your mama. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And yeah, their appreciation and gratitude level is something that I aspire to kind of recreate in my own life. | ||
| I love how gracious they are. | ||
| I think I really respect the way you're looking at things. | ||
| I like the fact that you know that you're in this weird situation and you actually feel guilty for it. | ||
| I don't think it's necessarily good to feel guilty, but the fact that you do is strong because it shows that you're conscious of how weird it is. | ||
| We've been working on my guilt a lot and what's funny is like I always want to cancel therapy when nothing's going on, which I guess is when we kind of need it, but I always want to cancel it. | ||
| And then we start talking about guilt and like, we got to work on your guilt and whatever. | ||
| But I'm like, I only call you out of guilt. | ||
| I don't want to do therapy and I don't even want to talk to you about what's going on in my life. | ||
| So we can't get rid of it too much because guilt makes us do good things. | ||
| I feel the same way about fear and anxiety also. | ||
| I do too. | ||
| Healthy fear, healthy anxiety. | ||
| That's one of the things I like about weed. | ||
| That's the mask. | ||
| I like to get scared. | ||
| You like to get scared? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I like to see the devil. | ||
| That's my friend Joey Diaz says it. | ||
| I don't like that anymore. | ||
| I like to see the devil. | ||
| I do not like that anymore. | ||
| I like to be paranoid. | ||
| I like to freak out. | ||
| I had a very great ayahuasca experience that I saw some things. | ||
| I saw like, I guess people take ayahuasca a couple of times, end up seeing these snakes that end up like taking you underground and you kind of meet mama ayahuasca and she walks you through everything. | ||
| Ayahuasca the woman that I was seeing is at the time where I just kind of started to become Like really dedicated to the veganism and she reached down my throat and pulled out every dead animal I had ever eaten and made me throw it up But I didn't see the animal that it was like I didn't see like a cow or pig or chicken like I saw me puking up all the animals I saw me picking up seals puking up a seal not fun Elephants all these other animals and I would see all the animals coming out of my body and I You're not supposed to have a companion in your ayahuasca | ||
| trip. | ||
| It's supposed to be just about you. | ||
| You know, like my life, the good perks, I got special treatment. | ||
| I could have my dog. | ||
| So I had my dog and I held my dog the entire time and I had a really, really intense trip. | ||
| But since then, I haven't really loved getting high as much as I used to. | ||
| It unlocked something. | ||
| Now I'm like, I just don't want to puke up seals again. | ||
| Well that sounds like you were dealing with some sort of personal guilt. | ||
| I was dealing with guilt! | ||
| Yeah, not just guilt for being famous, but also guilt for killing other lives to feed your own life that you already feel guilty for. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's all psychologically connected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What you see through psychedelics is it's not just the psychedelic. | ||
| It's what you bring to the psychedelic. | ||
| That's why set and setting is so important. | ||
| Well, you're supposed to be sober, I think, two weeks before you actually do the ayahuasca, which I was the only one that didn't do that. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if that's necessary. | ||
| I think DMT will take you there no matter what. | ||
| I've done some good DMT. I saw all my personalities greet me one time on DMT. All my personalities I saw and then I was like, I saw me as like a really ugly crier and then like me screaming, yelling at people and it was nice. | ||
| As I was sitting on the couch as it started to hit me, they almost kind of like accordioned back into my body. | ||
| The thing about all this craziness and the manic behavior and all of your guilt and all of your anxiety, there's something that comes out in your music. | ||
| There's some of that that comes out in this energy. | ||
| When you sing. | ||
| And I don't know if it would be there without it. | ||
| I think all brilliant artists are crazy. | ||
| I've never met one that isn't. | ||
| There's something that they have when, you know, they're bottling it all up inside, and whether it's they're playing the guitar, whether they're singing, when they sing, it comes out. | ||
| You know, and when you sing, it comes out. | ||
| But it's kind of new also. | ||
| Like, it's coming out in a whole other way. | ||
| You know, I look at videos. | ||
| Well, you're different. | ||
| I'm very different. | ||
| And I honestly feel like... | ||
| My voice changed a lot after the fire. | ||
| I could sing better after the fire in some way. | ||
| It's almost like it unleashed something. | ||
| It did. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Maybe I earned it. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is because I noticed that my voice got better as I Well, it's also probably you're more comfortable with who you are having gone through that. | ||
| The thing about having like a really, not an easy life, but a privileged life. | ||
| Like, you know, you've had so many doors open to you and so much wealth and so much success. | ||
| When you do something hard or something hard happens to you, at least you go, okay, I got through. | ||
| That was real. | ||
| I earned that. | ||
| I earned my point of view, my place of peace after a storm. | ||
| And every storm that you go through, that's why when you listen to Johnny Cash sing Hurt, I mean, that is... | ||
| How old was he when he did that cover? | ||
| He was like 80? | ||
| That's all those years. | ||
| God damn! | ||
| You hear that voice and it's like, there's something that's coming through. | ||
| Right! | ||
| There's something that comes through In the voice, there's something that comes through in someone's art when they've experienced things. | ||
| And this is what you're getting. | ||
| I mean, this is what your emotions and all that shit that bothers you and freaks you out and all the chaos, when you get in front of that microphone, that comes out. | ||
| It's almost, yeah, I guess your life is almost like... | ||
| It's kind of art in the way of... | ||
| I feel like I'm always doing performance art in some way, even in my personal life. | ||
| That's a problem, right? | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| It's hard to just be. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| It's hard to be in the moment and just be. | ||
| You always feel like you're putting on a show. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Well, it's because your whole life you developed putting on a show. | ||
| You know, and we talked, you know, obviously, I think a little bit about kind of in the beginning of this talking about technology and how it's changed things for me and streaming and all these things. | ||
| But it's also given everyone a voice. | ||
| The people that don't need one sometimes to say the things that they say, it gives them a lot of power and you've got to have a lot of restraints. | ||
| Like, listen. | ||
| You're sitting with someone that loves to do drugs. | ||
| I can't take drugs anymore. | ||
| I want to, but because there's a repercussion, I won't. | ||
| That's the same way I feel about looking at shit and looking at Daily Mail and looking at these things. | ||
| I won't do it. | ||
| Not because it's not tempting. | ||
| In a way, that gives you a rush too, right? | ||
| You look at it, you get those adrenalines and the butterflies. | ||
| I'm someone that likes to get high. | ||
| It gets you high drama. | ||
| So I try not to watch any dramatic TV or things like that because I'm also kind of a parrot. | ||
| I'm a sponge. | ||
| I never grew out of that. | ||
| You know, kids, they hear something, they can do it. | ||
| Like, I've always been like that. | ||
| If you show me once, I can do it right now. | ||
| But that's why I shouldn't watch dramatic television. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's why I always feel weird when girls are really into those true crime shows about rape and murder and shit. | ||
| You're like, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut that off. | |
| Yeah, no, it's not. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I don't think it's really that healthy. | ||
| That's why I love RuPaul's Drag Race. | ||
| It's like nothing really harmful is gonna come out of just slapping some wigs on and calling it a day. | ||
| Would they do death drops in a whole other way than what you guys do out there on the mats? | ||
| This is like, this is some intense shit. | ||
| I have never watched. | ||
| You've never seen a death drop? | ||
| What does RuPaul's Drag Race do? | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| Oh my god, what? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| It's my favorite. | ||
| Okay, honestly, RuPaul... | ||
| RuPaul... | ||
| When I said earlier I'm not religious, that's a lie. | ||
| I am RuPaul's Batarian. | ||
| I fuck with RuPaul. | ||
| RuPaul is God. | ||
| RuPaul lives by... | ||
| If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else? | ||
| RuPaul lives on a ranch in Wyoming. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| He's got it all figured out. | ||
| RuPaul, Mama Ru... | ||
| She's my life. | ||
| And the reason I love to watch her so much is really... | ||
| There's this thing that they do on the show, and it's called The Reading Room. | ||
| It's called The Library. | ||
| What is the show? | ||
| Because I know the name of the show, but I don't even know what it is. | ||
| You know, so the drag queens from all over the country, and now they're going all over the world. | ||
| They've got RuPaul's Drag Race everywhere. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's all over the world. | ||
| I watch RuPaul's Korea, RuPaul's Canada. | ||
| We watch everything. | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| This is one of my favorite, Alyssa Edwards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I think I might even be in the audience. | ||
| You know who that is? | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ow! | |
| That's what I'm telling you! | ||
| Look at that guy clapping. | ||
| Look at the way they're clapping. | ||
| I was here, look at her! | ||
| Look at her! | ||
| The way they're clapping is amazing. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yes! | ||
| Kick off the shoes. | ||
| Oh, you know who that is? | ||
| Yeah, I know Latrice! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| That's a big person to be doing that kind of a split. | ||
| She's got a song called Big Big Girl and she says, wait, come over here and pile some more food up on this plate. | ||
| I ain't going to the gym, bitch. | ||
| I ain't losing no weight. | ||
| Look at me, I'm sickening. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sickening. | ||
| Ooh, I may be fat, bitch, but you're ugly and I can lose weight. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| I'm right there. | ||
| There I am. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I'm in the audience. | ||
| So are my two friends that are here with me today. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh bitch! | |
| She's so sickening. | ||
| Y'all, it's Kennedy! | ||
| You know who Kennedy is? | ||
| I know every single one of them. | ||
| They all do the same move. | ||
| They drop down and do the splits. | ||
| That's what I think when I'm watching your shows too. | ||
| You know, all the same stuff. | ||
| But this move of the splits, they all do this. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| It's the money move. | ||
| Oh, the money move is the splits. | ||
| Look at how she got money in her hand. | ||
| Look, they're throwing it at her. | ||
| They're throwing money at her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's an OG. They should call this show, I Do the Splits. | |
| Death Drop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I got a highlight video of all these. | |
| It's called Best Death Drops and Splits. | ||
| I've seen this one. | ||
| So is that Death Drop when you do the splits? | ||
| That one's a Death Drop and Split. | ||
| That's also a very... | ||
| Oh, here she goes. | ||
| Ya. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Ka. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Yaws. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ow! | |
| Bam. | ||
| So is that a death drop? | ||
| No, that was a split. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What is the difference? | ||
| Death drop, you'll see it's when you go from standing. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| No, that's a split. | ||
| They're all splits. | ||
| You got to find death drops. | ||
| That's not a death drop. | ||
| Look up. | ||
| It's season, I believe, maybe 10 or no. | ||
| Season 9. Laganja-Stranja. | ||
| Laganja-Stranja. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, there! | |
| That's the death drop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's her. | |
| Laganja-Stranja. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| What about Jinx Monsoon? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| She just does a bad split. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bit me. | |
| She needs a little bit of flexibility. | ||
| We love Monet. | ||
| She's Miss Congeniality. | ||
| Monet needs a little bit of flexibility. | ||
| I don't love her so much. | ||
| I'm okay. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| They have to go all the way to the ground. | ||
| Alyssa's my favorite. | ||
| Oh, Alyssa's your favorite. | ||
| So she's got her own show. | ||
| She actually did the VMAs with me. | ||
| Now, you have to do a full split to be taken seriously. | ||
| Oh, there! | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| That's a serious split. | ||
| I'm clapping. | ||
| You can't have a bent knee? | ||
| Is that disrespectful? | ||
| I mean, you're not going to get any cash on the stage. | ||
| Oh, if your knee is bent, it's not good. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's LaGonza. | ||
| She's got the best one. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| That was her big split, but she's going to probably do another death drop. | ||
| Another death drop. | ||
| Right here. | ||
| This is a real death drop. | ||
| Right here. | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Go. | ||
| YAH! That's a death drop. | ||
| That's a death drop. | ||
| That looks like a good way to blow out your ACL. Look at that right knee. | ||
| That don't look good. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| If I was doing commentary on her, I'm like, she's going to be hurt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Boom! | ||
| That is terrible for your joints. | ||
| It's got to be awful. | ||
| Oh, look at her knee. | ||
| Here she goes. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| Cameron. | ||
| Okay, here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bam! | |
| Cameron Michaels. | ||
| Oh, that's a full side split. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| My goodness. | ||
| That's a lot of craziness. | ||
| So when you ask me why my hips hurt so bad, it's from practicing this. | ||
| You do all that shit? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't death drop. | ||
| I do not death drop. | ||
| That will fuck you up. | ||
| I mean, that's what fuck Prince's hip-hop. | ||
| No, I don't do that. | ||
| I tried it one time at GAY, and it was worth it. | ||
| What is GAY? My favorite gay club in London. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Boy, they just fucking nail it on the head. | ||
| GAY. Just call the club gay. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| It's so gay, it's just called gay. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's iconic. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| What do you want one? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Oh, this one's really crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's the craziest death drop ever. | ||
| Aces. | ||
| So, that's... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a brain damage death drop. | ||
| That's a death drop from five feet up. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Honestly, but, like, I feel like I've come alive since watching this. | ||
| What it does to me as, like, on a level that I just, like, I love it so fucking much. | ||
| Are they scoring them? | ||
| Well, usually in the ball, which is what you're doing, you're bringing it to the ball, like you're doing a runway. | ||
| Usually it's a one through ten, ten being the best, and you say tens, tens, tens across the board. | ||
| So this, what's happening here? | ||
| Oh, this is a really good performance that I love. | ||
| And these fellas? | ||
| Yeah, they're pit crew. | ||
| Pit crew. | ||
| They're kind of like the bitches that bring out the shit, and they're kind of like... | ||
| They're props. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's what I like about the show too. | ||
| I think all the men kind of like having to be the background dancers. | ||
| That blue paint is outrageous. | ||
| Her name is Alaska Thunderfuck. | ||
| She's Avatar. | ||
| Alaska Thunderfuck. | ||
| Yeah, she's one of my favorites. | ||
| This might be my new favorite show. | ||
| I'm telling you, Alaska Thunderfuck is absolutely my favorite queen. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I love Kitty Girl. | ||
| I think you've already had three or four favorite queens just in the time we watched this clip. | ||
| Well, Alaska is the one that I love her personal music. | ||
| What about Alyssa? | ||
| Are you turning your back on Alyssa? | ||
| No, Alyssa's my favorite performer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Alyssa is my favorite performer slash dancer. | ||
| And Alaska Thunderfuck? | ||
| Alaska has got amazing music. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So Alaska Thunderfuck's a musician. | ||
| Her big hit single is called Your Makeup is Terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pfft. | |
| I might have to watch this show. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| That's Detox. | ||
| Detox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| I actually grew up hanging out with her. | ||
| She worked at Beecher's Madhouse, which was like a freaky club. | ||
| Oh yeah, I met that dude before. | ||
| I met him at the comedy store. | ||
| So she, I end up, I kind of, that was like my, you know, Studio 54, like that era. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| So she was there. | ||
| She was one of the performers, so I know her. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| I grew up with her. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| So is this show like this every week? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So every week it's RuPaul and they're all... | ||
| And until there's a new episode, I watch the same one every day. | ||
| And who are the folks on the panel? | ||
| So usually there's a guest judge and then his best friend Michelle Visage and that's Todrick Hall. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Who's like a big choreographer and artist. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| I know a lot about this show. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, they are. | ||
| How often do you watch? | ||
| Is this like you're on tour? | ||
| I'm so thirsty for new episodes. | ||
| I'm watching RuPaul Canada right now. | ||
| RuPaul's not even on it. | ||
| It's just a spin-off. | ||
| What? | ||
| How do they have RuPaul Canada if it's a spin-off? | ||
| She's a genius. | ||
| She's the new McDonald's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's got it. | |
| So she just said, listen, I'm just going to put my name on this and just spread it out to Thailand and put it in Iteland. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everywhere. | |
| Everywhere around the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They're really fun to watch. | ||
| But without Ru, it's really not the same because she drops knowledge. | ||
| Knowledge? | ||
| Knowledge! | ||
| Like what kind of knowledge? | ||
| Like when I do feel guilty about like all my you know kind of what we talked about just like when I start feeling that guilt and I feel guilt that like when I tell someone I can't do this because I need to focus on me or I need to like take the time that I'm cooking for you to be using that time for my meditation and I become that person like I just give so much and I just love that she says if you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else? | ||
| I really love that. | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| It's a really good point. | ||
| I'm trying to just like that needs to be tattooed on my brain. | ||
| Well, RuPaul's also been around a long time. | ||
| Also a really great peer. | ||
| Got through all the ups and downs. | ||
| And look what she created like from a world that I mean still even in 2020 that's just not acceptable. | ||
| I live in Nashville, Tennessee. | ||
| It's none of my friends in Nashville they all don't know what I'm watching. | ||
| I can't believe that. | ||
| And it's just like the way that she's won. | ||
| I think she's up for like 14 Emmys this year. | ||
| What did she break out with? | ||
| What was like the first thing that she got popular with? | ||
| Booty. | ||
| What's her movie? | ||
| Something Booty. | ||
| Something Booty. | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| RuPaul Booty. | ||
| I'm going to be so annoyed because I have the DVD. Was it a movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was she famous for a song? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, you better work, supermodel, work it girl, give it a twirl! | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| Like, what is it, 80s, 90s? | ||
| That might have been right around the time your dad popped. | ||
| Why he didn't collab with Ru, I'll never understand. | ||
| That would have pushed him over the top. | ||
| That really would have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So RuPaul Dragway. | ||
| Remarkable longevity for RuPaul, right? | ||
| I'm telling you, RuPaul is the only one that in my book compares to Dolly. | ||
| That is crazy if you really stop and think about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is 30 fucking years of longevity. | |
| Wow. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Look how beautiful. | ||
| Look at the exaggerated femininity that drag queens... | ||
| Embrace. | ||
| I love that aspect of it. | ||
| That's called painting for the gods. | ||
| Painting for the gods? | ||
| Painting for the gods. | ||
| Show me. | ||
| Painting for the gods. | ||
| I'm not painted for the gods right now. | ||
| Oh, you mean with the makeup. | ||
| So when you're like, you're painted for the gods, that means like your makeup is like you have drawn on that face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Is that a drag queen expression? | ||
| Painting for the gods? | ||
| Is it okay to say drag queen? | ||
| Drag queen's all good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That one hung around. | ||
| We love drag queen. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's certain expressions from back in the day that you can't say anymore. | ||
| There's even been a drag queen on the show that is a straight male. | ||
| That just does drag. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| There's a straight male on here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you sure? | |
| Yes. | ||
| I bet you could talk him into some gay stuff. | ||
| He's a straight male. | ||
| Just gotta get him drunk. | ||
| Sure he's straight. | ||
| Isn't that all of us? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wink. | |
| Wink. | ||
| He is! | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| I believe what he says. | ||
| Well, he's probably really good at it, right? | ||
| Really good as a drag queen? | ||
| He knows what's sexy. | ||
| He knows what he wants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| I love that, yeah. | ||
| But that was explained to me about some men who love women, but like to dress as women. | ||
| Like there's a kink. | ||
| Like they like to be sexy. | ||
| I actually dressed as a man for RuPaul's Drag Race. | ||
| My name was BJ, if we can show you that, because I'm kind of like a hot dude. | ||
| I look a lot like Justin Bieber. | ||
| People tell me that all the time. | ||
| Like if I have a little scruff and like a side swoop, I go Bieber really quick. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But my name was BJ on the show, and I dressed as a guy, and I kind of thought it was kinky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you feel like a bad girl when you dress like a boy? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is 2020. Playing with gender roles, there's no shock value to it anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| There's no shock value to it? | ||
| There's no shock value to it. | ||
| Not in my community. | ||
| Oh, in your community of drag queen people. | ||
| In my community. | ||
| We're painted for the gods. | ||
| We're beat. | ||
| The beat, that's like you're beating your mug. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That means you've fucking pounded that shit into your face. | ||
| Like, even if you took a wipe and went like this, you'd still look like a woman. | ||
| Like, you have beat your mug. | ||
| That's what it's called? | ||
| You beat your mug? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You should see me. | ||
| If I had my brush in here, I'd show you how you do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You just like pound it. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| Oh yeah, there I am. | ||
| There you are. | ||
| That's you? | ||
| Oh yeah, so they can't see me. | ||
| I'm in a double-sided mirror, so they just see themselves, but I see them. | ||
| That's you? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That is the fakest looking beard I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| That's like Team America World Police. | ||
| Remember when the dude had to put on a fake... | ||
| Remember when the puppet put the fake wig on? | ||
| Yeah, it didn't work very well. | ||
| They recognized me right away. | ||
| But I swear it's the voice! | ||
| But maybe it was the beard. | ||
| It's your neck. | ||
| It might have been the beard. | ||
| My neck? | ||
| You've got a girl's neck. | ||
| Two fem? | ||
| Yeah, you have a girl's neck. | ||
| There's no way you're a guy. | ||
| It's not even physically possible. | ||
| Are you sure about that? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If I saw you, if you were like with the fake beard on your face, and then the neck, I'd be like, that's a chick. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Some of those drag queens, they could pass as a large woman. | ||
| That's why I brought a scarf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if I wear this? | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| To cover your neck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need a hoodie or something, like zip it up and put it over the top. | ||
| I think you're a young boy. | ||
| Hoodies aren't fashion? | ||
| No, hoodies are fashion. | ||
| Some of them are, right? | ||
| Hoodies are fashion. | ||
| I like wearing them in my own time. | ||
| Just don't want to be seen in public with them. | ||
| You wear hoodies on your own time, but not in public? | ||
| Yeah, not in public. | ||
| Oh, why not? | ||
| Because I'm Dolly Parton's goddaughter. | ||
| She would actually shame me to the end of the earth. | ||
| So are there rules if you're tight with Dolly? | ||
| I've done a lot of things. | ||
| I'm in here telling you about my ayahuasca trips. | ||
| This is all fine and dandy with Dolly. | ||
| Let's not even start talking about hoodies. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Dolly won't let you wear hoodies. | ||
| I mean, Dolly just... | ||
| It's not Dolly approved. | ||
| This earth needs to be Dolly approved. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Dolly is everything. | ||
| Somebody had a funny tweet about Dolly Parton once. | ||
| They said, I just saw a picture of Dolly Parton when she was young. | ||
| And the tweet said, what the fuck did Jolene look like? | ||
| I want to know who this Jolene chick is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| She must have been ridiculous. | ||
| Jolene must have been a fucking 150. I mean, there was no one more beautiful than Dolly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| She was about as hot as it gets. | ||
| And I love the way that she created her identity, too. | ||
| She created her identity from the town whore. | ||
| That everyone made fun of. | ||
| And she was like, I was looking at them like, this is an entire brand. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| And she goes, I just tried to recreate that. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she also just was so nice. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It just came through in everything she did. | ||
| It's like she was so likable. | ||
| Man, she brings merch everywhere and she will get from the bottom to the top. | ||
| Whoever worked on that set today, getting a dolly hat, you know, signed. | ||
| Getting donuts delivered. | ||
| She's just as cool as it gets. | ||
| I mean, I do think that that's a big reason, too, that I've been able to... | ||
| Not even because she's going to be mad, but you just don't want to disappoint Dolly. | ||
| Well, it's just you are very fortunate to be connected to this lineage. | ||
| The fact that you're tight with Dolly fucking Parton. | ||
| Like, if you're a young country singer, a man, and you know Willie Nelson, like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you're tight with Willie. | ||
| Like, you gotta cultivate that relationship. | ||
| That was kind of my dad with George Jones. | ||
| That's who I grew up around my whole life. | ||
| Like, George was my dad's right hand. | ||
| It was really painful for him when he died, because that was my dad's just stake in the grass, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about that, right? | ||
| Like this old guard that nurtures the young people coming up. | ||
| That relationship. | ||
| And I really want to be that person if I make it through the treacherous path we've discussed. | ||
| You're going to make it. | ||
| You know, I think so. | ||
| If anybody's going to make it that's gone through what you've gone through, the way you're looking at it is... | ||
| Look, it ain't easy, kid, but you can do it. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| Well, I would want to be that way with the next artist, and I still am. | ||
| Like, even from my position, I never like to say or seem like I think I know something that a new artist doesn't, but I've been doing it now 15 years. | ||
| My show came out when I was 12. I'm 27, going to be 28 in a month. | ||
| It's not even about whether or not you know something that they don't. | ||
| It's just what you know. | ||
| It's almost irrelevant what they don't know. | ||
| It's what you know. | ||
| And I just feel like it's kind of, you know, I never knew jealousy or competition through Dolly, through Joan, through Stevie. | ||
| That's why when I reach out to Stevie, she says, like, I know that this Corona thing's going on, but can we sit six feet apart in my backyard and talk? | ||
| I just want to be there for you. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Last time, you know, and it's like going through what I've kind of been going through over the last two years. | ||
| I think, honestly, some of the physical pain is growing pains, you know? | ||
| Like, I feel like some of the growth that I've had... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stress. | |
| Stress. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| And quickly just stretching, like, beyond, beyond, you know? | ||
| And I just... | ||
| But just the lack of being stable in your mind and the tension, that stuff manifests itself in back injuries all the time. | ||
| People always have weird back pains that are related to just their life being all fucked up. | ||
| You're always tense. | ||
| Yeah, I am. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like my back cracks like crazy, everything. | ||
| You know, down to when I'm asked what hurts, I literally feel embarrassed to say from the end of my toe to the top of my head pretty much hurts a lot of the time. | ||
| But I'm working on that pain management and I do like CBD. CBD is awesome. | ||
| Yeah, I love CBD. It's gigantic. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Yeah, but for you, I can't say this enough. | ||
| You need rigorous exercise. | ||
| You need something really hard, so when it's done, you're fucking spent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just laying on the ground, can't breathe, puddle of sweat, that type of shit. | ||
| You need to exercise the demons. | ||
| I have a seven-month German Shepherd at home, so that seems like a good... | ||
| If anyone's going to put me... | ||
| It's a running partner. | ||
| That's who's going to put me through it. | ||
| But you need You need someone to push you. | ||
| That's a good idea. | ||
| You need to purge the demons. | ||
| You got demons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they're in there 100%. | ||
| But again, you don't want to hold on to them a little bit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I like to use them to my advantage sometimes. | ||
| Fucking music, man. | ||
| There's something about the demons that come out in the music. | ||
| I mean, look, that's always why the great artist... | ||
| Like, think about Robert Johnson, right? | ||
| They even thought he sold his soul to learn how to play blues the way he did. | ||
| And it's because the fucking life experience came out in his music. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need both of those. | ||
| You can't be some person who just lives in a fucking monastery and breathes in and breathes out all day and then put out amazing art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to have pain and life and stress. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know that. | |
| And I think that's, you know, I guess one of our words we've used pretty consistently today is balance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I think that's pretty much got to be my mantra. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, for you, I mean, you are born into this treacherous path. | ||
| You have this crazy position that you find yourself thrust into where you're very famous at a very early age. | ||
| And also, there's also these weird expectations because you're famous for a Disney show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Right? | ||
| Which is even crazier. | ||
| And then post-Disney show, it's like, oh, she's... | ||
| And then that got erased by craziness and wild and, you know, being a provocateur. | ||
| And so now I feel like I'm breaking out of, like, another role in a way, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're becoming just yourself instead of a rebellious person who's trying to escape the, sort of, the boundaries of your persona. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that's why I wanted, you know, I have in my music video, I have me with the microphone with the microphone stand. | ||
| And the reason why that was so important was, like... | ||
| I'm not just fucking getting naked anymore and swinging around. | ||
| It's about the music comes first. | ||
| And I feel like I think people are very visual. | ||
| And if you can hold the fucking microphone in your hand and say, this is who I am. | ||
| This comes first. | ||
| By the way, I don't come without this. | ||
| Like at the VMAs, they tried to get me to get rid of my microphone for something that I'm going to be doing. | ||
| And I said, fuck no. | ||
| Like, what do you think? | ||
| I can't be Britney Spears with the headset and the snake. | ||
| What's important? | ||
| I don't want the snake. | ||
| I don't want the gag. | ||
| You know, and there was actually even some comments that day about, it was just an interesting conversation in regards to lighting because I've been kind of learning a lot, you know, from directors. | ||
| I didn't go to film school, but I have been put through that in that way. | ||
| So I directed the last video and that's what I look forward to doing in the next like 10 years. | ||
| I'd love to write and direct and, you know, kind of work on film in that way. | ||
| So now I have a better understanding of cameras and lighting operation and so I was just asking some questions about not even on some diva shit like I only want to get shot from this side whatever I wanted the lights to be turned off and that the lighting of the room to be just lighting me so no key light no beauty light and beauty light is Always used on women. | ||
| And I said, turn the fucking lights off. | ||
| You would never tell Travis Scott or Adam Levine that he couldn't turn the beauty light off. | ||
| I want this red lighting. | ||
| They said, okay, okay, we'll do it. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Just the same thing that we would do with the guys. | ||
| Because I was like, that's what I want. | ||
| And then something that I was doing, which I can't say, but something that I was doing for the VMAs. | ||
| My bracelets kept getting caught and all this shit. | ||
| And they said, you know, you wanted to be treated like a guy and lit like a guy. | ||
| We wouldn't be dealing with this if a guy was doing it. | ||
| And I said, well, a guy wouldn't be doing this because a guy doesn't sell your show with sex the way that I'm going to. | ||
| And I'm aware of that. | ||
| I know about what I'm doing. | ||
| You have these conversations with who? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The directors? | |
| I had these conversations with the directors talking to me. | ||
| That's a ridiculous conversation. | ||
| That's a ridiculous conversation. | ||
| Also embarrassing. | ||
| Because the conversation, once you see what happens on the show, you'll understand more. | ||
| Um... | ||
| If you see it. | ||
| But it might be hard not to, you know? | ||
| If you take walks like I do, you might see it, whether you want to or not. | ||
| If you take walks? | ||
| If you walk down the street and there's, I don't know, maybe people sell magazines. | ||
| I don't know about in COVID time. | ||
| Jamie will pull it up. | ||
| You'll see it at some point and you guys can discuss it. | ||
| He'll show me. | ||
| So, yes. | ||
| And so they're asking a lot of questions about that and, you know, like... | ||
| Well, how long is glam going to take and all this stuff? | ||
| And I was like, I mean, I can't really nail it enough, too. | ||
| It's like, I did come from the world of Dolly Parton, and I love pop culture for entertainment and escapism. | ||
| And again, you know, we're joking about the hoodie conversation, but I mean, like, you know, for me, I, there's nights where I don't do that. | ||
| You know, at Chris Cornell, I had on a pair of black pants and a fucking Chris Cornell t-shirt. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| The BMAs is a pop culture show celebrating pop culture. | ||
| And I wanted to bring, especially in this time of, you know, COVID-19, all these at-home performances, like, I want to give my fans escapism. | ||
| Good old pop culture. | ||
| This is surrealism. | ||
| How hard is it to deal with people that are directing you like that? | ||
| How hard is it to deal with other people and their vision and their talking and their this and their that when you're just trying to get out what's in your head and what your vision is? | ||
| I get it done. | ||
| You get it done. | ||
| I get it done, but my two... | ||
| The balance that I found is firm and kind. | ||
| I don't lose my kindness. | ||
| But I also don't become a Matt. | ||
| But I am firm about what I want. | ||
| But in a way that, you know, you might expect someone might say, man, she was a diva. | ||
| She was a bitch. | ||
| But it's again, it's like, okay, like have the weekend come in here and say the same thing. | ||
| And you would say him, you know, or Kanye is like a creative guy. | ||
| And it's like, come on, why am I not getting that I'm a creative mastermind, but I'm becoming a bitch? | ||
| It's like no one would ever say that about Kanye West choosing what lighting he wants on a performance. | ||
| Yeah, it's such a delicate balance too, right? | ||
| Because when someone's as popular as you, you know what the fuck you want to do. | ||
| And if this person who you're using as a director, if you don't have a deep relationship with them... | ||
| That's why I started directing my own shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's why I loved making my last video so much and directing it was because, one, I thought about my scenes almost like a relationship. | ||
| You're having a relationship with it. | ||
| When it's over, it's over. | ||
| What's painful isn't the relationship. | ||
| It's that when it's done, you holding on for that extra however long you try to make it work, something that's not working. | ||
| That's what I did on the video. | ||
| And that's what I hated when I was a kid, you know. | ||
| From directors not knowing what they want and then getting frustrated with the child for not performing properly. | ||
| It's like, but you're not communicating. | ||
| And I'm a child and you're an adult and you're not communicating properly so you're working me into the ground to get something that you don't know what you want. | ||
| And that was always really frustrating to me and I think that's why now a non-negotiable in my relationship or dating life is you better know what you want because I'm just not interested in taking another 10 years like I did with my first love figuring that out. | ||
| Now when you were doing these... | ||
| When you're putting together music, do you have anybody that, like if you're doing an album or you have a song, do you collaborate with people? | ||
| Would you write the songs entirely on your own and bring them to other musicians? | ||
| How do you construct something? | ||
| It's been different. | ||
| So on Bangers, which I kind of think my career as a solo artist, I guess, kind of started there. | ||
| I mean, not really. | ||
| When I started working on my very first record, and it was called Breakout, and it was because I was kind of breaking out of the character that I was in. | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Like 2007, I guess. | ||
| Maybe something like that. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| 2007. 13 years ago. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| 2007, yeah. | ||
| And I already had two records out already, but they were as Hannah Montana. | ||
| So you were 14. I'm 27, yeah. | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, so when you're on Hannah Montana. | ||
| And I already had two albums that were like number one and had done all the things. | ||
| And so then I had this like... | ||
| How much were you working? | ||
| Pressure. | ||
| Every single day. | ||
| Every Sunday too? | ||
| Sunday because I want to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| All day. | ||
| I remember one time I came home and my dad almost didn't let me go back on the road because I was so thin. | ||
| And he was like, what have you been eating? | ||
| I'm like, turkey, cheese, lasses. | ||
| And he's like, holy shit. | ||
| And who's taking care of you when you're on the road if it's not your dad? | ||
| My grandma. | ||
| My grandma and my mom. | ||
| My mom... | ||
| My mom is the reason I'm sitting here. | ||
| So your mom and your grandma would come with you on the road and you would just go town to town, arena to arena, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, eat, sleep, wake up, there you go, here's the mic, you look beautiful, go to school. | ||
| I did school in the morning. | ||
| What the fuck kind of school are you doing? | ||
| I had my teacher on the road with me who was the best, who I loved. | ||
| But no kids. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| No friends. | ||
| No other kids. | ||
| Just my little sister and my little brother. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| That was pretty weird. | ||
| It made my sister's life a little difficult also because her idea of success is completely blown out of proportion also. | ||
| Oh yeah, it's all fucked up. | ||
| And my brother too. | ||
| But my brother is very simple and I love him so much and he'll probably be listening to this. | ||
| And my brother... | ||
| Just has his chickens and his ducks and he's in Nashville and he's in a small little place and he's living more... | ||
| I sometimes wonder if he's the smartest of us all. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe he has less stress. | ||
| He has less stress. | ||
| That's the thing about stress though. | ||
| But he's also a fucking badass talent, but he just saves it. | ||
| He doesn't want to be on that level. | ||
| He wants to make music because he loves it. | ||
| He wants the people that are interested in him to hear it. | ||
| He doesn't have the, I gotta grind till I'm fucking... | ||
| Does he have some shit that's online right now? | ||
| He has some shit that's online right now. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Brazen Cyrus. | ||
| And how do you get... | ||
| Does he have an Instagram? | ||
| He has an Instagram. | ||
| He'll kill me. | ||
| Spotify? | ||
| He has a Spotify. | ||
| He has a song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he did Fallon. | ||
| And after he did Fallon, he's like, I don't think I want to do that ever again. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| He's like, man, that was too scary. | ||
| No, thank you. | ||
| And he didn't. | ||
| I'm like, all right. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| He had two shows. | ||
| One at CityWalk Universal down the street. | ||
| And he said, no, someone said I was fat and my hair was ugly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, you know... | |
| Many times I've been called Fallon. | ||
| My hair is ugly. | ||
| And he's like, I'm not ready for that. | ||
| He didn't perform again. | ||
| Then he's like, I'm going to try it again. | ||
| Fallon. | ||
| I'm like, you're going to go from Universal CityWalk to Fallon? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| So I go there and I try to change his shirt. | ||
| And he's like, no, this is me. | ||
| I'm wearing my flannel, you know, the whole thing. | ||
| So he goes out and kills it and he goes, uh-uh. | ||
| Not for me. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, you know, maybe growing up and seeing all the crazy shit that happened to you, it's almost like growing up around an alcoholic and never wanting to drink. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It can go one way or the other, right? | ||
| You either become my little sister who kind of wants it, you know, and she's got a record out that I love called The End of Everything. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| Noah Cyrus, and it's the most depressing EP you'll ever listen to. | ||
| She's 20 years old. | ||
| It's depressing? | ||
| She's emo. | ||
| She's like an emo kid. | ||
| Why is she emo? | ||
| Maybe because she was on the road with you and didn't go to regular school. | ||
| She has a song where she says, my sister's like sunshine and it'll follow her wherever she goes, but I'm more like a rain cloud. | ||
| You know, it's like she's really got this idea of me. | ||
| Maybe she needs to go to the doctor. | ||
| She is. | ||
| We're all at the doctor a lot. | ||
| We have like a salary doctor that just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| We gotta deal with that. | ||
| Yeah, she's dealing with it. | ||
| She's dealing with it, but she's only 20, so I worry about her. | ||
| It's the hardest age for kids today, too. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| Dude, if you don't look like these girls on Instagram right now. | ||
| They don't even look like these girls. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You wanna see something crazy? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| Look at what my 10-year-old did. | ||
| We were in a restaurant. | ||
| She took a picture of me. | ||
| My 10-year-old thinks it's fucking hilarious when she does this. | ||
| You know where it is, Jamie, right? | ||
| He'll put it up on the screen. | ||
| She took a picture of me and she goes, let me take a picture of you. | ||
| Make a face. | ||
| Crazy kissy face. | ||
| And then she put it through this filter. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| No! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| That's me through a filter. | ||
| Wait, that's not real. | ||
| Yeah, that's me. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| That's how bad these goddamn filters are. | ||
| What's wrong with your... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| What's happening with your... | ||
| Okay, so that's the original picture, right? | ||
| That's me and her at a restaurant, and that's what came out. | ||
| And meanwhile, if you know my 10-year-old, she's fucking hilarious. | ||
| She thinks it's so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like... | |
| That's not right. | ||
| That is how fucked up these goddamn filters are. | ||
| How did she do that? | ||
| It's just a filter in an app. | ||
| That's why these girls are so insecure. | ||
| Because they think all these people that they see online are perfect. | ||
| But every one of those bitches is using filters. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| And even people that I'm friends with, that contacted me, like, this is crazy. | ||
| I use filters, but that's fucking crazy. | ||
| So I don't have a filter on my phone, and I need to know, though, what your dog is using. | ||
| Like, I don't even understand this technology. | ||
| You don't want it. | ||
| It's witchcraft. | ||
| It's fucking trickery. | ||
| I couldn't believe that was real. | ||
| The only thing I have on my phone is where I can swipe on the Instagram story thingy and turn Paris. | ||
| You know, where it kind of blurs out your pores or something. | ||
| That's all I got. | ||
| Don't even use that. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It looks pretty good. | ||
| No, you look great. | ||
| You don't need that shit. | ||
| It looks really good. | ||
| No, it makes you look like a cartoon. | ||
| It doesn't make you look really good. | ||
| I don't do any of the shit with like... | ||
| But girls want that. | ||
| They want like no flaws. | ||
| They want everything to be like cloudy. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| That's basically what it does. | ||
| It makes you look like a fucking clown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not good. | |
| But that's not good. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| There's so much unprogramming to do on me. | ||
| There's so much on everybody. | ||
| There's so much unprogramming. | ||
| It's all these women out there that are these unrealistic expectations. | ||
| Like, I'm sure you saw that Khloe Kardashian picture that looks nothing like her. | ||
| Where it goes from the hairlines. | ||
| Nonsense. | ||
| They used Photoshop on her. | ||
| I mean, it's like CGI. You might as well be looking at a monster movie. | ||
| She turns into a werewolf. | ||
| That's not who she is. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And even for me, I think... | ||
| You know, in my real life, I don't wear any makeup. | ||
| I don't even, like, today someone asked me, like, what do you use on your hair? | ||
| And I'm like, shampoo and conditioner. | ||
| Like, I don't do anything to my hair. | ||
| I don't really do anything. | ||
| And that's been really fucking tough for me over the last few months, too. | ||
| Because I don't know why. | ||
| I guess I think as that keeps happening, like, as these technology things keep happening on Instagram and these filters keep getting better and better, I'm compared... | ||
| To the people altering, you know, themselves either physically, like with all these things you can do and lasers and all the shit, or to the filters and I've had a really hard time with that, you know, and I think it's hard for me the other day, you know, I get papped walking around my neighborhood in like a really shitty, dirty Fleetwood Mac t-shirt that I've been in for five days. | ||
| And it hurts. | ||
| Just don't go online. | ||
| Just detox from all that shit. | ||
| No Wi-Fi like B-Ray. | ||
| Just don't pay attention to all these other women that are doing these fucking wacky filters. | ||
| Because that's where everybody gets fucked up. | ||
| It's the comparison thing. | ||
| There's a book called The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and he talks about young girls and depression. | ||
| And this gigantic uptick in depression that directly coincides with the invention of the iPhone. | ||
| And that as the iPhone came up, and then pictures, and then social media, apps. | ||
| So at first a lot of it was social media, and people being mean to each other on Twitter, and all those things because you're not seeing each other. | ||
| There's no empathy. | ||
| I've listened a lot about this, about the iPhone kind of, I guess, mimicking Vegas slot machines and things. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I think it was called, what I listened to, was the slot machine in your pocket. | ||
| Yeah, well, it is a lot like that. | ||
| But the thing about it with women in particular, with young girls, is that they're comparing themselves to these cartoons. | ||
| These people that aren't even like that picture of me. | ||
| You know, when I got sober, I had to delete all the apps... | ||
| On my phone where I could purchase things like I had to take off Amazon and all the things on my phone because walking around with that slot machine in my pocket all of a sudden I'm getting these bills and things and yes I care about that and I want to live financially responsibly and all the things and I'm looking at this I'm like I don't even remember doing this like it's totally like being high on drugs. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And things started showing up and you're like, what the hell? | ||
| It's too easy. | ||
| I'm in the middle of a book now about that. | ||
| It's called Irresistible. | ||
| It's on my Instagram too, Jamie. | ||
| Irresistible is this book that is about how people are addicted. | ||
| It's by Adam Alter. | ||
| And it's about how people are addicted to your phones and applications, but it also goes into just the actual physical aspect of addiction and how it works on the brain and how we always like to think of addiction as like it's something that you get hooked physically and you can't live without it. | ||
| No, it's something that you have a compulsion to use and you can't avoid that compulsion for some reason. | ||
| And it doesn't even necessarily have to be good. | ||
| No, and it can happen with things like love. | ||
| And I've even felt that too. | ||
| And it's like in the most stressful times of my life, it's like, okay, I can't reach for drugs anymore. | ||
| Okay, I don't want to reach for bad food. | ||
| All right, I'm going to reach for someone to love me. | ||
| And it's like, you know, calming down from something all the time. | ||
| Well, the beginning part of love is the most powerful drug you're ever going to take. | ||
| It's like cocaine. | ||
| Yeah, it's dopamine. | ||
| Straight dopamine right to the fucking visage. | ||
| Dr. Amen has a book, Brain and Love, and I've read it a lot because I had a tendency to need someone in my life at all times. | ||
| And I actually now—I really love just factual information so you can go, I'm not a total freak that's got this—I'm not a love addict. | ||
| This is actually what is happening to me on a level of this is uncontrollable. | ||
| You can control how it affects you and what you're—I guess— Kind of learn to control your reaction. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You can control your reaction. | ||
| But when you love someone, the first couple of months, you do feel like you're high on drugs. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It literally is a drug. | ||
| It's the same drip. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's dopamine. | ||
| It's super powerful. | ||
| He writes how it kind of goes from more like cocaine, which is kind of a quick hit and wears off really quickly, so you need a lot of it. | ||
| And then it becomes more like heroin, where it's something that almost soothes you. | ||
| Actually, I called the... | ||
| The love of mine who I was with and we got divorced. | ||
| It was almost like a pacifier. | ||
| Like it was that thing that I just needed, not because we were in love anymore, but because of the comfort and because my brain said, oh, this feels better. | ||
| This is comforting. | ||
| But actually, knowing that I was giving in to an addiction made me feel way worse. | ||
| I had the hangover. | ||
| Next day, okay, we sleep together. | ||
| Next day we wake up. | ||
| I'm totally hungover. | ||
| You know, it felt like a relapse every time I go back. | ||
| Well, people do it to each other, you know, and it's not even anybody's fault. | ||
| It's like you don't even realize that you're a part of this drug cycle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you get involved in that and then you find some new person and you get lit up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Maybe some new person you see at the gym or at the office or wherever you meet people and you're like, you're not going to the office. | ||
| Well, what's funny about this is like, you know, I guess I just realized something about myself is... | ||
| All of a sudden it's like unavoidable, you know, I'm telling you this is not true. | ||
| So this is where I now retract what I've said because I need to work on this a little bit. | ||
| So it's like, okay, it's so untrue for me to see all these bad things. | ||
| They're in my face no matter what, no matter what I want to look at or not. | ||
| I have a really hard time looking at the good things. | ||
| Like when people send me the stats of my song, I don't open it. | ||
| When people send me the charts or the views, I don't open it. | ||
| That's a good sign. | ||
| Because I don't want to get attached to success or numbers or mean that my art... | ||
| Everyone said, literally, I'll show you the text from my manager. | ||
| He said, unless it's a drag queen death dropping to her new single, don't even bother sending it to her because she's not going to open it. | ||
| I think that's good. | ||
| That's a sign of you avoiding narcissism. | ||
| But I wonder why I feel like I can't avoid the bad things and looking at them. | ||
| Like I've got maybe a little addiction of that, of looking at that. | ||
| But then why don't I want the hit of the positivity of like seeing the numbers? | ||
| Because you want to work hard. | ||
| Because you want things to be difficult. | ||
| When you see too much success, you don't want to slack off and get weak. | ||
| I have no idea how many people listen to my song. | ||
| I have the same thing. | ||
| Yeah, I can't. | ||
| I have the same thing. | ||
| I have the same thing with podcasts. | ||
| I have the same thing with comedy specials. | ||
| I don't read any of the reviews. | ||
| I just keep moving. | ||
| That's what I don't do. | ||
| I always do that. | ||
| And everyone's like, you want to hear some stats? | ||
| I'm like, I literally, you can ask them. | ||
| I say, I won't even know what it means. | ||
| Jamie will tell me some stats every now and then. | ||
| And I'll just go, what the fuck? | ||
| I don't want to hear them anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it gets nuts. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what it means. | ||
| Yeah, what does it mean? | ||
| Three million streams. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| In the world of like how many seven billion, it's never good enough for me. | ||
| It doesn't mean. | ||
| I'm like three million, seven billion, I could do better. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, three million is not enough. | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| I think that's a sign that you're looking at things the right way. | ||
| I really do, because I think that's a sign of you. | ||
| You know what you were talking about earlier? | ||
| You want to struggle. | ||
| You want to earn it, you know, because you think that you kind of got these crazy gifts, being famous at a young age and all this wealth and success at a young age. | ||
| You want to earn it. | ||
| So when you see success and the trappings of success are wallowing around in all of your fortune, you don't want to do that. | ||
| You want to hustle. | ||
| You want to keep going. | ||
| I think that's a good sign. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's why, yeah, at some point, you know, you can bring your kids, maybe she can do that weird fucked up thing to my face, whatever. | ||
| You should come and see some of the animals, especially if you're in Nashville. | ||
| I think you'll totally get it. | ||
| I think you'll totally get if you're ever in Tennessee and you come out to the farm and you see the horses and you see the pigs bite my ankles and all these things. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I think you'll get a really good understanding of my life and who I am. | ||
| My last comedy special that I filmed was Strange Times for Netflix. | ||
| And when I warm up for shows, I've done all the work. | ||
| I like to just put my brain in another place. | ||
| And I was listening to Malibu. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| That's not what I thought you were going to say. | ||
| All the people on the set were making fun of me so hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I couldn't imagine. | |
| My friend Anthony Giordano, who also directs the UFC, by the way. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't imagine this. | ||
| He's a good friend of mine. | ||
| He's like, what are you listening to? | ||
| I go, Miley Cyrus. | ||
| And he's like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| I go, look. | ||
| I go, listen to it. | ||
| I put the headsets on him and I had him listen to it. | ||
| But that song is so removed from anything in me or my life. | ||
| And I love your voice. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| So it's a little escape for me. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| So I'd be, like, dancing backstage, high as fuck, getting ready to go on stage, listening to your song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, just swaying back and forth. | ||
| That was the first song... | ||
| Well, no, because I had done Dead Pets. | ||
| Dead Pets was where I started writing, like, my music where, if, you know, you look at the list, it says... | ||
| Because what's funny, okay, so if you look at Stevie Nicks songs, things have changed a lot in credits. | ||
| A lot of it says written by Stevie Nicks, and it doesn't say any other writers. | ||
| But there are other writers because there's music that was written. | ||
| She didn't play every guitar part and every piano part, etc. | ||
| Now it's changed in our credits and the way we do things. | ||
| So actually you have to put written by for anyone that wrote anything musical on the song. | ||
| So any guitar parts, all that shit. | ||
| So if you start looking at some of the Dead Pet stuff, it'll say written by, and it'll say a group of people, but all the lyrics were written by me. | ||
| It's just any of the melodic stuff in the track. | ||
| Is it all stuff that's new for money purposes? | ||
| Yeah, and I think the way that now streaming is kind of making things a little bit more difficult. | ||
| Because you don't pay someone the way that you would record. | ||
| When record sales, they get their money, whatever. | ||
| So it's something to do with that. | ||
| It's very complex. | ||
| And they say that some of the best lawyers don't even understand quite what's going on in the music industry right now because we're having such a change, such a shift in the way that everything's happening. | ||
| From sales of records to streaming. | ||
| Sales of records to streaming to videos to TikToks. | ||
| TikTok is like a freaking label now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| So they pay TikTokers to TikTok to your music because it counts as streams. | ||
| I don't even understand it. | ||
| I don't even understand it, but this is a thing. | ||
| TikTok is weird. | ||
| Do you pay attention to all that shit where the Chinese government owns it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, I know that that's a thing. | ||
| I also know that it was like, you know, this is the new label. | ||
| Basically, labels pay TikTok to be able to have these kids doing it. | ||
| I don't know if I'm supposed to say it, but they fucking do, so then I said it. | ||
| Please, say it. | ||
| It's all I know. | ||
| It's true, so say it. | ||
| So they pay kids to TikTok to certain... | ||
| So say if you're a TikToker, you're like a big time TikToker. | ||
| There's like rich TikTokers that are like... | ||
| Millions. | ||
| I don't know about millions. | ||
| We have maybe a different idea of like Richie Rich, but for kids living in a house here that there's TikTok agencies, yes. | ||
| TikTok agencies. | ||
| Agencies. | ||
| So they're like, Marsha, I see you TikTokin'. | ||
| It's like Black Mirror, I'm telling you. | ||
| It's like some fucked up Black Mirror shit. | ||
| Wow, interesting. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| But the one thing that I told the kids that, you know, these kind of influencers, I've spoken to some of them before by doing some of this press, you know, they want me to play the song for them, whatever. | ||
| And the one thing that I said that I like is like, at least it's kids creating content for themselves. | ||
| Because I used to have to go through all the middlemen before, before I could put out a fucking video. | ||
| I had to ask, hey, Gary Marsh at Disney, is this okay? | ||
| Hey, this person, can I do this? | ||
| But now it's like, shit, grab your phone, put it up, you're in control of your own destiny in a way. | ||
| Right, you could, I mean, if you wanted to, you could set your phone up and just go live on YouTube and play an acoustic set. | ||
| And do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| And I love that about that. | ||
| I love that about today. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And yeah, so kind of to that point was when I was working on Younger Now. | ||
| That was the first record I was going to put out that was for sale because I did SoundCloud with my Flaming Lips record. | ||
| Because I said, people don't want to hear me singing a song called Bang My Box about me having sex at a lesbian strip club. | ||
| Well, then I'm not going to ask them to buy it. | ||
| I'm just going to give it to them as a gift. | ||
| And the worst thing they can do with a gift is throw it away or not open it. | ||
| Well, that's kind of a good thing of being in the position where you're in that you could call the shots. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And it's like, listen, okay, you're not going to make money off of it. | ||
| It's like, okay, that's fine. | ||
| I'm sure they're still selling a toothbrush somewhere that plays my fucking song and I'll get a dollar from that. | ||
| Are there any TikTokers out there to bang my box? | ||
| I don't think anyone's TikTok-ing to bang my box. | ||
| Jamie, can you research that, please? | ||
| Honestly, I think everything on the internet's been done, but I don't think people TikTok to bang my box. | ||
| I would love to see a bunch of RuPaul's Drag Queens TikTok-ing to bang my box. | ||
| I don't think it's happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It should. | |
| Bang my box is very, very niche. | ||
| We could make that happen. | ||
| I feel like we could put that out there into the internet. | ||
| Look, it's not there. | ||
| It would go do work. | ||
| I sort of found... | ||
| Now I'm trying to find a good version to show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm trying to be quick about it. | |
| I'm scared. | ||
| Listen, Jamie can find it if it's out there. | ||
| He has connections. | ||
| To the dark web. | ||
| That's what I was wondering. | ||
| You got that hooked up here into the ground? | ||
| He's the best Googler on the planet. | ||
| There's no one even close. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's a one-handed best Googler, too. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He Googles with one hand while he's working the camera with the other. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| Let me hear a little bit. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| So we got a dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Okay. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Look, this is how shit it is. | ||
| It's got two fucking likes. | ||
| Listen, for now it has two likes. | ||
| Now people know about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Now it'll have more. | ||
| Now it's an influencer. | ||
| I'll retweet that shit later. | ||
| Send that to me and I'll retweet it. | ||
| I want you to bang my box. | ||
| But point being is that that was free, and then getting to write Younger Now and writing Malibu, I wrote that in the back of the car on the way to, going to The Voice, because I was looking outside the window in the car thinking, like, all of it's true. | ||
| Like, I had never really gone to the beach. | ||
| The closest I had ever really gotten was my parents taking me to Florida, like, one time, and my sister got my toe caught in the revolving door, and, like, I had to go to the hospital. | ||
| It was a nightmare, and my parents swore we're never going on vacation again, but most parents say it and don't mean it. | ||
| My parents fucking meant it. | ||
| We never went on vacation again. | ||
| That's crazy that you did all that work and you never went on vacation. | ||
| Well, I went on my own vacations. | ||
| We didn't go on a family vacation. | ||
| That song is so obviously written by you. | ||
| And that was one of the things that I think I liked about it. | ||
| When you listen to someone sing a song, like a really good song, it's an expression of who they are at that point in time in their life. | ||
| And you can get wrapped up in their mind. | ||
| And I felt like... | ||
| That's why I like listening to songs before I go on stage, because it gets me out of my own head, and it gets me into someone else's head. | ||
| And then when it's time to go, and they're like, you're on in three, and then I'll take the headphones off, I'll do a shot, I'll stretch out a little, and then here we go. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Oh, hell yeah. | ||
| That is. | ||
| That's me listening to your fucking song backstage. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| I'm not lying. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Well, it's an honor. | ||
| I played that when Anthony was listening to it. | ||
| He's like, you fucking idiot. | ||
| What are you listening to? | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| I never, ever, ever would have thought that. | ||
| Never would have thought that. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I like your music. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And I like you. | ||
| You're a good person. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You too. | ||
| I enjoyed talking to you. | ||
| I did too. | ||
| I'm glad we did this. | ||
| Agreed. | ||
| So you got something that's out right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| How do people get it? | ||
| Well, it's called Midnight Sky, and even just the title is kind of inspired by Debbie Harry's Heart of Glass, but I pulled inspiration from Edge of Seventeen, two of my favorite songs. | ||
| Heart of Glass, the reason I love it so much is that the title isn't the repetition in the chorus. | ||
| It's just a cool thing to say. | ||
| It's not the chorus at all. | ||
| And so I thought, you know what, my favorite part about it is I love the kind of visual painting of Midnight Sky and what that means. | ||
| And the midnight sky to me is like, if you're really fucking partying, the moon is a disco ball and the stars are all the reflection of light on the ceiling. | ||
| And what I really like about the disco ball is that it's a bunch of broken pieces put back together again, that when you're finally enlightened, it makes this mesmerizing, totally attractive, like people, it's like, you know, it's like the bugs to the light, like people love disco balls, but it's really just a bunch of broken pieces put together. | ||
| And so I felt like that was reflective of me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Pretty deep to think about a disco ball. | ||
| That's heavy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's heavy. | ||
| But when I saw it, I thought, like, I recognize this. | ||
| This is what I feel like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| So that's it. | ||
| Let's end it on that. | ||
| And it's everywhere. | ||
| It's on YouTube, streaming, and... | ||
| Yeah, it's everywhere. | ||
| And I'm naked in it, so hopefully people will watch it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| You're a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You too. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| I like being in here. |
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