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April 14, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:01:02
Joe Rogan Experience #1457 - Tim Dillon
Participants
Main voices
j
joe rogan
01:31:25
t
tim dillon
01:26:08
Appearances
Clips
j
jamie vernon
00:22
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Speaker Time Text
joe rogan
Three, two, one.
Later today, young Tim Dillon will find out whether or not he has the anti-puddies.
tim dillon
Yes, yes.
And if I do, I'm going to Wuhan to do a fun little video in a wet market.
And eat a bath.
If I have the antibodies, it's okay.
Is it safe?
joe rogan
I don't know what this is.
tim dillon
Yeah, no one knows.
We've never been in a time where literally nobody knows.
joe rogan
I have a string of text messages from Alex Jones that will change your opinion if you smoke enough weed.
And you don't smoke weed.
Were you ever a weed smoker?
tim dillon
I smoked a lot of weed.
For a very long time.
That's when I discovered Alex Jones when I was 13, when I was smoking weed, listening to him on the GCN network.
joe rogan
But when you got clean, it wasn't weed that was a problem, right?
tim dillon
No, it was the cocaine and the booze and the pills, but weed was always there.
joe rogan
I've never been a cocaine user.
I've never used it, but I do love that Buck Cherry song.
tim dillon
Oh, yeah, it's great.
joe rogan
It's great.
It almost makes you want to do cocaine.
tim dillon
It's a great drug.
I mean, don't do it if you're having problems.
joe rogan
But Alex left.
I haven't even gotten to them.
I changed my phone number not that long ago, and I change it every few Yeah.
And it doesn't matter.
tim dillon
Do you get random text from just anybody?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, random.
Yeah.
But this, these are all voicemail messages, and look at all these videos he sent me to watch, and all these websites.
He's convinced that it's a weaponized virus that leaked from a lab.
tim dillon
Well, there's a lot of people that are saying that in Wuhan, obviously, they have that lab, right?
Whether it's a biodefense or bioresearch laboratory.
joe rogan
There's something there.
tim dillon
Something's there.
joe rogan
Something in Wuhan where the disease is originated.
tim dillon
Now, this is kind of convincing that maybe there were people backdoor selling the animals that they were experimenting on to wet markets.
Like, if you're broke and you were a guard at the Wuhan lab, you're like, hey, I'm just selling bats and dogs.
For extra money.
And he sold maybe one of the wrong ones, and now we have this issue.
joe rogan
Really?
Where'd you hear that?
tim dillon
I mean, that's on the internet, Joe.
joe rogan
Oh!
Well, as long as it's on the internet.
tim dillon
I mean, it's there.
But now, every theory has as much weight as any other theory.
joe rogan
Right now.
tim dillon
Right now.
joe rogan
Because there's some legit scientists that are actually, like one of the things they found out is that the origins of the virus in New York City, it comes directly from Europe.
Apparently they can tell that.
tim dillon
Interesting.
joe rogan
Somehow.
tim dillon
Yeah, I have no idea.
joe rogan
Find out how they can tell.
tim dillon
Do they trace it back to like patient zero?
joe rogan
No, I don't think so.
tim dillon
Oh, they don't do that?
joe rogan
I don't think so.
tim dillon
They do some sort of tracing, right?
Because that's the new...
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
The hot topic of Google and Apple working together to get tracing software.
joe rogan
See, that's what scares me.
We talked about that the other day.
You have to have everything on your phone, like showing that you're positive.
You have to have a phone everywhere.
tim dillon
You have to take out your card that you're positive to get into Applebee's.
joe rogan
Yeah, Adam Curry sent me this whole thing saying this is why I have a flip phone.
You know Adam Curry, the original podfather?
tim dillon
And he's saying that He won't.
joe rogan
He won't do it.
Yeah, most coronavirus cases in New York City can be traced back to Europe, not Asia, research shows.
What is the research, though?
What does it say?
tim dillon
I mean...
joe rogan
Research tracking spread of coronavirus determined that the virus has been circulating in New York City for a couple months since before the testing began.
Genetic sequencing of virus samples indicates that most of the early cases in New York originated in Europe, not Asia.
So it's some sort of genetic sequencing.
Research team studied samples of the virus taken from 91 New York patients.
As viruses evolve during transmission from person to person, their sequences can help research.
This is what scares the fuck out of me.
Just that statement.
As viruses evolve during transmission.
These fucking things, they morph and twist.
It seems like it's almost like a different thing with different people.
Like, I was reading about George Stephanopoulos and his wife.
He has it, his wife has it.
His wife is deathly ill.
He doesn't feel a goddamn thing.
tim dillon
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
Well, they're also, the media's not helping.
joe rogan
No.
tim dillon
Because there's a lot of, they're circulating these stories that aren't necessarily the truth, or they're not, like, the media will be like, coronavirus lives 13 feet away from you.
And then you read the article, and buried in the article, they go, well, doctors don't really know if these particles are infectious.
So it's like, why do you have an article where the boldface headline is, coronavirus 13 feet away, 19 feet away, and then in the article you go, well, you haven't even determined if you can get sick.
joe rogan
It's very irresponsible, but that's what they do today.
News is strange today, because they're just trying to sell clicks.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They want people to pay attention to their articles, so everything's clickbait.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's fucking real weird, man.
tim dillon
And then the other half of that is the guys who don't believe anything, where they're on Twitter.
A nurse will put something on Twitter.
She's like, you know, it's been a rough day, and she's crying.
And then the first tweet, a guy's like, liar.
It's like, oh my god.
There are people that are like, you're a liar.
I know what's going on.
joe rogan
You're a conflict actor.
tim dillon
Yeah, you're a crisis actor.
Show me the ward.
There's people being demanded to get into ERs.
unidentified
They're like, show me the ER. It's like, God!
joe rogan
Well, then there's TikTok with nurses.
tim dillon
See, here's the deal.
Yeah, that's crazy.
joe rogan
Well, here's the deal.
There are some places where the hospitals are overwhelmed, and there's some places where the hospitals are empty.
You know why?
Yeah.
Because the world's big!
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay?
It's just like grizzly bears.
Right.
You know, if you're like, well, grizzly bears are almost extinct.
Go to fucking Wyoming and get eaten.
If you're in Wyoming and you're camping, you might get eaten.
tim dillon
They're there.
joe rogan
There's a lot of them in Montana.
They're there.
But they're not in New York City.
tim dillon
But even in a hospital that's not busy, some nurse has got to go, let's not do the TikTok dance.
Today.
joe rogan
I don't know.
tim dillon
Some nurse has got to go, hey guys, let's not do the TikTok dance today.
joe rogan
Bullshit.
Cut them a break.
tim dillon
I don't know.
joe rogan
They should be able to do whatever the fuck they want.
tim dillon
I don't know, man.
joe rogan
Even if you're in an empty hospital and you're a nurse, you might deal with a COVID-19 patient.
You might get it.
You might die.
tim dillon
That's tough.
Yeah.
It's very bad.
joe rogan
I say let them dance.
tim dillon
Okay.
I don't know.
joe rogan
How do they get those balloons to puff their asses out?
tim dillon
Well, this is what I mean.
I mean, this is what I mean.
There's probably COVID patients dying while they're doing that, you know?
joe rogan
Maybe not, though.
tim dillon
I don't know.
Who knows?
joe rogan
That's possible, too.
tim dillon
I don't know what to believe.
I don't know.
One day I wake up, I go, this virus is fake.
The next...
The next day I wake up, I go, I'm gonna die today.
So I don't know what to believe.
joe rogan
You know when it gets me?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
In the middle of the night.
tim dillon
In the middle of the night.
joe rogan
Because I'm a moron and I like to drink a lot of water before I go to bed.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like an asshole.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
So I wake up at like 3 o'clock in the morning.
I'll convince myself I don't have to pee.
I'm like, please, just stay in bed.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then I get up and piss like a racehorse.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And while I'm peeing, then I start thinking.
Like, what if it changes?
What if it gets worse?
What if it becomes like the H1N1 flu?
What if it, you know, it becomes as deadly as one of these horrific flus, but transmits the same way that this one?
You know, it's like running all these scenarios.
tim dillon
Well, it's interesting.
It's like, I also think about, and I'm not saying the virus is not...
I mean, I don't know.
People say it could be man-made.
But look at the world before this happened, right?
You had the Yellow Vest protests in France.
You had the Hong Kong protests.
You had a lot of populist movements, a lot of uprisings in first world countries like France.
You saw things happening that you didn't see before.
And after the virus, you know, after this has gotten bad, now that's impossible.
I mean, you can't protest.
You can't do anything now.
You can't leave your house.
joe rogan
Yes.
But I think it's way more likely that what we're dealing with is just a virus.
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
And that this is the consequences of the virus is that things are getting locked down.
What's really bothering me is this idea that once you get control of people, that they're not going to let go.
If they start taking away civil liberties, if they start moving you through checkpoints when you're on travel and you're on your car, you have to wait and they have to scan you or check your temperature.
That stuff, I mean, are they going to let that go once a vaccine gets through?
tim dillon
No.
I mean, it's like 9-11.
All of that is still left in place, right?
All the powers that the federal government gave themselves after 9-11 have only been expanded in the years since.
Obama only expanded Bush-era executive power, and he's been able to do.
And now everybody's concerned now, but it's like the time to be concerned was probably a long time ago.
Because now these things have become so big and so Orwellian.
But yeah, this is going to be a problem.
I think it'll be possible that you won't be able to get into maybe a sporting event or a concert without walking through some type of infrared sensor that detects if you have a fever.
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
Well, they're doing it in China.
In China, they're testing your temperature.
tim dillon
The fever gun.
joe rogan
Yeah, they have a little gun and test your forehead.
tim dillon
And if you have a temperature, they cremate you.
They cremate you and put you in an urn.
So it's a good way to get the virus when it's young.
joe rogan
Did you see the protests that they did have where the people were protesting because they're building a crematorium near them?
No.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, it's dark.
tim dillon
I mean, it's dark, so they don't want a crematorium near them.
joe rogan
Well, it's not that.
They're protesting for a bunch of reasons, but the real concern is that they're killing people that have the disease.
The real concern is that they're lying about the number of people that died from the disease.
Like, only 3,000 people died from the disease.
200,000 had it, but we killed them.
tim dillon
Right.
10 million had it, but they're in an urn.
joe rogan
You got it?
tim dillon
Well, the 21 million cell phone thing was spooky.
joe rogan
Locals protest against cremation of...
No, that's not it.
No, there's a crematorium.
Here, I'll send it to you.
Just give me a second.
tim dillon
China's efficient.
Here's the thing with China.
They're an efficient country.
And they're not emotional.
joe rogan
No.
tim dillon
And they get things done.
joe rogan
Efficient's a weird way of putting it.
tim dillon
Well, I'm putting a positive spin on it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
But I'm sure that, you know, listen, there are negatives to that level of efficiency.
joe rogan
Here, Jamie, I'm sending it to you right now.
tim dillon
Protests break out in China last month over crematorium plans in Maoming.
joe rogan
Yeah, Chinese riot police fire tear gas and beat up protesters at Guangdong Province.
tim dillon
Have you ever been there?
You ever did shows there or anything like that?
joe rogan
No, but I have gone through the airport in Taiwan, which they won't admit.
It's like Taiwan is not a part of China, according to them.
But China thinks Taiwan doesn't exist.
And so the World Health Organization, did you see that whole thing where the guy wouldn't admit that Taiwan was a place?
They were asking him about Taiwan.
He's like, I think China's done a wonderful job.
What about Taiwan?
He's like, Click.
Hang out.
Came back.
Just, well, we'd lost you right before we were talking about Taiwan.
He's like, yes, well, let's move on.
I think China's done a wonderful job.
tim dillon
It's a real country.
joe rogan
They're in the pocket of China, for sure.
But when we were there, what's shocking is they're accustomed to violating people's space.
They just bump into you.
The people?
Yeah, they walk right through you.
tim dillon
Well, there's so many of them, right?
joe rogan
They're used to just walking right through you.
But I saw this old lady walk right through my 10-year-old, just walk right through her on a plane, just boom, knocked her out of the way.
My daughter's like, what the fuck?
tim dillon
Yeah.
She just got fucked up by an elderly Chinese woman.
joe rogan
It was this weird thing.
It's like, okay, if we were in Alabama, I would fucking crack this lady.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
But here we are in China.
tim dillon
It's their culture.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm like, all right.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay.
tim dillon
Yeah, you just got to let it go.
joe rogan
It's just how it goes.
She's not being rude.
This is like a part of what they do.
tim dillon
This is what they do.
joe rogan
They just walk right over people.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's a lot of people.
That's why China's like, we can stand to lose a few.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Well, they definitely have a lower value of people.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, that just makes sense.
If there's a billion people, you care about them less.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I don't know how much.
joe rogan
We don't care about the numbers.
tim dillon
Yeah, we don't care about people here that much, though.
joe rogan
Here?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
You don't think so?
tim dillon
No.
I mean, not that much.
joe rogan
Well, if we didn't care about people, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing.
tim dillon
I know that we do care about people, but we also have a lot of people going out, exposed, working in supermarkets, places like that, and we're not doing anything for them.
joe rogan
Well, they wear masks.
What are we doing for them?
tim dillon
Well, some of them don't have masks.
I mean, I think that those people should get paid holiday pay or extra pay.
joe rogan
Hazard pay.
tim dillon
They should be given the right equipment.
They should probably give them some low-interest-rate loans.
joe rogan
I think this is just a function of the fact that the supermarkets weren't prepared for a pandemic.
I don't think that they don't care.
But they're also...
I think, if you just look at the fact that we shut everything down, well, why did we shut everything down?
We shut everything down to protect old people.
This is the whole idea behind this.
Old people and vulnerable people.
Yeah, I know some young people die, but it's a very low percentage.
tim dillon
Yes, it's mainly old people.
joe rogan
It's mainly old people, and they did a thing on California, how many people died.
We have a very low number of people that have died.
I think it was something like 30 people died yesterday, and that was the high.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's not bad.
joe rogan
No, it's not.
tim dillon
It's far less than people who would have died had we let everyone out of their houses.
joe rogan
Yeah, most of them were like 65 to 80, and a few of them, like a couple, were 40 to 60. Yeah, which that starts to get young.
That gets weird.
tim dillon
It gets weird.
joe rogan
But you gotta go, okay.
tim dillon
High risk category.
joe rogan
What happened?
Were you on some other medication that made you vulnerable?
Were you ill already?
Did you have some sort of a lung disorder?
Were you a smoker?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
A lot of smokers are getting it hard, man.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
I mean, I don't smoke every day, but I'll have a cigarette occasionally, like outside a comedy store.
And now I don't do that at all because I don't want to be, you know, drowning.
You know, they say you feel like you're drowning when you have this.
You feel like you can't get a breath because you're drowning.
I mean, I don't want...
No cigarette is worth that.
joe rogan
Well, that's also how you die.
tim dillon
Well, that's a good point.
Years from now.
But if I do have the antibody test, if I have antibodies, I will just smoke an entire pack of Marlboro Lights tonight.
joe rogan
See, this is what we were talking about earlier.
I don't believe that they know whether or not you can catch this thing twice.
tim dillon
I know.
That's true.
joe rogan
You know, in China, people have tested twice.
tim dillon
Well, that could have been a false positive on either end.
joe rogan
Or it could be that you get it again.
It's true.
Yeah, I don't think they know yet.
tim dillon
That's true.
joe rogan
If this really is some sort of a man-made, concocted virus...
Maybe that makes sense.
Maybe that makes sense that that's why it's acting so weird.
It's different in different people.
tim dillon
They don't understand it.
joe rogan
I mean, or maybe it's just a really particular, peculiar virus.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And that's why it can come back.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They don't know.
They don't know.
But they do know that...
I mean, this is a big NPR article.
People are testing positive again who had been confirmed as negative in Wuhan.
tim dillon
I think, yeah, in China and then Korea, they had a few of those cases.
joe rogan
I trust the Korean ones way more than the Chinese ones.
tim dillon
South Korea, yeah.
South Korea said 14% or something amount of people seem to have tested positive again.
I mean, which is scary because that could be another strain.
joe rogan
Or it could be like herpes.
It stays in your system and pops out again.
Like when your immune system is down.
tim dillon
Or if we've all had it in five years, we're all going to die.
joe rogan
You know, my buddy Justin Ren, he has this non-profit charity organization, Fight for the Forgotten.
They build wells for the pygmies in the Congo.
Yeah, and he got malaria when he was in the Congo, and he got it again.
He's got it three times, but he got it one time when he got sick when he's home.
He got sick at home, and then malaria came back.
Oh, it came back.
tim dillon
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
That's fucked.
joe rogan
That's fucked.
So it was like it was somehow or another dormant in his system, and then when his immune system was shattered by whatever cold or flu he got, The malaria kicked back in again.
tim dillon
Did he take that hydroxychloroquine?
joe rogan
I don't know what he took.
He's taken a bunch of different shit.
And he actually got really sick.
What was that stuff that he said he got sick from, Jamie?
He actually had toxic doses of this one malaria medication.
They've had issues with soldiers and people that are deployed in malaria-infested areas where they take this stuff and they get this toxic...
Reaction to this stuff, and he had taken much more than they were taking.
He had taken a very large dose, and he didn't know that it was really toxic until too late.
tim dillon
Well, yeah, that drug, hydroxychloroquine, is working.
People say that it is.
I've talked to doctors that say it is absolutely helping people, but it's a very serious drug, so you have to be careful with it.
But they say it's like the Lazarus effect.
People are getting up and walking out of hospitals, you know?
Like, it is doing that, the azithromycin.
joe rogan
That's nice to think.
tim dillon
It's good to think.
Whitney has some of it in her house.
joe rogan
Does she?
tim dillon
Of course she does.
Yeah, she's got it all.
She's got a ventilator.
She's killing it.
joe rogan
She has a ventilator?
tim dillon
She's got two ventilators.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm joking.
I don't want to get her in trouble.
No, she's got the hydroxy.
She's got azithromycin.
I mean, she's ready.
She's ready to go.
But that's the thing.
If you've done well and you're successful, you can go out and get all the things.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
You know, that's partially, you know, guys like me are in trouble, but, you know, guys like yourself, you could get a ventilator.
joe rogan
I'll hook you up.
tim dillon
You could have a ventilator immediately, almost, if you wanted a ventilator.
That's great.
joe rogan
I'm much more concerned with strengthening my immune system.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
You know, that's what I'm doing.
tim dillon
Do you think we take too many over-the-counter medications and that kills our immune system?
joe rogan
Well, for some people, they definitely do.
Some people take a lot of antibiotics.
tim dillon
Because my mother growing up would take Sudafed, you take all that stuff.
joe rogan
That stuff's terrible for you.
tim dillon
It's bad for you, yeah.
joe rogan
Well, one of the things is ibuprofen.
Michael Yeo told me that one of his buddies, who's a doctor, when he was feeling really shitty before they diagnosed him with COVID-19, his doctor said, or this doctor, who's a friend of his, said, take, I believe he said, take three Advil, or three to five, I forget what the number was, every, what is it, how many milligrams are they?
100 milligrams?
unidentified
I don't know.
joe rogan
I think he told them, take three every five hours.
And he said he immediately got much worse.
And I've heard this from many people.
Now, I don't know if there's a connection, and I've read that there isn't a connection.
But according to Michael Yeo, that was when it was a tipping point for him, when he started taking ibuprofen.
These non-steroidal anti-inflammatories.
That stuff is terrible for you.
tim dillon
France said not to take it.
France said take acetaminophen.
Take the other...
joe rogan
Veterans say report on anti-malaric drugs.
That's right.
Methloquine downplays side effects.
See, that's the stuff that Justin took.
Yeah, and he took a huge dose of it.
And he got really fucked up from that stuff, too.
So that's what disturbs me, is that things could be a virus that stays somehow or another in your body.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's creepy.
joe rogan
Herpes is a virus, right?
tim dillon
I think so.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You keep that shit for life.
tim dillon
You keep it forever.
HIV you keep forever.
So these are, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Well, HIV, at least your body tests negative.
tim dillon
Are they only testing for the antibodies when we take this test?
joe rogan
Yes.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Well, they can do the test test if you'd like the test test.
tim dillon
They do a swab.
joe rogan
Don't be scared.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Come on, bro.
tim dillon
I think it would be funny if people were getting negative for a corona, but then somebody's like, you do have HIV. That would be hilarious to me.
joe rogan
HIV is not that big a deal anymore.
It's not a big deal.
tim dillon
Yeah.
For me, it would be fine.
The doctor would be like, it's the healthiest thing about you.
HIV. They'd be like, AIDS helps you.
We'd be like, this is great.
joe rogan
AIDS is fighting off the flu.
tim dillon
Have you had the thing done?
joe rogan
AIDS is like, he's mine.
tim dillon
Yeah, right.
joe rogan
Yeah, I had the antibody done.
I don't have anything.
I was hoping I had the antibodies.
tim dillon
I want the antibodies.
joe rogan
I was hoping that I'd caught it.
tim dillon
I want the antibodies.
So then Meghan McCain could go to Wuhan, eat a bat.
Eat a bat.
That would be fun.
Could I fly to China?
Would I be allowed to fly to China if I had the antibodies?
I'm going to Wuhan.
joe rogan
You should do a comedy special as Meghan McCain.
Your whole special as Meghan.
tim dillon
She's already going to have me killed.
So I left her alone.
She had a pregnancy announcement.
I'm like, I'm not going to do a joke about that.
God bless.
Congrats.
She hates me.
joe rogan
Do you think she does?
tim dillon
Yeah, I know somebody who knows her well.
She doesn't like me.
You know, it is what it is.
I get it.
unidentified
It's fine.
joe rogan
But I don't get it.
tim dillon
A lot of the people I've made fun of in that sense don't like me.
joe rogan
Okay, but you're not really her.
I know.
You're doing a character.
tim dillon
It should be funny.
unidentified
That is true.
tim dillon
I agree.
But people are very sensitive.
We live in a very sensitive world.
joe rogan
I guess.
tim dillon
And I did say she wanted to have sex with her dad.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it was funny.
tim dillon
Very funny.
But part of that, I think, disturbed her.
What made her mad is that she told a friend of mine, she goes, I didn't like that he made fun of my weight, which is interesting.
joe rogan
Oh, that's hilarious.
tim dillon
I said she had a baby with her dad.
She didn't care about that.
That's the weight thing.
But you know, a big guy putting a wig on saying, I'm you.
It's not exactly, it's not, you know, pause.
It's not flattering.
That's the word.
It's not flattering.
joe rogan
But comedy rarely is.
tim dillon
But now in a pandemic, the woke shit's got to be over now, right?
joe rogan
It's not.
It's coming back, man.
tim dillon
We're in a pandemic.
joe rogan
I understand, but the liberals have been home with nothing to do for a month, and then they're firing it up again.
tim dillon
They're writing articles like, this is a gendered crisis.
unidentified
Nurses or women, it's like, oh God, enough!
joe rogan
Well, Bill Maher went hard to paint.
He did.
He was right.
He was right.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
He was also not totally right, because he was defending the use of the term Chinese virus.
But really, correctly termed, it would be the Wuhan virus.
tim dillon
Yeah, but everyone knows that it originated in China.
joe rogan
Yes, but if you called it the Wuhan virus, it would be historically accurate.
tim dillon
Right, because racists who were going to do hate crimes wouldn't know if Wuhan was in China.
They would be like, is it somewhere else?
joe rogan
No, that's not what I'm saying.
You're generalizing an entire continent, or an entire country at least, an enormous country.
tim dillon
It's just a subset, a small section of it that had the virus.
joe rogan
Well, it's like the examples he used was like Lyme disease came from Lyme, Connecticut.
tim dillon
But if something came out of Colorado and it was killing everybody in China, would they say in China, would they call it that in China, or would they say the U.S. flu, the American bug?
joe rogan
I don't know.
I've never talked to someone in Chinese.
tim dillon
I mean, it's a way to generalize it.
It's sloppy, but listen, this is the way it's been done for years.
joe rogan
Yeah, but there's a clear reason why...
Look, Trump, first of all, they were in heated trade negotiations with China.
Right.
So he wants to rub it in their face.
China.
tim dillon
China, yeah.
unidentified
China.
tim dillon
And he also wants to take...
A tension away from the fact that we were not prepared, and he knew, and everyone knew, not only him, Nancy Pelosi, all of these people, even Fauci, all of these guys came out and said, this is nothing to worry about.
But Trump is the president.
The buck stops with him.
He could have ordered tests.
He could have been more vigilant, and he didn't do it.
joe rogan
Well, they were all saying not to worry about it.
Everyone.
The World Health Organization in January was saying that it does not transmit from person to person.
tim dillon
Yeah, but if you listen, if you're skeptical of China and you're skeptical of the World Health Organization, as he's very skeptical of China, you gotta...
joe rogan
But the World Health Organization up until then had not been criticized the way it's been criticized now.
tim dillon
Of course, but you still have to, I think, if you're the president, you're in a leadership position, you have to be like, wait a minute, what are we not knowing?
The CIA wrote him a memo saying this could be a big problem.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
I mean, we were watching it happen for two months in another country.
We were watching this happen in China.
And I'm not saying that he could have prevented the pandemic, but like, dude, get the tests.
Give them to New York.
Give them to certain big areas, you know?
Scale up the testing.
joe rogan
So what do you think he did wrong?
He didn't scale up the testing?
tim dillon
No, he didn't scale up the testing.
joe rogan
I don't know if it's him.
First of all, is it him?
Is he the one who does this?
tim dillon
He's the president.
joe rogan
Okay, but stop.
Do you even know?
When you say he should have done this, do you even know what was possible to do?
tim dillon
Yeah, I think he could.
Well, first of all, the Defense Production Act, which I don't think he could have invoked that after this happened to force companies to make certain things.
joe rogan
Right, but there was a lot of people that were thinking that this was just going to be like the flu.
tim dillon
If the President of the United States said, we need more tests for this, absolutely we would have had more tests.
joe rogan
But do you understand they didn't even have a test?
Because it's a novel coronavirus?
It's a new thing.
tim dillon
Yeah, but there were tests in other countries that were being used.
I mean, Germany did this, right?
joe rogan
What did they do?
tim dillon
They had more testing.
They've kept their mortality rates down.
They've kept their mortality rates down.
joe rogan
They think there's a bunch of reasons why Germany kept their mortality rates down.
tim dillon
But here's the other thing.
joe rogan
They follow rules better.
tim dillon
Taiwan did it.
I mean, now they're having second waves.
But up until recently, Taiwan had very few cases just right by China.
But again, a lot of it was testing.
So, I mean, I think the China virus issue helps him deflect from any...
And I mean, listen, you can't go out during a pandemic when nurses are wearing garbage bags and falling down and go, hey, my press conferences are getting the biggest ratings they've ever gotten.
joe rogan
No, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.
tim dillon
I mean, you can't do that.
I mean, that's crazy.
joe rogan
No, that was just crazy.
tim dillon
Crazy.
joe rogan
But that's him.
He's a fucking weird guy, man.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
But he also did shut down travel from China quickly.
tim dillon
That was good.
That was smart.
joe rogan
And people were saying he was a racist.
tim dillon
Well, yeah.
Well, Chuck Schumer should be held to account for that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
Yeah, absolutely.
joe rogan
They really should because that was the correct thing to do.
tim dillon
I don't think he could have prevented this.
I'm just saying there's got to be a better system than the one we have where states are bidding for this equipment.
There's got to be a way.
And that $1,200 stimulus that people are going to get is not helping anybody.
joe rogan
No, that's not enough.
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
But when you say states are bidding, what are you talking about?
tim dillon
I mean states are – I don't think the federal government has the ability or we don't have the ability to get states' equipment.
So states are like bidding for it.
There's something going on where like a lot of states are going outside the system to like secure their – which part of their responsibility is to do.
But it's just – there's got to be a better system going forward.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, they didn't see this coming.
I mean, in terms of needing ventilators.
Like, you go back to November or December.
Nobody thought that three months from now the entire country is going to be shut down and we're going to need ventilators everywhere.
tim dillon
No, of course not.
And some hospitals may not need ventilators.
But you've got to look at a city like New York and you've got to look at what's happening in China and you've got to go, there's a high population density there.
We should probably try to shore up some of those hospitals.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
I mean, otherwise, what the hell does, you know, what's the point?
joe rogan
But isn't it the people who run the hospitals, the administration of the hospitals, isn't their responsibility to make sure that they have PPE in place?
The fact these people are wearing garbage bags, they don't have enough masks.
tim dillon
Well, I don't think any hospital is prepared for a pandemic.
joe rogan
Well, why don't they?
tim dillon
Well, I mean, the hospitals.
I think certain people have to direct them to do that, right?
joe rogan
But when you're talking about just masks, how the fuck don't they have a large supply of masks on hand?
It's not financially prohibitive.
tim dillon
That I don't know.
I mean, that I don't know.
I have no idea.
joe rogan
They know now.
tim dillon
But there's got to be some responsibility.
It might be state government, could be local government, but there's got to be some responsibility.
joe rogan
Somebody fucked up.
tim dillon
Somebody fucked up.
joe rogan
But it's also a new thing.
I mean, we haven't had to deal with something like this before.
tim dillon
Well, we had H1N1. We had swine flu, right?
joe rogan
How'd they stop that?
tim dillon
I don't know, but that didn't seem- You know Burt had that?
Did Burt have it?
joe rogan
Yeah, Burt.
tim dillon
That's hilarious.
joe rogan
Burt almost died, he said.
tim dillon
Really?
Well, that's not funny.
unidentified
Sorry.
joe rogan
Yeah, he said he was sick as he's ever been, in constant pain, said he couldn't sleep.
tim dillon
I don't remember hearing that much about swine flu, about H1N1. He could have just been drunk.
He was probably hammered.
He probably saw something about swine flu as he was passing out, and he's like, that's why I have swine flu.
That's what I have.
joe rogan
I don't know, man.
I mean, all we're doing is just talking.
This is the thing.
It's like everybody's sort of talking around in circles, and we're hoping it gets better.
tim dillon
I tell people I'm a microbiologist now, because nobody knows anything, so I can know as much as anyone else.
joe rogan
And the governor wants to shut down this state for another month.
Today's the 13th, another month and two days, which is kind of crazy.
tim dillon
It's not going to happen.
I don't know if that'll happen.
joe rogan
What do you mean?
He's the governor.
tim dillon
People are going to go out.
You know, my friend called me the other day.
He goes, hey, man, you want to come to an Easter thing?
I'm like, wait, what?
He's like, yeah, it's only like 12 people.
I'm like, I don't think that's...
joe rogan
Coughing on each other.
unidentified
Yeah!
tim dillon
I'm like, you know, and then he sent me pictures of it.
It looked beautiful.
Where was it?
It was in Beverly Hills.
joe rogan
What if three weeks later, half of them are dead?
tim dillon
Well, I mean, hopefully they are, you know, because I didn't go, so I hope they die.
I hope they drop dead.
joe rogan
I hope they made a good decision.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I look now and I want to choose who dies.
I go, I'd like them to go.
joe rogan
Who do you choose?
tim dillon
Just friends of mine that I've had enough of.
joe rogan
Just people I could, you know.
What gets you?
You know what gets me?
Yeah.
When they lie about how well they did on stage?
tim dillon
Well, that's annoying.
unidentified
It's time to go.
tim dillon
That's annoying.
joe rogan
I had a good set.
I watched a little bit of it.
tim dillon
There was a guy in Long Island who used to tell us all the time when we were very young at comedy, he'd sit in the green room and he would give us a speech about how to do stand-up.
And then he'd go on stage and bomb horribly.
And then he'd walk off stage and then look at us and he would go, they were good.
And he would just walk out.
Like he wasn't even there.
Some people aren't even there.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
They don't even know what's happening.
They don't know if the audience is applauding or not.
joe rogan
Well, they put up a shield.
They put up some sort of a psychic shield to protect themselves from reality.
Not good.
tim dillon
A lot of people are doing that.
joe rogan
But isn't that the case?
The guys who give the most advice in the green room before they go on stage are the ones who suck the most.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's always horrible.
And I was in sales.
Nobody who ever made money gave you advice.
They just walked by you like you didn't exist.
unidentified
Everyone who sits down is true.
tim dillon
Everybody who's making money walks by you like you're not real.
When somebody starts bullshitting, like in sales, I used to give people advice.
I would close no deals.
I'd make no money.
I would literally make no money.
joe rogan
What were you selling?
tim dillon
I was selling subprime mortgages.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
tim dillon
Yeah, but it was good for a while.
And then the government got involved and ruined that.
Ruin that.
We were just trying to help people.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
And, you know, we were.
People deserve homes, Joe, whether they have jobs or not.
They deserve to have a pool.
joe rogan
They were giving people homes with no jobs.
tim dillon
Well, that's the other thing.
And then everybody goes back and they're like, the banks robbed all these people.
It's like they were in on it.
Everyone was in on it.
Everybody buying a house, for the most part, knew what they were doing.
They all knew.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
You would have to call somebody.
joe rogan
They knew, but they thought they could pull it off.
tim dillon
You'd have to call somebody and be like, hey, you know your brother owns a Toyota dealership in Queens?
Can he say you work there?
And they go, yeah, of course.
Some guy would just write like, yeah, Sarah works here, she kills it, makes eight grand a month slinging Toyotas on Northern Boulevard.
None of it was true.
And then we'd give her a loan for $400,000.
joe rogan
And she'd buy a house.
tim dillon
Yeah, and she'd buy a house.
joe rogan
And then she'd see those.
And then the thing about the changing of the mortgage payments...
That's what really fucked people up.
tim dillon
Two years you would get...
There was something called the pick a payment option.
I mean, it's great.
So you had four options to pay.
Usually a mortgage, you pay your principal interest, taxes, and insurance.
Here you had four.
One was like you could pay 1%, like a credit card.
You could pay 1%.
You could pay only interest.
That was the second option.
You could pay 30-year regular option.
Or you could pay like a 15-year if you really wanted to pay it off quickly.
Nobody paid the 15 or the 30. Very few people did the interest only.
They did 1%.
So that deferred interest.
So you would pay your mortgage and it would balloon.
It would go up.
Like you would pay 1% and your mortgage would go up every year.
And then eventually you got to a point where then it would just readjust and your mortgage payment would go up like $2,700.
joe rogan
And didn't your mortgage adjust with some of them depending upon the market?
tim dillon
Yeah, so like two years into a loan, two or three years into a loan, I had a house.
I bought a house that was 22. This was not smart.
But when you're drunk and on cocaine, I sold myself a house.
How much?
$700,000.
What?
$650,000.
joe rogan
No, you didn't.
tim dillon
Well, that's a big rule.
You're not supposed to scam yourself.
I scammed myself.
That was, you know, you're on cocaine.
You were 22?
Yeah, I bought a $650,000 house.
unidentified
That is fucking hilarious.
tim dillon
In Long Island.
Yeah.
It was not the best choice.
joe rogan
It was big.
tim dillon
It had an acre lot going back.
It was deep.
I thought they were going to, developers were going to sell like, I would just stand outside mass smoking cigarettes being like, developers are eventually going to buy up my yard.
Like I was, you know, on drugs.
And I thought this was all gonna work out and I had a two-year mortgage and then it ballooned and it went from what it was to like, you know, it went up like- How much are you paying a month?
I think in the beginning, it was $4,400 in the beginning.
That was a good payment.
And then it would like get- Jesus!
Yeah, it was bad.
That's a lot.
It's a lot of money.
unidentified
In the beginning.
tim dillon
It's a lot.
It was a lot of money.
Yeah, but I rented the house.
Yeah, I rented the house out.
What did it balloon to?
joe rogan
What did it balloon to?
tim dillon
It ballooned to like well over six.
So, yeah, it was well over six.
And then that was the first adjustment.
Yeah.
joe rogan
You were 22. Holy shit.
tim dillon
22. And I was working in mortgages, and I thought it was going to work out.
Like, I thought we were all going to be okay.
Because everybody I knew was, you know, 27 years old, and they were making $30,000 a month, and they were driving, like, you know, Porsches.
So I said, this is just going to go on forever.
joe rogan
So after taxes...
tim dillon
And President George W. Bush said we were building an ownership society.
joe rogan
You had to make $100,000 a year just to pay your mortgage after taxes.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
Yeah, it was destined to fail.
When I look back now, it wasn't smart.
joe rogan
Did they take it from you?
tim dillon
I don't know.
I just left one day.
unidentified
What?
tim dillon
I just walked out.
Yeah, just one day I left.
I mean, you can't stay.
Whoever's coming isn't going to be...
joe rogan
So they just repossessed it?
tim dillon
I would imagine they took it, yes.
I mean, it was 10 years ago.
joe rogan
Do you have a credit card today?
tim dillon
I mean, I'm in LA now dressing up as Meghan McCain, so I just got my credit re-established recently.
I just got it re-established, yeah.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
tim dillon
Well, it's not good yet.
It's got to get built.
unidentified
They give you like seven years.
tim dillon
I just write you as a cosigner on everything.
I just write Joe Rogan.
No, but it's seven years before it fell off the credit report.
joe rogan
I had a buddy of mine who knew that he was going to go bankrupt.
This was in the 90s, like early 2000s.
So he decided what he was going to do was get a bunch of credit cards and run them up.
Good for him.
tim dillon
That's the American dream.
joe rogan
So what he did was just go to strip clubs and go crazy with his credit cards for months and months and months and never paid anything.
tim dillon
Yeah, smart.
joe rogan
They knew what he was going to do and then went bankrupt.
tim dillon
Listen, smart.
Trump's done it a bunch.
Bankruptcy is the move.
I didn't go bankrupt.
joe rogan
Did he go bankrupt?
tim dillon
His businesses went bankrupt.
He filed chapter whatever it is.
joe rogan
Yeah, chapter 11. But I mean, it's smart.
tim dillon
A lot of people do it.
It's the way to live.
joe rogan
You know what's interesting?
You can never do that with student loans.
tim dillon
Well, student loans, because they think that whatever money you make in your life is the direct result of the money they gave you to get that degree.
This is what's interesting.
Even if you're not doing anything that has anything to do with that degree, they're like, listen, fucker, we gave you that money so you could be a vet tech.
So you owe us.
You wouldn't be doing your shitty job if not for Sally Mae.
joe rogan
I don't think they even think about it that way.
You don't think so?
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
They just fuck you.
They just take you when you're a kid, when your fucking frontal lobe isn't fully formed, and they force a loan onto you because you don't want to be a loser.
tim dillon
I don't feel bad for any of those kids.
I don't feel bad for any of them.
joe rogan
None?
tim dillon
Because they could have sold subprime mortgages.
You know, fuck them.
Listen, I went to a community college and dropped out.
I don't feel bad for anybody who takes $200,000 out and gets a degree in gender studies.
It's, you know, fuck them.
Whatever.
Pay it.
Or don't pay it.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Gender studies, I hear you.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
But the thing is, like, the reason why they're doing it in the first place is because they don't want to be a loser, and then they get strapped down with this insane amount of debt...
tim dillon
That's true.
joe rogan
...that turns them into a loser.
tim dillon
Well, a lot of them aren't losers.
A lot of them are just paying back something and it's annoying, right?
joe rogan
Dude, there's people that are getting their social security docked.
tim dillon
Yeah, and there's people I've heard of selling blood to pay it back.
It is bad, but I don't think the majority of them are in that position.
joe rogan
But here's the thing.
If you buy other things and you go bankrupt, you don't have to pay it back.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
But you have to pay back your student loans no matter what.
tim dillon
So my advice to those people is to pay the student loans and then fuck everything else.
joe rogan
Or don't get a student loan.
tim dillon
Or don't get a student loan.
joe rogan
Just the fact that it operates under a different rule, and it's the one thing that seems not mandatory, but really, really, really enforced.
I mean, it's a thing that's, like, encouraged to the extreme.
Go to college, get a degree.
tim dillon
Well, don't you think that's changing?
Don't you think people are going to start to realize that, like, college in and of itself without a very specific goal is probably...
And the reason that the student loans are this expensive is because the government backs them, right?
So that's the whole reason they're expensive.
Because the government guarantees them.
It's the same reason that a lot of healthcare is expensive.
It's like companies know a percentage of it is going to be paid by the government.
It's guaranteed.
So I think you just got to kind of decouple The government from a lot of these schools, and then schools are like, okay, we can't charge $40,000 a year because no one will pay it.
joe rogan
Well, what I'm hoping is that it's going to be like...
My kids right now are in virtual school.
tim dillon
Interesting.
joe rogan
They're home, and they're sitting in front of the computer, and the teacher gives them examples, and they talk about things.
The teacher can see them in little windows.
tim dillon
Is it like Zoom?
It's Zoom.
Everything's on Zoom.
Our whole life is on Zoom.
joe rogan
The teacher can click on each individual person, see them full screen, and ask them about stuff.
The kids can talk about it.
It's real weird, man, because here's the thing.
If you're paying whatever the fuck you're paying for, say, if you're going to Yale, what does that cost a year?
tim dillon
70 grand, 60 grand, something very expensive.
joe rogan
A lot of these courses are available right now online.
tim dillon
So you could just take a Yale course.
joe rogan
Well, I know MIT has.
Didn't Lex Friedman talk about that?
That the courses are all available online for free.
tim dillon
Interesting.
joe rogan
So you can go there in person, but that seems so retro.
Why do you have to go to a physical place?
I guess there's a good social...
tim dillon
People can't watch their kids, right?
That's the big problem.
It's really childcare.
If you look at what schools are, it's a way to get your kid out of your hair for 8 or 10 hours a day because most people have to go to work.
They can't afford to pay somebody to watch their kids.
joe rogan
What do you mean?
You mean school for little kids?
tim dillon
Yeah, for little kids.
Or even in high school.
joe rogan
Well, there's a little bit of that, but there's a lot that they learn.
tim dillon
Some people need structured environments.
joe rogan
There's a lot they learn socially.
Yes, that's true, too.
It's very important for them.
It's not just structured environment.
It's also experiencing being around people and learning how to interact with them.
The weirdest motherfuckers I've ever been around were homeschooled.
tim dillon
Yeah, homeschooling is interesting.
joe rogan
Dude, I know a guy who's homeschooled, and he's so fucking awkward, and he's in his 30s.
He's just so...
He doesn't know how to hang.
unidentified
He can't hang.
joe rogan
He never learned how to hang.
No one's ever fucked with him.
He doesn't know how to deal with people jabbing him and just fucking around with him.
He's like, ooh!
tim dillon
He doesn't...
He doesn't get it.
Is he mentally ill?
joe rogan
No, he's a smart guy in terms of, like, he can rattle off facts.
tim dillon
Why did his parents homeschool him?
joe rogan
Religion.
tim dillon
That's part of it, yeah.
joe rogan
It's a lot of it, man.
tim dillon
Like, deep, deep, real Christian stuff?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
Anti-vax, too.
A lot of weird shit.
unidentified
Anti-vax.
joe rogan
The whole deal.
You're going to take apple cider vinegar, and it's going to cure everything.
tim dillon
Are we going to trust Bill and Melinda Gates, you know?
joe rogan
What, the vaccines?
tim dillon
I mean, they're going all over the third world, sticking a needle in anything.
I mean, those two are...
unidentified
What are you talking about?
tim dillon
They are.
They are.
It's a fact.
They're trying to help people if it works.
joe rogan
Pause.
Pause.
What do you think would be their motive?
First of all, Bill Gates literally has $90 billion.
He's trying to do good things with his money and trying to use his money for philanthropy.
But hold on.
The idea that all these fucking crackpot conspiracy theories have that Bill Gates is the Antichrist because he wants to get people inoculated with vaccines and viruses, that he's somehow or another trying to control people.
Bill Gates has everything.
He doesn't need anything more.
unidentified
I agree.
joe rogan
He's not trying to get anything more.
He's making no attempts to control markets, no attempts to get to like a thousand billion dollars.
unidentified
100%.
joe rogan
He's not doing that.
He's using his foundation to try to help people get healthy, help people get internet, help people get running water.
tim dillon
But they have, I mean, listen, they've done things in the third world, like they've introduced certain vaccines and stuff that have had adverse health consequences for people.
Like what?
I mean, you can look it up, but this has literally happened.
I mean, they've been involved with things where it hasn't gone well.
joe rogan
But when you say something like that, if you don't want to get sued by the richest man in the world, and you're going to, he's coming after you right now.
tim dillon
I will gladly get in a high-profile legal battle with Bill Gates right now.
About?
Vaccines.
joe rogan
What do you think about vaccines?
tim dillon
No, I think they're fine for the most part.
But if he wants to sue me because it's something I said on a podcast, let's go.
It could only help my career.
joe rogan
What do you say he did?
No, it can't.
tim dillon
Listen, I don't research these companies, but I know for a fact that he's been involved in vaccine things that did not go well.
joe rogan
Where'd you read this?
tim dillon
I read it.
joe rogan
PrisonPlanet.com?
tim dillon
No, no, I read it.
This is a fact.
This is a reality.
You can't just...
Listen, people have issues with vaccines.
joe rogan
When you're saying it's a fact, you have to be able to reference what you...
But if you don't, you don't really have enough information to say it's a fact.
tim dillon
Well, it's something that's been reported and it's been credibly reported.
joe rogan
By who?
tim dillon
See what I'm saying?
No, it's been credibly reported.
joe rogan
Gates Foundation accused of dangerously skewing aid priorities by promoting corporate globalization.
tim dillon
Look at the people in the back of that photo.
They don't look happy.
joe rogan
What does that mean?
They don't look happy.
That's not what we're asking.
We're talking about adverse reactions to vaccines.
But let me see that article title again.
What a bizarre title.
Look at this.
Accused of dangerously skewing aid priorities by promoting corporate globalization.
What does that mean?
Why are there so many quotes around everything?
tim dillon
Everything's in one umbrella, right?
Like his company, his health initiatives, all of these things work together and that you have to trust that everybody's motives are pure.
I don't think he's trying to depopulate the world, but these people stand to make lots and lots of money if people adopt certain vaccines, right?
Or certain things that are maybe medically advantageous, maybe not, maybe necessary, maybe not.
Okay, pause, pause.
joe rogan
There's definitely an issue when money's involved with any sort of treatment.
And this is one of the issues that a lot of the conspiracy theorists bring up when it comes to ventilators.
That a hospital gets X amount if someone gets brought into intensive care, and then they get Y amount if they're put on a ventilator.
So they're saying, well, there's a motivation to put people on ventilators.
Perhaps.
I would hope never, but there have been cases of people doing surgery on people that didn't need it.
There have been cases of people doing things to people and treatments on people where it wasn't necessary to provide something.
They wanted to make money, and they do things to people just to make money, not to make them better.
That has happened.
tim dillon
I think there was something in India, if you look at Bill Gates, India, but I think...
joe rogan
The vaccines.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I mean, listen, there is something...
I'm not making this up.
joe rogan
I understand.
But do you understand what I'm saying?
That you're saying something as a fact and you have literally no data.
tim dillon
I have the data.
I just can't recall the exact name of it.
That doesn't mean it didn't happen.
joe rogan
But you don't know if it happened.
tim dillon
If you can't even recall the data...
Well, I didn't even go and investigate it in India.
Here we go.
Controversial vaccine.
Why is Bill and Bill Gates present?
Thank you.
joe rogan
Under fire from critics in India.
Well, let's read it.
Funded two entities that have played a key role in immunization program and are both under fire for conflict of interest.
Okay, it doesn't mean adverse reactions to vaccines.
2009, several schools for tribal children.
Jesus Christ, how weird is that?
Say those names.
The Kamam district in Telangana Then a part of undivided Andhra Pradesh became sites for observational studies for a cervical cancer vaccine that was administered to thousands of girls.
Oh, so it's an HPV disease.
That's a dangerous vaccine.
tim dillon
Oh, these girls are whores.
Okay, forget it.
joe rogan
Sorry.
No, the vaccine is dangerous.
That HPV, people have had adverse reaction to that.
Like a high number.
The girls were administered the human papillomavirus vaccine in three rounds that year under the supervision of state health department officials.
The vaccine used was Gardasil, manufactured by Merck.
tim dillon
Months later, many girls started falling ill, and by 2010, five of them died.
joe rogan
I get it.
That's a controversial vaccine, period.
It's good, but it's one of those ones where there's a high number of adverse reactions.
Estimated 14,000 children studying schools meant for tribal children were also vaccinated with another brand of HPV vaccine, Cervarix.
I like when they're on the nose like that.
Oh, is it cervical cancer?
Yeah, we'll call it Cervarix.
tim dillon
Cervarix.
joe rogan
Manufactured by GSK. Earlier in the week, the Associated Press reported that scores of teenage girls were hospitalized in a small town In northern Colombia with symptoms that parents suspected could be adverse reaction to Gardasil.
So some people died from this vaccine.
But is it Google HPV vaccine dangerous reactions?
Because I've read that there's a certain percentage, whether it's, you know, one-tenth or one-percent or whatever it is that some people get.
tim dillon
When anyone stands to make billions of dollars and institute something that's going to be very widely accepted as now necessary for life, You know, you have to ask questions about it.
joe rogan
According to HPV vaccine manufacturers, the most common adverse reactions to Gardasil include pain, swelling, redness, stinging, bruising, bleeding at the injection site, and headache, fever, nausea, diarrhea, abdominal pain.
And it keeps going.
tim dillon
It's not that bad.
I'm not saying that he's doing something inherently wrong, but you have to watch people like that.
The fact that nobody knows.
This is not a well-known thing.
joe rogan
I understand, but the idea that this is how he wants to make his money by vaccinating people, there's a reason why he's doing that to make money.
tim dillon
Who tell us what is and isn't necessary and how things are going to be, right?
joe rogan
That's true.
tim dillon
Whether they're in tech, whether they're in health, whatever they are, these are billionaires.
Generally, they give these TED Talks and stuff like that.
People don't pay attention to what they're doing.
They influence the political system in ways that we know about and don't know about.
And you've got to watch these people.
I don't know Bill Gates.
Okay, hold on.
joe rogan
Now we're talking about a totally different thing, and I agree with you.
See, the thing is before 2000, let's say 2000, no one had any inkling whatsoever that social media was going to have an impact on political realms, on the way, you know, just language What sort of discourse was allowed?
What wasn't allowed?
No one ever thought that, that this was going to be an impact.
And that these companies would literally earn billions of dollars by selling your data, meaning what are you interested in?
What are you clicking on?
What are you going to?
And that's what they're getting their money from.
This is a great podcast.
That Sam Harris put out.
I wish I could remember the guest.
But he was talking about how we didn't know that our data, in terms of our search history, the stuff that we go to, where we travel to with Google Maps, we didn't know that that data was a commodity.
And so we signed off on one of the most valuable commodities in the world.
tim dillon
It's bigger than oil right now.
joe rogan
It's gigantic.
And these companies, not only do they gather out this commodity, but then they use their influence to influence social aspects of our culture.
The way we communicate, what's allowed, what's not allowed.
And that's squirrely.
Because these people, a lot of them are socially inept.
tim dillon
I mean, all the stuff you were talking about at the beginning, when they're going to come to you and they're going to say, you need a card, you need this, you need that, the free flow of travel, how you're allowed to travel around the country and the world, a lot of these people, whether it's Gates or whoever, are going to have a huge input in those laws that are made.
joe rogan
And they're going to think they're doing it for a good reason.
tim dillon
Of course.
Everybody does everything because they think they're doing it for a good reason.
joe rogan
Not necessarily.
tim dillon
Well, a lot of people do.
joe rogan
Some people do.
tim dillon
I bought my house because I believed it was going to work.
I bought it because I believed in home ownership.
The point is that I just think you have to look into this.
It's not my job to have every fact before I speak.
It's not my job.
joe rogan
When you talk about Bill Gates and vaccines and things along those lines, you probably should...
tim dillon
If Bill Gates wants to tweet at me and educate me later, at Tim J. Bill, we can do that.
joe rogan
The real fear is that they're practicing with these vaccines on poor people.
That's what people are terrified of.
tim dillon
That's what they're doing.
They call the school a tribal girls' school.
joe rogan
I know, tribal.
tim dillon
Tribal girls' school.
What kind of...
joe rogan
I mean, it's crazy.
Native Americans.
tim dillon
I mean, Bill Gates wouldn't be doing that in Bel Air or Beverly Hills.
joe rogan
He should.
tim dillon
You know, I agree.
joe rogan
Just grab kids.
tim dillon
Start grabbing those TikTokers and fucking putting needles in their face.
joe rogan
Grab those little Beverly Hills kids at some private schools.
tim dillon
I walk around there every day in those little pieces of shit.
Give me a fucking look because they know I shouldn't be there, but it's close to my house where I have to walk.
We have to walk and get air and just see other people.
joe rogan
Beverly Hills is so weird because anybody could just drive through it.
tim dillon
I know.
joe rogan
It's not blocked off.
tim dillon
I know, but I like that because New York's like that.
joe rogan
But you'll drive by these houses that are worth $30 million.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Look at that.
tim dillon
It's right there.
joe rogan
It's $30 million.
tim dillon
I know.
joe rogan
I could throw a rock.
tim dillon
Yeah, but you know what it is?
Gated communities ruin the fun for people like me that want to just appreciate other people's wealth.
joe rogan
You say that until you get rich.
tim dillon
Why can't?
I know.
joe rogan
Once you get rich, you'll be living right next door to me.
You're going to come over and ask for sugar.
tim dillon
If I'm allowed.
If they'll allow me, by the way.
Why would they?
You might have to vouch for me with the condo board.
unidentified
I'll call.
I'll talk to the people.
tim dillon
I'm not the condo board.
Whatever, the people.
joe rogan
I'll talk to the people.
But here's the deal.
tim dillon
I want to go out and get...
When I was a little kid, we would smoke pot.
We'd drive around these big areas.
We'd get inspired.
And we'd look at big houses and mansions.
We'd get inspired.
joe rogan
How'd that work out for you?
tim dillon
None of us succeeded.
unidentified
The point is, it's nice to see...
tim dillon
It's nice to see Christmas lights on a big mansion.
You shouldn't be stopped at a gate.
joe rogan
Well, what if you're a fucking psychopath?
tim dillon
Well, that's a problem.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
That's a problem.
joe rogan
I don't want to have to wait in the front of my house with a gun all night.
unidentified
But you're famous.
tim dillon
It's different.
Rich people, no one's coming to kill regular rich people.
joe rogan
Do you hear what happened with Sebastian's cousin, who has the exact same name as him?
tim dillon
Listen, I don't want to say...
joe rogan
Do you know what happened?
tim dillon
Yeah, but is that- I talked to Sebastian about it.
Is it totally random?
joe rogan
Some guy- That's so weird, dude.
Two guys came to his house.
They rang the doorbell with masks on, like fucking COVID masks.
tim dillon
Okay.
joe rogan
He opened the door up- Smart.
And they rushed the house, but his cousin knows how to fight.
So his cousin beat the fuck out of one of them.
I'll send you the Zoom doorbell video footage of it.
Beats the fuck out of one of them in the front of the house, goes inside and kills the other guy.
tim dillon
Crazy, dude.
joe rogan
The guy had a gun.
Was it a big house?
tim dillon
It's a nice house.
joe rogan
They had duct tape, they had tasers, they had all kinds of shit.
They were planning on home invading and killing some people.
tim dillon
Jesus Christ.
unidentified
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Just random in the middle of the day, by the way.
tim dillon
Well, yeah, you gotta have guns and locks.
joe rogan
He answered the doorbell because he thought it was his gardener coming back.
Because the gardener was there, and then the doorbell rang, and he assumed it was his gardener coming back.
Right.
And the guy has the same name as Sebastian.
tim dillon
Yeah, but then we'll put gates everywhere.
Then everyone's going to have a gate.
I mean, that's an example.
joe rogan
Well, I'm just saying that sometimes people's houses get broken into.
And this is one thing that you have to think about, really think about, with this economy going into the fucking toilet.
tim dillon
It's going to be bad.
joe rogan
It's going to be bad.
tim dillon
30%.
They said 60 million people filed unemployment claims.
It's going to get rough.
joe rogan
Well, also the businesses haven't even shut down yet.
The businesses that can't get out of this haven't even realized they can't get out of this yet.
Some of them have, but I think a large percentage of them are still trying to keep it together.
We don't know.
So when they go under, all the people that were working for them go under.
tim dillon
It's going to be very bad.
I have an apartment on the first floor with a sliding glass door.
I want people to come in and kill me.
I want people to kill me.
Why?
No, I'm kidding.
I want them to just come in and do a podcast.
joe rogan
He's going to stick HIV vaccine right in your ass.
tim dillon
Listen, buddy, I have a concern for the tribal girls in India.
I apologize.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm sorry.
I haven't forgotten the tribal women in India who no one speaks for except me.
Guwahaba.
And the thing...
These are good girls!
And yes, they're whores, and yes, they have HPV, right?
joe rogan
Well, they're just keeping them from getting it from dirty people like you.
tim dillon
I support tribal whores.
The point is this.
I'm as worried about getting robbed as anyone, because desperate criminals will rob me.
Good criminals will rob you, or try.
Desperate people will rob me.
joe rogan
Well, people are going to rob because they need money.
We're in a weird place.
Look, if you're in Brazil, Brazil's a good example.
You have a lot of haves and a lot of have-nots.
And when you go there, one of the things you see is barbed wire around people's houses and long, tall fences and walls and then a barbed wire on top of it.
And then above that, in the favelas, you see houses with no windows and dirt floors.
It's crazy.
And they come down from the favelas, rob the rich people and go back up.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
And when the economy crashes, the crime rises radically.
So Brazil was doing really well for a while, and then went to shit.
And so they're in a bad place now, and the crime has really ridden to the point- I should get a gun.
Oh yeah, for sure.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
But my jiu-jitsu instructor won't even go- He's from Rio.
He won't even go back to Rio.
tim dillon
Really?
joe rogan
He's like, it's too dangerous.
tim dillon
It's too dangerous.
joe rogan
It's dangerous, my friend.
tim dillon
Yeah, they'll kidnap- If they know you're American or live here, they might kidnap you, try to get money.
joe rogan
Well, when I used to do- The UFC down there.
It was fine.
It hadn't gotten that bad yet.
Look, Brazil's great.
There's a lot of great things in Brazil.
The food there is fantastic.
You ever had Brazilian barbecue?
tim dillon
It's amazing.
The Brazilian steak houses and all that?
joe rogan
It's great.
Amazing.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, it's in the fucking views.
It's like, there's so many good things.
tim dillon
Do you think we're sliding into that?
Do you think there's a chance America's sliding into one of those countries where, is this economic collapse going to be too much?
Do you think, you know?
joe rogan
I don't know.
tim dillon
Yeah, no one knows.
joe rogan
This is what's interesting about this in a bad way.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like, Who knows, man?
Who knows?
You know, it's all weird.
It's all weird because we're in uncharted territory.
We've never, in the history of this country, had a month where everybody was locked down and stayed inside.
There were some lockdowns apparently in 1918 during the Spanish flu, but that was, you know, it's hard to know what the difference was between then and, you know, when they were locked down, whether they wore masks, you know.
I'd have to go back and...
I know at least for the last hundred years, there's been nothing like this.
So we don't really know what the fuck we're talking about.
tim dillon
We also don't know what's going to happen when they fling open the barn doors and say quarantine's over.
joe rogan
Sure, look what's happening in China.
In China, people are catching it again.
I mean, they're having second waves.
Yeah.
unidentified
Wow.
tim dillon
I mean, I don't know.
I mean, I tend to think that people, you know, they did a study in Ohio.
Ohio didn't have, and I have the facts, Ohio didn't have, Ohio, you could look it up.
They didn't officially close restaurants until the 25th, but for the 10 days prior to that, 10 to 15 days prior, foot traffic had dropped 50%.
So people didn't need an order or a law saying not to go out.
joe rogan
They were scared.
tim dillon
They were scared.
joe rogan
I went out on the 14th.
I went on the 14th.
I ate at this restaurant in Venice, Felix, my favorite restaurant.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it was still pretty crowded.
tim dillon
It was fine.
joe rogan
Me and my wife were like this, like, oh, is this okay?
tim dillon
I'm trying to think.
One of the last places I was in was a comedy store on that Monday night, and I did an OR spot, and I was making fun of the virus.
I was making fun of it.
I said that like, I was like, oh, there was an Asian lady on my plane.
She coughed and we all beat the shit out of her and everyone was laughing.
And it was fun.
joe rogan
Sounds racist.
tim dillon
Well, it was.
And it was funny.
And those are often, they dovetail.
joe rogan
They dovetail.
tim dillon
They dovetail.
That's what it is, you know?
Isms are funny, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
And then I got off stage and the Asians loved it.
They were laughing.
We all laughed because nobody thought this was going to happen.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Also, no one thought you really beat the fuck out of anybody.
It was obviously joking around.
unidentified
No, of course.
tim dillon
That's what comedy is.
People in the room know that.
If somebody had written about it, they would have been like, this is inappropriate.
joe rogan
Well, that following Friday, I was supposed to do a show in the main room.
No, not Friday, Thursday.
And they called me up and said, we are going to shut down the main room.
I was supposed to do two shows.
We're going to shut down the main room and cancel your shows.
And we're only going to open the OR because the governor has asked that groups of more than 200 people should be banned.
tim dillon
Such a weird arbitrary number, but they were just trying to do anything they could do.
joe rogan
Think about this.
When you talk about how Trump should have known better, this was our own governor who's very conservative now about this.
Not conservative, obviously liberal, but conservative about the moves that we make.
And this was in the beginning of March, in the middle of March, in fact.
They were still saying groups of 200 people in March.
So this is all fucking touch and go.
I don't think it's helping anybody, all this fucking pointing the finger and blaming this person and blaming that person.
tim dillon
No, but you do have to look at a system and go, we weren't prepared.
We could have been better prepared, right?
Trump did get rid of a pandemic team, which I get it.
If I had been president, I probably would have gotten rid of them too.
Doctors suck.
Scientists suck.
So Trump was like, get him out of here.
He did get rid of that team.
joe rogan
Was that his call?
tim dillon
Well, it's his government.
When you're the president, you have to take...
joe rogan
Hold on.
Did he do that?
tim dillon
I'm sure he signed off on it.
joe rogan
I'm hearing that there was something where they did shut down the pandemic office, but I don't know the facts.
But I do know that they reopened this.
They had a virus hunting organization that literally their job is to hunt viruses, to find out where viruses are coming from.
And they just funded the shit out of them.
tim dillon
I mean, that sounds like a fun reality show.
Virus hunters.
joe rogan
We're dealing with one version of this.
This could get worse.
This could be a new one next year.
There could be another one the year afterwards.
tim dillon
It could just be our new reality.
Just pandemic after pandemic.
Whenever civil unrest is happening in the streets, they just go, here's a new pandemic.
Bat flu number two.
joe rogan
The problem is when you get large groups of people, right, you're going to have large groups of people that need food.
And then you have factory farming.
So factory farming is the cause of a lot of these pandemics.
And then this fucking wet market is real similar in that regard.
tim dillon
This has been a big...
joe rogan
Diseases jump.
tim dillon
The vegans are kind of...
This is a decent time, right, to make that point?
joe rogan
Except for their immune systems.
unidentified
Right.
tim dillon
They're making that vegan point.
joe rogan
They're fighting.
No, who's got the best point is the regenerative farming people.
tim dillon
Okay.
joe rogan
The Joel Salatin people that have figured out a way not only to sequester carbon, but actually they're taking carbon out of the air.
And reintroducing all these ancient farming methods where they're moving cows around at different plots.
Are the wet markets factory farming, though?
tim dillon
That seems pretty independent.
joe rogan
No, it's not factory farming, but it's animals in confinement and surrounded by other animals living in these unnatural environments.
That's what it is.
Wet markers are foul.
tim dillon
Can you avoid that when you've got to feed a population like that?
joe rogan
Well, Osterholm, yeah, you can feed them bugs.
Osterholm had a whole...
He was the guy that scared the fuck out of everybody when he came on my podcast.
tim dillon
Terrified me.
joe rogan
He has a whole section in this book that he wrote from three years ago, from 2017, about wet markets and how the next pandemic is going to come out of a wet market.
tim dillon
So we've got to try to persuade China to shut them down.
joe rogan
They're not going to.
You know what they did say?
They're taking dogs off the livestock listing.
unidentified
Like, yay!
joe rogan
You guys are doing good.
tim dillon
What about bats?
Get the bats out of there!
joe rogan
But, I mean, it's almost like they're throwing people a bone.
Like, hey, we're gonna...
tim dillon
No dogs.
joe rogan
We're gonna stop considering dogs livestock.
Like, oh, you guys are amazing.
tim dillon
But also, they're not.
They're definitely not.
joe rogan
Well, neither, you know.
But they eat them.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
We eat pigs.
tim dillon
I don't judge them because they need to eat, right?
So if I was really hungry and I had to eat a dog, I would eat a dog.
I mean, these are just things that we would have to do.
It's easy for me to say, but it's a lot more normal to eat a dog than to do what they do in Manhattan, which is put them in strollers and pretend they're children.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
That's a little freakier to me than a wet market is seeing like two 30-year-olds walking down the block with a fucking chihuahua in a bassinet.
joe rogan
Have you seen that?
tim dillon
Yeah, of course.
All over New York, dude.
unidentified
Really?
tim dillon
Yeah, people have like, I'm a cat mom.
joe rogan
They put chihuahuas in strollers?
tim dillon
I'm a dog mom.
joe rogan
Oh, that dog mom stuff is so sad.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's crazy.
And then they put the dogs, they dress them up, they put them in strollers, and they stroll them down the street.
That is more grotesque than a well-run wet market.
joe rogan
When I see that in someone's Instagram handle, dog mom, I'm like, ugh.
tim dillon
It's bad.
Those are female incels.
Those are that.
My friend told me that.
This kid that opened for me, Dan Carney, he said those are female incels.
They are the people...
They're the other side of the dudes where they just sit at home every night and get drunk and they're like, I'm a grandma!
I'm such a grandma!
But they're...
Yeah, and they're the worst at comedy shows because they're always offended.
They're always white.
They're always white women offended.
They want to be part of the show.
joe rogan
They're always liberal.
tim dillon
And then after they heckle you all night, they come out and they tell you how great you are.
They're like, you're good.
You're okay.
It's disgusting.
Yeah, it's bad.
unidentified
Boy.
tim dillon
There were some of them, I remember, I think Eliza was going to be at the store, and a lot of her fans were there, and then she didn't show up, so then I came out.
So it was like a real culture shock, because they were expecting Eliza, and then I walked out, and you could see a lot of, because the first three rows were all hot white chicks, and then they looked at me like, what the fuck?
joe rogan
Where did Eliza go?
tim dillon
What is this?
She had something else to do, something better to do, maybe.
joe rogan
Something better, huh?
tim dillon
Yeah, so then they just called me in.
I just hopped out of an Uber, and then there was a lot of disappointed Instagram models there.
They were not happy.
I came out and started yelling about the Clintons killing people.
They were like, this is not the show we wanted.
We did not want this.
joe rogan
Oh, and in the middle of all this, there's a new fucking...
The lady who said that Biden did something to her now, she's saying it was sexual assault?
tim dillon
Yeah.
Well, if they're smart, they're going to swap Biden out for Cuomo.
Cuomo is kind of a meatball, but he's a better candidate than Biden.
joe rogan
But this shows the hypocrisy of liberals that they're not coming after him the way they came after everybody else.
They want him to be the representative of the Democratic Party.
tim dillon
But here's the thing.
They are right now.
They were wrong before.
Here's why they're right now and they were wrong before.
Anybody could come at anybody with an allegation.
Anybody could come at any high profile.
When you say believe all women, you have to live by that.
joe rogan
You've got to believe Amber Heard, too.
tim dillon
You've got to believe everybody.
You've got to believe everybody.
joe rogan
Have you seen all this Johnny Depp shit?
tim dillon
I saw a little bit of it, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
There's audio tapes where she's talking about hitting him.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then there's a new video where it shows his severed finger.
She threw a fucking vodka bottle at him and sliced the tip of his finger off.
Literally, there's pictures of the finger and there's the audio recordings of the doctor looking for the fingertip.
They're looking for the tip.
They can't find the tip.
They're like, where's the fucking fingertip?
Oh my god, look at the blood.
And you can hear them talking.
And she's like violently sobbing in the background.
So they decide to give her three times whatever antipsychotic medicine that she's on.
So she's on this dose.
They decide to jack it up to 3x whatever the dose is.
But meanwhile, this was the lady that had him metooed and was saying that he beat her and had a mark on her face, believe all women.
tim dillon
Well, that's the whole thing.
So the Democrats are now reaping what they've sown in the sense that anybody can approach the press with an unsubstantiated allegation about somebody who's high profile.
I mean, I understand that women aren't just willy-nilly lying about stuff, but the picture changes when there's somebody who's a politically divisive, high-profile figure.
Where there is a huge incentive to knock that person off, right?
There's a huge incentive, whether it's Brett Kavanaugh, whether it's Joe Biden, there's a huge incentive to derail that person.
So I think in that instance, because I do believe that most women are not just making things up.
That being said, when you introduce politics, there's a whole other level.
There's a whole other layer.
joe rogan
Well, for sure.
tim dillon
I mean, foreign intelligence agencies could be doing this too.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You know?
That could.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not saying this woman who actually worked for Biden's campaign was a foreign intelligence agent.
tim dillon
We have no idea.
joe rogan
But what I'm saying is that, for sure, men have sexually assaulted women.
Also, for sure, women have lied about being sexually assaulted.
Those two things, they're not mutually exclusive.
They go hand in hand.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
People are liars.
People lie about the past.
100%.
People also are delusional.
People are also psychotic and schizophrenic.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
All sorts of things are going on.
But when you say believe all women, that is a crazy thing to say.
That's like saying believe all people.
tim dillon
Correct.
joe rogan
It's the same thing.
tim dillon
Can't do it.
joe rogan
So what are you doing?
You believe the liars too?
Do you believe murderers?
Do you believe people that are trying to get out of jail?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Do you believe rapists?
You can't believe all people, right?
You also can't believe all men.
Well, you also can't believe all women.
That's crazy talk.
Do you believe Casey Anthony?
No, of course I do.
tim dillon
No, I'm kidding.
She's the one that I make an exception for.
Some people are humans.
She seems like a good kid.
joe rogan
Humans are individuals and some people are fucking crazy.
tim dillon
Yeah, I mean, so he's...
I don't know, man, but I think the bigger problem with him is he's in some stage of...
joe rogan
Dementia.
tim dillon
Dementia.
joe rogan
100%.
tim dillon
He's unwell.
joe rogan
There's something wrong.
tim dillon
He's unwell.
joe rogan
Either that or he's a folder.
Either that or he may be just as bad.
He folds under pressure.
He's getting close to the finish line.
He's just bumbling all his words and choking and forgetting what he's talking about.
tim dillon
I don't think it's that.
I think something's wrong.
Because you know why?
It seems like it's degenerative.
It seems like it's gotten worse.
It's getting worse.
So that's why I think something's wrong.
joe rogan
100%.
Also, he's old as fuck.
Also, he looks bad.
He doesn't look like a healthy guy.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I was looking at this weird Lady Gaga thing today with him and Lady Gaga, where he's talking about how no one should ever put their hand on a woman.
And I'm watching this because I guess Lady Gaga was sexually assaulted, but who the fuck is ever going to watch that and say, you know what, I was going to put my hand on a woman, but now I'm not going to.
Go back to that thing?
tim dillon
She looks like Hillary.
jamie vernon
I clicked on a story about it.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
tim dillon
She has a Hillary haircut.
That's an interesting move.
joe rogan
Is that a Hillary haircut?
tim dillon
Yeah, look at it.
joe rogan
Let me see it again.
unidentified
It's actually old.
tim dillon
Is it?
unidentified
Yeah, it's from 2017. Oh.
tim dillon
It kind of looks a little...
joe rogan
Oh, it's just coming out now?
unidentified
I guess.
joe rogan
People are throwing it around now.
tim dillon
And what were they saying?
joe rogan
I don't know.
Nonsense.
Here's the thing.
They were saying no one should ever put their hand on a woman.
Of course they shouldn't.
Of course.
But if you're thinking about hitting a woman and Joe Biden is what keeps you from doing it, like what?
I don't understand the logic.
I guess maybe if you're a woman who's being abused, it could perhaps encourage you to go to the authorities.
Right.
Perhaps.
Right.
But I would imagine by him saying no man should ever put his hands on a woman, who Who the fuck thinks they should?
Who's like, no, I disagree.
I think men should just beat the fuck out of women and keep them in line.
Who's saying that?
tim dillon
Somebody said once, it's like when somebody goes, hey, I'm pro-family, it's like, that's a controversial position, you know?
I'm pro-family.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But all these public service announcements, all that kind of shit, it's like, okay, who are you doing that for?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, who's out there going, I was about to rape, but then I saw Joe Biden, and he's like, don't rape.
I'm like, he's got a point.
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah, he's got...
Joe Biden, I just respect him.
He's a statesman.
unidentified
What does that do?
joe rogan
What does it do?
tim dillon
Well, it's just that's part of why nobody believes anything and nobody trusts anybody, right?
That's part of why these guys that are online, they go hard in the paint with conspiracies because these are buffoons.
Like, the people that we have...
Ruling us have been exposed as like creations, right?
These people, everything they say is scripted.
All of them are in the pocket of big business interests.
And these people have been exposed.
So now we don't believe anything.
We don't believe the media.
The media said the Covington kids were harassing this Native American guy.
It turns out it was completely wrong.
It's completely the other way around.
So you don't believe the media, and you don't believe the politicians.
So it's like, it gives you no one to believe.
joe rogan
How much does Covington kids get?
tim dillon
They got a lot, right?
Or no?
I don't know.
joe rogan
We don't know.
tim dillon
I don't know.
I didn't look at the legal transcripts.
joe rogan
I want to get one of them kids on.
tim dillon
Yeah, well you gotta get the main one.
The kid who smiled.
You gotta get the smile.
joe rogan
You can't get that.
That kid should get a Medal of Honor for his composure.
tim dillon
Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong.
joe rogan
This fucking guy walks into his face and starts beating a drum.
tim dillon
Dude, we would have...
joe rogan
It was from a child's face.
tim dillon
Oh my god, that guy.
I would have sold that guy a house, that Native American.
I would have...
He'd be living in a townhouse right now.
But yeah, I mean, but again, so that's an example of the media clearly lying.
Not even being wrong.
No.
Manufacturing news.
joe rogan
Well, they definitely distorted the facts.
tim dillon
Well, they manufactured it.
joe rogan
How so?
tim dillon
Well, it was not what they said it was, right?
joe rogan
Well, we had an image.
The image was a smiling kid with a MAGA hat with a Native American guy in his face.
tim dillon
And from there, they extrapolated something that didn't happen.
joe rogan
We assumed, because of that image, that the kid got in the face of the Native American man.
tim dillon
Well, it's their job to do some investigation and do reporting, do their due diligence.
They didn't do any of that.
So then they created this thing out of thin air where the kid approached the Native guy and they were all chanting.
They were doing a school chant.
They weren't chanting, fuck the Native Americans.
They were doing a school chant.
And the media went in there and just blew it out of proportion.
joe rogan
Well, apparently also in Washington, D.C., around that area, you could buy MAGA hats everywhere.
So it's like they have these stands set up.
Yeah!
They're kids!
tim dillon
They don't know what they're doing.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's like if you're going somewhere and fill in the blank.
In any area, like Mardi Gras, they have beads everywhere, right?
Well, this area, they have MAGA hats.
It's just people selling shit.
So they went over and they bought these hats because they're dorks.
Meanwhile, you and I would have probably done the same thing if we were 16. I would have absolutely done the same thing.
Yeah, if we thought it was controversial to wear a MAGA hat, we probably wouldn't wear a MAGA hat.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Especially if you're 16. You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
tim dillon
Well, they also, listen, they're allowed to support the president.
They're from Kentucky.
They go to some Christian school.
It's probably wacky, but they went for some pro-life march.
joe rogan
That's what it was, right?
tim dillon
It was a pro-life march, and they show up to this thing, and it's just an indication, because sometimes I'll be on Twitter and I'll get really frustrated because people are like, this virus is fake, and how do you believe CNN? And I'm like, okay, guys, listen, the thing's not fake.
But then the reality is they've seen so many instances of the media either embellishing or manufacturing, it's hard to get mad at people that are suspicious.
It's hard to get mad.
When the Jeffrey Epstein story goes away and no one cares anymore that the biggest political scandal of our lifetime goes away, when no one cares about any of that anymore, people get very cynical about all the information that's out there.
And I go to war conspiracy people all the time because they're like, no, this is...
But the reality is I can't fault them for believing in this stuff because there's so much out there.
You know, we're in the no-man's land of logic.
joe rogan
Well, it's also when people have these preconceived notions that they're clinging to despite the evidence, you know, like whether it's either the Seth Rich murder, like, there's nothing to see here, nothing to see here.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
No, it's not like a guy was working for the DNC and a guy who gave information, according to WikiLeaks, gave information to WikiLeaks and was shot and killed.
They didn't touch his wallet or his credit cards.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or his cell phone.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I mean, nothing to see here.
tim dillon
Well, it's just when you dismiss all conspiracies, it's the same thing as believing all conspiracies.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
When you dismiss ones that are like, hmm, well, you know, and anybody, see, it got to the Jeffrey Epstein one where everybody was like, everybody was like, wait, what?
Yeah.
That was one.
tim dillon
Slowed people down.
joe rogan
I mean, the fucking physical evidence, the Michael Baden report where he said this is not consistent with someone hanging.
This is consistent with someone getting strangled from the back.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's why with the QAnon stuff with Eddie or Sam or any of those people, some of it is probably true.
There are a lot of very powerful pedophiles doing horrible things.
But then from there, they've extrapolated it to go into this whole story, which I don't know.
It doesn't seem like it's true.
There's no evidence.
joe rogan
Well, I don't know the QAnon story, but I know that every time someone starts talking about it, my eyes glaze over and I move away.
tim dillon
Well, because it's like religion.
You've got to trust.
They all say trust the plan.
So they say that there's these secret people within the intelligence community that are giving us information.
And then with that information, we've got to piece together what's really going on.
joe rogan
But it's all about these child pornography or child pedophilia rings.
tim dillon
It's all about these things, which do...
Listen, they 100% exist.
The problem is these people believe that Trump is fighting them in a shadow intelligence war.
I don't know if that's the case.
joe rogan
Right.
tim dillon
I don't know if that's the case, guys.
joe rogan
It doesn't seem to be the case.
tim dillon
It would be sweet if it was.
joe rogan
How does he have the time?
tim dillon
If you're right...
I'm sorry.
joe rogan
How does he have the time to shut down the borders, get the ventilators, get them at the masks?
tim dillon
Well, that's what they believe.
They believe the virus was a cover to go arrest all the pedophiles and that they were freeing kids that were kept in tunnels.
I don't know why billionaires need to keep kids in tunnels, but again, you've got to take them at their word.
joe rogan
Oh my God, I need to spark a joint.
I can't hear you anymore.
tim dillon
You know?
joe rogan
You're hurting my head.
tim dillon
All I did was come on the show trying to advocate for girls in India and protect them from- Tribal.
Protect tribal girls from the Bill Gates needle.
And I'm attacked.
And Joe comes, where are your facts?
How offensive is that?
Where are my facts?
How insane is it that I need to know my facts before I make a statement on a show that's being watched by millions of people?
joe rogan
Yeah, especially with the QAnon stuff.
tim dillon
It's 2020. The world's over.
I'm going to say what I feel is right.
I'm going to say what I want to say.
It doesn't matter anymore.
joe rogan
Give me a prediction.
2021, mid-2021, August of 2021. Trump's winning again.
tim dillon
That doesn't even count.
joe rogan
You know, a friend of mine sent me this, and it's really kind of an interesting theory.
He said, if you look at whenever there's an incumbent that's running for re-election, the Democrats always throw someone lame against them.
tim dillon
Interesting.
Makes you think it's a uniparty.
Makes you think it's not real.
joe rogan
Well, it's also that they don't want to waste anybody.
Think about Buttigieg and Klobuchar.
They've got real potential.
Especially with a couple of years of seasoning, right?
tim dillon
Sure.
joe rogan
If Buttigieg can, you know, he was the mayor, he abandoned that position because it wasn't worthy of him.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
And then he moved on.
tim dillon
Right.
Well, the CIA told him it was time to run for president.
Whatever.
joe rogan
Is that what happened?
tim dillon
Yeah, absolutely.
How do you know that?
One of his mentors is a guy named Doug something.
And Pete Buttigieg was in the military, but he barely did anything.
He's always posing with his rifle.
It's strange.
And again, he's just, listen.
joe rogan
Do you think he's really gay?
tim dillon
Yes.
Probably.
unidentified
Maybe not.
tim dillon
He's in the CIA. He seems gay, though.
But he also seems like he's in the CIA. You have to ask yourself, when the biggest companies in the world and the biggest billionaires start lining up behind the mayor of a small Indiana town, something's going on.
Same thing when it was the governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton.
Something's going on.
joe rogan
I have a friend who is pretty deep in that world who deeply distrusts that guy.
tim dillon
Of course!
joe rogan
He's like, I do not trust a word out of that guy's mouth.
tim dillon
You know what somebody said to me once?
You're going to love this quote.
He said, the dangerous people aren't the guys that were born rich.
He goes, they are dangerous because the most dangerous people are the guys like Buttigieg who will do anything.
They come from outside, and he goes, they're just, it's raw ambition.
They'll do anything to get where they're going.
Those people are more terrifying than the Kennedys or Bushes who were born, you know?
And those families are murderers.
joe rogan
And that's where Epstein used to come along.
Come on, the Lolita Express.
tim dillon
Come on in.
joe rogan
You're going to get in with all the Thai people.
Jeffrey Epstein Associate Ghassan Maxwell sues his estate.
tim dillon
And good for her, because she lost income.
joe rogan
Seeking to recoup legal fees to defend herself against Epstein-related allegations.
Oh, Jesus.
tim dillon
Yeah.
jamie vernon
So she didn't know anything about her.
joe rogan
Of course not.
How could she know anything?
She was with her 24-7.
tim dillon
She was taking advantage.
And I believe her.
Believe all women.
I believe her.
I believe Ghislaine.
She's a woman.
joe rogan
Where is she?
tim dillon
She's probably in Israel.
joe rogan
Oh, a complaint filed to Superior Court of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Oh, that's where she is.
She's in the Virgin Islands.
tim dillon
She's being taken care of by the Mossad.
joe rogan
You think so?
tim dillon
Yeah, it was a Mossad op.
joe rogan
Supposedly, right?
Yeah.
tim dillon
I mean, I don't have an exact on that, but I trust my sources.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
You have sources?
joe rogan
I have sources.
Well, I told you some stuff about that old thing.
tim dillon
Of course.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
tim dillon
It's crazy.
Is Dana White going to buy that island and do fights on it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Fights are going to be on Fuck Island, and they're all going to take place after midnight.
tim dillon
The way into it in front of that temple?
joe rogan
Yeah.
We're going to hang a goat by its ankles and slice its neck.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Soon we're going to have to eat it in this country.
joe rogan
We're going to have to eat goats.
It's going to symbolize the start of the proceedings of the goat.
tim dillon
It's crazy, man, but I think we're in this weird dystopian future where you don't know what to believe.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, we're definitely there.
We're definitely there.
And that's going to usher in mind control by virtue of software that allows you to read each other's thoughts.
Wow.
There's only one way to tell for sure.
We all take the implant, put it on the side of our head.
Can't go outside.
Where's your implant?
tim dillon
Yeah, they're going to put biochips under your skin.
They're going to do all that.
joe rogan
Cool headbands.
You know?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Cool headbands that you wear.
They're stylish.
tim dillon
But it's also like, at a certain point, maybe that's just what we have to do.
Because you know what?
What else are we doing in this country?
Going to buffets and, you know, eating fried chicken and selling each other hand grenades and taking cruises.
Think of phones.
joe rogan
Think of phones, right?
I mean, how often do you see people walking around and they just have this thing in their hand everywhere they go?
And we just think of it as no big deal now.
tim dillon
It's going to be in your head soon.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But go back 25 years ago, that was not the case.
You didn't see people walking around with phones.
Right.
They didn't walk everywhere with a phone in their hand.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
But now it's a normal part of life.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
A normal part of life will be you're going to wear this thing.
It's going to be on the side of your head.
And if you're lying, it'll be red.
tim dillon
That's creepy because I love to lie.
joe rogan
What do you lie about mostly?
tim dillon
I mean everything.
Hi, how are you?
Good to see you.
It's so funny.
So funny.
So funny.
So good.
It's so good.
Yeah.
So good.
We all lie.
You gotta lie.
joe rogan
A little bit.
tim dillon
If you're not lying, you're wasting.
If I'm not lying, it means I don't care.
joe rogan
Or you're wasting a lot of time.
tim dillon
I didn't show up to Dr. Drew once.
I totally forgot.
I went to the beach like an idiot, right?
I was at the Trump golf course at Palos Verdes.
I get an email from the booker of your mom's house and they said, are you finding parking okay?
I panicked.
I didn't know what to do.
joe rogan
Did you forget totally?
tim dillon
Totally forgot.
Totally forgot.
They didn't send a reminder, which they don't have to.
I'm an adult.
Totally forgot.
It was in the Trump.
So I said, okay, well, Trump.
So I said, listen, my mother is sick.
She's on her deathbed.
joe rogan
I have to fly.
Do you know about this lie?
tim dillon
Yeah.
I've told it.
I've talked about it on a cigarette show.
But I said, my mother's on her deathbed.
I have to fly to New York.
I'm so sorry.
Ten minutes later, I realized there's a picture of me on Instagram at the beach in Manhattan Beach.
But why did I lie?
Because I cared.
I was embarrassed that I didn't go.
So the lie was because I cared.
If I didn't lie, if I just emailed them and went, oh, sorry, fuck.
Sorry, dude.
Forgot.
That would mean I didn't care.
The lie is because you care.
joe rogan
It doesn't mean you're a comic and you forget about things.
tim dillon
I know, but sometimes you've got to lie to show people you care about them.
unidentified
Hmm.
joe rogan
Interesting.
tim dillon
That's a good way to think about it.
joe rogan
Interesting perspective.
tim dillon
That's a pretty good way to think about it.
That's the way the government thinks.
They're like, we lie about you to prove that we care.
joe rogan
Really?
tim dillon
Yeah.
Guaranteed.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
They go, people can't know this.
They cannot handle the truth.
joe rogan
Like what?
tim dillon
Anything.
joe rogan
Aliens?
tim dillon
All of it.
joe rogan
Have you read that book, Chaos, about the Manson family in the CIA? I've read some of it.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
It's Fitzsimmons' buddy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
It's very interesting.
joe rogan
He's coming on on Thursday.
tim dillon
It's going to be interesting.
Well, all of that stuff in the CIA, what was going on in Laurel Canyon is crazy.
There was this guy who wrote a book, Dave McGowan, and he wrote a book called Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon, and it's all about this weird overlap between this burgeoning music scene and a lot of intelligence things, LSD, Timothy Leary, all these things that were happening in the Haight-Ashbury and Laurel Canyon.
Where they were, you know, running operations, experimenting with these mind control drugs on all these different people and like cozying up to weird cults and it was very strange.
joe rogan
That's what the book's about.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm in chapter eight now.
tim dillon
It's really wild.
joe rogan
It keeps getting crazier and crazier.
Once they get deeper and deeper into the CIA mind control ops and what they were actually doing and what they were allowing, they were literally letting people free.
They were telling people at one of the murder trials to never bring up Charles Manson.
The prosecuting judge was being told to ignore evidence about Manson.
Don't bring up Manson.
The prosecuting attorney, don't bring up Manson.
They were being told to not bring up Manson.
tim dillon
Because the CIA was studying human behavior and In order to do that, they had to get in bed with some very, you know, nefarious characters.
joe rogan
Well, not just studying behavior.
They were trying to get rid of the hippies.
They were trying to disband the hippies, and they were trying to use people like the Manson family to attack people that were in black rights movements and civil rights movements.
They're trying to destabilize a lot of the anti-war movements.
tim dillon
Opposition groups.
joe rogan
Crazy shit.
tim dillon
But they were also trying to create a Manchurian candidate, see if they could wipe somebody's mind clean and control them.
A lot of those mind control experiments went back to Operation Paperclip, where you had scientists that were in Germany doing these really harrowing experiments on people.
We brought them all to America after this, and they continued a lot of those experiments here.
joe rogan
Yeah, we've talked about Operation Paperclip.
Too much.
tim dillon
And so the whole thing is like, did it ever stop?
That's the interesting question.
joe rogan
Yeah, of course.
tim dillon
Did it ever stop or is it still going on right now?
joe rogan
Why would it stop?
tim dillon
Well, of course, why would it stop?
joe rogan
I mean, when you go to Operation Northwoods and you find out that the Joint Chiefs of Staff had already signed a document saying that they're down with blowing up a jet airliner and blaming it on Cuba.
tim dillon
Yeah, blowing up a boat.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Using Cuban friendlies, arming them to attack Guantanamo Bay.
tim dillon
It's crazy.
joe rogan
They're like, if we could do this in 1960s, if they were doing that in the early 1960s, everything evolves, right?
Everything evolves.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, why wouldn't that evolve?
tim dillon
It's interesting.
And you wonder what are, you know, are some of the, are these, are apps You know, the new mind control.
Like, do they look at an app and see the way people are behaving?
joe rogan
Well, that's why the government's telling you to get off of TikTok.
And then Google won't allow people to have TikTok on their phones.
tim dillon
It's a Chinese, yeah.
joe rogan
There's other things.
Zoom.
Google's saying don't have Zoom on your computer if you work at Google.
tim dillon
Interesting.
Well, because Zoom collects, I think, a lot of data from your phone or something like that.
Like, it collects everything.
I don't understand.
joe rogan
Well, they've compromised.
There's certain security problems with the application.
The president of the company that created it said they fucked up.
The CEO said they fucked up.
That there's been some fuck-ups.
I just don't think that they expected this many people to start using it that quickly.
And I think as it scaled up because of the pandemic, everybody was like, what the fuck?
tim dillon
I didn't use it.
They were going to do a call, an Easter call, and they were going to put 20 people on it.
My family and my little cousin's like, do you want to come on this?
I'm like, dude, let's stop.
And then he told me it was hard.
It's 20 people.
We got elderly people on there who don't know what's going on.
They're just being told to look into a phone.
They have no idea what's happening.
There's 20 people.
Half of them are drunk in their home.
They haven't seen the outside in a month, and they're all screaming over each other.
It's like, yeah, this isn't a good use of anyone's time.
joe rogan
No.
And also, they're doing these comedy things.
Did you see the one with Christ, with Burt and Sandler?
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
It's probably the worst thing I've ever seen.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's when Burt said he called it...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw that.
joe rogan
He had no idea what Sandler's done.
He didn't even know Sandler apparently was a comedian.
He thought Sandler was like a fucking doctor.
What did he call Happy Madison or something like that?
tim dillon
Yeah, and then he said, I'm going to watch not Uncut Gems, he said, Precious Gems or something.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Precious Gems.
He didn't know Uncut Gems.
And also he asked him, if you were to film one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
And he's like, am I on like morning TV in Dallas?
tim dillon
I almost wondered if Burt was trolling.
I thought Burt was doing that on purpose.
Because it was brilliant.
Bert does certain things where I go, I think he might be a genius.
Because he does certain things where I'm like, did he do that to just get that level of no?
joe rogan
Trust me.
Trust me.
That's just Bert when he's not drunk.
Bert's not drunk.
He doesn't even know what reality is.
Why does his air feel so weird?
He's like, why is the sky blue?
He doesn't know what the fuck life is.
tim dillon
But he's very smart in terms of like savvy marketing.
He is good.
joe rogan
Well, he's relentless.
tim dillon
He's relentless, yeah.
I mean, he knows a lot about that stuff.
joe rogan
Yeah, he knows a lot about being relentless.
tim dillon
Yeah, sometimes I'll see something he does and I'm like, that's smart.
joe rogan
Well, he makes good little video promos for specials and tours and stuff like that.
He's good at that.
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He's good at self-promotion.
tim dillon
It's very true.
So I didn't know if that was real.
I didn't know if he was really asking Adam Sandler if he had Netflix.
I said, that seems odd to ask someone if they have Netflix.
joe rogan
When he's made movies for Netflix, you fucking dummy.
tim dillon
So I'm like, is he doing that as a bit?
I'm like, oh, good job!
joe rogan
No, he doesn't know what he's doing.
And he's making noises with his mouth and then trying to, like, figure out what they are in real time.
That's what it is.
tim dillon
I mean, yeah.
joe rogan
Bird should never be not drunk.
tim dillon
Right.
Wait a minute, you're flipping on this.
joe rogan
He should never be sober.
He should be drunk all the time.
tim dillon
Okay, interesting.
joe rogan
He should just be drunk.
tim dillon
He's better at it.
He's amazing when he's drunk.
joe rogan
If he's talking publicly.
But actually, when we did a podcast the other day, he wasn't drunk for the beginning, and then we started drinking.
And then we started smoking a little weed.
And it's like, let's come on.
tim dillon
Let's just, here you go, yeah.
joe rogan
And he said that he had been sober the entire quarantine, except for that one day.
tim dillon
Is he worried about Corona?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, he should be.
He's on high blood pressure medication.
I mean, a lot of us are.
tim dillon
I'm a bigger guy.
I don't know if that's going to be a problem.
Joey's a bigger guy.
I don't know how much that matters, but it can't be good.
joe rogan
It can't be good.
It definitely matters.
It matters for your immune system.
Are you taking any CBD? Do you take CBD at all?
tim dillon
No, but if I could take CBD that wouldn't get me high, because I'm sober, so I know that CBD is nuts.
Yeah, but you know a lot of it has a percentage of...
joe rogan
Yeah, CBDMD has CBD that doesn't...
tim dillon
Is that good for the immune system?
joe rogan
Yes.
This actually won't...
Try this.
This is a...
tim dillon
What is it?
joe rogan
Kill Cliff with 25 milligrams of CBD. Not a lot.
Is it coffee that I don't really drink?
tim dillon
I don't do caffeine.
joe rogan
No, no, there's no caffeine in that.
What is it?
No, it's just delicious.
tim dillon
I'll take it with me.
Just drink it.
joe rogan
I'll be drinking it the whole show.
tim dillon
What is the best thing you could do for your immune system if you don't want?
joe rogan
Vitamin C. Vitamin C. Take a lot of vitamin C, but particularly...
tim dillon
Can I eat an orange or I have to take it?
joe rogan
Yeah, you can eat an orange, sure.
I like taking it, though, because it ensures that you're going to get a specific amount.
tim dillon
Of it.
joe rogan
I take 4,000 IUs of vitamin D every day as well.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
I think that's really good for your immune system.
tim dillon
I should start a regimen of vitamins.
joe rogan
Yeah, I take liposomal glutathione every day.
I take a packet of vitamins every day.
tim dillon
When you took the test, were you like, hey, you had wanted the antibodies?
Or you were just like, I don't want any corona.
joe rogan
I would like to know that I had it and it bounced right off my immune system.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So the thing is, I asked him, I go, okay, does this mean I was not exposed to it?
He goes, no.
He goes, it's possible that you were exposed to it, but your immune system fought it off before it ever got to your bloodstream.
What this antibody test means is that it was in your bloodstream and your body fought it off.
tim dillon
Interesting.
joe rogan
So it never got into my bloodstream, but he said it does not mean you weren't in contact with it.
tim dillon
Because when I came back, I came back from Vancouver, and I was sick, and then they diagnosed it as strep, but they also said that's a common co-infection.
joe rogan
When was this?
What time?
tim dillon
Early March, March 3rd.
joe rogan
Oh, you might have had it.
tim dillon
I think I had it.
I think I had it, and I beat it.
joe rogan
Really?
tim dillon
I think I had it and I beat it.
joe rogan
Ooh, we're gonna find out.
tim dillon
If I find out, and of course I didn't, and they're gonna tell me no.
They're gonna say you don't have it.
But if I have those antibodies, I mean, it's just gonna be buck wild.
There's a guy- I'm just gonna get on a plane and go to New York.
joe rogan
Did I send you the video?
The guy on Thunderfoot?
That guy from YouTube?
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's a...
I think he's a chemist and he's worked at CERN. Really, really intelligent, interesting guy, but he's making these YouTube videos on COVID-19 and how really, how dangerous it actually is.
And his estimates are that if we opened up everything, you could get death rates as high as 300,000 a day.
tim dillon
Yeah, which is...
joe rogan
I was like, what?
tim dillon
Yeah, it's crazy.
That would collapse the system, right?
I mean, we could...
joe rogan
What do you got, Jamie?
They announced the council to reopen America.
Ivanka Trump's on the council?
tim dillon
I feel comfortable.
joe rogan
Yo!
tim dillon
I feel comfortable.
unidentified
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
joe rogan
Gerald Kushner's on the council?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Come on.
tim dillon
These are his kids.
joe rogan
How is that not disgusting?
tim dillon
Well, this is part of the problem with his administration.
Even his conservative fans don't like this.
joe rogan
Well, there's seven people, and two of them are in his family.
tim dillon
Like, even Ann Coulter has said, listen, this is not what anyone signed up for, giving your kids jobs.
joe rogan
That is so crazy that he's taking this girl who's like 30 years old and her goofy husband, and those are part of the seven people.
tim dillon
By the way, are any of these guys health people?
They're all financial people, right?
Do any of these people have anything to do with health?
joe rogan
I don't know.
Who's Larry?
Larry.
tim dillon
Larry Kudlow's an economic advisor.
He was like a big cokehead in the 80s.
joe rogan
What about...
tim dillon
He was awesome.
Was he?
I mean, he's fun.
Yeah, but I don't think he knows...
joe rogan
Was he a cokehead?
tim dillon
Yeah, there's things in a book about him doing coke.
Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone.
Anyway, moving on.
joe rogan
And Wilbur?
What about Wilbur?
tim dillon
Wilbur Ross is the Commerce Secretary, right?
I mean, I don't know.
He looks like he is a demon who's eating children.
unidentified
A fish?
tim dillon
I mean, look at his face and you tell me he's not eating a child in the woods.
joe rogan
Maybe he has, right?
He's like the outsider.
tim dillon
Mark Meadows looks like he's being blackmailed currently.
Yeah, it's a fun group.
joe rogan
Yeah, what do they blackmail Mark for?
tim dillon
I don't know.
joe rogan
If you had a guess.
In a fictitious world, and this is just for fun.
tim dillon
Women tie him up and shit on him.
joe rogan
Shit in his mouth or?
tim dillon
On his chest.
They tie him up in the bedroom.
joe rogan
They take video.
tim dillon
Yeah, they probably hit him.
joe rogan
And he tells them to take video of him.
unidentified
Yeah, yes.
joe rogan
And then he calls him up and goes, I can't believe you have that video.
tim dillon
Maybe a little Fidom, too.
They call him up.
They go, give me money, faggot.
And he gives him money, you know?
Yeah, that's happening there.
Yeah.
That's happening there.
joe rogan
And Mnuchin.
tim dillon
Yeah, and he could sue me if he doesn't like it.
joe rogan
Mnuchin, do you think his wife fucks him with gloves on?
tim dillon
I don't think anyone fucks him.
I think Mnuchin...
joe rogan
He's got a hot wife, though.
tim dillon
He probably does.
You have a lot of money, you get a hot wife.
You know, a lot of these guys.
A lot of these guys do.
joe rogan
That's how they get money, right?
They get money so they can have a hot wife.
tim dillon
That's the whole point.
joe rogan
Otherwise, why would you get a lot of money?
tim dillon
To have a pedophile island or a hot wife?
joe rogan
But, like, if you really had billions and billions of dollars and you didn't have a hot wife, like, what are you doing with all that money?
tim dillon
Fucking a lot of different hot women.
joe rogan
On the side?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Keep them quiet?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
I mean, that's part of it, right?
joe rogan
How much you gotta give them to keep them quiet?
tim dillon
A lot.
Not a lot.
joe rogan
Enough.
Here's the thing, with a lot of these guys that are just money people, what keeps them working?
tim dillon
It's the same thing as what keeps us doing.
Stand-up, it's just the desire.
Yeah, I think it's just a desire to be good or great at something and just continually do something and get better and better at it.
They want to make more and more money.
Stand-up is great because you never feel like you've mastered it.
And I think money's great because there's always more and more to get.
So these guys, it's a way for type A personalities to just throw themselves into something that they'll never fully master.
You know?
They're addicted.
You get addicted to it.
We all get addicted to it.
joe rogan
So it's a game they're constantly playing.
unidentified
It's a game!
joe rogan
And they're always looking to be in the black.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I know some guys that work for some very successful guys, and it's just like it's akin to a religious experience.
That's how they feel the most alive.
joe rogan
When they're winning.
tim dillon
When they're winning, they feel the most alive.
We feel really good on stage.
That's where we feel alive.
joe rogan
Well, we feel really good creating, right?
tim dillon
Creating.
joe rogan
When you have a bit, or a video clip, like the Meghan McCain video.
tim dillon
Yeah, anything.
joe rogan
When you're putting together those things, You're creating it, and once it launches, you're like, haha, we did it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
We gave birth.
tim dillon
We did a thing that was creative and funny, and that's why podcasting now, thank God, because I don't know what the fuck I would do.
If I wasn't making these little videos on podcasting, I don't know what I would do.
Well, that's where it's weird, right?
This has got to go somewhere.
Unless you're right, I will get sued.
joe rogan
These poor fucks that don't have podcasts.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Well, a lot of people, and I have sympathy for them, they thought that the stage was a constant.
And a lot of people believed that.
Everybody was like, nobody can take away your stand-up.
You're like, Bill Burr was like, they can't take away your stand-up or your podcast.
Everyone believed that.
And then you never thought about a fucking pandemic.
You never thought that one day it would be illegal to gather.
joe rogan
How long are you going to wait before you take the Bill Gates vaccine?
tim dillon
You know, I will...
I'll think about...
Listen, I'm pretty confident, Joe.
I've beaten this and I have antibodies, so I don't know that I need the vaccine.
joe rogan
We're going to find out in an hour and a half.
tim dillon
I think I have it.
I'm going to talk big because I think I beat it.
joe rogan
But what happens after an hour and a half if it comes back like, nope?
tim dillon
I will say the test is faulty.
I will not believe the test.
No, I will take the Gates vaccine.
My concern is for the tribal women.
joe rogan
Do you think there's going to be a microship in that?
tim dillon
This is what we've got to watch.
This is what we've got to watch.
We have to watch these people.
Tech people scare me a lot more than financial people because financial people are crooks.
You can see them coming a mile away.
Tech people think they're doing stuff for the greater good.
They're more cult leaders.
It's very dangerous when you have all these people that are supposedly altruistic and they're operating pretty much in the shadows.
You don't know what they're doing.
You don't know where this money is coming from.
But I'll probably take the vaccine.
I'll probably take it.
joe rogan
Do you wish during this time that you smoked pot?
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
Do you ever thought about starting up again?
tim dillon
No, because I think I would get too paranoid.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's part of the fun.
tim dillon
I know.
joe rogan
How do you feel about secondhand smoke?
Can you handle it?
tim dillon
Yeah, smoke it.
You smoked last time.
It was fine.
joe rogan
Beautiful.
tim dillon
You smoke whatever you want.
You know?
joe rogan
This keeps me together.
tim dillon
No, you got to do it.
I'm going to go on a ventilator while you do that.
I'm just going to sit here on a vent.
joe rogan
I would share this with you, Jamie, but you haven't been tested yet.
tim dillon
Is Jamie going to get the test, or is he going to puss?
joe rogan
Of course he is.
tim dillon
He's going to puss out?
joe rogan
Everybody gets the test.
tim dillon
Everybody gets the test, man, and you go on the list.
joe rogan
Security guys get the test.
Everybody gets the test today.
tim dillon
Great.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
And we know the results right away.
joe rogan
15 minutes, and then Delia's coming by tomorrow.
I'm going to give Delia the test before the fucking show.
I'm going to keep him 13 feet away, because I read something online.
tim dillon
If anybody, yeah.
Listen, I report, you decide.
When, if you had COVID right now, would this test detect it?
joe rogan
Yes, because you have the antibodies.
tim dillon
So if I had it now and I was asymptomatic?
joe rogan
It's going to say, hey, your body's fighting off the COVID. Fuck.
tim dillon
Wow.
Interesting.
So this is the big one.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Test the blood.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Test the blood.
joe rogan
And then also the- Is it a pinprick?
tim dillon
Quick one or do they go in?
joe rogan
Real quick.
Okay.
Pinprick.
They can do the fucking swab of your brain cavity too.
tim dillon
That's a little much.
unidentified
If you'd like.
tim dillon
That's a little much.
joe rogan
Some people go for both tests because they really, really, really, really want to know.
tim dillon
But I don't think you need...
You've got to do the blood first because then you don't need the...
joe rogan
You know what this has made me concentrate on more?
Things that I enjoy.
That's true.
I've given up my carnivore diet even though I really do enjoy the carnivore diet because I want pasta.
tim dillon
Yeah, every now and then you gotta do something.
joe rogan
I've been playing a lot more pool, even though it's nonsense.
tim dillon
Do you want to go back on the road like you were?
No one does, right?
Nobody wants to be back on a plane every week anymore, right?
I just love comedy.
I want to go on the road, but we were all on the road.
I was on a plane every Thursday.
joe rogan
Well, you kind of have to do it when you're building markets.
tim dillon
Yeah, well, I'm going to have to do it.
joe rogan
But I've been thinking about doing a residency in L.A. I've been thinking about literally having shows every weekend in L.A. and then occasionally going on the road.
Like getting a small theater.
And I remember, who used to do that?
Was it Eddie Izzard?
It might have been Eddie Izzard.
He did a residency in L.A. right off of La Cienega where he was performing almost every weekend.
tim dillon
It's a good idea.
joe rogan
Not a bad idea if you have like a 500 seat theater or some shit.
tim dillon
I think once things open up again and people can start flying and things normalize to a degree.
joe rogan
Was it Eddie?
Yeah.
tim dillon
People can come out again.
joe rogan
At the Trepany house.
So he had a mini residency back in 2012. That's what it was.
tim dillon
Yeah, because the amount of traveling that I was doing, now I think to myself, I'm like, you just put yourself at a lot of risk out there.
You wear your immune system down.
joe rogan
But it's also a drag.
But there's people that are in Milwaukee or Cleveland or whatever, they can't afford to come to LA and get a fucking hotel room and all that shit.
You're going to want to come to them every now and then?
tim dillon
You have to.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I feel like all that 20 weeks a year, that's a lot.
tim dillon
I think I had 37 booked this year, and a lot of them went away already, and probably more of them will.
37 weeks?
I mean, it's crazy.
joe rogan
The worst I had was when I was doing the UFC 22 weekends a year.
unidentified
Jeez!
joe rogan
Yeah, that was crazy.
unidentified
That's a lot.
joe rogan
That was like every other weekend I was flying.
tim dillon
And then stand-up too.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I wasn't doing as much stand-up because those were the days also when I wasn't at the store.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
That was when I was banned from the store.
Okay.
And it was also the days where I just had a dumb idea that I could just do theaters on Friday night and do it like every weekend and I'd be fine.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it really wasn't.
tim dillon
No, you gotta work it out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Wasn't enough.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Stand-up just, it's like if you ran every weekend.
Are you in shape?
Right.
You know, you're in kind of shape.
tim dillon
Partially.
joe rogan
You can run every weekend, but you're not ready to rock.
tim dillon
You're not ready to go.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're not ready to go.
And that's how stand-up is, too.
It's like you can feel comfortable enough.
People are coming to see you.
You can go on stage and perform.
But stand-up is like, there's no real shortcuts.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
To do it right, you've got to do it.
First of all, I believe a bunch of things.
And they're not true with everybody.
But I think you have to go to the clubs.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And I think you have to go on stage at least four days a week.
And I think you have to write.
And I think you have to listen to your material.
Now, you can get away with not doing one or two of those things.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But they seem to be the core tenets for doing your best work.
tim dillon
100%.
I figured out, like, I build stuff on a podcast sometimes.
Like, I will talk.
joe rogan
Want one of these, Jamie?
tim dillon
I'll talk for an hour a week on a podcast.
That's a great way to kind of build something.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a great way.
Stanhope told me that he uses that.
tim dillon
And I listen to my podcast back and then pick out chunks of it that I'm like, oh, that could be funny.
joe rogan
Well, your podcast, too, one of the things that I like about you, it's almost like you work yourself into a trance where you're just a ranting trance.
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
Yeah, it seems like you have to build up momentum.
tim dillon
I do.
I do.
I don't talk to anyone for the whole day.
joe rogan
It's true.
tim dillon
I don't talk to anyone for the whole day.
And then when my producer comes over with the studios in the apartment, I just kind of go.
I have all this pent up and I just go.
And that's worked really well because it can be really funny.
That's when it's really funny because it's just out there raw.
Sometimes the funniest stuff is just I haven't ever said it before.
joe rogan
And you don't have guests.
tim dillon
I don't have guests.
joe rogan
You're doing it like Burr, which is real interesting.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's just me.
joe rogan
I think that's really strong for developing material.
tim dillon
Yeah, and it's funny.
People come to me and go, there's enough of it that's really funny.
And then sometimes it's ludicrous.
I'm being ludicrous.
joe rogan
But they give you that room.
tim dillon
Yes.
They have that room.
joe rogan
Delia does that too.
Yes.
And Theo does a lot of that too.
Just ranting.
tim dillon
Yeah, because I'm a horrible interviewer.
joe rogan
No.
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
I'm not horrible.
No, you just don't do it.
tim dillon
I just don't do it enough.
joe rogan
Dude, I fucking sucked at it for years.
Go back and listen to the early podcast.
I was not good at it.
You don't know when you're being annoying.
tim dillon
I'll interview somebody and I'll ask them a question and then I'll answer it.
Yeah.
And I'll go, you know what?
And that's a problem.
joe rogan
But that's because you have a thought and you want to run with it.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
It's just...
It's different things, right?
And like the ones I do with Joey are different than the ones I do with Duncan, which are different than the ones I do with Dahlia or with you.
It's like you have a dance you're doing with everybody and sometimes it's hard to figure out what steps you're taking, you know?
tim dillon
It's tricky.
unidentified
Podcasting is tricky.
tim dillon
I've done some good ones.
We have some good interviews in the archive.
But a lot of times, I've got to be very interested.
Sometimes I've had an XEA agent on and I was very interested.
When somebody comes on and I'm not super interested in it, it's very hard for me to still do it.
Which is the great thing about your show is when you bring people on, you give a fuck about what they're saying.
joe rogan
That seems to be the key.
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
Like, that's the key.
Like, if anybody ever said, like, how did your podcast get successful?
I think two things.
One, I only talk to people that I want to talk to.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
So no one's pushing anyone on me, and people have pushed people on me, and it's not worked out well.
The times that I've done it for favors, it's not good.
There's been some bad ones.
I wasn't interested in what they had to say, and I did it because someone was really trying to get me to have someone on.
I have to talk to the people that I want to talk to.
It has to be my idea, because I've got to really be engaged.
Sometimes people brought me ideas for guests, and it was good ideas, and I was really engaged.
Don't get me wrong.
It's not that I'm not open to suggestions, but it seems to be I have to genuinely want to do it.
Then it seems that while it's happening, I have to really be engaged in the conversation.
If it's not organic, man, people get it.
They know when you're hosing them.
tim dillon
You know well people know that yeah and most people in their life which is kind of what we've created lives where we can kind of be Yeah authentic like we can cut like most people have to file into certain Whether it's an office or wherever and they have to just tolerate bullshit Yes, and they have to talk to people they don't like and you've created a life where if you're not interested in what somebody has to say you don't have to speak to them and Well, it's also, it doesn't mean that you're not going to get things wrong.
joe rogan
And this is what people have to understand.
Everyone's going to get things wrong if you talk as much as I do.
But I think I'm real honest about when I get it wrong.
So you have to be able to say, like, I shouldn't have said it that way.
I shouldn't have done that.
But it doesn't mean that you're not going to get it wrong.
It's just you're going to...
Get better at being you, right?
Like you're really good at being you for these rants that you do.
Burr's really good at being himself for those rants.
unidentified
Amazing.
joe rogan
He's probably the best at just no pauses.
tim dillon
Yeah, no holds bar.
joe rogan
No holds bar.
Just runs right through subjects, with no preparation.
tim dillon
He's great.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's developed, and Stanhope's really good at it too.
Amazing.
Stan Hope, his podcast, he kind of developed because he doesn't have open mic nights.
tim dillon
Right.
Yeah, I use it because in L.A., there's less stage time than you would have in some other places.
Even though there's enough, you can do enough.
And I was doing a lot on the road, but it's more fun for me to just go off.
joe rogan
You're getting less stage time in L.A. than you were in New York?
tim dillon
New York, you can get up a crazy amount.
joe rogan
Really?
tim dillon
Well, there's so many clubs.
You can run from club to club to club to club.
I mean, guys like Mark Norman can do like 13 spots in a night.
I mean, that's inhuman.
But that's why he's so good.
It's like you do so much.
I like the amount of stage time I get here because the podcast is a great way to build...
Longer-form bits than just running where I have to get a laugh in front of an audience.
joe rogan
But you could do both, right?
tim dillon
Of course.
joe rogan
So you could do the podcast in New York and then just do 20 spots a night.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
Do you think that would be the way to go?
Is that the best way to do it?
tim dillon
No, I think it depends what your act is, right?
So if your act is quick, boom-boom jokes, boom-boom-boom, repetition is probably better.
But sometimes it's better to let an idea ruminate.
On a podcast and then to do maybe longer sets less frequently, people might want to build that way.
It's so individual, man.
There's no one way to do it.
joe rogan
I completely agree.
And I think that there's almost like a formula...
Where getting on stage is 100, right?
In terms of the amount of value you get for your effort.
Getting on stage is 100, and writing is maybe 30 or 40, but if you do it enough, it accumulates money in the bank.
In terms of numbers in the bank.
tim dillon
Gotta do it.
joe rogan
And I think that listening to a set is worth like $40 or $50.
So writing's worth like $30 or $40.
Listening to sets worth like $40 or $50.
And getting on stage is worth $100.
tim dillon
Yeah, Ralphie May did a great talk at, I think, I forget where it was.
Maybe the comedy store, maybe the improv, I don't know.
But he did a talk on stand-up where he said he used to play a game with himself where he'd give himself points if he did a new tag.
And then he said something interesting.
He goes, when's the last time you've gotten on stage with five minutes, just new material and nothing else?
He goes, because the first time you got on stage, you had five new minutes.
So it was the first time you got on stage, you had the balls to get up with five new minutes.
And he goes, so when's the last time you've gotten up with just five new minutes off the top?
And it makes you think.
It's like, yeah, that's a ballsy move to go out with just a new five and go, I'm just doing this.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And it's always bad in the beginning.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
Do you think we're all going to be starting over again?
I mean, not starting over, but when we get back on stage, it's going to be so weird.
It's the longest a lot of us have gone.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, man.
I think I went through when I when I was like in my 20s and I had ACL surgery for the first time that was like 90 Fuck early 90s, but I had never been off stage for like two weeks before right so two weeks later after knee reconstruction I was going on stage with crutches on I was like fuck it I'm going up Wow I was like I'm going up so I'd go on stage and hobble with a knee brace on and Two weeks after surgery.
You have to do it.
I cannot be off stage.
But then I went, I forget why, but I went even more than that one time in the early 2000s.
I think I went a whole month.
A month plus.
I'm trying to remember what's the longest time it's ever been.
tim dillon
I think with me it's a few weeks.
For a lot of us it's a few weeks.
Some people do maybe a TV thing or movie and it's like a month.
But this is going to be the longest stretch.
joe rogan
I think I've gone more than a month, but I'm not sure how long, whether it was two months.
tim dillon
If you had to bet, when do you think our feet touch a stage again?
joe rogan
Late May.
tim dillon
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, and I think there's going to be some weird shit where you're going to have one table, and then there'll be three empty tables, and then another table, like a line of people.
Wow!
There'll be like dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Yeah, a lot of people are going to be wearing masks.
tim dillon
Dude, that's going to be creepy as fuck.
joe rogan
So weird.
And then they're going to have gloves on.
tim dillon
Are we going to have to have masks?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Dude.
I don't know, man.
tim dillon
This is a post-apocalyptic stand-up.
Everyone's got a mask.
joe rogan
What if there's a flu that's 50% as deadly as COVID-19?
tim dillon
Well, I mean, let's worry about the one we have now is bad enough.
joe rogan
I know, but Paul, but it's not.
unidentified
We have a pandemic.
joe rogan
The thing is, like, the numbers of people that have died of the flu this year are way higher.
For now.
tim dillon
But it's going to go on.
joe rogan
But my point is, if we are upset that the amount of people that have died from COVID-19, if this is the last person that dies, and it won't be, surely, but if this is the last person that dies, how close would the flu have to get to that for us to take commensurate measures?
If the flu, I don't know what the number is, and I don't think they know entirely how many people get infected versus how many people die, because I don't think they really know how many people get infected.
And if COVID, they were saying that as much as 70% of the people that get it are asymptomatic, So how many people really get it?
Maybe there's a lot more people that got it, and then they're just not showing symptoms, or is it, we don't have accurate data?
I think it's probably, we don't have accurate data.
Right.
A lot of people definitely get it and don't have any symptoms, because there seems to be a lot of evidence of that.
But I don't think they know how many people got it.
We might have a very small number of people that have got it, and out of those people, the vast majority show no symptoms.
But it might be like 1% of the population has been infected.
We don't even know.
tim dillon
Part of the problem of keeping everyone on a lockdown is that nobody's developing immunity.
joe rogan
That's part of it.
tim dillon
That's part of the issue, right?
So you're slowing the spread of this.
joe rogan
But it's too dangerous to give people that option.
tim dillon
Of course.
Of course.
But eventually you're going to have to start opening the economy.
People carefully going out with masks and things like that.
joe rogan
I think for sure.
But I think here's something- Is takeout safe?
tim dillon
They've told us that's safe.
I order that.
I think it's safe.
joe rogan
How could it be if there's things on surfaces?
tim dillon
That's what I mean.
joe rogan
Somebody sneezes on your egg roll.
tim dillon
But here's the deal.
On that Diamond Princess cruise ship, only 17% of people got it.
And those people are living together very close quarters like a Petri dish.
joe rogan
Yep, and they're all breathing recirculated air.
tim dillon
Yeah, but only 17% of people got it.
unidentified
Crazy.
joe rogan
How's that possible?
tim dillon
Because I don't think it's as transmissible as we think.
joe rogan
Bro, imagine being stuck on one of those cruise ships with people coughing in the distance.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's horrible.
It's horrible without a pandemic.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
But I don't think...
joe rogan
But imagine right now, because I'm high, so let me think.
If I'm in a boat right now, right?
So I'm in this metal thing, which is in the middle of the dark ocean.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Especially at nighttime.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right?
So you're in this thing floating around, literally in the center of the goddamn ocean.
For some strange reason, you've agreed to be on this metal thing that floats.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Which doesn't make any sense.
First of all, metal floating makes zero sense.
A giant metal thing floating.
tim dillon
Look at all those fucking people!
And you're there with the worst people in the world.
joe rogan
And if you fall off the side, you're dead!
tim dillon
Some people try to kill themselves.
You know what's really?
This is true.
Some guy tried to kill himself on the boat.
This is how sad this was.
They saw him.
joe rogan
And they caught him.
tim dillon
They caught him and they brought him back on the boat.
So literally at the buffet the next day, everybody's like, that's the guy that tried to kill himself.
unidentified
How horrible is that?!
tim dillon
You're back!
You're back!
Imagine being at a breakfast buffet after the last, you know?
unidentified
Sorry, guys.
joe rogan
I was having a rough night.
tim dillon
One guy killed his wife on a cruise because I went on the Impractical Jokers cruise.
I went on one cruise and it was just to perform, right?
Me and a bunch of other comics went.
And we were talking to some of the cruise people and they said one guy pushed his wife off the side.
Yeah.
And then he didn't care.
He went to, like, 80s night.
He was dancing.
He just pushed his wife right off the side.
unidentified
Jesus Christ.
tim dillon
Dude, cruise people are sick.
They're sick people.
joe rogan
Some people are sick.
Like, some people could do that.
Now, here's the thing.
We're thinking about it like it's the ocean.
I want you to think about it like it's space.
tim dillon
Okay.
joe rogan
Imagine if...
If there was this ship that was going through space, but space was just like, it was almost like there was air around you where you could kick someone off the side and they would just fall to forever.
Right, right.
You're doing the same thing.
Yeah.
tim dillon
Would you be terrified?
joe rogan
Oh my God!
tim dillon
Yeah, and if you heard someone cough, would you have heard someone cough?
joe rogan
Oh my God, what would you do?
What would you do if you were on a spaceship and you heard someone coughing?
tim dillon
It would take two weeks before you get back to the planet.
I think you've got to stay in your little cube.
You've got to stay in your little room.
Everyone on the Grand Princess was sequestered in their room.
joe rogan
Honestly, how is that different?
You being on a spaceship in the middle of the sky and you hear someone coughing and you're like, we gotta get out of here.
There's a sick person on a spaceship.
tim dillon
It's not that different.
joe rogan
How much different is it?
tim dillon
It's not that different.
I would say this.
I would say less pig trash people could afford to go to space.
For now.
For now.
joe rogan
Back in the fucking Titanic days, it was a crazy thing to be able to get in a boat and make your way across the country.
unidentified
Yeah, it's true.
joe rogan
Now you're a peasant.
tim dillon
That scares me just space cruises, which is disgusting.
joe rogan
But the people, my point is, it's not like the uber wealthy people that are getting on these cruise ships.
tim dillon
No, it's animals.
It's savage people.
It's animals.
They're fat pig.
I could have been a personal trainer on the boat.
I mean, people were looking at me like, how do you do it?
They're going to party.
joe rogan
They're going to have a good time.
tim dillon
They're grotesque.
You know what's the funniest thing?
On that boat, there was a little library and I walked in.
I'm like, has anyone checked out a book?
And the guy goes, no.
I'm like, has anyone ever checked out a book?
They have a library on the cruise ship!
And it's not even good books, it's trashy romance novels, but none of these people can read.
joe rogan
What is the drug policy on one of those cruise ships?
Can you bring weed on board?
tim dillon
I think you can bring whatever you want.
I mean, it depends, right?
It depends if you dock at a...
joe rogan
Yeah, but in international waters, what are the deals with weed?
tim dillon
I don't know if they search your bags.
I mean, people were bringing food on board.
That was disturbing.
joe rogan
That's another thing, right?
Like, you're not in America.
tim dillon
No, you're in international waters and then you dock outside of this fake little town in Mexico where they literally bought the beachfront and it's a third world country and they drive you past roosters and shoeless guys running around.
joe rogan
Jamie, what are you showing me?
Doug Stanhope?
Oh, that's right.
He got on the cruise and he taped booze to his body, right?
Like drugs?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So what does he got?
unidentified
Bladders of like gin.
tim dillon
Bladders.
joe rogan
Bladders and bottles of booze.
So he bought like those hiking bladders that you put in your backpack where you drink water out of and he filled them with booze.
But he's on a cruise ship where they have all this booze.
tim dillon
Yeah, but he wants the real deal stuff.
You know, they're going to water it down.
joe rogan
They do?
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They don't give you shots?
tim dillon
I think they do some...
joe rogan
That's even more outrageous.
tim dillon
I think you've got to watch.
joe rogan
If they don't let you booze it up...
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dude, if I'm on a boat, I'm getting drunk.
tim dillon
Well, I'm sure there's different kinds of cruises, but the ones we're talking about, like Carnival...
I know.
joe rogan
If you were on those, wouldn't you want to be hammered?
tim dillon
That's why people are like, why are people leaving their houses?
There are people that are like, if I can't go on a cruise and get fucked up, I don't want to live.
There are those people right now.
They're like, if I can't go to Applebee's, I don't want to live.
Yeah, there's people that are not having a great time in America.
joe rogan
How many people are like weekend cruise people?
Like every weekend they go on a cruise somewhere?
tim dillon
I was on, I'm telling you, I did a practical joke.
There was an old lady and she goes, you know, don't take Carnival.
It's very bad.
We've taken it twice.
It was horrible times.
Norwegian's good.
Yeah, they just, they just, they're cruise people.
I mean, just the lowest caliber of human being to have ever drawn a breath.
joe rogan
How much is, how much is the cruise cost?
tim dillon
Like if you want to- Dude, it's like no money!
joe rogan
It's for people that just got out of prison!
Let's say if you're going to leave Mexico, where would you go?
Like South America?
tim dillon
No, you don't leave Mexico.
You just go out in the ocean and then you just come back to some fake town.
We went to Costa Maya.
Look up Costa Maya, Mexico.
Costa Maya, Mexico is a place that's owned.
The cruise ships just own this little beachfront.
joe rogan
Okay, so it's like a trip.
Like, you float around the water, then you come back.
tim dillon
And you come back, and then they just have these little stands on the beach.
joe rogan
Wait a minute, this is crazy.
Cruises to Mexico from $109 a person?
tim dillon
What did you think it was?
joe rogan
For how many days?
tim dillon
Like, seven days.
joe rogan
No.
tim dillon
Yeah, dude.
joe rogan
Is that real?
tim dillon
Of course.
joe rogan
Oh my god, look at the big warning, though.
The COVID warning.
Blow that up.
What does it say, Jamie?
tim dillon
They're like, you'll die if you do this.
People don't care.
joe rogan
Oh, please be aware of any coronavirus, COVID-19 travel advisories and view updates from the World Health Organization.
Due to unprecedented volume of travel disruptions, refunds may take up to 30 days to process.
tim dillon
Which by that point you'll be dead.
joe rogan
So are they allowed to take cruises right now?
tim dillon
Yeah, they just lie about your symptoms.
joe rogan
This is the next one they have available.
It seems like August 30th is the first one they have available.
So they're banking on August 30th.
tim dillon
Dude, that boat's already full.
People are going on that boat.
Dude, August 30th is going to be a party.
They don't give a shit.
They're going to get on in hospital gowns right from the ER. They don't care.
joe rogan
You know what they're going to do?
They're going to do all the people that have survived.
tim dillon
Yes!
It's going to be Survivor Party.
We beat it.
joe rogan
They also would have the antibodies.
tim dillon
Of course.
They're all going to have the bracelets.
They'll be in hospital gowns on the beach.
joe rogan
But you know there's going to be one dude who lies about it?
tim dillon
Everybody's gonna lie.
joe rogan
He's gonna come back because there's a girl, she's hot, he wants to fuck her, so he told her, yeah, I've got it, don't worry.
tim dillon
And she's not hot, but she's a girl.
joe rogan
She's hot enough.
She's hot enough for him to cause genocide.
So he's gonna come back with this virus, he's gonna kill us all.
tim dillon
He's gonna destroy everybody.
joe rogan
He's gonna kill us all because he wanted to fuck this chick and he's gonna lie about having it.
A new advanced form that it doesn't do anything to people that have already had it, but as soon as it gets into a new person, it kills them.
tim dillon
It makes so much sense that the virus that'll get rid of us as a planet come from a cruise, the most disgusting, unnecessary...
Dude, this has nothing to do with the water.
It has nothing to do with the water.
Nobody swims.
Nobody gets to the island and swims.
It's kind of a dump.
People just go on and buy shitty jewelry.
They buy fake jewelry.
Dude, there's a TV in your room on a cruise, and when you turn it on, it's just commercials for shit you can buy when you dock at the island.
It'll be a guy who's like, I've been in the cruise and jewelry industry for 20 years.
It's like, that's not an industry.
joe rogan
Dude, a cruise is $100.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's $100.
unidentified
And they buy garbage jewels because it's tax-free.
joe rogan
How long is that cruise, Jamie?
jamie vernon
That was the three to five days section.
tim dillon
That is insane!
joe rogan
Five days for $100.
unidentified
You can't even live for $100 five days just for food.
tim dillon
All you can eat.
joe rogan
All you can eat.
tim dillon
Yes, and probably all you can drink.
joe rogan
Everything's free except for alcohol.
That might be the craziest thing we've ever read on this show.
tim dillon
That's why people are like, oh, cruises are going out of business.
I'm like, I'll tell you, they're not.
They're not.
That's a vacation for somebody who's fucked.
joe rogan
So, but wait a minute.
It's not all booze included.
tim dillon
No, you gotta pay for booze.
joe rogan
That's where they make their money.
That's why they sneak it on.
tim dillon
That's why they sneak it on.
joe rogan
Oh, that's how they make their money.
So the 25 bucks a day is just a, come on, we're friends!
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Four days!
tim dillon
25 bucks a day!
100 bucks!
That's just unlimited fried food to throw down your throat.
joe rogan
Three to five days for $100.
tim dillon
109. Imagine five days of food for $109.
joe rogan
They probably encourage you to get off the wagon.
tim dillon
Like, what are you doing?
joe rogan
You're drinking water?
Yeah, well, I'm clean and sober for 15 years now.
tim dillon
Oh, they don't tolerate that.
joe rogan
What the fuck are you doing on this boat, man?
unidentified
It's a party.
tim dillon
It's a carnival.
Haven't you heard?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
You don't need to see your kids.
Get fucked up.
joe rogan
Just get fucked up, and we'll give you Ibogaine at the end of the week.
tim dillon
Dude, you know that in a cruise boat, there's a little cruise jail?
Swear to God.
joe rogan
They have a cruise jail?
tim dillon
They have a cruise jail.
If you do something, sometimes you've got to go to the cruise jail until they can dock and have the authorities come get you.
joe rogan
So if you murder your wife?
tim dillon
You do something like that, you go to the cruise jail.
joe rogan
The guy who threw his wife overboard, did they throw him in the cruise jail?
tim dillon
He went to cruise jail.
joe rogan
Look, there's a water slide.
Look at these people.
unidentified
Hi.
tim dillon
See, this is in the 80s, I guess, when it made sense.
joe rogan
When did they start these things?
tim dillon
Dude, there's comics that perform on them.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They live in hell.
tim dillon
Yeah.
unidentified
There's, um...
joe rogan
There's something about it.
It's just, it's so strange.
And when I was in Italy, three-day cruises for $325.
tim dillon
That was when it first started.
joe rogan
Yeah, 85. That was 1985. It's cheaper now.
tim dillon
It's probably like air travel.
joe rogan
When I was in Venice, there were the people that, there are locals there, first of all.
I mean, I'm an intruder.
We're all intruders.
There's too many.
Too many tourists.
But they relied on it, too.
So it's real strange.
tim dillon
That's their economy.
joe rogan
But it's also, it used to be more quaint.
And then what happened is, whenever a cruise ship would pull up, you would get, what, 2,000, 3,000 people would come pouring out at once.
And so when we were there, two cruise ships docked.
And it was crazy.
tim dillon
And then Venice is this beautiful city.
And then you have this grotesque cruise ship with, like, paintings of dolphins on the side.
It's so white trash, like...
America just showing up.
joe rogan
And then they would fill these riverboats, and they would get into the canal area, and they would be filled with people.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they would drive around, staring and pointing at things, and you'd be like, wow, this is nuts.
tim dillon
Well, now that they're not around, you have, like, things are coming back into the Venice Canal, like dolphins.
unidentified
I know.
tim dillon
But I know all these idiots are like, oh, isn't that nice?
It's like, it's nice, but the world economy's collapsed.
It's not a good trade-off.
joe rogan
The people got addicted to people coming in.
The tourists.
But if they only had a limited number.
It should be like a house party.
After 100 people, you can't cut it off.
You can't have cruise ships.
They kept hitting the docks, too.
tim dillon
They hit the docks twice.
But you're going to need them.
They're coming back hard.
Cruises are coming back so big after this.
I'm telling you.
joe rogan
You think so?
tim dillon
We're a sick country.
All over the world, people are wild.
People are going to want to...
There are people that love cruises.
They think they've discovered a gold mine.
People will tell you, I took a cruise for $160.
It's so embarrassing that they say that, and you're like, you're an animal.
joe rogan
Well, if you're a non-drinker, though, it must be amazing.
unidentified
But here's the thing.
tim dillon
It's so fun.
There's a certain group of people in the world who've accepted they're animals, and then it's just fun.
joe rogan
How many people are on a cruise every day because it's cheaper than being homeless?
tim dillon
Great point.
joe rogan
If you go to a cruise every day, if you're on a cruise every day, you're really only spending like $1.50 a week.
tim dillon
That's Carnival's cure.
joe rogan
You spend $150 a week, you get a room, and you get all the food you can eat.
That is a crazy deal.
Can you imagine?
tim dillon
It's a cure for homelessness.
joe rogan
And they have booze there.
Do they have booze 24 hours a day, or do they have a cutoff time?
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
So it's like Vegas.
unidentified
Yeah!
Yeah!
joe rogan
Of course.
tim dillon
Do what you want.
joe rogan
Imagine that.
The freedom of being on this boat, this metal thing floating around the ocean.
tim dillon
That's where you live.
Where do you live?
joe rogan
I live on the Carnival Cruise Line.
tim dillon
There are people that do that, Joe, that literally live on a boat all year round.
joe rogan
Why not?
You should be on a cruise every day of the year.
tim dillon
Well, why not is because you're a person.
That's the why not, is because you're a person.
But if you're not, there are people that, dude, the level of big on those boats, those are big boys and girls.
joe rogan
Like Disneyland.
tim dillon
Four, five hungies.
joe rogan
Yeah, when you see people on scooters, they have scooters.
tim dillon
I saw a scooter and they were going on the boat.
unidentified
On the boat?
tim dillon
They were going up the ramp on the boat.
There's something fucked up about being on a vehicle and then somebody on another vehicle.
unidentified
Pfft!
joe rogan
World's longest cruise set sail from London.
tim dillon
Oh, Christ.
jamie vernon
They left in September on a 245-day cruise.
Do you think that they're still out there?
unidentified
They had to come back.
joe rogan
Oh, they're still out there.
unidentified
They would be safe.
tim dillon
They're all dead.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
It's a Viking ship.
tim dillon
The ship is just coughing at this point.
joe rogan
Look at the size of it.
Look at that.
Go back.
Is that a video?
unidentified
It's a picture.
Yeah, a video.
joe rogan
Go back to the size of it when they pull up.
Would they have Viking, Carnival...
Is this a Viking?
tim dillon
Yeah, look how big.
joe rogan
But it looks like the name Viking is perfect for something like that.
tim dillon
The Oasis of the Seas is the...
Yeah, Viking is perfect.
joe rogan
If that was filled with Vikings and it came pulling into your shore, you'd be like, oh, fuck.
tim dillon
Yeah, but this is not Vikings eating herring and, you know, this is people who are just...
There are more chefs...
joe rogan
Yeah, Viking Sun, that's what it is.
tim dillon
There are more chefs on that boat than doctors in the places they're going.
Like, they're pulling up to an island with, like, two doctors and they've got 65 people cooking.
joe rogan
So is this thing still out there?
tim dillon
That's what I was asking.
jamie vernon
I mean, I just was Googling, like, how long was the longest trip.
tim dillon
A lot of them, they're not letting them dock.
joe rogan
This was $92,000 per person.
This was a lot of money.
That's a big one.
$92,990 per person, which includes business class, airfare, meals, and a free excursion in each port of call.
So these people just decided to live on this thing.
tim dillon
For a year.
joe rogan
For almost a year.
tim dillon
And see the world.
joe rogan
How many days, Jamie?
unidentified
$245.
tim dillon
Oh, ships free of kids in casinos.
Interesting.
joe rogan
Wow, that's interesting.
tim dillon
See, these are the higher-end ones, even though they're gross, too.
joe rogan
Yeah, no kid or casino, is that what it said?
tim dillon
Yeah, a lot of cruises, a lot of it's gambling.
It's a lot of people that want to gamble.
joe rogan
But this is a fairly small thing, right?
It's like 900 people?
unidentified
It's interesting, too.
They have a world-class lecture.
jamie vernon
They have TED Talks going on on there.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
unidentified
Maybe they knew something was coming.
tim dillon
Let me tell you, right.
If Bill Gates is on the boat, don't worry.
We're getting everybody.
joe rogan
Nobody needs HPV. Bill's got you covered, tribal folk.
tim dillon
Dude, there were no TED Talks on the boat I was on.
joe rogan
But imagine, that's a great idea.
Like, if you were an older person, like a couple, and you're like, you know, your kids leave the house.
tim dillon
Just do a year.
joe rogan
Let's hang out together.
Let's do a year on a boat together.
tim dillon
Let's do a year, but dude...
joe rogan
Screaming while they're drunk, right?
tim dillon
Around the third or fourth week, you go, what the fuck are we doing?
joe rogan
What the fuck are we doing?
tim dillon
What are we doing?
joe rogan
What are we doing?
tim dillon
Dude, there's something weird looking out and just seeing water.
joe rogan
Yes.
tim dillon
There's something weird.
Forever.
And going, is there a doctor on this?
And if something happens, what kind of doctor works on Carnival Cruise Slot?
What kind of...
You know what I mean?
It's not the best doctor.
joe rogan
Allegedly.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
He might be amazing.
He might be a guy that's his calling.
tim dillon
Can you imagine being sick and being in the Carnival Cruise doctor's office?
You'd be like, just throw me overboard.
joe rogan
You'd probably experiment on people.
tim dillon
Oh, God.
That's where Gates is fucking using the vaccines.
Yeah.
He's putting them in fat people on Carnival Cruise Line.
They can't find a vein.
joe rogan
They can experiment with people in exchange for a free fare.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I mean, it was one of the weirdest things I've ever done.
I did it three nights.
I performed.
Those are great.
Salvo Khan is a great dude.
He invited us all.
He also does stand-up.
He's one of the jokers.
But I mean, it's a wild party over there.
And after three days, you're like, get me off.
Get me back.
And we left out of New Orleans, which is cool.
joe rogan
Did you do it with Kreischer and Ari?
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
How fucked up does Burke get on a boat?
tim dillon
You know, I'm trying to remember.
I don't remember him being more fucked up or less fucked up than usual.
I think he was just...
I don't know.
He was drinking.
I think it was right after Sober October.
joe rogan
Yes.
tim dillon
That's what I'm saying.
Right after Sober October.
He was having fun.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
He was enjoying himself.
But he's never like too...
joe rogan
He goes hard in the paint.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I mean, he always handles himself well, though.
joe rogan
What's amazing about Bert is how good a shape he's in.
tim dillon
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
For the amount of booze that he does.
tim dillon
He runs a lot.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I was telling him.
I was like, dude, your body is so robust.
tim dillon
He's tough, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, if you didn't drink at all, you would probably be a savage.
tim dillon
Yeah, well, he was very in shape young.
joe rogan
Well, he was in shape, for sure.
But I'm saying the kind of work he's making his body go through every day.
Every day he's making his liver process all that hooch.
It's tough.
tim dillon
But you also said earlier that he shouldn't speak publicly if not drunk.
joe rogan
No, he should drink.
He should drink every time he says something.
He's better that way.
jamie vernon
I guess it's out there somewhere, that ship.
joe rogan
Eight Canadians allowed to disembark from Viking Sun cruise ship in Gibraltar for repatriation.
tim dillon
What the hell happens to the rest of them?
joe rogan
For repatriation?
Imagine you're going to live in Gibraltar.
unidentified
Jesus.
tim dillon
Well, what is it?
Quarantine?
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't know.
But I mean, this sounds hilarious.
It just sounds like something from a Game of Thrones book.
tim dillon
Yeah, repatriation.
joe rogan
This has been announced by the government, which says that this follows a request from the Canadian High Commissioner in London for Gibraltar's help in repatriating the seven passengers and one crewman.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I don't even know what the fuck.
joe rogan
Number six says the disembarkation took place in the bay, not alongside the cruise terminal.
tim dillon
So they went to a smaller boat in the bay, and then were probably brought to the...
joe rogan
Yeah, it says that there's no cases of COVID-19 on board the Viking Sun, which had submitted a clear maritime declaration, is therefore clear to enter the port.
That would be what would happen.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
There would be a virus that runs through us like fire through bushes, and they would repopulate the earth with these TED Talk people on this fucking cruise line for 245 days.
That might be what it is.
tim dillon
Well, that's how you usher in the movie Idiocracy, if the only people that survived are cruise pigs.
joe rogan
These are the TED Talk cruise pigs.
They're a different breed.
tim dillon
Okay, you're right about that.
joe rogan
And they're also spending $93,000 to do this thing for 245 days.
unidentified
But they're all probably older.
tim dillon
They're probably older.
There's probably only a few young people that are doing that.
unidentified
Oh, right.
tim dillon
There's no eggs.
Yeah, there's no eggs on that boat.
joe rogan
No eggs.
tim dillon
Dude, it's the crew.
It's got to be the crew.
joe rogan
The crew fucks their way out of this.
tim dillon
And those are weird, too.
The crew fucks.
joe rogan
The crew's all people that work at the fucking diner sanctuary.
tim dillon
People that work on cruises are weird, too, man.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
They're very strange.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
Like, it's odd.
joe rogan
Yeah, they have to be.
tim dillon
Those are guys that partied, and they're just like, what if this was every night forever?
joe rogan
I ran into a comic at the port.
I was with the missus on vacation, and I ran into a comic at a port in Mexico, and he had just gotten off this boat, and the dude looked like someone stole some of his essence.
They looked like someone had taken 10-15% of what makes him a person.
tim dillon
And he'd been working on the boat.
joe rogan
It wasn't like running into someone at Hilarity's in Cleveland.
Like, what's up?
tim dillon
How's the show?
joe rogan
Oh, it's great.
Our fucking shows are awesome.
This was not that.
It was not that happy feeling.
It's rough.
And it's realizing this is what I'm doing for a living now.
tim dillon
This is a tough one.
joe rogan
I'm on a boat.
tim dillon
I'm entertaining the worst people in the world in the middle of the ocean.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you know who loves those things, though?
unidentified
Who?
joe rogan
Again, shout out to Alonzo Bowden.
Alonzo Bowden goes on jazz cruises.
tim dillon
God, well, those may be different.
That might be different.
People that like jazz, I mean, that's a little different.
They're just people that go, I want to spend $35 to go on a vacation with my family because I can eat on a floating thing.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's different.
tim dillon
I mean, they don't even go and do anything cool.
joe rogan
Yeah, you'd have to have a cruise, and the cruise would have to be populated by...
It would have to be people that are into shit you're into.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
Absolutely.
And there's a lot of those.
There's all kinds of cruises.
I mean, dude, there's like sick cruises.
There's a Walking Dead cruise where people dress up like zombies.
I mean, yeah.
Stuff like that's crazy.
joe rogan
What if we did a working comedian cruise?
tim dillon
You should do a JRE cruise.
joe rogan
Well, only people that are actual comedians and their significant others.
tim dillon
Interesting.
Interesting.
joe rogan
We'd hate each other.
But five days and this floaty thing in the middle of the ocean?
tim dillon
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Someone would yell at Bert.
We'd have to have a sit down.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Someone would be really mad at Bert.
unidentified
If you're not on time, you get left.
jamie vernon
So how many people are going to get left at the first port?
tim dillon
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Bobby Lee's never making it on board.
tim dillon
Yeah, a lot of people would not get on.
joe rogan
Tony Hawk's barely going to make it on.
tim dillon
Yeah, it would be bad.
It would be bad.
joe rogan
Comics are all irresponsible.
tim dillon
Very much.
joe rogan
The funny ones in particular are always super irresponsible.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Most of them are.
Yeah, most of them are a mess.
joe rogan
Wow.
Yeah, they wouldn't make it on board.
But imagine if the only people that survived were the people on that cruise.
tim dillon
That's a Stephen King type of novel.
Yeah, it is.
Just the people aboard this cruise ship now have to...
But think of how cool that is to be on a cruise ship and sail back to an America where everybody's dead.
That would be great.
joe rogan
They left London though, right?
That's where it leaves?
It left London, 245 days?
jamie vernon
Yeah, last week it said they had arrived in Bali.
joe rogan
I was trying to track information about it.
Imagine you're in the middle of this thing that you've been planning for a whole year.
I can't believe we're going to do it.
Oh my god, we're really going to do it.
We're going to do 245 days.
Why not?
The kids are out of the house.
I love being around here.
We'll have a great time together.
tim dillon
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
joe rogan
And you're in the middle of the ocean.
You find out the world's on fire.
tim dillon
How about those guys on that show, Big Brother, who were being kept in isolation, that reality show in Germany?
They had no idea.
And somebody had to stop them and go, hey, by the way, just to let you guys know, there's a worldwide pandemic ravaging the plague.
Like, that's a crazy...
joe rogan
My friend Adam Greentree, the dude who shot that water buffalo that's above the head up there.
It's my bow hunting friend from Australia.
He was actually in the bush when the shit hit the fan.
And he got back to his car and someone had written in the dirt on the window, call home ASAP. Something like that.
See, is it on his Instagram?
Yeah, he actually took a photo of it and put it on his Instagram.
So he had no idea.
tim dillon
It's like that thing right after 9-11, there was dust on a car window.
Somebody wrote, this is war.
joe rogan
Get home ASAP. Wow.
tim dillon
That's scary as fuck.
joe rogan
But he goes off the grid.
He's a bow hunter.
And he goes to these really remote locations and he just brings a backpack and a small tent with him and water purification and arrows and he fucking goes.
unidentified
He goes.
joe rogan
And he'll go for like six, seven days like that.
And so that's one of the things.
tim dillon
He was completely, you know, so he left before there was even talk of this.
joe rogan
So he's got that.
That's his back.
tim dillon
And that's it.
joe rogan
That little backpack.
This is a very satisfying feeling in having everything you need on your back.
First day into some spectacular New Zealand country.
Insta story uploaded daily.
So he was just going up there and...
By himself, with no one with him, no contact with the outside world, but I guess he was still updating his Instagram.
tim dillon
Yeah, who's taking that photo?
jamie vernon
He usually posts when he gets back home, usually, but this time he might have been there.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's updating it daily.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I don't know.
But either way, so he comes back and he finds that note on his car.
I mean, a lot of what he does, he does and he documents for social media because one time back in the day, it was like two years ago, he was doing this 28-day hunt by himself in Idaho and in Wyoming.
Including encounters that he would stream with a fucking grizzly bear.
So he had a grizzly bear that was chasing after him and he had a faulty pistol on him.
He didn't even know that the pistol didn't work.
He had the wrong size ammo in it.
And he documented all of it and we started talking about it on the podcast.
He developed this, like, really engaged social media following that really gets excited when he goes on these trips.
Expeditions, yeah.
unidentified
Because he uploads.
joe rogan
So this is it.
See, that's him with a gun.
And see, if you could see the gun, the bullet is not in the chamber.
It's jammed.
That's why it's open like that.
So that bullet, it wasn't even fired.
And that's a grizzly bear in the background.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, and she's got a cub with her, and she's thinking about fucking him up, and she bluff charges him a couple times, and he tries to get away from her, he tries to walk away, and she followed him.
Really creepy shit.
tim dillon
What do you do in that instance?
joe rogan
What he did, he stood his ground, and she came charging at him.
He said she got within several feet of him a couple of times before she turned away.
tim dillon
So what do you think a bear decides at that point?
They just go, ah, fuck it.
joe rogan
You never know, man.
It's either going to decide it's going to kill you or it's going to try to scare you.
tim dillon
If it decides to kill you, it's over.
joe rogan
It's over.
It's over.
There's nothing you can do.
Especially if you have a gun that doesn't work.
tim dillon
Well, that's the thing.
You don't have to have a gun.
joe rogan
They would tear you apart like you would tear apart a little baby chick.
Like a little baby chicken.
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
That's how a bear would tear you apart.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
They're so big and they kill moose.
tim dillon
They kill deer and elk with their face.
joe rogan
They just grab ahold of them and rip them apart.
They're so strong, man.
tim dillon
It fucks you off because they're cute looking.
They look like cuddly, but they're not.
joe rogan
They're like a 900 pound Rottweiler.
tim dillon
Do you ever watch those things where guys hug them and live with them?
joe rogan
Assholes.
Yeah, it's weird.
Assholes.
tim dillon
Very strange.
joe rogan
You crazy fucks.
tim dillon
Whitney Cummings was explaining to me how all these tigers are tortured.
I didn't really know.
I didn't know about all that.
I didn't know that they were drugged and stuff.
I thought the tigers kind of liked being showmen.
joe rogan
I don't think that's stupid.
The ones on Tiger King?
Those weren't drugged.
I don't think they were drugged.
They drugged them when they moved them.
tim dillon
Yeah, but some of them look...
They're in these confined spaces.
joe rogan
It's hell.
It's not right.
tim dillon
It's not right.
They're wild animals.
joe rogan
Well, it's not just that.
It's also their cats.
And if there's anything that cats like more than anything, it's to kill.
They love killing shit.
I'm not saying that it's great that they kill things.
I'm not glorifying or even joking around about this.
I'm just saying think about what a cat is.
Just think about a house cat.
House cats are some of the most vicious fucking monsters.
unidentified
They're horrible.
joe rogan
They walk to face the planet.
All they want to do is kill, and they're not even a little hungry.
tim dillon
They try to kill you.
They swipe at your face, they're trying to kill you.
joe rogan
Yeah, they just know they're outgunned, so they let it go.
unidentified
Right, right.
joe rogan
But they're so small, and they kill so much.
House cats kill billions of birds and mammals every year.
Billions of them.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Just they go outside and fuck these things up.
Yeah, of course.
And come back inside.
And now imagine being something like that, but it's your 700 pounds.
tim dillon
Yeah, you're massive.
joe rogan
And all you want to do is chase things and kill.
And you never get to chase things.
You never get to kill.
tim dillon
You just put it in a cage.
joe rogan
Yeah, and every now and then they give you a beef leg to eat.
tim dillon
Yeah, expired meat from Walmart was what that guy was feeding them.
unidentified
Bro.
joe rogan
And he's, you know, they're tearing this stuff apart and eating it, but they never get to kill anything.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They want to kill things.
tim dillon
That's their nature.
You're robbing something of its nature.
It's like telling us we can't do stand-up, telling somebody you can't do the thing you enjoy.
joe rogan
Exactly.
tim dillon
Yeah, what you're built to do.
joe rogan
Don't touch your penis.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
You're telling them not to do things they want to do.
And for a cat, you're never giving them that...
There's a reason why cats exist, right?
They're big and they're 100% carnivorous.
They're very, very, very fast.
Well, why would nature create something like that?
Why would nature allow something like that?
Because there's too many of the other things.
tim dillon
How did the cat become domesticated?
Like, how did it become...
The version that we have now, just like kind of a fat, lazy, nasty animal.
joe rogan
Good question.
Good question.
And when?
When did it become?
tim dillon
When did that?
Because didn't in ancient Egypt they worshipped cats?
joe rogan
Worshipped them.
tim dillon
Cats are very interesting.
joe rogan
But it's also, you know, they probably were amazed that cats would hang out with them.
I bet they were dealing with like servals and shit like that.
Those freaky cats that a lot of people keep as pets.
tim dillon
Yeah, cool cats.
joe rogan
The ones that are never really your pet.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Well, you never own a cat.
You never own a cat.
Cats never care.
joe rogan
Those predatory-looking serval things.
tim dillon
Yeah, the bangles and the servals.
Yeah, of course.
You had a bobcat in your yard.
Dude, just walking around.
joe rogan
Just walking around.
tim dillon
What do you do in that instance?
You don't care.
unidentified
Small.
joe rogan
Well, my daughter took the photo.
I wasn't there.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
It wasn't that small.
I mean, it was about...
35 pounds.
tim dillon
Did she send me the photo immediately?
joe rogan
Yeah, she sent me the photo.
tim dillon
And what do you do?
Do you go get inside?
joe rogan
Holy shit.
It was my older daughter, so it wasn't...
But the...
She's smart enough to know.
tim dillon
She knows, yeah.
joe rogan
But the thing about it is, like, they're always going to be around.
Like, we live...
In LA. Yeah.
If you live in LA, right?
If you're in the hills, you think of hills.
That's the cat.
Look at that fucking thing.
tim dillon
It's cool looking.
joe rogan
Yeah.
If there's anywhere that has coyotes, and everywhere has coyotes.
tim dillon
Everywhere.
joe rogan
Everywhere.
Burbank has coyotes.
Well, they can have bobcats too, and they probably do.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's eagles, there's all sorts of shit.
There's mountain lions.
tim dillon
Down by Malibu, that area.
joe rogan
Sure, sure, dude.
There's, I mean, the thing about, particularly like the whole Los Angeles area, you know, Pasadena has a problem with bears.
There's a great video of this guy walking down an alleyway on his phone in Pasadena.
tim dillon
Oh yeah, I saw that!
joe rogan
There's a fucking bear right in front of him.
tim dillon
Like a black bear.
Well, California's flag is the bear.
joe rogan
Well, that's actually a grizzly bear.
tim dillon
Interesting.
joe rogan
California used to have grizzly bears.
And the last grizzly bear was killed in Levesque, or the last grizzly bear killed a person in Levesque, California.
And it was named after the guy who was the last guy killed by a grizzly bear.
And they actually dug him up years later and found his bones were destroyed, which was consistent with a grizzly bear attack.
tim dillon
Where is that...
Is that Northern California?
joe rogan
It's like, no, it's outside of Bakersfield, like off the 5. If you fed that bobcat, would it come back?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, people do.
Dummies.
Dummies feed them.
I know a dude, his wife feeds coyotes.
tim dillon
That's crazy.
joe rogan
She leaves food out for the coyotes.
tim dillon
But a bobcat like that's fun.
joe rogan
They're both crazy.
Look at these bears in this guy's pool.
tim dillon
In California?
joe rogan
That's great.
Dude, Pasadena.
They come down off the mountains.
You know, Pasadena is pretty fucking close to the mountains.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
So these are just regular bears, wild bears, that live in fucking Pasadena.
tim dillon
And what's that sheriff gonna do?
joe rogan
He's gonna do shit, bitch!
Pasadena has everything, man.
They got hawks, they got mountain lions, they got bears, and they have these really nice- I love their swimming, it's great.
Old houses.
Have you ever been to Pasadena?
tim dillon
It's beautiful.
Beautiful.
The old...
joe rogan
Old Pasadena is amazing.
tim dillon
It's great, yeah.
joe rogan
What they say is...
This is they.
I don't know who they are.
But they say that the Hollywood...
unidentified
The internet.
joe rogan
Fame people, the famous people in the early days of Hollywood...
tim dillon
Lived there.
joe rogan
The actors lived in Hollywood Hills, and the producers lived in Pasadena.
And so they have these beautiful estates.
tim dillon
You know, they're gorgeous.
Oh, my God.
Well, it's like Hancock Park is kind of like that.
Have you ever been to Hancock Park?
joe rogan
Exactly like that.
tim dillon
Beautiful Hancock Park.
Yeah, it's really nice.
joe rogan
Yeah, but Pasadena is just, it's got a feel to it.
It's like, oh, wow.
This was like some crazy, rich neighborhood.
tim dillon
It has that stately feel of an older, cool neighborhood.
joe rogan
Exactly.
A lot of people drive Mercedes-Benz.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're conservative with their money, but they're quite wealthy.
tim dillon
They pulled the lever for Reagan.
They're liberal at parties, but not when they get in the booth.
They just want to keep that money.
There's a lot of LA people like that.
joe rogan
There's a lot of those people, right?
tim dillon
They're woke in the boardroom, but then when they get in that booth, they pull the lever.
We've got to keep that money.
joe rogan
Closet conservatives.
tim dillon
Big time.
joe rogan
There's one, this one lady came up to my wife and wanted to talk to her about conservatism because she thought that I was conservative for some reason.
And it was like, you know, we're one too.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
We're one of those two.
tim dillon
That's so funny.
joe rogan
Like no one wants to let anybody know.
tim dillon
Yeah, like they're vampires.
You know, it's like half the country is conservative.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I don't know why she assumed that I was.
tim dillon
Well, you talk to anybody.
You talk to people that you disagree with, you agree with, you have people on the show.
joe rogan
It's also the way I look, I think.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's part of it, too.
You don't have black room glasses.
You're not 95 pounds.
You're not afraid of saying hello to someone.
joe rogan
But the whole thing of having two parties...
tim dillon
It's crazy.
And I think it might be ending.
The chaos of the moment necessitates solutions that aren't political.
Political solutions aren't going to work.
You kind of said it when you said pinning blame on everything like that.
The incentivizing of...
Politicizing everything is not going to work.
We just need people that are intelligent.
And I think all the systems, whether it's technology, whether it's health, the solutions are not political.
It's not electoral politics.
It's not elect a senator.
It's not elect some idiot who convinced everybody in Texas to vote for him or people in Long Island, New York to vote for him.
It's finding some of the people you've had on this show, people in that echelon, and putting them in a room and going, how the fuck are we going to figure this out?
It's not guys that convinced people in Virginia that they had their best interests at heart.
I mean, it's just an old system and it needs to be modernized.
joe rogan
That's a really eloquent way of putting it.
You might have a good point there that hopefully people recognize this is not serving them to have these rigid parties on one side and the other side.
Not at all.
Most people are way more nuanced.
tim dillon
And most people don't care.
Most people are not...
A Republican or Democrat when they're out to dinner.
They want to have money.
They want jobs.
We just draw a line and say you have to be this or that.
But especially now, with all these different problems, your solutions are not going to come from the two parties.
joe rogan
It also solidifies what's really important.
Everyone says, well, what's really important is family and love.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
Guess what?
That is really what's really important.
It is.
That's not just rhetoric.
Yeah, that's really important.
And you realize that when the shit hits the fan, like if you're wealthy and trapped in a mansion by yourself and you don't have any friends.
tim dillon
Yes.
joe rogan
Can you imagine?
tim dillon
Yeah, I could.
I'd love to imagine being trapped by myself in a mansion.
Can we arrange that?
joe rogan
How many days a week do you think you'd handle that?
tim dillon
Seven.
joe rogan
What would you do if no one could visit you?
Nobody liked you.
tim dillon
Well, no.
I mean, listen, people are going to like you with a mansion.
That's the benefit of having a mansion.
People like you.
They tend to like you.
unidentified
You think so?
tim dillon
You have to be a real dick to not have friends in a mansion.
joe rogan
Especially if you have parties, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
You have to be a real asshole for people to go, oh, that guy with the mansion?
Fuck him.
Let's go somewhere else.
I get what you mean, though.
I mean, listen, that stuff does...
You know, listen, these are the things that are the, you know...
But not everybody has those luxuries.
Not everybody has that thing, you know?
joe rogan
It's true.
tim dillon
So there's a lot of people that devote their lives, you know, to other things or whatever, and, you know...
unidentified
Yeah.
tim dillon
I feel bad for people that are working at places where they're exposed to this disease and they're getting nothing for it.
So that's what I said earlier.
Like if you're working at a grocery store and it's like you're getting shit money and you're being exposed to this, it's like we should do, as a country, we should do something for you.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's like, hey man, you had a student loan, we're taking care of it.
Or like, hey, you want a good interest rate on a mortgage five years from now, we're doing it for you.
Like, we got to do something for those people.
joe rogan
Right, because if your job used to be stacking apples, now your job is you could die- Stacking apples.
Stacking apples.
tim dillon
There's got to be some way, because we're all depending on those supply chains and those things being opened.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
So if you're putting meat in the package, if you're at Bristol Farms, the store that I love, if you're doing whatever...
joe rogan
Is that your spot?
tim dillon
That's my spot.
I love it there.
It's just great.
It's for new money.
It's for trash.
It's not like Air One, which is for healthy people.
Bristol Farms is for millionaires that want Apple Jacks.
It's like for...
TikTok people, rappers.
joe rogan
I saw a lady in Erwan.
She was dressed up like a hot beekeeper.
tim dillon
Yeah, that's what Erwan's all about.
joe rogan
She was so protected with the goggles and the mask.
tim dillon
Yeah, Bristol Farms is like absurd.
It's like people pull up in Bentleys and get s'mores pie.
They have s'mores pie at Bristol Farms.
It's like you've got to be a real gutter, trash, you know, but those people need some benefit.
So that's what I mean when I say it's a failure of the government.
You can't pin it directly on Trump.
Everyone pins everything directly on Trump.
I don't think he's doing phenomenally, especially in communicating, he's doing what he does.
But I think, look at the system and you go, well, we just passed a $2 trillion bailout.
We're giving people $1,200.
That can't be the solution.
joe rogan
Well, anything he does that's really good gets minimized when he does something stupid.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's hard for people to give him the post about his ratings.
Yeah.
The post about his ratings that it's beat The Bachelor.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
If that's not trolling, if that's not trolling, then it's real.
tim dillon
I don't know if it is trolling.
joe rogan
I don't think it's trolling.
tim dillon
But you can't do that when people are falling down dead.
It's crazy.
You can't do it.
joe rogan
It's a problem.
So anything good that he does, like closing off traffic to China early.
Yes.
And deciding that, hey, listen, this travel to China is not smart.
Back and forth.
We have to stop that.
And people are really upset at him.
That gets diminished by a tweet like that.
tim dillon
I think he wants people to like him.
I think he wants the media in Hollywood to like him.
I think that's what his supporters don't understand.
I think he actually is a creation of Hollywood.
All these people that are like, Hollywood, Trump's taking on Hollywood.
It's like, he's a creation of Hollywood.
This is the guy that loved the Clintons up until he ran against them.
joe rogan
Well, he was the host of a Hollywood television show.
tim dillon
Yeah!
So it's just convenient that he became this crusader against the elites that he spent his entire life around.
He wants these people to like him.
joe rogan
His point was, I know what they actually do.
Because I used to pay them.
tim dillon
100%.
I mean, that was his point that people bought into it.
They're like, oh yeah, this guy's going to fight on our behalf.
I just never believed that about any politician, because I'm an adult.
joe rogan
I think it's complicated, like everything.
You almost need a guy like him today to show that a guy like him can get through.
tim dillon
You know what I'm saying?
joe rogan
To understand the frailty of the system, somebody has to exploit it.
You know how they hire those hackers to test your...
tim dillon
Yes, you can get through.
Or they give a guy a gun at the airport and go, can you get through?
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But I mean, hackers, it's a famous thing that companies will do.
They'll hire hackers to try to break into their software.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
To find out, you know, what are our vulnerabilities?
tim dillon
It's just, this is a weird thing to run a simulation.
This is a weird...
During a pandemic, it might not be the idea to run a simulation with a guy and be like, hey, let's see.
joe rogan
I don't think it's a simulation.
tim dillon
No, I'm kidding.
joe rogan
This guy figured the exploit, but now we know the exploit.
Look, having a popularity contest to see who controls the nukes is crazy.
tim dillon
It's crazy.
joe rogan
Especially because we're frivolous.
And what do we pay more attention to?
The Kardashians.
tim dillon
Who's right?
And I've got to be honest with you, if Kim Kardashian would make a better president than a lot of people, a lot of people in Congress, that's how crazy it's gotten.
That's how crazy it is.
That she's not the worst out there.
joe rogan
She's not the worst?
tim dillon
She's not the worst.
joe rogan
She's not the worst.
tim dillon
She's a businesswoman.
She's smart.
joe rogan
She's working for prison reform.
tim dillon
She's doing things other...
joe rogan
She goes to Trump and helps people get out of jail that are unjustly imprisoned.
tim dillon
That's great.
joe rogan
She has for many, many people right now.
That's pretty cool.
More than 18 people have been released because of Kim Kardashian.
I think it's crazy.
tim dillon
Kim, I'll go with you if you want to go to the White House.
unidentified
Good for you.
tim dillon
I'll tag along.
joe rogan
I want to see you with a MAGA hat on.
tim dillon
I will go there.
Will you wear a MAGA hat?
Yeah, I'll wear any hat.
joe rogan
Do you think that would ruin your Hollywood career?
tim dillon
I don't think I have a Hollywood career.
If I have a Hollywood career, someone let me know.
Someone email me or call if I have a Hollywood career.
joe rogan
You don't want one.
tim dillon
Yeah, my career's in my apartment.
joe rogan
That's better.
tim dillon
I mean, that's the reality.
My career's a microphone.
I get to see what I want.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
I would like a...
I mean, I'd like to be an extra and curb your enthusiasm or something.
I could do something very funny on a show like that.
joe rogan
I guess Larry David had a show where he wore a MAGA hat so people wouldn't talk to him.
tim dillon
That's a great episode, but that's one of the really funny, great shows out there.
joe rogan
Oh, it's a brilliant show.
tim dillon
But there's only a few of those that are really that good, and there's a lot of garbage.
joe rogan
But who is an open Trump fan that's popular, other than Kanye?
tim dillon
Well, there's a lot of guys in sports, right?
Guys like Tom Brady and stuff.
joe rogan
Yes, Tom Brady.
They all catch shit for it.
tim dillon
As far as Hollywood, it's Clint Eastwood.
joe rogan
Oh, is he?
tim dillon
Yeah, I would imagine.
joe rogan
I think he's said things.
tim dillon
Yeah, I don't know.
But he's known for being a Republican.
joe rogan
Remember Clint had that thing where he pretended that Obama was sitting next to him and he had a conversation with him?
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah.
It was a chair, right?
He was talking to an empty chair.
unidentified
What?
tim dillon
I think a lot of studio...
There's probably a lot of...
It's just crazy.
joe rogan
Imagine if you did that and I said, hey, Tim, what'd you do last night?
tim dillon
They'd put me in a hospital.
joe rogan
Well, I went to the Republican convention and they had me stand on the podium and I just pretended that Obama was sitting next to me.
Yeah, I spoke to a chair.
tim dillon
But nobody has the balls to go up to Clint Eastwood and go, let's not do this.
joe rogan
What are you doing?
tim dillon
Let's not do this, Clint.
joe rogan
But what kind of a ridiculous proposition is that?
To pretend to have a conversation with someone, and then you make up their answers?
tim dillon
Just like it was the same reason that Gal Gadot and all those people were like, let's sing Imagine, and no one said, guys, this is the worst idea ever.
I think Republican operatives put them up to that.
If I was a Republican operative, I'd call Gail Godot and I'm like, why don't you get a bunch of people to sing Imagine.
Just walk by her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what we need right now.
joe rogan
Just get it in their head.
tim dillon
There's a lot of celebrities now, like, you can see how out of touch some of them are because they're quarantining in mansions and they're like, just use this time to breathe.
unidentified
Just be.
tim dillon
Just be and just be okay with the silence.
Cook.
Nourish yourself.
I'm like, people are jumping out of windows.
Nobody has any fucking money, you psychopaths.
Just take this time to do yoga, to breathe.
The earth is repairing itself.
I love those people.
The environmentalists were like, the earth is repaired.
The air in Los Angeles is so clear.
I'm like, you're going to clearly see stabbings very soon.
joe rogan
Lex Friedman put out an Instagram post a few days ago explaining how many different viruses are currently in contention right now in a world war.
That is happening inside of all mammals.
tim dillon
I love that you're looking for more terrifying news.
joe rogan
But he was just saying, like, there's wars going on.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Here it is.
Look at this tweet.
There are 320,000 plus distinct viruses in mammals and 100 million plus invertebrates, invertebrates, and plants.
There's an epic microscopic world war going on all around us and inside us.
Nature is beautiful and horrifying.
Sorsa Anthony et al.
Viral diversity in mammals.
It's on Lex Friedman.
L-E-X-F-R-I-D-M-A-N. Lex Friedman.
His Instagram.
Lex, who's been on the podcast a bunch of times, is a genius.
And he's oddly fascinating.
tim dillon
How old is that guy?
He's like a young guy, right?
joe rogan
He's pretty young.
He's in his 30s.
tim dillon
And he's like...
Yeah, he's like...
joe rogan
Fucking genius.
tim dillon
How depressing!
Stop with spending time with viruses.
Enough!
joe rogan
But we need to know.
This is what it is.
unidentified
Do we?
joe rogan
We thought we were okay.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think, I mean, we're going to come out of this...
With a better understanding of the landscape.
tim dillon
100%.
joe rogan
I think that's the only good that I see out of this.
tim dillon
But we need to be silly and fun and stupid, and people need to not every day look at models.
Everyone's like, the new model says the old model.
It's like, dude, unless it's a real...
Like, it's something that we need to do to stay safe.
Don't inundate yourself with coverage.
Unless it's my podcast.
joe rogan
There's a reality of any time there's a disaster.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Is that some people can't keep the shit together.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And you find it...
During disasters and one thing that you do find is that there's going to be people that make too much noise.
Meaning they complain too much and they're freaking out too much and they make the experience bad for other people.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And that's always been a problem with human beings.
It's just we had the world set up so easy that they were never tested before.
Now virtually everyone on the planet is tested.
With a new form of adversity and a new thing that induces anxiety.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
So these are new things.
Yeah.
And we're expecting people that are kind of weak to handle new things.
And when I'm weak, I mean psychologically weak.
There's certain people that they're prone to indulgence.
They want too much attention for their sorrow and their anxiety.
They complain too much.
Of course.
They're annoying to people.
And they exist.
Well, those people are another thing that we have to consider.
tim dillon
Yeah.
joe rogan
That they're dealing with an unprecedented amount of stress.
tim dillon
And we're expecting them to handle it.
Yeah.
But I think it's like people, like, our job is to kind of, if we can make this funny, if we can show that, you know, it is dark, but I make fun of dark stuff, so that's cool.
That's fine.
You know, for me, I just think the challenge here is to just go keep being funny.
Be funny throughout.
unidentified
Yes.
tim dillon
And then when you're able to get back on stage and be funny, you'll be okay.
joe rogan
Have fun.
tim dillon
You'll be okay.
But if you curl up in a ball, or you just give in to the temptation to be all doom and gloom, I'm doom, gloom plus funny.
You can be doom, gloom, and funny.
joe rogan
I don't think we necessarily have to be doom, gloom.
tim dillon
We gotta be realistic.
joe rogan
But even as shit stands right now, with this disease going on, it's still the best time to live, human beings have ever experienced.
tim dillon
Well, until next month with the Great Depression.
joe rogan
You son of a bitch!
tim dillon
It's coming.
But, listen.
joe rogan
What do you think?
tim dillon
You just told me to buy a gun an hour ago.
It's the best time to live.
joe rogan
You definitely should have more than one.
tim dillon
Yeah, I should have more than one.
joe rogan
You should have a couple guns.
Okay, that's a good point.
And boxes of bullets.
tim dillon
Yeah.
It is a, you know.
It's a good time to live, but you need, you know, you need weaponry.
joe rogan
I read about a house party in Bakersfield.
tim dillon
If you rob my apartment, did you hear about this?
Yeah.
joe rogan
People got together, they had a house party in Bakersfield, and someone fired off 94 shots and shot six people.
Imagine 94 shell casings they found.
See if you can find the story.
These are the type of people that are gonna break quarantine.
And these are human beings.
Look, but overall, you have to be impressed with the compliance.
Everybody's basically doing the same thing.
We're just staying at home and going to the grocery store and staying at home.
tim dillon
But then also people are becoming rats.
People are calling the cops.
There's people that are calling the cops on kids walking too close together and shit.
I don't like when people become rats.
Well, Garcetti is offering rewards.
Yeah, I don't like that.
joe rogan
Did you see that?
tim dillon
Yeah, I don't like that.
joe rogan
They're offering rewards.
tim dillon
I think that's a whole other bigger problem.
joe rogan
Are your neighbors hugging you?
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah, dude.
joe rogan
Turn them in.
tim dillon
Dude, I don't like how humanity so easily snaps into just informing on people.
I don't love that.
I think that's something in us that I hate.
joe rogan
I'm real nervous that we're gonna have to have the antibodies in us in order to be able to go places.
tim dillon
Well, that's not gonna work because I don't think a huge percentage of us have had this virus.
joe rogan
No, I don't think it's gonna be like that.
I think they're gonna either have a vaccine or have some sort of antibody that they can give you.
tim dillon
Oh, so you're going to need that plasma transfusion thing?
joe rogan
Yeah, exactly.
tim dillon
I'm not worried.
I think I beat it.
I think I had it.
joe rogan
We're going to find out, bro.
You keep saying this.
You're going to feel like a goof in 23 minutes.
tim dillon
I'm confident because what if I had it?
joe rogan
Okay, I'm going to go congratulations.
tim dillon
What if I beat it?
joe rogan
That's wild.
Well, a few of my friends have beat it.
Like I said, Michael Yeo, my friend Sturgill Simpson, he's got it right now.
His wife doesn't have it, his kids don't have it, and he got it in Europe weeks ago.
Weird.
tim dillon
It's strange, man.
joe rogan
It's weird, man.
It's weird.
tim dillon
I'm very excited to find it.
I hope there's...
If I do have them, I want it to be like a ceremonial...
joe rogan
Imagine a strange virus like that, though, that gets into some people and does nothing and other people devastates them and devastates mostly older people, but occasionally young people.
tim dillon
Well, you know what it is, dude?
If you were to design a bioweapon, like, you know, a psychological weapon, this is psychological.
I don't think it's an effect of bioweapon in the sense that it doesn't kill enough people.
joe rogan
Well, not only that, it kills everybody.
It's going to kill you, too.
It's going to kill your family.
tim dillon
But it's a very effective psychological weapon, because you don't know who it's going to kill.
joe rogan
Well, you could say that.
unidentified
Terrifying.
joe rogan
But you could also say, like, what if you knew that it was coming, so you protected yourself and your loved ones with some medicine that only you knew, and then you release this shit, and you watch it wreak havoc.
And then when the stock market crashes, you start buying up stocks.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you just start speculating.
tim dillon
Yeah.
Well, it's just, again, it comes on the heels in China of some massive protests.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tim dillon
Not only in China, but all around the world.
joe rogan
Do you imagine if one day we find out that they released an artificially created virus to cause a world pandemic so they can get out of some political shit?
tim dillon
That'd be great.
Not great, but it would be amazing.
joe rogan
Imagine if there was a nation that was that evil.
I'm not saying they did.
I'm definitely not saying they did that.
tim dillon
I think it would be almost bigger than a nation.
joe rogan
But I'm saying imagine how crazy that would be if something like that did exist.
tim dillon
Yeah, it could happen.
And I think it would be bigger than a nation.
It would probably be some of the most powerful people ever.
I mean, I think that would be bigger than one nation.
That might be a lot of different people going, listen, man, we just got to...
joe rogan
Look, if you were China and you were evil, I'm not saying China's evil, but if you were, let's just say we're in a movie.
Let's not even call it China.
Let's call it the dark land.
tim dillon
Trump is going to start calling it the dark land very soon.
joe rogan
And they decided to release a virus that kills a gigantic chunk of the population, causes everyone to stay home, causes the market to collapse, and then dive in and start buying up giant chunks of the businesses.
Control these businesses.
tim dillon
It's crazy.
It could absolutely happen.
And we wouldn't know, and you wouldn't be able to prove it, and it would take a while to find out.
Even though China is now suppressing research into the origins of the virus, which is not a good sign, and that doctor disappeared.
joe rogan
Dude, none of these things are good.
tim dillon
None of these are good.
But I'm not worried.
You should be terrified.
joe rogan
Why are you not worried?
tim dillon
Because you've got to be a fatalist at a certain point.
If I'm going to go, I'm going to go.
That's what it is.
You've got to be a fatalist.
At a certain point.
joe rogan
You sound like a cowboy.
tim dillon
Yeah.
I'm very zen.
You just got...
If you're going to go, you're going to go.
You know?
You know what's great?
One of my friends was on a flight, and he was sitting next to somebody, a funny guy, a comedian, Dan St. Germain, and he was sitting there, and he was working on a show, and there's a producer behind him, and he's sitting there, and the plane's really rocky, it's getting really bad, and it's stormy, and he goes, you know, whatever happens, I had a good life, and the woman behind the producer goes, no, you haven't.
It's great!
joe rogan
Oh my god.
unidentified
It's great!
joe rogan
No you haven't.
tim dillon
She goes, no you haven't.
What are you talking about?
joe rogan
Do you know how many people work with someone they hate?
How many people work with someone that they think is really fucking annoying and they just can't?
tim dillon
A lot of people.
joe rogan
It's a lot of people.
tim dillon
There's no choice.
You gotta do it.
You gotta show it.
Now you work with somebody you hate and they're coughing.
Imagine that.
Now your co-worker's coughing.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
tim dillon
And you're like, I think Cynthia's got the bug.
That dry cough.
Dude.
It's got to be terrifying to hear that next to you.
You're working and all you hear is, that's got to be crazy.
joe rogan
You'd be so angry.
tim dillon
You'd be mad.
joe rogan
Why didn't she get more sleep?
tim dillon
Yeah.
Why didn't she take vitamin C? Yeah, no one's thinking like that, but they're wrong.
I love how he thinks everyone's so healthy.
joe rogan
Why didn't you wash your hands?
tim dillon
Yeah, why didn't she go to the sauna?
No, everyone's like, fuck that bitch.
Why didn't she wash her hands?
I'm glad she's dead.
unidentified
I'm getting out of here before I start coughing.
tim dillon
You know, it's tough.
joe rogan
The idea that you could take a bunch of people in a workplace, 20 people, and you just make them become friends.
unidentified
It's crazy.
joe rogan
They have to work together every day.
If you're in an office of 20 people and you see insane people every day, they have to be your friends.
tim dillon
Well, that's what all those elite fraternities like Skull and Bones and shit, the challenge of them is you take 20 people you think are going to be leaders and they don't know each other at all, and you force them to have this lifelong bond.
How do you do that?
You do it by like making them do embarrassing shit in front of each other.
That's the whole thing of like why those institutions exist, like Harvard and Yale, all those places that are just take very successful people that have potential to be future leaders and be influential people and like mold them together and force them to create very close bonds.
That's what all those secret societies and fraternities, that's what all that stuff's about.
So it's very interesting.
That's what elite power circles have done forever.
That's the whole point of any of those things is to just create bonds between people that have no idea that each other existed before they wake up next to each other in coffins or whatever.
joe rogan
Well, the thing that people are always talking about when it comes to conspiracy theories about depopulation of the planet.
It's always like the elites are going to depopulate the planet, and they're going to kill 50% of the population, and then they're going to take over and control things.
And it sounds ridiculous.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
It sounds ridiculous.
tim dillon
Until they have their robots.
joe rogan
Or you have a virus.
unidentified
Right.
tim dillon
Because they don't have the robots yet.
They still need us to pick berries and shit.
When they have the robots, all bets are off.
Once AI advances to that level, once you see the self-driving cars and all that stuff, once you walk into a bank and a robot's like, hello, Mr. Rogan, then you're like, oh yeah, we're going soon.
They're gonna start stuffing bats and chickens.
joe rogan
I think we might not get to that.
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
I think if this symbolizes the new normal and then this is like where we're gonna realize that these things are around us and there are hundreds and millions of them and they're constantly morphing and evolving.
tim dillon
But then you just live in terror.
joe rogan
Yeah, but maybe that's just what the future is.
Maybe we live like mice.
You know?
tim dillon
That's not even a life, though.
Terror.
But that's not a life.
joe rogan
There's a lot of rats.
tim dillon
That's not a life.
joe rogan
Did you see that thing that I sent you about rats in New York?
tim dillon
Yeah, I woke up to it.
I woke up, he texted me like, he texted me, there are rat wars in New York.
I looked outside, it was beautiful.
I'm like, fuck New York.
Fuck those people.
Fuck those comedy purists over there in New York.
Now they're living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape where rats are fighting each other.
unidentified
Are they comedy purists?
tim dillon
Well, when I say go do this guy's podcast, they go, I wouldn't do a YouTuber's podcast.
I'm like, you're an idiot.
Some of those people are stupid.
joe rogan
Oh, so they think they just want to do stand-up.
tim dillon
Yeah, yeah, those people.
So I'm like, you know, not all of them.
Listen, the funniest people in the world, you know, were from the East Coast.
Are from the East Coast.
But, you know, sometimes you can be a little short-sighted.
joe rogan
Well, I think there's some...
The thing about podcasts is there's so many of them.
So you go, well, what is a podcast?
Is it like this really horrible one that I don't want to listen to?
Or is it like, you know, fucking some really interesting, well-produced wandery show?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, what is it?
What is a podcast?
tim dillon
How is it?
joe rogan
How is it what I do and also what Dan Carlin does?
How the fuck are those the same things?
They're not really.
tim dillon
They're not.
But what's interesting is you've always made this point about comedy.
You've said comedy is so many different things, right?
That's why you have Nanette and then you have whatever else.
joe rogan
Sam Tripoli.
tim dillon
Yeah, you have the full spectrum.
They look similar.
They wear the same clothes.
Very much so.
So that's the whole thing.
So I think with podcasting, it's not even a thing.
It's just a platform.
It's a technology that allows everybody to do whatever they want.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's like having an Instagram page.
My Instagram page is very different than Delia's, which is very different than Kyle Dunnigan's.
It's like everybody's got a different thing that they're doing with it.
And what a podcast allows you to do, it allows you to do a show or a thing without having anybody else tell you what to do.
tim dillon
Right.
That's exactly it.
joe rogan
Think about what you're doing.
Who the fuck would ever tell you that's a good thing to do?
tim dillon
No one would ever tell me anything I've done is a good thing to do my whole life.
No one would have ever looked at anything I've said and said, no, do that.
That's a great investment, that house.
joe rogan
Especially a podcast, though, right?
What do you want to do?
Do you plan this out?
tim dillon
Yeah, no, I just rant.
I just go.
I just go about things I care about.
They'd go, get out of here.
Go get out of here.
That's psychotic people.
joe rogan
I can't bring this to the producers.
tim dillon
Yeah, they're like, this is not gonna work.
This is what people in mental institutions do.
joe rogan
You think I'm gonna bring that to network?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's your idea.
How are you gonna talk?
tim dillon
How are we gonna sell that to Quibi?
That thing's about to go bye-bye-bye.
Well, listen, it's a mobile streaming app that they launched during a pandemic when most people are watching TV on their couch going, yeah, I'm not commuting anymore.
joe rogan
It's a good time for some things, though.
tim dillon
Yeah, not that thing.
joe rogan
But what if it's got a big audience right out of the gate with some high-profile guests?
tim dillon
Yeah, I'm sure the 30 million unemployed people are going to be there tomorrow to keep buying it.
They're in a little bit of trouble.
And I don't have the facts to back that up, and I don't have the stock certs, but I'm telling you right now, if I were them, I'd start preparing alternate strategies.
joe rogan
What's an alternate strategy?
tim dillon
You know, it's backed by big people.
Meg Whitman, who ran eBay, and Jeffrey Katzenberg ran DreamWorks.
joe rogan
They advertise on the podcast.
tim dillon
And they're brilliant people, and I love them.
They're friends of mine.
I hang out at their house.
I'm best friends with both of them.
joe rogan
Really?
tim dillon
But when I watched the Quibi launch thing, they spent a lot of that thing talking about how the movie looks different if you hold it like this and you hold it like that.
Because the picture switches when you go like this and like that.
And I'm like, if that's...
50% of the reason I need to have your thing, we're in deep trouble.
Deep, deep trouble.
I mean it's just, you know, edit that all out.
The point is...
But you know what I mean?
It's like, you know, it would have been a great idea in a world where everybody's maybe commuting all the time.
This world, even when we come back, dude, a lot of people are going to be staying at home.
A lot of companies are going to go, you're non-essential.
We don't need you in the office.
Yes.
You can stay home.
joe rogan
No, I think for sure.
tim dillon
Meetings are happening now.
joe rogan
But isn't it weird that it's like really good for some things like Netflix?
tim dillon
Great.
Great for that.
Great for podcasts.
joe rogan
Great for what else?
tim dillon
Terrible for sports.
Terrible for live entertainment.
Terrible for anything, festivals and concerts and things like that.
Live events.
Live podcast.
Kill Tony is the biggest live podcast in the world.
joe rogan
Can't do it.
tim dillon
It's hard for that.
Things like that.
But what it is good for is for streaming services, for content, for online podcasts, things like that.
Probably for these networks and apps that allow you to communicate with a lot of people at once.
Things like Zoom.
These things are going to be big.
joe rogan
Probably too big for Zoom.
That was the problem.
There's probably going to be some things that go by the wayside because of this.
This might kill movie theaters.
tim dillon
This is good.
Well, I read an article about AMC that said that they may not reopen.
They've been downgraded from, like, bad to, like, fucked.
joe rogan
Yeah, I read that, too.
tim dillon
Yeah, so they're in trouble.
joe rogan
But it's also, a lot of people would like to just be able to get the movies at home.
tim dillon
Yeah, no one cares.
joe rogan
And the way they're doing it with Apple, it's kind of forced their hands.
So Apple's got, like, on iMovie, or what is it, iHome, iTV?
tim dillon
What is it, Apple TV? But they're living in a horror show.
So when they try to watch a movie, it's like someone's giving birth in the next room.
So the problem is some people go to the movie theater as an escape.
unidentified
Right.
tim dillon
So the reality is, depending on how much, you know, it's like you're sitting on the couch, your grandmother's dying of Corona.
You're like, I'm trying to watch a film here and this bitch is hacking her lung up in my house.
So some people need those things.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
tim dillon
There'll be a movie.
I think something will come back, dude.
Or it'll be some hipster bullshit thing that it'll go away for a few years and they'll bring it back.
Like, remember this?
joe rogan
Well, those are the cool ones.
When you go to a town, you have like a local movie theater.
tim dillon
With the real butter on the popcorn and shit.
joe rogan
I was in Bozeman, Montana.
We saw Back to the Future.
tim dillon
Oh, that's great.
joe rogan
Back to the Future in the movie theater.
So I was like, this is amazing.
tim dillon
And it's like one of those, but the seats suck, right?
joe rogan
No, they were good.
unidentified
Okay.
Drive-ins could come back.
tim dillon
People have been, like, postulating that.
unidentified
Oh, good call, Jamie.
tim dillon
The drive-in comes back.
Good call.
joe rogan
A lot of hand jobs.
tim dillon
1950s drive-in.
joe rogan
How many people got jerked off at a drive-in?
unidentified
A lot.
joe rogan
That's a number that's, like, almost uncountable.
tim dillon
It's crazy.
joe rogan
Like, 80% of the people were getting jerked off at drive-ins.
If they saw a movie there, they got jerked off 80% of the time.
tim dillon
That's so funny.
It's so funny now how violent movies are, getting jerked off to just a violent film, you know?
Just a horrific, just 12 years a slave and you're getting jerked off.
It's like, God, this is rough.
joe rogan
Gotta do what you gotta do.
tim dillon
That's the way it is.
Just gotta do it.
I'm cautiously optimistic.
joe rogan
I'm curious.
I'm curious how this is going to go down.
tim dillon
I think you made a good point.
It makes me think about health differently and the necessity of really trying to take care of myself better because you want to be able to fight these things off.
joe rogan
Think about it like the three little pigs.
You don't want a house made of straw.
tim dillon
Thank you very much.
joe rogan
You don't want a house made of sticks.
You want a house made of bricks.
tim dillon
That's a good point.
I've never read that.
Is that what it is?
joe rogan
Yes.
The Three Little Pigs.
The wolf blows the house down.
Yes!
tim dillon
Okay, now I remember.
joe rogan
So what it is, is the idea to protect yourself from a wolf, bitch.
Make a real fucking house.
tim dillon
But if I have those antibodies, it means that I got bricks.
joe rogan
Maybe.
tim dillon
And that's crazy.
joe rogan
Maybe it comes back.
We don't know what this fucking thing is.
tim dillon
We don't know.
We don't even know if it's real.
It's probably not real.
joe rogan
It's 5G. You know they're burning 5G towers, these fucking morons.
tim dillon
What is 5G? I don't even know what 5G is.
I gotta be honest with you.
joe rogan
It's a higher speed internet.
It's a new bandwidth.
tim dillon
You don't think there could be some issues with that?
joe rogan
There could be.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But it's a new thing.
So when you have video files that you have to download, they download like...
I think I'm flying in, man.
tim dillon
I just know that everything is one conspiracy now.
It's Knights Templar and 5G. And I'm like, guys, wait a minute.
joe rogan
My phone has 5G. I never used it once.
I have a Galaxy Note that has 5G. I've never gotten the 5G once.
tim dillon
I have Sprint.
I don't even have any of the Gs.
It's the most embarrassing service.
Sprint is for people who have no control over their own life.
joe rogan
Is that true?
tim dillon
It's a bad service.
It's not good.
Verizon and AT&T are for legit people.
joe rogan
AT&T's sketchy.
It's not for people who like to talk on the phone.
The good thing about AT&T is you can pretend your signal sucks.
You can be like, I'm on AT&T, sorry.
tim dillon
Be like, I gotta go, yeah.
joe rogan
Verizon seems to be able to hold more calls.
tim dillon
Verizon's the one that everyone has.
joe rogan
But the fact that there's dead spots anywhere in 2020, fuck.
In China, you could be on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and you get five bars.
Those motherfuckers are wired.
tim dillon
I know, but 21 million people lost those cell phones on the mountain.
They lost those phones.
joe rogan
Goodbye.
Well, tell them what it is.
It's 21 million cell phone subscribers.
tim dillon
They're no longer online.
Cell phones are a way to track people in China, so the government loves people having them.
So the idea that 21 million disappeared might suggest that the death toll is higher.
joe rogan
Or the other option was they were saying what it also could be would be that a lot of people had two lines and then when the pandemic hit, they'd lost the ability to hold two lines and didn't have the money for it anymore so they cancelled one of the lines.
tim dillon
It also feels like there's a group of people that are trying to push the war with China narrative.
You start to feel that.
You start to feel people are like, hey, they're the enemy, let's fight them.
And it's like, they probably are the enemy, but do we need a war now?
joe rogan
Of course we don't need a war, but we don't need a war with China.
tim dillon
We don't need a war with China right now.
joe rogan
That's a real war.
tim dillon
Yeah, let's just take a break.
joe rogan
Yeah, a war with China is not like a war with Afghanistan.
tim dillon
No, that's a serious war.
joe rogan
That's a real war.
tim dillon
Yeah, we don't need that.
joe rogan
With an army that's huge and super powerful and has nuclear weapons.
And let's just pretend they did light those people on fire that were sick.
unidentified
Hey!
joe rogan
If they did, imagine what they'll do to you.
tim dillon
Everybody makes mistakes.
joe rogan
Imagine what they'll do to you if they eat dogs.
tim dillon
If I was in a closed-door meeting and they said, we torched 20 million of our people, I'd go, hey, this is the way you do it.
joe rogan
Do you really want to fuck with people who eat bats?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I don't think you do.
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
I think you're dealing with a billion of them, too.
tim dillon
Let's just let them do their thing.
Let's do our thing.
We don't need a war.
I don't need to go there and eat a bat.
joe rogan
Well, it's also, they're already imprisoned by their government.
We're not against Chinese people.
tim dillon
No.
joe rogan
No one is.
And I'm not even saying I'm against the Chinese government.
I'm saying that the Chinese government is for sure a dictatorship.
tim dillon
They're an authoritarian government.
But we don't want to tell people what to do.
We can slide in that direction in America.
joe rogan
I'm just saying what it is.
tim dillon
It is what it is.
joe rogan
That's what it is.
tim dillon
And I think the worry is that people that call that out, which is true, but they also should realize we can slide there.
joe rogan
Yes!
My point has always been that we're human beings just like them and they are doing it that way.
Where they have a dictatorship that tells them what to do in 2020. There's no difference between them and us.
It's just they're in a different part of the world.
tim dillon
Right.
joe rogan
But that could be us.
tim dillon
Could be us.
Gotta be careful.
joe rogan
Yeah.
We gotta be real careful.
tim dillon
Gotta be careful, man.
joe rogan
Giving up our rights.
tim dillon
Especially right now.
joe rogan
Because those rights, they slip away, they chip away.
tim dillon
And then you never get them back.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Right, and you know, Michael Shermer and I were having a conversation about being able to talk to people that you don't agree with and how important that is.
He wrote a book about giving the devil his due, like being able to talk to people that you disagree with.
Well, this all relates to this thing that's going on here.
There's got to be open discourse.
They can't shut down where you go.
They can't shut down what you do.
You have to have freedom.
Because if you don't have freedom, then you can tell me What to do for some strange reason.
You could be a person that decides to tell me what to do.
I don't want that.
That's why we started this country in the first place.
We're going to slide towards safety so hard.
tim dillon
That's why you've got to deal with people's opinions online that you don't like, because they have the right to express them.
That's why I've always been like, people say things all the time, and I'm like, I think that's abhorrent.
But they should have the right to post it on, you know, my aunt should have the right to use her Facebook page.
Even though I think she should be in jail.
joe rogan
The problem is also that people don't want people being influenced by people that are full of shit, like preachers or televangelists or hucksters.
But I'm not getting influenced by them, and you're not either.
So it doesn't work on people that are paying attention.
So we're going to protect people that don't pay attention.
tim dillon
Are we doing that?
joe rogan
We're not protecting young people.
If we're protecting young people, how young?
When I was 21 you couldn't have caught me with that stupid shit.
tim dillon
But here's the other thing.
Those hucksters and preachers will just get better so you can box them out.
They'll just evolve and their messages will get, you know, they'll figure out what the people that are gonna get duped, they're gonna get duped.
joe rogan
They're gonna get duped.
tim dillon
They're gonna get fucked.
joe rogan
That's part of the problem.
tim dillon
I was always gonna buy that house because I'm an idiot.
joe rogan
You were young, too.
tim dillon
I was young and it was fun.
joe rogan
But isn't that a part of what we need to see around us, too?
unidentified
Yes.
tim dillon
You need to see failure.
You can't, as you've said, nerf the world.
You can't make it safe for everybody.
People got to deal with things and learn how to deal with them, get armor, get immunity, end the quarantine, send us back out today.
Gavin Newsom, send us out right now.
I got antibodies, I don't care.
joe rogan
We're gonna find out in three minutes.
Does he come here or do we have to go somewhere?
tim dillon
This is great.
He's just sitting out there with a needle.
Yeah, they're ready.
joe rogan
They're sharpening up their needles and getting out the alcohol pads.
tim dillon
Wow.
This is wild.
joe rogan
Gonna find out what's up.
tim dillon
I'm excited.
joe rogan
I hope I don't have shit.
tim dillon
I bet I don't either.
joe rogan
I bet you never even got a cold.
tim dillon
I bet I don't.
joe rogan
They're gonna test you for being a pussy.
It's green light.
tim dillon
I was sick!
joe rogan
Alright, shall we wrap it up?
tim dillon
Yes, thank you.
joe rogan
Tim Dillon, always a pleasure, bro.
tim dillon
Thank you so much.
joe rogan
Always fun.
Tell everybody your podcast.
tim dillon
The Tim Dillon Show.
It's a fact-free zone.
Come there.
Tim J. Dillon on D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
It's a lot of fun over there.
Thank you, folks.
joe rogan
Thank you.
Thanks, everybody.
Thanks, guys.
Fun.
tim dillon
I hope I get fucking this clean deal of health.
I know I'm not.
unidentified
What?
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