March 31, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:22:46
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Yee-haw! | ||
| How you hanging in there, fella? | ||
| Great, man. | ||
| I think these things are gonna annoy a lot of people. | ||
| If you're listening, we're wearing aluminum foil. | ||
| We're wearing spacesuits. | ||
| God, they're so crunchy. | ||
| There's not many left for me to get. | ||
| This is my favorite one. | ||
| I like the orange one for some strange reason. | ||
| The white one just seems like I'm a clean-up person. | ||
| Like you're doing some NASA clean-up, like there's alien bodies you're trying to get rid of. | ||
| But this feels like we're about to do something special. | ||
| We're protected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just hope it doesn't start making us sweat and we lose like 100 pounds. | ||
| This is the same shit that's on the outside of the lunar module. | ||
| That cheap looking aluminum foil. | ||
| Looks like it was stuck on there with gum. | ||
| Heat shield? | ||
| Yeah, the heat shield. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever that fucking fake stuff is. | ||
| Or The Alien. | ||
| You ever see The Alien? | ||
| Where he had to put that big sheet that was made out of this material at the very end? | ||
| You ever see that movie? | ||
| Was it Predator or Alien? | ||
| No. | ||
| The one with Matt Damon. | ||
| And he's like lost in space. | ||
| The Martian. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, they have these for people that get lost hiking. | ||
| Like their blankets. | ||
| They'll keep you alive. | ||
| You won't be cozy. | ||
| They'll keep you alive. | ||
| They're like these real thin aluminum foil looking blankets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess they just retain heat pretty good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| You know, like you're not getting a good night's sleep, but you might stay alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How are you holding up? | ||
| I'm alright. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, um... | ||
| Look, there's people that got it rough. | ||
| The people that got it rough are, number one, medical workers. | ||
| Anybody, you know, much love to anybody that's working in hospitals right now. | ||
| Doctors, nurses, everybody. | ||
| Interns, everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| People working the desk. | ||
| Goddamn, you guys have it rough. | ||
| You know, those are the people, number one. | ||
| Number two, anybody in the hospitality industry, people serving food, restaurants, bars. | ||
| Grocery store workers. | ||
| Yeah, they have it rough, but they have jobs. | ||
| You know, it's rough, but their jobs are still open. | ||
| The thing that drives me crazy is there's so many restaurants where these people, you know, employed 50, 60 people. | ||
| And, you know, restaurants are hard. | ||
| It's hard to stay open when things are great. | ||
| You know, restaurants are a fucking... | ||
| It's one of the number one businesses that fails. | ||
| Like, what is the... | ||
| See if you can find a statistic, but it's something crazy. | ||
| Like, 70% of all restaurants fail within the first year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because it's just... | |
| Imagine running a restaurant. | ||
| Especially what kind? | ||
| Like, a chicken restaurant? | ||
| Everyone has chicken restaurants. | ||
| Do you remember that great restaurant that was right next to the Ice House? | ||
| We used to go there all the time. | ||
| Yeah, it's gone now. | ||
| God, it was good. | ||
| Oh, it was good. | ||
| And the place that just replaced it just closed down. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| They have a high failure rate, but knowing why can help the prospective owners. | ||
| Around 60% of new restaurants fail within the first year, and nearly 80% shutter before their fifth anniversary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| 80% in five years. | ||
| So if you get a restaurant like Dantana's that's been open since the 60s or something. | ||
| Have you ever eaten at Dantana's, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I haven't. | |
| Have you ever eaten that? | ||
| Where's that? | ||
| You don't know where Dantana's is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| We need to do a dinner at Dantana's. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| A post-store dinner at Dantana's because Dantana's is open. | ||
| The kitchen's open until like midnight. | ||
| It's phenomenal. | ||
| Some of the best Italian food in all of LA. Wow. | ||
| And it's on Santa Monica Boulevard, like on the border of Boys Town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's next to the Troubadour, right? | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Yeah, the Troubadour where I saw Everlast recently and Sturgill. | ||
| Sturgill Simpson played the Troubadour too. | ||
| Troubadour's dope. | ||
| I hope Everlast is doing okay with his daughter. | ||
| His daughter has, you know. | ||
| He's being real smart, staying the fuck away from everybody. | ||
| They're holed up and everybody's healthy. | ||
| Last I spoke to him. | ||
| Yeah, there it is, Dantanis. | ||
| Bro, that place is the shit. | ||
| They have phenomenal pasta. | ||
| They have excellent steaks. | ||
| It's a really good old-school restaurant. | ||
| You go in there, it looks like they haven't done shit to that place since 1970. Everything's perfect. | ||
| Like that. | ||
| That's what it looks like inside. | ||
| I have seen the place. | ||
| Oh, it's amazing. | ||
| Dude, it's so good. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I love that old school Italian look, you know, with the red tablecloth. | ||
| I ate there with Suzanne. | ||
| Suzanne and I went to see Sturgill. | ||
| And then afterwards we ate at Dantana. | ||
| So I was like, dude, I feel like we're real Hollywood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She got holed up, you know, Suzanne from Honey Honey, she got holed up in North Carolina. | ||
| Oh, gosh. | ||
| Yeah, you know, her folks are down there, so she went down there. | ||
| She's holed up. | ||
| I know so many people are holed up. | ||
| Nick Swartzen, he's holed up in Michigan, you know, or Minnesota, rather, where he's from. | ||
| You know, one of them M-words. | ||
| Right. | ||
| One of them cold places. | ||
| Yeah, my friend David from Kiltona, he was stuck in New York, and he got out, like, the day before they just banned it, like, all travel out of New York. | ||
| Right. | ||
| By now, no hanging out with David. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For a little bit. | |
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Give him 14 days. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Can I take your temperature? | ||
| Jamie's got somebody in his building. | ||
| Got an email yesterday. | ||
| I was going to say, they have checkpoints they're showing videos of in Florida blocking people coming in from New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So many people flew down there to bail, and they brought that shit down there. | ||
| Yeah, I was reading an article, I think it was in The Atlantic, about people who are on the Cape, like Cape Cod in Boston, and they're mad that people who own summer houses out there are going to stay in their summer house. | ||
| Like, hey, you fuck, this is where we live. | ||
| Don't bring your cooties over here. | ||
| But they live there too, man. | ||
| They own two houses. | ||
| They still own the house. | ||
| Just if you own two houses, how does that work? | ||
| You know, like, people want their isolation, right? | ||
| Because they live in their town. | ||
| But if somebody bought that house, this is still America. | ||
| That's their fucking house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You don't want a bunch of people coughing around you. | ||
| But they don't want a bunch of people coughing around them either, which is why they went to the Cape in the first place. | ||
| Just everyone's scared. | ||
| Burbank had, like, two cases. | ||
| And then yesterday, a retirement home right next to my house. | ||
| Somebody got it and gave it to, like, 17 people. | ||
| So we just went up with, like... | ||
| A ton in Burbank. | ||
| It just makes me wonder, like, any of those people went to my grocery store. | ||
| Because now I'm thinking about that. | ||
| Now I'm, like, overthinking. | ||
| Like, I got to the overthinking where, like, now I'm thinking about Postmates. | ||
| I Postmates so much. | ||
| What if the driver sneezes on my food? | ||
| Or Amazon box, like, the cardboard box. | ||
| What if the... | ||
| Yeah, you got to think, if you Postmate, that guy's going all over the place. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| And I doubt Postmates is giving them, like, spray and gloves and all that. | ||
| This is like the craziest way to try to stop something from spreading. | ||
| In massive cities where everybody travels, where everybody's connected to everybody, so even when you have everybody on lockdown, it's like you got fingers in the dike trying to hold up the holes in the dam, but water's still squirting through for sure. | ||
| It's not like you open up the whole dam, but you've got to think of all the different people that have to work, just hospital workers. | ||
| Them alone, man, they have to work. | ||
| The other thing I was reading The Atlantic is another... | ||
| I've been reading The Atlantic lately, apparently. | ||
| Another article was they were talking about these doctors that can't even test people. | ||
| They can't use the test on them unless they meet certain criteria. | ||
| And the doctor was like, he said, when these people come, they have a fever, they're coughing, and if they didn't have coronavirus before they got here, they probably do now. | ||
| I was like, oh my god. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And we're not even to the, supposedly, the middle part of all this. | ||
| Yeah, and it's also... | ||
| Whose fault is it? | ||
| Is it anybody's fault? | ||
| It seems like no one has any idea what's going on. | ||
| And to blame anybody. | ||
| Definitely bad decisions were made. | ||
| Whoever ate that first bat, Ozzy, whoever did it. | ||
| I've been eating bats for a long time, man. | ||
| They're just like the Bee Gees down there trying to stay alive. | ||
| I was reading the article about they said the lady who was patient zero that got it first, she thinks she got it from being in a stall next to it somehow. | ||
| She didn't say she ate like a bat, but she was in that market and she was selling something else in there and being near it. | ||
| Oh man, she was breathing bat air all day. | ||
| 20 other people got up to a rounder or something. | ||
| That's what the explanation I read yesterday was. | ||
| I don't know how true that was, but that's what it was. | ||
| Is there any reason for a bat to be a species still? | ||
| Can't we just wipe out bats? | ||
| Well, they were talking about doing that with mosquitoes. | ||
| But when you play God with an ecosystem, you don't know what the unintended consequences are. | ||
| There's some good examples of that. | ||
| You can't just do that. | ||
| Even bringing a new species to a place where it seems like the species is going to be fine has disastrous results. | ||
| Most of the time. | ||
| If it's not a part of the system, like, it's weird, man. | ||
| Like, systems, they exist in nature, and there's, like, all these strengths and weaknesses that balance each other out. | ||
| These animals that eat other animals, and those animals eat certain plants, and those certain plants, and they shit those plants out, and it helps fertilize other plants, and they got it down. | ||
| They know what they're doing. | ||
| And you throw a buffalo into that, and everybody's like... | ||
| And everything gets fucked up. | ||
| I mean, that's what happened to Australia. | ||
| You know, Australia and New Zealand are both crazy examples of that. | ||
| Australia in particular, because so many people live there. | ||
| I mean, almost as many people as live in L.A. live in Australia, which doesn't seem like a lot. | ||
| Isn't Australia like they're not letting anyone leave? | ||
| Yeah, I think they gotta... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| I thought I read that. | ||
| They were locked down. | ||
| They probably should. | ||
| But anyway, Australia has wild cats, like house cats, that they put out to kill some other thing, that they put out to live over. | ||
| They did a bunch of stupid shit like that. | ||
| Like they have all these animals just roaming around. | ||
| They have to kill them. | ||
| They have to chase them down and kill them. | ||
| All these deer and all these different stags and these different animals. | ||
| Sometimes they have to do it with helicopters. | ||
| They fly over and just gun them down because they don't have any predators. | ||
| So these things just get to these preposterous proportions. | ||
| Look at Japanese beetles. | ||
| You know, they came from Japan and they fuck up our country, what, every seven years? | ||
| They come in town and just... | ||
| Do you guys ever have beetles in L.A.? I don't know, like, where you have to get those beetle bags. | ||
| Well, they get those bark beetles that fucked up Big Bear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know those bark beetles? | ||
| They kill all the trees. | ||
| Yeah, they kill a certain large number of those trees. | ||
| And because we're scared of fire, for good reasons, we never let fires happen. | ||
| So those trees in nature, they're supposed to burn down. | ||
| And everything's supposed to recover and the burn actually helps the trees grow. | ||
| Again, it's a system that's been in place for a million years. | ||
| But we're like, we're better than this. | ||
| We're smarter. | ||
| We know what we're going to do. | ||
| We're just going to... | ||
| Ah, some beetles got over there on a boat. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| Some plants got in someone's boot. | ||
| The seeds were in the cracks of someone's boot and wound up in the forest. | ||
| And this new invasive species crops up and chokes off all the native plants. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| What's that stuff that's in the South we talked about at one time? | ||
| It covers everything. | ||
| Some crazy growth that I believe it's from Asia originally, and it made it down. | ||
| Someone was explaining it to me, and I remember I was blown away because I'd never heard about it. | ||
| It's like a mold? | ||
| No, it's like a vine that covers everything. | ||
| It's like trees that cover other trees. | ||
| They choke out all the life. | ||
| They take away all the oxygen and sun. | ||
| Not ivory. | ||
| Oxygen. | ||
| Trees don't even breathe oxygen. | ||
| What am I talking about? | ||
| Kudzu. | ||
| Yeah, that's the stuff. | ||
| Pull up a picture of that shit. | ||
| It takes over a whole forest. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| I never even heard about it until like three or four years ago. | ||
| Someone on the podcast brought it up and I was like, what? | ||
| I wonder if I've seen it before. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, that stuff just takes over. | |
| Oh, so it's growing over trees. | ||
| It grows over everything. | ||
| Wow, that looks like ghosts. | ||
| Yeah, it's like an alien thing that decides it's gonna like overcome everything in its environment and completely take over other trees. | ||
| At least it looks okay. | ||
| It looks dope. | ||
| It looks dope. | ||
| But it's weird, dude. | ||
| Things like that are weird. | ||
| Because if that was an animal doing that to other animals, we'd be freaked out. | ||
| If we let these rats loose and the rats were chasing down people's cows and killing all these people's cows, we'd be like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| Oh, these rats just live around cows and consume them. | ||
| But we see trees getting consumed. | ||
| Like, if you've never seen these photos, the stuff's spelled K-U-D-Z-U. And it's, that was, was that in the Mississippi? | ||
| Was that where the photo was from, that last photo? | ||
| Yeah, I think so, yeah. | ||
| Somewhere in the south. | ||
| And I don't know when this shit, see if you could find the history, when it was introduced. | ||
| Oh, it's in Portland, Oregon, too. | ||
| That name sounds like it came from Asia. | ||
| Like, Caduceus. | ||
| Japanese. | ||
| Japanese. | ||
| Goddamn you and you Beatles. | ||
| When was it brought over here? | ||
| That stuff is just dominating wherever it is. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Especially when something like this is going on, like we're dealing with coronavirus, and you stop and think about the things that get. | ||
| 1876, Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia. | ||
| That's when Kuzu was introduced from Japan and the United States at the Japanese Pavilion. | ||
| 1876. So from 1876, that shit took the fuck off. | ||
| Is there anything you could do, like eat it or cook it or smoke it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| That picture that Jamie had, the last picture about Portland, was talking about an eradication. | ||
| They're trying to eradicate it. | ||
| But how do you eradicate all that stuff? | ||
| There's so much of it. | ||
| They used it as camo to cover up tanks in World War II. That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, you'd hide in that stuff. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| You'd never be able to see what the fuck anything is. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can kind of eat it. | ||
| It says it contains a starch and the flour is going to be made into a jelly. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It's been used as a food ingredient in East Asia, in Vietnam, the starch called, say that, bhat sonday? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Bhat sonday. | ||
| Bhat sonday. | ||
| It's flavored with pomelo and then used as a drink in the summer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| But it's a life form that's killing another life form, taking over massive swaths of land. | ||
| And it makes me think about this coronavirus. | ||
| You know, that's another different... | ||
| I mean, it's not a life form. | ||
| It's a virus, technically. | ||
| But it's obviously a thing that grows and wants life and kills and consumes bodies and takes over. | ||
| And it's so easy to pass, I guess. | ||
| People are talking about how if you let somebody pet your dog, like if you're walking your dog and somebody goes, oh no, and pets your dog. | ||
| And it stays on the dog. | ||
| And then it's on your dog. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Or like these jewels. | ||
| You put your jewel down on a table, you don't even think about it, and then you put it right in your mouth. | ||
| You called it a dirty straw the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| You're just holding a dirty straw. | ||
| You have that dirty straw in your pocket all the time. | ||
| It's always rubbing up against your lint and your gum. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, luckily these things, the ends are replaceable, so you're kind of... | ||
| Just throw it away every five minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just have a giant gym bag of them. | ||
| My girlfriend just got one of those phone cleaners where you put your phone in and it has the UV lights. | ||
| So now I'm putting everything in. | ||
| I'm putting jewels, car keys. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| I had heard about those before. | ||
| I didn't know there was a thing that I found out about called a SteriStick. | ||
| And they use it when they go backcountry hiking and stuff and camping. | ||
| And it purifies water with a stick. | ||
| Like it's an electrolyte band. | ||
| And you stick it in... | ||
| It's UV light, and you stick it into this... | ||
| It's like a straw-looking thing. | ||
| A life straw. | ||
| Yeah, like a lightsaber. | ||
| Remember those kids' lightsabers? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what it looks like, with a clear on the outside, and you just spit. | ||
| See if you can find one of those fucking things. | ||
| I wouldn't trust that. | ||
| Apparently, the light kills all the bacteria, but it doesn't filter the taste. | ||
| It still tastes like donkey piss. | ||
| Yeah, you still get little grits of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, if you get lucky, you get a clean stream, you just run that through it and it doesn't alter the taste of the water, which is nice. | ||
| I don't know how it's working. | ||
| Yeah, there's other ones, the life straws, where you can just sit there and drink urine through a straw and it cleans it out. | ||
| Now, I would trust that more than just a light. | ||
| Well, those get clogged up, man. | ||
| And sometimes they leak. | ||
| Sometimes people get giardia from those filters. | ||
| They don't clean them good enough. | ||
| And they get clogged up with poo, which is what giardia is. | ||
| You're basically getting a disease that comes out of gopher shit. | ||
| They call it beaver fever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if this corona is going to kill joint circles because now that seems insane. | ||
| Just go out in the back of the commie store with 20 dirty comics. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| So that fucking thing, that little lightsaber thing, Steri-Stick, that can... | ||
| What does it say as far as how quick it does it? | ||
| This is an article about this first straw like this. | ||
| SteriPen, a small pen-like electronic device that emits an ultraviolet light and purifies either half a liter or one full liter of water at a time. | ||
| The device operates on batteries and works with clean water by killing the DNA of harmful microbes and bacteria. | ||
| What? | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| I wonder how long it takes, though, because I know the phone cleaner takes like 10 minutes. | ||
| One minute later? | ||
| That doesn't seem right. | ||
| So, once the water's safe to drink, about one minute later, the light turns off and flashes green. | ||
| One minute? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I wonder if they tested it. | ||
| They should test it. | ||
| Yeah, you drink it, bitch. | ||
| I remember there was this one executive, and he was talking about how safe glyphosate is. | ||
| That's Roundup. | ||
| That stuff that they're now proving causes cancer. | ||
| Proving. | ||
| And lawsuits have been settled. | ||
| And, you know, it's not good for you to consume. | ||
| And this guy had a glass of it. | ||
| And he's like, you could drink it. | ||
| And so the guy's like, go ahead, drink it. | ||
| He wouldn't drink it. | ||
| He's like, you can drink it. | ||
| He brought a glass of it. | ||
| Like, bitch, drink it. | ||
| Did you see the guy that they just arrested for selling the coronavirus pill that supposedly kills the coronavirus? | ||
| He reminds me of that old bodybuilding guy. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Dan or whatever that used to sell fake... | ||
| Oh, one of the back of the book guys? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you look at this guy, he looks like insane. | ||
| Well, there was some preachers that were selling it. | ||
| Like Jim Baker was selling a coronavirus cure. | ||
| They straight up arrested this guy, though. | ||
| He looks like a meathead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They say there's nothing... | ||
| With the chloroquine, there's no studies, right? | ||
| There's no definitive tests, but they're still letting people try it. | ||
| Is that what's going on with that? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| The couple that died took the wrong shit. | ||
| Yeah, they took poison. | ||
| Yeah, cleaner. | ||
| They took algae or bacteria killer. | ||
| It's for fucking koi ponds. | ||
| It's poison. | ||
| They took poison. | ||
| They died from taking poison. | ||
| They misread or misunderstood or something. | ||
| Dude, the media today is kind of spooky with their hatred of Trump is getting in the way of the accuracy of some people's reporting of the news. | ||
| And that's a perfect example. | ||
| By resorting to clickbait and saying that they heard it from Trump. | ||
| That's not what he said. | ||
| What he's talking about is a different kind of chloroquine. | ||
| There's more than one different kind of it, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if they just said, real simply, That these people died. | ||
| Please be careful. | ||
| There is more than one different kind of chloroquine and chloroquine hasn't been shown definitively to work yet. | ||
| And it's not necessarily safe to take. | ||
| If they said that, that would be great. | ||
| But instead they had to say the president told people to take it. | ||
| But that's not what he said. | ||
| What he said is that there's hope and we're hoping that this could be a cure or this could be a treatment. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| But that's what everybody's saying. | ||
| Like, if you go and read articles about that when doctors are talking about potential treatments, there's a bunch of different ones. | ||
| There's IV vitamin C. There's chloroquine. | ||
| So it's this chloroquine, which is like an old-school malaria medication, and then Z-Pax. | ||
| They're talking about, what is that called? | ||
| Zethromythosin? | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But that antibiotic, they're saying that that may have some effect, but these are may. | ||
| That's what they're saying. | ||
| It's people who are scrambling for an answer, who are trying to help people, not sure if this is definitely going to work or not going to work, but it shows some promise. | ||
| That's what Trump talked about. | ||
| Like, you can't give him a hard time for talking about what doctors are talking about. | ||
| Because legitimate people are talking about that combination of things. | ||
| Just because you hate Trump, you can't distort this and make it seem like Trump did something irresponsible by talking about this hopeful disease medication, and these people took the wrong version of it and died. | ||
| Like, that's a cautionary tale. | ||
| It's not a chance to shit on Trump. | ||
| But everything's a chance to shit on Trump. | ||
| It's so exhausting. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's fucking weird, man. | ||
| Well, have you seen his ratings? | ||
| It's silly. | ||
| He's silly. | ||
| There's no doubt he does silly shit. | ||
| But he's gotten a lot better at handling confrontational conversations with reporters. | ||
| You know, I was watching this one yesterday and this reporter was... | ||
| Asking him questions. | ||
| She asked him about a few things, but she asked about people dying because of the economy failing. | ||
| And him talking about, like, is there anyone that could speak to this, she says. | ||
| She's playing a game, right? | ||
| The game is she knows there's no real data that shows if they do that, this will happen. | ||
| If the economy crashes the way they anticipated crashing and all these people are out of work for an extended period of time, X amount of people will kill themselves. | ||
| But we for sure know that economic despair is a reason why some people go into depression. | ||
| Depression is a reason why some people kill themselves. | ||
| These are all facts that we all know. | ||
| Like maybe you can't pull that out of your ass when you're standing in front of a podium and you're addressing people and they're calling you out on this. | ||
| And what she was saying correctly is we can't put money ahead of people's lives. | ||
| So the correct thing, by most people's account, is for at least some period of time, separating everybody, maintaining this distance, and putting a stop to the number of viruses or the number of people that get infected. | ||
| But what he's saying is, there's also a factor that we have to consider. | ||
| That all these people at a war could lead to suicide. | ||
| It could lead to drug addiction. | ||
| And he's right. | ||
| And you know he's right. | ||
| We all know he's right. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| That's irrefutable. | ||
| When people's lives fall apart through the unexpected circumstances, some people are hanging on by a fucking thread. | ||
| And that comes along and it does them in. | ||
| That does happen to people. | ||
| We all know that to be true. | ||
| Just because you hate Trump, you can't pretend that this isn't going to be rough for people. | ||
| Or you can't pretend that him saying That this can cause a loss of life too. | ||
| I think the problem might have been he might have said maybe more life. | ||
| There's no evidence of that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| There's no evidence that it might cause more loss of life. | ||
| I think also we grew up always listening at a stressful time. | ||
| When the president came on, you felt comforted. | ||
| Like his tone of voice, how he acted, you always kind of felt safer. | ||
| And I think when it comes to Trump, you're just like, hey, hey, fuck you, you know, and this kind of shit. | ||
| Get out of here! | ||
| That's the worst Trump impression ever. | ||
| AA, fuck you. | ||
| He does kind of remind me of like, you know, like a New York or a New Jersey guy. | ||
| Like, you know, get this, you know, cocksucker. | ||
| Well, I mean, he kind of is. | ||
| He's a New York real estate mogul. | ||
| You know, you have to have a certain amount of that to thrive in New York City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
New York people are a unique breed. | |
| Bro, who got hit harder than them? | ||
| They've already lost more than a thousand people as of this morning. | ||
| That place has got it bad because they're all stacked on top of each other. | ||
| It's one of the things, unfortunately, that makes New York awesome. | ||
| New York, you're just immersed. | ||
| You're immersed in people. | ||
| You know, you walk down the street in New York and people are everywhere, man. | ||
| They're coming at you. | ||
| You're coming at them. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's a different kind of way of living. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| All the people that love it. | ||
| My friend Jeff, he's lived there forever since I met him. | ||
| He's my manager. | ||
| And he fucking loves it. | ||
| Loves New York. | ||
| Just loves it. | ||
| Loves knowing all the good spots. | ||
| Loves knowing how to get around the subway. | ||
| He doesn't even need a... | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| I go there, I'm like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I just, I just go and I go, wah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Let me jump off that ride. | ||
| That's how I feel about New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| But it's great. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And I get it that you would want to live there. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Especially like creative types. | ||
| But Judah Friedlander was telling us, it's like all bankers now. | ||
| He goes, it's so fucking expensive to live in Manhattan. | ||
| It's not like this, you know, this giant artist community anymore. | ||
| He goes, everybody's sort of been pushed out to Brooklyn and pushed out to the other boroughs. | ||
| It's so expensive. | ||
| I looked up somebody, like a celebrity, accidentally put out his address the other day, and I was like, oh, I want to know what he lives, you know. | ||
| He lives in that little two-bedroom apartment, $3.7 million, and I was just like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so crazy! | |
| Bro. | ||
| Yeah, he's been blogging from it, and it just looks like a basic apartment. | ||
| 40 minutes out of Nashville, 2.7, 3.7, is that what you said? | ||
| How much? | ||
| 3.7. | ||
| 3.7 million dollars will buy you a goddamn farm. | ||
| You could have a giant ass farm with like 400 acres of land and a beautiful house with a view. | ||
| Maybe have a creek in your backyard. | ||
| That's what you get for 3.7 million dollars. | ||
| You're not supposed to get a fucking apartment? | ||
| No. | ||
| A basic apartment. | ||
| It's in that Chelsea district. | ||
| Is that a good spot? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I don't know anything about New York. | ||
| Yeah, I know that one spot that was really good that everybody's trying to convince me I should move to, flooded. | ||
| What's that one spot down on the base of New York? | ||
| What's that one place where they all love it? | ||
| Financial district down there? | ||
| Yeah, but there's an area down there that's like real ritzy. | ||
| Meatpacking district? | ||
| Yeah, but they don't call it that. | ||
| It's got another name. | ||
| Hell's Kitchen? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Okay, I don't know. | ||
| You sure it's not Chelsea? | ||
| No, it's not that. | ||
| I know people in New York are screaming right now. | ||
| I'll remember later. | ||
| But it flooded. | ||
| Like real bad. | ||
| Like my friend's elevator had seven feet of water in it. | ||
| Yeah, like your lobby. | ||
| You go into the lobby. | ||
| It was filled with water. | ||
| It starts with a T? God damn it. | ||
| It's driving me crazy. | ||
| Trist Barely made it through So we went there to visit once back in the dis a when my older daughter was going to college And when we drove around like to see what it'd be like to live in New York. | ||
| We were like you guys are high You can't even park There's nowhere to park. | ||
| If you want a parking spot, it costs you like 2,000 bucks. | ||
| That's kind of it. | ||
| Maybe if you don't like cars, you'd like New York better. | ||
| But if you have a car... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's freedom that we have. | ||
| There's a freedom of just being able to get in your car and just, you know... | ||
| Drive down to a deli at 1 in the morning and park and get out with your friends. | ||
| There's that freedom that you have to just go wherever you want with cars. | ||
| Once you get used to that and you get used to not being on top of people like the subway, you get spoiled. | ||
| But there's a benefit to being on top of people, too. | ||
| New York is way more diverse in terms of the way people interact with each other. | ||
| Rich people are walking down the street, poor people are walking up the street, and everybody's together. | ||
| There's no everybody together in LA. There's no time where everybody just intermingles. | ||
| It's like people stay in their neighborhoods or they go out to bars and restaurants and they go back to their neighborhoods. | ||
| They're not walking past each other for prolonged periods of time, to and from work, you know, in the neighborhood, going from place to place, just walking around. | ||
| It's kind of ironic that the most urban place It's the place where the people walk the most. | ||
| Kind of ironic, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, any place that's less urban, everybody just drives everywhere. | ||
| Because it's easier to just get in your car and drive somewhere. | ||
| But there, it's so hard to park. | ||
| Everybody just walks. | ||
| Imagine if everybody in New York had a car. | ||
| That would be the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
| You actually couldn't do it, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| How many million people are in New York? | ||
| In Manhattan. | ||
| Just Manhattan. | ||
| That live there? | ||
| Yeah, what do you think? | ||
| Seven? | ||
| No, it's less than that because Brooklyn's way bigger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, most people are driving into the city to work for the day and then they leave. | ||
| Let's take a bet. | ||
| I bet it's more than that. | ||
| I bet it's five. | ||
| I just heard a discussion about it the other day. | ||
| Oh, what did you hear it on? | ||
| Some guys talking about how Brooklyn, if it was on its own, not part of the boroughs, it would be like the fifth largest city in the country. | ||
| Is this guy just someone hanging out with you? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was a podcast discussion. | ||
| They live in New York and they're just talking about it. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I heard. | ||
| This I heard shit. | ||
| Let's Google it. | ||
| I say 5 million. | ||
| What do you say? | ||
| 3.7. | ||
| Oh, that's a good hedge or bat move. | ||
| And you say 2? | ||
| How many people live in Manhattan? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Full-time residents. | ||
| Probably less than a million. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| That doesn't seem right. | ||
| It's not that big. | ||
| Manhattan? | ||
| Manhattan, like the borough, or all of New York City. | ||
| No, just Manhattan. | ||
| Just Manhattan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet it's bigger than that. | ||
| It's like a Burbank. | ||
| At night, everyone leaves. | ||
| There's no one actually that lives there. | ||
| There's no way it's a million. | ||
| There's so many people that live there. | ||
| 1.6. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god, that's bonkers. | ||
| Is that in the 30s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
2020. 1930s. | |
| 1.6! | ||
| And how many visit there to work every day? | ||
| That's gotta be fucking stupendous. | ||
| What do you guess? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| 3.7. | ||
| I'm saying 5 million visitors. | ||
| How many? | ||
| 65.2 million tourists in a year. | ||
| Oh, but that's tourists. | ||
| I mean commuters. | ||
| How many people do you think commute there every day? | ||
| 3.7. | ||
| It's an interesting life, man, and those people that love it when they go somewhere else. | ||
| It's 1.6 to 3.1 commute every day, so it doubles. | ||
| Oh, that's it, huh? | ||
| 3.1. | ||
| Wow, I would have guessed that Manhattan was like 7 million people. | ||
| What is the whole of New York City, all the boroughs together? | ||
| That's what it all is. | ||
| It's close to 10 to 11, 12 when you get everything all together. | ||
| But Manhattan itself is a lot of fucking rich people. | ||
| You see some of the places that are for sale in Manhattan. | ||
| I don't know what happened, but I got on a YouTube thing where I started watching these ridiculous apartment buildings in New York City that they build, where they build them specifically for some crazy Arab oil dude. | ||
| Who's got a shit ton of money, who wants the dopest fucking house on the planet Earth, or some hedge fund guy who's about to get busted before he wants to go out with a bang and spend all his money. | ||
| But they have elevators and fucking theaters and huge home spas. | ||
| Some of them actually have garages. | ||
| You can actually park in a garage in New York City. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's like the crowning jewel of this building. | ||
| A garage! | ||
| You actually can park your car in New York City. | ||
| I'm like, wow, what is wrong? | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| It's weird being on Facebook. | ||
| My friend's a realtor, and he'll just post, like, oh, here's an eight-bedroom unit in Texas, $200,000, and you're just looking at, like, that's Scarface's house. | ||
| Like, I want to buy that. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to. | ||
| If you lived in Texas, would you go Austin? | ||
| There's two moves. | ||
| No, there's three moves, really. | ||
| There's Austin, if you're like, yeah, I want a hand tattoo. | ||
| Yeah, I love craft beer, and I like going to see live bands. | ||
| Or you're Houston where it's like you really love oil money. | ||
| Or Dallas? | ||
| I would definitely not do Houston because of the weather. | ||
| Too funky? | ||
| Yeah, it's too humid out there. | ||
| Summer gets hot. | ||
| And it's too much to drown, like, flooding lately. | ||
| They do flood. | ||
| They're out of control. | ||
| Like, my ex-girlfriend's house, her parents' house got flooded, like, four times. | ||
| They rebuilt it, and then it got flooded, rebuilt it. | ||
| Remember that one time when we were at the Laugh Stop? | ||
| And after we left, the entire city went underwater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, the hotel where we were staying at doesn't exist anymore because it went underwater. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| Dallas is the move, I think. | ||
| Yeah, Dallas is my favorite. | ||
| Because you could always drive to Austin, then you can get out before anybody just annoys you. | ||
| And Dallas is pretty close to Los Angeles. | ||
| It's got a lot of money, and it's very rich, and so everywhere you go, it feels very LA. And they have less healers per capita. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Austin. | ||
| I love Austin. | ||
| But there's a high percentage of knuckleheads that are like wrapped up in the spiritual sort of aspects of nonsense. | ||
| Takes one rock store to ruin that though. | ||
| One crystal store. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| One person who's a channeler was doing seances at their house. | ||
| You think their business is picking up right now? | ||
| No. | ||
| Protecting people? | ||
| No, people need money. | ||
| People need money. | ||
| They're not going to spend their fucking money on some nonsense. | ||
| In the back of their head, they know it was nonsense. | ||
| You're hearing way, way, way, way, way less people complain about nonsense right now. | ||
| You don't hear the standard outrage at stupid shit. | ||
| What you're hearing now is people really concerned about people's lives, you know? | ||
| And I'm hoping that this is gonna last, that this feeling of understanding that we are really vulnerable. | ||
| We're in this together. | ||
| We really are, you know? | ||
| And sometimes it takes something like this to happen where you go, oh shit. | ||
| But no, we really are. | ||
| We're in this together. | ||
| We just didn't realize it because it was easy. | ||
| It was easy to get by. | ||
| It's really cool seeing the neighborhood aspect of it. | ||
| I don't know if you're on Nextdoor. | ||
| I'd tell you're on Nextdoor. | ||
| That'd be hilarious. | ||
| But Nextdoor is like a Reddit thread for your neighborhood. | ||
| And just hearing people like, hey, does anyone have toilet paper? | ||
| And somebody's like, oh, drop off lemons, my lemon tree. | ||
| And just helping each other out. | ||
| It's pretty beautiful. | ||
| It didn't happen before this, you know? | ||
| It's very cool. | ||
| It's funny you say lemons. | ||
| My next-door neighbor, she was handing out lemons yesterday. | ||
| She had a bucket. | ||
| Free lemons. | ||
| Come take some lemons. | ||
| Just set it out in front of the house. | ||
| Yeah, there's good parts to being scared, you realize. | ||
| People get cocky, man. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I like weed. | ||
| I've talked about this and people think I'm kidding, but one of the reasons why I like weed is it makes me paranoid. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I can get cocky. | ||
| People get cocky. | ||
| You get confused. | ||
| You can start believing some pretty stupid things about just life in general if you're not humbled by a little fear sometimes. | ||
| Just a little nervousness. | ||
| Just a little anxiety. | ||
| Just a little look up at the sky. | ||
| What would we do if an asteroid shower just came down Unannounced and just completely wiped out the power grid. | ||
| You want to talk about death and disease? | ||
| What we're experiencing now is this is a fucking dry run for a real apocalyptic event. | ||
| This is nothing. | ||
| This is nothing in comparison to stuff that could happen. | ||
| We got cocky. | ||
| We didn't think it could happen because nothing had happened in so long. | ||
| And we'd find these craters and be like, huh. | ||
| Look, we found a spot where everybody died in, you know, 200,000 years ago. | ||
| Oh, look, here's a spot where the dinosaurs were killed 65 million years ago. | ||
| There's all these spots where they keep finding these gigantic fucking craters. | ||
| Here's where Noah's Ark crashed. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| People that are really just looking for Noah's Ark, you missed the point. | ||
| Remember that guy from a long time ago that made the video, Noah's Ark? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, yeah. | |
| I wonder what happened to that guy. | ||
| Didn't that guy want us to go look at it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like, what are you going to show me, a big boat? | ||
| I'm like, bro, but if you're coming to me, you're already fucked up. | ||
| You know, you're coming to me to release your Noah's Ark information? | ||
| I don't think this is real, sir. | ||
| But I think the Noah's Ark story... | ||
| Look, you just have to put it through the filter of time, right? | ||
| We're talking about thousands and thousands of years ago, and we're talking about people likely telling a story for hundreds if not thousands of years before it ever gets written down. | ||
| And all these different versions of it get tossed around, but the heart of the Noah's Ark story is a cataclysmic event happens and this one guy collects a bunch of animals And he restarts civilization. | ||
| You could easily put that through the filter of interpretation and say, I bet what happened was there was a small group of people that survived. | ||
| Some sort of massive cataclysmic event and one guy Convinced someone or they made it up that he knew it was coming and that God had been talking to him So that's why he was able to to lead everybody and then after they tell the story 3,000 different times it gets all whacked out and you know God comes down and tells him no you got to build a boat so he builds this boat and everybody laughs at him and he brings on two of each animal you know It's the dumbest story | ||
| ever. | ||
| But it's a story that clearly it's not a real story, right? | ||
| Because, you know, I had that bit about if you told that to a five-year-old kid with a mental handicap, he would be like, there's a lot of holes in that story. | ||
| You ever had that bit? | ||
| Yeah, I love that bit. | ||
| That bit was, but the accuracy of it was like, animals eat other animals. | ||
| You can't just have two of each animal on a boat. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| That makes zero sense. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Why are you lying to me? | ||
| Something else happened. | ||
| But what they're trying to say is some animal survived and civilization restarted. | ||
| They didn't know how big the world was back then. | ||
| People 4,000 years ago or whatever it was when they first wrote these stories down or even had these ideas, those people had no idea how big the world was. | ||
| They were in their spot. | ||
| If some shit went down in your spot, you thought the world was ending. | ||
| You know, can you imagine if you're living near Pompeii When that Mount Vesuvius blows and the whole fucking town gets covered in ash and everybody dies. | ||
| Imagine if you're living anywhere near there. | ||
| You would think that hell just broke out in the world. | ||
| You wouldn't think, oh, in, you know, Thailand right now, they're just chilling on the beach. | ||
| You wouldn't think that. | ||
| You would think it's over like this for everyone, everywhere. | ||
| Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, in fucking New Zealand, they didn't even know it happened. | ||
| They had no idea. | ||
| They're just hanging out. | ||
| Meanwhile, these people are dead as fuck, covered in ash. | ||
| Over in New Zealand, they're just hanging out. | ||
| That's how the world is. | ||
| The world's huge. | ||
| And if some shit goes down in one part, back then you didn't know. | ||
| So if you were one of the people to survive when some shit went down, You'd write about it. | ||
| And then people would talk, and they'd tell that story. | ||
| And they'd pass it on to other people, and they'd pass it on to other people. | ||
| And somewhere through these stories, they figured out there's like a framework in here for telling people that shit could go down, and that we have to work together, and that we have to believe in a higher power. | ||
| And that if you believe in a higher power, and you believe in something else that's bigger and better than you, you'll do better things while you're here. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's so obvious. | ||
| Obviously I could be wrong too, but my that's that's my take on it and I think We've just had this giant stretch where none of those things happened. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We've had a couple of hundred years of pretty easy life in terms of natural disasters. | ||
| You know, you got your occasional hurricane. | ||
| Again, if you were there, you would think it's hell. | ||
| Where the tornado hits. | ||
| When we're chilling here in L.A. and a tornado hits Louisiana, we feel bad. | ||
| You see, oh, 36 people died in a tornado. | ||
| We feel bad. | ||
| But you don't feel it. | ||
| You know, you don't know the sky monster's coming to take your loved ones. | ||
| But if you're there, that sky monster is a real thing. | ||
| It's a sky monster. | ||
| Just because it doesn't have fangs, just because it doesn't laugh at you while it's ripping your family apart and throwing fucking bathtubs in the air. | ||
| There's one video of a semi, like a semi-truck spinning in the sky. | ||
| Was it Twister? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Spinning in the sky. | |
| No! | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was real. | ||
| It was real, you son of a bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, it hit a parking area for semi-trucks and these semi-trucks were literally getting flown around the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we found this before. | ||
| Dude, it might be a twister. | ||
| With Helen Hunt in it. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It's flying in the air. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's just like Twister. | ||
| It's just like Twister. | ||
| But it's real. | ||
| And it's metal. | ||
| Dude, this is fucking... | ||
| It's probably several thousand pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| And they're just getting flown through the air by the sky monster. | ||
| Now imagine if a huge dinosaur came through town and did the exact same amount of damage, killed the exact same amount of people. | ||
| You'd be like, fucking Godzilla's real! | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| It's a fucking lizard monster. | ||
| But we're not scared of the sky monster the way we are of the lizard monster. | ||
| You would never live in the land where the lizard monster comes. | ||
| And he just disappears. | ||
| He just goes back up in the clouds. | ||
| Yeah, you see him over the mountains. | ||
| You know he's coming. | ||
| You're like, fuck! | ||
| We gotta get out of here! | ||
| That's just like the sky monster. | ||
| But he doesn't chase you. | ||
| Sky Monster's blind. | ||
| Whatever's in his path, if he gets lucky and catches a town, he just rips that fucker apart. | ||
| But if he just goes through the swamp and sends alligators into the air either, he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Sky Monster's just doing Sky Monster type shit. | ||
| He's not targeting specific individuals. | ||
| But the lizard monster would. | ||
| That's the only difference. | ||
| Are you talking like if Godzilla's real? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| If Godzilla's real and he only went to Louisiana, who the fuck is gonna live in Louisiana? | ||
| Imagine if Godzilla's proven Godzilla's never gone outside the boundaries of Louisiana. | ||
| You go to Louisiana, everybody's running from Godzilla. | ||
| When no one in the movies leaves Tokyo, they stay there. | ||
| They're just like, hey, Godzilla's back. | ||
| Have you ever been in Tokyo? | ||
| No. | ||
| Brian and I went to Tokyo. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| I miss Tokyo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope I can go. | |
| One day. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| If it's still there. | ||
| If it's still there. | ||
| That'd be fun to edit Godzilla into all these tornado movies. | ||
| But if you think about it, man, this virus, I've been saying this about all viruses, that diseases are like demons. | ||
| You know, and we just, if we were losing, like, have you seen the numbers too? | ||
| This is something that my friend Steve, who's a doctor, sent me. | ||
| And this is a fucking series of crazy statistics. | ||
| But the craziest statistics about how many people die like it puts it into perspective I mean and all life lost is valuable. | ||
| All life lost is a tragedy. | ||
| I'm not saying anything other than that But what I'm just I'm not diminishing anyone's loss of life But what I am saying is I was stunned when I saw the actual numbers so 2017 to 2018 H2N3 pandemic killed 61,000 Americans. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Did you know that, Jamie? | ||
| I've heard numbers like that recently, but not before. | ||
| 2017 to 2018. Hospitalized 30,453 and estimated affected was 894,700 people by that flu. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Overall death rate was 7.5. | ||
| With a peak in January 2018 of 10.8. | ||
| Again, I'm a moron, not a doctor, reading you a text message. | ||
| Maybe I shouldn't be doing that. | ||
| Maybe someone should look into this. | ||
| 2009 pandemic. | ||
| Now, this is the one that Bert said he had. | ||
| He said the H1N1 killed 83,300 Americans. | ||
| Death rates range from 4% to 33% for pediatric. | ||
| 0 to 22% for 18 to 64. For 0 to 4% for those over 65. Man. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| US cases 60.8 million. | ||
| 274,000 hospitalized. | ||
| 12,469 deaths in the U.S. I'm just going over all these different ones that happened. | ||
| Flu of the year of 2020. Cases reported. | ||
| 45 million. | ||
| Hospitalizations, 415,000. | ||
| Deaths, 48,000. | ||
| That's for the 2020 flu. | ||
| This flu season. | ||
| There's so many people that die of the flu. | ||
| But obviously, when you see healthcare workers freaking out, you know this is different. | ||
| So what is different about it? | ||
| It's all at the same time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all at the same time. | ||
| It's new. | ||
| It's a new virus. | ||
| People don't have immunity for it. | ||
| They don't really know how to cure it. | ||
| And it attacks the respiratory system. | ||
| And it seems to have a real quick turnaround from I'm not feeling so good to I'm dead. | ||
| It happens very quickly for some people, shockingly so. | ||
| And it seems to affect different people in different ways. | ||
| There's a lot going on with this one that has smart people going, we need to fucking stay home for a bit. | ||
| Everybody chill. | ||
| No large gatherings. | ||
| Just chill. | ||
| Do you ever get the flu shot every year? | ||
| I feel like I get the flu almost every year, but I never do the flu shot. | ||
| Maybe you should do the other thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't get it last year. | ||
| I don't get the flu shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that a bad idea? | ||
| It seems like it's a... | ||
| I've survived and been healthy, but just eating well and not getting the flu shot, and then making sure I'm in the sauna and I exercise well and sleep well, and I've been able to shake it off. | ||
| But... | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| It's probably... | ||
| I probably should get the flu shot. | ||
| And if I got the flu again, maybe I'd be like, fuck, man, I should have got the flu shot. | ||
| Let me just get that flu shot. | ||
| But, I mean, whether it's diet or whether it's all the shit I'm on, all the different vitamins and hormones and the fact that I'm in the fucking sauna for 25 minutes every day, but I rarely get sick. | ||
| It seems like you would get it more just because you're around gyms and saunas and places where there's a lot of sweat and... | ||
| The only cooties I've gotten in the gym that scare me is staph. | ||
| I've gotten staph a couple of times. | ||
| That scares me. | ||
| Did you ever get ring warm? | ||
| Yeah, I got that a bunch of times. | ||
| I got that twice at least, maybe three times, which is not that bad. | ||
| You put Lamisil on it, stay off the mat for a little bit. | ||
| And then the products that I started using prevented or saved me from that. | ||
| It's a company called Defense Soap. | ||
| I use that. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| Because it's all natural stuff. | ||
| It's all tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil. | ||
| And it's not antibiotic in that it doesn't kill off all the good bacteria. | ||
| It just coats your body with this soap and it's all natural. | ||
| It kills the bad bacteria, but it doesn't kill good bacteria. | ||
| I don't understand how that works, folks. | ||
| But people have known that forever. | ||
| The tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil are good for infections and preventing infections. | ||
| I use it because I'm like a yeasty boy. | ||
| I'm very yeasty. | ||
| Are you yeasty? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you get used infections? | ||
| I give it. | ||
| I give them. | ||
| You give them out? | ||
| Yeah, I give them out. | ||
| You're lucky if you get one from me. | ||
| You don't let them out. | ||
| Like awards. | ||
| Yeah, I've been lucky with diseases. | ||
| Knock on wood. | ||
| But it's, you know, this is a weird one if you're compromised. | ||
| You know, people that have lung issues or people that have had, like, I hate to say it, Brian, but vaping. | ||
| Vaping, yeah. | ||
| I think cigarettes and vaping. | ||
| I wonder weed smokers, though. | ||
| Because I know it's always like... | ||
| It's definitely not good for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, how bad is it for you? | ||
| Tommy Chong, still going. | ||
| He's my canary in a coal mine. | ||
| Because Willie Nelson's out of the game. | ||
| Willie Nelson moved over to the edible game. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Couldn't take the smoking anymore. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, smoking was fucking him up. | ||
| So he moved over to the edible game. | ||
| It still fucks your lungs up. | ||
| You're still coughing. | ||
| Making psychedelic songs at 90. Tommy Tong doesn't have to sing, right? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Willie's going to sing songs. | ||
| Yeah, and just the smoke. | ||
| Just the hot smoke. | ||
| Apparently the number of joints that that guy can put away is supposed to be terrifying. | ||
| Toby Keith wrote a song about it. | ||
| I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. | ||
| He wrote a song about getting high with Willie. | ||
| Everybody says that. | ||
| You get high with Willie. | ||
| Snip versus Willie. | ||
| Who do you got? | ||
| I gotta go with Snoop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just gotta go with Snoop. | ||
| I go with Snoop all day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Out of respect. | ||
| But Snoop is such a G, he might lay down. | ||
| He might take a dive just for Willie so Willie feels better. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I can win another day. | ||
| This is Willie Nelson. | ||
| You know, Snoop Dogg might take a dive in that one. | ||
| But if they really wanted to go head-to-head, Snoop's gonna be awake for days, just still smoking. | ||
| Do you think Willie smokes blunts, though? | ||
| I'm not that he can't, but you think he does? | ||
| Like, Snoop fucking tears down blunts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a different thing. | |
| Well, Willie used to smoke cigarettes, right? | ||
| So I bet he avoids blunts. | ||
| Or he loves them. | ||
| I know a lot of people that quit smoking. | ||
| They're like, no, I'm a blunt guy. | ||
| Oh, okay, we know what's going on here. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, I know a guy who used cigars to get off his cigarettes. | ||
| Started smoking cigars and got his nicotine fixed, but, you know, felt better because he wasn't inhaling and just, you know, you just keep it in your mouth so your breath stinks. | ||
| Smell up the place wherever you're at. | ||
| Yeah, you don't like cigars. | ||
| No, I don't mind them. | ||
| When you go to a place like, say, the Comedy Store front patio and five people are smoking cigars, it's kind of like, get me the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's a little obnoxious. | ||
| That's a little dick swingy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, because you're pretty much just taking over the air. | |
| You're making people smell you. | ||
| Like, if you go to one, the best place to go is one of those cigar bars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because there's a bunch of other cigar dorks in there. | ||
| You guys can all get together. | ||
| And apparently, is this true? | ||
| Are cigar bars essential? | ||
| Is that one of those essential businesses that are open? | ||
| I mean, if pot shops are, I can imagine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because here's the thing. | ||
| People do get addicted to tobacco. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So what do you do about that? | ||
| Do you say, hey, now's the time to quit? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Sorry, you can't go anywhere? | ||
| Or do you let them, if that's how they get their tobacco fix, do you let them? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| I would say they're not essential. | ||
| But, I mean, pot shops surprised me. | ||
| Look at gun shops, man. | ||
| My studio in Burbank's by three gun shops. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| But there's three right next door to me, and there's lines going down the street like a mile long just to get a gun. | ||
| You have a 10-day waiting crate. | ||
| Yeah, but still, 10 days later, you've got a gun. | ||
| A lot of liberals change their fucking tune. | ||
| I have... | ||
| Quite a few friends who would never consider having a gun. | ||
| I had a conversation with one of them yesterday. | ||
| He's like, I've never had a gun in my life, never considered a gun. | ||
| I have a gun now. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, that's probably smart. | ||
| Better to have it and not to need it than to need it and not to have it. | ||
| And I'm hoping people come together. | ||
| I'm not hoping this turns into some crazy shootout in the streets. | ||
| But I am happy that people understand why people wanted guns in the first place. | ||
| Because these things can happen. | ||
| And right now, nothing. | ||
| Nothing has happened. | ||
| Nothing really bad. | ||
| But we're in a state of chaos. | ||
| And states of chaos deteriorate or they go away. | ||
| It's not like this is the new normal, I don't think. | ||
| If it's just like this, then great. | ||
| We don't need any more guns. | ||
| Basically, you know, it's like we've got a good amount of guns. | ||
| It's not like everybody needs to go out and get a gun who never considered it before. | ||
| But if it gets crazy, then you should have a gun, right? | ||
| Like, if you don't want to have a gun, I don't think you should have to have a gun. | ||
| But what are you going to do if the whole thing completely falls apart? | ||
| Imagine this scenario. | ||
| How would you feel? | ||
| If there's only a few people in your neighborhood with guns, and there's people that were coming in and robbing, killing people, because we had gone all walking dead, because the power had been off from the asteroid shower for six months, there's no way to even tell these people are coming. | ||
| But there's only two people in your block with guns. | ||
| But there's 30 houses. | ||
| Well, what the fuck are you gonna do? | ||
| You only have two guns, and there's 30. That's not good. | ||
| See, that's what people are scared of. | ||
| What people are scared of, and maybe they're wrong, but the preppers right now are the ones laughing their asses off. | ||
| The people with, you know, fucking jarred peaches and shit, those people that you see on TV with their own well, they're laughing right now. | ||
| They're laughing. | ||
| They're hoping it deteriorates even further. | ||
| Because they could take over. | ||
| They could be the king. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I wish I had a gun right now. | ||
| I have, like, a bunch of fake guns. | ||
| You never thought about having a gun before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm one of those guys, though, that, you know, I didn't grow up with guns, so they're kind of intimidating. | ||
| And I feel like I'm somebody that one night would be wasted and be like, let me make a funny YouTube video. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| There are a lot of dorks who do that, flash guns on Twitch and wind up shooting a monitor. | ||
| It's like trusting yourself, you know? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's just, you know, the problem is you can just buy a gun if you're not a criminal, right? | ||
| If you want to drive a car, you've got to take a test. | ||
| But a car is not specifically designed to kill someone. | ||
| It can kill someone accidentally. | ||
| It's not specifically designed to kill someone. | ||
| A gun is specifically designed to kill, and you don't even have to fucking show you know how to use it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That worries me, too, because that line by my house was a lot of middle-aged Karens. | ||
| Like, oh, God. | ||
| Did they train you there? | ||
| I don't even know the process. | ||
| It seems like you should go through a training gun course. | ||
| You definitely should. | ||
| And better not pull a prank on Karen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Karen might be locked and loaded on 18 Adderalls. | ||
| I want to talk to the fucking manager. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Pissing in her carpet because she's too scared to get up. | ||
| She's sure that that sound is a serial killer making its way up her stairs. | ||
| You know, it's her cousin coming to check in on her. | ||
| That kind of stuff happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are nuts, man. | ||
| And you can just get a gun. | ||
| If you're not a criminal... | ||
| You don't have mental health problems, you can just get a gun. | ||
| And you definitely should know how to use it. | ||
| And it's just, there's two schools of thought. | ||
| The Texas school of thought is a well-armed society, it's a polite society. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| They're right in a lot of ways. | ||
| That's right too. | ||
| Another school of thought is, wouldn't it be great if no one had a gun? | ||
| And you never had to worry about getting shot. | ||
| Yup, yup, that's good too. | ||
| Also, wouldn't it be great if the government was awesome and you knew they would never turn tyrannical on you? | ||
| Yeah, that'd be good. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be good. | ||
| But that's not true, right? | ||
| Because the government's made it out of people and look at China. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| What's happening in China happening here, right? | ||
| We all agree to that. | ||
| We don't want to live under a military dictatorship. | ||
| I don't care how good it looks. | ||
| That sounds terrible for us. | ||
| We don't want that. | ||
| So we know that's real. | ||
| It's happening right now. | ||
| Other people trapped in a country. | ||
| They can't even use a real internet, right? | ||
| They can't even get on Twitter. | ||
| They can't get on Facebook. | ||
| Brian Callen did a movie there. | ||
| They took his phone away. | ||
| They gave him a new phone with Chinese social media on it. | ||
| They're like, you could use this. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| They wouldn't let him on Twitter. | ||
| He couldn't go on Instagram. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He needs a VPN. You can't work. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| They block them over there. | ||
| They block everything over there. | ||
| Apparently, some VPNs work in Hong Kong. | ||
| But Hong Kong's not, you know, it's sort of a different situation than mainland China. | ||
| Bro, it's weird that people can live the way those Chinese people are under the fist of a government that, like, pulls people out of... | ||
| Did you see those people that got dragged away because they tested positive for Corona? | ||
| Where are those people going? | ||
| Landfill? | ||
| Yeah, who the fuck knows, man? | ||
| That's happening at the same time as us. | ||
| As we have so much freedom that people are looking for shit to get upset about. | ||
| Taking some of Trump, and Trump no doubt has said ridiculous shit. | ||
| That's not my point. | ||
| It's not that he's infallible and he's always right. | ||
| It's that you're wasting time playing gotcha with the President of the United States in the middle of a pandemic. | ||
| Yeah, he's going to say dumb shit. | ||
| Get used to it. | ||
| But don't harp on that. | ||
| Let's figure out what the fuck needs to be done. | ||
| That's what we need to figure out. | ||
| And I don't think anybody knows. | ||
| They're waiting in New York for it to peak. | ||
| And so that's why they wanted all those ventilators. | ||
| And they're going to set up some things in parks and shit. | ||
| In the Javits Center, apparently. | ||
| They're going to set up some sort of temporary hospital unit. | ||
| This is crazy, man. | ||
| It's really cool seeing all the manufacturing plants like Tesla and stuff making ventilators and converting their factories to make hand sanitizers and stuff like that. | ||
| People who know how to make masks and shit. | ||
| Printing masks. | ||
| Jordy's brother, our friend Jordy... | ||
| From Comedy Central? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it was Jordy. | ||
| His brother is the one printing out the masks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's very cool. | |
| There's quite a few companies that are doing that. | ||
| That's very cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Phew. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Weird times. | ||
| To put it mildly, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nothing feels normal. | ||
| You wake up in the morning like, how am I supposed to feel? | ||
| Wake up in the morning? | ||
| I mean, now it's like, I go tomorrow, I'm like, okay, nothing to do tomorrow at all. | ||
| Well, I guess I could just stay up all night and, you know, go to sleep when I want to. | ||
| I went to bed at like nine in the morning. | ||
| I just played VR all night and ate mushrooms. | ||
| Right now, eating mushrooms is a little too crazy, though. | ||
| Halfway through, I was like, this is where you're going and thinking. | ||
| It was a little rough. | ||
| We just have to know that now we know that this can happen. | ||
| Now we know. | ||
| We didn't know. | ||
| We weren't getting all the information. | ||
| But just... | ||
| The things that also are deadly, that also affect so many people, like that list that I read off. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Is any of that shit I read right? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| It seems like it would be. | ||
| I mean, nowadays, you get all these doctor lists on Facebook, you never know what's real and what's not. | ||
| This is from a friend of mine who's a legitimate doctor. | ||
| Is that correct? | ||
| Are those numbers correct? | ||
| We should probably say. | ||
| Let's Google the numbers again. | ||
| So what did I say? | ||
| Let's start off with the first one. | ||
| The first one was Michael Yeo apparently put out a video today. | ||
| Oh, did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's back. | ||
| Okay, let's look at this one, the 2017-2018 H2N3 virus pandemic that killed 61,000 Americans. | ||
| I was looking that up. | ||
| The hardest part with that right now is those numbers have been accumulated over a year plus, and we only have had a month or whatever to collect these numbers right now. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it even says 2017-2018. | ||
| But over a year, it killed 61,000 people. | ||
| Now the other one was the big one at the end. | ||
| The flu for this year, for 2020. Cases reported 45 million. | ||
| Hospitalizations 415,000. | ||
| Deaths 48,000. | ||
| That's worldwide? | ||
| No, it's the United States. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I know. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I haven't even heard about the flu this year. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| It's like, it's not sexy, because it happens every year. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, it's like the Sky Monster. | ||
| If the Sky Monster never appeared before, and then one day, the first tornado hit and tore apart Nashville, we'd be like, what in the fuck? | ||
| God's mad at us. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's how they used to feel back in the... | ||
| Just one person's case. | ||
| I remember last week I read someone that got tested for the flu and they tested positive and then weeks later got tested for the COVID-19 and then tested positive for that. | ||
| But they weren't tested for COVID at the time. | ||
| They were tested for the flu because they didn't have a test. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So there could be a lot of people that tested positive for the flu maybe that never had a COVID-19 test. | ||
| Yeah, could be. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| I guess it depends on whether or not they have the tests available in different places, too, right? | ||
| I'm just now reading, too. | ||
| There's a new test that just got made today that's faster results. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a five-minute test. | ||
| It's like an easy-bake oven of testing. | ||
| Jamie, what are we going to do if you test positive? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, you're in contact, bro. | ||
| I already have it, then. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Because I'm testing positive doesn't mean... | ||
| Right, could be. | ||
| You're out there spreading it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Carrier. | |
| Get out of here! | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| Don't pet my dog, you fuck. | ||
| Oh, that's too late. | ||
| I didn't even think of that. | ||
| They sent the email out, what was yesterday? | ||
| Saturday, I guess? | ||
| It's too late. | ||
| When the fuck did they get it? | ||
| That's when they got it to the hospital and called the apartment building and said, hey, you might want to let everybody know. | ||
| Are you washing your hands a lot? | ||
| You guys doing the whole thing? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I'm washing the shit out of my hands. | ||
| My hands are annoyed at me. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| I'm lucky I got some hand sanitizer. | ||
| Oh, before the crash? | ||
| Right before it happened, the crash, I was opening up for Tom Green in San Diego. | ||
| And Tom Green was the first person that I knew that was kind of like panicking a little. | ||
| He's like, I just bought a crate of Lysol, mini Lysols, and he was spraying the microphone down on stage. | ||
| And I was like, he's taking a little overboard. | ||
| Literally like a week later, everyone's doing that. | ||
| Tom Green ahead of the curve. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| It's spooky, dude. | ||
| Who was it that had a friend? | ||
| Was it Tom Papa, whose friend was warning him long in advance? | ||
| No, it wasn't Tom Papa. | ||
| It was Bert Kreischer. | ||
| Bert Kreischer had a friend who was warning him way in advance, listen, you need to isolate, you need to get your family out, and he was like, what? | ||
| It was Bert, right? | ||
| Put your shirt on. | ||
| Yeah, take your shirt on, put your shirt back on. | ||
| You need to isolate quickly, get away from everybody, because it's going to spread right through America. | ||
| And he was like, what? | ||
| And this was apparently in February. | ||
| And he was like, this lady's crazy. | ||
| And then he texted her in the beginning of March when it was on and popping. | ||
| He's like, you're right. | ||
| My point about showing those numbers was not to diminish the impact of this current pandemic. | ||
| It was just to highlight the fact that... | ||
| We live in a war zone. | ||
| We live in a virus war zone that takes out thousands of people every year in this country. | ||
| And I don't think most of us are really keeping our eye on that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, you hear about deaths by the flu and, you know, they're never shocking. | ||
| Deaths by some new thing, for some reason, even if it's the same number of deaths, or less even, right? | ||
| So far, less. | ||
| Freak us the fuck out. | ||
| Seems like it's happening more, though, like if you go on TMZ, it's like somebody dies every day, like this old philosopher or this old poet or this old musician. | ||
| You never hear that in the past, like, oh, he died of the flu, that guy died of the flu, that guy died of the flu. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Jimmy just pulled something up. | ||
| A total of 19,543 laboratory-confirmed influenza-associated hospitalizations were reported by FluServe-Net sites between October 2019 and March 21, 2020. 41,172.1% were associated with influenza A virus. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That's like 14,000. | ||
| 14,000? | ||
| What did I say? | ||
| 41. Oh, whoops. | ||
| What am I, dyslexic? | ||
| Influenza, okay, 5,335, 27.3% with influenza B. That's true too, right? | ||
| If you get an influenza A shot and it's influenza B, you might catch it anyway. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| So that's a lot of people, right? | ||
| So we got 19,500 and 5,300 and 14,100. | ||
| My theory is that you were born sucking your thumb. | ||
| You were supposed to suck your thumb your whole life, and it was supposed to keep your immune system strong so that it would fight all day soon. | ||
| Look at the hospitalization rate. | ||
| It was 67.3 per 100,000 population, which is higher than all recent seasons. | ||
| Except for the 2017-2018 season, rates in children 0-4 years old and adults 18-49 are now the highest CDC has on record for these age groups, surpassing the rate reported during the 2009 H1N1 pandemic. | ||
| Hospitalization rates for school-aged children are higher than any recent regular season, but lower than rates during the pandemic. | ||
| So what happened in 2009 when the H1N1 kicked in and killed all those people? | ||
| They didn't shut anything down. | ||
| I think what I've been hearing is after a thousand people died is when things started changing. | ||
| I don't really remember what was changing back then. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| No. | ||
| We should talk to Bird again. | ||
| Bird had it. | ||
| He had the H1N1. He did? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Yeah, he said it was the sickest he's ever been in his life. | ||
| And it was 2009 when it was all going down. | ||
| And he said he couldn't sleep. | ||
| He was so uncomfortable. | ||
| He was in just constant pain and aching. | ||
| He said he never felt sicker ever in his life. | ||
| And that killed a lot of people. | ||
| I've had a flu like that before, where, you know, you're just puking, shitting, you can't hold anything in, you're sweating, you're waking up, you know. | ||
| Was that 2009? | ||
| I don't think it was. | ||
| I feel like it was like five years ago or something like that, six years ago. | ||
| They can get you. | ||
| They can get you. | ||
| I hope another thing that comes out of here is people take their fucking immune system more seriously. | ||
| Support your immune system, you know? | ||
| I mean, if this makes a big, just a little shift in the number of people that get healthy, little shift in the number of people that start taking vitamins and exercising and, you know, just do something, man, something. | ||
| Put a heavy backpack on. | ||
| Go for a walk. | ||
| Do something. | ||
| Listen to the podcast. | ||
| Oh, I'm listening to this Aaron Hernandez podcast. | ||
| Wondery has this podcast called Gladiator about Aaron Hernandez. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| First of all, that's a great podcast. | ||
| You ever listen to Wondery? | ||
| They know what they're doing, man. | ||
| It's like really good editing and sound editing, and they put depth to it with all these different sound effects and stuff and different people's interviews and discussions, people that knew Aaron Hernandez. | ||
| Holy fuck, what a crazy story. | ||
| You watched the tiger thing, obviously. | ||
| I have only watched one part of one episode. | ||
| I'm saving it. | ||
| I'm surprised. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I went through all episodes in one sitting last night. | ||
| You've got to understand, I have gone down so many tiger rabbit holes, I'm terrified to start another one. | ||
| You remember that whole bit that I had about Texas and tigers from Triggered? | ||
| Dude, I went on a rabbit hole of tiger owners and people that own tigers in their backyard because of that. | ||
| That's why I think you're going to love it. | ||
| You love the Wild West. | ||
| But I wrote that bit already. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That bit's done. | |
| I know, but you've got to see this. | ||
| There's so many twists and turns that you're like, this is not real life. | ||
| This didn't happen. | ||
| But it did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, I have all the faith in the world that white trash people could be unbelievable. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Yeah, but there's so much more to it that's like insane that we haven't heard of this guy before. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| He also had an internet show during all this, like an Alex Jones type internet show. | ||
| I feel like I would have seen it because it was like Joe TV. And I'm like, of course, back in the day. | ||
| Joe Exotic TV, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, did he have it on YouTube? | ||
| Or did he only have it on his website? | ||
| I think he had it on Ustream back in the day like we did. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| How did we not see this? | ||
| I could be wrong. | ||
| Who didn't care that much back then about people living with tigers? | ||
| 2011. You might have already seen some of this stuff and not known it. | ||
| Louis Theroux? | ||
| Yeah, he did a documentary with Joe Exotic. | ||
| Oh, did Joe Exotic have his legs back then or no? | ||
| Joe had his legs the whole time. | ||
| That was one of the guys that worked for him. | ||
| He lost his legs. | ||
| He does a whole hour-long full documentary with him. | ||
| Oh, no shit. | ||
| I'd like to see that. | ||
| Yeah, I got obsessed with him last night. | ||
| I just added him on Instagram, looking back at all the photos. | ||
| Louis Theroux is the shit. | ||
| His documentaries are so good. | ||
| He's absolutely one of my favorites because he's got this style of talking to people that eventually annoys them into yelling at him. | ||
| Whether it's the Westboro Baptist Church or my favorite one was this... | ||
| He was at this wild game park in Africa where people go over there and shoot rhinos. | ||
| They pay X amount for that and Y amount for this. | ||
| He interviews these people in these wild game parks and he stays there for like three weeks and eventually just annoys this guy to the point where the guy snaps and has this rant about Africa. | ||
| About the only way that these animals are ever going to survive is if there were something. | ||
| He's like, Africa is fucked. | ||
| And the way he was saying it to him was like this really intense speech that he gave to Theroux. | ||
| Like all Theroux's annoying him for all those days and standing by him. | ||
| So you're about to feed the tiger? | ||
| Oh God. | ||
| It wasn't tigers, but he had lions. | ||
| And they were throwing like a dead cow. | ||
| And they threw it overboard. | ||
| They were throwing these chunks over the fence. | ||
| And these lions would just tear it apart. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| And he's there, standing there watching this through like two fences. | ||
| Within there's a pickup truck. | ||
| And you look in these things' eyes. | ||
| They look fucking fucking... | ||
| They look ferocious and so angry. | ||
| They look so angry that they're in that cage and so angry that they have to get their food this way. | ||
| And he was just pestering this dude, pestering him. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's one of my favorite documentaries ever on how... | ||
| Perplexing that situation is in Africa. | ||
| They have more animals there than ever. | ||
| Like all their different animals that were on the verge of extinction are now thriving, but they're thriving because they're valuable and people go over there to shoot them. | ||
| So it's like, oh, what do you make of that? | ||
| That's people. | ||
| That's people. | ||
| We're so messy. | ||
| We never do anything like these animals were on the verge of extinction, but now, due to the generous donations of the millions of people in the world, these animals are healthy and they're thriving in numbers greater than we've ever seen before. | ||
| We could just go out in a car and watch these lions take out these gazelles. | ||
| There's no way they'd pay for it that way. | ||
| If you want to make real money, You gotta make it valuable for people to go over there and shoot those things and eat them. | ||
| That's just fucked. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| Because it's the only way that it works. | ||
| Like, we're so selfish. | ||
| But on the other hand, I heard kudu meat is delicious. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I heard it's the best. | ||
| If you want to go shoot a kudu, you go over there with your friends, enjoy nice cooked meals. | ||
| There's kudu everywhere. | ||
| You go out, you shoot one, take a picture with it. | ||
| Hey, we had a good time in Africa. | ||
| You eat it. | ||
| Yeah, we ate it. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| Brought a bunch of it back, froze it. | ||
| I mean, you're eating burgers anyway. | ||
| Isn't it better to just go out there and shoot a kudu with a rifle and have a crazy story behind it and a memory that you'll never forget? | ||
| And also respect... | ||
| But we don't think about it that way. | ||
| We think, goddammit, they're only worth something if you could shoot at them. | ||
| It would be nice if it was both. | ||
| Maybe there's competing conservation efforts. | ||
| Like, one conservation effort, like the people that want no animals getting shot. | ||
| Like, you guys can have this ranch. | ||
| Let's see how you do. | ||
| And then the people that want to pay to shoot animals have the other ranch, and that ranch has a fuckload of money. | ||
| Which one's going to do better? | ||
| The one that operates on donations or the one where people fly from Cincinnati to shoot a kudu? | ||
| I bet the one where they fly and they pay to shoot a kudu, I bet that one does better. | ||
| A lot of similarities with this tiger movie, man. | ||
| What you just said. | ||
| Well, Texas, I mean, it's another place where Texas is like, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| That's a whole different kind of America. | ||
| Remember Ohio when they had to change that law? | ||
| I think it was Zanesville where he let all his animals out and there's just tigers. | ||
| Yeah, we watched that. | ||
| We watched clips of that in the Joe Exotic, the Tiger King, when you see the beginning of it. | ||
| That's really disturbing to see all those animals, those cops had to shoot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Virtual reality hunting is probably going to be the future, actually. | ||
| Did you ever see Tyson when he was explaining to me why he got a tiger? | ||
| I love Tyson, man. | ||
| Have you been listening to his podcast? | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's so genuine. | ||
| He's so genuine. | ||
| That's what we all want. | ||
| Whether we agree with you or not agree with you, we want you to be there for real. | ||
| Maybe you're making mistakes. | ||
| Maybe you're looking at things the wrong way. | ||
| But I can't listen unless I know that you're really there. | ||
| Mike Tyson is really there. | ||
| When he's talking about anything, he's not bullshitting you. | ||
| He's not an actor putting on a facade. | ||
| He's Mike Tyson. | ||
| And there's something about that man that Especially in like these fucked up times where everything is confusing It's very refreshing to see someone's authentic take on the world and Be honest about their journey in life and whose journey in life has been more strange and out of the ordinary and spectacular than Mike fucking Tyson I mean, | ||
| Mike Tyson has had one of the most extraordinary lives a human being has ever had. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And people, they might try to diminish that in some way because he's had some run-ins with the law or because of the nature of the way he became famous by being the most violent man on the planet. | ||
| You know, the best heavyweight boxer of his era. | ||
| But to get to be someone like he is, you have to have Some extraordinary horsepower inside your will. | ||
| Like your will is a supercharged engine. | ||
| There's something about that guy's will in his mind. | ||
| He might not be the most articulate, most well-read, most studied man on earth. | ||
| He's not that. | ||
| But he's extraordinary. | ||
| You have to be extraordinary to do what he did. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| He was so much better than anybody else when he was coming up. | ||
| And you can only maintain that kind of power and that kind of ferocity for a certain amount of time. | ||
| I feel like a person at that kind of pace that he was at, you can't really maintain that very long. | ||
| He was such a destroyer. | ||
| But if you go back and watch him knocking out Michael Spinks and knocking out Marvis Frazier and just smashing Larry Holmes when Larry Holmes was still... | ||
| I think Larry Holmes was in his 30s. | ||
| He was still... | ||
| I mean, it wasn't in his prime, but he was still Larry fucking Holmes. | ||
| He smashed everybody. | ||
| I miss those days of, like, watching TV, the old Tyson fights. | ||
| That was like a Super Bowl. | ||
| Every time, like, you know, just getting around. | ||
| It was a family affair. | ||
| You get the whole family around. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Everyone would get together. | ||
| You'd get mad if he was going to fight someone who was going to be, like, 15 seconds. | ||
| Like, fucking Bruce Seldon. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You get mad. | ||
| Did you see this little clip of him before the Fury-Wilder fight? | ||
| No. | ||
| Where he meets Chad Johnson in the back of the arena. | ||
| Oh, no shit. | ||
| Alright, watch what the interaction, why this went big is because the interaction when he notices the cameraman behind Chad Johnson. | ||
| Hey, are we going to get pulled? | ||
| I'm not going to play the whole thing. | ||
| It's only like 10 seconds. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It went pretty viral though, so it's like newsworthy-ish. | ||
| What went viral about it? | ||
| Watch his mic. | ||
| Okay, here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That dude's filming. | |
| He's like, what'd you do with that phone? | ||
| He got right in his face! | ||
| Shit his pants, probably. | ||
| Oh, how would you not shit your pants? | ||
| Yeah, Mike Tyson's tired of people filming him. | ||
| I found him to be very sincere. | ||
| I really enjoy his company. | ||
| I enjoyed talking to him before the show. | ||
| It's kind of surreal. | ||
| I met him at the UFC a few years back. | ||
| I got a photo with him. | ||
| And he's like, you're that dude who smokes all that weed! | ||
| And I started laughing. | ||
| I went, what's up, man? | ||
| Mike Tyson knowing who I was was just strange. | ||
| Him wearing that biker's jacket, the old black classic biker's jacket. | ||
| Yeah, old school. | ||
| Kind of like, that looks cool. | ||
| I want to get back to it. | ||
| Yeah, he's an interesting guy, man, for sure. | ||
| I love that he's got his podcast. | ||
| He was going to, they asked me to be on it through Skype. | ||
| I'm just going to wait. | ||
| I want to be there in person, man. | ||
| Where's he recorded at? | ||
| Wait until that shit blows over and then I'll go visit. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's cool. | |
| Yeah, he's great, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's getting really good at this. | ||
| Him and Eminem. | ||
| Oh shit, that's Eminem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, very interesting. | ||
| How did Eminem get a black beard? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| Didn't he used to have blonde hair? | ||
| He dyed his hair. | ||
| He dyed everything? | ||
| His face hair? | ||
| I don't think he had face hair. | ||
| No, I think he bleached his hair when it was blonde, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's his real hair color? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That or he probably does what I do, put a little Just For Men on it. | ||
| In the beard? | ||
| Yeah, that shit can fuck your face up, man. | ||
| I did a rabbit hole one day on the Just For Men, and I saw this guy who had his face burned. | ||
| Yeah, it like burns, like chemical burns on his face from, maybe it wasn't Just For Men, but some kind of beard. | ||
| It was hair dye, probably. | ||
| We'll find out. | ||
| You gotta wash it out, I can't just leave it. | ||
| Yeah, Just For Men. | ||
| Well, he wanted it really dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He wanted to really freak people out. | ||
| See, but Google like hair, dye, face burn. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking chemical, man. | ||
| I shit my head last night because of Greg Fitzsimmons, man. | ||
| Greg got rid of the sides. | ||
| I needed a haircut. | ||
| It's going to be a month until I get a haircut. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about the sides that hold you back. | ||
| If you're a bald man with the sides, unless you're doing a lot of acid. | ||
| Thinking about this, you're supposed to test any hair dye on your skin just to make sure you don't have any sort of bad reactions to it. | ||
| Bro, who's reading that? | ||
| No one's reading that. | ||
| You almost have to. | ||
| I know, but dudes don't read. | ||
| When I bleached my hair, you know, I used to bleach my hair like once a year, there'd be burns, there'd be scabs in my hair. | ||
| I would just peel out scabs because it just fried my head. | ||
| Well, they said that there's a link that they're exploring between women dying their hair and breast cancer. | ||
| Have you read this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's always a link of something. | ||
| That's a scary link, though, man. | ||
| But if you think about it, if a woman is dying her hair on a regular basis, how often do chicks dye their hair? | ||
| Every two months? | ||
| Because it's gray. | ||
| Imagine if you take in poison every two months. | ||
| Because your skin is, you know, the dermis of your skin, the epidermis. | ||
| Your skin absorbs all kinds of stuff. | ||
| I mean, your skin absorbs magnesium through the float tank. | ||
| This study says it's for permanent hair dye and chemical hair straighteners. | ||
| So it's not quite the same as, like, what most people use. | ||
| Most people use, like, a semi-permanent. | ||
| What is for permanent hair dye? | ||
| The researchers said women who use permanent hair dye and chemical hair straighteners have a higher risk for breast cancer. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So it's not the temporary hair dye that most gals get? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So all these chicks going gray need to cut it out. | ||
| I'd like it if you pretend you're not aging, please. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| What would you rather have, though? | ||
| A woman that had long gray hair or just shaved her head? | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| I don't want to answer these questions. | ||
| However, experts say women shouldn't give up hair products based on this study alone. | ||
| What experts say? | ||
| Who the fucking... | ||
| I hate when they say that. | ||
| Experts say. | ||
| Experts in what? | ||
| Well, I'm really good at Parcheesi. | ||
| National Institute of Health? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do they know? | ||
| Nothing, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Don't trust anybody, man. | ||
| I'm going Eddie Bravo on this bitch. | ||
| They're all lying. | ||
| Liars! | ||
| They're all in bed with the fucking dye company. | ||
| For chicks, the head shave is a scary move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a scary move. | ||
| Some gangster gals have done that during isolation. | ||
| They've shaved their fucking heads. | ||
| Gone with a crew cut. | ||
| Start wearing wigs. | ||
| Girls can wear wigs, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Girls can wear wigs. | ||
| Guys cannot. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I got a pretty good wig right now. | ||
| Girls can do whatever they want. | ||
| We'll still fuck them. | ||
| Imagine if guys had fake tits. | ||
| Girls would be like, what are you doing? | ||
| Those aren't even real muscles. | ||
| They're way more picky than we are. | ||
| If they have fake boobs, we're like, awesome. | ||
| We don't even care if they're fake. | ||
| We know they're fake. | ||
| It means nothing. | ||
| It's not like we need to be tricked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're so stupid, we're like, oh, look, you got water bag. | |
| Make them poke out more and like better. | ||
| We like the fact that they look fake as fuck. | ||
| It's like there's a shape burned into our DNA, and that shape is plump tits. | ||
| And whatever you need to do to get to that, But if a guy had some plastic rod in his cock that stretched it out and made it harder, if women found out about that, they'd be like, Ew! | ||
| Yuck! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dudes are not allowed to have fake hogs. | ||
| Would a woman prefer anything fake on a guy? | ||
| Do they like anything at all? | ||
| I'm sure some women... | ||
| Yeah, attention spam. | ||
| They want you to pretend. | ||
| They want you to pretend you give a fuck about their dumb stories. | ||
| You gotta sit there, oh, and then she said that, huh? | ||
| That's what some women like. | ||
| And some women don't even like that. | ||
| See? | ||
| Can't generalize. | ||
| Don't be a sexist pig, Jamie. | ||
| So embarrassing to be on this podcast and you say something so sexist. | ||
| There's dudes that'll do that. | ||
| They'll throw you right under the bus. | ||
| Be very careful of those people. | ||
| Very careful of those gender traitors. | ||
| Those guys who they know you're fucking around, they'll throw you in front of the bus. | ||
| Right in front of the ladies. | ||
| Why will they do that? | ||
| Because they're weak cunts, and there's a lot of them out there. | ||
| And those are the ones that don't have guns, I bet, right now. | ||
| Those are the ones. | ||
| Those are the ones that are 13th in line at the gun store, and it's 10 to 5, and they know they're not going to make it. | ||
| Did they close them? | ||
| Does the gun store say that? | ||
| No, they're 24 hours. | ||
| They give away guns. | ||
| They drop them out of helicopters through the roof, and then they just distribute them evenly. | ||
| They were supposed to close them, and then they didn't in Burbank, and then they said they were going to just raid the place if they don't close them, and then I think Trump just said yesterday or two days ago that it's considered... | ||
| Yeah, essential. | ||
| Essential! | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Gotta have a pistola! | ||
| But Burbank police are like, we're not even going to mess with this. | ||
| We don't care. | ||
| They're not arresting anybody for anything. | ||
| We're over here. | ||
| Just let us know if shit gets really crazy. | ||
| Mad Max! | ||
| Do you play the new Doom yet? | ||
| Scared. | ||
| Oh my god, it's scary. | ||
| I gotta say, I was a little disappointed that they didn't have deathmatch. | ||
| They didn't have one-on-one deathmatch. | ||
| They don't? | ||
| No. | ||
| They don't have, like, you versus a bunch of people in a room just killing each other. | ||
| I thought they had that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They don't, right? | ||
| It's like two working again. | ||
| It's a new type of multiplayer mode. | ||
| I hope they come to their senses. | ||
| They could. | ||
| It could be a downloadable content. | ||
| I just got the new Half-Life. | ||
| You were big in the Half-Life back in the day, right? | ||
| Yeah, I heard it's in VR now. | ||
| Oh my shit, dude. | ||
| Did you get it in VR? I got it in VR and I got the finger tracking so I could sit there and pick out a single bullet and put it in, you know, type shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So the gloves? | ||
| You have gloves? | ||
| No, it's just like these controllers. | ||
| They slip over the fingertips? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what's weird is that I got the Vive Index, which is like the highest-end one you can get. | ||
| And it's so real that it's like the first time where I felt like I was in a room. | ||
| Before, it's always like, I'm in a room in VR. This is too realistic. | ||
| There was a part where I had to open this old elevator. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not walking there! | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| How's the definition? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You're both nodding very vigorously. | ||
| It's so real that I was too scared to walk in the elevator because I hate elevators. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| It's scary though. | ||
| Well, I'm hoping that Doom does that. | ||
| What we did see at Doom looks fucking amazing. | ||
| It looks amazing. | ||
| The fucking graphics are off the chart. | ||
| The gameplay looks really cool. | ||
| The weapons look fucking totally badass. | ||
| But if they did that in VR, Oh my god. | ||
| They do have a Doom in VR. But that? | ||
| Yeah, it's not quite there yet. | ||
| Or close to what you're talking about. | ||
| If they did Doom Eternal in VR, and you put that bitch in a warehouse, and you run through the game in a couple hours, too much cowers you would burn, the world would be ripped. | ||
| We get people in such good shape. | ||
| Because if you had something like Doom, right? | ||
| And you're in a warehouse. | ||
| Like I told you they do with Sandbox. | ||
| Sandbox has a bunch of dope games like that. | ||
| But they don't have anything that goes on for like three hours. | ||
| Or if there was a place where you could go, we could get blocks of time. | ||
| Like, yeah, I reserved, you know, Warehouse 4 from 9 to 12. And it's you and like five friends. | ||
| And you have three fucking hours. | ||
| Three hours. | ||
| With fake guns and resources and you drink real water and you're wandering around this warehouse. | ||
| You gotta try Half-Life. | ||
| What if they had a virtual toilet? | ||
| You don't even take your VR off to piss. | ||
| You walk up to a toilet. | ||
| It's a real toilet. | ||
| They have these suits now you can buy that you put on that vibrate so you feel things and you could be in a game and you could feel water, like water drops hit you and stuff. | ||
| And they have all these trackers now that you can put... | ||
| And you can do that with Doom? | ||
| I mean, with Half-Life? | ||
| You could almost do it to any game if you know what you're doing. | ||
| That's a problem, man. | ||
| There's a lot of PC shit involved with having VR. The Vive Quest, I think it's called, where you don't have any PC, you just put it on. | ||
| That's the future. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But right now, you still have to hook it up to a nice PC. Dude, we got Oculus on one of the Oculus ones. | |
| It's the one that's really dope because it's just a headset and it works off of an iPad. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the one where you walk the plank. | ||
| Oh, that's the scariest shit ever. | ||
| Yeah, I have that fucked up. | ||
| But the new stuff, I unfortunately still have cameras everywhere tracking. | ||
| But you can lay down in it. | ||
| If you see something, you can lean in and pick something out. | ||
| It's room scale, so you're walking. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, this is the future. | ||
| The future is you're not gonna have a life. | ||
| You're gonna get sucked into those things and you're gonna be playing them all day long because it's gonna be way better than life. | ||
| You're gonna be working your shit job at the Amazon warehouse, can't wait to go home, and you're gonna get home, strap that fucking headset on, and party! | ||
| When you're trapped inside, it gives you more space to explore, which is like probably a little bit of a mental escape. | ||
| Well, I think this is also going to open up a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True. | |
| I think in the future, a lot more people are going to be using video conferencing and stuff like that instead of meetings because we realize how way better this is. | ||
| Instead of meeting and going to this business and working, you can just sit there and talk nowadays. | ||
| I don't know why people don't Skype more or use this technology. | ||
| Well, I think people want to go outside and experience life and still want to meet in a building to work together. | ||
| I think people still like that. | ||
| Do you think this is going to change anything like that? | ||
| Yeah, man! | ||
| Everyone's going to be afraid! | ||
| How long is it going to be before you can just hug a stranger? | ||
| Dude, college is going to change? | ||
| Because, like, how many kids are learning right now, and they're like, ah, what the fuck was I going to a fucking lecture for? | ||
| Oh, they're so scared. | ||
| Everyone's going to be so scared. | ||
| Concerts. | ||
| But meanwhile, the last big concert that I saw was, um... | ||
| Who the fuck was it in Denver? | ||
| They got in trouble. | ||
| Always tired. | ||
| Always tired. | ||
| Tattoo... | ||
| Post Malone. | ||
| Post Malone. | ||
| This weed is too strong. | ||
| I just had four extra hits for some strange reason. | ||
| He did a show in Denver. | ||
| He was like one of the last ones to do it. | ||
| I was looking out and it was like, you know, 18,000 people or some shit at the Pepsi Center. | ||
| I looked out there and I'm like, wow, that's a lot of people that could get it. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| All those spring breakers stacked on top of each other after that. | ||
| Someone used some computer program to track cell phone data, and they showed all these people on a little teeny part of Fort Lauderdale Beach over a two day period, and then watched their cell phones disperse across the country. | ||
| And see where the disease is going? | ||
| They fucking took off everywhere. | ||
| Not that everyone there had a disease, but they're just showing you how fast it goes. | ||
| They have a disease. | ||
| They're all stupid. | ||
| They're all young. | ||
| They're all infected with young. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't see that, but I'm not surprised. | ||
| Well, it's weird. | ||
| April 1st was like, you know, when this first shit first started happening. | ||
| I think the comedy story, like, we're going to be closing until around April 1st, you know? | ||
| Now that's not going to happen. | ||
| This might be May. | ||
| I think the governor said he wants two months, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did he say two months from now or two months total? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Two months from now. | ||
| I think it's from now. | ||
| From now. | ||
| So, June. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| If you were a waiter, I know when I was a waiter for 10 years, I went paycheck to paycheck. | ||
| The real problem is unemployment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they have to be honest, too, about the tips. | ||
| Okay, so these are all their cell phones? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're zooming in on a... | ||
| They combine two data sets to show... | ||
| This is what companies actually use for tracking advertising stuff. | ||
| Normally. | ||
| But this company's tried to show how fast shit can spread. | ||
| So they're showing a little heat map of cell phones on a little piece of a beach here in Florida. | ||
| And then they take all of those data points and then he makes the timeline go ahead a couple days and you just watch them spread from there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it's fucking nuts. | ||
| So it's not even that many of them. | ||
| It's probably a couple thousand. | ||
| I think it said it was 6,000 of them or 5,500 of them maybe. | ||
| And then he just says, let's timeline go ahead a little bit. | ||
| And those that want to see this, you can look up a Twitter account called tectonicsgeo. | ||
| How interesting. | ||
| And you'll see the video there. | ||
| Look how far it spreads. | ||
| I mean, it's half the country. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know what's also crazy? | ||
| It really is the cell phone. | ||
| Because the cell phone is so dirty. | ||
| Who cleans their cell phone? | ||
| You touch your ass. | ||
| You touch your cell phone. | ||
| You touch your dick. | ||
| You touch your cell phone. | ||
| You touch your nose. | ||
| You touch your cell phone. | ||
| You put your cell phone on the table where someone else's cell phone was. | ||
| You put your cell phone in your pocket. | ||
| You fart on it. | ||
| You put your cell phone in your car. | ||
| Your car is disgusting. | ||
| And even when it's dirty, I know that if I have something crunchy on my screen, it's not like I'm clean, I'm just like... | ||
| It's annoying to scratch it off there. | ||
| I'm not washing my cell phone, but I'm going to start washing it. | ||
| One thing good is I got the iPhone 11. It's IP68. So if you don't have a phone, that's waterproof. | ||
| Do you have the green one? | ||
| I'll bring him in. | ||
| I have some Windex specifically for electronics wipes. | ||
| Thank God, but it's too late! | ||
| Get that phone cleaner I got, man. | ||
| Yeah, maybe that's a move. | ||
| Everybody puts their phone in a heater, a microwave. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What kind of light is it? | ||
| Ultraviolet light? | ||
| The same as that thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| Kills their DNA. That seems really malicious. | ||
| Why don't we just all replace our light bulbs with these lights? | ||
| Dude! | ||
| Well, some guy was saying that we should carry around these ozone things. | ||
| There's a thing that deer hunters have been using forever, and it's an ozone spray. | ||
| So you stand there, and this ozone bath washes over you. | ||
| So even if deer are coming upwind, so they're walking into the wind, and your smell is blowing in their face, your smell is covered by this ozone. | ||
| Ozone spray. | ||
| That's what stoners used to buy from waterbeds and stuff and spray in their rental cars after they're returning them. | ||
| I don't know if that was Real Ozone, but that was the name of the brand. | ||
| Ozium, that's pretty close. | ||
| Yeah, Ozium. | ||
| But Real Ozone, it actually does, on some levels, mask your scent. | ||
| You can see a deer smell it. | ||
| They get confused. | ||
| Because if a deer smell you, they just get the fuck out. | ||
| We stink to deer. | ||
| That's the number one tool that they have to get away from humans is smell. | ||
| Because they don't see you from like 500 yards away. | ||
| You're not an immediate threat. | ||
| You're all the way over there. | ||
| You're moving. | ||
| They might go, oh, what is that? | ||
| Let me get the fuck out of here. | ||
| But they're generally confident that at 500 yards away from you, they can kind of get away from you quick enough. | ||
| But if you're close to them and they smell you... | ||
| They fucking run. | ||
| They run, dude. | ||
| They run. | ||
| Like, if you're in... | ||
| Close meaning, realistically, they can smell you a couple hundred yards, 300 yards. | ||
| The wind comes to them. | ||
| It catches them. | ||
| They see it, and they just start bouncing away. | ||
| They run away. | ||
| We stink. | ||
| We smell like meat. | ||
| We smell like something that eats meat. | ||
| You know, we smell like a predator. | ||
| We smell gross. | ||
| So they're like, fuck! | ||
| Imagine someone you can smell the way you smell skunk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| If you smelled a person, like, over the top of a hill, like a wind gusts you, like, you smell that? | ||
| Fuck, we gotta get out of here. | ||
| That's what it's like to them. | ||
| It's like if skunks were murderous animals looking to shoot at you. | ||
| Or being in India. | ||
| In India? | ||
| Why in India? | ||
| Because you could smell people in India. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Especially now. | ||
| They can't even leave the house. | ||
| You see in India where they're attacking them? | ||
| If you're in the streets, they're just beating the shit out of it, like the police. | ||
| There's a bunch of different countries that are going to do that. | ||
| The China one was the scariest, man, when they're dragging those people away. | ||
| I was like, what is going on? | ||
| I guess there's photos outside of our hospitals here in Los Angeles of just semis filled with bodies. | ||
| Somebody posted the other day. | ||
| How many people have died in Los Angeles? | ||
| Not that much, so I don't know. | ||
| You sure they weren't caskets? | ||
| I think it's because they have the virus and they died of the virus. | ||
| They have to keep them separate from regular... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| What's your take on this? | ||
| Give me the Brian Redband take. | ||
| When do we get out of this? | ||
| I think we're in it for a lot longer than we think. | ||
| I think like a good two more months, maybe max. | ||
| And I think we are... | ||
| I think this is just fucking weird. | ||
| Does this set a precedent, do you think? | ||
| I think there's a lot of depression issues. | ||
| I know a lot of people... | ||
| If I was single right now, I would not be able to take this. | ||
| Disturbing video shows dead bodies loaded onto truck outside New York City hospitals. | ||
| New York. | ||
| So it's a freezer check, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But here's my question. | ||
| What if the flu next year is particularly vicious? | ||
| Are we going to do this all over again? | ||
| This is the question. | ||
| So this could come back in the fall, that Dr. Fauci guy sang. | ||
| It could come back in the fall. | ||
| And how long are they singing on The Cure? | ||
| Well, they don't even think they can come up with a vaccine for 16 to 18 months, right? | ||
| That's what they said? | ||
| Because of how they do the testing and whatnot. | ||
| I think they said 18 months. | ||
| It's like they're hopeful for a year and a half. | ||
| Can't they do like what China did when they built those hospitals? | ||
| Get like every single person in the world together and be like, let's all figure this out in a month? | ||
| I don't know if they can. | ||
| I don't know if they can, man. | ||
| I know everyone's donating their computer processing power right now to try to find a cure for it. | ||
| I don't know if you saw that. | ||
| There's that where you could install that thing on your computer. | ||
| And so when you're not using it, it's using your computer to help cloud-based find a thing. | ||
| And I wonder if everyone did that. | ||
| Well, I mean, they need to do clinical trials. | ||
| Clinical trials take time. | ||
| So if they do this chloroquine stuff or some other things that they come up with, they have to try them on animals. | ||
| They have to figure out whether or not it would work on people, and then they have to try it on people. | ||
| There's a whole process that they have to go through. | ||
| It's not like there's some miracle that they're holding back on. | ||
| That's what's so scary about this shit. | ||
| When we were at the CDC in Galveston, Texas, Duncan and I went down there, and I think it's the Center for Disease Control. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| It's this building where they house everything that'll kill you. | ||
| Ebola. | ||
| All kinds of shit that'll just kill everybody. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| In this big-ass building. | ||
| Super thick walls and vacuum. | ||
| They were explaining how they suck all the air out of the room. | ||
| They have vacuum hoses and these guys are built like, you know, they have these suits that are built like astronaut suits, like they're on the moon. | ||
| It's crazy protection that they have. | ||
| And then they're working with these viruses and these deadly diseases. | ||
| I'm like, oh! | ||
| That's like a bad idea. | ||
| Oh my god, it's so terrifying. | ||
| Talking to him, me and Duncan both freaked out because at first we were thinking, what if Russia... | ||
| Came up with some kind of crazy disease and turned it on the world. | ||
| You know, we were scared of that. | ||
| Like, what about weaponized viruses? | ||
| What about that? | ||
| And they were like, yeah, yeah, that can happen. | ||
| But you know what's happening all the time? | ||
| New viruses. | ||
| They're like, what we're really scared of is shit like the Spanish flu. | ||
| Or H1N1 or all these different flus that just show up and wipe out people in a different way. | ||
| Like the Spanish flu particularly killed young men, like really healthy men with really good immune systems for whatever reason. | ||
| Those are the ones that got jacked. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| It was like a weird, like this one kind of, it's not as bad for young people, but it's much worse for old people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Some of them vary. | ||
| Some of them are really bad for young people. | ||
| Yeah, some of it's random. | ||
| Yeah, and he was really scared of that. | ||
| He was like, this is what we're concerned about. | ||
| We're concerned about nature itself. | ||
| We're not concerned about people making some sort of a weaponized virus. | ||
| He's like, that would be terrible. | ||
| But what we're concerned with is what's happening all the time. | ||
| These viruses are mutating and morphing and changing and becoming more powerful and resistant to antibiotics and like, whoa! | ||
| Bro! | ||
| He scared the shit out of both of us. | ||
| We walked out of there and we're like, man. | ||
| It just made us realize, like, oh, this just hasn't happened in our lifetime. | ||
| Like, you know, in a way that we're confronted with it until now. | ||
| You know, now it's happening. | ||
| There's some new thing that we don't have a cure for, you know? | ||
| Then you add internet and social media to that and it's just panic. | ||
| You're not just seeing the news every night. | ||
| And there's value in it. | ||
| If you freak people out, they'll click on links. | ||
| If they click on the links, you get all the ad revenue. | ||
| If you're writing some sensationalist story that's real clickbaity with a clickbaity title, people jump to it and then you get those ad clicks. | ||
| So you're encouraged to make these sensationalist stories that are interesting to read. | ||
| And I'm as guilty as anybody. | ||
| If I see something ridiculous, I'm like, what? | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| What? | ||
| What did she do? | ||
| Where did she get that money? | ||
| And I'll go click on it too. | ||
| And then when I'm disappointed, I'm like, oh. | ||
| How many people read the whole thing? | ||
| Yeah, I read something the other day that I think was clickbait and not real about how meth might fight the coronavirus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you read that? | |
| Me and Eddie Bravo used to always joke about how there's no one who's like a meth proponent, like a weed proponent. | ||
| There's no one out there. | ||
| People try to evangelize with weed, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, tons. | ||
| And mushrooms. | ||
| Oh yeah, mushrooms. | ||
| Me, I'm guilty of that. | ||
| All of us do. | ||
| But you have something that you think is spectacular and you want other people to try it. | ||
| We were like, does anybody do that with meth? | ||
| If anybody's like, dude, you want to clean your fucking apartment? | ||
| Yeah, there's cokeheads that doesn't seem as bad, because there is medical purposes for cocaine, but yet meth, there's nothing for meth. | ||
| Well, there is. | ||
| Numbing agents. | ||
| Adderall's pretty close. | ||
| That's what I was going to say. | ||
| If you called meth Adderall, then you definitely have lots of proponents for it. | ||
| Yeah, dude, Adderall is real close to meth. | ||
| And I know multiple people that have a real issue with that stuff. | ||
| Some of them that have completely lost their mind. | ||
| The Adderall is like any other thing where you're perturbing your natural state all the time. | ||
| Like, your balance gets off. | ||
| You don't know where you are. | ||
| You don't know what you're doing. | ||
| You don't know what you're saying. | ||
| You're saying things and then realizing that you said them after you said them. | ||
| You're talking constantly. | ||
| Like, you know what happens to those fucking Adderall heads? | ||
| They get real weird. | ||
| They get real weird. | ||
| They get angry at people that did nothing to them. | ||
| They think there's conspiracies. | ||
| They think there's helicopters flying around looking for them. | ||
| They get meth-y. | ||
| They get real meth-y, especially if they're abusing it. | ||
| And most are, it seems like. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| A lot of them are taking it off-label. | ||
| A lot of them are just taking it recreationally. | ||
| They're just taking it because they want a little juice. | ||
| Is there any ice in there? | ||
| Yeah, there's ice in there. | ||
| And cooties. | ||
| There's probably cooties in those ice. | ||
| Don't reach your hands in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| These are pretty good, these little CBD. Oh, they're the shit. | ||
| 25 milligrams of CBD in each one of them. | ||
| I'm super addicted. | ||
| Mango Tango. | ||
| Kill Cliff. | ||
| Yeah, this is the new flavor, the Mango Tango flavor. | ||
| There's a bunch of new ones. | ||
| I like mango and things, but raw mango, it feels like new carpet, like chemical taste. | ||
| See, that's just because you smoke. | ||
| Is that why it opens up something weird? | ||
| Yeah, it's murdered your taste buds. | ||
| Mango's delicious. | ||
| How often do you smoke cigarettes, though? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| I mean, this jewel is my favorite thing ever. | ||
| Look, you got a little... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God! | |
| We're gonna die! | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Just sorry about that. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| Don't put that back in your glass! | ||
| Oh, I'm not gonna drink that. | ||
| Oh, I was like, you're a fucking savage. | ||
| He's got cigar butts in there and shit. | ||
| He's like, we're back on Fear Factor. | ||
| What were you saying? | ||
| No, like, these jewels, I mean, I got really into the jewels, and it seems, you know, I used to, when I smoked, I would wake up in the morning and, like, breathe, like, I could feel the cigarette in my lungs, and, like, I don't have that anymore, but I also notice I suck on this thing all day like it's a lollipop, you know, and that cannot be good. | ||
| Well, I found out from Adam Curry what the fucking lowdown is. | ||
| Adam Curry, you know, the original guy who came up with podcasts. | ||
| Podcasting, yeah. | ||
| He's the Mac Daddy, the OG. He's like our Lucy. | ||
| Like Lucy that... | ||
| Was that fake? | ||
| Was Lucy faked? | ||
| Lucy. | ||
| Do you know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Lucy's the first fossil of mankind, humankind, a woman, that they found who's like one of the first recognizable homo sapiens, I think, or one of our ancestors, one of the first recognizable ancestors, but someone said that there's something faked about it, that there was a recent controversy, and I didn't look into it, but I'm remembering it right now. | ||
| Was Adam before Leo? | ||
| Remember Leo? | ||
| Well, he was on that show. | ||
| Well, Leo was on that show. | ||
| Screensavers. | ||
| I fucking loved that show. | ||
| I was a nerd. | ||
| That was my super nerd days, too. | ||
| That was the days when I was actually making computers. | ||
| I would go and buy all the parts and put computers together and shit. | ||
| I loved that show. | ||
| But Adam started his shit... | ||
| I mean, he gave us the whole timeline on the show, but it's super clear he's the first. | ||
| If he wasn't the first, he's the first that survived that's still around today for sure. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He preceded us by many years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he had an idea to do this shit back when he was on MTV. He just happened to be beautiful. | ||
| He's like a super nerdy guy who just happened to be beautiful when he was young. | ||
| You know, because you would kind of dismiss him as being a pretty boy. | ||
| But he's a genius. | ||
| Brilliant guy. | ||
| And I really, really dug talking to him. | ||
| Like, he's really cool. | ||
| You would like him too, man. | ||
| He's super cool and super fucking smart. | ||
| And super tuned in to all aspects of privacy and the internet. | ||
| And, you know, he's telling us about... | ||
| Phones, they're making these new phones that are Linux-based phones that are completely private. | ||
| They don't send any data to anywhere. | ||
| He's into that kind of shit. | ||
| He's into those laptops that Snowden uses that have kill switches on them so you can kill the microphone and kill the, with an actual physical switch, kill the webcam. | ||
| Yeah, I like all those old MTV, like Matt Penfield, remember him? | ||
| The guy did Headbangers Ball. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The bald guy. | ||
| And all those old MTV, we grew up with them. | ||
| Those were our DJs, our video DJs. | ||
| Do you remember Kennedy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's a Fox News Republican pundit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Does she look the same? | ||
| Does she have the sexy glasses? | ||
| She looks great. | ||
| She looks really good considering how long she's been on television for. | ||
| She's got to be at least my age. | ||
| She definitely looks better than Puck, right? | ||
| I haven't seen that poor guy. | ||
| He had a rough go of it. | ||
| Kennedy is on... | ||
| She's still on MTV, right? | ||
| I mean on Fox News, right? | ||
| Was? | ||
| She's not anymore? | ||
| Currently on hiatus. | ||
| On hiatus. | ||
| Did she get in trouble? | ||
| No, it's coronavirus programming. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's all webcams and shit. | ||
| They're all going to just give up and start doing podcasts. | ||
| They're going to realize you fucked up. | ||
| All that Fox News stuff and all that being in a studio. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| News is so stupid. | ||
| I love how they're sitting farther apart, but they're sitting two feet away. | ||
| All right, come on. | ||
| Social distancing responsibly. | ||
| The local NBC channel, they're all over at somebody's house. | ||
| And you can tell it's the same house because it's the same lighting, and they're obviously not going to have a cameraman at three different houses. | ||
| So they have one guy in the living room, one guy in the dining room, and then the bee reporter guy, he's sitting in front of a garbage can in the kitchen. | ||
| Imagine if the coronavirus forced everyone into doing podcasts and all regular television died. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| I hope. | ||
| It's close, but people still rely on those big names. | ||
| I want to hear what the BBC has to say about it. | ||
| I want to see what NBC says. | ||
| It's pretty amazing how much I watch YouTube more than I watch TV nowadays. | ||
| Everything is YouTube now. | ||
| I subscribe to people. | ||
| Every day I'm like, oh, I want to see the latest episode. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| I waste a lot of fucking time on it, too. | ||
| Looking at car videos. | ||
| Looking at old hot rod videos and stuff. | ||
| Rich Rebuilds. | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| Shit, I was going to ask you a question. | ||
| Everything's going on podcasts. | ||
| Kennedy. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| In and out. | ||
| In and out of my brain. | ||
| It had something to do with these shows. | ||
| How many people are doing podcasts now? | ||
| Switching everything. | ||
| You're not helping. | ||
| I got way too high. | ||
| But I needed that. | ||
| Like, on a day like this, it's just too weird. | ||
| I don't want to be sober right now. | ||
| Yeah, I'm watching car videos, though. | ||
| I love watching. | ||
| I love car videos. | ||
| I love old cars that I'll never own. | ||
| I don't even want them. | ||
| But I like watching them. | ||
| Some dude driving an old Fiat the other day on a mountain road. | ||
| I was like, oh, look at that. | ||
| Looks cool. | ||
| I don't want to do that. | ||
| I just think there's something about mechanical things that people create and work on. | ||
| That's probably my favorite part about it. | ||
| I like these new cars, these companies are taking like old classic cars and then gutting a Tesla and putting all the Tesla stuff inside of it. | ||
| There's a Russian car company that's doing that now with a 1967 Mustang. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But they're building the Mustang out of pure carbon fiber. | ||
| Yeah, so it's going to be really light. | ||
| And they estimated a 0-60 of 2.2 seconds. | ||
| So you can find this. | ||
| It's a really new company that's coming out with this. | ||
| What do you have to do if you buy that and you need to get it fixed? | ||
| Do you have to take it back to them? | ||
| You've got to send it to Rich Benoit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Send it to Rich Rebuilds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the Electric Garage in Massachusetts. | ||
| Where's this place? | ||
| Give him a shout out. | ||
| I think Massachusetts sounds right. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean where in Massachusetts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| He's great, right? | ||
| He just put a video up about nipples and this little kid. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Where'd you get this? | ||
| Did he give this to you? | ||
| He gave it to me, yeah. | ||
| He added it to the collection. | ||
| I love his videos. | ||
| He keeps Tesla honest. | ||
| He keeps everybody honest. | ||
| He hates a lot though on the Model X and that kind of drives me crazy. | ||
| New Hampshire? | ||
| No, he doesn't live in New Hampshire. | ||
| Hey man, the electrified garage. | ||
| It's in New Hampshire, huh? | ||
| Weird. | ||
| I thought he was in Matt, maybe opened the garage in New Hampshire. | ||
| But he's on this thing lately where he's talking about superchargers. | ||
| Seabrook, New Hampshire. | ||
| Seabrook, New Hampshire. | ||
| Is that near the border to Massachusetts? | ||
| Because a lot of people did that. | ||
| They, like, got places. | ||
| I had friends who got houses in New Hampshire because it was cheaper. | ||
| And you can get, like, a fucking yard filled with bears. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| New Hampshire's the woods, bro. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| I did a girl from New Hampshire. | ||
| Yeah, it's just over the border from Massachusetts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Woods people. | ||
| Woods people. | ||
| The real woods people are Maine people. | ||
| There was one story that I was reading about where these fucking guys were working during construction in Maine and they rented a house. | ||
| And the neighbors had decided that these people might have the corona. | ||
| And so they've been there since September. | ||
| They've been in the fucking town since September working on a construction site. | ||
| So they chopped a tree down and blocked their fucking driveway and threatened them with guns. | ||
| They have to quarantine them. | ||
| They're forcing them to quarantine. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Group of local vigilantes try to forcibly quarantine out of towners. | ||
| That's Maine for you. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| That's Maine for you. | ||
| Dude, Maine is a strange place. | ||
| It's a strange place. | ||
| You ain't never seen drunk. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| You never seen drunk until you seen like a bar in Bangor. | ||
| Those people get throw down. | ||
| And they're all in that, you know, they're in that brutal, brutal, brutal cold, brutal cold for a long time. | ||
| They went to the mainland and were targeted because of their license plate when they arrived back in Vinalhaven. | ||
| An exchange between roommates and some local residents apparently didn't go well, she said, adding that a group of local vigilantes decided to take matters into their own hands and barricade these guys into their rental property. | ||
| Mrs. McDonald called the commotion a tremendous waste of resources, noting that it had drawn a response from several officials. | ||
| So silly. | ||
| But that's Maine. | ||
| There's a lot of dummies up there. | ||
| A lot of nice people, don't get me wrong, but you know there's a lot of dummies up there. | ||
| They call them maniacs, and they get real mad if you make fun of Maine. | ||
| I had a guy screaming at me. | ||
| I was telling Maine jokes in Maine. | ||
| And he was screaming. | ||
| He was standing up and he was an old dude, too, pointing at me, screaming. | ||
| Like, he really identified with Maine. | ||
| And I was trying to understand. | ||
| I go, do you identify with Maine? | ||
| Do you think I'm talking about you? | ||
| What's going on here, man? | ||
| Why are you mad? | ||
| I was making fun of the number of people that were shot by deer in Maine. | ||
| Shot by a deer? | ||
| Or shot hunting deer. | ||
| And mistaken for a deer. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Shot by a deer. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And I was making this joke about it, like, I mean, how many fucking people live here? | ||
| And this guy got up, I fucking live here, screaming at me. | ||
| I was like, whoa, buddy. | ||
| These are just jokes. | ||
| It doesn't make this a lot better, but this thing in Maine, it's a small island town. | ||
| Oh, even worse. | ||
| That's why they're saying get back to the mainland. | ||
| I was like, why are they saying mainland? | ||
| Because they're thinking someone came over there with the cooties. | ||
| But those guys have been there since September. | ||
| These people are just idiots. | ||
| Dude, islands are weird, man. | ||
| I did a gig once on Block Island. | ||
| Block Island is like outside of Rhode Island, I believe. | ||
| It was the worst gig I ever did. | ||
| I mean, even to this day, I think back, I'm like, you can't get worse. | ||
| You only get different. | ||
| The place was, they were sedated. | ||
| I mean like everyone in the bar was plastered. | ||
| Like at a level where they couldn't even communicate. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. | ||
| Me and this kid, Scott Papakuri, he booked it. | ||
| Me and him went there. | ||
| He was the opener and I was the closer. | ||
| We both sucked and it was like 1989 and we were sleeping in a storage area like with containers of like fucking green beans and cans of peas. | ||
| Dry storage? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So there's like racks and on the ground there was like these beds and we had to sleep in these beds that were in a storage unit. | ||
| I'm not bullshitting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| There was no hotel room. | ||
| There was a toilet. | ||
| You could take a shit. | ||
| You could wash your hands. | ||
| There was no bathroom, no shower. | ||
| I was like, this is the craziest gig ever. | ||
| And they were mad at us. | ||
| Because I forget what he had said. | ||
| But by the time he had gotten off stage, the show was basically over. | ||
| They had shut the show down. | ||
| I don't even remember if I got to tell a joke. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I don't even think I did. | ||
| I think I might have started my act and they stopped everything right as he was getting off stage. | ||
| And I didn't realize what was going on. | ||
| But they didn't like his language or subject matter or whatever. | ||
| It was for sure mocking the drunks. | ||
| Because they were like this. | ||
| This fucking show sucks! | ||
| I mean, they were so drunk, dude. | ||
| Like, no one could sit up straight. | ||
| Everyone was like... | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| They were like sedated. | ||
| They were like... | ||
| And there was only maybe 20 people in the whole bar. | ||
| I hate bar shits. | ||
| And we came over there on a ferry to do this terrible comedy show. | ||
| I was going to ask, it seems like a place like Put-In-Bay. | ||
| Put-In-Bay. | ||
| Yeah, we got stuck, man. | ||
| We couldn't go back. | ||
| We had stuck. | ||
| We couldn't go back until the morning. | ||
| Then we went back in the morning. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| That was a rough one. | ||
| But that's an island. | ||
| Like, you get those people that just live on this little island and they just get hammered together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a few of those islands. | ||
| It's not a happy island. | ||
| You think of island life, you think of, like, Kauai, you know, where Laird Hamilton is surfing Kauai. | ||
| I know, cold islands are not the same. | ||
| No, cold islands are different. | ||
| You don't get no Gabby Reese on them cold islands. | ||
| I heard Hawaii didn't have any coronavirus and they closed off Hawaii. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| They should. | ||
| Good move for them. | ||
| Shut it down if you can afford it. | ||
| Because people coming over, they're going to bring it. | ||
| The question is, what if they bring just, you know... | ||
| What if they bring it and it doesn't affect them the way it affects everybody else? | ||
| They have a few. | ||
| They have a few cases? | ||
| Up to 175 now. | ||
| You heard about Germany? | ||
| No. | ||
| Exceptionally low mortality rates, like less than somewhere in the neighborhood of one-tenth of one percent, less than everywhere else. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's, I believe, Sweden. | ||
| And Sweden, in an experiment, they're not shutting down anything. | ||
| They're not shutting down, yeah, they're not shutting down restaurants or schools or anything. | ||
| That could go bad fast. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Yeah, how are they doing right now? | ||
| Maybe they're looking at it the same way Germany's looking at it. | ||
| Yeah, but the whole thing is overfilling the hospitals all at once and not being able to treat people. | ||
| Right, and that's why they die, because they don't get the right treatment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| I mean, there's no fucking real answer to this thing. | ||
| It affects people so differently. | ||
| Some people get it and it's almost nothing. | ||
| And some people apparently in Wuhan are testing positive again. | ||
| So they test negative, they get it, they get over it, they test negative, then they test positive again. | ||
| But they're asymptomatic. | ||
| They're asymptomatic, but it's still active. | ||
| That's what people are scared of. | ||
| That it's going to be a certain percentage of the population for whatever reason aren't going to show any signs of this virus. | ||
| And those people are going to spread it to everyone around them and not even know they're doing it. | ||
| But in a sense, we kind of all are doing that. | ||
| If you're around any people that go anywhere other than at your house, like if you go to the store, like if you're going to the store and we're all going to the store, bro. | ||
| You don't know what you're running into. | ||
| You're going to the store. | ||
| I mean, you hopefully are not going to catch anything at the store, but this stuff lives in the air. | ||
| People are breathing. | ||
| If you just... | ||
| I don't know how much it takes, how much particulate matter has to be in the air before it can get into your mouth. | ||
| Ooh, look at that. | ||
| A Bain mask. | ||
| And it has the filters. | ||
| Do you wear that when you fuck? | ||
| Don't lie. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| Sounds sexy anymore? | ||
| I was lucky. | ||
| I bought these things before the virus because of allergies. | ||
| Are those good? | ||
| Well, this has the filters in it, the charcoal filters and all that. | ||
| I don't know if it does anything. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure. | ||
| The charcoal filters do a lot. | ||
| Yeah, it's replaceable filters. | ||
| Sounds good. | ||
| But it makes me feel better when I'm in public. | ||
| Just like the other day, I was at the grocery store, and of all people, an old Chinese lady starts coughing ridiculous. | ||
| And the whole grocery store was quiet, all looked over at once, just stared at her. | ||
| Because she was not even covering her face. | ||
| She was just coughing up in the air. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And I was like, thank God I had this. | ||
| I pulled out. | ||
| And it at least makes me feel better. | ||
| But I think the particles fall directly to the ground. | ||
| They're a thicker water, so it doesn't even matter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was trying to get my family to watch World War Z or 28 Days Later. | ||
| They passed on both of them. | ||
| You got Shaun of the Dead. | ||
| I was like, World War Z is rated PG. It's PG-13. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Shaun of the Dead's a good one. | ||
| Yeah, but World War Z is ferocious. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That scared the shit out of me. | ||
| I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about this guy that got bit by a mountain lion that was rabid. | ||
| And any animal that's rabid will be like real aggressive and they'll go after you. | ||
| I'm like, just think about that because it's kind of like what it is to be a 28 Days Later zombie type character, right? | ||
| You just want to bite people to give them the disease. | ||
| And that's kind of like a rat who has rabies is trying to do it. | ||
| Chasing a cat. | ||
| Yeah, or you. | ||
| Something like a raccoon trying to bite these people that I was reading about. | ||
| It turned out the raccoon had rabies. | ||
| When they have rabies, they want to give it away. | ||
| That's what the virus is doing or the disease is doing. | ||
| It's trying to get in another host. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it makes you go, go get him, I want to jump into him. | |
| Imagine if something like that rage shit from 28 Days Later gets out. | ||
| It's so much scarier than what we're dealing with now, folks. | ||
| Again, we have it good in comparison to how it could be. | ||
| Asteroid showers and rage all at once. | ||
| Rage gets out of the lab. | ||
| The chimp bites the trainer. | ||
| The trainer bites the doctor. | ||
| The doctor bites the nurse. | ||
| The nurse bites her friends. | ||
| And everybody starts biting everybody. | ||
| That's 28 days later. | ||
| Bro, that's rabies. | ||
| That could happen. | ||
| Why couldn't it happen? | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| No power. | ||
| Asteroid shower. | ||
| Grid goes down. | ||
| No internet. | ||
| People start lying again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| And then rabies. | ||
| I want you to feel good about today. | ||
| Right now we're doing good, man. | ||
| We can still get gas. | ||
| We can still get food. | ||
| Yeah, but like, our internet's already stressed. | ||
| They have to take down all the Netflix and video games are going down like 720p. | ||
| There's a thing called books I want you to look into. | ||
| I want you to start reading. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck that, both of you? | ||
| Dude, my internet went out for a half hour last night and I almost freaked out. | ||
| I've set some good fitness goals. | ||
| That's what I decided to do. | ||
| I set a real good schedule of shit that I need to do, that I'm definitely going to do X amount of days per week, and I've been on that. | ||
| And I fucking love not traveling, you know? | ||
| I mean, I'm sorry for everyone that's out of work. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm not being insensitive here. | ||
| I'm just telling you my life. | ||
| The positive thing about not traveling is you feel way better. | ||
| Your body's not getting beat up all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your body gets beat the fuck up when you travel every weekend. | ||
| You fly on a plane every weekend. | ||
| That's positive because we had to cancel, obviously, a bunch of shows and just being at home. | ||
| God, I love it. | ||
| No stress. | ||
| No stress. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| Petting your dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Going for a walk in your neighborhood. | ||
| All that shit's important for people. | ||
| And you don't realize, because we have this crazy life where we're always flying around, you don't realize how unsettling that is until you're home for a period of time. | ||
| We should do residencies in LA the way they do residencies in Vegas. | ||
| I guess we kind of do already at the Comedy Store. | ||
| Like, set up shop at a small theater. | ||
| Just like, I'm not going anywhere anymore. | ||
| You want to go? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| You want to travel? | ||
| We're doing shows in Burbank. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We'll buy a 500-seat theater in Burbank, do shows there every weekend. | ||
| There's one, right across the street from Bob's Big Boy. | ||
| Because you can travel. | ||
| I don't have to travel to you. | ||
| You can travel. | ||
| I'll make the tickets cheaper. | ||
| Airlines are going to be so cheap when we get back and running. | ||
| Everyone's going to be like, please fly. | ||
| Please. | ||
| We're hanging out by a thread. | ||
| Just like last night, the cheapest shit. | ||
| Cheap as shit, right? | ||
| Like, flying neck this weekend, you could buy first class for under $500. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Round trip to China was $400. | ||
| Round trip should be $400 in your bank account. | ||
| They should pay you. | ||
| They should give you foot massage the whole way and say they're sorry. | ||
| Do you think that's going to come, though? | ||
| They might shut down the airlines because that seems like a dumb thing. | ||
| Yes, of course. | ||
| They're flying around. | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| I mean, look, if you look at that cell phone map, I mean, we're doing a better job than those fucking kids are. | ||
| Those kids on the beach are doing the worst job because they're 17 and they're horny and they're drunk and they have a phone. | ||
| But if you just look at people that are traveling for business or people that are going to supermarkets, if you just look at it honestly, There's so much room for it getting out. | ||
| I definitely think it's a good move to stay in as long as possible and get as many people that are tested negative as possible so that we can save as many people as we can. | ||
| Don't get me wrong, but I am saying they're not really stopping it. | ||
| They're stopping some of it. | ||
| You're not 100% stopping it. | ||
| And they're not going to be able to either. | ||
| You know, they were talking about quarantining New York City, and Cuomo had an interesting quote. | ||
| He was like, it's almost like the federal government declaring war on states and war on cities. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| Like, if the federal government comes and says nobody leaves and nobody goes in, like, oh, fucking Christ. | ||
| Are we really doing that? | ||
| And Cuomo's like, look, that's not a good thing to do. | ||
| If you bring in the military and have tanks and shit, everybody's freaking out about next step, right? | ||
| What is next level when you say quarantine? | ||
| And now Trump is given into this idea that it's going to take until April 30th. | ||
| So he's given up on his Easter idea, and now he's saying, you know, that doesn't look realistic. | ||
| It looks more like April 30, just for the personal space guidelines. | ||
| And then he said June 1st right after that. | ||
| He's like, June looks like a great, it'll be a great time. | ||
| But what about May? | ||
| Yeah, what about May? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's June 1st sounds like a way more realistic thing then. | ||
| Dude, imagine if everybody's out of work for three months. | ||
| Do you know how nuts that's going to be? | ||
| All these people that had thriving businesses and through no fault of their own, they lost all that they worked for for decades. | ||
| All these people that are taking care of their families, all these people that are raising kids, putting kids in school, putting kids in daycare while they're at work, all that shit. | ||
| There's so much of a disruption here. | ||
| And no one knows what to do. | ||
| No one has a solution. | ||
| But people are blaming Trump. | ||
| Like, look, man, what if he was right? | ||
| What if we were on the bright side of this thing and they caught it early and his rosy predictions proved true? | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| They weren't. | ||
| But no ones were. | ||
| No one knew. | ||
| I mean, some people had a better idea than him, for sure. | ||
| But no one really knew what was going to go on. | ||
| And we're really still puzzled by some places. | ||
| Like, I was talking to this guy that was saying there's a real issue with Italy. | ||
| Because Italy's numbers are so out of whack. | ||
| You look at Germany and you look at Italy. | ||
| Italy has crazy numbers. | ||
| And they're trying to think lifestyle. | ||
| They're trying to think close proximity to family members. | ||
| They're always on top of each other. | ||
| They live a lot of people to a place. | ||
| And they social gather all the time. | ||
| And then they're smoking. | ||
| They smoke a lot of cigarettes, a lot of smoking. | ||
| And then there's also a very high population of old people. | ||
| So then they look at Germany, and this is why I always tell you, if you have a choice between an Italian car and a German car, you get a fucking German car all day. | ||
| Because Germans are very, very fucking disciplined. | ||
| And they're structured, and they think things out, and they engineer things well. | ||
| And for whatever reason, whether it's because their hospital system is better, whether it's because it's a genetic thing, whether it's because more people over there have better healthcare and they get treated quicker, their mortality rate is really low. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Have you read about Sweden? | ||
| Did you find a thing about Sweden? | ||
| What are they saying? | ||
| They have closed colleges and universities. | ||
| They've limited restaurants to like 50 people, but they are saying that people can eat in them. | ||
| Schools for kids under 16 are closed, but it's like voluntary for everything else, like voluntary lockdown. | ||
| They're expecting people to make the right decision. | ||
| That's their take on it. | ||
| What's that little thing you got there, fella? | ||
| Just charger. | ||
| Oh, I thought that was maybe one of them weird phones. | ||
| You know how they have those... | ||
| The little baby ones? | ||
| Well, they have those foldables. | ||
| Oh, I want one so bad. | ||
| Do you, though? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I want the, not the Razer, but the Samsung one. | ||
| That one looks cool. | ||
| Well, they have two Samsungs. | ||
| One that folds like a clamshell. | ||
| Yeah, the clamshell. | ||
| That's the move, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you think you could be okay with Android? | ||
| I think it would be good as a second phone. | ||
| The thing about Android, man, is those iMessage group chats and FaceTime and AirDrop. | ||
| AirDrop's huge. | ||
| They're so wise. | ||
| Apple did such a clever move in sucking us into their net. | ||
| I like it, man. | ||
| You can't get out like this. | ||
| We're the spider's web. | ||
| Because I have a Samsung phone. | ||
| I have a Galaxy Note 10. It's a great phone. | ||
| I like to use that for looking at stuff, like watching YouTube videos and stuff like that. | ||
| It's a huge screen. | ||
| It's got no bezels, basically. | ||
| And one little tiny hole punch in it. | ||
| It's killer. | ||
| And the 5G is nice. | ||
| It's nice, but I've never used it once. | ||
| It's nice that it's there. | ||
| But the thing about it is, it doesn't get AirDrop. | ||
| If someone wants to send me a picture, they have to text it to me. | ||
| I might not even get it. | ||
| The Samsung does, or I mean, Android does have their version of AirDrop, but I can never get it to work. | ||
| I don't think you can do it to Apple, and Apple can't do it to them. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| I have no problems with the iPhone. | ||
| But it's just interesting that they figured out a way to do that, to rope us into their net. | ||
| Because if they didn't rope us into their net, then it's like, you could get a really good Android phone now. | ||
| Right now, they have that Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Yeah, that looks great. | ||
| That thing is a tablet. | ||
| You're carrying around an iPad. | ||
| It's huge! | ||
| Look at that camera, though. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What is it, 108 megapixels? | ||
| Something like that, yeah. | ||
| That is so ridiculous. | ||
| And then it has 100x zoom. | ||
| If you go to digital zoom, it's like 3x optical and 100x digital. | ||
| I don't even think it's 3x optical. | ||
| I think it's something like 30 or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, because it uses a periscope, not periscope. | ||
| Telescoping lens? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a mirror. | ||
| We're both morons. | ||
| Listen to us. | ||
| We both know each other. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| But it's so big, I switched to the little iPhone. | ||
| I went to the little one. | ||
| Now, that's something I think in the future I'm going to start, because I bought my girlfriend the smaller version of the 11 Pro or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the best one. | |
| And it's way better. | ||
| It doesn't sit weird in my pocket. | ||
| That was the other thing. | ||
| Like, the big one in my front pocket, it was like, first of all, what kind of radiation am I getting on my dick? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm making some weird fucking Doctor Strange kids. | ||
| But the other thing is, like, this thing fits. | ||
| It's big enough. | ||
| Like, if I'm looking at shit, it's fucking big enough. | ||
| But it fits perfectly in your hand. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's not too heavy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've been wearing my watch a lot lately and just leaving my phone at home because I have to— Oh, you're a daredevil! | ||
| Because the number's connected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if somebody calls me or texts me, I get it on my watch. | ||
| Except Android people, you're fucked. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| They probably can call you. | ||
| You have a cell phone chip. | ||
| Yeah, they can call me. | ||
| They can text you, but they can't iMessage you? | ||
| Or does it get SMS as well? | ||
| Oh, I guess it does work on SMS. Yeah. | ||
| What am I thinking? | ||
| My sister sends me these voice-to-text checks, and I guess she does it while she's driving. | ||
| And I'm like, do you ever read these? | ||
| They're the worst interpretation of what you said. | ||
| There's no periods in any of it. | ||
| And I look through it. | ||
| I'm like, what are you saying? | ||
| She just rambles into her phone and then sends me this text message. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's busy. | ||
| She doesn't have time to read it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I'm not mad at her. | ||
| But I'm like, what in the hell? | ||
| And then I sent it to her. | ||
| I go, did you read this? | ||
| And she laughs at me. | ||
| But it's so bad. | ||
| You know, like you can't yet leave a whole conversation with somebody. | ||
| You can say a thing. | ||
| It's pretty close. | ||
| It's pretty close. | ||
| You can leave a note. | ||
| But when you want to make like a long story, first of all, my sister's from Boston, right? | ||
| She's got a Boston, heavy Boston accent, you know? | ||
| You should post these. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She got it. | |
| I had it when, no. | ||
| I had it. | ||
| I had that accent when I was 19 until I hurt myself on television. | ||
| When I was 19, I fought in the Bay State games and this local news station interviewed me and I had this terrible accent. | ||
| I was like, oh my God, listen to me. | ||
| I'm a moron. | ||
| Do you have that on video? | ||
| I wish I did. | ||
| I don't have it anymore. | ||
| There's a bunch of my old taekwondo day stuff that I used to have that I just wanted to shed when I was moving on with my life. | ||
| The only reason it was a video of me fighting at all, even online, even though I had videos, was because this guy that I knew from back in the day, he was on another team. | ||
| We knew each other back when we were both young and competing, sent me this stuff. | ||
| So this is the one video of me sending some guy flying through the air. | ||
| That's from him. | ||
| He caught that in 1987 US Cup in Connecticut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I have the medals. | ||
| I have a bunch of medals just sitting around. | ||
| I look at them every now and then and it seems like I'm lying. | ||
| They don't even look like they're mine. | ||
| They seem fake. | ||
| They seem fake. | ||
| Like I think about the Taekwondo days and I look at those things and I'm like, those are mine. | ||
| Is that really mine? | ||
| That's a planted memory, Joe. | ||
| That didn't happen. | ||
| I don't have real video of it other than that one video. | ||
| The only time I know it's real is when I kick the bag. | ||
| I'm like, oh yeah, I can do this. | ||
| It's some weird thing that I can still do. | ||
| You ever seen Chappelle do backflips? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Chappelle Lacey? | ||
| Not Dave Chappelle. | ||
| Chappelle Lacey. | ||
| Dave Chappelle can do a backflip? | ||
| Chappelle Lacey is like three Dave Chappelle's in the same height. | ||
| If you took Dave's body and packed in through, I mean, he's a fucking savage. | ||
| He's so jacked. | ||
| And he's got ridiculous athletic ability because of years of being a cheerleader. | ||
| He's a world champion cheerleader. | ||
| Dude, he throws himself through the air and you cannot believe it because he's a tank. | ||
| He's probably 230, somewhere around in that range, solid rock, and flips through the air. | ||
| Throws himself through the air. | ||
| Does backflips in the back. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| This is him. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It'll replay. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Oh, that's him. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| This is ridiculous, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| It doesn't seem possible to do that. | ||
| But if you're tiny, if you're a 135 pound person, that's one thing. | ||
| He's, I mean, no bullshit, a solid 235, 240. Built like a brick shithouse. | ||
| Look at him, he throws this girl up in the air and catches her. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Over his head. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Dang. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| He's a cheerleader? | ||
| He was a professional. | ||
| There's no real professional. | ||
| But he was a competitive world champion cheerleader. | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| Why did I bring him up? | ||
| Chappelle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn his weed. | |
| Backflip? | ||
| But before the backflip. | ||
| Dave Chappelle. | ||
| No, before that. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| We're talking about people... | ||
| No, no, it was past that. | ||
| We're talking about people who can do crazy things physically. | ||
| That's probably what it is. | ||
| That you wouldn't expect. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| But it's the same thing with him. | ||
| Like, he started doing that when he was really young. | ||
| So his body developed throwing itself through the air. | ||
| But a normal person his size, it's so hard to get air when you're that heavy. | ||
| Those guys who get air, if you see them at like a gymnastics event, they're like 160, 170 pounds. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| That's craziness. | ||
| Dude, I mean, he flies through the air. | ||
| It's like you kicking a bag. | ||
| It's kind of like that in that he's doing this because he developed his body while doing this. | ||
| And when he was real little by himself, he used to practice doing backflips and shit. | ||
| So by the time he got into cheerleading, he was already physically capable of doing that. | ||
| He grew up doing it. | ||
| And when your body grows up doing something... | ||
| We used to say that about strikers. | ||
| Some strikers... | ||
| Some people learn how to strike. | ||
| They can learn how to strike later in life. | ||
| They still pick it up pretty well just because they're real fast and explosive. | ||
| But there's a thing that guys have when they start out striking at a very early age. | ||
| Like Floyd Mayweather is a perfect example. | ||
| The really elite of the elite seem to all start out when they're young and sort of develop into fighting as their body matures, like Tyson. | ||
| Like Sugar Ray Leonard. | ||
| Like, a lot of these guys had extensive amateur backgrounds and then, you know, developed into a male professional with, you know, some of them 100-plus fights in the amateurs. | ||
| Like Vasily Lomachenko had hundreds and hundreds of fights in the amateurs and won, I think, two Olympic gold medals before he ever became professional. | ||
| And those guys, they were just head and shoulders above everybody else. | ||
| Because developing as your body's maturing and you're being coached by world-class coaches like Floyd Mayweather was, you just get this sense of this sport that other people are never going to get. | ||
| They're never going to get to your level. | ||
| You're just on this crazy level. | ||
| The only way they're going to beat you is if they catch you with a perfectly placed punch with anybody you can get hit with and you get knocked out. | ||
| But other than that, if it's just like boxing for boxing, Floyd Mayweather is a zen master. | ||
| He's got this sense of the sport that most guys just will never have. | ||
| If you watch him fight, a lot of people hate on him because he talks a lot of shit and he's got a lot of money and he wants everybody to know it. | ||
| But that's also how he sells pay-per-views, dummy. | ||
| He talks a lot of shit and you get mad and you wind up seeing him get beat but nobody can beat him. | ||
| But when he fought Canelo Alvarez, that was a real wake-up call for people because Canelo is a monster. | ||
| He's a terrifying boxer. | ||
| And Foy Mayweather just pieced him up. | ||
| Pieced him up! | ||
| Just pieced him up. | ||
| Just put on a show. | ||
| Put on a boxing clinic. | ||
| And you walk to him and you're like, wow! | ||
| He has a special understanding of that sport that I don't think you get if you start when you're 30. I don't think you ever get there. | ||
| I think you need to be already elite in your 20s if you want to get to your peak as a 30, 32-year-old athlete, somewhere in that range. | ||
| At the top of the game, at the apex, you kind of need to learn as you're a baby. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's a fucking weird thing, man. | ||
| When we get old, we suck at learning things. | ||
| You know, it's nature's way of telling you, bitch, pick a lane. | ||
| Pick something. | ||
| TikTok, get out of here! | ||
| When was the last time you tried to learn a new thing? | ||
| Like a new skill? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| Or a language? | ||
| Well, relearning PC. Are you relearning PC? Yeah. | ||
| To play games? | ||
| Virtual reality. | ||
| I tell you, it's frustrating as fuck. | ||
| I had to download a program the other day just to put a 3D model in just so I could upload it into a game. | ||
| It's so not like Mac. | ||
| You have to actually dig in and do code stuff. | ||
| Do you have to enter DOS? Do you go into DOS? I was doing whatever they're... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Terminal? | |
| Yeah, I think it is DOS. It's DOS? Yeah. | ||
| You did that? | ||
| I did something like that, yeah. | ||
| You did the command? | ||
| In Unix, or whatever it's called. | ||
| Unix is, that's what Apple's based on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah, Apple's based on Unix, right? | ||
| Mac OS. It used to be at least. | ||
| But Windows isn't Unix, right? | ||
| You're talking about a different program? | ||
| I had to download a program just to put this 3D model in, and I think it was Unix. | ||
| So you can download a Unix program on Windows? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, in Mac. | ||
| I don't do shit with my Windows computer other than write. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's my writing computer. | ||
| That's your writing computer? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| To me, it's so much... | ||
| Sloppy. | ||
| Sloppy. | ||
| There's so many windows popping up still. | ||
| There's so many dumb things. | ||
| Like, why are you asking me this? | ||
| It wants to update all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when it updates, it'll take like 20 minutes. | ||
| I'm like, you fucker. | ||
| He didn't tell me how long it was going to take. | ||
| Now I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand trying to write. | ||
| I've heard a lot of people complain about the Apple update thing too, because most people don't hit the update now and they're just like, no tomorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow. | ||
| And it keeps getting after you? | ||
| Well, those people are stupid. | ||
| It's a different animal. | ||
| We're talking about morons. | ||
| But for writing, man, you cannot, if you want to just have a laptop, you can't beat those ThinkPads. | ||
| Those Lenovo ThinkPads, the keyboards are so much better. | ||
| It makes such a big difference. | ||
| It's the whole difference. | ||
| It's the whole difference. | ||
| Because if I looked at it in terms of the quality of the screen and with the Mac ecosystem, once you're in that ecosystem, everything's sort of connected to your laptop. | ||
| But the keyboard on those Lenovos is like... | ||
| Like, you know where every key is, your fingers fit in that little groove, and when you push them down, there's like this satisfying amount of travel, and you know what you're doing. | ||
| I make so fewer errors than I do even with the new one. | ||
| I got that 16-inch one, the new one. | ||
| It still sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It still sucks. | ||
| It's better for sure than the last keyboard. | ||
| It's way better than the last one. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| But it still sucks. | ||
| Why wouldn't you make the best keyboard ever? | ||
| Why would you make a keyboard that still sucks? | ||
| When you know that those Lenovo keyboards are out there. | ||
| You know they're out there. | ||
| Somebody must have told you. | ||
| Somebody must have told you that there's a ThinkPad keyboard that's literally 500 times better than your shitty keyboard. | ||
| Or just the one they had two years ago. | ||
| Like, I give my ex or my girlfriend... | ||
| 2015. Yeah. | ||
| I gave my girlfriend my old computer and I was playing on that keyboard. | ||
| I'm like, this is way better than the 16-inch. | ||
| Like, why aren't we using this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know why? | |
| Key travel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back then, you had more key travel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I have that 17-inch. | ||
| That has a fuck load. | ||
| Is that refurbished? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Has a fuck load of key travel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I know where every key is and I press them. | ||
| And they took the guts out and put a new gut in. | ||
| Oh, that sounds great. | ||
| SSD drive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| But when you press those keys, man, there's a satisfying amount of travel. | ||
| It lets you know you're pressing it. | ||
| And that's more feedback for your fingers, so you're more confident when you're typing. | ||
| When everything's flat, the same surface, like, ew. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Like, how good do you type on an iPad? | ||
| When you have to open it up as a keyboard and you do that? | ||
| Ew! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out of here! | |
| No, no, no, that new iPad keyboard, have you seen that? | ||
| Oh, that's different. | ||
| That looks sick! | ||
| That does look sick. | ||
| But then what is that? | ||
| Is that an iPad or a fucking computer? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Well, it's faster than their Mac Airs or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I guess it's faster. | ||
| This is my thought. | ||
| When you're gonna use a computer, shouldn't it be comfortable? | ||
| And shouldn't it be most effective to use? | ||
| Like, aren't those two... | ||
| You think about the amount of time you spend entering things into a keyboard. | ||
| Shouldn't it be the most comfortable keyboard you can get? | ||
| And the keyboard that responds the best? | ||
| Shouldn't it be? | ||
| Okay, well, how is that not a giant priority for you? | ||
| You want everything to look pretty, but you want it to feel like shit? | ||
| And so even when you know that more travel is better for people that type, especially for touch typists and people who write a lot and creative people, you know that. | ||
| Why don't you do that? | ||
| Well, I think that's kind of why people like iPads, because you can bring your own keyboard. | ||
| Well, you can do that with a laptop, too, for sure. | ||
| But still, why not do it right like Lenovo does, you fucks? | ||
| And, by the way, metal doesn't feel good. | ||
| Why is it metal? | ||
| Why am I putting my hand on metal? | ||
| Why is it cold metal digging into my wrists? | ||
| Why is it aluminum? | ||
| You want to make it pretty? | ||
| Why don't you make it out of a softer plastic with curved edges so it doesn't suck? | ||
| So it doesn't feel weird on your skin? | ||
| Curved edges, for sure. | ||
| We want everything. | ||
| Why are you laughing? | ||
| You're so deep down in the design discussion meeting, I'm picturing of like, what do you want? | ||
| You want it to be thinner? | ||
| I want it to be a ThinkPad. | ||
| ThinkPad X1, carbon. | ||
| It weighs nothing. | ||
| That one was curved. | ||
| The old 17-inch is curved. | ||
| When they made that unibody design. | ||
| That edge will still cut you up. | ||
| That edge when you're typing, that edge at the bottom, that cuts you up. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| The first thing I would cut if I was just like, hey, we need to make a new design. | ||
| I would just shave the keys in half. | ||
| Because they're probably taking up making the double. | ||
| You know when you close it? | ||
| I think that's what they're trying to shrink down, right? | ||
| When you close it. | ||
| Shave the keys in half? | ||
| How would you do that? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like the piece of plastic that they are that you're saying that made them so much better. | ||
| When you're shrinking the size of a laptop's profile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Well, that's what happened. | ||
| Cut that so you can close it. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| Like, they just probably did that first. | ||
| And no one give a fuck. | ||
| Well, they came out with a patent that they haven't implemented yet of a keyboard that has keys that lower or raise. | ||
| And this was something that was being discussed. | ||
| They were thinking, oh, that would be great if Apple had it. | ||
| You can get it up to 1.5 millimeters or down to like 6 millimeters or 0.6 millimeters if that's what you want. | ||
| But it's still going to be not as good as the Lenovo one. | ||
| They're not going that way either. | ||
| Because the Lenovo one is curved. | ||
| The Lenovo one, they're little C-shapes, so your fingers fit right into them, and you know where each one is. | ||
| It's just better. | ||
| Like, why don't you know it's better? | ||
| Anyone who types on it knows it's better. | ||
| You know Lewis from Unbox Therapy? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Dude, as soon as he started typing on one, he's like, what have I been doing with my life? | ||
| You should get one of those Lenovo laptops and Hackintosh it. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| I don't use it for enough. | ||
| It's like, what do I need? | ||
| I need Microsoft Word. | ||
| I used to use Write Room a lot, but now I find I can do all the same shit with Word. | ||
| And then I upload, you know, when I share it with myself, so that I have it on my other computer. | ||
| But that's all I'm doing with it. | ||
| I'm writing, you know? | ||
| Like, it's okay. | ||
| I know the operating system is more clunky, it's weird, but I don't do anything with it. | ||
| You know, if I was running a bunch of different programs and I'm just using it as a word processor mostly, it's just way better. | ||
| It's way better to write on. | ||
| And it weighs nothing. | ||
| These fucks, they keep giving us the same thing. | ||
| Here's your choice, aluminum or aluminum. | ||
| I think it's going to get worse, too. | ||
| I think the future is having no keyboard, having an iPad with the haptic feedback. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| That's probably going to be it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think there's still a group of people that really want those mechanical keyboards. | ||
| And a lot of people hook up mechanical keyboards to their main desktop computer anyway. | ||
| They just feel better. | ||
| There's more travel. | ||
| You know what's going on. | ||
| Once you get accustomed to that, goddammit, you don't make any errors. | ||
| You know where each key is. | ||
| Your fingers sort of fall into place. | ||
| I mean, if you're a way better typist than me, and many, many, many people are, maybe that keyboard's not as bad. | ||
| But for me, that keyboard sucks. | ||
| Especially the old one. | ||
| The new one's better. | ||
| The new 16 is better than the old 15 for sure. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| But it still sucks. | ||
| They have a lot of questionable design. | ||
| One of the biggest design dumb things that Apple's ever done, I thought they would have fixed it by now, but their mouse, how you have to charge it on the bottom. | ||
| The plug to charge it is on the bottom of it. | ||
| So say you're out of battery, you can't just plug it and use it like a mouse while it's charging. | ||
| It pretty much uses it or makes it, you can't use it at all. | ||
| So you can't use it while it's charging? | ||
| Right here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The plug... | ||
| Well, I guess this is an old one. | ||
| Oh, it plugs under it, so you have to open it up and get in there. | ||
| No, you have to plug it right here, so it's on the bottom. | ||
| So you can't even use it if you just need to hit enter or something or whatever. | ||
| It's the dumbest design ever made. | ||
| They still have it like that? | ||
| Why don't they just have it at the end? | ||
| So you could use it like a regular mouse when it's charging. | ||
| They want you to be responsible and charge your mouse. | ||
| They shouldn't ask you to be responsible for that. | ||
| Like, what if something's important and you want to enter it right away? | ||
| You can't do it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why does iPad not have multiple users, like a computer? | ||
| So if you want to give your wife your iPad, you could let her log into her own account and say you don't have all your shit open. | ||
| Oh, it doesn't? | ||
| No! | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| How have they not added multiple logins? | ||
| But they do that with laptops. | ||
| But they do it with laptops. | ||
| Well, that's the difference between Mac OS and iOS, right? | ||
| iOS, which is used for phones. | ||
| But that's easily fixable. | ||
| Yeah, but they're worried. | ||
| They're about to be all the same thing soon. | ||
| I don't know when. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| There's just going to be OS... Do you think you would ever... | ||
| See, the thing about Apple, though, they're way better with privacy. | ||
| Way better with privacy than Google phones. | ||
| I was reading this thing about Android phones where there's some apps that send information to other apps. | ||
| They have agreements where apps contact other apps and let those apps know what you're doing. | ||
| That's how they got all that data for that thing I showed you. | ||
| It didn't come from nowhere. | ||
| Yeah, good point. | ||
| That new Zoom software everyone's using, even if you don't sign in using Facebook or say anything about Facebook, you're still getting your shit sold to Facebook. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Well, it's a commodity. | ||
| You know, it's a commodity, and there was a great guest on the Sam Harris podcast. | ||
| I wish I could remember it, but this guy was talking about privacy and this very thing. | ||
| He's like, there became a commodity that we didn't know was going to be a commodity, and we all sold our rights away to it. | ||
| We all signed the user agreement. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Click agree. | ||
| Send it. | ||
| Come on, let me get going. | ||
| I just want to use it. | ||
| I don't want to pay attention to what that fucking user... | ||
| You want seven, eight pages of legalese. | ||
| You're like, what am I agreeing to? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Those end user agreements, man, those are one of the sneakiest things that people have ever perpetrated on folks. | ||
| That South Park episode. | ||
| By the way, don't you wish South Park was going on right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| If I was Trey, I would be like, dude, let's just do this. | ||
| He's probably writing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's probably constantly writing anyway. | ||
| He'll probably have like five episodes ready to go by the time everything gets running. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Five Corona episodes. | ||
| I wish what's going on right now. | ||
| They'll probably be the most fucked up. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Did Comedy Central think they had a hard time when they were drawing Muhammad? | ||
| What kind of a hard time are they going to get from the coronavirus? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And how bad is comedy going to be for a couple months when comics start getting back on stage? | ||
| Because no one's been working out. | ||
| It'll be fine in a week. | ||
| Not even, depending if you listen to your recordings. | ||
| If you listen to your recordings, you could get going. | ||
| I had a dream that I was in the middle of a bit and I forgot how to do it. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like a bit that I don't do anymore, so it was even weirder. | ||
| But it was in the middle of a bit and I was like, God damn it, how's this bit go? | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| But if I was going to go up... | ||
| When this is all down and we're back up and running, I'm going to do short spots at the store and get the legs under you again. | ||
| You're down for a couple months. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stand-up does it all the time. | ||
| Everyone's going to have Corona jokes, though. | ||
| It's going to be so gross. | ||
| It's going to be gross. | ||
| That's why South Park needs to come out right now. | ||
| Yeah, comedians are going to have the hot take is going to be so similar. | ||
| Like, what's the hot take gonna be? | ||
| There's gonna be, hey, don't eat a fucking bat. | ||
| There's gonna be that one. | ||
| There's gonna be jokes about Dos Equis or Modelo. | ||
| There's gonna be jokes about that. | ||
| Those are the real obvious ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's gonna be... | ||
| There's going to be mean people that are going to make jokes about headed to work, fuck granny, I need to pay my fucking rent, how about you stay home granny? | ||
| There's going to be those people that have that take on it. | ||
| It's going to be fun. | ||
| It's going to be interesting to see if anybody has a perspective that you didn't think. | ||
| A lot of comics are hitting to IG Live right now, and it's god-awful watching. | ||
| I cannot stand it. | ||
| The weirdest thing is comics that thought it was a good idea to do stand-up with no crowd in front of the Laugh Factory. | ||
| Do you see those? | ||
| Yeah, or flappers who's charging $5 a person to go on their pay site or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, flappers out of control. | ||
| As usual. | ||
| Some virtual open mic. | ||
| Five bucks to get on their virtual open mic? | ||
| Yeah, that they charge for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're screwing people digitally. | |
| You gotta do what you gotta do. | ||
| In a way, I'd say, hey, they've got to stay open. | ||
| You know, nobody is more willing to give you money than some crazy open-miker that wants to be seen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Especially someone with a legit job. | ||
| Like, most of them have a job, and then they do stand up on, you know, their spare time. | ||
| They've got a little disposable income, probably because they're crazy and they have no friends. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So they're not spending it on anything other than medication. | ||
| The next thing you know, boom! | ||
| Five bucks for flappers. | ||
| What if it was, like, one dude who bought the whole block? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I want an open-miker who bought the whole day. | ||
| We could just also go on YouTube and do it all day. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He wants the prestigious Flappers brand behind him. | ||
| And so he does it. | ||
| He just dominates Flappers' website all day. | ||
| There was a stand-up video game a few months ago. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| Do you remember Comedy Night or something? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You could go into a place and take your turn doing... | ||
| I think maybe if you got booed off the Apollo, you're done and the next person goes up. | ||
| I think Grand Theft Auto was supposed to originally have the comedy store be a comedy club that you can go into. | ||
| That would be cool. | ||
| I wish you would do that. | ||
| Hey, did you see those people singing along to Biggie in Brooklyn? | ||
| That was not real. | ||
| It wasn't real. | ||
| No. | ||
| I thought so. | ||
| My wife is the first person who knows nobody's leaning out the windows. | ||
| No, this is a crowd voice. | ||
| You could hear it. | ||
| It's like from an arena. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Tell it right away. | ||
| Sons of bitches. | ||
| They pretend. | ||
| Dana White, they got him. | ||
| They got a lot of people. | ||
| They got Jamie Foxx. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, that's pretty cool if they did do it. | ||
| If someone was blasting Biggie and everybody starts singing along. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But nope. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's not possible. | ||
| These fucks. | ||
| Well, it's because the Italians actually did do it. | ||
| You know, in that apartment complex, and they were all singing into the... | ||
| What did they? | ||
| Well, you could see them singing, though. | ||
| But this one lady came outside, and she was playing the recorder, and her husband fucking smacked it out of her hand. | ||
| They did a concert last night. | ||
| Shut the fuck up, what is a thing? | ||
| On Fox, Fox News, something that was being broadcast live, but almost all of those videos were being lip-synced and whatnot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| Some of it was real, but I was watching. | ||
| You could see it was fake. | ||
| I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's got to be a bummer, man. | ||
| Imagine if you went on stage to do stand-up and they wanted you to lip-sync your old shit. | ||
| Imagine if they had an album that you did and you had a lip-sync to the album, including the ad-libs. | ||
| Has anybody ever tried? | ||
| Maybe because they lost their voice or something? | ||
| Like the way that Ashley Simpson did it on SNL and got busted. | ||
| I never heard of it. | ||
| Can you imagine comics doing that? | ||
| That's what I'm asking. | ||
| That's what he's saying. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I could imagine some crazy people doing it. | ||
| Some people that are really off. | ||
| People do some dumb shit. | ||
| I can imagine. | ||
| We have this random thing, I don't know if I ever told you this, on Kill Tony, where we'll have Joe Rogan calling in, and it's just me on Spotify going, alright, what are we talking about, gays? | ||
| Alright, click on gays, and let's go 10 seconds into it and just press play. | ||
| Like, Joe, what's going on? | ||
| And we just randomly hit you saying things. | ||
| And when it works, it's the funniest shit ever. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| I'm a soundboard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Random. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Sometimes it doesn't work. | ||
| So you guys are still doing Kill Tony. | ||
| Yeah, we're doing it tonight. | ||
| We're doing a lot of phone-ins and call-ins. | ||
| It's mostly just me, Tony, and Jeremiah. | ||
| It's a good move to keep doing it, man. | ||
| Because these are going to be... | ||
| First of all, when people look back, they're going to look back at these shows where you guys were... | ||
| On, you know, downtime, and you're like, these motherfuckers are committed to this show. | ||
| But even though they're completely quarantined, you can't do any live shows, they did all their shows by themselves with no live show, and you'll keep all your audience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very cool, too, that when they made this stay-at-home order, they included podcasts as being essential. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Which was very cool. | ||
| Or medias. | ||
| Or medias. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're very important. | ||
| Yeah, and, you know, yeah, we're all safe. | ||
| We're not high-fiving and kissing each other like we normally do. | ||
| But... | ||
| And it does feel good to do. | ||
| Me and Holtzman still are doing the podcast. | ||
| People like it because they're so depressed at home. | ||
| And seeing us not freaking out and just having a conversation like we're doing right now, it's like, oh, maybe I need to chill out a little bit. | ||
| People need to chill out. | ||
| They do, but also some shit needs to change. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what can change, though, man. | ||
| I mean, you watch that video of those fucking cell phones spreading across and thinking about the virus spreading across. | ||
| Like, how can you lighten things up and still keep people from getting infected? | ||
| That's the great question. | ||
| And why do some people have almost no reaction to it? | ||
| Why are some people asymptomatic? | ||
| That's the scary thing about new diseases, man. | ||
| You know, when something new comes along, they're all like, what is this? | ||
| That's one thing I like about this. | ||
| I don't have to give anybody my joint. | ||
| Just hold on to these. | ||
| I think that's the future. | ||
| Or glass tips. | ||
| Get your own, bitch. | ||
| Even glass tips. | ||
| Who knows what kind of spittles inside that fucking disgusting thing. | ||
| Blue light glass tip. | ||
| I'm sucking in through the new glass tip. | ||
| Fuck out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Bong hits. | ||
| Ew! | ||
| How about the fucking... | ||
| Remember that vaporizer bag we used to have? | ||
| The volcano? | ||
| Oh, the volcano! | ||
| Oh my god, would we get obliterated with that thing? | ||
| That was funny. | ||
| You still have that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Kept it. | ||
| It's storage. | ||
| Did you still have that bong that was like 10 feet tall that was... | ||
| Yeah, I gave that to somebody. | ||
| Fuck did I give that to? | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I gave it to somebody. | ||
| Maybe Tony's got it or something. | ||
| I had too many bongs, and I never used any of them. | ||
| I think it was beautiful, though. | ||
| Oh, that crazy sculpture one? | ||
| I used that one because it was so beautiful, so ridiculous. | ||
| It was like a piece of art, but that just happened to get you high. | ||
| That was nice. | ||
| Eddie and I, that was like the early days of my pot smoking too. | ||
| I thought it was a good idea to have some ridiculous sculpture, some ode to weed in my living room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You had that cool media room. | ||
| The gold Buddha. | ||
| Such a weird time right now that I keep thinking of what it's going to be like on the other end. | ||
| You know, instead of just living, which I never really do, I never really think what's it going to be like on the other end. | ||
| I always just do stuff. | ||
| You know, like whether I'm doing a Netflix special or whether I'm doing podcasts or doing stand-up, I just do stuff. | ||
| I don't think like, oh, I do it like this. | ||
| One day it'll be that, and then maybe people will like this, and maybe they'll... | ||
| I just keep doing it. | ||
| But now I'm like, what is going to be here? | ||
| What is society going to be like with no restaurants? | ||
| What is society going to be like with 50% unemployment? | ||
| What is society going to be like if that disease kicks in again? | ||
| And what's going to survive? | ||
| So I'm wondering about the future now. | ||
| I never wonder about the future. | ||
| I always just kind of do. | ||
| I'm so lucky now. | ||
| I realize so, so lucky that I can do that, that I can just concentrate on the shit I enjoy doing. | ||
| And the big advantage of that, too, is it helps you be good at that thing because you have less stress. | ||
| You have less things you're thinking about. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| More sleep for everybody. | ||
| But now, everybody's got to be a prepper. | ||
| Everybody's got to be a little paranoid. | ||
| Everybody's got to be a little whacked out by this. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| Even people like you and I that would want to just blow it off and live in the moment. | ||
| Now you can't. | ||
| Especially if you have people you love that are relying on you. | ||
| You have to have food now. | ||
| You have to keep food in your fucking house. | ||
| Find toilet paper. | ||
| That was a weird one. | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| I'm glad I have a bidet. | ||
| Why didn't everybody go crazy for food? | ||
| Why did everybody worry about wiping their ass? | ||
| Why is that the number one thing that seemed to be the issue? | ||
| More than water. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Water makes more sense than toilet paper. | ||
| Water makes a ton of sense, and so does food, like dry food. | ||
| Get oats, right? | ||
| Get oatmeal, shit like that, rice, stuff that lasts a long ass time. | ||
| You need pasta. | ||
| You need stuff that you could just make with a fire and a pan and some water. | ||
| You need to be able to just have stuff that'll keep you alive for X amount of days. | ||
| That's what you need. | ||
| You don't need toilet paper. | ||
| You need a rag and a sink. | ||
| And there you go. | ||
| You got a clean asshole. | ||
| Ta-da! | ||
| You know? | ||
| Or get one of them ones that we got in here. | ||
| Squirty up the booty hoses thing. | ||
| Love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| They have a new one that was a sponsor that you can attach to the back of a toilet. | ||
| It's not expensive either. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What is that called? | ||
| Tushy? | ||
| Tushy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much does that cost? | ||
| It's very reasonable. | ||
| It starts off at $79. | ||
| Yeah, so for 80 bucks, you get a clean asshole and you save a million dollars on toilet paper. | ||
| And it takes like three minutes to install, and it's the same water that you brush your teeth with. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| It goes right into the sink after you clean your asshole. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's not that water. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean, it's the same water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| It's real water. | ||
| That was on the read, and that was my favorite thing to say. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's cleaning your butthole. | ||
| The warm water one is only $30 more. | ||
| Oh, splurge, folks. | ||
| Unless you're a hard-ass. | ||
| Unless you're one of them Navy SEAL-type dudes who likes to suffer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you decide to get a more expensive one, you can skip the air drying one because it just makes the whole place smell like your asshole. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| I don't like the air dryer. | ||
| I went over this person's house once and they had a bidet and inside their bidet was a bar of soap. | ||
| I was going to take a leak. | ||
| There's a bar of soap and a wet rag and I was like, ew! | ||
| Ew! | ||
| Gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew! | |
| Because that's how you use it. | ||
| You get in there with that soap, you wash the old poop chute, and that water shoots up. | ||
| The bidet is like the most un-ergonomically friendly thing that's ever been designed, ever. | ||
| It's basically if you fall, And slip. | ||
| If something happens and you got like slippery socks on or shoes, you fall, that pipe is going right up your asshole. | ||
| That stupid pipe. | ||
| It's in the middle. | ||
| How do you fall? | ||
| People fall all the time, Jamie. | ||
| People die trying to climb fences. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Those spikes on fences kill people every year. | ||
| Coconut. | ||
| You slip and fall on the bidet and it punctures your asshole like a robot dick. | ||
| Think about what that thing looks like. | ||
| It looks like the top of a hammer. | ||
| The one we got, it doesn't come out until you hit the button. | ||
| It's like a little robot arm. | ||
| That's different, but it's not a bidet. | ||
| I'm talking about a bidet. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| That's a bidet seat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A real bidet. | |
| You're like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why it didn't make sense to you. | |
| You're talking like the real schoolie. | ||
| You're imagining Joe like, no, don't come in my ass! | ||
| These folks, it was a French doctor and his wife. | ||
| We were over their house. | ||
| They were French. | ||
| And they had this bidet. | ||
| And it looks like, you know, if you slip... | ||
| Like, you're getting your butthole cleaned by this little fucking pipe that's sticking straight up. | ||
| It sprays water, and you're supposed to get up in there with soap, wash it down. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| That's the way to do it, though. | ||
| Better than the way we do it, I'll smear and everything. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| So that's a safe one. | ||
| Some of them have protuberance. | ||
| You used to have one like that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some of them, yeah. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, Jim, what is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a broken toilet. | |
| That is not a bidet. | ||
| Jesus Christ, son. | ||
| I'm trying to find one. | ||
| I'm trying to find one that sticks out more. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm going to give up here. | ||
| What did that circle? | ||
| Look at the drawing to the left with the red circle. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| See, these look small. | ||
| Maybe someone's a cruel person that had the house that I was in. | ||
| Yeah, maybe it was one of those douche sticks. | ||
| I know when I used to date that porn star, she used to have the anal douche pole. | ||
| Maybe it was. | ||
| That's a lot of work right here. | ||
| Jesus, that's a hose? | ||
| Look at this one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I was in New York once, and I posted it on Instagram. | ||
| The shitter had not one, but two hoses. | ||
| Had a hose on either side. | ||
| I didn't get it. | ||
| I didn't get it either until someone explained to me that some, because it was a very fancy hotel, and some people from other lands prefer to wash their hand, wash their ass, rather, with their left hand. | ||
| It's the lefty style. | ||
| So for you to ask them to grab a hose on the right-hand side and hose down their asshole, they'd be offended. | ||
| You're not supposed to do that with your right hand. | ||
| You're supposed to do it with your left hand. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| It had like that, right? | ||
| It had like a hose off of it. | ||
| Yeah, two. | ||
| And one on each side. | ||
| Like an industrial strength. | ||
| I see. | ||
| I think I'm making a YouTube video. | ||
| Or an Instagram video. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Yeah, it's a better way to clean your ass, that's for sure. | ||
| Like, the way we do it with toilet paper is really disgusto. | ||
| It's fucking gross. | ||
| You're just smooshing it around. | ||
| Like, if you had that shit on your eyebrow, not your taint hairs, but your eyebrow hairs, how much rubbing? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| One on the left, one on the right. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Did you try it out? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| With much shame. | ||
| Was there poop juice everywhere? | ||
| Look at that one, man. | ||
| That one's for a big asshole. | ||
| Maybe one's for a pussy and one's for an asshole. | ||
| Maybe you double jam. | ||
| I thought it was just a clean toilet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right and left. | |
| Right hammers the clit. | ||
| Because my bidet has a pussy mode and an ass mode. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Girls probably use that thing. | ||
| It feels good on your butt. | ||
| I'm ashamed to admit it. | ||
| That warm water squirts up on your butt. | ||
| I guess it's a smaller little thing than I remembered. | ||
| So I don't think you have to worry. | ||
| Though the bidet. | ||
| There's a bidet on the other side of the room, too. | ||
| Look. | ||
| See there? | ||
| Over there, there's a bidet. | ||
| So there was a bidet. | ||
| See, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| See that little robot dick that's sticking up? | ||
| Did you see it in the bidet? | ||
| Watch. | ||
| See, watch when they turn it around, or when I turn it around, after I grab ahold of these two things. | ||
| I was super confused. | ||
| The other side has a thing that pokes out in the middle, and that's kind of what I was talking about. | ||
| And some of them are a little higher than others. | ||
| But they're these weird little... | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| What kind of shits are these people taking? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is not a shower. | |
| This is a regular toilet. | ||
| And then... | ||
| A bidet. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That little robot. | ||
| Not that part. | ||
| The other one. | ||
| The one earlier. | ||
| See? | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It really doesn't matter. | ||
| You don't have a touch bar on that laptop, too. | ||
| Touch bar is the shit, because even in an Instagram video, you can back it up and rewind it. | ||
| I was just going to say, they need to add a fucking play bar. | ||
| Are they doing a touch bar? | ||
| Yes, you can. | ||
| I turned all that shit off. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| That's the only good thing about the 16-inch MacBook that I appreciate is that touch bar. | ||
| For YouTube videos, you scroll back and forth. | ||
| It's so much better than having to keep your finger... | ||
| On this one area on the trackpad and hold onto the thing, move it left and right, or click on this, or click on that. | ||
| It's so seamless. | ||
| You know exactly where your finger is. | ||
| It's a more effective way of navigating YouTube videos. | ||
| Because your track of landscape that you're navigating in is very defined. | ||
| So you just get your finger on it, and you just move it back and forth. | ||
| Nobody ever uses them. | ||
| There's a bunch of keyboard shortcuts on YouTube to use, which are great and helpful, but I couldn't tell you what more than two of them are. | ||
| I can skip frames. | ||
| Are they listed somewhere? | ||
| Yeah, they're listed a bunch of places, but you can jump to all sorts of parts in the video just by hitting certain keys. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, save a bunch of time, but no one's going to ever remember them or use them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They should open up gyms. | ||
| When do you think they should do that? | ||
| Let people work out. | ||
| With social distancing and proper cleaning, it seems like they should be able to do that. | ||
| They should only open up gyms for people who never contact anyone who contacts old people. | ||
| You have to sign a contract. | ||
| If everyone cleans after themself at the gym. | ||
| I mean, it seems like that's the dirtiest place ever. | ||
| Gross people spitting on the floor. | ||
| They want to go back. | ||
| Yeah, sweat. | ||
| I mean, what kind of a disgusting virus-carrying solution is sweat? | ||
| From some dude who didn't shower today, went straight to Gold's, fucking pumped up, ready to get my PR in, or PB, personal best, personal record, PR, personal record, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta know those terms, bro. | |
| Have you thought about doing anything special? | ||
| It's like now that you know you have to be locked down, like it's a good time to work on something. | ||
| Well, I've been really getting into broadcasting VR. I'm learning how to do it the best way. | ||
| I'm into VR men. | ||
| I think that's the future. | ||
| And these new games coming out. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Can you broadcast? | ||
| You play in Half-Life? | ||
| Yeah, I do it. | ||
| I've done five broadcasts on my YouTube page. | ||
| And I'm trying to get it so I can have my whole body in there maybe in the future. | ||
| But that takes a lot of work. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Broadcasting... | ||
| HD VR in Half-Life in a game like that would be fucking amazing. | ||
| If you think about how many people play games, if they could figure out a way, you know you watch someone play and it's real similar, like if you remember back in the Quake days we'd watch demos, like if a really good player was playing, I'd watch like there's this dude named Thresh, I've talked about him on the podcast before, I'd watch all his demos. | ||
| Is he still around? | ||
| He's around, yeah. | ||
| He and I exchanged messages. | ||
| Way back in the day, but it was obviously before this corona. | ||
| Step one of what you're saying? | ||
| Yeah, this is like step one, but you could see her butt, and in real life, you would be her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is what I'm trying to do at my house right now, and it's hard to do, because you have to have a lot of green screen crap. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| This is cool. | ||
| It would be interesting to see someone walk through in third person, but what I'm talking about is first person. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| Dude, that would be the shit. | ||
| This game allows you to place a virtual camera for the purpose of doing this in there, so like... | ||
| Without doing that, you can have the headset version of it. | ||
| Oh, you can. | ||
| Yeah, I did the headset version. | ||
| Yeah, what I'm saying is when people watch you play a game, they're gonna want to watch you survive some crazy VR fantasy game like Half-Life. | ||
| That would be really captivating. | ||
| Because it's one thing to watch a guy play a game, but if you could put the VR goggles on and watch with him, and you're looking around and I'm seeing what you're seeing, holy fuck, dude! | ||
| This guy's on... | ||
| Oh, sorry, the commercial. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| You scared me. | ||
| I'm like, that's really realistic. | ||
| That's really realistic. | ||
| Super realistic. | ||
| There's people doing that, though, I think. | ||
| What are those other good series that are out? | ||
| I know Amazon has some good series now, people were saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that Tiger thing, I highly recommend. | ||
| Yeah, I'm definitely going to see that, but I want to see something that's fake. | ||
| Devs? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Is that Amazon? | ||
| That's Amazon, right? | ||
| No, that's Hulu. | ||
| Hulu. | ||
| Is that supposed to be really good? | ||
| That one actor, the guy from Parks and Rec, what's his name, the comedian guy? | ||
| Nick Offerman. | ||
| He is great, man. | ||
| He's in Devs? | ||
| Yeah, he's one of the main guys. | ||
| He's the Steve Jobs guy. | ||
| And Westworld's back. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever gotten... | ||
| Dude, I liked Westworld, but the wife got a little grossed out and started pulling people's heads up. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Don't stay away from the spoilers. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| Well, yeah, Westworld's not in the West anymore, though. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not Westworld. | ||
| I mean, Ozark. | ||
| Ozark spoilers. | ||
| I haven't done Ozark. | ||
| People are binge watching, like instantly. | ||
| People are so greedy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They use a bottle of toilet paper and they sit there watching Ozark. | ||
| Oh, the other one is The Expanse. | ||
| I heard The Expanse is really good. | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| A bunch of people that I respect that like sci-fi told me that The Expanse, which is, I think that's an Amazon show, See that? | ||
| Yeah, it's four seasons in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a season coming soon, Amazon. | |
| Know anything about it? | ||
| No, I haven't seen it at all. | ||
| Brian? | ||
| No, I've never even heard of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I heard it's really good. | ||
| There's too many shows. | ||
| Oh, there definitely is. | ||
| And they never stop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They never stop. | ||
| They never go, we're just going to keep the shows we have and make them better. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| And I didn't really watch that Tiger show, too, because I was so annoyed at people asking me if I watch it. | ||
| I'm like, I got to just watch it so I could say yes and know what people are talking about. | ||
| I'm tired of hearing about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I was watching regular TV, and you couldn't, for some reason, fast forward through the commercials. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, there was something going on where you couldn't fast forward through commercials. | ||
| I was going in and out of this room with the TV and I couldn't figure it out. | ||
| But while I was watching, I just stopped and paused watching these commercials on regular TV for these upcoming shows that they have. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| It's almost like they're trying to put you into a coma. | ||
| They're trying to put you in a state of mind like some fake-ass Norman Rockwell painting of America. | ||
| It's a calm-down, easy-to-predict version of a drama. | ||
| You know, we're all in this together, and it's perfect music, and we're all about God and family, and they're all hugging and smiling. | ||
| Like, what are you doing to me here? | ||
| It doesn't work on me anymore. | ||
| I can't watch that shit anymore. | ||
| No, you can't watch it. | ||
| But that's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's so strange when you compare that to some of the shit that we watch now. | ||
| Like if you watch Game of Thrones, or if you watch Ozark, or if you watch The Outsider, all these crazy fucking shows. | ||
| You watch a show that's made like a 1980s CBS drama, and you're like, what is this? | ||
| And then you realize, oh my god, they still make them. | ||
| They still make them. | ||
| They make them just like that. | ||
| Grey's Anatomy's been on TV for 15 plus 20 years. | ||
| I don't even know how long. | ||
| Is that still on? | ||
| It's still on, yeah. | ||
| Is Dr. Dreamy still on that? | ||
| Dr. Dreamy. | ||
| The main girl's still on it? | ||
| I don't know who else is still on that show. | ||
| Is he on it? | ||
| He might be. | ||
| You're talking about... | ||
| Dr. Dreamy. | ||
| Patrick... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I met him once. | ||
| He's a cool guy. | ||
| He was a very nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like what sports is doing now, because there's no sports, so they've been doing NASCAR video games, and it looks so real, like a real NASCAR race, and I guess Madden next week is going to have a football game, but it's going to be a video game, Madden football game. | ||
| So that might be the future of sports. | ||
| It is not. | ||
| They are talking about doing, like the NBA might do their whole tournament in Vegas this summer, because just like they do NBA Summer League, they can't play any, they're fucked right now. | ||
| They've been out taking two weeks off. | ||
| I saw LeBron said they might have to, he might need like 10 games to get warmed back up to even start going. | ||
| They have no preseason again. | ||
| All these guys, there's a China League that's starting up soon. | ||
| All those players from America that are going to go over there, they have to just work out on their own, just like some UFC fighters who can't fight right now. | ||
| They're going to go and play in China? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Son. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| They get paid a lot. | ||
| Stefan Marbury is a big star there, and he's trying to get some masks sent back to Brooklyn, where he's from, but he's a huge star in China now. | ||
|
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Damn. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting things happening. | ||
| The whole premier soccer league team in Europe, they're going to have a World Cup event type thing, a huge TV event. | ||
| They're getting TV partners in place. | ||
| They're going to quarantine everyone, put them in little camps, all the teams, I don't know, 30 teams maybe, 25 teams. | ||
| Who's buying up all the stock now that the market's crashed? | ||
| Because you know that shit's going on. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| A lot of people, yeah. | ||
| That Barstool sports guy. | ||
| Well, I mean, all sorts of people, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Some people say that's a good thing to do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems like it's still crashing, so I don't know. | ||
| Well, you've got to wonder, because the people that can buy the stock are the people that have the most money already. | ||
| grocery stores. | ||
| This could be a giant change in, like, who owns what. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They speculated that, like, what company? | ||
| I think Apple could just buy Netflix or something crazy like that. | ||
|
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Jesus Christ! | |
| Or Disney? | ||
| It was Disney, I think they said. | ||
| Disney could buy Netflix? | ||
| No, Apple could just buy Disney. | ||
| Oh yeah, they definitely could. | ||
| They definitely could. | ||
| They have so much money. | ||
| They're so weird. | ||
| Like, the amount of money they have is weird. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, what an amazing move. | ||
| What company has that kind of cash? | ||
| No one. | ||
| Amazon's close and they're going to maybe be the first two trillion dollar company. | ||
| But it's a very different thing. | ||
| They sell everything. | ||
| They sell toothpaste and fucking bubble gum and nails. | ||
| They'll sell you everything. | ||
| But Apple just sells you computers, phones, watches, sippage. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| For right now. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| But no one has loyalty to tech products the way people have with Apple. | ||
| They didn't even have a store ten years ago. | ||
| Is it 10 years? | ||
| I don't know, but it's not been that long. | ||
| There's no Apple stores. | ||
| You had to go to a micro center. | ||
| I think it's more than 10 years, but you're right. | ||
| But dude, that fucking genius bar, that was the ultimate... | ||
| Did you call it a genius bar? | ||
| Really? | ||
| They're not. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I needed help recently. | ||
| These are just people that work here. | ||
| Why are you saying geniuses? | ||
| These aren't geniuses. | ||
| You're making these people... | ||
| Operate at such an exaggerated standard, right? | ||
| They have to be geniuses? | ||
| Can't just be a guy who understands batteries? | ||
| Oh, yeah, man, we're on a test here. | ||
| No, it has to be a genius. | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| What's your IQ? Yeah, Gateway, we just call them tech support. | ||
| Wasn't it the Geek Squad? | ||
| No, that's Best Buy. | ||
| Best Buy, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, that's hilarious. | ||
| Geek Squad. | ||
| Geek, somehow or another, is more offensive than dork to me. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Nerd is the top of the food chain. | ||
| Nerd is like, you could say it proud. | ||
| But geek is like, you're a little fucked up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And dork. | ||
| It's not so bad. | ||
| It's endearing, kind of. | ||
| Dork's cute. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Geek isn't cute. | ||
| Geek is like, you're fucking freaking out. | ||
| Keep it together, bitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dork is like, you fucking dork. | ||
|
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|
Dork. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Geek is like a more... | ||
| You can geek out, and that's not that bad. | ||
|
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|
You can geek out. | |
| That's a good point. | ||
| You can geek out in a good way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Yeah, no one's complaining about language right now. | ||
| Notice that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that shit went away. | ||
| But it's so much corona, it's just tiring watching. | ||
|
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It's exhausting. | |
| Well, that's the other thing that's going on with people is the fear, man. | ||
| When you have a hard time dealing, you have anxiety, you have apprehension, you're just fearful of the future and fearful of the disease. | ||
| Some people had anxiety before this. | ||
| This is going to accelerate everything. | ||
| That's going to be real hard just for mental health of people. | ||
| It's going to be people that are going to have a really hard time also accepting that this is just something that happened. | ||
| To them. | ||
| It's just not something that they did wrong. | ||
| You know, when something goes bad and you did something wrong, it's kind of like, ah, I made a bad decision. | ||
| I should have done it that way. | ||
| I fucked up and we should have had that meeting. | ||
| And then, you know, you might know why your business fell apart. | ||
|
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But if it falls apart now, it's like you didn't even do anything wrong. | |
| And the government gets to tell you. | ||
| They have to sit back. | ||
| Now, if you were a conspiracy theorist, and so many of them are... | ||
| You would think. | ||
| What would be the best way to gain more control of the people? | ||
| The best way, first of all, to accelerate despair and accelerate unemployment. | ||
| You would do all the things that are just going to happen from what naturally happens in a disease. | ||
| People are willing to give up certain civil liberties if they think they can get more safety. | ||
| And it's true. | ||
| We should stay home. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It will be better for everybody. | ||
| It's true that we need to take precautions. | ||
| It's true that we need to self-isolate. | ||
| All those things are true. | ||
| But it's also true that you're giving a certain amount of power to the government to lock things down and control you. | ||
| They're giving people tickets in New York. | ||
| If they catch them walking around, they give them $500 tickets. | ||
| They're doing it in other places too, I'm sure. | ||
| And that's where it gets weird, man, because who are these people? | ||
| These people that are telling you can't go anywhere, they're just the government. | ||
| They're just people. | ||
| They're people telling people that they can't go somewhere, which is fine if we need to do that like right now. | ||
| But what if it just sort of stays that way? | ||
| What if it stays that way to a lesser extent? | ||
| What if they decide, you know how we're going to stop coronavirus from really taking place? | ||
| I want to know where you're going. | ||
| I want to know where you're going. | ||
| I want to know when you go through each state, we're going to have checkpoints. | ||
| We're going to pull you over. | ||
| It's going to be a heightened police state. | ||
| Sir, have you been tested for the coronavirus and you put a fucking thing on your forehead? | ||
| What if this thing really does start coming back the way it has in Wuhan, where people tested negative and then they later tested positive? | ||
| If that happens here, are we going to keep this lockdown thing going on? | ||
| What if it's something that we all have and it comes back like when John Jones had those steroids in his system and the picograms and it just kept flashing back? | ||
| What if that's with this stuff? | ||
| What if we test positive for coronavirus every couple of years? | ||
| What if it's like herpes? | ||
| What if you keep it for life? | ||
| What if we're assuming we got rid of it? | ||
| We're going to just accept martial law? | ||
| We're just going to accept tanks in the streets? | ||
| What are we going to accept? | ||
| It's a real good question. | ||
| So if you were a nut right now, you would be fucking going crazy because you'd be saying all the pieces are in place for like a hostile takeover. | ||
| And they're in place because they really, truly are the best ways to save people's lives. | ||
| It's all a smart thing to do. | ||
| But if you were a conspiracy theorist, you'd say, this is exactly what I would do if I wanted to take over. | ||
| And that's what we have to be really careful of. | ||
| We've got to be careful of somehow or another walking that very fine balance of protecting people. | ||
| From a disease, this invisible killer, and preserving our freedom and preserving rights. | ||
| All those things are very important that we don't just give that up. | ||
| Because it's not the way to go. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| We have to figure out our way through this disease and then we have to figure out some way to return to normalcy. | ||
| And that's gotta happen. | ||
| We can't just stay like this where no one works anymore. | ||
| We can't just not ever take risks. | ||
| We can't just not go out. | ||
| So once this does get rolling again, it's going to be real interesting to see how much, if any, control the government retains, how much, if any, restrictions get imposed, how much of these restrictions we just absorb and they become newer, new things, a normal thing, rather, where you just go to the airport, you have to take a temperature test. | ||
| You go to the airport and they want to test you. | ||
| Or we're going to have to start wearing suits, kind of like Star Wars, like these kind of suits with helmets and breathing apparatus and everyone that works at the grocery store is going to be robots. | ||
| Imagine that, you get to the hotel and you decompress and unzip. | ||
| You can enjoy New York City from your balcony. | ||
| Look, it's so pretty out there with all the murderous viruses swarming around, killing people. | ||
| What if the viruses got together and made virus tornadoes and started just throwing people against walls? | ||
| Or virus babies if you get born. | ||
| Listen, man, if a wind can pick up a semi and make it fly through the air, like we've seen, why can't a virus tornado just slam you into a wall? | ||
| Imagine if viruses accelerate billions of times and they form colonies and they become intelligent and they realize if they move quick enough they can knock you off your feet and they go down your throat like a demon. | ||
| That's not happening already. | ||
| It's crazy, for sure. | ||
| But so is a regular virus. | ||
| So is a regular virus. | ||
| I mean, just what we were reading about the H1N1 and all these other flus that kill so many countless thousands of people. | ||
| Not countless. | ||
| They counted them. | ||
| They're actually pretty accurate, right? | ||
| We had to double check. | ||
| I mean, just think about the sheer numbers of people that have died from those things. | ||
| If those were demons instead of diseases, how freaky would that be? | ||
| If we'll be like, look, we're going to lose a certain amount of people every year to demons. | ||
| No matter what we do. | ||
| Why is it better to lose to a virus than a demon? | ||
| Little Godzilla's. | ||
|
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I got my little Godzilla. | |
| Little Godzilla's just running up into your window and killing your grandma. | ||
| Baby Godzilla's. | ||
|
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|
Fuck! | |
| God damn it! | ||
| You go in there and she's just bones, just white bones sticking up. | ||
| There's a horde of little Godzilla's just chewing through her meat. | ||
| Why would that be more horrific than a virus? | ||
| The silent thing that chokes you to death? | ||
| I need to know. | ||
| I've been thinking that like hilarious. | ||
| There's been that talk when we've talked about UFOs that all the world needs to get to come together is like that alien invasion. | ||
| This is not too different than what that would be. | ||
| It is an alien technically. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's foreign to us. | ||
| Action Bronson had it right the whole time. | ||
| Just get high and watch ancient aliens try to get so high you just try to sort through what they're saying. | ||
| He figured it out. | ||
| It's interesting to think, what if this did come from, you know, space? | ||
| Yeah, they're sick of us. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| The real fear is that they're eventually going to have something that you can't fix. | ||
| You know, I had this guy on that was talking about with my friend. | ||
| Do you remember that guy's name with Doug, Doug Duren, the scientist? | ||
| Brian? | ||
| His scientist friend came in with my friend Doug Duren from Wisconsin to talk about chronic wasting disease. | ||
| Brian Richards. | ||
| Brian Richards. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And he explained how this is not made to jump to people. | ||
| But if it does, it's going to be horrific. | ||
| And it's like it's in deer. | ||
| And it's made to jump to mice. | ||
| And it's spreading through the Midwest. | ||
| This is something you gotta keep an eye on. | ||
| This is not a safe thing. | ||
| If this does make the jump to people, and people get hit with this prion disease that's called chronic wasting disease in deer, if that spreads to people, we're fucked. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| It's gonna be like a zombie apocalypse. | ||
| If that gets into people, it's like 100% of them die. | ||
| Deer, they 100% die. | ||
| They don't live for very long either, and it's a horrific death. | ||
| Their body shrivels. | ||
| That's why they call it chronic wasting disease. | ||
| They waste away and they're like vomiting everywhere. | ||
| All this stuff is coming out of their mouth and their nose, and this stuff that's coming out of their mouth and nose is highly contagious. | ||
| And then other deer come along and eat the grass that they spit out this phlegm or this body fluid, whatever the fuck it is, and they get it from that. | ||
| And they get it from sharing food sources and they leave it everywhere, too. | ||
| When the deer are dying, this stuff comes out of them and they leave it everywhere. | ||
| It's like the virus knowing it's losing its host and it decides to just land on plants. | ||
|
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Bro. | |
| It's scary as fuck. | ||
| Because it's like mad cow disease. | ||
| They just reported the other day, I read something in China where they found a guy on a bus that, like a version of, I don't know if it was Corona, that usually has never traveled from rat or mouse to human. | ||
| It was the first time ever. | ||
| So there might be already another Corona that... | ||
| When did you hear about this? | ||
| This was like two days ago. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| They found a guy on the bus and they said, don't worry, this has never happened before. | ||
| These patient zeros are really pissing me off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Jamie is one-handing it. | ||
| Let's see who gets it. | ||
| Hantavirus. | ||
| Damn, Jamie won. | ||
| Six days ago. | ||
| He can't fuck with him. | ||
| Man who died on bus in China tests positive for hantavirus. | ||
| Motherfucker! | ||
| This is how many days ago? | ||
|
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Six. | |
| Make this a little larger so I can read it with my shitty eyes. | ||
| A passenger who died on a bus in China has tested positive for a completely different virus than COVID-19, one more fatal that often produces very similar symptoms according to state-run media. | ||
| The unidentified woman from Yunnan Province died while on a chartered bus heading to his workplace. | ||
| In Shandong Province, the state-run Global Times announced in a tweet on Monday he tested positive for hashtag hantavirus. | ||
| Other 32 people on the bus were tested. | ||
| The outlet stated offering no further details. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| The new virus starting just as China starts lifting its strict quarantines from COVID-19. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| However, experts were quickly to point out that it's not a new virus and is only rarely thought to have been passed between humans. | ||
| Oh, that doesn't make me feel good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's only recent that this is starting to happen. | ||
| Yeah, this is not good. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| The Hantavirus first emerged in the 1950s in the American Korean War in Korea, Hanton River. | ||
| It spreads from rat mice if humans ingest their body fluids. | ||
| Human, human transmission is rare. | ||
| Rare is not a word I like. | ||
| When it comes to a disease, it kills the fuck out of you. | ||
| Please don't, do not panic unless you plan to eat rats. | ||
| And a billion Chinese people just went, fuck! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, at least dogs are okay. | ||
| Well, how many of them eat rats? | ||
| They eat what they can eat, right? | ||
| Those wet markets are just that. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| After exposure to fresh urine, droppings, or saliva of infected rodents. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Symptoms may occur up to eight weeks after exposure to fresh urine, droppings, or saliva-infected rodents. | ||
| Okay, well that can get a rat to a person. | ||
| So it can't get person to person yet. | ||
| But what if that thing morphs? | ||
| They're pretending like things don't morph. | ||
| You know, like, bitch, they got to a person in the first place because they made a jump. | ||
| All these things, right? | ||
| Avian flu, swine flu, all these flus, they jump from an animal to a human. | ||
| God, imagine if this starts going out. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Well, this is what I'm saying. | ||
| Now, what if it does? | ||
| And then they keep this level of security and this level of restriction, and it restricts your freedom? | ||
| Man, it makes you really realize how well we had it before this. | ||
| We could just do whatever you wanted. | ||
| Right now, you could just drive to Vegas. | ||
| Let's go to Vegas! | ||
| Let's go see Britney Spears! | ||
| Yay! | ||
| You go down there, have a nice dinner. | ||
| That's what we did. | ||
| Go see Britney. | ||
| Britney, bitch. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Not anymore, bitch. | ||
| Now no one's going nowhere. | ||
| If you wanted to take over the world, isn't that the way you would do it? | ||
| I'm not saying that that's what's happening, but I'm saying if you were writing a book On a takeover of the world by another nation. | ||
| What better way to do it than that? | ||
| What if North Korea was behind all this? | ||
| Well, I don't think they have the resources. | ||
| China, since it's in China, it's much more likely. | ||
| Look, it started from China, whether it was intentional or unintentional. | ||
| That's beside the point. | ||
| I don't think it was intentional. | ||
| But I think that when things like this happen, people do take advantage of opportunity. | ||
| And you got to be real careful who gets the better hand when they're taking advantage of opportunity. | ||
| It's just, it's new ground. | ||
| It's weird for people. | ||
| They know where it came from. | ||
| They have isolated that this thing did come from this market in Wuhan. | ||
| They know. | ||
| It's the way things like this can play out, if there's a bunch of these, is almost just like someone starting a conspiracy. | ||
| It doesn't have to be done. | ||
| It just actually naturally exists, and the same people that would benefit from a conspiracy or who would engage in a conspiracy to defraud people or fuck people over in the first place, they're the ones who are going to jump in and take advantage of it the quickest. | ||
| That's what's so scary about it. | ||
| Totalitarian ideas thrive when people are scared. | ||
| They want someone to take over the reins. | ||
| They want someone to take over. | ||
| We're going to block the streets? | ||
| No more travel. | ||
| We're going to block this. | ||
| You can't go to work. | ||
| Then you're going to be poor and broke and scared. | ||
| I'm not saying that that's what they're doing. | ||
| What I am saying is if you wanted to do something to really take over a civilization, it would be this way. | ||
| That's how you would do it. | ||
| You would do it with diseases. | ||
| I'm not saying they're doing that. | ||
| I don't think they are. | ||
| I think this is just a horrible natural disaster. | ||
| I want to be really clear on that. | ||
| But we might come out of this different than we went in. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| There's tanks driving down the road in California. | ||
| Tanks. | ||
| And they're like, oh, they're just getting supplies or something. | ||
| There's tanks rolling through New York City. | ||
| My friend John Joseph, he sent me a video from his phone of tanks rolling down New York City. | ||
| Armed Humvees and tanks. | ||
|
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That's ridiculous. | |
| Yeah, freaky, like military vehicles in camo. | ||
| Like, what are you hiding? | ||
| You're in New York City. | ||
| What are you hiding from? | ||
| What kind of camo is that? | ||
| Is it weird that even when they use them in cities, they camo them up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It seems so rude. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's like to let you know. | ||
| They might hide in the bushes too, bitch. | ||
| But they drive through the cities to lock everybody down. | ||
| If they had those murdered out Matt Black paint jobs instead, it would be a little bit more intimidating maybe. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Pizza slices and stuff. | ||
| Well, at least with camo, if you have your car is all camoed up and you're not in the military, you know, they're going to have an eye on you anyway. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Unless you're in, like, West Virginia. | ||
| Dudes who have, like, camoed up H1s, Hummers, and they're driving those real military-style Hummers around, like, please check that guy's house. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Please, please read his Facebook. | ||
| Please. | ||
| He's driving around with an armored vehicle, all camoed out. | ||
| Do you really need an H1 Hummer in LA? They're so wide. | ||
| They don't still make those. | ||
| They don't still make them, but people still have them. | ||
| Not only do people have them, but they do these mods on them. | ||
| Because they're really slow. | ||
| Like, a Hummer is really slow. | ||
| And I'm pretty sure they're a diesel engine. | ||
| It's like a slow, shitty, stinky engine. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not optimal. | ||
| So they take the engine out of those shitboxes and put like giant American engines in there and turn them into- it's a company in Florida. | ||
| I forget what the company is, but they make custom Humvees, like the real military Humvees, but they deck them out inside with dope interiors and they put ridiculous like thousand horsepower turbocharged engines in them and shit. | ||
| If there is even, like, if you have even one wacky idea in your head, like, maybe someone could do, they already did it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is the coronavirus pandemic hummer that they made. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| They just uploaded it probably today. | ||
| What's the company? | ||
| Predator or something? | ||
| Yes, that's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last week. | ||
| So they made a coronavirus. | ||
| That's what it says. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Um-V. I was making a big assumption. | ||
| See, that's the shit that they make. | ||
| They make things like those, but then they put these bonkers engines in them. | ||
| Have you ever ridden in one of those? | ||
| You're real far from the person. | ||
| We would be like this. | ||
| That's how far we would be. | ||
| If I was driving and you were the passenger, there would be almost this much space in between us. | ||
| They're real weird. | ||
| But dude, you don't worry about shit when you're in one of those things. | ||
| You're like, run me over, motherfucker. | ||
| Good luck, bitch. | ||
| They just feel like a real tank. | ||
| You could run over a wall in them, right? | ||
| That's the thing I remember when I was a kid. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| They could go over a three-foot wall or some shit. | ||
| Oh, over a wall? | ||
| Yeah, the whole underside is completely protected. | ||
| Like, you can scratch over all kinds of shit, and everything's inside. | ||
| That's why there's that big hump. | ||
| It's because the drivetrain is all protected underneath the chassis. | ||
| So you get this extraordinary travel in terms of how far, like, you go over a rock, like, your height. | ||
| What is that called? | ||
| There's a term for that. | ||
| How much travel space you have underneath the vehicle clearance that's it yeah, so you have a shit ton of clearance and You know that's a military designed over engineered vehicle for the streets, but if you're like super paranoid I like how my car, you could do the clearance, you could like raise it, you know, or lower it. | ||
| That's pretty nice. | ||
| Yeah, those are the future, right? | ||
| Cybertruck. | ||
| Yeah, all those electric cars are the future. | ||
| They're just going to get better at charging them. | ||
| It's the future. | ||
| Especially if we could really get solar down here in LA. If we really nail solar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the technology needs to change, for sure, because it would be nice to have solar on your car. | ||
| But right now, I think I've read, like, if you had all solar panels on top of your car, it still wouldn't do anything. | ||
| Isn't that crazy, though? | ||
| Like, you have a source of power that people use to power their homes and big buildings, solar, but you can't utilize it in a car, which is always in the sun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially out here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fisker figured it out. | ||
| You know, Fisker did. | ||
| They had a roof. | ||
| They had a solar roof that powered the radio. | ||
| Yeah, it only powered the radio, though. | ||
| But that's better than nothing. | ||
| You think it would still be like, hey, if my car is sitting out all day, at least it gave me 20 miles. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Sitting in the parking lot all day, it should be sucking up some juice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's coming, too. | ||
| I think just the technology is just not 100% there. | ||
| Well, they need a battery technology jump, right? | ||
| They need a big jump in how much power gets stored and how quickly you can get it in there. | ||
| Because right now, it's still a little clunky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the Tesla wall, the battery pack on the wall, that's pretty badass. | ||
| It's pretty badass, but what I mean is it takes too long to charge a car, and then it doesn't have long enough of a range. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's when the wireless charging on the roads, where you're just driving on a wireless charger. | ||
| You just got to give up a microchip. | ||
| They just put a microchip in your hand, and you're fine. | ||
| And it's also, it doubles as a corona tester, so you make sure that you never get mistaken for someone with corona. | ||
| They just have to scan you. | ||
| Hey, you're going to this bathroom. | ||
| Can I have your hand, please? | ||
| Oh, green. | ||
| Go ahead and urinate with peace and harmony. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| We're putting those UV lights everywhere. | ||
| Am I freaking out? | ||
| I mean, really, I'm trying not to sound like a conspiracy nut, because I'm not accusing anyone of creating a conspiracy. | ||
| But what I am saying is if I was a conspiracy nut, or if I was a country that was conspiring to take over the world, this is not a bad way to do it. | ||
| I don't think that's happening right now. | ||
| I want to be real clear. | ||
| But it's kind of the same result that we're experiencing right now, where everyone's being forced to shut down with who knows what consequences. | ||
| But it's also the right thing to do. | ||
| So we're all like, whoa. | ||
| How do you, you know, it's another one of those things about being a person where the right thing to do still feels crazy. | ||
| Still feels like, all right, we're just gonna sit around. | ||
| Yeah, I guess that's what you have to do, you know? | ||
| And it's kind of, in one way, encouraging that so many people are willing to stay home. | ||
| And people aren't rebelling. | ||
| They're like, fuck you. | ||
| This is my country. | ||
| I'm gonna go to work. | ||
| I'll take a chance. | ||
| Everybody's going to get it anyway. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| There's way less people doing that. | ||
| And when you consider that the government is controlling 320 million people, pretty crazy. | ||
| Almost everyone's complying with staying home. | ||
| There's only a few essential businesses. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to have to, I think, really have spacesuits to leave the house and work. | ||
| And they're gonna probably be like this, this metal plastic thing that could wash off. | ||
| Yeah, they're all gonna be padded. | ||
| Dudes are gonna put socks in their spacesuits. | ||
| It's gonna be a mess. | ||
| Are you worried, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never seen you this worried. | ||
| Because everything you're sort of saying, I look into the future and sort of see where we're headed. | ||
| And I don't see a... | ||
| I don't really see much out there because I don't know where it is. | ||
| But it's not anything good because there's nothing there I don't see. | ||
| Like, going to the movies again, seems like that's probably close to out. | ||
| Movies were already... | ||
| Dying anyway. | ||
| Yeah, they might not survive this. | ||
| They've already opened up the ability to, like, put those right into your house for 20 bucks. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| So Winter Movie Theater's gonna open again. | ||
| Alright, what's next? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Concerts? | ||
| Sporting events? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's just, those are all the fun things we used to do, so, like, fuck. | ||
| It's also, once everything's in place where they can treat people effectively and they have the adequate number of ventilators, then are we going to go back to the way things were? | ||
| Or are we going to have new standards in place? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Look, they did an unprecedented thing. | ||
| They locked down the entire country to save people's lives. | ||
| Never happened before. | ||
| We're in new territory. | ||
| And you know it's dangerous when a moron like me is making sense. | ||
| When I'm one of the people who's talking about something like this. | ||
| I just read yesterday, I don't know if someone shared this, it was F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, I think this was a letter found from 1920 when he was living in France during the Spanish flu. | ||
| I don't know who he was writing to, I'll try to find it right now, but he was talking about how they stocked up on a bunch of alcohol and people were being told, almost like now, you're told not to go anywhere but some people don't believe it. | ||
| I forget, he was talking about another writer friend of his who wasn't taking it seriously and like Whoa, so it was like real similar. | ||
| It sounded very similar to this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess that's how people always have been, right? | ||
| Especially back then when it's real hard to get information. | ||
| Imagine, people are dying and everyone's just like, what's going on? | ||
| You gotta read the newspaper, like, fuck! | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| It's fake. | ||
| How'd they get you? | ||
| I just saw that this note was going viral during the pandemic and a lot of people have been falling for it. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| I guess I was one of them. | ||
| Well, what a good way to end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything's fine. | |
| Everything's fake. | ||
| I'm glad you guys are still doing Kill Tony. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think it's an awesome move. | ||
| It's the way to go. | ||
| Just keep pumping out the content. | ||
| Let people know you're there. | ||
| They'll be psyched when everything gets back up and running again. | ||
| You guys back up and running to your live shows. | ||
| I hope we're all on the road again at the very least this summer. | ||
| I really hope so. | ||
| It's been fun though. | ||
| Having this podcast. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| Fun times. | ||
| Give everybody your Instagram. | ||
| Redband. | ||
| R-E-D-B-A-N. Twitter, same. | ||
| Yeah, Redband. | ||
| And check my VR out. | ||
| I'm doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Almost every night I'm doing VR. Can I join in there and fuck with you? | |
| They're in the chat room. | ||
| I have the chat room open right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But no, no, no. | |
| I mean like in the game. | ||
| They can when I'm playing VRChat, which is my second thing I've been playing a lot, VRChat. | ||
| It's like an old chat room back in the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, so you can see it when you're in VR? You know, Ready Player One, where everyone's a different avatar? | |
| That's how it is. | ||
| It's like you come up and SpongeBob's talking to you. | ||
| Fucking movie, man! | ||
| Oh, so you actually talk to the people and you see them? | ||
| Oh, you see them? | ||
| You have sex with them in the game. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| So check it out. | ||
| Redband on YouTube. | ||
| Oh, they're going to all fuck you now. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| That was a good one dude. |
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