Dec. 6, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:08:40
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I gotta get a picture of that. | ||
| Matt Fair, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Joe Rogan. | ||
| We're going live. | ||
| Are we? | ||
| Dude, the interior of your car is fucking disgusting, and I can't believe you like it. | ||
| Why would you do that when you can get any interior? | ||
| You could make it any color. | ||
| You decided to do, what is it, bus? | ||
| It's city bus fabric. | ||
| City, legitimately? | ||
| It's actual city bus fabric. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, we got it from the city bus supplier. | ||
| Is it just like puke resistant or something? | ||
| It's everything resistant. | ||
| UV, dirt, stain. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But does it feel good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Hi, everybody. | ||
| Hi, it's Matt Farrow. | ||
| I have an old 911. It's called a Safari build. | ||
| This guy named Lee Keen built it, and I showed it to Joe. | ||
| I brought it here. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I see people on the video. | ||
| We're looking at the smoking tire on Instagram. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And that's my everyday car in LA. You drive that everywhere? | ||
| Yeah, it's got big fog lights and bash bars and it's got a lift on it. | ||
| It's a manual too, right? | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah. | ||
| In traffic. | ||
| Yeah, but I also have a little scooter. | ||
| So when I need to go fight traffic, I leave it on you. | ||
| You drive a scooter? | ||
| Yeah, a little Yamaha 125. Oh Jesus. | ||
| Bro, you wear a fanny pack. | ||
| I can ride a scooter. | ||
| I mean, for your own health and safety. | ||
| No, it's the best. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's the best. | |
| I mean, look, riding motorcycles is dangerous. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| But I think it's a calculated risk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And, like, the other day, my wife and I left the house at the same time. | ||
| We live in Venice. | ||
| And she left in a car, and I left on the scooter. | ||
| And, like, exactly, like, 40 minutes later, I got off the bike and texted her that I was at my destination in Koreatown, and she was at her destination in Culver City. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| So I was literally, like... | ||
| Double, triple the distance that she had gone. | ||
| But anyway, the city bus fabric is amazing. | ||
| And I fully anticipated that 90% of the people would like it and 10% of the people would find it deeply offensive. | ||
| I'm surprised that you fell into the offensive scene. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| It's cool, man. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| I mean, yes, it's gross. | ||
| I mean, it's fun. | ||
| It's fun that you did that. | ||
| I mean, I'm not offended. | ||
| It is fun. | ||
| Here in LA, a car is kind of like your outfit a little bit. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| If I'm going to put a message out there of myself in a car, I don't want to be some douchey shitbag in a Porsche. | ||
| I want to be the guy who's in a pink Porsche with big tires on it and a bus interior. | ||
| That, to me, it says a little more about me than it does about Porsche is a weird car, right? | ||
| Ferrari is 100% douchebag. | ||
| They take themselves very seriously. | ||
| It's really hard to not be a douchebag in a Ferrari. | ||
| Although I did see a really interesting one that this guy built in England where he took a Dino and he put a 400 plus horsepower modern Ferrari engine in it and put like a clear glass over the engine bay and everything you could take off and bring the car back to stock. | ||
| It was almost the sort of singerization of a Dino. | ||
| So the Dino is one of the prettiest Ferraris ever, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Beautiful car. | |
| But if you've ever driven one, they sound great, but they're just slow as dog shit. | ||
| I mean, they're the V6s. | ||
| It's the smallest engine Ferrari ever made. | ||
| Do you know the website for the guy that did it, or the YouTube channel? | ||
| I think his name was David Lee, and he built it. | ||
| He claimed it was an F40 engine, which I don't think was entirely accurate. | ||
| I think he exaggerated a little bit. | ||
| I think it's an engine from a 360 that has been modified in certain ways. | ||
| Because an F40 has more than 400 horsepower. | ||
| Well, it also had turbos. | ||
| You just wouldn't use an F40 engine for that. | ||
| It would be like using... | ||
| Something that's very valuable and not really replaceable for purposes of modification doesn't make much sense. | ||
| When other options are available that could deliver you the same result. | ||
| Like a 360. What did a 360 have when it came with the Modena? | ||
| Like 400 horsepower. | ||
| Yeah, like around 400. And the Dino's got to be like, what is that? | ||
| 2,500 pounds? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They're tiny. | ||
| They're tiny, and they're made of nothing. | ||
| I mean, $2,500 is maybe a good number. | ||
| They're little. | ||
| It looks so wild. | ||
| Yeah, and I've heard that car. | ||
| That car lives here. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah, that car lives in Los Angeles. | ||
|
unidentified
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No way! | |
| The black one? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it lives here. | ||
| I've seen it at car shows. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's gotta be a half a million dollar car, right? | |
| It's weird, because you actually have to... | ||
| Yes, it probably is... | ||
| A half a million dollars would be a very low estimate for... | ||
| It's like $700,000. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| A really good original Dino. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| So it's actually... | ||
| That's not the car because the car has a hard top or is it a Targa? | ||
| It's a Targa. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a Targa. | |
| Oh, look how pretty it is. | ||
| It's better with the roof off, isn't it? | ||
| Look at that picture with the back end of it right there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Bam. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| So what's so interesting about the car is... | ||
| It's almost like a Corvette. | ||
| It's actually hard to tell it apart from a regular Dino if you don't know what you're looking for. | ||
| The things to look for, obviously that badge on the left that says Evo something, and then the clear engine cover with the big bubble in the middle of the engine bonnet has changed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By the way, that badge can go fuck itself. | ||
| The badge doesn't need to be there. | ||
| Get that off of there. | ||
| The exhaust is a little bigger. | ||
| I like the exhaust. | ||
| I like the exhaust. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's fine. | |
| I wish they had some grip to the tires. | ||
| Those are some skinny-ass, bitch-ass tires. | ||
| Well, look how narrow. | ||
| I mean, you're talking about a car that Without widening the body, there's only so much you can do. | ||
| I imagine a modern rubber compound. | ||
| What they did was they reproduced the Dino's, I think they're Campagnolo wheels, which were probably like 15s on the Dino, and I think they're 17s here. | ||
| So pretty. | ||
| You want to talk expensive. | ||
| Yeah, David Lee, the Monza 3.6 Evo Dino. | ||
| So 3.6, that's what tells me it's a 360 engine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it was a F40 engine, it'd be a 2.8 liter engine. | ||
| Oh, with turbos. | ||
| With turbos, yeah. | ||
| God, that's a pretty car. | ||
| Which, by the way, if it had an F40 engine, it'd be a fucking death trap. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| You would sail that thing right off a cliff. | ||
| With 400 horsepower, it's got to be crazy fast. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what? | ||
| It's going to be linear, right? | ||
| Without the turbo spool, you have that natural build of power, and you really kind of can just use less throttle. | ||
| It won't just jump out at you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, you are a man of taste, Joe. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| It's a beautiful ride. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| They're selling them. | ||
| Are they really? | ||
| Yeah, they're trying to build a run of them. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I think they're... | ||
| Like Singer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But here's the problem with doing this with Ferraris, though. | ||
| Ferrari people... | ||
| Even if you did something to the level of singer, Ferrari people aren't really like that. | ||
| Ferrari people are originality over everything. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't understand those folks. | ||
| They don't like modifying the cars. | ||
| They don't like a car that's previously been modified. | ||
| It's all about that numbers matching shit. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| It's not for you. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's not really for me either. | ||
| I love driving the Ferraris, but I don't align with the Ferrari fan really values so much. | ||
| But I'd like to own one soon. | ||
| Maybe an 80s one. | ||
| What would you like? | ||
| Something a little silly. | ||
| Like a Testarossa? | ||
| Driven Testarossas are fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dana White has a Testarossa. | ||
| The maintenance is crazy. | ||
| And he had it completely redone. | ||
| He's like, fuck you. | ||
| We put a new interior, a modern stereo, everything. | ||
| It's probably nice. | ||
| They need a lot of maintenance, though. | ||
| Testarossas have timing belts. | ||
| See, timing belts are something that Italians were doing for a long time, and they should just never be done again. | ||
| That sounds terrible. | ||
| They wear out, and they need to be changed. | ||
| And in the case of the Testarossa, you're talking about a giant flat 12 engine. | ||
| They're in the front. | ||
| So they're up against the firewall behind the seats. | ||
| So you have to take off the whole back of the car and take the whole engine out of the car to do these timing belts. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Starting with the modern stuff, they use chains. | ||
| They brought that into the 21st century and they don't have to fucking fuck with belts anymore. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| But even like Lamborghini at the time, like I have a Countach, which is the best car ever made, and you don't have to do that bullshit because even Lamborghini used chains. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So you don't need to do the engine out. | ||
| Why did Ferrari go with belts? | ||
| I think they thought it was smoother. | ||
| Enzo Ferrari also had utter contempt for the people who bought his streetcars, and I wouldn't be surprised if he did it just so the dealers would make more money on the services, even if he knew it was worse. | ||
| Why did he have so much contempt for the people who bought his cars? | ||
| Enzo Ferrari just wanted to go racing. | ||
| He was an egomaniac, and all he ever wanted to do was see his cars win races, and he came to a point where he couldn't make money doing that, and he had to sell streetcars to customers, but throughout his entire life, he openly treated those people with disdain. | ||
| That's the story of Lamborghini. | ||
| The story of Lamborghini is Ferruccio Lamborghini had a Ferrari in It was not working for one reason or another. | ||
| He went to Ferrari to complain about it. | ||
| Enzo basically told him to go fuck himself. | ||
| And so he said, I'll build a better car. | ||
| And that's the story of Lamborghini. | ||
| And what do they own by now? | ||
| Lamborghini is a Volkswagen Audi group. | ||
| Yeah, VAG. So they're more reliable now. | ||
| Yes, but so are Ferraris. | ||
| Around 2010-ish, when the 458 came out, Ferraris took a massive jump in reliability. | ||
| How'd they do that? | ||
| First off, the big one is the dual-clutch gearbox, which, you know, stick shifts were one thing, right? | ||
| And then these early single-clutch paddle-shift gearbox, they'd fry clutches like crazy. | ||
| People didn't really know how to use them right, and they'd ride the clutches out, and they would just go through clutches like crazy. | ||
| The dual-clutch cars have much more, like, fail-safe type stuff built into them, and they actually work properly. | ||
| But Ferrari used to have the gated shifter, which is one of the coolest things ever. | ||
| The best, yeah. | ||
| The clinkety-clink. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| Sliding into gears. | ||
| There's nothing more rewarding than, like, banging a Ferrari off the reveler. | ||
| So why did they stop that? | ||
| People stopped... | ||
| The problem with Ferrari is that they're new. | ||
| The problem with all new exotic, the first owners of exotic cars, is they want that new technology that's from racing. | ||
| Also, it's improved the drivability. | ||
| If you want to buy a Ferrari or a Lamborghini and drive it around in the city and use it as a car, you could buy a Ferrari right now and it could just be your car. | ||
| in the 70s or 80s or even 90s. | ||
| Like, you could literally use a modern, exotic car, be it Ferrari, Lamborghini, McLaren, Audi, whatever. | ||
| That could be your only car now. | ||
| And the gearbox technology is a lot of what's made that possible. | ||
| And computer-controlled, like, engine management systems. | ||
| God, though. | ||
| It's a little disappointing. | ||
| One thing I'm really happy that Porsche hasn't done that, but they have with the GT3 RS. GT3 RS, this last year and now the new ones. | ||
| What do you mean, only automatics? | ||
| All automatics. | ||
| Well, the RS though, the RS is, in Porsche speak, is the fastest version of what they can build. | ||
| They have the GT3 Touring with a stick. | ||
| That's the one you want. | ||
| You want the Touring. | ||
| Why do I want the Touring? | ||
| Because it's a fucking stick. | ||
| Because the 4-liter engine with a stat 6-speed gearbox is the best engine-transmission combination available in cars today, period. | ||
| Yeah, but the wide-body GT3 RS with the vented fenders and... | ||
| You can modify. | ||
| You can modify later. | ||
| You just complained about people who don't want to modify, and now you're complaining about modifying. | ||
| But all that extra effort, why don't they just fucking sell it to you with a stick shift? | ||
| I don't know, bro. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Talk to the Germans. | ||
| I can't fucking win. | ||
| Look, they make a GT3 with a stick. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They make the Cayman GT4 with a stick. | ||
| They make the Boxer Spider with a stick. | ||
| You can buy a 911. Any level of 911 with a stick. | ||
| Well, you can't buy the Turbo. | ||
| Not the Turbo. | ||
| They're the only ones you can count on, though. | ||
| It seems like it's all going away. | ||
| Even Corvette, the new Corvettes, double clutch. | ||
| They said the new GT500, they haven't ruled out the possibility of having a stick shift. | ||
| Well, so look, with the GT500, they just announced this thing. | ||
| It's like 750 horsepower. | ||
| I've driven a lot of really powerful manual transmission cars. | ||
| For me, once the car goes over about 500, I don't want to shift anymore. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't when I'm driving it on a racetrack as fast as it will go. | ||
| When I went to test the Corvette ZR1, the last front engine one, when it went just completely fucking bananas, right? | ||
| 750 horsepower. | ||
| I went to Road Atlanta to drive it, and they had a manual and they had an automatic for me to drive. | ||
| And I drove the manual, and it was so fucking fast that I did not feel comfortable taking my hand off the wheel to do the shifts. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| And I was like, at this level of performance, I really need to have both my hands on the wheel. | ||
| And I'm a pretty decent driver. | ||
| I'm not, like, shit. | ||
| I'm not the best, but I'm not shit. | ||
| And then when I drove the automatic car, I went, okay, I feel way more comfortable at this pace with my hands on the wheel. | ||
| But this eight-speed automatic they have is the biggest hunk of flaming shit ever put into a sports car. | ||
| And so with the C8, with the new one, they got rid of the manual And decided to substantially improve the auto with a new dual-clutch 8-speed, which, you know, for you and for me, is sad that there's no stick. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| But I kind of get it because it's just sort of what progress looks like. | ||
| I get it if you're going to take it to a racetrack. | ||
| I do get it. | ||
| But how many people are taking their goddamn Corvette to a racetrack? | ||
| You know, it's not even really about that. | ||
| It's sadder. | ||
| It's sadder than that. | ||
| It's really about how do we get the 0-60 time under three seconds. | ||
| Because when they had the Z06, which was 650 horsepower, and then they had the ZR1, which was 750 horsepower, they couldn't get it to 60 any faster. | ||
| Detroit is still so suck in fucking 0-60 that... | ||
| That is important for some reason. | ||
| And adding 100 horsepower didn't change the 0 to 60 because of the front engine rear drive. | ||
| You're just traction limited at that point. | ||
| Just burnouts. | ||
| So by putting the engine in the back, you change the weight distribution. | ||
| Now you've got a dual clutch 8-speed instead of a manual 7-speed. | ||
| Now you can get in that 2-second range to 60, which doesn't improve the experience, but it does improve the number on that magazine cover. | ||
| The number. | ||
| But everybody knows. | ||
| I mean, how do you not know? | ||
| It's a fucking fast car. | ||
| You know it's fast. | ||
| The GT500's a real bummer, though, because that's such a muscle car. | ||
| You know, it's the same gearbox. | ||
| It's the same version of the Tremec dual-clutch from the Corvette is in the Mustang. | ||
| It has a different number of gears, incidentally. | ||
| It's a seven-speed in the Mustang and an eight-speed in the Corvette, but it's the same family of brand-new Tremec dual-clutch gearboxes. | ||
| What has a wider contact with the tires? | ||
| I don't know what the Mustang's got. | ||
| It seems narrower, right? | ||
| If I had to guess, the Mustang had wider. | ||
| The C8 Corvette has 305 rears. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With a mid-engine car, what is interesting about a mid-engine car is you find this a lot. | ||
| I bet if you went out and looked at a Ferrari, like a 458 or something, you'd be shocked at how narrow the tires are. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you do a mid-engine car, you can give up a lot of that huge fat rear rubber because the weight distribution doesn't necessitate it. | ||
| Tire sizes are typically chosen by the weight distribution of the car. | ||
| So like your 911, your air-cooled car, your old one, right? | ||
| You've got big fat rears and you've got relatively skinny fronts. | ||
| That's because that engine is over the rears. | ||
| So in a mid-engined, like a, I just looked this up for an unrelated thing, in the 458, the front tires are only 245s on that and the rear tires are 305s. | ||
| So whereas a Corvette, your front tires are like 275, the old Corvette, front tires are 275, rears are like 335. That difference in weight distribution is how big of a difference you need in tires. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
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Have you driven the GT500? No, I didn't get to do it yet, unfortunately. | |
| It looks fun. | ||
| Someone posted a video. | ||
| It ran a 10.6 quarter mile out of the box. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's a very, very fast car. | ||
| I cannot believe some of the cars that people can just buy. | ||
| Well, speaking of which, that Porsche that you sent me the video. | ||
| Yeah, the Taycan. | ||
| I've got to say it right. | ||
| Taycan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're going to fuck that one up for years. | ||
| That thing looks preposterous. | ||
| Look, I know how preposterous my Tesla is. | ||
| I tell everybody when they say, oh, you have really fast cars. | ||
| I'm like, see that one right there? | ||
| The one that looks like a dad car? | ||
| That one blows all of them away. | ||
| And you can drive a complete piece of shit because it's silent, too, and no one notices you. | ||
| Oh, God, it's so quiet. | ||
| You just pass people. | ||
| You just whiz by them. | ||
| Nothing happens. | ||
| Yeah, a Tesla is the new BMW in terms of people who are driving like shitbags on the way to work. | ||
| Because when it's silent, people don't call the cops or sneer. | ||
| You're just kind of gone. | ||
| Dude, I was at a red light with some kid in a Model 3 and I was in my GT3 RS and he blew by me. | ||
| I wasn't even trying to race him because I know better because I have a Tesla, but it was the humiliation factor. | ||
| He passed me and then got in front of me and then got on the highway like it was nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
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Shoo! | |
| An EV, a fast EV, if you live in Los Angeles, is the correct tool for this job. | ||
| If you have a home, or in your case, a fucking sick warehouse to keep it charged. | ||
| Supercharger network's pretty good, but I wouldn't say you can use it exclusively. | ||
| You need some kind of home base to charge, or your office. | ||
| People that live in apartment complexes that have Teslas, I don't know how you do it. | ||
| Yeah, if you don't live in a building where you can get them to install one... | ||
| Or you work in a building where you have something there. | ||
| EVs are amazing, and they're super, super fun, and I totally get why people... | ||
| I get your EV evangelism transformation. | ||
| You, having gone from the analog school of manual gearboxes and fucking loud, to experience that level of silent performance, you must have felt like you're in a fucking spaceship. | ||
| It still seems like a spaceship when I drive that thing. | ||
| It's so quiet. | ||
| It makes me feel good, though. | ||
| Well, do you find that you get a little more relaxed, right? | ||
| Yeah, I like it when I take it to the airport, too, because I put it on auto. | ||
| I go doo-doo, and I get on the 405, and I just chill. | ||
| In traffic, it's nice. | ||
| Oh, it's the best. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I totally get it. | ||
| Be careful with that. | ||
| Oh, I have my hand on the wheel. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Be careful with saying it drives itself. | ||
| It doesn't. | ||
| It doesn't drive itself. | ||
| What does it do? | ||
| Here the rabbit hole begins. | ||
| It has an advanced driver's aid system. | ||
| Okay, so it has follow, you know, follows the car in front of you, and it has a pretty good lane keep assist. | ||
| But now we go into the Joe Rogan rabbit hole of what does driving mean? | ||
| So driving involves decision-making, and driving involves a lot of mental processes that cars can't do. | ||
| And so that's when people talk about terms like self-driving cars or full self-driving or whatever. | ||
| They're not usually using those terms correctly. | ||
| So a bunch of cars, not just Tesla right now, although Tesla's system is very good, have a very good lane keep assist and a very good radar cruise system. | ||
| And they have different methods of trying to ensure the driver's paying attention. | ||
| But I think the marketing is a little bit disingenuous and they really want people who don't know better to think and feel like this is a car that drives itself. | ||
| Well, they're kind of putting it on beta. | ||
| It's all just beta right now. | ||
| Bro, I'm riding my scooter. | ||
| I know! | ||
| I just had a Model 3 for a week, like a couple weeks ago, and I liked it so much, and I gave it back, and I went, God, maybe I should lease one of these. | ||
| This is cool. | ||
| But the auto steering feature, I used it for about 20 minutes, and it scared the piss out of me twice. | ||
| And I went, Have you seen that company called Axis that takes a Model S and they put a carbon body, wide body kit onto it? | ||
| No, that sounds like fun though. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| The Axis Model SP100D. They replace the entire body with carbon? | ||
| They take the fenders off, they put wide-body fenders on, they do a bunch of different shit to it. | ||
| Are you going to do this? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I wouldn't fuck with that. | ||
| Yeah, they fuck with the suspension, they tighten up the suspension, they change the wheels, and they completely redo the interior. | ||
| They strip the interior out. | ||
| Well, that's where I would start. | ||
| Yeah, custom interior, put in whatever you want and need. | ||
| For, you know, Teslas are, they're such cool cars, and they're such, you know, they're such, like you said, serene. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what I mean? | |
| And I don't want to give that credit exclusively to Tesla, because other EVs provide a similar experience, too. | ||
| But the one place they're lacking, for the amount of money they charge, their interiors are a little behind the times. | ||
| Yeah, ask me if I'm getting one of those trucks. | ||
| Bro, good luck. | ||
| Ask me if I'm getting one of those trucks. | ||
| You getting a truck, Joe? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Why are you asking? | ||
| Of course I'm getting one of them trucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| You don't like it? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| You don't like it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't like it and I... How dare you? | ||
| I'm not entirely sure it's real. | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
|
unidentified
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Interesting. | |
| I think... | ||
|
unidentified
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Look at that. | |
| I mean look, my initial reaction to that was that's not a real thing. | ||
| And my second reaction is I'm pretty sure they couldn't build and sell that in America. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I just don't think that that will pass the test that it needs to pass. | ||
| And furthermore... | ||
| What kind of test? | ||
| Like crash tests, pedestrian safety, stuff like that. | ||
| Furthermore, it's because... | ||
| How do I say this without... | ||
| It's really hard to talk about Tesla because their fans are fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They get mad. | |
| They get really mad and they don't leave me alone about it. | ||
| They get crazy. | ||
| They're coming at you already. | ||
| In the beginning, I thought that it's complete bullshit and fake and a fraud. | ||
| I've talked to a few people since in the design space who design cars professionally for a living. | ||
| And I have been convinced that it could be possible to build and sell a... | ||
| A vehicle shaped sort of like that. | ||
| Although not exactly like that. | ||
| Having said that, I think that the way that it has been marketed is not entirely... | ||
| How so? | ||
| Companies show concept cars all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's nothing wrong with showing a concept car. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with going, here's a prototype we built and this is going to show the direction of our industry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And if you build electric cars as your business, it's pretty easy to build a concept car that runs and drives because you've got your skateboard and you can just put any body on it, right? | ||
| So odds are there's like a Model X chassis underneath that prototype truck, right? | ||
| One, I don't think that accepting reservations is an honest thing to do when you don't know how you're going to build the truck. | ||
| There's no way that truck's on the road next year. | ||
| No way. | ||
| One time it's supposed to be on the road next year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did? | |
| He said 20? | ||
| He said next year. | ||
| 2021. Did he say 2023? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| The full three-motor 500 range badass one is like a three-year down-the-line thing. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| Building cars and warrantying them, repairing them, selling them is like a logistics business. | ||
| They're operating this company like a tech company where it runs on hype. | ||
| Like, where's the Roadster? | ||
| That's supposed to come out this year. | ||
| When is that coming out? | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| I haven't seen anything about it since the prototype. | ||
| Give me a guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| They've had these product launches and they build up the hype. | ||
| It juices the stock. | ||
| They take the reservations. | ||
| But then it's like, you have to deliver the product, guys. | ||
| You're actually a car company. | ||
| You're not exclusively driven on hype. | ||
| But they have made some cars. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Of course they made it. | ||
| There's one here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I'm not saying they don't build and sell cars. | ||
| They build and sell cars. | ||
| But what I am saying is their business model is not... | ||
| Like the regular car companies in that it is so dependent on this hype machine bringing in new investors, bringing in new reservation cash. | ||
| When they go, here's this crazy total recall space truck. | ||
| And all it's going to cost you people to buy into my space truck vision is $100 refundable. | ||
| And you're not going to find out if that $100 gets you a truck for like two and a half years. | ||
| Are you going to go after your $100 if he's late? | ||
| But I'm not saying you shouldn't buy whatever he sells. | ||
| Isn't the Roadster thing a different deal though? | ||
| Don't you have to pay all the money or something? | ||
| There is a reservation process. | ||
| All I'm saying is... | ||
| I feel like the Roadster thing was different, though. | ||
| That requires a substantial sum of money. | ||
| Right, but we haven't seen any Roadsters either. | ||
| Not one, but we saw the prototype. | ||
| Yeah, but it's easy to build a prototype when you're Tesla. | ||
| Tesla can build a prototype very easily. | ||
| They've got an electric skateboard. | ||
| They can put any body on it. | ||
| It'll look and feel like a mostly run and driving car. | ||
| What's it say here? | ||
| $45,000. | ||
| $5,000 credit card payment plus $45,000 wire transfer due in 10 days. | ||
| So you've got to put up $50,000. | ||
| So you're giving him a zero interest loan of $50,000 until he delivers this product. | ||
| Which is like a good income for a lot of people for a year. | ||
| And you've got to give it up. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And so I'm not saying that they don't build and sell real cars. | ||
| I'm not saying you shouldn't buy one or lease one. | ||
| I am saying, and this goes for, let's expand this. | ||
| This isn't a dig at Elon or Tesla specifically. | ||
| Let's talk about all cars. | ||
| Don't pay for something that isn't then handed to you. | ||
| Elon's a billionaire. | ||
| Why do you need to give him a zero-interest loan of $50,000 for a Roadster? | ||
| Why do you need to give him a zero-interest loan of $100 for a truck that he hasn't demonstrated he could build yet? | ||
| Why do you think they made the Roadster 50 grand? | ||
| And the down payment for the truck, only $100. | ||
| Because, I will tell you why. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| I'm going to put this in I believe, okay? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I believe it's so they could go to a bank or a VC, because if it's only $100, you get so many, what the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| 500,000 orders. | ||
| You go, I've got 250,000 orders, I need a billion dollars. | ||
| That's why you would do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at Because look, the problem is, if it's legitimate, if it's all on the up and up, if everything is on the up and up, there's a lot of individual pieces that don't really add up. | ||
| And a house that's not made of... | ||
| It's like imagine the mortgage crisis in 08. You took all these bad mortgages and you put them together and all of a sudden it's considered a good investment, right? | ||
| So... | ||
| He smashed the fucking window on stage. | ||
| He quoted a bunch of power and torque figures that are basically made up. | ||
| He did that dumb video with tug-of-war the F-150 that was completely fake. | ||
| Why is it fake? | ||
| The F-150 was in two-wheel drive and he was towing it uphill. | ||
| That's not like... | ||
| Making it easier for the car to drive downhill than uphill? | ||
| No. | ||
| Towing uphill, the weight transfer is if you have a two-wheel drive pickup truck going downhill. | ||
| My friend Jason Fenske at Engineering Explained did a whole video debunking this. | ||
| But if you have an all-wheel drive, extremely heavy vehicle, because let's be honest, if they build that truck, that's a 6,500-pound vehicle. | ||
| Steel and batteries, all-wheel drive. | ||
| Versus a pickup truck that's put into two-wheel drive with no weight in the bed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So all automakers make up silly games to show up their product, right? | ||
| They tow the space shuttle or whatever bullshit they do, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But they make up a game they know they can win. | ||
| They don't make up a game and then cheat at it. | ||
| Like, why are you going to do a tug-of-war video if you then have to cheat at the video on video to do it? | ||
| Like, pick a different game you know you can win. | ||
| Like, what kind of a person makes up a game and then cheats at it? | ||
| Like, that's just... | ||
| Well, you hear Ford wanted to get one of their own. | ||
| They're like, well, why don't you give us one of your Teslas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then somebody up at the top said, don't engage that idiot. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I'm not doing this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So look, again, well, they probably can't, realistically, it can't really compete with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think a tug-of-war test is not a test of anything. | ||
| It's a test of weight and tire grip. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| But when you're a truck guy, you've got to realize... | ||
| It's a thing they do. | ||
| A truck guy is like, we're going to win! | ||
| Bro, let's bring that cyber truck over to a gravel pit and dump two tons of gravel in the bed. | ||
| Did you see any of the renderings of people camping in the Cybertruck? | ||
| It looks absurd. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Dude, you want to buy one? | ||
| Wait till he says, this is the one you can buy. | ||
| I haven't put an order in. | ||
| But I would. | ||
| $200. | ||
| Congratulations, you just bought into the scam. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't think it's like a full-on fraud. | ||
| I just think he's figured out creative ways to get the public to bankroll shit that he already said was done. | ||
| Bro, a million robo-taxis by 2020. Where's the robo-taxis, bro? | ||
| Is that what he said? | ||
| Yeah, this Cybertruck thing came out of seemingly nowhere, but right kind of at the same time that they figured out that full self-driving is not right around the corner as they said it was. | ||
| There's a lot of backtracking going on in the full self-driving. | ||
| Level 5 is not coming anytime soon. | ||
| You're not going to be able to send your Tesla out To do errands for you without a driver in it anytime soon. | ||
| What was the parking? | ||
| Tesla promises one million robo-taxis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| That was from 2019, 419? | ||
| I mean, technically they have a year and a month left, but they have delivered zero robo-taxis. | ||
| That's a lot of robo-taxis. | ||
| Yeah, a million? | ||
| He did. | ||
| He said that shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The problem with Tesla is Elon says some shit that then is impossible, and then they have to figure out how to do it later, and sometimes it doesn't work. | ||
| Do you know who Kyle Dunning is? | ||
| No, who's that? | ||
| One of the funniest guys alive. | ||
| He's got the best Instagram on the planet, and he does face swaps. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Now that you know, you didn't know. | ||
| Is it the deep fake guy? | ||
| Now that you know, he does a lot. | ||
| Well, Dr. Fakenstein did a lot of his stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's the one. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The fakening, that's the one. | ||
| Look at his newest one. | ||
| Give me some volume on this. | ||
| Give me some volume on this, and go to full screen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| How creepy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fuck! | ||
| Fucking shit. | ||
| Oh, great idea, Lon. | ||
| Do it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Same window, same ball. | |
| This should go differently. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Oh, fucking shit. | ||
| You fool. | ||
| Now I, Mark Zuckerberg, is officially cooler than you. | ||
| No, I'm cooler. | ||
| I make rockets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Well, I connect the world through Facebook. | ||
| I'm cooler. | ||
| I'm double cooler. | ||
| Double. | ||
| I'm infinity cool. | ||
| I'm infinity plus one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's one more cooler. | |
| You can't add anything to infinity, you fool. | ||
| Only a nerd who's uncool would know that. | ||
| Very uncool. | ||
| Well, how about this? | ||
| This is too close, dude. | ||
| This is too real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have all the data, and I found this invention you unveiled in high school. | |
| So, so, it senses if you're getting a bono in class, and then deploys this over you, letting everyone know you don't have a bono. | ||
| So, it's pretty cool. | ||
| Pretty cool. | ||
| I know I could use this in Miss Tinsley's class. | ||
| She's got great boobs. | ||
| Great boobs, Miss Tinsley. | ||
| Great boobs. | ||
| Fucking weird. | ||
| That smashing of the glass was one of the greatest moments in automotive history. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| I was laying in bed, and my wife was next to me asleep. | ||
| And out of nowhere... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit, he did it again! | |
| Why did they think that they could do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| I know that the idea was that when they hit the wall or hit the door with the hammer that it broke the glass or... | ||
| No, first he was going to hit the door with a sledgehammer. | ||
| They did that. | ||
| But except he was using an orange hammer, which is a dead blow hammer, not a sledgehammer. | ||
| So that's a little disingenuous. | ||
| Dead blow? | ||
| Yeah, it's designed to not dent things. | ||
| It's designed to hit things without denting them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then, he said the windows were bulletproof. | |
| Probably, because they're aluminum, but not a thick stainless steel panel. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who wouldn't dent a stainless steel panel? | ||
| And then he goes, the windows are bulletproof or whatever, and throws a fucking steel ball right through it. | ||
| And then he puts up a video the next day that's like, oh, here was us testing it right before the reveal where it actually worked. | ||
| They did show that it worked before. | ||
| Why did it work before? | ||
| How do you know the video was made before and not after? | ||
| After they fixed it. | ||
| There's a shop vac on the floor and a towel over the door as if you had just cleaned up a bunch of broken glass. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Yeah, go look at the video. | ||
| There's a shop vac on the floor with a hose laid out right underneath the door. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Shop vac! | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And that towel's over a door kind of maybe if you had just smashed a bunch of glass out of it. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That is a dope-looking car. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| I'm glad you don't care what anybody thinks. | ||
| I'm all in. | ||
| If they make that, I will be... | ||
| And can I just bring up... | ||
| What? | ||
| Is the word cyber, like, cool now? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, cyber was exclusively uncool for, like, the last 15 years. | ||
| It's cool again? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Very cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Very cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Only nerds, only a real nerd, wouldn't know that cyber is cool. | |
| Cool plus one. | ||
| Fucking hell. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| Well, I'm sure you've seen that Resvani military bulletproof car that releases tacks, electrifies the door handle. | ||
| You know, I was at the fucking gas station. | ||
| I had a really bad experience with the Resvani. | ||
| I was at the gas station once, pumping gas, and this fucking Resvani pulls up. | ||
| I'm like, who is driving that fucking thing? | ||
| Was it Tyrese? | ||
| And Jamie Foxx jumps out. | ||
| He goes, what's up, Joe Rogan? | ||
| I was like, what's up, Jamie? | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Is he a spokesman? | ||
| He's gotta be a spokesman or something, right? | ||
| I think he's friends with the guy who owns it and the guy gave it to him or something. | ||
| That's hysterical. | ||
| I don't think he's a spokesman. | ||
| Jamie's busy. | ||
| He's busy winning Oscars and making Grammys. | ||
| He's got no time to be a spokesman for a tank. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I drove this company's other car. | ||
| They have a car called the Beast, the Resvani Beast. | ||
| Oh, let me see what that looks like. | ||
| I drove it. | ||
| It wasn't good. | ||
| Well, it's based on a Wrangler, right? | ||
| Well, the tank is. | ||
| The Beast is based on an Ariel Atom. | ||
| What? | ||
| Do you know what that is? | ||
| Yeah, the three-wheeled thing? | ||
| Or the four-wheel? | ||
| No, it's a four-wheel, yeah. | ||
| That looks so good, though. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| No, so, Jamie, the red one with no roof in the middle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the one I drove. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| So that's the one I drove. | ||
| How's that not good? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It looks good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How's it possible? | |
| So what they've done there is they took an Ariel Atom, which is a car that has no body on it, right? | ||
| It's like driving a fucking sled, basically. | ||
| And they're crazy. | ||
| They're batshit. | ||
| And they made body work that goes over it. | ||
| That's pretty much what they've done, okay? | ||
| But in order to make it... | ||
| Look kind of badass like a supercar. | ||
| They put these really wide wheels and tires on the car, which when you have an Ariel Atom that has no power steering and a very dialed in and even sort of twitchy steering rack, this thing had one of the sketchiest, I mean, the sketchiest handling of top five sketchiest handling cars I've ever driven. | ||
| Look at the doors. | ||
| Yeah, it's a real interesting kind of door design. | ||
| I've never seen one that had those doors. | ||
| They slide forward? | ||
| That looks CGI-ish a little bit. | ||
| That seems super annoying. | ||
| It's like the reverse minivan door. | ||
| Go back to that black one. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Look, I admit it. | ||
| It does look pretty cool. | ||
| It's a badass looking thing, but it just didn't drive good. | ||
| And the guy got kind of mad at me when I made a video saying that it didn't drive good. | ||
| He got mad at you? | ||
| He got a little mad. | ||
| He was a little upset. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did you expect? | |
| You were going to only promote his thing for free? | ||
| I I think sometimes they expect that, yes. | ||
| That's really silly. | ||
| You gotta do a better job of making a thing. | ||
| I think now I do. | ||
| Send him to the Tycan review. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| Go, hey, look at this. | ||
| We should talk about the Tycan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what happens when something's good. | |
| Because we talked about it for two seconds and got away from it. | ||
| Dude, your video's insane. | ||
| It looks like you're about to fly off the road and into space. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Might be a problem. | ||
| So, it actually is, I think we're at a point, really, where cars are actually too fast to sell to regular people. | ||
| Well, I think that all the time, and I made that argument about the ZR1, because it's so sketchy to drive with the rear wheel drive. | ||
| I'm like, you're selling a 750 horsepower car to someone like me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At least I know how to drive a little bit. | ||
| Dude, you are probably in the top 20% of people in terms of driving a billion in that car. | ||
| Yeah, I can drive a little. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that get those. | ||
| They don't know what happens when you stomp on the gas and go sideways. | ||
| Like that fucking poor guy and Kevin Hart. | ||
| You know, when I saw that, and I saw the fucking lines on the street, I'm like, this guy doesn't know how to drive one of those. | ||
| Yeah, that's a gnarly... | ||
| You can't let someone do that. | ||
| You've got a Hellcat engine, a rear-wheel drive car... | ||
| It was a Cuda, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like a 70 Cuda? | |
| Yes, a 70 Cuda. | ||
| Double the horsepower of stock. | ||
| I bought my 70 Cuda back. | ||
| I heard you did. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you very much. | |
| You're going to make it handle? | ||
| Sending it to Roaster Shop. | ||
| Oh, yeah, perfect. | ||
| They'll do a good job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But with Kevin's crash, he was not driving, right? | ||
| No, his friend was driving, and his friend stomped on the gas, and the car went fucking sideways, and he didn't know what to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just can't do that with regular folks. | ||
| If you're going to have a car like that, you've got to say, hey man, have you ever driven a real muscle car before? | ||
| How about one with 750 fucking horsepower? | ||
| You can't do that, man. | ||
| You've got to understand what you're doing. | ||
| I think a Cuda is probably 500 or 600 pounds lighter than a Hellcat, too. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I mean, really light and really gnarly. | ||
| With those custom builds like that, it's hard. | ||
| I think someone's suing the shop that built it, which is really unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they're suing because of the waist belts, no roll cage, all that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I hope they don't win, because if they do, it's a really bad scene for custom cars all over. | ||
| But even brand new cars. | ||
| I just had a McLaren 720, which is my favorite supercar on the market right now. | ||
| And this thing is 800 horsepower. | ||
| It's a demon of a car. | ||
| Have you driven one? | ||
| No, but I've seen them. | ||
| It's fucking crazy, dude. | ||
| I was at Auto Club Speedway, the NASCAR track, 180 miles an hour on the front straight. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much does it weigh? | ||
| 3100 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
800 horsepower! | |
| Look, that's me. | ||
| That's me about to get black flagged for drifting in a track day. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They give you a black flag? | ||
| Yeah, they don't like when you're drifting in track days. | ||
| What if you said it was a mistake? | ||
| I didn't know how much horsepower it had. | ||
| I got black flagged on like the 10th slide. | ||
| If you do it once, you can be like, oh, I'm managing the throttle. | ||
| Trying to figure it out. | ||
| When the smoke is wafting across on the street. | ||
| But with that car, I mean, oh my god, it's so fucking good, Joe! | ||
| Joe, that car is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of gasoline-powered streetcar performance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's a strong statement from you. | ||
| I've never driven, because you know why? | ||
| It's not just that it's batshit fast. | ||
| Because a lot of their cars are batshit fast, too, although very few are this fast. | ||
| It has this magic suspension technology. | ||
| It doesn't have sway bars. | ||
| Do you know how sway bars work? | ||
| So you can put a stiffer sway bar in your car and it makes it roll less in corners. | ||
| So typically you have to trade off roll and compliance for stiffness and performance. | ||
| The 720 does not use sway bars. | ||
| Instead it uses an electronically actuated independent valve system that allows you to mimic the An infinite number of sway bar combinations in between, you know, full stiff and non-existent. | ||
| So when you put the car into comfort mode, I shit you not, it rides like a Rolls Royce. | ||
| Like a Rolls Royce. | ||
| Not even like a 5 Series BMW or your Tesla. | ||
| Like a Rolls Royce. | ||
| And then you crank it to track and you go full Dorifto and it's just bonsai time. | ||
| How much is one of those? | ||
| That one is a Spyder, so it's $450,000. | ||
| You can buy them used. | ||
| The problem with McLarens and buying them new is they depreciate like crazy. | ||
| So you can buy almost exactly the same car, like two years old, for like $250,000. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That much? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Didn't Stylebender buy one of those? | ||
| He bought a McLaren, but did he buy that model? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Do you know who Stylebender is? | ||
| No, who's that? | ||
| The name sounds familiar. | ||
| UFC middleweight champion. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| Bad motherfucker. | ||
| I've tried to listen to so much of your fighting shows, I'm just not that into it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's all right. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| You're into a lot of shit that I'm sure. | ||
| Oh yeah, he's got a 720. There it is. | ||
| That's the car. | ||
| Yep, that's a 720. And if that's his garage, he's got a 675LT in the background as well. | ||
| I think that's where he bought it. | ||
| Oh, okay, cool. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's the right car for sure. | ||
| It's a spider, too, so the roof comes up and back. | ||
| 11 seconds while you're driving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| 11 seconds up and down. | ||
| How fast can you go? | ||
| I think it's up to 40 or something. | ||
| You can be going pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, I put it up just while driving around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, and I drove through the rain, and I learned that if you go 74 miles an hour, you stay dry. | ||
| Keep it over 74 with the top down, you're staying dry. | ||
| So it just whistles past you. | ||
| Right over your head. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But whenever you stop at a red light, and you're fine. | ||
| Oh, no, you're done. | ||
| It's got to happen on the highway. | ||
| But you make the sickest rooster tails. | ||
| This car makes the sickest rooster tails! | ||
| If you hammer down in the rain, because it spools up the water out the diffuser, and it gets hit with the exhaust, and it does like a Top Gun swirl. | ||
| No! | ||
| It's the fucking tits. | ||
| No! | ||
| Is there video of this anywhere? | ||
| I don't know if I got video of it. | ||
| How did you not get video of this? | ||
| The sickest thing you've ever seen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I know. | ||
| Sometimes it's a missed opportunity. | ||
| God, that sounds so crazy. | ||
| It's so much money. | ||
| $450,000 is so much money for a car. | ||
| I know. | ||
| There's so many of these custom cars that people are making now. | ||
| Like seeing it with that $1.8 million air-cooled. | ||
| The DLS. Yeah. | ||
| You know about that thing? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| The dynamic and lightweighting study. | ||
| Chris Harris was just on my show talking about it. | ||
| I have a real problem with you calling a car a study. | ||
| I didn't call it that! | ||
| Anybody. | ||
| Anybody doing that, like, settle the fuck down. | ||
| I'll tell you what, if Elon called that truck a study, I might be a little less angry about it. | ||
| It's a study. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| Super cool. | ||
| That's very good. | ||
| South Africa. | ||
| Yeah, that thing. | ||
| That's the DLS, yeah. | ||
| That is a $1.8 million car that's not nearly as fast as that McLaren. | ||
| No, but it's got one of the gnarliest engines that money could buy at any price. | ||
| Yeah, the sound. | ||
| That engine, specifically in that, is a four-liter co-developed by a guy named Hans Metzger, who developed the engine in your GT3 RS. He's a legend, the legendary Metzger engine, which people talk about at Porsche. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Co-developed by Metzger and Williams, the Formula One team. | ||
| Jamie, pull up the video of that so we can hear the sound. | ||
| I think it revs to like 10.5. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It revs because this is the first ever air-cooled 911 engine that has a four-valve head. | ||
| 9,000 RPM. Look at that. | ||
| I thought it revs to above nine, but it's bananas. | ||
| Oh, this is Chris Harris driving up the hill at Goodwood, I believe. | ||
| Look at the exhaust. | ||
| Carbon fiber. | ||
| Dude, this car is bananas. | ||
| It's so pretty. | ||
| I don't know who's driving it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd have to be so rich to even consider this. | |
| Well, you know how they ended up doing this. | ||
| They literally had a customer who came to them and said, you know, half a million for the normal car. | ||
| That's great and all. | ||
| But what if I give you a full-on blank check? | ||
| Full blank check. | ||
| This is what they end up with. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| Yeah, turn this shit up. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| See, that's what you need in your life. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| Fly by. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| But let me be honest with you. | ||
| It's like a $400,000 engine. | ||
| It's not as cool as a Shark Works 911 GT3 RS. It's not. | ||
| Because the Shark Works is just as fast. | ||
| You can drive it anywhere. | ||
| You can park it anywhere. | ||
| It handles probably better. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Sounds just as good. | ||
| Bro, there's no rhyme or reason or math that leads you to buying something like this. | ||
| The air-cooled thing is a weird world is what I'm getting into. | ||
| That world's weird. | ||
| Like, if you had a 500-horsepower engine anywhere else that cost you 400 grand, people would kill you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Air-cooled is like... | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| They beat you to death. | ||
| Did you just charge me $400,000 for a fucking engine? | ||
| I'll kill you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did we talk about this on the last show? | ||
| No, we talked about this in text. | ||
| Okay, the value. | ||
| Yeah, air-cooled horsepower is like the worst value in motoring. | ||
| So if you want, like, let's say you're starting with an engine that works. | ||
| You buy a regular car, like my Carrera is an 87. You're starting with an 87 Carrera, okay? | ||
| And you go in and you have an engine that works, and you go to a performance shop and you say, this engine makes about 200 horsepower as it is. | ||
| I want it to make 300 horsepower. | ||
| You have to give him your engine and probably $50,000 or $60,000. | ||
| If you want that engine to make 350 horsepower, you probably have to give him $100,000. | ||
| And if you want that engine to make 400 horsepower, you have to give him a quarter of a million dollars. | ||
| That's what it costs to get that type of... | ||
| So when you see cars like a Singer, where you go, okay, here's a Singer 911, and it's 600 grand, a quarter of a million dollars as that is the engine. | ||
| A Singer's got 50 grand in leather in it. | ||
| 50 grand in raw leather materials. | ||
| Just the materials. | ||
| Just the materials. | ||
| God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This shit adds up, like, real fast. | ||
| Well, the interiors of those things are special. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| They're really special. | ||
| Really, really special. | ||
| But I mean, I guess that's what that Rob guy wanted to do, right? | ||
| Costs no object. | ||
| Yeah, he's really into bespoke everything. | ||
| Their whole thing, everything is important. | ||
| And there's a market for it, too. | ||
| I mean, John Ward with your Bronco over there is maybe a half a bump down from that. | ||
| Not quite as obsessed, but on that same level. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Those aren't cheap. | ||
| No, the Icon stuff is great, and they've got great taste. | ||
| I think it's weird. | ||
| He's got great style. | ||
| What I love about Jonathan Ward is his style. | ||
| Like what he's into. | ||
| I love that he makes those derelicts. | ||
| And the way the guy talks about it. | ||
| His taste is perfect. | ||
| Oh, he's got amazing taste. | ||
| His ideas and design taste. | ||
| But I just had a thought. | ||
| Earlier you were kind of lamenting how these modern supercars aren't analog and they don't do stick. | ||
| That right there is where companies like Singer and Icon come in. | ||
| They will deliver you that analog, not just an analog product, they'll deliver you the, like, in 1999, Porsche stopped making air-cooled engines. | ||
| They started making water-cooled engines. | ||
| But, like, Singer and some other people are like, well, what if you continued developing the air-cooled engine from where Porsche left off? | ||
| And so that is how you end up with... | ||
| Half a million dollars because people that have this kind of money are willing to pay for that analog experience but without any sacrifice at all. | ||
| Or the $1.8 million. | ||
| I think they made, I don't know how many, 20 or 30 of those. | ||
| 20 or 30? | ||
| Bro, These fucking Saudis and these Chinese guys. | ||
| There's no either or. | ||
| There's no either or anymore. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| With these million dollar plus cars, it's all the same 300 people. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| The average Bugatti owner has like 50 cars. | ||
| 50! | ||
| Not fucking 5 or 10. Yeah! | ||
| It's the same 300 people. | ||
| Post Malone has one. | ||
| Just hoovering up shit. | ||
| So is Tracy Morgan. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Tracy Morgan crashed his on the first day. | ||
| First day. | ||
| Tracy Morgan... | ||
| I love seeing Tracy Morgan in a Bugatti. | ||
| That to me is just... | ||
| Fucking spend that Walmart money, you motherfucker! | ||
| Spend all of it. | ||
| How much did they give him from the crash? | ||
| I don't think anyone's ever said, but it was tens of millions of dollars, if not hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
| It's a lot of money. | ||
| It's whatever his lifetime earning potential was as Tracy fucking Morgan. | ||
| That's barely. | ||
| That's a Bugatti Grand Sport Vitesse. | ||
| The roof comes off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that Not element, a CRV just crutched. | |
| Just turned right into him. | ||
| Bro, that CRV's insurance is fucked! | ||
| But that's the kind of car that's going to hit you, a minivan that doesn't give a fuck about life. | ||
| I mean, that's, you know... | ||
| You know, they're like, oh... | ||
| You can worry about that kind of shit, or you can... | ||
| Yesterday, you know, I was in my off-road 911 here, and there was a double right turn lane, right? | ||
| And I was on the outside one, and someone was on the inside one, and they were on their phone, not fucking paying attention. | ||
| We both make the turn, and they don't stay on theirs. | ||
| They just drift into mine. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So I go into the dirt shoulder and fucking hammer down sideways out the dirt shoulder and Pass them out of the dirt. | ||
| That's why you want an off-road 911. Yeah, I guess. | ||
| For those rare moments when you get driven off by an asshole in a minivan. | ||
| Oh, we took a left, but Taycan. | ||
| Taycan. | ||
| It's like 700 horsepower. | ||
| I think they're calling it 610 horsepower and 750 torque. | ||
| But just like the Tesla, the torque is instantaneous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's at zero. | |
| It's at zero. | ||
| So you saw in the video I sent you the fucking launch? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's... | ||
| We're really splitting hairs here with the Tesla and the Porsche. | ||
| Does 2.4 feel different from 2.5? | ||
| I don't know, but my eyes hurt. | ||
| Same shit, right? | ||
| The Porsche has this really interesting thermal management system. | ||
| Tesla, although they do a beautiful road car for the city, they've never gone racing. | ||
| They don't know about endurance racing or real high-performance driving. | ||
| You've seen them struggle with the Nürburgring a little bit. | ||
| It's a little harder than it looks over there. | ||
| What did happen with the Tesla? | ||
| I think they went over there with a prototype. | ||
| They took the interior out of it. | ||
| The Plaid prototype, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Which means it's a wide-body version with three engines, I believe. | ||
| Yeah, they weren't talking about what it was, but I think it's a three-motor car with a widened body and a different aero package and different tires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are there pictures of it? | |
| There were some, and they went back with one with a giant GT3 wing on it, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| It seemed like they... | ||
| The number they originally put out, and you guys talked about on the show, Jamie looked it up, was a compilation of best sector time. | ||
| So they released this sort of theoretical best time, but they never actually ran that complete lap. | ||
| The big difference between a Tesla and the Porsche right now is thermal management. | ||
| Managing heat and cool sort of where it needs to go. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Yeah, there's the prototype. | ||
| And I believe that Tesla can build... | ||
| They're exactly the kind of company that can build a one-off prototype. | ||
| They could go around the Nurburgring very fast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, they're lean. | |
| They could do that. | ||
| You could see how it's wider. | ||
| It looks cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks badass. | |
| It does look pretty badass. | ||
| Yeah, it looks awesome. | ||
| But the... | ||
| Oh, we didn't put out the Apex. | ||
| Show me a photo of the Apex. | ||
| Apex Tesla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| So the Taycan has this really interesting thermal management system that integrates the brakes, the battery, the motors, and the cabin heat, cabin climate control, all in one system. | ||
| And so it's very common that one system will need heat while the other needs to be cooled. | ||
| And one will need – so if the brakes are hot and they need to be cooled but the cabin is cold and needs to be hot, they use the brake heat to – they can send heat or cold anywhere in the car it needs to go. | ||
| No, stay up there. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| That looks okay. | ||
| It's not that bad. | ||
| Oh, it doesn't let you change it? | ||
| It changes. | ||
| Oh, there it goes. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's okay. | |
| I've seen worse. | ||
| Swap everything out with carbon fiber, but they put dope wheels on it. | ||
| But the interior is where the magic happens. | ||
| I would like to see the interior. | ||
| I don't really see a point to doing body kits on EVs. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Quilted leather, a little armrest, some carbon. | ||
| I think the idea is that... | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Go back up. | ||
| See the left. | ||
| There with the body. | ||
| The wheels are nice. | ||
| Yeah, they put larger wheels, wider tires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are those brakes? | |
| What does that say on it? | ||
| Does that say unplugged on the brakes? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I think that's their company. | ||
| Oh, it's called Unplugged Performance? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Apex. | ||
| Unplugged Apex S. I mean, it's not for me. | ||
| I think they put carbon fiber brakes on it. | ||
| Are those carbon ceramic brakes? | ||
| Yeah, I think carbon ceramic brakes. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| They probably charge a lot of money for that. | ||
| I'm sure it's not cheap. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe the interior, but I wouldn't. | ||
| Carbon ceramic brakes. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe they could do it. | ||
| 19-piece carbon fiber body. | ||
| So your Tesla, for instance, if you want max performance, like the hardest launch you can do, You've got to have like 80% battery or more, and it'll only let you do a couple of them in a row before it starts to get noticeably slower. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It'll let you launch, but you want that 2.5 or whatever it is. | ||
| It's only going to be your first couple launches where you get it. | ||
| The Taycan will give you full performance until the battery's dead. | ||
| So I get a full bore launch control start with like 40 miles of range on the battery. | ||
| Now, how many miles can it get from fully charged? | ||
| In theory, 300. In theory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| But that's you driving like an old lady. | ||
| So, I was able to drive around normally, and I found that the range estimate was pretty accurate. | ||
| I only got the car for one day. | ||
| So, it was pretty accurate. | ||
| And then I went to the canyons, and in that video, I burned off 40% of the battery just making that video. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It would be the same in a Tesla. | ||
| When you start driving real fast in EVs, bro, you're just smoking through battery. | ||
| Do you think that with the demand, technology will improve to the point where they can get real range out of these things? | ||
| The theoretical range of the Tesla Roadster was like 600 miles, but again, that's never been done. | ||
| I think... | ||
| So I'm not an expert on EVs, and there's like electrical engineers that will be screaming fucking at their iPods right now. | ||
| Well, it's normal on this podcast. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| I believe that the 300-mile range, that's a good amount of range. | ||
| The key that we will see that will really be a game-changer is battery charge times. | ||
| Can we get a charge in 5 minutes or 10 minutes and not 30 minutes or an hour? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the number of stations, the opportunity to charge. | ||
| And that's an issue with the Porsche over the Tesla, is they don't have the supercharging network, right? | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Although they are using the Electrify America network, which is actually, it's another one of the networks that's meant for normal EVs. | ||
| It's actually bigger. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But they don't have as many super high-speed chargers. | ||
| So the Tesla and all EVs on the market right now accept the Taycan. | ||
| All the rest are 400-volt systems. | ||
| And the Tesla's probably the best, most efficient use of 400-volt architecture. | ||
| 800-volt architecture, if Porsche is to be believed, is more efficient. | ||
| It's a lighter setup. | ||
| It flows in and out faster than the 400-volt system. | ||
| There's a couple other advantages to it, but it can charge really, really fast through the correct chargers. | ||
| There just aren't that many of the super-fast ones around. | ||
| There's only three in LA right now. | ||
| One is in Burbank, the Best Buy in Burbank is the closest one to here. | ||
| And I charged one from almost dead to almost full in about 18 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| At that one, yeah. | ||
| But there just aren't very many. | ||
| So you can go, stop, grab a cup of coffee, get a bite to eat real quick. | ||
| Go to Best Buy. | ||
| Yeah, stroll around. | ||
| You come out, you got 80% of your juice. | ||
| Yeah, it was pretty good. | ||
| It went fast enough that I could watch it go six. | ||
| Seven. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was pretty good. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| Yeah, if they get the number of stations right, I think the real problem with EV adoption, especially in places like LA, is the infrastructure, man. | ||
| I don't think this city generates enough electricity through its grid for all of us to be charging cars at home. | ||
| That's a good point, right? | ||
| Because if we got all the millions of cars that are now charging, it would radically change everything. | ||
| Unless everybody switches over to solar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Even solar I don't think is efficient enough. | ||
| That's the other problem is now it's a homeowner's thing. | ||
| So like EVs are awesome. | ||
| Like if you like how an EV drives and you like the experience of owning one and it works for your life, like a thousand percent get an EV. But Is a 90% EV adoption rate in LA something that's really realistic? | ||
| Like, not anytime soon. | ||
| I just don't think so. | ||
| I'm building a building right now, and so I know I'm learning about how much power the city will give me in my building. | ||
| And I don't have enough. | ||
| I'm building a brand new building. | ||
| And the city won't give me enough power to put more than two level two charges in my building. | ||
| I was like, yo, let me get a bank of five. | ||
| My building would be an EV charging spot. | ||
| And they're like, no can do, bro. | ||
| No power. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And can you enhance the amount of power that you have? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, solar will reduce your bill, but it doesn't give you more amps in the building. | ||
| Unless you're completely off-grid. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And then you'd have to have some sort of generator. | ||
| Now you're in the weeds. | ||
| Yeah, now you're doing the opposite. | ||
| You're burning fucking dinosaur fuel. | ||
| It's trying to keep your shit going. | ||
| And I don't, you know, with a new building, I'm no expert, but all the people who are experts are telling me that I should wait a year or two and see what my utilities are before I even attempt solar. | ||
| Because I might, you know, you put it in now, how do you know if you've saved any money? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I'm obligated by law to make my building solar ready, so I had to reinforce the roof. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, there's a bunch of shit when you're building a building that you gotta do to... | ||
| In 2019. Yeah. | ||
| My building is the only collector, sorry, Westside Collector Car Storage, my new business. | ||
| And it's open for reservations currently. | ||
| Yes, we'll be open in January. | ||
| We're a little bit behind, but construction's hard as it turns out. | ||
| It's the first time that we've ever put indoor quad stackers in Southern California. | ||
| We have four high vehicle stackers. | ||
| We have 18 of them. | ||
| What are you doing about earthquakes? | ||
| You got rubber everywhere? | ||
| 2019 code, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Dude, we have more concrete and rebar. | ||
| I mean, we're good for a 12-0 earthquake. | ||
| That's what we're rated at. | ||
| That's the 2020 standard. | ||
| I want a house like that. | ||
| Bro, I poured 110 cement trucks. | ||
| Wouldn't that be great if the world's on fire and just sitting there sipping tea? | ||
| Dude, well, speaking of that, so the dividing wall in between the car storage area and the members lounge, my office and my studio, is legally required to be a two-hour firewall. | ||
| So you can sit there and have a tea and watch a fire on the other side for two hours and then just walk out the front door. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a law for LA for 2019. Wow. | ||
| We had to have the fire code written for us. | ||
| It sucked. | ||
| That seems pretty cool, though, that they're doing that, that they're making these standards extremely high. | ||
| I believe that it's good to have high standards and that you end up with a higher quality product and you can then charge more for it, and that's sort of how it works. | ||
| That's a big leap for you to just jump in and build some crazy car storage building. | ||
| I've never done shit like that before. | ||
| Did you think about that? | ||
| The amount of money that must cost is fucking extraordinary. | ||
| I'll tell you off, Mike. | ||
| I can only guess. | ||
| You can probably guess. | ||
| But it's crazy and it's scary. | ||
| And it started small. | ||
| And then it was like, well, the model doesn't work small. | ||
| What about medium? | ||
| The model doesn't work medium either. | ||
| What about big? | ||
| Well, it only works big if you build the building. | ||
| The land is so expensive that you have to go vertical. | ||
| And you can't go vertical in an existing structure because it just doesn't meet earthquake codes. | ||
| So you have no choice but to build. | ||
| And then there's a law in LA that if you build for every thousand square feet of commercial real estate you have, you need to have two street accessible parking spaces. | ||
| So I had to dig a basement. | ||
| So I dug a 7,000 square foot basement. | ||
| So I have 30 underground parking spaces. | ||
| That counts. | ||
| So half the cost of the building was digging the basement. | ||
| Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| And where is this? | ||
| It's in Playa Vista. | ||
| It's across the street from Google and Yahoo and the Clippers building. | ||
| Oh, all those dirty rich people. | ||
| Dirty, dirty rich people. | ||
| Dirty! | ||
| Filthy rich. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Wow, that's cool. | ||
| You gotta come see it, man. | ||
| It's the coolest. | ||
| Where's Playa Vista? | ||
| What is that near? | ||
| It's right off the 405 in Jefferson. | ||
| On the way to the airport? | ||
| Between Marina Del Rey and LAX. Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Perfect for people who live out of town. | ||
| Hit me up, westsidecollectorcarstores.com. | ||
| That's the end of my plug. | ||
| I'm done plugging. | ||
| But I'm learning so much about concrete and steel and all this crazy shit. | ||
| Concrete's a weird, weird science, man. | ||
| Oh, I'd imagine. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| The pressure testing, and there's different mixtures, and they shake all the rebar to get it to settle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fucking nuts. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta wait for the perfect day to do your poem. | ||
| How long have you been building this? | ||
| Four years. | ||
| Four years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| When we first started talking about it, it was at least two years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow! | ||
| We broke ground two years ago. | ||
| I broke ground in August of 17. Dude, you must be shitting your pants with all that money. | ||
| I'm so exhausted. | ||
| I don't know how to handle that. | ||
| I'm so exhausted. | ||
| I have friends that have built houses before, and I'm like, fuck, man. | ||
| We remodeled our kitchen once, and for eight months we were cooking on a hot plate in the living room, and I was like, this is ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's like a project car. | ||
| We're at the point where the car looks done. | ||
| It basically looks done, except there's just so much left to do. | ||
| And dealing with the city is so, so hard. | ||
| This is why I'm a little less optimistic about others in terms of the adoption rates of EVs and stuff like that, and solar and stuff like that, because working with the city for this stuff is so hard, and it's taken me so long to do one stupid fucking building that, like... | ||
| We're looking at a whole city? | ||
| Like, I don't know how anything got built here. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Do you think about moving? | ||
| Man, sunshine's free and weed's legal. | ||
| It's so nice. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| I know that's corny as fuck, but... | ||
| Makes me want to spark up a joint. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| It goes a long way. | ||
| Yo, what about that Kevin Smith shit? | ||
| Kevin Smith was up in here talking about his snoochy-boochies. | ||
| It's just weed. | ||
| I know it is. | ||
| Kevin Smith's a great guy. | ||
| I know it is, but I had the thought when I was listening to your show, and it was like, you're telling me the fictional drug dealer from that movie I loved when I was 13 is now a real drug dealer, but legally and as that movie character. | ||
| That is some crazy ass shit. | ||
| Yeah, that's basically what's going on. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Mike Tyson weed. | ||
| This is Mike Tyson weed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Do I go get a face tattoo afterwards? | ||
| Is that what happens? | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| But if you smoke the whole thing, you probably want one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Does he sell this like this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just a full Godfather blunt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking hell. | |
| Like a giant, fat blunt that looks like a fucking star. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| That is awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right. | ||
| It's pretty fucking good. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| What do we need to talk about with cars? | ||
| Is there anything else happening in the industry that you want to know about? | ||
| Well, I mean, the Taycan, I don't think we've completely covered it. | ||
| My question with all these cars is what is next, right? | ||
| It's like we're seeing these incredible 0 to 60 under 3 second times. | ||
| We're going to eventually see the range increase. | ||
| But if you had asked me 10 years ago, Are we going to see a 2.4 0-60 sedan that feels like it's violating physics when you stomp on the gas? | ||
| I mean, that's what I drive. | ||
| It has a laptop for a screen. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| We've gotten to about, I don't know, right... | ||
| Maybe 10 years ago or so, the trajectory of increased performance got very steep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where, you know, the new version of every car has 100 more horsepower. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And now we've got these high-performance EVs, and with a high-performance EV, you know, you've built a dragster. | ||
| That's a fucking dragster. | ||
| I mean, the Taycan does a quarter mile in the low tens. | ||
| I mean, so you can, you know... | ||
| I don't want to be flippant Between Taycan and Tesla is the steering and handling, because Teslas have very video game-y steering. | ||
| It's accurate, and it's sharp, but it's not. | ||
| You don't feel it. | ||
| No. | ||
| Taycan has the steering system from the Porsche 992, and so it feels like a Porsche. | ||
| And so when I drove it, I texted you, I go, Joe, this is for you. | ||
| Well, Tesla figured out how to make it go fast, and they figured out how to make it handle pretty good. | ||
| How to make it clean. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| They figured out how to make an EV cool. | ||
| Because EVs, remember the RAV4 EV? Fucking Ed Bagley was driving in the 90s. | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| One of the things that makes Porsche Taycan different is they have a two-speed transmission. | ||
| Your Tesla is one gear. | ||
| So your Tesla from 0 to 120 is bananas, but it pretty much dies off because it runs out of gear. | ||
| Because most people don't realize... | ||
| really need to go faster than that. | ||
| But Porsche, with their Autobahn stuff, they need more at the top end. | ||
| So the Taycan actually switches into second gear and keeps pulling like crazy, you know, above 80 to 100 miles an hour. | ||
| And the biggest difference, though, dynamically is like, you know how in your Tesla you can drive with one foot, like one pedal? | ||
| When you lift off the pedal, it breaks the car. | ||
| And so you can pretty much drive around one foot. | ||
| Taycan doesn't do that. | ||
| So Porsche believes that the kinetic energy built up by motion is better used by allowing the car to just coast as far as possible than by hitting the regen and capturing it in the form of braking the way that Tesla does. | ||
| Now you can turn that function off in the Tesla. | ||
| Does that have an impact on, if it's doing that, does it have an impact on the way it feels? | ||
| Well, it feels... | ||
| I mean, yes, because you have to use the brakes more in everyday situations. | ||
| Does it slow down the car quicker to use the brakes more? | ||
| I mean, to have regenerative? | ||
| No, it doesn't necessarily slow the car down faster. | ||
| So it doesn't make a slower 60 to 0 time? | ||
| No. | ||
| In fact, I believe that Porsche is ultimately better at that. | ||
| The only real difference is that when you lift off the gas in a Tesla, it slows down as if someone is applying the brakes. | ||
| In the Porsche, you're just pure coast. | ||
| It's a pure coast, and it's even more of a coast feeling than a gasoline car. | ||
| It's like you're freed of all restraint. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Because after I'm fucking mobbed up the mountain making that video that I sent you... | ||
| I was like, oh shit, dude. | ||
| I've only got like 40 miles of range left. | ||
| I gotta get off this fucking hill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so I was at the high point in the hill and I go, let's coast. | ||
| And so I just coasted and I was like, let's see how far I can go without touching the brakes. | ||
| And I got this motherfucker coasting up to like 100 miles an hour, taking corners and not using the brakes because the handling and the grip were so good. | ||
| I coasted like 12 miles down the hill. | ||
| Dude, what about a deer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about a boing, boing, boing right in front of you? | |
| Alertness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| It's about that alertness. | ||
| Splatter! | ||
| Dude, I've seen some crazy shit while I'm filming, and I've never been able to not stop the car. | ||
| No, believe me. | ||
| I know you can drive. | ||
| I saw the guy pulling a log down the road, just free on a chain. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| There was a guy in a Ford Explorer driving in a windy canyon like this. | ||
| Did you make a video of this? | ||
| Yeah, I caught it on camera, and with a log the size of a car engine, just free on a chain. | ||
| Swinging. | ||
| Swinging. | ||
| Taking out signs. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Craziness. | |
| Sometimes. | ||
| I almost threw that video in the garbage, too. | ||
| It's amazing how little of that there really is. | ||
| Oh yeah, here it is. | ||
| Because people are so goddamn crazy. | ||
| I think it's right there. | ||
| Back it up. | ||
| 20 seconds, Jamie. | ||
| 20 more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So come around this corner and look. | ||
| Log. | ||
| You guys got a log. | ||
| Just free dragging that shit. | ||
| That is so crazy that he thinks that's okay. | ||
| And if you back the video up like 30 more seconds, Jamie, you can actually see... | ||
| Not from the very beginning, a little forward, you can see the trail that the log has made on the road. | ||
| It made like a line of kind of dirt on the road, and it goes back and forth across the road, and you go, well, what the hell was that? | ||
| Dude, that's so crazy. | ||
| You know what's really crazy about that? | ||
| That could start a fire. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Couldn't it? | ||
| Probably, but it could also swing into an oncoming car. | ||
| That's like a 500 pound log. | ||
| Yeah, it definitely could swing into an oncoming car. | ||
| That guy definitely doesn't have control of it. | ||
| It's definitely a terrible, terrible idea. | ||
| But I managed to stop a supercharged Lamborghini doing that. | ||
| By the way, that's not my YouTube video. | ||
| Someone has stolen my YouTube video. | ||
| These motherfuckers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Motherfuckers. | ||
| These motherfuckers. | ||
| Hit that fraud protection, Jamie. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's a crazy thing to see. | ||
| Yeah, there's knuckleheads out there, man. | ||
| There's a lot of them. | ||
| I go quick, but I go up there at times that I know almost, ALMOST for certain that the road is empty. | ||
| The roads that I use are not commuter roads, and I go there at times where it's highly unlikely to see people. | ||
| That's the same amount of time in the day where that guy drags logs. | ||
| That's the same spot. | ||
| Excellent point, sir. | ||
| Same spot on the dial. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Hey, when I drag my logs, no one's on that fucking mountain. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| What are you doing up there? | ||
| Speeding? | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's one point. | ||
| He gets his logs, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Point taken. | |
| It's too heavy to pick up. | ||
| I've seen other weird shit. | ||
| I've seen people doing push-ups in the street. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I've seen people on horseback in the street. | ||
| Dude, some guy just died who was a world-class climber. | ||
| Did you hear that? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| He fell a thousand feet, man. | ||
| Not Alex Honnold. | ||
| Did you interview him? | ||
| I've had him on twice. | ||
| He's fascinating. | ||
| That movie is crazy. | ||
| Dude, he's on another level. | ||
| He's like a zen master. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he has that smoke show of a girlfriend. | ||
| He pretty much tells, you just do your thing. | ||
| I'm going to be on this wall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he freaks me out. | |
| I mean, it freaks me out to the point where, like, talking about him, my hands start sweating. | ||
| I get super nervous. | ||
| Oh, I got real sweaty watching that movie. | ||
| Dude, I get freaked out thinking about him. | ||
| What he does is, like, off the charts nuts, man. | ||
| He's a thousand feet in the air, and he's just no hand, I mean, no ropes, holding on with one hand. | ||
| Straight t-shirt. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I can't even watch it. | ||
| That thumb thing in that movie? | ||
| What's the name of the fucking movie? | ||
| Free solo, thank you. | ||
| When he goes, you have to put your thumb, and it's like on this postage stamp site. | ||
| Yep, and that's how he's staying alive. | ||
| Fuck this! | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| I don't have that. | ||
| And you gotta stay calm. | ||
| I don't have that thing. | ||
| I got none of that, dude. | ||
| I can't do that shit. | ||
| No, I'm not interested. | ||
| I'm amazed that he can, and I'm fascinated to watch him. | ||
| It's like, I just don't want him to never get hurt. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| I mean, you feel like he just needs to be on that edge, right? | ||
| Some of those people just, they need that. | ||
| My hands are sweaty talking about this guy. | ||
| I know, me too, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| Or maybe that's Mike Tyson's weed. | ||
| It's Mike Tyson's weed. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| Yeah, you combine Mike Tyson's weed and that dude climbing. | ||
| Oh, look at that picture. | ||
| What about the guy taking that picture? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put that down. | |
| Does that guy get a credit? | ||
| Put that down, Jimmy. | ||
| I'm too high for that. | ||
| I'm too high to look at that. | ||
| Tell me how you like your Grand Seiko watches. | ||
| They're very nice. | ||
| The last time I came on the show, I talked to you about my Grand Seiko watch, and your show is so good for business that I got a handwritten letter from the CEO of Grand Seiko. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's very nice. | ||
| They make beautiful stuff. | ||
| They do. | ||
| I love mechanical shit. | ||
| I love things where someone's making it and there's gears and there's innovation. | ||
| I don't know what part of our monkey brain is so fascinated by innovation and craftsmanship and shit like that. | ||
| What's cool to me about watches is they're these crazy math machines. | ||
| I had a watch called an IWC Perpetual Calendar. | ||
| It was like a big fucking tank of a watch, and it would do time, the day, date, the month, the year, four digits, year, the moon phase, and it basically knew all the leap years. | ||
| It knew how many days, that's it, how many days there are in a month. | ||
| And if you kept this fucking thing wound, Either wearing it or on a winder, you didn't have to adjust it for 400 years. | ||
| Like, you don't have to adjust it until the year 2400. That's fucking crazy! | ||
| That's just springs and wheels, dude! | ||
| Isn't that nuts? | ||
| That really is nuts. | ||
| And when you put it that way, it's astonishing because it's an interesting combination of engineering and art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because it looks really pretty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it also, it's phenomenal engineering. | ||
| Like, who are the wizards behind that? | ||
| There's a new, there's a watch called a Vacheron Constantine that is, it looks like a clock. | ||
| It's like as big as this clock. | ||
| It has the most complications of any watch ever made. | ||
| It has 57 complications. | ||
| So one mainspring drives 57 different spring and gear sets That do 57 different things, and it will continue like that. | ||
| That's some funky, weird-ass art piece. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm too high for that. | |
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| That's some weird shit. | ||
| Dude, that's bonkers. | ||
| I know, but I know what you mean. | ||
| That someone's doing that. | ||
| That that's what they're doing. | ||
| And here's the really bonkers thing. | ||
| When you find out that they started making them in the 40s and... | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Oh, you mean a guy who's worked on one watch for like a decade? | ||
| No, but like, if you think about like automatic watches, like Rolex or something like that, when did they start making those? | ||
| Well, mechanical watches they've been making since like the 1700s. | ||
| If you want to talk about strictly like the automatic winding rotor... | ||
| Just, Jamie, it's Vacheron Constantine 57 complication. | ||
| When was the first automatic winding watch? | ||
| It was like in the early, like probably World War II time. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, the winding rotor. | ||
| Maybe a little early, maybe like the 20s it might have actually been. | ||
| Did you have to wind it? | ||
| So what you're looking at, that's one side. | ||
| There's shit on both sides of that thing. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| What is all that nonsense? | ||
| It's so much shit. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I honestly don't even know. | ||
| I can't read that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And there's a list. | ||
| There's a Wikipedia page for that watch that has the list of all the complications. | ||
| Shit, man. | ||
| But something like that, you're literally talking like it's probably six or seven million dollars to buy something like that. | ||
| Someone just paid $30 million for a watch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, I think it might have been the most expensive. | ||
| It was a paddock. | ||
| It's a weird thing, right? | ||
| Because it is the gentleman's jewelry. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| It's the gentleman's jewelry, where it's literally 90% for other guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's a specific... | ||
| Look at that movement, though. | ||
| Specific subset of other guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| We don't really get to wear diamonds and shit around. | ||
| But we gotta have a trophy. | ||
| So it's okay. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| You'll like this. | ||
| My friend Cameron Weiss made this. | ||
| This is a Weiss Watch Company watch. | ||
| Designed and manufactured exclusively in Los Angeles. | ||
| Every bit of that watch is made in Los Angeles. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He got me that for when I first met him, and he makes them by hand, every one of them. | ||
| That's very pretty. | ||
| Super Mirka. | ||
| I like that shit. | ||
| Mirka! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Can I tell you that I just saw there is a Fast and the Furious musical parody that these dudes came up with, and they're doing it in this little theater here, the Dynasty Typewriter Theater, and it is... | ||
| Like, the Team America of Fast and the Furious. | ||
| And it's the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen. | ||
| I went twice. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| What's it called? | ||
| It's just called the Fast and the Furious musical parody. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| They have, like, women play a bunch... | ||
| Like, Tyrese and... | ||
| Ludacris are played by women. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| It was written by these guys, Brad Silnutzer and Joey Orton. | ||
| They came to my podcast and this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. | ||
| And I don't know, you got on me on a Team America tangent. | ||
| Dude, I went there. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious, dude. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| Anyway, are you still alive? | ||
| Your second show of the day. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fine. | ||
| The solution is either less drugs or more drugs. | ||
| Well, marijuana takes everything to that weird hard left. | ||
| So it's like no matter what you were doing during your day before you smoked weed, now you're doing this. | ||
| Once you smoke weed, you're like, whoa, what are we doing? | ||
| Should we talk about some conspiracy theories or something? | ||
| Epstein didn't kill himself. | ||
| I don't think he did. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I think he might not have. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| What are the odds that he did? | ||
| If you had a bet... | ||
| If I was in Vegas... | ||
| If I wanted to give you odds, like, hey... | ||
| The odds he did... | ||
| Come on, Matt. | ||
| 100 bucks? | ||
| 10%. | ||
| 10% is where I've got it. | ||
| I don't want to say it's like zero, but I think it's like 10%. | ||
| I think it's low. | ||
| So would you plunk down 100 bucks on 10 to 1 odds that he did kill himself? | ||
| No. | ||
| The opposite. | ||
| I would do the opposite. | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| You'd want more than 10 to 1 that he did kill himself. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I think there's only a 10% chance he killed himself. | ||
| Right, okay. | ||
| I'm fucking with these numbers here. | ||
| I'm making it confusing. | ||
| I don't know how you're... | ||
| However you're converting it to odds, it's falling apart in my head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It doesn't seem likely. | ||
| I'm going to go with no way, though. | ||
| It doesn't seem likely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's just crazy that you could still do that. | ||
| Did you see the Ford electric car? | ||
| Epstein suicide guards say they're scapegoats for a broken system. | ||
| Well, that's a defense. | ||
| The defense is just we were incompetent, not we killed him. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Dude, who knows? | ||
| Can you imagine if there's some fucking weird shit going on in our country right now? | ||
| What's going on behind the scenes, man? | ||
| What's going on behind the scenes that somebody could sneak somebody in to kill somebody if that's what happened? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Oh, that's an inside person. | ||
| They don't want to sneak somebody in. | ||
| That person's already inside. | ||
| The cameras are off, bro! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| The cameras were off. | ||
| The cameras were off. | ||
| Whoops, sorry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The cameras? | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Bro, I have cameras at my house. | ||
| They're never fucking off. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| When the cameras are off, too, I've heard, repeated a few times, but not more recently, that there was screaming being heard from his cell. | ||
| That someone heard screaming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not being repeated now. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Bro, we live in a fucking crazy world. | ||
| Yeah, that's dark. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's probably the biggest public conspiracy theory that most people believe in. | ||
| Do you think most people believe it was a hit? | ||
| I would say most people. | ||
| I just read about one last night. | ||
| Is there a Pew poll on that one? | ||
| They tried to overthrow FDR in 1935, and this general was like the whistleblower for it, because the people that were supposedly trying to do it were trying to get him to be the face to talk people into doing it. | ||
| And so he went and talked to Congress about it. | ||
| His name's Smedley. | ||
| Smedley Butler, what a great name. | ||
| And they called him out and everyone said, oh no, that's just a lie. | ||
| It was a joke. | ||
| There might have been some stuff being talked about in this meeting, but we were never going to do anything. | ||
| And they said they had 500,000 soldiers that were going to march on D.C. to take over. | ||
| And they had some general they were going to put in place as a dictator. | ||
| There was a book written about it a couple years ago. | ||
| And this guy, Smedley Butler, wrote a book in 1935 called, like, War is a Racket. | ||
| War is a Racket, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| So he knew about all that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just read about this last night. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| What was the source? | ||
| The book that's called... | ||
| I'll pull it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's called... | |
| Like, The Time... | ||
| The Conspiracy to Overthrow the Government. | ||
| It's all about him. | ||
| It's a really long book that just came out about overthrowing FDR. Wow. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I guess none of this shit is new. | ||
| I feel like I haven't been... | ||
| I just turned 38 and I feel like I didn't really start paying attention to anything until I was in my mid-20s or whatever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Bush was a piece of shit, and then it kind of seemed on the surface like Obama was kind of normal, and now obviously we live in crazy town, but I think I feel like it's new, and it's not new, and this kind of shit has just happened over and over and over again. | ||
| Well, it's the remnants of an ancient society. | ||
| I mean, we're dealing with this ancient system that was created long before we had anything resembling our way of communicating that we have now. | ||
| It's all set up. | ||
| You know, when you have a government like ours... | ||
| It's set up in this way, it's like, is this the ideal way to do it, or is this just the way we've been doing it forever? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think our bureaucracy can move fast enough to keep up with the technology. | ||
| I think you're 100% right. | ||
| I don't think culture can keep... | ||
| I don't think culture can keep up. | ||
| I don't think I'm designed to handle the kind of communication that I feel like I have to handle. | ||
| In terms of like, I have an Instagram page with like 225,000 people and it's a lot less than you, but I think you do a better job of like detaching from it than I do. | ||
| Maybe you just keep yourself busier than I do. | ||
| Keeping busy is important. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But I just feel like I'm not designed to handle... | ||
| Interpersonal communication with that volume of people who just feel that they can say what the fuck ever. | ||
| And they're trying to push your buttons and fuck with you. | ||
| That's kind of frustrating. | ||
| We're all learning to communicate with each other like this. | ||
| And we're all learning to interact in real time with this new technology that no one saw coming. | ||
| This new ability to communicate that just didn't exist before. | ||
| It's weird for all of us. | ||
| It's weird for the dummies like me, and it's weird for the really smart people that create all this technology. | ||
| Because we're opening up this new realm of human communication. | ||
| I think by breaking it into tweets, it's got to be these short little thoughts and all that. | ||
| That's angry, man. | ||
| But just in terms of if you watch... | ||
| Like, look at our access to the news. | ||
| Like, our access to, like, these stories that are going on in Hong Kong. | ||
| You could, like, specifically focus on it and try to follow it. | ||
| And you could follow it pretty much all day long. | ||
| All these protests and stuff like that. | ||
| It's like, it doesn't matter. | ||
| If the networks are sanctioning it, people are paying attention to things like that. | ||
| When things like that happen, they become these worldwide things that everybody is following along with. | ||
| That was never the case before, man. | ||
| You had to wait for the news. | ||
| You had to wait for them to tell you what's going on in Germany. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's weird now. | ||
| So do you think that... | ||
| That we actually live in what is probably generally a much better place? | ||
| We just hear so much more bad shit that we think it's worse? | ||
| Well, I think we're just aware of way more information than we're supposed to be aware of. | ||
| Yeah, it's overloaded all the time. | ||
| And I think that's one of the reasons why so many people are anxious. | ||
| I think just our sheer numbers are wearing on, like, the way we feel. | ||
| I actually have developed, like, real anxiety just about fucking life, which I think it's directly related probably to, like, my internet consumption. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I think accused, like, social media of doing that. | ||
| Of accentuating your interests. | ||
| You know, this is the reason why so many people get in fights on Facebook. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because it amplifies the angry. | ||
| The more you get upset at things, the more you interact. | ||
| So because of that, they send you things that make you upset. | ||
| But isn't it that that's what you gravitate towards? | ||
| So Ari Shaffir actually did a test. | ||
| Yeah, he did with puppies or something, right? | ||
| And he just got all puppies. | ||
| He just started searching puppies. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| How long did it take for him to get all puppies? | ||
| It wasn't that long. | ||
| It was pretty quick. | ||
| So it's not that it's malicious on its own. | ||
| It's that we are cunts. | ||
| We're cunts. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's like a mushroom trip, right? | ||
| Where if you feel good, it spirals up. | ||
| And if you feel bad, it spirals down. | ||
| It's the same kind of thing. | ||
| But we can manage it. | ||
| I think we can manage it. | ||
| I think we just have to be nicer to each other. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think people can manage it. | ||
| It's so easy to be nice in person, but it's so hard to be nice to someone who opens with what a piece of shit you are. | ||
| It's a piss poor way of communicating. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| You can get great stuff from it, but it also opens up the door to great cuntiness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The greatest content is because it's like free shots of people. | |
| And it's just weird to do. | ||
| It's like weird to just someone you don't even know just insult. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But they can do that to you. | ||
| And they feel free to do that to you. | ||
| And they don't think of you as another person. | ||
| They think of you as some person who's in some public position. | ||
| So it's a free shot to just shit on you. | ||
| And they think you should have thicker skin. | ||
| They think this. | ||
| They don't realize that you get into a job like this because you're insecure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But it's also, listen... | ||
| Nobody saw this coming. | ||
| We should all be nice about this new level of communication that we all have. | ||
| You can see things on your phone that are coming to you from the air, and they're streaming in real time. | ||
| I can't imagine what it's like to be a child who can grow up with the amount of porn. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| I don't want to go into this kind of a tangent too far, but Jesus Christ, what is going on? | ||
| When I was a kid, you had to work for it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's always someone's stepdad who had a big collection. | ||
| I had to do floppies. | ||
| I mean, I was on the hard floppy disks. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, that was the 90s kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
90s. | |
| But it was still a challenge. | ||
| Now, way too easy. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's definitely a concern. | ||
| There's not just a concern that you have access to porn. | ||
| How about the fact that porn has completely shaped the way people do their pubic hair? | ||
| Porn won. | ||
| Do you think porn reflects society or society reflects porn? | ||
| I don't know, but if there was a culture contest to see how you trim your pubes, porn completely won out. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You can't be a girl and just be chaos anymore, right? | ||
| Can you do that? | ||
| Is that a move? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can. | |
| It's a specific fetish for that. | ||
| You have to use... | ||
| Oh, it's a specific... | ||
| Ari Shaffir is going to have to use different keywords to get to that. | ||
| No, they'll find Ari. | ||
| They'll find him. | ||
| What really weirds me out about porn is they've really transitioned to an all-step-siblings kind of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| When did that happen? | ||
| I don't know, but... | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| This is gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weird. | |
| It's like, when did everything get dirty? | ||
| Is this the result of divorce culture? | ||
| It's something. | ||
| It's something. | ||
| All the kids of divorces have grown up to watch stepbrother porn and whatever. | ||
| Stepbrother and stepsister is giant right now. | ||
| That's fucking gross. | ||
| It's like 90% of titles, dude. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| You're supposed to be my sister. | ||
| I can't believe this. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are we watching? | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, is there a more depressing job than writing that dialogue? | ||
| But why do people... | ||
| Here's a question. | ||
| Why do people want to be so naughty? | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| Because that's naughty. | ||
| Well, that's not new. | ||
| People wanting to be naughty, that's not new. | ||
| Not new. | ||
| No. | ||
| But why do they always want to push it? | ||
| People keep pushing it. | ||
| They want people gagging and choking. | ||
| That's that risk shit, dude. | ||
| The risk becomes the thing. | ||
| A friend of mine is in the music business and is a recovering super junkie and has a theory that a lot of the celebrities who have... | ||
| Died of autoerotic asphyxiation were former heroin users. | ||
| And once they get sober, the only way to get close is by jacking off with a fucking belt around your neck. | ||
| And that seems to be a common thread in that maybe those deaths weren't exactly suicides. | ||
| So there's maybe a conspiracy theory there. | ||
| Well, if you were going to kill somebody, that would be a good way to do it. | ||
| Well, I don't think they were murdered. | ||
| I think they were labeled as suicides. | ||
| They were talking about, like, Chris Cornell and Anthony Bourdain. | ||
| You know, it's a theory, I guess. | ||
| Well, I mean, I don't think that was the case of Bourdain. | ||
| The argument is that people who have had the high of heroin... | ||
| The only way they can get close to that without drugs is by doing that. | ||
| That's a crazy suggestion. | ||
| It is a crazy suggestion. | ||
| I don't think that's the case, but... | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think that's the case. | ||
| Maybe Epstein was trying to jerk off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jamie's like, oh, I'm letting it go. | ||
| I'm not even shoving it in. | ||
| Open up a hole in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how we got down the porn tangent. | ||
| It's probably my fault, but... | ||
| What else you got, buddy? | ||
| Ending your ride is a weird, weird idea, you know? | ||
| Deciding to end your ride. | ||
| Yeah, it's probably something where people feel like they don't have control over their life and they want to take it, maybe? | ||
| No, man. | ||
| I think some people just feel bad. | ||
| They're just sad all the time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And just wanted to stop? | ||
| It just makes sense that if some people are frail, in certain ways we just accept that. | ||
| But if they're frail in their happiness, we don't. | ||
| You know, like if someone's born with some sort of a disease, and this disease affects them, we feel bad for them. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| But if we're born... | ||
| Like if you're born sad? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does it make sense? | ||
| I mean, you could be born with like a shitty level of dopamine. | ||
| Like your brain's not producing enough serotonin. | ||
| Like something's... | ||
| The wiring is not totally on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've known my share of depressed and or bipolar and or borderline people. | ||
| It's scary and sad. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But we have a weird aversion. | ||
| It goes back to our like primate days. | ||
| You know, we want to like... | ||
| I want to get those people away from us. | ||
| I had a weird thing for a long time where I wanted to fix them. | ||
| I was a real fixer for a while, and it's not a healthy place to be in. | ||
| That's a bad spot, son. | ||
| Fix-em-up guy. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's a... | ||
| If you want to be fix-up guy, that comes from a whole list of your own fucking issues. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Yeah, don't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I got married to the most amazing woman ever. | ||
| I'm very lucky. | ||
| Hannah Rules. | ||
| I saw her in your social media. | ||
| It was my birthday the other day, like two nights ago. | ||
| She got me Benihana lessons. | ||
| At Benihana. | ||
| And then I went back later that day and I cooked at Benihana for like all my friends. | ||
| It was like life goals achieved. | ||
| So they let you cook there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They teach you how to cook and then they let you cook? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Onion volcano, the whole shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude, it's a great gift. | ||
| It's on my Instagram. | ||
| It's a great gift. | ||
| How long are the lessons? | ||
| Like an hour and a half. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| Oh, so you must be a cook already. | ||
| I'm already a cook. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And not only am I a cook, I'm a huge hibachi enthusiast. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And so, yeah. | ||
| Oh, so you knew what the fuck to do. | ||
| Fucking onion volcano, bro! | ||
| So you've made one of them onion volcanoes before? | ||
| I practiced at my house because I was so excited. | ||
| Oh, that is hilarious. | ||
| You are hilarious. | ||
| Look at this girl behind me because I popped a huge flame and she thought I was going to light my face on fire. | ||
| And she was right. | ||
| I almost did. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking onion volcanoes, dude. | ||
| That's a great boomerang right there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's one of the rare, truly great boomerangs. | ||
| I think one of the top comments on that post is, this is the only good boomerang in the history. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| The lighter fails, so I almost light my face on fire when I get it to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Yeah, no, look. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Oh, son. | ||
| You almost lost some eyelashes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| But, yo, it's a really good birthday present. | ||
| My wife rules. | ||
| She got me axe-throwing lessons one year. | ||
| She got me blacksmithing lessons one year. | ||
| She likes to get me fun lessons for things. | ||
| Who's the expert out there throwing axes? | ||
| Is there one dude? | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| What's the guy's name? | ||
| Michael Jordan of Axe? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| No, there is. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, they're going to kill me for... | ||
| He has a hilarious name in a DVD series and shit. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to say it's like Lester Diamond, but that's the guy from Casino. | ||
| It's something like that. | ||
| If you Google Knife Throwing Lessons LA, you might come up with it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Now they've opened Knife and Axe Throwing Bars now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This was two years ago, but now you can like go, like it's like a bowling alley, but you throw axes. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Ranked axe throwers in the world! | ||
| I don't want to be around a lot of dudes who want to throw axes. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You go to the axe throwing spot, that's like some Viking shit. | ||
| It's just darts, right? | ||
| With axes, yeah. | ||
| Yo, there's a hilarious video from yesterday of... | ||
| Pete Buttigieg on the campaign trail trying to do an axe throw, but like outdoor, and he straight overthrows the axe, misses the target entirely, and hits the dude's drum in the marching band. | ||
| Oh my god, he almost killed somebody. | ||
| Imagine if he brained somebody like a Stephen King book. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First presidential candidate to murder somebody with an axe on television. | |
| Can you imagine if he hit the dude in the head with an axe and the dude just stiffened? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If Trump did it, his supporters would probably like him more. | ||
| He could really test that shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue Theory. | ||
| The video of the axe missing and hitting the guy's drum is crazy fucking funny. | ||
| I've been on this audiobook Native American kick. | ||
| I listened to two different ones, and the one I'm listening to now is... | ||
| Like history? | ||
| Son of the Morning Star. | ||
| And my friend Steve Rinella recommended it to me. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Just like I get nervous when I watch Alex Connell. | ||
| Oh, man, look. | ||
| Wait, here's the guy from Fox News. | ||
| It's not Pete Buttigieg. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It hit the guy. | ||
| I apologize, Mayor Pete. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Fox News goes Pete Esketh. | ||
| I apologize, Pete Buttigieg. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| A Fox News house threw a fucking axe and hit somebody. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yo, go with the... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, he missed so bad. | |
| First of all, why the fuck is there a band playing behind the spot where the guy throws an axe? | ||
| Whose idea was that? | ||
| Oh, dude, it's so crazy. | ||
| Watch, watch, look, it hits. | ||
| Here's the other angle. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It goes in the drum. | ||
| Dude, it could've killed him. | ||
| It hit him. | ||
| It hit his arm. | ||
| Oh my god, it could've killed him. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| I'm sorry, Pete Buttigieg. | ||
| That was Pete Heskett. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| It's a different Pete. | ||
| But that's fucking horrible. | ||
| You knew it was some famous Pete. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I watched on my phone this morning and just saw Pete. | ||
| So it's a Fox News guy. | ||
| Imagine if it was just a news guy who killed somebody accidentally with an axe. | ||
| And not a presidential candidate. | ||
| Oh, just a news guy. | ||
| Poor guy. | ||
| He just sucks at throwing an axe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Who set this up? | ||
| Who put a band behind the fucking target? | ||
| How trusting are you? | ||
| How many practice shots do you think he took? | ||
|
unidentified
|
None. | |
| Zero. | ||
| That's probably the first time he took. | ||
| They're in New York, too. | ||
| Like, how many people get to throw an axe in downtown New York? | ||
| Fucking New York. | ||
| You kill a guy with an axe in New York. | ||
| You think the DP was like, uh, can you bring the band around? | ||
| They're not in the shot. | ||
| Let's get that band. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's fucking bad. | ||
| I'm sorry, Mayor Pete. | ||
| I thought it was you. | ||
| The reason why I brought this up is this book is horrific. | ||
| It's all these accounts of what happened between the settlers and the Native Americans. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It wasn't good. | ||
| I listened to that podcast, The Dollop, which is like a history podcast. | ||
| The people that came to this country were so horrible to the people that were here. | ||
| It's so depressing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| It was horrible with disease. | ||
| It was horrible with just the amount of people that just came across the land. | ||
| They killed all the buffalo. | ||
| They wiped literally every Native American tribe out of power and they put them on reservations. | ||
| And the reservation was Kansas, right? | ||
| It just kept getting smaller and smaller and smaller. | ||
| Dude, there's a lot to it. | ||
| There's a lot to it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| The stories of the different tribes are just amazing. | ||
| Just the differences between the ones who lived in the east versus the Comanches who were mostly just traveling and living in teepees and following the buffalo. | ||
| The ones in the eastern were like We're permanently settled in kind of one place, right? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them were into agriculture. | ||
| They were growing. | ||
| They didn't even really have use for horses. | ||
| They weren't into horses. | ||
| Didn't white people steal their farming techniques, too? | ||
| Probably, for sure. | ||
| White people stole everything. | ||
| I'm reading a book called, I think it's called History of the Greater United States. | ||
| I think that's... | ||
| Correct. | ||
| But it's about all of like the U.S. territories that are like outside of the continental United States and just like ways we fucked over native people and we, you know, they're part of America but they're not states so they don't have to, they don't get to vote, they don't get to do anything. | ||
| It's just like we've used these islands and countries and stuff strategically all over the world and it's a slog through it but it's kind of the kind of stuff you kind of got to read, right? | ||
| Well, you got to, you should probably know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| We're doing what? | ||
| I feel like I went to very good schools. | ||
| I went to a good college and a good high school, and I did not learn a lot of really important things. | ||
| I learned a very winner-take-all version of history that I'm not pleased about. | ||
| I missed out on everything. | ||
| I wasn't paying attention to shit until I was like 28. Yeah, but now you pay attention to everything. | ||
| Yeah, but before then, I mean all throughout high school, the time that I did spend going to college was only so that no one would think I was a loser. | ||
| Was it that binary? | ||
| If you're not in college, you're a loser, and if you're in college, you're not a loser? | ||
| It was a huge insecurity with me because I knew I didn't want to do it, and I knew whatever that led to. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| I don't have the discipline to sit in class and listen. | ||
| I was too spastic. | ||
| I wasn't interested in what they were teaching. | ||
| That's so crazy that you can't sit in class and listen, and yet you can do the double-header three-hour podcast. | ||
| That's not hard. | ||
| We're talking about cool shit. | ||
| You're a cool guy. | ||
| You're fun to talk to. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| It's the way the material is delivered, huh? | ||
| And the last one was, you know, what you'll see, but it's way more these two guys talking than me. | ||
| I mostly moderated and mostly wound up agreeing with the guy who made the Game Changers documentary. | ||
| Mostly with what he was saying in terms of science. | ||
| In terms of whether or not it's healthy to eat a 100% vegan diet. | ||
| According to everything he's showing me, it is. | ||
| It is? | ||
| Yeah, according to everything he was showing me. | ||
| And he had as much science as you could... | ||
| It's just a matter of doing it properly. | ||
| After listening to Kevin Smith on your show, I've considered trying to do a vegan month or a vegan week or something. | ||
| I haven't gone through with it yet, but I'm probably going to... | ||
| I think it's different for different people, too. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think some people have real issues with it. | ||
| Some people have gotten off the vegan diet, and they've quit. | ||
| I just feel like I should eat a little less meat. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's really, I think it's different for everybody, too, man. | ||
| I think some people can do it with no problems, and I think other people struggle more. | ||
| And I don't know why, I'm not a nutritionist, but I know that a lot of people that wind up trying it out eventually give up. | ||
| It's like 84% of people start. | ||
| I know a couple ex-vegans. | ||
| But I don't have a moral judgment for it or anything. | ||
| I just feel like maybe it's something worth trying because I eat a lot of meat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm trying to get... | ||
| I wrote a business plan for my new place, as you do when you have a new business. | ||
| And the first thing on the business plan is by my 40th birthday, I want to be the healthiest I've ever been. | ||
| Well, I don't think cutting meat out is the move. | ||
| See, this is what I think about all this. | ||
| I think you can definitely be healthy and be a vegan. | ||
| According to everything this guy was showing me, everything James Wilkes was showing me, I don't really want to be a vegan. | ||
| I like meat. | ||
| I have no moral qualms with it, and I like how it tastes. | ||
| I don't want to be vegan, but I thought maybe if I did it a little bit, I could at least try. | ||
| I don't think health-wise... | ||
| It makes a difference? | ||
| No, I think the real thing to do is omnivorous diets. | ||
| And I think this is one of the things that we proved today in this conversation between Chris Kresher and James Wilkes, is that the omnivorous diet is like a natural, healthy thing. | ||
| You can do a vegan diet, though. | ||
| You can do it right. | ||
| According to everything he was showing me today, and I believe this, too... | ||
| If you're just doing it correctly, if you monitor your nutrient levels, you take vitamin B12 supplement, which is something he advocates. | ||
| I was like, that makes sense to me. | ||
| But I don't believe that meat's bad for you. | ||
| I think that sedentary lifestyle, shitty foods, people have been eating meat since the beginning of time. | ||
| This is how we became people. | ||
| And literally one of the primary theories for why the human brain got so big so quick We started hunting. | ||
| We had more access to protein because we were cooking things with fire. | ||
| And we learned how to hunt better because our brains kept growing as we're just figuring out the throwing arm they think is a possible factor. | ||
| Like somehow or another, the ability to throw something at something and kill it made us much more productive as hunters. | ||
| We can kill from farther away. | ||
| That's key. | ||
| Bro, we're so weak. | ||
| Oh, compared to animals? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| An animal would fuck us up. | ||
| Any even small-ish animal would fuck us up so bad. | ||
| A deer will kick your fucking ass, man. | ||
| A deer just kicking at you? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| We need some help. | ||
| We need some weapons. | ||
| I wonder what we were like, though. | ||
| I mean, imagine going back and seeing what a person was like when we started becoming people. | ||
| How fucking freaky would that be? | ||
| I feel like we'd be scared of everything. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah. | ||
| Just real scared. | ||
| But like, what would it be like to just hang out in a tribe of Neanderthals and see what they were like, a different kind of person. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if it would be, I mean, like mentally freeing? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're singularly focused on food and shelter and not, you know, I don't know if you have the, you know, you don't have a lot of like the fucking worries that we have, but it could be awful simple. | ||
| But at the same time, the constant fear of starving and freezing to death, that would be shit. | ||
| All of it's bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Everything's bad. | ||
| Don't worry, we're gonna get there, dude. | ||
| We're gonna end up in Waterworld pretty fucking soon. | ||
| What future movie from the last 30 years do you think our current reality is the closest to? | ||
| The Matrix. | ||
| Really? | ||
| The Matrix? | ||
| Because you were living in a simulation, you think? | ||
| It's gotten so weird that it doesn't matter whether or not we're living in a simulation. | ||
| Because life itself and reality itself is almost all augmented with some new factors. | ||
| Like whatever the technology is that we're using to communicate with all these people. | ||
| The algorithms. | ||
| You can't stop checking your Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to check. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody say something cool. | ||
| What's new? | ||
| Who's got a fucking new video I can watch to distract me for 15 seconds? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Oh, Bert and Tom are in a dance-off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| And you're just constantly looking at the goddamn thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I am trying to... | ||
| I'm not doing well at it, but I gotta fucking get my phone out of my fucking hand. | ||
| You know what's a good guilt shamer is? | ||
| That little status thing that's like, oh, you've been on your phone for five hours and change. | ||
| You know what they're like? | ||
| Those are like the cigarette warnings. | ||
| To tell you you're gonna get cancer, you're like, somebody else's gonna get cancer. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| I'm not addicted to my phone. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I feel like I am. | ||
| And I justify it to myself sometimes by saying, well, I have a virtual job and I have to be doing this for work. | ||
| But I think that's not true a lot of the time. | ||
| I think it's not true a lot of the time. | ||
| I think it's good to definitely give yourself some distance and some time away from it. | ||
| But I also think it's fascinating because we don't know where this is going. | ||
| We don't know what this is going to be like. | ||
| It's dangerous that these companies have so much control over the information that you see and that your news feed and someone's news feed on the other side of the country or whatever could be just so much different. | ||
| You're literally looking at different facts. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| This is very crazy. | ||
| I don't even know how you reconcile that unless people voluntarily take responsibility? | ||
| Is it possible to... | ||
| Decide that Facebook and Twitter and whatever are like public utilities? | ||
| Well, that's what people have proposed, that we treat it like anything that, you know, that everybody kind of should have access to, and we protect it under the First Amendment. | ||
| That's the idea, I think. | ||
| What's the net neutrality status right now? | ||
| I know it was like getting fought back and forth. | ||
| Did it end up anywhere? | ||
| Do you remember when they used to have a terrorist color? | ||
| Yeah, orange. | ||
| Yeah, like code orange. | ||
| We'd be all walking around like, what? | ||
| Are we in code orange or yellow? | ||
| Did it get to yellow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody had a bit about that. | ||
| Was it you? | ||
| I'm sure I did. | ||
| I remember someone's bit about the code. | ||
| I don't think I ever put it on anything. | ||
| I think I just had it when we had one. | ||
| I think there was a few comics that had a bit on that, too. | ||
| That might have been part of the issue. | ||
| It was one of those things where everybody was recognizing how ridiculous it was. | ||
| We had codes. | ||
| We have the fire code now here. | ||
| How the fuck can you give me a code of terrorist attack or no terrorist attack? | ||
| What are you supposed to do about it, actually? | ||
| You're getting me closer to a possible terrorist attack? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And you don't even have to tell me what's going on. | ||
| That's where it gets crazy. | ||
| When it goes from orange to red, what do I do exactly? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't even have to tell you what's going on. | |
| You can come to Westside Collector Car Storage. | ||
| It's like a bunker. | ||
| Oh, it's like a bunker. | ||
| Designed to survive a 12. Yeah, that's a good place. | ||
| It's a good place to hide out in case it all goes down. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I can see us bolting that store down and fucking fighting off zombies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you ever watch those zombie shows? | ||
| I am familiar. | ||
| I had to stop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fuck you up. | ||
| This is just violent porn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| And then you start shopping for zombie apocalypse vehicles. | ||
| Is that how you ended up with that Land Cruiser out there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Zombie apocalypse vehicles. | ||
| You start thinking, how would I fuck this zombie up? | ||
| What would I do if I was Rick? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I live down by the beach, and so for me, I legit am like, what am I going to do when the tsunami comes? | ||
| Oh, that's a thought. | ||
| I'm just waiting for the tsunami. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, get out of there. | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| Don't you know better? | ||
| Get the fuck off the water, man. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You're a nice guy. | ||
| I don't want to lose you. | ||
| I'm actually waiting for waves to just come straight through me. | ||
| Beachfront Pasadena, son. | ||
| Get that high rise. | ||
| Buy some land up yonder. | ||
| Oh, your shit's not front row. | ||
| Just wait. | ||
| Just wait. | ||
| What the fuck happens then if your address doesn't exist anymore? | ||
| Right. | ||
| We all know that they find these ancient civilizations underneath the ocean. | ||
| I mean, they don't find that They've never found Atlantis, but they've found some pretty cool shit out of the ocean. | ||
| Do you ever see those things they found, I think, in the Bahamas? | ||
| It's like these stones that look like a passageway, like cut stones. | ||
| Cut into the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| These gigantic stones. | ||
| It looks like some sort of an underground passageway or an underwater passageway. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| I think at one point there were probably entrances made of wood or something that have rotted away. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Underground stones, yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did they identify that those... | ||
| Did they think those were man-made? | ||
| Did they think that they're man-made? | ||
| Or are there scientists that think that that's a natural thing? | ||
| There's a portion of that that is absolutely man-made, I think. | ||
| It's called Bimini Road, right? | ||
| Bimini Road. | ||
| So is that for sure man-made? | ||
| I could swear portions of it are. | ||
| That's cool as fuck though. | ||
| This, I don't know, this is reminding me of something I just heard recently that I did never, it's never come up on here from what I remember, that there's like a Stonehenge type structure on the bottom of Lake Michigan that people found recently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Joe's conspiracy radar just went off the fucking charts. | ||
| These are the kind of ones I like, too. | ||
| I don't like conspiracies about Epstein. | ||
| The Lake Michigan Stone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that! | |
| These people are still alive. | ||
| That's pretty. | ||
| There's a lot of weird pictures I've seen of this trying to look up. | ||
| They think that there's a mastodon carved. | ||
| I don't think that's the actual one. | ||
| I think someone added to this. | ||
| That looks like it was done in spray paint in 2018. It doesn't look like a fucking cave drug. | ||
| Oh, it's that? | ||
| But I just stumbled across this online while we were on break last week, and I was like, what? | ||
| I've never heard of this. | ||
| I need to start using some of your guys' keywords to start searching for shit. | ||
| I feel like my keywords are narrow when I'm doing my internet fucking time-wasting, and I'm not getting the kind of results you guys are getting. | ||
| This book that I've been listening to is so intense, man. | ||
| The Indian one? | ||
| All it makes me think about is how all this shit must have been when it went down. | ||
| Just the bloodiness of it? | ||
| Oh my god, terrific on both sides. | ||
| Horrific, just terrifying stories of massacres. | ||
| Who recorded the stories? | ||
| People that survived, people that wrote letters to their loved ones, they pieced things together. | ||
| Find out what happened. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| They get their best story, the best story they can get about Custer's last stand and what he was like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Dude! | ||
| That's 150, 160 years ago! | ||
| That's nothing, man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That just happened! | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's real recent. | ||
| Those fucking people were just like us, but we have iPhones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Those crazy people. | ||
| I think I might have told you this last time I was here. | ||
| I don't remember that I met Dick Van Dyke. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Which was surreal and weird. | ||
| I think he's 92. Wow. | ||
| But the most surreal and weird thing he told me was that his grandmother shook Abraham Lincoln's hand. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The grandmother of somebody alive right now. | ||
| I did tell you that, I think. | ||
| That's fucking amazing. | ||
| That's fucking amazing, dude. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| And I think there's a president, like the 8th or 10th president or something right now that has a living grandchild. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, like had kids at 75, had kids at 75. It's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's not that long ago. | ||
| That's people just like us with none of the information that we have. | ||
| It's so recent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, there it goes. | ||
| Lion Gardner, Tyler Sr., two of his own children are still alive. | ||
| So President Tyler has living grandchildren. | ||
| John Tyler, 175 years ago. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I had a bit on my special my last special where I was talking about that the United States is founded in 1776 and people live to be a hundred yeah three people yeah yeah like we don't want to think of that yeah but that's really what it is yeah fuck all this generations talk that's confusing yeah how many people ago like birth to death It's not a lot. | ||
| They are the same as us. | ||
| 300 years. | ||
| No tech. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're going to gauge it like a car, what's your zero to 60? | ||
| It's a hundred years. | ||
| From a hundred years ago? | ||
| Three people ago. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's like a full Elon Musk tank, right? | ||
| Because if you burn it out, you're not going to live to be a hundred. | ||
| But some people do get to be a hundred. | ||
| So you've got a hundred miles on that fucking charge. | ||
| There's cars around now that were built a hundred years ago. | ||
| And they work. | ||
| You can drive them. | ||
| A friend of mine has many. | ||
| They're kind of fun, actually. | ||
| Dude, that's a weird concept, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Going from the horse to where we're at now in a hundred years is bananas. | ||
| In no time. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Which is why, like, you know, I believe, like, that... | ||
| Like, electric cars are awesome, and they're cool, and I think that in places like really dense urban areas where you have a significant number of them, you get cleaner air and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| But... | ||
| I just don't know if that's necessarily what our future requires because I think that like the big industries have sort of done this. | ||
| Well, if everybody does our little part and we all buy an electric car and recycle, we can solve this when it's really sort of like maybe a few less cargo ships. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Would be a big difference. | ||
| Maybe, like, guaranteeing stuff gets from China to you in 12 hours is not really what we need at the expense of our environment. | ||
| I don't think you need to, like, you know, have everybody needs to go buy an electric car. | ||
| I don't think that's really necessary. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of shit that needs to be done, right? | ||
| Like, whatever the fuck is going on in the ocean... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We gotta get people to feel about the whole ocean the way we feel about turtles and straws. | ||
| If we could just get that sentiment and apply it to all. | ||
| Apply it to our neighbors. | ||
| Apply it to everyone you meet. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I think Americans have a really tough time taking care of communal shit. | ||
| Yeah, but I can't find a fucking plastic straw anymore. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's amazing how quickly that happened. | ||
| We saw that turtle, the dude with the pliers, he's pulling it out of the turtle's nose, and eventually he comes out with all this blood and everything like that. | ||
| You need an ugly photograph of a cute animal to really make things happen. | ||
| But I literally walked to the gym this morning, and from my house to the gym, I walk across the Venice canals, and I saw two bird scooters just in the canals. | ||
| Just... | ||
| So it's like, you know, people just can't take care of their shit. | ||
| That's why you can't have, like, shared stuff. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, the idea of these, like, shared kind of, like, pods, I don't really think is going to happen. | ||
| I think people... | ||
| Shared pods? | ||
| Like, you know, a lot of the people that are... | ||
| We're low on resources. | ||
| Like Minority Report, you know, where you commute to work in a pod. | ||
| Oh, you don't think that's going to happen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| Flying through the air and shit. | ||
| The Taycan makes the Jetsons noise. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| When you drive it, it makes the brrrr. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it does make Jetsons noise. | ||
| Does it do it for you? | ||
| Like it's a joke? | ||
| Or does it make real noise? | ||
| No, it does it out of the speakers as a way, as a fun thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, so it's brrrr. | |
| I feel like you can let it slide. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because it's not pretending to be an engine. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not. | |
| It makes an appropriate noise for the thing that it's doing. | ||
| It's kind of offensive if it made an engine noise. | ||
| You'd be like, hey, hey, stop. | ||
| Although, I think, did Elon ever come out with, did Tesla come out with a thing that would fake engine soundtracks while you're driving? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Maybe it does. | ||
| Somebody came up with something that you can put in your car and it will play different engine soundtracks, I think, while you're driving. | ||
| Dude, Tiffany Haddish made her fucking car dance. | ||
| In what way? | ||
| The Tesla has a feature. | ||
| Oh, where it opens the doors and shit and does lights and stuff. | ||
| She's got the one with the gull wings. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| She plays music in the back of the comic store and hits the dance thing and steps out and she's dancing in front of her car. | ||
| We're all dancing. | ||
| We're dancing in front of Tiffany Haddish's car. | ||
| He's dancing for us. | ||
| That's the difference between Porsche and Tesla. | ||
| It's like a meme machine. | ||
| It's like a phone that you're driving. | ||
| It's fun and it's silly. | ||
| Especially the Model X is a very optimistic representation of the future. | ||
| Pedestrian noisemakers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's a different thing, I think. | ||
| The Taycan doesn't really make any noise on the outside. | ||
| It makes the noises on the inside. | ||
| If we're going to have noise that it makes on the outside, we better regulate that immediately. | ||
| Because some dudes are just going to have screams. | ||
| If you can just decide what noise your silent thing makes, how the fuck should you say that it has to sound like a Corvette? | ||
| I had a Chevy Volt that had two horns. | ||
| It had the, on the steering wheel, the er, er, angry horn. | ||
| And then at the end of the blinker stalk, it had this really polite, like, trill for, like, pedestrian, for that. | ||
| It would go brr, like a cat purring almost. | ||
| It was very polite. | ||
| It's just weird that we let people drive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird that we trust each other. | ||
| When you're on the highway and everybody's keeping it together, it's weird that we just all know to keep it together. | ||
| There's a really interesting fallacy that gets passed around a lot, which is that humans are bad drivers, and that's combined with another fallacy that driving is easy. | ||
| Both of those are untrue. | ||
| Humans are actually very good drivers, and driving is very hard. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the problem is that humans are so easily distracted. | ||
| And we now have this device that is designed to distract us that's with us all the time. | ||
| Dude, how often do you look up when you're driving and you see someone on their phone? | ||
| Oh, on my scooter. | ||
| When I'm riding my motorcycle around town, that's all I do is I'm looking in mirrors and seeing who's not paying attention. | ||
| Ed Norton still rides a motorcycle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I was listening to him talk about that. | ||
| He's talking about looking down and watching people. | ||
| How crazy is that guy? | ||
| The key to riding a motorcycle in LA is to understand that it is your job to be more prepared than everyone in a car. | ||
| I think mostly he rides in New York City, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a little more... | ||
| He wasn't as kind to riding in LA as I am. | ||
| I think riding in LA is not that scary. | ||
| And I think that because you can lane split here, it makes a big difference. | ||
| It's way safer to lane split. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah, way safer. | ||
| Because most car-on-motorcycle collisions are actually rear-endings at lights. | ||
| People can't tell the difference between the bike and the car, and they crunch them. | ||
| And so if you're lane-splitting, you move to the front of the line in traffic, and so you don't get those rear-endings. | ||
| The problem with lane-splitting is that sometimes people look like they're going to go and change lanes, and they look behind them. | ||
| And then when they look, the motorcycle's going so fast, they're already there. | ||
| Well, you shouldn't be going that fast on the bike. | ||
| You shouldn't be going that fast. | ||
| I've seen some guys that are doing some crazy shit on bikes and splitting lanes. | ||
| It's like, come on, boys. | ||
| The law says 15, differential. | ||
| 15 between cars. | ||
| Between your speed on the bike and cars. | ||
| Oh, well, that's not real. | ||
| I mean, that's just what the law says. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you can't even catch them. | ||
| I saw some dudes the other day on the 405 that made me so nervous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy sport bike people. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy sport bike people will be crazy sport bike people. | ||
| But that thing, if you can manage that thing... | ||
| One of those fucking things. | ||
| Your reality is so different than anybody else's. | ||
| Have you ridden bikes ever? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, very little. | ||
| Very, very, very little. | ||
| I took some lessons. | ||
| But two people I know crashed and got hurt pretty bad. | ||
| And one of them was a dude who was fighting for the UFC. His name was Frank Mir. | ||
| He was a UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| Dude who's got one of the best guards in the history of the sport. | ||
| Arguably one of the best submission fighters of all time in the heavyweight division. | ||
| You know, world champion. | ||
| Still fighting or after the accident now? | ||
| He is, but he got hit by a car and got launched into the air, man. | ||
| And he almost lost his leg. | ||
| It was a serious break, man. | ||
| Well, if his leg got crunched in between car and motorcycle engine, yeah, that's really bad. | ||
| Dude, he's a gorilla. | ||
| He's a giant dude. | ||
| No, it's gnarly, man. | ||
| Motorcycling is risky. | ||
| For me, it's a pretty calculated risk. | ||
| I'm riding a little scooter. | ||
| When you ride a scooter versus a motorcycle, you don't get that leg crunch thing, actually. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| You've got to have eyes up. | ||
| You've got to be ready. | ||
| You can't have a beer and ride home. | ||
| You can feel it. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, you shouldn't, but even if you, you know, legally, you still shouldn't do it. | ||
| And also, like, I love, love that I can't pick up the fucking phone. | ||
| On that bike that half hour on my little scooter getting my way through traffic to wherever I'm going That's a nice break from the fucking phone and being able to just be in motion in LA and You know and you're you're just going to even if you're going slow 10 miles an hour Everyone around you stopped and you're moving. | ||
| That's the fucking luxury man. | ||
| That's what I'm about. | ||
| I'm about being moving when other people are stopped That's for me. | ||
| That's what's up might be time to move It might be time to have to hire a crew. | ||
| Take care of your machine with all the giant building with all the cars in it and just get out of here before it blows up. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's a hard dichotomy. | ||
| LA, if you want to do the job I have, LA is kind of where you need to be. | ||
| It's the spot, right? | ||
| Bro, I can get a press car. | ||
| I can get an 800 horsepower supercar press car in January if I wanted. | ||
| You can't do that back in New York. | ||
| Who drives more cars than you? | ||
| I've reviewed over a thousand cars. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| Well, that's why you developed all these oddball tastes. | ||
| That's why you have that wacky Porsche interior. | ||
| I mean, that's where all that comes from. | ||
| I have the weirdest cars, dude. | ||
| I only have strange stuff. | ||
| The Fox body Mustang. | ||
| I sold that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did? | |
| I did. | ||
| I got a lot of money for it. | ||
| I gave half the money to charity. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| We paid an animal shelter's rent for a year. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Shout out to Peter Zippy Fund if you want a kitten in the South Bay. | ||
| Me and my wife just got a 1991 Mitsubishi Delica, which is a Japanese import van. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And it's a turbo diesel. | ||
| It's a 4x4. | ||
| And it's a six passenger. | ||
| It has like swiveling captain's chairs. | ||
| And it's just the coolest thing ever. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Whoa, look at that. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| And it's like a space van. | ||
| Dude, back in the day, that was the shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's got 40,000 kilometers on it. | ||
| It's like 22,000 miles. | ||
| And I'm using it as the airport shuttle for my shop. | ||
| That's what we thought of as a car from the future in the 80s. | ||
| Yes, space van. | ||
| Like, if you were living in the 80s... | ||
| I want to know what the fuck happened to custom vans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, now custom vans are a new thing. | |
| So now custom vans have gone two directions. | ||
| On the one direction, you've got the private jet vans, right? | ||
| The Lexani, like you see fucking Tyrese rolling around in, right? | ||
| Where they make it kind of look like a private jet interior with the Sprinters. | ||
| And then you've got your Overland vans, like your sportsmobiles and your camping-type rigs, your off-roading rigs. | ||
| So they split. | ||
| They don't do the cool shag carpet, let's fuck anymore kind of vans. | ||
| What happened with that? | ||
| There's a magazine called Rolling Heavy Magazine that is an enthusiast magazine for that kind of van. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Vans are still, they're cool with a certain subculture. | ||
| Those Volkswagen Syncros, the 4x4 Volkswagen vans from the 80s, are worth a ton of money. | ||
| Are they really? | ||
| Like 50 grand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, they're worth a lot of money. | ||
| Dude, it's hilarious when they take those bugs, those... | ||
| What is the station wagon, the VW bus? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And they put Porsche engines in them. | ||
| Oh, you ever seen them guys racing? | ||
| Juice them up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They take the old vans from the 60s and 70s, the classic Volkswagen microbus, and then they basically graft on a Porsche floor plan. | ||
| To it with a Porsche engine, which will fit Porsche suspension, and they go fast as fuck, dude. | ||
| They race some things in Germany. | ||
| Can you pull up anything? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| I want to see one of those things. | ||
| At Hockenheim. | ||
| Look, this dude's just straightened. | ||
| Look, this guy's following a Ferrari down the front straight. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| This guy's mobbing, and he chopped the roof, right? | ||
| He's lowered it. | ||
| If you can get some in-car video of one of these guys driving, it's like bananas. | ||
| What a crazy little vehicle. | ||
| Yeah, there's other ones that are even nuttier. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Close-ups. | ||
| They're just crazy. | ||
| Some of these Volkswagen guys, oh wow, he's really using the whole course there. | ||
| Good for him! | ||
| So that's a 530 horsepower Porsche 993 race taxi. | ||
| Oh, how cool! | ||
| He's got Gabriel Iglesias? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is Fluffy a fucking van enthusiast? | |
| Jesus Christ, Fluffy. | ||
| Bro! | ||
| What are you doing, Fluffy? | ||
| Whoa, Fluffy's garage is fucking sick, dude. | ||
| The Fluffy Museum? | ||
| This is real? | ||
| The Fluffy Museum? | ||
| In Long Beach? | ||
| This is here? | ||
| How have we never heard of this? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| This is a real thing? | ||
| This is a real thing. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He must have really loved these things growing up. | ||
| That's hysterical. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| How many does he have? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Well, that orange and red is fantastic. | ||
| Those are beautiful. | ||
| That's really nice. | ||
| I had no idea Fluffy was a VW bus enthusiast. | ||
| Oh, we've got to get him in one of these fast ones. | ||
| How strange is that? | ||
| People that are into those are really, really into those. | ||
| Seinfeld's got a few of them, too. | ||
| Look how many he has! | ||
| $3 million bus collection. | ||
| That is bananas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, they sell those. | ||
| If you want, like, the 21 window, they call it, or the 23 window, that's where it's got the extra windows on the roof. | ||
| The total number of windows normally is, like, 17 or whatever, but the 21 windows and the 23 windows are, like, $100,000 to $150,000. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Just because they're rare and nostalgic. | ||
| Dude, look how beautiful he has these things restored. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever drive one? | ||
| Oh, my God, no. | ||
| The worst. | ||
| They drive like shit. | ||
| They drive like fucking garbage. | ||
| So do you think he has everything stock, or do you think he has them juiced up? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, an enthusiast, I didn't realize he was so serious about those, but I'm sure he's got a nice variety of them. | ||
| He's got Jay driving stuff. | ||
| Jay knows his shit, man. | ||
| I had a real fun day hanging out with Jay doing his show. | ||
| He knows his shit. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Yeah, I did his show with my 1965 Corvette. | ||
| How is that thing working? | ||
| I saw it outside. | ||
| It's great, man. | ||
| I like the wheels you've got on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you driving the most these days? | ||
| Just the Tesla? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Tesla does kind of eliminate a lot of other driving, doesn't it? | ||
| A lot of the nonsense. | ||
| Like, why am I fucking around here? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Because it's just, it's so easy. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| It chills you out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I mean, there's something exciting about the roar of an engine, right? | ||
| There's something about engines. | ||
| There's something really like something about it. | ||
| But there's also something about this sort of zen travel thing that goes on when your car doesn't make any noise. | ||
| There's a zen thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I think it calms you down a little bit. | ||
| It does. | ||
| You're a little more relaxed when you get to where you're going. | ||
| And they're quiet inside. | ||
| And also, part of that is, well, a lot of that is just, you don't really realize how harsh the vibration of an engine is until it's gone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and even a very smooth engine with a very smooth gearbox sends a lot of vibrations and jerkiness through the car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit going on. | |
| And when it's gone... | ||
| Especially with the Tesla where you're driving with one foot, driving with one pedal. | ||
| So now it's like you go from, wow, I need to use three pedals and two feet and an arm to a finger and one foot. | ||
| You're physically doing a lot less. | ||
| But you used to say that you liked your Porsche to go to the comedy store because it juiced you up. | ||
| You still feel like that? | ||
| Yeah, I like something loud. | ||
| Something that's just stupid. | ||
| You've got to get in the zone. | ||
| Yeah, but it just gives you a little bit of a kickstart. | ||
| You don't even have to drive fast. | ||
| It's not about that. | ||
| It's about what it can do. | ||
| It's like you're taking it out for this light. | ||
| It just moves better. | ||
| It moves around corners better. | ||
| It grips the road better. | ||
| It feels more mechanical. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My 911's kind of like that, but it's actually got the elements of like a Baja truck also. | ||
| So you could just fucking smash speed bumps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| And like, you know those weird transitions into driveways here that everybody hates in sports cars? | ||
| You got to take them at an angle and all that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| Straight in, on the power, just kind of bounce it a little bit. | ||
| You could drive off of curbs and shit. | ||
| It is so fun. | ||
| It's all those things you love about your car. | ||
| But also the things you want in like a trophy truck. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It rules. | |
| Wow. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| You should be a salesman. | ||
| I am. | ||
| No, I don't get kickbacks, but everybody should buy an off-road Porsche. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of all the recommendations, there's a lot of people out there who suggest you stay in school and get your shit together. | ||
| Jordan Peterson says to clean your room. | ||
| Dude, you don't want to come for me for good consumer advice. | ||
| Get a Safari Porsche. | ||
| I'll tell you to buy some stupid shit. | ||
| I only have stupid cars. | ||
| I love the fact that you dumped so much money into that Mustang. | ||
| No disrespect to anybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's okay. | |
| It's true. | ||
| What I feel is the second ugliest version. | ||
| It was kind of unique at the time. | ||
| It wasn't ugly at the time. | ||
| You and Rutledge spent mad time talking shit about my Mustang. | ||
| It's just an odd choice. | ||
| Because you're a connoisseur of automobiles, right? | ||
| In my mind, I'm like, why wouldn't he get a 68 Mustang? | ||
| I don't have a connection to those cars. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I was born in 81. So to me, the Mustangs of my youth... | ||
| That was my car. | ||
| Larry Chen shot that photo. | ||
| That does look pretty dope. | ||
| Oh, the car was beautiful, man. | ||
| That was a beautiful car. | ||
| And I did dump a lot of money into it, but I got on the cover of CarCraft magazine. | ||
| I had a feature in Speedhunters, and I got all my money back out of it even after I gave half the money to charity. | ||
| So I got out of it pretty good. | ||
| It's fantastic. | ||
| And you deserved every penny of it. | ||
| It drove really nice, too. | ||
| Look at the suspension, like the way it sits, rather. | ||
| The fat, wide tires. | ||
| Got the right stance. | ||
| Those are awesome wheels, too. | ||
| What are those wheels? | ||
| The wheels are HRE RS 105s, which is a really popular wheel for the Ford GT they use. | ||
| So that's probably the cheapest car they've ever been on. | ||
| Is there a side picture of that? | ||
| The wheels retail for like 12k. | ||
| They're really expensive. | ||
| Oh, that's so pretty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure if Joe Rogan won a deal, we could probably get something worked out with HRE, but... | ||
| That's so pretty. | ||
| That car was so cool, but you know, after it was done, like that picture you just saw is it done, basically. | ||
| And once it was done, I was like, oh, fuck, man. | ||
| You know, this thing handles so good and it looks so cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could really use like 300 more horsepower. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like 300 horsepower, 350 horsepower, and it really needed to be like 600. And so I was at the point where I either was going to spend two more years and $20,000 more, and maybe I'd be happy with what I got at the end, or it was just time to move on. | ||
| And at about the same time, I drove... | ||
| Lee Keen is the name of the dude who built my Porsche, and he builds and sells those. | ||
| Mine is number 14 of the cars he builds. | ||
| I drove his for a video, and I just was so in love with it, and I just said, oh, this is exactly the thing that I need in my life right now. | ||
| And so when I sold the Mustang, I gave the money to Lee Keen and got a lifted 911. I love the fact that you took that as your daily driver. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I love. | ||
| In combination with the scooter and the test cars I have. | ||
| But that's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Your number one squeeze is this Safari 911 from 1987. I didn't spend all that money to look at it, you know? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, right? | ||
| If I spent all that money, it has no collector value, right? | ||
| It's just the value is what I get out of driving it. | ||
| Isn't it shocking when you open one of those old Porsches, the heft to it, the surprising heft? | ||
| The solidness of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Those galvanized Porsche bodies from the 60s to the mid-90s are some of the finest built vehicles in terms of quality and engineering. | ||
| Now, they're expensive to maintain. | ||
| They can be annoying. | ||
| But as far as pure quality of engineering, there's nothing better. | ||
| It's probably the finest car in the world from a quality perspective through most of its life. | ||
| The 964 is a really unusual one for me because that year was like they still kept the frog eyes, but the suspension became more lively, a little bit more controllable, but yet it still maintained a lot of the old feel. | ||
| At the time, those cars, if you go back to 92, when those cars came out, or 91, and you read contemporary reviews of the car, they were calling it old, slow, and heavy. | ||
| They said it was a solid-feeling car, but the Corvette ZR1 was way faster and lighter, you know what I mean? | ||
| And the Ferrari, let's see, well, the 348 was a piece of shit, but... | ||
| What the fuck else? | ||
| 92. Some of the Japanese stuff. | ||
| The Supra. | ||
| The 300ZX Twin Turbo. | ||
| These were modern cars with turbochargers and all this new cool shit. | ||
| And here was this sort of... | ||
| Well, this 911 is really still sort of the same since the 60s, you know? | ||
| And so that kind of dragged on. | ||
| But... | ||
| To revisit those cars now, the fact that they were unchanged from the 60s to the mid-90s is a positive. | ||
| It's an endearing quality. | ||
| They developed that body and chassis so thoroughly over those 30 years that... | ||
| It's such a finely engineered thing that you can take it and build something like a Singer out of it. | ||
| A Singer 911 is as fast around Laguna Seca as a Ferrari 458 with no traction control and manually shifting. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, they've done wonders with those chassis, and they've really lightened them with carbon bodies, and so it is possible to take that chassis further. | ||
| It just would have cost Porsche. | ||
| Porsche lost so much money in the 90s, dude. | ||
| Porsche was really hanging on by a thread, and they were losing money like crazy until Volkswagen and Audi Group came in, and that's where you ended up with the water-cooled cars, the Boxster, and then the Cayenne. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But in the 90s, when they were doing the 993s, they were losing a crazy amount of money on those cars. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a weird car, right? | ||
| It's like they stuck with that crazy design for so long. | ||
| Yeah, it feels old. | ||
| It feels like 25 years older than it really is, and yet it is so finely made. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so interesting. | ||
| Right, so a strange combination, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| As opposed to something like... | ||
| That's a crazy one. | ||
| That's a 993 GT Carrera RS. That's delightful. | ||
| Yeah, that's very nice. | ||
| That's a beautiful car. | ||
| So, you know, if you look at the passenger compartment, the roofline, the windshield, the side windows of those cars, you know, that's basically unchanged from the 70s to the late 90s. | ||
| It's such a pretty shape. | ||
| It's just like some shape that people just gravitate towards. | ||
| And it's a shoe. | ||
| Particularly the really old ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's something about an old one when you see them in person. | ||
| Like if you see a really nicely done like 71 long nose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's something about them. | ||
| They're so light. | ||
| You know, they're kind of airy about them. | ||
| I just, I think, you know, of all the classic cars, they are the most usable, you know, to just run around the city and drive. | ||
| You know, you can drive a car from the 70s. | ||
| You know, Magnus fucking drives that car. | ||
| You know, he drives cars from the 70s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, no problem. | |
| You could do that. | ||
| Dude, Magnus had this car that he sold to some rock and roll star in England. | ||
| He had this silver with blue stripes, and it was like a 69 or something like that. | ||
| I think I remember that car, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, that car was a magic thing. | ||
| He's got cool taste. | ||
| There's a video of him driving it, going around this corner. | ||
| He had that video that they made about him. | ||
| It's like a little short documentary. | ||
| The Urban Outlaw documentary. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And he comes around in this old school silver portion. | ||
| You look and he's like... | ||
| That's a whole different thing he's doing than everybody else. | ||
| And he's not even driving fast. | ||
| You don't even have to drive fast in that thing. | ||
| What does it weigh? | ||
| I mean, 2,500 pounds. | ||
| It's so light. | ||
| And it doesn't have a lot of power either. | ||
| Well, one of the things I love about my car is with the lift on it and the tires, you've got less grip than a normal 911. So if nobody's around, I can slide entrance ramps. | ||
| I can be a silly bastard in that car. | ||
| And it's just extra fun. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh yeah, that is the silver car with the blue. | ||
| Yeah, that's an excellent car. | ||
| Even when you hear the engine, it doesn't sound like anything else. | ||
| It's a weird little mechanical creature. | ||
| Because of a small displacement, that's probably a 2 or a 2-0 or a 2-2. | ||
| It's not like this big bore 3-8 like you've got, or I've got a 3-2, which is a bit more of a bassy kind of tone. | ||
| The older engines have a higher pitch. | ||
| Those ones are so small. | ||
| The 60s ones are little. | ||
| God damn, it's so weird. | ||
| But they're still pretty big inside. | ||
| It's the same size inside as your car. | ||
| You could get in it and drive in it. | ||
| Even those 356s, the really old Porsches in the 50s, those are actually kind of roomy. | ||
| When you put that engine in the back, yeah, your feet can go pretty far forward. | ||
| Germans are pretty big people, too. | ||
| Yeah, one of the things with Porsche specifically is about tall people fitting. | ||
| Yeah, they got barbarian DNA, man. | ||
| And the CEO of Porsche for a very long time was 6'4", and so he demanded... | ||
| That's why Panamera looks like it does, so that a 6'4 person can fit in the back. | ||
| It's exactly that reason. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| What'd they do with the backseat of the 911? | ||
| Those are ridiculous. | ||
| Well, those are for kids. | ||
| Little kids, too. | ||
| I think that's an insurance thing. | ||
| I think by being a four-seater... | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just don't have rear seats, though. | ||
| I mean, you could have a friend get in the back of your 911 for a couple of blocks. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| But it's more like you throw your duffel bag back there or whatever. | ||
| It's just too tight. | ||
| It's too tight. | ||
| But the ones you buy don't have rear seats, so what do you care? | ||
| You buy the RSs. | ||
| They don't have the rear seats. | ||
| If I drive one of those cars, especially the older ones, like the 964, I like the most stripped down ones. | ||
| That's what I like the most. | ||
| Yeah, it makes sense. | ||
| I don't want a radio. | ||
| I like a radio. | ||
| I don't want air conditioning. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I use my car every day, and so I have a radio and air conditioning, but yeah, I know what you mean. | ||
| But a car like that is like a little ride. | ||
| It's like you're taking a ride more than it is like you're driving. | ||
| No, driving is the thing. | ||
| That's what you're doing. | ||
| You're driving. | ||
| My Lamborghini I treat like that. | ||
| I don't take that to do bullshit when I go out and drive that car. | ||
| That is my activity. | ||
| Yeah, so a guy like Magnus, he's experiencing what a normal person experiences when they're enjoying the pleasure of driving, but he's getting way more analog, way more super light car. | ||
| It's all ancient fucking technology. | ||
| Light cars are real easy to drive, though. | ||
| When you've got a little engine, you can give a light clutch, you can have a light shifter. | ||
| You don't need, you know, the more power you've got, the heavier duty everything needs to be. | ||
| And so when you dial that stuff back and the car's 2,000 pounds and the engine's only 200 horsepower, you can just fingertip the whole thing. | ||
| It's very easy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My friend Todd said this to me. | ||
| It was a very wise thing. | ||
| He said it doesn't matter how fast you're going. | ||
| It doesn't matter how fast it feels. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| He was talking about old 911s. | ||
| A thousand percent. | ||
| A thousand percent. | ||
| It's a wise perspective because you go, oh yeah, if you're just enjoying the car, you're supposed to get maximum enjoyment. | ||
| It doesn't have to be attached to a number. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Like, if you didn't know how fast you were going, you weren't looking at your car other than for the purposes of safety. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You weren't, like, it wasn't a dick contest. | ||
| There'd be a certain level you wouldn't want to drive at. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Even knowing the speeds, like, for me personally, like... | ||
| My cars have fairly low power. | ||
| They're not crazy huge power cars. | ||
| And I think beyond a certain point, I just can't use it anymore. | ||
| And so I think there's an argument for having something like a Tesla for every day and then having an engaging machine for the weekends. | ||
| One of my favorite videos that you ever did was that... | ||
| Was it BBI that did a... | ||
| Oh, Joey Seely's car? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know that car's for sale? | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You want it? | ||
| No. | ||
| That car's for sale. | ||
| That's a lovely car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a beautiful car. | |
| It is for sale. | ||
| It was called Project Nasty, and I think he got it down to maybe 2,200 pounds. | ||
| It's the lightest 964 I ever drove. | ||
| But it was so light it had no headliner. | ||
| Yeah, no nothing. | ||
| All metal inside of it and everything. | ||
| I remember watching it going, look at that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But what you said was really interesting was that this is the kind of car you build when you make cars for other people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And you want to build something for yourself. | ||
| You build something like this. | ||
| The most focused kind of thing. | ||
| Because that company's known for these really high-end custom builds of Porsches, and they make crazy fast things. | ||
| Dude, you can buy... | ||
| I mean, you can write a check right now. | ||
| You can just write a check, walk away, come back in two months, and have like a 1,500 horsepower 911. That's bananas. | ||
| Because these guys race runways out here now. | ||
| That's like the thing now, is runway racing. | ||
| So they go out and they go side-by-side half-mile, and they're doing like 220, 230 in the half-mile. | ||
| You ever see that video, I'm sure you have, of the guy in the GTR in the Nürburgring and he just catches air? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Dude, that's fucking terrifying. | ||
| You should go drive a Nürburgring. | ||
| If you haven't, you really should. | ||
| I just told you, a guy fly. | ||
| Yeah, but you wouldn't fly. | ||
| A guy would fly through the air. | ||
| You wouldn't fly. | ||
| You would drive the Nürburgring in a more normal car that doesn't fly. | ||
| Yeah, I would drive something. | ||
| And by the way, after that, they re-sculpted that section of track. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They, for a period of time, they imposed a speed limit, even during races, through that section, to prevent that from happening again. | ||
| They changed, I believe, the rules of the racing series to slow the cars down. | ||
| And then I believe they re-sculpted the track. | ||
| There as well, after that incident. | ||
| So it couldn't catch air like that? | ||
| Or at least to make it substantially less likely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cars catching air is a... | ||
| In your next internet dive, Google race cars catching air. | ||
| No! | ||
| No! | ||
| I'm going to attempt to look for that, but there's just tons of videos. | ||
| Yeah, you can't Google Nurburgring crash and not end up with... | ||
| People are going so fast, and people lose it all the time. | ||
| Dude, it's such a fun, scary, crazy place. | ||
| Every... | ||
| Every reputation, every bit of reputation it's earned, it deserves. | ||
| But doing it is one of the more unique experiences of your life. | ||
| And you don't have to, like you said, you don't have to go for time. | ||
| You can just go and drive it as a fast, fun road, which is what I've done. | ||
| As Americans, we should be ashamed that the Germans have the Nürburgring. | ||
| I mean, come on, people. | ||
| Hitler built it if we want to be. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| I mean, he didn't physically lay the asphalt, but it was a Hitler... | ||
| It was a Fourth Reich superiority thing right alongside the Autobahn. | ||
| Best racetracks, best race cars, best highways was part of their deal. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, that makes sense. | ||
| There was so much engineering that came out of that group of fucking psychos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| Oh, speaking of which, I read a book you'd love called Blitzed, Drugs of the Third Reich. | ||
| It was basically just about how much meth they were all on. | ||
| And it is nuts! | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, they've been on speed forever. | ||
| As soon as they figured out speed, people were on speed. | ||
| And they're giving it to the pilots and the soldiers, and Hitler had a speed... | ||
| He was doing speedballs like fucking John Belushi. | ||
| I mean, it was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they always theorized that they had given the Japanese amphetamines to get them to crash into the planes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Crash their planes into the boats, rather. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The kamikazes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a thought. | ||
| Totally believable. | ||
| Meth them up and fucking send them to war. | ||
| There's a story in this book about at the very end of the war where they invented these single-person submarines. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The floating coffin. | ||
| And they sent these people out with like 10 tablets of meth and nothing else. | ||
| And this little submarine that had a little gun and like none of them came back. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| Not that I have sympathy for Nazis, but messed up soldiers in death submarines, maybe a little bit. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| That little thing? | ||
| I don't think it worked. | ||
| I think they tried a bunch of times. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's the fucking sketchiest shit ever. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It doesn't get much sketchier than that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| The one with the little bubble on top. | ||
| The German one-man thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The little bubble on top. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The picture I saw had the bubble. | ||
| Somewhere in Colombia, there's a dude with a thousand pounds of coke in one of those right now. | ||
| He just got a great idea. | ||
| Making his way... | ||
| They had that video where they had the Coast Guard knocked on the submarine. | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| They had a cartel sub. | ||
| You ever saw that? | ||
| They just knocked and said, open up? | ||
| Was it the Coast Guard that got the guys? | ||
| Yeah, they opened the door. | ||
| They were literally knocking on the top. | ||
| Did they open it up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They jumped on top of a goddamn submarine and made the guys open the sub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so crazy. | |
| Bro, it is bonkers. | ||
| It's right out of a goddamn Steven Seagal movie. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's fucking so nuts. | ||
| They jump on top of the roof of this fucking submarine. | ||
| Holy shit, look at this! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, so they're chasing him. | ||
| They're screaming. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yo, this is the craziest shit ever, dude. | ||
| Dude, how crazy is this? | ||
| This thing's like, what, 25-foot-long sub? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So these guys are following behind it, and he jumps off! | ||
| Look at this bad motherfucker! | ||
| He jumps off! | ||
| Do you think this sub is capable of full submerging, or this is the closest to sub that it gets? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not, it's probably full. | |
| It probably can't go down like 100 feet, but maybe like 10. Holy fucking shit! | ||
| This dude straight up knocked on the door, and they opened it. | ||
| That's so crazy! | ||
| I need your search terms. | ||
| You are finding way better things than me on the internet, bro. | ||
| Who is taking subs and filling them up with coke and making their way to another country? | ||
| How many dudes are doing that? | ||
| They had that whole big ship in Philadelphia, that cargo ship that was supposedly owned by Chase, but had $200 or $400 million worth of cocaine on it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| There was one. | ||
| You know what the Paris to Dakar rally is? | ||
| It's a car race. | ||
| Cars like my Safari are built for that. | ||
| And there's race cars and there's race motorcycles and quads and stuff, off-road vehicles that do this very long off-road race. | ||
| And then there's these support trucks, right? | ||
| And they race the trucks, too. | ||
| So it's like these Kamaz and man trucks, big off-road tires, huge engines. | ||
| And the trucks are in the race. | ||
| And so these coke smugglers, the trucks, in the back of the truck is enough parts to like rebuild the whole car. | ||
| And the truck has a racing driver and a five mechanics crew and they chase the car and if the car breaks they fucking pull it over and set up a shop and rebuild the car, right? | ||
| But they're in the race too. | ||
| And so these coke smugglers bought one of these Dakar race trucks, did it up like the livery, and just like a couple miles after the start, just like entered the race. | ||
| And they entered the race with this truck fucking full of blow. | ||
| Oh my god, it's a movie. | ||
| And they got stopped like, I don't know, somewhere in the race. | ||
| They got arrested with this race truck full of coke. | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| It's El Chapo's Sub. | ||
| That's El Chapo's? | ||
| 13,000 pounds of cocaine. | ||
| 13,000 pounds, I'm sorry. | ||
| That's like seven and a half tons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That is crazy. | ||
| 237 bales. | ||
| 237 bales of coke! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 13,000 pounds. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| This one was in Europe. | ||
| It had a hundred million pounds worth on it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| These guys are just building this shit in there. | ||
| Tons and tons of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Reminds me of that movie with Ray Liotta. | ||
| No Escape. | ||
| They built the sub. | ||
| Ray Liotta and Kevin Dillon and that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah, what was that movie? | ||
| No, I think it was No Escape when they're on the prison island and they build a sub to get out of there. | ||
| Can they still make movies like that? | ||
| I've seen some good movies. | ||
| You see Ford vs. | ||
| Ferrari? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ford vs. | |
| Ferrari's good. | ||
| I bet it's good. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's mostly factual. | ||
| It's not entirely perfect, but it's more accurate than Bohemian Rhapsody. | ||
| Do you remember Le Mans with Steve McQueen? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Remember when he was driving in the beginning in that old-ass Porsche? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That was exactly what we were talking about. | ||
| The guy was a race car driver. | ||
| The car he drives around is that old 911. That car sold for a lot of money. | ||
| The car from the movie. | ||
| It did. | ||
| Do you like Le Mans, the movie? | ||
| I don't remember it enough. | ||
| There's no speaking for the first 9 or 10 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| But I think it's beautiful. | ||
| Because it really puts you in the mood of what it's like to be these people without saying too much. | ||
| They would do that in movies back then, man. | ||
| Yeah, the really slow-pacing, kind of quiet, sort of pensive thing. | ||
| You know what you should go and watch? | ||
| If you haven't seen it before, watch it again. | ||
| The Hustler. | ||
| Never seen it. | ||
| Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman. | ||
| No, I've never seen it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| For what reason? | ||
| First of all, it's the 1960s, like early 1960s. | ||
| And you're seeing this part of America, because this is filmed representing the time in which it took place. | ||
| It's not like they were doing a period movie. | ||
| So this is like 1960s, like early 1960s cars and the way they talk and the way they drink. | ||
| And it's about this guy who's a professional pool hustler who's been traveling from California to New York City to meet this guy named Minnesota Fats and play him. | ||
| Because this guy's the best pool player in the world. | ||
| And so they play all through the night. | ||
| It's based on a... | ||
| Was it Robert Rosen? | ||
| It said Robert... | ||
| Yeah, you said Robert Rosen. | ||
| It's based on a very... | ||
| Did you say Paul Newman is in this? | ||
| Yes, that's Paul Newman, bro. | ||
| Oh, fuck it is. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| And Paul Newman plays Fast Eddie Felsen. | ||
| He plays the baddest motherfucker in pool. | ||
| He wants to come and play Minnesota Fats. | ||
| And Minnesota Fats is Jackie motherfucking Gleason. | ||
| And he's amazing in this movie. | ||
| He's so amazing, he's got two flowers on his jacket. | ||
| Bro, the other one's a tie or a hanky, rather. | ||
| I didn't realize that Paul Newman had multiple pool movies. | ||
| Well, this was the original. | ||
| And so what the Color of Money with Tom Cruise was, was Fast Eddie, who was again, Paul Newman, getting back into the world of pool. | ||
| Because at the end of this movie, spoiler alert, it's from the 1960s. | ||
| He retires. | ||
| At the end of this movie, he retires. | ||
| So he comes back with Tom Cruise. | ||
| But it's the same character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Same guy. | |
| Fast Eddie Felson. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen Color of Money. | ||
| But, you know, you're picking him up again now when he's 60. That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, this young kid is talking shit, and he doesn't understand, because he's a really hot pool player today, but he doesn't understand that this guy in front of him is a legend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, I remember the name of his cue was the Balabushka? | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Balabushka was the type of cue that he had, and because of this movie, This movie in particular, because they didn't mention it in the first movie, but it was pretty clear they were playing with a balabushka. | ||
| This movie, that fucking cue is worth a shitload of money now. | ||
| There's a lot of great pool cue manufacturers from that era. | ||
| I know you like crafts. | ||
|
unidentified
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I do. | |
| Totally. | ||
| In the world of pool, it's all about cues. | ||
| It's all about the type of hit you want, the type of wood that's used. | ||
| And balabushkas have a very specific kind of hit. | ||
| It's a very... | ||
| It's like there's an old-school feel to it that a lot of the players that have been playing most of their life love. | ||
| Company's still around? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| If you're buying one now, it's going to be a shitload of money, man. | ||
| At this point, it's an art piece. | ||
| Would you play with it if you had one? | ||
| Some people do. | ||
| Some people do. | ||
| It's like a badge of honor. | ||
| You show up at a pool hall with a bow. | ||
| But it's not necessarily the best playing key. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's like shotguns. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You get the art pieces and the vintagey stuff. | ||
| There's one right there for $22,000. | ||
| 22 G's! | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Move in on that. | ||
| Let me see what that looks like. | ||
| Yeah, that looks like a published gun. | ||
| Oh, it's got the string on it. | ||
| So it has the original Cortland wrap and all those inlays. | ||
| That's Mother of Pearl. | ||
| That was all done by hand. | ||
| Probably ivory down at the bottom, right? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| I think that's a type of... | ||
| That might be ivory, actually. | ||
| If it's old enough, that's probably ivory. | ||
| It might be ivory. | ||
| It might be ivory. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| 22 Gs. | ||
| A lot of times they would use a plastic down there because you wanted something to be durable. | ||
| Yeah, you'd bounce it on the ground or whatever. | ||
| And they all used ivory that came from the pre-ban days because back then when they were making these things, people could go over there and shoot elephants just for their tusks. | ||
| Does that say ebony points? | ||
| What's it saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Ebony Sleeve. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Gold bands. | ||
| Racetrack mop. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Nameplate? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Racetrack mop nameplate that's blank between... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You lost me, but that's pretty cool. | ||
| It's a blank between the mop dots and the diamonds. | ||
| Original Cortland map mostly falling off. | ||
| Two original... | ||
| George Balabushka Shaft's unusual feature. | ||
| It's a person's name. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, they've had a bunch of those like that where people would buy them, they would order them, and he would engrave their name in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It sounds like a very shotgun-like thing. | ||
| Shotguns are similar like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Old ones with a lot of character. | ||
| The wood. | ||
| You go over there and you choose your wood, and it's the scroll work, and the barrel work, and all that crazy shit. | ||
| A good friend of mine makes pool cues. | ||
| They're called Sugar Tree. | ||
| His name's Eric Crisp. | ||
| He makes them all by hand. | ||
| I'll show it to you afterwards. | ||
| I'm sure you've got a dozen of them out here, right? | ||
| The way he makes things is super specific. | ||
| He's an art connoisseur if wood was an art. | ||
| So when he looks at a piece of wood, he doesn't think... | ||
| It's like a combination of knowing it'll make a good pool cue, but also wanting it to look a specific way. | ||
| They have all these gnarly knots in them, weird kind of colors of the woods, and just finds interesting grain. | ||
| It's like a... | ||
| It's just like guns, dude. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| What does it say here? | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Balabushka pool cues were reintroduced in the 1980s with the permission... | ||
| Yeah, but that's not real. | ||
| Yeah, once the movie came out, someone asked if they could license it. | ||
| Yeah, what happened was there was a company. | ||
| It's a decent cue, but it's not like a real Balabushka. | ||
| It's like a Shelby Cobra. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You can buy a replica Cobra, but the real one is the real one. | ||
| You might even like the way that one plays better. | ||
| I mean, there's people that like the way all kinds of different things play. | ||
| It might play better, but it's not. | ||
| You call it a Balabushka. | ||
| Balabushka's got to make it. | ||
| He's got to make it. | ||
| He's not alive. | ||
| Same thing, Cobras. | ||
| A brand new replica Shelby Cobra will probably drive a lot better than the ones they were racing at Le Mans in the 60s, but one is 50 grand and one is a million because one is real. | ||
| And to be honest, that wouldn't mean I wouldn't buy one of those newer Balabushkas either if I wanted a cue to play with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They all play good. | ||
| As long as you know what you're getting, it's fine. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The thing with cues is like with a lot of things, it's like if you see a pool cue, it doesn't even necessarily have to be anything fancy. | ||
| It's just you see if it's got nice wood and nice balance to it. | ||
| Can I look at this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you look at it. | ||
| Somebody's made that by hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Some guy crafted that on a lathe and figured it out. | ||
| With watches, too. | ||
| The difference between a $500 watch and a $5,000 watch and a $50,000 watch and a $500,000 watch is just further and further into the details. | ||
| That one watch that was good for 400 years, that's bananas. | ||
| And there's other ones like that. | ||
| I have a hard time with that. | ||
| I'm having a hard time with that. | ||
| Crazy math machines. | ||
| I love the crazy math machines. | ||
| There's watches that play chimes. | ||
| There's watches where you hit a button and a thing dances, like a cuckoo clock. | ||
| There's all kinds of crazy shit people do. | ||
| There's a genre of porno watches. | ||
| Have you seen the porno watches? | ||
| Where it's literally you hit a button and... | ||
| People start banging. | ||
| In front of you? | ||
| Like on the watch dial. | ||
| Like a hologram? | ||
| No, no, like a mechanical, animatronic couple starts fucking on the dial. | ||
| It's kind of hilarious. | ||
| But it's an entire genre of watches and they're very, very expensive. | ||
| Very hard to Google that. | ||
| What's that one I saw? | ||
| This one guy had one that was like a dome, and inside it was a planet. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's called a Jacob Astronomia. | ||
| Anybody who wears that, you've got to be some kind of... | ||
| There are a million dollars. | ||
| You've got to be some kind of pimp to have a planetarium on your forearm. | ||
| So do you remember Jacob the jeweler? | ||
| That's him. | ||
| This is us. | ||
| This is the universe. | ||
| You can't wear one of those and have people look at you without... | ||
| You're being... | ||
| A little crazy. | ||
| So the astronomy... | ||
| It's like a fishbowl you put on your fucking wrist. | ||
| It's the weirdest thing ever. | ||
| And it's designed to... | ||
| So that's the mechanism that rotates around the fishbowl. | ||
| And it's got something called... | ||
| The thing that's flipping about is called a tourbillon. | ||
| And that is the time-regulating mechanism. | ||
| And the mainspring, which keeps it wound. | ||
| And then, as you can see, the actual clock itself rotates and stays vertical. | ||
| And then you've got this earth thing, and then you've got this big diamond that spin around, and it's a huge thing you wear on your wrist. | ||
| It's probably 48 or 49 millimeters, and it's like putting a fishbowl on your wrist, because it's got a big glass case over it. | ||
| That is so crazy to look at. | ||
| Yeah, that's what one looks like in person. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| That's a million. | ||
| It's a million dollars. | ||
| Oh, so this one he's showing is the roulette wheel one. | ||
| No, it's got a roulette wheel in it that actually works. | ||
| You wind it up and it sends a ball and you actually can play roulette on the watch. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| It's called the Astronomia Casino. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bat shit, right? | ||
| Imagine you lose your house. | ||
| Look, this one's an animated one. | ||
| It's an oil derrick that pumps. | ||
| So when they spin it, I'm sure he'll show it. | ||
| But look, yeah, the oil derrick. | ||
| So did somebody design this because they owned an oil company? | ||
| I'm certain that that is what happened. | ||
| They had it made? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my God, that's amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much do you think it costs to make that? | ||
| It's probably a million dollars. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| It's gross, too. | ||
| I wouldn't even want to touch it. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| You don't want to wear something like that. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Why are you getting it? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I don't know why I wouldn't get it, but like, if you... | ||
| I don't know why you'd get it. | ||
| You'd have to really appreciate the art of it. | ||
| Look at what the fuck is going on there. | ||
| Oh, it's a Moon Man floating. | ||
| That does look gorgeous. | ||
| Moon Man is floating. | ||
| I mean, you know, there's another company called MB&F, which is not as kind of... | ||
| Dumb, for lack of a better word. | ||
| It's just a little less flashy, and it looks like a fucking rocketeer, Trekkie space communicator, but it's all mechanical. | ||
| It's called MB&F, and they come out. | ||
| People are doing some real creative shit, Joe. | ||
| Oh, they really are. | ||
| That's the kind of shit that made Ted Kaczynski move to the woods and become the Unabomber. | ||
| He knew where all this is going. | ||
| People can't leave anything alone. | ||
| They have to innovate on everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's kind of okay, isn't it? | |
| Oh, it's really okay. | ||
| Look, it makes our life way more interesting. | ||
| There's worse things than innovating in a mechanical timepiece, right? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| This is MB&F. That's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| Those two domes sort of spin around. | ||
| They make a couple different crazy ones. | ||
| Oh my god, that's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, so they have these sort of real spacey kind of alien device type watches. | ||
| I mean, they're very expensive, but they're very... | ||
| That is so gorgeous. | ||
| Let me see that again. | ||
| That is so pretty. | ||
| The one with the four is really crazy, too. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Yeah, so you can see on the left is the hour and the right is the minute. | ||
| That's like a scale, an old-timey scale at Grandpa's house. | ||
| That one, this is my jam. | ||
| That's the space jam right there. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's just crazy fucking watchmaking, dude. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Yeah, it's space machines. | ||
| Back that up. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| So that one, you see the bottom left... | ||
| You better have a phone if you want to know the time. | ||
| Yeah, this shit ain't for telling the time, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's not. | |
| This is for telling everybody that you run shit. | ||
| That is the craziest thing to have on your body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| You got a house on your body. | ||
| So in this one, the entire clock moves around the diamonds. | ||
| Of course it does. | ||
| Yeah, why wouldn't it? | ||
| Why wouldn't it? | ||
| Of course it does. | ||
| Spin, bitch. | ||
| I mean, you know, it's all real crazy. | ||
| The round one is very cool. | ||
| The concentric one, yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It looks like a UFO. That one on the right-hand side that you just had, Jamie. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This? | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| The blue one? | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| The blue one that you just had? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's concentric rings. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| The rings are concentric. | ||
| So you see the line on the bottom? | ||
| So it's 5.52 is the time there. | ||
| Or 4.52, excuse me. | ||
| What is in the center? | ||
| Is that a squirrel? | ||
| In the center is the tourbillon. | ||
| That's the mechanism that powers it. | ||
| There's other watches. | ||
| Have you ever heard of an HYT watch? | ||
| No. | ||
| HYT watches are fucking nuts because they're powered by bellows and liquid. | ||
| So they tell the time. | ||
| Yeah, give me one where you can see some of the liquid. | ||
| How do you know so much? | ||
| I didn't study this shit. | ||
| Wait, no, that's not a good picture, Jamie. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Stop! | ||
| That thing's dope as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, bottom left. | |
| I want to show the liquid specifically. | ||
| So that one right there, that. | ||
| Yeah, we did this one before, I think. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So the liquid fills up and moves around the face as the time goes. | ||
| And these bellows move. | ||
| So you see the bellows in the middle there? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's pumping the liquid around the fucking clock face. | ||
| I feel like you've shown this to me before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| That one seemed familiar when I saw them. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, the liquid ones. | ||
| So those are like $40,000, $50,000, $60,000. | ||
| It starts getting real crazy with the liquid shit. | ||
| That's such crazy balling. | ||
| That skull one. | ||
| 72 G's. | ||
| That skull one's pretty goddamn dope. | ||
| Axl Rose is sponsored by this company. | ||
| Of course he is. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| If I was an angry rock and roll guy. | ||
| Perfect, right? | ||
| I'm not saying that Axl is, but you know, you've got angry style. | ||
| That's a perfect thing, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| It's a perfect Axl Rose watch. | ||
| I mean, you wouldn't recommend it to James Taylor. | ||
| In my mind. | ||
| Like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I know. | |
| Some people couldn't, like... | ||
| Takes a certain type. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if you wanted to get into some really next-level weirdness, that's a good way to do it. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's that box? | ||
| It's a digital watch. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| A PS2 wrist drive scuba pro? | ||
| That's a dive computer. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| It's a scuba diving computer. | ||
| Oh yeah, that one right there is the MB&F Legacy Machine Perpetual. | ||
| So this round one, right? | ||
| One to the right, Jamie. | ||
| Diving makes me feel the same as reverse Alex Honnold. | ||
| That's what diving makes me feel the same. | ||
| I'm like, get up! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get up! | |
| Get the fuck out of there! | ||
| This one does the same shit as the first one I showed you. | ||
| It counts the date and stuff for like 400 years, but it just does it in a prettier, crazier way. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, this is what I'm fascinated by, that somebody and some group of people, obviously it's not like one wizard, and they're doing it at multiple companies all around the world, and they're innovating, and they're competing with each other to make cooler and weirder shit. | ||
| And all this stuff is, I guess it's a watch, but it's way more than just a watch. | ||
| Sorry, Jamie. | ||
| Go back to that weird spaceship one that was... | ||
| Yeah, the one in the middle. | ||
| Yeah, right there, right there. | ||
| That one. | ||
| Space communicator watch! | ||
| That is so crazy! | ||
| Look at that thing! | ||
| That's not really a watch. | ||
| This one's cool. | ||
| It's mechanical, but you read it from the side like that. | ||
| It's very space communicator. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool. | ||
| It's something different. | ||
| It's something different than a watch. | ||
| It's like that Singer DLS, right? | ||
| They take this old, the old way, and they evolve the old way as far as they can. | ||
| So these watches have amazing materials, like really interesting alloys they make for stuff. | ||
| A lot of these companies make their own alloys, which is really interesting. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| So cool, man. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It looks like what we thought a spaceship was going to look like in the 1950s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's a watch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Doesn't that kind of look... | ||
| Yeah, it's like the movie The Rocketeer. | ||
| It reminds me of The Rocketeer's rocket. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's totally like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Like, you know how Elon's only seen Spaceballs? | ||
| Like, this dude's only seen The Rocketeer. | ||
| God, that's so beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This shit's incredible, dude. | ||
| Most people will think you're a weirdo for wearing it, but if you wore something like this to a watch nerds gathering, they'll think you're the king of the universe. | ||
| You walk in something like this. | ||
| I'm going to a watch nerd gathering after this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you really? | |
| There's a Grand Seiko party. | ||
| They announced the new watch. | ||
| Oh, the Godzilla watch? | ||
| The Godzilla watch. | ||
| Which, I don't really like car watch co-brands. | ||
| I think the connection is obvious enough. | ||
| You don't need to shove it in my face. | ||
| But I'm still going to go to the party. | ||
| It's a car watch co-brand? | ||
| Yeah, Godzilla is the Nissan GT-R, not the movie monster. | ||
| So it's a cross-branding with the Nissan GT-R and the Grand Saco. | ||
| Oh, I got confused. | ||
| I thought it was like an anniversary thing for Godzilla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's the Nissan GT-R. Oh, so that Godzilla. | |
| That Godzilla. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Well, it looks dope. | ||
| It does look dope. | ||
| Oh, wait, it might actually be the movie Godzilla. | ||
| 65th anniversary. | ||
| Maybe it is this fucking 65th anniversary. | ||
| They came out with a Nissan GTR watch like months ago, so maybe I just got confused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no, no, no, no. | |
| You did. | ||
| I remember the GTR watch was like a chronograph. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's like a bunch of different little, yeah. | ||
| That's what I get for not doing my homework. | ||
| I guess it is the movie monster anniversary. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| It looks like it's like a dinosaur skin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The leather skin. | ||
| Yeah, see that one, GTR 50th, that was like a couple months ago, so sorry. | ||
| Their finish quality is amazing. | ||
| Let me see that Godzilla thing again. | ||
| Did you do the thing I told you about the reflections on the back of the hands? | ||
| No, I didn't look. | ||
| So Grand Seiko, their finishing on the back of the hands is as good as the finishing on the front of the hands. | ||
| And if you reflect a light certain ways, you can get it to reflect on the dial. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| That thing looks wicked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They make a nice watch. | ||
| Well, they have really pretty design. | ||
| Whoever is designing their stuff, it's very... | ||
| That's a weird thing about watches or anything that someone makes. | ||
| It's like, what appeals to the eye? | ||
| Like that TGT Studios clock, see that thing? | ||
| This thing? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's something that appeals to the eye. | ||
| It's a piece of art that also tells you the time. | ||
| But there's something about it, like the way it's shaped, the way it's formed. | ||
| It makes you want to look at it. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Well, really, the very best watches, you just stare at them sometimes. | ||
| Like, your watch, I love... | ||
| Is yours a spring drive? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so the spring drive with the super smooth hand sweep... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm pretending I'm diving. | |
| You don't need to be diving to wear a dive watch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm diving, bro. | |
| I gotta dive. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| If shit hits the fan, I want a waterproof watch. | ||
| No, you just get your shit wet all the time, probably, right? | ||
| Between the tanks and the sweating and the washing your hands and whatever. | ||
| It's definitely gonna get wet occasionally. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, a dive watch isn't for people who dive. | ||
| It's for people who just get their hands wet a little bit. | ||
| Tell that to a diver. | ||
| They want to piss in your mouth right now. | ||
| Fuck you, bro. | ||
| I'm a diver. | ||
| I'm a scuba diving instructor. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You teach people how to dive? | ||
| I can. | ||
| I did in my early 20s. | ||
| Now I do this. | ||
| You gave me a diver pass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Shazam. | ||
| I absolve you. | ||
| Dude, I'm terrified of the ocean. | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Getting in that water with all those fucking things that move better than you. | |
| Yeah, but most of them don't care about you. | ||
| Most of them, you're just looking at them. | ||
| That's the key word, isn't it? | ||
| Most of them. | ||
| I went to the Galapagos this year and I saw hammerhead sharks while snorkeling. | ||
| It was rad. | ||
| Nothing cuter than a baby hammerhead. | ||
| Like this big. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Like a foot long. | ||
| It was the cutest thing ever. | ||
| But like, yeah, I can see how the ocean is big and dark and scary. | ||
| Dude, it's terrifying. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I still get a little nervous when I go in the ocean. | ||
| You should be scared. | ||
| You can't move good. | ||
| There's monsters in there. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| I know. | ||
| This is what I always say about sharks. | ||
| If there was a werewolf, and the werewolf came out every full moon, and every full moon, if you were outside your house, you got murdered. | ||
| You just got ripped apart. | ||
| It happened to one person every full moon all across the land. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People would be like, fuck, man, I'm not going out on a full moon. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Sharks are like werewolves, but they're werewolves every day of the year. | ||
| I don't think shark attacks are that common. | ||
| Because they don't see you, and you're not supposed to be there. | ||
| So they're not accustomed to you. | ||
| If they were accustomed to you, like if we lived in the water with sharks, do you think the moral duty that sharks have to be good neighbors who keep them from eating us? | ||
| If we were just everywhere in the water all the time and sharks figured it out, we'd be like, oh, we could just eat them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's just eat them. | ||
| They're just dumb. | ||
| They don't know they're supposed to eat us. | ||
| They have a narrow thing in their eye of what they're supposed to be eating. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think they like us. | ||
| I don't think they want to eat us. | ||
| They're just not accustomed to it. | ||
| Their focus is... | ||
| When they bite people, don't they spit them out a lot? | ||
| They rarely finish a human. | ||
| You see them, they take a limb. | ||
| They don't finish a human. | ||
| I saw Jaws, dude. | ||
| In Jaws, they finish people, and there was also fucking license plates and shit. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Oh, yeah, they eat trash. | ||
| Yeah, they'll eat anything. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, they'll eat trash. | ||
| They'll eat your asshole. | ||
| They eat everything. | ||
| Yeah, but they probably wouldn't eat two license plates in a row. | ||
| They might. | ||
| I don't think they think. | ||
| I think they're just eating machines. | ||
| I don't know any better, but I don't think there's any evidence that sharks are like wizards. | ||
| They're really smart and clever. | ||
| Like, dolphins are clever as fuck. | ||
| Orcas are clever. | ||
| We know. | ||
| Sharks are just these murderers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just... | |
| With a continual row of teeth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The teeth fall out, new one pops in, bang, like a rotor. | ||
| But I don't go diving where there's fucking great lights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, they're everywhere! | |
| I mean, yeah, I guess. | ||
| You don't go into a neighborhood, they can just decide to go to your neighborhood. | ||
| It's like if you were camping on a giant campground. | ||
| And out there in that campground, wolves were tearing open fucking tents and pulling people out and eating them alive. | ||
| Would you feel like, well, they never come up here. | ||
| They're literally chumming that shark. | ||
| They're feeding that shark in that image. | ||
| It's a real thing, dude. | ||
| They brought in a werewolf. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| If you had a fucking cage and it could put you in the middle of the woods and your friend ties a lamb to the outside of the cage so you could see the werewolf in real life and it looks like American werewolf in London. | ||
| That's that! | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's the same thing! | ||
| I don't go fucking shark diving. | ||
| What do you want from me? | ||
| Stay out of the ocean, please. | ||
| Do me a favor. | ||
| I like the ocean. | ||
| Look at those teeth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I'm so scared for you. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I go, what about, Joe, don't you go walk, what about mountain lions? | ||
| You go walking in the woods with your fucking dog and shit. | ||
| I bring a knife, I'm such a pussy. | ||
| I'm trying to pretend that I'd be able to stab some mountain lion and get it off of me. | ||
| I dive with a knife. | ||
| My dog would try to make friends with the mountain lion. | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| You know what he barks at? | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| The only thing he barks at. | ||
| Is what? | ||
| He barks at when people have a Santa Claus on their driveway. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| He's never seen, you know, he doesn't know what the fuck they are, right? | ||
| He doesn't see, that's like a normal thing for him to see. | ||
| Like a glowing Santa Claus? | ||
| So we're walking, we're walking, and I take him to the trail, and I open up the back to let him out. | ||
| He jumps out onto the sidewalk, and looks at this guy's fucking, this guy's fake snowman, and starts barking. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And then he just goes, oh my god, I'm an idiot. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He realizes it's just some fucking thing that's not really a person, and then he just runs up the hill. | ||
| I got kittens a couple months ago, and one of them just learned that he was fighting himself in the mirror, which was a really fun 20 minutes to watch him figure that out. | ||
| When they chase their own tail, it's fucking genuinely hilarious. | ||
| There's something about watching a kitten just spin around their own tail. | ||
| They're dumb as fuck, but they're so fun. | ||
| I love my kittens. | ||
| It's such a little drug. | ||
| It's so joy-inducing to watch a kitten just spin around. | ||
| Dude, I don't watch TV. I have four cats in my house, and all I do is, like, what are the cats doing? | ||
| And just watch what other cats are doing. | ||
| It's constantly entertaining. | ||
| Do you know the video with the cat and the two crows, where the crow and the two cats, where this crow instigates a fight between these two cats? | ||
| No, this sounds awesome. | ||
| The crow lands on the roof, like real close to a cat, and he's like, what? | ||
| And the cat moves at him, and he flies away real quick, and he comes back, and then he flies over to the other roof. | ||
| Oh, this is a different one where they're doing it. | ||
| And he causes the two cats to fight each other? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| They fuck with the cats and they get them close to each other and watch them fight. | ||
| That's like the Don King of birds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| They do it all the time. | ||
| They like doing it. | ||
| That is so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So they instigate fights. | |
| So there's this one. | ||
| They literally pick on them and get them worked up so they'll fuck up the other cat. | ||
| Bro, that's so funny. | ||
| There was one where these cats were on the roof. | ||
| There's probably a hundred of these videos. | ||
| They're really clever. | ||
| You've seen, like, the videos of... | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
| It's just not coming up. | ||
| You've seen the videos of crows. | ||
| Is it crows or ravens that can use tools? | ||
| They can use tools... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, can I ask a practical question? | |
| This is a really interesting topic, but what is the legal thing with playing a clip from YouTube on this podcast? | ||
| We can't. | ||
| Nobody's looking at that. | ||
| They're seeing us. | ||
| We can't use the clips. | ||
| That's why we're not... | ||
| Oh, got it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| You can't use other people's shit. | ||
| They'll take you down. | ||
| I completely understand, but in my show, I sometimes show images in the feed, and so I was wondering if you were doing that or not. | ||
| You can, but people will try to claim... | ||
| You can show images. | ||
| I'll give websites credit. | ||
| I want to promote the website. | ||
| But if you have someone else's stuff on your feed... | ||
| Crow's using compound tools. | ||
| What is a compound tool? | ||
| It explains that here, so... | ||
| Took two things and made it a better tool. | ||
| Oh shit, really? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Yo, we're fucked. | ||
| They figured out at one point in time how to take one tool and use it to get a second tool that was bigger and use that second tool to get food. | ||
| So they figured out using a tool to get a tool to use a tool. | ||
| But now they're figuring out how to make tools, bitch! | ||
| They're connecting things together, son. | ||
| That's bonkers. | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| We started that too at Monkeys back in the day. | ||
| We figured out a compound tool. | ||
| As much as I love cats, cats are not that smart. | ||
| They're not that smart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, that's okay. | |
| Those little fuckers are sneaky. | ||
| They pick fights. | ||
| I had a cat that could open doors, which was interesting. | ||
| Were you ever getting in on when the cat jumped in? | ||
| This is the one. | ||
| This is the one. | ||
| So go right to the beginning, because in the beginning you see the crows on the roof with him, fucking with him. | ||
| See? | ||
| The very beginning of it. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Just play it from there. | ||
| See how the crow takes off? | ||
| So he was fucking with him. | ||
| And then he flies over to the other one. | ||
| See? | ||
| And he's like, what's up, bitch? | ||
| You gonna let this fucking pussy hang out over here on this roof right next to you? | ||
| And he starts getting close to him and riling him up and flying away when the cat gets close. | ||
| And then he goes back again to the other cat and fucks with him. | ||
| He gets him riled up and then he flies away. | ||
| And he goes back to the other cat and he flies away. | ||
| And he keeps doing it until they're on edge. | ||
| Because he's a little cunt. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's so smart. | ||
| And so then he flies away, and then the cats are looking at each other. | ||
| And so he starts fucking with the cats, and now the cat's getting more and more angry. | ||
| Like, he's starting a fight between these two cats. | ||
| He's actually pushing the cat towards the other roof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Holy shit, that's crazy. | ||
| He made that cat jump up. | ||
| And this fucking bird is just over here like, yeah, yeah, get him! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They fall off the fucking roof. | ||
| The bird follows him down. | ||
| Hanging on each other in the snow. | ||
| Bro, this bird is having a good time. | ||
| Dude, that bird is evil. | ||
| That bird is so evil. | ||
| That bird is having his own kitty cat fights to the death. | ||
| Oh my god, look at these guys going down a hole! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit! | |
| Bro, you should just be commentating this shit. | ||
| This is a fucking crazy fight. | ||
| That is awesome. | ||
| My cat, Conrad, my 15-year-old boy chased a fucking stray out of our yard yesterday like a boss. | ||
| Cats are sneaky, man. | ||
| They're smart little fuckers and they carry some creepy diseases. | ||
| Maybe they're paying them back for killing all their friends. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Eight million birds a year or whatever it is. | ||
| Oh, billions. | ||
| Oh, dude, my cats have fucked some birds up. | ||
| Yeah, well, they said that they didn't have any idea. | ||
| I remember what the number was. | ||
| Excuse me, I don't remember what the number was, but it's in the billions. | ||
| And they were stunned. | ||
| They had no idea. | ||
| They ran some sort of a scientific study. | ||
| And using this study, they examined all of the... | ||
| I'm good, dude. | ||
| Mike Tyson's really good at weed. | ||
| Turns out. | ||
| I flashed this up. | ||
| This was taken in Northridge a week ago. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a mountain line on someone's roof. | ||
| Oh, fucking hell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, fuck that. | |
| Apparently, there's two of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| In Northridge? | ||
| Two on the roof at the same time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so crazy. | ||
| Hide your kids, hide your wife. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they're looking for dogs and cats. | ||
| One of the things they found out when they killed them in San Francisco, in the Bay Area, they have real problems up there sometimes. | ||
| Especially some of those homes that, like, sort of like we have Malibu, where the mountain lions live real in close proximity with the people. | ||
| So they do these stomach examinations. | ||
| They find it's like half dogs and cats. | ||
| Well, the cat that I said that could open doors and shit, he wanted nothing more than to kill one of my other cats. | ||
| He was a Russian Blue, had three legs, and he was really, really smart. | ||
| We adopted him, and we tried for like six months to make it work. | ||
| We tried everything. | ||
| Everything you could think of to make it work. | ||
| You brought a criminal into your home. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And I didn't know. | ||
| And we rehomed him with my brother-in-law and his wife. | ||
| And he got along with the dog and was having the best time and chill. | ||
| But he thought he fucking ran shit. | ||
| He thought he owned the neighborhood. | ||
| And he ended up getting eaten by a mountain lion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Three legs versus a mountain lion. | ||
| R.I.P. Morgan. | ||
| Smartest, fastest three-legged animal you've ever seen, but fucking... | ||
| Yeah, and mountain lion won. | ||
| Maybe he's a little cocky for his own good. | ||
| A thousand percent. | ||
| He thought he ran shit. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Imagine the moment when you realize that that's a giant you. | ||
| Like, you know, you think you're this bad motherfucker because you could jack most animals, and then you realize, oh my god, this is a 140-pound me. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| It was never seen again. | ||
| Bro, we're so weird that we let those things just wander around us. | ||
| We're so weird. | ||
| I always think it's really strange that I live with another species in my house. | ||
| I think about that very often. | ||
| I mean mountain lions. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| As opposed to what? | ||
| Like exterminating them? | ||
| Fucking holocausting them? | ||
| Killing them. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Genocide. | ||
| I don't advocate that. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I don't advocate that. | ||
| I don't think we should kill them. | ||
| All I'm saying is it's really interesting that we have this thing that we sort of agree rarely, rarely kills people, but it does sometimes, and we want to keep it around. | ||
| Sounds an awful lot like the sharks, bro. | ||
| And we also have to acknowledge that they're running out of shit to eat. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Not a thing? | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| When was the last time you saw a deer? | ||
| Fairly recently, but not often. | ||
| Not here. | ||
| It's pretty rare, even if you live where deer are. | ||
| Growing up in the suburbs of New York, I used to see deer daily. | ||
| Do you think deer are on the pill? | ||
| No. | ||
| What do you think's going on? | ||
| I've lived in a city and I haven't paid attention to the deer in the suburbs. | ||
| I'll tell you what's happened, man. | ||
| Cats. | ||
| They've moved in and started jacking deer. | ||
| And coyotes moved in and started jacking deer. | ||
| Cats are fucking up deer? | ||
| Big cats. | ||
| Oh, mountain lions. | ||
| Bobcats are fucking up deer. | ||
| Everybody's fucking up the fawns. | ||
| Everybody's fucking up the babies. | ||
| So when the babies are born, they have zero chance. | ||
| These big fucking, big wild dogs. | ||
| Coyotes are a dog. | ||
| Is that everywhere or just California? | ||
| Just like outside of L.A.? Mostly around us. | ||
| If you go to, like, Iowa, they have too many deer. | ||
| Like, you'll be driving during the run. | ||
| So why are we hunting deer and not mountain lion? | ||
| Well, you can't hunt mountain lion in California. | ||
| They don't have... | ||
| Is there a predatory cat that you should hunt? | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| You can give... | ||
| Well, see, the thing is, the people think that you need to control their population, and this is where the argument gets real interesting, because it branches off between people that are very much animal advocates, animal rights first. | ||
| They want animals to rule and to be able to have their own freedom on their land and Whatever happens, happens. | ||
| Like mountain lions killing deer and all that kind of stuff. | ||
| Let it all take place. | ||
| We shouldn't interfere with that and we shouldn't hunt. | ||
| There's people that really think like that. | ||
| They have their arguments and they have their reasons but the reality of animals is if you have large predators and the large predator runs out of things to eat, it's either going to go further and enter into new areas looking for food and it might get hit by cars or it's going to branch out Start eating pets. | ||
| It's going to expand its range. | ||
| And in expanding its range, it's going to find a farm, or it's going to find a dog in the backyard. | ||
| It's going to find something, because it's just trying to get food. | ||
| And how many of those are we willing to have around us? | ||
| I'm not saying that we should kill mountain lions. | ||
| I think it's wonderful that they live. | ||
| Are they endangered? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| So why can't we kill them? | ||
| They hunt them in other parts of the country. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| The only time California kills them really is when they get what's called a depredation order. | ||
| If someone has something happen, like if you run a farm and a mountain lion starts killing your livestock, which does happen. | ||
| A lady in Malibu a few years back had a, I think it was an alpaca farm, and this fucking mountain lion killed a ton of them. | ||
| It was just killing them. | ||
| They seem easy to kill, though. | ||
| I think it killed a goat, too. | ||
| I think it was just getting a kick out of killing things, you know? | ||
| It was just fun. | ||
| But they said it wasn't even eating him, which was really nuts. | ||
| That's strange. | ||
| I think he couldn't get it out, you know? | ||
| It's probably a really big animal. | ||
| And he couldn't get it out, and he probably didn't feel comfortable enough to eat it while he's in there. | ||
| So he's probably really confused. | ||
| Oh, he killed him all at once? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Well, I think it was over a couple of days, but it was kind of a killing spree. | ||
| Pull up a Malibu fucking mountain lion. | ||
| He just killed for fun. | ||
| First of all, when you think about Mal, do you really think about an alpaca farm? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Well, no, I think of that in Topanga. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And if you did think about one of them, you wouldn't think about it. | ||
| I just drove here, by the way, over Topanga. | ||
| Someone, it seems, is building a house that's like a dome that they're going to put dirt over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see this? | |
| It's up at the top of the hill in Topanga facing the beach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A dome? | |
| Yeah, like, okay, so picture a facade, a flat facade with a bunch of windows, brick, and then it just kind of ends, and then there's this concrete kind of three-quarter dome that comes out from behind it. | ||
| And they're covering, when I drove by, they were covering the dome with this sort of tarpy waterproofing layer, and it looked like they were going to then move Earth and build a mountain over the dome, so your home would be sort of inside this man-made mountain. | ||
| It's a fucking hobbit house. | ||
| It seemed kind of odd. | ||
| What if somebody off-roads on your roof and it crushes your house and you don't even know? | ||
| That could be a problem. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| You don't want to live underground. | ||
| What are you, a rat? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seemed weird, but it was very interesting. | ||
| It seems fire-resistant if the whole neighborhood catches on fire. | ||
| Are you a gopher, bro? | ||
| Why are you living underground? | ||
| If you had to live in the air, underground, or underwater? | ||
| Oh, underground, for sure. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| No, so that's a geodesic dome. | ||
| This is sort of, it's a flat facade. | ||
| Whoever lives there believes in crystals. | ||
| It's not built yet. | ||
| It's like half built, but that's pretty fucking cool. | ||
| Go back to that picture. | ||
| Whoever lives in there for sure believes in chanting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Crystals. | ||
| They call the corners regularly. | ||
| Look how pretty it is. | ||
| I mean, but the idea of living in a fun shape like that is cool. | ||
| It would make your life more interesting. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| If only I lived in a dome, everybody would like me. | ||
| But how long do you think you could live like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Some weirdo fucking art house before you're like, let me just have a house house. | ||
| Like, you don't need... | ||
| You want to sit in a house house. | ||
| There's an art house right near me that's a very famous architect. | ||
| I think it's Frank Gary's art house. | ||
| And it's a terrible use of space, but it literally has... | ||
| Like a tree house. | ||
| Like a box on a post. | ||
| Just floating above the house. | ||
| And there's like little stairs that go up there. | ||
| And there's just a dining room table for two. | ||
| In the air on a post. | ||
| That's bonkers. | ||
| Get out of there. | ||
| It doesn't seem particularly convenient to live in. | ||
| But sometimes you're into those, you know, you gotta have that designer house. | ||
| Yeah, what if it got hit by an asteroid? | ||
| Oh my god, a direct shot? | ||
| The luck would be unbelievable. | ||
| God telling you, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You shouldn't have bought an art house. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with your art house, bro. | ||
| I'm approaching my pee limit. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Three and a half. | ||
| Well, we're at 6.30. | ||
| We could wrap this bad boy up and bring it home. | ||
| I'm really proud of myself for not peeing during the show. | ||
| It was a goal. | ||
| And I did three bottles of fucking water, too. | ||
| I was worried. | ||
| I had to pee before the show. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| Thank you for having me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always a good time, man. | |
| Always a good time. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| I enjoy geeking out with you. | ||
| It's been very fun. | ||
| Tell everybody, website, Twitter, Instagram. | ||
| The Smoking Tire for all my media shit. | ||
| And if you have a cool car, you need somewhere to keep it in Los Angeles. | ||
| Westside Collector Car Storage. | ||
| Find us online. | ||
| Thank you, Joe. | ||
| What a pleasure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, sir. | |
| Always a pleasure. | ||
| Thanks, Jamie. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| That was great, man. |
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